#the list is done btw i need to read it through two more times to grammar check (not fact check i don't believe in that) and then i'll Post

[batsplat]

deeply compelled by this photo

[gnomewithalaptop]

do you have any really devastating hurt/comfort recs?

Hi!! Sorry this took me so long to do -- holiday season has me swamped

your ghost i will gladly bear by @mamawasatesttube - Comic book alternate universe logic leads to Tim and Kon reuniting after living through the other's deaths. UGH obsessed with this fic -- the implications of Elseworlds Kon taking on the Robin mantle after Tim's death vs Canon Tim changing his colors to reflect Kon's after Kon's have me seeing shrimp colors

Scandals Stick Together by @traya-sutton - With his mother dead, his father in a coma, and everybody convinced he's going to run his family company into the ground, Tim has to go to a Luthor gala. Unparalleled mental stress + public emotional breakdowns + no capes AU TimKon -- this one hits like nobody's business man

i'd give anything to hear you say it one more time by @popsunner - I've recced this series before, but this one fic (which works as a standalone btw) legitimately gets me every time. Cassie Sandsmark POV on dealing with Bart and Kon's sudden return from the dead. The only issue? It's been two days since she went to Tim's funeral, and nobody's told them he's dead yet. I read this fic whenever I need to cry for real -- Cassie gets put through the wringer in this series

A Long Fall with a Sudden Stop by @eggmacmuffin - Dick gets fear gassed. Tim has to deal with it. This not only has Tim comforting Dick through a fear gas incident (obvious H/C setup) but also it has a SUPER well-done and interesting take on fear gas that I haven't seen elsewhere

Oil and Watercolor by @dedicatedfollower467 - A Damian-centric platonic soulmate AU where you leave colors on each other's skin the first time you touch. SUCH a good relationship between Dick and Damian -- not technically tagged as H/C but I'm calling it that anyways because it gave me similar vibes

tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you about mine and its sequel you do not have to be good by @luvo27 are some of the most absolutely gut wrenching Cassandra Cain-centric fics I've read probably ever. Dealing with Cass's passive (and sometimes not-so-passive) suicidal thoughts pre and post Steph's death, these two fics focus heavily on her road to recovery, leaning on Steph, Tim, and Babs. Legitimately made me cry multiple times, and I actually held off on making this rec list until the author posted the last chapter so I could include it. Hands down two of my favorites of all time -- though heavy content warning on self harming behaviors and attempted suicide

If anyone wants to add on with your own recs below, or even if you just want to plug your own fics, I'm always on the prowl for new reading material! Just make sure to tag the authors if you know their tumblr username <3

[killerpillar]

any book recs? looking for something to hold me over inbetween your updates! anything you’ve found yourself pulling inspo from for your fic or that you think a fellow levi fan would love?

hi!!! ofc, i've got plently of fic recs, i'm pretty sure i've read 80% of all levi fics on ao3 atp😭 I sadly have not had the time to read as many fics nowadays like I used to, but here are some of my all time favs!!

(also i apologise, my summary skills are terrible and so it's just me gushing over the fics for a whole paragraph🧎‍♀️)

Death's Door by SongsOfApollo

one of the first fics I read, and a fic that has literally never left my brain since then. It's amazing. It's very popular so I'm sure you've heard about it already if not read it, but if you haven't, it's a must read!! levi x doctor reader!

Dust, Diamonds by maokitty

the best way i can describe this fic is that it drove an iron stake through my heart multiple times, pulled it out, then delicately rearranged the pieces and stitched it back together with gentle fingers. take it how you will but after a certain chapter i stopped reading it bc it was too painful, and then came back two months later to finish it off AND I AM SO GLAD I DID.

A River Of Three Crossings by maokitty

this fic literally ruined my life it was so fucking good but its incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2020 i am SO SAD. but please read this, it's so good, so heart crushing and sweet and amazing I love it sm

ALSO I JUST FUCKING REALISED ITS THE SAME AUTHOUR WHILE WRITING THIS LIST😭

reciprocal sin by captain-hawks (@captain-hawks)

SO UNDERRATED!??! must read, i cannot say anything else but READ THISSS. its a kinky smutty oneshot so make sure you read the content warnings, but its sooo good😭 amazing writing too!

silver soul by oi_levi

sadly this one is incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2021, but it's brilliantttt. if you're craving some good post-war levi fics, then this one's really good!!

also read In the Land of Gods and Monsters by them for a fun time😊

a sip of sunshine by taomyou (@taomyou)

speaking of post-war fics, this one is amazinggg. super cute and fluffy, angsty ending for part 1 (😭) but I know for sure their next part will be worth the wait. also they've got a complete modern au fic called The Romance Of Reimbursements which is so fucking beautiful, definitely read this!!! (also mchs, acoc... yeah just read all of them tbh)

silver underground. by tothestrongones (@amywritesthings)

this one's a recent read, but omfg i cannottt get enough of it. absolutely love this, it's levi x underground reader, amnesia trope done right. 10/10 must read!!!

we all bleed red by littlerequiem (@littlerequiem)

also a recent read, but omfg this fic is so good. it's vampire au, victorian era, slowburn brilliant writing, and healthy communication!?!? no way. checks all the boxes for me😫

Percolate by heichoe

modern coffee shop au, its so good omfg. it's such a cute fic, classic grumpy levi, friends w benefits, lots of smut and the DRAMA gosh. i was so invested, it was so good. (also ur gonna need an account on ao3 to read the fic!!)

this is a story of the sea by shinzouing

this one is levi x erwin x reader (i read it for the levi x reader bc erwin was gonna die anyways lmao) but i fell in loveeee with it!! wonderful writing, amazing story, 10/10 angst & slowburn, a definite must read! (also 20/10 smut, it was so fucking good)

(also literally every fic by wellitcouldbeworse3 on ao3 is amazinggg, check them out if you haven't already. which i'm sure you have, and that is the only reason i haven't listed out all of their fics here😭 The Feeling's Mutual is my fav modern au fic of all time no questions asked)

THIS IS A JUST A FEW!!! if you want more, then feel free to ask, i will gladly rec more <33 and ty for reading my fic btw!! LOVE U LOADS🤗

[custardpuddingprincess]

Study tips and popular techniques

Kekekekke i hope this helps, and remember studying takes time, it usually won’t make your grades improve drastically over time! btw i highlighted what worked best for me and what i think you really should try?!

To do lists: will help you remember and know what you need to do. Highlight important stuff, like tests and homework or assignments.

Time tables/schedulers: will help you remember when your homework is due, or when your test/quiz is on. if you can, mark at least a month (or two) or a week before a test to remember studying it!

Homework as soon as you get it: just try. i’ve been trying this, and it gave me lots more time to rest with a peaceful mind and study time. like do the homework due the fastest, then continue on with the homework you can slowly do. i swear on this!!!

Study environments: these will literally make or break your focus. For some people, working in a cafe, library or school environment works the best, while others prefer studying at home. Some prefer pastels or dark colours in their rooms, or a certain temperature or time to study at. This is really important.

Notetaking: y’all, if you guys are gonna make notes- make it neat and easy to understand. you don’t wanna rush through your notes 15min before an exam and get even more stressed! mind maps help as well. try using abbreviations or arrows or small timetables to take less time spelling the entire thing out

Feynman Technique: pretend you’re a teacher and explain it to yourself in the most simple way possible

Pomodoro technique: study for a certain time (usually done in 25-30min each sesh), and take a small break/rest (usually 5min) per session. after about 4 sessions, take a longer break of about 15 to 30min.

Leitner system: make your flash cards with questions and their answers. sort them into boxes/sections of what you know well/understand and what you got wrong/confused/don’t understand. revise the 2nd box (wrong box) more often! but i prefer doing this on normal notebook paper but yeah!

Mind maps: make a mind map, which can help you understand how one topic can link to another topic and help fill out the blanks. I personally like making mind maps on grid or plain paper!!!

Spaced repetition: review topics (especially those you struggle with) at spaced intervals of time. eg, topic a (which i struggle with) today, tomorrow and everyday, but topic b (which i’m good at) review maybe every other day!

Solve questions: don’t you dare say ‘i can just read my notes’! well, i wanna to! but solving questions and old exam worksheets can help predict what sort of questions or topics typically come out. i think this is most helpful with subjects like science, math and history, compared to languages.

Try revising when you have free time: this can just be reading through your notes or questions & the answers to it maybe while your on the bus/car/subway or when you’re maybe baking or cooking something and you have some spare time!

