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pensat-i-fet · 2 years ago

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A Manchester Affair (Rúben Dias): Chapter 14

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

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The day after the match, Lucía was checking her emails when she realised she hadn't been on social media since leaving Old Trafford. She had tried to separate herself from all of it until it all blew up.

Logging onto Instagram she wasn’t really surprised to see all the notifications she had waiting for her. A bit late to private the account, then.

She didn't bother reading the comments or seeing who was following her now. But she did want to delete the DMs so she could spot the ones she got for work more easily. The problem with that plan was that she could see the beginning of each message. And those weren't friendly words she saw.

Despite trying her hardest not to do it, she ended up opening some of the messages and reading what was written there.

Ten minutes later, Lucía had learnt that she was potentially the worst person in the world. She was ugly, she was a whore and, of course, she only wanted Rúben for his money. No matter how unoriginal, it still hurt.

A knock on the door stopped her from reading more.

"Come in".

It was Erik who showed up. "Morning. Can we talk?"

"Sure", she said, still annoyed about the way he had treated Rúben.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. Please apologize to Rúben for me. I…I saw you hurting again and lost control".

"I get it. But you were really unfair to him".

"I know".

“Let’s hope your next meeting is a bit better”, she said, sighing.

"So", he started again. "Are you ok?"

"Peachy".

"You don't need to lie to me. I can tell you are not feeling ok".

Lucía didn't cry last night, not in front of Rúben. But now, it all came out.

"Hey hey hey", said Erik, walking to where she was sitting so she could hug her. He gave her some time to let her emotions out before he could try and console her with his words.

But out of the corner of his eye, he could see her computer screen.

"What is this?"

"Nothing", she said, trying to close the tab when she realized what he was talking about.

"Were you reading comments about you right now? Seriously? You are a lot smarter than that".

"Maybe I'm not".

"These people", he said, pointing to the computer. "They don't know you. Their opinions don't matter".

"I know. I won't let them affect me again. I just had a moment of weakness, I guess. It’s been too many things happening in too little time”.

“I understand. But it’s easy to let outside opinions hurt us and I don’t want that for you. You didn’t see me reading comments about me after Brentford, did you?”, he jokes, trying to make her laugh.

“I read them for you, coach. They even said you were losing because of how awful your suits are”, she laughed, joking back.

“Well, what do they know about style?”

Before leaving, he turned back to talk to Lucía again.

“We are all here for you. Don’t forget it, Lu”, he reassured her.

“I know”.

And they were there for her, but they also tiptoed around her the next couple of days. It was a funny feeling. On the one hand, she had the people who knew and loved her being afraid of doing or saying anything that could hurt her. And then on the other were the people who didn’t know her but had no problems telling her all the things they knew would hurt her. The only one who was in the middle was Rúben. Probably because he was the only one who could truly understand how she felt. His privacy had been invaded as much as hers had been. But he seemed to be taking it well. It wasn’t the first time something like this happened to him.

The press easily found out who Lucía was and all of a sudden her entire life was being printed on tabloids. How ridiculous. Even her friends were getting DMs from people asking them about her.

And everyone had an opinion about everything, but it was her friendship with Pep a lot of people decided to focus on. So many theories about how that was linked with Lucía’s relationship with Rúben. Well, it wasn’t really that hard to get, was it?

It was exhausting to read so many ignorant comments.

She knew she shouldn’t, but she kept on looking at the comments made about her. It was like an addiction. You knew it was bad for you, but you couldn’t stop. The tabloids’ comments made the messages she got on Instagram seem PG.

But the worst thing about this is that no one knew she was reading them. They could see her being affected but they just assumed it was because of the articles. They didn’t imagine she was doing this to herself. And a part of her wanted them to find out just so they could talk some sense into her and get her to stop.

The media team were trying to stop the publication of more articles, but they were doing so well that the tabloids didn’t care about what United or City had to say about it. They kept on printing stupid article after stupid article.

Two weeks after the derby, Lucía was taking a shower after work when Rúben let himself inside her apartment. She knew he was coming and that he had a key, but she didn’t expect him there so early. If she had, she would have at least dried her face from all the crying she did in the shower. It was becoming a tradition for her to do that.

“What happened? Are you ok?”, he said, running to hold her.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m…”.

But she was not fine. And if there was someone that deserved to know, it was her boyfriend. He would understand.

“I can’t deal with this anymore”, she said, crying again and holding onto him.

“With what?”

“The articles, the comments, the messages, …it’s too much”, she finally admitted. And it felt good to get that out of her chest.

“Have you been reading them?”

“Yes, I can’t seem to stop”.

“You have to. This is so stupid. You’re hurting yourself on purpose”, he said, shocking Lucía with how harsh his words were.

She immediately separated from him.

“You think I’m having fun?”

“It’s as simple as stopping. I haven’t read anything so it’s not affecting me”.

“You have to be kidding me”, she half laughed. “Even if you did it wouldn’t affect you as much. All the insults are coming my way, Rúben”.

“Who cares about that?”

“I care!! I haven’t spent 10 years building this career to now be reduced to a gold-digging whore!”, she yelled, annoyed at his lack of understanding.

“But you aren’t any of those things”.

“It doesn’t make a difference”.

Lucía sat on her bed, tired of being tired. Sad and drained of energy.

“This is why I knew dating a footballer was a bad idea”, she said, not thinking about her words.

“Dating me is a bad idea? Well, thanks for letting me know. It feels great to hear”.

She could hear the anger in Rúben’s words.

“You know what I mean, Rúben. Dating you comes with a lot of good things. So many I can’t even count them, but it also includes things like this. These moments when I just don’t know how to cope with them. I didn’t choose to become a public person. I’m supposed to stay behind the scenes, not to be the one people talk about”.

He remained silent. And she somehow found the strength to say the words she didn’t want to say but felt she needed to say anyways.

“Maybe we should take a break or something…”.

“No”.

“Excuse me?”, she said, looking at him. His face was as serious as she’d ever seen it.

“I said no. We’re not taking a break. We are not breaking up over this. Can’t you see that’s what these people want?”

Lucía just looked at him, trying to process his words.

“They want to break us. They want you to feel so bad that you do this. So bad that you stay away from me so they stop writing articles about you. But they won’t. They’ll write even more. And they want me to believe all those things they say about you but I don’t give a shit because I know the real you and they don’t”.

Even though Lucía tried to talk, only sobs came out of her mouth. It was then that Rúben sat down next to her and hugged her.

“If I need to be strong for the both of us for a little while, I will be. If I need to take your phone from you so you don’t read anything else, I will do it. But you’re not breaking up with me over this. Please, just let me help you”.

“I’m sorry”, she whispered.

“Don’t be. You’re being attacked left and right. It’s normal to feel this way. But you can’t just keep it to yourself. There are so many people in your life willing to help”.

“I know. And I’ll stop reading the articles and the comments. I swear”.

“Oh, I’ll make sure you do. And I’ll tell Diogo and Scott to make sure you don’t do it at work”.

“Scott? Are you texting daily now or something?”

“Yes, we are”.

That made Lucía move back to look at him. He was actually serious.

“What?”

“He’s worried about you and so am I. So we’ve been talking, trying to see how we could help you”.

“I like that you’re friends”, she said, smiling between the tears. “At least something good came out of this”.

“Other good things can come out of this. We can come out stronger. But you have to want it, and you have to work with me for it”.

And that’s exactly what they did.

"What are you doing?", asked Scott when he saw her sitting down by herself in the canteen.

"Reading an article".

"What?", he said, taking her phone from her. Lucía only laughed at that.

"About a new treatment for an ankle injury".

"Well, you can't blame me for caring", he said, giving her the phone back.

"I'll tell your bestie you're great at your job, don't worry".

"He's not my bestie", said Scott, rolling his eyes.

"You text him more than you text me these days. I'm a bit jealous", she teased him.

"Whatever".

"I'm joking, Scott. It means a lot to me that you two get on well. Much better than pushing each other on the pitch".

"Well, let me remind you it was your boyfriend who pushed me. I did nothing".

"It must have been a first", said Lucía, laughing at his friend's face.

“You ok, though?”, he asked.

“Yes, I’m ok”, she smiled.

#ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias fluff #ruben dias fanfic #ruben dias fanfiction #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #footballer fluff #footballer fanfiction

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madfantasy · 3 years ago

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I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

#ask #text #diary #personal #my art #miss

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cacoetheswriting · 4 years ago

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champagne problems, ch.1

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter One: Bloodsport: You announce your engagement to the team, shattering Spencer's heart. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 2.3k Warnings: mild cursing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, very angsty, this series is going to be a real slow burn babyyy

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Today was like any other day.

You woke up at your usual time to the sound of your alarm. You had coffee, and a quick bite to eat while aimlessly scrolling through the social media apps on your phone. You showered, brushed your teeth, got dressed, did your makeup. And when it was time to leave, you walked out the front door locking it behind you, hopped in your car, and drove to work.

Today was like any other day. Except that it wasn’t.

Today wasn't like any other day because while you carried out all of your menial morning tasks, you felt a little heavier. Rather your hand did.

It was your birthday a couple of days ago. And while you had planned to spend with your boyfriend, Ethan, the universe had other plans and you were stuck out of town on a case. You weren’t mad about it, it was your job after all, and Ethan understood. His work hours were also unreliable.

Plus you got to celebrate with the other people that mattered the most to you in world; your team. It may have not been they day you had envisioned, because who wants to spend their birthday at a gloomy prescient looking over gruesome crime scene photos, but your team made it special. Takeout, gallons of coffee, and shortly before midnight they surprised you with cake - which Luke slipped up was all Spencer’s idea.

Little did you know the surprises would continue upon your return home. Ethan, down on one knee in the middle of your living room, surrounded by candles and about a dozen bouquets of roses.

You took a deep breath before getting out of your car, and heading inside the building. Knowing your sudden engagement would come as a shock to the people you worked with, your second family, you were quite anxious about telling them. You were worried about how they would react. They didn't really know Ethan. They only met him a total of three times throughout the duration of your relationship meaning all the information they possessed was what you had told them - which in reality wasn’t all that much.

Sitting down at your desk, you kept your hand on your lap. As usual you were the first to arrive meaning you had some time to figure out exactly how you were going to go about this. Your gut feeling was to tell Spencer first. You owed him at least that much giving everything the two of you had been through.

But once again the universe had other plans.

“Good morning sunshine!”, Garcia chimed as she crossed the bullpen. “It is so lovely to see your beautiful beautiful face. How was Scottsdale?” She asked stopping beside your desk. “You know, apart from all the murder.”

“Uhm, it was-”

“Wait! Before you answer me.” She interrupted while reaching into her handbag. “I wanted to give you this.” Seconds later she retrieved a gift, wrapped perfectly in glittery pink paper with a bright bow tied around it. “Happy Birthday!”

“Penelope, you didn't have to.”

“Shush now, of course I did.” She smiled. “Come on. Take it, take it.”

Which is exactly what you did; completely forgetting about the two carat diamond that now graced your ring finger.

The shriek that came out of Garcia’s mouth was enough to make you remember. But before you could snatch your hand back, hide it on your lap once again, she grabbed it and the ever so present smile on her face widened even more.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!”, Garcia was jumping now, her hand still gripping yours as she examined the ring. “When did this happen? How did this happen? Oh I have so many questions!” Another excited shriek escaped her lips. “I’m going to hug you now, and then you’re going to tell me everything!”

Garcia let your hand fall before bending down slightly to wrap her arms tightly around you. “Congratulations honey, this is so exciting!” She swayed the two of you side to side.

“What’s exciting?” Luke’s voice caused the two of you to break apart.

“Well newbie, you should invest in a tux.” Penelope beamed.

“I have a tux.” Luke furrowed his brows, slightly confused. “Wait, what?” He glanced between you and Garcia, waiting for an explanation.

Taking in a quick breath, you got to your feet and lifted your hand to show him the ring. “Ethan proposed last night.”

Luke’s jaw fell open. “Holy smokes! Congratulations Y/N!” Dropping his bag to the floor, he pulled you into a quick embrace. “That’s huge news. I’m so happy for you.”

Penelope cleared her throat. “I think you mean we are all happy for her.” Luke chuckled and rolled his eyes at the blonde. “Yes, yes.”

One by one the team arrived. One by one you shared your news, and one by one they each congratulated you.

Matt joked about giving him a hefty amount of notice so he could organise a babysitter. Luke asked how you’d feel if his date was Roxy. Dave offered his house as a possible venue; ”Won’t be the first wedding I host kid.”. While Tara, JJ, Emily, and Garcia were deep in discussion about organising your bridal shower.

In the midst of all the chaos you hadn't even realised that one person was missing. The person who’s reaction might not be as cheery as the rest of the group currently huddled around you.

Spencer was late for work. He cursed under his breath while waiting for the elevator. He didn't like to be late. Which is why it didn't happen often. Not because time-keeping overall was important to him. No. He made sure to arrive early each day because it was the only time of day he got to spend with you. Alone.

It was the only time of day he had you all to himself.

As selfish as it may seem, it was the truth. Although he would never admit it to anyone because that would mean admitting his true feelings. And he couldn't do that. He had his chance. He blew it. Maybe he would get another in the future, he secretly hoped he would, but for now those interrupted mornings with you had to suffice.

The brunette agent immediately noticed the team gathered at your desk. He thought the worst, but was quickly reassured you were okay when your honey-like laughter filled the bullpen. The sound was music to his ears. If he could, he’d listen to you laugh all day.

“So are you going to keep us guessing forever?” Tara asked intrigued. “How did Ethan do it?”

Garcia clapped her hands. “Yes, tell us. Was it romantic? Oh, who am I kidding of course it was romantic. All proposals are.”

Proposals? Spencer shook the thought away. No, he must have heard that incorrectly.

“Did he get down on one knee?” JJ asked with a smile.

“I gotta give it to Ethan though cause that ring looks expensive. Being a surgeon must be nice.” Luke noted, causing Garcia to smack his bicep. “What?” He retorted shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just an observation.” “Keep your observations to yourself newbie.”

“Why don’t we let Y/N breathe for a second?” Rossi chimed in. “I’ll treat everyone to lunch later and she can tell us the story then.” He suggested, glancing between the team. Everyone nodded in unison and scattered; just as Spencer approached.

The second your gaze landed on him, you noticed the solemn look spread across his face. A sick feeling spread through you and you quickly wondered just how much he overheard.

“Good morning doctor.” You greeted him, your lips pursed into a half-smile.

“Good morning.” Spencer replied without looking at you.

“How are you?” You asked as he took off his bag and placed it on the desk beside him. “I wondered where you were this morning.” You added, making conversation.

Spencer didn't respond. He couldn't bring himself to say anything. He couldn't even bare to meet your eyes; which were currently burning a hole into the side of his head.

While he thought he misheard Garcia say something about proposals, he definitely heard JJ’s question and Luke mention Ethan, and the ring. Spencer usually stirred away from making assumptions, but this time all the evidence was there. He didn't have to ask. He knew. You were engaged.

“Can-” You cleared your throat. “Can we go somewhere private and talk? I have something I need to tell you.”

“I can’t now.” He rasped. Before you got a chance to protest, the brunette doctor turned on his heel and rushed away.

The reason he dashed away was you. Your engagement. He figured it out, overheard it, and now he needed to process this new information. You should have let him go, do it alone. You knew you shouldn't have followed him, that it would only make things worse, but you couldn't help yourself. There was a time where you thought Spencer was the love of your life. That the two of you would be getting married. And even though that didn't work out...

You grabbed his arm and using all of your strength you pulled him to a halt. The brunette doctor ran a hand through his already ruffled hair as you stepped in front of him.

“Spencer, can we talk about this?” You asked, your hand falling back down to your side. “There is nothing to talk about Y/N.” Spencer huffed. “You’re engaged. I’m happy for you.” There was a distinct hurt in his voice.

“This isn’t how I thought you would find out. I wanted you to be the first one to know but-” “It doesn’t matter Y/N.” He interrupted.

“It matters to me Spencer.”

“Why?” He asked in an ominous tone. His eyes darkened. “We broke up a long time ago. You don't owe me anything.” “Our breakup has nothing to do with this.” You protested. Spencer scoffed. “I don’t believe you. You’re not chasing down any of the other members of our team.” “Yeah, because they’re all genuinely happy for me.”

“You don't think I’m happy for you?”

“I know you're not.”

Silence. Heavy-sitting, unbearable silence. The two of you simply stared at each other as if fighting an inaudible argument. Blood pressure rising, your heart was now hammering in your chest and you were sure he was even angrier than you.

Perhaps that last sentence came out harsher then you intended it to, but in your eyes it was the truth. Spencer had every right not to be happy for you. In fact, a large part of you expected him to react badly which is also another reason why you wanted him to be the first to know.

You were right of course, you just didn't know it.

The pain in his chest was insufferable. The jealousy, the anger, the sorrow. All of those feelings mixed inside of him and spread through his body like wildfire. He thought he was heartbroken before, back when you first started dating Ethan, but he was dead wrong. His head was spinning. He felt nauseous. It was hard to breathe. This was heartbreak.

See, Spencer was there when you and Ethan first met. Which in his mind made all of this so much worse. The team was working a local case, and the brunette agent got hurt. Not severely, but it was enough to make everyone worry so you volunteered to drive him to the hospital. While Spencer got checked out, you went to fetch him some jell-o. When you returned about twenty minutes later, you weren't alone anymore.

You never told anyone the full story. Just that the surgeon spotted you in the cafeteria, and asked you out for coffee. Honestly, there wasn't much more to it than that. Well, apart from the tiny detail that your initial thought was to decline Ethan’s offer because you were secretly hoping to get back together with the brunette agent.

The only reason you said yes to Ethan all those months ago was because he was a surgeon, and with both of your hectic schedules combined you never thought it would progress any further than that one coffee date. But it did. And overtime you moved on from Spencer, and learned to love the surgeon. The feeling isn't quite the same, but Ethan makes you feel good and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. Right?

“What do you want me to say Y/N?” Spencer asked, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Do you want to hear how I think you’re rushing into this? Do you want me to tell you I think Ethan is bad for you? That you can do better?” Pause. “It’s not like my opinion will change anything.”

You opened your mouth to say something but no words came out. Spencer sighed. “You’re engaged now. You’re going to marry Ethan, and I’m respecting your choice.”

The look that spread across Spencer’s face was pure sadness. He tried not to show it, but you could read him like an open book. He was in pain. He was in pain and there was nothing you could possibly do that would in any way help him or make him feel any better.

“We both moved on Y/N. You deserve to be happy, even if I think the guy is a jerk.” Spencer stated. It was harsh, he knew that, but in his defence it wasn't entirely true. Yes, he thought Ethan was an ass but it was primarily because Spencer loved you still, and he knew he would continue to love you until the end of his days. In his eyes, Ethan didn't deserve you.

And Spencer tried to get over you. Once he knew that you and Ethan were serious, he really tried to get over you. Yet nothing he did worked; it is as if you are imbedded deep in his soul. If he was a selfish man, he would let you stay there forever making it your permanent home. But Spencer Reid wasn't selfish, far from it. And now you were engaged to someone that wasn't him. He had to cut the cord. Even if the feeling was going to crush him.

“The only thing we share now is our work Y/N, nothing more.” And with that the brunette doctor walked away leaving you feeling lost, confused and slightly hurt.

You at least thought he considered you a friend.

Loving you is a bloodsport. Fighting in a love war.

A/N: starting off the new year right with this angsty mini-series. honestly, i couldn't get the idea out of my head over the holidays so i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i am currently enjoying writing it! hope you liked the first chapter. i’d love to hear your feedback and what you think will happen next! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 3 years ago

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Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later.

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics. .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown.

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left.

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark.

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak.

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying.

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan.

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to.

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU.

******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael.

******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #pining #mutual pining #first half of the list #to be updated

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korra-the-red-lion · 3 years ago

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Supergirl 6x18: Truth or Consequences.

