#the indecision paralysis is real
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kevin-day-is-bi · 10 months ago
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astramachina · 10 months ago
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👍🏽i'm finding it more than a little difficult right now to engage in any sort of creative endeavor and honestly hate that for me
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the-cosmic-cauldron · 4 months ago
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𝒴ℴ𝓊𝓇 ℳℴℴ𝓃 𝒮𝒾𝑔𝓃 & 𝒲𝒽𝒶𝓉 ℐ𝓈 ℋ𝒶𝓅𝓅ℯ𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 ℐ𝓃 𝒯𝒽ℯ ℳℴ𝓃𝓉𝒽 ℴ𝒻 𝒥𝒶𝓃𝓊𝒶𝓇𝓎
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𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For you, Aries Moon, stepping into the new year means prioritizing a healthier mindset, especially regarding your relationships—whether it’s with a partner, someone you’re talking to, or your spouse. The truth is, you and this person may be incompatible right now. You’re eager to move forward with a fresh perspective, adopting healthier habits and walking a new path in 2025. However, your partner is stuck. They’re holding onto the past—dwelling on old conflicts, unresolved issues, and past wrongdoings within the relationship. They haven’t forgiven or confronted these feelings, which has built up resentment.
This person isn’t meeting you halfway. While you’re striving for open communication and letting go of unhealthy patterns, they’re unwilling to cooperate. They don’t want to listen or hold space for your emotions, leaving you feeling unheard. Their behavior may start to wear you down. Constantly throwing the past in your face could make you feel guilty, regretful, or even like the “bad guy” in the relationship.
As much as you crave a stable, loving union, it’s clear that your partner is not on the same page. This may leave you feeling defeated, but instead of sitting in that defeat, you’ll begin looking for ways to care for yourself independently. By focusing on your own happiness, you’ll start building healthier habits that uplift your overall well-being and spirit.
In January, this shift will lead to a boost in your confidence. You’ll begin to see yourself in a new light, breaking away from codependency and enmeshment with your partner. As you gain independence, you’ll envision a path where you can carry on and thrive—even in a difficult situation. This personal growth will help you lift your head, regain your strength, and move forward with renewed determination.
𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
In January, you may find yourself feeling confused and stuck. You’re in a place where you want to take action and move forward, but fear is holding you back. Fear becomes a dominant emotion for you this month, keeping you confined to what’s familiar and preventing you from stepping into the unknown. This fear creates resistance, stopping you from opening yourself up to new experiences and fully committing to or completing tasks.
You might find yourself self-sabotaging without even realizing it. Fear guides your actions, making you feel unmotivated, lazy, and low on energy. As a result, you might avoid putting in the effort needed to achieve success or make progress. You may not feel like working, focusing, or locking into your goals. Instead, you might experience a sense of paralysis, withdrawing from people and avoiding communication. Talking and brainstorming may feel draining, and you might struggle with indecision, unsure of the direction you want to take.
This feeling of being “in limbo” can leave you hoping for something external to pull you out of this rut. However, it feels as though no real break or relief is coming, which further drains your energy and makes self-care even more challenging. You have plenty of ideas, but you’re struggling to execute them. This lack of progress leads to frustration and self-doubt, causing you to be hard on yourself.
Feelings of inadequacy may creep in, making it difficult to finalize or stick to plans. You might feel scattered, grasping at anything you can to move forward but lacking the energy to maintain balance in your work and personal life. In January, your focus should be on acknowledging your fear without letting it control you. By taking small, intentional steps, you can slowly regain momentum and work toward restoring balance and confidence in your life.
𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
In January, it seems like you’re going to start off in a good place with your partner—whether it’s your spouse, someone you’re in a relationship with, or someone you’re talking to. You’ll feel like things are stable, peaceful, and even moving closer emotionally. However, you may experience a breakup or separation this month. This could manifest as physical distance (where you and your partner are no longer living together), emotional distance (where communication breaks down), or even an official breakup or divorce.
This event is going to hit you deeply. It will shatter your sense of stability and throw your emotional state into turmoil. You might feel overwhelmed, drained, and ungrounded, struggling to process the intensity of your emotions. To cope, you’re likely to isolate yourself, feeling too confused and shocked to face the situation head-on. This isolation will be a result of feeling defeated, insecure, and questioning your own worth.
The breakup may not only affect you emotionally but also disrupt your physical stability. Perhaps this person provided some form of support—whether financial, emotional, or practical—and their absence leaves you feeling unsteady. You might find yourself struggling to adjust to this new reality, questioning how you’ll handle things on your own. Financial difficulties, potential housing issues, or simply feeling lost could add to your stress.
This heartbreak will send you into a period of deep reflection. You may realize that you had become so focused on the relationship—on your partner, your shared goals, or the future you envisioned together—that you lost sight of yourself. During this challenging time, however, you’ll begin to rebuild your focus on your own life.
This experience will push you to prioritize yourself: your goals, your career, and your stability. You might channel your energy into working more, paying off debts, or developing a plan to regain control of your life. Writing down your goals and creating a step-by-step plan could become a powerful tool for grounding yourself and regaining your sense of independence.
Over time, this period of hardship will lead to growth and transformation. You’ll work towards a version of yourself that is stronger, more self-reliant, and better prepared for the future. By focusing on building your own stability and identity, you’ll come out of this experience with a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. While this situation will be painful, it has the potential to spark a major glow-up, helping you shift your focus and rebuild your life on your terms.
𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For Cancer Moons, the month of January brings a lot of scattered energy. It’s not going to be a month characterized by structure or routine. Instead, you’ll find yourself in moments that feel spontaneous and sporadic. You may find yourself trying things outside of your comfort zone, exploring new experiences, and opening your mind to fresh concepts.
In January, you’ll have a strong desire for expansion—whether that’s in your personal life, creativity, or experiences. You’re craving growth and don’t want to feel confined, labeled, or boxed in. Freedom will be your primary focus. You’ll want to live fluidly, staying present in the moment and exploring life on your own terms.
This energy also means you likely won’t feel motivated to work hard or push yourself in a rigid, disciplined way. Instead, you’ll prefer a balance. You’ll want days where you handle your responsibilities but also days to relax, experiment, or discover something new. Your mindset in January revolves around freedom and the ability to move through life without a strict plan or routine.
There’s a sense of creativity and imagination flourishing during this time. You’ll be brimming with ideas, energy, and zest for life. You won’t want to channel your energy into just one thing but instead explore multiple avenues. Your imagination will be stimulated, and you’ll find yourself dreaming more, with some revelations even coming through your dreams.
The theme of January for Cancer Moons is choice. You’ll want the freedom to explore various paths without feeling confined to a single option. This openness will allow you to express your authentic self. You’ll be connecting with your heart and embracing a more lighthearted, jovial energy. Mental stimulation will be particularly appealing—you’ll enjoy engaging in conversations or activities that excite and inspire you.
However, this free-flowing energy might lead you to neglect practical responsibilities. You could find yourself escaping from anything that feels too rigid, structured, or burdened by duty. While this could mean neglecting certain aspects of your life, it seems intentional—you’ll likely be doing the bare minimum to get by in those areas while pouring your energy into creativity and exploration.
January will also feel like a breakthrough month. You’ll be shedding the sense of conformity or restriction you may have felt last year. This month is about breaking free from those limitations and embracing a more fluid, exploratory approach to life. It’s a time for self-discovery, creativity, and expansion—a month for exploration and growth as you redefine your path forward.
𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For Leo Moons, I see some challenges in January, particularly in the more practical aspects of your life. Issues related to finances or long-term goals might arise, creating obstacles that feel like they’re stifling your progress. For example, you may have plans to buy a home, but a recent financial setback could have disrupted your savings. Perhaps you’re hoping to purchase a car, go back to school, or invest in something significant, but current circumstances are creating delays or roadblocks.
January feels like a month where you’re putting everything on the table. You’re starting the year with intentional honesty, clarifying what you truly want to achieve in 2024. However, the energy this month feels slow. Any plans, responses, or actions you’re waiting for may be delayed. For example, if you’re expecting something by a certain date, unforeseen circumstances might push it back.
A big reason for this slower pace might stem from challenges or difficulties you experienced in December or last year. January will require you to rebuild after those setbacks. Even though you may feel eager and anxious to move forward quickly, this period is calling for patience. You’re being asked to address unresolved situations, right past wrongs, and lay a stronger foundation after setbacks.
This slow progress might leave you feeling frustrated or on edge. You know what you’re capable of, and you recognize that things can get done, but the lack of speed may tempt you to give up. Despite this, you’ll stick it out because you believe that perseverance will eventually lead to a reward. This belief will help keep you grounded, even when things feel stagnant.
While you’re practicing patience and perseverance, you’ll also find yourself exploring other options. You’ll be looking for alternatives and trying to figure out what works best for you outside of what currently isn’t moving forward. This exploration could be a key part of navigating the challenges in January, as it allows you to remain proactive even when facing delays.
Communication also seems to be a sticking point this month. There could be a lack of clarity or responsiveness from others that adds to the sense of being stuck. Miscommunications or breakdowns in connections might further delay your progress. This could even tie back to unresolved issues from last year—perhaps a falling out or lack of communication with someone left you in a vulnerable place, and now you’re working to recover and get back on track.
Overall, January for Leo Moons is a time of patience and perseverance. While the slower pace and obstacles might be frustrating, this period is about finding stability and building a stronger foundation. By staying grounded, exploring new options, and remaining patient, you’ll be setting the stage for more steady progress in the future.
𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For Virgo Moons, January seems to be a challenging month emotionally. You might find yourself suppressing your feelings rather than addressing them, which can hinder your emotional growth and make it difficult to move forward. It feels like you’re dealing with situations that don’t seem to be in your favor, possibly experiencing what you perceive as bad luck. This could leave you feeling down, but instead of confronting these emotions, you may be ignoring them, which only allows them to fester beneath the surface.
You might feel as though you’re being treated unfairly, either at work or in your personal life. There’s a sense of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment affecting you on multiple levels, but you’re avoiding truly acknowledging or resolving these feelings. This avoidance could stem from deeper insecurities that are being triggered and brought to the surface this month.
Burnout seems to be a central theme for many Virgo Moons in January. You might feel drained and unwilling to put in the effort to improve your situation, likely because you’ve been giving too much of yourself to others or to work and school. This self-sacrificial behavior has led to exhaustion and a sense of defeat, leaving you feeling lackluster and disengaged. For some, this burnout might even manifest physically, with illness or a strong need to take time off from work or other responsibilities.
Many of you may realize that you’ve been stuck in a routine, merely existing rather than truly living. You’ve been pouring so much energy into serving others or fulfilling obligations that you’ve neglected yourself. This lack of self-love and self-fulfillment has taken a toll, making January feel particularly heavy.
Despite these challenges, there is a glimmer of hope. Toward the end of the month—or even throughout the difficulties—you’re likely to hold onto a sense of optimism. You may view these struggles as temporary roadblocks on the path to your long-term happiness and success. This perspective will motivate you to begin prioritizing self-care and doing small things to nurture yourself.
Whether it’s enjoying a cup of hot cocoa or tea, buying yourself something nice, or indulging in a calming experience, you’ll start to reconnect with the relaxation and grounding you deserve. This renewed focus on self-care will help you regain balance and foster a more positive outlook for the future. While January might be tough, it’s not the end of the road. You’ll find that glimmer of hope and run toward it, paving the way for optimism and forward momentum.
𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
The month of January brings an interesting mix of themes for you, with both promise and challenges. Let’s dive into it.
You’re starting the month with a refreshed and revitalized mindset. There’s a strong desire to set clear intentions for the year and approach things with openness and clarity. You want to clear the air with anyone and start the year on a fresh, positive note. However, maintaining this mindset and putting it into practice seems to face some significant obstacles.
This new outlook is accompanied by a strong desire for independence. You’re eager to pursue practical goals related to finances, living arrangements, and material stability. You’re determined to stand on your own, earn your own money, secure your own place, or perhaps even buy a home. You’re ready to do things on your own terms.
Despite this drive, January brings a sense of instability. Your current home life might feel unsettled, or you may be in a living situation that doesn’t align with what you truly want. Dysfunction within the household could create tension, whether through financial struggles or interpersonal conflicts. Arguments or frustrations may disrupt the peace you’re trying to cultivate, leaving you feeling exhausted.
As you strive for a shift in your life, it seems instability keeps pulling you back, forcing you to do damage control. This constant need to address disruptions drains the energy you need to pursue your goals and independence. It can feel like every step forward is met with a roadblock, making it tempting to give up.
