#the idea has always been something ive liked when i think about what ren would do

[hehosts-moved]

ren becomes goro's face collector

[areyouafraid]

if i could give an example one thing ive been thinking about a lot recently was a few years ago when it was like a common talking point on mineblr whether or not villagers are antisemitic caricatures? and its like. obviously im not jewish ive never experienced antisemitism personally so im never going to completely disregard it because ultimately what do i really know and i think it is good to be mindful of how things can come off but. i really couldnt always help but feel like... what? 😭 and it's like again it's not really my place to speak + a lot of people who are either bigoted and / or hear something they dont want to hear about the piece of media they like will always try and downplay criticisms like this and i really dont want it to sound like thats where im coming from. fantasy as a whole has a huge racism & antisemitism problem that basically permeates throughout the entire genre. look at LOTR, TES and D&D. but its like here the argument was they have unibrows, big noses and are greedy. the first two is like. yeah, they do but whether or not that approaches the level of an antisemitic / racist caricature is contextual just like any fictional depiction of any real life feature that people have. and then the third thing is kinda just... there's nothing to suggest that? villagers dont really have any personalities in basegame. i think theres an argument to be made that they dont really do anything besides trading but they also arent really needed to do anything else and while i do think it would be cool giving them bigger personalities in basegame might go against the philosophy of it being a sandbox game and ruin the experience of the player being able to project their own original stories / traits onto them. i havent played them but from what i understand the sidegames do develop on the "canon" personalities of the villagers which. i dont know a lot about so i cant really say anything about them actually but generally seem to be generic "peaceful commoners". like i think i can see greed being extrapolated from shit trades but thats mostly because mojang hates us. or the only other thing that even kind of computes is theyre greedy because they use currency and have material goods which is bold but im willing to hear it out. the gamer subculture is as a whole infected with bigotry, it definitely used to be worse but its still frankly quite bad. i have definitely seen shitty comments abt villagers before and i have seen people characterizing villagers as greedy and unscrupulous because they have big noses and unibrows which is antisemitic and racist but from an objective standpoint i think i can say pretty confidently that theres not a lot of that in the source material

i will say that on a personal level it feels kinda weird to me because i do depict big noses and unibrows a lot in my art. i take a lot of inspiration from cartoons like spongebob, ren & stimpy and tgaobam with similar styles. its also a bit of a personal thing because i have a big nose and big eyebrows and i like those things about myself. i was insecure about them for a long time but now i think they r Cool and i think other people should think the same way and if anything thinking they are mildly funny is still way better than people thinking they are like hideously unattractive. (i will admit that cartoons tend to abuse unibrows in design but they are fun to draw.) one of the core tenets of cartooning is exaggeration and a lot of artists who have a similar design philosophy tend to depict the features theyre most insecure about in themselves, like zits, double chins or weird boobs and its the same idea. im still very careful with what i depict and i do my best to be socially conscious but at the same time its honestly incredibly annoying to see people jump to the worst possible interpretation of what to me feels like a very innocuous feature & i also dont see how it helps to fight the demonization of certain features to react with performative outrage when those features are depicted...? there was a lot of suggestion that villagers should instead have button noses and plucked eyebrows which like. why!!!!! why is that your answer!!!! why is that the most intelligent response that you can formulate!!!!

and again most of the people who were doing this in the moment were like white 14 year olds just discovering social justice who also werent jewish and had no real frame of reference for what they were talking about besides very basic debriefings on what antisemitism is. it really doesnt help anything that most of this websites userbase is white americans. there is a lot to criticize about minecraft which i will probably get to eventually but like that was so strange to me sorry for writing an essay

its good to be mindful of if something might look bad but still whenever i see someone on this site deliberately reaching to show they condemn the worst possible interpretation of something that is also clearly not what's going on it just kinda leaves me at a loss bc like what do you even say to that. its usually people who are pretty young tbf but its like come on man you cant be doing that

[luimnigh]

ive seen people talk abt winter defecting to team salem yet i cant quite see that happening, perhaps im wrong. what're your thoughts? do you think she might?

Oh, I absolutely believe Winter is going to defect to Team Salem. 

The thing is, Jacques was never going to be Weiss’ villain. For as much power as he has, he ultimately a) never posed a physical threat, which is kinda anathema to an action-oriented show like RWBY, and b) the power he held over Weiss was pretty damn easily broken. He did it himself in Volume 4. Once Weiss was disinherited, there was nothing holding her back from just leaving. 

So the question presented ended up being “Who is going to be Weiss’ villain?”

Weiss’ struggle has always been about her family. Her initial goal was to redeem her family’s name, and honestly I do still believe that’s something she wants to do. But just like she’s more than just a name, the name is more than just her, and bringing her family name back into the light involves bringing her family back into the light. 

So her struggle has effectively always been about bringing her family back together. So the villain in her story has to be someone standing in the way of that. 

Whitley is a kid with no combat training. Willow was basically an unknown until her first appearance.  

So, that leaves Winter. 

While everyone else in Weiss’ family has been distanced from her by Jacques’ abuse, Weiss and Winter have always been displayed as tight-knit. She’s Weiss’ mentor, the person who taught her to be a Huntress, the person who helped her escape. 

But Winter also works for the Atlesian Military, who have screamed “Eventual Bad Guys” since their introduction. She was strict, she was quick to anger, and she was loyal to General Ironwood. 

She was also a mentor figure in a show all about a new generation coming in and saving the world from the mistakes of the past. 

And to top it all, it would absolutely hurt Weiss more if Winter was her villain than anyone else. 

So the idea that Winter would be Weiss’ villain has been there for quite a while. The question then has been how she would go from beloved mentor to opposing force. A lot of ideas have been thrown against the wall in the intervening years, but now we’ve reached the point where the path forward looks obvious:

Winter is currently compromised to hell and back. Both physically and emotionally. She is absolutely conflicted about what she’s doing: she can see Ironwood is going off the deep end, but she still trusts him, still loves him as her surrogate father; her destiny has been pulled out from under her; the Kingdom she is sworn to protect is under attack; she has been asked to kill a friend, arrest her sister, be party to the violation of her best friend’s bodily autonomy, and go on a suicide mission all on the same day; and now she’s effectively let enemies of the state escape her custody twice. 

But she has been taught to suppress her emotions, to suppress her doubts, to never question authority. To follow orders. 

Everyone is reading the foreshadowing right: she is absolutely uncomfortable with what Ironwood is asking her to do. She is absolutely at her breaking point.

But she’s not heading towards Weiss. 

Weiss is always going to be the person that gets Winter to defect. To leave Atlas behind and come be a family. Because Winter’s joining the heroes is as much a part of Weiss’ arc as it is Winter’s. 

But she’s not heading towards Weiss. 

When Ren looks at them with his empath-vision, Ren sees that both Marrow and Winter are uncomfortable with their situation, that they don’t want to be there anymore. But while Marrow’s emotions are certain, one colour, moving in one direction; Winter’s are all over the place, multiple colours, moving in every direction. Marrow is sure of what he wants, but Winter isn’t. 

But she’s not heading towards Weiss. 

Winter, right now, is at her most malleable. Her most susceptible. Her most vulnerable. She is at a tipping point, and a push could send her in any direction right now. If Ironwood knew what he was doing, he could do something that would secure her loyalty, just like Salem did to Cinder. Similarly, if Weiss were here, this would be the easiest time to convince her to come home, to be a family again. 

But she’s not heading towards Weiss. 

She’s heading towards Salem. The master manipulator. Who knows exactly how to break a person and get them on-side. Who has lived through very similar circumstances to Winter: an abusive father, a heroic rescuer, their paths diverging, and losing faith in that rescuer. 

Anyone in Winter’s situation would be ripe for manipulation by Salem. The way to not be manipulated is to be surrounded by people who love and care for you, who are willing and able to talk you down from the ideas Salem would put in your head. But Winter is isolated, surrounded by people she doesn’t fully trust, with the two people she loves the most, who’d have the best chance of stopping any manipulation, currently stuck in Schnee Manor. 

So I fully expect Salem to turn her. I fully expect Winter Schnee to be an antagonist going forward, and for this to utterly break Weiss’ heart. And I fully expect Weiss to never give up on her sister, and eventually convince her to step back into the light. 

[neon-junkie]

Queen of Amber - Chpt.1

Summary: You're soon to complete your training, finally earning yourself the title of Knight of Ren. Your Master, Kylo himself, relocates you to StarKiller Base to train by his side, but you become distracted at the sight of your Masters enemy, the bases General.

Pairing: General Hux x f!Reader

Word Count: 1641

Rating: SFW

Tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Forbidden Love, Knights of Ren, Starkiller Base.

Notes: ugh I just LOVE the idea of being a knight of ren that ends up fancying hux and having to hide it from kylo. ive had this fic idea for... years..? and now im finally writing it >:)

The depths of space can feel so cold and empty, a vast plain of darkness, the light from the stars barely bright enough to draw away that feeling of nothingness. In some ways, it is peaceful, having a void so large and empty, but that feeling can be often be interpreted as deeper emotions: loneliness, numbness, isolation, etc. Those feelings are regular to you, or were, up until you found your calling in the galaxy and followed it through. Either you were in the right place at the right time, or you were bound to be discovered sooner or later. That's what you told yourself when it first happened, all those years ago. Some might call you a Sith, an out-dated term but one that still fits, like your favourite pair of well-worn boots. The term molds comfortably around you, engulfing you in the power that short word has; you've seen the way people shiver at the word alone, so think how they'd react when they finally meet one?

However, Sith wasn't the right term for you, and your Master, Kylo Ren, had told you this many times before. You were a Knight, or you're going to be, once your training is complete. Snoke had heard your calling through the force many years ago, ordering Kylo to find you and bring you back to him; you were a child back then, your planet stuck in the middle of a war, your parents had vanished amongst the smoke and you'd been pulled to safety by Kylo himself. At first, you were reluctant; you were scared and alone, isolated, mourning the loss of your family and home, just like the stars. But Snoke and Master Ren had been so kind to you, despite not being able to see Rens facial expressions, and despite Snoke being nothing more than a hologram. You'd discovered his real form very few times, usually trailing in the background whenever Master Ren was called to meet him face to face, and you knew that it would one day be you speaking directly to Snoke, when your time is ready. But for now, you find yourself on board a ship, finally docking on StarKiller Base. You've heard about this base for years, though you've never been on it, always occupied with your own tasks and training. Master Ren had recently been ordered to move here, which essentially meant packing his favourite cloaks and trusty light saber; he was one of the top dogs, being forced to share the base with a General that you're yet to meet. Master Ren has vented to many times before about said General. Yes, you two got along well, thought your status still stands as Master and Knight, or 'knight in training', as Master Ren always called you. His other Knights wouldn't bother with the longer name, simply calling you their Knight, or Sister on the occasion that they were being welcoming; they're a polite bunch, ruthless and bloodthirsty, but still your family. You haven't seen them in some time, busy with their own missions, just as you are busy with yours. You let out a deep sigh through the drone of your helmet as you stand, watching the ships hatch be lowered, welcoming you onto the foreign base. As always, your Troopers exit first, followed by their Commander, and then yourself. Master Ren is waiting for you, stood with his arms by his side, fists clenched, eyes clearly watching you despite his face being covered. You've seen him without his helmet a few times but only in recent years; he never took it off when you were young, probably not wanting to show how young he was too, only a few years older than you but his skills and strength said otherwise. You approach your Master, your cloak dancing behind you as you walk, your attire as dark and edgy as your Masters; he'd picked out your original outfit, through you'd changed a few elements of it throughout the years, adding your own flair to it the more yourself and your abilities grew. You know by now that you're close to completing your training, and you personally think you should have completed it long ago, but your Master continues to cling onto you, telling Snoke over and over that you're not ready, despite his words and pleads. Maybe Master Ren has something in store for you? "Master Ren," you greet him, your head nodding softly as he repeats the gesture. "How was your trip?" he questions. "The usual," you reply. "Boring? Master Ren suggests. "Mhmm," you hum in agreement. Master Ren begins to walk, his head slowly turning away from yours before looking forward, his usual body language for when he wants you to follow. "I'll be giving you a tour of the base later this evening, we have a meeting to attend to first, another petty one where the Commanders scream at each other because they're not progressing fast enough." "I thought you ruled this base with an iron fist?" you prod. Master Ren looks at you briefly as he walks, and you overhear the exhale he lets out, a soft laugh. "The General does, apparently, despite them being behind schedule for almost a week now. I plan on stepping in soon if he continues to fail our progress," Master Ren replies. "I'm surprised you haven't stepped in already." "Snoke has ordered me to keep out of it..." Master Ren admits, and you don't doubt that Snoke has had to lecture him again about his... temper tantrums. Master Ren continues to lead you down an array of corridors, the workers practically leaping out of the way; you can sense the fear on them, trembling at the sight of your Master, and even more so at you. The sight of Master Ren alone is enough to make anybody fear for their life, but two Knights? You're surprised nobody has dropped dead in fright, as entertaining as that would be. The room is already full of Commanders by the time you arrive; they're quick to stand, welcoming Master Ren as he enters, their eyes watching as Master Ren takes his usual place at one end of the table. Master Ren doesn't bother sitting, he never does, he claims it's not intimidating for a Knight to be sat down amongst 'commoners', but you'd enjoy being able to rest your legs for a few minutes. You stand diagonally behind him, sensing the fear in the workers, noticing the way they try their best not to stare. "Sit," is all Master Ren has to say. You watch the Commanders go to take their seats, only to jump up seconds later as a stranger enters the room. Master Ren instantly turns to look at you. 'That's him,' he tells you through the force before turning his head back around and facing forward. You know exactly who your Master is on about, the man that's caused him so much hassle during the years that they've been 'working together.' It seems the General has spent most of his life on his base, and you're surprised you've only just met him now. He's a little shorter than your Master, his fiery hair slicked back and glued into place, with perfectly shaped side burns and not a single piece of stubble on his structured face. He doesn't look very intimidating, not a man you'd expect people to fear, nor follow, but you're eager to see what layers there are to his persona. He's already glaring at your Master as he goes to take his seat, pulling out the chair but then suddenly stopping. His eyes trail over to you and his brows are quick to furrow, almost looking at you in disgust. "Not another one," The General speaks, and you can sense the frustration radiating off him. "That's not a polite way to greet one of your Commanders," Master Ren replies... Wait, Commander? It seems the General has the same question on the tip of his tongue. "Commander?" is all he asks. "Commander," Master Ren nods in agreement. "Has Snoke not given you the memo? My Knight here is to complete her training whilst on StarKiller Base. She has the role of Commander until her training is complete, then she will take the Knight status and join my ranks." "One of you is enough work as it is. I don't need two-" The General's sentence is cut off, his mouth is hanging open and his throat beginning to twitch. You know what your Master is doing, and you look down to see his hand in an arched positioned, as if he's choking the General. "Master," you butt-in. He chokes him for a few seconds more before relaxing his hand; Master Ren doesn't turn any of his attention to you, ignoring the Generals gulps for air as he finally sits down at his place on the table. "Shall we begin?" Master Ren suggests. The meeting goes on just as you'd expect - boring and heated, fingers being pointed and accusations flying across the room. Your Master had barely spoken during it, but you knew he was smiling under his mask at the chaos, watching the General bark at everyone, his face turning as red as his hair as he manged to pull his Commanders back into line. You didn't speak a word, you had no need to, and you didn't say much as Master Ren showed you around a few important parts of the base. Your tour then ended at your quarters, just down the hallway from your Masters. He had said his goodbye before leaving you to it, letting you finally unmask in the isolation of your new room. You spent the night unpacking, trying to find some form of comfort in your new home. Hopefully, this base will soon feel like a home..

