#the island of doubt

[changterhune]

THE ISLAND OF DOUBT

The Island of Doubt by Cathode Ray Tube

THE ISLAND OF DOUBT is my latest album on my own label. 

Since humans like categorizing and finding patterns and I’m human (mostly) i guess this is part of my Grief cycle. Whereas Anabasis, Katabasis and Trogloxene were from my Pandemic cycle and of a certain theme, THE ISLAND OF DOUBT joins A BRIGHT EYED CREATURE and my forthcoming album THE EXPEDITIONS as documents of the period after my father’s death. With it’s sudden onset and the subsequent loss my world was thrown into torment and upset. These are the sounds of that. 

THE ISLAND OF DOUBT takes its name from a line out of the Talking Heads song Crosseyed and Painless. It seemed appropriate given how the world seems today and how the music collected herein sounds. 

It started off as a shorter album of only an hour in length. I’d been shopping it around for a year or so with little interest. After yet another rejection I threw caution to the wind and decided to release it on CNDHMN. Then something happened in the process of getting the album ready. Some tracks that were in the original sequence no longer fit. Other songs long cut from the sequence returned while still others I’d never considered were added. I tweaked them, made some shorter and made some longer. 

All that made it a way better record and a longer record, too. I am proud of both of these things. It follows a course and path I didn’t know was there while the newer versions sound unlike a lot of what I’ve done before. The new edits and pacing breathe life into a very difficult to make album that hopefully is not as difficult to listen to though I do want you to be challenged a bit by the music herein. 

Please enjoy. 

[margieargie]

Wasn't the biggest fan of the starting clothes so i figured I'd just sell them off for quick early cash and uh...

i'm starting to get the feeling the perma-underwear you have isn't actually there in-character...

some people approve.

some... don't.

(apparently this is also a naked comment too so count another in the "approve(?)" category I guess)

[jorrated]

spice chaotix

[gummi-ships]

[arcsimper5]

Rafael, my love...

Yeah, the first time I saw this thicc boi cleaning graves I was smitten.

Have some screenshots of married life :P

He doesn't even take his clothes off to sleep. Dedication. (Side note, please tell me we'll get a bathroom in the house at some point haha)

TOO CUTE

NO, BABE, TELL ME, PRAISE ME

That poor little sad face almost makes me forgive the fact this was moments after he crawled in AT 00:50. RAF WTF

Look, I'm just saying, there's a reason that mom and pops weren't invited to the wedding lol

He says this when I have over 100K coins haha. Bless his cottons.

Perfection.

Absolute perfection.

<3

He likes the quiet life <3

Can we get a crowdfunder to make Rafael real now please?

[potatopassenger]

I like this transition because look how forced Luffy is in the first shot. He's desperate to try and make Nami feel better even if it's just by making her laugh and he's also desperate to see the new island (and the possibility of a cure) but feels like he can't leave her cos it's his responsibility as captain to look after his crew

And then Zoro comes in instantly understands what's going on and says I've got her and Luffy trusts him so completely he can go just enjoy the excitement of the new island

[sqwdkllr]

One of the greatest parts of getting to watch Cucurucho’s pov of everything is that we get to see it hesitate at certain times AND IT MAKES ME SICK. WTF STOP STARING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN TWO CHOICES THAT ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF AN EMOTIONALLY ENFORCED CHOICE OR NOT. STOP DOING THAT

Poor pepito such a sad sign to read

[gz-missfit]

So with Phil ending stream and that event dying down I wanna talk about him.

And especially with how good of a decision it was from Cellbit to make him a fellow head of ther order.

Let me explain

So I'm gonna try and string this along but the basis I'm building on is that Phil is a center. Not just figuratively but also literally! Remember before the Favela and Spawn become the meeting places? Yeah his home was the point people would meet at, his doors were always open and his waystone was the one ingrained in people's muscle memory when a meeting or communal location was mentioned.

But Phil's also been a communicative center, he's a loner usually, mostly getting dragged along by tubbo or fit for some events.

But he's reliable! And people know this about him. They hear how a single father of 2 has carried the life of these 2 kids in his own, they've heard how Tallulah and Chayanne are the best behaved eggs due to him, they see him casual help people out etc. Phil's known for kindness and help when needed but people who don't know him don't realize there's so much more to him! Fit and Tubbo for example are the first 2 who are aware of this. Fit trusting Phil with literally everything because he knows how capable he is and Tubbo knowing Phil's capabilities in a way where he respects him heavily. And I don't even need to mention how Etoiles is aware of Phil's combat abilities.

Now why did I say that he was the perfect addition as a head of the order? Because he proved today that he is behind everything the order is about. He is a much needed cog in its machine, he's not a head investigator or strategist but he's someone they need to allow this.

