#the little things that give them just that touch more characterization and depth is SO GOOD

[mystxmomo]

hi hiii

so. what if. iiii. enabled u to be autistic on the internet again :3c

i wanna hear your thoughts on eilistraee and vhaerauns relationship! the nitty gritty, the dynamics, how they think of each other vs how they act, and how thats changed over time+how its reflected in their church

im ADORING all your posts on it if i could id print them out and eat them 🫶

Okay. So this is officially the third part of my "I need to go crazy on some character analysis" Saga. My analysis on Vhaeraun is Here, and my analysis on Eilistraee is Here. I recommend, if you're stumbling across this post in the wild as tumblr tends to do, reading those two first so that you have an idea of how I see these two characters and where the basis of my argument for their characterization comes from. If I need to reference something from either post, I'll quote it here. But y'know. Need be said.

Okay so.

I believe this post is going to the most subjective of mine. I am going to try and pull up canon screenshots from War of the Spider Queen, The Lady Penitent, and Evermeet, but unlike how you kind of get told directly how the drow gods behave and hold themselves and a lot of things end up getting built on them, I would argue so many hands have touched DnD and so many interpretations of their relationship have sprung up over the books that it's hard to give a truly simplified "This is how they see one another."

Water is wet statement, relationships are complicated.

Anyway. Given what my thesis is, I am going to be talking a fair bit about abusive family dynamics in this one as well. My goal for this (and any character relationship I do, really) if to try and keep it very fair. I think a of people make the mistake when talking about Eilistraee and Vhaeraun's relationship of picking a side. Like this idea of one of them being right and one of them being wrong and needing to "Fix" the other. And I don't think that's true at all. I think to be able to understand why they feel the way they do about one another and why their relationship is the way it is, you need to respect both of their characters individually.

(Granted, I think this should be true of any relationship you're writing for in fiction. If I can preach for a second, I think even if you don't like a character, you have to be able to respect the character to properly portray them.)

Final note before I get into this. Everyone thank @abracadav-r again for being on screenshot duty. The posts wouldn't get done nearly as fast without them, they know exactly where to find these little moments.

So. That all said. Lets get into it.

I've made a smaller joke post about what I think their dynamic is like before here. But now that you're giving me the opportunity to do so, I will go indepth about it. Yes.

I'm kinda of the opinion that Eilistraee is more incorrect about Vhaeraun than Vhaeraun is incorrect about Eilistraee (But also that this is the result of DND Canon not being entirely fair to Vhaeraun.)

Let's get the discussion about my thesis about the Elven Pantheon being an analogy for an Abusive family on a divine scale out of the way first, because it's something I've mentioned a few time's, but only every really shorthanded. And I think here, in the discussion about relations, is a GREAT place to start and actually explore that.

Now. I should probably start by saying, I don't think this was intended by DnD. Like, I think when they were originally making this lore, it was the intention to just make a justifiable evil worth killing. DND came out of a time of the romantic fantasy, the very Tolkien and Fairytale esc ideas of good and evil and have this classic hero's journey power fantasy ideal to it. Other people have gone into depth about that origin with far better sourcing and dissection than I can ever hope to, but basically: DnD is absolutely (as all art is) a product of it's time and of the community it stemmed from.

However, I personally think those themes and ideas are a little outdated, and a modern audience (myself being the modern audience) tends to be more enthralled by very nuanced interpretations of good and evil, and find indepth character driven narratives more engaging. And I think that for what this mythos has become over the course of it's 60+ years of evolution, you can reinterpret the narrative to be a fascinating depiction of a mythos that echo's the abusive family structure.

Copying and Pasting from my Eilistraee Essay:

It is of my opinion that, when you look at the Eilistrae-Vhaeraun Dynamic and how they were treated by Lolth and Corellon, you're looking at a classic Golden Child/Scrape Goat dynamic. This is important to mention here because I do think that's important context within how Eilistraee (the person) see's and understands the world, and where her mind is at when it comes to the perception of her sense of self. To VASTLY oversimplify about how emotionally abusive family structures work by a lot, when you look at emotionally abusive families with siblings, you tend to find a pattern where one child ends up getting the bulk of the favoritism and affection (The golden child), while the other takes the bulk of the abuse and tends to take a of blame and is seen as being deserving of the abuse (The scrapegoat.) I'll get a little bit more into the specifics of what that means for their relationship in a later post.[*] Now. Calling her the Golden Child, but I don't think being the Golden Child is strictly a good thing. In a lot of ways, I think a lot of golden children end up very emotionally stilted, and I think you kind of see that in Eilistraee. She HAS to be the perfect one. And she's had this expectation to be The Good One placed on her shoulders since she was young. Golden Children are often blinded to the abuse their siblings face because they themselves are not subjected to the same kind of abuse.

[*] And well. It's that later post!

In emotionally abusive families, siblings tend to be pitted against eachother, either unintentionally as a result of the Golden Child being the subject of a parents time, attention, resources, and affection, or as a purposeful attempt on the part of a parent to put divides in a family. In the real life world, it is more often the first. I think a lot of people think Abusers are more like Lolth where there's an intentional "I looked at you and from the day you were born decided to make your life hell."

But I would argue the tricky thing about abusive family structures (Especially with parent-child situations), is that more often then not, the abusers love the idea of the person they're abusing. To them, what they're doing is love. It is very rare that an abuser is this knowing evil schemer that actively sits and thinks to themself that "That's my least favorite child, they don't deserve my attention."

(Though, as a small side tangent not immediately related to the fictional character, you might see this logic manifest more in the way finances are weaponized in abuse, especially see in America where college is more expensive and therefore often used as a control tactic. IE; My wonderful son wants to go into STEM, why would I waste money by giving it to my son who wants to do art college. Because people get comically evil about money.)

Instead, emotional abuse is often more insidious. It's... I'm going to put the blame on everything that goes wrong on my son (Who I left in the hands of his physically abusive mother to have his arm constantly bent behind his back by her) I can't bring myself to believe that my daughter would ever want to scheme against me. YOU could have been good once, but you're evil because you're not happy, you're too moody, you're too violent. I'm not even going to give you the chance or the environment to grow, because it's just in your nature to be evil, and because you are evil because you were born evil that all that goes wrong is your fault.

You know. That kind of logic.

So. Eilistraee was Corellon's Golden Child. She was the free spirited happy one. She was the one that loved to hunt and dance. She was the good one.

(But often, when a scrape goat leaves the family, the golden child becomes the new target.

Y'know. Like..

Corellon gave up on the idea of trying to turn his son Vhaeraun to abandon his ways. He vowed to kill Vhaeraun if he ever tried to hurt his sister. Nevertheless, the Masked Lord did threaten the Dark Maiden's life, without known action against him on Corellon's part.

Corellon's servant Solars claimed that, with this act, Eilistraee had exhausted her purpose, because the willing had been saved, and the unwilling cast down as a necessary sacrifice.

The in-story context for this being honestly worse and kind of containing bad racial implications:

“Her soul was destroyed,” Felarathael said solemnly. “But before she died, she saved many. She cleansed the taint from hundreds of drow who might otherwise have been condemned.” “But the rest!” Lashrael wailed. “Thousands! Hundreds of thousands! No hope of redemption for them, with Eilistraee gone. Condemned to darkness and despair, forevermore!” “Another necessary sacrifice,” Felarathael said without a trace of emotion. “Else the game would have been lost.”

This, to me, is the framework of Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship.

Likewise, the Masked Lord nurtures an abiding hatred of Eilistraee. The Dark Maiden always held Corellon's favor more than her hateful brother, and she thwarted Vhaeraun's early efforts to bring all the Ilythiiri (southern, dark-skinned elves) under his sway, enabling Lolth and Ghaunadaur to make great inroads among those who would become the drow.

I'm under the impression that Eilistraee doesn't know Vhaeraun. She has this idea of who he is in her head seemingly both based on the what their father thought of him, and as a result of being an outsider looking at the things he did at the hand of his mother. (And again, let's be clear and establish in this post. That wasn't WHOLLY Lolth. Vhaeraun did play his part. But I don't think Eilistraee see's that, I think she strictly see's an eager climb for power) And then she makes a lot of assumptions about his motivations based on the idea of him she's made in her head that reaffirm that idea.

On the other hand, I think Vhaeraun understands exactly the kind of person his sister is, because it's really not that hard to understand who Eilistraee is. She really does just mean well. While I consider her to be a lot more guarded and lonely then people tend to give her credit for, I don't think she's being insincere with her wants and wishes and you don't have to doubt what her intentions are. Instead, the ways that I think Vhaeraun is often wrong about how well she can handle herself and how strong her allies are by 4e, and what that could mean for drow as a whole. Because he's so willing to discredit her as a threat, he doesn't pay attention to her, and because he doesn't pay attention to her I don't think he realized she'd gotten friendly to people like... Mysta the goddess of magic.

And being realistic, even if he had known, I don't think he understands the weight of her being friendly TO people like Mystra because he himself only ever makes allies, not friends amongst gods.

Now. The reason I capped that whole screenshot above is actually because it contains a very interesting bit of framework that I think proves this. Even back in the 2e source books, the phrasing of these things matters. If it was a matter of Vhaeraun thinking that something was the case, they would have mentioned it. However, the specific way that it's set up in that passage is: "It's not that Vhaeraun thinks Eilistraee's involvement in circumventing his climb to power allowed Lolth and Ghaunadaur to gain power. Her involvement DID allow Lolth and Ghaunadaur to gain power."

And I don't think she's aware of that. But Vhaeraun is.

To further this, we're to copy/paste a passage from Sacrifice of the Widow. Now. This is from the perspective of a Vhaeraun worshiper, and it holds as much bias as Eilistraee's priestesses have towards him. But. Because it correlates with metatextual information we have from all the way back in 1998, I'm inclined to say it's not a full dishonesty, just a biased truth.

The dance might have been beautiful, had it not been a violation of the sacred order. Had Eilistraee not interfered, Vhaeraun might have united all of the darkelves under a single deity millennia ago, but Eilistraee had proved as greedy as Lolth and had stolen the females away from the Masked Lord’s worship. She’d taught them to exclude males from her circle, to subjugate and revile them instead. Vhaeraun’s followers had learned a bitter lesson. Females could not be trusted.

Compare this to how Eilistraee speaks of Vhaeraun's influence in Evermeet: Island of the Elves.

Like... Eilistaee. There are bigger threats out there than your brother But. She's so blinded by her history with him that she can only ever see her brothers influence is a bloodstain on the land.

As I mentioned in my other post, I think Eilistraee is a biased narrator in this scene. I don't think Vhaeraun wants his sister to die for the crime of existing. I think his feelings on his sister are way more complicated than his feelings on either of his parents. And we know when Vhaeraun explicitly wants someone dead, because the text would have told us that.

...

So, to understand Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship, I do think we need to talk about The Masked Lady.

Given how much of DnD is oral tradition and people building on concepts that the games give to us, I think people feel more comfortable engaging with some of these things through the wiki and building off of the idea of the ideas they get from the wiki without searching out the original source. And to be clear, this isn't like, judgement for doing that. Nevermind that the IP is older than I am twice over, that a lot of old blog posts are only acceptable through niche internet archive links, and that a lot the source books are neither applicable to 5e or still within print. I'M personally guilty of doing it all of the time.

Instead, the point I'm making is because of how the realms is set up and how people engage with DND, not a lot of people know when plot point comes from a source book, a blog post, a prose book, an official magazine, when something was fan-submitted and made canon, or Ed Greens personal twitter/discord. They all kind of merge together to create a collective canon. I think, as a result, a lot of people end up engaging with these concepts with the same amount of abstraction. But the thing about The Masked Lady is that they're like. A book character. This isn't just a concept that was placed out into world abstractly, they're a fully fleshed out character within The Lady Penitent.

This is important to us and our purposes of engaging with these characters on a more transformative level rather than at a dnd table. Being a character, we can look at how they behave and what the actual intent of their portrayal was. And I want to show you a few things, because I have an argument I would like to make given that portrayal.

==

A voice called to them: a voice that was neither male nor female, but both. A moment later, it became a pool of utter silence. Then song, then silence. Opposites, twined together, yet somehow harmonious. Side by side, the awarenesses that were Kâras and Valdar drifted to the place where the song-silence was coming from. It caught them like leaves and swirled them up toward itself. They drifted in front of an enormous face. Moonlight bathed the face’s upper half in shining radiance; the lower half was shadowed in utter blackness. A glint of blue danced across eyes the color of moonstones. Masked Lord, Kâras asked. Is it you? A feminine laugh rustled the mask. Masked … Lady? he ventured. The chuckle deepened, became male. Hands moved to the blackness that was the deity’s mask. Fingers gripped its edges. Kâras tensed, and felt the eager anticipation of the awareness that was Valdar. The mask lifted. Kâras wept. So did Valdar—and as he did, Kâras saw into the other Nightshadow’s heart. The emotions that had prompted their tears were as different as moonlight from shadow.

==

“Masked Lord,” Kâras prayed. “Is it your will the breach be opened? Have you—” He hesitated, then forced himself to say it. “Have you allied yourself with the Ancient One?” This time, the god answered. Not in words, but in the distant peal of a hunting horn. That alone wouldn’t have convinced Kâras; it might have been one of the priestesses, signaling the others. But as the horn sounded, a rectangle of darkness with two eyeholes appeared in the air a short distance away, within the tunnel leading to the ruined temple. The bottom of this “mask” fluttered, as if the mouth behind it were lending its breath to the hunting horn’s peal. Dots of angry red blazed where the eyes would have been. That decided it. Kâras wouldn’t run. He’d fight.

==

===

My argument about The Masked Lady is this: Despite taking a lot of Eilistraee's visage and Churches Iconograpy, When you look at how The Masked Lady behaves in practice I would argue that this isn't actually strictly Eilistraee. The Masked Lady feels like a new character that is both Vhaeraun and Eilistraee..... but also Neither Vhaeraun and Eilistraee. In that strictly esoteric kind of way, by merging their aspects together they've created a new god made of their parts.

And on one hand, you can read some of this as Eilistraee Masquerading as her brother to try and get his church to work with hers, but on an authorial level? I don't know if that was the intent. For one, I don't actually think Eilistraee is good at being manipulative, she's too well intentioned. She'd have fallen apart under the weight of that lie.

Granted, I do think with both of them being in there Eilistraee is more "in control." Vhaeraun is absolutely ""Dead"" in at least some ways. The piece he puts down representing himself is destroyed in the Sava game, Eilistraee ends up with his mask, and Lolth is able to show off his corpse in the astral plane.

But even all of that aside, I'm tapping in both Ed Greenwood's thoughts for this and something from Faiths & Avatars.

(I'm going to copy this summary from the FR wiki page on dead powers because, as always, it's quite good at summarization. But as always, I've double checked Faiths & Avatars to be sure)

Sometimes, the memory and personality of a deity was separated from their power and true form at the moment of their death, typically by the interaction of the magical turbulence of their death with the magic of a powerful relic or artifact into the same area. In such cases, the deity remained awake but imprisoned, in a sense, though vastly uncomfortable with their much-reduced state.

