#the last time was an accident but yea on me. the first time wasn't even me that was my brother (accident)

[keeps-ache]

guess who's computer is going back to the shop again! 👉 this guy 👈

[ink-going-insane]

random mystreet and diaries ramble time! specifically about travis!

travis is a really really important character to me. i probably oc-ified him in my mind on accident but iiit's fine probably. but either way he's really special to me with how his character is.

i'll probably end up rambling more about mystreet than diaries because i have more of a personal attachment to ms since that's what i mainly grew up with, so i'm sorry about that in advance ^^;

i'm also. putting it all under a read more because it's gonna get Long. so yea another warning in advance for that!

both in mystreet and diaries, it feels like travis tries to be a sorta comic-relief character at times to get everyone to smile and ignore their troubles. he does really stupid things to distract others from their issues because he's really big on having his friends feel better and happy. he's not the best at communicating at times, but he tries his best by just being weird and getting people to smile. his not too good communication skills do unfortunately cause him to use some of the...tricks he knows at Bad Times (one example being in diaries s2 when lucinda first sees her mother iirc) but he always means well and genuinely just wants everyone to be happy. even in the end of season 6 of mystreet, after everything that happened, the moment he was free and woke up and saw katelyn, he flirts with her in an effort to cheer her up even though they both just went through Hell.

travis is a really selfless character to me. in diaries, with the added s3 enki island lore, travis was essentially fighting a battle that No One There acknowledged. they all thought Travis was the cursed person causing the imps and all that jazz to show and he just. lived with it. he kept saying it was fine when his friends tried to defend him. and then there was the incident in the phoenix alliance island where people were scared of him and iirc he acted like it was fine but it really isn't but aaaaaa. and i'm so so so so happy with his choice after they got enki's relic. his choice to essentially discover himself and live freely without chaining himself down to another burden is something i will forever adore because he deserves it!! and i was so happy he saw that opportunity of freedom, to maybe feel the joy he's been wanting to feel for a long time. i don't know if any of this makes sense i really hope it does.

in mystreet travis's life is more...calm? i guess? there's the child experimentation that happened and then the whole thing of thinking his dad had two different personalities randomly with one of them being Horrible, which actually on second thought my irene does this poor guy still suffer. though we never actually really see any of it and only hear about his father's (well, michael's) negative actions (not including the child experimentation) Twice. once from lucinda talking to kim in s5 and a second time from travis talking to himself in the last episode of s6. he doesn't really talk about himself and instead opts for just vibing in the moment, and doesn’t mind listening to other's troubles.

it's obvious during pdh that he's pretty socially awkward, especially with having dante for a friend. and i think he was his only friend until starting high school where travis met aphmau and the others. like not to be rude but have you Seen dante. guy is a horrible influence. anyway so yea travis wasn't the best at communication, but this is also when he first manages to make someone Smile. he says some really bad pick-up lines to katelyn in s1 in an attempt to cheer her up after her break-up and it gets her to Smile and it distracted her from her troubles and that's when he realized that he can make others Happy with his shenanigans. and so he kept at it, because he wants people and those he cares about to Smile.

oh and quick (not quick i lied) side tangent about the Not Alone Buddies and also travis's role in the story of pdh. aphmau and travis's friendship is so so so special to me. partly because it reminds me of my own friendships vibe-wise, but also because of their special connection. i'm a bit upset that it wasn't expanded upon more during the main mystreet story but it does make a bit of sense since friendships can occasionally drift apart a little bit as you get older so the two of them aren't as close as they used to be. but i still wish they showed more of the closeness that Should Have Been There!! especially in pdh where he was set up to be sorta important! instead of opting for "here's a bunch of scenes with love interests for aphmau that you know aren't going to end up with her and almost nothing else other than strict plot mostly surrounding aphmau and her love interests" they should've had more scenes of her with her friends!!! and travis!!!! and also vylad!!!!!! because they became a trio after he transferred and that literally Never got expanded upon! i don't even think there's another scene of travis with vylad after their first meeting, i genuinely don't remember there being another one At All. maybe one or two? or just none at all and either way that's Bad. and vylad also barely has any proper scenes with aphmau also it hurts. this is a travis post but by extension it's also a Not Alone Buddies post because i love them forever and vylad should've gotten more screentime >:( along with a lot of the other characters they deserved so much more! and it really bothers me that they set up travis to be sorta important at the start of pdh, only to quickly demote him to side character and comedy duo with dante. it really hurts.

in main story mystreet he gets a bit more attention but it's mostly for a comic relief kinda thing at the start. the fact most of his character in s1 got retconned is really funny to me. anyway he gets character development in season 2!! he stood up for himself because katelyn was being Not Nice and i'm so proud of him for it!!! this is also when him being a creep mostly stops iirc so that's nice, but i tend to pretend the creepy scenes Don't Exist in the first place. anyway after that there isn't really much development for him iirc until season 5, though of course there's that nice fun scene in aphmau's year where michael says hello, but he shows up a lot more in season 5 and of course season 6. in s5 it's like "huh i have a weird voice in my head and i suddenly occasionally can't control my actions but surely it must've been me. oh well as long as it makes katelyn happy :)" and like. it's so precious he just wants her to be happy and it hurts knowing michael's intentions and stuff because in both s5 and the start of s6 he just wanted katelyn to smile and be happy and safe so he was okay with letting the weird voice do its thing as long as it helped. it uh. stopped helping after The Incident. but even when he was trapped in his own mind and forced to watch he wanted so badly for it all to stop because he didn't want his friends to suffer. he didn't care what happened to him as long as his friends would be okay, which is why his monologue in the last episode horrifies me. i read a theory that he's going to sacrifice himself to stop the rumored meteor in s7 and something'll cause everyone to forget him and i really really really hope that doesn't happen i hope s7 gives him an actual calming break in the end please.

i'll be honest i...don't know where i was actually going with this post. it just kinda happened. i was alone with my thoughts (bad) and i saw a post with travis on it and just went "travis :)" in my mind and the next thing i knew this wall of text got vomited onto my phone screen. thinking of travis will now be my comfort i guess?? i just think he's neat <3

[kkpaaw]

"This is just a random au idea that likely won't go anywhere"

So I'm a lying liar who lies

I immediately started thinking more into this au and I came up with somethings while I was workin

This post is mainly focusing on the F5 since they were the ones I was thinking about

I'll do another post on the ninja once I figure out whatever the fuck is happening with them

Firstly I wanna call back to the original post about this au where I played with the potential idea of turning the f5 into humans and the ninja into non humans,

I decided I'm definitely not gonna do that for 2 reasons

1. I mainly suggested the idea due to debating on changing their origins from the Wyldness to Ninjago(and vice certain for the ninja) since there isn't really any bug like folks or wolf like folks or whatever the fuck Zarkt is supposed so they would stick out like a sore thumb, however I decided against that after doing some more thinking and coming up with something different that I'll go into discussing in a bit

2. Someone brought it to my attention about the idea of this being interpreted as human=good and non-human=bad and while that wasn't the reason behind why I wanted to make them human, I do agree that it could be seen as that and I don't wanna perpetuate that belief even unintentionally so I'm nipping that in the butt now

So they will stay non-human which led me to thinking how they would end up in ninjago

I will admit it took me an embarrassingly long time to remember that there are ways to traverse rhelms with the help of specific items

So that is likely how the f5 will end up in ninjago. The help of some item or some other thing I dunno I'm still thinking of that but I'm not focused on that rn

Now i will say I can't really go into too much detail since we don't know anything about them. I can explain somethings tho

I wanan play around with hehe idea that the people of ninjago aren't used to seeing nonhumans around (especially ones that aren't evil) so when the F5 show up(all at different times btw) the reaction is what u expect. Panic, freaking out, running away, fear etc.

Reports staring going around about these monster looking beings and that if u spot them call authorities

Meanwhile the f5(who are all mainly kids like the ninja were btw) are just tryna survive in this new place they don't reconize

All these reports is what catches Wu's attention and he decided to see what it was about. His recent years were spent worrying about how to handle his brother and to find worthy elelntal masters to help keep ninjago safe and he wanted to nip whatever problem these so called monsters were in the butt before they got even more troublesome.

The first ones he finds are Nokt and Rox who are taking to petty thievery to survive. He takes one look at them and immediately knows they are not from this Rhelm and is shocked to see them.

The next he finds is Drix who was hiding out in the woods

The next is Zarkt and the last Kur (cuz of course their last we still don't know what they look like lol)

After coercing with each of them at least enough to where they sorta trust him, he took them back to the monastery for somthign to eat and somewhere to sleep

He had originally planned on just helping them find a way back home to their rhelm, but that changed when he discovered their elemental powers from an accident (rip to the bathroom wall) and their severe lack of control

These powers were some he had never seen nor heard

He decided then and there that he was going to help these kids hone in on their..very interesting powers and maybe with enough convincing he can get them to aid with keeping ninjago safe

Eventually they do agree with helping but only if Wu keeps his word nad continues to help them find a way home which he agrees to

Unlike the ninja the f5 definitely keep their identities a secret. For their safety

But yea what I had in mind for them. I can't be too explicit unfortunately since we know next ot nothing about the f5 but I say this is good enough

Keep in mind this is all jsutcme thro8ng whatever I thought of at the wall. All brainstorming nothing really official

So feel free to offer ideas or whatever I'm happy ot accept em

[satoaiandsonaze]

3 Gifts for My Queen

The day has finally come! February 14th = Valentine's Day! It's time for me to wrap up my Negaishipping short story with Part 3 titled: "3 Gifts for My Queen"!

What a day it’s been. From arriving in Wyndon so fast, thanks to Reshiram and Zekrom, to reunions with old friends, it was a lot. When Ash, Iris, & Drayton arrived in Wyndon City in the Galar Region, Reshiram and Zekrom flew away, and they were greeted by Leon, who was in complete shock from what he saw. After explaining everything that happened, minus the accidental kiss that Ash and Iris had, Ash and Iris reunite with Goh, who gave Iris a Dynamax Band as a late birthday present. She then introduced Goh to Drayton, who she explained was the grandson of Drayden, the Gym Leader of Opelucid City in the Unova Region, and her adoptive cousin, since she was recently adopted by Drayden. This made Goh freak out, but she then explained the whole story over some Sonia-made home cooking, which tasted outstanding to everyone sitting at the table. Afterwards, they shared all kinds of stories with each other, from Ash’s many adventures, to even Goh telling them all how he evolved his Grookey into a Thwackey, which he showed off while they were eating food and enjoying each other’s company.

After dinner, they all sat inside the Pokemon Center's lobby. "So, my party will be tomorrow evening, inside the new Battle Tower," Leon told them. "And while it's gonna be a packed house, we're all gonna have fun!" "So, go ahead and get some sleep now," Sonia suggested. "Okay!" the four kids agreed.

3 hours after, the boys were all asleep, but Iris couldn't sleep. She was too busy thinking about what to get Ash for Valentine's Day tomorrow. She remembered that Emolga requested that she make him chocolates but was still against that. "Can't sleep?" Iris heard a familiar voice from behind her. When she turned, she saw that Drayton was still awake. "Yea," Iris moaned. "What's up with you?" Drayton asked. "Still thinking about earlier today, when you kissed Ash by accident?" Iris could see that Drayton wasn't teasing her; He had a serious look on his face, and so was his tone. "Yea, I am," she responded. "I know it was just accident, but that was still my first kiss, and it didn't feel right." The two of them sat up in their beds. "Emolga, earlier in the morning, suggested that I should make chocolates for him, but the last time I did, he and my friend Cilan suffered badly from it." She then buried her face in her knees. "And now I like that little kid so much that if I mess up, I feel like I'm gonna screw everything up again." Drayton looked at his cousin. "Leon said Sonia's a good cook," he said. Iris looked at him. "Maybe you can ask her to help you out in the morning?" This made Iris smile a little. "But just remember...," Drayton continued. "If you really like him, then you can put all that love into making sweets for him. Then, I'm sure your chances of making such delicious treats are gonna be at 110%!" Iris's smile then got bigger. "Alright, I will!" she said. "Thanks so much, Drayton!" Drayton smiled back at his cousin. "Now, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow's the big day," he said. "Sure thing!" Iris responded. And soon, the two of them went to sleep.

