#the language is very visual in a way I don’t see often

[panthermouthh]

Where Johnny goes, the Devil follows; where Johnny goes, the Devil is already there.

Based on "A cornstalk fiddle" by the incredible @notbecauseofvictories

Finally finished this comic after months of zero progress. I adore this story and think about it often, and am so happy to finally be able to share this fan work with you. I hope you all enjoy!

[iwtv-theories]

Iwtv S2e5: The theme of “being in love with death.” (Analysis)

Tw for mentions of su*cide and brief references of Armand’s Childhood tra*ma.

There’s one theme in ep 5 that connects all 3 characters (Armand, Daniel, and Louis) together. That theme is how all 3 of them are “half in love with… death.”

We have Louis in episode 5 purposely throw himself into the sun to end his own life . This act is partially caused by his guilt of not being able to save his family ( Paul & Claudia). Louis hallucinates Claudia “calling” him to the roof . And Louis goes to said roof top when the sun is out . This is a call back to how Paul ended his life on a rooftop during the sun rise. And how Claudia dies by being forced into the sun, so Louis does so voluntarily. Claudia's last words to Louis were "I was nothing but a roof shingle that fell off of your house” (echoing paul's self exit as well). Louis says about paul's death: "that was the last sunrise I ever saw. Perhaps the kindest thing the dark gift has given me. I don't miss the sun. The reminders it carries." The sun symbolizes the su*cide of Paul, the death of Claudia, and his own temptation to follow in his brother's footsteps. We also have Louis choose to end his mortal life the night of Paul’s funeral. Where he says he ‘wanted to die’ before Lestat shows up to the church and turns him. Armand telling Daniel "I've been calling you for some time", is also similar to Claudia "calling" Louis to the roof. It's symbolic of how Louis has had these thoughts since s1 . The temptation of death has been "calling for some time."

The scene of Armand trying to convince Daniel to die in ep 5 is based on a short story by Anne rice. Where he represents a grim reaper of sorts - where they “love him” as a symbol of death . But his words to his victims are also said to “represent his own desires” ( aka Armand’s desire to die). Why he says “WE” all long for the “end”. He’s including himself . Book Armand has also attempted in the past (when the sun could still hurt him). After the attempt he realizes , with annoyance, that he’s too old & Marius’ blood within him is too strong -for the sun to actually k*ll him.

We even see both Armand’s and Daniel’s desire to die visualized by the de@d body between them (as they mirror each other’s body language ) . And the very next line of dialogue is “ I don’t want - to die ?On that matter I know something you don’t .”

Armand while holding the body even tells Daniel “I’ll keep digging (in your mind) but I’m not sure if there’s more to you other than a hole.” Then he leaves to presumably burry the body in a hole in the ground . After this he later describes his second memory (which the book confirms was his first r*pe) . He says “ my second (memory)… an eager black hole.” On one hand he may be describing Daniel’s eagerness for the story but it could also represent Armand wanting to get buried into a hole after that traumatizing experience . People often joke about the possible s*xual innuendo of Armand calling Daniel a “hole”. But if so, the symbolism behind that s*xually coded statement is more bleak than simply that. We also aren’t sure if Daniel had a similarly traumatic experience in his childhood like Armand-it could possibly explain why at 20 he’s already an add*ct , who sells himself, is 1/2 in love with death, and is interested in stories of people who are often discarded by society . Note Louis says his own “first sin” is what made him feel like he’s somewhere “dark.” So when Armand thinks of his “first memory” he thinks of what he incorrectly perceives as his “first sin” -his second memory (which makes him feel like he’s somewhere dark , where he can’t seem to find his way out, like a HOLE).

Falsehoods in his story aside. It’s not a coincidence that Armand in Dubai says to Daniel : “they went mad , ended themselves: The only thing that kept me from the fire were the old (religious) rituals.” Daniel seeing him pray as Rashid (*may hint he still uses religious rituals, as a way to fight his temptation to go into the fire ).

During a religious episode , he even went into the sun ('for god') despite assuming he’d go to hell . Armand:"I held up my open arms to the blinding light. This sinner dies for Him! This sinner goes to Him.Cast me into Hell, Oh Lord, if that is Your will." So it's possibly that in the show (similar to Louis' mom) he believes people go to Hell if they commit su*cide. So as messed up as its sounds it could explain , one of the reasons, he targets su*cidal people in the show. Cause if he k*lls the humans who were going to end themselves anyways - well (from his skewed religious view ) he may think he's technically saving them from hell if he k*lls them first ? In the books he was also known for ending the lives of su*cidal vampires, and his logic and motivations were different : "“In a world where suffering is eternal and the line between life and death is blurred, sometimes the kindest act is to end the torment. I do not take life lightly, but for those who wish to leave this existence, I offer them peace. It is a mercy, a final act of compassion in a world devoid of it.” Personally I think he should leave su*cidal people alone, but his motivations are certainly morally gray, if he truly believes that.

This also could explain one of the various reasons he choses the coven over Louis & Claudia (in the show). He already stated he believed Claudia throwing herself into the fire (like Nikki) was inevitable. Cough it wasn’t . And he probably already knew (via mind reading) about Louis’ su*cidality . Right after Armand agrees to the plan - he walks in on Louis with his wrists opened up (which probably solidified his choice further).

Assad even said that Armand is traumatized by Louis’ attempt in episode 5 . And even though Armand’s actions aren’t excusable. If he truly believed that Louis would go to hell if he committed . Armand’s motivations for erasing Louis’ memory of the attempt are more compelling and give more nuance to his character . He erased Louis attempt like he erased the slashes on his wrists. Even if his love for Louis is VERY warped: it’s the reason he couldn't let him die, nor help him end it (which is part of the reason why he erases his memories and essentially imprisons him in Dubai where he literally controls the windows and doors). It’s why he goes from letting Louis “f*ck off tri-annually” … to imprisonment. Even if he was agnostic : his motivations are certainly compelling even though they are not justifiable and go against Louis' autonomy.

What’s ironic is Armand with his su*cidal victims “calls” them to their death - but when the guilt of Claudia “calls” for Louis’ to end his life , Armand drags him back inside to prevent it .

What’s interesting is Daniel in episode 5 actively questions Louis’ desire to “end it” and fights Armand’s words about wanting “the end”. Because (unlike Louis or Armand) Daniel doesn’t perceive vampirism as (mortal) DEATH but as (eternal) LIFE! He “likes his life”. Deep down he "doesn’t want to REST (in peace)" via Armand. And in the end Armand essentially gave him what he wanted -unlimited life . A small part of him may have wanted death. But Armand may have actually sensed Daniel’s desire for a mortal death -because what Daniel ACTUALLY wanted was to be immortal. Field (young-Daniel’s actor) echoes somewhat similar sentiments.

Daniel being “half in love with death” probably signifies 2 things in the present storyline. His mixed feelings of accepting death at his old age vs his older desire for immortality (he may have been '50/50' on it in ) . But also it possibly foreshadows how he’ll eventually be “HALF IN LOVE” with Armand (who is the symbol of his mortal “DEATH “and the beginning of his immortal life).

[ambiguous-avery]

Chasing Shadows, Part 1

Dean Winchester x OC fem!Touched!Reader/You | WC: 2,999

Summary: She’s never been afraid of the dark, not really. She’s more concerned about getting lost in it. He’s haunted by every dark deed he’s ever done. It’s constantly nipping at his heels like a hell hound. He’s her light in the dark, and she’s the one bit of darkness he’s willing to embrace.

A series of murders has drawn the Winchesters to your small town, and for some reason, you’re at the center of it all. What are you hiding? And why does it seem to be painting a target on those around you?

Tags/Warnings: No use of Y/N, canon-typical violence, eventual romance,  eventual smut,  fluff and angst, POV alternating (sometimes a little all over the place), no beta we die like men

Disclaimer: The base concept of Touched comes from @aylacavebear and is used with permission. I’ve taken creative liberties with it.

A/N: I’ve never posted any of my work anywhere before, so this is a huge leap of faith for me. I’ve just gotten into the Supernatural fandom, so forgive me if there are things that don’t line up with the canon. I’m still in the early seasons of the show! I’m also new to writing x reader fics, so feedback is always welcome! I'll probably end up adding warnings as this goes on.

This was the fifth murder in two weeks. The reports Sam had found had hinted at possible ritual killings due to the bodies reportedly being bloodless, but really, the Winchesters knew better. Everything about the deaths screamed vampires, so the question was less about ‘what’ was killing and more about ‘how many’ were doing the killing. Dean adjusted the collar of his suit and squared his shoulders before knocking on the door in front of him. Their initial snooping into the cases had led them to the most recent victim’s best friend. You.

“Hello,” Dean said your name and flashed his fake FBI badge with practiced ease. “I’m Agent Ehart; this is Agent Greer. We were hoping we could ask you some questions.” You gave each of them a quick visual once-over before you stepped aside and opened the door wider for them. They each gave a quick, appreciative nod and situated themselves on a couch in the living room, looking wholly out of place against the decorations and outdated couch fabric.

“Can I get either of you something to drink?” you asked. Sam shook his head.

“We’re alright, thank you. I’d like to start off with "we're very sorry for your loss." I’m sure it isn’t easy,” he began, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together.

“Thank you,” your tone was clipped as you sat down across from them. Your body language spoke volumes. The way your shoulders were hunched. The way you almost seemed to curl in on yourself, trying to be as small as possible. Your eyes were still red and swollen, the result of at least one recent cry session, probably more. “I already spoke with the police.”

“We understand. See, we’re conducting our own investigation. With so many recent incidents happening in such a short span of time, we’ve been called in,” Sam said, keeping his tone polite but professional.

“So… five deaths is the threshold for the police to bring in the big guns, huh?” They thought you might have been trying to make a joke, but there wasn’t any humor in your voice. Dean wet his lips before responding.

“Something like that… if it isn’t too much to ask, could you go over the night it happened? Anything stand out in your memory?”

You thought for a moment, running the night through your mind. As you reiterated the evening to them, they listened with rapt attention. You had been over the story so often and in so much detail that it was beginning to sound rehearsed. In a way, it sort of was. 

“We were out at a restaurant. We’ve both been so busy lately that we haven’t had some girl time, so we were catching up. It was uneventful, really,” you said with a half shrug. “The strangest thing about the night was a guy who crashed into her on our way out. But again, I’ve already told the police about him.” You looked at Agent Ehart, trying to get a read on him. Unsurprisingly, he wore a sort of grim determination on his face, but there was something else there. You weren’t sure you could put your finger on it. He seemed a bit young to be an agent – both of them did – but he carried the world-weariness of someone who had lived many more lifetimes than appearance would suggest. You wondered what kind of stories he might share over a drink or two.

“Tell me more about this guy,” the one with longer hair – Agent Greer, was it? – cut in. You jerked your head to look at the other agent, abruptly pulled back into the present moment.

“I dunno. There’s not much to say about him. We stepped out of the restaurant, and he walked right into her. Knocked her purse to the ground. All her stuff spilled out, and he couldn’t even be bothered to stop and apologize. Kinda seemed like he was drunk with the way he was stumbling on his feet.” You shifted a bit in your seat. Now was hardly the time to get distracted, not when you were a hair's breadth away from falling to pieces.

“Have you seen him around town before?” the same agent continued.

“Can’t say I have. Then again, I tend to keep to myself when I’m out and about. I don’t think I’d be able to recognize the barista I see every few days if I passed them in a grocery store.”

“I see… and you’re sure there’s nothing else you can think of that seems… odd to you? Really, any detail you might feel doesn’t matter might end up being quite significant. No matter how unbelievable it might be.” You were quiet for a moment, debating. “I promise, there’s nothing you can tell us that we haven’t heard before,” Agent Greer pushed. Something about the hazel-eyed agent’s tone made his words heavier, like there was a more profound meaning behind them than he was letting on. You swallowed hard, gaze dropping to the ground. 

The first chink in your carefully curated mask showed as a flicker of something flashed behind your eyes. The short-haired agent leaned forward, the movement catching your attention. You looked up, and you’re sure that if circumstances were different, you could’ve gotten lost in the agent’s green eyes. 

“Sweetheart, please. We want to catch this guy and keep him from killing anyone else.” His voice was soft and sounded more genuine than the other officers who had questioned you the day before, and somehow, the ‘sweetheart’ nickname didn’t grate on you coming from him. Maybe it was the way his voice rolled over you. Or maybe it was because he had a pretty face.

“I didn’t do this,” you said quietly. 

“I know you didn’t.”

