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hawkland · 3 years ago

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My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6

Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)

“Oldies” but Goodies: Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.

Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out.

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*

Lots more recs below the cut:

More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.

X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).

sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.

And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley. It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.

what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet.

before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind.

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable.

15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:

Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.

so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.

Delicious smut:

Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.

He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell.

Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.

The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).

A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.

Short and sweet, fluff to angst:

Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)

And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.

Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.

Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.

#my fic recs #destiel recs #my destiel recs #ok that's it for right now #should be plenty to keep y'all busy for a bit

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zkfanworkweek · 4 years ago

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ZFAW Fan Content Creator Interviews: HayleyNFoster

Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!

For the second interview in this cycle, we have our best propaganda creator and this fandom’s hottest new artist/undisputed queen of the animatic, @hayleynfoster!

1. Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you?

When I was around 14 or 15 and caught Avatar: The Last Airbender on television, I was drawn in by the art style, the humor, and the wonderful characters. I caught the episodes out of order, and the first one I saw and wasn’t prepared to be sucked in by was The Waterbending Scroll. It intrigued me at that age, and the line “I’ll save you from the pirates” combined with the tension between Katara and Zuko in that whole scene was electrifying. I remember my teenage self thinking these two have so much chemistry! And when I saw a commercial on Nickelodeon that featured fanart submitted by fellow Avatar fans, I realized that I could do that to! So I set about making Zutara fanart for myself. I stumbled onto Youtube, practically in its infancy, and discovered that people set clips of Zuko and Katara set to music (And this was still in season 1 days… so people who made these amvs were the real mvps because they were able to make compelling narratives in their amvs with like practically nothing to work with!). The AMVs really spurred my interest in this couple, I remember distinctly one Zutara AMV using the Dido song White Flag utterly capturing my imagination. I found fandom shortly after, getting into deviantart and forums. But the ship really began to mean something to me when, as I was working on my drawings in the computer lab at school, a buoyant presence hovered over my shoulder noticing my Zutara art on the computer screen. The girl was someone I had never really talked to and had only seen from afar but she immediately started excitedly saying she shipped Zuko and Katara too! In this simple shared obsession, I made one of the best friends I’ve ever had and we’re still friends to this day. We would theorize and fangirl over Avatar like it was nobody’s business; we poured over bootleg San Diego Comic Con footage that showed spoilers for season 2 before it aired; we lost our freaking minds when we finally saw The Crossroads of Destiny. We had watch parties every week as Season 3 of A:TLA aired, and comforted each other when the show ended as it did (much ranting was shared). Those are some of my happiest memories from high school… all because this one pairing from this wonderful show. Even though Zutara didn’t happen, we still chat every now and then about it. Zutara will probably be a lifelong obsession, always bubbling under the surface. And without it, I would have never realized that animation was a viable career path. It really did inspire everything including the work I’m doing to this day in the animation industry. I owe a lot to this ship and to Avatar: the Last Airbender.

2. What inspires you to create zutara fanworks?

The resurgence of Avatar: The Last Airbender this year really helped sort of spark that dormant love I had for Zutara. The show’s ending still disappointed me on the rewatch, but Zuko and Katara’s relationship arc was as captivating as ever, so I turned to some fanfiction and looking at people’s pretty Zutara art and AMVs to just revel in fanon instead of getting to hung up on the actual ending of the show. But then I realized, with quarantine and my work load being pretty light, I had time to actually make all new Zutara art for myself, art I was never fully capable of making as a kid, but now could do with my 7 years of industry experience and just… life experience. And I was inspired to do some corrective animatics to satisfy my own desire for a different ending. I just really like exploring these two characters, doing different and interesting things with them, and frankly I’m inspired to make cute, fluffy, romantic art simply by virtue of living in a really sad and depressing world. Things are so crazy right now, creating art about two characters I love being in love, is comforting. And it helps to have inspiring music and amazing Zutara amvs to just sort of stir up my emotions and imagery in my head to make into animatics and art.

