#the last 2 make me so bonkers

[quigzahhutt]

New photos on the aa23 site gave us a delicious smattering of sargebon photos

Source

[i-am-a-multiple-choice-question]

WELCOME ! ꩜ .ᐟ

hey !! this is a blog dedicated to my experience with plurality !!

im the creator (or as most people say, "host") of this system !! i sort of use plural, system, headmates, alters, parts, facets, ect interchangeably and would like others too as well !!

the flags in my profile picture in order from left to right are: median system flag, parasian system flag, moneotien system flag, monoconcious system flag, and the plural flag !! the flag on nepeta's cheek is the queer flag !! (none of those are origins)

important information below !!

DNI+BYF+EXTRAS !!

my dni is here on this pinned post. read it before interacting with me (main is @aftonsparv-bugzz !!) (this post was last updated wednesday 29th may 2024 at 19:33/07:33pm)

please note that if you ask/talk about ANY syscourse of ANY kind, you will be getting ignored and possibly blocked. i try keep myself furthest from it, so dont include me in it.

queer discourse is stupid to me. lesboys, turigirls, mspec monos, and contradictory labels are welcome here. i use them myself, after all. if you come to me hating on those, iwill just ignore you

here is how youcan help palestine, this is important !! (please donate IF YOUCAN, but if not because youre a minor, or dont have enough money to, or whatever reason, that is ok you are not a bad person for not being able to donate for palestine, make sure to support it in other ways though like boycotting companies, signing petitions, ect !!)

be nice to my alters. they have their own boundaries which ishall list here from what i remember (they might chose to edit anything)

ME:

do not by any means reality check me

do not mention ghostbusters around me/share it to me (ghostbuster fans can interact !! it just triggers me !!)

please tag ghostbusters

do not make redhead jokes or use the word "g*nger" around me (blurred cause idont like using it + an alter gets triggered by it :oP)

(if you ever post/repost it) please tag redhead jokes

dont call me slurs unless isay youcan !!

do not talk to me about hating my kintypes, dni if you do hate my kintypes/actively post about hating my kintypes

do not stereotype my kintypes at all

do not share photos of animal skeletons/taxidermy/ect around me, please tag it if you post it

please tag sexual posts

please tag paras/mentions of paras, and do not bring up paras around me please (even non contact ones, paraphiles can interact but please dont bring it up to me, it genuinely makes me extremely uncomfortable)

please tag reblog bait, due to my avpd ican get really anxious and iget panic attacks really often, reblog bait just worsens my anxiety

please tag long reblog posts (posts that a bunch of people reblogged saying stuff in which makes the post really really long)

my/(technically our) trigger tag is "tesco dont look" this applies for all of us and can be used on all posts that might trigger me or the others

you are not forced to tag anything for us, but we would very much appreciate it

try not trigger my body, gender and species dysphoria please

never use "delulu" around me and dni if youdo use it (unless you are an actual delusional person reclaiming it from abelists)

never use the s slur (one for schizospecs) or say youre "sch*zoposting" dni if youdo (unless youre a schizospec and can reclaim that)

you reality check delusional/hallucinatory systems, tell them theyre "not real", or tell them they "dont deserve a place on the internet, and should just get offline or be in a hospital*" (yes ihave sadly seen this happen, it shocked me)

im delusional and these things hurt me really badly, idont want abelists interacting. if youdont experience delusions/hallucinations, youdont get to talk about how bad it is and whether they should be online or not. also, youshould never reality check someone, no matter what youthink. not reality checking someone is for their own safety

do not call me a demon/anything similar to that, or bring up anything to do with demons around me. past experiences trigger me really bad.

refer to me as a single being, although iam a system id prefer to be seen as a singlet

use all alternating pronouns for me specifically.

do not say "well because youre a system then you id with multiple identities and have a complex identity due to being a system" to me. my complexity is not due to me being a system, and plus, i id with whatever makes me comfortable.

do not fakeclaim me

do not say anything that might trigger my delusions/derealisation/paranoia/ect

do not vent in my tags/vent without consent

do not call me "human" or "person", youcan call me a "being" instead if needed, but if that topic doesnt come up just refer to me by typical things (name, pronouns, kintypes, ect)

do not force me to reblog things !!

do not call me the host/creator/ect unless needed to !!

NEVER USE "she/her" FOR NEPETA ON THIS BLOG UNLESS I EXPLICITLY SAY YOUCAN !! (not referring to me as nepeta (though dont use "she/her" when referring to me as nepeta), imean dont use "she/her" for the character nepeta themself. or "shi/hir*", "shx/hxr" ect (THESE PRONOUNS ARE SO VALIDDDD !!!! just makes me uncomfortable when used to refer to nepeta, sorry !!) please thanks. youcan use those headcanons on your blogs, not mine. nepeta kins/fictives/under that umbrella who use those pronouns are fine, idont really care and cant control what pronouns you use anyway, but when referring to nepeta (on this blog) PLEASE dont use those pronouns.) im NOT comfortable with it !! do not use she/her when referring to me as nepeta or referring to the character nepeta to me at all (*iam (pretty sure im) perisex*, this shouldnt be use on me anyway heres why) (*i experience delusions of being intersex, but do not feel comfortable using "shi/hir" when icannot)

if youwant to be mewtuals, please ask on my main blog @aftonsparv-bugzz and please follow my main to insinuate youwant to be mewtuals !! /not forcing otherwhise i'll hust assume youre here because you like what i post (which is valid !!, this is just some information !! :3c)

my sign off tag will be -🌀🦈‼️ !! (this might change though, due to my decidiophobia !!)

NEPETA:

do not reality check them

do not use/call slurs and swears around cat (yes, even reclaimable slurs aka slurs youcan reclaim)

do not use the words "st*pid, idi*t, d*mb sh*t up" ect around them or call it those words

use their pronouns, even its neopronouns

they use the term fictive and fictionkin interchangeably, so use those terms for them

do not make even the slightest nsfw joke or comment around them

do not make sui jokes or venty jokes around it

do not separate it from its source

do not share any gore/blood/death/horror around it

do not force it to label paw's sexuality

do not bully it

do not bully their typing quirk, they cant not use it (ican put translations for it, but do not ask scratch for translations as they physically cannot give one due to their personal reasons)

do not bully it when in littlespace/petspace

do not fakeclaim them

act normal about it being nepeta

do not quirkify them for being a fictive, even if theyre your "favourite character"

do not interact if you identify with nepeta from homestuck in any way (xenogendered, fictkin, ect)

do not interact if you selfship with terezi or nepeta

dont judge it for being a scenekid

never use he/him or masculine pronouns on them

dont bring up gamzee around them

MY SIGN OFF TAG WILL BE -🐾🌈‼️ (NEPETA)

[REDACTED]

call them "??" or "[REDACTED]" spelt like that only

do not at all use caps around them.

swears, derogatory words, (eg st*pid) nsfw jokes, sui/venty jokes are not allowed near them.

dont be loud or abnoxiously over excited near them /not mad /lighthearted

do not force them to speak or write. they are nonverbal + non scribal

they most likely communicate through pictures, so be nice

act normal around them

do not speak in a loud tone/over-excited tone around them

do not bully them

either use no pronouns for it, or use any pronouns (though they seem to like they/it)

BUZY

do not make redhead jokes or use the word "g*nger" around her

do not use slurs of any kind around her (yes, even ones youcan reclaim)

use little to no swears/derogatory language around her, it makes her uncomfortable due to past experience

do not expect her to know anything about lgbtqia2s+ (she hasnt fronted for ages until recently and so she doesnt know much about any queer identities)

do not bring up heavy christianity around her, or make "im getting the bible/holy water/ect" jokes around her because even though shes christian, she has trauma around it + those jokes and it makes her uncomfortable

do not show gore/blood/horror/death around her

do not by any means share nsfw art/make nsfw jokes/nsfw comments around her, she gets so triggered by it and is very uncomfortable with it. we both most likely have hypersexuality, and so shes really sensitive to it

she hasnt fronted in ages (until like last week) she doesnt know anything about 2024/2024 jokes, ect so shed rather youdont make those jokes around her unless you explain it

she gets angry and upset really easily, and is also extremely insecure and affected by our avpd, do not make fun of her/bully her/tease her ect

do not say anything that'll worsen her body dysphoria. she is very very bodily dysmorphic, so be gentle with her

do not call her a demon, or bring up anything to do with demons around her. past experiences trigger us really bad.

do not mention/ask about her friends/twin sister

do not ask about her christianity

dont judge her for having the "2020 alt aesthetic"

ARADIA

do not question her/make them out to be weird/bully/be rude about her dating another system member

do not act creepy or weird about sollux around her, sollux selfshippers dni for her personally

do not say it talks/acts weird

do not quirkify them for being a fictive, even if shes your "favourite character"

dni if you selfship with her

SOLLUX

do not bully him for never leaving headspace lol bee is a bit cagey about never leaving headspace and fronting yet

do not question him/make them out to be weird/bully/be rude about it dating another system member

do not act creepy or weird about aradia around him, aradia selfshippers dni for them personally

never use she/her on him, or any feminine pronouns

do not quirkify them for being a fictive, even if hes your "favourite character"

dni if you selfship with him

TEREZI

do not force her not to use their typing quirk/bully them for using it

do not quirkify them for being a fictive, even if shes your "favourite character"

do not interact if you selfship with terezi or nepeta

do not reality check them. THEY BELICE THEY IN A SOECIFIC DELUSION WHICH IWONT BE STATING FOR THEIR SAFETY.

only use she/they exclusively for them. rarely use "her" on them

she is very teasy and playfully mean but do not hesitate to tell them to stop !!

that should be it for now. more headmates may want to add onto this/fix this but please respect everyones boundaries. (also there are more facets in this system, but this is just all the boundaries of the others that ican remember)

now that that is done, lets get into some interesting things !!

MY INTERESTS

homestuck, icp, tmnt, little shop of horrors, spiderman, class of 09, miffy/sanrio/domo-kun/toro-inoue, miku/vocaloids, grease, les miserables, detective connan, little witch academia, hilda, sky cotl, bocchi the rock, west side story, the lego movie, needy streamer overload, storybots, lmk, garfield, pokemon, mlp, 1984, animal farm, ddlc, omori (ish), crk/crob, a bunch of studio gibli movies, ect !!