As such, I think during The Masked Lady era, three things were true simultaneously.

There was a part of Vhaeraun that was dead. That's the part of him on the astral plane. And even that part of him seemed to hold mild consciousness. But I also think a part of him was trapped by Mystra in a dream, and another part of him existed simultaneously within his sister creating a new entity as The Masked Lady, in the same way that Eilistraee seemed to both exist as herself AND The Masked Lady separate from herself as she's playing the Sava game. Because these are gods. Their existence does not exist in singularity.

But. Why does this matter to Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship. Why do I think this is an important talking point for them.

Because I think the fact that they exist together implies a level of respect and understanding towards one another. This is not how this would have happened if they truly hated one another. What happened with Vhaeraun and Eilistraee seems closer to what happened with Zandilar the Dancer and Bast (Absorbed and became Sharess) or (Sehanine Moonbow, Aerdrie Faenya, and Hanali Celanil) > (Came together to become Angharradh and notedly, can separate to spent time apart as times have changed.)

This feels like. Notedly different, compared to what happened with (for example) Ulutiu and Auril, where he got entirely subsumed by her.

For a moment, they were one god. And they could have only synergized as one if they understood eachothers intentions well enough to agree to be one.

==

It's worth noting before I get into this section. Both the idea that Vhaeraun didn't actually die and was put in ⋆ ˚｡⋆⊹❇Mystra's Dream Prison <3 ❇⊹⋆ ˚｡⋆ and that upon returning to life he started working with Eilistraee are not actually ""canon"" to 5e. They are, like many things, Ed Green-ism's that a lot of people (myself included, because I do actually think he's an incredibly creative person with good character building ideas) take as canon. Despite taking it as canon, I think it's worth mentioning that there is no official source material to pull from for these ideas, because unlike the masked lady, these two ideas exist as concepts to be built off of rather than media to be examined.

We can only logic and reason what happened between them and how it's changed their relationship using everything else we have.

Posted from the FR wiki:

"The Grand History of the Realms explicitly says that Vhaeraun's assassination attempt failed and Eilistraee killed him. However, Ed Greenwood suggests that Eilistraee didn't actually kill her brother. The Dark Maiden defeated Vhaeraun with the indirect help of her ally Mystra, as the Weave frustrated the Masked Lord's magic while enhancing Eilistraee's. The goddess temporarily took her brother's portfolio, and trapped his sentience in the Weave, where it was enfolded in a dream by Mystra. The Lady of Mysteries did this to ensure that the two drow siblings would survive the cataclysm that she knew was coming—the Spellplague—in which she would be "killed" to renew the Weave and magic would go wild. After Mystra and the Weave were completely restored in 1487 DR, the goddess of magic could finally give Eilistraee her own lost power and do the same with Vhaeraun, after having awakened him from his dream."

It was one of Ed Greenwood's ideas to have the two deities reach a reciprocal understanding, and to make the personal enmity between them was no more. More to read here

So here's my take on this situation.

I think a lot of people like to paint the "Mystra and Eilistraee put Vhaeraun in Dream Prison" Situation in a very limited light. In the same way Eilistraee tends to get romanticized as a wholly good and Vhaeraun demonized as a firm evil, it tends to get boiled down to the idea that Mystra and Eilistraee managed to convince him to be "Less Evil."

But, I don't know. To accept the Mystra/Eilistraee tag team as something wholly good, you have to also accept the sentiment of Vhaeraun as someone who is evil and needed "fixed," and I don't think that's ever been the case. As I think my multitude of arguments have implied, I have never been under the impression he's an actual evil.

As such, it's always felt little bitter-sweet to me. I think it's more impactful if they just managed to rub off on eachother due to their time spent together as one. I think it was especially a turning point for Eilistraee, given how many changes came to the structure of her church as a result of that merger. She understands why he uses the tactics he does, she understands that what he's doing is coming from a place of (what I would argue) is sincere love for the drow as a whole, and I think she got a little bit more of a nuanced understanding of the uhh Sexism. I also like to think she understood his experiences more, and that his love doesn't come through the same lens as hers.

Likewise, I think Vhaeraun came out of that understanding that he was stretching himself thin. I think that he learned that he NEEDS to be able to rely on others, he NEEDS to start trusting the outside world more. While he's more accepting of drow as they are now, I think his goal has always been to put them back in power to the extent that they were when he had worship from the Ilythiiri. But, thats not the world they live in anymore. Even if he did pull all the drow from the underdark, they could not and would not manage to be that. I think he comes out of The Masked Lady era understanding that to get the drow away from his mother and to coexist is stability in itself. They don't need to rule to be powerful, they just need to coexist.

You know. It's choosing to forgive. We can't change what we were, but we can start this relationship over and grow something new from it. And sometimes, that might be enough.

....

And ALSO I think they had to start getting along, because it really didn't take their churches THAT long to start meshing together when they fused as the masked lady.

At the word “died,” the priestess glanced down at the male. The cleric didn’t look good; his eyes had fully rolled back in his head and his skin was turning gray. Halisstra reached out and lifted the priestess’s chin, forcing her to look away. “It’s only a weak venom,” she lied. “You have plenty of time to heal him. Plenty of time, still.” “Yes,” the priestess repeated softly. “Plenty of time.” Her eyes reminded Halisstra of another priestess who’d succumbed to Halisstra’s bae’qeshel magic, years ago. Seyll had stared just as trustingly into Halisstra’s eyes a heartbeat before Halisstra plunged a sword into her. And yet Seyll had told Halisstra, as she lay dying, that no one was beyond redemption—not even Halisstra. She’d been wrong. This priestess had a wide mouth and creases at the sides of her eyes that could only have come from frequent laughter. The frown of confusion looked out of place on her forehead. The slight bulge of her stomach hinted she might be carrying a child. Halisstra hated her.

Come on guys, The Masked Lady hadn't even existed for half a decade and there was already pregnancies. We don't know what their churches are like 100+ years out. But, for as much as Ed emphasizes the infighting of the churches (And I have no doubt in my heart there ARE factions who refuse to mesh, that's canon to the text) we are inevitably met with 1-2 generations where the combined churches are all that they knew. Vhaeraun and Eilistraee had to work together, because I think as much as they're their own people with thoughts and opinions and experiences, they are also a reflection of their worshipers.

==

I think, to summarize what I think Vhaeraun and Eilistraee's relationship is like in a few paragraphs

With the way their relationships are described, I think Eilistraee was the golden child and Vhaeraun was the scrapegoat in the earlier parts of their childhood. They become reflections of the parent that favors them, because those were the parents that acted as their main influence. Eilistraee saw Vhaeraun as a reflection of her mothers evil, and Vhaeraun saw Eilistraee as undeserving of the favoritism their father gave her.

This view of eachother was cemented when she followed him to Toril. She saw him and his power as an evil and bloodstain, unhelped when he exiled her (probably out of spite and due to the grudge he had as a result of the earlier years). As such, she worked to undermine the influence he had. And when that allowed their mother and Ghaunadaur to take hold, it was the same kind of evil to her.

Her enabling them to take that power worsened the grudge Vhaeraun had of her, because he knows he isn't the same kind of evil as Lolth or Ghaunadaur, and them having that power worsened things for everyone.

This grudge between them kept itself in the legacy of their churches, all the way until The Masked Lady Era. The Masked Lady era was one where they actually managed to come together for a similar goal. It was the first time they were truly about to understand eachothers motivations, experiences, and perspectives, and the first time that divide between them and their communities truly lessened.

And when they finally came out...? I mean. That's going to change anyone. I think not only their relationship changed, but they sort of managed to change eachother a little.

I don't know. I think their relationship is complicated and messy and such a product of their parents influence on them. There is no forgiving Lolth, and there really shouldn't be forgiving Corellon (though, dnd might disagree with me on that.) But I think theirs one that could eventually heal. Out of all of the relationships in the Dark Seladrine, theirs feels the closest to being one that can be refounded on equal ground and with respect towards one another, especially as drow return to the surface and find more acceptance (even outside of their communities.) Because they are to me, two sides of the same coin.

[nanami-is-nanamean]

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

THE GONANA FAMILY YEAHHH

All i need now is sr or ssr megs or nob heheheheh

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you have any thoughts about the Love square Ship? I just realized that a huge reason why they are happening is because they are 'fated to be together' just cuz they're ladybug and chat noir. Aren't the writers shooting themselves on their feet? 'Cause it just means that Adrienette only love each other because they're LadyNoir.

The love square has fallen into a trope I like to call the Sk8er Boi trap. This is a reference to the opening question of Avril Lavigne's famous song:

He was a boy She was a girl Can I make it any more obvious?

Yes. Yes you can make it more obvious! I'm not going to ship these two based on gender alone! Give them depth! Give them substance! Make me care.

To be fair, Miraculous didn't start this way. The first two seasons of the show did a decent job setting up the crushes. It wasn't amazing, but it was enough to see the potential, especially when you paired it with the fun of identity shenanigans. Those early seasons also felt like a promise that more depth would come with time as is typical in a slow burn.

Instead, as time went on, the crushes became ever more superficial because the show has committed to maintaining a status quo that doesn't allow for a deep, meaningful romance. Without that depth to really sell the ship, Miraculous is relying on the audience shipping the love square because Adrien and Marinette are the endgame couple and that's about it. The quality of the relationship doesn't matter. All that matters is that the show says that they're meant to be. It's disappointing, but annoyingly common.

For reasons beyond my understanding, there is a decent subset of the population who are happy to play this game. If the writing says, "these two are meant to be," then this audience is happy accept that no matter how little substance the couple has. Heck, they'll ship couples that are straight up toxic!

The audience in question seems to be here for the drama and the passion, not the love and depth. Give them twists that come out of no where! Give them ridiculous miscommunication! Give them poor characterization! They'll take it all so long as it's shocking and dramatic. I don't get it, but it's not a fringe preference. It's straight up popular right now. Couples like this dominate mainstream romance, YA, NA, and romantasy. They're all obsessed with drama over depth, but that's the opposite of what I want. I will take depth over drama every day.

My ideal romance is a cute boring couple made interesting by the extraordinary circumstances they're dealing with. I thought that's what the love square was going to be, but I have given up on that hope. It started to really die in season four and season five straight up killed it.

You'd think that a show aimed at kids would be free of unhealthy romances since there are a lot of topics a Y-7 show can't touch, but apparently not! Season five's love square feels like it's an awkward, kiddified version of the kind of trends that have made me avoid mainstream Romance, YA, New Adult, and Romantasy for the past few years. Every book I've tried made me rage (insert reductive "are the allos okay" joke here). So, to answer your question:

Aren't the writers shooting themselves in their feet?

Not really. They're not writing a deep nuanced romance, but they are writing the type of frustrating, drama-laden romance that some people adore. As long as a subset of those people are willing to watch Miraculous, the show will be successful. I don't get it, but Goodreads has shown me that people love this shit, so I'm stuck waiting for the current trends to die off or for a new genre to pop up that leans towards what I like. Such is life. It's not like there's nothing good out there. It's just harder to find since it's not on trend right now. Plus there's always fanfic! That's my main source of romance. I look for other things in original fiction.

[infinialtairs]

Jade and Pey'j are always ready to fight back! Mess with one of us? You're going to have to mess with both of us! 📸🐗

Sily artwork of them hanging out! but also I have a little surprise for all jade and pey'j fans... I have finished write a full google document for Jade and Pey'j characterizations! along with backstory and trivia for my own version of designs for them ^^ Keep in mind that I'm not a writer and I won't claim as such, I simply wanted to write down my own interpretations and ideas onto them. I'll just copy down ALL 7 PAGE texts onto here so...If you don't want read any of it, feel free to skip

Captain Laserhawk: Jade and Pey’j Rewritten

! Disclaimer ! 

This takes both Beyond Good and Evil version and Captain Laserhawk version into one somewhat coherent version of them as I’m not a fan of how Jade and Pey’j were treated in the series and I simply just write my own takes on the characters and ideas of more in depth into their characters. You can disagree, or dislike my takes on them and you can also give a suggestion or your own opinion on them. I only seek to approve my skill in writing my thoughts and ideas through words.

Synopsis

Jade and Pey’j - the only remaining part of a family who are striving for a fulfilling life in a dystopian world with many deceptions easily hidden behind closed doors and TV screens. They both managed to live in a garage where Pey’j does the repairs of vehicles and as well as creating his own little projects of inventions of which he never shared them into the public eye, only to Jade.

Jade

Jade is quite a spontaneous journalist, martial artist, cyclist, and a person with so many side hobbies that she sometimes pursues, even if she’s not exactly good at a lot of them. She can be a gal friend at parties or a cry on the shoulder when someone’s in need, she's a little too empathetic at times with how she reacts with others struggles and often feel the need to always be helpful and supportive. Despite all the hobbies she has been trying out, she isn’t the best example of a patient person, she will always try to learn everything in a single day and then getting overwhelmed or frustrated when something doesn’t go her way. As a journalist she often writes articles about covers essentially what the Face of Eden Rayman talks about in his show, but with a Jade’s touch - her own perspectives and opinions. She also covers smaller topics that seem to fall deafen on people’s ears and some conspiracy theories that she may not entirely believe in, but she's a very curious person and fascinated by those out of reach theories.

She’s very close with Pey’j ever since her parents passed away in the Wasteland war when she was a teen, and with how much her parents trusted Pey’j - a boar hybrid against all odds, she knew she wouldn’t be alone in the cruel world of Eden. She often helps Pey’j with the repairs and sometimes even does the work for him whenever Pey’j gets sick or overworked. One thing she always does and loves on a daily basis is taking photos of everything she comes across as interesting, maybe mostly taking funny pictures of Pey’j in his vulnerable state. She wants to keep memories with Pey’j as she regrets never taking any photos of her parents and wishing she could remember her memories with her parents. But as long as she and Pey’j are there for each other, She’s content with the family she currently has as Pey’j adoptive uncle.

Pey’j

Pey’j is opposite of Jade in a lot of ways - he’s stubborn, grumpy and often disrespectful towards strangers. He just gets tense around people who he doesn’t know and especially his promise to Jade's parents to always look out for their daughter, it only made him more overprotective towards Jade. Beneath all of the tough and blunt manner, he’s caring and sympathetic. Pey’j will open up about his personal upcomings as a boar hybrid, his family, his hobbies, and of course bragging of Jade’s talents, he’s also the pure example of terrible but in own charming ways of humor, somewhere between dad jokes and dark comedy. Pey’j has always dreamt about becoming an inventor for Eden, inventing technologies to help those in crisis instead of relying on a government that seeks more of the loyal and control than provide support for the citizens. But alas he has a lot of difficulties and responsibilities to even begin chasing his dream, so he’s sticking with what he has been doing for decades - repairing vehicles and gadgets for cheap prices for good qualities. 

Pey’j often cooks meals and gives out supplies to the homeless people as advised by Jade, since she’s always busy and staying up late writing journals and cases and in her own words “You gotta work with your communications too, old fart!”. Pey’j hasn’t all been too interested in relationships or even had a mind crossed about “marriage” and “having his own kids” due to his own fears of not being able to offer enough on the table, Pey’j believes that he has better things to do in his own opinion. Beside doing mechanics and inventing his small projects. Pey’j is also on occasion curious with hobbies, in particular chess has been his favorite pastime, usually he plays it with Jade or sometimes his acquaintances if in a right mood. Pey’j will deny being competitive about chess but each time he loses a game of chess, he will insist for another round until he personally wins! It can take from another 30 minutes to many hours depending on his bad luck.

