#the last time i was at the hairdresser was 7/8 years ago

[goldyluna]

I didn't know there would be a day, that I was more afraid to go to a hairdresser that to a dentist. Fun times we live in.

[myguiltyartpleasure]

15 people, 15 questions

Tagged by @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma, thanks!

1.) Are you named after anyone?

Nope. Tried to ask several times about possible reasons, but my parents said they just liked this name

2.) When was the last time you cried?

Not sure, but probably in previous couple of weeks. I couldn't sleep and stared overthinking and got too sad about it 😅

3.) Do you have kids?

Nah, not interested

4.) What sports do you play/have played?

I tried gymnastics during 1st grade. I liked it, but it was too cruel for me. Other than that I reeeeeeally don't like sports

5.) Do you use sarcasm?

Yep

6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Whole demeanor I guess, the kind of vibes person is giving. And their hairdo

7.) What’s your eye colour?

Blue and grey with little bit of green. I'm not sure how to describe it

8.) Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings mostly. There's too much awful stuff going on in real world to be devastated because of fictional stuff 😥

9.) Any talents?

I like to think I'm creative and resourceful person. Does it count as talent? I'm also good at hairdressing, know thing or two about haircutting and looove dying hair, specifically "unnatural" colors. I want to try holographic thing on someone's hair, but sadly, I don't have enough volunteers for my experiments. Usually it's my own hair, but I've settled on current one some years ago

10.) Where were you born?

In a hospital afaik

11.) What are your hobbies?

Gaming! Mostly on PS, some cozy gaming on PC. Love DIY stuff: drawing, cross stitching, sewing, crafting - depends on what I'm into at the moment. I wanted to try archery or boxing, but I think I'm too lazy for it 😄

12.) Do you have any pets?

One affectionate chonky cat 💙

13.) How tall are you?

5’2 or something. Haven't checked for quite some time

14.) Favourite subject in school?

Languages, English isn't my native one. I've tried to start learning German, but I'm not consistent with it. I was also good with math and stuff, but wasn't really a fan of it. I just liked the fact that it's quite easy for me

15.) Dream job?

Honestly? I just want to do different stuff I like without worrying about money. More like I'm dreaming to not have to have a job 😅

I don't have a lot of people to tag here, so I'll tag couple of mutuals @ultfreakme @tellme-astory @dualcordie

[cassiesinsanity]

Time killer wheeeeee! thanks @oldfangirl81! :D

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I got teary the other day thinking about @crazy4orcas. but cry-cry? um... probably a few weeks ago when getting in a fight with my husbadf? (I'm an angry cryer. I HATE IT.)

3. Do you have kids?

1 Boy Child. Currently 13 and full of sass.

4. What sports do you play/have played?

OMG. I do not and have never played sports! I am the most uncoordinated person EVER.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

yes

6. What's the first thing people notice about you?

Physically? My hair. I was blessed with hair that turned grey in the most amazing, highlighty, you-wish-your-hairdresser-could-do-it-this-well way. Its a fabulous 75% silver, 25% brown mix.

Or my shoes. I have a lot of awesome shoes.

Personality wise? that I'm quiet and reserved until you get me talking and then I won't shut up and I AM LOUD. (its the Jersey in me ;))

7. What's your eye color?

Hazel

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy (or hopeful) endings. Its why I'm addicted to romances.

9. Any talents?

I... don't know? There are things I like doing like quilting and fic writing and baking but am I good and are they talents? Who the hell knows,

10. Where were you born?

New Jersey

11. What are your hobbies?

See above. And reading. Is that a hobby???

12. Do you have any pets?

Nope

13. How tall are you?

5' 1.5" (I also count that darn half inch - its important!)

14. Favorite subject in school?

Math and English. I haaated science.

15. Dream job?

Retired. Yup, just like the hair, I am showing my age with this one, but I have ten years to go but desperately want it NOW.

Who wants to do it? Is so, go for it!

[megan-loves-surveys]

Let's go.

1 - Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? Christmas lol.

2 - Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? No I suck. My boyfriend has been trying to teach me but I'm awful.

3 - When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? Good question, I'm not sure.

4 - Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? Not right now.

5 - Do you have anything exciting planned for the upcoming weekend? I'm going to a wrestling show, that'll be fun.

6 - If you could spend two weeks in any city in the world, which city would you pick and why? London or NYC, cos so much to do, I wouldn't get bored.

7 - When was the last time you tripped or fell in public? if there was nobody around to see you, did you still feel embarrassed? Ages ago, I don't think anyone saw me.

8 - The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? Peanut butter.

9 - How many hours sleep did you get last night? Was that enough for you or could you have slept for longer? 6 hours and 40 mins, I could have had a bit longer but eh.

10 - What’s your favourite time of day? What’s your favourite thing to do at that time? Evenings, that's my free time! I listen to music, watch wrestling, play video games, talk on Discord etc.

11 - Where did you go the last time you left your house? I went to work, then after work I went out for a meal with my Mum.

12 - Are you tired right now? Will you be going to bed anytime soon? I'm alright, and no it's 12:26pm xD

13 - How many times a week do you get takeaway coffee, if you get it at all? I mostly stay away from coffee cos caffeine does a number on me.

14 - What radio station do you listen to the most? None.

15 - If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? I don't.

16 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? Mixture - I get them with bacon and maple syrup.

17 - Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? Yep, especially my knees and my fingers xD

18 - Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? is this something you do on a regular basis? No.

19 - For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? Actually getting up, after I do, I'm fine. And going to bed is annoying cos I have to haul all the plushies off it xD

20 - Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Definitely diet, regular is usually too sweet.

21 - What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? Depends on the time of year - in summer, it'll be a jumpsuit, summer dress or tank top & shorts. In winter, it'll be comfy yoga pants and a hoodie with ugg boots.

22 - When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? December, I went to the salon.

23 - Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? We thankfully don't have to wear them anymore, but we did have to wear them for months in 2021 and 2022 - inside any buildings and on public transport.

24 - Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? Does getting hit by a car count? LOL.

25 - When was the last time you baked a cake? What cake was it? I don't bake.

26 - Do you like wearing bows or accessories in your hair? Nah.

27 - How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? Not as many as I should. I've read two this year so far lol.

28 - If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? No pets.

29 - Do you make your bed every morning when you get up? Yep.

30 - When was the last time you got takeaway food? Was it good? I had KFC on Friday if that counts.

1 - Who was the last person to knock on your door? Were they there to see you? My boyfriend, he usually texts me to let him into our complex but the gate was open last time and he was able to come in on his own.

2 - Have you left the house yet today? If not, do you have plans to leave the house later on? Not yet, and yes, I'm heading out to a concert later this afternoon around 3:30 or so.

3 - What’s your favourite brand of chocolate? What type of chocolate bar from that brand is your favourite? Any Belgian chocolate, Whittakers (NZ brand) and Cadbury's.

4 - Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Oh yeah, quite a few of my friends were online friends first, then later on we met in real life.

5 - What was the last thing you used a blender for? We don't own a blender.

6 - Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about? Oh, loads of times. They're usually about wrestling xD

7 - When was the last time you cracked your joints? Is that something you do often? I do that way too much.

8 - What time is it right now? If you weren’t doing a survey, what else would you be doing right now? 1:25pm. I'd either be at work, at the gym or watching wrestling or playing a video game haha.

9 - If you had ten minutes to run around an empty supermarket and fill your trolley for free, what’s the first aisle you’d go for? Chips! Haha.

10 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you visit the most and why? last.fm, Facebook, Reddit, YouTube. All the usuals.

11 - Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal? No, Covid isn't really a problem anymore. It's still around of course, but it doesn't affect stuff as much now.

12 - What’s your favourite flavour of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake? Any! And I suck at baking.

13 - Do you prefer sweet or sour candy? Sour.

14 - What colour is your favourite fruit? Is this a fruit you eat often? Yellow, cos it's bananas haha. And I don't eat them that much really.

15 - Is your favourite restaurant an independent place or a chain? What is it that you love about it so much? Porterhouse Grill, it's independent as far as I know. It's expensive but the food is so good and the staff are so friendly.

16 - Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype? I love it! I go at least once a week.

17 - Do you own a Christmas jumper? What design/pattern does it have on it? I do, I have two, they're both wrestling ones - one is Seth Rollins, the other is Roman Reigns. I can't wear them at Christmas though cos it's too hot, so I wear them in July lol.

18 - What’s your favourite fit/style of jeans? Skinny jeans.

19 - What was the last non-essential item you spent money on? I dropped a bunch of money on backing the Broken Sword kickstarter haha.

20 - Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules? No, they lifted those in 2022.

21 - What did you last leave the room you’re in to do? To go downstairs for lunch.

22 - Have you ever read any self-help books? Did you find them useful? No.

23 - What’s your favourite programme on the Food Network (if you watch it)? If you don’t get that channel, what’s your favourite food/cookery show in general? I don't like cooking shows.

24 - Do you still watch cartoons? Yep sometimes.

25 - Who do you know with the most number of siblings? Would you ever want to live in a huge family? Ngawari, my BFF. She has 9 brothers and sisters! And no.

26 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Yes! Yummy.

27 - Do you own any personalized clothing? What’s the reason for getting it? No.

28 - Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to? No, my Mum is downstairs.

29 - What colours are you wearing right now? Does your wardrobe contain a lot of those colours? Only black haha. And yes.

30 - Do you like adding condiments to your food? If so, what are some of your favourites? I am a condiment addict, I use so many different ones. But I def use tomato sauce/ketchup the most, with mayo in second.

This past year…

who were your favorite singers, musicians, or bands?

My most played artist on Spotify was Taylor Swift, lol. But on last.fm my #1 was Ayumi Hamasaki, like she is most years.

what were some of your favorite foods?

Mac & cheese, always.

what was your favorite dessert?

Iceblocks or ice cream.

what was the best thing that happened to you?

I got permanent work finally! It started as a temp job, but my boss liked me so much he offered me the permanent position. Yay me!

what was the worst thing that happened to you?

Dunno, 2023 was pretty good, all things considered.

how have you grown as a person?

Sure.

what have you learned?

That a temp job can turn into a permanent one if you work hard enough and impress.

how old did you turn?

36.

what did you do for your birthday?

I had dinner with my BFF on my actual birthday, then the next day I went to lunch with my Mum and then went out for drinks with my boyfriend.

what did you accomplish?

Got a permanent job, went to the gym regularly for the whole year etc.

where did you live?

I've lived in the same place since 2016 lol.

who was your best friend?

Ngawari, we reconnected in a big way last year - she was inspired to join the gym by me and now we go together every week.

This past year, have you….

made a new friend?

Yes.

lost a friend?

Yes :( My friend Zoe passed from cancer.

made a new best friend?

No.

lost someone close to you?

Yes.

attended a funeral?

No, cos Zoe didn't have a funeral, they just had a get together and I couldn't go cos we lived in different cities.

attended a wedding?

No.

gave birth to a child? 🤰

No.

“came out of the closet”?

No.

traveled?

God I wish.

felt depressed? 😔

No.

felt suicidal? 😔

No.

felt happy? 😃

Yes!

felt at peace? 😊

Probably?

felt overjoyed? 💃

Sure.

felt blessed? 😇

Dunno.

felt amazed? 🤩

Sure.

fallen in love? 😍

I was already in love <3

had your heart broken? 💔

No..

got a new car? 🚗

No..

graduated? 👩‍🎓

No.

experienced something miraculous? ✨

Nah.

had a better year than last year?

2023 was way better than 2022 for sure.

had a worse year than last year?

No.

been to see the doctor? 👨‍⚕️

I didn't, lol.

been to the hospital? 🏥

No.

had a severe allergic reaction? 🤧

No.

had COVID? 🦠

I think I did, I got sick twice in two months - once was a cold, the other was prob Covid.

found out someone you knew had COVID? 🦠

Yes.

used an epi pen? 💉

No.

had a fever? 🥵

No.

had a migraine? 🧠

Too damn many.

gone on a date? 🌹

Loads.

written in a journal or diary? 📔

Yes.

given someone a hug? 🤗

Loads.

cut your hair? 💇‍♀️

No, but I dyed it a few times.

danced around your living room? 💃

No.

prayed? 🙏

No.

worshiped Jesus?

No.

read the Bible? 📖

No.

discovered a new favorite book? 📕

No.

gone to church? ⛪️

No.

went for a walk in the fall? 🍁

Probably.

set up and decorated a Christmas tree? 🎄

Yes.

threw up? 🤮

No.

almost threw up? 🤢

Yes.

discovered a new music artist you really liked? 🎤

Loads!

discovered a new song you really liked? 🎶

LOADS.

seen snow? ⛄️

No.

seen beautiful fall foliage? 🍁

Yes.

gone to the beach? 🏝

No.

rode a bike? 🚴

No.

rode a horse? 🐎

No.

swam? 👙

No.

worn makeup? 💄

No.

done a craft project?

No.

made a scrapbook page?

No.

written an essay? 📝

No.

painted something? 🎨

No.

drawn something? ✍️

No.

sketched in a sketchbook?

No.

written someone a letter? 📝

No.

been to a concert? 👩‍🎤

Yep, I went to see the Vengaboys last year.

driven a car? 🚘

No.

kayaked? 🛶

No.

gone on a cruise? 🚢

No.

made a big purchase?

Depends what you consider big.

moved to a new home? 🏡

No.

got a new pet?

No.

lost a pet?

No.

gotten a tattoo?

No.

gotten a new piercing?

No.

started a new hobby?

No.

worn a mask? 😷

We didn't have to wear them in 2023.

felt afraid to leave your house?

No.

celebrated your birthday alone?

No.

celebrated Christmas alone?

No.

went for a long walk through the neighborhood?

Yes.

Favorites of this Year (Pick one for each.)

Song:

Hard choice, probably CuteBad - Provocateur

Book:

Dunno.

TV show:

Raw or Dynamite.

Youtube channel:

I have loads of faves, but prob Call Me Kevin. He's always funny no matter what.

Food:

Mac & cheese.

Dessert:

Iceblocks.

Drink:

Starbucks mocha java chip frappe.

Friend:

Ngawari or David.

Thing you did:

Saw the Vengaboys or going to wrestling shows.

Place you went:

Nowhere lol.

Person you spend time with:

My Mum.

Thing you did for your birthday:

Gone to eat.

Celebrity:

Jon Moxley.

Website:

YouTube or last.fm.

Emojis:

Laughing crying face or heart.

Colors:

Purple & blue.

Restaurant:

Porterhouse Grill.

Tea flavor ☕️:

I don't like tea.

Final Questions!

Would you say this past year has been a good year overall?

Pretty good, yeah.

What are your goals for the new year?

Keep going to the gym, mainly.

How old will you turn next year?

37.

Did you make any big mistakes this past year?

No.

Do you have any big changes coming?

No.

How will you be celebrating New Year’s Eve this year?

I just hung out with my boyfriend and his friends and we had some drinks.

What was the best day of this year for you, and why?

Hard to pick.

What did you spend the most time doing this year?

Working and going to the gym, lol.

[survey--s]

683.

1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week?  I've been to work and yeah, my Mondays are always the same, pretty much. The only difference today was Mike was home so I didn't have to worry about Archie, lol. I got home just after 1pm, had a shower, had lunch, washed up and now I'm doing this.

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hours sleep do you consider a decent amount?  I slept really well actually. About seven hours is fine for me during the week, but I tend to sleep a bit longer at weekends.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves?  When Mike takes the lighter and doesn't bloody put it back lol.

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together?  Martin. I just talked to him when I dropped Ollie back home after his walk as he was working from home today.

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall?  I prefer a larger variety of cold drinks, but I love my hot coffee too.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful?  I do because I need them for work and walking the dog.

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?  Not really, just relaxing at home. The weather is bloody freezing and the wind was picking up as I finished my last walk so I'm just glad that I don't have to go back outside.

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home?  I cut it myself at home even when COVID isn't a thing - normally every few months, I guess.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment?  Fleece leggings, a long sleeved t-shirt, a jumper, two pairs of socks, walking boots and my winter down jacket. I'm now wearing normal leggings, a t-shirt and a hoody, plus slipper socks.

