#the last thing i need is to try to start another hobby but... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brunchable · 3 months ago

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How's retirement, Bucky? | Bucky Barnes x f!reader.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Themes: Funny. Bucky trying to find things to do to kill time, while also being a menace to Y/N and the neighbours. Prequel to 'Ouch, My face.'

Summary: Bucky decides to retire and leave the super hero world behind, but now he doesn't know how to be normal citizen.

A/N: Just another scenario tha rudely popped into my head. . .

Bucky Barnes was retired.

It still felt strange, even after months of settling into a life of quiet mornings and unhurried afternoons. He had fought in wars, spent decades as an agent of chaos, and dedicated years to redemption and healing. Now, here he was—waking up whenever he pleased, making breakfast in a house that didn’t have bullet-proof glass windows or a panic room, and trying to figure out what to do with the rest of his day.

Today, like most others, started off simple enough: a run through the neighbourhood, a cup of coffee, and a lazy scan of the news. He’d even managed to fix the leaky faucet that had been bothering you for weeks, earning a soft kiss on the cheek as a reward.

But then… the day stretched on. There were no missions, no tactical planning, no world to save. Just the quiet ticking of the clock and the gentle hum of suburban life around him.

So, Bucky set his sights on something—or rather, someone—far more interesting: annoying you.

And thus began the saga of Bucky Barnes’ Retirement Phases.

Phase 1: The Handyman Hero Phase

Duration: One Month

Bucky started off strong, becoming the ultimate handyman of the household. Everything was fair game for improvement. Leaky faucets, creaky floorboards, wobbly shelves—if there was a screw to tighten, Bucky was on it like a well-oiled machine.

“Bucky, what are you doing?” you asked one morning, sipping your coffee as you watched him carefully measuring the distance between each picture frame on the living room wall.

“Making sure they’re exactly one inch apart,” he said without looking up, his voice deadly serious.

“Why?”

“Because last night, I noticed this one—” he pointed to a frame on the far left “—was slightly off-center, and it’s been bothering me ever since.”

You blinked. “Bucky, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, Y/N. It’s one and a quarter inch apart. Do you know what happens when things aren’t balanced?” He gave you a haunted look, as if you’d just suggested destabilizing the world order.

“Chaos,” you muttered.

“Exactly.”

Within weeks, Bucky had rebuilt half the house, repainted the walls (twice), and installed a state-of-the-art security system that even Tony Stark would envy. You came home one day to find the couch moved three inches to the left, the coffee table completely gone (“I dismantled it; we don’t need it”), and Bucky seriously contemplating whether the kitchen would look better with marble or granite countertops.

“Bucky,” you said slowly, trying to remain calm, “I’m begging you—stop fixing things.”

He blinked at you. “What do you want me to do then?”

You panicked. “Anything. Just—find a hobby!”

He gave a solemn nod, as if you’d just entrusted him with a new mission. “Okay. A hobby. Got it.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. If only you’d known what was coming next.

Phase 2: The Google Scholar Phase

Duration: Two Weeks

With his newfound free time, Bucky discovered the internet. And when Bucky Barnes discovers the internet, chaos ensues.

It started innocently enough. You’d come home to find him glued to his laptop, his brows furrowed in concentration.

“What are you doing?” you asked, setting down your bag.

“Research,” he said ominously, fingers flying over the keys.

“Research on… what?”

He glanced up, his eyes wide. “Did you know sharks have been around longer than trees?”

“Uh—”

“And that banana slugs can grow up to 9 inches long?” He leaned forward, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “There’s a whole website dedicated to weird animal facts. I’ve been reading for hours.”

And so, you were subjected to two weeks of nonstop trivia.

“Hey, Y/N!” he’d shout from the kitchen. “Did you know an octopus has three hearts?”

Or: “Did you know cows have best friends?”

And: “Do you want to hear about the deepest point in the ocean?”

“Not really—”

“It’s called the Mariana Trench, and it’s seven miles down!”

You tried banning Wikipedia, but he just switched to obscure forums. You blocked YouTube, and he found a random chicken fact blog. The worst part? He’d share his newfound knowledge with anyone who’d listen.

“I’m calling Sam,” you muttered one evening after hearing Bucky recite the entire history of the humble potato to the mailman. “You need social intervention.”

Phase 3: The Home Décor Perfectionist Phase

Duration: Two Exasperating Weeks

Denied access to his newfound internet pursuits, Bucky turned to interior design. You were caught off guard one Saturday morning when he asked, “What do you think of paisley?”

“What’s a paisley?”

“Pattern. I’m thinking of reupholstering the couch.”

“Bucky, no—”

Too late. Within days, every room was a different colour. You came home to find polka-dotted curtains in the bathroom, and he’d somehow managed to install a chandelier in the laundry room.

“Bucky, why is there a 10-foot mirror in the hallway?”

“It makes the space feel bigger.”

“Bucky, this is a two-bedroom house!”

He paused, squinting at the living room wall. “I think the polka dots need to go.”

You nearly wept with relief when he announced he was moving on to the garden.

Phase 4: The Amateur Detective Phase

Duration: One Overly Suspicious Month

After redecorating the entire house, Bucky set his sights on the neighborhood.

“Y/N, did you see that guy across the street?” he whispered one morning, peering through the blinds with a pair of binoculars.

“That’s Mr. Henderson. He’s eighty-five.”

“Yeah, and he’s up to something. No one goes to the mailbox that often.”

“Maybe he likes getting his mail?”

“I’m telling you, something’s not right.” He tapped the binoculars. “I’m gonna get to the bottom of it.”

And so began Operation: Neighborhood Watch. Every delivery truck was scrutinised. Every dog walker received a full background check. The poor Girl Scouts who came to sell cookies left looking slightly shell-shocked.

The Girl Scout Incident: When Bucky Barnes Met Thin Mints

The Girl Scout incident started out innocent enough—just a kid selling cookies to the neighborhood. But when Bucky Barnes answered the door, things took a turn.

It was a sunny Saturday morning. You were in the kitchen, enjoying a rare moment of peace, when you heard the doorbell ring. Before you could even get up to check, Bucky’s voice echoed from the living room.

“I got it!” he called out, already making his way to the front door.

Curious, you peeked around the corner just in time to see him open it. Standing on the porch was a sweet-looking little girl, no more than nine or ten, decked out in her green uniform, clutching a clipboard and flashing a bright, eager smile.

“Hi, mister!” she chirped, clearly undeterred by the stern look on Bucky’s face. “Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies today?”

You watched as Bucky’s expression softened just a bit, his head tilting to the side in confusion.

“Cookies?” he repeated, as if she’d just offered him nuclear launch codes.

“Yep!” She held up a laminated chart with pictures of the various cookies, pointing to each one with a tiny, rainbow-colored pen. “We have Thin Mints, Tagalongs, Samoas—uh, I mean, Caramel deLites—”

He squinted at the chart, clearly trying to make sense of it all. “Why would you need to sell cookies?”

You nearly face-palmed. Oh no.

The girl’s enthusiasm didn’t waver. “It’s a fundraiser! To support our troop activities and trips.”

“Fundraiser?” Bucky’s voice dropped suspiciously. “Who’s your troop leader?”

The girl blinked, a little taken aback. “Uh, Mrs. Patterson?”

“Uh-huh. And how many boxes of these so-called ‘cookies’ are you supposed to sell?”

Her smile wavered just a fraction. “Um, as many as possible?”

Bucky crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. “And where does all this money go?”

“Bucky—” you tried to interrupt, stepping forward, but he held up a hand without looking back, eyes still locked on the bewildered Girl Scout.

“It goes to our troop!” she answered nervously, glancing down at her clipboard as if for reassurance. “For badges and supplies and—”

“Supplies,” Bucky echoed, his tone suddenly sharp. “What kind of supplies?”

“Uh… arts and crafts…?” she stammered, clearly starting to get uncomfortable.

“Arts and crafts?” He leaned in, dropping his voice to a low, conspiratorial whisper. “Or something else?”

You saw the poor girl’s eyes widen, her grip tightening on her clipboard as if she was contemplating using it as a shield.

“Bucky, stop,” you hissed, stepping forward to intervene. But he was on a roll now.

“Who gets the money, huh?” He narrowed his eyes, peering down at her like she was an enemy combatant. “Do you get it?

“Or does it go to some mysterious ‘troop leader’ who’s hiding behind a desk somewhere, raking in profits from innocent cookie sales?”

“M-Mister, it’s just cookies,” she squeaked, glancing nervously at the boxes stacked beside her. “We just wanna go camping this summer.”

“Camping?” he repeated slowly, as if tasting the word. “And what kind of ‘camping’ are we talking about here? Deep-woods recon training? SERE training?”

The girl blinked up at him, clearly having no idea what he was talking about.

“Bucky, she’s nine!” you practically shouted, rushing over to save the poor child from what was rapidly escalating into a full-blown interrogation.

“But Y/N, this could be—”

“It’s not a conspiracy, Bucky!” you snapped, turning to the girl and giving her what you hoped was a reassuring smile. “Sweetie, how much for a box of Thin Mints?”

“Uh… f-five dollars?” she stammered, still eyeing Bucky like he might suddenly sprout fangs.

You reached for your wallet, pulling out a ten-dollar bill and handing it to her. “Keep the change.”

“Thank you, ma’am!” she squeaked, stuffing the money into her pouch with trembling hands.

You shot Bucky a glare. “Apologize.”

He crossed his arms, looking mulish. “But—”

“Bucky.”

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Fine. Uh… sorry… for, um… asking about your troop leader and, uh… the money laundering?”

The girl blinked up at him, clearly not following.

“Bucky!” you hissed, elbowing him sharply.

“I mean, sorry for… for… being weird,” he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

The girl gave a hesitant nod, glancing back at her stack of cookies. “Um… would you like another box, mister?”

Bucky frowned thoughtfully. “Maybe. Which one’s the best?”

“Bucky—” you started, but he was already leaning down, listening intently as the girl launched into a detailed explanation of the flavour profiles of Samoas versus Tagalongs.

Twenty minutes later, Bucky was the proud owner of a dozen boxes of Girl Scout cookies, which the girl somehow managed to upsell him into buying. The look of relief on her face as she walked away was palpable.

You turned to Bucky, hands on your hips. “Really, Buck?”

“What?” he said defensively, clutching his armful of cookies. “I needed to make sure it was legit!”

“Uh-huh. And that’s why we now have enough cookies to feed an army?”

He shrugged, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “I guess I got carried away.”

“Just… try not to scare any more children, okay?”

“Hey, I was just being thorough,” he muttered, glancing down at the boxes. “Besides… these ‘Samoas’ are actually pretty good.”

You shook your head, laughing despite yourself. Because only Bucky Barnes could turn a simple cookie sale into a full-scale interrogation—and then end up buying out the entire stock.

“Whatever you say, Bucky. Whatever you say.”

He gave you a sheepish grin, holding up a box of Thin Mints. “Want one?”

“Sure,” you sighed, reaching out to grab a cookie. Because, at the end of the day, this was Bucky Barnes: ex-assassin, super-soldier, and now… terrifyingly dedicated Girl Scout cookie connoisseur.

The Girl Scout incident, unfortunately, didn’t mark the end of Bucky’s neighbourhood watch endeavours.

“Hey, Y/N, that’s the third day in a row Mrs. Higginson has gone jogging past our house,” Bucky muttered a few days later, scribbling furiously in his notebook.

You glanced over from your spot on the couch, raising an eyebrow. “Uh-huh,” you replied absently, already wondering if now would be a good time to text Steve for a little ‘rescue mission.’ “Maybe she likes jogging?”

“Nah,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s not natural. It’s a cover for something. Probably espionage.”

“Bucky, she’s seventy.”

“Exactly. No one that age moves like that. She’s gotta be a retired agent.”

“Or she’s trying to stay in shape?”

“Or she’s spying on us.” He narrowed his eyes, peering through the blinds. “Maybe she’s HYDRA.”

“Bucky, she brought us homemade banana bread last week.”

“Which tasted suspiciously good,” he muttered darkly, tapping his pen against his chin. “I’m keeping an eye on her.”

It didn’t stop there. He began obsessively tracking patterns—when neighbors took out their trash, when they left for work, who picked up their mail first thing in the morning. His conspiracy board rivaled the one you’d seen at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, complete with photos, string, and a suspiciously large map of the neighborhood.

“Y/N, I need to talk to you.”

You blinked, looking up from your book. “What’s up, Buck?”

He leaned in, his voice low and serious. “Did you know Mrs. Patterson’s dog peed on our lawn three times this week?”

“I—what?”

“And Mr. Thompson left his house twice yesterday. Twice.”

“…is that a crime?”

“Yes. Who leaves the house twice in one day? He’s clearly up to something.”

“Like… groceries?”

Bucky frowned. “No. Something bigger. I saw him walking to his car, get this—without any bags.”

“Maybe he forgot something?”

He shook his head, eyes narrowed. “It’s a diversion tactic. I’m keeping a close watch on him.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re stalking the neighbours.”

“Of course not!” He paused. “I’m… observing. For science.”

“For science?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, Buck. I’m putting my foot down,” you finally managed. “You need to stop this. The neighbours think we’re crazy. You’re scaring the kids and… the mailman won’t come to the door anymore.”

Bucky looked genuinely confused. “Why not?”

“Because you interrogated him about his route last week!”

“He was being shady!”

“He’s a mailman!”

There was a long pause as you stared each other down, Bucky looking defiant and you looking exhausted. Finally, you sighed and ran a hand through your hair.

“Buck… I know retirement is hard. But you need a new outlet. Maybe something a little less—”

“Paranoid?” he offered, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. And a little less terrifying for the neighbours.”

He sighed deeply, like you’d just asked him to hang up his shield all over again. “I was just… trying to be useful.”

Your heart softened immediately. Because that was what it all boiled down to, wasn’t it? The man who’d spent his life fighting wars and doing battle against his own mind was now left trying to figure out how to fit into a world that no longer needed him to save it.

You walked over, placing your hands on his shoulders and giving him a soft smile. “You’re always useful, Buck. Even if you’re not interrogating the mailman about federal postal regulations or… spying on seventy-year-old retirees.”

He snorted, shaking his head. “I might’ve gone a little overboard, huh?”

“A little,” you agreed with a grin. “Maybe you should find something else to watch over.”

“Like what?” he asked, looking genuinely curious.

You bit your lip, thinking. “I don’t know… Maybe get a pet? You could… I don’t know, babysit a cat or something.”

Bucky blinked at you. Then his eyes lit up like you’d just handed him the Holy Grail of retirement activities.

“A cat,” he murmured slowly, as if testing the word. “A cat.”

“Yes, a cat,” you repeated cautiously, wondering if you’d just unleashed some new kind of havoc on the house. “You could train it to… I don’t know, not scratch the furniture or something.”

“Or… I could train it to keep an eye on the pigeons,” he muttered to himself, looking thoughtful.

“Wait, what?”

But Bucky had already gone inside, the gears in his mind clearly turning. You shook your head, deciding to let him have this one. After all, how much trouble could he really get into with a cat?

Phase 5: The Pet Phase (aka Operation: Find a Feline Friend)

Duration: Ongoing, with Fur Everywhere

You didn’t think he’d take it seriously. Until you came home the next day to find Bucky sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, a small, white ball of fluff curled up in his lap.

“This is Alpine,” he announced proudly.

You stared at the kitten, then at Bucky, then back at the kitten. “Bucky, what… why…?”

“You said get a pet,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “So I did.”

And that’s how Alpine, the grumpy old woman in a cat’s body, became part of your household. Bucky spent weeks trying to train him (“Sit, Alpine! Sit! … Okay, fine, just glare at me, that works too.”), set up elaborate obstacle courses (“Alpine, jump! No, don’t walk away—okay, you know what, just do your thing”), and spoiled her rotten with toys and treats.