3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create?

Ohhhh… Well, It’s always nice to have people write fanfiction that puts words to my animatics. I am not that great at coming up with dialog myself, so I’ve just chosen to indulge in visuals and emotions for my boards. But when I read things like RideBoldlyRide’s take on my Reunion Animatic, it makes me pretty giddy. (They finally have voices!) :) And this is the MOST selfish thing I could request, but I’m not shy about saying how much I love well done amvs, so I will literally kill for someone to make Zutara AMVs to songs I like… Like, most of AURORA’s songs but especially Exist for Love, Sunseeker by The Naked and Famous, Promises or Take Me by Aly & AJ, Adore You by Harry Styles, Human Enough by ONR, Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine, and/or Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier just… I can see the AMVs so clearly to any of these songs in my head, but I don’t have the tools or skill set at my disposal to make a compelling fan video. When I was in high school, I originally thought I wanted to go into video editing simply because I loved making very crappy AMVs (they were so bad you guys), but I figured out being a storyboard artist was more in my wheelhouse. haha

4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?

If you’re new to the Zutara fandom, just have a good time! Don’t waste too much time arguing with people over your shipping preferences. I wasted so much of my teen years having pointless shipping wars with people on DeviantArt, and I’m just so much happier nowadays because I’m just making Zutara art in my little corner of the internet, and honestly, in the politest of ways, I don’t give a shit if people don’t like my art or Zutara. haha I think that’s sort of a key thing for people thinking of posting creative works here in the fandom, just make art for yourself, satisfy your own desires for the pairing, get your creative sparks flying, and create just for the joy of creating. It’s always nice to get comments and such, but simply making the art should be what spurs you on, not the external validation. And have a good time, don’t worry too much - I say as someone who worries about EVERYTHING. But honestly, making art for A:TLA is some of the most relaxed I’ve been because I make it just for me. I’m lucky others seem to like it too!

5. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven't gotten around to making?

I have an idea for a second generation storyline with my Zutara kids that involves Kya (the eldest firebending daughter) falling in love with an airbender boy (tentatively named Gora in my headcanon who’s a bit of a rabble rouser and one of Aang’s kids he had with a Kyoshi Warrior), and then they start a socialist revolution in the Fire Nation in order to dismantle all of the hierarchical societies across the Avatar world… Together Kya and Gora Fan the Flames of revolution… ehhhhh... Get it?? Oh! Oh, and then Katara, who had put in legit liberal reforms in her time as Fire Lady listens to her daughter after resisting in the first part of the story, but then realizes she can actually play a part in the dissolution of the royalty and is also active in the revolution realizing that moderate liberal reforms are no substitute for a society free of serving royalty (which she had always been uncomfortable with but had rationalized with herself that she was doing good in her capacity as Fire Lady.) I just feel like there’s a lot of cool potential for discussing these ideas and also having some aspirational change in the Avatar world. lol For aesthetics and just happy fluffy times, I can indulge in Fire Lady and Fire Lord Zuko stuff, but really at the end of the day, I take issue with the structures in a society that have to exist for monarchies to exist. Soooo, I kind of want to do my own corrective story for that… if I ever have the time or guts. On a less ambitious note, I would love to do a Zutara sparring animatic to practice doing action, but I need a good story; I am not good at doing fights just for fighting’s sake. Those are just some things I have rattling around in my head.

6. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so want to give us a hint as to your plans?

Yes! The most I can say is I have one animatic almost finished and one that’s still being thumbnailed. The rest are probably going to be comics or emotive single pieces based on the fanfics I really like right now. :)

#interviews #zutara fanworks appreciation week #zfaw #hayleynfoster #zutara

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syubub · 5 years ago

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SOULMATE READING- TAEHYUNG

First of all, sorry about the pic. Second is the disclaimer. This is a tarot reading meant for entertainment only. Thirdly, I decided to do each member as an individual post bc I think it's less hassle that way 💕

Okay

Okay. So. Wow.

