#the invasion of the lava men

[smbhax]

From "The Invasion of the Lava Men!" in The Avengers #5, May 1964. Stan Lee script, Jack Kirby pencils & co-plot, Paul Reinman inks, Stan Goldberg(?) colors, Sam Rosen letters.

[project1939]

200 Films of 1952

Film number 167: Radar Men from the Moon

Release date: January 9th, 1952 

Studio: Republic 

Genre: sci-fi serial 

Director: Fred C. Brannon 

Producer: Franklin Adreon 

Actors: George Wallace, Aline Towne, Roy Barcroft 

Plot Summary: Commando Cody invents amazing things like atomic powered jetpacks and a rocket ship that can go to the Moon. When mysterious atomic explosions start happening all over the Earth, Cody believes it is the start of an invasion by the inhabitants of the Moon. He and his crew travel from the Earth to the Moon, and back again, trying to stop the evil plan of Retik, the great Moon ruler. 

My Rating (out of five stars): ** 

I was pretty excited to watch this, I’m not gonna lie. I’m someone who has viewed hundreds of Classical Hollywood movies, but I had never seen an entire old “serial.” Serials were 15-minute shorts that ran before a feature film- most were westerns, jungle adventures, or sci-fi. They consisted of about 12 chapters, and a new one would be released each week. Their main attributes were recurring characters, an overarching story, and an impossible cliffhanger at the end of each chapter. With a title like Radar Men from the Moon, I was ready to strap myself in for some cheap campy fun. It partly delivered, but by the 7th episode, I was pretty sick of the predictable repetitiveness of it all. (some minor spoilers)

The Good: 

I generally liked Commando Cody. He didn’t look like your typical action hero- he reminded me of a mixture of a young Spencer Tracy and a young Gene Hackman. Sometimes his nondescript manner made him a little underwhelming in the charisma department, but I still liked him overall. 

I liked Joan the female sidekick. She was smart, brave, and did some of her own fighting. She was not a damsel in distress. She also wasn’t romantically involved with Cody, which surprised me.  

Krog is a stupidly great name for an alien! His character wasn’t as interesting as his name, but whatever. 

Retik, the Moon’s ruler, had a pretty bizarre costume. He looked like he was wearing some kind of psychotropic papal robe, but then he had a head covering designed with either lizard or fish scales! 

I loved the name of the Moon’s equivalent to uranium- it was called lunarium! Guffaw. 

The special effect of Cody flying with his jet pack was actually pretty good for something this low budget. I thought it looked better than the Superman effect from the 1952 TV show. 

My favorite special effect was the melting mountain one. Rocks were supposed to be melting into molten lava, and it looked pretty damn impressive. 

The “futuristic” technology, the absurd plot, the janky costumes and effects... it was entertainingly goofy in most of the ways you’d hope. 

The Bad: 

Why did they name our hero Commando Cody? I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that Space Patrol, starring Commander Correy, was a huge radio and tv hit at the time! (What’s with “Commando” btw? All I can think of is what might or might not be under Cody’s uniform!) 

This should really have been called Fist Fighting Men from the Moon, because almost every time the bad guys dueled, they were just duking it out with their hands. It got very VERY tiresome. They had ray-guns and moon technology, but fistfights were supposed to be more exciting? No, they were just more cheap, I’m sure. 

Next to fist fights, car chases were the most common way to combat the enemy. In sci-fi. How is that cool? 

Too much time was spent on Earth. I wanted more of the Moon! 

Although... the Moon was a place filled with ancient Roman architecture, Frankenstein-esque laboratories, and a sunny atmosphere just like the Earth’s. It didn’t make for fascinating viewing. 

There were also blue skies all the way to the moon via the rocket ship. Who said space had to be dark? 

Re: the title- where were the Radar Men? It was a phrase or concept never once uttered. Letdown! 

The action and adventure didn’t really pan out like I hoped it would. My imagination was much more vivid than what was on the screen. 

The whole thing was pretty predictable. 

The cliffhangers at the end of each chapter lost their power very quickly. Each time it looked like there was no possible way Cody could have survived the final sequence, but each time he came back because of some miraculous escape or a bit of crazy luck. I never once thought- “Oh, no! Is he ok? Will he be alive next week?”  

The final scene ended on some dopey humor, which was already a trope apparently. 1) The heroes win! 2) The heroes celebrate with humility! 3) Someone does something a little silly or makes a little mistake and everyone laughs! Ha ha ha! 

[roselungs]

I didn’t believe I would ever learn to die

I didn’t believe I would ever learn to die

I wasn’t around when death was for free

But I was there when my maternal grandfather paid the price of cotton labourers’ sweat that made his Ottoman suit

The price of bare miles to the women of Bosnia

The price of their tears on the chests of their men before the war

The price of God’s banners

The price of the emperor’s frivolousness and long-term sickness

Balkan blood dripped on my school shirt

The teachers found vows of vengeance in my backpack, and so fabricated chapters of history

I wasn’t around when death happened by chance, on the road

But I was there when my paternal grandfather paid the price of a signature at the bottom of a page, the price of surrendering his village at the bottom of the mountain, of taking the occupier’s hands off of it, the rebel’s taking his hands off of his waist. With the move of a pen, my grandfather’s ink numbed the slope. With the folding of a paper, the mountain folded history, with a handshake, he took the valley’s hand from the tank’s muzzle.

The almond trees died in the cardiac operation rooms, the wedding horses shrouded their eyes with henna and killed themselves.

No one cleansed my ethnicity. But the mountain’s spinal cord broke. And so broke my chance to ever ascend it together, to look at Christ’s footsteps on the lake and copy them.

I’m not the miracle

I didn’t walk on water and I didn’t heal myself of your love’s ailments

But it was my heart’s water which I learned to turn into asphalt whenever I remembered you

I learned to flee the lava that dripped from the mountains of your fear

And I didn’t learn death

I wasn’t there when death was a once and for all lesson

where the memory of the rocket betrayed it and so forgot the way

The bullet that never meant to cease being a pen

The massacre that passed by the main road and fired peace

When I was walking in the back road

Picking yellow daisies and watching wars drawn in cartoons

I didn’t believe I would ever learn to die

Until Beirut’s war drowned my mother’s lullaby in the well

The scent of invasions emanates from the cooking oven

The commando’s voice enters Um Kulthoum’s cassette

The skulls that paved the city road, they leave the poster hanging beside the bed and lull me, tapping my soft head like a long latmiya. So I stop crying, or they stop crying in it.

My heart grows in the well like a pomegranate tree, each time a branch is broken I climb another on my way to you. All of me breaks, so I become a nest. The birds look in the water and see the laughing face of a Bosnian, I look in it and see your face.

I am the child of tubes crossbred in a medical lab

I smelled the scent of dead horses in my father’s sperm

And I retreated

I was born in the seventh month

After I was beaten by Bosnians in my mother’s womb

And I retreated

I didn’t believe I would ever learn to die

Until the Hebron massacre was committed on the cake of my ninth birthday. I lit the candles on the carpets of Abraham’s house. They melted there alone and no one sang upon them. The birthday gifts fall into the well, the gifts fall, vows of vengeance, in my backpack

The vows would’ve dug my grave had they any hands

The almond trees would’ve stepped on it had they a spinal cord

The mountains would’ve praised it had they any poems

The Bosnian’s tears would’ve creviced its stones had they any beaks or claws

And I would’ve come out

To learn the first lesson

That the smashed skull in the poster is my skull

And that the blood on my shirt

Is my blood

— asmaa azaizeh, tr. yasmine haj

[redorich]

this is kinda an au of your hermit!tommy au but what if when phil tries to drag tommy back to dreamsmp he succeeded and everyone keeps asking tommy if he was okay after being kidnapped and he’s angry because he just found his hone and it’s being taken from him. then instead of the big battle in hermitcraft the hermits form a rescue mission to save tommy with the help of techno. hopedthat made sense lol -🎧

An admin can't respawn their people outside of their own server. The hermits know this, and invade the Dream SMP anyway, because risking their lives is worth getting Tommy back. With Technoblade on their side, they know the geography of the server, they know who will oppose them and what weapons they'll have.

Their most important fighters are the elytra squad, led by Grian. Dream’s people (soldiers, don’t lie) are stuck on the ground; at best they can take potshots at the elytra squad using riptide tridents or ender pearls. 

Next is the bow squad, led by Cub. Cub’s group is to be protected by the ground squad until the bow squad can reach the strategic locations as given to them by Technoblade. In addition to sniping the enemy, Wels will shoot the hermits with arrows tipped in healing potions. Once the snipers are in place, they’ll protect the ground fighters. Led by False, the ground squad is comprised of heavy hitters and tanks, such as Doc and Iskall.

Dream’s men don’t expect an invasion of their home turf so soon after their own successful invasion of Hermitcraft; the hermits take advantage of this. Immediately upon spawning in the Dream SMP, Grian, along with Ren and Keralis, take off into the sky. Joe stands tall and takes off running, followed by a massive pack of dogs. In the distance, they spy the imposing black prison as Dream’s men gather. The battle is on.

---

Impulse and Tango, armed to the teeth with gear all enchanted with the Vanishing Curse, are accosted immediately after they finish escorting the sniper squad to their tower. The man that’s fighting them is absolutely vicious; the black side of his face is hard to read, but the white side of his face is visibly scrunched in anger, but more obviously fear.

“Stop fighting!” Impulse says between breaths, parrying the half-enderman’s axe. “You’re a kid, you shouldn’t have to fight. Just put down your weapons.”

Tango falters, nearly tripping over his own feet. This Ranboo guy is a kid?!

Ranboo’s eyes shutter as he frowns. “Since when do you care about how young your victim is? You stole Tommy. Even if I die, I won’t stop fighting you.”

Stricken, Impulse pulls his sword swing at the last moment, slashing Ranboo across the chest in a skin-deep laceration, instead of the killing blow it would have been. With gritted teeth, Ranboo lashes out. Impulse chokes, breathing wetly as he falls heavily to one knee.

“Impy!” Tango wails, rushing to his side.

Impulse huffs, eyes already hazy. “Sorry,” he says, “I guess I failed.”

When Impulse stills, Tango puts him down on the ground gently. He stands. Even though he’s not as tall as Ranboo, he strikes an intimidating figure with a lava bucket in each hand, ready for immolation.

“Impulse died because he pitied you,” he rasps. “I won’t be so kind.”

Ranboo unconsciously takes a step back when Tango takes a step forward. Lava flies, and Ranboo screams. He tries to teleport, but Tango grabs him by the neck and drags him back into the lava. Ranboo thrashes with weapons and bare hands alike, dealing more damage to Tango than he’d care to admit. When Ranboo finally goes quiet, Tango scoops the lava back into his bucket and lays the child soldier’s corpse out on the ground next to Impulse.

Tango breathes heavily, inhaling the thick scent of blood and charred flesh as he sits down between the two bodies. He places his head in his hands and does not weep.

---

Stress clutches her sword tightly, staring down the blonde woman who’s come to confront her. Her friends had been surprised (and worried, though they tried not to show it) when she’d volunteered herself to be a part of the ground fighters’ squad. They should have known better, she thinks. Like hell am I going to sit pretty in a tower somewhere, shooting people down, when one of my friends is being held hostage. Especially Tommy.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” the blonde woman says quietly as she brandishes her axe. This must be Niki, the soft woman with a spine of steel.

“My name is Stress,” she begins. She has no clue what to say, but she’ll say it regardless. “Tommy’s told me about you. He respects you.”

“So you kidnapped him?” Niki demands.

Stress blinks rapidly, taken aback. “Kidnap ‘im? Wot?!”

Niki frowns. “Dream said you people kidnapped him, and brainwashed him into liking you. That’s why we had to get him back.”

“Yeah, well Tommy told me that Dream abused him and lied to him,” Stress says sardonically, “so forgive me if I call bullshit.”

Niki rears back, then raises her axe again. “How do I know you’re not a liar?”

Biting her lip, Stress thinks as fast as she can. This is big. “... Why do you trust Dream?”

“I don’t,” Niki says stonily.

“Do you trust Tommy?”

Niki snorts. “With my life, but not my items.”

“That’s fair,” Stress laughs, more out of nervousness than humor, before affecting a serious, scary look that she doesn’t feel in the slightest. “You’re trusting Dream’s word over Tommy’s. How is Tommy supposed to prove a negative? By saying that Tommy’s unstable, or compromised, or whatever, Dream has automatically invalidated Tommy’s arguments in his own defense.”

Niki’s spine straightens as she listens. “I want to believe you,” she says.

Stress shrugs. “Then believe me.” She holds out a hand to Niki, offering the proverbial olive branch.

The corners of Niki’s mouth quirk upward. “So, what’s the plan? I’ll follow your lead.”

---

“...So.” Dream says.

“...So.” Technoblade responds, staring him down from across the Prime Path.

“I always knew you were a filthy fucking traitor,” Dream says conversationally.