This is just what has helped me, i hope this helps!… (*´꒳`*)

BTW HAVE BREAKS AND STAY HYDRATED AND SLEEP WELL- :3

[at-thezenith]

acquiring a manuscript - the agent and editor

hello, it's me, your favourite publishing student. let's talk acquisition.

so you've managed to secure an agent with your manuscript. then what?

most agents will do a developmental edit on first deciding to work with you. plot, character, pace, continuity and worldbuilding all come under this. what makes a good agent (and editor) is whether they are offering you suggestions on what to do instead of outright rewriting your work.

once you've made those changes (or gone back and forth depending on how much you do or don't want to make that change), your agent will send your manuscript to editors in publishing houses.

a key question on their mind is: can i sell this book? agents (and editors, but i'm getting to that) look at a book's merit, and they look at what they can compare it to. you need some sort of USP (unique selling point)

is it pride and prejudice but trans? most ardently by gabe cole novoa. is it black mirror in south east asia? red dust , white snow by pan huiting. (highly rec both, btw)

key note here - if you are submitting to a publishing house that accepts unsolicited manuscripts, you will skip straight to this next step.

your manuscript will land on an editor's desk, along with the pitch your agent has given them, usually tailored to that editor's or that house's tastes. in a big house, that editor will usually pass that manuscript to an assistant, to do a reader's report, in which the assistant will sum up the plot, point out strengths and weaknesses, and most importantly, tell them whether it is worth publishing. some manuscripts don't make it past this step, and in that case, the agent will send it to another house.

if the editor likes the sound of this manuscript, they will then read it. usually, they will read it three times: one for first glance edits, two for developmental edits, and three for line edits (line by line, spelling/grammar, vocabulary, etc). once this is done, they will tell the agent that they plan to put their house in the running for acquisition. then comes the acquisition meeting.

the acquisition meeting is where your editor will fight to get the publishing house on board with your book. remember that USP? here's where that comes into play. your editor needs, above all else, to get sales and marketing on board. how can i sell this book? editors often ask other members of the meeting to read the book beforehand to have some support, and to point to the book's readability.

the literary qualities of the book certainly come into play, but what sales and marketing want to hear is how your book is both familiar and new. so your editor will construct a pitch that both highlights the excitement of your book, but also point to previous successes with books like yours. i know that comparing books to other books is tedious, but sales are notoriously pessimistic. they control the money, after all.

but your book makes it through the meeting, and you have the whole team on board. now comes the editorial letter. this is where the editor is going to do their best to sweet talk you (and your agent) into accepting their offer of publishing your book. however, they will both gush about your work, and tell you the edits they want you to make to it, from the big developmental changes all the way down to the way a character moves in a scene. don't be discouraged if the list of changes is long; if the editor didn't want to publish the book, it wouldn't have made it past their assistant.

this of course is assuming you decide to accept their offer immediately. you could have offers from other houses, and in that case you usually won't receive the editorial letter - or at least, not in such great depth - until you have signed a contract with the house of your choice. that is more complicated.

hope you found this useful! my dms are open if anyone has any questions :)

[newtabfics]

IDK if you've done this but can you do a fluffy Ganondorf x f!reader where the reader is sick? Thank you ^-^

TOTALLY ADDING THIS TO MY REDEEMED GANONDORF SERIES which btw will have a master list up at some point. I've got them marked in my own document but like...i haven't organized it yet and I have an order in my head so far.

"Let me help her," he said simply. Upon the exchanged looks between the princess, hero, and village leader, he added, "She and I are close and she'll be more responsive to my presence."

"I don't know," Paya sighed. "You two are often around each other but..."

"Let him," The hero stated, grabbing the room's attention. With a shrug he said, "Her system is likely out of sorts after teleporting between here and the desert and back. She did collapse from the heat and he helped her. We can trust him when she's involved."

"No denying that," Zelda nodded before looking to Paya. The leader needed to make this decision.

After a long moment of weighing this, she too nodded. "Alright, but there'll be a guard at the doorway and you're not to leave until she is in good health."

"Understood. That in mind, Link," He said, turning to him. The swordsman glanced at him, body tense as he listened. "Would you mind getting some things once we've assessed her symptoms?"

That was how the former Gerudo King found himself in Y/N's home, forcing her to sit in the bed.

"It's just a cold, Ganny," Her voice croaked out, throat raw from coughing. "I just need to finish my research."

"It'll be there when you've healed up," He said before grabbing the book she'd been attached to. "You can still read in bed."

She sighed and nodded, smiling softly before letting out a startled yelp when the door slammed open, revealing the swordsman with an armful of filled baskets.

"Link," she asked, making him smile in greeting before he set it down. "What--What's all this?"

"Ingredients," He answered before looking to the large Gerudo. "Ready?"

Y/N blinked as she watched Link teach the man how to cook a stew that was rather popular for colds among Hylians. A little spicy pepper, some chicken, Hyrule Herbs, and rock salt mixed with carrots and Hylian Mushrooms.

More improtantly, something about the man's hulking frame in her small home was amusing, as well as heartwarming when he finally offered the stew to her.

Ganondorf's chest swelled with pride as she drained a second bowl. "You eat too," Link said as he headed for the door. "Don't let anything go to waste."

At the man's blink, Y/N chuckled quietly. "he's a big food guy. He gets upset if food has to be wasted," She said slowly.

He pursed his lips and nodded. "Understandable," he muttered as he turned to pour a cup of water. As he turned, he said, "Y/N, drink up. Hydration is good af–"

Ganondorf stopped, seeing Y/N rubbing her eye tiredly. He took the bowl as he set the glass down. "You need sleep."

"But–" She only surrendered when a hefty yawn broke through her defenses.

The man paused for a moment before holding up the book. "I could read this to you."

She stared at him a long moment before nodding with a smile. She listened to him happily as he read over the research text on Zonai devices. Everything from constructs to devices to charges to Zonaite! All of it felt like a soothing spell with his voice melded in. His deep voice rumbled lowly as he read over it, squinting a few times at words that she helped him pronounce.

"In my defense, this is in your Hylian," he had said after struggling through another word before a soft snore snapped him out. Looking over, she was out cold, scooted closer to the edge of the bed to be nearer to him. He bit back his quip about how the text would put anyone to sleep as he closed the book quietly.

Carefully, he fixed the blanket over her shoulder, blinking when she cuddled into a sand seal plush she'd gotten for herself at the racing event. Her peaceful expression made his chest warm as a familiar tug of desire coursed through him. His jaw clenched at the thought.

The thought of her looking up at him with a smile. The thought of her coming to him for anything, even little things. The thought of her leaning into his touch and–

He silenced the thoughts. His penance in serving Hyrule didn't allow for the thought or even the humor of romance.

Instead, he sat in the chair by her bed, only allowing himself the pleasure of her soft snores and peacefully sleeping face.

[lexyvey]

Stranger Things Fic Recommendations

These last few months I've been reading a LOT of ST fan fiction and just wanted to spread word on some of my all-time favorite fics. Most are primarily steddie, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for those two lol.

Completed Fics:

without a flashlight in the dark by jurassicqueer (kukurosaki)

Takes place in s1 where Steve gets dragged into the Upside Down instead of Barb. By far one of my favorites. 10/10 recommend. It's a completed work with a little over 8,000 words and I wish I could read it for the first time again and again. Beautiful!

flight risk by Ayes, itskleo

This is probably one of the most popular ones on my list, but if you haven't read it yet, please, please, please check it out! The writing is phenomenal and these guys really know how to write a story (also the art that accompanies each chapter is just too freaking good). I've also been reading However Wild by them and it's really good as well but I digress. Steve is famous rockstar Eddie Munson's bodyguard and no matter how hard Eddie tries to shake Steve, he just can't. Then he figures out he doesn't really want to shake him off anymore... and need I say more? Go read it!

Black Out Days (Fairground Nights) by OonionChiver

Oooh the angst in this fic just doesn't stop. I absolutely love it. It's a completed work and a total binge read, though with almost 140,000 words there's no way you can get through it quick enough. It also kind of f'ed me up emotionally and I'm so glad it did. The fic is pretty much steddie to the max and I absolutely loved it. I feel like it's impossible to not want to reread it after finishing btw, so you've been warned in advance lol.

paradise by the dashboard light. by oaseas

another completed steddie fic at 154,000 words. Steve's car constantly needs fixed due to the Upside Down stuff and Eddie is the one always having to fix it up. Steve's nail bat is an "art project" and that just cracks me up. This fic is a beautiful slow burn with lots of pining. I'm in love.

smoke signal by Adure

Adure is possibly one of the strongest authors I've ever come across on ao3. This one shot was just phenomenal to read. I loved reading outlaw Eddie in this. It was just so well done. aaaahhh, just thank you so much to Adure for this one. I'm forever indebted to you.