I don't know where to start with Tae. His soulmate and him have the most ideal relationship. The cards for the relationship aspect is 100% soulmate vibes. I mean come on, the 2 of cups (soulmate card), 4 of wands (marriage) and the lovers all right next to eachother? Hot damn. They definitely travel together a lot and his Soul Bae might be a good entrepreneur? Idk but they are both financially set.

I think we should start with physical attributes first. I have a strong feeling that they will be naturally blonde or have blonde hair at the time they meet. The color yellow is also important (Taes energy is very yellowish gold to me. Coincidence?). I also get the sense that this is an old soul. May be older than Tae but definitely an old soul. A youthful face. Sort of fun yet intimidating look to them. They might have sharp features (specifically eyes which could be a grayish brown? Possibly even have heterochromia? Might have light freckles. Puts effort into the way they look but also just wakes up looking flawless. Might be from abroad. His soulmate might be very interested in France, have a very French aesthetic or lived in France. His soulmate is very much like him. Relatively tall? Modelish but unconventional, like kinda built, lanky, boxy. Strong legs. Wavy hair? Idk. A balance of masculine and feminine traits. The type to enjoy being fancy but also super down to play video games and can definitely out drink Tae. Definitely. Looks good in sweats lol.

onto how/where they'll meet. It might be when he is alone at a museum in France standing in front of a statue of Venus (It popped into my head and i couldn't not write it down) or perhaps when one party is traveling and they meet on a hike or in nature or something like that. Possibly even at a work function. As for when they meet. It is up to both parties to decide to come into union spiritually. If that makes sense? They both will be drawn to eachother when the time is right for them.

Onto this person's personality. Earthy influences. Romantic!!! Romantic. So romantic. Their love language is words of affirmation. This person is very chivalrous? Idk like this person is very gentlemanly? Like, they want to take care of tae and will open doors for him and stuff. Makes him chocolate covered strawberries. Also very intune to ~otherworldly~ things. Lowkey a psychic. Idk why but this person it like guided by Taes guides sometimes? Like, they'll just pop in. And like, when it's time for them to meet, Tae grandma will give him every fucking sign to be like, "THIS ONE!! THIS IS YOUR SOULMATE, KID!" (Also, topic for a different day but i have a mad feeling that Tae communicates with the dead, specifically his grandma, and that's why he trust/ relies on his "angels" so much.) I don't want to be insensitive or step on toes or anything but like Taes grandma probably communicates with Taes soulmate too? And like, I keep getting an image of Tae and his soulmate sharing dreams? Idk it's a lot. And I think I've said it before but Taes soulmate is... massive... like, energy wise. Theres almost like an archaic, out of this world feeling to this person and they have to be spiritual or imma shout. Like, this person. Is. Crazy. Idk what's up but it's almost like there's a wall? Like, I'm not privy to it because my small little fragile conciousness would shatter in its presence? Maybe a bit dramatic but there is a lot behind this person and their union with Tae. This person has been through a lot and might be closing an old chapter in their life when Tae comes in. This person might feel lost? Like, they have such massive energy but human life is stupid and confusing and they dont know how to channel energy into productivity? Might also fear abandonment and commitment so they have a hard time really connecting with people because they get attached easily and are afraid to lose them. An empath? Very creative and able to manifest pretty much anything. For archetype cards, I got: artist, shape-shifter, knight, messiah. Very very creative and can probably draw in experience from different levels of conciousness? Like this person is an artsy, spiritual Joan of Arc.

So. Cards about their situation are Soul Family and Inner Temple. Essentially they both need to awaken and call eachother in. They need to fully be themselves and just exist!

Cards to Tae from his Soul Bae: progress, not perfection, answered prayers, unconventionality, big bold vision, beyond the mind the heart beats, sacred fool.

