#the localization definitely did eddie justice

[zonaraze]

i love this man

[justmeinadaze]

Can I request a steddie fix basically it’s the end of season 4 where reader is saying Eddie and they’re really in love and he does in the upside down and Steve has to like drag her out. Then maybe something happens in the future where Steve comforts her and then end up sleeping together and dating and then maybe they figure out how to get back into the upside down and Kas Eddie/Eddie ( who survived ) see them together and gets jealous and yeah whatever from there :)

I hope I did you justice! :)

Mine (Vampire Eddie X Y/N)

Warnings: Vampire Eddie X Human Fem Reader, SMUT, of the rougher variety between Eddie and Y/N, biting (of course), mentions of drinking blood on both sides, brief mentions of intimacy between Steve and reader, ANGST, Reader dreams of Eddie's death multiple times, Eddie is definitely jealous and possessive especially at first. mentions of events in the show, mentions on grief and the pain of losing a partner (feeling numb, lost).

Word Count: 3246

“No! No, Steve, please!”

“Y/N, we can’t stay here! We have to go back!”

“We can’t leave him here! Please! I love him!”

You bolt upright in your bed, screaming Eddie’s name as the upside down faded around you and your room fully came into view. 

It had only been a few months since your battle with Vecna but the nightmares were still consistent. It played out the same every time. Eddie riding away from you with one of the bikes that had been abandoned out front. You catching up to him just as the bats were swarming him. You trying to fight with him only to be pinned down as well. Hearing the sound of his screams as they bit into him while you waited for your turn.

Just as you were about to be their next meal, the storm dissipated and there was a loud crashing thud as the bats fell from the sky. You crawled over to him and tenderly turned his face to meet yours as you watched him struggle through the pain. 

“Baby…baby, please. I love you so much. Just hang on, ok?”

“Okay.” His eyes scanned over you as his shaky fingers caressed the reddening skin around your neck. “Idiot.”, he chuckled, coughing on his blood.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot.”, you forced a smile.

“Mine.”, he whispered with a smile of his own.

The gang found you guys like that and you begged Steve to save him, to bring him back with you but he couldn’t. They didn’t have the strength to carry all of you through. The girls helped maneuver Dustin while Steve lifted you in his arms. 

“STEVE! NO!! NO PLEASE!”

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry.”, he cried. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Rising to your feet, you shuffle into the bathroom and get ready to begin your day. 

***

Every day since your boyfriend Eddie Munson had died felt like it dragged on into eternity without him there to make you laugh or smile. You missed his corny jokes or his passion when he would tell you about a D&D campaign he was working on. You constantly felt like you were living in a trance, walking around on autopilot as you did your job at the local Hawkins market before heading home to curl up in bed where you would put on one of his shirts and cry yourself to sleep. You prayed you would dream about his arms wrapped around you or his soft kisses and whispers of adoration that warmed your heart but every night the dream remained the same. 

“Hey honey.”

“Shit.”, you jumped as you dropped the stock you were holding. “Steve, I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”

“No, no. It’s ok. I should have cleared my throat or something. You seemed kind of lost in thought.”

“Yeah…I always am these days. I just—”

“You miss him. I understand that.”, he sighs as he bends down to help pick up some of the boxes that had fallen from your grasp. “Dustin misses him to. Today I went over to his place and he tried to explain some of his nerdy game to me. It just, woooo, went right over my head.”, he chuckles before offering you a soft smile. “But I’m trying, ya know.”

“You’re a good man, Steve Harrington.”

“Y/N, I was thinking, how much do you know about Eddie’s game?”

“Dungeons & Dragons? Oof Not enough to actually play but he always explained it to make sense.”, you giggle at the memory. 

“Do you want to maybe come over or I can come to you and you can just give me a quick rundown? That way Dustin and I can play.”

“Um… yeah. I don’t see why not. I get off at about 7.”

***

The two of you giggled as Steve poured you another glass of whiskey while you tried going over the information you gave him again. 

“Ok so if Kas is a vampire then why did Max make fun of me when I thought Vecna was?!”

“Because at the time, goof, we didn’t know what he was. Plus, if he was a vampire we’d see more of the people we lost.” Your mood shifts as the realization of what you said sunk in. “Eddie always liked Kas… I think he used him in that last campaign he did with Hellfire. They thought Kas had killed Vecna but he was still alive. Well, till the team finished him off. I mean Lady Applejack.”, you smile as you take a sip of your beverage. 

“Lady Applejack?”

“Erica.”

“Oh. I like that. That’s cute.”, Steve grins. “Did you have a name?”

“Eddie always said I was Y/N the Devine. My character would be an oracle who could see the future.”, you laughed. “He always thought it was funny I could remember all my dreams. He said if anything ever happened to him…he’d talk to me through them.”

Placing his drink on the table, the man beside you collects you into his strong arms as you sob. 

“It’s ok, Y/N. Everything’s ok.”

“I miss him so much, Steve.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I couldn’t get him back to you.”

Wiping your eyes, you lean back as you sigh, scanning the man over as he reached for his glass and chugged back what was left inside. Drunk on the liquor and your grief, you didn’t think twice as your palm grasped Steve’s chin, turning him to face you, and crashing your lips to his. 

“Y/N…Y/N wait. W-What are you doing?”, he breathed as he hovered near your mouth, his hand petting your head as he moved your hair away from your face. 

“I’m sorry. I just…I just wanted to feel something other then my pain for once. I’m sorry, Steve.”

Lifting you in his arms, he carried you to his bedroom, and made love to you till you both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

***

Your eyes shot open at the sound of thunder, red lightening briefly illuminating the sky before it disappeared behind the black clouds. You could still feel Steve’s arms around your hip but something wasn’t right. His room seemed darker and grungier than when you fell asleep. 

As your gaze shifted around taking everything in, you were startled by a figure at the end of the bed. 

“E-E-Eddie?”

His long hair was blocking most of his face but you could just barely make out his lips formed into a thin line. His outfit was torn and caked in blood where the bats had bit into him. A low growl left his throat before he turned around and slowly left the room. 

Quickly, you threw off the covers, grabbing one of Steve’s shirts and throwing it over your head as you followed him down the stairs. When you turned a corner into the kitchen, he was suddenly gone.

“Eddie? Baby, where are you?”

In the blink of an eye, a hand grabbed your arm, turning you around roughly and pinning you to the wall. You panicked for only a moment, reaching out to caress his face.

“I-It’s me, baby. Do you remember? Y/N?!” As you began to cry, his hand released you just long enough to dry you tears with his fingers. “I miss you so much. Sometimes…sometimes I wish I had died with you.”

Snaking his palm to the back of your head, his thumb was still long enough to run along your bottom lip.

“Mine.”

Your eyes shot open as you began to scream, scaring Steve awake as he tried to calm you. 

“Y/N! It’s ok! Everything’s ok! You’re safe, honey…you’re safe.”, he cooed as he held you to his chest. 

“He…he…he was here, Steve. Eddie was here. I saw him. He was right here in your room.”

“Y/N, it was just a dream. You’re alright.”

“No! No…”, you cried as you jumped out of bed and flew down his stairs. Your eyes scanned his kitchen but everything was as it had been last night. When you turned back around you were met with concerned honey eyes. “I’m not crazy, Steve! I swear…I could feel him. He was so cold and he smelled metallic like blood. We have to go back.”

“What? Y/N, no.”, the man said sternly as he grabbed your arm. After glaring at his hand, he immediately let you go but hurriedly followed after you as you ran back up the stairs to get your clothes. “You can’t go there alone.”, he sighed as he began getting put together as well. 

“Steve, I’ll be fine—”

“This isn’t a debate, Y/N. If you insist on going back there then I’m going with you.”

############

The sound of Eddie’s old trailer door squeaked loudly as Steve cautiously pulled it open. Wayne had been moved to a new place a long time ago and the people at the lab had long abandoned this place, closing down the park as a whole so no one would come this way. Of course, that didn’t stop some of the high school kids from sneaking in and spray painting “FREAK” on the side under his window.

You glanced around the dark interior as memories flashed through your mind, his bedroom door still open as if waiting for its occupant to return home. You actually hadn’t been in his room since he was on the run. A strong urge coursed through you to go look but you pushed it down as you watched Steve grab a chair and hoist himself through the hole in the ceiling before falling on his feet on the other side. 

“Wait there ok? I’ll take a look and if I find anything I’ll come get you.”

You nodded silently praying as he disappeared.

***

Bat drawn, Steve slowly opened the trailer door and maneuvered down the steps. With just a quick glance everything looked the same as they had left it a few months ago. Breaking into a sprint, he ran to where he knew Eddie’s body would be. Hell, he had nightmares to of your screams when they pried your hand from the metalhead’s. He blamed himself constantly but he didn’t know how to make it up to you. 

Was there a way to make up for something like that?

He always saw you on his way to work as you stocked shelves in the front window of the market. Your eyes that were once so full of life seemed empty now. When you told him last night you just wanted to feel something, he desperately wanted to help. You clung to him so tightly after every orgasm he gave you, as if he too would be gone when the pleasant feeling ended. 

Steve couldn’t help but wonder if you would allow him to take you on a proper date. You were always so kind to everyone and extremely beautiful. It didn’t surprise him that Eddie was drawn to you. He didn’t want you to feel like he used you last night just because the opportunity arose. He genuinely wouldn’t mind getting to know you better and maybe the two of you could heal together. 

As his feet skidded to a stop, Steve’s eyes widened as he looked around. 

The makeshift shield and weapon he and Henderson had made were laying haphazardly on the ground next to where Eddie’s body should have been but was now vacant.

“Y/N.”, he whispered, running back towards the trailer. 

***

Steve said to stay put but it wouldn’t hurt for you to look around his room. You of all people knew it wasn’t very far from the living area. 

Memories hit you like a ton of a bricks; a montage of a life you no longer had or would have. 

“Eddie! Stop!”, you giggled as he pretended to nibble on your neck. “That feels weird.”

“You’re weird! It’s supposed to be sexy, sweetheart.”

You smile as he stands in the middle of his room playing his guitar while obnoxiously singing in your direction. 

“I can see what you're looking for I know what you want from me.”

Eddie bends down till his face is just inches from yours and your smile widens. 

“And I'm gonna give you more

I'm gonna slide it in, right to the top Slide it in, I ain't never gonna stop.”

“You’re a pervert you know that?!”

“I love you to!”

Your fingers gently trace his tattoos including the one he had just gotten fairly recently of your name near his heart while Eddie played with your hair. You wanted to do the same but you knew your mom would kill you if she ever found out you got a tattoo. 

“What are you thinking about, babe?”

The metalhead takes a long drag of his cigarette before squishing it in the nearby ashtray. 

“I’m going to graduate this year, princess. Once I get that fucking diploma, I’ll get a good job so we can move into our own place and I can take care of you.”

As you tilt your head to look up him, he does the same and leans down to kiss your lips. 

“Then we’ll get married and pop out a bunch of kids.”

“Oh?”, you laugh as he holds you tighter. “You’re just excited to make them but you won’t be pushing them out!”

The tears started to fall as you slowly took everything in, walking towards his closet, and allowing your fingers to graze his clothes. Everything still smelled so much like him and it killed you. 

“Y/N?!”

You head turned at the sound of Steve shouting your name and you hastily ran to the hallway, freezing when you realized you saw a figure staring up into the gate, smirking. As his head fell back down, Eddie’s smile faded as his eyes met yours. 

“Am…Am I dreaming again?”

Moving in a blur, you were abruptly lifted off your feet and slammed down hard onto the mattress with him on top of you pinning your wrists. Almost like a feral animal, he pressed his nose to your neck before sniffing along your cheek up to your hair. 

“Mine.”, Eddie growled. 

“Always.”, you replied in fear at this new behavior. “I’ve always been yours.”

“LIAR!”, he shouts making you jump. 

“No! No, Eddie. Wh-what happened with Steve and I…I was the first time. I swear. I ju-just wanted to feel something. I’ve been so numb since I lost you. I thought about you every day!”

Your boyfriend continued glare at you with angry vacant eyes that broke your heart.

“Do you even remember me?” When he doesn’t respond, you push against his hold on one of your hands and to your surprise he lets it go. Pulling at the collar of his shirt, you point to your name along his skin. “Y/N. That’s me, baby.”

Lifting your shirt, you exposed the new tattoo of his name you had gotten on your heart a week after he died. He blinked a couple of times as if trying to gather his thoughts or even gather as many memories as he could. His cold fingers caressed the ink making you shudder as palm grazed your breast. 

Something that looked like recognition flashed through his eyes before they darkened once more and he pinned you back down against his bed. 

“Mine.”

Aggressively, he rips your shirt causing you to groan as his tongue licks up your chest to your throat. Your legs clasp around his waist as he grinds against your center while your hips begin to roll to meet his movements.  

“Mine…”, Eddie murmurs one last time before you feel something sharp break the skin on your neck. 

“Ah! E-Eddie…what are you…fuck…”

The man’s large palm holds your head still as slurping sounds fill your ears. Your body suddenly feels like it’s on fire and the only thing that can ease the burn is him. Reaching between you two, you fumble with his belt and push down his pants before doing the same with your own. He grunts into your neck as you guide him into your entrance, his pace promptly setting at hard and rough. 

“Yes, baby, please. Fuck, you feel so fucking good. I missed you so much.”

“Mmm—Y/N.”

Tears flooded your face at the sound of him saying your name and abruptly clung to your back as he flipped over placing you on top of him. After lifting off his shirt, he slashed his nail along your name on his flesh and forcefully yanked your lips to the wound. 

“Princess…mine. You…drink.”

Eddie mewled as your tongue collected some of the dark blood that had fallen down his chest and his grip on your head loosened as he ran his fingers through your hair. As you began to drink from him, your hips began to bounce allowing his cock to punch into the sensitive spot inside you driving you crazy. 

“Fuck…pretty girl. That’s…it.”

A loud crashing sound echoed from living room but it didn’t phase either of you as Eddie began thrusting upward to meet your movements. 

“Y/N.”, Steve winced as he hobbled into the room. 

Shakily, he reached for your arm but just as his fingers touched your bicep, you came off Eddie  with a pop and violently pushed the boy’s chest, hurtling him onto the floor near the closet. 

“Mine.”, you snarled, baring a new set of fangs that frightened Steve in his place.

The metalhead chuckled as he swiveled you back to face him, passionately kissing your lips as he pounded up into you. Your body trembled as you both climaxed together; just how you were meant to be…together. 

Panting, you fell to his side and began to whine as your body curled into a ball. Eddie sat up and swung his feet over the edge before reaching for the long abandoned pack of cigarettes on his nightstand and lighting the end. 

“What did you do to her?”, Steve murmured as he listened to you moan in what sounded like pain. 

The metalhead glanced in your direction before taking a drag of the smoke in his hand. 

“I made her mine forever.”

“You…you’re hurting her…”

“Hmm nah. Baby girl is just hungry. Would you like to ease her pain, Stevie? Seems like something you’re interested in now a days.”

“I don’t want to be whatever you are.”

“Trust me, you won’t be. We need you as is anyway for what’s about to happen.”

“Wh-What’s about to happen?”

Smirking, Eddie tapped your hip and you rolled over, sliding to the floor, and crawling slowly over to him. 

“Please…hungry.”, you begged with wide eyes. “Hurts.”

Clenching his jaw, Steve rolled up his sleeve and offered you his wrist which you gladly accepted as you brought it to your lips and curled up in lap. The boy grunt as you fed, leaning his head against the wall so he could glare at Eddie. 

“He’s alive, Steve. I can feel it.”

“Who is?”

Taking another drag of his cigarette, he sighs in slight annoyance that he even has to tell him. Sliding on to the floor as well, he places himself right in front of him, and pries your teeth from his arm. With a small, content smile, you lean your forehead into Steve’s neck and fall into the most peaceful sleep you had had in months. Eddie grins softly as he caresses your cheek before meeting the other man’s eyes with a stern look of his own. 

“Vecna.”

############### Eddie Asks

[riddleboxdude]

Wait a Minute- Dating?

Repost from my AO3!

Character: Young Justice Riddler

Summary: You invite Edward to discuss your relationship, things take an absurd turn.

This is a take on the “Didn’t know they were dating trope”.

——————————————Start——————————————-

You had asked him if he wanted to go out with you a week ago. You were surprised to see him not as flustered as you thought he would be. He had smiled at you when he answered. You practically melted. You had gone to a local cafe, you both hadn’t really dressed up much but it meant a lot to you. You loved spending time with him.

As the week progressed you started to get a little frustrated, maybe he had wanted to take it slow? You had not held hands or kissed yet. You had already hugged him many times, it was the only real change besides your more frequent adventures together. You figured that you’d have to talk it out sometime.

You were both in your house. He was on the couch so you plopped down next to him. Your thighs were touching his, he went a little red. You leaned closer to his face and booped his nose, “What’s wrong?” He flusteredly mumbled, “nothing.” You thought for a moment and smiled at your genius idea. You stood up, “Wanna get ice cream? I haven’t had any in forever!”

You knew that he would agree, he always did. “Yea, I haven’t had any in a while either,” he looked a little nervous. You weren’t sure why, after all you were dating. You assumed that he wasn’t used to people being forward. After what felt like an excruciating 10 minutes that had you wishing the ice cream teleported to you, you both had made it to the cute themed ice cream shop. You admitted that you were a bit dramatic about the walk but it slipped your mind as you excitedly dragged him in.

He yelped, “Hey! Warn me next time.” You just laughed as you looked at the menu. He huffed saying something about his genius. You shoved the menu in his face after seeing your favorite ice cream, “Look! They actually have it this time!” You saw the corners of his mouth upturn before he could hide it. He looked back to his menu.

You both were half way through your ice cream before realizing you had forgotten the reason you had even taken him to the place. You shifted forward a little clearly, nervous, “Hey, Eddie?” He stopped eating and looked like he was about to panic, “Yea?” You tried your best to seem unaffected, “Well I was just wondering, we’ve been dating for a week but we haven’t kissed or held hands, are you wanting to take things slow?”

