#the list for nct would be too long

[ayoyoungg]

tagged by @stay-a-nctzen thanks~ i was pleasantly surprised haha

bias check~ list 10 groups you stan and your bias from each, then tag 10 people!

B.A.P - Daehyun & Jongup

SHINee - Jonghyun & Key

NCT - Renjun

XG - Chisa

Loona - Gowon

JO1 - Junki & Sukai

Red Velvet - Seulgi

EXO - Lay & Baekhyun

Seventeen - Seungkwan & Dino

Stray Kids - Changbin

I’ll tag @7nsomnia and @bisexualhobi if y’all are interested

[tonicandjins]

learning languages | lee donghyuck

pairing: lee donghyuck | nct haechan x reader word count: 18.5k genre: university au, getting together, smut, fluff, angst summary: in which you're an exchange student and donghyuck teaches you the essential korean phrases you need, and eventually how to fall in love with him tag list: @smwhrinthehaze @byungbyungbaek @sundamariis @thiccfullsun @yesohhsehun @haechoshi @najmnluvr @liz-zo @heyitsconysstuff @magicastle @novawon @gaeulswrld author’s note: I’m so sorry it took so long, but here it is! I imagine conversations with everyone in Korean, except for Mark! 😊 I imagine the conversations with Mark in English. I also have 0 knowledge with the Korean language except from the common phrases every Kpop fan knows lol. So please bare with me and feel free to correct me! ^^ Please also consider tipping me if you want to! NCT Dream is coming to my country this April and I’d love to see them if I could :) TIP ME HERE.

날씨가 추워 (nalssiga chuwo) – the weather is cold

The rain is pouring when you arrive in Incheon. 

It’s not as harsh as it is where you come from, but the February breeze still makes you shiver and curse under your breath, and while you’re wallowing and pouting over the fact that your first day in South Korea is not going as well as you wanted, Mark is chirpy—a little too happy for your liking. 

Of course, Mark is happy. Your bitterness over the weather is not going to spoil his energy, the exact same one—maybe stronger—he has had over the past couple of weeks, counting down the days he’d be back in Seoul, finally. Mark has told you that it had been over a decade since he last visited South Korea, and the Student Exchange Program from your university had been the best opportunity for him to come back after so long, too long. The stupid smile on his face somehow makes you feel better, especially when he jumps from his seat when he sees his childhood friend walk towards your area. 

Renjun is handsome like the picture that Mark sent you a week before your flight to South Korea, but it feels a little unfair that he’s even more attractive in person. His voice sounds like honey and the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles as he approaches you and Mark. 

They jump into a tight, dramatic hug that makes a few other people in the waiting area look, but the boys don’t care. Mark lifts Renjun up from the ground, it’s almost embarrassing. The sight makes you feel warm. You wonder how Mark feels. 

It must be amazing, you think, to finally meet someone you’ve been longing to see. Mark had always expressed his yearning for the place—the people, the friends he always had to leave behind when visiting during summer—and it makes you wonder how it feels like to have friends and family away from you. 

Evidently, this is your first time to be away from home. You live (or used to at this point) in a dormitory, a two-minute walk to the campus, a good hour away from home, but you always went home whenever you craved for your mother’s dishes. You’ve never considered living away from home. Sure, you had plans to move out eventually, but not in a different time zone, not in an entirely different culture. Mark, on the other hand, is frequently moving around, dragging his suitcase from place to place, leaving people behind and promising he’d come back when he can.

Born in Canada, Mark had been to more places that you could count, but he has told you many times that nowhere else feels like home, like Seoul. He’s told you many stories of the time his family lived there for a few years before going back to Canada, of his annual visits in the summer, and of his devastation when life had caught up with him that he had to stop visiting when he turned eleven. 

You remember his voice, its tone and emotion, when he called you a couple of months ago, informing you of the exchange program that the university’s administration had posted on the students’ corner, and how fucking amazing it would be if you could sign up with him. 

“It would be a good addition to your credentials,” he had told you. “It’s not going to be for a long time, a semester at least. And we have the option to stay the whole academic year if we wanted to! Plus, I already know a lot of people there. We’ll be fine!”

“I don’t know, Mark,” you had answered, feigning hesitation, even when you knew deep down that Mark had already convinced you by the tone of his voice when he revealed the news. “I’ve never been that far away from home. Remember when we went camping in ninth grade? I cried. For three whole days. I’m not going to survive a semester. Besides, I know not a single Korean word.”

“Come on, Y/N,” he had begged. “Think about it. You’ll be with me the entire time. If we pass the screening, the program will sign us up for free Hangul lessons—though, let’s be honest, I don’t really need it.”

“Why do you have to bring me anyway?” you had asked out of curiosity.

“Because I know you’ll love it there,” he had answered. “Your obsession with studying culture and languages will be satisfied because there is no better way to learn a culture than experiencing the whole thing with your best friend!”

You remember humming in response, as if you’re thinking deeply about it. Mark sighed on the other line, his words making you laugh and finally agree. 

“The chances of Mom letting me go is bigger when I tell her you’re coming with me,” he had admitted. Mark, upon hearing your agreement to his proposal, began listing out the places he would take you. The phone call lasted for three more hours and it had seemed like Mark already had an entire plan in his head before he even asked you if you would go with him. 

Passing the program had been easy and so was acquiring your visa. What was truly the pain in the ass, you admit, is learning the damn language. You salute Mark for being able to speak Korean so fluently, but he’s shit at teaching you and you had to rely on the free lessons you had taken every weekend and your favorite language mentor, Lee Minho in Legend of the Blue Sea. Your Korean is awful. Your tongue is a little too short, too stiff, for said language, and the situation almost makes you back out of the entire program and ditch Mark. 

But here you are, still shit at Korean, but standing among hustling people and waiting for your best friend to wrap up the moment he’s sharing with his long-time friend. Renjun finally catches your eyes as you awkwardly watch them on the side, your backpack becoming heavier each second you’re standing on the airport tiles. He pulls away from Mark, smiling, beaming towards you and offers a handshake. 

“Hwang Renjun,” he introduces. You remember their last names go first here. “Nice to meet you.”

It almost startles you when he speaks English. Mark forgot to mention his friend is fluent, you think. 

You tell him your name, voice smaller than it usually is, and express your relief that he speaks English. 

“I’m originally not from here either,” he explains. “I’m Chinese. My family had to move here before I could even properly pronounce words for my Dad’s work. Went to an international school, where I met Mark back in second grade.”

So, he’s cute and multilingual. How unfair.

“And I’d love to chat longer,” he says, switching to Korean now, before you can even respond. “But Hyuck is waiting in his car. We could talk on our way to your dormitory. For now, let’s go. Hyuck hates waiting.”

“Hyuck drove? What happened to your car?” Mark asks, helping you with your luggage and pushing the cart himself. Renjun insists to carry your backpack, and he had already gently pulled it from your shoulder before you could refuse.

Mark and Renjun talk about Hyuck, both switching to speaking Korean now, on their way out of the arrival area and it doesn’t take long for them to spot their friend’s car outside. The rain had stopped pouring by the time you’re settling yourselves inside their friend’s car. The second you settle yourself on the leather seat, you sigh in relief. Traveling is a lot more exhausting than you had initially thought. 

Renjun sits on the passenger seat, right beside Hyuck, you assume, and Mark settles himself beside you.

“Mark Lee,” Hyuck greets, looking at Mark through the rearview mirror. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

It takes you a second to understand what he said. It’s only then that you realize you really are in Korea. 

“Lee Donghyuck,” Mark responds in the same tone. “You’re real. I’m happy to see you in person and not just through Facetime. I want to hug you.”

“Am I better looking in person?” Hyuck teases. “Hug me when we’re at your dormitory. I’ll even kiss you on the lips if you want to.”

“Disgusting,” Mark grimaces. “By the way—” He turns his attention to you the same time Hyuck begins driving. “This is Y/N.”

Hyuck only smiles, nodding a little to you through the rearview mirror, brushing his brown hair using his fingers to fix it up. Renjun begins to ask how the flight was and Mark replies. All three boys strike up a conversation in Korean and it was all too much, too fast, for you to catch up and understand anything, so you stay quiet on your seat, leaning against the window, and begin to wonder how things will go for the entire spring semester you’ll be spending in this foreign city. 

Mark never told you that the drive from Incheon to Seoul is long, so far that you didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep.  When you arrive at the dormitory, it’s past six in the afternoon and Mark’s friends ask kindly if you want to go out for dinner. Politely and quite incoherently, you tell them that you’d like to stay. Mark insists on staying home with you and unpacking your belongings, but you urge him to go, spend some time with his friends and walk around. Mark hesitates, but agrees nonetheless, promising he will come back in an hour.

The place the program had picked for you and Mark is not that bad. It’s nothing like home, but it’s not bad. It makes you wonder how Mark does it. You remember not being able to sleep on the first few nights on your dormitory’s bed when you were a freshman. Mark had never told you if he’s had trouble adapting to places he’s been. Maybe you could ask him in the morning. 

The exhaustion hits you again upon entering one of the rooms. Room assignment is yet to be decided, but Mark wouldn’t mind if you sleep on one of the beds while he’s out. And so, you sleep. 

You don’t remember what you dream of. And Mark wakes you at seven in the morning, reminding you that you had to unpack and go grocery shopping. Momentarily, you forget where you are. It hits you the same way it does in his friend’s car. You’re in a different country. A different language. A different time zone. 

It doesn’t feel like home at all even though it’s cold. But you guess you’ll have to make it work. At least until the semester ends. 

약속해요 (yagsoghaeyo) – I promise

When Mark told you he knew a lot of people in Seoul, you should’ve known he was bluffing because he literally knew only seven people.

Mark Lee’s friends are warm and loud and somehow you feel out of place when they all decide to hangout where you and Mark are. It’s the first week of the semester, and you have completed all the orientation and tour you need; Mark, on the other hand, is still catching up with everyone.

By everyone, he meant Kevin Moon, a senior who is also Mark’s cousin’s long-distance boyfriend who happens to be studying in SNU too, Hwang Renjun from Natural Sciences, Lee Donghyuck from Music, Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin from Engineering and Architecture, Zhong Chenle from Humanities, and Park Jisung from Business Administration. Which is why every day, for the past five days, you’re at a place called Arcade, with Mark and two or three people from their group.

It turns out Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin were Mark’s friends from childhood, the others are friends by extension.

Huang Renjun, you understand why Mark is closest to him among all. He’s soft all over but sharp in the mouth. Renjun, you learn, likes to talk about life and likes to give people advice when they need it. He’s reserved with other people but is the complete opposite when he’s with his friends.

Lee Jeno is shy. He normally joins the group after his internship at a construction corporation in the outskirts of Seoul, which is why you haven’t really seen him much—only twice. You haven’t had that many conversations with him yet, but he’s kind enough to pass you the ketchup when he sees you staring at it from the end of the table.

Zhong Chenle and Park Jisung are best friends. There’s not a day that you have not seen either without the other, kind of reminds you of how you and Mark are. They join whenever one is available—two peas in a pod.

Na Jaemin is the closest with Lee Donghyuck. You see them talking in their bubble more frequently than the others. Jaemin is mysterious and a little cold—the complete opposite of Lee Donghyuck.

Lee Donghyuck, well, you’ve got a lot to say about him.

It isn’t necessarily an uncomfortable feeling, because Mark’s friends are kind enough to slow down when they talk to you and are quite protective of you, especially when a random stranger bravely comes up to you to introduce themselves. Lee Donghyuck, in particular, who’s as warm as the sun touching your skin at nine in the morning and whose voice is careful and assuring, ensures that you’re never out of place—even when you feel it all the time. From the day the semester started, there hasn’t been a day when Donghyuck isn’t hanging out with you and Mark at Arcade.

Mark normally picks you up from class because thank God your schedules are aligned to each other despite having different majors. The College of Social Sciences is quiet, unlike the building right beside you, College of Music, and Mark usually takes five minutes to find you, because you can’t trust yourself to walk around on your own—at least not yet. But today, Mark asked if you could meet Kevin first because his girlfriend had something for him from Canada.

“Hyungseo!” You hear someone call, making you look up from your phone to see Kevin walking towards you. He stops and turns around, a girl you’ve seen around the college of social sciences once or twice running towards him.

“Don’t forget to bring the laminated cards we need for Friday!” the lady shouts. Kevin gives her a thumbs up and turns back to you.

“Y/N, right?” he asks in English. You nod. He offers a hand. “I’m sorry we haven’t met personally yet. But I’m Kevin.”

“She called you Hyungseo, though,” you trail off, accepting the handshake anyway. “I’ve seen your pictures from Giselle’s phone, so I knew it was you.”

He laughs. “Hyungseo’s my Korean name. You should’ve packed her with you.”

You reach for your bag and hand him the box that’s been sitting in your backpack all day. “Here,” you say. “No plans on visiting sometime soon?”

Kevin sighs. “I wish I could,” he answers. “It’s not as easy as we thought.”

“You guys sound okay though,” you comment. “I mean, Giselle always sounds so happy when she talks about you back home.”

This makes Kevin smile. “Oh, she does?”

“Why would she think of getting you a gift all the way from home if she’s not?” you ask, biting your tongue as soon as the words come out. “Sorry, I shouldn’t ask.”

“Let’s talk about this over some soju when you find a dude you want to spend the rest of your life with here,” he jokes. “Thanks for bringing this. You and Mark have been so busy; he’s been declining all my invitations to hangout.”

You sigh, “Yeah. It’s only the first week and there are lot of things we had to do. I’ll ask him if we can hang out on the weekend?”

Kevin agrees and hands his phone to you, asking to put your number so he could call you. You do and tell him you’re grateful you could talk to someone in English aside from Mark and bid him goodbye when he leaves. You shoot Mark a text, telling him you’ll be waiting for him and that Kevin’s dropped by to get his gift from Giselle.

Hence, you wait outside, busying yourself with your phone, trying to avoid any interaction as much as you can, and you don’t notice Donghyuck standing beside you until he taps your shoulder and gives you a warm smile.

“Mark is running late,” he says slowly. “Let’s go to Arcade together.”

You smile at Donghyuck’s attempt to pronounce Arcade how you would and nod at him. He leads the way out of the building, his backpack on one shoulder, and asks you how your classes are so far.

“It’s okay,” you answer because it’s all you can think of. “Thank God my professor in Psychology speaks English.”

Donghyuck hums. “It must be difficult for you.”

“It is,” you confess.

Among everyone you have met so far, Donghyuck gives you the feeling of comfort; you’re not exactly the most outgoing person nor the least—you were in between. You were okay with that. And you were okay that Donghyuck is okay with that, too. He doesn’t push you to speak more (probably because he knows you most likely do not know how to say whatever you had in mind), but can be very persuasive when there’s a hint that you’re relaxed.

Lee Donghyuck is bold and charming and amiable like nobody you’ve ever known. Normally, or at least with how you’re used to, people are a little more reserved around people they just met. And culturally speaking, you didn’t expect Donghyuck to be so forward and already so comfortable hanging out with you, what more with having conversations like this.

“Don’t worry, though,” he assures. “You’ll be fine. You’re here for about six months, anyway. I promise it’ll be the best six months of your college years.”

He’s also bright like this—optimistic and kind and assuring. You’re glad Mark is friends with people like him, with Donghyuck.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you try to say, a phrase Mark taught you the other night. “Did I say that right?”

Donghyuck giggles, stopping and reaching up to ruffle your hair. “You’re absolutely adorable.”

“That, I am,” you joke back, more comfortable around him now.

“I promise,” he says. “It’ll be so good; you wouldn’t want to go back to Canada.”

한국말 잘 못해요 (hangugmal jal moshaeyo) – I don’t speak Korean well | 죽을래 (jug-eullae) – Do you want to die?

Donghyuck turns out to be a better teacher than Lee Minho and Mark Lee combined. He gifts you a small, pocket-friendly notebook, asking you to keep it for the rest of your stay, notably commenting that the material’s size will allow you to bring it everywhere you go. Hence, the tiny, brown faux leather notebook is safely tucked between your necessities inside your bag.

The first sentence he teaches you turns out to be the most essential: I don’t speak Korean well.

Donghyuck takes you to a café called 7 Days, an entirely different vibe compared to Arcade. You don’t question Donghyuck when he puts an arm on your shoulder as you walk together inside the café, but he asks you right away when he must have felt you stiffen from the touch: “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” you answer quietly.

Donghyuck smiles warmly at you. “Here, have a look around and I’ll get you something to drink before we decide what we want to eat. I have the perfect drink for you!”

He goes before you could say anything. You look and realize that the café is not so bad. Its aesthetic is the complete opposite of what Arcade’s going for—cozy, serene, almost like a good place to study or sleep in, whatever you need to survive the day—and the Biscoff latte is bomb, you don’t think you can drink latte differently now.

Conversations with Donghyuck could, well, unfortunately, go only where your limit is. He’s fun and likes to tell a lot of stories, but it’s always interrupted with you asking what a word means and him pulling up his phone and have his translation app say it for you. He makes jokes that you regrettably do not understand, but Donghyuck doesn’t take it to the heart and only says: “By the end of the term, you’ll be saying these jokes to Mark Lee.”

Donghyuck excuses himself to go to the toilet about an hour later and allows you a few minutes by yourself, which you happily spend taking pictures of the interior of the café. You sigh when you realize you didn’t take a picture of the Biscoff latte when it was full and pretty. Someone taps you on the shoulder, and it could only be Donghyuck, so you turn with a smile.

“I forgot to take a picture of the drink—Oh.” It’s not Donghyuck. “I’m sorry, how can I help you?” you ask politely.

The man towers over you and he smiles warmly. Your cheeks flush when he does, because you probably mispronounce each syllable from that sentence. “I’m Sanha.”

You bow courteously, still have 0 idea why the man is talking to you.

“I don’t see you around often,” he says. “And I’m here, like, almost all the time unless I have a class. My dad owns the place. How do you like it so far?”

“It’s… okay,” you say. Sanha chuckles, and your face is hot you probably look like a red potato now. “I mean, not just okay, I just can’t find the words to—”

He takes Donghyuck’s seat. “I can teach you,” he offers. “We can meet up here, and—”

Donghyuck calls your name, voice firm and monotonous like never before. “It’s getting late. Mark texted me to take you home early because Chenle’s making dinner at your place.”

You look at Sanha apologetically, still unable to reply properly so you only say, “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck doesn’t give you the chance to say anything more because he’s already helping you out of your seat, turning you around so you could start walking towards the door, pushing you until you’re out of the café.

You hear him sigh as you walk away from the café, arm around your shoulder like how you entered the place.

“Y/N, my sweet pea,” he softly says. “Please don’t to talk strangers.”

You shrug, “It’s not like I could just ignore him when he was already taking you space.”

He scoffs. “When strangers start talking to you and being all brave and upfront, you tell them: I don’t speak Korean well. Then just start hitting them with English words and exaggerate your accent. That’s how Mark Lee tries to avoid conversations with girls sometimes because he’s a loser and women make him nervous.”

“I don’t speak Korean well,” you repeat, slowly pronouncing each syllable.

“Where’s the notebook I asked you to bring everywhere?” Donghyuck asks. “Write that down.”

You nod and tell him you’d do it later. Donghyuck leads the way towards the stop just in time for the bus that’s about to leave. You and him hop in, taking the seats in the back, giggling when Donghyuck almost topples over as soon as the bus starts to move. He lets you sit by the window and starts telling you about how his sister always fights him to get the window seat and he’s never won so he naturally just gives people the said seat.

You’re nearby the next stop when you ask him: “Donghyuck, what if I tell people I don’t speak Korean well and they wouldn’t stop bothering me?”

Donghyuck looks nice in his brown, fluffy jacket, face bare, his eyeglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks even nice whenever he smiles like this.

“Y/N, do you know how cute you are?” An answer you don’t expect. “You’re so cute when you ask questions like this. I want to put you in my pocket.”

“Donghyuck,” you sigh, expecting a serious answer.

He reaches up to pat your head. “You won’t have to worry because we won’t let you be on your own unless you ask us to stay away. Especially me. Not me. I’ll make sure to take care of you and Mark while the two of you are here.”

