transgendertips

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🙏 Mutual Aid Request 💝

I have around $400 a month to pay in loans, $200 of that being minimum payments for a payday loan I took out due to being extremely tight financially. I’m just asking for a bit of help to pay off loans and bills. I make $14/hr and I have $135 a month to pay on storage, I normally split this with my mom but since she’s tight on money too I’ve been paying it all on my own which means I can’t pay my half the utilities bills. Our rent is $1650 a month and I have $65 total for monthly minimum credit card payments. As of July 15 or July 16, to completely pay off the payday loan I only needed a little under $600 but it’s high interest that accumulates daily. I have to pay $103 in interest alone every 2 weeks but I also have 2 personal loans in my name that I pay $74 and $93 a month for and I can’t get approved for any loans right now to pay off the payday loan. I used all my savings to pay for a new place for me and my mom on top of borrowing money from someone else where I had to give them $500 a week for around 5 weeks a while back. I also am responsible for some damages at work and will have a minimum of $250 cut from my paycheck which will just make things even harder. I only want enough to pay off the payday loan and any there may be could go towards other debts/bills.

I also have CashApp if that’s easier for anyone, my tag js $SebastianSean

https://cash.app/$SebastianSean

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im so sorry for asking for help again but this is very urgent. my dad is out of his medicine and he wont be getting any money until tomorrow; but its very important that he gets it today. he needs $50 to get his medicine. if five ppl were to send $10 he'll be set. thank you 🥺

paypal.me/akirk432 (pls send via friends and family)

cashapp: $autumnroses93

venmo: @catmom934 (pls do not send via purchase protection)

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I saw a post a little while ago that I'll never find again, but it's still bugging me. It was written like a PSA about proper procedure for applying testosterone gel--mainly, how you're not supposed to let it get on anyone else's skin.

And that's correct. But the post went hard on it, like "please, please be aware of the risks of this medication, it can do so much damage to others if you're not careful, I just think we should be honest about the advantages and disadvantages of medications like this."

It could've been sincere, but it gave me concern-trolling vibes real bad and I can't get it out of my head. So here's my PSA:

Don't slap on your T-gel and then immediately rub your bare bicep on anyone.

Once 2 hours have passed, the remaining amount available to be absorbed is negligible. The med guide says to wash your bicep before you rub it on anyone, but even that's being extremely cautious.

Testosterone isn't poison. If you apply a full dose every day, it still takes months before anything noticeable happens. It's not going to kill someone who accidentally touches your skin for .5 milliseconds.

You do not have to handle T-gel like it's drain cleaner. It's not corrosive. Cis women have testosterone. It's a thing that humans have in our bodies. Avoid getting your medication onto anyone else, but holy shit nothing bad is gonna happen if you forget one time and snuggle shirtless.

T-gel is alcohol-based, so it's best to refrain from being on fire until it has dried thoroughly.

Don't put it on your dick. If you've ever accidentally or on purpose gotten IcyHot on your dick, you have an intuitive understanding of how the skin there differs from bicep skin. Also, the effects of testosterone gel don't localize like that and your dick is fine, I promise.

Don't eat it. I don't know why you'd want to, but don't.

Don't leave the bottle out around little kids on account of little kids being the way that they are, i.e., enthusiastic about potions.

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New zine! "Testosterone is for Girls, Too" black and white, 24 pages, quarter size, 5 bucks

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we cannot afford to not be normal about pregnant men

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Hi, my name is Sebastian Sean and I’ve been needing to get top surgery (FTM bilateral mastectomy) and have been trying to save for the better part of a decade but my insurance runs out in a few months (around June/July 2022) as I will be turning 26 years old. I am hoping to get the majority of my medical needs taken care of before then and getting what has always been the biggest hurdle in terms of me transitioning out of the way before then is incredibly important/urgent.