Backstory

Jade’s parents as any others who were previously citizens of the USA see their country turning into a dystopian country now known as “Eden”, with no longer 50 states but 5 Mega Cities divided. They weren’t thrilled or accepting of the changes, with far advanced technologies and AI intelligence. Despite it all Jade’s parents made sure that their first born child would have a good life in a very new world that they also have to navigate through together. Jade’s parents were working hard in their jobs as one unexpected day coming across a troubling boar man hybrid out in the streets, clearly in some distress Jade’s parents decided to help out the hybrid and upon learning about the boar hybrid name “Pey’j”, they weren’t sure about this so called “Pey’j” with the news uprising about “Hybrids will take care of your pesky workflow and we as Eden community are grateful for that!” but they gave the benefit of a doubt as they were the only family remaining and alone with their daughter Jade. Maybe perhaps they could use some help.

Jade’s parents and Pey’j came along very well, with Pey’j skilled talent of repairing their old equipments around the house and become quite like a uncle figure to little Jade which gave Jade’s parents a relief that they could be a family - a fullfit family that may not seem big or exciting but all it mattered that they weren’t going to leave each others behind. Jade was quite a reckless child for both Pey’j and Jade’s parents, always hyperactive and was more into sports, bugs, and many other interests all at once! But Jade studied pretty alright at minimum in school and even took an extra class of material arts, both her own choice and a skill that Jade’s parents thought Jade would incredibly need in the future. Around the time Jade entered into High school, Jade’s parents had been fired from their original jobs due to some complications and the terms of services that they didn’t agree with. They have hidden that fact from Jade and Pey’j to avoid any unnecessary stress on their family, so with desperate attempts and tired of Eden’s corporate policy, they joined the DedSec organization to protect against corrupted ways of Eden. Jade’s parents both worked as hackers in coding into TV stations over Eden before eventually the event that they all were expecting for… ”The Wasteland War” as Eden militaries sent out missiles and soldiers towards wasteland and so Jade’s parents were rushed to quickly message to Pey’j about the situation and ask for a promise to protect their daughter Jade if they weren’t making it out alive. As the news broke out about the now abandoned Wasteland all across Mega Cities, Pey’j knew that Jade’s parents sadly didn’t make it due to no contact or logs ever since that sudden text and so Pey’j made sure to take care of Jade and support her as much as he can in his garage. Jade knew that they couldn’t afford to attend any college or universities but Jade did lots of freelance commissions on photography specifically before then switching to write journals and articles of niche topics around Eden. Jade and Pey’j were living somewhat sustainable living conditions despite all odds until an unexpected interaction with unidentified individuals in the alley not far from Pey’j garage as they were trying to capture Pey’j and Jade with Pey’j fell first defeated. Jade tried her absolute best to fight back but quickly grew weak and got cornered before getting knocked out cold.

Jade and Pey’j woke up in odd white room with a wrestler trying to break a metal locked door and a cyborg still sleeping out cold on the mattress, with absolute no clue where they were or what to do before eventually a woman walked in or “Warden” as they later found and that they were all being held captured and hidden from outside of the world in Supermaxx, with needing to obey the missions at hand or else their head explodes with discovering they do indeed have bombs inside their heads. Jade and Pey’j along with the others into a group as Warden calls it “The Ghosts”, they knew the stakes they had in a sudden shift of lifestyle but currently Jade and Pey’j will work it as long as they are always sticking by their sides.

Trivia

(This is mainly trivia about my own design version of Jade and Pey’j and doesn't always match up to either Beyond Good and Evil nor Captain Laserhawk versions so keep that in mind.)

The brown jacket that Jade wears is gifted by Pey’j as a first present she ever got from her adoptive uncle. It used to be too big for her before eventually once growing up she’s constantly seen wearing that jacket.

Pey’j red eyes gadgets were invented by himself to read and analyze better as once he got older, his eyes just weren’t as good in eye sight as in his youth.

 Jade has two different styles of fingerless gloves. Her left glove is green, more geared up for cycling and her right glove is a simple black thin fingerless glove. She did have at one time both green geared up finger gloves before during once in her practice of learning to ride a bike she lost her right fingerless glove upon falling over and Pey’j gave her a replacement for a simple black fingerless glove.

Pey’j has a right cut off tusk due to one intense gang fight he had along before he met Jade or Jade’s parents. He always loves re-telling that tale and expresses his anger.

Jade and Pey’j have almost shared birthdays. Jade’s birthday is 24th of May and Pey’j - 23rd May. They do an annual special two days of sharing both of their birthdays together and as such both receive presents twice as such and make trips. Their favorite go-to place is carnival.

Jade’s camera is borrowed from one of the commissioner’s job but later was gifted by them and such Pey’j has added features into Jade’s camera to make it one of its kind including ability to zoom in and out almost infinitely, loads of filters built in and one of Jade’s favorite - a stunt that gives anyone within her range a temporary blindness, although comes with limit of usages she can do.

Pey’j’s wrench has been modified and had different looks many times to make the perfect wrench with multi-purpose as ever! Currently his wrench has been modified to weigh slightly heavier than average wrenches to carry a heavy and quick swing. Pey’j’s wrench has even functionality to act as a power source for example to use as a flashlight, to charge up equipment, without a lot of storage of power. He’s still in development for that perk.

Funny story. When Jade was 16, she asked, begged even Pey'j for earrings for “that cool rad look to show off!” Jade’s own quotes. Pey’j reluctantly agreed but he was at first adamant about putting the earrings himself and so he tried to do his first practice to his own ears. It didn’t go well as planned with him having two permanent little holes in his ears and he eventually agreed to let Jade go to the professional. Jade still make jokes about it to these days, not of one Pey’j’s proudest moments.

Jade’s hairstyles had so many iterations before she settled in her now iconic bottom shaved pixie cut. She has only let her hair grow once when she was around 8, Jade's parents weren’t looking carefully and Jade was messing with lighter and managed to burn half of her hair. To say Jade’s parents were mortified and angry would be an understatement. Jade later had to shave her whole hair for six months.

Pey’j boots are actually jet boots that he modified way more recently than his wrench, allowing him to float a few centimeters into the air - before then falling down, but this comes in handy for combat for ground pounding!

If you have read all of this...holy shit that's insane of you and I really appreciate that you took your time about two characters that I just wanted to give more love for them... ^^' Feel free to write your feedback, suggestion, idea or even mistakes if I have made any about it! Like I said before I want to improve on writing down ideas and thoughts into words more coherent and clear in the future.

Thank you for reading once again! 🫶

[andypantsx3]

could you possibly write a guide on how to write Shouto for the collab? You write him so well and I'm scared I can't live up to your standards

Hello my love!!!! I am deeply touched you think so highly of my characterization, but I assure you I—and the other Shouto stans—will eat up whatever you do as long as you write him with love!!

I truly think the key to good characterization is exploring the traits you love most & aspects you find most interesting in a character. Different authors will emphasize different aspects of a character to differing degrees—resulting in so many unique flavors, all of them equally as delicious as the next!! It's okay and honestly a good thing if some of the stuff you want to explore is different from what I usually spend my time on!!

If you do want to know about which of his traits I like to play up, though, I do have this previous ask for you!! It's from a while back but not much has changed since then—the aspects of Shouto's character I still like the most are his kindness, his latent little shit youngest child energy (which is woefully underplayed imho lol), and his desire to be someone who puts people at ease. Oh and also obviously his pretty face. 😌

But I also mention how I depart a little bit from canon to play with some niche possibilities of his character!! For example, I like giving Shouto a sort of old money flare with more stilted, formal dialogue and mannerisms, because I have my own personal ideas about the intersection of Enji's wealth and Rei's pedigree as a member of an old, established family (the Himuras). This is not explored in great depth in canon but I have gone rogue and given Shouto old money vibes regardless lol.

But anyway all of this to say, write what you love about him!! Write what interests you about niche aspects of his character that could have been, like his old money vibes lmao. Write what you want to write, and the fun you're having and your love of his character will naturally translate well.

I really look forward to reading what you come up with!! 🥺 And I hope you just have fun with it!! Sending you all of my best vibes!!!

[theghostbunnie]

How do you see Max and Nikki’s relationship?

As siblings

I know that's like sometimes what ppl say when there's a straight pairing popular ship (makki) vs a gay popular one (maxneil) and they don't really mean it they just mean they have a uncomfortbilty or hatred towards one of the ships, but in my mind they're literally twins/hj

I have AUs where they're twins, half siblings, step siblings. I love them sm..There's even a line in one of the end credit rap songs that goes something like "we may not have the same color skin but imma treat em like my twin" and I'm like ah yes,,, something to feed into my delusions/j

((on a more srs note I feel like more ppl should look into the end credit lyrics alot of it seems specifically written to fit Max and might give people a better insight into his characterization))

But enough of my fannon delusions n self indulgence they're obviously not actually siblings they're best friends BUT they didn't start off that way no matter how sweet the "you now have three little bastards to deal with" line is bc in the first season, earlier episodes he's more of an asshole to her bc they're still getting to know each other.

He broke her instrument, quicker to basically tell her to shut up on multiple occasions, ect.

Back to the first episode, Max operates BIG on first impressions. Off the bat he's touching Neil's shoulder, he's impressed by his disrespect to authority, he wants to hotwire the bus with him. But Nikki? Hardly addressing her. Even says "why would you help us?" Bc despite biting him, she appeared to be just a 'little more violent, mini-David.' THAT was his first impression of her. Nikki didn't have his attention or respect technically until he learned her willingness to seek and cause chaos near the end of the episode. There's times at later points where she's clearly getting on his nerves.

I'm pretty sure I already wrote out a whole in depth thing about how Max has issues getting attached to people and will fight it off and deny it once it happens even at the cost of their feelings (points at camp corp episode) where as Nikki is a social person who has been denied a real friend til she came to camp campbell same as Neil, who is NOT a social person. They both start off clingy towards Max for this but Nikki works past it and makes 2 other friends while Neil doesn't.

So recap: Max builds a team of two other kids he can just share a common goal with at first, is a bit of a jerk to Nikki initially at times, but she grows on him and now he really values her as a friend n cares for her deeply.

But now onto NIKKI'S POV: She'd been bullied before, it was a traumatic experience for her yes but that's also the ONLY information we have on any past relationships she's had with peers, kids her own age. Any other time she's talking about someone she knew it's often just her mom. sometimes her dad (often not painting a good picture of him but through a childhood innocence lense) or an animal she knew.

So when she makes her first friend group in camp campbell her only prior experience with one is in the flower scouts. Nikki picked up bad habits from them bc she's a kid and doesn't have the emotional maturity to analyze her every behavior.

So when Max is being the type of person who was being quick to shut her down, who (in her own words) was micro managing her, and only ever seemed like he was having a good time when they were doing what HE planned to do, ofc she's gonna start harboring some complaints. Nikki isn't gonna sit down and talk about her feelings to him like an adult she's gonna do what the flower scouts taught her and you talk shit about the problem to OTHER friends.

This isn't to say she secretly hates him, no I firmly believe she deeply cares about him too but they're both flawed people so their friendship has flaws too that doesn't make it void of care for one another.

You can't unbiasedly hate on Nikki for that scene she's mocking him if you're not even taking into consideration WHAT her original issue was. Nikki shit talks, Max has control issues.

As episodes progress I think they really seem to work past it and become better people AND I THINK THAT'S RLLY SWEET I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP ❣️❣️

The way they interact with each other throughout the series really shows that their differences might cause some clashing but they have FUN together and I think their differences and problems just make them more interesting characters

[kxmpfflieger]

i would love to hear any director’s commentary/insight on that scene in ch2 where christian offers a hand to orlando after drill and orlando refuses it 👀 anything fun to share abt their dynamic and/or characterization? 🌷

OUGH love this scene.

It's an important moment for both boys. Orlando a little more so. Sadly, I cant gush or go TOO much in depth about why its so important/neat to me, because WOAH WOAH its spoilers. But I'm just gonna say; there will be a call-back to this scene in the future.

But, there's some stuff I can say on Christian!

Christian hasnt felt strongly about Orlando up to this point; not really getting Atkins' "unnecessary" (in his eyes) approach of aggravating him constantly as payback, but also not being 100% on board with Percy eagerly wanting to befriend him. Even more so, considering Orlando has been very passive aggressive towards them. But mostly towards Percy. And people picking on Percy has always riled him up. This moment where Orlando refuses his help, to get up of all things, for no apparent reason, irks Christian in particular. In his mind, Orlando is being a stuck up asshole. He has been giving him the benefit of the doubt up to this point, but it kinda dawns on him then, especially with how he's been acting towards him and Percy, that the guy is not worth that kindness. Which is why Christian, in turn, becomes a little abrupt/passive aggressive towards Orlando at the end of the chapter. If this is how Orlando was really going to act like, "being the bigger person" was a waste of effort in Christian's eyes. If Orlando was going to be petty, so would Christian.

Some context Orlando too, without going really in to detail for the sake of future releases— He is STUNNED that Christian would do such a thing as offer to help. Orlando is 100% aware of how he's treated the rest of his comrades up to that point. And after all that, Christian still offers to help him up? It's obscene. There's a huge rush of emotions in that doe eyed glare of his when Christian extends his hand out; shock, astonishment... maybe a part of him was touched. He did think about taking that helping hand, but ultimately didn't. Orlando's next logical choice after being offered and turning down the olive branch (because in reality, that's what it was) is to go make a fuss about something else, and pretend that moment never happened.

[pauking5]

Hiii, dear Adagio! ✨🌷

How are you, pretty lady? I hope you are well, rested and that you had a good day, and if not, I hope that your days get better and that you receive many nice things, you deserve them 💖.

You don't know how excited I was to read your response, you are truly a sweetheart! Thank you for making me feel confident, it was a very nice detail, I promise you that I will come here more often, even if it is to leave you beautiful words that are totally true 😭. You really deserve to feel like your work is being appreciated and valued, because it is.

I'm looking forward to finding out what you have planned for your stories, I've been really hooked on them since I read the first chapter of 'Addicting Taste', and knowing you, amazing things are sure to come. If I could describe myself as anything else when I see you updated, it would be a doggie wagging its tail, lol.

So is there more of 'Believe'? I'll be waiting to see more of that, it's definitely one of my favorite scenes, it's even like the main song I have for the couple. It's the only thing I think about every time I hear the song, besides 'I'm trying, Cher!' by Zac Efron 🤣. I propose that it be the song that plays at the altar when they get married, I don't know, I'm just saying 🙌🏻.

For my part, I have been thinking about writing a fic about Aktha, Macken's character in 'Dragon of Wonderhatch', I consider him to be a very interesting character with great potential for depth, without a doubt it would be very entertaining and even reflective be able to unravel him a little more. I'm still hesitating whether to release the story, but it's very likely that in the end I will, and I must confess that you have some credit for it, with your stories you gave me the inspiration and motivation to give more shape to mine, so thank you, my lady 🩷✨.