You nod, still not satisfied with the answer. The Sanha situation awhile ago makes you realize how helpless you’d be if you weren’t with Mark or any of his friends. Donghyuck probably notices your dissatisfaction when he feels like you’re sulking, which you definitely are, because he chuckles and pokes your cheek to get your attention again.

“If it makes you feel better,” he says. “You could always ask them if they want to die.”

“That’s mean!” you gasp.

“Or tell them to fuck off,” he shrugs.

“Donghyuck!”

“What?” he asks. “It’s not like I don’t hear you and Mark say ‘fuck you’ to each other every day.”

You laugh at that. “Saying it in Korean hits different.”

“Right!” Donghyuck agrees. “I’ve been telling people saying fuck you in Korean has more impact than in any other language. I can say the word fuck every day.”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” you joke.

Donghyuck coos. “Oh, I’m so proud of you. You’re cracking jokes now.”

The bus halts at your stop, and Donghyuck helps you up by taking your hand the way he’s helping you learn the language. It’s only when you’ve reached the street to the apartment you share with Mark that you realized you’ve been holding hands all the way from the bus stop.

저 알러지 있어요 (jeo alleoji iss-eoyo) – I’m allergic

“Do you not understand what you just did, Mark Lee?” you ask in disbelief.

It’s only a month into your stay in Seoul, and Mark does the dumbest thing ever. Mark Lee comes home with a pet cat.

There were three rules for the spring semester, three very specific and very easy rules: one, to always text each other’s location as soon as you step foot outside of the apartment (which you and him are constantly compliant about; you love Mark Lee for that); two, to never skip a class unless you’re sick (you’re only here until July; Mark decided he’s not wasting a single day in Seoul, even if it means going to classes on time and by schedule without fail); and lastly, don’t keep things you won’t be able to take back home.

Mark had said that these rules are specifically for you because rule number one ensures your safety, rule number ensures you get the real Korean education experience, and rule number three apparently ensures you’re not leaving anything important at the airport when you leave—which now you think is bullshit. The rules are more for him than you, but you love Mark Lee, and it’s not like the cat isn’t cute.

“But, Y/N,” Mark pouts. “She kept on staring at me with these eyes when Renjun was busy comparing brands of dog treats. It was like her eyes were calling me, asking me to take her home!”

The calico cat is a baby; Mark said it’s not even five months old yet. It’s the last from seven siblings, the last one to be adopted (and you think Mark is only telling you this to convince you this is a good idea. She jumps out from Mark’s lap and goes to you, staring at you first before settling herself on your lap.

“She loves you already!” Mark comments.

You sigh. “Mark. You know we can’t take her home, right? We’re leaving in like, five months.”

“Which means I have five months to convince our friends to adopt her while I’m in Canada!” he answers enthusiastically, his eyes almost sparkling with the way he’s talking. “I couldn’t just leave her there. My heart wouldn’t allow me to leave without her!”

“Fine,” you give up. “Don’t cry on me on the plane back home when we leave her.”

Mark chuckles. “I think I should be more worried about you crying on the plane back home.”

Someone knocks on your door before you can ask what he means by that. It’s Mark who stands and welcome the person, and of course, it’s Donghyuck.

It’s Saturday. Saturday means Donghyuck comes and hangs out at your place because he no longer has to work in the university library on the weekends. He’d quit, saying his big mouth isn’t fit for the library, and had asked the school administration to reassign him to another facility. Part of his scholarship is to work at least 16 hours a week in one of the university’s facilities. He’s paid, of course, but Donghyuck says he’s not paid enough to keep his mouth shut for 16 hours a week. The admin asked for a week to figure out where he’d be assigned next, so he had this entire weekend all to himself, which, to how it looks like now, he’d decided to spend with you and Mark.

Mark lets Donghyuck in. The latter’s smile falters when he sees you; he only gives you a curt nod. And it’s not like you’re expecting Donghyuck to cuddle you on the couch, alright? It’s just that, you’ve known each other for a month now, and have hung out together a handful of times—just the two of you—and he called you yesterday telling you he’d come hangout with you and Mark for the weekend, even said something about teaching you to play Apex if you have the energy for it. And it’s not like he’s obligated to come sit beside you as soon as he enters your apartment, but you’re confused when he sits on the single couch far away from you, stance uncomfortable and his face looking like he’d rather be elsewhere.

Mark’s voice fades away when he asks Donghyuck what their plans are, to which Donghyuck answers: “I’m actually just here to say hi. I’m leaving in a bit.”

“No way,” Mark protests.

“Or we could go out?” Donghyuck offers.

“Uh-uh,” Mark refuses. “Y/N has been excited all morning to see you. You’re not going to disappoint her today.”

“I didn’t say anything—” You try to say, but couldn’t translate what you want to say quick enough. “Donghyuck obviously doesn’t want to be here.”

Over the course of a month living in Seoul, you and Donghyuck had grown closer more than anyone. It would be ridiculous to deny Donghyuck’s seemingly unceasing affection towards you, and in the same manner, it would be a lie if you’d say you’re not enjoying all the attention he’s been giving you. Above the flirty and friendly advances he makes (but never crossing the line), Donghyuck has grown to be a good friend. During the first couple of weeks, you would refer to him as Mark’s friend; it’s safe you say you’re friends with him now.

Donghyuck’s decided to pick you up from the college of Social Sciences, convincing Mark that his building is literally next to yours and that a ten-minute walk to Arcade with you is not going to hurt him—Mark’s been walking with you for many years anyway, he would mumble under his breath, close enough for you to hear but distant enough for you to understand what he truly means. Hence, with the growing friendship you have with him, you wonder what you had done this time.

“It’s not like that,” Donghyuck answers the question you had in mind, both hands raised in defense. You raise an eyebrow. “That.”

Donghyuck points at your lap, Mark’s unnamed cat sleeping soundly now. Oh.

“I’m allergic,” he explains. “I can’t be around one within like a five-meter radius otherwise, I would, like, you know, die.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Mark comments. “Are you really?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck confirms. “The allergens are getting to me. My throat is starting to close up. I have to leave now.”

This startles you and Mark, the latter quickly taking the calico cat from your lap and quickly taking it to his room. You reckon the cat’s allergens are all over you so you sit as far away as you can from Donghyuck.

“It’s fine,” he assures, but he already looks like he’s choking. “It’s not that serious. They usually just give me allergic rashes and kind of triggers my asthma. So, we’re good.”

“But you have a dog!” you remark. “You never told me you’re allergic to cats!”

He chuckles, “Well, you learn something every day.”

“There are some anti-histamine tablets from the cupboard,” you point out, still seated where you are. “I probably have allergens on my hands; please go get yourself one.”

Donghyuck does what he’s told, taking one and opening the fridge to get himself a bottle of water. You tell him you’re changing your clothes and ask him to wait up, offering to go out and have a meal with him instead.

Mark knocks on your door a couple of minutes later, finding you dressed up, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “Donghyuck said he’d wait outside. You look nice.”

“I know I look nice,” you say as you go back to your vanity to throw whatever you’d need for the day in your small dumpling bag, including a box of Benadryl. “You’re not coming with us because you have cat all over you.”

Mark chuckles, leaning against the doorframe. “Donghyuck literally told me the same thing. He’s growing on you,”

You only hum in response, checking your bag for the last time before walking towards the door where Mark Lee is still leaning on, the same smirk playing on his lips still plastered.

“What?” you ask.

Mark doesn’t say anything, but he raises and shows you his right hand, sticking three fingers up.

먹었습니다 (meog-eossseubnida) - The meal was good.

Seoul National University’s library is as quiet as it can be; it’s almost scary how the only sounds you’d only hear are the faint sounds of pages being flipped and pens gliding on notepads, and the eerie echoes of the tension coming from students who are either cramming on an assignment or jumping from one subject to another in hopes of getting everything they read retained in their head.

Donghyuck used to tell you this is the exact reason why he didn’t like working at the library. It’s too quiet but too loud at the same time. You chuckle at the memory of him telling you anecdotes of his short-lived employment in the library and wonder how different it is being the soccer team’s laundry guy. He’s probably pouting all the way from the beginning of his shift until the end.

“Here,” Jung Sungchan disrupts your thoughts, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. “I found these, maybe it could help bridge the gap we’re struggling on.”

You and Sungchan are paired up for a two-week long assignment for one of your major subjects. The objective was to present a summarized and substantial report on the welfare state, and you think Sungchan must have tripped on all the bad luck in his life to have been paired up with someone who couldn’t speak Korean that well, because, well, the books they had are mostly in Korean. If speaking and understanding Korean is a struggle for you, reading the damn language is hell.

“This is a good thing,” Sungchan assures. “There are resources online that are mostly in English. We can combine everything we find and construct the report from there!”

You nod and hand over the book you’re reading before he arrived, explaining that you found a chapter that could be very helpful. The boy fires up his laptop and starts accessing the website your professor had recommended you to use.

Sat side by side, you and Sungchan study in silence, except for when he asks you to read an article for him and explain what it means. The session lasts for hours, thank God you and him didn’t have classes for the rest of the day, and within those hours of studying with Sungchan, you can’t help but notice the looks you were getting anytime someone passes by the two of you.

It’s no secret that Jung Sungchan is probably one of the most attractive men in the university. He’s tall and has skin that’s as clear as a day in summer, smile that could swoon a lot of people off their feet, broad shoulders that’s probably carrying the entire hockey team for this year’s season—and yes, it doesn’t help the fact that Jung Sungchan is the most popular jock at the moment, apparently for hard carrying the team to win last year’s trophy, ending Seoul National University’s 10-year drought and awakening the school’s love for sports back. And you think it’s quite unfair that people like him exist. Because you would expect that he’s an asshole who doesn’t care about his grades because he’s essentially SNU’s hero at the moment, but he’s not. Jung Sungchan, you learn, takes his degree in Social Sciences very seriously.

And it’s evident with the way his eyebrows are furrowed as he reads the tenth book he found from the shelves.

“I think this part makes more sense now,” he points out, leaning closer so he could show you the article he’s reading. “In residual regimes, welfare-seeking units are primarily family and market. On the other hand, in the institutional welfare regime, the function of providing welfare belongs directly to the state.”

“But countries with different social conditions and lifestyles should have differed in terms of welfare states,” you argue. “We have to consider that the development of industrialization and production growth could be very different from one country to another.”

Sungchan hums. “Good point. Perhaps we can find more of that from Wilensky and Lebaux’s work. Do you have the book over there?”

You nod and hand him the book. Just as Sungchan flips the book open, Mark occupies the seat across you.

“We’ve been calling you,” Mark whispers to you, then turning to look at Sungchan. “Hey, man. Mark. Y/N’s best friend.”

Sungchan gives him a polite nod before going back to the book. You raise an eyebrow at Mark and slip your phone from the pocket of your backpack and find all the missed calls from him, Renjun, and Donghyuck.

��My phone’s been on silent for like, I don’t know, four hours,” you tell him, slipping your phone back to your back. “And I texted you I’d be at the library.”

“Yeah, like four hours ago,” he answers. “I didn’t think you’d really stay here for four hours. Anyway—” Mark pulls out a lunch bag and slides it across the table. “Donghyuck made this for you. He figured you’d be hungry.”

It’s only then that it hit you. The last meal you had was that bagel you had for breakfast on the way to school, which you had seven or eight hours ago.

“My sweet Donghyuckie,” you coo, thankful for his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Mark. Sungchan and I will share because we’ll be here until we finish at least the structure of the report.”

“It’s getting late though,” Mark points out.

Sungchan clears his throat. “I can drive you home.”

“Great!” Mark exclaims, which earns him multiple shushes from the other students studying. “Sorry. Great!” he says again, in a whisper this time.

Mark bids goodbye to you and offers a handshake to Sungchan, telling him he’ll see him often in the next two weeks or for as long as you and him are paired-up on your major subjects. Sungchan gives him one last assurance you’ll be home safe.

You ask Sungchan to take a break and open the lunch bag. Inside it are two bento boxes full of food, too much for one person, and you don’t take another minute to wait. Sungchan must have been hungry too, because he doesn’t refuse when you offer the other half of your meal to him.

You’re not really sure how much longer you and Sungchan stay in the library, but as soon as you’ve finalized the structure of the report and have agreed on assigned topics, he suggests that you and him go home and meet up again on Friday so you can start assembling the presentation. And as promised, Sungchan drives you home, glad when he realized your apartment is only ten minutes away from his.

It’s already ten in the evening when you reach home. Mark’s probably already sleeping, you think when you don’t see any light peaking from smallest of the small space between his door and the floor. It’s late anyway, and you don’t really have much energy to tell him about your day like you always do. In fact, you don’t even have the energy to shower anymore, and because you don’t like sleeping on your bed with your outside clothes, you opt to sleep on the couch tonight.

The last thing you do is shoot Donghyuck a text message: “The meal was good.”

삼각관계 (sam-gak-kwan-gae) – love triangle

Jung Sungchan invites you watch to one of his preliminary games the day after you completed the report with him. Mark teasingly tells you that you have boys wrapped around your finger not even two months living in Seoul. You deny the claims, of course, because Sungchan is nothing but a good friend and you don’t see him as anything more.

Donghyuck is the first person you think of when Sungchan gives you two spare tickets for the game, and you like to think that it’s only because you don’t want Mark teasing you and accusing you of romance all afternoon, and also because Donghyuck has a car and Mark is a shit navigator so you can’t trust him to commute with you from the university to the indoor arena where the game is being held.

SNU’s team wins, of course, and you proudly cheer for Sungchan, which earns you a side eye from Donghyuck. You shrug it off and pretend that you didn’t see.

“Can we go now?” Donghyuck asks, bored, when people start leaving the arena.

You shake your head. “Sungchan asked me to wait for him after the game.”

“You know that barbecue place I told you we’d go to?” Donghyuck reminds. “We can go there—“

Your phone rings. It’s Sungchan. Donghyuck sighs.

“Congratulations, nerd!” is the first thing you tell him. Sungchan thanks you, laughing from the other end of the call, and apologizes that he can no longer meet you because the team’s been hogging him the second they won the round.

“It’s fine,” you assure. “I’m with Donghyuck, anyway. I’ll see you at school?”

“No, no,” Sungchan answers. “There’s a small celebration party at Shotaro’s house. It’s a twenty to thirty-minute drive from your apartment. I’ll send you the location. Go there.”

Sungchan hangs up, and not even a second later, you receive a text from him, a location pinned on the message. You show the message and pout at Donghyuck, and he’s looking at you all bored, rolling his eyes, before nodding and taking your hand so you and him could leave the arena.

The drive to the place takes about an hour from the arena, and you spend it singing along to Michael Jackson’s songs.

“You have a really nice voice,” you comment. Donghyuck laughs.

“Baby,” he says. “I wouldn’t be pursuing a career in music if I had a shitty voice.”

The nickname gives you a flush, and you could only hope Donghyuck wouldn’t notice.

Almost two months into meeting Lee Donghyuck, you find yourself unable to keep your heartbeat down whenever he does things like this—calling you nicknames, randomly showing up in places where you are just to say hi, holding your hand, texting and calling you every day, spending his weekends and times off with you, and doing simple and domestic things for you—and your heart tells you it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with a whirlwind romance in Seoul. Donghyuck doesn’t ever hesitate, and the fact that you’re holding back means you really like him. But the rational part of you says it’s not really a good idea to be in a situationship with someone who will most likely forget you as soon as you go back to Canada, and you can’t afford a heartache from miles away. Besides, Donghyuck probably isn’t that serious with whatever that’s going on.

Rumors say (by rumors, you mean Chenle and Jisung) that Donghyuck is the type of guy who dates one girl after another. Because he’s bold and charming and amiable and likes to expand his choices, and he finds that there’s nothing wrong with dating as long as he doesn’t date multiple women at the same time. You haven’t really seen him out on a date since you had met him. Rumor (Chenle) says that he’s been single since fall of last year and had committed to stay single this year because of the messy breakup and also because he’s on his last year of college, he’d need to focus on stepping up his game if he wants entertainment companies to fight over him as soon as he starts looking for agencies after graduation. Another rumor (Jisung) says he’s rejected many women who have tried to sleep with him since news broke that Lee Donghyuck is newly single. The rumor says he’s as popular as Jung Sungchan when it comes to women, which, if you’re being honest, gives you some kind of pedestal to walk hand-in-hand with him in the university grounds. You realize now that you get the same look from women when you’re with Donghyuck like the stares you got whenever you and Sungchan are stuck in the library for hours of studying.

The only difference is that, well, you like that people stare at you with a hint of jealousy whenever you’re with Donghyuck.

“Why haven’t you invited me to your gigs?” you ask before you could even think about it. “Sungchan’s only been friends with me for like three weeks and he already got me tickets to his game. You, on the other hand…”

The car halts to a slow stop, Donghyuck’s phone telling you that you’ve arrived at your location. Donghyuck doesn’t switch off the engine though. He chuckles licking his lips, then poking his tongue on his cheeks, fucking with your heart and hormones in the process. He keeps his hand on the steering wheel and turns to look at you, eyes hazed in attraction like he’s pulling you in.

“Baby,” he says in a whisper almost. “I don’t like love triangles.”

“Love… triangles?” you repeat.

“Love triangles,” he says in English. “I fucking hate it. And we’re not about to go through that trope in our love story here. So, let me make it clear before we go inside and before you even think about sticking to Sungchan all night.”

You gulp.

“There’s no Sungchan in the equation,” he states like a command and you find yourself nodding, agreeing. “It’s only you and me. Tonight, there will be a lot of people and none of them will be in the equation. Tonight, you’re sticking with me and we’ll talk about this tomorrow. Have fun with me and see if you want to take this to another level, because if you ask me, I’ve been dying to fucking kiss you since the semester began.”

This territory is new, and this Donghyuck is new, too. He’s always been affectionate and he’s never held back, but this new level of honesty is astonishing. Damn attractive if you’re being honest.

“Come here,” he says, ridding himself from his seatbelt. You do the same, leaning closer to him. Donghyuck holds your cheeks with both hands, smiling down at you before leaning in to kiss your forehead. “I’m not giving you mixed signals. This is me giving you a clear, direct sign that I like you and I like what we have, but I’d love to take another step. I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t really want someone to enter the equation while I’m trying to woo you.”

You giggle. “You already successfully wooed the romance out of me the second you started holding my hand, Lee Donghyuck. And no, there won’t be love triangles.”

Donghyuck’s honesty fires up some courage in you, and you like the feeling of watching him falter when you lean in, hand on the back of his neck, and kiss him for the first time. The man melts in your kiss and in your touch, but doesn’t wait for another heartbeat to kiss you back. And despite of the bottled-up and eagerness from both sides, the first kiss is soft the first time, featherlike and sweet. His lips are even softer than they look and his lips already look plump as it is, and when Donghyuck licks your lips and invites himself in, God, he makes sure you taste the sweetness from his mouth and in a minute you’re addicted and you kiss and kiss and kiss, lips locking, tongue gliding, breaths gasping.

It’s him who pulls away, leaving you with dazed eyes wanting, wanting, wanting more.

Donghyuck gives you one last kiss on the forehead. “Let’s go.”

이렇게? (ireoke) – Like this?

You don’t end up seeing Sungchan at all in the party, and you don’t mind because Donghyuck keeps you glued to his side. The party is fun, but you and Donghyuck decide not to drink a single drop of alcohol. To him, it’s because he has to drive. To you, it’s because you want to be entirely sober to remember whatever happens tonight.

Donghyuck makes out with you in the corner of the living room where people are crumpled, and you like that he doesn’t care that people see. He holds you by the waist and on your neck, and you get it now. You get why women are lining up to sleep with Donghyuck, because if he can kiss like this, what else can he do with his mouth?

You shoot a message to Sungchan with a selfie of you and Donghyuck, thanking him for inviting you to the party and telling him you’ll see him on your next class together (Donghyucks suggests you send Sungchan a picture of you and him making out.) and prompt to leave. Donghyuck says goodbye to a few people he knew, holding you by the waist all the way from the house to where his car is parked.