“I feel like I’m going crazy or I’m being vain or something.” You maintained your eye contact with him as though it would make him believe you. “I knew them. All of them. Not well, mind you. Some more than others.” The crack in your mask splintered further. “I know how this looks, but I swear I didn’t have anything to do with it. I know you don’t believe me, but I promise on everything that matters to me.” Your voice cracked, and you squeezed your eyes shut, the familiar feeling of stinging tears behind your eyelids. The sound of fabric rustling drew your attention, and when you opened your eyes, the agent who called you ‘sweetheart’ was standing beside you, a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You leaned into the touch slightly. He was warm, and the touch was comforting.

“Don’t worry. You can tell us anything. We’ll get him,” he said.

They didn’t get much more information out of you. Your inability to give them a solid description of the guy you saw outside of the restaurant was a real damper on their investigation. However, Dean had left a card with his name and number with you on the off chance you remembered anything else. With a heavy sigh, Dean set the duffel bag he was holding onto the motel bed, running a hand through his hair. Sam was seated at the small table in the room, typing away on his laptop. 

“What do you think, Sammy? Still dealing with a vamp?” The two had done away with the stiff suits, and Dean was happier back in his t-shirt and denim.

“I mean, every report I find talks about the bodies being exsanguinated. I don’t know many other creatures that would do that.” Sam turned his computer, letting Dean look over the documents they had gotten from the local police.

“What about a chupacabra?” Dean suggested.

“Everything I can find about those says they go for livestock rather than humans. Vamps fit the bill the best.”

“Yeah, but… the thing that I can’t figure out is ‘why her’? She said she spent time with each of them the same day they were attacked. Vamps don’t usually have a pattern that centers around one person,” Dean said, leaning over to skim the computer screen.

“Maybe it’s a vengeful spirit that’s latched onto her?”

“That would explain the victims’ connection to her but not the blood loss. Unless it has something to do with how the spirit died. But even then, there’s no report of the crime scenes being particularly bloody.” Sam leaned back in his seat as Dean spoke, drumming his fingers on the table. 

“And we’re positive she’s not a part of all of this? She said she didn’t tell the police about her connections with the first vic because she didn’t want eyes on her. That’s not something that someone innocent says,” Sam asked while taking his laptop back and scrolling through the reports again, as if some new detail would stand out to him. 

You had said that you knew all the victims, but the extent of which varied greatly. The first one was an old friend of your parents who you didn’t interact with much, but the one time you did, he was attacked. Victim two was a coworker in a different department who was attacked after a lunch meeting with you. Number three was a taxi driver who had driven you home after a late night at the office, and number four was someone you had met at a bar and shared a drink or two with. Ultimately, though, you hadn’t ended up going home with him. And the most recent one had been your best friend, one you had just hung out with the night of the attack. You weren’t wrong. It was extremely suspicious that you had a connection to all of them, no matter how insignificant it seemed. You had never mentioned your connection to the first victim, and the next three had far stronger connections with others that the police never really glanced your way. Number five was the first time they had looked closely at you, but without the knowledge of your link to any of the others, nothing looked suspicious to them. 

The Winchesters weren’t buying it. 

They spent the better part of the day doing as much digging into the cases as they could, even managing to schmooze their way into the morgue to see the body. As the medical examiner pulled back the sheet to reveal the body, both Dean and Sam’s gazes locked onto the very obvious bite mark on the victim’s neck. 

“Kinda gruesome, isn’t it?” the medical examiner asked. He was a younger kid, probably in his mid twenties, if they had to guess. 

“You can say that again,” Dean mumbled, slowly looking up and down the body.

“All the victims have the same kind of wound on them?” Sam asked, motioning to his own neck. The examiner nodded. 

“Unfortunately so. I try not to jump to conclusions, but I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors of these being ritual killings. Hard not to assume the worst when everything’s pointing in the same direction. Have you guys seen anything like this before?”

“Not exactly like this,” Dean said, shaking his head. 

Everything pointed to a cut and dry vamp nest except for the way they were targeting victims. Why you? More specifically, why those around you but not you directly? Maybe one of the vamps had a vendetta? That would’ve only made partial sense. Only two of the victims seemed to have a more profound connection to you – the neighbor and the best friend. They spent the drive back to the hotel running through every possibility. The sun was sinking behind the hills by the time Dean got out of the shower and dressed. 

“There has to be something we’re missing,” he said as he took a seat on the bed.He grabbed the jar of Dead Man’s Blood from the duffel bag he had shoved beneath the bed and spun it in his hands, his leg bouncing. They had exhausted just about every avenue including variations of vampires in different myths and lore across the world. Nothing was fitting the bill.

“We can always go back and ask her more questions tomorrow,” Sam offered.

“Yeah but what do we even ask? She already said she has no idea why anyone or anything would target her. And I know lying isn’t completely out of the realm of possibility, but it just seems... unlikely. Our last option is that she’s in on it, and something’s telling me that’s not the case.”

“You sure you’re thinking with the right head about that?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh please, do you think I’m blind?” Sam scoffed, a light smile playing on his lips. “You’re a sucker for those big, doe ‘help me’ eyes.”

“Shut up,” Dean grumbled, “She’s a pretty girl in a shitty situation.” The jar of blood was still in his hand, the liquid sloshing around as he tilted it back and forth. Sam rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

“Yeah, and you’re gonna swoop in, save the day, get the girl, and ride off into the sunset.” Dean flashed him his signature boyish grin, the kind of grin that Sam knew was going to get them into trouble sooner rather than later. “Look, just keep it in your pants until we figure this out, yeah?” He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair. Maybe if they looked more into your connection with the victims, something else would show up. 

Dean’s phone went off in his pocket, and he set the jar down on the bedside table before fishing it out of his pocket. He tilted his head to the side slightly as he looked at the number. He didn’t recognize it.

“Hello?” He asked, hitting the speaker button.

“Dean?” your voice crackled over the phone’s crappy speakers. You sounded scared. Dean was on his feet, grabbing the Impala’s keys from his other pocket as you spoke. “I think I’m being followed.”

“Where are you at, sweetheart? We’re on our way.” You rattled off a cross street then for good measure, gave a landmark for reference. “Stay around other people, anywhere with lots of foot traffic.” There was no response.

The part of town you had directed them to was the opposite of what Dean had advised. It was a commercial area some distance away from the downtown shopping district several blocks over. What in the world were you doing out this late with all the recent incidents? You had better not have been trying to solve this yourself. Dean had parked, and the two of them armed themselves for a fight. On second thought, maybe it was a blessing in disguise that you had been out of the way of others. There was no one to judge them as they briskly moved down the sidewalk, checking down the alleys between the buildings. The sound of a scuffle and a pained cry from the next building up caught their ears, and the two of them hoofed it.

The boys turned the corner just in time to watch the vampire sink his teeth into you. The scream in your throat died to a soft whimper, hands uselessly grabbing at the vampire’s arms as it held you against the brick wall. Dean was the first to respond, firing off a bullet soaked in Dead Man’s Blood before Sam even had a chance to aim. It took two more shots before the vampire finally relented, dropping you to the ground, fangs still holding a chunk of your flesh it ripped from you. It clutched at its side where the bullets had sunken in before turning and booking it around the corner. Dean and Sam shared a knowing glance before Dean chased after it. Sam tucked his own gun into the waistband of his pants and knelt down beside you, worry and concern and anger etched into his features. Your eyes had slid closed, and your own blood soaked your shirt, oozing from the open wound in your neck. Sam gingerly eased you so you were sitting up rather than lying in a crumpled heap on the cold ground. He winced, quickly finding your wrist to check for a pulse. Even with his expectations on the ground, Sam was still disappointed when he didn’t feel anything.

“Shit... I’m sorry,” he breathed, brushing stray hair from your face. “I’m sorry we weren’t quick enough.” He stood up, pulled out his own gun, and chased after Dean, mentally promising that he’d make it up to you by killing this son of a bitch.

“I’m telling you, Sam, it was weird. It was like the Dead Man’s Blood had no effect. No lethargy, no weakening of his abilities, nothing. We saw his teeth. If that thing ain’t a vamp, then I’m the queen of England.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it’s because we caught him mid-feed? Maybe the fresh and dead blood cancel each other out in a way?”

“I dunno. But if there’s one, there’s bound to be a nest of them. And we’re gonna need a lot more blood than what we have on hand. Which alley did you leave the vic down?”

“Seriously, Dean?” Sam stopped abruptly, grabbing Dean’s shoulder and staring hard at him. Dean ran a hand over his face and pressed his lips together in a tight line.

“Look, it’s better to do it before the body’s locked behind yellow tape. We need every advantage we can get, and we might as well make her death worth something. Plus, she gets revenge on her killer. It’s a win-win situation.” Sam sighed and shook his head, letting his hand fall away from Dean.

“I hate it when you make sense,” he grumbled, turning the corner. The two of them stopped dead in their tracks.

“Sam...” Dean began slowly, “where’s the body?” Sam gaped at the empty alleyway. For a moment, he thought maybe he had made a wrong turn, but he recognized the dumpster with the mattress sticking out of it. 

“That is a great question...”

---

Thank you for reading, please feel free to leave a like, comment, or reblog! I would be forever grateful! 💜💜💜

Part 2

[tempestgnostic]

Cultivating Authenticity in the Community Garden

A whole world of possibility opened up for me years ago when I realized that alterhuman/nonhuman identity isn’t solely one experience. You don’t have to believe in past lives. You don’t need to go through shifts. If you don’t have a visual representation of your alt/non identity, that’s alright. Our experiences are broader than that, and we need to encourage others to understand and affirm this, so we can encourage authenticity and learn about different paths to this identity that still hold the core of what it means to be alt/non.

I believe conceptkin truly changed the game for our community in a profound way. Here we see folks who possess very strong and impactful connections to abstract concepts, to the extent that they are these concepts, just as I am the archetypal werewolf. I see little difference between our experiences in general. I don’t personally believe my identity comes from a past life, and I only have the fuzziest ideas about what I would look like if I could physically represent myself accurately. This isn’t uncommon in the broader alt/non community, but it seems to be an experience shared by many conceptkin in particular.

Archetropes are another excellent example. We’re constantly pushing the boundaries of what being alt/non is for us, in order to explain ourselves more accurately and hopefully pave the way for others to do the same. Our community thrives when we take the anthropological approach: we start from the assumption that others want to represent their beliefs and experiences honestly. We keep in mind the limitations of language, as well as the accepted norms of our community that often dissuade ‘fringe’ belief. The truth is that our experiences are fundamentally real and ultimately valuable to understanding who we are.

If we want to truly encourage authenticity in the alt/non community, we must cultivate a hungry curiosity. We must learn to parse out what is truth and what is trolling, but also to give that initial benefit of the doubt, however briefly. We must recognize that we don’t all speak the same language, nor do we all agree on which terms mean what, and many of us have only been exposed to bits and pieces of the whole. We all make mistakes that require prompt correction, but we should approach that correction with some level of grace. Community-wide understanding is not instantaneous—far from it. Our work must be painfully collaborative.

None of what I’m saying here is new or revolutionary, by any stretch. Our community has decades of history, kept alive and accessible by amazing community members who have dedicated an incredible amount of time and energy to doing so. I repeat these sentiments because they bear repeating. I’m a big fan of the “Holy shit! Two cakes!” philosophy, and if my perspective can offer something insightful, then I’m happy to share it. (Hell, I’ll share it anyways.)

I have been welcomed into this community with open arms (and open limbs and wings of all kinds). I’ve had the pleasure of meeting fellow community members offline, and discussing our alt/non identities in meatspace has been a joy that’s wholly indescribable. I’ve never felt so seen, so profoundly understood, and I consider it a fine blessing to have found my way here.

[justforbooks]

David Lynch: A life in quotes

The visionary film-maker and prolific artist, purveyor of the dark, mysterious, abstract and unspoken, died aged 78

David Lynch, the enigmatic film-maker who revolutionized American cinema and television through his dark, surrealist vision, has died at the age of 78, less than a year after the lifelong smoker publicly revealed his struggles with emphysema.

Lynch forged an idiosyncratic career that bridged the experimental fringes and the mainstream. After a peripatetic, middle-class upbringing in the American mountain west, he studied painting and made several experimental short films before his cult-hit breakout, Eraserhead. His career – including the award-winning films Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart and Mulholland Drive, as well as the landmark TV show Twin Peaks – earned him an honorary lifetime achievement Oscar in 2019.