With each phase, Bucky’s retirement became a new adventure. And while it drove you absolutely crazy at times, you couldn’t help but smile when you saw Bucky lying on the couch, Alpine curled up on his chest, both looking completely content.

“Retirement isn’t so bad, huh?” you teased one evening, curling up beside him.

He hummed thoughtfully, scratching behind Alpine’s ears. “I don’t know… I think I could use a new project.”

You groaned, but your groan turned into a laugh when he grinned at you, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Oh no,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “No more projects, Barnes. You’ve nearly redecorated us out of house and home, scared the mailman half to death, and—”

“Don’t forget the gourmet cookies,” he interjected with a cheeky smile.

You shot him a playful glare. “I’m trying to forget the cookies, thank you.”

“Aw, come on. I think I finally got the recipe down. I’ll just try one more—”

“No!” you practically shouted, your voice echoing through the living room. Alpine, unbothered, merely lifted her head, gave you both a disinterested look, and went back to napping.

Bucky chuckled, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. No more cookies. No more redecorating. No more… scaring the Girl Scouts.”

“Or spying on the neighbors.”

“Or spying on the neighbors,” he agreed, still looking a little too amused for your liking.

You sighed, leaning back into the couch and resting your head on his shoulder. “You know, most people take up hobbies like gardening or painting in retirement.”

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, but those aren’t as exciting.”

“They’re not supposed to be exciting. They’re supposed to be calm. That’s the whole point of retirement, Buck.”

He glanced down at you, his gaze softening. “You really think I’m the ‘calm’ type, doll?”

You snorted. “No, not really. But it would be nice if, just once, I didn’t come home to find you plotting to build a moat around the house.”

“Moats are an excellent defense mechanism,” he said matter-of-factly. “But okay, I get it. I’ll tone it down.”

You gave him a skeptical look. “You promise?”

“Scout’s honor,” he said, holding up his right hand. The glint in his eye, however, told you he was already planning something new.

“Bucky…”

“What?” he asked, all innocence. “You don’t trust me?”

“Not for a second.”

He chuckled, then pressed a gentle kiss to your temple. “Alright, no more projects. I’ll just focus on Alpine. She’s a full-time job anyway.”

You glanced at the cat, who was now sprawled out like she owned the place. “You’ve turned her into a diva, you know.”

“He’s just refined,” Bucky said defensively. “He’s got standards.”

“Uh-huh. Like the way he refuses to eat unless you hand-feed her?”

“Refined,” Bucky insisted.

“And how she sleeps on your side of the bed and shoves you off with her tiny, evil paws?”

“Selective.”

“And how she sits on the counter staring at you like she’s plotting your demise?”

“Observant.”

You shook your head, laughing softly. “You’ve created a monster, Bucky.”

“Eh,” he said with a shrug, smirking down at you. “I’ve handled worse monsters. She’s a good one. Besides,” he added, scratching Alpine’s head fondly, “she’s family.”

Your heart softened at his words, and you smiled up at him. “Yeah, I guess she is.”

There was a comfortable silence as you both sat there, content in the peaceful moment.

Then Bucky cleared his throat, and you glanced up to see him shifting slightly, like he was working up the nerve to say something.

“So… I was thinking…” he began slowly.

“Bucky.”

“No, no, hear me out,” he said quickly, raising his hands as if to ward off your incoming refusal. “What if we… I dunno… made a baby?”

You blinked, certain you hadn’t heard him correctly. “What?”

“A baby,” he repeated, his voice steady, though there was a telltale blush creeping up his neck. “You know, a little human—our human. Someone we can train to take over the world… or at least keep me entertained.”

Your jaw dropped open. “You want to have a baby—because you’re bored?”

Bucky gave you a sheepish grin. “I mean, I was thinking it could be a good project… long-term investment… future troublemaker…”

“Bucky,” you interrupted, placing your hands on his shoulders and staring at him, bewildered. “Are you seriously suggesting having a child like it’s another DIY project?”

He shrugged, looking as nonchalant as ever, but his eyes were soft and serious. “Maybe. But I was also thinking it’d be nice to have something, or someone, that’s just… ours. A mix of you and me. Something that isn’t tied to the past, or fighting, or… all the other stuff.”

You stared at him, trying to wrap your mind around the sudden turn the conversation had taken. “You really want a baby, Bucky?”

He nodded slowly, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Yeah. I do. Don’t get me wrong, Alpine’s great and all, but…” He sighed, his smile turning tender. “I just think it’d be amazing to have something more. I’ve spent so much of my life taking orders or fighting ghosts. But starting a family with you? That’s something I get to build. Something that’s ours.”

You bit your lip, heart swelling at his words. Despite the completely unromantic way he’d suggested it, there was sincerity in his gaze, a yearning for something deeper than fixing leaky faucets or buying out the Girl Scouts’ entire cookie stock.

“And you think you’d be a good dad?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Please,” he scoffed, pulling you closer and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’d be the best damn dad. I’d teach our kid how to throw a proper punch by age five, dismantle a toaster by six—”

You laughed, shaking your head. “So, what you’re saying is… you want to raise a tiny super-soldier?”

His grin widened. “Hell yeah.”

“Bucky, we are not turning our child into a mini-Winter Soldier.”

He pouted dramatically. “Not even a little bit?”

“Not even a little bit,” you affirmed with a chuckle. You leaned in, resting your forehead against his. “But… maybe we could talk about it. You know, actually talk. Not just… plan a tactical baby mission.”

Bucky’s eyes softened as he brushed his thumb along your cheek. “Yeah. We can talk about it.” He paused, then added with a mischievous glint, “After we practice a little more.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “Oh my God, Bucky.”

“What?” he asked innocently, his grin widening. “Practice makes perfect, right?”

You shook your head, letting out a breathy laugh. “You’re incorrigible.”

“And you love me for it,” he murmured, leaning in to capture your lips in a soft, lingering kiss.

“Yeah,” you whispered when he pulled away, your heart fluttering in your chest. “I do.”

You glanced down at Alpine, who was still sprawled across Bucky’s lap, looking utterly uninterested in the conversation. A baby. You hadn’t really thought about it seriously before, but now that Bucky had put the idea in your head… you couldn’t help but wonder.

There was a brief pause as Bucky gazed at you, his expression growing thoughtful. “You know,” he began quietly, “after that whole Girl Scout cookie fiasco… I kinda started thinking… I’d really like to have a daughter.”

You blinked at him, surprised. “A daughter?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice softening. “That kid was just so… brave, you know? Standing there, staring me down even though I was being a total idiot. It reminded me of you—fierce and unafraid. I couldn’t stop thinking… what if we had a daughter like that? Strong, smart, and completely capable of putting me in my place when I get out of line.”

You felt your heart clench at his words, his quiet admission making your chest ache. “You want a little girl because she’d keep you in check?”

“That,” he said, smiling softly, “and I think I’d like the challenge. I’ve spent so much of my life dealing with people who only saw me as a weapon. I just… want to prove that I can be something else. That I can be gentle… and kind… and love someone unconditionally. The way I love you.”

You reached up, cupping his face gently. “Bucky, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

“I know,” he murmured, his gaze warm and intense. “But I still want to try. And I want to be the kind of dad who isn’t just a protector, but a friend. Someone who’d sit through endless tea parties and help her build pillow forts… and buy all the Girl Scout cookies she wants without scaring anyone.”

You laughed softly, tears stinging your eyes at the picture he painted. “You’d be a great dad, Bucky.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice low and hopeful.

“Yeah,” you whispered, smiling up at him.

There was another beat of silence before Bucky leaned in, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered, “So… when do we start?”

You felt your cheeks heat, a mix of laughter and surprise bubbling up in your chest. “Bucky!”

“What?” he asked, his smile as innocent as ever. “I’m just asking. I mean, you know I’m a man of action. Gotta have a timeline.”

“Oh my God,” you muttered, burying your face in your hands as Bucky laughed softly, his arms wrapping around you.

“Okay, okay,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your hair. “No rush. We’ll take it one day at a time, sweetheart. But just know… I’m ready whenever you are.”

And somehow, you knew this next phase—whatever it looked like—was going to be the best one yet.

× × × ×

Ten months later

The soft glow of the nightlight bathed the nursery in a warm, golden hue, casting gentle shadows on the pale blue walls. The room was still, save for the quiet creak of the rocking chair as Bucky swayed back and forth, holding the tiniest bundle of joy in his strong, yet tender arms.

His daughter, barely a week old, was nestled against his chest, her small, delicate breaths in sync with the steady rhythm of his own. Her tiny fist curled around the fabric of his shirt, as if she knew just how safe and loved she was in her daddy's arms.

Bucky hummed quietly, the familiar melody of an old lullaby drifting into the air. It was a song his mother used to sing to him when he was no older than his sweet little girl was now. The words came softly, almost whispered, as if they were sacred—meant only for his daughter.

“Darling, you're my bloodYou have my heartbeatYou have my heartbeat, beating loud,”

His voice was gruff, yet softened by emotion as he sang, the gentle rocking lulling his daughter further into her peaceful slumber. His fingers brushed through her soft, downy hair as he looked down at her with nothing short of awe. How had he, of all people, gotten so lucky?

He had been through so much darkness in his life—seen and done things he would never be able to forget—but here, in this quiet moment, everything seemed to fade away. The world outside could wait. Right now, his whole universe was cradled in his arms, and for the first time in a long time, Bucky Barnes felt at peace.

Unbeknownst to him, you stood at the door, your heart swelling at the sight before you. You had come to check on them both, worried that Bucky might need help with the baby. But when you saw him there, rocking your little girl and singing so sweetly, you couldn’t bring yourself to interrupt.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you leaned against the doorframe, content to watch the love of your life in this vulnerable, beautiful moment.

Bucky was a natural, even if he didn’t believe it. You had seen the worry in his eyes when you first brought your daughter home—the fear that he wouldn’t be good enough, that he wouldn’t know what to do. But here he was, proving himself wrong in the most heart-melting way possible.

The lullaby continued, each note filled with so much love it made your eyes mist over.

"You are my lighthouseA peak of light from the dark cloudsI've lived under my whole life. . .And there's nothing I won't do for you."

Bucky’s voice cracked just a little on the last line, overcome with emotion as he gazed down at his daughter and carefully wiped his tears away.

She had his eyes—bright and full of wonder, even when they were closed in slumber. He couldn’t help but trace the delicate features of her face with his gaze, committing every tiny detail to memory.

Finally, you couldn’t resist any longer. You stepped into the room quietly, not wanting to startle him. Bucky looked up, surprise flickering across his face when he saw you standing there. His expression softened when he realised you had been watching him.

“How long have you been standing there?” he asked, his voice low so as not to wake the baby.

“Long enough,” you replied, your smile widening as you walked over to him.

Bucky blushed, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips. “I’m not exactly a professional.”

“I beg to differ, I think you’re the best dad in the world.” you whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his temple.

Bucky’s heart swelled at your words. He never imagined he would be here—sitting in a nursery, holding his newborn daughter while the love of his life stood beside him, calling him the best dad in the world. It still felt like a dream.

“She’s so small,” he murmured, looking back down at the baby. “So fragile. I didn’t think…I didn’t think I could love someone I barely knew this much.”

Your hand gently rested on his shoulder as you gazed down at your daughter. “You’ve got a big heart, James. I always knew you’d be amazing as a father.”

He glanced up at you, eyes soft and full of affection. “You’re the amazing one.”

You reached out to gently stroke the baby’s cheek, and Bucky leaned into your touch, feeling more complete than he ever thought possible.

“I never thought I’d have this,” he admitted after a long silence, his voice barely above a whisper. “A family. A reason to feel…whole again.”

You knelt down beside him, resting your head against his shoulder. “You deserve it, Bucky. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”

Bucky kissed the top of youe head, holding you close as he continued to rock your daughter. The world outside could be chaotic and unforgiving, but in this room, in this moment, everything was perfect.

× × × ×

Baby at six months

The house was peaceful, the late afternoon sun casting a warm glow through the windows. You were out running errands, leaving Bucky home with their now six-month-old daughter, who was currently kicking her chubby little legs and babbling on her playmat. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she reached for her favorite stuffed bear, the one Bucky had given her the day she was born.

Bucky sat beside her, legs crossed, watching her every move like she was the most fascinating thing on the planet. He leaned down, his voice dropping to a playful whisper.

“You know, blossom,” he began, glancing over his shoulder dramatically as if checking to make sure Y/N wasn’t around. “Your mom thinks she’s the boss.”

Their daughter let out a high-pitched squeal, and Bucky grinned.

“Right? Can you believe it?” he continued, keeping his voice low as if sharing the biggest secret in the world. “She thinks she’s in charge around here. But between you and me, we know the truth.”

His little girl giggled again, her tiny hands grasping at the air as if she was agreeing with him.

“See, you and I?” Bucky said, tapping his finger gently on her nose, “We’re a team. We know how to get things done. I mean, just look at us—surviving nap time, figuring out how to stack those weird little ring toys, and we don’t even need to look at the instructions. Meanwhile, your mom still thinks I can’t fold laundry properly.”

He paused for dramatic effect, raising his brows. “Can you believe that? Laundry. I fought in World War II, and she’s worried I’ll mess up the towels.”

His daughter let out a delighted shriek, her little legs kicking excitedly. Bucky reached over and tickled her belly gently, making her burst into even more giggles.

“Oh, yeah, I know you think it’s funny,” Bucky chuckled. “But trust me, your mom’s got some pretty high laundry standards. I tried to fold one towel, just one, and she came over with this look like I’d committed a crime. 'Bucky, that’s not how you fold them!' she said. And I’m standing there like, ‘It’s a towel, not a top-secret mission.’”

He leaned in closer, as if telling her something top-secret. “She doesn’t know this, but I might’ve folded them wrong on purpose so I wouldn’t have to do it anymore.”

His daughter cooed, her tiny hand reaching out to grab his finger, which she promptly brought to her mouth to chew on. Bucky let her, his heart melting at the sight. She was his little sidekick, always hanging on his every word, even if she didn’t fully understand yet.

“And don’t even get me started on the bedtime routine,” Bucky continued, shaking his head in mock exasperation. “Your mom’s got this whole plan—bath, story, lights out. Meanwhile, you and me? We’ve got a better plan. We chill, we rock, maybe sing a little. You get all cozy, and bam—out like a light.”

“Bababababa,” His daughter babbled something back at him, her little voice full of enthusiasm, and Bucky nodded seriously.

“Exactly. That’s what I’ve been saying. We’ve got this figured out.”

He scooped her up from the mat and held her close, her head resting comfortably against his chest as he walked them over to the couch. He sat down, cradling her in his arms, and continued his lighthearted rant.

“And the thing is, she’s always right, which drives me crazy. Like, the other day, she told me you were gonna try to crawl soon. I thought, ‘Nah, she’s too young.’ But then what happens? Two days later, you’re scooting around like you’ve got places to be. I swear, your mom’s a psychic or something.”

Bucky gazed down at his daughter, who was now looking up at him with those wide blue eyes that never failed to melt his heart. She let out a happy gurgle, and Bucky chuckled softly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“You know I’m just kidding, right? Your mom’s the best. She takes care of both of us.” He sighed, feeling a rush of affection as he thought about Y/N. “Don’t tell her, but I’m pretty lucky to have her. She keeps me in line.”

Just then, the sound of the front door opening echoed through the house, and Bucky’s head shot up in mock panic.

“Uh-oh,” he whispered to his daughter, his eyes wide with exaggerated worry. “The boss is back. Don’t say anything.”

You appeared in the doorway, raising an eyebrow as you saw Bucky and the baby cozied up on the couch. “What are you two up to?” you asked, a knowing smile on your lips.

Bucky gave you his most innocent look, bouncing your daughter gently in his arms. “Oh, nothing. Just hanging out with my best girl here. Right, darling?”

The baby let out a little squeal, clearly delighted by the attention.

