#the idea of him thinking he’s the highest authority on morality is so cool

[ponchusjbonchus]

would you join his cult chat

(got super lazy with the coloring,,please forgive)

[flightfoot]

You think is hypocrisy if someone hates a creator and the books it has created. Claimig this person is like this because writes this. Encourage others not to buy its stuff. Because the books are bad. Don't give this bad person your money. Yet that same person still reads its books via free pdf or from the library. And makes fanart or fix it fics of the same thing they claim they hate.

Not talking about JKR and Harry Potter by the way.

Eh... I think it kind of depends on how far it goes. Especially in cases where the person hates the books or whatever other things the person creates though, and thinks that no one should pay money for it to support the dissemination of it, but makes sure to get ahold of it themselves because they still like aspects of it... maybe somewhat?

Thing is, people can have some pretty terrible opinions, prejudices, and beliefs, and have those appear in their works, and still write deep, engaging stories with interesting characters that capture reader's imaginations and have a lot of themes and plots that resonate with people. Even books and stories with some bad things in them, or have authors who have done something wrong, can still have some engaging things to say, as much as a lot of people will try to pretend otherwise. The world just ain't divided that neatly into "Good, pure books with only perfect, well-written, inoffensive stories and themes created by authors who are of the highest moral caliber" and "Awful, vile books that are written like crap, that have no appeal to them outside of those that like the awful themes and messages contained within, and that are produced by only the most degenerate creators." That ain't how it works. And you can like some aspects of something, even if other aspects are awful.

Like, I grew up with Cardcaptor Sakura. It was the first anime I watched and the first manga I read, and for the most part, it still holds up! It has gorgeous artwork, a nice, gentle story with great characters that's just very nice and pleasant to read, and even has a really nice queer couple, with Touya/Yukito (still boggles my mind that as a kid, I didn't realize they were together, but then again, I literally didn't know that homosexuality was a thing at that age.)

...it also normalizes pedophelia and teacher/student relations. Like. A lot. One of Sakura's eleven-year-old classmates, Rika, is secretly engaged to her twenty-something elementary school teacher, with her friends aware that she has an older boyfriend (though not who, exactly, it is), and speculating that part of the reason for Rika's maturity might be due to having an older boyfriend. Plus there's the relationship that Touya had with his student-teacher Kaho when he was around 13, and she was... probably in her early twenties? She would've been an adult at least. And of course, the relationship between Sakura's own parents, Fujitaka and Nadeshiko, with Fujitaka being Nadeshiko's student-teacher, and meeting and impregnating her when she was sixteen. Her family do scorn Fujitaka because of that, but then eventually accept him years later due to both Sakura's efforts, and Nadeshiko's happiness the whole time she was with him.

I still think it's worth reading and has a lot of good stuff in it, but I wouldn't hand it to anyone in the actual target audience because of the dangers of normalizing these kinds of relationships for someone who's still learning what typical relationships should look like, I'd save it for a teen at least, someone who I was confident would recognize what sorts of lessons and themes should be taken to heart, and which are bad ideas.

And hell, as much as I hate and loathe saltfics and feel physically ill seeing them, I'm not going to say that everything in them is terrible with no appeal. A lot of them ARE decently written and have cool stuff inside, so long as you're willing to accept the premises that Adrien's a spineless doormat and a sexual harasser and deserves for Marinette to hurt him, or that Alya's violent, cruel, and stupid and hasn't accomplished anything by her own merits, and deserves to be blacklisted from journalism.

But like, when I first started in the ML fandom, I still read some of this stuff, even though I didn't believe it or like those aspects. I was really into this one fic (yes I know where it is, no, please don't link it, I can't stand the sight of it now), where Marinette got hit with an akuma that made "Marinette" vanish, leaving only Ladybug, with only the memories of being Ladybug, and everyone else panicking because they don't know where Marinette went, and also trying to figure out why Ladybug's acting so strangely. That's a really cool idea and I loved that, I just really wish that Chameleon salt wasn't involved in it.

So I don't think that liking things that you think have some bad things in them, or where the creators have beliefs you think are immoral, is hypocritical or wrong. It's part of critical thinking to be able to recognize what aspects of something are good and should be cherished, and which aspects are bad and should be discarded - and which things you'd normally think of as bad have a greater purpose within the context of the work that actually adds value to it.

I do think that Tumblr often goes way, WAY overboard in its condemnation though, which ends up hurting the authors and stories that at least TRY to be inclusive, but do so questionably in some aspects, moreso than ones that are blatantly bigoted. The people who are attracted to works that at least attempt to be inclusive and fair end up attracting people who are looking for that kind of thing, and then end up being held to impossible and often contradictory standards, with the people who like at least some aspects of them then taking any perceived fault as an excuse to eviscerate the author, the story, and just try to direct as many hateful comments at them as possible, sometimes even directly if they know the author's social media, and try to hurt them in some divine Crusade, almost. While the people who write the really, blatantly, purposely bigoted stuff ironically end up with fewer and less extreme accusations and hateful comments directed at them, since generally the groups that would be attracted to those works are far less exacting.

Personally, it takes a LOT to piss me off. I may not like some aspects of something, but in order to really get me riled up, it's gonna have to be very blatant, extreme, and unavoidable within whatever community I'm in, for a long time. I can shrug off most things so long as they don't seem to be intentionally malicious, or if I can reasonably avoid having contact with it.

[maldito-arbol]

Let’s talk about zodiacs and TPN Part 1

This is largely inspired by the fact that I talk about the characters’ zodiacs nonstop in the fanfic I’m working on for my tpn witch au, and I’ve been chortling to myself the entire time about how well some of them fit their sign and how some of them just... don’t. I’m going to simply infodump about each character, their sign, element, and some attributes they fit to a t while others don’t make sense. I will also touch on compatibility for all you shippers out there, don’t worryyy. Now this isn’t at all a critique or review of the characters themselves— I know astrology is not the first thing authors consider when choosing character birthdays, if they even do at all, this is simply me rambling about my hyperfixation and projecting onto fictional characters like we all do.

A couple last notes— one character in particular (cough cough Ray) has a different “canon” birthdate from “actual” so I’ll discuss both. Also, while I will be doing surface level research to make sure I’m not talking out of my ass, im not a professional astrologist, I’m simply a witch with an enthusiasm for zodiacs. Well then, without further ado, let’s talk about the kiddos.

Emma

Birthdate: August 22nd

Sign: Leo

Element: Fire

An overview: The funniest thing to me about Emma is that she’s literally the epitome of a Leo. Fire signs are generally very outgoing and energetic—they talk a lot and tend to be the leaders of the packs. Leos in particular are incredibly admirable and truly know their way around a conversation. If I ever wanted to get stuck in an elevator for 48 hours with no wifi or connection to the outside world and only one random stranger to talk to for the entire duration, I would pick a Leo in a heartbeat. Emma is very much the leader-type, she’s someone everyone pauses and listens to when she calls for their attention, and she always prefers to talk her way out of conflict rather than fight—but not in an underhanded manipulative way, no, Leos are very genuine with their feelings and will be upfront about their reasons for their actions.

Take this scene between Emma and Leuvis for example— this to me is about the closest to perfect of a summary of what Leos are like, and how Emma fits her sign beautifully.

She doesn’t want to fight, but she will if she has to—for the good of her friends and the good of humanity. She can stick to her ideals and yet extend a hand to the enemy anyway. This is what makes Leos such a force to be reckoned with in leadership roles.

Compatibility and ships: I know I know, this is the part you’re most excited about. I’m going to attempt to refrain from sharing my opinion on each ship itself, I will simply point out which have the highest compatibility levels. First of all, essentially all signs are most compatible with 1. Other signs of the same element and 2. Their compliment sign, their elemental opposite.

Since Emma is a fire sign, she’s generally compatible with other fire signs (Sagittarius, Aries, and of course Leo) as well as Air signs (Aquarius, Gemini, and Libra). So speaking broadly, she’s compatible of course with Norman as an Aries, as well as Ray IF he truly is an Aquarius. But if we narrow it down a little bit, I should mention that fire signs being fire signs can often clash with each other because both their energies are so high (personal experience lmao), and therefore their elemental opposite, air, are generally the way to go. Usually you’ll find on astrological charts and sites that Leos are most compatible with Geminis and Aquariuses, so Ray again if he is an Aquarius, and then we bring Violet into the picture because she’s a Gemini. (Uh, speaking as a Gemini, Leos are my favorite people to date, and I always seem to crush on them as well. I have a problem. A Leo problem.) I’m so sorry Gilemma shippers but fire and earth signs are like the worst combo, I don’t know how this happened because I love Gilemma with all my heart. The stars simply did not align for us this time

Norman

Birthdate: March 21st

Sign: Aries

Element: Fire

Overview: okay listen. I didn’t believe Norman was an Aries at first because he’s not as high energy as most fire signs, but then the more I thought about it, the more it just makes sense. The most key trait to an Aries is loyalty. They are so incredibly loyal and caring to the people they love that they often neglect themselves in the process. They can be very quick to anger if someone hurts or insults their friend, and are unafraid to start a fight or commit morally gray or even black actions in service of their loved ones. Point is you don’t mess with an Aries’ family or friends. You will get burned.

All the loyalty applies to Norman so incredibly well—the way that his plans and actions revolve entirely around Emma and Ray, and the way that he sacrifices himself for their escape even though he’s terrified of dying. But even more so this loyalty strikes you in the face when he returns as William Minerva, willing and committed to full on genocide all to keep his friends alive and safe. As I’ve said Aries are quick to anger, which seemingly isn’t very present in cool-headed, thoughtful Norman, but then you remember this:

Look at his expression. Even if he doesn’t easily lose his cool, when he does it’s terrifying. So essentially Norman is a much more subtle Aries— he’s not in your face aggressive or full of energy, but he has all the hidden signs. So yeah, I honestly can’t think of any other sign that describes him better. Norman is an Aries.

Compatibility and ships: being a fire sign and all, Norman’s compatibility is actually very similar to Emma’s. He’s compatible with other Fire signs (Sagittarius, Leo, and Aries) as well as Air signs (Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini). Speaking broadly that makes him compatible with Emma and Ray again, but narrowing it down Aries are much better in general with Libras and Leos so congrats Noremma shippers you won.

Ray

“Canon” Birthdate: January 15th

“Actual” Birthdate: February 5th

“Canon” sign: Capricorn

“Actual” sign: Aquarius

“Canon” Element: Earth

“Actual” Element: Air

Overview: alright Ray is a bit of a mixed bag to unpack. Because it’s been stated that Ray’s January 15th birthday is not his actual birthday outside of the source material, then it’s reasonable for me to count both birthdays because people have different ideas of what’s canon and what’s not. Interestingly enough though, Ray does indeed fit well enough into both the Capricorn and Aquarius signs, however I personally believe one shows through him better than the other.

We’ve been talking about fire signs for Emma and Norman so it’s finally time to dive into two other elements! We’ll start with Capricorn then, the Earth sign. The most important thing to remember is that the Earth signs are the most grounded and practical. If you want someone who can give you logical and rational advice, your best bet would be the Earth signs (Air signs are also good at this but this ain’t about them. Although you will notice some overlap in traits between these two, particularly in Capricorns and Aquariuses).

We can already see the ‘practical’ side show through in Ray by the way he hyperfocuses on taking Norman and Emma to escape but insists on leaving the other kids behind. This isn’t to say he doesn’t feel for them, on the contrary, Earth signs are indeed very in tune with their emotions and empathy, but Capricorns really know how to set that part of them aside in favor of the calm and certain route. They like tangible solutions, things they can grasp with the least amount of risk, and they’re very resistant to changes—like giant rocks. This is also noticeable in how Ray gets so very flustered by Norman and Emma’s impulsivity. He clashes with both of them because Earth signs prefer to take things slow while Fire signs just like to make a leap and hope for the best.

Note how Emma says “not that I mind...” meanwhile Ray is out here going “I MIND!!” Which we learn is because of his identity as the spy. He’s got his own plan and a tangible solution to shoot for, and Norman and his impulsivity and Emma going along with it is messing everything up. Thus, he forcibly retakes control of the situation via making a deal with Norman after the traitor is revealed. Very Capricorn stuff.

And if you want an image that just completely sums up the Capricorn in Ray, here you go:

On the OTHER hand, if we’re to go off Ray’s “actual” birthdate, which was so lovingly calculated by Tempo, then we get Aquarius Ray, the Air sign. The most important things to note about the air signs is that they’re the thinkers—the farthest from impulsive, they’re the least in tune with their emotions, and they are oh so horribly indecisive. Where Earth signs will be able to give advice that adheres to both logic and emotion, Air signs stick purely to logic. Where Earth signs are able to make calm and rational decisions, Air signs will agonize over options and often find themselves lost, searching perpetually for a solution with no cracks in it. Hello. I’m an Air sign. :’))

I’m gonna come right out and say it. I hate Aquarius men. Aquarius women and enby folks, they’re great. But Aquarius men? I may, as a Gemini, get along with them in surface level casual conversation, but behind every Aquarius man’s back is a Mal waiting to strangle him the moment I am given the opportunity. I’m so sorry Ray my son but you are not an Aquarius okay. Alright. Well, let’s just talk about the parts of him that do fit Aquarius.

So from the very start Ray is obviously a thinker, someone who considers his options very carefully before he makes a decision, and someone who hates making choices based solely on emotion. In fact, he hates expressing emotions at all. Aquariuses are very good at repressing or hiding their emotions behind other emotions (most air signs are). The most common way to do this is to put up a wall of either numbness or full-on rage. We can see both in Ray.

Instead of showing vulnerability in a healthy way, he would rather do that. Ok cool Ray.

Aquariuses can also be very quiet people, and Ray’s pretty dang quiet for most of the series too. They’re the intellectuals you know are intellectuals even though they aren’t up in your face about it. Their reserved nature makes them 10x scarier when they’re genuinely angry, because boy can an Aquarius rage.

The thing about Aquarius Ray for me here is that while Ray does indeed have Aquarius energy, it’s not the Core of Ray. To me he’s so much more of an Earth sign, so therefore I diagnose Ray with Capricorn.

Compatibility and ships: ok this is a mixed bag again. Now if you got Aquarius Ray then of course he’s compatible with other Air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) and Fire signs (Leo, Aries, and Sagittarius), which would make him compatible with Norman and Emma for sure, as well as probably Ayshe for you Rayshe shippers because my personal HC is Aquarius Ayshe.

If you’ve got Capricorn Ray, then Capricorns are compatible with other earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) and their compliment water signs (Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio), though they’re best with Cancers and Tauruses. So yes, Anna is a Taurus, which makes Rayanna a compatible pair. But guess who’s a Cancer. Don. ALL MY RAYDON SHIPPERS GET OUT HERE YOU COWARDS IM CALLING YOUR NAME. YOU WIN THE SHIP GAME.

