#the love is there but the relationship is built on a shaky foundation

[thursdayinspace]

another random question but what do you think would have happened if scully had never gotten abducted?

i love this question. i mean, long-term, it would have changed *a lot*. no cancer arc, which would be the biggest and most obvious change. but what would it have changed right then and there? the abduction definitely impacted their partnership and their friendship.

in one way, it brought things to the surface, especially for mulder. he wasn't unaware of her importance in his life before the abduction. telling his tape recorder that he could only trust himself and now he can only trust her? telling her that the only reason he could see to stay with the fbi was if they were working together? he was already relying on her presence in his life. a lot. but when she was taken from him, i think he felt a fear and despair that he would not have anticipated. it's one thing to know you need someone who is right there, and who will set up secret meetings in a parking garage, and who, even if you *can't* right now, is someone you know deep down you *could* reach out to. it's another thing to need someone who is gone.

so in that way, i think he did become aware that he was feeling more than he had realized. and that realization definitely had an impact on their relationship. but there's another side to it:

the abduction was the first time he became aware of *his* role in *her* life. and what he saw there wasn't good. because mulder being mulder, of course he takes responsibility, of course he blames himself. the fact that none of it was his fault doesn't matter. this is when he realizes that their quest, *his* quest, is putting her in real, life-threatening danger. and that thought never leaves him again. we see that guilt that takes root in his mind there all the way up into the revival. so that is a huge thing. he would have eventually found other things to blame himself for. mulder takes things personally and holds himself accountable for things that are completely outside of his control. so if it hadn't been this, it would have been something else. because things would still have happened to her. but being abducted and being gone for that long and coming back on the brink of death? that, for lack of a better expression, really fucked them both up in a big way.

so, what is my answer to your question? i don't know. i mean, for one, scully's side of the story is still completely missing from this. i find that a lot harder to unpack. if anyone wants to analyze that, i'd love to hear your thoughts! but also, both these things i talked about could have affected them in any number of ways. it comes down to likelihoods and probabilities. in the end you never know for sure how a person will react to a situation until after they've done it. and you don't know how not going through an experience might change them. and no headcanon any of us might have will tell the story as it would have happened with 100% certainty because human behavior is simply too complex and complicated to predict with any kind of accuracy.

if mulder hadn't been pushed through external circumstances to confront his feelings in that way, if he hadn't carried her cross, held her hand fearing it might be the last time, that would have taken a huge weight off both of them. there might have been a greater ease to their relationship. mulder wouldn't be feeling that guilt. scully wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of all of that. the abduction, in my opinion, brought them closer to each other, but also served as an obstacle on their way forward, because it's quite something to move on from, more so since it brought feelings to the surface that neither of them was ready for.

*i personally* think the abduction strengthened the bond between them but weakened the foundation of their relationship. because of that added guilt and the fact that they were not ready to confront certain feelings. i think his fear of losing her is something that came to define him. and he kept almost losing her. if that hadn't happened? things between them could have progressed at an easier pace. their friendship, and the love they feel for each other. but honestly, i have no idea. but i had a lot of fun thinking about this.

[astrolook]

Your Saturn Return: Why Life Feels Like a Cosmic Midlife Crisis (And How to Survive It)

So, you just hit your late 20s, and suddenly, life feels like it’s testing you in ways you definitely did not sign up for. Your job? Feels like a never-ending loop of doom. Your love life? Either nonexistent or way too serious. Your friendships? Half of them vanished overnight. Congratulations 🎉, my friend—you’re entering your Saturn Return.

Wait… WTF is a Saturn Return?

Saturn, aka the strict cosmic dad of the zodiac, takes about 29.5 years to return to the exact spot it was when you were born. When it does? It’s like a stern life coach showing up at your front door yelling, “Hey, time to get your act together!” 🚪

If you’ve been coasting through life without a plan, Saturn’s about to hit you with a reality check. If you’ve been avoiding responsibility, Saturn’s here to serve up consequences. This transit pushes you toward maturity, purpose, and stability—whether you like it or not.

And trust me, where Saturn is in your birth chart determines exactly what part of your life is getting dragged through the trenches. 👀

Saturn Return in the Houses: What’s Falling Apart for You?

🪐 Saturn in the 1st House: "Who even am I?" 😵‍💫

Saturn is forcing you to redefine your identity and take yourself seriously.

Expect a whole personality shift—old habits, appearances, and insecurities are all under review.

You might feel more self-critical, but this is actually the universe pushing you to build real confidence.

🏠 Saturn in the 2nd House: "Am I broke or just bad with money?" 💸

Money lessons are here, whether it’s job insecurity, budgeting struggles, or learning self-worth.

Saturn is making you rebuild your finances from the ground up.

By the end of this, you’ll be handling money like a pro (or at least not blowing your paycheck on impulse buys).

📖 Saturn in the 3rd House: "Why is communicating suddenly so hard?" 🗣️

Your ideas, words, and even how you think are getting a major upgrade.

Maybe you’re going back to school, learning a new skill, or dealing with serious sibling drama.

Saturn wants you to become a master of clear, meaningful communication.

🏡 Saturn in the 4th House: "Family trauma speedrun—let’s go!" 😭

Childhood wounds? Generational patterns? Emotional baggage? Yup, all resurfacing.

You might be moving, buying a house, or redefining what “home” even means.

Saturn wants you to break toxic family cycles and create a stable foundation for yourself.

💖 Saturn in the 5th House: "Why does fun suddenly feel illegal?" 🎭

Romance, creativity, and self-expression feel like they’re being put through a cosmic stress test.

This is a "grow up or give up" moment—either commit to your passions or find something more meaningful.

If you’ve been dating like a chaotic mess, Saturn’s about to demand some emotional maturity.

💼 Saturn in the 6th House: "Work, health, routines—why is everything so exhausting?" ⏳

If your daily life is a disaster, Saturn’s here to force you into discipline.

Your health, habits, and work ethic are getting an overhaul (expect wake-up calls about burnout and self-care).

By the end of this, you’ll be the person who actually sticks to a schedule and drinks enough water.

⚖️ Saturn in the 7th House: "Why is my love life being personally attacked?" 💔

Saturn is testing ALL your relationships—romantic, friendships, business partners.

If it’s built on shaky ground, expect breakups, ghosting, or deep confrontations.

The good news? If you survive this, you’ll only attract relationships that are strong and long-term. You could even get married between the ages of 27-31.