New York Hardcore by CaptainHoney

Probably the best Punk Steve fic there is, or at least in my opinion. It's just a 7,418 word one-shot, but that's all you need because it's such a satisfyingly whole read. however... if you do want more (and you will) then you're in luck because it's part of a series including an Eddie POV as well as a sequel one shot.

WIP:

Jackrabbit Underneath by Grey_Lark

Probably one of my favorite Steve has powers fics. He has empathic powers, but doesn't know it, and that's just funny to me. This one is definitely not steddie and romance is not what the goal of this fic is, but the interactions with Tommy and Carol truly make it chef's kiss. It's incompleted but has over 210,000 words of content to tide you over until the next update. It's probably one of the most beautifully written fics I've ever come across.

Our Love to Admire by hibud

UGGGHHH, I'm literally dying to read more it's so good. Another Steddie fic that takes place after s4. It's one of my favorite tropes: enemies to lovers, but the author provides background as to why they don't get along and I just love it! It's also incomplete, but updates regularly. There's already over 200,000 words of poetic writing to satisfy you until the next update.

If I Ever Leave (You're Coming With Me) by roughvoiced, Sharpbutsoft (BuckysButt)

It's giving The Outsiders kinda vibes and I honestly wish there were more fics like this. I'm also a sucker for blonde Steve, though I had no idea until reading this. Eddie is still wanted for murder, but Steve manages to make them both disappear together on a road trip before Eddie gets arrested. Currently it's only 3 chapters in with 37,599 words, but so much has already happened and I just love it.

better by you, better than me by palmviolet

Eek! Another Steddie fic where Eddie is involved in all the Upside Down stuff since s1. Currently in the middle of s2 with 110,000 words in. The character development in this story is just top-notch. I swear this couldn't have been done any better. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Just Close Your Eyes ( the sun is going down ) by httphimbo

A hunger games au fanfic with steddie. I don't even know how I managed to come across this, but I'm so glad I did. I just remember going, hey that's a TS lyric so it's gotta be good, and then immediately getting hooked by the storyline. Every chapter leaves me on the edge of my seat. I'm so gone for this one guys. It's a WIP, but there's already over 25,000 words and it's a little over half-way in.

Please feel free to lmk any other fic recommendations through reblogs, comments, etc. I eat these fics up like breakfast and am always open to new suggestions. Might even update the list as I find new gems to add to the list :)

[gerudospiriit]

[Alright, I officially finished A Link to the Past so I can officially have an opinion now. Under the cut because it might get long (not that anyone will probably read this but I need to SHARE).

SO. To start this off, I really cannot grasp how people like what's his nuts from GG can say that this game is better than Ocarina of Time or really any game that follows it. However, this isn't about comparing the two games like a cranky, bitter baby. and all I'll say to such comparisons is they DEFINITELY improved on a lot over the years as any game franchise should. So, yeah, my bias aside, I would never say this game was better than OoT, and I don't think anyone actually being honest about it can either.

That said, the game was okay. I like getting some lore I'm less familiar with for what that's worth. The game was fun at time but, honestly, it overall felt more like a chore than a fun game to play. Starting with the story, which I get wasn't meant to be the focus, it's pretty standard: Ganon is trying to do mayhem and you have to do x, y, and z to stop him. There's really just...no meat to it. There's nothing really that makes me feel connected to the characters or what I'm trying to do as the gameplay feels too far removed from the plot, and there is nothing that you do that feels really impactful. The stakes don't feel like they're there.

I also didn't get how people praise this game and a few others a lot because you can do the dungeons in any order. Like...it wasn't all of them, it seemed to me? Like there were definitely times where I had to do one temple and get the item there before I could do another. There's definitely more freedom in that realm than other games, but I don't see how it makes the game better or worse.

My biggest gripes were with the mechanics/gameplay. I'll just list some of them and try to be brief about describing why they're gripes.

The item mechanics. On it's face, it's not the worst, but in practice it was annoying. Only having access to one item aside, it always felt clunky and obnoxious to set items and use them. I really think they could have optimized this and the menu system better in general to help that.

Maybe this was my dumbass, but the hitboxes felt...off a lot of times. Like I would watch my sword hit something very obviously but it wouldn't actually hit. Like I said, maybe this was user error, but I'm not really sure and it annoyed me.

BALANCING. I don't mind games being difficult or unforgiving. But holy shit there was literally no balancing of health regeneration. And I'll take partial blame on this: I could have done more to get all the bottles so I could carry more potions and maybe a net(?) to catch fairies(?), but holy shit. At least let people regen A LITTLE before reaching a boss fight. Like yeah, most of the boss fights were surprisingly easy, but when you have to run through the WHOLE TEMPLE AGAIN because you lost, it really sucks because, chances are, you're going to lose that health you got from your revival (which isn't much) and be back at square one when you reach the boss again. And that's not discussing how it feels like the enemies do WAY too much damage, which is especially shitty when you reach rooms where you literally cannot avoid taking said damage (I like to think I'm at least decent enough at the game, btw; not the best by any means but decent). I was at least a big cheater and abused the rewind function on the Switch emulator but holy shit. If I played properly, I'm not sure I would have made it to the end.

And my biggest gripe was easily how you could literally finish at least one whole dungeon, get to the boss, and realize you didn't have the weapon you needed to win. That's what happened to me. And don't get me wrong. I don't mind the finding items that will help you outside of dungeons just fine. But what isn't fair is that there is no indication that you needed the ice rod to beat the boss in Turtle Rock dungeon. You don't need it at all to progress through the temple, and there is nothing leading you there. This might be the only time this really happens (or maybe I just got lucky), but it's poor game design, full stop. It's unfair to the player imo to do that. Again. I don't mind that it had to be found outside of the dungeons. But if it is a NECESSARY ITEM there should be some story beat or something that leads you toward said item. I shouldn't be able to run through a whole temple, get to the boss, and realize I'm missing something.

I probably had more specific gripes, but these were the big ones. And I get some of this was probably on me; I'm not saying the game is absolute horse shit and terrible. But it really hasn't aged well. I like a hard game, but in places, this game felt unfair. I'm sure this is an improvement on the previous games (I only vaguely remember trying Zelda 1 and 2 and failing miserably as a kid), but, objectively, I don't see how anyone could say this is the best game in the franchise. To me, it's just dishonest because the following games have improved IMMENSELY on this one.]

[woodswolf]

Me before attempting to write Olimar again, one year ago: "Okay, this'll be interesting. Writing a character who isn't severely fucked up on two or five levels (but will be by the time I'm done with him). This will be nice a little experiment for myself."

Me now, having catapulted down the character study rabbit hole as I tend to: "Oh dear god, wait a minute: this guy is as deeply fucked up on the level of whom I usually write for! And I don't think that was my fault for once! I've been deceived! What the fuck?!"

(TL;DR: Your tags and ramblings made me Think, thank you. I'm certain you are having a blast tearing him to shreds in some terrible way I've yet to think of myself lol.)

(RE: all of this shit probably)

i have only really truly known this guy for a bit over a year and every little bit ive learned about him has only pushed me ever deeper into this endless well of fascination with whatever the fuck is wrong with him. this guy is a pathological liar as a method of self-soothing. who DOES that. how the fuck did he arrive in this scenario.

really when you get down to it olimar is like, perhaps one of the most depressed characters of all time, it's just that he's carefully crafted a presentation of symptoms that very cleverly hides this from both the audience and himself. this guy is literally miserable. he viscerally hates his boss and is frustrated with his coworkers where they're even relevant. he has somewhere in the range of mixed feelings on his job but generally wishes that it allowed him more time with his family. his family, which has so many undeniable problems it's difficult to even list them. where to start: his kids? his wife? his parents? every happy memory he has involves his family and most of those memories are brief glimpses at Connection that otherwise seems so absent from the rest of his life. he's a middle-aged man with a house and a yard and a wife and two-kids-and-a-dog and probably a white picket fence for good measure. he's ticking all the boxes that he was raised* to think were a one-way ticket to happiness. so why is he still so lonely? why isn't he happy? what is this general malaise that's hanging over his entire life? what's wrong with him?