He went bright red and sputtered out, “Wait a minute- dating? Is that why-“ Your nervousness became utter confusion at the absurd situation, “What? Eddie, I literally asked you if you wanted to go out.” You were kind of embarrassed, you had told your friends that you started dating him. He was flailing and clearly embarrassed, “I’m so sorry! I really am! I didn’t think you meant it like that! We can start over, I didn’t know that you liked me too!” He was definitely trying to form a coherent plea but that was all that you could make out of it, he clearly thought you would hate him.

Hearing the part that he liked you gave you enough courage to finally say, “Alright Eddie, let’s start over. Will you be my boyfriend?” He smiled his sweet little smile, “Yea.” This was going to be a hell of a story to tell later.

[kafka-ish]

how to be a heartbreaker | b.d.

y/n wants to get her crush to notice her but she has no idea how. luckily, beverly comes to her with some valuable advice.

word count: 2,845

warnings: fem!reader

request: (from anonymous) “hiii! could i request a fic for bill denbrough where the reader is very flirty with everyone in the losers club and bill is flustered whenever she flirts with him? i was thinking that w/n could be like the female richie just more tame haha. ty!”

a/n: i was so excited to receive this request as it was my first one !! i hope i did it justice. 

-

y/n didn’t always wear tight tops and make cheeky comments. 

That’s why Bill was so surprised when she arrived at the quarry in a skirt so short, he could the lace peeking from her underwear when she bent down, and a smart mouth almost identical to Richie’s. But Bev smirked to herself as she watched the scene unfold, remembering how y/n had come to her last weekend, asking for help. 

“Who do you like?” Beverly’s question was innocent, yet somehow it managed to make y/n’s skin crawl and her throat turn to cotton. 

“What makes you think I like anyone?” y/n’s fingers absentmindedly began to pick at the purple comforter neatly draped across the twin sized bed she was perched on. 

“Can I guess?” Beverly ignored y/n’s previous statement and eagerly began listing names. “Is it Matt from gym? Or Cameron from chemistry? If you like Cameron I can see why... That blond hair and smirk can really do things to a girl.” 

“No.” y/n laughed at her friend’s guesses; more so at how far off she was. “It’s neither of them.”

“Then who is it?” Beverly turned around in the vanity chair she was sitting in, in order to get a better read on y/n’s features. That’s when y/n knew her friend was persistent on learning her crush. 

“It’s Bill.” The words left y/n’s mouth in a whisper, but Beverly didn’t need her friend to repeat herself to pick up on what she was saying. 

“Bill Denbrough?” Bev’s voice raised an octave. “Why haven’t you made a move yet? You see him practically everyday!”

“Well, I...” y/n took a moment to readjust herself. She stretched out on Beverly’s bed; each limb reaching each corner of the mattress. She stared at the ceiling which was covered in glow in the dark sticky stars. They’d been there since Beverly was five. She had intentions of removing them, but the adhesive stuck horribly. Beverly also didn’t want to risk ruining part of the building’s architecture since her family was renting it out. And if she did, her dad would do more things than just yell at her. 

“You what?” 

“How am I supposed to make a move?” y/n groaned. Beverly could tell this was something that upset her. “I freak out whenever I’m left alone with him. Hell, even when I’m just sitting next to him. I can’t find the right words to say... Or any words for that matter.”

“You and Bill have that in common,” Beverly said. It was a cheap shot at Bill’s stutter. But she should’ve known y/n was above laughing at something her crush couldn’t control. “Why don’t you just feign confidence?” Beverly’s helpful for once suggestion became of interest to y/n. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Richie does it all the time.” y/n heard a snort coming from the other side of the room. “Just... You know, pretend.” 

“How am I supposed to conjure up some alter ego if I can’t even conjure up some simple hello.” Of course y/n was a skeptic to the idea. But it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?

“That’s exactly why you need to do this!” Beverly countered. She couldn’t seem to contain her excitement at the thought of playing matchmaker with her friends. “We can start with a new wardrobe.” Beverly jumped into bed with y/n and her eyes trailed down to the girl’s figure. She was silently judging her friend’s outfit and y/n didn’t know if she should feel offended or uncomfortable. “We’ll go shopping tomorrow.” 

Their shopping haul consisted of mainly crop tops, skinny jeans, and some of the shortest skirts y/n’s ever seen. Beverly picked out a blue ruffled skirt that barely covered her butt when she leaned over and a plain white crop top to match. 

“You have to wear that when we all go to the quarry!” Beverly said over the phone (it was more of an order than a friendly opinion). 

Nonetheless, she did.

y/n was the last to show up at the quarry; wanting to make a big entrance. It was big alright. She greeted every one of the boys with a kiss on the cheek and a grin wide enough to stick an orange slice in.

“It’s been so long, you guys!” Only enthusiasm could be detected from her voice. y/n sat down on a rock next to Eddie and ruffled his hair which he quickly patted down afterwards. 

“It’s only been a day,” Stan deadpanned. But who was he to burst the bubble of newfound elation coming from his usually reserved friend? 

“A day that’s been far too long!” Her eyes playfully rolled to the back of her head and she leaned forward to boop Stan on the nose. “So, are we getting in the water or what?” She stood up, allowing for a showcase of her long legs and started to strip. 

“You got that right, doll.” Richie whistled as y/n’s shirt hit the ground. Off came his shirt, too; the rest of the Losers following suit. 

y/n was the first to make a splash. She cannon-balled into the water, giving the boys a full view. A second whistle was about to reach Richie’s lips, but Bill stopped him. 

“Yo-you know, in uh-other places th-that’d be illegal.” His tongue stuck on the “L” sound in illegal for a while. 

“Good zing we arrren’t in other places.” Richie had been trying out his new “comrade” accent for the past week but no one else in the group except him was impressed. Bill, especially, was not impressed and shoved Richie into the water. “I’ll get you for this!” He yelled immediately after being able to come up for air. Though Bill couldn’t hear him. He was already already making his debut into the water. 

“Hey cutie,” y/n said, swimming up from behind him as he landed. He was taken aback at the words that had left her mouth and frankly so was she. 

“H-hi, y/n.” Goosebumps materialized on his arms, legs, and chest, and Bill didn’t know if it was because of how cold the water felt, or the recent effect y/n had on him. 

y/n giggled at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. “Be my chicken partner? You’re the only one strong enough I can think of.” She purposely avoided his gaze. In fact, she looked everywhere but at him. 

“I-if yo-you wuh-want.” Bill’s stutter had gotten notably worse and he wanted to curse himself for it. Would he seriously let almost four years of speech therapy go to waste just because of a pretty girl?

“Oh, I definitely want.” y/n’s eyes thoughtfully roamed Bill’s bare chest which he suddenly grew conscious of. Her fingers traced his collarbone and traveled down to his bicep. “I just remembered.” Her hand pulled away and she met his eyes. His blue eyes that she could get lost in for all eternity if she weren’t careful. “I need to go.” y/n didn’t honestly have to go—rather, the advice Bev had given her earlier parroted itself in her head:

Don’t be afraid to go all in. But always leave him wanting more. 

Leave him wanting more. 

y/n gave him a half smile before making her way towards the rocks. 

Bill watched as she did. The sun’s light reflected against her slicked hair in the most alluring manner. She somehow managed to make walking through water graceful. Bill’s eyes stuck to her figure until it disappeared. His trance soon broken by the sound of Eddie’s cries and the feeling of cold water dousing his back. 

“You were great today!” y/n smiled at Beverly’s voice from over the phone. She was sitting on her bed. One hand was holding the phone to her ear while the other was twirling a finger around the cord connecting the receiver piece to the landline. 

“You really think so?” A new feeling had begun to rise in her chest. Cockiness? Pride? Accomplishment? Whatever it was, it felt good. 

“Well, Bill couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off you, could he?” And y/n didn’t have to see Beverly’s face to know she was raising her eyebrows because the tone of her voice already gave it away. 

“I guess not..” 

“Why don’t we all meet for dinner tomorrow?” Bev suggested. It wasn’t really a suggestion, though. It was more like an ‘I’m-telling-you-this-now-and-I’ll-tell-the-losers-after-we’re-done-talking’ sort of thing. 

“Sure,” y/n agreed, because she knew it was useless to try and stop Beverly—she was too far ahead of herself.

“Great!” The busy tone then rung in y/n’s ear, indicating that Bev had hung up. 

Thus, allowing her to be the blame when y/n showed up to Derry’s local diner in a strappy plaid dress and enough attitude for the whole table. 

“Oh, baby!” Richie grinned at the sight of their friend finally coming out of her shell. “You didn’t get all purty for me, did ya?” 

“You wish, trashmouth,” y/n said, taking a seat next to a now shuddering Bill. “Hey, Billy!” Unexpectedly, the girl threw her arms around the boy, wrapping him in an embrace tighter than she was willing to admit. 

Bill opened his mouth, about to say something, only to close it again. The words were caught in the back of his throat and it didn’t help when the sweet scent of her floral perfume reached his nose, leaving him lost in any contagious thoughts of her that he’d unconsciously dreamed of before. 

She withdrew from him, prompting a harsh swallow from Bill. 

“Cat got your tongue?” No matter how much she wanted to, she didn’t let herself  wait long enough for an answer. Abruptly, she broke eye contact and settled on Ben for the time being. 

In a voice higher than normal, y/n had told him he was the best writer in their grade—something Bill found himself strangely jealous hearing. “My parents said I need an English tutor...” In one hand, she swirled her root beer with a straw. Her other hand was holding up her head that rested on it. “I was wondering if you’d be mine?” 

“Wow. Yeah, y/n, I’d love to help!” Ben said with a little too much pep in his step. 

“That’s awesome!” They'd settled on the library to meet up at the next day, but oddly enough Ben wasn’t there. 

Bill was. 

“What-what are you doing here?” It was hard for y/n to try and keep her cool. Especially when the boy whom she was harboring a crush for was standing right in front of her in place of her supposed-to-be English tutor. 

“I’m tuh-tutoring yo-you in En-engl-hish. Of cour-course.” He seriously needed to get a grip on that stutter of his. It was no use, as he could even feel his thoughts stammering against each other. 

“No, Ben’s my tutor,” y/n corrected as she sat her book bag down on the library desk. She riffled through the mess of folders stacked in her bag; an ‘aha’ noise inadvertently leaving her mouth once she found the red one marked ‘English’. “Where is Ben?” It became increasingly harder to keep up the act Beverly had helped her come up with. It grew much more apparent to y/n that it was easier to flirt with friends—not someone she had a full blown crush on. 

“He, uh, he cou-couldn’t mm-muh-make it.” So what if Bill had lied? So what if Bill had told Ben that he didn’t need to go to the library anymore as he took his place instead? 

“Hey Bill!” Ben had just gotten done trading out his History book for his Pre-Calculus one.

Bill was standing right next to his friend’s locker—how Ben hadn’t seen him walking up remained a mystery. 

“What’s up?” 

“y/n tuh-told me that she-she didn’t need an English tutor an-any...anymore.” 

“Huh.” Ben chewed the dead skin on his lip before he continued. “y/n told you this?” 

“Ye-yeah.” Bill nodded his head in order to seem convincing. “Since sh-she doesn’t have any class-classes with you, she wuh-wanted mm-me to tell you.” 

It was a dirty trick and even Bill didn’t know what came over him when he decided to play the lying game. 

y/n didn’t say anything. She only sat down and begun to organize her pencils. 

“Is-s th-that okay?” A surge of nervousness pumped through his veins while he posed the question. He looked down at y/n who was still quiet. 

“Oh, so you think you’re good at English?” y/n raised her eyebrow. She’d finally plucked up enough courage to put on her alter ego and face Bill. 

“I nuh-know I’m guh-good at English. A-according to mm-my tuh-teachers. Str-straight A’s.” He eventually took a seat next to her. It gave y/n a case of the jitters she’d force herself to get over. 

“Well, if that’s the case...” y/n leaned closer into Bill’s side. Her shoulder brushed against his in a feather light touch. “Teach me everything you know.” 

Bill felt himself beginning to choke on his spit. Ever since that day at the quarry, y/n had started acting different.  For one, she actually talked to him. She also traded her regular mom jeans for skirts and graphic tees for tank tops; clothes that showed the most skin. It took him a solid minute before he could clear his throat and begin to explain the differences between a run-on sentence and a comma splice. 

“I have to ask you something.” y/n stopped him in the middle of his explanation of different clauses. 

Bill looked up from the paper he was using to demonstrate. His eyes dwelled into hers. He knew where this conversation was leading to, and for the record, he didn’t necessarily want to go there. “Wuh-what is i-it?” 

“Did Ben really call this off?” He knew at least some variation of those words were going to come out of her mouth. “It just seems unlike him. And we see each other at lunch—”

“Act-actually...” Bill heaved a sigh, unwilling to reveal what had really happened. But it would be for the best, right?

Bill missed how the perpetual softness of her features had developed into a sort of smug look that y/n wouldn’t usually sport. “Bill...” Her hand reached up to cup his face. “If you had something to do with it, I wouldn’t be mad.” He didn’t realize her delicate fingers were carding through his auburn hair up until she pulled away. 

At this point, so many sensations swept through his insides. If a butterfly had flown out rather than actual words, Bill would only try to find out what species it was. 

“What.” He stopped to exhale. “Wha-what muh-makes you thi-think I had... had something to-to do with—” 

“Just a girl’s intuition.” y/n seemed serious for a second and Bill couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I’m kidding, duh. I got a text halfway through our study sesh.” She took out her Nokia to show him. 

Bill told me about cancelling our sessiom. Good luck in engkish. 

A chuckle tumbled from his lips, noting the obvious typos. “Fo-for a guh-guy wh-who was goin-gonna tu-tutor you.. he ca-can’t spell for sh-sh-shit.” 

y/n’s head fell back and she lost control of her body momentarily as laughter consumed her. Bill could tell she gained control again when she turned to him once more. Silently, she waited for an answer. 

“So... so wuh-what i-if I de-did.” 

“If you did, then, I’d think you conned Haystack out of an opportunity to teach me,” she said, her voice all sing-songy. She instantly noticed Bill’s frown—how he looked down in a sort of shameful way. “I’d also say you were pretty good company.” 

“Really?” Bill’s incredulous mood had egged y/n on even further. 

“Obviously. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with a total dreamboat like you?” She jabbed at his stomach. Bill would normally flinch at this, but his mind was too busy analyzing what she just said. 

“Dr-dreamboat?” His thick eyebrows drew together. Suspect crossed his face. 

“You heard me, Denbrough.” y/n cocked her head to the side. She shifted closer to him- that is, if she could be any closer. 

He tried to speak but all that came out were a bunch of incoherent stutters.

“Shut up.” She thought of pressing her finger to his mouth, but an idea even better sparked in her mind. 

y/n forced a quick kiss onto his lips. She didn’t stay that long; not giving him the chance to kiss back. She was met with his eyes closed and his lips left in a gathered state after parting. 

“Wowo-woah.” Bill sighed, opening his eyes. His already pink lips were stained a slight red from the lipstick that colored y/n’s own. 

“Was I good?” y/n’s alter ego had completely left her body at this point. Her previously shy and hesitant self was now fleshed out perfectly for Bill to see. 

Bill shrugged before pulling her in for another kiss. This time it was long and slow. This time Bill had the chance to kiss back. 

“Ye-yeah.” His expression was kind. “Amazing.” 

[erikahenningsen]

My 15 favorite theater experiences of 2019

In no particular order:

1. Choir Boy (Samuel Friedman Theatre, New York, NY): I say in no particular order, but if you know anything about me, you know that Choir Boy is my number-one show of the year. I saw it four times on Broadway and twice in Boston. Tarell Alvin McCraney’s writing is so beautiful, human, and fearless. He puts works of art on stages, television, and film that nobody else does. Jeremy Pope’s performance as Pharus is easily in the top three greatest performances I’ve seen on a Broadway stage. If your local regional theater is doing this show, I cannot encourage you enough to go and see it.

2. What the Constitution Means to Me (Helen Hayes Theater, New York, NY): This show was unlike any other play I’ve seen before. Heidi Schreck, who wrote and starred in WTCMTM, wrote a deeply human, poignant, and timely play about a document written by a bunch of rich, white men a few centuries ago and made it gripping, engaging, and relevant. It’s a show I believe every American should see. As an added bonus, Heidi is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve met.

3. The Wrong Man (MCC Theater, New York, NY): I saw The Wrong Man for the first time three weeks before it closed, and I immediately fell in love with it and went back several more times in those three weeks. The Wrong Man is only ninety minutes long and has only three main characters, but it presents an engaging story about forgiveness, mercy, justice, guilt, and innocence. Ross Golan, the composer/lyricist, began performing The Wrong Man as a concept album thirteen years ago and turned it into a full musical. The score is beautiful and has some really great bops, and the choreography is probably the best I’ve ever seen.

4. Waitress with Sara Bareilles and Gavin Creel (Brooks Atkinson Theatre, New York, NY): I’m personally not the biggest fan of Waitress, but this was one of the most fun nights I had in a theater this year. Sara and Gavin had amazing chemistry, and I have never laughed so much at Waitress before. 

5. A Strange Loop (Playwrights Horizons, New York, NY): A Strange Loop is unlike any show I’ve ever seen before. It’s unlike anything anyone has seen before. How many shows center around a fat, black, queer character? I can’t think of any. Michael R. Jackson, the book writer/composer/lyricist, has an incredible ability to write satire that has you laughing at the same time you’re being punched in the face emotionally. A Strange Loop grapples with the intersections of racism, homophobia, and fatphobia. It’s meta at the same time it’s grounded, and gets more and more intense as the show progresses. I walked out of the theater in a daze after I saw it. My fingers are crossed it comes to Broadway.

5. Mean Girls, Taylor Louderman’s last show (August Wilson Theatre, New York, NY): Going to Mean Girls is a routine thing for me, and I’ve seen the show dozens of times, but every once in awhile something special happens that reignites my love for this show. Taylor’s last show was obviously incredibly sad for me, the cast, and everyone who loves this show, but I also laughed more and harder on this evening than I have in a very long time at Mean Girls. Everyone, especially Taylor, was giving this performance their all, and I’ll never forget it.