💀 Saturn in the 8th House: "I did NOT sign up for this level of emotional intensity." 🖤

Deep psychological work, trust issues, and facing your fears—Saturn is dragging you into the underworld.

You might deal with financial debts, inheritances, or a major transformation in your personal power.

It’s tough, but once you get through this, you’ll be emotionally unshakeable.

🏹 Saturn in the 9th House: "Time to get my shit together and figure out my beliefs."* 📚

You’re questioning everything—your worldview, religion, education, and even your life goals.

Saturn might push you toward travel, higher education, or a deep spiritual awakening.

By the end of this, you’ll have a clear purpose and philosophy to guide your life.

🏆 Saturn in the 10th House: "Am I failing at life or just leveling up?" 💼

Saturn is testing your career, reputation, and sense of achievement.

Expect job shakeups, new responsibilities, and pressure to succeed.

If you do the work, you’ll come out of this as a true expert in your field.

💙 Saturn in the 11th House: "Where did all my friends go?"

Your social circles are getting a reality check.

Fake friendships fall away, and Saturn pushes you toward meaningful, long-term connections.

You might feel isolated at first, but in the end, you’ll find your true people.

🛌 Saturn in the 12th House: "Why do I just want to stay in bed forever?" 😴

The hidden corners of your mind are getting a deep cleaning.

You might deal with subconscious fears, spiritual awakenings, or deep solitude.

By the end of this, you’ll be more spiritually aligned and self-aware than ever before.

How to Survive Your Saturn Return (And Not Cry Every Day)

🔹 Accept the lessons. Saturn isn’t punishing you—he’s making you stronger. Learn the lesson, or Saturn will make you repeat it. 🔹 Commit to self-improvement. Whether it’s therapy, new habits, or changing your mindset, this is your time to grow. 🔹 Get a personal birth chart reading. Want to know exactly what this transit means for you? DM me for a complete birth chart reading, and let’s decode your cosmic homework! 🔮

[theoccultmoon]

⛤A Card a Day ⛤ 

Day two 

Welcome back to A Card a Day, where we break down the meaning of a single Tarot card each day! Yesterday, we explored the intense energy of The Devil. Today, we’ll look at another powerhouse card, one that can strike fear in the hearts of Tarot readers everywhere: The Tower. 

The Tower is a card of upheaval and dramatic transformation. Though its energy can be overwhelming, it’s a reminder that destruction often clears the way for rebuilding stronger foundations. Let’s dive deeper! 

Today’s Card: The Tower ⚡🏰 

Upright Meaning: 

The Tower signifies sudden, unexpected change, often in the form of upheaval or chaos. It can represent the breaking down of false structures or beliefs, forcing you to confront uncomfortable truths. Though it may feel destructive in the moment, this card ultimately makes room for growth, authenticity, and freedom. It’s the universe’s way of saying, “It’s time to start fresh.” 

In Love Readings ♡ (Upright): 

This card can indicate a shocking revelation or a major shake-up in your relationship. It might signify the end of a partnership that was built on shaky foundations, or it could point to a necessary reckoning to create a healthier dynamic. 

Reversed Meaning: 

 Reversed, The Tower suggests a softer landing. While upheaval may still occur, it’s less catastrophic and more controlled. This card reversed can also symbolize resistance to change, urging you to let go and embrace the inevitable. 

In Love Readings ❥︎ (Reversed): 

The reversed Tower may indicate avoiding a breakup or skirting around deep issues in a relationship. It might also suggest that the worst has passed, allowing for rebuilding and healing after a crisis. 

What The Tower Teaches Us: 

 Though The Tower can feel overwhelming, it carries a profound lesson: sometimes, we must let go of what no longer serves us to build something better. Trust the process, even when it feels like everything is falling apart. 

What has The Tower revealed to you in your readings? Share your thoughts, experiences, and insights below! ☽⛥☾

[arsonisticartichokes]

My favorite KiriDeku headcanon will forever be that Izuku loves the normalcy that comes with being with Kirishima. So many of his closest relationships are built off of anintense emotional connection: his past with Katsuki, his shared grief with Uraraka, his understanding of Shoto's past, and those relationships are GOOD, but they weigh on Izuku's heart in a way he could never explain.

In second year though, his connection with Kirishima makes him feel...normal again, like he's a highschooler, a teenager falling in love. Kirishima takes him to arcades, and comic book stores, and cafes. They both blush and stutter the first time they cuddle on the common room couch together. They walk each other to class. Inko gushes over how handsome Kiri is. It's normal, it's safe, it's comfortable, it's a real, human connection that doesn't sit on the shaky foundation of trauma Izuku knows he'll need years to process.

And sure, there's bad days, nights Izuku sneaks beneath the covers of Kirishima's bed to cry in the other boy's arms, or days Izuku notices the way Kirishima seems quieter than usual, as if embarrassed to simply take up space in a room. But Izuku never leaves those moments with his chest hurting or the ever-growing worry he wasn't prepared to process or deal with those feelings. No, those moments of comfort are so much more soft kisses on scars and movies played to distract from bad thoughts then tear-filled shouting matches or awkward stunned silences.

Falling in love with Kirishima is what breaths humanity back into Izuku in their second year, and fuck that's beautiful.

[roguishcat]

A white lie

Summary: What is love if not finding someone worth protecting? Surely no price is too great? Astarion could not remember being certain of anything in the past 200 years. But he knew without a slither of a doubt that he would do whatever it took to make sure that they were safe. For ever. For good.

A/N: I wrote this as a gift for @bellasmumblingsandmusings as part of my 400 followers celebration. Hope you like it and I'm so, so sorry for taking ages! ❤️❤️ It's my first time using another person's OC in my writing, and Sima ('What could have been') is so awesome and kick-ass! Such a gem of a character! As Astarion had Ascended in 'What could have been', I wanted to explore his thoughts before he made up his mind to go through with the ritual.

Pairing: Astarion x Sima

Word count: 1.5k

It started as most things do - from a lie.

Or perhaps that was not quite it. Perhaps this was what he told himself at the time. Because everything was a lie as far as Astarion was concerned. Every single word out of his mouth certainly was a falsehood. And who could really fault him for that? Cast the first stone, so to speak. Because they were not exactly blameless either. Or if they thought that they were, they would be lying to themselves.

The only thing even remotely true was his reaction to Sima when he saw her for the first time. There was curiosity, perhaps even a smidge of attraction, which was unusual as generally he thought of his targets with cool detachment. After all, it was useless to dwell on ‘what ifs’ when one knew that they would curse him as they drew their last breath.

