#the idea of people actually taking orders from a puppet is funny as fuck

[t4tails]

what's your thoughts on characterisations where all the rogues are just mob bosses with gimmicks? ofc it's standard characterisation for like...penguin or twoface but if it's all of them it feels kinda monotonous? like why's idk calendar man or freeze running gun operations like the mob they should rob places and then do weird supervillain crimes with the money for like rogues biodiversity

i think it works for joker, two-face, penguin, riddler but in the way where he treats the mob like an unimportant but necessary for funds side hustle, and then i can see it at some extent for post-breakup harley (though ive only ever seen that done in the arkham games), but everybody else should be committing hyper specific crimes ONLY. mr freeze shouldnt be moving guns he should be trying to bury gotham square in a never ending blizzard for some deeply convoluted wife related reason

[confectionscary]

The marx headcannon list

Some stuff might be inaccurate because I’m not privy to every deep cut piece of Kirby trivia but I tried my best to stay in character while also kinda projecting what I personally wish the kirby series would do with its characterization more

Where Kirby is like ambiguously baby / toddler / little kid aged Marx is like 8-10 years old age range wise because I always liked the idea of him being like an emotionally immature older brother figure

Born / orphaned and given to the circus, spent all his young life learning about the art of clowning and more recently, magic, which he’s taken very well to from innate ability

Marx really is a fuck around and find out kinda kid and he found out badly you don’t fuck with pinkie

He likes to come across like food bribes are the only thing keeping him from being naughty because it benefits him with free food but he honestly did wanna save the universe from the jambasadors cause he wouldn’t be able to play if they destroyed everything : (

Kirby was under the impression he was the same species as him when they first met but in reality under Marx’s hat there are probably a set of animal ears or something to indicate they just coincidentally look similar but are different species entirely. Kirby feels downtrodden at this because he feels pretty alone in the universe. Marx doesn’t get it

Marx saw Kirby as just kinda a sucker at first he could use to punk later (“like taking candy from a baby!”) but after the events of Super star he respected him as a fighter, another reason he doesn’t betray kirby in star ally’s, cause he knows Kirby would just beat his ass again

Now he sees Kirby as kinda like a funny little brother to juggle like a ball sometimes

When given the power to take over pop star / while in the form of marx soul specifically, he actually doesn’t remember much of that and implies it actually kinda scares him how he was like driven only by instinct to harm and kill

Now don’t get me wrong he is usually driven by instinct to do trouble to begin with but he prefers to be fully conscious and aware of his actions when they happen and (probably) not a puppet for a darker force

Actually a very astute master of magic, specifically seeking out forbidden magics to use (like his special black hole attack). desire for these powers could’ve lead to his inevitable plan to take over pop star

He’s a very greedy team member wanting to take a lot of food and blankets and other amenities with the claim he’s the one pulling the most weight so he deserves the best stuff, but usually he’ll back off if Kirby just bops him on the head

Sometimes does work at circuses but really prefers to be an independently hired clown for parties and such because he’s too stubborn and mischievous to take orders from a ringmaster

He claims he’s just an agent of chaos who does what he wants, but he IS kind of secretly taking to the idea of being a hero more recently if only because he likes the praise and rewards.

However this can also change on the dime and Kirby just sighs and concludes internally he’s a work in progress

Doesn’t feel regret to the same degree as say, Magolor did for his actions, probably because he doesn’t feel as much empathy + is just a kid. If anyone knows about what he did and confronts him about it, he’s just like basically that anime girl going “Eto…..BLEEEEH” gif and proceeds to do a very bullshit “i sowwy 🥺” apology

His favorite non kirby teammates to work with are gooey and the squeak squad because one is just a funny little guy and the other is just CRIME TIME CRIME TIME!!!

His least favorite teammates to work with are metaknignt and bandana Dee because they’re both lawful good-ish and boring

He likes to receive gifts as tokens of affection but his methods of showing affection are spending time with people he likes, specifically he likes to bond with kirby by dragging him into preforming with him and maybe playing pranks on others

[rokramble]

Counterpart's Conundrum - a kinda Dark Links meet AU, with bonding, attempted murder, shenanigans and Ravio :D

Or a time traveling nightmare camping trip that Ravio was accidentally invited to, and now everyone has feelings and gets to learn about morals and personhood or some shit. It's very funny to me, so expect the vibes to be closer to a crackfic taken seriously right now.

Also I added totk fake Zelda, because that idea was also very funny to me. <3 I'll put a few details below.

I only chose dark links/shadow links we fight in the games, so there's no SkSw, BotW, MC, WW, or even TP darks (i'm sorry TP). What we DO have are:

Dink - OoT. his name makes him sooo mad, but it grows on him Malachite (aka Mal) - ALttP/FS Azurite - ALttP/FS Garnet - ALttP/FS Amethyst (aka Grimace) - ALttP/FS. yeah there's 4 of them, they're feral Dave - OoA. his placeholder name got stuck </3 he's silly like that, also an annoyance Shade - ALBW+TFH. knows politeness and manners, has decided they're optional, he is down to fight at all times Guard - TAoL. his morals are your morals your majesty ^_^ Gray - FSA. heavily based on the manga. still figuring out feelings Onyx - ST. he's like if a soot sprite from totoro had no fear and could maim you Summon - HW. he is such a violent, angry person but the devotion is insane + Delta (aka Marionette/Mari) - TotK phantom puppet. almost had matching names with Dink, but the guys respect/love her aura of bloodlust way too much for that. + Ravio - ALBW. he's not even slightly evil, did not get himself into this situation and is having a very hard time getting himself out.

The 'how' of their meeting is something or other—some residue of Ganon or Demise's influence, like grease on the timeline if you will—got the brilliant idea of recreating and gathering dark reflections of the hero from previous plots. It misunderstood who Ravio was since Lorule is/was a 'dark world', and thought Delta deserved the chance to actually attack people.

It then used whatever power left to give them an item for time travel. But the ganon grease didn't secure the full group's loyalty, so now they've been let loose on the timelines to track down and kill the Links their own way, without order, with only Ravio and Gray to stop them.

At first it was just about keeping the peace and biding time to escape or take the group out, but after seeing some of them learn and change Ravio is attached and Gray kinda wants to show them the world. It's really a conundrum.

To end it off (I'll probably make even more detailed posts another time), some funnies that came about in the planning stages of this:

Ravio: *accidentally found families your evil doppelgangers*

Delta: what do you have there? Ravio, drink in hand, trying to hide a Link behind him: an evil root beer

Gray, back in his time, kicking Link's door open: LINK HOLY FUCK

Gray: if i had a rupee for every time a violet boy lied to gain my trust and double-crossed me i'd have two rupees. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

Gray: what is it with violet bitches and going undercover?! Ravio: I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE

Mal: this is my emotional support cold bastard Azurite: this is my emotional support slippery bastard

Shade: you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up Dave, signing: you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid

Onyx: (⓿_⓿) Onyx: (◕_◕) Onyx: (◉_◉) Summon: stop Onyx: (ㆆ_ㆆ)

Mal: what do you have?! Dink: A BOMB Mal, Ravio and Shade: NO! Azurite: oh my darkness why does he have a bomb? (Gray did it)

Dink, young adult: i'm having a midlife crisis Gray: aren't you like, five? Dink, young adult?: i'm eleven so shut the fuck up

Delta, referring to the darks: my henchmen

"Wow these people are so weird, thank Ganon I'm the only normal one" - pretty much all of them

[henriiiii-1001old]

future me here: this is so long so if you dont wanna read it all then just please trust me that it is so puppet in every single fucking way omg-

gonna put everything under a keep reading now too bc its. so long CFVGBHN

okokokokokokokok so lemme put the translated lyrics so you guys can like. understand where i'm coming from (i ofc had to read them too LMAO im not fluent xddd)

the first few lines are just. IMMEDIATELY screaming puppet to me, growing up in a different environment (basically being raised by alternates) and "likes and dislikes" being reversed and all that.

the next thing that hit was the bridge. like it's him actually meeting ruth and talking to her for the first time. he's "confused" by actually trying to talk to someone thatcher knows while disguising as thatcher, but at the same time it feels nice "being normal".

first chorus would be him first thinking that he has some sort of weird "crush" on ruth but later he realizes that he actually "want[s] to love [ruth] unbearably" to act more human.

and the whole concept of not wanting "normal" love, possibly hinting at wanting an unhealthy relationship of some sort. in puppet's case, it would be more of him wanting control, and it would start with ruth.

(note, the black out word had 1) an incorrect translation i noticed and 2) a. a not too positive word in today's context so im just censoring it just in case at this point)

second verse now, and the lines about dancing and playing music seem like it would connect to his like. like it would be him adjusting to be more like other humans, learning dances, listening to music, maybe learning a few instruments along the way!

however, things probably start going sour as puppet reveals himself anyway to ruth and ultimately technically failed his mission. he should have "watched dramas and prepared for it", with "it" being human interaction specifically with people thatcher actually knows.

also funny thing that belladonna can mean both "beautiful lady" as well as the plant of nightshade. "giv[ing] belladonna to the person i like" could be some sort of metaphor for M.A.D. in this context.

i also hc that ruth actually planted nightshade in her yard as a weird precaution in case nightshade berries/leaves could work against alternates. yeah i looked it up and apparently it's illegal to do that, but it's fucking mandela county no one fucking cares LMAO

anyways, symptoms of belladonnas are (according to medliveplus.gov) "blurred vision, fever, fast heartbeat, inability to urinate or sweat, hallucinations, spasms, mental problems, convulsions, coma, and others." who knows? maybe ruth got a bit too cocky and tried to fool puppet and he ended up fooling her instead, causing her to fall sick and for him to have to take care of her? cool concept huh :) <- totally not giving xem ideas

i also just like the mention of hyde from "the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde" it's genuinely such a good fucking story man. i just think it's neat <3

it does kinda relate to how puppet is sometimes going around and fuckign with people as thatcher, but it's kinda the opposite of the short story's case. in the book, jekyll uses basically a fake identity w a potion to change his appearance in order to not put blame on him, but puppet wants to blame thatcher for his actions (though he honestly isn't the biggest fan of people taking credit for his "work", but he'll let it slide if it's to slander thatcher <3). idk, just smth to think abt :0

ok now onto the "octopus hold" that i corrected: it's wrestling move!! if you look it up, it does honestly look like the person is like. an octopus LMAO. its funny tho how octopi have 8 tentacles and spider have 8 legs :) i do think it could also been seen as him trying to have a sort of strong grip on those he wants to keep close, specifically with ruth here.

chorus is almost the same except it talks abt how you can't buy love with money. probably tries to buy it with manipulating his peers </3

(i forgot a fucking line at the bottom, but it's just "i am living freely" as the last line of the song after "i will live because of you". i'll analyze this later i prommy)

this last fucking part. O U G H

puppet is kind of an outcast compared to everyone else, but only later bc he doesn't reveal his true intentions w humanity until later on in the story. he becomes an outcast after ruth escapes because even those he called his friends (specifically the paranoia squad) are now turning on him.

the rhetorical question of "everyone is free, right?" just feels like he'd ask himself that and question his own humanity (if he even had any in the first place bc he barely got any LMAO) as well as how moral it would really be if he, a nonhuman, just started killing people. he will "live freely" regardless of "those who reject [him]."

the last chorus is the exact same except for the end, and i LOVE IT!!!!!!!

specifically with the lines "i will live because of you" and "i am living freely"- as opposed to all the other times the line was sung, where it was "i will live freely" in which it sounds more like a promise (and it definitely seems to have been kept at the end ;) )- it just. AUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

the "i will live because of you" is definitely something he says after ruth either escape or smth he says after a specific event i havent actually fully revealed yet. it's just such a hm line <333

AND THE "I AM LIVING FREELY" LINE!!!!! HE'S FREE OF GABRIEL'S CONTROL BUT LIKE. THERE IS CLEARLY SOMETHING THAT HINTS THAT SOMETHING IS NOT GOOD ABT THAT AND AUGH <333333

ITS ALL PUPPET I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!

anyways if you made it this far omg tysm for reading my insanity <333333

GUYS

GUYS

GUYS I

IM GOING INSANE OVER SYUDOU'S NEW SONG (アタシ) AND HOW IT SO FUCKING PERFECTLY IS PUPPET OMG

THE SONG IS ALSO INCREDIBLY GOOD PLEASE GO LISTEN TO IT

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

The Part-Time Puppeteer - Chapter 06

<= Chapter 5

Summary : Lukas gets to have a heart-to-heart discussion with an absolute asshole. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828971/chapters/81015496

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AAAAH I'M SORRY FOR THE TWO MONTHS HIATUS I HAD A WRITER BLOCK---

Anyway uuuh, new chapter, I have no idea if it's good or not but still, here it is. I did my best to offer you a longer chapter as a compensation, it's twice the length of the last one.

Happy reading ! Thank you for waiting all this time.

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Chapter 6 - “Oh. It’s you.”

The rest of the day had been… Quite blurry for the student. After coming back home, he had sat down at his desk, staring into space for… Minutes, hours, he hadn’t been able to tell. It was an understatement to say that he was in shock after what had happened. Even after everything, his mind couldn’t help but think this was just a joke, or that he had imagined the whole thing. But the script in his bag was a proof of the contrary. For a good while, the young man hadn’t found the courage to look back at it, as if it were some sort of cursed object, haunting him. But then, the Conductor’s words came back to him: “learn your text by tomorrow”. An order, a clear one, coming from one of his bosses. The student shivered as he remembered, soon bringing his hands to his face, massaging his closed, tired eyes. Oh, boy, why did he always get in that kind of situation… Even when he was a kid, he would often get dragged in things like this. He had thought this would get better as he grew up, but noooo, of fucking course it wouldn’t. Lukas let out a loud, long, exaggerated sigh, and stood up. He walked to his sofa bed all while dragging his feet and, once he was in front of it, it was like what was left of his energy left him. What a day . With another sigh, the student felt his body fall forward, and it wasn’t long before his face hit one of his pillows. Air was forced out of his lungs by the impact, though he did nothing but grunt in the fabric. Him? An actor? This couldn’t be right, this just… It wasn’t right. Sure, MJ was a jerk, but he still had the skills and the experience! In comparison, Lukas was just a law student- not a bad one, mind you, which only made it even more surprising to see him getting the role. It wasn’t like he had chosen the wrong scholar path, no, on the contrary, he was skilled in his major. But apparently, his bosses had seen something else deep inside that walking shell of anxiety… -“Uuuuugh...” his voice was low and tired. For a moment, he thought he was almost going to fall asleep like this, still wearing his clothes, but he reluctantly sat down. With a look full of weariness and unwillingness, the student’s attention went back to his bag, in which the script was. He didn’t want to learn the lines, and a single glance at his desk full of homework was a good way to understand why. But it seemed like his paycheck was now depending on it, as much as he would have preferred to remain a stagehand… -“Guess I don’t have a choice…” he mumbled, before moving his foot to reach for the bag, making it slide towards him, so he could open it. He supposed that he would be able to scribble down the answers to his homework during his lunch break… Or, at least, he hoped. And so, the young man spent the next two hours learning his lines, saying them out loud, so he could remember them. A good thing about his brain was that it learned pretty well from words and sounds. Thus, by saying them out loud, Lukas was pretty efficient in remembering them. Plus, truth to be told, those lines weren’t exactly as hard to learn as his law books… Not that it was a bad thing, far from it. At least, it made his job far easier. However, he wasn’t going to lie, there were a few parts that were harder to remember. Once he was done, the student hesitated on whether he should go to sleep (the reasonable option) or try to get some of his homework done. Sure, he was pretty tired, and the day had been filled by a lot of diverse emotions… But part of him knew he just wouldn’t be able to fall asleep knowing what awaited him the day after. He had always been very anxious, this was a secret to no one, and especially not himself… However, this whole thing was very new, and it made it all worse. And so… The student ended up staying up late until three in the morning, managing to get most of his homework done. One of the perks of being good at a subject was being fast. Of course, this would have given him much better results if he had worked on it seriously, without all the tiredness and all, but the context wasn’t really allowing him that.

