#the language is very visual in a way I don’t see often

[panthermouthh]

Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.

Based on "A cornstalk fiddle" by the incredible @notbecauseofvictories

Finally finished this comic after months of zero progress. I adore this story and think about it often, and am so happy to finally be able to share this fan work with you. I hope you all enjoy!

[blindbeta]

Why Writers Should Consider Giving Blind Characters Canes, Guide Animals, or Other Mobility Aids + How To Choose One

(Note: This post is admittedly long and full of information. Make use of the headings to read the parts you are interested in. I have provided many links, which you can read as you go or save for later. I suggest saving this post and taking your time with it. I am also willing to answer any questions for people who have difficulty reading long posts. While I considered breaking this post into parts, I decided to keep all the information in one place for ease of sharing and reference, especially because multiple sections of the post refer to other sections contained within it.)

When I read for blind characters, my most common suggestion for writers is to give their character a cane, guide animal, or utilize another mobility aid. Most stories I beta read feature totally blind characters or people with very little vision, such as only seeing colors. Despite this, it is extremely common for me to suggest giving them a cane or guide animal because they are rarely portrayed using mobility devices. Because this is such a common suggestion, I wanted to create a post about it.

Most of this will be about mobility aids for people who aren’t familiar with them or are still deciding what tools are best for their character. It will also be mostly for modern, realistic, or semi-realistic stories. I will create a separate post for fantasy and science fiction mobility aids, use of magic or magical items, and writing stories set in or inspired by times before formal mobility tools existed. However, I believe this post can benefit anyone who is writing a blind character or anyone who wants to learn more about blindness. Mobility tools are a big part of blind culture, blind communities, diversity of blind experiences, and accessibility.

Learn About Mobility Aids

Here is a comprehensive post by visually impaired fiction writer and blogger @mimzy-writing-online which contains information about canes, O&M, guide animals, etc. If you are not familiar with canes, start there. It contains helpful information for body language, use of canes, and resources for descriptions that any writer will find valuable. The post also has a section on guide animals and sighted guide.

Here is a post I made about crafting fictional guide animals, although I have no experience as a guide animal handler myself. I made sure to research and include links, so it should still be a good starting point. It also has information about differences between service animals and emotional support animals.

Sighted Guide / Human Guide

First, terminology discussion. Sighted guide is a more common term and more examples come up when I search this term. Sighted guide refers to when a person with vision helps guide a blind person. The guide can be abled or also blind themselves. I have guided my friends before and they have guided me. I have often said that, in a way, sighted guide is a misnomer because someone who has less vision or no vision can also guide someone with more vision just as well.

The term human guide makes up for this misnomer by being more accurate. A TikTok by AskABlindPerson or @askablindperson on tumblr, explains this well. Here is a link to the video. The video states the following:

“I’m blind and I definitely prefer to say human guide rather than sighted guide because you don’t inherently need vision to guide and a blind person can do it too. And it doesn’t have to be that the blind person who’s guiding has more vision than the other person either. It can just be that they know the area better than the person they’re guiding, or it could be that they just have better cane skills or independent travel skills than the other person. Because not everybody has equal access to the same exact opportunities for training. So a blind person can also guide, which is why I like to say human guide because it’s more inclusive.”

Not everyone minds which term is used, however. Some people also only use one term because it was taught to them first, rather than because of any particular meaning.

Below are some examples of sighted / human guide and when it is often used.

Here is an article titled How to be a Sighted Guide

Here is another helpful page with information on certain situations such as narrow spaces.

Here is a video by London Vision.

While human guide can be someone’s main mobility aid, it is often used according to the situation.

Situations in which your character might want to use sighted guide include:

-crowds, where a cane might be difficult to use or someone has a companion they would like to avoid being separated from

-while in lines, mostly to provide descriptions of what happens around them or to let them know when to move forward in the line

-ground that is uneven or steep may cause someone to want to use sighted guide rather than a cane, although this will depend on the person. Using a guide and a cane is also possible. A guide animal may go around the obstacle

-when going inside an unfamiliar house or indoor location, usually for locating a specific room

-navigating unfamiliar areas

-public transport

-guide animal handlers may choose to either do traditional sighted / human guide while using the guide animal or give the command for their animal to follow the person without holding onto them

Guides allow the blind person to gain additional information about their surroundings through conversation with the guide. Human guides can also aid in navigation by providing helpful directions or landmarks. Human guides can be used with a white cane or guide animal. They can also be used without any other mobility aid.

People from cultures who place high value on interdependence, especially on family, may wish to use more human guides. People who have anxiety or disorientation may prefer to use human guides or simply travel with someone else for security. Other people who might tend to use more human guides include: people who have moved to an unfamiliar area, people who are losing vision, people who have recently become blind, people with other disabilities or health concerns, or people who prefer the company of others.

In stories, human guides can portray character relationships, establishing trust and respect. Perhaps a character already knows how to guide, showing familiarity with blindness. This mobility tool can display the helpfulness of a stranger or be the start of a meet-cute. Additionally, showing how good or bad a character is at guiding can show compatibility between characters. I also believe that writing guides into a story can allow for detailed visual descriptions or conversation between your characters.

Imagine character A slowly learning to trust character B, culminating in letting that character be a human guide.

Sonar Devices

I wanted to include a section for these because they aren’t often discussed.

Sonar devices are intended as a supplement for use of a cane or guide animal. Unless the sonar and cane are paired together, such as with the WeWalk cane. While they could be used by themselves, this should probably only be with the addition of a guide and in non-crowded, familiar area.

Here is a video review of the Sunu Band by TheBlindLife.

Here is another review comparing two devices: the Sunu Band and the Buzz Clip.

Note how the devices are used, especially with a cane. The cane is used to detect objects from the waist below, whereas the sonar device is used to detect objects above the waist. This includes objects like tree branches.

Sonar devices work by detecting objects in front of the user and giving a tactile alert, such as a vibration. Vibrations increase the closer one gets to the object, giving a continuous vibration when right in front of it. Moving away from the object, such as stepping to the side, will stop the vibration.

This device could allow blind characters to be more active an create interesting opportunities for descriptions.

Why Does My Character Need a Cane, Guide Animal, or Human Guide?

A few reasons include:

1. It will be more relatable for blind audiences if characters move through the world like they do

2. It is more realistic for stories set in our world or worlds meant to be realistic save for a few elements

3. It allows audiences who aren’t blind to understand how blind people move through the world. In the case of sighted guide, it also offers depictions of politely and efficiently offering help to a blind person, which may include not offering help at all.

4. Canes and guide animals give your blind character some visibility, as the cane, and to some extent the guide animal and harness, signify to others that a character is blind or otherwise disabled in some way. As for sighted / human guide, it offers an extra voice for advocacy purposes or the added visibility that someone is being helped.

5. Mobility tools allow blind people to participate more in a world that is rarely accessible for them at a basic level. I almost always find this is true in books as well unless the writer makes a point to include universal design.

6. Mobility aids improve navigation, increase safety, and increase interaction with the world.

Why Would Anyone Need To Know My Character is Blind?

Safety is a big factor.

In this video titled Using A White Cane While Legally Blind by Cayla With a C, Cayla discusses some of the benefits of using a white cane. One of these is that the cane works as an identifier, letting people know the person using it can’t see so other people need to watch out for them. She mentions it is also important for cars and bikers to know cane users can’t see them well or at all, meaning they don’t expect a cane user to move out of the way.

Both Cayla and Molly Burke share in their videos that people are more likely to offer help when they use a cane.

How Do Mobility Aids Help Blind People Navigate?

It depends on what mobility aid is used.

Canes offer more tactile information and direct contact with the environment. Canes allow someone to feel changes in the ground, such as going from carpet to tile. They make it easier to feel steps or broken sidewalk. They allow blind people to be aware of obstacles, such as a chair, rather than simply going around them they way they might with a guide dog. They help blind people locate landmarks they need in order to be oriented in their environment and navigate their way to different places. For example, they may search for a bench, knowing a drinking fountain is across from it.

As for guide animals, because I am not a guide animal handler myself, I wanted to include quotes from a few sources.

The Guide Dog Foundation says the following in a very useful Q&A:

“In short, guide dogs are taught how to find and follow a clear path, maneuver around obstacles, and stop at curbs. They follow their teammate's directions, and they know that they can disobey only in the face of danger.”

And according to International Guide Dog Federation:

“A guide dog is trained to guide its owner in a straight line unless ordered otherwise. The dog will avoid any obstacles en route, above or around you. It will stop at stairs, doors and kerbs. The dog will not decide where to go; it is up to the vision impaired person to instruct the dog on the direction for the dog to go and the dog will safely guide the person as instructed. The vision impaired person will already be familiar with regularly travelled routes and the dog will quickly become familiar with these too.”

And International Association of Assistance Dog Partnership has a page that explains the categories of tasks performed by guide dogs, as well as other types of assistance dogs.

Sighted / human guide can be used with a family member, friend, or helpful stranger. It can be a primary mode of O&M or used when needed, meaning it be used even if someone already has a cane or a guide animal.

Usually, human guide involves contact with the guide. It can also include the guide orienting the person they are leading by describing surroundings such as “there is a bench to the right” or “we’re near the door” or it can involve telling someone where steps are.

How Do I Know What My Character Should Use?

What your character chooses will depend on their lifestyle, level of vision, age, where they live, culture, religion, and their needs as a blind person.

In the post on guide animals, I went over a few reasons someone might choose a guide dog or a guide horse.

Here are some articles about canes vs guide animals. Although the ones I found focus on dogs, I believe many points made about guide animals can be applied to miniature horses as well.

Guide Dogs vs White Canes: The Comprehensive Comparison

The link above includes the following:

“One of the biggest and most obvious differences between a guide dog and white cane is that a guide dog is trained to avoid obstacles along their pathway. A white cane helps locate impediments so that the blind person can decide how best to maneuver around them.”

Another article that may help:

White Cane vs Guide Dog: Why or Why Not?

White Canes and Guide Dogs - What’s Actually the Difference?

Here are some videos:

Guide Dog vs Canes - Pros and Cons by Molly Burke

White Canes vs Guide Dogs by Challenge Solutions

White Canes vs Guide Dogs - Which is Better? 21 Pros and Cons by Unsightly Opinions

Guide Dog vs Cane, Which is better? by Ashley’s Advice

I also wanted to discuss a few more points.

1. Multiple disabilities

People with multiple disabilities may prefer different methods. For example, those who use a stabilizing cane may have different reasons for choosing their mobility aid. I went into that more in this post here.

It would be difficult to cover all other disabilities here, but I will attempt to include some things to consider.

Consider any pain, weakness, or other difficulties your character may have around their hands, wrists, arms. Canes require repetitive use of these areas.

Consider any sensory issues your character has. Sensory issues may come into play with cane vibration and the tactile information given by canes, especially as it differs between surfaces. The video by Challenge Solutions listed above discusses pain caused by vibration and repetitive movement, for someone who already deals with this. It goes into more detail, mentioning that a dog may lessen this difficulty compared to cane use.

Consider phobias or traumas that may make service animals, especially dogs, a bad choice for the character, their loved ones, or community. In contrast, consider how a service animal may help provide comfort to characters with traumas unrelated to animals

I hope that provides a starting point for thinking about how other disabilities may impact someone’s choice when deciding what mobility aid is right for them. I hope this is helpful is choosing a mobility aid for your character.

2. Financial Considerations

Consider financial difficulties. While guide dog schools often provide highly trained dogs, weeks of training, a harness, and some essentials for free, it depends on the school. Some schools may cover the dog’s veterinary care, while others may not. Some may provide one bag of food. Some may cover costs of transportation to the training school, but may not cover the cost of missed work. Challenge Solutions lists several costly areas that go with having a dog, such as grooming or toys.

The amount the training schools cover is so varied that one cannot assume anything about how the blind person keeps up with care of their dog. They may have trained with a school that covers the most costly things, leaving them to buy the occasional treats and toys, while other schools may not cover much after the dogs and handler leave the school, causing financial difficulties that may or may not have been fully anticipated. Financial situations of blind people with guide animals cannot be reliably assumed.

Canes, on the other hand, are a one-time payment per cane, if they aren’t already free. While canes do require replacement tips and while people do go through canes quickly, the cost is not comparable to that of caring for a guide animal.

For writers, it may make sense to have your fictional world contain schools that continue to cover costs over the guide animal’s life. Or perhaps veterinary care is free in that world. Either way, this may be something to consider. The character’s financial situation can show a lot about them and the world in which they live.

3. Additional thoughts about safety and discrimination

Safety has many different connotations in blind communities. Some people consider safety to mean social safety, as alerting others to blindness may explain any behavior that would be considered strange or rude.

Some consider safety to mean physical safety from tripping, falling, running into objects or people, or having them run into you. This is especially important with vehicles.

Still others consider safety to mean being able to navigate and orient oneself, such as when traveling alone.

Some people consider safety to mean interpersonal safety and the fear of being harmed due to being perceived as vulnerable.

Molly Burke mentions this particular subject at around 19:22 to 20:47 in her video here. To paraphrase, she says that having a big dog with her makes her feel safer as a blind person. Molly states that the white cane may increase her vulnerability as it identifies her as a potential target due to her blindness.