Okay. His Soulmate is a funny one, I'll get to that soon, but also very genuine. Like this person wants to see him grow and Express full potential. Bae wants him to stop caring what others think and be weird! Theres stuff he doesn't talk about with other people (perhaps the fact that hes way more spiritually intune than most. Not by choice either though. He was born with this shit. He probably saw faeries as a kid and shit) Bae wants him to settle back and listen to his inner self and nurture what's already there. This is a line from the description of sacred fool, "Don't try to be appropriate, don't try to be socially acceptable and worry about what others may think about what you are doing-just be. If you want to wear a mad hat whilst doing so, fine." Bae wants him to have fun and do whatever the fuck he wants to do because Tae being happy is what's important. Like, if Tae went and bought a literal circus and was like, "this is my dream, its who I am" Bae would be like, "...are you sure?" And if he was sure, then his soulmate would double check everything, make sure hes safe and dive in head first with him. It's very supportive but also his soulmate is practical. Like, his soulmate wouldn't willingly let him do anything that would directly harm him or ruin his life, you know? This is his guardian angel. His love. His tried and true. One and only. It's ridiculous and they will have kids and a farm. Fight me on that.

I wanted to channel a message from his soulmate to him and I got a laugh, something about "our four leaf clover" "He needs a haircut" and, "Tell him he's dense but I'll love him forever in this life and the next. Forever."

Then I thought, well, Jimin is definitely Taes platonic soulmate so like Taes Bae and Chim have to get along and I got the cutest image of Tae, Taes Bae, Jimin and Jimins soulmate all sitting together in a garden drinking tea and laughing and all of their guides are watching them with smiles and the rest of Bangtan and their soulmates come into the garden with their soulmates and it's a cute Soul-party and now I'm super soft.

Theres so much to say about this soulmate union and really even just his soulmate because it's such a powerful energy and I think someday I want to do a part 2 for this because I have lots of questions. I feel like these two can have any sort of life together. Like they both hold the pen and are constantly writing and revising their life scripts. Also, I get the feeling that his soulmate is...hmm.. they give me the feeling that they might not exist? Like they do but at the same time they don't? Or maybe they're just like, deep. Like an onion. I'll put a pin in this for another time but it gives me a deep indigo type of feeling, you know? It's a whole thing. I'll do a part 2 for this.

Last comment. Taes Soul bae has great eyebrows? Idk why but that's a thing apparently.

TLDR

Tae has a fantastic soulmate who is impressively cool, they have the cutest life together and they are definitely going to live the cutest domestic life ever? Also, Tae probably wants to have 6 kids so each kid can have a designated Bangtan Godfather lol. Think artsy-museum-farmer-millionaires who have a house made of Gucci and matching rocking chairs.

Cute cute cute. Like I said, I'll expand on this later! Also, I apologize if it isn't very cohesive or doesn't make a lot of sense. I've been busy and my life is a little messy but I wanted to get this out!

Stay safe💜

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zelskzerker · 3 years ago

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Mangadex went down so I read alot 1/7

Lets review a bunch of isekai and related stuff I binged because mangadex went down. The scale will be a single thumbs up to a single thumbs down in terms of how much I would consider recommending it in general.

Legend

Chapters 1-51 Pretty straight forward in most aspects. For the best. Nothing crazy bad or good happening, making it surprisingly straight forward for an isekai. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC is given a super magic body and the knowledge of ancient magic. Which he promptly uses to create a griffon buddy. Gets a THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER for just being a nice, believable stay in a world, but I have read some stuff that really has interesting sparks the way this doesnt. MC is brutal at times and General Princess is cute. They make a good pair for each other. Although there are no ecchi situations, that artist really knows how to slide in the lewds, whether its mid combat flourishes or pre chapter artwork.

The Black Create Summoner: Revolt of Reincarnated

All Chapters

Truly is revolting. A resounding THUMBS DOWN. Apparently this was just an advertisement manga, which means that its intentionally incomplete and unsatisfying. Ontop of that, the sketchy artwork was generally rough and got worse to look at the more it went on. [Insert isekai startup here] but this time he has a grimoire that lets him summon stuff he draws. The power isn’t used that much though or in that creative of ways. Characters didn’t really leave an impact except maybe the elf little sister that is stubborn yet knows she is incompotent and recruits a dragon out of stubbornness.