On top of these challenges, you may feel torn between following your own path and meeting the expectations or desires of others. This conflict could make it difficult to focus on your own goals and determine the best course for your life. Financial difficulties or a lack of resources might also create additional obstacles, making it harder to take decisive steps toward independence.
It seems like people in your life may also be draining your energy, adding to the struggle of balancing your personal aspirations with your current reality. This tug-of-war energy makes January feel like a battle between pursuing your goals and addressing the challenges of your daily life.
While it’s wonderful that you’re beginning to think about your goals and independence, it’s clear that some of these obstacles will need to be realistically assessed and resolved before you can experience true forward momentum. Right now, your ideas and aspirations may feel intangible, like they’re still forming and not quite ready to take shape.
To make progress, you’ll need to address the instability in your current situation and the fluctuations in your relationships or living dynamics. Without resolving these issues, achieving your goals may feel like an uphill battle. However, your determination and the clarity you’re starting the year with are valuable tools. With time and effort, you’ll find your way through these challenges and move closer to the independence and stability you’re seeking.
𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧:
For Scorpio Moons, January will be a busy and demanding month, with a hectic balance between work, life, school, children, and other obligations. Managing everything will feel overwhelming, and as a result, certain areas of your life may not get the attention they need. You’ll notice some aspects are underdeveloped, incomplete, or neglected due to procrastination or lack of energy.
You may not feel particularly goal-oriented this month. The sheer volume of responsibilities on your plate could make the thought of pursuing new goals or maintaining existing ones feel overwhelming. Your drive and determination might diminish because you’re expending so much energy managing daily tasks. This could create a sense of murkiness or stagnation in your life. You might feel like you’re simply going through the motions of what you have to do, leaving little clarity or action toward what you want to do.
Confusion will likely be a significant theme for you in January. You may feel uncertain about your path, unsure if you’re enjoying what you’re doing, but continuing nonetheless because it feels necessary. Fear and hesitation could hold you back, and you might suppress your emotions to keep up appearances. You’ll likely try to maintain professionalism and diplomacy, concealing your true feelings from others. This attempt to carry the emotional burden alone could leave you feeling weakened and drained.
This internal struggle might make you more sensitive and defensive than usual. You’ll be quick to perceive criticism or comments as attacks, even if they aren’t intended that way. Your heightened sensitivity could make it difficult for you to take things lightly, and emotionally, you may not have the capacity to give to others or show up in a loving, affectionate way.
You might also feel that people are tugging on your energy too much, leaving you mentally and emotionally exhausted. This could result in pulling away from others and spending more time in solitude. While you may spend time thinking about your next steps, it’s possible you won’t make any decisive moves yet.
There’s a sense that you’re holding onto things that no longer serve you, but you’re hesitant to let go. This resistance may create inner conflict, which could be reflected in disagreements with others. Misalignment between your desires and the expectations of those around you could lead to tension.
Harsh exchanges of words may occur, as your communication style might come across as defensive or lacking warmth. This could lead to arguments or conflicts, especially as your sensitivity and overwhelm make it challenging to approach conversations with empathy or compassion. The heightened emotional energy in January suggests that conflicts could escalate quickly, potentially leading to emotional outbursts or unresolved arguments.
It’s important to be mindful of these themes and try to avoid confrontations where possible. This might not be the best time to engage in intense discussions, as the emotional energy could easily lead to explosive interactions. Instead, focus on finding ways to release tension, protect your energy, and prioritize self-care as you navigate the challenges of the month.
𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧:
For Sagittarius Moons, January is going to be an emotionally challenging month. You may find that you’re either not receiving the reciprocity you desire in relationships, or you’re simply struggling within them. There may be stagnant, unresolved issues that remain that way, causing frustration. It’s possible that you’re pulling back from others, retreating into a “no communication” zone, and shutting people out because you’re not interested in dealing with them. You may feel that any attempt to engage would only lead to petty arguments or conflicts over trivial matters, as communication in January might feel immature and lacking in depth.
In conversations, you may find yourself being nitpicky, judgmental, or gossiping, and it could be hard for you to grow or make any real progress in these interactions. January feels like a bit of a split for you, as one part of you wants to shut down emotionally and pull away, while another part wants to move on and recover from past pain. It seems that recently you’ve experienced heartbreak, sadness, or a difficult, tumultuous time, which has been affecting you mentally. You might replay past events in your mind, which triggers more pain. But deep down, you don’t want to stay stuck in this mindset for too long, as you recognize that continuing to dwell on it only prolongs the hurt.
In January, you may try to focus on healing and moving on. You’ll likely want to invest in love again. It’s as though something small, like a bird flying by, will remind you that life isn’t all about sorrow and pain; love is also part of the experience. This realization could shift your mindset, making you more open to love and affection again. You might crave romance, closeness, and connection with family. Perhaps you’re even considering starting a family or desiring to feel more intimate and connected with others.
However, this isn’t necessarily a grounded month for you, which isn’t surprising given your fiery nature. You might neglect more practical or responsible aspects of your life and let things slide. It could be that you’re more focused on alleviating the mental exhaustion and emotional pain you’re feeling, using love and romantic distractions as a way to cope. You may find yourself immersing in relationships or environments that offer the love, softness, and openness you’ve been craving.
January could be a month where you feel compelled to give more, even though it’s not that you have an abundance to give. It’s more about breaking out of your ego and old patterns, becoming more open and receptive to others by offering yourself or your time to them. You might feel drawn to court or chase after romantic connections, though this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll enter a solid relationship. There may be a lack of reciprocity, where you want something from someone, but they aren’t able to give it back to you in the way you desire.
You could be idealizing romance in a way that distracts you from the pain of your current reality, seeing love as a solution to what you feel is missing in your life. You may focus on the idea of romance as a way to bring you closer to the sense of community and connection you crave. You might try to give something to others, whether it’s material gifts or simply showing up for them, as a way to express your generosity. While this may not result in a solid connection, it’s more about a desire to experience the love you’ve been missing. You’re likely idealizing romance in January, as your heart yearns for the emotional fulfillment that love can bring.
𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For Capricorn Moons, January is a whirlwind of different situations. To start, I feel like you’re not as goal-oriented this month, and while Capricorns are typically known for their ambition, it seems like you’re taking a step back from being so intensely invested in goals and achievements. Instead, you may want to lay low, relax, and focus more on enjoying life this year, rather than relentlessly pursuing perfection through accomplishments. I sense that you’re working on managing your anxiety, as you may have experienced a lot of mental exhaustion, depression, or a sense of losing yourself in the past. In January, you’re focused on relieving yourself of these anxieties and fears, striving for a clearer mind and a sense of calm.
This shift in focus is helping you create a new mindset where you’re not constantly buried in repressed emotions or negative mental states. You’re aiming to be more lighthearted and clear-headed, and as part of this process, you’re learning to set boundaries with yourself and others. You’re gaining a better understanding of what you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re not, which is also improving how you communicate. In January, your communication is clearer, with less emotional cloudiness, making it easier for people to understand you.
You’re also in a headspace where you want to move forward and embrace a simpler, more relaxed life. You don’t want to be overly gregarious or hyper-focused on grand achievements. Instead, you’re contemplating what truly matters to you and working on executing those priorities. I feel like you’re in a clear, grounded place where you’re manifesting certain things in your life, but without overwhelming yourself. You’ve let go of high expectations, and now you’re approaching your desires in a more reasonable, attainable way.
However, there are some challenges regarding relationships, particularly with someone from your past. I sense you’re stuck on an ex, someone you had deep feelings for or were once in a relationship with. In January, you may find yourself constantly thinking about this person, idealizing the relationship, or dwelling on the past. Even if you’re meeting someone new who brings you positive energy, fun, and stimulation, your ex seems to be occupying your mind, making it difficult to fully move on. It’s as if you’re torn between being stuck on the past and trying to embrace new connections.
While you’re still processing your feelings about your ex, you’re also trying to release the anxiety of having to make a choice. You’re allowing yourself the freedom to entertain new people and have fun without the pressure of commitment. You’re no longer overly serious about every connection you have, and you’re learning to enjoy the moment without stressing about being locked into any one person or situation.
In January, you’re focused on moving forward, but you may still feel a bit stuck at times. Your main goal, however, is to enjoy yourself, relax, and not confine yourself to a rigid path. You’re embracing a more carefree, balanced approach to life, choosing to focus on enjoying your time and space rather than being bogged down by goals or past relationships.
𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For you, Aquarius, January is going to be a very interesting month. I feel like you’re really trying to break free from restrictions and embrace freedom. You want to do things on your terms without always having to consider other people’s feelings, lifestyles, or thought processes. There’s definitely some conflicting energies at play in January. For one, I sense a lot of energy coming from you. At certain points during the month, you’ll have this burst of energy where you want to try new things, take on new projects, and get involved in things you’ve never done before. You’re not interested in sticking to a routine; you want to break free from it, to do something that excites and energizes you, helping you reconnect with your true self. You may have felt that you lost some of your authenticity last year, but in January, you’re determined to reclaim it. You’re ready to raise your energy and go after things you haven’t pursued before.
I see a lot of creativity brewing within you. You want to start the new year by stepping out of your comfort zone. If you’ve been doing the same things for a long time, now is the time to break free and try something different. There are some radical changes happening, and you’re facing them head-on with strength and determination. You’re in a go-getter mindset at the start of the year, feeling revitalized, energetic, and motivated. You might be feeling the urge to hit the gym, get in shape, and build yourself up to take on whatever you want. It’s a time for transformation, and you’re determined to make the most of it.
However, while your energy is high, I do see some obstacles that might impede your progress. That energy may not be consistent. You might experience bursts of motivation that suddenly die down due to external circumstances. One of the key challenges in January will be your relationships with others, particularly in how you communicate and connect with them. Although you want to pursue these new opportunities and goals, you may struggle with indecision and overthinking. You’ll find yourself weighing the pros and cons too much, which might keep you from taking action.
Your mind, at times, may not be your best ally. You could be dealing with mental instability, feeling trapped by your own thoughts. This could create confusion and delay your ability to take decisive action. You may want to achieve things independently, but you’ll find yourself needing to communicate and relate to others, which can become a source of frustration. Instead of simply executing your ideas, you might get caught up in discussions and over-explaining your plans to others, causing you to lose focus. The more you talk about your ideas, the more resistance you may face from those around you, leading to conflict.
These conflicts could slow you down, and you may feel stuck, as others demand your attention and disagree with your plans. You might try to go your own way, but the people around you won’t let you. This can lead to frustration, arguments, and feelings of defeat, leaving you feeling down and discouraged. You might end up stuck in limbo, unable to move forward as you had hoped. January may not be the month for you to fully achieve what you want because the people and circumstances around you aren’t in alignment with your goals. However, this doesn’t mean it’s the end—it’s just a delay in your progress. Stay grounded and keep pushing forward, even if it feels like things aren’t going as planned.
𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧
For you, Pisces Moon, the month of January brings significant change, especially after the mental challenges you faced last year or in December. You were dealing with mental overload, anxiety, and depression, leaving you feeling imbalanced and stuck. It seemed like you were often in the wrong place at the wrong time, or that life wasn’t treating you fairly. These feelings may have weighed heavily on your mental health, making you feel as though you were getting the short end of the stick.
In January, however, I see you moving toward healing, which is a positive shift. You’re starting to let go of the mental pain and anguish that previously held you back. This is a time for release and renewal, but it seems you’re still somewhat closed off. While you may be healing mentally, you’re not yet feeling adventurous or curious about exploring new opportunities or diving into exciting experiences. You’re more focused on cultivating positivity within yourself than on outward exploration.
Your mindset is shifting toward optimism. Perhaps you’re beginning to believe that good things can happen for you this year. There’s a growing sense of encouragement, as you might start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Opportunities could arise in January that spark this newfound positivity—whether through better weather, uplifting interactions, or small but meaningful moments in your week-to-week life. These experiences may help you feel lighter, more confident, and more at peace with yourself.
You may also be working on expanding your perspective and exploring new ways of thinking. This could involve imagining or dreaming of more positive outcomes in your life. Some of you might even wake up refreshed after having uplifting dreams. Week by week, it seems you’ll notice subtle improvements, whether in the form of kind gestures from others, small wins, or an increased sense of self-assurance. I also see a boost in your confidence—especially in your physical appearance. You’re likely feeling more comfortable in your skin and carrying yourself with renewed energy.