Techno shrugs. “I never pretended I wasn’t.”

Dream draws his axe; Techno uncaps a potion. The two men walk slowly toward each other, until they’re at most ten paces apart. Dream remembers the last time he was on the Prime Path, taking ten paces.

“This is for my brother, you sick son of a bitch,” Techno mutters. The two burst into action.

---

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

"Im trying not to write please ask me to write things"

No but. Hmm. Ten and Crowley having a theological discussion (like the satan pit situation, being that Crowley's boss is that guy? If you feel like it

Oi!

jk but I just wanna do some little one-shots, don't wanna burn out on the big fic so soon, and writing other things helps me from doing that, haha.

Hmmm, sounds a bit thought provoking. I do like that.

On with the fic!

--

"Lovely place." Crowley commented as he followed after the Doctor, his strides more casual than the Doctor's wide steps across the hot ground. Steam shot up in places and it smelled funny, but that's what happens when you're on a plant that is considered to be one of the best hot springs in the galaxy.

Like, the whole planet is basically a hot springs, and surprisingly occupied by an intelligent species of aliens that look like those monkeys that live in hot springs. Except purple and with four arms.

"You think so?" The Doctor turned, smiling at his demonic companion as he walked right up to a cliff's edge, sitting himself down. He had taken Crowley here to check out the famous sunset of Likolia, when its light hit the lave ocean just right, it made the ocean look like a giant ruby!

"Oh yeah. I think this was one of the projects in my department." Crowley said as he sat himself down, long legs dangling over the cliffside. "'Course, I was all about star makin', not really focused on planets back then. Though I did get to help sometimes, if they needed a little insight here and there."

He looked so proud for a moment, but his smirk seemed to dim, a lost look in those golden eyes. The Doctor tugged at his ear. "Crowley, I've got a question."

"And I might have an answer."

"Is Satan real?"

Crowley turned his head, slowly blinking. "Are you serious? You're looking at one of his 'minions' right now."

"I know, I know. But it's just..." The Doctor scratched at his head. "Well... it's still so hard to wrap my head around the concept of angels and demons, you know? I mean, the universe is vast, greatly unexplored and no one has all the answers, but it's so weird, yeah? Angels for me are made of stone and are horrifying, while demons are a species of creature that existed during a great, frightening period of Dalek invasion."

He had met many over his long life who could be considered god-like in their own way, even he was considered that by some, in a horrifying way. But he had never met Crowley's Creator, but he had met what was possibly Satan.

Or at least a form of him.

"What's got you thinkin' these thoughts, Doctor?" Crowley asked, caution in his voice.

"I... well, a while back, when I was traveling with Rose, we landed on a mining station that was suspended just outside of a black hole, on a planet that was stuck, practically in time and space. It defied all logic!"

He remembered how stunned and impressed he had been about Krop Tor, how it was impossible and yet the proof was right before his eyes!

And then everything had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

He nearly died there.

He nearly lost Rose.

"Rose and I were stuck, part of the station collapsed into a pit, the TARDIS fell with it. Then things got worse, there were murders happening. One of the men on the station, he had been translating an ancient text that not even the TARDIS could read, and it had been corrupting him. Something got into his mind and his body."

Crowley's brow furrowed. "Possession, I take it?"

"Yes." The Doctor nodded, looking at the sea of lava as it slowly moved back and forth with the tide. He wondered if there was something like this in Hell, but Crowley always just mentioned that it was like the worst sort of office space, and it smelled like a wet dumpster.

"I'm gonna take a shot in the dark, judging by your one question, and say that you believe that this guy was possessed by the devil, yeah?"

The Time Lord shrugged, made a noise, then shrugged again.

Crowley snorted. "I dunno, I mean, wouldn't put it past the bastard to do somethin' like that. But in space? Not his area, really."

"He spoke with me."

"Through the guy?"

"No, face to face. In a way." The Doctor explained how he and another of the miners had gone onto the planet, and the Doctor himself went into the pit. He had found a strange cavern where a large creature was.

"I had sensed it right away, that this thing was ancient, from a time long before even the Time Lords. He said that he was from before the universe existed, and that he was the truth behind the myth of the devil."

Crowley looked thoughtful on this. "Seriously?"

"Yes. He said that he was the reason for the myths, throughout the universe, what the humans knew of the Great Beast, Abaddon, The Deathless Prince, Satan himself."

"Uhg, that sounds like the guy. Always had an ego, even back when he was an angel. Always prancin' about, sayin' he was the favorite, the most beautiful."

"He wasn't very beautiful when I saw him." The Doctor commented under his breath, making Crowley laugh at this. "Still though, the beast was powerful, even from where I was standing. It controlled so many beings, even computers and such. It was frightening. I didn't trust it."

"Why not?"

The Doctor bit his lip. "Because he spoke about existing before anything in this universe. It... I don't like thinking about the implications of that. You make me think like that too, but with you it's..."

"Easier to deal with?"

"In a sense, yes. The come face to face with something that's always troubled you secretly, in the back of your mind, it's a little jarring."

"Nah, I getcha ya on that. No one likes having to question everything they know. But you travel time and space, shouldn't you always be questioning everything you know?"

"Well, when I do it on purpose, it's fun! But when it's slapped right in my face, I don't!" The Doctor knocked his head back, letting out a breath. "I don't know if that really was Satan though. You told me about him before, and about what happened in that airfield. He's still in Hell, isn't he?"

"Last I checked, he's still sulking. Got owned by his own son, ouch."

"But if he's in Hell, sulking, as you said, then what did I meet on Krop Tor?"

Crowley sighed. "Do you want my opinion?"

"That's why I asked."

"It's... best not to speculate, Doctor." Crowley said softly. "Things like this are confusing, dangerous. Lucifer is a dangerous, powerful demon, nearly equal to God when he Fell. He took on the job of ruling Hell and the demons, of being a terrifying influence on cultures across Earth, and time and space, apparently. It is possible you saw part of him on that planet.

But it's also possible that what you found was an evil beast that played on the concept of my old boss. That it took advantage of people's fears of such a creature and used it to its advantage. It was already dangerous and powerful, why not dress that up a bit with a title people know."

"Would you know the difference, if you'd met him?"

There was a shrug. "Maybe? I dunno, I'm gonna guess that it's impossible now, right?"

The Doctor nodded, leaning back on his hands. "He was defeated, I destroyed the prison he was in, that kept the planet locked around the black hole so he could be sucked into it. Before I did that, he told me that he was the influence of devil-like beasts around the universe, through time and space. Told me that even if I destroyed him, he wouldn't be killed, he still would exist. People would always believe that he existed."

The demon next to him nodded. "Yeah, belief is a very, very powerful tool."

"Yeah." The Doctor replied, but smiled. "Still, I had my own beliefs that helped me."

"Oh? You believe in somethin'?"

"Yeah... I'm not sure if I believe in higher beings, it's so hard to, with the life I have. But as I told that beast before I destroyed him, if I believe in one thing," He looked out at the sunset, watching as the rays hit the lava, the ocean glowing brightly like a ruby, "I believe in her."

Crowley wasn't looking at him, but he had a knowing smile on his face. "I know what you mean, got my own beliefs as well, no need for higher beings when I've got him."

They watched the sunset quietly for a few moments, before Crowley spoke again. "I'm not sure who it was you met there, but it's best to just let your mind not ponder on it too much. He was whatever he was, and that's all that matters."

"Hmm, I guess." The Doctor sighed, it wasn't the best answer, but sometimes it was better than other answers. "Wanna get a drink? They have the best yardsticks here that'll make you see stars."

"Yeah, let's get wasted and bother some of the tourists. I'm doing being philosophical for the day, that's normally the angel's department."

--

Demons are a species in the Doctor Who audio drama Dalek!, where David played a lead character that was a demon. His character is depressingly charming and I would love to one day make content with him.

Also, I love The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit episodes and how the concept of Satan is left open to interpretation by the end of it all. Was that really him? Or something else? We just don't know, so I left it as such.

Also, the planet was just made up to seem a bit like Hell, to set the mood. But I would love to see a lava sea like that.

[marvelman901]

Avengers vol 1 5 (1964) . The Invasion of the Lava Men! . Written and Edited by Stan Lee Penciled by Jack Kirby Inked by Paul Reinman Colors by Stan Goldberg Lettered by Sam Rosen Cover by Jack Kirby and Dick Ayers . The Lava Men invaded the surface by the use of a sort of living rock, that would eventually explode. The Avengers managed to stop them, by tricking the Hulk into hitting the rock at a specific place... . See more related content here: #marvelman901avengers #marvelman901hulk #marvelman901ironman #marvelman901thor #marvelman901pym #marvelman901wasp #marvelman901captainamerica . #captainamerica #avengers #wasp #hulk #lavamen #ironman #thor #pym #giantman #marvelman901lavamen #jackkirby #stanlee https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjf6YIFMUs6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[pupuseriazag]

Behold, Xiri the mermaid of Alegría Lagoon

It is said that she was a Lenca woman who lived in Gueymitique (now Alegría), a place that got invaded by a Tecoluca-Nohualco tribe in a conquest war. She was the only survivor of both the invasion and the constant eruption from the Tecapa volcano in her family.

Among the tribe, there was a wizard who fell in love with her, but his love was not reciprocated. So by faking a future vision inside a dog's ennards, he declared the volcano needed a human sacrifice to calm its fury, and in revenge. He decided that Xiri would be sacrified.

Moments before she was thrown into the lava, her dear friend the torogoz interviened by singing about the tragedy that was about to occurr. His melancholic and profund melody made the Tecapa volcano stop its eruption, and instead, it began to cry and its tears created what is now known as the Alegría Lagoon.

It's not known how or why Xiri was then transformed into a mermaid, but the several dissapearences and drowning of men in the lagoon is attributed to her since she "falls in love" with them. Others say her intentions of drowning said men are unknown. In my case, I interpreted her motive as a way of revenge (and probably food source, since the lagoon can't have fauna thanks to its nature).

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #237: Meltdowns and Mayhem

November, 1983

Pandemonium at Project Pegasus!

Oo, that might have been a better title! It’s just fun to say! Meltdowns and Mayhem is good too. And mayhem and pandemonium really does describe the cover.

Its one of those big mishmash fight covers. Just a big confusing scrum. And Wasp yelling at She-Hulk for some reason. Yeah, I dunno.

Hey, Spider-Man is still pretty front and center so this is still the Spider-Man Guest Stars, starring the Avengers book.

Oh, and the cool new logo is still here so I guess its the new thing. Rad.

Last time on Avengers: Spider-Man decided he was going to join the Avengers because money. He stowed away when the Avengers were called to an emergency situation at Project Pegasus, which turned out to be lava men. Captain Marvel’s presence accidentally released Nova villain Blackout who freed Moonstone. On her say so, he also freed Rhino and Electro. Captain Marvel also managed to resolve the lava men situation since they for some reason worship her as the prophesied savior the Lady-of-Light.

Avengers lead interesting lives.

This time on Avengers:

Captain Marvel tells the lava men to go home.

And they do.

Spider-Man grouses that he gets no respect from lava men. I’m not sure why he was expecting any?

Cap(tain America) has been briefing Plain Michael O’Brien - the once (and future? when he stops sulking?) Guardsman - on the situation re: the lava men invasion being a big misunderstanding.

Project Pegasus accidentally sent a magma tap right into the lava men village. Common mistake, could have happened to anyone. But O’Brien promises the magma tap will be moved.

Elsewhere in the facility, Moonstone’s quirky quartet watch Cap, O’Brien, and the lava men make peace. With different reactions.

Rhino doesn’t think its a big deal because he wants to pound ‘em. Electro is more hesitant because the Avengers outnumber them as is AND have Spider-Man and Spider-Man pretty consistently kicks his and Rhino’s asses.

Rhino still doesn’t care.

But if Electro doesn’t want to do the superhero fight then he can guard the rear and keep an eye on Blackout who Rhino doesn’t trust anymore than he would Spider-Man.

Because since Blackout is so new a villain (only previous appearance an issue of Nova), Rhino hasn’t heard of him. AND ISN’T IT CONVENIENT THAT A VILLAIN HE’S NEVER HEARD OF RELEASED HIM FROM HIS CELL SAME DAY THE AVENGERS SHOWED UP?

Pretty suspicious.

Blackout is hyperbolic and has a persecution complex even by the standards of supervillains.

Blackout: “How dare you accuse me of such a thing!! You’re just like all the rest! You’re against me... All of you!”

He uses his vague powers to encase Rhino in “solid black-light” and then waxes melodramatic.

I mean look at this shit.

Electro’s reaction to this in-fighting is more on the lines of scoffing at all this nonsense comic book science compared to his super cool normal electricity powers.

Electro: “Solid light? Black-star power? Moonstone, what’s he talking about? Anyone who’s had even a grade-school science education knows that he’s spouting gibberish! Black-light is just ultraviolet...”