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains?  A beach holiday just because my normal life is being active in the mountains lol.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie?  Yeah, I wore a tie to school for about sixteen years.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home?  I don't remember, probably about seven or eight? I don't remember missing home much but it was nearly thirty years ago.

13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? Never. They all live overseas and I haven't been over for about a decade now. My mum's sister and her husband came over a few years ago though.

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine?  Yeah, as soon as I get out of bed my routine is the same. Get up, go downstairs, pee, light the wax burner, feed the cats, let the dog out, feed the dog, sort the litter trays, vacuum and make breakfast. After that, it depends whether I'm working or not. If I am, I'll get ready and go to work, but if not I'll have a shower and just chill out.

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears?  Last week, they were just...frustration I guess as I had some horrible bug/virus thing and felt horrible.

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey?  Probably more surveys.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? I had a cannelloni ready meal for lunch, lol. I don't really cook - I just don't enjoy it and our kitchen is really small too which makes it a real hassle.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows?  I'm not a huge fan of it unless it's the proper stuff, in which case I always add cream and marshmallows.

19 - What caused your last injury?  Simba scratched me when we were playing the other day.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them?  One tattoo, eight piercings. And no, not really.

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you?  Sunflowers or pink roses. And probably Valentine's Day? We have Simba now and he can't be trusted not to knock everything over so no flowers here, lol.

22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over?  I honestly don't know.

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? I generally prefer starters. Desserts always seem really disappointing in restaurants lol. I can rarely manage all three courses.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all?  Online - mostly via social media.

25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet?  My parents had it but it wasn't very serious. Mike and I had something that probably was COVID back in 2022 but we never tested. We were both pretty unwell with it though.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider?  Not anymore. I did give it a go for a while as a teenager though.

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? Pasta.

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you?  My wedding/engagement rings and well, my husband did lol.

29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment?  Red, grey and white all feature pretty evenly.

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed?  I put my towels in the dryer after my shower but otherwise no. I don't need to do any either, I did loads over the weekend.

[hellsitesonlybookclub]

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, Agatha Christie

Chapter 7-8

CHAPTER VII I LEARN MY NEIGHBOR’S PROFESSION On the following morning I hurried unforgivably over my round. My excuse can be that I had no very serious cases to attend. On my return Caroline came into the hall to greet me.

“Flora Ackroyd is here,” she announced in an excited whisper.

“What?”

I concealed my surprise as best I could.

“She’s very anxious to see you. She’s been here half an hour.”

Caroline led the way into our small sitting-room, and I followed.

Flora was sitting on the sofa by the window. She was in black and she sat nervously twisting her hands together. I was shocked by the sight of her face. All the color had faded away from it. But when she spoke her manner was as composed and resolute as possible.

“Dr. Sheppard, I have come to ask you to help me.”

“Of course he’ll help you, my dear,” said Caroline.

I don’t think Flora really wished Caroline to be present at the interview. She would, I am sure, have infinitely preferred to speak to me privately. But she also wanted to waste no time, so she made the best of it.

“I want you to come to The Larches with me.”

“The Larches?” I queried, surprised.

“To see that funny little man?” exclaimed Caroline.

“Yes. You know who he is, don’t you?”

“We fancied,” I said, “that he might be a retired hairdresser.”

Flora’s blue eyes opened very wide.

“Why, he’s Hercule Poirot! You know who I mean—the private detective. They say he’s done the most wonderful things—just like detectives do in books. A year ago he retired and came to live down here. Uncle knew who he was, but he promised not to tell any one, because M. Poirot wanted to live quietly without being bothered by people.”

“So that’s who he is,” I said slowly.

“You’ve heard of him, of course?”

“I’m rather an old fogey, as Caroline tells me,” I said, “but I have just heard of him.”

“Extraordinary!” commented Caroline.

I don’t know what she was referring to—possibly her own failure to discover the truth.

“You want to go and see him?” I asked slowly. “Now why?”

“To get him to investigate this murder, of course,” said Caroline sharply. “Don���t be so stupid, James.”

I was not really being stupid. Caroline does not always understand what I am driving at.

“You haven’t got confidence in Inspector Davis?” I went on.

“Of course she hasn’t,” said Caroline. “I haven’t either.”

Any one would have thought it was Caroline’s uncle who had been murdered.

“And how do you know he would take up the case?” I asked. “Remember he has retired from active work.”

“That’s just it,” said Flora simply. “I’ve got to persuade him.”

“You are sure you are doing wisely?” I asked gravely.

“Of course she is,” said Caroline. “I’ll go with her myself if she likes.”

“I’d rather the doctor came with me if you don’t mind, Miss Sheppard,” said Flora.

She knows the value of being direct on certain occasions. Any hints would certainly have been wasted on Caroline.

“You see,” she explained, following directness with tact, “Dr. Sheppard being the doctor, and having found the body, he would be able to give all the details to M. Poirot.”

“Yes,” said Caroline grudgingly, “I see that.”

I took a turn or two up and down the room.

“Flora,” I said gravely, “be guided by me. I advise you not to drag this detective into the case.”

Flora sprang to her feet. The color rushed into her cheeks.

“I know why you say that,” she cried. “But it’s exactly for that reason I’m so anxious to go. You’re afraid! But I’m not. I know Ralph better than you do.”

“Ralph,” said Caroline. “What has Ralph got to do with it?”

Neither of us heeded her.

“Ralph may be weak,” continued Flora. “He may have done foolish things in the past—wicked things even—but he wouldn’t murder any one.”

“No, no,” I exclaimed. “I never thought it of him.”

“Then why did you go to the Three Boars last night?” demanded Flora, “on your way home—after uncle’s body was found?”

I was momentarily silenced. I had hoped that that visit of mine would remain unnoticed.

“How did you know about that?” I countered.

“I went there this morning,” said Flora. “I heard from the servants that Ralph was staying there——”

I interrupted her.

“You had no idea that he was in King’s Abbot?”

“No. I was astounded. I couldn’t understand it. I went there and asked for him. They told me, what I suppose they told you last night, that he went out at about nine o’clock yesterday evening—and—and never came back.”

Her eyes met mine defiantly, and as though answering something in my look, she burst out:—

“Well, why shouldn’t he? He might have gone—anywhere. He may even have gone back to London.”

“Leaving his luggage behind?” I asked gently.

Flora stamped her foot.

“I don’t care. There must be a simple explanation.”

“And that’s why you want to go to Hercule Poirot? Isn’t it better to leave things as they are? The police don’t suspect Ralph in the least, remember. They’re working on quite another tack.”

“But that’s just it,” cried the girl. “They do suspect him. A man from Cranchester turned up this morning—Inspector Raglan, a horrid, weaselly little man. I found he had been to the Three Boars this morning before me. They told me all about his having been there, and the questions he had asked. He must think Ralph did it.”

“That’s a change of mind from last night, if so,” I said slowly. “He doesn’t believe in Davis’s theory that it was Parker then?”

“Parker indeed,” said my sister, and snorted.

Flora came forward and laid her hand on my arm.

“Oh! Dr. Sheppard, let us go at once to this M. Poirot. He will find out the truth.”

“My dear Flora,” I said gently, laying my hand on hers. “Are you quite sure it is the truth we want?”

She looked at me, nodding her head gravely.

“You’re not sure,” she said. “I am. I know Ralph better than you do.”

“Of course he didn’t do it,” said Caroline, who had been keeping silent with great difficulty. “Ralph may be extravagant, but he’s a dear boy, and has the nicest manners.”

I wanted to tell Caroline that large numbers of murderers have had nice manners, but the presence of Flora restrained me. Since the girl was determined, I was forced to give in to her and we started at once, getting away before my sister was able to fire off any more pronouncements beginning with her favorite words, “Of course.”

An old woman with an immense Breton cap opened the door of The Larches to us. M. Poirot was at home, it seemed.

We were ushered into a little sitting-room arranged with formal precision, and there, after the lapse of a minute or so, my friend of yesterday came to us.

“Monsieur le docteur,” he said, smiling. “Mademoiselle.”

He bowed to Flora.

“Perhaps,” I began, “you have heard of the tragedy which occurred last night.”

His face grew grave.

“But certainly I have heard. It is horrible. I offer mademoiselle all my sympathy. In what way can I serve you?”

“Miss Ackroyd,” I said, “wants you to—to——”

“To find the murderer,” said Flora in a clear voice.

“I see,” said the little man. “But the police will do that, will they not?”

“They might make a mistake,” said Flora. “They are on their way to make a mistake now, I think. Please, M. Poirot, won’t you help us? If—if it is a question of money——”

Poirot held up his hand.

“Not that, I beg of you, mademoiselle. Not that I do not care for money.” His eyes showed a momentary twinkle. “Money, it means much to me and always has done. No, if I go into this, you must understand one thing clearly. I shall go through with it to the end. The good dog, he does not leave the scent, remember! You may wish that, after all, you had left it to the local police.”

“I want the truth,” said Flora, looking him straight in the eyes.

“All the truth?”

“All the truth.”

“Then I accept,” said the little man quietly. “And I hope you will not regret those words. Now, tell me all the circumstances.”

“Dr. Sheppard had better tell you,” said Flora. “He knows more than I do.”

Thus enjoined, I plunged into a careful narrative, embodying all the facts I have previously set down. Poirot listened carefully, inserting a question here and there, but for the most part sitting in silence, his eyes on the ceiling.

I brought my story to a close with the departure of the inspector and myself from Fernly Park the previous night.

“And now,” said Flora, as I finished, “tell him all about Ralph.”

I hesitated, but her imperious glance drove me on.

“You went to this inn—this Three Boars—last night on your way home?” asked Poirot, as I brought my tale to a close. “Now exactly why was that?”

I paused a moment to choose my words carefully.

“I thought some one ought to inform the young man of his uncle’s death. It occurred to me after I had left Fernly that possibly no one but myself and Mr. Ackroyd were aware that he was staying in the village.”

Poirot nodded.

“Quite so. That was your only motive in going there, eh?”

“That was my only motive,” I said stiffly.

“It was not to—shall we say—reassure yourself about ce jeune homme?”

“Reassure myself?”

“I think, M. le docteur, that you know very well what I mean, though you pretend not to do so. I suggest that it would have been a relief to you if you had found that Captain Paton had been at home all the evening.”

“Not at all,” I said sharply.

The little detective shook his head at me gravely.

“You have not the trust in me of Miss Flora,” he said. “But no matter. What we have to look at is this—Captain Paton is missing, under circumstances which call for an explanation. I will not hide from you that the matter looks grave. Still, it may admit of a perfectly simple explanation.”

“That’s just what I keep saying,” cried Flora eagerly.

Poirot touched no more upon that theme. Instead he suggested an immediate visit to the local police. He thought it better for Flora to return home, and for me to be the one to accompany him there and introduce him to the officer in charge of the case.

We carried out this plan forthwith. We found Inspector Davis outside the police station looking very glum indeed. With him was Colonel Melrose, the Chief Constable, and another man whom, from Flora’s description of “weaselly,” I had no difficulty in recognizing as Inspector Raglan from Cranchester.

I know Melrose fairly well, and I introduced Poirot to him and explained the situation. The chief constable was clearly vexed, and Inspector Raglan looked as black as thunder. Davis, however, seemed slightly exhilarated by the sight of his superior officer’s annoyance.

“The case is going to be plain as a pikestaff,” said Raglan. “Not the least need for amateurs to come butting in. You’d think any fool would have seen the way things were last night, and then we shouldn’t have lost twelve hours.”

He directed a vengeful glance at poor Davis, who received it with perfect stolidity.

“Mr. Ackroyd’s family must, of course, do what they see fit,” said Colonel Melrose. “But we cannot have the official investigation hampered in any way. I know M. Poirot’s great reputation, of course,” he added courteously.

“The police can’t advertise themselves, worse luck,” said Raglan.

It was Poirot who saved the situation.

“It is true that I have retired from the world,” he said. “I never intended to take up a case again. Above all things, I have a horror of publicity. I must beg, that in the case of my being able to contribute something to the solution of the mystery, my name may not be mentioned.”

Inspector Raglan’s face lightened a little.

“I’ve heard of some very remarkable successes of yours,” observed the colonel, thawing.

“I have had much experience,” said Poirot quietly. “But most of my successes have been obtained by the aid of the police. I admire enormously your English police. If Inspector Raglan permits me to assist him, I shall be both honored and flattered.”

The inspector’s countenance became still more gracious.

Colonel Melrose drew me aside.

“From all I hear, this little fellow’s done some really remarkable things,” he murmured. “We’re naturally anxious not to have to call in Scotland Yard. Raglan seems very sure of himself, but I’m not quite certain that I agree with him. You see, I—er—know the parties concerned better than he does. This fellow doesn’t seem out after kudos, does he? Would work in with us unobtrusively, eh?”

“To the greater glory of Inspector Raglan,” I said solemnly.

“Well, well,” said Colonel Melrose breezily in a louder voice, “we must put you wise to the latest developments, M. Poirot.”

“I thank you,” said Poirot. “My friend, Dr. Sheppard, said something of the butler being suspected?”

“That’s all bunkum,” said Raglan instantly. “These high-class servants get in such a funk that they act suspiciously for nothing at all.”

“The fingerprints?” I hinted.

“Nothing like Parker’s.” He gave a faint smile, and added: “And yours and Mr. Raymond’s don’t fit either, doctor.”

“What about those of Captain Ralph Paton?” asked Poirot quietly.

I felt a secret admiration for the way he took the bull by the horns. I saw a look of respect creep into the inspector’s eye.

“I see you don’t let the grass grow under your feet, Mr. Poirot. It will be a pleasure to work with you, I’m sure. We’re going to take that young gentleman’s fingerprints as soon as we can lay hands upon him.”

“I can’t help thinking you’re mistaken, inspector,” said Colonel Melrose warmly. “I’ve known Ralph Paton from a boy upward. He’d never stoop to murder.”

“Maybe not,” said the inspector tonelessly.

“What have you got against him?” I asked.

“Went out just on nine o’clock last night. Was seen in neighborhood of Fernly Park somewhere about nine-thirty. Not been seen since. Believed to be in serious money difficulties. I’ve got a pair of his shoes here—shoes with rubber studs in them. He had two pairs, almost exactly alike. I’m going up now to compare them with those footmarks. The constable is up there seeing that no one tampers with them.”

“We’ll go at once,” said Colonel Melrose. “You and M. Poirot will accompany us, will you not?”

We assented, and all drove up in the colonel’s car. The inspector was anxious to get at once to the footmarks, and asked to be put down at the lodge. About half-way up the drive, on the right, a path branched off which led round to the terrace and the window of Ackroyd’s study.

“Would you like to go with the inspector, M. Poirot?” asked the chief constable, “or would you prefer to examine the study?”

Poirot chose the latter alternative. Parker opened the door to us. His manner was smug and deferential, and he seemed to have recovered from his panic of the night before.

Colonel Melrose took a key from his pocket, and unlocking the door which led into the lobby, he ushered us through into the study.

“Except for the removal of the body, M. Poirot, this room is exactly as it was last night.”

“And the body was found—where?”

As precisely as possible, I described Ackroyd’s position. The arm-chair still stood in front of the fire.

Poirot went and sat down in it.

“The blue letter you speak of, where was it when you left the room?”

“Mr. Ackroyd had laid it down on this little table at his right hand.”

Poirot nodded.

“Except for that, everything was in its place?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Colonel Melrose, would you be so extremely obliging as to sit down in this chair a minute. I thank you. Now, M. le docteur, will you kindly indicate to me the exact position of the dagger?”

I did so, whilst the little man stood in the doorway.

“The hilt of the dagger was plainly visible from the door then. Both you and Parker could see it at once?”

“Yes.”

Poirot went next to the window.

“The electric light was on, of course, when you discovered the body?” he asked over his shoulder.

I assented, and joined him where he was studying the marks on the window-sill.

