#the intention at least in my experience is to give you space to talk and also make you feel seen and validate you

[embbarnes]

Filthy Fingers.

summary: You check on Bucky after the mission in Madripoor.

warnings: Angst | TFATWS!Bucky | PTSD episode | Sexual trauma | Mentions of SA & SH | Slight SH | Vague descriptions of medical procedures | Swearing

a/n: Back on my bullshit with angsty fics. I wish the series had done something more than brushing this scene off as nothing. I have similar trauma with his experiences, so I sort of put my heart into this. I hope you enjoy, he needs a hug. Unedited. ;; wc: 4.4k

It horrified you, even if you knew about it prior.

After the mission, you searched for Bucky upon returning to the safehouse that Zemo had insisted on using. Bucky had already retreated to the bedroom you both shared, locking himself inside. You knew something was wrong, you knew him better than anyone honestly. He had barely muttered a few words about feeling exhausted before withdrawing from the group. The locked door and his sudden disappearance had you concerned about his well-being, especially considering the shitty mission you had done.

Zemo pushed Bucky to act as the Winter Soldier again, the man took great pride in being his handler and controlling him like a puppet, just as HYDRA had done. He relished in ordering him to attack and heel like a dog, and his cruel comments about using his body, about selling him in exchange for information, made you furious. Sam didn’t quite get the depth of the situation, though he had a good idea, he just didn’t know the extent. He didn’t want to ask.

Bucky’s behavior back at the house seemed unusual, even for someone typically reserved like himself, and you couldn't decide what to do, debating whether to check on him or give him the space he seemed to desperately need.

You also had to fight the urge to break Zemo's jaw.

As deep night fell over the city, a hush descended upon the streets. Sam and Zemo, too, decided to call it a night, bidding their farewells before retiring to their respective rooms. You found yourself alone in the kitchen, the sudden quietness of the house sounded so loud in your ears. Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you made the decision to head towards the bedroom. Your footsteps echoed softly in the hallway as you approached the door.

Your knuckles gently rapped against the wooden surface as you announced your presence. The sound seemed to hang in the air for a moment before you slowly turned the handle and pushed the door open. You stepped into the dimly lit room, your eyes immediately fell on Bucky. You weren’t surprised that he wasn't asleep; sleep often eluded him, and considering the memories that undoubtedly came back to him after the mission, you didn’t blame him.

He sat on the floor beside the bed, his back pressed against the wall and his knees drawn up to his chest. His gaze was fixed intently on the wooden floorboards, tracing the intricate patterns etched into their surface. The silence in the room was heavy and Bucky remained motionless, not even lifting his eyes to acknowledge your entrance.

You closed the door with a gentle click and cautiously made your way towards him, your footsteps barely audible on the floor. As you approached, you lowered yourself to your knees in front of him. "Hey..." You began, your voice barely above a whisper, carefully considering each word as you prepared to navigate this situation.

You took a deep, steadying breath, feeling the tension in your shoulders as you shifted your position, crossing your legs where you had been kneeling. Your eyes never left Bucky's face, searching for any sign of acknowledgment. He remained motionless, his lack of response hanging heavy in the air between you. But his stillness was preferable to a negative reaction. At least he wasn't pushing you away or lashing out in his distress.

"I know this is stupid, and it's probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but..." You paused, weighing your words carefully before continuing, "Do you want to talk about what's going on? About what happened?" The question left your lips in a gentle, non-pressuring tone, leaving the decision entirely up to him. You sat there patiently, ready to listen if he chose to open up, or to simply provide a comforting presence if he preferred silence.

Bucky remained silent initially, his gaze fixed intently on the floor. He drew in a shaky, uneven breath, his eyes noticeably bloodshot and surrounded by dark, heavy circles. It was obvious that he had been struggling with sleep, but you knew that even a small amount of rest would be beneficial compared to none at all, especially dealing with the Flag Smashers and all the bullshit you were both thrown into again.

"Why don't you try to lie down and get some rest? I'll stay right here with you," you suggested gently, your voice filled with concern as you waited patiently for any sort of reaction from him. After a moment of hesitation, you added, "I know you might not feel like sleeping right now, but we have so much shit we have to do tomorrow.” You mumbled, “A few hours, at least.”

Hoping to appeal to his practical nature, you attempted to persuade him to sleep by emphasizing the logical reasons for doing so. However, your efforts seemed to fall on deaf ears as Bucky remained unresponsive. You sighed, your arm stretched up to reach for the blanket that lay haphazardly across the bed, intending to cover him and provide some comfort if he wasn’t going to sleep. Just as your fingers brushed against the soft fabric, Bucky's voice stopped you in your tracks.

"I felt it," he murmured, his words so faint that you had to strain to hear them, the pain and vulnerability in his tone made your heart stutter.

You turned to look at him, your hand still grasping the edge of the blanket, and you settled back down fully on the seat. Your eyes met his, searching for understanding as you softly inquired, "Felt what?"

"Hands," he muttered, his gaze flickered momentarily before meeting yours again. "I felt... hands. On me. They weren't his," Bucky spoke slowly but with a certainty that sent a chill down your spine. He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Not Zemo's hands, but I would have preferred if he didn't touch me at all during the damn interrogation." His words trailed off, hanging heavy in the air between you.

You watched as his brow furrowed deeply, his eyes growing distant as he seemed to retreat into the labyrinth of his thoughts. A maze he still couldn’t get through, he’d always be lost, stumbling upon memories randomly and losing others he had a grip on. The silence stretched on, filled with unspoken memories and the weight of past trauma.

You nodded, remaining silent for a moment as you processed the situation. The anger bubbled within you, fueled by Bucky's own emotions. Zemo's arrogant behavior had struck a nerve, his deliberate attempts to provoke Bucky were infuriating. The man was more than just an asshole in your eyes and words; he was a calculated manipulator, intent on unraveling all the progress Bucky had made.

His creepy obsession had drawn tension between the group. Zemo had persistently tried to breach Bucky's defenses, attempting to draw out the Winter Soldier persona that lay dormant within him. His tactics were cruel and precise, aimed at undoing years of healing and dragging Bucky back into the darkness of his past.

What made it so much worse was Zemo's obvious familiarity with the red book - that cursed tome that held so many of Bucky's painful secrets. You were certain Zemo had pored over every page, absorbing all the horrific details it contained. The book was a comprehensive record of Bucky's torment: control words that could strip away his free will in an instant, precise actions that would render him a puppet, and graphic descriptions of the punishments HYDRA inflicted whenever Bucky showed the slightest hint of disobedience or failure. The thought of Zemo possessing this knowledge, wielding it like a weapon against Bucky, made your blood boil.

"Bucky..." you began, your voice soft and laden with emotion. You paused, searching for the right words to convey the depth of your empathy. "I'm so... sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you. It's just…not fair…that you have to endure all of this. You never asked to be pushed into this shit again." There was clear frustration in your voice with a mix of anger at the circumstances and deep concern for Bucky's well-being.

Your mind drifted to the apartment you shared with Bucky, while he wasn't always at his best there either, it was a vast improvement compared to situations like this. The space was familiar. He was surrounded by sights and sounds he knew, Bucky found a measure of peace inside the walls, mostly because you were there with him. He still struggled with his demons, but within the safety of your home, he could face them without the added pressure of external threats or responsibilities that weren't rightfully his to bear.

But it seemed that no matter what, the outside world was determined to drag him back into conflict.

In your apartment, there were no manipulative villains, no reminders of his painful past, no hidden ulterior motives to hurt him, just the warmth of your presence and the promise of a better future than past. He had you, and you were always there with him, helping him navigate through the storm that always threatened to pull him down again.

"M'used to it," he mumbled weakly, his voice devoid of emotion, carrying the weight of resignation and defeat. The words fell from his lips like heavy stones of the burdens he had borne. "I've had worse than simply being traded away for sexual favors."

"Yeah, but you shouldn't just be used to it," you countered, "You didn't deserve anything they put you through. I don't care what justifications they gave or what they forced you to do. You, Bucky Barnes, are a good person. You, at your core, are pure and untainted. You are the one in control now. Not the soldier they created, not HYDRA with their manipulation, not anyone else. It's all you."

Your eyes locked onto his, your gaze gentle yet unyielding, radiating unwavering belief in him as you tried so desperately to let him see how much faith you had in him. "You've already won over their programming, Bucky. You've reclaimed yourself."

"Then why won't his memories go away?" Bucky croaked out, his voice cracking under the weight of suppressed emotion. "I want nothing more than to...to forget. It's...it's so hard, doll," his voice wavered, the floodgates of emotion threatening to burst open despite him trying his damnedest to keep it all in. "Why can't I forget the bad, and why can't I remember the good?"

Bucky sounded completely worn down, his voice cracking with heavy emotion as he spoke. He couldn't bring himself to raise his head, feeling an overwhelming sense of shame and self-loathing washing over him. The weight of his perceived inadequacy pressed down on him, making him feel incredibly pathetic and foolish.

Your support through numerous similar episodes didn’t shake off the intense feelings of guilt and self-deprecation that consumed him during these moments. It was as if he viewed himself as nothing more than a heavy burden, a complex problem that you were obligated to solve time and time again. Even a glued vase is still cracked and much weaker than an untouched one.

No amount of reassurance or comfort seemed capable of mending his fractured psyche. He’s still broken, no matter what you do to help.

In his mind, he was irreparable, his former self having been long gone. Hell, he's not even whole. The prosthetic arm, the threatening object that he despised with every fiber of his being. Vivid, haunting memories flooded his consciousness as he recalled the moment HYDRA had finally attached the mechanical limb.

The sensation was overwhelmingly unpleasant - the arm felt unnaturally cold against his skin, its heavy weight throwing off his balance and coordination. In his disoriented state, he could feel the lifeless metal appendage hanging limply at his side, dragging him down both physically and mentally. The phantom sensations of drills and saws assaulted his senses, causing him to relive the trauma of the procedure.

Wide awake.

He was desperate to rid himself of the foreign object, so he clawed frantically at the point where metal met flesh, feeling the cold, unyielding surface beneath his fingertips. The memory of being forcibly restrained to prevent him from damaging the prosthetic flashed through his mind, the clinical indifference of his captors etched permanently behind his eyelids. It was clear to him that their sole concern lay with preserving the integrity of the mechanical marvel they had created, with no regard for the man to whom it was attached.

He was nothing more than a vessel for their prized creation - the arm was their priority, not the broken soldier who bore it.

Then their hands came.

Never-ending hands on his body, everywhere.

They always came when he couldn't fight back.

Teasing, pinching, groping, twisting, penetrating.

Make it stop.

Make it stop.

Make it -

Bucky's loud thoughts were abruptly interrupted as you reached out and gently grasped his flesh hand, your voice filled with concern as you spoke, "Bucky, hey, hey, stop... It's alright, you're safe now, it’s just you and me." The urgency in your tone was notable, yet you managed to keep it soft and reassuring.

His brow furrowed deeply, a mix of confusion and realization crossing his features as he slowly turned his gaze from you to his hand, which you now held firmly in your own, having pulled it away from his body. A searing hot sensation radiated from his scar, and with a sinking feeling, he realized what he had been doing.

He had been scratching at the old wound, hard. Clawing, digging, as if trying to remove something from his skin. His arm, the metal - titanium, vibranium - did it matter?

"It's okay, you're fine," you whispered gently, your voice acting like a soothing balm to his frayed nerves. Your hands worked carefully but firmly to keep his own from returning to where he had been clawing. Your thumb gently rubbed circles on his inner wrist in an attempt to keep his mind grounded. You were always scared during these moments, worried for his well-being as the rooted fear threatened to overwhelm you.

But you pushed it down, maintaining a calm and composed demeanor for his sake. Your voice remained steady as you continued to comfort him, "It's okay... you're doing so good, Buck Buck..." The silly name slipped out naturally, reminding him of where he was and who he was with. You always called him Buck Buck instead of just saying Buck once, you knew that endearment made him think of Steve. And he didn’t like doing that with Steve being gone.

"Breathe," you gently instructed him, guiding him to take slow, deep breaths as the memories and vicious flashbacks gradually began to subside. "You're doing great, just like that. Keep focusing on your breaths." You continued to offer words of encouragement and carefully guide him through the breathing exercises, your voice soft yet steady. His eyes, now rimmed with red, glistened with moisture, the strain of the moment evident in his features.

Delicate streams of tears traced paths down his cheeks, tiny rivers carrying his pain and guiding it out of him. The sight tugged at your heart, but you remained a pillar of support and strength for him to lean on.

"Make it stop," he rasped out to you, his voice thick with desperation and fear. "Make it stop," Bucky repeated, his body instinctively moving towards you as if seeking shelter from an invisible storm. "They're on me," he added, his words barely above a whisper, laced with a haunting mixture of panic and pleading.

