#the last one might be a little spoilery idk

[griddlebait]

do you have a sckl griddlehark playlist 👉👈

i do! i haven’t made it public because some of the songs are maybe a bit spoilery but i’ll share a few that don’t give too much away:

tonight, tonight - the smashing pumpkins

you & me song - the wannadies

the promise - when in rome

brown eyes - red house painters

i wanna be your dog - mephisto walz

[spaceorphan18]

I just need to get some feeling things off my chest - because it's in my thoughts and I feel like I'm stuck unless I express it - you know?

Anyway, I'm putting it all under a cut because A) It's XMen 97 speculation and might be spoilery? there are no spoilers but I don't want to run anyone else's fun, B) I'll be talking about Beau DeMayo, and C) lord help me, I'm bringing up Rogneto

Okay - I want to talk about this first. I read this last night and it made me throw up in my mouth a little. And my ultimate first reaction was that I was glad he was fired.

Honestly, I've been worried that we're headed on an AoA direction for a while now, and even though I actually am fine with the AoA comics, I just do not want it here. The thing, though, is that AoA was always meant to be undone - so if he had had his way and this was Season 3 out of 5, the idea of that doesn't bother me so much.

Granted (logically) - the fact that he's outright saying this when he's been so cryptic about everything else means that it wasn't ever on the table. Still - the guy is just a hardcore Magneto fan. I wouldn't be surprised if the (one) reason the triangle thing even happened is that he does/did like the idea of Rogneto.

Ultimately, to each their own - ship what you like. But doesn't mean I would enjoy that scenario.

x

Then there's this.

There's another post where he talks about using a Star Trek Next Gen episode for homework. And it's one where they're stuck in a time loop.

And it had me thinking that Rogue will get a chance to go back in time and at least tell Remy how she feels. She'll get some closure. Which is -- good for her, and I want her to not be in pain anymore.

But kinda sucks, because closure is closure, you know? And maybe dead is dead?

x

It's so funny because emotionally - my senses tell me that Gambit's story really is done. And that just makes me so sad to think about. They really did the thing and the door is closed and what next, we all move on and be happy? *sigh*

But then there's the logical part of me that kicks in. The one who has been to dark places with fandoms (and even this one) before. The one who knows that even Jean and Morph have been dead before and have come back. The one who knows that every time a comic book writer ends their tenure on a book there's always something the next writer will inevitably retcon.

There's no way - with all the experiences I've had with these mediums that Gambit stays dead. It's still a comic book world. And dead is dead just doesn't happen.

x

Also, in the while I'm thinking about it category -

Last week ole Beau teased a 'I can feel you' hint. I really think this was referring to when Rogue wakes up from her coma. She was dreaming that she could feel Remy. I'm kind of surprised I haven't seen that speculation though.

x

So, idk - I try not to spend a whole lot of time on Twitter, and this guy is ultimately fired and doesn't control direction on the show. And there's still the comics where everything is actually going pretty well. So. I really should be normal about a cartoon.

OOff.

x

ETA: I forgot I was going to mention the Grant Morrison influence.

If you pick up any trade of Morrison's run, he shares his outline of his original plans for New X-Men, and one of them was that he'd kill off Gambit to further Rogue's story. Now - Marvel was like, nope, Claremont wants to use them, so Morrison was denied. (And thank god, Claremont's XTreme run had some of the best Rogue/Gambit stuff in years.)

But I can't help but think that DeMayo may have been playing a little from that playbook. New X-Men has definitely been an influence on the show - from E is for Extinction to the psychic affair between Scott/Jean/Maddie. It wouldn't put it past me that the original Morrison outline that mentions killing Gambit off wasn't a least a little bit of an influence.

[stripedtabbycat]

gravity falls thoughts of the week: i've been joking about ford not knowing what's okay or safe to let children do in the past few episodes but that kind of becomes less funny in the show in "dipper and mabel vs. the future", when we see that these missions he's taking dipper along on are actually putting this kid in danger. sure he manages to survive and get them out of the danger but it's kind of concerning that ford's takeaway from this is "see, you can handle it!" and not "maybe i shouldn't invite this 12-going-on-13-year-old to be my apprentice in highly dangerous field research"

but dipper, of course, doesn't realize this because he's a kid getting to do cool stuff with an adult who respects his intelligence and doesn't treat him like a kid, even though that's the problem. this final string of episodes does a good job highlighting the theme of dipper wanting to grow up too fast and mabel wanting to stay a kid forever and how neither of those are realistic approaches, even though most of the time this isn't a show terribly concerned with realism.

(kind of wild to me thinking about it now that there were a lot of fans at the time who genuinely thought dipper was giving up a great opportunity by choosing not to take ford up on his apprenticeship offer by the end. i guess that's the difference between watching kids' shows when you're closer to the age of the main characters and watching them when you're a lot older than the characters. on most shows i wouldn't worry too much over questions like "are these kids who go on fun adventures that appeal to the target demographic who like to imagine getting to do cool things Literal Child Soldiers?" but here the point clearly is that kids shouldn't have a full-time job instead of going to school and having a normal childhood and adolescence, and also more broadly that the adult in this situation is projecting his own issues onto the kids and does not actually know what's best for them. idk i think it's pretty obvious!)

on mabel's side of (not) coping with things, there's a lot to say about mabeland and what it represents. when i first watched this i was a little disappointed that they didn't make the inside of the bubble a perfect recreation of gravity falls with mabel living out her endless summer by pretending nothing's changed, complete with eerie fake replicas of her friends and family, and instead went full fantasy land...but i did ultimately like where they ended up going with it. i like the implication that mabel doesn't actually have fake versions of the other characters there because she's waiting for the real ones to show up so they can be together (or at least that's my headcanon. dippy fresh might count but he's just the "backup" there to agree with mabel when the real dipper inevitably goes against her plans.) i like that bill isn't too concerned about the others getting inside the bubble because it's designed to keep you trapped there by giving you whatever you want, plus it's an obvious "safe" place in the middle of all the chaos outside. i should probably make a separate post for this because i realized while thinking about this episode that i have a lot of thoughts on mabeland and how the bubble works. (originally the title for part 2 was going to be "escape from mabeland" but the crew thought it was too spoilery or would set up a different expectation from the fans, so it became "escape from reality" instead. which is technically the opposite of what the original title meant but it's still accurate because that's what mabeland is! she's trying to escape from reality!)

final thoughts were that a lot of people thought the conflicts were resolved too quickly in these last few episodes but i'm forgiving of it because they are working with limited time for these episodes here and it is still a kids' show. also the long hiatuses between episodes kind of messed with the fandom's sense of time back when they were first airing. i feel like there was so much fanart of the characters becoming hardened post-apocalyptic warriors during this era but the actual apocalypse in the show's time lasts for like, a week. maybe less.

anyway, watching the finale tonight and then i'll reread my copy of journal 3, and finally read the lost legends comics which just came in from the library, and then hopefully get on the long waitlist for the book of bill, aaaaaand then i'll be done and can go back to watching shows that aren't for kids. well i'll do that after running through over the garden wall one last time, it is the tenth anniversary after all.

[themarydragon]

Trouble the Water Continuation

It will be AWHILE before I have anything written, as I am still working to finish my first playthrough, I have a lot of things happening in my life, I am 75% done with the first draft of the first book of my own original world, and my only coherent thought about TOTK right now is SUFFERING 

but

Issues and contemplations below the cut. Some reference to TotK in the fifth paragraph that is spoilery. I tried not to make it explicit, but you have been warned.

First, IDK if you caught it, but the very last chunk of Chapter 2 in Born a Storm talked about sages. Let the record show, I posted that in June of 2020. I have a lot more I had planned for Born a Storm, and stopped writing it due to completely unrelated (cough cough Covid cough cough Loved and Lost) issues. Also, I realized if I was going to turn it into a complete work, like I kinda wanted to, I was either going to have to take it down, or somehow move chapters around as I went and I never actually decided how I wanted to manage that. I am still undecided, and I have to make that decision before my brain will allow me to work on totk in that universe. THE POINT, though, is I thought of a way to tie in sages (just a hundred years too early) that would be satisfying for me to write and not contradict TotK.

Second, SO FAR nothing I’ve found in TotK has completely screwed up my Trouble the Water [TtK] storyline. I’m not FINISHED yet, so that might change, but it really looks like the TotK worldstate is more or less compatible with where I left off in The Quiet River Rages [tQRR] with just a very little bit of handwaving.

Third, YOU CAN’T JUST GIVE ME THIS ANGST AND EXPECT ME NOT TO RUN WITH IT. 

Fourth, I feel like I have all the jumping-off points already loaded into the existing work. For example, tQRR, Chapter 5:  “I would have waited millennia if that’s what it took to get you back. Link, I chose-” Or Zelda’s gentle commune with the sword from Chapter 12 of CWRD.

Fifth, I want to write two parts. One is [spoilers] Zelda’s POV from-then-until-now just like Remember the Spring, and with the same flavor (and for the same reason). Again, I haven’t FINISHED it, but the Master Sword IS sentient and DOES talk to her, canonically, so it’s NOT EXACTLY ALONE and I don’t think forgetting was allowed, not entirely. The final Tear, which is NOT ancient, but rather we witness being shed, indicates possession of Sense of Self or at least Memory that I am definitely going to run with because angst. The other part is Our Boy desperately searching, finding Tears, and reflecting on how F’d up it is, given Zelda’s canonical parental history (her mother, then Rhoam). I don’t know yet exactly what I will include or exclude, but I’ve been in this place before and I know I have to write about it eventually. 