A consummate and prolific artist, Lynch worked furiously across mediums – he produced paintings, released albums (including collaborations with Lykke Li and Karen O), created a long-running YouTube weather report, opened a Paris nightclub, and co-authored a memoir. His final feature film, Inland Empire, was released in 2006. Here are some of his most memorable quotes:

On ideas:

They’re like fish. If you get an idea that’s thrilling to you, put your attention on it and these other fish will swim into it. It’s like a bait. They’ll hook on to it and you’ll get more ideas. And you just pull them in. — to the Guardian, 2018

On translating ideas to screen:

It’s a feeling, more of an intuition. It’s the idea that you’ve fallen in love with, and you try to stay true to that. You see the way that cinema can say that idea, and it’s thrilling to you. — to the Guardian, 2018

On mystery:

I don’t know why people expect art to make sense when they accept the fact that life doesn’t make sense. — to the Los Angeles Times, 1989

The big mystery is life as a human being … Life is filled with mysteries, just filled. Human beings, we’re like detectives. We like to think about these things, or I sure do, and we want answers. The secret is: the answers are there, and they also lie within. It’s all there for us. If we want to get it, we can get it. — to the Guardian, 2024

Certain things are just so beautiful to me, and I don’t know why. Certain things make so much sense, and it’s hard to explain. — to Chris Rodley for Lynch on Lynch, 1997

On absurdity and humor:

Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there’s humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd. But I don’t just find humor in unhappiness – I find it extremely heroic the way people forge on despite the despair they often feel. — to the Los Angeles Times, 1989

On failure:

In a way failure is a beautiful thing, because when the dust settles there’s nowhere to go but up, and it’s a freedom. You can’t lose more, but you can gain. — from Room to Dream, 2018

On success:

Success can screw you because you start worrying about falling and you can’t ever stay in the same place. That’s just the way it is. You should be thankful for successes, because people really loved something you did, but it’s all about the work. — from Room to Dream, 2018

On visual language:

A film or a painting – each thing is its own sort of language and it’s not right to try to say the same thing in words. The words are not there. The language of film, cinema, is the language it was put into, and the English language – it’s not going to translate. It’s going to lose. — to the Guardian, 2018

On human potential:

Sublime eternal love is a possibility for human beings, and every human being should know that – it exists within each one of us. — to the Guardian, 2024

On watching films:

I’m not a real film buff. Unfortunately, I don’t have time. I just don’t go. And I become very nervous when I go to a film because I worry so much about the director and it is hard for me to digest my popcorn. — Cannes Film Festival press conference for Fire Walk With Me, 1992

On reviews:

The good ones aren’t good enough, and the bad ones will depress you. — to the Guardian, 2018

On an artist’s life:

You gotta be selfish. And it’s a terrible thing. I never really wanted to get married, never really wanted to have children. One thing leads to another and there it is … I did what I had to do. There could have been more work done. There are always so many interruptions. — to the Guardian, 2018

An artist’s life is very selfish. But it’s thrilling to create something, and you need a certain set-up for the process to take place. You can’t have a lot of obligations. — in Room to Dream, 2018

On his reclusive lifestyle:

I like to make movies. I like to work. I don’t really like to go out. — to the Guardian, 2018

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[themiracleofteddybearmanifestos]

I know I'm late to the party but I just watched Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe and I have a LOT of thoughts.

I think this was a terrible adaptation.

I think it was a beautifully produced and well acted movie, and maybe without having read the book it would have been fine, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't separate it from its source material because some of the changes were just horrible.

I know you can't keep everything in, that's fine. You cut some things, you rearrange some stuff, you fit within your runtime. But why change some of the most crucial/beautiful moments? I have a long, long list of quotes that were either removed or just horribly altered/misplaced and it's so disappointing.

Getting rid of Mrs. Quintana grasping Ari's face and saying, "Aristotle Mendoza, I will love you forever" is so sad. Changing what Gina said, that Ari says is the "nicest thing you ever said to me" to be something totally mundane (essentially changed "you got hunkier" to "you look different") is just an odd choice. But changing the way Ari reacts to kissing Dante? That's horrible.

Ari was done horribly in this movie, I'm sorry. The actor did great and he was lovely in certain moments, but they took out what made him shine. I have a friend who said they didn't like the book because Dante deserved so much better, and I disagreed. Book Ari has moments where he's an asshole, but at his core he is a kind and loving boy who is grateful and appreciative. Film Ari is a sometimes sweet boy who is more often than not just rude.

I can understand some changes have to be made when adapting a first person POV novel, that's fair, but you can absolutely use body language and other visual cues to give insight. This is especially clear with Ari's dad, who in the book is understandably difficult for Ari to get along with. He's distant and intimidating and doesn't want to be open. But in the movie he just seems like a sad dad trying his best to talk to his teenage son, and Ari is completely rude and cold to him for no apparent reason! Film Ari does not thank or hug his parents when they give him a car. Film Ari does not say goodnight to his father or listen when his father wants to show him a painting. Idk exactly how that all plays out in the book since I forget a lot, but the important thing is that all we are shown is his father trying and Ari being rude in response. His motivation is unclear and his behavior is selfish.

Now, one of the biggest crimes is what happens in the truck after Dante and Ari kiss. First off, change of location from Dante's room to the truck ... Okay sure. But I have no idea how you can first off, totally alter this scene and omit a very important quote:

"I don’t kiss boys.” “Okay, so the first rule is: No trying to kiss Ari.”

"You have the harder rule? Buffalo shit... I, on the other hand, have to refrain from kissing the greatest guy in the universe—which is like walking barefoot on hot coals." (Pgs 256-257)

And then completely and entirely warp this scene:

So I closed my eyes.

And he kissed me. And I kissed him back.

And then he started really kissing me. And I pulled away.

"Well?" he said.

"Didn't work for me," I said.

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

"Okay. It sure worked for me."

"Yeah. I think I get that, Dante."

"So, well, that's over with then, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Are you mad at me?"

"A little."

He sat back down on his bed. He looked sad. I didn't like seeing him that way. "I'm more mad at myself," I said. "I always let you talk me into things. It's not your fault."

"Yeah," he whispered.

"Don't cry, okay?"

"Okay," he said.

"You're crying."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

"Okay." (Pgs. 263-264)

HOW do you turn that into Ari calling Dante disgusting and screaming at him to get the fuck out of his car??? That's the fucking breaking point for me, because Ari is a lot of things, but an outright aggressive homophobe is not one of them. Maybe I'm forgetting, and maybe something similar happens later and they just rearranged it. But I know for a FACT that Ari NEVER calls Dante disgusting. Never. Because the word disgusting appears once in this book and Gina says it to Ari. That's it, not a single other usage.

That's what broke it for me, even though I had a lot of issues with other parts (Ari not saying thank you about the truck, removing the shoe-throwing game, getting rid of so much important dialogue, etc.) THIS is the thing that was unacceptable because even when Ari was mad at Dante, he didn't hurt him. He didn't immediately go back on his loyalty he'd just sworn, to stay by Dante even though he's gay. He didn't scream at him or curse him.

But I also just couldn't stand how much of the beautiful writing was completely removed. I love that book because it's poetic and full of quips and oddities. Dante in the movie is cute and sweet, but the oddest thing shown about him is that he wears silly sunglasses. We're told he's weird, and get little glimpse of it, but the heart of Dante is not there. In the book he feels a little mystified and hard to fully grasp, but in the movie he's just... There. A shell, almost. He's still lovable, but he's not wholly Dante. It's like an afterimage of Dante, which is impressive because he was very personable in the movie, but that just shows how enchanting Dante is in the book. He's hard to pin down, but he's not hollow. I think a big issue was that a lot of the time, Dante seemed hurt by Ari. Genuinely disheartened, rather than laughing it off until he couldn't anymore, he was kind of just sad? I don't know. We had the bones of something beautiful with this movie, really, but they just didn't do it right.

Again, the loss of the poeticism and the changes to Ari are what hurt it the most. Movie Ari has very sweet moments where the book character shines through, but he takes himself too seriously in a way where it feels like we're supposed to as well. Ari is lame! He's an awkward teenager with a lot of angst because he's figuring things out and struggling to find his place in the universe, but movie Ari isn't that at all. He's just brooding and downright mean at times. His reactions to the things around him were so hollow and uncaring, and maybe that's how he looked from the outside, but again, this story was not told from the outside and completely loses it's effect when you can't tell what he's feeling or thinking because he just seems mad or disinterested. Not all the time, there were some incredible scenes. I loved him talking with his parents after he beat up Julian. I loved the final scene with the kiss. I think his reaction worked well when hearing about his aunt's girlfriend. But damnit that was lost to me the moment he called the most brilliant boy he'd ever met "disgusting."

Overall, I don't regret watching the movie and I loved some of the scenes and think the music and atmosphere were great. But I'm heartbroken over the fact that so much of the nuance was completely lost. Even if there was some nuance present in the movie, it was far, far less than in the book.

(Less structured bonus points because this rant was messy enough but I have more to say): Dante told him not to open the sketchbook until he was gone. In the movie Ari opened it right up and made a kind of rude comment. Next: so many important bonding moments were removed. Dante giving Ari a sponge bath and them visiting with each other every day Ari was in the hospital. The shoes were significantly played down to the point where the sentimentality of the little shoes was almost lost. Also: The letters were so entirely diminished. And: Ari's brother killed two people, not just the trans woman but also someone in jail. Bro I haven't read this book in multiple years and I'm able to recount this much, I don't even want to think about how glaringly off it all is when I've read the whole book to compare. (If any of my points were wrong, I blame this. But I'm pretty sure most of them are right.)

I loved the end of the movie tho lol I'm always a sucker for a sweet scene and Dante's actor killed it with the eye acting in that scene, the emotions were palpable.

[diodellet]

relationships: first semester edition

first impressions, icks, and all that fun stuff

Notes:

By ‘first semester’ I’m loosely estimating the time around the events of Books 1-3 (but hng there are some plot points I wanna ignore. For the vibes)

Mentions of misogyny, bullying, physical violence but it doesn’t go into heavy detail (I’m just a humanities major tryna condense these interactions into 100-200ish words.)

Getting this outta the way, yes, everyone can (or will) clock that she has a crush on Jamil. While it is entertaining in the same way reality TV/a car crash is, most of them find it pitiful.

This post ended up so long, I'm so sorry 🙇‍♂️(not sorry for giving my girl Lou all these challenges😤)

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts

Lou was already scared from hearing secondhand information (thanks Ace🙄but this is what her chismosa-nature gets her) about how Riddle was being a tyrant in Heartslabyul. But after meeting him for realsies, she got a liiiiil irked about how uptight he was with rules, (“‘Rules are good for keeping order’? What kind of order? Hierarchical order??”)

At first, Riddle thought she’d have a good head on her shoulders. He was wrong, but thankfully they don’t interact that much to butt heads often. During the occasional joint class, he finds that she’s just as lackadaisical as some NRC students but at least she’s willing to defer listen to her upperclassmen. (Though, her coarse language is very very grating to him. He doesn’t know that she likes to break the rules of formal English every day. Not yet, at least.)

Trey Clover

Lou was glad to see that there was a reliable older brother figure in Heartslabyul to balance out Riddle’s—uh….(flips through dictionary for nice words)—neurotic side. (Before properly meeting any of the dorms, she initially visualized NRC as a kinda big frat party kinda thing, but that’s her overdramatizing her situation.) Those first few weeks of adjusting to living at the Ramshackle dormitory though, made her embarrassed by how much of his baking she was smuggling during her first Unbirthday party visits. 

Trey doesn’t really see her around unless she’s hanging out with Ace and Deuce. For all his worrying, he liked that she balances out the 1-A trio dynamic, that eased his worries a little bit. Until he realized that she has a cheeky side like Ace. Truly he wasn’t gonna be given much of a break from playing the sensible upperclassman. 

Cater Diamond

Extravert warning of the microinfluencer variety. (Back in her homeworld, Lou has met a few of those and she did not have good experiences with them). But on the bright side, after going through the ordeals of Riddle’s Overblot together, she eventually warms up to Cater, not quite clocking that he has an introverted-ish side, but more of her realizing that she was judging him for being a stereotype and that she should make an effort to see past that 😇(Soon, she shall work up the courage to ask him for guitar-playing tips, esp for fingerstyle).

Immediately notices there’s something wrong with this girl. Nah, not really, but when Cater’s combing through his Unbirthday Party pics before uploading the best onto Magicam, he notices that Lou’s…resting expression? has something off about it. It’s uncomfy in the way that one looks at oneself in the mirror. But since they both reflexively distance themselves from people, it’ll take a bit of a while before they get to have those uncomfy-but-needed conversations as senpai-kouhai.

Ace Trappola

Did not like him on first meeting, but there truly is nothing like the bonds of friendship forged from the fires of adversity. Lou does appreciate that Ace has the courage to speak up against shitty/unjust situations (though she won’t vocalize that she’s on his side, much to his chagrin). She also strongly envies anyone with slight math proficiency, but still has a bit too much pride to ask him upfront for help. (So whenever Deuce asks, she’s sliding into the conversation nonchalantly.)