Hey y’all, it’s your girl Korra! There is only one week of Supergirl left and I’m not coping well with it, haha. This show...sigh, this show. I will always have a soft spot for it. I’m really going to miss it, warts and all. Alright, so how did this episode fair? Let’s find out, and as always, SPOILERS AHEAD.

The episode opens up with William telling the Superfriends about his secret meeting with Otis. This is setting up a few things right away. 1) William’s story this episode which we all know isn’t going to end well. 2) Alex’s story about her feelings about Esme. Not a bad way to start the episode.

Andrea leaked Lex’s journal to the media and put William’s name on it 💀. Understandably, Lex and William are both very upset. I did laugh when Nyxly said “they don’t even know me” when the reporters called her a psychopath haha. Girl, they don’t need to know you. You’ve caused so much damage to the city already.

William storms into Andrea’s office and rightfully chews her out for it. I think it was a little mean of him to compare her to Lex. William didn’t like working for Andrea, that’s been obvious since the beginning of this season, so I never understood why he didn’t just leave. Anyway, this speech right here...yeah, it’s his last hooray, so to speak.

I did love that Andrea spoke Spanish though. Points for that.

The Superfriends go to get the Totems from Nyxly and Lex. The action looks good but the CGI was a little wonky. Looking at this, I realized something. Brainy and J’onn both have been in make up more the last few episodes. I guess they’re using the budget for that instead of the CGI, which is fine lol. Just something that came to mind.

Brainy is talking to Winn but they didn’t want to pay Jeremy for voice work so instead it’s a bunch of moving lines lmfao. But Brainy’s face when he receives the news? OUCH.

Yet another Lexly scene. There are a lot of them this episode.

Alex and Kelly are cleaning Esme up after she blew up paint at the school because Chelsea was being rude to her. Girl, blow that paint up. Alex handles the moment really well and then we see the Love Totem mark on her skin. Uh oh. This is not a good thing.

THIS SCENE. F*ck. Last week I said I was worried that Brainy might be leaving at the end of the season to go back to the future and this happens!! UGH. I DIDN’T WANT TO BE RIGHT. I really, really, really, hope that they find a way that he can stay because I can’t handle Brainia breaking up in the finale. That would be way too sad. Jesse Rath also absolutely demolishes this scene. Ngl people, I cried. It was a lot. His “I AM A PART OF SOMETHING GREATER!!” hurts so damn much.

Not that I have a lot of hope for it, but there is a parallel between Supercorp here. Brainy looks at his phone in despair after future Brainy tells him he has to go back, and it’s a picture of Nia. Kara (or Lena, my memory is a little fuzzy on this) also did that at some point during s5.

Another Lexly scene. They go get the Truth Totem, which is hidden in the archives of the SG prop department lol. I honestly feeling like they were careful with the budget this episode because of the finale. Or at least I hope so.

Another parallel between Kara and Nyxly: Nyxly says she doesn’t want to be alone, not to be afraid that those who are close to her will betray her. Kara doesn’t want to be alone anymore and wants to be able to be herself.

Danvers sisters are fighting. The thing is...Kara is only trying to help. This fight felt a little forced, in terms of I don’t think Alex would have been so defensive about this. I think this fight was supposed to be a build up for Kara’s identity reveal in the finale. Anyway, Kara and Alex both make some fair points, and again, I do feel like for the most part Kara is trying to help, but Alex gets angry and leaves, leaving Kara feeling guilty for her actions.

Nia is trying to locate Nyxly and the Totems, but ends up seeing Brainy’s time is coming to an end. You may have heard this a few times, but Jesse kills this scene. Nicole does too. This whole scene hurts. It was so well done.

So we’re 16 minutes into the episode and we’re having another Lexly scene. My biggest issue with this episode is exactly this. I don’t mind them. I even like that Lex isn’t taking over her as the villain. My problem is just that too much of the episode is focused on them, and building up their love story. You could have done this earlier in the season or something. It was just too much.

Andrea calls Lena, because the writers remembered they were friends lmao. Lena answers even though she’s supposedly busy. So they have a good conversation about why Andrea did what she did, and it was a good one to have. It just sucks that they could have been building up Andrea’s story this whole time but now it’s gonna be shoved into the last couple of episodes.

J’onn listens to Kara about why she is down about Esme and Alex. I’m glad that he does agree with her, but gently reminds her that they (Kelly and Alex) are her moms. I think this is good because it shows us that Kara did have good intentions and how hard it was being an alien.

I feel like Alex is a little short with Kara in this scene for no real reason. Like Kara is just saying not to cancel something because of this. Not a shining moment for Alex.

Kara and J’onn go the ship to get the Totems. Kara gets blasted by Lex and used TWO of her powers. I couldn’t believe it. She was a super badass this scene. Mitch attacks J’onn and he owns Mitch’s butt in like 10 seconds lol. Kara causes the ship to explode and they get the Totems! J’onn, who can fly through space, takes Kara back to Earth.

Esme wins the competition! William offers to babysit her so the others can party and I knew it was coming after this. My stomach dropped. It’s not a good feeling.

Alex and Kara make up and I’m glad. I still feel like the conflict was a little forced but overall it was well done. This conversation is really great and Melissa and Chyler kill it. I’m glad they had a heart to heart.

Lexly. Again. Nyxly realizes that she cares for Lex in this scene and they discover the Love Totem. I thought they were going to kiss and I’m so glad that they didn’t. Anyway, so they go to get the Totem.

So there’s a really fun Bachelorette party scene that doesn’t last very long. I did love the conversations they all had though, and the dancing was super fun. I just never want anyone to complain about the Flash Bachelorette episode to me every again lmfao. At least Iris and the girls got to be the focus.

Okay, before I really get into this, but why did J’onn not notice that they were at the Tower? So much for psychic overview. And William recorded this whole thing instead of calling for help??

Alright. So here is my biggest problem of the episode. We all knew William’s death was coming. Between the writing and BTS stuff, we knew. But I don’t care. I had no feelings when he died, and that’s on the writers. They introduced him as a douchebag at first, and claimed it was because he was undercover. Then had to turn around and make him into a nice guy. Then he was forced as Kara’s LI for a bit, which was horrible. That was all in s5. So s6 rolls around and I found him to be tolerable. He has a girlfriend now, and he’s just overall trying to be helpful while doing his job. But William had no real personality outside of that. With his skin tone we knew he was probably half Indian, but that was never mentioned until this episode. He was just the British baker who wanted to help. I’m not sad over his death. I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that they killed him off, killed off yet another person of colour, when they could have just made him leave the show. His death was a plot device to motivate someone to finally get rid of Lex once and for all. William was a wasted character. All this time spent on him to make us feel bad really didn’t do much, so that was wasted time as well. Nothing about his death makes me happy or sad. I’m just angry at the writers.

The ending of the episode is good though. I do think they did a good job showing that the Superfriends cared about him. And obviously they’re worried about Esme as well. High stakes for the next episode.

Okay, so that’s it. I rewatched the episode and liked it a little better the second time. I still think that Lexly was just too much this episode, and William’s death was unnecessary. But overall, it sets some stuff up for the finale. It wasn’t a terrible episode, just not my favourite. Part of that is probably because I’ve been pissed about William’s dying for weeks now. Anyway, let’s see if the finale can pull this off. I really want SG to have a good ending. I think this season has been pretty fun for the most part. Way better than s5. If they stick the landing, I think SG will have a good rewatch value for me at least. But let’s see how it goes. Also, I’ll be doing episode 19 and 20 in separate posts because that’s gonna be a lot.

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wickedgamesoyaoya · 4 years ago

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Was it appropriate to long for someone who loved another?

The question was one that Iwaizumi refused to acknowledge for the last six years, after Oikawa questioned the trainer’s feelings for their mutual friend. The conversation bloomed the night of your two-year anniversary with the younger Miya twin. It was quite difficult to miss the dozens of photographs uploaded to your social media, broadcasting the romantic evening that was planned. Soon his entire feed became only…you.

The former captain raised an eyebrow curiously at his friend, who was battling several emotions that were threatening to contort his features. It was not fate that brought Oikawa Tooru to his best friend’s side that evening. Rather, the decision to invite Iwaizumi for drinks on that particular date was a calculated choice. There were some questions that were nagging at him, ones that demanded answers before he departed from his home country.

“You didn’t think they would last this long, did you?” The inquiry was hummed out in amusement as he trailed a finger along the rim of the glass planted ahead of him. From the side of his eye, he noticed Iwaizumi shift uncomfortably in his seat.

“It’s good. We wanted her to be happy, and she is. So, it’s a good thing they lasted this long.” His words lacked an earnest vigour, and not even the straightest composure could sell the packaged response as the truth.

“Hmm. Oh, Iwa-chan. When will you be honest with me?” Exhaling a weighed sigh, Oikawa shook his head before taking a swing of the liquor. Or at least, when would he be honest with himself?

“What are you blabbering about now, Shittykawa?” The narrowing of his eyelids into slits was meant to resonate a sense of anger, or at minimum irritation. Yet, it was fear that was burning bright in his irises.

“Is it really appropriate to long for someone who is in love with another?” It was a dangerous question to be spewing, Oikawa knew the insinuations laying at the foundation were sure to provoke some dormant emotions. And so, when sorrow forced the other male to flicker his gaze to the opposite direction, the former captain blew out a low hum in understanding.

“I don’t long for her, you idiot,” After swallowing the lump in his throat, he attempted to brush off the comment, rather unsuccessfully. While Oikawa found his friend’s first protest to be a blatant lie, what followed next was enough to cause him to drop his face onto his palm. “She’s like a little sister to me.”

Despite Iwaizumi’s desire to present the admission as factual, calling you his little sister returned the crawling sensation that was prompted earlier to return to his skin; and he had to ponder whether the bitter taste in his mouth was from the liquor or from the deceit dripping from his lips.

“Iwa-chan, you know what they say. Denial is the first stage.” The humorous comment was accompanied by a gentle laugh. While his questions were completely shut down; the physical reactions that his inquiries elicited was enough to confirm his suspicions.

Unrequited love was tragic; but what made the circumstances substantially worse was that it began with mutual love. The only issue was that neither party dared to cross the boundaries between friendship and relationship, afraid to lose the other in the process.

“Shut up.” Neither boy was convinced or impacted by the half-hearted demand, rather it was silently understood that its sole purpose was to fill the empty space that was left for a confession that would not come.

However, the conversation laid a layer of bricks on Iwaizumi’s shoulders, shackling him to the truth he was desperately avoiding. It comes as no surprise that for the remainder of the evening, he could not muster the courage to scroll through any of his social media. For if he did, the action would be admitting something he promised to always keep buried.

Tonight, the question returned to the forefront of his thoughts, mocking him for a weakness he despised himself for possessing. But it was not longing that was behind the uneasiness bordering nausea flooding him. No – it was the thought of what could have been.

What if he said something? What if you did? Would you have been happier – not knowing the one who was the cause of your broken heart? Or would he have stolen from you a happiness that you could never receive with him?

Sinking his face into his palms, he clenched his eyelids shut, aiming to shove aside the haunting thoughts. He remained in the crouched position for twenty minutes, unable to gather the energy to adjust his posture until he heard slight stirring from the bed ahead of him.

“Akari?” From under the duvet, you raised a hand to beckon for your sister who was coincidentally, not in the bedroom at the moment. The impact of the alcohol had worn off considerably by now, leaving only an irksome strain in your temples.

“She’s downstairs.” The trainer debated internally whether to approach you or not, and upon hearing the little groan that was offered in response, he opted to wait before abandoning his post. “How are you feeling?” Resting his arms along his thighs, he laced his fingers together, stretching them anxiously on either side.

A verbal response did not immediately follow his line of questioning. As you raised to a seating position on the bed, your gaze dropped to the stuffed animal that was snug against your side. Your memories of what transpired earlier in the evening was lagging, returning to you at a slow rate that was highly antagonizing. Though, the pieces that you did remember were the ones involving your best friend whose gaze you could not meet. Maybe if you were younger, still justifying your decisions with the motto of no regrets, it would have been an easier task. But you knew what was said tonight was dangerously careless.

“Tired.” Whispering the response, you brought the plushie to your lap, gently brushing your fingers against the fur. While you did remember the accidental damage, your intoxicated state inflicted on your friendship; you did not remember how you came to possess the toy within your grasp.

“Do you remember anything?” Iwaizumi prodded, testing whether it was appropriate to initiate the conversation you were dreading to have.

“Pieces.” This time you responded promptly; emotion devoid in your mumbled response. “Though, I don’t remember asking Bo to get this little baby, so I guess I saw him?” You aimed to spit the final word of the sentence with venom, and yet it spilled from your lips, coated with a hint of fondness, rather than disgust – something that Iwaizumi caught on, twinging the spear planted inside of his chest.

“You did.” Ignoring the discomfort stretching along his torso, he forcefully stabilized his breathing, drawing longer and heavier breaths through his nose. He didn’t know what was expected of him now. His role in your life had always been one of a protector – but now, with the truth exposed as an open wound, what could he do? What should he do?

“I thought so. I was hoping that part was a dream.” Chewing on the inside of your cheek, a humourless melody was blown out. While you were unable to recall what the conversation was, an image of your fiancé had projected inside of your mind. In the memory he wore his vulnerability openly for you, and you despised how it made you want to comfort him. How you wanted to claim his pain as your own, even though your own heart was suffering from the pain he inflicted on it.

“Why didn’t you answer me? I could have been there for you. If it’s about what you said…” With his throat constricting, he was unable to complete the sentence. But you were quick to fill the silence, aiming to end the conversation before it could develop further.

“I wasn’t thinking straight, Hajime. Just ignore what I said, okay.” You couldn’t do this. Not right now. Not when your heart was already breaking from your last love – it would not survive additional pain from your first one.

“What if I don’t want to ignore it?” He did not intend to push the topic forward without your consent, but the question left his mouth before he could bite his tongue. Despite being regarded as the one who held a considerable amount of control of emotions, his resolve to remain in control weakened with each passing second.

“Why? So, you can tell me that you didn’t feel the same way? That you’re sorry? Because if that’s what you’re doing to say, please don’t. I don’t think I can handle it.” Drawing in a deep breath, you tipped your head up, fixing your attention on the ceiling, hoping the liquid hanging on your lashes would not depart. “And if you’re going to tell me that I was wrong, that you did see me that way…What’s the point now?” Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, your eyelids fluttered shut, granting the tears full reign over your cheeks. “You didn’t tell me it when it would have made a difference.”

The sight of you falling apart filled him with dread. How could he despise the younger Miya twin for his idiotic behaviour when he too caused you similar hurt? How could he have been so damn oblivious?

The only difference between him and Osamu, was that he didn’t care for his own pain. He didn’t desire your pity or sympathy. He wanted your happiness.

The distance between you two could no longer be tolerated. He quickly rose to his feet, making his way to the mattress, before guiding you into his arms. When you were in his embrace, you slowly placed your arms around his middle limply.

“I’m sorry, y/n.” What he was apologizing did not have to be stated, you knew what it was and that was enough.

Because you were sorry too… for what could have been, and what had been lost.

Let’s do it again, shall we - what if

Masterlist - Previous - Next

A/N: no one kill me, LMAO.

taglist: @idiot-juice-enthusiast @vicassa @yourstarvic @bringmelily @newfriendjen @hikarichannn @anime-simp @tsukkismamagucci @laughingismorefun @astronomyturtle @shegrewupwithoutafather @hyskoa1998 @deephumandragonperson @pretty-setter-bois @raenebalgaire @sugawarabby @justanotherfangirl2 @keijisworld @90s-belladonna @momoinot @sempiternal-amour @cherryblosom111 @yqshirov @haikyuufairy @volleybloop @bloody-bella @sadkaashistan @seikamuzu @namyari @toaster-stick @coconut-dreamz @roseestuosity @prcttylittlcthing @uzumakioden @nerdynstoned @kenmasgameboy @kaiju-teeth @ouijaeater15 @aquariarose @fandomtrashpandasposts @helloalex80 @stfucanunot @envyusshades @cuddlesslut @seijohiseliterambles @meiikuki @cuddlejeongin @tchalameme @ditu-m9 @elianetsantana

Taglist continued in the comments from my personal ❣️

#osamu x reader #osamu x y/n #osamu x you #osamu miya #miya osamu #osamu smau #osamu scenario #hq osamu #osamu angst #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu smau #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu

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janeyseymour · 4 years ago

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"the wrath of mama seymour- or whatever the hell I’ve been labelled as" -Jane

Jane takes it upon herself to handle some nasty comments one particular account has been leaving the queens.

WC: 3072

For the most part, the queens got rave reviews, and their queendom was full of love and support. Every once in a while though, the queens got some hate, specifically Anna of Cleves and Jane Seymour- the two queens who arguably had it the least bad. While the others got hate sometimes, it was never anything that the queens would deem as true. Some might tell Katherine or Anne that they were “whores”, but the two knew this was not true. History might have depicted them as this, but they lived their lives. They knew they weren’t. Anne had actively tried to reject the king, and Katherine was forced into her situations. What these people had said about Jane and Anna was true- or at least those two thought so.

The fourth queen wasn’t one to put up with the comments. She would openly complain about them to the other queens, and she had even made it a point to call out the hateful comments that she got. Jane Seymour wasn’t like this.

The silver queen, hot-tempered and not so kind in her first life, knew that if she had said anything, it would only fuel the hate comments. So, she stayed quiet about it, letting these comments eat at her slowly.

“You’re responsible for Anne’s death. Don’t you feel even the slightest bit guilty about that? Bitch.”

“We all know the “i’m a kind sweet mum” act is fake. If you’re a bitch, just show it and let us hate you.”

“You don’t even deserve to be in the show. You had it the easiest.”

“The only one he truly loved? He only loved you because you had a son. But that son died before he could even do anything. After you died, you still failed. You don’t deserve to be remembered as queen, and you definitely don’t deserve to be in the likes of the other queens.”

That one hurt. That one comment hurt. The third queen did what she could to let it roll off her shoulders, but to no avail. That comment made her stomach flip.

Still, she did her best to stay kind, finally deciding to put out a video on her Instagram in attempts to stop the hate coming her way.

“Hi queendom. It’s Jane,” she said as sweetly as she could. “I’m here to address something with all of you. As we know, the idea of the queendom is to build others up, not tear them down. Now, I know we all know I say in my song that I’m unbreakable.” She paused, mulling over how she was going to word this. Her tone lowered a bit as she spoke quietly, “But the truth is, I’m not.” Her voice broke a bit as she said this. “I see every comment you all leave. I see every direct message, every private message, all of it. The kind comments are so lovely, and I appreciate them all so much. The not-so-kind comments are few and far between, and for that I’m thankful, but the ones that I do see hurt. I think we all just need a reminder to be kind to one another. Please remember the golden rules we were all taught: treat people the way that you want to be treated. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. That’s all I have to say for today, but I’ll leave you with this- you are enough. I’m sending you all so much love! Thank you.” She blew a kiss to the phone and waved before turning the camera off.

Almost immediately, fans started outpouring love to the third queen.

Roseamongstthethorns: i just wanna know who said something mean to jane because we are going to have some words

Sixqueenswalkintoabar: @janeyseymour we love u pls know that

AnnieBoleyn: whos talkin shit on my janey. I’ll fight em for u

Jane rolled her eyes at the green queen’s comment before replying.

JaneySeymour: @annieboleyn, i’m just speaking in general terms. Also, language dear.

AnnieBoleyn: @janeyseymour i say what i want #sorrynotsorry

Catherine_Aragon: you chaotic gremlin @annieboleyn

Jane laughed a bit at what Catherine had commented when she saw a notification pop up. A direct message from the account that had left that one particularly nasty comment.

Stop acting like you don’t talk shit on people. All you did was talk shit on Anne in your last life. That’s what got you the “queenly position” that you clearly didn’t deserve in the first place. Right? Just shut up bitch.