“The rubber studs are the same pattern as those in Captain Paton’s shoes,” he said quietly.

Then he came back once more to the middle of the room. His eye traveled round, searching everything in the room with a quick, trained glance.

“Are you a man of good observation, Dr. Sheppard?” he asked at last.

“I think so,” I said, surprised.

“There was a fire in the grate, I see. When you broke the door down and found Mr. Ackroyd dead, how was the fire? Was it low?”

I gave a vexed laugh.

“I—I really can’t say. I didn’t notice. Perhaps Mr. Raymond or Major Blunt——”

The little man opposite me shook his head with a faint smile.

“One must always proceed with method. I made an error of judgment in asking you that question. To each man his own knowledge. You could tell me the details of the patient’s appearance—nothing there would escape you. If I wanted information about the papers on that desk, Mr. Raymond would have noticed anything there was to see. To find out about the fire, I must ask the man whose business it is to observe such things. You permit——”

He moved swiftly to the fireplace and rang the bell.

After a lapse of a minute or two Parker appeared.

“The bell rang, sir,” he said hesitatingly.

“Come in, Parker,” said Colonel Melrose. “This gentleman wants to ask you something.”

Parker transferred a respectful attention to Poirot.

“Parker,” said the little man, “when you broke down the door with Dr. Sheppard last night, and found your master dead, what was the state of the fire?”

Parker replied without a pause.

“It had burned very low, sir. It was almost out.”

“Ah!” said Poirot. The exclamation sounded almost triumphant. He went on:—

“Look round you, my good Parker. Is this room exactly as it was then?”

The butler’s eye swept round. It came to rest on the windows.

“The curtains were drawn, sir, and the electric light was on.”

Poirot nodded approval.

“Anything else?”

“Yes, sir, this chair was drawn out a little more.”

He indicated a big grandfather chair to the left of the door between it and the window. I append a plan of the room with the chair in question marked with an X.

“Just show me,” said Poirot.

The butler drew the chair in question out a good two feet from the wall, turning it so that the seat faced the door.

“Voilà ce qui est curieux,” murmured Poirot. “No one would want to sit in a chair in such a position, I fancy. Now who pushed it back into place again, I wonder? Did you, my friend?”

“No, sir,” said Parker. “I was too upset with seeing the master and all.”

Poirot looked across at me.

“Did you, doctor?”

I shook my head.

“It was back in position when I arrived with the police, sir,” put in Parker. “I’m sure of that.”

“Curious,” said Poirot again.

“Raymond or Blunt must have pushed it back,” I suggested. “Surely it isn’t important?”

“It is completely unimportant,” said Poirot. “That is why it is so interesting,” he added softly.

“Excuse me a minute,” said Colonel Melrose. He left the room with Parker.

“Do you think Parker is speaking the truth?” I asked.

“About the chair, yes. Otherwise I do not know. You will find, M. le docteur, if you have much to do with cases of this kind, that they all resemble each other in one thing.”

“What is that?” I asked curiously.

“Every one concerned in them has something to hide.”

“Have I?” I asked, smiling.

Poirot looked at me attentively.

“I think you have,” he said quietly.

“But——”

“Have you told me everything known to you about this young man Paton?” He smiled as I grew red. “Oh! do not fear. I will not press you. I shall learn it in good time.”

“I wish you’d tell me something of your methods,” I said hastily, to cover my confusion. “The point about the fire, for instance?”

“Oh! that was very simple. You leave Mr. Ackroyd at—ten minutes to nine, was it not?”

“Yes, exactly, I should say.”

“The window is then closed and bolted and the door unlocked. At a quarter past ten when the body is discovered, the door is locked and the window is open. Who opened it? Clearly only Mr. Ackroyd himself could have done so, and for one of two reasons. Either because the room became unbearably hot (but since the fire was nearly out and there was a sharp drop in temperature last night, that cannot be the reason), or because he admitted some one that way. And if he admitted some one that way, it must have been some one well known to him, since he had previously shown himself uneasy on the subject of that same window.”

“It sounds very simple,” I said.

“Everything is simple, if you arrange the facts methodically. We are concerned now with the personality of the person who was with him at nine-thirty last night. Everything goes to show that that was the individual admitted by the window, and though Mr. Ackroyd was seen alive later by Miss Flora, we cannot approach a solution of the mystery until we know who that visitor was. The window may have been left open after his departure and so afforded entrance to the murderer, or the same person may have returned a second time. Ah! here is the colonel who returns.”

Colonel Melrose entered with an animated manner.

“That telephone call has been traced at last,” he said. “It did not come from here. It was put through to Dr. Sheppard at 10.15 last night from a public call office at King’s Abbot station. And at 10.23 the night mail leaves for Liverpool.”

CHAPTER VIII INSPECTOR RAGLAN IS CONFIDENT We looked at each other.

“You’ll have inquiries made at the station, of course?” I said.

“Naturally, but I’m not over sanguine as to the result. You know what that station is like.”

I did. King’s Abbot is a mere village, but its station happens to be an important junction. Most of the big expresses stop there, and trains are shunted, re-sorted, and made up. It has two or three public telephone boxes. At that time of night three local trains come in close upon each other, to catch the connection with the express for the north which comes in at 10.19 and leaves at 10.23. The whole place is in a bustle, and the chances of one particular person being noticed telephoning or getting into the express are very small indeed.

“But why telephone at all?” demanded Melrose. “That is what I find so extraordinary. There seems no rhyme or reason in the thing.”

Poirot carefully straightened a china ornament on one of the bookcases.

“Be sure there was a reason,” he said over his shoulder.

“But what reason could it be?”

“When we know that, we shall know everything. This case is very curious and very interesting.”

There was something almost indescribable in the way he said those last words. I felt that he was looking at the case from some peculiar angle of his own, and what he saw I could not tell.

He went to the window and stood there, looking out.

“You say it was nine o’clock, Dr. Sheppard, when you met this stranger outside the gate?”

He asked the question without turning round.

“Yes,” I replied. “I heard the church clock chime the hour.”

“How long would it take him to reach the house—to reach this window, for instance?”

“Five minutes at the outside. Two or three minutes only if he took the path at the right of the drive and came straight here.”

“But to do that he would have to know the way. How can I explain myself?—it would mean that he had been here before—that he knew his surroundings.”

“That is true,” replied Colonel Melrose.

“We could find out, doubtless, if Mr. Ackroyd had received any strangers during the past week?”

“Young Raymond could tell us that,” I said.

“Or Parker,” suggested Colonel Melrose.

“Ou tous les deux,” suggested Poirot, smiling.

Colonel Melrose went in search of Raymond, and I rang the bell once more for Parker.

Colonel Melrose returned almost immediately, accompanied by the young secretary, whom he introduced to Poirot. Geoffrey Raymond was fresh and debonair as ever. He seemed surprised and delighted to make Poirot’s acquaintance.

“No idea you’d been living among us incognito, M. Poirot,” he said. “It will be a great privilege to watch you at work——Hallo, what’s this?”

Poirot had been standing just to the left of the door. Now he moved aside suddenly, and I saw that while my back was turned he must have swiftly drawn out the arm-chair till it stood in the position Parker had indicated.

“Want me to sit in the chair whilst you take a blood test?” asked Raymond good-humoredly. “What’s the idea?”

“M. Raymond, this chair was pulled out—so—last night when Mr. Ackroyd was found killed. Some one moved it back again into place. Did you do so?”

The secretary’s reply came without a second’s hesitation.

“No, indeed I didn’t. I don’t even remember that it was in that position, but it must have been if you say so. Anyway, somebody else must have moved it back to its proper place. Have they destroyed a clew in doing so? Too bad!”

“It is of no consequence,” said the detective. “Of no consequence whatever. What I really want to ask you is this, M. Raymond: Did any stranger come to see Mr. Ackroyd during this past week?”

The secretary reflected for a minute or two, knitting his brows, and during the pause Parker appeared in answer to the bell.

“No,” said Raymond at last. “I can’t remember any one. Can you, Parker?”

“I beg your pardon, sir?”

“Any stranger coming to see Mr. Ackroyd this week?”

The butler reflected for a minute or two.

“There was the young man who came on Wednesday, sir,” he said at last. “From Curtis and Troute, I understood he was.”

Raymond moved this aside with an impatient hand.

“Oh! yes, I remember, but that is not the kind of stranger this gentleman means.” He turned to Poirot. “Mr. Ackroyd had some idea of purchasing a dictaphone,” he explained. “It would have enabled us to get through a lot more work in a limited time. The firm in question sent down their representative, but nothing came of it. Mr. Ackroyd did not make up his mind to purchase.”

Poirot turned to the butler.

“Can you describe this young man to me, my good Parker?”

“He was fair-haired, sir, and short. Very neatly dressed in a blue serge suit. A very presentable young man, sir, for his station in life.”

Poirot turned to me.

“The man you met outside the gate, doctor, was tall, was he not?”

“Yes,” I said. “Somewhere about six feet, I should say.”

“There is nothing in that, then,” declared the Belgian. “I thank you, Parker.”

The butler spoke to Raymond.

“Mr. Hammond has just arrived, sir,” he said. “He is anxious to know if he can be of any service, and he would be glad to have a word with you.”

“I’ll come at once,” said the young man. He hurried out. Poirot looked inquiringly at the chief constable.

“The family solicitor, M. Poirot,” said the latter.

“It is a busy time for this young M. Raymond,” murmured M. Poirot. “He has the air efficient, that one.”

“I believe Mr. Ackroyd considered him a most able secretary.”

“He has been here—how long?”

“Just on two years, I fancy.”

“His duties he fulfills punctiliously. Of that I am sure. In what manner does he amuse himself? Does he go in for le sport?”

“Private secretaries haven’t much time for that sort of thing,” said Colonel Melrose, smiling. “Raymond plays golf, I believe. And tennis in the summer time.”

“He does not attend the courses—I should say the running of the horses?”

“Race meetings? No, I don’t think he’s interested in racing.”

Poirot nodded and seemed to lose interest. He glanced slowly round the study.

“I have seen, I think, all that there is to be seen here.”

I, too, looked round.

“If those walls could speak,” I murmured.

Poirot shook his head.

“A tongue is not enough,” he said. “They would have to have also eyes and ears. But do not be too sure that these dead things”—he touched the top of the bookcase as he spoke—“are always dumb. To me they speak sometimes—chairs, tables—they have their message!”

He turned away towards the door.

“What message?” I cried. “What have they said to you to-day?”

He looked over his shoulder and raised one eyebrow quizzically.

“An opened window,” he said. “A locked door. A chair that apparently moved itself. To all three I say, ‘Why?’ and I find no answer.”

He shook his head, puffed out his chest, and stood blinking at us. He looked ridiculously full of his own importance. It crossed my mind to wonder whether he was really any good as a detective. Had his big reputation been built up on a series of lucky chances?

I think the same thought must have occurred to Colonel Melrose, for he frowned.

“Anything more you want to see, M. Poirot?” he inquired brusquely.

“You would perhaps be so kind as to show me the silver table from which the weapon was taken? After that, I will trespass on your kindness no longer.”

We went to the drawing-room, but on the way the constable waylaid the colonel, and after a muttered conversation the latter excused himself and left us together. I showed Poirot the silver table, and after raising the lid once or twice and letting it fall, he pushed open the window and stepped out on the terrace. I followed him.

Inspector Raglan had just turned the corner of the house, and was coming towards us. His face looked grim and satisfied.

“So there you are, M. Poirot,” he said. “Well, this isn’t going to be much of a case. I’m sorry, too. A nice enough young fellow gone wrong.”

Poirot’s face fell, and he spoke very mildly.

“I’m afraid I shall not be able to be of much aid to you, then?”

“Next time, perhaps,” said the inspector soothingly. “Though we don’t have murders every day in this quiet little corner of the world.”

Poirot’s gaze took on an admiring quality.

“You have been of a marvelous promptness,” he observed. “How exactly did you go to work, if I may ask?”

“Certainly,” said the inspector. “To begin with—method. That’s what I always say—method!”

“Ah!” cried the other. “That, too, is my watchword. Method, order, and the little gray cells.”

“The cells?” said the inspector, staring.

“The little gray cells of the brain,” explained the Belgian.

“Oh, of course; well, we all use them, I suppose.”

“In a greater or lesser degree,” murmured Poirot. “And there are, too, differences in quality. Then there is the psychology of a crime. One must study that.”

“Ah!” said the inspector, “you’ve been bitten with all this psychoanalysis stuff? Now, I’m a plain man——”

“Mrs. Raglan would not agree, I am sure, to that,” said Poirot, making him a little bow.

Inspector Raglan, a little taken aback, bowed.

“You don’t understand,” he said, grinning broadly. “Lord, what a lot of difference language makes. I’m telling you how I set to work. First of all, method. Mr. Ackroyd was last seen alive at a quarter to ten by his niece, Miss Flora Ackroyd. That’s fact number one, isn’t it?”

“If you say so.”

“Well, it is. At half-past ten, the doctor here says that Mr. Ackroyd has been dead at least half an hour. You stick to that, doctor?”

“Certainly,” I said. “Half an hour or longer.”

“Very good. That gives us exactly a quarter of an hour in which the crime must have been committed. I make a list of every one in the house, and work through it, setting down opposite their names where they were and what they were doing between the hour of 9.45 and 10 p.m.”

He handed a sheet of paper to Poirot. I read it over his shoulder. It ran as follows, written in a neat script:—

Major Blunt.—In billiard room with Mr. Raymond. (Latter confirms.)

Mr. Raymond.—Billiard room. (See above.)

Mrs. Ackroyd.—9.45 watching billiard match. Went up to bed 9.55. (Raymond and Blunt watched her up staircase.)

Miss Ackroyd.—Went straight from her uncle’s room upstairs. (Confirmed by Parker, also housemaid, Elsie Dale.)

Servants:—

Parker.—Went straight to butler’s pantry. (Confirmed by housekeeper, Miss Russell, who came down to speak to him about something at 9.47, and remained at least ten minutes.)

Miss Russell.—As above. Spoke to housemaid, Elsie Dale, upstairs at 9.45.

Ursula Bourne (parlormaid).—In her own room until 9.55. Then in Servants’ Hall.

Mrs. Cooper (cook).—In Servants’ Hall.

Gladys Jones (second housemaid).—In Servants’ Hall.

Elsie Dale.—Upstairs in bedroom. Seen there by Miss Russell and Miss Flora Ackroyd.

Mary Thripp (kitchenmaid).—Servants’ Hall.

“The cook has been here seven years, the parlormaid eighteen months, and Parker just over a year. The others are new. Except for something fishy about Parker, they all seem quite all right.”

“A very complete list,” said Poirot, handing it back to him. “I am quite sure that Parker did not do the murder,” he added gravely.

“So is my sister,” I struck in. “And she’s usually right.” Nobody paid any attention to my interpolation.

“That disposes pretty effectually of the household,” continued the inspector. “Now we come to a very grave point. The woman at the lodge—Mary Black—was pulling the curtains last night when she saw Ralph Paton turn in at the gate and go up towards the house.”

“She is sure of that?” I asked sharply.

“Quite sure. She knows him well by sight. He went past very quickly and turned off by the path to the right, which is a short cut to the terrace.”

“And what time was that?” asked Poirot, who had sat with an immovable face.

“Exactly twenty-five minutes past nine,” said the inspector gravely.

There was a silence. Then the inspector spoke again.

“It’s all clear enough. It fits in without a flaw. At twenty-five minutes past nine, Captain Paton is seen passing the lodge; at nine-thirty or thereabouts, Mr. Geoffrey Raymond hears some one in here asking for money and Mr. Ackroyd refusing. What happens next? Captain Paton leaves the same way—through the window. He walks along the terrace, angry and baffled. He comes to the open drawing-room window. Say it’s now a quarter to ten. Miss Flora Ackroyd is saying good-night to her uncle. Major Blunt, Mr. Raymond, and Mrs. Ackroyd are in the billiard room. The drawing-room is empty. He steals in, takes the dagger from the silver table, and returns to the study window. He slips off his shoes, climbs in, and—well, I don’t need to go into details. Then he slips out again and goes off. Hadn’t the nerve to go back to the inn. He makes for the station, rings up from there——”

“Why?” said Poirot softly.