And yes, I really like Macken's characters, I consider him a very promising actor with great potential, especially because of the ability he has to play his roles so well, stay faithful to the character in case it's an adaptation and, at the same time, give his own essence and touch to the character. He's incredible at his job, his roles stand out a lot, so I have a special appreciation for him ✨.

Actually, one of the reasons why your blog caught my attention in addition to the unique, human and special way in which you write your stories and characters, is because you are one of the few that I have seen that creates content about Macken's characters. I have noticed that, at least outside of Japan, his characters have been a bit neglected, without including Zoro, Seiya and even Enishi. I find it nice and comforting that there is someone who writes and portrays more about his characters, it gives more visibility to his other works/roles in my opinion 🥹.

Fun fact: The first time I watched the Rorouni Kenshin movies, my dad only had the first and second movies downloaded, and I had no idea they had any more of them released until years later when I saw them on Netflix. That's where I met the beautiful Mophead, who at the time I didn't know was played by Mackenyu since I didn't know him, until when I saw One Piece, a friend mentioned something about his role as Enishi and I was like: "Huh 😃 ❓". I had no idea I had met Macken since 2021 and was even more charmed by the way he acted 😭.

Even with 'Knights of the Zodiac', I really liked his performance and characterization as Seiya, I feel like he did it extremely well. I have a special affection for the anime version because my dad is a big fan and I grew up watching it, so it was honestly very cool to see Macken playing Seiya.

Oh, another little thing! Have you by chance seen the drama 'Brass Dreams'? Macken also performs there and I noticed that it have very good reviews, so I would like to see it, but I haven't found it anywhere. If you or anyone else reading this has seen it and can tell me where you guys did it, I would be eternally grateful 🙏🏻.

I think I went on too long talking about Macken and made the message very long, I apologize for that, I tend to ramble a lot. Anyway, thanks for reading! I really appreciate you taking the time to do this, it's nice in my opinion 🫶🏻✨.

Continue creating art and doing what you love, you are making wonderful things that are worth seeing. Thank you for being here, I hope you have peace and calm, and continue to have it for a long time. A bear hug, sweet soul! ✨🌸

With much love and appreciation, your faithful reader who will accompany you on your indelible journey, 🌙✨.

hi lovely! welcome back haha. you're very welcome for the message 🫶

you're the sweetheart here 😭 your asks are so sweet to read. please come here any time. i'm more than happy to respond :))

there's so much planned for my stuff but you'll have to read when they come out 😏. i hope those things are amazing and i don't disappoint. and the wagging tail help me that is so adorable 😭 it's how i feel when you guys come in the ask box or reply to the chapters. it makes my heart soar.

yes, there will be more of believe but all in due time. it becomes a meaningful song to them both since runaway is also heavily centered around not just racing but music and i choose the songs with meanings to them both. you'll see some chapters will be raiko's playslist but some will be naozumi's playlist. they won't necessarily be from his pov but the povs will be somewhat split between them. believe is probably in the fic like 3/4 times in total but it does become a really meaningful song as their connection progresses.

aktha is such a nice character and i loved macken's portrayal of him. it seemed so on par with him. and i hated that it was so short! i loved all his scenes. the way he exuded that serious caretaker image. it came close to one of his best roles.

do not hesitate hun. if you feel confident in your story go ahead and put it out. all i needed was someone to tell me i just have to write and i went and wrote my first ever fic chapter in all but 4 days. you can do this. if you ever feel like it's daunting just ask yourself: "what is the purpose of this story? what does it make me feel?" . if you feel like she's good to go and your guts tell you that too go for it! i would love to read it if it ever comes out!

and it makes me so happy to hear you got inspired by something i wrote. i just write what i would like to read and if it makes you feel confident in your own abilities or lights your spark for starting something then i am truly the happiest. after all, we're here to learn from each other and build each other.

that's exactly why i admire him a lot too. he creates this separate identity to the characters and it makes for so much more depth if you choose to expand on the material. it's why i went and crafted all these stories. i hope more people start writing for his characters and i hope those stories are everything you've been missing and that they make you love the characters even more!

aweeee i love that discovery! its so nice to find something again after you watch something. i think i loved everything i've watched of his. but my first experience of macken was with seiya. i remember how i was looking for a movie and i stayed up to watch it off a shady site and LOVED it!!! especially as a mythology nerd myself, kotz was so good. a little too short but amazing to be fair for such a spontaneous production. i have not watched the anime but i have been thinking of it to have something to add to the fic since i'm not sure how much of it follows the actual story.

i have seen him in brass dreams! i think i watched the episodes off dailymotion if i'm not wrong 🤔. most likely since i couldn't find it anywhere. so do check dailymotion ✨

noooo you didn't make it long. it's okay. i love talking about his characters too. and you're very welcome. i want you guys to have a safe space here and feel listened to because i know very well how it feels to want to talk about something but not have anyone to do that with. so if it's about his characters sign me up to a whole week long discussion haha

thank you for appreciating my work. i put a lot of myself into it and would love nothing more than to know it reaches people even a little.

hugging you tightly too 🫂🫶

[griefabyss69]

also idk if this is allowed but i’m very intrigued by all three of the final three. take your pick or post all three if you wish to delight your audience triply:

more antagonism for the masses

natureboy

slapping is a sincere form of pleasure

This is totally allowed!!! A palm tree triple delight for everyone: I'm giving notes on two of them and then an excerpt from the last one! more antagonism for the masses:

This one is because I loved writing Acceptance and Negation (Steve loses a bet against his rival Eddie and has to become his foot stool etc) and the dynamic there was so good to me.

It's going to maybe be a little bit meaner but I'm still going to try to find the balance again, and also I'm hoping it's going to be a short and sweet one (not 18K lmao). I have ideas on what they're going to do but I'm not going to make a promise I might not keep!!!

natureboy: this idea hit me like a flash of lightning while writing something completely different (which is how like a quarter of my WIPs start). It's going to be about how Steve feels a pull towards nature that he's never really been allowed to explore due to needing to be a tidy little fancy rich boy. USUALLY I just have this background characterization of Steve being a former boy scout, but not in this one! I do touch on this idea very shortly in The Smell of Autumn, but that's an erotic microfic and this precedes that and will be waaay more in depth (and to be honest, it's me, probably erotic as well). I really think Steve would make a great outdoors kinda guy, he's got the kinesiological smarts and probably wouldn't even feel embarrassed about talking to trees like they're his journal. I just read what I have for this (under 300 words so far, I had the other fic to get back to!) and I like it a LOT. So whether this ends up being short or long I think it might be a Fave. slapping is a sincere form of pleasure:

This is another serious one! It's a Steve character study but from Eddie's POV, heavier on the kink than usual in a way (less like they stumble into sex that has bdsm elements and more like they go right into it knowing exactly what's going on). On the cover it'd be something like "Eddie enjoys slapping a lot" but it goes a lot deeper than that. Little excerpt from the beginning: (Contains: slapping ofc, kink, rated M)

While he can't say he's super familiar with the feeling of proper leather cuffs, he knows the stinging on his skin like the back of his hand.

How he got here is… not quite a mystery, he can piece it all together step-by-step, but it's one of those things he only believed was real once the first grounding hit had connected with him.

The mystery is all inside of Steve, carefully filed away until Eddie manages to find the right key for the right drawer to slide open. This particular drawer had been dense, and he's still not sure how he even got it open - weed and a witching-hour conversation already accounted for.

Steve's life between his graduation from high school and the Boat House Reunion is all blurry question mark, but all Steve says about his "Yeah, Eddie. I know what BDSM is. I can prove it." admission is that he's taking something back for himself.

And Eddie's desperate to know what it is, but earning access to that information will take a while. So he just enjoys what Steve's let him in on, becomes a collaborator in his previously private healing.

Steve's large, gorgeous hand cracks against Eddie's face again and he grunts - not yet at the point to give up his arbitrarily stubborn decision not to moan - enjoying the way his body's buzzing as his heart pumps faster.

[pancakefancake]

^me.

"Her stomach sank at the idea of Eris not taking care of himself. Someone needed to make sure he was doing both of those things."

WELL - Starting off right with a punch in the feels 🙃 Wonder who that person should be?? But also - just imagining the first she takes care of him and he just like MELTS instantly because what? softness? never heard of it. I keep having to remind myself that there is still angst to come and I am not ready to be hurt like that 🙃

Again - the IMAGERY 👏🏼

"..is not to leave the estate without an escort."

"And what am I then?" Lucien, bby. As always your witty dialogue is just 😍

"Lucien couldn't even imagine his brother so much as slightly raising his voice at his beloved mate." I AM SOFT. Ugh, soft Eris is so top tier.

"Eris said you loved horses."

"Because they do." 'BECAUSE THEY DO." I feel attacked. the actual swoon. Lucien playing matchmaker brings me so much stinkin joy - the sibling vibes.

"Eris frowned, not at her, but at the idea that she could ever see herself as such a burden."

Literally this entire exchange. It's perfect. It's witty and nuanced and alive. perfection. and "if his mate was annoyed with his brother, then he would choose her side." I love literally every single characterization that you give him. the devotion. the commitment. the partnership. the solidarity. LIVING FOR IT.

"little witch" need I say anything more? The way this nickname has me feeling all sorts of things is RIDICULOUS. I love love love them just getting the chance to chat and banter and be adorable. "but coming from him, it only felt sweet." Lil witch is FOND.

The way he remember everything she says?? cannot with you.

Pretty sure I pointed this out before with the hounds, but why is Eris and a sharp whistle so hot?? Why??

👏🏼the👏🏼sweetness👏🏼the👏🏼teasing👏🏼the👏🏼slow👏🏼burn👏🏼

"She noted how thick and strong the muscles were there." MA'AM.

UGH THE WAY HE ENCOURAGES HER TO PARTICIPATE AND SPEAK UP. I CANNOT.

the music 👌🏼

"Make sure to keep that kindness in your eyes." THE PARTNERSHIP. THE AFFECTION. SHE SEES HIM AND I AM NOT OKAY. Literally this entire thing. I love them interacting so fucking much. and the wit as always. incredible.

"I can destroy it even without your efforts."

"Then by all means..." 😉

The sass. but then the POWER. High Lord Eris, ladies and gentleman. I love him, your honor.

and the MORE POWER cause lil witch is a badass all on her own too. God, the two of them together are going to be unstoppable (until you write whatever devious plot you have in store for us.)

And all the touching?? the hand holding?? I am unwell. I need more, please.

"Without realizing what she was doing, she stepped forwared to brush some stray hair off his face and behind his ear." MA'AM. MA'AM. MA'AM. I'm fine. I'm totally fine. I was so totally prepared to feel this soft this early in the morning after getting basically no sleep at all.

"Smirked." "Pinched." "I will not forgive him for what he did to you. You should have given him your wrath." Okay - literally, excuse me. The adorableness and then straight into that absolute masterpiece of a sentence. The DEVOTION. The SUPPORT. Ugh. Eris is a ✨partner✨

The love he has for his court makes me want to weep. SJM just needs to let you write him from now on. I will accept no other characterizations.

Eris. that's it. that's the post. Eris. Eris verbalizing his gratitude. Eris being honest and vulnerable. Eris being THE high lord and top tier mate that he is. And literally anytime you put shit in italics it GETS me. "That" UGH You give him such depth and realism. He's gorgeous and wonderful and powerful and has so much potential but he's also so deeply flawed and the characterization of how much of his trauma he has internalized and turned towards himself and this clear display of envy is heartbreaking and breathtaking at the same time. I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH.

"Eris couldn't stop his beaming from her words." Excuse me - a smiling Eris? I cannot.

"You will come with me? Because what did any of this matter if she didn't. Eris was starting to realize he couldn't do any of it without her."

Eris and his casual display of power has me weak.

"But she recognized Eris' scent and warmth immediately, stopping her from startling" uhm - THIS has me weak. I just - MA'AM.

"LITTLE WITCH"

"Eris whispered in her ear. 'Go back to sleep.'" Literally everything from this point forward has me in a goddamn chokehold. I am unwell. I want THIS. You are amazing and incredible and absolute blessing to this hellsite.

Gorgeous storytelling. Absolutely gorgeous. 1000/10 would recommend. I ❤️ you and I hope you're have a good week!

chapter xix – gust & flame

Eris Vanserra x Reader

Eris Vanserra has been a prisoner in his own home since the day he was born. He has done what he had to in order to survive and protect the few he loves. And he is playing the long game. Waiting, waiting, and waiting for the right time to make his move, to usurp his wicked father and become High Lord of Autumn Court. But things become even more complicated when a human girl drops into his life. Perhaps Eris can wait no longer to take his throne.

Word Count: 4,700+

masterlist

After the meeting of the High Lords, Y/N didn’t see Eris for quite some time. He was bogged down with his duties. And Y/N could only assume he was barely eating or sleeping with the amount of work he was dealing with. Her stomach sank at the idea of Eris not taking care of himself. Someone needed to make sure he was doing both of those things. 

However, Y/N’s usual schedule of breakfast, training, and library continued. 

But on this morning, Lucien came to her after training. 

“Would you like to go riding with me?” He asked as Y/N drank water. 

The Weapons Master had already exited the training grounds, leaving her exhausted and alone. Well, not really alone. For she had two of the smoke hounds as her guards and company still.

They now eyed Lucien wearily, not appreciating how close he was getting to their master's mate. 

But Y/N’s eyes beamed with the question. “Really?” 

Lucien tried not to tease her for being so excited. In actuality, he felt guilty for such a simple thing clearly bringing her such joy. If he had known that, he would’ve asked long ago. 

He studied her current state. “Yes, really. Perhaps you would like to change before doing so?”

Y/N looked down at herself. She was covered in mud and dirt. And what couldn’t be seen, but surely smelt, was the sweat she’d released from all her training. There was even a few cuts and scrapes across her hands and arms from little nicks she’d received while sparring. 

“Yes, perhaps I should clean myself up first…” Y/N mumbled as her face got hot with embarrassment. 

Half an hour later, Y/N appeared from her bedchambers freshly bathed. Her hair was still wet, but braided. And she wore a riding outfit that Lucien was sure the handmaidens had helped her pick out. 

“S-Sorry to keep you waiting,” Y/N quickly muttered, only able to look at the ground as she shut her bedchamber door behind her. 

“It wasn’t long at all,” Lucien tried to tell her. 

They hurried to the stables, which Y/N had no complaint about.

Two horses were already saddled and waiting for them when they reached the royal barn. A stableboy had both reigns in his hands. 

“What’s this?” Lucien asked, pointing to a bow and quiver of arrows strapped to one of the saddles. 

The stableboy seemed embarrassed and wouldn't look Lucien in the eye when he answered. “The High Lord demanded that Lady Y/N never go on horseback without at least two weapons on her saddle. I am just following orders, my lord.” 

Y/N smirked and stepped toward the horse that was now very obviously hers. It was a stark white gelding, covered in muscles, but held a kindness in his eyes as he greeted Y/N. 

“What’s his name?” Y/N asked the stableboy. 