Last, if anybody expected me - ME - to see an amputee kilted tattoo’d protagonist and leave that shit alone, you got another thought coming. My husband has had some REALLY great insight into some of the cinematic moments (Link’s pause before taking Zelda’s hand for the Reverse Time ability) that I think deserve some love.

[cacodaemonia]

For the DVD Commentary meme. Is it a meme? The DVD thingy! XD

He's vaguely aware of Boil shifting closer to him, and after a moment, Boil says, "Did you lose a... a batchmate a few months ago? CT... 0327?"

and through the entire ending because WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It's so good!!!

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

TTUTT

⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚⊹

Hiii! Haha idk if those are memes, though maybe they fit the definition because they get passed around? 🤔 Anyway—ahh thanks so much! I'm so glad you like the ending of that fic! I think it's the only fic ending I've ever written where I felt like, "Yeah, nailed it" XD

Okay, I'm gonna put it behind a cut since it's kiiiind of majorly spoilery XD

First of all, I had initially thought of ending this with the same sort of reunion, but Waxer and Casey would have already gotten in touch via messages beforehand. But one of the really key things I wanted to deal with in this fic was Waxer accepting that even if he never got his memories back and never found his batchmates again, he was still a whole person and not just the remnants of one.

I thought that it would help him come to terms with that if Trapper and his batchmate were to reunite while Waxer still hadn't heard from his. And for the sake of brevity as well as hopefully making the whole ending surprise pack more of a punch, I decided to combine it all and have Waxer and Casey's reunion at the last moment. 🥹

Let's see, I'm reading through this again, and there's the thing I did with the parentheses. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but each time Waxer's inner thoughts refer to 'the other clone,' the parentheses that follow it become less questioning and more certain—like, they go from (Casey??) to (Casey?) to (Casey) to (Casey) before the () just disappear entirely. Because Waxer isn't doing a whole lot of coherent thinking here and because I wanted the moment to seem like it was going by very quickly, I used the parentheses to try and show Waxer processing the shock without being overly wordy.

The only other 'behind the scenes' bit I can think of is related to Casey's tattoo, which isn't actually mentioned in this part but just before it. He has to vertical lines like tally makes on one cheek—one for Waxer and one for Harper, their other batchmate who is dead at this point. I didn't feel the need to explain those in the fic but I thought that might serve as a little hint for readers because of the tally marks on Waxer's helmet and spaulder in canon. :D

Thanks! That was fun!

[feuqueerfire]

June 2023 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows, movies, and shorts I’ve watched or am watching in June 2023, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month: I Go To School Not By Bus and We Are Gamily just cause they’re not as well known.

Ranking

The Devil Judge

Bloodhounds = The Eighth Sense

Our Skyy 2 = From Now On, Showtime! = I Go To School Not By Bus = We Are Gamily

Average Rating: 6.07/10 - D: so low this month

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist:

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

My Name (2021): in some r/kdramarecommendations after finishing the devil judge

Bad Guys (2014): from this r/kdramarecommendations for heroes and villains who are both crazy

Bloodhounds (2023): It just released today (dropped all episodes on Netflix) and people are saying it has good action + fun bromance and is enjoyable, so I’ll watch it

Addicted Heroin (2016): idk it’s just one of the early BLs (from China no less, though there’s no proper ending I’m pretty sure) and people say there SA and isn’t healthy, so I’ll watch it when I’m in that mood 

Some More (2018): I finished watching I Go To School Not By Bus and searched up tiktoks for it and kept coming across ones for this instead. I suppose it’s a trade-off; watch one short, add another. though i did have this on my radar already since it’s by Strongberry.

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 54

To Watch List At End Of Month: 49

Removed from To Watch List:

Removing these on June 30 because now that I’m getting into kpop as well, my interest in watching dramas isn’t as high and I know I’m probably not gonna get to these. 

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us (2022) - if I watch it, I might like it but I probably won’t end up watching

GAP (2022) - man I was really looking forward to this but ik people say it’s overdramatic and messy by the end and I don’t feel like it

Merry Queer (2022) - this has been on the list for a while but I always just skip it lol

Rak Diao (2022) - I almost started this multiple times but never ended up actually watching it, so I probably just won’t

Watching On-Air

Our Skyy 2 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Apr 19, 2023 - June 8, 2023

Watch Via: GMMTV YT (free)

Watch Dates: Apr 22 - June 8, 2023

Rating: 6/10 [based on (6.5 + 5.5 + 6 + 5.5 + 6.5 + 6.5 + 6.5)/7 NLMG = MSP = BBSxATOTS > Eclipse > SIMM = Vice Versa]

Bad Buddy: Cute and fun and I love PatPran, so I wish there was a bit more of them than there actually was. It got boring toward the middle when they were separated and kept getting lost in the forest but I like them so much and also the tidbits of InkPa were great.

ATOTS: I do not care about these people. [6.5/10 for the last 2 weeks]

tags: our skyy 2, bad buddy

Also Appears In: Our Skyy 2 Live Blogging, April 2023 Wrap-Up, May 2023 Wrap-Up

Completely Watched

The Devil Judge (2021)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jul 3, 2021 - Aug 22, 2021

Watch Via: Viki (free)

Watch Dates: June 1 - 5, 2023

Rating: 7.5/10 7/10  [Jan 25, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating my top shows: 7.5 -> 7]

Overall Impression: Cool concept with the live court, I liked how it played with the viewers and the in-show audience. Ji Sung was a great actor to play Yohan, he's beautiful, he's charming, he's intimidating, he can play both arrogant and cute. Seonah my beloved, she was so clever and cunning and forward thinking and fearless, yet with hints of loneliness and care for young girls, she was a great villain ah <3 Gaon was fine to be honest, I think people were frustrated by him but I felt like his inability to trust Yohan made sense considering Yohan's a sick bastard and people who he trusted more distrust Yohan. I wish the girls Judge Oh and Suhyeon were given more depth and utility because they were very flat characters who had some usage sometimes but were often just out of the loop and had little impact on the narrative. Seonah x Yohan sicko dynamic is so good I love it so much. Suhyeon x Gaon could have really been bodyguard gf x princess bf but alas, they had like a day together after kissing lol. Yohan and Gaon were so homoerotic, like wow no kiss. I loved Yohan, Elijah, and Gaon so much. I'm heartbroken that in the end, Gaon is all alone without these 2, with a dead best friend and a traitor of a mentor being a judge in a system that's just as corrupt.

tags: the devil judge

Live Blogging: The Devil Judge Live Blogging

Bloodhounds

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jun 9, 2023

Watch Via: Netflix, so :>

Watch Dates: June 10 - 13, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: Good enough, especially the heart of episode 6 but not something I'll be thinking about at all. The characters didn't resonate a whole lot, this focused a lot on just fighting scenes (more than like strategizing, being clever, etc, which is usually what I'm a fan of), the defeat of the villains wasn't really satisfying at all - especially with how cruel episode 6 went down. Also, I don’t ship Geonwoo and Woojin, sadly.

tags: bloodhounds

Live Blogging: Bloodhounds Live Blogging

From Now On, Showtime!

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Apr 23, 2022 - Jun 12, 2022

Watch Via: Viki (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: June 14 - 18, 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Funny and comedic with likable characters (even rancid characters like Yeji were charming to me). Nothing too deep, though it had some touching moments. Too much dramatic romance in the second half, I don't care about their royal/shaman past life tragedy and I think that made it kinda meh for me in the latter half.

tags: from now on showtime

Live Blogging: From Now On Showtime Live Blogging

The Eighth Sense

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 29, 2023 - Apr 26, 2023

Watch Via: Viki (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: June 20 - 22, 2023

Rating: 6.5/10

Overall Impression: It was interesting and I think the show had a good grasp on characters and relationship dynamics and progression. I liked that there were friendships each character had and that they existed outside of just this relationship; even some of the friends existed outside of just being a friend, like Yonnwon was a whole human. The female friends were great, Yoonwon is a treasure and I liked how Aeri was so sweet but so mean sometimes, a very clever city girl type. Also, the tension and cute moments between Jihyun and Jaewon (esp in ep 6 and 10) were great. I think it's a good show that's done well but right now, it's not taking up much brain space and it also didn't make me viscerally feel anything.

tags: the eighth sense

Live Blogging: The Eighth Sense Live Blogging

I Go to School Not by Bus

Country: Hong Kong

Release Dates: 2015

Watch Via: GagaOolala (free)

Watch Dates: June 24, 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Man, I came across this short because of this tiktok of the bathroom kiss which haunted me, such a good edit, but the actual scene T.T This reminds me of Your Name Engraved Herein with the school boys who are plagued by homophobia at school, though interestingly, one of the characters was out to everybody from the beginning here. The homophobic teachers and the weird shouty fangirls who outed them and obsessed over them were sooo dislikeable and took up too much time in this 35-minute video. It was cute, it was sad, it had the indie vibes that so many of these queer shorts have. The ending wasn’t necessarily happy but it wasn’t tragic, at least - though I feel like that specific scene was lower quality than the rest of the show in terms of production and acting.