NON-FANDOM INTRESTS

clowns, space, science, music, psychology (ESPECIALLY phobias), languages (ish), komodo dragons, animals, facts (facts in general, most science) art, religion, (ish) queer community and contradictory labels in queer history, writing, xenogenders, alterhumanity, ect (theres probably more i just forgor)

HOBBIES

drawing, writing, (sometimes) reading, (opera) singing, playing musical instruments, (learning piano, might learn more instruments in the future) cooking/baking, skiing, ect !! theres probably more i just keep forgetting :oP

TAG GUIDE

-🦈🌀‼️: tesco's sign off

"its the beauty of the carnival the magic's in the tents !!🃏 𖤐⊹₊ 🎪⋆": just general talking

"this troll disease called friendship ༘⋆": mewtuals

"they are my precious gay little babies !!☆": positive anon asks (if iget any !! ihave gotten abit before, so im only keeping this here to use if ido get any !!)

"my kind was never meant to have friends⚰️": vents/negative experiences

"give me your money": sillyposting !!

"note to you: next time, make your weapons out of high-grade titanium !!⊹࣪˖": tips of mine !!

"and its going at your direction, cause thats the direction to be angry at !!": angry posting

"youre so cute but so mean !!౨ৎ": anon hate (if iget any !! ihave gotten abit before, so im only keeping this here to use if ido get any !!)

"we are just typical normal humans who got lost in the middle of our normal everyday human lives⋆˚🐾˖°": talking about kintypes/nonhuman alters

"based on our velocity and entry angle....": me waffling/rambling

"URANIUM !!/BOOYAKASHA!!!!/WHOOP WHOOP !!💥💥‼️" me excited/rambling about positive things

"we're lean, we're green and we're mean !!": my art/comics related to plurality

"our lord awaits your servitude and tutelage at once.": religion posting/talking about religion

"told you guys iwas the funniest": stupid super unfunny plural humour

"this romantic tension is so palpable. will they, wont they ? how can you guys even concentrate ?‧₊˚ ⛲️ ‧₊": talking about all kinds of relationships as a system (relationships, platonic, ect)

"no matter how buried it gets, or how lost you feel, you must promise me that you will hold on to hope. ₊˚ʚ 🌱 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.": plural positivity !!

"and no, being caught or killed or found never truly scared me.🌱🍃🍓🌷": long posts !! filter this out if long posts just arent your thing :3c

"hoho you weren't invited and you came anyway ??˚꒰🎱꒱⋆": general anon asks !!

"i promise i'll get back to my critical lecture as soon as this promiscuous busybody leaves us in peace": things that arent the general systemposting but are me questioning stuff !!

"okay, let's do this one last time, yeahִ ࣪✮🕷✮⋆˙": system introductions !! (this'll be added on when i start fronting again, or if any headmate sees this and goes "oh ishould tag the post with this" otherwise it'll be added when i start fronting again)

"as youcan clearly see, there are only 2 sets of compatible quadrants here for legitimate concupiscent paring ꒰ ⋆.˚ .ᐟ.ᐟ ": explaining my plurality/systemhood

"idont believe in consistency🎸⋆⭒˚｡⋆" posts without the main focus on systemhood/plurality/posts that have been posted here and not on my sideblogs for whatever reason

"gotham is bonkers, yo !!꩜ᯓ★" posts that icant be asked to tag

hey by the way igot the homestuck quotes from this website its really useful youshould check it out !!

\ | /

DIVIDER CREDITS !!

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, SO READ IT !!

teeth dividers (warning for their blog: may not be safe, alot of unreality, derealisation, ect so watch out !! that is not to out op in bad light, just making sure my fellow delusionalgang and hallucinationsgang watch out !! also, igot OP's permission to use these without reblogging, but my advice would be to ask before using !!)

top pink divider + sanrio plushie dividers

the stars with the little creature dividers

"delusion prone" blinkie (the other blinkie is made by me using blinkies cafe !!)

@/thefranticfreakshow for the banner !!

youve gotten to the end !! take a little nepeta and equius to go !! :3c

[vocaloid-song-showdown]

the poll for how to arrange the brackets just finished with proceeding as originally planned winning!

so, without further ado, here are the lineups ^^

note :: songs with a * next to them may require a content warning. i'll provide specific warnings as soon as i have the time, but as of now please proceed with caution

main matchup bracket ::

alice of human sacrifice* by yugami p / fear garden* by chaa

magnet by minato p / romeo and cinderella by doriko

world is mine by ryo / world's end dancehall by wowaka

triple baka by lamaze p / the disappearance of hatsune miku by cosmo p

meltdown by iroha(sasaki) / luka luka★night fever by samfree

fire◎flower by halyosy / trick and treat by oster project

daughter of evil by mothy / dancing★samurai by kanimiso p

rolling girl by wowaka / matryoshka by hachi

madness of duke venomania* by mothy / alluring secret ~black vow~ by hitoshizuku x yama

senbonzakura by kurousa / outer science by jin

doubleganger by kulfiq / mikusabbath by utsu p

jinsei reset button by kemu / common world domination by pinnochio p

the fox's wedding* by masa works design / tokio funka by takamatt

heat haze days by jin / patchwork staccato by toa

six trillion years and an overnight story by kemu / lost one's weeping by neru

aishite aishite aishite by kikuo / echo by crusher p

setsuna drive by taki yoshimitsu / yoake to hotatu by n buna

a fake fake psychotropic by kairiki bear / therefore you and me by tadanoco

my r* by kurage p / i'm glad youre evil too by pinnochio p

chururira chururira dadada by kurage p / mkdr by deco*27

blessed messiah and the tower of ai by hitoshizuku x yama / 86 by dasu

law evading rock by neru / nakakapagpabagabag by dasu

sand planet by hachi / ghost rule by deco*27

monster by kira / hated by life itself by iori kanzaki

cause i'm a liar by mcki robyns p / honey i'm home by ghost

hole dwelling by kikuo / bring it on by giga

meteor by divela / seraphim on the ring by mitchie m

the court jester by thquib / casino by azari

king by kanaria / villain by teniwoha

lower by lanndo / phony by tsumiki

higanbana milk tea by vane / scapegoat by ghost

queen by kanaria / bug by kairiki bear

honorable mention bracket ::

electric angel by yasuo p (original), giga (giga arrange) / freely tomorrow by mitchie m

po pi po by lamaze p / go google it by wintermint p

black★rock shooter by ryo / bacterial contamination by kanimiso p

i like you, i love you by gevanni p / first love academy • school of true love by nem

(also a quick general note ! i don't have everything ready for a formal polished reveal at the time of posting this. i plan on updating this post with links to the songs and also a visual bracket when i have the time. they'll definitely be up soon, so make sure to check back in a bit for them ^^

i'll also make sure that reblogs are turned on for the final version!)

[splatanastamprr]

Been thinking about this a while so as the Shattering Spirits are being rolled back soon here are my thoughts on the Sky Economy. a VERY long post.

Event Spacing (1)

I joined right after Season of Prophecy ended, Season of Dreams was to start in about 3~ weeks? not sure since it was a long while ago.

Later seasons I notice rather than getting up to a month of season downtime, we now get as little as less than a week to break between seasons. Season gaps became slim. Hardly time for off season daily candle quests that make racking up normal candles easier.

On top of this, “Days Of —“ Events became more and more prominent, being mashed on top of Travelling spirits and new off season cosmetics that cost white candles. There’s no room to breathe, its almost a punishment to players who’ve taken breaks from the game after burning out from having to candle run consistently just for new items. Cosmetics that they miss out on get price hikes from their original value in reruns with the new ticket system. It’s a cycle of fomo and it’s what’s killing the playerbase in the first place.

The lack of spacing seems pretentious in a way, since nearly with every update, a new game breaking bug is rolled out, makes it feel ironic since season down gaps have been cut for seemingly no reason.

Ticketing (2)

A while ago TGC added the ticket system denoting inflation in the sky economy, it was made to remedy the fact people can’t keep affording everything with candles.

Yes it did help somewhat, as the tickets are very easy to collect, but with 3 new ftp cosmetics that are bought with these tickets and some things costing up to a weeks worth of tickets it’s easy to have to skip these items because some people just don’t want to do more daily searching on top of the already daily quests from the questgiver.

Returning items not only are insanely expensive but additionally do not equate the energy spent grinding in their original release (The Days of Sunlight towels from last year have no right being that expensive whatsoever.)

Candles (3)

Early 2021, around March the Daily Light “Chevron” was rolled out as a way to farm light without feeling the pressure to grind insanely hard daily (since very many people were asking for a way to get candles more leisurely, since candle running was very time consuming)

It became redundant as the prices for candle items was driven up very far. Not to be so “back in my day” but genuinely the need to candle run extensively in the way we do now wasn’t as big as it is now.

This is funny. Because now I see people asking for the same thing. A faster, less grindy way to candle run.

the first in game event I participated in was the first Days of Bloom, the cherry blossom cape was 70 candles (which to me was VERY expensive at the time). The following year’s wisteria cape cost 105, then the next tulip cape cost 110. The first price driveup was already kind of nuts to me (is the cape really worth a 35 candle mark up to the first one?) It’s hard to even prepare with the aforementioned small event gaps, it’s punishing to newer players and players who’ve skipped events out of burnout without any time to prepare for candles unless you pay real money to get candles quickly.

Assuming an average person clears their chevrons daily (15-17 candles) and heart trades with their friends (-3 for every person traded with) it’s hard to afford everything that comes your way. Travelling spirit prices are near doubling what they used to, items now costing over 100 candles with the inclusion of the batshit expensive nesting shop it really burns people out knowing you can’t afford everything you want in a game you already grind daily in. It’s demanding.

IAP items (4)

Do I even have to talk about this. The Sunlight Chunky sandals cost more than you can buy actual sandals. Why are in game cosmetics costing up to $25 USD. Huh. I could buy a whole meal for that.

Cute little items cost only a dollar before but now they’re like $3 and its kind of bonkers to me. I have to pay $3 whole dollars for a tiny jellyfish on my shoulder. is this not crazy. im not crazy right? dont wanna get deep into this but jesus my wallet

So why do I care so much? (5)

Sky is a game I hold near and dear to my heart. But I notice people including myself have stopped playing for the same, very painful reason. The fact that Sky is very buggy with little to no compensation to players as well as the Economy being so. So very bad. as well as the shithole that was shattering (the hype for that season was so crazy because yay lore!!! no actually Fuck you crab stunlock 100000)

I know people will be “Well you don’t HAVE to buy — item”, but the game’s userbase is driven completely on grinding for new cosmetics. The active playerbase is driven on just candlerunning. The lore is interesting but there’s hardly anything in game to go off of, there’s little to no curiosity for what the game is and it’s story because it gets more and more arbitrary as TGC refuses to talk about it in game. (Jenova Chen saying that games are not an effective storytelling format really pisses me off sorry)

The cycle of fomo that is essentially required to keep the playerbase going just makes me feel like this game is made on popsicle sticks and prayers (thanks aspen for this line). I can’t find myself to love sky in the same way I used to as a moth.

anyways this is really messy. Sorry. but like damn this is kind of a sad thing to me. made this post because a rant on yt got misogynistic in the middle out of nowhere so i wanted to give my own take minus the misogyny

[mediumgayitalian]

prev

———

Twenty minutes later, Solace hurries out of his cabin in cowboy boots.

