#the last time things felt good

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Mikes and Vanessas celebrate 10 years of FNAF!

[marlinspirkhall]

These comics are unreal

[ingravinoveritas]

Earlier this year, a new blog was started here on Tumblr with the aim and intention of harassing a group of fans in the GO fandom. I previously made a post addressing this, as I was the initial target of this blog (whose original handle was a dupe of my own Tumblr handle).

I had hoped not to have a reason to revisit this particular subject, but given recent disturbing comments made by both this blog and its followers, and a post written by @nightgoodomens describing the situation from their perspective, I feel compelled to make a post of my own, to talk about what I have experienced and continue to experience at the hands of these individuals.

By now, some of you may be familiar with the blog in question. In my prior post, I did not mention this blog's name publicly, and I have no intention of doing so at this time, either. Yet I think it's important to be clear about what this blog's specific intentions were, which were made evident by its original creator on Twitter at the end of May:

It was only a few days after writing this tweet that the author did exactly this, and created this main blog. I feel that this has somehow become obscured over time, as given the negative response that this blog's initial posts engendered, the original creator apparently retired from the blog and gave the reins to someone else, and the blog's focus soon pivoted to defending Georgia and Anna. Prior to this, however, the blog began publishing Anons attacking me, including one that seemed to be threatening to doxx me:

What particularly perplexed me was seeing a gradual distortion of my own words and writing here on Tumblr, as well as people buying into it so readily. I also noticed one particular blog that became friendly with this main blog--they've changed handles a number of times, but at the time they were known as michaelsheendaily (then michaelsheensource, then thesheenantbergs). For months prior, they talked specifically about how awful the things I/others were saying about Georgia and Anna, and then seemingly joined forces with this main blog.

…Yet one year ago this very month, that same person (michaelsheendaily/thesheenantbergs) felt similarly to many of us and had sent me an Ask wanting to know if I thought Anna was being abusive to Michael. This Ask was sent from their (at the time, now deleted) main blog, but they helpfully DMed me from michaelsheendaily to make sure I had seen their question:

I answered this question (as I try to do with every Ask/Anon I get) straightforwardly and honestly, and firmly said "No" in response, as well as how serious it is to accuse someone of abuse, and that it is not up to any of us to try and break up a relationship, as Michael has people he can turn to if he needs to do so. I have also previously defended Georgia on my blog (and provided rationales and examples for why my perspective has gradually shifted over time), but it seems that the people harassing me have conveniently chosen to ignore all of this/have never looked at my blog beyond a cursory glance.

As this main blog continued its posting, and despite having Anons turned off, I began to receive a number of hateful Asks, which culminated with another blog suddenly coming into being about a month after these initial incidents. This blog claimed to be Michael Sheen (using a handle of his from Facebook), and published this despicably homophobic and noticeably un-Michael-like post:

The aforementioned main blog immediately drew attention to this post, and claimed that they had "proof" of this being the real Michael:

It soon became apparent that this blog was a fake, and despite its prior insistence that it could possibly be him, the main blog backtracked quickly as more people pointed out how obviously this was not Michael. Yet even the notion that someone would think this was acceptable--to pretend to be Michael, to (poorly) attempt an approximation of his writing style, all for the sake of attacking one person, and despite the fact that we know Michael already has a Tumblr that he hasn’t posted on in years--is just absurd beyond words.

But clearly this ill-conceived post inspired others, as only a week after this post appeared (and subsequently disappeared, along with the blog itself), I received an Ask from yet another recently-created blog of someone claiming to know Michael personally, saying that he would "destroy" me:

Which brings me to the present day, and how these themes have presented themselves yet again, in an even more unpleasant fashion.

Over the last four months, this main blog and its followers have continued to obsessively read my blog (despite how very easy it would be to simply block me) and screenshotted my posts in order to add their own vile commentary. I have not wanted to draw attention to any of this, but one particular instance has now made me change my mind.

I've recently talked on my blog about my upcoming trip to London, where I will be seeing David in Macbeth. A few days ago, it was brought to my attention that the main blog screenshotted one of my posts--which was a reblog of a video of David with Jodie Whittaker--along with my tags talking about the way David was sitting. One of the blog's followers commented this in response, and subsequently received a reply from the OP:

The "daggers" commenter currently runs several blogs dedicated to worshiping/defending Georgia and Anna (at least one of which is run in tandem with the original creator of the main blog). Numerous accusations have been levied at me and others from these blogs, one of the most outrageous of which is homophobia...yet this is their response to me simply saying David might not be 100% straight, and which eerily echoes the tone of the post from "Michael" three months ago. And while there are a lot of things about the last few months that have rankled me, nothing does so more than the hypocrisy I have witnessed, such as this.