Thus, Lukas packed up his college stuff for the next day and soon went to sleep for one very short night. Oh, well, not his first, far from it. Thankfully, he had a few sleeping meds he had kept from an old treatment, allowing him to fall asleep rather quick. However, this always came at a price- they made waking up a much more difficult moment, as his body was still very much under the influence of the medicine when that happened. And the next morning… Was no exception, especially since he only got to sleep for less than three hours. Fighting the urge to go back to sleep, Lukas managed to get up and prepare himself for college. New clothes, brushing his hair and teeth… It only took him a moment until he was ready to leave his small apartment. Oh, his face, however… It looked like it belonged to a rotten corpse, who had just come back to life… Somewhat. The trip to college was pretty ordinary, and so was his morning and afternoon, actually. He gave his teachers all the papers that were due, he aced one of his oral presentation despite looking like a dead man… No, really, this day was going well, which was surprising considering he was mostly surviving thanks to coffee and to the fear of collapsing in public. Yeah, no, he didn’t want any attention on him… Which was a funny thing to think about, because this was exactly what he was going to get with his new job! Once his classes were over, Lukas took the bus to his workplace, dread settling on his shoulders, heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. Oh, he didn’t want to get that role… Of course, he could tell his bosses, but there was a small part of him, deep down, that was curious about where this would lead him. Now, obviously, being a stagehand was a pretty classic job, one without risks… But this? While he was terrified of screwing up, especially since people would be looking at him… Yeah, there was something that prevented him from refusing this promotion. And, also, if that could piss MJ off, then it was a good bonus. The studio reception was calm compared to the day before and, for a moment, just a small moment, the student thought his shift was going to be nice. But ooh, no, he couldn’t have nice things- the moment he opened the door leading to the staff areas, he winced as many voices echoed around him. They were coming from all directions, through walls, doors too! It was a large cacophony in there, and people were running around, carrying stuff and bringing props for each shooting. Actions movies, dramas, comedies… Each type had its own part of the studio, but there was this central room linking them all together and, oh, this place was just a battlefield. Moving fast through the agitated crowd, Lukas tried to reach his accredited part of the studio- the children shows shootings. Avoiding props almost falling on his feet accidentally, sneaking between people carrying hot coffee, and bending down to avoid planks being carried around… He bumped into someone just before he got to open the door leading to his area. -“Oh, I- I’m sorry,” he stammered, quickly moving back, so he could apologize properly to the person he had bumped into. However, his eyes widened when he recognized the figure in front of him. Mike! The good twin. For a second, the latter’s face had alarmed him, as he thought he had bumped into MJ instead… But thankfully, while having the same face, the two brothers had very different hairstyles and fashion choices. The student let out a sigh- phew, he wasn’t sure he would have been ready for MJ’s bullshit right at the beginning of his shift. -“Oh, hey!” Mike seemed almost as surprised as he was, though his expression quickly changed to a warm, welcoming one: “Good to see you again- oh, wait, let’s, uh… Get inside,” he then mumbled, opening the door quickly so they both could leave the absolute war zone they were in. Lukas didn’t lose any time and followed the other like a shadow would, only getting the opportunity to sigh in relief as they found themselves in a much quieter place. Kinda ironic that the children shows part of the

studio was calmer than the staff hall... -“Hey,” he finally replied, now that the “battlefield” was behind them: “It’s good to see you too,” he answered trustfully, with a smile. He hadn’t seen the other since MJ’s outburst the day before, and getting the chance to meet him again was a good way of making Lukas’ day a little better and… Less chaotic. -“How are you?” he then asked, deciding to take a moment for a conversation with his only friend in the studio so far. Plus, he was… Worried. With what had happened the day before, and how MJ had thrown Mike’s puppet on the floor like it was nothing, he wanted to make sure everything was okay. -“Oh, I’m… Doing fine,” the other looked away with an awkward smile, which was an obvious sign that things had definitely happened yesterday. With how furious the actor had been when leaving the shooting, Lukas could very well imagine the latter taking his frustration on his brother. What an asshole. But, it was family business, and he couldn’t say anything about it, as a stranger. -“What about you?” Mike added quickly, visibly determined on changing the topic: “I heard you got the role, yesterday. Congrats!” The praise took the student by surprise, and he felt his cheeks reddening from the embarrassment. Oh, man, this was new, yeah… He wasn’t used to that kind of thing. His stance tensed up, and a sheepish smile took place on his lips. -“Oh, uh… Thanks,” he blurted out, and it was his turn to look away: “It’s… Really weird, I guess I’m just… Feeling a bit shocked, you know?” he turned his head back to his new friend and a nervous giggle escaped him. He was fidgeting, not really knowing how to respond to that. -“Ah, yeah, it’s your first time,” Mike nodded, remembering that Lukas had first been hired as a stagehand, not as an actor: “Don’t worry, children shows are the perfect way to start as a beginner. You know, with the public being less critical and all… I’m sure you’ll get used to it in no time.” The puppet maker was kind, trying to reassure Lukas and ease his anxiety. Too bad that his stage fight was skyrocketing since the moment he had stepped in the building again… Another nervous giggle left his lips, and he started to rub his arm, not knowing what to do with his hands. -“I suppose so…” he muttered, still smiling, though it looked less genuine: “It’s just that… I mean… Why me? I’m just a guy who wanted a part-time job. I’m not an actor, I don’t have any experience…” -“Well, from what I’ve heard, you were pretty good yesterday- oh, speaking about that…” Mike’s face darkened, as if he had just remember to mention something unpleasant: “I think you should… Avoid MJ, as much as you can, from now on. My brother, he’s… He didn’t take it well, I’m not gonna lie, and… I mean, you saw how he is with people, he’s not the best at being with others. Now, with what happened yesterday, I don’t think he’ll make your life any easier.” The student grimaced as he listened to his friend. Yeah… Yeah, he had seen that coming. With how livid MJ had been when leaving the set, it wasn’t surprising that the latter was going to make his shifts hell. God, he really hoped he would manage to avoid that jerk… -“Yeah, I… Kinda expected that,” he admitted, tilting his head to the side with a wince: “But, uh… Since he’s not part of the team anymore, I shouldn’t run too much into him… Right?” -“I wish I’d say yes, but…” Mike answered, his face showing conflict: “He has some other roles in the studio, and he might come see me now and then, so… Yeah. Be careful and do your best to avoid him. He’s not… The best person to be around when he’s like this.” “Oh, you mean all the time, then?” Lukas thought to himself, but kept his mouth shut. Not the best thing to say out loud, especially when it came to said person’s twin. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why Mike was making so many efforts for someone that clearly didn’t deserve them… But, then again, he was a stranger, it wasn’t his place to say anything. -“Will do,” he assured his friend, before looking at his watch and- oh, shit, he was going to

be late. Apparently, it must have been visible from his expression, because the puppet maker let out a soft giggle: -“Oh, yeah, it’s time,” he looked up, as if he were trying to remember something: “Last time I saw the Conductor and DJ Grooves, they were in the conference room with some investors. You should go practice in the meantime… My workshop is open, if you want,” he offered with a shrug: “It’s a small room, but I’m normally the only one there, so if you wanna have some quiet, alone time to rehearse, well… I need to help the stagehands for some set repairs, so I won’t bother you.” The offer was a really nice attention, another one that did help to make Lukas’ day a little better. Considering his promotion, he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to help the other stagehands while waiting for his bosses, but… Well, practicing really wouldn’t hurt, especially considering how short his night had been. -“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” he gave Mike a warm smile, before pointing to a door on the other side of the room: “It’s this one, right?” he asked for confirmation. -“Yep, that’s the one! Just, uh… Please don’t touch anything, most of the puppets and costumes aren’t done, so they’re quite fragile.” Lukas assured him he wouldn’t, and even then, he didn’t have any reason to. At least, contrary to his friend’s twin, he knew how to respect someone’s work… And with that, the two waved to one another, before heading to opposite directions. The student walked to the door with a quick pace, wanting to get as much time as possible to practice. When he opened it, he was surprised to see that, yeah, the room was pretty small indeed, even smaller than what he had imagined. The place was full of puppets hanging from the ceiling, and the walls were covered in eccentric and colorful clothes. It was almost eye straining! Two out of the four corners of the rooms were used to stock supplies and different types of fabric, making the room even smaller than it originally was. Then, hidden in the third corner was a desk with a sewing machine on top of it. It looked like an old but durable one, the kind that would last years even if it was out-of-date. Other than that, the desk was full of smaller supplies, like needles, sewing threads, pens, pieces of paper, templates… It was like this room had no free space other than the center of it. Well, Lukas supposed this is where he would rehearse, then. Not like there were many other option… The young man closed the door behind him and made a few steps, his eyes looking all around him. He didn’t think it was possible to fit so many things in a single room, but, hey, he was wrong! He then shook his head- it was time to work. After clearing his throat, the student opened his bag and took the script out, flipping the pages up to the parts he had the most trouble remembering. Oh, jeez, he really was doing this, wasn’t he? This was so weird… But whatever paid his bills and his studies, he guessed. And so… He got to work. It was a lot easier to practice when there was no one around. No one to judge him, no one to mock him when he fucked up… Yeah, it made it all easier. Sure, he didn’t have any experience in it, but at least he had to admit it was pretty fun. Nonetheless, he still had no idea why the two directors chose him over an experienced actor like MJ… Like, of course he had noticed the latter was a huge asshole, but other than that, his acting skills were obvious. Maybe he was being used to give MJ a lesson…? This seemed like the most probable explanation. After all, MJ’s presence in the casting was supposed to bring attention to the show… And now, one of the most important roles had been given to a nobody instead. It didn’t seem like a good idea, marketing-wise. Law was his specialty, but that didn’t mean he was stupid when it came to other things. Lukas couldn’t believe he had been chosen for his “talents”, because he had none on that field. After a moment, he paused his practice, shutting his eyes and letting out an exaggerated sigh. Shit, this was distracting him. He couldn’t focus

on his lines. His acting skills, if he had any, were affected by it. It was like something was entering his mind from one side only to disappear through another. Memorizing the words was harder than he had thought it would be the day before, and he couldn’t help but grunt in frustration. Fuck, he knew he was able to remember those lines, he had learned much more complex texts before! This script was simple, so the young man put the blame on his short night of sleep. Furthermore, it was hard to memorize something only by starting the day before… He was about to start again when he heard the door opening behind him, cutting him short. The student turned to the direction of the noise, expecting to see Mike’s face and… Well, in a way, he kinda did. Except it wasn’t Mike. It was MJ, the evil twin. “Oh, fuck me,” he thought, paling up. For fuck’s sake, right after Mike told him to avoid his brother! Was it a joke or something?! Before he even got the chance to speak, MJ’s expression changed from a neutral one to one of utter disgust. Yeah, clearly, the other had expected to see his twin, but… Nope, Lukas had been the one in the room. “Lesson learned, never going back in that workshop alone,” the student told himself, though it was way too late to do anything about it. -“Oh. It’s you,” the actor spat, this time not trying to keep his nice mask on like he had been when they had met the day before: “The fuck are you doing here?” The celebrity’s eyes were glaring at him, all while examining him from top to bottom. It was… Very unpleasant, to be stared at this way. And being talked to like that? Yeah, no, Lukas was perhaps a shy person, but he didn’t want to let anyone walk all over him, especially not an asshole like MJ. Usually, he tended to flee conflict, but today was different. He was way too tired to deal with this shit. -“Yes , hello to you too,” he muttered as an answer, quickly putting his attention back to the script: “Your brother’s not here, but he told me I could use the room in the meantime.” Apparently, his tone didn’t please the actor, whose eyes narrowed in response: -“No kidding, I can see my brother’s not here, dumbass,” he shrugged and rolled his eyes: “I’m not blind.” Oooh, the insult didn’t fall on deaf ears, and it really rubbed Lukas the wrong way. He turned to the celebrity again, this time returning the latter’s glare: -“Well, good for you, I guess,” the student spoke louder than his previous mutter. His annoyance was much more visible, though he still remained polite: “If you’re looking for Mike, he’s with the stagehands.” -“Didn’t ask,” the actor retorted harshly. The other’s eyes then fell on the script, and his expression darkened. Well, shit, this couldn’t be good- and, just like Lukas had predicted, it wasn’t. MJ’s look of hatred was soon replaced by a mocking yet salty expression, one that the student really didn’t like. -“Aw, am I interrupting something?” the celebrity taunted him, leaning against the door frame as a smirk took place on his lips. -“Actually, yes. You are,” Lukas’ patience was running out. God, he wanted to punch that guy so bad… Well, not like he would ever do that, he wasn’t that kind of person. Still, the urge was there. In response to his honest words, the actor scoffed loudly, rolling his eyes again. God, that fucking asshole… -“What, don’t tell me you honestly think you have what it takes!” MJ’s tone had changed from a mocking one to a harsher, meaner one: “You have no idea how to play a role- lemme guess, you never had any theater courses before, hm?” At Lukas’ silence, the celebrity snickered bitterly: -“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re just a nobody, a guy who happened to be there at the right time. But you, an actor? Don’t make me laugh. You don’t know shit about acting.” Okay, now that was enough. Politeness was nice and all, but with this guy? No, nu-huh, nope, not happening. In an instant, Lukas’ attempts at remaining civil were thrown away through a window. No one could talk to him like that, and not even his anxiety was

going to silence him. -“Oh, I don’t know shit about acting, that’s right,” he talked back, his tone much more aggressive: “But at least I know how to be a decent person.” -“Excuse me?” MJ’s face showed a mix of bewilderment and fury, probably because no one ever confronted him like this in the past: “I didn’t steal someone else’s job!” -“Hah, that’s rich!” the student scoffed, raising his arms with a scandalized expression: “You lost your job! I didn’t do anything!” his voice echoed in the room as his anger intensified: “If you weren’t such an asshole, maybe you’d have kept your place in the-” However, the student didn’t even get the time to finish his sentence. The celebrity had dashed towards him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, bringing their face close as an intimidating gesture: -“Watch your fucking mouth,” was the warning he got from the other, whose eyes were fixed on his: “There are so many things I could do to make your life a living Hell. I have a lot of strings I can pull, and if I were you, I wouldn’t risk that,” the actor’s voice had got lower, like a murmur, a clear threat directed to him. But Lukas was just getting so fucking tired of it. Enough was enough. He grabbed the celebrity’s hand and pulled it away, forcing the latter to let go of him. -“So, let me get this straight: you want to destroy me because I pointed out how much of a jerk you were to everyone? And you still think you’re the decent person out of us two? You might want to rethink that, buddy.” The response he got was yet another glare, though this time there was no spiky answer. “Of course I’m right, asshole, can’t say anything back, now, can you?” he thought to himself, pride swelling inside him. Man, this was perhaps the first argument he ever won… Holy shit, yeah, it was- and he didn’t even stutter! Maybe he needed to be tired more often- yeah, no, that wasn’t a good idea. Air was forced out of his lungs as he was pushed away, though despite the fear of being punched, it never came. The look of pure hatred he was getting from MJ was almost burning him and, for a moment, he really thought he would get attacked- being someone who had never fought anyone, he wasn’t really confident about his abilities to fight back. But all MJ did was to step back to the door, a furious expression written all over his face: -“You wanna play that game with me?” he spat: “Fine. But mark my words, stagehand, I will win.” And not even giving Lukas the time to retort anything, the actor stormed off the room and slammed the door behind him. It screamed “ I am mad, and I want everyone to know that”. Lukas, however, did not give a single fuck about it. Perhaps it was the tiredness speaking (and it was), but if the other wanted to fight, then Lukas would be ready. Well, he probably wouldn’t in hindsight, once his mind cleared up… But at the moment, the young man’s anger was making him blind to many aspects. One of them being that MJ was a famous person who was indeed capable of destroying him, and making him fail his studies with just the right calls. But this wasn’t something Lukas would realize before calming down. And only then, he would ask himself “why the hell couldn’t I keep my mouth shut like usual?!” Until that moment… The student kept rehearsing, though his anger prevented him from actually anything. Today was going to be a long day…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Hopefully Lukas won't have too much trouble with this jerk of an actor :)c (who I love with all my heart)

=> Chapter 7

[irkenheretic]

A Found Family AU With The Control Brains Could Actually Work, And Here’s Why

This all started as a spite-born joke, but honestly the more that I thought about it, the better it sounded to me. 