Minotaur’s Sweetheart

Chapters 1-16

So what if a minotaur accidentally seduced the adventurer that was assigned to kill him? This is a good romance manga deserving a THUMBS UP because the pure-hearted minotaur boy and the unmarriageable adventurer girl actually develop a relationship and progress as people. The manga is ultimately about monsters and humans interacting and is fresh due to having a plot that evolves the situation a lot beyond the initial setup of the manga.

Moon-led Journey Across Another World

Chapters 1-64

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time the god of the new world calls the MC ugly and banishes him to the edge of the world to die off. In order to help out the MC, the god of our world (Tsukuyomi) gives him a bit of power. The MC is funny to watch once you realize that he is an incredibly cautious pureboy and expecting every common street thug to potentially end him but in reality he is a god-rivaling cataclysm himself and never realizes. He is so powerful that he recruits the blue haired mist dragon, Tomoe, and accidentally turns her into a weeaboo. Tomoe can read minds and access pocket space with her mist ontop of her sick weeaboo katana skills. She really shines as the most mature person in the story, gaining information that no one else in the story has and carefully withholding it from the MC in order to protect his innocence. She is a DAMN good tomboyish waifu and sarashii is a blessing. Other main girl is yandere spider, Mio, which has shockingly good and well conveyed bouts of emotion. She has an extremely rare “can’t cook at all” joke that is explained due to her “eat literally anything” nature. In terms of plot, the MC hates the god of the world he is in and pretty much plans to do everything she doesn’t want him to. Which means mingling with humans, and eventually, god slaying/usurption. Odd think about this manga is that it’s heavily Japanese-inspired. That may sound odd because its a manga, but generally isekai are most medieval/western skinned than this one which leans in on Japanese mythos. Just look at the god of our world in the manga.

THUMBS UP.

The Unsuccessful yet Academically Unparalleled Sage ~A Cheating S-Rank Sorcerer's Post-Rebirth Adventurer Log~

Chapter 1-10 So lets set up this genre here. This is a part of the “reincarnation” genre, which is a spinoff of isekai. They generally depict a very capable mage who reincarnates themselves into the future of their own world. At which point they realize that although they were pretty strong in their day, they are now practically a god in the deteriorated modern day. This genre will hereby be indicated by [Insert reincarnation startup here]. For this manga in specific, [Insert isekai startup here] but this time the MC could only use lightning magic and was the best at it but failed the gene gacha then [Insert reincarnation startup here] and he fails gene gacha again but is still the walking thunder god. These kinds of manga are always precious when the MC can walk through the world and see the fruits of their past labor. Specifically through Merlin, the MC’s adopted demon daughter who has grown up to be his heritor and bridge human/demon relationships. Truly adorable and heart warming. Lacks a bit of spice from themeing or ongoing plot due to its short length however. THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

Older Elite Knight is cute only in front of me

Chapters 1-17.1

THUMBS UP. This is an oneshota manga where shota is a chad with incredibly good tastes. A really good ecchi manga with a light hearted story featuring Haru(the shota) knight that joins Karen’s(the oneesan) knight crew. As with all good romance manga, the main plot isn’t romance. Knight shenanigins are always happening, with a big (and lewd) bad entering recently. Top tier variation on the lewds, even including a princess loli in on the fun. Must read for all oneshota fans.

Lonely Attack on A Different World

Chapter 1-91

[Insert isekai startup forma de classroom here] but this time the MC gets leftover garbage skills and has to learn to survive. Learning to survive thus makes him the most op and he can magic trick his way out of literally anything. Strong start as the whole classroom first tries to get their footing, but after the starting arc is done this manga starts spinning it’s wheels. The manga is kinda lacking in themes, overarching plot and end goals, so stuff just happens to make this a sort of slice of life trap room escape manga. Magic “just works” in this universe so its not very dramatic when the MC pulls out a new trick out of his bag of million tricks. Just kinda stagnates too much for my liking. THUMB IN THE BOTTOM CORNER.