The following morning, it was Valentine's Day! When Iris woke up, only she was in the room. After getting dressed, she entered the lobby, where only Drayton was sitting on a couch, eating some scones. He looked up to see her cousin standing before him. "Good morning, cuz," Drayton said. He held a scone in his hand and raised it to Iris. "Want one?" She then slightly smiled. "Morning, Drayton," she said, walking towards him. "And yes, I would like a scone." She took the scone. "Where're Ash and Goh?" she asked, while eating the scone. "They were the first to wake up," Drayton responded. "They told me they had something they wanted to do together. So it's just you and me for now." He then stood up. "Why don't we find Sonia, and ask her to help us make some chocolates for the Monarch?" She then remembered what they discussed last night. "Sure! Let's go find Sonia!" she said.

Speaking of Ash and Goh, they were the first ones up, and they decided to find work together so that Ash could find a good Valentine's gift for Iris. "Why are we out here, and not in a shop, if we want to get Iris a Valentine's gift?" Goh asked. "Because I want to give her a new Dragon Pokemon as a gift," Ash said. While looking around, the two spotted a couple in the open field. Looking through the bushes, they noticed the boy gave the girl an apple, or more so, an apple-looking Pokemon. The girl then cried, which lead to her hugging him and kissing him. "What's that all about?" Ash asked. "That is an Applin proposal," a quiet voice responded. Ash and Goh turned their heads to see a boy around the age of 18 peeking through the bushes. "An Applin proposal?" Goh asked. The boy turned his head towards the two. "Yea," he responded. "When someone gives an Applin to someone they like, they're practically proposing their love." "Wow!" Goh exclaimed. "And that's not all..." the boy continued. "The person who proposes will know that they're feelings are reciprocated. Watch." He then pointed at the couple. They all watched as the girl gave her own Applin to the boy, and he accepted it with hugs and kisses. "Ah," Goh said in amazement.

The boy went on to tell them that he was the older brother of the boy who proposed and explained why it's an Applin you give for a confession. "That makes so much sense. I'll have to share this information with Project Mew," Goh said. "Thanks so much!" "No problem, the boy responded. "C'mon, Ash, let's -" Goh didn't finish because he realized that Ash was missing. After 5 minutes of looking around for him, Ash appeared in front of Goh, holding three Poke balls in his hands. "Hey, Goh!" Ash said. "I've got what I'm looking for! Let's head back to the Pokémon Center!" As Ash started to make his way back to the Pokémon Center, Goh stood in shock and slightly in annoyance. "Did you just ignore everything that boy said!?" he said in his head.

"Do you think that I did a good job?" Iris asked Drayton, walking back to the Pokemon Center with a heart-shaped box in her hands. "Of course you did!" Drayton responded. "You don't see me clenching my gut in pain, do you?" "Touche." The two Dragon cousins spent all day with Sonia, learning how to properly make delicious chocolates. And after 15 attempts, Iris finally a batch that she was confident in giving to her crush before they had to go to the Battle Tower for Leon's Valentine's Party. When they got to the Pokemon Center, Ash and Goh were already standing there, talking to each other. They immediately turned to the two Dragon cousins when they heard the door open. Ash and Iris stared at each other for a few minutes before, Goh and Drayton broke the silence. "Go ahead. Do it," they said to their respective partners. They then walked over to each other. "So, are those chocolates?" Ash asked. Iris blushed in embarrassment. "Um, yea," she stuttered. She then handed the box to Ash "And they're for you!" Ash took the box, opened it, and saw a set of fine chocolates all arranged neatly. He then took one chocolate and ate it. As soon as he popped it in his mouth, Iris turned away in embarrassment, hoping for a good answer. And she got it. "Wow! These are so good!" Ash exclaimed. She then turned towards Ash again. "Really?" she asked. "Of course!" Ash confirmed. "Definitely better than last time! You've really improved since then." "Well, I didn't do it alone. I had Drayton and Sonia help me, and it took 15 sets of chocolate ingredients," Iris said. Drayton smirked. "Well, it was worth it!" Ash said. Iris then smiled and let out a small chuckle.

"That reminds me," Ash said. Iris then watched as Ash pulled out three Poke balls from one of his jean pockets. He then handed them out to her. "What's this" she questioned. "I caught some Dragon Pokemon for you to add to your Dragon Squad," Ash replied, with that same goofy grin, but with some blush in his own cheeks. "Aw! Thank you, Ash!" Iris then took the three Pokeballs and connected them to her Rotom Phone. Little did she know that her Rotom would say...

"Applin has been registered to your Pokedex!" Iris paused in confusion for a few minutes. "Did my phone just say 'Applin'?" she thought. Everyone who was inside the Pokémon Center was shocked, even Sonia, who just entered. She opened the Poke ball that her phone touched, and - wouldn't you know it? - an Applin emerged from it. Tears were staring to build up in her eyes. "Are the other two Poke balls holding Applins, as well?" she asked. Ash nodded his head. She opened the other two Poke balls, and Applins emerged from them both as well! Iris was having a hard time trying not to cry. Drayton eventually broke out of his shocked expression. "I think I know what this means...," he whispered in her ear. Iris then looked up at Ash, with a smile as goofy as his when she removed her hands from her mouth. "Happy Valentine's Day, Iris!" Ash said, smiling back at Iris. She then closed her eyes, then opened them back up, rushed towards Ash, hugged him, and gave him a proper kiss on his lips. Ash was somewhat shocked, but eventually, kissed her back. Drayton began to clap, followed by Goh, then Sonia, then Nurse Joy, and then everyone else in the Center. After they separated, they looked each other in the eyes. "You have no idea what you just did, don't you, Ash?" Iris asked. "No, I do," Ash responded. This shocked Iris. "I learned all this Applin proposing from a boy who was watching his younger brother propose to the girl he likes earlier today. Me and Goh both." They both turned their heads towards Goh. "He's not lying," Goh confirmed. "Although, you walked off while he was explaining that to us. I thought you didn't care for that stuff." "No, I really don't. But I knew what to get Iris for today as a present after I looked up that Applin was a Dragon type." He then turned back to Iris. "And yes, I knew what I was doing, because...," Ash stated. "I really love you, Iris. With all my heart." This made Iris cry tears of joy, in which she buried her head in his chest. His shirt was now wet with tears, but Ash didn't care, as he now said the biggest sentence of his life.

After 5 minutes, Iris looked up at Ash. "Guess what?" she asked. "I don't need an Applin to tell you that I love you, too, Ash Ketchum. Those chocolates are my proposal." They then pressed lips for another kips. After 30 seconds, they released. "So, you want to go out with me?" Ash asked. iris looked at him with a smug smile. "Of course I do! You really are such a little kid, aren't ya, Ash?" After that, they heard some clapping from the doorway. They turned their heads to see Leon, congratulating them for their proposal. "Congrats, you two!" Leon exclaimed. "Thank you, Leon," they both said. Leon smiled, holding Sonia in his own arms. "Now, why don't the four of you get dressed?" Leon proposed. "I picked out some proper outfits for you while you out doing your own things today. Get changed, and then we'll make our way to the Battle Tower."Okay!" Ash, Iris, Goh, and Drayton said at the same time. As they were walking back to their rooms, Drayton came up and side-hugged his cousin. "Good job, Iris!" he said to his cousin. "Thanks, Drayton," she said.

After 15 minutes, they got into their tuxedos and dress, and using their own flying Pokémon, they made their way to the Battle Tower. There, so many people were there, partying. From the Gym Leaders, to the Masters 8 and many other famous faces from Galar, everyone had a great time. After a great night, the four kids returned to the Pokemon Center. After changing into their PJs, they all clocked out. Well, not all of them yet...

Ash would still feeling good that he proposed to the one girl he had a crush on for so long, and he got the chance to dance with her that same night. Ash was still too lost to realize that Iris climbed into his bed. He only snapped back to reality when he felt something from behind grab him. He then turned, and then saw Iris in his bed, which made him blush. "What're you doing?!" Ash asked in shock. "I'm your girlfriend now, silly," she replied. "Shouldn't we sleep together on our first night as a couple?" Ash agreed. "Well, there you go," he said. "What do you mean?" Iris asked. "An amulet, some Applins, and a proposal," Ash answered. "Those are my three gifts for my queen!" This made Iris blush, giggle, and pull her new boyfriend in for the last kiss of the day. "Happy Valentine's Day!" they said to each other after separating their lips form each other. And then, they both fell asleep!

It's finally done! I finally finished my f***ing Negaishipping story. Once again, this story stretches from Iris's Pokémon birthday to Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy this! Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends on Tumblr!!!

To @moonxpalace, the proposal was an inspiration to my request last year and the pic you drew for Valentine's Day last year! I hope you like this!

I still haven't forgotten what you did for me and @zeldriszezinho for Valentine's Day last year. Thank you once again for this, and for inspiring me this year! I'll always treasure you as my closest friend on Tumblr!

[destinyc1020]

The Austin/Kendall thing is so random and sounds like total bullshit. Sadly there are still people out there who believe it without any proof.

Deumoxi mentioned she has gotten a few anonymous messages regarding Austin in the last few days. It's been Zoe Kravitz, Emily Ratajkowski, and now Kendall? Which just proves it's all made up.

Someone is working extra hard to make Austin the bad guy. While a certain nepo baby has actually been photographed with multiple different guys. BEFORE it came out she and Austin split....just saying.

Something fishy is going on.......who knows maybe it's just a bitter Kaia stan mad Austin dumped her ass. It's not the first time fans have sent in random fanfic stories.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees this as bullsh*t. Like you said, most of these rumors only started coming out AFTER it was announced that Austin is now single.

First, her anons tried to say smthg was going on between Austin and Zoe.... and, who knows? Maybe? I wasn't thinking anything at first, but her accidently following and unfollowing one of his fan accounts made me go hmm lol... 🤔 But still, no REAL proof of anything going on btwn them.

Then, just this week alone, deuxmoi's anons have claimed that now Austin has something going on with Emily Rata-whatshername. 🙄

Then, just yesterday, it's like, oh no, Austin is really secretly seeing Kendall Jenner. 🥴 Like, what?

Pretty soon, by the end of this month, people are going to have Austin linked up to every single celebrity woman in Hollywood! 🙄

Will y'all leave this man alone? He's just trying to live his life, do his work, and enjoy his friends and family after a breakup. 😔

I swear, the way people make up straight up LIES about Austin all 👏🏾 the 👏🏾time 👏🏾 on the internet really should be studied. Like, there's absolutely NO PROOF of anything these people have claimed for years, and yet, people still believe baseless rumors. 🙄

One thing I'll say though is, at least people are choosing women to gossip about that are at least close to his own age lol. 🤭 Those age ranges would be best for him to date.

Someone is working extra hard to make Austin the bad guy. While a certain nepo baby has actually been photographed with multiple different guys. BEFORE it came out she and Austin split....just saying.