First off, this meta is gonna be going purely off canon materials. I will interpret certain lines to mean certain things, but there’ll be an alternate explanation if you don’t agree with that interpretation. 

Second, this meta is going to assume that the Control Brains are three- or more- separate entities. Which is actually supported because of this line:

Singular pronoun! 

Now that that’s out of the way, I’m gonna be judging this by a three-part metric, and going into what we actually know (and don’t know) about the Control Brains. (Spoilers: We don’t know much, and the most popular idea of their role in the Empire is pure fanon.)

Metric one is Do these characters like each other? (And if not, could these characters realistically like each other in the future?)

And judging by The Trial, I’d say... yes, actually! They seem to get along just fine. First off, they’re able to cooperate enough to conduct trial without fighting. Second, they don’t seem to be putting up with each other and act on amicable terms.

YMMV, but I see these lines as them quipping with each other. It’s kinda subtle, and lost in the fact that they both speak in monotone, but they seem kinda snarky in the same way Zim’s computer is. 

(And if they were annoyed by each other, we’d know- the Brains are capable of expressing emotions like annoyance, we see them get ticked off at Zim multiple times.)

And even if they didn’t like each other, or are only presenting as friendly to keep public image up, they could still feasibly like each other. The main appeal of ZADR/ZADF is that both Zim and Dib dislike each other but are in similar societal positions, with unique experiences that only the other can relate to. Therefore they could learn to connect using that shared experience. And whatever experience the Control Brains have being Control Brains, the only other beings that share that experience are other Brains. They’d end up getting along out of sheer desperation, at some point. You can’t spend eternity with someone and not like them at least a little eventually.

Which brings us to metric two: Do these characters deserve a family at all?

Again, I actually would argue yes. Hear me out.

So, it’s a popular (albeit unspoken) opinion in fandom that “good” characters deserve nice things like a family, and “bad” characters don’t. If you’re a fan of redemption arcs, the scope of what is a “good” character broadens, but there are still some characters even the most open-hearted of redemption-lovers won’t touch. The Control Brains, across the board, seem to fall into the latter category every single time. 

But what have they actually done wrong? Like, canonically.

In The Trial, they conduct Zim’s Existence Evaluation. This is their job and we can infer they’ve done it before.

In The Frycook What Came From All That Space, we see one of them re-encode Zim from Invader to Frycook. 

In Tak: The Hideous New Girl, one of them doesn’t let Tak retake her test.

And that’s it.

“But they rule the entire Empire-�� Nope, that’s just fanon!

“But the Zim Wiki says-” In the words of Eric Trueheart,��"The Invader ZIM fandom wiki is a wonderful labor of love by some very dedicated people, but it's wrong at least 25% of the time."

But fine. Let’s look at exactly what the Zim Wiki says. From the page of the Control Brains themselves, it says that the “Control Brains run the empire and their conclusions even have to be accepted by the Tallest, which means that the Tallest have no real authority over the people of Irk, and are simply figureheads (not unlike a constitutional monarchy).”

But when do we see this? Well, during the end of The Trial, the Tallest have no power to overturn their ruling. 

But do you know what that sounds like?

A FUCKING JUDGE.

If the President goes on trial, he still has to defer to the judge. That doesn’t mean that the judge is secretly in control of America and that the President is just a puppet on strings. It just means that the judge is doing his job and the President isn’t running around completely unchecked. (Please refrain from making the obvious President jokes on this post. I get it, I hate him too, but... please lemme have this post.)

There is no real evidence in the show proper to suggest that the Control Brains are all-powerful tyrants and that the Tallest are at their mercy.

And, really, would you talk like that to someone that held your life in their cold, unfeeling robot arms?

So, bottom line is, the Control Brains in the show act like judge, jury, and executioner in trials. That’s it, that’s all they do. Just because they’re called the Control Brains doesn’t mean they control everything. They could just control the trials. “Controller” could be the Irken word for “Judge,” and that’s where the name was derived from. Mechanical judges. 

“But they’re still defending awful things!” Okay, I see your point there, random person I made up to argue with on my meta post.

Which begs the question: Why? Why are the Brains acting like that? 

Well, they’re computers, right? Computers built to serve a purpose, and their purpose is this. That’s it, right? But they’re sentient. If they didn’t like it, they could protest! The fact that they don’t protest makes them complicit, and Bad Characters, right?

Guys... they’re computers.

What do you do to a computer that stops working the way you want it to?

We don’t know what the Brains think about their job. They could love it, they could hate it, they could see it as a necessary evil, they could be completely apathetic after centuries of doing it (if they’re even that old, which again, is not confirmed.)

But IF they didn’t like it... the hell are they supposed to do about it? They’re important pieces of machinery, possibly swarmed by techs ready to correct any sign of them not working right. They could have some sort of programmed-in limitation to keep them obedient. They could’ve tried, with disastrous results. They’re not like Zim. They can’t just quit. They’re computers rooted in place, closely watched for defects, and they have nowhere to go.

(And even if they did leave, who would take them in? Where could they go? Even if they downloaded themselves into PAKs or into robot bodies, the adjustment period from being a giant invulnerable heavily guarded computer to something that needs to actually fend for itself would be maddening and possibly dangerous.)

And honestly? I love Zim to bits, but he did wreck the planet and he did deserve exile. They’re just carrying out the sentence. He did cause many many disasters in Irk’s history. Plus, the Tallest were the ones that trialed him in the first place, but they have fans!

The worst thing they’ve done, unprovoked, is not let Tak retake her test. Or, more specifically, they made her wait to retake the test. We don’t even know why! Did they go “You couldn’t even get out of a room so we don’t want to send you to an enemy planet?” Did they go “You have to wait because half of Devastis is down and we’re working on half-power and half the space?” We don’t know! We literally do not know! (Plus that was only one of them.)

And I’m gonna say it: if Zib “I’m going to strand and brainwash Zims in order to commit multidimensional genocide” Membrane deserves a family, then so do the Control Brains because at least they didn’t do THAT in ACTUAL CANON.

There’s no good transition to metric three, so I’m just gonna say it: Do these characters want a family?

This part is short: We don’t know. 

They could think the idea of a family is stupid and antiquated. They could not know what a family is at all. They could want a family. They could see the entire Empire as their family. They could already see each other as a family. 

We don’t know! The concept of a family never comes up during their appearances, so we have no way to know their thoughts on the subject.

Good thing fandom is transformative and we can make headcanons n’junk! (And really, who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned “character/characters don’t want a family and are gruff and standoffish but over time warm up to the others and they end up super close” found family story?)

Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. Also that the Control Brains are pretty funny characters in The Trial. 

I just like these guys a lot and I wish other people explored them more outside of the “these are the token evil badguys” role they fill every. Single. TIME.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. 

[julie1706]

Julie’s incredibly aesthetic incredibly autumny list of movies that she maybe recommends (part 2)

Oh sweet joy! It turns out that there are many more great, fantastic, cosy movies (and tv-series!) just absolutely perfect for autumn. By popular demand, I return with even MORE autumny recommendations, and this time, there might even be spell-checking. (Looking at you, “Silence of the Lamps”) (I won’t edit that, because that’s just funny.) 

Thank you for reading the previous one, and I hope you’ll enjoy this one too! We have some GREAT ones coming up. I hope! Maybe! But what I believe will really perfect this second list, is the fact, that autumn is close to being at its peak right now, with it being October! Woohoo! 

Pumpkins, Jack’o’lanterns, spooky movies, Halloween, tricks and treats, fog, rain, candles lit in the dark, delicious tea, and scarves, because the chill is back in the air! Amazing! The aesthetics are to die for! 

I’m on a small break from university, and have actually been having some allowed free time, to do autumny stuff. By this I mean I can do autumny stuff with my family and friends, and not feel guilty, because this time I’m not procrastinating. Well, I’m a little behind on some books, but it’s not that bad. You’re allowed free time on breaks! They’re supposed to be mostly free time, anyone knows that. I refuse to be a good student on breaks! 

This free time means that I have actually had time to watch some of these movies and tv-shows myself, and so I can feel a little better about recommending most of them, since I’ve actually seen them. Hehe. Still. I do have other, boring stuff to do, like reading for uni, emptying the dishwasher, cooking, vacuuming, etc., so there will be some of these I’m including, I have not watched, and those will be, again, backed by the power of optimism. Yay! Anyway! You’ve read enough not-halloween recommendationing, and is getting bored - Let’s get to it! (Also, these are still in random order, and I will put warnings at the end, again <3)

Coraline

I remember watching Coraline when it came out in theaters, years ago. I also remember that we had a little closet-thing in the wall, small and closed-up, but still very similar to the one she goes into, in the movie. Needless to say, this was not a favorite for little Julie, who was absolutely scared shit-less by this movie. I remember button-eyes, decaying puppets, and a very scary mom. Now, I have not watched the full movie since, but from bits and pieces through the years, I can wholeheartedly recommend this one. It’s stop-motion, the details are incredible, and wow, this movie is great. If you, like me, are no longer 9 years old, watch it! It’s wonderful, and surprisingly, very feel-good in the family aspect. A great movie!

Official synopsis: 

An adventurous 11-year-old girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets.

//Warning: do not watch this, if you are around nine years old. It will absolutely traumatize you about small closets in old houses. If you are not nine years old, I think you’re good! Just the right amount of spookyness, I believe!

Sense and Sensibility

I watched this with a good friend in february, I think. So I’m not sure why I think this has to go on an autumny list, but I stand by it! Maybe it’s the beige and brown, beautiful clothing, the many shots of nature, and the relationships between these characters, that fits very well with the cold and chilling air, we find ourselves in, here in lovely October. I don’t know. Food for thought. But this is a great movie, and I really think you should try watching it under a blanket, with tea and a good friend. We didn’t know the story before we saw it, and it had us guessing! And there is a part my other friend Sif told me, always makes her dad cry, and I think that should be taken as a compliment to this movie! It’s great! Love, sisters, crisis and period drama (and great clothes), this movie has it all! (also - Emma Thompson!)

Official synopsis: 

Rich Mr. Dashwood dies, leaving his second wife and her three daughters poor by the rules of inheritance. The two eldest daughters are the title opposites.

//Warning: It might make you cry. But I promise, it will be a good experience, in the end. It’s not scary, though.

Over the Garden Wall (animated series)

Well, this one, I’ve been dreading to add to my list. Now, you must not misunderstand, it’s not because I don’t like it. It’s because this series is so great, so weird, so beautifully drawn and made, that I’m afraid I could write a whole blog post dedicated only to Otgw, and still not feel that I have done it justice. It's just so good. It’s like the someone just decided one day, to make a series, that absolutely, perfectly encompasses autumn and halloween, and then did just that. The storyline is good, the art is good, the soundtrack is good. God, the soundtrack. I’ve also made sure to listen to this show’s soundtrack, since we left summer behind, and it’s just so good. There’s a reason tumblr went wild, when this show was first released. But since this is an AUTUMNY list, let me focus on those aspects. Big dark woods, scary noises in the dark, red and golden leaves, fantastical beings - this show has it all, and trust me, it WILL get you in the mood for autumn. I almost started puking leaves and pumpkins when I watched this with my friends, that’s how pumped it got me. This show has a special place in my heart, and if you promise not to tell all the other movies and shows on the list, I’ll admit something: this might be a favorite of mine. Maybe THE autumny favorite. 

Official synopsis:

Two brothers find themselves lost in a mysterious land and try to find their way home.

Warning: May be a little spooky, but I have it on good authority from a friend that is a true scaredy-cat, with nerves of whipped cream, that’s it’s fine. She  could handle it, watches it every year, and she’s fine. Good levels of scary.  

Corpse Bride

Believe it or not, that same scaredy-cat of a friend, I just mentioned, actually instructed a musical, based on this story. Is she a horror-fan or not? I have no idea, but her show was so well-done, that it actually made me like this movie a bit better. I have seen it before, but she convinced me, by telling me the original story behind this movie, that it’s pretty great. And by association, this movie became pretty great, too. It’s been some years since I saw this, but it’s a pretty good halloween movie, I think. Dead people tormenting the living. Classic autumn stuff, I would say. And it’s pretty well-made, I think, stop-motion again! I like the aesthetic of a corpse bride, though you have to admit the actual thing is pretty sad. The premise is haunting and scary, but it’s more morose, melancholic and depressing, I think. Poor Emily. But a good movie! Sorry, maybe that wasn’t a very enticing description, but I promise, it will do you more good than bad, to watch it. And then go google the original story, the movie is based on! 

Official synopsis:

When a shy groom practices his wedding vows in the inadvertent presence of a deceased young woman, she rises from the grave assuming he has married her.

//Oops, nearly forgot a warning! Warning: some people are dead, and therefore rotting a bit. If you’re squeamish, don’t watch. If you love sad love stories, definitely watch!

