#the kind killer podcast
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strangekindstudio · 3 days ago
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Loving husband by day, prolific serial killer by night.
This trailer is best experienced with headphones. For adult audiences only.
KIND is Strangekind Studio’s debut audio drama, featuring a diverse cast, immersive sound design, and with queer BIPOC characters front and center. It is heavily inspired by East Asian dramas, classic noir films, and Korean & Japanese folk mythologies. The show has 13 episodes with a total runtime of 15.5 hours.
Unassuming Sujin Baek works at Eden Orphanage, cooking and cleaning for twelve boisterous children. He is happily married to the love of his life - Giv Hasan, an ever-patient and caring nurse.
Their days are idyllic, filled with scraped knees, overdue homework, and driving the kids to soccer practice - the vibrant chaos of domestic life. But during the dead hours of the night, Sujin takes to the streets as the Kind Killer, Silver City's most prolific and terrifying serial killer. The bullish Detective Dana Liu and her enigmatic partner, Detective Ilana Stone, are determined to stop Kind before he strikes again. They are given their best lead yet when the witness to his latest murder makes herself known. Meanwhile, the detectives must also navigate the tumultuous waters of a burgeoning relationship - which is, in Dana's opinion, a trial far more difficult than catching a serial killer. When the true identity of the Kind Killer is forced to the surface, the city's dark underbelly threatens the very heart and humanity of all Silverians.
Listen to KIND now wherever you get your podcasts or at the links below:
RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/66399aa455607b00122797ee
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3LCDFg6qQpPlGnW87Adyw1
Podlink: https://pod.link/1745264975
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj6i5MHmFz6wI1XV0Y8hlNg
Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kind-an-lgbtq-mythical-noir-audio-d
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strangekindstudio · 2 months ago
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Oh that's a good point 😭 I think "the kind killer podcast" works well until we can figure something out! Thank you for the heads up 💕
hey @strangekindstudio just so you know, I’m itching for any kind(👀) of proper tags for Kind.
I can add the whole bit after “:” and the name is perfect but come on
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coralaura · 1 month ago
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Yandere! Platonic! Batfam x Sable DBD! Reader
“The entity lives in the space between our world and our imagination, the kind of place that only reveals itself in dreams”
The main idea for this fic is the video game, Dead by Daylight, where basically a killer chases four survivors to deliver them as a sacrifice through a hook, to a being called “the entity”.
So following that premise, Sable Reader ends up in the realm of the entity when looking for her best friend Mikaela.
Alfred finds out as always when he notices Y/N's absence, mostly because Alfred listens to her podcast called “All Things Wicked” and it's weird that young Ward doesn't update it for so long.
The family finds out about her disappearance when Alfred demands them to look for Y/N.
Upon further investigation, they find Y/N's investigation into Mikaela's disappearance.
They travel to Greenville where Y/N's trail ends and discover the security video of the last moments where Y/N Ward was heard from.
Going on with Y/N she suffers what most survivors do, reviving and dying in an endless cycle, being sacrificed, killed or escaping from the killer but always ending up in the same place, the bonfire, where everyone waits for the cycle to start again.
Hope in this place is your way to survive, without it you don't feed the entity and therefore you are useless and disposable.
Y/N's hope is to be able to get Mikaela and herself out of the entity's realm.
Y/N manages to get out because basically the entity doesn't like Batfam investigating too much, in short for the entity Y/N ends up being more of a hindrance to have her than a benefit, I can only imagine the entity spitting on Sable! Reader in front of the Batfam, basically pushing them away and closing the entrance to its realm.
While Y/N tries to get back to the entity's realm because Mikaela is still missing, Batfam prevents her from even setting foot outside the house, they already lost her once and it didn't feel good, now they won't lose her again.
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If you get an idea, even if you haven't played the game, I'd like to read it, believe me that I at least won't follow the canon until what was read here and even if you have played, you can give me an idea according to the canon.
Most of this writing was done with the support of Google Translate, My native language is not English, If there is any mistake, please, tell me.
Taglist:
@sheep-from-rad
If you want to enter or leave the taglist, do not hesitate to ask for it.
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absolutebl · 2 months ago
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This Week in BL - Actually a pretty fab line up right now
Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.
NOV 2024 Week 5
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Ongoing Series - Thai
Love Sick 2024 (Sun iQIYI) ep 11 of 15 - This is where the teen awkward comes to grab me by the throat. No other Thai BL does this better than Love Sick (except maybe Make it Right). And it’s always a challenge to watch because Phun is so ready to come out and Noh is so not. I love what cramming 3 eps into one (and better side BL couples) did for the tension and pacing in this particular part of this story. The new version really is excellent. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here. 
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Your Sky (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - They are so awkward and I love them so much for it. They are terrible at faking romance, yet Fah want’s Rak so bad. This is moving so slowly but that’s part of it’s charm. I'm not frustrated instead I’m getting Oxygen vibes from it. Or perhaps it’s is more just I feel the way I felt when I was first watching Oxygen. Which is to say, I’m totally addicted and I keep re-watching new episodes. 
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Spare Me Your Mercy (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 8 - Gah! JJ grew up so pretty. I love these leads. (No one is shocked.) I love the lawful good paired against (we’re not sure yet but possibly) neutral evil. I love our very sus very flirty very gay doctor. A lot happened in this first episode. I’m getting Manner of Death flashbacks but there’s nothing wrong with that. Bring on the chili. 
Incidentally, if you're interested in true crime, here's the IRL version of this story. How a Nuclear Lab Helped Catch a Serial Killer from the Science Vs podcast.
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Jack & Joker (Mon IQIYI) ep 10-12 end - I got the go ahead on a safe ending, and thus I watched the last 3 eps all as one. I love how defiantly verse these two were. I also really enjoyed the final episode. I do like a finale that ends on a bang (yes, both kinds). 
Final thoughts
I enjoyed this show a lot. A caper BL starring two of Thailand's best and focusing on class struggles, corruption, and poverty, was always gonna appeal to me. But I’m not sure, ultimately, whether I liked it because it was good in it’s own right, or because YinWar were so good in it. I do wish it had been a little more Leverage and little less chaos, Dr Evils, and "watch War cry." It was a great vehicle for YinWar, and for them to prove that BL can defy its own tropes. To that end, this goes comfortably into the Manner of Death category more than anything else I’ve encountered befor (although slightly less unhinged). It's good, but it loses the plot, the side couples, and it's own mind a couple of times, and YinWar were definitely greater than the sum of its parts. Thus I feel an 8/10 is fair, especially considering I'm unlikely to rewatch.
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The Heart Killers (Weds Gaga) ep 2 of 12 - Dunk is illegally pretty in this show. I gotta say I covet his skin care routine. (I love YinWar as much as the next person, but THIS boy should be the spokes-BL-rep for Laneige.)
Manwhile..... FirstKhao might be GMMTV’s best flirters. It’s a pleasure to watch them just inhabit these characters and bounce off each other. I do keep saying “what tf are they doing?!“ with this show. In this instance, it was the dancing in the bowling alley. What is going on? is it meant to be a Pulp Fiction reference?
Also this gd soundtrack is bonkers. I *can’t!* with the 70s orgy porn music and the very bad not quite metal intro music. And then, I remember, brain must be turned off! (That’s really hard for me OK?)
All that said, both the sauna and the jerk-off scenes were much appreciated. It’s nice to see this kind of visceral physical attraction depicted in a BL, we get it so rarely.  
On a side note, I entirely support Thailand’s one country agenda to put all the cute boys in crop tops. Keep it up. And up. And up. 
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Fourever You (Thurs YT) ep 9 of 16 - I just don’t get the (new) main couple. They don’t work for me. I like the surprise gamer boys side crumbs though. They are v cute.
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Side quest: Genius move anytime Hill comes on screen to basically have Pond make love to the camera. He v good at it. Break down everyone’s fourth wall, baby. Take no prisoners. 
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Caged Again (Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - That exchange! “Are you worried about me” (attempted flirtation) vrs Junior’s response “yes I am.” Just utter frankness. It’s very sweet. All in all this show is very sweet. Somewhat incomprehensible world building, but sweet. And the head lift into the lap was next level adorable. Sun’s shy smile is everything. 
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Perfect 10 Liners (Sun YT?) ep 5 of 24 - This show is very silly. I love the sides so much I can’t EVEN. But I think it was a big mistake putting Tay into this show. Never let an OG out of the bottle like that. He gets all our attention because we think he’s gonna grant all our wishes. By which I mean, all I could think the whole time he was on screen was WHY IS HE SO FINE?
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I’m not joking, I had to watch his scenes 3x because I kept getting distracted and losing the plot. Not that there is much plot to lose. Just Tay’s mouth. I’ll stop now, but seriously tho LOOK AT HIM!!! 
Every You Every Me (Mon Gaga) ep 8 end - Honestly I’d like to see this pair handed something much more meaty. Like a Japanese adaptation? Tokyo in April is… for example. I think they do a great job with something like that.
Conclusion
This was supposed to be a linked series about reincarnated soulmates, but ended up being more like a Y-Destiny grab bag BL with no rebirth through line, just the same acting pair. The leads were excellent. And I must praise this show for representing things I always want in my BL (and rarely get), switch, verse, communication, and safe sex. It’s just that this format with the same actors but no unifying theme (despite the pitch/packaging) made for a disappointing viewing experience. Some of the installments I enjoyed, and the visuals are on point, but I was ultimately let down by style and execution, if not acting. 6/10 
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Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Tues Gaga) ep 4 of 11 - “I won’t fall in love with you” is an easy promise to make if you’ve already fallen. I love this show SO MUCH. “Infect me just a little.” Holy fuck. This BOY. Also, so much for “not kissing.” This BL is fantastic. I’m so worried about where it’s going. Japan could very much hurt me with this. I didn’t expect to fall in love so hard.
Man, JBL...... when it gets you it really gets you (then it locks you in a basement and gets kinky). We are not safe but we must sit back and suffer enjoy it. I hate this. I love this. What a rush. 
See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 7 of 13 - I think this show has a “crash into me” trope in every single ep. This ep alone had 3, plus a flash back to the first one. Still, their damn date was so flipping adorbs!!!
Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 10 of ? - I couldn’t be less interested in the stuff with the mean girls. I’m annoyed we spent so much of this episode on them. Fewer bullies more smooches.
Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Arashi as the doting bf was cute if sudden, also holy musical montage BLman.  Kai is my favorite character (as was Sky) but I'm still not wild about the blackmail sex start to this relationship. It does seem a little bit more like Kai went after a one night stand, also bit more switchy, which is better...... I guess. But not by much because the chemistry with these two isn't as good as the original.
I remain suspicious.
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It's airing but......
Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues ????) 11 of 12 eps - My source hasn’t yet uploaded 11. So…… I wait. 
Secret Love (? YT?) 13-?? of 81 eps - I don't know what's going on either.
Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun Viki) paused at eps 9-10 of 12 - I got the "stop" on this one as it's gone (no surprise) dark. Being China can not be relied upon to HEA. So I'm on pause until I'm told it's safe. If it ends sad/bad I will dnf. But for now I wait......
Winter Is Not The Death of Summer (Thai Weds YT) ?? eps - Criminals who meet in prison fall in love. I did find it on YouTube, initially unsubbed, then subs happened by which time I got distracted. The first episode seems to be only six minutes long. It is very pulp. But it is intriguing. For now its to the wayside until someone tells me what it whats to be and if it's headed in a safe direction. Occasionally Thai pulps want to be edgy and it's not a good look on them.
Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I'm weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show made it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment. Ends tomorrow.
Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YT) 10 eps - This is a little too low production value even for me + just very very odd. DNF
In Case You Missed it - GMMTV 2025 Line Up
There have been a ton of hot takes already, including mine.
Here are the titles and links to MDL for you (confirmed full BLs only), these are organized in order of the ones I'm anticipating the most at the top.
Dare You to Death - trailer
Boys in Love - trailer
Memoir of Rati - trailer
My Magic Prophecy - trailer
Me and Thee - trailer
A Dog and A Plane - trailer
Cat for Cash - trailer
That Summer - trailer
My Romance Scammer - trailer
Head 2 Head - trailer
Ticket To Heaven - trailer
Burnout Syndrome - trailer
Melody of Secrets - trailer
Only Friends Dream On - trailer
Love You Teacher - trailer
Next Week Looks Like This:
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End of year drops:
12/4 0.5D (Japan ????) 10 eps - Sales ace, Sada, has a secret that only his junior, Daiki, knows. He has pretended to have a gf for years, resulting in him being a virgin. But now Sada has fallen in love. Confused, Sada seeks advice from his junior. I sense another queer Cyrano De Bergerac. Info here.