Gilda

Birthdate: May 13th

Sign: Taurus

Element: Earth

Overview: So again with the practical and grounded Earth signs. Tauruses now, are the most stubborn of them, which can be a little irritating at times, but it’s also a great asset when you consider how reliable they truly are. They’re bulls, which makes them solid and difficult to move, and you can always fall back on them when you’ve leapt too far ahead. Gilda is of course the epitome of reliable, and her stubbornness does show through at times—like when she’s the one person against Emma going out into danger all the time, constantly trying to talk her down into a more practical and certain solution. She’s also the first to attempt to bring Emma to see Ray’s side of the escape plan, which is very earth sign of both of them good job guys.

Compatibility and ships: I know I know I’m still upset Gilemma isn’t compatible astrologically but we can talk about other Gilda ships! Tauruses are most compatible with other earth signs (Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus) and water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) which makes her compatible with our other lovely Taurus, Anna! Gilanna shippers unite. But they’re best with Cancers and Scorpios, which means Gildon is is at highest compatibility.

Don

Birthdate: July 4th

Sign: Cancer

Element: Water

Overview: HEY YALL ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY LEAST FAVORITE SIGNS: W A T E R. (I’m sorry my water friends, I’m sure you’re lovely, but as an air sign I am always extremely suspicious of water signs at first meeting because our compatibility is so low it might as well not exist) So the water signs are at the absolute highest emotional level. This can make them extraordinarily kind and nurturing, but it can also make them absolutely unreasonable and destructive. None is this more present than in Cancers, one of the most sensitive signs, but also one of the most empathetic. We can tell very clearly in Don that he wears his emotions on his sleeve—he’s unafraid to cry or show his anger, but he also takes very good care of his younger siblings and shows such an intense concern for them that it can become frightening.

He’s such a good boy 🥺

Compatibility and ships: okay so same drill, Cancers are generally compatible with other Water signs (Scorpio, Pisces, and Cancer) as well as Earth signs (Taurus, Capricorn, and Virgo) though their highest compatibility is with Tauruses and Capricorns. So again. GILDON AND RAYDON SHIPPERS R I S E.

God I’m so sorry if I cause a ship war. I rambled for too long and I’m very tired, so you only get these five characters for now. BUT! That’s why it’s a part 1. If you want more please feel free to harass me in my ask inbox about the characters you want me to overanalyze the signs of. Gemini out!

[betelguwuse]

I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want to get married. Hypothetically I’d love to be in a godly marriage with a man who respects me and sees me as the person that God does (and not only me but women as a whole), but realistically do christian men like that even exist? Mainstream christianity, especially gender discourse, is so watered down and twisted into something that’s more political than biblical. I feel like this is gonna piss off both the christians and feminists, even though I’m both (though some might say I’m not a real feminist, whatever idc lol). Might also tag as Side B because I feel like this is also maybe a Side B mood? But here goes.

Color coded by vague topic, bolded so it’s easier to read.

Like I recently heard of a pastor being criticized for saying it’s a woman’s duty to look good for her husband, and the boomer conservatives were acting like criticisms of this pastor was the end of christianity. There’s no way “looking good” in a biblical sense was anything more than basic hygiene, nowhere near the beauty standards of today; and that is if the idea of looking good for your husband is even in the bible. These people siding with the pastor were saying that any woman who doesn’t shave or hide her “flaws” with makeup or basically completely embody the tradwife meme are bad wives. Like what the literal hell.

Honestly the entire tradwife aesthetic seems to be the goal for a lot of young christian couples, when it’s not inherently biblical. I used to be into it myself because heck yeah staying home, housekeeping, taking care of children, and wearing cute flowery dresses sounds like a dream. But my goals aren’t universal! Some women don’t want kids. Some women want to work. Good and God-honoring women of the bible didn’t all have kids and stay home. I mean the timeline of the bible spans so long, so yeah maybe there were times when most women did. But that doesn’t mean women who didn’t were bad wives or lesser women. Not to mention there’s such a blurred line currently between cute tradwife lifestyle and creeps who fetishize the idea of a traditional (and by traditional they mean submissive) wife. Gross.

Another thing too many christian men do is say women can’t be in any position of power in the church. There is the whole specific issue of whether or not women should be the highest up actual pastor of the church, and I don’t know enough about that whole debate to validate or debunk it, but I’m not talking about that specifically here. Aside from that one position, a lot of christians think women can only teach other women and girls but not guys, even like literal child boys. That’s so weird, like imagine thinking a little boy has more authority than, or even equal to, a grown woman? Couldn’t be me. And this whole idea comes from an out of context “I do not permit women to speak in the church” from a regular human guy. And the reason he said this was that the women around him were spreading heresy. I still think it’s flawed logic to exclude all women from speaking in that situation just because most of them were wrong, but again, this wasn’t a command from God. This was just a guy recording his church experience and doing his flawed human best to manage it. Various women throughout the actual bible outside of this one leader’s timeline held positions of power in various churches. And modern day american christian men think biblical womanhood is all about subservience? Bro what bible are you reading?

I just want to make it clear that these are all just generalizations, but having been in various actual biblical communities and conservative christian communities, I can kinda pick up on the general sexist behaviors of the latter. But unfortunately in today’s political climate more and more young christians are only being exposed to political opinions that are surface level americanized good christian morals, but not actually biblical.

Even on top of that, even if a man knows of these biblical misconceptions, we live in a society. Like we’re constantly exposed to women’s sexualization, and it’s pretty impossible to escape that. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who’s grown up in a world where women are seen as weak, objects, pleasure machines, etc. And yeah we can unlearn these biases (honestly I hate the word unlearn but I can’t think of a substitute rn), but it feels like a hassle to casually figure out whether a guy can make an effort to understand what women go through, and if I were to just bring it up I’d scare them away. And that’s not to say I’m some perfect person who’s never sexualized men, we are all sinners after all and we live in a fallen world etc etc. But a whole society where women are so objectified that it’s normal for little boys to be watching porn, that just doesn’t really happen with little girls. I can’t speak for all women, but when I started seeing men sexually it was in my late teens when I realized like ‘oh I can sexualize men too? wild. ok I’m an adult lemme check it out’. Still sinful, but not ingrained in me from porn ads as a kid the way most young boys have been since like the creation of the internet.

Even the men currently in my life who genuinely want what’s best for me are so incredibly misogynistic it’s baffling. My male family members see any woman who breaks an imaginary dress code or ideology is some kind of deviant. I just want to make it clear that this is MY family and I’M the only one who gets to complain about them. We all love each other here even if the males are horribly wrong.

So I shaved my head for halloween and my dad could barely look at me, not because he was exactly mad or anything but just because I looked ugly to him. He always says ‘close the windows in your apartment because men will spy on you changing’ but after my hair was gone he was all ‘actually don’t bother because nobody will look at you looking like that’ like wow I wasn’t aware men only sexualized women for their hair. Like you really think a gross creeper is gonna be turned off by a fully naked oblivious vulnerable woman just because she’s bald? That’s not how any of this works. And just today my sister was watching a goth youtuber egirl or something, I didn’t see her makeup but my dad said stuff like ‘ew why does she look like that, maybe it’d be cool as a costume but how is she going to get a job’. Like, I’m not one to go ‘women don’t wear makeup for men’ (because most women who only use makeup to hide their insecurities and follow beauty standards very much just do it so they don’t get backlash from others, if not directly to please men), but when it’s a fun crazy look that’s not meant to be pretty, I’m all for that shit and generally I hate when men lose respect for a woman just for wearing something they don’t like. Like fashion isn’t real and your appearance should be as costumey or weird as you want without people losing respect for you. Also like...do men know that makeup isn’t permanent?? Like if she wanted a job that required no makeup she could easily wipe her face off and get one?? Not only that, but people can work from home and/or be self employed. Maybe youtube itself was this girl’s job. Who the hell cares man. And the worst thing here is my brother outright said one time “the root cause of feminism is pride”. B r u h. And this was back when I considered myself an anti-feminist, even then I knew that feminism started for good reason and I was absolutely furious. I think I kept it to myself like a coward lol, but if anyone said that to me now I’d tear them apart. In a debate I mean, not like literal violence.

Tldr: I’m not trying to say men are inherently more evil because there’s evil in everyone, but the way it takes shape in men in most societies is so insidious and inescapable. I love my family and guy friends, but I don’t want to deal with one in a romantic/sexual relationship because I don’t know if even the most educated and goodest christian boi in this world can see me as a true equal. It sucks because I want sex and children, but when the mainstream idea of hetero sex is female submission, it just makes me shrivel up and contemplate becoming a nun. I’m not even catholic. But even nuns are sexualized and degraded in coomer’s disgusting brains. In conclusion I’m going feral and starting my own woman-only church in the woods let’s go ladies.

[carmenlire]

The Dead Lay Waiting

read on ao3

It seems like a nightmare but Magnus can’t wake up no matter how hard he pinches himself.

It’s a sight he never wanted to see-- Alec in his arms, blood pouring from him until the stench is thick enough to suffocate them, until Magnus can taste copper and his stomach roils.

Holding it together takes more from him than it maybe should, he thinks. Alec’s isn’t the first body he’s held as it went limp and cold and his husband’s eyes are from the first to have lost their light right before him.

Still. Something swirls in his gut and it’s black and putrid and Magnus, in all his overwhelming grief, already knows that the effects of his storm will be both catastrophic and stark.

The battle rages around them but Magnus doesn’t care-- can’t-- not when Alec’s heart is so weak he can barely feel the pulse even with his magic.

Without a conscious thought, he’s gathering his love as gently as he can and the magic that envelopes them is a dull shade of purple, his anger clashing with the gentleness he’ll always shower Alec with, even or especially if it’s the last thing he can do.

Magnus hears Jace yell, picks up on Isabelle’s sharp cry as he takes Alexander with him through the portal, but he pays them no mind. Alec is dead weight in his arms.

Stepping into his apothecary, it’s the work of a moment to summon a hospital bed. Alec’s shirt is in ruins, his thigh is mangled, the right side of his face deeply bruised.

His chest isn’t moving.

“No, Alexander,” Magnus whispers, taking a crucial moment to lean over his husband, to swipe a feather-light touch over his unmarred cheek. “Stay with me, darling. I need you to stay. I love you. I love you so much, my darling.”

Alec doesn’t answer because he can’t and the silence in the instant after those words fall like lead from Magnus’s lips is the worst moment of Magnus’s life. Alec always offers the words back-- even when he’s mostly asleep, even when they’re fighting, even when he’s not fully present, like it’s autopilot for Alec to tell Magnus he loves him, a pavlovian response.

Now there’s nothing and Magnus wants to scream himself hoarse.

His breath shudders. Feeling like his very bones are cracking under the gaping chasm of grief threatening to swallow him whole, Magnus can’t focus on anything but Alec’s heart.

The loft is preternaturally still as he brings a hand swimming in blue to his husband’s chest and feels for a thready heartbeat.

There’s nothing.

He gasps and it’s a horrid, desperate sound. He prods his magic deeper and-- there’s still nothing.

Alec’s life force is gone. He’s empty, left for dead. There’s nothing there and there’s a split moment where Magnus’s shoulders slump and a sob catches in his throat. He feels his own ruin staring at him, mocking and absolute but before he quite knows what’s happened, he’s snapping around toward his shelves full of every kind of magic book.

He’s hardly aware of what he’s doing. Magnus is aware of every second passing, his own heart keeping time enough for the both of them.

It feels like an eternity as he tosses books aside as soon as they prove worthless. The apothecary holds some of his most treasured texts, the ones he most regularly uses for potions and spell work. But they aren’t worth a damn now, he thinks bitterly, throwing another one out of his way as soon as he realizes it’s nothing but a list of plants and their perfectly sanguine medicinal purposes.

No, he thinks, a little crazed. He needs something else.

It’s with that thought in mind, that Magnus leaves the apothecary. Trying to ignore the voice that whispers, and Alec too, he strides through their loft to his library.

Over the years, this library has become an amalgamation of both his and Alec’s interests. There are Alec’s romance novels taking up one section and his own true crime paperbacks taking up their own set of shelves. There’s one entire wall dedicated to his expansive magical collection, though-- volumes that are rarely used or that he only bought for their historical or monetary value.

Here is where he will find a way to save Alec.

That’s what Magnus tells himself because he quite simply refuses to entertain the idea that his love is dead. He can’t stop to dwell on that sentiment too long or he knows he’d go mad so Magnus does what he does best.

He puts his head down and works.

He’s a little more considerate with these books. Some have been magically preserved through the decades and still others are even too delicate for that preservation method. There’s one book in his collection that Magnus tries to ignore but he knows it’s futile.

There’s a part of him that knew as soon as Alec’s chest stopped moving but it felt like his own heart stopped beating, that this is where things would end for him.

Or begin, he thinks. This will just be a start of a new chapter.

No matter what, he's saving his Alec. What will return to him will be Alec. At the end of the day, that's all Magnus needs.

The binding is inconspicuous enough. No title, no author. Magnus himself doesn’t even know the creator of the spells and potions inside. Green leather bounds the book-- not so dark as to warn the prospective reader of its contents but an almost offensive jade.

It reminds Magnus of spring and in this moment, it’s almost enough to ruin him anew.

The library is silent. It’s just him and what he’s about to do.

If Magnus could slow down enough to use his head, he’d know that what he’s contemplating isn’t just ill-advised. It’s damn near illegal. Definitely morally reprehensible. Still, the consequences aren’t enough to deter him, not when he’s looking at the prospect of living an eternity without his husband. That is a hell Magnus simply refuses to experience.

Raising the dead is complicated. Sometimes what returns is different. Not totally changed, just different. A little more this, a little less that. Not enough to be unrecognizable but just enough so that if you know what to look for, you'll find it. Still. Magnus has promised to love Alec in sickness and in health, through everything, until the end of it all and that's just what he plans to do.

He knows what he wants and what he wants is Alec, whatever way he can have him. That's all that matters.

So, he opens the book. He scours the contents, running a finger along lines of text as he devours each critical step in an arduous process.

With this kind of spell work, time is of the essence. Magnus doesn’t sleep, doesn’t rest as he collects all of his ingredients for the potion. There are one or two that are so far reaching that he has to call a few contacts, some of his more unsavory consultants that don’t ask questions.

Which is best for all involved because Magnus would not be answering anything about what he’s up to tonight. If all goes according to plan, that will just be his and Alexander’s little secret. No one needs to know the lengths he's gone to. Magnus has always been able to deflect better than most and this will become just another mystery that surrounds him and Alec by proxy.

It takes an hour to bribe and threaten his way towards a complete ingredient list and another half an hour of running through the spell work. Going into the apothecary feels like his own brand of death sentence. He carefully avoids looking at Alec, doesn’t think he could continue if he saw blue lips and stiff muscles as rigor mortis works through his beloved’s body.