Moonstone: “... And what he controls is much more. Yes, I know... But I don’t think that he fully knows.”

Wow. Co-villains be snarkin’.

Also, while Blackout continues monologuing about how anyone that stands against him will be merged with the light spectrum (???), Rhino just breaks out of the solid black-light, grabs Blackout, and goes to bounce Blackout against the wall until he blacks out.

But Moonstone and Electro separate the idiots and reminds them that they should be more mad at the Project Pegasus scientists who imprisoned them.

AND MOONSTONE HAS A PLAN, of course.

Back two levels down where the lava men plot is still wrapping up.

The lava men have gathered around the magma pit with the lead lava men chanting for the powers of earth to carry them home if they could kthx.

Spectating Spider-Man: This is screwy! He just keeps chanting and waving his arms over the trashed opening to the old magma pit, like he was some second-rate Dr. Strange! What’s he think he’s going to accomplish?

And then the earth blasts magma up from the pit and whisks the the lava men away home to Spider-Man’s great incredulity.

I mean, sure, the Avengers’ lives are weird but is this really weirder than your own life, Spidey?

Just a few years before this comic, Amazing Spider-Man #2 had to be retconned so you wouldn’t have dealt with aliens in only your second issue. Your life is weird!

Anyway, since the lava men are gone, Wasp decides its time to rip Spider-Man a new one for stowing away and interfering with Avengers’ business.

Spider-Man: “I’m sorry, Wasp. I...”

Wasp: “Sorry?! Is that all you can say for yourself? Well, I should hope you’re sorry! You might have sacrificed our entire mission!”

Spider-Man: I really blew it this time! “I only meant to help, Wasp. I just wanted to show you that I’d make a good Avengers... But I guess you’d never consider me for membership now, huh?”

Wasp: “I didn’t say that! If you promise not to ever do anything this rash again, we’ll see what we can do about making you an Avengers-in-training!”

(Good to see Wasp got over her inexplicable ‘ew spiders are gross’ phase from the 60s)

Much excitement until Spider-Man remembers that he didn’t want to be an in-training and protests what would he even need training for?

Captain America: “Well, for one thing, to learn how to follow orders!”

Hah!

Its like a criticism sandwich. ‘You almost fucked everything up!’ ‘But we still want you to join us.’ ‘But you need to learn teamwork dammit!’

I’ll give Spidey credit, after I was a bit rude last time, that he has learned to take criticism between the time in Amazing #1 and now. He didn’t immediately jump out a window rather than face embarrassment at fucking up. Part of that is probably that he’s underground in a government facility and there’s no good place to run away but still, some of it has to be growth.

Scarlet Witch backs Cap up that all the Avengers had to learn how to work together as a unit.

Wasp and Cap also mention that if he becomes an Avenger, he can keep his private life private but no secret superpowers. The Avengers need to know what each other can do in a pinch.

This is news to Starfox who begins musing about his own SECRET SUPERPOWER (which I’m pretty sure I’ve spilled the beans on repeatedly already). Since there hasn’t been a situation where his SECRET POWER would have been useful, he just hasn’t mentioned it but not wonders whether he should just tell the other Avengers or maybe lean into the omission and keep not mentioning it forever.

I feel option 2 isn’t a great idea but, hey, you do you spaceman.

Anyway, Spider-Man agrees that telling them about his cool powers is a fair trade for becoming an Avenger. And seriously, he’s prone to explain his powers at the drop of a hat anyway so this is no kind of huge task.

Wasp decides that they should return to the mansion so they can get this wrapped up and O’Brien shows the Avengers the cool and not at all dangerous vortex beam transport tube.

The vortex beam propels the passengers up and is apparently susceptible to irony. Because as soon as Spider-Man asks what would happen if the power went out, the beam fails and the Avengers start plummeting twenty stories.

Thankfully, Captain Marvel, Wasp, and Starfox can fly and Spider-Man catches the rest in a web net after catching himself against the wall of the tube.

Maybe stick to elevators and stairs, Project Pegasus.

But O’Brien protests that there are hundreds of failsafes and automatic safety systems that would have had to fail for them to plummet even if the vortex beam lost power.

This was SABOTAGE.

On Wasp’s order, She-Hulk punches them an egress into the side of the tube.

O’Brien gets over to a security monitor and discovers the breakout. The guy on the other end of the monitor informs him that the four escaped prisoners are on their way to the nuclear research dome.

Wouldn’t you know it! The Avengers just left and now they have to head back.

They find that the doors to the dome have been melted and Starfox and She-Hulk have to KRA-THOOM them open to pieces.

Spider-Man: Geez, next to those two, I feel like a 98-pound weakling!

Unfortunately, its one impediment after another. Past the doors into the dome, there’s a big black wall that’s not supposed to be there.

Spider-Man tries climbing it but slides right down, to his bafflement.

Spider-Man: “I can climb a wall of teflon if I have to! What’s this thing made of?”

She-Hulk tries punching it and finds that it breaks just fine but when she BAMs a hole in it, Electro zaps her with electricity through it. And the hole seals up when Spider-Man tries to web Electro.

Moonstone starts broadcasting through a monitor so she can gloat that her boys and her have taken over the nuclear research dome which means they’re in control of the whole project and the Avengers (plus Spider-Man) can’t do a thing to stop them.

And as a pretty vehement gtfo, Electro juices up with a backpack connected to the dome’s nuclear generator and electrifies the black wall.

So now the Avengers can’t even try to punch through.

Wasp: “Dangerous or not, we still have to get through and stop this madness! That wall has to come down... and you’re the one best equipped to handle that -- Wanda!”

And her probability borking powers are, as ever, a good do anything button.

Its not very probable for Blackout’s barrier to break down but it does! And its not probable for the electricity on the barrier to discharge into Electro but wouldn’t you know it, Wanda waved her hands a certain way and its happening!

Supervillains hate her. Her one weird trick for doing heroics.

But with the barrier down, Rhino charges the Avengers (plus Spider-Man), bowling over Starfox who was probably momentarily baffled to see a man dressed as a rhino charging him.

Captain Marvel dodges Rhino in her light form only to be immediately captured in a bubble by Blackout.

Alas, she had such a good showing this issue. I guess Stern decided that some other people needed time to look cool.

Spider-Man jumps on Rhino while he bowls through the Avengers and Starfox punches Blackout in the head for capturing Monica.

Blackout: “You think you can intimidate me just because you can fly?! Well, you’re wrong! Wrong! Blackout can also defy gravity!”

Starfox: “A challenge! Marvelous!”

Blackout sure is something. Like I said, even for a supervillain, he sure is something.

But its funny how Blackout and Starfox are on completely different wavelengths.

Electro recovers from getting Wanda’d and goes to fry Spider-Man but Cap(tain America) throws his mighty shield and severs the cord giving him extra juice.

Spider-Man, webbing the cord so its not a hazard: “Thanks for the quick save, Cappy!”

Captain America: “Don’t mention it, son! That’s just teamwork in action!”

It’s a teachable moment. Cap-style.

Electro tries to fry Cap for interfering but Cap’s mighty shield blocks... the... electricity. Okay, its metal though. Where is the charge going??

Scarlet Witch comes to ruin Electro’s day twice-over and waves her do-anything hands at him.

He scoffs that nothing happened and then immediately passes out.

Cap: “Wanda? What the blazes did you do to him?”

Scarlet Witch: “Basically, I tried to make all the carbon dioxide in the room cluster around his head, so he’d pass out from temporary lack of oxygen. Looks like it worked!”

Cap: “Uh... yes!”

Cap’s thinking ‘damn Wanda, you’re scary.’

The thing about do-anything powers like Wanda’s is that she really should be able to shut down most opponents like this but she probably won’t do this very often because it would be boring.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man blindfolds Rhino with webbing and lets him ram through a wall.

Rhino: “A few inches of steel don’t mean anything to me!”

She-Hulk: “Is that so? Well, how about a few knuckles of She-Hulk? Does that mean anything? Hmmph! I guess it does!”

I mean, you didn’t have to phrase it that way but good job, She-Hulk! You punched him in his rhino face.

And it was more good teamwork from Spidey. He set ‘em up, She-Hulk knocked ‘im down.

Also meanwhile, Captain Marvel is fed up with not being able to escape Blackout’s globe. And, hey, nice touch, from the outside we can see that the globe is wholly opaque so yes, it would be impenetrable to the visible light spectrum.

And no matter what energy she tries, she can’t get out. But she does a force-blast and that does bust the globe.

Whiiiiich distracts Starfox as he chases Blackout around the room and Blackout takes advantage of the distraction to blast Starfox.

Captain Marvel: “You devil! I’ll get you for that!”

Blackout: “Get me? Yes, you all try -- don’t you? You’re all out to get me!”

In this situation? Yes they are! Ya goof.

In the control room, Moonstone knows that Rhino, Electro, and Blackout don’t stand a chance to beat the Avengers but all she needs is for them to be a distraction while she uses the controls.

Wasp flies in but too late. Moonstone blasts not Wasp but the control panel.

Her plan all along was to destroy Project Pegasus for daring to study her powers like she was some kind of lab rat. And with the controls destroyed, she’s confidant that the Avengers won’t be able to stop what she started.

She blinds Wasp by doing a taiyoken with her chest and then flees out the evacuation exit, gloating that Project Pegasus is about to get very unpleasant.

What a goof.

Blackout also takes the opportunity to escape, sealing the exit behind him with one of his black light constructs.

Captain Marvel starts to blast through but Wasp tells her that there’s no time to chase supervillains right now, the reactor is going critical.

Spider-Man: “Critical? Is someone being critical again?”

Wasp: “This is no joking matter, Spider-Man! Moonstone’s left the reactor in an awful state!”

Spidey seriouses up immediately and goes to take a look, commenting that he has a little scientific training.

Oh, hey, another great reason to have Spider-Man join the team. He can be the new science guy and Starfox can get back to being the flirt. Everyone would be happier then.

And then Spidey even more seriouses up.

Spider-Man: “Moonie pulled all of the damping rods out of the power core! If we can’t get them back in place, we’ll have a meltdown that’ll leave the entire project uninhabitable for the new hundred-thousand years!”

Geez, Moonstone! You don’t half-ass revenge!

Moonstone broke the controls so they can’t just plunk the damping rods back into place. Wanda’s do-anything powers could do it, if she wanted to melt before she could do it.

Apparently her powers are reliant on direct line-of-sight (even though that doesn’t gel with when she fought the Wizard recently) but the radiation levels are so high in the reactor that she doubts even She-Hulk would survive it.

But Captain Marvel could.

Radiation wouldn’t affect her energy forms and she can get into the reactor through the circuity in the control room.

Spider-Man gets on a microphone and tries to walk Captain Monica through what she needs to do.

She needs to cut through all five supports on the damping rod assembly. If the assembly doesn’t fall as a unit, NUCLEAR DISASTER.

Captain Marvel zips about as a laser, I guess, cutting through the supports. One isn’t cut through all the way through, giving Spider-Man a startle, but Monica zips about lightspeed and finishes cutting through, allowing the assembly to fall into place with a WHUNK.

Spider-Man: “The reactor’s shutting down. Uh.. Can someone help me get my heart restarted?”

Ha, I like Cap(tain America)’s ‘whew’ gesture.

Y’know, the selling point of this arc seems to be ‘HEY LOOK SPIDER-MAN IS HERE’ but its been more of a Captain Marvel focused story. She resolves the lava man situation and she has a ‘this looks like a job for Aquaman’ moment with the reactor too.

Still, Spidey pulled his weight. He c-c-c-combo’d Rhino with She-Hulk. His spider-sense came in handy. And he got to be a science guy since Starfox was knocked out.

I tend to be iffy on Spider-Man as an Avenger overall but heck, lets have him on the team!

Later, after Spider-Man’s heart gets restarted and everyone has returned to the Mansion, Cap and Wasp call the Government (specifically their liaison Mr. Sikorski who doesn’t want to be here and hates dealing with superheroes. Its frankly amazing that Gyrich’s understudy is a worse Avengers liaison than him) to request clearance for Spider-Man to become a new trainee Avenger.

And over slightly to the left, presumably off-camera from the call Wasp and Cap are having, Spider-Man ponders whether this is actually something he wants.

He still doesn’t like the idea of being treated as a rookie. He’s been superheroing since he was in high school and darnit, he’s dropped out of grad school by this point! And he doesn’t know whether he’s a good fit for a team at all.

But on the other hand, he’s got a thousand good reasons (a week) to join. I’m sorry, I typed reasons, I meant dollars.

But what Spider-Man does and does not want becomes a bit moot as Mr. Sikorski shoots the idea down flat.

Mr. Sikorski: “Spider-Man?! Are you out of your minds? We have a file on him that’s a yard long -- and it still doesn’t tell us a blasted thing about him! The man’s a major security risk! No! I absolutely forbid it!”