Donghyuck drives you to his apartment and tells you he’s told Mark you’d be sleeping at his place tonight. The drive itself was intense enough and Donghyuck’s doing an amazing job keeping his cool while you’re practically sweating from the passenger’s seat.

You don’t even get a good look at his apartment when you arrive, because Donghyuck’s already kissing you as he rids himself of his jacket. Donghyuck doesn’t kiss you softly this time; he kisses you like he’s leaving a mark on your mouth, almost like he wants to bruise his presence inside you. He helps you get slip out of your jacket, pulling away quickly to kick his shoes off, before carrying you bridal style and bringing you to his room, kicking the door behind.

Despite the roughness of his kisses, he puts you to bed gently, ridding himself of his shirt and kneeling on the floor so he could help you out of your socks. He leans up once he’s done, one hand on your jaw to pull you down for another kiss, the other caressing your thigh.

“Please tell me this is okay,” he whispers. You nod. “I need your words, baby.”

“Yes, Donghyuck,” you answer, breathless when he starts kissing your neck. “This is okay. Please touch me.”

Donghyuck pushes you a little so half of your body is lying on his bed, your feet flat on his carpeted floor, tugging the loops of your jeans, urging you to lift your hips so he can rid you out of the material. He pulls you back up to take your shirt off from your torso, then he’s helping you back up from the edge of the bed towards the headboard as he crawls on top of you.

“Donghyuck,” you gasp when he goes back to kissing you. You realize that Donghyuck like kissing with the way he’s using his mouth to imprint his presence in you, his tongue licking everywhere it can reach inside your mouth, and he tastes like mint and the soda he had at the party, and he’s everything that you want. “Touch me, please.”

“Like this?” Donghyuck reaches down to rub your clit through the material of your underwear. He rubs slow, teasingly, and kisses you on the mouth when you groan. He dips his head lower and kisses your neck; he bites and nips and sucks and you’re sure it’s leaving a mark you’d have to conceal the next day. “Want me to touch you like this, baby?”

A moan elicits from your throat, and Donghyuck doesn’t waste any more time. He slips his warm hand between your skin and your underwear, really touching you, rubbing your clit gently, his digits dragging itself on your slit slowly, gathering your wetness then going back to rub your clit again, more roughly with the pool of wetness his fingers have now.

“Like this?” he asks again, pushing a finger inside when he finds your hole, urging another moan from your lips.

“Oh my God, Donghyuck,” you gasp when he fingers you gently, your wetness making a sound when he adds another finger. Donghyuck takes his time, biting his lips as he watches you writhe underneath his touch.

“Pull your bra down,” he breathes out, and you do. When your breasts are out on the open, Donghyuck doesn’t waste time and locks lips with your nipple, sucking and licking as he fingers the sanity out of you. He alternates from fingering you with two digits and rubbing you using his thumb, and you’re all putty and messy under him, and you want more, more, more, more.

“Baby, please fuck me,” you beg. “Please, Donghyuck. Please fuck me”

Donghyuck hushes you. “I will, baby. I’ll fuck you so well, you’ll come running back to me tomorrow and the day after, and the day after.”

But he doesn’t. He pulls his fingers out, hold you by your jaw so you could lock eyes while he licks the proof of your attraction to him from his fingers, sucking and showing you just how well he could use his tongue. He doesn’t fuck you get but he rids you of the last garments from your body and does the fucking impossible.

Donghyuck eats you out like it’s the last meal he’ll ever have. He swirls his tongue on your clit as he pushes his digits back in your hole, fingering you like it’s all he’s ever wanted, and he’s got you chanting his name like a prayer when his tongue laps your sex, even more when he replaces his fingers with his tongue. You’re writhing and screaming and Donghyuck’s holding your legs apart while he pleasures you with his mouth and hands.

You don’t want to cum yet, but Donghyuck’s so, so good, and it looks like he’s not stopping anytime soon. He tongues you back to your clit and fingers you with three digits, fast and rough.

“Donghyuck, I’m going to—” You see white and stars and you stay still when Donghyuck continues fingering you, moving all three fingers in an upward motion, reaching where you want him the most, mouth sucking your clit as you ride the first orgasm you’ve had in months.

Donghyuck lets you have your moment when it’s done, taking the time to lick the slick wetness from his fingers down to his wrist, kneeling between your legs. You push yourself up so that you’re sitting with your legs wide open, your palms flat on his sheets, head tilted for a kiss. Donghyuck leans over and kisses you again, and you never thought you’d like tasting yourself in his tongue. You guess everything tastes sweeter when it’s in Donghyuck’s mouth.

“Off, please,” you murmur, pulling the loops from his jeans. Donghyuck obeys, removing all pieces of clothing until he’s naked.

You marvel at his beauty, licking your lips when you finally see him bare and clean. His golden skin looks like honey and you want to kiss the fuck out of his collarbones and leave your mark for everyone to see. Your eyes travel from his chest down to the trail from his tummy down to his erect cock. He’s hard and red and you salivate from how big he looks and feel yourself getting even more wet at the thought of him fucking you. Before you know it, you’re reaching out, moving so you could kneel, and taking his hardness in your hand. Donghyuck moans for the first time tonight, and you plan to elicit that sound from him all night.

Stroking him slowly, you feel a rush of satisfaction when Donghyuck pants your name. “Oh my God,” he moans when you bend over, a palm flat on his sheets, your other hand stroking him as you take him to your mouth. He gathers your hair and watches you from above, and you purposely stick your ass up higher when you feel him twitch as you take more of his cock into your mouth. When you’re about halfway, you stroke the rest of what you can’t take and start sucking and licking, and Donghyuck makes the absolute best sound ever. You like his voice when he sings, but you don’t think anything could compare with how he’s whining your name as you suck his dick thoroughly, licking and jerking off whatever your mouth couldn’t fit. A part of you wants to ask Donghyuck to fuck your mouth, bruise your throat with his dick and cum straight down your fucking stomach if he wants to, but that could be arranged next time. This time, with his dick hard and wet from your mouth, you want him to fuck you.

You suck him one last time before you pull away, a string of your saliva following when you look up at Donghyuck. “Now, will you fuck me?”

Donghyuck looks fucked out, eyes dazed with lust, and you want nothing more than for him to ruin you. And Donghyuck doesn’t need to be asked twice.

He crawls back up until you’re lying on your back, legs wide open for him, and kneels between your legs. “Ready and sure?” he asks for the last time, stroking himself.

“Pull out when you cum,” is all you say and Donghyuck goes for it. He gives you a kiss and rests one of his forearms beside your arm, massaging the head of his cock on your opening until he’s stretching you out.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck groans when he feels your tightness. “God damn, Y/N, when was the last time you got fucked?”

“I—I can’t remember,” you say. “None of them were worth remembering.”

“And me?” Donghyuck asks as he pushes deeper until he’s fully stretched you and his pelvis is leaning against your clit. “Will you remember me?”

“Ask me next time,” you breathe out. “I think you’ll have to fuck me every day so I can remember.”

Donghyuck gives you some time, kissing you softly. “When was the last time you fucked anyone?” you ask in return.

“I can’t remember,” he parrots. “None of them were worth remembering. All I know is that this is the first time I’m feeling someone raw.” Then he bottoms out, gives you only half a second before he’s thrusting back and out and back and out and back and out, slowly but surely fucking you well.

Donghyuck fucks you like he means it. His hips snap roughly but makes sure you feel all of him before he thrusts out and he’s everywhere. His tongue is in your mouth, then on your neck, his free hand is caressing one of your breasts, playing with your nipples, and he’s making you feel so, so good and you’re not sure how you go back from here. You’re not sure how you could go on with life knowing how well Donghyuck can fuck you. He’s got you squirming and reaching your second orgasm only minutes into fucking the life out of you.

When you’re close, Donghyuck pushes himself up so that he’s kneeling again, and lifts both your legs, resting your calves on either side of his shoulders, hugging your legs so he can fuck you deeper in this angle. The precision makes you chant his name over and over again and he takes one of his hands down to rub your clit. You try your best to hold back from cumming because the way he’s fucking you now feels so damn good that you want it to last for a long time. He thrusts in and out quickly, his balls hitting the bottom of your ass again and again.

“Come for me, baby,” he says. “Let go.”

So, you do, and Donghyuck keeps on fucking you through it. Donghyuck lets you finish, before he’s pushing the back of your knees down so your thighs are pressed up against your stomach, chasing his own orgasm, and fucks you hard, without rhythm, until he is moaning your name like praise and he’s pulling out so he could release on your stomach. You reach up to caress his cheek as you watch him in awe as he finishes, his face contorted in pleasure, lips wet and eyes closed.

When it’s done, Donghyuck kisses you on the forehead and helps you clean up. He leaves to go to the bathroom for a minute to grab a warm, wet towel, cleaning your stomach, and carries you back to the bathroom with him. The shower is warm, and Donghyuck is gentle and sweet when he cleans you up, giving you kisses when he pats you dry once he’s gotten rid of the shampoo and body wash from your hair and skin. Donghyuck tells you there’s a spare toothbrush on behind the mirror and washes himself as you brush your teeth, naked but warm.

Donghyuck tells you to that the right side of his closet is where you can find the clothes he uses at home and you follow as he finishes cleaning himself up. You take the liberty to take one of his shirts that are still too big for you despite Donghyuck’s frame and slip a pair of cotton shorts.

Donghyuck finds you half-asleep when he’s done showering; he sleeps shirtless, you reckon, because he crawls to bed only in sweatpants. He cuddles you from behind, kissing the clothed shoulder, and the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is him humming a song your mind can’t recognize and a promise that you’ll talk about this the next day.

You wake up to the smell of Spam, an empty space beside yours, and the sound of Donghyuck singing a song from BOL4, which you learned is one of his favorite musicians.

Donghyuck smiles warmly at you when you find him in the kitchen, just about to finish pan-frying the last piece of sliced luncheon meat. He’s still shirtless, but is wearing a cute pink apron, and he gives you a quick kiss on the lips like it’s the most natural thing ever. The second his lips pull away from yours, you reach up and touch where he kissed, lips tingling—in disbelief that what happened last night is real.

“Good morning,” he hums. “Just in time for breakfast.”

“Donghyuck,” you trail off. “Can we talk first?”

Donghyuck nods, offering that you sit on the high stool across the small kitchen island. He sits next to you, turning the seat so that you’re face to face, knees touching. “What do we want to do?” he asks.

“You know I’m leaving in like, four months, right?” you start.

Donghyuck whistles. “We just started and you’re already breaking up with me?”

“No, no,” you say, exhaling. “This… this. I like. You. I like.”

“Baby, construct your sentences properly,” he laughs.

“I like you,” you confess. “And I like this. I like holding your hands. And kissing you. And what we did last night. I’m just worried because—”

“Because you’re leaving,” he finishes for you. “I know, but I also like you a lot. More than you probably think. And I don’t want to miss my chance getting to know you more just because you’re leaving in a few months. I don’t know what you want, but here’s what I want, you let me know if it works for you, if not, then I’ll still be a friend. Who might cry for two weeks straight if you reject me.”

You laugh but urge him to continue.

“I want to date you, and get to know you even more. Your quirks, the things that make you angry, your comfort food, the movies that give you the ick,” he continues. “Your family, how you were raised, if you like Marvel or DC more, what Hogwarts house you belong to, if you like pineapple in pizza or not, whether you pour milk or cereal first, if you ever kissed Mark Lee, if Mark Lee’s ever had a crush on you.”

“What does Mark have—”

“Shh,” he stops. “It’s my turn. Talk later. Anyway, I want this—” he gestures the space between you and him. “And I want you. I want to keep teaching you the language and I know what’s ahead of us is scary, and there’s only two things that could happen: this is going to be either the biggest heartbreak of my life or you’re going to be the greatest love of my life. It’s a fifty-fifty chance, Y/N. Let’s just say I’m willing to risk whatever if it means I have 50% the chances of having you as the greatest love of my life.”

Oh. You don’t realize you’re staring quietly until Donghyuck holds your hand.

“Now tell me,” he asks slowly. “What do you want?”

You don’t hesitate. “I want you, Lee Donghyuck.”

일어날 수 있는 최악의 상황은 무엇입니까? il-eonal su issneun choeag-ui sanghwang-eun mueos-ibnikka? What’s the worst that could happen?

It doesn’t come out as a surprise to anyone when you and Donghyuck arrive at Arcade holding hands, a shy smile playing on your lips, a proud one in Donghyuck’s. You were thankful that there were no teasing remarks coming from your friends—that they were taking this so well, like it’s normal. Like it’s meant to happen anyway. There’s a knowing smirk on Mark’s stupid face, but you love him and you can’t wait to tell him all about how you feel towards Donghyuck. “Okay, so my birthday falls on a weekend,” Jeno announces. “And I think it’s the best time to go to the amusement park. Will you have work then, Renjun-ah?”

“Most likely,” Renjun answers, mouth full of food as he chews on a bite of pizza. “But I can have Yerim cover for me. I’ll just return the favor if she needs me one day.”

“Sweet!” Jeno exclaims. “So, it’s decided then. We’ll go to the amusement park on my birthday.”

As you and Donghyuck play footsie under the table, Mark stands, turning to you. “I’m going to get another milkshake. Come with me?”

You nod, kicking Donghyuck one last time and standing to follow your best friend. Somehow, you feel bad for not saying anything about your growing feelings for Donghyuck, considering that Mark is your best friend in the entire universe and you’re his. If it were him, he would’ve told you the second he caught feelings to anyone. But Mark knows you’re not the kind to admit feelings like this as soon as it starts inflating in your chest; he knows you’re the type to hold it in until you can’t anymore. Having had terrible relationships in the past, Mark has always known that you’re the kind to be careful.

“I didn’t think you’d actually go for it,” Mark says as soon as you and him are out of earshot. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for you. I just didn’t expect this to happen so quickly.”

“Me neither,” you mumble under your breath. “Sorry for not saying anything.”

Mark chuckles. “You didn’t have to. I mean, we all kinda always known this would happen. I just couldn’t imagine how you and Donghyuck sealed it so quickly, like considering how shy and quiet you always were whenever he was around.”

“I was shy and quiet with everyone around,” you remark. “Donghyuck taught me all these slangs and now I can’t stop talking.”

The woman in the counter asks you what she can help you with when you reach her. Mark tells his order alongside some sides Renjun had asked him to get. He leans on the counter, turning back to you. “Anyway.”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re serious serious.” Mark clears his throat. “Like, I’ve known you for so long and you’ve always been hesitant to do shit. I’ve always been the spontaneous and reckless one between us, and you’re the careful one. The one who thinks everything through before deciding on it—this trip to Seoul included on the long list.”

“Your point is?” you ask, even though you know exactly where this is going.

Mark licks his lips before continuing: “What I’m saying is, you’ve never been this certain so quickly.”

That’s right. Not to be cliché or whatever, but this is normally how it goes for you. Relationships used to be difficult for you—from the pining to the confession to its climax to its end, until the bargaining and acceptance—and you’d never been the type to go through things so quickly and easily. With Donghyuck, you’d somehow done it backwards (and Mark doesn’t need to know that you slept with Donghyuck before you even sealed the damn relationship) but for some reason, you had forgotten how you’re supposed to act around people you like romantically. It scares the shit out of you, the connection between you and Donghyuck, but you’ve always been a firm believer that if it doesn’t scare you, it probably isn’t something worth doing. It feels like jumping from a cliff, to the bottom of the unknown, and it’s new, but it makes your heart pound like never before.

“I don’t want to get ahead and say something that’d make you change your mind somehow, because I also like you and Donghyuck together,” he explains when you only stare at him. “But, as your best friend, with the best intentions only, please don’t go breaking your heart before we leave, yeah?”

You nod, understanding and appreciating Mark’s sentiment. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Mark shrugs. “We won’t really know. Take care, yeah?”

You smile stepping closer to hug Mark. “I love you, you know that, right?” he asks. You nod, your face buried on his chest. “Good. I’ll beat Donghyuck’s ass if he hurts you in anyway.”

“I sure hope you do,” you reply, just in time for the staff to call Mark’s attention, the tray of his order ready for him.

Donghyuck is pouting when you return, asking why you and Mark took too long because the seat beside him is all cold now. You kiss him on the cheek and tell him Mark just told you he’s beating his ass if you’re hurt in anyway.

“Mark can’t hurt a fly,” Donghyuck remarks. “What makes you think he can hurt me, huh?”

Mark scoffs. “You’ll be the first.”

계절과 계절 사이 (gyejeolgwa gyejeol sai) – between seasons

When the seasons start to change—from the rainy, cold spring transition to a warm, sunny summer—you and Donghyuck change, too.

From the euphoric blooming of your relationship—the playful dates, the passionate moments in his bedroom (because ever since Mark adopted that cat, Donghyuck could never stay at your place for longer than an hour), the heart-warming feeling of seeing him waiting for your after your class—to the warm, comfortable attachment stage, you feel like you know Donghyuck in a deeper sense now.

The small notebook he’d given you at the beginning of the term is halfway full, its pages messily scribbled with phrase and sentences you had learned—likewise the memories those words carry—and soon enough you find yourself more comfortable with the language, and eventually with Seoul. You find yourself enjoying, and not in a way that makes you think you’d want to visit again soon.

The journey with Seoul was initially a play to learn the language and its beautiful culture: a detour. A diversion from your plans. A stop while you figure out what you want in life. Your last year in university is supposed to be the year you finally decide what to do next. Visiting Seoul was an opportunity for you to really get to know yourself beyond your comfort zone, to really challenge your capabilities, to learn beyond what your hometown had in store for you.

But these days do not feel like Seoul is a place to visit.

In a way, liberating albeit frightening, you find yourself thinking that perhaps Seoul is a place to build a home in. The home is built from arms that hold you on days when it’s extra cold, your nose red and hands frozen, and its shelter is made from Donghyuck’s warm smile and the assurance of him being there for you. And right now, while you sit closely together at the back of your friend’s car, their obnoxiously loud voices singing to some pop song along the radio, you feel it: home.

Jeno likes the phone case you had customized for him, and he gives you a big, bear hug as soon as he take a peek of what’s inside your present.

“I love you. I literally love you with all my being,” he dramatically says as he squishes you.

“That’s my girlfriend, you idiot,” Donghyuck complains, pulling Jeno’s arms away from you. With the way you three are seated at the back of Renjun’s car, you sitting in between them, it’s uncomfortable and Donghyuck insists on taking part of the little moment you’re having with Jeno.

Jeno whines, “Let me love her. This is the best gift ever!”

Donghyuck ends up puffing air out of his mouth, pouting and leaning back so Jeno could hug you. You’re laughing and Jeno whispers how easily they could make him sulk these days because you’re around.

Mark, who’s sitting on the passenger seat beside Renjun, announces you’ve arrived at the amusement park, just as Jaemin’s car halts to a slow stop behind you.

It’s the first time you’ve ever visited the famous amusement park in Seoul, and Mark looks excited with the way he’s jumping as you line up for the tickets. Donghyuck has his arm around you, taking pictures with his other hand. The rest are chattering, talking about the rides they’d love to try.

The secretly group decides to stick together for the entire day to celebrate Jeno’s day, despite the birthday boy himself telling everyone they can go wherever they want to. You could see how much they really care about one another and they all just hide it in their mean, vile jokes. For example, the man who has his arm wrapped around you likes teasing Jeno like it’s his full-time job, but is hiding a birthday present inside the trunk of Renjun’s car (and would most likely give it before you all head home, act like his best friend’s birthday isn’t that much of a big deal).

Most of the day is spent following Jeno around, whatever ride he wanted to try and your ears ringing because of how loud Donghyuck is screaming. The temperature has gone from freezing cold to warm, the humidity making it a little harder for everybody to move around under the warmth of the sun.

“I never realized how much of a scaredy cat you are, Donghyuckie,” you tease as soon as you walk out of the roller coaster ride. “Not much of a tough guy now, huh?”

Donghyuck whines, “I liked you better when the words you spoke were only yes and no.”

Mark laughs, slapping Donghyuck on the back. “Oh man, that was really good.”

“Yeah?” You rebut. “And I liked you better when you weren’t screaming like a kid.”

Donghyuck smirks, “And I like you better when you’re screaming my name.”