And so, Jane shut up. She ended up deleting her last post where all she did was try to address the issue, something that the other queens did quite often. She almost deleted her entire page accidentally (or not-so-accidentally if you asked the third queen).

“Janey! What are you trying to do: delete your whole account?” Anne teased.

“N-No,” the silver queen stammered out. “I-I uh, was just trying to delete a post. I guess I just hit the wrong button. Could you show me how?” She feigned confusion. It worked- the blonde was always asking for social media guidance anyway.

Everyday, this hateful account would send her messages. And every single day, against her better judgement, she opened the messages. The silver queen would roll her eyes and try to go on with her day, but it was affecting her, and the other queens were starting to take notice.

“Mum?” Katherine tried to get her adoptive mother’s attention. “Are you okay?” She had glanced at Jane, who was staring at her phone with tears in her eyes.

“Hmm?” The blonde lifted her gaze to the pink haired queen. “Oh.” She blinked away the tears. “I’m just fine dear. Just-”

“Are you having some trouble reading what’s on your screen?” The fifth queen was trying to be helpful. It was known in the house that the blonde wasn’t the most educated when it came to reading and writing. It was also known that Jane sometimes had a hard time reading what was on her screen if she didn’t have her glasses. “Here. I can help you.”

“Oh no, it’s nothing. I just-” The blonde was interrupted when the youngest queen took the phone out of her hand and read over the message on the screen, a horrified look appearing on her face.

“This fucking account,” Katherine huffed.

“Kit,” Jane sighed, never one for cursing unless necessary.

“Mum, this is necessary. This account has been harassing all of us.”

“Have they really been?” Jane’s interest piqued. Kat nodded her head. “Interesting.”

Over the next few days, Jane stayed quiet on social media. She saw the tweets and the comments on her “most recent post” asking why she deleted the video of her talking about being kind. Before she made her next move, she had to speak to the other queens.

“Hey Lina?” Jane asked one night as she was making dinner, the first queen accompanying her.

“What’s up Jane?”

“Kat told me about this horrid account and how they’ve been sending all of us hate messages. Do you mind if I take a look at what they’ve been sending you?”

“If you want, but you have to promise you won’t go all Mum.”

“I- I can’t promise that, but I’ll do my best.” The Hispanic handed over her phone, the messages already on screen. The first queen knew the exact account she was alluding to.

Queenly my ass. If you were so queenly, Henry wouldn’t have gone through all of the trouble he went through to divorce your sorry ass.

“What the-”

“It’s really not a big deal mija. Whoever this is, they don’t matter. Just leave it be.”

“Annie?” Jane wandered into the second queen’s room as they were all winding down for bed that night.

“What’s up Janey? Need some makeup remover again?” the green queen laughed as she scrounged her room for the wipes that the third queen asked for every once in a while.

“Actually, no. I bought a big thing of them the other day. I came to ask about something else.”

“Oh. What’s up?” Anne unceremoniously threw herself down on her bed.

“Kit and Lina were telling me about this awful account that has been-”

“Do you want to see the messages?” The blonde nodded, and the green queen threw her phone at the blonde.

You deserved to be beheaded, you whore. You should’ve never been queen in the first place, chasing after the king and getting him to divorce Catherine. How does it feel to be so wanted for such a short amount of time before all you were was another body?

“Annie, know that is not true.”

“I know Janey. Why do you think I’ve just ignored it? He’s not worth any of our time anyway.”

“I mean, he’s going right against the entire reason for our show.”

“Yeah, but he’s just not worth it. Don’t go all Mama Bear on him, okay?” Jane shrugged.

“Cleves?” Jane made her way into the kitchen first thing in the morning. “Are you back from your run yet?” She pulled her robe close to her body, muffling a yawn as she reached for the coffee pot.

“Seymour, you’re up early,” the fourth queen noted as she walked in through the back door.

“Well you know we’re both the earliest risers. Anyway, I have a question for you.”

“You wanna see my phone to check for any messages from that one shit account on Instagram?”

“How- how did you know?” Jane sputtered, flabbergasted.

“I heard you talking to Aragon and Boleyn. Here.” Anna tossed the blonde her phone.

“I don’t have my glasses with me. Oh boy.” Jane squinted her eyes to see the text on the phone.

Ugly bitch. How’s it feel following the only queen he truly loved, only to be rejected 6 months later? Shouldn’t even be compared to the other five. No idea how you managed to get yourself into the group, you irrelevant bitch.

“What he said isn’t true Cleves. You earned your place here.”

“What he said isn’t far from the truth Seymour. I know I didn’t have it the worst. I arguably had it the best if we’re being honest.”

“Please don’t let what he said get to you.”

“Hey Cath?” Jane wandered into the writer’s room late at night, two mugs of tea in hand.

“What’s up Jane? Can't sleep?”

“Not really. I’ve had a few things on my mind lately.”

“That account that’s just been shitting on all of us lately?” The sixth queen looked at the blonde knowingly. Jane just nodded.

“Here.” Cathy handed over.

What other stories do you have to claim? How about the one where you allowed your husband to groom Elizabeth, Anne’s precious daughter, and you joined in? Why don’t you reclaim that one, you sick twisted bastard?

“He’s-” Jane started.

“He’s not wrong.”

“Anne’s forgiven you for that.”

“She has, but I’ll never forgive myself. Is there a reason you’re so invested in this one account?”

“They’ve sent some not so kind things to me in the past few days.”

“Hey Kat?” Jane nudged the girl sitting next to her. When she heard a hum, she continued, “Can you tell me what that one account was saying to you?”

“Oh, it’s really nothing far from what other hate messages I’ve gotten.”

“Can I see? Only if you want to show me. You don’t have to of course.” The pink haired queen silently passed her phone over. The blonde adjusted the glasses on her face before she began to read.

You whore. You deserved to die. And I hope you felt that axe come down on your neck.

“Oh my god.” Jane was disgusted.

Did you really think you posting a stupid video of yourself speaking about being kind would stop me? It won’t. You six are all terrible women and it’s honestly deplorable that you would paint yourselves to be angels and use your stories to embrace the power of women when you know you have no power. You never did. You were all terrible people in your past lives. There is no way you changed that much in your present life. Worthless bitches.

To say the blonde was fuming was an understatement.

The next day, Jane went live- something she had never done before. It took her a few tries, but she was able to figure it out without any help from her fellow queens.

“Hello sweet queendom,” Jane said sweetly as she still tried to adjust her camera. “The other queens are out for the day, so I figured I would go live. We’re just going to wait a bit until a few more people get here, but then I have something that I’d like to say.”

The third queen greeted as many fans as she could as they made her way into the live, but she kept her eyes peeled for the one account that was sending them all hatred. As soon as she saw them enter, the warmth and love that had been in her eyes vanished.

“Ah, okay. I think we can get this started.”

Roseamongstthethorns: Why did you delete the video of you telling people to spread kindness?

“Well Rose, that’s actually why you’re all here right now. I have something to say about the hate that the fellow queens and I have been getting. So listen up, because I’m only going to say this once. Do you hear that, instagrammer1549?” She knew she was being ballsy calling out this one particular account, but there were no names attached to the account. She wasn’t doing anything to put this person full of hatred in danger.

“We can all deal with some of the not so kind comments that are thrown our way. We as queens choose to ignore them and carry on with what we do because we love what we do. We support each other, and we hope that using our voices and sharing a part of our story will help empower other women to share their stories too. We’re all in this together. However, when you start coming at us for things that we couldn’t prevent, like... dying... let’s say, it is absolutely disgusting. Catherine couldn’t prevent being divorced. She handled that situation like a queen, even going as far to get down on her hands and knees and beg Henry to let her know what she did wrong. Anne refused the king for years. I couldn’t help that I died, and I certainly couldn’t help that my son, who you have no right to talk about, was plagued with a sickness that took him much too soon from this earth. You have no right to talk to Anna like that. She was beautiful then, and she is beautiful now. And even if she wasn’t so beautiful on the outside, she is so much more beautiful on the inside than you could ever be. You sending those comments does not help your case much. Katherine was forced into those relationships. She was a mere child, and we all know that children can not consent. How very dare you go and tell a young woman that you hope she felt it as the axe came down on her neck. What kind of, as you called Cathy, “sick, twisted bastard” says something like that to a nineteen year old? And finally, how dare you bring up horrid stories from our past and plague Cathy with the guilt of something that happened almost 500 years ago.”

Sixtudorqueens: okay Jane, go off. We support.

“None of us are perfect. We all know our imperfections, and we’ve all made peace with it. Yes, we all did some very questionable things in our past. What happened then, while we all are horrified at our past behaviors, we have forgiven each other because we know the truth of our story. We did what we had to do to survive. But, the six of us as a group have made such wonderful process in this life, and we are truly coming out of it better than we ever could have by ourselves. Those girls are my family. Say what you want about me. I don’t care. I have a family to help me build myself back up when haters tear me down and my heart is broken. But, so help me god, if I hear of one more person coming after any of our children or my sisters again for something so personal- well,” Jane laughed bitterly. “-quite frankly, you don't want to know what will happen. Keep your disgusting comments to yourself.”

The comment section blew up, and the amount of likes her live was getting was astronomical.

Sixqueenswalkintoabar: okay mama seymour, GO OFF!

Roseamongsttthethorns: YES JANE. @instagrammer1549, there is a special place in hell for you.

Catherine_Aragon: Jane I thought we talked about not going Mum.

“Lina, I bit my tongue for long enough. It had to be said. On that note,” Jane paused to take a deep breath, the warmth that usually radiated off of her returning. “For the rest of the queendom who has shown us nothing but love and kindness, thank you. We really do see every message, comment and twitt-”

Sixtudorqueens: tweets*

“Tweet,” Jane corrected herself. “So thank you for that kindness. For now, I’m ending this live, but I do hope that you will all remember what I’ve said. Please, only spread kindness. That’s the, as Anne and Kat say, “vibe” that we’ve created for the queendom. If you don’t have anything nice to say, perhaps just don’t say anything at all. Please remember that you have a voice. Please remember to use that voice to spread kindness and love, not hatred. The world already has enough of that in the world. No need to create more.” With that, Jane ended the live.

“So,” Anne bit back a smirk at the dinner table that night.

“We all saw your live Seymour,” Anna bit the bullet and spoke about what they were all thinking.

“Kind of impressed you could figure that out without one of us Mum,” Katherine smiled slightly. “I'm proud of you.”

“What I said had to be said,” Jane affirmed as she took a bite of her dinner. “You don’t come after my family and not feel the wrath of “Mama Seymour” or whatever the hell I’ve been labelled as.”

#six the musical #six musical #six fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfic #six musical fanfic #jane seymour

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longinglook · 4 years ago

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I may or may not have spent my entire Sunday binge watching all of I told sunset about you and Gaya sa pelikula and now I have so many thoughts and feelings that I need to write about them so here we go! Under a read more (if tumblr allows me to) because it’s 2k words hehe

First of all, I knew next to nothing about both shows before starting them. I had seen a couple of gifs here and there, but really had no idea what I was in for.

I started with I told sunset about you, which has 3 episodes out of 5 out. All I knew is that it was going to be beautiful and possibly sad, and it was. Everything about this show is so high quality, from the audio to the dialogue to the locations to the acting, just wow. The production is better than a lot of movies I’ve seen, and every technical aspect is perfect. I am really loving the plot so far as well, I find the childhood friendship to stubborn rivalry to grown up friendship again very relatable. I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of non straight folks to develop an extremely close bond with a same sex friend when you’re too young to realize what you’re actually feeling for them until you’re a lot older and suddely the jealousy and possessivenes all make sense.

I love the recurring themes sprinkled throughout the episodes, starting from the chinese vocabulary that expresses the core thoughts of the two main characters: rival, intimacy, secret, male protagonist, as promised. They could easily be the episode titles, or the names of imaginary sections the show could be divided into. It’s a great way to integrate metaphors and deeper meaning into the plot.

That’s how most of the communication goes in this show, deep emotions are never conveyed through words because words are scary and loud and they can’t be taken back once they’re out there. The plot advances though stares and gestures and touch and gorgeous shots of the landscape. The pace is slow with hour-long episodes that could each be a movie of their own. This worried me a bit before starting, and I have to admit that at times I struggled to stay focused, especially during scenes that set the mood but don’t do much plot-wise. This is just a personal preference, though, and in no way I see it as a flaw.

The dancing around each other the main characters do, sometimes literal, is frustrating but it determines an emotional build up that’s just starting to reach its peak. This is one of those shows that has me screaming if only they talked to each other, but the silences and unspoken words are so well directed and acted that it works. I struggle a lot with keeping in mind that they’re still in high school, they’re very young and I can’t expect them to act rationally just yet.

I was really worried about Teh possibly going the insufferable Theory-of-love-khai way, and I am still not 100% sold on him. When he started helping Oh-aew again it felt like he was just doing it to make himself feel better about the whole thing. It was frustrating to see him so possessive and jealous while also so deeply in denial about his own feelings, to the point where he had me rooting for Bas instead. He was getting better, but then he fled at the end of episode 3 and now I have no clue what’s going to happen next. About this, I really have no idea if they’re going for a happy ending or a sad one. I’m really hoping it will be good, because so far there has been barely any emotional payoff for all the repressed longing and misunderstanding the show has put us through.

I do like their dynamic a lot though, I have a weak spot for childhood friends reconnecting and an ever weaker spot for informal mentor/mentee relationships. Oh-aew asking Teh to tutor him until he passes the admission exam was an almost exact mirror of Yuri on ice Yuri begging Victor to be his coach until he retires and I loved that a lot.

Now on to the one issue I have with this show: it feels too much like an art film. It reminds me of Moonlight and Call me by your name, in the way that I wasn’t able to connect with those movies because they are too perfect. They are so beautiful and carefully crafted that I can’t fully immerse myself in them. There’s a filter that stops me from relating to the characters and constantly reminds me that this is not reality. It’s pretty, it’s extremely well done, but it feels like art. It has some quirks, some scenes that feel too artificial. One scene in particular, the one where Teh buries his head in the paper Oh-aew wrote with his coconut scented pen to sniff it, which is a direct parallel to Call me by your name, bothered me in particular. Just as it felt over-the-top and purposefully weird in the movie, so it feels in the show. It’s a way of showcasing how a confused teen deals with attraction he barely understands, it’s raw and animalistic in a way, but it’s so quirky that all it accomplishes is to remind me that I’m watching an lgbt show. It makes me wonder if a scene like this would make sense in a straight relationship because here it seems to highlight how different and primal his attraction is. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that I have a problem with media showcasing queerness though peculiar, purposefully awkward scenes like these instead of normal kissing and cuddling.

Overall, I can’t wait to see how this show ends and I still think it’s one of the best bls to air in 2020, if not ever. It’s refreshing to see something with a big budget used well! So far my rating is 8/10, which I know is a lot lower than what everyone else seems to think but it’s still very much subject to change! Just hoping they won’t pull a Make our days count, but I doubt they’ll go there.

And now Gaya sa pelikula. Wow. Again, I knew next to nothing about this show before watching, and I was coming from a 3 hour I told sunset about you binge watch, so the bar was pretty high.

And boy, did this show deliver. I was blown away by the depth and the humor of it. It feels like the writers had fun taking all sorts of common tropes and stereotypes just to show everyone how well they can be evolved and made complex. Two strangers who somehow find themselves sharing an apartment sounds like the start of so many fanfictions out there, but it’s so well executed and interesting that you don’t even stop to think about how weak the premises for their meeting are. It doesn’t matter and it’s not even that far-fetched, either. The sister and the neighbor are also two characters that start off as extra stereotyped, but in just a few scenes they unveil an incredible depth and backstory. It blew me away.

Each character is so realistic. Everything they do and say makes sense, they all have their reasons and their past and they react accordingly, it’s so coherent. It’s impressive how everything takes place inside the house and you barely realize it because things happen and the plot moves anyways, and the way information about external events and people is conveyed is so seamless that you don’t even notice it. In only 7 episodes (so far) they have managed to give everyone a complex background and personality through the use of objects and small details and wow don’t get me started on the music.

The soundtrack is SO GOOD. I never really pay attention to music in shows but it plays a very important role here in my opinion and, well, it’s exactly the kind of music I like listening to and ahhh I just spent 4 hours playing the first kiss song on loop so I might be biased. Right from the start in episode 1, when Karl gives in to Vlad’s music and starts dancing to it, it’s established that it’s an important element to the mood of each scene. I love how the dancing I talked about for I told sunset about you comes back here, but while I saw it as a hesitant dancing around each other there, here it’s the opposite, it’s freeing and it’s about accepting yourself. And the end of episode 6 highlights this, with the beautiful quote “You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear and shame.” It made me cry a looooot.

I think the development of their relationship is masterfully done. It doesn’t happen too quickly nor too slowly. Karl goes through some needed shocks that act as his wake up call. When I’m watching bl shows I care the most about them feeling real and relatable. I don’t want to feel like they were written by a straight person trying to guess what it’s like to be gay. Now I didn’t look anything up about the Gaya sa pelikula writers, but I’d be very surprised if they were straight. I can relate to both Karl and Vlad for different aspects of their stories and their worries and thoughts. There was one part in particular that hit so close that I had to take a few breaks because it hurt too much. I am a lesbian, I’ve had relationship with a girl that lasted over a year, I am out to some friends but not all. I never came out to my parents, who are both very open minded and friends with a lot of gay people and would love me just as much if I told them, and yet I can’t. It’s not just that, I am terrified by the idea of them already knowing or being able to guess. When Karl freaked out over his uncle guessing, it hit me so hard because I’ve felt the same way so many times.

Episode 7 was amazing. I hate badly written drama the most, and 99% of shows can’t come up with any good reason for drama but they have to put it in there anyways and it sucks. This was the complete opposite, I adored it and I say this as a lover of fluff. It feels right, I think it’s an issue that would come up between two people like them. They are both right and the only thing that could happen there is what actually went down. I definitely think things will be fixed by the end and I am looking forward to it, but I am very glad this issue was included because it’s so important and so true to many lgbt people’s lives.

Another aspect I absolutely adored are the multiple references to lgbt theory and language, and Vlad has some of the best lines I’ve ever heard coming from a bl. When he tells Karl not to be afraid of the word, when he explains that “you don’t look gay” isn’t a compliment, when he scolds his sister for not acknowledging the things she used to say to him by covering them up with her ally act, those are all such important and educative moments that I hope everyone listens to. I love that Vlad is not correcting some ignorant bad guy, but it’s his accepting and loving friends and family that make the mistakes, because sometimes being supportive your own way isn’t enough if you’re not actively learning from the ones you want to support.

This is a 10/10 for me right now. I can’t find anything I don’t like about it. It never feels boring, it never feels overdone, it never feels cheap or unoriginal. It went straight to the top of my favorite bls.

And now I can’t help but compare the two a bit, because yes they are two different shows but right now the relationships they portray have reached the same point: there has been a climax and now the one who is more confused about his sexuality is panicking and taking a step back. It’s a coincidence that I watched both shows on the same day when their last aired episodes end in such a similar way, but it really leads me to compare the two. I don’t want to put them one against each other or say which one did it better because that’s not the point of this, they are both two amazing and important shows who are excelling in what they’re doing.

Gaya sa pelikula is down to earth, it’s explicit and it’s straight to the point in explaining what’s going on inside each character’s head. It feels like watching real people deal with real struggles. I told sunset about you is a lot more subtle and quiet, and since we don’t really have a clear insight in the characters’ heads sometimes it’s hard to completely understand what’s going on with them. It’s a completely different way of narrating, and while Gaya sa pelikula makes me feel like I’m a part of the events, I told sunset about you feels like I’m just spectating from an outside perspective. They are different choices, but one of them ends up feeling a lot more emotional to me than the other.

To wrap it up, I highly recommend both shows and I can’t wait to see how they’ll end! They are both among the best shows of the year, both free of all those annoyingly stereotyped characters and plot points that most bls tend to overuse.