I mentioned that it is helpful for people to be identified as blind, such as with a cane and, to a lesser extent, a guide dog. That is still true. This may provide protection by alerting others that they may need to look out for a blind person instead of expecting that person to avoid them or their vehicle.

On the other side, a cane may alert others to vulnerability in a way that is harmful to the blind person. Due to this factor, blind people may feel safer with a guide dog because the presence of a dog may make others hesitate before doing them harm. I am not sure if the same can be said for those with horses, but it is possible horses may still act as a deterrent. In the video by Challenge Solutions, Caitlyn says that while guide dogs are not trained to be guard dogs and should not be aggressive by nature, it can feel safer to travel with a guide dog. Caitlyn says the following: “They are dogs and I would like to think that they would have a protective instinct if a situation arose where that was needed.” She adds, “I think there is more of a protective aspect to guide dog usage than white cane usage. At least I always felt a lot safer with my dog than I do with my cane.”

I also wanted to include thoughts about discrimination.

Some blind people may worry they will experience more discrimination using one mobility aid over another. This may influence their decision. To give brief examples, people with service animals may be turned away from places they are allowed to go. They may need to advocate for themselves more because of this. Another example might be feeling like people judge them or stare at them more when they use a white cane. They may be grabbed or shouted at more often when using a white cane, as described by Challenge Solutions, or they may be ignored or go unnoticed in other cases. In fact, some blind people are only spoken to in public because of guide dogs acting as a conversation starter.

However, feeling invisible in society seems to be a common issue for many disabled people. Some people also talk about being invisible in some areas and uncomfortably visible in other areas. While a blind person’s choice of mobility aid may influence this, the common disabled experience of both invisibility and hyper-visibility might still follow them.

Additionally, myths about blindness, which I wrote about in this post here, may also cause people to accuse cane users of faking if they have residual vision, which can lead to them feeling unsafe or like they cannot use their residual vision without receiving negative attention. This may cause some people to want a service animal, as in the case of a guide dog, some people may assume they are simply walking their dog or training a guide dog. This may be a way some blind people try to avoid being accused of faking blindness. However, blind people with guide animals may also be accused of having a fake service animal or be accused of not really needing their service animal. Additional barriers may include general public ignorance about laws around service animals or differing laws around access per country.

All of the above can put a lot of strain on people who are just trying to get from point A to point B.

Sighted guide may come with some issues as well. Finding someone who is willing to guide and a helpful guide may be challenging unless a blind person is already using a trusted friend or family member. In social situations, other people may misunderstand use of human guide, believing that they should address the guide rather than the blind person. Use of this mobility aid may also come with judgment from others about the blind person being incapable, lazy, or a burden on others. None of these are true, but they can be judgments people make.

Sighted / human guide may be a preferred form of O&M for people who have recently gone blind or are in unfamiliar areas. Additionally, blind people who come from cultures where interdependence is valued may prefer to use a human guide with or without another mobility aid. It is also important to note that the nature of the blind community also celebrates both interdependence and dependence, and these may not always mean the same thing as they do to people who aren’t blind. This is also true when it comes to using mobility tools and techniques.

What Should My Low Vision Character Use?

The majority of blind people have some residual vision, including low vision. Which is part of why most of the blind community doesn’t use canes, along with lack of training. Unfortunately, many people with residual vision are, however subtly, turned away from using canes or other mobility aids. Based on stories from friends, suggestions in this post by @mimzy-writing-online, my own experience, and information online, I will suggest a few reasons this might be the case.

A big reason has to do with believing they have too much vision to require a mobility aid. The idea of not being disabled enough is both an internal an external issue for people with residual vision. This is because people often claim that if a person can see some, they must not require mobility aid. Mobility aids are seen as a last resort, rather than a way to make life easier. This can lead to self-doubt, confusion, or guilt for a blind person. They might feel as if they are ungrateful because they believe other people have it worse. Conversely, some people may have been taught that relying on a mobility tool is shameful, giving up, or reveals a lack of independence. And sadly, some blind people with residual vision may be afraid of rejection or standing out from others.

This leads me into another reason, which is: believing they will experience more discrimination or social exclusion when using a cane. Unfortunately, this can be true. However, it is also true to that not using a cane can cause others to judge someone for things they do or don’t do as a blind person.

Disclosure is an option that works for many. However, blind people cannot always disclose to everyone they interact with, such as to strangers spotting them outside. Disclosure of blindness can also be fraught with accusations of not really being blind, not looking blind, or not being blind enough to count as blind. These accusations sometimes happen when using canes as well. Denial of help, denial of accommodations, and accusations of faking are common.

In some circumstances, the opposite can happen. Instead of being accused of faking, the choice to use a mobility aid might bring about helpfulness from strangers or concern from loved ones. There may be concern that the vision loss has progressed or that something is wrong. After all, suddenly using a mobility tool can inspire alarm in people who aren’t used to them, because the prevailing thought is that mobility tools are only for totally blind people. And the incorrect message behind this is that being totally blind is negative.

Characters choosing to start using a mobility tool could ease themselves and loved ones into it by being open about their plans. They could experiment with cane use, marginally increasing use over time. Or they could simply use a cane as often as they need to, addressing concerns as they are brought up. Portrayal of communication about mobility aids between a blind character and their family could be a lovely addition to a story.

Lastly, blind people are expected to rely on residual vision for as long as possible, in as many situations as possible. Even if it causes pain, disorientation, or anxiety. Even if seeing is exhausting or frustrating. Even if it isn’t safe. However, the other side of this is that many blind people with residual vision enjoy seeing colors or shapes. They may enjoy being able to describe things to friends with less vision.

But their sight may not always be enough to forgo using a mobility tool safely.

It is my opinion that anyone on the blind spectrum or with declining vision can benefit from use of accessibility tools, whether it be learning Braille or training with a cane.

People with low vision can use canes when they feel it is necessary. Examples may include times where they may need extra visibility or extra contact with the ground as they walk. They may choose to use a cane when crossing the street for added safety. Same applies to using stairs. They may bring their cane only to unfamiliar environments or out with them at night. They might feel like using it one day or in one place and not the next. They may have a condition that is not stable from day to day. Overcast weather or dim lighting could make it necessary to pull out a cane. They could simply want to use their cane or decide to leave it at home because they felt like it.

A blind person does not need to a full-time cane-user to be allowed to use one. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. If they need it, they need it. It is that simple. It will be the same with your low vision character.

Characters may also switch up mobility tools depending on what is best for where they’re going and what is accessible to them. For example, someone may use a human guide for extra safety while in a new city.

Why I Want More Mobility Aids in Media

This is just my opinion, but I would like to see more characters using mobility aids blind people use in real life. This helps to normalize use of these tools for people who are not familiar with blindness. This allows blind people representation that is more true to life. It also adds more detail to stories that wouldn’t otherwise be there.

There is also something off about blind characters who don’t use anything, specifically because most portrayals of blindness involve characters who are totally blind. Why are these characters walking around absolutely everywhere with no familiar way to navigate? Why are tools used by the blind community rejected when it comes to stories about blind characters?

I suspect it is because of a few factors:

1. Not knowing how mobility aids work. Another deterrent could be the difficulties of research and, in live-action media, wanting to avoid training usually sighted actors in use of these mobility tools.

2. Not wanting the blind character to seem too hindered

3. Wanting the mobility aid to be cooler or more interesting if it does exist. This varies by genre and the period in which the piece of media is set.

I find it strange that most stories about blind people do not feature blind characters using tools or techniques blind people use in real life. It sometimes feels as if blindness is a decoration writers add to their story without thinking about how it would impact their character.

My suggestion is to consider the amount of vision your character has, along with their lifestyle, and choose a mobility tool that works for them. I know that some of you are writing characters who can technically move through life without using a mobility aid full time. In these cases, it would be fun to see characters who are transient mobility aid users.

Closing - Not Everything About Blindness is Difficult

I hope this post was informative. I know that some of it may feel contradictory in nature, but that seems to be part of diversity of experience people have with mobility aids. Not everything has to be true for your character or will be true to their experience. Additionally, don’t feel pressure to portray the difficult aspects of mobility aids or being blind in public spaces; it is good to have stories where blind characters are treated well by everyone. There are days when blind people have nothing but lovely interactions with others and when safety is not a concern.

While I mentioned some negative aspects of being blind in this post, there are many positives as well. This can include opportunities to meet new people and have conversations. This can mean getting the chance to use cool gadgets other people don’t get to use. It can also mean being able to experience the world in unique and fun ways, such as noticing little details about the world. It can mean appreciating colors, lights, smells, sounds, or sensations. It can also mean cool navigation tools and techniques.

I will post a part 2 soon. It will include information for writers of science fiction, fantasy, and stories set in historical times. As always, if anyone has anything feel free to share. I will add any responses here as edits to this post.

If you found this post helpful, my pinned post has many more links. I accept asks or messages with questions. I also offer beta reading for blind characters.

-BlindBeta

[tempestgnostic]

Cultivating Authenticity in the Community Garden

A whole world of possibility opened up for me years ago when I realized that alterhuman/nonhuman identity isn’t solely one experience. You don’t have to believe in past lives. You don’t need to go through shifts. If you don’t have a visual representation of your alt/non identity, that’s alright. Our experiences are broader than that, and we need to encourage others to understand and affirm this, so we can encourage authenticity and learn about different paths to this identity that still hold the core of what it means to be alt/non.

I believe conceptkin truly changed the game for our community in a profound way. Here we see folks who possess very strong and impactful connections to abstract concepts, to the extent that they are these concepts, just as I am the archetypal werewolf. I see little difference between our experiences in general. I don’t personally believe my identity comes from a past life, and I only have the fuzziest ideas about what I would look like if I could physically represent myself accurately. This isn’t uncommon in the broader alt/non community, but it seems to be an experience shared by many conceptkin in particular.

Archetropes are another excellent example. We’re constantly pushing the boundaries of what being alt/non is for us, in order to explain ourselves more accurately and hopefully pave the way for others to do the same. Our community thrives when we take the anthropological approach: we start from the assumption that others want to represent their beliefs and experiences honestly. We keep in mind the limitations of language, as well as the accepted norms of our community that often dissuade ‘fringe’ belief. The truth is that our experiences are fundamentally real and ultimately valuable to understanding who we are.

If we want to truly encourage authenticity in the alt/non community, we must cultivate a hungry curiosity. We must learn to parse out what is truth and what is trolling, but also to give that initial benefit of the doubt, however briefly. We must recognize that we don’t all speak the same language, nor do we all agree on which terms mean what, and many of us have only been exposed to bits and pieces of the whole. We all make mistakes that require prompt correction, but we should approach that correction with some level of grace. Community-wide understanding is not instantaneous—far from it. Our work must be painfully collaborative.

None of what I’m saying here is new or revolutionary, by any stretch. Our community has decades of history, kept alive and accessible by amazing community members who have dedicated an incredible amount of time and energy to doing so. I repeat these sentiments because they bear repeating. I’m a big fan of the “Holy shit! Two cakes!” philosophy, and if my perspective can offer something insightful, then I’m happy to share it. (Hell, I’ll share it anyways.)

I have been welcomed into this community with open arms (and open limbs and wings of all kinds). I’ve had the pleasure of meeting fellow community members offline, and discussing our alt/non identities in meatspace has been a joy that’s wholly indescribable. I’ve never felt so seen, so profoundly understood, and I consider it a fine blessing to have found my way here.

[themiracleofteddybearmanifestos]

I know I'm late to the party but I just watched Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe and I have a LOT of thoughts.

I think this was a terrible adaptation.

I think it was a beautifully produced and well acted movie, and maybe without having read the book it would have been fine, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't separate it from its source material because some of the changes were just horrible.

I know you can't keep everything in, that's fine. You cut some things, you rearrange some stuff, you fit within your runtime. But why change some of the most crucial/beautiful moments? I have a long, long list of quotes that were either removed or just horribly altered/misplaced and it's so disappointing.

Getting rid of Mrs. Quintana grasping Ari's face and saying, "Aristotle Mendoza, I will love you forever" is so sad. Changing what Gina said, that Ari says is the "nicest thing you ever said to me" to be something totally mundane (essentially changed "you got hunkier" to "you look different") is just an odd choice. But changing the way Ari reacts to kissing Dante? That's horrible.

Ari was done horribly in this movie, I'm sorry. The actor did great and he was lovely in certain moments, but they took out what made him shine. I have a friend who said they didn't like the book because Dante deserved so much better, and I disagreed. Book Ari has moments where he's an asshole, but at his core he is a kind and loving boy who is grateful and appreciative. Film Ari is a sometimes sweet boy who is more often than not just rude.

I can understand some changes have to be made when adapting a first person POV novel, that's fair, but you can absolutely use body language and other visual cues to give insight. This is especially clear with Ari's dad, who in the book is understandably difficult for Ari to get along with. He's distant and intimidating and doesn't want to be open. But in the movie he just seems like a sad dad trying his best to talk to his teenage son, and Ari is completely rude and cold to him for no apparent reason! Film Ari does not thank or hug his parents when they give him a car. Film Ari does not say goodnight to his father or listen when his father wants to show him a painting. Idk exactly how that all plays out in the book since I forget a lot, but the important thing is that all we are shown is his father trying and Ari being rude in response. His motivation is unclear and his behavior is selfish.