Romance is another area where positive shifts may occur. Many of you will feel more romantic, dreamy, and even cheesy when it comes to love. If you’re already in a relationship, January could be a time to revitalize the connection, enjoy more moments together, and bring passion back into your bond. Communication will flow more easily, allowing you to open up and feel closer to your partner. If you’re in the talking stage with someone, this could be the month where things deepen, bringing you closer to commitment or simply to a more lighthearted and enjoyable dynamic.
Overall, January appears to be a time of emotional release and gentle healing. While you may not be diving headfirst into new experiences or adventures just yet, you’re finding joy in smaller, meaningful moments. Whether it’s spending quality time with loved ones, appreciating life’s simple pleasures, or connecting more deeply with a romantic partner, this month offers opportunities for growth, confidence, and optimism. You’re beginning to let go of negativity and embrace the positive aspects of life at a pace that feels right for you.
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utilitycaster · 4 months ago
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thank you so much for your analysis on BH, Ive been thinking for ages that they seemed like the wrong fit for this particular campaign and it's nice to see that I'm not alone. It kinda baffled me that even knowing the crux of the campaign was going to be about the fate of the gods, Matt didn't like... just tell the cast that their characters opinion on divinity would be important?
I really feel like this plot needed more religious characters, even if they weren't outright clerics or paladins. The only one filling that role is Sam and while I love him and FCG his approach to religion seems kinda... cynical? shallow? Possibly just more focused on the goofs of it all. Which is a fine choice in a vacuum but god, what I wouldn't do for this party to have a Caduceus or even a Vax figure so it didn't feel like a bunch of agnostics were deciding the fate of religion.
So here's my opinion, and I've said this before: I agree that making characters who had a coherent, developed opinion on divinity before the campaign that was discussed as part of the character build is important...but I actually don't think it matters if there's no clerics or paladins or even religious characters. I also said this before: my ultimate problem, in the end, is not just the indecision but the fact that they're not even exploring indecision; they just are drifting through a narrative from which they feel disconnected. I as a person viewing the show think killing the gods is a dumb idea, but a campaign in which the characters confidently embraced an anti-god position and took actions in the service of that goal would be infinitely more enjoyable. I do not need characters to live out my personal values, because I do that in my real life, in the same way that I can enjoy characters who are vastly different than I in personality.
I think Keyleth is a fantastic example of both indecision as an actual conscious character trait (during Campaign 1) and a character who is not religious or even particularly respects the gods but who seems to have actually thought through the implications and made an assessment. Keyleth's analysis paralysis and fear of making a harmful decision or being hurt is the point of the character, and Marisha explores it directly during Campaign 1; it is ultimately what is holding Keyleth back from becoming the leader she needs to be, and working through it is the arc of her character. Avoidance or indecision is a fantastic character flaw to explore (Bellara in Veilguard is a recent example that's been on my mind) but it is a character flaw to be explored, and for the character to do something interesting with, and Bells Hells just...as I've said, drift. They keep going through open doors because they are there and never say "do I even want to go through this door? Why or why not?" and the entire purpose of a character in fiction, in my opinion, is to ask that question.
I actually pretty strongly disagree about FCG. I think they took a bit longer than I'd like to click but I actually found FCG's exploration of religion to be one of the deeper ones in the series. I think the party often disparaged it, and the fandom certainly did ("Fearne should make that stupid robot eat his own coin" will remain burned in my brain forever; I cannot take someone who said that as anything but a shriveled husk of a person unless they admit it was horribly mean-spirited and they regret it) but FCG is the rare member of Bells Hells who actually explored the concept of having autonomy and agency - that was his entire arc, actually - and to have this be told through embracing the god of chance and freedom, whom he learned about by chance, was a highlight of the campaign. I would strongly advise you reconsider seeing this as nothing but a bit; just because Sam tends to make a lot of dumb jokes doesn't mean he's not often telling a pretty profound story underneath, and this is a lesson it took me until this campaign to learn, to be honest. But I will say I don't think FCG being here now would fix things any more than Braius does, in part because the rest of the party looked down on faith but also didn't really condemn it. They just made vaguely unkind comments and continued doing fuck all. As my ask earlier today said, they didn't actually challenge each other; they just sort of passive-aggressively bitch. The point that many people made very early on, that Bells Hells has a veneer of cooperation and civility but lack the actual true bonds that only arise through working through conflict, remains true.
Getting back to it, I think the fact that NPCs who are not affiliated with the Prime deities nor Betrayer Gods and even struggle against them (Percy, Keyleth; the entire Kryn Dynasty; a massive number of entirely secular governments including the Clovis Concord, the remnants of the Cerberus Assembly, as far as I know the Marquesian governments, the Silken Squall) are unambiguously against Ludinus and the release of Predathos means that it's not the lack of clerics or paladins or everyday religious people. I don't care if agnostics decide the fate of the world, but DAMN those agnostics better have a fucking vision for what the world should be. I could talk at length about why I think killing the gods is a deranged and unrealistic solution to the problems the characters claim to think it will fix, but ultimately I don't even feel like the characters care about those problems. The titans are still going to be fucking dead, conquest and colonialism already exist within Exandria without the aid of any gods. Hell, Ashton's whole situation could be replicated precisely again in a world with no gods; and as the Ruidusborn were created by Predathos as keys to release it, I don't think there's a reason to have any more but I don't think that's really what Imogen was going for. It's the same kind of thing we call rapture culture among terminally online types: the idea that with one big act of violence you will usher in a new, better age. The idea that violent change is inherently for the better is infantile and utterly self-centered, as is the idea that putting off a choice until it becomes inevitable is anything other than selfish and stupid. I would rather the choice of the fate of the gods come from atheists who weren't infantile and self-centered and selfish and stupid than clerics and paladins who were. That's it.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 10 months ago
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Break-In 2
Character: God the Bounty Hunter
Warnings: this drabble includes elements which may be dark. Please mind these warnings and take care.
Explicit, 18+. Please reblog and leave some feedback.
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Another morning has you groggy, your feet heavy and clumsy as you rub your eyes and stagger through the early dim. Your body goes into autopilot as your brain is still half-asleep. You put a new pod in the coffee maker but knock over another used capsule as you go to open the cupboard. You catch it before it can roll off the counter. It’s still warm. 
You stare as you hold onto the little plastic cup full of wet coffee grounds. You perk up as your ears prick at the thrum through the walls. How hadn’t you noticed the running shower? You set the pod down and back away from the counter. 
You tiptoe down the hall and put your ear to the bathroom door. You live alone... 
You recoil as your mind returns to that night you were certain was a walking nightmare or at the very least some distorted episode of sleep paralysis. This is very much real. Like before, there’s just enough doubt to disturb you. 
You retreat and check the balcony door at the opposite end of the front room. It’s locked. Your foot hits a pair of boots just beside the door and you look down at the dark heap, laces tucked into the top. Holy shit. 
You run back across the apartment. The shower cranks and the pipes still. As you come to the bathroom door, it opens in a plume of smoke. You stop short and stare, waiting for the intruder to appear. What are you doing? You need something. A knife or a frying pan. Anything. 
You creep forward and peek around the door frame as the humidity seeps out into the hall. It’s that same man. He has a towel around his waist as he uses a travel toothbrush and growls at himself in the mirror. You pull back and press your shoulders to the wall. 
It’s him. That spectre who haunted your couch only to disappear with the daylight. You take a step to the side and the sink shuts off as the man spits into the porcelain. Another step and he clears his throat. 
“I’m almost done,” he calls out. 
You freeze and gape towards the rectangle of light that shines onto the wall. His silhouette blots it out and he leans forward just enough for you to glimpse his profile. You don’t know what to say or do. 
“You don’t want to get hurt.” 
You think he’s asking but you can’t tell. 
He sighs, “well neither do I.” 
He goes back into the bathroom as you linger in ominous fog of his words. You stand straight and turn to face the hallway, wavering in indecision. Last time he left without issue. There wasn’t a single sign of him left, so much so that you’d really believed he was just a hallucination. It gives you hope that this time will be the same. 
He emerges as he zips up his pants, his shirt over his arms, the harness with the large knife dangling next to it. He shuts off the light, casting himself in darkness, and closes in on you as you scramble backwards. He has you on your heels as you veer and dodge him as you back up into the kitchen. He passes without a glance. 
“Money,” he reaches over the counter that divides the kitchen from the front room and places something on the ledge, “for the coffee and laundry.” 
You squint as he continues on through the darkness. You hesitate then inch towards the coffee machine. You take down a mug and place it under the spout. You need caffeine before you can deal with this. 
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novlr · 4 months ago
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Hello! Do you have any advice for indecisiveness when creating characters? I don't have much trouble with creating conflict, but figuring out my characters is difficult. I'm working on a character-driven story, and I have an internal conflict, I'm just not sure how the story will manifest. The worst part is I can't even find advice online because all character advice is about character development, making your characters complex, etc.... My problem is I don't know what my character is doing. I'm talking about their occupation. Student? Corporate job? Architect? Artist? My conflict is good to go but now I'm stuck here...
As a writer, creating characters who are believable and relatable is one of the most crucial aspects of storytelling. However, many writers struggle with indecisiveness when it comes to creating their characters, especially when it comes to their occupations and how their stories will manifest.
You get to mould your characters into whatever form you like, but it’s easy to suffer from choice paralysis when you’re confronted with the entirety of human experience, both real and imagined. The good news is, if you already know your story conflict, then you can actually narrow down and be a bit more targeted in how you go about creating characters.
Start with the basics
When creating a character, it’s essential to start with the basics. This includes their name, age, gender, physical appearance, and personality traits. These fundamental elements will serve as the foundation for your character and help you build upon them as you develop their story. Come up with these by asking yourself a series of questions with your story conflict and theme firmly in your mind.
Name: Choose a name that fits your character’s personality and background. Consider their age, culture, and the time period in which your story takes place. And don’t be afraid to use a random name generator or even a placeholder—there’s always a chance to change your mind in the editing phases.
Age: Determine your character’s age by how it influences their behaviour, beliefs, and experiences. Would an older or a younger characters respond to their conflict differently? And which better suites the story you want to tell?
Gender: Decide on your character’s gender and how it shapes their identity and interactions with others. Will your story’s conflict play out differently if your character’s gender expression were reversed, or if they were non-binary?
Physical appearance: Describe your character’s physical features, such as their height, weight, hair colour, and any distinguishing characteristics. Unfortunately there’s no easy way to do that. You just have to use your imagination and commit.
Personality traits: Identify your character’s key personality traits, such as their strengths, weaknesses, fears, and desires. These should relate to your character’s goal and conflict in some way.
Explore their background
Once you have a basic understanding of your character, it’s time to delve into their background. This includes their family history, upbringing, education, and any significant life events that have shaped who they are. Their background can feed directly into the conflict, as it can be a great source of pressure for how your plot develops.
Family history: Explore your character’s relationships with their family members, or how not having a family unit around them affects them as a person. Consider how their family dynamics have influenced their beliefs, values, and behaviours and how this can feed into their internal and external conflicts.
Upbringing: Determine where your character grew up and how their environment has shaped their worldview. Did they have a happy childhood, or did they face challenges and adversity? Did this affect their career choices?
Education: Decide on your character’s level of education and how it has impacted their career opportunities and whether it feeds into their internal conflict.
Significant life events: Identify any pivotal moments in your character’s life that have had a lasting impact on their personality and behaviour. Do they have any direct or indirect relationship with your story’s conflict and theme?
Determine their occupation
One of the most challenging aspects of creating characters is deciding on their occupation. This is especially true for writers who are working on character-driven stories and have a clear internal conflict but are unsure how the story will take shape. So how can we make that easier?
Consider their skills and interests: What is your character naturally good at? What do they enjoy doing? Their occupation should align with their skills and interests.
Think about their personality: How does your character’s personality influence their career choices? Are they ambitious and driven, or are they more laid-back and content with a simple life?
Explore their background: How has your character’s upbringing and education influenced their career path? Did they follow in their family’s footsteps, or did they forge their own path? Did they overcome adversity to reach where they are now, or were they barred from certain opportunities because of an educational, physical, or social handicap?
Consider the story’s themes: How does your character’s occupation tie into the overall themes and message of your story? Can their job serve as a metaphor or symbol for something deeper?
Connect the dots
Once you have a clear understanding of your character’s basics, background, and occupation, it’s time to connect the dots and see how these elements influence their internal conflict and the conflict and theme of the overall story.
Identify the internal conflict: What is your character struggling with internally? Is it a moral dilemma, a personal struggle, or a conflict between their desires and responsibilities?
Explore how their background influences the conflict: How has your character’s upbringing, family history, and significant life events contributed to their internal conflict?
Consider how their occupation ties into the conflict: Does your character’s job create additional challenges or pressures that exacerbate their internal conflict?