#meta #gaya sa pelikula #like in the movies #i told sunset about you #text

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ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au · 4 years ago

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my thoughts on The Umbrella Academy S2 [spoilers ahead]

so putting all my thoughts down was really hard. i decided to do it per character instead of like per appearance/episode - sorry if this is kinda hard to follow. this is also VERY LONG... hence the keep reading but here is a small taste -

he really overestimates his ability to time-travel

she told those men that she blew their mind + their heads literally blew up - mine about did too

FIVE

he really overestimates his ability to time-travel

k - he really needs to learn to TALK to his siblings more

but also he needs to work on his talking skills...

seeing five just mass murder people is highly amusing because he’s in the body of a 13yr old

also but how soft five was with vanya - i cry

i wanted a mention of dolores but alas only klaus remembered

though i did enjoy the continued coffee obsession - even if it was subtle

ALLISON

she told those men that she blew those their mind + their heads literally blew up - mine about did too

the second she walked into that diner - i was pAniCKing

the way those women were READY to throw down when allison ran into their shop - we stan them all (one of them was wielding a piping hot curling iron)

her husband ray is the sweetest of men + just what she needed before having to go back to twentieth century/glamour

i really liked the way they showed the consequences of allison using her powers - how she quickly slips back into bad habits. how it makes her into someone she doesn’t like

i’m really glad they didn’t forget claire - i was gonna be mad if she wasn’t mentioned

LUTHER

i stan luther hargreeves + i run the luther hargreeves protection squad cuz all of you are meanies who like to blame him for everything when in reality the real problem is their father

controversial opinion that i will be making a much larger post on but i ship allison x luther - they aren’t biologically related, they were only raised as siblings, there is 0% wrong with them falling in love

luther didn’t bother me in s1 like he did all y’all but that’s cause i’m mature enough to realize all of the siblings are fucked up - so the fact they made him more likeable this season is so nice. maybe ya’ll will take a chill pill on your luther hate-train

it was very interesting seeing luther so apathetic for the first bit of the season, when he had such a hero-complex last season

listen his talk with vanya in the barn was amazing - some people might be upset about the gun but the last time any of them saw her she had just blown up the fucking moon mkay?

he apologized for failing as a brother

for not being there

and he even said he didn’t care if vanya was bullshitting him

last thing - luther underestimating his self-importance now because of how he overestimated his self-importance in s1. i love that psychological circle

DIEGO

him being in the nuthouse makes perfect sense - i won’t lie

his role-reversal with luther this season was so *chef’s kiss*

TEAM ZERO *gives diego the fist-bump he deserved*

the moment lila slapped him when he leaned in for a kiss was the funniest shit ever - ‘i don’t understand you’ - then she kisses him - i was cackling

she gave him so much shit + i love that about her

when reginald yelled at him + it made his stutter come back for the fist time since he was a kid - FEELINGS

so in that last battle when diego redirected those bullets - that’s a power of his in the comics isn’t it? or is that just his power? projectile redirection? cause that was a confusing ass way to introduce that. just saying

him interacting with grace this season was like... hard cuz it’s not really her

KLAUS

the fact he made a cult is just so... klaus

he very much so looks like a hippie jesus

i’m kinda glad they showed him relapse because in a lot of media once someone gets clean it’s all butterflies + roses + unicorns out the ass. in reality - relapses happen

the family still isn’t very nice to klaus but we can work on that - they are better than before. it’s a work in progress

klaus trying to stop dave from dying but instead moving up his enlistment date

that diner scene made me hurt

BEN

the fact he is so over getting klaus out of things - I'M So tIrED oF YouR shIt Klaus

WE GOT KLAUS’S LEVITATING ABILITY BUT IT WAS JUST BEN AND I LOVE THIS ADLGFJGKLSDFJG

when the two of them were just fighting on the side of the road - i cackled

ben being the one to talk vanya down? what we deserved

‘hug me while i go’ - i cry

THE ENDING WITH BEN BEING THAT LITTLE SHIT HEEL BUT ALIVE

i can’t wait for jackass alive ben next season

VANYA

poor girl is awake for a whole ass 5 seconds before getting hit by a car

i really thought vanya was pretending to have amnesia

may i say that s1 vanya dressed far too gay to be heterosexual + s2 vanya did not disappoint

as a gay i appreciate the fact the writers heard all of us saying vanya is 100% gay + being like ‘ok sure’

it makes me kinda sad how happy vanya was with no memories vs s1

her connection with harlan was just so - amazing

also, i think harlan always had powers + that’s why vanya was able to pull a moses at the lake + jesus harlan back to life

i liked sissy. i also liked how she gave us a glimpse into a very realistic thing that used to happen to women who loved women. they would marry men because it was the norm. they’d also have affairs.

and her choice to stay was one made by a good mother - she was putting harlan first. every good mom puts their child first. even if they so desperately want to be selfish.

in good news - vanya now knows she likes vagina!

the fact they legit used LSD on vanya while she was being electrocuted was A LOT

seeing inside vanya’s mind was super interesting - especially when she remembered + how she was trapped inside the white violin

she wanted to die - let’s all take that in for a second

she ASKED for her siblings help + they didn’t disappoint for ONCE

her POWER at the farm... she leveled an ARMY

MISC.

i stan herb + elliot

the handler is super conniving - i wasn’t expecting to dislike her this much

ngl i was rooting for fish-man

lila had me convinced she was crazy the first half ngl - also i guessed she was one of their lost siblings when she first fought five

the three swedes weren’t as fun as hazel + cha-cha but still decent

reginald continues to be #worstDadever

anyone else a little confused why he peeled his face off? s1 flashback he was in human form on his home-planet but apparently it’s a mask???

we saw the original grace!!! she was just as perfect as the robot version too!

BABY POGO IN HIS LITTLE JAMMIES MADE ME WANT TO SNUGGLE HIM SO BADLY - that is all

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy season 2 #spoilers #the umbrella academy spoilers #tua #tua2 spoilers #tua spoilers #vanya hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #allison hargreeves #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #baby pogo #grace #hazel #cha-cha

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ojoboy · 4 years ago

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han seungwoo babyfever au

genre: han seungwoo x reader, fluff, domestic bliss

word count: 4k

plot: Your cousin asks you to babysit his children (14 y.o. Dongpyo & 13 months old baby sister Dohye) to celebrate the anniversary with his wife. Your boyfriend volunteeringly helps you out. Oh oh looks like you two are about to catch baby fever.

a/n: I finally decided to watch Broduce during quarantine although I already knew the outcome because I was too moved by some videos of Yunseong and Jinhyuk :( Anyways when Seungwoo said that if he had a son he’d like him to be like Dongpyo, I was like: say no more! (I hope you don’t mind that I made Dongpyo younger for this)

from: capt. seungwoo <3 [3:17pm]

wanna do something later? i miss u :(

to: capt. seungwoo <3 [3:19pm]

it’s been only two days... but i miss u too :(

and i don’t know if i have time today. i’m babysitting Jaesung’s children tonight because they are celebrating their anniversary and might come back late

from: capt. seungwoo <3 [3:19pm]

i could come by and help you out?

i’m meeting seungsik now but i definitely can come right afterwards!

to: capt. seungwoo <3 [3:20pm]

yeeess, i’d love that!

—

5:07pm. The streets are filled with cars rushing home and it almost looks like they are following the sun, eager to come home and finally rest. You just finished stowing away things in your small apartment that could be possibly dangerous around babies, now lazily scrolling through your Instagram feed and liking every other post. Then the doorbell finally rang and you rushed to the door to buzz them in. Almost a minute later there was a family of four standing in your living room.

“Sorry for being late,” your cousin said as he carefully put his bag down, “traffic, you know.” “It’s fine,” you replied and crouched down and shook little Dohye’s hands, beaming at the baby in the stroller. “Well, someone’s in a good mood today, aren’t you little sunshine?” Whether she did understand you or not, the little girl simply responded with a cheerful giggle that could melt anyone’s heart.

“She’s been energetic all day long. I hope she won’t give you a hard time,” her mother told you while undoing the buckles and taking the small child in her arms. Dongpyo was already sitting down on the couch next to the big black bag, seemingly busy on his phone.

“Everything you need for Dohye is in the bag. Diapers, baby food and even some toys to keep her entertained.” Your attention diverted back to your cousin who was going through the bag to check all items. “All right, thank you.”

After checking the final things with you, Hyejin took your hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. “Thank you so much for doing this!” “Yes, thank you. You are the best!” Your cousin engulfed you in a hug and then walked over to his children. “Behave well and help Y/N out, okay?” he playfully ruffled Dongpyo’s hair and bent down to kiss the little girl on his lap, followed by his wife showering the two with affection. A little annoyed like most teenagers in puberty the young boy told his parents off.

Halfway through the door Hyejin turned around to say, “Call us if there are any problems!”

“Don’t worry, Seungwoo is also coming. I’m sure we’ll manage,” you reassured them while ushering them out, “Just enjoy your anniversary!” "Oh, say hello from us then, yeah?” Jaesung waved one last time before the door closed.

“Finally!” the fourteen years-old exclaimed, making you chuckle. Seeing how his sister started squirming in his lap and hitting his face, you offered to take her while Dongpyo dutifully laid out her blanket on your floor and set up a few toys. “So, your boyfriend is also coming?”

“Yup, I think you’ve only met him once. Remember when we picked you up from dance practice because your mom was in labor? He drove us to the hospital.”

“Oh yeah, but isn’t he too cool for you?”

“Hey, wouldn’t be the other way around?” You played along. “Dohye agrees with me.”

“Nah, he really looked cool driving with one hand and calming you down while you were nervous as a cat.”

Just when you were about to retort the doorbell rang again as if your boyfriend knew you were talking about him. “Dongpyo can you get that, please?” Without further ado the boy got up from the comfy spot and buzzes Seungwoo in. A few moments later he enters, dressed in black ripped jeans and a white tee which was mainly covered by the purple The Rolling Stones hoodie (you got it for him as a birthday present and he claimed it was his favorite piece of clothing ever since).

“Hey guys, I brought some cake!” Seungwoo proudly lifts the white bag with his usual endearing smile. He fist-bumped Dongpyo and walked over to press a chaste kiss on your cheek before he set the cake down on the kitchen counter.

“You should marry him,” Dongpyo’s ogling eyes followed your boyfriend first, then his body. Eager to have some cake, his hands were already reaching out for the white bag when you stopped him. “Dongpyo stop. Let's save the cake for dessert, alright?”

With a pout, the boy looks up at the older guy in hope of him being able to convince you otherwise but the latter apologetically shook his head, “Sorry pal, you heard the boss.” He then proceeded to carefully stored the cake in your refrigerator as Dongpyo dramatically put his head between his hands.

—

About half an hour into the babysitting you were sitting down on your floor, watching Dohye grabbing colorful wooden bricks and stacking them on top of each other. Sometimes she would even chuck them in your direction as if to tell you that you should do the same.

Meanwhile the two boys sat comfortably on the couch as Dongpyo showed some of his dance covers on his phone but also a few viral video clips he saw on social media, both unable to hold back their laughter. By now they have become close mentally - as well as physically. They were leaning onto each other, leaving no space between them, and Seungwoo had one of his arms draped over the boy’s narrow shoulders. It was a position you were very familiar with.

“Hey Y/N, have you seen this video of a ferret dancing? It’s soooo cute,” Dongpyo leaned down from the couch to show you his phone screen whereas Seungwoo held onto his shirt so he wouldn’t fall down. Mimicking the ferret’s movements with Dohye’s rattle in your hand, you answered, “Yes, I replayed it so, so many times and even sent it to Seungwoo.”

Enticed by the rattle, the little baby dropped the blue brick and started crawling towards you. With open arms you welcome the girl as she climbed in your lap, willingly handing the rattle over. Immediately Dohye aggressively shook the toy and filled the room not only with rhythmic rattling but also joyous laughter.

Feeling your lower back starting to hurt from sitting on the ground, you scooted over to lean against the couch with Dohye safely pulled against your front. “Wow, this is funny haha!”

When you craned your neck to see what Dongypo was laughing about, you realized that Seungwoo’s eyes had been set on you. It seemed like he was in a daze, the way he smiled so fondly at the sight of you holding and playing with the baby.

The image of you and him having a baby of your own crossed his mind ever since he walked through the door today and saw you two together and truth to be told he liked it - a lot.

His hand then slowly reached out for your head and gently stroked your hair, careful not to get any strands tangled with his rings. Enjoying the calming feeling, you returned his sweet gesture with a genuine smile that made his heart flutter like the first time he met you.

This intimate moment didn’t last long, though, as Dohye suddenly began to cry. “Oh no, what’s wrong, Dohye?” You picked her tiny body up and smelled her diaper. “Well, it doesn’t seem like you need your diaper changed.”

“I bet she’s hungry, Y/N” Dongpyo said as he put his phone down. “Can you get the baby food from bag, please?” You slowly got up from your place and rocked the girl back and forth in hope of calming her down. “Shh, don’t cry. Your big brother is getting your food right.”

“I got it! It says that it needs to be heated up in the microwave for a minute to a minute and a half,” the boy read the instructions and walked over to your kitchen. However, he struggled to open the glass so Seungwoo offered to help him, “Here, let me.”

He then opened the little glass on his first try and proceeded to put it in your microwave as he already knew his way around your kitchen. “Oh, I think this might be a little too hot?” Seungwoo worried after taking the glass out and rolling it between his hands.

“Let’s stir the heat out and wait a little then... Dongpyo, is there perhaps a baby bib in the bag too?”

All of you made your way back into the living room, you sitting down on the couch with a still crying baby and joined by Seungwoo while Dongpyo looked for the baby bib. Tying it around her neck turned out to be a bit harder than expected since she started to squirm around.

After finally succeeding, you decided to switch with Seungwoo so you could feed the little girl. You carefully blew on the small spoon as Dohye watched you with big eyes and drool coating her mouth already. Ten minutes later the glass is empty and a big content smile grazed the girl’s lips.

“Wow, you eat really well, huh?” You wiped her mouth with the bib and booped her little nose. “You come after your dad, I guess.”

—

“Are you sure you don’t need me to help you cook?”

“I’ll manage. Just watch the kids, honey” You couldn’t help but giggle at your own cheesy words and squeezed his muscular arm before sending him back into the living room. As soon as you calmed Dohye down, the next kid started to complain about being hungry. This whole situation made you feel like it was your little family.

Before you could indulge further into your imagination, you diverted your attention to the ingredients in front of you to cook pasta. While the noodles were boiling, you were busy cutting onions and carrots for the sauce when suddenly a pair of arms wrapped themselves around your middle. Shortly after his head hovered next to yours, “Looks good, babe.”

“There is nothing to see yet,” you playfully nudged him, yet he pulled you closer against his body. “Wasn’t talking about the food,” Seungwoo then cheekily pressed his lips against the side of your face and proceeded to steal a few slices of carrots, running back before you could stop him.

Looking over your shoulder you saw that he was sharing the stolen goods with none other than Dongpyo, both a giggling mess. In your eyes the two were like a real father-son duo and you began to wonder what it would be like if you two were to start a family. A blush bloomed on your cheeks, yet you pushed the thought back to focus on cooking again.

As soon as you served the pasta, Dongpyo came rushing and very eager to dig in. You left the TV on and put on a children’s show to entertain Dohye while the rest of you enjoyed dinner.

“I’m so fuuuuull! Thank you for the meal, Y/N,” Dongpyo said as he lazily rubbed his tummy and closed his eyes for moment. “Too full for the cake, though?” Seungwoo asked the boy across him, raising his eyebrow. At his words, Dongpyo’s eyes opened with a twinkle in them, “Never!”

While you put the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, Seungwoo was already taking out new plates and of course: the long-anticipated cake. “I hope you like cherries, Dongpyo,” your boyfriend presented three chunky pieces of cake covered in pink and white frosting with little cherries on top. “Voila, the cake is really delicious. I tried one piece with Seungsik today,” he winked at you and forked a bite-sized piece, raising it to your mouth.

You welcomed the sweet taste as the frosting melted on your tongue, humming in agreement. Just when the three of you sat down on the couch again, the baby started crawling towards your boyfriend and grabbed his sturdy leg to pull herself up, her eyes set on the pink and white delicacy. Seungwoo quickly put his plate on the coffee table and picked the girl easily up.

“Aigoo, do you want some?” You two only laughed when she stretched her short arms towards your plate and almost lunged at it, only to be held back by your co-babysitter. You scooped a small amount of the frosting on your pinky and placed it against her plump limps which she gladly took.

“Oh Y/N, be careful of her-”

“Ouch!”

Dongpyo’s warning came a little too late as you massaged your poor finger, while Dohye somehow managed to giggle innocently yet diabolically at the same time (in that moment she reminded you a lot of her brother).

—

“Do you want to see my new dance routine?”

“Weren’t you too full to move just now?” You questioned the young boy.

“It’s all good now. I don’t think I will throw up.”

“Well, that’s very reassuring.”

Soon your small living room turned into a stage as Dongpyo prepared several dance covers of girl groups. His little sister started to jump up and down on the couch, with Seungwoo holding her arms, to cheer him on. He even managed to persuade Seungwoo to join him who acted hesitant at first but matched the teenager’s energy once he got up.

You and Dohye clapped as soon as the little showcase ended. The two guys plumped down on the couch, slightly out of breath. Seungwoo wasted no time to strip himself off his purple hoodie, leaving him in his loose white tee. The tattoos adorning his milky skin caught the younger one’s attention, “Wow Seungwoo, you have tattoos? Y/N, your boyfriend is soooo cool!”

He then put his index finger under his chin, “I think I’m getting tattoos, too, when I’m older. They look so cool on you.” At this you two couldn’t stifle your laughter, earning a confused look from Dongpyo. But who could blame you? It was very hard to imagine such a sweet, baby-faced boy to get tattoos inked on his skin.

“Sure thing, buddy,” Seungwoo ruffled the boy’s hair, unable to hold back his smile.

“Oh, but it hurts a lot, right? Maybe I won’t get any after all...” Dongpyo leaned back against the couch, hugging the cushion tighter.

—

You didn’t know how much time had passed when you took care of the mess in your kitchen but when you returned to your living room, you discovered a sleeping baby lying on top of your boyfriend’s chest. Your heart melted at this sight and the corners of your mouth immediately tugged upwards. Wanting to capture the sweet moment, you took your phone out and wasted no time to get a few shots of the two, careful not to disturb them.

Just when you crouched down next to the couch to get an up-close shot, your knee joints betrayed you. The pop seemingly woke up your boyfriend from his slumber as his eyes slowly opened and you were met with warm, brown orbs.

Catching you red-handed, Seungwoo cracked a smile and whispered, “What are you doing, babe?”

“You two look so adorable, I just couldn’t resist!” You smiled sheepishly and began to stroke his hair with your free hand, pushing a few strands away from his eyes.

“Mh, as much as I’m enjoying this, I think my back might kill me soon,” he softly spoke with his eyes closed again, welcoming your gentle touch. “C’mon, let’s put her in my bed.”

Seungwoo clutched the little girl closer to his chest and slowly got up without making any noise. He pushed her a little upwards so she could rest her head on his shoulder. You walked ahead, opening the two doors for him, and pulled the blanket aside to let him put Dohye down. Then you tucked her safely in and placing your stuffed bunny, which Seungwoo had won for on your first arcade date, next to her.

The two of you sneaked out of your bedroom, leaving the door ajar just in case she woke up. Now standing in the small hallway, Seungwoo wrapped his arms around you from behind, putting just a little bit of his weight on you. “My back still hurts from your small couch; you should carry me like this,” you could basically hear his pout above your head.

“Shut up, my couch is not that small. It’s just because you are stupidly tall!” You hushed him as you wriggled in his arms to turn around and playfully pinched his cheeks. There was a shift in his eyes; usually he would retort that you were ‘stupidly small’ but this time he just gazed at you, eyes filled with adoration.