[witch-of-ren]

hi!! I saw your post titled "Hades' library" and was wondering if you've read anymore books with him since then? im a huge book reader and a Hades devotee that's trying to get back onto better devotionals for him since ive been struggling, so I thought I'd share that w him :) is the night circus good? id love more recs, im more into fiction books but anything u got I can try!! tysm

Hi! 

I have not read anymore books with him, or even finished Night Circus. I’ve been struggling to really get into books recently and reading has seemed like a chore rather than something fun for me recently. BUT that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a ton of books to recommend. I got carried away, so they’re under the cut. :P

The Night Circus, for one. It’s very good! Erin Morgenstern is one of my favorite authors and that book is beautifully done. It has magic, mystery, romance...pretty much everything you could ask for. Including POC cast (Tsukiko being one of my favorites) and LGBT characters. “The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not.”

Next up...The Starless Sea. Another Erin Morgenstern book. I daresay this was better than The Night Circus. Again, POC cast and LGBT. The main romance is LGBT and done very well. Mystery, magic, witchcraft...it’s got a wonderful plot. I read it all in two days, the majority in one sitting and it felt like coming out of a deep sleep when I was done. One of the tattoos I plan to get is going to be related to that book.  “Strange, isn’t it? To love a book. When the words on the pages become so precious that they feel like part of your own history because they are. It’s nice to finally have someone read stories I know so intimately.”

It’s been awhile since I’ve read it, but Even the Darkest Stars (Heather Fawcett) was a good one. It has a sequel now and I keep meaning to read it. Another fantasy one. Magic, witches, demons, adventures. This is similar to the Grishaverse (Shadow and Bone series/Six of Crows) with its setting and some of the magic, but there’s some solid differences. The ending made me mad but I think it sets up the sequel well.  “I wanted to push against the world and feel it push back.”

The Deep by Rivers Solomon is a short novel, perhaps one would call it a novella. It’s POC centered and it has an intense storyline. LGBT if I remember, too. Gorgeous story about mermaids who descended from African people thrown overboard on slave ships as they came to America.  “What does it mean to be born of the dead? What does it mean to begin?”

While we’re talking about mermaids, here’s my plug for the Waterfire Saga (starting with Deep Blue). It’s actually really good and I adored reading it. I think I read through the whole series in one sitting while I was sick once. “One is not born knowing how to lead, one learns.”

These next few are going to be more in the realistic fiction, young adult fiction genre but there’s a reason for each. A piece of what, personally, working with Hades is supposed to mean and what he can represent in a relationship.

My Fairy Godmother is A Drag Queen (David Clawson). It’s a new take on an old fairytale in a modern age, but the message underlying is to be yourself and be that unapologetically. And that money and fame don’t buy happiness. It’s a humorous book and I really need to read it again. “I just felt like . . . me. And whatever “me” meant, that was perfectly fine and absolutely enough. Everyone should feel that kind of peace and self-acceptance far more often than I think most of us do.”

Starfish by Akemi Dawn Bowman (I’d say any of her books besides Infinity Courts, since that’s a different genre, but there’s two I’d like to talk about in particular). This book features POC cast. I believe Kiko, the protag, is half Japanese and half white? The message here is similar to the one above, but it deals more with breaking away from the trauma added on to expectations or an external force. I saw a lot of my relationship with my step-grandmother in this story and I sent a copy to my cousin. We both learned and grew and healed from this story and the lesson taught.  “I want to find self-worth without needing it to come from someone's approval.”

Summer Bird Blue (Akemi Dawn Bowman). This one is a lot heavier, topic wise. And actually, it’s really fitting for me at the moment. The main character loses her sister and has to figure out life without her. She goes through a period where she loses touch with her music, one of the most important things to her. It’s written partly in Pidgin (a mix of English and Hawaiian) so good luck, but it’s a beautiful story of healing and recovering from losing your other half. “Grief is a monster - not everyone gets out alive, and those who do might only survive in pieces. But it's a monster that can be conquered, with time.”

Broken Things (Lauren Oliver) Murder mystery! Uncovering the truth and laying an old friend to rest. But with drama and healing. It’s told really well and the ending caught me so off guard. I usually can’t read murder mysteries because I always guess the ending and am disappointed when I’m right. Couldn’t have guessed this one.  “That’s the thing about hearts. They don’t get put back together, not really. They just get patched. But the damage is still there.”

Finally...They Both Die at The End (Adam Silvera). Coming to terms with the inevitable end of life. This book follows to characters who know they’re going to die. LGBT romance in here as well. It’s a wild ride of a book and well, the title is completely true. There’s dealing with guilt, regret, anxiety, and other feelings that someone on their deathbed would usually have.  “Maybe it's better to have gotten it right and been happy for one day instead of living a lifetime of wrongs.”

I hope that gives you some ideas! Some of these deal with really heavy topics, so please look into that just to be sure so you’re not caught off guard. 

- Ren

[nanasarea]

Mermade I

Prompt: When Renjun and his friends decide to go to Seirina Island, he accidentally meets you, a literal fish out of water

Genre: mostly fluff

Pairing: mermaid!reader x renjun

Word count: 707

Tag list: @moloprint​

a/n: this is more of a intro than a chapter, but I hope ya’ll enjoy it nonetheless! I’ll get started on part 2, so i might upload that in the next few days. Also, you should know I don’t proofread at this point. Also ty to siren anon for giving me the motivation I needed to finish this today haha. 

main m.list / mermade m.list

i  ii  iii iv  v    vi  vii  viii  ix  x(finale)

“You’re on thin ice.” Renjun warned after Haechan continued to try and prove his point in the argument the two were having “No, I’m standing on the floor.” Haechan sassed “It’s an expression.” “It’s a carpet.”. Before Renjun could react, Jeno interrupted with a “Guys, focus, are you in?”. “Count me out, I was planning on playing games.” Haechan said “You do that like everyday, come on, let’s go on an adventure!” Jaemin tried to persuade. “Besides, we can take my uncle’s boat and we’ll be back before sundown.” He added.

And with that, the 4 guys planned their visit to Seirina Island. It was a small island a 20 minute boat ride away, it was a popular camping destination, but with the decrease of the popularity of camping in recent years, no one really visited. It was also rumored to be home to a clan of witches, but everyone assumed it was just a myth their parents told them so they wouldn’t go off wondering the forests of the island. 

Renjun had only been there once when he was really young, he went camping with his parents and a friend he brought along, but never went again, due to the “annoying sound of the mosquitoes, flies and alike everywhere”. He also vows that he heard a voice singing in the middle of the night, but his mother assured him it was just his imagination. He always believed there was something off about that island, he just didn’t know what. Yet.

Sure, going to a creepy abandoned forest where you swore you heard a possible ghost might not be the best idea, but when your friends and roommates all decide to go, you kinda wanna go too. Jaemin decided to stay at his families house, where his uncle kept his boat, that night. His place was closer to the sea, so they decided it would be best to start their journey from there. 

The boys all met at Jaemin’s house, where they were greeted by his mother, who told them that Jaemin was still asleep, despite his alarm going for for the 5th time that day. Them, not having any of his bullshit, woke him up by Jeno pouring cold water on him while Renjun and Haechan screamed into his ears, on each side of his bed and dragged him to the boat, where they checked if they had packed everything needed. 

After a 20 minute ride with Jeno as the “captain”, who kept checking if the boat was taking them where they wanted, Jaemin taking a nap and almost being thrown overboard by Haechan and Renjun fighting Haechan on yet another stupid argument the two were having, they finally arrived at the island. They made their way into the forest and started exploring, right after Jaemin sprayed each one of them with mosquito repellent. 

“Don’t do it.” Haechan warned “I’m not gonna do it, I’m just thinking about it.” Renjun laughed at his friend before looking at the other side of the river. “Renjun, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Hyuck has a point.” Jeno said, causing Haechan to fake laugh before lightly hitting Jeno and Renjun to announce “You know what, I’m gonna do it.” before trying to jump across, but the slippery rock he was standing on ruined his plan.

He slid down a hidden hole in the ground, causing Jeno and Haechan to laugh and Jaemin run towards the spot where Renjun was “eaten up by the earth” in Haechan’s words. “Ren?! Are you okay?!” Jaemin yelled “I’m fine, I think.” Renjun yelled back, dusting off the sand from his clothes and looked around to see what appeared to be a hidden cave.

The rocky walls were painted by the blue reflection from the pool at the corner of the cave, the water looked like it led straight to the ocean, but he didn’t know how long it would take him to get out by swimming. He searched the cave a little more before he found you. Normally, he would be shocked and maybe scared at seeing a random confused human in the corner of the cave, but he couldn’t help but think you were the most beautiful being he’s ever seen. 

[summahsunlight]

Perhaps It’s Fate, Part 12

Rating: T, to be safe

Word Count: 1587

Summary: After joining the Resistance as a mechanic, you were happy to keep to yourself, until a little orange and white bb unit and his master wander into your workshop one day.

Pairings: Poe Dameron/Reader

Warnings: Angst, a lot of it

Taglist: @ms-dont-care, @starless-eyes-remain, @elmoakepoke, @marvelobsessiononastick, @kiaralein, @softly-sad, @totelpoedameron, @ordinarymom1​, @sevvysaurus​

Taglist is still open! Let me know if you want to be added❤️ Thanks for all your support. I’m so happy that you are enjoying this story😘

Poe didn’t remember much prior to the crash--just that he was thrown from the TIE-fighter and woke up, at night, in the desert. Dehydrated, hungry--his only thoughts were of finding a way off this planet. He wasn’t sure if the First Order had found BB-8, or that the Resistance even knew that the map was with his droid, He was pretty sure they thought he was dead.  If he stayed out in the desert another day he would be dead. 

No idea of where he was exactly, Poe just started walking.  There was no sign of the fighter--he wondered if poor Finn had survived. Poe had told the stormtrooper to eject before the TIE had crashed.  He hoped Finn survived, after all, he was trying to help, trying to get away from the life of killing the First Order had bred him for. They hadn’t even bothered to give him a name--just a number--striping the man of any kind of identity.  Poe had refused to call him in that in the short time they’d known each other--hence why he had given the trooper the name Finn.

His thoughts were always preoccupied by you, even when a Blarina scavenger found him.  Poe just wanted to get back to D’Qar, to you, to keep his promise to you that he was going to come home. He knew that the Blarina didn’t trust him, it wasn’t until Poe had shoved him out of the way to take over driving the speeder, effectively saving their skins that the Blarina agreed to help him.

Great, Poe thought. Just get me out of here. Just get me home to Yavin IV where I can pick my fighter up and go back to the Resistance.

He didn’t remember much after that--not until he woke up and his father was staring at him, concerned.  “You told me not to worry,” Kes scolded his son, “but look at you--kriff Poe! What the hell did they do to you?”

“Everything they could to get me to talk,” Poe murmured.

“Clearly you didn’t talk,” Kes said with a shake of his head.

“No. They sent Kylo Ren in to rip it from my mind.”

Kes shuddered at this and then he enveloped his son into his arms, feeling Poe stiffen at first, but then melt into his father’s embrace. Kes held his son tightly, thankful that he was alive, thankful that he had the chance to hold him, but also terrified at what his son had endured--what his son would still endure.

Poe didn’t care how old his was--his dad hugging him would always bring him comfort. If only he could stay here and not have to return to D’Qar--but the fight was just beginning.  “Dad. I need to get in touch with the Resistance.”

“Hmm... the girl you told me about?”

“What...no... well... yes... I mean... she has to be worried.”

“Don’t worry, son,” Kes said with a chuckle.  “We’ll get in touch with them.”

“I was so stupid, Dad,” Poe lamented, thinking of you, “I promised her that I was going to come back.”

He looked at his son; Kes could see the guilt in Poe’s eyes. He shook his head and sighed, heavily, “Well, you didn’t break your promise... you will be going back to her.”

Blinking some tears away, Poe moved away from his father. “But right now she thinks I’m dead.  Her family was murdered by the First Order... she has panic attacks over it... I’ve put her through hell, Dad!”

Kes rested his hand on Poe’s shoulder. “I think she’ll understand; I hardly doubt she’ll be angry at you.”

Poe swiped his hand over his face. “You’re... you’re probably right, Dad. I’m just... I’m tired...”

“And hungry I bet.”

“Yeah, that too.”

“Come on,” Kes said, pulling Poe towards the kitchen, “let’s have something to eat, get you cleaned up a bit and then we can contact the Resistance.”

Following his father’s lead, Poe went with Kes.  He was hungry, and thirsty, and tired--but he was also wrought with worry.  BB-8 was missing, you thought he was dead--the Resistance had no idea where he was and that he was alive--there was a good chance that they had no idea he had put the map in his droid.  For all Poe knew, BB-8 could be dismantled at the hands of the First Order by now.

And Finn--Poe continued to wonder what had happened to the man who helped him escape, who gave him the chance to live. He wondered if Finn had found the holo of you in the pocket of his jacket, the one that Poe carried with him on every mission. 

His heart clenched thinking about you--how you must have felt so alone in the galaxy. Poe had never wanted to hurt you, he wanted to protect you and keep you safe.  He didn’t want you to feel anymore pain. 

“Poe--eat,” Kes scolded him, snapping him back to reality. 

Food had been placed before him and Poe realized he had just been staring at it. “Thanks, Dad,” he mumbled before gingerly picking through the food. 