“Mmhmm,” You said, stepping closer and giving Bucky a playful look. “You haven’t been filling her head with nonsense, have you?”

“Me? Never,” Bucky replied, trying to keep a straight face. “We were just talking about how great you are. Isn’t that right, kiddo?”

Bianca, oblivious to the conversation, giggled and reached for you, and took her from Bucky’s arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Well, if she grows up thinking she’s in charge, I’ll know who to blame,” You teased, casting a glance at Bucky.

He grinned, leaning back on the couch. “Hey, she’s gotta learn from the best.”

You smiled, shaking your head in mock defeat. “You’re lucky she likes you so much.”

Bucky stood and wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder as you both looked down at your little girl, now happily nestled between you. “I’m lucky to have both of you,” he murmured softly, kissing the side of your head.

And in that moment, with his two favorite girls in his arms, Bucky couldn’t imagine a better kind of luck.

1K notes · View notes

katsu28 · 8 months ago

Text

home is wherever you are

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

summary: secretly falling in love with your best friend is tough. secretly falling in love with your best friend who also happens to be your roommate is even less than ideal. the solution? move out! (hint: it isn’t a very good one.) (5k)

warnings: angst with a happy ending, a smidge of google translated french lol

a/n: CHARLES LECLERC!!! CHARLES LECLERC!!!!LECLERC!!! LECLERAUGHCOUGHCOUGH

“I still cannot believe you’re abandoning me.”

Charles shoved another box of your things into the boot of your car rather huffily, as if to reiterate just how unhappy he was.

“I’m not abandoning you, I’m moving out of your apartment.” You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully at him. You passed him the last box off the ground, wiping your hands off on your shorts before propping them on your hips.

“That is quite literally the same thing.” He mirrored your stance in total seriousness, frown unwavering. “And it’s not my apartment, it’s yours now too. Your home.”

You’d been living with Charles for a while now, having been suddenly evicted from your own place three, almost four years ago. With nowhere else to go, you’d turned to your best friend, and Charles had welcomed you with open arms, giving you a home when you’d needed it most.

There were many good things about living with Charles—he liked to cook (which boded well with you, seeing as you were no master chef yourself. Except for when he’d gone through a questionable phase of combining cuisines that did not go well together.), he was respectful of set boundaries and agreed upon rules. You had the same taste in shows and movies, which made for little fighting when it came to deciding on what to watch.

But most notably, he loved to play the piano. It was a hobby he’d picked up during long days spent staying at home, and he was good at it too. An electronic keyboard when he’d first started out, just to see if it was something he was serious about, but as he zoomed through the basics with ease, he’d splurged on a gorgeous white piano that stood proudly in the living room.

Soon enough, it wasn’t unusual for the apartment to be full of music, beautiful songs of Charles’ own composing.

He played whenever he had the feeling. Whenever he had something on his mind, whenever he was bored, anything, he’d spend hours at the piano, playing, playing, playing. Some might’ve called it annoying, but not you. You found it rather soothing.

It had very quickly become a habit of yours to fall asleep listening to Charles play. Something about it seemed to always relax you just enough to the point where you could pretty much fall asleep anywhere if he was at the bench.

Your favorite spot was on the sofa with a big blanket, watching him get lost in the notes until you drifted off. More often than not, you could rarely get a good night’s sleep without Charles’ accompaniment—your very own version of white noise.

But truth be told, this past year of living together with Charles had been trickier than the first couple. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment things began to change, but something had definitely shifted between you.

You’d been trying to write it off just the two of you being very close, but you’d been dancing on the line of close friends and more than friends for a long time. Falling asleep together cuddled on the sofa, lingering touches whilst you were in the same room and in passing, hugs that lasted a little too long to be considered normal.

The more your feelings for Charles grew, the more worried you became. Worried about what, you weren’t exactly sure. All you knew was you didn’t want to lose the longest and best friendship you’d ever had because you went and fell in love.

“I know. But I think it’s well past time I get out of your hair and try being on my own for once.” You said softly, stepping in to fold yourself into Charles’ arms.

Most of that was true. You did feel like you needed to live by yourself for a chance, to see what it was like to be fully independent in your adult life. You’d moved in with Charles when you were twenty two, and you were twenty five now. It was time for you to venture out on your own.

But the uncertainty of falling in love with your best friend was definitely also a contributing factor.

He made a displeased sound at your words, but tucked you under his chin nonetheless. “I don’t want you to get out of my hair. My hair likes it with you here.”

“I live fifteen minutes away, Cha. I’m not moving across the country. You and your hair can come over anytime.” You scoffed, giving him a gentle poke in the ribs. “And I’ll come over here all the time too, you know that.”

“Fine, fine. I don’t know what I am supposed to do with your empty room now, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe I will take up scrapbooking. Knitting. Needlepoint, maybe. Turn it into a craft room.”

“Maybe you can turn it into a music room. Move the keyboard in there, your piano.”

“Ah, bien entendu, my piano. How will you ever fall asleep without my sweet, sweet melodies?”

“I think I will manage just fine.” You chuckled.

Charles held you at arms’ length, dark brows furrowing as he scowled. “What I’m hearing is you don’t love me anymore.”

Oh, if only he knew.

You smiled instead, patting his cheek good-naturedly. “Come on, you drama queen. I want to move in before the sun goes down.”

Charles went full protection mode the second all your belongings had made it safely inside the apartment, intently checking every lock, window, door hinge, cabinet—not an inch of the apartment went uninspected by him. When he seemed fairly satisfied with his safety checks, he returned to where you were unpacking kitchen items over by the oven.

“Everything up to your standards?” You asked, pulling out a stack of plates wrapped in brown paper. Charles shuffled over, easing them out of your hands and unwrapping them to help put them up in the cabinet. “No one is going to break in through my window tonight?”

“Don’t even joke about that.” He grumbled, chucking the balled up paper at you gently. “Everything I checked is fine. You will be safe here.”

Food was simple when it came time for dinner—takeout on the floor of your living room, because you hadn’t had the time to go shopping for a coffee table yet. Or a dining room table. Or even chairs, really. All you had were some pillows and an overturned cardboard box to put the food on.

Charles had insisted on helping you furnish the whole place before you moved in but you’d declined, saying that you wanted to get a feel for the place before filling it with everything. The last time it would be this empty would be the day you moved out.

He seemed a little quiet the rest of the night, but you didn’t press it until after dinner, whilst he was helping you with the washing up. Well, helping was a strong word.

“You’ve been drying that plate for ages now.” You observed, tilting your head at him thoughtfully. Charles inhaled sharply, shaking his head like he’d been snapped out of a stupor. He glanced down at the completely dry plate, then back up at you blankly. “What’re you thinking about?”

“You’re really going to be gone.”

“You say that like I told you I’ve only got days to live. I won’t be gone, Cha. I’ll be around.” You chuckled, flicking dish soap bubbles in his direction. Charles responded by flinging his towel at you, cracking a smile. You liked it when he smiled, hated it when he frowned. He was still unfairly attractive, but it wasn’t Charles’ scowl that made you fall in love with him.

“We can spend the day together anytime, you can come over whenever you want, and if it makes you feel any better, I will give you your very own key.”

That seemed to put him a little more in higher spirits.

“What will you ever do without me?” He wondered out loud, feigning a thoughtful expression.

“Probably clean up a lot less. Be able to take a shower without running out of hot water halfway through. Oh! Have a bottle of shampoo last more than a month because someone—not naming names, of course, won’t use it because they’ve run out of theirs. Not have to fight for—”

“Alright, alright, I get it!” Charles huffed, grabbing you by the shoulders and promptly shoving your face into his chest to stop you from talking.

You grinned against the softness of his hoodie. “Shall I go on?”

“No, no you shouldn’t.” His hold on you loosened, but you stayed right where you were, wrapping your arms around his torso. “Just admit it. You’ll miss me.”

“I will miss you.” You said softly, pressing your cheek into the crook of his neck. If there was something Charles was unbelievably good at (besides literally anything he’d ever tried), it was giving the best hugs. Something about them made you feel safe, like nothing and nobody could ever hurt you as long as you were in his arms.

“You already know how much I’m going to miss having you around.”

“Yeah, I am pretty great.”

A laugh rumbled through his chest. “You are.”

“You’ve been the best roommate I could’ve asked for. Thank you for everything.” Your words were muffled between the two of you, and you were glad for it, because he didn’t seem to notice the waver in your tone. But he did squeeze you a little tighter, so maybe he did hear you. “I love you, Cha.”

Charles’ voice seemed to waver just a bit too. “I love you too.”

“Okay, okay, you really need to leave. Go before I change my mind and make you stay.” You blurted, pushing him away playfully. It was better than letting him see you get emotional.

“Is that a promise?”

“No, it’s a threat. Go home. I will see you soon.” You gave his hand one last squeeze, nodding reassuringly to rid him of the crease between his brows. “Don’t worry about me. Go, get some rest.”

It was only then that he seemed satisfied enough to leave, but even then, he cast another backwards glance towards you on his way down the hall, as if he was waiting for you to beckon him back. You just smiled as best you could.

You’d get over it. You had to. There was still a lot you needed to get done before you called it a night.

It wasn’t until you were getting ready to go to bed that you started to feel lonely. You and Charles had your respective bedtime routines, but they always intertwined.

You never liked being the one to turn off all the lights in the apartment because the switch was at the end of the hallway opposite from your bedrooms, so he knew to do it because you hated running back through the darkness after flipping the switch.

He always filled a glass with water for late night sipping, but never remembered to actually bring it to his room until he was already in bed, so you always grabbed it for him so he wouldn’t have to make the trek back out the kitchen.

The bathroom counter was where you’d find each other the most, terrible jokes and funny stories told muffled through toothpaste bubbles, even though you could’ve just waited until you were finished to tell each other. You’d flick water at him as you washed your face because he took up too much space at the sink, he’d turn off the tap in retaliation, things like that.

Sometimes Charles would stay up later playing video games with his friends, or take some extra time to practice piano, so you wouldn’t get to do your well oiled machine routine, but he’d always take the extra second to pop into your room to say goodnight when he heard you bustling around, even if he was in the middle of something.

The times you fell asleep on the sofa to Charles’ playing the piano, he’d camp out at the other end of the sofa for the night, or at the very least made sure you were covered with a blanket if he went to sleep in his own room.

It was something you’d grown accustomed to over the years, oftentimes the well-needed end to a not so great day. Charles never failed to put a smile on your face, even with something as small and mundane as a bedtime routine.

But there was none of that as you ran through your routine this time.

You didn’t hear him shuffling around over in the other room, the muffled sounds of his shouts as he played his games, and most of all, you didn’t hear him and his piano.

Because there was no Charles. Of course there wasn’t. You were in this new place that you hadn’t had quite nearly enough of a chance to get used to yet, alone, and it was finally settling in.

Suddenly moving out and away from him seemed like the worst decision in the world.

You knew it was only the first night. You had to give yourself a chance to reacclimate, and that would take time. So you inhaled a deep breath, trying to get as comfy as you could for a long, probably sleepless night ahead.

It was nearing four in the morning when you finally decided to give up and call Charles. Part of you thought he might not even pick up the phone, because he was probably asleep. Any sane person would be sleeping right now.

Much to your surprise, he answered on the second ring.

“Why are you awake?” You asked, maybe a bit harshly.

“Um, you are the one who called me? Why are you awake?” He replied, groggy voice still teasing. His accent always grew thicker when he was sleepy. You thought it was adorable. “You cannot sleep, can you?”

“...No.” Your voice grew smaller. You felt embarrassed at the fact that you couldn’t even make it one full night without Charles around. “I just…I wanted to hear your voice, I guess. I miss you already, Cha.”

Charles fell silent for a few moments, the only sound on his side of the line being his gentle exhales. “I miss you too. Do you want me to come over? I can stay the night, if you want.”

“No. No, you don’t need to do that.” You said softly. “Can you just talk to me?”

This was also something that had become somewhat of a ritual when either of you couldn’t sleep.

You’d tiptoe into each other’s rooms quiet as a mouse, slipping into bed beside the other. Charles always stirred when he felt the bed dip under your weight, half asleep but still reaching out to pull you against his chest like it was second nature. On the occasions when he came into your room, you’d feel him tuck himself close to you, nosing against any part of you he could find with a content sigh.

There was no rhyme or reason to the things you’d talk about in those moments, but eventually, somehow, you’d both end up asleep, usually fairly quickly. Maybe it was the extra added comfort of each other that helped, you could never tell.

It wasn’t unusual to wake up a jumble of limbs tangled together, and neither of you ever addressed it either. Just went on with your business as usual, never talking about it because it was just something you did. To help each other sleep, of course.

Another thing that really blurred the line between friends and more.

Charles hummed a noncommittal sound, soft and fond like he always was around you. “I’ll do you one better. How about I play some music for you?”

“Yes, please. Thank you.” You sighed, relieved. He knew what you needed without you even having to ask.

You heard him get up, footsteps padding along until there was a thud and some shuffling coming from Charles’ side. A few warm up scales in and you were already feeling a little less anxious, letting yourself get comfortable.

“Any requests from the audience?”

“Been working on anything new?” You yawned, nuzzling a little deeper back into your pillow.

“I have, actually. It’s still—fuck, how do you say it…a work in progress?”

“Anything you play is perfect.”

“You flatter me.” He snorted. “Alright, here goes nothing.”

He began to play. You knew jack shit about music, so there wasn’t much you could think of to describe how it sounded, but you could describe how it felt. You could almost feel the emotion pouring from his playing, even through the scratchy quality of the speaker.

It felt like something you’d hear in the background of a movie montage, lilting and delicate and warm notes swirling together to create a bright melody, and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander.

Memories of good times with Charles flashed through your head—all the long days and even longer nights you’d spent together because you thrived in each other’s company, cooking together, binging Netflix shows until you both passed out on the sofa.

Hushed laughing during dinners at fancy restaurants that Charles could get into by flashing his name, soft conversations accompanied with expensive food and even more expensive wine.

Day trips up the coast with the top down on the car, pushing the speed limit just to feel an ounce of the freedom that it could give you. Walking through Monte Carlo on late night gelato runs, switching flavors because you both enjoyed each other’s choice more than your own.

Most of all, you thought of the love you felt for Charles, ever since you’d first met him. You’d never been one to believe in the concept of soulmates, but fuck, it was so easy to think of him as yours. Never had you felt as much for someone as you did for him.

God, why were you even thinking of those things?

It would never happen. Any love that Charles had for you would be strictly platonic, limited to however much one could love their best friend.

Surely he’d drawn inspiration from something else when he’d composed the beautiful piece. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know.

Soon enough, you’d drifted off like you always did when Charles played, coincidentally right before he came to a lingering stop.

Had you been awake, you would’ve heard him say that the beautiful piece had been inspired by you. Instead you were fast asleep, still none the wiser to anything. Maybe it was a good thing. You might not have believed it if you’d heard him.

-------

Charles was on your doorstep first thing in the morning, coffee and pastries in hand when you opened the door for him.

“Hello, good morning, your savior is here. And with breakfast!” He chirped, coming to just enough of a halt for you to slide an arm around his shoulders in a hug and grab one of the drinks out of the tray before he swept past you.

Bright morning sunlight poured into the open area, washing the whole place aglow. A warm breeze floated in through the ajar window, rattling the shutters only slightly, and you could hear the all too familiar sounds of the city in the morning coming from the streets below. It was a gorgeous picture of peace; one of the apartment’s many fun quirks that convinced you to go for it in the first place.

The only thing that might’ve rivaled the beauty of the moment was Charles standing at the window, leaning against the sill drinking his coffee while the breeze ruffled his hair. His back was to you as he checked out the view, but even the mere image of him here was nice.