But travelling with Sima proved that she was different. Sima was exotic, beautiful, and dangerous. Most pretty things were, and she was no exception. Most importantly, she was also resilient, resourceful, brutal. Just the type he needed if he was to survive this long enough to be given the opportunity to plunge his dagger into Cazador’s neck. Perhaps repeatedly.

He began to lure her in, and no matter how intelligent and guarded she was, eventually her eyes started to seek him out. She flew to him like a moth to a detestable flame, but something was holding her back. Astarion was determined to find out what or rather who left that sour taste in her mouth. For no reason other than ensuring she would protect him. After all, what other reason could there possibly be for wanting to know more about her?

But then came the Shadowlands. They fought fiercely against the waves of screeching, rolling masses that sought to overwhelm them, to extinguish any light in the corrupted lands. The undead would always envy those who drew breath still.

Sima stood in front of the opening to the portal. Their brilliant leader, her eyes ablaze, expression hard. Beautiful, fierce, daring.

And in spite of himself, Astarion found that he threw himself headfirst into danger to make sure that the attackers wouldn’t reach her. He razed them with feverish intensity, yet ruby eyes were more focused on how she was faring.

It was foolish and counterintuitive. And yet he did it. Because he hated to think of a world without Sima. Because she deserved to survive this, deserved it more than anyone he has ever known to have a life after all this was over. This relationship may have been built on a shaky foundation of lies - his lies that is - but for the first time in two centuries, Astarion wanted to protect another. And it felt deliriously glorious to have someone worth protecting.

When they got to the city and Sima was faced with the Trial of Love, Astarion initially thought it to be quite tedious. Ridiculous little test for foolish circus-goers who had little else to do with their time.

Except when Sima called for him to join her as ‘the one she loved’, Astarion couldn’t help but hope that there was a grain of truth in that.

He still couldn’t put into words how he felt about her; perhaps he would never be able to. But he wanted her safe. He wanted to be the one to protect her. To have the means to do so. And wasn’t this what she wanted too?

“Ah, my dear sorceress. Am I to have a taste of your sparkling wit, hm?” Astarion grinned and canted a leather-covered hip to one side.

“Oh shush, you,” she scoffed and looked at him over her shoulder. “Do you want to do this or not?”

“Well, what a fool would I be to try and resist such an eloquent invitation!”

And then it was just Sima and him, the voice of the dryad mixing with the gurgling of the waterfall. Astarion cared little about what that dryad has to say, he was focused on Sima. And as much as he lied to himself, pretending that her answers did not matter, he knew that he cared greatly for what she had to say.

“When he’s elbow-deep in gore,” Sima stated seriously, but the corners of her mouth twitched.

“Oh, that would be revenge,” she replied with an air of nonchalance one adopts when discussing the weather.

“Breaking a nail.”

That made him laugh. She was always such fun. He loved that about her. Unpredictable, headstrong, and chaotic. A force to be reckoned with.

And she was his to have, apparently. She understood him in a way that he hadn’t dared to hope anyone would want to.

And Astarion was determined to be the one to give it all to her. Others be damned, he was going to find a way for them never having to worry about tomorrow! A way to be happy, to be safe. Which in his books was the same thing. For good. For all eternity.

So when the sun cast its last rays upon the city on that day, the day when he made up his mind about what Sima meant to him, what their bond meant to him, Astarion was not looking at the sunset. He was admiring the way her hair lit up. She was danger and beauty personified. Her hair was a halo of fire. He admired the blazing ringlets that bled into black so beautifully. She was magnificent, and she was his to have.

“What are you thinking?” Sima murmured into his ear, her elegant, beautiful fingers teasing the curls at the nape of his neck.

“About what tomorrow may bring. About what it means for us.”

And that wasn’t entirely a lie. Astarion pressed a kiss after kiss to her temple, her hair, and under her jaw. And then he swallowed her sigh as she melted against him. He groaned into the kiss, relishing how intoxicating she was. When Astarion broke away, he crushed Sima to his chest, one hand tangled in her curls, the other grasping her waist in a possessive, desperate hold.

"Astarion, what's wrong?"

The fingers grasping her tightly loosened immediately. Of course Sima noticed. Why wouldn’t she? He hasn't been watching himself around her for a while now. It seemed that happiness made him careless.

He had to pull himself together. He couldn’t ruin this. He would not be able to go on if something happened to her just because he hesitated.

"Love, what gave you the idea that something is the matter?" Astarion caressed her cheek, which seemed to soothe him more than her.

"You've been awfully quiet this evening. " Sima didn’t reject his touch, but he could feel her growing more suspicious by the moment.

"Ah, such is this world that a man is condemned for his silver tongue and then condemned worse still when he falls silent! It seems I cannot win whatever I do," Astarion half-spoke, half-wailed theatrically, wiping away an imaginary tear.

That did it. Her face smoothed as Sima rolled her eyes at his antics.

"You are ridiculous."

"Well, you knew what you were getting into, my dear. I am a man of charm and whimsy."

"Just as advertised."

"Quite so."

The rest of the evening passed by in a blur, their group retiring for the night, the last of the lights extinguished and leaving the shared room in blessed darkness.

Astarion did not trance that night; he could not. So he watched his love as she rested. His eyes traced the curve of her lips, the softness of her cheeks, the way her lashes fluttered. Astarion wanted to touch Sima, but he didn’t dare, worried he would wake her. She needed to be strong and well-rested, for tomorrow they would defeat Cazador, and he would take his defeated master's place. Tomorrow would be the beginning of the rest of their lives.

He would go through with the rite. His ascension would be the start of their future. He would become untouchable. He would be a force to be reckoned with. Someone who could choose to have the whole world tremble before him in fear, yet he could just as easily be a benevolent, generous master.

And then they would have nothing to fear ever again.

Perhaps he wasn’t entirely truthful. But that would be the very last time. After all, what was a little white lie in the long run?

💖 Tag list 💖:

@ninty900, @ayselluna, @dajeong, @ravenswritingroom,

@misscrissfemmefatale,

@clazberryk, @anukulee,

@preciouslittlebhaalbae,

@sh3rl0ck, @mellowenthusiast2299,

@fleetstreet78, @starlight-rogue,

@obsessedwhyyes, @arzen9

[raingems-blog]

In Memoriam

Warnings: Grief, divorce, just angst

Summary: You spend one last time with Victoria before saying goodbye forever.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You had never imagined that you would lose Victoria in two ways. First, through divorce and then death. Both had been the hardest moments of your life, to say goodbye to the woman that you loved twice, with one being much more violent than the last had almost put you into a coma. Signing the divorce papers had gut-wrenching, but watching as her casket was gently lowered into the ground had ripped your heart out entirely.