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer

Chapters 1-34

Rentt Faina, the MC, is a good guy with no talent who aspires to be a legendary adventurer. But then he gets turned into a skeleton, giving the chance to evolve his way to greatness, kinda like in Spider isekai or Dragon isekai. The MC is most like Goblin Slayer in his serious and knowledgeable approach to the world, how characters that know him revere him. End goal so far is just him seeing how far he can evolve as he comes across other vampires and vampire hunters. Really want to see him go to the top. Fuckin great art. Girls drawn perfect. Like the hat on the guild girl, but nothing beats the witch Lorraine. THUMBS UP.

Teihen Ryoushu No Kanchigai Eiyuutan

Chapters 1-13

THUMB IN UPPER CORNER. Pretty funny comedy about a lord of a poor land who wants to be a stereotypical evil lord but can only use healing magic. Therefore he bumbles his way into accepting a heretical cult nun, beast men who hate humans, etc. All the girls are to crazy for him to want to sex them(weak. give the assassin nun your babies). Most interesting parts are aforementioned nun, his fujoshi assistant, and the MC’s willingness to use his power to commit heretical and immoral warcrimes.

The Undead Lord of the Palace of Darkness

Chapters 1-11

Art average, don’t come to this one for spectacle. It’s strength is in the subertfuge that it’s recently-necromanced-back-to-life MC goes through to get his Master killed and to later, probably, evolve into a vampire. MC isn’t evil though, just wants to survive. Main girl on cover was born and raised to hunt vampires but has a compassionate heart. Obviously she goes easy on and relates to MC. Story is still kinda in it’s first arc so the overall trajectory of the story is a bit hard to gauge and not quite satisfying enough by its own right. Probably a thumb up with more chapters but for now THUMB IN THE UPPER CORNER.

The Reincarnated Inferior Magic Swordsman

Chapters 1-38

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time.... uh... THUMB SIDEWAYS. Usually I am patient, but 31 chapters with no goal and just barely plot? Wow. Saving grace is uh... I guess the world of “other isekai people existed but they sucked because they didn’t level uncap like MC” could go somewhere but. I take it back, lowering this one to a THUMB DOWN.

The Invincible Sage in the Second World.

Chapters 1-12

[Insert isekai startup here] but this time a pro mmo player in a game called “Broken Balance Online.” Guess what his class, the sage class, was considered in the game? Not far along enough to really pop off but it isn’t horrible. MC is moderately cautious to a healthy degree which is actually rare in most isekai. THUMB IN BOTTOM LEFT CORNER.

The Dark Queen and I Strike Back

Chapters 1-29.5

Although technically an isekai, no isekai startup here. This a battle manga with a big mystery on the backdrop of a war. That is to say, the MC gets teleported to a world to kill the demons but he ends up defending them from the humans with all he’s got. Of special note is the complete seriousness of this manga that whiplashes into debauchery like tentacles, the above cover, oneshota, and even really dark jokes in some of the omake. That tonal lash effect will be either make or break, and it is a HUGE make for me. I love when a single piece can have both absolute serious scenes and utterly lighthearted and fluffy ones. Or in this case utterly lewd ones. May the average-human-amount-of-perverted MC one day slam some demon lord loli. THUMBS UP.

Chillin' in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers

Chapters 1-24

THUMB SIDEWAYS. Has the feeling of a nerfed slime isekai. Nerfed in all ways except romance. Art surprisingly good.