You sipped your own coffee, smiling to yourself when you realized Charles remembered exactly how you took it. You didn’t even need to look inside the bag to know they were your favorite pastries from the bakery down the street from your former apartment that both you and Charles loved. He was always thoughtful like that. Things like remembering your favorite foods and drinks, and going out of his way to get them as a little pick-me-up.

It seemed wrong to ruin the moment, but you felt like you had to say something.

“I’m sorry for waking you up last night.” You sighed, taking a cross-legged seat on a pillow.

Charles turned away from the window, shaking his head quickly. He took a seat on the floor next to you, long legs stretching out towards your crossed ones to nudge a sneaker against your socked foot. “There’s nothing to be sorry about, I’m glad you called me.”

“Right, but it’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it? First time on my own and I didn’t even last a whole night.”

“Not pathetic.” He insisted, entirely firm in his words. He set his cup down as if it could strengthen his point. “It is a change, definitely. You can’t expect yourself to get used to such a big change immediately. It takes time, you know.”

You messed with the lid of your cup, picking at the plastic with a scowl. “I know. But I can’t always come running to you whenever I need help. It’s not fair to you to have to keep rescuing me every time I need saving.”

“Okay…” He trailed off, stretching out the last syllable in confusion. “I feel this is about something more than just last night. We can talk about it, if you would like?”

“I don’t know what it is.” You huffed. “I thought I was ready to be on my own, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I don’t know I’m doing and I’ll never figure it out, and—”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. Where is this all coming from?”

“I don’t know,” You repeated, bordering on a whine. “But what I do know is that I can’t always keep relying on you for everything. It’s not good for me, or for you.”

“You know, you could always just move back home if you’re truly not ready to do things on your own.” Charles offered, taking a casual sip of his own drink.

Home. He said it so casually, like home was with him instead of this new place you’d chosen to make yours. In a way, Charles was your home. Safety, comfort, love—all the things that made something home, you felt with him.

That was the problem. You didn’t feel right relying on him for all those things, not without him being aware of how you actually felt about him. It seemed like too much of a burden to put on a friend, even one as perfect as Charles.

His eyes met yours over the rim and he shrugged. “I still don’t know why you were so insistent on moving out in the first place.”

You sighed, again. There weren’t many ways you could make yourself any clearer. Other than telling Charles one of the real reasons why you had to leave, which again, was more of a last resort (hopefully not at all) type of thing. “It was time—”

“It was time for you to venture out on your own, yes, I know. But it doesn’t seem to be working out so well right now, does it not?” The last sentence seemed to slip out of Charles’ mouth before he knew what he was saying, because his mouth snapped shut right afterward. “I’m—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I don’t want to argue.”

But what had been done was done, what had been said was out there for you to know. Your coffee suddenly left a bitter taste in your mouth, and the traffic from outside became glaringly loud. The once peaceful atmosphere had been shattered now that you knew Charles’ true thoughts on it all.

You stood up, letting your feet take you across the room from him. “No. Tell me more, Charles. Tell me how you really feel.”

His nose wrinkled at the use of his full name. You never called him Charles unless you were upset with him, which wasn’t that often. Even hearing it come out of your own mouth seemed foreign.

That seemed to change his reaction, because he stood too instead, doubling down on his words. “Okay. Yes, that is how I feel about you leaving. You barely even talked to me about it, and the next thing I knew, you were packing all your things into boxes! I didn’t understand where this—this sudden desire to leave came from. I still don’t.”

“You don’t have to understand it. It’s already done.”

“Did I—did I do something wrong?”

You almost faltered. Almost.

“Did you ever think maybe me wanting to leave had nothing to do with you?”

“Honestly? No. It feels like it has everything to do with me. It feels like you moved out because you didn’t want to be around me anymore!” Charles exclaimed. “And I have kept my mouth shut, I’ve been trying to be supportive of your decision, but I think I have a right to know. Am I why you wanted to leave so badly?”

“That’s…part of it.” You admitted. Charles froze, brows flying up towards his hairline. “But not because of anything you did. Not because of the reason you’re thinking of.”

“I don’t really see any other explanation. And I am sorry, but that is a shit excuse. I would’ve thought that you of all people would tell me the truth.” He didn’t sound angry, just disappointed and a little hurt. Somehow that felt worse. You’d rather him be mad at you than hurt by you.

“I didn’t want to move out.” You said firmly.

“Then why did you?”

“I had to! I—I couldn’t live there anymore.”

“But why?” He sounded desperate, begging for you to clue him in to any reason, anything at all that would help him understand. And god, as scared as you were of changing things by telling Charles how you really felt about him, you were infinitely more scared of losing him for good if you didn’t.

“Because I’m fucking in love with you, Charles!” You blurted, finally. “I couldn’t live with you any longer, keeping this huge secret all the time, because it truly made me feel like I was about to explode. I just couldn’t do it anymore—pretend like everything was alright when every time I looked at you, all I could think about was how I felt about you! How much I felt for you.” Your voice rose with every word, emotion lacing your tone.

You could feel the tears burning your eyes, threatening to fall no matter how much you willed them not to. “I just thought, maybe if we lived apart, if we didn’t see each other all the time, maybe those feelings would go away.”

Charles blinked at you slowly. He scrubbed a hand over his cheek, across his mouth, letting it disappear into the neckline of his hoodie as he continued the motion near his jaw. Still, he said nothing. You weren’t sure if it was a good sign or a bad one, but still you continued.

“So no, it wasn’t because of anything you did. Or maybe it was, for making it so fucking easy to fall in love with you. I don’t know. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t say anything to me, but I’m not sorry for making the decision on my own. It was for the best.”

There it was, out there in the open at last. It felt like a proverbial weight lifted off your shoulders, but at the same time like a thousand rocks sinking to the bottom of your stomach, because he wasn’t saying anything. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was how you’d fuck up the best friendship you’d ever had.

Charles was silent for the longest time before he replied, and when he did, his voice was quieter than you’d ever heard it before. It felt unnerving. “You could’ve just told me.”

“Told you?” You had to fight the urge to let out a bitter, watery laugh. “Telling your best friend you’ve fallen in love with him isn’t just something you mention at the bathroom sink one night.”

“It is, if he feels the same way about you.”

A coldness crept down your neck, shooting through your veins like you’d just had a bucket of ice cold water dumped over your head.

“No you’re not—you don't...you can't.” You whispered, disbelieving.

Charles’ brows furrowed in confusion. “What, do you want me to prove it?”

You couldn’t give him an answer even if you wanted to. You weren’t sure if you could trust yourself to say a damn word, just in case this was all a dream and you'd wake up any second, still alone, still without him there.

He must’ve taken your silence as a yes to his question, because he crossed the room in three strides, took your face in firm hands, and he kissed you.

Despite your utter shock, you managed to kiss him back clumsily, fingers curling into his hoodie tightly. Charles kissed you like he was afraid to let you go, like you’d slip through his fingers if he wasn’t careful enough.

A guiding hand curled around the back of your neck, angling your head so he could deepen the kiss, but only for a few seconds before he broke away, panting. His forehead stayed pressed against yours, soulful green eyes boring into your own in total seriousness.

“Do you believe me now?”

“Maybe.” You breathed, letting your nose bump against his gently. This was not a dream. Charles was real and here and one hell of a kisser (just as you suspected).

“I am in love with you.” He murmured, stroking his thumb over your cheek fondly. “I have been for a long time. And I never thought you would feel the same way.”

“I love you, Cha.” You were suddenly brought back to last night, when you’d uttered the same words to him. Only this time, they had a whole different meaning to them.

This time, you knew Charles loved you in the same way you loved him.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc x fem!reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc x you #cl16 #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc one shot #truly this was only supposed to be like 2k words #this man invokes many emotions in me what can i say #if u made it this far into my tags hi hello i hope u enjoyed and thank u for reading! i appreciate u <3

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thatbitchery · 26 days ago

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The way to stand on business is to have hard rock values and hobbies. A lot of you suffer because you're pathetic little chameleons that learned to survive their childhood by blending in and masking (I'm looking STRAIGHT at the autistics and daughters of strict dads right now. 100% straight shots being taken) and have nothing to stand on PLUS you just- don't have a life. Of course you tolerate bs you have nothing to do all day. Some of us have jobs and horses to ride and paintings to make where will I get the time to be taking BS hun I have work to do? Bark at the void or something. You have all the time in the world so you are accessible enough for people to know they can simply just- cancel plans and your spineless wet tissue ass back will give in. If you are always available why would anyone prioritize you? Get a job and hobby so you also cancel plans and make them earn you like a woman with a working mind. Get busy.

Back to the main point- you can't stand on business because yu are nothing and have nothing to stand on. I'm not trying to degrade you- mind you- its just I kinda have no choice but to look down on you when you are on the floor. What am I even on rn?

Well. The first sign someone grew up middle class is lack of a spine and intense masking. The one thing the lower class and upper class have in common is the inability to give a fack. Lower class because they have nothing to lose & upper class because they are, in fact, better than you. In a capitalist society money is a marker of status = position don't even attempt moral police me. Elon Musk can say whatever bc wtf will you do? Tweet about it? The homeless will say whatever they want, too, because what will you do? Cancel him and make him lose the job he doesn't even have? What is the worst you can do and what makes you think he won't survive it. It's the middle class that's the breeding ground for snakes because they have a shit ton to lose and do not have enough resources to avoid the consequences of it. All the doormats and snakes and chameleons and wet tissues and untrustables are in the taxpaying bracket.

The first sign someone is elite is their level of idgafness. Not fur. Not that black American express. Not Patek Phillipe. IDGAFness. The princess and the pea absolute queen princess downright refusing to sleep on a bed with a pea is elitism. On tiktok they call it black cat energy. My way or no way. The way men know what to do with you isn't how much Chanel you're dripping in is how much you will not only not take bs but how willing you are to start sheet if you need to. Conflict avoidance is middle class behavior. I know this drop dead gorgeous reeeech man that's pining for the most average a little overweight by western standards (which are world's beauty standard, don't gaslight yourself) probably a solid 3 on a good day because the left him mid date after he said something she didn't like, blocked him on all platforms and went on another date with some other guy a week later. I have seen the women that chase after him but she's the prize. Doesn't give one single F. Last I heard he booked a helicopter and she just- didn't go. Tried the guilt tripping got blocked. Tried the talking sheet and she just- moved on and made him look like an idiot. When I say the man is piniiiiiiiiiiiing like there aren't magazine cover models that would throw it back in every angle. She is the elite one here because she just doesn't care. She stands on business. Queen behavior. 10/10, I'm also very in love with her and have officially joined the competition.

You can't be elite not because you're broke and ugly but because you can't stand on business because you don't have business to stand on. A lot of you just- aren't anyone so you become everyone. Chameleon behavior. Because you are afraid of conflict. A cat scratching you knowing full well you are what feeds it is elitism. Cookie Lyon (EMPIRE) is elitism. The I will burn this building down if i need to is elitism. And I don't mean randomly picking up fights 24/7 that's being ratchet, elite women are polite and well mannered. I mean standing on business. I mean sending the order back when it's not what you ordered. I mean just not paying your stylist when they don't do what you asked. I mean stating- clearly- where your boundaries are and not taking a single step back. I mean when a man tries isht with you downright calling them out on it loudly instead of trying to hash it down or laughing your way out of it. I mean not trying to buy approval by self sacrifice. I mean letting that one coworker know actually no I will not be doing that because it's your job not mine. I mean not answering any work related calls on your day off. I mean taking all your paid leaves. I mean shaming back the people that shame you as loudly as they are trying to shame you- probably more. I mean crossing every line the second one of yours is crossed. elitism. Standing on business. Boundaries. Whis is where you end and I begin, you cross this I cross you.

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p0orbaby · 3 months ago

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Parental Guidance

summary: you’re on the brink of a baby induced nervous breakdown and you need your wife to pull her finger out a little

warnings: just some postnatal tension, but it all works out

a/n: thank you for the request !

word count: 1.2k

You’re pretty sure you haven’t slept in three days. Or is it four? The baby’s a demon. This tiny, adorable, 8-pound entity that seems to thrive on your misery. His cries have melded into a never-ending soundtrack of despair, punctuated by your own hollow attempts at soothing him with a song that you made up on the spot about 48 hours ago and now can’t stop singing. It’s called “Please, for the Love of All That is Good and Holy, Sleep.”

You used to be a person. You had interests, hobbies. You read books that didn’t have the words “Goodnight” and “Moon” in the title. You once watched entire movies from start to finish without interruptions. You’re pretty sure you used to smile, and not the deranged, Joker-esque grin you’ve developed from trying to maintain your sanity while walking a screaming infant around the house at 2 a.m.

And where is your darling wife, Alexia, in all this? Nowhere to be found. Well, she’s at work, technically. Which, fine. Someone has to pay the bills, but wasn’t there some kind of brochure about shared responsibility? Maybe she’s left it in her locker, along with her soul. You barely remember what she looks like at this point. You could pass her in the hallway and just nod politely, like she’s the postman.

You’re doing your best. Really, you are. But the situation is like trying to fill a bath with a teaspoon. And maybe you’re filling the bath wrong. Maybe the bath is cursed. You’ve tried everything—rocking, singing, automatic bouncers, and some baby yoga thing that some well-meaning Instagram mum swore by but mostly just made you realise how tight your hamstrings are.

Last night, you were so desperate, you found yourself Googling “Can babies drink Nyquil?” You didn’t actually give it to him, of course, but the fact that you even considered it is telling. Your maternal instincts have been reduced to the level of a sleep-deprived zombie.

You call Alexia. She picks up after the third ring. You can hear the echo of her voice, so you know she’s in one of those soundproof meeting rooms, which would be useful for something other than work right now, like, say, your mental breakdown.

“How’s it going?” she asks, with a tone that implies she has absolutely no idea how it’s going.

“Oh, fine,” you say, with the kind of deadpan delivery that would get a standing ovation on a late-night comedy show. “The baby’s great. He’s taken up wailing as a full-time job. He’s really passionate about it, you know? Very dedicated. I think he’s trying to set a record”

You hear her exhale softly. “I’m sorry, bebè. It’s just i'm in the middle of some media stuff—”

“No, no,” you cut her off. “By all means, finish giving your opinions on that new stadium or whatever. I’m sure our baby will appreciate it when he’s, I don’t know, 18 and actually sleeping. Maybe he’ll get a job there. Or just stand outside and scream, since that seems to be his true calling”

There’s a pause on the other end. Not a comfortable pause. The kind of pause that suggests she’s realising you might not be entirely okay. The baby shrieks louder, and you realise you’re bouncing him up and down like he’s a basketball and you’re trying to make a buzzer-beater shot.

“I’ll be home soon,” Alexia says finally, her voice softer.

“Define ‘soon,’” you counter, adjusting your grip on the baby before he launches himself out of your arms and catapults into a new dimension where babies don’t need sleep. “Is it ‘soon’ like in 20 minutes, or ‘soon’ like in three hours when I’ve lost the will to live?”

Another pause, this one even worse. You’re pretty sure you can hear her wincing through the phone.

“An hour?” she offers weakly, and you let out a laugh that’s halfway between genuine and maniacal.

“Perfect,” you say. “I’ll just go cry in the airing cupboard until then. The baby and I have matching dark circles under our eyes now, so that’s fun. Maybe we’ll start a band”

You hang up before she can respond, not trusting yourself to say anything else. You’re exhausted, stretched thin, and the fact that your wife isn’t here to witness the madness is only making things worse. You know she’s working hard, that she’s doing her best, but in this moment, it feels like you’re on a sinking ship and she’s on shore, waving at you from a distance.

An hour later, when she finally walks through the door, you’re sitting in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by a sea of baby toys, burp cloths, and what you think might be some sort of baby vomit, though at this point, who really knows?

You look up at her, and she looks back at you, and there’s a brief moment where you’re pretty sure she’s about to turn around and walk right back out the door.