Kes kept a watchful eye over his son.  When the Blarina had showed up with Poe, he’d been shocked to see how battered his son was.  After giving him water, and helping him lay down, Poe had slept for nearly eight hours. In that time Kes had reached out to Leia to let her know that Poe was safe--but if he told his son that now, Poe would jump in that damn x-wing and fly back to base. 

Finishing up his food, Poe stood. “I'm gonna go send a message to the Resistance, let them know I’m okay and I’ll be on my way back soon.”

“I already spoke to Leia.”

“You did? When?”

“While you were sleeping.”

“Why did you wait to tell me?”

Looking at his son, incredulously, Kes sighed. “Because I knew you’d be back in that x-wing before getting rest, before eating--Poe you have to take care of yourself. You’re no good to the Resistance half dead.”

Even though he knew his father was right, Poe knew that he had to get back to the Resistance-- he had to get back to you--as quickly as possible.

Hiding away in your shop had become your routine since Poe’s death. It was the only you could cope--besides going to sit in your spot by the lake.  Tinkering with parts and fixing things had always calmed you as a child when you were upset, it had calmed you and given you a purpose after your parents were killed.  However, you were finding that it was not calming you now. 

It just reminded you of the afternoons you’d spent in here with Poe, just talking, and you missed him twice as much as before.

“Y/N?”

“General!”

Jumping to your feet, you turned to face Leia, wiping the freshly fallen tears off your cheeks. “Can I...do you need help with something, ma’am?”

Leia smiled at you softly and shook her head. “No. Captain Wexley and Captain Kun expressed their concern for you.  They haven't seen you in the mess for a few days or out on the tarmac. In fact, no one has seen much of you in the last few days.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks. You shouldn’t have been so naive to think that your friends were going to leave you alone during this time. “It’s just...easier... to be in here.”

“And not have to face anyone.”

“Yes.”

Quietly the general sighed. “We received further intel from Jakku; BB-8 was in the possession of a young man and young girl, they escaped the planet from the First Order. Not sure where to yet.”

Some relief settled into your chest. BB-8 was safe; if he made it back to the Resistance you wondered if the general would let him be your droid.

Leia smiled at you, picking up your thoughts. “I’m sure Poe would be honored if you took care of BeeBee for him--but I don’t think that is going to be necessary. You see, not only did we receive the intel that BB-8 escaped, we received intel that Poe escaped as well.”

“He... he did?” you sputtered, your heart clenching with hope.

“Stole a TIE-fighter,” Leia replied with whimsical smile. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Where...where is he? Why hasn’t he tried to contact us?”

“I suspect he was waiting until he got off Jakku.”

“That...that makes sense. Wait, you said...was. Have you heard from Poe?”

“Not from Poe--but his father.”

You recalled that Poe was going to change ships on Yavin IV, leaving his x-wing with his father while he traveled to Jakku. “Poe made it back to Yavin.”

Leia nodded. “Yes, he managed to get a ride with a trader from Jakku that brought him to Yavin.  Y/N, he didn’t escape unscathed. The First Order tortured him to get the location of the map.”

It felt like someone had reached inside of you and was squeezing your heart. Poe--your sweet, brave Poe--subjected to torture.  You knew all too well what torture at the hands of the First Order looked like; you knew the horrors that Poe had faced.  It broke your heart. 

Gently, Leia took your hand and gave it a squeeze. “Poe is lucky to have you,” she said, “he’s going to need you... now more than ever.”

[sithsecrets]

A Matter of Expediency - Part IV

After being married off to Kylo Ren in the name of securing an heir to the First Order’s throne, a princess tries to navigate the ins and outs of married life. As she grows closer to her new husband, the princess also carves out a place for herself in the Order, assuming control over her life when she thought she would have none.

---

Part 4

2.6K words

Mentions: verbal arguing, physical fighting, swearing, vulgar insults

---

For the second time in a week, you find yourself surrounded by your ladies as you soak in the bathtub. It’s eerily quiet now, quieter than it was when all of you first did this.

Sabe’s bathing you again, more out of nervous need to do something than anything, you think, but everyone else sits in silence. You let her clean you, unsure of where you should start with all of this. You feel like your conversation with the Supreme Leader occurred days ago, yet he’s only been gone for less than an hour.

“Your ring is ridiculously big,” Sabe tells you, teasing in a rather subdued way as she run soap over your left hand.

“You’re just jealous that no man’s every given you a piece of space itself,” Joon counters, sticking her tongue out at Sabe when Sabe shoots daggers her way.

Joon’s smart remark cuts the tension, but Helda’s innocent little giggle breaks it entirely. You finally crack a smile, eternally grateful that all of your friends love to poke fun at one another.

“It’s not a piece of space,” you say, looking down at the prettiness of your ring. “It’s a gemstone. Not even the First Order is capable of capturing the stars.”

Sabe rolls her eyes, but she’s grinning as she does it. “One man buys her a piece of jewelry and now she fancies herself a poet.”

Lydia snorts at that, recoiling when you splash her with a bit of water for it.

“I love my ring,” you declare evenly, sinking down further into the water. Sabe pinches your side, grinning mischievously.

“Yes, but do you love Kylo Ren?” she teases. You splash her too, managing to douse the front of her dress fairly well.

Helda laughs at that, and you have to grab Sabe’s arm to stop her from attacking the girl with a splash of her own.

“I think that’s enough,” Lydia says, moving behind you to wet and wash your hair. Her touch is relaxing, and you let your eyes slip closed as she massages your scalp.

“What did the two of your talk about, besides your little piece of the galaxy?” It’s as close as Lydia will come to a jest, but you know that she’s far more concerned about the Supreme Leader’s treatment of you.

“Where he got the rings from, the wedding,” you answer, casual even as you remember how you nearly stormed out of the room when Kylo insinuated that he wasn’t excited for the ceremony.

“That’s all?” Lydia asks, still working the shampoo through your hair.

You hesitate at that, considering the implications of being honest for a moment.

“He offered me an out,” you admit quietly.

Lydia’s fingers still in your hair, suds slipping down her wrists and onto your shoulders. Sabe and Joon are slack-jawed, simply staring at you, and Helda twists her hands nervously in her skirt at the sight of everyone’s disbelief.

“What do you mean?” Lydia asks, seemingly the only one able to speak. You refuse to look at her or at anyone else, for that matter.

“He said he wouldn’t marry me if I didn’t want to be his wife,” you explain, biting your lip.

“Then why do you still have that ring on?” Sabe asks, and there’s an edge to her voice that makes the back of your neck prickle.

“Sabe-“ Joon begins, already sensing a problem. Joon’s always been good at that, cluing in on people’s emotions before they have chance to spike.

“No, Joon, shut up,” Sabe barks, jumping to her feet. She’s furious, eyes ablaze, hands balled up tight by her sides. “You aren’t seriously going to marry him now, are you?”

Lydia begins rinsing the soap from your hair, making quick work of the task. All you can do is stare up at Sabe, wide-eyed as your mouth moves of its own accord. No words come out, only short, aborted sounds that make you sound like a fool.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Sabe spits, shaking her head as if she’s disgusted by the mere site of you.

Lydia’s done with your hair now, urging you out of the bathtub. “What is that supposed to mean?” you counter, deeply offended by Sabe’s demeanor. Helda’s by your side now with a towel and your robe, already trying to dry you and get you dressed.

“Your uncle practically sells you off to the galaxy’s biggest tyrant, and you mope around and act like you’ve been sentenced to death. Fine, I can understand that!” Sabe exclaims, throwing her arms up in exasperation. “But then the Supreme Leader himself gives you an opportunity to call the whole thing off, and you don’t take it? What the fuck is that?”

Everyone’s trying to talk now, you and Joon and Lydia all cutting in at the same time. Only Helda remains silent, standing off to the side and watching on anxiously, still twisting and twisting her fists in the fabric of her skirts.

“Sabe, you need to calm-“ Joon tries to say.

“I cannot believe-“ Lydia hisses, cut off by you.

“It’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be,” you tell Sabe. A feeling of anxiety clamps down on your chest, and you feel so cold in the warmth of the room.

Your statement incenses Sabe. “What makes it so complicated then, Princess? Hm? Because it seems simple to me.” She jabs her finger at you, almost accusatorily. “You were fucking terrified to marry Kylo Ren, but now you’re not, and all after one conversation with the man! Why is that?”

A wave of anger washes over you at that, it makes you shiver in your robe. “The Supreme Leader thinks I can help the Order,” you hiss, taking a step towards your friend. “He wants me to help him rule.”

“He said that?” Joon interjects, brows raised. You nod, at her, whipping your head around quickly.

Sabe’s scoff feels like a punch in the gut. “Why?” she asks, not looking for an actual answer. “Your uncle has you make appearances for diplomatic reasons and that’s about it. You’ve never led negotiations or organized a benefit. You’ve never commanded an army or drafted a peace treaty. You’ve never done anything.”

You don’t recognize the Sabe that stands before you now. You knew nothing of the cruel streak that she’s displaying, had no idea that she could behave this way. And what’s worse, she’s absolutely right— you’ve never done anything but sit beside your uncle and look pretty while everyone around you handled the real problems. Past your beauty and your womb, what do you have to offer your fiancé?

“Kylo thinks I’m a good fit,” you insist, but even you don’t believe what you’re saying now. Tears slip down your face as you cast your eyes towards the floor, ashamed of yourself for so many reasons in this moment.

Sabe laughs a cruel laugh right in your face. “Yes, a good fit for taking his cock—”

Lydia strikes Sabe across the cheek, and the sound of it is almost deafening. Helda and Joon visibly flinch, but you’re too shocked to move a muscle. One minute, Lydia was standing off to the side behind you, but now she in front of you, in between you and Sabe.

Lydia must be stronger than any of you knew, because the force of her slap throws Sabe into the countertop at her side. Sabe looks terrified, bracing herself against the marble. She goes to say something, possibly to apologize, but Lydia is in no mood to hear her talk anymore.

“You insolent, disrespectful, disgusting child,” Lydia hisses. Her eyes are bright with rage, and she stalks towards Sabe like an animal going in for the kill. “How dare you speak to your mistress that way? Were you dropped on your head, or are you really that stupid?”

“Lydia, I—”

“Shut the fuck up, Sabe,” Lydia spits. “I am so tired of your mouth. You have said quite enough! I cannot believe that you would talk to your friend this way. The Princess has loved you, and cared for you, and put up with every little thing that you do. And how do you repay her? By calling her a useless cocksleeve? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Despite Lydia’s rage, Sabe is still willing to challenge her. “I just can’t believe that she’s going to leave her home planet to marry that man!” She cuts her eyes to you, angry again, but your own rage burns underneath your skin like fire.

“There’s nothing for me here!” you scream. The fury in your voice is powerful enough to wipe the look off of Sabe’s face, and Helda retreats into the corner of the room.

“What do you mean?” Joon ask softly, concern laced into the nervous expression on her face.

“Well!” you exclaim, gesturing all about you. “What is there for me to look forward to? I have no power, no responsibilities of my own. My uncle doesn’t love me, that much is clear now. My cousins have never been nice to me, I don’t see that ever changing. I have no lover and no potential suitors, if you don’t count the Supreme Leader. I… I’m nothing here,” you say pitifully, losing stream now. You choke out a sob, unable to stop yourself, and Lydia lays her hand on your arm.

“I just…” you whisper, chin trembling. “I just want to be somebody, and I can’t do that on this planet.”

“Princess,” Joon breathes, coming to hug you. Lydia rubs your back, and even Helda cautions a comforting comment.

“You’re someone to us already,” she says, and you could burst into tears at the mere sound of her sweet little voice. You look at Sabe, thinking surely that her attitude has changed after your speech. But when you meet her eyes, there is nothing but contempt swimming in her irises.

“You’re just like your uncle,” she declares, and you nearly choke on the air of superiority wafting around her. Joon pulls away from you, surely turning to scold Sabe for what she’s said, but she doesn’t get the chance.

“You black-hearted little twit!” Lydia roars, and she’s on Sabe faster than you or Joon can stop her.

Lydia grabs Sabe by her arms, shaking her violently as she shouts right in her face. “Get out!” she screams, “Get out and don’t come back! You have no idea what the Princess is going through, and what’s worse, you won’t even try to understand! You’ve never known duty, or responsibility, and it shows in everything you’ve just said! If you hate her so much for what she’s decided to do, leave!”

And with that, Lydia lets go of Sabe, pushing her to the ground. Sabe catches herself on her hands, completely stricken as she tries to haul herself off the floor. “You’re not my mother,” she spits, and you cannot understand why she still insists on being so defiant. “You can’t tell me what to do.”

Sabe’s up now, standing once more with a rigid posture. “You think you know everything because you’re older and you were married, but you don’t, Lydia. Your husband never loved you because you were a mean, spiteful, barren hag!”

Helda claps her hands over her mouth at that, and it takes everything you have to restrain Lydia. She fights you hard, no doubt bent on tearing out Sabe’s eyes.

(For a brief moment, you almost let her.)

“Sabe, get out!” Joon shouts, giving your vicious “friend” the final push she needs to flee from your chambers.

It takes just seconds for Sabe’s footsteps to fade in the corridor, and when they do, you, Lydia, Joon, and Helda are left to absorb all that’s just happened.

“What is wrong with her?” Joon demands, speaking to no one and everyone all at once. You suck in breath after breath, slowly relaxing your grip on Lydia.

“I have no idea,” you breathe. You feel like you should be crying, given the state of things, but you can’t make yourself sob.

You feel as though you’ve been hit head-on by transport ship. Every muscle in your body aches, and you feel like you could fall down at any minute. Joon must feel the same way, because she leans back against the countertop, rubbing at her temples.

In a moment of horrified clarity, you realize that Helda’s bore witness to every bit of the last twenty minutes.

“Helda,” you say quickly, looking over at her. She’s crowded herself in the corner of the room, as far away as possible from where you and Lydia fought with Sabe. Helda’s white as a sheet and trembling, hands still working nervously in the fabric of her skirt. You move to go to her, to offer her some comfort, but Lydia heads you off.

“Helda,” Lydia says, mimicking you. She walks to the child, arms outstretched, and the look of remorse of Lydia’s face is too apparent to be disingenuous. “Helda, I am so sorry I spoke that way in front of you.”

Lydia clutches Helda against her chest, and Helda lets her, not really returning the hug. “That was awful,” the child whispers, tears slipping down her face.

“I’m so sorry,” you say, to Helda and to everyone else. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just talked about my engagement ring and left the rest of it alone.”