6. The Secret Life of Bees (Atlantic Theater Company, New York, NY): I had suspicions I was really going to love this show before I saw it, but I absolutely fell in love with it. The music is gorgeous (thank you, Duncan Sheik), the performances are stellar, and the story, though set decades ago, is as timely and relevant as ever. I do cry at shows pretty often, but rarely do I tear up because of how overwhelmingly beautiful a show is—but I did that at Secret Life of Bees. I’m still impatiently waiting on that Broadway transfer announcement.

7. Beetlejuice (Winter Garden Theatre, New York, NY): Despite all its flaws, I love this crazy, loud, obnoxious, wild show so much. I had seen it in DC and counted down the days until first preview on Broadway. I rushed first preview and ended up with front-row tickets, and I had one of the most fun nights in a theater I’ve ever had. The performances really make the show, and I’ve been very vocal about how I strongly believe Leslie Kritzer was snubbed by the Tonys. Beetlejuice also has my favorite scenic design for any show. I also have a uniquely personal connection to this showL Beetlejuice used to have a joke in the show I felt was offensive, so I reached out to Eddie Perfect and Alex Timbers and explained to them why I was hurt by it, and they actually listened to my feedback and removed the joke. I’m hoping Beetlejuice can find another home after June, because I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.

8. Next to Normal (Ground Floor Theatre/Deaf Austin Theatre, Austin, TX): For years I had been wanting an ASL production of Next to Normal with Sandra Mae Frank as Natalie, so when it actually happened I knew I had to fly to Texas to see it. I don’t think I’ve ever cried more at a show. Sandy made me look at Natalie in a whole new way, and the ASL interpretations of the lyrics added so many new layers to the show. Megg Rose, the Deaf actor who played Diana, gave one of the best performances I’ve seen, and I want her to be on Broadway immediately. This production really was a dream come true for me. 

9. Six (Chicago Shakespeare Theater, Chicago, IL): We drove to Chicago from NYC to see Six, and it was definitely worth it. I was in the front row for the first time I saw it, which was a terrifying but incredibly fun experience. This cast is so incredibly talented, and the show is so much fun, and being there with almost all of my closest friends was such a memorable experience. I’m so excited to see it again when it comes to Broadway.

10. Little Shop of Horrors (Westside Theatre, New York, NY): This was my first experience seeing LSOH, and I had an absolute blast. The performances were incredible, with Christian Borle being just off-the-wall crazy. I haven’t laughed that much at a show in awhile. The Audrey II puppets are fantastic, and what they’ve done with the scenic design in such a small space is amazing. I’m excited to see it again with Gideon Glick.

11. Indecent (Huntington Theatre Company, Boston, MA): Indecent is and always will be my favorite play, and I’m so incredibly grateful I got to see it again in Boston. Huntington recreated the Broadway production with many of the original cast members, and it was such a special show. I never thought I’d see that production again live, and Huntington gave me such an incredible gift with this play. 

12. Freestyle Love Supreme (Booth Theatre, New York, NY): FLS is just fun from start to finish. It’s completely improvised with special unannounced guests every night, so it’s different every time you see it. I loved seeing how they made the show more inclusive between Off-Broadway and Broadway (by asking people their pronouns, for example), and I have a blast every time. 

13. Ain’t Too Proud - The Life and Times of the Temptations (Imperial Theatre, New York, NY): I saw Ain’t Too Proud mostly for Jeremy Pope, and I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I genuinely loved the show. Derrick Baskin is one of the most hardworking performers on Broadway—he literally does not leave the stage. The choreography is so much fun, and each person in the cast is so incredibly talented. It’s also one of the most pleasant stage doors I’ve ever experienced; everyone at the stage door just really genuinely wants to congratulate and thank the performers, and the actors are so kind. 

14. Teeth (National Alliance for Musical Theatre Festival, New York, NY): It’s wild even to me that I’m putting a staged partial reading on this list, but that’s how good Teeth was. I spent the entire time laughing, and the songs are constantly stuck in my head. Everyone at the festival was talking about how much they loved the show, so I’m hopeful there will be a full production of it sometime soon.

15. Slave Play (John Golden Theatre, New York, NY): It’s hard to talk about Slave Play because it transcends descriptors like “good” or “bad.” Slave Play is important. It’s complex. It’s necessarily provocative. And it’s shaken up Broadway like no show has in recent memory. It’s a show I think every American adult should see. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it. It only runs for a couple more weeks, and if you haven’t seen it, you need to. 

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 6 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

Getting a summons to "meet me in my office in five, Allen" from the Big Guy is never a good sign, particularly when Barry's, like, 95% sure he hasn't done anything recently.

Anything, like, oh, masquerading as a police officer. Taking unapproved days off without notice. Investigating supernatural events with a CCPD badge and pretending he's sanctioned.

All things he's been yelled at before.

But he hasn't done any of those things recently! That’s got to be worth something, right?

Of course, now he has all his secret work as the Flash...

Barry slips into Captain Singh's office and offers a hopeful smile. Maybe this is just a chat, not a yelling at?

The smile is not returned.

Yeah, this is definitely a yelling at.

Singh is on the phone, so he just waves for Barry to sit down while he finishes up.

Barry does so, snagging a pen from Singh's desk as he does. Maybe if he just holds onto the pen, he won't embarrass himself by flailing.

Singh eventually finishes the call and turns to look at Barry.

He doesn't say anything for a long moment.

Barry's dying here. Seriously.

"What are you doing, Allen?" Singh finally says with a sigh.

"Uh," Barry says, fiddling with the pen between his fingers and promptly dropping it with a loud clatter that makes him flinch. So very not cool, Barry. "I don't know what you mean? Sir."

"I bet you don't," Singh says, more to himself than Barry.

"Have there been any problems with my work?" Barry tries, figuring that must be the issue. "If it's about the paperwork, I know it was late, but I did get it all done -"

About five seconds before coming into Singh's office.

But no, Singh's shaking his head.

Barry frowns. "With my results, then?" He's fiercely protective of his work, like any CSI, and he'll stand behind his work product any day. Sure, he's been distracted by the Flash business, but he hasn't let it impact his actual work.

He thinks.

"No, Allen," Singh says. "Your results are fine."

"Okay," Barry says, relieved but also deeply confused. If it's not any of those, and he's pretty sure Singh doesn't know about the Flash stuff, then what could it be? "Then why'd you call me in here? Uh, sir?"

"Someone's been doing some searches in the personnel files with your login," Singh says. "It sent up some flags. I want to know if it was you."

Personnel files? Why would Barry be looking in -

Oh.

Right.

The Captain Cold investigation.

Cisco hadn't been able to hack the CCPD (something about their systems being too antiquated) and they didn't want to bother Felicity, who'd gone back to Starling in a hurry to inform Oliver of the possibility of supervillain cops, which apparently hadn’t ever occurred to either of them, so Barry figured he could start off the investigation himself by checking the files through legitimate channels.

He'd checked the public directory, but couldn’t find anything other than Captain Cold’s real name (“Snart, Leonard Jacob,” apparently, which, seriously, poor guy – Barry wouldn’t much like being named something like ‘Snart’ in middle school, he can tell you that much), so he’d set a search running on the personal file database earlier - the CCPD computers were protected not so much by their firewalls but by their sheer ancient creaking weight, and that meant they ran slower than glaciers - and went back to work, forgetting all about it.

And now Captain Singh is asking questions.

"Uh," Barry says. "I mean. That is..."

"That's what I thought," Singh says with a sigh. "I'm going to pretend for both our sakes that those searches were a mistake, Allen, and you're going to drop it. Now."

"What? Why? It's just personnel files, those aren't confidential -"

"They are if someone's undercover," Singh says.

Barry pauses. "But Captain Cold - uh, Snart - is the head of IA."

AKA, not a member of undercover operations.

"That's right," Singh says. "But he was an undercover guy for nearly twenty years before that. Family work."

Barry's eyes go wide. "Wow." He's never met anyone who’d done serious undercover ops, much less Family work. Much less for twenty years! "And he survived?"

"Barely," Singh tells him, his mouth tight. "He didn't get caught for years, one of the best guys we had on the inside, and then it all blew up because someone here in the CCPD spilled the beans on him, leading to him getting tortured and shot a few times."

Oh, shit.

Well, that's certainly a reason to be on the warpath against CCPD cops. A pretty valid reason, too.

"I thought - Joe said - that is -"

"Let me guess," Singh says, his voice suddenly very dry. "Nasty old Captain Cold's unreasonably biased against all cops, guilty or otherwise, because he's got unresolved issues with his abusive dad that he's taking out on the rest of us? Seems like that’s Detective West's favorite line, nowadays."

Barry winces. "Yes, sir."

"Don't get me wrong, Allen," Singh says. "I know West. I know that he means well, and I know that he's a damn fine detective when he pulls his head out of his ass, but sometimes..." Singh shakes his head. "Most of the precinct listens to him, too, which isn't helping any of us."

Yeah, Barry can see the problem there.

"Anyway," Singh says, voice brisk again. "As I was saying, Captain Snart's records are still sealed because he's still the number one target for multiple Families."

"That must be why he wears a mask!" Barry exclaims.

Singh stares at him.

"Uh," Barry says. "Or so Joe tells me. There was an incident -"

"Thank you, I'm familiar with the incident in question," Singh says. He looks like he has a headache. "Yes, you're correct; Captain Snart has decided that wearing a mask will be useful in maintaining his personal security while he pursues – certain lines of investigation -"

"The new joint task force?" Barry asks. He'd heard whispers. "It's related to the Fl- I mean, the Streak, right?"

"Or whatever weird stuff's been going on in Central recently, yes," Singh says, looking even more pained. "I don't suppose you've got any insight on that?"

Barry should probably tell Captain Singh about the metahumans. But if he does, then Singh will want to know how he knows, and that would turn attention onto Wells and STAR Labs and maybe even on the Flash himself, and then Captain Cold will have everything he needs to come after all of them, putting Barry's friends and loved ones in danger...

"I didn't think so," Singh says when Barry remains quiet. "As it happens, yes, the new task force will be focusing on the Streak, among other things. It'll be co-run by Captain Snart and myself; he'll be taking lead personally, since he doesn't have much of a staff yet -"

Too paranoid to trust anyone, Barry interprets.

"- and I'll be assigning one of my detectives to be his local liaison."

Barry nods. That sounded about right. "Understood, sir. If you don't mind my asking, which detective were you thinking? Because I know Joe would be interested..."

Joe would be pissed off beyond all belief at having to work with Captain Cold, but, on the other hand, it would give Team Flash an inside man on the CCPD's investigation into the Flash. That way Joe would be able to give them updates, warn them of any trouble, even redirect the lines of inquiry away from them, maybe plant some misleading clues...

Barry feels sick all of a sudden. What he was just thinking sounds an awful lot like corruption.

Like exactly the sort of corruption the head of IA would be looking for.

Like the sort of corruption that Barry fought so hard against when it was Dibny doing it.

Fuck.

Yeah, maybe all of that stuff might be necessary to keep the CCPD from finding out about the Flash. But if deceiving the police to such an extent is necessary just for him to stay operational, what does that say about what Barry is doing?

Is Barry really doing the right thing in being the Flash, if it means that he has to break laws and corrupt the course of justice to do it?

"- wouldn't agree to take him, and I can't blame him," Singh is saying. "He's agreed to take Detective Thawne instead."

Eddie.

Barry's first thought, shameful as it is to admit, is to wonder how Iris will react to finding out her boyfriend is involved in hunting down her hero.

But - no. No, Barry. No hoping that she gets angry and breaks up with Eddie, and then somehow discovers she's always been in love with you via some unrealistic twist of events. You're better than that.

You should be better than that.

Besides, you're going out with Cool Coffee Guy (Len!) later today.

As friends, sure, but still.

"Listen to me, Allen," Singh says, rapping his knuckles against his desk to get Barry's attention. "You need to step lightly for a while, okay? It's hard for all of us, having IA staffed here, and a lot of people are very angry for a lot of different reasons, some of which are more justified than others. There's a reason that your little search threw up red flags so quickly. So whatever it is that you may have heard that sparked your interest in Captain Snart, you need to drop it."

"But -"

"Allen. That's an order."

"Yes, sir," Barry says. "It wasn't anything in specific, sir; I was just curious about him. Sir."

Singh looks at Barry for a long moment. "Allen," he finally says. "What I'm going to tell you doesn't leave this room, okay? And I'm only telling you because I know you're boneheaded enough to try to find a different way to keep tracking Snart down, and I want to make it clear to you why that would be a bad idea, okay?"

Barry nods, his interest piqued. "Yes, sir. I can keep a secret, sir."

"Captain Snart's looking at you."

Barry freezes.

No.

No!

How - did he know - how could he know - Cold couldn't have figured Barry's identity out so quickly - are the others in danger? Joe? Iris? The STAR Labs team?

Barry needs to warn them. Cold could be going after them even now - there could be warrants - charges – shit, even just accessory after the fact or conspiracy could be enough to put them in prison - why hadn't Barry thought about any of that, why hadn't any of them thought about it -

"It has to do with your leave of absence," Singh says, oblivious to Barry's rising panic. "Now, I've tried to tell him that you're not involved with the Families -"

"The Families?!" Barry exclaims, abruptly derailed from his prior line of thought. "I would never work with – wait. He thinks I'm working with the Families?"

"Nine months is about as much time as it would take someone to get in through the ranks as a blood-sworn Family man, if they went at it intensively enough," Singh says. "And Captain Snart would know that better than most."

The Families.

The Families, not the Flash.

Captain Cold doesn't know yet.

Captain Cold doesn't know yet.

He's just made a lucky guess, investigating both Barry Allen and the Flash at the same time.

Lucky, or maybe Joe is right and the guy really is investigating everyone all the time.

"- and that's why you need to tread carefully for once, you hear me, Allen? You're a good kid, you do good work, important work, but you're reckless; you always have been. I don't want to lose my on-site CSI to an IA investigation, okay?"

"Okay," Barry says.

Singh pins him with a look. "I'm serious, Allen. If you go down, even on charges ultimately found to be false, all of your cases will be reopened and reexamined for any mistake, intentional or otherwise, and anything they find could be used to put criminals back out on the street where they can start hurting people again. Snart's already sent some of your cases to forensics to be looked over."

Barry's back straightens in offense. He's not corrupt. He's not working with the Families. And he'd never fake his work! "I stand behind my results, sir."

"And your results stand behind you," Singh agrees. "I don't think he's found anything there - he said something about some weird centrifuge results, but nothing that'd affect the analysis -"

...oops.

Barry has been using his speed powers to do the analysis and get the results he'd normally have to wait to use the centrifuge for, especially when the office's sole machine is busy on something else. He hadn't realized that it would be noticeable, though of course he should have. He knows very well that every machine of that type leaves its own special trace, working at a different speed, a different set of kinks, a recognizable pattern - Barry's job is literally based on uncovering little details like that.

Of course, Barry also didn't realize that anyone would ever look at his tests for anything other than the end result.

He's going to have to stop cutting corners.

...when did Barry start cutting corners, anyway? Wasn't that what he got so pissed off at Dibny about, the cheating, the laziness, the corruption?

Crap. Maybe this Captain Cold guy has a point about the CCPD needing to shape up.

(But if he's right about the CCPD, then what does that say about the Flash..?)

"- but either way, I want to know that you're taking me seriously," Singh says. "No searches on Captain Snart. No extracurricular investigations, no mysterious sick days, none of it, and certainly none of those stunts like you used to pull with pretending something is an official investigation. You get me? Those are all on your record if someone looks hard enough, and someone's looking. You want to get through this, you need to be clean and you need to be hands off. Understood?"

Barry looks Singh straight in the eyes. "Yes, sir. I understand."

And he means it, too.

Singh seems to get that, because he relaxes. "Good. Dismissed, Allen. And make sure that that paperwork's actually in people's inboxes, rather than sitting on your desk."

Barry nods and leaves, feeling more than a bit shaken.

He joined the CCPD to make things right for his dad, to find out the truth behind what happened to his mom, but it wasn’t just for them. When Barry took his oath to join the force, he meant it with all his heart – he swore that he'd do his job right not just for himself, but for everyone else in the process, too. He became a CSI rather than a cop because he loved science, really loved it, and because he wanted to make sure someone was checking the work of the cops who took the easy answer waiting for them the way they had with his dad.

When did he start taking the easy way himself?

Is this how it started, with the little things: not wanting to wait for the office centrifuge, getting lazy with his documentation, fudging a bit on his time entries to account for the fact that he can work so much faster now? With a desire to do good, but to do it faster, better, easier?

Is this how Dibny started?

Barry doesn't like that thought. Oh, he wasn't wrong about Dibny - the man planted evidence on someone, for God's sake. That's absolutely unforgivable, a violation of everything the police stand for; when it had been uncovered, the hit to the CCPD's credibility had been a bad one, but not as bad as if Dibny'd actually succeeded in sending the man to jail based on his phony evidence.

Not as bad as it would have been if it'd been covered up.

But now Barry's starting to wonder about his own actions, too. This Flash thing - he is breaking the law, he knows he is, but on the other hand, he's trying to help people in a way he knows the CCPD can't. Surely that justifies it. Right?

Isn't he helping?

Sure, when Barry's fighting metas, that's one thing. The CCPD doesn't know how to handle them - though they'd stand a better shot at if they knew about them in the first place, the voice in Barry's head whispers, why are we keeping this a secret - and in those situations, then yes, Barry's powers mean that he’s the one best positioned to act. He doesn't want good people like Joe getting hurt because they're up against things they're not trained for, things they aren’t equipped to handle, people with powers way above their punching level.

But what about the robberies? D'Angelo - sure, Barry stopped him, and there's a chance the police wouldn't have responded in time to such an audacious attack on a traveling vehicle. But did that make Barry's actions right?