THANK YOU!! 👏🏾

They need to be speculating about HER love life, since she's the one who's actually been out here spotted with every Tom, Dick, and Harry for MONTHS! 😂

I'm telling you, deuxmoi has always been very biased about this relationship (if you can even call it that 😒), and she favors and protects Kaia ALL the time. She even tried making excuses for her when the Marcello sighting and photos came out. 🙄 Even though, that looked sus asl for a woman who's got a bf. 👀

I'm just gonna assume now that Kaia and Austin were already broken up by Sept, cuz her behavior was just straight up wildin' for a woman with a bf. So, I think she had already gotten dumped and was just acting out and rebounding with every guy in town rofl.

Something fishy is going on.......who knows maybe it's just a bitter Kaia stan mad Austin dumped her ass. It's not the first time fans have sent in random fanfic stories.

Yea girl, people make stuff up into deuxmoi all the time. They even brag all the time about creating fake stories on group chats and sending them in to see which ones she'll actually post.🙄 It's a mess.

That's why I take things on there with a HUGE grain of salt.

Unless there are pictures, or a post sent in sounds very credible, I always go 50/50 on whether I believe it or not.

And yea, maybe Kaia's 5 fans or the 3 Kaustin shippers are just sending in fake stuff coz they're bitter lol. The same thing happened with the Vanessa breakup too. Just a bunch of lies people made up all the time. Fans act more mad about a breakup than the actual woman involved in the breakup!

And with Austin and Vanessa, we STILL don't know who broke up with whom! At least with Kaustin it's pretty clear that Austin broke up with her. But with Vanessa, we don't even know. 🤷🏾‍♀️ All people do is speculate and make up stuff. 🙄

[quarks-pussy]

Lower Decks 4x09 spoiler and theorising about finale

Originally I sent an ask to someone to get a second opinion on this soon after I watched 4x09 but it doesn't look like he'll publish it in time so, considering there's less than 9 hours left as of the writing of this paragraph, I'll just post this without someone looking it over. Keep in mind I haven't watched The First Duty and this is about to be very speculative and frankly a lil crack-y

So, a lot of folks, now more than ever, have been theorising about the presence of some sort of relation between Nick Locarno and Tom Paris. But one thing I haven't seen anyone else suggest yet is the idea that one is a transporter clone.

Their backstories diverge shortly after the accident(s) they caused so perhaps they got split in two very soon after it happened and since that meant they technically both committed the crime, Starfleet ended up putting them both on trial, separately.

But of course while Tom accepted responsibility, from what I've seen (again, haven't watched The First Duty) Nick didn't. As a consequence, while Tom was given a second chance on Voyager, Nick wasn't. So that made him extra salty of course.

Especially if - and this part's truly out there, be warned! - Tom is the clone. I have no evidence for this, I just think it's the angstier option so of course I prefer it because it would mean that the thing anyone with a transporter clone is afraid of happened to Nick: The clone was better than him and took over his life. Which would mean potential stuff for him to bond over with Bradward (specifically using his first name this post because... well, you'll see)

Obviously this doesn't immediately check out since Tom and Nick have different last names and also we only have a named parent for Tom and he has Tom's last name so logically, if anything, Nick would be the clone, but I think this can be handwaved and/or retconned and I kinda hope they do because this would fuck me up for real and be one of like 0.5 ways to make me sympathise with Nick at this point.

Also, and this one's not even weird theory anymore, this is pure fanfic, I hope Nick and William Boimler team up and also run off to get gay married at the end. Brad takes this as an opportunity to realise he's not straight.

Yea anyway just some word vomit lol what do y'all think

[nono-uwu]

(Reupload bc a whole 20 hours later and no notes?? Is it that bad)

Anyways, 2nd ons oc yippeee

Lore utc yea

So this time our story starts in 80s japan! Where, for lack of a better word, a very average girl was born. Or is she average? Well,,,,,

Anyways, Yua had a normal upbringing. Two loving parents with stable jobs, rich overseas relatives that spoiled her rotten whenever possible (ok that's not that normal but whatevs) and a few friends in school.

Things changed when in her last year of middle school her parents announced that they were moving to their relatives overseas. Yua did not want that. At all. While she tried to convince them, the move has already been planned and plane tickets were about to be purchased.

Two days later, in a moment of intrusive compulsion, Yua pushed her father down the stairs. It was supposed to be just a little push, maybe to sprain his ankle and to delay the move but as fate would have it, her father almost died in that fall. Her mother, obviously horrified, declared then and there that Yua wasn't her daughter anymore. Her father ended up in a nursing home due to lasting damages after the fall and her mother moved and left Yua alone.

Yua's living expenses were afterwards payed for by her overseas family and she could stay in Japan.

Come high school, Yua was once again a normal student who happened to live alone, the accident having been buried and chalked up to an unlucky slip. She was decently popular thanks to her good grades and outgoing attitude but somehow never made any lasting friendships. Except that one time...

Yua noticed a rather peculiar classmate of hers. He had ginger hair, always wore a hood and barley ever spoke to anyone. If he spoke he was generally rude, wasn't in any club, every break he'd disappear onto the rooftop and bolted straight home at the end of each day. He never did any homework or participated in projects but still passed each class. She was intruiged. How could such an asshole exist?

To investigate, she examined every nook and cranny of the rooftop and stumbled upon the tight space between the back of the little building door thing that leads up to the rooftop and the fence which was the ginger's hiding spot. She tried to strike up conversation until the guy had enough and rudely told her off. "You're better off not talking to me. I'm always alone for a reason." Oh great, he's fucking emo. Though this didn't dissuade Yua, if anything she was determined to get this guy to talk to her. As a fun experiment.

A few months of constant perstering later, she finally got his first name (because just looking at the class list would have been too easy). Literally Mistake. No wonder he's like that.

Almost half a year later, Yua got Machigai to open up a little and the two hit it off. They ended up very close friends, some even assumed they were dating (they're both gay so they just found it funny).

At the end of high school, Yua was terrified. Terrified of losing the one friend she had, terrified of all the change that was inevitablely going to occur. Her fear got even worse when Machigai straight up disappeared after graduation. She didn't know what to do. She hasn't applied to any colleges, she hasn't thought about her future at all.

In a slight crisis, she visited her relatives overseas, maybe make amends with her mother. Unfortunately, her mother was unwilling to see her, believing her to be a ruthless monster. Yua continued to travel around for a bit, in a desperate attempt to figure out her future. When she returned to japan, she was just as lost as when she left.

A few years and multiple jobs later, she accidentally stumbled upon Japan's undergroung magic government (or something like that, I only skimmed cat16 lol) and it suddenly hit her. She doesn't have to accept change or make rash decisions about her future if she's immortal, right? Plus this way she might be able to seek out her old friend again (because there is no way that guy is just a normal human).

Some convoluted shenanigans later she struck a deal with the Hiiragi family. She would offer herself up to be experimented on for the development of cursed gear (they were working on that right) for a chance at immortality (except she just gave some vague reasoning on what she wants lol). And once again, as fate would have it, she would get her wish fulfilled in probably the worst way possible.

One of the demons up for grabs (lol) was one nobody was really sure of how it got there or how it precisely worked. It was a set of 6 rings and it was supposed to be a very furios demon, as it possessed and killed anyone who tried beforehand.

Yua took the gamble and she was greated by a... kid? The demon had the form of a human, probably around 11 years old. "Hello, human. Lemme just...", before Yua could react, the demon had already pierced her heart and looked inside.

"So you want immortality? Wow, super original. Scared of change? Boring! Oh well, you do have some amazing greed so I'll consider it. Tell me, what will you give me in return?"

"Huh?"

"hUh? I was crystal clear. But since you're stupid, I guess I'll give you a hint: Your desires and greed alone aren't enough to satiate me if you want to be immortal. You have to give me another thing for that to happen"

"...like what?"

"Ugh, isn't it obvious?! Your sanity, your emotions, your eyesight! Anything goes!"

"Then... what about my tears?"

"Tears? Oh like your abilty to cry... that should work. So deal?"

"What would happen to me if I accept?"

"How should I know?! You'll just have to wait and see! So are you up to it? If you say no you're dead anyways."

"Fine. I accept."

And thus, Yua's new life began. The demons powers granted her some sort of razor sharp physics-defying, almost spider web like, string that would become uneffective against anyone wearing one of the rings allowing for a more supportive use. She spent god knows how long training with and without the rings (that's how she got those scars) and any time not spent training was spent studying magic n shit. She became highly proficient in spells and yeah. (Muh brains dead rn i'm sorry)

As for the no tears thing... it's not great. Her eyes still self-lubricate to get debris and whatnot out of there if needed, but no tears for anything else. But to still process intense emotions, Yua has different reactions. If she's sad/angry/[other negative emotion] she feels physically ill. Sometimes to the point of having to throw up. If she's very very happy/relieved, it makes her unable to stand still. So in order to avoid the more negative effects, she learnt to surpress most if not all negative emotions, at least to the point where she doesn't feel ill anymore. Unfortunately, this led to all her emotions getting dampened which leads to her coming off a insensitive sometimes. She also often forces a more positive emotion out of negative ones or straight up ignores them to avoid feeling ill.

Fast forward to the apocalypse and Yua was promptly put into the JIDA. During the first-ish years she was often sent out to rescue people and to help train up soldiers. During this time she rescued and pseudo adopted a boy who miraculously survived the initial catastrophe (he is the 3rd major oc. I lied her and his demons are also more fleshed out but ahem anyways more on the lil guy later).

During all this she was still determined to meet Machigai again, if possible. She went digging in the army's archives and lo and behold, she found the ginger. In the documents he was classified as M.I.A., namley kidnapped and held captive by vampires. Yua brought this up with the top brass and they allowed her to conduct a search and rescue mission for Machigai since the JIDA realized he'd be a useful asset. Except she had to do it alone.

So Yua yolo'd into vampire teritory up until Nagoya, making sure to draw enough attention to herself without getting caught.

The sudden disappearance of soldiers was obviously enough to draw the attention of the ruling vampires in Nagoya, namley Crowley Eusford. At the mention of "a woman with long dark hair" Machigai uncharacteristically volunteered to take care of the disturbance. While it was highly unlikley that it really was his friend from over ten years ago, he wanted to at least make sure it's not really her.

Aaaand they meet again. Dramatic reunion ensues. Machigai is so confused and shocked and Yua couldn't be more relieved at the sight of Machigai in that uniform. She gave a very simplified version of how tf she looks that young and is still alive while Machigai also fessed up about what is up with him.

Machigai broke down a little and pleaded with Yua to run away with him and to leave everything behind. Unfortunatley she couldn't agree but she promised to visit again, consequences be damned.

Yua stuck around the area for a little more to hopefully lure out the big fish himself. Crowley did show up (for reasons that I'll expand on later adnwgjnhr) and in Yua offered her deal (see doodle page): Crowley let's her, yk, live and in return she gives him some key information about the ginger enigma (Machigai). Crowley accepts (reason will be explained later. again. I'm sorry) and Yua gets to live. Hurray!

Once she gets back to the JIDA base, her 'treason' gets exposed and she is thrown into jail! Except she manipulates her way out of severe consequences and the lil guy she helped vouches for better treatment.

Yua keeps her promise to Machigai and a few weeks later she shows up in Nagoya again! Except this time in her fresh new outfit (it's literally the demon army uniform without the coat and like, 10% more sexy. slay.).

Some shenanigans later and she is now a frequent guest at Nagoya City Hall and everyone just kinda got used to her, especially since she often brings some juicy intel with her (and snacks for Machigai). Hell, even Ferid got aquianted with her and let her be because she's fun.

I honestly don't knew where to put this but anyways, Yua develops a massive crush on Horn. Yea

[tinyglitterrose]

Does It Hurt? - Part 1

Lashton, boyxboy, 18+

Bottom Ashton, Top Luke

Warnings: SMUT, Watersports

Summary: Luke finds out Ashton is into watersports. That's basically it 😂

❌don't like, don't read! okay? good :)❌

---

"But doesn't it hurt when you pee while you're hard?"