I jumped at the interruption. The little man was leaning forward. His eyes shone with a queer green light.

For a moment Inspector Raglan was taken aback by the question.

“It’s difficult to say exactly why he did that,” he said at last. “But murderers do funny things. You’d know that if you were in the police force. The cleverest of them make stupid mistakes sometimes. But come along and I’ll show you those footprints.”

We followed him round the corner of the terrace to the study window. At a word from Raglan a police constable produced the shoes which had been obtained from the local inn.

The inspector laid them over the marks.

“They’re the same,” he said confidently. “That is to say, they’re not the same pair that actually made these prints. He went away in those. This is a pair just like them, but older—see how the studs are worn down.”

“Surely a great many people wear shoes with rubber studs in them?” asked Poirot.

“That’s so, of course,” said the inspector. “I shouldn’t put so much stress on the footmarks if it wasn’t for everything else.”

“A very foolish young man, Captain Ralph Paton,” said Poirot thoughtfully. “To leave so much evidence of his presence.”

“Ah! well,” said the inspector, “it was a dry, fine night, you know. He left no prints on the terrace or on the graveled path. But, unluckily for him, a spring must have welled up just lately at the end of the path from the drive. See here.”

A small graveled path joined the terrace a few feet away. In one spot, a few yards from its termination, the ground was wet and boggy. Crossing this wet place there were again the marks of footsteps, and amongst them the shoes with rubber studs.

Poirot followed the path on a little way, the inspector by his side.

“You noticed the women’s footprints?” he said suddenly.

The inspector laughed.

“Naturally. But several different women have walked this way—and men as well. It’s a regular short cut to the house, you see. It would be impossible to sort out all the footsteps. After all, it’s the ones on the window-sill that are really important.”

Poirot nodded.

“It’s no good going farther,” said the inspector, as we came in view of the drive. “It’s all graveled again here, and hard as it can be.”

Again Poirot nodded, but his eyes were fixed on a small garden house—a kind of superior summer-house. It was a little to the left of the path ahead of us, and a graveled walk ran up to it.

Poirot lingered about until the inspector had gone back towards the house. Then he looked at me.

“You must have indeed been sent from the good God to replace my friend Hastings,” he said, with a twinkle. “I observe that you do not quit my side. How say you, Dr. Sheppard, shall we investigate that summer-house? It interests me.”

He went up to the door and opened it. Inside, the place was almost dark. There were one or two rustic seats, a croquet set, and some folded deck-chairs.

I was startled to observe my new friend. He had dropped to his hands and knees and was crawling about the floor. Every now and then he shook his head as though not satisfied. Finally, he sat back on his heels.

“Nothing,” he murmured. “Well, perhaps it was not to be expected. But it would have meant so much——”

He broke off, stiffening all over. Then he stretched out his hand to one of the rustic chairs. He detached something from one side of it.

“What is it?” I cried. “What have you found?”

He smiled, unclosing his hand so that I should see what lay in the palm of it. A scrap of stiff white cambric.

I took it from him, looked at it curiously, and then handed it back.

“What do you make of it, eh, my friend?” he asked, eyeing me keenly.

“A scrap torn from a handkerchief,” I suggested, shrugging my shoulders.

He made another dart and picked up a small quill—a goose quill by the look of it.

“And that?” he cried triumphantly. “What do you make of that?”

I only stared.

He slipped the quill into his pocket, and looked again at the scrap of white stuff.

“A fragment of a handkerchief?” he mused. “Perhaps you are right. But remember this—a good laundry does not starch a handkerchief.”

He nodded at me triumphantly, then he put away the scrap carefully in his pocket-book.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I found the article! It was a feature on Kensington High Street. She mentioned Freddie quite a bit more than I had remembered. She's wearing the same blazer Freddie had on for Sunbury 1974, and Biba closed in 75, so it must have been earlier (her age is given as 22). Here it is in full: "For about a week in my life I worked as a copy-typist. I learned it at school. But I didn't like it very much. I had a friend who worked at Biba, when it was just opened, in Kensington Church Street," (1/8)

“and I used to go and help tidy up in the evening. They thought I worked pretty well without even being paid for it, so they gave me a job, and now I've worked for them for seven years, ever since, apart from one long break. That was about three years ago—I went and worked for a magazine, but it didn't work out, so I came back here again. I'm one of quite a large family, but we all drifted apart somehow, I don't see very much of them. I live in a flat in Holland Road," (2/8)

“with Freddie, my boyfriend. He’s a musician and a songwriter and he writes exciting songs that he sings to a big piano we have. No, he hasn’t written a song for me. His grandparents came from Persia: they went to India and then the family went to East Africa. I love going to see his mother. She cooks all these marvelous rice dishes when we go to see her. I’m a self-taught cook. Basic things like how to roast a joint I learned at school. I love doing puddings—Baked Alaska or jam roll—" (3/8)

“and I buy Supercook every week. But Freddie can't cook at all. When I was off sick once, all I got for three days was scrambled eggs. I'm always dieting, but not very successfully. For breakfast I have a grapefruit and some milk. Lunch is a slice of toast and an apple. I don't wear much makeup. I've lost a lot of interest in clothes—things are so expensive now, not like they used to be when you could afford the odd extra thing. I own mainly trousers." (4/8)

"Freddie says, you ought to wear a skirt and air your legs. But I don't. Only very, very rarely. Black is the color that suits me best—black, or else navy. Freddie influences me very much when I'm buying clothes, I'm always surprised by the things he likes to buy me, very bright, very feminine, the sort of thing you can only wear three or four times a year. Once he bought me a really nice white top and sort of two-tier skirt, all ribbons. He likes me to wear very low-cut things." (5/8)

“I used to wear my hair all curly and go to the hairdresser once a week. It seems incredible now. Now I just go once every six months, and have a little bit snipped off the ends. I condition it when I wash it. Just the ends. Holidays—I'm not going to do anything this year. In this job you're working flat out for the whole time then you escape for just one hour at lunchtime—you're either full of nervous energy or completely exhausted." (6/8)

“In the evenings I usually cook something and we sit around and watch TV and then go to bed. Unless suddenly life takes off and it's a lot of parties in a row. I have just one ambition. I'd like to educate myself. I'm not stupid but I'd love to be clever, competent. If I had children I'd want to be able to tell them things, help them learn. I can't cope with anything complicated: I'm just the one they send the girls to when they're unhappy." (7/8)

“If Freddie got himself into a steady thing, then maybe I could stop work and go to college properly. But that's just a dream." Strange to end on something that sounds like a dig at him. (8/8! Hopefully it all went through. Sorry for lengthiness, but it’s the most I’ve seen her talk about their relationship and there’s a lot to consider here.)

---------

Thank you for finding this and sending it! Honestly? This is the most human and likable I've ever seen Mary lmao. It's interesting. Maybe she comes across as more pleasant because this was most likely at a point in their relationship where things were, in her view, going well and she didn't have any reason to feel threatened and become possessive of Freddie. The last sentence honestly could've been her saying that going to college was just a dream of hers, not necessarily Freddie's work becoming steady, but we don't know. It seems like she was the more "competent" one in their relationship in certain respects, such as having a steady job and being able to cook, while Freddie was always a disaster in the kitchen and Queen's success was just starting to pick up then (the image of him only cooking her scrambled eggs while she was sick is very funny).

[nostalgiaispeace]

2232.

1. What is your favorite shade of blue? dark 2. When’s the last time you bought something just because? lol never 3. What Ozzy lyric describes you best? - 4. When was the last time you went for a walk without a specific destination in mind? idk 5. Do you daydream? always

6. What was your last daydream about? well i’m not telling thei nternet 7. Ever won the lottery? lol no 8. How much did you get for your high school graduation? i don’t remember 9. What was the most important decision you made that screwed up your life the most? idk 10. Do you know what your Chinese horoscope is? hmmm i might 11. What is love really about? nothing i can describe right now while i’m exhausted 12. What’s the most you ever made in a year? lol 13. Do you have an online diary? no 14. What’s the biggest pot you’ve won in poker? I’ve never played poker. 15. What’s your most prized possession? my frog 16. What Metallica lyric most describes your life? - 17. Ever been to Ozzfest? no 18. How many concerts have you been to? a lot 19. Which one was your favorite? lana del rey 20. What shade of purple most describes your feelings right now? none 21. Pick a shade of a color. Now describe it to me and name it. light 22. Sun tea or brewed tea? brewed 23. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve done? drugs 24. Ever get busted by the cops? What for? No. 25. What’s under your bed? my cat 26. Vacuum or dustbuster? Vacuum. 27. How many people are on your buddy list? lol 28. How many pairs of rollerblades do/did you own? none 29. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? yeah. britney spears 30. What’s your favorite card game? solitare 31. Who was the most annoying person you’ve talked to on the phone? idk 32. What’s your favorite fast food meal? chick fil a nuggets and mac and cheese 33. Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? idk 34. Lamb chops or pork chops? Neither. 35. How many roses have you received/given? idk 36. When’s the last time you mowed the lawn? years ago 37. Washed your car? years ago 38. Ever have a tornado in your town? not since i’ve lived here — 40. What state is your wardrobe in? fine 41. What’s the last article of clothing you bought? sweats 42. How many trash cans can you see right now? One. 43. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? I don’t know. 44. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yeah. 45. They rock, don’t they? sure 46. What size is your bed? queen 47. When’s the last time you had pigs in a blanket? not that long ago actually 48. Have you ever painted the ceilings in your home? no 49. What does your lawn furniture consist of? lawn chairs 50. Ever live off of canned soup and ramen noodles for weeks at a time? no 51. What flavor of jelly are you? strawberry 52. Ever take any of those online personality quizzes? yeah 53. What musical group/artist do you love, but hide from other people? none 54. What’s on the floor in your bedroom? Nothing. 55. What is the first meal you remember eating? idk 56. Ever been to a drive in? no 57. What was the first movie you ever saw? i don’t remember 56. What’s in your keepsake box/scrapbook? so many things 57. Describe your first date. idk 58. Would you recognize most of your classmates 5 years after graduation? sure 59. What percentile of your class were you in? I have no idea. 60. When was the last time it rained while the sun was shining? I don’t recall. 61. What did you score on your SATs? i don’t remember 62. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? it’s been a bit 63. Name your favorite artist/song from before 1990. zeppelin 64. Do you think there should be new genres of music to encompass some of the newer rock performers out now? no 65. What colors is your lava lamp? - 66. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever hung on the wall? I haven’t hung up anything strange. 67. When’s the last time you did laundry? todayy 68. How many hammers do you own? one 69. Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? yes 70. How many speakers are in your bedroom? none 71. DVD or VHS? dvd 72. What’s the most important thing you ever lost and never found again? idk 73. What forms of birth control have you used? pill and implant 74. How many webpages have you created, and can you still find them all? no 75. You have .30 in two coins. One of them is not a nickel. What are they? uh 76. What’s your pet peeve when cleaning the house? um all of it 77. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? sponges 78. How many people are in your family portrait? three 79. How many times have you moved? too many times 80. Handcuffs or rope :D? Neither. 81. What season best describes your temperament? winter 82. What’s the last thing you had to drink? diet coke 83. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? no 84. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? idk. 85. What do your light fixtures look like? uh normal 86. How many jobs have you held for more than a month? 4 87. Ever punched a wall? yes 88. When’s the last time you really lost your temper? It’s been a long time. 89. How do you cope? i cry 90. What’s your antidrug? idk 91. Ever grown any plants before? What were they? Nope. 92. Ever own a director chair? No. 93. When was the last time you camped out? when i was a kid 94. Went swimming? years ago 95. Went fishing? lol 96. Oust or Glade and why? Glade. 97. Ever thought you (or a girlfriend) were pregnant, but it was a false alarm? yes 98. If 97 is yes, were you glad or sad? well i was pregnant so i was happy 99. Do you have a red-eye mouse or one with a ball? none 100. What do your doorstops look like? - 101. What was the last conversation you had with someone before they died? i don’t remember 102. What do your drinking glasses look like? they’re just solid colors 103. How many bottles/containers are in your medicine cabinet? a lot 104. How many funerals have you been to? a lot 105. How many states have you been to? a lot

106. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? a wasp 107. What does your country need right now? sanity 108. Are you creative? not really 109. How so? – 110. How many computers in your household? Two. 111. Ever help to solve a crime? No. 112. Who is in the picture frame on your bedside table? - 113. How many CDs does your player hold? - 114. What is one thing you’d like to do before you die? go to england 115. Do the good die young or do they die before they have a chance to be bad? um both suck 116. What’s your favorite totally cliche’ saying? everything happens for a reason 117. Ever go out of your way to exact revenge on someone? no 118. Was it worth it? - 119. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? no 120. What’s the weather like right now? HOT 121. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? vodka 122. Do you have a door/doorknob to your room? Yes. 123. Name one thing you regret? lol so many 124. Ever get published by one of those poetry groups? no 125. What’s the furthest distance you’ve moved? states away 126. How many friends from high school/college do you still talk to? a few

127. Where is your home/heart right now? here 128. What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? idk 129. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? my car 130. How many hangers are in your closet? a lot 131. If you died right now, would you feel cheated or happy? happy 132. How many times did you intentionally start to commit suicide? a few 133. Ever spent the night in the “loony bin?” yes 134. What’s wrong with society? lol so much 135. How many crazy ice cream trucks are in your area? none really 136. What is your favorite cover song? i have a lot 137. Does the weather ever seem to reflect your mood eerily? no 138. Are you more psychic than most people? lol no 139. What’s your inspiration? my daughter 140. What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in? the one i’m in now for 8 years 141. Did you ever drop out of school? college 142. Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? No. 143. What is your favorite piece of jewelry? wedding band 144. Ever help someone cheat on someone else? ew no 145. Are you a cheater too? No. 146. What was the last dessert type food you’ve eaten? candy 147. Fill in the blank: I’m a ________aholic. Coffeeholic. 148. When’s the last time you went to a hairdresser/salon? february 149. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? nothing strange 150. Do you own any appliances? yes 151. Do you have an “egg crate” on your bed? no 153. Last time you went to the laundromat? idk 154. How many hinges are on your front door? I’m not sure. 155. Can I be done yet? yes

[lovemesomesurveys]

1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week? It’s only 3:20AM, but so far I’ve just been doing my usual nighttime routine of scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, and listening to ASMR. 

2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hour’s sleep do you consider a decent amount? I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in a very long time. And no matter how much sleep I manage to get or not, I never feel rested.

3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves? Gah, somedays it can literally be anything when I’m in an extra moody, irritable mood. That’s been the norm for me lately. :/ 

4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together? It’s honestly been a few years now since I’ve hung out with someone that wasn’t family. 

5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall? Hot coffee--always. The only other drinks I drink anymore are water and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks, both of which I drink at room temp. Sometimes it might get put in the fridge and I’ll leave it out like an hour or two before I drink it. I’m just weird like that.

6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful? What are waterproofs? Waterproof what?

7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Well, like I said it’s only 3 in the morning so there’s a lot more day left. I’ll go to sleep at some point, get up and drag myself out of bed at some point, get coffee, do my Bible study, check my social medias and whatnot various times, eat, probably read, watch TV, play Animal Crossing, eat dinner, catch up on YouTube videos, and then around midnight or so get into my nighttime routine  of my having my nightly bowl of ramen, watch another YouTube video while I eat, scroll through Tumblr, do surveys, listen to ASMR, sleep, and do it all over again. 

8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home? It really varies. The last time I got it cut was back in February. It doesn’t bother me not getting it cut, but it does badly need to be dyed again.

9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment? My puffy coat, a shirt, leggings, Adidas, and a beanie. That is different than what I’m wearing now since currently I’m not wearing my puffy coat, shoes, or beanie. 

10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains? Beach holiday, please.

11 - Do you know how to tie a tie? Nope. I’ve also never really tried. I haven’t had a reason to.