You immediately wrapped your arms around him the second his body touched yours, enveloping him in a protective embrace. You would always wait for him to make the first move closer, respecting his space and not wanting to inadvertently exacerbate his episodes. Your touch was gentle yet firm, grounding him in the present moment.

"No one is touching you but me, baby," you assured him, your voice steady and filled with warmth. "And I'm not doing any of those awful things. I would never. You're safe here with me, Bucky. We're getting through this, you’re doing so good. Just focus on me and taking those breaths okay?"

Bucky remained pressed against you, his body tense and trembling as he desperately attempted to hide himself inside your smaller body. His hand darted up to his shoulder, fingers curled as if to claw at something unseen. Then his hand quickly moved to his neck, desperately grasping and pulling at an invisible entity.

The frantic movements sent a chill down your spine as you watched him struggle against phantoms of his past, it never ceased to horrify you to see him react to the glimpses he was shown again from HYDRA. You tried not to let your imagination run wild, but the implications were clear and it only made you feel even worse seeing him play it out.

You felt helpless.

All you could really do during these episodes was be there for him.

Holding him close, enveloping him in a gentle embrace that provided a sense of security and reassurance, something so simple yet so luxurious in his life. Your touch was carefully calibrated, always mindful of his boundaries and sensitivities, ensuring that every contact communicated safety and understanding. You learned what he liked, disliked, what made things better and worse. You would soothe him with those very tender caresses, running your fingers through his hair or tracing calming patterns on his back, grounding him in the present moment.

Bucky really liked when you rubbed his back.

You would speak words of encouragement, your phrases were carefully chosen so they’d break through all the rampant thoughts flooding his mind. You reminded him of his resilience and progress. You whispered affirmations of his worth, validate his feelings, and reassure him of your presence and support throughout the episode.

“It’s not real, Bucky. No one is here, no one is touching you. It’s just me. You are safe.”

The efforts you put into comforting him so tenderly often felt mediocre or not enough, you always felt like nothing was ever working or meant a thing. But for Bucky, they were his lifeline, you helped him more than you could possibly fathom. Having endured these episodes alone for so long, the contrast of facing them with your loving support made them significantly easier, more manageable.

You held him for a while, gently cradling his body against your own. Most of the time, he just needed this physical connection to be brought back to reality, to feel grounded and secure again. Your arms enveloped him in a protective embrace, creating a cocoon of warmth and comfort. Sometimes you’d wrap him in a blanket, but you didn’t think Bucky was going to let you move to grab one.

Slowly, deliberately, you moved your hands up and down his back just how he liked. Your fingertips tracing intricate, soothing patterns across the fabric of his shirt, random shapes and swirls, sometimes a letter or number that he’d weakly repeat into your chest. The repetitive motion seemed to have a calming effect on both of you, a silent reassurance that everything would be alright.

As you continued to hold him, your gaze wandered towards the window. Through the thin, gauzy curtains that hung there, you could make out the blurry silhouette of the city in the distance. The lights twinkled like earthbound stars, their glow softened and diffused by the cloudy barrier between you and the outside world. It created an almost dreamlike atmosphere in the room, emphasizing the intimate bubble you two had created. It reminded you of home.

Still whirling from the events that led to this moment, your mind gradually began to quiet. Bucky appeared to be much more relaxed, no longer breathing heavy and shaking as terribly during his attack.

"You okay?" You inquired softly, your voice barely above a whisper. The darkness of the room cast a deep, night blue hue, partially dulling the angry red blotches that you knew still marred Bucky's face from your sight. Bucky’s sweet, rosy nose glistened from his recent emotional turmoil.

He turned his face fully into your chest, burrowing against you as he sniffled. Amusement colored your voice as you gently teased, "Are you wiping your snot on me?" Your tone remained cautiously gentle, not wanting to upset the fragile calm that had settled over him.

Bucky's response came muffled against your chest, a small chuckle that vibrated through you. His voice was barely audible and tinged with a hint of sheepishness. "Maybe..." he admitted as he pulled back and finally looked you in the eye.

You rolled your eyes, casting a concerned glance back at him as you gently used your thumbs to caress his cheeks. The tender gesture was comforting for him. "Are you okay?" You repeated. You wanted—no, needed—to hear the truth directly from him, to gauge his emotional state beyond the façade he often presented.

Bucky instinctively leaned into your touch, finding solace in the warmth of your hands against his skin. His eyes fluttered closed slowly, almost involuntarily, as he drew in a deep, shaky breath. The contrast between your warm, caring touch and his own clammy cheeks made him shiver. He allowed himself to be vulnerable with you, to absorb the comfort you offered.

"Yeah... I'm..." Bucky started, his voice barely above a whisper. He paused, reconsidering his words. "I'm fine." Another pause. "I mean, no, I'm not but... you know. I'm good." The contradiction in his statement was painfully apparent. He cleared his throat, as if trying to dislodge the emotions threatening to spill out verbally, and slowly opened his eyes again.

They met yours, a swirl of conflicting emotions evident in their depths. It was a typical answer from him, a reflexive response born from decades of forced conditioning and denial of feeling. You had expected it, of course, knowing his tendency to downplay his struggles, but that didn't make it any less concerning.

"Well, it's late. Maybe we should try to get some sleep?" Your lips softly kissed his forehead, tenderly giving him some affection. As you pulled back, you looked into his eyes and reassured him, "If you say you're alright, then I believe you. I trust your judgment, and I want you to know that I'm always here for you, whenever you feel ready to talk about it. There's no pressure, no rush. And in the meantime, I'm more than happy to simply be here, to be your comfort, your support... your pillow, if that's what you need."

"You're too good to me, doll... you really shouldn't have to deal with all this," he said softly, his voice tinged with a mixture of gratitude and guilt. He rubbed his nose a little with the back of his hand, a nervous habit he'd developed over the years. "You've got more than enough on your plate already. Your own struggles, your own dreams to chase. You don't need my baggage weighing you down too."

"Hey, now. I won't hear any of that," you insisted, your brows furrowing slightly in concern. Your voice was firm but warm, you understood why he felt the way he did, but you didn’t like it. "I love you, sweetheart. That means I love every part of you - the good, the bad, and everything in between. Taking care of you, making sure you're okay... it's not some burden I'm shouldering. It's not something I'm just 'dealing with' because I have to."

You reached out, gently taking his hand in yours. "I'm here, by your side, because that's exactly where I want to be. Because you deserve love, support, and care. And because giving you those things brings me joy. It's as simple as that."

You squeezed his hand softly, your eyes meeting his with a look of pure, unconditional love. "So please, don't ever think you're too much or that you're burdening me. You're not. You're the person I choose, every single day. And I want to be here for you, through thick and thin."

"I love you too, doll... I don't know what I'd do without you," Bucky replied quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He was still avoiding your gaze, but you didn't mind. Vulnerability was difficult for him and you appreciated his honesty even in his discomfort.

"Let's get comfortable, we need to rest for whatever shit is going on tomorrow," you said softly, your voice filled with care and concern, yet a small bite for this ridiculousness of the mission. You were still annoyed you and Bucky had been dragged into this mess.

You began to shuffle the comforter and blankets on the floor, creating a cozy nest beside the bed. Bucky's brow furrowed as he watched you meticulously prep the area, his eyes following your every move with curiosity and confusion.

"You're not planning on sleeping on the floor with me, are you?" he questioned, his voice tinged with disbelief as he observed you fluffing the pillows to ensure maximum comfort. The idea seemed to both perplex and touch him deeply. You had before, of course, at home. But he always insisted you go back to bed after his nightmares died down and he could fall asleep on his own. He didn't like the idea of you sleeping on the hardwood floors with him at night, especially when you could have the bed all to yourself.

"Of course I am," you replied without hesitation, your voice firm but gentle. "You think I'm gonna just let you sleep by yourself after this? Nope, that's not happening. I'm gonna be right by your side, supporting you through this. That's a promise, Bucky, and I intend to keep it." Your words were filled with determination and unwavering loyalty, leaving no room for doubt about your commitment to him.

He let out a deep, resigned sigh, fully aware that you wouldn't budge from your decision, despite the presence of a perfectly comfortable bed in the room. You'd pick sleeping on the floor with him over the warmth and softness of the bed any day. Bucky inched closer and settled into the makeshift sleeping area you had prepared.

Once situated, he gently pulled you towards him, enveloping you in a tender embrace. No words were exchanged, but he carefully repositioned himself, shuffling down slightly to rest his head against your chest, seeking comfort in your presence.

He wanted to be held tonight, and that was perfectly fine with you.

Thank you for reading. -em🌿

Dividers by @/strangergraphics | Cover images from Pinterest

[ariaste]

I made a post a few days ago about how dire the hits-to-comments ratio is in this fandom and since then I have tried an experiment, got great results, and I am back to explain how we solve this problem as a community.

Several people made disheartened comments on the previous post about how consumer culture has finally made it to fandom (that is, people don't comment on fics as much any more because they're passive consumers of content rather than equal participants in fandom) but... I kind of think that part of this might be our responsibility as fic authors as well, and something that we as can do something about and take agency over. Because yeah, it's correct that commenting has gone down, but you know what I also don't see very much anymore??? People adding a note at the end of the fic saying "Comments give me life!" or "If you liked this fic, please let me know, a nice comment makes me smile all day" or "Comments keep me energized to write more, please let me know if you enjoyed this!" or "I would love to hear what you thought of this! :)"

The culture of a community is not something that people just know instinctively. It's something that has to be taught, just like manners and etiquette in any other context (you don't know the fish fork from the entree fork from the dessert fork until someone shows you, for example). The venn diagram of "the good old days of fandom when lots of people were in the habit of leaving comments" and "the bad old days when we had to humbly ask people to please comment if they liked it at the end of fics" is probably almost a circle. Yes, it's true that we are living in a society where we are being encouraged to be passive consumers of content and that this is probably leaking into fandom spaces. But the way that we start course-correct is to simply communicate clearly in public about what your needs and preferences are. Not in posts like this, because not everyone is going to see it and it will eventually disappear into the ether, and because one big essay isn't going to affect much change. Just... in small spaces where people will see it immediately when it's relevant, like in the end notes of your fic, or in the caption/description under your fanart post. It is not a bad thing to tell people that you like comments. You are not vain or arrogant for wanting engagement and appreciation for something you made out of love and enthusiasm, you are HUMAN. It is not a bad thing to communicate your needs. And oftentimes it is way more effective than you realize until you have actual data to back it up, like the data I'm looking at right now for this fic.

I made one change on the most recent chapter, and that was to put this at the end:

LISTEN TO ME REAL QUICK HERE, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. This fandom has the worst comments-to-hits ratios on fics that I've ever seen. That sucks. Comments are part of a healthy fandom ecosystem, and I can't tell you how many unexpected friends I've made just by telling them I liked their fic. If you don't feel like leaving a comment on this fic, that's okay with me. But you have to PROMISE that you'll leave one on the next three IWTV fics you read, ok? Give our authors some love so they'll keep writing. It'd be a really, really long hiatus until s3 without them.

Since posting this, I can only describe the state of my inbox as, "Oh, THAT'S more like it, there we go, much better!" So... try it out? Tell people that their thoughts and comments are welcome? Remind them that this is a good thing to be doing? It's not going to make everyone comment, but I bet it'll make at least a little bit of a positive difference, and the more people start doing it, the faster we'll inch ourselves back to a thriving and healthy fandom ecology. :)

Rome wasn't built in a day, and culture has to be taught, and the best and happiest kinds of communities grow when the participants are aware and intentional about it.

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Genshin Guys with an S/O Dealing with Sensory Overload (Wriothesley, Diluc, Alhaitham, Neuvillette)

Please note that this is all from my experience. Obviously not everyone is going to experience it like this. Basically this is me shamelessly self-inserting again. I mean, what's new?