12/6 Be Moon - Falling for my enemy's son (China ????) movie from HBD Studio - Not much on this one just a trailer, looks intriguing...... if it's from/through Taiwan, but if it's all China, I'm wary.
12/13 ThamePo Heart that Skips a Beat (Fri YT) 12eps - A boy band member and his documentarian start a forbidden relationship. I LOVE Est and am delighted to see him at GMMTV. This was my #1 pick for 2024. I've been waiting for a Blinding Lights style idol romance and this looks like it might be it (Korea and Japan have systemically disappointed me). Bring it, boys.
12/14 & 12/21 The Renovation (Thai mini One31) 2 eps - Writer turns his blossoming romance with holiday resort owner into a novel.
12/29 Sangmin Dinneaw (Thai ????) ??eps - trailer Childhood friends (Thai & Korean) reunite after being apart for ten years. As the boys reconnect, their bond matures and feelings of romance begin to develop, in Thai.
Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
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His smile. (Caged Again)
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Look at them!
Look, I don't mean to tell you your business, but THIS? This is peak Thai BL. This is it. This is What They Do Best. Sure they dabble with silly kinky crimey-whiney fashizzal, but Thailand's true BL power is right here, in the sweet awkward school-set first love arghhhhh. Yes I said, school. Bite me. (Love Sick... damn it, 10 years later and it still has me in a choke hold.)
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Hey all you idiots who thought (or think) there is ever a green flag in any Mame ever, this character if for you. This boy, THIS ONE. This is what a walking talking ACTING green flag energy actually looks like. You wanna date a dude? Find you one like him. Okay, peaches? sheesh
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Meanwhile, this, this is not a green flag. This is GMMTV thinking they are being clever by calling out Thai BLs' worst behavior to make a character who has 'slightly less than worst behavior' look better. Sigh. When meta is used for ill gotten gains.
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This, on the other hand is meta being cleverly deployed.
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And this is language play. P'ABL's favorite.
So endeth this lesson.
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(last week)
The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs
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thebeast-dennis-etcetera · 4 months ago
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Alibi
The morning had gone seemingly well, having the day off, you were able to take care of a lot of errands you had been putting off such as pulling all of the weeds from your backyard that managed to weasel their way back in even after drenching them in weed killer.
You were so engrossed with picking them and listening to one of your favorite podcasts, you almost missed hearing the doorbell ringing. Taking the gloves off, you paused your podcast and went inside to answer the door, slightly surprised to see two very professional people standing outside.
"Good evening ma'am. I'm Special Agent DiNozzo with NCIS and this is Agent McGee, mind if we ask you a few questions regarding Karen Moss?"
You shifted your weight nervously, stomach turning at the sound of your friends name.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?"
They shared a solemn look between the two of each other, telling you everything you needed to know.
"Her body was found this morning a few streets away and based on her call history, you were the last person to speak with her before her death. May we ask where you were last night around 11pm?"
You covered your mouth in shock, not believing that they just told you that your close friend died, let alone was possibly murdered and know were questioning you as if you might be a suspect. You thought back about the time they were referring to and memories of Jethro and you tangled together in your bed sheets popped into your mind. You thought about telling them, not sure if they even worked with Jethro, but decided on giving them the simplified version instead.
"I was here. With my boyfriend.."
"Is he here now to verify your whereabouts?" DiNozzo asked, taking a small peek over you as if he'd catch a glimpse of someone fleeing. Were all NCIS so suspicious?
"No, but I can give you his number. His name is Leroy Gibbs. His number is-
"Wait, sorry. Leroy Gibbs?" Agent DiNozzo interrupted, facial expression disbelieving. "Grey hair, high and tight haircut, broody mysterious Leroy Gibbs?"
You chuckled a little at his choice of words to describe your boyfriend, seeing how well he made an impression on people.
"Well not usually broody around me but yes, I guess you could say that. Why? Do the two of you know him?"
Once again, the two agents shared a look, this time one of confusion and awe.
"Uh, could you just hang on one second," DiNozzo asked. "I'll be right back."
You stood there with Agent McGee who looked like he wanted say something, but didn't as Agent DiNozzo walked a few paces, pulling out his phone and dialing a number.
"So was Kathy murdered? You said her body was found. When I talked with her last night, she said she was on her way to meet up with someone for a blind date," you asked McGee who was focused on the phone call Agent DiNozzo was having.
"Well Abby was able to go through the Lieutenant's phone and her number was the last dialed. We were just following- Uh yes- Well I wasn't sure- Of course boss, I'll tell McGee."
Agent DiNozzo came back over before murmuring to Agent McGee.
"Gibbs wants us to bring her in for protection. I told him you'd explain to him why we questioned his girlfriend without letting him know."
"What do mean, me? You're the one that had Abby look up the phone records."
"Just take one for the team McProbie. He's still mad at me for the whole coffee incident. Plus, you owe me."
You watched the two supposed Federal Agents argue like siblings, neither one of them wanting to be in the line of Jethro's mood and honestly it was kind of funny. Jethro never really talked much about his team but you had only been seeing him for a few months and 9 times out of 10, the two of you weren't doing much talking when you saw each other.
You decided to break up the little tiff the two of them were having in order to save some time.
"Alright, well while the two of you sort all that out, I'm going to change and lock up the house before we leave."
"Sounds good," Agent DiNozzo responded before going back to bickering with his partner.
- - - -
You took another sip from the little paper cup of water Agent David had given you as you waited in the conference room. She wanted to know about you and Jethro but you didn't divulge much information, knowing Jethro liked his personal life kept close and unknown for the most part. It wasn't long before the door opened and your boyfriend walked in along with Agent DiNozzo and David. You decided against giving Jethro a hug or kiss in front of his subordinates, although the both of them looked like they'd love nothing more than to see that happen.
You all sat down at the conference table except Agent DiNozzo who was wound up tighter than a jack in the box.
"Did Kathy give you a description of this blind date she was seeing?" Jethro started the questioning with. You spoke about everything you knew from the phone call you had with Kathy, tearing up towards the end, still not believing your friend was dead.
Jethro reached out to hold your hand and give you a tissue to wipe your eyes with, making his agents stare in interest at the caring gesture.
"It's like I'm in an alternate Gibbs reality," DiNozzo whispered to Agent David.
Jethro shot him a look before speaking. "Why aren't the two of you putting out a BOLO on this guy?"
"On it boss," Agent DiNozzo spoke quickly, leaving the room with Agent David following close behind, shutting the door after them.
"I think you should stay with me just in case until we catch the killer," he offered, standing up.
"Ok," you squeaked, not wanting to do much talking anymore.
"Come ere," he ordered softly, pulling you to your feet and into his arms for a hug. You accepted it eagerly, breathing in his scent, calming you down a bit.
Once you were better, the two of you walked out of the room and into the squad room, not expecting to be stared at by almost everyone there.
"What kind of reputation do you have with the opposite sex to make everyone look at me like the new zoo exhibit?" you asked Jethro, making him chuckle.
"They're just being nosy. Ignore them."
Jethro stopped Agent DiNozzo from asking anymore questions about the two of you as well as pulling you away from a very animated Forensic Scientist that seemed to have had entirely too much caffeine.
Jethro accompanied you back to your house where you packed a bag before driving you to his house, making a drawer available for you in his bedroom.
"I get my own drawer now. Things are really becoming serious, aren't they?" you teased him.
"Hey, I'm not the one who told my agents that I was your boyfriend," he retorted.
"Should I not have?" you asked genuinely worried that you had overstepped a boundary. He pulled you into his arms, staring into your eyes and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"I don't mind the title. Just know that they're gonna have a million questions for you now," he stated, referring to his very curious agents. You smiled, giving him a peck on the lips and loving the new stage you both were now in.
"That's alright. I'll be sure to tell them how you love it when I give you back scratches while we cuddle together and watch movies."
Your joking was cut short as his fingers pressed themselves into your ribs, effectively tickling you till the both of you were on the bed, him hovering above you.
"You know, had it not been for you, I wouldn't have had an alibi for last night," you told him, running your fingers through his hair.
"Must of slipped my mind but," he murmured into your skin, kissing your shoulder. "I don't exactly remember how last night went. Maybe you can help jog my terrible memory."
Laughing at his playfulness, you played into it, pulling him in for a passionate kiss, ready to remind him exactly what happened that night.
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equalseleventhirds · 2 years ago
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"I don't understand how I'm losing," Reigen said, his hands flying over his keyboard. It was so late now—too late, maybe—if only he'd used the same technique as with the Player Killer from the beginning, he might have stood a chance, but he hadn't seriously thought he'd lose—
"Shishou," Mob said, "why is this so important? You already have second place from Twitter."
Reigen laughed, not at all nervously, and splayed a hand across his forehead. "You don't understand, Mob. The publicity from something like this, even a rematch, would do wonders for Spirits and Such. This is about business."
(He would never admit to his pride being on the line.)
"And anyway, who is this guy? A radio host? I've been on TV, you know."
Mob carefully did not bring up what had actually happened when Reigen made his television debut.
Ritsu had no such qualms. "When they exposed you as a fraud? That was publicity too, right?"
"Hey—!"
Serizawa leaned over Reigen's shoulder to see the computer screen, careful not to spill the tea he placed on the desk. "Oh, Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale? It's been a while since I listened to that, maybe I should catch up."
Reigen stared at him. "You? What? Serizawa?"
"Ah... yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Back when I was... well, when I didn't leave my room much, the podcast was popular. I guess it gave a sense of... community? Feeling less alone, even when you are." He shrugged. "Plus, hearing another gay man in a show like that was comforting."
"He's gay? Canonically?" Why can't I be gay canonically?
"Sure, he got married in episode 100. It was very emotional."
"I nearly died in our chapter 100—"
-- -- -- -- --
Well, listeners, there's still a few hours left on the poll, but I'm now leading at 56%! I must say, I did not expect this, especially after Twitter users so clearly forgot—or perhaps never knew—about my Tumblr Sexyman Origins.
But, that's neither here nor there. I certainly am grateful, if a bit bemused, about all of this, but let us not forget that this is all a friendly competition. Unlike the annual War On Christmas—and let us all take a moment to remember our fallen allies against that terrible holiday foe—this is a battle of kindness. Love, even. The love we feel for Tumblr, for our favorite sexy men, for pressing a button on a meaningless internet poll. The love we feel, listeners, for each other.
And in the spirit of that love and friendliness, I figured I'd get to know my opponent a little better! A bit of googling, which of course you know means searching via every search engine but Google, what with the Town Council imposing the Google Search Tax and getting all Night Vale IP addresses shadowbanned, has led me to... oh my, listeners. I do not know who made this, but Reigen Arataka has the single most beautiful professional web page I have ever encountered. It's... words do not do it justice. I am tearing up. This... I could not make anything better myself.
A-hem. Listeners, now that I've wiped away the tears such beauty inspired in me, I can now see that Reigen's website advertises his business, one Spirits and Such Consulting. Well! We may be rivals in this moment, but I am overjoyed to learn that Reigen runs such an innovative and important business! I am nearly ashamed that, while my opponent works to make the world a better place, I, a mere community radio host, am winning the sexyman contest.
Nevertheless, we must respect the polls. Not respecting polls could get us in hot water with the Town Council, or with the demigods of numbers who lurk in the sharp edges of percentages. So since I can't hand my victory over to him, I think I'll do what I can as a community radio host, and promote Reigen Arataka's important business!
So if you're a spirit in need of counseling, a ghost in need of therapy, or an eldritch beast in need of a shoulder to cry on, head on over to Seasoning City and pay our good friend Reigen a visit! I'm sure he'll be pleased as anything to see you.
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creekfiend · 8 months ago
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today's incoherent nap thought is that The Serial Killer is really some type of lichen. which is to say: it requires NOT ONLY a person who engages in the behavior of killing other people in a specific way. it crucially is an interaction between that person and social, cultural, etc concepts, media reactions, constructs about The Ultimate Criminal, & mental illness/trauma/cause & effect.
it's an actually one of the best examples of a construct that's SOOO specific to a certain time & place and yet we don't see it like that because it's OUR time and place (broadly). but it's so important to see that The Serial Killer is a lichen. because it exposes almost everything else that is that too. who among us has not had a conversation about prison abolition which drags out this concept as some kind of proof that Some People Ontologically Need To Be Removed From Society! who along us has not witnessed people try to come up with some concrete list of Red Flags that someone may at some point BECOME The Serial Killer despite the fact that someone fundamentally hasn't murdered someone until they engage in the behavior of murdering someone?