You had both still loved each other through and through, but unfortunately, love just hadn't been enough to save your marriage at the time and evidently, her. She was stubborn, taking your warnings into quiet consideration but never quite mulling them over. Her need for power and security had taken precedence over your love for her, and it cost her everything.

To rub salt into the already festering wound, the two of you had been considering remarrying, your relationship having greatly improved since your untimely separation all those years ago. Zoe had been happy. You were going to be a family united once again, a broken home that would be repaired. The last thing you had excepted was for that home to forever remain fractured, a chasm separating you from the love you had so desperately craved.

You had gotten to be with her fully one last time before the casket had been wheeled out towards her celebration of life, being granted the privilege of doing her makeup in the way she would have done it, her standout red lip paired along with it. At first, it had been jarring to you how cold she felt, and instinctively, you had tried to warm her before stopping yourself. You had taken the time to talk to her as you gently placed the lipstick over her now chapped lips.

"Remember when we were planning where we'd remarry my love? We debated on whether it should be a full-out ceremony or if an intimate one at the courthouse would do. What I would give to marry you anywhere now."

You remembered when you used to do this for her, though, under more jovial circumstances. Oftentimes, before the divorce, you would sometimes do her makeup just before you two would head off to galas or events that had warranted a public appearance. Fixing her hair, her blazer, and fidgeting with the pin on her lapel before you two would head out the door.

Now, it was different. You would prepare her for her final public appearance to be gawked at by mourners who had gathered at the chapel. Famous figures, prominent politicians, and the likes of the people she had smoozed with in life were all gathered to pay their respects to.In truth, you dreaded seeing the pitying expressions on the faces of those in the crowd, all looking at you as though you were fragile as cracked glass.

The eulogy you had written contained the vows you would have exchanged for a day that would never come. You debated reading it first to her here in the intimacy of the room in the funeral home, speaking words to her that would never reach her ears. With a shaky hand, you took out the piece of paper tucked into your coat pocket and unfurled it to reveal the words carefully written on the page.

"Victoria, when I first laid eyes on you, I knew instantly that you would be mine. What a pleasure it had been to be right. Together, we built a home that I had first thought to be unshakeable roots. Unfortunately, that foundation on which we had built our lives on had cracks gone unseen and unattended to for so long. The once unshakeable home that we built had come crashing down around us, and for a while, it was dark. Picking up the pieces of our life left amongst the rubble had taken a strength that neither of us knew we possessed. For a while, I felt lost. I had thought for sure that we were solid, but with the layers of our problems now peeled back and laid bare before us, we were faced with the reality of our situation. Despite this, I knew that you would come back to me and I to you. Bit by bit the life we built together and started to take shape again and brick my brick we rebuit a new home, one that stood and a foundation solid without the cracks that plagued our past. With you, I have found a home again, a home that we filled with love and laughter, a home that we worked tirelessly to rebuild,"

You paused as the tears began to spill, hitting the words on the paper held tightly in your hands. You took a deep breath before continuing, collecting yourself enough to push forward despite the emotions violently swirled within you, threatening to overwhelm you and consume you whole.

"They say if you love someone, to let them go. And if they come back, they're yours. This statement rings true, as despite our years apart, you came back to me, and forever, I'll cherish you, never to let you go again." You carefully folded the pages of the paper before once again placing it back into the pocket of the coat your lost love had purchased.

Slowly, you blushed her cheeks, fixed her hair, and figeted with her the pins on the lapels of her blazer, one last time.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

I'm sorry, I had to repost it. My bad 😭

[cheolsfae]

can you do jay from enhypen as a boyfriend and his ideal type please?

His ideal type. Here is as a partner!

*Disclaimer: solely for fun! Please do not take this seriously. For entertainment purposes only!*

Past: 4 of wands, 9 of swords (reversed)

He might be someone who isn't really scared of losing the person to someone else. Not in like a toxic way. But more in like an "If they won't someone else will" type of vibe. He wants harmony in a connection and if it isn't equal give and take, he doesn't want it. He's very secure with who he is as a person. Someone from the past could have been projecting onto him their own insecurities and he doesn't want a repeat of that. He wants something more peaceful. Not more chaos than what once was.

Present: queen of cups, knight of pentacles, king of pentacles

He's very affectionate. He could like to give you things, maybe by you things. It might be his love language, present giving. It's how he shows you he cares about you. Doing little things for you could be another thing he does (because duh, we see that from the cameras) but I think it's more intimate when it's for a partner rather than for a friend/member. He's more reliant on what feels right for the person he's with. Does that make sense? Like he will follow with whatever type of love language the other person has and try his best to offer up that type of love as best he possibly can.

Future: temperance, ace of cups

He's very patient, he wants what's best for you. He's over filling with love for you. He wants a stable foundation, not something built from shakiness. Nothing weak, strong durable love. His soulmate to put it simply. He's a very romantic and loving person who deserves to have that same type of love given back to him. He'll have it one day, it's going to take time.

Bottom of the deck: 3 of pentacles

Again, he is someone with a give and take mentality. Someone willing to put in their half of work in the relationship. He's that kind of person. But he's willing to pick up some slack when he needs to just as he hopes his future partner to be. To work as a unit and not against one another!

*Oracle deck was also used!

[mskyrathefroggo]

Well it was sad to see Andrew go

But we got some things in Andrew’s twin brothers name is Simon which I guess is fitting

Andrew and Simon. Cute but it also made me think about Andrew life

Mostly about how sad it was and how Andrew had every right to be the villain can’t blame it on the edit

Andrew’s life is a cycle of betrayal, neglect, and pain, starting with his childhood. He was pushed into an academic rat race, losing the joys of a carefree childhood, while his achievements caused an unintentional rift between him and his twin brother. Instead of protecting or cherishing their children, his parents practically pitted them against each other. Then, when his brother needed them most—when he came out—they cast him out, leaving Andrew to shoulder the guilt of being the one they “chose” to keep. It’s such a cruel, isolating foundation to grow up with, and it’s worsened when you realize how powerless he was to protect the one person who understood him.