At first Ace thought she was a goody two shoes like Deuce. But he didn't expect her to sympathize with his grievances towards Riddle’s rigidity. Much less, her lil cheeky spontaneous side. (But he does have slight beef with how she pretends to be innocent unless she really gets caught red-handed). He has tried confronting her about her slight two-faced moments, but that conversation just kept going in circles so, it’ll have to come up at another more inconvenient time.

Deuce Spade

Thank you Deuce for voicing the questions that Lou’s too shy to (It will take her a bit of a while to actually vocalize the things she’s grateful for to the 1-A trio, mayhaps post-Book 6?) But she did laugh out loud when he thought chickens came from store-bought eggs. She does feel bad about using him like a human shield when she feels a physical confrontation about to happen, but she doesn’t stop doing it until the events of Book 3. Seeing her “kinda-first friends” being subjected to the Octatrio’s shenanigans pushed her into doing something brave. And stupid, like using Ramshackle as collateral. She sometimes gets the urge to try coloring her hair so she fits in a bit better at the magical anime boys school, but isn’t sure if Deuce would be willing to try bleaching her hair.

It takes a while before Deuce realizes that she has a two-faced side. (And it does cause a small rift in their friendship when some more issues come to light). But other than that, they have a sort of reputation as those struggling academically, it’s a bit of an inside joke between them.

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar

Lou actually drops her facade around him, that threat about yanking out her teeth sounds serious. Doesn't call him 'kuya' (big brother) like she does with the other upperclassmen, jumps straight into calling him 'ninong' (uncle), especially after meeting Cheka. Is way more reserved around him, but more upfront about her feelings compared to the rest of the twst charas. 

Immediately notices there is something wrong with this girl, or rather hears it? Leona finds that she's actually quite vitriolic compared to the “friendly” first impression she made at the Opening Ceremony, which doesn't surprise him. In that sense, she fits right in at NRC. Tbh, he susses out the rest of her general personality just from playing chess with her during the events of Book 3. She loves moving her knights, but loses steam through the middle and end game. Chess veterans, u tell me what that says about her lmao.

Ruggie Bucchi

Lou is so happy to find someone willing to split meals with her. (There’s nowhere else to go for this relationship to go but up, esp after the events of Book 4 JK SIKE—) So imagine her betrayal when it comes to light that he was one of the major culprits behind the accidents during the Interdorm tournament. She already noticed that he has a scheme-y side to him, but when she thinks about how [redacted for irrelevance], she realizes that she isn’t really losing much when she’s letting herself get played for a fool.

Damn, this girl is pathetic - Wait, she has leftovers? Ruggie kinda reevaluates that initial brush-off of her because of how often she shares food with him. At some point, he kiiinda gets hit in the conscience by seeing how skinny she is and how little she eats during meals. But like, he can't stand wasting food. (Unwillingly, he kind of takes it on himself to teach her little life hacks for living on her own. Unbeknownst to her, he snatches just a lil bit from her wallet in addition to the leftovers she gifts him. For some just payment.)

Jack Howl

Damn, this girl is kinda pathetic, she needs to work hard and improve herself. (Jack! She has undiagnosed mental illness, you can't just say that!) Because of Book 3, he gets a front seat to her two-facedness which rubs him the wrong way, but she does seem to be doing it for her friends, so he can’t argue against that. (It doesn’t stop him from sermoning/doting on her like he would for his younger siblings.) Going into headcanon territory here, but I like to think that Jack and his fam are Fil-Can, so he understands a bit of her Tagalog (which makes her feel a little less homesick), though she uses so much slang, he sometimes can’t keep up.

Lou also didn’t like Jack on first meeting. She gets irked by moralistic types of people, but she grows a grudging sense of respect for Jack after Book 3. (Doesn’t stop her from always using him as a shield whenever there’s an intimidating person nearby.) On second thought, she does feel a biiit guilty that he genuinely gives her solutions when she vents aloud (even if it’s mostly for the drama), so she tries not to do it within earshot.

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

At first Lou was kinda unimpressed with his whole merchant schtick. (“Can you recreate my lola’s sinigang recipe? No? *intensely disappointed face* Oh… that’s alright, I’m fine now.”) Girlie was gambling on the fact that they had 200 anemones to look after and that they had nothing to offer each other to fly under his radar. Hates these types of “give an inch, they’ll take a mile” people. In spite of the thalassophobia trauma she received, one good thing came from Azul’s Overblot and that was getting to hound him with extra bureaucracy shit.

This girl is two-faced, has ulterior motives and is pretending to be dumb, someone PLEASE confirm what Azul’s seeing. Forms a tentative partnership with her, since she comes across as innocent and well-meaning to a sizable amount of people (compared to the three of ‘em in Octavinelle, who are on the more intimidating side), so at least he managed to find a use out of her! Does he sympathize with her as they were both bullying victims…? lmao no. It gives him a slight sense of catharsis to be mean to her.

Floyd Leech

Oh no, her thalassophobia grew a pair of legs. Lou was already tuning out the giant glass wall of the Mostro Lounge, what do you mean she caught the attention of the Leech twins? It’s hard to put on a boring facade when they have the audacity to just pick her up and squeeze her. (Ironically, it’s her being bothered by the tweels staved off most other NRC students’ attempts to bully her because like… that’s just sad.)

Calls her Triggerfish, also clocks her two-facedness but he finds Azul’s frustration towards her funny. Floyd likes that she’s high strung. Initially found her screaming and thrashing entertaining (“Wow, look at her lungs go”) though he might get bored of it at some point. But considering the shit that will happen in Book 4, that’s not gonna happen any time soon. 

Jade Leech

Oh no, her thalassophobia has a twin. She also made the mistake of thinking that Jade was the easier twin to negotiate with (as she tends to misjudge the vice housewardens 😔 This will not be the last time this happens.) Absolutely cannot get a read on this guy, and just always braces for the worst if she ever gets approached. That changes when he offers a smidge of the gossip he knows about, suddenly she’s willing to bear with the shenanigans and ordeals.

Also likes that she’s high strung. “Yes, Floyd, look at her lungs go” pt. 2 Electric Boogaloo. Imagine his joy when Jade found out that she also likes wordplay and puns, tried recruiting her into the Mountain Lovers’ club but she's so adamant on saying "no" 😔 (When she was looking for an arts club to join, mans really thought he could be the one out of the Octatrio to be able to get her to agree to something wholeheartedly.)

Scarabia

Kalim al-Asim

Lou gets so tired hanging out with him. But genuinely does get disarmed by how goodhearted he is, to the point that she'd talk about her pre-isekai life. Though that kind of changes during the Scarabia arc proper, upon hearing more about his family life she [redacted for irrelevance] and distances herself. Until the VDC happens /shrug

She's so shy :( but she seems fun! Kalim mistakenly thinks that she needs to be coaxed out of her shell with a good enough party (U sweet summer child, that will do the opposite). Is one of the people supplying her with too much leftovers, he doesn't know that Ruggie has to step in until like a bit later down the school year. It takes a bit for him to acknowledge that she’s two-faced, he just thinks that she also needs a bit of encouragement to speak up more (which is kinda true).

Jamil Viper

Lou’s idea of dealing with a crush in a face-to-face situation is to pretend that it is not there at all. (“Whomil Viper? I don’t even know her.”) It doesn’t help that she blushes easily. This sucks for her specifically. That aside, she tries really hard to make herself scarce when Jamil’s in the same room (though it’s hard to when she keeps glancing over at him) because she can intuit that he’s probably one minor inconvenience away from exploding out of stress. It’s an effect of living in a household where [redacted for length and relevance].

Doesn’t have that many strong opinions on first years, Jamil can easily play the role of a helpful upperclassman. There is something up with this girl, but Jamil notices retroactively that she is surprisingly good at saying little about herself? (Tho it is amusing to see how jumpy she is around him, a little ego boost for the day or sumn. He could probably use this for his little plan during the winter break, who knows /shrug).

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit

(Call Me Mother by RuPaul starts playing) Lou usually swaps between ‘ate’ (big sister) and ‘kuya’ when referring to him. As a general reaction to most Pomefiore (and Diasomnia students), she’s a little starstruck watching them from afar. Until she sees how haughty some of them are. Though in Vil’s case, she kind of bears with his harsh, critical nature. She might be the least cautious? around him compared to the other housewardens, because in her mind, everything she does will annoy him. (And it eases her homesickness in a weird, twisted way). There’s little she can do to salvage her image in front of him, so there’s no way it can get worse (cue VDC arc looming in the distance.)

The lost potential in this girl will give Vil an aneurysm. She ditched her audition for the Film Studies Club, she rarely ever wears her uniform properly, she’s probably running on fumes for most days of the week. There’s a lot to glean about her just from how she presents herself, and it is an eyesore. 

Epel Felmier

There is something off about this innocent-looking guy, but Lou can’t put her finger on it. Until she saw Epel when he’s not under Vil’s watchful eye. She realized once again that she had misjudged him as a stereotype, and that she should strive to see past that. She tries her best to be civil.

Epel has heard about the hijinks she and the other 1-A peeps have gotten up to. The chandelier incident, the magestone finding, and managing to avoid expulsion by the skin of their teeth. And that sounded so cool to him, until he saw how shy and withdrawn she was in person, thus reared up his internalized misogyny. (They could have ended up in a scuffle but they’re 2 petite people tryna throw hands. He’s the first person to get her to full-on drop her people-pleaser attitude though, if that’s anything of note.)

Rook Hunt

Lou tries so hard not to judge the outwardly eccentric people. And then she finds out he’s a fervent patron of the arts (++he also knows some juicy gossip). If she weren’t so shy, he’d probably be the third year that she’d approach the most. 

(Tbh, I couldn’t think of a nickname he’d give her, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there 🤧) Like Vil, he also laments her lost potential (Whatever that is, Lou isn’t willing to hear it). He has tried to get her to join the Science Club, but she respectfully declined his offer (read: ghosted him after his long-winded spiel).

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud

Theoretically, they are the most similar in terms of disposition and interests but realistically, having them in the same room is like mixing oil and water. Lou felt like looking into a mirror when she met him in person for the first time. And she did not like him at all. She’s glad that he’s hardly ever on campus.

Idia sees how much of a people-pleaser she is, and he’s all “extravert /derogatory—wait, she likes anime and video games too? …Oh, she has normie taste…” (Cue Lou throwing that line back in his face after he goes on a Premo tangent). They could have ended up in a physical scuffle, but it’s very easy to stop 2 sedentary nerds from throwing hands, so all’s good 😇 (The relationship will worsen by Book 6).

Ortho Shroud

A walking Google…no, he’s a walking CCTV. Lou tries not to interact with him too much, especially after coming to that realization. As much as she really wants to spend a whole afternoon just asking questions about Twisted Wonderland and stuff, he sometimes sets off her hypochondriac-isms. (In an ideal world, she believes she could parse together his jargon-filled responses.)

With all of his technomantic enhancements, Ortho notices very quickly that there is something wrong with this girl, just from scanning her biometrics. But he gets a little frustrated at how she’s willing to brush off his worrying (the similarities between her and Idia are never ending 😤)

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia

Assuming she meets him after learning about the different types of non-humans in Twisted Wonderland, Lou is hellbent on making sure never to set off Malleus. (So imagine her confusion during Book 2, hearing that he might be injured? Like…how 🤔 He’s got guards with him…and he has lots of magic…how would a student be able to cause an accident?) She’s not fine with knowing that he likes to roam around Ramshackle, but she’ll turn away and claim deniability at seeing him there. It’s like ignoring ghosts🤧

She faces him with the same fear that most people do, and that doesn’t really paint a favorable impression with Malleus. In the end, she’s not that memorable a face for him.

Lilia Vanrouge

Lou probably first saw him when the Pop Music Club was tryna recruit new members. Actually doesn’t mind that he sings screamo style, if the music’s hard enough Lou can vibe with it. But also, seeing that there were only 3 of them in the club was enough of a sign for her to sign-up elsewhere. Out of all the Diasomnia people, she can hold a conversation with Lilia.

Lilia is a tad bit concerned for her, but in the way that he gets concerned over the young'uns of today. If they were closer, he’d definitely invite her over whenever he gets to cook. He does notice that she has a bit of an abrasive relationship with Sebek, but he’s not too worried about it, it’s good that he’s friends with someone who’s willing to voice their opinions.

Silver

A little starstruck meeting him. But also Lou doesn’t want to wait for the other shoe to drop. She keeps her distance. Especially after seeing how imposing they were during the showdown in Book 2. (It’ll take until Book 7 for their relationship to have any meaningful developments).

Silver doesn’t have any strong opinions on her. She seems nice, they’ve had civil conversations. Though he finds it a bit offputting at how she’s envious of how much sleep he gets… like girl, please stop hyping up his narcolepsy, it’s not fun being at the whims of the urge to sleep. (Then again, it takes him a bit to piece together that she’s an insomniac).