Joon shakes her head quickly, scoffing. “No,” she tells you, “you should be able to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Sabe should remember her place and try to have a little empathy for other people.”

“Precisely,” Lydia says, wiping at Helda’s face with a washcloth. Helda isn’t exactly perky, but her eyes have lost their terrified stare. “Sabe should support you and understand that not all of us get to galivant about without consequences or obligations.”

“I really could have broken the engagement off,” you say, letting Joon guide you to your vanity. She begins combing your hair, and Helda and Lydia come to gather around you. “But I just… I didn’t want to. I thought I did, but then the Supreme Leader told me that he wanted my help, and it made me… excited to get married. Maybe I am like my uncle…”

Joon scoffs, batting you lightly with the comb in her hand. “Don’t even say that,” she scolds, “you’re nothing like that man. All he wants it power and money. All you want is an ounce of respect and a fulfilling life.”

Joon moves aside at Lydia’s silent prompting, making quick work of braiding your hair.

“I want to be cared for, too,” you admit quietly, almost with shame.

“Well, who doesn’t?” Lydia asks simply. “You’re a kind, sweet girl, and you deserve to be treated as such.

“That’s Sabe’s problem.”

You’re surprised to hear Helda saying that, but yourself and the others turn to her nonetheless.

“What do you mean?” Lydia asks.

“Well,” says Helda, “everyone adores Sabe. All of the men and women at court think she’s pretty, and her parents are nice to her. Sabe’s never been disliked in her life, and it’s gotten to her head.”

It’s flooring to hear Helda talk with such mature clarity, and you can’t help but give yourself a jab for underestimating her. All this time, you and the others have thought of Helda as an inexperienced child, but it’s clear that she understands more than any of you thought.

“Let her go,” Lydia declares, tying off your hair as she casts an impressed look Helda’s way. “You have bigger things to worry about.”

[panickinganakin]

26,000

KYLO X READER

A/N An AU in which the Starkiller base runs DNA tests on every member checking for midi-chlorians. I’m thinking of making this a small series (maybe something larger if you guys like). It will be reader finding out she has the force in her, she will learn the dark side first, unlike the Jedi’s who struggle with darkness. Let me know what you guys think! 

word count: 1639

warnings: angst, blood being taken for tests, vomiting, passing out, nothing r rated except the f word

Your head was spinning, how much more blood could they take from you before you faded away? The people who were taking your DNA in every way possible, were dressed in all red. You couldn’t see a single hint of humanity, your nerves were shot.

“It doesn’t make sense,” one hissed. Definitely a woman. “Try again, Commander is on his way back, a hurried return to check behind us, we mustn’t make a mistake with this, we will lose our lives for delaying a mission,” her voice was a whisper now. 

“No more, no more please,” you said tiredly as they approached you with another set of blood vials. “I haven’t ate a thing, you pulled four times today, please?” Your tone was as urgent as it could be with the lack of life left in you.

You felt the pinch, your arm turning cold for the fifth time today. You chest was warm now, your breath weak. The whole room was fuzzy and it started to spin, you couldn’t hold your eyes open any longer. 

“Impossible,” the voice was cold, you were scared to open your eyes. Where were you again? Oh yes, blood.

You turned your head quickly, eyes still squint shut. The bile in your stomach pressed up and you couldn’t help but throwing up. “How many did you say, again?” the same voice came through your ears again. You could place it now, and you were scared.

“Twenty-six thousand, Commander.” It was the same woman’s voice as before, the one who wouldn’t stop when you begged. 

“Impossible,” he mumbled. His footsteps were growing closer to you. 

Still terrified to open your eyes, you laid perfectly still. As if no one had seen you throw up, you wanted to believe you were dreaming. “We know, we tested five times.”

“Five times?” The commander’s voice sounded angry, “Are you so ignorant? No wonder she is sick. You will clean this mess up and you will bring her to the shuttle, I’m bringing her to Snoke.”

“That isn’t a good idea, she needs to rest and let her blood regenerate. We recommend at least three days. Flying could kill her, Commander.” The voice sounded urgent. You couldn’t pretend anymore, your eyes popped open.

“Don’t touch me!” Your voice was hurried but it was a beg. You didn’t think your stomach could handle moving again. 

“Look at her! If she does- if it is true, and this girl has the force in her... You will have almost killed her! Demoted. Every single one of you. Clean this up, and leave.” 

The bundle of black robes in front of you made you feel sick again. Commander Kylo Ren. This was as close as you two had ever been. He was just as scary as people had depicted him to be. “You’re scared.” His tone was flat, only a slight bit of curiosity. “What section do you come from?”

Did he have to ask? Of course, people didn’t know you, you were just a sanitation staff member. You opened your mouth, afraid of the sound that would escape. You felt very weak, “Sanitation.” To your surprise your voice was almost completely normal. “Living quarters, sir. I clean and make beds. Sir,” you made sure to add. 

“Interesting... What planet were you from?”

“I d-don’t remember. The first order,” you were carefully picking over your words, making sure not to disrespect the First Order, you needed to live, “they rescued me when I was a child. Hardly three.” Rescued? Not even close, but, it was a good lie. 

“Do you know what midi-chlorians are?” his voice returned to a flat tone, echoing off the walls because of his mask. Curious, what face lied beneath the dark metal. “I’m speaking to you.”

You weren’t sure how long you had been silent, long enough for him to notice. “N-no sir. I only know what they have taught us in the education sectors. I’ve lived my whole life on the Starkiller, sir.... Can I by chance.. Have some water? I’m not feeling very we-”

He held up his hand, cutting you off. Jeez, if he wanted to know information he could have been a little more kind. “No. Midi-chlorians are in your cells, the higher the number the more the force is with you- in- you. You have heard of Darth Vader?”

This was one lesson you did have. Sith Lord, power, Vader, power, blah blah blah. You didn’t want to give a vocal response, your throat was burning with terror, a lump welting in the center. Why did any of this matter? “Bring this girl water,” he said sharply to the two were cleaning up your mess off the floor. 

“Darth Vader had over twenty thousand midi-chlorians in a cell. And you? Over twenty-six, how is that possible?”

You were lost. Your whole life had been folding bed sheets and scrubbing toilets. You shook your head, not really following. He sighed, backing away, finally leaving a safe distance between the two of you. 

“We have a lot to talk about... I want her brought to my living quarters. You said three days until travel, she will not leave my sight. Double up on the guards outside of my room. No one in, and no one out. Hux will see to it that all missions are handled appropriately. I will not be bothered.” 

You were finally being given a glass of water, you gulped it down quickly. The commanders living quarters? This was a trap, you would be killed. “I promise sir,” you voice had finally made its way back to you. “I promise... I know nothing of these things, I have been a servant to the Starkiller my whole life, making beds and cleaning bathrooms. I’ve committed no acts of treason.”

“Silence. You will not be killed, you will be a very important piece to our strategy. You will be protected unless our Supreme Leader suggests otherwise. Now, someone get the fluids back into the girl.”

His cape flung behind him as he exited, your head spinning. He promised you safety, but it all felt like a trap. “Don’t let him kill me!” you were scared, sitting up, digging out the fresh IV. You jumped off the bed quickly, slipping on the floor that was still wet. 

“Listen, 8123, sit. You aren’t going to die,” the woman’s voice was now kind, understanding almost. She was pushing you back down on the bed, shoving the IV back in. “I don’t know what you know about all these things. Having that many midi-chlorians makes you valuable. You shut up and do what they say and you’ll live. That’s more than Commander Ren has himself. You can be trained in the force.” 

The force was made up, wasn’t it? They were just scary stores people told of the rebellion, about the Commander and his cruel, handless, punishment. “I don’t want to go with him, he will kill me!” 

“Foolish, that’s exactly what you are. You are being given an opportunity to rise above your ranks. Straighten. Up. Your. Act.” she was wiping a cold wet towel across your forehead. “Now, be calm.” Another nurse crossed the room, handing her a needle with pink liquid in the tube. 

The needle pierced your skin and almost immediately your eyelids shut.

The room you woke up in was white, very sleek, full of different tables and technology. This wasn’t the room you had went to sleep in. Sleep. You hadn’t went to sleep at all. “Those motherfuckers,” you mumbled. That had drugged you, probably afraid you would retaliate. 

To your surprise, there were no longer any tubes hooked up to you. Your wrists were red, had they restrained you too? “What the?” you sighed looking around. 

Even though when you stood up and found your legs to be shaky. you pushed forward. Where had they taken you? You let your hands drag across a clean, smooth white table. Somehow you knew where you were, you could feel something shifting in you. 

The feeling had always been there, why was it now coming to life? Was it because you were told about it?

“It’s the force. The question you asked yourself... That’s the feeling. It keeps our whole world balanced. Why hadn’t they tested you before?” You turned quickly, eyes meeting who you knew to be the Commander. However instead of a helmet, you were met with long black locks and a fair skinned face. The man was beautiful. Had this been their scary Commander?

“What? Oh uhm, I don’t know. Maybe they thought a maid of quarters wouldn’t matter?” You were becoming more confused. Maybe when you passed out, you went in a coma. Maybe this whole situation was in your head. Yes, that would explain it. A comatose dream. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. This is real. What is your name?” He was incredibly still. If his mouth had not been moving you could have bet he was a statue, fake like everything else you had been hoping was imaginative. 

“8123.”

“No, not your number, your name.”

Your name? What was it? You had been given a number at such a young age. You closed your eyes, trying to picture your young self. You were running in sand, your mother behind you, yelling to run faster. The ships were at your heels, they were coming to take you. She screamed your name. You eyes flashed open, “Y/N,” you choked out. 

Commander Ren’s eyes were huge, he shook his head, “Well then, Y/N. We have a lot to talk of before you meet Snoke. You are feeling it now, the force, you need to know good from evil, power from weakness. Follow me.” He turned on his heal and disappeared into the next room. 

Despite every ounce of fear in you, your curiosity was stronger. A chance to rise above your ranks. You repeated in your head, finally following behind the commander. 

chapter two

[happybeeps-nat]

Whump (but make it soft)

Soo, @imtheoutgoingsidekick-baby had an idea for my Whump!Fic, and I just had to write it!

The prompt: Ok so all I could think about is a period of time where everything has returned to some semblance of normal, but they're about to charge full force back into fighting or something. And poe knows that it’s possible he'll get Activated™ or whatever, so the night before they head out he's laying in bed w/ Finn and they softly forehead touch and he says something like "whatever happens, remember I love you always" And then he tucks Finn's head under his chin (so Finn won’t see him cry) and holds him tight and says "and if the moment comes... If you need to, for your safety, I need you to take the shot, okay?"

The scene:

He could feel him. He could feel Finn in his mind where there had only been pain before. Pain and pressure and soaring emptiness. Now there was only Finn. Only light. Only love. And fear. 

From what he had been told, Finn wasn’t really inside his mind, he was only shielding him. Like Poe was a moon reflecting the light of his sun. That thought made him smile, because how else could Finn ever be described? He was a sun, burning, deadly if you came too close, but also spending light and warmth and life. All for Poe. Finn gave him his light and didn’t ask for anything in return. Finn made him his moon, and there was nothing Poe would rather be. 

He was terrified of losing it. Of becoming a ghost planet again, wandering around the galaxy without the light of a sun but blinded by the light of thousands of stars. He just… he didn’t want to lose Finn. Not again.

“Hey,” he heard Finn whisper and was pulled back into the present. “You with me?” He crouched before Poe, hands reaching out but not quite touching, making sure that Poe was aware of where he was first. 

Poe smiled but he knew it came out sad. He let out a long breath and took Finn’s hands in his, pulling him up on the bed. 

“I’m here. And you,” he smiled and tapped his temple, “are here.” 

Finn mirrored his smile, the look of concern melting away into something a lot softer. Like golden rays of sunlight on a pink morning on Yavin IV. He leaned in and kissed Poe’s temple where he had tapped before, followed by another kiss to his cheek and the corner of his mouth, aiming to keep the smile on Poe’s face. 

He succeeded. It filled Poe with a near suffocating wave of love, and fresh fear of losing it all. It was like he was back on Jakku, the scalding hot sand running through his fingers, the unforgiving heat of the sun burning his skin, but still even worse was the upcoming night. When he would be bereft of all sunlight, all orientation, all love and life and there would only be darkness and cold. 

“Poe,” Finn whispered, cradling his cheek and turning his face toward him. He met Finn’s eyes, the deep brown a comforting sight against the pictures in his head. The love and trust in them a welcoming change to the terror in his mind. 

“Finn,” he mirrored him like the situation wasn’t serious, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips because it was silly, he used to do that a lot as a kid and it would drive his papa crazy. 

Finn huffed out an amused breath and tugged Poe into his side, shaking his head. However, Poe pushed further, effectively toppling them over so they could lie down, tangled up in each other. Finn laughed for real this time and held Poe even closer to his chest. 

“You’re silly,” he grinned and that felt like the weight of seven moons was lifted off Poe’s chest. To hear Finn laugh like that, so see him grin, to feel his chest vibrate with it. He’s sure he always loved that about Finn. His happiness. 

So Poe smiled at him, too. But he couldn’t say anything, because there were no words left in him. There was only Finn. All he could do was settle in beside him and rest his forehead against Finn’s, cradling his face and stroking his left cheek his his thumb. He wasn’t sure what his face said, but it made the Finn’s grin disappear and he felt immediately guilty. He wanted that smile back. Before he could say anything, though, Finn spoke up again. 

“You’re scared.” 

It wasn’t a question, but Poe found himself nodding anyway. He also found himself not trapped by that statement, and that was a welcome change. 

A silence settled in where Finn searched his eyes, and Poe let him. He had nothing to hide. Finn probably knew him better than he knew himself at this point. 

“You know,” Finn started after a while. “You used to talk more. All the time, actually. But I always saw right through you anyway.” He smiled and pressed a kiss against the palm of Poe’s hand resting on his cheek. “Now, though? I don’t have to see through anything. I can just see you. And that’s… I just… I love you so much, Poe. We’re gonna win tomorrow. I know it.” 

“Got a feeling about that?” Poe tried to tease but he choked on the words, tears welling up in his eyes. 

“I’ve got you,” was all Finn said before closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Poe’s already. 

And Poe didn’t have it in him to oppose him, to take that hope from him. So he stayed silent, letting the tears stream down his face sideways onto the blanket underneath him. He was so empty before, and that was horrible, but now he would give everything for the thoughts racing in his head to just be silent. 