I'm going to format this as kind of scenarios in bullet point form, rather than my usual

CW: hurt/comfort, neurodivergent reader

Wriothesly x gn!reader, Diluc x gn!reader, Alhaitham x gn!reader, Neuvillette x gn!reader

Requests and Ask Box is OPEN

Wriothesley

Sensory overload isn't really that uncommon around Wriothesly

And it's not because he's loud or anything, but the Fortress of Meropide isn't a quiet place. I imagine there's always a lot of little sounds even at night. Stuff like dripping pipes, hissing steam, little things

And even if you're not hanging out at Fortress, the city isn't even much quieter

Thankfully he's the perceptive, people-smart type so there's no way in hell sensory overload is getting past him

Tight fists, pinched eyebrows, flinching at loud noises, yeah, he ain't missin' that shit

When he notices you doing that he's quick to finish whatever conversation he's in and bringing you to a quieter location

He's either soundproofed his room or set aside some space in the fortress where you can be alone in the quiet. If you need music to avoid complete and total quiet he has some soft records for you to listen to

Diluc

Diluc has an easier time dealing with the sensory overload

When the day has left you worn out, overloaded, and on edge, wincing at even soft noises, you seek out Diluc

Of course, if you're helping/hanging out at the Angel's Share, chances are he's already at least noticed your reactions to the ambient chaos

If he can't get away from the bar, he hands you the keys to his room and tells you to go rest, that he'll be up when he's free

At the Winery, he's left instructions that even if he's not there, you should be brought to a quiet out of the way room (ehem, his room) and given whatever you need

In either location, as soon as he's free he's coming to make sure you're alright. He usually has something for your headache, knowing that you've probably got one

If you let him, he'll want to hold you, rubbing circles into your shoulder. But if you need space, he'll leave you be once

More than anything he's intent on making any of his spaces safe and comfortable for you

Alhaitham

Alhaitham is an asshole and doesn't people, but when it comes to sensory overload he's 100% sympathetic

I honestly wouldn't be surprised if it's something he deals with on the regular

It's also not something you can hide from him (in fact you might go to him because he's a quiet person who has no issues telling anyone who would bother you to go sit on it)

The first thing he does is kick whoever he's talking to out of the room. Unlike Wrio, he doesn't bother wrapping up the conversation, he just tells them to leave

If you're at his house, Kaveh gets told to find a different room to occupy and Kaveh actually listens (I mean, Kaveh is a nice guy who isn't going to be mean to you just to give his roommate the metaphorical middle finger. Really, neither of them are.)

Once he's gotten rid of any annoyances, he's handing over his headphones

He also helps darken the room your in (modifications Kaveh helped with--I feel like both of them are far more willing to accommodate you than each other, even if it means working together)

After that, he just leaves you alone. If you have a headache, he'll find something to help, but he just goes to read

If you're in a place where he can't just shoo people away and remove any offending sensations, he goes out of his way to comfort you (which took him forever to figure out how to do, but he likes you so it's worth the effort). Even if it's just lending you headphones while he takes you by the hand and leads you through the city

Neuvillette

Honestly, it takes Neuvie a while to get used to a S/O who is prone to Sensory Overload

He's not human and is very much accustomed to the chaos of the Opera Epiclese, Palais Mermonia, and Fontaine City in general

So when Sedene lets you in to Neuvie's office (he's left instructions that unless he's in a conversation you can't be privy to, you're just to be let in) and you're nearly in tears, he's very concerned

Anything he's doing is immediately set to the side so he can figure out what's wrong

When he figures out that your brain just can't process any more input without feeling like it's about to spontaneously combust, he's a little confused, but he focuses more on how to help you

First things first, he has you hydrate while he tells Sedene to not let anyone in unless it's an emergency and finishes up whatever he's doing. If you're not feeling well, he wants to be able to focus his attention on you

Then he takes you somewhere quieter and darker

Eventually, much like Diluc and Wrio, he sets aside a place for you to go. He makes sure you can keep it as dark and quiet as you want, while making sure any sensory things you gravitate to are easily accessed

On days where you decide to take a nap, it's not uncommon to see him wrapped around you, letting his naturally cool temperature soothe you

[willowswiththorns]

I’ve noticed a drought in Jess Mariano x readers. I’m not use to writing fics so I’ll do some head canons for now. As always if you have any suggestions, my commissions are open. Thank you for reading - Willow

Jess Mariano Drabble

First thing that needs to be stated is that Jess Mariano is a complex character, so I am breaking him down by a few seasons at a time.

Season 2 :

Meeting Jess in Stars Hallow will be an interesting and almost intense experience. You’d meet either at Luke’s, in high school, or in the bookstore.

If you meet at Luke’s, you’d catch his eye. He wouldn’t say anything, but he would subtly make his presence known. A good example would be him helping Luke for the first time by bringing over your plate of food/drink before abruptly leaving the diner.

Now if you both meet at the bookstore, you would most definitely get his attention. He’ll sneak past you a few times, trying to peak and see what books you were looking at before finally saying something regarding the book. Once the conversation starts, it’ll last a good while and end with him giving you a book recommendation before heading out. He’ll give you one little last glance back.

If first meet at high school, it’ll be the least amount of interaction. You’d be sitting beside him in the back row of class, zoning out and looking around until your eyes fall on him. Jess isn’t paying attention to the lesson either, he’s more invested in a small book he snuck into class . He’s so zoned into the book, he doesn’t notice you staring into him. It wasn’t until the bell rang that he’d look over for a second and notice you. He’d stare at you, a bit confused before he’d get up to walk away.

Now the second time you bump into him, he’d seem a bit more comfortable with you. You’d be sitting on a bench by the gazebo reading when you feel movement by the space beside you. “Hey “ is all he’d say at first before looking down at your book. “The Virgin Suicide? That sounds interesting” he’d tease softly in his monotone voice. He’d then grab your book and take a look at the back “Jeez, this look depressing-“ he’d hand the book back and ask you your thoughts about it. You both would be talking about the plot about the book and how it was inspired by the author’s teenage babysitter. Needless to say you were both debating literature for a while.

After that quality time at the park, the chances of seeing Jess again is high. In fact, if he sees you around town, rest assured he’ll find his way over to you. He isn’t opened about his past with you, so deep talks are out the window. However, he’s open to chatting about day to day things in his life. Any conversation about your day to day life you’d notice how intently Jess listens in. He shows he listens to you, he even sometimes brings up small details you’ve mentioned briefly in conversation. The most you’ll hear if he talks is about his uncle or how the town’s people don’t like him that much except for maybe two girls, you and Rory.

You and Jess meet up a lot more after his trip to the Independence Inn wedding. However in most of his meet ups he seems a bit withdrawn, and you can’t help but wonder why. If you push for why a bit with Jess, he’ll grumble about how Rory kissed him. Needless to say the relationship gets a bit rocky from here, however if you comfort him well about the situation with Rory, he will come to you more about his feelings. Slowly but surely, you both become closer to each other, confiding to each other about each other’s past experiences. You open up to him about your living situation and lack of plans for the future, how you’re afraid of being alone but know staying with your parents past high school will only make you a financial burden onto them. He eventually opened up about how his dad wasn’t around, how his mom was unreliable and dumped him off to his uncle as soon as she couldn’t handle him anymore.

Season 3 :

The summer between you two is nothing short of amazing. He’s practically glued to your hip, and it’s a bit of gossip for the town of you both potentially dating. However neither you nor Jess has confessed any romantic feelings to each other, so the rumors were just that. You’d be found either at Luke’s with Jess, or Jess would be spotted sneaking up into your room to spend time with you. Lying down on his bed, you listened to Jess reading Howl by Allen Ginsburg out loud. He’s only holding the paperback with one hand while his other was in your hair, slowly letting his fingers scratch gently at your scalp. “ The wage they pay us is too low to live on. Tragedy reduced the numbers. This for the poor shepherds- Y/n?“ he’d only pause once he’d realized your usual commentary was replaced with soft almost quiet snores. With a sign, he’d put the book on his nightstand and got more comfortable so he can join you in your little nap.

Your feelings regarding Jess definitely have grown over the summer together, sadly it wasn’t too long before he was caught making out with the girl from your science class, Shane. He was still around more and still having the habits of cuddling in bed reading with you or looking at records together at a store, it’s just sometimes Shane would invite herself. Shane was always very touchy and flirty with Jess, but she was never really heinous to you. The only time she’d show agitation with you is if she wants alone time with Jess and even then you’d find Jess sneaking into your room later that night to see you.

With your now duo becoming a trio, you had gotten to get to know Shane more and actually got along with her well. She offers you any hair tips and tricks since she works at the Beauty Supply. Other than the awkward times where both Jess and Shane would have awkward acts of PDA in the most random places, being able to hang out with them is a pleasant experience.

Once Rory comes back to town it becomes a bit more tense of an environment. Even though Shane doesn’t notice Jess using her to make Rory jealous, you notice almost right away. Trying to talk to Jess about the situation only makes him mad and shut down completely with you, so much so that you don’t accompany him and Shane to the 24 hour dance. You find out rather quickly that shit hits the fan when you see a crying Shane at your door, explaining everything that went down. After comforting her and walking her home, you decide to stop by Luke’s only to find that Jess isn’t home. Luke mentions that he’d pass the word to Jess that you stopped by. With that you head home.

Once Jess and Rory’s relationship became public, it has become clear that any free time would go to his new girlfriend. Seeing Jess occasionally is bittersweet, the most he’d do when seeing you around town is use the free hand that’s not wrapped around Rory to wave to you. It isn’t until one night he comes to you all frustrated, not telling you what’s happening to make him upset. He doesn’t really open up until a few hours later into the night after you get him in a more comfortable spot. Everything about his life that’s bugging him, Rory and his love life, flunking out of school, bumping into his father for the first time, and the town hating him are all reasons as to why he’s upset. It wasn’t until you slowly tried to hug him that he looked at you. Jess isn’t the type of guy to cry in front of anyone, but just looking him in the eye you can tell he’s exhausted. Grabbing his hand, you slowly dragged him into bed, making sure he took his shoes off before putting the blankets on the both of you. “You don’t need to do this, this was a mistake-“ You smiled and shushed him , curling up next to him. “ Shut up and sleep. Goodnight Jess” As you slowly drifted off to sleep, you hear him whisper a goodnight to you.

When you wake up, the bed is empty. There was no trace of him still being in your room. A little bit of panic hits you as you get up and grab your phone to dial to Luke’s. Luke picks up and when you ask if Jess made it home safely, he hesitant to answer. After a little bit of pushing, Luke tells you that Jess skipped town.

Season 4 :

It’s been a long while since you’ve seen Jess, but the memories of him still stick with you. The most memorable thing is that last night between the two of you. How he let you curled up against him and how his arms slowly wrapped up around your body. Your parents are concerned about how you lock yourself in your room unless you have to go to work. They force you to get out the house for the festivities in town. The ghost of him lingers everywhere you go, it’s a shock when you see a glimpse of Jess at one of the town’s festivals. You see him chase after Rory and you can’t help but feel your heart swell. With slowly steps, you go to Jess’s car as you see him quickly run from Rory to his car to drive away.

Jess almost hits you on his way out of town. His brain has sent him reeling so much over the fact that he confessed to Rory that he almost hits you. Seeing you in front of his car with the look of pure fear and heartbreak in your eyes fills his chest with guilt and dread. He never truly said goodbye to you, but he wasn’t never the best at goodbyes. Not being able to handle any more heartbreak, he turned his car around you so he could speed away.

At this point the thought of Jess sends feelings of loneliness strike through you. He’s a runner from all his responsibilities, not thinking about who he hurts. All the times you both spent together just for him to leave not once but twice without even uttering a goodbye to you.

One morning eating at Luke’s, an older woman comes in asking if Luke was around. Since your mouth was full of fries, you pointed at Luke talking to Lorelai. With in a matter of seconds Luke pulls this mystery woman to the kitchen to bicker and argue before the woman walks off upstairs.

After a few days of ease-dropping, you find out that the mystery woman Luke was arguing about was actually his sister, Jess’s mother. She and her fiance, TJ, were planning their renaissance wedding in the town’s square. After one day of eating at Luke’s and looking at some jewelry that Liz had out for sale, she asks about who you were. Smiling, you explain how you eat here regularly and was actually a friend of Jess. Liz’s smile beamed bright as she’d grab your arm “ You should come to TJ and My’s wedding! I’m sure Jess would love to see you there!” You smile and look down at your shoes before awkwardly answering with a small, “I don’t think he’ll want to see me-“ Shed cut you off “ Nonsense! Please come, me and TJ would love for you to join us!” With a small sign, you agreed to come.

The day of the wedding was delightful to say the least. You asked Mrs Patty if she had any renaissance themed clothes you could wear to the wedding, and she brought out a very pretty gown she had in her costume closet she has for her dancers. The town square was filled with people in costumes, you’d fit in just fine. Finding a place to sit was a bit difficult, but a man who claimed to be TJ’s brother let you sit up a row in front of Luke and Lorelai. “Lorelai you look amazing!” You’d say, spin around to talk to the woman behind you. She’d show a beautiful smile and reply back “thanks hon! You look great too! I think I actually sewed that up for one of Mrs Patty’s recitals last year-“ you let out a little chuckle “ I guess I got busted, yeah I borrowed it from Patty” you both chat a bit more until you see Jess walk down the isle. Your eyes met before you’d force yourself to look away. As Liz and TJ got to the alter, Jess takes a seat next to you. You can feel his gaze dig into the side of your face as you try to keep your eyes on the ceremony. After the wedding, you do your best to keep your distance from Jess. It’s better to just be away from him rather than let him hurt you by leaving unannounced again. When the after party ends, you’re quick to make your way home, reminding yourself to just drop off the dress to Patty tomorrow morning.