Sebek Zigvolt

Also a little starstruck meeting him for the first time. Then he opened his mouth and Lou remembered that she does not like condescending people. Which sucks, because he’s also an appreciator of the arts and they could have meaningful discussions, except they usually end up one step away from full-on verbal arguments (he’s one of the few who unintentionally gets her to drop her people-pleaser facade, if that’s anything to note.)

Another human who refuses to know their place, it is a travesty to see such behavior in Night Raven College, Sebek laments. (It will also take a while for their relationship to have any meaningful developments.) While she has her passable moments, especially in front of their upperclassmen, he also overhears her little snarky comments. It annoys him and he will sermon her, even though it gets them both told off by the professor.

tl;dr: maybe i put too much thought into this (and i will probably do this again when i get the spoons to talk about books 4-6. book 7 will deffo be its own beast lmao) but i think this pretty much sums up how i'll be characterizing lou and her interactions with the cast when i decide to post some drabbles. its great that there are ppl observant enough to see that girlie has Issues™

tagging @viperwhispered @crystallizsch @twstgo

[pure-ablution]

10 things that helped you snatch Alajos? (Aside from the obvious, like studying at Oxford)

5 things that helped me to snatch him ...

I speak his language. I mean both the obvious and the not-so-obvious here. It’s no secret that Alajos struggles with his English and doesn’t enjoy speaking it, and the relief that flooded his face when he found that I spoke Latin (and then, later, a whole host of more alive shared languages) was one to photograph. Beyond that, though, he and I understand one another so well, and it’s a natural intuition; I know how he likes things without him having to say, I’m one step ahead with all his fussiness and fancy, and I can read him like a book. I understand him, it’s as simple as that, and he appreciates my understanding immensely. There have been times when we’ve needed to take a step back and translate for one another, figuratively or literally, but, by and large, we clicked immediately and there’s never been any need for paragraphs or lengthy explanations on anything with him.

I’m sensitive. There are reasons why a tall, charming, good-looking, twenty-something heir to a not-insignificant fortune had never had a girlfriend before me, and Alajos says himself that he was looking towards a lifetime of bachelorhood up until the day we met. Many would judge, and have judged, him for his predicaments, but I made the effort to listen to what he wasn’t saying from the start, and I’ve always been careful in how I’ve dealt with the more sensitive side to our relationship. There’s been a lot of adjusting when it comes to how and how much I help him with his lack of sight and language, there’s been a lot of taking things slowly and disregarding usual relationship milestones, and there’s been a lot of finding loopholes and circumnavigating the difficulties life has thrown at him. Zoya likes to joke that dating rich means being licensed in boarding school trauma-informed therapy, and she’s half right—wealthy men aren’t immune to insecurities and bad experiences, and being sensitive to this has taken me a long way.

I’m just his type. This is more significant than you might think for a man who can’t see! Alajos constantly tells me how beautiful I am to him, and he’s told me a million times over that he was attracted to my voice, my scent, and my soft touch from the very beginning (and Percy has confirmed that he went on and on about this ad nauseam when we first began stepping out!). He loves that I’m soft to hear and to touch, he loves that I feel tiny in his arms and that he can wrap his hands right around my waist, and he loves that I do a lot for his sake to enhance my non-visual beauty. I’m sweet, not scary in the slightest, and don’t play games with him. I can make him laugh, cry, and blush with hardly any words at all, I get on well with his friends and family, I’m not the type to loudly state my opinions or readily enter into arguments, I’m the social butterfly to his stoic silence, I make him feel safe and comfortable, and he’s proud to show me off to the world. We’re a lovely match, and I’ve been told many times by his friends and family that I’m exactly what he wanted for himself.

I make him feel like a man. This is a common thread that I see amongst a lot of my friends who are dating, but it was especially important for Alajos, who had derived his understanding of relationship dynamics from old books and stories. He’s someone who is often misunderstood in some way or another, and he liked that I disregarded the usual social script and just let him take care of me from the moment we met. For someone who has had people bend over backwards to help him cross the road or use simple cutlery, he found it extremely refreshing that I let him buy me a drink and hold the door open for me, and never tried to nanny him or henpeck in any way. I’ve never met anyone with quite such strong ideals of chivalry in all my life, and whilst yes, I’ve occasionally had to hold him back from the ridiculous, most of the time, I do indulge him and let him call the shots, look after me, and take on the lion’s share of things, and he plays the white knight beautifully.

We already ran in the same circles. Whilst I met Alajos by complete chance, and probably wouldn’t have bumped into him otherwise, since he’s much more shy than I am and not fond of a night out, our university is disturbingly, incestuously close-knit, and it was no surprise to me whatsoever that half of my friends already knew of him, and the other half were closer still. Running in the same circles is important—it gives you people to vouch for you, it means that you have common ground, and it enables the likelihood of future meetings and, later on, dates. Once Alajos’s friends found out who the girl making him blush and skip out on boys’ nights was, then they spent half of their lives scheming and plotting to get us together, and it worked. It makes total sense that our social circles overlap—the Venn diagrams are positively circular in so many cases and connections—and it helped a lot with developing our relationship and persuading his family of my merit and integrity.

... and 5 things that helped me to stay!

I fully embraced his culture and values. This is already written about, and at excruciating length, but I would never in a million years have stayed where I am, and been looking at a wedding in less than a year, if I hadn’t given up what semblance of cultural identity I previously had, and thrown myself in wholeheartedly into Hungaria. Family is the most important thing in the world to Alajos, and half of the sacrifices I’ve made have been for his parents and extended relations rather than for him alone, but it’s one and the same, at the end of the day. He took me to Mass before we even began officially dating—there was never any question about the path I was going to need to take.

Our life goals and timelines are aligned. I wanted to marry a family man, who wouldn’t be tied to the office and to his work, and Alajos is someone to whom a career has always been something of an afterthought. He wanted to marry a little wife and mother, who would cook his favourite meals and raise beautiful and clever children, and I’m someone who has never wanted a part in the rat race, and always wished for my own little brood. He’s also perfectly content for us to spend our twenties chasing what little career I’m going to have around the globe, and settle down later, and that suits me down to the ground. He’s less than five years older than me, we’re graduating within a year of one another, and we’re not at drastically different stages of life experience or maturity—we’ve never had questions of timing drive us apart, and I think that this is a big factor behind why we’ve stayed together.

We share our interests and tastes. There’s nothing worse than being a couple with nothing to talk about except being a couple. As cringeworthy as it might sound, Alajos and I are best friends, and we have enough common ground to fill a book twice over. I love hearing him talk about his interests, and he loves hearing me; we take part in all sorts of fun activities and courses together, and half of our conversations are about the new and interesting things we’ve learnt that day. I love that I have a fiancé whom I can take to museum exhibitions, art talks, and cookery classes and who enjoys them just as much as I do, and he loves that he has a girl who is more than happy to sit and compose music with him and discuss the genius of Italian sculptors. We also have very similar tastes and understandings of beauty, and whilst it’s a small thing, it definitely helps that I’ve never had to convince him on paint shades or sort out his dress sense.

We’re not in one another’s pockets. During the day, we don’t really see each other all that much. On weekends, of course, we're together more, but during the week, I go to lectures and meet with my friends, whilst he works on his projects and meets with his friends. One of the things Alajos mentioned, very early on in our relationship, was that he didn’t want a girl who would be socially dependent on him—he was adamant that he wanted me to have my own life, hobbies, and friends outside of him, and so that’s what we’ve always had. We play different sports, are members of different societies, and have different study spots, and I’d say that, overall, we’re quite an independent couple. It surprised me initially, but I find that it works well; it makes the time we have together all the more special, and it means we have far more to talk about when we do finally see one another at the end of the day. It’s the same for most of his friends who have girlfriends or fiancées; they love their girls dearly, but don’t want them in their pockets, and nor do they want them pining at home for them.

I’m unwaveringly loyal, and so is he. Loyalty is one of the most important tenets of our relationship, for both of us, and if there had ever been a question on this, I don’t believe that we would have lasted a moment longer. Alajos is devoted to me, and I to him, and anyone who has met us for five minutes would say much the same. I took this tone from the start, and I’m glad that I did—I never dated on a roster with him, I never played single when I knew I wasn’t, and I never once skirted anywhere near the “single until married” shtick, and I don’t think I ever could have. I’m 100% loyal to Alajos and he loves me for it; he loves overhearing me tell other men that I’m taken, he loves that he’s the first one to hear my news, and he loves that he’s never once had to question anything between us. In return, I have a man who would give me the moon and all the stars if I asked for them, and who would never once look at another girl even if he had the eyes to see.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Median system here. I’m the host and core of the system (our syscovery happened a few months ago, we’re handling it pretty well I think). Something that bothers the others a tiny bit is that, while they’re thought of as facets, I’m not. They’re just facets of me, and I’m… metaphorically speaking, the gem.

Am I wrong for thinking that way? Like, I’m kinda scared of thinking of myself any other way. I’m supposed to be the overarching person who we all are, I don’t want to be just… another facet.

I know more distinct systems don’t have a “non-alter” since everyone is an alter, but I don’t know if it’s different for me, since I’m median, and we’re all different versions of the same person. And I know there’s no real “right” or “wrong” way to go about systemhood, but… Everyone else who has an opinion about it (within the system) thinks maybe I should consider myself a facet too, but I’m really uncomfortable with it.

Maybe I just needed to say this to someone. I don’t know. Do you have any advice?

Hi! Our biggest advice for you here is to listen to your system and collaborate with them to find some language that works for everyone. Some systems do use and benefit from “core” language, but many do not, as it can too easily lead to prioritizing or favoring one particular headmate over the rest of the system.

Since the rest of your facets have issues with this language, it likely would be for the best to change the way you refer to yourself! Perhaps you could simply call yourself the system host or maybe blanket self (<- Pluralpedia link!), or some other unique term that you all come together to decide. Maybe you could spend a bit of time referring to yourself as a facet, and see how it feels for you.

We do feel like it’s a bit unfair to say that if you are also a facet you’ll be “just another facet.” All system members, facets or not, are unique and special individuals in their own ways. Regardless of how well developed or how active they are, there isn’t ever one system member who should be put on a pedestal above the rest (hence why many systems are offended by “core” language).

We cannot dictate how you or your system visualize yourselves, and in the end we won’t be able to choose the right language that works for y’all. But we do really think that it would be a good idea to listen to your facets, take their ideas to heart, and at least try to work on a compromise that benefits everyone!

We’ll go ahead and link our post on in-system conflict (<- link) in case something there might be useful for y’all. Remember, change often is scary, but change is often necessary in order for us to keep growing and developing in positive ways! We’re wishing y’all the very best of luck with whatever you all decide in the future!

[bloomeng]

“Genshin character designs are bad.”

You really can’t navigate through the Genshin fandom without hearing this take. It’s stale at this point, but it’s…. also true. Except that’s usually not what people are actually saying. The true question up for debate: Are Genshin character designs ugly?

It irks me because there is validity to the original statement, and yet the conversation immediately moves into the territory of strictly opinion, leaving the true discussion never to be had.

So I’m having it… with myself…. in the form of a long post, because actually I find Genshin an interesting character design case study.

Before I really get into it I must address the elephant in the room; are Genshin’s character designs colorist?

Yes. Moving on.

Okay, okay, I’ll address it a little, Genshin has a problem with colorism. It’s a fiercely debated topic and honestly it’s one of the only real valid discussions I see around Genshin’s designs. That being said, I have nothing new to add to the conversation. If you don’t know why, sorry I’m not qualified to answer that, but you’re in luck because tons of qualified people have explained it across all platforms.

What I am partially equipped to talk about is character design. I’m no expert but I have taken a few formal classes on the subject, so I do have some insight to share. Character design at its core is usually quantified by how much of a character’s personality can be clearly determined from sight alone and how recognizable their silhouette is (though I’m not gonna touch on that today). Now there’s a lot of factors that go into both, but the fundamental thing that contributes to both is something known as shape language.

Shape has meaning. What that meaning is often depends on culture factors that determine your associations, but the Western simplification of shape is that circles are good-natured, rectangles/ squares are reliable, and triangles are energized. (these are my own personal words for them, there are countless ways to go about describing these associations) Shapes are then combined with each other to create more complex associations, and so on and so forth. It’s impossible to create a character without evoking some form of shape language, because art at its core is just shapes. The classic example are the round shapes seen in Mickey Mouse, though often times it’s far more subtle, like how Barbie has soft, round lines in her hair and face, but her hourglass figure is comprised of triangles to tell you she’s sexy, but the soft curves say she’s sweet not sexual— and it quickly gets very complicated. Basically character designs are rarely comprised of one shape alone, and when combined the “vibes” they evoke become complex.