Renjun and Jisung cough in disgust, and Mark just straight up slapped the back of Donghyuck’s head. “You two are disgusting. I can’t believe I live with you, Y/N.”

Donghyuck laughs, turning to you. “It’s pretty hot. Want me to go grab you a can of soda? Ice cold water?”

“Water, please,” you say. Donghyuck nods and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling Chenle with him and walking to the opposite side where a small shop is. In the meantime, the rest of you occupy the benches under a shade, Jeno asking which ride to go next.

Donghyuck and Chenle return in a matter of time, bottles of drinks in their hands. They give everyone their preferred drinks, Donghyuck sitting beside Mark and extending an arm so he could hand you your drink from his side.

“Fucking summer,” Donghyuck curses. “I hate summer.”

Renjun raises an eyebrow. “Suddenly?”

“It’s not even summer yet,” Jaemin points out. “What happened to you? You’ve always been so excited about summer.”

“It’s so hot. I can’t stand this fucking temperature,” Donghyuck mumbles.

Renjun scoffs. “You start planning our summer getaway as early as March.”

“It’s already April and you have nothing yet,” Jisung points out.

“Yeah, what the hell, man. I hate your ridiculous ideas, but we can’t survive summer without you,” Jeno adds, then looks at Mark. “Yo, Mark, what about you? What are you doing this summer?”

You and Mark freeze, looking at each other for a second, before the latter speaks for you both: “We’re, uh, we’re supposed to go home.”

It seems like Jeno didn’t know the weight of his question because he apologizes as soon as he realizes it. The group falls into silence, no one says anything, or perhaps nobody could think of anything to say, not even you or Mark.

With your days in Seoul numbered, you realize now that you haven’t really talked about it—not you and Mark, not you and Donghyuck—and it never really felt real. You had always told yourself you’ll cross the bridge when you get there, and the bridge is nearby.

Donghyuck clears his throat. “The sun’s going to kill me. I think I saw a burger joint that has an air-conditioning system down the corner of that street. Shall we go there?”

Everybody agrees and stand to leave. Donghyuck holds your hand, pulling you close and steals a kiss on your cheek. The gesture makes your heart flutter. Donghyuck is warm, but not in the way the sun is hot right now—in a way that gets you thinking: can this warmth reach Vancouver?

Your skin hurts when the sunlight hits you. You hate summer.

 오해 하지마 (ohae hajima) – Don’t misunderstand

Donghyuck had a face that looked like what an artist would draw in a whim—spontaneously—like it was done in a rush, like a portrait from a park done by a street artist, something done with a pencil. Ink stains are harder to wash off, and anyway, figments aren’t mean to last—and he’s almost unrecognizable in this light.

You can’t recognize him on the night of his birthday.

His Mother had gone above and beyond and invited all of their closest relatives and family friends for his 23rd birthday, and it’s also your first time meeting them.

It’s nerve-wracking to say the least, but his Mother smiles at you kindly when she greets you from the entrance of the restaurant they rented for the evening. You could tell his family was wealthy, and it makes sense because Donghyuck got the most bare minimum job he could find, and it’s most likely because he doesn’t need to get one; he probably only got one so he could talk about work, too, just like the rest of his friends.

The birthday party is a surprise and it was Renjun who connected with everyone to make sure they attend here tonight. You had to make up some excuse to Donghyuck when he asked why you can’t join him for dinner with his family tonight and had promised to make it up to him the day after.

You’re sat in the same table as Mark, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin, a bit far away from Donghyuck’s family’s table, as you wait for the birthday boy, your present sitting on top of the round table. Mark talks about his cat, letting Jaemin watch snippets of his pet from his phone, and Renjun is narrating a story about his “ridiculous and absurd encounter with Liu Yangyang (and you and Jeno can’t pass up the opportunity to tease him about it).

Then, someone comes sit beside Jaemin, the boys gasping when they see her.

Karina is beautiful, and even saying that isn’t enough to describe the woman’s beauty. Soft-spoken and brilliant, Karina naturally allows everyone to gravitate towards her. All, including yourself, are pulled like magnet when she arrived. Jeno introduces you and you allow yourself to throw a quick and inaudible “hello” when she reaches over and asks you how you are.

Donghyuck’s Mother almost screams when she sees Karina, excitement filling up the air as she hugs her and thanks her for attending.

“I wouldn’t miss Hyuckie’s birthday for the world, eommoni,” Karina answers, and before you could ask Renjun how she’s related to Donghyuck, Jisung, who’s seated in another table with Donghyuck’s younger siblings, announces that the birthday man himself has arrived.

Donghyuck enters the hall, surprised and happy when he sees everyone, a dramatic cry leaving his lips as everyone greets him happy birthday. He feigns complaint, whining that he’s no longer eight years old, but hugs his parents anyway.

His parents thank everyone for joining a precious day and celebrating their eldest son’s birthday with them. Donghyuck bows and starts to go around to thank people.

You don’t recognize Donghyuck when he finally reaches your table and he gives you small smile, hugging you quickly before moving on to the next person. You don’t recognize Donghyuck when he goes to Karina, lifting her as he hugs her tightly, and thanking her for being able to come. You don’t recognize Donghyuck when his Mother joins the little reunion and he laughs when his Mother jokes about them missing each other too much.

“She’s the one who left me all alone here in Seoul,” Donghyuck pouts. “We wouldn’t have missed each other this much if you had stayed!”

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Hyuckie,” Karina says, rolling her eyes. “You visited me in Tokyo literally six months ago.”

Six months ago, which means, it was right before you arrived in Seoul.

You want to be anywhere else but here, and you don’t want to listen any further, but the scenario runs like a comedy show and the punch line is you.

“You two better decide whatever the hell you want to do with your lives by the end of the year,” Donghyuck’s Mother comments. “I mean, no one’s stopping you from moving to Tokyo, Donghyuck. You and Karina can rekindle whatever light was burnt last year. I’m glad you stayed best of friends despite the long distance. You’ve always made a great couple.”

Your breath hitches like your lungs had just been punch. Donghyuck, it seems, finally remembers you’re watching this unfold. Mark holds you, and bless him because your legs feel like they’re about to give up. You and Donghyuck make eye contact, but you don’t recognize him at all.

“Eomma,” Donghyuck clears his throat. Everything else he’s said come out like a blur, and Mark is just holding you close.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Renjun whispers closely. “They’re just friends.”

You don’t recognize Donghyuck when he watches you leave.

천천히 말씀해 주세요 (chun-chun-hee mal-sseum-heh ju-seh-yo)  - Please speak slowly | 집 (jib) - home

Karina turns out to be the one that got away. The one true love. The greatest love. The childhood best friend who’s always been there. The leading woman. She turns out to be the protagonist in Donghyuck’s story.

You learn all of these from Renjun. Even when he refused to say a single word and had begged for you to talk to Donghyuck instead, you learn the truth by asking Mark to ask Renjun.

Donghyuck and Karina. Karina and Donghyuck. Two peas in a pod. A tight knit. Knowing each other like the back of their hands. A buy one, get one kind of deal. Where one is, the other would follow. And everyone and their moms know that it has always been like that, will always be like that.

Donghyuck and Karina, born on the same year, grew up in the same small village in Jeju island. Having been inseparable since, they ended up moving to Seoul together in high school. Donghyuck’s parents were supportive of Donghyuck pursuing a career in music, and they believed that moving to Seoul was the first step for their beloved son to find his spotlight. Karina’s parents, however, couldn’t afford moving alongside the Lee family despite wanting to support their daughter, too. Donghyuck begged his parents to have Karina move in with them so her parents would only worry about paying her tuition and allowances. The Lee family agreed, of course, because Donghyuck and Karina were fifteen, and they were the best team the world has ever known.

Karina is a talented dancer, and with a face like hers, it would be a shame to keep her in a small town in Jeju island. Her moving to Seoul had been the first step to her early success, because as soon as she reached puberty and had gained a butt and a pair of breasts, agencies were scouting her, creepily waiting for her outside of hers and Donghyuck’s high school. She’d declined, of course, with a promise to Donghyuck that they’d go to stardom together, but Donghyuck wanted to study and make music, and he felt as though he needed to go to college for that.

Karina eventually moved to another dormitory when she started training. Donghyuck moved downtown to start college. They were in different places, but they were still inseparable.

Pretty much every day Donghyuck would meet up with Karina when she started training; if not, then he’d be on Facetime with her during the hours when she’s not working. He had brought her to SNU many times, and they had started dating by the time Donghyuck is in his second year. All the other guys know Karina and her place in Donghyuck’s life. Somehow, a bitter part of you feels betrayed that none of them ever mentioned about Donghyuck’s great love, but you can’t really blame them for not saying anything.

They broke up on the latter months of last year because Karina had to move to Tokyo. There was no big fight apparently, just the decision that it’s most likely not going to work because—listen to this; this is the biggest punch line of this comedy show—Donghyuck can’t handle long distance.

You had answered one of Donghyuck’s calls by mistake. He’s mad for some reason, perhaps angry of the fact that you’re ignoring him and he doesn’t have much control like he normally does.

“Y/N, for fuck’s sake, why haven’t you answered?” he had cried out as soon as you answered.

“I was busy,” was all you could come up with. You brain had not been working good enough to translate things to Korean.

“What do you mean you were busy?” he had asked, voice loud and angry. “You literally disappeared on me! On my fucking birthday! And I’m done playing nice and cool because this is unfair. Whatever the fuck you’re doing is unfair you’re not letting me in. If you could just let me explain, things—”

“Please speak slowly.”

“—would be easier for the two of us. Whatever Karina and I had, it’s been over since last year. It’s over way before I met you. I never thought of her, not even for a goddamn second since we got together. I wouldn’t fucking betray you like that—”

“I can’t understand you.”

“—and I can’t believe you don’t trust me enough to let me at least tell you what happened! I never mentioned her because I never even thought about her! My Mother doesn’t know anything! I’ve wanted you to meet my Mother for a long time, but given our situation, a fucking time bomb ticking, I didn’t know if it was too early to go to that stage.”

“Time bomb?” you had asked, repeating the syllables slowly. “What’s that?”

Donghyuck sighed on the other line. “The thing that explodes at a predetermined time.”

“Oh, a time bomb,” you asked in English, chuckling. “That, we are.”

“Huh?”

“We’re a fucking time bomb,” you said, again in English, because if Donghyuck could keep talking in his mother tongue without considering if you’d understand a single word, so could you. “We’re ticking and we’re just waiting for this shit to explode. And I can’t wait and watch myself burn, Donghyuck. I can’t.”

“Please speak slowly,” he pleaded in Korean. You don’t.

“This isn’t going to work,” you responded, still in your mother tongue. “Maybe this is a clear sign for us, Donghyuck. Goodbye.”

Mark finds you crying on floor of your living, your back leaning on the feet of the couch, two weeks after Donghyuck’s birthday.

The first week, you had convinced your friends you were fine and that you just needed time. Donghyuck’s been reaching out to everybody, and Mark, being the best friend he is, lies regarding your whereabouts every time Donghyuck visits.

You don’t know how many calls Donghyuck had tried to make and how many text messages he’d left because you had completely abandoned your phone for the last couple of weeks and only relied on your computer to check any e-mails from your professors.

“I’m sorry,” Mark says, and you feel a rush of relief when he talks to you in English. You’ve had enough of Korean and Korean men these days. “It sucks, man. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so fucking disappointed with Donghyuck.”

“Shouldn’t you be more disappointed with me?” you sniffle. “I should have listened to you. We were moving too fast.”

Mark shakes his head, pulling you closer so that your head is resting on his shoulder. “I couldn’t blame you. Donghyuck’s charming, and I genuinely thought he was in love with you. I mean, I could say is, because I really think he’s sorry about everything.”

“We didn’t even get to properly break up,” you cry. “Our flight back home is in like, two weeks. I was supposed to talk to him and decide what we’d do with our relationship. For his birthday, I made a stupid mixtape that he could keep in his car and a very expensive and fucking cheesy set of touch lamps I found online for whenever he would miss me. And I keep making stupid letters like a fucking idiot so I could leave him with a bunch of poorly constructed letters just so he knows how much I’ll fucking miss him.”

Mark stays silent as you sob your heart out.

“And can you believe I actually thought it’d work?” you say, exasperated. “I’m so fucking sorry to myself. I’m just glad it’s over before I did shit I’d regret later on.””

“Shit like?” Mark asks.

You sigh, sniffling and screaming internally because the tears would stop. “I was already looking into internships here. For my last semester in college. I had already decided to decline the internship they were offering back home—thank God I haven’t sent that e-mail from my drafts—and I’ve found really good companies here. And if I’m lucky, I was thinking of moving here after college.”

Mark clicks his tongue. “All because of Donghyuck?”

“Because he feels like home, Mark,” you reason out. “He’s warm, and I can’t believe I’m admitting this now, but I love him. I love him so fucking much.”

“Oh, Y/N.”

“And we would have been happy. I would’ve done everything I could,” you confess. “And this fucking language barrier will be the death of me, but I would’ve learned more. I’d be an expert by the end of the year. And now, this whole Karina thing made me realize how much more I need to know about him.”

Mark holds you closer as though holding you would make things better. “When we were kids,” he starts. “Whenever I told you stories about how much I miss all the people I had to leave behind whenever we had to move from one country to another, one state to another, you’d always tell me to never build houses out of people.”

You remember. You always admired how Mark could move from one place to another, his suitcase and the ghost of the friendships he made following his trail, and he’s always told you about the loneliness it comes with.

“You used to tell me shelters aren’t supposed to be made of arms wrapped around you on a cold night, or hands that hold you when you’re feeling lonely,” he continues. “And I can’t blame you, because humans are known not to follow their own advice. But I hope you find home in things you’d never lose.”

You nod. “I’m sorry for breaking rule number three.”

“You’ll get over him,” he assures. “If you decide to really end things here, I mean. I’m sure you can get over him. It’s easier to get over people when you don’t see him.”

You nod, “Let’s go home, Mark.”

“Back home?”

You smile. “Yes. Back home.”

갈망 (galmang) - longing

It’s Giselle who picks you up from the airport.

You reunite like old friends, but Giselle really didn’t change that much. Even the weather didn’t change much. The same old. You wish you could say the same to yourself.

The flight to Vancouver was the most painful ten hours of your life, both literally and figuratively. It was hard watching your friends bid you goodbye, and you could tell they were dreading your departure as much as you and Mark were. Mark assures them you and him would save up to visit them again this year and as much as you’d wanted to stay, your student visa would allow you only six months. Mark promises he’d work on a tourist visa or whatever because despite being 100% ethnically Korean, but legally, he can’t just visit whenever he wants.

The pain from your breakup with Donghyuck is nothing compared to seeing Mark leave his friends again. You know how much they mean to him, and by extension, how much they mean to you regardless of what happened before your departure.

The head of student exchange program sends you warm greetings through text, followed by a series of messages from your friends and family. You’re glad Giselle had decided to pick you up from the airport, because you don’t think you’re in a good state to pretend like you’re okay, and Giselle knows.

Of course, she knows.

Giselle’s been your anchor during your last weeks in Seoul. Mark reckons that if anyone would understand you best during this time, it would be Giselle. After all, she’d gone through the same thing.

Like Mark, Giselle moved to Seoul with her parents for a few years. She had a similar experience with Mark, considering that her parents are constantly moving around—from Japan to South Korea then to Vancouver. Giselle was only in Seoul for two years before her parents moved back to Vancouver again, and in between those years she had met Kevin Moon, the love of her life.

They have been dating for almost four years now, two of those years, they dated long distance.

“How’d you make it work?” you had asked Giselle over Facetime once.

“It wasn��t perfect,” she admitted. “We broke up a couple of time because it was really difficult. And neither of us were willing to move for each other. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Kevin and I, we love each other. Truly we do. But I wouldn’t want to plant my entire life in Seoul for him. In the same manner, I don’t want him to move from Seoul to Vancouver for me when we both know for a fact that he’d be more successful in Korea than here. I guess, I don’t know, I don’t have an advice I could give you.”

“I’m not asking for advice,” you denied. “I mean. Donghyuck and I have only been dating for like, two weeks. I wouldn’t think that far at this time.”

Giselle had laughed at the other end of the line. “Let me tell you one thing, though.”

“Mhm.”

“It’s all a matter of choice,” she had said slowly, like she wanted to imprint the words to your brain. “Your heart isn’t made of diamonds. Your lungs aren’t made of steel. Somehow, inevitably, you’d grow tired—tired of timezones and how you never get the timing right, tired of not having someone to hug when you need it, tired of having to compromise—and it’s not an easy game.”

Giselle was smiling when she’d said the rest: “But Kevin is so worth it. I’ll grow tired of the baggage long distance comes with, but I don’t think I could live without him, you know? And it’s exaggerated, I know, and neither of us know what the future holds, but we’re choosing us. We chose to stay.”

It would have been beautiful, you think, if things worked out between you and Donghyuck. You would have written poems and prose in places about how you chose to stay. You would have learned about time zones and the best time to call, could have learned how to purchase the cheapest flight tickets to see each other, would have learned love and compromise together.

But you’re here, back in Vancouver, the voices of Mark and Giselle all blurred out from the backseat, and all you could think of is how much you miss Donghyuck.

예기치 않은 (yegichi anh-eun) - unexpected

The head of the student exchange program asks you to write an article about your experience in Seoul and gives you until the fall semester begins, just in time for the university’s own publishing house to produce this year’s school paper. You’re stuck at two hundred words and a stupid title Mark came up with: “Learning Languages”—and you’re thinking about withdrawing from that spot in the newspaper but Mark keeps calling you a heartbroken loser and you’re not about to let Mark Lee get the last word.

You’re eating cereal and watching an episode of Suits to prepare to write again (yes, a 30-minute preparation time is needed for such task) when someone knocks at your door.

You know how, in movies, the main character would see things in slow motion as soon as the love of their life enters the scene? That’s exactly what happens when you open the door and find Lee Donghyuck standing outside your dorm room, a too-large for his body backpack on one shoulder and his heart upon his sleeve.

미안해 (mianhae) – I’m sorry | 사랑해 (saranghae) – I love you

“I’m sorry,” are the first words that Lee Donghyuck comes up with, and truthfully are the words you needed to hear from him. He says it in his mother tongue and you feel his heart in his voice.

“Mark?” you ask, knowing full well it’s Mark who helped him.

“Yes but no,” he answers. “He said he’d only give me your address but he’s not picking me up or helping me. My flight landed literally six hours ago and I’ve been looking for you since.”

Donghyuck sits across you on the small table you own inside your small room. His backpack is sitting on his feet and his shoulders are slumped. Donghyuck allows himself to look small compared to all the times you were with him.

“Y-you look good,” he comments, eyes glued on you. “I’m glad you’re healthy, at least.”

“You, too,” you mumble. “Tea? Coffee?”

“Water would be fine, please and thank you.” You reach over to hand him a bottle. “And who are you kidding? I look awful.”

He does. He looks exactly what he said he had done to get here. Look for you for six hours after a ten-hour flight from Incheon. Donghyuck downs the bottle of water. Poor guy probably hasn’t eaten.

“Why are you here, Donghyuck?” you ask as soon as he’s done drinking.

Donghyuck clears his throat. “I don’t really know what I want out of this trip.”

You keep your arms crossed over your chest.

“And I’m not about to beg you to take me back,” he continues. “I just wanted to explain. I just want you to know what happened. I can live without you, but I can’t live with you thinking I had betrayed you.”

“Donghyuck, there’s really no need to explain. Renjun has told Mark all I needed to know.”

“No, let me say it please. I spent a fortune to come here, and I’m going to make you listen if it’s the last thing I’d do. After this, I’ll leave. I have a ticket back home tomorrow, and I’ll leave.”

Ridiculous. Who would spend a fortune on a set of roundtrip tickets only to leave a day after? Of course, only Lee Donghyuck.

“Karina and I go way back,” he says. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. And she’s not someone I could just get rid of just because our relationship didn’t work out. We’re better off as friends, and that’s a fact we had come to learn when we tried dating. And it was painful, but I couldn’t lose her just because we didn’t know how to date, how to play boyfriend and girlfriend to each other. That’s the first thing I need you to understand.”