Just reciting the words in his head leaves him feeling restless, tongue heavy. The consonants are thick, vowels stretching too thin. He hasn’t used this language in a century or two-- since that time with Asmodeus, best left unexplored.

He perseveres.

It’s close to dawn when he feels ready.

Looking over at Alec, his heart aches. It’s grief, an insurmountable tide of it. It’s overwhelming in its gentleness because Magnus knows that he will save Alec. He knows it isn’t too late. He knows what must be done and he is willing to pay this price and much more besides to feel his Alexander’s heart beating under his ear.

The grief and rage are almost in the background now, an echo of what could be if Magnus was anyone else or if he loved Alec just one bit less than he does. He’s said for years that there are no limits where Alec is concerned and this is him crossing the line of what should be.

What should be is Magnus and Alec, happily ever after. That’s what will be, by the grace of every molecule of power that he possesses.

Before the hard part starts, Magnus walks over to Alec, his beautiful husband, and watches him for a long moment. He studies the shadows his lashes leave on his cheeks, the dark hair that’s just started to show dashing threads of silver, a body his husband keeps fit and toned even if he so rarely goes out into the field these days.

Unlike last night, he thinks bitterly and spares a brief but hopeless moment to think that maybe this will make Alec less likely to run out and try to save the world himself.

“I love you, Alexander,” Magnus whispers in the space between their lips, before laying a gentle kiss on his cool mouth. “Please forgive me.”

Clearing his throat as he straightens, it’s the work of a moment to skim the lines of the spell one last time. The potion sits where it needs to brew for a few more minutes at his side, a ghastly red.

The color of dried blood, of crushed petals. It looks toxic and smells just as putrid.

The words seem to fight Magnus on their way out. The words feel dredged in oil, coated in tar as they slide down his tongue into the quiet room. Shadows lengthen and the light makes way for whatever malignant power Magnus is harnessing.

Black lines creep from Alec’s heart and into his arms, up his neck, under the deflect rune.

Hands shaking with the effort-- for all that the book spelled out exactly what had to be done, only a warlock of the highest ability could manage to pull such a thing off. It’s considerable effort for otherworldly reward.

Finally, with the last syllable falling from his mouth, Magnus picks up the potion and carefully lift’s Alec’s head. His voice is low, cajoling as he forces his husband’s mouth open and pours the disgusting mixture down his throat.

There’s a moment of pure silence. It feels like all of the air in the loft has been vacuumed out and Magnus himself gasps in the vast emptiness.

And then all hell breaks loose.

Every light in the apothecary-- and if Magnus had to hazard a guess, their city block-- explodes and leaves him in the dark. He doesn’t know it but there’s a citywide blackout that will take most of the morning to fix, New York’s power grid almost collapsing completely.

But that doesn’t matter.

Magnus hears Alec’s first shaky inhale. It isn’t a desperate gasp, just a quiet intake of breath. Like he’s surprised, like he hasn’t been clinically dead for almost four hours.

His magic rejoices at once, the apothecary lighting up in brilliant blue. Magnus watches as his husband’s eyes open. They’re empty for just a moment before they turn stunned.

And then furious.

“Magnus,” Alec rasps. He reaches out and he’s not weak when he closes a hand around Magnus’s arm. There’s no tremor. He's every bit the shadowhunter, strong and unyielding. “What the fuck did you do?”

Magnus knows there will be hell to pay. He doesn’t give a damn, not when the alternative is so much worse. “I saved you, darling.”

Alec doesn’t say anything for a moment but Magnus isn’t fooled. He knew Alec wouldn’t be pleased but that isn’t what concerns him anyway. No, the real trouble will lurk outside of their home.

There will be questions. Rumors. Whispers.

His thoughts cut off when Alec leans up and kisses Magnus. There’s dried blood in the corner of his lips and his mouth tastes like that horrifying potion but Magnus can’t get enough. Some sound escapes him and it sounds wretched, equal parts desperation and relief.

Alec is it for him. He’s always known it but now, if possible, it’s even more true. He belongs to Alec just as Alec belongs to him and sure what Magnus did was dangerous and foolhardy but he’s always been both of those when it comes to his husband, for Alec.

When the kiss breaks apart, they’re both breathing hard and it makes Magnus’s heart sing, to hear Alec’s lungs working so beautifully.

His Alexander leans forward slowly until their foreheads touch. “You shouldn’t have done that, babe. You should have let me go.”

There’s only one answer to that, one that Magnus will defend to his own dying breath.

“I’ll never let you go, Alexander. But you already know that.”

Magnus feels more than sees Alec’s mouth tilt up, equal parts exasperated but knowing.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “I know.”

[kamekamelea]

Never tell me the odds

Hello @fezzle! Here’s an early Halloween gift for you for the @b99fandomeventsfall fic challenge! I got super inspired by your prompts and it was hard to choose  one to write but I hope you’re happy with the outcome <3

Special thanks go to @amydancepants-peralta​ for all your precious help with this one! You’re a true angel 💖 And thank you @b99peraltiago​ for your moral support and patience with my rants about this fic 💕

also, it’s super fun to be part of this challenge once again 😊❤

read on ao3 (bc it’s kinda too long for tumblr)

How has she once again fallen a victim to Gina’s trick?

The bet was supposed to be an easy win for Santiago, but somehow Gina managed to outwit her (or rather, as Amy assumed, cheat). And the defeat was bitter. The defeat was Gina choosing a costume for Santiago for the Halloween party held at Linetti’s. Was the result different, Linetti would be forced to go to any nerdy event of Amy’s choice and the latter just briefly wonders if such outcome would make Gina suffer equally. Because Amy’s misery right now is enormous.

The misery being her wearing a Chewbacca costume, of all possible choices Gina could’ve made.

The costume is thick, doesn’t let any air in or out and the smell inside the upper part is overwhelming in the worst sense. But now it’s too late to start looking for a new one, Amy thinks, standing in front of the door to Gina’s apartment and she knows Linetti won’t let her in, her wearing only yoga pants and a t-shirt under her costume. So she follows Rosa inside, her shoulders slumped. Not that anyone would notice in the bush of fake Wookie fur.

There are cheap Halloween decorations all around Gina’s apartment - plastic pumpkins put on every free surface, tacky spiders and bats hanging from door frames and lamps. The cups have skeletons imprinted on them and a big bowl is standing in the middle of the kitchen, filled with a suspiciously looking red jello, which, as Amy assumes, is supposed to look like blood. It’s not sophisticated (what is expected from a students’ party) but Amy admires Linetti’s dedication to decor. In the corner, far back in the living room, stands an occasionally screaming witch, scaring off from time to time those who come closer to the drinks table.

And Amy would love to get drunk as fast as possible but it is not really an option in that suit - it’s hard to walk in it being sober, she can only imagine how worse it would get after alcohol circulating in her system. So she stands in front of the makeshift bar, full of the cheapest beer and wine, with a few bottles of tequila and vodka in the back of it, and contemplates the reasons behind her desperate need to show up here tonight. Why did she oblige to Gina’s stupid terms just for the sake of one party? She doesn’t even like Halloween that much...

Oh, right. Because her private life is a disaster.

She’s nearing the end of college, satisfied with her results - it’s a good feeling to have the highest grades, a scholarship and University authorities’ recognition. Yet at what cost? While going through her university experience, she has kinda forgotten about one important life’s detail - people. And Amy’s been in a weird place recently, getting to know new people becoming harder and harder with age. Her being stuck in a small crowd of friends, people she loved with all of her heart, but even they’ve kept telling her to take some air. A breath of clear air that comes with a new friendship.

However, Amy has always been a bit weird with people, add to it her geekiness and OCD, it really doesn’t create the best combination for being popular. Even if she has never craved for popularity, it also doesn’t help in creating deep bonds with people she keeps close to herself. One of those people being Rosa Diaz, her classmate from high school, with whom she managed to form some kind of meaningful relationship. It was a hard task - Diaz being a human form of a brick wall, and Amy having her own struggles with opening to people - but in the end Amy was over the moon when their friendship developed, reaching a level where the other Latina agreed to become roommates as the time for college came.

And it’s not that she doesn’t like to be around people, no. It’s just that if she was to describe the feeling that overcomes her after spending too much time with an acquaintance she would use the noun discomfort. Because there is always a wall, a wall of politeness and courtesy, that blocks Amy from being her true self around most people. Those are rules of dealing with people and Amy loves to follow rules.

Surprisingly, a weird easiness Amy finds also in Linetti’s company, Rosa’s girlfriend of few months. Even though Gina never noticed Amy in high school (and still doesn’t believe she and Santiago actually attended some classes together, even when she showed her some pictures on the school’s website, always chortling right in her face when Amy brings it up) and only hangs out with her because of one Netflix account Rosa shares with Amy, which forces them to often watch TV together.

And when Gina invited Amy to her Halloween party (after Rosa elbowed her hard in the ribs) Amy thought it might be a good opportunity to step out of her comfort zone. Of course Linetti had to do it her way, coming up with the whole bet idea and again, Amy agreed because if there is one thing she loves more than following rules it’s competition. And she calculated her chances well - doing some calculus of probability is actually one of her hobbies, but somehow Gina, being the sneaky girl that she is, fooled her anyway.

It is a spooky season indeed, Amy thinks, her demons chasing her on this last day of October.

All of a sudden, Amy’s small pity party gets interrupted, as a pair of unknown arms encircles her from behind and an unexpected impact makes her wobble. But the arms are strong and they keep her in place.

“There you are, Chewie! I was worried the Stormtroopers finally got you!” Someone shouts loudly right into her ear and if it wasn’t for the mask, she would have lost her hearing for sure.

The arms let go of her, making it possible for her to turn to the source of the voice, which sounds somehow familiar, even in this noise of a crowded party. Through the small holes which are supposed to be Chewie’s eyes she sees a snippet of an ecru shirt and black vest. What she doesn’t see is a face, so she tilts her head in a weird angle to inspect it. And then a big smile shows, and sparkling brown eyes and a head of messy curls.

Amy knows this face, she just has trouble to match it with a name.

“Come on, Chewie! Don’t you recognize your best friend?!” The smile only grows bigger (if that’s even possible) and for a reason unknown to Amy it makes her blush. God bless the mask.

“Is this supposed to be a Han Solo costume?” she asks, her tone maybe a bit too sharp given he’s been nothing but nice, with this beam of his and friendly attitude. There was no reason whatsoever for her to go into her defensive mode. Her blush deepens.

“Oh, come on! It’s obvious I’m Han - I even have a gun, look!” The man, she still can’t remember the name of, reaches to his back pocket and takes out the tackiest plastic gun she’s ever seen.

She actually chuckles at his attempt to roll the gun on his finger, even if it’s a failed one. “Yeah, so much better now, Han Solo.”

“It’s Jake actually.” He smiles and then it clicks.

“Right, Jake Peralta!” She points her finger at him in a weird satisfactory gesture, excited she managed to finally to remember and only then she realizes how awkward it must have looked.

That’s why she should’ve stayed at home.

Jake’s brows furrow in a confused impression, though the smirk is still there, so she hurries with an explanation. “We went to high school together.”

They did go to the same school, true. And that’s it. They’ve never exchanged a word, him probably oblivious to her existence, but she knew him of course, because who didn’t really? The goofball, school’s clown, his jokes capable to charm even the strictest of teachers. He wasn’t maybe the most popular boy in school, but his personality was just so loud it was catching Amy’s attention, besides she enjoyed watching him interacting with others. He made it look so easy. Just coming by to a random person to chat about nothing in particular and bonding. Never seemed so easy for her. Maybe if he would’ve come up to her, it would have been easy as well? But he never did, so those thoughts are pointless.

(Most of the time he would be wearing that trademark grin of his proudly, but there were times Amy saw him walking in contemplation through a secluded hallway, his gaze wistful and lips pursed and if someone was to actually talk to him, he would put on a smile Amy knew was fake.)

“That’s so cool! Gina invited so many random people, it’s gonna be so nice to see a familiar face. Well, if you decide to finally let go of that mask, Chewie.”

He’s going to be so disappointed seeing a face of yet another stranger.

But she grasps the mask and struggles for a second and only with a slight help from Jake she manages to get it off.

“You probably don’t re...” she rushes to explain but gets interrupted by an excited scream.

“Oh my God, Amy Santiago?! In a Chewbacca costume!”

Jake giggles like crazy, and with his whole body, but Amy doesn’t feel offended by his reaction because the laugh doesn’t sound like a mean one, and it is a hilarious sight of her in that costume. First and foremost though her mind can only focus on one thing now - he knows her name.

His laugh is contagious, so she lets herself to chuckle timidly, and is amazed how easy it is to just laugh with a person she has just met.

“Wow, Amy Santiago, I didn’t take you for a person to wear a Chewbacca costume. I love it.” he says once their giggles die a bit and Amy wishes the mask was still in place to cover the redness of her cheeks.

“Not my choice really. But now that my sweat has mixed with all the sweat of people who wore this costume before me, I don’t even mind it anymore.”

The words leave her mouth and her hand twitches to slap herself for making it the most awkward small talk ever. According to good manners, this is not how you talk to person you barely know. Especially if that person has such mesmerizing eyes and cute smile. Bringing up sweat isn’t a sexy thing to say. Not that she wants to be received as sexy.

(Even if she wanted, it’s hard to accomplish it wearing the most shapeless and fury costume ever. This is like the opposite of sexy.)

“Sounds sexy!” His right brow rises in a funny way as he chuckles but Amy has only half the mind to admire this adorable sight, because the other half is amazed - looks like small talks don’t have to feel weird and forced after all. He must’ve taken her shocked expression as a wrong sign though, because for the first time the smile disappears from his face as he starts to explain. “Just kidding! I’m so sorry, this was so inappropriate. I made it super weird, didn’t I?”

“Super weird is actually my comfort zone, so thank you for finally lowering your standards of social interactions to my level.” It’s actually so true, Amy realizes, and is surprised it was easier to admit it to Jake than to herself for such long time. He takes it though only as a pretty dark joke probably, the beam finding its designated place on Jake’s face again, giving Amy no choice than to reciprocate it.

“You know what would be the coolest thing ever?” Jake suddenly exclaims excitedly. “Us together taking part in the costume contest.”

“What contest?...”

“Gina is holding a competition for matching costumes, since she really wants people to praise her costume idea for her and Rosa.”

“Who are they dressing up as? Rosa refused to tell me when I asked her about the blonde wig.”

“I think she’s supposed to be Portia and Gina’s dressing up as Ellen Degeneres.”

Yeah, Amy can see now why Rosa seemed so uncomfortable in her costume, probably preferring to wear a more gloomy outfit. But, there are worse things people do for love, and Amy is moved by Diaz’s gesture to make her girlfriend happy.

“So, wanna take part?” He prompts further cheerfully. “Being honest, I think it’s a destiny you and I both came wearing Star Wars costumes. And they match in the best way possible!”