God. He even wags his finger at Cap and Wasp.

The nerve.

The unmitigated gall.

Spider-Man takes this with all due sour grapes.

Spider-Man: “They’ll okay, Starfox -- a guy from outer space -- but my own government won’t approve me?”

Yeah, that’s a good point!

Cap offers to go over Mr. Sikorski’s head by going right to the president (which in FAIRNESS is kinda how Starfox got on the team) but Spider-Man tells Cap not to bother.

I’d guess a combination of bruised pride and ‘oh thank god now I don’t have to make a decision, I just get to be indignant about it.’

Spider-Man: “Naw, don’t put yourself out, Cap! Me joining the Avengers was a dumb idea anyway! But I’ll tell you one thing... my Congressman is definitely gonna hear about this!”

Sad Starfox with an icepack on his head: “Congressman? What on Earth is a Congressman?”

Hah.

Also, the tiny next issue box promises UNLIMITED VISION which is definitely not ominous at alllll.

So! Not a bad two-parter by any means! It is a shame that Spider-Man can’t join the Avengers, because of the government and probably writers and editorial, he has a fun dynamic with the team.

But in these times where Marvel tried to keep things consistent in the shared universe, a big guy with his own book like Spider-Man would be difficult. I mean, they’ve only recently written out Thor and Iron Man for having troubles in their own books and Spider-Man is constantly having trouble in his book.

Your time will come eventually, Spidey.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because maybe one day I’ll get to the point where Spider-Man is a reserve member. Also like and reblog because I like to feel liked.

[mst3kproject]

The Navy vs the Night Monsters

Of course, it’s not like bad things stop happening now that 2020 is finally over… we just get to start counting again from zero. Kind of like how I’ve started counting thirty-six Episodes that Never Were per year, beginning with this one. It was co-directed by Wyott Ordung from Robot Monster and features familiar faces like Russ Bender and Mamie Van Doren, the latter for once not playing a teenage delinquent.  It also has one really obscure MST3K connection: it was based on a story by Murray Leinster, which the sharp-eyed will remember as the name of the ship attacked by Evil Count Zarth Arn’s lava lamp weapon at the beginning of Starcrash!

A plane carrying specimens of Antarctic flora and fauna makes a rather rough and unexpected landing at a naval base on remote Gow Island in the south Pacific.  There appears to be nobody on board except the pilot and a few penguins – the former is in a catatonic state, and the latter are... well, penguins... so what happened to the rest of the passengers and crew is a complete mystery.  Did the pilot go mad and kill them?  Did the penguins?  Or did it have something to do with those mysterious ancient trees discovered growing around a geothermal spring in the heart of the frozen continent?

The first ten minutes of this movie are spent trying to be a comedy.  Before we get anywhere near the plot, we first have to listen to the guys on the plane try to be funny about their lunch and their tastes in women.  Then on the island, we watch a guy who can’t seem to figure out how to inflate a balloon, followed by a dude talking to his dog, and then a really icky bit where two women convince a man he had sex with both of them, which he buys because he was too drunk to remember.  Only then do we finally establish what’s actually going on.  The impression one gets from this beginning is that The Navy vs the Night Monsters is going to be peopled entirely by Jackass Comic Relief characters, and I actually turned the film off and sat on it for a couple of days to psych myself up to watch the rest.

When I finally turned it back on, to my relief the movie turned out not to be quite that bad, but it’s still pretty damned bad.  The dull and unfunny opening is followed by an abrupt shift of tone, as a man maddened by terror jumps from the plane to his death!  The only thing set up by the opening that turns out to be relevant is Spaulding the meteorologist’s crush on Nora the nurse, when she’s in love with the base’s second in command, Lieutenant Brown.

I complain frequently about useless love triangles in movies.  This one is very useless, and all the more so because the script totally forgets to resolve it.  Spaulding hates Gow Island but stays because he’s in love with Nora – he wants her to go back to Miami with him and marry him.  When he puts this idea to her, however, it becomes obvious that Nora can’t stand him, and it’s clear enough why: Spaulding is an asshole and he treats Nora not as a partner but as a possession.  Never does he show any sort of tenderness towards her.  Every time they speak to each other, he seems to end up shouting, and his jealousy of Brown repeatedly leads to violence.

Brown, on the other hand, treats Nora with respect and actually shows vulnerability around her.  He’s been left in charge while the base’s commander is on the mainland attending an important meeting, and he’s really feeling the pressure as the base is surrounded by tree monsters in the dark.  He talks about his anxiety and Nora comforts him, and the audience rolls their eyes because it’s perfectly obvious which of these guys she’s going to pick.  And sure enough, at the end she’s in Brown’s arms… but nothing about the whole situation is exactly resolved.

Brown and Spaulding did get in a fist fight, though it wasn’t explicitly over Nora, but nobody ever talks about the problem. Spaulding never realizes that he’s treated Nora badly, and it never seems to even occur to him that she might prefer Brown over him, or even that she has emotions or preferences at all.  He definitely never seems to understand that he’s lost.  Brown and Nora seem to feel a need to hide their love affair from the other base staff, but we’re never given a reason why (although I guess ‘Spaulding’s a dick’ is reason enough).  Nora never tells Spaulding that she prefers Brown… maybe she’s afraid he’ll assault her?  I hate everything about this situation, but nothing more than the fact that as the movie progresses we get hints that Nora may be warming up to Spaulding, as if she’s supposed to consider these two guys equal contenders for her affections!  Fuck everybody who wrote this, seriously.

It’s kind of sad to see Mamie Van Doren in a role like this after meeting her in things like Untamed Youth and Girls Town.  Those movies were gross and exploitative, but Mamie’s characters were central to their plots and she filled those shoes reasonably well.  She wasn’t Oscar material but for what the films were, she was enough to carry them.  The Navy vs the Night Monsters is a little closer to being a ‘real movie’, but in this respect it represents a step down for her, as she is relegated to being something for two men to fight over.  Furthermore, Silver from Girls Town and Penny from Untamed Youth were both characters who required some range – Nora the nurse mainly spends the whole movie being annoyed with the men in her life.  Van Doren could have done much more if anyone had bothered asking it of her.

Let’s see… what else do I hate about this movie? I hate Private Chandler, the guy who stays a Jackass Comic Relief character once that opening is over. Shockingly, The Navy vs the Night Monsters actually kills him off, but he’s not nearly as annoying as Dropo or the guy from Outlaw, so his death merely feels mean rather than having any entertainment value.  The guy was just about to actually get laid by one of the women who’d made fun of him earlier – though she, like Spaulding, showed no sign of being sorry for past jerkitude.

I hate the monsters.  Normally I have a soft spot for plant monsters.  They’re a cliché in their own way, I guess, but they’re a fun idea.  The ones in The Navy vs the Night Monsters kill and digest people with acidic sap, and a character theorizes about how and why such a thing would evolve, which is cool. The execution, however, sucks. While the poster for the film shows us a humanoid Treebeard-looking thing, the actual monsters in the film are dumb-looking stumps that waddle along like a couple of guys trying to move a piece of furniture corner-by-corner because it’s too heavy to lift.  The result reminds me of The Creeping Terror, in that you have to want to get eaten by these things.  At one point a guy walks right up to one, inspects it, and escapes its clutches merely by backing away slowly!

The trees reproduce using insect-like larvae that are, themselves, lethally venomous.  This is also a neat idea which is, once again, ruined by the execution. The tiny ones are being pulled along the floor by a sometimes-visible string, and then they grow into stumps that look like they should be stools around a boy scout campfire, which move even slower than the adult trees!  There’s a scene where the characters are holed up in the base under an onslaught of these, with planes arriving to napalm them just in time, and it is ludicrous in its attempt to feel threatening.

I do like that Gow Island is a bleak middle-of-nowhere rather than a tropical paradise.  The landscapes kind of remind me of the Falkland Islands, though the weather on Gow is evidently better.  You can see why some of the characters hate it here, surrounded by barren scrub inhabited mostly by ten thousand smelly, raucous seabirds. Unfortunately this backdrop makes the ‘comedy’ opening seem even more out of place, though it’s also kind of nice that they didn’t give us any stereotyped ‘natives’ as either comedy or monster fodder.

As for a theme… well, The Navy vs the Night Monsters is clearly about an invasive species.  The biologist, in suggesting how the tree monsters evolved, points out that they are suited to the hostile environment of Antarctica in ways that make them nearly unstoppable anywhere else.  We’re told that they devoured all the penguins the scientists were bringing back for study, and as well as eating the people, they wreak havoc among the Gow Island seabirds and reproduce out of control.  The parallels to things like cane toads in Australia, or housecats just about anywhere, are obvious.

This isn’t something the characters care about, though, even the ones who profess to be scientists.  At the end, enough of the trees are destroyed that the humans can safely evacuate, and what happens after that is clearly Gow Island’s problem, not humanity’s. I really would have liked to see the script go into this a little more, but then, The Navy vs the Night Monsters is not a movie that wants to go into anything, even stuff it sets up in some detail.

At the end, The Navy vs the Night Monsters feels pretty half-assed.  Somebody wanted to make a movie, and then put in the bare minimum effort possible to have all the parts present.  They clearly understood how movies work, but they didn’t have the money and didn’t want to go to the trouble.  The result is deeply mediocre.  There’s a few laughs out of the dumb stump creatures, but mostly it’s just bad.

[smbhax]

From "The Invasion of the Lava Men!" in The Avengers #5, May 1964. Stan Lee script, Jack Kirby pencils & co-plot, Paul Reinman inks, Stan Goldberg(?) colors, Sam Rosen letters. Photoshop color reduction.

[warrioreowynofrohan]

The Silmarillion as a TV/Netflix Series (Part 6)

This is by far the trickiest part, because I have no specific ideas for adapting the strategy and tactics of the War of Wrath. But there are a few big points to settle first. One of the major questions is whether the Valar themselves are going to be involved in the war.

If they are, it’s hard to imagine how the war could take 50 years.

If they aren’t, it’s hard to imagine how it could be won at all: the Vanyar-Noldor army of Valinorean elves is not especially larger than the original Noldorin forces in Middle-earth, and the remaining forces of the Sindar and Noldor of Middle-earth are so far depleted as to be neglibible. So, if it was virtually impossible for the Noldor to defeat Morgoth when they first arrived near the start of the First Age, or during the Long Peace, before he’d had the time to develop more and more dragons and other monsters within Angband, it’s hard to see why it would be possible for similarly-sized Elven armies to defeat him now. (Remember, the Valinorean Noldor are only 10% of the original group of Noldor.) Also, if the Valar aren’t involved, it’s hard to see how the war could be so cataclysmic as to literally destroy the landmass of Beleriand.

The Silmarillion states “The Host of the Valar were arrayed in forms young and fair and terrible, and the mountains rang beneath their feet.” I take this as meaning at least some of the Valar did go to war themselves; while it’s possible to read the phrase as referring to only Maiar, that seems like far from the most obvious reading. Manwë and Varda would not go (I think Tolkien said or implied this somewhere), but Tulkas and Oromë, whose purposes specifically include combat against evil things, certainly would. Ulmo, also, would undoubtedly be involved. And I think Aulë and Yavanna would as well, for love of the shapes and creatures of the world that Morgoth had destroyed and corrupted. I’m not as good as imagining Vana and Nessa in battle-shape, but it’s certainly possible. Of the Fëanturi, Lórien, Estë, and Nienna would come at some point, but in non-combat roles and to do what healing and cleansing of land and spirits as they could. And all these would be accompanied as well by large numbers of Maiar. (Including Melian! Likely including Curumo as well, he seems like the type of person who would want to be involved.)

If there’s a question as to why Eönwë would be commanding when Valar are there, I don’t see a contradiction. The general of an army is neither inherently the most powerful warrior nor the person of the highest social status. If he’s generalling, it’s because that’s the role he’s suited for.

The second major question lies in the basic contradiction between timelines indicating the War of Wrath took about 50 years, and the statement that the onslaught of the winged dragons lasted for “a day and night of doubt” and is one part of the battle noted where the Host of the Valar was on the defensive and retreating. Now, I have no military knowledge, but even to me it seems obvious that a war which lasts for fifty years and in which the largest setback for the victorious side lasts for one day make no freaking sense.

And on top of that, cinematically a fifty-year war would be very difficult to depict. So for the show, I think we’re better off having events proceed considerably more quickly than that.

As far as individual episodes go:

Episode 1: This episode is set-up. In Valinor, preparations for war, and the rising of the Star of Eärendil, seen in Middle-earth (including by Maedhros and Maglor, and Elrond and Elros). In Middle-earth, some scenes of Maedhros and Maglor raising the twins (I think it’s stated somewhere that they went far south, beyond the regions where Morgoth’s for es had a heavy presence). Some scenes on Balar dealing with the aftermath of the Fëanorian attack on Sirion. (What do they do with Fëanorians who surrendered afterwards? What do they do with Fëanorians who changed sides and fought on in their defence but who they still don’t trust?) The episode ends with arrival of the Host of the Valar.