The grooming by his teacher is just another level of trauma layered onto an already shaky foundation. The betrayal by someone meant to guide and protect him, coupled with his parents’ complicity in covering it up, is beyond devastating. Andrew had to carry the weight of that abuse alone, realizing his parents were willing to sacrifice his well-being for status and connections. That level of betrayal could easily turn someone bitter and vengeful, yet Andrew somehow keeps moving forward.

His love life, rather than being a source of solace, reflects a series of heartbreaks and poor timing. Losing his first love, Isaac, who seemingly chose ambition over him, (but from Isaac’s perspective it was maybe to protect him) further deepened his sense of abandonment and inadequacy, given that Andrew didn’t want to hold him back. Then, when he finally opens himself up again, it’s in a deeply complicated relationship with Darling—his student. It’s morally and professionally wrong, and Andrew knows this, but the connection he feels is genuine. It’s the first time he allows himself to be vulnerable again, yet it results in public scandal, professional ruin, and further isolation. He tries to do the right thing by breaking it off to protect Darling, but it backfires, breaking them both.

Even his resignation feels like a pyrrhic victory—he’s free from the judgment and chaos of academia, but it’s at the cost of everything he’s worked for. The weight of that decision, to give up a career he built his entire life around, must have been enormous. He’s starting over with nothing but his partner and the hope of building a new life, and yet, you get the sense that he carries all that pain and self-doubt with him.

Andrew has lived through a relentless series of losses and betrayals. He’s been stripped of safety, trust, and love time and time again. If he had chosen to become bitter, cruel, or vindictive, it would have been entirely understandable. Instead, he strives to rise above it all, even if he stumbles along the way. That’s what makes his story so heartbreaking—he fights against the darkness in his life, even when it keeps trying to pull him under

[astroa3h]

❤️‍🔥 Bonnie and Clyde: & Their Toxic Synastry ❤️‍🔥

Venus Square Ascendant

In the whirlwind saga of Bonnie and Clyde, two souls entangled in a love as infamous as their escapades, their synastry chart shows passion, rebellion, and destiny intertwined. I want to start this series with the SQUARE between Bonnie's Venus in Virgo and Clyde's Gemini Ascendant. Let's jump in.

Clyde, with his Gemini Ascendant at 25 Degrees - an Aries Degree, lived life on the edge. Think of 25 Degrees as someone who lives life in the fast lane, rarely thinking of the consequences. This placement speaks volumes about his charisma, his restless spirit, and an insatiable desire for freedom. He was a man who could talk his way into or out of anything, a characteristic that made him both endearing and dangerous.

Bonnie, with her Venus in Virgo at 23 Degrees - an Aquarius Degree, loved in a way that defied norms. She found beauty in chaos, order in the unconventional. Her love for Clyde was not blind; it was visionary (at least in her mind, delusional much?). She saw beyond the criminal, the rebel, reaching for the soul who matched her unconventional thirst for life. This placement hints at a search for love that was as much about companionship and shared ideals as it was about romance.

Now we square these two placements off each other and we get a clash of titans, a square that shakes the foundation of what we would usually see in loving, healthy partnership. Their relationship was challenging, provoking, and ultimately transformative in the worst way. Clyde's Gemini Ascendant at an Aries degree brought an impulsive, dynamic energy that clashed with Bonnie's more analytical and unconventional Venus in Virgo. Yet, this very clash was what made their bond so intense, deep and NOTORIOUS. It was a love that said, "In the face of all logic, against all odds, here we stand."

This wasn't a partnership that thrived on mutual growth and support but rather one that was perpetually fueled by the drama of their criminal activities and the societal pressures that came with living outside the law. Their love story, stripped of its romantic gloss, reveals a harsher truth: a relationship built not on the solid ground of compatibility and shared values but on the shaky foundation of mutual infatuation with an idealized notion of rebellion and freedom.

xox astro ash ✨ Get your own Synastry Reading @ astroash.net TikTok - astroa3h

[xhoneygirlxx]

warnings: angst, no happy ending. heartbreak/end of a relationship. Eddie and Reader are 20+

minors plz go away, this account is 18+ only.

this is inspired by Nothings New by Rio Romeo, the same song that’s been stuck on repeat for the past couple of weeks. I hope you all enjoy this <3

*if you see spelling errors/bad writing, pretend it didn’t happen

—

You both knew it was coming, a thought in the back of your mind that constantly ate away at you until it finally came true. There’s a moment in life when you just know it’s not going to work out anymore, that no matter how much you love a person it all comes down to a spark and when that spark is gone, so is the relationship.

It’s like a sandcastle right on the shoreline, you wait with bated breath as the water inches closer and closer to your creation and there’s nothing you can do about it because you’ve built it on a bad foundation. It’s like a balloon, it can only fly so long before the helium seeps out, one day it’s high up in the sky and the next day it clings to the ground where it will stay before it eventually deflates.

You nor Eddie set out to end like this, no one gets into a relationship in the hopes it ends but somehow, you ended up right where you hoped you wouldn’t.

I love you’s weren’t shared as much anymore, sweet kisses turned into chaste pecks on the cheek, and the closeness you both craved was now despised. A long fall from the pedestal your relationship was once held upon, now it was just an obligation that felt torturous to even continue.

The dinner on the table is perfect, the kind you would find photographed in some kind of home and lifestyle magazine, but the two people consuming it are anything but. A date night that was supposed to be fun and exciting felt like a job, a requirement that both of you had signed on for that you just couldn’t get out of.

Eddie looks handsome as always, a sleek button up adorning his torso and unruly curls are tamed down by the products in the bathroom that both of you share. He cuts his steak with tattooed hands, the same silver rings he wore in high school decorate his digits as well as the one you bought him all those years ago when you first got together. You look at the thick black band, the engraved lettering of your initials that go across it, and you wonder if he only wears it out of habit- something he only wears on his right ring finger because he would feel unbalanced without it.

Despite the crowd that sits at neighboring tables, it’s quiet, and not the peaceful kind of silence most people would imagine. It’s the kind that happens after a car accident when dust and debris settle to ground, the sulfur from the airbags fill the air, and the ringing in your ears are too loud to hear through anything else.

You poke at your plate mindlessly as you continue to look at him, trying to piece together where it all went wrong and why the two of you have let it go this far. A bitter taste fills your mouth, one that can’t be washed down by the red wine that sits in your untouched glass, making a ball form in your throat.