And jeans.

Nico gapes at him.

“Go go go go go, questions later,” Will hisses, herding him behind the Apollo cabin. “We are on a time limit, we gotta —”

“You’re wearing close-toed shoes.”

“Yes, yes, sometimes I wear the clothes that I own. Wild. Let’s go.” Will tugs, uselessly, on his arm, but Nico’s half-certain his jaw has taken root in the ground, cementing him in place, because what the actual shit.

“Solace, you wore flip-flops to the snow-smothered bus stop in January. I thought you had, like, a condition!”

“I do have a condition. It’s called You Are Not Hurrying, Death Breath, let’s go —”

This time when he pulls, Nico stumbles after him, ducking under windowsills and inching around flower gardens. Every time someone so much as looks in their direction, Will plants both hands on his chest and shoves them into a corner somewhere, craning his neck to watch until they move on. Every time he does, another piece of Nico’s soul breaks away from his body and descends into hell. There is an actual trail of bones and tilled earth and dead grass behind him. Will doesn’t need to worry about being stealthy — the death aura of Nico’s dignity is large enough to scare off anything within a four mile radius.

“In here!”

Undeterred by the death aura, for some reason, Will seizes his bicep and shoves him in a crack between the Hypnos and Dionysus cabins. He slips in a millisecond later, crowding him against the warm bricks, forearm pressed awkwardly next to Nico’s head.

“Hnggh,” Nico gasps, mournfully wishing his last sliver of self-respect goodbye. Rest in fucking peace. “Do you have to be so — close, Will, gods —”

“Shhh!”

“If you shush me again I am going to rip your throat out —”

“Go, go, go!”

Yanked forward again, Nico doesn’t have the time to finish his threat. This time, at least, they sprint the final stretch to the shed without any more hiding and shoving.

Thank all the fucking gods. One more second of Will’s stupid torso — since fucking when does he wear polo shirts, huh, what the shit fuck is up with that — pressed against his and Nico’s bronchitis was going to come back. And this time he’s going to succumb to it.

“Okay,” Will says. He stands in front of a tarp-covered lump, gripping one side and jutting his chin out at the other. “On three, we tear this off and start pushing. We need past Thalia’s tree in under thirty seconds. Got it?”

“No,” Nico says stubbornly, “you still haven’t explained what the rush is —”

“One two three go!”

Will, unfortunately, has been tricking ADHD teenagers into doing things they don’t want to do for years, so Nico’s ripping off the tarp and shoving the chariot out of its stall faster than he can register what he’s doing. He practically sprints to keep up with Will, chariot wheels creaking happily as they rush over stones and sticks and forgotten weapons.

“We’re leaving now, Chiron! Bye!” Will hollers, moving too fast to give him a second to respond. Luckily, Chiron is similarly busy, galloping after a speeding Harley without more than a backwards wave and a sharp don’t die, please!

“That dynamite I gave Harley’ll only keep everyone distracted another thirty seconds,” Will mutters, ignoring Nico’s alarmed the fucking what you gave Harley, “so we need to move, let’s go.”

“Will — slow down a half fucking second, Christ, not everyone is seventy percent leg — we don’t even have pegasi!”

“Will you keep it down.” Will looks back and forth, eyes wide, like he’s worried someone is going to pop up with a pack of the winged animals. “Just — stop asking questions! We’re almost home free!”

“You’ve gone insane. It’s finally, actually happened, after all these years, who woulda thought, fully bonkers at age sixteen —”

“Oh, shut up.”

Muttering his complaints, Nico helps him push the infernal chariot down Half-Blood Hill. Among his grievances, he makes it abundantly clear that 1) this is stupid, 2) he did not agree to physical labour, 3) he would not have agreed to come if he had known about the physical labour, and 4) this is stupid.

“Just a few more yards, then we can —”

“Okay, no, that’s it.” Nico lets go of the chariot, letting the wheel dig into the soft ground and send the whole thing halting. He meets Will’s pout head-on; arms crossed, jaw set, foot tapping, refusing to give into those big blue eyes.

“C’mon, Neeks.” A faint explosion sounds off in the distance. Will’s eyes get more pleading, more hopeful. “We won’t have much time after the diversion wears off…”

“You have three seconds before I turn the hell around, Solace.”

“Please?”

“One.”

He pushes uselessly at the chariot. It spins a sad little circle without someone pushing the other side. “Neeks!”

“Two.”

“Alright, fine! Help me push again and I’ll explain on the way down.”

“Much easier when you just do as I say,” Nico grumbles, starting to push the stupid (horseless and therefore useless) chariot again. “Isn’t it?”

Will, predictably, rolls his eyes, although he can’t quite help the smile that pulls at his lips. Nico tells the butterflies that go buck fucking wild in his stomach to go to hell. This does nothing.

“How much do you know about the chariot?” Will asks eventually, after a couple minutes of shoving the stupid thing past a deep trench in the soil, leftover from the war. (Nico is going to set the fucking thing on fire. It’s a flying chariot — shouldn’t it be lightweight? Why is he suffering?) They’re nearly three quarters down the hill, and it takes everything Nico has not to risk it all and shadow travel the last couple dozen feet. Yeah, it might kill him, but then his problem would immediately go away. Tempting does not begin to cover it.

“Uh, big source of drama, right? Apollo and Ares worked together to seize it, argued over who got to keep it?”

He cuts a careful glance over to Will, well aware it’s a sensitive topic. He knows the question isn’t a trap — Will would never do that to him — but it’s probably best to tread lightly. As far as he’s concerned, this is a sore point that’ll take more than a couple years to heal.

Luckily, there’s no tension to Will’s face. “Mhm. I wasn’t there for much of the planning, ‘cause I was busy in the infirmary and also, like, twelve, but it took a lot of time on both sides. When Michael and everyone seized it, though, it glowed gold.”

“…Ah.”

Will snorts at his awkwardness, nudging his shoulder. “Yeah. Sure made it hard for the Ares cabin to claim, as dicey as it may be. Here, help me park it on the side of the road.”

There’s a thatch of weeds and undergrowth separating the road from the base of the hill, so dragging the chariot over is a struggle and a half. Nico can’t help but think that this task would be very easy if the chariot was harnessed to a couple pegasi and flying over the fucking thatch, as it is meant to do. When he voices this very valid thought, Will does not respond.

He does walk into a thistle, though, so Nico feels considerably better about the whole ordeal.

“The thing about the blessing —” Will grunts, yanking the chariot onto the gravel shoulder with one final tug — “is that it’s not that big of a deal. My dad blesses shit all the time. Our cabin is blessed. The infirmary is blessed. Hell, half my scalpels are blessed, and I throw those things out all the time ‘cause they’re dangerous when they get dull. Just because my dad blessed it doesn’t mean we actually have to keep it.”

“Okay…” Nico says slowly, “then why was it such a big deal?”

“The blessing on its own wasn’t.” Will’s voice gets fainter as he lowers himself onto the pavement, dragging himself under the belly of the chariot. Nico is confused for a full three seconds before a particularly rough patch of asphalt snags Will’s shirt and drags, and wow, are those jeans low rise. His throat is suddenly very dry. “Blessing a chariot on the other hand…”

Will makes a dorky little noise of success, crawling back from under the chariot. When he resurfaces, he’s grinning, carved piece of wood the same material as the chariot clenched in his hand. There’s soot smeared across his left cheek, his curls have tangled themselves into more of a mess than usual, and there are three separate scuff marks on his nice jeans.

Nico ducks his head, hiding a smile. What a dorky loser. Even dressed up as he is (boy, has Nico fallen low, if he’s calling jeans and cowboy boots dressed up), he still manages to look like…Will.

A really, really hot version of Will, but. Whatever. Details.

“The hell is that?”

“This,” Will says grandly, feeling around the wall of the chariot until he finds a specific spot, “is the reason my brother gave a fuck about a dumbass chariot.” He sticks the edge of the wooden tool in a tiny groove, wedging it open to reveal a hidden panel and a small, golden button. Nico meets Will’s grin with raised eyebrows, impressed.

“What do you know about Michael?”

“Uh, not too much.”

“You think he, in any reality, would have had that much interest in a hunk of wood?”

Nico had scarcely met him more than a couple times, but Michael Yew made an impression, that was for sure. For someone who was shorter than Nico when he was ten years old, he sure took up a lot of space. In the few times Nico remembers seeing him, he’d been concerned with his bow, his camera, or showing any given person who so much as blinked at him wrong just how quickly he could turn their ass concave. If Nico is correct, actually, the one time he and a pegasus had been in the same vicinity, they’d hissed at each other. Nico didn’t even know pegasi could hiss.

He tries to find a delicate way to say this.

“He seemed more interested in other endeavours,” he says politely.

Will laughs loudly. “He would rather shove an arrow in his eye than race a chariot!” His bright smile is impossible not to match, and Nico is relieved to find him totally comfortable, relaxed; hell, even excited. Usually, any talk of his siblings, even fond, makes him quiet. He’s glad for this change, however unusual. “Man, I loved my brother more than anything, but he was the most ornery motherfucker I’ve ever met in my life. He taught me every swear in every language by the time I was nine, just because he knew it would drive Lee batty. He didn’t care about some spoil of war.”

He smirks, wide and devilish, and Nico’s knees go weak. Dimples like that should be illegal.

“He was smart, though. And he figured, if dad’s blessing made this chariot anything like his own…”

He reaches out and presses the golden button with his thumb, letting go and standing back once he registers a faint click. After a couple seconds, the chariot begins to glow, soft at first, then brighter, then Nico has to squeeze his eyes shut to avoid the stinging burn, and then when he opens them, it —

He gapes. Will grins.

Where the chariot used to be, is now a shiny, brand-new, black and yellow motorbike, two helmets gleaming on the sparkling leather seat.

“…Then it might be a little more than some lousy chariot.”

Without waiting for Nico to pick his jaw off the floor, Will rushes forward. He tosses one of the helmets to Nico — which he barely manages to catch, still working on processing what the fuck just happened — and tucks the other under his arm. Nico happens to notice how his biceps flex with the action, and then vows to have his father bankrupt the entire polo shirt industry, because he can never be caught lacking like this by any mortal soul. It’s humiliating.