Episodes 2 through 8 are the War itself, which, again, I have no idea how to construct. The Elves of Valinor are arriving by boat; and I expect that the Valar and Maiar would, for the most part, accomoany them. The landing would take place mainly all along the Falas, from Nevrast to the Mouths of Sirion, as well as farther north around the First of Drengist where Fëanor first landed.

Morgoth’s forces are spread throughout all of Beleriand, but vary in type. Hithlum stands out because it is not mainly inhabited by monsters, but by Men - the Easterlings and those among the Edain who are their thralls. I have an impression - partly from the Manwë’s reaction to the later Númenorean invasion, yielding authority to Eru even though the Valar certainly had the capacity to defeat Ar-Pharazon’s army - that the Valar and Maiar would be very uncomfortable about making war against Eruhini, even those who served Morgoth. So the portion of the invasion force at Drengist would be in large part the Edain, with some Elven and Maia support, and soon aided by uprisings among the Edain thralls. The role of Maiar or Valar here would largely be to keep the orcs and wolves and monsters of Morgoth at bay outside the mountains of Hithlum, but to leave the conflict against the Easterlings of Hithlum largely to the Edain and Eldar.

This would bring the northern portion of the army quite close to Angband, but they couldn’t attack from there - the Anfauglith would be packed with monsters and defenses, never mind the ever-present threat of Morgoth flooding the place with lava.

The greater part of the Valinorean forces would sweep east and north from the coast, facing substantial armies’ or Morgoth’s creatures (including cold-drakes, non-winged dragons, wolves, giant spiders, and really anything else horrifying you can think of; but the balrogs are being held in reserve by Morgoth for the defense of Angband). Various Maiar of Morgoth would be involved, including Sauron. One thing to note is that despite the presence of Valar, the Valar aren’t (aside from Tulkas and maybe Oromë) inherently suited to combat - that’s why Tulkas showed up in the first place. Even back in the Ages of the Stars, the Valar’s attack on Utumno was a hard fight - and that was when Morgith’s forces were far smaller than during the War of Wrath, though Morgith himself was personally more powerful then). So it’s not implausible for things to take some time and be challenging.

Episode 7 is the fight against the winged dragons and death on Ancalagon, and Episode 8 is the destruction of Angband and the casting of Morgoth into the Void.

Episode 9 includes Maedhros and Maglor’s demand for the Silmarils, Eönwë’s response, the brothers’ attempts to steal the jewel, and Maedhros’ death and Maglor’s departure from the known lands. This episode would also include scenes of the aftermath of Angband’s overthrow, the freeing of thralls and of captive spirits, in which the Fëanturi and their associated Maiar would have a large role (shout-out to @thearrogantemu’s latest fic!). At least a few of the Maiar who served Morgoth would genuinely surrender, which could be contrasted with Sauron considering surrender but ultimately choosing against it due to being unwilling to face consequences.

Episode 10 is the journey of (some of) the elves of Middle-earth to Valinor; the choice of others to stay (including Galadriel and Celebrimbor’s choices, and Galadriel’s last conversation with her father); and the promise of a new land for the Edain. It would also include the rebirth of Finrod in Valinor, giving hope that many of the audience’s favourite characters are not permanently dead, though it may be a long while before they return to life. I think having this at the very end is the best way to deal with elven rebirth without it feeling like a bit of a cop-out. If Finrod’s alive at the start of Season 6, you’re going to have pragmatically-minded viewers asking why the Valar don’t revive the Noldor as a whole and chuck ‘em at Morgoth - after all, if they die again, they can just come back again! Elven rebirth needs to be treated seriously, not as convenient respawning, so I think introducing it just as a possibility, for many years in the future, and at the end of the series, is the way to go.

This is also a great episode to show all the different reasons for different elves’ decisions on whether to return to Valinor. Returning out of weariness, or desire to see their families, or repentance, or simply having had enough of the endless wars and suffering of Middle-earth, or wanting to see the beauties of Valinor. Staying because they’re attached to Middle-earth; or want to make their own decisions outside the tutelage of the Valar; or are too ashamed to return and see the people they once knew; or, for some (especially Sindar) being unwilling to go to Aman if the Kinslayers can go there and be pardoned as well (“I’d rather live in the Anfauglith than have to share Valinor with them”); or still being curious about what the lands of Middle-earth beyond Beleriand are like; or wanting to know more of the Edain and Dwarves; or feeling a responsibility to aid and heal the world rather than leave it. I could even see a small handful of Vanyar or Valinorean Noldor choosing to stay for a while out of fascination with this world and its people, despite so much of what they had seen of it being horrible.

[eldritch-and-tired]

@misskirby  Hi! Hello! Welcome to my crib! Here today we have a ramble about What If Sidious Couldn’t Quite Fuck EVERYTHING Up- thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, and I hope it makes sense, kinda?

Okayokay SO Vaders Hell Suit was like,,,,, a hell suit. It was awful. Terrible. Painful. Probably not very effective as a medical device. And I know Sidious, being the awful, wrinkly, prune that he is, probably was super creepy and invasive over it, putting shit in, taking shit out, standing over whatever unfortunate surgeon was signed up for the Government-Mandated-But-Medically-Fucked surgery this time and muttering about weird surgical implants he wanted installed in his shiny new apprentice. Remember the kill switch?? I remember the kill switch. 

But. 

I cannot imagine that Every Single Doctor Sidious ever found for his build-a-apprentice project was terminally evil. And I also cannot imagine he used droids for every single step- as much fun as it is torturing Anakin, Darth Raisin also needs a semi-functional murder weapon, so he’s got to have, like, an entire medical team dedicated to keeping this single trainwreck of a man running. But also somehow in the most awful and painful way possible. And look, that is a lot of people to sieve through if you are looking for both A) medical competency and B) evil, so I imagine that there has got to be at the very least one or two people in this group quietly going whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck in a quiet out-of-the-way corner whenever Sidious pops back in like HEY GUYS I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA SERIOUSLY-

Like, come on. How many people become doctors just to torture people?

And I ALSO imagine that in the very early days of the Empire, when most Important People were probably running on stims, hopes, and prayers more than actual sleep or whatever it is that sustains politicians, Sidious must have been pretty fucking busy. Maybe busy enough for a few things to slip through the gaps. 

Maybe busy enough that a newly hired intern to his assembled team of ‘Doctors in charge of Lava Boy’ might have just completely and utterly missed the memo of Do Not Actually Fix This Man, and one fine morning will see this poor, poor intern trotting into Vader's recovery room and presenting him with a folder full of pain management options and asking him which he would like to try.

Have you ever been in serious, unending pain? The kind that never goes away, just kind of simmers and simmers at vaguely manageable levels, that chips away at your energy and your willpower to do anything but lay in a puddle and cry- that’s what Vader is probably experiencing at a very uncomfortable level right now, even drugged to the nines and in and out of surgery rooms as he is. Canon Vader probably wore that suit due to a combination of No Way Out, I Deserve This, and What Do You Mean Your Boss Isn’t Supposed To Torture You? 

But this Vader is tired, sad, and alone. His wife is dead. The temple has burned. He killed children. His legs are gone, his arms are gone, he hurts everywhere and everything sucks and he is teetering on the edge of a black hole and while Sidious is very good at playing the edge of it Vader hurts. So. Bad. 

He doesn’t want to hurt. Sidious hasn’t really had time to sink as many hooks into his brain as he wanted yet, and Vader is still semi-used to those years of ‘you’re free now Anakin’ and doesn’t think twice about sending off this Intern with orders to buy him a big fuckin bag of Space Weed or whatever so he can hurt a little less.  

And like. What is Sidious gonna do about it? By the time he realizes what happened, that his plans have been derailed, this intern is already on Vader's radar. He Knows. If this intern disappears now, Vader will look for him. He can’t get rid of him. Vader is busy horking down anti-inflammatories and appetite inducers and this intern is right there next to him reading off lists of new medications to try or absent mindedly flipping through a data pad and going ‘hey that’s weird you don’t need that surgery or that or that or that and hey wanna try this other brand of prosthetic? they work a lot better, we can schedule you in for some skin grafts, let’s call in this specialist i know i worked with him back over at-’

The rest of the medical team is. Well. Terror would be an understatement. Sidious is Not Happy, but he can’t do shit to this fucking intern as long as Vader is even somewhat aware of him because that would be tipping his cards too early and sharply, and Vader isn’t quite on board with the ‘letting my master torture me for funsies’ train yet.

So Sidious sits. And he seethes. And he moves on, eventually, to other plans to control Vader now that this one has gone so off-the-rails, and meanwhile Vader is getting healthier and healthier and his mind is getting clearer and clearer without so much chronic pain and fucking hell, and one day as he gets back from yet another battlefront, horking down another cupful of pills, he thinks to himself-

wow sidious kind of sucks

And thus begins the end of the Emperor. 

(it really is amazing how much Anakin is capable of when he isn’t hamstrung by a horrible, terrible death suit, even if he is going to be a medical disaster for the rest of his days)

And look, Vader is never gonna be a Nice Guy. He is a Sith. He kills people. He chokes his coworkers and beheads people he doesn’t like, terrifies his enemies and his allies and has so little patience for bootlickers and social climbers he once gutted a socialite right in the middle of a high-society function he was ostensibly playing bodyguard for. He is grumpy and impatient and stupidly powerful and irritatingly competent and makes few friends and a great many enemies. 

But he still beheads Sidious ten years into his new Empire and ascends to the throne as his old masters body cools on the durasteel behind him. 

And this new Empire is… well. Still terrible and facist and fond of genocide. Anakin still leads by bloody example, and despite how much he hates the throne and delegates as much of the actual politicking and paperwork and etcetera off to whomever he can find, he can and will find time to forcefully input some changes. 

There is no slavery in this new Empire. Nepotism is considered a death wish. Corruption and pointless cruelty are less easily dealt with, but the worst offenders are dragged off and made very delicious and bloody examples of- Vader is a flawed man/machine, but what he can or cannot tolerate amongst his personal command tends to trickle down and get absorbed by osmosis by anyone with a lick of sense in their head. 

So now, Vader doesn’t build any kind of paradise. It’s still a tyrannical government where aspiring young senators that get drunk on too much brandy at fancy functions can and will get thrown out of windows for vomiting on the wrong pair of boots, where people are oppressed and where rebellion stews quietly in the background, but-

But. 

Vader has always been the kind of general to be, if not liked, than respected by the men he leads. You could find worse people to head an Empire, even one so great and terrible as this. 

[writing-the-end]

Feral Friendship- Part 4

Previous Chapter

Masterpost

The last oneshot during the span of wandering stars! Every ten chapters, after chapter X1, I’d post this silly little story. There’s still two more parts, so they might be drizzled in with LoL. But after this, it’s a straight shot to the finale!

Red belongs to @theguardiansofredland

Ecto belongs to @cooler-cactus-block

“Things couldn’t have gone smoother on the way out. We found the dig team, though they’re definitely going to need some help escaping the hellpit they’re stuck in.” Cleo unfurls the red banner before Joe and Cub, watching both men sit up and reach for what the girls retrieved. Cleo winces as False plucks a cactus needle from her shoulder. “It was the way back that was...rough.” 

“What happened to y’all?” Joe slides over the map to help pull thorns from his friends. They’re covered in cactus spines, some even whole pieces of the plant. Like burrs, stuck to skin rather than clothes. 

“We captured the flag, though it was perched on a cactus. But then the sand around us started to fall. We managed to run through without falling in, but only by tossing ourselves into a whole stand of the prickly plants.” Cleo folds the banner to be hung. “It really, really hurt for sure.” 

“Is that it?” Cub questions. “Why are you soaking wet?”

“We figured out where the last flag is!” Stress squeals, before hissing a curse under her breath when False takes the moment of excitement to pull out another needle. 

“Really? Where is it? What kind of traps are there? Have all three been keeping it hidden?” Cub is hungry for the information. Finally, things are going right for the hermits. Avon has been chased off at least five times, searching for their last flag. But they may know exactly where her team’s is.

“It’s in the ocean. We don’t know where, but we tried goin’ in. A huge wave just spat us out every time.” It definitely was too often, too precisely timed to be anything but Red. It was torturous, the moment they finally got deep enough to consider swimming, the ocean would thrash them back to the beach. 

The trio left the jungle at midnight, and dawn is just starting to peek out. “We couldn’t get a good look at what’s underwater, but it has to be down there. They’re playing to their strengths.” 

Cub looks down at his map. He moves the final scrap into the blue at the edge of the playfield. It makes sense that the wanderers would be using the land to maximize such small numbers. But it still makes no sense how Red is the last one to face. He was sure Avon would be the final boss, and Red would have just given it up. Everything Cub thought he knew has been turned around. “This is it. We’re so close to winning. Cleo, you take half the gang, our best fighters, and take on the ocean. Joe and I will keep Avon at bay here.” 