“Like I don’t know that already?” you remark sarcastically.

“Karina is a part of me.” Shit’s painful.

“But now like how you are a part of me.”

Oh.

“She’s my best friend, almost like a sister now, and my parents care about her,” he continues. “It was a mistake that we even tried to date just so we could relate to everyone dating everybody. It almost ruined us, and Karina and I, we can’t afford to lose each other just because of that. The person who I am now, part of it is because of Karina. But Y/N, the person I’m about to become, I want it to be because of you.”

He clears his throat again. You look at the bottle of water he finished drinking because you really can’t look at Donghyuck now. Not when he’s vulnerable and out in the open. Not when he’s exactly the way he was when you fell in love with him.

“And I had plans. For the long run,” he says like a promise. “I had started looking up how to get a tourist visa to Canada and how to get you a tourist visa to Korea. I’ve been saving all my allowances and the money I’ve been earning from work so I could book a ticket to Vancouver for the summer and spend it with you. And I was supposed to tell Mom, but I haven’t had the chance yet—that one I have no excuse for. But the timing was off and she met you before I could tell her. She had no idea and she’s genuinely sorry she made it seem like she wanted me to end up with Karina. If she had known I was already in love with someone else, she wouldn’t have said that in front of you. She would have loved you.”

Donghyuck pauses. You look up to see him wiping his tears from his cheeks. “And I’m sorry that the timing didn’t go well for us, but I promise you I had plans. I just didn’t want to spend the rest of your weeks in Seoul thinking about you being gone as soon as the semester is over. I wanted to seize the moments with you and make you—I wanted to make you feel that I love you.”

Your breath hitches. Donghyuck locks eyes with you.

“I love you. I love you and I’m so sorry that I made you feel like I didn’t,” he confesses, bursting into tears and you do, too. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t try hard enough to make you stay. I’m so sorry that I talked to fast that time I finally got you to answer my call; I should’ve explained more calmly. I’m so sorry that we’re here, in Vancouver, hearts broken. But I love you, and I wish I could say all of these in English if that’s what would make you believe it’s real and it’s true.”

But he doesn’t have to.

“I love you,” you say in your mother tongue before switching to Korean. “I love you. And I know you love me. And I’m so sorry for jumping to conclusions and not trying hard enough. Just like you, I had plans to. For the long run. And I can live without you, too, but I can’t live without you knowing how much I love you.”

Donghyuck giggles through his tears and reaches out both hands to wipe off yours. “Let’s not live without each other.”

It’s him to moves, standing a little, so he could kiss you.

The kiss says everything the language barrier can’t. I love you. I missed you. I’m sorry. This is everything I’ve ever wanted. You are everything I’ve ever wanted.

Donghyuck spends the night tracing your body with his mouth like he’s writing a love song and he needs to taste you first before he could write the first melody. You spend the night underneath Donghyuck’s love, whispering his name like praise, taking, taking, taking everything he’s giving you.

You wake up to arms around you and the love of your life kissing the back of your neck. You and him spend the entire day (or at least, the seven hours he had until he had to take the flight back home) talking about your plans and making a list of thing you have to talk about over the phone, but today, you’re taking him out on a date under the warm, sunny skies of Vancouver.

And you do. You and Donghyuck have the best day ever together. Donghyuck gives you the other pair of the touch lamp you’d given to him as a birthday present—you’d forgotten you left it when you ran off; you were supposed to watch him open it so you could show him how it works—and makes you promise to touch the lamp whenever you missed him. He thanks you for the mixtape and confesses he cries whenever he plays it inside his car. He also gives you your small notebook of learning languages back (because you had dramatically left it to Renjun before you boarded the plane), saying you’d need it again.

Mark refused to come because he wants you and Donghyuck to talk and spend the day creating a game plan to make your relationship work. At the end of the hours you had with him, you don’t come up with a solid game plan.

Because Giselle was right, after all, it all comes down to the choices you make. There was no formula on how a long-distance relationship would work. Neither you nor Donghyuck had survived one, but you knew one thing:

Today, you and Donghyuck choose each other.

It’s only the beginning, it seems.

The sun is out and bright when Donghyuck boards the plane.

It’s a lot warmer than the rest of the year, but you don’t really mind.

[from-izzy]

it's so nice to be loved by you | nct na jaemin

And this is one of the moments when Na Jaemin feels like the luckiest person in the world once again.

pairing » nct na jaemin x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything!)​

trope/au » ​established relationship au!, college au!, non-idol au!

genre » fluffy and comforting love for both you and jaemin, you show jaemin that you love him, boyfriend na jaemin who loves to give you back hugs, a ton of kissing, again my horrible attempt at comedy

word count, estimated reading time » 1064, ~4 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » jaemin implied to be taller, not proofread 😭

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

it took me way too long to decide on a banner that i had to post this for later like 🤠 genuinely didn't think this was going to see the light of day before jaemin's bday ended 😭 anyway! so...y'all would think that i'm jaemin biased but i'm not 😗 in saying that! he needs to stop wrecking my bias list aye-

happy birthday to our nana!

Na Jaemin is a hard worker. 

When he sets his mind on something, he will see it through the end even if the whole world turns against him.

Or maybe he continues working hard because he knows you won’t turn against him, no matter the result. Because he believes you will always hear him, let him explain his thoughts even if the whole world doesn’t crumble down on him. These little things made him realise that he’s deeply in love with you, and these same acts reassure him that you feel the same.

For you, the small things like the little hugs he gives whenever he sees you. Despite your complaints of these back hugs that would make you stumble forward and sometimes spill a bit of your beverage on your hand, you would never want him to stop surprising you with this little act of love he gives. You’ve always wanted him to be on the receiving side of this—not the whole spilling drinks part—but the moving emotions that you feel whenever he wraps his arms around you and whispers sweet nothings that would immediately heat your cheeks in a matter of milliseconds. 

It’s currently the perfect opportunity for that. You have failed in your previous attempts because you’re not as stealthy in your steps as you think you were and Jaemin would always say that he has his special radar for you but you’ve always tried your attempts whenever Jaemin isn’t too preoccupied with something else, whether it be writing his final notes on the board or how he’s walking down the hallway at the start of the day. 

Right now, you observe sneakily as Jaemin scored the final goal with his friend group from high school. You were thankful that they all decided to go to the same institution for further study. You felt lonely sometimes with your friends in a different college, but Jaemin is here and everything seems to be breathable once more as you continue your academic journey. Jaemin just finished his soccer game before they all needed to go to their tutorial, sparing a good ten to fifteen minutes to walk through this enormous campus.

Though tired and out of breath, he still saves his last energy to playfully bicker with his friends, resonating laughs in the summer light as the losing team promises that they’ll win next time. You make eye contact with Jeno briefly, who along with everyone else but Jaemin has already decided to prepare for the next part of their day. You hold your index finger to your lips at your boyfriend’s best friend and he responds with an ‘o’ shape to his lips, knowing exactly what you’re planning.

You dashed right away, your steps thankfully masked by the chaotic sounds of his friends. You slump right to Jaemin’s back, arms loosely around his neck and chin resting on his shoulder. The fact that Jaemin responds with a surprised gasp is what made the grin on your face grow. 

“Hello there,” he greets after recognising the bracelet he recently gifted you, chuckling at how pretty it looks on the hands that he loves to hold.

A kiss to the cheek is what you greet him back with and Jaemin turns his head to your side, bopping his nose to yours. “Good game?” 

He just responds with a nod. “Don’t think you should be hugging me though. I’m all sweaty,” to which you just shrug your shoulders, not minding it at all.

And this is one of the moments when Na Jaemin feels like the luckiest person in the world once again. 

It’s such a simple gesture but to him it’s everything. He doesn’t ask for a lot of things, only genuine love and that’s what you show him all the time, again and again. You watch as he flutters his eyelashes down, closing his eyes to feel your embrace in the cooling wind. He leans his forehead into yours and you feel his calming breathing on your lips. You shortly followed his actions, just enjoying being in his presence whilst initiating a swaying motion to your hug. 

“It’s so nice to be loved by you.” 

And when you open your eyes, you’re met with a pair of eyes that show his entire universe: you. The realisation of his words sinks in and you are about to answer if it wasn’t for him titling his head, diving to press a quick peck to your lips. Just when you thought he was done, he would go for another one, relishing your flustered state.

“Nana!” His hands on your forearm to make sure you don’t escape.

Jaemin does eventually stop kissing you though a pout stays on his lips and it’s only when you mirror his expression back that the corner of his lips rises. You both continue in this atmosphere for a bit more before Jaemin continues his thought.

“It’s nice,” he whispers, “to know that I can always go to someone even if I don’t have an exact reason to. To be able to give my all to someone, knowing that they’ll appreciate it.”

And this time, you were the one to envelop his lips. It’s longer than the ones he gave you. Your lips hug his, moving slowly and delicately to which he reciprocates. He thinks it’s beautiful, just like your whole being to him. You pull away and Jaemin looks at you thoughtfully, wondering how he got so lucky.

“Can I tell you a secret?” 

“Doubt that it will be but go ahead.”

“You’re right,” nodding to the fact, “It really isn’t a secret that I love you so much, Na Jaemin.”

“Told you,” teasing but delightful at the confession, “And I hope that it’s not a secret to you too that I love you more.”

“No. I love you more than you love me.” 

“Nope,” dramatically shaking his hair that’s now even messier. “I love you more than you think that I love you more than you think you love me more.”

Like on cue, a flying bird caws after shooting his argument. “Jaemin, I don’t think that makes sense.” 

“It wasn’t supposed to.”

It didn’t matter anyway. The only thing that does is your love for each other.

“Seriously, what do I do with you?”

“Kiss me again.”

How could you deny him when you wanted to just as much? 

navi/masterlist!! 🤍

tags: @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @starlit-network 🌌⭐

please consider leaving feedback!! thank you for your time!!

[astroyongie]

꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦ Kpop Tea Part 2. ꒷꒦︶꒷꒦︶ ๋ ࣭ ⭑꒷꒦

Note: there's the list of some teas to celebrate my come back <3 This second part is only concerning male idols! WARNINGS: All names are censured. Requests with emojis asking for names won't be answered. Some tea can be sensitive. One X per member per group. Take it lightly EVERYTHING DONW THROUGH TAROT ! Ps: Ta*** is not included in nct 127 nor will be mentioned in my nct posts again.

NCT 127

X has a lot of regrets on what is currently happening with the group and what happened with * . this message here leaves to believe he knew what was happening but never truly addressed the issue

X's also doesn't has any consentment responsibility

X's is actually happy that * left the group and he feels quite more free with that decisions but he believes that the fault is at the company too for giving some members too much freedom

X is currently dealing with some heavy addiction

X has received a proposal from another company to join after the end of the contract with SM

X's is hella happy that * left the group

X is super angry, so much that it is affecting him into another level. this because he didn't know about the whole scandal and when he learnt of it, it made him feel a lot of anger toward *

X is investing a lot on other things than the entertainment as he isn't planing to do stay around in SM for long years

NCT Dream

X knows a lot more of what happens in the company than what he lets to see. he probably has the most dirt on the other members

X is not happy in his relationship but he doesn't want to leave them because it would mean to beak down years of happiness. breaking this off would also mean a lot of issues

expect X to go through a physical transformation

X has what we call an artificial heart. he is incapable of feeling love for people that isn't tangled in desire or lust

X has been working so much on himself, trying so much to see himself, he sacrifices so much to be able to provide better life for himself, his members but also trainees

WayV

X is in a relationship but that doesn't stop him from cheating with people inside the company

X is under the influence of someone extremely negative for himself and his own heath, but he is too blind on this

X's intimate relationships could become an issue if they were exposed to the public

X has sometimes outbursts of physical violence toward others

X is super jealous of his other members and he will sometimes try to 'steal' what they have for himself

X is smart and he isn't afraid of competition or of people in the company.

Stray Kids

X is broken, all of his fragmented self is one constituting only one, the issue is that instead of fixing what's broken, he has picked up the fragments and tried to do something about it but it as made him more vulnerable

X's mental health keeps being my greatest worry. I am scared for him

X's truly needs to be careful with who he sleeps with unless he wants to have surprised and he also should go forward with his solo project

x has plain conscience that he is in a complicated situation with his love life and his career at the moment

X's energy is currently filled with jealousy, affective dependence and obsession that he has over his current partner. but x has also been having some self destructive behaviors

X has been too prideful which made him burn his fingers with this person. his goal wont work out

X believes that he was born to suffer which is the reason why he always accept the stupidities of the company, like he accepts the mistreatment and believes for it to be necessary

X is in a relationship, his affectionate and intimate life is all right but also this includes his family. he is truly happy

Monsta X

X has been calling for help via media and yet no one has noticed it

X regrets being an idol, as he believes that he wasn't born to be who he is. he regrets to have lost so much of his childhood to this

X could literally ruin everyone's career in the industry if he dared to open his mouth

X is preservating something that could potentially be problematic

X has been manipulating and cheating on his partner. he has turned his relationship into a toxic gaslighting one and he has Toal control over his partner

X is so blind to his own pain that he doesnt notice that he is hurting the people around him

TXT

X has big self esteem and self image issues which often result into body dysphoria and potentially into eating habits that arent healthy

X was able to adapt to the new situation that has been happening to him and the group

X is currently celebrating a win that he has been fighting for a long time

X isn't known to smell very well in amount the idols

X is alone in the world as a sense where he knows doesnt have close or true friends as one can understand it

Seventeen

X is the one who has the most financial gain surprisingly

X has been trying to get closer to his family and also putting boundaries between his idol life and his private life. he hates when fans ask about his private life

X is capable to see some type of ghosts or veils to a certain point

X has been feeling very vulnerable lately, mostly because he has allowed some people to see him In all his glory and naked self, without covers, revealing some of his insecurities

X's pride will be his downfall

X is full of positive energy and he is also preparing some time of solo project. he has been thinking about having a child

X is totally and unhealthy obsessed with his partner

X is going through some type of grief

X has sacrificed a lot on his life, love and family for this career and he hates that he isnt appreciated enough for it

X is taking a new step into his life. this man just wants to marry and be done with this

X was able to come to terms with his own demons, with his own griefs and issues as he is now focusing on himself and his health

everything you know about x, all the interviews, all the videos, all the content. that is 100 percent his idol self. his true self is nothing like that

X is currently in love and loving his true big passion

BTS

no matter what X will do with his career, there's victory for him and he knows it

X next solo will be a success

X's dreams are too big to be achievable even for him. it seems like producers arent keen to do what he wants

X is goign through a lot of introspection as he believes that his life needs to improve

X has been working in a project that will equal bring a lot of success and stability for himself

X is totally focused on his career right now, as nothing else matters

it doesn't matter how much X was broken in the past by the one person who turned him the way he is. he wont heal himself, he refuse to cry for the her

EXO

X loves his job, he really does, but he truly wants to end his contract so he can marry his partner and have his life

X is not living in the present and that is his biggest mistake

X doesnt want official relationships, he wants to mess around, to lie passionate things instead of a official relationship that because he believes love is superficial

X has been dealign a lot with his mental health and his sensibility can be seen and felt through his interactions

this X is nothing but lies whenever he opens his mouth to talk about something. his whole success is based on lies

X is going to go through grief, either from a family member, friend or a relationship (this doesnt mean necessarily physical death)

X is helped by shamans

X has been trying to heal from the abuse, the submission and the abandonment he has lived these past years. although he is trying to heal form all of it

X doesn't remember himself, he doesnt remember who he was before the fame and that kinda of fucks up his mentality and his mental health

Ateez

X has been struggling a lot with his mental health and you may notice how he has lost his 'color'

new opportunity coming for X

X is doign well after a very rough period on his life. he is glowing

X's latests communications in his social/interviews/media has been the realest he has been so far

X is currently going for revenge after someone has broken his heart in a way he never thought being possible

X and pregnancy scare

X has been forgiven by someone he has hurt pronfundly

X believes that he needs to atone for some of his behaviors he had in the past that could bring him issues

The Boyz

X has hope that everything he has done will be put under a rag

X is clear, probably one of the only male idols who has never done anything bad in his life

X is faithful to his relationship and has not cheated once

X is balanced and in good health at the moment

X should be using protection If he doesnt want to have a baby scare

X has been missing his family quite a lot, and it pains him that his schedule doesnt give him the freedom to be home

The company is protecting X from some info to go out in the public which could cause a big scandal

X is waiting for his contract to end so he can leave the company

X is often mistaken by someone evil but he is actually super compassionate with people

X's sexual energy is very heavy and he needs to be careful on who he gets involved with to avoid issues

X is still searching for his life meaning and for a love that could fullfy him

Enhypen

X is still in a relationship and he doesnt care of what people say since he is truly in love with them

I don't understand how X can be so pacifist and calm among so many thorns. this man could ruin a few lives

X has been equally protected of scandals by his company

somethign bad happened between x and a higher up that I cannot speak of

X has an important travel to do that will give him some media attention

X solo opportunity

ZeroBaseOne

X has good intuition which is the reason he seems like someone collected on the outside

X is single and completely free to do whatever he wants and he also doesnt care anyone of what the public says about him

the depths of X energy are quite heavy to look at

X is clever enough to avoid troubles even when he does them

X is equally enjoying his life by flinging with whoever he feels like

X has been being more careful compared to his teammates when it comes to do things that could be complicated to deal with in the public

X's mental health has improved greatly

expect X to change something about his visual !

X is currently dealing with a broken heart from his last relationship that terminated

Riize

X's is changing his whole self and probably changing a few things on his idol persona

solo opportunity or project for X

X's energy has been very active, I just hope he knows what he is doing

X might get violent sometimes when he feels overwhelmed

X realize that he hates being an idol but now he cant do anything about it

X's is physically and mentally the most stable in this group

it might not seem like it but X has so much power over his members because he knows things

[poweringthroughthis]

fever dream | nakamoto yuta

nsfw, mdni

pair: yuta x male reader

desc: Being an avid NCTzen for a while now, you can't believe the events that transpire once you finally get to attend the NCT concert in your country, and meet your biggest bias.

warnings: dirty talk, oral, anal s*x

It was most definitely a fever dream. Korean fans are truly lucky with how often they get opportunities to see their favorite artists perform live. The rest of us, on the other hand, check whether the name of our country has been included in the artist's list for the latest world tour, while we happily cheer them on from the confines of our homes. But as they say, good things shall come to those who wait. You never thought such a day would actually come but it has, and here you are, standing at the entrance of the stadium that NCT was set to perform at today!

For obvious reasons, your nerves were all over the place. You couldn't get rid of the giddiness no matter how much you tried to normalize the day mentally. In fact, the idea of soothing your nerves was what brought you here, at the venue.....four hours in advance. The entry gates were closed and security had barely begun overseeing the arrangements. As you took in the surroundings, two or three vans came to a halt in front of the gate. It didn't take much of a genius to guess the Neos had arrived. Your heart started ringing in your eardrums. You were about to see them in the flesh.

They were surrounded by bodyguards from all directions but you could see a comparatively relaxed formation of their security since no fans were here yet. You were admiring the boys from a distance as they came out of the vans in sweats, not wishing to misuse this opportunity and get in their personal space. Then you saw him, and your heart stopped for a second. Your bias, Nakamoto Yuta. He was absolutely ethereal. You almost missed his brief glance at you, chalking it up to your delusions. But it was hard not to faint when he asked the security guard something, pointing discreetly in your direction before he went in, trailing the other members.

The guard gestured you over but you were still somewhat confused. "Hey, you! You're here for the concert, aren't you? Mr. Yuta said you can wait backstage if you want to." Your eyes widened comically. Did you hear that right? You were afraid you were going to need CPR, this was a little too surreal for a random Saturday.

"um, but can I ask why?" you managed to croak out.

"Kid, do I look like I know that? Get in if you want to, or keep standing in the heat. I have work to do." he replied gruffly and you quickly entered the premises.

Finding the green rooms wasn't much of a hassle, with the halls being void of anyone and a door reading 'NCT 127' in ginormous font. The rooms must be divided based on subunits, you figured. The door made a creaking noise as you you shakily opened it and peeked inside.