Think about how the conflict will manifest in the story: How will your character’s internal struggle play out in the plot? Will they face external challenges that force them to confront their internal conflict?
In summary
Creating compelling characters is a crucial aspect of storytelling, but it can be challenging for writers who struggle with indecisiveness. By starting with the basics, exploring your character’s background, determining their occupation, and connecting the dots between these elements and both their internal and the story conflict, you’ll be well on your way to creating characters that will bring your stories to life.
Remember, character creation is a process, and it’s okay to take your time and explore different options until you find what works best for your story. Don’t be afraid to experiment and make changes as you go along. With practice and persistence, you’ll become more confident in your ability to create compelling characters that resonate with readers
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1yyyyyy1 · 1 year ago
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There is a tip I want to share that could be helpful in dealing with dissociation — or, at the very least, the decision paralysis that comes with it. It isn't necessarily related to psychology, but it does get to show that solutions can come from the most unexpected of places.
A few years ago I was going through a dark period in my life, and, at the time, my brain was having a very hard time processing what was happening, meaning that I could barely believe that the world around me was real. In this state any action you take can seem pointless because you are unsure if it would make any difference since your surroundings and existence do not feel real to yourself, or even dangerous because sometimes you delude yourself into thinking that your circumstances are something they are not — like believing that you are behaving dementedly in front of a crowd while you are in the safety of your home.
During that time I came across a video about a philosophical concept that can be basically summarized as having to establish a baseline when dealing with unreality. In science and philosophy, it is acknowledged that we do not quite know what consciousness is or if the world around us is not a figment of imagination; and the issue with this indecisiveness is that it can induce the exact decision paralysis I am talking about. For this reason, science accepts the immediate reality as the baseline to move forward with its analysis, and this is the mindset I turn to when I feel dissociation creeping up on me.
I may not know if what I am perceiving is real, but nothing will come to fruition if I do not presume that it is.
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mariacallous · 2 years ago
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As Israel prepares for a major ground war in Gaza, it’s not quite the time for it to examine how and why its intelligence failed to detect any sign of Hamas’s devastating weekend attack by land, sea, and air. That time will come, as it did after the Arab-Israeli War of 1973, another surprise attack that commentators are drawing parallels to this week. But as much as Saturday’s attacks were a failure of intelligence, they also represent a failure of diplomacy—or the world’s abandonment of a Middle East peace process.
For much of the 1980s and ’90s, the United States called on the services of Aaron David Miller as it sought to broker Arab-Israeli negotiations. Miller worked closely with six Republican and Democratic secretaries of state. Since he left the State Department in 2003, diplomacy has taken a further backseat, making the current war seem, in hindsight, something that was brewing for years.
I spoke with Miller on FP Live, the magazine’s platform for live journalism. Subscribers can watch the full video in the box atop this page. What follows is a condensed and edited transcript.
Ravi Agrawal: So, given your depth of history in the Middle East, I’m curious whether you see Saturday’s attack as unprecedented. Some U.S. commentators have been calling it Israel’s 9/11.
Aaron David Miller: Historical analogies can be very flawed, particularly the comparative issue of what happens in the Middle East to our own politics. I would use 1973 as a sort of point of departure in some respects. The attacks that led to that war were a massive intelligence failure, but it was very much a war on the borders with little or no involvement of the civilian population. And then-Egyptian President Anwar Sadat had a clear strategy to inflict a limited and specific military defeat on Israel by establishing an Egyptian presence on the east bank of the Suez Canal and then trying to figure a way to convert that—with a lot of U.S. help—into disengagement agreements that would hopefully pave the way for an Egyptian-Israeli peace treaty.
However, what’s happened over the past four days is quite different. It is part and parcel of a long confrontation between Israel and Hamas. I’m not sure where this is going, but it’s clear to me that you have the largest attack on civilians in the history of the state of Israel. Hamas’s strategy is certainly not as focused or as coherent as Sadat’s.
RA: Hamas claims to have more than a hundred Israeli hostages, which dramatically complicates a potential response on Israel’s part. How might Israel be thinking about this?
ADM: That’s a fundamental difference with 1973, when there were plenty of prisoners taken by the Syrians and the Egyptians. This is another order of magnitude. The 900 Israelis dead provide a basis for extraordinary anger, hatred, and a call for vengeance.
But the 900 dead have to be weighed against the reality of 150 living hostages. That, I think, is the conundrum that the Israelis face. That balance has created tension and, to a degree, some indecision and paralysis on how to respond.
The Israelis have responded with two tactical actions. They’ve blockaded Gaza, and they’ve conducted a series of punishing airstrikes. What is the purpose of those tactics with regard to either paving the way for a larger ground operation or trying to sort through some way to free hostages? That makes this situation seem unique to me. The options are incredibly fraught.
The issue of prisoner releases resonates deeply in the Palestinian street and would boost Hamas’s prestige enormously. Are the Israelis ready and willing to pay that price now? Again, there are a lot of unknowns both for us as analysts—and clearly, the Israelis.
RA: The attacks represent a real intelligence failure for Israel. How are you thinking about the state of readiness of Israel’s military as it approaches the next few weeks?
ADM: There will be a national commission of inquiry, as there was in the wake of the 1973 attacks. This was an intelligence failure but an operational failure as well. Did the Israelis put too much emphasis on technical intelligence? What about human intelligence?
The Israelis completely misjudged Hamas’s capabilities and motives. Because Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was so anxious and eager for an Israeli-Saudi deal, he wanted calm in Gaza and was prepared to release or allow more Palestinian workers into Israel. All of this put a major focus on Hamas as a governing entity and not as a force that could pull off an operation like this, which was extremely bold and radical.
It was the failure to imagine and to underestimate, much as the government of Golda Meir did in 1973, the potential and determination of their adversaries.
On the operational side, it’s going to take some serious explanation to try to determine why there were so few Israelis deployed in Gaza. Clearly, the Israelis were focused on the West Bank. They had come to accept a certain amount of complacency at the border. And Hamas did their homework. In the weeks before, there were demonstrations on the border line—they clearly did a reconnaissance to identify points of vulnerability. In a way, it was a combination of Hamas learning from its mistakes—going dark, so to speak—and the Israelis simply not anticipating.
RA: Will Hezbollah join this war? Of all the scenarios that we’re going to be playing out over the next week or two, that is the one that could dramatically escalate things.
ADM: The opening of the northern front would do that, given the incredible superiority both in tactics, training, and the weapons that Hezbollah has accumulated since 2006. Seventeen years later, its repository of high trajectory weapons has increased in range.
Hezbollah’s calculations are somewhat opaque. I think it’s torn by its own awareness as a Lebanese organization. It’s not a wholly owned subsidiary of Tehran and the Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC), despite the incredibly close relations between the two. That’s a calculation I think that Hezbollah has yet to make.
There’s growing tensions on the border. It’s a wait-and-see operation at this point. Hezbollah’s response is going to depend on what the Israelis do with respect to Gaza. To stay out of a massive Israeli ground operation that much broader and deeper into Gaza—I’m not sure Hezbollah could stay out.
RA: Let’s add one more complicating factor to the mix: Iran. Hamas itself has gone on the BBC and said it received help from Tehran. The U.S. State Department, however, has said that it hasn’t yet seen a smoking gun.
ADM: For the Iranians, the Arab-Israeli issue is a window through which they can project their influence and power and take advantage of proxies to further Iranian interests. I’m not sure the full story has yet been told on the degree of coordination, or lack thereof, between Tehran and Hamas. I think Hamas and Iranian objectives on several issues probably coincided.
I’m just not yet ready to buy the notion that this is Tehran operating Hamas by remote control. Yes, the IRGC could have instructed Hamas in tactics and supplied weapons and the like. But part of Hamas going dark meant that Hamas members needed to restrict the circle of who knew about this operation and what they were planning. Adding the Iranians to the mix would open up the circle to intelligence penetration.
On the issue of Israel and Saudi Arabia, I think Hamas and Iranian objectives coincided. I do believe that Hamas’s central objective, in addition to trading hostages for prisoners, was to inflict a level of pain and terror to disrupt Israeli normalcy in a way no other Palestinian group has ever done in the decades of engagement, even during the early ’70s and the airline hijackings. This was a huge motivation on the part of Hamas, as well as to reaffirm the centrality of the Palestinian issue in the minds of the region.
RA: Let’s zoom out a bit more. You have advised so many U.S. administrations now on this very issue. What would you advise them today? How should they think about this? How should they react?
ADM: I’ll just give you my sense of the Biden administration.
I’ll frame it as three concepts, all beginning with the letter P. The first is the president’s persona. The presidential model here to understand is not Barack Obama—it’s Bill Clinton. Joe Biden and Clinton, even though they are part of different political generations, when it comes to Israel they have very similar views. Love of Israel, support for Israel’s security, and support for the idea of Israel are all deeply buried in Clinton’s and Biden’s emotional and political DNA. The idea that you’re going to get this president involved in a way that crosses Israeli lines, particularly now, I think is highly unlikely.
The second is politics. The Republican Party has emerged as the go to party on this. And while what happens in Israel is not going to play a major role in the 2024 U.S. election campaign, the reality is that this administration cannot afford to allow the Republicans to paint it as being hostile or adversarial to Israel.
And this brings us to the third point, which is on policy. There are two issues out there that the administration needs to figure out a way to manage. One is a crisis: what to do about Iran’s nuclear program. And the other is an opportunity: how to deal with the possibility of Israeli-Saudi normalization, which the administration is very interested in. The reality is that Netanyahu sits at the center of both of these.
For all of these reasons, the administration has made a strategic decision to give the Israelis the time and space and the support to do what they’re going to do. What that is, is unclear. Fighting with an Israeli prime minister publicly is awkward, messy, and distracting, and it could potentially be politically costly. All you need to do is look at the past 10 months of the way in which the administration has engaged with the most right-wing, extremist, fundamentalist government in the history of the state of Israel. If they were able and willing to do it before Oct. 7, they are certainly willing and able to do it now.
RA: How do you see U.S. support evolving as Palestinians continue to die in Gaza in the coming weeks? Will that exert a new kind of public pressure on the White House?
ADM: In the wake of Oct. 7, the Biden administration has already built into its calculations the possibility that what you’re going to see in Gaza will go beyond anything that the Israelis have done in the past. The default position, as it’s been for many years, is to emphasize the importance of Israeli security. Looking at the president’s statement and his public remarks in the wake of the attack, there was no mention of restraint, no mention of calm, no mention of finding a way to diffuse, in an effort to create a political pathway forward.
As the stories of what happened in the south of Israel continue to come out, the administration is going to be an impossible position. The administration will be caught navigating the line between a Republican Party that wants them to blindly support Israel and a divided Democratic Party, some of which wants them to impose accountability and costs. It is in the administration’s interest to bring whatever is coming to an end as quickly as possible. We’re in a period in which U.S. influence and leverage, already constrained, is going to be hard-pressed despite the presence of nine Americans who have reportedly been killed, and the likelihood of Americans who are dual nationals being taken hostage. The administration, at least for now, is going to follow Israel’s lead.
RA: Do you see the possibility of a peace process emerging from this attack?
ADM: It’s morally and ethically unconscionable for me to say never, and essentially to abandon hope that any crisis, no matter how irrepressible, violent, and bloody, might not offer up a pathway out.
Right now, Israelis and Palestinians are trapped in a strategic cul-de-sac. They’ve been trapped there since our effort during the Clinton administration to bring former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, Palestine Liberation Organization leader Yasser Arafat, and Clinton together at Camp David, which I helped plan, and was ill-advised, ill-conceived, and ill-timed despite the profoundly good intentions of Bill Clinton, who may have loved Israelis and Palestinians too much.
The four missing ingredients that are required to create a negotiation that would end in a durable and equitable solution for Israelis and Palestinians have never been present.
Number one is leaders who are masters, not prisoners of their ideologies and their politics. Any time there was progress in this conflict, whether it was Sadat-Begin, Rabin-Arafat, Rabin-Hussein, you needed that. I’m not talking about the Abraham Accords. I’m talking about conflict zone requirements and conflicts that have been bathed in blood and trauma and historical wounding. You need leaders—big leaders. We don’t have them.
Number two, you need a sense of ownership. That famous expression, “In the history of the world, nobody ever washed a rental car,” is a profound piece of personal philosophy. People don’t wash rental cars because they care only about what they own. Almost every negotiation has proceeded without the participation of the United States, whether it was Egypt-Israel, Israel-Jordan for decades, and certainly Oslo in its initial stages. You don’t have that sense of ownership now. Ownership is driven by pain and the prospects of gain.