So what does this have to do with Genshin? Genshin has poor shape language. The most obvious example of this are the faces. Genshin has same face syndrome, which I partially contribute to budget constraints with the models seeing as they reuse them over and over. Though it also has a lot to do with Genshin’s need for their characters to be conventionally attractive. Everyone must be beautiful and, as the current trend in anime artstyles dictates, not look a day over 12. The only thing that changes is the eye shape, but even then, it really doesn’t. There’s diversity between the male and female models, but calling it diversity seems generous, because they are practically the same. All the viewer has to go on to differentiate between faces are the expressions (and color but we’ll get there), which are also limited by the models.

The poor quality of the shape language continues into the bodies, seeing as the only thing that really changes is the height, not a lot of room for show casing contrast. (Also body diversity is just a good thing to have for the sake of having body diversity.) Visual contrast is one of the key things good shape language should deliver. It’s within this contrast that the viewer will have the opportunity to compare and thus make these associations. One character design may tell you things based on previous knowledge but it’s like an experiment without a control group.

Then we get to the character’s outfits and hairstyles. While it’s true there is a fair amount of diversity in clothing, the shape language continues to falter. Genshin characters have so much going on constantly in their designs that it seems like that should provide plenty of opportunities to showcase personality. Unfortunately what ultimately happens is that the details compete amongst themselves so much that they overshadow any sort of unified message they might have had about who this character is. Basically there’s too many different shapes. They don’t create a pattern and therefore don’t form any strong associations. You can have a good design with a lot of details but they should communicate a pattern together. A design is not good simply because it has a lot of detail. I will say there are definitely times where the clothing and hair do actually come through to tell me stuff about the character, but overall this over designing tends to be a detriment.

Genshin’s hair while in different styles usually relies on the same type of pointy strands and blunt edges.

(these characters were randomly selected to prove my point that you can quite literally pick any character in genshin and they will have at least one of these two components)

On their own pointy strands might tell us something, but considering every character has them, the pattern within a single character is rendered moot. “If everyone’s super, no one is.” Of course how they choose to wear their hair does speak to the character but its effect is limited when the structure of the hair is fundamentally the same. And then when you consider that the styling of many of these hairstyles doesn’t actually say a whole lot, it becomes obvious that Genshin is more concerned with creating hair that stands out. The problem is that details, asymmetry for example, normally tell us about the character, but considering so many hairstyles utilize asymmetry, it looses its meaning. Overall I will say I think Genshin is more of a 50/50 toss up on whether or not the hair suits the character.

I want to take a moment to point out a couple hair style designs in Genshin I think are really lovely and work very well.

And now I would like to do the same with some outfits.

(honorable mention to Bennett for being over accessorized in a way that actually tells you about his personality (goggles, a scar, bandaids, work gloves, utility belt), to Barbara for somehow mashing the concept of a nun and an idol together, to Klee for her childish whimsy and finally to Scaramoche for the sheer amount of subtle character growth motifs fit into all three of his outfits (the cultural stuff is really cool too))

Genshin I will say does a great job of creating and repeatedly using the elemental imagery as well as Khaneira’ah’s star. I also appreciate that every Archon has that ombre hair shift that glows during their burst. Makes them feel unique.

I think Genshin shines the brightest when they successfully incorporate cultural elements into their designs however, the only nation that does this with any sort of consistency is Inazuma. Inazuma’s aesthetic is so instantly recognizable. No one dresses exactly the same, but there are common through lines in the shoes, the style of the armor, and patterns in the clothes. (The design aesthetic is so strong that even after Scara got a Sumeru makeover he managed to keep elements that were clearly identifiable as Inazuman) Every other nation falls short in this department. I will give credit to the knights as there is some level of consistency in their designs, mostly in the metallic detailing; not quite a uniform but there is some commonality. Liyue does have cultural influence that definitely shows but it suffers from an overall lack of consistency in aesthetic, and doesn’t lean into its Chinese inspiration the same way Inazuma does. Mondstadt on the other hand is just vaguely European, but also half the time not even.

And then there’s Sumeru. I distinctly remember looking at the full Sumeru cast the first time and thinking that none of the them looked like they came from the same place. (It’s almost as if Sumeru is based on a bunch of separate countries that are culturally very different.) Pretty much no character has any real ties to any any real culture, but instead they just sorta grab vague elements. And at its worse just leans into orientalism (Nilou and Dori). I think personality wise the designs do a fairly stable job of saying at least something about their characters (Dehya and Kaveh). The designs do well individually but between the vague references and inconsistencies they falter. (I will say Cyno’s whole design being a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh is both hilarious, charming, and also mildly appropriative.)

On the topic of appropriation I think it’s important to note that Inazuma suffers from this too. While I absolutely love the way a lot of Japanese elements were integrated, outfits like Yae Miko’s shrine maiden garb bring forth this sexualization of cultural dress that I’m not particularly fond of. But then again you can also critique Rosaria’s sexy nun design for the same thing.

I also want to touch on something briefly because it’s important to note, but it’s a separate, much bigger conversation; Genshin, like anime, falls into a trap of catering their style to lolicon and shotacon enjoyers. It’s the reason all the characters look so young, why all the age discourse exists, why they refuse to confirm ages, and why all the children with the toddler model have some weird age work around. I don’t like it. It’s gross.

Another brief mention because it’s its own conversation; the female characters in Genshin are often over sexualized. Their clothes are skin tight, they almost always have weird random cut-outs, their skirts and dresses are designed to show off their breasts and asses, and all of their designs are high fem regardless of their personality. Give a female character baggy pants Genshin I dare you. Dori doesn’t count, she’s a toddler model in just a bra. I don’t have a problem with a female character being hot, but when that’s the only requirement…. it’s tiring. The classic female character design video game debate…. yah.

I think my overarching issue with Genshin’s clothing design is it says nothing about whose these people are. What jobs do they do? What do these accessories say about them personally? Take Yanfei. She’s a lawyer, yet nothing about her outfit speaks to that in the slightest. I remember the first time I sat down and looked at all the playable characters with a friend of mine. I didn’t play at the time and we thought it would be fun to see if I could guess their personalities. As you can imagine I did pretty poorly, and that’s because these designs just don’t suggest a whole lot.

And then we get to color.

Color is probably the most complicated part of art let alone character design. I feel as though we all have some familiarity with the concept of color coding in character design. The classic red/blue character foils. Color often suggests specific traits similar to the way shape language does, except unlike shape language color coding doesn’t always apply. You can’t just assign a character a color and call it coding, the character has to physically have that color on them in some significant manner. For example Naruto is clearly an orange coded character. He appears in the color throughout the series, but I couldn’t classify Eren Yeager as a green coded character even if it suited his personality (which it doesn’t) because it’s a uniform everyone wears. Attack on Titan does not evoke color coding the way Naruto does, so it’s not applicable.

With Genshin color is complicated. Genshin does have an established color pattern for all the elements, but not every character wears the color of their element. Now normally I would say just having a color pattern for the elements wouldn’t be enough to justify character color coding (since it would fall back into the uniform category), but in Genshin their visions connect to their personalities, so therefore the color of the elements is connected to them. For some the color coding is very obvious (Kaeya & Diluc) and for others it’s practically nonexistent (Yun Jin & Heizou). In all honestly I don’t know what to make of this other than Genshin is inconsistent in their elemental color coding but always consistent in their high saturation. Because color is complicated and a weaker area of mine it is equally likely that I’m missing something or that Genshin isn’t coding anything and it’s all pure aesthetics.

Which brings me to my final point; aesthetics. Hoyo as a company cares that you spend money. That is the number one goal at the end of the day. That’s why all their characters are conventionally attractive, why their art style is the way it is, why their shape language suffers, and why their outfits are overly detailed. It’s all about aesthetics. As a brand Genshin cares less about their story and more about how pretty their characters look, because if their characters are pretty then you’ll spend money. It’s not like Hoyo designed characters with bad shape language because they were ignorant. They knew exactly what they were doing when they sculpted every last visually pleasing strand of pointy hair.

Which brings me back to the real question that people were actually arguing over in the first place; are Genshin characters ugly?

I can’t answer that question. I mean they weren’t designed to be ugly, but if they don’t appeal to your taste, then to you they are ugly. But it’s more important to understand that “bad” and “ugly” are not the same. Genshin character designs are bad by professional standards but that doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Genshin designs can be both bad and likable, bad and pretty, bad and cute. Those are two vastly different things. It’s the same way people adore cult classic movies. They’re not good in the eyes of a critic, otherwise they wouldn’t be niche. They’re cult classics because people like them. Personal taste is just that. Personal.

But the most important question of all; do I like the Genshin Impact character designs?

I didn’t use to but I gotta say, they’ve grown on me.

[canichangemyblogname]

I watched all eight episodes of season 1 of Blue Eye Samurai over the weekend. I then went browsing because I wanted to read some online reviews of the show to see what people were thinking of it and also because I wanted to interact with gifs and art, as the series is visually stunning.

Yet, in my search for opinions on the show, I came across several points I'd like to address in my own words:

Mizu’s history and identity are revealed piece-by-piece and the “peaches” scene with Mizu and Ringo at the lake is intended to be a major character reveal. I think it’s weird that some viewers got angry over other viewers intentionally not gendering Mizu until that reveal, rather than immediately jumping to gender the character as the other characters in the show do. The creators intentionally left Mizu’s gender and sexuality ambiguous (and quite literally wrote in lines to lead audiences to question both) to challenge the viewer’s gut assumption that this lone wolf samurai is a man. That intentional ambiguity will lead to wide and ambiguous interpretations of where Mizu fits in, if Mizu fits in at all. But don't just take my word for this:

Re: above. I also think it’s weird that some viewers got upset over other viewers continuing to acknowledge that Mizu has a very complicated relationship with her gender, even after that reveal. Canonically, she has a very complicated relationship with her identity. The character is intended to represent liminality in identity, where she’s often between identities in a world of forced binaries that aren’t (widely) socially recognized as binaries. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:

Mizu is both white and Japanese, but she is also not white and not Japanese simultaneously (too white to be Japanese and too Japanese to be white). She’s a woman and a man. She’s a man who’s a woman. She’s also a woman who’s not a woman (yet also not quite a man). But she’s also a woman; the creators said so. Mizu was raised as a boy and grew into a man, yet she was born a girl, and boyhood was imposed upon her. She’s a woman when she’s a man, a man when she’s a man, and a woman when she’s a woman.

Additionally, Mizu straddles the line between human and demon. She’s a human in the sense she’s mortal but a demon in the sense she’s not. She's human yet otherworldly. She's fallible yet greatness. She's both the ronin and the bride, the samurai and the onryō. In short, it’s complicated, and that’s the point. Ignoring that ignores a large part of her internal character struggle and development.

Mizu is intended to represent an “other,” someone who stands outside her society in every way and goes to lengths to hide this “otherness” to get by. Gender is a mask; a tool. She either hides behind a wide-brimmed hat, glasses, and laconic anger, or she hides behind makeup, her dress, and a frown. She fits in nowhere, no matter the identity she assumes. Mizu lives in a very different time period within a very different sociocultural & political system where the concept of gender and the language surrounding it is unlike what we are familiar with in our every-day lives. But, again, don’t just take my word for this:

It’s also weird that some viewers have gotten upset over the fact women and queer people (and especially queer women) see themselves in Mizu. Given her complicated relationship with identity under the patriarchy and colonial violence, I think Mizu is a great character for cis-het women and queer folks alike to relate to. Her character is also great for how she breaks the mold on the role of a biracial character in narratives about identity (she’s not some great bridge who will unite everyone). It does not hurt anyone that gender-fluid and nonbinary people see themselves in Mizu's identity and struggle with identity. It does not hurt anyone that lesbians see themselves in the way Mizu expresses her gender. It does not hurt anyone that trans men see themselves in Mizu's relationship with manhood or that trans women can see themselves in Mizu when Mama forces her to be a boy. It's also really cool that cis-het women see themselves in Mizu's struggles to find herself. Those upset over these things are missing critical aspects of Mizu's character and are no different from the other characters in the story. The only time Mizu is herself is when she’s just Mizu (“…her gender was Mizu”), and many of the other characters are unwilling to accept "just Mizu." Accepting her means accepting the complicatedness of her gender.

Being a woman under the patriarchy is complicated and gives women a complicated relationship with their gender and identity. It is dangerous to be a woman. Women face violence for being women. Being someone who challenges sex-prescribed norms and roles under patriarchy also gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to usurp gender norms and roles (then combine that with being a woman...). People who challenge the strict boxes they're assigned face violence for existing, too. Being a racial or ethnic minority in a racially homogeneous political system additionally gives someone a complicated relationship with their identity. It is dangerous to be an ethnic minority when the political system is reproduced on your exclusion and otherness. They, too, face violence for the circumstances of their birth. All of these things are true. None of them take away from the other.