As you look at the man across from you, you don’t see the person you’ve grown tired of but rather the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. Wide eyes and dimpled smile, rosy cheeks and shaky hands. Memories of shy banter and longing stares fill your head. Two young kids so full of love and adoration for one another now sit silently as they ignore one another’s presence.

Your heart squeezes, painfully twisting in a devastating way as it prepares for what’s going to happen. A tear escapes from your waterline and you don’t fight it. As much as you don’t want to be the dramatic girlfriend in the middle of a fancy restaurant you allow yourself to cry, mourning the death of a love story that started with two star cross teenagers that lost their way.

Although he isn’t looking at you Eddie can sense it, the beginning of the goodbye he’s tried desperately to avoid. He sets his fork and knife down, swallowing his food down as best as he can while his throat begins to choke up in unshed tears.

There’s a pause in his movements, a delay from looking into the eyes of the one he promised to love until his dying day. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, reaching his hand out across the table in search of your own. Fingers interlace, palms touching for the first time in a long time and for once you both feel it, the spark you used to feel when everything was fresh and new- only it doesn’t linger, it slowly blows out and fades away into the cold night air.

Big chocolate eyes meet yours, the tears that brim in his tear ducts match your own, the shared sadness for the future you will no longer share.

“This is it?” Eddie’s voice is small, like he’s straining in the hopes the sobs won’t break out.

You can’t stop it, the wobble of your pouted lip and the river that falls from your eyes. There’s no words you can say, none that will capture the amount of pain this brings to you, so instead you just nod your head.

Eddie isn’t any better, eyes closing with the hopes that this will all go away when he opens them once more. When he opens them back up he doesn’t find a different outcome but instead the blur of the fat tears that cloud his vision.

“You know I love you, right? I always have and always will love you Eddie, but this isn’t good for us anymore.” It’s like you’re pleading, begging for all of the misery to end for not just yourself but him too.

The subtle nod of his head tells you all you need to know, he agrees just as much as you that this isn’t going to work anymore, that this is killing him as much as it is you and if it continues this way it’ll only be a matter of time before this slow and painful death creeps up on you.

“I love you too, always have.” Eddie makes sure to look you in the eyes when he says it, like he wants you to know that everything that’s happened was never intentional.

You give his hand a squeeze, an acknowledgment to his statement, he squeezes right back.

This was the end, in the middle of a fancy restaurant where families, couples, and friends laugh and talk over warm meals, you and Eddie slowly cut the string that’s been keeping you tethered together for more than five years.

—

—

[thesunfyre4446]

“can you stop making alicent's relationship with her children about rhaenyra?” everything is about Rhaenyra to them because if they start viewing Alicent as her own character with her own goals and motivations then their ship falls apart.

Rhaenicent was built on a shaky foundation because it’s the only HotD ship that doesn’t even remotely exist in book canon. The writers are literally writing out of their asses so are constantly juggling this fanon pairing and George’s work. Their solution? To make Alicent a simpering doormat who Rhaenicents can project on.

i think that the problem is not with Rhaenicent as a ship. ship what you like! find your people and have fun - that's the whole point of fandoms.

the problem is when stans mix their own HC and ships with canon, and get angry at other people for not thinking like them. if you want to ship Rhaenicent with alicent abandoning her children in favor of rhaenyra - that's absolutely fine! but that's NOT canon. canon alicent does not exist for rhaenyra.

and the problem is that i never see any "rhaenyra abandons TB to join alicent" au \ fics, or "rhaenyra regrets how she treated alicent" takes. it's always alicent that's "in the wrong". it's alicent that has to apologize, it's alicent that hates her children \ or only loves them because they bear resemblance to rhaenyra. it's alicent that wants to abandon her children and join rhaenyra. this idea that alicent wants to serve rhaenyra is... yeah not my thing. my problem is not the ship, but the way some of the stans treat alicent and other alicent fans that don't think like them.

and yeah idk what's going on with the writers LMAO i mean yeah i def shipped young rhaenyra and alicent, but Rhaenicent after luke's death and B&C? no way. not for me thank you very much.

[diskaywrites]

Fluffvember 2024

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 #𝟐𝟒: 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮? 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐲 𝐱 𝐌𝐉𝐅 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟: 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐎𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐚, 𝐀𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐞

.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽..✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽..✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽..✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽..✽✦✽.◦.✽

Will Ospreay wasn't quite sure why he was standing outside the hotel room door of the man who had broken his heart on more than one occasion. Maybe part of it was his inability to pick up on social cues, but deep down he knew the truth. The truth of the matter was that Will loved the man the rest of the world called scum. From the smug smirk that crossed the others face to the better than you attitude, Will Ospreay knew that he loved Maxwell Jacob Friedman.

The two had met after their respective relationships had fallen through, both learning the bitter sting of betrayal from the men the loved. For Will, it was the fact that Kenny Omega had gone back on every promise of love as Kenny showed up at Wrestle Kingdom to take the championship that Will had worked so hard to get. That betrayal had come with the utterance of "I never loved you" as Kenny took the things that mattered the most. And for Max? Well, the shadow of the devil that was Adam Cole still loomed large in Max's life.

That meant that relationship Will had been trying to build once he realized exactly how he felt about Max was being built on a shaky foundation. No matter how many times the two seemed to move forward, something happened that set the two on opposite paths once more. Max seemed to pull away from Will any time they were about to confess their love. Will, on the other hand, seemed to shy and stuck on the fact that his last long term partner had never been capable of love. It was vicious dance between the two and that dance had led Will back to Max's door once more.

Will raised his hand and knocked on the door, gulping down a nervous breath. What if Max wasn't even here? What if he stood here outside the door knocking over and over again only for Max to see him from the elevators and just decide to leave? Will had just about given up on the knocking when the door creaked open to reveal the man who had stolen his heart long ago.

"Max...I..."

The smell of leather and musk coupled with the droplets of water that clung to Max's bare chest, letting Will know that the reason Max hadn't opened the door was because he was in the shower. Max, watching Will's eyes drop low before moving his gaze higher, gave a wicked smirk, "You came to gawk?"

Will cleared his throat sheepishly, but still couldn't meet the cold gaze of the other. Was it cold? The gaze that met Will when he finally managed to match it was...soft. Gentle. "I...I know I shouldn't be here. It's all I know, Max. That and...and that I love you. I should have told ya before, bruv, but I couldn't-"

Will's words were cut off as Max's strong arms wrapped around his midsection, pulling the Brit in for a tight hug. Will closed his eyes, not caring if they were in the hallway or not. The pressure of the one person who stilled his racing mind pressing against himself made Will's soft cornflower eyes fill with tears. He could barely hear the question Max posed over the hum of the hallway lights and the ding of the elevator, "You're not gonna let go of me, are you?"