If they can keep Avon from finding their flag, all while going for Red’s, then this game is as good as won. How hard can Red’s flag be? Cleo grins, saluting Cub and marching off with the other girls. They’re definitely a part of the fighting team, and she’d want no one else at her side. Also they still need to get the rest of the cactus needles off them. 

Once they’re out of Cub’s earshot, False groans. “We have to go all the way back and retrieve another flag? Do you think we’ll have to face Ecto going in?” 

“Oh, I’m sure of it. They have to be on high alert because of our job.” Cleo looks up, seeing a shadowy figure flying high in the sky, only to be chased off by two other people. Avon. “At least she hasn’t found the last one yet. But I don’t think she’s going to ever stop looking.” 

The other two nod in agreement, before False leans over and strips Stress of a couple thorns- much to the behest of the magenta master. Down a dirt path, the trees open up to the clearing where every other hermit has been resting. They retreated from the border to protect the last flag, taking shifts and keeping one eye on the sky at all times. 

“It seems like Avon’s the only one going after our flags.” Jevin mumbles as he watches a steak cook on the campfire. He’s so hungry, he could eat a whole cow. 

“That’s why we need to keep an eye on every last thing, man.” Zedaph adds. “They could be tricking us! Distracting us with Avon while Red or Ecto are creeping in on the flag.” 

“Do you really think they’re that well strategized?” Etho questions, looking up and watching the winged wanderer circling in the morning sun. She’s like a phantom, but worse. At least phantoms burn in the day. 

“They may not, but we are.” Cleo flourishes her rapier, digging the tip into the ground and leaning on it proudly. She calls out the names of hermits she knows are good with a weapon. Be it a sword, bow, or trident, the camp is soon divided into two groups. One to go with the girls, take on whatever Ecto and Red have waiting for them. And one to remain behind, fend off Avon and keep their own flag from the clutches of the wanderers. 

“Cleo, do you think you should do a rallying talk or somethin’? To boost team morale? Yer the best of us when it comes to elegant prose.” Stress asks.

“Yeah, you’re the best wordsmith, you and Joe. An artist of literature. Give us an awesome speech.” False pushes Cleo forward. Into the sunlight shafting through the trees. 

Cleo clears her throat, taking a deep breath and looking out across the other hermits. She needs a rousing speech, to stir the hearts of all hermitkind. Cleo brushes back her hair, and finally speaks. “Try not to get deded, guys.” 

And that’s all she got. 

_________________________________________

If rushing the cactus barrier was equivalent to bastille, then making it across the desert was comparable to Normandy. A large swatch of the desert was still trapped or guarded by cacti, sand waiting to be disturbed by ignorant feet. Waiting to swallow the hermits whole at any moment. The cacti had to be squeezed past like they were lava floes, even the hermits with armor avoided the prickly plant to the best of their ability. 

But worst of all in the desert wasn’t the pitfalls, or the cacti. It wasn’t even the numerous husks that refused to die in the sunlight. It was a creature more terrifying, more dangerous than any creeper. Ecto with a bow. 

She appeared from nowhere, leaping across cacti without a care for getting hurt. She knew how to stand just right so that she avoided getting the worst damage. Arrows would whiz past the hermits, opening up caverns in the sand all around them. None of Ecto’s arrows ever actually hit the invasion, but perhaps because they were running too fast for her to get a good shot. They aren’t retreating, but rather pushing through the desert to reach the shoreline. 

The water is calm, not even a ripple against the sands. False pulls out her sword. “Do you think we’ll make it in this time?” 

“We won’t stop until we do. Stress, does everyone have potions?” Cleo hears the clinking noise of glass bottles, cork stops being freed, and the rapid drinking of the disgusting liquid. Most potions don’t taste good, unless it’s swiftness or healing. Swiftness just tastes like soda, but a potion of healing might as well be the nectar of the gods. Ambrosia, sweet and savory. But every other potion leaves the consumer with a twisted face. A potion of leaping usually still has fur in the mix, strength leaves a burning sensation down the throat, and even slow falling feels like a residue of the phantom is still around well after brewing. 

But water breathing has to be the worst. It’s viscous, slowly rolling down in a thick mix between liquid and solid. Like applesauce and sand mixed into a disgusting puree. The aftertaste is vaguely reminiscent of being poisoned, but with more fish. And within the potion, scales of the pufferfish float. Waiting to get stuck in between teeth or halfway down the gullet. 

But with no clue where the flag is underwater, the hermits have to take their medicine. Even Cleo gags, gulping the potion down. Keralis coughs behind her, nearly retching. “Ugh, it tastes like seaweed.” 

“It tastes worse than seaweed.” Xisuma corrects, face twisted. “Let’s just get this done quick so we don’t have to drink more.” 

Xisuma wades into the water, holding his sword and peering into the world below the waves. The girls wait for a wave to toss him back to shore, but it never arrives. Cleo isn’t sure if she likes that change. Something feels off. A horrible feeling is setting in on her. She feels like she’s playing demise all over again, suddenly every little thing can be a way for her to lose. “Xisuma, please watch-”

In a blink, the space XIsuma occupied is empty. The entire team leaps back, and only Keralis dares to speak up. “Sheshwammy. He’s...he’s gone.” 

“What even happened?” Tango questions, daring to shuffle forward to where Xisuma once stood. Everyone braces for Tango to get swept away as well, but nothing happens. Confidently, Tango jumps into the deeper water like nothing can kill him. He’s better at this than Xisuma. 

The others move forward, in a united front, like penguins waiting to see which poor soul would be the first to brave the dangers below. Just as they’re about to dive in, Tango resurfaces. Bubbles surface around him, like the water is boiling. Dragging him back even as his fingers grip the sandy shallows. Kelp is wrapped around his feet, hobbling him from kicking. “Tell my dungeon game I love it!” 

Tango loses his grip, and disappears into the depths. Doc attempts to grab his hermit son from being towed out to sea, but only dives headfirst into the saltwater. He blinks the water, taking a deep breath of the ocean. 

And seeing the horror before him. Nothing that Ecto or Avon ever did could prepare him for what he’s laid his eyes upon. It’s worse than demise, or the civil war. Tall kelp plants wrap around red blocks of TNT, explosive seeds waving in the current. Waiting to be brushed by and set off. Sharp coral fans spike the field before him, razors hoping to slice the hermits like swords. The ocean is filled with more pufferfish than Doc can count, bumping into one another and inflating. Spikes of poison to lace into the skin of an unsuspecting hermit. A drowned floats up from the coral reef, slack jaw gurgling water as a slimy arm tosses a trident. It narrowly misses Doc, but does hit another trap just behind him. Ink spills from the clutch of sacs, darkening the water and obscuring his sight. He can’t even see his own sword as he swings it in front of him. 

Doc wipes the ink free of his eyes, burning at the mucusy ink all over him. Guardians are flooding the ocean, bubble beams grabbing hold of any unfortunate soul and dragging them into the depths. Far from the surface, through a crag field of coral, and deep into a cave below. He can hear his friends screaming, either fleeing or being attacked by what seems like the entire ocean. 

He can also hear...singing? It whispers on the current, every so often punctuated by a laugh. While the laughs are bubbly, floating up to the surface as the giggle rises in pitch, the song is being sung slowly, in a key that makes every hair on Doc’s body stand on end. “I’ll sing you a song of the fish in the sea…”

Doc knows this song. He spent enough time around Wels to pick up a few sea shanties. And what he remembers, nothing good happens at the end of the story. “Whe-where are you? S-show yourself, coward!” 

But Red never appears, despite the laughter continuing before the humming picks back up. A guardian turns it’s eye on Doc, brow furrowing. Bubbles begin to churn the water between the fish and Doc. He can feel himself being pulled in, like a rip current dragging him out to sea. “Then up jumps the shark with his nine rows of teeth.”

He needs to get out. Now. There’s no hope to save the hermits already gone, but maybe at least a few escaped before the traps got them. Doc swims as hard as he can, clawing at the sand and gripping the stalks of kelp to escape the pull of the bubbles. He needs to get back. He needs to report to Cub. Doc breaks free of the bubble beam, launching himself from barely moving more than an inch to being thrown onto the dry shore. 

“Oh thank goodness. Where are the others?” Cleo grabs Doc, hauling him to his feet and brushing the sand from the soaking wet labcoat. 

“They’re gone. It’s too late. We have to get out of here.”

[gone4neow]

DUOTROYS ⚠︎ pcy

Chapter Seven

- chanyeol x reader, soulmate au, fantasy au that i threw together (inspired by the movie Pacific Rim)

- warnings : violence, swearing, mature themes, and robots

- word count : 3,165

chapter six or chapter eight or masterlist

⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎

"Whose room is this?" Chanyeol asked when the trio came up on a metal door. He watched as Naoki answered his question by pulling out her key and unlocked the door. She entered the room quickly and the two men followed after her. Jongdae shut the door behind him. He realized that this was his first time being inside the room, despite showing up and knocking on the door every morning. His eyes scanned the plain room. It was a sharp contrast to others he had been in. Most people attempted to make their rooms feel like home. Naoki seemed to avoid doing that entirely.

"Do you have to be so tall?" The woman huffed as she turned around and faced Chanyeol's chin. The room was small enough with just her in it and now she was accompanied by two others. It didn't help that one was practically a giant.

"You don't like tall people?" The man replied in a panicked tone. She looked up and met his eyes. They were narrowed, full of worry, and had a bright glimmer within them that she found enduring. She had only seen light like that in someone else's eyes once; it had been Totty's.

"Shut up," she breathed out as she scanned the room. She pointed at her bed before speaking one short word.

"Sit."

The giant man obeyed, turning slightly so that he could place himself down on the bed. The woman almost laughed at the way she had to lower her eyes to meet Jongdae's gaze after the tall man was no longer being a wall between them.

"You can sit too," she told the man softly as she turned to rummage through the stack of books on the table behind her. She didn't read very often before she arrived her, but after visiting the facility's library she found herself recalling the days before the invasion where she would read any book she could get her hands on. Though she had shaken off the habit after the invasions began, she couldn't resist the way they called out to her when she had no other sources of entertainment besides Jongdae. Old habits do die hard.

The men watched her as she fiddled around with the books until a light, victorious 'ah-ha' filled the air. The woman turned around with a notebook in her left hand and a black ink pen in her right. She passed the objects over to Jongdae, who glanced between her and the objects with raised eyebrows.

"Here's how this is going to go down. You're going to write down a word on the paper, I'll read it, tell Chanyeol what it is, and then he will tell you what it is," she told him as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Ooh! That sounds fun!" the tall man exclaimed cheerfully from beside him. Naoki's eyes skimmed over his excited expression, hating the way the sight of his crinkled eyes and wide smile made her feel. The man was an overgrown child - how was she not supposed to find him adorable?

"He'll see from beside me," the man holding the notebook protested in the form of an exaggerated whine. It was a sound the woman had grown used to. She rolled her eyes again for the second time that day.

"Okay. Then up! You and I will go out into the hallway and Chanyeol can yell through the door. The people next door totally won't mind," she told him in a grumpy tone as she walked towards the door. She waited for him to join her and she opened the door for him to exit when he finally made it to her. She went to step outside, but suddenly froze. Chanyeol met her eyes as she turned her torso just enough to look at him.

"Don't go through my stuff or I will slaughter you," she warned as she pointed a finger in his direction. He swallowed nervously, knowing she was more than capable of slaughtering him.

"Slaughter? That's-" she heard Jongdae begin to tease the woman just before the door was shut. Their voices became muffled once the metal door sealed them off from the room. Chanyeol glanced around the room with the woman's warning still echoing through his head. His thumbs chased each other subconsciously as he waited for the woman to reach out to him.

"Okay, I don't know what word to write," Jongdae confessed after his hand had hovered over the notebook page for a minute. The woman had thought he had been writing a sentence this entire time. She scoffed in disbelief.

"Any word, Dae! It doesn't have to be something specific," she told him with a small sigh. He frowned, trying to think of a word. The woman watched him concentrate and after a few seconds she found herself about to reach over and right a word for him. It was his sudden snicker and rushed hand movements that made her hand relax by her side.

'Park Chanyeol smells bad,' she read on the paper when the guard finally showed the page to her. She wanted to make a comment about how she was surrounded by nothing but childish idiots but she held back. She was in a rush to prove the guard wrong. So, she repeated the sentence back to Chanyeol. The man yelled something from the other side of the room, but Naoki realized her plan was flawed. She reach over and cracked the door open, calling out for Chanyeol to repeat hisself.

"I don't smell bad!" He yelled with offense in his voice. The woman glanced over her shoulder at Jongdae, who had frozen completely. There was a blank expression as he stared at the door. She wondered what was going through his mind.

"Do another one," she told him gently. His movements were slow but he found himself moving to write something else on the paper.