12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home? Hm. I spent the night at my cousin’s house and my grandparents’ houses as a kid sometimes, probably starting around 8. I wasn’t big on spending the night away from home, though. I always missed my mom haha. I liked having my cousins spend the night at my house instead.

13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family? Not very often anymore. :/ Especially this year. I haven’t seen any extended family since February. Even before COVID days, our get togethers seem to have gotten less and less over the years, sadly. And I’ve missed a few of the family togethers that did happen. It’s sad because I was really close with a few of my cousins growing up and up until a few years ago and saw them quite often, along with my aunts and uncles. Especially when my maternal grandparents were still alive; their house was the get together spot all the time. 

14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine? More like really late afternoon, but yeah. I get up and take my medicine and then I wait for that to kick in and for me to wake up, so during that time I watch TV and check my social medias and email, maybe read a bit. Then I finally drag myself outta bed, use the restroom, and make coffee (or bug my mom or brother about getting me a Starbucks, ha). 

15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears? It was a few days ago. I’ve just been extraaaa moody and irritable and frustrated lately, more so than usual and I thought I already had a problem.

16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey? Do another. I have plenty to catch up on.

17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up? Just some ramen. Ha, I’m not a cook at all, there’s no whipping up anything from scratch. All I do is ramen and stuff I can easily make in the microwave or oven.

18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows? Yeah. I like to add marshmallows and whipped cream. 

19 - What caused your last injury? Hm. It’s been awhile since I’ve had an injury.

20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them? Zero tattoos, two piercings.

21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you? I don’t really have a particular favorite. I think many flowers are pretty and all, but I’m not like super into them. The last time I was given flowers was for my birthday a few years ago.

22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over? I don’t think I’ve ended any kind of relationship over something small.

23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses? Appetizer. Noo, I could not. I get full rather quickly.

24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all? The news app on my phone and on the internet for the most part, but I watch the news on TV sometimes. Or at least I’ll catch some of it. 

25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet? No, thankfully.

26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider? No. 

27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta? Pasta, most definitely. I don’t like white rice, but Spanish rice is good. I’m just more of a pasta gal.

28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you? No.

29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment? There’s a lot of colors going on in here. 

30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed? My laundry was done a couple days ago.

[eldritchsurveys]

1098.

1 - Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it? >> I don’t know how they’re doin it but @lets-make-surveys has basically been holding this community together lately lmao. Literally making surveys faster than I can take them~ Anyway, the last person to give me a gift was probably Sparrow.

2 - Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook? >> I am a passable cook. If I need to make something, and I have the ingredients and tools and space (and instructions, if necessary) for it, then I can usually make it. I haven’t put in enough time and practice to be a good cook.

3 - When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? >> The dishwasher has been broken for a month. We called maintenance three times. They came out twice and appeared to fix it but it’s still not actually fixed. I have no idea what the fuck is going on and I’m over it, myself. I hate apartment appliances so fucking much.

4 - Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain? >> Nope.

5 - Do you have anything exciting planned for the upcoming weekend? >> Nope.

6 - If you could spend two weeks in any city in the world, which city would you pick and why? >> I don’t have a specific preference right now.

7 - When was the last time you tripped or fell in public? if there was nobody around to see you, did you still feel embarrassed? >> I’m pretty sure the last time I fell in public was a couple of years ago, on a patch of black ice by the dumpster. I wasn’t embarrassed, just annoyed and in a mild amount of pain.

8 - The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? >> Peanut butter and raspberry habanero jam.

9 - How many hours sleep did you get last night? Was that enough for you or could you have slept for longer? >> Around eight, I suppose. It was enough for me.

10 - What’s your favourite time of day? What’s your favourite thing to do at that time? >> Morning. I don’t have a favourite thing to do.

11 - Where did you go the last time you left your house? >> Walked around the complex for exercise, then got the mail on the way back in.

12 - Are you tired right now? Will you be going to bed anytime soon? >> No and no. It’s still 5 hours until I start thinking about bed.

13 - How many times a week do you get takeaway coffee, if you get it at all? >> Zero.

14 - What radio station do you listen to the most? >> ---

15 - If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it? >> ---

16 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury pancakes? What toppings do you have on them? >> I like Korean pancakes the best, I think. They’re savoury. I don’t really like breakfast pancakes or whatever.

17 - Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most? >> Not a lot, no. I do crack my knuckles sometimes.

18 - Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? is this something you do on a regular basis? >> No.

19 - For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight? >> The worst thing is the feeling of ennui or just... apathy and malaise that I sometimes feel in the morning. The “what’s the point”-ness, you know. It usually dissipates if I manage to push myself out of bed and start doing things, but it’s just the initial push that’s the hardest. The only worst thing about going to bed is having to stop doing stuff that I enjoy so I can go to sleep.

20 - Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? >> If I’m going to drink a soda, it’s going to be regular. But I don’t really like soda, so.

21 - What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day? >> Lounge pants or sweats and an undershirt (with a hoodie, in winter).

22 - When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser? >> Like four years ago. Sparrow did it.

23 - Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it? >> No.

24 - Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? >> No.

25 - When was the last time you baked a cake? What cake was it? >> I don’t bake cakes.

26 - Do you like wearing bows or accessories in your hair? >> I don’t have enough hair to put accessories in.

27 - How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read? >> I mean, it depends on the year, don’t it? This year I’ve read about 35 or so. I do enjoy reading, but sometimes I get in these moods where I can’t stay satisfied in one book long enough to finish it and I just jump around a lot. Which, I guess, isn’t a negative thing in itself. Maybe I need to find more engaging books, or maybe it’s okay if I just cherry-pick for a while. But, you know, brain goblin be like “read ONE BOOK from beginning TO END” as if it really fucking matters, lol. I can do what I want, it’s my leisure activity.

28 - If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? >> Sparrow’s cat came from a sanctuary for cats with FIV.

29 - Do you make your bed every morning when you get up? >> I turn the sheet and blanket down, and that’s all that’s necessary in my opinion.

30 - When was the last time you got takeaway food? Was it good? >> I don’t remember, but probably.

[melaschnie]

Quarantine Q&A

Thank you for tagging me @siristudies!

1. Are you staying home from work/school? Well, since I have no uni to go to atm, I am. I’m still tutoring though, which became much more frequent due to the closed schools

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? My mum and my dad comes come at the weekends

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Nope

4. Who do you miss the most? My teammates and friends

5. When was the last time you left your home? Like 2 hours ago when my mum and I left to go on a walk and got some ice cream on the way - that became a pretty regular thing over the last few weeks actually. You know, supporting local businesses and stuff. Absolutely nooo other reason

6. What was the last thing you bought? The previously mentioned ice cream

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I’m good. Because nothing much changed for me I don’t feel like the measures affect me that much. Things would’ve been different if I would’ve gotten an internship earlier but well, I didn’t sooo

8. Are you a homebody? Absolutely

9. What movies have you watched recently? Pretty sure it was a Harry Potter movie that I watched last but right now I couldn’t keep track of that if my life depended on it

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? Volleyball Super Finals in Berlin. My mum and I went last year and it’s been amazing so we got tickets for this year aswell

11. What’s the worst thing that you’ve had to cancel? My best friend and I originally wanted to do a joint birthday party again because our birthdays are only two weeks apart but we didn’t even do any concrete planning for that because it was clear very early that we wouldn’t be able to do that this year

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? I can’t really think of something that I was happy to cancel? Or maybe I got this and the last question wrong...?

13. Do you have any new hobbies? Nah. Same old, same old.

14. What are you out of? The ability to keep my mind focused on tasks/things that take more than 10 minutes. Except for the rare movie or book or youtube video. But literally everything I need to actually think about

15. What music are you listening to? I’m going through phases with music as much as I do with food. Right now I’m in-between pop and edm

16. What shows are you watching? like I said, I don’t really have the right mind for shows right now but I’m still working on Ragnarök in Norwegian and of course I’m watching old episodes of Navy CIS on tv (have I mentioned that show is my all time fav show? well, now u know :) )

17. What are you reading? some statistics comic book that I got for Christmas but I don’t know the title 

18. What are you doing of self-care? Singing in my car when I’m on my way to tutoring and back. That always works for me.

19. Are you exercising? I should and in the beginning of quarantine I did like four times. But since then I’m totally slacking off

20. How’s your toilet paper supply? We’re pretty good even though supplies in German grocery stores were quite low for a while. People here are strange sometimes

21. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? No, and I only go to a hairdresser once every 4-6 months anyway so I’m good!

I’m tagging @softly-studying, @studyincolours and @white-carrots!

[tearlessrain]

Tag Game

Tagged by @betweentimeand42 (thank you!!)

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people, except who knows 21 people?

Name: Rhys

Nickname: Don’t really have one but I used to be called Haybales back in high school, which made more sense ten years ago

Gender: Male, in a gay-coded anime villain kinda way

Star sign: Virgo, the least interesting entry on every fauxstrology post

Current time: 12:25pm

Song stuck in my head: In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel

Last movie I saw: man I don’t even know, I’ve mostly been watching shows but I think it was Return of the King like two weeks ago

Last thing I googled: unfortunately it’s “david bowie hand bra” because I was midway through recording for a friend’s podcast episode about bowie and absolutely needed her to see the sparkly hand bra from the 1980 floor show, because it’s awful and everyone should see it

Other blogs: my art blog is @tearlessrainart and that’s the main one, I also have @gryphons-of-aentha for rambling about my gryphon universe and @yeehaw-but-in-elvish for rambling about my elves and cowboys universe

Do I get asks: Very rarely, usually regarding the lobster ballad

Reason for your url: I was just smashing words together until I found something that wasn’t taken back in like 2006 and that’s how I got my deviantart username which I then also used for my blog, and now I’ve had it too long to change it

Following: 285 which is actually high for me

Average sleep: 7-8ish but which 7-8 hours has varied widely lately. trying to fix that.

Lucky number: gotta be honest I don’t even slightly understand how lucky numbers are supposed to work

Currently wearing: my horrid see-through star wars tank top that isn’t supposed to be see through it was just very poorly made and got like that after like three washes, and the same jeans I’ve been wearing for the last three days because I don’t leave the house anymore

Dream job: I’ve enjoyed hairdressing a surprising amount and hopefully will get into sfx makeup in the not too distant future, but honestly sometimes I really miss doing archival work for the state arts commission. it was quiet and I could just listen to music and nobody would talk to me for hours and sometimes I got covered in spiders which wasn’t great but it was a small downside really. and I’m just realizing this sounds like a jokey magnus archives reference; it’s not, spiders just like to get into the nooks and crannies of artwork and then when you have to unframe it sometimes you get a surprise. also I accidentally punched myself in the face trying to get bubble wrap off a gigantic ceramic piece once.

really though can I not aspire to just live in a lighthouse and be the mysterious town hermit and go to ren fairs to read tarot cards and sell art? must I want a career? I don’t and never have I just live in a capitalist society and have to make the best of it.

Dream trip: Mostly I just want to go back to Scotland tbh and possibly not leave.

Favorite food: good salmon nigiri. sushi in general but especially that. smeagol was wrong about almost everything but he was 100% right about raw fish.

Instruments: Flute, I have a melodica and can technically play it but not well, and I have a guitar I can’t play at all that isn’t really even mine it belonged to one of my parents and for some reason I have it

Favorite song: it changes by the hour I don’t know what to tell you. at the moment I’m kinda vibing with Love Like You from Steven Universe, even though I don’t remotely like Steven Universe. that specific song slaps though, I have it on a few writing playlists.

tagging @vampiraptor @raemanzu @kelcipher @edolicious @deadciv @moonmoontheotter @distortionsoul @targmiilk @noldork @overprepared-bisexual honestly anyone if you want to do it just say I tagged you

[smkkbert]

Mothers know best

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

Rating: Explicit

Previous chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11 12 13 

Chapter 14 of 22

= The remnants of sound that stay in the ears of the hearer (Chinese)

Scrutinizing his face in the mirror, Oliver guessed that there had never been a groom that had looked more miserable than he was looking right now. His eyes were glassy and the expression in them tired. Dark shadows had formed beneath his eyes, building a sharp contrast to his pale skin. His hair and stubble were a little longer than was good for him as he had missed his appointment with the hairdresser yesterday. Even the grooms in Vegas, who had been partying with alcohol and drugs and had had little to no sleep for three days, probably looked fitter than he did right now.

With a long sigh, Oliver lifted his hands to his face. His fingers and palms rubbed over his face firmly, trying to chase the tiredness away from it. No groom should look like he was about to pass out into a comatose sleep less than an hour before his wedding, especially when the bachelor’s night had been antedated so far before the wedding to keep this from happening.

When Oliver lowered his hands again to look at his face once more, he figured that he only looked more tousled now with the red spots all over his face. If he was asked about it, he guessed he would just tell the truth and say that he hadn’t slept much the past few nights. He would just keep that little detail that he had been sleepless because of his one-night-stand with his best friend rather than his excitement about the wedding to himself.

Squeezing his eyes shut Oliver took in a deep breath. He held the air in his lungs for a long moment before he breathed out slightly, releasing just a little of breath at a time.

Today was not the right day to think about this. In less than an hour, McKenna would be led down the aisle by her father. She would smile at him, excited about the best day of her life. That was the only thing he should focus on right now. That was the only thing that should matter today.

Straightening his shoulders as if the posture of his body alone would allow him to be the good and honorable man his parents had tried to make of him, Oliver took in another breath. He lifted his hands to his bowtie and turned around to the mirror once more. He avoided the sight of his face and just focused on the bowtie instead.

Even without seeing it in the mirror, Oliver knew that his fingers were trembling slightly. It made tying it even harder than it already was as Oliver had never been really good at tying his bowtie or a normal tie at all. He gave it three tries before he gave up eventually, ripping the bowtie from his neck and tossing it to the floor.

Where the hell was Felicity?

In all the years he had needed to wear a tie or a bowtie, she had been the one to tie it for him. At least in those rare moments when she had been around to tie it for him, she had done so. Other times, Raisa was doing so for him, especially since his job demanded him to wear a tie each and every day now.

Anyway, Felicity was still his best man or woman or whatever, so it was her job to come here and tie his bowtie and tell him to relax or drink a couple of shots with him to ease his mind from his nervousness. She still hadn’t shown up though.

The unwell feeling that Felicity wasn’t going to show up at all snuck its way even closer to his heart now. It had impeded upon him over the last days as he and Felicity had barely seen each other or talked to one another. He hadn’t had an opportunity to ask her if she was still in for being his best woman.

Maybe Oliver could have asked her last night when they had met on the terrace behind the mansion, escaping the rehearsal dinner for a little while. He had been so surprised to find her there that he hadn’t been able to remember that question at that time, and she had left right after their little encounter outside. Felicity hadn’t said anything either which he guess was quite unfair. If she had decided not to come, she could have at least sent a text and let him now.

Putting his hands into his hips Oliver clenched his jaws and took in a deep breath, but it did nothing to calm him anger.

It had been Felicity’s wish to never talk about that night again and pretend that it hadn’t happened. He had done his best to keep his side of the promise. If Felicity wasn’t coming today, he guessed he knew that she wasn’t keeping her part of it though.

Oliver shook his head firmly, once more trying to chase those thoughts away as there was no time for them today. Glancing at his watch, he realized that there were only forty minutes until McKenna was going to make her big entrance, so he only had around twenty-five minutes left to get a grip on himself.

He would ask John to be his best man and get over with this wedding and finally move on from what had happened. He would be happy with McKenna.

Releasing a dark growl of frustration, Oliver started pacing up and down the room with quick steps. He alternated between squeezing his eyes shut and looking around his room unfocusedly.

It had been a terrible decision to get ready here in the room he had spent his childhood and his youth in. It was still the same desk where Felicity had helped him with his homework, so he wouldn’t fail all of his classes because of his laziness. The bathroom was still the same one where they had had a water fight and flooded almost the entire bed when they had been supposed to just clean themselves from the mug of the forest. The bed was the same bed where he and Felicity had laid snuggled up after a night of partying, catching some sleep.