There’s a click as Will unlatches the seat, lifting it up to access the compartment under it. He pulls out a bundle mass of black fabric, and with a flick of his shoulders reveals it to be a fucking leather jacket and oh, gods, Nico takes back the polo shirt complaints, he can live with the polo shirt. This is too much. This is —

“Any time you’re done ogling at me, you can climb on,” Will calls out. He doesn’t even have the good grace to look in Nico’s direction, instead sliding on the seat facing resolutely forward, amused smirk on his face. And because he wants Nico to die, actually, he straightens his jacket, making sure it fits his shoulders right (by the gods does it ever) brushes his hair backwards (there is no genuine reason for someone’s hair to actually shine in the sunlight) and slides his helmet on. When he finally does look back in Nico’s direction, through his raised visor, the combined sight of his sparkling blue eyes and the cut of his face under the angular helmet actually gives him tachycardia.

“I hate you,” Nico croaks. “Not joking.”

Will throws his head back and laughs, baring his long, tanned throat. Nico follows the bob of his adam’s apple like Tantalus does the forbidden fruit. It’s horrible, and what’s worse is that Will is visibly preening like the fuckin’ peacock he is. Someone should remind him he’s basically a dressed up turkey. Or something. Nico’s brain is operating at twenty percent capacity, his ability to metaphor properly is a secondary concern.

“Just get over here, you goober. We’re on a time limit, remember?”

Shoving his helmet on to hide his flaming face, Nico does, sliding on with a healthy four inches of space between them.

“Mm, not gonna work, ParaNorman. This thing’s enchanted, we’ll be going well over a hundred. Hold on properly.”

Praying to seven different gods for strength, at once, Nico scooches the agonizing few inches closer.

“Hands around waist, Death Boy.”

“I’m fucking — I’m getting there, you asshole, gimme a goddamn second.”

“Do you need help?”

“I need you to shut the fuck up so I can focus.”

Maybe it’s the healer in him, or maybe there actually is a god looking out for Nico and they decide to have mercy. Maybe it’s a third option. Either way, Will reaches back and wraps his callused hands around Nico’s wrist, tugging them gently forward and resting them on the narrow curve of his hips. Nico holds them there, along with his breath, until some of the panicky tension starts to loosen in his chest, and he relaxes forward, resting his chest against Will’s back.

“There,” he says quietly, humming with approval when Nico’s arms link properly around his waist. He squeezes his clasped wrists once — a silent you good? — and waits for Nico’s minute nod, face buried in the back of Will’s neck, before starting up the engine, revving it twice before leaning forward, body flush to the bike. Nico can practically feel his grin, it’s so clear in his mind’s eye, in the delight thrumming through Will’s entire body, that he can’t help his own smile, too, can’t help but feel the thrum of the machine, the sharp smell in the air. He tightens his hold and Will lets out a loud, whooping laugh.

“Let’s ride, baby!”

With a push off the ground and a twist of a thrusters, they’re off, leaving behind only the echo of the roaring engine and the joyful, startled sound of Nico’s shriek.

———

next

[noneorother]

The grand unified theory of Good Omens S2, Hangs on a double meaning - Answering why .5 + .5 = 25 lazerii *The end?*

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l The end?

Welcome to the end of the Bonkers Meta Series featuring your favourite Art Director/Clue detective. This is it! I'm going to wrap up this series as well as I can with what I think really happened, the final 15 and why Crowley says the things he says. Meta, Spoilers, Beware! All that. “Armageddon only happens once, you know. They don't let you go around again until you get it right.” 

If you've read my Metatron post you'll know that I thought there were *at least* two time loops with tweaks to achieve different outcomes, seeing as we seemed to be presented with two versions of events a lot of the time, two similar lines of dialogue, double meanings for lines etc etc. If you want a really good recap of a lot of the Clues that have already been compiled already you can go through them here. Yesterday I added my own : The columns in front of the bookshop get stained by a demon, and the stain stays and goes. But why do we care?

Here's my final thesis using the context I'll put together below :

The Metatron is changing the past and the present on earth using the book of life. He's forced a time loop of the last few days at least 50 times over a period of (realtime) months to get the outcome he wants : the separation of Aziraphale and Crowley to allow him to complete the second coming. It only worked once. Let me explain.

1) Not time skips, but stitched loops

My theory about the columns goes like this : a demon touches the right column in the attack on the bookshop, and dirties it. The problem is, in every episode we get multiple versions of the column that are dirtier or cleaner. Why? Because a demon has been touching that column in *more or less* the same place and getting it dirty over time, but the effects on the bookshop only layer every loop and reset, instead of being erased. The layering aspect is super important and I'll get back to it. For now, if we take it that the column gets dirtier over many loops, we now know what we are seeing : a bunch of different time loops stitched together to create a sense of time moving forward in a way that we can understand the story, but that skip forward and backward through the loops. Cleaner column = earlier loop. Here's discussion about clock hands if you want evidence, some even saying the hour hand seems to be going backwards in the first episode or the last, or even that the minute and hour hands must be backwards to make sense. If we think of time skipping ever forward and actions getting deleted (as some have said), then clocks going backwards makes no sense. But if we think about it as a time loop where things and actions are ever being tweaked and changed, then OF COURSE the times won't make sense anymore. People don't show up at the same time if they don't do the same thing they did before. The biggest time discrepancies I've seen in a single scene are A) Crowley's phone and watch being an hour apart in S2E1 and B) Inside the bookshop between Gabriel's fly flashback in S2E6 and him and Beez holding hands, there's an hour difference on the clock. I think that by the time we get to very late loops, some things are happening up to an hour later in the day. A simple example we are shown up top is the Eccles cakes. They are there in the first part of S2E1, but then they are no longer there somewhere along the way. In the first loop we see an ordering action/receiving Eccles cakes action, which takes *longer* than just not doing that and going straight to the shop, so that loop will be slightly later. It gets infinitely more complicated the more loops you are looking at, and we have at least 50 of them. How do I know that?

2) A 25 lazerii miracle

If we know that effects on the bookshop are cumulative and don't reset (because columns), then let's try this idea on for size : Aziraphale and Crowley have been performing the same half miracles on the same spot for 50+* loops, and each times they are layering and getting stronger. .5 demon + .5 angel = .5 angelic miracle x 50*ish loops = 25 lazerii miracle goes off in heaven on the latest loop. Shax then confronts Crowley in his car about a mighty miracle, so we're in a loop here where we've layered quite a lot, but not the last loop because he still has the original glasses/ *but also* Crowley's sideburns are long. Compare it to the scene directly after, and how sunny and bright it is. We're in a later loop and and earlier loop simultaneously.

3) Crowley's been testing So I've been searching for a *reason* that Crowley wears a turtleneck in S2E2 and thren new glasses and changes sideburns, and he seems to be up to some pretty crafty spy stuff, seeing as 1) he seems thrilled by it, and 2) he won't shut up about it (How will our hero cope? Jane Austen, nasty piece of work, master spy) There's also this Clue :

Crowley has a secret, as we know everyone with their hands deliberately in their pocket does in the series. I think Crowley knows before Aziraphale that something is wrong, because he's getting little snippets of memory and feeling, and so he's going off to try and change things about himself, the Bentley and the shop to remind himself in the next loop and leave himself clues or change outcomes if he fails to escape. In the early loops it seems like a fun spy mission, but by the end he's pretty tired and jaded that he doesn't seem to be making any headway on his own.

It *also* explains him throwing books and canapés on the floor in the bookshop to see if it changes in other versions. The problem being that Gabriel keeps cleaning everything up and reorganizing the titles to Crowley can't tell if it's his system or not. (lolsob)

It makes this line seem like he can't fit the loop pieces together anymore, and is trying to make headway without any information, rather than a pre-fall reference.

And this line probably much later in the loops (New sunglasses, long sideburns) :

Okay so! To recap : Everyone gets reset every time, and they make different choices because of past and present edits. But, most heavenly and hellish things don't obey earth laws, and therefore things like miracles start layering, and memories start seeping through the loops. (Point 4 is optional but absolutely hilarious, so I'd like to think it's worth speculating about)

4. The flaw in The Metatron's plan

There's a huge flaw in The Metatron's plan however, and it's that Heaven and Hell don't work like earth does. He's spent so many loops trying to get the result he wants, that he doesn't know that something crazy is *also* happening in hell. Every loop, Shax is emptying out the legions of demons until they barely have enough low level lackeys to go up at all. Hell is understaffed because no new people come into hell in the loop from earth, and they're sending all the demons that aren't subject to the reset into battle. This isn't a negotiation, it's a montage.

So the attack on the bookshop isn't one attack, but waves, and the waves get less powerful each loop. Stitched loops would also explain why Shax now hands Crowley his mail again in the last attack after *just* handing it to him on the park bench, like, 4 days ago in an earlier loop.

I don't have evidence for this directly, but if The Metatron put Maggie together with Nina successfully only in the last few loops, then she's fighting in the bookshop only a few times, and doesn't invite the demons in any other times, which might be why the only evidence is the column, and not books being ruined. But, it might also explain why the demon Eric gets discorporated a bunch of times in a row, he's doing it later and later in each loop. (These are kind of contradictory thoughts, I know.)

5. Aziraphale realizes too late. When I wrote part 4 of this series I was pretty awed by the fact that Aziraphale managed to figure out the Metatron was rewriting things after only hearing him say ONE LINE of dialogue. However after more thought, I think that he's been getting close to the truth a bunch of times by communicating with Crowley in previous loops. In each successive loop he tells Crowley later and later, and it's been getting them reset as punishment each time they figure it out together. By the end they barely communicate at all, because they can feel the danger. Watch his reaction here, in what we can assume is a *very late or last loop (because of the time on the clock)*

He stops himself from interrupting and telling Crowley something important he's just realized : that he's seen Gabriel and Beez get together before. "I know what this means..." 6. Saraqael is helping both sides without them knowing We see Saraquael helping Crowley immediately with the trial when she finds him in heaven. Why would she help Crowley without having ever met him before as a demon? The exchange of "Crowley I remember you, we worked on the Hosehead nebula together" and "I meet a lot of people, (*he doesn't say* I don't remember you)" is a code. They are both trying to communicate what they remember like spies on a bench in St.James park. Who recognizes who, who's trying to stop this madness. Maybe once Crowley gets to heaven this time he's seen multiple trials with multiple endings, and Saraquael has seen them too, I don't really know. BUT she's also communicating with Aziraphale at one point. Look at Saraqael in this scene again about the 25 lazerii miracle. She *remembers the book slap* and then the *looks* at Aziraphale in regards to Gabriel.