Instead, she says, “I brought wine”

You blink at her, then at the bottle of wine in her hand. It’s a good bottle, too. The kind you used to drink before you had a baby and your definition of “good wine” became “whatever has the highest alcohol content and is closest to the till”

“Great,” you say, pushing yourself up off the floor with a grunt. “Let’s get the baby drunk”

She gives you a tired smile, but you can see the worry behind it. “Cariño…”

“No, it’s fine,” you say, holding up a hand. “It’s totally fine. I’m just saying, if we give him some wine, maybe he’ll sleep. Or at least pass out for a little bit. We can all get some rest. Or die. Either one sounds good at this point”

She sighs, setting the bottle down on the coffee table and coming over to you. She takes the baby from your arms, and you’re almost tempted to just collapse on the spot. Instead, you let yourself lean against her, just for a moment, just long enough to remember what it feels like to be supported by another human being.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and you can hear the guilt in her voice. “I know this is hard. I’ll try to be here more”

You nod, but you’re too tired to respond with words. Instead, you just rest your head on her shoulder and close your eyes, savouring the brief reprieve from the bedlam.

“Do you think he’s broken?” you mumble after a while. “Like, did we get a defective baby?”

Alexia chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to your temple. “No, he’s not broken. He’s just…expressive”

“Expressive,” you repeat, nodding slowly. “Right. So we got the model with all the extra emotions. Great”

“Extra emotions,” Alexia echoes, her tone lightening. “Maybe that means he’ll be a really good artist someday”

“Or he’ll just be really good at screaming,” you say, lifting your head to look at her. “You know, for someone who’s supposed to be on a team, you’ve been doing a lot of solo missions lately”

“I know,” she says softly, her eyes meeting yours. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better”

You let out a long breath, feeling the tension between you, and your shoulder, start to ease. “Okay. But if he screams one more time tonight, we’re selling him to the circus”

“Got it,” Alexia says with a smile, and for the first time in days, you feel like maybe, just maybe, you’re not going through this alone.

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #fcb femeni #fcb femeni x reader #espwnt #espwnt x reader #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso community

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animeshotsh · 3 months ago

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Them as Husbands | HCS |

Summary: Dating + Getting married

Warnings: Mentions of Alastor tendecies, grammar mistakes.

☆ LUCIFER

Best Husband ever.

He gives off the husband of the year.

Will open doors for you, will get you gifts because of a very simple reason (ducks)

Never lets you go away alone, he knows no one would dare hurt the S/O of the king of hell but still...he prefers to be sure.

Will buy whatever you want, even if you were looking at something out of curiosity, its yours.

Is going to introduce you to Charlie and hope you two get along well. Probably Charlie already knows about you since her dad was worried she would see him trying to remplace her mother. But Charlie is actually happy to see her father moving on and being happier!! She is fully supportive.

proposed to you in a wold yet amazing way. This man is down bad for you. Will get the perfect place, music, set up, get on one knee and ask you to be by his side for the eternity.

☆ VOX

He never expected himself to be a husband...with how fast the world progress and how relationships seems well just a thing to past time, he was sure he was out of the game.

Then he meets you, and he glitches because now all these romantic dramas he sees at 1am make sense to him. How everything slows down when he sees you, how the sounds are muffled when talking to you.

He does so many virus and hacks checks on himself to be sure what he feels.

Then is a nervous tv head. This man knows how to flirt and sleep around, not date. Its going to be akward but sweet. He falls first and hard. No one could ever make him dream on getting married.

The ďay he finally proposes is away form cameras, he prefers privacy for this (and is afraid you will say not but he also does not want to social pressure you).

Oh and when you say yes...the news are all about it. He is so dam happy, no one has ever seen him this happier (well unless is Alastor losing).

As a husband he is a gentlemen. He makes your house/aparment all last generation, so you only have to worry over sleeping and doing your hobbies.

Has the best emergency and security in your home/aparment. He is away most of the day so he likes to be sure you are safe and ok.

Yes, will spy you using cameras.

☆ STOLAS

Baby Owl wants a S/O who will respect him and love him for who he is.

Its going to be very and i mean very wary of your intentions with him. He may sleep with you and kiss you but wont fall fast. He is too hurt for that.

Once he feels enough confidence he will ask you to date him directly, no fooling around, you and him.

Will introduce you to Octavia and will be in cloud nine once you two start to bond.

His proposal is well, in space itself. Will take you to your favorite planet, to see the born of a star (signaling the start of your marriage with him) and ask you getting on one knee.

As a husband he is very sweet and tender. Always making sure you are happy with him and with your life. He does not want it to fail so he gives his best. Will need your support on it. Its not shy to cry to you about his fears.

Wants to have another kid with you, by adopting or impregnating you. Its your choice.

☆ ALASTOR

He comes from a time of change but believes once two peopel are dating they must get married sooner or later.

Well, getting him to date you is hard. It takes a lot for the idea to even pass by his head and stay. But somehow you end dating him.

He is someone who prefers quiet dates, you two and thats it. Will take you out if you ask him.

Since he pretty much has the idea of marry you since he accepted you as his S/O he will prepare something more special. Probably a dinner and a sweet speech with jazz in the background.

Letting aside his tendecies and him being a murder he is another gentlemen with you. Opens doors for you, dances with you. If you are from his same period of time he may expect you to make him food, but dont worry if you dont want to he will understand.

Is protective. Knows he has enemies, thats why he has one shadow with you all the time.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #lucifer x reader #vox x reader #stolas x reader

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agirlwithglam · 7 months ago

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how to stop being so obsessed with them.

heyyy bestieees! heres a few tips to stop you from being so obsessed with them cus honeyyy its just not worth it. it doesn't just have to be romantically btw!

"she's literally perfect.. like how??" <- affirmations!

༄ ✬ move on! ༄ ✬

numero uno. move on. okay hear me out! there are 8 billion people in the world. (8 billion freeky deeking people). do yk how much that it? a lot of 0s. and i know for a fact that SO MANY of them would be thrilled to know you, to spend time with you, to love and respect you! if that 1 person out of 8 billion people doesn't seem to recognise your worth, so what?!

"oh but they're perfect and i just love them so much!" ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... sorry, what do you love again? the fact that they don't care enough to return a text, treat you right, make you feel loved?

"i just want them to love me back and treat me the way they treat others because they are so funny and always seem to make me and other people laugh!" oh ma lawd. ur not serious r u? you are?! okokok i won't make fun of you. i can relate to how that feels. but sweetheart, 8 billion. trust me, you'll find a lot more people who are twice as funnier and caring who will love you to the moon and back and make you feel like the most specialist person ever and massage ur crusty musty toes. jk about the last one- unless u want that?

༄ ✬ not everyone will know your worth. ༄ ✬

so asking questions like "but why can't they realise how great i am? or how funny i am? or how loving i am? i would do anything for them, why can't they realise that and treat me the same way back?" im sorry honey but the world doesn't work that way. if someone doesn't feel or treat you as if you're the most glamorous girl in the world, then you need to stop giving them sm energy and importance.

heres an analogy that i got from simonesquared on youtube: in gilmore girls, Rory has this super rich boyfriend Logan right? (who has the most cutest smile ever i might add) and he buys Rory a birkin bag. now to Rory, she doesn't realise the value of a bag like that! to her, its just another bag. she's grateful of course, but she doesn't fully realise the immense value this type of bag has.

༄ ✬ have a life outside of them.༄ ✬

lemme repeat that. have. a. fleeping. life. outside. of. them. they should NOT be the center of your life or the cause of all your actions NUH UH ABSOLUTELY NOT! its okay to do SOME things with the thought of them, but that part is separate from the rest of your life. your life is your life, not theirs!!

this can mean going to the gym, working out, finding new hobbies, educating yourself, self care, etc etc! but don't go about your life, thinking about them. you go about your life thinking about YOU.

༄ ✬ stop chasing them. ༄ ✬

"gee, thanks vanilla. thats so helpful! how did i not think about that earlier?" im assuming thats sarcasm, but whateverr. okay so if they know that you're chasing them, that you're obsessed with them, yk what they'll think? they'll think that 'oh! this person is chasing me, so she really wants me. so she'll stick around. i dont really need to try too hard to keep her cus i know she'll stay. i'll explore my options in the meantime :)'

GIRL do not so available like this! BE BUSY (which relates to the point before). once you glow up, work on your life, not taking it so seriously, and just being happy and enjoying this beautiful gift of life, they will start to think: 'oh! this person (you) is actually quite fabulous. i better try to make her feel happy/ be friends with her before i miss this awesome opportunity!'

cus girl, cmon, you've got things to do, places to be, and people to talk to. i've got goals and dreams and my bucket list. you don't have the time to sit here and be crazy obsessed. so like, if they just leave, um okay and? "yes, and?" what about it? am i meant to be bothered? likerrr okay, byee? i mean, i've got a lot of things to do so i could try to fit in a "help i need you" session between my pilates class and my cooking class? jk <3

༄ ✬ give yourself the damn love. ༄ ✬

why are you obsessed with them? why are you head over heels for somebody who literally couldn't care less? its because they have something that you feel like you're lacking.

is it the fact that they always seem so happy and laughing-y with people around them? that they get super high marks on their test? they are attractive? they have a high status? money? what is it?? often, we can actually give these things to ourselves. some, easier than others. but not impossible. if you really wanted to, you would get up, dust yourself up, and give yourself the love you crave. What you want in others, give to yourself first.

More resources:

How to stop comparing yourself & feel fulfilled without needing external validation.

Thewizardliz: becoming selfish was the best thing i did

Lumma Aziz’s videos

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doeidawn · 16 days ago

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doeidawn's kinkmas day four ❆ mutual masturbation

KINKMAS 2024 | PREVIOUS DAY | NEXT DAY

instating a "no closed doors" rule in your apartment comes with an exciting consequence. 2.3k

❆ pairing: roommate!ghost x fem!reader

❆ tags: MDNI/18+; simon's a little bitchy; slight exhibitionism(?); interrupted masturbation; handjob; fingering

So maybe you were being a bit of an asshole about the new rule in the apartment. But, in your own defense, you didn’t want to pay more for the heat if you didn’t have to. Sure, Simon probably could’ve covered it—you recall him offering to pay the increase last time you nagged him. But the best outcome would be the one where no one pays more, right?

So, yes, you were a kind of an asshole about keeping the doors open in the apartment once it started to get colder. All rooms (excluding the bathroom when occupied) were to be kept open at all times. An even, warm air flow meant everything was nice and comfortable all of the time. There was no hoarding heat in this apartment.

Simon was not a fan of this rule. And you knew he wouldn’t be when you were gathering the courage to tell him for the first time. He was a fine roommate, but one who needed privacy. He had to be alone and keep to himself every now and again. You weren’t sure if it had to do with that job he was so secretive about or if he was just…a little strange. Maybe it was a little of both.

Either way, the new rule implementation caused its fair share of arguments. You’d walk down the hall to see the door to his room shut, then roll your eyes and huff before banging on the door until he opened it. And every time you were met with the same annoyed stare.

If you don’t want me pounding on the door, keep it open. You must’ve told him it a dozen times by this point.

But he slowly started to learn. Slowly. Eventually he broke the habit of shutting the door behind him. As the days went on, there were less doors left for you to either open yourself or bang on until he opened it for you.

Including today, when you look down the hall to notice his bedroom door ajar. There’s a sigh of relief from your mouth. Thank God. But it’s not until you start on your way to your own room that you hear…something coming from within his.

It sounds like Simon, a deep sound, something gruff and strained. You think you hear him curse before there’s a rumbling groan. At first, you wonder if he might be hurt. The guy was so secretive about his work and hobbies, coming back with bruises and scars you could only imagine the source of, so it would be no surprise if he was hurt and trying to hide it.

You tiptoe over to his doorway. Standing outside for a moment, you listen in and hear another whispered curse. There’s a wet sound accompanying his gruff noises, a rhythmic slap that makes your face hot when you realize the source of it. Curiosity gets the better of you. He’s the one with his door wide open, you pitifully excuse in your head as you peer past the propped open door.

Simon’s laying on his bed in the dim room, one hand wrapped around his thick cock and pumping lazily. There’s a sheen of spit or lube or something wet that glistens in the light from the hallway, no doubt the culprit of that lewd, wet sound you hear. Another deep rumble of pleasure from his chest almost has you clenching your thighs together, especially when his hips rise off the mattress to buck into his own hand.

Out of all the details you notice that you’re sure you’ll never forget, you fail to see your shadow cast over his reclined body. The very thing that alerted him to your presence, and your peeping.

“‘s not polite to stare,” he grumbles. You almost don’t comprehend that he’s talking to you at first.

When his heavy eyes look your way, you finally avert your gaze. Looking at his door like it had become the most fascinating thing in the world, you clear your throat. “D’you, uh…want me to shut the door?”

“Oh, well, I would’ve already,” a squelch from the wetness in his hand tells you he’s still stroking himself while he talks, “but then you’d yell at me. Thought I’d do you a favor n’ keep it open.”

“Y-you don’t have to…not while you’re—”

“Y’gonna keep standin’ there or are you gonna c’mere and join me?”

What? It takes all of your willpower to focus on his eyes when you look back at him, the steady movement of his hand visible in your periphery. “W-what?”

“Well, any other roommate would’ve slammed the door shut n’ left already, don’t you think?”

Your mouth opens and shuts like a fish out of water, a myriad of excuses sitting on the tip of your tongue. But none of them manage to stumble out. He was right, someone less interested probably would’ve walked away already. Would he even believe you if you came up with an excuse? Probably not. Was the smartest move to just walk away? Probably.

But you’d be damned before you throw away the opportunity presenting itself. So, against all better judgement, you shuffle into his room with a sigh. No need to shut the door for privacy, you remind yourself.

You watch Simon shift on his bed, his hand stilling on his cock long enough to motion for you. “Atta girl. C’mere.”

Your legs feel unsteady as you crawl onto the open spot next to him on his bed. The way his eyes rake over you make you feel exposed despite being the one still fully clothed. A chill runs through you that no amount of heat in the room would quell.

“So,” you start, trying to ignore the awkwardness that made your voice waver. “D’you want me to…” You gesture towards his crotch and can’t help but stare at the way his wrist twists on every upstroke.

“I mean, if you’re offerin’...” He holds his hands in the air in a mock-surrender, as if giving himself over to you. “But only if I can return the favor.”

Your face runs hot imagining his hands on your body in response to your touch. You hadn’t even felt him yet and you already knew you wanted to make him cum, wanted to be the reason he moaned and whined. With no reason to deny him, you settle against the mattress with a sigh and run a hand down his hip.

There was no need to tease or work him up; he’d already done most of the work for you. Your fingers wrap around the base of his cock and glide up, aided with what you think is lube already coating his flesh. The deep rumbling moan that comes from his chest is complimented by the way he throbs against your hand.

“That’s it…” Simon encourages you with his fingers splayed on your thigh. His other hand rests atop yours, dwarfing yours as he shows you how fast to pump his cock. “There you go, stroke it just like that.”

He was much more vocal once it was your hand on him. Whether because it was a foreign touch or because your hand had to be so much softer than his, you weren’t sure. Either way, he was mumbling curses and encouragement between every other moan you drew from him. To say it boosted your ego was an understatement, but it also had you so unbearably hot you had to squeeze your thighs together to ease the throbbing ache between them.

He must’ve noticed the tension in your body, because the hand on your thigh slides up to tug on your clothes. Too impatient and horny to refuse, you aid him in removing all the fabric below your waist, exposing your own body just as much as he had.

Simon groans when your legs spread, sucking in a sharp breath between his teeth. He wastes no time seeking out your cunt, thick fingers spreading you apart and running through your slick. “Always wondered what you looked like,” he mutters. “Even prettier than I imagined.”

You couldn’t dwell on the implications of that right now. You can’t think straight long enough to process anything aside from the feel of two of his fingers teasing your hole. Your lack of objection and the incessant twitch of your hips gives him all the confirmation he needs.