Only one person was present, you couldn't see their face since they had their back towards you but it was easy to confirm by their hair color. It was Yuta. He seemed to be busy, either doing vocal warm ups or texting, but you had to clear this misunderstanding. "Hi? Um, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting but-"

"No, it's fine. You can come in." he turned around, smiling at you. He had a smile so radiant, you wondered how many hearts he had already captured with that smile alone. "I told the security to let you in."

"Uh, thanks? I think there has been a huge misunderstanding, I don't know you personally but you're free to correct me if I'm wrong." you replied, slightly more nervous now. He raised his eyebrow at that and motioned you to go on. "But, you're like a celebrity and I'm a nobody. I just want to make sure you're not mistaking me for someone else and you aren't in trouble or anything. It's okay if you need me to leave."

"Well, I've never met a 'nobody' before." he grinned, "You are very attractive, if I'm being honest. And you're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"T-thank you"

He was sitting on the sofa, the one closest to the door and he patted the space beside him, motioning you to sit down. You were unsure if that was appropriate, considering you had met the guy not even five minutes ago but it didn't feel right to deny.

"What's your name, cutie?"

"Uh, it's y/n"

"That's cute. Do you have any social media?"

"Y-yes."

"Let me follow you then, I don't really post but I'd like seeing pictures of you."

"Um, okay. If you want to, I mean." you were a stuttering mess, you couldn't believe this was happening. He followed your instagram handle, liking a few posts before following and you had never felt more self conscious in your life. You wanted to hide, you knew the pictures he was liking were all your cringey photos and selfies from your rare confidence boosts.

"Hey, are you shy around me?"

"Y-yes...sorry, this is really overwhelming. I've just been such a big fan for the longest-"

"A fan, huh? Tell me, is it a big turn off if I kissed you right now?"

You stared at him incredulously. "Um, well...I'm not sure if you're asking for my opinion."

"Oh, but I am." he smirked, moving closer. He had a hand placed on your thigh and his face was mere inches away. "What's the verdict?"

"No, not a turn off. Not at all." you said, barely above a whisper.

"Great. You're a sweet little thing if I've ever seen one." he said before closing the gap and capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. It was slow and sensual. He tasted like strawberry, probably because of the lip balm you thought.

Your hands went up to caress his face, and he placed his hands on your waist, bringing you even closer. You couldn't tell how much time had passed, the two of you were completely engrossed in each other. His hand trailed down to your ass and gave it a squeeze, eliciting a surprised gasp. You didn't want to, but you broke the kiss and stared at him.

"I'm not going to push you if you don't want this, I'd like to have your consent."

"I want it."

"Are you sure? We're complete strangers, you have no reason to trust me."

"I know, but I've had a crush on you for a long time. You can do whatever you want, honestly"

"Fuck, that's hot. I don't know how I'm gonna control myself, but I'm willing to try."

With that, he went back to kissing you. He started getting a little more aggressive with his movements, sucking your lower lip. He slowly trailed his tongue on your bottom lip, asking for entrance and you opened your mouth slightly, letting his tongue in. He was so experienced, you could only melt in his arms. You tried your best to keep up but were mostly overwhelmed. It was..your first steamy encounter, after all.

You broke the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting your mouths. Yuta stared at you with lust filled eyes, a smirk plastered on his face. "You're doing so good for me, kitten."

"I am?"

"Yeah, I'm going to make you feel good, so good." He got up and locked the door, turning back towards you and you realized that this was happening. He went back to sit next to you, bringing his lips back onto yours, his hands going under your shirt. You moaned softly as his fingers grazed your nipple. "You're so sensitive."

You broke the kiss. "Yuta, I'm a virgin."

He groaned and kissed your neck. "I can't believe I get to pop your cherry." He continued trailing kisses down your neck, his hands squeezing your nipples. Your hands roamed his back and shoulders, enjoying the way his muscles rippled under your touch.

"Take your shirt off, baby." He removed his own shirt, exposing his well built upper body. You felt yourself grow wetter just by looking at him. His body was truly godlike, his toned muscles glistening. You couldn't help but stare.

"You're so beautiful" he whispered. "You're going to look even more beautiful once I'm done with you." He started unbuttoning your shirt, taking it off completely and throwing it away. Your breath hitched, your body was exposed and Yuta was staring at it like a starved animal. He bent his head down and captured a nipple between his lips, licking and sucking, his fingers teasing the other. You were a moaning mess, the feeling was too much.

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes, god yes"

"Good. Tell me, have you ever touched yourself, baby?"

"Y-yes"

"And what were you thinking about when you did it?"

"You"

He groaned at that and pulled down your pants, along with your underwear. He kissed his way down from your chest to your thighs. His mouth was hovering over your dick and he looked up at you with a devilish smirk, "I'm going to suck you off, is that alright?"

"Please, I've never felt anyone's mouth down there"

"Good." He started by giving a tentative lick and you whimpered. He smirked and licked the underside, swirling his tongue around the tip. He slowly took the whole thing in his mouth and you threw your head back, moaning.

"F-fuck, feels so good"

He was bobbing his head, his tongue swirling around your dick, his cheeks hollowed. The feeling was incredible, you had never felt anything like it. You were bucking your hips and gripping his hair, trying not to cum.

"Cum in my mouth, baby"

And you were a goner. This was the craziest day ever. Yuta just said that to you. You wished you could replay the sound of that a hundred times over.

You came in his mouth, and he swallowed it all, moaning. He stood up and licked his lips. You were a panting mess, coming down from your high.

"You're such a good boy for me"

"M-more"

"Don't worry, we're not done yet"

He started undoing his belt, taking his pants off and throwing them aside. He was wearing a pair of black boxers, and his erection was evident. He pulled them down, his dick springing free and you were in awe. It was big, and thick, and you couldn't help but stare. He chuckled, "Like what you see?"

"Yes, it's so big"

"And it's all yours, baby." He stroked himself a few times, his precum leaking. "Are you ready, kitten?"

"Yes"

"Get on your knees." You obediently got down on your knees, facing away from him. He lined his dick with your entrance, rubbing it against your hole. You nodded. He slowly pushed the tip in, and it felt like your whole body was on fire.

"Fuck, you're so tight"

He grabbed your hips, and started thrusting, slowly. You were moaning and whimpering, the feeling was so intense. You had never felt anything like it. You were being stretched open, your hole being filled to the brim.

"Y-Yuta, faster"

"You like that, huh? You like my cock?"

"Y-yes, I love it"

He picked up the pace, his thrusts becoming faster. "Thought you were innocent, baby. Who would have guessed you'd turn out to be such a slut."

"Fuck, Yuta!"

"That's right, say my name."

You were being pounded into the floor, and you were loving every second of it. He was fucking you so good, his cock hitting your sweet spot. You were moaning and whimpering, unable to hold back.

"Fuck, you're so sexy. I'm close."

He chuckled. "My sweet little angel, you can't get enough of me."

You were close to climaxing, the pleasure was so intense, you could barely think straight. You were a moaning mess, Yuta was grunting and breathing heavily. He was pounding into you, his thrusts becoming more erratic.

"After today, I'll make sure you keep coming back for more. Make you feel good, just like this. Gonna ruin you for anyone else. You'll be begging for my cock, and only my cock."

"Fuck, Yuta!" You cried out, nearing your orgasm, his dirty talk sending you over the edge. You could tell you wouldn't last much longer.

"I'll turn you into a dumb cock slut. I'll train you to take my dick in your ass every day. I'll fuck you so hard, you won't be able to walk."

"Please, fuck me harder. Make me yours."

"You'll be walking to the concert ground funny. You'll be so fucked out, you won't be able to function. I'll make sure of that."

"F-fuck, Yuta!"

With that, you were both pushed over the edge, and you came, hard. Your vision went white, and your body was wracked with pleasure. You could feel him filling you up, his warm seed filling your ass as he pulled your head back towards him, neck straining as he sloppily kissed you.

You were both panting and spent. You had just had sex with the man of your dreams. He was still inside of you, and he was still kissing you. It was a passionate kiss, and you could feel his adoration for you. You were so lucky.

"You did so good for me, baby." He whispered. "Such a good boy for me."

You were too blissed out to reply. Your brain was not cooperating with the rest of your body, still in a state of euphoria.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

Yuta picked you up bridal style, taking you to the bathroom, your head resting on his chest. You had never felt so loved.

"Give me your number? I promise we can sneak off to a date whenever I'm off schedules. It won't be that easy, I know."

"I'd like that."

"It's a date then. I hope I didn't disappoint" he smirked.

"I should be asking that. I was a virgin."

"Baby, I'm happy you chose me. And if I may add, you were amazing. If not for the security standing outside, I'd have kept fucking you throughout the night."

"Oh god, please don't make me blush"

"I'll make it up to you."

And he did. The next concert stop, you found yourself on his bed, naked, being ravaged by him. And the day after that, and the day after that. Soon the two of you were something more, and neither person could have asked for more.

Maybe reaching the concert venue too early wasn't as stupid as you'd thought.

[starlightkun]

⏯ teaser word count: 839 | full fic: 9.5k ⏯ genre: fluff, established relationship, band au, punk drummer!sungchan, sequel to filler episodes, reader isn’t completely boring anymore! yay!, she’s still figuring it out a little bit but it’s not a full-fledged quarter life crisis anymore, ft. shotaro/eunseok/wonbin as sungchan’s bandmates, and nct dream 00 line as reader’s normal friends™ ⏯ warnings: the usual cursing, and reader gets creeped on briefly in a scene but gets out of there very quickly, and that’s really it! if i missed any please let me know ⏯ extra info: this is the sequel to filler episodes, it cannot be read as a standalone! ⏯ estimated release: saturday, august 3, 2024 3:00 p.m. eastern time

At the end of the show, you were sat at the band’s merch table. In addition to being the de facto tour manager and photographer/videographer, you also usually managed the merch table for Roses for Eyes. The headliner had plenty of crew to spare to work it, but you wanted to help however you could, and this was honestly one of your favorite parts. Various members usually came to hang out by the merch table and meet and talk with the concert goers, and you loved hearing all the praise that was showered on the guys. Almost nobody had heard of them before coming to the concerts, but it made your chest puff up with pride at how many people stayed just to tell the guys how much they loved their set.

Roses for Eyes didn’t have a lot of merch. In fact, they had exactly one kind of t-shirt, and CDs of their one and only semi-professionally recorded EP for sale. Which made your job easier, you just had to either hand them a CD, or ask their size in shirt.

“Oh my god, you’re here too!” Your next customers were the women who you had spent almost the whole concert with, their eyes sparkling with recognition and delight at you.

“Yes, I am!” You laughed as one reached out to fix your hair. “I’m everywhere, I swear. What can I get you guys?”

They each got a shirt, and a couple got CDs too. As you ran their cards and accepted their cash, they raved to you about the show.

“You know, I’d never heard of them before this, but they were so good!”

“That’s what everyone says,” you replied with a grin.

“I loved the first song they played, that was like—” She started mimicking the melody, and you recognized it immediately.

“Ah, ‘Lonely as Mars’!” You perked up. “That’s one of my favorites.”

“What’s your favorite song then?”

“Oh, I can’t say.” You grinned. “It’s not released yet…”

They all laughed and giggled at this. One peeked at the track list of the CD she had just bought from you again before looking up at you. “Guess we’ll have to wait until it’s released then, huh?”

“Yes, yes, please keep an eye out!” You couldn’t help it, you were proud of your boyfriend and the rest of your friends.

“Alright, beautiful, we’ll stop holding up your line.” One of them chuckled, giving your cheek a final tweak before the four of them moved over to the short line to chat with the band.

You couldn’t pause on that moment for too long, as more patrons came up to your table.

Once people had finally started trickling out of the venue, and you had no line left in front of either your merch table or to meet the band, you were unsurprised when Sungchan pulled up an extra folding chair next to you.

“You know,” he let out a sigh, scooting right up next to you until your legs were pressed together. “I think we need to completely deck you out in Roses for Eyes merch from head to toe.”

“One, you guys don’t even have that much merch. Two, I think all that would accomplish would be making me looking like a crazed fan.”

“Aren’t you?”

“I am your biggest fan,” you acquiesced with a giggle at how serious he looked, squeezing his leg. “But we need security to let me in, you know.”

“What about a shirt with my face on it?”

“I think that’d be even worse.”

“It can say ‘CREW’ on the back or something.”

You laughed again. “I did tell that guy I was working, you know. Which did nothing.”

“I know, baby, I’m not mad at you.” Sungchan put an arm around the back of your chair, leaning in closer to inform you, “I was up on stage wishing I could’ve been kicking his face instead of the bass drum.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t hop off stage just to beat up somebody in the crowd.” You whispered back. “Even if it would’ve been deserved.”

“God, I don’t know if I can take another month of hearing you get hit on from right next to me.” He was presumably referencing times like now, with you at the merch table and him nearby talking to patrons.

“You think I like hearing people compliment your tattoos as an excuse to feel up your arms?”

“I don’t let them!” He protested. “And sometimes they do actually like my tattoos!”

“I know, Sungchan,” you snickered. “It’s hard being the hottest couple ever, isn’t it?”

“God truly gives his toughest battles to his sexiest soldiers,” Sungchan joked back, letting his arm drop down to your waist.

“Hey, on the bright side, tomorrow is the Venue:Hell show,” you reminded him. “I’ll have Jeno and Jaemin and my other two much less sturdy friends there. Not to mention Anton, Sohee, and Seunghan.”

He didn’t seem much happier about this, letting out a little grumble, “Mmm, alright.”

⤷ masterlist

[hanbinniesmango]

I was wondering if you do the opposite of your last post…we give you a member and you list what you think they’re into…?

only if you want to I just thought it was interesting!!!

if so could you start with jisung from nct 😳

omg nonnie ofc, smart🤭,,,

jisungs kinks

edging (m. + f. receiving)

i can imagine jisung restricting you your orgasm multiple times maybe for a punishment or just for his fun, the other way around i could totally seeing him enjoying a vibrator held to his cock, him wriggling and crying out of pleasure and frustration. him just begging you for a release while you still deny him.

noona/mommy kink

would def try to rile you up just so you would fuck him, or just to call you that to make you give into his daily requests. (newsflash, it works🫶🏾)

praise kink (m. + f. receiving)

would make sure you hear how good you’re doing, loves your reactions to his praise, he loves how your cheeks heat up at the praise. he feels the need to just let you know how good you’re making him feel. other way around, he practically lives to hear you call him a good boy, it just makes him feel so tingly and warm inside. if you praise him enough while giving him enough stimulation, he might just cum on the spot…

degradation kink (m. receiving)

he would blush so hard and get really hard at the same time if you call him mean things. something about the way you sound so disgusted in him just makes him feel so good inside.. if you ignore him it just makes him more needy for you, doing anything to show that he’s good, but you still call him bad names, he feels so aroused just by that situation alone..

slight voyeur and or exhibition kink

would touch you under the table at gatherings with his friends or members like I said last time, maybe go to the bathroom with you and fucks you, giggling at your loud moans. “shhh baby, we can’t be too loud…they’ll hear us..” he whispers to you before clamping his hand over you mouth. same goes along with him, if you’re touching his crotch under the table he’ll get so red in the face, and get so horny for you.

sensory deprivation kink (m. receiving)

would be so sensitive as soon as the blindfold is tied on, if you tweak his nipples he’ll full on jerk his body, whimpering out. he’d hear you giggle at his reaction and he’d get more embarrassed and turned on. if you start stroking his cock or teasing it, he gets so whiney, you’d have to tie him up to keep his long limbs from moving. he’d just be so sensitive, moaning and groaning at the slightest touch in his body.

send me a member(s) and i’ll reply with what kink i think they have🫶 groups include- zerobaseone, boynextdoor, nct dream, seventeen, and ateez!

[mixtape-racha]

jealousy, jealousy | bang chan

your boyfriend got a bit in his head when he saw your co-worker turn up for your tour rehearsals... but he had no reason to worry, did he?

words: 2.05k // warnings: a sprinkle of angst, jealous/slightly possessive chan, insecure!chan, idol!reader, actress!reader, idol!chan, overall fluff | based on this ask sent in by anon!

after the success of your latest drama, your company thought it would be the perfect time for you to embark on a world tour - fans were at an all time high and interest in your career, both in korea and globally, was soaring. you were of course elated at this - the idea of seeing so many of your fans across the world was mind-blowing and an opportunity you couldn’t turn down.

of course, that meant many late nights powering through songwriting, producing, choreographing and discussing visuals for how you wanted your concert to look. finishing a drama, releasing an album and embarking on a tour in the span of a few months was more tiring than you’d ever know your job to be.

sadly, that meant a lot less time with your boyfriend, chan, too. between your chaotic schedule, and stray kids preparing for a comeback, you barely saw your partner. the most you’d been in the same space in the last month was a few fleeting hours after he’d gone to bed and before you’d woken up.

while chan was almost completely nocturnal, you were undeniably an early riser. you’d always been more productive in the early morning, opting to finish your tasks as early as you could, as to enjoy the rest of the day. it was a strange combination, but it worked wonderfully. you balanced each other out in the best way.

so whenever you could, you invited chan to come and watch you rehearse. you also did the same with many of your friends, enjoying the fleeting time you got to spend in the same place at the moment, but chan was alway top of your list. some friends liked to turn up and surprise you too, appearing in the practice room or the venue you were rehearsing at to shower you with support and gifts.

just like today.

in your recent drama, you had played a florist who never believed in real love, being swept up into the world of a handsome model with whom she inevitably fell for. you were beyond lucky to feature in such a star-studded cast in such a respected and well-received drama, and even luckier to have someone like nct’s jaehyun playing your romantic counterpart.

the two of you had become increasingly close during filming, and you both walked away from set having gained a true friend for life. jaehyun was like a brother to you - worryingly because of all the fans of your drama that shipped you off-screen, and because of how awkward it made filming kiss scenes.

sometimes the enthusiasm of the fans wanting you to date got a bit much - you and chan were very open about your relationship, and you had made it very clear both publicly and privately that you and jaehyun were strictly friends. but that didn’t stop people from taking a sweet, platonic moment and running with it.

thats why you were kind of glad no one saw jaehyun entering the kbs arena, where you were currently rehearsing for your opening concert the next week.

jaehyun had walked in with a bunch of flowers and a smile while you were taking a break,and you were ecstatic to see him. it had been too long, in your opinion. placing down your water bottle, you jogged over to him, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“jae! what are you doing here?”

he shrugged, offering you the flowers - which you gratefully took. “can’t be in the gangseo district without coming to see my favorite florist rehearsing, can i?”

mood and energy skyrocketing, you and jaehyun sat down, digging into the lunch provided by your company’s staff, catching up on anything and everything worth gossiping about since you last saw each other.

unbeknownst to you, however, chan had also arrived just after jaehyun approached you, hoping to catch you on your lunch break and have a chance to eat with you. upon seeing you with jaehyun, however, he hesitated.

he knew that you and your co-star had become very close friends during the grueling months of filming, and he was more than understanding of it. after all, he had grown up with twice and was undeniably close to the 9 girls under the same company as him. so, he didn’t understand why his stomach flipped and his chest tightened at the sight of you laughing with another man.

you and chris had a very solid relationship. you had sat down and created boundaries and expectations before you even entered into your relationship 2 years ago, and you never had any reason to distrust each other. he also knew how much you had missed your friend in the months you had been so busy, and completely understood why you were so excited to see him.

so, he stood back and chatted with your staff, letting you have some time with jaehyun before approaching you. he was willing to wait, fighting to ignore the worming thoughts of anxiety in the back of his head. he wasn’t that kind of boyfriend, he told himself, so he had no reason to get upset.

laughing loudly to a story jaehyun had told you, you caught a glimpse of familiar blonde curls across the dining hall, heart jumping when you focused and realized it was your beloved boyfriend.

“channie! hi, baby! come here!” you called, unable to fight off a grin and blush when chan smiled and walked over to you and jaehyun.