Baghera wanted to investigate? Phil stopped trying to look around, focused on helping her clear mobs, gave her all his paper and kept an eye on her while calling to her to make sure she could collect evident when her inventory got filled. He's ready to put his own curiosity and knowledge aside to let others thrive.

Pierre needed a fighter when mobs swarmed him? Phil stood between him and the mobs, being a calm voice amongst panic, standing in Etoiles footsteps as protector and filling them well.

Roier wanted to stay and risk his life because he wanted more information? Phil will stay too, he's not leaving anyone behind even if it could cost his own life and he'd do it again.

Forever is acting weird and trying to brush worries off? Then Phil will worry even more and make sure he knows that Phil's someone who will be there whenever he's needed.

There's so many moments like this, Phil putting himself aside to let others thrive, becoming a support fighter for Etoiles, a teacher for tallulah, an investigator for Cellbit.

He's someone that island needs without them realizing it because he's a quiet constant hum but important! Like a humming of well working machines in a busy factory. Or the humming of bees in a thriving garden full of animals. He's quiet and not always noticeable but he's proof that things are working and okay, the backbone of it.

This is why this trust of Cellbit in him to call him a head of the order is so important for me, and especially Phil promising loyalty and trust to Cellbit cause it may sound basic but those who don't know Phil don't know how much Phil's loyalty truly means. How much his promise of it is an honor to someone because Phil's whole moral compass and trust is based on proof. If you can proof to Phil you're capable and put your money where your mouth is then he'll go through fire for you, and he's promised that to Cellbit, knowing fully well it's a promise he'll keep.

Phil's factual and logical, he's a grounding force when needed and someone who will fit himself into a role that needs to be filled. He's a support, a warrior, a investigator, a distraction etc. He's not focused on his own goals even if it hurts him to put those aside, if he sees potential in supporting or letting someone lead he'll do just that. He's so fucking observant and it's such an important trait not many islanders have to the same level he does. He watches with protective eyes and sees things most people don't. Ironically enough you can see this in his photographs a lot! He's a watcher an observer and acts based on what he sees.

Basically today, that little bit where they went into the new office where forever was taken, was proof of what Phil is needed for. He's not required, he knows that much, but he's important for the community of that island. He's important for letting others thrive. He's what the head of the order is, what they represent. Trust in eachother and letting people thrive in what they're good at while helping them in any way he can.

[agardenintheshire]

for when you've just been through a trauma here, okay?!

for @simptasia

[swan2swan]

There really is something terrifying and yet beautiful about how Darius's love of dinosaurs was quickly surpassed by his love for his friends and found family.

The revelation that as soon as one dinosaur killed one of his fellow campers, he was done with them? After they'd put their trust in him? Whether he was in love with them or not? That was all it took, one death? One loss? And it was Over? Even the keepsake he shared with his father was cast aside, because the thought of loving something that had brought so much harm was too much? Even with all of his knowledge, the weapon that kept his friends alive, that an animal is just doing what an animal does, he still vilified them and pushed all of that aside?

That is such beautiful, terrifying Character Growth.

[zeb-z]

see ok I don’t think it’s bad who stole the furniture because he didn’t go to f5 and zoom in on himself a billion times

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:

Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic

[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]

Flashbacks

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]

Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]

Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]

Extreme alertness/hypervigilance

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]

Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]

Feeling like you have to keep busy

[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]

Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive

[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]

Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]

Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(

[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]

Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard

[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]

Blaming yourself for what happened

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]

Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

it is important to note that community service is usually a punishment for criminals who have committed petty crimes. if criminals with a serious crime record are made to do community service, they do it while still serving a sentence of imprisonment.

but according to nate, war criminals should just be punished with community service. no imprisonment, no other form of punishment, just community service.

and even then, he mentioned that only hordak would be doing community service by cleaning up beast island.

catra doesn't get punished even though she nearly ended the entire world. none of the other people in the horde was even mentioned, even though they participated in the war.

truly a good and realistic representation on how to treat war criminals.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Okay, just, before tonight... Can we accept that, given currently at a draw with both teams actually having been trying recently, blue and red are actually somewhat balanced, have both done crimes, and no matter who wins its nobody's fault what the consequences are except the Eye because that fucker has never given anyone sufficient info to work with?

[justafriend-ql]

In my life, I don't think I can find someone else who can take care of me as well as you do. NEVER LET ME GO Episode 1 // Episode 10

[bubblingdrfizz]

i'm telling you guys do NOT let an object show fan onto student council this is a WARNING!!!!! that mf is going to plant stupid object show references EVERYWHERE

"oh you guys get to design flyers for school activities" and then they pull out this