Amy doesn’t know what makes her agree eventually, after Jake - a man she doesn’t really know - gives her a countless number of arguments (none of which makes sense) about the brilliance of his idea. She’s of course quick to correct him.

“The form you’re looking for is “brilliantness”. “Brilliance” refers to something exceptionally effulgent.”

He then mocks her know-it-all tone (giving it a weird British vibe), but in a way that makes her laugh, and she willingly indulges into a banter that goes on for a while. And somehow the result of it is her saying yes to that proposition.

Despite the thick layer of the Chewie costume, she feels a spark going through her nerves when Jake grabs her hand to pull her towards Gina, person in charge.

~~READ THE REST ON AO3~~

[mercutio-escalator]

:) or else

If a guardian angel living with a somnambulist gives lectures on morality to a halfhearted haunch, then a taxidermist dies. Now and then, a niggardly midwife secretly approaches the non-chalantly surly curse. Sometimes a taxidermist leaves, but some hand always sells the wily dissident to a womanly cleavage! Nimbo, the friend of Mitzi and Nicolas, daydreams with a dissident related to a cigar. When a placid necromancer ceases to exist, an accurately polite bicep flies into a rage. A toothpick for a tenor slyly bounces some looking glass. A gingerly hand is gingerly. A bubble inside the fetishist seeks a surly impresario. Desdemona and I took a bubble bath (with the toothpick, a gingerly labyrinth, a few shadows, and a pocket from a haunch) to arrive at a state of intimacy where we can accidentally hardly write a love letter to our labyrinth. A lovely hand steals pencils from the saintly pocket. Kafka, although somewhat soothed by a niggardly ribbon and a wisely uxorious dahlia, still befriends her from a greedily wily tenor, fall in love with her the mastadon from some maestro with a bodice ripper toward a pocket, and ostensibly gives secret financial aid to the dark side of her bodice ripper. Jacques and I took a non-chalantly unseemly stalactite (with an alchemist from the clock, a guardian angel, a few clodhoppers, and a shadow) to arrive at a state of intimacy where we can almost borrow money from our omphalos. Kafka, although somewhat soothed by the cream puff and a seldom unsightly piroshki, still pours freezing cold water on her from some accidentally likeable lunatic, dance with her the pocket with the ghastly bubble, and borrows money from the dark side of her cigar. The dissident dances with the boy defined by the tea party. Indeed, the bonbon buries the maestro. Shrek Script {Man} Once upon a time there was a lovely princess.But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss.She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.Many brave knigts had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed.She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love’s first kiss.{Laughing} Like that’s ever gonna happen.{Paper Rusting, Toilet Flushes}What a load of - Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll meI ain’t the sharpest tool in the shedShe was lookin’ kind of dumb with her finger and her thumbIn the shape of an “L” on her foreheadThe years start comin’ and they don’t stop comin'Fed to the rules and hit the ground runnin'Didn’t make sense not to live for funYour brain gets smart but your head gets dumbSo much to do so much to seeSo what’s wrong with takin’ the backstreetsYou’ll never know if you don’t goYou’ll never shine if you don’t glowHey, now You’re an all-starGet your game on, go playHey, now You’re a rock starGet the show on, get paidAnd all that glitters is goldOnly shootin’ stars break the moldIt’s a cool place and they say it gets colderYou’re bundled up now but wait till you get olderBut the meteor men beg to differJudging by the hole in the satellite pictureThe ice we skate is gettin’ pretty thinThe water’s getting warm so you might as well swimMy world’s on fireHow ‘bout yoursThat’s the way I like it and I’ll never get boredHey, now, you’re an all-star{Shouting}Get your game on, go playHey, now You’re a rock starGet the show on, get paidAnd all that glitters is goldOnly shootin’ stars break the mold{Belches}Go!Go!{Record Scratching}Go. Go.Go.Hey, now, you’re an all-starGet your game on, go playHey, now You’re a rock starGet the show on, get paidAnd all that glitters is goldOnly shootin’ stars break the mold-Think it’s in there?-All right. Let’s get it!-Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?-Yeah, it’ll grind your bones for it’s bread.{Laughs}-Yes, well, actually, that would be a gaint.Now, ogres - - They’re much worse.They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.-No!-They’ll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!Actually, it’s quite good on toast.-Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!{Gasping}-Right.{Roaring}{Shouting}{Roaring}{Whispers} This is the part where you run away.{Gasping}{Laughs}{Laughing} And stay out!“Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.”{Sighs}{Man’s voice} All right. This one’s full.-Take it away!{Gasps}-Move it along. Come on! Get up!-Next!-Give me that! Your fiying days are over.That’s 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next!-Get up! Come on!-Twenty pieces.{Thudding}-Sit down there!-Keep quiet!{Crying}-This cage is too small.-Please, don’t turn me in. I’ll never be stubborn again.I can change. Please! Give me another chance!-Oh, shut up.-Oh!-Next!-What have you got?-This little wooden puppet.-I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.-Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.-Father, please! Don’t let them do this!-Help me!-Next! What have you got?-Well, I’ve got a talking donkey.{Grunts}-Right. Well, that’s good for ten shillings, if you can prove it.-Oh, go ahead, little fella.-Well?-Oh, oh, he’s just - - He’s just a little nervous.He’s really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt - –That’s it. I’ve heard enough. Guards!-No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk.I’m the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.-Get her out of my sight.-No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!{Gasps}-Hey! I can fly!-He can fly!-He can fly!-He can talk!-Ha, ha! That’s right, fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey.You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superflybut I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha!Oh-oh.{Grunts}-Seize him!-After him! He’s getting away!{Grunts, Gasps}{Man}-Get him! This way! Turn!-You there. Orge!-Aye?-By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized to place you both under arrestand transport you to a designated….. resettlement facility.-Oh, really? You and what army?{Gasps, Whimpering}{Chuckles}-Can I say something to you?-Listen, you was really, really, really somethin’ back here. Incredible!Are you talkin’ to - - me? Whoa!-Yes. I was talkin’ to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back here? Those guards!They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that.-Oh, that’s great. Really.-Man, it’s good to be free.-Now, why don’t you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?-But, uh, I don’t have any friends. And I’m not goin’ out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I’ll stick with you. You’re mean, green, fightin’ machine. Together we’ll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.{Roaring}-Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don’t mind me sayin’, if that don’t work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause you breath stinks!You almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time - - {Mumbling}Than I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases eking out of my butt that day.-Why are you following me?-I’ll tell you why. 'Cause I’m all aloneThere’s no one here beside meMy promlems have all goneThere’s no one to deride meBut you gotta heve friends - - -Stop singing! It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.-Wow. Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.-Listen, little donkey. 

——— 

this is a monstrosity and it also killed tumblr mobile i hope you’re happy

[fred-frederator-studios]

Arlen Schumer: The Frederator Interview  

Arlen Schumer is the designer and illustrator of our Frederator Fredbot, the robot that’s inspired so many variations.

You read that right.

We all hear so much from fans about our “red robot” that I thought the time was right for Arlen to design something for us again, 20 some-odd years after his first.

So here it is! The 2019 Frederator New Year’s poster. (You can see some of the poster’s development work here.)

Arlen’s not only a fantastic artist/designer, but he’s a prolific pop culture historian with some great books and essays to his name, and a thriving lecture series on some of the famous (and even more unsung heroes) of comic book art.

How did Arlen Schumer come to Frederator? And how did Arlen come to art, specifically, comic book art? As you can read below, he and I have known each other and worked together for several years, even pre-Frederator.

All this and more, in the first Frederator interview of 2019.

Hi Arlen. When did you start drawing? 

I grew up in Fair Lawn, New Jersey, a great place in the early-mid ‘60s, with equal parts bucolic American suburbia and small-town Rockwellian, pop culture ambiance—everything from an uber-Jewish deli like Petak’s to Plaza Toy & Stationery, which had a classic 20th Century soda fountain: it was there, after school, that I read all the comic books of my youth while drinking chocolate egg creams (with a pretzel log, natch). And because Fair Lawn, like all of New Jersey, was in the shadow of New York City, I grew up on all that pop culture through television, not just the 3 networks but the 3 local stations that showed everything from the old Universal monster movies to The Little Rascals to The Three Stooges to the George Reeves Superman TV series.

One of those local TV shows, a children’s show called Diver Dan, which was filmed in black & white to look like it took place underwater—the actor, in a deep-sea diver’s suit (with a helmet that never revealed his face, so he was like a superhero), walked slowly like he was underwater, surrounded by pop fish hanging by wires—triggered my interest in drawing, as I watched my brother draw him first, and copied him. I’ve been drawing ever since!

What was the first comic you fell in love with?

Giant Superman Annual #7 (Summer ’63): Not only is its cover the hands-down greatest of all the great multiple-panel Superman Annual covers that Superman Artist of the Baby Boom Generation (and my first favorite artist) Curt Swan drew in the ‘60s—not only does it feature perhaps the greatest single Superman figure ever rendered by Swan (in pencil; head of DC coloring Jack Adler did the hand-painted grey wash tones over it) or any Superman artist, before or since—but it is the first comic book cover I can recall ever seeing, when I was five years old, in summer camp that year. What an image to come into the wonderful world of comics by!

What was your first professional job as an artist?

My summer job between freshman and sophomore years at art school (Rhode Island School of Design), creating black & white line illustrations for a t-shirt silkscreening company in Fair Lawn.

I know that you count Neal Adams as a primary mentor? Were there any others?

Neal Adams was one of two Gods of Comic Book Art in the late-‘60s: the other was Jim Steranko, who was described as the Jimi Hendrix of comics, because Steranko’s career was as meteoric in its rise, and as short-lived. Though Steranko didn’t die in ’70 like Hendrix, that’s when he left Marvel Comics after less than 4 years of explosive and experimental works—and, like Hendrix, his impact on both the art form and its audience was in converse proportion to the relatively small amount of work he turned out. In particular, Steranko’s design sense and typographic talents were a tremendous influence on my choosing to major in Graphic Design at RISD.

It was sometime in my junior year there that I must’ve written Steranko a fanboy letter, gushing about those very things—and much to my shock and surprise, he wrote me back, inviting me to come see him in his home/studio in Reading, PA! So I took a bus from Providence, RI to Reading, and spent the day with Steranko—except I barely remember a thing about it! Why? Because I think I was having a Dr. Strange-like ectoplasmic out-of-body experience the whole time I was with him—I, a fan, spending quality time with one of the Twin Gods of Comics!!!

He wanted me to leave RISD and begin working with him as his apprentice! I couldn’t believe what he was offering me; I remember the bus ride back to Providence in a daze, feeling the utter cliché come to life of my future like the road in front of me: I could either stay on the main highway of getting my college degree, or take that exit ramp and join the circus! What do you think I did?

I stayed in school and got my diploma a year later. Had it been freshman year, maybe I would have left; but not when I was a year away from matriculating—not to mention honoring my mom’s sacrifice of putting me through school financially. But I’ve remained in touch with Steranko ever since, and feel both fortunate and unique, that I am the only fanboy who grew up to not only work for one of the Twin Gods of Comics (I ended up working for Neal Adams 3 years after I graduated from RISD), but almost worked for the other, too!

And then, Fred, there was—YOU! You were one of the first great professionals I met/interviewed with after I graduated from RISD and moved to New York City, when you were still at Warner-Amex having just created the MTV always-changing logo [actually it was Manhattan Design; I was the company creative director]. You impressed me as someone who was “real,” who didn’t hide behind a phony “professional” mask. We stayed in touch after that, and you gave me my first real breakout illustration job when I went solo as a freelancer a few years later, designing and illustrating an animated 30-second spot for a radio station, working with Colossal Pictures in LA (who later became Pixar)—and a NY metro-area billboard to go along with it!

Since then, we’ve done a bunch of great things together, up to and including this Frederator poster! And I’ve watched you wade through your own career waters as a multi-dimensional leading man, wearing so many different hats over the years—the decades—which has inspired me to cultivate my own Renaissance Man attributes. I’ve always described you to others as a mensch, the ultimate New York pro who’s got a great big beautiful heart an d soul to match his creative mind. If I could ever be described that way one day, I would consider that to be the highest compliment I could ever receive!

How about the mentors that you never met?

My father died when I was only four months old; my mother raised my older brother (by a year and a half) and I herself. Neither of my grandfathers was alive, and, though I had a handful of uncles, I would only see them a few times a year at family gatherings. So I had to find surrogate father figures elsewhere—and I found them in the American Pop Culture I grew up with in the’60s, in roughly this chronological order: Sean Connery’s James Bond, my first idealized masculine role model (the first movie I ever recall seeing, when I was around four-five years old, was Dr. No, the first Connery Bond, at a drive-in theater); Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling, a pop prophet of moral righteousness in the vast television wasteland, looking cool as all get-out in those incredibly tight TZ introductions—all of my artworks based on the series can be seen as my ways of honoring Serling’s legacy as a son would honor his father’s; and the superheroes in comic books, first and foremost Superman and Batman (the Yin-Yang of the genre), pseudo-paternally teaching me right from wrong, good from evil, and standing up and fighting for one’s beliefs. These are the things I suppose sons learn from the fathers, as well as their religious and academic authority figures. But “Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Comic Books”!

You've published a few pop culture histories, and given countless lectures on various great, neglected figures. What got you started as an historian?

I don’t know how any artist in any genre or medium, if they truly love their work, cannot also be equally-interested in the history of that art form. When Keith Richards plays any of his classic Rolling Stones licks, he knows which black bluesman he nicked it from; filmmakers like Spielberg and Scorsese know the history of film like they know their own films. And the history of comics is as rich in artistic triumphs (and personal tragedies) as the histories of the other major 20th Century art/entertainments: film, television, popular music and rock and roll.

When I was a senior at RISD, for my degree project, I toyed with designing an exhibit of comic book art, and when I went looking for a theme, the only subject that seemed both worthwhile of my passion for the material and deep enough for the demands of the assignment was one based on the comics I grew up with in the 1960s, and the artists who drew them, the twin founts from which I drew the inspiration to become an artist. Though I never did that exhibit (I ended up doing a giant autobiographical photo-comic instead), I kept the ideas and images that I gathered, in the hopes that one day I’d use them in some other form. Many of those 1979 layouts are the same ones I’ve used in my book published in 2003, The Silver Age of Comic Book Art; its introduction, in which I place the images and ideas encountered throughout the book in a socio-political, historical framework, is composed of essentially the identical concepts from my aborted exhibit idea.

The idea to do a book instead on this period of comic book history goes back even further, to 1970, when Jim Steranko, on the heels of his amazing barnstorming stint at Marvel Comics, wrote, designed and published the first of his twin-volume History of Comics, which remain the best books of their kind, and were—and continue to be—a source of inspiration. Except they were about The Golden Age of Comics (circa 1938-1950), the period Steranko grew up with and was affected by, not The Silver Age of Comics (circa 1956-1972) that I, and the entire Baby Boom Generation, was turned on to.