"Luke, please shut up", Ashton groaned. He regretted it so badly. But Luke wouldn't stop asking what he had meant when he had accidently let something about needing to drink a few more bottles of water before he would get off. First, Luke had thought Ashton just liked it better when he was hydrated but Ashton hadn't been able to hide his blush so Luke had finally gotten to what it actually meant: Ashton liked to pee in sexual situations. He had a watersports kink.

"But you don't like the...you know, like, you don't like that too right? I mean I wouldn't judge you, to each their own, but like -"

"No, Luke, I don't shit on people nor do I wanna shit myself, ok?"

"Oh...cool", he lasted two seconds in silence before he continued, "But doesn't the smell turn you off? And what if you get it in your face, oh my god imagine if you got it in your mouth!"

Ashton didn't answer that and Luke immediately noticed: "In your - Ash!"

"What?", the drummer's voice was a little shrill and his cheeks were flaming hot.

"But like-"

"Scientifically speaking, pee is a lot cleaner than if you lick your fingers or something, you literally said two seconds ago you wouldn't judge me"

"No, yea, I know. I'm sorry", another two seconds of silence then: "Would you drink my pee if we had sex?"

Ashton almost facepalmed but reduced it to groaning very loudly. "First of all, Luke, I don't drink pee. It's not about drinking it, it's about having someone get it on me and I wouldn't mind if some of it striped my face, you know like cumming on someone. Second of all, why would we have sex??"

Luke shrugged with a lopsided grin, causing Ashton to squint his eyes at him in suspicion.

Sadly the conversation was not over then,the silence lasted longer this time, maybe a minute, but then Luke said the stupidest thing yet: "So would you like let me use you as a toilet if I asked?"

---

'Use him as a toilet'

Ashton scoffed. He was not a human toilet and sure his kink was weird but it was a totally okay kink. There were plenty of people that liked to get cum on them so why not pee, right?

Besides, in all his twenty eight years of life he had yet to have someone else pee on him. He had only explored it himself and Luke was the first one he had trusted with this secret. Or rather Luke had forced himself to be trusted by Ashton.

And Ashton really hated that now Luke had implemented a picture in his mind that just wouldn't go away. He tried to think about what he usually thought about when he got himself off, some faceless hot bulky man hovering over him and telling him to let go. But now it wasn't some random man, it was Luke. Luke who just appeared in his mind now every single time he had his hand around his dick and he wasn't telling him to cum or too stop holding it, he was telling him to look up at him. Taunting him with saying he knew that Ashton wanted it, wanted him to get the golden liquid on his face, have it running down his body.

The words out of this fictional Luke's mouth came up in Ashton's brain without him even having to think about it. They were invading his mind just like this fictional Luke himself.

'So hot when you're all soaked in it', he would raunchily say to him, aiming the tip of his large erection right at his face, 'look at you all thirsty for it'

And Ashton groaned at it, upper body lifting off the bed towards a non existent second body. He felt the rough material of the towel he had spread under himself when he laid back down, hand still moving around his length. He knew there was no use in trying to make the image of his younger bandmate go away, it hadn't worked in the past days it wouldn't work now. So he just gave in to it, his hand speeding up and tiny gasps leaving his mouth as it got harder and a little painful to keep holding it all in.

He had drank so much water in the past two hours that lead up to just this and now he could already feel the relieve he knew would come with releasing all over himself and then finally orgasming. It was a mess cumming when he was already wet but he loved it.

"Oh", he gasped, choking when his thumb caught on the tip and his thighs twitched with the effort to hold it back, "Oh, please"

His wrist was aching a little when he sped up his movements and he didn't even register that he had started to gasp his blonde friend's name when his hips then kept thrusting up into his palm, shuddering thighs struggling to keep his middle lifted in the air but not able to lay back down.

"Lu- Luke, oh fuck, Luke"

And as cliché as it was, Luke heard him. Of course he did. Of fucking course he would hear Ashton calling for him when he was seconds away from pissing all over himself with his dick hard and in his hand, oh and also naked.

"Ash?", Luke asked the to the closed door of Ashton's room in the suite they were sharing. He didn't want to just barge in, but Ashton called for him again.

Because Ashton hadn't heard Luke outside his door. His hips were shuddering just like his thighs now, dick starting to twitch in his sweaty hand and then he was letting go.

He was gasping, sobbing with the burning feeling that came with cumming while also releasing something else and his hips were so high in the air.

He didn't take notice of Luke in his ecstasy.

Luke who was staring at the scene in front of him with wide eyes and an open mouth because this right in front of him was some straight up filthy porn. And it was real, it was Ashton.

Ashton's naked body squirming on the bed and Ashton's dick striping his wide chest with cum and - oh god.

Luke choked on his own breath when he noticed it. He was doing it. Ashton was, he was - Luke gulped and his breath stuttered. He was peeing himself just like he said he did it. But Luke hadn't really, well of course he hadn't pictured it, but now that he was seeing it, it was overwhelming and maybe he was starting to understand why Ashton liked it.

Maybe, just maybe, his own dick was getting interested in the drummer drenching himself in golden liquid that, due to his hips still being lifted high in the air, ran down his chest and pooled in his collar bones or dripped down his sides.

It should have been filthy and dirty. Luke should have been disgusted.

He wasn't. Instead he was drawn closer, found himself walking into the room and invading Ashton's space. A hand was slipping into his own pants, wrapping around his rapidly hardening dick and started stroking while he stood right beside Ashton's bed.

What the fuck was happening?

Ashton's hips fell back down onto his bed, no more cum jumping out of his length but there was still a thing golden stream coming from it. When it began to stutter, turning into short broken up spurts, he began to sob quietly with each of them like it was painful.

His head turned to the side, mouth still agape - and then he saw Luke.

Frantically, he tried to pick himself up, hands pushing into the puddle on his bed and he cringed, whimpered, too, and he just wanted to disappear. This couldn't be happening, please no.

His eyes were wild, panicked. Luke's were calm. He didn't seem phazed at all and he was surprised by that himself. Maybe it was the hand around his dick that was still moving that made him relax.

"What are you-", Ashton's eyes had found said hand. It was unmistakable what it was doing in Luke's pants with the movement.

"That looked like it hurt.", he was making casual conversation about a really not casual topic while he was jerking off. About Ashton, in front of Ashton, while talking to Ashton.

Ashton who was currently speechless. His eyes were laser focused on how the blonde's hand shifted inside the pants.

"You-", he didn't even know what he wanted to say.

"You should clean up your bed before you drench everything", Luke said, still stroking his cock in his pants.

Ashton blinked a few times, not moving, still watching the others' hand move in the pants, but then he flinched like something had pulled him out of his trance and he set himself into motion.

"Actually I think the bed can wait"

Ashton suddenly felt hands on his bare hips from where he was now bent over the bed. He had wanted to strip the bed sheets of but froze at the touch.

"Get on your knees and wait for me"

Ashton was unsure if he should follow the request but when Luke added "I'll just get myself something to drink" he - still didn't move.

He was covered in cum and piss, entirely naked, sweaty and he just wanted to run away and hide from Luke. Luke who was making a joke out of this by telling him to get on his knees.

"Luke, I'm already embarrassed, you don't need to make it worse", he said, face flushed bright red.

"M not", Luke mumbled, pulling his back closer towards his front, almost as if hugging the other man. He put his hands over Ashton's and pushed them away from his torso where he had put them in an attempt to hide himself.

"Get on your knees please?", he asked softly into his ear. Wetness that was stuck to Ashton's back from, well, laying in it, dampened Luke's shirt and he pressed his nose to the back of the drummer's neck, nuzzling the curls.

"Please - if you want to", Luke tried again and Ashton finally shifted a little.

He avoided eye contact the whole time when he moved to kneel on the floor. The bed was still wet, probably soaking the mattress, his torso was covered in sticky cum and his own liquid, which was running down his thighs, too, by now.

His mind was racing, while Luke was gone. Would he come back with a camera and make fun of him? Maybe call Calum and Michael? Or was he not going to come back at all and he would be kneeling here for the next few hours? He should probably just get up, right? He should get up and finally clean the bed, yeah, he should do that.

Ashton got up, shaking his head at how stupid he felt for actually getting on the floor in the first place, and stripped the bed.

Thanks to the thick towel he head spread across the sheets, it hadn't gotten through to the mattress yet.

Ashton really wanted to clean himself up, too, but keeping the bed dry was more important and his shower could wait another few minutes.

When he was done with the bed and he had rolled the sheets and the towel up in a big ball, he put them down in favor of grabbing some tissues to at least clean himself a little. The cum was starting to get sticky, like freshly chewed gum and he wanted it off. He was getting all too aware of it now.

But just when he went to swipe the first tissue over his chest, he was interrupted: "And just what exactly are you doing?"

Wide hazel eyes snapped up to meet with blue ones. The blue that usually looked soft and cute and pretty but right now it was cold. And strong, unwavering, as he stared right back at Ashton.

Ashton didn't say a word. He didn't make a sound either, he just blankly stared. Only his hands lowered on their own accord to hide his crotch from Luke.

"Nuh - uh", Luke made when he saw the movement and with two big steps he was right in front of the shorter man and gripping his wrists to stop him. His free hand took the tissue from Ashton's fingers. He glanced around the room, noticing the ball of sheets and sighed.

"I get that you were worried about the bed so I guess I can let your misbevahing slide. But I didn't want you to clean this up", his pointer finger slid up Ashton's chest, collecting some of the cum there, "so I am quite dissappointed in you, Ash"

Ashton gulped. Dissappointed?

Luke broke their eye contact.

Then, his hand was cupping Ashton's chin, thumb and middle finger pressing into his jaw to make him open his mouth. Ashton's heart stuttered when he realized what Luke was doing. The cum covered finger pushed between his lips and Ashton's eyes went so wide that it could have been mistaken for panic.

Luke had his cum on his hand. Shit. And now it was in his mouth and why was he sucking on Luke's fucking cum covered finger now, what was he doing?

"Good boy", Luke mumbled, almost like he wasn't fully aware of saying it.

Ashton gulped and watched as Luke wiped the spit soaked finger on his shirt.

"Now", Ashton's eyes snapped up to Luke's ones at the change of tone in his voice, "I think I had told you to get on your knees?"

[therantsofawriterrr]

Ok, so I've spent the last three days and a whole sleepless night reading the Perfect Marriage Revenge webtoon and there were some changes in the show that I didn't like. This will have spoilers so read at your own risk.

Okay so first of all, the accident was totally different. In the show, Do Guk hits Yijoo's car, and then a truck hits both of the cars, now ik I'm going into logistics, but umm. The truck driver. Man didn't even stop for a SECOND. Like bro you hit two CARS, which prolly had a person or people in it and you just go on driving. In the webtoon, it's actually like a pedestrian accident? Idk how to call it but basically, Yijoo walked out on the road and the traffic lights were red or smn like that and Do Guk hit her with his car and he got hit by another car. Smn like that. This change doesn't really matter to me, only the truck thing irks me a bit.

Another change that I do not like at all was Manager Kim. So basically in the webtoon, it wasn't just Do Guk and Yijoo that died, it was also Manager Kim. All three of them had tattoos on their wrists. Basically, his story was that he used to be in the same orphanage as Yijoo and when she got adopted by her shitty "family", he saw that it was his dad's girlfriend because of whom he died. Also, he draws!!!!! He joined as the secretary of the grandfather and the stepmom found out that he was a spy and had an accident orchestrated, so his was the car that hit Do Guk's which caused them both to die. I hate that in the show, they show him literally KILLING Yijoo. Plus, they didn't even give a reason as to which he helps her in the show. In the comic, he's like I couldn't help you the first time, so imma do it now. Oo oo and and, after a lot of the plot happens, Yijoo tells him to lead his life and put himself first, to start drawing again and all. It was soooo nice. He held an exhibition to show his dad's paintings to everyone and went to France to study art. I was scared that he'll be killed off or there'll be like a stupid love triangle, but thankfully that didn't happen.