Yeah Gabriel, IT NEVER F*&?%ING WORKS IN ANY LOOP SO STOP DOING IT. - Saraquel, probably. Are Saraqael and Aziraphale testing later/earlier in the loops as well? Is this when the miracle was weaker? Who knows! 7. The Metatron job offer was many, many offers

It's really hard to tell with all the pieces of the puzzle moving around, but I think I can count 7 job refusal loops by Aziraphale in the last fifteen minutes. Here's a summary 1) Chinwag with Crowley in the room 2) We should go for a walk instead, here's a coffee 3) You don't have to answer immediately 4) Go tell you friend the good news (This is the important one), it's the last one where he tries to convince Crowley to come with him 5) I need to take care of my bookshop 6) The Metatron puts Muriel in charge of the bookshop, but Aziraphale wants to take something with him 7) Aziraphale straight up runs out to Crowley with "I think I-" 4, again) The Metatron takes him out of the bookshop. "Ready to start"?

Trying to screenshot all that would be insane, so just go rewatch it with all this in mind, and look at how the lighting changes inside of the bookshop and the jump cuts to different angles, and how his face resets every time. It's HEARTBREAKING. 8. The argument

I'm so blown away by the acting and writing (as well as the art direction) in this show, and it all comes to a head in the final argument. Many important lines have double meanings in series 2, because everyone is trying to speak in secret code to not get caught. Especially in the final loops.

In the last loops, we have an Aziraphale who is moving ever closer towards accepting the Metatron's offer, with the straw that broke the camel's back being he could restore Crowley as an angel**/save him; and Crowley who is moving ever farther away, by having to hide all of his Clue gathering, and confiding less and less to Aziraphale in each loop.

Check out the double meanings going on in this whole exchange if you consider that they are trying to save each other using secret codes neither one of them can hear. It's so shattering. Especially when you consider they've probably made it to this argument at least twice, and Crowley convinced him the first time. Why do I say that, you ask? 9. No Nightingales

Because I think Crowley remembers a loop where A Nightingale Sang was playing when they kissed, and Aziraphael didn't leave, but he knows they aren't in that version anymore. 10) I'm a demon, I lied. I'll probably post more abut the secondary characters because Shax, Furfur, Michael, Uriel and Nina etc all have roles to play, but for now, this is it.

----------------------------------------- Thanks so much for reading the gigantic post. If you disagree with my thoughts, or think this is terribly wrong, that's totally fine! I won't be offended. Without a real season 3, everything is just ether. Fingers crossed. I'd also like to thank The Ineffable Detective Agency, @embracing-the-ineffable, @cobragardens, @indigovigilance, @yowlthinks and more for inspiring me and feeding my brain with posts. *Loop numbers could actually be 25+ if you think that .5 demon mircales + .5 angelic miracles pour register as 1 whole miracle in heaven, I just didn't want to go into that in the main review. **The Metatron's meddling in the past seems to me trying very much to highlight to Aziraphale how *good* and righteous Crowley is, despite being a demon, in order to convince Aziraphale that joining him in heaven is a real possibility, and he should push for it.

[partycatty]

DUDE THE DARK JOHNNY FICS ARE KILLING ME you ate them up please write more pookie!! It can be any concept but if you can’t think of one I was thinking, Johnny went to go shoot a film and just wanted you sitting at home being pretty, until you decided to pack everything that was yours and leave like entirely(let’s say to a different state or smth) clothes,shoes,bags, everything gone and he goes bonkers trying to find you or whatever LOVE YOU POOKS😘😘😘😘

OOOOHHHHHHH LOVE U MORE POOKIE BEAR

dark star!johnny cage > i'll find you

you hit your limit with johnny and abandoned the life he trapped you in. to say he isn't happy is a major understatement.

warnings: yandere johnny boy, abusive relationship

notes: i love how collectively mentally ill we are, love you babes

part 1* / part 2* / part 3* / part 5* / part 6*

*parts are one-shots, this is not a consistent series.

masterlist <3

• things were going okay, so johnny thought. gifts were pouring in, the media seemed happy, and you were quiet. quiet was good to johnny. it meant you ran out of energy to protest. what he didn't realize, though, was that you were quiet to avoid raising suspicion.

• "i'm locking the doors, baby, so no parties for you," johnny would tease often about you running away or hosting parties while he was gone, but regardless he always remote locked the doors when you were left on your own. to him, you were like a puppy that was raring to leave at the crack of an open door. "they've got me filming a night scene and i told them i'd rather kill myself than film in a fake night studio, so we're gonna be out late. remember the rules?"

• johnny had rules with you, to make sure you stayed in line. you nodded and recited them. no leaving without permission, call before bed, and to not cover the security cameras. johnny nodded with approval, kissed your cheek, and was gone with a quick "good girl. love you."

• your smile faded away when the door shut. you instantly sprinted into the master bedroom, locking yourself in the joint bathroom. it was the only place without cameras.

• he had a habit of searching through your personal spaces and devices. however, one of the places he didn't check was your sink cabinet. he found feminine products gross. remember when i said he was immature? yeah. this was the best time to take advantage of that.

• behind the wall of pads and tampons was a large duffel bag cramped between the sink pipes. in it was all of your necessities and then some you purchased with his credit card. you'd sneak them into the bag using one of the designer purses he once gave you after cheating on you.

• after removing it from the cabinet, you set it atop the toilet and squeezed in one last shower. lord knows when the next one you'll have will be, or if hotel bathrooms are as luxurious as the mansion. perhaps it'd be the one thing you'd miss truly.

• when you get changed, you put on three layers of clothes and stuff the rest in the empty gaps in the bag. the expensive clothes and absurdly elegant jewelry stays behind. nobody needs that to be happy. freedom would make you happy.

•you had been periodically depositing money from johnny's account into your own secret checking account, one you opened without his approval. he needed to monitor your purchases, so he instead just gave you a credit card in his name. over the last year you'd move small quantities over until you had enough to run away and sustain yourself. sure, it was stealing. but is a multi-millionaire going to miss a few thousand?

• when you were sure everything was packed and ready, you squeezed yourself through the small window in the bathroom and took off as quickly as you could, careful to stay in the blind spots of the cameras you'd studied prior. you then climbed onto a long distance bus, showing the ticket you purchased weeks in advance, and you were off.

• it didn't feel real at first. you watched malibu fade from the bus window, glancing around at the ordinary people sitting alongside you. you were so disheveled and definitely not dolled up, people probably wouldn't recognize you. you purchased the first ticket available, one that was taking you to arkansas. hundreds of miles away, and loads of people to blend in with. nobody would think to find you there, since it had nothing awaiting you. you managed to stabilize yourself and recollect your plan you meticulously planned in your head while the hills rolled with you.

• after a couple hours of shooting, johnny sat in his little diva throne and opened his phone to his surveillance app. tapping through his home, panic set in when you didn't appear on a single camera. maybe you were in the bathroom, he thought. after waiting, you never emerged. the house was empty.

• one new voicemail.

• "hey-y-y," johnny's nervous, gritted laughter played through your phone. "i'm not seeing you on the cameras. call me."

• one new voicemail.

• "seriously, woman. where are you? this isn't funny."

• one new voicemail.

• "i'm coming home. you're making me leave work early. i'm gonna call the fucking cops. you think you're so smart? you've got two hours to come home, and if not, i'll find you, whether you like it or not."

• you snapped your phone in half, discarding it at the bus's front trash can.

• johnny arrives home, slamming doors open and turning every piece of furniture around. chairs fly across the room, your once neatly organized closet is torn to shreds. he finds your belongings short of his usual counting and puts it together. you ran away, you—

• johnny sinks to the ground, gripping his hair so tight he's nearly pulling chunks out. he's laughing so hard from mania that drool is rocketing from his mouth with the Textbook Crazy Eyes.

• he texts and texts, probably well over a couple hundred times. the messages remained undelivered, yet he kept barraging the deactivated number in hopes that the next message would come through. surely he couldn't get the police involved. "hey guys, my girlfriend ran away from me because i controlled her entire life!" yeah. that'd end in handcuffs.

• so instead, he lies. it's his specialty. he dials 911, and channels the mania into a false desperation. he sobs into the phone, claiming that you're extremely mentally unwell and must be returned to him ASAP.

• johnny spends the next week posting your face everywhere on social media. you and him become, yet again, the talk of the country, but for once it seems like a genuine concern. with the way he painted things, you were insane and in danger if you were away from him, and you needed him to protect you. johnny painted himself as the savior, making charity campaigns to raise money for search parties. his home is full of gifts in your honor.

• he'd drink and smoke, something he didn't usually do, just to relieve this insane stress. he felt like his other half became untethered, like his entire world was falling apart. as much as he controlled you, he really did love you in his own fucked up way. he needed you, more than you needed him. you were the one person that would agree with him no matter the situation. he loved how you made him feel.

• meanwhile, you're basking in the sun by the hotel pool as you browse nearby apartments. it felt foreign to make your own decisions, and you had zero concern over whether or not the place would be up to his par. it was up to you now, and you loved it.

• you just had to hope that johnny wouldn't find you himself. lord knows what he'd do to you.

[sanguineterrain]

if you give a spider a pastry... | miguel o'hara

Summary: Mango turnovers and a bloody Spider-Man. Basically, a regular night in New York. 

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x baker!gn!reader 

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings/tags: injured Miguel (he's okay dw), brief arguing. mostly fluff and sass. first meeting.

A/N: hi y'all! I watched ATSV yesterday and the Miguel brainrot has advanced <3 this is my first time including Spanish in a fic. Since Miguel is Mexican, I did research and tried to incorporate Mexican slang. It's not the responsibility of any reader to correct me—however, I appreciate corrections of the Spanish, if offered. :) 

A/N 2: also, the timeline/universe details are vague in this one, but I pictured that the reader is not in Earth-2099. 

If you enjoy this fic, please let me know through comments and reblogs ♡

the divider

Something is trying to crawl into your dumpster. 

You've armed yourself accordingly (got a dust broom out of the closet) and after fifteen minutes of agonizing over whether you should go outside or go to bed, you have decided you are going to deal with the pesky raccoon once and for all. Or cat. Or opossum. Whatever. You just hope it doesn't have rabies. 

Slowly, you edge open the back door of the kitchen to the bakery. You tap the outside railing a couple of times with your broom. Clink clink. There's no sound in response, so you step out a little further, hitting the broom bristles against the stairs. 

"Ba-boom, ba-boom!" you shout into the alley. You'd read you're supposed to make noise to scare off raccoons. Or was it bears? 

No, that doesn't make sense. When's the last time you saw a damn bear in New York? 

You wait, heart rate climbing. There's no more noise, so you open the door all the way and quickly shut it behind you, gripping the broom with both hands. You jump out into the open. 

The dumpster is covered, which is wildly embarrassing for you. However, right next to the dumpster is a giant dude in what you assume is a Spider-Man costume, though it's not like the one you've seen. 

His stomach is covered in blood.

"Holy fuck," you say, dropping the broom. "Shit. Fuck! Oh my—uh, s-stay right there, don't move."

"Sound advice," he says dryly, startling you. "I was going to do a little dance for you."