Unlike Captain Cold, Barry's not a cop. He's not authorized to arrest people whenever he sees a crime in progress, not any more than any normal person making a citizen's arrest – and as a CSI, he knows better than most that the rules for those are pretty limited. Maybe he could weasel away the D'Angelo incident, but some of the other ones...

But on the other hand, if Barry can do good in his own way, then isn't he obligated to do it, even if it means he has to work outside the rules?

Yeah. Barry bets that's just what Dibny told himself when he was planting that knife.

Great. A major crisis of conscience is just what the Flash needs right now.

Barry wonders, a little resentfully, if this is part of Captain Cold's evil plan.

Or not-so-evil plan. He hasn't actually heard much about Captain Snart that's really bad, just that he's both a stickler for rules and a reckless crazy person and vicious and ruthless and -

To be fair, most of the bad stuff Barry's heard has been from cops angry that one of their own is being investigated, no matter how just the cause. Surely if they realize that the cause is just, they'll stop being so...

No, they won't.

They won't stop being angry, the way they've never entirely warmed back up to Barry after the whole Dibny thing. The only reason Barry's even halfway as accepted as he is? It’s because Joe ran some serious interference on his behalf, pleading childhood trauma as an excuse. Barry knows that to be true, even though he prefers not to think about it.

He sighs.

"Is the sightseeing good, wherever it is in your head that you've drifted off to now?"

Barry turns with a smile. "Iris! What are you doing here?"

Iris is beaming, the honest joy in her face making her glow. She's radiant and beautiful and everything Barry's ever wanted. "Oh, you know, catching up with people," she says, waving a hand. "And something I can't quite tell you about yet, so don't even ask."

"Scout's honor," Barry promises.

"You were never a scout, Barry Allen," Iris teases. "You okay? You were pretty out of it."

"Oh, it's nothing," Barry says. "I just got called in to talk to Singh - late paperwork, you know -"

"You get going on that paperwork, then!" she exclaims. "Shoo, shoo!"

"Iris!" Barry laughs.

"But no, seriously, I'm just passing by," she says. "I promised Dad I'd pick something up for him, you know the drill, but I have to run as soon as I find him."

"He's in the back," Barry says. "With Ballistics, I think."

"You're the best, Bar," Iris says, unaware of the pang that causes in Barry's chest. "Say, what're you doing tonight? Me and Eddie are planning to check out that new art installation in the park -"

"Oh, man, you know I'd love to -" There is literally nothing Barry would like less than to gatecrash one of Eddie and Iris' dates. "- but I have plans."

Iris looks skeptical.

Somewhat justifiably.

"Really!" Barry says, glad that, for once, he actually does have plans. "I'm meeting someone for dinner."

Iris' smile broadens. "A special someone?"

"...maybe," Barry allows. "But not yet; we're still just getting to know each other!"

"You'll have to tell me everything," Iris says. "Is it Felicity?"

"No - Iris, I told you already, we're just friends -"

Iris makes a not-entirely-believing noise. "Sure," she says. "Anyway, I really do have to run. You free for lunch, then? By then I should have permission to talk about some news that I really want to share - and I think you're going to like it, too!"

"Really? What -"

"No way," Iris says. "Wait until later."

"You and your surprises," Barry says fondly, then he goes upstairs and he sits down and he works.

For once, he doesn't rush through his day, daydreaming of things he could be doing as the Flash. He doesn’t stare at the clock, he doesn’t play on his phone, he doesn’t leave in the middle of the day to go train himself to be faster – he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to do.

It’s his job, his stupid frustrating wonderful important job, and he likes what he does.

When did he let that get eclipsed by the Flash?

Wells texts him after a while, asking where he is. When Barry explains that he’s at work, Wells asks why he doesn’t just speed through his work then sneak out for a few hours to train his speed some more, the way he's been doing on a nearly daily basis these last few weeks.

Barry winces, thinking about it. He’s been treating his day job like a joke, like it was something he did on the side while he focused entirely on being the Flash, and that’s not fair to the people he’s supposed to be working for – the men and women whose lives could be irrevocably altered based on what facts he’s able to prove or disprove in his lab.

People like his dad.

No, Barry can’t just go play superhero all the time. This is important, too.

He texts Wells back, explaining that he needs to catch up on some work things he's been neglecting.

Wells takes a while to understand, which Barry really can’t blame him for – Barry’s been showing up religiously for Wells’ tests and experiments and suggestions on how Barry can get ever faster – but it’s a little annoying that Barry has to reiterate three times that yes, his job is important, yes it’s just as important as getting faster as the Flash, no, he’s not coming to STAR Labs even if there's been a new meta sighting, not until there’s actual evidence of the meta doing something wrong, so please don't call unless people are actually in imminent danger.

He ends up texting something a little snippier than he really meant it to be, saying something about how getting faster isn’t exactly his top priority all the time and that Wells needs to respect that, but eventually his message gets through and Wells apologizes for pushing.

With that done, Barry goes back to focusing on doing his work well and doing his work right.

He -

He has a lot of fun, actually.

It's not just the pride he gets from obtaining results, but rather the actual fun of doing science. Taking down results, thinking about them, analyzing them, selecting what process would be best to put them through rather than just running the standard tests and calling it a day -

He even calls the main CSI building to ask some of his CSI colleagues about a weird result he's been getting from a few different crime scenes.

"Barry!" Gila exclaims in an ear-piercing shriek of excitement. Not surprising; Gila always did believe that conversations were ideally had at capslock volume. "Well, this is a surprise!"

"We were starting to think we should rename you MIA Allen instead of CSI Allen," Andre jokes. Looks like Barry’s on speakerphone.

"What's new in cop-land?" Terri asks. It’s always hard to tell over the phone, but Barry thinks they’re feeling more feminine today than masculine; he’ll try to keep that in mind. "Bored and begging to come back to Scienceland Central City yet?"

"Every time I call, I remember that you're all a bunch of jerks," Barry teases, immediately at ease. He's always gotten along surprisingly great with his fellow CSIs, even if he’s the only on-site crime scene tech stationed at this precinct while the rest of them are busy being forensic investigative scientists in the suburbs. "Must be a side-effect of being stuck out in the boonies, huh?"

"Suburbs," Gila sniffs, clearly not offended in the slightest. "Stuck out in the suburbs. At a high-end fully-equipped CSI laboratory with all the fun toys in the world, let me remind you."

"You ought to come out to visit us sometime," Terri says. "We've got a whole pile of new equipment named after you."

Barry laughs.

"No, really," Andre says. "The city paid for it in the name of improving workplace safety after you had your accident at work - like anyone could predict a lightning strike."

"Or the Accelerator explosion," Barry agrees.

"No, that could have been predicted," Terri says, voice suddenly intense. "There were signs - workplace norms being ignored, protests overridden, sudden dismissals in clear retaliation -"

"Whoa, whoa, where's this come from?" Barry asks, taken aback. Terri's one of the best forensic accounting experts he's ever met; they could have any job they wanted at any major institution, but, like Barry, only ever wanted to be a CSI.

"Terri's pet project," Gila says. "Proving that the Accelerator explosion was intentional."

A shiver goes down Barry's back. "No, you don't understand," he says. "It was an accident - things were definitely overlooked, yes, Wells said as much in his press conference last week -"

"Oh, right, that whole claptrap," Andre says scornfully. "I bet you dollars to donuts that he only did that because some whistle-blower came forward."

Technically, yes, it had been after Hartley Rathaway had made those accusations – and tried to blow up STAR Labs and part of the city with his sonic blasters – but –

"I lost friends in that explosion," Terri says, still angry. "Cars that crashed, fire patrols and ambulances that never made it to their destinations, people that just disappeared - it was bad. And I was depressed, but there wasn't anything I could do about it because it was just a tragic accident. I wanted to reassure myself that at least they did everything they could - except they didn't. Their construction timeline is unreal - fourteen missed safety tests - evidence of bribery -"

"Bribery?" Barry asks, a sharp pang in his chest. It's like everywhere he goes, there's corruption all around him. And yes, he knows that Central City has something of a reputation in that line, but he'd always tried to keep himself clean...

"Oh yeah, definitely," Terri says. "Property board approvals, safety inspectors, the works; I've got transfers out of Harrison Wells' private accounts that match up perfectly. But no one wants to do anything because -" And their voice turns sticky-sweet-sarcastic. "- hasn't he been punished enough, he broke his back, he lost his reputation, oh no, must be just awful sitting there being a multi-millionaire -"

"I know Wells," Barry protests. "He's sincerely remorseful."

"You would think so, B," Terri says. "You've always been the nicest one of us."

"No, I mean, I actually know him - I'm friends with some of the STAR Labs employees -"

"Bring them to one of our science parties, then," Gila says. "We've missed you, you know! It's like you don't have time for us since you woke up from your coma - which, don't get me wrong, you must have a million doctor's visits -"

He doesn't, not really. And sure, they're only work friends, but he still used to like hanging out with them - all of them at the misfit table, Andre sometimes joked -

"I'll introduce you," Barry promises. Cisco and Caitlin are misfits and science nerds, too; they'll fit right in. It'll be great. "You'll love them."

"I'm sure we will," Andre says. "Why'd you call, anyway? I assume it wasn't to shoot the shit on company time."

"No, no," Barry says. "I’m being good for once, really! I called about something I found in those disappearances cases, the ones that got sent up to me because someone started thinking might be connected, you know? Anyway, there's a residue in the dirt surrounding each of the scenes that I can't seem to place -"

"Oooh, you mean Chemical X?" Gila interrupts.

"Wait," Barry says. "Is that a Powerpuff Girls reference?"

"Gila found it first, so she had naming rights," Andre says, long-suffering. "Anyway, we know what you mean - it's been spotted all over the city, near these disappearances, possibly elsewhere, and it doesn't match up to anything we're familiar with."

"Tar made from jet engine exhaust is a weirdly close match," Gila says. "But it has similarities to charcoal and to skid marks, too! It's so weird. It's not like there's a jet plane running through the streets of Central City."

Barry looks at his feet with a sudden suspicion. "What about the Streak?"

"Urban legend," Andre says immediately.

"It is not, you old skeptic!" Gila shouts back.

"You had to get them started on that again," Terri groans. "Ugh, Barry, why? I'm the one who has to sit with them."

"Sorry," Barry says, managing not to grin only because he's pretty sure Terri would know, somehow. He's not sorry at all.

"Anyway," Terri continues, "putting aside the 'is it/isn't it' debate, what we do know for sure is that the residue started appearing around crime sites seven, maybe eight, months ago, well before the Streak made its first appearance."

Huh. Seven months ago, Barry was still in a coma. So it's not him.

Maybe another meta?

"Anyway, we're glad you called," Gila says after she's exhausted her well-worn (barely) muffled argument with Andre. "Weirdo residue is right up your alley, Allen. How's that supernatural blog going, anyway?"

Barry can't help but smile a little. He's almost entirely forgotten about that blog. He hasn't had much time for anything but Flash stuff lately, not really...

There's a loud knock on his door. "Oops," Barry says. "Reality calls."

"Boooo," the other three chorus.

Barry laughs. "I will take a closer look at that residue, though, run some extra tests," he promises.

"Come down to the lab sometime! You can try out the new machines!"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Oh, and Allen?" Terri says. "One more thing. Could you check through the archives over there? I wanna know how far back this residue really goes - seven months ago just means that that's as far back as we've been looking, nothing more."

"Sure," Barry agrees, though he doubts he'll find anything pre-dating the Accelerator explosion if it is in fact a meta. "Later, guys."

He hangs up and turns to face - Eddie?

"Oh, crap," Barry says. "Lunch with Iris! I'm so sorry, I totally forgot -"

His lateness thing has never been about his speed, after all.

"No, no," Eddie says, holding up his hands with a smile. "That's not - well, actually, that is why I'm here, sort of. Lunch is cancelled on account of - and I swear I'm quoting Iris here - West family drama."

Barry can't help a grin. "Oh boy, that bad? Did Joe try something else to try to tank your relationship?"

"Nope, it's a new one," Eddie says, grinning back and pulling a chair over. "Mind if I take refuge here for a bit? They're still fighting downstairs right next to my desk, so I took my break early..."

"Sure," Barry says. As he's discovered over the past few weeks, he actually does like Eddie, despite every Iris-related reason not to. "Something new, huh? What is it?"

"Her new project. I warned her Joe wouldn't take it as well as she thought he would," Eddie says, shaking his head.

“Sounds juicy,” Barry says fondly. “Is this what she was going to reveal over lunch?”

“Yep, exactly that. I’m sure she won’t mind if I spill the beans, though, if you don’t mind hearing it from me instead of her..?”

“If it means staying out of a West family fight?” Barry asks with a laugh. “Spill away.”

Eddie grins. "Okay, you know how he's been leaning on her about that Streak - uh, Flash blog of hers? Saying it's dangerous and she should stop writing it because it might make her a target because this Flash guy could be anyone?"

That last one wasn't exactly Joe's reason, for obvious reasons, but Barry wasn't about to say so. He knows all of Joe's arguments along those lines; he'd used many of the same ones himself to try to convince Iris to stay out of the superhero reporting business.

Hadn’t worked, of course. Another massive Iris-related failure he really shouldn’t have been surprised by...

"I thought you said it was a new argument they were having?" he says dryly.

"It is, I swear," Eddie says. "Anyway, Iris thought he'd be happy because she finally agreed that she shouldn't be working on reporting Flash related things without adequate protection."

That does sound like something that would make Joe happy.

It also doesn't exactly sound like Iris.

Barry says as much. Eddie laughs. "Yeah, well, I think Joe was going for more 'stop writing anything about it' and less 'keep writing about it, just with police support'."

A chill goes down Barry's spine. "Police support? What do you mean?"

"Captain Singh's got me on the new Flash task force that Captain Snart is running," Eddie says. "Did you hear...?”

Barry nods.

“Anyway, we were talking a bit about it, Captain Snart and I, and he ended up going to talk to Iris himself, since she's one of the few people other than him that's actually spoken with this Flash guy. And, long story short, he’s agreed that she can help us out as part of the task force – she's actually going to be working with us in a consulting role. A full-time, getting-paid consulting role...it’s her first big break into real journalism!"

Eddie beams when he concludes the sentence, clearly proud of Iris for having been offered an official role like that, but Barry's too busy gaping at him to share in the joy that he would normally have upon hearing about Iris’ career finally getting moving.

He'd been worried about Captain Cold getting to Iris, maybe even had a few daydreams about rescuing her from some extremely low-key and non-threatening but maybe mildly traumatizing kidnapping, but he'd never imagined he'd get to her like this.

"Hold up," Barry says, swallowing through a suddenly dry throat. "You're telling me that Iris agreed to join an anti-Flash task force? I thought - I thought she liked him!"

"She does," Eddie agrees, clearly slightly confused by Barry's admittedly odd reaction. "Captain Snart cut a deal with her - well, honestly I think he was planning on doing it anyway and just used his talk with her to formalize it. The task force is designed to analyze the Flash's actions and recommend a solution. If Iris is right and he's not doing damage, he'll get leniency based on the idea that he's just being overzealous citizen rather than an actual criminal. But if Captain Snart is right and he's involved in criminal activity, then he gets arrested and faces the full force of the law."

"And Iris agreed?"

"She didn't see any reason not to," Eddie points out. "She really believes in this Flash guy."

"So she's helping the police hunt him down?!"

"It's his only chance of clearing his name, Barry," Eddie says with a slight frown. "He might even be able to work out some deal with the city this way, get some official backing or something like that. Otherwise, if he keeps doing what he's doing after being warned off by the police, then he doesn't have even the excuse of ignorance anymore. He's breaking the law, Barry. I know it doesn't always seem that way - he's right out of the comic books, isn't he? - but it's like that vigilante in Starling, the one who murders people -"

"The Arrow doesn't murder people anymore," Barry protests weakly, still reeling.

"And, what, that somehow excuses the murders he already committed while he was still going as the Hood?" Eddie says skeptically.

“We don’t even know if this Arrow guy is the same guy as the Hood,” Barry points out, feeling a bit guilty, because he happens to know that they are the same person.

Also, that's a good point about those past murders...

“There can’t be that many super-athletic archers willing to become vigilantes,” Eddie objects. He has a point, though Barry’s pretty sure Oliver’s mentioned there being at least three or four. Though now that Barry thinks about it, that does seem like an unusually high number of people to interested in a very specific combination of parkour, martial arts and archery... "Either way, just because some people think they're above the law to the point that they can take it into their own hands doesn't mean they should be doing it."

"But - but what if the things these people are fighting are something the police can't fight?"

"That's why this task force is analytical in nature," Eddie explains. "If we figure out that this Flash guy really is doing stuff that we can't - which I personally don't think is the case, but Iris disagrees with me - then Captain Snart is willing to cut him a break and say he's been working under a citizens' arrest sort of deal. Maybe even hire him to work with the CCPD. But first we have to find him."

It's a good plan. A solid plan.

If it wasn't being suggested by a supervillain, Barry might even be tempted to agree with it.

It's not that he has anything against working with the CCPD, after all - it's not even a bad idea, he's not sure why Team Flash didn't think of it - but the fact that Captain Cold is involved...

Not good.

"Anyway, you know how Joe feels about Captain Snart," Eddie says ruefully. "He nearly bit my head off about joining the task force - right before he turned around and asked me to keep him updated about it. But either way, Iris thought Joe would be happy to hear that she'd have police protection in all future dealings with the Flash, but instead he blew his lid when he found out about it, probably because the police protection is Captain Snart."

Yeah, Barry's not feeling too happy about that either.

It'd never even occurred to him that he was taking Iris' unflinching support of the Flash - even in the face of his own half-hearted arguments against the Flash that he'd made in the hopes that she'd drop the blog thing like Joe wanted - for granted.

He just - it's Iris. She's always been on his side, even when she didn't know it was him.

And now she's been tricked into being on the supervillain's side, instead.

Barry doesn't even know what Captain Cold wants!

And worst of all, what if Barry's sinking suspicions are right and Captain Cold's not a supervillain? What if he's exactly what he claims to be: a cop worried about a vigilante gone wild? A vigilante with unimaginable powers?

