#the last gig
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dilfosaur · 3 months ago
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burnout’s been hitting pretty hard so fuck it we making photocards of my neopets now
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madamemiz · 2 months ago
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kels n kerfs ft 10 ft tall wife
when does he get to be carried around like a purse dog
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izzystizzys · 4 months ago
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“…I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I still don’t quite understand”, Fox says, for what must be the dozenth time that hour. His heartbeat pounds behind his eyes in an incessant drum of hurt, and his head aches with every breath like someone’s taken a rusty fork to the inside of his skull and raked his brain out. Fox’ eyes are beginning to burn the way they start doing around hour 80 of a shift, and he has to suppress the brief urge to check over his shoulder. Not even Stabby could come up with a ploy this contrived to make him sleep. Probably.
In front of him, General Grievous coughs awkwardly, long spindly durasteel limbs shivering with its force. “Certainly”, he vocalizes, in that deep, watery cadence. “For your glorious triumphs in battle, your awe-inspiring victory over me in close combat, and your undeniable warrior spirit, I accept you as my consort. I have proven my skills through the ritual capture, and thus, by Kaleesh custom, we are now wed, Commander Fox. I will honor you as my war-bride, and visit vengeance upon your enemies. I swear it to you.”
Expectantly, Grievous tilts his faceplate to the side, and Fox only just catches the suppression of the manic giggle that wants to escape him. Yeah, probably not Stabby - maybe a dying fever dream? Has the infected gash from that skirmish on the lower levels five rotations ago finally decided to end him? If so, it’s not fast enough for Fox’ tastes.
Here’s how it happened: Fox has no kriffing clue. All he knows is one moment an emergency alert tore him from precious Scream Closet time this morning, he went to rescue the Chancellor’s dumb ass again, and whoop, here he is on General Grievous’ ship with the war-criminal himself declaring them happily married. And eyeing him up and down like a piece of candy.
Why, Fox thinks, desperately, does this always have to happen to me?!
Chancellor’s still kidnapped, by the way. Fox has other priorities for the time being.
“I swear to aim my weapons in your service”, Grievous continues, when it becomes exceedingly clear Fox is not going to break out of his shocked stupor anytime soon. “I swear to aim true and strike with murderous intent, I swear to uphold the sacred bonds of our clans in the name of our union, I swear to raise a strong, bloodthirsty brood of warriors with-“
“Wait”, Fox interrupts, once his brain has caught up past the astromech dial-up sound it seems to be playing on repeat. “Uphold clan bonds? You murder your way through my brothers like a rabid nexu on spice on the regular!”
Grievous’ faceplate, which should be for all intents and purposes totally expressionless, does something that reminds Fox strangely of contrition. It has him gaping and shivering in discomfort, in any case. “A fact I regret, but acknowledge lies in my past before the fateful crossing of our paths. I am a warrior at soul, you must understand, my worthy mate.” Durasteel faceplates don’t turn soft. They don’t. And coughs don’t sound loving. They simply do not. “But I uphold the bonds of these sacred vows under Kaleesh law, that I swear to you, my beloved.”
“All I did was grapple you to the ground”, Fox says, mourningly. “Cody has kicked you in the head dozens of times and you’ve never tried to marry him.”
“He is not you, and his battle lacks the lustful vitality and love of violence of yours”, Grievous declares, and Fox really cannot tell whether the sound that erupts from him is a lovelorn sigh or a hacking death-gurgle. This cannot be his life.
Just then, a droid conveniently enters, putting a pause to all Fox’ sufferings. He’ll need to tell Thorn to research Kaleesh divorce proceedings. Or, better yet - he needs to blow up this whole karking ship including himself and destroy all evidence of this ever happening.
“Generals Kenobi and Skywalker awaiting in custody, Sir”, says the droid, nervously. “They are here to rescue Chancellor Palpatine, but we cut them off just out of the hangar bay.”
Internally, Fox rolls his eyes so hard it hurts his brain. “The Jedi can wait”, Grievous hacks out, and for once Fox agrees with him. Let the two dick around onboard, there’s bigger issues at hand.
“But Sir”, says the droid, all twitchy with an anxiety Fox eternally wonders who the kriff programmed into the damn things, “what if they try to escape and -“
A deep, growling noise erupts from deep within Grievous’ massive metal chest, amplifying Fox’ pounding headache by a thousandfold. “I have no time for this”, he snarls at the cowering droid. “Remove yourself from my and mine beloved’s sight.”
“Roger Roger”, the B2 squeaks, hesitantly, before adding on - “The Chancellor-“
Harrumphing petulantly, Grievous stomps one massive, clawed foot and makes what feels like the whole viewdeck shake. “I will twist his head off his body like a rotten fruit”, he declares. “That will get those pesky Jedi off my ship faster, and then we can continue saying our vows.” He pauses, thoughtfully, and then hooded eyes ringed by what must surely be rotten flesh fix on Fox inexorably. “It will be my wedding gift to you, beloved, an offering of peace to your brothers.”
Fox opens his mouth to protest, but quickly snaps it shut again when his husband already turns tail and storms off.
Huh. Maybe this marriage thing isn’t all bad.
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targarrus · 4 months ago
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generacija ljubezni
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postapocalypticjugband · 5 months ago
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Favorite Character played by Lee Pace as voted by my tumblr poll
3: Joe Macmillan in Halt & Catch Fire
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lavonq · 2 months ago
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I miss bolero. It was majestic, unique, one of a kind thing that always brought me emotions hard to describe
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jaarijani · 9 days ago
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Trick or treat
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HAPPY late HALLOWEEN!!! have a spooooooky puppy bojan wip <3
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smimon · 29 days ago
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Btw it's been one year since my first Käärijä gig woohoo what a year it's been
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See you in two months, party guy
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mitamicah · 19 days ago
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Jere in @clovermoonspell's bolero because I am such a proud dad that needed all the pictures :'D
Heaven, 10.18.24
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whereismyhat5678 · 4 months ago
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*Cracks knuckles*
Let the crossovers……BEGIN
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And finally:
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Anxiety, stop it. You giving them existential crises. >:(
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lazylittledragon · 8 months ago
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question for ghost fans who were there for the transition from terzo - copia (or before), how did you. deal with that. because i've only been a fan while popia has been around and i think when he dies/moves on i'm going to be genuinely emotionally devastated
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wanderingaldecaldo · 4 months ago
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shirt by @breezypunk
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wikitpowers · 5 months ago
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[REMINDER] dru and thais will go to see simon & his band play at pandemonium in tlkof 🤯
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vulpineknave · 22 days ago
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Dirty Pretty Things, 7 June 2004 by Andrew Kendall
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libraryspectre · 4 days ago
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My wife is starting to establish herself in the music scene around here, and no matter how famous she gets we will always owe it all to her original fan club, an extremely dedicated group of old men who come to every show they can lol
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