(*whether or not he was actually raised on a variant of the american dream is a really interesting question but honestly not relevant here. there's a lot of interesting evidence in his logs supporting something more nuanced, but again. irrelevant)

and olimar's answer is that Actually! there's Nothing wrong! he's perfectly fine and perfectly happy and perfectly satisfied with everything in his life. nothing is wrong and he's perfectly happy and even if he weren't (which he is!!!!) he still has so many things that would make up for it. he has so many good memories that are just his that he can hold on to as hard as he possibly can for as long as he needs to until he feels better. he can write them down and read them back as a reminder until it sticks in his brain that He Is Happy. There Is Nothing Wrong. He Is Happy And There Is Nothing Wrong. because he did everything right, didn't he!! he made his choices and for the all the love of everything he holds dear he is going to stick by them. because he needs to. because if he doesn't, where would he even be?

and then this guy has the worst "vacation" of his entire life (DEFINITELY another blatant self-soothing lie btw, you CANNOT convince me that this guy would spend any more time away from his family than he absolutely has to what with his career) and the cracks actually kind of start to show. because he is very quickly launched into the worst series of circumstances he's ever experienced. and through it all he's just!! completely fucking Normal about it!! utterly fucking accepting of any outcome that happens to him because he doesn't feel like he really has any control. like he ever had any control. he should have fucking died. even before the thirty days are up he's just passively accepting of whatever happens. there are tons and tons of treasure descriptions or other entries where he expresses very explicit passive suicidality through things that could be jokes or offhand comments but really don't read like that. pikmin 1's entry for day 29 reads more like a reminder that he should at least try to not let himself die than an earnest attempt to actually do so.

and it's like, if he does survive pikmin 1, what does he even win? ever-increasing stakes at his job and ever-fewer ways to pretend that everything's fine. an ever-brighter flashing neon sign reading QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB that he has to try increasingly hard to ignore. the job that keeps sending him back to the planet that almost killed him. the job that keeps sending him back to the planet where he barely survived by only his wits and the skin of his teeth. the job that keeps sending him back to the planet where he will die, because no one was supposed to save olimar.

and through it all you can see! you can SEE the way he gets increasingly stressed out as things go along. but he's still just going along trying his damnedest to pretend that everything is fine and he is happy and he doesn't need any help, that he shouldn't be trying to make an exit as quickly as he can and to maybe ask his wife to pick up a job so they can be a dual-income household now that their kids are a bit older. he doesn't need to be looking for anything better because he has the best he's going to get right here, and isn't that wonderful? shouldn't that make him happy?

and it's like, the way things are going he's never going to get there, and on some level he knows that. but olimar's whole fucking deal is that if he can't solve something he's going to throw himself at the problem over and over until either it gets solved or his skull splits open, a pattern that is only reenforced by the events of pikmin 1 and 2 and 3. so he knows that he's never going to be happy, but he's going to try this impossible task of being happy over and over until he either fakes it till he makes it or something kills him. so far it hasn't worked out for him, but maybe the NEXT time he blows up at somebody for no reason because he just can't take the stress of it all anymore!

as it turns out i have no idea how to end this, so on a tangentially related note: olimar is not a biologist by any standard and i will die on this hill. ALL of his piklopedia entries are creative writing exercises and i can ALMOST prove this. but that's a whole other post honestly. just kind of adds to the whole thing about how much olimar lies to the reader and himself.

[faejilly]

jilly's week in review?

I guess or something. Idek y'all, I was gonna try and do reviews but then I just rambled about what I did instead, so this is clearly gonna need a format revamp next week

anyway

READING

Finished Daughter of Witches

and also St. Peter's Fair, which I had started AGES ago and sort of lost track of, but I'm doing the January Challenge on TheStoryGraph and couldn't decide what to read next but needed to get my pages in, so I went digging for random shit and I have read it before and watched all the Cadfael mysteries so it's not like it was hard to get into to finish it so I could save my streak.😅

Read A House with Good Bones (on purpose from start to finish in one day!) because T. Kingfisher/Ursula Vernon is absofuckinglutely one of my favorites. (There's a thought here about my occasional forays into the horror genre, and how some horror is almost kind of cozy because it's about protecting what we love from what we fear, and that is very much a Kingfisher kind of thing, but that might need a new post and a more functional brain to figure out where I'm going with that.)

Listened to a little bit more of IT while doing housework; I'm not great at audio books except when I'm driving, but sometimes I can manage a little (and I didn't want to distract myself from dishes by picking up a new book instead). Stephen Weber is an excellent narrator btw, for anyone who's curious.

WATCHING

The husband was sick last week, and I was only sort of doing shit either, so he kind of just put the TV on and let it go and I definitely will not manage a nice list with links like I did with books. There was some M*A*S*H, (oh, I did finally watch the special that recently came out on Hulu), and RoboCop (largely because Thing 1 gave the husband the new game for Christmas) and several different Predator movies of various quality, and a bunch of other stuff I am not thinking of at the moment. I know I picked a couple and watched them myself but with everything else I can't remember what?

Also some Mythbusters when Thing 2 picked something to watch for awhile, which is pretty much always entertaining even when we're like: your sample size is nonexistent and just because you can't do it doesn't mean someone who knows what they're doing couldn't have done it so are you SURE you should have busted that? 😅

PLAYING

I got Garden Story for Christmas and got through the quest-lines and realized I was quite far away from all the upgrades, so I've been periodically poking at it and trying to get my villages/tools better before trying the Final Boss. I have had a good time with Concord though, it's fun, I'm just not sure the leveling functions, such as they are, are paced/balanced quite right? 😅 (Or perhaps I'm just Bad At Fighting In Cozy Games? This does seem to be a bit of a trend tbqh, probably why I liked Wylde Flowers' lack of combat so much.) I also have found VERY FEW of the memories/weird achievements so that's a thing I'm probably going to have to look up hints for soon-ish...

(I did finish Potion Permit last year, which is great, I recommend it whole-heartedly: the potion building mechanic is usually pretty solid, it has good characters, a nice aesthetic, I did actually mostly have fun rolling around and fighting things/gathering stuff, but I did reach the end of the main quest and then go... huh, is that it? just because it, yk, kept going after the finale but there didn't seem to be anything there beyond like, a couple personal quests that needed materials I couldn't unlock until the end.)

MORE ENTERTAININGLY I THINK, we did also play some board games

Paint The Roses is QUITE HARD with only two people even if you stick to the medium level whims; or maybe I'm just not that smart?!? We did in fact survive without getting our heads' chopped off by the Queen of Hearts, but we legit guessed the last two puzzles so. Dumb Luck™️ is not nearly as reliable as actually figuring out how to plot your plants better.

We did Escape the Dark Sector (with more people this time, tbf) on our first try though! That was pretty delightful. It is atmospheric and potentially almost deadly without feeling too awful at any point! Also I got to punch a tentacle monster!

Mice & Mystics can go dramatically bad if your dice aren't on your side and you do like, one stupid thing to compound that, and then if you're invested enough to start over you can suddenly realize you've been moving tiny plastic mice and bugs around the table for like four hours and still only got through the first chapter... but not regret it at all because you like your mice and are very proud of them for finally making it!

Can you tell we like co-op games? 🤣🤣🤣

(I did also do some rearranging so the game room was comfier, so like, win/win I adulted and played!)

THERE WAS NO WRITING OR CROSS-STITCHING OR PAINTING OR ANYTHING ELSE THIS WEEK, so uh. Clearly my balance of activities is bonkers and I should maybe get off the couch/game chair(s) a bit more often.

[safarigirlsp]

Thank you for sharing my ask list!! We need to have a good old fashioned tumblr sleepover one of these nights lol! I’d love to know your answers to Qs # 11, 15, 18 & 21 !!

Merry Christmas! I hope you and Tori are having a wonderful holiday!

I love your Writer Ask List! I'm going to link it in my masterlist if I can ever get the stupid thing it edit and work. I hit my link and pic limit on it last year sometime, but I'm too lazy to create a new one. But if I hit edit over and over enough, it forces the changes through somehow, so I've been managing xD.

11. What is one fic you want to re-read for the x time in 2024?

I love these fics as much as any novel!

Fathoms Below

Beautiful Beloved

Flip NSFW Alphabet

And then Silky's incredible Assassin Mills, Underworld Kylo, Practical Magic Flip, The Bear and the Maiden Fair, and Ubi Amor Ubi Dolor.

I have a couple books by my favorite published author I want to reread this year too.