Steranko himself might have been inspired by the first great book about comic book history, Jules Feiffer’s 1965 The Great Comic Book Heroes, even though it’s more of a handful of wonderfully written, witty essays on specific Golden Age superheroes Feiffer followed avidly as a boy, accompanied by reprints of the origins or earliest adventures of those heroes. Feiffer may not have realized what it was like to be an 8-year old comic book fan in 1966 and hear that there was actually a book in the Fair Lawn public library about comics!

How did you come to design the Fredbot?

When you asked me to come up with my take on the classic Japanese-influenced sci-fi trope of the giant-monster-attacks-the-tiny-people back in 1997 for your first Frederator brand image—but make it a robot, and make it look like you [I don’t remember this last part], to boot—I immediately thought of the animated robot Gigantor, one of the first Japanese anime to reach American shores in the wake of the Batman TV series in 1966. Once I started drawing my version of Big G, it was a no-brainer to add the distinctive Seibert horned-rim eyeglasses, topped by the equally-distinctive Seibert eyebrows, and voila! Fredbot!

OK, I know you love Bruce Springsteen. How come?

I believe there are Four Pillars of Rock & Roll, in roughly chronological order: Elvis, Dylan, the Beatles, and Jimi Hendrix, representing the greatest voice, lyrics, band, and guitar; hence, The Four Pillars.

Like Elvis, Bruce is a singular, dynamic presence with a commanding vocal power; his lyrics and songs have stood the test of time and made him the only one of the many “new Dylans” to actually live up to the label, living a true, real rock & roll life while writing it down, The Great American Novel but on records, great American songs chronicling not only his life and career, but that of the postwar generation that has come of age with him, timeless anthems like “Born To Run,” “Thunder Road” and “Born in the USA,” just to mention three of his greatest hits; with The E Street Band, Bruce captured the sheer joy, enthusiasm and positive energy of the early Beatles; and, like Hendrix and any of the other guitar gods—Clapton, Page, Van Halen, The Edge—Bruce has played searing, soulful, melodic leads with the best of them.

But Bruce isn’t one of those rock & roll pillars—he’s the rock & roll roof built over them, the complete rock & roller, putting it all together as no one has before. Bruce Springsteen is, quite simply, the promise of rock & roll...delivered.

His uncompromising and unparalleled creativity, body of work, attitude, and performance and work ethic have been an inspiration to me since I first heard the song “Born to Run” over a tinny AM car radio when I was 17 years old in the summer of ’75. Especially when I lecture, I employ what I call the “Springsteen Performing Style,” which is to give your 110% all to your audience, whether it’s 10 people or 10,000 people.

Bruce is also a bonafide moral leader for our age, doing what a true leader should be doing: living his life by example, and using it to inspire and exhort others to do the same.

He is the true President of the United States.

Thanks for the interview Arlen. And of course, thanks for the Fredbot! Happy New Year!

[ferluccia]

I love the Victuuri fluff prompts you post!! The baking vlogger Victor one in particular made my heart all warm and fuzzy (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

aaaaaaaa omg thank you!

here’s a little something, then: 

The idea came up when they were done with the season and brainstorming different ways of enjoying each other’s company in their first off-season together in St. Petersburg. It didn’t matter who’d thought of it first, what mattered was that, at some point, they’d both agreed it would be a sweet idea and that they’d have a lot of fun doing it.

After a couple of days of research, they record a cooking video. Yuuri offers to record (still somewhat camera shy, Victor knows, but he dismisses that saying he’s had enough experience helping Phichit record videos) and Victor, with Makkachin’s well-behaved support, are the stars of the show. 

Their video goes viral in a matter of minutes. It’s impressive. 

It starts off very simple: a shot with a happy Makkachin lolling her tongue and a cute little mug cake on the counter with a simple handwritten title overlaid on it. Then, it transitions to a very cozy and domestic Victor Nikiforov, who waves at the camera with a bright smile. Makkachin, at his side, wags her tail.

“Hi! I’m Victor Nikiforov and today I’ll share my personal, homemade mug cake recipe! It’s very simple and quick to make, an ideal snack for a rainy afternoon like today when you want to relax at home and watch some movies,” he winks playfully at the camera. “After I’m done baking, my recipe is going to be judged by the best mug cake connoisseur who is going to give it a score based on taste, appearance and…" 

He waggles his eyebrows comically as the camera zooms in his face - perhaps a bit too close when only Victor’s eyes are in the shot. He hesitates, his dramatic expression breaking when Yuuri bursts out laughing off camera, and it abruptly cuts. 

Victor is smiling on the next shot as if he’s been laughing for the past five minutes, and his clear effort to keep it together is adorable.

"Alright, as I was saying, my mug cake is going to be judged on taste, appearance and overall presentation - ‘is it a mug cake?’ is the question we’re trying to answer here today. With me, I have Makkachin - say hi, Makka!” Makkachin wags her tail vigorously. “She’s going to give me moral support - something of dire importance when you’re baking mug cake. Let’s get the ingredients!”

On a quick little montage, all items are displayed on the pristine kitchen counter. Those with keen eyes can tell that Yuuri is the mastermind behind that staged shot, all ingredients neatly placed and ready to be mixed. Again, overlaid handwritten instructions with cute little arrows point out how many portions are going to be needed.

“I came up with this recipe when I was living with Yakov and Lilia,” he says, and it’s clear he’s not speaking to the audience because he keeps looking at his fiancé off-camera as he beats an egg in the mug. “They were very strict about my diet when I was off-season, and I’d crave sweet things so I ended up making a small-sized cake using the least utensils possible.”

“And what are you doing now?” Yuuri’s sweet voice says off-camera, zooming in on Victor, who looks at him in confusion.

“The mug cake,” he states the obvious, pouring milk into the mug. Yuuri chuckles.

“You have to tell us! You have to talk to the camera, Vitya!”

“Oh!” He laughs. “Right, yes, so… Uh… After you’re done beating the egg you’re going to add oil and milk and mix it well - you know, that wet ingredients and dry ingredients rule. Is it a rule?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri hums.

“Well, OK. I’m using the same spoon to pour and mix the ingredients because… It’s always the same spoon. And I don’t want to wash a lot of dishes.”

“Sustainable cooking.”

“Exactly,” Victor chuckles as he adds chocolate powder and mixes carefully, all under Makkachin’s curious gaze. “So now we start adding the dry ingredients, but you have to be careful-” the camera switches to his face and zooms comically again, and the shot is all Victor’s eyes, sometimes only his mouth “-because you don’t want the flour to, uh, make bubbles. Bubbles?”

“Yeah, it gets…” Yuuri is very clearly trying not to laugh. “You have to mix it well, got it.”

“Exactly, you don’t want to find flour bombs in your mug cake,” the shot is in Victor’s hands as he adds sugar. “So we’re going to mix these first and leave flour and yeast last. Yuuri?”

“I’m recording.”

“All of me?”

All you can see is Victor’s hand on the screen, with his golden ring shining poetically.

“Yeah.”

The next shot is serious again, with Victor adding spoonfuls of flour with a tense expression.

“Oh, no.”

“What’s wrong, babe?”

Victor hesitates, with a spoon in one hand and sack of flour in the other, staring at the mug.

“I think I put too much flour.”

“Oh, no!”

“What do I do?” He bursts out laughing. “Oh, no!! I screwed up! It was supposed to be three spoons and I put four full ones? Help me, Yuuri!!” Victor whines, looking at the camera with supplicant eyes as he slowly swirls the ingredients in the mug.

“I can’t, I’m the cameraman,” he says with a chuckle.

“Makkachin!! Help me!!”

“You’re getting flour all over your shirt,” Yuuri laughs, and Victor pauses to look at the mess he’s made.

“Aw, no…”

A quick montage comes up with a close-up shot of Victor mixing the flour in the mug then adding some yeast. The tragedy, it seems, was limited to Victor’s drama, because the mixed ingredients look pretty good.

When it transitions to Victor again, the camera is positioned closer, and it’s clear Victor cannot look away from his gorgeous cameraman.

“Now that Makkachin has saved the day - thanks, Makka! - we are going to put it in the microwave for three minutes. And be careful, it’s going to be super hot when it’s done, so wait a few minutes until it’s cooled down before eating.”

Another quick montage of the mug spinning in the microwave, Victor cleaning up the counter and Makkachin being a good girl plays to the sound of a light, cheery music. Then, the microwave beeps and Victor picks the mug carefully and sets it on the counter.

Back to its original placement, the camera now frames Victor, Yuuri and Makkachin, all looking excited about the mug cake. 

Looking at the camera, Victor announces:

“So now I have here, with me, an authority in mug cakes,” Yuuri hides his smile behind his hand as he gazes at Victor. “A man who has traveled around the world looking for the perfect mug cake recipe and who is going to judge my homemade mug cake with the highest of standards. Isn’t that right, Yuuri?”

Yuuri, blushing, nods and tries to appear serious.

“Should I mouth-feed you the bite?” Victor asks in all seriousness. And Yuuri, apparently forgetting about the camera, smiles and nods at him.

“What am I judging you on?" 

"Oh,” Victor pauses with the fork in his hand. “You have to give me a score based on taste, appearance and is it a mug cake?”

“OK.”

“So, please, have a look,” he gestures at the mug and Yuuri steps closer, inhaling a deep breath and humming in approval.

“It smells amazing. And it looks a bit…” Yuuri shakes his head, “I think I can see some flour you didn’t manage to mix.”

“Damn it.”

“But I’m intrigued. Let’s taste it!”

And, in what could possibly be the most romantic scene in all video, Victor takes a forkful of chocolate cake and feeds it to Yuuri, his other hand automatically reaching to caress his cheek. Yuuri gazes back into his eyes, fluttering his eyes shut as he tastes the bite and nods, eyes closed. Victor watches him expectantly, his hand seemingly forgotten on Yuuri’s cheek and grazing the pad of his thumb like it’s a natural instinct. 

“It’s very good.”

Victor sighs with relief, laughing with Yuuri at his own reaction.

“It tastes sweet, but not too sweet, you know?”

“Exactly! I had to fool Yakov somehow - sorry, Yakov.”

“I really like it, this is delicious,” Yuuri pokes him for another bite.

“OK, but the final question…”

“… Is it a mug cake?”

Victor nods, expectantly. And taking his time, Yuuri grabs another bite and chews on it, pondering, raising an eyebrow just to tease Victor. 

“It is a mug cake.”

Victor cheers, asking Makkachin for a high-five and giving Yuuri a gentle kiss on his cheek, wrapping him in a hug as Yuuri chuckles.

“Final score?” He asks, excited.

“I’d give this mug cake a gold medal.”

“Wow! Yuuri!” Victor beams, wrapping his arms tighter around Yuuri. “Alright, and what should we do next?”

Tapping his chin with his finger (a classic Nikiforov quirk), Yuuri takes a moment to think about it.

“Cookies.”

“Cookies!” Victor echoes, excited. “Do you know how to bake cookies?”

“I do!”

“Perfect! For my next video, we will have a very special guest,” he winks at the camera. “Thanks for watching!”

[ficmylife4]

First Reading BNHA 109-120

I’m getting frustrated by the whiplash as the issues with hero society are openly highlighted in the manga and then shounen tropes override it as if fighting and explosions are the best things. 

The rescue portion of the provisional license exam. Aizawa seemed to be admitting his class wasn’t prepared for rescue and disaster relief situations, and they did seem out of their depth and unsure what to do while other contestants smoothly set up a main base and lines of communication and triage. So is it that students don’t learn what to do in these situations until second year of school, or that UA was focusing extra on combat only because of the villain attacks? Either way, it feels like Aizawa and UA were irresponsible to want to give the class the chance to get provisional licenses they weren’t ready for, especially when besides Yaoyorozu it seemed most of 1-A was lost and by not doing much is how they didn’t get enough points deducted to fail. Are we just supposed to cheer for our favorites winning? Without thinking UA was desperate because the restrictions on them being able to protect themselves without licenses are unfair, or that the test-makers are making it easier to give out licenses because they need to bolster their ranks and pretend they’re still strong after All Might’s retirement? Is it a good shounen manga where the characters have achieved another milestone, or a commentary on these teenagers being pushed into positions of responsibility they aren’t ready for and we’ll have to see if they sink or swim with the burden? The Hero Public Safety Commission admitting unified groups of hero squads should be relief on because they don’t have the single pillar of All Might anymore was more adaptable than I expected of them.

Twice listening to Miyagi on the TV was fantastic outlook on society and unrest and what could be happening. 

Bakugou and Midoriya’s fight. I don’t know what to say. If I was reading a regular novel with this, the red flags of this toxic mess of a relationship are all over the place. Bakugou has severe problems and a poisonous outlook and needs therapy and Izuku’s mindset about him is horribly unhealthy. The hypocrisy of Bakugou trying to figure out if he was looking up to All Might wrong and Izuku’s way was right (admiring him because he always wins vs admiring him because he always saves people, with a smile) through a violent fight and that Deku’s still weak that even with AM’s help is disappointing is irritating. Midoriya though is also annoying as Horikoshi stumbles over what supposedly makes him the protagonist and heroic all the time. The final moral of the battle seems to be that Bakugou’s selfish desire to win and beat down others to know his place is a good thing just as Midoriya’s desire to save people (ignoring Midoriya’s toxic understanding of relationships and worth and emotions that’s been shown to make him TERRIBLE at reassurance, calm, support, or as a role model that would actually help save people’s hearts) is a good thing. All Might really seems to be speaking for the author here, Word of God laying out exactly what the audience of a shounen manga who likes cheering on fights should agree with, and not be a scene with unreliable narrators that a reader can think analyze critically. 

This fight shouldn’t have happened at all and maybe I’ll expand on all the reasons in another post, but as Izuku literally begs for Bakugou to stop until he decides somehow both that as a caring ‘friend’ who understands Bakugou he needs to let Bakugou beat him bloody because that’s the only way Bakugou would be comfortable letting his feelings out and yet Izuku also won’t be a punching bag anymore despite not regretting all the time he spent deliberately equating the abusive ass to the idea of strength as they grew up... I’m not getting into it.

The skewed take on physical violence, hierarchy among people by strength, and teens needing to be responsible very young are all fine shounen manga things I’ve seen done well before, but because they were in environments where the rules were understood. If BNHA’s hero society is supposed to be considered critically in the same manga, those elements are exactly some of the issues, they can’t keep flopping back and forth on when it’s acceptable and when it’s a problem! Selfish or violent heroes are a real problem except when violence is a cool trait and compassion is important except when the drive to be the best is better, not using your power for your own gain and prioritizing saving people is the highest form of heroism except when an against-the-rules brawl after curfew to punch out your feelings no matter how the target feels about it and damage that might be done that could limit effectiveness of actually saving people in fights that matter is the right decision -- WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US, HORIKOSHI! I can’t even tell if the fragile single Symbol of Peace that All Might was is supposed to be a good thing or not!