Now, one of the biggest crimes is what happens in the truck after Dante and Ari kiss. First off, change of location from Dante's room to the truck ... Okay sure. But I have no idea how you can first off, totally alter this scene and omit a very important quote:

"I don’t kiss boys.” “Okay, so the first rule is: No trying to kiss Ari.”

"You have the harder rule? Buffalo shit... I, on the other hand, have to refrain from kissing the greatest guy in the universe—which is like walking barefoot on hot coals." (Pgs 256-257)

And then completely and entirely warp this scene:

So I closed my eyes.

And he kissed me. And I kissed him back.

And then he started really kissing me. And I pulled away.

"Well?" he said.

"Didn't work for me," I said.

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

"Okay. It sure worked for me."

"Yeah. I think I get that, Dante."

"So, well, that's over with then, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Are you mad at me?"

"A little."

He sat back down on his bed. He looked sad. I didn't like seeing him that way. "I'm more mad at myself," I said. "I always let you talk me into things. It's not your fault."

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Don't cry, okay?"

"Okay," he said.

"You're crying."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

"Okay." (Pgs. 263-264)

HOW do you turn that into Ari calling Dante disgusting and screaming at him to get the fuck out of his car??? That's the fucking breaking point for me, because Ari is a lot of things, but an outright aggressive homophobe is not one of them. Maybe I'm forgetting, and maybe something similar happens later and they just rearranged it. But I know for a FACT that Ari NEVER calls Dante disgusting. Never. Because the word disgusting appears once in this book and Gina says it to Ari. That's it, not a single other usage.

That's what broke it for me, even though I had a lot of issues with other parts (Ari not saying thank you about the truck, removing the shoe-throwing game, getting rid of so much important dialogue, etc.) THIS is the thing that was unacceptable because even when Ari was mad at Dante, he didn't hurt him. He didn't immediately go back on his loyalty he'd just sworn, to stay by Dante even though he's gay. He didn't scream at him or curse him.

But I also just couldn't stand how much of the beautiful writing was completely removed. I love that book because it's poetic and full of quips and oddities. Dante in the movie is cute and sweet, but the oddest thing shown about him is that he wears silly sunglasses. We're told he's weird, and get little glimpse of it, but the heart of Dante is not there. In the book he feels a little mystified and hard to fully grasp, but in the movie he's just... There. A shell, almost. He's still lovable, but he's not wholly Dante. It's like an afterimage of Dante, which is impressive because he was very personable in the movie, but that just shows how enchanting Dante is in the book. He's hard to pin down, but he's not hollow. I think a big issue was that a lot of the time, Dante seemed hurt by Ari. Genuinely disheartened, rather than laughing it off until he couldn't anymore, he was kind of just sad? I don't know. We had the bones of something beautiful with this movie, really, but they just didn't do it right.

Again, the loss of the poeticism and the changes to Ari are what hurt it the most. Movie Ari has very sweet moments where the book character shines through, but he takes himself too seriously in a way where it feels like we're supposed to as well. Ari is lame! He's an awkward teenager with a lot of angst because he's figuring things out and struggling to find his place in the universe, but movie Ari isn't that at all. He's just brooding and downright mean at times. His reactions to the things around him were so hollow and uncaring, and maybe that's how he looked from the outside, but again, this story was not told from the outside and completely loses it's effect when you can't tell what he's feeling or thinking because he just seems mad or disinterested. Not all the time, there were some incredible scenes. I loved him talking with his parents after he beat up Julian. I loved the final scene with the kiss. I think his reaction worked well when hearing about his aunt's girlfriend. But damnit that was lost to me the moment he called the most brilliant boy he'd ever met "disgusting."

Overall, I don't regret watching the movie and I loved some of the scenes and think the music and atmosphere were great. But I'm heartbroken over the fact that so much of the nuance was completely lost. Even if there was some nuance present in the movie, it was far, far less than in the book.

(Less structured bonus points because this rant was messy enough but I have more to say): Dante told him not to open the sketchbook until he was gone. In the movie Ari opened it right up and made a kind of rude comment. Next: so many important bonding moments were removed. Dante giving Ari a sponge bath and them visiting with each other every day Ari was in the hospital. The shoes were significantly played down to the point where the sentimentality of the little shoes was almost lost. Also: The letters were so entirely diminished. And: Ari's brother killed two people, not just the trans woman but also someone in jail. Bro I haven't read this book in multiple years and I'm able to recount this much, I don't even want to think about how glaringly off it all is when I've read the whole book to compare. (If any of my points were wrong, I blame this. But I'm pretty sure most of them are right.)

I loved the end of the movie tho lol I'm always a sucker for a sweet scene and Dante's actor killed it with the eye acting in that scene, the emotions were palpable.

[diodellet]

relationships: first semester edition

first impressions, icks, and all that fun stuff

Notes:

By ‘first semester’ I’m loosely estimating the time around the events of Books 1-3 (but hng there are some plot points I wanna ignore. For the vibes)

Mentions of misogyny, bullying, physical violence but it doesn’t go into heavy detail (I’m just a humanities major tryna condense these interactions into 100-200ish words.)

Getting this outta the way, yes, everyone can (or will) clock that she has a crush on Jamil. While it is entertaining in the same way reality TV/a car crash is, most of them find it pitiful.

This post ended up so long, I'm so sorry 🙇‍♂️(not sorry for giving my girl Lou all these challenges😤)

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts

Lou was already scared from hearing secondhand information (thanks Ace🙄but this is what her chismosa-nature gets her) about how Riddle was being a tyrant in Heartslabyul. But after meeting him for realsies, she got a liiiiil irked about how uptight he was with rules, (“‘Rules are good for keeping order’? What kind of order? Hierarchical order??”)

At first, Riddle thought she’d have a good head on her shoulders. He was wrong, but thankfully they don’t interact that much to butt heads often. During the occasional joint class, he finds that she’s just as lackadaisical as some NRC students but at least she’s willing to defer listen to her upperclassmen. (Though, her coarse language is very very grating to him. He doesn’t know that she likes to break the rules of formal English every day. Not yet, at least.)

Trey Clover

Lou was glad to see that there was a reliable older brother figure in Heartslabyul to balance out Riddle’s—uh….(flips through dictionary for nice words)—neurotic side. (Before properly meeting any of the dorms, she initially visualized NRC as a kinda big frat party kinda thing, but that’s her overdramatizing her situation.) Those first few weeks of adjusting to living at the Ramshackle dormitory though, made her embarrassed by how much of his baking she was smuggling during her first Unbirthday party visits. 

Trey doesn’t really see her around unless she’s hanging out with Ace and Deuce. For all his worrying, he liked that she balances out the 1-A trio dynamic, that eased his worries a little bit. Until he realized that she has a cheeky side like Ace. Truly he wasn’t gonna be given much of a break from playing the sensible upperclassman. 

Cater Diamond

Extravert warning of the microinfluencer variety. (Back in her homeworld, Lou has met a few of those and she did not have good experiences with them). But on the bright side, after going through the ordeals of Riddle’s Overblot together, she eventually warms up to Cater, not quite clocking that he has an introverted-ish side, but more of her realizing that she was judging him for being a stereotype and that she should make an effort to see past that 😇(Soon, she shall work up the courage to ask him for guitar-playing tips, esp for fingerstyle).

Immediately notices there’s something wrong with this girl. Nah, not really, but when Cater’s combing through his Unbirthday Party pics before uploading the best onto Magicam, he notices that Lou’s…resting expression? has something off about it. It’s uncomfy in the way that one looks at oneself in the mirror. But since they both reflexively distance themselves from people, it’ll take a bit of a while before they get to have those uncomfy-but-needed conversations as senpai-kouhai.

Ace Trappola

Did not like him on first meeting, but there truly is nothing like the bonds of friendship forged from the fires of adversity. Lou does appreciate that Ace has the courage to speak up against shitty/unjust situations (though she won’t vocalize that she’s on his side, much to his chagrin). She also strongly envies anyone with slight math proficiency, but still has a bit too much pride to ask him upfront for help. (So whenever Deuce asks, she’s sliding into the conversation nonchalantly.)

At first Ace thought she was a goody two shoes like Deuce. But he didn't expect her to sympathize with his grievances towards Riddle’s rigidity. Much less, her lil cheeky spontaneous side. (But he does have slight beef with how she pretends to be innocent unless she really gets caught red-handed). He has tried confronting her about her slight two-faced moments, but that conversation just kept going in circles so, it’ll have to come up at another more inconvenient time.

Deuce Spade

Thank you Deuce for voicing the questions that Lou’s too shy to (It will take her a bit of a while to actually vocalize the things she’s grateful for to the 1-A trio, mayhaps post-Book 6?) But she did laugh out loud when he thought chickens came from store-bought eggs. She does feel bad about using him like a human shield when she feels a physical confrontation about to happen, but she doesn’t stop doing it until the events of Book 3. Seeing her “kinda-first friends” being subjected to the Octatrio’s shenanigans pushed her into doing something brave. And stupid, like using Ramshackle as collateral. She sometimes gets the urge to try coloring her hair so she fits in a bit better at the magical anime boys school, but isn’t sure if Deuce would be willing to try bleaching her hair.

It takes a while before Deuce realizes that she has a two-faced side. (And it does cause a small rift in their friendship when some more issues come to light). But other than that, they have a sort of reputation as those struggling academically, it’s a bit of an inside joke between them.

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar

Lou actually drops her facade around him, that threat about yanking out her teeth sounds serious. Doesn't call him 'kuya' (big brother) like she does with the other upperclassmen, jumps straight into calling him 'ninong' (uncle), especially after meeting Cheka. Is way more reserved around him, but more upfront about her feelings compared to the rest of the twst charas. 

Immediately notices there is something wrong with this girl, or rather hears it? Leona finds that she's actually quite vitriolic compared to the “friendly” first impression she made at the Opening Ceremony, which doesn't surprise him. In that sense, she fits right in at NRC. Tbh, he susses out the rest of her general personality just from playing chess with her during the events of Book 3. She loves moving her knights, but loses steam through the middle and end game. Chess veterans, u tell me what that says about her lmao.

Ruggie Bucchi

Lou is so happy to find someone willing to split meals with her. (There’s nowhere else to go for this relationship to go but up, esp after the events of Book 4 JK SIKE—) So imagine her betrayal when it comes to light that he was one of the major culprits behind the accidents during the Interdorm tournament. She already noticed that he has a scheme-y side to him, but when she thinks about how [redacted for irrelevance], she realizes that she isn’t really losing much when she’s letting herself get played for a fool.

Damn, this girl is pathetic - Wait, she has leftovers? Ruggie kinda reevaluates that initial brush-off of her because of how often she shares food with him. At some point, he kiiinda gets hit in the conscience by seeing how skinny she is and how little she eats during meals. But like, he can't stand wasting food. (Unwillingly, he kind of takes it on himself to teach her little life hacks for living on her own. Unbeknownst to her, he snatches just a lil bit from her wallet in addition to the leftovers she gifts him. For some just payment.)

Jack Howl

Damn, this girl is kinda pathetic, she needs to work hard and improve herself. (Jack! She has undiagnosed mental illness, you can't just say that!) Because of Book 3, he gets a front seat to her two-facedness which rubs him the wrong way, but she does seem to be doing it for her friends, so he can’t argue against that. (It doesn’t stop him from sermoning/doting on her like he would for his younger siblings.) Going into headcanon territory here, but I like to think that Jack and his fam are Fil-Can, so he understands a bit of her Tagalog (which makes her feel a little less homesick), though she uses so much slang, he sometimes can’t keep up.

Lou also didn’t like Jack on first meeting. She gets irked by moralistic types of people, but she grows a grudging sense of respect for Jack after Book 3. (Doesn’t stop her from always using him as a shield whenever there’s an intimidating person nearby.) On second thought, she does feel a biiit guilty that he genuinely gives her solutions when she vents aloud (even if it’s mostly for the drama), so she tries not to do it within earshot.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

At first Lou was kinda unimpressed with his whole merchant schtick. (“Can you recreate my lola’s sinigang recipe? No? *intensely disappointed face* Oh… that’s alright, I’m fine now.”) Girlie was gambling on the fact that they had 200 anemones to look after and that they had nothing to offer each other to fly under his radar. Hates these types of “give an inch, they’ll take a mile” people. In spite of the thalassophobia trauma she received, one good thing came from Azul’s Overblot and that was getting to hound him with extra bureaucracy shit.

This girl is two-faced, has ulterior motives and is pretending to be dumb, someone PLEASE confirm what Azul’s seeing. Forms a tentative partnership with her, since she comes across as innocent and well-meaning to a sizable amount of people (compared to the three of ‘em in Octavinelle, who are on the more intimidating side), so at least he managed to find a use out of her! Does he sympathize with her as they were both bullying victims…? lmao no. It gives him a slight sense of catharsis to be mean to her.

Floyd Leech

Oh no, her thalassophobia grew a pair of legs. Lou was already tuning out the giant glass wall of the Mostro Lounge, what do you mean she caught the attention of the Leech twins? It’s hard to put on a boring facade when they have the audacity to just pick her up and squeeze her. (Ironically, it’s her being bothered by the tweels staved off most other NRC students’ attempts to bully her because like… that’s just sad.)