Wasn't that why Cisco built the cold gun, after all? He'd been worried about Barry turning out to be just like all those other metas, the ones that abused their powers and went evil; it was only after he got to know Barry that he realized that Barry wouldn't do that.

The CCPD don't know the Flash is Barry. They barely even have confirmed proof of his existence. No wonder they're suspicious!

And, more to the point, why hasn't Barry thought of any of this? He's a CSI! He works with the police! He knows most of the laws by heart! But he's just been going along with it, not thinking about it, feeling like it was just out of a comic book, just like Eddie said, instead of thinking about the real world applications of what he was doing -

His phone goes off.

"Sorry," he says to Eddie, who waves a permissive hand, and answers. "Barry Allen."

"Barry, we need you to come down to STAR Labs right now," Wells says urgently. "Something's come up on Cisco's screens. He's not in right now - I sent him out for something, but I'll go myself to find him and bring him back - we need your help!"

"I'll be there ASAP," Barry says, alarmed by the unprecedented concern in Wells' voice. He hangs up and looks at Eddie.

"Guess lunch would've been canceled anyway," Eddie says with a laugh. "I'll tell the boys you took a half-day off, yeah?"

"You're the best," Barry tells him, simultaneously wishing it wasn't the case so that he could be properly jealous and also happy for Iris' sake that it is true. "Thanks, man."

"No problem."

The second Eddie is out the door, Barry is in the Flash suit and running towards STAR Labs.

He's got a crisis of conscience, yes, but his friends might be in danger; his crisis of conscience can wait.

Right now, they need him to be the Flash.

He runs.

And as he runs, someone else suddenly runs, too, runs at his speed, runs faster than his speed, runs right next to him, turns his face to look at Barry, his face, a face that Barry knows from his nightmares -

The Man in Yellow.

The man who killed Barry's mother.

He's back.

[texastheband]

Texas: Is not from Texas; Has never been there; Has a terrific debut LP

By Kim Reed Taken from "Pulse !", the US Tower Records magazine, September 1989 Transcription by Sophie van Rooijen

Texas is a band of multiple ironies. It takes its name from a state with powerful images and traditions, yet it hails from Glasgow, Scotland. Its members are barely out of their teens, yet the band sounds like it's been playing for years. And its debut LP – Southside – offers ample proof that Texas is gonna be around for a long time. Sydney's winter sun slips under the Harbour Bridge as Texas – a talented group from the unlikely locale of Scotland that has released one of the most stunning debut LPs in recent memory – enters the Sebel Townhouse for its last interview of the day. Post-concert parties are frequent in the cozy bar of the Sebel, where the walls (decorated with hundreds of glossy eight-by-tens) have absorbed many a tale. Lead singer Sharleen Spiteri and guitarist Ally McErlaine retire to one of the adjacent alcoves. Both members are eager to talk, despite the fact that they've probably relayed the basic history of the band to the press over and over ad nauseum since Mercury/PolyGram released its first single, "I Don't Want a Lover," earlier this year. The album, Southside, followed on its heels. “We toured the U.K. extensively before the album came out,” Spiteri begins. “When it was released there it entered the charts at number three and then went straight to gold. Even the record company was surprised because they really hadn't done anything or pulled all of the strings.” In fact, not only did Phonogram (the U.K. parent company of the band's label, Mercury) take a conservative approach in promoting Texas, it was downright blasé about the band since it was signed three years ago. Which is not to say that the label was unsupportive; on more than one occasion Texas got itself in a sticky situation and the record company came to its rescue. Three years ago, Spiteri was on her way to international status as a hairdresser when a friend told her about a band that his friend was putting together. He convinced her to take her guitar down and play a few songs with him. The result was an invitation to form a band. Despite McErlaine's affinity for Cooder's fretwork, the Texans are adamant that the name for their group evolved after they had developed their unique brand of contemporary blues. “We saw the movie 'Paris, Texas,'” explains Spiteri patiently, “and we just liked everything about it. We liked the soundtrack, too, but everything in the film is just so open. And, in turn, we feel that our music is very open and sparse.” Apparently, the name didn't evoke the wrath many had predicted when Texas started taking off, and it has been the freshness of McErlaine's playing and the natural power and control of Spiteri's singing that has been attracting all the attention. “Johnny and I got together and wrote a few songs,” says Spiteri, referring to bass player John McElhorne, “and then sent them off to various record companies. Within weeks Phonogram signed us up without ever seeing us play !��� It's a story that every frustrated musician cringes upon hearing, but the fantasy sequence stops there. “Only a couple weeks after we signed I got a call from Chic producer Bernard Edwards telling me that he'd heard our tape and he wanted us to go to L.A. to record,” she explains, “but he had a lot of personal problems, and after a month we ended up scrapping everything and going home.” “It was a great learning experience for me because it was the first time I had worked with a producer,” she continues. “Things just didn't work out, though, and I guess I discovered that everybody isn't nice.” When Spiteri and McElhorne returned to Glasgow, their hometown, they concentrated on getting the band together, and that's when guitar-mad McErlaine was enlisted to join Texas. He had a reputation for skipping school in order to stay home and practice the licks of his idols, players like Keith Richards and Ry Cooder. “The band had lost a lot of money trying to record in the States,” says McErlaine, taking up the story of how Texas floundered before hitting paydirt. “When I joined the band we tried a few other producers in Glasgow in order to do it as cheaply as we could, but things weren't working out, and so we scrapped them, and there was more debt.” Eventually Texas connected with producer Tim Palmer, who has worked with Robert Plant (Now and Zen), the Mission, Mighty Lemon Drops and David Bowie's Tin Machine. His enthusiasm for the band's material and his easygoing manner endeared Palmer to the band, and he's already been enlisted to produce the next album. The other two members brought experience into the studio – McElhone had worked with Altered Images and Hipsway; drummer Stuart Kerr had been with the group Love and Money. With Spiteri and McErlaine, they were able to maintain the sound they'd developed, which was not dramatically altered by Palmer in the studio. “What Tim really did for us was give us confidence,” says McErlaine, while ordering some potent Red Back beer. “We just wanted to make an album that we wanted to hear.” “The album is really one long story about our lives in the past three and a half years,” says Spiteri. “We really put our necks on the line for this record and we fought for everything.” “People told us that 'I Don't Want a Lover' was too long because it was over four minutes, but we refused to let them edit it,” adds McErlaine. “They told us that radio wouldn't play it, but we said that if radio liked the song, they'd take it no matter what.” The band's insistence paid off, as “I Don't Want a Lover” can be heard on a majority of the globe's seven continents these days. “Lover” – with its atmospheric slide guitar runs knifing through a (now standard) modern MTV-pop synth/guitar/walloping drums rhythm track, over which Spiteri's husky contralto lays down the law – is, like the remainder of Southside, uncommonly confident for such a young band. You know how some records just sound like smash hits, even on the first listen? Southside sounds massive, with at least three other potential chartbusters – “Tell Me Why,” “Everyday Now” and “Thrill Has Gone” – lurking in the album's grooves. Texas' sound is a unique reflection of the music that has been imported to Scotland via radio, TV, records and tapes. And by the friends of Texas who sought out the rock, pop, soul and blues of North America on their trips overseas. “My dad was in the navy and went to San Francisco during the flower power days and brought back all these records,” says Spiteri, laughing. “'These Boots Were Made for Walking' by Nancy Sinatra was one of the first records I can remember listening to. But my dad's also a big Stones fan, and he even gets into Beatles vs. Stones arguments with people!” Spiteri cites Billie Holiday, Patsy Cline and Sarah Vaughn as her biggest influences; she also admits that critics who compare her to former Lone Justice singer Maria McKee aren't far off. McErlaine doesn't hesitate when naming London Calling by the Clash as his first album purchase. The names of guitarists Jimmy Page, Keith Richards, Eddie Van Halen, The Edge and Peter Buck also creep into his conversation, and it isn't hard to see what other albums and tapes he checked out in order to forge his slide guitar style. Radio is definitely not an influence on Scots who wish to discover the talents of artists outside the mainstream. “Radio stations in Britain are so conservative,” Spiteri moans. “It's all monopolized by the government, and Radio One seems to have a playlist of about 20 records. That's all you hear.” Spiteri and McErlaine like to reflect on the quick rise of Texas and with it the newfound freedom of leaving your past behind, not always a pleasant thing when you're used to a close group of family and friends. “It's very weird traveling to different countries,” says McErlaine. “You know how it is when you go home at night and you feel very comfortable? Well, now we don't have that security.” “Plus, when you go on the road,” adds Spiteri, “you become like a little family. You try to stay in touch with reality, but you can understand how some people lose it after so many years.” “But when you go back to Glasgow it brings you right down again,” says McErlaine. “Like, my dad's unemployed and I feel very lucky to be doing this. You know, my friends won't even tell me that they have a copy of our album! Sometimes we'll go to friends' houses and you'll hear our album blaring out from the living room, but as soon as you arrive at the door, it's off.” The down-to-earth attitude that Spiteri and McErlaine have toward their music (and the music business) is not as unique as it is refreshing. “Sometimes it's hard to believe that we're in a real band,” says McErlaine. “It's like when we were in Ireland for some Irish music awards,” Spiteri says. “We were just standing there watching everybody when they started saying 'U2 are here! U2 are here!' Suddenly somebody tapped Johnny on the shoulder and there's Bono and The Edge standing there! Bono says, 'I just wanted to tell you that I really like your record.' I think my jaw dropped wide open and we didn't stop smiling all night.” “We know that they're real people like us,” says McErlaine, “but we've grown up loving their music and still respect them. Now we're in the situation where we can talk to these people. Like when we met Robert Plant when we were doing the album. He had that voice that you've heard a million times on record !” Not all their meetings are as pleasant, however. “Sometimes we'll be taping a TV show or something and I'll say something to one of the other bands there, “Spiteri says, “and they'll just ignore you. Some people really do have problems. “We always think that civility costs nothing,” she continues. “You're nobody special if you are in a band; it's just a job.” Unlike most professions, however, musicians are fair game for the media. As the band is finding out, music journalists have incompetents in their ranks like everybody else. “We had one reviewer at our gigs who wrote that he didn't like the way our guitarist was standing!” Spiteri recalls. “And we think to ourselves, 'This is supposed to be a music paper?' The article went on to say nothing about the music or the songs we wrote, but at the end he wrote, 'Texas are a very good band.'” Live performance is the band's current focus, and it puts the group in a put-up-or-shut-up situation with the press and punters alike. Spiteri agrees that Texas' material like “Thrill Has Gone,” “Tell Me Why,” “Future is Promises” and the band favorite “Fight the Feeling,” is much harder to play live now than it was before going into the studio. The precision that Palmer helped the band achieve has a sharper edge than its previous rehearsal halls of Glasgow sound. The material on Southside, even after a few listens, is so sophisticated and mature that virtually anyone hearing the album will swear that the band must be longtime veterans of the music business. The album's 10 tracks (the compact disc contains the bonus track “Faith”) contain music so rich and full that it's leaving journalists scrambling for yet another way to say “brilliant”. Texas' material is completely original – with obvious influences by Cooder, Richard et al. in the guitar department – and the sound is not only a surprising hybrid, but one that's decidedly non-Celtic. Simple Minds, Big Country, Aztec Camera and newer outfits like Gun and Slide have nothing on these guys. The band is already responding to the pressure that comes with this type of recognition. “We know that there is a lot expected of us for the second album,” says Spiteri, “but we won't go into the studio until next year because we don't want to get off tour and go in tired and bored. This is very important to us, and we're not going to rush into anything.” “We recorded Southside in two and a half months,” McErlaine adds. “So we know that we don't need a year in the studio. But, we want to do it right.” Doing it right means heading back to the States for a tour of the clubs in August and September before returning to Europe for another sweep across venues teeming with an ever-growing number of Texas converts. The band has chosen to play the smaller clubs in preference to supporting a major artist in a stadium tour, and this game plan may just work. Countrymen Simple Minds did three pub tours of Australia before cracking it overseas. Now it's up to the denizens of the U.S. to decide whether to embrace a Scottish band, bold enough to name itself Texas, that has made the rootiest, most American-sounding record of the year. The welcome mat, unused as of late, is all theirs.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Do you have any autism headcanons for the IT kids?

wELL SINCE YOU ASKED

Bill 

His bike’s named Silver because The Lone Ranger was a special interest of his, this is basically canon

Hyperfocuses SO MUCH, to the point where he could be talking about one thing nonstop for days. (which could be either good or bad in context of hunting down the alien monster that murdered his brother)

Okay the scene in the movie where the kids are all like “What are we doing tomorrow??” and Bill’s like “Um we’re going to the SEWERS, remember???” That was such a mood… because like when you’ve got a routine planned and your friends forget it can get real upsetting

Learned most of his social skills from imitating neurotypical people

Sensitive to a lot of textures, definitely cuts the tags off of his shirts and refuses to wear certain kinds of clothes because they feel bad

Ben 

Obvs in the film he’s got a huge special interest in local history, infodumps like CRAZY (also movie!ben probably has a nkotb special interest)

Prefers books to social interaction because at least books don’t have shit like nonverbal cues and sarcasm

Got a huge fascination for Architecture and Building Design

Does not understand verbal instruction at all. His teacher could tell him three times how to do his assignment but he still wouldn’t get it and has to ask Stan to explain it to him

It takes him a really long time to understand jokes and sarcasm, especially when it’s directed at him. unfortunately this means that he rarely picks up on when Richie’s trying to be funny, as much as he wants to

Bev 

Huge sense of justice and morality

Incredibly blunt towards everyone outside of her family (see the book line: “I hope I pass!” “I don’t give a shit if I do or not”)

Usually has a lot of trouble distinguishing between her emotions

She’s definitely the Loser with the weirdest food preferences, surpassing even Richie. When they watched The Breakfast Club she immediately decided it was a good idea to make a Cap’n-Crunch-Pixy-Stix Sandwich. Nobody has recovered since.

No sense of temperature. She’ll wear tank tops in winter and sweaters in summer, and she’ll look damn good doing it

Eddie 

Really sensitive to certain textures, will only wear certain clothing and refuses to wear anything else. Really fucking hates wearing suits and ties 

Unfortunately for him, he got a special interest in medicine around the time his hypochondria was starting to develop. So he knows a lot more than would help his anxiety lol

His Mother did not like his stimming at all, but the Losers are super cool with it. He mostly rocks back and forth and stuff like that, but he also is in love with weighted blankets

Eddie’s infodumps tend to come across as rants and so the other kids just think of him as the angry small talkative one

Soooo stubborn when it comes to his plans/routines, gets super pissed when he gets thrown off 

Mike

Hyper-empathetic, often picks up on the Losers’ emotions before they do

His parents are/were Autistic too and Mike and his Dad usually had similar special interests. Mike also bonds with Ben over their mutual special interests in History

At first he assumed he had trouble talking to other kids because he didn’t socialize much, but it turns out, nope, he just doesn’t understand social communication or conversations 

He definitely collects things like pretty rocks or cool figurines and keeps them in a nice box. The Losers give him all the cool things they find and he keeps their gifts in a special box

Really loves living on the farm for the most part: he’s got a routine, he rarely gets overstimulated, and he likes getting up early and watching the sunrise

Stan 

SPECIAL INTEREST IN BIRDS

His sense of humor is odd af and he laughs at his own jokes that nobody else seems to get (see: ”kooky kooky lend me your bones”)

Is seriously pissed off when his routine is changed

Gets really anxious in crowds, and gets easily overstimulated. His friends picked up on this and are pretty good at finding him somewhere quiet to calm down

Doesn’t really understand any kind of social norms, or very many rules, or the reason he can’t play frisbee with the expensive plates

Richie 

I mean… we’ve all seen how he talks to people this boy has NO idea what a socially acceptable conversation is 

Stims all the time, couldn’t care less if he’s in public. He’ll be in the middle of a store and, huh, guess we’re jumping up and down and flapping, shut up Bill it’s not like I care what the adults are thinking rn

Cannot regulate volume or figure out when people want him to shut up, which, like, mood

If he’s not mentally stimulated, he’s not paying attention. He’ll get distracted when things are too boring or too repetitive, and has wandered into his own little world more times than he probably should have

Incredibly uncoordinated, could not balance to save the life of him

tl;dr the losers club are autistic now

{stranger things autism headcanons}

[zillanewt]

Merc With A Trashmouth

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

summary: Despite growing up in Derry together, the two boys went down two very different paths. Richie is the world’s most notorious mercenary and assassin, while Eddie is none other than New York’s sweetheart - the literal poster boy for bringing justice to baddies without unaliving them. This is the self-indulgent spideypool!reddie au that literally nobody asked for.

pairing: reddie

words: 2.3K

warnings: general lewdness, non-graphic violence, the loss of a limb.

A/N: holy shit so i didnt expect this to get such a positive response like it did???? im just going to say that since this is a spideypool au, im literally not going to skimp out on any of the deadpool stuff, including the scarring and the angst. oh yeah and i was worried about this being too out of character and just becoming literally spiderman and deadpool, rather than richie and eddie, but since their dynamic is the exact same, i think it blends quite nicely. the dialog between them is the easiest thing to write in this fic. Please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!

For some stupid fucking reason, Richie must’ve expected finding Eddie to be a lot easier than it actually was, which was completely unrealistic because there must be at least two million people in Queens alone. It wasn’t like the file actually helped any. There was an address scribbled inside it, but it had to be an old one because when Richie went, all he found was a delightful old Thai lady. Much to his dismay, Eddie could be literally anywhere in New York, and Richie had no clue where to start.

All he really wanted to do was crawl back to his shitty bar in Canada and pretend he had never even heard Eddie’s name in first place.

Seriously, he’s been around to literally every pharmacy and Starbucks (he knows that boy must drink pumpkin spice lattes) in Queens, and there are still no leads, just dirty looks due to the suit. At least, he left his guns in the hotel room. He learned on a job a couple years ago that NYPD does not fucking play around.