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Yeah, I’m not sure why this has to go on my Autumny List either, sorry. It just has to. I know it takes place over an entire year, but in my head, it jut fits very well with the whole magic, supernatural, foggy halloween times we find ourselves in. I mean, look at the cover! Maybe it’s the iconic scene, right before the troll is discovered in the girls’ bathroom (sorry, spoiler), with the floating jack’o’lanterns, and tables almost crashing undet the weight of candy and cakes, that convinced my brain, that this is a halloween movie. I don’t know. Just trust me on this, and watch the first Harry Potter movie. It’s pretty good. 

Official synopsis: 

An orphaned boy enrolls in a school of wizardry, where he learns the truth about himself, his family and the terrible evil that haunts the magical world.

//Warning: Nah, you’re good ;-)

Little Women (Important: 2019 edition)

Alright girls, we’re hopping genres again! This is another period-drama (sort of), about sisters, and wow, I cried to this. I bawled, I sobbed, I choked on snot, and was a little inconsolable, when I watched it with friends, at the cinema. One of the best experiences this year, and one of the greatest movies I have watched in a long time. I love everything about this movie: the family-bonds, the clothing, the many nature-shots, the developments of characters, (almost) all the characters, and just, wow. No good way to end that sentence, because I want to just keep describing all the good parts of this movie, because it's everything. It’s amazing, and yes, i’m exaggerating, but I can’t help it. I forgot to eat my popcorn or drink my water, when we watched this, that’s how mesmerized I was by this movie. I love Jo, I think I can empathize a lot with her, and if I could talk to her, if she was real, I would thank her for telling her story. This movie is great, you should watch it, because it makes you feel so warm inside. 

Official synopsis:

Jo March reflects back and forth on her life, telling the beloved story of the March sisters - four young women, each determined to live life on her own terms.

//Warning: Might make you break down crying. But in a good way. Very cathartic, actually.

Alien

I watched this for the first time last year, when I decided I was going to watch the classic older horror movies, and not freak the fuck out. I mostly succeed. And this movie was a joy to watch. That’s maybe weird to say about an alien horror movie, but wow I just love Sigourney Weaver, and the aesthetics of this movie. The story is thrilling, and I really did not like most of the characters, I thought they were hysteric and annoying, but I still rooted for them. It’s a different kind of horror movie, that’s for sure! But when I watched it, I totally understood why it has become such a classic.

Official synopsis: 

After a space merchant vessel receives an unknown transmission as a distress call, one of the crew is attacked by a mysterious life form and they soon realize that its life cycle has merely begun.

//Warning: Uh, yeah, Sif, this is not one for you. It’s gross and scary. Malin, I think you’ll like this one! Go ahead! Maybe we should see it together?

Edward Scissorhands

Haven’t seen this one! I want to, though. I think I’ve seen one scene, where this man accidentally pokes a water-bed, and younger me felt that was a very tragic thing, on more levels. Johnny Depp yet again, so it has to be good, right? I know this poor guy, Edward, has it rough, and was given some really not that practical hands. Man, he looks sad, huh? So maybe more sad than scary, yet again. Dont know! But I really do want to watch it. Winona Ryder is in this, too, so really, it’s a no-brainer!

Official synopsis:

An artificial man, who was incompletely constructed and has scissors for hands, leads a solitary life. Then one day, a suburban lady meets him and introduces him to her world.

//Warning: I don’t know? Maybe not that spooky? I think it’s more sad, to be honest.

Pride + Prejudice + Zombies

I mean, why the hell not - right? I love Jane Austen. I love Pride and Prejudice. And I really like halloween, so OF COURSE, I’m including this one. I’ve seen it, too. My friend Malin and I watched it a couple of years ago, and yeah, it’s good. It’s not high cinema, no, but I don’t need that. It was a fun, weird twist, and sometimes, that’s all you need. There is a very interesting scene with a corset, that was NOT in the book, and I think it really added something to this story. And Lily James. Whew. Great movie. Great for autumn. I will be watching this one again.

Official synopsis:

Five sisters in 19th century England must cope with the pressures to marry while protecting themselves from a growing population of zombies.

//Warning: I can’t really remember, but I think there’s some pretty gross scenes with zombies. Rotting flesh is NOT pretty. But just close your eyes for that, and  you’ll be good!

The Haunting of Hill House

I first watched this series when i came out some time ago. I never finished it, I don’t think my heart was in it, but by no fault of the show. Now, that the same creator has made another show, which my mom and I are hooked by, and almost through, I think I’ll be returning to this one - it deserves another chance! A great old house, ghosts, family secrets and INCREDIBLE aesthetics, mean there must be something here! Also, I think it’s based on a novel by Shirley Jackson, and it’s supposed to a classic horror novel, and Stephen King tweeted that he liked it, so yeah, it’s promising! The series I’m watching with my mom is spooky, but tumblr says the Haunting of Hill House is supposed to be much more spooky, terrifying, even, and I really want to find out if that’s true!

Official synopsis:

Flashing between past and present, a fractured family confronts haunting memories of their old home and the terrifying events that drove them from it.

//Warning: Very Scary! Faint of heart - Beware! Just enjoy this beautiful gif of Nell dancing by herself, and move on <3

Psycho

Another old classic! Woo! Have not watched, but really, I feel like that’s almost a crime by now. I HAVE to watch it. Soon, I’m planning to. Sadly, It’s old, and I grew up with the internet, so I’ve been spoiled oh so dreadfully, and knows all the bloody details and plottwists of this oldie but goldie. But I still want to watch it! It must be a classic for a reason - right? Also, I’ve never seen the full version of the famous shower scene, and that’s just embarrassing. Shame on me.

Official synopsis:

A Phoenix secretary embezzles $40,000 from her employer's client, goes on the run, and checks into a remote motel run by a young man under the domination of his mother.

//Warning: It’s a horror classic! It’s gotta be scary. Then again, it DID come out in 1960. Be careful about this one! Sorry, I have no idea, have never watched it.

Hannibal (the TV series)

It’s gross, it’s scary, it’s aesthetic, there is a danish elegant man eating people in snowy Baltimore, and you really shouldn’t pay him to be your psychiatrist. Hannibal! I first watched this as a young, edgy teenager, and all the blood and gore didn't get to me at all - I just enjoyed the cat-and-mouse game between Will Graham, our main character, very mentally unstable, and a dog-lover, and Dr. Hannibal Lecter, a renowned psychiatrist, elegant, high-society - and also, he talks like a mixture of the bible and an old greek sonet. What I'm trying to get at is that this show is weird. Good weird. But also, now no longer an edgy teenager myself, it’s really gross. A man’s leg is cut off and served to himself. That’s gross. I didn’t like that, and I definitely covered my eyes. Other than that, it’s a very vivid show, with great focus on presentation and symbolism. I would love for someone to analyse each episode, because there's so much attention to detail. It’s honestly impressive. And after having watched many, many shows about crime and murders, I must say, this show has THE most buckwild, creative, never seen before ways of killing people. How the hell do you come up with a murderer using people’s different skin colors to make a mural? I don’t know. It’s disgusting, but man is it different. I’m halfway through season two, and there is a lot to unpack! Also, have to mention, very homoerotic - that’s a plus. Don’t think I could’ve stomached all the blood, otherwise. I hate blood, and wow is there blood in this show.

Official synopsis:

Explores the early relationship between renowned psychiatrist, Hannibal Lecter, and his patient, a young FBI criminal profiler, who is haunted by his ability to empathize with serial killers.

//Warning: Yeah. You read how many times I wrote ‘gross’. Just trust me on this one, it’s gross. It’s good, but maybe don’t watch it. You don’t need to introduce your brain to this.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

Ooh boy. Ooooh boy. This series is very good. VERY good. I’m watching it with my mom right now, I think we’re at episode 7, and wow are we hooked. It’s spooky, it’s haunting, it’s thrilling, it’s mysterious, and wow is it scary. We both agreed to go together, the first night we watched this, and our dog had to be taken out on his night-walk. She didn’t want to go alone, and i didn’t want to stay back at the house, alone. So we went together, and I was so freaked out that I nearly peed my pants, when some kids screamed in our neighborhood. It’s so very much what I want a ghost-story to be, but it’s also a lot more, and much greater for it. I love all the characters, they’re all so well-rounded, and most of them are good. The big manor is spooky, and the woods surrounding it are foggy and dark, and yes, this is really a great series for autumn and halloween. It’s the second series made by Mike Flanagan. There are some similarities between the two shows, and surprisingly, some of the same actors! I think that’s very interesting, and it also made me very confused, as I watched the first episodes of the Haunting of Bly Manor, and could not, for the life of me, figure out where the hell I had seen these people before. It made it even more eerie in a way, and I appreciate that. I love this show, and I think I’ll be very sad when we’re through with it. I guess the natural thing to do, will be to follow up with Flanagan’s previous horror series, The Haunting of Hill House! Also, there’s lesbians in this one. Very nice. I appreciate that. Also, surprisingly - I love the children! They’re so cool and brave, and it would be very nice if especially Flora could go with me, the next time I’m going to a haunted house. Such a badass.

Official synopsis:

After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose.

Warning: It’s spooky. It’s the perfect halloween series, so of course it’s very spooky! This gif I chose is spooky, and I promise the show itself is worse. But if you can handle dead people creepily staring in the background, and maybe has someone to watch it with, I think you’ll be fine!

Alright! We made it! Another spooky, aesthetic, autumny list, for us to enjoy this crispy season! Woohoo! Also, I’m sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes or whatelse, I hope you enjoyed reading anyway! Thank you! Now go drink some tea and relax, you’ve earned it. I recently tried chili-tea, and damn, that’s another recommendation from me! It was amazing!

Hope you have a great Halloween, it’s close now. Watch out for the cold weather, remember to bundle up, and don’t let the impending darkness get you down. Light some candles! And also, watch some of these spooky tv-series and movies with your family and friends! And have a great fall! <3

Love, Julie

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest. 

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging.  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.  From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.  She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.  I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora:  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme.  i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton:  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well. 

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction.  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

[adultswim2021]

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law #12: “Trio's Company” | April 18, 2004 - 11:30 PM | S02E02

I would say that Space Ghost's ending truly was the end of an era. I'm not sure how cognizant of it I was at the time, though. I can't remember if Space Ghost's season was plainly stated to be it's last or if it just felt that way or what. But if it did indeed seem like an ending at the time, then what a fucking insult giving us more Birdman to kick things off for phase 2. I mean, Jeuss Christ.

In “Trio's Company” we are treated to a barrage of empty zany jokes about Birdman trying and failing to get in GiGi's pants. She's a beautiful redhaired lady that is making out with every man in the office (and elsewhere) but him. She's based on Gravity Girl from the Galaxy Trio. Their relationship takes a turn when he asks her out and she agrees... to move in with him. Funny? I mean, it's not a bad concept, especially when she brings other dudes over with her (I think they're the dudes from the Galaxy Trio, but I'm so exhausted from looking up “Gravity Girl”, I simply can not bear it). But everything in Birdman's world has no gravity, which is pretty FUCKING ironic because [you get it already, I'll stop].

This is when I officially gave up on Birdman. I might have said that during the write-up for the last episode, but it's technically truer to say so here. I did actively watch “Blackwatch Plaid”, but any and all moaning about “I'M NEVER WATCHING THIS SHOW AGAIN” is basically meaningless for me, a person who will emptily make this threat and then wind up seeing a bad show to it’s conclusion anyway. Me giving up on Birdman has to happen in practice, which it did here when I did not watch this episode on television. I did not actually see this episode until I started this project.

Birdman plays it's comedy with the precision of that brief bit in The Animaniacs where it shows the writers “flipped”. I don't know if this is going to mean anything to any of you, but I’ll try and explain. Literally almost every time when I think about Birdman-- okay, you know how sometimes when you hear about something, like an object or a concept or a person, etc, your brain will sorta identify that thing to you by showing you a brief image of it? Like a flashcard? Does anyone else experience this? Like, somebody says “fishing pole!” and your brain just shows you a very brief picture of a fishing pole to you, so you'll continuing knowing what fishing poles are?

Well, when people mention shows or movies to me sometimes more than a flash card pops up, but instead it'll be like an animated gif, and for me when I think of Birdman I actually think about that brief scene in The Animaniacs theme song under the lyric “the writers' flipped” and it's just two writers with re-re arms bouncing around while they make goofy faces and springs are coming out of their heads. I probably can't convince anyone here that I'm right about thinking Birdman is unfunnily zany in a detestable way by urging you to google the theme song for Animaniacs and look at that short little animation. But I wish I could.

I've explained this before. But some of you like when I repeat stuff incessantly, so this is for you: I attempted this blog one other time. I started a thread called something like ADULT SWIM IN REVIEW or ADULT SWIM: REVIEWED where I just decided to go through every episode of every Adult Swim show in chronological order. I did it up to 2004 or so, kinda around where I am now (yikes!). I dashed it off initially, cuz it was just a message board thread and I was basically just using it as a way to keep track of it for myself, so I'd say stupid pithy things that usually involved some message-board specific shorthand (example: “puppets? compn must hate this one” “Frylock produces a list that would rival Lim da Skit’s!” like, the most inane-sounding inside shit ever). I started over because it’d been so long that picking up where I left off felt weird, and also those early entries really didn’t hold up. Anyway, here's a previously-unpublished write-up for this episode that remarkably says different stuff:

Historically speaking, I gave up on Harvey Birdman around this time. This was the first Birdman show that I intentionally missed. All these Birdman episodes from here on our are exciting and new to me!

So anyway, this episode is really terrible. Like, spectacularly so. I hate every character, I hate every joke, I hate how the story moves... man, I just hate everything about this one.

So okay, Inch High PI is fired for being short. See, his shortness interferes with his surveillance-photo-taking abilities. That's funny, right? Meanwhile, Birdman deals with a comically promiscuous personal trainer who moves into Birdman's apartment after Birdman asks her out on one date. She uses his apartment to fuck dudes in, while never fucking Birdman. Birdman thinks that he has a thread of a shot of a chance getting his cloacae stroked, so he puts up with it. While this all happens, Inch High PI is shown running in at the end of every scene trying to get Birdman's attention (he's small! so it's tough!). Reducto goes crazy at the sight of him (because he's small! Reducto is obsessed with stuff like that!). You get the idea.

The most frustrating thing about this episode is that basically nobody actually has a conversation. That's one of the main things that irks me about Birdman: the characters are crazy joke machines and pairing any two characters in a scene almost never results in a functional verbal interaction. It's like watching bad improv or something. Except, you know, it's a cartoon, where there are multiple stages in production where you have an opportunity to fix that problem. It doesn't strike me as a creative choice as much as just bad writing.

This episode bites and I don't care who knows it. Go away!

EPHEMERA CORNER

The Popeye Show #9: "The Hyp-Nut-Tist/Child Psykolojiky/Cartoons Ain't Human" (April 19, 2004 - 1:30 AM)

At 1:30AM, Adult Swim started airing The Popeye Show. I’m not sure they even promoted it. I think they just needed to fill that half hour suddenly and just decided to plug The Popeye Show on there. I liked The Popeye Show. They showed three uncut Popeye shorts and included little bumpers discussing certain historically significant Popeye facts. It was clearly aimed at adult classic animation fans and not kids. Really cool, honestly. Anyway dipshits who don’t understand that Popeye is great complained, because they thought it was kids cartoons polluting their block. Relax shithead. Popeye is good. It’s a cartoon about a gross guy that kills people for fun. It fits right in to your precious Adult Swim block. It’s okay. They’re going to take it off the schedule soon, anyway.