As you’re making your way over the bridge you hear Jess call out to you. You try to speed walk more but to no avail, you feel a strong hand grip your wrist and pulled you towards him. “ Jess-“ you’d cry out in shock as he holds you close. Looking up, you can see the anguish in his eyes, his face trying to not be too expressive as he tries to find out what to say. “ y/n….I” you try to pull away but he doesn’t budge. “ I know I left and I’m sorry. I miss you, and I love you…” you shake your head “ you can’t just come back after leaving me twice and god!” You push him away “ you can’t just say you love me!” Tears slowly started to form as you try to walk away again, him tailing close behind. “ I’m different now! I know you couldn’t count on me before but you can now! It’s different I promise. We can leave together, right now! “ You stop your walk and turn to him. “ what’re you talking about? “ he’d grab your hands and get closer to you. “Let’s go. We can leave this town and be together. We don’t need to stay here y/n. Please, you can count on me now I promise.” The both of you stand awkwardly on the bridge now, not sure what to do. You stand there for a minute and ponder your choices. You can either say no and go back to your home or you can say yes and run away with the man you fell in love with years ago.

You look away and let go of his hands. “ Jess I…” you started but Jess sighs “ forget it. It was stupid to ask…” with a turn, he starts to walk away. “Wait! Jess- “ you yelled out again. “ what?” He asked, stopping abruptly and turning back to you. “ I thought about it… with my work and my family I should say no.” The look of rejection plastered on his face. You let out a weak laugh, tears now streaming down your face as you finished.

“But I love you too, and I’d be a fool to let you leave me again. Help me pack?”

Season 6 :

You both have had your ups and downs these past few months. Jess rooms with a few guys he works with up in a Philadelphia bookshop, meanwhile you’ve saved up enough for a cute little apartment from the two jobs you’ve been working at nonstop since you ran away. Jess usually spends the night at the bookstore, but when you’re both off he prefers to stay at your studio apartment.

Tonight you were celebrating the release of Jess’s first book. He has it set up and ready to sell to the public, but for tonight he’s all yours. He’d let out a low chuckle as you’d wrap your arms around his waist, kissing up his neck before hiding your face. “ Congratulations honey~” you’d whisper softly, your breath tickling his neck. His hands slowly play with your hair as he uses his free hand to take a sip of his champagne. “ thank you.” He whispered back, turning his head to you so he could place a little kiss on your head.

Day of the book being released to the public was a very hectic one to say the least. The room that was usually quiet and empty was now packed with people. Jess stayed close to you as he talked to customers, his hand gently on the small of your back. The smile on his face grew as he saw Luke and his niece, April enter the store. You both immediately go to the pair and greet them. Luke giving both you and Jess a strong hug. The conversation was pleasant as you mostly just listened to the three talk amongst themselves. Another familiar face meets your vision and you tense up a little. Jess feels you tense up and follows your stare to see none other than Rory Gilmore. She smiles and says hi to you both, and you let out a small hi before looking at the ground. Everyone resumes talking as you zone out.

After Luke and April wave goodbye and head out, so did many other customers as the store was getting ready to close. You and a few of the guys who also own the place start cleaning up as Rory and Jess talk. You do your best to not listen to their conversation, but curiosity consumed you. Their conversation was pretty tame for the most part, but something in you can sense that Rory misses Jess in some ways. As you see her lean in for a kiss, Jess stops her and gets up. He wishes her a safe trip home and gives her a small hug before walking over to you, his hand grabbing yours as he walked Rory out with you.

When Rory left, you looked up at Jess with worried eyes. You trusted Jess completely and have been through everything with him, but some part of you feared he might still have friends with Rory. It seemed Jess could read that off your expression almost instantly and tried to reassure you. “ You know I love you and only you, right?” He’d ask you, his hand slowly moving to be around your waist. You’d give a small nod, looking away. You hated how easily he could read you now. A small smile would form on his face as he’d move you to face him. “ She’s my friend and that’s it. I promise. I love you y/n. “ he’d tell you before slowly leaning in to kiss your lips.

AYITL :

It’s been years now, the both of you have already tied the knot and been together for nearly a decade now. You both agreed to get married, but not have a big reception like everyone else. In fact, the people who came to watch you and Jess get married was Jess’s family. Now you both live together in a nice apartment, enjoying the married life. Jess is working on his book and overall working on his self improvement more, meanwhile you are working your dream job and helping Jess out with his new book he’s writing.

When Jess mentions heading back to the small town you both met at, you were a bit nervous. You hadn’t seen your family since the night you ran away with Jess. Sometimes you wondered how they were doing, if you leaving ever really hurt them in some way. Dread and guilt hit you like a freight train at the thought. There was only one time you tried to call your parents during the first few months after you ran away, and even then hearing them pick up and ask who was calling scared you so much, you hung up almost instantly. Jess had to hold you that night as you cried. The memory alone made you feel sick, however you know going with Jess was the right approach.

Entering Stars Hallow sent you back to the time you were a young teen. It was like the town has barely changed, and by the look in Jess’s face, he seemed to feel the same. After parking the truck, you both walked up into Luke’s Diner. Luke looked a little older now, but he seemed the same as the many years before. The older man was quick to come and hug you both, welcoming you in for food. You watched the both of them talk for a bit before spotting your mom walking into the diner. Your eyes met hers as she stood there in shock to see you. The fear of her hating you for running away without a goodbye flooded back. “ Mom-“ You were cut short by your mom running over to hug you tightly. Both Jess and Luke seemed a bit tense, watching the scene unfold. “ I’m so sorry.. leaving the way I did. I know you probably don’t forgive me for leaving. I’m sorry” Tears started to well up as you apologized. “ I’m sorry for leaving you and Dad, I just didn’t know how to tell you-“ Your mom shushes you gently and doesn’t let go. “ You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay, Jess reached out a few years ago in your behalf and kept us updated. We’re just happy you’re happy honey.”

After that nice encounter, it felt like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You let Jess go to the gazette to visit Rory as you talked to your mother some more. The idea of Jess and Rory use to plague your mind of worry, however Jess has done nothing but be loyal to you so the fear overtime vanished. You showed your mother the wedding ring you have and smiled. For the rest of the day, you spent time with your family, you did have a decade of time to catch up on with them.

Later that night you came to Luke’s upper apartment to sleep. Luke moved into the Gilmore house a few years ago, so he loans out the upper apartment for you and Jess to stay In whenever you both were in town. Yawning, you kicked off your shoes and stripped off your clothes so you could change into your pajamas. Jess came out of the bathroom, stretching as he watched you change. “ How did I get so lucky to have you?” He’d ask, walking over to you and kissing your neck. The feeling of his lips on your skin makes you shutter slightly, a blush creeping onto your cheeks. “ Hmmm I don’t know babe~” you’d tease playfully and in red he’d let out a fake gasp of shock to play along. The kisses up your neck and jawline didn’t halt however, he was just getting started. “ God I love you so much “ he’d whisper in your ear before turning you to face him. You both locked eyes as pressed yourself against him. His eyes were filled with love and adoration for you. He is the love of your life, and you are the love of his life. With a loving smile, you kiss him on the lips. He tried to deepen the kiss, however you push him away for only a second. You only had one thing to tell him before you’d continue .

“ I love you too Jess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you guys enjoyed this. I’m running on a few hours of sleep, so if the pacing or grammar is a bit off I’m so sorry. I tried to keep true to the timeline and add more details to it. I also wanted to add more information towards y’all’s character, but if you don’t like the family part I totally get it. Please let me know what y’all think in the comments. My commissions are open so let me know 🥰 thank you guys again for reading and supporting my writing. Have a wonderful day everyone! - Willow

[thequietkid-moonie]

Little sibling of the gods is curious about humans

[ HEADCANONS ]

[ Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Records of Ragnarok ]

A cute silly prompt that has been wandering around my head for a while now, hope you enjoy it!!

and forgive me if I did some mistaken while writing it, I was excited and messy

Is well known that gods are above humans, the humans are their creations and they most worship the gods, asking from favor and forgiveness is how the humans are related with the gods

As a god can be natural to be curious about the humans since, even if they don't like it they are important part of the god's life, even so get to know about the humans is quite dificult since most gods don't really think high of them, some even think that they are just a waste

For being one of the youngest gods it would be undestandable your curiosity, still that doesn't make it less irritable for some of the gods, however since you are the little sibling of some of the most respected gods on the Valhalla they don't really dare to tell you to go away whenever you go around asking the other gods about the humans, most of them just try to respectful tell you that they don't have anything to say about humans and that your inmense curiousity about them is just a waste of time, other gods, more bold ones, express how much they think the humans are nothing but a waste of space, they are brutal and idiotic, there are just a few gods that actually has a few good things to say about the humans (or at least something that isn't complete despise)

The better answers you'll probably able to find it actually close to your family, Hermes find quite amusing your curiosity about the humans and at some point will aproach to you and offer you all the information he can provide, he will tell all he knows about the humans until your heart is content, and he actually gives you the information in a neutral way, whenever he give you his opinion about the topic he makes clear that is his opinion and not exactly a fact

Other one that will be more willing to share his information is Buddha, even if he is consider a god and lives in the Vallhala he will always think more on the humans, so if you ask him he is also willing to tell you all he can about the human life from first hand experience, he doesn't mind sharing his knowledge, specially if is with someone so eager to learn; although, in the process he end up teaching you a few things about his philosophy, it was bring to the conversation so naturally that even him didn't notice (but he will just laugh at it)

But, honestly, those two are just motivate by mischievous intentions, they wanted to help you of course, you were so eager to learn about humans that it was almost adorable, but just as they thought your curiosity was amusing they also thought about how amusing could be the reaction of your older brothers when they know that their little baby and pride wants to know about the humans, it was an oportunity to mess with the gods that they couldn't miss

Other god that were willing to share a more hearthed stories about humans is Heracles, he was once human and become stronger and even a god for them, so he is completely willing to talk to you about them, but he talks with so much love and pride that it will probably just end up boosting your own curiosity for the humans

It doesn't matter if you try to hide your curiosity about humans of your older brothers, soon or later they will know, it can take them just a moment or even years, but at the end they will find out, it only takes one of them to find out for the other two to get to know too, and they aren't going to be happy about it. You'll have to deal with their sermons once they know but each one react and tells you diferent things, Zeus tries to talk to you in a pacific way and tries to convince you that humans aren't worthy your time, there are a lot of other things you can do or that gods can provite you with, greater things than the humans, still he can be quite intimidating if you insist that you want to see and learn about the humans; Poseidon is direct and even is mad at you, he tells you right away that humans aren't worthy of your time, you are a god and his sibling! you must only get related with those that have the same level or are worthy of you, he even express that he is quite disappointed by this but will let it pass this time, just concentrate on something that is actually useful; compared to the others, Hades doesn't really think that bad about the humans, he does hold some respect for them and doesn't find that bad your curiosity, as your older brother he wants to support you but he also has to look after you, so he suggest that you don't put all your time and energy on the humans and do other things, learn things that can be beneficial for you, he is thinking on your future and well-being

Despite your brother's opinion you still are free to do as you please, so if you want you are free to continue learning about the humans, even if they aren't happy they won't be able to do much, even if Zeus and Poseidon will want to force you to change they won't really want to hurt you or anything (and with Hades support there is nothing much they can do about it)

In your position it would be incredibly risky and reckless to give another step and go to actually visit the human world, but if you still want to do it Buddha and Heracles will be completely willing to help you reach the human world (Hermes will risk too much if he accept to teach you how to go, but he will indirectly guide you towards who actually can help you with it)

[ysmtttty]

Red Ferrari

Chapter 9

Summary: Azris AU, where Azriel is a mechanic and has his own service station. One day, Eris comes there because something is wrong with his car

AO3 link Chapter 8 Chapter 10

a/n: since my semester started chapters will be on Sundays

"Idiot," Azriel grumbled, not even knowing why he grabbed his hand again and didn't loosen his grip. Eris didn’t resist.

“Why did you come then?” Eris asked.

Azriel's grip on Eris's hand tightened slightly, his eyes darting away as if avoiding the question's weight. He didn’t have a good answer, not one that made sense, at least. His chest felt tight, a mix of frustration, anger, and something else he didn’t want to name.

“Because I’m an idiot too.”

They sat in silence for a while, Eris still holding the ice to his cheek, and Azriel couldn't bring himself to let go of his hand.

“You irritate me,” Azriel finally said, breaking the silence that had been grating on him. Eris only snorted. “I really want to be angry at you right now, but instead, you make me worry like hell. You scared me with that call, and even more when I saw you when I came in. And now I’m sitting here, not knowing whether to tell you to go to hell or to bring you more ice because you look awful. I just wish you didn't make it so damn hard.”

“I guess I have a talent for making things difficult,” Eris said, wincing as he moved to adjust the ice. “Thanks for coming. Even if this ends with you telling me to go to hell. But before that, you promised me tea.”

Azriel rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress a small laugh. He took the ice from Eris's hand, which had already started melting, and went to the kitchen. This time, Eris followed him.