Every single day he’s still there, the lack of action causes cells in Richie’s brain to shrivel, and he just wants to fucking scream, because god dammit..he needs to shoot something. He has been in New York for a total of 5 days, and that’s a lot of days to go without unaliving somebody. All he needs to do is find Eddie, make sure nobody’s done anything stupid, and go the fuck back home, so he can continue playing with Bea and Arthur.

Perhaps, he wasn’t meant to find Eddie, in all honesty. The guy is probably married with a kid or two, doing god knows what American dream job. Richie can tell from personal experience that when Derry memories flood back into your life, it’s like watching a grotesque monster infecting and suffocating anything good you currently have. Derry kids so rarely had the chance of happiness, so who was Richie to waltz into Eddie and rub his excess Derry angst all over Eddie’s perfect life.

But, would any of the Losers grant Richie the same kindness if the roles were reversed and he lived a happy life?

Yes....actually.

Damn his friends for being thoughtful and ethical!

Rationally, he should just give up his search and look for the nearest seedy titty bar to crawl into, while he still has his dignity and Eddie has his.

But, Richie always kinda sucked at being rational.

Most people had their heads to be reasonable over their hearts and dicks, but Richie’s head was just as irrational as the latter two.

Richie giggled to himself on a full subway car, earning the glare of a very scary looking Puerto Rican woman. “You said head,” he mumbled to himself, still immaturely sputtering out laughs.

Like the dumbass he was, Richie decided the best course of action would be to track Spider-Man rather than Eddie. Spider-Man was broadcasted all the time. At any given time, there was a camera ready to film that cute little bubble butt every time a baddie caused some big explosion or killed some people.

If Eddie was Spider-Man, then Richie just had to find Spidey and let him know there’s a hit out on his secret identity. Then, he could finally get the fuck out of New York City!

***********

Six days later, Richie began to realize his plan wasn’t as genius as he expected it to be. Mass destruction doesn’t just happen every day in New York, surprisingly. That wasn’t to say Spider-Man wasn’t active on the streets every day. It just wasn’t exactly news. Crime happens. Spider-Man stops it. Yawn.

He supposes he’d just have to find out what route Spider-Man takes his patrol on because there was no way he was blowing anything up to attract the guy. The feds were already on his ass because he “assassinated over 150 American citizens.” Pffft. Like he didn’t kill anybody who didn’t deserve it. His victims were always drug lords, pedophiles, and other scumbag criminals because he still had a moral code (thank you very much!).

It shouldn’t take this fucking long to find one guy. He’s an assassin for fuck's sake!

He began to question locals about Spider-Man sightings, though most of them just talked about the footage they’ve seen on the news.

It wasn’t until he came across a Deli owner in Queens that he found an actual lead, completely by accident. Truthfully, he just wanted a roast beef sandwich. He wasn’t looking for anything.

“Man, how hard is it to find Spider-Man in this town?” Richie said conversationally, leaning against the counter while the owner sliced the meat.

The mustachioed man looked him over cautiously, then spoke in a gruff voice. “I thought all youse masked freaks knew each other or something. Are you tellin’ me there’s not a giant bat signal shining out each of your assholes so youse can locate each other?”

For the first time since he came to New York, Richie busted out laughing so hard that he was hunched over and slightly crying.

Thank god for vulgar Deli owners!

As the man finished making the sandwich and rung it up at the register, he still kept a judgemental eye on Richie. When he finally determined Richie wasn’t a threat, he chose to continue speaking.

“Spider-Man comes swinging over this street right here every night,” he gestured out the window. “We appreciate having him in the neighborhood. Stopped my niece from getting mugged. He seems like a good kid...whoever he is.”

Immediately, Richie reached across the counter and grabbed the man’s face with both hands. Before the man could cold-cock him, Richie placed a chaste kiss through his mask the man’s mouth.

“You have just made my decade, buddy,” Richie shouted, throwing a 20 on the counter and snatching up his sandwich. “Keep the change!”

As he ran out the door, he exclaimed to himself, “I can finally get out of this godforsaken city and go home to my sweet, sweet Canada.”

*********

He camped out on the roof of one of the apartment buildings, after convincing an old blind woman to let him in the building because “his son locked him out.” All he had to do now was wait for Spidey.

He was like one of those animals that preyed on spiders.

Lizards??

At least, he thinks lizards eat spiders.

From this day forward, Richie Tozier a.k.a Deadpool a.k.a Trashmouth a.k.a the Sexiest Man Alive was now officially a lizard.

What a day.

At about one in the morning, Richie, sure enough, spotted Spider-Man in all his spandex glory swinging towards him. Before the little fucker could pass over him and get away, Richie stood up and shouted “Spidey!” at the top of his lungs.

Sure enough, Spider-Man noticed the antihero, standing in all his red and black, weapon yielding glory. But, he wasn’t as thrilled to see Richie as he thought the hero might be. Because, Richie is a gay dumbass, he didn’t consider the fact Spider-Man did everything by the books and was a goody-two-shoes, while Richie had been suspected of over 150 murder charges in the United States alone. So it shouldn’t have been a shock when Spider-Man immediately webbed him to the roof before landing.

“Oh wow. This is kinky,” Richie purred, wiggling underneath the webbing.

“Shut up, Deadpool!” Eddie shouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “What are you doing in my city?”

This definitely wasn’t the time to say anything to agitate the arachnid, but Richie once traded in his self-control for a pretty radical shirt.

He blew a raspberry, then opened his mouth, “like this is your city.”

Everything about this situation annoyed Eddie. It was supposed to be an easy, pleasant patrol with maybe some carjackers, not Deadpool! The man wiggling around on the roof seemed almost bored already with the conversation going on, and he insulted Eddie outright.

Eddie crouched next to Deadpool, prepared to cock him in the jaw for that comment. “Excuse me?”

The merc turned his head to look Eddie in the eye as best as he could with the masks on. “You heard me, Spidey. This isn’t your city. Derry is. Am I correct?”

For a split second, Eddie flinched away from the antihero as if he had been burned, then the shock was immediately replaced with indignation and rage. How dare anybody mention Derry’s existence in his presence! Doesn’t this guy understand how hard he worked to claw his way out of that hellhole?!

Richie sees the anger outlined on Eddie’s mask, the way his jaw and fist clenches, yet he’s completely defenseless. He’s sure he could take whatever beating Eddie could give him, but he sure wouldn’t enjoy it (despite what some people in Hong Kong might tell you).

“I was gonna be nice and leave you webbed to the roof for a couple hours,” Eddie strained through gritted teeth. “But, I guess I’ll just deliver you to the feds mysel-”

“Your name is Eddie Kaspbrak,” Richie interrupted, maintaining utter calmness and seriousness. “Your mom’s name is Sonia Kaspbrak. Your dad died of cancer when you were 5. Your first kiss was with Bill Denbrough during a game of spin the bottle when you were 14. You love the color pink, even though your mother would never let you wear it because it was ‘a color for queers.’ Oh yeah! And, your childhood best friend was Richie Tozier, who you promised to marry as an adult when you were 8.”

Though neither noticed, they both swallowed thickly at the last part. All the tension and anger flooded from Eddie’s body and was replaced by confusion with every word.

“Who are you?” Eddie whispered softly, sitting near Richie’s body.

“Uh-uh, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie scolded, “let me out of your web, and we’ll talk. I’m not going to be privy to your dungeon porn hour.”

The other man looked skeptical, as expected, but he knew he could easily overpower Deadpool if he tried anything, Carefully, he began ripping away his webbings and releasing Richie. All the while, Richie quietly observed him. It seemed as if Eddie’s heart was going to beat out of his chest.

When Richie was finally free, Eddie stared at him expectantly.

“Richie,” the merc muttered under his breath, brushing excess web away from his suit.

“What?” Eddie demanded.

“Richie,” he repeated louder, looking Eddie straight in the face. “My name is Richie Tozier.”

Eddie scoffed and stood up. “Bye, Deadpool.”

As Richie watched Eddie prepare to swing away from the roof and ruin his weeks of hard work, he decided the only appropriate course of action would be to appeal to Spidey’s sense of goodness. A few feet away from him, there was a ventilation system with Big Sharp Blades.

Perfect!

Quickly, he got up and strolled over to the system, sticking his right arm completely. He let out some fake screams, along with actual real grunts of pain. Though he knew the fucker would grow back, losing an arm was literally always going to be painful no matter what. As predicted, the hero turned around at the sound of the screams and immediately ran over.

“Deadpool! What the fuck!”

“Look, Eddie! I’m Georgie,” Richie giggled, which broke out into maniacal laughter. It soon died down, then he deadpanned, “oh yeah. Wrong universe. You won’t get that joke.”

Richie was mentally patting himself on the back for yet another genius idea, as Eddie picked him up and slung him over his shoulders, piggyback style. Wow, this boy was strong. Richie would have to store that knowledge in the wank bank.

“Are you a fucking lunatic?!” Eddie demanded as he began swinging through the air.

A little delirious giggle from the blood loss escaped Richie. “Crazy’s my middle name,” he paused. “Wait. No, it’s actually not. It’s Michael. But, Crazy seems more rad.”

Loudly, Eddie groaned, mourning the loss of his nice easy night on patrol.

“I am so dumping you at a hospital.”

“No hospitals,” Richie said firmly.

“Where the fuck else am I supposed to take you?” the other snapped.

“Your apartment.”

Richie could practically feel the eye roll. “You know this was a lot of effort to get into my pants, but I’m not going to sleep with you while you’re bleeding everywhere.”

“So, you’d sleep with me if I wasn’t bleeding everywhere?”

Suddenly, the spot where Richie’s chest was resting on Eddie’s shoulders felt slightly warmer, and if Richie didn’t know any better, he’d say the man was blushing.

“Shut up, asshole! Give me one good reason why I should take you to my apartment.”

Dramatically, Richie cleared his throat, “because my arm will grow back, first of all.” Eddie turned his head slightly to see a small tiny hand poking out of what was a bloody open wound not five minutes ago. It gave a tiny little wave at him. Every thought he ever had about Deadpool being attractive shriveled in literally five seconds as he grimaced underneath his mask at the little hand.

“Second of all, I gave you literally every reason to believe I’m Richie Tozier, yet you still won’t listen to me! Do I have to start whipping out the cringy middle school memories to get you to believe me or what? Because I personally remember the “Eddie’s Booty Jams” mixtape. The ‘80s definitely weren’t as cool as everyone made them out to be.”

It was quiet for a long time, just the sounds of New York below them.

“If I take you to my apartment, will you shut up?” Eddie sighed, no longer willing to fight this crazy situation.

“Gladly, baby boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie honestly debated dropping him from this height.

“God, I hate you,” Eddie muttered. “And for your information, I would literally never sleep with you now that I’ve seen your weird baby hand.”

“So, I had a chance before!?”

Eddie groaned, not for the last time.

taglist:  @eds2fannypacks, @welctothelosersclub, @its-stranger-than-you-think, @reddiietoship, @richietoaster, @hickey-richie, @dandeliontozier, @kaspbrck, @yalocalemo, @hearteyes-m

[kierantc-blog]

DC Rebirth In Review - The Batman Family

With Doomsday Clock just around the corner and with the Rebirth branding ending too, i thought i would look back at how Rebirth has done for each and every on-going that has come out.

So here’s the next chapter in the series, the previous chapter on the Superman family can be read here, but in this chapter we will be talking about the Batman Family of comics.

Batman - I am a fan of Tom King, his work on Vision, Omega Men and Grayson are amazing, but i am not a fan of Tom King on Batman. His story telling feels muddled at times with what is going on on the page, take the I Am Suicide story for instance, was Bruce and Selina telling each other how they feel really the right back drop for a prison escape plot? It also feels like King likes to tell rather than show, which is the wrong attitude to have in a comic book. The War Of Jokes & Riddles was hit and miss at most when the potential it had was immense, and that seems to be the trap that King is falling into right now. Can’t fault the artwork on this book at all, Finch and Janin provide some of the best and most consistent work for a bi-monthly book, but it’s a shame the writing isn’t doing it justice. - 6/10

Detective Comics - For me, Detective Comics is the definitive Bat-family book of Rebirth, Tynion has managed to turn the long running series into a team book with relative ease. The first issue of the series sees Bruce reveal himself as Batman to his cousin Kate Kane AKA Batwoman, to which she laughs and says she always knew. Together they recruit Tim Drake (Red Robin), Stephanie Brown (Spoiler), Cassandra Cain (Orphan) and Clayface to form a team and set up a new base called The Belfry, which stands in the middle of Gotham. The premise alone is worth the buy but the characterisations are fantastic too, particularly with Clayface. Traditionally a villain, Basil Karlo joins the team with the promise from Bruce that he can get his life back, and its his ascendance from a villain to a hero in his own right that shows what this book is capable of doing. Tynion is onto something with this series and i hope he is on it for a long time to come. The only downside is that inconsistent art teams on the series, Eddy Barrows and  Alvaro Martinez provide artwork for the first dozen or so issues but on an inconsistent basis that makes it jarring if you read in trades. - 9/10

All-Star Batman - I really enjoy Scott Snyder’s work, he likes to tell big stories and isn’t afraid of rocking out in the process. The first story revolves around Bruce and Duke trying to transport Two-Face to a location for a cure to his mental illness but being stopped along the way by all manner of criminals looking to collect on a bounty put up by Harvey’s bad side. The back up story about Duke is rather interesting because it reveals for the first time that Duke is in fact a meta-human, the story ended but is going to be picked up in Metal at some stage i believe as well as the upcoming Batman: The Signal mini-series. The artwork of the series has been surprisingly experimental in places but it’s also been very good. A very good series, any time Snyder writes Batman you’re in for a treat but the series did feel like it had ran out of steam a little bit with the last arc. Still, a must-read for Batman fans, especially those who loved the New 52 series. - 8/10

Batgirl - A so-so series thus far, Hope Larson falls into the trap of having to serve up Barbara Gordon a love interest in each arc and it becomes predictable when a single young male turns up on the scene that Babs is going to have feelings for them. Was not a fan of Albuquerque on art, it felt very rushed, but Chris Wildgoose stepped up and brought a sense of the familiar when Batgirl returned to Burnside. There’s lot of work to do to get this series to be a must-read. - 5/10

Nightwing - The book picks up from the end of Grayson as well as Robin War with Dick Grayson returning to his classic blue Nightwing costume in order to go undercover at the Court of Owls, and later he returns to his pre-Flashpoint home of Bludhaven. Writer Tim Seeley takes on Dick Grayson minus his Grayson cohort Tom King and he brings a sense of stability to the series that some will find comforting if they’re moving over from Grayson to this book. Seeley hasn’t been afraid to take risks with Nightwing and it pays off with some really personal story telling later on in the series that will call back to the days of Grant Morrison’s Batman & Robin run. Coupled with the nice artwork from Javier Fernandez, Marcus To and Minkyu Jung, Nightwing has been one of the more consistently enjoyable books of Rebirth and is well worth checking out. - 8.5/10

Batgirl & The Birds Of Prey - In stark comparison to the other Batgirl title, this one is incredibly well written by the Benson sisters (who are also writers on the excellent TV show The 100) and while the artwork hasn’t been the best, it’s still perfectly serviceable and doesn’t spoil the book at all. The writing almost makes me feel like the Benson sisters are acting out the script of each issue because the conversations between Barbara, Helena and Dinah feel so natural and funny too. This book is easily one of the most underrated of Rebirth, it should just be Birds Of Prey though. The recent additions of Catwoman and Poison Ivy to the line up has been refreshing to the series too, so hopefully the Bensons are free to be a bit more liberal with the line up. - 9/10

Red Hood & The Outlaws - If someone told me in January 2016 that i would be recommending a Scott Lobdell series i would have laughed in their face, but here we are and i’m about to eat some serious humble pie. RHATO is not only one of the best written series in Rebirth but also one of the best looking ones too. Pairing Jason Todd with Artemis (not the one from Young Justice) and Bizarro was a stroke of genius. Artemis challenges Jason to be a more moral man and Bizarro brings out a side of Jason that can only be described really as fatherly. Their moniker of the “Dark Trinity” is not very accurate as there’s not much dark about them, except that they are willing to do things that the classic Trinity are not. Lobdell strikes a great serious tone with a funny one too but he doesn’t overdo it like he has with his other works. Perhaps the only complaint i would have is that he’s yet to have that big storyline just yet that makes you go “fuck yeah!” but i’m sure it’s coming. The artwork by Dexter Soy and colourist Veronica Gandini is so incredibly well done too, with fantastic detail and colour and an almost anime feel to it. Just like New Super-Man, this book flies under the radar for most people but it is well worth reading. - 9.5/10

Batman Beyond - My first big exposure to Batman Beyond was via the Futures End series so some of the references and characters are a little lost on me. The story telling beats are solid though and the art is very nice. Probably one for the die-hards though. - 7/10

Batwoman - This was one of the first Wave 2 books and is only a handful of issues in, but so far i really like it. I’m not sure how the writing duties work with Marguerite Bennett and James Tynion on the title but it’s clear the book is well plotted. Steve Epting on art duties provides a moody backdrop to the series that suits it well, but i wonder how it would translate to other locales. Solid so far, can’t wait to see where Kate Kane goes from here and teaming her up with Alfred’s daughter Julia is a big plus too. - 7/10

Conclusions

The Bat Family of books have always maintained a high level of quality and that continues into Rebirth. It’s strange but the only two books i have problems with are the ones that were very popular in the New 52 era, Batman and Batgirl. I don’t see changes happening any time soon though, Batman is still DC’s biggest selling comic and Batgirl is still popular in her Burnside guise too, but i would like to see a change in writer for each book to change things up a little bit.

Just like with the Superman Family of books, the big winners from Rebirth are the ones who were let down by the New 52 era such as Tim Drake and Jason Todd. A real sense of legacy is coming out of these books right now and it’s a great time to be a Batman fan.

Thanks for reading!

Next up: The Justice League!