"Not now, bruv," Will denied, pressing a kiss to the top of Max's head, "not ever."

[ts-wicked-wonders]

When Your Enemies Become Friends: The Art of Letting Them Align While You Keep Thriving

One of the most interesting (and sometimes amusing) things in life is watching people who dislike you suddenly become best friends—not because they genuinely like each other, but because they share a common dislike for you. It’s almost like a strange, unspoken alliance forms among those who wouldn’t have even acknowledged each other otherwise.

At first, it might sting. You might wonder why people are joining forces against you, gossiping, or moving in ways that seem designed to bring you down. But here’s the truth: their union has nothing to do with you—and everything to do with them.

Let’s talk about why this happens, why it’s not your problem, and why the best response is simply to keep being you.

1. When People Bond Over a Common Dislike

It’s a tale as old as time—people who don’t like you suddenly find kinship in their mutual negativity. Here’s why this happens:

• Misery Loves Company – People who carry bitterness or resentment often feel validated when they find someone else who shares their feelings. They bond over complaints, feeding off each other’s negativity.

• Insecurity Finds Comfort in Numbers – Some people don’t feel confident standing alone in their opinions, so they gather others to co-sign their dislike. It makes them feel stronger, even if their alliance is weak.

• You Represent What They Can’t Be – Sometimes, your confidence, success, or just the way you carry yourself is a reminder of what they lack. Rather than working on themselves, they’d rather bond over tearing you down.

• They Need a Villain – Some people simply need someone to blame for their own problems or dissatisfaction. If you don’t fit into their expectations, they turn you into the “bad guy.”

2. What Their Union Really Means

It’s easy to take it personally when you notice people rallying against you, but the reality is their behavior says more about them than it does about you.

• It’s Not About You—It’s About Them

People who align in negativity often have unresolved issues within themselves. Instead of focusing on their growth, they get comfortable in the illusion that their shared dislike makes them powerful.

• They’re Distracted While You’re Focused

While they spend their energy talking about you, thinking about you, and plotting against you, you’re over here living your life. They are focused on you while you are focused on thriving. Who really wins in that situation?

• Temporary Alliances Don’t Last

Most of these connections are built on shaky foundations. When their shared dislike is no longer enough to sustain the relationship, their true colors will show, and they’ll turn on each other.

• You’re a Powerful Presence

If people are coming together because of you—even in negativity—it’s because you hold weight. Your presence is felt. Your energy is strong. The fact that they have to align just to try to shake you says everything.

3. What’s the Best Response?

So what do you do when you notice your “haters” forming alliances? Absolutely nothing.

• Let Them Talk. Their words don’t define you. As long as you know who you are, the opinions of people who don’t even respect you are meaningless.

• Keep Winning. The best revenge is success. Keep moving forward, growing, glowing, and being exactly who you are.

• Never Drop to Their Level. Avoid engaging in drama. If they’re plotting and gossiping, let them. You have better things to do.

• Remember, They’re Not Your People. The people meant for you—your real tribe—would never need to join forces to hate on someone else.

4. Final Thoughts: Keep Being You

At the end of the day, when people who don’t like you come together, it’s because they need each other to feel strong—while you stand strong on your own.

Their alliance isn’t a reflection of your weakness; it’s a reflection of their need for validation.

So let them have their little meetings, their group chats, their whispered conversations. While they waste time forming alliances in negativity, you’re out here growing, thriving, and living your best life.

Because at the end of the day, you don’t need a team to be powerful—you just need to be yourself.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Well -Built

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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Psalm 1:2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Luke 6:46 “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say?

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM FOCUSED ON GOD

I AM LOVING JESUS

I AM NOT ALONE

I AM OBEDIENT

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READ TIME: 7 Minutes & 35 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

======================

    A lot of times, we don’t see that what we are doing is affecting our relationship with God; we just see that what we are doing is making us happy, and that’s all we want to do is be happy, right? I have been in a place where I did not care who I hurt or who I made angry. I just wanted to make myself happy, and if I did that, that was enough for me.   

     When I gave my life to God, the Holy Spirit showed me that it was the wrong way to be , that I needed to be a different, and I needed to be obedient; obedience was hard to do because when I did everything I wanted, I had peace ( at least thought what I was feeling was peace )  and sometimes when I did what God wanted it was no peace, and it was only like that because I wasn't fully committed into what God asked me to.

  Today's word says, why do we call him lord when we don’t do what he says? A lot of times, we call him father, we call him teacher, and other names. Still, we don’t listen to or do what he says, and God sometimes tells us to do hard things. Still, he is trying to let us now that when we follow him, it's going to be tough, when we do what he wants, it's going to be tough, but as long as you follow him, he’s going to be there every step of the way, we can't call him lord if we aren’t ready to change, we can't call him lord if we are not going to listen to him.

  Verse 47-48: I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and follows it. 48 It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well-built.

  When we have troubles in our life, and we have followed God, we can stand; it's not saying things won't be shaky, but his word says we will be firm and won't break because we are standing on the rock. He is the rock a lot of us are going through. We are breaking because we haven't listened to him speak to us. I have had some hard years, but the years I have had with him have been the best of my life. It was only significant when I followed, and I'm not going to say I didn’t have those days where I wanted to do what I wanted, and I did, but those days were tough because I wasn’t listening to him. When we listen to him, we will stand firm, and nothing can separate us from him because we are listening to him.

 Verse 49: but anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like someone who builds a house right on the ground, without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.”

 When I didn’t listen to him, it felt like I was fighting against everything because I was doing what I wanted; we have to understand the road isn’t easy because we do what we want no way; the road gets more challenging because we are disobeying God, we don’t have a foundation, everything will feel like its collapsing because it is, we aren’t holding his hand we aren’t even trying to either, God wants us to hold his hand in it all and we must do that.

   The foundation we build with God will always stand, but when we stop reading our word and stop praying, the foundation starts to crack because we aren’t building with God anymore; we are building with other things. We pour our time into the word, read it, and pray we are making time for God; the word says that I hide the word in my heart so that I might not sin against thee. To hide the word, we must read it and apply it, but if we spend most of our days doing what we want, we fill our eyes with hours of TV, and we aren’t even trying to spend time with God; how do you think our foundation is going to stand it isn’t.

