#the laugh stand

[lastoneout]

I still think the single funniest thing about the cybertruck is that it has all those security cameras built in that are set to activate if anyone gets too close to the vehicle...and those cameras need electricity to run, and the cybertruck is a piece of shit that has way less battery life than you'd think, so you can legit just fuck over the owner by just standing near it and doing nothing else.

Like goddamn Elongated Muskrat found a way to let us siphon gas out of a car without even touching it. Fucking incredible.

[magspeaches]

Jumpscare

[blindinghope]

excuse my white trash boyfriend he's not house trained

[aster-draws]

Identity shenanigans are a hallmark of all superhero fanfictions and i will never get tired of writing them.

This is from chapter 19 of my fic Better Halves (and other such falsehoods) which is like 100k (so far) of Tim and Danny being idiots like this please go read it it's a labor of love.

just the painted bit below the cut :) if you want it

[vero-niche]

overall i really liked the first episode of delico's nursery but. but. as someone who knows nothing. about the theatre plays. i couldnt quite take the plot seriously when. the god of vampires/first vampire ever. has the most unfortunate abriviation of our time.

resulting in lines such as:

[blackjackkent]

I've lived in this cess-pit longer than you've been alive. We can compare stinks, if you would like?

[benevolenterrancy]

(Unseen Academicals, Terry Pratchett) I think Shang Qinghua and Ponder Stibbons should have tea and compare notes about somehow accumulating so much behind-the-scenes power by doing menial jobs no one else wants that they could basically run the show if they wanted...

meanwhile we have Shen "meh good enough" Qingqiu

[wastingmytimex]

[poomphuripan]

You think that it's YOUR chance? Are you misunderstanding something? This is MY chance. They sent me back to fix what I'd done WRONG.

MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.09

[greater-than-the-sword]

Legislative agenda:

Limit car headlight brightness to an amount recommended by eye doctors and traffic safety experts

Replace all prison lights with light posts that have caps

Cap all stadium lighting

Replace all public streetlights with warm colored lights

Limit brightness of all outdoor LED's (likely to a similar amount of lumens as the car headlights were limited to)

Create biannual event where city owned lights, including streetlights, and all businesses over 50 employees MUST turn their lights off for a dark sky night

maybe: Require all unoccupied parking lots turn off their lights 10PM-5AM

Proposed benefits:

Tourism

Education

Boost interest in the sciences and arts

Mental health

Physical health (eye disorders and reduction of sleep disorders)

Increased productivity of workers due to reduction of sleep disorders

The human experience

Eco friendly (Benefits animals)

Eco friendly (saves energy)

Cons:

Criminals target dark parking lots

Rebuttal:

Criminals can't target dark parking lots if they're all equally dark

[chaosmax]

Many thanks to @rewuyuu for the commission!

hello everyone do you have a moment to learn about Sampo and Jing Yuan friendship propaganda because IN THIS ESSAY I WILL--

(based on that one Jason Momoa meme, because this is so their energy)

Edit: said essay--

(obligatory these are just personal headcanons of a friend and mine other interpretations are valid)

-They both go :3 they are both some of the few characters that make that face and it is adorable.

-They both conceal their true deeper feelings behind teehee funny man/lax eepy personas [this is assuming the Funny Bone video is canon to Sampo. It was made for Hoyofair but Hoyoverse showcased it in the Live concert event so I consider that canon until Hoyoverse says otherwise]

-On the topic of that both had a tight-knit group of friends they hung out with when they were younger and were ride or die with. Unfortunately, this turned out to be die as all of their friends died (some of the HCQ are still alive but are either reincarnated or so changed/driven mad from Mara the version Jing Yuan knew had died) while Sampo and Jing Yuan were the only one out of their pals to survive.

-But both had to move on and continue to anyway, whether they wanted to or not

-Due to these things in common they would understand and relate to each other in a deep, meaningful way that few others in their lives could. There would be a certain level of liberty to their friendship because of it. They'd be able to release pent-up emotions and trauma as well as sympathize and empathize with each other. They'd be able to support each other and trust each other with the burdens of their pasts because of it. While not easy for these topics to come up initially, once they did they would find a safe space in each other for these topics. And from this would form a strong bond of trust.

-Not to mention Sampo would be a great way for master strategist ™️ Jing Yuan to keep tabs on what is happening throughout the galaxy in other places or gain valuable information for the Xianzhou Alliance. AND as Jing Yuan has expressed a lot his daily life is quite boring and loves to hear tales from the Astral Express's adventures he'd also love to hear all the wild antics Sampo gets up to because you KNOW Sampo has some wild tales to tell

-In happier news Sampo is very outwardly mischievous while Jing Yuan is also hella sneaky but in a different way usually. But when put together they bring out the utter gremlin in each other and are constantly messing with each other or having a prank war but it's all in good fun. It makes them both genuinely laugh a lot, breathing new life into their days.

-Also Mimi is either really affectionate with Sampo or bullying him (safely and gently) but it freaks Sampo out because she so beeeg. Jing Yuan finds it hilarious.

[cinematicnomad]

9-1-1 ▸ eddie's (only) on-screen first kiss + closest calls ↳ requested by @tawaifeddiediaz

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i've been asked multiple times for Awake Barnaby so instead you get messy lights out Laughingstock doodles

[wolfythewitch]

the bride in the ugly ass groom but with Penelope and Odysseus. Hear me out

This is Helen and Menelaus to me

[cornertheculprit]

currently the funniest idea running through my head is apollo complaining about a light flickering on and off at the agency and being like damn trucy doesn't mr. wright ever change the lightbulbs around here? and trucy just goes oh the lightbulbs are fine! that's just ms. mia saying hello :) and apollo is like WHO???? and trucy just looks at him like gosh polly don't you know anything? ms. mia! daddy's old mentor! the one who was so fond of mr. charley! and apollo tries to laugh it off and go haha trucy very funny you're not gonna scare me with ghost stories (<-very obviously quaking in his shoes) and right at that moment a stapler gets knocked off his desk and apollo screams so loud they can hear him from the prosecutor's office

[jelestes]

svu writers had no business writing this scene like they were a married couple arguing with their teenage daughter