Okay. Blood loss has different effects on people. You can't take it personally; this dude has half his guts in the alley. 

You grit your teeth and pull out your phone, shakily typing in your passcode. As soon as you do, a glowing orange rope—web?—shoots out and yanks your phone right out of your hand. 

"No," he grits out. "Todo bien."

"Everything is not fine. What is wrong with you, dude? You're bleeding out!"

"I'm not bleeding out, dude; most of the blood isn't mine."

"Yeah, that's definitely not true," you say. "Look, I don't know what would possess a person to come out here ten o'clock at night and do… whatever this is, but I'm not letting someone die next to my dumpster. Give me my phone!"

"No," he says, hissing in pain as he shifts his weight. "You're overreacting and hysterical."

"Hysterical?" 

You can't see his face but you know he's rolling his eyes. 

"Can you relax?" he asks. "Chale, I'm not itching to bleed out next to your dumpster. I'll be on my way as soon as my body repairs itself enough for me to move."

"You're literally insane, man. Absolutely bonkers. You've lost your Silly String."

"Silly String…" he echoes.

You strut up to him and try to snatch your phone. He dodges you a couple of times, then swats at you like a cat. 

"Enough," he snaps. "Don't make me web you."

"Web me? Okay, you know what? Screw you, man. I'm not gonna call anybody. Bleed out for all I care. Keep the goddamn phone, I'll get a new one. Christ."

You pick up your broom and stomp up the stairs, yanking open the back door and slamming it behind you. Fucking New Yorkers. First rule of living here: mind your business! You try to be a good Samaritan and get verbally accosted by Spider-Man on steroids. Typical. 

You fume for about two full minutes, glaring angrily at your shelf of baking trays. Then you hear the bane of your existence groan in pain outside. All the anger leaves you. 

You can't just ignore him. Accelerated healing or not, he's vulnerable. What if someone tries to attack him? 

This is probably the worst idea you've ever had. You walk to the fridge anyway and pull out two mango turnovers. You nuke them in the microwave, which physically pains you to do, but you're in a time crunch, so. 

You open the door gently this time and step outside. 

"Spider-Man?" you ask quietly. 

You hear him sigh. 

"¿Qué quieres?"

You go down the stairs and walk so you're in view again. He hasn't moved from his position. Your phone rests on his uninjured thigh. 

"Sorry for yelling at you," you say. 

He stiffens, then looks away. 

"You don't need to apologize. I… Soy un cabrón."

"Yeah," you say, walking over and sitting across from him. "Little bit." 

He sniffs the air, his suit's eyes narrowing at you. You set the paper plate with the pastry on his thigh and take your phone back. 

"What's this?" 

"It's a mango turnover," you say. "I've been experimenting this week."

"Why is it on my leg?"

"What, did you think I was gonna feed you?"

"Take it," he orders. "I don't want it."

"Are you allergic? I have other flavors."

"The flavor is not the problem."

You bite into your own pastry. You puff out air, trying to cool it down. 

"Ih hah," you tell him through a mouthful. 

"Oh, really?" he deadpans. 

You swallow. "I'm trying to extend an olive branch here, Spider-Man. I think we got off on the wrong foot."

"Why did you come back out?" he asks exasperatedly. 

"I didn't want you to be alone," you say. "What if someone tries to pull off your mask and ruin your secret identity? That's, like, totally devastating in the superhero world, right?"

"And what exactly would you do if they did? Throw a pastry at them? Whack them with your broom?"

"I'm wily," you say, biting into your pastry. "You should eat it before it gets cold."

"No."

"They came out pretty good, if I do say so. Priya—she's my other baker—had her doubts, and I did too, honestly. But this seems like a success."

He remains stoic, likely glaring at you. You finish your pastry and flick the crumbs off your mouth. 

"You'd be doing me a favor, taste testing," you add. "Gotta make sure it suits other people's palettes." 

"I already did you a favor by getting rid of the people who did this," he says, gesturing to the blood. 

Your mouth pinches unhappily. 

"I wish you'd let me take you to the hospital."

"It's unnecessary. I'll be fine soon."

"You're nuts, Opossum-Man."

"Opossum-Man?" he asks, sounding comically offended. "I'm clearly a spider."

"I think that's subjective," you say. "But I'm only calling you that because I thought there was an opossum in my dumpster. Turns out it was you." 

"That's ridiculous," he says. "Wait, what do you mean it's subjective? I'm obviously Spider-Man." 

"Well, what are the pointy things under your eyes?" you ask. "Those throw me off. They look like fangs. I thought you were supposed to be a spider. Those are, like, bat features." 

"Spiders do have fangs," he says with a huff. "How do you think they incapacitate their prey?"

"I think you're giving the New York public school system way too much credit here, dude. I didn't learn all that. We had a unit about bees. How come there's no Bee-Man?" 

He scoffs. "What would that even entail? A guy who flies around pollinating the city?" 

You giggle. 

"You're kinda funny, Spider-Fangs."

"I do stand-up in my spare time. Speaking of…"

He pushes himself to stand with a quiet grunt. You stand with him, arm outstretched in case he needs help. Not that he'd take your help. But still. 

He's a big guy. You'd figured as much by his giant shoulders, but standing in front of him really puts it into perspective. You have to crane your head to see his face. 

He hands you the plate. You pull the saddest pout you can muster.

"You're not even gonna taste it?" you ask. 

"No."

"Okay," you mumble, defeatedly taking the plate.

He looks at you for a long moment, then tilts his head forward, pinching the bridge of his nose.  

"Mierda—okay, fine. One bite."

You bounce on your toes as he takes the turnover and lifts his mask up to his nose. You're transfixed by his exposed skin, the dark freckle on his jaw, his full bottom lip. Wow. 

He barely opens his mouth, biting the corner. He chews, swallows, and pulls down his mask. You miss the view immediately. 

"It's good," he says. 

"Holy crap, was that a compliment? Did Spider-Man call my pastry good?"

"I take it back." 

"You can't," you inform him cheerily. "I'm going to put it on my advertisements. Opossum-Man approved! Sales will skyrocket."

He walks away, limping only slightly. Well, you suppose that's better than how he was half an hour ago. 

"Good night!" you call after him. 

He pauses, then turns. 

"How are you getting home?" he asks. 

"Oh, I live right above," you say, pointing behind you. "No worries."

He nods. 

"Órale. Don't visit uptown for a while."

You salute. "You got it, Opossum." 

He flings a web string and then he's gone. It's only then that you look at the plate and realize he took the pastry with him. You can't help your little grin.

[violent-darkness]

Little Pet

NSFW thoughts about being Butcher’s slave, part 2. I hope that you can forgive me for being this filthy. 18+ mdni, trigger alert.

Words:729

It was a casual Saturday night. Butcher was sitting on the couch, watching a rather boring action movie on TV. He was sipping beer from the bottle in his right hand. In his left hand he was holding a leash connected to a leather collar tightly strapped around your neck. You were naked and on your knees between his legs. He was casually guiding your head along the length of his cock for a little over an hour now. He was not really invested in the movements. They were slow and lazy, irregular. Your lips were swollen, jaw completely numb and your throat very irritated. But Butcher didn’t particularly give a fuck about these things. If anything, he looked more interested in the stupid movie than in you sucking his cock. 

“Be a good pet and fetch me another beer, darlin,” he requested at some point. You tried to stand up, but he immediately pressed your shoulder down forcefully. “Nuh-uh,” he waved his finger at you, “Pets walk on all fours, don’t they?”

You had no choice but to stay on your knees and start crawling towards the kitchen. Your knees were already bruised from the carpet and every movement caused you pain. You reached the counter top and grabbed a beer. Butcher was observing you with an amused smirk. It took you some time, but you finally crawled back to him, handed him the bottle and once again took your spot between his legs, placing your cheek on his thigh.

“Such a good pet,” Butcher praised you. He lifted your chin with the crook of his finger to look you in the eyes. “Your knees hurt, do they, pet?”

You nodded. Tears started forming at the corners of your eyes.

“And those cute swollen lips…” he brushed his thumb along your lips which caused a pleasant sensation between your legs.

“Don’t be sad, little pet, daddy will take care of ya,” Butcher pulled your leash to lift you up from the floor and position you into his lap. He curled his left arm around your shoulders and started placing gentle kisses along your jawline. He set the beer down on the table and began caressing your inner thigh with his other hand. You let out a soft moan when he just barely touched your clit with the tips of his fingers.

“Is that better, pet?” Butcher rumbled. 

“Yes, daddy,” you gave a nod with your eyes half-closed. 

“You did good today, little one, so I am going to reward ya,” Butcher guided you to lay on your back on the couch and moved between your legs. The tender scratching of his beard across your inner thighs alone was driving you bonkers. His warm lips touched your clit which made you whimper. His tongue started tracing circles around it at a deliberate pace. When two of his fingers thrust into you with an abrupt motion you were already close to orgasm. It was shameful really how quickly Butcher was able to make you come. The sex with him was like nothing you had experienced before. 

“How long has it been since I last let you come?” Butcher lifted his head to look at you and the loss of contact with your clit almost made you cry. 

“Seven days,” you stuttered, his fingers still moving inside you.

Butcher grinned, “You did well today. You were so obedient. I am gonna let ya come. You are so close already, it’s pathetic, really.”

“Thank you, daddy,” his permission caused your heart to start pounding heavily in your chest. 

Butcher hovered over you. He placed his hand on your throat and applied small pressure. It was enough to make your cunt dripping wet. His two fingers were still deep inside you, picking up the pace. You felt the heat building up and it was getting increasingly harder to control yourself. Your moans were getting louder, breaths getting hitched. He leaned in to give you a small bite on your still swollen lower lip and this sent you over the edge. The waves of unreleased pleasure you had accumulated for the past week washed over you as your legs started shaking uncontrollably accompanied by loud moans. Butcher was standing above you, still pumping his fingers inside you, enjoying the view and your squirming movements.

“Good pet,” he patted your cheek with a wide grin.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much. 

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great. 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared.  And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment: 

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason. 

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.  

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho. 

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) finished. Adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who (nearly) dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. I was warned that the ending would not work for me so I decided not to bother.

My Biker BL short movie from Wayu supposedly premiered Nov 27 on their YouTube Channel for Members to watch. I couldn't find anything further. The MDL description makes me think it's not for me so I bother.

Next Week Looks Like This

Short list of the December offerings.

12/9 Cherry Magic (Thai remake) YouTube 10 eps

12/9 Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) ??

12/14 Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) ??