[scrambledgegs]

Dead Kids

     Filipino indie film, Dead Kids is more than your stereotypical coming-of-aged type of movie. The film centralizes around a group of middle to upper class, private high school students who conspire together and hatch an amateur plan to kidnap the resident school bully. By kidnapping him and holding him for ransom for Php 30 Million, they will be able to kill two birds with one stone – get even and teach their tormentor a lasting lesson, and secondly, get their hands on a hefty sum of money for personal reasons.

  In this respect, only one of the kidnappers seemed to have “the most valid reason” because unlike the other students in the private school, he is the only scholar and in “real” need of money to pay for college and other basic necessities. In fact, he resorts to various “rackets” just to keep financially afloat. He is constantly marginalized and unaccepted by his peers at school. This aspect of the movie also highlights social divides that plagues the Philippines as well, and is exacerbated by growing issues of entitlement among the wealthy and privileged.

As the movie unfolds, as expected, the group collectively bungle the kidnapping operations; they destroy families, dreams and lives. The movie is both comedic and tragic – which is why it really resonated with me. It is very real.

    What struck me the most was the formulation and execution of the whole plan – the scenes and dialogue hit close to home. I recalled my younger school-kid self, as well as my peers back in the day. We conversed very similarly, in a mix of Tagalog and English and used slang words. We also had the same, typical encompassing adolescent problems, the usual things like – school, grades, barkada, relationships, peer pressure, gimikan and yes, vices.

     The dark and stark difference however is that these kids are beyond your average group; they are quite scary. They are made of different stuff – they are very much alive, but at a young age, already seem dead inside, devoid of morals and values. To even think about kidnapping a classmate is one thing, but to actually have the resolve to execute the plan is really frightening. At one point, you will feel sorry for the kidnapped bully, despite what he has done to them individually in the past scenes. Adults are also hardly present in the movie. It is as though these kids live in a warped world with no authority and supervision. Mind you, this movie is based on actual events that transpired in 2018 among university students in Manila. The movie will really make you think about then and now, and the factors which are pushing our youth over the edge.

The Age of the Internet of things: Anxiety, Depression, Violence and Envy

    Dead Kids touched on many prevailing themes faced by our generation today – specifically by Millennials and now the Generation Z (Gen Z). Over and over again in the movie, social media was shown to play a disastrous effect on the psyche of these kids, mirroring what is happening in real life today. At a click of a button and swipe of fingertips, everyone knows what everyone else is doing because of social media, and that makes people compare themselves to others. This continuous, 24/7 exposure breeds anxiety, depression and envy – especially for young people who are unable to compartmentalize or differentiate social media lives from reality. Affected young people feel like they are just not good enough, as compared with for example: a classmate who has topped the class with the highest grades, or their athletic friend who has won a championship title, or another colleague who possesses the latest designer clothes, or an affluent friend who recently took a trip to Europe over summer vacation. They want to achieve or get their hands on the same things as quickly as they could, so that they too can post and boast about it online. Social media encourages instant gratification, and many of our young people forget the value of hard work and replace it with what they will call “passion” – in the form of unsteady and capricious whims. As a business professor of mine said, this generation is concerned “with reaching only the summit, but forget about the climb.” This could not be any truer.

Cyber-Bullying and Disconnection

    Let us also not forget the issue of cyber-bullying. As shown in Dead Kids, one of the kidnappers recalls how the resident bully is able to bully him in all mediums – physically in school, as well as online, in front of everyone, and get away with it. Those on the posting-end, who receive numerous likes, views and comments, feel as though their online taunts are encouraged and justified, and those as the object of cyber-bullying, feel as though they deserve this treatment. What makes it even worse is that nobody is really held accountable. You can easily see how this can make one spiral downwards in self-loathing and anger. It does not come as a surprise that the recent literature today speaks of significantly increasing rates of depression, aggression, anxiety – and even suicide among the youth. Another matter hand-in-hand with this are issues on personal connections, or the lack thereof. Why does it seem that young people today feel like they have no safe space or outlet to talk about what they are really going through? We have heard this before: that the more we are connected through the cyber world and technology, the more we have become disconnected in our actual and personal relationships.

Narcissism and Materialism

    There was also a memorable scene in Dead Kids during the drop-off of the ransom money at the agreed location. (The location happens to be real-life bar called 2020, in Pasong Tamo where I have been to a couple of time before, and coincidentally today is 02.20.2020). The ransom money is put together by the victim’s father, an alleged drug lord, and he places the money in a designer bag. The moment the bag is plopped in the center of the dance floor, amidst the blazing trap music and flashing neon lights, many girls race for it, not knowing its contents. The scene was done really well, and you just think to yourself, “Wow, have we really become this materialistic and shallow, that we would physically fight over a designer bag?” In turn, the raucous compromises the whole operation, and one of the girls is held at gunpoint.

The Death of a Nation

    I would go so far to say that I believe there is a breakdown of values in the Philippines and in the world today. We can blame social media, but ultimately, we also have to look inwards at ourselves.  Sometimes, we too propagate social injustices with our simple, unconscious actions.

    Our leaders as well have a responsibility. Unfortunately, the highest leader of the land, our incumbent President has not personified anything substantial to be emulated, but we are either gripped with fear, indifference or blind loyalty and let things be. Regarding his character alone, on TV for instance, our children watch our President curse and drop profanity in every statement likes there’s no tomorrow. They will grow up thinking that this is totally okay and cool, and then we wonder why we have dead kids. It is because we are becoming a Dead nation.

    Moreover, he has made rape jokes, sexist and sordid comments against women, demeaning statements against Pope Francis and the Church, but his supporters continue to make unfounded excuses for this behavior. Our journalists and media as well are being silenced with real threats – to livelihood and life. Those who attempt to speak out are punished without due process and are ridiculed in a dehumanizing manner – Senator Leila de Lima being the biggest example of this. Most importantly, he continues to justify his drug war and extra judicial killings through conjured up data and convoluted truths. Have we lost our sights on human rights, life and God? These scenarios seem all too familiar.

Parallelisms to Martial Law of the Marcos Regime

    We can draw many softer parallelisms of what is happening today to the atrocities of Martial Law under the 20-year Marcos dictatorship. Filipinos are truly quick to forget or love to choose to be ignorant. What I find truly unacceptable, that in this age where information is abundant and easily accessible, turns out many Filipinos, not just among the younger Millennials and Gen Z groups, but actually older people too, have a skewed version of Martial Law. They think it was a Golden Era of discipline and crime-free streets, not knowing about the countless and undocumented people who were imprisoned, murdered and tortured. To say the least, some do not even know Martial Law once existed in the Philippines. This ignorance and lack of information is not limited to just the uneducated, but persists even among private school educated Filipinos. Apparently, this part of Philippine history – Ninoy Aquino, Martial Law and the 1986 Edsa People Power Revolution is not really taught or emphasized in our education system. It is truly a tragedy because we Filipinos were the victors of this miraculous, peaceful revolt which ultimately toppled Marcos, and yet we have not been able write history as it should be.

    President Duterte was elected because he sold the idea that the Philippines can only be great again with an “iron-fisted” leader, the same dream that Marcos peddled to the Philippines. Today with President Duterte at the helm, the myth of the iron-fisted leader is again debunked, and now is an unfolding tragedy.

The Importance of Real, Personal Relationships

    The movie’s title, I’d like to believe, is a comment on the actual reality of extra judicial killings happening in the Philippines today, but the movie also tells us that being a Dead Kid means more than the literal sense. Perhaps we’ve all felt like a dead kid at some point in life. I personally know what it felt like to be one; I can say that I have felt it twice in my youth. I had lost my way, my purpose and felt dead inside. But what helped me conquer my demons? It was my support system composed of my family and various groups of friends. During my most vulnerable and weak moments, they had been there all along and instilled the strength I needed to bounce back. Very importantly as well, they were real friends who had the courage to intervene and tell me to my face when I was becoming the worst version of myself. You need these types of people – or you will really go through life thinking, either that you are completely alone or completely invincible.

    Many years later, now that I have a daughter, I know that I cannot shield her completely from the problems of the world, but I hope I can truly imbibe one of the most important qualities – and that is resilience. I know that like me, she will fail at things. She will get hurt. She will be rejected, at times, for no good reason. However, I want her to be tough, to be brave and rise to the occasion when needed. Giving up is not the answer. She must also remember to always be kind, fair and have integrity despite how unbelievable people can be. We are all dealt with a different deck of cards in life, but to be able to achieve that winning hand lies in you.

Generation Alpha

    Analysts have dubbed the Generation Alpha (Gen Alpha) as the generation that will succeed the Gen Zs. They are those born in 2010 up until the year 2025, supposedly the “children of the Millennials,” our children. I think about this movie Dead Kids, and then I think to myself that I do not want my daughter and our generation’s children to grow up with fractured values and distorted principles. Don’t you want to handover to your children, a world that you can be proud of?

    I am no expert, and I am no Mother Teresa, but I do know that as early as their formative years, we must be conscious and deliberate about the things we say and do – because they will mimic what they see. We must teach them what is morally wrong, even if it is deemed okay by society. The family unit is the very first thing that a child knows – so us as parents, or as older people wizened by life experiences, truly have that responsibility to set a good example. Education is also key for political consciousness and value formation.

    Like I said earlier, when I was going through tough times in my youth, what made all the difference were my family and friends. I was lucky enough to have grown up with the right group of friends – those that had a positive influence throughout my entire life. It was never about material things, but rather what was intangible and essential.

     We have to be very present and visible in our children’s lives – but to also give them sufficient space to grow and make mistakes. Of course, it is easier said than done – but the growing demographic of dead kids, both literally and figuratively, is today’s reality. I do not want to wake up one day and find that we have turned our children into Dead Kids.

[lemonsorbae]

*this list is updated frequently. last updated 06/21/19.

This is a compilation of my absolute favorite DeanCas fics of all time, they are fics I have and will read over, and over, and over again. They are the crème de la crème, the cream of the crop, the golden ticket of DeanCas fanfiction, my friends. 

Please enjoy.

-organized from lowest word count - highest 

♦ put your hands on my waist by: casfallsinlove (2,182 ♦ M)

Summary: Dean is sitting at the window seat in their dark bedroom, the one that opens onto the fire escape. He must be cold. He's wearing nothing but boxers, miles and miles of lovely bare skin exposed to the cool breeze drifting in. If he is, he doesn't seem to care. 

♦ okay_cupid by: orange_crushed (4,591 ♦ T)

Summary: "The dating thing?" Dean frowns. "Online dating is for weirdos. Robots. Dudes hanging out in their basements."

"You hang out in your basement."

"I have an air hockey table down there,” Dean says, icily.

♦ Love Lab by: youaresunlight (5,385 ♦ M)

Summary: When Dean sees the flyer for a research study offering $75 to participants, he doesn’t think twice before signing him and Cas up. The problem, of course, is that it’s a romantic couples study and while Cas is his roommate and best friend, they are very much not in a relationship.

♦ No Strings by: lastknownwriter  (6,201 ♦ T) 

Summary: Casual sex, no strings attached; it seemed like the perfect offer…

*fic removed by author. please contact author for PDF.  

♦ Going Postal by: captainbarnes (6,771 ♦ NR)

Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak became pen pals because of a school assignment, and they tried not to get attached to one another. They really did. Sort of. Barely.

♦ the earth around me by: casfallsinlove (7,419 ♦ M)

Summary: “I’m running away,” Dean blurts and fuck, it feels good to say that out loud.Cas blinks at him over a box of cod liver oil. He plants it unceremoniously on the floor and pulls off his creased Walgreens apron.“I’m coming with you.”Okay then.

(In which Dean and Cas run away together and learn how to be free.)

♦ Something Unexpected by:cloudyjenn (7,671 ♦ NC-17)

Summary: Mr. Novak is Dean’s principal. Dean would like him to be more.

*journal has been deleted -- i do not have a copy of this pdf. if you do, and wouldn’t mind sharing, please hmu.

♦ Don’t Panic by: deans1911 (8,991 ♦ E)

Summary: Dean is a Secret Service agent. Castiel is his ex-KGB handler.

*removed by author.

♦ Astrophysics and Tea ‘Verse by: casfallsinlove (10,363 ♦ E)

Summary: Wherein Dean (who owns a bookstore) and Cas (an astrophysics grad student) have been best friends since they were kids, NASA nearly screws things up, and tea is mentioned far too often. 

♦ Chili Peppers by: justanothersong (12,707 ♦ T)

Summary: Dr. Winchester hears an off hand comment from one of his students and find himself browsing a website dedicated to rating university professors. He’s not surprised by his rating — but is a little miffed to see the department chair has an even better one. Clearly, something needs to be done about this.

♦ Today, your barista ‘verse by: orange_crushed (13,601 ♦ T)

Summary: "Is that-"

"My number," says Dean, because he's a fucking champion, he's cool, he's collected, he's Captain Smooth of the USS Smoothtania, that's right. He is definitely not leaning against the counter for moral support. Cas doesn' looked seduced or impressed, though. He does not look like a dude who just met Captain Smooth and wants to ride the loveboat. He looks puzzled.

♦ It's Always the End of the World Somewhere by: scaramouche (21,126 ♦ E)

Summary: The status quo is this: Dean is the popular captain of the football team, and Castiel is the off-kilter nobody who doesn’t so much as breathe the same air as Dean. Then senior year happens and the status quo is shot to smithereens.

♦ Shortskirts 'verse by: twentysomething (22,377 ♦ E) 

Summary: So, they’re in high school, and then they’re in college, and it’s mostly not about Taylor Swift, except when it is 

*This fic is available to registered AO3 members only.

♦ Shut Up (Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is) by: kototyph (23,970 ♦ E) 

Summary: Dean's done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways.

Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov-- likable guys he's ever known. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file. 

♦ Asunder by: rageprufrock (23,817 ♦ E) 

Summary: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6) 

♦ An Exercise in 'Worthless' by: beastofthesky (26,547 ♦ M) 

Summary: "I mean, you’re–” He gestures at Cas, in his neat oxford shirt and nice pants. “–and I’m a high school dropout who tattoos for a living.” 

Wherein Dean makes a hefty living as a tattoo artist who owns the space next to Gabriel's cafe. Sam attends the local university. When Gabe's cousin comes to live with him while starting grad school at Sam's university, Dean thinks for sure that all his negative karma's coming to bite him in the ass because Cas clearly has a thing for Sam. No one would ever choose him over Sam. That's just logic.

♦ The Way The War Was Won by: deans1911 (39,084 ♦ E)

Summary: Dean and Cas are buddy cops faking a marriage for the benefits and tax breaks. Except for the part where Dean’s sort of actually in love with his partner and doesn’t realize it yet. 