With your chests pressing against each other, you were not quite sure whether it was your heart that was racing or his. Maybe it was both of yours but it didn’t matter, anyways.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked in a small voice, your index finger now tracing his dimple instead.

“I was just wondering, what it would be like if we had a baby,” Seungwoo confessed and smiled innocently at you. Heart skipping a beat, you were slightly flustered by his unexpected answer and felt your ears heat up.

“You would be a great dad.” Before he could react, you got on your tiptoes and simultaneously pulled his face a little bit down to meet him with a brief, yet sweet peck on the lips.

Once you released his face and let your hands slide down to the juncture between his shoulders and neck, you felt his arms tighten around your body and tugging you even closer to him. Being not satisfied with the peck, he leaned in for another kiss.

His warm lips melted against yours and you felt the butterflies erupt in your stomach like it was the very first time. As your lips moved against his, you could feel him smiling into the kiss. There was still a faint taste of cherries lingering on his lips adding to the sweet and addictive kiss. For a moment you forgot about everything because being in his arms just felt right.

“Wow, it’s like my parents never left,” a sudden voice exclaimed from behind you. The two of you shyly pulled away from each other and looked at the intruder. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to use the bathroom.”

With that being said, Dongpyo quickly disappeared into your bathroom. You were slightly embarrassed by getting caught but to make you blush even more, Seungwoo then said, “I want to have a kid like him later, haha.”

—

Their parents came back around 9pm. Dohye was still fast asleep in your bedroom, by now cuddling with your stuffed bunny, while the three of you watched an episode of Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bokjoo.

“You guys came back early! How was your dinner?”, you asked them as you let the couple in. “Oh, it was wonderful and the food was really delicious. You two should check out the restaurant sometime,” Hyejin gushed. “Anyways, we called it a night early because I missed my babies too much.”

She wasted no time to pull her son into her side and ruffle his fluffy hair, eliciting a soft whine from him.

“Ah, I almost forgot! We’ve got you a little gift,” the woman nudged her husband who pulled out a small white box from his paper bag. “It’s from our favorite chocolatier. But it’s only a small gift so whenever you have time, come over and we will make you a nice meal to thank you properly, yeah?”

“Alright, let’s go home now. I think we’ve bothered you enough for tonight,” your cousin chimed after putting his little girl in her carrier and giving the two of you a hug.

Once you closed the door behind them, Seungwoo pulled you into his arms again. Just before he could say anything, a yawn escaped his mouth.

“Are you tired?”

“Mhm, just a little bit.”

He rested his forehead against yours, eyes lovingly gazing into yours again like earlier.

“Do you wanna stay the night?”

“Sure, I’d love to.”

Seungwoo rummaged through your closet, looking for a comfortable shirt amidst all the t-shirts that you’ve either got or stole from him. Finally, his eyes set on a grey oversized tee which you actually could wear as a dress. Stripping off his slightly sweaty shirt, he welcomed the new soft fabric that no longer smelled like his cologne but by now had picked up your sweet scent.

When he joined you in the bathroom, you were already brushing your teeth whilst scrolling through your Instagram feed. He made his way behind you, smiling at your reflection in the mirror because the pink shirt that he’s been missing for the past week just happened to be engulfing you in that moment. But how could be upset when you looked like an angel to him?

Before you could grab your hair yourself, Seungwoo gently pushed them back and held them for you so they wouldn’t get in your way until you were finished with your routine. Once he started with his routine, you sat down on the edge of your bathtub. Waiting for him, you went through your gallery and took a look at the photos from earlier again.

“What’chu shmiling at?” He asked you with a mouth full of foam, watching through the mirror.

“Just the pics of you and Dohye sleeping together. They are really cute, I think I’m gonna post one of them!” You excitedly stood up and stayed by his side, holding your phone in front of him whilst swiping and showing him your favorite snapshots.

After he was done with his own routine, the two of you wasted no time to snuggle up in the comfort of your bed. Like every other night you rested your head on his shoulder with his arms secured round your frame as if you could easily slip away anytime. A pleasant silence fell over you, only your shallow breaths were audible.

Your eyes were fixated on a sliver of light that shone through your blinds, unable to close your eyes and succumb to the sweet promise of sleep yet. The image of Seungwoo and the kids wouldn’t leave you alone. Sure, you’ve seen him plenty times playing with his own nephew already but today felt different.

“I was just wondering, what it would be like if we had a baby.”

His words kept repeating and repeating themselves in your head.

“What’s on your mind?” Seungwoo spoke so softly, it was barely a whisper. He started gently stroke your hair as he slightly turned his head towards you, his lips now almost brushing your temple.

“Just thinking about what you said earlier...” You tilted your head, meeting his eyes in the dark. “You know, what it’d be like if we had a baby, and I can’t stop thinking about it – but in a good way!”

If you had looked a little bit closer, you would have seen that his gaze softened even more at you rambling about how he would spoil the baby to death or you two dressing up your child like a model, making it the most fashionable baby out there.

“The thought of a baby really doesn’t scare me anymore. Especially when I have you by my side,” you confessed. Instead of teasing you for corny confession, he pushed his body off the bed and hovered above you, his head already diving in to claim your lips.

Seungwoo didn’t say a word during your ramble but he put all his feelings into the kiss and you knew – he didn’t need to say it aloud because you knew he felt the same. His right hand caressed your face, thumb going over the apple of your cheek.

“I really like the sound of that,” his lips stretched into a smile before the landed right on your temple.

Suddenly his smile turned smug, “We could try making one right now.”

“Oh, shut up!”

—

The next morning you checked your notifications only to find yourself chuckling at them.

ssunhwa: oh I didn’t know I was an aunt already

pyopyoson: huh is that black mob of hair mine? anyways, I want pics with him too

seungsmile_: just get married already

130 notes · View notes

lumosinlove · 5 years ago

Text

Sweater Weather

part ii

It was always slightly awkward, getting to wherever the rest of the team wanted to go for their dinners. Most of them carpooled together, but Remus wasn’t in the team group chat and so there was no way that was going to happen. He was left to take the underground train and hope it was on time, which it never was, and then walk the extra fifteen minutes. The Three Broomsticks wasn’t ideal for that exact reason, but the guys loved it—mostly because the woman behind the bar was in love with all of them and gave them endless rounds of free drinks.

The train was down completely and he ended up walking the entire way, arriving only after everyone else was sitting down.

“Loops!”

Remus waved to Finn and pointed at their table so the waitress would let him through.

As he scooted his chair in beside James, Sirius nodded at him from directly across the table.

“You’re late, man.” James said.

“Yeah.” Remus said. “Just got caught up with something. Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright.” Sirius said from across the table. Their eyes met for a moment and Sirius half smiled, before he picked up a pretzel from one of the bowls in the middle of the table and threw it at Leo’s head. “Hey, Knutty, pass me the honey mustard.”

Leo groaned. “It’s pronounced newt. Leo Knut. Like the lizard?”

James snorted. “You’re a rookie, Nut. And even if you weren’t, there’s no way you’re ever dropping this nickname.”

Finn leaned forward, nodding solemnly. “It’s too good.”

James scuffed Finn on the back of his head and said, “no one asked for your opinion, Harzy,” but he was smiling as he spoke. Finn knocked him right back, and soon Remus feared for their water glasses.

Remus loved being around the energy of the team, even if it was always practically bursting at the seams. It was so different from his apartment, nice enough, thanks to the Lion’s management, but still. Silent.

Most of the conversation flowed around him, game talk and love life interrogations. Some of it was funny, and some of it got a little too close to home.

“Loops, you have to come out with us next time we’re on a roadie, okay?” James waved around at the table. “What’s our first one? New York? You have to come, we’ll get you a girl and everything.”

“Look at that face,” Kasey said from a few chairs down, “It’ll be easy.”

There was laughter, and all Remus could do was nod and agree, laugh along, though all of his air seemed to be trapped in his lungs.

“Sure, sure, Kase. I’ll bet I do better than your ugly mug.” That sent the group into absolute hollers, but when Remus looked up, and the smile nearly slid off his face.

Sirius was looking right back at him. Remus’s mind was taken forcefully back to Snape’s hit, that intense, agonizing look Sirius had given him on the ice after he fell and couldn’t get back up last season.

But Sirius just looked away, flashing him a tight smile, and then scooted his chair back.

“Gotta piss, gents.” He announced so that some of the guys would scoot their chairs in.

Remus didn’t realize he was staring after him until James nudged his shoulder.

“Okay, Remus? You don’t actually have to come out with us.”

Remus blinked. “What? No, it’s—I want to.” He nodded. “Thanks.”

James raised an eyebrow, looking amused. “You’re welcome?”

Remus laughed, which turned into more of a throat clearing, and looked down at the beer he had ordered, rubbing his thumbnails against the label. Then, acting on a whim, he scooted his chair back, too. “I gotta go, too. Be right back.”

There was a second, as he walked away, that he thought he had maybe been too obvious. But when he looked back, James was wrestling with Harzy again, completely ignoring his empty chair.

When he entered the restroom, he ran straight into Sirius coming out. The first thing he registered was a hard, warm chest, and then hands on his arms, steadying him.

“Jeez, Loops. Gotta go that bad, eh?”

“Oh.” Remus stuttered, then tried for a smile as Sirius let go of him and leant casually against one side of the small doorway. “Yeah, I guess. Long walk here.”

Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed a little, the corners of his mouth turning down. “Walk?”

Remus realized what he had said too late, and sent Sirius another fleeting smile. “Excuse me.”

“Re—” Was all that Remus caught before the door closed.

Remus took a large breath and closed his eyes. “Stupid,” he muttered to himself. “Fucking stupid.”

He closed himself in a stall and waited what he thought would be an appropriate amount of time to have peed, and then unlocked it again, heart still racing and neck still hot.

It wasn’t that big of a deal that he didn’t have a car, but these were good guys and he didn’t want any of them to feel like they had to do anything about it. But, maybe that was too self congratulatory. Remus shook his head at himself in the mirror, and resolved to try not to think about it too much. Not to mention the girl thing. The pick up a girl thing.

Remus didn’t like to think about that, either. Like he said. They were all good guys. Great guys.

That didn’t mean he knew how they would react to him being gay.

Most likely, fine. But he wasn’t willing to risk it. No matter how much he wanted to tell them. Maybe one day that would change, but right now…right now he wanted them to be his family too much.

The rest of the dinner was mindless, excited chatter about the season. Excited, at least, until dessert arrived and Knutty made a horrible mistake.

“How’s the ankle, Pads?”

Sirius paused, fingers hovering over where he was about to pick up his fork. They fall back to the table along with the silence.

“Nice, Nut. Real nice. Way to bring that up right fucking now, while the man’s got his chocolate cake in front of him.”

“It’s fine, Pots.” Sirius says, and he even manages to laugh a little. Knutty, on the other hand, looks like he wants to melt into the table. “It’s alright, Knutty. It’s—well, Loops? How is my ankle?”

Remus places his own fork back down and looks around at the table. Every single face is turned towards him, looking on eagerly, waiting for news about their captain.

Remus swallowed. “We’ll have to see how you do in the next few weeks.”

Kasey practically moaned. “Such a media answer. Fucking Christ.”

“It’s true!” Remus protested. “I can’t make it heal any faster than it wants to. All I can say is that he looks good out there so far.”

Sirius leaned forward. “You said I was keeping weight off of it.”

“You are. That doesn’t mean that if you’re smart you can’t break the habit. Favoring the uninjured foot doesn’t always mean the injured one is still hurt. It just means you’re scared that it is.”

Sirius leaned back and Remus’ heart pumped in his chest. He thought maybe that last part had gone a bit too far, so he added, “I looked at it. The bone looks good, the muscles around it look good. You just have to trust yourself.”

Everyone seemed to be waiting for Sirius to answer first, but all he did was look at Remus with this funny little smile on his face. It was one Remus didn’t know what to make of. He didn’t know if he should return it or start up another conversation…

Sirius picked up his fork and said. “It’s good to have you around, Loops.”

And that was that.

A week later, Sirius was still favoring his good foot, and becoming more and more frustrated with himself every time Remus pointed it out. Meanwhile, Kasey’s thigh was bothering him again. He hadn’t said anything yet, but Remus could see it on his face every time he lifted his goalie mask for a water break during practice. Until Kasey wanted to admit that it hurt, all Remus could do was sit on the bench and watch the practice scrimmages. It was his favorite part, watching the Lions weave themselves seamlessly together, Coach Weasley’s voice loud in the background.

“How’s the Captain, huh?”

Remus looked up from the game to where Moody was sitting down beside him, stretching out his leg, prosthetic from the knee down and covered with random messages from all the guys—some not perfectly polite. Remus always laughed when he saw the millions of hearts Finn had drawn.

“He’s okay,” Remus replied. “Frustrated more than anything.”

“That’ll get ‘em.” Moody grumbled.

Remus nodded, and they both watched Sirius easily skirt Jones and Wilson with some hard turns, knocking the puck into the net off of the back of Wilson’s skate—much to Wilson’s distain. Sirius laughed afterwards. Remus looked away.

“I’ll get through to him,” he said to Moody’s good eye, the other taken out by a bad puck when he was a player. Now, it was covered by a patch—festively Lion’s colors. The boys had gotten it as a gift for him a while back. Moody had grumbled, but Remus hadn’t seen him without it since.

“I know you will. We’re just running a little slim on time. Two weeks. We need them settled in to themselves and to each other.” He got up then, just as the whistle signaling the end of practice blew, and slapped Remus’ back as he left.

The boys started filing past the bench to change—most of them anyway. James seemed to be attempting to play keep away with Sirius, only Sirius was idly bouncing the puck off his stick blade and over James’ head. It only took a few more minutes for James to get fed up, shoving Sirius playfully into the boards as both of them skated towards Remus.

Sirius nodded to him when they got close enough. “Here to look at me?”

Remus blinked. “What?”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “My ankle?”

“Right.” Remus nodded. “Right. Yeah, come see me.”

Remus closed his eyes, mouthing a short fuck to himself as he headed down the tunnel ahead of them and back towards the training room. That was ridiculous. Ankle. Remus was there to look at Sirius’ ankle.

Sirius was coming through the door sooner than Remus expected, wet haired and neck flushed above the neck of his t-shirt from the showers. Remus was sitting at his desk with basically half a sandwich in his mouth. Sirius smiled when he saw him.

“Hi.”

Remus went to say hi, but all that came out was a muffled noise, which made Sirius snort a little as he took a seat on one of the tables.

“Hungry, Loops?”

“Shut up.” Remus finally managed as he swallowed. “It’s your fault I get such a short lunch. Keeping us busy.”

Sirius made a face. “I don’t want to keep you from lunch.”

Remus waved him off. “I’m kidding.” He brushed his hands off on his pants and motioned for Sirius to straighten his leg, “let’s take a look.”

Sirius stuck his foot out and Remus carefully began unlacing his shoe to slip it off, followed by his sock.

“You know you’re one of maybe three guys who thinks to clip their toenails.” Remus says as he presses his palm flat against the arch of Sirius’ foot, easing it backwards. “How does it feel?”

“Well, I want to look nice for you, Remus Lupin, don’t I?”

Remus looked up sharply. For a second, Sirius was straight faced, and it was just them staring at each other. Then he cleared his throat and smiled, nodding at his foot.

“At least my foot does.” He cleared his throat again and looked at one of the posters detailing when to ice and when to heat an injury. “It feels fine.”

“Fine?” Remus said after a moment.

“Yeah. No, like—twinging? It was doing that for a bit but it stopped.”

Remus shot him a look. The strange moment had passed as quickly as it had come. “I never heard anything about any twinging.”

“I said it stopped.”

“Sirius.”

“It stopped!”

“Well, you’re lucky it did. Let’s stretch it.”

Sirius was familiar with the drill and scooted down some so he was on his back. He bent his knee, allowing Remus to take his calf and rest his foot on his shoulder.

“I saw you were in Europe this summer.” Remus said, mostly just for something to say. He wanted to talk, to keep his mind off that he was basically leaning over Sirius who was just looking up at him, steadily as Remus messed with his leg.

“Yeah. Me and some of the boys.”

“No James? That’s a new one.”

A corner of Sirius’ mouth lifted. “You know how hard it is to pull him away from Lily sometimes.”

“Yeah.” Remus leaned back and went about feeling the tendons around Sirius’ ankle bone. His ankles were slim and fine-boned. They didn’t match the rest of his tall, broad build. Remus tried not to let his touch linger.

“What did you do this summer? You never said.”

Remus shrugged. “This and that. Saw Lily a few times, actually. Worked for the Cubs. Nothing like Europe.”

“I forgot. You’re a Cub Coach.”

“That I am.” Remus bent Sirius’ leg again and folded it so his knee was against his chest. “Ages six through seven and eight through ten this summer.”

“So, they can barely skate.”

“They can skate!”

Sirius shot him a look and Remus rolled his eyes. “Some of them can skate.”

It was silent for another moment before Sirius said, “I wish you’d skate with us sometime.” When Remus scoffed, he continued, “I’m serious. We do after-practice stuff all the time. You never join in.”

“I couldn’t keep up with any of you.”

“Moody can’t keep up with us, either, that doesn’t stop him.”

Remus let Sirius’ leg back down to the mat and shrugged. “I like watching.”

“I want to see you play.”

“And I want to see you play,” said Remus. “Which means you have to tell me if anything hurts, even if it’s just a twinge, and even if it goes away. Got it, Black?”

Sirius’ expression was shocked for a moment before it breaks into an eye-crinkling smile. “Yes, captain.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but he smiled a little, too. “Get the fuck out of my office.”

It wasn’t that Remus couldn’t skate.

It wasn’t that he was embarrassed to be seen beside NHL players.

It was that he wanted to be a player.

It was that he could have been, maybe, if he’d been a little different. A little taller. A little less wiry. A little more prone to gaining muscle mass. After a while, he had gotten used to coaches telling him he was skilled, but too small, that he’d never be able to take a hit at a professional level.

So, Remus had settled. He quit the college team he’d been playing on and started to get on track to graduate in physical therapy. It had been stay on the team, or have a secure life. He didn’t regret his decision, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t miss what could’ve been.

It was an odd feeling. Missing something that had barely been there in the first place.

It wasn’t that Remus couldn’t skate. It was just that skating hurt a little, deep down, right in the hollow of his chest.

It was one week until the start of the season and Sirius was skating better. Even if the timidness lingered, it was beautiful to watch him. It made Remus ache in an entirely different way, in a way that felt good. He guessed this must be what it felt like to watch Michelangelo paint, or Hemingway write. There were pictures beginning to surface online, too, from the open practices, as proof. Twitter was brimming with inside sources. Black was back.

The boys were restless, even in practice now, wanting for the points to matter, to pour their energy into something real. Remus had to admit that he felt a little restless too, a little frantic with wanting everyone to be healthy. He was probably assigning one too many routine check ups and workouts, but, right now, he couldn’t feel to careful. Not everyone was going to be at one hundred percent, it was impossible, but he could try to get them as close as he could.

“Remus, are you listening to me?”

Remus switched his phone to his other shoulder so he could chop the onions more easily. “Yeah, sorry, mum. I think the 2:00 o’clock flight should be fine. You know you guys don’t have to come.”

Hope Lupin made a noise into the speaker. “Remus. Of course we do!”

“No, I know, I—I mean I want you there, of course, I want to see you. I just mean—I mean if money’s tight, you know, I’m…It’s not like I’m playing. You’ll just see me on the bench.”

“Remus. You’re a crucial part of the team. Whether you’re playing or not. They’re your team.”

Remus let out a little laugh, scooping the onions into a pot to sizzle, “thanks, mum. How’s the painting going?”

He let his her rattle on about the figure and landscape classes she was taking as he made his bolognese sauce, at least until his phone started vibrating with a new incoming call. Remus pulled it away from his ear and stilled, his mom’s voice faint from the phone speakers.