YOU KNOW?
it's a lichen. it's not one thing. it's not. ... you know. The Serial Killer is not a guy. it's a bunch of stuff in the shape of a guy.
this post brought to you by all of the many distressing rubbernecking True Crime podcasts that spotify keeps fucking advertising to me
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candycandy00 · 9 months ago
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Forest Guide - A Toji x Reader Fanfic
Smut. 18+. Toji x Fem Reader. Rough sex. Virgin reader. Size difference. Breeding. Monster fucking. Non-con! Dividers by @benkeibear!
Part of CandyCandy’s 2k Followers Event! Any feedback whatsoever would be adored! For @idk1375.
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When you heard the rumors of a werewolf stalking the woods in the next town over, you figured it would be a great topic for your supernatural themed podcast. So you packed up your gear and headed on over. You put a post on a local forum asking for a guide to take you into the forest, explaining that you were investigating the werewolf rumors, and a man named Toji volunteered. He didn’t even ask to be paid. 
So now you find yourself standing in front of the man as he introduces himself. The first thing you notice is that he’s huge, so much taller than you that you have to crane your neck to look up at his face. He’s ruggedly handsome, with dark hair and the kind of physique men spend years in the gym trying to obtain. All of this combined with his deep voice makes him the kind of man you want to call “Daddy”.
You follow him into the woods, thinking to yourself that he could probably fight off a werewolf with his bare hands. He makes friendly conversation along the way, telling you about some of the rumors you’ve heard, but seeming to have more information about each incident than you read online. Probably because he’s a local. 
He leads you so deeply into the forest that the sun is almost completely blotted out by the trees, making it seem much later and darker than it actually is. It looks like night has fallen, though you know it’s only the afternoon. 
Toji stops in a clearing, surrounded on all sides by towering trees, and turns to look at you. 
“This is the werewolf’s favorite spot to take his victims and feed,” he tells you, a lazy smile on his lips. 
Huh? How does he know that? Wait…
You turn to run back out the way you came, not wanting to wait and find out if your terrible assumption is correct. Either he’s a serial killer pretending to be a werewolf, or…
An ear splitting howl assaults your ears as you reach the tree line, and you hear the sound of fabric ripping. You can’t resist. Two years of running a podcast dedicated to exactly this sort of thing has made you too curious, so you find yourself looking back, even though the logical part of your brain is telling you not to. 
Charging straight for you is Toji, his shirt completely ripped off and his pants shredded. He’s at least nine feet tall now, and the outer edges of his body are covered in a thin layer of black shiny fur. His chest and abdomen, trailing down until his pants cover the rest, are bare, like the reverse of a normal hairy man. 
He catches you in an instant, forcing you to the forest floor on your back, the claws on his hands digging into your shoulders and drawing blood. He leans over you, and you can see that his face has remained nearly unchanged, except for glowing red eyes and a full set of razor sharp teeth.
“You were lookin’ for a werewolf,” he says, his voice even deeper than before, “well you found one, girlie!”
You shriek in terror, thrashing about wildly beneath him. But it’s no use. He’s far too big, too heavy, too strong, for you to budge even an inch. 
“Please don’t kill me!” you cry pitifully, tears streaming down your face as your body goes limp. 
He grins, showing off his teeth. “Now why would I do that to a cute little thing like you?”
With that, he rips off your T-shirt with one swipe, as if it’s made of tissue paper. Next go your shorts, and even your panties, leaving you stunned and completely exposed. 
You scream again, clamping your legs shut, a renewed vigor in your struggle as you realize what he intends to do. 
“I could smell it on you the moment we met,” he says, pinning your bare arms above your head. “You’re untouched by a man.”
You freeze, your eyes widening and your skin burning with embarrassment. He knows you’re a virgin, from scent alone?
He draws back slightly and lets his red eyes roam over your nude body, settling on the spot you’re trying to hard to protect with your pressed thighs. 
“I could smell something else too,” he adds, a low rumbling chuckle escaping his wide mouth. 
He leaves one large hand to hold your wrists together, and lets the other slide down, effortlessly parting your thighs despite your best efforts to keep them closed. You flinch as you feel a clawed finger glide up your slit, then he holds the finger up so that you can see the sticky, glistening fluid dripping off it. 
“I could smell this.”
You close your eyes and turn your face away, too humiliated and horrified to look at him. But he grips your face and turns it back to him. “Don’t go closin’ your eyes, girlie. You’ll wanna see what’s coming.”
You open your eyes and watch, petrified, as he rips the shredded remains of his pants off. And there, between his muscular, fur-covered legs, is a gigantic erection. You’ve heard the term “monster cock” before, but you never imagined even a real, literal monster cock would be this huge. You scream, trying again to close your legs, but he’s already positioned himself between them. 
“Please, no! That thing will kill me!”
He leans his face down close to yours. “I think you can take it,” he says. Then he closes his mouth over yours, plunging his tongue into you, just as he shoves his entire, giant cock into your virgin pussy. 
You scream into his mouth, the sound muffled by his lips, as your body jerks with pain. He gives a few deep, ripping thrusts before he breaks the kiss, grinning down at your sobbing face. “Don’t pass out,” he tells you as your vision starts to go fuzzy. He releases your wrists, knowing there’s nothing you can do regardless, and slowly rakes his claws down your chest. It’s not enough pressure to draw blood, but enough to make you snap to attention at the possibility. 
He fucks into you, so hard and deep that you have no idea how you’re still alive and not bleeding out. He watches your face, making sure you’re awake and aware, eventually moving one hand down to where your bodies meet. Again, you feel a clawed finger in your slick folds, but this time he finds your clit, stroking it and then gently scraping his claw across it. 
You jolt, the unexpected pleasure hitting you like a truck. And then his mouth is on yours again, absorbing the pitiful moans you can’t suppress. 
When you cum, even you are shocked, staring up at him with a stunned, tear-streaked face as your body trembles. 
He laughs again. “Look at you! Cummin’ on my cock even though it’s your first time gettin’ fucked! This little pussy feels so good, I might just put a pup in you!”
You shake your head frantically. “No no no!”
But it’s too late. He shoves in as deeply as he can, and you feel his thick, hot cum filling your womb all the way up. 
He stays that way, buried completely inside you, until he’s sure he’s emptied himself. Then he pulls out. You look down, see that his cock is covered in blood and cum, and you fall back against the ground, exhausted. 
He stands up, and as he does so, reverts to his handsome human form. “If you survive, I’m gonna make you my bride,” he says. You don’t have the energy to respond. He bends down and picks your sore, twitching body up from the ground. “But first, let me take you back to my place and lick your wounds.”
Heat floods your face at those words. You reflexively curl against his strong chest, wondering if you’re now living a nightmare, or a dream. 
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ampleappleamble · 7 days ago
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okay, first and second times i listened alone and distracted by xmas/vacation stuff, i'm now right in the middle of relistening for the third time alongside my husband and after bouncing ideas and theories off of him, i'm starting to form a coherent picture... here's my current theory as to the mystery surrounding the death of Dr. Andrew Fairfield.
WATCH OUT THERE'S HUGE SPOILERS BELOW (BUT THEY MIGHT NOT MAKE ANY SENSE UNLESS YOU'VE LISTENED TO THE SERIES)
cutting straight to the core of my theory: i believe Khione Industries is running an unethical, dangerous, and probably illegal psychological experiment on the base staff of Bowers Wilson. but it's not the one we've been lead to believe it is, the one Drew thought it was, the one he was running. he's not running the real experiment. he's part of the real experiment.
the experiment has to do with testing just how much Khione can cut corners on psychological assessments and background checks for potential crew members with minimal infringement of crew safety (and subsequent lawsuits/payouts to adversely affected individuals).
Khione deliberately packed Bowers Wilson full of individuals with extremely strong personalities, emotional problems, drug/alcohol problems, money problems, poor interpersonal skills, at least one criminal record, and/or a bunch of weird, usually antagonistic underlying relationships between them. they put Drew Fairfield at the epicenter of it all and turned all these people loose on each other to essentially see what would happen, how far it would go, and they used Drew to document it from the inside. he was also deliberately ordered by Khione to agitate the other crew members and sow unrest between them to facilitate their goal.
was Mark Renwick's faking of winter over syndrome done on his own volition to secure himself enough money to alleviate his considerable debts? maybe. or was he coerced into faking it on Khione's orders so he could cause even more stress to the already miserable crew? with the added caveat that Khione would give him the winter over syndrome compensation money anyway as a reward for the risk he's taking for them? and once Drew planned to blow the whistle on Khione's "treatment" of poor sick Mark, Khione needed him silenced before that revelation could subsequently blow the top off their extremely unethical stress test experiment?
it would explain Johan's fervent defense of Khione's "treatment" of Mark– he knew it was all fake. plus Khione could keep him on a tight leash by threatening to fire him; they probably know he abuses prescription drugs (hence why he's been spotted by Luca in the medicine locker without Jasleen, why Jasleen initially mentioned she thought Johan might be drunk when he came to ask her if she'd seen Drew on the night of his death). Khione knows that Johan technically shouldn't be there at all, he's abusing drugs because he's incredibly depressed, traumatized from his shitty life, and lonely, and as OIC he has access to plenty of painkillers or whatever he's into. and anyway, being OIC at Bowers Wilson is all he really has left to look forward to. he'd do anything to keep wintering over (and self-medicating) so he doesn't have to face his empty life. needless to say, Johan is my favorite character.
Jasleen might have been promised extra money if she agreed to help defend and facilitate Khione's "treatment" of Mark (which would also support their goal of sowing discord amongst the crew– "her" decision that it was totally okay to keep Mark doped up all day every day was not exactly a popular one amongst the crew), which would go a long way toward opening her own practice in India like she wants, but she may also be presenting as genuine findings about the murder as she can to the police in an attempt to look like she's playing ball– it's just that some of her "findings" might have been planted/false evidence or tampered with by others beforehand, like Sienna's coat being smeared with Drew's blood in an attempt to implicate her (or to implicate Maria by making it look like she'd tried to frame Sienna). or she may have been helping to cover the crimes by tampering with her "findings" herself.
my supposition is that Scott Williams is the one who actually murdered Drew. he was offered part of Mark's winter over money or maybe a separate reward of his own by Khione to do it. Johan may have been present while he did it, or even ordered him to do it, but i think Scott is the one who actually held the weapon in his hand and killed Drew with it. he intimidated Luca into giving him a flimsy alibi, and Johan's own alibi is a bit flimsy too when you remember that it's "he was on the phone with Khione at the time" assuming Khione were the ones telling him to order Scott to kill Drew. Mark was also present when Drew was killed. Johan had access to his room's key. Mark and maybe Scott?? was/were ordered to dispose of the body, and he/they didn't do a good job of it– they forgot the trackers in the coats. they rubbed Sienna's coat on his body to implicate her/Maria, and they took him out on a sled after partially dressing him to look like he'd gone on a walk by himself, then they dumped his body in the crevice to make it look like he'd accidentally fallen in. Mark testifies that "his body wasn't meant to be found," but i guess they figured just in case it is, make it look like an accident. Johan also vehemently protected Scott and ignored his criminal record (except to "accidentally" let it slip to Matteo and Drew that he had one at all) and violent outbursts because Khione ordered him to; the extra stress he was causing amongst the crew was the entire point. he was probably ordered to defend him extra hard after he/Khione ordered Scott to kill Drew, to cover Khione's crimes.
when Maria told Johan Drew was missing, he knew he had no choice but to "go looking" for the body. he probably wasn't expecting the gps tracker on the coat to actually show where Drew's body was; he was probably super fucking surprised and angry actually that Mark and Scott put the body in Drew's own coat. he was special forces after all, Mark was just a grunt and Scott is a recovering alcoholic with an anger problem. he then deliberately selected Matteo, who was very drunk and also asleep, to assist him in recovering the body. he says "because protocol; Matteo's second in command" but i think it's because he didn't want Matteo to be able to remember much about it, or maybe to be unable to find/recover the body at all. "his body was never meant to be found." Drew once said about Johan that "he doesn't seem like a person who makes mistakes." yeah, he's not used to it, that's why Johan hung around for the post-mortem, trying to interject and speculate so much. he was panicking. he does that at a few points– trying to stick around for certain suspects' interviews (Mark's of course, back when "everyone" was under the impression he was under sedation, but Bridget's as well), almost literally trying to talk over Jasleen and Tessa during their discussion about the blood spatter findings and discovering Mark's ruse with the sedatives.