[ramajmedia]

IT Chapter 2 Characters Sorted Into Hogwarts Houses | ScreenRant

With the release of IT Chapter Two the epic saga of the Losers Club and their war against the demonic force most commonly referred to as Pennywise has come to it's blockbuster conclusion. And (minor spoiler alert for the information ahead) it's revealed that the dark magic that has been affecting Derry for so long has existed within the literal ground of the land since before history even began.

RELATED: 10 Great Gifts For Fans Of IT

So, with Derry situated on top of some of the most powerful mystical energy on earth, it seems like it would have helped if the town of Derry had some education in the ways of magic and how to wield it for their own safety and benefit. Namely, it would have really helped if they had their own Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. So, if the Losers Club and the rest of the Derry population had the opportunity to attend Hogwarts, which Hogwarts house would they all have ended up in?

10 The Shopkeeper - Slytherin

In a little meta wink at the audience members who are big fans of Stephen King's work, IT Chapter Two included a scene of Stephen King playing the shopkeeper in a local thrift store in Derry. The shopkeeper gouges Bill Denbrough when Bill rediscovers his old bike at the store, which goes to show that the shopkeeper is a pretty cunning and clever dude who knows how to play a situation to his advantage. Plus, wearing a face as recognizable as Stephen King's in a little Maine town of all places while still remaining inconspicuous is impressively sneaky for a supposed small town store owner.

9 Henry Bowers - Slytherin

Students who wind up in Slytherin aren't only bullies or psychopaths, but it does seem like Slytherin is home to a disproportionately high number of bullies and psychopaths. And Henry Bowers has always been an angry and scary person who loves to watch other people suffer.

RELATED: 10 Hilarious IT Memes That'll Make Pennywise Seem Hilarious

Henry may have been able to blend right in with the rest of the Slytherin students, and it's not too hard to imagine him as one of Draco Malfoy's henchmen. However, one would hope that a Slytherin education would have allowed Henry to channel more of his negative characteristics in a positive way and get him off the path of total destruction.

8 Mike Hanlon - Hufflepuff

Mike Hanlon would have undoubtedly been a superstar student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and he likely would have been a school prefect. He is also a man who was far braver than most Gryffindors and much smarter than many Ravenclaws. However, the house that suits him best is Hufflepuff. The values of Hufflepuff are a happy and peaceful home, loyalty and friendship, and a commitment to justice and fair play. That describes Mike Hanlon to a T. Hufflepuffs are often the unsung heroes of Hogwarts, but a student like Mike would have given Helga's house the opportunity to shine.

7 Ben Hascom - Ravenclaw

Like everyone else in the Losers Club outside of Mike, Ben Hanscom returns to Derry 27 years after their original fight against Pennywise playing catch up. He's trying to figure out the situation when he's already behind the curve, but he seems to be able to inherently understand and think through what needs to be done in order to effectively battle It as well as keep as many people safe as possible. Plus, it seems like Ben is a very accomplished superstar in his regular life and has coped with his childhood trauma the best out of everyone, which shows there's a big brain to go along with his big heart.

6 Stanley Uris - Hufflepuff

Honestly, if someone like Stanley Uris wound up at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry it'd be pretty ironic, because Stanley is the kind of person who would rather not be involved in the world of magic at all.

RELATED: The 10 Most Anticipated Horror Movies of 2019

Stanley was forced into the situation with It when he was a child and he is not able to cope with being dragged back into it as an adult. He's a good person and a loyal friend which makes him a good fit for Hufflepuff anyway, but it would have also been a good match because it would allow him to explore magic without any pressure to be the hero, genius, or villain.

5 Eddie Kaspbrak - Ravenclaw

Eddie Kaspbrak is yet another member of the Losers Club who was essentially conscripted into the fight against Pennywise just by virtue of who his friends were, and while he is a morally decent person he has never had a moral compulsion great enough to drive him to actually go on the offense against Pennywise. He knows that it's a fight that needs to be fought, but he doesn't want to be the one to square up. However, despite his lack of moral commitment, he is an undeniably intelligent person, sometimes to the point of his own detriment. For that reason, he's Ravenclaw.

4 Richie Tozier - Ravenclaw

Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak have one of the closest bonds in the entire Losers Club group, and it's easy to understand why. They are both pretty decent people who aren't quite morally righteous enough to want to involve themselves in a potentially deadly battle against a massive force of evil, and their desire to keep themselves safe definitely overrides most of their impulses to do the more dangerous right thing. But Richie is absolutely the most quick-witted member of the Losers Club, so he obviously would have been the rascally class clown of house Ravenclaw at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

3 Bill Denbrough - Gryffindor

Within the Losers Club in IT Chapter Two, Bill Denbrough is pretty much the alternate universe version of Neville Longbottom. He is at his heart a painfully shy and insecure individual, but he has a very strong sense of justice and has a moral backbone that drives him to do things that he would normally never think he's capable of.

RELATED: The Best Performances In Stephen King Adaptions, Ranked

And he's not being heroic because he wants to play the hero, his feelings are incredibly genuine and he feels a personal responsibility to be the one at the front of the line to fight. He is the kind of student Godric Gryffindor would have been proud to call his own.

2 Beverly Marsh - Gryffindor

Out of the entire Losers Club, Beverly Marsh is probably the toughest and bravest of all. It may be because she had the most frightening home life out of anyone, but she is truly made of steel and she is always willing to go up against an enemy that is stronger and more powerful than she is, even if their power seems almost godlike. Every member of the Club contributed something to the group overall, and what Beverly did for the rest of the Losers was give them the strength and courage to do what they were afraid of, and she did that by leading by example.

1 Pennywise - Slytherin

Pennywise is the purest evil being that the Losers Club had ever and will ever come across, but he is also a pretty complete embodiment of everything that house Slytherin is meant to value and represent. Pennywise looks out for his own interests above all other things, he feels superior to all of the humans around him and enjoys flaunting that, and he uses a lot of wily tricks and cunning maneuvers to trap all of his victims in just the way that he wants them to. Pennywise is honestly probably more Slytherin-like than Salazar Slytherin himself, which is scary.

NEXT: The 5 Best & Worst Stephen King Film Adaptations (According To IMDb)

source https://screenrant.com/it-chapter-2-characters-hogwarts-houses/

[theblacktivity-blog]

Taking The Stage

In these crazy times the ABC network special “Taking The Stage; African American Music and Stories That Changed America” was a reminder of a gallant history. It was at once a testament to the resilience of a people and in some ways, the constant invocation of that trait seem to quietly whisper to the viewers for whom it was meant: “we must begin  again to prepare ourselves”. In the main, it was a Black musical tribute celebration of the new Smithsonian National Museum of African American Art and Culture. But the panning of the camera’s throughout the Kennedy Center’s mostly Black and illustrious audience, (not the least of which included takes of President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama dancing harmoniously to the rhythms like college sweethearts reliving the conjured up memories brought on by the songs) gave it the air of pomp and circumstance. To a degree, it was the sort of thing that's met with a wink and a nod, in that it seemed very much like a celebratory send off to The First Couple and all that they mean to us in symbol and reality. And as each performer did the stage their justice, often times acknowledging the President and First Lady in the rafters, that love was radiated back in the form of warm appreciative smiles and what seemed like chest thumps and air daps sent telepathically...the Black way. The show opened up with a jovial Oprah Winfrey as host who exclaimed “Although I should open up the show by saying, ‘good evening everyone’, what I’d really like to say is hallelujah!”. Getting a rise out of the crowd as only Oprah can, and with the president and first lady looking on, she continued; "We’re here to celebrate, from our first days here as African Americans, we’ve left a record of how we felt and how we moved through life, from the spiritual side to the sexy side, life in all of its colors. Tonight is about music and it’s about memories and it’s about imagination and tonight is about taking the stage and changing America." What may have seemed on the surface like a typical awards show or tribute show introduction when looked at with more depth seemed more like a soft call to arms. It showed something of an acknowledgement of the days ahead and as usual, the role we as African Americans will have to play in bringing about and insuring justice.  Afterwards, the performances began to roll in. Beginning with a tribute to the legendary Black opera singer Marian Anderson, Mary J. Blige performed ‘My Country Tis’ Of Thee’ as a projected background of the Lincoln Memorial served to create the ambiance of the moment Anderson made history by singing on those very steps in 1939. Following was actor Jesse Williams, with an introduction to the musical form of ‘The Blues’. Amid the receding of thunderous applause, grew the somewhat tense silence of an audience more than likely familiar in some way or another with Williams’ strident and fiery oratory, the very type displayed at the 2016 BET Awards. Among the Black faces in the crowd were white ones as well, some celebrities, some carrying an air of quiet importance, all of whom visibly appeared to be on either end of a black to white spectrum. They either seemed genuinely engaged with the words of Williams as he linked the history of ‘The Blues’ to the dark legacy of chattel slavery, or developed that reddish blush indicated when some whites anxiously await guilt (real or perceived) to be transmitted into their souls via the rhetorical barbs of the smart or “radical” Black man in-residence. The air was broken when Gary Clark Jr. performed a number in the blues tradition followed by a performance by the Alvin Ailey Dance Troupe of the lyric ‘Wade In The Water’. In the lead up to the first commercial brake was an article on display at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American Art & Culture entitled; “Bill of Sale of a slave”. It’s a record dating back to 1835,  detailing the sale of a slave (more than likely a fair skinned woman) between the seller a local judge, and the buyer, both from Arkansas, right around the time when slavery was beginning to expand further westward. This intermission was timely as it highlighted the historic ills from which such a racially divided nation sprung. Then, as the show continued there was a moment of awkwardness. The type that makes one say to oneself; “And....exactly why is this?”. Dave Grohl  (former drummer for the legendary band Nirvana and Foo Fighters founder and guitarist...rock renaissance man) joined the stage with legendary go-go icon Trouble Funk as a tribute to the musical form that has its origins in the nation’s capital. Granted, Grohl did grow up near the D.C. area (northern Virginia more specifically Alexandria) and may have very well been influenced by the art form, it just seemed out of place. One wonders why not UCB and Trouble Funk? That would have been appropriate and more in tune with Washington D.C.’s historic sound. Instead what happened is overbearing guitar and vocal riffs that overpowered the very percussive rhythms for which go-go is known. Whether that was a producer or network choice, who knows? In any event it had the slight air of paternalism (no fault of Grohl to be sure) that tends to occur when white America feels the need to awkwardly force itself into spaces in the name of an over-the-top proof of solidarity with Black culture. I mean all due respect to the white brothers and sisters who are really down. Let’s be clear, we appreciate those who truly are, the Black delegation fucks with you! But sometimes we would rather you refrain from messing up the beat. Post that incident, Fantasia took us down home with her rendition of Aretha Franklin’s 1967 song Dr. Feelgood. Such a performance from the North Carolina bred songstress reminded us that there is indeed a difference between singing and sangin’. Usher’s tribute to the late great James Brown left nothing to be desired as he slid, glided, and jump-split his way all over the stage in the way only he could, clad in the flyest damn black tuxedo I’ve ever seen. Then there was another awkward “huh?” moment, albeit less than the go-go performance. Actor Tom Hanks introduced the 7 surviving members of the legendary Tuskegee Airmen. Of all the tributes of the night, this one was undoubtedly the most moving as their wasn't a dry eye in the house as Hanks described the story men despised by their country for the color of their skin, even as they shot down America’s enemies abroad in record numbers. The airmen, some walking some in wheelchairs and all who looked incredibly well kept (Black don’t crack ya’ll) were then met by Fmr. General and Secretary of State Colin Powell who gave an emotional salute and greeted each man with an embrace and handshake. A moving moment indeed but also one that begged the question; “Why wasn’t Colin Powell himself slated to tell that story in addition to everything else?”. At the very least if they wanted an actor to introduce the story, why not someone like Lawrence Fishburne? After all, he was casted in the original movie about the Tuskegee Airmen circa 1995. No disrespect to Tom Hanks (one of my favorite actors by the way) but it just seemed like yet another example of that paternalistic brand of altruism. Afterwards the gorgeous Angela Basset led an introduction of tributes to singers Billie Holiday, Lena Horne, Ethel Waters, Sarah Vaugh, and Nina Simone which were performed by various artist including Christina Aguilera and accompanied by jazz musician Robert Glasper on piano. At break, we were introduced to yet another artifact on display at what will henceforth called the “Black Smithsonian”, rock-n-roll founder Chuck Berry’s candy apple red 1973 Cadillac El Darado. Little was mentioned about Berry being the founder of the musical form of rock-n-roll as we know it, instead the break opted to say the he was “influential” in early rock-n-roll. I noted that, duly. The convenient avoidance of the fact the Elvis Presley stole practically every move he had from Chuck Berry....but I’ll move on. Usher graced the stage once more to give tribute to the role of Black athletes in America including a montage of Jesse Owens, Muhammad Ali, Jackie Robinson, Arthur Ashe (Rich--what! Richmond!), Althea Gibson, Juan Carlos, Tommie Smith, and a host of others past and present. In usual form, comedian Chris Tucker took the stage to lead into what would be NeYo’s best Michael Jackson rendition. It was yet another reminder of just how big a hole that loss will always be in the world of entertainment at large and the Black community. While NeYo in true fashion did ‘The King’ much justice...it’s just not the same. P.S. The person that didn’t think to schedule the Prince tribute there after should definitely be demoted, possibly fired. The incomparable comedian Dave Chappelle, broke the seriousness of the moment as only he could with some sharp and socially observant zingers before his piece honoring the tradition and importance of Black humor. From Moms Mabley, to Dick Gregory, to Redd Foxx, to Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy, the montage provided reminded us of the role of Black comedy in the analysis and coping with life in an often absurd America. Janelle Monae did her part prefacing the Motown sound that brought Black soul music to “mainstream” America. Gladys Knight was honored and how better to honor the honor the legendary soulstress than the Ms. Knight herself, leading the crowd in the classic “Midnight Train To Georgia”. John Legend followed, tapping into his inner Marvin Gaye with a rendition of “What’s Going On?” in his signature staccato voicing, as perfectly timed a song as it was when Marvin first wrote it. After a commercial break which included a commemoration of the revolutionary Nat Turner (white America’s historic candy man) in which the Bible that Turner was caught with after the Southampton, VA insurrection was explained, the Blackness continued with a tribute to the jazz art form.  The legendary Herbie Hancock was introduced to the crowd by one of the coolest Black men on the planet in Samuel L. Jackson. Hancock performed the signature contortions and improvisations that make the art was it is from piano, to electronic synthesized keyboard as the crowd looked on in awe. Improvisation being a key trait of the Black experience as a whole, it was only right that jazz would be preceded by hip hop. Will Smith took the reigns by citing a Paul Lawrence Dunbar, Common cited Langston Hughes’ “I Too, Am America” Chuck D when into his legendary verse on “Fight The Power” as President Barack Obama mouthed along, and Doug E. Fresh set the proverbial “it” off when he laid as only he could the a vocal percussive that would serve as an instrumental to “The Message”. The crowd clapped and lip synched along; don’t push me/cause I’m close to the edge/I’m tryin, not to lose my head/a huh huh huh huh/it’s like a jungle sometimes/that make’s me wonder/how I keep from going under. I watched on wondering if those in the crowd (more particularly the white folks) yet understood poignancy of Melly Mel’s words after almost four decades. Arguably hip hop’s most famous bridge, this is in varying degrees, the Black experience in America summed up. Essentially a hip hop version of writer James Baldwin’s quote that; “To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time”. With an inward chuckle, my inner Mr. T pitied the fools. Ending the night were actress Octavia Spencer and Stevie Wonder. Spencer played her part introducing us to that timbre, that down home sound that we know as gospel.  After the pleasantries, Donnie McClurkin graced the stage joined by the legendary Howard University Gospel Choir in a performance that was so good it should’ve been followed by 1st Sunday church basement potato salad after. Thereafter Beyoncé protégés Chloe and Halle led the crowd in a soulful and vocally mature version of “There Eye Is On The Sparrow” that was certainly another check off of the list in a series of performances in which the duo should aptly be considered soul music’s generation next. Of course though, what is a tribute to gospel without the incomparable Rev. Shirley Ceasar! As she always does Ceasar the lit the stage as only a traditional down home Reverend and gospel icon can, sweat dripping from the forehead and all, as she too was joined by Howard University’s gospel choir. After catching the holy ghost like Julio Jones in one on one man coverage, the crowd welcomed none other than Stevie Wonder onto the stage. Breaking into his classic “Higher Ground” he was joined on stage by all the performers and guest as he beat the piano up like self defense. Such an ending seemed to serve as a signal to Black America at large, that this musical and cultural tribute would've been best summed up by the words of Kendrick Lamar: “we gon be alright!”.

[didanawisgi]

“LYNCHBURG, Tenn. — Every year, about 275,000 people tour the Jack Daniel’s distillery here, and as they stroll through its brick buildings nestled in a tree-shaded hollow, they hear a story like this: Sometime in the 1850s, when Daniel was a boy, he went to work for a preacher, grocer and distiller named Dan Call. The preacher was a busy man, and when he saw promise in young Jack, he taught him how to run his whiskey still — and the rest is history.

This year is the 150th anniversary of Jack Daniel’s, and the distillery, home to one of the world’s best-selling whiskeys, is using the occasion to tell a different, more complicated tale. Daniel, the company now says, didn’t learn distilling from Dan Call, but from a man named Nearis Green — one of Call’s slaves.

This version of the story was never a secret, but it is one that the distillery has only recently begun to embrace, tentatively, in some of its tours, and in a social media and marketing campaign this summer.

“It’s taken something like the anniversary for us to start to talk about ourselves,” said Nelson Eddy, Jack Daniel’s in-house historian.

Frontier history is a gauzy and unreliable pursuit, and Nearis Green’s story — built on oral history and the thinnest of archival trails — may never be definitively proved. Still, the decision to tell it resonates far beyond this small city.

For years, the prevailing history of American whiskey has been framed as a lily-white affair, centered on German and Scots-Irish settlers who distilled their surplus grains into whiskey and sent it to far-off markets, eventually creating a $2.9 billion industry and a product equally beloved by Kentucky colonels and Brooklyn hipsters.