He sighed through the tears. “I love you, Finn,” he said at last. “Whatever happens tomorrow, remember I love you always. Can you do that?” 

Finn opened his eyes, but Poe couldn’t look at him, couldn’t face him, couldn’t see his heart break again. He gently tucked Finn’s head under his chin and wrapped his arms around him to keep him there, rocking him gingerly. The tears came stronger now but he didn’t try to stop him, and he could feel his chest getting wet, too. Finn was crying. Because of him. There was that guilt again, but also love, so he kept going. Had to keep going. He had to do this, to make sure. For Finn. Ultimately, it all came down to Finn. 

“And if the moment comes... If you need to, for your safety, I need you to take the shot. Please, I need you to be safe. And Rey.” 

Finn clung to him now, shaking his head against his chest and Poe’s heart broke into a thousand pieces, but he just had to ask that. He needed for Finn to promise that. 

“Please, promise me you’ll be safe, Finn. Promise me you’ll k-” 

“No!” Finn sobbed. Poe ran his fingers through Finn’s hair, tugging him even closer even though there was no space left between them. “We’ll be okay, we’ll be fine, please Poe. Please don’t make me say it.” His voice broke, muffled by Poe’s shirt and his tears. “Please.” 

He let him cry, and he let himself cry. Because neither of them knew what would happen tomorrow. Neither of them knew, but only one of them still had hope, and that might be what made everything worse. Finn still believed that Poe was strong. Like he hadn’t proved that he wasn’t over and over again. Finn still believed that they could beat Kylo Ren. 

Poe closed his eyes and tried to feel it again, that presence in his mind. That shield that was Finn. It shouldn’t be possible, it has never been recorded, they didn’t even know it it would work. But that presence, it didn’t seem to shield him from Kylo Ren only, because as he concentrated on it, as he tried to really feel it, he felt a bit of hope. Like it was a light in a sea of darkness. Finn’s light. Finn. Who still had hope, who still believed in them. Who still loved him. 

Maybe he could do this. Maybe he could have hope for Finn. Be a shield for him, too. 

He leaned back a bit, pulling Finn up again so they were face to face, and then he kissed him with everything he was. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Finn. I love you, I won’t ask this of you.” He kissed him again and again and again until tears stopped rolling down their faces. 

“I love you, too, Poe,” Finn whispered, softly wiping his cheeks. “We’re gonna win. I know it. I’m gonna win for you.”

Poe stared at him for a moment before tucking his face into the crook of Finn’s neck this time, rolling so he could lie on top of him, so Finn could hold him tight. “Thank you,” he said. It was all he could think to say. But he felt that maybe it was enough, for once. 

[marithlizard]

Thoughts on RWBY v8c1, “Divide”

Summary: Much as expected!   Top-notch animation and imagery, terrifying plot, sloppy writing.

(I am just going to have to accept that RWBY no longer cares if details make sense, or are strictly in character, as long as they lead to Something Cool.  Which is frustrating! I’ve never been particularly a fan of most of the big story franchises for precisely that reason  -  I want a canon text that holds up to my obsessively analytic fangirl scrutiny.)

(Yes OKAY I know, they sent a dog through the mail way back in v2 and that should’ve been a clue, but the plot holes didn’t get big enough to actually annoy me until v5-v6. And I still love my favorite characters so I’m going to have to suck it up.  Onward to the episode!)

CINDER BACKSTORY ALERT

Oh, now that's a lovely transition,  present-day Cinder’s nails scratching in time with past-Cinder’s scrubbing of the floor. 

Damn it, Neo, you should not be here. You're not evil enough for  this crowd no matter how many people you may have killed.  And you know it, from that look of fear.  Roman would be yelling at you to run.

Did they - are those the murderwhale's gills?  Turned into landing pads for small airships? And those are teeth. Salem's throne room/bridge is in its mouth. So cool.

Credit? No, you  don't get credit,  Neo. That's not how this works.

Oh,  no. No, Emerald, don't - yeah.  

I love the weird biomagical-Grimm technology Salem uses.  It pulsates.  Of course it pulsates.

"Without you I am nothing".  I still don't think Cinder is delivering that line sincerely, not one bit.  She just knows the situation. 

And Salem just shoos them away with a little wave of her fingers, go away minion-flies.   There are only two players in the entire world as far as she's concerned.  Only two people, really.  Humanity 2.0 doesn't count.

Oscar and Ozpin in a freezing little collection of hovels. Probably still the same quarry or mine they fell into.   Oh YAY reunion approximately 1000% sooner than anyone was predicting!  But...Oscar doesn't actually look relieved to see Ruby.

Yeah, he hasn't told them about Oz being back.  

So they've joined forces with the Huntresses, excellent. And May Marigold on top of things as dispatcher!

AWWWW Nora didn't bowl him over.  Hopefully it's not just that she has no exuberance in her, and she has actually picked up the clear signals that he doesn't like it.

Wanting to talk it out with Ozpin first is a good reason. Not done talking? You haven't even started.  But...it's going to make the others mad all over again, and this time they'll be mad at you, Oscar.  

Ozpin has had only two lines so far, but there's a different quality to his voice now.  I think they changed up the sound effect but it's more than that.  Oz used to always sound at least a bit smug and very self-assured.  Every trace of that is just...gone.  And Oscar himself is sounding very Oz-like, with the “every choice I’ve made has been the wrong one” angst.   I’m starting to really worry we will lose Ozpin this volume. :( 

Qrow and Robyn's arrest hasn't been publicized.  But their pictures are gone from the wanted mug shots.  Arrested or dead seem obvious conclusions - I guess they're too afraid of the second to make any guesses.

Ironwood's rationale last season for stopping the Mantle evacuations was that they were going to raise Atlas so there wasn't time.  But that no longer applies, Atlas can't be raised without Penny.   So he's just decided their lives aren't worth spending resources on.  Which makes me wonder what's happened to the Mantle residents who have already been evacuated.   Being warehoused somewhere in poor conditions with no one having a clue what to do with them?  We probably won't find out. It's not the kind of detail RWBY is good at following up on, unfortunately.

Huh.  I see the logic of the crater being warm and centralized...but when Salem attacks Atlas they're going to be directly underneath.  

Ouch, that photograph and broken luggage are effective. I may have complaints about the writing but RWBY's storyboarders and animators do a stellar job.

Speaking of which, apparently we really ARE handwaving physics and major  engineering projects so that Amity can be launched with Pietro's knowhow and a  roll of duct tape.  The only requirement is to push the equivalent of the big green button on a computer.  

AND Ruby wants to go ahead with telling the world about Salem?  Despite it having been acknowledged last volume that there would be global chaos and Grimm invasions?  Ironwood's plan to "lend forces"  after the fact was hopelessly inadequate and would have killed millions.  Now there's no plan for  aid at all.  

ARGH - hm.  Well.  I guess I do see Ruby's point about feeling obligated to warn everyone Salem's army is on the move.  But what defense can anyone else in the world mount?  Atlas is the only place with a real army anyway.   And the Beacon footage already triggered waves of despair and Grimm, I don't think Lionheart was lying about that.   Ruby's plan just means people will die sooner.   I'm with Yang, they should help Mantle and concentrate on fighting  Salem here and now.

...wait,is Yang rebelling?  Just like that?  Is it v6c2 all over again with even less buildup?  Ooh, no, because  Ruby's not alone. It's a genuine party split.

Oh god, someone explain to Penny that she must stay out of Salem's clutches at all costs.  That's a frightening level of naivete.  In fact, they should be getting Penny the fuck out of Atlas and as far away as possible.

RNBWP and YJOR,  Rainbow-P and, er,  hm, the fandom will doubtless come up with a better name than "Orgy".  An interesting breakdown.  I'm just glad they were able to do it peacefully. (Although Nora sounds salty in the extreme and Ren looks betrayed.)

I'm just going to assume Pietro disabled the tracking on their scrolls, and that James can't find them using this phone call.

Oh, Ironwood.   That is...not remotely convincing.  But you think of her as a little kid still, one who was always eager to please before.

He's got a valid point from  his chess-game perspective, it's true.  If Salem gets all four relics, Remnant really is doomed.  (He doesn't know about the summoning-gods clause, but even without that she could reshape the planet).  But raising Atlas to keep it safe while she rains down destruction on the rest of the world is not a viable plan either morally or strategically.  

Annd we cut to the Ace Ops without hearing Ruby's answer. Ace Ops looking variously depressed, impassive, and pissed off.

..er.  Clover IS dead, right?  Must be, or he'd be covered in IVs and monitors, but that we're standing in a medical facility next to Winter getting treatment makes it seem  ambiguous. That's pretty cruel to the FairGame shippers, c'mon, they've suffered enough.

I wish I hadn't learned about the robot arm, because it would've been a nicely shocking reveal.  It's not Pietro's  work, James.  Pietro left you and you'll be reminded of that every time you clench your inferiorly-made fingers.

Oof, Winter is tied to Ironwood by his sincere gratitude, as well as duty and loyalty.  That bond is going to be tested further.

Okay the Councilors are acting like idiots. Martial law is a terrible idea 99% of the time. But when you have an massive Grimm army, a flying murderwhale and the queen of evil on your doorstep might be a reasonable time to contemplate the 1%.    

did you - did you just kill a councillor

please tell me that was a warning shot

Harriet and Winter both have "my boss is going round the twist fast, oh shit" looks on their faces.  And they exchanged a glance there.

And we end with the scene from the trailer of Salem ordering a flying monkey-bloodhound to fetch Oscar.  She's talking to the lamp - I wonder if Jinn can hear?  Probably not, it was definitely implied she was waking up from sleep in v6c2.

New opening!  I've already commented on the dramatic title card of the others "turning their backs" on Ruby.   Ooh,  Clover's shadow is going to hang long over this season, apparently!  And - whoa,  THAT'S an unexpected juxtaposition of characters.

Are they going to team up? Is Harriet going to break Qrow out of prison,  yell at him to stop being a lump and avenge Clover?   Definite teamup for him and Robyn, unsurprising but good.  (I don't think romance is in the cards for Qrow this volume, it'll be wall-to-wall doom, but for the record anyone who can give this man a happy ending is okay by me.)

It's just not looking good for Oscar and Oz at all.  :(    

Whitley and Willow in the credits!   Yes please, they both have so much potential to grow out of Jacques' shadow.

Watts, you smug little fucker.   Smug tall fucker. You know what I mean. Oh no - he’s going to hijack Ruby’s broadcast from Amity.  It’ll be like Beacon but worse. That’s such a horrible idea that it is now my official prediction. 

Interesting use of mirrors here.

That little glance between Yang and Ruby suggests they won't truly come to enmity, thank goodness.  

I wonder if there's something significant in the relative positioning of Emerald and Mercury.  Is he going to rise higher in Salem's ranks while she and Neo are reluctant, and possibly team up to escape? 

"Some lives will end much too soon,some evil will never ever die"  YES THANK YOU CASEY AND JEFF WE GET IT

Oh MY.  RWBY falling into deep water just like Cinder, with golden sparkles that sure do make it seem a lot like the buried GoL pool of creation. The staff floating above out of reach.  Is this hinting at an unwelcome transformation of some  kind?  

Scribbly outlines of weapons and Grimm and Penny, her colors changing.  "HAPPY EVER AFTER" being crossed out and replaced by "HAPPY NEVER AGAIN".  

hello yes I'm scared for the entire team, you can stop any time now.

[pilot-boi]

Beginnings: Chapter 2

Safe Arrival

Jaune explains some things, Ren tries to understand, and they come to a decision

AO3 LINK

Jaune was back on the ship. Something beeped periodically, but no matter how much he searched the cockpit, he couldn’t find the source of the sound. His movements felt sluggish, like he was moving through a pool of jelly. The colors were either too bright or too muted. Perspective zoomed and faded. Everything felt like it was tipping over. Was he tipping over?

“…days now…”

Jaune’s head swiveled towards the sound. Ren? When had he gotten on the ship? He was on Ventos Prime. Not Talbos Prime. Unless he’d gotten mixed up in the crash…?

“… didn’t tell you anything?”

Jaune’s head turned to the other side of the cabin. Mom? She certainly wouldn’t be on the ship. She- she hated flying. Why would… why would she be here?

Jaune’s mind felt as slow as his movements. Exhausted, he let himself lean back in his seat. The beeping grew louder.

---

Everything hurt. Especially his arm. He groaned in pain and tried to sit up, but as soon as he did, what felt like several pairs of arms pushed him back down, and choruses of “Please, relax,” “Don’t strain yourself, Mr. Arc,” and “You’re gonna be okay.”

Jaune blinked his eyes open, flinching back against the bright hospital lights. God, he hated hospitals.

As his eyes adjusted, he could make out the figures of his mother, Ren, two nurses, and a doctor standing at the sides of his bed, all staring at him. He had a few IVs attached to his left arm, and his right arm was completely bound in a translucent fluorescent green cast. Little nanobots moved around his broken arm, going into it to fix the bone. Something was wrapped around his head, but he couldn’t tell what.

Despite the results of the previous attempt’s results, Jaune tried to sit up again. “What’s going on?” he asked, his voice hoarse and nervous. “Where am I?”

The nurses gently pushed him back down again.

“His head was injured badly,” the doctor said, ignoring Jaune and turning to his mother and Ren. “He might be a little out of sorts for a couple of days. We’ll have to keep him here for a while, until then…”

Everything faded to black as the nurse turned up the IV drip.

---

“This isn’t a good idea,” Ren said, following Jaune carefully down the side of the canyon.

“We’ll be fine,” Jaune insisted, nearly losing his footing again. “Trust me.”

Ren didn’t, but that wasn’t going to stop him from making sure Jaune didn���t injure himself. Again.

They were walking through the cliffs where everyone was specifically told not to go. The rocky trails had led to many accidents, and were regarded as dangerous. Jaune had never cared about danger, taking chances that often made Ren feel more like the responsible adult friend.

Ren’s heart might have stopped for a second as Jaune started speeding down the trail.

“What can be so exciting that you would risk dying and going against your mom’s instructions not to go down here under any circumstance?” Ren asked, trying his best to keep pace with his speedy friend. It was no use. Jaune was already far ahead of him.

“You’ll see!” Jaune called from the bottom of the canyon. “Now hurry up!”

Ren sighed and picked up his pace, jumping the last piece and landing next to Jaune. “Okay, show me, so we can get out of here without getting in trouble.”

Jaune grinned and grabbed Ren’s wrist, pulling him behind him and through a crack in the canyon wall. The pair was plunged into darkness, and Ren was glad Jaune seemed to know where he was going. Suddenly, it was bright again.