Calls her Triggerfish, also clocks her two-facedness but he finds Azul’s frustration towards her funny. Floyd likes that she’s high strung. Initially found her screaming and thrashing entertaining (“Wow, look at her lungs go”) though he might get bored of it at some point. But considering the shit that will happen in Book 4, that’s not gonna happen any time soon. 

Jade Leech

Oh no, her thalassophobia has a twin. She also made the mistake of thinking that Jade was the easier twin to negotiate with (as she tends to misjudge the vice housewardens 😔 This will not be the last time this happens.) Absolutely cannot get a read on this guy, and just always braces for the worst if she ever gets approached. That changes when he offers a smidge of the gossip he knows about, suddenly she’s willing to bear with the shenanigans and ordeals.

Also likes that she’s high strung. “Yes, Floyd, look at her lungs go” pt. 2 Electric Boogaloo. Imagine his joy when Jade found out that she also likes wordplay and puns, tried recruiting her into the Mountain Lovers’ club but she's so adamant on saying "no" 😔 (When she was looking for an arts club to join, mans really thought he could be the one out of the Octatrio to be able to get her to agree to something wholeheartedly.)

Scarabia

Kalim al-Asim

Lou gets so tired hanging out with him. But genuinely does get disarmed by how goodhearted he is, to the point that she'd talk about her pre-isekai life. Though that kind of changes during the Scarabia arc proper, upon hearing more about his family life she [redacted for irrelevance] and distances herself. Until the VDC happens /shrug

She's so shy :( but she seems fun! Kalim mistakenly thinks that she needs to be coaxed out of her shell with a good enough party (U sweet summer child, that will do the opposite). Is one of the people supplying her with too much leftovers, he doesn't know that Ruggie has to step in until like a bit later down the school year. It takes a bit for him to acknowledge that she’s two-faced, he just thinks that she also needs a bit of encouragement to speak up more (which is kinda true).

Jamil Viper

Lou’s idea of dealing with a crush in a face-to-face situation is to pretend that it is not there at all. (“Whomil Viper? I don’t even know her.”) It doesn’t help that she blushes easily. This sucks for her specifically. That aside, she tries really hard to make herself scarce when Jamil’s in the same room (though it’s hard to when she keeps glancing over at him) because she can intuit that he’s probably one minor inconvenience away from exploding out of stress. It’s an effect of living in a household where [redacted for length and relevance].

Doesn’t have that many strong opinions on first years, Jamil can easily play the role of a helpful upperclassman. There is something up with this girl, but Jamil notices retroactively that she is surprisingly good at saying little about herself? (Tho it is amusing to see how jumpy she is around him, a little ego boost for the day or sumn. He could probably use this for his little plan during the winter break, who knows /shrug).

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit

(Call Me Mother by RuPaul starts playing) Lou usually swaps between ‘ate’ (big sister) and ‘kuya’ when referring to him. As a general reaction to most Pomefiore (and Diasomnia students), she’s a little starstruck watching them from afar. Until she sees how haughty some of them are. Though in Vil’s case, she kind of bears with his harsh, critical nature. She might be the least cautious? around him compared to the other housewardens, because in her mind, everything she does will annoy him. (And it eases her homesickness in a weird, twisted way). There’s little she can do to salvage her image in front of him, so there’s no way it can get worse (cue VDC arc looming in the distance.)

The lost potential in this girl will give Vil an aneurysm. She ditched her audition for the Film Studies Club, she rarely ever wears her uniform properly, she’s probably running on fumes for most days of the week. There’s a lot to glean about her just from how she presents herself, and it is an eyesore. 

Epel Felmier

There is something off about this innocent-looking guy, but Lou can’t put her finger on it. Until she saw Epel when he’s not under Vil’s watchful eye. She realized once again that she had misjudged him as a stereotype, and that she should strive to see past that. She tries her best to be civil.

Epel has heard about the hijinks she and the other 1-A peeps have gotten up to. The chandelier incident, the magestone finding, and managing to avoid expulsion by the skin of their teeth. And that sounded so cool to him, until he saw how shy and withdrawn she was in person, thus reared up his internalized misogyny. (They could have ended up in a scuffle but they’re 2 petite people tryna throw hands. He’s the first person to get her to full-on drop her people-pleaser attitude though, if that’s anything of note.)

Rook Hunt

Lou tries so hard not to judge the outwardly eccentric people. And then she finds out he’s a fervent patron of the arts (++he also knows some juicy gossip). If she weren’t so shy, he’d probably be the third year that she’d approach the most. 

(Tbh, I couldn’t think of a nickname he’d give her, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there 🤧) Like Vil, he also laments her lost potential (Whatever that is, Lou isn’t willing to hear it). He has tried to get her to join the Science Club, but she respectfully declined his offer (read: ghosted him after his long-winded spiel).

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud

Theoretically, they are the most similar in terms of disposition and interests but realistically, having them in the same room is like mixing oil and water. Lou felt like looking into a mirror when she met him in person for the first time. And she did not like him at all. She’s glad that he’s hardly ever on campus.

Idia sees how much of a people-pleaser she is, and he’s all “extravert /derogatory—wait, she likes anime and video games too? …Oh, she has normie taste…” (Cue Lou throwing that line back in his face after he goes on a Premo tangent). They could have ended up in a physical scuffle, but it’s very easy to stop 2 sedentary nerds from throwing hands, so all’s good 😇 (The relationship will worsen by Book 6).

Ortho Shroud

A walking Google…no, he’s a walking CCTV. Lou tries not to interact with him too much, especially after coming to that realization. As much as she really wants to spend a whole afternoon just asking questions about Twisted Wonderland and stuff, he sometimes sets off her hypochondriac-isms. (In an ideal world, she believes she could parse together his jargon-filled responses.)

With all of his technomantic enhancements, Ortho notices very quickly that there is something wrong with this girl, just from scanning her biometrics. But he gets a little frustrated at how she’s willing to brush off his worrying (the similarities between her and Idia are never ending 😤)

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia

Assuming she meets him after learning about the different types of non-humans in Twisted Wonderland, Lou is hellbent on making sure never to set off Malleus. (So imagine her confusion during Book 2, hearing that he might be injured? Like…how 🤔 He’s got guards with him…and he has lots of magic…how would a student be able to cause an accident?) She’s not fine with knowing that he likes to roam around Ramshackle, but she’ll turn away and claim deniability at seeing him there. It’s like ignoring ghosts🤧

She faces him with the same fear that most people do, and that doesn’t really paint a favorable impression with Malleus. In the end, she’s not that memorable a face for him.

Lilia Vanrouge

Lou probably first saw him when the Pop Music Club was tryna recruit new members. Actually doesn’t mind that he sings screamo style, if the music’s hard enough Lou can vibe with it. But also, seeing that there were only 3 of them in the club was enough of a sign for her to sign-up elsewhere. Out of all the Diasomnia people, she can hold a conversation with Lilia.

Lilia is a tad bit concerned for her, but in the way that he gets concerned over the young'uns of today. If they were closer, he’d definitely invite her over whenever he gets to cook. He does notice that she has a bit of an abrasive relationship with Sebek, but he’s not too worried about it, it’s good that he’s friends with someone who’s willing to voice their opinions.

Silver

A little starstruck meeting him. But also Lou doesn’t want to wait for the other shoe to drop. She keeps her distance. Especially after seeing how imposing they were during the showdown in Book 2. (It’ll take until Book 7 for their relationship to have any meaningful developments).

Silver doesn’t have any strong opinions on her. She seems nice, they’ve had civil conversations. Though he finds it a bit offputting at how she’s envious of how much sleep he gets… like girl, please stop hyping up his narcolepsy, it’s not fun being at the whims of the urge to sleep. (Then again, it takes him a bit to piece together that she’s an insomniac).

Sebek Zigvolt

Also a little starstruck meeting him for the first time. Then he opened his mouth and Lou remembered that she does not like condescending people. Which sucks, because he’s also an appreciator of the arts and they could have meaningful discussions, except they usually end up one step away from full-on verbal arguments (he’s one of the few who unintentionally gets her to drop her people-pleaser facade, if that’s anything to note.)

Another human who refuses to know their place, it is a travesty to see such behavior in Night Raven College, Sebek laments. (It will also take a while for their relationship to have any meaningful developments.) While she has her passable moments, especially in front of their upperclassmen, he also overhears her little snarky comments. It annoys him and he will sermon her, even though it gets them both told off by the professor.

tl;dr: maybe i put too much thought into this (and i will probably do this again when i get the spoons to talk about books 4-6. book 7 will deffo be its own beast lmao) but i think this pretty much sums up how i'll be characterizing lou and her interactions with the cast when i decide to post some drabbles. its great that there are ppl observant enough to see that girlie has Issues™

tagging @viperwhispered @crystallizsch @twstgo

[multiplicity-positivity]

Median system here. I’m the host and core of the system (our syscovery happened a few months ago, we’re handling it pretty well I think). Something that bothers the others a tiny bit is that, while they’re thought of as facets, I’m not. They’re just facets of me, and I’m… metaphorically speaking, the gem.

Am I wrong for thinking that way? Like, I’m kinda scared of thinking of myself any other way. I’m supposed to be the overarching person who we all are, I don’t want to be just… another facet.

I know more distinct systems don’t have a “non-alter” since everyone is an alter, but I don’t know if it’s different for me, since I’m median, and we’re all different versions of the same person. And I know there’s no real “right” or “wrong” way to go about systemhood, but… Everyone else who has an opinion about it (within the system) thinks maybe I should consider myself a facet too, but I’m really uncomfortable with it.

Maybe I just needed to say this to someone. I don’t know. Do you have any advice?

Hi! Our biggest advice for you here is to listen to your system and collaborate with them to find some language that works for everyone. Some systems do use and benefit from “core” language, but many do not, as it can too easily lead to prioritizing or favoring one particular headmate over the rest of the system.

Since the rest of your facets have issues with this language, it likely would be for the best to change the way you refer to yourself! Perhaps you could simply call yourself the system host or maybe blanket self (<- Pluralpedia link!), or some other unique term that you all come together to decide. Maybe you could spend a bit of time referring to yourself as a facet, and see how it feels for you.

We do feel like it’s a bit unfair to say that if you are also a facet you’ll be “just another facet.” All system members, facets or not, are unique and special individuals in their own ways. Regardless of how well developed or how active they are, there isn’t ever one system member who should be put on a pedestal above the rest (hence why many systems are offended by “core” language).

We cannot dictate how you or your system visualize yourselves, and in the end we won’t be able to choose the right language that works for y’all. But we do really think that it would be a good idea to listen to your facets, take their ideas to heart, and at least try to work on a compromise that benefits everyone!

We’ll go ahead and link our post on in-system conflict (<- link) in case something there might be useful for y’all. Remember, change often is scary, but change is often necessary in order for us to keep growing and developing in positive ways! We’re wishing y’all the very best of luck with whatever you all decide in the future!

[bloomeng]

“Genshin character designs are bad.”

You really can’t navigate through the Genshin fandom without hearing this take. It’s stale at this point, but it’s…. also true. Except that’s usually not what people are actually saying. The true question up for debate: Are Genshin character designs ugly?

It irks me because there is validity to the original statement, and yet the conversation immediately moves into the territory of strictly opinion, leaving the true discussion never to be had.

So I’m having it… with myself…. in the form of a long post, because actually I find Genshin an interesting character design case study.

Before I really get into it I must address the elephant in the room; are Genshin’s character designs colorist?

Yes. Moving on.

Okay, okay, I’ll address it a little, Genshin has a problem with colorism. It’s a fiercely debated topic and honestly it’s one of the only real valid discussions I see around Genshin’s designs. That being said, I have nothing new to add to the conversation. If you don’t know why, sorry I’m not qualified to answer that, but you’re in luck because tons of qualified people have explained it across all platforms.

What I am partially equipped to talk about is character design. I’m no expert but I have taken a few formal classes on the subject, so I do have some insight to share. Character design at its core is usually quantified by how much of a character’s personality can be clearly determined from sight alone and how recognizable their silhouette is (though I’m not gonna touch on that today). Now there’s a lot of factors that go into both, but the fundamental thing that contributes to both is something known as shape language.

Shape has meaning. What that meaning is often depends on culture factors that determine your associations, but the Western simplification of shape is that circles are good-natured, rectangles/ squares are reliable, and triangles are energized. (these are my own personal words for them, there are countless ways to go about describing these associations) Shapes are then combined with each other to create more complex associations, and so on and so forth. It’s impossible to create a character without evoking some form of shape language, because art at its core is just shapes. The classic example are the round shapes seen in Mickey Mouse, though often times it’s far more subtle, like how Barbie has soft, round lines in her hair and face, but her hourglass figure is comprised of triangles to tell you she’s sexy, but the soft curves say she’s sweet not sexual— and it quickly gets very complicated. Basically character designs are rarely comprised of one shape alone, and when combined the “vibes” they evoke become complex.

So what does this have to do with Genshin? Genshin has poor shape language. The most obvious example of this are the faces. Genshin has same face syndrome, which I partially contribute to budget constraints with the models seeing as they reuse them over and over. Though it also has a lot to do with Genshin’s need for their characters to be conventionally attractive. Everyone must be beautiful and, as the current trend in anime artstyles dictates, not look a day over 12. The only thing that changes is the eye shape, but even then, it really doesn’t. There’s diversity between the male and female models, but calling it diversity seems generous, because they are practically the same. All the viewer has to go on to differentiate between faces are the expressions (and color but we’ll get there), which are also limited by the models.