Left out of that account were men like Nearis Green. Slavery and whiskey, far from being two separate strands of Southern history, were inextricably entwined. Enslaved men not only made up the bulk of the distilling labor force, but they often played crucial skilled roles in the whiskey-making process. In the same way that white cookbook authors often appropriated recipes from their black cooks, white distillery owners took credit for the whiskey.

In deciding to talk about Green, Jack Daniel’s may be hoping to get ahead of a collision between the growing popularity of American whiskey among younger drinkers and a heightened awareness of the hidden racial politics behind America’s culinary heritage.

Some also see the move as a savvy marketing tactic. “When you look at the history of Jack Daniel’s, it’s gotten glossier over the years,” said Peter Krass, the author of “Blood and Whiskey: The Life and Times of Jack Daniel.” “In the 1980s, they aimed at yuppies. I could see them taking it to the next level, to millennials, who dig social justice issues.”

Jack Daniel’s says it simply wants to set the record straight. The Green story has been known to historians and locals for decades, even as the distillery officially ignored it.

According to a 1967 biography, “Jack Daniel’s Legacy,” by Ben A. Green (no relation to Nearis), Call told his slave to teach Daniel everything he knew. “Uncle Nearest is the best whiskey maker that I know of,” the book quotes Call as saying.

Slavery ended with ratification of the 13th Amendment in 1865, and Daniel opened his distillery a year later, employing two of Green’s sons. In a photo of Daniel and his workers taken in the late 19th century, a black man, possibly one of Green’s sons, sits at his immediate right — a sharp contrast to contemporaneous photos from other distilleries, where black employees were made to stand in the back rows.

But corporate history-keeping was a rare practice in those days, and over time memories of Green and his sons faded.

“I don’t think it was ever a conscious decision” to leave the Greens out of the company’s story, said Phil Epps, the global brand director for Jack Daniel’s at Brown-Forman, which has owned the distillery for 60 years. Still, it is unlikely that anyone in the Jim Crow South thought a whiskey marketed to whites should emphasize its black roots.

As the brand’s anniversary approached, the company started researching its various origin stories. It decided that the case for Nearis Green’s contribution was persuasive, and should be told. “As we dug into it, we realized it was something that we could be proud of,” Mr. Epps said.

A business built on slave help may not seem like a selling point, which may explain why Jack Daniel’s is taking things slowly. The Green story is an optional part of the distillery tour, left to the tour guide’s discretion, and the company is still considering whether it will flesh out the story in new displays at its visitors center.

However far the distillery decides to go, it is placing itself at the center of a larger issue that distillers and whiskey historians have begun to grapple with only in the last few years: the deep ties between slavery and whiskey.

“It’s about paying down the debts of pleasure that have accrued over time,” said John T. Edge, the director of the Southern Foodways Alliance at the University of Mississippi.

An exhibit on George Washington and slavery opening this fall at the first president’s Northern Virginia home, Mount Vernon, documents how he relied on six slaves (and two Scottish foremen) to run his rye whiskey distillery, one of the largest on the East Coast.

“They were key to the operation in making whiskey,” said Steve Bashore, who helps run a working replica of Washington’s distillery. “In the ledgers, the slaves are actually listed as distillers.”

Slavery accompanied distilling as it moved inland in the late 18th century, to the newly settled regions that would become Tennessee and Kentucky. Though slave owning was nowhere near as common there as it was farther south, by the 1800s many successful farmers had at least a few slaves, who tended to be closely involved with whiskey production.

Some of the earliest prominent Kentucky distillers, like Elijah Craig, Henry McKenna and Jacob Spears, relied on slaves to run their operations. (Craig and McKenna’s names are now on whiskeys made by Heaven Hill Brands, but those were created long after slavery was abolished.)

Washington wasn’t the only president to use slaves in his distillery. In an 1805 advertisement, Andrew Jackson offered a bounty for a runaway slave named George, whom he identified as “a good distiller.”

Databases of ads for slave sales, as well as runaway slaves, are full of references to slaves as skilled whiskey distillers. In 1794, a Richmond, Va., man placed a $20 bounty on a slave named Will, who “has a large scar on his right side just below his ribs” and “understands making of whiskey.”

Slaves did more than just provide physical labor. If Green taught Daniel to distill, said Michael Twitty, a food historian, he probably would have drawn on generations of liquor-making skills: American slaves had their own traditions of alcohol production, going back to the corn beer and fruit spirits of West Africa, and many Africans made alcohol illicitly while in slavery.

“There’s something to be said for the fact that Africans and Europeans were both people in the Southeast who carried with them ancient traditions for making alcohol,” Mr. Twitty said.

Another aspect of the Jack Daniel’s tradition that is being reassessed is the so-called Lincoln County process, in which unaged whiskey is passed through several feet of maple charcoal, which removes impurities and imparts a slight sweetness.

According to legend, the process was invented in 1825 by a white Tennessean named Alfred Eaton. But Mr. Eddy, the Jack Daniel’s historian, and others now say it’s just as likely that the practice evolved from slave distilling traditions, in which charcoal helped remove some of the sting from illicitly made alcohol.

Other contributions are even harder to pin down. Though slave owners tended to value their slaves’ distilling prowess, they rarely documented how the slaves made such fine spirits.

Evidence often has to be found outside the archives. Recent archaeological work in Kentucky has uncovered material pointing to slave distilling at a number of sites, including the famed Pepper distillery near Frankfort and another operation owned by Jack Jouett, a Revolutionary War hero.

“It’s like looking at slave distillers out of the corner of your eye,” said Nicolas Laracuente, an archaeologist who has worked extensively at the site of Jouett’s house. “The reason we’re not finding them in the archives is that they didn’t have the right to be recognized.”

Mike Veach, a whiskey historian, said the influence of enslaved African distillers may explain a mystery in the development of American whiskey. Traces of German, Scots-Irish and English distilling traditions are evident in the American style, but there’s much that can’t be traced to an earlier source — a gap that slave traditions might fill.

“I don’t know what role slaves would have played,” Mr. Veach said, “but I’m sure it was there.”

Fred Minnick, the author of “Bourbon Curious: A Simple Tasting Guide for the Savvy Drinker,” said it’s doubtful that a full accounting of enslaved people’s contribution to American whiskey will ever be written. “It’s extremely sad that these slave distillers will never get the credit they deserve,” he said. “We likely won’t ever even know their names.”

Despite the recent attention from Jack Daniel’s, Nearis Green’s name is just a faint echo, even among several of his descendants who live in the area. Claude Eady, 91, who worked for the distillery from 1946 to 1989, said he was related to Green “on my mother’s side,” but didn’t know much about him.”

“I heard his name around,” he said. “The only thing I knew was that he helped Jack Daniel make whiskey.”

[onestowatch]

It Takes A Village: Paperwater’s DIY Model of Creativity Is The Future (Q&A)

Miami, Florida is one of the biggest epicenters of culture in the United States. It’s known for some of the world’s best music, food, and art festivals. I discovered Paperwater, a Miami-based live/production duo comprised of Daygee Kwia and Eddy Samy, last year through their remix of Gavin Turek and Tokimonsta’s song “Surrender.” Originally formed as a DJ act, the group took form as a multi-faceted and multi-genre oriented production house, leading a team of talented creatives under their wing.

I sat down with the duo Paperwater to discuss the underground music and culture scene in Miami, the creation of their DIY creative agency, how they expand the experience of traditional DJ sets, fighting through self doubt, and much more. Read the full interview below.

How did you guys originally meet?

Eddy: I met Daygee in the 10th grade at football tryouts when he took my position. I obviously didn’t like him after that (laughs) but we ended up becoming friends over time through music. He introduced me to making beats and he gave me rides home from school so we eventually ended up becoming best friends but split up when we went to different colleges.

Daygee: Yep, exactly what he said.

Describe your sound.

Daygee: It’s electronic music mixed with hip-hop and R&B. We try not to restrict ourselves to one genre.

You guys make bootlegs and remixes. Where do you find new music that you want to remix?

E: I’m really a big music fan so I’ll go on a Youtube page and let it play while I’m doing laundry, taking a shower, etc. So if I listen and something hits me, I make note of it, download it, and work on it. It’s a form of therapy for me. It’s the first thing I do when I open up my laptop every morning. Even if it’s a small thing like fixing a kick in a song, it’s therapeutic to me, and it makes me feel like I’m starting my day the right way.

What type of music, movies, and TV were you guys exposed to that helped develop your sound?

E: Musically, a lot of our influences are the same. We both like Kanye, Pharrell, Daft Punk, Justice, etc.

D: We also love Indie stuff like Tame Impala and Toro Y Moi.

D: When we produce, we have movies on mute so we produce like we’re scoring a film.

What movies have you “scored” to?

E: Everything Kubrick.

D: Kill Bill Vol. 2.

E: Tarantino.

All the bloody stuff - That’s dope. Let’s talk about your every day life. You guys are based in Miami, which is a beautiful place for so many reasons. How does the local music scene fit into the culture of Miami?

D: Miami’s local music scene is really starting to grow but since its still developing we can see what’s missing and help fill the void. It’s amazing that we can throw events that go hand in hand with our music. It really helps bring a new scene to the city.

Tell me more about your events.

E: We work with a bunch of DJs and producers under our collective called Wet Paper. We also work with singer-songwriters, photographers, and graphic designers. We feed off of each other’s creativity. We’re able to bounce ideas around and get feedback on all our projects so that helps us all drive our creative energy up.

You spoke about Miami already but where do you see open space for yourselves within the entire music industry?

D: Entire Experiences. We want everything we do to be connected. That includes content creation, flyers, events, and everything else.

E: It’s all about the experience. We want people to come to one of our shows and immerse themselves in an entire experience.

In essence, you guys are operating like a creative agency.

D: Yeah, I think a lot of artists are doing that now. I was reading an article about The Weeknd. He’s building a creative tribe around him so everything is done in-house.

How do you balance working on your live set, producing, networking with artists and producers, etc.?

E: It’s really hard

D: Yeah, it’s very draining. I’m tired all the time. Our team is growing so once we have everyone in place, things will get a lot easier and allow us to focus more on the music. Getting a strong team in place is one of our big goals for the summer.

Do you think lack of time is the biggest struggle for independent artists?

D: Yeah. That and self-doubt because a lot of times you work very hard and you don’t see the results right away.

E: Or the funds. (laughs)

D: It’s extremely hard trying to balance a full time job and a music career. You need someone to invest in you and have a team or else it’s extremely hard. I get why people give up. I feel very lucky that people who really believe what we’re doing are gravitating towards us.

What’s your creative process and workflow as a duo?

D: We’re still figuring that out.

E: Yeah. (Laughs). It kind of works both ways. So, D will be playing something and I’ll walk by and hear something I like. I’ll ask him to send it to me. Then I’ll work on an entire idea for an hour or three months.

D: There are definitely tracks that can take like a month to make and there’s also tracks that take 10 or 20 minutes to make. It really all depends on the song and vibe. We try to make things more efficient all the time but it doesn’t always work that way.

What’s on the horizon for you guys this year?

E: We’re currently developing our live set and plan to release a lot of production.

D: Also we want to use our events as case studies for making better music that can move people.

It’s almost like a stand-up comedian testing out material in the smaller clubs before they do an HBO or Netflix special.

D: Exactly. It’s a weird process but it works.

What does success look like for you guys?

D: The freedom to create.

E: That’s a good question. In 2017, success is us killing all of our shows, putting out really dope music, and more people finding out about the Paperwater project.

D: Also building Half/Full creative to a point where people at Half/Full creative could transition from having a job to working with the agency full time. In the future, I want to expand past music. I would love to have the freedom to work on any type of project with anybody like Childish Gambino does. He does a perfect job of merging. Everything he does seems like its all part of one brand, whether it’s his album, TV show, producing, writing, comedy, etc. I think our crew could be like that.

Who are some artists that you guys are listening to right now?

E: There’s DJ Skinniez in South Africa. I think that dude’s really cool. I like Robots Can’t Dance from Ireland. Honestly, I’m excited to see where Kaytranada takes his career. I’m excited to see how he evolves from this step. I feel the same about Flume.

The guys from Paperwater are currently releasing a new song once a week for an entire year. Check out their European tour dates and their #52Weeks Playlist below!

[thefabulousfulcrum]

"Sanctuary city" ban signed into law by Texas governor.

A shameful day for Texas.

via CBS News

Last Updated May 7, 2017 11:15 PM EDT

AUSTIN, Texas -- Texas pushed to the forefront of national debate over immigration Sunday night when Republican Gov. Greg Abbott signed a so-called "sanctuary cities" ban that lets police ask during routine stops whether someone is in the U.S. legally and threatens sheriffs with jail if they don't cooperate with federal immigration agents.

Department of Justice cracks down on sanctuary cities

The new Texas law was blasted by opponents as the nation's toughest on immigrants since Arizona's crackdown in 2010, disparagingly known as the "papers, please" provision. They are now vowing a court challenge in Texas similar to what unfolded in Arizona.

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The bill goes into effect Sept. 1, 2017, reports CBS Austin affiliate KEYE-TV.

Every major police chief in Texas, which includes some of the largest cities in the U.S., opposed the measure that allows police to inquire about the immigration status of anyone they detain, a situation that can range from arrest for a crime to being stopped for a traffic violation.

It also requires police chiefs and sheriffs -- under the threat of jail and removal of office -- to comply with federal requests to hold criminal suspects for possible deportation. Republicans have a strong majority in the Legislature and shoved aside Democratic objections, even as President Donald Trump's efforts to withhold federal funding for sanctuary cities have hit roadblocks in federal courts.

"Let's face it, the reason why so many people come to America is because we are a nation of laws and Texas is doing its part to keep it that way," Abbott said.

The timing of the signing caught Democratic lawmakers flatfooted. Abbott signed the bill on a Facebook livestream with no advanced public warning. Protests over the Texas bill have been intense for months and about 20 people were charged with criminal trespassing last week after staging a daylong sit-in at a state building where some of Abbott's staff works.

Democratic state Rep. Cesar Blanco said it looked like Abbott "wanted to get ahead" of any protests surrounding the bill signing. Abbott spokesman John Wittman said they chose to sign the bill on a Facebook livestream because that's "where most people are getting their news nowadays."

The bill cleared a final hurdle this week in the Republican-controlled Legislature over objections from Democrats and immigrant rights supporters who've packed the Texas Capitol. They call it a "show-me-your-papers" measure that will be used to discriminate against Latinos.

Texas is nation's second most populous state, and opponents say Hispanics will now be subjected to racial profiling and predicted the law will have a chilling effect on immigrant families.

A Syracuse University project showed that between 2014 and 2016 Texas police complied with federal requests and detained more than 35,000 undocumented people. That's 20,000 more than the state of California detained. 

Terri Burke, executive director of the ACLU of Texas, said "we will fight this assault in the courts" and the ballot box. Abbott said key provisions of the bill had already been tested at the U.S. Supreme Court, which struck down several components of Arizona's law but allowed the provision permitting police to ask about immigration status.

According to the press release from Gov. Abbott's office, the legislation states that entities and officials that do not comply with the law could face the following penalties:

A civil penalty for entities in violation of the law of up to $25,500 for each day of the violation.

A class A misdemeanor for a sheriff, chief of police, or constable who fails to comply with federal immigration detainer requests

Removal from office for any elected or appointed official who does not comply with the law. 

The term "sanctuary cities" has no legal definition, but Republicans want local police to help federal immigration agents crack down on criminal suspects in the U.S. illegally. Some Democrats said the timing of the signing particularly stung after three recent federal court rulings that found intentional discrimination in Republican-passed voting laws.

"They did not connect the history of our culture or how closely that it is tied to Mexico," Democratic state. Rep. Eddie Rodriguez said. "It's just extremely personal. There is a lot of disconnect. They don't really see this as affecting people." 

Reaction to the signing spread swiftly in Texas and beyond. Thomas Saenz, president of the Mexican American Legal Defense and Education Fund, said millions in the nation's second most populous state will now be subjected to racial profiling and suggested that worried Hispanic residents will now be less willing to cooperate with police investigations.

"Given the size of the state, this may well be the most costly gubernatorial signature in all of United States history," Saenz said.

The Texas bill allows police to inquire about the immigration status of anyone they detain, a situation that can range from arrest for a crime to being stopped for a traffic violation. It also requires local officials to comply with federal requests to hold criminal suspects for possible deportation.

Opponents blast the Texas bill as a version of Arizona's immigration crackdown law, SB 1070, which launched protests, lawsuits and national controversy in 2010. The Arizona law went to the U.S. Supreme court, which voided much of the measure but allowed the provision permitting police to ask about immigration status.

But the Texas and Arizona bills are not identical. Whereas the Arizona law required police to try to determine the immigration status of people during routine stops, the Texas bill doesn't instruct officers to ask. But it does allow Texas police to inquire whether a person is in the country legally, even if they're not under arrest.

Texas doesn't currently have any cities which have formally declared themselves sanctuaries for immigrants.

"Official sanctuary city" signs along Calif. highway spark immigration debate

But Sally Hernandez, the sheriff of Travis County, which includes liberal Austin, enraged conservatives by refusing to honor federal detainer requests if the suspects weren't arrested for immigration offenses or serious crimes such as murder. Hernandez softened her policy after Abbott cut funding to the county, saying decisions would be made on a case-by-case basis. She has said she will conform to the state's ban if it becomes law.

In 2016, a Justice Department inspector general's report investigated how much in Justice Department federal grants some sanctuary jurisdictions receive (as of Mar. 2016). Over 60 percent of the funding goes to 10 jurisdictions identified by the report:

Connecticut: $69,305,444

California $132,409,635

Orleans Parish, Louisiana: $4,737,964

New York, New York: $60,091,942

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: $16,505,312

Cook County, Illinois: $6,018,544

Chicago, Illinois: $28,523,222

Miami-Dade County, Florida: $10,778,815

Milwaukee, Wisconsin: $7,539,572

Clark County, Nevada: $6,257,951

© 2017 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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