After rummaging through the cabinets for a bit—Azriel knew from experience that asking where things were was useless—he found a box of expensive, unopened tea. Meanwhile, Eris turned on the electric kettle.

“You don’t even drink tea,” Azriel noted.

“I can give you the cliché answer that I love everything you do if it makes you feel better,” Eris quipped back.

“You’re not making it any easier for me not to kill you, you know that?”

“The knife block is to your right.”

“I hate you,” Azriel sighed, rolling his eyes, grabbing two mugs instead of a knife, and throwing some green tea leaves into them, hoping it would help calm both his and Eris's nerves. Despite all the sarcasm and bitterness, Eris sat at the bar with a leg that wouldn’t stop shaking.

When the kettle boiled, and Azriel joined him with two cups of tea, Eris stared into his cup for a long time, clearly lost in thought.

“Drink it before it gets cold,” Azriel grumbled, pushing the cup closer.

“So caring,” Eris teased, blowing on his tea before sipping.

They sat in silence, with Eris continuing to stare off into space, and it grated on Azriel’s nerves. Eris's whole state made him incredibly anxious. He honestly didn’t know what to do when someone was in such distress because, in Azriel’s experience, the people close to him rarely ended up beaten and then refused to talk about what happened. Azriel found himself realizing he now considered this idiot one of his close people. And then realized maybe he didn’t mind.

“Stupid question, but are you going to the police?” Azriel asked, tired of the tension in the room. Eris only looked up at him with a half-empty gaze, as if he hadn’t heard a word and had been completely elsewhere for the last few minutes. Azriel repeated his question.

“No,” Eris shook his head. “I can’t handle another court case with Mor's family.”

Azriel froze. He looked at him intently, hoping Eris would say he was joking. But from the serious expression on his face, Azriel realized there was no joke.

“Mor's father,” Eris continued, pointing to the bruise on his face. “The marriage was for convenience. Her father got a big chunk of profit and a lot of other perks from the union. Today, he proved he doesn't want to lose them.”

He hadn’t known. He hadn’t known that an arranged marriage could bring so many problems. Azriel understood that divorce was not an easy task in such cases—hell, having Mor in the equation made it even more complicated. But physical violence? The idea of Mor’s father being behind this, of Eris being physically hurt because of some twisted power play, made Azriel's blood boil.

Eris noticed the change in Azriel’s expression and let out a small, bitter laugh. “Don't give me that look. I'm not some helpless victim. I knew what I was getting into, and I’ve handled worse.”

“Handling it doesn’t mean you should have to,” Azriel replied, his voice tight with anger he was trying to keep in check. “Or are you going to let everyone just come up and use you as a punching bag just because you've been through worse?”

“It’s not that simple,” Eris muttered, not knowing why someone else's concern irritated him so much.

“Then enlighten me,” Azriel frowned. And he was still frustrated that he couldn’t properly be angry looking at Eris. And damn it, did he have to be beaten so that now it was impossible to look at him without feeling something?

After a short pause, Eris explained. He explained the details of the divorce, the deals between the families, and the profits they were making, though the descriptions were a bit vague and unclear—apparently, Eris himself didn’t fully understand it. Then it all led to an explanation that their families were very influential and Mor’s father could afford such attacks every day, and no one would say a word to him. Except for Eris's father, though Eris remained silent about him for now, not ready to talk about that. Besides, he wasn’t sure Beron would do anything to protect him, and if he did, everything had a full chance of turning into a dirtier and bloodier mess, in which he didn’t want to participate at all.

Azriel listened to him, while Eris noticed how his jaw clenched in anger at certain moments, how his fists tightened and relaxed, how his gaze kept falling on his bruises and split lip. Eris had never needed pity but seeing that someone cared was unexpectedly pleasant. Maybe it was selfish, but something in his chest responded with an unusual feeling at the realization that Azriel cared, at his readiness to stand up for him even despite their argument.

They sat in the kitchen for a long time, Azriel pouring him a second cup of tea, grumbling that he definitely needed to calm his nerves.

“What about Mor?” Azriel asked. “Doesn't she want to get out of the divorce quickly?”

Eris shrugged, his features darkening for a split second at the mention of his wife’s name. “She did. At least that was the plan. And then suddenly, she needed more money than I was willing to give, so we’re both sinking in this mess, spending money on lawyers and exhausting each other.”

Azriel gripped his cup tighter. Eris just cast a tired glance at his white-knuckled fingers.

“We’re stuck in a very unpleasant situation,” Eris continued, for some reason feeling like he had to explain more. Because Azriel deserved to know more, and Eris felt that he owed him the truth. No matter how ugly it was. “The last year, Mor and I were in an ‘open marriage,’ we agreed that since we were stuck, we might as well give each other the chance to find happiness with other people. Now she has a video of me with one of those people.”

Eris winced at Azriel’s expression, full of disbelief and anger at this information.

“How bad is it?” Azriel asked hoarsely.

“Detailed,” Eris answered dryly, taking the last sip of his now cold tea. “So detailed that it threatens to ruin my career if Mor decides to send it to my clients and competitors. It would destroy the reputation on which my career is built, and which is almost impossible to restore in the legal field after such things.”

Azriel stared at him, processing what he’d just heard. If after the information about Mor’s father and his impunity, he thought he couldn’t get angrier, this had finally pushed him over the edge, sending his levels of anger skyrocketing. Damn, and he thought Mor had treated him badly. He got off easy.

Exhaling sharply, Azriel swore, crudely and uncontrollably. Eris almost found amusement in listening to him.

“Fuck,” Azriel concluded his rant.

“Couldn't have said it better myself,” Eris smirked.

“You're not thinking of giving her the money after this, are you?” Azriel asked, frowning. “I may be just a mechanic and not play these kinds of games, but even I know that giving in to blackmailers is a dead end.”

“I’m giving away half the money anyway,” Eris sighed. “We didn’t have any concept of a prenuptial agreement, so everything earned in the marriage still has to be split equally. But Mor is asking for more, which bothers me, and I don’t know if I want to respond to her actions or just tell her to fuck off and give her the money. Whatever, I’ll earn more.”

Azriel only frowned even more, looking at him as if he were an idiot. Eris was really tired of that look because his younger brother had looked at him the same way when he told him he planned to just give her the money and watch her walk off into the sunset.

"That's exactly what she’s after."

"I know," Eris sighed, looking at him with tired eyes. "She might even come back in a year or two when the money runs out, to extort more."

"And you’ll let that happen?"

"No idea."

Azriel held back his opinion for now, not knowing if it was the right time to tell Eris to send Mor to hell with her ultimatums. Mor was capable of anything, but this had hit a new low that Azriel didn’t even know existed.

"You’ve made it hard for me to yell at you for not telling me about the marriage," Azriel groaned, burying his face in his hands. He closed his eyes, trying to gather his thoughts while hearing Eris quietly chuckling at him. The bastard had the nerve not to hide his amusement at Azriel's distress. Great.

"I reserve that right for you indefinitely," Eris told him. "But I would prefer if you did it sooner so we could move on to the part where I apologize."

Azriel quietly laughed at his words, but then the smile faded from his face, and he began. "Fine. I’m fucking pissed at you for not telling me about the marriage earlier. And not just that, you weren’t planning to tell me, thinking the divorce would be over before anything serious started between us."

Eris was about to say something, but Azriel just put his hand forward, gesturing for him not to interrupt. He closed his mouth and listened in silence.

"And with you, it’s hard to tell if there will be anything serious because it always feels like we take one step forward and then two steps back. Every fucking time, and it’s very, very exhausting, Eris," Azriel continued. "I was living peacefully, fixing cars, and then you came along, barging in with your stupid dates, and it seemed like everything was fine. But I’m fed up with this feeling of uncertainty, and now, knowing about your divorce with my ex, which also involves my best friend, I have no idea what to expect anymore. Honestly, I have no fucking clue what else you’re hiding. Another two secret wives, three mistresses, illegitimate children, a house in the Caribbean, or that your name isn’t even Eris. It sounds absurd, but I’m ready for anything at this point."

"A villa in Portofino," Eris simply replied.

"Excuse me?"

"I don’t have a house in the Caribbean, but I do have a villa in Portofino, if that matters," he explained. "The name’s real, no other relationships or children. But if you have any questions, ask. I’ll answer honestly."

"Why are you so insufferable?" Azriel sighed.

"Because I’m a fucked-up person, Azriel. And sometimes I make fucked-up decisions, like hiding my marriage," Eris looked up at him. "And most of the time, I am not apologetic about my actions. Hell, if I felt guilty for every life I ruined, I wouldn’t have become a successful lawyer. But this time, I do feel guilty. I can’t promise that something like this won’t happen again because it’s a habit, and I’m not saying this as an excuse, just explaining. But I can promise to try. At least with you.”

At least for you.

"Have we reached the apologies yet?"

"We’ve reached the apologies," Eris nodded. "I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the divorce earlier. I really didn’t want to involve you in all of this, considering the circumstances, but even so, I should have at least mentioned it in general terms. I’m sorry, Azriel."

They looked at each other for a long time, Azriel trying to untangle the confusing knot of thoughts and emotions in his head that refused to unravel and let him objectively assess the situation. Because the nasty little voice in his head kept whispering that Eris lied once, he’d lie again, and that he didn’t need this kind of drama in his life. However, another part of his brain begged him to forgive and move on because, whether he admitted it or not, he had gotten used to Eris's presence in his life, and he didn’t want to end things, and he also missed him terribly.

"I now understand why you’re such a good lawyer," Azriel said in a grumbling manner, sighing heavily.

"It means...?"

"It means come here, idiot," Azriel pulled him by the collar, drawing him into a kiss.

Eris froze, clearly thrown off by the sudden mood shift, but then kissed back, ignoring the slight pain from his split lip, which Azriel traced with his tongue, soothing the pain.

"That doesn’t mean you’re completely forgiven, got it?" Azriel clarified.

"Understood," Eris smiled at him anyway, knowing it was all bullshit.

"I’m serious. You’re on thin ice, pull this shit again, and I’ll kill you. No half-truths or omissions."

Eris nodded in agreement, understanding that despite how difficult it would be for him, he would try.

"Since we’re on the subject, I’d prefer it if you yelled at me right away instead of stewing over it for weeks," Eris added as Azriel trailed kisses along his cheekbone, not hiding his pent-up desire.

"You’ve got your shitty habits, I’ve got mine," Azriel grumbled against his skin. "But since you’re planning to generously improve, I’ll try too."

"I’d drink to that generosity, but judging by your voice messages, you had enough yesterday," Eris smirked. Azriel groaned quietly.

"You fucking listened?" he asked with a strange hope that at least not all of it.

"To your great misfortune, yes. And some promises were definitely worth noting."

"To your great misfortune, I don’t remember anything from that message, so you’ll have to remind me what exactly I promised," Azriel whispered against his lips, and Eris only smirked and reached for his belt. "Or show me, fine."

Azriel kissed him again, capturing his lower lip between his own, his hands wandering over Eris's body, mindful of the bruises. Eris felt his caution, so he stopped and pulled away.

"I’m fine," he said, frowning.

Azriel raised an eyebrow, silently questioning him, poking his shoulder and watching as Eris tried not to wince. "Uh huh," Azriel said sarcastically.

"I appreciate your concern, but my desire to get more bruises from you outweighs the pain from the ones I already have," Eris looked at him confidently, but seeing that Azriel wasn’t backing down from his position, he relented. "I’ll say if it’s too much."

This time, Eris kissed him, not letting him reply or argue. His own hands wandered with much more confidence, groping, touching, so much that Azriel was left speechless and for a moment his brain forgot what they were even arguing about a second ago.

They somehow made it to the bedroom, Eris pushed him onto the sheets, and Azriel tore off his t-shirt, later doing the same with Eris's shirt, the next to hit the floor were their pants. Eris straddled his hips, pressing against him firmly, creating the much-needed friction that still wasn’t enough.

Azriel gripped his hips tightly, pulling him even closer. "You’re still the one who owes me an apology, and I don’t mean verbal," he muttered as Eris kissed his neck, leaving a trail of fire in the wake of his touches, "but I’d prefer to get it when you don’t look like a human punching bag."

"And what do you suggest?" Eris whispered, his hands running over Azriel’s chest, pinching his nipple, making Azriel hiss quietly as that bastard smirked, pleased with his reaction.

“I suggest you stop being such a tease and let me fulfill my very drunk and very vague promise,” Azriel intercepted his hands, then changed their positions and settled between his legs.

Eris didn't have time to protest when Azriel pulled off his underwear and wrapped his lips around the tip of his cock, drawing a quiet moan from him. Azriel didn't rush, running his tongue along the length, teasing with lazy movements and a slow pace that he knew drove Eris crazy. To some extent, it could be considered a petty revenge. But in truth, Azriel just reveled in his reactions, the sounds Eris made, the slightest changes in his expression, and the way his hips jerked towards his mouth.