The thing is, though, that when I saw these comments, all I could honestly think of was how sad I felt.

Because here I am, just days away from going on my trip--a trip I have been so anxiously awaiting, that is my first non-work trip in a very, very long time--and now the thought of, "Could someone try to attack me?" has crossed my mind. Yet my sadness is less for myself and more for the person who thinks it is acceptable to wish or even encourage violence against another human being. My sadness is that this person feels so unsafe or discontent in their own life--a feeling I know all too well--that their chosen course of action is to make someone else feel unsafe. To assuage their own sense of powerlessness by going after someone they perceive as having power.

My sadness is at these people being so sure that the celebrities they are a fan of would agree with them, yet needing/wanting those people to act in a way that aligns with who they want Michael and David to be, rather than who they actually are. I know that the Michael and David I became a fan of are two of the kindest, most intelligent, warmest men you could imagine, and that there is no part of me that wants or needs them to scream at or dislike the same people I do for the sake of my own self-serving purposes.

To that end, I have also been distressed by the apparent frenzy that was recently generated in the form of a "rallying cry" against myself and others in this group of fans facing ongoing harassment. But what I've tended to see as a response to said frenzy is some variation of, "People are saying these terrible things. I haven't actually seen any of these posts/comments, but it must be terrible, so I'll block this person/people." I am no stranger to fandom chatter/gossip, but every time I hear something, my first impulse is always to find the receipts. To learn more information what is being claimed so that I can make up my own mind. And that is the very same ethos I have espoused on my blog for years, because I would much rather people think for themselves than "fall in line" because they are being told to do so/threatened with being "cancelled" if they don't.

So if you want to find out something about my opinions or takes, it is all here on my blog. Everything going back five years since I joined the GO fandom, tagged and catalogued. I have not privated anything or deleted anything, nor do I have multiple blogs or side blogs--just this one. And if after reading what I actually have to say you still want to block me, you are certainly welcome to do so. I would just much rather you block me because of the truth, not because of someone else's personal vendetta and agenda.

To say that dealing with all of this for months on end has been surreal and stressful is a profound understatement. Especially because I have never once engaged with this blog, never replied to any posts of theirs, nor sent them an Anon or made threats of any kind (despite receiving numerous threats myself). Nor have I replied to the multiple incendiary Asks and DMs I have repeatedly received from the blog's original creator.

Again, I have not wanted to draw any further attention to these people, but the staggering awfulness of the most recent comments finally made me feel that enough is enough. I truly shudder to think what the response would be if someone made a similarly threatening comment toward these individuals...yet it's somehow completely fine to say these things about me. To make me and others into the "villain" that you need us to be to justify saying these heinous things in the first place. And while these individuals and anyone else are free to dislike me and to express their dislike in a public forum to their heart's content, that freedom of expression ends where my right to not feel that my personal safety is in jeopardy begins. A line that should never have been crossed has been crossed, and we as a fandom and as human beings are much the worse off for it.

No one should ever have to feel this way. Not even these people. And by talking about all of this and bringing these incidents into the light, my hope is that no one else ever will.

[wistfulwatcher]

Criminal Minds: Evolution | 17.01 Gold Star

[enden-k]

and im crying

[alarrylarrie]

Hey everyone.

I’m going to take until after the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday to just step away from this space for a little bit.

I think I’ll be back. I just also think I need to take a minute and figure some stuff out for myself.

I have been in this space for a solid ten years now, and have often encouraged people to walk away if things feel too heavy for them. So I’m going to take my own advice and just take a little time.

Please be kind to each other, okay? Remember to treat each other with love and to be gentle with yourselves and others.

I love you all so very much. And I’ll be back again soon. Hopefully with a better attitude and the ability to spread more love around this place.

Amanda. 💜

[kris-mage-fics]

Wintersun

A short Shepherds of Haven fic that takes place on Wintersun. Some vague spoilers for Chapter 4 and Blade's 5th day off in the Alpha build. Also there's a reference to this bit of a fic I haven't finished, but it's not necessary to understand what's going on.

| Ao3 | rated G | 628 words | Blade/Kyrahlise | under the cut for very light spoilers mentioned above |

"Happy Wintersun," Kyrahlise said as she handed Blade a slim package not much larger than her hand. Neither of them acknowledged the momentary brush of their fingertips.