In a quick movement that takes your breath away, he pushes those two fingers in, spearing deep inside your cunt. Your hand tightens around his cock in unintentional reflex, and the new grip nearly makes him choke on his moan. The hand lazily covering yours squeezes tight to encourage your rougher grasp as you stroke him in time with the pump of his fingers in your cunt.

“Shit, you’re so tight…bet you’d be even tighter ‘round my dick,” he mutters with his jaw set tight.

You mimic his earlier movements, twisting your wrist on the upstroke, watching his hips lift to chase the sensation of your hand. “Mm, you’d stretch me so good with this cock, Simon. I bet you’d fill me perfectly.”

“Fuck, yes. I’d fill you so good, baby. Make you cum on my cock ‘til you’re screamin’.”

His fingers curl in a movement that makes you keen, pressing just right to make your cunt flutter around his digits. Your thighs tense, clamping around his arm instinctively. You don’t want it to stop, but the sudden shockwaves of pleasure surprise your body. Your hips rock into his hand as silent encouragement.

“Oh, you liked that, huh?” His voice bites as he teases you. “Like thinkin’ about me splittin’ you open and fuckin’ you?” All you can offer in response is a pathetic nod of your head and a soft ‘mm-hmm’. “Fuck, me too. I think about you all the time, y’know. ‘bout bendin’ you over the counter n’ fuckin’ you stupid. Or wonderin’ how pretty you’d look bouncin’ on my cock.”

You can’t hide the way you cunt tightens around his fingers at his confession. Your mind runs wild conjuring up images as he explains his fantasies. It’s dirty and depraved, but, God help you, it’s everything you could ever want from him.

“Christ, I wish you would,” you whine. “Wish you would just bend me over and fuck me.”

“Yeah? You’d let me?” Simon groans when your hand speeds up in response. “This pussy would take me so good, wouldn’t it? All wet and ready for my cock…”

His fingers slide out, ignore your protesting whine to spread you open. He pats your swollen clit with two firm strikes; not enough to hurt, but just enough to make you yelp and jerk your hips. Then he’s sinking his fingers right back into you, giving you no time to savor it before pumping them in and out, aligning the pace of his hand with yours.

Pressure starts to build in your core, hot and tense, mounting with each thrust of his fingers. “Hah, Si…” You don’t mean to moan his name, but it feels so right on your tongue.

“Gonna cum, aren’t you? Fuck, you’re squeezin’ my hand, baby…”

Your grip on his starts to falter, all of your attention focused on the unrelenting pleasure between your legs. “Si, please, fuck—”

“Don’t stop, I’m right there with you. Wanna cum with you.” The hand covering yours grips you tight, guiding your hand firmly around his cock. His hips lift to meet the difference, fucking into your palm as you languidly stroke. “There you go, make me cum. Make me cum while I fuck this pretty cunt.”

His fingers hit deep, brushing against that spot up top on the downstroke. He hits it over and over, each time forcing a moan from your lips. It only takes a few more of his focused thrusts to make you cum, gripping his digits tight as your slick floods his hand in sticky gushes.

Your hand must tighten around him as the rest of your body tenses. His words quickly turn to incoherent moans and grunts as he uses the last of his energy to fuck your hand. You look over just in time with your heavy to see his cock jerk in your hand before spilling his cum over your fingers. He pays no mind to the few drops that land on his stomach, only concerned about the sight of your small hand painted white.

You both lay there for a moment, panting as you give your cum-covered hands a break. There’s a million questions running through your head as soon as the fog of lust clears. You didn’t have the energy to worry about most of them right now.

Except one. “Do you really think about me when you get off?”

Simon laughs at that, almost like he can’t believe you’re asking him. “Yeah. Most of the time.” You must give him an incredulous look, because he shrugs his shoulders once his eyes meet yours. “I’m a simple man with a hot roommate. I dunno what you expect.”

Your fingers brush over his cock in one last teasing stroke before you pull your hand away. He’s not as eager to seperate so soon, deciding to leave his hand on your thigh as you sit up. “I expect a man like you to be brave enough to ask me for sex instead of resorting to your hand.”

“Well, we’re halfway there. A’least it was your hand this time.” You roll your eyes at that. “Alright. Keep your door open next time you think about me. Maybe then you’ll get your expectations met.”You didn’t say it out loud, but you wanted to shout ‘deal!’ and make sure he kept up his end of the bargain. But you didn’t have to wonder—you were sure he’d take full advantage of the “open doors” rule. In fact, he might be an even bigger advocate for it than you are now.

#doeidawn's kinkmas #clown writes #ghost cod #cod smut #cod x reader #call of duty #cod #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon riley smut #simon riley x reader #simon riley

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mayasaurusss · 1 month ago

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"You like that?"

Inspired by Lottie getting chocked in the new teaser...don't judge me.

Contains: transfem Lottie, gn reader

The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes inside the cabin's attic, muffled sounds and moans coming from both of you as you move against your lover. Lottie, underneath you, skin darkening around the cheeks and sweat trailing down her temple moans, sighs and whimpers as you ride her to her well deserved little death.

Ever since the crash, hell, maybe even before it, Lottie has been very open and lovely with you. At first you though that she was just begin nice to you, since you were new on the team, but after a while, you two became friends. As much as you could be friends with her anyways. You found out she was a very busy woman, and even if she did sometimes asked you to join her and the rest of the team -you were too shy at the time to fully loose up- you never found the time to develop your friendship more than the three hours a day during practice.

But something changed after the crash. Whether it was her need to be close to someone or a sincere interest over you, you and Lottie became close. Closer than ever, actually, sometimes attracting the envious eyes of your other teammates.

Both of you bonded over your hobbies, music and movies, trivia -a thing that you found Lottie liked to talk about,a lot- and books. And through the wilderness you had started to rely on each other so much, that with time, your affections turned into lingering touches and shy looks. You two became lovers into the chaos that was the aftermath of the crash, two pillars for one another. It was a cold November evening when you two kissed for the first time. The wind was strong against the cabin's outer walls, snow pressing against the window and ice forming at it's base. You had spent that afternoon in Lottie's embrace, fighting the cold biting at your skin. Everyone was asleep by the fire, cuddled up together, but neither you not Lottie slept. She had her body pressed against yours, gently lulling you to sleep by warming you. When your eyes begun to close, she snuggled her nose near yours, without even thinking about it, and before long, you threw your arms at her neck and kissed her tenderly.

When the air between you two finally grew thick with need, you couldn't keep you hands to yourself anymore, and neither could she.

You had noticed for a while how she looked at you with a different light in her eyes. How she lingered on your curves for a bit too long, how the flesh of her cheeks darkned when you were near her, how she became all fidgety and shy when you talked to her. It has always been clear -at least to everyone else beside you two- that there was something between you and Lottie.

"Hey..." she came to you one afternoon, when the heat of sunrays melted the snow on the window. "Lottie? What is it?" you were shoveling the snow off of the door at the best of your abilities, teeth pressed tightly. Lottie on the other hand didn't seem too affected by the cold, but that maybe was because she had been inside up until this point. "I wanted to tell you... that I really enjoy your company" she seemed fidgety and uncharacteristically shy, a side of her character that only surfaced while she was with you. "Oh...I really like your company too, Lot". You got back to shoveling away, but she remained at your side. "I meaan... I really like your company. I like you. And we kissed. So..." the way those words were pronounced and the faint red on her cheeks made you realize what the subtex really was.

She rubbed her thighs over and over again, trying to make her bulge less noticeable but failing miserably to do so.

"So...could we, you know..." her voice dropped in the last syllable, vocal chords barely holding on the sound in her throat. She looked so cute, so beautiful with the reflection of the snow in her eyes. And how could you say no to her?

So here you are: in the attic, with your hands on Lottie's throat while bouncing on her dick. The cold is seeping in from the outside and affecting your lovemaking, but the heat your bodies produce is enough to warm both of you. Lottie sits naked under you, a blanket between her and the floor. She had the thoughtfulness of making a little "nest" for you two to be comfortable. The others have her a weird look when she asked for more blankets and pillows, but ignore what they would be needed for. The sound of humping above their heads is enough to make them guess, you think.

"Fuck...oh baby, fuck..." Lottie's eyes roll back, her hands gripping at your hips and shaking. She feels weak underneath you, strenght leaving her everytime she sinks back inside. "Please...please, slow down a moment, or I am going to..." her pleas fall on deaf ears when your hips fall back repeatedly on her own's, even doubling your efforts and moving faster and faster, making her exhale every breath from her lungs. She can't help but be estatich when you take her faster, almost delirious; maybe she did hope you were not going to listen to her.

She can already feel herself bursting, skin tingling and brain empty. Her please and whimpers get erratic, exhaling so loudly you're sure someone knows what you two are up to.

"Lottie! Shut up!" you say, kneeling over her body so that you are face to face with her. Without even thinking about it, you place your hands at either side of her neck, lightly pressing on her throat. "Just-! Be quiet! The others might-" you quickly shut up when you see the look on Lottie's face: her blush has spreaded on her shoulders, her eyes are humid and she looks at you with such adoration and eagerness that your heart hurts.

Something inside of you suggests what that look means, and just to try, or maybe to tease and torture her, you clench down on her cock while tightening your grip on her neck. You watch as a long and loud whine escapes her throat, eyes rolling back and hips chasing you upwards, impaling you on her length and making you fall over her, loosening your grip over her.

"So...you like that..." Lottie just whines and shudders, protesting the lack of movement on your part. "Yeah? Don't worry baby..." you roll your hips downward, making Lottie moan loudly, a bead of precum falling from your entrance on her crotch, "I am going to give you the time of your life".

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews x reader #smut oneshot

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luveline · 1 year ago

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Hi! I was hoping you’d write a James or Remus fic, literally anything you want just make it super fluffy, thanks!

modern au, fem

"You have training in half an hour. What are you doing?"

James looks up from his games console with a frown. "What?"

"You have rugby training in half an hour, Jamie. You haven't had lunch or anything." You frown as he goes back to his game. "James, this is terrible time-keeping."

"Sorry, I can't pause it! It's that thing. Just– fuck, two seconds my lovely beautiful darli– fuck me!"

Curious, you creep around the bedroom to the side of the bed where he's sitting with a hunched back. "Oh. I never should've let you try. I've turned my gym mad boyfriend into a degenerate."

You honestly believe that James should spend his time doing what makes him happiest (so long as he spends time with you, too), and for him that's rugby and weight training. They're not solely independent from one another, but they also don't always coincide, and so he spends a large majority of his time up and active. You spend some of that time active but more of it on different hobbies, including the games console. "How long have you been playing?" you ask, leaning down to stroke the thick wave of his hair from his forehead.

"Just an hour while you were, uhm. What were you doing?"

You kiss his forehead. "Meditating."

He laughs. "Wait, were you actually? I want to meditate with you."

"I was doing the washing. Basically meditation if you try hard enough." He splats someone on the game, then a second person, a third in quick succession. "Are you better than me?"

"No way, shortcake." He splats a fourth person with impressive dexterity, narrowly avoiding his own death. "I'm trying to get coins for you so you can buy that thing you want."

James is better at the game than you, because of course he is. "I hate boys," you say decisively, kissing his forehead again. "Finish the game and get dressed, my love. I'll make you a roll to eat on the way."

You steal a last fond kiss and he shouts sweet everythings down the stairs at you. "If my hands weren't busy!" he promises.

You make him a sandwich and another to eat after practice and put them in a tupperware, knowing he'll scarf both in the car. It's fine, you'll just make him a third when he gets home. Time ticks on, training starts in twenty minutes, then ten. You hear the telltale sound of your avatar upstairs dying and snort to yourself.

"James Potter!" you shout from the bottom of the stairs. "I need help!"

There's a sudden thump and the tell-tale rush of him opening your bedroom door. "What?" he asks, coming down the stairs in a whirlwind. "What, lovely?"

You pass him his kit and tupperware. "You're about to be late."

"What a devious thing to do," he murmurs with a squint, though he gives you an appreciative sideways hug. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd probably have more muscles," you say.

He kisses the soft skin under your eye as though this is the normal place for a kiss. "I think you're right. I got you enough for that thing, by the way. What was it? An aerospray?"

He presses another kiss into the first.

You laugh and push him out the door before he gets too informed.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x fem!reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter fic #james potter fluff #james potter blurb #james potter drabble #james potter imagine #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter scenario #james potter oneshot #the marauders #marauders era #marauders

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adioringhamzah · 18 days ago

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books and love

you think your brainrot addicted boyfriend doesn't care about your interests enough until he surprises you.

a.n : hamzah x gf!reader, y/n loves reading, written thanks to this request

you've been dating hamzah for a few weeks now, and most of your time at home together was spent the same. him scrolling on tiktok to keep up with the new trends, "it's for work," he always says.

while you're in another room, flipping through the pages of the current book you're reading.

right now, you found an interest in otessa moshfeg's my year of rest and relaxation, which you idolise a little, thinking about how you would love a year with sleep as your only goal. obviously, you can't, but imagining yourself as the wealthy main character is enough. at least your boyfriend is better though.

"oh my God y/n, y/n" hamzah practically screams, making your reading come to an end, you make your way to the living room where your boyfriend's holding his phone at arm length in your direction.

"how hilarious is this?" he says almost dying laughing. you look at the video, which features a "chill guy" with some silly text written next to it. "ha ha" you say, not very amused.

hamzah looks at you a little annoyed, not understanding how you're not laughing at something that he considers as the height of humour. you shrug, and go back to your comfy bed, where your book is awaits you.

after a few chapters already, you watch as the room's door gets opened, your boyfriend entering. your peace gets absolutely disrupted when you hear the loud "mama a girl behind you" meme coming from his phone.

he makes his way to the bed while you're staring at him, visibly annoyed. he gets closer to you, and tries to hug you, the sound still playing. "hamzah pleaseee what's with your tiktok addiction" you say while pointing at his opened phone in a dry tone, pushing him away.

he apologises quickly before turning it off. you spend the rest of the night still a little distant, hamzah is still scrolling, now on reels and with headphones in. meanwhile you're on the last pages of your book.

you can't help but feel frustrated at hamzah being so uninterested in your hobby. he never once asked you about what book you're reading or which is your favourite. but he sees no problem in sending you dumb memes every second of the day.

while hamzah's showering you end your book, and grab your phone, scouring the internet trying to find hamzah a christmas present. he's probably going to buy you some dumb thing isn't he?

the next day, you wake up to a blinding light coming from the window. you get up, admiring the snow that's covering the landscape.

you yawn, wondering where your other half is. you decide to get changed, putting on one of his silly shirts, "mama needs a blunt" you read out loud.

once you're ready to go eat breakfast, you notice little pieces of paper on the floor. you kneel down and see that they're ripped pieces from a book with little arrows marked on them. you follow them, concerned by a potential book of yours getting destroyed, but quickly stop thinking about it when you see hamzah.

he stands in the middle of the living room, with a huge smile on his face. you approach him, feeling overly excited by whatever he seems to be hiding behind him.

you're left speechless when he takes a step on the side, letting you see his surprise.

it's the cutest thing ever : a christmas tree made off piled up books, they're all from your goodreads reading list.

"aw hamzah this is the cutest thing ever, thank you so much" you say, taking him in a hug.

"i'm so happy you like it baby, also sorry for yesterday i used my phone to find book christmas tree tutorials", you look at him speechless, tightening your hug but quickly going back to the ripped pieces of paper you found on the floor.

he starts giggling, taking a visibly ripped up book from behind the couch. you look anxiously until you notice it's a colleen hoover one.

hope you liked <3

#hamzah the fantastic #hamzahmoodboard #hamzahthefantastic #martin and hamzah #slushy noobz #slushy virus #hamzah imagines #hamzah x reader #hamzah x y/n #hamzah fic #hamzah smut #hamzah #hamzahthefanatasticxreader

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steddieas-shegoes · 10 months ago

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Steve and Eddie go through the whole adoption process in 1996, despite how difficult it was to find somewhere willing to help them at all and despite their conflicted feelings on adoption.