This campaign’s goal is to cover the cost of surgery, after care needs, possible revisions, and a few months living expenses so I can take care of bills while in recovery. I plan to take 3-4 months off of work for recovery to make sure I’m completely healed before Re entering the workforce (I also expect my recovery time to take a bit longer than “typical” due to my mobility issues and chronic pain.)

Over the past 6+ years I have managed to save $1,304 for all of this and I will continue to save until it is time to pay for my surgery. It has been difficult getting even just this money due to living cost + most of my adult life making less than $1,000/month. Getting top surgery will alleviate the majority of my dysphoria as well as take pressure off of my back, an area of my body that gives me many issues pain/mobility wise, and also leave me with less tissue that could possibly become cancerous (breast cancer runs in the family).

About $4,000 of the $15,550 for the campaign goal will go towards living expenses: around $500/month for rent, around $200/month for utilizes, $40/month transportation (not including gas or ride shares, just monthly bus pass), 4 months of cat food and litter (about $120), as well as other things I use on a daily/weekly basis.

About $11,000 is for the procedure itself, including consultations, revisions, and the rest is for aftercare such as silicone gel, medical binders, medicines, etc.

Any little bit helps, I greatly appreciate you reading this and any donations/shares. Finally getting top surgery means the world to me and will greatly improve my quality of life in so many ways.

The goal is calculated for the cost without insurance as I don’t realistically see myself being able to get it before my insurance runs out (last week before I turn 26). Im hoping I can get it covered but seeing as I have other medical expenses I have to take care of before it runs out as well, on top of how long wait times, consultants, etc takes (and having money for glasses but not surgery), I don’t see it happening.

Any shares, donations, etc are much appreciated, it honestly means the world to me. Thank you for even just reading this! 💕

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Hi, I don't know if you're able to help me but I have top surgery in 2 months and I've heard that you should exercise before the surgery. I haven't really exercised because of my dysphoria and depression, and I'm now feeling very anxious about it... I'm scared my results will look bad because of not exercising and building muscle before the surgery. I am fairly healthy and thin but I definitely don't have much muscles - which doesn't really bother me. I'm just scared I have ruined my top surgery :(

So for exercise tips I’m prob not the best person to go to BUT—

Let’s look at a few things about this:

Post op, the things I have heard from MANY people is that it is incredibly important to do small stretches and massage the areas you’ve been operated on + the surrounding area in order to keep up/rebuild your range of movement. So it looks like some of the most important things are to rebuild range of movement in the arms/shoulders and to prevent muscular atrophy in the chest/shoulders/arms.

Pre op, depending on type of top surgery prep is going to look different, but since you mention muscles I’m going to assume it’s within the mastectomy category which can be varied in a lot of ways. Your insurance may require you to be on HRT for 18+ months without a single missed dose, your dr may or may not recommend HRT or exercise, and many drs have had many patients who didn’t have exceptional chest muscles, so you’re more than likely going to be FINE. More than fine. However many drs have said having SOME build up of muscle makes it EASIER for them to reconstruct the area in the later stages of surgery and many people who get mastectomies will say it’s easier to hide certain scars (if that’s what you wish to do) if there’s a build up of some muscle.

I also try doing the exercise thing and between time, fatigue, disability, it’s a pain in the ass, let me tell you.

Maybe the best thing is for you to combine something easy and simple with something else. For example, if you watch a lot of TV, you can add some simple stretches to that to increase mobility and to set a routine for yourself. I think the absolute hardest thing about exercise is the routine part.

You have most definitely not ruined your chances of top surgery, so try not to think too much about that.

I’m going to drop some links, as a disclaimer I haven’t gone through all of them but here they are:

TikTok Tony is a Top Surgery Dr he’s great:

This one is just about a book btw

And when I tried finding something about exercising with depression this was the only thing that fit what I was looking for

If top surgery is something you want/need, you’ve prob already done some research on it, so I say def go back to that as well and look to see what others have done. There’s plethora of guides and testimonials nowadays. Try not to be so hard on yourself too.