Swimpedia notes that it was Popeye’s 75th anniversary around this time which I guess means Adult Swim actually was acknowledging our boy Popeye at some capacity. Unfortunately I don’t remember this! But then again, this is around the time I started drifting away from Adult Swim as a regular viewer.

[buckybarnesbingo]

What the Pic?

Participants: @ariasfandom, @rebelmeg, @wolfnprey, @ladydarkphoenix-blog, @bookdragon13, @liquidlightz, @jeminamoonnight, @caiti-creative-corner, @ribbonsflyingoutthewindow, @ibelieveinturtles

@ariasfandom - Bucky started watching Oobi and wanted to make an OC of it

@rebelmeg - all sam wanted to do was sleep in.  that was it, that was all he wanted out of a saturday.  which, of course, was the first thing his annoying houseguest decided to ruin, with a fist in his face at the crack of dawn.  a fist wearing googly eyes.  "bucky, what the hell?"

@wolfnprey - This is the default picture Clint sends out when he's judging. Bucky retaliates by posting his own in the vents and hides Clint's arrows.

@ladydarkphoenix-blog - Bucky gets caught watching kids(Sam's nephews, Clint's kids, insert kids here} unaware but has no idea how to entertain them so somehow ends up telling stories with his hands playing characters that are surprisingly effective

@bookdragon13 - Bucky gets drunk on Asgardian mead and thinks it’d be hilarious to put googly eyes on his metal hand and make it talk for him the rest of the night

@liquidlightz - Being an Eldritch deity apparently wasn't as awe inspiring as he'd always assumed himself to be, given that his host was entirely un-phased and thought it was funny to make puppet hands out of him and make up silly stories.  The fact that he found this insult highly entertaining was even worse for his ego.

Keep reading for more!

@bookdragon13 - Bucky buys that for Clint after staying with him for a couple days. Clint absolutely loves it Of course

@rebelmeg - "likl.  likl?!  who approved that?  how did that make it to store shelves!  this is a disgrace!" "bucky, you really need to calm down." "i'll calm down when that travesty is removed from my sight!" going shopping with bucky is never boring.

@ladydarkphoenix-blog - Bought as a gift for himself because Bucky found the misspelling hilarious and it would bug the most important of his guests by making them guess if he didn't notice that little detail or what was happening in his head. Watching them try to deal with it gives Bucky much joy

@wolfnprey - The group stares, unimpressed, as people in the gallery move around them. Nat and Tony insist that the artist is just fucking with people, while Sam and Clint argue over how deep the meaning is. Bucky takes one look at Steve and knows his friend is dying a bit inside at how low art has stooped in the modern age. Bucky's nice enough not to comment that it's made out of a damn shower rug.

@ariasfandom - "Bucky, we live together. I know for a fact you didn't "wake up like this"

@liquidlightz - In the morning, his boyfriend told him how beautiful he looked, and how amazing his hair was, despite having mussed it all up during their passionate evening before.  Apparently Bucky didn't suffer from bed hair but from magically self-smoothing hair.  Ok, so maybe he used his magiks a little to keep it looking so good, what was the harm in that.  So when Bucky saw this in a store he just had to get it and put it by the foot of his bed.

@ladydarkphoenix-blog - Bucky never thought he'd be turned into a dog. He also never thought he'd be staying with Clint and his dog or that the kids in the building would try to disguise him like this

@rebelmeg - bucky wasn't sure to think when he opened his door one morning to find a dog on the step wearing graucho glasses.  he also wasn't sure if he should trust the note tied to the dog's collar that said, "pet me, i'm yours."  but either way, the spaniel was pretty cute, and it turned out to be a snuggler.  worst things could happen.

@ribbonsflyingoutthewindow - If you're going to name your dog Professor Diggory and you're going to ask Bucky to dogsit him, you should be prepared for the fact that Bucky’s going to accidentally make him an internet celebrity. Groucho glasses and the ability to pose very still for a picture while Bucky holds a pretzel between his lips is the easiest way to have a booming Instagram account in under a week. Bucky and Professor Diggory are practically professionals now. Don't be jealous.

@rebelmeg - it has happened every time.  every single time he goes to the mcdonald's closest to his house, they manage to mess up his order somehow.  actually, he's starting to suspect it's on purpose.  there had definitely been a smirk on the guy's face when he handed bucky his order through the window.  that might explain why his request for a cheeseburger with just ketchup had nothing but ketchup between the buns.  hmm.  this might mean war.

@ibelieveinturtles - Sick of working long hours at minimum wage, dealing with shitty customers amd an even shittier manager, Bucky decides its time to try that malicious compliance thing.

@ladydarkphoenix-blog - What's happened to customer service?!?! Back in his day if you made a simple request for a burger with only ketchup the kitchen was smart enough to know what you meant. Were they messing with him? Can they not figure out what a simple order meant? Bucky sighed and shook his head. He'd had worse dinners

@ribbonsflyingoutthewindow - So Steve's got a fuckton of allergies and quite frankly, Bucky doesn't even know what they all are, so telling the person at the drive thru that Steve wanted "a McDouble with just ketchup" was a precautionary action. He thought because he knew Steve was allergic to onions and dairy and mustard that it was safer to ask for only ketchup (probably Steve's only known safe-listed condiment) and potentially not be the one to accidentally murder a man he cared deeply about. But seeing Steve later open the hamburger bun to reveal a bun with a single squirt of ketchup inside made Bucky literally faceplant into his car horn. That was not what he fucking meant.

@rebelmeg - swaying gently in the tropical breeze that smelled like ocean and flowers, bucky smiled to himself.  he was staring up at the clouds and palm trees overhead, his hammock creaking just slightly.  off to his right, his favorite person in the world was sprawled on a towel on the sand, soaking in the sun and drinking some kind of fancy umbrella drink with a silly straw.  best vacation ever.

@ladydarkphoenix-blog​ - Steve made jumping out of planes seem so easy. He never needed a parachute, never seemed to have the aches and pains after. With a sigh, Bucky stared up at the sky. At least he had a good view.

@ribbonsflyingoutthewindow​ - Pic Summary:When Bucky, Sam, and Natasha agreed to share an AirBnB for their Hollywood vacation, they'd only planned to see some famous sights and maybe try to pose with someone as famous as the monkey from the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Then they'd discovered that arguably the two hottest actors in the entire film industry, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, were sharing the house next door! Overnight it became a bet and then a high stakes fight to the (okay, not actual) death to see which of them could meet one of the two actors first. Bucky hadn't exactly been spying while he was standing hidden behind an open gate on their temporary neighbor's property, but he must have been well hidden anyway because the moment he went to run and hide, a sleek convertible pulled out of the drive and directly into a fleeing Bucky. He kind of hates that his first thought upon opening his eyes and looking up to see only trees and a cloudy blue sky above him was that at least he'd probably won the bet.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #438

“i won’t let you die, keep you alive just to remind you of what you are not”

What is your favorite card game? Probably Magic: The Gathering, even though I'm not great at it. I just ADORE the artwork, mainly. Is YouTube one of your favorite websites? Yeah, given I'm constantly on it. Does your mother have a sister? If so, what’s her name? Yeah, named Kelly. What are you doing tomorrow? I'll be going with Mom to the pool at the gym. She goes Tuesdays and Thursday, so I'm going to start joining her to help ease soreness from my exercise days. Would you ever want to go to Africa? It's high on my bucket list! I am DESPERATE to visit the KMP and photograph and pet and pamper the meerkats. :') Last time you went bowling? Not since I was on a date with Girt. Would you ever want to own a bakery? Noooo, I don't enjoy cooking of any sort. I'm way too impatient. Do you like to text? It's funny, I don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I make typos too much and autocorrect only wants to work at the WRONG time, it seems. I'd still rather text than actually talk on the phone, though. You want your next pet to be what? To be realistic, it'll probably be a western hognose snake. I REALLY want a tarantula, but Mom absolutely will not allow it for as long as I live with her, lol. Trust me, I've pestered her about it. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? Eh, probably a vampire. Do you prefer white or black electronics? Black. Do you like Nerds candy? Yeah. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why you absolutely shouldn't, but it's sadly legal in some countries. Thankfully, not America. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? Oh yikes, I have no idea. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, Tarzan, and The Blair Witch Project: Book of Shadows. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I know it's super cliche, but I genuinely found Outlast terrifying. As well, SCP Containment Breach is a game I can't even play because the jumpscares startle me too much, lol. They're just too loud. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No. I'm not really interested in keeping fish as pets. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Tyler wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. Barely even two weeks in and he got all bent out of shape over there being days we just didn't text. Like dude, especially this early in a relationship, I don't want to talk 24/7. He acted like we were together for years or some shit. Like sorry I want alone time. That relationship was just a bad idea. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Sadly. Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? Probably Girt. He's just in general very smart. When yawning, do you cover your mouth? If out in public, yes. If you had a garden, what would you plant in it? Would you actually tend to it, or would it wind up neglected & withered? I could NEVER maintain a garden, but if I had the motivation and tolerance for the heat, that'd be nice. I'd love mostly flowers, and a grapevine would be pretty! Plus some strawberries. Do you like peanut butter? Yeah, definitely. What about marshmallows? Yep. How do you roast your marshmallows? They have to be BARELY brown at all. Like it has to be the liiightest toast. Do you eat s’mores? Ugh, hell yes. I really want some now, thanks. Own a lava lamp? No, but I'd love a pink one. :( Or black. Own any sort of glow-in-the-dark room accessory? No. Ever done something sexual in public? No, I have common decency. Do you like the taste of squid or eel? I COULD FUCKING NEVER TRY EITHER. Slimy or rubbery stuff like that is such a massive no. Ever date anybody in middle school? Yeah, Aaron in the 7th grade for a few months. Did you like to get dirty when you were little? I think I did. Like I know I loved speeding through mud puddles on my bike as a kid. Own anything that has to do with dragons or unicorns? I have a lot of dragon decor. Ever wanted to be a vet? Yep. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. What type of weapon do you prefer? Uh, none...? I don't like weapons. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? No, not really. Would you rather watch a full season of American Idol, or So You Think You Can Dance? The latter, by far. I used to love that show. I really enjoy watching dances. Have you ever worn boxers? Pretty sure no? Last hickey was from? I've only gotten to that point with one person, you can figure it out. Have you ever put a kick me sign on the back of someone? No, that is so rude. Are there any inappropriate pictures of you anywhere? No. I've never taken an inappropriate picture. How many times do you tend to sneeze in a row? Two or three. Karma; believe or don’t? I don't believe it's a thing. I wish it was. Ever changed a diaper? Once. Or maybe twice? No plans on ever doing that again. When you see anything smaller than a quarter on the ground, do you pick it up? I don't even pick quarters up, really. Can bald guys ever be attractive? Um, yes? Do you like hugs? Yessss. Would you ever donate blood? Yeah, I have before. I'd just have to get better about drinking water so I don't faint. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Ever had the opposite sex over when no one was home? You make that sound so scandalous, lmao. Yeah. What is the last song to make you cry? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Have you ever kissed someone in the rain? Yeah. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Are you anyone’s first love? I don't believe so. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? I'M LOSING WEIGHTTTTTT. :') The gym is paying off! Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind? That's kinda a permanent thing. He's always there, even if only in the back. Who was the last person to wink at you? My cat, ha ha. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Yes. Are any of your really close friends pregnant right now? REALLY close friends, nope. Are you for or against inter-racial relationships? ... You know it's 2021, right???? This never should have been controversial. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? Well, there's caffeine... When the holidays come around, do you watch holiday movies? No. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? I don't recall. Do you say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in order to avoid offending people who don’t celebrate Christmas? I honestly just say "merry Christmas." Have you ever made/played with a sock puppet before? Yes. Have you ever seen a waterfall (aside from in a fountain or other manmade things)? Only small ones. Are you a frequent sufferer of heartburn? Yes; I actually have a prescription for chronic heartburn. If I don't take it, I'll get heartburn to the point I come near tears. How many different colleges have you gone to? Three. How much stress can you handle? Ha, not a lot at all. What is one thing you thought you’d never do but have done or are doing? I'm 25 and feel like I've just... wasted so much, and I continue to. I never thought I'd make it to this age and to have gone so short a distance in terms of being a successful adult. Have you ever disowned a friend or family member for their beliefs? I've stopped being friends with people, yes. Do you ever feel like your life is too boring or predictable? It 120% is. Do you think you will die happy? To be honest... I think no a lot of the time. Do you like looking at pictures? Yeah. Are you a submissive person? Very. Do you believe the dead can have connections with the living? I do. What are your views on the death penalty? I support it in extreme cases. Once you prove to be a thorough monster that deeply endangers other humans... you don't deserve life. We as a society have to work together, not destroy one another. Do you like horror movies? Why or why not? Yeah! I like the thrill of them. Would you ever be able to become a vegan? No; I am FAR too picky with my food. I want to be vegan, but I just wouldn't survive. What was your favorite toy as a child? I had a whole story based around some plastic dinosaurs, alligators, deer, and Pokemon figurines. Who was your first best friend? What is your favorite memory of/with them? Are you two still friends? Brianna. I don't know what my favorite memory is... We made a lot. We're Facebook friends, but we don't talk anymore. Would you rather hang out with someone who is always high or someone who constantly wants to get drunk all the time? High, I guess. Drunk people I think get sloppier and, in some cases, angry. The (few) high people I've been around have just been chill and friendly. How did you meet your newest friend? I'm not entirely sure who I consider to be my newest friend. The last time you kissed someone, were your arms around their neck? I don't think so? I'm pretty sure I was just hugging her around the waist. You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get? I've mentioned how I wanna get my nose re-pierced in multiple surveys. Do you straighten your hair? No. When is the next time you will see the person you like? Who knows, dude. I really want to be able to walk for two minutes without feeling like I'm dying before I go to an airport again, and even more importantly, even as a fully-vaccinated person, I want Covid to chill out before I travel again. And who the fuck knows when that'll be since people don't want to listen to goddamn professionals. Did you get to sleep in today? I actually slept through my alarm and was late to gym today. :x Your first dog? I was born into the family with a collie named Trigger, but she passed when I was a baby, so I don't have any memories of her. We got what I want to say was a Rottweiler mix named Angel at one point, who I consider our first family dog, but she was born with that disease that some puppies have where they just... die. Who I consider MY first REAL dog was Teddy. <3 Stood loyally by my side as my furry son and most devoted friend for around 13 years. Do you prefer mint, citrus, or cinnamon toothpaste? Mint. Are you one of those people who are always cold? No, I'm always hot. Have you done anything sneaky lately? No. Have you ever had feelings for someone and thought “This is the person I want to be with forever”? Yeah, twice. Do you keep notes, drawings or letters that people give you? Of course! Have you had a significant other that you never kissed? Well, boyfriends, but I wouldn't count the ones I haven't kissed as truly "significant other"s. Has anybody ever dated you only for your looks? I don't think so. Do you have any handshakes with anybody? Nah. What are you listening to? "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White & Jonathan Davis. Would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? Yeah. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne. Since middle school. Who is your favorite author? I don't have a fave. Do you like cheesecake? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How did you meet the last person you kissed? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually, no. I'm actually in my best mood in the morning. Have you ever met your favorite band/singer? No, but holy fuck would that be awesome. I want to thank him for his music so badly. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)? Yeah. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes, but not this one. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. Have you ever been to a spa? Yeah, even though I really wasn't interested. I just went with Colleen because she invited me. I appreciated her wanting to hang out and include me of course, so I was happy to go, but it's not something I'd do of my own volition. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? The lemonade. Favorite South Park character? I don't have one, given I'm not interested in the show. How often do you have to shave? When/where I shave grows back FAST, so frequently. Ever go ghost hunting? No but omg I'd love to. Someone date me just to go do this together one night lmao. Do you have any family in the military? No. Can you talk to your mother about most things? I know I CAN talk to her about absolutely everything, but I don't always. Would you ever homeschool your children? If they wanted it and it'd be beneficial to their health and educational success, then yes. Are you afraid of change? Oh boy, am I. Who’s your favourite character from one of your favourite books? I'll go with The Outsiders, in which case I remember it was Dally.