Pinning his hips to the bed, Azriel only clicked his tongue.

“If you fucking don't—” Eris growled at him, only for his words to turn into a moan when Azriel took him fully, until his cock hit the back of Azriel’s throat.

Eris reached for his hair, gripping the silky dark locks, while Azriel hollowed his cheeks, looked up at him so lewdly it drove him mad, and started moving his head up and down with even filthier wet sounds.

He smiled and quietly moaned when Eris's grip on his hair tightened, the sound vibrating on his skin. With one hand holding his hips, Azriel reached for his own hard cock with the other, clearly in need of attention, jerking himself off in rhythm with his sucking pace.

A few thrusts, a few movements of his tongue, and Eris came in his mouth. Azriel swallowed, even running his tongue over his lips as he pulled back. Eris reached out to him, touching his cock and giving him a few strokes before Azriel also came.

“I’m on my way to getting full forgiveness,” Eris smiled at him while they both caught their breath.

“Not even close,” Azriel replied, though they both knew that wasn't true.

“I hope to change your mind with a shower together,” Eris informed him. “Just wait until I find the strength to get up.” Azriel chuckled at him.

After the shower, Eris collapsed onto the sheets, almost immediately passing out. Azriel didn’t think twice before lying down next to him, deciding it was too late to go home. And honestly, he really didn’t want to.

Earlier, he had taken a closer look at the bruises on Eris's body, but exhaustion slightly overshadowed the anger that Azriel still felt looking at them. Marks on his arms, a few bruises on his torso—all of it infuriated him beyond measure. He knew that Eris was unlikely to take such a reaction well, thinking it was pity and would try to dismiss it, acting like it was some minor issue that happened to him every day.

Maybe it did. Azriel had already realized that this kind of crap wasn’t new for Eris, that it had happened before, and that it might happen again in the future. But he wanted to prevent it. He wanted to beat and run over those responsible for these wounds and bruises a few more times. Maybe he would. He was a mechanic, who knows what could happen to a car's brakes, right?

Azriel smirked at the crazy turn his thoughts had taken while he lay there, watching the already sleeping Eris, running his fingers along his arm, and then, for some reason, kissing him between the shoulder blades. Being with Eris was full of contradictions. In one moment, Azriel wanted to strangle him, to be rougher, and in the next, he wanted to show a tender side, one that was entirely unfamiliar to himself.

In short, the red-haired bastard drove him crazy, and Azriel didn’t know yet whether that was for better or worse. He only knew that, for now, he was staying. Despite all the mess.

tag list: @sizzlingstarlightsky @isnotwhatyourethinking @molcat07 @chairofchaos @lilah-asteria

[jonathan-samuel-smith]

TW bipolar discussion and nonconsensual kissing, mental health discussion

So about Saturn Girl kissing Jon without his ability to consent to it: I get that she isn't actively deciding to mind control the people around her, but she does have a choice in the matter. Her family wanted her to stay home until she could control her mind control powers, but she didn't want to and left. To me that's like if I noticed I was manic (not hypomanic) and didn't go to the mental hospital... Like I can't control my bipolar but I have the choice to stay away from others when it would harm them. That's not even a good comparison though because my judgement isn't clear enough to consistently do that when I'm manic, whereas she is at baseline and is able to think rationally. I wouldn't blame someone with bipolar because they have no choice, but I'm just saying the obvious choice would be to keep yourself away from others even if it's not fun for you. I feel like I can blame her, because she has a choice.

I do sympathize with her, but I really think she's hurting others disproportionately to the distress she feels stuck at home, and that's not okay.

If you look back on the events with the knowledge that she can't turn off her mind control, you see how manipulative she is, especially to Jon, and she does high-control group tactics: love bombing, isolation, guilt tripping, not letting him have rest alone where he would have time to realize he didn't want this.

I don't like the JonDami narrative that Jon was an asshole for leaving Damian in the past or was running away from his problems, because in my view he was dragged into a cult and I can't blame him for that, especially because he was extremely vulnerable at the time. I also don't believe Jon would have left in the first place if he knew up front that he couldn't bring Damian to at least visit him.

Jon had been in a state of fight or flight for around 6 years (not just talking about the volcano because there was also his verbally abusive grandpa and their deadly adventures and being trapped in space, and then him struggling to survive on the streets and trying to find a way home after he escaped) and the first time he really got a chance to cool down was when he was talking with Damian. He really needs a long break, therapy, and medication because what he went through can't be treated with therapy alone as the stress has chemical effects in the brain that need to be adjusted.

The writers don't care about how Jon should be extremely hypervigilant and defensive and anxious. I guess that's just not brave enough for a superhero, nevermind that leaving the house and getting treatment for these things, learning to trust again, and letting people help you is so much braver than punching guys when you have superpowers. It's natural to fight when your fight or flight is activated in a protective manner, but doing the logical thing when every signal in your body is telling you not to is really damn hard. The only coward is DC for giving Jon trauma and not actually writing a traumatized character.

That all being said, Damian clearly doesn't see how Jon is being manipulated, probably because his head is full of self hatred & doubting & repressed desires to ask Jon to stay, and thinks he needs to go against his abandonment trauma by swinging the pendulum too far in the opposite direction in his speech. With his c-ptsd and abandonment issues I can see him becoming bitter towards Jon for going to the future.

That could make for a really complex fanfiction, don't you think? The conflict coming from their unique life experiences and traumas, and them learning to understand each other like they're always doing. This misunderstanding of intentions born not out of something dumb like hearing the wrong thing or being unclear in language, but from their different points of view.

My jondami au where Jon leaves the legion early is calling me lmao "Isaac we have more problems for you to fix~"

That being said I have no exclusivity to these ideas for writing.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

have you ever broken up with someone? i need to do it for mental health reasons (we're still quite in love) and it's obvs really hard. do you or the maggots have any ideas?

Hey anon maggot! I have, yeah, a few times, and the last time was kind of similar to your situation. It was a really healthy relationship and I loved them but I was in an awful space mentally and I had to break up with them. I'll put it in after the uh advice so you can read it if you want.

So my advice:

1. Be very clear about the breakup, and about your intentions for the future. Make sure both of you understand that you are ending it, don't sugarcoat that part. Don't call it taking time or a break or anything other than breaking up. You're ending the relationship.

2. Explain the reason for you breaking up, but make sure the fact that you still have feelings for each other doesn't make it seem like there's any leeway about the breakup. You are breaking up. If less detail is better, then do that.

3. I know opinions are divided on this, but in my past relationships I've always found that you should cut off contact for a good while, rather than "stay friends". It's not helpful while you're getting better and they're getting over you, you both need space. Maybe you can be friends later when the relationship is properly in the past. But that's later.

4. Be prepared for it to fucking suck. It hurts, a lot. And you'll know it's hurting the other person too. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's the wrong choice. It's just that you cared about each other and the relationship was valuable. That's a good thing. Let yourself be upset without trying to fix the situation. Don't go back and forth and make it messier for both you and them. You'll miss them. That's normal. The breakup was still needed.

5. Take care of yourself. Talk to people you love. Know that you'll be okay, eventually. The pain heals and becomes bittersweet. You become grateful for the good parts. You begin to see the situation clearer. But all of that shit takes time, and give yourself that time.

6. You'll have to become okay with letting go of the other person and accepting that maybe they will blame you or be hurt or will never want to talk to you again. It sucks and their feelings are entirely valid, but you still have to choose what's better for you and for both of you in the long run.

Take care of your mental health, anon maggot. Been there. Survive it. Sending all the love and healing. I hope it goes okay, as okay as it can be anyway, and take whatever is helpful from this advice and discard the rest. <3

The breakup story under the cut:

So like I said, i was in a healthy relationship with someone whom I loved and who had been my best friend before that. But i was very ill mentally and physically, and i had to end it.

However, I fudged it up, kind of, because it was a couple of months before a major exam for me, and I said we needed to break up until then at least. They understood because I hadn't been in contact with people for a month at that point, and that was upsetting them too. So we broke up, except, well...

I didn't end up getting better, if anything i got worse. And I think they were waiting for me and were... excited for after the exam. I found this out through a mutual friend and I had to tell the friend to tell them that we weren't really going to get back together.

Long story short, we still wish each for our birthday via a message forwarded by the mutual friend. But they don't want any further contact with me and it took them a very long time to feel okay. I still feel guilty for how I ended it, even if it was best I could with the mental space I was in then.

So yeah, from that experience and my past breakups, I learned a lot and hence the advice. Take care <3

[adelaidedrubman]

some scattered thoughts on plagiarism and sharing creative space in good faith before i turn my phone off and walk into the swamp 

so, this is a post i have avoided making for well over a year now. because i have spent well over a year minimizing, excusing, and trying to convince myself that i’m crazy and just imagining things. even more so, convincing myself that it’s worthless to talk about, because even if i talked about it, no one would particularly care, and i would only cause myself more heartbreak by officially confirming that. 

but the past few days in fandom have dredged up a lot of things for me and made me reevaluate. i’ve found immense reassurance from seeing how ready and willing everyone is to band together to keep the community safe from those entering with the intent to copy the work of others rather than creating their own. i won’t lie, seeing that unity and mobilization on my dash was at times bittersweet when it was interspersed by reblogs from someone who’d plagiarized me. 

but i also took the opportunity to move past the hurt and remember this is a community — seeing others have the courage to come forward and talk about the plagiarism they’d experienced inspired me to open up to more and more friends in private about my own experiences, and i cannot describe to you how relieving it has been to find myself validated and supported. sincerely, to everyone who has lent me an ear over the past few days, i appreciate it more than you know. i’ve been brought to tears several times, and feel like i now have the strength to talk about this. 

this is also a post i have backspaced on several time, because. well. frankly it’s difficult to even allude to the vague category of most obvious thing that was stolen from me without this amounting to a de facto callout post, which isn’t my intention so much as getting out my feelings and hopefully opening a dialogue about the lasting harm plagiarism does. 

so. i’ll just start by saying one of the most hurtful things about plagiarism is that it destroys the implicit trust that everyone is entering a creative space in good faith. most of us don’t come into fandom and oc communities preemptively guarded and ready to go looking for instances of plagiarism, and are far more likely to perceive things as incidental overlap than malicious theft even under circumstances where the latter is more likely. personally, it didn’t even initially set off alarm bells for me when i saw an oc with jestiny’s exact design plus color contacts and terf bangs also sharing prominent symbolism utilized in her story. 

my first instinct was to be welcoming and supportive in the spirit of celebrating that creative minds can find inspiration from the same sources. even as the symbolism began less and less to in any way resemble the context of said source material and more and more to resemble the version of the story i told, increasingly picking up elements that weren’t in the original but were sure as hell in my fic. in fact, i went as far as to offer resources on the source material in hopes that it would motivate the person to dig into it and find a way to make it their own, still hoping this was a case of overstepping taking inspiration at worst. 

it was after pushing my goodwill that far and giving an out only to then see another of my most well-known scenes copied down to my exact wording and pacing that i got the nerve to block. 

and i was naïve enough to think that would actually end it — hurt as i was by what had already happened, at least it was over. 

nope. 

even after blocking, i went on to see the scraps of another of my most well known scenes lazily repackaged. (i can forgive ripping off jestiny, but i draw the line at sullying poor daniel’s memory. he’s been through enough.) in fact, it continued incessantly enough that i have had multiple people independently send me screenshots of the same passage from within the past month commenting on how blatant it is. 

it should go without saying what a violation this was of my boundaries and my creative labor. every single aspect of jestiny’s story is deeply personal to me, both because of the extensive effort i have put into researching and crafting it and because of the pieces of my own experiences and emotions its founded in. 

but more than that, what sticks with me is the violation of the implicit trust and vulnerability that comes with choosing to share a creative work. i stretched my benefit of the doubt to its limits at the expense of my own mental health, i assumed good faith and tried to make space, and when i could no longer endure i quietly isolated myself rather than risk sowing discord or simply being a bummer in a fun time space. it made me no longer feel safe sharing works that were especially personal. the pain of the experience was one of the primary reason i put wildfire on indefinite publishing hiatus despite still loving the story and greatly enjoying continuing to write it in private. 

still, after the past few days and my own slow process of opening up, i am beginning to develop a renewed hope that we can act as a community and look out for each other. i still genuinely want to think we can by and large share creative space in good faith, and that people coming forward will leave us more ready to identify and deal with bad actors when they do pop up. 

and i have hope that i can heal and find ways to be open and vulnerable with my work again. that might mean soon thinking critically about how to curate my fandom experience in a way that will minimize having plagiarism thrown in my face, but for now that’s still a problem for future liz. 

for today, i just want to thank anyone who has read this far (y’all know i’m bad at shutting up). i’m still not ready to be super detailed in public, but if anyone wants to know more about the 5 ws and 1 h, you’re welcome to dm me — although i might be slow to respond right now, because i wasn’t being hyperbolic with the title. i am going to be on a camping trip in the swamp the next few days, and might not be online much. 

i am excited to have the time to unplug and reflect, and look forward to coming back recharged. until then, please know i am so thankful for all of you, from the bottom of my heart. 