“Aengus, my lady.” 

“Aengus,” Y/N muttered to the horse with a smile as she softly stroked his face. 

The stableboy cleared his throat awkwardly. “The High Lord also stated that Lady Y/N is not to leave the estate without an escort.” 

“And what am I then?” Lucien snapped. 

Y/N chuckled as she easily lifted into the saddle. “Lucien, don’t start.” Then she turned to the stableboy. “That is fine. But may they remain behind us?”

The stableboy looked relieved at having her support. “Yes, Lady Y/N. Only five will be joining you. They will meet you at the gates.” 

“And what is your name?” Y/N asked sweetly. 

“Cian, Lady Y/N.”

“Thank you, Cian. We will be seeing much more of each other now. Perhaps I can help you brush the horses after we return.” 

He smiled and bowed his head. “Of course, Lady Y/N.” 

She leaned down to stroke Aengus’ neck. “Ready for some fun?” She whispered. 

The white gelding neighed happily and stomped his feet, proving just how ready he was. 

Y/N turned to Lucien, “They will learn quickly that they need to keep up.”

And then she whistled, signaling Aengus to make his escape. The horse quickly jolted into a gallop out of the gates.

It only took Lucien a second or two to follow, but even that made him fall far behind. 

He hoped Eris didn’t hear about this little stunt, because it would be him that he reprimanded. Cauldron knew Eris would never scold Y/N for anything. Lucien couldn’t even imagine his brother so much as slightly raising his voice at his beloved mate. 

——

Hayley looked to the right to see one of their Autumn guards 50 yards or so off to the side of them. A guard was placed the same distance in all directions of them, putting her and Lucien in their perimeter of safety. If anyone sought to hurt them, they’d have to go through one of the guards before ever reaching them. 

Y/N and Lucien slowed their horses to a brisk walk. 

“How did you know I would want to go on a ride?” She asked. 

Lucien smirked. “Eris said you love horses.” 

“I said that to him once, in passing, when he was still but a stranger.” Y/N shook her head. “Yet he remembers all my words as if they hold such weight.” 

“Because they do,” Lucien countered. 

Y/N ignored him. 

“You know, if you let him get to know you more, he could remember more than just the things you say in passing…”

Y/N’s head whipped around to glare him. “Really? You of all people want to make such comments to me? You flee from your mate every chance you get.” 

“That is not fair and you know it, Y/N. I tried with Elaine more times than I can count – far before you ever joined our ranks, might I add. She wants nothing with me.” 

“And perhaps that is her right,” Y/N growled. 

Lucien cocked an eyebrow. “That wasn’t your tune when you were unaware of having your own mate…” 

Y/N halted her horse to glare into his eyes. 

And he couldn’t help but feel guilty when she did it. 

“Stay out of it, Lucien.” She grumbled before whistling, signaling Aengus into a gallop back to the Forest House. 

Their fun had been ruined, all thanks to Lucien.

The guards quickly followed after her, not bothering to make sure Lucien was with them. But he already knew they weren’t there for him anyway. 

——

Y/N cantered through the gates of the estate and up to the Forest House to find that Eris was saddling his own horse.

And there were nearly thirty sentries already mounted and waiting for their High Lord. 

Eris immediately turned when she halted Aengus just a few yards from him. 

“Where are you off to?” Y/N asked through heavy breaths. She’d pushed Aengus to his highest speed as she’d made her escape from Lucien. 

“Visiting the surrounding villages,” Eris answered. 

Then Y/N’s guards caught up. The High Lord glared at them, noting how they let his mate get away from them. It was obvious that would be discussed when Y/N was out of earshot. 

“May I come?” Y/N blurted out before she could stop herself. 

Eris blinked, evidently taken aback by her request. 

“I promise I will keep to myself,” she added quickly, as if her very presence would be a burden to him. 

Eris frowned, not at her, but at the idea that she could ever see herself as such a burden. “That will not be necessary. You may join me, if that really is your wish. Though I worry the day will bore you…” 

Y/N beamed at his admission. “Oh, I would never find it boring! I have been wanting to see the villages of Autumn. I have read so much about them!” 

Eris tilted his head. “Read?”

But before she could answer or mentally scold herself for saying too much, Lucien came galloping over to them. 

“You are supposed to stay with her,” Eris growled. 

“You try keeping up with her,” his youngest brother shot back with exasperation. “Cauldron, she rides like the wind.” 

But Y/N ignored him, acting as if he weren't even there. And of course Eris caught it.

He ignored his youngest brother as he mounted. “We must leave now to make it back before dark.” 

Lucien glanced back and forth between his brother and Y/N. “She’s going with you?” 

“Yes,” Eris answered with boredom in his tone. “And you are staying here.” 

If his mate was annoyed with his brother, then he would choose her side.

Lucien scoffed. But rode back towards the royal stables. Clearly he didn’t wish to accompany them that badly, for he didn’t even put up a fight. 

“Is this some trick?” Eris asked Y/N quietly, so no one else could hear. “Do you intend to make your escape?

Y/N smiled and leaned toward him. “Guess you will have to wait and see.” 

—

The Forest House was now just a small structure in the distance behind them. Y/N watched it get smaller and smaller before turning back to Eris. 

He wouldn’t leave her side since they left the estate, choosing to ride right alongside her. 

“May I ask perhaps a silly question?” She asked. 

Eris nodded. 

“Why do we not just…winnow to the village?” 

He smirked at her. “It is a fair question. But there are many who reside between the Forest House and Falanaird. I wish to see how even the smallest homes are fairing.” 

Then his smirk grew to a full smile that was almost mischievous. “Besides, the village would be in a panic if their new High Lord appeared before them out of nowhere. I thought it would be better to give them a fair warning of my arrival. By the time we are a few miles out, someone will have alerted them of my presence.” 

Y/N grinned at him. “We are going to Falanaird. I have heard it is quite beautiful…”

Eris narrowed his eyes. “How do you know of Falanaird, little witch?”  

Y/N felt her face heat at his pet name for her. If anyone else used it, she was sure it would irritate her. But coming from him, it only felt sweet. 

But she remained quiet. 

Eris persisted. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your reading you mentioned, would it?”

“I have been reading about the histories of Autumn Court,” Y/N finally admitted quietly. “After training, I go to one of the libraries and read.” 

“What for?” Eris asked.

Y/N laughed. “To learn about your home, of course. Why else?” 

Before Eris could fully let that settle in, she sat up straighter in her saddle and pointed in the distance. “Look!” When he followed her gaze, she was pointing to two small fae children who were standing at the gate of their little cottage, staring at the High Lord’s traveling company with mesmerized expressions

When Eris locked eyes with them, they gasped in fear and ducked behind the fence. 

“They are only little ones,” Y/N scolded when she saw that Eris had a dark look. “There’s no need to intimidate them.” 

Eris blinked, realizing it was a habit that had been ingrained in him for centuries to intimidate any and all who looked upon him. 

But he knew Y/N was right. What good would it be, having children fear him? 

The High Lord let out a sharp whistle, and the entire company came to a halt. 

He jumped off his horse and moved to a small wagon that had been trailing in the back. His reached into a basket. When his hand reappeared, Y/N realized he had grabbed two cookies from what she now realized was a wagon full of food. 

Eris walked to the edge of the fence where the two young ones were hiding on the other side. 

They slowly peaked over it when they heard his approach. 

“No need to fear,” Y/N heard Eris mutter to them. “We are only passing through.” 

With slow hands, each of them reached out to take his offering. And their eyes lit up when they realized what he was handing them. 

They screeched, “Thank you!” And then ran off in a fit of giggles, surely to eat their cookies before their parents could find out and reprimand them. 

Eris then returned to his horse as if nothing happened. And the company continued without questioning or even looking quizzically at their High Lord. 

But Y/N wasn’t going to let it go unnoticed. “I like when you let others see your kindness, Eris.” 

He refused to look at her as he responded with, “I only did it because you went out of your way to guilt me…”

Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes. Of course.”

—

They finally reached Falanaird about an hour later. 

Someone had clearly done as Eris suspected, and warned the entire city of their High Lord’s surprise visit. 

Y/N saw the tension fill Eris’ entire posture as everyone stared. He couldn’t sit any straighter in his saddle. She could see his internal struggle of trying to figure if he should be stern and cold as their leader or break the cycle and lead with kindness and integrity. 

They stopped to dismount. 

“Hold your arm out,” Y/N whispered to him hurriedly. 

He looked at her with confusion. 

“They are scared of you,” she hissed. “Offer me your arm. Trust me.”

To her surprise, Eris did as she said. Like a gentleman, his left arm was held out and Y/N gently placed her hand on his bicep. She noted how thick and strong the muscles were there. 

A red-brown haired male came to greet them. 

“Lord Callum,” Eris greeted formally. 

Callum bowed his head deeply. “To what do we owe the pleasure, High Lord?”

“I am surveying the cities of Autumn Court. Much has been ignored these past centuries. I plan to remedy that with a tour of my court.” 

Callum didn’t hide his surprise at such a gesture. Then his gaze shifted briefly to Y/N. “I see you have graced us with the heroin that is your mate.” Then he bowed at her and greeted her with, "Lady Y/N."

Y/N gave him a shy but warm smile. But she promised Eris she would stay quiet and she was not at all versed in political conversations, especially ones at a royal level. 

“Y/N was rather excited to hear we were visiting Falanaird,” Eris answered. Then he looked down at her with an encouraging look. “Weren’t you?” 

Y/N nervously cleared her throat before saying, “Yes! I heard Falanaird is responsible for the best harvests in all of Prythian. I was excited to see the city for myself.” 

Callum seemed to straighten with pride as such a compliment. “You honor us, Lady Y/N.” 

“Let us discuss the needs of the city, Lord Callum.” Eris commanded. 

Callum bowed his head and gestured for them to walk into the city. 

“Make sure to keep that kindness in your eyes,” Y/N whispered to Eris when everyone else around them was distracted. 

Eris’ face immediately softened with her instruction. But he kept Y/N on his arm as they were guided through the city. 

Callum gave Eris detailed updates on various businesses and citizens of Falanaird. Eris rarely interrupted and when he did, it was to ask for more details on certain matters. 

“And how are the crops fairing this season? I know with the last, there was some issues that my father had little patience for.” 

“Aye,” Callum agreed darkly. “The eggplants and carrots are suffering. The creek used to direct water to the beds has been misdirected and we have been unable to fix it permanently.” 

Eris frowned but nodded.

“What is blocking the creek?” Y/N asked suddenly. 

“A giant pine tree, Lady Y/N. It then flows into a river that we have built an irrigation system for those specific crops.” 

Y/N looked to Eris before continuing. He seemed both amused and curious as to where she was going with her question. 

“Could you take us to it?” She continued shyly. 

“The ground is muddy and no place for a lady,” Callum tried to warn her. 

Y/N smirked before teasing him with, “Worried about getting mud on your nice clothing, Lord Callum? I will survive.”

They hiked through a nearby forest to get to the creek Callum referenced. Eris moved Y/N’s hand from the crook of his arm and laced their fingers instead to help her through the hills and mud. She knew he would never let her fall or so much as trip. 

“We have tried to use fire wielders to incinerate it, but the wood is too moist,” Callum explained. 

“I guess it is a good thing your High Lord is here then?” Y/N answered with a smile. Then she turned to Eris. “If I remove the water, can you set the fallen tree alight?” 

Eris nearly scoffed at the question. “I can destroy it even without your efforts.”

Y/N laughed. “Then by all means…” 

With the wave of his hand, Eris set the tree into flames. Even from their distance, Y/N could feel the warmth of it. 

Through his magic, the tree was nothing but ash in just a few seconds. 

However, the creek was still too low to move the water where it needed to go. 

Y/N stepped forward quietly and then kneeled. She looked at the water as if she were about to have a conversation with it. 

Slowly, she started chanting in a whisper. It was once again a language Eris did not know or understand.

But the water started rippling. He heard crashing of water in the distance, and a mini-monsoon of waves came rushing from the creek’s source, filling it up to the brim. 

Callum looked on in awe. Some of their escorts even let out quiet gasps.

Y/N looked up at the sky. 

Everyone stood behind her, but Eris was at her side. So only he saw when her eyes glazed over in white, like they had on the night they’d killed Beron. 

She chanted again. It seemed to echo through the forest. Like nature was chanting back. 

Thunder cracked over them. 

And then the next second, rain started pouring. 

Callum smiled up as the storm soaked him. 

Y/N turned to him. “Hopefully that does it.”

“Thank you, Lady Y/N. You do not know the miracle you have bestowed upon us.” 

Then he watched on as Eris immediately removed his cloak to cover Y/N’s head and protect her from the rain. 

“Follow me,” Callum said. “There is an inn where you can seek shelter.” 

Eris grabbed her hand again, hurrying them to follow Callum. 

But when they reached an inn at the edge of the forest, the two of them were already soaked. 

Y/N giggled from the ridiculousness, especially when she looked up at Eris to find how irritated he seemed about being wet. 

Without realizing what she was doing, she stepped forward to brush some stray hair off his face and behind his ear. 

“Shall we have a drink?” She asked his sweetly. 

And just like that, Eris’ irritation disappeared and he smiled down at his mate. 

He nodded and nudged his head at the barstools in the tavern that was the bottom floor of the inn. 

His sentries were close on their heels, eyeing the patrons who had already been in the tavern upon their arrival. 

“Keep your distance,” Eris commanded. “I do not need you breathing down my neck.” 

They did as he said, grabbing tables and taking standing posts far enough away that they wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop on their High Lord’s conversation. 

The bartender clearly recognizes Eris, but didn't let it stop his gruff and abrupt attitude when he asked them what they wanted to drink. 

He slammed two giant mugs of ale in front of them, and then left them alone. 

“I see you have more clever tricks up your sleeve, little witch.” 

Y/N frowned a bit. “If I am being honest, they come as a surprise to me, as well.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Ever since that day you found me in the woods…something new has come to the surface. Something…powerful.” Her brow furrowed as her eyes glazed over and she remembered her last days in Night Court. “I almost killed Azriel when we were sparring. I summoned a lightning strike and it almost hit him.” 

Eris smirked. “It would have been a cause for celebration.” 

Y/N pinched his arm. “That is not funny!” 

But Eris’ amusement disappeared as he said, “I will not forgive him for what he did to you. You should have given him your wrath.” 

Y/N stared down into her ale. “The wind said you threatened him when you found out he forgot about me. I guess…I guess it makes sense now that I know our…umm…connection.” 

Eris watched her a moment before he answered. “Well, he would be dead if I did not care about how upset it would make you.” 

Y/N’s face got hot at his confession. So she distracted herself by looking around at the tavern. It was cozy and the light was colored in oranges and reds, only being lit by a hundred candles and two roaring fireplaces. 

“What are your thoughts on Falanaird?” Eris asked after a moment.

“It is beautiful,” Y/N answered immediately. 

“It is no Velaris,” he pointed out. Then a tiny bit of hope sparked in his eyes as he locked gazes with her and added, “But perhaps one day it could be.” 

“Or perhaps…” she replied slowly, “it will be better.”