Well fuck, I accidentally got into watching Boys Love Boys Planet podcast recap of all 12 episodes, then didn’t know the group at all but kinda felt like I did, then ended up actually watching some content and now I’ve reblogged 2 things, have been going through the reddit r/zerobaseone posts from the beginning (since it started just 2 months ago), am watching content, started my content index, the whole thing bruh. So my watching is gonna take a huge hit I can tell + my dreams of starting to read books again is a wisp now

We Are Gamily (2017)

Country: Taiwan

Release Dates: Jul 1, 2017

Watch Via: Youtube ;> 

Watch Dates: June 28 - 30 2023

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Another gay-lesbian marriage after Badhaai Do with overbearing family, though this one is mostly mothers. I think the interactions are funny and how certain pairs agree and then agree with the other pair. I think the fact that the mother pretended to have pancreatic cancer which killed their father but nobody called her out on it kinda soured me though, I think I would’ve been even more touched if that wasn’t there. The ending was sweet and touching, though a bit sudden. The romance between the women was a bit too sudden like y’all barely know each other but it kinda feels like the opposite journey as in Badhaai Do where the man got a new bf lol. Anyway, pretty good.

I should prune my MDL to-watch list, especially since I’m gonna be watching stuff less frequently now.

[rosysreadingrefugium]

Review: Nona the Ninth

read from 11 June to 18 June

Okay, so first, damn me for reading an unfinished series. Alecto the Ninth will (hopefully) come out this October and I can barely wait for that.

Second: what the actual hell was that fever dream of a book? Did I love Nona? Of course. Did I know what was going on 99% of the time? No. Did I still enjoy this book? Absolutely!

Basic facts

Title: Nona the Ninth (#3 of the Locked Tomb series)

Author: Tamsyn Muir

Pages: 496

Synopsis: Her city is under siege. The zombies are coming back. And all Nona wants is a birthday party. In many ways, Nona is like other people. She lives with her family, has a job at her local school, and loves walks on the beach and meeting new dogs. But Nona's not like other people. Six months ago she woke up in a stranger's body, and she's afraid she might have to give it back. The whole city is falling to pieces. A monstrous blue sphere hangs on the horizon, ready to tear the planet apart. Blood of Eden forces have surrounded the last Cohort facility and wait for the Emperor Undying to come calling. Their leaders want Nona to be the weapon that will save them from the Nine Houses. Nona would prefer to live an ordinary life with the people she loves, with Pyrrha and Camilla and Palamedes, but she also knows that nothing lasts forever. And each night, Nona dreams of a woman with a skull-painted face...

Review / Rambling (maybe kinda spoilery)

After the fever dream that was Harrow the Ninth, I really did not know what to expect - I certainly did not expect Nona.

In the beginning, I was so confused, who Nona actually was and what was happening. But the worldbuilding and setting were as intriguing as in GtN and HtN - I especially loved the spin of the zombie trope as well as the urban setting. I am not well versed in Science Fiction so I cannot comment on whether the setting was derivative but it certainly was fun to read. Also, necromancers in space. And Noodle. 5 stars for worldbuilding/setting.

The plot was more clearcut than in HtN and it actually made sense. I loved the headings of the parts (5 days until the Tomb opens etc.) because it set up the ending so well. Tamsyn Muir is definitely a fan of "spoiling" the ending but who am I to complain (I am a sucker for this plot structure). Also NtN had one of my favourite tropes of all time: domestic living in a SFF-world/city. I cannot get enough of that trope! I did not particularly like the John-focused chapters - it gave some context to the whole story but the whole climate crisis felt a little too real haha. 4 stars for the plot.

As for characters, I loved, loved, loved Nona. You usually do not have a "child" protagonist in SFF, so it was really refreshing looking through the eyes of one. I loved how she told the story and how she did not really have a clue what was going on 99% of the time (very relatable hehe). I also adore Camilla and Palamedes, so I was happy to see more of them, although not together of course. I liked the family dynamic between Nona, Camilla/Palamedes and Pyrrha. As I have already said, I am a big fan of domestic living in SFF-cities, so that ties in perfectly. Also - Gideon is back (kind of, maybe, idk) and she is as funny as ever (also a bit creepy). Only downside of the book regarding characters: often, I had no idea who these people were because the names were so confusing. Also, Harrow was not there for the most part. 4 stars for characters.

I have seen some people critiquing Tamsyn Muir for not having a consistent tone throughout the series. I actually really loved world. In my opinion, there were a lot of cringey jokes in the first book and although I like Gideon, I am glad that we see different people as narrators. I loved the second book for its mysterious "vibey" writing style. I loved the third book for the child-like writing. The new perspective really helped me with immersing myself more in the book. 4 stars for writing style.

The overall vibes of the book were definitely there and I really enjoyed reading the book. +1 star for overall vibes.

final rating: 5 stars

[mediawhorefics]

hiii marie i watched tsn last night and probably just spammed your notes with tsn rb's (sorry!) and i remembered you were writing the tsn fic! i'm super super excited to read it and i was wondering if there was a snippet you might be able to share with us? thank you <3

omg !! i just saw kjnvjkfds pls know you are welcome to spam my tsn tag whenever you want !!! i always feel like i'm annoying when i go on a tsn reblog spree or a tsn fic related reblog spree rip. (tho it's my blog i guess i can do whatever i want!) anyways i'm glad to know someone is enjoying that tag <333 (LOVED your 'i watch tsn like a queer drama' addition.... so true bestie)

and yes ofc i can share a snippet of the fic !!! no one has really asked before so thank you !! it's so nice to know some people are excited for it. idk how much you know about it? i've talked about it here and there, but basically, it's a you've got mail post canon au where mark gets signed up to a super exclusive mostly anonymous dating app for rich people against his will (dustin and his meddling, honestly!!) and he ends up falling head over heels in love with someone on there only to find out it was eduardo all along (she sings to the tune of agatha all along). anyways it's this very cheesy romcom trope-y story where mark basically has to realise that the only 2 times he's ever been in love were actually with the same person and if he wants to have peace of mind and true happiness he needs to earn eduardo's forgiveness and own up to his mistakes. it's gonna be so kitsch i can't wait to post it !!! it's this 100k monster rn and there's still a fair bit of plot to go on rip. i'm rambling now sorry, i've just been having soooo much fun with it and i don't get a lot of occasions to talk about it haha.

anyways here's a snippet that i thought wasn't tooo spoilery??? hope you'll like it !!! tw i gave them the world worst's usernames because i thought it would be funny af haha. apologies it's still unpolished and needs some edits but:

Mark never particularly liked the cold growing up, but there is always something eerie to him about December silently creeping in without much of a fuss in California. It always seems a little wrong to his New York State grown bones, his Harvard in winter thickened skin. Oh, the temperature drops, for sure, their equivalent of ‘cold’, but Mark recalls Massachusetts freezing winter days, him in his shorts in the snow and a disapproving Wardo staring after him, begging him to please put some clothes on, Mark’s skin prickling under the wind as he ignored him. Winter in Palo Alto is child’s play in comparison, which is the point of living there he supposes. It’s nice, but it’s strange. 

Feels off. 

It feels even more off when he knows he’s not gonna bother going back home for the break this year – like most years, let’s be honest – and get his fill of razor-sharp wind and bone-chilling cold. 

Winter always reminds him of the early days of Facebook; him glued to his laptop day and night in his freezing dorm room, pages and pages and pages of code that weren’t quite a website yet fighting to get out of his brain and onto the screen, and Dustin, Chris and Eduardo, a constant warm presence he was barely aware of hovering at his back. Especially Eduardo. 

And speaking of Eduardo, winter always reminds Mark of him too, despite his best efforts. 

Eduardo, who never liked the cold, not after spending his seminal years in Brazil, then Miami, who always struggled through the sunless, frozen, winter months he spent at Harvard, even though he never wanted to admit it. 

It reminds him of Eduardo’s shivering body that night he approached him with the idea for Facebook, cold cold cold cold, but listening to Mark about his idea outside in the January air all the same, the two of them alone on the cusp of something great. They could have been the only two people on Earth that night in the whipping wind. It’s what it felt like to Mark anyways, what it always felt like to Mark. Them against the world. Before The Phoenix, before Christy, before Sean… 

Wardo would have liked Palo Alto, Mark thinks that December morning as he makes his way to work and a slow melancholy takes hold of him, the way it always does what that kind of thoughts take root in his mind. 

He would have enjoyed the almost perpetual sunshine, the heat, the cool people he would have fit with so easily, the way Mark never could no matter how long he’s lived here… 

Mark sighs, taking a second in his assigned parking spot to compose himself. This stupid Gala he has to attend next week has been messing with his brain ever since Dustin discretely informed him that Eduardo Saverin has confirmed his presence to the event as well. 

And it’s fine. Eduardo can go wherever he likes. Especially when he’s invited. Mark isn’t his keeper or anything. And he’s proven many times in the past that they can be in the same room without yelling at each other. Well, most times anyways. 

But he’s always a little unsettled when he knows Wardo is stateside, the needle of his Eduardo inner compass all over the place, trying to reorient itself when it realizes that Far Far Away is no longer that far. Which is probably why he always feels like his heart is about to explode when they’re in the same room. 

It can’t be regrets, because Mark forbade himself from feeling those a long time ago. 

But it sure is something. 

He still feels a little itchy after a few minutes alone in his car so he gets his phone out, composing a quick text for eswag82. 

Winter always makes me melancholic, he types, something so incredibly soothing about the comfort of an ally, a friend, a confident, never further away than his pocket. Reflective. I start remembering things I never would normally think about. I don’t know if it’s seasonal depression or something, but… I’m always getting sad over nothing. Over stuff I should have been done with a long time ago. But I can’t help myself. It’s like December hits and suddenly… Do you know what I’m talking about? 

Mark sighs as he sends the text: time to face the music. 