The way they saw it though, providing a loving home for a child who needed one was better than the alternative. Eddie had enough experience with temporary foster homes to know stability was better than constant moving and questionable foster parents.

They get a foster placement almost immediately, a six year old girl named Amelia. She’s quiet, but not in a way that worries them. She’s very focused, and enjoys going to school more than any regular children’s hobbies. Neither of them know what to do with that other than keep encouraging it.

She stays for months, months turn into a year, and the agency finally gives them the go ahead to complete the adoption process.

But they don’t do anything without talking to Amelia.

She’s happy there, her therapist signs off on it immediately and explains that Amelia has shown more personality development and less signs of trauma with them than she had even living at home. Not to mention they actually brought her to appointments, unlike her previous guardians.

To celebrate, they throw a party with all their friends and family and tell Amelia she can invite anyone from school she wants. She invites everyone.

Turns out their daughter is a social butterfly and is friends with everyone.

At the party, Eddie pulls out his guitar, plays a bunch of popular kid-friendly songs after a very scathing look from Steve as a reminder to behave.

Amelia walks over to him after a few songs, on a sugar high like he’d never seen on her before, and asks to play the guitar.

He’s hesitant, but not because he’s still protective of his guitars, more because he doesn’t want her to embarrass herself in front of her friends. Kids are cruel, even and especially at seven, and the last thing he wants is this to be the thing that kids talk about for the next ten years.

She sits on the couch and holds it, arranging her fingers…correctly. Eddie watches.

Steve is watching from across the room.

She starts strumming, very quietly at first, not as confident as she’d been a moment ago. And then she starts really playing.

It’s one of the songs Eddie wrote. He played it for the last four months nonstop as he perfected it, and she’d apparently been watching.

Eddie’s jaw is on the floor and he quickly looks over to Steve, who has a similar look of surprise on his face.

He doesn’t interrupt her. She makes it through the entire song.

She looks up.

“When did you learn to play guitar?” Eddie asks.

“When I was watching you.”

“But have you played before tonight?”

Amelia shook her head, looking down. “Didn’t wanna touch it without asking.”

Eddie pulls the guitar from her hands and sets it aside, then pulls her into his lap and hugs her. Steve sits down on the couch next to them, hand on her back.

“You can always ask, sweetie. And if you’re this interested and this natural, we can buy you your own guitar if you want. I didn’t think you were interested in playing.”

“I wanna be like you,” Amelia admitted against his shoulder.

Eddie was done for. He looked at Steve, half-panicked, trying not to cry in front of these people, but Steve wasn’t faring any better.

“Then we can go get you a guitar tomorrow. You can get your own picks, too. They might even have purple ones.”

“Can I have red? Like yours?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

It only took them two days after that to realize she could play by ear, just like Eddie.

And then it only took another day after that to realize she had taught herself to read music too.

They spent hours and hours every week playing together while Steve cooked dinner or checked her homework or just watched them.

When Eddie’s band decided to record another album and go on tour when Amelia was 12, Eddie insisted that she get to be on it.

She ended up helping write one of their songs, played on the track on the album, and with a lot of work, convinced Steve to let them homeschool her for the entire 8 months they’d be on tour so she could perform on stage with her dad.

“Can’t believe she’s not even genetically yours. Are you sure you didn’t have an affair?” Steve asked the night before they were leaving for Europe.

“When would I have had an affair? I came back to the tour bus or hotel with you every single night,” Eddie kissed him softly. “She’s amazing, huh?”

“She is. What happens when she wants to be a full blown rockstar like her dad too?”

“Then we make sure she’s protected and has good people around her like I have. She could be a rockstar easily. She’s got the talent and the presence,” Eddie smiled. “And she’s got me to make sure no one takes advantage of her. But she’s only 12. We’ve got time to worry about that later.”

“You’re bringing her onstage every single night all over the world for the next eight months, baby. I think later is now.”

Eddie sighed. “She’s gonna blow them all away. I’m proud of her. Let’s focus on that for now.”

And she did blow everyone away. The fans and the media had nothing but good things to say, and Steve didn’t have to go into overprotective mom mode at all until she was 15 and signing a record deal of her own.

But between Eddie and him, the entire industry knew better than to fuck with her or them.

They made rules, of course. School still came first, she still had required family events to be at, she still had regular friends at home. She wasn’t allowed at any parties, not even the events for award ceremonies.

But she didn’t really need those rules. She had no interest in parties or abandoning her friends or family, and she was a straight A student who still had hopes of getting into Brown for Journalism like her Aunt Nancy. She had a passion for music and wanted to share it, but not at the cost of the rest of her life.

And Eddie and Steve did everything they could to make sure she got to have everything. That’s what they’d promised her from day one.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #so adoption is complicated #and I won’t pretend that there are plenty of aspects of the system that are so fucked beyond repair #and this is not the time or place to talk about them #so don’t do that in the comments #you’ll get blocked tbh because we’re here in this specific space to have fun #that is all #steddie dads #also this isn’t how the industry works #this isn’t how the media works #the world is cruel to young performers #but we’re pretending #this is fiction

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just-a-creep-babe · 2 months ago

Text

What Makes You Tick - Prologue

(Ticci Toby x Reader)

Cheers to the new longer fic series starring Toby! Hope you enjoy this brief little intro to get a taste of what's to come~

Commissions are open!

Masterlist: x

Divider by @plum98

Work.

That’s what Toby’s life revolves around. Day in, day out. He doesn’t have hobbies, doesn’t have friends to hang out with—and he certainly doesn’t have a family to go back home to, either. He has work.

It consumes him.

He’s thankful for it, though. It’s pathetic to say, but at least he has something. At least he’s still good for one thing. At least he’s not completely fucking useless.

So it doesn’t bother him when Slender sends him out on a mission not even a full 24 hours after the last one. It's just another distraction, another way to kill some time and keep his darker thoughts at bay. It's another way to feel useful, to feel needed.

He notices, as he's preparing his things, that his partners in crime aren't the happiest about getting thrown into another job. But then again, when are they ever happy?

Toby sits on the couch in their dingy cabin when he finishes prepping. Hoodie joins him not too long after, leaning against the side of the couch with his arms folded over his chest, and both wait in silence for the following orders.

When Masky has most of his things ready, he stands in front of them and addresses them for a debrief. It's a fairly standard mission, as far as jobs go. Something about someone with the Sickness who's trying to find the cure and needs to be intercepted—same old, same old. There's a strange kind of comfort in the regularity of the work.

Ever since the incident, Toby's life stopped making sense. But at least there's still some semblance of routine within the insanity of it all. At least he could still cling to these fleeting threads of normalcy.

"Toby."

Snap.

Masky snaps his fingers in front of Toby's face.

"You're zoning out. I need you focused."

"I am focused," Toby retorts.

"No, you're not. You're not taking this seriously."

With a roll of his eyes, Toby looks up at the ceiling.

"That's because we've done this exact same job hundreds of-of times by now. I don't need to listen to the same fu-fucking debriefing every s-single time."

Masky pinches the bridge of his nose, furrows his brows, and exhales deeply through his tired frustration.

"It's not the same every time. I'm giving you important information that you need to know and you need to remember. I don't do this shit for fun, Toby; it's not a fucking game."

"I'm not saying it's a fucking game," Toby stands abruptly as a jolt of anger snaps through his body. It takes everything in his power to stop himself from grabbing Masky's collar and shaking him. "I'm saying I'm sick of hearing you spew out the same crap time and time again when you—when you could just s-summarize it or something!"

"I am summarizing it—you fucking dipshit. You'd know that if you fucking listened for once in your life."

Toby's about to lose whatever meager ounce of self-control he has, when Hoodie steps in between them and separates them.

"Alright, that's enough. No injuries before we're on site. I don't wanna have to work more to compensate for dead weight."

"Just—focus, alright?" Masky insists, and all Toby can think about is how satisfying it would be to throw his fist into his dumb fucking face.

"I am focused," the youngest of the three seethes the words out.

"Alright, can you repeat the plan to me, then?"

"We're finding our target, going in, seeing what edge we can find. They have some—some notebook or wh-whatever and Slender wants it back. We kill if we need to."

Masky groans, as if the recap isn't good enough, but Hoodie shakes his head, as if to dissuade his partner from arguing any further.

"It'll do," Hoodie states, "C'mon, it shouldn't be a long one. The sooner we're in, the sooner we're out."

And just like that, the three separate to start loading up the car and heading out.

Masky drives, as usual, and Hoodie takes shotgun, leaving Toby in the back, as usual. He doesn't mind it too much, though; anything is better than sitting next to Masky for an extended amount of time. Plus, not having to worry about the road gives him plenty of time to look out the window and daydream. It's one of the few times he can escape, and his mind won't take him anywhere unpleasant.

Well, most of the time it won't, anyway. Which is about as good as it can get.

They sleep at a hotel after driving non-stop for the rest of the day, and they're on the road for the following two days after that. It's only on the fourth day that they finally crash at a hotel that Masky announces will be their "home, sweet home" until the end of the job.

He recaps the mission, again, but Toby, admittedly, only really pays attention to their target's description. He hears Masky explain that they’ll start working at dusk, but Toby’s already too busy testing out the mattresses and pillows to bother listening.

Thankfully, Masky ignores him instead of bitching at him, and the two other proxies talk about more shit Toby doesn't care about.

At least this won't be a long one, Toby thinks, his eyes already growing heavy as the comfort of the cheap hotel bed encourages him to relax. The last coherent thought he has is the feeling of relief that at least this mission’s bound to be over before he knows it.

And then his thoughts are lost to his dreams.

#creepypasta #what makes you tick #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby #Ticci Toby X reader

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mostlysignssomeportents · 9 months ago

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Too big to care

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in BOSTON with Randall "XKCD" Munroe (Apr 11), then PROVIDENCE (Apr 12), and beyond!

Remember the first time you used Google search? It was like magic. After years of progressively worsening search quality from Altavista and Yahoo, Google was literally stunning, a gateway to the very best things on the internet.

Today, Google has a 90% search market-share. They got it the hard way: they cheated. Google spends tens of billions of dollars on payola in order to ensure that they are the default search engine behind every search box you encounter on every device, every service and every website:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

Not coincidentally, Google's search is getting progressively, monotonically worse. It is a cesspool of botshit, spam, scams, and nonsense. Important resources that I never bothered to bookmark because I could find them with a quick Google search no longer show up in the first ten screens of results:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/21/im-feeling-unlucky/#not-up-to-the-task

Even after all that payola, Google is still absurdly profitable. They have so much money, they were able to do a $80 billion stock buyback. Just a few months later, Google fired 12,000 skilled technical workers. Essentially, Google is saying that they don't need to spend money on quality, because we're all locked into using Google search. It's cheaper to buy the default search box everywhere in the world than it is to make a product that is so good that even if we tried another search engine, we'd still prefer Google.

This is enshittification. Google is shifting value away from end users (searchers) and business customers (advertisers, publishers and merchants) to itself:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/05/the-map-is-not-the-territory/#apor-locksmith

And here's the thing: there are search engines out there that are so good that if you just try them, you'll get that same feeling you got the first time you tried Google.

When I was in Tucson last month on my book-tour for my new novel The Bezzle, I crashed with my pals Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden. I've know them since I was a teenager (Patrick is my editor).

We were sitting in his living room on our laptops – just like old times! – and Patrick asked me if I'd tried Kagi, a new search-engine.

Teresa chimed in, extolling the advanced search features, the "lenses" that surfaced specific kinds of resources on the web.

I hadn't even heard of Kagi, but the Nielsen Haydens are among the most effective researchers I know – both in their professional editorial lives and in their many obsessive hobbies. If it was good enough for them…

I tried it. It was magic.

No, seriously. All those things Google couldn't find anymore? Top of the search pile. Queries that generated pages of spam in Google results? Fucking pristine on Kagi – the right answers, over and over again.

That was before I started playing with Kagi's lenses and other bells and whistles, which elevated the search experience from "magic" to sorcerous.

The catch is that Kagi costs money – after 100 queries, they want you to cough up $10/month ($14 for a couple or $20 for a family with up to six accounts, and some kid-specific features):

https://kagi.com/settings?p=billing_plan&plan=family

I immediately bought a family plan. I've been using it for a month. I've basically stopped using Google search altogether.

Kagi just let me get a lot more done, and I assumed that they were some kind of wildly capitalized startup that was running their own crawl and and their own data-centers. But this morning, I read Jason Koebler's 404 Media report on his own experiences using it:

https://www.404media.co/friendship-ended-with-google-now-kagi-is-my-best-friend/

Koebler's piece contained a key detail that I'd somehow missed:

When you search on Kagi, the service makes a series of “anonymized API calls to traditional search indexes like Google, Yandex, Mojeek, and Brave,” as well as a handful of other specialized search engines, Wikimedia Commons, Flickr, etc. Kagi then combines this with its own web index and news index (for news searches) to build the results pages that you see. So, essentially, you are getting some mix of Google search results combined with results from other indexes.

In other words: Kagi is a heavily customized, anonymized front-end to Google.

The implications of this are stunning. It means that Google's enshittified search-results are a choice. Those ad-strewn, sub-Altavista, spam-drowned search pages are a feature, not a bug. Google prefers those results to Kagi, because Google makes more money out of shit than they would out of delivering a good product:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/4/2/24117976/best-printer-2024-home-use-office-use-labels-school-homework

No wonder Google spends a whole-ass Twitter every year to make sure you never try a rival search engine. Bottom line: they ran the numbers and figured out their most profitable course of action is to enshittify their flagship product and bribe their "competitors" like Apple and Samsung so that you never try another search engine and have another one of those magic moments that sent all those Jeeves-askin' Yahooers to Google a quarter-century ago.

One of my favorite TV comedy bits is Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator; Tomlin would do these pitches for the Bell System and end every ad with "We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company":

https://snltranscripts.jt.org/76/76aphonecompany.phtml

Speaking of TV comedy: this week saw FTC chair Lina Khan appear on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. It was amazing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaDTiWaYfcM

The coverage of Khan's appearance has focused on Stewart's revelation that when he was doing a show on Apple TV, the company prohibited him from interviewing her (presumably because of her hostility to tech monopolies):

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/apple-got-caught-censoring-its-own

But for me, the big moment came when Khan described tech monopolists as "too big to care."

What a phrase!

Since the subprime crisis, we're all familiar with businesses being "too big to fail" and "too big to jail." But "too big to care?" Oof, that got me right in the feels.

Because that's what it feels like to use enshittified Google. That's what it feels like to discover that Kagi – the good search engine – is mostly Google with the weights adjusted to serve users, not shareholders.

Google used to care. They cared because they were worried about competitors and regulators. They cared because their workers made them care:

https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/4/4/18295933/google-cancels-ai-ethics-board

Google doesn't care anymore. They don't have to. They're the search company.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

#pluralistic #john stewart #the daily show #apple #monopoly #lina khan #ftc #too big to fail #too big to jail #monopolism #trustbusting #antitrust #search #enshittification #kagi #google

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potatomountain · 4 months ago

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CIY- CH 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader 📍Summary: "Belonging" 📍WC: 3.6k 📍AU: detective/mafia 📍Genre: action, dark themes, poly romance 📍Warning(s): 18+ rating, some angst, mentions of emotional neglect? slight misogyny 📍Nets: @pirateeznet | @mirohs-aurora-society 📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @flurrys-creativity , @candypop1611 , @yourfatherlucifer , @skteezcursed and edited(usually) by the amazing: @daemour 📍dividers made by: @cafekitsune

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“What do you mean talk?” You mumbled out, crossing your arms over your chest. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck which reminded you of the tattoos he had there. You swallowed, reminding yourself that it wasn’t uncommon for cops and detectives to have tattoos, you had some yourself. “I mean just that. We need to talk. I’m… well aware of how close you’re getting to everyone. Well, mostly everyone.” You still didn’t relax, instead you were bristling now. “If this is another warning to mind my business I-” “No no, it’s not that. It's pointless to try and keep you out of this now. But that isn’t going to stop me from worrying. Can I take you out to lunch? Have just a normal conversation about this? I’ll drop you off downtown today instead of Wooyoung.” He didn’t appear ready to tear you a new one or threaten you with a wad of cash to disappear like you half expected… the tea you’ve been hearing at the club was starting to get to you. This isn’t a k-drama.