Another thing, Sehyeok actually kinda understands that Yura is an obsessed bitch and lets her go which kinda made me happy, BUT THEN, it turned out that he was more of an a-hole than ever because he slept with Yura when she was absolutely shitfaced and literally called him Do Guk. So umm yea. And also, they showed Yura struggling too. She had his kid, and idk one of the last scenes kinda gave me the vibes that she's probably understood the fact that this obsession with Yijoo was just gonna make her end up ruining her and the kid's life. I don't rly care that they changed that in the show, but reading the webcomic kinda made me hope that she was able to get out of her situation and go far away, so that she could restart her life and take care of the kid.

More of Do Guk and his brother's enmity was revealed. It was mostly just the brother kinda hating on Do Guk and trying to make his life hell all his childhood. Also Do Guk had a video game company. There were lots of changes that I didn't rly mind, but ig these were some of the ones that irked me the most.

Also, Do Guk and Yijoo had three kids. THREE. THEY HAD TWINS, AND THEN A DAUGHTER. AND A CAT. MAN. I WANNA SEE THAT VERSION NOW.

[nuranalknowsall]

.....

hot take: but i think the reason why pulp is addicting is because it delivers in action but when it ends, its just empty thematically and thats how it leaves you wanting more? if that makes sense?

like i just finished reading the comic 'my name is chaos' and conceptually it had a lot of potential but it went unfulfilled and left a lot to be desired... the art was good. afaik there was no continuation tho smh so there were a lot of loose threads.

The art was gorgeous like most sci-fi stuff during the early 1990s.

I personally don't see the point in the violent development in Steve's experiments tho? Or why they were there in the first place? Were they suppose to be a parallel to the martians? and why even bother to mention moron's intellectual upgrade at all, if the upgrade wasn't on panel?

like most stuff written in the 90's, the way women were written made my eyes roll... even tho sarah arguably and barely passes the ailia test, she's still used as a prop for man pain and jealousy and doesn't have any agency whatsoever. I was also confused on whether or not Thomas was even aware that his wife used to be together with his brother Steven?

As for Stevens arc itself, he plays the typical mad scientist role. He does display emotions, in a cold and distant way. He also does act as a leader tho and stages a coup against the primary government of mars. Personally, i would have liked to have seen his accident and his reasoning on why he didn't want his family to know why he was dead. I also wanted to see more of his estranged relationship with his brother, Thomas. The themes of humanity having things out of their control could have been leaned in more, with Steven and his origin accident story, and perhaps even provide a deeper motivation?

Ok. Now onto thomas. I will admit, it was drawn to the cover of my name is chaos because it made it clear that the protagonist was going to be a black man. But I think it's safe to say that his role was race neutral? (like he would have been switched with a white man, and the plot wouldn't be impacted is what i mean.) And we do need more sci-fi stories set in the future ft black people just existing and facing other types of conflict. there is one trope I disliked tho and see trending in different characters of colour, and that is, thomas is moved out of his own body and switches with a martian but doesn't seem to be himself, even tho his conciousness is suppose to be unaltered otherwise? idk just a trend i've been noticing.

Like i've earlier, i would have liked to see thomas's relationship with his brother, steven explored a bit more. You get to see the strain when steven controls where thomas goes and spends his time. One part that did strike me as interesting, was steven mentioning his respect for thomas's work bc it also set up a sort of rivalry aspect? Which would have been better and make way more sense then them fighting over a woman, because there's that intellectual aspect too.

I also would have liked to see thomas's connection with nature specifically, talking to whales, be more in depth. Especially on a dying, dystopian Earth. (idk maybe i just like the implication that the whales are evolved versions of the martians too.) His ascension into a high consciousness by being connected to aliens was surprisingly not v colonizer-y. up until he was like 'yea they want me to be their leader.' (eye roll.) And the burning of the martian's bodies too was kinda unnessecary imo. i can definitely see this having influence on that 'blue avatar ppl movie.' I def liked his ability to feel Mars as a living being.

While the last page hinted that steven's conciousness was still around, i think, if this series had continued, I would have liked it to be more about the aliens and them fighting for their sovereignty against a colonizing earth, and more development in thomas's connection with nature and the universe.

[coralinnii]

Deuce Spade (hitchhiker ghost!Reader x civilian!Deuce)

genre: angst(?), sad ending

note: inspired by the legend of the hitchhiker ghost but not following its common telling, 1k word count, mentions of car crashes, mention of near and actual d*aths,

this is fictional story that is not meant to imitate or reflect on real life events. Any resemblance to real life experiences are not intentional and not meant to downplay the emotions of such tragedies

summary: Deuce couldn’t just leave you alone, shivering in the dark. After all, this road was notorious for car accidents and mysterious attacks. 

series index

Deuce wouldn’t call himself a good man. He knew the pain he brought upon his enemies and sometimes unintentionally upon those he loved like his mother, which was why he was determined to turn over a new leaf. 

He was ready to cut all ties with his past. No more late night drives on his motorcycle and running amok through the dark, empty streets. 

Except for that one night. 

He swore this was the last time, he thought to himself. His friend needed back up at the next town over and he couldn’t let his old buddies down, but that was the last time! 

After the fight, he zipped down the roads, hoping to reach home before his mom noticed he was gone when he saw a figure on the side of the road. He slowed down and noticed a person walking alone, and if he knew the area as well as he did, then it must have been a while since you started walking as there wasn’t much for miles until the next town over. 

Despite his previous plans, Deuce started to turn closer to the side where you were. 

“Excuse me,” he nervously called out, to which you turned “Do you need a ride? It’s pretty dark and I don’t feel right letting you walk alone like this” 

You said nothing as you stared at the dark-haired man. Deuce wasn't one to brag but he was pretty confident in his skills to defend himself, so why did your stare seem to break him down so easily? 

“Alright, thank you” you finally answered with a mysterious smile. But Deuce ignored it as he handed you his helmet and helped you onto his motorcycle. You gave him your address and once he’s set up, the two of you drove off. 

During the ride, Deuce didn’t want to mention it before but he flinched when you wrapped your arms around him rather tightly. It wasn’t that he felt nervous being so close to you (maybe a little), but you felt cold to the touch even through his thick jacket which made him worried. Were you really that cold? 

Considering how late he was already, he decided to make a pit stop. He gently tapped at your hands that were holding his waist, grabbing your attention. He pointed to a convenience store that was lit up a ways ahead from the two of you.

Soon, you two reached the impromptu pit stop and you gave him a look of judgemental curiosity as the former bad boy rushed into a nearby convenience store, only to come back with two cups, one in each hand. 

Deuce handed you one. “Here, I didn’t know if you like coffee but hopefully it’ll help warm you up. You felt kinda cold so…” 

Your eyebrows raised in surprise as you glanced to and from the kind-hearted man and the coffee he offered. 

“You didn’t need to” you mumbled underneath your breath but Deuce heard nonetheless. He smiled confidently, pressing a closed fist to his chest.

“Yea, but I wanted to. It’s what a good guy should do!” 

Just like the first time the two of you met, you stared at Deuce with an unreadable look in your eyes. Deuce stiffened nervously under your gaze and suddenly, you did something he honestly didn’t expect to see from you tonight. 

A smile. A warm, heart-stopping smile. 

Your shoulders dropped as your gaze turned the warmest it ever did since you two met. Deuce turned adorably red as he stepped back in mild disbelief. He couldn’t say it for fear it would make you feel uncomfortable, but your smile was stunningly beautiful. 

“You’re different from them. You are very kind” you said, still keeping your alluring smile. “Much too kind” 

“U-Uh…thank y-you?”  

Deuce stuttered and fumbled with his words as he then said that you two should continue your journey. He mentally slapped himself to calm down as he felt your arms wrap around his waist again, not as tightly as before but still cold. He should really get you home. 

He reached your home, the lights in what looks to be the living room were still on which he assumed your family were awake. He turned to ask if you needed help to get down but he nearly toppled off his vehicle in shock. 

You were gone. 

Oh shoot, did you fall off?!

Deuce stumbled to get off his motorcycle safely as he ran all possible reasons to your disappearance. He paled in the fear that you may have actually fallen off his motorbike during the ride and he didn’t realize. 

Without a single thought in his head, he ran to the front door of your home and banged frantically for a response. A older woman opened the door cautiously and jumbled words fell from Deuce’s lips 

“Your child…bike…dark outside…maybe hurt??!!” 

Unbelievably confused, the older lady convinced the young man to calm down to which Deuce did and properly explained the situation, apologizing profusely for losing her child. 

The woman had a look of great shock, as Deuce wasn’t surprised about but her words afterwards were not what Deuce expected. 

“You’re ok?!” 

“…What?” 

With a guilt-ridden sigh, the woman explained the series of tragic events that has been plaguing the town he was visiting. Mysterious attacks and a drastic rise in car accidents has been happening along the road that Deuce was traveling on just an hour before, with multiple accounts from the surviving victims proclaiming that a horrific figure appeared before them and led those who locked eyes with the ghost to their death or damn near to it. 

The woman momentarily walked into her home before reappearing with a newspaper clipping, describing the disappearance of a local from the town that was last reported walking alone after a sudden car malfunction. 

Deuce felt a chill run down his spine as he looked over the picture that was used in the newspaper. He immediately recognized you in the picture, with that brilliant smile on your face. 

“The accidents started sometime after my baby's disappearance" your mother shed tears, either from grief or guilt "The survivors describe the mysterious ghost to look exactly like my child, dressed exactly like that terrible day, but covered in blood and bruises.”

[ztarvokronpa]

couldn't help myself but write for my lil chef boy, my lil blorbo, my teddy bear 👉🏻👈🏻 so here, enjoy some boyfriend headcanons! i kinda got too ahead of myself in the despair section so uhhh my bad-

request status... OPEN!

SFW ONLY

headcanons under the cut!

SPOILERS FOR GBD!

Non-Despair AU

when this man becomes your boyfriend, you will never have to cook again... unless you wanna help him in the kitchen, which he will absolutely adore

cooking dates? cooking dates.

very much into pda, loves holding your hand when walking down the halls of hope's peak or giving your cheek a kiss in public

did i mention he's very cuddly? well, he is. he 100% loves to be the little spoon and no one can tell me otherwise.

oh! did i also mention that mama hanamura absolutely adores you??? well she does!! first time teruteru introduced you to her, she gave you a big hug and you two chatted for hours (and she also showed you some baby pics of teruteru, which made him want to be invisible)

and his siblings also love you, his younger sister hangs out with you a lot when you two are trying to have a date or something, much to teruteru's dismay.

definitely shows you off a little bit, something along the lines of "look at my partner! *dreamy sigh* ain't they amazing?" or "my honey did wonderful today, hmhm!!!" all while holding your hand and grinning

his nicknames for you are; honey, cutie, pumpkin, babycakes, baby, sexy, sugar- ok basically anything sweet food related

you are definitely the one who taste tests his new recipes first, to get a "professional opinion" lmao

as for his flirting and dirty jokes with others, he still does them, but not to the extent that he used to, since you're there to ground him.

all in all, he's by far the cutest and possibly best boyfriend you could get and he loves you to bits hehe

Despair AU - Jabberwock Island

super protective of you as soon as the killing game starts, not to mention super clingy

like, if someone dangerous like fuyuhiko even speaks to you, he's immediately by your side, holding your hand/arm tightly with a stern look on his face.