tl;dr: it's all a big Khione conspiracy, Johan is Khione's boots on the ground, and Drew was killed to cover Khione's crimes. Felipe, the irritating, rude, crazy conspiracy theorist, was right.
next i'll listen to the series a fourth time, alone, and i'll take notes on each character while i listen episode by episode while also building a timeline of events. god damn what a podcast
COLD TAPES: WINTER OVER
holy shit i can't believe barely anyone is talking about this podcast. i've recently listened to it and i'm going fucking insane wanting to talk about it. its publisher Free Turn was dropping new episodes weekly up until just recently when they released their final episode until their ongoing contest to correctly guess the killer is over and they can reveal who it was sometime in late february. i don't want to sound like an advertisement because in no way shape or form are these people paying me to say this, but i really cannot state enough how fucking crazy i am about this good good podcast and i need to talk about it. so since this is my blog my house my rules, i'm just gonna go ahead and rant about it here.
okay here's how let's do this: first i'll write a summary of the overall plot of the series, then i'll start a lil profile on each character (well, most of them) and as i relisten later i'll add details including any meta commentary i might have about them, and then i'll finish off with a timeline, a theory (maybe a few theories), and a j'accuse with as thorough an explanation of my thought process as i can muster. so uh. okay here we go
PLOT SUMMARY
Cold Tapes: Winter Over is a police procedural/murder mystery podcast. set between Antarctica's Bowers Wilson Research Station and Scotland Yard, it is presented as a series of audio recordings of phone calls, spoken diary entries, and other conversations/interactions between the base crew members at Bowers Wilson (and their corporate bosses at parent company Khione Industries) and the police officers 9000+ miles away who are attempting to uncover the truth of the circumstances surrounding the death of one of the researchers at the station: Dr. Drew Fairfield, a human behavioral scientist and citizen of the United Kingdom who had been running a psychological experiment on/with the rest of the base crew. but because he died right in the middle of the unforgiving and totally sunless Antarctic winter, it is impossible for police to physically travel there, so they must essentially solve his murder over the phone, relying almost entirely on clever and thorough interrogation of the suspects and their own powers of reasoning. as a listener who is also privy to all these conversations, you are invited to attempt to solve the case yourself alongside the police investigation team (although this aspect is entirely meta and not at all mentioned in the show itself). our protagonist is DCI Tessa McCallister, a seasoned investigator from rural Scotland with a good amount of police work and some military experience under her belt.
the story is told in three phases: first, we listen to the recordings of the victim's baseline psychological assessment interviews with each member of the Antarctic base team, second, the initial police interviews with each suspect, and third, a round of secondary follow-up police interviews with a selection of suspects. there are transitional episodes before and after each of these major phases, starting with an introduction to the case, a post-mortem examination of the victim performed on base by the base medic, and later on a talk with the victim's family, professional testimony from toxicology, etc. most episodes run between 5 to 30 minutes long.
i'm gonna plop down a readmore here in a minute (EDIT: I PLOPPED IT DOWN 👆UP THERE👆 INSTEAD BECAUSE THIS GOT KINDA LONG) before i start my character profiles, in case you want to listen to it yourself (oh my god please do) with as fresh a perspective on the characters as possible to begin with. it's all available for free (with ads) wherever you get your podcasts, but if you wanna pay £5 and get the series with no ads and a few extra goodies like suspect dossiers and episode transcripts and (if you live in the UK) a chance to enter a contest to correctly guess whodunit and possibly win £10K, you can. i've read about folks outside the UK saying they were unable to purchase the subscription for some reason, but i can't confirm because in no universe do i think i could find it within myself to try to figure out how to go about paying for free entertainment, attached to a contest i'm unable to enter. sorry, Free Turn.
again i promise i am not being paid to promote this podcast, i just really really enjoy it and only maybe like 20 people total are talking about it on some tiny subreddit and my thoughts and feelings regarding it are clawing a hole through my chest in a desperate effort to get out into the world. you can blame my offputtingly fervent enthusiasm mostly on the excellent writing and incredible voice acting. also partially on actor Atli Gunnarsson for lending his voice to a prominent character in this podcast as well as to my very favorite character from my very favorite game ever (Vatnir from Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire for those of you who are new to me and my bullshit). i watched The Terror while on xmas vacation at my in-laws' house and looked it up on imdb only to find him listed in the cast, which then lead me to look up his imdb page which is how i found out about this podcast in the first place. so rest assured, i'm not a shill, i'm just a fucking weirdo.
anyway Please Listen to Cold Tapes. my final message. goodb ye
THE VICTIM
Andrew Fairfield. 33 years old. Behavioral scientist. British. Had been conducting a psychological research project on behalf of Khione Industries using the crew of Bowers Wilson Research Station as his subjects. The experiment ended prematurely when someone bashed him in the head with a blunt object and killed him. This was his third year wintering over at Bowers Wilson.
THE SUSPECTS
Johan Gunnarsson. 57 years old. Officer In Charge. Icelandic. Former military special forces and freighter ship/oil rig veteran. Somewhat recent widower and empty-nester. This year marks his tenth winter over at Bowers Wilson.
Matteo Lombardi. 27 years old. Deputy commander. Italian. Formerly of the Alpine Rescue Service.
Jasleen Batra. 30 years old. Base medical officer. Indian. Doctor of medicine/general practitioner. Most recently worked on-call for A&Ds in London. Aspires to return to India and open her own practice there.
Maria Flores. 28 years old. Climate researcher studying glacial ice melt. Argentinian. Openly in a romantic relationship with the victim, whom she first met during the preceding summer at Bowers Wilson. Was not originally planning to winter over but changed her mind and chose to stay.
Sienna Cooper. 29 years old. Biochemist studying extremophiles and fungal infection of microalgae. Australian. 6'1" and can fly.
Greg Fortin. 26 years old. Glaciologist focusing on beryllium isotope movement in glacial ice. Canadian. Passionate about climate change. This is his second year wintering over.
Hera Karlsen. 26 years old. Marine biologist specializing in the study of married to krill. Norwegian.
Anders Sorensen. 48 years old. Base plumbing engineer. Danish. Triathlete. This year marks his ninth winter over at Bowers Wilson.
Victor Chabal. 32 years old. Base electrician. French. Recently divorced from a former Bowers Wilson researcher he met on a previous winter over.
Kristoff Schulz. 24 years old. Astronomer studying neutrino generation. German. TikTok enthusiast.
Bridget Meissner. 22 years old. Geologist studying the "Blood Falls" phenomenon in a particular glacier. German.
Jack Anderson. 38 years old. Base mechanic. American. Texan, specifically. Former military, a knee injury from an IED in Iraq ended his military career. This year marks his third winter over at Bowers Wilson.
Luca Coetzee. 26 years old. Base radio technician. South African. Gamer nerd. His mother basically forced him to apply to winter over at Bowers Wilson, going so far as to fill out the paperwork for him.
Felipe Hernandez. 32 years old. Volcanologist studying glacial melt in relation to volcanic heat. Chilean. Massive conspiracy theorist. This is his second year wintering over.
Mark Renwick. 43 years old. Base engineer. British. Primarily maintains the heating systems at Bowers Wilson. Former military, history of PTSD related to his service, treated with medicine and therapy. This year marks his third winter over.
Scott Williams. 36 years old. Base chef. New Zealander. Aspires to own and operate his own food truck in Christchurch. Recovering alcoholic, sober for 6 years.
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bitchslapblastoids · 13 days ago
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I absolutely love it when dnp talk/hint about the brit crew lmao from all their "yeah we don't really belong with them" and the passing soft digs like the "where's the hound?" from that one AP vid (which absolutely gagged me lol). I wonder if they saw all those screenshots of Alfie being an absolute phillie in the early days.
would love to know who among them was the person Dan was shitting on at that recent preshow - when he said someone instantaneously herded him and Phil on camera to get them in the vlog, said an obnoxious hello, and then walked away dead eyed like a serial killer the second the camera was off. although d&p did always have nice things to say about the Brit crew as individuals, even when they didn’t have to say anything at all. I guess these days when they shit on that whole scene, it seems like they’re more scoffing at the group dynamic of it all than the people themselves. Anyway I’m literally talking to myself here.
Agreed that their very subtle saltiness is very funny, especially bc they have consistently been soooo kind about other creators, have always had such grace (even when they had every right not to), and have stayed in their lane. they have far too much dignity, but god would I love a Dan and Phil tell-all book/podcast
Would LOOOVE to know if they’re aware that alfie was riding for phil! it’s so funny. and they were so different from one another content-wise, even from those early days!
WHERE IS THE HOUND THO.
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strangekindstudio · 7 days ago
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here's a quick sketch to introduce my angry guy who can make a pretty damn good omurice ^_^
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pocketfullofarchivists · 1 month ago
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Can I…can I actually talk to someone in private about The Kind (mythic queer audio drama)
I’m actually begging for someone to discuss it with me
I have so many mixed feels about it and I would love to dig deeper
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annabelle--cane · 10 months ago
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I got into tma in 2022 on a road trip with no internet and then only tangentially interacted with the fandom (light hcs, fanart) and I am. so compelled to understand what the fandom was like in 2020. what were the takes. why was it so awful. does it explain why every time I try to look into protocol I get a rancid Vibe and jump back 5 feet.
to preface: on scale, it really wasn't any worse than your average fandom, it just A) got Very popular over a short period and B) that period was during a time of particularly high stress where many people suddenly could only experience a social life online. tma is also a fairly political and progressive work, which inevitably leads to certain kinds of Takes. it also got Very popular right at the point where the episodes were reaching their peak of explicit social commentary and sustained morbid tone, which, especially combined with point B from above, drew out some really visceral reactions from a lot of people. nothing was actually inherently rancid about 2020-2021 tma fandom, there was just a bit of a perfect storm of factors.
having said that. some common discourse themes:
the perennial shipping discourse. georgie is the only one of our leads to have never killed a person, but really, I pinky promise that your ship between two unrepentant serial killers is 100x more problematic than my ship between two unrepentant serial killers.
asexuality: how dangerous is it? on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being "mostly" to 5 being "completely," how humiliating is it to be asexual? what is the singular true asexual experience that is unproblematic to write about?
wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this episode, what gives him the right to--oh he said it's directly based on personal experiences? so sorry, my bad, I'll learn for next time. wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this epi--
I did not like this episode. this is obviously a direct act of violence against me. why would an episode be Not Good when there is, in the world, Sadness?
hello, I have sorted all of the characters into a simple chart that clearly delineates which of them are completely irredeemable monsters with no interiority or motives and which of them are perfect angel victims who have only ever been nice and never hurt anyone, ever (and if they did hurt someone then that person deserved it). if I see you adding nuance to any of my rulings, I will kill you. this also extends to the podcast writers. #ilovebinaries.
the characters... are queer... and maybe even other marginalized identities as well... and yet, they do bad things? there's not even a single completely morally innocent character? by god, did they not think about the implications this might have!
web!martin. lol people are so stupid for thinking that the theory is at all plausible, media comprehension much? that would lichrally imply that a queer, poor, mentally ill character might be capable of badness. what do you mean we are currently listening to an arc where he's an accomplice to serial murder.
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the-s1lly-corner · 8 months ago
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Crps x reader who does horror podcasts
Just got done watching creep casts left right game videos and it gave me an idea for this post WOOOOO
Characters: jeff the killer, ticci toby, Laughing jack
Notes: reader is GN, established relationship, reader mostly reads stories and stuff for their podcast
CWs: horror talk, talk of canon typical violence
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Laughing Jack
He provides sound effects for you!
if you're reading a scary story he kind of just... pops in add to the story telling
if your podcast is purely audio he's going to be lingering around so he can just wait for the opportunity to butt in
sometimes does some voice acting for you if you ask, thrilled that you want to do something with him
actually pretty good at offering unique voices for each character though he does tend to get... very in character... like horrifyingly so, especially if the character in the story is really... not having a good time
clown logic lets him make most sounds accurately, many of your listeners think you're using a sound board or are a really really good foley artist... glass shattering, bones breaking, or something as innocent as a car honking.. its actually a little interesting to watch jack make the sound effects live because they just.. happen
Jeff
i mention somewhere that hes not much of a reader- not because hes not interested in it but because he just struggles with reading. no real reason yet but he just struggles with keeping track! listening to you read things out loud actually help a lot if you're also reading creepy stories
loooooves when you read gorier stuff, for... obvious reasons
hes not very interested in joining you on your little show, though, hes content with being a listener
a little sweet that you sometimes catch him listening to your recordings, will deny it though
if you ever talk about crime stuff and happen to talk about his murders hes definitely going to be giving you information and correcting details from the news and reports
may or may not make you look unreliable or even suspicious...