 Psalm 119:15-16 I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

  It tells us here the psalmist wanted to meditate; he wanted to think about God's precepts; it wasn’t like he did it because God word says to no friends; he did it because he drew him closer to God; our foundation can’t stand if we don’t have a desire, some of us only do what God says because he said it, not because our heart is in it, where is your heart? What does it say?? We must reconsider our ways sometimes, and I know a lot of times we are going to want to do what God says, but when we see that his ways are better, we should follow him and know that whatever we go through, we will come out on the other side.

  *** Today, we discussed a foundation, and God is the head of our lives; we must understand that when we have a life full of repetitive sin, we haven’t truly allowed our word to be applied to our lives. We have allowed sin to come in and take over. The more we read our word, we will have a sturdy foundation. We have a chance every day to read our word and pray, but the more we pick and choose everything else to do instead of spending time with God, the more we will lose our foundation.

  Verse 10I: seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

 The psalmist says I seek you with all my heart, not some parts, but ALL my heart he said do not let me stray from your commands; a lot of us won’t even care if we stray away because we are doing what we want. Still, when we truly care about God and want that strong foundation, we will seek him, read our word, pray, and be obedient. If you feel your foundation is shaky, ask God to help you, focus on him, and change your heart.

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, we thank you for today; we ask you to be with us and to change who we are; help us to focus on you and not our ways, lord we ask you to forgive us of the sins we have done, lord let us not stray away from your commands help us to want to follow you and have the desire to serve you . Lord, we give you our days and time, we ask you to show us where in our day can we fit you in lord we love you so much, and we thank you please help us to apply this devotion to our lives in Jesus Name Amen

======================

REFERENCES

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+ Psalm 37:31 The law of his God is in his heart; his steps do not slip

 

+ Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

 

+ Psalm 40:8 I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.”

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 27

1 Corinthians 7

Revelation 4

Hebrews 1

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[beanghostprincess]

(Different anon but still on the same wavelength of Usopp Yasopp Franky)

I think that the most interesting thing about Usopp and Franky’s relationship is their foundation of forgiveness and atonement. They eventually find common ground, they realize they’re so much more similar than they are different, they both deal with their pride in opposite but reflective ways. I don’t think Franky ever really puts what he did to usopp fully behind him, but he has to keep moving forward regardless (Self forgiveness being one of his major character themes).

And I don’t think that side of the story will ever really get conveyed to Yasopp, but I do think the moral would be. If anyone understands deeply Usopp’s capacity to forgive, it’s franky. But I can also see him making a comment to Yasopp that it’s a two way street and takes work and effort to fix things on his end as well.

Sogeking gets to be this like, distillation of the vague idea of Yasopp built up in Usopp’s head. But he’s also never come back from sniper island because he doesn’t need to. Usopp gets to form his new identity, his own identity, not based on what his utility to other people are but what he likes.

That’s all to say that he’d be shaky and a little less confident telling his dad about all the inventions and machines, but then they’d spend like five hours in the gardens talking carnivorous plants or something.

This is so true. I just woke up so I'm not sure if I'll be able to expand this idea tbh but I think you said everything I wanted to say, anyway. I love Franky and Usopp's bond for the same reasons. I really hope we get to see Yasopp bonding with his son too :(

[bwhitex]

Dating Authentically: Embracing Yourself Without Apologies

In the world of modern dating, we are often confronted with a myriad of "dos and don'ts" that can make navigating romantic relationships feel like walking through a minefield. From playing hard to get, to presenting a polished version of ourselves on social media, the pressure to conform to societal standards of attractiveness and desirability is immense. But what if the key to successful dating isn't about moulding ourselves into a 'perfect' partner but rather, about embracing our true selves, flaws and all? In this blog, we'll delve into why being authentic is crucial in dating and how psychological principles support this approach.

The Psychology of Authenticity

Carl Rogers, a pioneer of humanistic psychology, taught us about the importance of being genuine. He argued that for personal growth, we must have an environment that provides us with genuineness (openness and self-disclosure), acceptance (being seen with unconditional positive regard), and empathy (being listened to and understood). When these conditions are present, individuals can develop a greater capacity to accept themselves and understand their feelings, which is a cornerstone of meaningful relationships.

In dating, this means showing up as our true selves. The façade of being who we think our date wants us to be can only lead to relationships built on shaky foundations. It's like constructing a building on sand—eventually, the truth will come out, and things may crumble.

Self-Compassion: Your Dating Superpower

Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion also provides insight into dating authentically. By treating ourselves with kindness, acknowledging our common humanity, and being mindful of our imperfections, we set the stage for healthier and more honest relationships. Dating with self-compassion means we don't beat ourselves up after a date that didn't go well or obsess over our faults.

When we date with self-compassion, we're less likely to tolerate bad behavior from others because we know we deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. We also apologize less for being ourselves—whether that means owning our quirky laugh or not hiding our love for geeky hobbies.

The Detriment of the Apology

In many dating scenarios, there's an underlying pressure to apologize for our preferences, opinions, and even our personality traits. This is where we need to draw a line. Apologizing for being late to a date is considerate, but apologizing for your taste in music, your career choice, or your sense of humor is unnecessary and counterproductive. It undermines your self-worth and sends a message that you're not confident in who you are.

The truth is, a partner that's truly compatible with you will appreciate your idiosyncrasies and the unique blend of traits that make you, you. They won't want your apologies; they'll want your authenticity.

Embracing Vulnerability

Vulnerability is another concept that's crucial in dating. Dr. Brené Brown's research has shown us that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a profound strength. When we allow ourselves to be seen, truly seen, we open the door to real connection.

In the context of dating, this means having the courage to express our feelings, desires, and fears. It's about being honest about what we're looking for in a relationship, whether it's something casual or a life-long partnership. It's about having the difficult conversations about values, boundaries, and needs.

Conclusion: The Unapologetic Path to Love

The path to love should not be paved with apologies for our very essence. While compromise is a necessary part of any relationship, it should never involve compromising on being yourself. As we navigate the dating world, let's remember the words of Carl Rogers and the importance of being in an environment that allows us to be our true selves.

So, go on that date. Be unapologetically you. Laugh too loudly, share your love for obscure indie films, and talk about your dreams and passions. The right person will adore you for it, and you'll be building a relationship on the solid ground of authenticity.

Remember, in the grand scheme of your love story, the most important person to fall in love with first is you. When you do that, you won't feel the need to apologize for being who you are—and that's when you'll attract someone who loves you for you.