[beerecordings]

If Anti was like usual, manipulating little thing who hurts others, but there is one of the egos he does not necessarily hurt, maybe manipulates but like, treats well kinda like how a normal relationship between the other egos. Who would it be and how would everyone feel about it? Like, what would be the difference between treatment and like, if Anti did it for a good reason what would it be? Like he actually kinda cares for that one ego.

oh my gosh!!! this is a great question yes!! it’s so interesting because i feel like i have so many ideas for it like i could come up with hundreds of different aus and fics and stuff just based on the idea of Anti sort of maybe liking one ego and not the others. because no matter who you choose or why or how Anti sees them it’s such a unique perspective every time and completely different! like maybe JJ is the obvious choice, right? he’s the one we know Anti actually does have his hands on, but does that mean he’s just a meatsuit or does Anti kind of like having him around? he got JJ when he was so young. he must have been so naive to everything that Anti was and he wouldn’t expect anyone to save him. that makes him unique to Anti, makes him his in a way none of the others could ever be. or maybe he’s obsessed with JJ’s time powers, doting over his puppet because he’s so powerful, so valuable, so important!

Jameson fights like hell at first, but he doesn’t know anything but Anti, and after Anti’s used him to kill a few times, the fight is really going out of him. he’s so tired of being terrified and locked up all the time!! he do anything for a few minutes out of this box! Anti starts letting him out a little if he promises to be good, training JJ to follow his rules, and suddenly he’s actually coming to heel, actually doing what Anti tells him to, and oh, oh, Anti LOVES being the only one Jameson has in the world, the one he has to come to when he’s upset or hurting. he loves that. Jameson gets more and more reliant on Anti’s affection and companionship to keep him company. he feels a need to repay it. he has stockholm syndrome. he loves Anti. he loves Anti. Anti is delighted. he’s being so good!! he’s so affectionate and obedient these days! the others can be Jack’s, fine, but JJ? JJ is HIS. and Jameson learns that as time goes on. Eventually he’s totally devoted to Anti, understands now that his place was always beside him. the others think it’s a fucking tragedy, but he’s probably past saving now. they never even got a chance to know him…

or maybe after nine months Anti just thinks of Henrik as his and it doesn’t really mean anything at first, you know, it’s just fun to torture him. but Anti’s getting bored of it so eventually he just lets Henrik out of his cell to wander, knowing he’s well-trained enough now to not try and escape. but Henrik is still his snarling, sarcastic, sassy self, which Anti still finds really entertaining, and if he gets the craving he can beat him anytime. Henrik’s random attempts at killing him and funny insults really keep life interesting for Anti and he’s glad for it. he was getting so bored, so despondent. nothing entertained him anymore. but Henrik’s still his snarky self, it really makes Anti laugh. there’s an angry sort of camraderie between them now that Henrik is realizing Anti’s never going to kill him. wait, is Anti kind of fond of him? he slaps Henrik just to check and geez, yeah, watching him stagger away and try to hold back tears and sniffle and clutch at his face isn’t half as fun as it used to be. this sucks. Henrik goes running off back to his room - cell - and Anti decides he wants to try something new. he starts actually… giving Henrik the things he needs?? like feeding him more than spam and canned corn? letting him have water? giving him a MATTRESS?? what is this? Henrik is so fucking confused but you know what, he’s not going to complain, not even if the mattress is next to Anti’s work space and the food’s probably poisoned and he knows this won’t last, right? but it does, Anti keeps feeding him and even giving him presents and stuff, giving him warm clothes and even books, books, Henrik has had nothing to focus on for months and now he devours his reading so vigorously it makes Anti laugh. he’s been trying to survive for so fucking long and now gratitude wells up inside of him and he can’t stop it no matter how hard he tries, especially because Anti isn’t even holding it over him or crowing about how he’s broken him or anything. he just kind of lets Henrik be. makes him sleep next to him and sometimes has him work on projects - physics shit, time travel or whatever, and Henrik is happy to do it, delighted to do it, to have something to work on. he’s still so fucking snarky, keeps making sly remarks at Anti, but now Anti just jokes back at him, and they snipe at each other all day and try to hide the fact that they’re laughing. Anti calls Henrik the biggest disaster of a man he’s ever met and Henrik, before he knows what he’s doing, is playing with Anti like he used to with his other brothers, pushing on his shoulder in vengeance, and then, when that only makes Anti smile, fussing over him and reprimanding him when he comes home hurt, stitching him up gently, making sure his caretaker is taken care of. Anti thinks he probably loves him and it stops him short. he gets Henrik lots of presents, loves picking weird shit out for him. Henrik becomes his greatest secret because he’s so territorial of him. no one can know he’s here. no one will take him away. Henrik is his now and he’s happy to be here. his head is so messed up after months of torture he can barely dream of freedom anymore anyway. he doesn’t really remember much of his life before this, like his head decided it was too painful not to have it. This is the only thing Anti regrets - Henrik’s fragility. He went too far with him for months on end and now his puppet is weak in both body and mind, often shivering through illnesses at Anti’s side on his mattress in the workspace, letting Anti stroke his hair.

or hey, maybe Jackie, right, the hero, the protector, the big brother. see some of them Anti thinks are just pathetic, but Jackie? alright, he has a respect for Jackie even from afar. and he hates him more than anyone else, because Jackie, more than anyone else’s, is Jack’s, Jack’s perfect defender. fuck, but Anti wants to squash that. Anti wants to see him crumple into a million pieces. Anti wants to turn him into everything he is not, just to mock Jack. the others start to get scared as they see Anti’s focus intensify on Jackie, warning him to stop going out so much, begging him to be more careful, terrified of what’s going to happen, but he just flashes a smile and promises he’ll be fine, don’t worry - and then, one day, he’s just gone, and Anti has him, and they can’t get him back, can’t find him. Anti’s hatred upon him is terrible, worse torture than Henrik’s, because it’s more personal than simple entertainment. and Jackie, fuck, who can blame him when he shatters? human beings aren’t meant to bear treatment like that. he starts begging, he starts crying, he starts throwing himself on the ground when Anti comes into his cell and sobbing for mercy, half out of his mind, frantic and spitting blood, staring up at him with pupils blown wide with terror, and Anti thinks it’s the most incredible thing he’s ever seen, almost too much power for him to bear. Jackie gives up secrets, gives up his brothers, gives up everything, partly delirious but mostly just desperate and dying, and Anti lets him drop to the ground once he sees that he’s broken him as much as it’s possible for him to be broken. and then, after that, oh - now he can be Anti’s instead of Jack’s! Anti’s protector, Anti’s attack dog! he builds Jackie back up careful, careful, gentle, gentle, disciplining him every step of the way to make sure that hero’s ferocity never comes back to bite him. look, it’s easy, there’s a method to the madness now! don’t talk without being asked a question and he won’t get shocked! don’t cry too loudly and he won’t get burned! be obedient and he can have food and sleep! oh, fuck, he catches a sight of himself in a puddle of water and feels horror, but Anti triggers his shock collar and he yelps and it’s gone again. he gets wilder and wilder, except for Anti - for Anti he is calm, trained to be protective and obedient, trained to be quiet and patient and waiting for orders. pretty soon he’s doing what he’s told, going where he’s taken, and killing whoever Anti points him at. he’s missed the thrill of a fight so fucking much and he’s being good!! he’s being rewarded!! it’s okay! who’s blood is this? was that JJ he just chased through the streets of a city like a hound after a fox, was Marvin the person he beat into unconsciousness last night while he screamed for Jackie to remember who he was, is it Chase he can hear crying? doesn’t matter! Anti’s happy with him. he laughs hysterically and goes crawling back to his master, and Anti is SO happy with him. Anti doesn’t love Jackie in the slightest, but he’s hugely affectionate for the idea of him broken like this. he buys him chew toys and brings him people to fight with so he has something to entertain him. Jackie becomes ferociously, wildly over-protective of Anti, growling at anyone who gets close.

or Marvin, Marvin! he’s so interesting, he’s bold and flashy and clever and talented and magical. maybe Anti just thinks he’s fun to play with, or maybe he’s interested in controlling that power. but Marvin isn’t like the others, he isn’t going to go down like that, isn’t going to respond well to flattering and comforting and syrup no matter what Anti does to wear him down. DON’T touch him, DON’T try to warm him up, DON’T call him your fucking brother!! doesn’t matter how much Anti does to him, Marvin will spit up blood and shove presents back at him, Marvin will curse him out and kick at him, Marvin DOES NOT WANT anything Anti has to give. he knows more than the others about how these things go and he knows the SLIGHTEST kindness he thanks Anti for is an irreversible foot in the door for the demon to get deeper in his head. Anti tries to tell him, “I just want to be friends, I want to be brothers, I just want - ” NO. FUCK. YOU. NO. NO. NO. HE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE. well, says Anti, that’s fine. he has other ways. Marvin ends up hypnotized so far out of his mind he forgets his own name. in days of world-spinning, complete confusion and amnesia, Anti preys on every single one of his own insecurities. You’re like me. You know you are. You never belonged with the others. You’re like me and you’re going to do what I tell you because you want to, not because I subdue you. Marvin begins to come around, though he fights for weeks and weeks against even this. Anti is fascinated. look at how he fights! nothing wears him down! nothing breaks him! his strength is… fuck, does Anti admire him? he wants Marvin more than any of the others now. it’s a power play, but he also just likes his spunk, his courage, his strength! eventually Marvin is so warped he’s just this furious, hateful thing, not even sure where all the anger comes from, just blindly dedicated to Anti, who lets him do whatever he wants as long as he stays loyal. Marvin dresses up every night and never looks anything less than perfectly put together and totally in control, to make up for the fact that his head is a whirlwind. he doesn’t have anything but Anti and he tells him absolutely everything, ranting and sobbing, trying to cope with the confusion and the loss inside him. Anti strokes his hair and promises him everything he needs. he worries, sometimes, that he took it too far, but it had to be done, it had to be done. eventually Marvin starts engaging in really self-destructive behaviors and it’s only then that Anti realizes how attached he’s become to him. he starts controlling Marvin more to take care of him, treating him like a fussy little kid, and Marvin is too sick and exhausted to fight anymore, just presses his face into Anti’s chest and lets him take away his knives and alcohol. he doesn’t remember anything but Anti and he hates himself, so he lets Anti’s darkness devour him whole.

or maybe plain Chase, the protagonist. i’ve always felt that Anti would have a certain disgust for Chase - childish, suffering, tearful Chase. Jack’s friend, ugh! but he can’t just kill him, no, no, no. that’s far too easy. he stalks Chase instead - stares at him from the backseat of the car, imitates him in the mirror just imperfectly enough that it makes the hair on Chase’s arms rise, sitting at his kitchen table and making him scream just before he disappears. it’s so fucking funny, at first, it’s the funniest thing Anti’s ever done, and he’s living for it, driving Chase absolutely out of his mind with terror. but then Chase just… Anti doesn’t know, he… really wants to die. it’s kind of… scary, actually. Anti retreats a little, starting to feel nervous when Chase screams and throws things and wails for the monster to leave him alone, leave him alone, leave him alone! oh, fuck, he can’t fucking take it anymore! eventually Anti stops thinking it’s funny. he’s tired of the games. he appears in full force and this time, doesn’t glitch away or disappear, just grabs Chase and drags him away. Chase screams the whole time, but his neighbors are used to it, so nobody comes. nobody is coming. nobody is watching. he ran far away from Jackie and Marvin and Henrik. they don’t know he’s here and won’t notice he’s gone. Chase is terrified out of his mind, hysterical, and he thrashes like he’s rabid for days, concussing himself against the wall he’s chained to, bruising himself black on the chains, and Anti’s just like you know what?? this is fucking horrible. i should just put this thing out of its goddamn misery. but he can’t quite do it… he’s watched Chase so long now, sometimes just in the quiet, staring at Chase while he slept or invisible beside him while he sat on the couch and drank. Chase is like a feral animal to Anti, and he’s fascinated by the way he acts. so okay he brings him a snack.

Chase is like what the fuck my withdrawal hallucination just brought me Cheetos

honestly… it’s easy after that. Chase is so, so tired, and Anti takes care of him. he doesn’t know why this is happening and he doesn’t care. it’s kind of ideal, he figures! everybody will assume he’s dead! no more responsibilities and complete absolution for dropping them! the demon starts to sit down with him sometimes and feed him himself, grinning when Chase says please and thank you. his smile is too big but his eyes are nice… really nice… really, really nice… Chase is so sleepy. he falls asleep on Anti’s chest and the demon rocks him and it makes him cry, because no one’s held him that gently in a long time and he’s well past caring about things like “dignity” and “being trapped in a bunker of some kind by a supernatural creature.” Anti only talks to him for the first time after several weeks of teaching Chase to be quiet and docile, and even then, Anti’s voice is very gentle and pleasant, and Chase feels sleepy and comfy and safe. eventually he’s let off his chains and he can move around a little if he’s quiet. Anti renames him and dresses him the way he wants, cutting his hair and giving him tattoos and stuff, and Chase just sits quiet, dozing against his thigh. Anti never once hurts him - Chase, he finds, can be disciplined just fine through isolation and stern warnings. he’s simple like that. Anti gets to be incredibly fond of him. he thinks of Chase as very stupid but likes him very much. sometimes Chase gets really upset as memories come rushing back to him and he realizes just how far he’s fallen, but it’s easy for Anti to just draw him back in, use a little hypnotism, soothe the worries away…. Chase hugs him and feels grateful Anti stole him. he understands by now that Anti is a very bad person - he’s seen him do horrible things - but he doesn’t care. Anti loves him and no one else, Chase believes, is going to do that. eventually Anti lets him have hobbies like cooking and gardening and stuff! Chase knows he’s a pet but he doesn’t have the willpower or a strong enough sense of alarm to try running away. it will probably be years before the others find him at all… whether or not they get him back, they’ll be heart-broken by what he’s become and completely confused as to why he’s so unscarred and healthy and apparently loved by Anti, and Chase won’t want to go back to them.