The day passes quickly between meetings and coding and important phone calls… He doesn’t have the chance to check his personal texts until late in the afternoon but when he does, miraculously, warmth permeates through the cold of the approaching winter and spreads through him like a sip of burning hot coffee. 

I know exactly what you’re talking about, E writes. Everything slows down in winter, including us. We have the time to get reflective and melancholy. So many holidays in so many cultures too. A time of celebration, of togetherness. That can be challenging when you don’t feel particularly joyful. Or in my family’s case, together. Seeing what it should or could be highlights what it isn’t sometimes, yk? Or at least it’s like that for me.

I’m sorry, Mark writes back, feeling angry again on E’s behalf for that family that doesn’t make him feel welcome, doesn’t make him feel like he can be himself. 

It is what it is. I haven’t gone back home in a while now and this year won’t be any different. Sometimes taking care of yourself looks like neglecting others from an outsider’s perspective, but… I can’t worry about that. 

I’m not going home either this year. I’m busy, which is true, but it’s also… I don’t think I could stomach it. It’s been a while for me too and they’re great, but I still feel like I’m on the outside, yk? Like I’m looking at them through the windows and no matter how much I want to, I can’t go in. 

Mark swallows hard. He swallows back down more feelings of rejection and more fear that no matter what he does it’s never enough to belong. He swallows back down the fact that he created Facebook to be part of the club and he now fears he elevated himself so much higher that he can never fit in anymore. And he doesn’t even like people that much, he’s always said so, but the older he gets the more he feels they can be tedious and still part of his life anyway, that being alone at the top might not be the end goal he’s looking for anymore.

[itsyamajesty]

Okay

Rising Charcoal idea comp the number after 1

A little late cause I was grinding out the new mode, I'm at 1.25% ish and might get a little higher- but also a good chance that I drop asoon as better players hop on

Anyway, just like last time, some of these are pretty likely to be canon, some are just thoughts. Most of these are pretty likely tho

Unlike last time, there is a few that is for sure canon

Not tagging characters because it's nothing detailed or official (apart from the thing that is)

All under cut

• Hollyberry's ghost (or something of the sort) is following around Eternal Sugar. He is the only beast to have communication to their respective Ancient- atleast in modern day. Why is something that is too spoilery to share right now (sure canon)

• Still not saying what the plans for his body are until I get a design I like (have one in my head, but god forbid I draw it apparently), but I will say this. Shadow Milk has no magic anymore. Why is another spoilery thing, but it's probably one of the earliest "plottwists" I'm gonna drop. He is probably gonna have the new worst time dealing with having lost power, cause... Well. Magic was his big thing

• Thoughts on renaming Dark Cacao Kingdom to something more fitting for Affogato and Strawberry Jam. It's the only kingdom that hasn't FALLEN, instead just getting taken over by complete maniacs. Needs a rebrand I probably should've started thinking about sooner-

• Brief mention that Affogato is kinda the official king in control while Strawberry Jam is the right hand man going along. On the flip side, Strawberry Jam is definitely the one who gives less of a shit about their friendship. They still are friends, but there is no question of who would sacrifice the other faster

• Thinking about Eternal Sugar vs Moonlight, with all the dream stuff going on with both. Probably very passive during beginning arc- might only be hinted at- until the night Eternal Sugar plans to start traveling towards the others and cue "I'm watching you.". Gets a lot more aggressive in middle and ending arcs

• Need to do a proper lore read, but the idea is based on how Moonlight is stronger in her dreams (or something like that I believe), so she found a way to interact with the waking world while still dreaming, thus being much stronger. Mostly by causing people to sorta daydream, in a very literal sense (kinda like my Cresselia idea actually lol). It makes her very hard to get rid of, since you can't really kill her dreaming self (atleast it isn't easy anyway). She probably won't bother staying if you push her to leave though, outside of special cases. Again, still have to read all her stuff, but the point is she's corrupted like all the other legendaries (minus Seafoam Pearl) and now she does that

• Thinking of grouping each arc into a general name, being "Ancient's Light" "Beast's Darkness" "Complete Virtue" for the beginning, middle, and ending arcs. Might start doing that for now, but it might stick cause it's pretty easy to tell who I would be talking about (ex. "Passion Arc", "Sloth Arc", "Happiness Arc" for Eternal Sugar's set)

• Final arc is either gonna be Knowledge Arc or something like Unity Arc (idk, something power of friendshippy like that). All the beginning arcs will happen at the same time, and will all technically end when the group is all together. Chance that Shadow Milk won't join the main group until a tiny bit (and I emphasize a tiny bit) into that "Yay we're all together and have very shaky alliances" Arc, thus having a slightly longer beginning arc. Debating on how the middle arcs will go, but I think Sloth, Apathy, and Destruction Arcs will mostly happen switching in-between them, until the end. Then Happiness, Volition, and Change Arcs would happen at the same time. There's problems with that though, but it's hard to get into. After that, Silent Arc, Solidarity Arc, Deceit Arc, Knowledge Arc, ending. With the possibility of some arc(s) in-between the Sugar, Flour, Spice trio and Salt, aswell as before the middle arcs properly begin.

• Current dragon hunter leader wip is Rich Honey Cookie. Idk that's it right now, I'm working on it basically

• Beasts are gonna get their own version of awakened forms, being lucid forms (cause ya'know... still dreaming, but in control). However it is going to take FOREVER to get designs for them because of a funny little plot thing I'm doing. 2 lucid forms have beta designs, and 1 will start production in January or February (maybe, hopefully) (sure canon)

• The lucid forms are permanent changes to the beasts appearances for reasons I cannot explain without spoilers. Though, they will probably get slightly more chill/simplified designs for when out of combat. They actually CAN leave lucid forms, but there are dozens of cons for an eh pro or two, so... (Sure canon)

• Could have been secretive about that, but it's a pattern with all of them, and the first on to get a lucid form is someone I have a design for so it'll be pretty obvious they all get one

• I say that, but by the time I get to posting that (if I do) I'll probably have lucid designs for all 5. Eh, I would've mentioned it at SOME POINT anyway so

• Millennial Tree isn't dead, but practically is. Pomegranate placed a worse curse on him than in OB (I think that's a thing? I still don't play OB). Basically a complete coma that might be permanent/lead to death. Still deciding what Wind Archer is doing with that, but he doesn't take it well, I know that much (again, all legendaries except Seafoam Pearl are corrupted so... You can guess the idea)

• New funny heartbreak ideas I'm not going to say anything about- because guess what spoilers- but DAMN I am so excited to cause fictional pain :D

• Stupider idea: force the Summer Soda Festival cookies to work for BAD 4 (they don't want to, I hightlight FORCE being in universe). Built on the stupider idea of BAD 4 being real in this AU

• Going back on the Strawberry Crepe idea from last comp. They might still work for COD, but I decided that how they were implemented doesn't work out. Idea is that once the Ultimate Cookie gets close to completion (before the Beasts wake up), Dark Enchantress stopped playing around and made sure no one would fuck things up at the finish line (because Silent Salt isn't real and can't fuck things up at the finish line), so all but the most loyal scientists were sent to Crispia, and all routes to Beast-Yeast are shut down or guarded. This means Strawberry Crepe kinda has to hope some miracle happens- cause the safety protocol was out of nowhere for everyone (aka, no way back to BY fast enough). This is also how Silent Salt ends up actually trying to help Elder Faerie. They honestly don't like being evil all that much, but wasn't too into the idea of helping him 80-90%-ish cause "what would the others think?". They tried to leave at one of the ports (DE mostly uses ships to get supplies for the Ultimate Cookie to Beast Yeast- probably makes more sense to be sky ships tho so potential change there), only to see no boats, then learn shortly after that there won't be any ships to Crispia until the Ultimate Cookie is done. Figuring that it probably isn't a good idea to let them finish what is pretty much the ultimate living weapon, Silent Salt begins trying to stop that, and warms up to the idea of saving Elder Faerie along the way. Basically going from "if I find him ALIVE" to "if it's convenient and he's ALIVE" to "he better be alive"

• Also I think it's pretty clear, but just for complete clarification: Elder Faerie is indeed alive. As mentioned previously, what is going on with him for most of Freedom Arc + before will be kept secret (sure canon)

• As technically hinted at, the other Beasts are not fans of Elder Faerie. They are especially not fans of Silent Salt HELPING Elder Faerie. Their exact thoughts on him are undecided, but know they all want him to suffer for keeping them trapped. Unfortunately, Silent Salt is growing the tiniest bit attached (and it would break the trust of all the people they have truces with)

• Also, did I mention Silent Salt has telepathy and mind reading? Cause that's their main thing oops- they can speak to you using telepathy and make it feel like your thinking those things. Like, they could tell you that you should steal a candy bar, and you would think it's your intrusive thoughts, not someone else making you think those things (if that makes sense?) (sure canon)

I repeat, I am tired, sorry if this is unreadable

I think I was gonna say something else, but I'm tired and forgor so

Rember:

• Might do a separate post later, once I remember more potentially. Smoked Cheese being Burning Spice's achilles heel is canon now, for one key reason. In Ch 6, it was pretty highlighted that Burning Spice doesn't care about whether or not he puts the people around him- even in allies- in danger. So making Smoked Cheese dying kill Burning Spice kinda forces him to start giving a shit about it. Works out perfectly

I'm just gonna pull a yap dollar and

T U M B L R !