Number three, you need effective mediation. Despite the transgressions or flaws of the United States, our biases, and our preferential treatment of one side rather than the other, we still potentially have the will and the skill to do this. The will is extremely important. You’re going to have to apply a lot of honey both on the negotiating table and in terms of off-the-table benefits. But you also are going to need to apply a lot of vinegar.
Finally, number four, you need an end state that both Israelis and Palestinians can agree on. I know that the conventional wisdom is that the two-state solution has gone the way of the dodo. It’s virtually impossible to resurrect it. I would still submit to you—and maybe I am going the way of the dodo as well—that separation through negotiation is the only solution that will address the demographic, political, psychological, and historical problem of overlapping sacred space that exists in Jerusalem on the Temple Mount.
The only solution that can address all of that is something called a confederation. Call it two states. Separation through negotiation. Two polities willing to live with each other in peace and security. That seems galactically impossible right now, and it is. But that’s what’s required. We need to look honestly and clearly, especially at the U.S. role, which I have done a lot of thinking about when it comes to this particular question.
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msalzaabi · 7 months ago
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While I was reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, I came across this quote:
‘I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story… I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose.’
This passage stopped me in my tracks. Plath captures so perfectly that overwhelming feeling of having too many possibilities and the fear of choosing wrong. The fig tree metaphor felt so personal—each fig, a life path full of potential, and yet, the indecision to choose one leaves you with none. It’s such a vivid representation of paralysis by choice, something many of us face when confronted with life’s major decisions. Plath’s ability to articulate that silent fear of ‘What if I make the wrong choice?’ made this moment stand out for me in a way that felt deeply relatable and hauntingly real.
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liliallowed · 1 year ago
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Imagine if the player got bored or something and used Y/N as a vessel to flirt with Dust.
That would be so out of pocket.
hmmm. well that is a good idea but...
I was thinking something even more interesting.
I won't elaborate since that plotline is for my Thornbound souls fic but yeah I've had this idea before. just... with a plot twist or... two
in the meantime though enjoy this short little fic!
you were in the lion's den and one mistake could cost you your reset.
but you liked to gamble. going all in on a bet made your heart beat fast with excitement.
how good WAS your y/n impression actually? you were fairly confident you could mimick their behavior and personallity...
though... it would be even more natural to have the vessel be in full control... while you simply observed and felt things from their perspective. let them take the lead.
or maybe they would? as long as they made the same choices y/n would've made anyways, there was no distress in the soul and they'd be completely in sync and unrecognizable. but?
one missed heartbeat... a TINY BIT of indecisive behavior and they KNEW he'd pick that up on the MOMENT their soul studders.
they knew he had his senses hyperfixed on this humans pathetic mushy soul.
what did he see in them anyway?...
you sigh feeling a slight throb in you head but it disappeared the moment you open your eyes.
you can't help but notice a familiar hooded figure is watching you, his eyelights observing you silently.
🩶[close your eyes again and pretend to be sleeping so he'll go away. it's just a dream y/n you're still dreaming.]
"stop staring at me."
"... why are you still here... am I still dreaming?"
you close your eyes swiftly as you try to ignore the sound of your definitely NOT real paralysis demon strapping closer... closer...
he's right there you don't dare open your eyes you KNOW his face is only millimeters away from yours cuz you can FEEL his eyelights digging into your soul.
nope. you aren't seeing him. he's fake. you're just tired. he's not real. you just need to MOVE your hand and see if you can touch air.
... your hand... slips through the air. there's actually nothing there?
🩶[check]
you open your right eye squinting... nothing there.
you open the other one to get jumpscared by his face against.
🩶"EEP! "
[eye roll]
[stare into the void. maybe he'll go away???]
you let out a small scared squeak ducking under the comfort of your pillow... then look back.
yep. still there. still VERY MUCH THERE.
/your ears barely pick up the sound of a small chuckle./
/.../
/you're starting to see the appeal actually... this vessel is kinda adorable./
before you can make a choice however,
you find yourself glaring at the skeleton as you step out of bed, walking up to him with a stubborn face.
"why are you here?"
/huh... without input? they're pissed hehehehe./
"just checking up on you" he shrugged.
"don't you have some... demon thingy to catch or something." you mutter half heartedly.
"lost their trace. soooo knowing that freak YOU'RE the most likely person they'll cling onto"
/PFFFFT- *spits out coffee*/
/HOLY FUK... dude... dude I'm not sus. I swear./
"... I think I would KNOW if I'm possessed." you roll your eyes.
"I can tell" his grin sharpens.
"can you stop giving me vague threats!? I'm NOT GONNA... GO ON SOME DUMB... cosmic black hole time warping... WHATEVER THE HELL YOU SAID!" you glare at him.
"it's okay. take your time. either the mask slips or you're right and I'm just paranoid. the more we talk the more I'll get to... test your answers."
"you're fucking crazy."
"I know what I am."
🩶"just leave me alone... last thing I need is you telling me my choices aren't my own. FUCK off."
his sockets squint... as if he's looking for something in your stubborn face...
but... he doesn't find it.
he sighs.
"I'll look around again. DO NOT LEAVE . I WILL FIND YOU."
he warps away.
now was your chance to get out! yet... you feel inclined to stay. you don't want to leave-
stay??? why should you stay? HE KIDNAPPED YOU? why did you hang such a silly though+
*PING
a skeletal hand pulls at your soul TEARING it through the vessel.
"GOTCHA" he chuckled.
💔
GAME OVER.
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rachellaurengray · 11 months ago
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A Genius Guide to Decision-Making
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Are you tired of feeling stuck when making decisions? Whether it's choosing what to eat for dinner or making major life choices, indecisiveness can hold us back. Drawing from real-life experiences and insights, I put together this list to provide you will practical strategies to overcome indecisiveness and make confident decisions. Each tip offers a unique approach to decision-making, helping you navigate the complexities of choices with ease. From acknowledging uncertainty to trusting your intuition, these techniques will empower you to make informed decisions aligned with your goals and values.
Let's jump right in.
1. Admit It's Okay to Be Unsure: Acknowledge that uncertainty is a natural part of the decision-making process.
2. Know What's Important: Clarify your values and priorities to guide your decision-making.
3. Set Clear Goals: Define specific objectives to focus your decision-making efforts.
4. Get Info: Gather relevant information to make informed choices.
5. List Good and Bad: Evaluate the potential outcomes of each option by listing their advantages and disadvantages.
6. Trust Your Gut: Listen to your intuition and inner wisdom when making decisions.
7. Don't Overthink Options: Avoid getting stuck in analysis paralysis by trusting your initial instincts.
8. Practice Deciding: Build confidence in your decision-making abilities by making choices regularly.
9. Give Yourself a Deadline: Set a time limit to prevent procrastination and indecision.
10. Accept Mistakes Happen: Embrace the idea that mistakes are part of the learning process and don't let fear of failure hold you back.
11. Flip a Coin: Sometimes, a simple coin toss can reveal your true preference.
12. Talk It Out: Discussing your options with a trusted friend or family member can provide valuable insight.
13. Visualize Outcomes: Imagine each possible outcome of your decision to help clarify your thoughts.
14. Go for a Walk: Physical activity can clear your mind and make decision-making easier.
15. Use a Decision-Making App: There are apps designed to help you make decisions by weighing options.
16. Write It Down: Putting your thoughts on paper can organize your ideas and make the decision-making process clearer.
17. Consider Future Regret: Think about which decision you're more likely to regret not making in the future.
18. Create a Procrastination-Free Environment: Eliminate distractions to focus solely on the decision at hand.
19. Seek Inspiration: Look for stories or quotes from others who have faced similar decisions for motivation.
20. Trust in Divine Timing: Sometimes, waiting for the right moment to decide can lead to better outcomes.
This comprehensive list provides practical strategies for overcoming indecisiveness and making confident decisions in various situations.
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crystalelemental · 2 years ago
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Pokemon Team Characterization - Morty
Morty is Johtonian, so I like him well enough.  But I admit to always feeling a slight frustration at the fact they didn’t give him Misdreavus.  I dunno, I really loved Misdreavus when I first found it as a kid, and it bugged me that it wasn’t like...a thing you could know about in advance, given where it shows up and how infrequently.  But I digress.  Morty and his many, many Gengar-line Pokemon raise the question...can you develop characterization based on having only a single evolutionary line?
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Morty’s initial team is pretty identical between GSC and here.  The only major difference is Mimic on Haunters, and that Gengar has Dream Eater, which is...frankly way more dangerous.  But I think the core of it works the same.  And to that end, I’ll announce that honestly, I don’t think the discussion around lead and ace and others matters as much, because Morty has one element that’s very pervasive in this team: passive damage.
Three users of Curse, Night Shade, and Nightmare.  Morty is absolutely decked out with passive damage.  Hypnosis on two of his options, and paralysis on a third, also solidifies that Morty’s plan is to not take hits.  He’s going to attempt to deny your action, and chip away with that passive damage.  Only on his ace, Gengar, does he start to get direct in his damage, but not without Hypnosis as a fallback.
To me, this suggests a sense of uncertainty.  We know Morty’s primary goal is to meet Ho-oh.  That’s what he trains for, and what his whole life built up to.  And on his ace, we see he can get direct with its application.  But a lot of these Pokemon emphasize Curse.  Morty is willing to take risks for his ultimate aim.  He’ll give of himself and put himself out there when he needs to, but at the same time, he’s always backed by a sense of caution and self-preservation.  He has to have something to fall back on.
The inclusion of Dream Eater and Mean Look also suggests to me that Morty is someone with an awareness of what his dream means.  Ho-oh is one of a kind, at least within this game.  Mean Look, locking the opponent into their current matchup, is that refusal to let something get away.  He fixates and keeps his desire always in his sight.  Dream Eater suggests the sense that for him to get what he wants, it comes at the cost of what others may also seek.  He’s definitely not the only one after this, but if only one person can meet this Pokemon, he’ll make sure it’s him.
This leads into the rematch team, which can be faced after you acquire Ho-oh itself.  For the sake of analysis, we’re going to pretend like it is HeartGold we’re playing.
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The Lead Drifblim is an interesting lead on two fronts.  On the first, Substitute.  Once again we see Morty’s more cautious nature in play; he’s aiming for safety and security first and foremost.  Shadow Ball and Thunderbolt are generally solid coverage options.  Destiny Bond, however, is new.  In the initial team, Morty’s means of passively getting around anything was Curse and disruption.  Here, it’s an outright trade.  Even if you take me out, I’m definitely taking you with me.
I think that angle, that certainty, is what’s new.  Morty’s effectively lost his dream, and from here on, isn’t satisfied with things that aren’t certain.  Destiny Bond is a certainty.  It’s still risk.  It’s still self-sacrificial.  But it’s certain.
The Aces Morty has two Gengar.  One is identical to his lead, which doubles down on the same.  So we’re going to talk instead about the other one.
Morty has Hypnosis again, though little to capitalize on aside from raw offense.  Confuse Ray adds in another chance to bypass your action.  I think what’s interesting is that this one is uncertain.  It’s playing a bit riskier.
I think the two Gengars are a good reflection of Morty’s own indecision.  On the one hand, I think the unique Gengar is more in his nature.  Slow and steady, step by step, but take the chances you have to take.  Morty is willing to put himself out there in anything he does, and hasn’t really lost that sense of just going for something.  But the second Gengar shows that he’s growing more reserved about it.  He’s lost one gamble, and it was something he really put himself out there for.  So now he’s seeking a more assured sense of safety, and may be a little bitter.  Destiny Bond is a full takedown, after all.  It implies there’s a sense of “If I can’t, neither can you.”
The Midpoint (Mismagius) Mismagius feels like a blend between the two.  While it still aims for certainty through Perish Song, this is a lot more volatile because the player can just...switch out.  Mean Look addresses this problem, but it’s a little more involved.  Confuse Ray and Astonish can disrupt turns, but they’re not exactly certain to take effect.  Mismagius tows that line between wanting certainty, but having to take risks.
I think this is the general state of Morty.  He values putting in effort, rather than doing things the easy way.  I think the attempts at disrupting turns for Perish Song is also a potential indicator that Morty’s stalling in his own life too.  When a goal you’ve had is finished, for better or worse, the next step isn’t always obvious.  It takes time, it takes security to build up that confidence again.  I think Morty’s someone who’s at least very introspective.  He knows what he’s about, and when to take time for himself.  While it hurts to not be chosen, he’s someone who is able to take that in stride with time and keep himself going, once he finds a new direction.