[not-goldy]

Thank you for your answer, I get it on some level. I’ve listened to their music for a while now but am new to this whole shipping thing, and it’s a wild ride for sure. Out of interest, which songs do people think are about JM? Apart from their actual song Friends? Why does part of me think that if this is the case maybe Tae needs new inspiration for his work or something. Someone of his own to love. He didn’t write he album though did he? It’s a crazy world out there I guess I didn’t release that a member would fuel the shipping wars, so wow if he does that.

It depends on how delusional one is. Could be a few or all of them if you're deranged 🤷🏾

I like to think of myself as moderately delusional so I stick to the basics.

You can check out his song about writing a letter to the moon which was inspired by a time he was alone in the park with Jimin late into the night

From 4'Oclock.

Other than the setting and moon references, he actually ever did write a letter to Jimin which he cried while reading it to him. He poured out his heart in that letter. Here, read it and cry

And theres one song he complained he wrote with the intention of singing it withJimin but a producer thought putting Jimin on it would be gay due to the lyrics.

Don't want to talk about the others cos it may sound controversial but do have a listen for yourself. And be mindful of the Jimin "symbolisms" or at least I like to call them that.

Whenever he talks about the moon in his songs we make the connection to Jimin- its obvious now due to JMs moon tattoos but there was a time people thought that was reaching.

The moonchild is Jimin. And it's not far fetched cos V is the same person who shared fan art of Jimin with the moon tats that he's currently spotting and all. Meaning he understands the connection between JM and the moon.

This has nothing to do with his songs but he used to complain a lot about a certain member gatekeeping Jimin to himself and not allowing him and Jimin to hang out. So for me when this theme recurrs in his music I feel he's alluding to Jimin cos why not dudes a menace🤣

Let's give Tae some credit. Don't blindly buy into the hateful rhetorics people spew about him.

He exposed the company for dragging their feet before allowing JM to debut. Exposed them for their homophobia towards Jimin. If anyone moves funny with Jimin trust him to expose them one way or the other. I'll actually bet my life on this.

Perhaps you should look into their friendship. V can be chaotic but he's loved Jimin so hard too and when he says he loves Jimin the most I don't think he's lying .

Jimin has a special place in his heart. Perhaps because he says Jimin was the one who showed up and out for him when his granny passed. I think he's going to be eternally grateful to JM for that.

Don't hate on Tae or Judge him based on his quirks. He's not one to fake his feelings so sometimes when he's annoyed with Jimin you can pick up on that energy. It doesn't mean he's evil. He just have bad days too.

Unfortunately the Fandom isn't as forgiving and would tear him apart for the least funny feelings towards Jimin.

They are friends.they are allowed to fight and make up. We shouldn't hold that over their heads when they "fight" argue or have a misunderstanding. Leave them room and space within their friendship to be ghetto with eachother. What matters is the bond they share the growth they experience as friends and how pure they try to be with eachother.

They are a work in progress

[angelsanarchy]

Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 9

Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator

TW: Fingerfucking, cunnilingus

Y/n swept the shop completely zoned out in her own thoughts. All she could think about was how she probably absolutely fucked things up with Oystein because of some stupid fear of failure. It's not like she had a ton of experience in the relationship department but she had always had a good connection with him. She knew how different they were but that didn't mean they were bad for each other.

Cleaning was always her go to whenever she was stuck in her head. It also meant she was completely oblivious to the fact that Oystein had been standing outside of the closed shop watching her. He knew she was busy and he also knew she was alone because he had watched everyone else leave allowing her to do her nightly cleaning. He swears he never felt like he could watch someone do mundane tasks before he met her.

When she heard the knock on the glass door, she startled.

"We're closed.." Y/n shouted out before turning to see Oystein standing there. She hadn't expected to hear from him so soon. She thought the humiliation would last at least a few days but here he was, just eight hours later standing in the rain.

"Oystein? Are you okay?" Y/n unlocked the door concerned but he stepped up into her space making her step into the shop backwards.

"I've been thinking about you since you left." His spoke like he was trying to keep her calm.

"Look I'm sorry if I-" Oystein held his hand up to silence her. She clutched the broom in one hand and he put his hand over top of her own.

"I was thinking about how I can prove to you that I don't want any stupid groupies and only one solution came to mind." Oystein removed the broom for her hand and turned to lock the door behind himself. Y/n had never feared Oystein but in this moment, she was a little nervous as to what his motives might be. She let him put his hands on her hips, walking her backwards until her back hit the counter.

"W-what's your big plan exactly?" She asked swallowing the lump in her throat. Oystein leaned down, running his hands down her hips until he gripped her ass so roughly that he could lift her on top of the counter.

"Oystein!" She squeaked not expecting the sudden act of strength. He leaned closer to her mouth, grazing her lips but not committing to a kiss just yet.

"What I've learned from watching Hellhammer run through all the girls that come to our shows and our parties is that he just wants to get off and move on." Oystein tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and she watched him talk intently feeling a growing warmth in her chest.

"I don't want to do that with you. That's the last thing on my mind." Oystein ran his fingertips down her neck, gripping it carefully before slowly adding pressure to pull her forward towards him.

"All I can think about is making you cum. I want to taste you on my tongue. I want to feel you around my fingers and watch your face falling apart. I want-"

Y/n couldn't wait. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled his body between her knees to kiss him. Her hands slid across his wet, leather jacket quickly as she pulled him desperately against her, trying to shove her tongue into his mouth as if it would somehow attach him to her body. She moaned into his mouth feeling his hand run under her skirt, along her inner thighs. He pulled out of the kiss to stare into her eyes and she nodded at him, giving him silent permission. He wasted no time thrusting two fingers into her deeply. Y/n threw her head back, gripping onto his shoulders painfully.

"You're so wet for me. How could you possibly be this wet for me and I've barely touched you." Oystein's breath was on her neck as he pumped his fingers at a slow pace.

"Oystein, please." Y/n groaned. She hadn't been touched like this in so long, it was like her nerves were on fire. His thumb rubbed circles into her clit with impressive pressure that made her legs jump.

"How are you going to come into work every day knowing that I made made you cum on the same counter you serve people at?" Oystein asked biting the skin of her shoulder.

"Don't stop! Oystein please don't stop." She could feel his fingers speeding up and he leaned back to watch her chest heaving. He wished he could have her completely naked but he knew where they were made that impossible.

"I'm not gonna stop baby. I want to hear you moan my name. I want to hear you begging for me." Oystein could tell she was close but this isn't how he wanted to finish this. He started to slow his thrust and her eyes shot open.

"W-what-" Oystein held her gaze as she got to his knees in front of her, pulling her ass to the edge of the counter and pushing her panties to the side so he could lap at her pussy. She muffled her screams with her hands feeling like she was being electrocuted with his tongue. His nose probed her clit, tongue trying to get so deep inside of her that she felt fully exposed sitting atop the counter, hands gripping her thighs so tightly she knew they would bruise.

"Fuck Oystein! I'm going to cum." She cried letting her fingers grip his hair roughly in her hands. He kept sucking and licking until she was cumming on his face, whole body shaking and tears running down her cheeks. He didn't waste a single drop of her, carefully lapping any reminisce on her thigh and using the fingers he was fingering her with to collect her mess from his chin to suck into his mouth.

When he was finished cleaning her up, he leaned his forehead into hers, feeling her breath against his face as she tried to catch her breath.

"I don't want stupid fucking groupies. I want you, Y/n. I only want you." He wiped the tears from her cheek and she smiled, resting her hands against his while they touched her face.

"Yeah...I think I gathered that." She was out of breath but still managed to send a joke that made him smirk. He hadn't asked her for anything. Even after finger fucking her and eating her out, he made no mention of returning the favor. He simply helped her off the counter when her legs worked well enough for her to stand.

Y/n couldn't help but believe that the connection her and Oystein had was complicated but so worth it. Maybe things wouldn't be as crazy as she thought. Maybe dancing with a devil wouldn't be as terrifying as it seemed.

[thewritingginger]

;) Alphabet - Ran Haitani pt. 2

Wow! It’s been a HOT minute since I’ve posted  I’ve been in a rut lately but I’m trying to work myself out of it :)

In the mean time here's some spicy Ran HCs for your Tuesday 

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers  Letters: C, E, G, O, U Warnings: 18+, GN! Reader, Talks of sex

Enjoy ~

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Ran’s cum is usually pretty thin & not a lot comes out

If he’s on a business trip/ too busy to get off w/ you or by himself he might produce more

He enjoys cumming inside his partner, if they want him to, but he really likes painting his partner with his seed

Spraying it onto their belly or onto their used hole feels more territorial to him than filling them up

Isn’t afraid to eat his cum out of you oop

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Ran has a fair amount to experience

Most of them are one night stands or short term flings

He does have long spells w/o action cuz work gets in the way and it can become more of a hassle than fun to get laid when he is trying to work—also not to mention boi would probably prefer taking a nap over the risk of having a meh lay with a one night stand

But all that said, he knows enough to get you off and listens well enough to become a pro at working your body

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

As we know Ran is a little chill boy

Of course he, if in a serious relationship/ is down bad, he will slow things down and make love to his partner

But if something happened like knocking heads or stumbling he just laughs it off and gets back to business

He never wants his partner to feel bad when you should both be feeling good

Also he can have a playful streak

Especially during foreplay/ the initiation of sex

If you’re ticklish, he might use that against you

He might say some cheesy/ silly shit

“So cute I could just eat you up, Baby,” he says as he is kissing and playfully biting down your torso and sides, or your inner thighs towards the space inbetween

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves lazy licking on his partner

He could honestly spend a while between your legs

If he catches you lying on the couch he might strip off your pants and get to work between your legs for the fun of it

He is part of the does it for HIS pleasure gang

Of course tho he does love seeing your lips wrapped around him

He’ll sink far into whatever seat he is in—the couch, his office chair, ect— with his hand gently caressing your hair as he watches you work yourself up and down his shaft with that lazy smile of his

He also praises you, both while giving or receiving 😉

“You taste so good, Baby”

“Stop? Is my tongue too much for your sensitive body? I’m sorry, Sweetheart but I have no intentions of stopping till you come on my tongue.”

“Just like that. Good Girl/Boy.”

“You are so good for me, knowing just what I like, huh.”

Honestly on nights he wants to get off but is too tired, he loves opting for oral/ using his hands

But he loves it as a “main course” any time, any day

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is a teasing mother fucker

It’s not always in a hyper dominate way during sex

He finds it much more fun during foreplay—he’ll do it out in public if the mood strikes him

“Careful, Baby, keep looking at me like that you’ll let everyone you’re dripping in your panties for me.”

If he put a toy in you before y’all left the house he likes you turn it on when you least expect it

Once when you were out to dinner with him and the guys he had you squirming in your chair, trying hard to hide it. He just put his hand on your thigh and leaned into your ear,

“You all right, Sweetheart? Do you need to go to the bathroom?” 

Then he just laughed when you gave him a glare 

Hope you liked that!

If you want to see more, let me know 

Feedback & Interaction is always appreciated :)

💛 ~

~ Masterlist ~

[rosesradio]

I know this sounds kinda weird but I think Lukeabeth would feature some age play? Like a ddlg kinda thing

...

...

yk what fuck it i'll have what anon's having

let me do one of those half-yap half-drabble things for You 🫵

so the...i guess pseudo-incest of lukabeth coinciding with all of the other layers of their relationship is really fucking facinating to me. you have luke feeling almost fatherly towards annabeth in the early demigod diaries days, then she says he's like an older brother to her in tlo...but ofc you also have her crush on him in tlt, and Whatever his death speech was that's gonna be debated about until the end of time.

so how do luke & annabeth feel about each other?

& what if it's all of the above?

so in this scenario you've given me anon, i kinda crafted together an AU in a similar space as my power of neptune lukercy college AU. i'm imagining a percabeth breakup pre-college, though they both go to New Rome Uni, & luke is the resident advisor for percy's dorm (per his sentence of service to the gods for sparing his life, Or Whatever). luke & annabeth meet again, and although it's been years and everything is different, they both have this desperation for things to go back to the way they once were. they find themselves in a bubble of unspoken peace, growing closer than ever before, especially given the aftermath of the war & annabeth's distance from percy. she finds herself in need of an old friend turned...whatever they are.