'October 16th' she read when he had lifted his hand from the page. She wanted to ask what the date meant, as it was recent, but she refrained from doing so. Instead, she repeated the words back to Chanyeol like she had last time.

"October 16th?" The giant called from inside her room. Jongdae's face paled at this. He looked at Naoki with horror on his face. It was the first time he had ever looked at her with such an expression.

"It's true then," he whispered, more to himself than to her. She found herself nodding in confirmation anyways.

"My father used to tell me that if I ever met a pair that could communicate telepathically that they were bad, bad people and that I should not associate with them in any way," the man confessed in a distant tone as his eyes drifted away from the woman and landed on the dark colored wall behind her.

"Is that why you didn't believe us?" The woman asked in a quiet tone. The man nodded weakly. Naoki found herself at a loss for words. What could she possibly say that would cause a change in the atmosphere after that? It was tense, all throughout the hallway, and anyone would have been able to feel it.

Chanyeol was focusing on the table of books when his hand felt as if he dipped it in a pool of lava. Then came her emotions. He felt the combination of shame and pity that she felt and he called out for her silently.

"Jongdae's father warned him to stay away from people like us," she explained to him. He frowned at her words and pushed himself off the bed to join the two out in the hallway. He was met with the sight of Jongdae staring blankly at the wall and Naoki looking over her shoulder at the man with a frown on her face when he pushed the door open completely. She turned to face him when she noticed his presence.

"What happens now?" He asked her quietly. She shrugged, not knowing what to say to him, either.

"I'm not going to leave because of this. My father was a good man - a great man - but he was easily frightened by things he didn't understand," Jongdae paused as he let his eyes avert away from the wall and over to the pair of soulmates. They stood by the door with their eyes, now, focused on him and he felt almost intimidated by they power they radiated when standing next to one another. He licked his lips before he spoke again.

"I've never once doubted my father's beliefs in my life, but I know you, Naoki. You're not bad, and Chanyeol seems like a good guy. I didn't know how to take this information at first - I didn't want to believe it at first - but I understand now. I felt it when I first met you, Ki, and this has only strengthened by belief that you will be the one to save the world."

"Dae," The woman whispered as she saw the hope glimmering in his eyes. She didn't know what the relationship between the guard and his father was like, or even if the man was still alive, but she knew it must have been something that meant a lot to him from the way he had reacted towards her over the telepathic ordeal. To have him say that he had to go against his father's beliefs because he believed in her so strongly made her feel a way she had never before. The weight on her shoulder felt heavier. His words were a burden, but she welcomed them. They were a good burden.

She turned and looked at Chanyeol with misty eyes. She would have never admitted it, but the man knew she was fighting hard to not release her tears. Jongdae had an effect on her that not many people had managed to achieve during her lifetime. In fact, she could probably count the number of people that had succeeded in doing so on one hand. In that moment, all of her fears seemed to vanish. There was nothing that she wouldn't do for the guard. I'll be brave for you, she thought to herself.

Though her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she could hear it in her ears, she found herself raising her left hand up. It trembled as it always did when her nerves got the best of her. Chanyeol's eyes immediately flickered towards the hand, before they found her dark eyes staring at him with an intensity that made his heart flutter. He understood what she was asking of him.

"Tell me it's what you want. Tell me you won't regret it tomorrow," he whispered to her with that low, husky voice of his. His eyes searched hers for a sign that she didn't want it, but he couldn't find one if it existed. His eyes flickered down to her pink lips, awaiting the sound of her voice to escape the confines of her mouth.

"Please do it," she begged him quietly. She knew she didn't have the strength to do it herself; she needed Chanyeol's help with this one. With his own shaky hand, her soulmate reach up slowly. She watched his hand as it closed the distance between it and then it was there. She could feel the warmth of his palm immediately. The sound of his heartbeat mixed with hers for a second, and then it quietened down. If she focused enough, she could hear it in the back of her mind where she heard his voice when they communicated silently. It was as if he had his own little home in the back of her head.

Chanyeol's long fingers danced along the skin of her hand until they were sneaking their way between hers. He expected her to pull away, to push him to the side, and to hide away in her room for the rest of the day - she didn't, though. She let her eyes close as she focused on the rhythm of his heartbeat and held his hand tenderly in her own.

"I believe this calls for a celebratory dinner," Jongdae suddenly spoke from behind the pair. Chanyeol looked up at the man with wide eyes, startled by his presence even though he had known the man was there. Naoki pulled her hand out of her soulmates in a hasty manner, turning to look at her best friend with flushed cheeks. She had forgotten he was there.

"It's been a minute and you've already forgotten I exist?" He teased her playfully when he noticed the look on her face. The smile that formed on her face at his words only made him grin. He glanced down at his watch and his grin faltered at the time of the hour.

"Ah, it's the big guy's bed time in twenty minutes. We should head out," he announced as his gaze shifted from the object on his wrist to Chanyeol. The dark haired man released a sigh but stepped around Naoki carefully to stand by the guard's side. She swallowed nervously as she eyed the two men. What would happen now?

"I'll be here late tomorrow. Sleep in for once. You deserve it after today," The guard told her as he pointed at her. There was still a small smile on his face.

"Okay mom. Rest well," she joked. The corners of Chanyeol's mouth rugged upward at this and her eyes found his seconds later.

"Goodnight," she said to him.

"Goodnight," he told her before the guard reach over and tugged at the sleeve of his uniform's shirt. The woman watched as they walked away, ignoring the way her stomach reacted when the giant glanced over his shoulder at her as he left.

"Do I really stink?" She heard him as Jongdae once they were farther down the hall. She scoffed in disbelief before she turned around and entered her room for the night.

Jongdae hadn't been lying when he said he would be showing up late the next day. He arrived around eleven thirty, his light knocks disturbing the woman from the nap she had been trying to take. She hadn't gotten much sleep that night due to the previous day's events. It was okay, she didn't mind it too much.

The guard insisted on getting lunch together since they hadn't been able to get breakfast that morning. She agreed without hesitation. They were sitting at their usual table discussing the training schedule for that week when a man called out Chanyeol's name from the other side of the room. It was the same man that the giant always chatted with during meals. Naoki had even spotted them chatting while walking in the halls sometimes.

"Look at him," Jongdae scoffed as he watched the tall man walk across the cafeteria with all the confidence in the world. His head was held high, a wide grin was stretched across his face, and his skin glowed as if he were a mythical creature. Naoki could hear the amusement in the guard's voice as he watched the man strut around the room confidentially. She hadn't been particularly amused by it until the clumsy giant accidentally bumped into someone and made them drop their tray. He apologized repeatedly as soon at the collision occurred and, thankfully, the woman was kind enough to let it go. Naoki knew why the woman had been so forgiving. Her rosy cheeks and flirtatious smile had been enough for the entire room to know, but Chanyeol seemed obvious to it.

"He's embarrassing. Do we have to take him out in public?" Naoki asked the guard playfully as she looked over at him. He swallowed the bite of his sandwich he had been chewing on before he answered.

"I take you out in public, don't I?"

"Can I sit with you?" She heard Chanyeol's voice in the back of her head.

"No," she told him playfully.

"Can I bring Baekhyun, too?" the man added a moment later.

"Bigger no," she replied. It was about two minutes later that the giant appeared in front of her with a stranger by his side. The two sat down, one with a shy smile on his face and the other with a wide grin.

"Dae, can you explain to Chanyeol what the word 'no' means?" Naoki asked her friend as she pointed over at the black haired man.

"Friendship bracelets?" The man next to Chanyeol asked as he looked back and forth between the woman and the guard's wrists. They had both propped their elbows on the table at they ate their lunch. Naoki felt herself automatically lower her arms from view. Jongdae simply kept chewing his food, unbothered by the attention.

"Why don't we have friendship bracelets?" The man asked Chanyeol with a small pout on his face. The giant laughed as he looked at the man, thinking he was kidding. When the man didn't laugh with him, he froze.

"You want friendship bracelets?" He asked the man. The man looked away quickly, as if he didn't have a clue what the friendly giant was talking about.

"Who is he?" Naoki asked Chanyeol. She watched as the man's eyes widened. He snapped his fingers together before he placed a long arm around the stranger's shoulder.

"This is Baekhyun. We met on the bus ride here. Baekhyun - this is Guard Kim and Naoki, my soulmate," the dark haired man introduced the three.

"Hi," Jongdae smiled warmly at the man. Baekhyun flashed him a wide smile in return, reaching his hand out for the guard to shake.

"Hi," Naoki said after a moment. She didn't greet him with a smile and there was no enthusiasm in her voice, but Baekhyun reach his hand out for her to shake once Jongdae pulled away from him. She glanced down at the hand, forcing herself to reach across the table and shake it. She didn't have to avoid touching people anymore. She was already bonded to her soulmate now.

"You're even prettier than what Chanyeol said you were," Baekhyun complimented her. She felt her face grow warm. From the way the man's smile grew, he had noticed.

"You think I'm pretty?" She taunted the friendly giant with a raised eyebrow. His eyes widened at the question and snapped over to his friend as he hit the man's arm with mock anger.

"I think the exact words were 'ah, my soulmate is the prettiest woman I've ever seen. She's like a Greek goddess or one of those girls from those dramas I watch-" the man had been speaking in a high pitched tone as he imitated his friend, until Chanyeol's large hand rested over his mouth and blocked his words from escaping. Jongdae was laughing hysterically at the scene. The three men were so caught up in their own moment of chaos that they hadn't even registered the sound of the woman's laughter.

⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎

a/n: listen, writing this chapter made me feel something that i cannot even describe and i hope that you all feel the same way after reading it. i love these characters so, so much. i try to reflect their personalities as we know them in my writing, but i have to wing it when it comes to how they would react to the situations i conjure up while writing - so i apologize if anyone seems out of "character". as always, thanks for reading! ☺︎

[ericahitshawaii]

From the land

Today I am leaving the ocean and heading to the land.  The Big Island is even more biodiverse than Maui.  It contains 11 of the 14 climate zones in the world.  They even have snow on their tallest peak, Mauna Kea.  Today I am heading south og Kona to explore a Chocolate Farm, a coffee farm and a bee apiary!

Chocolate Farm

The Original Hawaiian Chocolate factory is the only chocolate producer in an industrialized country that processes the chocolate from the plant all the way to the final product.  Most chocolate producers start with the dried cocoa bean.  The beautiful estate grows cacao (the pod that chocolate is made from), macadamia nuts and coffee.  The entire operation is run by only eight staff, including the owner (Bob) and his wife.  (American Ex-pats)

Above are the tree that the cacao pods grow on.  They are about the size of a large eggplant when fully ripe.  Iniside these pods there is a fibrous membrane (like in a squash) that contains seeds.  These seeds have to be fermented and dried to give them the chocolate flavor.  This produces chocolate nibs which are ground to make cocoa powder, which becomes chocolate.  (More or less, you can google it if you want to fact check me on this one.)

Cacao pods growing in the trees.  This variety will will turn a bright yellow when they are ripe. 

Ripe cacao pods.  They grow in a variety of colors.  For example green pods turn yellow when ripe, maroon pods turn candy apple red when ripe.  Other colors include purple, orange and rainbow!

These are the seeds (or cocoa beans) inside of the pod.  They are covered with a bitter coating that will help ferment the seeds.

After they have fermented, they are cleaned off and left outside to dry on these racks.

Cocoa beans on the drying rack.  These will be ground to make the cocoa powder used to make chocolate!  This chocolate farm only makes milk and dark chocolate.

Fun fact:  White chocolate is not actually made from the solid bean, it is made from cocoa butter, which is extracted from the bean.  Since there are no cocoa butter extractors on the island, they are limited to milk and dark chocolate only.

It was really interesting to see this done as a small operation, given the extremely unjust conditions that many cacao growers face in developing countries.  At least one aspect of eating chocolate was guilt-free today! m On to cofee next!

Coffee Farm

There is a oot of coffee grown in Hawaii so I had lots of options for a coffee tour.  No one will be surprised to hear that I chose the Kona Historic Socity’s Living History coffee farm!!  YEA!  The nerdiest of an already nerd activity!

So...the Kona Historical Society has preserved one of the early coffee farms on the island that was run by a Japanese family.  It was purchased by the Ushida family in 1913.  The Ushida’s had immigrated from Japans and decided to take up farming.  However, they had no experience farming coffee when they bought the coffee farm in 1913.  The spent the next few years learning from local farmers how to grow it.  This was the beginning of what we know know as the Kona coffee industry, which was led mostly by Japanese immigrants.  The Ushida’s were one of the first Japanese families to do it and encouraged and inspired many other to take up the trade throughout the 20th century.

Fun fact:  In the 1940s 50% of people living in Hawaii were Japanese.

The Ushida’s tore down the small farmhouse that was on the property when they purchased it and built a traditional Japanese home.  The Ushida’s had 5 children, who all shared a three room house (a iving area, bedroom and kitchen).