Haste (Sableye) Outside of these, I think the most interesting member of the team is Sableye.  Fake Out and Sucker Punch are interesting choices, packing significant priority.  I think it’s worth noting, Sucker Punch exists on half his original team as well, so this isn’t new; this was always an aspect of Morty.
Sucker Punch in particular is sort of...underhanded in a way.  I think it suggests a sense of...wanting an easy way through.  Just cutting straight to where he’s aiming to go.  Morty takes things slow, he believes in that kind of progressive methodology.  But in some capacity, he seems to want things to move quicker; to be able to go at a faster pace in his own life.  He’s been training his whole life without any real results.  That would drive anyone to feel a little impatient.  Brick Break, that sense of breaking things down, may be more about breaking down the walls in front of him; the barriers he sees to his own progress.  I think in some ways, Morty may be the kind of person to get stuck on things.  He’s slow and methodical, but sometimes that approach gets you spinning your wheels with indecision, and you don’t quite know what to do to keep going forward.  Sableye, that representative of his drive, is about just taking initiative and breaking past those barriers; that spark he needs to get himself moving again.
Summation Morty is someone who is marked by being caught between two mentalities.  On the one hand, he appreciates the value of hard work, and is generally measured and careful in his approach.  He likes certain outcomes, and generally needs to keep things within his realm of control for comfort’s sake.  But on the other, he can grow impatient with the slower methodology, and sometimes snaps to impulsivity to get himself moving.  He can be bold and take dramatic chances, perhaps over-extending himself in the process.  But he’s pretty aware of his own mental state, able to read when it’s really time to back off of something and regroup.  When met with a painful outcome, he can take the time he needs to recover, and find a way to push forward in spite of setbacks.
If you have an alternate read on his team, I’d love to hear it.  Morty’s team having a lot of the same evolutionary line, even in his rematch, wasn’t something I fully expected, but honestly I think it’s interesting to piece together what it all means.
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alkaria · 2 years ago
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Something something relic of choice thoughts
Something about RWBY being a story of choices. A few people have picked up on Cinder being notable for being the only character who seems to specifically not make her own choices, despite being the Fall Maiden and thus the character associated most with the Relic of Choice.
Perhaps aside from Tyrian, who has the most chaotic and loosest of motivations, every villainous or antagonistic character has had moments of reflection/expression of their philosophy, of why they do what they do, and many have made the choice to actively turn away from it, to choose to do something better, to do what is right, not what is easy. Cordovin, Ilia, the Ace Ops, Hazel, Emerald, Whitley, Willow, the Faunus of Menagerie, Ozma.
Something about Cinder being the metaphorical daugher of Salem, and the inheritor of the powers specifically descended from her real daughters. The direct parallel of Ruby, the character most associated with Knowledge - the only two characters (besides, likely, Oz) to have used both the relics shown so far.
I know some people hate the idea of it, but the build up to Cinder���s potential heel-face turn, the Chekhov’s Gun that the Relic under Beacon was her relic, the Relic of Choice, the first Relic in the grand chess game, and yet the one now the least-discussed.
Ozpin made the Relic of Choice more difficult to find. Because he knows the burden of leadership greater, and the choices it entails? Because it more than any other relic scarred him as the Indecisive King?
Something about how each relic has a cost - knowledge at the cost of time, creativity at the cost of finitude, choice at the cost of paralysis, destruction at - well, that one, we’ve never been told, though I wager it will be destruction at the cost of self - the Grimm being destruction personified, the way the Grimm arm consumes more of Cinder’s body each time it is used, her hesitation, she wants power but is she willing to give everything? What is truly most important to her, and can she admit what that is to herself?
Unless the arc structure changes, we are almost certain to see the Sword before the Crown. Perhaps Cinder gives in to the Sword to claim the Crown, using its power to scatter what remains of Beacon until she digs down to the real Vault. Something about Cinder having the relics and using them, and Salem having them, and not. Salem chose Cinder as her vessel for the Maidens’ power - but irrevocably tied to that, Salem has made Cinder the master of the relics, not herself.
Cinder claiming the Crown, using it to see the truth about Salem just like how Ruby used to the lamp to learn the truth about Oz. The fact that all along, just as Salem has used Cinder, she has tried to use Salem in return (with mixed results). Will the woman who walks out of Beacon with the last Relic be a hero? A villain? A monster? Will she walk out at all, or is Cinder the Indecisive Queen, doomed by the revelation of choice, the ability to at last be more than a pawn?
She is willing to give herself away for power - but is she strong enough to choose the reverse? Will she give away power to again be herself, to choose her own path?
Central to RWBY, but less obviously stated, is the impact of choice. Grief and moving forward are a central tenet of the show, but this is always a choice. We can choose to stay mired in grief, or we can choose to move forward. Choice threads its way through every character arc, every pivotal moment is the choice of a character - to keep hoping, to do something different, to go for what is easy or to go for what is right.
And the Cinder-shaped hole in that narrative that becomes more visible every passing volume is, I think, critical to how the Vacuo arc will go. Eventually, we will see Cinder make a choice *for herself*. To pick not power or relics or maidens or gods or monsters, but to pick Cinder Fall, just like how the central turning point in the narrative of grief and hopelessness was how Ruby realised that she could pick herself in Volume 9.
And that will change everything.
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ofangelsanddevils · 18 days ago
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Illusion chapter 5 Voices
Scott shadowed Liana for a few yards, and then retreated like a punished dog with his tail between his legs. Liana was consumed with anger and guilt. She wanted to chase after him and repair the massive crack in their friendship, but she had to stick with her decision. If Scott chose to let people spread rumors about him then he was a fool, and she was silly for having lowered her defenses around him in the first place.
Preoccupied to the point of distraction, Liana completely missed the normal route home. She took the old path. She tended to avoid the street that May was killed on like it was the plague, though it meant a drastic detour. She was nearly to the spot where May had died when she started to pay attention to her surroundings again. Liana stopped short, and she could feel the sadness that she’d successfully avoided all day begin to congeal silently, and coldly around her like a heavy fog.
Liana had two choices, she could keep going and walk past the spot where May was killed, or she could turn around and backtrack to the other route. After a few minutes of indecision, she decided that she wanted to get home too badly. She could do this. She was breaking out of old routines today; kissing Quinn, opening up to Scott, sitting in different seats in class, not to mention telling the unbearably hot, but possibly creepy Scott to take a hike. If Liana could do all that, then she could most certainly walk home past the place where May had died.
First to distract herself, she turned her music up, and then Liana took a deep breath and started walking, and as long as she didn’t look directly at the spot where her sister had lain so silently and crumpled only a year ago, she found that she could do it. Keeping her eyes up and away was easy. She was past the spot, and almost to the place where she’d been standing last year when she heard the voice;
“DON'T LOOK BACK!”
Liana quickly turned off her music, maybe she’d imagined it, but she couldn’t be sure until there were no distractions. When her music was off, Liana heard the voice again. “Don’t look back!” She didn’t recognize the voice, and sought to determine who was speaking. There was no one around. Liana was worried and she inadvertently turned back to the spot where May had been killed.
What she saw shocked her; it was as if time had reversed. Liana was in her nightmare again. May was crying, oblivious to her surroundings. She tried to call to her sister, but Liana couldn’t make a sound. She was frozen, and she watched in horror as a white car turned the corner and headed straight for May.
“This can’t be happening! I can’t watch this again!” Liana screamed inside. She didn’t want to see this. Liana knew that she was awake, because she could feel the solid ground underneath her feet. She could see the sunlight glinting off the car, and she could feel the cool autumn breeze stirring against her skin. Then the voice said;
“Watch out for him!”
The car was almost upon May. Liana closed her eyes for a moment, she knew May was dead, and what she was seeing wasn’t real. She was hallucinating, but it was still too painful to watch. In her mind she knew none of it was real, but she still felt a need to save her sister.
Liana opened her eyes and she forced herself to breathe in and out, then she focused on moving her body. With great effort she suddenly broke free of her paralysis, and then ran toward May. The car got to her sister first. As the car came to the place where May was, her sister vanished but the car remained. It had come to a stop. Liana was still running towards the car. She yanked the driver’s side door open. Liana was going to kill him!
“Liana, what’s wrong? What is it? What happened, are you okay?” Scott asked with worry on his face. He was sitting in the driver’s seat. Liana stared down at the door handle that she was gripping tightly. The car wasn’t white. It was silver. It was the wrong car, and the wrong person. Why had the voice warned her? Had there actually been a voice?
Before Liana could ask her self any more questions, Scott was out of the car and was holding her in his arms. His warmth encircled her. Liana forgot that she’d been upset with him earlier, and let him hold her for a long time. He kept whispering that everything was going to be okay. After a while he pulled away from her, and stared down at her. Liana glanced up at him, he must be taller than she’d first thought, she hadn’t noticed until she was in his arms. Scott was probably more like six feet tall. He towered over Liana, but he didn’t make her feel small.
“Do you want to tell me why you had a look in your eyes like you were going to kill me?” Scott asked with concern. Liana wasn’t sure that she wanted to tell him, but the sincere concern in his voice finally convinced her;
“I’m not sure. I don’t know what happened. I was upset with you, and I wasn’t paying attention to the path I took home. I ended up here in the spot where May was killed. Then I thought I saw May, and then your car looked white, and I thought you were the driver that hit her.” Liana said in one big rush.
“And you were going to exact your revenge?” He responded, seeing the obvious resolution.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Liana replied slowly, realizing how absolutely foolish that must sound to Scott. She didn’t want to meet his eyes, so Liana kept her eyes on the ground. She felt utterly crazy.
Scott lifted her chin up gently until her eyes met his.
“Having seen the emotion on your face, I wouldn’t want to be that guy.” He said, with a lopsided smile. Liana relaxed when she realized that he wasn’t judging her. He let go of her chin, and then pulled her back in for another reassuring hug.
Liana smiled and snuggled into his arms, there was something about him that made her feel extremely safe. As he held her, she felt waves of peace and warmth wash over her. She could stay like that forever, soaking in his warmth. If, at that moment, he’d told her that he’d never hurt anyone, Liana would’ve believed him.
After a few minutes though, she realized that she was too comfortable in his arms. She extricated herself, despite the protests her body sent out at the idea of letting go of him. Liana blushed and then said with more composure than she felt;
“Well, I’d better get going. Umm…thanks for the hug, and thanks for not thinking I’m completely nuts.”
“Why don’t I drive you home?” Scott asked.
“You don’t need to do that, I live on the next block. It’s not far.” She replied.
“Well, I don’t think you should be walking, even if it's right around the corner. I know, perhaps we could get a bite to eat, if you like?” Scott offered. Liana must’ve appeared unsure because he added;
“Or, I could drive you home if you’d rather?” He said with a bit of reluctance.
After another moment, Liana decided that she would choose to spend time with Scott;
“You know, I could probably eat something.” Liana replied.
“Great, and while we’re at it, you can point out a few sights along the way. That’s if you don’t mind?” He added quickly, alarmed that he might’ve said something wrong.
“Sure, I guess I can do that.” Liana replied, grateful when she realized that by saying yes, she would be avoiding being alone with the grief that threatened to overwhelm her for a little while longer.
Scott walked with his arm around Liana’s waist to the passenger side of his car, and opened the door for her. He then helped her into the car. Liana smiled at his solicitude.
Then he walked around to his side and slid into his seat. Once he was settled behind the wheel he glanced over at her, and swallowed before he spoke;
Liana, I’m sorry that I didn’t help you with the books in the hallway. I should’ve come to your assistance. I’m new to this kind of stuff. I’ve never had to deal with girls before, or at least not on this level, and I guess I screwed up pretty badly. I was trying to go by the book and all that.” He said.
“What book?” Liana asked, curious that he was revealing something about himself.
Scott laughed. “Oh, it’s only a figure of speech. I meant that my aunt has set some rules for me, and I’m supposed to be following them. She’s trying to make sure that I don’t screw up again.” He sighed. He seemed embarrassed that he’d admitted that his aunt had him on a short leash.
“She’s got you following rules?” Liana said surprised.
“Yeah, lame, huh?” He half-smiled trying to hide his embarrassment.
“What kind of rules? I’m guessing they must be different than the run of the mill teen rules that the rest of us have to abide by?” Liana questioned, surprised that he was actually sharing things with her.
“She wanted me to avoid making friends. She said to make friends with you, because you were someone who would keep me out of trouble. She knows that your dad’s a teacher at the school, and that you’d tell him if I got into any trouble.” Scott grimaced.