Mizu is young-- in her early 20s-- and she has been hurt in deeply affecting ways. She's angry because she's been hurt in so many different ways. She's been hurt by gender violence, like "mama's" misogyny and the situation of her birth (her mother's rape and her near murder as a child), not to mention the violent and dehumanizing treatment of the women around her. She's been hurt by racial violence, like the way she has been tormented and abused since childhood for the way she looks (with people twice trying to kill her for this before adulthood). She's been hurt by state-sanctioned violence as she faces off against the opium, flesh, and black market traders working with white men in contravention of the Shogun's very policies, yet with sanction from the Shogun. She's been hurt by colonial violence, like the circumstances of her birth and the flood of human trafficking and weapons and drug trafficking in her country. She's had men break her bones and knock her down before, but only Fowler sexually differentiated her based on bone density and fracture.

Mizu also straddles the line between victim and murderer.

It seems like Mizu finding her 'feminine' and coming to terms with her 'female side' may be a part of her future character development. Women who feel caged by modern patriarchal systems and alienated from their bodies due to the patriarchy will see themselves in Mizu. They understand a desire for freedom that the narrow archetypes of the patriarchy do not afford them as women, and they see their anger and their desire for freedom in Mizu. This, especially considering that Mizu's development was driven by one of the creators' own experiences with womanhood:

No, Mizu does not pass as a man because she "hates women" or because she hates herself as a woman or being a woman. There are actual on-screen depictions of Mizu's misogyny, like her interactions with Akemi, and dressing like a man is not an instance of this. Mizu shows no discomfort with being a woman or being seen as a woman, especially when she intends to pass herself as and present as a woman. Mizu also shows the women in the series more grace and consideration than any man in the show, in whatever capacity available to her socially and politically, without revealing herself; many of the women have remarked that she is quite unlike other men, and she's okay with that, too.

When she lives on the farm with Mama and Mikio, Mizu shows no discomfort once she acclimates to the new life. But people take this as conclusive evidence of the "only time" she was happy. She was not. This life was also a dance, a performance. The story of her being both the ronin and the onryō revealed to the audience that this lifestyle also requires her to wear a mask and dance, just as the bride does. This mask is makeup, a wedding dress, and submission, and this performance is her gender as a wife. She still understands that she cannot fully be herself and only begins to express happiness and shed her reservation when she believes she is finally safe to be herself. Only to be betrayed. Being a man is her safety, and it is familiar. Being a boy protected her from the white men as a child, and it might protect her heart now.

Mizu shows no discomfort with being known as a woman, except when it potentially threatens her goals (see Ringo and the "peaches" scene). She also shows no discomfort with being known as, seen as, or referred to as a man. As an adult, she seems okay- even familiar- with people assuming she's a man and placing her into the role of a man. Yet, being born a girl who has boyhood violently imposed upon her (she did not choose what mama did to her) is also an incredibly important part of her lived experience. Being forced into boyhood, but growing into a man anyway became part of who she is. But, being a man isn’t just a part of who she became; it’s also expedient for her goals because men and women are ontologically different in her world and the system she lives under.

She's both because she's neither, because- ontologically- she fits nowhere. When other characters point out how "unlike" a man she is, she just shrugs it off, but not in a "well, yeah, because I'm NOT a man" sort of way, but in an "I'm unlike anyone, period," sort of way. She also does not seem offended by Madam Kaji saying that Mizu’s more man than any who have walked through her door.

(Mizu doesn’t even see herself as human, let alone a woman, as so defined by her society. And knowing that creators have stated her future arc is about coming into her “feminine era” or energy, I am actually scared that this show might fall into the trope of “domesticating”/“taming” the independent woman, complete with an allegory that her anger and lack of human-ness [in Mizu’s mind] is a result of a woman having too much “masculine energy” or being masculine in contravention of womanness.)

Some also seem to forget that once Mama and Mikio are dead, no one knows who she is or where she came from. They do not have her background, and they do not know about the bounty on her (who levied the bounty and why has not yet been explained). After their deaths, she could have gone free and started anew somehow. But in that moment, she chose to go back to life as a man and chose to pursue revenge for the circumstances of her birth. Going forward, this identity is no longer imposed upon her by Mama, or a result of erroneous conclusions from local kids and Master Eiji; it was because she wanted people to see her as a man and she was familiar with navigating her world, and thus her future, as a man. And it was because she was angry, too, and only men can act on their anger.

I do think it important to note that Mizu really began to allow herself to be vulnerable and open as a woman, until she was betrayed. The question I've been rattling around is: is this because she began to feel safe for the first time in her life, or is this part of how she sees women ontologically? Because she immediately returns to being a man and emotionally hard following her betrayal. But, she does seem willing to confide in Master Eiji, seek his advice, and convey her anxieties to him.

Being a man also confines Mizu to strict social boxes, and passing herself as a man is also dangerous.

Mizu doesn't suddenly get to do everything and anything she wants because she passes as a man. She has to consider her safety and the danger of her sex being "found out." She must also consider what will draw unnecessary attention to her and distract her from her goals. Many viewers, for example, were indignant that she did not offer to chaperone the mother and daughter and, instead, left them to the cold, only to drop some money at their feet later. The indignity fails consider that while she could bribe herself inside while passing as a man, she could not bribe in two strangers. Mizu is a strange man to that woman and does not necessarily have the social position to advocate for the mother and daughter. She also must consider that causing small social stirs would distract from her goals and draw certain attention to her. Mizu is also on a dangerous and violent quest.

Edo Japan was governed by strict class, age, and gender rules. Those rules applied to men as well as women. Mizu is still expected to act within these strict rules when she's a man. Being a man might allow her to pursue revenge, but she's still expected to put herself forward as a man, and that means following all the specific rules that apply to her class as a samurai, an artisan (or artist), and a man. That wide-brimmed hat, those orange-tinted glasses, and her laconic tendencies are also part of a performance. Being a boy is the first mask she wore and dance she performed, and she was originally (and tragically) forced into it.

Challenging the normative identities of her society does not guarantee her safety. She has limitations because of her "otherness," and the transgression of sex-prescribed roles has often landed people in hot water as opposed to saving them from boiling. Mizu is passing herself off as a man every day of her life at great risk to her. If her sex is "found out" on a larger scale, society won’t resort to or just start treating her as a woman. There are far worse fates than being perceived as a woman, and hers would not simply be a tsk-tsk, slap on the wrist; now you have to wear makeup. Let's not treat being a woman-- even with all the pressures, standards, fears, and risks that come with existing as a woman-- as the worst consequence for being ‘found out’ for transgressing normative identity.

The violence Mizu would face upon being "found out" won’t only be a consequence of being a "girl." Consider not just the fact she is female and “cross-dressing” (outside of theater), but also that she is a racial minority.

I also feel like many cis-het people either ignore or just cannot see the queerness in challenging gender roles (and thus also in stories that revolve around a subversion of sex-prescribed gender). They may not know how queerness-- or "otherness"-- leads to challenging strict social stratifications and binaries nor how challenging them is seen by the larger society as queer ("strange," "suspicious," "unconventional," even "dishonorable," and "fraudulent"), even when "queerness" (as in LGBTQ+) was not yet a concept as we understand it today.

Gender and sexuality- and the language we use to communicate who we are- varies greatly across time and culture. Edo Japan was governed by strict rules on what hairstyles, clothes, and weapons could be worn by which gender, age, and social group, and this was often enshrined in law. There were specific rules about who could have sex with whom and how. These values and rules were distinctly Japanese and would not incorporate Western influences until the late 1800s. Class was one of the most consequential features to define a person's fate in feudal Japan, and gender was quite stratified. This does not mean it's inappropriate for genderqueer people to see themselves in Mizu, nor does this mean that gender-variant identities didn’t exist in Edo Japan.

People in the past did not use the same language we do today to refer to themselves. Example: Alexander The Great did not call himself a "bisexual." We all understand this. However, there is a very weird trend of people using these differences in language and cultures across time to deny aspects of a historical person's life that societies today consider taboo, whether these aspects were considered taboo during that historical time period or not. Same example: people on Twitter complaining that Netflix "made" Alexander The Great "gay," and after people push back and point out that the man did, in fact, love and fuck men, hitting back with "homosexuality wasn't even a word back then" or "modern identity didn't exist back then." Sure, that word did not exist in 300s BCE Macedonia, but that doesn't mean the man didn't love men, nor does that mean that we can't recognize that he'd be considered "queer" by today's standards and language.

Genderqueer, as a word and as the concept is understood today, did not exist in feudal Japan, but the people did and feudal Japan had its own terms and concepts that referred to gender variance. But while the show takes place in Edo Japan, it is a modern adult animation series made by a French studio and two Americans (nationality). Mizu is additionally a fictional character, not a historical figure. She was not created in a vacuum. She was created in the 21st century and co-written by a man who got his start writing for Sex in the City and hails from a country that is in the midst of a giant moral panic about genderqueer/gender-variant people and gender non-conforming people.

This series was created by two Americans (nationality) for an American company. In some parts of that country, there are laws on the book strictly defining the bounds of men and women and dictating what clothes men and women could be prosecuted for wearing. Changes in language and identity over time mean that we can recognize that if Mizu lived in modern Texas, the law would consider her a drag performer, and modern political movements in the show creators' home country would include her under the queer umbrella.

So, yeah, there will also be genderqueer people who see themselves in Mizu, and there will be genderqueer fans who are firm about Mizu being queer to them and in their “headcanons.” The scene setting being Edo Japan, does not negate the modern ideas that influence the show. "Nonbinary didn't exist in Edo Japan" completely ignores that this show was created to explore the liminality of modern racial, gender, class, and normative identities. One of the creators was literally inspired by her own relationship with her biracial identity.

Ultimately, the fact Mizu, at this point in her journey, chooses to present and pass as a man and the fact her presented gender affects relationship dynamics with other characters (see: Taigen) gives this story a queer undertone. And this may have been largely unintentional: "She’s a girl, and he’s a guy, so, of course, they get together," < ignoring how said guy thinks she’s a guy and that she intentionally passes herself as a guy. Audiences ARE going to interpret this as queer because WE don’t live in Edo-era Japan. And I feel like people forget that Mizu can be a woman and the story can still have queer undertones to it at the same time.

[barbwritesstuff]

Around the language of fatness, I’m a different anon from the original asker but I wanted to try and offer an additional perspective on the discussion. I super don’t mean this to be a criticism or condemnation of you as an individual or as a writer, but I know that this is a conversation that can be difficult to break into for a lot of people if they’ve not experienced fatphobia personally or talked to fat people they know about it. This results in thin people in particular experiencing so much discomfort and anxiety when talking about fat bodies (because the word “fat” is so heavily stigmatized and is used derogatorily extremely frequently). I was a fat kid who became a fat teen and am now a fat adult, so I’ve spent my entire life listening to incredibly well-intentioned and well-meaning thin people (and some fat people as well, especially if they struggle with body positivity or body neutrality in their own lives) try to describe my body without calling it fat, from curvy to large to plus-size to chubby to plush and on and on. And it comes from a place of love due to the fact that the word “fat” is so often only ever interpreted as an insult and they don’t want to insult you (see the ever-classic “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!”that every fat woman probably ever has heard from a loved one at least once). And this approach isn’t without merit: people are fat in different ways. Some people are fatter than others, some people have their fat distributed in different ways (ex. Shawnie is fat and curvy, which is different from how Sergi (who I believe is described in Blood Moon as “stocky” and compared to a lumberjack, which I’ve always interpreted to mean “fat and kind of barrel-chested” or kind of like those guys who compete in the Highland Games). It’s not wrong to want or use these descriptors for fat people.

I just think that it’s worth putting out there that it’s okay to describe characters as “fat” and that some fat readers may even prefer it. In my experience, there’s a kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly having to listen to thin people dance around talking about my body or bodies like mine when I know that I’m fat and I live in a world that never lets me forget that I’m fat. And I know that, at least for myself, it can be very validating (and almost healing sometimes) to hear the word “fat” being used to describe me instead of being used against me.

I don’t mean to say all this to try and target you or change the way that you write or anything like that. I’ve just always really admired how open you are about admitting you don’t know something (because we all have things we don’t know) and learning about different perspectives and how willing you are to incorporate feedback you’ve gotten from fans into your games. I don’t mean to speak for all fat people either as we’re not monolithic and don’t all share the same experiences or opinions. I was just hoping to maybe share a perspective you might not have gotten or seen before. Love the game and you’re doing amazing!! 💕

Thank you! I really do appreciate this sort of feedback. I honestly haven't thought about it enough and am really glad this has been brought to my attention. I thought I was being inclusive.