Jaune spun around and spread his arms wide, “Ta-da!”

Ren gaped in awe, looking around the small cavern that had been invisible a moment before. A small pond sat at the center, and a crack in the ceiling let a beam of light illuminate the area. A few cliff birds chirped from their nests in the walls. Soft moss covered everything.

“I thought it could be our secret hideout,” Jaune said, tossing his shoes and socks off and sticking his feet in the pond. It was so clear it was almost like glass. The ripples moved across the surface, shifting the water lilies on its surface.

Ren followed suit, and the two let their feet drag in the shallow water.

“I like the sound of that,” Ren said, his usually stoic face splitting into a wide grin.

Jaune grinned back.

---

Ren sat in the chair in Jaune’s hospital room, watching his friend with eyes full of worry. Jaune had woken up several times, still mostly dazed and panicked. With the nanobots working to fix his body, and his brain, he was having horrible nightmares. Mostly he just whimpered, but sometimes he called out for Ren… for his mom… for anyone. It hurt Ren seeing his friend so… so afraid.

He knew Jaune was reckless, but this was something else. What could have possibly caused Jaune to so suddenly just abandon the Academy? He’d worked so hard to get in, and from their correspondences, Ren knew Jaune was a promising student with high grades and a near perfect attendance.

Unless that too had been a lie.

Ren snapped to attention as Jaune stirred in his bed. When Jaune didn’t move again, he leaned back again.

When Jaune had shown up at Ren’s door just a few days ago, Ren hadn’t known what to think. He hadn’t even had time to think between rushing Jaune to the hospital, calling his mother, and talking to what felt like twenty different nurses and doctors. Now that things had slowed down… Ren was just trying to make sense of it all.

Jaune had always told him everything that was bothering him. He should have known something was wrong when Jaune stopped messaging him as often two months ago. He should have called, checked on his friend, made sure everything was really alright.

Can’t change any of that now, he thought, letting his eyes drift closed. What’s happened has happened. For now, he just had to make sure Jaune recovered. Talking could come later.

---

Ren watched from a distance as Jaune’s mother yelled at him in that way only mothers could. Jaune nodded along, apologizing and promising to “never do something so reckless again.”

Maybe it was just Jaune still being tired, but he didn’t seem that focused on what his mother was saying. It felt more like Jaune was focused on something else. He knew that stubborn look in Jaune’s eye, and he’d known Jaune long enough to know that was never a good thing. But maybe he was just imagining things.

Ren really wanted to be imagining things.

---

“Jaune, it’s nothing,” Ren said anxiously, having to pick up his pace to keep up with his friend. “Really, I’m fine.”

Jaune didn’t stop.  “It’s not ‘fine.’ I’m not going to sit back while these idiots treat you like crap because of me.”

Ren felt himself come to a stop as Jaune marched on. There was that fiery determination in his eyes. Nothing was going to stop him. Nothing, especially anyone who would even try and hurt someone Jaune cared for.

Anyone trying to hurt Jaune himself, that he could brush aside. But he’d never been able to stop himself from through himself in harm’s way to protect the people he cared about.

Ren was far enough away that he only caught a few words. The one’s he did hear, he hated.

“You’re nothing, half-breed,” one of them snapped.

“Ren would be better off with us than with a filthy grett like you,” the other added, spitting on Jaune’s face.

Ren flinched when one of the boys pushed Jaune backwards. Jaune said something that made the boys' faces twist with anger. Jaune managed to dodge the first few punches, but they were bigger than him, and he’d never been that good in a fight. 

It wasn’t long before they had punched him out. Ren started running towards them the moment Jaune got punched, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop them from giving him a few kicks to the stomach.

They sneered at Ren before running off.

Ren grabbed Jaune, throwing him over his shoulder and rushing him back to his house.  

A few days later, Ren was allowed to see Jaune again in the hospital. Bandages were wrapped around Jaune’s chest, and his arm was held delicately in a sling.

“I really showed them, huh?” Jaune asked, laughing.

Ren started to chuckle too before he noticed Jaune buckle in pain.

“Broken ribs,” Jaune said, smiling tensely at Ren. “The nanobots are still working at fixing them.”

“You are going to get yourself killed one of these days,” Ren shook his head, half teasing. The other half seriously worried that Jaune would one day get himself killed.

“No, I won’t,” Jaune responded. “You won’t let me.”

---

Jaune never explained why he dropped out, and Ren didn’t push. After Jaune got out of the hospital, he had to stay home for a week to recover fully. Ren took it upon himself to make sure that Jaune actually recovered and didn’t go try and steal another ship.

Spending so much time with Jaune, he saw the difference.

He knew low grades and a pulled scholarship weren’t the real reasons Jaune had stolen a ship and almost died just to get back to Ventos Beta.

Usually he was a joking, amicable, upbeat person, but when Ren was talking to him, Jaune felt more reserved. Like he wasn’t really there. Once or twice, he even snapped at Ren before immediately apologizing and laughing it off as “just tired” or “cabin fever.”

Ren knew something was wrong, and it wasn’t whatever Jaune was blaming it on.

As soon as Jaune could leave, he did. Ren felt like a lost dog, trailing uselessly behind him. He wasn’t usually so focused, and Ren began to be even more worried when Jaune’s trail led down to the docks.

“It just feels good to see real ships again,” Jaune said when Ren asked him why they were there. “They hardly let us get near the big ones back there.”

That was another thing. Jaune never said ‘The Academy’ anymore. Always just ‘them’ and ‘back there’ and ‘my dorm,’ and never with any fondness. In all the years Ren had known Jaune, he’d never heard him refer to something with such contempt.

“Bad memories,” Jaune said, smiling reassuringly. “It’s in the past now.”

The only thing stronger than his anger at the Academy, it seemed, was Jaune’s anger at himself. Every time a headache made him have to slow down, or his arm started hurting again, Ren noticed him become frustrated and seething.

“I’m fine,” he’d insist stiffly, avoiding eye contact with Ren.

“Just tell me what’s wrong,” Ren said finally. “I want to help.”

But Jaune only brushed him off and walked down to the docks again. It wasn’t like Jaune to bottle things up, and Ren was half convinced his head injury had done something more than make him delirious for a few days.

Eventually though, Ren had to go back to work, and he couldn’t keep a constant watchful eye on Jaune. While he trusted Jaune’s mother, he knew she wouldn’t be willing to follow her son all over the city every day until he finally returned home late in the evening.

When he was able to visit though, Ren spent his time with Jaune trying to pry more information out of him without pressing his friend too much. It felt like he was interrogating a rock.

---

The day Jaune got his cast off, he was out of the house almost as soon as they got back from the hospital. Ren started to follow, but Jaune turned and stopped him.

“I’ll be back later,” Jaune said, but something in his voice told Ren otherwise. He wasn’t meeting Ren’s eyes.

A few minutes after Jaune left, Ren followed. He knew where Jaune had gone.

The docks were filled with people. Traders, scavengers, GAAP agents, and regular citizens. Finally, after almost half an hour of searching, he spotted Jaune. He was talking to someone. Handing that someone a card. Shaking hands. Stepping onto a ship.

Ren ran forward, shoving his way through the crowd, “Jaune!”

He saw Jaune freeze and start to turn towards Ren before stopping himself. Jaune didn’t want to look back.

Ren’s hand caught the door just before it finished sliding shut, and he forced it back open. Once he slipped inside, it slid shut behind him and beeped cheerfully. He took a step forward, and alarms suddenly started blaring around him, lights flashing red.

Jaune appeared just as suddenly at the end of the hallway, his face going from confused to upset.

“I told you not to follow,” Jaune said, pressing a button and turning off the alarms. “This isn’t… this isn’t smart.”

“I was not going to let you run off and get yourself hurt again,” Ren replied, folding his arms across his chest.

“Who made you the protector of me?” Jaune snarked, folding his arms in turn and standing his ground.

“Me,” Ren said. “Because I care about you, and you are not thinking clearly.”

Jaune heaved a sigh and leaned up against the wall of the ship. “Sure. Okay.”

“You have to talk about this eventually,” Ren said, taking another step forward. Jaune stared him down, but he was wavering. “I need to know what is going on. What’s wrong?”

Jaune looked back at his friend, steely determination melting into frustration.

“I couldn’t stay there any more,” Jaune began, looking down at his feet. “There was always this pressure to be the best, and for a long time, I think everyone thought I was. The best at flying, at least. Even if I got in trouble for my methods all the time.”

Ren knew that. Jaune had often called him, upset that the instructors didn’t let him fly how he knew how to fly.

Jaune continued, his knuckles white and his jaw tight. “It got suffocating. My teachers didn’t push me. They either gave up or thought I knew everything so why bother. Everyone looked up to me as this perfect student who could do no wrong, and I hated it, because it was such a lie. I felt like I had to live up to their expectations for my family, and if I failed, they’d hate me. I didn’t want those expectations. I just wanted to blend in, not be forced into the spotlight.”

Jaune gripped his arm tight, digging his fingers into the fabric of his sleeve. “So I stopped trying. I stopped doing my homework. I skipped class. I cheated on tests I already knew the answers to or just didn’t complete them at all. 

“I let my grades drop. When— The day they sent me a notice, saying they were going to pull my scholarship, I started packing right away. I hid the letter from Sapphron, and kept my plan a secret from her. Once I had everything planned out, I ran away. I stole one of the student ships that they use for short flights around the school and left. I crashed on Talbos Prime a couple days later. That’s when I—”

Jaune glanced down at his recently healed right arm. “Yeah. I did my best to keep myself alive while I fixed the ship, but I think my anger at crashing kept me alive better than any bandages or medicine. Once I got off of Talbos Prime, I flew back here, and, well, you know the rest of the story.”

There was a moment of silence between them as the story sunk in. Then Ren closed the space between them. He pulled Jaune into a tight hug, making sure to be careful of Jaune’s arm.

���Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, pulling away. “We could have talked about this, or at least found a better way for you to leave the Academy than running away on a stolen ship.”

Jaune shrugged. “I needed to do this on my own,” he said. “I had to make a decision for myself instead of just letting myself drift through life without a purpose. I couldn’t stay here either. If I stay here… I stay stagnant. I become a farmer or I just… ugh, Ren there is nothing here for me!”

He met Ren’s eyes with fury. “As much as I love Ventos Beta, my life isn’t going to go anywhere here. It’s out there! Out among the stars!” Jaune’s eyes lit up as he spoke, passion building. “I want to see new worlds! I want to meet strange species, make new friends, learn new things! I can’t do that here, or at the Academy. I need to do this, Ren. You have to understand.”

Ren shook his head, and Jaune’s face fell.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever understand you,” he began, “but I’m not going to stay on Ventos Beta and let you go out there and probably die.”

Jaune’s excitement began to return. “Wait, really? You want to come with me?”

“Someone has to watch your back,” Ren chuckled. And there’s nothing left for me here, he added silently to himself.

Alright,” Jaune said, already beaming. “I guess this is our ship then?”

Ren allowed a smirk to crawl onto his face. “Yeah. I like the sound of that.”

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

PARENTHOOD INTERVIEW: Zara. 

10 QUESTIONS NOT LINKED TO YOUR KID(S).

what is your current career now? “I’m an actress, director and producer. The latter two more often.” 

are you enjoying it? “I am, I love my job.” 

where do you currently live? “That’s a great question. I still have an obsession with property so we have a few different ‘homes’, but we’re still where we were when I bought my first house. Danny and I have renovated it, done things to the garden and added bits on which just makes it more sentimental to me. It’s where everything started.” 

are you married? “Happily.” 

what is one thing that’s stayed the same with you since st judes? “I’m still with Danny, I have the same passion for film and tv and I’m still living in the Springs for the most part.”

what’s the biggest change you’ve experienced? “Everything else. Mainly my mindset.” 

now that you’re older and have had a successful career, what’s your biggest goal in life? “To appreciate the people I have in my life fully. I never want to become too caught up in something that I miss making memories with them.” 

would you still consider yourself famous? “To an extent.” 

what was the first thing you did after your graduation? “I went to Los Angeles and just existed for a few days. I have a love, hate relationship with the place but it’s where everything started for me. So, I felt like it was necessary for it to be the place that I closed that chapter of my life too.” 

do you have any regrets about your time in st judes? “Many and funnily enough, all of them were when I let somebody else dictate how I was feeling or I listened to people’s judgements too much.”

QUESTIONS ABOUT PARENTHOOD.

who are your children? list them in age order. “Daphne and Adelaide, Addy.” 

if you gave birth, who was the easiest pregnancy? if you didn’t, which pregnancy did you feel most anxious about. “I was most anxious about Daphne because she was the first. I didn’t know what to expect and I fell down the hole of reading pregnancy horror stories. But luckily, neither were complicated. I had great pregnancies and births both times round.” 

did you have any baby showers or gender reveals? if yes, what did you do? "Nothing official. I find gender reveals tricky because, who cares? I would’ve been happy both ways and I’d expect every member of my family to feel the same.” 

what kind of parent would your children describe you as, do you think? “I hope fair? I don’t think I annoy either of them enough for them to say anything too harsh!”

which stage was hardest: baby, toddler, child, teenager or young adult? “For Daphne, baby. I think I went into it with rose-tinted glasses. For Addy, teenager.” 

what has been your favourite memory with each child? “This is such a hard question, there’ve been so many.” 

be honest, do you think you’ve had any failings as a parent? “Definitely. I always worry that I haven’t taught them to be headstrong enough. I feel like raising passive children who lay down and take whatever somebody is trying to give them is a massive fear of mine. I was that girl for a while.” 

what do you think you do well as a parent? “You’d have to ask them.” 

how much involvement do your own parents have in your child’s life? “None.” 

as a parent, what is something you’re still learning? “Life for them isn’t always going to be how it was for me. It treats everybody differently. Just because I had a strange relationship with my sisters, it doesn’t mean they they’re going to get more distant every time they have typical sister fights. Also, not to be hard on myself, but I do worry a lot.” 

what’s the funniest memory from parenthood so far? “There have been so many. I’m trying to think...One thing about Addy is that she’s always been obsessed with Danny. He’s her favourite person, she’s a through and through Daddy’s girl. Anyway, we went to one of her Christmas shows and she was 5 at most...She was the star, and when I tell you that her teachers could not convince her to stay on stage rather than keep wandering into the audience to sit on his lap, I mean it. I think it threw off the whole production - bless her.” 

when do you feel like you were needed the most? “For Daphne, I think it’s just been quietly throughout her life. She’s never been a child who needs our help. She’s always got on with things and done her best; very independent. But, it doesn’t mean she can get through everything alone. Nobody can, we’ve always been close, though, and I feel confident she’d talk to me if she really felt she was in trouble. I think Addy most needed us during high school. I can’t recall a day that she didn’t come home from that place and cry. I think teenagers, specifically girls, are awful to each other and not enough is ever done about it. I know they were just children but I’ll never forgive them or the parents who raised them for those years. Addy was a completely different child.” 