“Okay.” You reluctantly obliged, letting your arms drop and reaching for your heels. Seonghwa reached out and grabbed a pair of leather boots instead. “You’re going to need these instead.” Skeptical, but not going to ask questions, you took the boots and pulled them on. Thankfully they still went with your outfit but you didn’t understand why the boots-

Until you were standing before a motorcycle and Seonghwa was holding out a helmet to you. Taking it, you watched with new appreciation as he pulled a leather jacket on. Somehow biker was not on the list of hobbies you thought he would have. In fact you hadn’t thought too much about Seonghwa in ways you liked to acknowledge, more often than not just admiring how fucking gorgeous he was.

But that had changed since last week, when you were sure he had gotten off to what Wooyoung had done to you. He hadn’t shown interest before then, so it had sent your mind in a downward spiral any time you did think of him. Once more you were marveling at this new information about him as you pulled the helmet on, climbing onto the bike behind him once he motioned for you to do so. Where to put your hands was another thing.

Seonghwa didn’t hesitate, grabbing your hands and wrapping them around his waist, your mouth suddenly going dry as you realized how small his waist was. You could hear his chuckle through the helmet, your body getting pulled with his as he leaned forward a bit to start the bike. Your chest was pressed firmly against his back, breathing hitched as you tried to just focus on anything else but him. Then you two were moving through the streets with ease, the heat and hum of the bike beneath you was as exhilarating as the wind on your bare legs and the ripple of his muscles under your hands. You wanted to feel it more, releasing your grip to sit up straighter, just to have his hand cover one of yours. He didn’t tug you back in place, but fingers entwined to keep you from going too far.

It was almost romantic, and you hated how it had your heart racing for a whole other reason than the adrenaline pumping through your veins.

In an attempt to get your bearings about you, you shut your eyes and just took in the moment, debating on just how much you could trust the man before you. His icy welcome, his attempts to control Hongjoong’s flirting, the way he refused to kiss you when Hongjoong did… But there was also the way he scolded Yunho the one time you had been late, telling him to be nice to you, when you knew he didn’t have to. His attempts at a truce, at keeping the peace, managing you and the others. But then there had been the gym, the practicing, his praise and encouragement when they first started opening up their work to you.

Could you confidently say that Seonghwa hated you? That he disliked you? Or had he just been trying to be protective over his friends? Tried to manage the hostility from the beginning and it just came off… wrong?

Lost in your head, the sudden stop had you hitting Seonghwa’s back with a surprised gasp, blushing under the helmet as his body shook with laughter. In an attempt to save face, you pulled your hands away and looked around. You were more uptown, still center city, but were outside a cute mom and pop cafe that seemed to have quite a bit of business despite the starbucks a few buildings down and a few other chain mainstream stores around. Stepping off the bike you took off your helmet, keeping your back to him since you still felt quite flustered. “This is where we’re eating?” “Yeah, this would be my favorite place to go.” Seonghwa hummed, taking off his helmet, not a hair out of place as he set both on the bike and secured them. “Do you like sweets?” You shrugged, watching him with as cool of an expression as you could muster. “On occasion, yes. I got my favorites. You like strawberry things right?” His eyes widened, lighting up with pure joy as he stepped closer. “So you pay attention to us too?” The charming smile on his lips disarmed you, finding yourself even more flustered. “Has anyone told you that you’re just unbelievably too pretty?” He laughed while you were gawking, a hand now covering your mouth at your outburst. Oh this felt dangerous. “Maybe. I could say the same about you though Angel.” He brought a hand to the small of your back, guiding you inside. Oh hell, you were speechless. It took every ounce of brain function to take in your surroundings, what you thought was a simple cafe was a bakery of sorts, but there were tables filled with all sorts of people eating lunch and sweets or just enjoying a coffee. Simple things like sandwiches, cakes, melon bread and more. Despite the busyness, it still had a homey feel to it with the decor, the staff, and just the general vibe. There was nothing you could give your full focus to that would keep you distracted from Seonghwa standing next to you, his hand on your back a constant reminder as well. This felt too cozy, he felt too comfortable with you. And after what had happened the last time you saw him? After what happened yesterday? You felt too charged up and vulnerable and he was just seeping into you through the cracks.

“What would you like?” He dipped into your field of view, expression friendly, almost innocent with the wide glossy eyes and sweet smile, a stark contrast to the outfit he wore that oozed sexiness. It caught you off guard, you had never seen him with such an… open expression in your presence before. “Um… surprise me?” As if you could focus on food anyways. Your nerves lit up in all sorts of ways.

He whistled appreciatively, nodding with enthusiasm as he quickly rattled an order off that, to your own ears, sounded like something you would order. His earlier words came rushing back: So you pay attention to us too?

The breakfast order that had been on your desk before. The notice when you had been late. You had chalked it all up to San but didn’t Yeosang scold Wooyoung to get you food you liked? Why did what you like to eat matter to these men? That wasn’t something you needed to pay attention to if you distrusted someone, if you wanted to keep them at bay.

But didn’t you also know Seonghwa liked strawberry things? That he admired his Captain and that it was probably more than a work relationship? You knew how San took his coffee, knew Yeosang was a genius with computers and that he had a cute lisp that always brought a smile to your face.

The more and more you thought of it, the more your face dropped, eyes widening. Seonghwa’s hold suddenly tightened on you, his free hand coming up to cup your jaw and force you to face him. “You know, sometimes it’s easy to read you like an open book. Does it frighten you that we pay such close attention to you?” You shook your head slowly, answering without even thinking about it. It was true, you weren’t scared at all by the attention: but by how much you liked it.

What if this ends up like S.K all over? You fall for one or a few of them, and then once you no longer fit their way of things, they would just toss you aside like Chan did? Panic swiftly washed over Seonghwa’s visage as he began to dab at the tears gathering in your lashes. “Angel. Angel, it's okay. This isn’t a bad talk. I’m not chasing you away or putting down boundaries. Not trying to scare you.” How soft he was being just had your throat tight with the need to sob. “I’m going to… find a seat.” You mumbled under your breath, afraid to speak up more as you turned and searched for a table. There were really only two, both right next to each other, and you sat at the one against the wall, facing the wall so that the rest of the crowd would not be able to see it if you broke. What the fuck was wrong with you? Had the week away from the others fucked with your brain? Deteriorated your walls to keep them at bay? You couldn’t trust them.

Right?

Or was it just the fear that if you did, you would get hurt again?

You couldn’t believe yourself. You weren’t afraid to get shot, stabbed, run over by a car if you had to do so for your goals. Your career had always been the focus of your life, following in your father’s footsteps. He was forced to retire after getting severely injured stopping a serial killer, now a retired detective who climbed up the ranks before recently retiring. Detective work had been his life, and by extension, yours. That was who you were, who you pride yourself on being. A damned good detective, an enforcer of justice and protecting the innocent at the cost of your own life. So why the fuck were you about to sob in the middle of a lunch rush in an unfamiliar cafe just because you realized this unit was worming their way into your heart, and it was beginning to seem mutual. Why the fuck did it scare you to get close? Chan couldn’t have fucked you up this badly? Was it the betrayal of them all? Your loyalty should be to the job, not the unit. But did that make you like Chan? Loyal to the job, not your emotions.

Everything was so messed up. The tray of food and drinks getting set down in front of you startled you, gaze flashing up to meet Seonghwa’s concern. His brow scrunched together further at the look on your face. “We have a lot to talk about it seems.” “I- Vice what is this talk about?” Work. Just focus on work. “Well, you mostly. How you’re adjusting to the unit. To everything that’s happened. I know a lot of what happened is not… normal. And we haven’t been treating you right either.” He handed you the drink and sandwich, then set his in front of him. Immediately he started sipping on the strawberry drink, some of the whipped cream smearing on his upper lip. Once more you were thrown for a loop. “I don’t- fuck is this a wellness check? Does my well-being really matter here?” Seonghwa nodded without hesitation, long tongue flicking out to clean up the cream, the glint of the piercing short-circuiting your thoughts. Oh fuck, him too? “It does matter. And not just because of the job. You want to be a part of this unit right? You want the respect, the trust, the bond we have?” His lips curved into a wry smile, watching you for a moment before he leaned forward, reaching out to cup your cheek. Your emotions, your desire for what he said must be so obvious on your features. “Angel… has anyone made you feel like you belong before?” It shattered you, his words.

There were times you thought you had it, but did you? Chan? No, he chose the unit, the rules. Minho had even scolded you many times, backing up Chan, becoming a second voice to him as opposed to as your best friend. Hyunjin might have that spot, and truthfully he felt like the only one who loved you as you were. Unconditionally. But even he had said that he wasn’t right to be by your side, saying you belong elsewhere, somewhere more. Seonghwa swiped your tears away. “We’ve been so cruel to you haven’t we? And yet you’ve been fighting tooth and nail to prove yourself to us. You fit well in your undercover work, you fit well with us. Wooyoung sings your praises daily, and Yeosang’s reports only have good things to say about your work. You work so hard Angel.”

His words felt like a warm, comforting blanket that encompassed you but also shook you to your core. You could remember so clearly getting accepted into the police academy, graduating at the top of your class and immediately rising through the ranks as a uniform. And in all of those moments had your father been proud? No, he just expected you to do these things. Your mother harking you whenever you had troubles “If you had been a boy, you’d be better at your job. You’d be more like your father.” Had you ever made them proud? You had blossomed under the praise Chan gave you when you first started, doing everything to seek it out. Until you realized how unjust some of the cases were. Then most. And his praise usually was followed with a scolding. And it resonated with you. Those kids, those cases, facing unjust rules that they couldn’t do anything about. Like you. Hadn’t Yeosang said that before? You had everything to prove, and nothing to lose. “Seonghwa…” Your voice croaked as you leaned into his hand, staring up at him with a new found vulnerability that seemed mirror in his sweet brown eyes. “I want to be an equal. I do want to belong.” He smiled softly, stood up, and leaned over to press a kiss to your temple. “Alright Angel, I hear you loud and clear. Now, tell me honestly how you feel.” He sat back down and pushed the sandwich closer. “After you eat and catch a breath. The questions are mostly about the… sexual encounters and tension so I want you prepared.” Heat flooded your cheeks, but you nodded and listened. You had, for the most part, been going with the flow of things, refusing to talk about the underlying emotions because, as he just pointed out, you had been too busy trying to prove something. To prove your worth. Was it actually possible that they really did see it? That some of them did at least, and that the others might?

Were you actually seen, accepted, and equal? He was nice enough to let you sit with your thoughts as you ate, focusing on his own food and watching for your reaction to your first bite. You saw the relief flood his features when you clearly liked it, swallowing and smiling softly. Seonghwa seemed as eager to please as you were, it seemed. The meal quickly calmed your nerves, getting comfortable with the realizations he had come to, and making more as you did. That’s why Yunho’s vulnerability had meant so much to you, while Wooyoung’s honest desire slipped past your walls so easily, and why you could understand their apprehension of you so well.

Even, you dare say, sympathizing with Jongho. He had his reasons, you were sure, and you knew just how hard it was to trust after being hurt.

Now the sex- that was the topic of discussion once you swallowed the last bite and Seonghwa was now returning with a second strawberry drink, with impossibly more whipped cream. It was cute, until his tongue flicked out and scooped up a generous amount. His tongue was long, and considering what was about to be discussed, had you thinking some questionable thoughts about it.

“So, let me make sure I know everything that has happened so far- and please, do not get upset that I know about these things, I’ll explain that alright?” You nodded as he squared up his shoulders, the professional aura surrounding him showing how serious this conversation was, but there was no judgment, nothing alarming about his posture either. You mirrored his posture, knowing that yes, this is a serious thing. It was sex in the workplace, and, if you were being honest, it was more than that. “It started with the club, which technically you did amazing with, but I can’t say that your shared kisses with Yunho and Mingi were just a part of your cover. They don’t see it as just a kiss, which I’m sure you’re aware of by now considering what happened with Mingi. There is also, from my understanding, what happened in the gym? Which… San should’ve been honest that we have security cameras in there that Yeosang has access to.” Your cheeks burned at the idea that Yeosang had seen what San did to you, but it also was relaxing to know it wasn’t San who spilled. That did bring up the urge to talk to Yeosang about it, apparently he really liked to watch you get off? That didn’t necessarily upset you either. “When was it brought up? What happened in the gym?” “When Mingi came in sporting hickies. He didn’t have any targets scheduled for the weekend so we had to question. As you know, any connections have to be known to the rest of us. And it’s not just because of our work. Wooyoung’s hinted at it, you’ve had a few glimpses as well… We have something that… that a majority of people would consider wrong or disgusting, but I don’t think you would. This isn’t like an offer for you either, but so you can understand what you might be getting into.” He continued, brow furrowed as he seemed to search for the right words. Especially since you were now smiling at it seemed to throw him off. “It’s a polycule right? Or well, of sorts. I sort of figured it out, though I had never known about it beforehand. Yunho sort of explained last night but I learned the term from some of Haru’s girl’s. They like to yap my ear off since I apparently have Haru’s approval.” He sighed with relief. “Yes, that’s pretty much it. Sex is a casual thing between us, though not all of us sleep with all the rest. I think Wooyoung would be the only one?” You laughed at that. “Oh I can see that. I swear he didn’t turn the camera off on purpose.” You pointed out and Seonghwa’s smile turned pained. “Yeah, probably not. He enjoys being watched, and you… well he wants you to be one of us. Has been set on it since the beginning. And no matter how much of a little shit he can be, he’s got the best damn judge of character, and we all trust it wholeheartedly. Plus…” Now it was his turn to get flustered, the tips of his ears red. “He knows us well.” With a tilt of your head, you urged him to continue. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well… he left the camera on not just for himself, but because he knew we wanted you. We want you. The only one I can’t speak for is Jongho but, Angel, being equal and part of our bond would mean being a part of what we have, and while most of us want that, we would never force it on you. It can be just sex and work for now, or whatever you need it to be. Just on one condition?” For the most part, you were shell shocked. He said it wasn’t an offer but it was clearly there, to an extent. But he was also emphasizing that there was no pressure to be a part of it. “What’s the catch?” “No matter how deep you get, I need you to talk to me about things. If it ends up being too much, if you have doubts, if you’re struggling with others. My job in the unit and in the polycule, is to take care of everyone else. To keep the peace, and help resolve conflict. Can you do that for me? Can you trust me enough for that?” You mulled over his words, staring him down as he now fidgeted with his hands, barely noticeable if you weren’t looking for some tell that this was a lie- but that tell was simply that he was nervous, maybe even a little scared. Scared you wouldn’t trust him.

“I trust you Seonghwa. And I agree to your terms. Thank you for trusting me with this.” You reached over and placed a comforting hand over his, watching him visibly relax. Mentally, you were cursing yourself, scared this was going to end just like it did last time: trusting people, thinking you belong. It was too late to turn back though, wasn’t it?

Taglist (Capped): @mingsolo | @wowie-hockey | @crispybaguettes | @tiny-apocalypse

Taglist will be continued in a reblog!!

#pirateeznet #mirohsaurorasociety #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez ot8 #ateez smut #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic series #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #poly ateez x reader

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