“Um. Mum?”

“—and then Susan said that she thought my colors were muddled, whatever that means—oh, what, sweetheart?”

“I’m going to have to call you back, okay?”

“Oh, alright. Is everything—”

Remus hit the accept button and held it up to his ear tentatively. “Hi—hello?”

There was a rustling in the background for a second before a voice came through. “Remus?”

“Sirius?”

“Oh. I mean, yeah. Hi.”

Remus looked at the name one more time, just to make sure. Sirius had never called him before. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Sirius said again.

Remus couldn’t think of anything else. “Hi.”

Sirius laughed, “Hi.”

“Is your ankle okay?” It was the only think Remus could think of, besides his quickly forming fantasies of Sirius calling to confess his undying love.

“Yeah. Why?”

Remus opened and mouth a few times. “You’re calling me.”

“Oh, no—I mean, yeah. Yes, I am, but that’s not why.”

Remus turned off the stove, not wanting to get any more distracted and burn his dinner, and turned to lean back against the kitchen counter, heart beating a mile a minute. “Oh. Alright.”

“Is that okay?”

Remus heard the protesting noise he made before he realized he was making it. “No, yeah, of course, I just—it’s unexpected.”

“Your captain can’t call you?”

Remus can’t help but smile a little at that. He ran a hand over his face, thankful that Sirius wasn’t actually here to see his cheeks heat, “No, he can. You can.”

Sirius laughed, too, able to hear the smile in his voice. “Good.”

There were a few beats of silence, but Remus waited for Sirius to continue. It was like a particularly difficult play. Sirius always got it, but sometimes he looped around maddeningly on the ice, waiting for the perfect chance to score.

“Um.” Sirius cleared his throat, “so, there’s a team dinner tomorrow.”

“There is.” Remus had gotten the group message last night. “I’m going.”

“I know, I was calling because I remembered when we met in the bathroom last time and you mentioned that you walked to the restaurant and so I realized maybe you didn’t have a car and so I thought maybe you’d want a ride.”

Remus blinked.

“With me,” Sirius added in a whoosh of breath. “I could give you a ride. If you wanted.”

“I…” Remus nodded before remembering that Sirius couldn’t see him, “thanks. Yeah, that would be—that would be good. That’s really nice of you, you don’t—”

“I know, I know, but I want to. I—we should’ve asked sooner. The boys carpool sometimes, but my car’s all free.”

“No one wanted to ride with the captain?” Remus tried to joke, because Sirius just implied that they would be in a car together alone and Remus’ slightly younger self was freaking out while his present self was also freaking out.

“Guess not,” Sirius said. “I’ll get you at seven? Where do you live?”

Remus rattled off his address on autopilot, but even when the time and place was agreed, Sirius seemed reluctant to get off the phone.

“What are you up to?” he said instead.

Remus flicked the stove back on with a deep breath. “Just making dinner.”

“You’re lucky you’re not bound to the diet I am. I’m making chicken. And broccoli.”

Remus laughed a little. “You’re only angry about that because you can’t cook.”

“How do you know I can’t cook?”

Remus raised his eyebrows at the chicken stock he was trying to open one handed. He put Sirius on speaker and placed the phone on the counter beside the stove. “I’ve seen you in the team kitchen and I’ve seen Chef Molly’s face when you’re there. You can’t cook.”

There was a distant grumbling from the other end of the line and Remus smiled as he browned the meat. Then he was struck all over again by the strangeness of this situation. Sirius Black was on speaker phone in his kitchen.

“I’m interrupting your dinner.”

“No, it’s fine, Pads.” Remus didn’t want Sirius to go. It was nice to have a second voice to fill his kitchen, even if it was over a phone. When Sirius didn’t respond for a few seconds, Remus froze half way through opening a box of pasta. “I mean, you can go if you need to. I’m interrupting your dinner, too, so—”

“You think I look good, right? On the ice, I look okay? I look ready?”

Remus’ heart clenched a little and he set the box down, flipping the stove to simmer. He leaned against the counter again, folding his arms and staring at the lit up screen of his phone. “What do you think?”

Sirius huffed into the speaker. “Remus.”

“No, seriously. I can’t tell you anything if you won’t believe it.”

“Just tell me again.” Sirius’ voice sounded so desperate, so small, that Remus picked up the phone, like holding it closer would help somehow.

Remus bit his lip for a moment. “Sirius, your ankle healed beautifully. You’re skating like it’s what you were born to do. Have you seen what people are saying?”

Another pause, this one rather long, and then, so quietly, “What if they’re wrong?”

“It doesn’t matter if they’re wrong or right.” Remus held the phone closer and barely knew what he’s saying before saying it. It just knew that it was true. “You love to play. You’re an incredible player. Everyone can see that. It was a bad hit. They happen to everyone. Remember James’ concussion? That was horrible, James was horrible for a few weeks, until the fear wore off.”

“Because he loved it more than he feared it,” Sirius said softly.

Remus nodded. “Exactly. I—I did everything I could, and so did you. That’s all we can ask for, and that’s all the fans can ask for.” Remus took a breath. “You look good out there.”

They were both silent this time, letting everything sink in. Remus was struck again by how intimate this entire conversation felt. Him and Sirius, in their two years, had never exchanged more than a few words outside of hockey, outside of the rink, or the team. Remus was convinced this was a fluke, a one-off. Sirius was nervous. That’s all it was, and Remus was sure he’d already talked to James and Kasey about it, but Remus would take what he could get.

“So, seven?” was all Sirius said.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Remus cleared his throat. “Thanks.”

“You, too,” Sirius said. “Really, Re.”

Remus’ chest pulled at that, and he couldn’t find his voice again.

His kitchen felt all too silent after Sirius hung up.

Sirius’ Range Rover was a shiny black, and he had a red flannel shirt on behind the wheel but no jacket when he rolled down the window to wave at Remus from where he was walking out of his apartment complex. Remus felt suddenly funny in the team sweatshirt he was wearing, like it was too much, too obvious, even though he knew that some of the guys would no doubt be wearing at least some kind of team gear.

“Hey,” Sirius said when he got close enough. “What’s up?”

Remus raised a shoulder in a shrug. “Hungry.”

“Same here,” Sirius leaned over to pull the latch on Remus’ door, popping it open for him.

Remus slid in, buckled his seatbelt. Sirius had the radio on low and looked over at Remus with a small smile on his face for a few seconds before pulling the car back into drive and pulling out into the road.

“Getting nervous, eh?”

It took Remus a minute to realize he was talking about the season and not the car ride, but he nodded. “A little. Probably not as nervous as you.”

“Right,” Sirius laughed. “I guess that’s true. Your family coming in again?”

Remus looks away from the road and towards him in surprise. “I—yeah.” He hadn’t know Sirius was even aware Remus’ family had ever come at all. “Yeah, on Thursday. So, what, two days from now.”

“Got good tickets for the game on Friday, I hope.”

“Good enough.”

There was an awkward silence where, had it been anyone else, Remus should have been asking Sirius if his parents were flying in, but he didn’t dare. They didn’t talk about Sirius’ family. That was a rookie rule, one of the first things you learned. Don’t take the last chocolate chip cookies from James, don’t touch Kasey’s blocker and glove, and don’t ask the captain about his family.

“You only have to ask for the box, you know. Any of the guys would help you out.”

Remus nodded, but he knew he’d never do that. He didn’t like asking for more than he needed.

With the silence that filled the car over the radio, Remus realized how much he relied on the surrounding buzz of hockey when he talked to any of the guys on the team. They were friends, but Sirius was and—Remus was fairly sure—always would be a half worshipped idol in his book. It was hard to speak to him on a normal level sometimes, and especially hard when he kept looking over at Remus and smiling the smile that girls made signs for to hold up at the glass for him to see. Remus couldn’t help but smile back, and then they were talking about James’ spin-o-rama in practice and smiling rather stupidly at each other.

Remus had no fucking idea what it all could mean.

“Thanks for the ride,” Remus said as Sirius parked, the car rolling forward a little with his slightly too hard stop. “Beats the stuffy undergrounds.”

Sirius chuckled lightly. “You need a car, man.”

Remus shrugged, trying to neatly avoid the topic altogether by getting out of the car.

He was early for the first time in his life, and only the rookies had arrived yet, shuffling awkwardly outside the restaurant before they saw Sirius and straightened up, some smiling, some paling. Remus could sympathize. It was hard to get used to Sirius.

“Hey, boys, alright?” Sirius said, holding his hand out for a few hello’s. “Let’s sit down, yeah? We can order some chips and salsa at least, me and Re are fucking starving.”

Leo nodded. “Yeah, okay.” Then, to Remus, “Hey, Loops.”

“Hi, Nut.” Remus grinned when his eyes rolled at the nickname. “Gonna make us order you a drink or do you think you have the balls to use your fake yourself this time?”

Sirius let out a snort and sent Remus an approving look as he held the door open for him. Remus ducked inside so he could hide how his cheeks flushed with pride.

James arrived by squeezing Remus’ shoulders from behind and making him jump so hard that he spilled his margarita. James cracked up and Sirius calmly slid his own drink over to him, which was just a few sips in.

Remus shook his head. “You should keep it. That one was almost empty and if I have another…who knows what I’ll tell you.”

Sirius just pushed it a little further towards him and flagged the waitress down for another. “I’d love to hear your secrets, Fruit-Loops. You can trust me.”

Remus had been left blinking as Sirius turned and put his brightest smile on for the waitress, who fell for it immediately. He was sure that in no tim the rest of Sirius’ drinks would be mysteriously free of charge.

That dulled Remus’ high, just a little bit. It wasn’t like he never watched Sirius flirt with girls. He’d seen it more times than he could count. He’d been at the table, watching over Finn, usually, who couldn’t handle his alcohol, and Sirius would be at the bar, smiling at some girl and leaning down so she could whisper something in his ear. He’d seen the way Sirius kissed. It was like the way he played hockey. Remus usually felt weird looking and looked away after a few seconds, chest burning.

He’d seen it more times than he could count, but it didn’t stop it from settling heavy in his chest. Sometimes, he almost thought it would be better if Sirius got a girlfriend. Someone Remus could get to know, to come to like. It would be better than secretly hating every random girl who he didn’t have a clue about like some insane super-fan.

Remus took a sip of Sirius’ drink, just for something to do other than watch the girl giggle. Then, he pushed it away. Maybe he could trust Sirius, but he definitely didn’t trust himself. He switched to guacamole instead.

“How’s Lily, Pots?” He turned away from Sirius completely and looked at James, “Haven’t seen her in a bit.”

James made a weird choking-on-his-drink-or-maybe-some-chips noise and coughed for a minute before speaking. Remus, and a few others, watched him with a laugh on their lips.

Remus watched Kasey slap him on the back a few times. “You okay, bud?”

“I’m good.” James wheezed. “She’s good. She’s—yeah, she’s good. She’s good. I’m good.” He cleared his throat. “We’re good.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. He didn’t know what was up, but he was definitely texting Lily when he got home.

“Remus.” Finn leaned over, much too close for Remus’ liking, his brown eyes large.

“Yeah, Harzy?”

Finn shook his head solemnly. “What if I never block a puck again?”

Remus shook his head. “Harzy��”

“What if,” Finn’s eyes got bigger and he looked dazedly up into the ceiling. His drink was tipping dangerously close to the rim of his glass. “What if I go from being Finn O’Hara to Finn No’Care-a?”

“Um.” Remus laughed, and then he heard a similar noise from his left and looked at Sirius, sitting at the table. They both burst into laughter. Remus reached over and took the dangerously sloshing drink out of Finn’s hand. “Okay, I think you’re done for the night, Harz.”

Finn slumped back in his seat, only to be pulled in by Timmy, who had been traded to them last year, the same year as Finn, from the Owls. They had been in developing camp together in high school and Remus liked their dynamic. Remus had always thought they’d make a good defense pairing, if Finn wasn’t a winger.

“Now, you’ve got two drinks in front of you.” Remus looked up at Sirius. He was closer than expected, and his pupils looked large and dark, but his smile was soft. He tilted his head to the side. “If you still care to share those secrets.”

Remus laughed, tracing a bit of salt off one of the rims with his thumb and licking it. Sirius watched for a second before he looked down at his tacos. “I don’t know,” Remus said. “I’m a pretty open book. I’m surprised you want to know anything at all.”

This was new, too. Sirius, leaning into him, asking him questions about himself—himself, not hockey.

Sirius looked up at him again, brows pulled low this time. “Why surprised?”

Remus shot him a look that he hoped said, because you said barely two words to me for the first year you were here, and after that we talked about hockey. But, to be completely fair, Remus wasn’t sure how much he himself used to be able to stand having conversations with Sirius. In the very beginning, Sirius had been nothing more than the super star who Remus had loved enough to splurge on his jersey for. A jersey that was now tucked carefully away in his drawer, only to be worn when he sure he was completely alone and not expecting any visitors.

“Oh.” One corner of Sirius’ mouth lifted, a little sadly. “Yeah. I wasn’t very friendly in the beginning, was I?”

“I wouldn’t say not friendly.” Remus stirred the drink, took a sip. “You had a lot of pressure on you. Still do. I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

Sirius laughed a little, a dry thing. “Right.”

“I—No, that—” Remus searched frantically for words. “Sorry, that’s probably not what you want to talk about right now. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up—you need a clear head right now.”

“My head is anything but clear right now.” Sirius sat back in his chair, running a hand through his hair.

“Uh-oh. Sirius Black hair flip is happening over here.” James leaned down between Remus and Sirius, seemingly on his way to the bathroom. “Is everything okay, you two?”

Sirius elbowed James gently in the ribs. “Fuck off, Pots.”

James laughed, messing up Sirius’ hair completely with a hard rub. Remus almost wanted to look away. Sirius’ hair was a particular highlight from Remus. It was dark, and thick, and wavy, and it stopped around his ears now but by the end of the season it would be curling at the base of his neck. Remus huffed and tried to subtly watch Sirius fix it with his fingers.

It was taboo to say anything aloud, but Remus silently hoped he’d see a Cup ring there on those fingers at the end of this season.

Remus sighed. At least they were back to hockey, to familiar territory that didn’t get Remus’ hopes up, nor let them down. It was even. It was safe.

“What can I do?” Remus asked.

Sirius blinked up at him, giving his hair one last push to the side. “What?”

“To clear your head. I don’t want you worrying about anything you don’t have to worry about. What can I do?”

Sirius sat forward in his chair and regarded Remus with eyes that looked slightly disbelieving. Remus took another sip of his drink and raised his eyebrows.

“I…I don’t know, the team—”

“No, what do you need?”

Sirius opened and closed his mouth a few times. With each time, his eyes looked a little more at a loss. “We need to—”

“You,” Remus said. “You need to…?”

Sirius laughed, “Remus, it’s not about me.”

“It’s about you when you need it to be, and right now you do.”

Sirius’ tight smile hadn’t fully faded. “You should be a coach.”

“Sirius, you aren’t going to be able to do anything with the weight of the world on your shoulders. You just said it isn’t about you. You’re right, but only in that it isn’t all up to you. It isn’t all on you. Any of these guys would tell you that.”

Remus couldn’t have said where half of this was coming from. It was everything he’d ever thought about Sirius’ silences, about his intense superstitions and routines, about his temper on and off the ice, blaming everything on himself. He’d blame the alcohol, but he was fairly sure it was also his proximity to Sirius in general.

“You care.” Sirius said, and it didn’t sound surprised or defensive. He sounded—happy, almost.

It was so close to the truth. Remus didn’t just care for Sirius, but he couldn’t say that. The happy notes in Sirius’ voice let Remus be glad for the alcohol in his system, however, becomes it enabled him to give the safer reply that he did.

“You’re my favorite player,” Remus said simply, and a bright smile overtook Sirius’ face.

“I didn’t know that.”

Remus ran a hand over his hot cheek. “Yeah, that was probably for the better.”

Sirius laughed loudly, drawing some looks and pressed his forehead onto his folded forearms onto the table for a minute.

“Shut up,” Remus laughed.

“I can’t believe you told me. I mean, I’m fucking glad, I’m never going to let you forget it, but—”

“Fuck off,” Remus covered his eyes briefly before laughing again. “It’s—I’m trying to tell you you’ve got this.”

“Why are we laughing without me? Is Loops funny and I didn’t know it?” James leaned in, arm thrown around Kasey’s shoulder, jostling him so his fork missed his mouth and streaked his cheek.

“Pots,” Kasey said. “Get a grip, I’m fucking eating.”

“Sorry, babe.” James leaned past him, closer to Sirius and Remus. “But seriously, why are we laughing, I need to be included in everything.”

“Oh, we know.” Sirius said, and glanced over at Remus like it was the two of them in on a joke together. Remus knew he would be thinking about that look for a while.

For the majority of the rest of the dinner, Remus was pulled into a strange debate over who would throw the team Christmas party this year with Nut and Harzy. The whole time though, Remus could practically feel the heat of Sirius next to him. His lost eyes when Remus asked him to think of himself first were burned into Remus’ memory. The knowledge that he was going to drive home with Sirius in a dark car after this made him jumpy with adrenaline. It was practically the way he felt before a game, the way he felt about the season opener on Friday.

When it was finally time to go, Remus half wondered if Sirius would be quiet about them riding together, although he wasn’t sure why. Maybe so the other guys wouldn’t ask.

But when everyone was clustered out front and saying goodbyes, Sirius was in the middle of it all and flipping his keys around his finger. He looked at Remus with raised eyebrows.

“Ready?” he asked.

Remus tried not to let his surprise show, and nodded. “Yep.”

“Wh—” James looked back and forth between them with exaggerated swivels of his head. “Fruit-loops riding with captain?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Do my ears deceive me?”

“Yes, yes, alright.” Sirius held his hand out and James took it, slapping his back with the other. “Goodnight, Potty.”

Once out of the bright lights of the restaurant and walking back to the parking lot, Sirius let out a long huff, and at Remus’ look, smiled.

“Team energy, you know?”

Remus nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good night, though.” Sirius clicked his keys and his car chirped in the distance, the back lights blinking to life in the darkness.

“It was. It’s always good.”

“You weren’t with any other team before us, were you?” Sirius asked.

Remus shook his head as they reached the car. “Just the Lions.”

“Was this always what you wanted to do?” Sirius’ question was quiet while they both got in and shut the doors.

Remus took the break from his honest, intense gray eyes to take a breath. This was small talk, obviously, but Remus couldn’t deny that he liked that Sirius wanted to know.

“Sort of. This is what makes money.”

Sirius looked at him. “But before…”

Remus tried to smile a little. “Doesn’t everyone want to be you, at least a little?”

“You wanted to play?” Sirius sat up straighter, turned his body more towards Remus. “Did you play?”

“Growing up and in college, yeah.” Remus looked down. Everything was getting a little close to that sort spot he’d been thinking about a lot lately. “I don’t exactly have your build though, do I? My coach wasn’t shy about letting me know that.”

Sirius was silent and it occurred to Remus that he might feel awkward for asking now, and so he added, “He did me a favor, really. It’s not a big deal. I love my job.” Which was true. He thought he was probably one of the luckiest people in his line of work that there was. He had a close, team-based relationship with nearly all of the players. Now he was sitting in Sirius Black’s car. He did love his job.

“Again.” Sirius started the engine, “Now you really have to play with us.”

Remus laughed lightly. “It’s still a little bit of a…a hard thing. For me.”

“Oh.”

“But, one day, I hope, yeah. Sure. I’d like that.”

“Remus, I’m sorry—”

“No, no,” Remus assured him. “That’s not what I meant. Honestly, it’s okay. It means a lot that your even asking.”

Remus saw Sirius nod from the corner of his vision, the road lit by his headlights in front of them.

“Tonight was nice.” Sirius said again. Then, he coughed a little. “And not just…you know, the team. What you said. To me.”

“It’s no problem.”