Ticci Toby
not much of a reader but thats because he just doesnt have the time or patience or desire to sit down and read something... but listening to something while doing his thing? now he can get behind that! and your storytelling is the perfect thing to listen to!
loves how deep into the storytelling you get into as well as generally just loves hearing you talk about something that obviously interests you
similarly to jacks part, if your show is only audio he may be inclined to do an episode with you! you guys switch off and take turns
oh he would 100% save funny bits from your episodes so he can go back to them
gets a little jealous if you often have guests on your show, but he tends to internalize those feelings
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kaysfanficcorner · 25 days ago
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Celebrity Crush, Part 2
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Summary: Dieter Bravo's new friend attends opening night of Dieter's play, and afterwards the two of them get more acquainted.
AO3
Author's Note:
I cannot believe it's been so long since I posted the first chapter of Celebrity Crush. Suffice to say, my life got completely turned upside down for awhile. I started a new job, and then shortly after we had a complete psycho living next door to us and had to vacate our home for safety. The last year has been so hard for a multitude of reasons, and although I didn't have the drive in me to do any writing, Celebrity Crush and Out of this World (my Mando series) have remained in the forefront of my mind. Both of these stories are so important to me. A few days ago it suddenly hit me that I was ready to sit behind a keyboard again.
So here we are, the second chapter of Celebrity Crush that should have been posted a over year ago. If you're new to this story, then welcome. If you read the first chapter and wondered why I never posted another, I sincerely hope you're back and you enjoy this one.
As I've said before, this story is really just a fun little fantasy experiment and I probably wont post chapters too frequently. And like most of us, I use my writing to work through personal shit using creativity. Some of it is drawing from reality and some of it is completely made up.
Honestly, I don't care for The Bubble over all. But I think Dieter is such an interesting character for being from a film that didn't have much substance. I feel the Dieter in the film is very different than the Dieter in my head, but what drew me to writing him this way was the thought "What is this man like when he's not riddled with drugs and Hollywood bullshit?" I hope you enjoy my version of Dieter just as much as I do.
 Warnings: Marijuana use. Mentions of depression and self hatred. Hints at suicidal thoughts and self harm. And, of course, sexual situations. Rated M/R/18+ as always.
*****
Against the odds you make it to the theater faster than anticipated, but all the while your nerves make the train ride seem to feel agonizingly slow. Every stop eats away at you. It’s crowded and you’re freezing. The thin lace of the shimmery black evening gown may look absolutely killer on you, but the elegant thing isn’t a very warm piece of clothing whatsoever. All you brought with you as far as outerwear goes is the black leather jacket on your back. The only carry on item a small black and gold purse slung across your chest filled with only the bare necessities.
 You feel borderline insane, still half convinced that everything you experienced earlier today was the result of falling and busting your head open on the Manhattan sidewalk. Surely you're laid up in some hospital bed with a bandage around your noggin, not on your way to spend an evening with your celebrity crush.
 Your thoughts are erratic. Images bouncing around in your head like the orange balls of an arcade basketball game. At first you try to listen to music to quiet the overstimulation, but that only serves to make you more antsy. So you go back to the podcast episode you’d been listening to earlier and the humor is enough to distract you for a little while. 
 Every now and then, though, you pull up the short text conversation with Dieter to re-read over (more like over-analyze) the messages. With a happy little smile playing at your lips, your fingers hover over the letters of the keyboard. You even type out a message or two before immediately deleting it on more than one occasion. The knot in your stomach feels like its getting tighter by the moment, but looking at the contact photo he'd left for you leaves a warmth in the center of that knot. His eyes are so kind, and the goofy little smile is so genuine. 
 Groaning to yourself after the fourth time you do this, you shove your phone back in the small handbag with a huff. You want to talk to him again but you're fully aware that he's busy with the show. Closing your eyes, you force yourself to focus on the host of your favorite podcast describing a scene from Poltergeist II. You can't help the girlish daydreaming that eventually creeps into your mind. You imagine that watching Fright Night at Dieter’s will go so well that he invites you back over to marathon the Poltergeist franchise next. Then you imagine making a regular thing of watching horror films with him, curled into his side on some big luxurious couch that you're sure he must own. His hand ghosting over the flesh of your neck as he drapes a long arm over your shoulder, the other hand feeding you popcorn now and again. The giddiest smile yet finds your lips, and an excited little giggle erupts from your throat. Out loud. 
 Once you remember you’re on the train your eyes snap open in fear. Sure enough, the hot, green haired punk woman across the aisle is smirking right at you as if she knows your worst secret and you flush with mild embarrassment. 
 Mercifully, somehow, your stop comes up only a few minutes later. You’re off the train and back on street in no time at all, the sun almost completely set and the full moon already hanging high over the city of New York. The littlest taste of dark purple left in the sky is enough to make your heart soar, and you're once again reminded that you live here. In this huge, scary, magical place. 
 With the help of your trusty GPS you manage find the correct theater in under five minutes. It’s incredibly obvious as you round a corner and your sight is immediately struck with huge lamppost advertisements of Dieter and other actors dressed in Shakespearean garb. You’re not sure how to feel, gooseflesh making it’s way up your arms and back as you stand under the glowing marquee displaying his name in huge red letters. Checking your watch you find that you're actually somewhat early, so there’s plenty of time to get your ticket. Enough time to grab a drink from the bar on your way to your seat, even. Some of the anxiety subsides as you pop another half of a gummy on your way inside, telling yourself that whatever happens next you’re just along on for the ride.  
 The theater lobby is gorgeous, and it's filled with gorgeous people of every variety. You've been to a Broadway show before, but a matinee of a family friendly musical is a far cry from opening night of a huge production. There are a few minor celebrities you recognize and you're sure a good bit of the crowd is press, or at the very least some sort of influencer. A few of them even seem to be live streaming. 
 When you approach the box office you slide your ID under the thin gap in the glass, saying your full name to the white haired attendant dressed like a bellhop without the hat. For a split second fear creeps into your belly that all of this really is in your head and the woman is about to tell you there’s no such reservation. But then you’re being handed a thin envelope and she’s telling you to enjoy the show. You look down at the off white paper in your hands, very clearly reading the word “weirdo” scribbled in semi-legible masculine-looking handwriting. A new warmth spreads through you in that moment, and suddenly you’re no longer questioning the reality of where you are or why.
   Once you check your jacket at the coat check you’re glad that you found the right dress for such an event. Everyone around you seems very well dressed and well-to-do. In anything else you’d feel so out of place, but in the knockout frock of 2018? You fit in nicely. Henry will most assuredly have to be thanked at a later juncture. 
 With a gin and tonic in one hand and a ticket in the other, you’re directed to a seat down in the front row but slightly off to the left. Of course he got you front row. How? Who knows and frankly who cares. This is a once in a lifetime kind of day and you intend to enjoy it. 
 Lights begin to dim shortly after you take your seat, and shortly after that music begins flowing out from the pit orchestra only a few yards away from where you sit. The sound of it reverberates through every single one of your molecules. The great red curtain begins to lift, and suddenly you’re transported into the realm of William Shakespeare. Admittedly never a subject you’ve felt very passionate about, but being here in this place and under these circumstances it suddenly seems quite magical. 
 Dieter makes his way onto the stage after a short opening scene, and your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of him. This is not the man you met on the street and had coffee with earlier that afternoon. No, this is a different man entirely. His handsome face may be the same, but he’s completely become the character he’s playing. Truly acting, you think to yourself with mystified splendor. Watching him move about the stage with such ease brings the biggest grin to your face. Hearing him delivering lines that you would have stumbled over as if they are his original thoughts is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced while watching a live play. He’s so fucking mesmerizing and so fucking talented and you ache for him so fucking bad in this moment. 
 This is the closest you've ever been to the stage at a show like this, and you realize towards the end of the first act just how much the distance makes a difference. Sure, you can still appreciate a performance from the nosebleeds, but down here in the front row? You can see everything. Every crinkle of the nose, every eyeroll, every movement of the brow. The performance feels so intimate in the front row. You finally understand why people consider it to be worth the cost.
 The scene changes to night. Dieter's character is alone on stage, a spotlight following his movements as he confidently strides across. He's making his way over to your side, the closer he gets the more you feel your stomach flip flop inside you. His movements seem both deliberate and natural at the same time, and he begins to deliver a monologue in a soft voice. His eyes suddenly flick out towards you. For a delusional moment it feels as if he's acting to you and you alone, like you're the only audience he has before him and he's putting everything he has into the words flowing from his mouth. Suddenly his voice falters, followed by a long pause. He's still looking in your direction, but then his eyes slip closed and worry that he stumbled over the line floods your system. 
 Dieter continues to surprise you, though, by lunging into the rest of the monologue with such raw emotion and ferocity. He quickly moves across stage again, giving that side of the audience a taste of it as well. You realize then that all of that had been part of the performance. Watching the emotions he's tapped into radiate from his very being strikes you with such emotion of your own. Hot tears well in you eyes, falling slowly down your cheeks as you steady your breathing to keep control of yourself. Dabbing at your eyes with a napkin, your chest swells for your celebrity crush. 
 As Dieter finishes, he exits the stage and the curtain begins to drop for intermission. The crowd claps uproariously, yourself among some of the loudest and most enthusiastic.  
 After such a poignant moment in the show, you definitely feel like you could use to get another drink. You get up to leave just as an attendant stops you at the end of the aisle. The man asks if you are who you are, to which you respond in the affirmative, and then you’re being led out of the auditorium to a restricted area. There you are brought to a green door marked as “Dressing Room 1”, where the attendant raps on the thing three times before taking three strides back.
   Door flying open, a disheveled Dieter is revealed to you on the other side. He looks frantic, almost pained. You’re shocked to see him like this after such a rousing performance in the first half of the play. Grabbing your wrist, he thanks the attendant and informs him that this will only take a few moments before yanking you into the small dressing room.
 “What’s going on?” You ask, wide-eyed and confused. 
 Dieter looks you up and down, biting his pouty lower lip while running a hand through his beautiful brown hair. The he seems to remember that he’s not supposed to fuck up the hair, cursing under his breath while moving over to the mirror to fix it. He’s got on heavy stage make up, the eyeliner making him look like a mix between a rock star and a pirate. The dressing room itself looks like every single one you’ve ever seen in a movie. Costumes, make up, and wigs strewn about. Big white lightbulbs lining the large mirror over the vanity. Its surreal to say the least.
 “I need your help, if that’s okay,” Dieter says as he turns to you again. “I don’t have a lot of time so this needs to be quick.” 
 You’re still frozen in place, slightly dumbfounded. “Help with what? You’re doing really great out there, by the way. Amazing, actually.” 
 “Thanks. Listen, I caught a glimpse of you towards the end of the first act and I’ve been distracted ever since. You look so fucking gorgeous in that dress, muñequita. But I can’t be fucking distracted while I work.” As he says this, he’s taking steps towards you with a very serious expression. Closing the short distance until he’s practically right up against you. 
 Looking up into his deep chocolate eyes, which are fixated on your mouth, you part you lips and ask him, “How can I help?” 
 Then his hands fly to your face, and he’s pulling you into him for a kiss. His soft, plump lips find yours eagerly and you respond by melting into his touch. Your hands find his waist, grabbing on either side to steady yourself against the neediness of the kiss while trying not to upset the placement of his costume. The slickness of his tongue entering your mouth causes you to moan, opening wider to allow him better entry. He tastes so fucking good, like honey from the cup of tea he probably had earlier for his voice. His facial hair feels somehow both scratchy and soft against your skin. 
 And then he’s pulling apart from you, panting slightly as his wild eyes scan your face and his hands drop down to his sides. “Shit, I didn't really ask for permission to touch you like that. M’sorry,” he mumbles, clearly worried that a line has been irrevocably crossed. 