The poor quality of the shape language continues into the bodies, seeing as the only thing that really changes is the height, not a lot of room for show casing contrast. (Also body diversity is just a good thing to have for the sake of having body diversity.) Visual contrast is one of the key things good shape language should deliver. It’s within this contrast that the viewer will have the opportunity to compare and thus make these associations. One character design may tell you things based on previous knowledge but it’s like an experiment without a control group.

Then we get to the character’s outfits and hairstyles. While it’s true there is a fair amount of diversity in clothing, the shape language continues to falter. Genshin characters have so much going on constantly in their designs that it seems like that should provide plenty of opportunities to showcase personality. Unfortunately what ultimately happens is that the details compete amongst themselves so much that they overshadow any sort of unified message they might have had about who this character is. Basically there’s too many different shapes. They don’t create a pattern and therefore don’t form any strong associations. You can have a good design with a lot of details but they should communicate a pattern together. A design is not good simply because it has a lot of detail. I will say there are definitely times where the clothing and hair do actually come through to tell me stuff about the character, but overall this over designing tends to be a detriment.

Genshin’s hair while in different styles usually relies on the same type of pointy strands and blunt edges.

(these characters were randomly selected to prove my point that you can quite literally pick any character in genshin and they will have at least one of these two components)

On their own pointy strands might tell us something, but considering every character has them, the pattern within a single character is rendered moot. “If everyone’s super, no one is.” Of course how they choose to wear their hair does speak to the character but its effect is limited when the structure of the hair is fundamentally the same. And then when you consider that the styling of many of these hairstyles doesn’t actually say a whole lot, it becomes obvious that Genshin is more concerned with creating hair that stands out. The problem is that details, asymmetry for example, normally tell us about the character, but considering so many hairstyles utilize asymmetry, it looses its meaning. Overall I will say I think Genshin is more of a 50/50 toss up on whether or not the hair suits the character.

I want to take a moment to point out a couple hair style designs in Genshin I think are really lovely and work very well.

And now I would like to do the same with some outfits.

(honorable mention to Bennett for being over accessorized in a way that actually tells you about his personality (goggles, a scar, bandaids, work gloves, utility belt), to Barbara for somehow mashing the concept of a nun and an idol together, to Klee for her childish whimsy and finally to Scaramoche for the sheer amount of subtle character growth motifs fit into all three of his outfits (the cultural stuff is really cool too))

Genshin I will say does a great job of creating and repeatedly using the elemental imagery as well as Khaneira’ah’s star. I also appreciate that every Archon has that ombre hair shift that glows during their burst. Makes them feel unique.

I think Genshin shines the brightest when they successfully incorporate cultural elements into their designs however, the only nation that does this with any sort of consistency is Inazuma. Inazuma’s aesthetic is so instantly recognizable. No one dresses exactly the same, but there are common through lines in the shoes, the style of the armor, and patterns in the clothes. (The design aesthetic is so strong that even after Scara got a Sumeru makeover he managed to keep elements that were clearly identifiable as Inazuman) Every other nation falls short in this department. I will give credit to the knights as there is some level of consistency in their designs, mostly in the metallic detailing; not quite a uniform but there is some commonality. Liyue does have cultural influence that definitely shows but it suffers from an overall lack of consistency in aesthetic, and doesn’t lean into its Chinese inspiration the same way Inazuma does. Mondstadt on the other hand is just vaguely European, but also half the time not even.

And then there’s Sumeru. I distinctly remember looking at the full Sumeru cast the first time and thinking that none of the them looked like they came from the same place. (It’s almost as if Sumeru is based on a bunch of separate countries that are culturally very different.) Pretty much no character has any real ties to any any real culture, but instead they just sorta grab vague elements. And at its worse just leans into orientalism (Nilou and Dori). I think personality wise the designs do a fairly stable job of saying at least something about their characters (Dehya and Kaveh). The designs do well individually but between the vague references and inconsistencies they falter. (I will say Cyno’s whole design being a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh is both hilarious, charming, and also mildly appropriative.)

On the topic of appropriation I think it’s important to note that Inazuma suffers from this too. While I absolutely love the way a lot of Japanese elements were integrated, outfits like Yae Miko’s shrine maiden garb bring forth this sexualization of cultural dress that I’m not particularly fond of. But then again you can also critique Rosaria’s sexy nun design for the same thing.

I also want to touch on something briefly because it’s important to note, but it’s a separate, much bigger conversation; Genshin, like anime, falls into a trap of catering their style to lolicon and shotacon enjoyers. It’s the reason all the characters look so young, why all the age discourse exists, why they refuse to confirm ages, and why all the children with the toddler model have some weird age work around. I don’t like it. It’s gross.

Another brief mention because it’s its own conversation; the female characters in Genshin are often over sexualized. Their clothes are skin tight, they almost always have weird random cut-outs, their skirts and dresses are designed to show off their breasts and asses, and all of their designs are high fem regardless of their personality. Give a female character baggy pants Genshin I dare you. Dori doesn’t count, she’s a toddler model in just a bra. I don’t have a problem with a female character being hot, but when that’s the only requirement…. it’s tiring. The classic female character design video game debate…. yah.

I think my overarching issue with Genshin’s clothing design is it says nothing about whose these people are. What jobs do they do? What do these accessories say about them personally? Take Yanfei. She’s a lawyer, yet nothing about her outfit speaks to that in the slightest. I remember the first time I sat down and looked at all the playable characters with a friend of mine. I didn’t play at the time and we thought it would be fun to see if I could guess their personalities. As you can imagine I did pretty poorly, and that’s because these designs just don’t suggest a whole lot.

And then we get to color.

Color is probably the most complicated part of art let alone character design. I feel as though we all have some familiarity with the concept of color coding in character design. The classic red/blue character foils. Color often suggests specific traits similar to the way shape language does, except unlike shape language color coding doesn’t always apply. You can’t just assign a character a color and call it coding, the character has to physically have that color on them in some significant manner. For example Naruto is clearly an orange coded character. He appears in the color throughout the series, but I couldn’t classify Eren Yeager as a green coded character even if it suited his personality (which it doesn’t) because it’s a uniform everyone wears. Attack on Titan does not evoke color coding the way Naruto does, so it’s not applicable.

With Genshin color is complicated. Genshin does have an established color pattern for all the elements, but not every character wears the color of their element. Now normally I would say just having a color pattern for the elements wouldn’t be enough to justify character color coding (since it would fall back into the uniform category), but in Genshin their visions connect to their personalities, so therefore the color of the elements is connected to them. For some the color coding is very obvious (Kaeya & Diluc) and for others it’s practically nonexistent (Yun Jin & Heizou). In all honestly I don’t know what to make of this other than Genshin is inconsistent in their elemental color coding but always consistent in their high saturation. Because color is complicated and a weaker area of mine it is equally likely that I’m missing something or that Genshin isn’t coding anything and it’s all pure aesthetics.

Which brings me to my final point; aesthetics. Hoyo as a company cares that you spend money. That is the number one goal at the end of the day. That’s why all their characters are conventionally attractive, why their art style is the way it is, why their shape language suffers, and why their outfits are overly detailed. It’s all about aesthetics. As a brand Genshin cares less about their story and more about how pretty their characters look, because if their characters are pretty then you’ll spend money. It’s not like Hoyo designed characters with bad shape language because they were ignorant. They knew exactly what they were doing when they sculpted every last visually pleasing strand of pointy hair.

Which brings me back to the real question that people were actually arguing over in the first place; are Genshin characters ugly?

I can’t answer that question. I mean they weren’t designed to be ugly, but if they don’t appeal to your taste, then to you they are ugly. But it’s more important to understand that “bad” and “ugly” are not the same. Genshin character designs are bad by professional standards but that doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Genshin designs can be both bad and likable, bad and pretty, bad and cute. Those are two vastly different things. It’s the same way people adore cult classic movies. They’re not good in the eyes of a critic, otherwise they wouldn’t be niche. They’re cult classics because people like them. Personal taste is just that. Personal.

But the most important question of all; do I like the Genshin Impact character designs?

I didn’t use to but I gotta say, they’ve grown on me.

[armoricaroyalty]

some dialogue tips

Okay, I expanded a bit on my thoughts from earlier and wrote...like 800 words? Here’s a collection of largely-unrelated thoughts about writing dialogue. I’m not an expert wordsmith by any means, but I’ve been doing simblr stories for about 2.5 years and writing creatively for much longer, so I hope some of this is helpful!

Read your dialogue out loud. In my opinion, the most important quality in dialogue is flow. Does the back-and-forth feel natural? Is the conversation stilted, or does it feel like something people might actually say? When you’re reading words on paper, it can be difficult to identify the rough patches. Your eyes are a different instrument than your ears and your brain processes speech and written text in different ways. If you’re stuck, read your dialogue out loud. The clunky phrases will jump out and be much easier to correct than if you left it on the page.

Different people talk differently. Dialogue is a tremendous vehicle for characterization, and I feel like I don’t see people discuss that point very often! What a character chooses to say and how they say it can tell us a lot about who a character is, where they come from, and what they value. You don’t need to strain yourself to come up with a completely unique voice for every single character, but if you remove dialogue tags and can’t tell whether a given line belongs to the 19-year-old stoner or their 65-year-old grandparent, you’ve missed an opportunity to imbue your characters with a lot of flavor and personality. Consider your characters’ personalities and ask yourself whether they’d use slang and profanity, whether they ramble or get straight to the point, whether they use complicated professional jargon or simpler and more accessible language, whether they hold back in conversation or say everything that pops into their head…

Most utterances are pretty short. In real life, it’s very rude to monologue or dominate a conversation without giving the other person a chance to reply. If one “line” of dialogue is more than one or two sentences long, the character will probably come across as if they’re delivering a monologue, not having a conversation. Break up longer lines of dialogue and include a bit of back-and-forth to keep the conversation flowing.

If a character is talking for a long time, spread the dialogue up across multiple screenshots. This is a personal preference thing, but if I’ve got a character who is talking for an extended period of time, I like to break the dialogue up across multiple screenshots. A screenshot with 4 lines of text is visually cluttered and makes it seem like the character is saying the whole thing in one breath. The same four lines of text distributed across 2-3 screenshots is visually neater and has a greater sense of pacing and rhythm.

Real speech is unpolished… There’s a joke among journalists that you can make anyone seem stupid by quoting them verbatim. In ordinary conversation, people often pause for thought, use filler words, and talk over one another. In my writing, I make heavy use of ellipses and em-dashes to try to give a sense of how the character is speaking, in addition to what they’re saying (perhaps I overuse them…) If you’re trying to represent ordinary conversations between ordinary people, including those kinds of verbal errors can bring a lot of life to your dialogue.

…but don’t strive for realism (strive for verisimilitude instead). Actual, real-life conversations are almost unlistenable (said the guy currently listening to a podcast). In real life, people often repeat themselves, interrupt one another, say the same things over and over, go on tangents, and say the same things multiple times in a redundant fashion. If you include too many of those kinds of markers in your written dialogue, your story can quickly become unreadable, even if it reflects a “realistic” manner of speech. In general, your dialogue doesn’t need to be realistic, it needs to feel real. (Verisimilitude basically means a sense of truthfulness [as opposed to realism] in fiction.)

People rarely address each other by name... This might be a unique-to-me issue, but when I reread my old writing, something that jumps out to me is how often I have characters use one another’s names in casual conversation. In real life, people very rarely use titles and names except in greetings and introductions. In general, if you have characters heavily using names mid-conversation, you should go back and eliminate a few.

...with some exceptions! In formal and workplace settings, using someone’s name or title is a verbal marker of respect. Characters in settings with formal hierarchies (militarizes, royal families) will be likelier to use titles and honorifics. Using a person’s name can also be a way to emphasize your point or express sincerity. You might also need to incorporate an occasional name or title in a heavy-handed way in order to deliver exposition or remind readers of the relationship between two characters. For example, I’ve got an upcoming scene where I have a character address their cousin as ‘Cousin’ in a very stilted way. I hate that it’s clunky, but I decided it was necessary because I thought readers would need the reminder that those two characters are related.

Conversations should build to something. In a back-and-forth, each new line of dialogue should move the conversation forward. Imagine this back-and-forth:    A: How are you doing?    B: Terrible! my car broke down.    A: It broke down? But you just took it to the shop!    B: I know, the mechanic lied to me about the repairs! The last line in that conversation has nothing to do with the first line in that conversation. If B had responded to A’s greeting by saying “the mechanic lied to me!” they’d seem slightly unhinged -- it’s an abrupt change of topic, but just two additional lines give it context and make it flow. When you’re writing these kinds of exchanges, you want to make sure that one character’s line makes sense as a response. If A had said “It’s good to see you!” instead of “How are you doing?” B’s reply would feel jarring, and you’d need to find a different way for them to introduce the subject of the broken-down car into the conversation.

I love to write guides. I should do that more, lmao.

[canichangemyblogname]

I watched all eight episodes of season 1 of Blue Eye Samurai over the weekend. I then went browsing because I wanted to read some online reviews of the show to see what people were thinking of it and also because I wanted to interact with gifs and art, as the series is visually stunning.