[qulizalfos]

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE FEAR STREET FIC HELLO I AM HERE. anyway my question is is it just based on one of the movies in the trilogy (like 1994 or whatever else) or is it a combination of all three?

also if this is a spoiler feel free not to answer but....who's getting Possessed

HI OMG THANK YOUU!

the fic is just the first 1994 movie!!! namely because the party are cast according to the paragraph below and ive ran out of time to do any more lmaoo

mikes deena, will's sam, max is kate, lucas is josh, dustin is simon and ive added el as her own character because i fundamentally need her lolll

that said, those are just my baselines! i've given dialogue to other characters and switched it around and sprinkled things across the scene like parmesan cheese, based on the st character and whether or not He Would Fucking Say That. ive had so much fun with that actually!!!

just gonna slip a little answer in for that last part >:))))))) which ranges a bit into spoilery territory? idk. not really but putting it under a cut just in case

the only guy ever (will) Might have a Couple Problems,,,, and might ? maaaayybe get a little bit possessed. for a treat :D but do with that what you will<333,,,,,,,, but let's just say he has bigger worries!! >:)

anyway im being so mean to all of them but yeah will's gonna have A Time and possession does sort of play into that nicely teehee

thank you again for the ask!!!!

[justlikejohn]

i really desperately want to make a little comic series about adachis perspective of the murders in inaba because i think what the writers left out (and implied) is just. SO interesting

long text post and extra EXTRA spoilery so be warned

1) its been brought up before (i think to this clip of a twitch streamer) but adachi is introduced when he runs across the screen to vomit at the sight of a corpse (fair) but like. thats the woman he assaulted a few days ago. its fair for adachi to think “i didnt kill her. but oh fuck, if the police knew that i threw her in a tv, they might suspect me, i might be FRAMED-” and to panic to that end instead. like. “if shes killed herself, or someones kidnapped her, they might think its me.” what is going through his head at that point? i dont think hed associate his actions with the outcome - i dont think hed immediately connect the tv with her death, i think hes too childish for that line of thinking. i bet hes thinking, like, “god, shes gone and gotten herself killed, this is gonna ruin my life..!” i think itd take much more time for adachi to figure out what happened than most people are giving him the credit for. and i COMPLETELY disagree that vomiting in that instance was an act to cover his ass - i dont even think he believes hes in real danger of being suspected at that point. idk i think it was just. brilliant writing. it can be interpreted in SO many ways and its such a small, forgettable part that shows SO much character

2) i think itd be fun to include a few physical bits of evidence against him, too. like, what if when he pushed yamano in, there was a struggle and he got scratched on his neck pretty badly? or, she was resisting so hard, she had dug her fingernails so far into his arm it bled and left scars? i imagine an interaction with dojima that goes along the lines of, like,

dojima: “so. had a girl over last night, adachi?”

and adachi is just shitting himself. like oh fuck oh shit he KNOWS what the fuck do i do so he awkwardly laughs and says “haha.. what do you.. whaddya mean, dojima..?” 

and dojima gestures to adachis collar. cause its done all the way up. and adachi never wears his shirt that formally, so in dojimas eyes, hes thinking “this guy has a love bite, i bet. he thinks hes slick, haha.”

and adachi is still sweating bullets cause beneath his collar are claw marks from his struggle with yamano. clear fingernail marks down the side of his neck where she tried to grab at him. and he hasnt had the time to figure out how make up works yet, but that night he goes to the drug store and gets ANYTHING that will cover up the marks. hes washing foundation off his shirts for weeks. 

and like, as the viewer, youre thinking “he doesnt need to do that; just say it was a cat or something” but thats the POINT! could you imagine to sheer PARANOIA upon murdering somebody?? youre suddenly policing EVERYTHING you do. not to say adachi wasnt aware of his presentation and how people perceived him beforehand, (i bet he did!) but it turns from “how do i play people” to “how do i get away with this” in an instant. and soon, it would turn back into “how do i play people,” but like exploring the mental strain that it would put someone under lol

3) also. this man has a persona. idk if this gets explained in the true ending (forgive me if it does; i missed it by ONE text prompt and my last save file is like 5 hours away from the option lmao) but doesnt that imply that hes accepted his shadow self..? like. THATS why hes like that. so, pessimistic and nihilistic. what was his shadow self like? what was adachi trying to repress? was it bitterness and resentment? perhaps thats why he turned out so angry - he embraced the anger he felt towards to world early on in the game. did his shadow stem from feelings of hopelessness, feelings that he has no meaning and no worth? was it an angry shadow, like yosukes? a bitter shadow, like chies? 

or - to break the pattern - was his shadow guilt-ridden, scared, paranoid? if adachi was trying to display feelings that he was functioning and well, would his shadow instead be all the fear he had tried to repress? what did adachi not want to see in himself? 

either way, he accepted his shadow, and still turned out the way he did. he was committed to his own entertainment to the end. i think thats so interesting - sometimes, you shut down parts of yourself for a reason. thats the whole fuckin POINT of persona 4!

4) im just spitballing here (this was supposed to be a paragraph and ive been writing for 40 minutes) but like. what if adachi was so insane BECAUSE he killed people, not the other way around? sort of kind of accidentally murdering someone in a fit of bitter nice guy rage, then ABSOLUTELY murdering a HIGHSCHOOL GIRL on PURPOSE, then MANIPULATING a mentally ill guy into KIDNAPPING and TRYING TO KILL CHILDREN, HOSPITALISING your besites MOTHERLESS CHILD, etc. like, of course adachi did this all on purpose, but i think its so much fun to explore his mindset! at what point did he decide to commit? how long after yamanos corspe was discovered? how long after he killed saki? because by the time the investigation team is on his ass he is FULLY dedicated to the role. not a shred of doubt. hes rationalised everything by that point. how much of his time did he spend thinking about what hed done vs how much to explain why all of it was justified..?

i think the guilt of all that would really truly fuck someone up. point of no return stuff. adachis not some master puppeteer, hes a snowballing maniac on the hunt for entertainment! i know thats like. the whole point of his character lol. but my point was, i think his actions fed his outlook before his outlook influenced his actions. i think that getting away with serial murders for MONTHS would take a real toll on someones psyche; this is especially applicable to those of us who are unstable enough to try shoving a celebrity in a television in the first place

well this was much longer than expected and turned into me rambling about adachi. hey, at least i stuck to a theme! 😅 maybe one day ill turn all these ideas into a comic of some sort. i love thinking about this guy. he is my blorbo :3c

[three--rings]

Interview with the Vampire Thoughts 1x01

Non-spoilery TL;DR:

It’s an interesting and mostly well-handled adaptation, that will probably appeal to people in the demographic I was in when I originally loved these books.  But despite its appeal I find it lacking something in the emotional dimension.

Sam Reid’s French is decent, at least.  But in referring to the musicians he said “we are always forgotten” rather than, as the subs said “they are always forgotten” and...it’s been a long time since I read the books but was he a musician along with Nicolas?  I can’t quite remember but if so that is a very interesting nod to his past. 

Okay, I’ve finished the ep now.  And gosh, I really don’t know what to say?

It’s a very interesting work of adaptation, and it really makes me want a close breakdown of show-to-book comparison.  It’s been, yunno, 25+ years since I last read IWTV so I really can’t do such a thing with any accuracy. 

But there is SO MUCH changed, from the time period and context of Louis and his family to the modernization of the framing device, etc.  And yet it does have a very accurate feel to it. 

I honestly really like the framing portions.  I would have never called that they would keep the original interview part in the 1970s and then have Daniel 40+ years later meeting with Louis again. 

It’s especially interesting to see Louis in an ultra-modern context cause my brain insists that if the original interview as in the 1970s then all the following novels happened already and Louis is in a later-series context, which is a bizarre ass thought considering like...how WHACK the series gets.  (TBF I don’t have full knowledge of this cause I quit reading after Memnoch because that was my bridge too fucking far.  I don’t even know how she retconned that one later, I just know she did.  In other words later Vampire Chronicles is like fucking comic book levels of wtf.)

Pause here because I went on a shallow dive into later canon and like...WOW.  Once again very glad I quit a fandom when I did.  Seriously y’all, I have really great taste in quitting things.  Every time I find out what happens in later days in a book series or show I’m like, wow good call past me.

ANYWAY.

Louis is rich and has an unnamed (hot) assistant and like I want to know ALL about this, please.  (So long as no ghosts or witches or bird aliens are involved)

(Seriously what IS this show going to do about later canon...I think even stuff from QOTD is fucking too far out there for reasonable people.)

ANYWAY AGAIN

Uh, The changes to Louis are interesting.  I certainly enjoy the change to his race and the way that sorta plays out with his family.  I’m not entirely sure how I feel about him being a slumlord and pimp now? Like that really introduces a level of moral flexibility to his character that might somewhat undermine his whole moral journey?  but IDK. 

The time period change is sorta whatever for me, I’m not sure why its necessary other than that they wanted slavery to be over, but honestly you could have had Louis be a free man of color in New Orleans in the 1810s or 20s with just as much ease.  But you might have had to explain that to Americans with a very simplistic view of history I guess so whatever.

(Lestat’s backstory as a member of the french nobility is a little more difficult though, if the revolution was an entire century before.)

I do very much enjoy the handling of Louis’ orientation and the seduction by Lestat.  It’s fun and believable to the extent it wants to be.

I think I like Jacob Anderson as Louis better than Sam Reid as Lestat.  Like, IDK, I can’t pinpoint what it is I don’t connect with in Lestat yet but it’s something. 

Some scenes definitely take a step (or several) over the line of supernatural fun into full-on camp.  The floating, for example, was unnecessary.  Some of the violence...