“Okay, there's so much wrong with this. One; how does your aunt know anything about me? Who is she anyway? Two; how dare she think I’m going to rat out my friends like that? And three; are you saying that you’re only friends with me because you have to be?” Liana said, suddenly feeling hurt.
“NO! That’s not what I meant. I was going to follow her advice at first, but when I actually talked to you, I realized that you could be a true friend. She doesn’t want a repeat of what happened at my last school.” He said in a hurry, then he was horrified as he realized that he’d probably said way more than he meant to.
“A repeat of what happened at your last school! Did you turn into a stalker or something with some poor unsuspecting girl?” Liana gulped and eyed the door handle.
“Hold on, I can hardly keep up with all of your questions!” He grimaced. “First of all, my aunt only knows about you because of your dad. She doesn’t expect that you’ll “rat” out your friends, but she figures that someone whose dad is a teacher will report anything that gets out of hand.”
“Okay, I guess in a weird way that makes sense, but you still haven’t explained what happened at your last school.” Liana repeated, hoping that he would finally reveal something specific about himself. She felt that he was holding something back.
“I don’t want to talk about it. When I break the rules, bad things seem to happen, so I try to do what I’m told.” Scott frowned "I know my aunt is controlling, but I was trying to find someone else to be friends with besides you. I was testing the waters. I’ve tended to remain on the fringes, and I didn’t want to cause any problems for you.”
“This makes absolutely no sense!” Liana chimed in. “What're the rules that you're supposed to be following?”
His face closed off for a moment, and Liana was certain that he was about to stop sharing again. So she was surprised when he continued;
“There are a lot that I’d rather not tell you about but the ones that affect you are: Don’t get too attached to anyone. Don’t share too much personal information and don’t date.
He sighed, embarrassed at the rules. Liana noticed that he was nervously tapping his fingers on the gray leather steering wheel. She reached out to touch his hand, and offer support but he pulled his hand away.
“What happens when you break a rule? I mean what does your aunt do?” Liana said quickly to hide her hurt from his brusque behavior.
“Oh, she doesn’t do anything. It causes bad things to happen is all.”
“What sort of bad things?” Liana asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Scott frowned. Then he saw the deflated emotion on her face. "I’m already breaking rules by sharing this much with you! I can’t tell you anymore. If there’s ever a time when I can, I promise to tell you more. Do you think that we can still be friends?” He said as he glanced at the steering wheel of his car then back at her.
Liana wasn’t sure, until she stared into his warm eyes and saw that he was sincere about his desire to be her friend.
“It’s not that I don’t like you. I do. You’ve been strange all day, but now I guess I have a clue as to why. I know that you’ve had a hard time because you lost your parents so recently and….” Liana found herself trailing off when she saw his eyes. They were a hard steel. Yet she also saw a depth of pain behind his eyes that was so strong that she was afraid to say more.
Liana knew that emotion very well, she felt it often enough. She found that she couldn’t observe so much pain in someone else, so she shifted her eyes down to his hands. He had rested them on his thighs. She noticed that they were long and narrow, yet masculine in their aspect. She absent-mindedly found herself wondering how soft those hands might be were they to touch her skin. Liana wondered if they would radiate the same warmth that she’d felt coming off of him earlier, when he was holding her in his arms after the fright she’d had.
She found herself longing for the renewed warmth that his embrace would bring. She blushed at this and quickly checked to see if he'd noticed her distracted manner. He hadn’t. He was staring at his dashboard for a moment, and seemed to be making his mind up about something.
“As I said before, Liana, as soon as I’m able, I’ll tell you more about myself. I need you to remember that I’m not used to sharing, and I’m definitely not supposed to interact with people. I’m still not quite clear why my aunt modified the rules with regards to you. I mean she did say that she wants me to be your friend, so I guess it’s okay if I tell you some things. But I need you to understand that I still need to follow the rules as much as possible. I also need to make it clear that I only want to be friends, and that I’m not searching for any sort of relationship. I need you to respect my wishes, and trust me even if I don’t tell you everything.”
As he said this, Scott gazed into her eyes. She stared back into their opalescence and felt the spark of a mutual connection. She was suddenly aware of his closeness and the warmth that was simply radiating off of him like warm sunshine through a window. He was warm but aloof. Liana glanced down for a moment, and although she wasn’t used to lying, she felt that she had to in this situation. She knew that she’d already started to fall for him, and that she’d take every opportunity to be near him and find out more about him. She also hoped to elicit the same feelings from him someday.
She returned his gaze; “Yes, of course, anything that makes you feel more comfortable!”
When she knew that she couldn’t hold his gaze anymore without appearing guilty, she glanced away and asked him a question to change the subject;
“Nice ride, what kind of car is it?”
“It’s a 1969 Dodge Charger. My aunt gave it to me when I moved out here.” he said as he caressed the steering wheel. “I was surprised when she gave me the keys and insisted that I drive it.” He smiled. From the kindness in his voice it was obvious that he cared about his aunt even though he’d been irritated with her only moments before.
“So, where’re we headed? I don’t know of any good places to eat, so you’ll have to direct me.” Scott said as he started the engine. The ignition rolled over perfectly, and the engine began to hum.
“Well, we could go to Main Street and find a place to eat.” Liana
“Point the way!” he said, while rolling down his window to enjoy the slightly crisp fall breeze. They pulled away from the curb with a squeal of tires. Liana glanced back for a moment and thought she saw a shimmering image of May standing by the side of the road, but when she blinked it was gone. She turned to watch Scott in order to replace her sad thoughts with a vision of him. As she watched, the wind from the open window caught the loose hair that had fallen out of his ponytail and whipped it around, covering and uncovering his stunning face by turns.
She suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to run her fingers through his blonde hair. Liana had to clasp her hands together in her lap to keep from following through on her desire. She blushed at the thought of such an intimate gesture and was glad he was too busy driving to notice.
Liana directed him to Main Street, and because it wasn’t far away, they arrived rather quickly. He pulled onto Main Street and searched for a parking space.
“Wow! I had no idea that this place was so cool!” he said as he craned his neck around to gawk at all the shops that lined the street.
“That’s why I like this part of town.” Liana replied, with a smug smile, she was happy that she'd chosen it.
Scott parked the car, rolled up the windows and grabbed the keys from the ignition and slipped them into his pocket. Then they both got out and walked toward the restaurants.
Oakton’s Main Street had several antique shops, a used bookstore, a tiny French bakery, an old mom and pop pharmacy that still sold ice cream and fountain drinks, and several restaurants. The road itself was fairly narrow and had old fashioned street signs, along with wrought iron black lamp posts. There were living quarters above most of the shops, while trees and benches lined the street playing a game of leapfrog with each other. Visiting Oakton's Main Street was like stepping back in time.
Liana and Scott decided on the French bakery, and after eating a sandwich and a pastry each, they set out to explore. As they walked down the street Liana asked while looking up at Scott;
“Do you want to go into any of the stores?” Liana asked as she stared at Scott. She noticed a glow about his face and there was a light in his eyes that hadn’t been there during school. She found it appealing, and was tempted to kiss him in order to feel the energy that she was sure was coming off of him. As if he could read her thoughts, he surveyed her and the glow of happiness was replaced by wariness.
“Sure, which shop is your favorite, Liana?”
Liana felt guilty for having made Scott uncomfortable. She quickly turned away and pointed down the street.
“I like the pet store at the end of this block. I’m sort of friends with Em, the girl that works there.”
“Okay, let’s go.” Scott said as he reached for her hand. As he grabbed her hand she felt a thrill, one that was immediately doused by the remembrance of the terms of their friendship. Casual. It was not a relationship, and that’s the way he held her hand. Liana tried not to let it get her down, instead she focused on how it felt to hold his hand. His hands were strong, and they were incredibly soft as she’d imagined them to be. They were warm but he was barely holding her hand. It was like holding the hand of a wraith. Liana caught herself glancing down occasionally, to make sure that they were still holding hands.
The pet store was on the corner of one of the blocks and had a gigantic mural painted on the side of the building that faced the street. It was a mural of an ocean view with fish and a whale in the water along with the logo of the store. The front window housed a bunch of noisy parakeets. As they walked in the bell rang, and they were hit with the smell of bird food mixed with the scent of fish. It was humid in the store because of all the water that was evaporating from the fish tanks.
The shop was divided into two sections. There were some salt water fish tanks and fish supplies on either side of the aisle straight ahead, with reptiles and rodents at the back of the store. Off to the right of the main wall that ran down the middle of the store there was a bird room and then another room behind that contained more fish tanks. A female voice called out from behind one of the tall cages that was filled to capacity with canaries, finches and the like;
“I’ll be there in a moment. Feel free to browse.” Liana walked over to inspect the salt water fish, while Scott wandered down and into the back room where all the other fish tanks were. Liana was contemplating the vivid coloring of the clownfish when Em came up behind her.
“Boo!” Em shouted. Liana jumped and laughed. “You startled me!”
“Sorry, I spend all day in this store, and it gets pretty boring, so I try to make my own fun sometimes. How’ve you been? Want to clean out some rodent cages for me?” Em asked with a teasing tone in her voice.
“I’m pretty good, and no I don’t want to clean out cages. You know how I feel about rats.” Liana joked back. “I’m showing my friend Scott around.”
He walked back in from the fish room when he heard his name.
“Scott, this is my friend Em. Em this is Scott.”
They shook hands and said hello. Em immediately began flirting with him. This wasn't what Liana had been expecting, and the worst part was that Scott seemed to be enjoying it. Liana cursed herself for being so stupid. She should’ve known that something like this would happen. Em was petite, and had short straight hair that she was always dyeing. Her hair happened to be red at the moment, but she’d had every color of the rainbow at one time or another.
She had a bit of an elfish appearance to her, a small nose and green eyes. She was the kind of girl that most guys found appealing, including Scott apparently. ‘Well, so much for my chances of ever being more than friends with him.’ Liana thought. She began to wonder why he seemed right at home talking to Em. Hadn’t he just said that he didn’t want a relationship? Maybe, he’d only meant that he didn’t want a relationship with Liana.
Liana watched helplessly as Em gave Scott a tour of the store, and told him about the different animals, all while finding chances to touch him on the arm, or lean in close to him. Liana hovered in the background and watched Scott's reactions. He didn't seem to mind the attention he was getting from Em.
Liana felt hurt, apparently “the rules” that he was supposed to be following didn’t apply in this situation. Liana found her jealousy rising like mercury in a thermometer on a hot summer day. She decided that she should leave, rather than continue to be the unwanted third wheel.
Once outside, Liana took a painful, burning breath. It was amazing to her how fast Scott had managed to work his way into her heart, and weave his way through her mind. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was in love with him. What she didn’t know was how to put a stop to this unfortunate turn of events.
She started to walk down the sidewalk toward Scott’s car. She wasn’t paying attention to anything around her as she simply wanted to get as far away as possible from the pet store, and the ridiculously heartbreaking spectacle that was occurring inside.
Liana felt sorry for herself, and she wasn’t paying attention when she started to cross the road. Suddenly a car that hadn’t been there before was about to hit her. She felt herself being tugged backwards roughly by someone. She turned around to see Scott holding onto the scruff of her hoodie with anger on his face.
“Why don’t you pay attention to where you’re going? You could’ve been seriously injured or killed, Liana!” He yelled.
“Sorry, I was preoccupied, thanks for saving me.” She said stiffly.
“And another thing,” Scott wasn’t done yet, “why didn’t you tell me that you were leaving the store? Don’t you think I would’ve wanted to get out of there too? That girl was driving me crazy!”
Liana tried not to appear smug when she replied; “Sorry, I assumed that you were enjoying her company. I guess I’m not as good at reading people as I thought.”
“No, I don’t like her, if that’s what you were thinking.” He said his tone full of irritation.
Liana knew better than to bring it up but she had to say it;
“I thought you weren’t good at talking to girls, but you seemed to be doing quite well with her.”
“I did say that. I follow the rules, and when I follow the rules, I’ve always managed to avoid situations like that.” Scott sighed.
Liana smirked before she replied “And why would you care about that. You seemed to enjoy flirting with Em.”
Scott reluctantly answered. “You've got it wrong. I wasn’t flirting. She only wanted one thing from me.”
“Oh? And what was that?” Liana asked, though she already knew the answer.
“You’re a smart girl, Liana. I’m sure you can figure it out. I daresay it’s the same thing that you want.” Scott said with an emotion that bordered on disgust.
“It sounds like you know more about relationships than you let on. Like maybe you’ve had girlfriends before.” Liana countered with anger threading through her voice.