“hi, babygirl.” he chuckled at your enthusiastic state, kissing the top of your head as he took a seat next  to you.

he was quickly dragged into your ongoing conversation, catching up himself with jaehyun and enjoying having some time with you. on the other hand, you noticed that chan was being a lot more clingy than usual - having a hand on your waist or thigh the entire time, and constantly leaning in to plant kisses across your cheek and head.

not that you were complaining in the slightest. it had been too long since you got to feel chan’s presence this close to you, and your heart was soaring at the mere idea of it. just having him so close made you decide to ask for a couple of days rest, and spend it wrapped up in his arms in your shared apartment. he truly was the love of your life, and you had missed him more than words could describe recently.

but something was definitely off with him. you and chan were known to be a very touchy couple, pda being right up your street for two people whose love language was physical touch - but this was different. this was like he was trying to prove a point. but, why would he-...... oh.

the realization that chris was jealous that you were spending time with jaehyun, while unnecessary, was actually very cute. you knew deep down the incessant shipping of you and you co-worker by fans got under his skin sometimes, but regardless you had a very solid relationship. so, in some strange way, you found it endearing that he would still get jealous.

after about an hour, jaehyun announced that he’d have to take his leave - he had a schedule with his group and needed to head back to his company - leaving you and chris to bask in each other for a bit longer.

climbing onto his lap, you curled up in your boyfriend’s arms, hands instinctively reaching to fuss with his hair. “i’ve missed you, honey,” you sighed. “been too long since i got to see you properly.”

“missed you too, baby. just glad i caught you when you weren’t too busy.” the smile on his face was soft, but there was a slight bit to his voice that he was sure you would miss - he wasn’t even intending for it to come out.

your eyebrows furrowed slightly, leaning back to look at his face, quickly noticing the sour expression on his face. something was clearly bothering him, between the touchiness and snappy attitude, but you couldn’t figure out what it was.

shifting your position so you were straddling his lap, you cupped his face in your palms. sighing softly, you stroked the frustration wrinkles out of his skin, concern showing on your face.

“wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, bubs?”

“its nothing, angel,” chan huffed, hands sitting on your waist. “just being silly and overthinking again.”

you wholeheartedly disbelieved that was the case, knowing chan better than he knew himself sometimes. racking your brain, you begged yourself to pick something out that could be the cause of his current despair. until it hit you.

“this wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with a certain coworker of mine, would it?”

when chris couldn’t hide the way his eyes rolled and ears flushed scarlet, you knew you had hit the jackpot. clearly something with jaehyun had upset chris, or even just slightly annoyed him - he was never any good at hiding his emotions.

“tell me what’s up, channie. i can’t help fix it if i don’t know what’s wrong.” you gently pushed, hoping he would cave under your proximity and allow you to share the burden of what was affecting him.

he was silent for a few moments, eyes screwed shut and his grip on your waist tightening slightly. then he blew out a breath, his grip loosening once again as he looked up at you with those big, brown eyes you adored.

“i just- sometimes i think the fans that ship you two are right. you get along so well, and seeing him surprise you here today just… kinda made me think maybe you would work better than us. and the thought hurt. i wanna be the one who makes you smile like that when i surprise you.”

chan’s confession made your heart drop. was he really that jealous of jaehyun and your friendship? had you done something to make him feel this way?

“love… you know you have no reason to be jealous, or upset, or worried? jaehyun is just a friend, and just a coworker. and you know i tolerate the shipping less than you do.”

you prayed that your reassurance would help, but when he simply shrugged you knew it was too much. sometimes chan’s anxiety got the better of him, and in those times it was hard to get through to him. even if he knew you were telling the truth, something in the back of his head told him that maybe he wasn’t good enough.

but you persisted.

“no one could ever compare to you, my love. you’re my hope, my light. and no matter who comes along, they could never make me feel as much love and appreciation as you.”

a small smile tugged at his lips, and you breathed a sigh of relief that your words were getting through to him.

“i know,” chris mumbled through his ambivalent expression. “i know, and i have no reason to feel like this. i’m sorry, baby, i didn’t mean to worry you, i just get scared one day you’ll realize you could do better.”

you both let out a little chuckle, amused by the way you were both talking like the end of the world was beginning. you softly kissed his full lips, with one last promise of forever in your throat.

“chris, baby. i get it. you don’t have to apologize. just remember that i got paid to kiss him as a character, while in character,” you jabbed him in the chest lightly to emphasize your point. “but you - not him, nor anyone else - you are the one i come home to at the end of the day.”

his face was flushed with emotion, shining through his eyes and into the way his dimples creased his skin as he looked at you with so much love you thought you would burst into a heap of fluff.

“i chose you, chris. i choose you everyday, and i always will.”

ears flushed slightly red, overwhelmed with your confession, chan held his hand out, pinky pointed towards you.

“we’ll always choose each other, yeah? forever. pinky promise?”

wrapping your pinky finger around his, you kissed his cheek gently, reveling in the way he smelt like home.

“pinky promise.”

taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @downtherabbithole01 @amara-mars @demetrisscarf

[ayyyoonohwhatimean]

jaehyun! as your boyfriend <3

pairings: non-idol bf! jaehyun x reader genre: lots of fluff combined with cracks!

hiiii! haven't written for jaehyun for so long and he deserves lots of love as always, so here you go! sorry for any grammatical errors, hope y'all enjoy reading this. happy birthday jaehyun! life might be full of stress, but with jamal, everything is going to be okay and we can always try again ♡ - N.

tuna tunAaaaaaaaa

yeah so let's get it

listening to y'all's favourite vinyls together is a must whether it's in the morning or late at night

if you guys are not at home don't worry he has his bluetooth speaker around him all the time hehe

oh!! lazy days with him is a chef's kiss

like you guys would do nothing at all for the whole day

but it wouldn't feel awkward at all like it's just a vibe bcus he loves his quality time with u

you guys would be trying lots of different kinds of hobbies and activities together too and they don't have to be the same all the time

like he would be playing basketball by himself and you would be sitting down looking at him playing it or doing something else

you could just lay your head on his shoulder and say nothing but his eyes would sparkle and his lips would rose into an idiot smile bcus hes in love with u

jae loves it when you play with his fluffy hair and squeeze his bread-like cheeks

would do the same for you too tho

u guys are besties in love with each other

he lovesss talking about random topics non stop and making random jokes from those memes that he suddenly remembers bcus hes purely random like that

he's a big big fan of inside jokes and memes

you could listen to him talking all day and night for hours (so do I)

imagine being able to listen to that rich deep husky colourful soft voice of him everyday i would instantly melt

he's so obsessed with you he would definitely spray his perfume on your (his) sweaters that you love to wear first before you could cus he knows damn well u love how he smells like

yeah yeah that's me jiteun nongdoeEe

jae wouldn't even hesitate to let you use his black card like on a one random day you found his black card in your wallet and you're like ???

"babe it's non-limit just use it for whatever you want to buy baby"

would buy you an airpods max headphone just so that u guys can have couple headphones together

might not look like he's into pda but he's soooo clingy with you whether there's people or not ehem (did you see how he hugged mark in their fact check practice vid-)

his lap is your favorite seat and it's free ♡

he's the type to play with your fingers and pull you into a very random but warm and tight hugs

he finds you so cute that he'd curl into a snowball and snuggle into your neck and be the little spoon in ur cuddles

lots of people find him serious and normal but nahh he's very goofy!! and no one is normal in nct ok

fact check

you can't mark me in your heart but u can mark my words

jae would spoil you with gifts too!! even if it's out of nowhere where it's not even your birthday or your anniversary

"I thought of you and got this for you" kind of guy

and also a "you told me you like this one last time so I got it for you" kind of guy

oh pet names!!

he would no doubt be the first one that made and saved lists of pet names for u in his phone notes

like he would get so excited and ask ur opinions on the pet names lists he's created while thinking of u

"what do u think of this one?? it's cute right?" "it fits u" "can i call you this?" "which one is your favorite?"

girlll you're my faaavoriteeeeEeee

"hey pookie bear"

"hey casper"

mirror selfies with each other!

he'd also have lots of your candid pics that he took and has it saved in his phone and film cameras hehe

would set your goofy pictures as his phone lockscreen wallpaper

there wouldn't be any days and nights where the two of u are not laughing, smiling and being random with each other

like being with jaehyun is seriously and genuinely full of pure joy and peace!! :')

might not have an ass but he's a competitive ass, he would neck slice anyone that comes in ur way trying to flirt with you

deep and heart to heart conversations with him would always feel warm, open and comfortable

he's your comfort, you're his comfort and the two of you would always feel so connected

would be the type to look into your eyes as he listens to you attentively while you're talking or speaking

like those kind of warm and lovely gaze

his ears would be burning red like cherry bomb but he doesn't care

also words of affirmation type of guy!!

loves it even more when you try to act disgusted by his romantic words

he would hold your hands while u guys watch a movie together and for the rest...I'll leave it up to ur imagination :)

random but fun and adventurous dates!! sometimes it can be a fancy dinner date but it can also be cute and fun like an aquarium date, food hunting, immersive art museum date or a chill picnic date at your shared cozy home

if you're having a hard time falling asleep, he would sing you lullabies or play that piano music box he bought in japan until you fall asleep

rockabye baby

he would be so so great at taking care of you! you're hungry? he's a great cook, you hurt yourself? he's running to you to save you although he himself is clumsy af

I feel like he's also very attentive and observant

for example, you're eating and the sleeve of your shirt is on top of your food, he would notice it and pull it up without saying anything

he's genuinely all smiley and laughing only when he's with you and his loved ones fr

some ways to make him all smiley and laughing? just imitate the way he laughs or the dance mistakes he made during their group performances (like yk the iconic favorite performance ;))

and he's a menace he wouldn't even hesitate to tease you back like how he would tease doyoung with jungwoo

the more you get annoyed by his teasings, the more he'll fall in love with you

loves to get nagged by you everytime u told him off about his cleanliness

and you can't stop him euhahahah

ay-yo

delulu is the solulu may your delulu come trululu

end of the surface just let the ride make it drive with its movEe

be quiet don't cry

[avianyuh]

masterlist

***this masterlist took forever because I had to scroll through SIX YEARS worth of work. this is the most updated masterlist on my page so use this one if you need navigation :) ***

Who I write for:

-BTS💣

-NCT🟢 (mainly anyone that was apart of NCT 2018, but if you want WayV, I can do that!)

-Seventeen💎

-EXO❌⭕️

-Enhypen -

-Monsta X 🫡 (but I'm emotionally scarred from Wonho so idk...)

UPDATE 02/28/2024: girlies i have nothing to say about ATEEZ anymore, it's just not gonna happen so I took them out of the ML😥sorry. BUT, I will now be adding *some* second gen groups because the fics are LACKING. I already said in the past I would write for SHINee and I stand by that! I just don't have much to write for them atm. Does anyone want a BF!Minho? idk...Who wants SUJU? Well, it doesn't matter cuz I do😁 I will also add Jaejoong from TVXQ/JYJ, not the whole group for TVXQ cuz I'm really only familiar with him and Junsu. I will also start up again with EXO so keep a look out if you like those fics. Anyways, this was just a PSA I wanted to make.

UPDATE 08/2024: FUCK SUJU, no I'm just kidding but....I'm not writing for them lol. Also, I don't see Shinee happening either. HOWEVER, I am thinking of adding Enhypen to my list of groups I write for! I have only written one fic (specifically a Jungwon fic), I'm currently writing something else for Enhypen.

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🔍navigation help🔎

-If a group is crossed out it means I no longer write for them

-Please don't be afraid to request something. idc if it's anon or not. if you want something written, just send in a request :) it will encourage me to get to whatever group someone requested faster. as long as they're mentioned above, I'll write for them (only because I like to be familiar with the members so I can write accurate depictions of them)

< >

📢Upcoming Works🆕

🗓️ yoongi fanfic (september)

🗓️ enhypen idk yet

🗓️seventeen idk yet

BTS:

BTS reactions:

🌱requested; bts reaction to you having diabetes and not taking care of yourself

🌱requested; namjoon taking care of his chronically ill girlfriend

🌱requested;BTS getting jealous over crush giving more attention to Yeontan or Bam

🌱requested; Giving BTS flower crowns

🌱requested: BTS accusing reader of leaking sensitive info

BTS HEADCANONS

🌱requested; BTS helping S/O with finals

🌱requested;BTS misses crush on tour but is too shy to confess

🌱request; BTS gets jealous and confesses to crush

🌱request; BTS comforts S/O who starts flunking exams

🌱request: BTS Suga, Taehyung, Jungkook and their pets

🌱requested: BTS as your brother

BTS AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱Hoseok/JHope

🌱Yoongi/Suga

🌱Namjoon/RM

🌱Jimin

🌱Jungkook

One Shots;

🌱Dinner Date, Jeon Jungkook

🌱Time Off; Jung Hoseok

Fics;

🌱Boring | Min Yoongi Chapters; TWO THREE

NCT: *in the process of finding new picture*

NCT headcanons;

🌱a soft day with nct part one (johnny through jungwoo)

🌱a soft day with nct part two (lucas through jisung)

🌱nct as boyfriends (johnny through jungwoo)

🌱nct as boyfriens (lucas through jisung)

🌱christmas with nct (johnny through ten)

🌱requested; how nct would confess to their crush (johnny through jungwoo)

NCT reactions:

🌱nct u reaction to meeting your parents

🌱requested; nct reaction to someone touching you inappropriately (johnny through mark)

🌱requested: NCT reaction to you asking to move in together

nct reaction to you thinking you're fat: 🌱yuta

🌱jaehyun 🌱mark

🌱taeyong 🌱johnny

🌱requested;NCT 127 commenting on GFs IG post

Individual member posts;

🌱dating jaehyun

🌱requested; dating mark

🌱requested; dating haechan

🌱requested; dating johnny

🌱dating lucas

🌱dating taeyong

🌱dating yuta

🌱requested; soft dom! winwin

🌱haechan request; idol reader

NCT MLTs;

🌱requested; NCT 127 MLT break up with current GF for their crush

🌱requested; NCT 127 give their ex a second chance

One Shots;

🌱making time;mark lee

🌱tattoos; Yuta Nakamoto

🌱'I'll Call You; Jaehyun' [part one] [part two] [part three] [part four]

🌱requested; Taeyong fic

🌱requested; Taeyong fic 2

🌱requested;NCT 127 group one shot

🌱deadline;Mark Lee

SEVENTEEN:

SEVENTEEN AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱The8/Minghao

🌱Hoshi/Soonyoung

🌱Jeonghan

🌱S.Coups/Seungcheol

EXO:

EXO headcanons;

🌱Oh Sehun as a boyfriend

🌱Baekhyun as a boyfriend

🌱a soft day with EXO (hyung line)

🌱a soft day with EXO (maknae line)

One Shots;

🌱insecure; Kai

🌱baekhyun request

🌱requested;baekhyun missing his ex

ENHYPEN:

Fanfics;

🌱Too Late; Yang Jungwon

🌱 Irresponsible | Lee Heeseung

MONSTA X:

MONSTA X AS BOYFRIENDS:

🌱Changkyun/I.M

SOLOISTS

Kim Jaejoong:

🌱Thank You For Waiting

*PAST WORKS/GROUPS I DON'T WRITE FOR ANYMORE*

DAY6:

Day6 headcanons;

day6 as boyfriends

One Shots;

'I Love You'-Jae Version

'I Love You'- Young K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GOT7

GOT7 as boyfriends

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TWICE:

TWICE one shots

Requested: A Trip With Jeongyeon

BLACKPINK:

BlackPink headcanons;

Jennie As Your Best Friend

*NON KPOP RELATED/MY OWN ORIGINAL CHARACTERS;

Root Beer Float

[tmzrkstan]

nct 127 as co-workers asking you out.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✦ warnings: a little bit of cursing.

✦ genre: nct x gn!reader, co-workers to lovers, fluff.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✦ Johnny:

•You had just transferred from another branch and was kinda lost with everything new;

•Johnny liked to call himself welcome committee leader;

•Then he didn't waste time and welcomed you with a list of the best places in town that you "must" visit;

•The fact that you spend the whole week laughing of his silliest jokes made him realize how pretty you your smile was;

•Got to the point where you two received bad looks from those who tried to concentrate and do some work;

•So you when you almost leaving for the night he asks: "What about giving them a rest and go out for drinking? I can show you one of the places I told you about.".

✦ Taeyong:

•You always felt lucky about the team you worked on, everyone was nice to each other;

•Even when there was a rare discussion it didn't last long, especially because of Taeyong, the kind guy you always looked up to;

•He just felt that him should make everyone comfortable and ended up leaving his wishes behind;

•One big example was that he had been trying for months to ask you out but always end up in a group date;

•Don't get him wrong, he really enjoyed those people, but on the other hand was into you for almost a year;

•Inevitably found himself way too drunk muttering his frustration about not being able to confess his feelings at the bar's table with your colleagues like "🥺";

•The next day he hardly has the courage to talk to you, but after realizing that his feelings were mutual didn't wasted more time;

•A few minutes before you arrived on your date, he sends a text to confirm if was just the two of us.

✦ Yuta:

•Beeing an foreign made him have a leg up on his popularity;

•Yuta was kinda mysterious about his personal life, which generated more whispers around the company;

•But somehow, he noticed you among so many people;

•You would been lying if you said you were never attracted to the mysterious japanese man, you just didn't spend hours talking about him;

•Which eventually caused a questionary from your friends in the cafeteria, like, how could you not be curious about Yuta, why didn't tried to get more information like everybody else;

•That moment was when the aforementioned man appeared out of nowhere confirming: "They gonna get all the information out of the source at our date today.";

•He gave you a winked and handed you a paper with his phone number, leaving behind a table freaking out on you.

✦ Doyoung:

•You were in a way the one working for him;

•Like, when he needed the product you sold he would just call you and meet with you to pick it up;

•You didn't approve of the idea of ​​a date because you might have conflicts of interest, even after he asked you a few times;

•"What you want me to do? Buy it from another person?"

•Until the day he asked to change the delivery location and you found yourself standing in front of a restaurant.

•"I can only pay you after you have lunch with me" he said, and you accused him of taking advantage of you;

•But anyways, you were already there so it would be okay to try, right?

✦ Jaehyun:

•You were sure he hated you;

•Everytime that he needed something from you he would go to your table you would get lost in your thoughts, why didn't he like you? Altough, you were intimidated by him.

•He wouldn't even look you in the face, barely spoke two words and when he saw you in the break room he'd leave.

•Jaehyun was waiting for you to finish analyzing what he brought you when you let out: "Why you hate?" without thinking;

•The conversation went like: "Sorry, what?"/ "What?"/"What did you say?"/ "What did I say what?"/"🤨"/"😐";

•That question hovered over the poor man's head the rest of the day;

•Next morning he approached: "I thought you didn't like me, when you started working here you always ran away from me, so I didn't mean to make you more uncomfortable.";

•You find it cute and admitted to feeling intimate thanks to his beauty and intelligence;

•No a long time after that he asked you out of nowhere.

✦ Jungwoo:

•You I had been teaching him something for days, and he never seemed to understand;

•Even advised him to ask someone else, as you were doubting of your teaching ability;

•But he always made a point of confirming that it should be you;

•One day, you caught him doing it perfectly alone and you went like "😲";

•When he came to you for help again you made him confess that he already knew what to do, and forced him to say the reason for the torture;

•"I was hopping this would made you realize that you like me and ask me out, but you too dumb for that.";

•A few days later, you find yourself having dinner with him, still indignant.

✦ Mark:

•The classic trope of long term friends that are secretly in love with each other;

•Apart from the fact that everyone has already noticed this;

•You always helped each other and spent as much time as possible together in a corner laughing;

•Even though everyone told Mark to come clean, he swore you had a secret life outside of work, maybe even married with kids;

•No one could take the drama anymore, so the team got together and forced you to go out together;

•When you realized there were only the two of you, you thought it was a personal joke, but Mark understood what he had to do;

•It took all night, but he finally confessed and asked you out on a real date.

✦ Haechan:

•You weren't enemies, but you loved to compete with each other;

•Even though it left you with your emotions on edge, your boss didn't care because it meant greater results.

•When you reached the same goal on the same day, you had to break the tie, this time with a prize;

•Unfortunately for your ego, Haechan won and for the prize you had to run out and buy him lunch;

•In the lunch room, you wish him a good meal sarcastically and he forces you to eat with him;

•"You so dumb, if you want a date just say it 🙄";

•"Then we're having dinner tonight 😉".