This room held too many memories of Felicity, and each one of it seemed to be tainted now that their friendship was barely hanging by a thread. Weeks ago, their friendship had seemed indestructible and Oliver would have taken any bet that he and Felicity would still be friends when they were sitting in some retirement home, searching for their choppers.

A flash of memory took back back to how Felicity’s teeth had scratched over his sensitive skin slightly. The memory still made goosebumps spread on his skin.

God, why couldn’t he stop thinking about that night with Felicity?

As much as he tried and he had really tried so hard, he could still feel her fingers on his skin. He could remember the way her skin had smelled as a thin layer of sweat had started covering her chest. Her moans as she let the pleasure take over still sounded in his heart like an earworm. The taste of her lips and tongue and her center of pleasure were still on his tongue.

He felt his cock almost twitch at the bare memory of having sex with Felicity and it only made him growl out even louder and darker.

Maybe doing the right thing wasn’t the actually right thing.

The thought had crossed his mind more than once in the last couple of weeks. He knew that living up to a promise he had made was important, but pretending he was living up to it was probably even worse than admitting that he couldn’t keep it. He wasn’t sure if it made sense phrasing it that way or if it just made sense in his head.

Apparently, he was taking up on Felicity’s babbling and awry way of thoughts now.

A few months ago, everything had seemed so clear. He was supposed to get married to McKenna, while Felicity was getting married to Carter. They would be best friends, letting their kids grow up together side by side like they had grown up side by side, and they would work together to make Queen Consolidated even more successful.

None of this would happen though because they had ruined everything they had had. Their friendship wasn’t the same anymore and it would never be what it had been.

The pain of that realization would probably accompany him for a long time, and it might not ever go away. The pain would ease eventually though because he was getting married to McKenna, a wonderful woman that he shared so many interests with and that he would have a great life with. Once the first confusion about his misstep with Felicity had faded, it would get easier. At least between him and McKenna things might go back to normal again.

At least Oliver hoped so.

A soft knock at the door made Oliver spin around quickly. His heart jumped at into his throat at the hope that maybe Felicity had changed her mind or it had all been one big misunderstanding.

“Yes?”

He was pretty sure that his father could see the disappointment that spread on Oliver’s face the very moment he realized that it was not Felicity. With one hand pushed into the pocket of his pants and the other hand still on the door handle, his father watched him up and down.

Oliver didn’t know what it was, but there was something about the expression in his old man’s face that made him avoid his gaze. His thumb was rubbing against the other fingertips nervously. Even without looking at his father, his eyes seemed to creep right under Oliver’s skin.

“How are you doing?”

Robert’s voice was soft, but there was a slight suspicion audible in it. Oliver lifted his gaze to his father’s face briefly, and he wasn’t surprised to find the same expression in his eyes. Unable to take it, he lowered his eyes again quickly and busied himself with his cufflinks, the very same cufflinks his father had worn at his wedding day.

“Nervous,” Oliver whispered, his voice raspy. “And I can’t tie my bowtie.”

An amused smile played on Robert’s lips briefly before he closed the door behind himself and crossed the room slowly. He leaned down to pick up the bowtie from the floor before he stepped in front of his son. Without saying a word, he put the bowtie back around Oliver’s neck and started tying it.

Oliver sucked in another deep breath, still doing his best not to look at his father’s face. He felt nauseated and so close to collapsing that he had no idea how he was supposed to make it through this day.

“When I got married to your mother,” Robert said eventually, still busy with the bowtie, “I was so nervous that I thought I almost ran away.”

“Mom might have mentioned it.”

Robert smiled. “I know she knew that I was nervous. Everyone knew that I was nervous because it was written all over my face days before the wedding already and I think I have thrown up at the bare mention of the wedding several times. I doubt that even your mother knew that I actually had a friend in a car waiting behind the church in case I changed my mind and wanted to run away after all.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, looking at his father with honest surprise. All his life, he had never seen his father losing control or being anything but absolutely calm and confident. He could imagine him being a little nervous, but he couldn’t imagine him going that far.

“Really?”

“Really,” Robert replied and tugged at the bowtie until it was perfectly in place. “It just felt like an incredibly big step. With all eyes on me and your mom, I was afraid. I knew that there was no person that could make me happier than your mother and that I needed her in my life to be happy. Hence, instead of running, I gathered my courage and stayed. I never regretted it.”

Nodding slowly, Oliver tried to envision his dad being all nervous and thinking about that getaway car while he was being driven to the chapel where he was supposed to get married. Somehow, he was unable to picture that though.

When Oliver focused on his father’s face again, the man was smiling amusedly.

“Well, I have rarely regretted it,” he said, making Oliver snort quietly. “Still, a Las Vegas wedding would have made a lot of things easier.”

Oliver sighed. Since he was a child, his mother was shaking her head judgingly whenever there was a mention of a Las Vegas wedding. As soon as she was out of earshot, his father had leaned down to him and told him that he believed Las Vegas weddings were exactly what people should go for. They didn’t rob too much of your time with annoying planning that everyone would criticize later anyway and you always had an excuse for why it didn’t work out at the end.

His father had always insisted on this, but Oliver had known a Las Vegas wedding would never been in the cards for him. His mother would never let him have that fun or kill him the minute he was back in Starling.

“You are not helping,” Oliver said eventually. “I mean there was like two hundred guests down there and everything is fancy and planned up to the last little detail.”

Robert nodded slowly, watching his son with nosy and urgent eyes.

Once more, Oliver really wished Felicity was here. She was skilled at calming him down. She would know what to do and say, at least if this was the normal pre-wedding nervousness.

Glancing at his watch, Oliver clenched his teeth. He knew it was pointless to still hold onto hope. As often as he had thought to himself that Felicity wasn’t coming, he just couldn’t give up yet. Until he had said his vows, he would hope Felicity would come in whenever a door would open. He couldn’t help himself.

“Ceremony starts in thirty minutes,” Oliver said quietly and moved his hand through his hair. “Felicity’s still not here.”

He knew he could say these words to his father because his parents would be suspicious if he didn’t ask about her at all anyway. They knew that he and Felicity were inseparable. Everyone knew, so he would have to face a lot of questions about her. He guessed he could already practice excusing Felicity.

“And she’s not going to come.”

Oliver’s eyes snapped towards his father. He looked at him urgently, trying to read all the information he wasn’t saying yet. Of course, the details of what his father knew about Felicity’s absence weren’t written on his forehead though which was a pity as his father made no attempt at telling Oliver.

“What do you mean?” Oliver asked in consequence. “Where is Felicity?”

Robert took in a deep breath and pulled his hand from the pocket of his pants. He rested it on Oliver’s shoulder like he often did when they were having a serious conversation. While his father was just looking at him with calm eyes, Oliver wanted to ask again because he just needed to know what he knew.

Even before his father told him, Oliver got the suspicion that whatever he would tell him would make him lose his ground once more.

“Felicity’s moving to Metropolis today,” Robert told him. “She’s probably at the airport already.”

Oliver held his breath, trying to process the words, but they didn’t seem to make any sense. Felicity had been in Metropolis right after his bachelor’s party because she had met up with Lena Luthor to discuss the terms of a collaboration. She had just moved here and bought that cozy townhouse with the reader’s corner she had always wanted. Her home was here in Starling City.

His frown deepened even more and he looked at his father like he had just told him that he was actually an alien who had come to this earth to fight the process of technology. Admittedly, it sounded just as probably to Oliver as the words his father had actually said to him.

“What?”

Robert smiled indulgently and squeezed Oliver’s shoulder. There was a glimpse of sadness in his eyes that told Oliver that this was no bad joke. His father was actually telling him the truth, and given how much he loved Felicity he wasn’t exactly happy about it.

“Lena Luthor offered her a job at Metropolis,” Robert explained to her. “She is going to lead a subsidiary of LuthorCorp, doing research on medical engineering. We might soon have to negotiate the terms of a collaboration with Smoak Tech.”

Smoak Tech. The name filled him with pride, knowing that Felicity would make that subsidiary the most successful company possible. With her passion and her skills, she could turn everything she touched into gold. Men in the business, foolish men at least, would smile when she entered a room because they would only see a short blonde with glasses. Within seconds Felicity would prove to them that she should never be underestimated though because knew exactly what she was doing. She was that kind of person.

At the same time, the idea that there was a Smoak Tech scared him. If there was a Smoak Tech, there was no way Felicity was still working with him. They’d be competitors rather than partners as it had been supposed to be.

Oliver didn’t understand. Of course he knew how much it would mean to Felicity to build something of her own and having her work actually carry her name rather than the Queen name. He knew how much Queen Consolidated meant to her though. This had been the place she had been able to first try her skills. This had been the place, she had first been really challenged to become better.

Maybe he could believe that she left Starling City or even him behind. He couldn’t believe that she would just leave Queen Consolidated behind like that.

He felt like she had just been punched into the stomach and could barely breathe. Everything inside of him hurt. He might have been able to accept that his friendship with Felicity would never be the same, but scratching her out of his life completely felt impossible.

“But why?” he asked. “Why would she leave Starling or Queen Consolidated? Why would she leave- here?”

It took a lot of him to swallow down the little word me. He did understand why she would leave him after everything that had happened, and still he felt like it didn’t make sense. After everything that had happened, he knew more than ever that he needed Felicity in his life. Without her, everything lost its color, and everything was felt bleak.

“I thought you were the one you could tell me that.”

Oliver looked at his father briefly before he turned his eyes away. Of course he was the one person who should be able to explain it. He was Felicity’s best friend, the person she trusted with more than anyone else.

At least for the eyes of the others that was true.

“I guess Felicity just needs more challenges than Queen Consolidated can offer. She has never been the kind of person to have got it made. She wants to work for everything she gets because she wants to feel like she has really earned it.” Oliver nodded his head slowly, figuring that it wasn’t just an excuse but the actual truth. “Felicity loves Queen Consolidated, but she doesn’t want to take anything more from the Queen family, I guess. She always felt like she owed you and mom something for everything you did for her. She probably felt like it was time to stand on her own feet.”

It actually made a lot of sense. Felicity had always said that she wouldn’t be where she was if it hadn’t been for the Queen Family. As much as Oliver had disagreed, insisting that she would have found another way to make it on her own, Felicity had never really believed it. She had always believed that it was the Queen's’ money that had allowed her to go to these great schools and good colleges and that had opened her the doors to all the companies.

At one point, Oliver had thought that maybe it would have been better if their mothers had never been friends. If Felicity had actually been forced to fight her way all the way through the consequences of her father’s actions without the safety net of her mother’s friends, maybe she would think more highly of herself and her skills. He knew that his family’s money had made Felicity’s life more comfortable, but he didn’t doubt that she would have made her way all the way through it nonetheless. She was Felicity Megan Smoak after all.

“Besides, Carter was one of the main reasons for her to come here. I guess the break-up changed a lot for her. She might need some distance to recover and just start over somewhere new where she isn’t known as the poor child the Queen Family took in and the young woman that was engaged to Carter Bowen but was dumped before they even got to pick a date for their wedding.”

“And here I was thinking that it had a lot more to do with the fact that you two had sex after your bachelor’s party.”

Oliver looked at his father with wide eyes. He almost wanted to deny it and say that none of it was true, but the expression on his father’s face told him that there was no point in lying. Robert wasn’t just taking a wild guess. He knew that it was the truth.

Narrowing his eyes at his father closely, Oliver asked, “How do you know?”

It was a stupid question. Only two people had been there when it had happened. Only two people had known that that night had happened. He hadn’t told anyone about it, so that only left one option.

Holding his breath, Oliver looked at Robert and waited for his reply. Although he knew the answer to his question already, he needed to hear his father say it.

“Felicity told me.”

Of course she had. Felicity had suggested going back to normal, but she hadn’t talked to him in a long time. Felicity had insisted that they could never be anything but friends, but she had run at the first opportunity given to escape their new reality. Felicity had demanded his silence, but she had told his father.

After everything he and Felicity had gone through and after everything they had experienced together and alone, he hadn’t thought that he could ever feel so disappointed. How could she just leave him without even telling him or give him the opportunity to say goodbye to her? He had really believed that they were better than that.

“So, she is just leaving?” Oliver asked, his anger audible in his voice. “She is just packing her stuff and going away without giving me the chance of saying goodbye or allowing any kind of conversation about what has happened? I tried to talk to her about it, but she blocked every kind of conversation. She didn’t allow me to talk to anybody about what has happened, but of course those rules don’t apply to her, so she just told you.”

Of all the people Felicity could have told, she had told Robert. She had told his father about what had happened. He knew that his father was kind of her father too because Robert had taken on the place Noah Kuttler had left in Felicity’s life. Usually, he was good at sharing everything he owned and everyone he held dear with Felicity, but right now it was just too much. Everything was way too much.

“So,” Oliver said, gesturing wildly, “I guess now that Felicity told you, you are taking her side. I mean she’s poor, little Felicity. She was left by her dad. She had abandonment issues and she was just left by her fiancé. She has the right to feel out of place, and I was just an ass using the situation and using her for my own pleasure.”

Robert looked at him with calm eyes. He cocked his head slightly, looking Oliver up and down like he had always done when he had been a child. Whatever his father was going to say next, Oliver already knew that it would make him incredibly angry.

“Is that what happened?” Robert asked. “Did you use her situation and use Felicity?”

Anger was not the right word for what he was feeling. Oliver was furious. He was mad as hell for the bare thought that he would ever use Felicity or whatever pain she had been going through for his own good.

“Of course not!” he yelled. “Of course I didn’t use her. Felicity and I got closer. We kissed. It happened. We both wanted it. I didn’t seduce her. I didn’t make her do something that she didn’t want to do. I would never do that, but of course you are taking her side over mine.”

Immediately, Robert lifted his hands. He looked at his son with still calm eyes, shaking his head slightly. His eyes never wavered from Oliver’s face though.

“I am not taking either one’s side here,” Robert said, his voice as calm as the expression in his eyes. “I just think the both of you are incredibly stupid for pretending that nothing really happened and just going on with your life like this.”

Oliver didn’t know what surprised him more. Since his father had always had a little more affection for his daughters, he had been sure that he would take Felicity’s side no matter what had happened. That he wasn’t taking her side neither his side but actually blaming them both the same surprised him. He guessed it really was the entirety of his father’s reaction that surprised him, including the implication that they should actively deal with what had happened.

Oliver couldn’t count how many times he had wondered if there was more between Felicity and him. He had questioned whether or not they should take actions after the night they had spent together. At the end of the day, he had always come back to what was right. He and Felicity were friends. That was it.

“Felicity and I are friends,” Oliver said firmly. “We have always been friends and we were never be supposed anything else than that.”

Those words sounded right as he said them out loud. No matter what he might have thought before, he knew this was the actual truth. It was what his life with Felicity had always been supposed to be like.

Robert released a deep sigh, shaking his head. “Oliver, it was really charming and amusing when you and Felicity were this stubborn as children. I could have watched you two trying not to break the silence first. Now that you are adults and your actions are hurting yourself, it’s really annoying to watch.”

Oliver frowned at his father, unsure what he meant. He and Felicity were both stubborn and they meant a lot for each other, but there was nothing annoying about them. The situation was just complicated.

Releasing a long sigh of his own, Oliver went over to the window. He looked out into the garden where most guests had already taken their seats. In less than half an hour he would be expected down there too. This was not the kind of conversation he should have right now.

This was the last conversation Oliver would have before getting married. This was his last opportunity to say certain things. Once he was married, those words would have to be left unsaid forever. It would be cruel to say them out loud after tying himself to McKenna in every way humanly possible.

“If Felicity wanted to be with me,” Oliver said, turning around to his father slowly, “she could have done something about it. I tried to get through to her. I tried to tell her how much I miss her, but she blocked me. She said we shouldn’t talk to anyone and that we should forget about it. That’s it.”

It was terrible saying this right before his wedding. Even without saying it, his words were enough to implicate that he might have wished for a different outcome. If it had been up to him, maybe Oliver would have acted on what had happened. Maybe this day wouldn’t be his wedding day.