IDK I think that ultimately they DO capture the overwrought melodrama of the book(s) fairly well.  But it’s that exact quality that takes this out of the realm of a sincere delight for me, personally.  Like, I am unable to take this show actually seriously on an emotional level, and I’m not sure if that’s the nature of the show itself, because it’s winking at the audience.  Or if it’s because I’m 43 and not 13, or because I was such a big fan of the books at one point...

Like this is fine.  It’s fun and has some vibes and style in places, but I don’t see this becoming something I care deeply about, yunno? 

On the other hand I will be reblogging homoerotic gifsets of my blorbos from when I was 12.  and I’ll keep watching it as a light, guilty-pleasure sort of watch. 

[thequibblah]

Would love directors cut on ch39? Your favorite moments OR Lily tripping in front of James LOL OR the scene Sirius is asking James what he'd do if Lily fancied him back :0 and how he's given up hope - but that might be too spoilery! Idk anything you deign to share I will love! <3___<3

ooOooOoOoOoh i'm gonna give this a reread and pull out any fave moments BUT u best believe we'll address the trip

it is my solemn belief that when a character realises they have feelings for another character, the BEST bit is when they're like OH noONoooOOnoooOOoOOoOOo oh NEOENOOOOOOO and obviously given the baggage it's even funnier when it's lily with james

the first part of this chapter i wrote was after the first section break, with lily in the office, and obviously i had myself a week-long laugh over this:

This pleasant state of tiredness meant she was not worried about how she looked, slumped on the sofa in the Head office with her legs dangling over one armrest, when he came into the room. Well, mostly not worried. For a brief, crazed moment Lily thought, my hair must be frightful. Then she thought, what is wrong with me?

this, to me, is lily realising her feelings in a nutshell. just a whole bucketload of convoluted and contradictory feelings all tangled up together, turning a normally put-together, sensible individual into a disaster. or so, of course, it seems to her, and that's what i love more than anything: when she's like oh my GFDOODOOD OH MY OGODODO he kNWOOWWOOWS and james is like damn . her balance is rly off these days .

anyway not to derail my own town-crier moment

another way this realising-feelings bit is so fun to explore is that i love bringing up things lily notices about james and has a little panic about — except we know she's noticed those things about him forever, and is only just starting to realise why she's been paying attention. the obvious thing is the hand in his hair, but my personal fave james-idiosyncrasies that lily has always been suspiciously attentive to are his restlessness and his way of walking

from ch. 4:

He leaned back, drumming his fingers on the chair’s armrests.

to this in 39:

Nor did she think anything of the funny little squeeze in her chest at the sight of him, splayed across the rug so carelessly, fingers drumming against his thighs as though he simply had to be in motion.

and also from ch. 4 (this is possibly my favourite james description of mine, i am so proud of it):

He always walked the same way, she noticed: hands in his pockets, head tipped back. As if he didn’t need to look where he was going. Tripping was for other people.

from ch. 25:

She could see it in her mind’s eye: James walking down the dark corridor, hands in his pockets, one corner of his mouth tipped into a half-smile.

from ch. 31:

He was standing in that very James way of his, hands in his pockets and chin tipped upwards like he was watching something a little bit higher than everyone else was.

and at last........ in 39:

Lily had already noted how very James he was that evening: hair perplexingly tousled, smile easy and ever-present, hands in pockets.

sidenote: i got some beautiful comments (FROM YOU TOO POSSIBLY????) about people theorising what their experiences with the patronus charm might mean — that lily is making progress because she's being emotionally honest, while james closing himself off is making him struggle. cannot confirm or deny, but it was really fun to read those!!!

oh and another thing: i love weaponising the patronus thing as a way to have them easily and casually compliment each other

“I know it’s difficult for you to cope with things not coming naturally—” He inclined his head to her in concession. “True.” “—but it’s quite normal for spells to require practice, not pure, blind instinct.” “Pure, blind instinct,” he repeated, “like you in Potions?” Lily felt herself flush, and frowned all the more reprovingly.

and they do so even when they're not arguing....

They’d propped each other up in their respective best subjects (“Evans leaves us in the dust in Potions, you know…” “Oh, hardly. That’s James in Transfiguration.”)

...though i'm sure lily would say she was just MAKING A POINT. ok girl

the more i reread the more i think my favourite bits are just. the conversations between them (of which there are a LOT here haha) and the drama i got to shamelessly sneak in.... HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE

now. to the tripping.

it is a truth universally acknowledged that a key moment in any jily fic is when lily realises she actually like.... is into the messing-up-your-hair. (side note, for james himself this is less often a conscious attempt to impress someone [or her, like it is in swm], and more a nervous tic or a thoughtless gesture, like a filler word in an action. he does it a lot in chapter 27, when lily brings up the not-kiss, and also in chapter 21: He ran a hand through his hair. “If you need distracting, over Easter, owl me..." and in 22: He ran a hand through his hair. “Just, you know you can always write me, yeah?” and of course.... in case any of you forgot the latter is the only moment this absolute clown realises he does have feelings for her.)

this is a Deep Moment of Denial in 38, where she lists it off as a moment she was briefly attracted to him in fifth year:

When he had run his hand through his hair in the corridor, and she’d had the misfortune of looking right at him, and had felt, for a moment...distracted.

of course, i was not going to let the poor girl live this down, and the hair had to be a factor in her real, actual realisation. what made this so funny to me was how innocent the gesture is on james's part: they've just been talking about agathangelou, and who might be sneaking out of the castle. when he runs his hand through his hair, he's just...... frustrated.

and even though lily's the one throwing a wry smile at him — which he's crazy about — she's the one who's burned, because he wasn't really looking at her. so it goes, babey!

i am also overfond of the literally-falling-for-you trope, and you best believe it'll happen again! in fact i could probably write like.... five times lily evans "fell" for james potter (and one time she actually did)

wow

i should go do that right now

[rattyarts]

Huge-ask post (I am VERY funny)

Because I have so many questions that can be answered with just text, and I have mentioned my dislike of filling my art blog up with Words Words Words... let’s get them all done in one go!

(You guys can blacklist #rattytalks if you’re just here for the draws, btw)

A shit ton of asks under the cut!

Anonymous said: So for the center of the world, what with it being forcefully PG and all Bad Thoughts TM being prevented, how does having kids happen? Do parents just black out and wake up holding a child in their arms and vague memories of the last 9 months?

Ever seen a movie where they do that “and one day... a baby was born!” thing and a kid just appears offscreen with no explanation?

(This is how it works everywhere, Edgelands included; no one does the do or gets pregnant in this setting.)

Anonymous said: Hello! Quick question, and sorry if you’ve answered this before, but can other elves see the “intangible” bits of one another? Big fan of your work btw!

Nope! And thank you!

Anonymous said: Leopold was in my dream last night but I sadly cannot remember any of it.

I am SO sorry. I will try to keep my stinky murder men out of your head in the future.

Anonymous said: are the floaty bits stuck in one spot, or could the one they are attached to learn to move them around their body as long as its still within a certain distance? like, someone with the Floaty limbs, lets call him Ray, can move his limbs all over his body, allowing him to do all sorts of neat things that others with their attached limbs probably couldn't?

Whatever you want, honestly. As a general rule of thumb I don’t like putting down TOO many hard rules that prevent people from having fun with this setting. (Please ignore and scrap anything you think is stupid, I do this all the time and enjoy keeping this setting inconsistent and contradictory)

Anonymous said: Do elf names work off of Death Note rules, or is it like, if you know one elf’s name, all elves with that name are now unable to harm you? So if all the elf brothers are named Martin, for example, does it only work with blue?

I think it’s prolly just the one! Probably? Idk, might change if I think of something funnier.

Anonymous said: Can elves do magic on themselves or does thst go against the knowing name rule

Most people tend to know their own names, lol. So in my opinion, no, but don’t let me stop you if you got a fun idea.

Anonymous said: Could an Elf stitch on parts from another elf and have them work? i.e an Elf's finds the arm of another Elf. "Hey, free arm, might as well put it to good use", so they attach the arm and now they can give three high fives at once!

Same deal as previous questions, I personally would say no, but I also encourage people to do whatever the hell they want. It’s more fun that way!

Anonymous said: I bet elves are greasy to the touch.

They’re very powdery! Like if you rolled them in flour. And by flour I mean nasty glowing elf dandruff.

Anonymous said: Can elves fly or are their wings just for show?

No flying!!! (Unless you’re a mousefly)

Anonymous said: Something tells me that the elves would LOVE Obatzda.

Had to look that up, but definitely!

no1fan15: Not sure if someone asked already- Does Edgeworld have any equivalent to demons and angels? Like the old rubberhose cartoon kind?

Demons, yes! That’s what imps are: basically any demon, devil, or generic monster, but tiny! Even a couple of pop culture critters in there, there’s probably a very small gillman or robot monster running around there somewhere.

Angels, not so far. 

Anonymous said: How come Margaret hasn't yeeted George's jar into the Edge yet

I’d say being locked in a closet is good enough! (and also I need him for plot reasons, don’t tell anyone)

Anonymous said: If elves have knees bulges in the front then do they have butt bulges in the back?

i do not want to think about elf bulges

Anonymous said: So if you find a baby Therewoof and you say "aw you're so cute", their true name is So Cute?

Yep!

Anonymous said: Since a Therewoof's true name can be something like "cutie pie" or "dingus", does their name have to be spoken with "intent" for it to doggo-fy them? Or do they just have to live with the reality that any casual conversation/flirting can make them lose up to a month to Doggy Mode? My mom has little terrier dog named "Sweetie" so that got me thinking 'bout Therewoof names. & Anonymous said: here's a good question: If someone says a therewoof's true name, but not reffering to them, does it still affect them?