Eris looked out the window as the rain pelted the glass harshly. “How long did you make it rain for?”

Y/N shrugged and looked a bit embarrassed. “I have not a clue.” 

He laughed. “We could be here all night.” 

“Good thing we’re already at an inn.”

Both their minds went to the scandalous implication of what she may have meant. 

But then Eris remembered what Feyre had once shared with him, what Y/N had confessed to her about her past lovers. And he couldn’t stop the darkness from taking over his face. His grip tightened dangerously on his ale. 

Unfortunately, Y/N interpreted Eris’ sudden shift as his disinterest in the idea of ever sharing a room with her at an inn. 

“Why have you been researching Autumn Court in the libraries?” 

“Library,” she corrected. “Singular.” 

He narrowed his gaze. “You know what I mean. Stop evading my question.” 

Y/N sighed. “I live here now, do I not? I figured I should learn about its history.”

“And you did the same for the Night Court when you lived there?” 

She opened and closed her mouth. “Well…umm n-no, actually.”

Eris looked out the windows again. “Thank you…for your help today, Y/N.” 

“You’re the one who burnt down that giant tree as if it were nothing.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he quickly told her. 

Y/N swallowed, sensing that he was going to say something that would make her heart skip a beat. 

“I find it…difficult deciding who I am supposed to be as High Lord of this court. I do not want to be my father, that I am sure of. But after centuries of wearing a mask…it’s harder to take it off than I ever could have imagined.”

She nodded. 

Eris stared at her a moment before finally confessing, “I find it easier with you at my side. That is what I am thanking you for.” 

Y/N reached for his hand, softly covering it. “Kindness is not a weakness. Just like cruelness does not equate to strength.” 

“Even Rhysand wears a mask to control his subordinates,” Eris argued. “I have seen his charades at the Court of Nightmares.” 

Y/N watched him with confusion. “But why compare yourself to him?” 

“You have seen the headway he’s made as High Lord. His true court is made up of dreamers, not high-borns given power by birthright alone. He has assured female Illyrians have the same opportunities to train as males, and tried his hardest to put a stop to wing clipping. The citizens of Velaris do not fear him, they respect him. How am I not to compare myself?” 

“That is his legacy, not yours.” She urged. “You have only been High Lord for a month, Eris. Give yourself time. You have plenty of it.”  

But Eris said nothing in return, only got lost in his internal battle of self loathing and unrealistic expectations he has put on himself. 

Y/N leaned forward. “Do you know why I insisted that Callum shows us the empty creek? Because I knew you could fix it. And what your people need to see is that you care – about them, about their cities. They need to see that you do not believe you are above their troubles.”

She leaned back. “So you go to village after village in Autumn Court, and you show them that you care.” 

Eris could stop his beaming from her words. “You will come with me?”

Because what did any of this matter if she didn’t?

Eris was starting to realize he couldn’t do any of it without her. 

“And when it is safe for you to leave?”

Y/N frowned at such a subject being brought up. 

She nodded toward the windows. “It has stopped raining.” 

One of his sentries approached. “High Lord, we should start our journey back to the Forest House before it gets too late.” 

Eris reached into his pocket for coins to pay the bartender. 

“Don’ botha,” the bartender spat his his thick accent. “It’s on the ‘ouse.” Then his eyes shifted between the two of them as he dried a glass. “For riddin’ us o’ that favver o’ yours. The both o’ yer.”

When they got outside, someone had already brought their horses for them. 

Y/N tried to return Eris’ cloak to him, quietly handing it to him. The thick fabric was damp for their attempt at shielding her from the rain.

Eris took it, lightly blew on it, and handed it right back to her. 

Y/N eyes widened in surprise when she found that it was completely dry and also warm like it had been sitting by a fire for hours. 

“Keep it,” he instructed firmly. “The sun is setting within the hour.”  

—

They were only 20 or so minutes from the Forest House when Eris saw Y/N’s head bob from falling asleep. 

Her horse, Aengus, kept moving closer and closer to Eris, as if he was worried for his rider and was making sure Eris would be able to catch Y/N if she fell off. 

She was in an exhausted and delirious daze. She could hear the conversations around her. But they felt unreal, like she was in a dream or sleepwalking. 

“Should we move her to the wagon to sleep, High Lord?” One of the guards asked quietly, as if he feared waking her. 

“That won’t be necessary.”

Then Y/N, half asleep, felt a tug on the right side of her saddle. A large mass mounted her horse and pulled themselves behind her in the saddle.

But she recognized Eris’ scent and warmth immediately, stopping her from startling and fully waking up. 

“You were falling asleep in your saddle, little witch. And at risk of falling right off your horse,” Eris whispered in her ear. “Go back to sleep.” 

His arms reached around her, taking her reigns and also caging in her body protectively. 

And she did just that, leaning back against her mate and falling into a deep sleep now that she knew she would be safe from falling off her horse. 

What she didn’t think about was that Eris could have easily winnowed both of them home. She would never put together that her mate finds any way to extend their time together – even if it existed as her falling asleep against his strong chest and he rode them home safely. 

Y/N barely stirred when they returned to the Forest House and Eris gently pulled her from the saddle, landing on the ground with her in his arms. 

His footsteps echoed down the halls.

“Cauldron, what happened?” She recognized Leonora’s worried voice in her sleep. 

“She is only sleeping, mother.”

“The poor thing must be exhausted. Waking up at the crack of dawn to train herself nearly to the point of collapsing. Only for you to force her on a trip to Falanaird afterward.”

Eris sighed. “She insisted. I am going right to the Weapons Master after putting her to bed to tell him their lessons are canceled tomorrow. She needs rest.” 

“Perhaps you should take the day, too.” Leonora urged. “Together.”

--------

Please please please please please please let me know what you think! Be like @pancakefancake

[regulusrules]

New to your blog, I was wondering if you have a Merlin fic rec list that's just your favorites. I unfortunately missed the Merlin fandom back when the show was airing so I always feel like I'm just missing the greatest stuff from other people

Hello friend! Welcome to my humble abode of a blog (which resembles more of a Merlin waste disposal). Like you, I missed the show when it was airing, but honestly when you stay as long in this fandom as I have, you will constantly be exposed to wonderful creative energies that give their all. It's a timeless fandom, one of the very few, and no matter when you enter it you will always feel fulfilled. :)

So, favourite fics! Gosh, how can I fit 2K+ bookmarks in one ask. When it comes to this fandom, I admit: I have no life. I've read a real huge number of fics throughout the years, but sometimes it's inevitable for fics to get lost in a sea of bookmarks. So to make things easier, I'll write you some canon fics that immediately come to my mind for how unforgettable they were.

No order; each one has its own chamber in my heart.

Short fic recs (1K-50K)

1. Our broken pieces by @aramblingjay. 10K, T, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort.

Am I purposefully putting this one on top this time so that everyone who stumbles across this ask could check it out? Yes. Yes I am. Is it my personal mission for the fandom to give this fic the love and kudos it deserves? You bet it's a big overbearing yes. And yes I want you to cry and feel your heart twist with agony because of how beautiful it is. My eyes never shed tears for a fic before this one, and never will after it. There is something in the way the author broke Arthur that just resonated in my innards. And the way Merlin was there for him, not a placebo "I'm here" but there, in all actuality, doing so with every fiber of his love, made it something else. I like to believe that this fic was crafted so perfectly in a parallel universe, and sent to us as a blessing we never knew we needed.

2. Beauty in the Ashes of Our Lives by Fulgance. 21K, T, Canon AU, Magic Reveal.

This is probably the umpteenth time for me to recommend this fic, but I won't stop. I can't stop. This fic ruined me so slowly, and healed me even slower. All my Merlin friends do not believe why this would be one of my favourite fics of all time with what Arthur did, but honestly, it's the fact that the writer wrote it so convincingly that makes me crumble internally. It isn't easy to write angry Arthur, and it's even harder to write him grief-stricken, but here, the author blended both elements so perfectly. It's impossible to forget this fic. It's worth your every second.

3. Linger On Your Pale Blue Eyes by supercalvin. 18K, T, Canon Era, Touch-Starved.

Will this fic linger in your heart? It sure as hell never leaves mine. Every once in a while, I have to go back to this fic and read it like a morning paper. Some fics sustain you.. this is definitely one of them. Most of @supercalvin's fics are of sustaining material. They are made with such depth and broad understanding to the characters that you should take notes. There's this one line that everytime I cross this fic I instantly remember and I go to the nearest pillow to just AAA a little bit. When you reach it, I'm sure you'll recognise it, and I'll be waiting for you to come AAA with me.

4. Dower the Stars by RurouniHime. 40K, E, Golden Age, Pining Arthur, BAMF Merlin.

I don't think anything levels the levels of intimacy in this fic. It is one of the best Arthur characterizations I've ever read. His boundless love and pining for Merlin— oh my heart. Also, the world building and amount of research that must have been done for this fic is astounding. I was this close from following the author's footsteps and, idk, writing an entire research paper about Arthurian lore or something. The moment I read it I immediately wanted to contact the author and just tell them WHY ARE YOU BLESSING US WITH ALL THIS INSTEAD OF PUBLISHING IT?? It was amazing. I reread it a month ago for the third (fourth?) time and found myself gasping and aweing as if I never read it before. It keeps being an experience every time, one so worthwhile.

5. from hearth and ashes, we’re reborn by @remuscariad. 5K, G, Canon AU, Magic Reveal, Hurt/Comfort.

Earthshatteringly-poetic isn't a made-up word powerful enough to describe the beauty of prose here. There are fics that you open and immediately know that you're sold: this was one of them. Its summary alone dropped my jaw down to my neighbour's floor. The dialogue is so meticulously crafted it feels like reading a piece from a past era. Genuinely beautiful.

6. Half of my soul by marvelxpendragon. 2K, G, Post-Canon AU, King Arthur/Court Sorcerer Merlin.

This fic is half of my soul, as the poets say. So what if I reject the canonic ending and resort to pain myself with fics like this instead? I sometimes feel we, as a fandom, try to up the angst of the finale so that we forget how painful it was by bringing even MORE pain. But it's pain that I delight in, because it's pain that MAKES SENSE. Yes give me MCD but with a freaking beautiful life like the one this author gave us. Make me believe it was all worth something. Make me believe they lived.

7. whisper to the flame by @missfaber. 16K, E, Canon AU, Wounded Arthur, Hurt/Comfort.

*clears throat* *prepares for a mental scream*TELL ME HOW YOU LIGHT YOUR FIRESSSSS *clears throat once more and pretends I'm okay*

So, as the author wrote, this is indeed a love letter to the two characters we love more than anything. More than anything, I loved the fact that the author gave Arthur agency to think and act and be a king, even when he was still a prince. Even in most fics where Arthur already knows, this isn't common. So whenever I find a fic that has Smart!Arthur and a lovesick one at that, I would vouch my life and soul for it. Also Protective!Knights is the best thing in the world, ok? I would die for this discourse for real.

8. As a Sea Shell by bathilda bagshot (wellthengameover). 12K, T, Canon AU, Slow Burn.

Okay, so this fic is only bookmarked "Agony until 7 AM", and with that, a rush of drowning memories always come crushing my soul. I lost sleep and SANITY over this fic. I was thrown from a cliff and kept hanging in the air without a respite until the very END. I read it a couple weeks after the finale and it broke me even FURTHER. I was promised growing old together, and it was a big LIE. And yet I love it so, so dearly.

Honourary biased mention:

9. My heart is readily yours by yours truly. 11K, T, Canon AU, Protective Arthur, Hurt/Comfort.

Sometimes I don't believe I had it in me to write this. Like.. what, dearest self, the hell were you thinking. With tyismso, I somehow balanced fluff and angst— a solid magic reveal fic. But this one? I only knew ✨pain✨

.. and I don't regret a thing.

[Long fic recs]

[pleasantanathema]

Pleasant’s Writer Recs!

I’ve gotten a few asks in my inbox over the past few weeks asking me for writer recs, so I thought the best way to do this was to compile a list of my fav authors on tumblr and rec my favorite fic of theirs! A lot of these amazing authors are moots—I’m very lucky to call many of them close friends. This list could be much longer, and I could go on for days about every single author, but I’ll try to keep it brief. Most all of these authors, like myself, write 18+ only content. Hopefully this can be a useful tool for authors and readers alike looking for amazing fanfic 💕

@bakatenshii | Angel is so phenomenal with her writing that I almost can’t put her style and amazing ability into words (but I’ll try). Angel’s work is beautiful, masterful, full of poetry, elegance, and smut that will all leave you gasping. Fav Fic: Blitz [Ushijima x Reader]

@blahkugo | Sunnt, Thunnth, Sunny, whatever you call her, she is brilliant. No one writes Tsukishima quite like she does. She is beyond creative and her writing style flows like the sexiest water, it’ll make you thirsty and quench your aches. Fav Fic: Tower [Tsukishima x Reader]

@deathcab4daddy | Tay is all about details, details, details. She fills in every gap and paints gorgeous, sexy pictures and situations for the reader to feel immersed in. Fav Fic: Cerulean Blue [Akaashi x Reader]

@dymphnasprose | Dymphna is all about fun, sex, and slowly filling out her holy bible of smut. She’s amazing at creating realistic sub/dom relationships and her smut almost always comes with a healthy dose of build-up. Fav Fic: Green Scrunchies [Ukai x Reader]

@enjifuckersupreme | Ketsl reigns supreme over pure, unadulterated porn. They are phenomenal at making me the reader wet, and every fic is crafted with so much care. Enji fuckers should bow down at their feet, no one loves and writes Enji like Ketsl. Fav Fic: Attitude Adjustment [Enji x Reader]

@hisoknen | Raph is one of the first dark blogs I ever started reading, and she never, ever disappoints. She writes pieces that chill you to the bone, but warms your sex- her writing is casual, smooth, and realistic, always giving you everything you need, but leaving you wanting a little more. Fav Fic: Sleeping Beauty [Dabi x Reader]

@hoe-doroki | Ana is one of the sweetest writers I know. Every time I talk to her, she’s working on comfort requests or beta-reading for other people. Her writing is such a pleasure to read, as you can tell she pours love and consideration into every fic for her readers. Fav Fic: Can’t Find My Breath [Bakugou x Reader]

@joyousandverywarlike | Zo...holy fucking shit. Zo is a writer who consistently blows me out of the water with her skill. This woman is a novelist blessing us with juicy, rich smut and love stories like no one else can. She is incredibly poetic and her writing is an absolute joy to read; she also writes amazing fics for black readers and has an amazing voice that she uses for asmr audios! Fav Fic: How We Met [Ushijima x Reader]

@lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten | Leah is an author who takes immense care with her work. She works incredibly hard to craft sexy, healthy bdsm fics for bnha. She is a great blog to go to for bdsm education, and she’s also got a side blog @lemonlordleah-extra-sour for all you extra naughty readers who like the darker side of fanfic. You should also check out her Patreon! Fav Fic: Between the Evergreen [Aizawa x Reader]

@linestrider | Nyki’s work is like smooth water, it’s calming, refreshing, but she also adds a nice, chill bite to it as well with her darker style. Nyki puts such an impressive amount of care into her work; a word is never out of place, every sentence has meaning, every paragraph gives you something new. It was very hard to choose just one fic to recommend. Fav Fic: What’s Said is Said [Hawks x Reader]