15. Which of your fics you would recommend to a new reader that discovers you in 2024?

I can never pick any one of anything, so I hope you enjoy spam!

Flip:

Bah Humbug

The Case of the Colorado Cannibal

Ghost Town

Everything A Big Bad Wolf Could Want

Mills:

Maneater

Jacques:

A Lady Worth Fighting For

Here There Be Monsters

Witchcraft on Your Lips

Wargrave Hall (This one will be finished soon! But it has all the bs I like!)

Kylo:

Kylo the Malevolent

Crossover with ALL the guys!

Bah Humbug

18. Would you consider writing an original work in 2024?

Definitely! I have two 'novels' that are ready to be proofed, edited, and pitched. One is adventure, one is horror. Both with romance too. I have a few more ideas for novels I want to write too. The problem is always choosing which one to write first!

I have a supernatural story with some occult stuff and the Devil; a wintery adventure story; an action hitman story; a joint modern adventure/old west suspense story; a comedy FBI story; and a suspense murdery mountaineering story.

21. What character do you think you'll leave behind in the new year?

As of now, I'm only writing for Jacques, Flip, Mills, and Kylo. I don't think I'll officially leave anyone behind, but Kylo interests me the least these days. I've never been into space Kylo and I've only written AU's for him. I'm not closing off the possibility for more Kylo AU's in the future, but these days when I think of AU's, I want to write them with Jacques. And I need to write more with Mills too.

Btw We need to get our asses back in gear and get some serious writing done in 2024!

[transgendertips]

Hi, I don't know if you're able to help me but I have top surgery in 2 months and I've heard that you should exercise before the surgery. I haven't really exercised because of my dysphoria and depression, and I'm now feeling very anxious about it... I'm scared my results will look bad because of not exercising and building muscle before the surgery. I am fairly healthy and thin but I definitely don't have much muscles - which doesn't really bother me. I'm just scared I have ruined my top surgery :(

So for exercise tips I’m prob not the best person to go to BUT—

Let’s look at a few things about this:

Post op, the things I have heard from MANY people is that it is incredibly important to do small stretches and massage the areas you’ve been operated on + the surrounding area in order to keep up/rebuild your range of movement. So it looks like some of the most important things are to rebuild range of movement in the arms/shoulders and to prevent muscular atrophy in the chest/shoulders/arms.

Pre op, depending on type of top surgery prep is going to look different, but since you mention muscles I’m going to assume it’s within the mastectomy category which can be varied in a lot of ways. Your insurance may require you to be on HRT for 18+ months without a single missed dose, your dr may or may not recommend HRT or exercise, and many drs have had many patients who didn’t have exceptional chest muscles, so you’re more than likely going to be FINE. More than fine. However many drs have said having SOME build up of muscle makes it EASIER for them to reconstruct the area in the later stages of surgery and many people who get mastectomies will say it’s easier to hide certain scars (if that’s what you wish to do) if there’s a build up of some muscle.

I also try doing the exercise thing and between time, fatigue, disability, it’s a pain in the ass, let me tell you.

Maybe the best thing is for you to combine something easy and simple with something else. For example, if you watch a lot of TV, you can add some simple stretches to that to increase mobility and to set a routine for yourself. I think the absolute hardest thing about exercise is the routine part.

You have most definitely not ruined your chances of top surgery, so try not to think too much about that.

I’m going to drop some links, as a disclaimer I haven’t gone through all of them but here they are:

TikTok Tony is a Top Surgery Dr he’s great:

This one is just about a book btw

And when I tried finding something about exercising with depression this was the only thing that fit what I was looking for

If top surgery is something you want/need, you’ve prob already done some research on it, so I say def go back to that as well and look to see what others have done. There’s plethora of guides and testimonials nowadays. Try not to be so hard on yourself too.

EDIT: totally missed the part where you said you had top surgery in two months 😭 omg that’s so great 😭 congrats!!!!🎈🍾🎉🎊 if your team has resources for therapy to deal with the stress of surgery etc I do recommend checking that out though. Follow your surgeons directions, do your stretches and massages, and do your best to take care of yourself and get plenty of rest 💕

[stargirlfeyre]

“I love Feyre, but she feels very Mary Sue. From what I've read of ToG so far, Aelin also feels this way. I like the way she did Nesta and Bryce better... dunno if it's author growth or what, but they seem to be a bit more complex and have actual flaws.”

Shit like this makes me think this fandom is full of idiots who lack reading comprehension 🥴 Someone make a list of things Feyre has gone through and accomplished ASAP. Bc it’s obviously needed. The infamous take of Bryce or Nesta being better written than Feyre or Aelin will always sound so so stupid. Nesta and Bryce haven’t been through SHIT compared to Aelin and Feyre, nor have they accomplished as much as the two of them have. No hate to Bryce btw! She’s sweet and shoots guns with star power. But let’s all be Fr. Bryce’s one liners have to same tone as Nesta’s one liners, SJM acting like they’re big and bad when they haven’t done much of anything. Mary sues? Bryce has done barely anything yet is now referred to as a Queen by SJM in only her second book and Nesta barely did shit in Acosf or the other books and is supposed to be the better character or queen type? Embrassing ass fandom…

One minute it’s “Feyre doesn’t have any flaws” the next it’s tearing her apart for the littlest instances of “meanness” on her part. Feyre isn’t a Mary Sue she’s just a decent person😭. I’m tired of people thinking any female character who isn’t mean isn’t complex.

Can’t speak for Bryce because I’m not done with her book yet but trying to compare Nesta and Feyre is just ridiculousness. Feyre gets off her ass and saves people all the time while Nesta only gets off her ass if Feyre can’t. And in my opinion Nesta had way more “Mary Sue” moments on her book than Feyre did but people just ignored it because she’s always angry and to them that means complexity.

[spaceless-vacuum]

Hi my friend sent me the request you did for dark link daughter redwr and even tho I am a

Nerdy huge fan of Zelda. Some of the kinks I don't know about

Can you do a list of all the links and where they are from if you can.

Btw love your work after test tomorrow or today since it 12:58 and I Just got done doing late studding. I am going to bed but after The test and much need sleep I am so request some stuff from you. Have a wonderful day

So I got into the idea of different links from @linkeduniverse but there's also @linked-maze and some other au's that separate the boys into different people. Those two comics are amazing and I recommend checking them out.

I write my versions kinda of loose and I mostly base them off of what I know from the games.

Sky is the one from Skyloft and Skyward sword. He is the sword master who forged the master sword into what it is and is the best sword fighter amongst the group. He is quieter than the others and tends to enjoy listening to then rather than talking. He loves watching his decendants but feels bad about Ganon because he was the one who sealed Demise and got the curse placed on him.

Four is the hero of the four sword (some also put the hero from minish cap as being the same hero just them when he was younger). Their personality has been split into four and who you're reading from depends on if they're one person or more I tend to play both sides of the line but I think of them more as one and a half people. Like they can see themselves as separate but often don't.

Time is the hero of time. Raised by the deku tree surrounded by Koriki he was the hero who split the timeline into three. The oldest, but not that old, and done with this nonsense he makes friends with Fierce diety through a mask and takes on the leader role of the group.

Twilight is the rancher who met Midna and saw her break the mirror. He's the wolf who Wild met in his era as well and they are sort of like brothers at this point.

Wind is from wind waker and phantom hour glass. He sailed the seas with Tetra who turned out to be Zelda. This kid is a pirate who is the honorary kid of the group.

Legend is the hero of legend from a link between worlds and more. He killed Ganon twice and woke up a sleeping whale god at the expense of never seeing his girlfriend again.

Hyrule is from the original legend of Zelda and a link to the past.

Warrior is from Hyrule warriors, and he's the certified soilder and pretty boy.

Wild is from botw and now totk.

Others I write for:

Calamity is from hyrule warriors age of calamity and in this game the calamity was prevented via time nonsense and a bot named Terreko.

Koridai if from the old cdi games, the ones no one talks about for some reason.

Courage is from the tv show, the one who says "well excuse me princess!"

[20elements]

Zodiac Fighting Inclinations

(The photo above has little to do with the topic below; it's just there for decoration, really.) The following is a generalization of how a lot of fictional characters per sign tend to fight and what they may have in common. And just like the zodiac traits themselves, some can overlap, exceptions are possible, and these should all be taken with a grain of salt.

I only base this on my own limited exposures to anime and video games (e.g. Naruto, Bleach, MHA, TWST, to name a few) but for the sake of length, I won't be listing any specific examples.