EDIT: totally missed the part where you said you had top surgery in two months 😭 omg that’s so great 😭 congrats!!!!🎈🍾🎉🎊 if your team has resources for therapy to deal with the stress of surgery etc I do recommend checking that out though. Follow your surgeons directions, do your stretches and massages, and do your best to take care of yourself and get plenty of rest 💕

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we should hype up bottom surgery more i think. both twitter transphobes and chronically online trans people really like to be disgusted at phalloplasty, vaginoplasty, ext. and i really think we should treat them as cool and sexy and neutral like top surgery scars or whatever

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I'm a 6'3" tall trans woman looking to get into gothic lolita fashion. Do you have any tips on locating clothes that'd be able to fit me well? Most of the information I've looked through so far seems to indicate that I'd need to sew my own stuff to have it fit nice, but locating patterns I like the look of has proven quite daunting for me, and it's been rather... stressful? for me since I'm not 100% certain what to look for.

Sorry for taking over a month to get back to you on this one! I wanted to make sure that I have good input.

If money isn't your primary concern, the first brands I'd suggest you look into are Atelier Pierot and Metamorphose. Meta is a little bit less gothic, but they do offer a lot of their clothing in plus sizes. Atelier Pierot is definitely gothic and offers quite a few taller/larger sizes.

Ellie Vrya, the only youtube channel I know of that talks both about wrestling and lolita fashion, also does a lot of reviews of clothing she wears, and she's quite tall.

Otherwise, for sewing, I personally learned a lot by just making mockups of EVERYTHIGN that I made for like my first year of sewing. I used this tutorial, made it out of cheap fabric, and when I was done just used the fabric as modified pattern pieces. This also had the advantage of everything that I sewed in nice fabric, I'd already followed the pattern once in muslin, so I had a lot more confidence. I haven't talked about that process before on this blog, but I'd been thinking about what really helped me as babylita, and that was one of those things.

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What it meant to be a woman in many African pre-colonial societies was not rigid. “Among the Langi of northern Uganda,” writes Sylvia Tamale, dean of the faculty of Law at Makerere University Uganda, “the mudoko dako, or effeminate males, were treated as women and could marry men.” There were also the Chibados or Quimbanda of Angola, male diviners whom, some scholars have argued, were believed to carry female spirits through anal sex.

[…]

This practice of same-sex marriage was documented in more than 40 precolonial African societies: a woman could marry one or more women if she could secure the bridewealth necessary or was expected to uphold and augment kinship ties. The idea that a female could be a husband perplexed Europeans, and often lead to fantastical conclusions.

Wanted to share an article about pre-colonial African gender identities! The article is really great! 

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"passing" is a concept forced on trans people by cis people & society, not something we're all clawing and foaming at the mouth to do because it's fun and enjoyable and gives us our life's meaning. "passing" is not fun, "passing" does not give you deep fulfillment. the need to pass stems from the fear of being harmed.

passing at its core is an act of safety and protection that gets wrapped up as one of presentation and expression, but you have no freedom in how you get to pass or what you get to pass as. passing is not fun for the trans person even if it feels rewarding when it happens, it's work, it's evading danger, it's stress. it's something you shouldn't even have to do to begin with if people just respected you.

WE, trans people, do not care about passing because we care about it- we care about it because cis people have made us care about it.

[transgendertips]

"passing" is a concept forced on trans people by cis people & society, not something we're all clawing and foaming at the mouth to do because it's fun and enjoyable and gives us our life's meaning. "passing" is not fun, "passing" does not give you deep fulfillment. the need to pass stems from the fear of being harmed.

passing at its core is an act of safety and protection that gets wrapped up as one of presentation and expression, but you have no freedom in how you get to pass or what you get to pass as. passing is not fun for the trans person even if it feels rewarding when it happens, it's work, it's evading danger, it's stress. it's something you shouldn't even have to do to begin with if people just respected you.