Yet, in my search for opinions on the show, I came across several points I'd like to address in my own words:

Mizu’s history and identity are revealed piece-by-piece and the “peaches” scene with Mizu and Ringo at the lake is intended to be a major character reveal. I think it’s weird that some viewers got angry over other viewers intentionally not gendering Mizu until that reveal, rather than immediately jumping to gender the character as the other characters in the show do. The creators intentionally left Mizu’s gender and sexuality ambiguous (and quite literally wrote in lines to lead audiences to question both) to challenge the viewer’s gut assumption that this lone wolf samurai is a man. That intentional ambiguity will lead to wide and ambiguous interpretations of where Mizu fits in, if Mizu fits in at all. But don't just take my word for this:

Re: above. I also think it’s weird that some viewers got upset over other viewers continuing to acknowledge that Mizu has a very complicated relationship with her gender, even after that reveal. Canonically, she has a very complicated relationship with her identity. The character is intended to represent liminality in identity, where she’s often between identities in a world of forced binaries that aren’t (widely) socially recognized as binaries. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:

Mizu is both white and Japanese, but she is also not white and not Japanese simultaneously (too white to be Japanese and too Japanese to be white). She’s a woman and a man. She’s a man who’s a woman. She’s also a woman who’s not a woman (yet also not quite a man). But she’s also a woman; the creators said so. Mizu was raised as a boy and grew into a man, yet she was born a girl, and boyhood was imposed upon her. She’s a woman when she’s a man, a man when she’s a man, and a woman when she’s a woman.

Additionally, Mizu straddles the line between human and demon. She’s a human in the sense she’s mortal but a demon in the sense she’s not. She's human yet otherworldly. She's fallible yet greatness. She's both the ronin and the bride, the samurai and the onryō. In short, it’s complicated, and that’s the point. Ignoring that ignores a large part of her internal character struggle and development.

Mizu is intended to represent an “other,” someone who stands outside her society in every way and goes to lengths to hide this “otherness” to get by. Gender is a mask; a tool. She either hides behind a wide-brimmed hat, glasses, and laconic anger, or she hides behind makeup, her dress, and a frown. She fits in nowhere, no matter the identity she assumes. Mizu lives in a very different time period within a very different sociocultural & political system where the concept of gender and the language surrounding it is unlike what we are familiar with in our every-day lives. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:

It’s also weird that some viewers have gotten upset over the fact women and queer people (and especially queer women) see themselves in Mizu. Given her complicated relationship with identity under the patriarchy and colonial violence, I think Mizu is a great character for cis-het women and queer folks alike to relate to. Her character is also great for how she breaks the mold on the role of a biracial character in narratives about identity (she’s not some great bridge who will unite everyone). It does not hurt anyone that gender-fluid and nonbinary people see themselves in Mizu's identity and struggle with identity. It does not hurt anyone that lesbians see themselves in the way Mizu expresses her gender. It does not hurt anyone that trans men see themselves in Mizu's relationship with manhood or that trans women can see themselves in Mizu when Mama forces her to be a boy. It's also really cool that cis-het women see themselves in Mizu's struggles to find herself. Those upset over these things are missing critical aspects of Mizu's character and are no different from the other characters in the story. The only time Mizu is herself is when she’s just Mizu (“…her gender was Mizu”), and many of the other characters are unwilling to accept "just Mizu." Accepting her means accepting the complicatedness of her gender.

Being a woman under the patriarchy is complicated and gives women a complicated relationship with their gender and identity. It is dangerous to be a woman. Women face violence for being women. Being someone who challenges sex-prescribed norms and roles under patriarchy also gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to usurp gender norms and roles (then combine that with being a woman...). People who challenge the strict boxes they're assigned face violence for existing, too. Being a racial or ethnic minority in a racially homogeneous political system additionally gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to be an ethnic minority when the political system is reproduced on your exclusion and otherness. They, too, face violence for the circumstances of their birth. All of these things are true. None of them take away from the other.

Mizu is young-- in her early 20s-- and she has been hurt in deeply affecting ways. She's angry because she's been hurt in so many different ways. She's been hurt by gender violence, like "mama's" misogyny and the situation of her birth (her mother's rape and her near murder as a child), not to mention the violent and dehumanizing treatment of the women around her. She's been hurt by racial violence, like the way she has been tormented and abused since childhood for the way she looks (with people twice trying to kill her for this before adulthood). She's been hurt by state-sanctioned violence as she faces off against the opium, flesh, and black market traders working with white men in contravention of the Shogun's very policies, yet with sanction from the Shogun. She's been hurt by colonial violence, like the circumstances of her birth and the flood of human trafficking and weapons and drug trafficking in her country. She's had men break her bones and knock her down before, but only Fowler sexually differentiated her based on bone density and fracture.

Mizu also straddles the line between victim and murderer.

It seems like Mizu finding her 'feminine' and coming to terms with her 'female side' may be a part of her future character development. Women who feel caged by modern patriarchal systems and alienated from their bodies due to the patriarchy will see themselves in Mizu. They understand a desire for freedom that the narrow archetypes of the patriarchy do not afford them as women, and they see their anger and their desire for freedom in Mizu. This, especially considering that Mizu's development was driven by one of the creators' own experiences with womanhood:

No, Mizu does not pass as a man because she "hates women" or because she hates herself as a woman or being a woman. There are actual on-screen depictions of Mizu's misogyny, like her interactions with Akemi, and dressing like a man is not an instance of this. Mizu shows no discomfort with being a woman or being seen as a woman, especially when she intends to pass herself as and present as a woman. Mizu also shows the women in the series more grace and consideration than any man in the show, in whatever capacity available to her socially and politically, without revealing herself; many of the women have remarked that she is quite unlike other men, and she's okay with that, too.

When she lives on the farm with Mama and Mikio, Mizu shows no discomfort once she acclimates to the new life. But people take this as conclusive evidence of the "only time" she was happy. She was not. This life was also a dance, a performance. The story of her being both the ronin and the onryō revealed to the audience that this lifestyle also requires her to wear a mask and dance, just as the bride does. This mask is makeup, a wedding dress, and submission, and this performance is her gender as a wife. She still understands that she cannot fully be herself and only begins to express happiness and shed her reservation when she believes she is finally safe to be herself. Only to be betrayed. Being a man is her safety, and it is familiar. Being a boy protected her from the white men as a child, and it might protect her heart now.

Mizu shows no discomfort with being known as a woman, except when it potentially threatens her goals (see Ringo and the "peaches" scene). She also shows no discomfort with being known as, seen as, or referred to as a man. As an adult, she seems okay- even familiar- with people assuming she's a man and placing her into the role of a man. Yet, being born a girl who has boyhood violently imposed upon her (she did not choose what mama did to her) is also an incredibly important part of her lived experience. Being forced into boyhood, but growing into a man anyway became part of who she is. But, being a man isn’t just a part of who she became; it’s also expedient for her goals because men and women are ontologically different in her world and the system she lives under.

She's both because she's neither, because- ontologically- she fits nowhere. When other characters point out how "unlike" a man she is, she just shrugs it off, but not in a "well, yeah, because I'm NOT a man" sort of way, but in an "I'm unlike anyone, period," sort of way. She also does not seem offended by Madam Kaji saying that Mizu’s more man than any who have walked through her door.

(Mizu doesn’t even see herself as human, let alone a woman, as so defined by her society. And knowing that creators have stated her future arc is about coming into her “feminine era” or energy, I am actually scared that this show might fall into the trope of “domesticating”/“taming” the independent woman, complete with an allegory that her anger and lack of human-ness [in Mizu’s mind] is a result of a woman having too much “masculine energy” or being masculine in contravention of womanness.)

Some also seem to forget that once Mama and Mikio are dead, no one knows who she is or where she came from. They do not have her background, and they do not know about the bounty on her (who levied the bounty and why has not yet been explained). After their deaths, she could have gone free and started anew somehow. But in that moment, she chose to go back to life as a man and chose to pursue revenge for the circumstances of her birth. Going forward, this identity is no longer imposed upon her by Mama, or a result of erroneous conclusions from local kids and Master Eiji; it was because she wanted people to see her as a man and she was familiar with navigating her world, and thus her future, as a man. And it was because she was angry, too, and only men can act on their anger.

I do think it important to note that Mizu really began to allow herself to be vulnerable and open as a woman, until she was betrayed. The question I've been rattling around is: is this because she began to feel safe for the first time in her life, or is this part of how she sees women ontologically? Because she immediately returns to being a man and emotionally hard following her betrayal. But, she does seem willing to confide in Master Eiji, seek his advice, and convey her anxieties to him.

Being a man also confines Mizu to strict social boxes, and passing herself as a man is also dangerous.

Mizu doesn't suddenly get to do everything and anything she wants because she passes as a man. She has to consider her safety and the danger of her sex being "found out." She must also consider what will draw unnecessary attention to her and distract her from her goals. Many viewers, for example, were indignant that she did not offer to chaperone the mother and daughter and, instead, left them to the cold, only to drop some money at their feet later. The indignity fails consider that while she could bribe herself inside while passing as a man, she could not bribe in two strangers. Mizu is a strange man to that woman and does not necessarily have the social position to advocate for the mother and daughter. She also must consider that causing small social stirs would distract from her goals and draw certain attention to her. Mizu is also on a dangerous and violent quest.

Edo Japan was governed by strict class, age, and gender rules. Those rules applied to men as well as women. Mizu is still expected to act within these strict rules when she's a man. Being a man might allow her to pursue revenge, but she's still expected to put herself forward as a man, and that means following all the specific rules that apply to her class as a samurai, an artisan (or artist), and a man. That wide-brimmed hat, those orange-tinted glasses, and her laconic tendencies are also part of a performance. Being a boy is the first mask she wore and dance she performed, and she was originally (and tragically) forced into it.

Challenging the normative identities of her society does not guarantee her safety. She has limitations because of her "otherness," and the transgression of sex-prescribed roles has often landed people in hot water as opposed to saving them from boiling. Mizu is passing herself off as a man every day of her life at great risk to her. If her sex is "found out" on a larger scale, society won’t resort to or just start treating her as a woman. There are far worse fates than being perceived as a woman, and hers would not simply be a tsk-tsk, slap on the wrist; now you have to wear makeup. Let's not treat being a woman-- even with all the pressures, standards, fears, and risks that come with existing as a woman-- as the worst consequence for being ‘found out’ for transgressing normative identity.

The violence Mizu would face upon being "found out" won’t only be a consequence of being a "girl." Consider not just the fact she is female and “cross-dressing” (outside of theater), but also that she is a racial minority.

I also feel like many cis-het people either ignore or just cannot see the queerness in challenging gender roles (and thus also in stories that revolve around a subversion of sex-prescribed gender). They may not know how queerness-- or "otherness"-- leads to challenging strict social stratifications and binaries nor how challenging them is seen by the larger society as queer ("strange," "suspicious," "unconventional," even "dishonorable," and "fraudulent"), even when "queerness" (as in LGBTQ+) was not yet a concept as we understand it today.

Gender and sexuality- and the language we use to communicate who we are- varies greatly across time and culture. Edo Japan was governed by strict rules on what hairstyles, clothes, and weapons could be worn by which gender, age, and social group, and this was often enshrined in law. There were specific rules about who could have sex with whom and how. These values and rules were distinctly Japanese and would not incorporate Western influences until the late 1800s. Class was one of the most consequential features to define a person's fate in feudal Japan, and gender was quite stratified. This does not mean it's inappropriate for genderqueer people to see themselves in Mizu, nor does this mean that gender-variant identities didn’t exist in Edo Japan.

People in the past did not use the same language we do today to refer to themselves. Example: Alexander The Great did not call himself a "bisexual." We all understand this. However, there is a very weird trend of people using these differences in language and cultures across time to deny aspects of a historical person's life that societies today consider taboo, whether these aspects were considered taboo during that historical time period or not. Same example: people on Twitter complaining that Netflix "made" Alexander The Great "gay," and after people push back and point out that the man did, in fact, love and fuck men, hitting back with "homosexuality wasn't even a word back then" or "modern identity didn't exist back then." Sure, that word did not exist in 300s BCE Macedonia, but that doesn't mean the man didn't love men, nor does that mean that we can't recognize that he'd be considered "queer" by today's standards and language.

Genderqueer, as a word and as the concept is understood today, did not exist in feudal Japan, but the people did and feudal Japan had its own terms and concepts that referred to gender variance. But while the show takes place in Edo Japan, it is a modern adult animation series made by a French studio and two Americans (nationality). Mizu is additionally a fictional character, not a historical figure. She was not created in a vacuum. She was created in the 21st century and co-written by a man who got his start writing for Sex in the City and hails from a country that is in the midst of a giant moral panic about genderqueer/gender-variant people and gender non-conforming people.

This series was created by two Americans (nationality) for an American company. In some parts of that country, there are laws on the book strictly defining the bounds of men and women and dictating what clothes men and women could be prosecuted for wearing. Changes in language and identity over time mean that we can recognize that if Mizu lived in modern Texas, the law would consider her a drag performer, and modern political movements in the show creators' home country would include her under the queer umbrella.