"the fuck's up with him?" "he thinks you'll kill me." "hah! probably, but only if you seriously piss me off."

teruteru didn't like that >:(

during the party he absolutely insisted that you stick with someone safe while he was working in the kitchen, so you stuck with sonia and gundham for the time being.

and then it happened. the blackout murder of 'byakuya togami'

to say you had a bad feeling about this was an understatement as you were investigating

when you were with teruteru, he acted like nothing happened, but you could see right through him

the class trial was harder than you thought.

his reasoning was an accident, that he thought it was nagito instead of 'byakuya'

before his execution began, you hugged and kissed him goodbye before he was dragged away

after it all, you didn't speak or trust anyone

then monomi pops up, sniffling while holding something red.

"i-i managed to salvage this for you... i th-think he'd want you to have it, so here! please, keep it safe with you at all times so he can keep you safe in spirit!" she spoke as she tied it loosely around your neck

his red scarf.

it gave you a little chunk of hope throughout the killing game for a while until you were killed in your sleep by mikan after contracting the despair disease.

you never expected to wake up until you did; a bright light and pressure on your arms alerting your senses.

"ah! they're waking up!"

it wasn't until you heard the familiar voice, you woke up, eyes darting around and landing on...

"hajime?" "ah, good! can you walk? you're the second to last one to awaken. nagito's still sleeping."

what? you thought you were dead. you were... weren't you.

after some explaing while you two walked, you learnt that

"...everyone's a-alive?... you mean-" "there they are! hey, y/n!"

yea, you cried. but you cried even harder when you and teruteru met eyes.

aaaand he's now extra extra clingy. not that you mind, now that you have your precious baby boy back 💕

[dodo-begone]

See's Dodo and anons reaction to last ask.

Me: externally blushing like crazy. Internally AAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *squealing noise s*

Well you know what they say the show must go on.

Wilbur was the first of the royals to really notice, after all most of his time with you was spent inside in the library since he had convinced his father to allow him to teach you instead of hiring teachers, but you never had less than two layers of clothing on even when indoors you had a large shirt and coat on. Even if it was winter now you were first brought to the castle in summer but you attire remained the same a shirt two sizes too big and a coat also large on you it was a small wonder you didn't suffer form heat stroke, maybe it was a case of those being the only clothes you owned well that wouldn't do it would be a poor showing if visiting diplomats thought they treated their (new sibling) guests with such little care and honesty buying you a new wardrobe didn't even make a dent in his personal finances. Still it was strange that both you and Tommy insisted on your new clothes being a size or two too big and also made of lighter cloth not the wool that was so common for winter attire but at the very least your and Tommy's insistence meant that he got to choose the colours of the outfits in return. Of course the main colours were white and a navy blue you were a member of the Royal (family) Court now it was only right you wore their colours, still the insistence on lighter materials for your clothes did worry him a little the winters were harsh he didn't want his (sibling) little brothers friend getting sick maybe he should bring this up with the others maybe they would know why you never took off that coat.

Techno hadn't noticed the whole coat issue until his twin pointed it out but now that Wilbur had he couldn't stop noticing it. Even when you spared with him you didn't take off the coat heck you never wore armour saying that armour only slowed you down, you had even balked, gone pale when he offered you enchanted iron armour turning down the gift and walking swiftly away. At first he and chat had felt rather rejected (sibling rejection arc, pog, e, e, Technosad) after all you had even if reluctantly accepted Wilbur gift of a new wardrobe but you were rejecting his gift, he had wanted to give you armour so he could teach you his style of fighting but you didn't want that apparently. Though now he thought about it your and theseus's apparent insistence on lighter fabrics and the rejection of the iron armour might not be as coinsidental as he might have thought, after all he had seen you shivering a few times when you thought he wasn't looking but you had refused the much warmer wool for cloth so it wasn't just you being stubborn did, did you have some sort of skin problem or other ailment that caused you pain or irritation if you wore heavy clothes or armour. Oh of course you would go pale at the idea of wearing iron armour if that was the case plus it would explain the constantly wearing a coat since you probably didn't want them to know out of misguided fear of their reaction after all he had seen how superstitious some peasants could be about such conditions from his time training new soldiers. Theseus would know you did have such a condition after all you were practically joined at the hip, but it was getting very late, tomorrow he would find Theseus and ask if he knew the reason why now he needed to find his father.

Tommy most certainly did know the reason why you never wore armour and always had a coat on. He was currently sat on your bed, both of your backs to the door, preening the reasons why you letting out quiet chirps as he helped straighten and re-aligh your feathers, after all your wings didn't exactly appreciate being covered by your coat the whole day he couldn't even imagine how much worse your wings would have been if Wilbur hadn't listened and just gotten a heavy wool coat. He remembered when your wings first came through a few years ago when your friendship was still new, you had been complaining about a rash that had suddenly appeared on your back a few days prior only to fall to the ground in pain mid sentence, he was honestly grateful that his family didn't keep track of their potion supply considering how many regen potion you needed when your wings came out leaving rather large exit wounds on your back, if he wasn't able to get those potions he didn't even want to think about what could have happened to you. Now you were here though and he couldn't let anyone know about your wings if even a servant or stable boy saw it would trickle back to his brother and his dad if Philza found out he would never let you leave, you would become as trapped as him maybe even more so due to his dad's instincts. Unfortunately since both of your backs were to the door neither of you spotted the winged watcher peering through the cracked open door.

Philza was on his way to his newest (child) guests chambers after his eldest two had come to him with worrying news about their newest ( family member) permanent. Wilbur told tales of light clothing even in winter while Techno quiet shared his own worries of them being ill and hiding it from them but to him those weren't the signs of illness no they were signs that you were like... no he should get excited it was probably an illness after all his investigations had shown that it wasn't just bandits that ravaged his nation but hybrid hunters a particularly disgusting breed of bandit that targeted hybrids to sell as pets or in the case of winged hybrids to harvest their wings as decorations. That infuriated him after all he had founded this nation to be a safe haven for hybrids but due to his own negligence they were hunted down, if you were like... him it would be a small miracle that you hadn't been taken by those hunters. Reaching the room in question open a crack he went to knock when he heard a soft chirping pausing he looked through the crack to see his youngest preening his (baby bird) guest's wings, rushing back to his own chambers he could just hear chat cawing ( baby bird, dadza, dadza, protect, keep, baby bird) he couldn't keep the massive grin off of his face as it all came together. Of course you didn't wear heavy clothing you had been hiding your wings it would mangle your feathers if you wore heavier clothing over them, the iron armour was rejected because you couldn't wear it full stop even with your wings out your bones wouldn't be able to take the weight since they were partly hollow, oh he had a little bird to teach flying and how to properly preen. His emotional high crashed though as he realised that you ran your farm alone, were you alone when your wings came through, its was the worst pain on could feel wings slowly ripping their way out of your back plus you could easily bleed out or get an infection if the open wounds weren't taken care of properly, oh you poor dear no wonder you were so attached to Tommy he was the only flock member you had. No longer though he would look after you he knew his sons had grown to care for you as much as they had Tommy, his more bird like instincts rejoiced at the thought of a fledgling joining his little flock.

Ender-anon

This is quite a bit longer than I thought it would be also first time writing hybrid reader.

sorry i took so long to answer this!! This just rlly intimidated me and anxiety went brrrr- but anyways lemmie get into this ask!!!

YOU FUCKING DESERVE THE RECOGNITION MAN UR STUFF IS SO FUCKING POG

god i rlly love royalty aus, did i ever mention that??? i just lOVE- ANYWAYS

So Wilbur's curiosity about your clothing choice only lead him to believing that what you wore was all you could afford in your previous life. He wasn't exactly wrong. And even with the new clothes you got when you moved into the castle, you refused to wear them. It was rather peculiar. Wouldn't you want to get out of those nasty and worn rags you called clothes? But you were new to the castle. He went with the presumption that the shock from the change was frightening. You must've kept your previous clothes as a safety blanket of sorts. Though after a few nasty looks sent your way over your apparel and your very obvious discomfort about it, he decided to take the executive decision to give you clothes that fit your taste and the taste of the court. Your choice to have oversized clothing confused him, but Tommy's insistence just made him presume you were self conscious of your body. To be fair, he wasn't half wrong but he was.

At the rejection of his gift, his and chat's disappointment were more than evident. Was his twin better or something? Like you accepted his gift, although reluctantly. But you still accepted it. And yet you didn't accept him. Looking back on your fear of the armor, he thought more into it. Yes the skin issues was definitely something to consider, but maybe trauma? No, trauma of armor would be strange, right? Maybe you had a family member who wore armor yet died in front of you despite their armor being worn to protect them. Or some other fear. Yea, the skin issue would be much more reasonable, actually. He'll just bring it up with father, let him know of the possible issues with their new family member.

One of the activities you two did on the daily was straighten out your feathers at the end of the day or when they were bothering you. Though the latter only happened when you two were in private. Nobody could know your secret, after all. It was for your protection and to preserve your freedom. At first, when your wings were coming in, he was absolutely terrified for you. What the fuck was going on? This isn't normal! Oh god oh fuck what is he suppose to do?! With an oversupply of potions thanks to the paranoia of attacks on the family and accidents during training, it was beyond easy to take what he needed for you. If anyone was questioned about it, he could easily say that some trainees took some.

OMG ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FUCKING CRY WITH THIS PHILZA PART?! BEACUSE I WILL CRY THIS IS SO MF CUTE- I JUST CAN'T I LOVE SO MUCH- I CAN'T ADD ANYTHING TO THAT PERFECT- I COULDN'T RLLY ADD ANYTHING TO WHAT YOU SENT ME AND I APOLOGIZE. I JUST LOVE AAAALLL OF THIS

[yourmidnightlover]

lost my everything

Summary- while revealing something to spencer, you confess something during the process. he didn't know how to react, which led to a terrible accident in which he might lose you forever.

TW: talk abt mental and physical abuse, alluding to death, talk about self-harm, SAD ENDING

WC- 3,152

a/n - please don't read if you're sensitive to self-harm or talk about emotional and physical abuse because reader goes into discussion about these things. i care about you and your safety so if you need to talk about anything please seek help or my inbox is always open! you are loved and you are needed <3

masterlist

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one thing about being the youngest member of the team meant that the second-youngest member was drawn to you.

that second youngest member happened to be spencer reid.

you had just had another paperwork day today since you got back from one the night previous. you were currently in the conference room discussing the case before we got off-topic, curtesy of spencer's coffee problem.

"i might have a slight problem with my coffee addiction, but there are many studies that go to show the benefits of drinking coffee. supposedly, drinking coffee could extend your life period, strengthen your liver, increase your body's glucose production, and even-"

"okay, that's all for today guys. go home and get rest before a case comes in," hotch interjected and warned.

you placed your hand on spencer's arm, this time underneath the table, as his face began to fall from disappointment. he turned to face and gave a tight-lipped grin before you removed my hand and we both stood up.

"so, spence, my place or yours for the doctor who marathon this time?" you said as he grabbed his bag from his desk.

"we went to mine last, so we can just go to yours this time," he said with his natural pep back. "besides, i kinda like your apartment better," he shrugged with another wide smile.

"clearly you do," you joked. "you almost always say my place," you laughed as you both joined jj. pen, and emily in the elevator.

"hey, y/n, would you wanna go to o'kiefs with us tonight?" jj offered kindly.

"already got plans. maybe next time!" you said with a smile, turning back to see spencer wearing the same smile on your face.

honestly, you and spencer have gone to the bar with the team a few times. you weren't opposed to going with them, you just knew that going meant everyone would pressure you to drink alcohol.

last time, you had succumbed to peer pressure. spencer had to drive you home and hold your hair as you puked into the toilet, it was a very good bonding experience. you didn't remember much, but you do remember you convinced him to stay the night, although he did end up sleeping on the couch rather than in the bed with you.