 You chuckle, glad to know his moral sense is sound. “I would have said yes, if it makes you feel any better. Thanks for caring about not being a dick, though.” 
 He looks shy, “I like you. Don’t want to get off on the wrong foot immediately.” 
 You heart rate speeds up when he says that he likes you. “Sorry I’m so distracting,” you offer lamely. 
 “Don’t be, muñequita.” He places another chaste kiss upon your lips before spinning you around and urging you towards the door. You let him guide you with ease. “We’ll continue this later, but I’ve got to get ready. Thank you for indulging me.” 
 “You’re welcome,” you say, grinning over your shoulder at him. “To be continued.” 
 “Si, mi hermosa.” 
 With that, you’re out in the hallway once more as the door closes behind you. You lean back against it with your head tilted up at the ceiling and your eyes closed, replaying the kiss you just shared with your celebrity crush. Once again everything feels both completely unreal and entirely tangible at the same time. A giddy grin spreads across your face as you giggle to yourself, fingers lightly grazing your still tingling lips. And then the sound of someone clearing their throat pulls you back to reality. 
 The attendant is still there, having waited to escort you back to your seat. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow for a moment before he turns on his heel to begin walking back to the auditorium. Fucking really? Again? Oh well, you think with another giggle as you follow him.
 Pulling out your phone, you send a quick update to Henry in the form of a single lipstick stain emoji and five exclamation points. You receive a colorful response almost immediately, making you snort a little as you type out, “I am not a skank! ...not yet at least,” in response. 
 The rest of the show goes off without a hitch. Dieter’s performance in the final scene brings tears to your eyes once again. It has nothing to do with the attraction you feel towards him. You’re completely in awe of him on a professional level. Regardless of the messy reputation he’s been trying to move away from, at the end of the day Dieter Bravo is still a really great actor. Phenomenal, even.
 After the standing ovation and the curtain call, during which Dieter winks down at you just as he lifts up from bowing and your heart skips a beat, everyone in the auditorium starts to vacate. Some people outright leave, others go to the bar for one more drink to mingle and discuss the show. Dieter had told you to stay put, and you never did get that second gin and tonic during intermission so you make your way through the crowds on a quest for your favorite drink. 
 Once at the lavish bar with your order placed, you lean against the elegant mahogany and truly take in your surroundings. It feels odd to be in a beautiful room full of well dressed strangers as they argue the finer points of William Shakespeare’s works. You over hear a couple of people praising Dieter, one person saying that he was “just fine, nothing spectacular”, and you find the concept of difference of opinion very interesting as you quietly hone in your eavesdropping skills. 
 Just as the bar tender is sliding your drink over, the small crowd of people begin clapping and cheering. You look up to see Dieter and some of the other actors from the show enter the bar, dressed in normal clothes once again. Even though he’s forced to smile and shake hands with a few random people along the way, he seems to notice you almost immediately. A wicked grin crosses his features as he tries his best to make a beeline for you. 
 “So you’re a gin and tonic girl?” Dieter asks as he finally approaches the bar, and you’re aware of many eyes on you.
 “Uh huh,” you nod, talking through a plastered on smile, “I feel so fucking awkward right now with these people looking at me wondering why you’re talking to me.” 
 “Fuck these people,” whispering, he grins again almost devilishly, “so are you coming back to my place?” 
 You nod again, “Yes, please. If you'll still have me.” 
 “Fantastic,” he leans over the bar to whisper even lower, careful not to get too close with prying eyes all around. He orders a drink, just a seltzer with lime oddly enough, making it look like he’s idly chatting with you as he waits. “Here’s the plan: I have to mingle for a minute and sign a few autographs, but then I can make my escape. Drink your drink and wait about fifteen minutes, then leave out the front and go two blocks to the left then one to the right. There's a news stand on that corner. Wait for me there.” 
 “Copy that,” you agree, grinning as you take a sip. “Bravo by the way, Bravo. The play was great. You were great. I mean it.”
 “Thanks, muñequita.” He chuckles, smiling almost bashfully. The smile accentuates all of the best things about his features, leaving him looking like a work of art. It’s insane that a man a almost twenty years older than you is so youthful to you. Youthful and so very beautiful. The concept shouldn’t work yet somehow it does. He’s so pretty. And by some stroke of fate he's interested in you. 
 So you execute this plan, waiting the agreed upon fifteen minutes as he fucks off to go mingle. You make quick work of running for one last trip to the bathroom, collecting your jacket, and leaving the theater all together. Stepping out into the chilly night, you walk two blocks to the left and one to the right just as he instructed. The news stand is there just as he said, but it's locked up for the night. It’s cold as hell and you really wish that you’d thought better of it when you left Queens. Holding yourself, you bounce from foot to foot trying to stay warm as you watch your breath form in front of your face. It’s only autumn and you’re from a few states further south, so you hadn’t considered how chilly the night would be. 
 “Hey, weirdo,” a voice appears from behind you after a long while. You turn to see Dieter standing there, a shy little smile playing at his lips and his hands shoved in his pockets. He’s wearing the black pea coat you’d seen him in earlier that afternoon, but the sunglasses have been replaced with a gray scarf and hat that he did not have before. 
 “Hey, crush,” you respond, attempting to grin at him through lightly chattering teeth. 
 He frowns, “Is that all you have to wear?”
 “Yeah,” you pout, “I didn’t think this through. I was too worried about looking cute.” 
 “Well you succeeded, but you’ve got to dress warmer than that in this town.” He shakes his head, chuckling as he slowly unravels the dark gray scarf from himself. Stepping forward, he delicately drapes the warm thing around your neck, wrapping it around a few times so that you can bury the lower half of your face in its warmth if you feel the need to. You nearly moan as you inhale the scent of it, the scent of him. It’s intoxicating, carrying notes of tobacco, weed, and expensive cologne. You could breathe this in forever and never need real oxygen ever again. 
 “Your scarf smells really fucking good,” you mumble into the fabric, taking an obvious sniff. That second gin and tonic must have lowered your inhibitions slightly. 
 “You look really fucking cute in my scarf,” he says, pulling his coat together at the neck to try and shield himself from the fresh blasts of cold in that particular area. “What do you say we go watch that movie?”
   “Let’s go,” agreeing, you nod forward as if to tell Dieter you want him to lead the way. He surprises you by extending an elbow so that you can grab hold of his arm while you walk beside each other. “How far is your place?” 
  *****
 Dieter loves the feeling of your arm sliding into his, pulling you in close as he begins walking towards the apartment. Your hand grazes his for a moment, and when he feels how cold your flesh is to the touch he shakes his head with a chuckle. Working his fingers into yours, Dieter takes your hand in his before shoving both into the large pocket of his coat. Even though it’s cold to the point of being uncomfortable, he relishes in the feeling of your smaller hand in his. 
 “Not too far. Rented close to the theater so I could just walk to work.”
  You snuggle into him after a little gust of wind causes you to shiver, burying your face into his scarf. Dieter is beside himself as you inhale deeply once again, looking up at him with a little grin. “Fuck, this thing smells so damn good. You smell so good.” 
 He's sure he's blushing from that.
 Soon enough he’s guiding you into the entrance of the swanky apartment building lobby, explaining to the doorman that you’re his guest on the way towards the elevator. Once in the elevator, he hits the button for his floor and watches as you adjust to the warmth of the building’s heating system. You shake your arms out, leaning back against the hand rail. 
 “I can’t believe I didn’t think to wear a better coat," you say.
 “You may have suffered, but you do look fucking incredible in that outfit.” Dieter smirks down at you, one hand on the mirrored wall you’re pressed against as he looms over. He enjoys the way you squirm under his gaze. “Tell me, muñequita, did you get all dressed up like this to impress me? Did your hair and make up all nice even though we both know you don’t need any of that fucking shit?” 
 You blush, avoiding his gaze for a moment before meeting his eyes again. He’s already leaning forward and you’re already lifting up to meet him halfway. “I might have,” you say lowly with a little smirk playing at your lips. “Maybe I like getting dressed up, and maybe I wanted to make sure that you knew I wasn’t fucking around with my intentions here.”
   Just as his lips are about to make contact with yours, the elevator stops and the door opens. His head jerks up just in time to see a neighbor standing there waiting for their turn in the metal contraption. Clearing his throat, Dieter gestures for you to exit the elevator with him and the two of you awkwardly shuffle past the stranger. You’re stifling giggles and he lightly slaps you on the ass, no more than a tap really, as he chuckles. 
 Dieter’s apartment is right down the hall to the left. Unlocking the door, he allows you entry first and steps in behind you as he repositions the bolt to locked once more while also locking the chain. When he turns you’re standing there in the foyer a literal fucking vision, looking up at him with big doe eyes. He can tell that you’re a little nervous now that you’re actually in his home, but the awkwardness only serves to enhance how adorable you are to him. Dressed up in a sexy fucking black dress but with an almost timid energy is such a wild contrast. 
 “So, I want to take a shower before we settle in for the movie,” he says, “you’re welcome to borrow a sweater if you want something warm to change into.” 
 “I appreciate that. I could use to get cozy.” 
 Your cheeks flush, and he resists the urge to kiss you once more. Not yet. Earlier had been way too impulsive, like the old Dieter, and he wants the next time he kisses you to feel perfect. He likes you a lot. It makes him want to do right by you in a way that he's never been compelled to in the past. Not even with Anika, who he thought he loved a great deal at the time. 
 Dieter takes you through the decently sized apartment, noticing fondly how you’re slowly taking in your surroundings as he does so. He enters the bedroom, gesturing to the king sized bed with dark trimmings as he moves over to the huge closet and flings it open. Rifling through the selection, he plucks out a heavy eggplant purple sweater. Then he moves over to a dresser, where he pulls out a pair of black boxer briefs. 
 He looks you up and down, savoring every inch of your body in the black dress one more time before he offers you the warmer clothes. “Here, you can change into this if you want to. Feel free to make yourself comfortable while I’m getting cleaned up. I won’t be very long.”
 
*****
 You watch as he lays the clothing down on the bed before moving for the attached bathroom. He shuts himself in with a little smirk on his face and you can hear the water begin to run, followed by the pleasant sound of Dieter humming to himself. The sound of it brings a smirk of your own to your lips.
 Pulling out your phone, you quickly inform Henry that you’re at Dieter’s and you’re safe. Then you shrug off the leather jacket, sitting on the edge of the bed to undo your combat boots and kick them off. Standing while simultaneously unzipping yourself, you begin stripping down to your underwear. The nature of the gown’s neckline made it so that you’d foregone a bra tonight, so for a brief moment you’re standing in Dieter Bravo’s bedroom in nothing but socks, a pair of panties, and jewelry. 
 After admiring yourself in the large full-length mirror next to the closet, you move to grab his big purple sweater. The soft knitted garment slides over your head with ease, falling to just below your hips. You take the pair of boxer briefs, slipping them on like a pair of bike shorts. Your plump ass is almost too big to fit his size and you’re thinking endlessly about the fact that his dick was once nestled in this very fabric, but you manage to make it work. 
  Looking around the room, you try to get a vibe for what Dieter’s private life must look like. You’re happy to see that he’s still painting, having noticed a messy room full of canvases next to this mostly tidy bedroom. He’s got a living room and kitchen, obviously. It’s definitely bigger and far more modern than the apartment you share with Henry in Queens, but its not as extravagant as you’d expected it to be. He’s got a few things on the walls of the sleekly styled bedroom. Various dark atheistic art pieces, a vintage movie poster for some Italian horror film you’ve heard of but never seen, and a few framed Queens of The Stone Age vinyl's. He’d told you in the coffee shop that they’re his favorite band, and he wasn’t kidding. Not only is his tase in film similar to yours, his taste in music seems to be as well. 
 When your eyes land on the golden statue situated on a nearby shelf, said eyes nearly fall right out of your head. It's a shape you know well. An academy award, an Oscar. There are a few other awards on the same shelf. A Golden Globe, a few Emmys, and some you don't recognize. But the Oscar? Holy. Shit. That one is special for a multitude of reasons. You remember the night that Dieter won that Oscar so fondly, given that you and your parents would sit down to watch the award ceremony live every single year. Once you were old enough to appreciate film the way that you do now, the three of you would try and see every singe film that was nominated. That way, when the big night finally came, you could have your opinions and make your guesses with the confidence of someone who had seen the films. You used to look at your parents with complete confidence and tell them you plan to be there one day. That one way or another they'd go to watch and see you on the red carpet. Hopefully a dream that can still be achieved.