So, yeah, there will also be genderqueer people who see themselves in Mizu, and there will be genderqueer fans who are firm about Mizu being queer to them and in their “headcanons.” The scene setting being Edo Japan, does not negate the modern ideas that influence the show. "Nonbinary didn't exist in Edo Japan" completely ignores that this show was created to explore the liminality of modern racial, gender, class, and normative identities. One of the creators was literally inspired by her own relationship with her biracial identity.

Ultimately, the fact Mizu, at this point in her journey, chooses to present and pass as a man and the fact her presented gender affects relationship dynamics with other characters (see: Taigen) gives this story a queer undertone. And this may have been largely unintentional: "She’s a girl, and he’s a guy, so, of course, they get together," < ignoring how said guy thinks she’s a guy and that she intentionally passes herself as a guy. Audiences ARE going to interpret this as queer because WE don’t live in Edo-era Japan. And I feel like people forget that Mizu can be a woman and the story can still have queer undertones to it at the same time.

[barbwritesstuff]

Around the language of fatness, I’m a different anon from the original asker but I wanted to try and offer an additional perspective on the discussion. I super don’t mean this to be a criticism or condemnation of you as an individual or as a writer, but I know that this is a conversation that can be difficult to break into for a lot of people if they’ve not experienced fatphobia personally or talked to fat people they know about it. This results in thin people in particular experiencing so much discomfort and anxiety when talking about fat bodies (because the word “fat” is so heavily stigmatized and is used derogatorily extremely frequently). I was a fat kid who became a fat teen and am now a fat adult, so I’ve spent my entire life listening to incredibly well-intentioned and well-meaning thin people (and some fat people as well, especially if they struggle with body positivity or body neutrality in their own lives) try to describe my body without calling it fat, from curvy to large to plus-size to chubby to plush and on and on. And it comes from a place of love due to the fact that the word “fat” is so often only ever interpreted as an insult and they don’t want to insult you (see the ever-classic “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”that every fat woman probably ever has heard from a loved one at least once). And this approach isn’t without merit: people are fat in different ways. Some people are fatter than others, some people have their fat distributed in different ways (ex. Shawnie is fat and curvy, which is different from how Sergi (who I believe is described in Blood Moon as “stocky” and compared to a lumberjack, which I’ve always interpreted to mean “fat and kind of barrel-chested” or kind of like those guys who compete in the Highland Games). It’s not wrong to want or use these descriptors for fat people.

I just think that it’s worth putting out there that it’s okay to describe characters as “fat” and that some fat readers may even prefer it. In my experience, there’s a kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly having to listen to thin people dance around talking about my body or bodies like mine when I know that I’m fat and I live in a world that never lets me forget that I’m fat. And I know that, at least for myself, it can be very validating (and almost healing sometimes) to hear the word “fat” being used to describe me instead of being used against me.

I don’t mean to say all this to try and target you or change the way that you write or anything like that. I’ve just always really admired how open you are about admitting you don’t know something (because we all have things we don’t know) and learning about different perspectives and how willing you are to incorporate feedback you’ve gotten from fans into your games. I don’t mean to speak for all fat people either as we’re not monolithic and don’t all share the same experiences or opinions. I was just hoping to maybe share a perspective you might not have gotten or seen before. Love the game and you’re doing amazing!! 💕

Thank you! I really do appreciate this sort of feedback. I honestly haven't thought about it enough and am really glad this has been brought to my attention. I thought I was being inclusive.

I described Shawnie as short and curvy. I described Sergi as stocky and broad. I described Freya as stocky and soft. These descriptions obviously weren't enough, and knowing that, I can now make them better.

Compounding to this, I'm really not very good at creating visual aids. It's hard to find good stock photos, and often I pick ones which don't 100% match characters. I tried making mood boards for Blood Moon but it was way too much work and was stressing me out. So, the misunderstanding could've come from that too.

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

When Hollywood erases Jews, also known as modern day “acceptable” antisemitism

Let’s start with some definitions.

Jews - Jewish people, either through religion and/or ethnicity. The reason for the “or” is because many Jews don’t practice Judaism, but they are still 100% as Jewish. And depending on who you ask (2 Jews 3 opinions), when a person converts in they join the tribe and become (for all intents and purposes) ethnically Jewish as well (their kids are ethnically Jewish). All that to say— Being Jewish does not automatically mean a purely religious affiliation.

Antisemitism - Jew hate. There is no hyphen in the word. It does not mean hate against other semantic people, because there are only semantic languages, not groups. This term was coined by the Nazis to make hating Jews sound fancy. If a Jew tells you something is antisemitic, believe them.

“Acceptable” - In this context, this means socially and culturally acceptable. Something that the wider world just goes with and accepts as normalized and just how things are. It doesn’t mean it is right or okay, it purely just means that it is what is accepted by mass amounts of people.

Now, let’s discuss what we know about Jewish actors on TV or in movies.

From the earliest eras of Hollywood, Jews were around. They were founding companies, writing songs, writing scripts, and if they could— acting.

Jewish actors of the time (and into present day) would more often than not have to change their names in order to not reveal their Jewishness. Let me repeat that— Jews were running some studios, but yet Jewish actors still had to pretend to not be Jewish in order to appeal to the audiences. So they did. And they do.

Long before Hollywood’s time, and stretching as far back as ancient theatre and even Shakespearean theatre, Jewish characters were played by someone “dressed Jewish.” Meaning large hooked nose pieces, sleazy clothing, basically the visual representation of antisemitic tropes. This was the Jewish representation happening for centuries. Pure hate live on stage. This happened with minstrel shows for Black characters and Asian characters too. Basically if you weren’t white, you were a stereotype.

This is still true today.

Look at any show/film that has Jewish characters in them. Here’s just a few.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

The Goldbergs

Hollywood

Moon Knight

The Simpsons

New Girl

Transparent

Shiva Baby

These shows all contain stereotypes against Jews, use Jews are the punchline for jokes, only have Jewish characters for jokes, or just don’t include Jewish actors to even play those Jewish roles.

There’s a few things about this:

The Hollywood industry believes Jews only exist when they want them too. Such as for villain, victim, or vaudeville reasons. Example: The evil character is Jewish (that new teen movie I can’t remember the name of where the boy wears a Star of David and is the villain), the victim (every WW2 movie ever), the vaudeville clown (every time there’s a joke about the noses, the banks, the bagels, etc). Jews are so very rarely ever real people.

Not having Jewish actors playing Jewish roles is Jew-face, a term coined by Sarah Silverman. It started out meaning when non-Jewish actors put on a Jewish appearance to play Jewish, but now it just encompasses any non-Jew playing a Jew. Much like how blackface and yellowface and redface are.

Yes. Not casting Jews is a problem. Remember the first definition? It’s an ethnic group. You literally cannot play an ethnicity you are not a part of. It’s literally impossible. An actor cannot change their DNA (see the mention about converts and how they join the tribe therefore are included in any talk of Jewish ethnicity).

I repeat. An actor cannot play an ethnicity they are not. It is impossible. Any actor playing Jewish while not being Jewish themselves is literally erasing a minority ethnicity from the screen. That’s just a fact. Same way it would be if they cast a white actor to play hispanic or asian.

What actors who are cast in roles that are of a differing ethnicity to them do, is they (at the fault of the production) put on stereotypes to represent that ethnicity, because they want to show that this character is a certain way, but can’t do so because the actor is not. And we’re back at the ancient theatre history with actors in prosthetic noses begging for their pound of flesh.

And why is this acceptable to audiences?

Jews are a minority. Like .2% global, minority. There are about 24x as many people following Kim K on Instagram than there are Jews in the world. More people follow antisemites than there are Jews being recorded on census.

Since there are so few Jews in the world at all, people don’t realize that Jewish representation is lacking. Because it’s always lacking. You don’t see what’s not there, and then when there’s non-Jews playing Jews on TV or in movies, it just seems normal.

Most non-Jews (Christians) only view Jews as religion based followers, since that is what they know of their own religions. They are either religious or they have no religious affliction and therefore their ethnicity is wherever they or their parents are from. Their culture is (in the West) Christian-centric even if removed from religion. While Jews, even if not religious, are still Jewish.

So not having real Jews on screen erases an entire ethnic and religious group. But people are okay with it, because they don’t realize what is happening.

There are few explicitly Jewish characters at all, and yet of those roles, less than a quarter of them are played by actual Jewish actors. Of the shows listed above, less than a quarter are Jewish. In the larger Jewish cast shows there are an average of 2 Jewish actors per 10 Jewish characters. Otherwise there are no Jews portraying themselves.

Imagine if this were any other ethnicity. Can you imagine the outcry? Hollywood did. That’s why ScarJo is no longer playing Asian roles, and why they’ve stopped tanning white actors for West Side Story. Yet not even a month ago they announced that Daisy Edgar-Jones (not-Jewish) would be playing Carole King (very Jewish) in her biopic. Where is the outcry from the non-Jews?

I often think about this moment from Hollywood. Patti LuPone portraying Avis (a Jewish Hollywood icon who is fictional but based on real people). Patti, Italian like many famous Jew-face actors are, says this:

Ironic, huh? “Nobody thought a Jewish girl could be a movie star. Nobody thought they were pretty” said by a non-Jewish actress, playing a Jewish role. Seems some people still don’t think Jewish girls could be movie stars.

So again I ask, why is Jew-erasure in the form of not casting Jews as Jews acceptable in society? Why is this form of antisemitism okay?

Because it’s all we’ve known. Because people don’t consider Jews a minority ethnicity the same way they do other groups. Because there are too few Jews to complain about it. Because contrary to belief, Jews don’t run Hollywood. Because nobody thinks Jewish girls are pretty. Because Jews can only serve a Jewish plot, and if a character doesn’t have to be Jewish, it’s erased.

Canon and non-fictional Jews can’t just be erased when you want them to be if it doesn’t fit with your ideas.

Jew-erasure is Jew-hate is antisemitism.

Erasing Jewishness from the screen is erasure. Is hatred. Is antisemitism.

Many just are so used to it, that it doesn’t raise any hairs. But reminder, blackface was common into the 50s and is a disgusting practice. Them taping the corner of actor’s eyes to play Asian, or tanning them to play indigenous, used to be common too. But not anymore. Things change, rightfully so. So why can’t it change for Jews too?

As always, ask questions if you have any. I’m planning on doing another post about this with some additional thoughts at a later date, but my computer is dead so figured I’d get some out now.

Here’s a list of shows with good Jewish rep:

Schitts Creek (Kids are both half-Jewish, Johnny is Sephardic). Made and stars Jewish actors (Eugene and Dan and Sarah, since they explicitly have the characters as both Jewish and Christian I’m giving them a break with Annie). They are normal people doing normal Schitts Creek thangs.

House. Stars Lisa Edelstein as Jewish Lisa Cuddy. There’s only episode that really digs into her being Jewish when it talks about her mom converting to Judaism, but it’s not handled badly. Lisa is just a regular person, her Jewishness is never outwardly a focus, but you know it’s there.

9-1-1 Lone Star. Ronen Rubinstein and Lisa Edelstein. Ronen as TK, Lisa as his mom. In season 1, TK wasn’t explicitly any religion/known ethnicity. But when Lisa was introduced, she came in as a Jewish character and so TK became one too. It was never heavy handed and only really came up a handful of times. All pretty tasteful. Both Ronen and Lisa are Jewish.

Okay nobody is reading this any longer so that’s it for now. Bye!

[morievna]

Why Port Mafia will stay as vampires

Hello~~

This time I wanted to broach something different^^

I usually like to check fandom opinions when new chapter drops and there was something that really puzzled me – that lot of fans thinks that vampirism needs to healed and like it is the worst thing that happened to our characters.

I mean I understand feeling protective about characters – ofc, it is bad to lose free will, but from story perspective it is just another trial to test our heroes and help them grow. They will be fine, don’t worry^^

But still, no matter how this arc will conclude I think that PM will stay as vampires and here are my reasons:

PM is coded similarly as vampires from very beginning

You know the basic – both vampires and PM are strongly associated with night and death.

As part of Tripartite Tactic PM stands for night. Moreover, through the story PM is compared to night very often -  maybe even almost enough for drinking game xD

“The merciless tyrant of the night and his army of the death – that was what people called Port Mafia”

“It’s time to remind our enemies why we used to be called the terror of the night”

– both from Fifteen

“Mafia takes their role as ‘Wardens of the night’ seriously” – Dazai about PM in ch 46

“Whatever pride they have in their speed, they can’t run from ‘the night’ forever” – Mori in ch 46

There is probably more, but you know the drill.

As for death – mafia rules through power dominance and killing is not a problem to anybody from that group.It is just the way they works.

And visually too – i mean, just look:

Especially in anime, they gave him so much vampire lord aura xD In manga too, his ‘doctor’ attire is just an act and his true self is PM leader in that fitting clothing - black trench coat, red scarf and white gloves – which all are very vampire style. Through this perspective even Elise can be interpreted that way – immortal being in a form of young girl – just like Claudia from Interview with the Vampire.

Speaking of that novel  - you know there is also insanely powerful redhead with bad temper xD Though it can be just coincidence as personality-wise Armand and Chuuya are very different and have rather opposite morals xD

Let’s move to Aku:

Whole Akutagawa appearance is much reminiscent of vampire – pale complexion, black coat with white jabot - really give that feel. Also Akutagawa uses a bit of archaic language, which is something often appearing in vampire stories too.