The gift was neatly wrapped in paper she'd painted with winter berries and small swirls of gold. All tied off with a thin green ribbon salvaged from one of her old dresses. The design was overly flashy for his taste, but she had been too focused on making it pretty and was short on time to repaint something more austere.

Blade raised an eyebrow ever so slightly. "You didn't need to," he said, yet she could've sworn his face softened as his eyes traced the designs on the paper.

Kyrah smiled having anticipated he'd say something along those lines. "I'm aware. But I wanted to and thought you might enjoy it."

He looked up from the gift to meet her eyes. "Did you paint this?" Of course he remembered she painted. While in The Reach he'd fussed at her plenty to not paint outside. He trusted her judgment enough to promote her to Captain after a month, yet the cold was somehow too much. He made absolutely no sense.

"Yes," she said in a light tone.

"It's nice." Did Blade's compliment make her feel happy in a way it probably shouldn't? Yes. But she'd take that to her grave before admitting it to anyone.

"Thank you, though I hope you like what's inside more."

Blade's eyes went back to the present he held delicately. She ignored the strange little feeling in her chest when he untied the ribbon and slipped it into a pocket before carefully unfolding the paper. Underneath was a small book of poetry. "You remembered, thank you."

An unusual wave of nerves washed over Kyrahlise. What if he'd read this collection before and hated it? Well, there was no use worrying about it now that the book was in his hands. "Yes, by one of my favorite contemporary poets. Are you familiar with her work?"

"I'm not."

Her smile was tinted with relief. "I hope you find her poetry to your taste."

There was a upward tilt to his lips as he nodded. Kyrah gathered he was thanking her again, but reading his subtle expressions was like cracking a code.

Not that she needed to decipher anything to understand Blade's kindness. He'd always been considerate and respectful towards her. A sharp contrast to how many Norms treated her after she left the Circle. Like when he'd been livid because of what happened in that damned cave, it had filled her with so much warmth. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to have anyone care about her well-being. It was the catalyst for certain feelings towards him being stirred up. Feelings she accepted existed then politely ignored.

Though a recent incident in his room made her question if Blade was really as indifferent to her as he so often appeared.

When Kyrahlise glanced back up at Blade, his eyes were so gentle as they met hers it brought an instinctive smile to her lips. The first time he looked at her like that was when she learned black was the warmest color of all. The way his gaze slowly traced over her face almost felt like a sweet caress that seemed to stop briefly at her lips. But she was likely imagining things again.

A slight frown passed over his face as his free hand twitched, then clenched against his side. He looked at her another moment, gave a hint of a nod and another quick 'thank you' before turning and walking away. When he was out of earshot she sighed. Maybe one day she'd figure out what was really going on inside that inscrutable head of his.

[kissingarthurclaus]

This time I'm really gonna do it!!!! (finish my fucking animatic)

[spaciebabie]

hey so im not white

[sraksha]

Heyyyy!

So the OC drawings are gonna take a bit longer than they normally would becauseeee... I'm moving! To my first own apartment! Yayyy!!

It'll probably be a few weeks before i manage to settle in and have everything set up. So much to do, so little free time after work.

I'm super excited and i hope you understand the delay ♡

[skunkes]

[grapejuicegay]

Sometimes I just start thinking about this moment - paired with Maddie's "I just think that maybe you're not sure of your own feelings yet. And if there's something that you need to tell Eddie, you will. Just, in your own time" - and then don't stop thinking about it.

Maybe I'm just reading into it but the way this moment moves. Eddie steps forward, Tommy steps up to exactly where Eddie was, Buck turns to look where Eddie was, doesn't find what he was looking for but still finds something good. It's not just ep 4 and 5 where the focus on Eddie blows me away, it's also this.

[perilegs]

my sweet little baby man is no longer with us

[trashnotfound]

I’ve only been into the spider verse movies for a little while, so I’m still processing shit every time I watch it again….. so can we talk about how Miguel watched gwens dad not only try to arrest her, but shoot her too, and he still sent her home( because that part REALLY pissed me off more then it usually does)

….. because he’s angry she didn’t “catch miles” (as if his ass also didn’t fail ) Fully still under the impression she has no safe place to go? Also believing cannon will happen and her dad will eventually die, effectively leaving her all on her own.

I know people could argue he’s been keeping tabs on E-65 so he may have known her dads change of heart, but he still didn’t tell gwen she would be okay? that her dad didn’t think she was a criminal? And watched her struggle helplessly thinking she was basically being sent to not only her death but her dads too…..