Aries - Observation

Whether they're more brain or brawn, Aries are likely to keep an attentive eye on everything around them, especially reading enemy movements, before adapting the right approach. They'll keep their options open and flexible to real-time changes.

Taurus - Suppression

The bulls will do whatever they can to limit their enemies' options, whether it's their breathing room, tools, or skills (i.e. debuffs). Sometimes Taurus will even force their opponents to be in a specific corner for them to target. They can achieve this with either their own strengths or strategic planning.

Gemini - Misdirection

The twin-faces often like to add subtle secondary purposes to their movements. It's easiest to imagine fakeouts and diversions, but even techniques that are obviously substantial will likely still have another goal (i.e. two birds one stone).

Cancer - Surprise

Intentionally or not, the crabs tend to catch their opponents off guard one way or another. Some Cancers will lay traps, some will hide their claws, some will simply ambush their enemies, and others are resourceful and spontaneous enough to yield astonishing results with so little.

Leo - Optimization

Leos have a utilitarian mindset. As long as a method gets the job done, the lion will use it (their own strength, intimidation, or even other people). At the same time, they prefer not to put more weight than they need. Convenient one-shots or simple deceptions would be ideal for them.

Virgo - Configuration

Some are particular about the designs or positioning of their methods; some try to tweak others to their preferences. How detailed their techniques or tools depends on the individual Virgo, but either way they try to have some structure that works for them.

Libra - Control

True to the scales, Libras want to have a steady hand over their finest abilities so that they can achieve all their objectives while also factoring several challenges (individually or externally). Their mindset makes even the most lonesome Libras ideal partners for co-op.

Scorpio - Layers

Tenacious as they are, scorpions like to conceal many hidden aces up their sleeve. Secret weapons or techniques are intuitive, but Scorpios are also the type to possess multiple phases (if not transformations) to stay in a battle. And don't be surprised if they make use of even previous scars in some way.

Sagittarius - Exploration

The adventurous archers like to approach their battles with trial and error, learning about their opponents through experience. But once they exploit a weakness or opening, they'll likely stick to targeting it until they find the need to make changes or "reinvestigate".

Capricorn - Solidarity

If a Capricorn has multiple different assets, they'll want to try and combine them into a singular technique or pattern. Alternatively, if they only have one style to begin with, they'll work on adapting it to fitting all sizes. Either way, they like to find all their solutions in one basket to fall back on. And as soon as they're introduced to a new problem, they'll first consider if they can integrate any new solutions to their pre-existing belt. (I'm a Cap myself btw.)

Aquarius - Environment

Many water bearers have great spatial awareness and like to take full advantage of their surroundings, if not occupy them in some way. Wherever there is still room to maneuver, they have options for evasion, deceptive ranged attacks, or placing traps.

Pisces - Equipment

The fish like to keep their assets as close to them as possible; if they could feasibly "wear" their powers like an armor, they would. What they keep in their pockets, in hand, floating around them, or even a part of them can be anything they like, as long as their strength, growth, and wellbeing are all assured.

__ While my focus is on fighting characteristics, a lot of these can also be applied to how they perform tasks outside of arenas as well.

[here2bbtstrash]

park and ride (explicit)

genre: smut

pairing: namjoon x reader

summary: your fuckbuddy asks if the two of you can drive around a bit first, but he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself

word count: 4.8k

contains: explicit sexual content bb! idol verse, fuckbuddies, teasing while driving, semi-public sex (aka fuckin in a car), fingering, squirting, a smidge of size kink, also joon really likes your skirt

A/N: inspired by that ~mysterious extra day~ in america and joon posting Fast Car by Syd on his story (which, btw, TASTE) - this is also on AO3 if you'd rather read it over there!

For your own sanity, you try to stay busy. You go for a long run every morning to clear your mind. You delete Twitter from your phone and get two weeks ahead on your grad school assignments. You go out for drinks with friends and pepper them with questions about their own personal dramas.

But all the while that glimmer of hope in your chest remains, impossible to extinguish entirely. You know by now to keep your expectations low, very low. Just because he’s on this side of the world doesn’t mean he’ll have time to see you, and most of the time, he doesn’t. You figure there’s no point in obsessing over something that’s out of your control.

But this time is one of those rare occasions where the stars align and the universe decides to throw you a good turn, and you can’t help the smile that breaks across your face when he calls.

“I got an extra day. Are you free tomorrow night?”

“Hmm… yeah, I should be able to pencil you in,” you joke.

The celebrity part of it is still pretty bizarre, but you’ve done this enough now that it’s become its own weird little routine. Pulling up to a hotel where the nightly rate costs more than your monthly share of rent. Handing the valet the keys to your shitty Honda Civic. Checking in at the front desk and giving the alias the group is booked under, which changes every trip. Showing your ID so they can confirm you’re on the approved list of visitors. Having a special room key made that allows you access to their restricted hotel floor. Just all part of the process.

And that’s not even mentioning the one time you were personally escorted by a bodyguard to his room; you wondered on the elevator ride up how much time their security staff spends ushering fuckbuddies in and out. You’ve decided that maybe you don’t want to know the answer to that one.

So it’s a surprise when he asks on the phone, “Can you pick me up instead this time? We don’t have to go anywhere special, maybe just drive around a bit? I’m so sick of hotel rooms.”

“Is this all a ploy to stop me from raiding your minibar?”

He laughs softly. “Oh don’t get me wrong. I definitely still plan on taking you back to my room and…” He trails off, well aware that he doesn’t need to explicitly finish the sentence. “Well, you know. Just need some fresh air first, I think.”

You decide you’ve given him enough sass for one phone call and bite back the urge to argue that he’s not actually taking you anywhere, as you’re the only one with a license in this situationship.

“Yeah, sure. I can do that.”

~*~

Never in a million years would you have ever thought you’d have Kim Namjoon riding shotgun in your car, the seat pushed back as far as it can go to accommodate his long legs.

He’d slipped out of the front door of the hotel looking as nondescript as possible in a black hoodie and shorts, face hidden almost entirely by a black facemask and a bucket hat pulled down low over his eyes. You pause, hands still on the wheel, wondering if you should expect some kind of greeting. This is so far outside the realm of your normal interactions that you have no established protocol to follow.

“It’s good to see you, let’s get out of here.” He says softly, and you take that as your cue to shift gears and follow the road out of the hotel entrance.

Namjoon seems tense, you think as you pass through an intersection. He keeps switching between checking his phone, looking out the passenger-side window, then turning over his shoulder to look at the traffic behind you.

“Sorry,” he explains, “Not trying to be rude. Just being careful.” That’s when it finally registers in your mind that he’s making sure you’re not being followed, and the thought sends a shiver of fear up your spine. The fact that this is a regular part of life for him is so strange.

The city is fairly deserted tonight, and when you stop at the next red light you can see him visibly relax a little, unlooping his mask from around his ears and tucking it into his pocket along with his phone. He slips his hat off as well and tosses it in the backseat, pulling down the visor to make sure his hair looks good in the tiny mirror. You try to suppress a laugh; surely this man knows that he already rolls out of bed looking fine as hell, no adjustments necessary.

He flips the visor closed and catches you staring at him, and a thrum of desire runs through you. Has he managed to get hotter since the last time you saw him? You didn’t think that was possible.

“Come here,” he murmurs, leaning over to cup your jaw with one hand and bring you in for a kiss.

This is your favorite part of these reunions—remembering all the little things you’d forgotten since the last time. Like how big and warm his hands are, how hungrily he kisses you. It isn’t until an impatient horn blaring snaps you back to reality that you remember you were stopped at a red light, which is now very much green. Judging by the way the driver behind you is laying on the horn, it’s been green for a while.

“Fuck, oops.” You move to pull away but he keeps his hand on your jaw, holding you in place, your lips inches apart. His eyes are dark with pure want as he stares at your mouth.

“One more.” His lips are so soft; this kiss is sweeter than the first, less urgent. You barely notice as the driver behind you swerves into the other lane to pass your stopped car and speeds off through the intersection.

Namjoon brushes his thumb against your cheek and then removes his hand somewhat reluctantly. You can’t hold back your smile as you ease your foot off the brake, trying to focus on the road. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but when you see a green light while driving, it means you’re supposed to go.”

He leans back in the passenger seat, his hands clasped behind his head, dimples fully on display as he laughs. “There it is. I knew you’d get in a license joke eventually.”

“I held it in for as long as I could.”

“I bet you did.”