Just saying it will do! It’s based on those old werewolf stories where calling out the person’s name will change them back into a human/cure them, and a lot of the time it was by accident.

(My favorite is the one where they slam the door on the wolf’s tail and then say his name, and the dude ends up with a wolf tail for the rest of his life.)

Anonymous said: Would Seeing eye Therewoofs be a thing?

I... guess? Probably? Since regular dogs can turn into woofs, yeah. You might have to start paying em once they turn into a person tho. 

Anonymous said: Was ChalkZone ever an inspiration for you? Because I just love the silly world of ChalkZone and I noticed getting that same warm feeling when thinking about Edgeworld.

Maaaan, I wish. I’ve only seen about three episodes or so, but it seems really fun!

Anonymous said: So I saw your mimic post, and even though I don't think I've seen any other of your art before I was absolutely HAMMERED with an indescribable sense of slightly unsettling strangeness and comfortable familiarity. Your art feels like something from like, an old point and click computer game I would have had formative memories of before accidentally losing or scratching the disc therefore making me unsure if it ever REALLY existed. Sorry for being weird but I love the wacky nostalgia feel here

Aaaaaah, THANK YOU! That is SUCH a cool comparison and I appreciate!!!

Anonymous said: If the Edgeworld is based on cartoons then is there a Reverse Edge-world that’s based on anime?

Lol, I mean I DID have an anime phase for a while there, so...

caydebug: Man I’d love to see this as a cartoon some day

Honestly, same. Best you’re gonna get is the occasional animatic or gif, tho.

Anonymous said: Does anyone..."go" in Edgeworld? or is it like Pleasantville where bathrooms exist but there are no toilets in them because acknowledging it is yucky?

Oh god I keep getting asked this and have been avoiding it like the damn plague. But... Uh. No. No they do not. I am begging you all not to send any followup questions.

Anonymous said: Have you considered putting computer viruses or illnesses in with the buggymen? Since those are typically called ‘bugs’

Sure!

Anonymous said: are there any limits to what an Animimic could posess? i.e if they were in a costume of a Buggieman with multiple arms, could they control all of them? what about a small Mousefly costume? can multiple fit into one costume like a clown car? and what about in pitch black darkness, where you can only see the lights of their eyes and not their bodies? could one fit inside the pocket of a jacket you are wearing and help you steal things/wield a gun like a living turret?

Since clothing fills into the body type of the intended wearer, they would indeed be able to control all arms/legs in buggieman clothes.

Size restrictions is one of these things I wanna try to be vague about: I personally have been imagining them sticking to hiding in things no smaller than, um. Maybe imp sized, but really, whatever. It’s a cartoon eyeball critter!

You can put multiple animimics in one outfit!

They can move around just fine in darkness without being off screen, yeah!

And sure why not. lol

Anonymous said: I know you have been asked this once before, and you said nah you don't, but with a few more months of worldbuilding, do you have an idea for what could be down the edge now? 🤔

Not really! It’s not super important, honestly. I’d say any fan theory is about as valid as anything else I can come up with.

ps2polpo: I doubt you’ll ever elaborate on The Edge but I like to imagine there’s just one dude there like the Nowhere Man from the Yellow Submarine movie. Mostly cause the thought of someone accidentally winding up there being like “where am I?” And there’s just a guy casually waving at him like a friendly neighbor is funny to me & Anonymous said: The implication that the Edge is the physical manifestation of edginess so there’s probably like, Trevor Henderson monsters hanging out down there.

See above question! Valid! I also accept falling forever, getting erased from existence, ending up in another universe, getting stuck in limbo with thousands of other people, whatever you want, really!

Anonymous said: " he has very few bones and weighs basically nothing, " "Fastball special" trope, but with Leo?

YEET THE NASTY MAN

Anonymous said: did you ever watch dragon tales as a kid? because george and margaret make me think of murderous zak and wheezie from that show, and i love it to bits

I did not, but I would have loved it. Definitely up my alley!

(watched Quest for Camelot a loooot, though!)

Imma go ahead and stop here! There’s more but I’ve been writing for well over an hour and I have things to do. If your question is missing I’m either saving it for later, wasn’t entirely sure how to answer, or it’s spoilery.

Will probably do another one of these at some point!

[trulymadlysydney]

Bestie I have so much to say! First of all I cannot tell you how much I hate Jeremy. Like blatantly lying and saying that he didn’t call Aimee his best friend to florita and telling florita he doesn’t know where she got that from? He’s such a dick I hate him. I feel like every new girl that comes in he’s interested in. It happened with Aimee and it happened again with florita. I want him out! And honestly I’m kind upset with florita for kissing Jeremy too. Like obviously it makes it better that she told korey after the fact but it just still feels… disrespectful to me.

What did you think about what javonny said about Isaiah being sketch? In my opinion I kinda agree with him. Especially when he was talking to cash after her date. He seems like the type of guy who gets jealous really easily either that or he does just suck at communicating. I don’t know if I like him honestly. There’s just something off about him that I can’t figure quite out.

When will talked about the boys needing to pee sitting down I was laughing so hard. And then he was like it protects your prostate like I’ve never heard that before what is this man going on about lmao. I love watching the interactions between the boys bc what’s better than this? Guys bein dudes.

Let’s talk about the new boys! Slade kinda surprised me tbh. He seems very down to earth and chill. Looking at him and Olivia together it makes sense and they do look good together but I love javonny so much and if he got dumped I think I would lose my mind. I have a sneaking feeling she will pick slade at the next recoupling so I’m kinda :( about it ya know.

Dude let me just say… Wes is so hot. Like I know I said I liked him more bc he was from denver but bro he’s so handsome and his smile is dangerous. And obviously Aimee and cash are my two favorite girls and I hate that they’re both interested in the same guy but I think Aimee and Wes are a better match. I mean Wes with either girl would be great but I’m leaning towards Aimee more. They would be an absolute power couple I think. They’re both so good looking my bi ass would lose it lol.

And who do you think is going to be single at the next recoupling? I hate to say it but it might be javonny and I hope to god it’s Jeremy single too but florita is being a little weird tbh. I hope we get to vote between the single guys after the recoupling to save one bc if Jeremy is single I would vote for the other person no matter who it is. Anyway fuck Jeremy all my friends hate Jeremy- E

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY IM FINALLY ALL CAUGHT UP WITH LAST NIGHTS EPISODE AND TONIGHT'S ON PARAMOUNT+ AND... HOOOO BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT IT

Why is this season way more dramatic than the last two? Holy shit everyone is talking shit behind everyone's back, everyone's into everyone else's partner like ?!?! this is insane?

I'm SO over Jeremy and Florita. Florita is snakey af and so is Jeremy. I feel SO sad for Korey dude... like the ONE person he's been into, she goes and does this. And fuck Jeremy for doing this also?

I don't remember if this is from last nights episode or from the one on Paramount+ (so if this is spoilery I apologize) but I wish Aimee wasn't so into Jeremy. Like I get it and I've definitely been in that position and I feel so bad for her but its like GIRL is that really the kind of guy you want to be with? Aimee is slowly becoming my new favorite tbh she deserves to much better. I want Aimee with Wes more than anything in this whole entire world.

(Also can I say something that you're lowkey going to hate me for.... I'm kind of over Cash thinking she's the main character dklfjdskj like I get it and she's still my number one favorite girl but like.... I feel like she thinks that literally everything is a personal attack and that she's the only person who's good at communicating. Which like, she is one of the best communicators but like... idk hopefully you'll know what I mean.)

That being said though, I AGREE, I don't think I trust Isaiah all that much. Trina even said she wasn't a fan of him and I agree. I feel like he's just playing the game, trying to go for the first person that gives him attention. Something is DEFINITELY off. And part of what I think annoyed me with Cash was her conversation with Isaiah when he was like "that's not what I meant" and she was like "but that's what you said" like YALL. This is why two Capricorns should never date.

I LOVE THE NEW BOYS SO MUCH (and I want to say something that was only on the exclusive episode SO bad but I have to save it if you haven't seen it and UGH!)

((IN THE EXCLUSIVE EPISODE A COUPLE WENT TO THE HIDEAWAY AND IT WAS STEAMMMYYY? I WAS LIKE DEADASS ARE THEY ALLOWED TO FUCKING SHOW THIS?))

WILL IS SO CUTE SHUT UP I LOVE HIM SO MUCH and like I know he and Kyra are so predictable and like... safe but like DUDE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

I honestly.... really see Olivia and Javonny sticking it out at this point, and hopefully you get to see the Paramount + episode because you'll see what I mean. Like, they crack each other up. It's a slow burn but it's adorable to watch and I really like their energies together.