& luke has good intentions. probably. he probably wants to, at least.

i think at a certain point in something-or-other semester, annabeth & luke have done...some things together. it doesn't even feel like a natural progression to their relationship—it feels like just another piece of the puzzle, just another equal element to all the late-night study dates and in-depth talks. they haven't done all the things—& probably at luke's insistence, too. he wants to be sure that she's making good choices, & although he knows he's Not a good choice, he can't help but give in to how much he wants her sometimes.

luke would probably be very...apologetic in bed, & take his time, using his experience with only annabeth in mind. iykyk 😵‍💫

& annabeth knows that percy already knows about their relationship. he wants to drown luke in the little tiber, & it's only at annabeth's insistence & an urge for normality that he doesn't.

thalia would probably hunt luke for sport if she knew. so she doesn't.

needless worldbuilding aside, i can picure a day like any other in which annabeth is getting ready to go to lecture. luke is lounging on her bed, catlike, reading a book but not really reading so much as watching annabeth change clothes. she puts on a skirt and one of piper's crop tops, just because she likes to feel cute sometimes. she can feel luke's eyes on her before she meets his gaze in the mirror.

annabeth asks if he has a problem. luke tells her he doesn't want her going out like that.

of course, she laughs. that had to be a bit. she could wear whatever she wanted, anyone's opinions be damned. she tells him as much, and that she ought to cut his tongue out if that was how he was going to speak to her.

luke tells her she likes his tongue too much to do that. annabeth's face flushes, momentarily at a loss for words. touché, castellan.

still, they continue this little disingenuous game of cat & mouse. at one point, annabeth asks something along the lines of "who do you think you are, my dad?"

and this is one dangerous poke at the bubble. if this goes wrong, it could shatter this beautiful space of denial that they've created.

luke just gets to his feet, walking towards annabeth. she backs away, further and further until her back hits the wall. she's not scared. she's curious, and excited. and maybe a little nervous, the edges of her emotion tinted with nausea.

luke stands about a half a foot taller than her. he used to be even taller. annabeth wonders if she misses it, or if she wants to get heels to meet him.

he leans towards her, kissing along her jawline, up to her cheek and down to her lips. he kisses her like he's still dying sometimes, and she's the last of his holy ambrosia.

"i just wanna take care of you, babygirl," luke murmurs. he kisses down her neck, hands roaming to explore annabeth's exposed skin as if he were being allowed to for the first time. "let me take care of you, like 'm s'posed to..."

annabeth's stomach drops. she swallows. luke was supposed to take care of her. he failed. and annabeth had picked up the pieces, taken care of herself for the last seven years. in what world should she give luke another chance?

but she does. goddamnit, she does.

she nods. luke drops to his knees like he's praying for his fucking life, more urgently than he'd ever had for a real diety.

annabeth runs her fingers through luke's hair as he puts his mouth to work. his hair is just as soft as she remembers from when she put bows in it as a kid. it's just as soft as she remembers from when she was nursing him with ambrosia after the war.

she doesn't know when or why exactly the word "daddy" slips from her lips, though it does. it's never something they talked about doing. they probably should have had a conversation about that. but fuck it, right? she never called her own dad that, so it was fair game.

luke's efforts falter, the moment possibly the longest in time before he doubles his efforts. he moans against her, the vibrations spurring her to pull his hair harder, to murmer "daddy" between just about every plead and moan of her own.

and then annabeth's hips jolt, and she's coming so intensely that her stomach hurts. she pants, grasping luke's hair like a lifeline, grinding down on his lips and tongue until she's milked every last drop of her high.

annabeth recollects her thoughts and breath, wishing she could stay in post-orgasm bliss forever. she wishes she didn't have to address what just happened.

luke stands, licking his lips, the sight leaving annabeth a little weak in the knees.

"don't you need to be getting to class?" luke asks hoarsely.

thank the gods. he's giving her an out, some more time before they could no longer hold this dynamic up, & everything would come crashing down.

annabeth nods. "you don't mind that i'm wearing this?" she asks, unsure of why she cares.

luke shrugs. "i just like riling you up, babygirl," he grins, grabbing her ass from under her skirt and over her underwear. "wear what you want. i'm the only one who gets to touch you, anyways."

annabeth's attendance at lecture is essentially useless. she can only think of luke & what it all meant—the word "babygirl" on his lips, and the word "daddy" on her own.

[roleplayhonestybox]

I just wandered across this page and I definitely have to get something off my chest. One of the greatest issues I have with writing these days is racial bias. I have a considerably large selection of characters, and people will look that over only to express interest in white men. All of my least popular characters are people of color, and it's become so discouraging. Two of my favorite characters I have genuinely never been able to use before, and it feels like that's all just because of the way they look. I will also note that both of those characters are attractive men of color, so the preferences start to feel like this unconscious racial bias. One character (I'll call him V) has been around for years, I have had him turned down numerous times because people "didn't vibe with him" or some other vague reason. Then, those same people thirst over my white characters with the same/similar careers. I feel so certain now that if I changed V's model to make him white, people would be lining up to write against him. I understand having preferences, but it's just really discouraging when people only take an interest in the same five white guys. Also, if someone's preferences essentially exclude all people of color that starts to feel off to me. Regardless, writing as a whole has started to feel pretty superficial. In my experience many people seem more interested in being attracted to the faceclaims than the content of the characters themselves, and that bums me out. I get that we all write for different reasons and I don't intend to bad mouth people for their tastes, but over the years this has really started to bother me personally. I appreciate this page for giving people the space to vent and talk about their pet peeves, so thank you to the mods for creating and running this page. My intentions weren't to be bitter, spread hate, or accuse others of bigotry but rather to express a genuine issue I've been facing for years. People can represent whatever groups they feel most comfortable with in their writing and there is nothing wrong with that, but I personally don't want to exclusively write white men. Thank you, and I hope everyone has a good rest of their day.

.

[absoluteindulgence]

A/N: HEEEEY YOU GUYSSSSSS, I POPPED THESE HEADCANONS OUT OF NOWHWEREEEE. I KNOW ITS BEEN A WHILE, DONT COME FOR ME JUST READ AND TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT LOL🤎✨️✨️✨️ I will say tho I wrote this from my phone because like the goofy I am, I spilled water on my laptop and gotta get it replaced🤭 So any edits I need to make will be in the near future🤎 Also Ironically I'm posting this 4:44PM☺️

Toji with Yoga!Girlfriend

SFW

He's learned what it means to be calm. You would meditate around him and at first he would always want to break your focus but afterward he'd sit with you and just breathe. He found it extremely calming when a rush of anger would wash over him.

He's in awe at the many Yoga Poses you can do and how focused you are when executing them. He's worked hard to bulk up his body but he can't say that he's as balanced as you. Which is why he has so much respect for you too.

Let's be real, you're over here talking about the healing power of crystals and he does not believe in none of that shit. It takes for him to have an out-of-the-blue migraine to do your "mumbo jumbo shit" on him and he might only admit that for a second, it worked. But he believes just laying in your lap is what did the trick.

You smell so fucking nice. You're the type to use essential oils more than perfume and it shows. Any scent that you're using that day is stuck to you and becomes your natural scent. One that's so pleasant it keeps Toji in your space more than usual.

You're highly intentional with your actions and he can sense it. You have this layer of love, honesty, and devotion that keeps him on his toes. It's hard to make him breathless but you're such a wonderful woman that he looks to you for comfort in more than just the sexual sense. You've proven to be a great pillar in his life and he's smitten by you based on how you're so open to loving him and in return, he provides the love and protection you desire. In his way, he'll cheerily thank a star for aligning you "or some shit" together. You give him a level of stability he's never seen or had in a very long time.

NSFW

Now this man has spun the block a couple of times but damn would he feel like there are way too many new experiences with you.

This man did not know what Kegels were until you showed him on one particular rainy day. This was closer to the beginning of your relationship and you would say, "Hey Babe, let's try something new" You're ideas usually come out more good than bad so he doesn't deny you. The first time you tighten yourself around him, the face he makes is voided of all smugness, it's a culmination of shock and humor. "Fuck, Treasure... How are you doing that????" His brows furrow too tight as he comprehends real "Pussy Power". Let's just say thunderstorms weren't the only thing to erupt.

The massages you give this man always lead him to visit heaven. You touch him in ways that he thought were just simple and had no other meaning than its initial reaction. Every graze from your fingertips stimulates his mind further than what he's expected to feel. His stiffy gets all twitchy, and the usual tense and ready-to-defend muscles relax. He instantly exhales when touched by you. Your hands are so skilled, you gently graze over all the sensitive spots he has and treat them with delicate consideration heightening his experience. The way your fingers caress the tip of his manhood trailing down the shaft, with a gentle kneading of his swollen, ready-to-burst balls is enough to get the most intense guttural groans ever known out of him.

You create such sensual atmospheres for him that he's taken aback. Incense or aroma diffusers, slow jams playing at a low volume in the back, you bought these twinkling lights for a dreamy effect, and after a while they leave him charmed to say the least.

This goes without saying but he loves to watch you stretch. It's a reminder of the limits he can set on your body since you prep every day. He's eager to see which way you'll bend for him just to get to that right spot. Arch perfectly sloped, HAMMERTIME. Sucking him off while doing a bridge, how many kids you want? Or something as simple as tucking your legs behind your head? You're in trouble for the rest of the night!

The worst of it all is you introducing him to Kamasutra... You told him you want to do every position. No matter how weird or uncomfortable it might be and man, you wore this man out one night in particular. It's the first time during sex that he's ever tapped out and you paid for it in the next sex session lol

[tgrailwar-zero]

As you severed your ties to the Blue Faction, something felt different. AVENGER felt different.

Distant.

Further away.

CONDUCTOR continued to fragment and glitch, his presence becoming less and less tangible before vanishing entirely. His form, his voice-- gone, nothing more than malignant data festering inside AVENGER.

As the silence settled, another voice filled in the space, sardonic and coy.

"You know, I don't exactly have much experience with Western warfare, but I have to give my props to Greece and their Trojan Horse."

With light, casual steps, CASTER emerged. Her expression was cool and aloof, the hem of her kimono drifting against the grass as AVENGER was stuck. Paralyzed. Helpless, in every sense.

"My allies wondered of the effectiveness of my plan. To suppress the memories and abilities of an enemy Servant, as well as carefully install an A.I virus based on the fragmented memories that the enemy had left. They thought it easier to just kill Avenger. In most cases, I would agree, but… well, this is a much deeper than just Avenger."

She let out a long, dramatic sigh.

"Blame you for the a problem that I set in the first place. 'Botching the summoning', then offering a solution. Ah, but where are my manners. Congratulations, Avenger, let me fix that little 'memory issue'. Though it doesn't really matter. You're nobody special, just a murderer. A failure who only has a legacy for killing talent."

AVENGER collapsed to his knees as CASTER snapped her fingers. Unceremoniously, memories flooded back as he gripped his head, frothing at the mouth as information continued to pour in, the floodgates opened without any care.

CASTER continued to gloat.

"Aw, he's in pain. And it's all your fault. What horrid Masters you all are."

With a tonedeaf chime, several statuses made themselves known.

[ AVENGER's True Name Unlocked! AVENGER's HP set to 1! AVENGER's MP set to 1! AVENGER's contract has been severed from his Masters! ]

She continued talking past AVENGER's pained screams, as if they were nothing but ambiance.

"My main concern was MoonCancer. I mean, her presence is a bit of an anomaly to begin with, but she's a talented hacker. I would have lost everything if she poked around at my virus. Well, not everything, but this little plan would have been foiled. Luckily, you all didn't even need my help running away from her."

With an airy chuckle, she swatted away the attempt like one would swat away flies.

"How cute."

She lilted, with a smirk.

"Unfortunately, he's mine now. You severed your ties to him and his team, remember? All that's left is the data I left behind."

"And my favorite part? I didn't have to make you do anything. Feed the right words, and you scrambled away from the closest ones you had to allies. I thought that severing your Blue Faction ties would at least cause you to hesitate, and yet you burst full speed ahead! Attacking your own allies, ignoring their pleas for you to stop, after they kept giving you the benefit of the doubt! And you still wanted to feed on their kindness, like parasites. Ah, they should be giving me a medal, honestly. I'm doing them a favor."

She dropped her veneer of elegance for a moment, bursting out in a loud, boisterous cackle, before stepping close and placing a hand on AVENGER's shuddering chest.

"But now, the contract has been severed. You're no longer Masters. No longer part of this War. No stakes. No purpose. No Servant to serve as your contact to this world. Why destroy you, when I can simply nudge you into oblivion? You'll live as long as this world does, just without any way to experience it."

She did it slowly, with intent. Slowly picking away at each thread connecting you and AVENGER.

Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. …And again.

As he was pushed further, and further from you.

The last thing you heard, as she gently cupped AVENGER's head in her hands- the pain now having driven him to completely fall unconscious- and her villainous monologue finally inching to a close was her sneering voice.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of him while you're gone. Rider too."

This was, without a doubt, a…

.

..

...

....

.....

......Ugh. Dammit.

'A NARRATING VOICE': "In other words, you beefed it. Screwed up. Shat the bed. Back to start, do not pass go. Et cetera. …Yeesh."