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

✦ author: first time trying it here! sorry for any mistake, english is not my mother language. Hope you like It!!!

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Hi hi! Hope you’re doing well <3 i wanted to know if you could write a small drabble with infatuation!Sungchan? Love your work!

Hi hi! Hooooooly it's been a while since I wrote anything infatuation related so yeah let's do it! Thank you also!

~

Infatuation AU Pairing: Yandere!Sungchan x Reader TW: Mild unsettling themes Notes: This takes place quite some time after Sungchan's ending but you can definitely read this without reading that.

Sungchan had this awful habit, you'd noticed as of late. When something would stress him out he'd run straight to you, tightlipped and with his eyes looking everywhere but to you. He was a nervous wreck, you knew this for a while now, and you also knew that you were a safe space for him, such was obvious.

And now, when he came back home, he was doing that habit again. He was with you but he wasn't with you, just keeping himself busy while occasionally checking if you were behind him. Right now, he's seated at the kitchen table, a small brush in one of his hands and one of your bunnies in his other as he brushes through her fur. You'd known as soon as he walked through the door that something had happened, and you'd been waiting for him to come to you, but he hasn't yet.

"Sungchan?" You leaned over to look at him carefully. You could tell he was listening to you. "Sung, I think you're being too rough with her," you watched the bunny squirm in his hands and, immediately, Sungchan ceased his movements. The bunny wriggled out of his grasp and onto the table. Carefully, you approached him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Is everything alright? Did you want to talk about it?" Sungchan didn't respond, but it was obvious that he was thinking. He wasn't looking at you either, instead, he was fixated on the bunny, who was looking for a way off of the tabletop.

"Is it..." he finally speaks and you listened carefully. "Is it suffocating in here?" He asks you.

"Well, if it is, we can just open a window," you say.

"That's not what I mean," he continues to watch the bunny hop around.

"I mean, we haven't really been out since we moved," you chose your words carefully, you knew how he was with you leaving the apartment.

"We have, though," Sungchan's nails started to dig into the pads of his fingers. "You haven't, though," he says. Your breathing stilled for a moment. "Did you... did you want to go out sometime? Alone, I mean," he asks.

This was a test.

"It would be nice, but are you okay with that?" You asked him. The last time you went out alone...

It wasn't good, let's just leave it at that.

"Yeah, I am," he says. He picks up the bunny now and places her on the floor. "I think it would be good for both of us," he says. Your shoulders fell slowly. "Go ahead," he says. "But don't be out long, please," he adds quickly after.

"Yes, yeah, I'll be home before dark," you nodded and bent down slightly so you could see him at eye level. "I promise," you held your hand out and Sungchan linked your pinkies together.

"You promised."

"I did," you leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. "I'll be right back," you said to him, grabbing the keys on your way out, he waves goodbye to you and you did the same.

You waited until you were a block away to be sure, though. And once you were? A huge smile rose on your face. You didn't know when you'd have a chance to be out on your own. Finally, you thought...

Freedom.

General Tag List: @stopeatread @bat-shark-repellant @raeincitizen @umbralhelwolf @yangsrose @kazooms @sadcoffeecritic 

NCT Tag List: @cherrylovr @minjiville  

Infatuation: @lune1897 @beefchippp @nawkamoto @shiningstar-byulxx @treasuretaeil @jaesspresso @huangberryyy @yutafrita

If you want to be added to either tag list or removed just send me a reply to this post, and ask, or a DM and I’ll add you as soon as possible!

[takiberry]

tbh I think Yuma is just always horny and he absolutely does not know how to control it. Like dating Yuma and him staying at your apartment would mean you're getting dicked down like probably multiple times a day. Like I feel like Yuma is also going to be able to get it up at any little thing, like you sit in his lap a bit too hard and he's just immediately like 'babe you gotta take care of this now' since you got him bricked up. He's absolutely going to follow you into the shower and if say he's not there and you text him 'brb gonna shower' he definitely responds with 'wtf what do you mean your showering without me babes', so shower sex would be a constant happening, like even if he's not horny in the moment, you say shower and he thinks of you naked in the water and boom he's horny now. You'd do it in the shower, and then probably end up doing it in the bed immediately after, and then probably end up doing it in the shower again, and at some point you end up on the kitchen counter, and then at another point you're on the couch. Yuma absolutely gives me dicking you down wherever vibes, he probably has like a list of places in your apartment he wants to do it, and will definitely try to get it out of the way in one night. Like he's gonna take it from the counter to the floor to the couch to the bathtub, maybe do it on your balcony if you let him. He's also the type to just get bricked up in public and probably fuck you in a changing room while shopping, like you were not even trying on lingerie or anything like that, but like you just looked so good, he couldn't hold it in anymore. Also absolutely the type to love car sex, like he can't wait until you get home, he'd just pull over into an empty parking lot and get at it. My Spotify started playing 34+35 by Ariana Grande as I was writing this, and just that song is his anthem, like 'Can you stay up all night? Fuck me til the daylight' that's how it is with him, you'd have like a ten minute break inbetween each round, but like he's immediately ready to go again once you caught your breath.

It won't be long and I will, I've just been writing some stuff first, that way people know my account is active, since the last thing I wrote was something for Sungchan back when he joined NCT, 3 years ago, I meant to just take a little break but then it turned into a long break, but girlies back and writing some things. Like so far I've written a Yuma fic, a Jo fic, and a Taki fic, and I'm working on a Sunghoon fic. They aren't smutty, but the Yuma and Jo fics are angsty, while the Taki fic confusing as fuck since it got to 8k and I wasn't really satisficed with it but I didn't want to rewrite it, and the Sunghoon fic is currently 51k and it's giving us e2l with a side of betrayal with a happy ending.

i have to make updates for no feelings intended but i have no idea what to make the double update chapters abt im gonna cry 🙏🏻☠️

but STOP THIS IS JUST SO YUMA, he definitely has a crazy high sex drive like nobody can convince me otherwise

[chcrryade]

CHERRYADE: TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE? It all sounds a little too perfect. Or maybe that’s just me. Song Kyumin. Jul 1, 2021.

JAGUAR have emerged from their year-and-two-months period of almost complete radio silence with news that has shocked many—or perhaps a little less than many, because you can’t really expect to rise from the dead and still have millions of fans at your beck and call, ready to lap up any scraps you throw them. A new boy group is on the way, and their name is CHERRYADE. Something too sweet to drink all in one go, but too carbonated to sit on the tongue comfortably after just one sip. It seems rather on-brand for a company that has so far fed us one group that hated their failed-actor-turned-idol newbie’s guts, one soloist who kicked the chair after one (1) album that tanked, and a duo who I’m still not sure were hate-fucking or making attempts on the other’s life every time the camera turned.

This time, though, they’re not unveiling their (sure-to-be devastatingly attractive) members one-by-one from wherever they’ve been hiding them, as per the last three attempts. Neither are they shoving their not-yet-debuted faces in our faces with too many social media accounts or mind-numbingly boring introduction videos. Instead, JAGUAR have made the decision to protect the idol-environment and reuse our past favourites, taking them from one unknown group to another. Aren’t we lucky.

This isn’t a new (or even particularly exciting) concept. You may recognise the formula from STRMRUNNER Media, who chose trainees from only the top companies to shove together in a now-superstar group named SO(U)L. JAGUAR CEO Ae Seungdae must have witnessed the success the seven have seen and decided he wanted a piece of the pie. They even share the same amount of members. But I doubt they’ll be greeting each other at any music shows or posting cutesy selcas on Twitter, because some of the boys selected for this ‘supergroup’ of sorts aren’t known to be the nicest.

First, JAGUAR reached out to FNC and asked if they would miss SLOW MOTION’s once-leader Kil Doyeon terribly. The answer must’ve been no, as he’s rumoured to be the appointed leader of CHERRYADE also. Next on the list was METRONOME Media’s Duan Jieyang (who was more commonly known as DJ, although it’s been said he’s long abandoned that alias) and Jeon Haeil from their group ALGORHYTHM, disbanded in 2019, who had been in hot water previously for alleged fights breaking out between leader Daehoon and youngest Levi—who, funnily enough, left the group and ended up in SLOW MOTION not long after.

The higher-ups didn’t have to look too hard for the next couple of members, as they were right there in their pockets anyway. Qiao Yijun and Ahn Jaehee (our aforementioned failed actor) from BONSOIR were next on the roster, and the general consensus on that was that it was certainly an.. interesting choice to make. They were the two that seemed to despise each other the most, after all. 

Next is one that may surprise some. Hwan Minhui (or GOGO, as many know and love him as) was recruited from SM’s much adored sub-unit NCT DREAM. Reactions were mixed, but the largest question of all was why. Alas, it doesn’t seem like JAGUAR is going to be holding a press conference anytime soon to answer that burning inquiry. Or releasing any sort of statement, either. There’s far too much on their plates for that—what with trying to get all these complete strangers to act civil with each other, and all.

The last member of CHERRYADE is the only new face that we’re receiving. Not much is known about him except his name, Lee Hasun, and that he’s the youngest of the lot. Let’s hope he doesn’t receive the same treatment as Jaehee did, because otherwise this ‘supergroup’ might last even less time than all of JAGUAR’s other ventures combined. And we wouldn’t want that, of course. Or would we? (Don’t answer that).

Whatever the public may think of them, the one thing that is certain is that JAGUAR won’t care. Their age old motto of ‘any press is good press’ has lasted them too long for them to be doing anything like reassessing their values or realigning their morals. Hell, some have even been saying that accused (or rather, known—it’s something of an open secret at this point) nepo baby BONSOIR manager Hong Jaeyoung has found his new place as CHERRYADE’s handler, so from that alone it doesn’t sound like they’re going to be off to a spectacularly great start public-opinion wise.

The group are making their debut on August 1st, 2021—a mere month from now. What they’re releasing is still a mystery (a single? An EP? A mini-album? I’m as clueless as you are), but what we do know is that it’s going to be called DOUBLE DIP. I can vaguely glean the concept they’re going for from the name alone. Teeth-rotting, sugary goodness. The type of stuff that makes your mouth feel heady and vision swim. Or your ears bleed, depending on your opinion on the type of music that JAGUAR has put out thus far. Their styling seems to be heading in the same direction, as the explosion of colour that makes up their seconds-long teaser video is reminiscent of a handful of candy scooped up into the hands of an eager child.

CHERRYADE marks JAGUAR’s fourth attempt at an idol presence. Most of the hard work has been done for them, what with them lifting most of the members from other groups, but that in no way means they won’t meet the same failed fate as all of their predecessors. I feel that most deciding to follow the group will be doing so more out of morbid curiosity rather than genuine excitement for the content they’ll produce, and music they’ll put out. Right now they seem more like a ticking time bomb set to explode in an array of violently bright colours and burnt sugar than a group of boys that’ll be loved by the masses.

But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe CHERRYADE will be the success JAGUAR has so sorely been wanting, and for more reasons than how many times they’ve been caught smoking, or leaving shady love hotels in the earliest hours of the morning. Maybe the seven will actually grow to like each other, and they’ll replace the previous reputation they held—of catty and spiteful boys who were there for the money and to make the lives of people they didn’t like as unpleasant as possible—with one that paints them as genuine, likeable people. We’ll just have to wait and see.

DOUBLE DIP. Whatever it turns out to be, it’s dropping August 1st, at 2PM KST. Do make sure to tune in, if you want to see what all the fuss is about.

Or don’t. I suppose I wouldn’t blame you.

S(O)UL⠀⸻⠀@syoul

[feverishly-kpop]

Chenle and NCT Dream - Not Wanting To Be Alone

It wasn’t that Chenle didn’t like living alone. In fact he loved it - the independence, no loud, messy roommates, extra space. The list could go on and on. But there was one caveat: Chenle didn’t like living alone when he was sick.

He hadn’t woken up feeling his best but, after a long day of filming, he was now feeling absolutely pitiful. He had secretly hoped that somebody would notice how pale he looked or how he shivered as chills washed up and down his spine but nobody had. Chenle couldn’t blame them though. They were all exhausted from back to back schedules and focused on themselves as they should be. And although Chenle was too proud to come out and admit that he was sick he also was dreading the idea of going home to an empty house.

“I’m going to come over tonight” Chenle told Jeno as they packed their belongings. It was far from being out of the ordinary for Chenle to invite himself over leaving Jeno none the wiser to his dongsaeng’s condition. Jeno only nodded, confirming that he had heard Chenle as they walked to the van to head home.

*~*~*~*~*~

“Please, can I shower first?” Chenle whined as the rest of the members groaned.

“If you really wanted to shower first then you should have gone home then came over here” Renjun replied with a shrug as he stepped into the washroom. They had all agreed on the order to shower earlier that morning before they knew that Chenle would be coming back with them so Chenle would simply have to wait his turn.

Accepting defeat he flopped down on the far end of the couch with his arms crossed, refusing to make eye contact with any of the other members. They all took notice, of course, but they were all too exhausted to say or do anything about it, a fact that only further frustrated Chenle. He knew he was being petulant and childish but he didn’t care. He was sick and he wanted to be grumpy and he wanted somebody to coddle him. And he wanted somebody to do it without him having to ask. Was that too much to ask?

“Want to play a game?” Jisung asked quietly, finally breaking the awkward silence after several minutes. Chenle just shook his head and rested his head on the arm rest. “Well then you can’t say I didn’t try” Jisung responded as he left Chenle, opting instead to wait for his shower in his room.

*~*~*~*~*~

As time wore on Chenle’s frustration was quickly giving way to exhaustion and discomfort much to his dismay. Jaemin was the first to sit down next to him, very much of the opinion that things were only awkward if you allowed them be awkward.

Running a towel through his freshly washed hair, Jaemin joined Chenle on the couch. “Stop being crabby. Everybody will be done showering soon enough. Jisung was the last after me, then it’ll be your turn.”

Chenle didn’t acknowledge a word that Jaemin said and burrowed his face further into the couch. Sure, he was still sour over having to wait for a shower despite how sick he was feeling, but at this point his eyes and head were pulsing with pain and the sound of Jaemin’s voice only made it worse.

Jaemin rolled his eyes. “If you were going to ignore everybody and be this way then you should have just gone back to your house. There’s more than one of us here, we had to learn how to share. Sorry that you’ve never had to learn that yourself.”

They were words spoken out of annoyance, Chenle understood that. But it still didn’t make them any less painful. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes, making him far too embarrassed to raise his head now. After a few moments Jaemin stood up and headed to bed, no longer interested in trying to remedy the situation with Chenle.

*~*~*~*~*~

By the time it was finally Chenle’s turn in the shower the rest of the members had already turned in. They all knew a volatile situation when they saw one and frankly nobody wanted to deal with it.

The silence made Chenle even more emotional than he already was. On one hand, without the chatter and sounds of the others rummaging around the kitchen the ache in his head had dulled a bit. But on the other hand it was an obvious reminder that he royally pissed off his friends.

No matter how high he turned the water temperature up he couldn’t seem to ward off the chill that had been coming in waves through the day. He trembled as the water poured over his head and his tears ran down his face. He couldn’t remember a time when he had felt so sick or when he had felt so alienated from the very people that he was closest to.

Chenle considered leaving once he was dressed. It was clear that there would be no games, no movies, no hanging out and joking around. The silence of his empty home would have been greatly preferred over the silence of an apartment full of people that were too annoyed to talk to him. Despite that, however, his body carried him in the opposite direction from the front door. Instead he found himself subconsciously gravitating toward a certain hyung’s bedroom and opening the door.

Standing in the open doorway he laid his eyes on his sleeping hyung, unsure if he should wake him or turn around and walk out before he could do any further damage for the night. But his desperate need for comfort pushed the rest of his thoughts away as he wandered toward the bed and pulled back the blankets to crawl in.

He could feel his hyung flinch in surprise before he rolled over to inspect who had taken up residence in his bed with him. For a moment Chenle was convinced that he was about to get kicked out, but then his hyung’s eyes focused.

“Chenle, what’s wrong?”

He immediately felt comfort from the Mandarin words being spoken by Renjun. Chenle didn’t respond but snuggled in closer to Renjun. Renjun leaned away from his touch making Chenle gasp lightly until he realized that he was just flicking on the small light on his bedside table.

“You’re eyes are red and puffy” Renjun said, his voice laced with concern. “What’s going on? Why are you crying?”

And then the tears started again.

Chenle hadn’t meant to start crying but between the care in Renjun’s tone and the relief he felt to have somebody paying attention to him, he lost what little control his illness had left him over his emotions.

This time Renjun sat up in bed and cupped Chenle’s face in his hands, trying to get a better look at him.

“Lele you feel so warm. Are you feeling okay?” Renjun asked, moving a hand to Chenle’s burning forehead. Chenle simply shook his head in response.

Renjun quickly pulled the covers back and left his bed before immediately returning with a thermometer.

“I’m so sorry” Chenle choked out, followed by a sob. Renjun shook his head as he ran a hand across Chenle’s cheek, catching a rogue tear.

“It’s okay. It’s no big deal. Let me check your temperature” Renjun interjected before giving Chenle a moment to catch his breath so he could slip the thermometer under his tongue.

After a couple of beeps Renjun checked the reading and sighed. “No wonder you were so cranky. You’re at 38.5°. Did you take anything?”

Chenle shook his head in response before leaving once again, this time returning with a glass of water and some tablets.

“These will help get your fever down” Renjun said quietly as he shook a couple tablets into Chenle’s outstretched hand.

It took a few more minutes for Chenle to calm down enough to drift back to sleep but, once he was finally out, Renjun dreaded the idea of waking him again by lying down next to him. Instead he grabbed an extra blanket from his closet and headed for the couch.

*~*~*~*~*~

Jeno was the first one up the following morning and was surprised to find Renjun asleep in the common area. Renjun was quickly woken by the sound of Jeno filling up the coffee pot.

“Sorry to wake you” Jeno said gruffly, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Why’re you sleeping out here?”

Renjun was about to respond but was interrupted the sound of an opening door immediately followed by an exhausted and flushed Chenle entering the kitchen. Jeno smiled sadly, immediately understanding what was going on, and stretched his arms out allowing Chenle to collapse heavily against his chest before wrapping his arms around him tightly.

“I’m sorry for being an ass” Chenle muttered into Jeno’s sweater. Jeno rubbed his back a few times before responding.

“Don’t apologize. But please tell us when you’re sick next time” Jeno said before clutching Chenle by the shoulders and looking him over. “Clearly no work for you today” he said with a degree of finality that had Renjun nodding in agreement.

“Hyung will get you back to bed, I’ll make you some tea” Renjun added, indicating for Jeno to put Chenle back to bed in his room.

*~*~*~*~*~

By the time Chenle’s tea was ready Jeno had gotten Chenle comfortable in Renjun’s bed again before checking his temperature and confirming he was still running a fever.

“Take a few sips, then back to sleep” Renjun instructed as he took a seat next to Chenle on the bed and handed him the mug. Once Renjun was satisfied that Chenle had had enough to drink he returned it to his bedside table and allowed Chenle to lay down next to him.

“I don’t want to be alone” Chenle said quietly, resting his head against Renjun’s chest.

“I’m not going anywhere” Renjun replied, running a hand against Chenle’s shoulder. “Now it’s time to sleep.”

[euseokz]

brie i deeply need to know more about your biases (from all the groups you stan, like, i just need to know your type in men......for reasons.....)

okayyyy so ! i'm gonna make a little list because i like lists 😋 if it gets too long its not my fault babie you brought this onto yourself ☝🏻 i also would like to point out that i don't think my biases are that good of a reference for my type . . maybe they are and i'm just blind to it but idk . . . anyways i'll list the ones that come up from the top of my head 🫶🏻

nct 127 - yuta ; nct dream - jaemin, jisung ; riize - eunseok, seunghan ; boynextdoor - leehan ; p1harmomy - jiung, intak ; nct wish - sion ; wayv - kun ; cix - jinyoung, hyunsuk ; txt - beomgyu ; ateez - mingi ; exo - chanyeol ; shinee - onew