JUST FOR FUN, WHICH CHILD… if you have just one child, you can just say if they’d do the stuff or not.

which child is the most sensible? “Daphne. Hands down. Sorry, Ads.” 

which child is the most independent? “Daphne, again.” 

which child did you always have suspicions about being famous one day? “Probably Addy. Not because I never thought Daphne had potential, but Addy’s always been very...melodramatic and theatrical, even as a toddler.”

which child was the hardest work as a child? “Can I say neither? They were both good kids.” 

which child have you cried/stressed over the most? “Addy. The whole high school thing. I’m not afraid to say that because I think the girls who put her through that should have to live with the guilt.”

which child has the tidiest room? “Daphne, daphne, daphne.” 

which child do you think likes you the most? “Daphne. I hope they both do!” 

which child is most likely to forget your birthday? “Addy.” 

which child is/was the most academic? “Daphne.” 

which child is/was the most athletic? “Daphne.” 

which child tends to be the most annoying? “That’s an awful question, I’m not going to say!” 

which child asks for money the most? “Addy. She discovered the bank of Mum and Dad way before her time.”

which child is most likely to move in back home? “I think Addy.” 

which child helps out around the house the most? “Daphne. They’re both pretty good at chores though.” 

which child enjoyed disney the most growing up? “Definitely Addy.” 

BEING AN ACADEMY PARENT.

did you have a say in the academy(s) your child(ren) picked? “I didn’t!” 

how did you feel when your child decided they wanted to go to an academy? “Nervous, I won’t lie. I had my doubts but then figured I’d be doing them more harm if I actively stopped them from going.” 

do any of your children study the same as what you did? are they less, equally or more successful than what you were? “Daphne acts! I’d say yes she is more successful than me, but also, success can be measured in different ways. I don’t like the idea of either of them basing their achievements around how many roles they can land or how many awards they pick up.”

when your child(ren) were younger, what did you THINK they’d end up working as? “I thought Daphne would maybe go into writing and Addy into the make-up industry, but I think what they’re both doing now also makes sense.”

have you met any of your child’s friends or partners? “No...I’ve heard of one, though. Let’s leave it there.” 

what’s your biggest worry about your children being in an academy? “I don’t think I have one anymore. I’m starting to learn to live and let live. They’ve been fine in life so far and I’m sure they can take care of themselves without me constantly trying to control what they do or shield them from things.” 

what’s the one piece of advice you’d give your child as they start this journey that you wished you had? “Enjoy it and do what you want! Love who you want. It’s so cliche but it goes so quickly and there is nowhere near enough time to worry about what people might be saying. Also remember that you can’t steal a person anymore than you can keep them - if only somebody told me that!”

MEMORY LANE.

what tv programmes/films were on repeat as your children were growing up? “Bratz, Winx, Nancy Drew, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Hannah Montana, High School Musical...Addy was obsessed with Trolls at one stage. I could keep going.” 

have you ever lost your child/had something happen that’s made you panic? “I lost Daphne in the supermarket once. I was hysterical, but she was fine and looking at the pictures of puppies on the dog food.” 

what was the first holiday you went on as a whole family? “Is it bad I can’t remember? We had family holidays before and after Addy’s birth and I really can’t pinpoint which one was the first where we were all together. One of my favourites, though, was when we went to Greece. It was so scenic and beautiful and the girls spent all day in and out of the ocean. Ive never seen them so occupied!”

can you remember a time you’ve ever been called to the principals office? “No! They’re good girls.” 

say one thing about your child that you think they’d like to hear, but wouldn’t expect you to say. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy - do what you want, angels.” 

[vergilboyfriend]

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

[megashadowdragon]

on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke  among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S )  and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before 

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it  but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment 

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral​ 

@daughter-of-water​

@someoneintheshadow456​

[rhnuzlocke]

Chapter Nine: It’s Not Easy

Ren sat on a long beam of driftwood, worn smooth by sand and surf and bleached bone-white by sun and salt. Foam drifted across the sand, and whitecaps gleamed out behind the rolling breakers. The sunset played pink and orange across the glittering water, and red flashed across the sand as Ren released her team from their pokeballs, all except for Akahana.

“Those people who were after the Devon prototype came after it again. Steven kept us out of the battle, but it set off some wild pokemon and Akahana was badly injured protecting me.”

“Is she alright? Where is she?” Iki demanded with a shrill edge of worry.

“There was some internal bleeding, so the doctors are keeping her overnight for observation, but her prognosis is good. No battling for a week to make sure the cracked ribs mend well, but she should be released tomorrow morning.”

They all seemed relieved, except for Hakeka, who just looked around at the others. Then, all Ren could see was Akahana shifting and wincing on her gurney—downplaying her injuries despite the pain she was in. Ren couldn't decide if Akahana was trying to spare her or if she was afraid. She couldn’t decide which was worse. The Poochyena had seemed startled by Ren's apology and agreed to remain on the team without the slightest hesitation.

“I'm so sorry. I should never have taken the job.”

“There's no need for that,” said Panahi, nudging her arm with a wing. “None of us blame you, Honey. It was just an accident. These things happen.”

“I bought us here and then I panicked! If I had done what I was supposed to do and recalled her in time, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt!”

“Battling is dangerous sometimes. We all know that,” chirped Māia. “Akahana knew what she was signing up for.”

“Yeah, you sent me out,” said Tāraki. “And you helped me evolve to fight the rest of the wilds off. You’re a good trainer!”

“I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself,” said Panahi with a tilt of her head. “I know I just lectured you about taking responsibility, but there is a difference between that and blaming yourself for things you can’t control.”

Ren’s eyes fell and her face tightened. She bit her lower lip and said nothing.

Iki stepped forward. “I understand if this scares you. Battling still scares me a little. But I don’t think you’re a bad trainer and we are a lot safer with you than we would be alone.”

“Thank you. I’ll do better next time, I promise.” Her team shared a few glances and Panahi sighed, shuffling her wings. “In any event, we’ll be here a few days at least while Akahana recovers. I was thinking we could challenge the gym here. Māia, I know you missed out last time, so I want to give you the opportunity to take the lead on this one.”

“Hell yeah!”

“Do you mind backing her up, Ahi?”

“Not at all, Honey.”

“Great! I’m gonna wade in the surf for a bit. You gals can all relax.”

Ren got up and went down to the water, trying not to run. It took a few moments, but Iki and Tāraki came to join her. The wind carried Hakeka’s chattering from up the beach.

“I think we are ready for the gym,” Panahi answered, “but I’m a little worried about her.”

...

Ren and her pokemon stood in front of the Dewford gym. It wasn't nearly as dramatic as Rustboro, but interesting nonetheless. The building was a ring of interlocking aluminum plates set on stilts above the sand to keep it above the storm surge. Ren could see the circular sand battlefield through the struts and what was probably a retractable roof folded neatly above the structure, waiting for inclement weather to be deployed. But for now, all was bathed in warm, sparkling sunlight.

“I know we won’t all be battling,” Ren said as she looked up the long stairs to the door, “but I would like everyone to stay out and watch.” Ren turned back to her pokemon, and her eyes caught on the bandages around Akahana’s middle. Blue scales, an IV line, and a gurney she can barely see over swims through her vision before she forces it back. “We’re a team so we are going to do this together.”

“Yeah! Go team!” Tāraki crowed.

Panahi and Hakeka rolled their eyes at his enthusiasm, but Māia whistled in agreement. Iki just hunkered down on the sand, face tilted down. Ren wished she knew how to help her. She'd figure something out after they won this badge.

After registering, they waited in the arena as a few trainers assembled to face them. Ren took off her boots to feel the warm sand between her toes. She stretched up and down, then side to side.

“Māia, do you want to warm up on a few of these guys?”

“Nope. I’m ready. Tāraki can have them.”

“Yes!” Tāraki pumped his fist.

There was another conversation between your pokemon during the trainer matches that I think it may benefit you to hear.

“Oh, well go ahead then. I’ll circle back to my point.”

The rest of the team watched as Tāraki squared off with a Mienfoo, Māia whistling encouragement while Hakeka eyed him critically. Iki crouched, stirring swirls into the sand with her foot. She glanced up at Akahana, who was observing the battle with her usual passive expression. Akahana’s eyes slid over to her and Iki squirmed for another moment before breaking the silence.

“I—it’s just—We’re supposed to be a team, but I can hardly even talk to Māia and Ahi.” Iki’s black eyes lingered on Akahana’s bandages. “I’m not strong enough to be any help when things go wrong.” She sunk down onto the sand, making herself small. “I don’t know why Ren keeps me around.”

Akahana looked back as Ren cheered Tāraki to land a final blow on the Mienfoo. He ran back to her, and she hugged him.

“I think I was wrong before.”

Iki looked back up at Akahana, body tilted in question, and Akahana met her eyes.

“When you asked me for advice, I told you to look out for yourself, and I stand by that. But I don’t think she is going to get rid of us.”

“I don’t think so either,” Iki murmured, bringing her legs in even closer.

Akahana sighed and then pinned her ears for a moment at the pain it caused her. She turned back to the battlefield where Tāraki was facing off with a Timburr.

“Pokemon like us will always have a disadvantage. But not everyone on the team has to be equally strong. None of us can compete with Tāraki now that he’s evolved.”

Taraki caught the Timburr’s driftwood log with a big grin and threw it back at his opponent.

“There will always be someone stronger.”

Tāraki did a high backflip to dodge the next blow, but wasn’t used to his new form and landed wrong.

“But that only means that we have to work harder.”

Tāraki clutched at his arm for a moment, but grit his teeth and landed a Fury Cutter with his good arm. The Timburr fell to the sand.

“I know what it’s like to feel weak.”

Tāraki tried not to grimace as Ren felt his injured arm for a break.

“I know it feels like you’ll never be good enough, but bugs grow fast.”

Tāraki grudgingly agreed to yield the remainder of the battles and Panahi strutted forward to take his place.

“You will catch up.”

Tears welled in Iki’s small, black eyes and the tension started to fall from her posture. “T-thank you, Akahana. I’ve never had such a good friend.”

Akahana pulled her head back and blinked in surprise, but Iki smiled as tears ran down her face and dripped into the warm sand. Slowly and hesitantly, Akahana leaned down, pausing before nudging Iki’s helm gently with her nose. Iki smiled even brighter and stretched up to rub on Akahana’s chin, wiping her tears away with a slender limb.

Are you alright?

“Mmm. I’ll be fine. You had to know this was coming.”

Yes. You did warn me you were—what was that phrase you used? Unbearably sentimental?

“Shut it.”

Panahi finished battling the remaining pokemon uninjured, and Ren realized how tight her shoulders had been as they started to relax. She threw a glance at Tāraki and did a few quick stretches, rolling her head until her neck clicked.

A man with sun-bleached hair, a rash guard, and board shorts sauntered into the ring and waited in the middle for her. He tipped down his big, orange shades as she drew close, and a huge toothy grin split his face.

“Reeeen! I didn’t know you were coming my way!” He stowed his sunglasses atop his head and thrust out a hand. His handshake was heavy but relaxed. “Pleasure to finally meetcha, dude! What brings you to Dewford?”

“I had an errand to run.”

“Awww! That’s no fun!” He had no idea. Ren strained to keep smiling. “Glad you decided to drop in.” But she must have given something away, because his own grin fell just a little and his eyes narrowed slightly for an instant. “Hey, you wouldn’t want to come out surfing with us tonight? It’s a full moon, clear skies. Should be pretty sweet!”

“Yeah. That sounds nice.”

“Most excellent!” The toothy grin was back full force.

“Although, I don’t really know how.”

“It’s cool, dude. I’ll bring some of my tamer boards for you.”

“Thank you.”

“No prob! So you here for your second badge? Roxanne told me you totally killed your first, so I'm pumped to face ya. Who’re you gonna use to throw down?

“Māia,” Ren said as the Taillow flew to her shoulder. Māia flashed her wings and chirped in challenge.

Brawly raised his eyebrows. “Aight then! She seems ready to rumble!”

They parted to make room for the battle and Brawly sent out a Meditite. Behind him, more of the gym trainers had gathered and were talking while they watched, but the breeze carried their words away. Ren took a deep breath and focused on Māia.

“Time to show us your moves, little birdie!” Brawly called. “Hua, Feint!”

“Up and outta there, Māia!”

The Meditite sprinted forward and Māia took to the air, narrowly dodging its attack.

“Let’s put a lid on that fancy flying. Confusion!”

Māia came swooping around towards the Meditite, prepping for an attack, but she managed to roll aside just in time to miss the oncoming psychic waves.

“Yes! Now Peck!”

Māia instantly corrected her flight path. She dropped onto the Meditite’s head, dealt a sharp blow with her beak, and took back off again in one fluid movement. The Meditite wobbled, but stayed upright.

“Wing Attack!”

Māia barreled into her turn and came at the Meditite like an arrow, wings glowing light blue. The Meditite crossed its arms in a guard but went careening back as Māia’s strike hit home. Māia landed hard, sand spraying as she skid to a stop in front of her trainer. Without even bothering to turn around, she struck a pose, assured of her victory. Sure enough, the Meditite stayed down. Ten tried not to grin quiet as smugly.

Brawly chuckled. “That’s a righteous Taillow you got there! Let’s see if she can handle something a bit tougher!” He withdrew his Meditite and sent out a Machop. “Kick it off with a Karate Chop, Motu!”

“Parry with a Wing Attack!”

The Machop jumped forward, open hand glowing, and Māia spun to meet it with a glowing wing. The two limbs met and both pokemon slid back from the force of the impact.

“Get some momentum and use Steel Wing!”

Māia sprung into the air, quickly building speed as she swept around the ring.

“Wait for it…” Brawly cautioned, and his Machop froze and tensed. Māia dove. “Seismic toss!”

The Machop caught Māia by one glinting wing, using her own momentum to sling her at the gym walls above them. Māia tumbled through the air without a modicum of control.