AND IT JUST GETS SO INTERESTING CAUSE THEN YOU CAN PUT DIFFERENT BOYS TOGETHER AND HAVE DIFFERENT THINGS HAPPEN AND THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH ANTI AND EACH OTHER ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT AND INTERESTING AND AHHHH I LOVE PUPPET BOYS SO MUCCHHHHHH

[sebastianshaw]

@sammysdewysensitiveeyes - I felt bad you weren’t getting a lot of Pyro content in canon, so I wrote you some!

The next member of their team was meant to be arriving today. She was going to be a...most unusual addition. She was human. Pyro didn’t like it. The entire POINT of Krakoa was to keep away from humans who would hurt them. And sure this human allegedly very much did NOT want that, it was why Xavier handpicked her to be involved, and Xavier could vet a person inside and out...but Pyro couldn’t help WORRYING. Maybe she wasn’t a conscious plant, but what if someone was using her without her knowing? How was Xavier checking for THAT? Maybe the rest of Krakoa was happy to put their fate in the hands of men like him and Magneto and Sebastian Shaw, but Pyro was of the firm opinion that the guys on top never really had the best interest of the bottom at heart. But that didn’t mean he’d pass up a chance to roast some Verendi pigs, which was what had just been provided---the ship of their new ally had been attacked en route, big surprise, and thus the current crew of the Marauder---Sebastian, Shinobi, and Pyro---had been deployed to intervene. Shinobi kept their own boat safe while Pyro and Sebastian boarded the other---just in time to witness one of the Verendi hurling a sari-clad woman off the deck by her throat. “Allerdyce, take care of the rest,” said Shaw, tearing his shirt and jacket off with his bear---er, bare---hands. Not taking it off, literally TEARING. “Are you kidding?!” Pyro asked, shocked both at Shaw’s apparent intentions and at how beefed up the old bastard was under those tailored suits. Like he had eyes, he could tell the guy was huge, but JEEZUS. “I’m not having my team fail this early,” Shaw said, “And besides--” The rest came out mid-air as he dove into the drink, “--you’re hardly in swimming shape.” Secretly hoping he ‘teammate’ drowned, Pyro returned to the fray, gleefully keeping the Verendi at bay with his flames. That was the easy part. The hard part was not blowing them up in their stupid suits, or boiling them alive, or--- “ALLERDYCE!” he heard the oh-so-charming shout of his new ‘boss’ barking for him, just as the fun was over. “What, did you--” Pyro started to ask as he hustled over, admittedly not as fast as he could have. “Do the damn chest compressions!” Shaw cut him off. The woman, soaking wet and unconscious--or worse--was laid out on the deck. “Why--” “Because at my current strength I will pulverize her bones!” Shaw bellowed. Pyro didn’t like taking orders from Shaw, but he wasn’t about to let this lady die right in front of him either if half of what he’d heard about her was true, no matter what his misgivings might be about involving her in the Marauders. So he duly obeyed with the compressions, as well as mouth to mouth just so Shaw couldn’t. Because f this woman was an ally to mutantkind she deserved better than that. It worked. She gasped, her body jolting. “Alright, there she is” said Shaw, “You keep her conscious, Allerdyce---someone has to steer this ship.” With that, he departed to find the helm and radio Shinobi to let him know all was well, and knock out any remaining hostiles. Pyro glared at his back as he went, but then quickly turned his attention back to the semi-conscious woman, who was moving slightly now, her eyes glazed. She said something unsteadily in a foreign language. Well, in a language that wasn’t English; Pyro had been a foreigner in Southeast Asia and learned it really a matter of perspective. Speaking of that... “That Gujarati, love?” he asked gently. He couldn’t speak it nor understand it, but he thought he recognized it. He’d never got as far as India in his travels as a journalist, but he’d encountered this language in Singapore, Indonesia, and Malayasia. Sounded a bit different from her though, maybe because she was from India directly. Or just because she was terribly waterlogged. She mumbled something else weakly in the same tongue, putting one of her hands to her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t speak it,” he said, truly apologetic. The was woman silent for a moment, and her eyes closed. Oh no. Had he lost her? God, Shaw was never going to let him hear the end of it! Then she opened them, and said, “I apologize, I do speak English, I just...needed a moment.” “Take two, you earned ‘em,” Pyro smiled relieved. She began sitting up slowly, and Pyro helped her. “I...assume you saved me?” “Well, I helped,” he said, then amended, “Someone else go you out from the drink but I did the rest, getting you breathing again and all.” “Thank you, so much, I really have no idea what to say,” she sounded rather awed. Oh man, he’d forgotten what it was like to be a superhero! He’d never much cared for that life in general, the idea of just DOING things for people for nothing in return, especially people who HATED you for EXISTING as a mutant, but there had been a few times in Freedom Force like this where he felt really GOOD when people were actually grateful. “Aw it’s---it’s nothing, all in a day’s work really,” he said, puffing his chest as best he could, which was nigh-imperceptible given how skinny he was. “You have my deepest gratitude all the same. You also have a good ear---that was indeed Parsi Gujarati. “Ohhh!” Pyro was pleased he’d been right, “Is that why it sounded a bit off from what I heard ‘round Jakarta?” “You do indeed have a good ear! Yes, it’s very distinct. For instance, we use much softer consonants-- They were interrupted by Shaw’s sardonic tone over the intercom, “ I can see our guest is conscious, Mr. Allerdyce, so if you’re quite done flirting, send her to the helm for briefing before we get to the portal. At your leisure, of course.” Pyro did not say ass aloud but it was very, very much written on his face. *** Pyro was waking up waaay to early at Blackstone, specifically in Shinobi’s ridiculously oversized bed, Shinobi himself beside him. Pyro could tell his companion was going to be out cold for a long time yet, and probably wish he’d slept longer when he did wake up. Pyro would have preferred to just stay in bed himself, but nature called. And after a good long piss into the en suite bathroom---kind of surprised that the toilet wasn’t solid gold, although it did have more features than Shinobi’s phone---Pyro himself had yet to adjust to fancy celluars---found himself restless, and undergoing his typical post-drinking cravings for something salty. Kind of weird since wasn’t booze supposed to dehydrate you, but whatever, old man Shaw surely had some kind of super-fancy dried unicorn meat from a lost continent or whatever hanging around somewhere. He just needed to find it. But the place was a maze. Gilded maze, he made a mental note of that for one of his novels as he wandered the huge halls, intending to use it in the internal monologue of the heroine lost in the Marquis’s opulent mansion that nonetheless held an overbearing evil in its walls as potent and palpable in the air as that in his black heart. Actually shit, some of the decor in this place would make for great--- “Wider than a highway, huh?” Pyro had been so lost in cataloguing the fancy bric-a-brac along the way that he’d not noticed it had been joined by a flesh and blood person. Well, maybe flesh and blood, they looked silver. Certainly all the skin he could see was, which was a lot given their short little black robe, though he in his boxers certainly wasn’t about to be scandalized. Wait, silver skin? “Mindmeld, right?” “Shinobi tell you about me?” she was smirking a little. “Yeah, something like that,” he replied. It was suddenly really hard not to say something rude, given WHAT Shinobi had told him, but reminded himself if this woman was fucking Shaw, she deserved PITY more than anything. Plus it wouldn’t do to piss off her off before she told him where she got that coffee cup in her hand. “He didn’t tell me where to find the kitchen though.” “Which one?” Oh god of course there’d be more than one, Shaw probably didn’t want his food prepared in the same area as Shinobi’s guests since they were all people like Pyro. He groaned, lowering his head and burying his long bony fingers in his dandelion puff blond curls, “Just whichever one has some eggs and espresso.” “Come on,” she gestured lightly and turned, leading the way. Damn tall drink of water, might have been taller than Shaw, though far less broad than he was, but more so than Pyro...admittedly, that range probably covered almost everyone on the planet. She didn’t ask his name, so he offered his with some pride, “I’m Pyro, I’m one of the Marauders.” “Neat.” “‘Spect Mr. Shaw has a few things to say about me.” She looked mildly thoughtful a moment, “Uh...no, never mentioned you. I think I’ve heard the Marauders, but not Pyro.” “How about Mr. Allerdyce?” “Definitely not.” Ok, he was kind of insulted now, not by Mindmeld but he took it out on her anyway with a snippy, “Well he hasn’t mentioned you either.” She just gave him a funny look.” “Sorry,” he said abashed at how stupid and spiteful he sounded, “We just don’t get on too well, me and Sebastian.” “What a surprise.” “So you know he’s a pompous asshole.” “Oh yeah, it’s hilarious,” she said, “Like the other day,  these two like, total Eurotrash blonds come in, and he told them they were living proof of how inbreeding ruined the royal Austrian family tree or something, I don’t know, and I just told the guy he shouldn’t wear black if he’s not going to clean the semen stains off it first. The girl, her outfit was great, but nothing I could say was going to be worse than that Basic Bitch haircut.” “So what, you two just hang around talking shit about everyone else like we’re dirt on your shoes?!” Any regret he had about being snippy was suddenly gone. “Yeah, pretty much,” she said, her blase tone not changing. He started to say something else but she turned her head to him and said, tone still the same, “Look, if you’re gonna get precious, I can leave you right here. Next person to find you will probably be him, you know. He’s always up crazy early.” It was a potent threat. Normally Pyro was not afraid at all to deal with that hirsute egomaniac, but in his current state, he was not fit for the battle of barbs. “No, no, lead the way,” he sighed. “Cool,” Mindmeld turned her gaze front again and added, “Sorry you’re mad I’m his dick puppet.” If Pyro had a liquid in his mouth he would have spit it out. He must have made some kind of sound, because she asked, “What, Shinobi not mention that?” “He uh...he mentioned it a lot, yeah. “Good,” she smiled at him, and turned away. Weird. They got to small kitchen, very normal looking. So much so that it felt almost surreally out of place. “Drip’s over there,” Mindmeld pointed. Okay, nice, Shaw had a proper espresso machine. No surprise, he probably kept a full roasting machine and French press and other fancy barista shit in HIS kitchen---he was obviously not using THIS one. While he put on the drip, Mindmeld sat down and started playing idly with a phone left on table, obviously hers. Pyro was sure the bowl of Lucky Charms next to it surely wasn’t Sebastian Shaw’s. “You uh, live here?” “Yeah basically,” she did not look up from her phone, “Beats public housing.” Pyro realized he hadn’t thought about how everyone on Krakoa was living; he’d been basically on a boat the whole time himself. “What, is it bad?” he asked, imagining the crowded slums he’d seen in some of his travels, as well as the crappier apartments he’d stayed in, which was most. “Nah, but this is better.” “Yeah well, the rent seems high to me.” “You just have a different landlord.” “Hey, I’m nobody’s kept--” The espresso shot was ready, and it going off gave him a moment to cool down again. “Sorry, there’s nothing wrong with...with you,” he said, after taking his cup and sitting down across from her, “I just feel bad for Shinobi, he says you two used to be..” . “Together? Kinda, yeah. He tell you the part where he left me to die? or before that, where I was stuck in somebody else’s body and he was still ready to put the guy through a depowering machine while I was inside him?” “I, uh...no.” Was there some kind of mistake? He’d thought Shinobi was harmless. He knew the guy was selfish and spoiled, but it was hard to imagine him that cold. “Yeah, I bet not,” she said, her tone still the same, “He doesn’t seem like he has it in him, does he?” “Uh...no.” “Well, even a rat will bite if it’s back is against the wall,” her eyes rose from her phone and met his intensely, “So if you’re in deep shit, don’t count on him to pull you out.” They went back to her phone,  “He’s beautiful though so, you know, keep doing what you’re doing, I’m not judging.” “Uh...” Pyro had no idea what to say to this, “So is that why...” He had thought it had been money, since anything Shinobi had was actually coming from Sebastian, but now he wondered if it was for... “Vengeance? Pyro nodded. “Could you think of a BETTER way?” Pyro admitted he could not. “You must be pretty dedicated,” he said, still not able to get the ‘ick’ feeling quite out. It wasn’t the idea of sex for benefits his skin was crawling at, it was sex with SHAW. He supposed he could see the physical appeal if that man wasn’t so personally repulsive, but... “I mean, I just came back to life like this month” she shrugged idly, “I’ve got nothing from before to go back to, I’ve got nothing else going on.” “I don’t know, you look like you got it going on to me,” Pyro gave an exaggerated wink. That made her snort-laugh. Okay, he felt they were good now. And he felt suddenly a lot warmer to her. Not from knowing she had better reasons than he thought---the reasons unsettled him actually---but because of how similar their situations were. A situation doubtless shared by many Krakoans but he hadn’t had a real chance yet to talk to many Krakoans. He had planned to spend today fixing that actually, going and finding out if what few friends he’d had in his life before were here now. Like Dom. Wondered if Mindmeld had any, a Dom or a Mort or a Fred. Kinda doubted it, somehow. “Hey, uh, listen,” he began. She looked up from her phone. “Do you wanna go...check out the island with me? I been at sea since I came back, I don’t know what’s on it, but there’s got to be SOMETHING people been doing all day for fun, right?” She regarded him a long moment. “Yeah,” she finally said, “I’d like that."

[she-ra-cat-ra]

I’m honestly just kinda bored and decided to make this for no real reason. I like doing fic recs because I think I have taste but some of these.... kinda aren't good lol it’s more of what stuck with me through the years.   

So yeah List of fics that were important to me and that were on my fanfantion.net fave list and may or may not be good: 

What The Eyes Can't See : The only fic on this list that made it over from my very first fanfic.net account that has now been lost to time. This was the fic that got me into long fics It’s a Bleach fic and made me super disappointed that Tatsuki never got to do anything as cool as she does in this fic, at least when I actually watched/read it.  Also, my mom found my bookmark of it and had to have a talk with me because she ended up reading the smut bits. You can’t even read the whole thing on fanfic.net, parts had to be cut when they did that purge of smut years and years ago

Timely Errors: I love time travel more than like any other trope. Harry Potter goes back in time is pretty common but this fic is pretty rare in that it still pretty good. Plus it’s cute and made me cry. And whats funny is that it’s a small bit at the end that I remember the most, where Ron has no idea that something is wrong until Hermione gives Harry an extra piece of cake then he just Knows has stuck with me for years because it’s so cute and sad and just so.... idk the perfect way I’ve seen their friendship expressed?  

Hourglass For some reason the general outline of this fic has been in my head since 2009 when I first read this 142k beast of a fic. I had just started to really get into fandom and Kingdom Hearts was poping. The idea of an older vision of the nice main character coming backward in time but is really mean and jaded because the future sucks really stuck with me. Also, there is a throwaway line about how Mulan lost her husband in the war but continues to fight anyway and Mickey Mouse has a moment to be sad about it has also stuck with me because what the fuck 

Wait This fic is here more because I kept thinking over the idea more than the actual fic, I mean it’s a little bit of a mess because it’s a songfic and the way it’s written through a couple of lifetimes BUT the idea of someone who is the Avatar's companion and gets reincarnation randomly instead of in order is one that I’ve thought about a LOT because of this fic. You again? is same thing but I like the actual fic more as the idea that the companion isn’t always a lover and they kill each other about half the time is a good one.  