"after last time, i don't blame you, y/l/n," emily laughed out, giving a concerned look recalling the memories flooding her mind.

"next time we won't pressure you so much!" penny consoled. "i didn't know how much you meant it when you said you can't handle your alcohol," she winced.

"yea... i really meant it," you laughed out, trying to shed some light on the subject. the elevator opened, allowing you to go your separate ways for the night. "have fun you guys!" you called as you walked to your car with spencer.

spencer and you have been carpooling to work ever since you learned he took the metro to work and only lived a couple blocks from your apartment complex. you couldn't stand the thought of something bad happening to him while on the train, so you've offered to give him a ride there and back ever since.

in return, spencer insisted on paying for daily coffee runs for the two of you. it was his way 'of returning the fuel money in another type of fuel.'

you and spencer crawled into the car and began the drive back to your place. it wasn't too long to your place, only a 20-minute drive, but being with spencer made it feel like half that.

"do you even remember what happened the last time you went to the bar with them?" spencer laughed.

"not exactly..." you grimaced. "just that you took me home, there was a bit of puking, and i coerced you to stay the night. and you slept on the couch, which is absolutely ridiculous! i mean, i was the one who practically made you stay, so shouldn't i have slept on the couch? it's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," you ranted.

"you're right, we have slept in the same bed before," he clarified. "but each time we did that you weren't drunk out of your mind," he sassed.

"ha-ha, spence," you mocked. "i did say i couldn't handle my alcohol. is there anything you wanna fill me in on?"

truthfully, yes.

there was something he wanted to fill you in on.

he wanted to tell you how you confessed your past to him.

he wanted to tell you how you kissed him right after...

and he kissed you back.

he could still remember the way your lips tasted, still covered by the vodka from the shots you took hours before.

but he didn't want you to think less of him since he kissed you back.

he just couldn't help it.

he'd been helplessly in love with you for so long, yearning to be with you as more than friends... as more than what he thought you wanted. but that kiss was his hope.

it was hope that maybe you felt a fraction of the chemistry he did. it was hope that maybe even if you didn't like him, you still had an attraction towards him in some kind of way. it was hope that maybe you would grow those same feelings for him.

but no matter how much 'hope' that kiss gave him, he shouldn't have kissed you back. he knew how vulnerable you were by telling him about your history of abuse.

you told him about your parents. about how they would throw you around when they were high, or drunk, or both. you told him about how they would call you worthless, a whore, stupid, good-for-nothing, basically every name in the book. but you didn't tell him about how you coped with the abuse.

so, when he told you how amazing you are to be able to turn your life around how you did, and how beautiful you are and always have been, you couldn't help but embrace him with a kiss.

you kissed him.

and he kissed you.

in a wonderful, vulnerable moment, he kissed you back as he'd always wanted to each night you spent with each other.

"nope," he shook his head. "nothing to fill you in on."

"i guess that's good," you shrugged.

he also wanted to know if you'd ever tell him about what happened when you were in your right mind. he wanted to know that you trusted him with your darkest secret that you accidentally already spilled to him.

although, maybe you should know about what you admitted to him. it was your life, after all. it was your past that you revealed to him in a simple drunken mistake.

"actually..." spencer started, taking a deep breath as he looked into your eyes. "you did mention something."

"okay... what'd i mention?" you wondered.

"you told me about..." he tried to find the right words to say. "about your parents."

"oh...?" you began to realize what you had admitted to him that very night, still not remembering the events that followed. "i didn't want you to find out like that..." you trailed off.

"i figured you didn't," he gave a small grin. you looked over at him hesitantly.

you thought about all the ways you could react to this. you could block him out and act like it was his fault you drunkenly confessed your past. you could ignore the fact that you told him at all and just move on, burrowing all the emotions inside of you once again. or, you could try to finally move on from what happened and how you coped with it by talking to spencer about it.

"when we get to my place, would you mind if we held off on the marathon? i should probably elaborate a bit more," you asked meekly.

"of course we can. we can do whatever you want tonight, y/n," he soothed, placing a hand on your lower thigh comfortingly.

you drove back to your place in silence, the both of you anticipating the conversation awaiting you.

when you finally entered your apartment, you both shed your coats by the door, hanging them on the hook, placed your guns and badged on the table beside the hook, and sat down on the couch comfortably. you crossed your legs, your knee up in the air, as spencer sat down with his knee touching the one still on the couch.

"so... how much did i say?" you asked curiously.

"you talked about the emotional and physical abuse, but nothing too in depth," he confirmed.

"when i was young, about 12, my parents got into a minor car accident," you began telling him about your past, trying to recall the memories with little hurt or pain. "they weren't at fault, it was a drunk teenager, but they each got addicted to their pain meds from the hospital. i would be asleep when they would come home from a night out, drunk and high out of their minds. i remember the first night it happened. i wandered in the living room, curious of what the ruckus was, and was greeted by my dad's hand slapping me across my face," you chuckled humorlessly, not knowing what other reaction was appropriate.

"he told me i shouldn't have been up or seen what they were doing. he was furious," you furrowed your brows as tears began to well in your eyes at the memory as spencer gingerly placed his hand comfortingly on your knee, scooting a tad bit closer to you. "after that night it became almost a pattern of his. he would come home and then get upset from his high coming down, and take it out on me. my mom just laughed and watched as he would hit me."

"eventually, they started just belittling me. they would say i was a coward for not standing up for myself. they would say i was stupid, or worthless. they especially liked to call me 'a waste of space,' i think that one was their favorite," you took a shaky, deep breath as you knew you were about to reveal for the first time to anyone what you would do to cope with the abuse.

"eventually i started to believe them. i started to believe the things they said about me. i thought i truly was an ugly, undeserving, piece of garbage," you turned to see spencer's eyes full of tears, mirroring your own. "i would self-harm because i believed them. each night after they were done with their own abuse, i felt so... frustrated. the only way i could get that frustration out was to do that. the scars are still there, taunting me of how weak i was to not just endure the pain," you finished.

you didn't even realize tears were streaming down your eyes until you noticed the few on spencer's cheek. he reached his hand up to wipe the tears on your face, ignoring that of his own.

"you aren't weak, y/n. you are unbelievably strong for getting through that. you have to know how amazing you are," he told you, demanding you to see you the way he saw you.

because the way he saw you, you were beyond perfect. you were so much stronger for going through that. if anything, knowing you went through that made him think you were that much more amazing.

and honestly, the way you were thinking is that when you told spencer, he might think less of you. he might think you were dumb for doing that to yourself, inflicting pain upon your own body to relieve yourself of pain.

that was anything but true.

"s-so you don't think any less of me?" you asked confused, looking into his eyes for any tells of his lying.

"absolutely not. if anything i think you're stronger now that i know what you've endured," he assured you, moving a stray piece of hair behind your ear as he moved even closer to you.

"thank you so much, spencer," you said as you lunged forward, your arms immediately pulling him closer around his neck into a hug.

"you don't need to thank me, y/n," he started as he rubbed circles in your back soothingly. "if it helps anything at all... i think your amazing. i always have, and i always will."

"spencer..." you pulled back and looked into his eyes. "just... i need to tell you one more thing."

"alright," he nodded, prompting you to continue.

"i uhm, i'm in love with you," you bit your lip in anticipation for his response.

he didn't say anything.

he couldn't say anything.

he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how.

he didn't even know if you actually said that, or if you were just a figment of his imagination.

because at this point, he felt so much more for you than love.

he was infatuated with you.

but you read it as rejection, so you quickly unhinged your arms from around his neck and retreated into a ball while on the couch.

"i-i'm sorry," you said after quickly realizing the reality of the situation.

he didn't feel the same.

"you d-don't need to say it back. i shouldn't have sprung that on you. i-i've just felt that way for so long, and i thought that maybe you did too, but i shouldn't have assumed anything. i'm so sorry," you looked at him, waiting for him to say anything. to admit anything.

"oh god, and i just spilled everything to you," you ran your hand through your hair.

silence.

"i think i need to go for a walk," you said, getting up from the couch and rushing out the door after grabbing your coat.

you opted for taking the stairs to run outside, being the quickest option.

spencer was speechless, still sitting on your couch, dumbfounded.

he was overwhelmed with emotions.

you loved him?

he couldn't believe that someone so smart, so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so... everything would ever love him.

and he was too late to say it back.

he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that you loved him, so he just sat there in awe of this revelation.

by the time he realized what you had said, and was ready to say it back, you were already out of the door and down the stairs.

you were walking all too fast with tears flooding your eyesight.

you had just lost the one person you loved the most. the one person who's always there for you. the only person you've felt a connection with. you lost your everything.

by the time spencer ran down the stairs in an attempt to chase you, you were nowhere to be found. he could always call your cell, but he wanted to admit his undying love and affection in person, not over some dumb cellular device.

you didn't know where you were going, just letting your feet take you wherever they pleased. it had been a bit cold and you had left everything at your place, so you began rubbing your arms in search for more friction.

you were walking around a corner when you were pulled into an alley by some random white guy. with a harsh hand on your arm, you whined out quietly from the sudden pain.

you didn't have your gun.

"money! NOW!" he demanded. you stayed there with tears in your eyes, too emotional to speak.

your wallet was back at the house.

"are you too dumb to speak? i said MONEY!" he said, pushing a gun you were now made aware of into your stomach.

"i-i don't have my wallet," you admitted with a shaky voice, tears now streaming down your face faster than before.

the night was supposed to be another night with spencer, watching your favorite show and being with your favorite person. you were supposed to be cuddled up on his couch, probably falling asleep in his arms by now.

and now you were being mugged and were probably going to get hurt in one way or another.

"and why is that, doll?" he pushed the gun further into your lower stomach .

"i-i was in a r-rush. i s-swear i d-don't have anyth-thing!" you stuttered, trying to convince him to let you go.

"too bad... you've already seen my face. let's hope you have a nice nap," he growled before pulling the trigger, a bullet running through your lower stomach.

spencer was near you when the bullet went off. he was walking home.

you didn't even realize it, but you were walking in the direction of your love's own home when you were ambushed.

he heard the gun go off.

he naturally ran into the alley with his gun raised, ready to fire at anyone fleeing the scene. he managed to take the guy down with a single bullet before realizing it was you who was shot.

he quickly grabbed his phone and dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance at the corner of 5th and maine, alerting them that an agent was down.

"Y/N!" he yelled, running to kneel beside your limp body. "please, no..." he pleaded.

he put his hand to your neck in an attempt to find any pulse. there was a weak one. there was that hope again. he pulled you onto his lap, your body now resting atop his.

"stay with me. i-i didn't get to tell you how i felt," he cried as he put pressure on where the blood was coming out.

"sp-spencer?" you asked, barely regaining consciousness.

"it's me, y/n. i'm here," he soothed, running a hand through your hair to move it from your face.

"i'm s-s-sorry," you choked out, feeling your eyelids become heavier by the second.

"no. don't apologize to me," he told you. "i should be apologizing."

"it's n-not... your... fault," you felt your breath coming slower, the weight on your chest becoming unbearable.

"i-if i would've just told you how i felt..." he began thinking about how horrible a mistake he had made.

sirens were nearing, hope was becoming greater. spencer clung to your body tighter than ever as if holding you closer to him would will your heart to beat stronger, even if it was for just a bit longer.

"i-i..." you took another uneven breath, reaching your hand up slowly to wipe a tear from his face. "lo-love..." another breath. "you," you finished, your hand cascading down from his face and falling limp onto spencer’s lap, now accepting your own fate as the ambulance was now right outside the alley.

there was a moment when spencer thought maybe you’d wake up. you’d come back to him. but once they loaded you into the ambulance he had to accept one thing.

he had lost his everything...