“I love you, Oliver, and I want you to be happy,” Robert said, his voice firm and leaving no doubt that he meant it, “which is why I feel it’s my obligation to tell you that you just haven’t tried hard enough.”

Another wave of anger roamed through Oliver’s chest. Heat spread inside of his body, taking over every cell of his body. It was a good thing because if he wasn’t be able to be angry, he’d probably break down at the indication that it was his fault this entire situation was just so screwed up.

“I haven’t tried hard enough?” Oliver asked, his voice so angry that he was sure his father could hear how close to freaking out he was. “Of course, I am the problem. Felicity tells me to forget about it and runs away, but I haven’t tried hard enough.”

Robert released another long sigh. He wasn’t annoyed, but he seemed kind of tired like he had been fighting an opponent who had refused to give in over decades. Maybe that was true here. Maybe his father had seen something that had been there all along. With how he had acted compared to his mother and Donna, Oliver doubted it though.

“You are the one who is still engaged, Oliver,” Robert said with gentle voice. “You are the one who has more pull here.”

Oliver doubted that was true. Most of his life, he had done what Felicity had said he should do. He had always trusted her judgement, knowing she was just so much smarter than he was. She had to know that he would just follow her example, no matter what she would suggest or what he would actually want.

“I-“

“If you would have really wanted this,” Robert interrupted him, shaking his head slightly, “you could have broken off your engagement and showed Felicity that you are available. Just like Felicity, you were scared though. You both chose to run away rather than to go all in and give it a try because you were afraid of ending up with nothing left. I understand that, but it doesn’t make the situation any easier for either of you.”

Maybe his father was right. His father was probably right. It was way too late to admit that there might be more than friendship between them though. It was his and McKenna’s wedding day after all.

“If you are getting married to McKenna because you feel like you owe her to do so,” Robert continued after a moment, “you are not doing a favor to either of you. You are putting both of you into misery. So whatever good you think you are doing for her, you will never be able to make her happy if you are in love with someone else.”

“Felicity and I are friends,” he insisted with firm voice. “Whatever could have been, it’s too late for that.”

Robert released another long sigh, shaking his head. With slow steps, he crossed the distance and closed the distance towards his son. He only stopped in front of him, putting his hands to Oliver’s shoulders the way he had done at the very start of their conversation.

“I know this decision is a scary one to make because you could go out of this without having anything left,” Robert told him, “but it might be worth it. The only person he can decide on that is you though.”

Looking in his son’s eyes urgently, Robert stayed where he was for a long moment. He didn’t need to say anything else to lend weight to his words. The expression in his eyes alone was enough for him to know. His father meant what he said. He really wanted him to reconsider his decision now instead of preparing himself for the wedding.

That being said, Robert squeezed his son’s shoulder once more before he turned around and walked away, leaving Oliver alone in the room.

Oliver took in a deep breath. When he tried to hold it into his lungs for a moment like he usually did, he found himself unable to do so. He breathed out, releasing the breath in a long sigh of exhaustion. He really was exhausted. He was exhausted about the wedding. He was exhausted about wondering whether or not he and Felicity were still friends or anything at all. He was exhausted of all of it.

Soon, Oliver felt like he was choking. There didn’t seem to be enough oxygen in the room for him to stay here. His chest was hurting from the lack of oxygen in his lungs, and the pain spread all through his body. He couldn’t breathe.

With large steps, Oliver went over to the doors that led to the balcony. He pushed them open and stepped outside. Though the air outside was a lot fresher, it didn’t help to make his breathing any easier. He still felt like the oxygen wasn’t being spread from her lungs through the rest of her bodies.

A thousand emotions were running through Oliver’s body, his heart and his soul. This situation he and Felicity had gotten himself in seemed only to get more complicated by each second. Maybe they had ruined their friendship with their night together, but it was the way they were handling it that was ruining everything they had had before.

Oliver didn’t know if things would have been different if that one night had happened earlier. A part of him wanted to believe that it was the truth and it was just their timing that was bad. If that was true, at least that would mean that all of this wouldn’t have been for nothing. There would have been some greater good to it.

There had been a time, shortly before Felicity’s high school prom, that he had felt drawn towards her. He had thought that it had been the dooming feeling knowing he would lose her when she went to MIT. When he had wanted to ask her out for prom, only to discover that she had decided to go there with Cooper Sheldon, he had realized that there had been something more though.

God, Oliver could still bite his ass thinking that he had missed his chance back then by a second. If he had realized a day earlier that maybe there could be something more between them, maybe Felicity would have never gone to her prom with Cooper or started a relationship with her. He might have been the one to dance with her on her and they might have been together ever since.

Over the years, Oliver had forced those thoughts out of his mind. He had known that they would only drive him crazy. They would always keep him from being happy in any relationship. Only now that he had Felicity had crossed that line they had danced on for so long, he was unable to keep those thoughts out of his head.

His father was wrong in a lot of things, but there was one thing he guessed his father was right at. Whatever he would do, he would never be able to make McKenna happy if there was the slightest chance that there was something more between him and Felicity.

It was way too late to break off this engagement and stop from continuing down this path of pain and misery now, but he had to pull the emergency brakes.

Turning around to leave this room and have the conversation that he should have had weeks ago, Oliver stopped when he saw McKenna standing in the door to the terrace. She looked beautiful, stunning even. The fine white lace fitted around her body perfectly. It embraced her and emphasized the soft curves of her breasts and hips. With the elegant updo of her hair, her fine neck that he had loved to so kiss so much these last years looked even longer.

“You-“ Oliver had to take in a deep breath and swallowed down hard. “You look beautiful.”

McKenna flashed him a brief smile. It looked honest though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She turned around herself slowly, letting Oliver see the deep neckline of her back and the way her butt looked even more curvy in the dress. When their eyes met again, Oliver just nodded his head, unable to find any other words to say than those he had said before already.

Oliver had to bite back a growl. McKenna didn’t deserve this to happen, especially not today. Maybe if he had found the courage to admit to himself what he had only admitted to himself now, we wouldn’t feel like a monster for what he had to do now.

Already opening his mouth to say what he had to say, Oliver felt his courage lacking. He knew he had to tell her eventually and a short glance at his watch told him that he had barely time for that. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from playing out time.

“What are you doing here?”

McKenna put her hands to the frame of the door like she needed to hold onto it. She looked over her head towards the balcony in the upper floor. Oliver followed her gaze towards it, realizing that it was the balcony that led to one of the guest rooms, the very same guest room where McKenna had gotten ready for their big day.

When Oliver looked back at her, he found her already looking at him. Over the years, he had seen a lot of different facets of McKenna, but there was something in her eyes he felt he had never seen before. Her eyes were calm, yet there was an almost unsettled glimpse in her eyes.

“I was watching you from upstairs,” she said. “You looked angry and out of yourself.”

At the mention of his anger, Oliver felt it flooding him once more. Like a wave, it brushed through his chest and continued moving inside of him.

“Felicity’s not coming to the wedding.”

In the back of his mind, Oliver already knew that every word he was saying was only making things worse. He couldn’t stop himself from saying those words though. He was still angry about Felicity’s actions.

“I mean she didn’t even call or text me. She just told my dad that she was going to take a job in Metropolis and work there. She is actually at the airport already. She is leaving right now at this very moment. She gave me no chance to say goodbye or anything. We have known each other for like twenty years and have been best friends ever since and she is just leaving.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was unfair to tell McKenna about this, and it was stupid to even be mad about what Felicity was doing because his father was right. They had both done everything wrong. They were both to blame for how complicated everything had gotten.

“I am sorry,” Oliver said, shooting McKenna a brief glance before he turned away and looked at the sky. “I am just- That woman just drives me crazy from time to time.”

Letting the cool breeze tickle his nose, Oliver closed his eyes for a moment. Slowly, the fresh air was clearing his head and washed away his anger. He knew he had to find a way to turn this conversation to say the words that had been unsaid for too long.

Unlike those rumors in high school that had said that he was a heartbreaker and that he enjoyed collecting jars of all those shattered hearts, Oliver actually hated to break hearts. He knew it was happening way too often, but he couldn’t help it sometimes. And he hated it with passion.

This was probably the worst heartbreak he had ever caused someone.

“Then don’t let her go.”

McKenna’s words were so quiet that they were barely audible over the sounds of the wind. Oliver had heard her saying those words though, so he turned around to her with a frown. He didn’t know what he had expected to see. Maybe he had thought that McKenna would look at him with an angry glare because he was prioritizing his friendship with Felicity over their relationship again or maybe she would look at him with tears in her eyes, suspecting that this might be the end.

Instead, she had her head cocked slightly and was looking at him with a soft smile on her lips. There was no anger and just an underlying sadness that was barely there to see for him.

There was no doubt that McKenna knew. She knew as well as he did that his heart belonged to someone else, had been for a long time.

“McKenna, I-“

Before he got to apologize to her or tell her that it had all been his fault or even just decide on which he should say first, McKenna moved. She stepped towards him with quick steps and took his hands in hers. Their fingers laced together, holding each other.

“I am grateful that you wanted to honor our engagement,” she told him and her voice sounded as firm as if she was saying her vows now. “If something changed between us, then it’s better to acknowledge that now. I love you, Oliver, but I know that my love for you won’t be enough to carry us both through life and make us happy.”

Still, McKenna’s eyes were calm. It was almost like she had had a lot of time to think about this and had only made her peace with this. Standing there in her wedding dress, less than twenty minutes before what should have been her big moment, she was smiling as him while she was letting go.

Oliver had no idea how she managed to be stay so calm. He was a mess. Everything in his head was spinning, and his stomach was twisting so badly that the slight pain was the only thing distracting him from feeling so dizzy that he was close to being dizzy.

Watching the calmness in McKenna’s eyes, he let it infect him. He let it fill his chest and the rest of his body. If McKenna could keep her calm, so could he.

“How long have you known?”

McKenna shrugged her shoulders. She avoided his eyes for a moment, looking past his shoulder. For the first time today, he thought that he could see tears in her eyes or at least an expression of utter sadness. When she was looking back at him again, she was all self-composed again though.

“I think I have always suspected something,” she said, narrowing her eyes slightly like that helped her to focus on her memories. “The way you talked about her no matter where and when. Even when you talked about something Felicity did that annoyed you, there was so much softness there. You couldn’t be angry with her, not enough to make that anger really show or for it to last longer after you have said her name.”

Felicity. He had always had a slight obsession with that name. Over the years, a lot of people had tried to find shortenings for her name. They had called her Liz, Lizzie, Izzie or even Fel. He had always insisted that her name was Felicity though. A beautiful name like that shouldn’t be shortened.

Even now, her name still meant so much with it. Whenever someone used the word felicity as an actual word instead of a name, he still couldn’t help thinking about Felicity. He connected that word and her name with home and with a content feeling of happiness.

Now, he could allow himself to admit that to himself.

“When Felicity moved here, it became even more obvious,” McKenna added eventually and Oliver flinched as he had almost forgotten that she was still here. “At first, I was telling myself that you were just the best kind of friends and I told myself that I should relax. There was no doubt that there was more though, but I didn’t want to make a scene or anything. I didn’t want to be that kind of girlfriend, and the truth is that I liked Felicity. Even now, I still like her. So, I tried to avoid thinking about what you two might feel for each other. I pretended that I wouldn’t see.”

There was nothing McKenna could have done to handle this situation better. She had tried to give him room, holding onto her love for him without cornering him. Given all the possibilities she had had to react, she had chosen the most dignified. Even now that she had every right to be mad at him, to cry and claw his eyes out, she wasn’t doing any of it.

“Then after the bachelor’s party, I knew something had changed,” McKenna whispered. “I knew something had happened between the two of you.”

“McKenna-“

“I don’t want to hear it.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head vehemently. She had hissed the words, but there was still the same kind of softness in her voice as there had been before. She wanted to protect herself from hearing any details or any confirmation.

Oliver rolled his lips into his mouth and sucked in a deep breath. He should have known that McKenna had suspected something. She couldn’t have possibly missed something like that. She was a cop after all and a quite good at that actually. Her instincts were too good to miss something like that.

When McKenna looked at him again, her eyes showed that she was ready for him to speak. She had said what she needed to say, and she was giving him the time and room he wanted to say goodbye to her now and say what he needed to say.

Opening his mouth, Oliver realized that he had no idea what he could possibly say. Everything he could say would sound stupid. He didn’t want to insult McKenna by saying something stupid.

“I am so sorry.”

He said the words no matter how stupid and trite they were because they just needed to be said. There were no other words for that.

“What happened between Felicity and-“ Oliver stopped, sucking in a deep breath. “What happened, should have never happened. I am so incredibly sorry for everything.”

Oliver struggled for words. He knew he should say so much more, but he really didn’t know what else to say. Nothing would make this better. The situation was terrible, and there were no words to make it easier or better for either of them.

“You are right,” McKenna agreed, nodding her head. “It shouldn’t have happened, but you cannot make up for it by getting married to me now.”

McKenna was right. Of course McKenna was right. Just like his father had been right when he had said the same thing.

The situation was crappy, but this wedding would only make it worse. Neither of them would find happiness as long they were together, so it had been a stupid idea to go through with the wedding from the very start.

“So, what are we going to do now?”

The question was stupid as they both knew there was just one thing to do now.

“We have to cancel the wedding.”

Oliver nodded and to his surprise he felt relief flooding his veins. He had known that McKenna saw the same solution as he did since it was the only one. Still, hearing her say it out loud was a good feeling. A sadly good feeling.

“Then I will go downstairs and tell our guests that there is no great ceremony to expect.”

He wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing the shocked faces of their guests. Since it was his fault that this was necessary, he felt it was only right that he told everyone though.

McKenna shook her head, surprising Oliver for the umpteenth time today.”

“Leave that to me,” she told him and nodded towards the door. “Go and catch Felicity before she’s gone.”

Unable to stop himself from doing so, Oliver pulled McKenna against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist as tightly as possible and just held her for a long moment. There was a moment of hesitation before she leaned her head against his shoulder and stroked her hands up and down his back.

“If there is one thing I know after today,” Oliver whispered into her ear, “it’s that you deserve so much better. You deserve so much more than me. You deserve someone who loves you with all of your heart and who appreciates everything you can give him. And I know that you will find him one day because you are beautiful, smart, kind and a million other things that make you so lovable.”

McKenna sniffled quietly. Oliver tightened his arms around her for a second in response before he let go of her and let McKenna step out of his arms. Tears were rolling down her cheeks though she was still smiling so softly.

They just looked at each other for a long moment before McKenna nodded towards the door once more. She really wanted to undertake the task of telling everyone the wedding wasn’t cancelling, so he had a chance at catching Felicity before her flight left. That Felicity was part of the reason why their wedding had to be canceled and that Oliver could as well travel after her once things were solved here either didn’t cross McKenna’s mind or she didn’t want him to wait.

“Thank you,” Oliver said honestly. “And I am really so sorry.”

“Better now than after the vows,” McKenna replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “I will tell everyone and go on our honeymoon after that I guess to get a little break. Now go.”

Oliver nodded once more. It felt wrong to just leave McKenna back here alone with the mess he had made. The expression in her eyes told him that she wouldn’t take no for an answer though. So Oliver took in a breath and started running.

Running out of the room and down the stairs, Oliver ripped his bowtie from his neck and let it fall to the floor. Then he unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt. With a glance at his watch, he increased his speed.

He and Felicity had lost so much time already that a little more shouldn’t count. Now that he knew what he felt for her, he couldn’t wait to talk to her about this and figure out if there was any chance that they could make something out of it.

He just hoped he’d make it to the airport in time. 

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @arrowsalways @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @paarti12 @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @cutearrowgirl @mrt2501 @mecha1330 @arsipaci14 @mzminx @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @navyaarsha @fandoms-breathe-life @simone4mcswarek @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @itsmagnoliagirl @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @javinancupil @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @thats0klaroline @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @peterpanslostgirl666 @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @soaring-cities @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @felicity087 @i-claim-only-emily @pattid1 @westallenandolicityshipper @babyolicityandwestallen @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @olicity5ever @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @valery6488 @lemmyeatspeaches @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

[bentenharuki]

I generally don’t do these but...