“I know. I just—I don’t get too much of that. It was always, you know, do better, and it was just me out there when…you know.” Sirius coughed again, a little clearing of his throat sound. “When I was growing up.”

Remus only barely stopped himself from whipping his head around to look at Sirius. He’d never heard something like that. In all the interviews he’d watched, in all the dinners he’d sat through.

Rookie rule number one. You don’t ask the captain about his family. Of course, Remus had always assumed he’d had it rough. He’d seen Sirius’ family at games. They were intense. Horribly so. They were exhibit A of stereotypical hockey parents. Yelling at the other boys, correcting plays, correcting Coach.

An apology didn’t feel like the right response. Sirius wouldn’t want pity. But Remus didn’t want to brush over it like it was nothing either. It felt like a seed of trust, and Remus had no idea what he had done to deserve such a thing, but he was going to be careful with it.

“Well, I’m here. Whenever you need me.”

Remus would drop everything for Sirius Black, star of the Gryffindor Lions, he had always known that. Only, right now, it also felt like he’d drop everything for Sirius, his captain who put too much pressure on himself. Maybe, even, in this moment at least, his friend.

He saw Sirius glance at him and looked back, offering a little smile.

Sirius’ jaw was set, though, and his eyes flicked all over the road, knuckles right on the steering wheel. It was like he didn’t know what to do with a comment like that, which made Remus want to shower him in them. Sirius jerked his chin at the windshield. “This is you, right?”

“I—Oh, yeah.” Remus felt like he was being yanked out of a daze, some weird dream, as Sirius pulled up in front of his apartment complex. “Thanks again, for the ride.”

He went to open his door, when suddenly there was a hand on his arm.

“Remus.”

Remus turned.

“Um.” Sirius looked at his hand around Remus’ arm, then the Lion’s logo on his sweatshirt, and let go. “Um, yeah. Sorry, yeah. See you in practice.”

Remus blinked at him, he opened his mouth to say something, but then Sirius turned forward in his seat and looked out the driver side window, away from Remus.

“Yeah.” Remus felt shaky from the strange and rapid shift in moods. “See you.”

Sirius drove away mere seconds after Remus closed his door, making Remus stumble back a step from the car.

He didn’t know what had just happened, but he knew he’d be thinking about this entire night for a while.

His apartment felt especially chilly compared to the warm space of Sirius, when he got inside.

(Wanted to post because it’s almost officially HOCKEY SEASOOONNNNNN :))))))))))

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #hockey!au #hockey player!sirius #harry potter #writing #hp #sirius/remus #remus/sirius #the marauders era #wolfstar au #harry potter au #lumosinlove #aaaaaa

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hidelaney · 5 years ago

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Hi Delaney!

Ah, yes the quarantine. It’s getting to me. Definitely. Suddenly I have no office to go to. But it’s good, I think. Make the CEO realize the upper management has no literal reasons to keep us in the office. Like at all. Seriously, everyone from my team is working from home and the level of productivity is actually better. Because guess what? Not having people breathing down our necks is SUPER helpful. So HA!

Okay, about Larry Stylinson. You’re right, I did fall into YouTube Blackhole. And Twitter. And I just watched 1D San Siro concert. By watching, I mean I actually paused the work I’m doing and looked at the screen while it played. Admittedly I was also doing chores but! It wasn’t just background music! It counted!

When I said I could put Larry Stylinson in a microwave and be done with it, I mean the theories and compilation videos are so readily available and easy to digest like, comparable to instant meals.

It’s so neatly packaged, too. Like, I was introduced to Larry Stylinson basically yesterday. Now I could recite the storyline in my head whenever I please. Or when I want to please you, in this case.

Let’s see if I can get it all summarized down here. FYI, I’m borrowing your assumption that Taylor was in on it the whole time. And Eleanor, too. Because I actually know of her existence now! Character discovery! Except they’re real people so I feel the need to point out that I’m making all the assumptions all over the place. I’m doing this for you, my dear Delaney.

Keep in mind that we all need character growths and personal developments when I make non-flattering assumptions toward your favorite people here, ok?

First up! HS & TL met in a toilet.

Now it’s debatable whether it was during an X-Factor audition or Battle of the Bands. For the sake’s of my next argument, I’m going with they knew each other before X-Factor. Likely during their time in White Eskimo and The Rogue, respectively. Their (unconfirmed?) first words to each other were ‘Oops!’ & ‘Hi’

Up next, the X-Factor audition and getting put together in a band.

So here is where I kind of needed my first assumption for this to work. Their chemistry was so obviously through the roof. It made so much sense if they were already sort-of friends and then got put together in a band. Plus, I don’t think the way Louis jumped into Harry’s arms is something a relative stranger would do. And if they only knew each other out of everyone there, it’s no wonder they were both so apparently clingy and codependent. It’s like a situation where both of them went ‘I have no idea what’s gonna happen next, but at least I know you and you know me. So we’re bestie now. No take back!”

And then there’re video diaries, twitter cams, radio interviews, and other broadcasting media they appeared in. These need no explanation because you’ve probably seen all of them and I have functioning ears and eyes. So, yes, I saw videos of them being all disgustingly cute all over the place. During the so-called ‘Fetus’ phase (a wording which I personally find rather disturbing, no offense to your anatomy textbooks or anything.) They’re so sweet. Especially whenever there’s a mention of how they moved in and lived together. Their interactions must’ve been responsible for so many tooth cavities. So many aww-worthy moments. On stage, on screen, behind the scenes, potato cams. Basically everywhere in front of everyone.

Then 1D blew up and were well on their way to become their label’s biggest and brightest BCG-metrix star. It’s not hard to see why investors’d be invested (lol) in employing every marketing strategy possible to keep 1D in the spotlight.

There’s a twofold marketing exploitation to Larry Stylinson that I see from miles away.

Hard sell the heteronormative version of the boys. (To capture major market shares)

Never had Harry or Louis explicitly confirm nor deny their relationship status. (To capture additional market shares with queerbaiting)

But let’s say Harry and Louis were actually together and making 1) too difficult to achieve. Otherwise this whole thing falls apart like a wet house of cards.

Thus, here came what I’d like to call ‘dousing a fire with gasoline’. This is where there’s a sudden drop of their interactions in public and Larry Stylinson isn’t a cutesy smashup name of two boys who got along like a house on fire anymore. This is the part where a ship turned into a full fledged conspiracy theory. And it’s MEGA COOL WICKED awesome.

I say this in the nicest way possible. A tragedy is the grandest form of entertainments. Misery loves having friends.

Also, I’d like to say this. I’m having fun thinking of this as a fictional arc. Because I still feel like it will shatter my heart in to a million pieces if anything resembling what I write next was true.

Since breaking into US market was the Kickstarter into a global one, to the US 1D went.

This was where the heavy closeting got way more difficult to handle. Elounor had the excuse of Eleanor being a private citizen and therefore should be left alone for the most part. Haylor was the complete opposite. Taylor Swift was and still is an American Sweetheart. Harry Styles might have been the most famous British Harry if it weren’t for a (former?) prince and a wizard. (Seriously, we should not call any of our hypothetical future children ‘Harry’ unless you thought ‘Albus Severus Potter’ was a good idea. Poor kiddo.)

The saddest part about Harry Styles public image was how reminiscent of Emma Watson it felt. The minute they turned eighteen, their media portrayals immediately became hyper-sexualized. Suddenly, they left the human zoo into an open hunting game. Famous lives are terrifying.

Anyhow, say, Taylor Swift knew what the US music industry was like. She’s been playing the long game for quite some time. She got to know Harry and then became rather protective of him. Her conclusion was that ‘hyping up Haylor’ would: 1) increase media exposure for both Taylor and 1D which would translate to bigger channels of revenue for all involved, 2) hold the speculation about Harry’s sexual orientation at bay because, as horrible as it sounds, gays don’t sell in America.

This one fit nicely with your ‘Out of the Woods’ interpretation. Taylor wasn’t just spending time with Harry. She was actively enforcing the lock on the closet. Which explains why Louis seemed to resent Taylor quite obviously and quite a lot. His own heteronormative scripts with Eleanor had been relatively tame. Harry’s whirlwind series of romances in public had only just begun.

As Harry started gaining a womanizer reputation in earnest, so did the Almost-Subtle Couple Tattoo Sprees.

If ‘Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Louis’ tweet was a sign that circumstances were about to go south for them. The tattoos were signs that the circumstances had already gone to shit. The tragic package had been shipped, signed, and delivered.

This is where non-flattering assumptions rise to the surface. I think 1D had been overworked past the point of exhaustion. Self-destruction as a coping mechanism became rather prevalent and pervasive within the band. The boys gleefully collected regrets as a new favorite pastime, some more than others. Consequences were nipping at their heels.

Then Zayn left right in the middle of a world tour and all hell broke loose.

Here comes the biggest Assumption Affair!

Louis and Liam, the last to release their solo debut albums, were the most prominent songwriters for the band. I’m not going to go on about Liam because I’m here to give you Larry Stylinson. And this is already way too long as it is. But, needless to say, the first discussion of a prospective solo career probably hit them the hardest.

If each song they wrote was a battle scar, Louis was still bleeding for the band when Harry, of all people, brought up the idea of a hiatus and solo careers. Realizing how many songs Harry already had waiting in the back catalogue must’ve felt like a slap in the face. Or a punch in the gut. Whichever you think is worse/more dramatic. I’m not picky.

Remember self-destruction as coping mechanism? What about relationship-destruction as coping mechanism? Louis cheated and had a baby with someone else. Infidelity at its finest.

ALERT! THIS IS A NEON SIGN OF ASSUMPTION AFFAIR! Please don’t kill me. I told you I was gonna make unflattering assumptions toward your favorite people. I just did as I promised!!! *run for cover*

Anyway...

I’m gonna take you back a little. I mentioned earlier how Eleanor was a private citizen and therefore should be left alone. At times when Louis desperately needed to be left alone, Elounor makes so much sense. If she’s a PR-only girlfriend, she’s a stellar employee. If it’s not just a PR thing, she’s as forgiving as a saint. Just, if it’s Harry and Louis, they likely both messed up and hurt each other badly. If it’s Louis and Eleanor,... I mean... Have you seen a meme where you misspell a word so badly that the autocorrect goes, ‘I don’t know what to tell you, man’?... Louis would be that misspelled word and Eleanor would be the very best autocorrect that practically brute force through every word in the Oxford AND Urban dictionary to find out what that word was. If that’s who she is, then bless her soul. However, for the sake of this argument, we will proceed with the assumption that she’s the star employee of the decade.

Losing loved ones and grieving for them are inevitable parts of human lives. Nothing put more things into perspectives than losing someone so fundamentally dear to you. When I heard Louis Tomlinson’s ‘Two of Us’ for the first time, I remembered walking through an actual forest my grandpa planted for us because he wanted to make sure his great grandkids would have a nice home to grow up in. Do you remember when you called and told me that he died the night I got on my first solo international flight ten months after the fact? I wanted to hate you for keeping something this big a secret from me. I wanted to hate everybody at home for that. But then you told me that it was what my grandpa had wanted. That he didn’t want me to be a sad sack of an exchange student. That you decided to not listen to my parents and call to tell me just before I was due home. So that I’d have time to feel hurt about being lied to. So that I could get all the angry words out. So that I wouldn’t scream at my parents when I got home and learnt the truth. So that you could take the brunt of my grief instead.

I just took a break to have a little cry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. You did the best you could for me when I lost my grandpa. I still managed to effectively shut you out for months. Just because you were the messenger of the bad news. What I’m trying to say is that grief changes people. It changed me. For the worst for a bit. And then for the better once I came to term with what it means to me. There’s a quote from Rosamund Lupton that sums it up neatly.

“Grief is love turned into an eternal missing.”

I guess this is the part where I connected the dots back to Harry and Louis. Well, their music definitely give grief different names. Both albums talk about coming to term with it and moving forward. Every songs they wrote could be woven to fit the narrative of Larry Stylinson and events surrounding them. If you buy the theory, then the good news is both Fine Line & Walls seemed to have a positive ending. One thing I know for sure, though, is that no matter how convincing a conspiracy theory maybe, it could all be built upon a faulty assumption. I’d probably have a way easier time disregarding Elouner if I didn’t have you as a solid proof in my life that, yes, people like the best autocorrect exists. It’s funny how I feel no hesitation at all in categorizing Haylor as a calculated move. Because in my head that’s just par for the course in business. And it genuinely terrifies me in a way. Who the hell I could’ve become if it weren’t for you knocking me off the ground and pouring kindness on me.

I know I skipped a lot of stuff. Missing names like Caroline, Danielle, Kendall, Freddie, Camille, Xander, etc. But HS and LT have a decade of history on public record and, frankly, my interest ran out four paragraphs ago. So just let me conclude this.

I think it’s tiring, spending this much time speculating on someone else’s relationship history. I must admit that I had to get it out of my chest because it was way too interesting to let go off. But now, I feel like I’m just going to stream Heartbreak Weather and listen to ‘No Judgement’ on repeat. Nile is my favorite non-problematic celebrity. I could spell his name so wrong and it probably won’t be an issue as long as I politely say, “Sorry, Mr Niall Horan”

This quarantine clearly leaves me with too much time on my hands.

Virtual hugs and kisses

Your Incredible Sasha 😘

#larry stylinson #haylor #elounor #aimh theory #larry #i hope you like this #in this essay i will...

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ravioliwings · 4 years ago

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Honestly I’m glad that I’m never touching a man again for the rest of my life but I still can’t get over how absolutely busted some men’s perception of the world is

This is hopefully just anecdotal, but I’ve been in relationships with men where it was like all of their thoughts/feelings/actions were based off of things they’ve seen in media.

On the less harmful but still annoying side, those men would perform “romantic” gestures for me as if their only exposure to relationships was through romance movies. I’d received roses several times (which I don’t particularly care for, especially not around valentines day), chocolate (I’m not big on chocolate), a “promise ring” (I am very vocal about my hatred of promise rings), lingerie (that I never wore because it would have made me dysphoric), poems (if a man is not actually a poet and he says he wants to write you a poem, run for the hills), and I’m sure plenty of other things that I’ve blocked out of my memory. There was also a time where one of them almost bought an engraved “promise ring,” for my birthday or something, but he was acting super nervous about it and saying that I might hate it, so I had him tell me what it was, and he was right; I hated it.

And the thing is, is that some of these men knew me for a WHILE. Like they should have known what I liked, what I actually found romantic; but instead it was all stuff you’d see in a movie. Almost every single time a man has ever given me a gift, instead of being grateful and happy that they were thinking of me, my stomach would sink. Because it was as if the gifts were for a totally different person. It’s like every one of them bypassed the thought of “hm what would this individual appreciate” and went straight for “[girls] like roses and chocolate and empty promises, so I’ll get those.”

And it’s so fucked because you can see them as their own person, meanwhile they’re thinking of you as a category. They’re thinking of you as whatever they want, as opposed to what you are. I just really can’t wrap my head around the thought of dating someone and telling them you love them while also apparently not knowing anything about them? And not really wanting to know anything about them that doesn’t affirm whatever character you’ve decided you wanted them to be?

It was like I was smart when they wanted me to be, dumb when they wanted me to be, nerdy when they wanted me to be, not nerdy enough when they wanted me to be, funny when they wanted me to be, unfunny when they wanted me to be. There was one time when I was hanging out at someone’s house with one of my exes and he was gassing me up to his friend, talking about how “oh I’m so smart” blah blah blah, but behind closed doors he would never believe a word I said. Anything that I knew that he didn’t had to be wrong. He wanted everyone to see that I was intelligent while he acted like I was uneducated when it was just the two of us.

Another one of my exes would constantly tell me that I was funny/unfunny. Sometimes it would happen within the same day, where he’d praise me for being so funny and interesting, and then an hour later I was “the most boring person to talk to” and I wasn’t funny at all. This one was kind of the opposite, because most of the time he would praise me behind closed doors, and degrade me in front of his friends.

The most recent one had a complex about being a “nerd;” when all that really meant was that he fawned over every single marvel movie and watched dragon ball z as a kid. And sometimes he’d find it great that we were both “nerds,” but sometimes he would feel threatened by the fact that I liked things that were less socially accepted as the things he like and I didn’t have a nerd complex. Once again, it was a man who felt that his identity was threatened by my own. I was a nerd when he wanted a nerd partner, but not the right kind of nerd when he wanted to feel victimized.

Shit, this even goes back to like the third person I dated? Where in public I was so good at art, but in private I was really terrible at art. That’s a little more forgivable though because we were both like 15.

And it’s funny, because these men would always try to fit me into whatever box they’d picked out, and then be shocked when they realized I wasn’t in the box at all.

Like the same ex that tried to give me an engraved ring; near the end of our relationship (this was essentially the last of many straws for me), he was going off on some tangent about wanting to get married so that “people would finally see him as a man.” And that enraged me pretty quickly. Because not only did he apparently think that’s something I would have done, but also because he thought that would actually work. He was the type of guy who would bitch and moan about things but wouldn’t ever try to change them. And he was upset because other adults didn’t take him seriously. Which they had every right not to; he couldn’t do anything for himself (cook, clean, laundry, fix anything), all he ate was sugar (he was also diabetic, that didn’t stop him), all he drank was monster, he smoked a pack a day, he had a car with like a 24% interest rate, and he blew all of his money on yugioh cards. He was like if a middle school boy worked full time and had to pay taxes, with the maturity level to boot.

He was surprised that I didn’t want to get married (I was 18) and that I also didn’t really respect him as an adult. And he was still surprised when I finally broke up with him after 3 years and didn’t buy his promises of change anymore.

My most recent ex from 2 years ago wanted me to be more passive than I am. And it’s funny, looking back, because I was definitely more passive back then than I am now.

It was like he wanted a “proper” girlfriend but still dated me anyways. He would get irritated if I opened a door for him, or if I took the lead when we went places, or that I preferred to be the one driving. Actually, the taking the lead part was actually one of the reasons he broke up with me, and to this day it does not make any sense. And I guess as he got to know me throughout the relationship, the more he decided he didn’t like who I was. Which at the base level, is fine. But he realized this after like 4 months of dating, while we continued to date for another 6 (so only 4/10 months he actually had feelings for me). And he told me that only when he broke up with me after 10 months. So nice of him.

And the thing is, is that men want so badly for me to be terrible. They want me to be mean, to be cruel, to be heartless, so much so that they’ll even tell me that I need to be more compassionate and understanding after treating me worse than I treat strangers, and after using me.

And they say these things because sometimes I wouldn’t put up with their shit. Because I would talk to them about their behavior towards other people, and how they shouldn’t treat others that way. Because I wouldn’t recoil in fear whenever they threw something or tried to tip a fridge over. Because I wouldn’t coddle them when they “felt bad” for hurting me.

They’ll preach compassion until the cows come home, but really they only care about it when it can benefit them. They won’t show an ounce of compassion to another person, but as soon as they’ve done something wrong, all of a sudden you’re the most cruel person in the world for saying “hey, when you said x it hurt my feelings” and then not consoling them when they say they’re “sad now because you brought up how they hurt you.”

Idk I really got away from what I started writing about here.

And I know not every man is like this, but I’ve encountered enough of them to where I am no longer dealing with them if I don’t have to. I consider myself lucky to be bi because at least I still have the (better) option to date women and nonbinaries. Honestly wish stopped dating men sooner, but whatever. The past is the past now, no sense in beating myself up over it.

#this is....an essay #like its LONG #its also more personal than a statement so if u read this youve been warned #long post

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coffeecomicsgalore · 5 years ago

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For the Love of a Chat

NOTES: Had to finish the story with a long winded chapter! Sorry guys. I hope you enjoy!

Ao3

Chapter 31 - Time travel

Ladybug and Chat Noir bounced out of Marinette’s bedroom, making their way to the area the akuma was last seen. Lost Time was hanging out at Lycée Carnot when he called out for the victim he wanted.

“Where are you, ma chère Marinette?