You realize he didn’t give you any directions on where to go, so you drive aimlessly through the city that you know so well. The lights at night are beautiful, even you can admit that, and though you typically hate the many intersections, it’s not so bad when you have someone to kiss you breathless each time you hit a red light.

During a particularly long stretch of greens, he taps his knuckles on the center console. You glance over to see his eyes roaming across the inside of your car, like he’s just realized where he is. “So this is your whip, huh?”

The fact that this dork is a professional rapper amazes you sometimes. “Top of the line 2008 Honda Civic.”

He touches a finger to a mystery stain on the vinyl of your dashboard that’s been there for at least a decade. “I could get you a better car than this.” He doesn’t say it in a bragging way, though he certainly could. Instead he just sounds sweet, and sincere. Like he wants you to have nice things.

You roll your eyes. “Save your money. There’s nothing wrong with this car.”

With a thoughtful hum, Namjoon rests his left hand just above your knee, and you reflexively spread your legs a little wider, keeping your eyes firmly on the road despite your quickening pulse. His thumb draws lazy circles on the outside of your thigh. “Well, now we know you’re not fucking me for my money.”

The truth escapes with a laugh before you can stop it. “No, I’m fucking you for your big dick.”

“Oh?” His hand climbs a little higher and arousal pools in your belly. You can already feel yourself getting wet. “Is that right?”

“Mm-hmm.” Eyes on the road, you tell yourself. His hand is rubbing your thigh gently now. It takes all of your willpower not to look over at him.

“I like this skirt,” He says softly, and a blush creeps up your neck. You’ve always had a complex about being fashion-challenged, and having a fuckbuddy with personal stylists and access to the nicest clothes money can buy doesn’t help. You changed outfits about twenty times before you finally settled on this one, a black long-sleeve and a yellow plaid miniskirt.

You lose your train of thought entirely when he nudges his hand a little higher, slipping it under the fabric, and hooks his pinky finger around the lace edge of your panties. Your cunt clenches at the thought of his long fingers in you.

“Are you trying to make me crash this car?” You do your best to keep your voice even, though you’re certain he can tell your thighs are quivering.

His fingers trace along the line of your panties where your hip and thigh meet, lighting every last one of your nerve endings on fire. “No, but maybe we should… park somewhere.” The suggestion surprises you, but you’re not opposed. In fact, you’re hard pressed to think of a place where you wouldn’t be willing to fuck Kim Namjoon.

“Are you sure?” “If you want to.” He responds nonchalantly. His hand slides out from under your skirt, moving a few inches back down your thigh. “I’ll behave now. How’s school?”

You laugh incredulously—your panties are soaked and this tease wants to talk about grad school? “Oh no, you started this. Don’t you change the subject.”

You don’t even have to look over to know he’s smiling at your frustration, and you turn right at the next intersection and then immediately left into the parking lot of a shopping center. It’s several hours after closing, so the place is empty, but you still drive around the building to the large commuter lot behind it to ensure you’re properly hidden.

You pull into a space directly in front of the “Park and Ride” sign, and you smirk as you pull up the parking brake. The irony is not lost on you.

The moment where you each have to fumble to unbuckle your seatbelt is just awkward enough that you’re laughing when he pulls you back in for another kiss across the center console. Euphoric is the only way to describe the feeling of having him here. It’s proof that he’s not some dream you made up but somehow, impossibly real.

He leans the passenger seat as far back as it will go, shifting his body to one side as best as he can to offer you the seat. “Will you please come over here?”

It’s certainly not graceful as the two of you fumble to get comfortable in the cramped space of your front seat, but when is it ever with him? You’ve seen him shatter wine glasses, knock over bedside lamps and alarm clocks, and you still haven’t let him live down the time he once fully broke the wooden frame of a hotel bed. You like that he’s multifaceted; he can make you laugh and fuck you senseless.

You take his place lying back in the passenger seat and he crawls over you, kneeling on the edge of the seat and resuming the urgent kisses, his tongue now licking into your mouth. You only break apart to shed clothing, first your shirt, then his, and then your bra. (He looks extra smug for being able to undo it one-handed on the first try.)

He tosses it into the backseat with the rest of your clothes then pauses to take you in, eyes roaming over your body. He licks his lips. “You’re beautiful.”

Your nipples stiffen at his words and the cool night air; being half-exposed like this makes the reality of the situation set in. You’re technically fucking in public, and it’s turning you on a lot more than you anticipated.

You run your hands over his shoulders and across his chest and groan as he moves his lips down the slope of your neck. He’s just so big, especially in your small car—broad shoulders, long legs, and flexing muscles that make your core throb in anticipation. You’re dying for him to touch you, to fuck you, but he’s taking his sweet time.

As if sensing your impatience, he grabs both of your wrists in his hands, pinning them to either side of you while he kisses, bites, and licks along your neck and collarbones. You can’t contain the little noises he pulls out of you when he finds a particularly sensitive spot.

You try straining against his grip just to see what happens, but he’s so much stronger than you that he doesn’t budge. When you whine a little, you feel him smile against your skin.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.” He lets one of your hands free and brings his own to cup your left breast, rubbing the pad of his thumb over your nipple in just the right way that makes you arch up into his touch. Fuck, he’s good at that.

“You have me.” Namjoon says, like it’s obvious. “Be more specific.” He dips his head down to tease a circle around your nipple with his tongue, then just barely grazes the sensitive tip with his teeth and you moan.

Your head is spinning, and you can’t keep your voice from shaking as he gives the same attention to your right breast, his thumb continuing to work the left one.

“I need to f-feel you inside me,” you groan. “Please.” Your pussy aches from lack of attention.

“Whatever you like, baby.” He replies, shifting his position slightly to get a better angle. Your head falls back against the seat as his hand makes contact with your thigh, rubbing it just like he did when he was teasing you while you drove. Your breath catches when he slides both of his hands under your skirt, thumbs hooking your panties, and pulls them down in one swift motion. “Skirt stays on.” He says with a flash of his dimpled smile. “I like it.”

You maneuver to get your underwear all the way off in the limited amount of space and nearly knee him in the groin. The look of concern on his face at the close call makes you laugh out loud, which quickly turns into a moan when he presses two fingers into your dripping cunt. You’re breathless and still smiling, completely dazed from it all, as he pumps them in and out of you at a torturously slow pace.

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” His thumb slides between your folds, collecting the wetness there. He gently circles over your clit and you gasp. You’re not gonna make it, you think. You’ll die right here in the passenger seat if he keeps touching you like this.

Instinctively you move to cover your flushed face with your forearm, embarrassed by how overwhelmed with pleasure you are, but he catches your wrist and pins it down again with his left hand, the other still working your pussy.

“Don’t hide,” he murmurs. “I want to watch you fall apart.” And then he picks up the pace.

You’re helpless to his touch, moaning and panting for air as you feel your orgasm already fast approaching and a warmth building in your core. He curls his fingers inside you, pressing hard against your front wall while his thumb rubs your clit in perfect time. Namjoon knows exactly what he’s doing with you, exactly how to work out the strongest orgasms you’ve ever had, and you know you’re headed for one now when your cunt starts to flutter around his hand.

“That’s it, baby.” His voice drips like honey. “Come for me.”

You cry out as your orgasm hits you, your back arching up off the seat. The pressure building in your core reaches its peak and you feel it burst as a wave of arousal rushes out of your cunt and splashes against his hand and your spread thighs. He groans at the sight. His fingers ride you through the aftershocks until you squirm from oversensitivity and he finally relents, releasing his grip on your wrist at the same time.

“Holy shit,” is all you can manage once you’ve come down from your climax, staring dumbly at the ceiling of your car in disbelief, trying to remember how to breathe. Your heart is racing. “That was… oh my god.”

“Still got it.” He says, clearly self-satisfied, and you laugh as he presses a gentle kiss to your collarbone. Namjoon always gets so proud of himself when he makes you squirt. “I think that might be a new record.”

You roll your eyes but you’re still grinning, enjoying the waves of your post-orgasm high. It’s been a long time since you came that hard. “Yeah, yeah, you’re very talented. Shut up and switch with me.”

Shifting positions is made harder by the fact that your legs threaten to give out when you put weight on them, but his hands slide up to your waist to steady you so you don’t fall over. Eventually he resumes his place in the passenger seat, and you kneel down in the small space in front of him, his legs on either side of you.