Random question, and idk if you'll have the answer, but do you know if we're getting Casa Amor this season?? Cause I think that would be insane to throw into the mix lolol

[inumaqi]

top ten tagged by @linkspooky 🍊 explanations under the cut! sorry for rambling xo → rules: name your top ten favourite characters from ten different fandoms, and then tag ten people - @osomanga @kara-suno @anonimarevolts @zeninmaki @wildbishonen @shysheeperz @tkmewthyou @kaldurlenn @joxterism @marshmallowdonutsprinkles

snufkin okay so he’s the only one not from an anime or manga but i had to put him on bc he’s the most important fictional character to me, ever. i grew up watching the moomin cartoons in the 90s and thinking about it instantly calms me down - they used to air the episodes early in the morning when it would still be dark outside: the landscapes were moody and cosy, the characters were so softly spoken and articulate... it’s just peak nostalgia. anyway, snufkin is moomin’s best friend; he returns to moominvalley every year to be with his friends during the spring and says his goodbyes to go adventure again come winter. it upsets moomin when he leaves but snufkin is adamant that quiet and solitude are important and healthy, and it’s not fair to expect him to compromise on his independence - that made a really big impact on me as a kid, especially as someone who never really had their ‘own’ space (twinsies). relationships aren’t weakened by physical distance or time, they’re about communication and understanding. that was important too. i don’t think i realised just how influential it had been until i was an adult but snufkin is an anarchist. he first shows up in the comics when moomin and sniff are talking about opening a bank - he tells them they should plant fruit trees instead. he destroys private property and rescues orphans, he refuses to participate in things that don’t bring him joy. when he’s asked where home is, he replies, “nowhere. or everywhere! it depends how you look at it” - the whole world belongs to him, and the whole world belongs to everyone else too.

yomo renji in general, i like characters that trudge along in the background and do the nitty-gritty work that supports the main story. i like people like that irl too. more than anything else, yomo is desperate to form human connections, even though he’s shackled by self-doubt and self-loathing. he just wants to positively contribute to a community, thinking he’s most useful keeping a quiet eye on people who might need protection/guidance (while still giving them space to grow and act themselves) or foraging for human corpses so that others aren’t in danger or moral anguish doing it for themselves.

bird boy is a total weapon - “the perfect ghoul” - and you’re reminded over and over again but a lot of his growth is about rejecting violence and repurposing his power as something productive that he can use to help the people around him instead of hurting people (the yang to uta’s yin). in the first few chapters, he says he kills humans (he’s a ghoul, humans are food, it’s natural) and yet he’s consistently framed as a scavenger who seeks out ‘roadkill’ [suicide victims] for sustenance, even before coming to anteiku, and implements a system so other people can do the same.

suguru getou i was originally gonna say meg bc i love him but, having just finished The Flashback Arc, i can’t stop thinking about getou and i’m beyond impressed with how akutami has managed to ground him so well, so sympathetically. getou is the sick, warped darkness to the hopeful light that gojou commands but... in an uncomfortable twist, the reverse is true, kind of.

actually, gojou is arrogant and confrontational and hyper individualistic. he’s a dissident. getou is obedient, compassionate, self-aware... he has a sense of social responsibility and passionately believes that his skills should be used to protect those who can’t protect themselves - non-jujutsu sorcerers - and all of the suffering he endures as a result is worth that. idk if others are reading his downfall differently but, from where i’m standing, that overwhelming responsibility never goes away, he doesn’t give up on it - he just starts to view the social landscape differently and begins to see how jujutsu sorcerers are vilified and mistreated in spite of all the good that they do. the ‘weak’ aren’t really weak when they’re able to organise and assert collective power over a minority, and so his sympathies shift.

the nail in the coffin for getou is learning that the hurt and pain could be eradicted from the world by cutting the head of the proverbial snake: non-jujutsu users generate cursed energy, so get rid of non-jujutsu users and cursed energy won’t be generated. it’s all horribly, weirdly rooted in good intentions that weigh him down and misdirect him.  shinazugawa genya i feel like the bond that slowly starts to develop betwen tanjirou, and zenitsu and inosuke (in particular) is nicely foiled by genya’s lonely journey towards becoming a pillar. after losing almost all of his family and having sanemi walk away, genya is angry, antisocial, rude, violent, evasive...

he’s characterised as competitive, as if he hates his peers and wants to leave them in the dust as an act of self-satisfaction, a power fantasy or whenever, but this is a deliberate misdirection to cover for the fact that he’s scrambling to be a pillar so that he can reconnect with his brother and prove to him that he can protect himself; that sanemi doesn’t need to shoulder everything alone like he used to. his entire goal is an act of apology.

and in a story where so many characters are able to hone these exceptional skills, genya is uniquely disadvantaged as the only one who can’t master breathing techniques. rather than having a hero moment and powering up, his need to reconnect with sanemi is so strong that he essentially decides to compromise his humanity and become a kind of monster by ingesting the demons he’s pledged to annihilate. amajiki tamaki i wish i had a a longer explanation for this one but it’s actually super simple: tamaki is a really, really, really good portrayal of a person burdened with severe anxiety. the way he physically carries himself, the way he hides his face, his manner of speaking, his dependency on his mirio, how he interprets compliments as trickery, how he needs to be pushed and pushed and pushed before he’s finally able to release his potential... every single scene with tamaki felt deeply personal when i was reading bnha and i knew exactly what he was supposed to be feeling. shinmon benimaru sometimes good, nice people don’t fit a little friendly mould and i like that benimaru is hostile and rough and antisocial, even with people he cares about. he doesn’t expect anything of people, he doesn’t want them interfering with him, and he wants to help and support them all the same because he believes in community. he’s completely oppositional to the special fire force because he thinks it’s a tool to pursue an ideology rather than to protect people, which is why it’s so important when the eighth are finally able to win his approval - they become the only company the seventh consider allies, and it’s proof that their objectives are righteous. despite his reputation as... kind of a nuisance, his skill is acknowledged by everyone and he’s universally regarded as the strongest fire soldier there is. in spite of his antisocial attitude, he agrees that it’s important to share that with younger fire soldiers - he’s incredibly patient and understanding with them, helps them to individually adapt. the way he (and others in company seven) operate in contrast to the other companies when fighting infernals is really cool to me for two reasons: (1) it provides a commentary on how cultures and traditions often struggle to survive when they’re systematically (forcefully) replaced through power and wealth - although the subtext is a little troubling because it’s unclear whether ōkubo is conflating multiculturalism with globalisation which, uh, big nope; and (2) philosophically speaking, the approach to death is interesting. where the other companies essentially perform last rites and offer absolution to the deceased, benimaru personally takes responsibility - at the request of the people in his district - for sending them off in huge public display, kind of like a festival intending to celebrate their life. i think it speaks to how profoundly he values life. akihiko kaji i liked akihiko from the beginning because he’s stoic and introspective and also excitable and dumb. he’s a people watcher and waits for opportunities to softly guide uenoyama and mafuyu when they’re quietly crying out for help but doesn’t interfere any more than he thinks is necessary because he knows they can make their own way to where they need to go. i liked akihiko even more when he got really fucking messy. his relationship with ugetsu is sweet and it’s incredibly ugly and unhealthy because they both fail utterly to communicate with one another - they’re both to blame for avoiding and hurting each other, and i think that’s a really normal issue that people find difficult to overcome. i’m super interested (and really nervous) to see how his relationship with haruki develops. he’s done some horrible things to haruki and i want him to be accountable for those things and have them affect their relationship in a realistic way.

tanigaki genjirou one thing i really, really love about golden kamuy is the way noda satoru incorporates the importance of minority cultures into the story, and tanigaki’s apparent abandonment of his matagi heritage is really beautifully written. matagi hunting traditions shaped his life as a young man, it’s how he was able to really assimilate to the people around him and form relationships and - without getting too spoilery - he divorces himself from it all when he’s overcome by grief and hatches a plan for revenge against the person responsible. so, by allowing himself to surrender to negative feelings and thoughts instead of seeking support and learning to heal from what happened, he becomes a total shadow of himself. 

makimura takeshi i know i’ve gushed about it before but i can’t properly explain just how incredible it felt seeing an asexual character in manga dialogue about being asexual, and devils’ line does it twice. the reason i’m so attached to makimura in particular is because he doesn’t seem to have fully figured it out - and he’s kinda... comfortable with that. he wants to be with someone and he wants to be monogamous but he can’t understand why he doesn’t feel sexual desire towards her; he knows his feelings aren’t platonic but doesn’t know whether they can really be called romantic either.

not to go dark mode but i very vividly remember just how lonely and horrifying it was battling with those uncertainties when i was a teenager, thinking i was broken because i didn’t have Normal Human Feelings and needed to be fixed. i was so worried about it that i thought about all the boys i knew, picked the one i thought was the nicest and actively tried to develop a crush on him. it was dumb as fuck but, ten years later, i realise it was really desperate and sad too. i forced myself to have ~my first kiss~ (it was horrible) because i felt like i was getting left behind and i think i would’ve put myself in worse situations as i got older if i hadn’t suffered with such bad social anxiety.

i hadn’t really thought too much about a lot of this stuff for yeaaars but it all came flooding back when i was reading devils’ line. it was bittersweet bc i was remembering all of those shitty feelings but also watching this character grapple with those same questions and go: i don’t know yet and that’s not weird, let’s just grow with it. i still don’t totally know whether i’m ace or aro or bi, or whatever, but i’m trying to be okay with just... not knowing.

misora shuuji anyway, devils’ line isn’t actually a manga with a specific focus on sexuality and gender but shimanami tasogare is and all of the characters are written beautifully. if you haven’t read it yet... then why haven’t you read it yet? misora is only about twelve years old and watching them battle with their growing pains is really compelling - they’re closeted but, through the lounge, they have somewhere to explore their gender and all the questions they have about it. they’re amab and present as traditionally feminine wrt clothes, wigs, makeup, etc. but can’t quite tell if they see themselves as a girl, a boy or non-binary.

with the onset of puberty and anxieties about physical changes to their body, misora’s story puts a lot of emphasis on the pressure they face to just ‘make up their mind’ about something that’s actually incredibly complex and doesn’t have any easy answers. they snap and shout and get upset, especially when tasuku (the protag) tries to push them into a corner because he wants a concrete label or identity he can attach to misora, even though space is exactly what misora needs.