I know Miguel saw gwen as a liability and some could argue it was in his right to do that because she failed her mission. But she wouldn’t have failed in the first place if he just let her go see Miles to begin with….

So instead of realising his mistake or letting gwen talk to her friend, he just gets her out of his way to be a good guy. When he clearly couldn’t care less what was gonna happen to her

[gayanimebitches]

ok. migi & dali opening. i am going to talk about it now.

throughout the opening we see so many Things. the entire series up until the second to last episode, i hadn't paid that close attention to it because god that song is a banger and honestly i was more focused on the music than the animation, despite being captivated by it every episode. but that episode for some reason. i paid more attention that time and had some Realizations.

one question i've had every single time the opening has played has been "why does one of them take the cherry pie and the other does not?" throughout the opening the two of them are seen doing the same things, effectively mirroring each other, which makes sense considering it was most of the plot for the first few episodes, so i really didn't think about it too much. but with that pattern established, it's extremely strange when, at the end, one of them strays from the shared course of action to take one of the slices of cherry pie that's sitting on the chairs.

another thing i noticed when i actually paid attention was that the one in the shadows in all their activities is always dali.

and if that's not enough, we have this shot of migi and dali as sun and moon respectively, and i think we all have enough media literacy to understand the implications of that.

then we have this shot of them, showing migi floating higher and dali sinking lower.

all of these screenshots to say that the opening animation tells us exactly what the series, or at least the part that the anime currently covers, is about at its core. we see it in the series time and time again as these two try to make their way through the world.

migi is portrayed in the series as somewhat childish, frequently to a fault - generally more hopeful in what he believes, which shows in his actions and the way he interacts with others in a genuine way. dali is severe and bitter, much more driven by the idea of getting revenge for their mother, seemingly just for the sake of it at this point, and being willing to do it at any cost because he doesn't value anything other than his brother.

migi sees the good in things and, while still helping dali with their shared goal, is genuinely enjoying his life with this family and in this town. dali, on the other hand, is dedicating everything he has to their goal, not caring or bothering to invest any part of himself into anything else. (this is portrayed also by migi being in the light, enjoying the activities he's doing, and dali being in the shadows, spending all his time trying to solve their mystery.)

this conflict of priority between them results in the fight they have in episode 9. a showdown between hope and despair, over a bike in a river, all as a result of migi's off-comment about wanting to eat cherry pie again.

and now the bike. they state this explicitly in the dialogue, but it's the first gift migi has ever gotten. so when dali throws it in, he does not hesitate even a little bit to jump in and get it. the bike is meaningless to dali - just another thing to toss and discard for the sake of moving forward. he gives up on everything so easily because he never bothered getting attached in the first place. he's so quickly ready to abandon anything and everything aside from migi. there's no way that he can be happy like that and migi knows that. migi is all he has and they both know that.

the jealousy he expresses is just jealousy that migi is able to find happiness and value in things other than him while he's unable to do the same, as a result of his bitterness and his fixation on finding their mother's killer. he's jealous that migi is growing closer to other people and making connections that are important enough to him that he's not willing to just throw them away with the toss of a bike.

so he takes his brother down. he forces his head underwater, and asks if he's still thinking about that cherry pie (THIS LINE IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!). he tries to drag migi down with him into his own despair, tries to convince migi that his beloved cherry pie isn't really all that important. that it's not worth as much as migi's acting like it is.

he tries to literally beat the hope out of migi. he is so desperate to be hopeless that he beats the shit out of his brother over and over about it.

but, of course, that would never be enough to stop him.

and we're back to the cherry pie. dali finally caves and agrees to go back and try to sort things out, not because it's what he thinks is best for their safety, but because it's what migi wants for his happiness. he realizes that he'll only continue to hurt migi if he pushes his own cynicism on him and forces him to leave everything behind, since he had the guts to get attached. even though dali doesn't really understand the value of the cherry pie, he sees how much it matters to his brother. he sees his resolve to experience those small moments of happiness again.

the cherry pie is taken from migi's side of the shot.

throughout the entire story, migi has been the one to see the value in the simple things, like taking walks with the dog, having friends to hang out with and do wacky bird shit with, riding a bike, and eating cherry pie together. he is not afraid to experience joy and is willing to fight for it, for both him and his brother, even if his brother doesn't see the value in it quite yet.

migi will see the good in things. he will have hope for the future. and he will take the cherry pie.

[boycritter]

day one on new med i feel so normal