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love these dudes so much, and make no mistake they def dudes. On point banter, my dudes. (Sign)

Yes they are cute but so far that's all this show has going for it. (Middleman's Love)

I'm a simple human, I just like seeing Off kneeing. (Cooking Crush)

(Last week)

[isackwhy]

ok ok, let me cook, let me on the fryer. so drunk driving stream (your girl got carried away, lacked details my bad bestie boo). isaacwhy, big t goat, and yumi. i’m talking giggles GALORE. i’m talking isaac appearance on readers stream? i’m talking, accidental hard launch? on stream? drunk? again, my apologies for lack of detail in the last four or so worded suggestion, lots of love 😘

anon. ily.

isaacwhy x drunk driving stream! reader hc’s

u last minute agreed to a drunk driving stream w 2 of ur best friends yumi and big t while ur bf isaac was at ur place

usually he’d be the third in this trio but u kidnapped him

you’re more than half a four loko down. isaac is a full four loko down. sitting on discord on his phone in ur living room so that chat doesn’t know he’s at ur place

(even tho they all have a suspicion about yall)

“no, no!” you drunkenly yell as your truck spins around on the highway

tanner and yumi are giggling their asses off, watching your truck flip to the side

you take another gulp of ur drink, gagging at the taste

“y/n, you’re a fucking moron!” yumi laughs

you gasp, and look into your webcam

it’s only then when u realize how drunk u look

“holy shit. oh. i’m so drunk,” you mumble as u repair ur truck

“really? couldn’t tell—“

“tanner i’ll—i’ll—kill u,” u stutter

“y/n, stop drinking,” isaac says

“ummm fuck u,” u giggle, downing another gulp

“y/nnnnn!” isaac yells. also drunk.

“come ‘ere. come into—the room,” you slur, not even realizing you’ve uncovered that isaac is in your house

“huh? are you sure?” isaac asks but you can hear him getting up

“oh god she’s getting isaac. oh god,” yumi groans

“k—y—s,” you spell out slowly, making tanner burst out laughing

isaac walks in and his tall ass is covered so u don’t worry about ur webcam

“hiii isaac,” you smile up at him. a part of u is conscious about ur secret relationship to teh viewers while another part is very drunk and wanting your boyfriend like rn

“hii y/n,” isaac smirks down at u, “i think you’re good on the drinks.”

you groan, gulping down more four loko, “you CANNOTTT tell me what to do.”

“oh no. they’re in trouble—OH SHIT I CRASHED,” tanner yells into the mic.

you glance over at chat, seeing your ship name w isaac being spammed and u hide ur eye roll

“you’re drunk too,” u point at ur boyfriend but realize ur vision has gone blurry

“not like you,” isaac laughs. the webcam can see from his chest down as he crosses his arms in his tank top

ur going bonkers

“i—need to pee. i think,” u get up but u stumble. isaac holds out his hands for you and you try and stabilize urself

“you okay?” isaac laughs, holding you

“i’m great!” you quickly saying, stepping away from him

you take three steps away from him, nearly fall until he catches you and all you can do is giggle

isaac is just looking down at you with a small smile, “okay, stream. over. come on—“

“no!!! wait till i get back baby.”

yeah u don’t even realize what u said bc ur just staring up at isaac with a fond smile while isaac has the widest eyes and ur chat has increased in speed

u can faintly hear yumi and tanner yelling

“what?” you ask with a head tilt, “i gotta—pee,@ u say still clueless, “entertain chat!” u say as u walk away, still oblivious

isaac stands there, stunned that you called him baby on stream. subsequently exposing your relationship

it was gonna happen at some point but he wasn’t expecting it while ur both drunk

“chat—chat. um,” he stands awkwardly until u come back

u stumble back in, still clueless while ur bf looks borderline horrified

“y/n, end stream please,” isaac grabs your shoulders

“hm? wha—okay,” you walk over, “guys i’m too drunk according to isaac so i’m gonna end….”

ur eyes fall on ur chat and the word baby and isaac and y/n are dating being spammed

oh fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

u whip ur head towards isaac when you realize what you did

“okay—yup! bye chat!” and you quickly end stream.

once u know ur in the clear, ur head falls your hands, “fuck. i’m sorry babe.”

“it’s okay. you’re drunk. it was gonna happen because we’re both dumbasses at some point,” isaac assures u.

you put ur headset back on and yumi and tanner are too drunk to help you so you turn the whole pc off and slam into your bed, face first into the pillows

“i’m staying off twitter for like—ever,” you mumble into the pillow

“eh. we have a lot less weirdos. you’ll be alright,” isaac rubs your back

[blue-grama]

The Sign finale probably should have disappointed me, but... didn't?

It's been a heck of a run lately with Thai BLs that haven't quite stuck the landing, and it's got me pondering why The Sign worked for me despite sometimes feeling like a storyboard for a longer, better show.

I don't think they pulled off the emotional payoff they needed, despite that last reunion scene being so pretty and well-acted, simply because too much happened offscreen, from Khem's recovery from a gunshot wound to the entire multlifetime Tharn/Chalothon dynamic getting resolved without us seeing any of it. But somehow I wasn't that mad about it? And ultimately I think it's because this show did so many things well and so many things I'd love to see more of that I'm just like, yep, I enjoyed that ride sirs, please show me something this gorgeous again. In that sense it's joining something like Manner of Death or Kinnporsche where it's like, plot holes? Yes. Bizarre tonal shifts? Absolutely. Occasionally insane writing choices? Uh-huh. Love it anyway? You betcha. So here's what really, really worked for me:

Premise

I am always going to be onboard with QL that isn't solely coming-of-age or coming out. I'm not against those stories, of course, but give me gay romance with adult characters who know themselves and are doing adult things. I'm also a partisan for romances with high external stakes, so the mixture of crime and reincarnation was catnip to me.

Do I care that none of this training makes any sense? No.

2. Setting

Listen. Is The Sign the reason I have a document on my laptop titled "Imaginary trip to Thailand without ever seeing a beach?" Not exactly. But it's also not not the reason.

I am being willingly manipulated by the Thai Tourism Authority.

Kidding, kidding, but I do love when my Thai shows feel Thai or my Korean shows feel Korean, etc etc. I want to be driven to Wikipedia to learn more! Half the fun of watching stuff from not your own country.

3. Chemistry

I think @biochemjess covered what was underwritten about the romance in The Sign. Billy and Babe carried it on their backs and it was hard to dislike their romance, even when the series skipped over key beats.

Any time the pink lighting came out, you were gonna be in for a good time.

4. The camerawork

I don't know enough about film to speak intelligently about this, but the camerawork and aesthetics of this show were just so lovely to watch. It was really doing a lot. @chaos0pikachu wrote about it better than I ever could.

LOVED THIS. LOVED IT. So good.

We had some really lovely storytelling and visual parallels, too, like the first episode and finale both having a big action warehouse scene, or the multiple times that Phaya and Tharn ended up overlooking the Mekong river.

5. It was always kinda off the rails

I know some people felt this show started out with a strong premise and didn't live up to it, but I gotta say, I didn't have that experience. It was always kinda a bonkers watch for me. There were long training montages, random bodies in the shallows, missing genitals, extended performance art, that comedy flashback to Khem and Thongthai's college years... I never knew what I was going to get each Saturday. And I kind of loved that? I'm into unhinged. I was comparing this in my head to Last Twilight, which did disappoint me in the end, and I think it's because Last Twilight was NOT always bonkers and DID set itself up to tell a straighforward story, then dropped the ideas it had been juggling in the last episode. The Sign always felt chaotic to me, so a chaotic ending was par for the course. This is where I'd compare it to KinnPorsche, which had the weirdest fucking ending, but like, okay??? Why not!

End result? I see the flaws, but I'm giving this show tender forehead kisses anyway. Here's hoping for more like it.

[quinsixtridrupled-k]

Disney TVA Platform Fighter

Last December, I thought it'd be neat to have a Disney-focused platform fighter especially since Nick had some success with Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl 2. So I figured... why not a Disney one? For those who don't know, platform fighters are a sub-genre of fighting/party games - the most famous and primarily example being Super Smash Bros.

And so, with that idea, I asked a friend to assist me in aiding with creating a graphic for this hypothetical game's roster, lo and behold:

Pretty neat, eh? Now you might be asking... why Disney TVA specifically? For one, focusing on the animated tv production side might be more feasible compared to the whole Disney library, that, and it allows some spotlight on very interesting and varied roster choices.

And for another... I just like the animated series side of Disney better. Now, the most important thing to remember is that this encompasses strictly the Disney TV Animation production label only, so any animated series not created under that studio will not be included (more so to keep consistency). I've also elected to choose some more unconventional picks (Yzma, Genie, Bonkers, for example) just to give some variety.

And what's a fighting game without DLC characters, eh? So here are the three waves of it:

(Wave 1, featuring Stitch, Wasabi, Kick Buttowski and Shego)

I'll admit that Shego's placement as DLC over base roster in favor of Drakken is purely thinking from a marketing standpoint, but it does make sense on the long run. In Stitch's case... I mostly forgot Lilo & Stitch had an animated series while making the base roster lmao.

Wasabi was left out of base roster because of limitations, and I felt Hiro, Go Go, and Fred offer a more balanced variety of size and playstyles but I still didn't want to leave him out, so I figured DLC is his best bet.

(Wave 2, featuring Mike Wazowski, Marcy Wu, Spinelli and Zurg)

Color me surprised that Monsters At Work is a Disney TVA production - Mike was chosen over Sulley or Tyler as the main rep for that series because he feels like he'd have a lot more interesting potential and material to work off of with his general slapstick and comedy routines.

Figured I'd complete the Calamity Trio with Marcy as DLC - just like Wasabi, she was left out of base roster because of limitations.

I figured people would want a Recess fighter, so I chose Spinelli since she's one of the more popular character and she'd serve as an analog to Helga in the first Nick All-Star Brawl.

Zurg was originally meant to be a boss character only, but I opted to put him as DLC because well... it is Zurg. I feel like you could incorporate a lot of Dr. Doom's MvC moveset on to him and they wouldn't feel out of place lmao.

And finally, they're here for you - they're the third wave of the DLC crew!

(Wave 3, featuring Oscar Proud, Simba, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur and Oswald)

This is... definitely the most experimental of the DLC waves. I think I've exhausted a lot of the picks I wanted at the time so I figured we could do with a more different direction.

Oscar is definitely there to ride on the coattails of Hugh Neutron in Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl 1 as a funny joke pick. I haven't actually watched The Proud Family so I don't think I would know if there are better picks, but still... I enjoy the wacky picks, they make a fighting game a fighting game.

Simba was gonna be in as far back as Wave 1, but I held off because... I'm not really sure why, but I forgot about him until I was making the third wave, so there he is now!

Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur are definitely there for being the main Marvel series under the Disney TVA label (alongside Big Hero 6, by technicality), and would definitely make an interesting choice considering Devil's size - you'd probably have to shrink him down to a point where he still manages to be big, but not... gargantuan big, which may seem like a disservice to a character who is a large T-Rex but I think you can still make it work (it worked for Ridley in Smash, and Iron Giant in MultiVersus).

Oswald is included by a mere technicality, due to having a small cameo or two in the Paul Rudish Mickey Mouse shorts, and I figured he has a big enough fanbase to warrant an inclusion, so yeah there he is.

And just for fun, we also have a bonus character:

Powerline! From A Goofy Movie!

Powerline seems like a very out there choice, but I figured you could make a moveset for him entirely out of his theming of electricity! And if you think he'd overlap with Megavolt... then, yeah I guess you are right on that part. But I figure you can differentiate them with how they play (Megavolt being a zoner, Powerline being a rushdown). Note, this doesn't mean he's only available through pre-order, but you'd get him free with it - otherwise you'd have to pay, but he's separate from the DLC characters.

So yeah that covers the playable roster. I understand that there are still a lot of series I didn't rep mostly because of limitations, or I forgot to put them in (Fish Hooks, for one) but I'm only human in how I make these, mistakes do happen so please understand...

I do hope that Disney takes a dabble on this someday, although I'm not sure how keen they are on their characters fighting each other in a silly fighting game. Still, it'd be an interesting thoight, what do you think?

[nebmia]

Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf: 1, Dungeon Crawl Classics

Everything about this game is absolutely dripping with bonkers maximalist bombast that makes me excited to play. To start with book itself is nearly 2 inches thick. Is that practical? No! does it feel like you've got an ancient tome full of roleplaying possibilities? Absolutely.

In a world tending towards minimalism and 'polished' production its so good to have somthing thats just big and fun and unapologetic about not being what it is.

DCC's dice are a microcosm of everything great about it. Not only do they come in shapes they never taught you about in maths class but they also all come with a fun little bonus. One of my sets comes with a stat block for a monster, while the other has a ridiculous table of reality warping effects on which you roll ALL the dice in the set, and inevitably send your campaign careening off into madness. (and it has a frame story about a stoner wizard in a magic van).

And then there's the actual contents of the book, which is probably about 80% spells and ridiculous tables. And the spells are just so good. Each one takes up a a least a full page on average and gives a range of results according to how well you roll, from 'it missfires and things go horribly wrong' at the bottom, through 'it does about what you would expect' in the middle result ranges, to 'actually, this is almost too much' if you manage to get a roll in the 30s.

Alongside being sick as hell, this also has a satisfying effect of keeping low level spells relevent and interesting as their effects scale with the strength of the caster on a variety of axis.

related to spells is the 'spell duel' procedure. I have no idea how well it runs at the table, but the idea that when two (or more) wizards fight their spells can interact and you can use any appropriate spell to try and counter another spell is so increadibly compelling.

Ok, enough gushing about vibes. what about actually playing? So far what I have run is the 'level-0 funnel', which is probably what you have heard about if you have heard anything about DCC. The premise is simple: randomly generate 2-4 level-0 peasants for each player, send them into a dungeon, and then take whoever survives and level them up to become your characters for a campaign.

Not only does these lead to much hilarity as a mob of townsfolk bungle their way through danger but also really fun problem solving as the players work out how best to navigate problems with a shoehorn, a bundle of wood and a live chicken.

Specifically, what I have run is Sailors on the Starless Sea, which is correctly recognised as THE introductory module to use. Its a nice sequence of somewhat open investigation followed by a excellend sequence of bombastic set pieces, all the while giving the players lots of scope to come at things ininteresting ways. It can get a bit unwiedly trying to manage such large number of characters when they do run into combat but if you plan ahead a bit and use various tricks (it would be useful is more of that advice was in the book rather than coming from forums) it is manageable.

And to return to vibes one last time: the art in these books is just so good. We could not be further from the slightly stiff generic highly rendered fantasy art of wotc era d&d. Its all fantastically old school fantasy, so full of character, and just the right amount of rough around the edges. My only slight complaint is that this does include a little too much of old school fantasy art's treatment of women than I would like...There are still prenty of sensibly dressed women and i'm not about to decree that no sexy fantasy women are allowed but the dial is a little further in a direction of objectification that I would like.

[gece-misin-nesin]

Can I get something off my chest about Bakugo? Have we seen/discuss any weaknesses of his quirk discussed in the series? Like, it has to rely on him sweating a bunch so he has to be able to sweat even in cold conditions and worry about dehydration right? Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen instances of him using it in ways where it wouldn’t work (the scene where he fights that helicopter I. The 3rd movie I believe?)?

Also also (this is a continuation of the last ask I sent but this has a spoiler for the ending in it so if this blog is spoiler free you can just delete it) how did Bakugo fly allllll the way over to Midoriya and explode Kurogiri’s head with his mouth (ya know, killing him when I’m not even sure Bakugo knew about his circumstances) while still just receiving open chest surgery???? (2/2)

Tbh I dropped the manga during the Nagant fight (it was so ass) and most of what i know about the final war arc is mostly word of mouth but him killing kurogiri (which. sucks so bad as a writing decision but whatever) AFTER just receiving heart surgery?? huh??? wild.

Agree SO SO MUCH about Bakugo's weaknesses never being shown in the story, I actually had a post about it! He basically mentions once the cold makes it harder for him to produce explosions but this never actually happens (like, idk, HIS FIGHT AGAINST SHOTO IN THE SPORTS FESTIVAL) so it's meaningless and there are some scenes where he rubs his wrists so I guess they hurt if he overdoes it. This is also never addressed. He basically never loses fights and I haate it. Shoto should be a hard counter to him using EITHER side, even worse with both. (The ice would make him cold, ie less explosions; and fire would detonate his sweat on its own which would be out of bkg's control and basically light him up) Bkg actually beating him is just bonkers to me. He always gets lucky with matchups too, like Tokoyami happening to be weak to light. Or he's conveniently in house arrest when the class fights Mirio so he can't even lose to him.

[onehopefuldreamer]

Challenging a Queen - a love letter

Look, at first this post was going to be about Look into me (my first love when it comes to this game's soundtrack and still one of the songs I adore the most).

Then I wanted to wax poetic about You and I and You and I reprise (three different versions of the reprise depending on what you do with the throne and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn's glorious voice, yes, please! Plus Persephone and Grace is my personal OTP).

After that I moved on to The Throne because I think it's both absolutely awesome and absolutely bonkers you get two themes to mix and match there instead of only one (1st theme based on your first choice and the 2nd on your answer to Orpheus' question). It's still a huge, HUGE personal favourite.

(I will still write love letters to these three songs eventually.)

But then I read Austin Wintory's commentary on the Pantheon version of the soundtrack he posted on YouTube and it caught my attention that he called Challenging a Queen the most complex song in the game. Previous to reading that I had thought it was the same as a lot of the other songs - three main themes that you just get to mix and match but aside from that nothing much changes. Oh, how wrong I was!

Reading that comment made me curious about trying different combinations to see what would happen and once I started doing that I was completely blown away. Because it turns out that this song is anything BUT simple! The choices are even more interlinked here than in most other songs and the possible combinations that lead to different outcomes are so, SO many!

Based on my experimentation (8+ hours of gameplay that's only replaying this one song)  I have discovered the following:

1. The first choice you make directly influences the second. So if you go from Green to Red for example you get a completely different outcome than if you had gone from Red to Green.

2. The first choice also influences the third/middle one. BXGXX is not the same as RXGXX or GXGXX (X stands for any colour). In the case of middle Red, I think, there's the most possibilities because there the second choice also comes into play. For example the banter between Grace and Persephone is different if you go with RBRXX (which is the same as RRRRR) or RGRXX.

3. Then the third and fourth choices also influence each other and lead to different combinations. Say, XXBRX is decidedly not the same as XXRBX.

4. Last but most certainly not least that pesky first choice continues to have an effect until the very end. The combination between it and your fifth or, sometimes, fourth and fifth choice/s is what leads to all sorts of different and unique endings you can get.

That's already a super complex song structure that I'm still not sure I have figured out completely, to be honest. I continue to experiment with different combinations and plan to try to see if I can compile a guide to all the possibilities here. I'm very much not statistically or mathematically inclined so this has been a bit of a struggle but I'm also having so much fun trying to pick apart this song that I don't really mind.

I've never experienced anything like this in any game before and honestly playing around with this song has been a revelation. The amount of screaming I have done in front of my laptop every time I come upon something new is insane. I've come to a point where I have bits and pieces of Challenging a Queen rattling around my head at all times and I LOVE it! Because, as weird as it sounds, I have not become bored with this song even after so many hours of listening to it. I happen to love all the different permutations and listening to Laura Bailey and Mary Elizabeth McGlynn try to outperform each other is far, FAR from a hardship. In fact it's an absolute joy.

I'll leave you with what's probably my most favourite discovery about this song: there are 17 different endings you can discover. 17!!! That's insane! Or at least that's as many as I have personally discovered and I am still very much in awe. If you're curious about checking them out on your own, here goes:

1-4 - RRRRR, BBBBB, GGGGG with a Charming Grace and GGBGG or GGRGG with a Clever or Kickass Grace. These are what I call the regular or classic endings. You're pretty much guaranteed to discover these.

5-8 - BXXBG, RXXBG, GXXBG with Clever or Kickass Grace and one extra XXXBG ending for Charming Grace. The first choice does not matter for Charming Grace, the ending is always the same no matter what.

9-11 - BXXGR, RXXGR and GXXGR

12-14 - BXXBR, RXXBR and GXXBR

15-17 - BXXRB, RXXRB and GXXRB

What I find impressive (aside from the huge number of endings) is that the endings from 5 and onward are all genuinely combined endings. They're not just alternative versions of the RR, GG or BB endings, they're a combination of approaches and/or musical styles and I cannot even begin to express how much I adore that.

I'm not going to lie, doing the experimentation for the GR, BR and RB endings in particular hurt my feelings a whole lot because I'm a Persephone stan and hate to see her trounced by Grace so thoroughly when I know she's actively grieving Calliope. But what really broke my heart (again as a Persephone stan) is those BG endings. Those have made me cry actual tears (the only other ending that's had this effect was GG with Clever or Kickass Grace). They're also the only endings I've been able to discover that have the camera panning down instead of sideways and come with their own backdrop. Discovering my first version of them had me squealing like mad and feeling like an archaeologist who'd discovered priceless ancient treasures. They're probably my personal favourites, all of them. Both because they're so unique and because I love how compassionate Grace is in them. As much as I do think Grace is badass when she wins, I love her being soft and understanding towards Persephone a whole lot more.

I'll stop here because this is already a wall of text for which I'd apologise but this is not even all my thoughts and feelings on this song. I just have so many! Now off to listen to it again and work on my guide.