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

[jaedreaminn]

Desperate Much?

Pairings: Ten x Reader.

Theme: fluff, angst, hurt, comfort, family, sad, happy ending. (Life is still going on)

Characters: Ten, Taeyong, Mark, Donghyuck, Jeno.

Word Count: 2k

~~~

Ten wasn't like his 'brothers'. Infact he wasn't ever their brother, he was their cousin. His dad was the one who inherited the family business and had settled with him and his mother in Thailand to branch out.

He had a happy and perfect life with both of his parents, but that was untill they both died unexpectedly in a car accident when he was eleven. And suddenly everything in his life was changing. He had to move to Korea to live with his uncle and his children, his father's buisness was now his uncle's buisness until Ten was old enough to take over. Until he could legally take over. He had to learn a different language, make new friends and start his life all over again in a very dysfunctional family.

He remembered the constant yelling between Mr.Lee and Mrs.Lee, having to sit by himself during those times when Taeyong would take his younger brothers Mark and Jeno and hide in his room, he remembered how Donghyuck would cry under the scrutinizing gaze of Mrs.Lee as she fought with Mr.Lee and the boy was stuck there not able to escape, the loss of the joys of family dinners that he was used to, the loneliness he felt. That was when he met you. You were his only friend in this country and even though he could barely talk to people you tried your best to talk to him despite the language barrier.

You were cheerful and jovial and very very clingy but he didn't mind that. You ate lunch with him and helped him with his Korean. You even made sure to stick by his side with the excuse of him being new here so he wouldn't get lost months after he arrived.

You were a blessing in disguise to him especially since it was so awkward with his cousin Taeyong at home and at school.

Time flew fast and a year had passed and he could speak and write Korean way better than before and lucky for him you were still stuck to his side.

In those trying times you were his only semblance of joy. The times in which Mark wouldn't talk at all, the times in which Taeyong would go around at the ripe age of twelve and hurt people with words so sharp that they would leave the school, when all Jeno did was look upto Taeyong and when Donghyuck started to act out getting himself in trouble so bad that he could have almost lost his life but no one cared.

It hurt Ten to watch all this happen but not being able to do anything about it because no matter how well he got along with the youger two, Taeyong would always pull his brothers away from him and take them to his room and well Donghyuck, he wouldn't talk to anyone at home.

But unfortunately all he could do was get used to this awful life, glad that you would quietly listen to him rant and then lighten his mood up with something silly.

He was mid rant one day when he spoke about how much he missed 'family dinners' that you interrupted him, "Why don't you have a dinner with your cousin's?" Ten scoffed at you and shut that idea down immediately but when he came home and saw how far apart everyone was he decided there and then that's what was needed.

So he forced Mark out of his room and away from his books, he pryed Donghyuck away from his bed, he bribed Taeyong and Jeno just followed his eldest brother and thats how he found himself at the diner table for the first time ever since his parents passed away.

"I used to eat dinner like this with my parents" he spoked but Taeyong glared at him, "I don't care"

"Look you want to be a brat be a brat but at the dinner table all feuds are forgotten and all hatred is gone, food is supposed to be consumed happy"

"What did your parents say that?" Taeyong asked, rolling his eyes.

"Nope y/n did!" Ten said with a cheeky smile, "Now c'mon dig in"

And so there started their first meal together with everyone silently serving themselves, "So we usually talk about our day at the dinner table" Ten smiled his eyes crinkling into two half moons. "I know none of you will say anything so I'll start, Teacher Park yelled at me for correcting him on his Korean today. I was so pissed" Taeyong snorted at that, "Yea that old geezer is weird"

"I know I don't like him either" Donghyuck spoke and Taeyong glared at him but Ten cleared his throat loudly and Taeyong sighed muttering an inaudible apology.

"I placed a fart cushion on his chair today" Donhyuck grinned proudly and collective snorts were heard across the table and Jeno chocked on his food as Taeyong patted the younger boys back. Mark was still eating quietly. Then Donghyuck frowned, "But he didn't like that..." He then put out his hands showing everyones his palms, "So he took me out of the classroom and hit me" Tens heart sank at the red bruises on the boys hands and Taeyong was glaring again but this time it wasn't at Donghyuck, "How dare that old rat hit a seven year old child like that" the eldest growled. But Donghyuck only smiled, "It's okay I'm used to it" he said and Tens heart broke at that statement and by the looks of it so did Taeyongs.

Something shifted between the boys that night and they all knew it. Ten came to school the next day boasting to you about the success of his first family dinner and how excited he was for the next one tomorrow.

He even told you the story Donghyuck had told him not knowing what to do and that very day you got detention for throwing your thick Oxford Dictionary at Mr.Parks face.

Ten still smiles at that memory, a tiny you standing on your bench, yelling out a swear word and launching the book right at the unsuspecting teachers face, nevertheless what you did got the principal's attention. And without making a big deal of it she started an investigation on the teacher.

You chatted excitedly the next day about how exhilarating it was for you to throw a book at that man's face and Ten smiled listening to you talk with animated gestures.

That night he was greeted by the sight of Taeyong silently treating their youngest brothers wounded hands while avoiding the younger boys adoring gaze.

And so life moved forward and Ten had new friends and family here in Korea. And of course you. At this point he wasn't sure if you were his friend or family or both. But you were you.

You were known in school as- The y/n. The y/n who had all of Ten's attention leaving zero for his admirers.

To Ten you were the y/n who made him happy, the y/n who made him laugh, the y/n with a beautiful smile, the y/n who held him as he cried, the y/n who would nag him endlessly when he didn't eat properly, the y/n who would latch pinkies with him and walk everywhere, the y/n who was exceptionally smart and savy.

His life was finally looking up, with you by his side helping him through it all. And slowly he was making new happy memories, like the day he got you all flustered for the first time, or the day Taeyong had put his foot down and finally dragged Donghyuck away from the fighting couple into his room along with Ten, the day he took you to the amusement park you wanted to go to so badly that you kissed his cheek and went running off to the roller coaster, the day Jeno who only looked upto Taeyong had asked him for help, the day he snuck out of the house at night to watch the stars with you, the day Mark spoke at the diner table for the first time, the day you tripped and fell and he got it on camera, the day Taeyong called him his brother, the day of their class picnic and many more.

But there were also bad days like they day he had his first big fight with you or the day Donghyuck had come to him crying and crying without ever telling him why or the day where both the adult Lee's decided to join the family diner and ruined it.

But even those didnt last because his fight with you ended with the two of your crying in each other's arms promising to never have a fight this big again, because the day Donghyuck cried so bitterly that it shook the entire house Taeyong, Mark and Jeno rushed in and it turned into a mini sleepover as they took care of the youngest who soon forgot why he was crying and promised to make sure he only laughs in the future. And the day that Mr. And Mrs. Lee ruined the family diner was the day all five of the boys snuck out to eat marshmallows and chocolate in the park. The initial idea was to make smores but none of them knew how to make a fire and they were all out of crackers.

Those were just a few happy moments with many more to come like the day he asked you out, or the day he and his brothers went camping together, or the day Donghyuck smiled a smile so pure as his eyes shone with genuine happiness or the day Jeno started to think for himself and made friends who were a good influence on him. And the day Mark started dating someone. (Ten genuinely thought by how quite the boy was he would have to force him to talk to people let alone date someone), the day he got his father's company back and the day he proposed to you on the banks of the Han river, under the stars with his family and closest friends there to witness the moment.

"Why are you smiling so big?" your voice interrupted his thoughts and his smiled widened even more at the sight of you. "Did you fart?" You asked him and he chuckled grabbing onto your arm and and pulling you down to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Nothing I'm just happy"

"Ten Lee I swear to god if you're on drugs then I want a divorce even before I marry you" you scolded playfully and Ten chuckled, "My only drug is you baby" he cooed and you gaged "Eww gross get a room" you said and he deadpanned.

"You're weird you know that y/n?" He asked with a small chuckle.

"Clearly you knew what you were getting into" You smiled, teeth on full display with how wide your grin was.

"Obviously"

"Oh by the way, I handled your little mishap at work today and got a few things you were supposed to do tomorrow scheduled for later and the rest got done today so your free tomorrow the entire day" you said and he smiled at you looking at you so lovingly. He doesn't remember that one moment he realised he was in love with you, maybe there wasn't just one lightbulb moment where her realised he loved you. Maybe he always knew or maybe he gradually figured it out. But that didn't matter all that matters is that he loves you and you love him.

"Ahh what would I do without you?" he asked snuggling into your neck and you chuckled, "Let's never have an answer to that question okay" you said and he nodded, you were right. You were there through evey step of the way after his life turned upside down and he's sure as hell he doesn't want to find out what it would be like without you so Ten grinned placing a small peck on you neck, "I'm gonna take you on the best date of your entire life tomorrow"

"Desperate much?"

"Y/n I'm literally engaged to you!"

~~~

Lee brother's- A mini series

Previous Part: Lee Mark

Next Part: Lee Donghyuck

[awsugar]

Ok so i found your blog by accident but you educated me on Eliza. Now I have questions. If you'vee been asked before, please direct me in that direction 1. Question: What info do you have on Lindsey? I liked her at first but when the rumors that she lied about being Indian came out, I started to feel really iffy about her. 2nd question: what do you think is the real reason mcr broke up?

i don't have like info compiled on lynz or anything. i think she's shitty and racist but i don't have like all the facts or anything and i'm not really interested in like making a lynz callout post or anything. there are blogs dedicated to compiling receipts against her but others will warn you that they're biased and stuff. i don't really know. i know enough though, like lying about her race, gaslighting fans who came forward about jimmy, etc to know we shouldn't support her but i'm an mcr blog, i'm not here to discuss the wives, the only reason i even mention lynz on here occasionally when she's broght up is bc she's a public figure so i feel like that's fair game. but yea like anytime i entertain asks like this it spurs on like 15 more people who want to discuss lynz and i just. try to stay away from that. i don't like her and i try to ignore the fact that gerard is married to her lol. the blogs i know of off the top of my head though are lynzuglyliar and loverofmenartandpasta though if you wanna take a look. im sure there are more.

anyway, the reason mcr broke up? i think it was a combo of things. i think gerard started to feel disconnected from mcr. like i feel it got to a point where he felt he didn't need mcr anymore, for the reasons that he needed it when he started the band. i think he thought that he didn't have a message anymore. but like ok this is my tinhat but i do think that gerard felt he couldn't work with frank anymore. specifically. cause obviously he had no trouble working with ray after the breakup. and mikey is his brother. and now that mcr are back together, i really don't think they plan on releasing new music. so the missing link is gerard's willingness to write music with frank. after hearing about how frank actually thinks cw is some of the best songs they ever wrote, and even one time said he thinks its his favorite of their 'albums' i think he was like not as on board with the danger days shift as he led on in those dd era interviews. i think we all know that gerard is the leading force of mcr. i mean obviously he and ray are a great writing team and frank definitely writes amazing parts but i think almost everything comes from gerard. especially the like creative vision for albums but i think he's really really involved in the sound as well even though he's the singer and not playing an instrument i think he tends to try to direct what the others write and the direction it goes in and i think he like. has the final say. so i think when it came time for mcr5, frank pushed back and wanted more say than he had in the past, bc his voice wasn't heard when they scrapped cw and he was happy with those songs. and gerard didn't like that. and i think the tension in that relationship was like a nail in the coffin. like we know that gerard wasn't really enjoying it anymore by the time they played their last show in may 2012 and something felt off to him. but they continued to try to write another album. and yea i think the combo of his disillusionment with mcr and lack of message and tension in the studio led to their demise...