I will do this because it’s a badge of honor and a thank you for @todayintokyo who gives me a daily vibe out of my second fav Country in the world (first one is my own, of course. My messy, chaotic, genius Italy).

So for everyone interested (I won’t tag people either... if you are among my 250+ readers, do it as freely as you like to share this unexpected hard time along others. Sharing makes us all feel less stranded I guess :)) 

1. Are you staying home from work/school? Yep. My University (Milano Bicocca) holds in-house lessons and curses and also exams and testing are/will be online. What I miss most are the lab works and the exchanges with foreign schools. I took one a few months ago in London and I was supposed to have another in May but... NOPE, of course.

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? I am alone in my apartment. At first it was supposed to be shared rent with somebody else but then my parents just bought this out and lent it to me. I know. I am spoiled. But very grateful for what I have. I always try to give back the best I can because no one has merits in being born in a family instead of another. (pieces of second-rate philosophy in all my LONG answers courtesy of my mum and her influence on me. She’s a University Professor and her field is.. guess what.. ETHICS PHILOSOPHY)

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Nope. Not allowed. But I like cats. Cats. CATS. They are elegant, refined, very clean, and they give you consideration and affection ONLY if they like you. I prefer to conquer somebody’s love instead than to have it by default. Then I am naturally a cat person instead of a dog’s. But I like all animals (I like snakes as well, so my range is pretty wide ;)), even though I don’t feel missing any in  house. Generally I would be out of home most of the day and no pet would be happy in staying that much alone. I miss my grandparents’ kitty tho :)

4. Who do you miss the most? Family. Friends. Meeting new people when out. And... (is it fine to say it?) Well... in these lockdown times I miss... human touch. (You get what kind). I was seeing a guy when this all started and my old boyf also came back into the picture somehow. All on hold. And I avoid to think how that makes me feel because even in case I’d figure it out, what comes if one can’t act on the awareness? Exactly. So I put it all in a LONG pause. But yeah... I miss contacts. A LOT.

5. When was the last time you left your home? I go out every Thursday to buy all my grocery stuff. I am very methodic. My supermarket is pretty near and it’s BIG and I get there right before it opens (well... one hour almost before it opens, so I can be among the firsts in line). I look like a ninja: very sporty and technically dressed (like for a running competition!) with clothes and shoes which are easy washable, tech mask (it is for cycling competition, with filters specifically medical: the mask is washable as well after you’ve used it, while the filter is obviously not), cotton fit gloves and over them medical gloves (I can’t wear directly medical gloves because my skin is very sensitive and I suffer from nickel allergia, which makes latex gloves a NO NO directly on skin), teck googles which cover also the side of my face (those are from cycling items too) and of course PODS in my ear because I can’t live without music :)

6. What was the last thing you bought? I bought online a few garden tools for my biggest balcony. I have ZERO skill with plants (and I am supposed to become a biologist... the nerve! LOL) but I am keen at making grow at least rosemery for my recipes. I have a little peach tree and it is all fine so far. I have hope I can do better and anyway I have time now ;)

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I try to keep my routine as it was before. I wake up and perform all my tasks exactly as I was doing before this all started. I am VERY organized and to lax on that would ruin me, so I carefully focus on what I can control the best I can. It feels strange to say it maybe but... this way my mood isn’t particularly affected by this heavy revolution in my (and everyone elses’s) life.

8. Are you a homebody? NOPE. I love people, I love my Milan and its being always full of people everywhere. I love living in my town a TON, I love meeting friends anywhere, go dancing, I love to live my University life in this beautiful and renewed part of Milan; I like being surrounded by my people and meeting new ones. So being stuck at home would seem insufferable for me. But I learnt from this (there’s always something to learn in any experience) that I can be surprisingly ok with staying home too. I came to know better my neighbors. I feel a sense of community with everyone living nearby and I have come to love my domesticity too. It was a surprise for me first ^.^

9. What movies have you watched recently? In Italy, Italia 1 channel has had the WONDERFUL idea to rebroadcast all Harry Potter saga every Monday and Thursday. Today and tomorrow there are the last two installments, so I can say that is what I looked out the most for as in movie things these past weeks (funny how I never particularly adored the books of HP, I mean, I liked them but... being a Tolkien’s devotee Rowlings’ literary efforts always seemed lackluster to me.. and still I have always liked the movies. It’s incoherent I know ;)). But I have Sky at home so I can watch whatever movie I like to whenever I want to. And that leads to VERY little watch actually. I am reading a ton though. I watch what passes on in the National channels actually, out of digital and cable and decide to watch it or not. For instance last Friday Rai 1 (main Italian Channel) broadcasted one of my fav movies from the past three years, GIFTED (with Chris Evans and Octavia Spencer) and I rewatched it with immense pleasure.

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? OLYMPICS. I was supposed to be back in Japan with a a couple of friends and my bro for experience the Olympics (especially the volleyball tournaments) between July and August and that got (of course) cancelled. We plan to move it all to next year of course. But it hurts SO MUCH because it was easily what I was looking forward to BEST for all 2020. Hands down.

11. What’s the best and worst thing you’ve had to cancel? Look up. For the other question, I never plan things I don’t like (or at least I try my best not to) and I almost never find myself in the position of being happy for something I had going on which I had to pass due to circumstances. I am a very honest (sometimes to the point of bluntness, though with age I got trained in the fine art of diplomacy, which for me is declined especially in the “IGNORE WHAT IS NOT WORTHY degree) person and if there is something I don’t like I tend to not get involved with it in the first place.

12. Do you have any new hobbies? Eh... the longest list... I love so many things. Sport don’t count as hobbies to me because I treat them as part of my daily life constantly. So take them off. I like to write, to draw, to paint... I like reading, I like learning... I am a tech geek; I like gaming (but that I have to cut it or it would absorb me too much)... I like TRAVELING (that is cut off too of course nowadays), and many other things so I guess I don’t literally have SPACE for new hobbies. My many ones makes it impossible to fall for new things though lately I am becoming a better cook out of needs ;)

13. What are you out of? My lists are made as soon my things become “two items in from having 0���. This way I can’t run out of anything. Did I say already I am a HUGE control freak? THAT ;)

14. What music are you listening to? My itunes collections lists so far 12376 ALBUMS. Then I have the random songs. Latest one I bought (because I buy them all) is Achille Lauro’s latest 16 Marzo 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb-9RESbeWA

I am also listening a lot to one of my bro’s fav bands Radiohead and as usual a lot to my beloved Imagine Dragons. My mum and dad are also telling me to listen to Bill Withers (who recently passed away) whole discography because he was amazing. I love many music genres. I love ALL which makes the spirit soar and rage and evolve and love and cry and hope.

15. What are you reading? So far in quarantine I read 5 books. I have now to start ORIGINS by Dan Brown. I pick the books I have left unread randomly and that was the pick this time (people gift me with books constantly because they know I am a bookworm when I have spare time).

16. What are you doing for self-care? Keep loving myself and life and the world exactly the way I used to before this all started.

17. Are you exercising? Yup. Tapis roulant, golf training, stepper (all in my house lucky me) and mat and weight training. I have a routine for which I have to train at least one hour a day. NO EXCEPTION. I miss swimming but I will do. I am also in recovery after January’s knee meniscus intervention so my schedules are also taking that into consideration.

18. How’s your toilet paper supply? I'm OK. :)

19. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? Nope. I love to stylize my hair but I don’t have specific cuts. It grows long and then I play with them hairstyles: braids, buns, ponytails, partitions and the likes.. But I have bleached hair and I had to follow my hairdresser advice because I can’t allow ugly roots to take dominance of me ^.^ So I bought the necessary to self bleach them. No need to say as soon as I will be able to, Hairdressers and Massages and SPA will be my first destination ^.^ (beside visiting family and friends of course).

I am fairly sure I put lots of typos and mistakes in this but I have my online lesson just starting in 8 minutes and I can’t review this (I generally never do it anyway). So forgive me and have a beautiful day ;)

STAY SAFE OUT THERE!!! Hugs K.

[cottagegroveseniorhousing-blog1]

Boston ma Real Estate - Choosing the Right Boston Real Estate Agent

As a successful Birkenstock boston real estate agent, it always puzzled me how and the reason some people choose particular Boston real estate agents to sell their properties. For most of us, a real estate purchase is the single largest investment decision we will ever make in our lives. Still, when it comes time to capitalize on this investment many home sellers will be much too casual and have very low standards for the person individuals choose to handle the sale of their property. I can report many examples of poor decision making when it comes to home-sellers selecting real estate agent, but there is one example from my experience that actually boggled my mind. I received a call originating from a woman about six months ago who asked me to try a Comparable Market Analysis (CMA) of her Celtics Condo. (I gladly obliged and confirmed a time to meet up with with her and to tour her property. ) Typically the CMA process typically entails an initial tour of the topic area property, comprehensive market research to produce a report, and an in-depth, in-person listing presentation. After meeting the client, viewing the house and property, doing the necessary research and presenting my report, My spouse and i was certain that this woman would list her building with me. She disclosed to me that she had interviewed five other Boston realtors and that she was "by far" most impressed with my presentation and others. She cited my track record selling Boston real estate not to mention Boston condos, my knowledge of the Boston real estate market, and also my professionalism as the reasons she viewed me because the most qualified real estate agent to sell her home. She even disclosed to me that my service charge was equivalent to the five other agents she interviewed so "price" wasn't an objection I would have to overcome. After presenting her forty-eight hours to review her options (I keep in mind sent her a thank you card for considering the services), I followed up with a phone call to see should she had any outstanding questions. To my shock she told me that she had decided to list the woman property with a friend, who is also her hairdresser, plus sells real estate part-time in a suburb of Boston. The initial shock came from the fact that she decided to list him / her property with an out-of-town broker, someone who had minimal knowledge of the Boston real estate market. But what really blew me away was her decision to list the property with a friend, who not only had very little 100 % real estate experience, but who works part-time in realty and had never sold a property before! Her precise words were: "She is a very nice person and I'd prefer to help her jumpstart her real estate career. " At that time she had already made her decision and the last item I was going to do was to disqualify her pal as a competent real estate agent, so I wished her the best regarding luck and told her that I would try my far better cooperate with her friend to sell the unit. She thanked me and recognized my professionalism. What I really was going to ask her was this: If I told you you had $150, 000 to invest, (which is approximately what your lover stood to profit from the sale of her home), and your friend, who is also your hairdresser, called you will and told you that she just started reselling stocks part-time and she wanted you to invest your hard earned dollar with her, would you do it? Fortunately, most of the people I have genuinely posed this question to have thought about it and clarified no . Unfortunately, there are too many people who do not think about the real estate investment in these terms and are essentially answering sure! For some unknown reason many people are much too casual in regards time to sell their real estate investment, when if fact, most of the people look to the equity they have in their homes to pay for serious things like major home improvements and educational expenses even while they own their home. It turns out, the woman I used in typically the example above ended up calling me in a panic once her property sat on the market for six months, overpriced through almost 10%. She had to sell the property within 70 days of calling me as she had been lugging two mortgages for four months and was managing out of money. I ended up selling the property three time later for a reduced price because the property had turned into "stale" in the eyes of buyers in the market and the woman had very little bargaining power when it came to fighting price. You must have high expectations when choosing your Boston real estate agent and must truly think of your real estate investment because largest single investment you will ever make in your life. The next is a list of 25 questions that you must ask all of the realty you interview before choosing one to sell your Boston ma home: 1 . Are you a licensed sales person/broker in the talk about of Massachusetts? 2 . Do you have a licensed broker in your clinic? 3. How long have you been selling real estate? 4. Do you only work as a seller's agent? 5. Do you have buyer's providers working in your office? 6. Will you offer compensation to sub-agents, buyer agents, or facilitators, or all? 7. What's my liability if you offer compensation to and encourage sub-agents and he or she misrepresents my property? 8. Would you like to ever allow a buyer or another agent for you to enter my home without you being present? 9. Is selling real estate your full-time job? 10. The quantity of real estate have you sold in my neighborhood in the past year? 11. Can you provide 5 references of people you have sold just for in the last year? 12. How many listings do you currently have within contract? 13. What is the "average days on market" for all of your listings over the past year? 14. What is the regular ratio of asking price to sales price for the last 10 properties you have listed? 15. What differentiates you additionally your company from your competition? 16. How will you arrive at a suitable suggested asking price for my home? 17. How as well as where will you market my property? 18. What is your current service fee? 19. What services are included in the fee? 20. What is the length of your listing contract? 7. Is your contract an exclusive listing contract? 22. Are your own real estate forms in compliance with the laws in Massachusetts? 23. What professional real estate organizations do you and your enterprise belong to? 24. What is the state of the Boston real estate market? Will be this a good time to sell? 25. What properties would When i be directly competing with if I put my place on the market today?

[orangeblossomstudies]

Quarantine tag, tagged by @jungcinema​ my best boo. Thanks :) 

Are you staying home from work/school?

I did starting in March and ending last week. I actually graduated virtually too so that's something. Now I’ m working remotely, though we don’t know how long that will last as I work with the university and they might cut OPS jobs. Here’s to hoping I can keep it!

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? 

I’ve always lived at home throughout college, so its just my sister (also in college) and my moms.

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? 

I have two cats, one adult and one geriatric. I also had a dog who unfortunately died a few weeks ago from old age (she was 20!). I’ve recently gotten a toy poodle named Freddie Mercury to fill that hole in my life though!

4. Who do you miss the most? 

Probably my best friend Paige. We already din’ t get to see each other a lot as she works full time and I have school so now that we don’t even get to hang out at all it’s a real bummer.

5. When was the last time you left your home?

Two days ago? I think. I went on a drive with my puppy so he could start to get use to it and not associate cars with the vet!

6. What was the last thing you bought? 

An original Nintendo DS stylus bc I can’t find mine. They are so hard to get your hands on nowadays (it was 6 bucks!)

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? 

Neither. It’s just regular to me? I don’t know, I’m not more relaxed than usual, but I’m also not going insane. Other than school I never really did anything anyway so this isn’t that different for me.

8. Are you a homebody? 

100% 

9. What movies have you watched recently? 

Haha @jungcinema would know that I am the worst at watching movies. So the answer would be zero >.<

10. An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled? 

Well I applied to grad school and was going to apply to a dream position that would allow me to get the two years of experience in managing archives I would have needed and pay for schooling but now the position isn’t going to be open as the person who had it before is going to hold onto it for as long as possible so the university doesn’t cut it entirely. And now I’m stuck with a minimum wage job and no way of affording grad school so :) not panicking or anything :)

11. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

lol I had no plans because I don’t really do much so nothing really?

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? 

^^^^

13. Do you have any new hobbies? 

I’ve been doing virtual volunteer work with my state archives and the Smithsonian to transcribe materials for digitization so that's fun. Currently working on Freedmen contracts from 1800s Florida plantations. Very interesting.

14. What are you out of? 

Money lmaoooo

15. What music are you listening to? 

IC3PEAK, Big Baby Tape, LIZER, FACE (all Russian artists) but that’s only todays vibe I’ve been listening to EVERYTHING as always 

16. What shows are you watching? 

None~

17. What are you reading? 

I’m currently reading The Stranger by Albert Campus and I also have The Plague by him waiting for me next!

18. What are you doing for self care? 

Reading and sleeping and just trying to keep a semi-normal schedule (still working at 10am and such)

19. Are you exercising? 

I go on walks every so often which sometimes include jogging but recently haven’t had the motivation or the energy as there’s a lot at home to do.

20. How’s your toilet paper supply?

Its good but we have toilet paper that is sooooo thin because the last time we tried to buy that was all there was so it sucks lol

21. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? 

No haha I’m to scared to mess with this beautiful mane. Will leave that to my hairdresser when I see her next (hopefully soon as its down to my butt now)