 You'd been in high school when Dieter won his. The crush you have on him was already in full swing at this point. You'd begged your parents to go see his film opening weekend, and when the news of his best actor nomination came out you were over the moon for him. After having watched his career evolve from b-movie horror flicks to big studio films, you told your mother and father that he deserved it more than anyone. Your father had knowingly told you that maybe your little crush was clouding your judgment, so of course you'd rubbed it in his face when Dieter won.
 Smiling to yourself, you can recall the way your stomach flipped and your heart swelled at the sight of him on the red carpet. He'd been dressed to the nines, with perfect skin and perfect hair. The biggest take away you have always kept with you from that night was how utterly grateful Dieter Bravo seemed to be there. Like he didn't quite believe that he deserved the recognition at all. It was bashful in a way that feels akin to how bashful he's been acting around you all night. The same kind of energy. 
 Thinking of the shock on a younger Dieter's face when the presenter opened the envelope and read his name to the audience, and the tears in his eyes as he climbed the stairs to the stage to make his acceptance speech, you're reminded of the fact that this must have been one of the biggest moments in his life. You'd watched him hold his Oscar with such fondness that night, and now that exact same statue is not three feet from your face. Involuntary movements cause your arm to reach out, and two of your fingers lightly caress the smooth surface. You desperately want to know how heavy it feels in your hands, but you don't dare try to remove it from its perch. God forbid you break the damn thing.
 Dieter told you to get comfortable so you move to climb onto the bed, laying on your stomach at the foot of it. It’s so fucking luxurious that you nearly moan, pressing yourself into the pleasant material. A laugh bubbles up your throat as you realize that your parents are going to lose their minds when they eventually find out about this evening. Given that they had to hear Dieter's name dozens of times when you were a teenager, this is going to come as a wild shock. 
 Soon the shower cuts off and you hear him rummaging around in there. Then the door opens and Dieter reappears wearing an olive green bathrobe. His sopping wet hair looks two shades darker, falling around his head in a way that makes him look so adorable as he smiles over at you. His naturally tan skin is slightly reddish, indicating that the water of his shower had been hot. 
 “Mm,” he hums, “wearing my clothes in and lying my bed is a good look for you, muñequita. Better than that dress, even.” 
 You smile up at him, rolling onto your back as you stretch out. The littlest bit of tummy peaks out when the sweater rides up, and Dieter’s facial expression changes for the briefest of moments as he blatantly stares at the area of exposed flesh. You wonder if he’s going to try and make a move while he’s already mostly naked, but he quietly grabs himself a T-shirt and sweatpants before heading back into the bathroom without saying a word. You can’t decide if you’re disappointed or not. When he comes out again fully dressed, smelling of tea tree oil and hair fixed slightly with product, you sit up and swing your legs over the side of the bed to stand next to him. 
 Bashfully gesturing for you to follow, he takes you out to the living room where a large couch and even larger TV are waiting to be used for their intended purpose. “Grab a blanket from that basket and make yourself at home,” he says in a friendly manner, moving to a bookshelf imbedded into the wall itself. There he plucks a horizontally placed book-the only one like this-off the second shelf down from the top. Coming to sit beside where you’re doing exactly what you’d been told, he sets the book down on the coffee table before grabbing the remotes to get the TV set up.
   You lean forward, peering at the book for not even a millisecond before you realize that it looks like a beat up copy of Stephen King’s IT in hardcover. But its clearly not a real book. Upon closer inspection, it appears to be a wooden box made to look like a book. 
 “What’s with IT?” You ask, left eye brow raised as you point to it. 
 “That’s one of my favorite books, scared the shit out of me as a young man,” he explains enthusiastically. “I take it the weirdo is a fan?”
   “Oh hell yeah,” you’re also full of enthusiasm, similar to when you gushed about Fright Night to him at the coffee shop. “It’s indisputably King’s masterpiece! I’ve read it three times. But I meant what’s up with the fake copy.” 
 Dieter smirks at you, leaning forward to flick the thing open with an index finger. “This, muñequita, is my stash box. I’ve had this thing since college. It’s been with me through all kinds of crazy shit in my dumb life.” 
 Inside is a small row of four perfectly rolled joints all lined up together with a lighter and a small ashtray. You look down at the nice little set up, realizing that the act of smoking must be somewhat of a ritual for Dieter Bravo. Much like how you view your own use of weed in your daily life. It’s endearing to see that the two of you relate in that way. You’re also relieved to see that there isn’t anything harder than marijuana in the box. 
 “Love the set up,” you bump your shoulder into his, “and I love that you’re a weed guy. I never make any friends with the same sensibilities when it comes to smoking.” 
 Dieter’s face contorts for a second, morphing into something akin to uncomfortable. “Well, it’s the one vice I really allow myself these days besides cigarettes. Don’t really even drink much anymore. Before my last stint in rehab, I nearly died. Again. And then I lost everything. Got dropped by my old agent, then Anika left me. Ended up getting passed over for a role I felt really passionate about and the actor who did get the gig is probably going to be up for an Oscar this year. Some family stopped taking my calls. I didn’t know what real rock bottom felt like until all that shit happened. What a fucking wake up call. That was a little over a year ago. If it wasn’t for my sister helping me out I’d probably be dead right now.”
   You’d read a headline last year about how Dieter was in rehab again, but you had no idea how bad things had actually been for him. Reaching a hand out, you tentatively stroke the inside of his wrist with a few fingertips. “Fuck, Dieter. I’m sorry that happened to you.” 
 “Please don’t be. I did it to myself. I let the pressure of Hollywood kill the little kid in me who just wanted to make movies like the ones I would go see with my family in the 80s. I’ve always had an addictive personality, and once you become famous it’s incredibly easy to get the worst kinds of drugs and fuck the worst kinds of people and do the dumbest kind of shit. That’s why I’m back in New York for the foreseeable future. I needed a break from LA and all the bullshit that comes with it.” 
 “Do you worry that smoking is going to make you relapse, though?” You ask, hoping you don’t sound judgmental. He’s opening up to you a lot, and you’d rather not scare him off. “Also I’m sorry for speaking so fondly of doing mushrooms at the coffee shop earlier today and for drinking at the show, if that was triggering at all.” 
 “Nah. I barely smoked weed like this before now. My thing was always coke and LSD and anything else like that I could get my hands on. Hard shit. Chemical shit. My doctor actually prescribed a medical card because smoking helps chill me out and relax when I feel like the pressure is getting too strong again and a real craving is starting to hit me. And no worries about the mushrooms or the drinks. I’ll never touch that chemically altered shit ever again, but if it grows from the Earth it’s alright by me. I’m also in therapy, so that’s helping a lot. I feel like I got a second lease on life, and I’m trying really hard not to fuck things up this time.” 
 “That’s really admirable, Dieter. Everyone makes mistakes but not everyone has the will power to grow from them.” 
 He chuckles humorlessly, “Yeah. I still hate myself most of the time, though.” 
 “I can relate to that. I used to have a real problem with self hatred. Mine just manifested in a different way.”
 He’s being vulnerable with you, almost a silent permission for you to be vulnerable as well, so you slide up the oversized sleeve of his sweater to show him your left forearm. The colorful, horror themed tattoo that sprawls across your flesh does a good job of covering up what’s underneath at first glance, but if someone is really looking the raised scars beneath the ink are clearly there. 
 Dieter looks down at it for a long moment before his gaze lifts back up to meet your eyes. He reaches out, hovering fingers just above your skin as he silently waits for you to allow this. You nod, swallowing, and the tips of his index and middle fingers graze lightly over the surface of scar tissue. His touch leaves a tingling sensation in it’s wake. He frowns then, looking into your eyes once more as his hand lightly encircles your wrist. “I don’t like that you used to hurt yourself.” 
 You reach out, brushing a damp curl from his forehead as you look his face over with a frown of your own. “And I don’t like that you used hurt yourself. Seems like we’ve both dealt with a lot of pain in our lives.”
   “Seems like it,” he agrees as a self conscious expression crosses his features. “Fuck, I didn’t mean to get so serious on you. You’re just so easy to talk to and I don’t have a lot of friends. Genuine ones, anyway.”
 Smiling, you take his hand and squeeze it once before letting it drop. “It’s okay, really. I’m glad that you feel comfortable being honest with me.” 
 Dieter leans towards the coffee table, grabbing a joint from the box and placing it between his lips before moving to light it with the red bic lighter. He eyes you with a cheekily grin, waggling his eyebrows about. “You wanna split this?” 
 “Hell yes,” you agree, grinning as he hands the burning thing over to you. 
 As you smoke together, Dieter gets everything set up to watch Fright Night while the two of you continue to converse.
 “So what was Dieter Bravo like as a young man?” You ask suddenly, eyeing him with a playfully narrowed gaze as you take your two puffs. 
His eyes widen comically. “What do you mean?” 
 “Like, what was your style? What music were you into, what high school click were you a part of?” 
 “The nerds and the goths and the punks and the theater kids,” Dieter replies immediately, smiling fondly at you. “That character you had such as crush on as a pre-teen? That was pretty much me. I had the jet black hair, the piercings, the black trench coat. My favorite Depeche Mode and The Cure tapes were worn out in my first car. I thought I was a badass motherfucker, going to play practice to rehearse Guys and Dolls dressed like fucking early 90s Dracula.” 
 You gush, “I adore Dracula so you get points from me. Man, I wish I could have seen you in your young goth days. I bet it was adorable. Also, you were in Guys and Dolls? So was I, in middle school! But I had a super small background role. I was basically just in the chorus.” 
 He seems shocked by this, “What? How the hell weren’t you the lead?” 
 “I froze up in my audition just like I always did. I have no idea how you people can act. It’s so nerve wracking. I much prefer the storytelling aspect of the business.” 
 “Really? You think so? It's always been so natural for me.” 
 “Oh one hundred percent. I had one good experience in drama class with a monologue that I nailed and that was about it. You, on the other hand, you make it seem like the easiest thing in the world. God, watching you tonight was magical. I truly believed that you were another person up there. What is it you love about acting that makes it seem like a no brainer?” 
 He seems to mull this over for a moment, “That’s just it. I get to be someone else for a little bit. I’ve never liked myself very much so getting to be another person is so appealing to me. Why I always liked wearing costumes on Halloween. I forget that I’m Dieter and I become whoever it is I’m playing while the camera is rolling or its my queue to be on stage. I don’t worry about what the people watching me are thinking or feeling, because I’m temporarily living the life of another person who’s somewhere else doing something spectacular and those people spectating don’t even exist.”
   “Wow, that answer was kind of incredible.” 
 He shrugs, looking shy again. “Just answering from the heart. That’s not what I would have said in an interview.” 
 You reach over and stroke his hand. “Well, thanks for talking to me like a real person.” 
 He pulls your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles once. “Thanks for treating me like a real person.” 
 After the joint is finished Dieter begins the movie. You honestly expect it to last all of twenty minutes, assuming (and hoping) that Dieter will eventually make a move that leads to the two of you making out and missing most of the film. He surprises you yet again, when he shows no interest in carrying on during the viewing. At one point, about a half hour in, Dieter tells you that you’re too far away and motions for you to come lean your body against him. You do, heart racing, and he drapes an arm around your shoulders. But that’s all he ever does. 
 Dieter Bravo is dead set on watching the movie he invited you over to watch. You aren’t disappointed, though. In fact, you’re thrilled that the movie hadn’t been a tactic to fuck you after all. He genuinely wanted to watch it and he genuinely wanted you to be a part of the experience. It endears him to you that much more. 
 When the nightclub sequence happens, your favorite part of the film, Dieter dances a little with you while seated. You laugh heartily when he says, “This is way hornier than I remember it being.” But he still doesn't make a move.
 After the film’s conclusion, Dieter lights up another jay and checks the time. It’s late. “Would you like to sleep over?” He asks shyly, handing the joint over. 
 Taking a long drag, you nod your head before speaking through a small cloud with a sleepy little grin. “I’d love to sleep over, Dieter.” 
 The actor takes a long drag himself, grinning as he seems pleased with this. “You don’t have to sleep in the bed with me if you don’t want to, but you’re more than welcome to join me. Or you can have it and I can just fuck off here on the couch. I want you to feel comfortable here.” 