@lookslikeleese | Leese is one of the most fun writers on Tumblr, and by that I mean you just have a shitload of fun reading her fics. They are like little, sexy treats to take in right before bed and feel a little more full than you were before. She is also the Cucking Queen. Fav Fic: Cola [Enji x Reader] 

@messwriting | Lee is also another fun writer! Her writing is exhilarating to read, and you’d never guess she’s a sexy Brazilian whose second language is English based on how well she writes. She’s a little sex goddess who will give you everything you want and more in every fic. Fav Fic: What We Could’ve Been [Tsukishima x Reader]

@mindninjax | Marquie is a full on sweetie with a sexy side. She. Is. So. Creative. Every fic of hers is so unique and her masterlist is a whole reading experience. She writes Bakugou Katsuki so damn well, she’s a master at characterization, even in au’s. She also writes beautiful fics for black readers. Fav Fic: Bound to You [Bakugou x Reader]

@nekokoafanfictions | I first found Ai on Ao3, and then was fortunate enough to come across their blog here on Tumblr! I’ve said this before in previous rec lists, and I’ll say it again, I still read their fics some nights to fall asleep to, they are just that good, every fic will have you coming back at some point to read it again. Fav Fic: City Lights [Enji x Reader]

@present-mel | The. Queen. Of. Dialogue. Mel is a master at making her fanfic feel real, gritty, sexy, and beautiful all at the same time. This woman pours her heart and soul into fanfic, especially into her Erwin series Fragments of Memories. I was so captivated by her work that I just had to become her friend, her work is enchanting and thrilling. Fav Fic: Until the Fire Played [Enji x Reader]

@rat-suki | Annie makes me horny. Like, real horny. Her smut is fantastic and are often little thrill rides within themselves. Fuck rollercoasters, just go to Annie’s masterlist to find a joy ride. Fav Fic: Hell Fire [Enji x Reader]

@rivendell101 | I’m such a big fan of Alisha, that I sent her a request months ago before we even became friends. This author knows how to craft a story, her work is very meticulous with details and her plots are always so spot on. Fav Fic: Sweet Thing [Natsuo x Reader]

@smutbardpeach | Smutbard is the most accurate title for Peach, as her fics read like poetry and song, filled with beautiful language, imagery, and allusions to the brim. If you’re ever looking for something romantic, sensual, delightful, and just overall magnificent to read, this is the blog to go to. Peach’s work is like reading poetry and classics right off the shelf. Fav Fic: Truth in Wine [Hizashi x Reader]

@spicyness | Are you thirsty? Do you like fun, sexy headcanons? Ness is the author for you. Ness is so, so fun and sweet, and is active with her followers and is always posting something new and creative for us to nibble at. Her blog is full of fun thirsts and she’s always a joy to see pop-up on my dash. Fav Fic: Pride [Bakugou x Reader]

@sugardaddykenma | Lin has the most amazing brain. I wish I could just...see and understand how she thinks. Her blog is full to the brim with hilarious, iconic, and down right fucking true headcanons for haikyuu characters. Many nights I have stayed up laughing my ass off and saying “why is that so true?” while reading through her astonishingly creative work. Fav Fic: Haikyuu on Drugs

@thewheezingwyvern | Wyv is a writer who gets straight to the point; her words are poignant, meaningful, and always paint a very clear picture. She is a Shinsou and Aizawa lover/fucker all the way to her core, and she’s amazing at bringing those characters to life in her work. Fav Fic: Salt Lines [Aizawa & Shinsou x Reader]

@thisisthehardestthing | Claudia is one of the most talented writers I have ever met. Period. She has a vocabulary, a depth, an ability to craft the most intense, alluring, and magnificent fanfic you’ve ever read. Most of her work doesn’t even seem like fanfic, it reads like love letters stuffed into the pages of a book that stand the test of time with her marvelous writing abilities. She always awes me, as every single fic is unique and powerful it its own way. Fav Fic: Tocka [Tanaka x Reader]

@tomurasprincess | The Queen of Darkness herself, Mari is amazing at fulfilling all of your dark desires. I’ve never met anyone else who is as active as she is with her followers, as she’s constantly pushing herself to answer requests and give people exactly what they want to see. She has such an expansive masterlist, any dark fic lover can find something worthwhile from her! She’s almost made a Shigaraki fucker out of me, almost. Fav Fic: Wraith’s Touch [Shigaraki x Reader]

@undermattsun | Miki taught me what a skate rat is. Do I understand it yet? Not really, but I fucking like it. Miki is so much fun and is always active with her followers, giving out awesome thirsts, visuals, and headcanons for her fav haikyuu characters. Fav Fic: Flavor of the Month [Matsukawa x Reader]

@vixen-scribbles | Vixen is someone who cares about everyone around her, and her blog reflects that. Amongst all her amazing writing, you’ll always find her recommending her friends and supporting other writers. Her writing is fucking sexy, she knows her way around the bedroom when it comes to fics, and she’s got a lengthy masterlist to fawn over. Fav Fic: Take All of Me [Ushijima x Reader]

@whats-her-quirk | Truly, the best has been saved for last. June’s work is the heart and soul of classic, fucking amazing fanfic. I can’t even explain how much I love her fics, like they will put the biggest smile on your face and have your thighs rubbing together in anticipation. June is writing her fantasies and having fun, and we are privileged to enjoy the ride with her. She knocked kinktober out of the fucking park, with each fic being a new, fresh delight. Fav Fic: Once in a Blue Moon [Karasuno x Reader Gangbang]

This list could honestly be twice as long, and perhaps in the future I’ll make a companion to it as I meet new authors and read more amazing fanfic. Please give all these authors a follow or at least check out their blogs. 💖

[lizzibennet]

rewatching some of bridgerton s1 because i hate myself and thinking about how from early on the featheringtons were often portrayed as the stark opposites to the bridgertons - literally one of the very first scenes of the show is both families leaving for the queen’s presentation and being compared because of that - and how that was pretty much dropped in s2 in favor of the what’s his name jewel plot when like. that is SUCH good framing? show!penelope is a very unsympathetic character in the fandom rn (with good fucking reason!!) so s3 will have to do a lot of heavy lifting with her character before we can root for a romance including her to work. since s2 touches, however briefly, on penelope’s reasons for being lw - with her telling eloise she did something great, etc - i think it could’ve been really compelling to show the beginnings of her becoming lw, or going back even further and showing her being emotionally neglected by her family and how her need of attention and to prove herself “great” and worthy is a byproduct of that. this doesn’t need to excuse the truly heinous things she does, but merely explaining her reasons gives her much more depth and in the end that is what the show NEEDED to do because she is going to be a protag, so imo it was really irresponsible to just kind of relegate her to a secondary role. if you’re going to include the featheringtons with an unrelated plot, naturally you need to include penelope, she is the most important character of the family. with this foundation built it would be really easy for s3 to compare penelope and colin and how similar they are in matter of personality but how differently they turned out because of their circumstances - colin’s pursuit of greatness leads him to travel and try to make sense of the world and of himself by acquiring life experiences because he is supported by his family who believes in him doing whatever it is he wants to, whereas penelope’s want of meaning has nowhere to go because of her family’s lack of interest in her but also because she is a woman. so in that sense their relationship would not only be a natural development of their shared needs and beliefs but also something that felt almost inevitable, which to me is one of the parts of friends to lovers i love the most. Since they were clearly uninterested in doing anything interesting with the featheringtons in s2, wasting our time with the stupid what’s his face plot, i wonder where they’re going with them in s3, if they’re going to be characterize as simply villains and going to lose the little depth the show’s given them so far, and if they’re going to try to give them more of it then i do wonder how they’re going to fit all of that + a romance in 8 episodes

[golvio]

I’m not sure if I 100% agree with this, because based on what we know about him in pre-coup OOT, WW, and the parts of TotK that didn’t frustrate the hell out of me, he seems like he’s typically fairly good at bottling things up. Based on what little we see of him at court, he’s good at appearing composed, even if his public persona comes across as closed-off and frosty and he can’t resist getting a few passive-aggressive verbal jabs in at people he especially hates.

I don’t think he would’ve had the reputation he did in TotK if he constantly wore his heart on his sleeve, because people were thoroughly unprepared to deal with the true depths of his emotions even though TotK seems to connect magic power with the caster’s depth of feeling. For example, if he had actually behaved the way he felt during the Molduga scene, he probably would’ve thrown a screaming tantrum. Instead, he simply outwardly appeared mildly annoyed.

The thing is, we don’t actually start directly observing him until after he’s gotten Tired of Being Nice and has Gone Apeshit. After spending years keeping his feelings to his chest, now that he has the power to not face consequences for showing feelings that weren’t allowed by whoever had power over him, he’s now ripped off his stoic mask and is letting it all out, hamming it the hell up, etc. During the game proper, he is emotionally like the Isaac Car Mod, wildly careening on an unstoppable joyride until he hits something impassable and explodes.

It’s like with Wind Waker—usually he seems chilly and distant. The facade only cracks when things start to touch on the sources of his grief, such as Princess Zelda and the Triforce. He only throws it off when he has nothing left to lose, and even then he tries to die with some semblance of regal dignity, refusing to give his enemies the satisfaction of seeing him weeping or otherwise falling apart.

Like…I think the one thing TotK’s characterization of him got right is that he’s very concerned with how other people see him, so he wants to project a very specific image at all times. It’s like how he behaved in this very detached, “grown-up” way in Cadence of Hyrule when he was a little kid in the present era. We knew from Barriara’s dialogue that the Gerudo didn’t really give him the respect he felt he was owed as king due to him being very young and very small for his age, so he put on that “adult” demeanor and became obsessed with being as competent as possible because he wanted people to take him seriously.

But the key words, for me, are “outward expression.” It’s undeniable that he’s a very emotional and sentimental person deep down. He wouldn’t be the way he is if he wasn’t capable of profound passions or forming attachments (good and bad). However, he’s so good at hiding them that people get caught off guard once he starts behaving more authentically. They know he’s capable of malice because he appears cold, but they underestimate just how much he’s capable of because they only expect to deal with those surface-level emotions he lets people see. And if he cries, he would likely do so in private, barring a very extreme situation where he can’t hold back in public (or actively didn’t want to as a massive flex over the people who would’ve ordinarily punished him for “showing weakness,” which was the vibe his Demon King form gave off).

That last post has me thinking that, again because we often only see Ganondorf in the role of the Big Bad Villain That We Must Take Down that he does come through, at first glance, as one note. From this one note villainy the tendency is to extract characteristics from him that are associated with one-note villainy such as callousness, selfishness, being emotionless, caring only for his goal and nothing and no one else, having the wish to only bring harm upon others, having no redeeming or noble qualities etc. To be fair, I do see (and know) that many of these qualities do in some measure or another apply to Ganondorf because again, we don't know much about him apart from the fact that he seeks power to be the ruler of Hyrule and will crush anyone in his path to take it. That all being said, I don't think that Ganondorf is as emotionless or callous as he may come off to be. I always find it quite funny how expressive Ganondorf is. He sucks so badly at keeping a poker face. His intent is written all over his face, his body language, and even in his words. The only reason he ever does manage to catch his enemies off guard is always under the pretense that he simply does not have the power or ability to accomplish what his intent is aka underestimation of his cunning and his will. Even then I would argue that his cunning is not that impressive; he doesn't do much to really hide his presence, as if he just cannot help but leave some mark of the damage or fear he has spread out of sheer pettiness, and just wanting to let the people he hates know that he is fucking their shit up. You always know what he is feeling just from the way he reacts to things, because he can't help but seemingly wear his heart on his sleeve. Anyways I think that, amongst the three that he is probably the most emotional one, or at least outwardly emotional. I don't think he's incapable of love; I think he loves far too intensely to his own detriment. He loves Hyule, and he is obsessed with it. He thinks having control over it will solve all his problems. His reverence runs really deep too if you think about it. He respects the laws the gods have laid out, and he seeks legitimacy within their framework. Never does he express the intent to become a god himself. He may express his hatred and dismay at them, but yet still seeks their approval, that they acknowledge him in a favorable way. He is prone to bursts of insanity and mental breakdowns, to the point that he will defy death. I think Ganondorf's emotions are off the charts and that is what fuels his adrenaline rushes that would have killed anyone else.

What's the point of all this, you ask? Simple really. You really think Ganondorf never cries? Oh he would never do that in front of anyone but I bet he has had some very angry frustration-fuelled cries in privacy, especially with all the pressures he has to face.

[chihirolovebot]

!!!NEW CHAPTER I'M SQUEALING LIKE STEAM POPPING OUT OF A TEAPOT!!

Gosh I love your writing so much, it's always so well worth the wait <3 your imagery is second to none I stg,

"You were full of stones drifting down to the riverbed, watching the shimmering surface recede before you, powerless to stop it."

Like -- ugh, I literally can't conjure up the right way to describe that reading your work doesn't really feel like reading at all with how submersive it is. As always, your characterization is straight from the game canon. The way you subtly show Miu's struggle as the weight of what she's about to do is starting to crush her is just so delicious, I'm sick and clutching my chest. I was reading Kiibo's and MC's argument and literally thinking about how it so easily parallels Kokichi's relationship to the MC in terms of trust and keeping secrets. It's oddly satisfying in the most angsty of ways seeing the MC on the opposite side of that coin now, y'know? Now THEY are the one doing questionable things to protect that sweet, innocent-eyed individual they call a friend, one that undoubtedly deserves their trust and is begging for them to do so. Corruption arc for the reader??? A little hint of one anyway??? Their loyalty to those they care about is getting ground up into both a virtue and a flaw because of the circumstances and I am EATING it up. Also, them wanting to try to stop Miu in their own way but struggling to do so with just conversation?? I love them so much it hurts :((((((

And and and, knowing how this case originally goes, I saw that; I saw that tiny, eensy weensy little detail you changed, my hand went to cover my mouth and my mind is now BURNING with curiosity as to how these next couple updates are gonna go. I'm on the edge of my seat, leaning so far forward that I might fall off even.