Scott flinched, as if he’d been slapped. “I follow the rules. I don’t have girlfriends and I don’t date.” He said, offended that Liana would even suggest such a thing. “So, what’re you going to show me next? Any more desperate girls you want me to meet?” He threw back, staring down at her as if he could read her mind and knew her budding desire for him.
Liana decided that the conversation was getting way too uncomfortable, and she needed to deflect his attention away from her.
“No. I’m sorry. I could’ve predicted that would happen. I think I need to get home. I still have homework to do.” Liana sighed.
“That sounds good to me. At least you’re showing some common sense now.” Scott replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She challenged, arguing with him.
“Well, you know, that’s your problem, if you don’t mind me saying so.” Scott said in reply.
“What’s my problem?” Liana asked, offended at his tone.
“Your problem is the fact that you don’t pay attention to anything that’s going on around you. You don’t show any concern for yourself, or for others.” He sighed and ran his fingers through his loose hair in a show of exasperation.
“Like what?” Liana demanded.
“Well, almost getting run over by a car stands out among other things. Another would be leaving me with that girl and, I might add, thinking that that’s where I wanted to be.” Scott grumbled.
“Maybe,” Liana acknowledged, feeling her anger at Scott spike once again. “I guess neither of us does well at certain things. You don’t know how to do anything but follow rules, and I don’t know how to deal with rude people!”
“Then we make bizarre friends.” He said with a laugh, totally ignoring her spiteful statement.
Then a quiet voice spoke again; “Don’t trust him!” Liana turned her head to see who was speaking. There was no one on the sidewalk near them.
The voice was the same one that she’d heard right before she’d seen the vision of May earlier. After she’d heard it the first time she’d been so distracted by everything else that had happened, that she hadn't given it any more thought. Now she was worried. It was frightening to hear a disembodied voice. Liana wished that she knew where it was coming from.
She glanced at Scott to see if he showed any signs of having heard the voice. He seemed completely unaware of it. She hadn’t thought much about the voice. Was she going crazy? Suddenly she felt sick. Worry furrowed her brow, and Scott changed his mocking tone to one of concern.
“Are you okay? You're pale.” Scott said in a solicitous manner.
“No, I’m not feeling very well all of a sudden.” She replied.
“I think I’d better take you home. I have to grab something from my house first, if you don’t mind. Unless, you’d rather I take you straight home?” He asked with solicitude.
“No, that’s fine. We can stop by your place first.” Liana said.
Liana watched him open the passenger door of his car for her. She slid past him and into the seat. Was it simply her imagination or was he emanating more heat than before? It was more likely that she was merely feeling a bit feverish. He got into the driver’s seat, and pulled the car out and headed north.
“Do you mind if I turn on the radio?” He asked.
“No, that’s fine.” Liana replied. He reached over and flipped the switch. A love ballad blasted out, and he hurried to turn the volume down.
Liana focused on the music and closed her eyes to avoid watching him, and also to prevent herself from seeing the buildings floating by which was making her car sick. All she wanted to do was either fold herself into Scott's arms, or lie in bed. And she knew she wouldn't be allowed the first option due to Scott's stupid rules!
Before she knew it they'd stopped in front of his house, and she opened her eyes. Liana was confused. She turned to him, as he switched off the ignition.
“Um…something’s wrong. You can’t possibly live here.” To her astonishment and confusion, Liana found that she was parked in front of her grief counselor's house.
“This is the right place.” Scott said while avoiding her gaze.
“That’s not possible! Unless... your aunt is Doc Liz?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact she is, well she’s not my aunt. She’s an old high school friend of my mother's. I meant to tell you sooner, but it never came up. I….” Scott continued on but Liana had stopped listening. Suddenly the whole day was crystal clear. She was no longer sick, she was upset, and in her anger she connected several things;
“You’re a spy!” She yelled at Scott. “No wonder your aunt told you to be friends with me!” In some weird way it made complete sense to Liana. Doc Liz couldn’t get her to come back to therapy, so she’d sent Scott to find out how she was doing.
“How dare you pretend to be my friend so you could do your aunt’s dirty work? You want to hang out with me because I’m your project!” Liana was furious.
Scott gathered himself together and tried to explain;
“No, it’s not like that. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner that my aunt was your counselor but I didn’t want you to close yourself off to me. I figured you needed to talk, and I wanted to listen. I wasn’t going to tell her anything that you told me.” Scott pleaded. Liana could see from his eyes that he was being honest.
“She didn’t send you to be my friend?” She questioned.
“No…I mean, well she did tell me to be your friend, remember that whole rule thing, if that’s what you’re asking. But I have a choice in this too. I didn’t have to be your friend. I wanted to be your friend.” Scott said with all the sincerity that he could muster.
Her instincts told her that he was holding something back, but she had no idea what it could be.
“And your parents, did they die recently?” She questioned. He shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat when she asked that.
“Well, they did die but I can’t talk about it.” Scott said shaking his head.
“Can’t, or won’t is more like it!” Liana said, anger turning her face red. “How long ago did they die? Can you at least tell me that?”
“Does it matter when they died?” He asked his voice full of wrath. ”Does it make a difference whether they died years ago or last month? Or do you think that you're the only one allowed to grieve?”
Part of her knew that he might be right but, like a cat with her prey, she wasn’t letting go; “I heard from some girls at school that they only died a little while ago. Did you spread that rumor so people would feel sorry for you? Did they even die? I bet they sent you away because of your behavior. What the hell did you do to have so many people treating you like you have the plague?”
Liana was being cruel and she knew it, but she couldn’t help herself, she was hurt by the fact that he hadn’t told her about his aunt.
Scott's eyes were bubbling with an angry liquid blue metal color. “How is it you’re the only one who’s allowed to feel hurt or sorrow, Liana? Do you honestly think I don’t remember my family, and the life I had before they died? Not to mention the pain that it caused me to lose them? You’re too caught up in your own hurt to be aware of other people and how they feel. You’re selfish to assume that you’re the only one that’s ever had a bad time!” With that Scott turned the key in the ignition, and started driving her towards her home.
She knew with a sinking feeling that he was right, but how could she apologize when he was so angry, and she'd said the wrong thing. First she’d assumed that he knew her pain as she talked to him at school, and then she’d discounted his pain the moment she’d become aware that Doc Liz was his aunt. The worst part was that she’d accused him of lying about the deaths of his parents.
He’d probably never want to spend time with her again. Any hope that she had for a potential relationship with Scott had evaporated. She watched him with sadness and a real sense of distance, as he gripped the steering wheel tightly on the drive to her house.
At one point she tried to say something, but he silenced her efforts by turning the radio up, and the song lyrics were a horrible reminder of how wicked she’d been. It's lyrics were ones of hurt and betrayal.
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How Decision Pulse Can Improve Your Leadership Skills
Introduction
In today’s fast-paced business environment, making informed and timely decisions is a crucial skill for any leader. Decision Pulse, an innovative leadership tool, helps executives, managers, and business owners enhance their decision-making process. By providing real-time insights, structured analysis, and actionable strategies, Decision Pulse ensures that leaders are equipped to make the best choices for their teams and organizations. At OfficeSolution, we understand the importance of strong leadership, and in this blog, we’ll explore how Decision Pulse can elevate your leadership skills.
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alitcis · 2 months ago
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What Is FOBO? Understanding This Growing Issue and How It Affects Your Life
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Introduction: FOMO vs FOBO – What’s the Difference?
By now, most of us have heard the term FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), which refers to the anxiety you feel when you think others are having more fun, achieving more, or living a better life than you. It’s the kind of pressure that drives social media posts, the desire to keep up with the latest trends, and the sense that if you're not doing something exciting, you're missing out. But have you ever heard of FOBO? It’s not as popular, but it’s just as real—and it might be affecting your life more than you think. FOBO stands for the Fear of Better Options, and it can paralyze you in the same way FOMO does, but with a twist. Instead of fearing what you might be missing, FOBO keeps you stuck in a cycle of overthinking decisions because you’re worried that there’s always a better choice out there. So, what exactly is FOBO, how do you spot it, and more importantly—how do you deal with it? Let’s explore. What Is FOBO? A Closer Look FOBO is a modern-day problem fueled by the sheer number of options available to us in almost every area of life. Whether it's choosing a restaurant, selecting a new phone, or deciding on a career path, we often get overwhelmed by the fear that there’s always a “better” choice we haven’t found yet. This constant search for perfection can lead to decision paralysis. In simple terms, FOBO is like shopping for a new pair of shoes. You find a pair you like, but then you think, "What if there’s an even better pair out there?" And so, you keep looking. Hours go by, and you end up not buying anything at all. That’s FOBO at work. How Does FOBO Show Up in Your Life? You might be wondering if FOBO is affecting you. Here are some signs to watch out for: 1. Constant Overthinking If you find yourself agonizing over small decisions like what to eat, what movie to watch, or which workout to choose, FOBO might be in play. You become so consumed by making the “best” choice that it stops you from making any choice at all. 2. Indecision and Delays Ever been unable to pick a holiday destination because you’re afraid there’s a better place out there? Or perhaps you put off buying a new laptop because you're convinced there’s one just around the corner that’s more advanced. That’s the classic pattern of FOBO—delaying decisions due to fear of missing out on the better option. 3. Fear of Commitment When you’re stuck in FOBO, committing to a decision feels like a huge risk. Whether it’s choosing a job offer, signing a contract, or making a life decision, the idea that there might be something better waiting for you can leave you second-guessing everything. 4. Perfectionism Perfectionism and FOBO often go hand-in-hand. If you’re always searching for the “perfect” solution or decision, you might struggle with FOBO. You become fixated on finding the best possible choice, which often results in inaction. The Psychology Behind FOBO: Why Does It Happen? So, why are we so afraid of better options? It boils down to a mix of modern psychology and the way our brains are wired to fear loss. - The Paradox of Choice In a world with infinite options—whether for products, experiences, or people—the paradox of choice comes into play. The more choices we have, the harder it is to pick one, because we fear regret. FOBO thrives in environments where decision fatigue is high. - Fear of Regret Humans are wired to avoid regret. When we make decisions, especially big ones, we want to be sure they’re the right ones. This fear can prevent us from taking action or cause us to endlessly search for a “better” choice that doesn’t exist. - Social Comparison Social media often amplifies FOBO, as we’re constantly exposed to others�� lives. This creates a feeling that there’s always something better, something “more” that we could be experiencing. This comparison leads to dissatisfaction with our current choices. FOMO vs FOBO: What's the Real Difference? You’ve probably heard of FOMO, but what makes FOBO different? Let’s break it down: - FOMO (Fear of Missing Out): This is the fear that others are living a more exciting, fulfilling, or successful life, leading you to compare yourself to them. - FOBO (Fear of Better Options): This is the fear that there is always a better choice, leading you to hesitate or avoid making decisions altogether. While FOMO focuses on missing out on social experiences or opportunities, FOBO is more about being paralyzed by the endless search for a “perfect” decision, whether it’s personal or professional. How to Overcome FOBO: Practical Tips for Tackling Decision Paralysis FOBO might feel overwhelming, but the good news is, you can take steps to overcome it. Here are some actionable strategies: 1. Limit Your Options One of the most effective ways to deal with FOBO is to limit your choices. The more options you have, the more overwhelming it becomes. Narrowing down your choices to 3-5 solid options can help you make a decision faster and with less stress. 2. Trust Your Gut Often, your initial instinct is the right one. If you’re stuck in a cycle of overthinking, try to trust your gut and go with your first choice. It’s important to remind yourself that there’s rarely a perfect decision, just a “good enough” one. 3. Set a Time Limit If you’re feeling stuck in indecision, set a deadline for your decision-making process. This helps you avoid endless procrastination and forces you to act. A time limit adds urgency and prevents you from overanalyzing every detail. 4. Accept Imperfection Perfectionism fuels FOBO. Embrace the idea that not every decision will be perfect, and that’s okay. Life is about learning, growing, and adjusting as you go. Making mistakes is part of the process. 5. Get Feedback Sometimes, getting input from friends, family, or coworkers can help you move forward. Often, we get caught in our own thoughts, and an outside perspective can shed light on the best option for you. Final Thoughts: FOBO Doesn’t Have to Control You FOBO may be a modern challenge, but it’s not unbeatable. With a few strategies in place, you can take control of your decision-making process and move away from the constant worry of choosing the “best” option. So, next time you’re stuck deciding between two equally great restaurants, remember: the “perfect” choice doesn’t exist. Sometimes, the best decision is just to pick one and enjoy the experience. What’s your biggest struggle when making decisions? Do you think you’ve been affected by FOBO? Let’s talk about it in the comments below! Read the full article
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