“Tuck your wings!” Ren commanded in the voice that always gripped her, strong and sharpened sure. Māia obeyed in almost the same instant, spinning even faster without the resistance. “Open!” Māia opened her wings, and slowed enough to turn sharply before she met the wall. “Wing attack!”

The change in course had left Māia diving towards the ground, but she angled up just in time to level off a few feet from the floor. She arrowed straight for her target.

“Karate Chop!”

The Machop braced, hands at the ready, but Māia changed course at the last second. The Machop’s strike sliced through the air where she would have been, and Māia’s wing struck it in the opposite shoulder. The combined momentum set it spinning on its heel before its toes snagged and sent it face first into the sand. Māia used her remaining momentum to vault back up, flip gracefully in the air, and touch back down in between Brawly and his fallen Machop.

“Alright, alright,” Brawly laughed as he withdrew his second pokemon. “I’ve got a bigger challenge for you.” He sent out a Makuhita, and it flexed, thick layer of fat rolling over the muscles beneath. Māia spread her wings and let out a challenging cry in response.

“Bulk Up, Mauī!”

“Wing Attack!”

Māia shot forward as the Makuhita breathed in, entire body glowing. Māia aimed for its chest, but the Makuhita stretched up and out, and Māia hit its stomach instead. She bounced off and tumbled head over tail before landing on her back. She groaned but righted herself.

“Arm thrust!”

Before Māia had a chance to breathe, the Makuhita darted forward with shocking speed, mits glowing brightly. Māia got her wings up to shield herself in time but went sliding back from the impact.

“Parry with Steel Wing!”

Māia met the Makuhita’s next punch with a solid metal wing. She caught its second fist too, and it withdrew its hands, hissing is pain. Māia was puffing, and her wings were drooping, but she grinned smugly. Suddenly, the Makuhita surprised them all by throwing one last punch. Māia was caught completely off guard and went flying back.

Ren clenched her fists. No. They weren’t done yet.

“Nice hustle! One last Knock-Off ought to finish it!”

The Makuhita nodded and lunged forward.

They could still win this.

“Boomburst!”

Māia righted herself, dug in, and let loose. The attack always started deceptively quiet—a whistling as the air came together and the pressure massed—before blooming into something so loud Ren could feel it in her bones. The Makuhita hit the wall of sound as if it were solid and bowled over backwards, rolling twice before sinking into the sand. It lay there and groaned, the ring of aluminum walls still resonating around them.

Ren resonated too. Her own magic was in it—her strength leant to her pokemon and their power combined into one overwhelming show of force. A wild joy had seised her and her heart thrummed in her chest.

“Whoa,” Brawly muttered with a yawn, rubbing at his ear.

Ren whistled, and Māia flew to her raised arm. “You did it! The undefeated streak continues!”

“Of course!” Māia chirped. “As if I’d lose to a fighting-type.”

Ren failed to stop a laugh, the giddy warmth of her inner fire bubbling over. “A little humility! They put up a good fight.”

“Yes, worthy opponents.”

“Whooey!” Brawly called, and they looked up to see him on his way over. “That was something else! Congrats you two!”

Ren grinned, and Māia dipped her head.

“Here’s the Knuckle Badge.” He slapped it into her palm. “I gotta tell ya, a lot of trainers come in here with a Taillow or a Wingull or some other little flyer and expect to breeze through on type advantage alone. We usually send those slackers packing. But you two blew us out of the water! Your Taillow’s got guts, and she really knows how to rumble! She’s a true fighter after my own heart. More importantly, ya really trained her well. I thought I had ya a couple times, but you two kept turning it back. Basically, I just wanted to say that you totally earned this badge.”

The thrill of it was still buzzing through her veins, and for one more moment all was as it should have been, as it once was. “Thank you.”

“Absolutely! Your talent and dedication is gonna keep you riding that big wave all the way to the top!”

“I used to want that. I wanted it so badly, but I hadn’t even let myself think about it until he said that. Actually, I still didn’t let myself think about it, not then. If I had, I might not have made it much further. I don’t even remember what I said back.”

Ren clutched her arm. She could barely hear past the chaotic rhythm in here ears.

“You take care now!” Brawly called after her. “And don’t forget to eat dinner early! There’s no hurling on my boards!”

Ren managed a laugh through the tight ache in her throat. “Will do!”

...

There were no lights on the beach at night and not many still on in town, but the moon shone brightly. The sand was cast in silver, and the breakers flashed against the dark, glittering water. About a dozen people and their pokemon were gathered around a fire pit when Ren and her team arrived at the agreed-upon spot. Almost all of them were young women around Ren’s age garbed in wet suits or rash guards with varied fighting-types milling between them. Ren wondered if she should have sprang for a rash guard as well, but her two-piece was quite secure. Besides, if observation had taught her anything, it was that the people of Hoenn had fewer qualms about showing skin than her homeland.

A cheer went up as the group caught sight of her, and they gathered round to offer fist bumps and introduce themselves. One asked if Māia was the legendary Taillow, and when Ren confirmed it, they all fell back and made a big show of bowing and groveling, arms outstretched. Māia puffed up, looking supremely pleased, and flexed her wings for them.

Brawly broke through the ring to elbow out a little space and presented her with a longboard. They paddled out, most of the company in tow, and Ren stayed floating past the breaking waves to watch and work on her balance. Many of the pokemon had come out to surf as well with their trainers or on their own boards.

Once Brawly had taken her through the basics and let her watch for a while, he had her kneel on his longboard while he took them in. She managed to stay on the board, and they splashed into the shallows to much applause. Tāraki danced around, yelling about how cool it was, so Brawly volunteered to take him out for a spin, while two of the women eagerly took over coaching Ren.

Soon Tāraki was given his own board, and he and Ren tried their luck side by side. They wiped-out but came up laughing and kept going. Tāraki got the hang of it pretty quick and crowed when he made his first successful run. He collected high-fives as he paddled back out and Ren laughed and laughed.

Why are we revising this particular evening? A sorely needed moment of relief?

“Yes, but there's more to it than that. It was just like judo and drumming and everything else I tried after I quit trainer school. It was fun, kept my body active and my mind quiet—an element of competition, a sense of camaraderie. I caught myself thinking I could be happy like that. Sometimes I still think I could have been a lot of things. But deep down the fire still burns. And when I try to hold the lid down, the pressure only builds. And the flames eat all my oxygen.”

Not long after her first successful run, Ren retired to the beach and sprawled out on the sand to dry. She continued to watch Tāraki’s antics and the incredibly impressive surfing of the women who had been showing her the ropes.

Her nav buzzed, and she opened it to find a text from Wally.

Are you okay?

Ren had to think about that for longer than she would have liked.

Yeah What's up?

(´▽`ʃƪ) I was watching the news and the Champ got ambushed in Granite Cave?? You said you were gonna be there and I got worried (·᷄ὢ·᷅) Kinda silly But I had to check

Not that silly actually I was there when it happened

(*ﾟﾛﾟ)

Steven took care of the battle so I wasn't in the middle of it or anything But Akahana got injured by a wild

Oh no!! Is she okay?

Ren looked up, and her eyes fell on the Poochyena. She had dug herself a little divot in the sand and was curled neatly inside with Iki nestled snugly atop her. Ren had never seen her that close to any of her teammates before.

Yeah

Thank goodness! Give her a big Ursaring hug from me ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

The ghost of a smile pulled at Ren’s lips, and the beach fire flared as the wood resettled.

Will do

Ren almost slipped her nav back in her pocket before it pinged again.

Swerve But Did you meet the Champ?

Yep! We talked for a while before everything happened

Awesome! You're so lucky omg Or maybe it’s not such a big deal for you Since your dad's a gym leader Haha |´∀｀●)

It was still cool Steven is really nice But not the first Champion I've met

(＊〇□〇)……！ Kaspa?

Yep

w(°ｏ°)w ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ What’s she like??

Uh Scary

(ᗒᗜᗕ) lol I bet

But also really interesting She’s fond my dad because he’s a Sekei League Victor, and they get along well She wrote him a letter of recommendation when he applied for Gym Leader here She has always been nice to me

That is so hecking cool!! (◎0◎) I’m losing my mind!

Are you settling in okay? How are things?

I’m great! My cousin’s fiancé is really nice Not as awk as I was afraid it would be And Rosalie gave me TWO pokemon! She found a Togekiss to pair her Roserade and bred me a Budew with battle lineage! She has Giga Drain/Natural Gift/Life Dew/Extrasensory Right out of the shell!! She’s so feisty! I love her so much! (灬♥ω♥灬) Her name is ♥Beatrice♥

Cute!

Then Rosalie swapped some favors with another breeder to get me a therapy Leafeon! Her name is Daphne and she is a professional™️ I feel like she’ll probably give me an earful when the understanding sets in ꉂ(ᵔ̴̶̤᷄ꇴ ᵔ̴̶̤᷅⌯))л̵ʱªʱª⁎*.＊ I’ve kinda been running around a lot more than I should But between Daph and the air up here I can actually breathe?? Like I can just Go outside? Whenever I feel like it?? Is this how other people live all the time? Faris and I have been training almost non-stop I mean I’ve had a few _(´□`」 ∠)_ episodes obv Just me doing stupid stuff I was so caught up in the euphoria of being able to walk around That for like a minute I lived in a world where my lungs were functional

This was quite the shift from the day they met, when he could barely bring himself to reference his illness, and Ren felt warmth flush out the rest of her surprise.

Oh geez we’ve hit the memes Sorry for rambling (o_ _)o

Dude this is all so fucking amazing I’m so happy for you! Gush as much as you want

(◜◒◝)♡

Haha Where are you getting all of these? Your texting style is wild

I have an app! ー(´▽`)ﾉ Maybe you should get one The way you type out every word is pwecious

I don’t even know the Kantogo abbreviations that well I’m sorry to say you’ve befriended a troglodyte

Obv

You know, you’re a lot bolder via text

Lol that’s cuz I have WAY more practice I’ve never had an irl friend before Just internet pals

Maybe you can make more now I’ll introduce you to Kai sometime He could use more friends too

Aw thank you! Actually You’re gonna be in Mauville soon right?

End of next week

Maybe we can meet up? I was planning on getting my first badge

Nice! It’s a date

٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و

“Even when we barely knew each other, he always had a way of centering me. It’s easy for most people to tell me not to worry so much. They don’t understand the risks, not all of them, not really. But without ever telling me how to feel—or saying anything at all—Wally has always said that it’s worth it anyway.”

And do you believe that now?

“You think I would be here if I didn’t?”

I wouldn’t be so certain. But perhaps you might have been less angry with me when I asked you for help.

“…Can’t argue that.”

Ren picked her head up in time to see Tāraki wipe out again, but he came up smiling and paddled right back out. Brawly gave him a high five and then rode in himself on the next good breaker. Some of the others were getting tired enough to settle around the fire. Brawly stuck his board in the sand and plopped down beside Ren.

“So, ya have fun?”

“Yeah! Everyone was so nice.”

Brawly nodded. “They’re a good bunch. And you made quite a splash.”

Ren leaned back on her arms and shot a smirk at him. “Metaphorically, or when I fell off your board?”

He laughed breezily, sliding deeper into his careless slouch. “The former. Everyone was asking if you’d show tonight.”

Ren looked away for a moment, at her pokemon resting in the sand, at the others gathering around the fire. Maybe it was a kind exaggeration. But their enthusiasm had felt quite genuine. Not that she needed to sort out what kind of enthusiasm it was. She’d be gone by tomorrow.

Her eyes found Tāraki in the surf, and her smile returned.

“Thanks for inviting me. Tāraki won’t forget this anytime soon. I think you gave him a new hobby.”

“Never seen a surfing Grovyle before. Usually they can’t stand the salt water.”

“He’s from a tiny island to the south. He said he and the other Treecko used to play in the tide pools and gather seaweed.”

“Far out.”

They were an unusual group, this bunch of surfing pokemon and trainers. On the surface it was nothing like her father’s gym, but perhaps there was one parallel to be drawn. While martial arts were more traditional—in Johto and Kanto at least—the surfing certainly had something to contribute. Strength and balance for one. And thinking back on her battle, there was something in the pokemon’s movements that resonated: energy harnessed and redirected, push and pull.

“You really get it. Usually I have to lay it out for people.”

“Well, maybe there’s something else you can explain to me?”

“Like what?”

Ren eyes flicked back over to the rest of the group. “I notice there are a lot of women in your gym.”

Brawly leaned back with a casual stretch. “Yeah, we keep it pretty steady at three to one.”

“It’s very unusual.”

“I know right?” Suddenly, he was up at attention, and his wide eyes glinted in the firelight. “Most fighting-type gyms are like total sausage fests. But it so doesn’t have to be like that! It’s not like there aren’t tons of ladies out there who like fighting-types. It can just be way harsh to train in a fighting gym if you’re a woman. That’s why I try to keep it chill and welcoming here. Seems to work.”

Ren thought that over for a moment. “Are you sure it’s not cause you’re, ya’know, super good looking?”

That triggered another breezy laugh, and he slicked back the damp hair that fell into his eyes. “I guess some of the trainers that come in are crushing on me or each other.” He shrugged. “I mean, we’re all here to train, so I try to keep the gymcest to a minimum, but I’ve got nothing against the people who just want to feel it out.” He sat back again and thought about it for another moment, and Ren sat forward, crossing her legs and waiting for him to continue. “It’s like, it doesn’t matter why you start something. As long as you work hard and have fun, what’s it really matter?”

“Hm. That’s… really cool, dude. You run a great gym.”

His face broke into a broad, toothy grin. “Thanks! That means a lot.”

They let the silence hang for a while, until Tāraki finally came trudging up the beach, too exhausted to continue. Brawly took back his board, and after a good rinse from Panahi, Tāraki went into his ball.

“You ready to join the rest?” Brawly asked her, jerking his head towards the fire.

“Yeah,” she replied, and they went together.

“I wasn’t sure why, but what he said resonated then. I was able to let go again for a while—think about the short term instead of what would happen when it all caught up with me.”

You’re still not sure if that was a positive.

“You’ve seen what happened. Maybe it didn’t help to dwell on the past, but ignoring the future didn’t exactly serve me well in the end.”

Even if it is not always the case, perhaps it is what you needed in that moment. There is a balance, as in all things.

“Hm. Maybe I’ll find it some day.”

I think you’ll find that you become a better seeker with every misstep.

“That’s a nice way to look at it. And yet… I suppose it was too much to hope a god of cycles might see an end.”

Well, then as a god of cycles, let me assure you, that you do not run in circles as much as you think you do.

“That does bring me some comfort.”