 “I’m comfortable here,” you smile warmly, amused by him. He looks so cute when he’s high like this, red eyes squinting as an almost gentle timidness takes over. “Are you trying to act like a gentleman, Dieter?” 
 “Kinda,” he agrees, eyebrows raising a little as he puffs on the joint twice more. “Part of me wants to be gentlemanly, and part of me wants to be honest and say I really want you in bed with me. That I want take you into that bedroom and show you what you fucking do to me.” 
 “I mean, I honestly wouldn’t be opposed to that.” 
*****
 And that’s how you find yourself positioned head down and ass up, hands tied behind your back with a designer neck tie from Dieter’s closet as the man himself fucks you relentlessly from behind. His cock, thick and lovely and torturous, sliding into you unprotected with such force and rhythm that your once tandem movements with his are now erratic and messy. You sound like a wild animal, feral noises escaping you as he presses his thumb against your exposed clit with the lightest amount of pressure.
  “Come on, sweetheart," he coos, "I know you can get wetter than this for me.” Then he increases the pressure, and you start to moan deeply against the mattress to this sensation you adore so much. The most private of feelings in the most private of places, a pleasure you've only experienced with a handful of individuals. Somehow, someway, here you are experiencing it with the man you’ve crushed on for nearly two decades of your life. 
 Your legs begin to tremble as the pleasure budding in your core begins to fire up rapidly. “Oh fuck, D. Feels so fucking good when you touch me there.” You can’t see him (you can’t open your eyes is more like it) but you know he’s grinning down at you like a wild man. He’s sweating, and you imagine that his lovely hair is growing damper by the moment. 
 “Mm, dirty fucking girl likes her perfect little clit being played with? How’s it feel to have your celebrity crush touch you like this? Fucking that perfect little pussy at the same time? I bet this doesn't even feel real, does it?” 
 “So-gah-so fucking good,” you repeat the previous phrase, practically purring, and Dieter spanks you once. The right cheek to be exact. You cry out into the sheets bunched up in front of your face, wrists straining against the silky bonds behind your back. Your shoulders and neck are starting to give in a little but you’re also not ready to ask him to stop. This is heaven in every sense of the word.
 “Oh, come on. You’re a smart fucking girl, I know you have better vocabulary in that pretty fucking head of yours. Nerdy fucking girl’s read IT three times, after all.” He spanks you again, the left cheek this time. You squeal, feeling the sting and loving every bit of it’s sharp sensation through your backside. 
 “My nerve endings are on fire,” you start, panting and grunting between words, “it feels like those Fourth of July sparklers are gently burning my skin all over. You now, the ones on long metal sticks that you wave around? Little prickles of heat are assaulting my senses all at once. I can't believe I'm here with you and you're making me feel this good. Fuck, I’m so close to cumming, Dieter, please.” 
 Dieter pumps into you even harder, slamming into your cervix and causing you to squeal from the combined pain and pleasure of it. Never once does it occur to you to ask him to stop as you whine and writhe with a huge, open mouthed smile plastered to your otherwise contorted face. Dieter begins to coo and soothe you, slowing his thrusts down slightly while removing his thumb. “Good girl. I knew you had something more eloquent to say. Oh, fuck, I can’t last much longer, muñequita.” 
 “I want to taste it,” your salacious voice pleads, bound hands reaching back for him. 
 “Fuck. Careful with what you say, you sound so fucking sexy and I can’t take it.” He pulls out of you then, gently guiding your body to lay on your side. Even though he’s been rough with you (at your request), you can tell he’s still displaying a level of responsibility as the one sort of in charge.
   “Give it, D, please,” you plead more, mouth dropping open and tongue poking out expectantly when he turns his attention to you once more. 
 “Dirty fucking girl,” he hisses, his hips bucking as you suckle the tip of his length with a prominent swirl of the tongue. Eventually he’s grabbing your hair with a vulnerable sounding moan, pushing into your mouth as far as he can go while emptying himself down your throat. You eagerly take every bit, adoring how his body relaxes so completely against you. For a moment it seems as if Dieter is trying to savor the feeling of your lips wrapped around him, but then suddenly he’s pulling out and your hands are being untied. “Your turn, mi hermosa muñequita,” he growls, flipping you onto your back as he lays across the bed, positioning his head between your parted thighs. 
 And so you writhe and squirm and shake, mouth spewing wickedly dirty things as Dieter’s expert tongue works you over. Every touch, every whisper of breath against your flesh is both electrified and amplified. Feeling his mustache tickle your swollen nub, the vibrations of his chuckles when he knowingly backs off at the cusp of your orgasm and you groan in frustration at him. It’s torture in the best possible sense of the word, leaving you feeling like you’re willing to do just about anything in order to spend the rest of your life fucking Dieter Bravo and letting him fuck you. 
 After awhile he adds a few fingers, filling you up to simultaneously stimulate the internal nerve endings that were feeling neglected within your warmth. The addition of these sensations is enough to finally send you over the edge and this time he allows it to happen, gripping onto your trembling legs as he bares down on your clit with repetitive swirls. Sparks begin to build within your core, soon cresting over the edge as pure hormonal pleasure takes hold of your body in an intense orgasm. 
 Coming down from the natural high of sex, you’re aware of Dieter climbing to the top of the bed so that he can lay beside you. Little kisses being peppered up your torso until they reach your mouth, deepening only slightly for a moment before the slick lips are gone again. Everything that just happened feels like an insane fever dream for a few moments until his voice brings you back to the present. In the afterglow of the connection you just shared with him, he looks fucking radiant. 
 “I think you and I should just do this forever. That was too fucking good for this to be a one time thing.” He says, looking you over with a hopeful look in his eye and a lazy little smile on his plump lips. 
 You giggle, rolling onto your belly as you nudge him with your nose upon his shoulder. “Yeah? Like once a week we get together and bang until we're too old to fuck?” 
 Chuckling, he grins down at you with a genuine air about him, moving hair from your face while looking into your eyes. “I mean, that sounds like a good arrangement to me. More than once a week is also acceptable.” 
 “I think you’ve got yourself a bargain,” you laugh, a great yawn escaping your lips afterward. “Mm. Get under the covers with me so we can sleep and then maybe do this again when we get up in the morning.” 
 “Oh shit a wake and fuck?” Dieter makes a silly face, drawing out the ‘i’ in shit for a few seconds while he makes quick work of getting the blankets pulled up over the both of you. 
 “A wake and bake and fuck,” you correct him with a little cheeky grin as you wiggle yourself under the warm bed coverings.  
 Morning comes, and so do the two of you. Once before a shower, once in the shower, twice just after breakfast. You’re not sure your ovaries can take much more of it. You’re certainly going to be walking funny back to Queens, that’s for sure. Breakfast is absolutely amazing. Dieter surprises you by whipping up some crepes from scratch. His ability is impressive, even more so when they turn out to be delicious. Banana, strawberry, Nutella. The man goes all out, even sprinkling on some powdered sugar. The fact that he can cook and likes to cook is such a plus.
 You're not sure what's going to happen from here, but you take comfort in the way he acts as if he has to be torn away from you later to head to the theater. The goodbye you share doesn't feel like goodbye forever, and for now that's enough.
*****
 It’s Friday morning, just a few days after the night of your life spent with Dieter Bravo. You haven’t messaged him for fear of coming off too needy or creepy, and for reasons unknown he hasn’t messaged you either. It’s disappointing, but the fact that you even slept with him at all is a miracle in it of itself. You’re trying to just count your blessings that it even happened and not feel too terrible about the fact that nothing more has come of it. Propped up in bed with your lap top and a cup of coffee, you’re trying desperately not to think about him as you focus on the task at hand. 
 Then your phone rings with a FaceTime call. Odd, you haven’t set up a time to talk to your little sister today and she’s the only person who uses FaceTime to call you. Plus, it’s only just after 10 am and you’re currently working on the clerical work you do part time from home, so she knows not to bug you unless its an emergency. Curious, you lean over from your fold out bed-top desk to look at the incoming call and a huge grin spreads across your features. With a fluttering in your stomach, you grab the device and answer. 
 Dieter Bravo’s face appears on the screen, grinning brightly at you. “Hey, weirdo,” he says, sounding happy as a clam while squinting into the phone. He’s outside somewhere with trees, Central Park you’d imagine, and you can tell that there’s a bit of a glare. But he’s not wearing sunglasses, instead the pair you’ve seen him with before is nestled in his mane of wild brown hair. The gesture comes off as if he purposefully wanted you to see his eyes, even if he can barely open them. 
 “Hey crush,” you respond, thrilled that he decided to call you first. “What’s up?” 
 Dieter looks almost bashful for a moment. “Just wanted to see your face. Picture wasn’t good enough, I needed to see that pretty fucking smile of yours in real time. I’ve been wanting to talk to you since the minute you left my place the other day, but I figured it was best to give you space. Didn’t wanna bombard you or make you uncomfortable.” 
 You smile even more brightly for him. “You know, I’ve been doing the same exact thing. It’s been killing me not to text you but I didn’t want to come off as needy. Is it weird that I miss you? I know it’s been less than two days but I really haven’t stopped thinking about you, D. I miss feeling your presence.” 
 “Same here, sweetheart. You’ve taken over my fucking brain.” 
 “When can I see you in person again?” 
 “There’s a performance tonight… but if you want to you could come over now and just hang out around the house until I get back? You could use your lunch break to get here and then finish working. Plus you’re more than welcome to watch my movies and eat my food.” 
 “I think I could be persuaded,” you say, smirking as you lay across the bed, holding the phone out as you do so. “Tomorrow’s the weekend and I don’t have any work to do on that indie project yet so I’m free for the next two days. I could cook something for the both of us to have when you get back tonight.” 
 “You wanna cook for me, muñequita?” 
 “Yeah,” you admit, “I wanna do something nice for you.” 
 “Wanting to hang out with my old, dumb ass again is more than enough,” he says, avoiding your gaze. He’s acting so shy. Its driving you wild to see that you have such an effect on a man you’ve lusted after for most of your post-pubescent life. You smile warmly at him, not willing to give in to his obvious trepidation. “Hey, please look at me?” 
 “M’sorry,” he mumbles, trying to hide the infectious smile pulling at the edges of his gorgeous mouth. The sun must have dipped behind some clouds, because he’s not squinting as harshly anymore. You can see more of his deep brown eyes as they bore into you through the seven inch screen in your hand. “You just do something to me that I’m not quite used to,” he adds, “it can be kinda overwhelming.” 
 “It’s okay,” you soothe, “you don’t need to be sorry. I just want to see you looking at me while I say this.” Dieter nods, seeming to be genuinely looking at you, so you go on, “I like you. I mean, I really like you. One of my favorite ways of showing affection for people I like is through the act of feeding them delicious food, and I’d love to show you some affection if that’s alright with you, Dieter.”
  His face softens considerably, as if what you just said has struck him in some significant kind of way. “That’s alright with me, yeah. I like you too, weirdo. Like, a lot.” 
 Stomach summersaulting within your abdomen, your face heats up as an uncontrollable little giggle escapes your throat. Your celebrity crush just said he likes you a lot. Christ, this cannot actually be real. There’s simply no way. “Well now that that’s out in the open, my handsome celebrity crush who likes me a lot, I’m going to pack a bag and hop on the train. Are you in Central?”
  “Yeah, but I’ll start heading home soon to meet you there. If you want, feel free to pack a bag for more than one night. I don’t have a show on Sunday, we could make a day of it. Maybe go to a museum or something.” 
 “I’d love that, Dieter. Seriously.” You're absolutely beaming.
 “Me too, muñequita. Now go get that thick little ass of yours moving so I can grip it in my hands while I fuck you up against my bedroom wall before work.”
*****
Part 1
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androgynousblackbox · 9 months ago
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I love the kind of ship dynamic that is Some Guy x Literal Eldrich God so here it goes my idea: Alastor is a serial killer in love with Lucifer, a Eldrich being of another dimension that can literally make anything happen, but more than anything wants to learn to be a human. They met when Alastor rented an apartment and Lucifer brainwashed the landlord to assume he always lived there, so he never has to pay rent himself and neither Alastor after he finds out about his powers. Or the other way around... Lucifer just came to town and luckily got a cheap apartment where all he has to do is share space with Alastor, a guy who works on a popular podcast from his room/studio, and usually eats people but soften up when Lucifer teaches him the joys of not murdering every person he encounters.
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