He lifts his hips up so you can tug his shorts down, and you’re torn between teasing him back as revenge and the overwhelming desire to take him in your mouth immediately. You can already feel your core starting to throb. There’s just something about Namjoon that makes you insatiable. You don’t think you could ever get enough of him.

You trail kisses up the inside of his thigh, biting every so often at the sensitive skin there, delighting in the way his breath hitches each time. Two can play at this game, you think as you press a hand to his stomach, just barely teasing a finger under the band of his boxer-briefs to scratch your nail lightly across his skin. His hips jerk in response and you smile.

You move your hand lower to palm him over his underwear, gripping firmly but keeping your pace slow to torment him. You weren’t just flattering him earlier—his dick is life-ruiningly big, the perfect combination of long and thick, and he’s fully erect under your touch. You want it so bad, your naked cunt is getting slick all over again at the thought.

But first, some retribution.

You still the movement of your hand and place a gentle kiss to the head of his dick through the fabric of his underwear, then gaze up at him innocently. His lips are parted slightly and he’s breathing hard, watching your every move. The way he looks at you like you’re the center of the universe makes your stomach flip.

It feels good to be in control. Keeping eye contact, you lick a slow stripe up the fabric of his boxers and feel the strong muscles in his thighs flex under your hand as he groans a little.

You drop your gaze to take the head of his still-clothed dick in your mouth, resuming the slow pump of one hand over his shaft.

“Fuck, baby,” Namjoon hisses.

You tug his boxers down his legs, too desperate to see him. His cock looks so good you can feel yourself salivating. The tip of it is already shiny, slick with a mixture of pre-cum and moisture from your teasing. You trace up the large vein on his shaft with the pad of your thumb. When you pause to rub small circles at the extra-sensitive spot right under his head, he lets out a strangled whine.

Encouraged by the sound, you wrap your hand firmly around him and he gasps. You can feel his cock pulse in your hand. You pump him ever-so slowly, working a new bead of precum out of the tip, then lightly run your tongue over him to lick it up.

His hips jerk again and he grunts your name, his voice hoarse.

You lean back on your heels, your hand still wrapped around him, and feign surprise. “Hmm? I’m sorry, did you say something?”

He’s clearly trying to keep the smirk of disbelief off his face, but a telltale dimple gives it away. “Oh my god, you’re so evil.”

You smile at the compliment and finally take him into your mouth; his moan of relief makes your pussy throb. You swallow down as much of his dick as you can and wrap your hand around the rest, bobbing and pumping in a steady motion. His hips start rutting against your mouth in time with your movements.

The way Namjoon is groaning unabashedly now makes your face hot. God, you need to fuck him. You look up and take him as far down your throat as you can, gagging slightly, and he must be able to read the desire in your eyes. He runs a hand through your hair, just barely tugging, and you relent, his dick sliding out of your mouth with a wet pop.

“Get up here,” he growls. You climb into his lap and straddle him, and he kisses you so fervently that your head spins.

His hands slide under your skirt to grab your ass and he pulls you closer. As he does, you realize how soaked you really are, your slit slipping easily along his length. You can barely keep from whimpering at how good it feels, and he’s not even inside you yet. His cock twitches and you shudder, unable to stop yourself from rolling your hips and grinding against him. You’re so turned on, you could come from this alone.

“Keep doing that, baby,” he encourages, and your eyes flutter open as he shifts slightly. He reaches for his discarded shorts, his other hand caressing your thigh as if to apologize for the interruption. After a bit of fumbling he produces a condom, reaching both arms around you to rip it open with shaking hands.

Leaning back, you brace yourself on his legs and lift your hips up so he can slide the latex down his length. Your thighs are trembling hard as his hands move back to your ass and help guide you into place.

It’s been so long, and you want this so badly. You’ve spent more than a few nights in bed with your hand between your legs, playing back the memory of how good he feels, how thoroughly he’s fucked you before. Even after all the anticipation, when you finally, finally sink down on his cock, it’s still somehow better than you remembered.

You have to take a moment to press your face into the crook of his neck as you get accustomed to the stretch of him inside you. His thumbs trace gentle circles along the globes of your ass and it’s enough to get your cunt to fully relax. You spread your knees a little wider and sink down another inch, gasping as he bottoms out in you. You feel impossibly, overwhelmingly full.

Namjoon smiles as you lift your head and bring one hand up, running your thumb along his jawline. He looks so good like this; his face is flushed and his eyes are dark with lust.

“I forgot how well you take my cock,” he says, giving your ass an approving squeeze. “Such a perfect fit.” The praise makes your pussy clench and he groans at the feeling.

His hands slide over your thighs and up to your hips. “Ride me, baby. Please.”

You can feel every inch of him as you brace your hands on his legs and start to rock your hips, and the sensation is so good you can barely form a coherent thought. Heat rises in your belly as you lift up and lean back slightly, and when you ease your hips down, the head of his dick grinds against your sweet spot.

“Holy shit,” you gasp, and you hear him grunt beneath you as you rock your hips in just the same way over and over and over. It feels so fucking good, you never want to stop. The filthy sounds of your slick cunt only bring you that much closer to your end.

Namjoon’s fingers dig into your skin and he thrusts up into you, matching your rhythm. The pleasure is so forceful now that your walls squeeze tightly around his length. “Just like that, baby, fuck.” He sounds absolutely wrecked. “You feel amazing.”

His thumb moves to press your clit under your skirt and you’re practically vibrating with overstimulation, already incredibly close to coming. Your legs shake so badly that you start to lose your rhythm and he takes control, fucking up into you with fast and powerful strokes. The way he pounds into your cunt feels so overwhelmingly good that your jaw drops open and you moan loudly. He only has to circle your clit one, two, three more times before it’s all over.

You can’t do anything but whimper and throw your head back as your orgasm overtakes you. Your arms threaten to give out and you collapse into his chest. The release of pressure is so intense that you see stars as wetness floods your pussy.

You pulse around him again and again and then Namjoon is coming too, groaning your name, his cock twitching inside you.

For several minutes, all you can do is lay against him, your body shuddering as you come down from the high. His hands press gently against the small of your back as reality slowly returns around you.

Your panting dissolves into soft gasps of laughter; you can’t believe that just happened. Fucking Kim Namjoon in your shitty Honda Civic, of all places. What a time to be alive. You nuzzle your nose against his neck and he turns his head to press a kiss to your hairline. “Welcome back,” he murmurs against your hair.

“Wow,” is all you can manage. You feel completely spent, blissed out.

“That was… crazy.” Namjoon sounds just as much at a loss for words as you are. “You’re so incredible.” He rubs small circles into your back and you sigh. You wish he could fuck you like this every day, but you don’t say that part out loud. You know it’s just the post-orgasm chemicals talking.

You turn your head to the side and laugh again as you realize the car windows are completely covered over with fog. He follows your gaze. “At least we don’t have to worry about whether anyone saw us.”

Feeling starts to come back to your limbs. Soreness is already blooming along the muscles in your thighs and your bent knees, but it was so worth it, you can't even be mad. “I think my legs are broken,” you say with a wince.

“I’m sorry.” He sounds so sincere at first that it makes you smile. “Guess you can blame it on this big dick, huh?”

You roll your eyes, but he’s thoroughly fucked the sass out of you, for now at least. You don’t even have it in you to tell him to shut up, so you pull his face to yours and kiss him instead. He sucks gently on your bottom lip and you think your heart might burst.

Once you finally break apart, you rest your head on his chest again. “Hotel time?”

Namjoon brings a hand up to stroke your hair. “Baby, I’ve got some bad news.”

You freeze, and your stomach drops, preparing for the worst. He’s always been a gentleman and let you stay the night, but he’s busier than ever these days, you know that. Maybe things are different now. You will yourself not to react to whatever he says next, post-orgasm chemicals be damned.

“The minibar in this hotel… it’s awful.”

“Oh, fuck you!” You laugh, pushing against his chest and sitting up to see his dimpled grin. He stretches, hands behind his head, his biceps flexing. He’s so handsome. You absolutely hate him and like him way too much all at once. “You have,” he reminds you. “And you will again soon. But I need some real food first.”

You are starving, you realize. You run a finger across his chest and put on your most seductive voice. “Hmm… how about I take you to In-N-Out? We’re gonna need some protein before round two.”

“Alright,” he shrugs. “But I’m paying.”

“Of course you are, sugar daddy.”

He laughs against your mouth as he kisses you.

A/N: thanks for reading!!! i ended up fulfilling a request for a short companion piece to this! if you want more quippy fuckbuddies goodness, check out five minutes! 💜