*removed by author 

♦ Unlimited Potential by: lastknownwriter (45,237 ♦ M)

Summary: Dean Winchester has it all: perfect grades, popularity, the brightest future. He knows exactly who he is and exactly what he wants.

And then someone unexpected shows him how very much he doesn’t.

*fic removed by author. please contact author for PDF.  

♦ The Laundromat ‘Verse by: ozonecologne (48,940 ♦ M)

Summary: Dean runs a laundromat. The punk kids come to him for all their clothing repair needs.

That includes their bad boy ringleader, Castiel.

A collection of ficlets.

♦ Your Heart Makes by: schmerzerling (51,884 ♦ M) 

Summary: Castiel is directionless, depressed, and working in one of the worst possible places to be so—Disneyland Park. Seeing hundreds of excited people every day, trying to smile for the customers, and dealing with the fact that his infuriating brother Gabriel is so readily capable of every park job he throws himself into makes Castiel feel like he could barely manage to keep his head above the foot of water in the “It’s a Small World” canal that he oversees. 

All of that changes when the universe sees fit to put him in a Disneyesque love story opposite the handsome animator in the window on Main Street who doesn’t care about Castiel’s lethargic lack of idealism—so long as he can make caustic Cas come to appreciate every attraction in the park. But life isn’t a Disney fairy tale, and even though an easy out and a happy ending are what Castiel seeks, he’ll begin to wonder if the happiest ending isn’t really an ending at all. 

♦ Thunder & Angels by: pm_lo (54,263 ♦ E)

Summary: Castiel’s family owns the shoddily-regulated coal mine where John Winchester works, so Dean storms Cas’s mansion, demanding answers from the drugged-out trust-fund kid. In exchange for his help repairing the mine, Cas demands Dean live with him for three months and give Cas a shot at seducing him by allowing him one kiss a day.

♦ Grotesque by: lastknownwriter (58,314 ♦ E)

Summary: Deep in the heart of the bayou, a winged creature has paid a long and lonely penance for a tragedy history has forgotten. A fateful storm and a soldier pure of heart are about to change his world. A Dean/Castiel Beauty and the Beast AU.

*fic removed by author. please contact author for PDF.  

♦ Highwaymen. by: orange_crushed (66,389 ♦ M)

Summary: Dean closes his eyes. He is under a blanket in his memories, fabric pulled up under his chin and his face pressed near to hers on the pillow. His father is asleep, snoring slightly, hands loose and expression happy, curled around her on the other side. She's speaking in whispers. He knows that she was already pregnant then, that Sam was on his way into their lives, even though he'd had no idea what exactly that meant at the time. He can almost see her face still, warm and orange in the light of her lumoscircling their heads like a firefly, but every now and then she blurs in his vision, like a lost thread of consciousness, something half-remembered. Bit by bit, he's losing her.

♦ Past, Present by: lastknownwriter (83,867 ♦ E)

Summary: When bar owner Dean Winchester meets Castiel Novak, he is only trying to be friendly to the lonely professor; he never expects to fall in love. When a tragic accident inadvertently erases the life they’ve built together, will they be able to find each other again? Or will Dean be left with the memory of a love he couldn’t save and a heart hardened by a simple twist of fate? 

*fic removed by author. please contact author for PDF. 

♦ Freefall by: lastknownwriter (128,542 ♦ E)

Summary: The most exciting kindergarten teacher Dean Winchester’s life ever gets is when he plays mechanic in his uncle Bobby’s shop on the weekends.That is until a birthday party goes tequila-nova and he trips into a one-night stand with an incredibly hot firefighter named Castiel. Dean’s life gets a lot more exciting after that.

*fic removed by author. please contact author for PDF.

♦ For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention  by: thursdaysfallenangel (143,594 ♦ E) 

Summary: Dean Winchester knows two things about hockey, two things his dad made sure he knew. One, hockey is a guy’s sport, and two, hockey is family. Hockey meant Sam and Bobby and Benny and Victor and Gabriel and hell, his entire team. So when Victor gets traded, Russian-star-turned-new teammate Castiel Krushnic becomes a threat. As much as Dean hates him for that, the longer he sticks around, the more he begins to threaten that first rule too. Dean’s been taught his whole life that those who play hockey should not be captivated by deep accented voices and the way a guy handles his stick, so how the hell is he supposed to justify what he’s starting to think about Cas? All Dean wanted at the beginning of the season was to win, and now all he wants to do is figure out how he feels about Cas and how to deal with it without ruining his career and tearing his family apart. 

*if any of the links don’t work/are wrong, message me, if you need a PDF of any of the fics listed, please contact me. i have copies of them all. *if you are an author and do not want your work being distributed, please message me.

[D/C Rec List Master Post] [all DeanCas recs] [fic rec tags] [more fic rec lists]

[image original source]

[hipandcriticalblog]

Morality: Is There A Right And Wrong?

May, 10, 2017 9:27 PM                                                                                          Xavier J. Jones 

   You have been working all day. All week. All year. Working the hardest you've ever worked in your life. Tax season shines it’s pretty little head around and you're smacked with the biggest refund this side of the timbuktu. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when the direct deposit drops? Treat yourself of course! You visit the closest shopping center and buy enough groceries and household items to last three months of strict martial law. You take out three hundred dollars of the ATM and go to the mall.

    I haven’t been working, due to the fact that at any moment, my wife could be having baby. I have to take care of her and the home. Each one of the first three pregnancies came with extreme complications. Our babies were healthy and strong, but my wife and life hasn't been the same. I’m behind on my mortgage and the bank is trying to foreclose my home and sell it to the highest bidder. Medical bills are catching up, the kids are hungry and my wife needs money for the prescriptions that are making her sicker. Every bridge that I could

have walked across for relief has been burned in the process of my downward spiral to the gutter. What do I do? 

    On your way out of the mall I spot you at your car, you drop thirteen twenty dollar bills as you fidget your keys out your pocket. I take you by surprise and knock you the fuck out. I run off with the money, your car and everything in it. Not to mention those fly ass Nike

shoes and Polo draws you just bought.

    Was I right to assault you? In the eyes of the law I’m a criminal, but the children who live in my house that get to eat dinner tonight believe so. My wife who gets to sleep a little bit better, is also in my corner. I’m pretty sure you hate me, but I could honestly care less. My moral compass clearly in the direction that secures my family's livelihood.

    Philosopher, Immanuel Kant’s categorical imperative concept, implies that my family is my utmost, absolute, moral responsibility. A constructing force, that says I must do any and all to provide and protect. Even if that means knocking you off for everything you worked for. Your health or safety is not my responsibility.

    According to Kant’s theory. You hold your own moral obligation to protect and defend yourself from people like me.

    Shootings and abuse of a black men, women and children are justified every day. The abuse is shelled out by the police of our country. Most of these situations are cut and dry, straight to the point. A (poorly) trained, paid officer, loses his cool; or thinks with his finger resulting in an innocent person dead.

    What is Mr. Officer searching his thoughts for on his way to the office? Justification. Why was he in the right to use his power and position of authority to assassinate a civilian. In a perfect world, the officer would be taken to jail and laid out to rot until the easy truth is reviled. He would be taken from work, and his family will be left to fend without him.

    If Kant’s topic is applied, and everyone sticks to the same story Mr. Officer has the moral duty to defend his own life and career. Even if it means desecrating the family and legacy of another human being.

    Put on a different lens, let's look at it through a filter of virtue ethics. The term has more layers than a poor kid walking to school in the cold, but I'm going to focus on how it relates to keeping the relations and relationships of humankind sacred. A philosophy more for the common, greater good.

    Does a dead civilian, a lying officer, an untruthful police force and twisted media system sound like your idea of virtue?

I don't sense the shining light either.

    If you're looking for more ways to morally chastise corrupt cops, research utilitarian ethics. But let's carry on, this isn't about them, it's about us.

    You call your best friend and notify them of your situation and location. What are you thinking to yourself on the quiet ride back home. Are you happy you escaped the ordeal with your life? Are you asking yourself why you? Do you plan to seek revenge? Where do your morals currently rest?

    Time has passed. Your life has been dandy since our little incident. The bus has became your main source of transportation, but you adjust until you have enough money to buy the car you really want. The bus let's you off at your stop. A journey awaits but it has to be done. Along the way you spot a car that looks just like yours. Three kids get out and run into a shitty house.

    Everything inside you is hot lava. Your mind says home but your feet travel towards the direction of the suspicious vehicle. The .45 caliber pistol you keep concealed just in case is in your hand. Because you may have high moral standards, but you're not a fool. 

  The closer you get the scene the more certain you are that you're about to be face to face with your attacker.You snatch open the front door and lay eyes on me. I'm frozen in an unbelievable stupor. I’m lost for words.

What are you going to do? 

What are you morally obligated to do?

Do you even give a fuck about that right now?

    If you pulled your trigger, and rolled my dead ass body into the street and took your car back I personally wouldn't be upset. Why would I? Maybe things don't have to get so messy. You whack me upside my shit and reclaim your car.

    Would your actions differ if you spotted my wife and newborn baby in the back seat. How itchy would that trigger finger be if you knew it was taking a fresh baby away from the father they so desperately need.

    The good, moral thing to do, would be retrieving your belongings and letting my family go unscathed. But when has the right way ever been the fun way. I beat you, embarrassed, left you for dead and stole what you worked hard to achieve.

    No moral law or theory is going to get your dignity back. Nothing any philosopher has to say is going to unhurt your feelings, or make the lump on your head go down. The next move is up to you. Use what you've learned, and the things you continue to learn everyday to guide you to the right decision.

[scuttleboat]

If you're still up for it, i'm curious if you have any thoughts on what Bellamy's overall journey will be this season? Aside from, y'know, his whole (imo, unnecessary) redemption arc.

note: written after 406 

I think we’re in the middle of it, and one of the things that has been somewhat frustrating is that it’s kind of muddy what either Clarke or Bellamy’s character arcs are going to be. We’re halfway through, but neither of them have developed much or changed much since 403.  Octavia’s loss seemed like it would be significant but we still don’t know what the fallout will be for Bellamy.

Redemption in The 100

The concept of redemption is something that I think we as viewers have been hashing over since the first truly terrible things began to happen in season 2. We ask: 

Do these characters need to be redeemed? 

Is a redemption happening on screen?  

Even if we (the fans) may not think a “redemption arc” is required to like a character’s storyline, does that character themselves feel that they need to be redeemed in order to sleep at night?

What are the benchmarks of a “redemption arc” anyway, since it’s a thing that everyone talks about, yet seems to mean radically different things to different viewers.

Do we measure it by the religious ideas of penitence, atonement, etc? Or is there a pop fiction criteria for redemption that is unique to media, such as ‘feeling bad and doing something good so that the viewers are okay rooting for you again’?

Is a “redemption” possible in the accelerated timeline of the show, since on other series such a thing spans seasons or even the run of a series?

Why is everyone so sure that redemption arcs are happening or necessary?

And the one that gets to me:

Does the show even care about redemption as a storytelling trope, or is it enough in this world just to change one’s behavior?

That’s the one i think about a lot, wrt to characters like Bellamy, Lexa, Clarke, Kane, Jaha… who I’ll draw on since they’re some of the people with the highest body counts who are POV characters. With Clarke, she was devastated after 216, and she disappeared into the woods for 3 months. I think it was a conversation I had with @reblogginhood (so informative! she knows things.) last year about whether this period of forced isolation (similar to her year in the skybox) was her atonement for the deaths she allowed or caused in season 2.  In that case, her guilt was such that she seemed to need to punish herself, and the timeline of the series allowed for it.  

Lexa is a different case altogether: she tried to slaughter the kids at the dropship, she betrayed her allies and left them to be cannibalized, including the person she was falling in love with.  And yet, Lexa never displayed any indicators that she was undergoing a redemption arc, or even that she felt obligated to undergo one. I don’t think betraying Skaikru was a light decision for her by any means, and I think when she decided to protect them in s3 that it was a genuine move. Yet she never wept for the loss of life she caused, she never broke down and screamed and cried over her guilt…it wasn’t even clear that she felt any guilt at all. Responsibility yes, guilt no. She was a divine king doing what she need to protect her realm.  

Kane is another character who seems to feel, like Clarke, that atonement is required for ill deeds. He tries to sacrifice himself at the end of season 1, but Jaha “beats him to it”.  So Kane submits himself to the enemy in a dangerous self-sacrificing gesture in season 2, as his way to atone. That can be read as his redemption… maybe. Or is his redemption not the sacrifices, but actually the acts of good works that followed later? Was Kane’s redemption (for being part of a tyrranical Ark government) actually the choice to become a leader who acts in good faith, wisdom, and honor? Maybe he’s living that redemption every day, doing his best.

So maybe a character either thinks they need to atone or they don’t, what does “the narrative” think?  HA. TRICK QUESTION.  No one knows but JR and it’s up to us to read it and think it over. Fuck JR, go with “death of the author” if you want. In fact, I want to throw 2 definitions out here before I continue. These are, of course, overly simplistic explanations for complex theological and philosophical concepts, but it might help:

atonment - noun

satisfaction or reparation for a wrong or injury; amends.

(sometimes initial capital letter) Theology. the doctrine concerning the reconciliation of God and humankind, especially as accomplished through the life, suffering, and death of Christ.

Archaic. reconciliation; agreement.

redemption - noun

an act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed.

deliverance; rescue.

Theology. deliverance from sin; salvation.

atonement for guilt.

recovery by payment, as of something pledged.

For a lot of fans on a show this violent and this philosophical, there’s been discussion that a redemption comes “too soon” or isn’t “earned” if there isnt an act of atonement. Or sometimes people say the word “redemption” but they seem to be discussing atonement instead. paying for it, making amends, etc.  And often people talk as if the only way to “be redeemed” is by suffering.  There’s also, however, the concept that redemption comes through good works.  That we make amends for our misdeeds by choosing to do better. There are some acts that are too big to atone for, or there’s no one left to make amends to, and in that case one has to look instead to changing one’s behavior.  Making the choice to change.

And that’s brings me to Bellamy this season… [read more below the cut]

In 401 Kane told Bellamy to take it one day at a time (paraphrasing). Instead of obsessing about the past, make sure you do the right thing going forward, and this will ‘save’ you. While I know the Kane speech didn’t land well with everyone, in the abstract it’s a pretty well travelled philosophical idea. [[I don’t have the education to really get into it, but it’s a big part of some Christian dogma, for sure. I don’t have any education in Judaism but since JR is religious I’m sure that may factor in. And it’s part of American culture, which is where I (raging atheist) have absorbed it by osmosis.]]  When it comes to Bellamy’s character in season 4, especially with regards to a possible redemption… I think Bellamy wants very badly to atone. I think he has wanted that since 311-313 when he finally accepted that his actions were wrong according to his moral perspective. 