I described Shawnie as short and curvy. I described Sergi as stocky and broad. I described Freya as stocky and soft. These descriptions obviously weren't enough, and knowing that, I can now make them better.

Compounding to this, I'm really not very good at creating visual aids. It's hard to find good stock photos, and often I pick ones which don't 100% match characters. I tried making mood boards for Blood Moon but it was way too much work and was stressing me out. So, the misunderstanding could've come from that too.

[blue-jisungs]

moot game!

Your moots if they were in a kpop group?

hmmmm i thought of both ways that this ask could go so don’t mind me doing both heheh… also im not that big of ggs so sorry ^_^ also let’s ignore how long that took me….. (sorryto the moots i didn’t include, i coikdrnthibk of more :( )

@slytherinshua would be the happy virus™️, also in the maknae line hehe!! deffo an ace too, fans love her for her various hobbies n talents!! if we’re talking abt kpop groups, i think zanna fits newjeans / boynextdoor / riize vibe!!

@fairyhaos yena fits the leader role or one of the parent members lmaojwbwns definitely the sweetest person ever and fans love her for that ++ maybe a main vocal ? (i’m totally biased bc i’m judging through ur svt biases lmaowjebje) hehe also i feel like fans would love the tenderness that yena has when being around w the members :D the group that imo matches your vibe is maybe n.flying or boynextdoor ooooor newjeans

@eternalgyu literally beomgyu. what can i say. chaotic energy 24/7 but. but can actually be soft n sweet :] HELP HANNIE U GIVE ME RAPPER VIBES KNAOSJNW but yeah!! maknae line too (gremlin line fr) so deffo u match txt vibe but dare i also say seventeen bc they’re so unique and all rounders just like u

@wheeboo rania u give me leader/another parent vibes too LMAO maybe bc your writing is like…. mature?? i can’t explain it but it makes sense in my head ….. so this + deffo the visual of the group!! :D i’d sayyyy your vibe is red velvet or mamamoo

@mirxzii ROXIE HEHEHE another maknae line member me thinks!! you give off rapper or dancer vibes idk why….. fans would respect your talent,, love ur humor and be really impressed by your skills n knowledge (like languages!! :D) so in that sense you remind me of (g)idle!!

@l3visbby hmmmm deffo older members line but is so so chaotic that often gets mistaken for the maknae hehe maybe vocals?? or rap?? i dunno ….. also deffo the funniest in the group but also has like yunjin/anton vibe (like no media training at all but also very actively social media platforms n interacts w fans a lot)!! i’d say maybe ateez or lsfm???

@haecien hmmm cien you’d be like gyu too but in diff aspect: falls in borderline maknae and older line LMAO deff moodmaker of the group, chaos bringer but can get scary when serious 🫣 saur funny too ++ fans r amazed by your diff talents!! i’d say maybe aespa or txt !!

@planetkiimchi absolute sweetheart of the group, i’d be leaning forward maknae line too hehe maybe main vocal?? i feel like you’d be popular because you were on another shows and met other idols n stuff!!! u give me lsfm or newjeans vibes heheh

@icyminghao a little bit crazy + definitely super funny + talented = fans fav!! i was thinking that xdh match your vibe (esp jooyeon idk why) so id assign u a vocal/guitar hehe!! i kinda also see u as in the older member line but you’re so babied n loved by all that technically you could pass as a maknae too LMAO

[morievna]

Why Port Mafia will stay as vampires

Hello~~

This time I wanted to broach something different^^

I usually like to check fandom opinions when new chapter drops and there was something that really puzzled me – that lot of fans thinks that vampirism needs to healed and like it is the worst thing that happened to our characters.

I mean I understand feeling protective about characters – ofc, it is bad to lose free will, but from story perspective it is just another trial to test our heroes and help them grow. They will be fine, don’t worry^^

But still, no matter how this arc will conclude I think that PM will stay as vampires and here are my reasons:

PM is coded similarly as vampires from very beginning

You know the basic – both vampires and PM are strongly associated with night and death.

As part of Tripartite Tactic PM stands for night. Moreover, through the story PM is compared to night very often -  maybe even almost enough for drinking game xD

“The merciless tyrant of the night and his army of the death – that was what people called Port Mafia”

“It’s time to remind our enemies why we used to be called the terror of the night”

– both from Fifteen

“Mafia takes their role as ‘Wardens of the night’ seriously” – Dazai about PM in ch 46

“Whatever pride they have in their speed, they can’t run from ‘the night’ forever” – Mori in ch 46

There is probably more, but you know the drill.

As for death – mafia rules through power dominance and killing is not a problem to anybody from that group.It is just the way they works.

And visually too – i mean, just look:

Especially in anime, they gave him so much vampire lord aura xD In manga too, his ‘doctor’ attire is just an act and his true self is PM leader in that fitting clothing - black trench coat, red scarf and white gloves – which all are very vampire style. Through this perspective even Elise can be interpreted that way – immortal being in a form of young girl – just like Claudia from Interview with the Vampire.

Speaking of that novel  - you know there is also insanely powerful redhead with bad temper xD Though it can be just coincidence as personality-wise Armand and Chuuya are very different and have rather opposite morals xD

Let’s move to Aku:

Whole Akutagawa appearance is much reminiscent of vampire – pale complexion, black coat with white jabot - really give that feel. Also Akutagawa uses a bit of archaic language, which is something often appearing in vampire stories too.

Frankly, imo from the start Asagiri thought of Akutagawa (and maybe whole PM) eventually becoming vampire – after all, our MC Atsushi is were-tiger (as a spin on werewolf) and in pop-culture natural opposite of werewolves are vampires just like Atsushi-Aku are.

Vampire healing as power-up

If you look at it practically – vampire healing can actually be really useful for main PM characters:

Chuuya – healing will help a lot sustaining wounds during Corruption (I am 80% sure we will going to see it in next chapters) and maybe even vampire mind control will help with controlling Arahabaki

Akutagawa – healing as bypassing his incurable illness. Just honestly, I would be very surprised if Asagiri intends Aku to stay dead for good – he is just too important to Atsushi and Dazai character arc

Tachihara – as Hunted dog he needs monthly check-ups to not die. Healing would render that not needed if Asagiri intends for him to stay in PM, which is most likely as he is ‘true mafioso’ at heart

Even for rest of PM like Higuchi, Gin – healing would be strong asset as well.

To sum it up, it is just too good opportunity on too many levels to let it slip

Vampirism and abilities are not bad

It is important to look at it from thematic perspective – abilities are not villains of the story but the people who use them in wrong way.

Vampirism is not the main problem to our protagonist, but the fact that Fukuchi and Fyodor use such methods (vampirism, one order), which robs people of their free will to achieve what they want. Even if their goal is not necessarily malevolent in its nature – still it is very ‘the end justifies the means’ approach which is morally bad one.

Especially it is important that source of vampirism – Bram is just being used by DoA and he personally doesn’t want to create any fledglings. But again, because Fukuchi controls him via sword – he had no choice but to spread the infection or die. 

My guess is that we will see Atsushi running into Aya and Bram in next chapters and that after internal struggle he will realize that killing Bram is not a option - that ADA goal should be to free all vampires from mind control. Even it could go how usually vampire stories go – that vampirism as skill will be transferred to someone from PM (probably Mori or Aku, though it can be also Fyodor), who will switch off mind control.

And this would grant happy ending for Bram too – starting to live as normal human - pretty please, poor man has been through a lot T_T

Ofc it is just my theory and story can go other way – but still it makes more sense to me than simply healing everybody from vampirism and returning to status-quo. But we will see~~

Thanks for reading and have a nice day💖 💖 💖

[imeanwhynotbruv]

The Lothbrok wildlings

Vikings and Wolves

<my game of thrones / Vikings crossover Fic on ao3>

Decided to do a bit of a visual thing to see what the family look like in the early chapters, so I found pictures as close to the age of the characters in the Fic, tho some are different.

• • •

Fic ages (beginning)

Bjorn : 14

Ubbe : 10

Hvitserk : 8

Sigurd : 7

Ivar : 6

(Were adapted to fit the story)

• • •

Most of the clothes fit pretty well, tho because they’ve just crossed the wall they’d all still be in their fur coats & their hair styles would be a bit different ( Eg Lagertha would put up Sigurd and Ivar’s hair in something simple)

• • •

I’ve taken some liberties with how they interact with each other to make them a close family unit,

like now Sigurd and Ivar actually like each other, but still bicker.

Ivar is still ruthless and dangerous, but in a slightly more controlled way? If that makes sense?

Without giving away too much, Sigurd and Ivar are totally mamas boys with Lagertha

Ubbe follows Bjorn like a duckling and Bjorn actually likes it (tho he’ll still mess around and act grumpy cuz he’s a kid)

Hvitserk tends to swap what parent he’s following but does go with Ragnar more often.

Hvitserk is a scared little kid a lot but also doesn’t have a filter, he’s just one of those brutally honest children (he still become a viscous warrior when he grows up)

Bjorn is insanely protective of his younger brothers, living over the wall was never easy and he wants to keep the safe, especially after Gyda died

Lothbrok wildings

Slight differences between the Vikings and the wildlings

They are technically a type of wildling as that’s what anyone beyond the wall would call them, but to other wildlings and to themselves they are considered Vikings

They still have the same beliefs as Vikings

The Vikings are still dangerous warriors who (because of multiple generations) have adapted to be able to withstand the cold better than others

The Vikings live in Kattegat and are almost entirely self sufficient, but they do interact with other wildlings for trading purposes

Vikings don’t trust Crows and have only had very few interactions that didn’t end in death

The Vikings still speak Norse as there used to be more of them, but over time they spread out and joined other clans, so it’s only the true Vikings (like the lothbroks) that speak Norse as their first language and lots of the other wildling languages second, few of them speak common tongue like Ragnar who learned it when he was younger

That’s about it for now 😅 because I don’t want to accidentally give things away, but yeah now you get get a better idea of what the boys look like.

[stereopticons]

fic writer interview

thanks for the tag, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

84!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

337,560

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the lie between your teeth [david/patrick, M, 48k]

if i'm not beyond repair [david/patrick, M, 8k]

never knew a home until i found your hands [firstprince, E, 1.1k]

love you in moderation (do i look moderate to you?) [david/patrick, E, 7.2k]

so bitter and so sweet [david/patrick, E, 26k]

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, eventually! It takes me a while and I feel bad about that but I promise I will get to them eventually. Even if I haven't responded though, I appreciate every single one of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think it has to be (we'll always long for) one more song on account of the whole MCD thing 😅 (but they lived a long happy life, I swear!)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most of them have happy endings, I think, but if I had to pick one, I guess it would be the lie between your teeth, maybe because of all the angst it took to get there lol

7. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one (and half of the sequel) and started another!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeah. If people could not do that, that would be super.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Lol it's very funny that I did not used to write smut at all and now I've been told that my brand is filth and feelings. So yeah. I do write smut and it does tend toward the kinky side of things, but it always has a whole lot of feelings and love and tenderness behind it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a whole fic, no.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but that would be so cool!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! (B)13 Reasons Why with @blackandwhiteandrose and parallax with @indestructibleheart

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

David/Patrick, my beloveds.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The thing about me is that I am extremely stubborn and unwilling to admit that there are things that I'm not going to finish even though the likelihood of me finishing everything in my WIP folder is...basically zero.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at getting inside characters' heads and portraying their emotions. I am also pretty good at weaving bits of canon in to my own story.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions of the way things look. I don't visualize things when I read (i.e., if I read the word apple, I don't see an apple or even the word apple, it's just like, yes, I am familiar with the concept of the apple) so I often struggle with those kinds of physical descriptions. Also, fuckin' dialogue tags.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm not opposed to it if it fits the story and the character but would want to confirm with a native speaker first.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Rent.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I have not written June/Nora yet but I wanna.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How am I supposed to pick??? I've got 84 fics and I'm bisexual, and you want me to pick a favorite?? here's five that I like today because that's the best I can do:

come on, get higher, loosen my lips [firstprince, M, 2.5k]

if i'm not beyond repair [david/patrick, M, 8k]

coming home to you [gen, T, 2.2k]

with a hand on your side of the bed [david/patrick, T, 2.3k]

tangle and stretch [david/patrick, T, 3.3k]

Tagging @hippolotamus @blackandwhiteandrose @kiwiana-writes @indestructibleheart @alienajackson @jettestar @mostlyinthemorning @dinnfameron @vanillahigh00 @lizzie-bennetdarcy @smblmn and anyone else who wants to play