I don't remember if I mentioned it last time, but I absolutely LOVE the overhaul of Tenko's character. She was one of my least favorites when playing V3 originally, mostly because I was really upset with how they executed their (kinda) first openly lesbian character, twisting her potential into some lesbophobic caricature that's creepily obsessed with fetishizing Himiko. But oh, how you've kept her close enough of the original to keep her feeling like the same character, but managed to save her potential, fleshing out her character, combined with her design update just gives me life; yours is now the canon Tenko and I will NOT be taking criticism or hearing otherwise~~

The moment between Kokichi and the reader right before they started to put on the helmets?? Faints. I literally can't say enough how you have absolutely NAILED this relationship and his character in general. Sometimes reading Kokichi fics, people make it all about the lying thing, but they don't really ever go into the depth of WHY he lies so much or the other aspects of his character, like his distrust in other people and his seeming lack of attachment or reliance on them, his hatred of killing and the desire to protect people in his own way going hand in hand. Sobs and shakes his stupid little purple head. He is such an excellent morally grey character, and you execute every scene with him perfectly. Also, you can tell his walls are STARTING to come down the reader now that he's let them in, his touches getting a tad more affectionate, it somehow feels like there's more weight behind his silly little flirtatious quips now-- my heart races with the MC at the smallest things like him holding their hand

I am so excited to see if the reader can manage to get under his skin enough in time to save him before these flaws of his lead to his downfall, or if Kokichi's influence leads to an even stronger corruption of the MC's character as they try to help him and get them both killed in the process, or I could even see the reader eventually sacrificing themselves for him and opening up his eyes in the worst way possible what his actions have led to. No matter what, I'm going to love every moment of it~

You've created such a wonderful story here Vee, I still remember stumbling across it and clicking on the title in curiosity, and now you've got me and countless others in a chokehold with every update. I know you've fallen on seriously tough times recently, because of course, life just does that to you sometimes, and even though you're doing better for now... you've got a village, a lil community behind you, and we all love you and are here for you if you need anything~ Please take as much time as you need between updates, and pls pls take care of yourself -wraps you in a blankie and pets your head and makes you cocoa or tea or whatever you want- you deserve it, I'm probably gonna wind up rereading the newest chapt again tonight to catch the other little things I might have missed~ and I know I've said it already, but taking care of yourself also means you never have to reply to my literal essays born from love and brainrot for this fic, I have WAY too much to say as it is haha, and I know it can be emotionally exhausting trying to come up with responses sometimes (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

Thank you for another amazing chapter, I'm biting my hand eagerly waiting to see what comes next. Take care and have a good weekend~~!!

LOVE OKAY hi. HI. i did want to respond 2 this earlier but i got sick very shortly after (covid rip) and now i feel ok enough to look at a screen i am finally getting around to it (i know u think i do not have to respond but i simply do) !

first of all. thank u so much as always!!! my brain literally short circuits when i see these comments/asks like u do not know how insane ur making me /pos.

the mc stuff these last few and future chapters make me feel so Evil.... like yes maybe they do go a little insane and degenerate. and ofc ur spot on with the parallels of mc/kiibo with kokichi/mc n im happy that was obvious bc i was kinda stressing abt it when i was writing it hehe i was like 'uhghghg how to show that the nature of the killing game intentionally warps the actions of a well-meaning person trying to protect those they care about which only ends in their classmates fearing and distrusting them hhhdhdhshsjhsdh pulls out my own hair.' as for the corruption arc.... hm. Hm. also this 'Their loyalty to those they care about is getting ground up into both a virtue and a flaw because of the circumstances' HELLO??? this is a gorgeous way to describe it im literally staring . lurking n stalking over this. and that's just it!!! loyalty is an osentibly good trait to have but during a killing game where the only way to help ur classmates is to make them distrust u.... god. it's a flaw in the sense that it makes mc's friends doubt and grow frustrated with them, but of course it's a virtue in that mc IS doing all they're doing for them!!! pain and agony.

also the miu stuff was very fun to write. i love miu, she's probably myyyy fourth favourite? from v3? gonna say cautiously bc my rankings change all the time but she's definitely up there, moreso for the potential she could've had in the main game. it always burned me that the only depth she ever really got was like. AFTER her death? and told through the grapevine no less. there's such an interesting parallel in her character to kokichi and it sucks it wasn't explored more i think. i hope i made her a little more of a Person in this fic even if i didn't focus on her as much as the others.

tenko. oh tenko. talk abt characters with a ton of potential that got done SO Dirty by the source matieral. it was all right there ! and they just made her into a predatory lesbian and killed her at the peak of her character development as they love to do (sideyes hiyoko and taka). yeah i definitely consciously took out all the lines that made her look like a weirdo. i think her openly liking himiko a lot would be enough to make someone like himiko uncomfortable WITHOUT tenko being weirdly predatory and fetishing her so. that's what i did. new tenko is just openly admirative of himiko which still makes her uncomfy but for like. better reasons i guess. and now they get a chance to actually DEVELOP their relationship instead of another bury ur gays ur whatever.

GODDDD kokichi breaks my heart man. and ur so right that a lot of fics that write him don't delve into the 'why' of his character. every line i write for him i think to myself, okay, what is he ACTUALLY feeling right now? would it make sense for him to say this, does it align with his end-goal, is it ooc for him to reveal this much? PLUS having to keep in mind all the tactics he uses in general conversation, like poking people in the right direction for answers without straight up telling them, or saying something absurd or flustering them to change the topic or divert someone's attention away from something. basically behind every line of dialogue he says u gotta be thinking in terms of the bigger picture, when u don't so much for the rest of the characters. im sure thats also something u get, writing for nagito!! bc he's also a super complex character with a lot of weight behind all his lines. definitely feels like a guy who everything he says tells u a little bit about him if ur looking closely!!

last part of this made me a lil emotional uh oh. thank u so much love, i appreciate it so so much. btw i LOVE replying to these n the longer and more nonsensical the better /gen thank u thank u thank u again (ps i saw the final piece had updated yesterday but i havent gotten around to reading it yet!! im planning on setting some time aside this evening so get ready for another stupid novel comment ehehe)

pls take care of urself!! i hope ur having a good day <333

[mc-critical]

How would you rank Sultan Süleyman’s children in the show based on how well and distinctly and consistently characterized they are?

I sometimes feel like I'm in the minority in my thinking that nearly all the princes are well characterized or, at the very least, fulfill their thematic purpose. Now, is there a narrative outlining of their roles that often tends to point us to who should we root for or not? Yes, of course. It's pretty clear who is favored by the writing and who holds the central focus. But is this that damaging to the characters of the princes? Well, for me they have way more depth than people I've encountered give them credit for, even like this.

Still though, the one prince that deserved better from the writing and should've been explored more is definitely Mehmet. When it comes to sympathy, I like him fine - he's a nice and well-meaning guy who is loyal to the people closest to him and his fate is nothing short of sad and tragic. I sympathize with his desire to go to a sanjack and gain experience there, this is the strongest piece of motivation we got from him. He certainly loves strongly, doesn't think bad of anyone and isn't yet ready for the dangers of the world around him, he's vulnerable to them because he hasn't gotten out of the castle for so long and everyone has been cool with him at the least. That also reveals a degree of passivity in him. He strongly values his father's decisions and respects them even when he's not okay with them (when he refuses to let him go to a sanjack) or when someone else isn't (i.e. Mihrimah). He can stand up for himself at times, but caves to the will of his parents in the end anyway because of his dedication to them. But these characteristics are only set up, not properly delved into. He ends up being underused and undeveloped, gets almost no material on his own and what he does get isn't fully about him except for his antics in Manisa at the end of the season, he's just more often a background character than anything else. He's pretty consistently characterized, but he's more one-note compared to the other princes. Though I have to admit that retroactively we can see why SS favors him so much, albeit it being more "inside the lines", because it's a theme that gets more explored in S04 than in S03, and his fatal flaw is defined from the start, which is a nice touch, all things considered. He had potential with his dynamics, but we weren't given enough even with his good interactions with Hürrem and Mihrimah that added flavor nonetheless. I spoke more about the problems I have with him here. (I came off as rather biased in that ask, but my thoughts stand. There I also linked my stance on SS's relationship with him, because it's both thematically interesting and Mehmet's most fleshed out relationship.) I have to say I do like little Mehmet more, because he looked more active as a character (he's the second most characterized little prince after Mustafa, along with little Cihangir as well.) in his childish wish to marry Aybige, in being next to Cihangir along with the others, in his little story with Mihrimah about the breaking of Hürrem's crown where we could see both of their contrasting approaches to the problem, in him being glad for Mustafa going to the sanjack even there... Yes, it is also setup and I may be overanalyzing it, but it was enough in that point of the show. Older Mehmet didn't really get the chance to go beyond that setup.

I have a soft spot for Cihangir. Some think that his love for Mustafa is his entire character, but in my opinion, that's further from the truth. He has a well-defined personality and arc: he's bookish, he's interested in art and is also shown to have political capability (him, Mustafa and Bayezid advising SS to go to Rome.). He's the one who's the least in the throne war, their moral compass, so to say, their only piece of innocence left (Selim and Bayezid even acknowledge it at some point), yet is very perceptive of his surroundings, the only one out there who has the chance to look at this fight as an outside observer, which is why he can see and understand all perspectives the way he does (as seen as his interactions with Hürrem and his speech about the fears to Mihrimah.). He doesn't play an active part of the fight, he doesn't intrigue or scheme, he doesn't like such methods, but he still has an established side and scolds those he sees as wrong. He doesn't stand by when someone does something he doesn't agree with. He openly shares his views. His relation to his unfortunate condition is very interesting: he knows he's loved and appreciated by those around him for who he is, but he's understandably still upset that he can't live life as every prince does. He's aware of the cruelty of the battle for the throne, but he admits that even he dreams of the throne along with everyone else. He knows he can't have what the others do, that it's forever lost since birth and that scares him, but he still is so strongly attached to everyone in the family. Yes, Mustafa has a special place in his heart, but he cares about the rest. A lot. He understands his mother, despite of not approving some of her actions and even chose her rather than Mustafa in one instance. His love for Mihrimah and Bayezid is pretty clear by their interactions. Even when he's seen scolding Selim more than anything, they have a very poignant moment that truly underscores how interesting their dynamic actually is. And Cihangir loves his father, leans on him. It was precisely the huge shock and disappointment of his father doing what he promised he never would that brought him to his heartbreaking end.

Cihangir had distinct enough characterization to leave place for nuanced dynamics and good scenarios for a condensed runtime. Only his side story for Huricihan didn't do him much justice (then again, I have issues in everything about Huricihan, but that's something else entirely.), although it showed his care for Bayezid, and I wish we saw even more of what I described, especially his dynamic with Selim. More happier moments would be nice and would flesh him out even more, with every prince being together and bringing something to a conversation, but it's S04 we're talking about... Little Cihangir is also such a cutie and a sweetheart and older Cihangir was a solid follow up. Overall, for a bit more than a half-season they did a good enough job, though again.. gimme more Cihi!!!

Mustafa is often viewed as a righteous hero stereotype, but this way his depth gets overlooked by some amount. He's definitely his trope and the writers love to play it straight as often as they don't so much, but he has a clear personality, motives and goals. I won't say much about older Mustafa, because I talked about him in depth and why I think his characterization is great here. I love the way his biggest strength is his biggest flaw and he has enough material for his character to be explored. The most unique thing about him is definitely his relationships and the moments where he snaps or is close to snapping, because they are a nice contrast to how he usually is. Mustafa is a character that keeps his principles until the end and writing-wise, this is fascinating as much as it can create repetitive scenarios at times. My single problem with him is precisely this: Mustafa's fatal flaw isn't something he eventually develops; it's something that's always been inside him since E01 and that results in constant, almost formulaic plots ending in scolding and confrontations with his father again and again until the next one happens, which gives off the impression that Mustafa, as a character, is stagnant and never learns from his mistakes. It's as if he does the same thing again and again, since the reason for him doing it remains the same. And it's like it must remain the same, it cannot disappear, because it has to be utilized thematically- it's what would ultimately lead him to his death. (that problem is present in Mehmet, too, but to a comparatively smaller extent, due to him being reduced to a background character.) Mustafa simply developed in other aspects, not in this one.

To be honest, Mustafa gets even more points because of his characterization when he was little. He indeed felt vibrant and alive, with so much personality and characterization right out of the starting gate. The way he missed his father's presence, since he couldn't see him as much as he once did in Manisa, the way he was sensitive to his mother's suffering to the point he told her he didn't want to make her cry ever again, the way he was willing to assert himself to get what he wanted, his childlike curiosity about the ongoing events, him playing with everyone.. He even had a bit of development: he didn't want a brother at first, but eventually he loved and took care for his brothers like no other and that was built on with grown! Mustafa. Older Mustafa in general felt like a natural progression to little Mustafa and together they create a good character.

Selim and Bayezid are intriguing to me. Their characterizations are as well handled as their conflict and we see why they do what they do. There's quite a lot to unpack in Selim's personality: he's the true outcast of the family, the one everyone immediately writes off when it comes to the battle of the throne. He's different than everyone else, he doesn't partake in their happier conversations and that upsets him, no matter how much he tries to hide it until he can't take it anymore. It doesn't seem like it at first glance, but he cares a lot about what people think of him and strives to make a good impression, even if he doesn't always succeed. His arc is about realizing and doing what it takes to win the game and we can see the way he accepts the reality he didn't want to grapple with. He has awesome dynamics with everyone, but especially Nurbanu, Bayezid, Hürrem and Mihrimah. I'd argue that he's the prince with the most development out of the five, since there actually is a condensed, yes, not 100% complete, yes, but linear change in personality. We can't talk about Selim's characterization without mentioning the narrative voice that supposedly presents him in a worse light that the others and that could make him look more shallow than he is, but I feel he had his fair share of sympathetic moments and his condition makes us root for him rather than decry him. His characterization goes along with his thematic purpose (presenting Süleiman's S04 view of loyalty), much like the other princes, but it's not in the level of existing just for the sake of that or as egregious to put him at a disadvantage. He is "shadier", compared to the rest (but the same goes for Bayezid for me, tbh), but that makes him more interesting and three-dimensional. It makes him more human in a way. He does actions the narrative never condones and he isn't presented as the best fit to the throne, but he has logical motives to go that far. He's shown to do what he's deridingly known for, yes, but that doesn't define him. A crime he didn't historically do is also added to his list and that may leave people with a bad impression of MC Selim and an attempt to vilify him further, but writing-wise? It was a fitting end of his arc. And his feelings over it are messy and conflicted long after the fact.

I see more and more aspects of Bayezid while rewatching the show and they aren't him being shown to be "good" and "right", because of "bad" Selim and because he sides with Mustafa. Bayezid is brave, ambitious, a good fighter and has similar virtues to Mustafa and Cihangir, while at the same time he holds understandable, but destructive anger he lets out that makes him impulsive, stubborn and irrational. A lot of this comes from him never being favored by his father and his conflict with Selim which is caused due to insensitivity, ignorance and the attempts of both of them to prove themselves to their parents. Bayezid seemingly had the support of those around him and he himself knows his own capabilities, but deep down inside he still isn't sure whether he's supported 100% even by his mother who turned to Selim for a while. Bayezid can be playful and considerate (shown mostly in his debut scenes), was merciful, yet constantly provocative. He, along with Mustafa, had the most varied interactions: he has a huge dedication for Mustafa, he has a truly brotherly dynamic with Cihangir, he knows Mihrimah is the only one who would fully stand behind him, even in the end. He, similarly to Cihangir, loves his mother a lot, but doesn't condone her actions. The same goes for Huricihan. He both knows where the line is, yet doesn't. His arc was about realizing that he can't act like Mustafa when he is at the verge of ending up like him, thus directly rebelling against Süleiman. Bayezid also changes throughout the narrative: he becomes more about survival the more we go and his flaw keeps getting more and more visible.

[Now, little Selim and little Bayezid are more about foreshadowing of their future conflict than anything else except for a few moments in between. Their older counterparts are big improvements and I think there truly is a lot to appreciate in them.]