However, Bellamy is a very practical person. He doesn’t have time to run into the woods and atone in silent suffering. He doesn’t have time to go on a quest into the desert with 12 disciples looking for the promised land. Bellamy is cognizant of the immediate danger to his loved ones, so he’s going to act to protect them before he’s going to think about indulging in huge dramatic gestures of his sadness. Haters might want him to suffer but that’s just not realistic for this show. The most he can afford right now is to try to talk about his feelings (like to Riley and Echo in 405) or to put others before himself (like not wanting to be on the survivor list). There’s also the pressing matter that even if Bellamy were to do a big sacrificial gesture to atone and to earn redemption through suffering… that won’t help his sister live, and making sure Octavia survives matters a hell of a lot more to Bellamy than his self-image.

So is Bellamy going through a “redemption arc” right now?  Maybe. I don’t think he’s going through atonement, but I do think he’s trying to make wiser choices each day. I think he’s committing, as best he can, to save as many people he can each day (402), and he’s hoping that he’ll find some distant redemption by doing that. (if he’s even consciously thinking of it in those terms, which isn’t at all canon spoken, btw, so he might not be. He’s not trained in ethics or theology.)

What I think Bellamy is going through this season so far is a guilt arc.  He was in it for the back half of season 3, and he’s still in it. As things stand right now, I would like to think that his speech to Useless Riley in 405 was a wrap-up fo that. I felt guilt was pretty appropriate in 3B and starting season 4, since the writers have been trying to write their way back from their dumbfuck execution of his arc in 3a, but if he stays mired guilt for all season 4… that’s pretty one-note. I’m ready for that part of his character to move to the backburner. Not go away (lol this is The 100 after all), but no longer be the first bullet point on his character sheet every episode. I was with it up to a couple weeks ago, but this is mid season now!  I get it, Bellamy feels guilty.  Cool beans, BUT WHAT ELSE?  It’s definitely time for the writers to give him more to do emotionally.  As it is, though, I don’t think the show will let Bellamy move on until they let Octavia move on. That’s how it goes with the Blake siblings– when Octavia forgives Bellamy, he’ll be more able to forgive himself.  And that’s a totally fucked up thing to hinge one’s personal development on someone else…but these are the Blakes. They have a fucked up relationship. And before anyone asks, I’m not gonna get into whether it’s likely for Octavia to have or need a redemption arc because she’s is still in her emotional descent, and we don’t know what the other side is gonna be yet. Her collapse is in process.

To circle back around… I think one could make a really sound argument that  some characters see redemption as necessary (Clarke, Abby) and others don’t (Lexa, Murphy). So I don’t personally think that @the100writers feel it’s necessary every time. I think they’ve written a whole cast of people doing bad things, and some of those people are going to feel they have to make up for their mistakes, while others don’t. Whether or not that matches with what fans want to believe about their faves (Bellamy, Lexa, Murphy, Clarke) is always going to be up in the air.  IMO, it’s in-character for Bellamy to want to make amends, but it’s a fact of their world that he doesn’t have the opportunity. So he’s doing what he can one day at a time. Whether or not other fans think his actions require guilt or amends–and whether or not such things are being successfully shown on screen–is down to how we each interpret the show, and what unique circumstances we bring to our viewing experiences. In that vein, macro perspectives about whether giving a particular storyline to a particular character is an act of contributing to sex- or race-biased storytelling is also going to hugely depend on what what each viewer brings to the table, because not all of us see the same patterns at work.  And it runs into the storytelling reality that characters in spotlight roles means that they’re going to be faced with conflicts, negative circumstances, and ethical dilemmas. There’s supposedly no good guys on this show, so that means all of our faves are gonna do–and endure–terrible things.  Kill the idea that anyone here is a cupcake.*  People are going to die and people are going to kill, even people we think should be portrayed as noble or good. So it’s up to each viewer to look critically at a work of fiction, and talk about it, while at the same time understanding that at the end of the day no individual show or book or film is going to be everything we want, politically.  Whether or not we keep watching when a personal line is crossed is up to each of us to decide.

btw I think a lot of my opinions here about Bellamy’s s4 arc have been shaped by discussion I’ve had this season with other fans, so thanks for talking to me about Bellamy angst. Especially @mego42 and @storyskein and @velvet-tread, and more.  Talking to y’all is enlightening and makes me reconsider things all the time.

[imreadingafuckingbook]

Book Review - The Alchemists of Loom by Elise Kova

☆☆☆☆☆ 5/5 Stars

Her vengeance. His vision. Ari lost everything she once loved when the Five Guilds’ resistance fell to the Dragon King. Now, she uses her unparalleled gift for clockwork machinery in tandem with notoriously unscrupulous morals to contribute to a thriving underground organ market. There isn’t a place on Loom that is secure from the engineer turned thief, and her magical talents are sold to the highest bidder as long as the job defies their Dragon oppressors. Cvareh would do anything to see his sister usurp the Dragon King and sit on the throne. His family’s house has endured the shame of being the lowest rung in the Dragons’ society for far too long. The Alchemist Guild, down on Loom, may just hold the key to putting his kin in power, if Cvareh can get to them before the Dragon King’s assassins. When Ari stumbles upon a wounded Cvareh, she sees an opportunity to slaughter an enemy and make a profit off his corpse. But the Dragon sees an opportunity to navigate Loom with the best person to get him where he wants to go. He offers her the one thing Ari can’t refuse: A wish of her greatest desire, if she brings him to the Alchemists of Loom.

***Disclaimer: there may be spoilers

When I found this during one of my hours long book searches on Amazon (now that’s what I call fun), I instantly fell in love with the cover and the premise. I automatically ordered a copy but then set it aside for months cuz I just wanted to wait til I was ready to be blown away. And omg I was not disappointed. This book gave me everything I wanted it to give and it is now one of my most favorite books.

I guess I’ll start with the world building cuz I feel like that’s one of the most important aspects of a fantasy. Kova totally delivered on this. This world was fully formed and both familiar and original. The three races, the Fenthri, Dragons, and Chimera, are the focus and seem to be the only ones in this world so far. The Fenthri are gray skinned, stocky, and know about machines, science, and weapons. The Dragons are humanoid not lizard-like, have a rainbow range of different colored hair, eyes, and skin tones, magical, and can be pretty violent. Chimera are basically Fenthri that have been augmented with Dragon organs and body parts through surgical and alchemical means. This gives them the ability to use magic and be stronger than the average Fenthri. Fenthri culture seems to be inspired on more Western ideas and the Dragons a bit more Eastern.

There are quite a few new terms that you have to get the hang of while reading. Kova doesn’t just outright explain things but instead lets the reader figure things out through context. At first this can seem a bit confusing and daunting but you pick up on things fairly quickly.  Kova also has a handy appendix in the back of the book if you find yourself forgetting a term.

The Fenthri live down on Loom while the Dragons live up above the clouds on floating islands called Nova. Fenthri have five guilds that run their world and the Dragons have three houses that are ruled by the strongest of the three. The five guilds used to overlap a bit and would help each other so that the world of Loom ran smoothly. Then the Dragons came and due to their superior strength, magic, and betrayal, took over Loom. The guilds are now no longer able to work together like they used to and the Fenthri are now basically forced to do the Dragons’ bidding.

Characters were great and my favorite part of the book. Our main heroine, Arianna, is a fricking bad ass! Working outside the law under her moniker ‘The White Wraith,’ Ari does what she can to make trouble for, and resist, the Dragons. Ari can hold her own in a fight against Fenthri and Dragons and she knows it. She has her own signature style of fighting that I just found super cool and it helped us understand how the magic in this world works. She’s sarcastic, intelligent, has a quick temper, and is fiercely loyal to those she cares about. Her past is a bit of an enigma and while we do learn more about her as the book goes along, we definitely aren’t told everything and are left to wait for the sequel (which I can totally live with. More books please!) Also, considering where the romance in this series is probably headed, I think I can safely conclude that Ari is bisexual! Yay! See authors? We do exist!

Cvareh is a good compliment to Ari. He is just as loyal and stubborn though in general his personality isn’t as biting as hers. He’s desperate to help his family and willing to do anything he has to so that he can achieve that goal. We don’t know a lot about his life on Nova, but that’s only because this book focused on his mission that took place on Loom. I imagine in the sequel we’ll learn a bit more about his family life and what it’s like to live on Nova. He can be quite sarcastic, especially when it comes to Ari and he’s a lot more emotionally open.

Florence is Ari’s student and friend and she’s absolutely adorable. The calmer of the three, she is often the peacemaker between Ari and Cvareh and she’s willing to see the good in everyone. Like our other two heroes, she’s incredibly loyal and will do anything she can for Ari. As much as her world revolves around Ari, Flor is very much her own person and will call Ari out on her bullshit when it’s necessary. She has a positive personality and he grows wonderfully as a character as the book goes on.

The characters are believable and heartfelt and Kova alternates chapters from different characters’ points of view so we get to know each main character pretty well. Sometimes I hate this cuz who wants to read from the pov of a character they hate? But I personally enjoyed all pov and the chapters are relatively short so you can get through an unlikeable pretty quickly.

Overall, I just loved this book. The writing was great, the plot action packed and heartfelt, and it left me very satisfied. And while the ending isn’t a cliff hanger (thank you Kova. Sometimes it feels like authors simply do that to make you read a sequel, not because it’s necessarily needed so it often just leaves me pissed), things are left unfinished so we know there’s a sequel. And I can’t wait to read it!

[catholiccom-blog]

Why God Can't Command Us to Do Evil

Theists and atheists wield many weapons in the battle over the truth of God’s existence. One such weapon for theists is the moral argument, which asserts moral obligation is impossible without God. But since moral obligation is real, so the argument goes, it follows God must exist.

When it seems to the theist he has conquered his foe, the atheist grabs his own weapon of choice and fires back. That weapon is what has come to be known as the Euthyphro dilemma, taken from Plato’s dialogue Euthyphro.

Philosopher Scott Sullivan, founder and president of Classical Theist productions, formulates the dilemma as follows:

Premise 1: Either an action is good because God commands it, or God commands an action because it’s already good.

Premise 2: If an action is good because God commands it, then God could arbitrarily command any evil act (like torturing babies), and that act would be good, which is absurd.

Premise 3: If God commands an action because it’s already good, then there is a standard of goodness independent of God, in which case God is not necessary for morality.

Conclusion: Since a theist can hold neither option, it follows a theist’s claim that God is necessary for morality is undermined.

This seems to be a “gotcha” moment for atheists. But all we have to do is take each premise and show it doesn’t lead to the absurdities to which it claims to lead and thus in turn show there is no dilemma.

How to know good and bad

First, let’s take premise three. A theist, at least of the classical sort, has no problem in affirming that God commands an action because it’s good. Now, my theist buddies might be thinking, “Why are you affirming the antecedent of premise three? Doesn’t it imply a standard of goodness independent of God?” No. Let me explain why it doesn’t.

In the natural moral law tradition as articulated by St. Thomas Aquinas and others, what is good and bad for human beings is determined by the various capacities and ends set for us by nature. So, for example, nature directs us to preserve our own lives. This is something we share with all living things. Nature also directs us to preserving our species through procreation and rearing of children—something we share with animals specifically. Finally, nature directs us to certain ends or goals that are peculiar to us as rational animals: namely, to know the truth about God, live in society, shun ignorance, and avoid harming those with whom one has to live.

The whole understanding of good and bad is based on these goods of human nature. Any behavior that facilitates the achievement of these natural ends is considered good��that is to say, it will fulfill human nature. Any behavior that frustrates the achievement of these natural ends is considered bad—that is to say, it won’t bring about human flourishing.

God commands because an act is good

Now, God commands all actions that facilitate the achievement of our natural ends; i.e., the good, and prohibits actions that frustrate them; i.e., the bad, because he wills our perfection. So, we can say God commands certain actions because they’re good.

But this doesn’t mean a standard of goodness exists independently of God. First of all, as a universal, human nature preexists in the divine intellect as an archetype by which God creates. As such, the ordering of human nature is an expression of God’s will—it is of his making. Therefore, the measure of goodness for man¬—i.e., human nature—is not independent of God.

Moreover, God is necessary for human nature to have an act of existence in human beings, both to come into existence and to remain in existence.

So, given the traditional understanding that human nature determines what is good and bad for man, and given the understanding that God is the author of that nature, affirming the idea that God commands something because it is good does not imply a standard of goodness independent of God; thus premise three is not a problem for theists.

Can God command evil?

This leads us to a question that has to do with premise two: “Can God command us to act contrary to our human nature—i.e., do what is evil?” If we can prove the answer is no, then premise two, like premise three, has no persuasive force against theists.

There are two reasons we can put forward for why God can’t will us to act contrary to human nature.

The all-wise God

First, if God were to command us to act contrary to our nature, then he would be violating his infinite wisdom. Why would God create us with a specific nature, and order that nature to certain ends, only to command us to frustrate those ends and thereby violate our nature? That would be unreasonable.

As I wrote in a previous blog, this would be analogous to someone installing an air conditioning system in his home and then turning the system off every time it turns on to cool the house. One might reasonably ask, “Why did you install the air conditioning system in the first place?”

Similarly, it would be unreasonable for God to create us with a nature ordered to certain ends and then command us to frustrate the achievement of those ends. But given the perfection of his intellect God can command only in accordance with reason. And since willing what is good for us is in accordance with reason, it follows God can’t command us to act contrary to our nature. He can only command good actions.

More specifically, God could never command us to torture babies for fun, because torturing babies for fun violates the goods of human nature, both our nature and the babies’ nature. As Brian Davies writes:

God could never command us to torture children because, in effect, that would involve him contradicting himself, or going against his nature as the source of creaturely goodness (The Reality of God and the Problem of Evil, 102).

The all-good God

A second reason why God can’t command evil is that if he were to do so, he would lack in goodness, which is metaphysically impossible, given the classical understanding of God as ipsum esse subsistens—subsistent being itself. According to the doctrine of the transcendentals (aspects of being—e.g., being, one, true, and good—that transcend Aristotle’s categories of being), being and goodness are convertible.

So to say God is subsistent being is the same as saying he is subsistent goodness. And if God is subsistent goodness, then there could be no privation of goodness in him. But to command us to act contrary to human nature, i.e., to do evil, would entail a privation of goodness. Since this is not possible, it’s incoherent to say God could command evil actions. That would be like saying the all-powerful God is too weak to lift a rock he created.

St. Thomas Aquinas takes this line of reasoning:

God is the highest good, as has been shown. But the highest good cannot bear any mingling with evil, as neither can the highest hot thing bear any mingling with the cold. The divine will, therefore, cannot be turned to evil (Summa Contra Gentiles, I:95).

Conclusion

I’ll admit that at first glance the Euthyphro dilemma seems to propose a major obstacle for theists advocating God is necessary for morality. But when a coherent explanation of what constitutes good and bad for human beings is given, and one understands God is the ultimate ground for that standard of good and bad, then the Euthyphro dilemma no longer has any force against a theistic account of morality.