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend ok look this is not a list of fics that are 100k and have great plots etc etc this is a list of fics that have stuck with me and for some reason, this Icarly fic is one of them. I have no idea why but it is funny and cute and I love the idea that Sam is wanted in France for stealing the Eiffel tower

Lily Potter and the Worst Holiday  I love the idea of two universes clashing together and seeing two that aren't great, as both had a lot of people die including a young Ron and Hermoine because Harry wasn’t there, stuck with me. 

Many Thanks this fic made me cry AT LEAST three times, just thinking of it makes me tear up man. And it keeps going way longer than you think but in a good way? Not only does it have time travel but instead of being in the traveler's point of view, it’s from a bystander. It’s just... ugh the idea of it is great and it just works really well. I just love me some badass Hermione.  

Old Bones just a little fic that made me go, ‘oh shit maybe seeing everything underground after a 100-year war could end up fucking up a 12 ear old’ 

Awkward Once again this is a list of fics that stuck with me and for some reason this one did. No idea why since I didn’t even ship Raven/Starfire but it’s pretty cute 

City of Ghosts such a weird little Xena Fic but it’s weird in a canon kind of way? Like yeah, that could be in a Xena episode. This fix it fic works pretty well at what it’s going for I guess. I so love Gabrielle, or her reincarnation kicking ass and saving Xena

ab igne ignem capere  AU where Azula was born first so she isn’t the favorite. Great idea and I loved the style but it’s unfinished and it’s such a shame too. 

Alone, Together Oh my god this is where my love of weird plots came from. I LOVE this fic and I think about it all the time. The idea of two people having to be alone together for YEARS and they actually fall in love and have to work at it for it to work but they do it!!! Only to have all of that taken away, memories and all??? And now they have to deal with where they were before that all happened and just UGH what a fic man. 

And The Whole World Tilted this fic made me cry and still kinda does and since it’s a iCarly fic that's impressive 

A Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other back at it again with the weird plot. The idea that Rachel Berry loves planning and bossing people so much that she ends up dating Quinn with Finn as a puppet is very funny and is super in character. 

A Million Miles Of Fun this fic is so dumb but every once in a while I think ‘lol remember that fic where Faberry and Brittana kill a ton of people and it was like 100k and kinda good?’  

The Line Between Jealousy and Hate this fic really really got me when I was younger. It’s a KND fic and the idea that 86 hates boys because she’s a lesbian is kinda overplayed in fandom a lot but idk man this fic hit me hard when I wasn’t out yet. 

Just off the Key of Reason is Quinn out of character in this fic? Yes. Is there any plot? No . Have I read this fic and all its sequels like 100 times?  Yes because it’s pure wonderful fluff 

Animals and Prizes .....OK I need you to listen to me. Do I want to remember this fic so much? No not really but can one really forget their first alpha/omega fic? I read this fic way back in 2013, I was in high school!  Honestly, everything considered it’s better than you would think, I mean it has an actual plot 

Those Gilded Chains We Wear this fic got me in two ways. One: I love me some dark ladies with a Past that fall in love with some good-hearted person and grow from it. Two: a kinda weird plot where Hermione and Bellatrix have a magic bond thing because Bella, of her own free will, leaves Voldemort and the magic bond thing is the only way to make sure she isn’t lying. Re-reading it now I don’t enjoy it as much, as Hermione just takes way way too much crap but it’s still enjoyable. The idea that Bellatrix is actually legally insane and should be treated for it is nice and the idea that magic could affect how mental illness shows up in a person is cool. 

Dark Energy Yo not one other fanfic series has made me cry as much as Dark Energy. I usually hate re writes fics but Dark Energy makes it work really really well. The first is pretty plain compared to the others but by the second it just nails it. By far this is my favorite Mass Effect fic and it’s differently effected how I see characters in the game. 

Sight the King once again I got taken in by weird plot. I mean you know how rare season 0 fics are in Yu-Gi-Oh? Super rare and this one is what happens when you realize season 0 is super fucked up, I mean people get set on fire and that's like three times! So yeah seeing Yugi deal with waking up at the scene of four-ish murders with blood on his hands and realizing that no one is going to belive him is just great. A+ for the great tone too, the writing is great and it’s by far the most in-character fic out there for this time period 

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 13: 1x10 The Corbomite Maneuver

So I watched The Corbomite Maneuver with my mom and B together today. It was interesting... Tbh I would almost rather watch each ep twice with each of them alone but I figure there’s no non-rude way to say that lol.

At any rate this is one of my favorite episodes. Heck I should just rewatch it by myself lol.

Bailey’s out here in the wilds of undiscovered space ad he’s complaining lol, way to make a first impression.

Spock’s so intense in this early episodes. He likes to raise his voice a lot.

Oh no, it’s.... a windows screen saver!

That sounds mocking but I love the little floating space buoy.

Uh, Sulu, steer around it.

Spock: “Lol why are you yelling??”

Spock in the Captain’s chair: hot.

Kirk working up a sweat: also hot.

Pre-Chekov, the Navigator seat was definitely cursed.

Love how Kirk doesn’t even bother to put his shirt on when he walks out of medbay. Such gratuitous nudity.

McCoy and Kirk are so good in this episode. I feel like people put too much emphasis on McCoy’s grumpiness--he is and you can see that, but he’s also rather sweet and funny. “I’m a doctor, not a moon shuttle conductor.” “I’m going to start talking to myself.”

Kirk walking through the hallways: Lady Gaga plays over the PA system.

(This is a walk walk fashion baby reference.)

Is changing first really necessary? This is an emergency situation.

But of course he doesn’t bother to totally put on the shirt before he calls Spock.

“Have you considered getting your adrenaline gland removed?” At least Sulu appreciate Spock’s humor.

Scotty: I don’t know what’s going on here. And that’s my report.

“I’ll take that into consideration... when this becomes a democracy.”

Twenty-fourth century staff meetings: still a drag! Sulu literally falling asleep at the desk.

“And you don’t recommend sticking around.” Come on guys, laugh at the Captain’s joke! (He’s such a nerd omg.)

The infamous Emotional Security Scene... Honestly Spock don’t you know the main job of a First Officer is to provide emotional security?

Also they’re in love just fyi.

“Gentleman, do your homework, or I shall send you to your rooms.”

He demands the best from everyone but no one more than himself!!!

If Bailey was promoted too fast then how did 22 year old Ensign Chekov end up with the navigator position?

GREEN LEAVES? FOR A MEAL?

Lbr a male yeoman would be no easier for Confirmed Bisexual Captain Kirk.

A red alert! Excellent excuse to abandon the salad.

I gotta say I still don’t know what that big-ass ball is? A planet? A ship? A space station? I think a space station. Anyway it looks too much like a virus for me.

Kirk introducing the Enterprise as an Earth vessel... ah the good UESPA days.

I adore this Kirk speech. It’s really the essence of Star Trek to me. The core of the utopian vision of traveling out into the unknown with good intentions and goodwill and optimism and hope. We want to meet new beings and make new friends. And when we have misunderstandings, we continue to believe that our core good faith will be reciprocated. I’ve just been really disheartened by all the bad faith in the world, and it makes me value good faith more and that’s what Kirk and the Enterprise crew always had, and it’s so soothing.

Also this is the speech Simon P/gg literally just wholesale stole from so there is that.

Sulu out here doing two jobs because Bailey’s asleep at the wheel.

Well at least Spock’s enjoying himself, learning new things.

Bailey, go to your room.

“Jim, it’s time for my allotted single use of your first name.”

This is another good K/S moment though!! Their connection! That “I’m sor--” Fuck that’s good shit.

Bones, breaking out the threat of making notations in the official record again. That really is his main weapon and I love that.

“Bones, you’ve given me a great idea--poker!” Kirk’s so smart. I love him so much. I don’t have anything deep to say I just adore him.

WHAT

WHAT

I COMPLETELY FORGOT THIS WAS IN HERE. RANDOM SAREK REFERENCE I’M???

Like.... my mom and I are still talking about this. He’s just gonna interrupt the crisis to be like “hey this random alien reminds me of my father, who was also distant and authoritarian and a little scary but whose approval I desperately seek to this day.” And everyone’s like “weird?” and Spock’s like “my dad’s great though even though I haven’t spoken to him in nearly twenty years.”

Did Sulu set that countdown up himself?

More K/S flirting. “You interested in poker, Mr. Spock? I’d.... love to teach it to you.”

A great Sulu expression there.

Kirk’s really having fun now. At least he and Spock are having a good day.

“I hope I’ve satisfied your curiosity, SPOCK.”

Janice is so underrated. Using a phaser to make coffee.

Scotty just wants a BREAK lol, give him and the ship some REST.

Another thing I love about Kirk is that he never hesitates to do whatever he has to do to save other beings. Ever. There is no question that if the alien is in distress, he’s going to save the alien. And Spock seems kinda surprised at this but like he really shouldn’t be? He is himself a pacifist who cares deeply about protecting life.

Taking Dr. McCoy to take care of the aliens and Baily to learn some stuff.

“Captain, permission to--” “Denied.” Wow, rude.

Spock just wants to see the aliens.

“I need you here” tho??

This is one of the few times they actually discussed what they were beaming into lol.

Lol @ McCoy not feeling adventurous.

What a decadent little alien.

I’d actually forgotten about the puppet face... I’d only remembered what the real alien looked like, not that he had a fake persona. I find it a little weird that he thought he knew enough about humans to know what they would find scary or not--I guess he might have been able to tell by looking at them when they did get their connection going, that they were much bigger than he was, at least.

Spock would have LOVED this opportunity to check out the alien ship.

I love the ultimate Lesson of the ep but I also can’t BELIEVE Kirk is out here just giving away Starfleet officers.

So... I get that the distress call was fake because he wanted to test them--a test Kirk passed EASILY btw--but was the rest of it real? Did he really take offense at their destruction of the buoy? What is the point of the buoy? (Because it really did seem designed to keep people away.) Was he really going to kill them, or take them prisoner? Is the First Federation real?

Like many other Star Trek episodes, it leaves a lot of questions for further consideration.

I like to think the First Federation is real and that Balok was just on the outer edges of THEIR space (hence why he’s all alone) and that eventually the First Federation and the United Federation become friends, perhaps with Bailey as Ambassador.

Also it’s way too late and I’m still hungry and so I can’t really unpack this but...there’s also the whole question of how Kirk sees himself in Bailey. I mean there’s a lot to contemplate in that. I didn’t think Bailey was all that tbqh and he also wasn’t what I picture young Kirk to be (not nerdy enough) but he was obviously included to give us yet another aspect of the Captain, in what my mom rightfully pointed out was his big introduction (considering this is literally ep 2 in production order).

Next up: The Menagerie Part One! Some good old Pike action.

[umbreeonic]

just got out of tros

things i liked:

- the scene where finn and poe are playing chess with chewie

- about 80% of trio moments

- lando........ a king. confirming original trilogy ot3 (in my heart)

- when rey activated her lightsaber and then poe turned on his flashlight that was so FUNNY

- the IDEA of the dyad was as cool as it was ??? and the scene where they fight and objects pass between their locations was. kinda cool ngl

- rey healing the snake worm. it was a weird moment but i loved it and the snake worm was CUTE

- c3po was genuinely funny in this movie they used him well

- force ghost luke... dad material

- the parallel of the sith talking in rey’s head and then the jedi talking in her head...... inspired

- force sensitive finn

- “general.” “general.”

- WHEN THE BOYS AND REY SEE EACH OTHER IN THE CROWD AND RUN TO EACH OTHER AND JUST HOLD EACH OTHER TIGHT........ PEAK ROMANCE

- yellow lightsaber rights let rey be a gray jedi

- rey skywalker.............

things i DIDNT like:

- the PACING......... atrocious

- the entire thing felt like a movie adaptation of a fanfiction like what

- palpatine was just. common knowledge. hello

- the BEGINNING WAS SO BAD WHAT WAS THAT

- snoke being a CLONE. why was the droid rey guy right

- palpatine’s plan made no sense was sheev just bored without the drama that came from the clone wars era

- i’m gonna. i’m gonna make a puppet. to make a NEW empire. and i’m gonna have him. corrupt leia skywalkers kid. and then. i’m gonna have him order that kid to kill my granddaughter. several times. and have the puppet try and kill her too. and have the entire new empire i have set up try to kill her. everyone’s gonna try and kill her. even i will tell the skywalker kid to kill her! but PLOT TWIST. i want her alive! even though i’ve been actively trying to get everyone to kill her. like directly been trying to set up her death. and when she gets here (if she isn’t killed cause i told people to kill her) i’ll have her kill ME. so that i and all my dead buddies can possess her and RULE the galaxy!!! but actually i’m going to just suck her life essence into me to heal my zombie body and rule MYSELF!!!!! there is no way my plan can go wrong

- why does he have a son. did sheev have a wife and kids while he was a politician i can’t imagine him procreating while pale and wrinkly

- if they wanted rey to be related to palpatine why not make her a midichlorian baby........

- i couldn’t take the sith fleet seriously i laughed every time it was on screen

- why did the title drop, u know when the jedi are all telling rey to rise, solidifying her as the skywalker who is rising, making her a skywalker, happen Before the kiss. she became a skywalker before the kiss

- ignoring the gross implications of rey and kylo together for a second. what was their development exactly??? they tried to kill each other, leia dies, rey leaves him alive but with no way of escape, he somehow gets to the sith planet and fights sheev with her, she dies, he pulls a snape and then heals her. that’s. that’s not enough to warrant a kiss hello

- speaking of the kiss half the theater cheered for it -_-

- also. i think kylo ren holding rey’s corpse was the part of the movie i hated the most like oh my god?? that was disgusting

- finn and poe, while they got some good moments, they didn’t. have a lot to do after rey went off alone

- poe being a drug dealer. bad!

- the whole story was just....... a scavenger hunt, basically. this is star wars not dora

- leia’s death made no sense did she just die of sadness like her mom. like oh i gotta reach out to my son through the force but he’s so evil and lost!! it will take my whole strength 😔

- also the reason she gave up her jedi training made no sense??? she gets a vision her son is gonna die so she gives luke her lightsaber to pass on when the time is right. the leia /I/ know would be using her lightsaber to defend the cradle

- NOT RESOLVED WHAT FINN WAS GONNA TELL REY. YOU CANT USE THAT AS THE BUTT OF JOKES IF U DONT FUCKING RESOLVE IT

- rey’s parents were so stupid like okay she was hidden like luke and leia sure fine. luke was hidden with his aunt and uncle who raised him with love. leia was hidden with a trusted politician who raised her with love. rey was sold into slavery and wasn’t raised at all cause she was like 5 and was SOLD into SLAVERY

- what was that deus ex machina....... lando i love u but huh?

- THE SCENE WHERE REY AND KYLO REN PLAY FORCE TUG OF WAR AND SHE ACCIDENTALLY LIGHTNINGS...... THAT WAS SO DUMB. i did find it funny at least and that was absolutely the most fanfiction part of the movie

in conclusion: it wasn’t QUITE as bad as i was expecting. there were a handful of moments i really liked. but was it a good movie? no it was pretty bad