Frankly, imo from the start Asagiri thought of Akutagawa (and maybe whole PM) eventually becoming vampire – after all, our MC Atsushi is were-tiger (as a spin on werewolf) and in pop-culture natural opposite of werewolves are vampires just like Atsushi-Aku are.

Vampire healing as power-up

If you look at it practically – vampire healing can actually be really useful for main PM characters:

Chuuya – healing will help a lot sustaining wounds during Corruption (I am 80% sure we will going to see it in next chapters) and maybe even vampire mind control will help with controlling Arahabaki

Akutagawa – healing as bypassing his incurable illness. Just honestly, I would be very surprised if Asagiri intends Aku to stay dead for good – he is just too important to Atsushi and Dazai character arc

Tachihara – as Hunted dog he needs monthly check-ups to not die. Healing would render that not needed if Asagiri intends for him to stay in PM, which is most likely as he is ‘true mafioso’ at heart

Even for rest of PM like Higuchi, Gin – healing would be strong asset as well.

To sum it up, it is just too good opportunity on too many levels to let it slip

Vampirism and abilities are not bad

It is important to look at it from thematic perspective – abilities are not villains of the story but the people who use them in wrong way.

Vampirism is not the main problem to our protagonist, but the fact that Fukuchi and Fyodor use such methods (vampirism, one order), which robs people of their free will to achieve what they want. Even if their goal is not necessarily malevolent in its nature – still it is very ‘the end justifies the means’ approach which is morally bad one.

Especially it is important that source of vampirism – Bram is just being used by DoA and he personally doesn’t want to create any fledglings. But again, because Fukuchi controls him via sword – he had no choice but to spread the infection or die. 

My guess is that we will see Atsushi running into Aya and Bram in next chapters and that after internal struggle he will realize that killing Bram is not a option - that ADA goal should be to free all vampires from mind control. Even it could go how usually vampire stories go – that vampirism as skill will be transferred to someone from PM (probably Mori or Aku, though it can be also Fyodor), who will switch off mind control.

And this would grant happy ending for Bram too – starting to live as normal human - pretty please, poor man has been through a lot T_T

Ofc it is just my theory and story can go other way – but still it makes more sense to me than simply healing everybody from vampirism and returning to status-quo. But we will see~~

Thanks for reading and have a nice day💖 💖 💖

[imeanwhynotbruv]

The Lothbrok wildlings

Vikings and Wolves

<my game of thrones / Vikings crossover Fic on ao3>

Decided to do a bit of a visual thing to see what the family look like in the early chapters, so I found pictures as close to the age of the characters in the Fic, tho some are different.

• • •

Fic ages (beginning)

Bjorn : 14

Ubbe : 10

Hvitserk : 8

Sigurd : 7

Ivar : 6

(Were adapted to fit the story)

• • •

Most of the clothes fit pretty well, tho because they’ve just crossed the wall they’d all still be in their fur coats & their hair styles would be a bit different ( Eg Lagertha would put up Sigurd and Ivar’s hair in something simple)

• • •

I’ve taken some liberties with how they interact with each other to make them a close family unit,

like now Sigurd and Ivar actually like each other, but still bicker.

Ivar is still ruthless and dangerous, but in a slightly more controlled way? If that makes sense?

Without giving away too much, Sigurd and Ivar are totally mamas boys with Lagertha

Ubbe follows Bjorn like a duckling and Bjorn actually likes it (tho he’ll still mess around and act grumpy cuz he’s a kid)

Hvitserk tends to swap what parent he’s following but does go with Ragnar more often.

Hvitserk is a scared little kid a lot but also doesn’t have a filter, he’s just one of those brutally honest children (he still become a viscous warrior when he grows up)

Bjorn is insanely protective of his younger brothers, living over the wall was never easy and he wants to keep the safe, especially after Gyda died

Lothbrok wildings

Slight differences between the Vikings and the wildlings

They are technically a type of wildling as that’s what anyone beyond the wall would call them, but to other wildlings and to themselves they are considered Vikings

They still have the same beliefs as Vikings

The Vikings are still dangerous warriors who (because of multiple generations) have adapted to be able to withstand the cold better than others

The Vikings live in Kattegat and are almost entirely self sufficient, but they do interact with other wildlings for trading purposes

Vikings don’t trust Crows and have only had very few interactions that didn’t end in death

The Vikings still speak Norse as there used to be more of them, but over time they spread out and joined other clans, so it’s only the true Vikings (like the lothbroks) that speak Norse as their first language and lots of the other wildling languages second, few of them speak common tongue like Ragnar who learned it when he was younger

That’s about it for now 😅 because I don’t want to accidentally give things away, but yeah now you get get a better idea of what the boys look like.

[stereopticons]

fic writer interview

thanks for the tag, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

84!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

337,560

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the lie between your teeth [david/patrick, M, 48k]

if i'm not beyond repair [david/patrick, M, 8k]

never knew a home until i found your hands [firstprince, E, 1.1k]

love you in moderation (do i look moderate to you?) [david/patrick, E, 7.2k]

so bitter and so sweet [david/patrick, E, 26k]

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, eventually! It takes me a while and I feel bad about that but I promise I will get to them eventually. Even if I haven't responded though, I appreciate every single one of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think it has to be (we'll always long for) one more song on account of the whole MCD thing 😅 (but they lived a long happy life, I swear!)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most of them have happy endings, I think, but if I had to pick one, I guess it would be the lie between your teeth, maybe because of all the angst it took to get there lol

7. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one (and half of the sequel) and started another!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah. If people could not do that, that would be super.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lol it's very funny that I did not used to write smut at all and now I've been told that my brand is filth and feelings. So yeah. I do write smut and it does tend toward the kinky side of things, but it always has a whole lot of feelings and love and tenderness behind it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a whole fic, no.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be so cool!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! (B)13 Reasons Why with @blackandwhiteandrose and parallax with @indestructibleheart

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

David/Patrick, my beloveds.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The thing about me is that I am extremely stubborn and unwilling to admit that there are things that I'm not going to finish even though the likelihood of me finishing everything in my WIP folder is...basically zero.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at getting inside characters' heads and portraying their emotions. I am also pretty good at weaving bits of canon in to my own story.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions of the way things look. I don't visualize things when I read (i.e., if I read the word apple, I don't see an apple or even the word apple, it's just like, yes, I am familiar with the concept of the apple) so I often struggle with those kinds of physical descriptions. Also, fuckin' dialogue tags.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm not opposed to it if it fits the story and the character but would want to confirm with a native speaker first.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Rent.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I have not written June/Nora yet but I wanna.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How am I supposed to pick??? I've got 84 fics and I'm bisexual, and you want me to pick a favorite?? here's five that I like today because that's the best I can do:

come on, get higher, loosen my lips [firstprince, M, 2.5k]

if i'm not beyond repair [david/patrick, M, 8k]

coming home to you [gen, T, 2.2k]

with a hand on your side of the bed [david/patrick, T, 2.3k]

tangle and stretch [david/patrick, T, 3.3k]

Tagging @hippolotamus @blackandwhiteandrose @kiwiana-writes @indestructibleheart @alienajackson @jettestar @mostlyinthemorning @dinnfameron @vanillahigh00 @lizzie-bennetdarcy @smblmn and anyone else who wants to play

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

I want to know :3

:D

My favorite poem is Antigonish by Hughes Mearns! It’s featured in the Magnus Archives and it is lodged in my brain forever. I’ll probably make it its own dedicated post but it talks about a man who isn’t there, with the writer wishing that the man who isn’t there would go away. It’s a lovely little poem and especially as someone whose psychosis manifests primarily as delusions, I simply Vibe with a poem about something you know isn’t there but terrorizes you anyways.

And yeah! I have taste -> color synesthesia!! For the first 10 or so years of my life I thought you could teach colors to (color)blind people using foods. It’s kind of a weird thing to try and talk about because really the main way I know that my experience of the world is different from most people’s is that language just not built for the way I experience taste. I’ve thought of trying to do some sort of art based on my synesthesia but ive never been able to figure out exactly how since it’s really difficult for me to separate taste and the colors. I also experience ‘shrimp colors’ that don’t exist in a way humans can visually experience. Like orange and green at the same time, but not grey or speckled; the color simply does not exist.

There’s also almost no correlation between visualcolors and tastecolors. Por ejemplo, carrots (orange food) taste like a desaturated forest green. The only real trends are that the more artificial a food is, the more likely it is to match color wise; and that water will lighten and desaturate things.

Also it’s difficult for me to sort of quantify since I have no other frame of reference, but it does have a lot of effects on my life. Since color tends to overwhelm any ‘normal taste’, that’s what most of my favorite (and least favorite) foods are based on. I dislike carrots because it’s unpredictable whether they’re green or brown and I don’t like that neither of those are orange. My two favorite foods are grape koolaid (it’s so purple and I like purple; I also never water it down because then it’s Purple and I can also taste sour) and salt & vinegar chips (the vinegar covers any colors).

Water is always white or a very very light grey. This does affect what water I will drink because I avoid drinking water that’s sort of tinted warm colors. Doesn’t vibe right.

And the way I describe foods is almost always color based, since that’s the main way I experience it. This has deeply confused and mildly frustrated anyone trying to learn anything applicable to their own experience of food. I have no idea what other people taste, especially since colors tend to overshadow anything else. I’m pretty sure I experience spiciness and saltiness normally though.

And as mentioned earlier, it seriously impacts my sensory issues. Tastes are doubled (I guess?) and any after taste lingers for ages. If the water im drinking is significantly tinted it builds up in my mouth and is Bad (I had to pause writing this to refill my water bottle with my house filtered water instead of the water fountain from my school since that water is reddish and my water is only very faintly teal). Also since all taste is doubled-ish I am basically always aware of the fact that my mouth has a taste and a color. Which kinda sucks.

Also I think this is an adhd thing but I have a hard time describing colors unless I’m actively tasting something because I have a word based brain and the colors are something that completely upends the English language’s way of describing the senses. That’s sort of why I always describe it as being a one way link and say “taste to color synesthesia” rather than “taste color synesthesia”, because I don’t taste anything when I see colors, I just experience colors when I taste something. I think if it went both ways I would be a very different person and would likely have meltdowns much more often but that’s pure speculation.

I thiiiink that’s everything I can think of right now, but yeah! Synesthesia! I think I heard the word about four-ish years ago now and literally nothing has clicked for me faster than that did. It took me less time to start identifying with synesthesia than it did for me to identify with any lgbtq+ label. Every time I think about the fact that ‘tasting colors’ is something that people say to mean they’re loopy or high or something and not that they can literally taste colors I have to do a double take. It’s such a seemingly tiny little thing but it’s so fundamental to my experience of the world that I cannot even imagine anything different. What does koolaid taste like if not Color? I don’t know, because all I can taste is Color.

[funkymbtifiction]

5 compartmentalization

Shared/Written by Tom Condon:

A bit more about a Five’s defenses:

Fives defend themselves by compartmentalizing – keeping the different parts of their experience discreetly grouped into separate categories. It’s like having an inner library where you classify your feelings, relationships and reactions and store them on different shelves. Fives keep their experience partitioned in order to feel both safe and in control.

A Five who joked that she has “successfully avoided therapy,” says that she visualizes her overbearing mother trapped in a black metal box. She explains that her mother “in quantum theory terms, is both dead and alive at the same time – as long as the box is closed. And I have no desire to open it but occasionally she pops out of the box and I have to stuff her back in. The day she pops out and I can't stuff her back in, that's the day I'll seek therapy.”

Asked how he handled the stress inherent in devising new ways for people to kill each other, a Five designer of high-tech weapons replied that he never considered his job in those terms. He simply focused on and enjoyed the technical challenge that each new device presented, never thinking beyond that. Another Five, a robotics engineer, adds: “I know I’m creating something that will one day take over and kill my grandchildren. But it’s just so cool.”

An American Five who speaks fluent Japanese and writes poetry in both English and Japanese says that the key to his poetic ability comes from being outside of both languages: “There are two huge rooms in my head, the Japanese room and the English room. In the hallway connecting them I discovered another space filled with just ‘stuff’ and ‘things.’ It’s a room without language.”

Some Fives compartmentalize by role-playing: “I put on a costume and play a role for my domineering mother. As long as I don’t have to see her very often it’s ok.” Another Five, a singer-songwriter, sends “the part of me that has stage fright over to the side of the stage. Then I sing from the part of me who’s a real ham.”

Another way that Fives compartmentalize is by contextualizing – by thinking so relatively about situations and events that holding a firm position becomes impossible. While Fives can be non-judgmental and tolerant of ambiguity, they may also use this as a defense, for example, by rationalizing away their feelings to avoid taking action. A Five who decided to go into business with a violent, unhealthy Eight was repeatedly warned about the Eight’s aggressive character. The Five’s consistent reply was, “He may be violent sometimes but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person.” The Five later regretted the decision and spent large sums of money extricating himself from the business partnership.

As is true for other Enneagram styles, a Five’s personality defenses can also function as a resource. Compartmentalizing helps Fives integrate what they learn. As one Five says, “Sometimes new information comes in fast, but eventually I sort it out. It’s confusing for a while but I like to organize it. When I finally get the information into categories then it doesn’t overwhelm me.”