The Ushida farmhouse, built circa 1917.

To be totally honest, I had absolutely no idea how coffee grew.  I knew it came from beans, but that was about it.  Well...it grows on trees.  Coffee trees can live and produce coffee for hundreds of years, in fact.  Coffee beans actually form inside of these cmall round berries.  (They sort of look like cranberries.)  They are green when unripe and turn a bright red color when ripe.  Inside each berry is a small amount of flesh (similar to grapes) and in the center is a coffee bean.  In order to make coffee, the berries have to be picked, the skin and flesh need to be removed, the beans need to be dried and then they can be roasted.  Coffee beans are harvested 4 months out the year from September - December.

Coffe tree.  The base of this tree is over 100 years old.  The branches are trimmed every few years, but the base and root systems can remain for hundreds of years.

Coffee berries.  These are small because the are yound.  They are about cranberry sized.  The will grow to be closer to grape size when it is time to harvest next September.

The Ushida’s also grew other plants for subsistence farming and to sell at local markets.  Although the weather in Hawaii is perfect for growing almost anything, it can sometime be difficult to farm because of the lava rock that covers most of the land.  Plants that do very well in Hawaii have extremely strong root systems that can actually break through the rock or grow within cracks a crevasses in the rock.  (Like coffee, cacao and pineapple).

It’s a baby pineapple!  It’s one of the only plants, where if you plant any part of the pineapple it is capable of growing a new one.

This may look like a cucumber, but it is actually a plant that grows bath loofahs.  Yep, for real.

See!?!  I didn’t make this up.

During the 4 month harvesting season, the Ushida men would wake up at 2:30 to start harvesting and finish after sunset.  The women would wake up at 4:30am.  The entire family, including small chilren, would harvest the beans.  The most difficult part of the process was removing the skin and flesh from the beans.  It is only since WWII that most farmers had a mechanized process to do it.  For centuries it was done by stomping on them with your feet.  Like grapes.

Once the beans are removed from the berries, they need to be dried, which can take up to 10 days.  The Ushida’s would leave them out in the sun to dry and bring them into the shed when it rained and at night.  At any given time there would be over 1000 pounds of beans drying.  (On average, an adult could pick 150 lbs. a day).  In the 1940 the Ushida’s developed a brillant idea to create a drying platform on the top of the barn/shed that had a sliding roof, so that they could cover the beans at night or during rain and not have to carry the beans in.  Genius.  This is the original roof and the sliding mechanism still works perfectly!

Kona coffee is still an institution in Hawaii.  Descendants of the Ushida family lived in the original house until 1994.  (They never modernized the house, it still had a wood burning stove and outhouse/outdoor bath house)  The historical society bought it and preserved it.  It is still a working farm today.

Lunch

L&L Barbeque is Hawaiian fast food institution.  I stopped here for lunch and was not disappointed.  Many of the things on the menu reflect the Asian and Japanese heritage of the island.  I ordered the chicken lovers platter, BBQ chicken,  Chicken katsu and...something else delicious.

Chicken Lovers Plate

Bees

My last stop for the day was Big Island Bees.  A bee apiary.

Big Island Bees, Kona

I have always been obsessed with bees (and colony animals in general, like ants) so I was SO EXCITED about this.  I have probably told many of you this, but the U of M refused to let me volunteer at their bee lab and I am still really bitter about it.

Kim, the master Bee keeper, gave us free samples and showed us the hives.  They have several sites across the island that produce different kinds of honey.  There are two ways to get flavored honey.  One is to infuse a flavor into already created honey, like pepper or cinnamon.  The other is to place the hives in a area where they have access to only one or prodominantly one kind of flower.  Their bees make three kinds of honey.  One from Macadamia Nut trees, one from the Wilelaiki blossom on theChristmasberry tree (introduced in Hawaii from Brazil) and the rareist type, the Lahua blossom honey, which comes from the Ohi’a trees.  Ohi’a trees are found only on Hawaii and grow out of lava rock.  The honey is naturally white.  (Apparently you can buy Big Island Honey at costco!)

So I learned a lot of cool stuff about bees.  I could write for hours about it, but I’m just going to give you my favorite fun facts.  If you want to know more, let’s hang out!

Fun fact 1: Queens can live for 1-5 years, where as the rest of the bees in the hive only live 4-8 weeks.

Fun fact2:  All of the worker bees in the hive are female.  The only male bees in the hive are called Drones.  Their only job is to mate with the Queen, so when the food is scarce or the hive is in trouble, the female workers bees evict the Drones by biting off their wings, pushing them out of the hive and leaving them on the ground to die.  Sorry fellas, they don’t have time for freeloaders!  I love bees!

Fun fact 3:The worker bees go through four different jobs in their short lives 1) Take care and feed of the baby bees, which hatch in the cells in the hive, feed and take care of the queen, protect the hive, and forage for pollen.

Fun fact 4: Bees are super ruthless, if the queen is not doing so hot, the hive releases special pharamones (sp?) so that the queen will give birth to her own replacement and then they will kill the queen once she’s born.  Total mutiny.  

Not so fun fact 5: Bees are in trouble because of a small hive mite that has starting taking over the hives, laying eggs in the cells and eventually forcing the bees out of the hive.  Hives have to be checked and treated regularly to keep from being infested by these small invasive beetles from Asia.  Boo!

Beekeeper Lisa

One hive.  It contains both the cells for honey and for making baby bees.  This hive has no drones, because it is a slow honey producer, so they opted to kill all of the drones until they have more honey.

The queen is in here somewhere..

Lastly, bees can make art.  Their so cool and talented.  I am ecited because my goal for this spring and summer is to plant a pollinator friendly yard.  I applied for a grant to do, I will know shortly if I got it.  My eventual goal would be to have a hive in my yard, but it is really hard to overwinter bees in Minnesota, so I might have to work up to this.  Future goals...

Honeycomb sculpture (Real honeycomb that the bees constructed over a metal frame)

That’s it for the day.  Tomorrow: Travel along the southern coast of the island to visit the Place of Refuge National Historic Park and one of only 4 green sand beaches in the world.

[superwolfiestar]

Super Caballeros Rewritten Ch.8

A little up the road from where the heroes were travelling was a decent sized army guarding the path. It consisted of 200 beagles guards. "Alright men," shouted the commander of the small army. "We got a couple of two plumbers here to foil Zeus's plan. Our job here is to not let them get any further. Stand your ground and let's break these two skulls." The army stationed there roared in agreement as they prepared for the incoming invasion. They saw the impending fight coming up ahead when they spotted the small army.

"This is it Jose," Panchito clenched both fists looking ready for a fight. "There is no turning back. This battle will probably alarm everyone in the Darklands including King Zeus himself. Everyone besides the boy princess is the enemy." Jose clenched his fists, also ready to fight off whatever approached his way with his magic.

"I'm ready." Said Jose as they ran up towards the small army and then stopped a few feet away from the horde of bad guys.

"This is your last chance you perky scum," said the Beagle commander, getting ready to signal his beagles army to attack. "Turn back now and we will spare your lives. There is no hope for you against our mighty army, or against the might of Zeus himself."

"We'll see about that," both of them replied, equipping their flower power up, which gave them the power to throw fireballs from their hands.

The Beagle commander sighed and then ordered the army to attack. Without thinking, they decided to play around with the fire power up and see what abilities it had.

"Hmm," Jose thought. "I wonder what happens if I do this." Jose made a stance which allowed him to cast out his first fireball, and instantly burnt down a Beagle trying to attack him. The rest of the beagles troops then stopped in its tracks, realizing what Jose had just done.

"Mhmmm," said Panchito sniffing the air. "I love the smell of roasted Beagle in the morning, or whatever time it is. With that darn dark clouds in the way it's so hard to keep track of time here."

"Alright I get the joke," Jose said impatiently. "In case you haven't noticed, we have a battle to win here."

"Oh right." Panchito said casting his own fireball which burned a Beagle. "Would you like turtle bisque instead?" Jose then face palmed himself recognizing how stupid the joke was.

The Beagle commander looked at the two dead troops then looked at both of the plumber birds. "I had enough of this delay. ATTACK and FINISH them off!" Without hesitation, the army charged and the plumbers biggest fight was about to commence.

Panchito and Jose strategy was to backpedal and take out the troops one by one since they were faster backwards than any of them that was running forwards. They had defeated about 40 Beagle Guards when they realized they were getting exhausted and that they wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

Jose then made a growling sound as he realized the plumber would be done for. "There has to be a way to make this end quicker." He thought as he went back to his casting stance, he then stood there longer than when he cast a fireball and realized something. More fireballs were coming out in rapid succession, almost the same fire rate as a semi-automatic pistol, which was quickly depleting the remaining members of the small army that they were fighting.

"Meu amor!" yelled Jose since Panchito was on the opposite side of the road that he was on. "Hold down the fireball casting stance. It takes them out much quicker." Without hesitation, Panchito did what his lover told and realized the results were the same, more and more fireballs kept coming out, quickly slaying out the troops he was facing as well.

"Yeah take that you whelps." Panchito said in a mocking manner. "Who's the scum now?"

The commander of the beagles army looked in horror as he couldn't believe what he was seeing. More and more troops were slain by them. He could hear the blood curdling screams as they were being burned away. He could hear "AAAHHH!" and "SOMEONE HELP US!" as if it were being repeatedly played on a recorded over and over again. "I can't believe this," said the commander in a defeated tone. "I've got to sound the alarm."

The commander retreated to the castle immediately, with them close behind. "You think you two won?" angrily questioned the commander who was still bitter over the defeat of all his troops.

"You've only gotten a taste of the might of our army. Why don't you try handling all of us!" The commander was about to sounded the alarm. But lucky, both Panchito and Jose threw a fireball at him finishing him off just in time. "You…won't…survive" The commander spoke as he then fell to the ground.

The plumber Birds looked at the dead Beagle commander with no hint of remorse. The insignias that he wore on his jacket looked like rankings for how many adversaries he had slain over the years, with the true purpose of intending to expand Zeus's empire. They then look at Zeus’s Castle.

"Ready Jose?" asked Panchito giving a small smile of confidence.

"Ready meu amor," said Jose looking at the archers with a hero's look, unnerved, unbent, and unbroken by the threat that surrounds them. They began run forward to the castle. Where the guards are holding the arrow with fire as they are reading to shoot them.

The beagles guards archers had fired their bows, with the arrows after the brothers as fast as bullets being fired from a gun. The two plumber had to do cartwheels in order to dodge the rain of arrows. Jose was able to dodge them all successfully. However, one of the arrows hit Panchito in the stomach, causing him to fall down on the ground.

"PANCHITO!" cried Jose as he saw his lover fall to the ground, tears coming out of Joses eyes.

"It's a alright Jose." Panchito said softly as pulled out another flower. Soon, he jumped back up to his feet, feeling one hundred percent again, and tossing the arrow that had hit him into the lava before.

"That's impossible," said one of the Beagles archers. "No one could have survived that no matter the willpower." The archers quickly tried to retrieve their next arrow to short. With the delay in reloading, they took their opportunity to take down some of the archers on the roof. With some of the archers down, the Beagle master archer wasted no time commanding the rest of his archers to hurry up and fire. The Beagle archers that remained fired their second arrow, with Panchito and Jose easily dodging them. Concentrating their attacks on the archers, they fired their fireballs at the archers again. More Beagle archers were defeated, some crashing into the lava moat pit below.

With the last of the archers disposed of. Jose took the opportunity to put down the master archer. "Ughhhhh." Croaked the master archer as all he could think of to do was to fall on the bridge below him, shattering the bridge, piece by piece that connected the Darklands to the castle.

"Jose," Panchito said running towards the bridge. "We have to move now." Panchito and Jose had to jump where the bridge was not destroyed in order to gain access to the other side.

They were making their way to the other side. With one more leap the plumbers attempted to make it to the other side. Jose successfully made it because of his tall jump. However Panchito could see he wouldn't be able to make it as he was only able to grab the edge.

"Ay dio mio," thought Panchito hanging on for dear of life. "If I let go, I become a roasted rooster."

Jose then grabbed his lover’s hand and safely pulled him out of danger. "I got ya Panchito." They then embraced in a romantic kiss. "That's twice I thought I lost him," thought Jose trying to wipe the tears from his face.

"Zeus will pay for this." The Bird Plumbers than kicked the doors to Zeus's castle open. They then traversed the lava pits and the thwomps in order to gain access to the main part of the castle. Random castle patrols always found them but they met a grisly end as they were no match for them. They explored the castle trying to find the boy princess. They checked every rooms, kitchen, and even the dungeon, but no avail. They even check the tallest tower but the door of the entrance was lock and it need a key to be open. They then reached the final room, the throne room. Where they were certain think that the boy princess are being held in.

"The final battle mi amor." Panchito said turning the knob to open the door. "The final step towards reaching the sweet end."

Music:

Bowser Lava Lake Keep - Super Mario 3D World