“Marinette?” Ladybug questioned quietly as they perched silently on the building nearest to their high school. “What does he want with me?”

“Are you sure it’s for you, milady? Maybe it’s for another Marinette.”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” He drawled out. Ladybug stared at Chat with an eye roll and Chat pursed his lips in a bit of protective haste.

“Who is that and why is he calling for you?”

Ladybug stared at the akuma for a long moment to figure out who the akuma could have been. Trying to denote the features and build, she gasped as one person came to mind.

“Jules?”

Chat was about to question who this Jules-person was but Ladybug beat him to it. “He’s in my art program. He’s been flirting with me and I’ve been trying to stop it without being rude, never giving in to what he was saying because of being in love with you and all. He did ask me out once, but I turned him down as gently as I could.” She looked over to Chat and Chat’s eyes were narrowed and filled with a bit of jealousy. “Knock it off. I didn’t want to date him and as you can see, I’m with you.”

Chat’s ears drooped and he knew she was right. “Sorry.”

She placed a caring hand on his wrist. “Hey. It’s alright, Chat. Let’s focus on the akuma, okay?” When Chat smiled and nodded in agreement, she turned back to stare at the akuma. “But why? Why is he acting like this all of a sudden?”

“You rather hang out with a cat than spend time with me?” Lost Time laughed bitterly. “Why don’t you show your face to me. Then I can show you how to have a real good time.”

Both Ladybug and Chat smacked their foreheads and groaned.

“I’m surprised Alya didn’t say anything to me when we talked earlier.”

“Nino didn’t message me either to see if I had seen the photo. It must have happened over the last few hours or so when we were... you know” He waggled his brows.

Ladybug continued and ignored Chat’s false inuendo. “Either that, or someone placed it on social media before Alya found out about it and that’s how he found out.”

“But then that means people are going to think you’re dating Chat Noir.

“Even though I am....” She added with a wink and a flick to his bell. “Well, whatever the reasoning, we have a lot to figure out so we don’t expose you, Chat.”

“Yay...” He said sarcastically. “Alright, LB. What’s the plan?”

“Well, I’m going to need you to bring me there... as Marinette.”

“Ladybug, no. I can’t.

“It’s okay. I trust you to protect me, okay?”

Chat gave her a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll protect you. I promise.”

Ladybug detransformed and Marinette stood in her place. “Okay, Chat. He’s going to be angry at you, so you’ll need to drop me down somewhere below and I’ll walk over to him. Keep close to me in the shadows and if something seems wrong, come get me. I won’t know where the akuma is hiding until I get closer. He doesn’t seem very irrational, at least, not right now. We’ll see in a bit.”

Chat dropped her down to the alleyway. When she felt okay enough to move forward, she nodded at Chat to hide. She meekly popped her head out of the alleyway and made her way to Lost Time.

“Jules?” Marinette called out, nervously.

“Marinette!” He announced, happily. Marinette walked closer to him; her hands were clutched to her heart to act like it was out of fear. “Please do not be scared. I won’t hurt you.”

Marinette finally reached him, her eyes constantly searching for an object that didn’t make sense to his wardrobe. She noticed he was wearing all black, numbers and empty clock ticks scattered all over his clothes in neon greens, purples, and yellows. His eyes were covered in translucent green shades, while his hands were covered with purple gloves. The only thing that stood out was a silver watch on his wrist.

“Jules? What happened. Why are you like this?”

His demeanor changed from happy to angry. “I’m not Jules. I’m Lost Time.” He started. “You. You broke my heart, Marinette. I have been flirting with you, talking with you, even asking you out, and yet you go out with that mangy tom cat? What does he have that I don’t?”

“Chat Noir took me out dancing because I was upset. But he is my best friend and he surprised me. Please, Jules. There’s nothing to be upset about.”

“Lies!” He screamed causing Marinette to take a step back. “I saw you dancing with him. I saw you holding him the way you did. I saw that you almost kissed him if it wasn’t for the fireworks scaring you apart. Don’t you dare lie to me with that nonsense. I. Saw. You! The pictures on Instagram don’t lie.”

Okay, so she was definitely going to have to wheedle her way out of this one somehow. But this also meant that she couldn’t date Adrien publicly right away until this entire mess is fixed.

“Okay, okay. Yes, we almost kissed. I won’t lie to you. I get why you’re upset, but please, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I lost my chance with you. Lost my time to be with you. Haven’t you ever felt like you lost time?” He said, his voice strained from the pain.

“I know how that feels, Jules. Please trust me. I lost so much time with someone because of my own fault. Because of my own insecurities. I get it.”

“Well, I don’t care how you feel because I’m hurt and the only way to fix this is if I give Hawkmoth Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous.” The butterfly mask covered Lost Time’s eyes and as quickly as it came, it was gone. “Lucky for me, Hawkmoth gave me a great idea.”

Lost Time lunged at Marinette and she ran towards where she felt Chat would be hiding. Running quickly behind her, she could feel Lost Time gaining speed. Marinette looked over her shoulder and her eyes blew wide when he stuck out his arm and a ball of light started to form over his watch. Using his index and middle fingers, he pushed the beam out towards her.

Chat Noir jumped out just in time to leap her out of the way from a blast of light. Lost Time groaned out in anger as he watched Chat pick up Marinette bridal style off to an area where he could safely put her down.

A few more beams of light pounced towards them, one actually hitting them and engulfing them in a translucent light.

“Bye-bye kitty cat. I wonder how you’re Ladybug is going to do without her protector around.”

---

Marinette woke up splayed out on the roof of a building. Chat was already awake, rubbing his head as he overlooked his position.

“Chat?” Marinette groaned out as she sat herself up.

Chat ran over to Marinette and helped her up. “Hey are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I feel woozy, but I’m okay.” She looked up at him and could see a bruise forming on his forehead. She pushed his hair away to look at the injury better. “You have a bump. Are you okay?”

“Besides that, yeah. I’m okay. We’re still in Paris, but it isn’t our timeline anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Marinette said, confused. Chat pointed to a billboard over on the other side of the rooftop where it showed an older Adrien Agreste wearing a fitted black suit, a black button down with the silver buttons with an “M” inscribed on each one, and a signature red tie. He gave the camera a smoldering look, a slight smirk pulling at the edge of his lips, while his thumb pulled his bottom lip down just a tiny bit.

“Damn, Adrien.” Marinette said, fanning herself. “You age amazingly.”

“That’s not all, Marinette. Look in the corner.”

Marinette looked and noticed a change in who Adrien was modeling for. “MDC? But that’s my symbol. That’s my signature.” She turned to him. “I- I made it?”

Chat gave her a tight squeeze. “I always knew you could do it.”

“I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but...”

Chat and Marinette turned around and noticed three figures standing on the rooftop.

“Hey Minibug, Kitty Noir!” Bunnyx waved at them, excitedly. “We were wondering when you were going to show up.”

“Bunnyx? Ladybug? Chat Noir?” Marinette called out, looking at each one.

“Hey you two.” The older Ladybug called out. Her hair was out of her signature pigtails and into a ponytail. Her suit had changed too. She wore a red and black spotted high collar jacket over a black skin tight suit and gloves with a pair of red and black spotted thigh-high boots. She looked to be about 25 if Marinette had to guess.

“Nice of you to beam in.” The older Chat Noir said making younger Chat laugh out in a fit of giggles. His suit looked exactly the same except his zipper went down a little to where his bell used to sit. His hair was a high fade with longer teased locks dripped over to one side. He had a more muscular build, but overall looked as good as the billboard they spotted him on.

“I can see that I don’t stop punning, huh?” Younger Chat Noir finally said.

“Not at all, mini-me. We actually get better with our puns.”

“Told you Marinette. You’ll have to live with this furrever!”

“He’s right you know.” Older Ladybug teased. She walked up to Marinette and placed a hand on her shoulder. She gave Marinette a confident smile. “I can at least tell you this much. It’s okay you know. I remember this whole akuma and I remember what I had told myself right before the alert came out.” She quickly looked over at the older Chat Noir who was chatting away with his younger self. She knew he was going to give the same speech but with an added pun or two to break the ice. “He’s not wrong in his pre-proposal, even though he couldn’t wait 5 seconds after revealing himself.”

Marinette looked over to Chat and he was positively beaming. Older Ladybug leaned down and whispered something to her ear. “Keep this between you and me, but Adrien is going to need something positive to keep his focus on. It’s going to be a big year for both of you in so many ways. I won’t give away too much because I don’t want the future to change over something I said, but remember to follow his lead on some things, give him all the love you know he deserves, and always keep working together, no matter how hard some moments become.”

Marinette looked up with a frown. “Okay. I promise you I will.”

“I know you will.” Ladybug stood back up and looked over to Chat to see if he had finished his part of their conversation. When older Chat Noir looked up, they nodded towards each other in silent communication over their next move.

“Alright. We are all here to bring these two back to their timeline. Marinette. You are going to be bait. Mini-kitty. You’re going to keep tabs on her and be by her side the entire time. You are going to lure him out and then capture the akuma. I’ll be on standby to help purify the akuma since Marinette can’t do it. Kitty, I want you to stand by in case something goes wrong. Bunnyx. You keep an eye out to make sure the akuma isn’t messing up the time line. Everyone got it?”

“Got it.” Everyone said in unison.

Ladybug called out for her Lucky Charm and a ring dropped into her hands. Ladybug winked at Marinette and older Chat Noir let out a happy chuckle as he crossed his arms and shook his head.

“I remember this. Mini-kitty. That one’s for you.”

Mini-kitty beamed again and Marinette looked over to him with a happy sigh. “Later kitty. Okay?”

“Okay!”

Chat took out his baton and helped bring the two of them back onto the ground. They called out for Lost Time.

“Jules!” Marinette yelled; her hands wrapped around her mouth like a megaphone. “Jules, come out. Can we talk?”

Chat followed her lead. “Jules? Lost Time? I wanted to apologize. You can have Marinette! I’m not in love with her! I just got caught up in the moment.” Marinette stopped for a second and stared at him.

“What?” He said with a shrug. “We have to lure him out somehow.”

Marinette went back to calling. “Jules? Please come ou-”

A bright light appeared and Lost Time dropped onto the street in front of them. “Well, well, well. You are giving up on her that easily? I told you Marinette, he’s not worth it.”

Marinette ran up to the akuma and grabbed onto his hands. “You’re right, Jules. I’m so sorry for never giving you a chance.” She lowered her hands until it rested on his forearms. “Could you ever forgive me for how I rejected you?”

Jules narrowed his eyes but a hint of a smile could be seen. He gazed into her bright blue eyes. “Do you- do you really mean that?”

“Yes. Jules. Secretly, I liked you. I was just too enamored with my old crush to see the truth.” Marinette placed one hand on his cheek as she continued to lower her other hand until it reached the watch. “So how about that date?”

“Da- date?” The akuma swallowed, still staring into her eyes.

“Of course.” She continued until she reached the watch, unclasping it from its spot and throwing it behind her.

“Chat!” She screamed out, throwing the watch in his direction.

Chat called out his cataclysm, grasping onto the watch as it disintegrated into ash. Ladybug and older Chat Noir dropped down beside their younger selves and Ladybug captured the akuma, purifying it into the white butterfly.

Bunnyx dropped down beside the older duo, and the three winked as they managed quick goodbyes.

Ladybug called out for her Miraculous Ladybug and as quickly as they arrived, they were back to their original timeline.

“Time travel is weird.” Marinette said to Chat as he nodded to agree.

After Chat made sure the akuma victim was alright and Marinette talked over the problem with Jules, Chat Noir helped Marinette onto his back, bouncing over the rooftops until they reached her balcony.

“So that was a wild ride, huh Marinette?”

Chat detransformed and Adrien wrapped his arms around Marinette’s waist.

“You’re telling me.” Marinette nuzzled her nose into his neck. “So, Ladybug told me something today.”

“And what’s that bug?”

“That I should follow my heart.”

Adrien pulled away from her for a second and scrunched his nose. “Well, what is your heart telling you?”

“That you’re right and if you still want an answer to your question, I can give you an answer.”

Adrien waited with bated breath. “If you really don’t want to wait to propose to me, then I won’t make you wait. When you’re ready, ask me. I already know my answer.”

He smiled brightly, his pearly white teeth beaming in the moonlight. “Well don’t make me wait bug. What’s your answer?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a long, but gentle, kiss. When she pulled away to take a breath, she leaned her forehead against his and peered into his glossy green eyes.

“Yes.”

------------------------------

I wanted to say thank you all for all the kudos and comments. I never planned on writing this story, but my Marichat heart could not hold out from writing it.

Thank you for hanging out with me these last 31 days and I hope you enjoyed the final chapter.

#marichatmay2020 #miraculous ladybug fanfic #marichat

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youarejesting · 5 years ago

Text

Femme: 38

[MASTERLIST]

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader,

Rating: Mature.

Warnings: America (just kidding), talking on talk shows, mentions of periods, swearing.

Length: 1.5k words

Announcement: 700 Followers!!! That is so crazy you guys, I hope you are enjoying this story.

Recap: Pushing Namjoon to confess brings more bad than good. Jungkook returns his feelings and the two grow close. Seokjin, however, is left longing for love. And though you swore you wouldn’t interfere with matters of the heart you encouraged him to confess. He was given the love he longed for.

The weeks of planning your trip had passed, and the boys had all grown quite close. You had spent some very passionate evenings with them. One of your favourite experiences was the night Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon disciplined yourself and the maknaes. Tied with the night Jin held your hands while Namjoon and Taehyung were making love to you both.

Landing in America, feeling extremely jet-lagged and airsick from the pressure of landing, left your ears blocked. This was causing your body to teeter off balance. Seokjin held you to his side trying to relieve the dizziness, as you all scrambled into a maxi-taxi to the hotel.

With no knowledge of how you had made it to your room, you slept through until dinner. Feeling absolutely lethargic and disgusting you realized due to the length of your siesta, you hadn’t been drinking water. The water in the taps tasted strange, almost making you gag. Chlorine. Taking your glass, Namjoon handed you a bottle from the minibar.

“This will taste better, love” he smiled kissing your temple. “Are you hungry? The boys bought some groceries, but we can also order room service if you wish” Searching the canvas bags, you found peaches. You had been dreaming about them so often you knew you wanted to have it. It was everything you wanted and more.

“Where did the boys go?” Stretching on the balcony because it was stuffy in the room, you smiled fondly at the beautiful night view. “They wanted to go explore the town and do some shopping. Will you be okay for the interviews tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe we went from one TV interview to three TV interviews five talk shows and a radio appearance.” You sighed, once you announced that you were going to America on your Channel other companies called to schedule you. “It is going to be a busy two days”

You all woke abnormally early due to the time differences, it was still dark outside. Deciding to start the morning by vlogging for the channel, you all spoke about your first day in America. Jiyong had called up some of his connections in order to get you a hair and makeup team. They worked wonders and you all felt like a million dollars wearing the Dragon couture made by Jiyong himself.

Your tummy was feeling a little upset, from all the travel, strange sleep schedules, the different food and water and to top it all off your period had started thankfully quite light, what a combo. You live-streamed all the way to the venue telling everyone to tune in online to see your interviews and the talk shows afterwards. The boys were nervous, Jungkook had been mumbling to himself a small speech in English he had prepared a week earlier.

The interviews were fun. The people were super nice and seemed to have so many questions. Taking a break for Lunch before you headed to the studio where you were meeting someone who was the 3020 Ellen. Straightening your collar, you were feeling a little nauseous with what could only be nerves. The waves of sickness seemed to fade the moment you were introduced and the crowd started clapping.

“Please put your hands together for the newest internet sensation, BTS Femme!” You lead the way, walking to the host and shaking hands. Waving to the crowd before you sat on the plush couch. The boys were all waving at the camera. Seokjin blew kisses before they were reeled in by Namjoon to sit down and behave.

They all looked so happy and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for being with them. You started talking explaining the name and why you started the channel. “It was scary, I was in a different country in a different time, with people I didn’t know and I knew other Femmes must feel this way. I thought to make a Femme guide, to teach others what they might come across within the Femme program and not only to the applicants but to other Femmes out there to show that they aren’t alone and yes it is scary. But it is also beautiful.”

“How long were you frozen for?” The host smiled “A few months over a thousand years” “What about you boys what was it like seeing, y/n for the first time?” “We had heard from the seminars that a Femme can be very wary and closed off, not to mention the dark stories on the web,” Namjoon rubbed his hands together periodically looking over the boys and the crowd “But she was so open, she didn’t shy away and tried to get to know us almost instantly. I guess we are lucky to have such an open and accepting partner.”

“Tae was the first to speak. He said one word, which at the time I didn’t know what it meant but he smiled as he said it and it made me smile. Do you remember the first thing you said to me?” “Gwiyeoun,” he said, making grabbing motions with his hands, Namjoon decided to explain for everyone. “Ah what he says means cute or adorable, because she was so small stepping out of the big cryogenic pod”

“So fast forward to the present, you are all engaged to be married, it is rare for Femme’s to wed all her applicants, usually they choose one or two, what made you choose all of them?” You played with your ring. “I am going to be real with you here. These boys are sweet, attentive and encouraging. We have open communication because every healthy relationship needs good communication. And for us it opened the door we could share our feelings, and those feelings happened to turn into love.”

“That’s so sweet, and can I talk about some of the special guests that you have on your vlogs? I really fell in love with the group you dub the boys next door, I hear they recently made their own name TXT which means Tomorrow by together.” “Ah our Dongsaengs, we see them as our annoying little brothers,” Yoongi spoke slowly getting cut off by Jungkook who laughed talking in Korean.

“He says that he finds them annoying but he actually really loves them” Namjoon translated and they all explained the Christmas break-in story, which you had never told the fans. Everyone was laughing.

The talk show was over and you were going to move onto the next. Making a short stop to the toilet you realized you had forgotten to bring your feminine hygiene products in your bag. You went to the stall taking out your phone. Trying to decide whether you text one of the boys to purchase some products for you. When you notice you weren’t bleeding any more.

It had been a stressful week and you did feel a little dehydrated, it would probably return later that evening when your body relaxed in the comfort of your hotel. Not dwelling on it, you sat through another two talk shows before dinner. Dead on your feet by the time you headed back to the hotel, glad that was all for today. But tomorrow was the radio appearance where you luckily didn’t need to dress up as you wouldn’t be seen.

“Next time we will pay the hair and makeup team for extra days, I can’t do a packed schedule again” Yoongi groaned laying face down on the bed. Seokjin was ordering room service through Namjoon and you had cuddled into Taehyung’s chest.

Feeling something wet on your face, you stirred awake to Seokjin cleaning the makeup from your skin. You heard Yoongi swearing at Hoseok who was trying to do the same thing.

“Just let me wipe your makeup off” Hoseok was now sitting on Yoongi’s chest trying to restrain his arms and legs. “Suck my dick!” The small mint haired male growled at Hoseok. “I kind of hoped you could suck mine” “You still owe me from last time”

You sat up and headed to the bathroom. Starting the shower you undressed slowly, leaving the door wide open, an invitation. You washed your hair and face and Taehyung, joined his eyes barely open as he began washing the products from his hair and skin. You both ended up sitting on the bottom of the shower until Jimin lured you out with the promise of hamburgers.

You were sitting at the dining table your back aching from maintaining your posture on camera. Hoseok took pity, massaging your body, moaning you leaned back against his chest. Letting his hands wander to your breasts, giving them a small squeeze, you threw his hands off crying out.

“Why would you do that?” You accused him, he looked shocked his hands up in surrender, “that hurt!” “Jagiya I am so sorry I didn’t know” “I’m sorry too, I get emotional around this time of the month” you excused yourself to go to bed early.

The rest of your free time in America left you kind of miserable, after the stress of tv appearances and interviews. You had developed a cold unable to stop sneezing. Wanting to go back to your home. The idea of sleeping in the living room on the soft plush futons, cuddling your boys.

Femme Media 38

Next Chapter

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