WE, trans people, do not care about passing because we care about it- we care about it because cis people have made us care about it.

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Hey. Large chest people that want it to be smaller and flatter. I have a tip for you.

I am a trans man. I have an h cup chest. That is not a typo, not a brag, and not an invitation to sexually harass me. This means I have about 4 pounds of breast. This means that binders do not work for me. There’s not enough structure in the compression to keep that much weight in place.

I wore a sports bra under my binder, for a time- it kept things in place, and the binder flattened. This isn’t really safe and I recommend against it. It also never actually got me looking masc- I tended to look like I had between a c or b cup. TransTape I discarded too- it’s just not sturdy enough.

Enter Enell. Specifically, the Enell Sport High Impact Bra.

I want you to look at the construction of that sports bra. It clasps in the front. This flattens the chest. And since it’s a sports bra designed for busty people, it LOCKS everything in place. When I wear my Enell sports bra, I do not bounce. It also gets me looking like I have an a cup at worst- and at best, when I layer, I actually look masc.

Admittedly, they’re not cheap. That one’s 66$. But I’ve tried even custom binders, and they don’t work as well as Enell. I was actually contemplating a custom built corset before I found Enell. Enell is also much, much safer than layering compression, since it is being used as intended (sort of). As a bonus, you can actually exercise in it- it’s a sports bra!

I will note that they use their own sizing system, so you will have to measure yourself.

Happy binding!

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Shoutout to fat trans people who have to deal with the fatphobia towards their agab, the fatphobia towards gender they actually identify with, the fatphobia within the queer community itself, AND sometimes dysphoria on top of all that. I see you, you're doing amazing, and I'm so proud of you.

[transgendertips]

Hi, my name is Sebastian Sean and I’ve been needing to get top surgery (FTM bilateral mastectomy) and have been trying to save for the better part of a decade but my insurance runs out in a few months (around June/July 2022) as I will be turning 26 years old. I am hoping to get the majority of my medical needs taken care of before then and getting what has always been the biggest hurdle in terms of me transitioning out of the way before then is incredibly important/urgent.

This campaign’s goal is to cover the cost of surgery, after care needs, possible revisions, and a few months living expenses so I can take care of bills while in recovery. I plan to take 3-4 months off of work for recovery to make sure I’m completely healed before Re entering the workforce (I also expect my recovery time to take a bit longer than “typical” due to my mobility issues and chronic pain.)

Over the past 6+ years I have managed to save $1,304 for all of this and I will continue to save until it is time to pay for my surgery. It has been difficult getting even just this money due to living cost + most of my adult life making less than $1,000/month. Getting top surgery will alleviate the majority of my dysphoria as well as take pressure off of my back, an area of my body that gives me many issues pain/mobility wise, and also leave me with less tissue that could possibly become cancerous (breast cancer runs in the family).

About $4,000 of the $15,550 for the campaign goal will go towards living expenses: around $500/month for rent, around $200/month for utilizes, $40/month transportation (not including gas or ride shares, just monthly bus pass), 4 months of cat food and litter (about $120), as well as other things I use on a daily/weekly basis.

About $11,000 is for the procedure itself, including consultations, revisions, and the rest is for aftercare such as silicone gel, medical binders, medicines, etc.

Any little bit helps, I greatly appreciate you reading this and any donations/shares. Finally getting top surgery means the world to me and will greatly improve my quality of life in so many ways.

The goal is calculated for the cost without insurance as I don’t realistically see myself being able to get it before my insurance runs out (last week before I turn 26). Im hoping I can get it covered but seeing as I have other medical expenses I have to take care of before it runs out as well, on top of how long wait times, consultants, etc takes (and having money for glasses but not surgery), I don’t see it happening.

Any shares, donations, etc are much appreciated, it honestly means the world to me. Thank you for even just reading this! 💕

[transgendertips]

Gender of the day:

Sad little freak