#Legend #The Black Create Summoner: Revolt of Reincarnated #Minotaur’s Sweetheart #Moon-led Journey Across Another World #The Unsuccessful yet Academically Unparalleled Sage ~A Cheating S-Rank Sorcerer's Post-Rebirth Adventurer Log~#Older Elite Knight is cute only in front of me #Lonely Attack on A Different World #The Unwanted Undead Adventurer #Teihen Ryoushu No Kanchigai Eiyuutan #The Undead Lord of the Palace of Darkness #The Reincarnated Inferior Magic Swordsman #The Invincible Sage in the Second World.#The Dark Queen and I Strike Back #Chillin' in Another World with Level 2 Super Cheat Powers

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gofancyninjaworld · 6 years ago

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What I’m Looking Forward to in One-Punch Man Season 2

Season 1 laid out who was who and gave us some great eye candy. Season 2 is where things start to happen. There’s so much that I’m looking forward to!

The Characters

Saitama: We see Saitama finally make a friend, get resolution as to why the world ignores him, and get to celebrate his progress, even as we learn how deep his sense of alienation goes. I love how it's going to start with Saitama walking away from his disciple and end with Saitama running for his disciple and how nothing else mattered until he saw him safe and well.

Genos: Last series, we saw Genos try and lose, try and lose, try and lose, try and lose yet again. This season, from the very first episode to the very last, we watch that process of change from a failing hero to a truly fearsome one fit to rub shoulders with the best of heroes. I want to see how it thrills us, entertains us, breaks our hearts and maybe we dare to hope for even crazier heights in the future.

King: I want to see King be exposed as a fraud and a coward who runs from danger and leaves people to die, then redeem himself as a decent human being and become the fraud and coward who stands before danger so people might live. That's huge -- he's been running like a rabbit for years.

GAROU! I want to see the story of how Garou grows from a malcontent and apparent crazy to this juggernaut whose appointment with destiny cannot be stopped.

And those are just the headline characters. There are so many more I want to see more of on the screen, but this post is already getting long!

The Story Arc

Monsters! There’s a lot less of the monster of the week situation, this series. I love the care with which the Monster Association goes about attacking. What looked like random stuff (egregiously stretched out by the tournament), will come together to be a coherent and potent threat that will leave us viewers desperate to find out how the Hero Association replies.

The Hero Hunter Hunting Showdown is both spectacular fights and a lot of emotions behind the fights (not just for Garou, but also for Death Gatling, for Bang, for Bomb) and there's just the delicious *schadenfreude* as Garou gets his wish, the monsters show up to claim him... and he hates it. Bye bye Garou, don't forget to write! There's also the pain of realising that despite the heroes' best efforts, the Hero Hunter has escaped. What's going to come back?

And at the end of this season, even though we’ve had a very interesting time of it, none of it will be over. The stakes will have been delineated, the battle lines drawn and I really hope that J.C. Staff does enough to make it clear why we should care enough to come back for season 3 whenever it airs.

#OPM #anime #season 2 #meta #can't wait #my hopes

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metalandmagi · 6 years ago

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January Media Madness

It’s a new year, and yes I’m still keeping track of the stuff I watch and/or read. I really just like being able to keep track of everything that came out during the year, and I like to shout my thoughts into the void. And maybe someone will find something they like.

Movies!

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: Okay, not a movie, but it’s the latest musical from Starkid so I had to include it somewhere. And this time it’s a horror alien/zombie take over that causes everyone to act like they’re in a musical, and humanity’s only hope is an average guy who happens to not like musicals. That may not sound bad, BUT THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS! The plot could sort of meander at times, but it’s hilarious and also pretty dark for Starkid. If nothing else, watch it because Lauren Lopez is a goddess. 9/10

Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Everyone’s favorite silly King Arthur searching for the holy grail story. I hadn’t watched this movie since I was a kid, and there was so much stuff I forgot about! And yeah it’s still pretty great. I do feel like it drags in the middle a little, but I still always enjoy the tomfoolery! 9/10

Three Identical Strangers: A documentary about a set of identical triplets who were separated at birth and the sinister intentions of the adoption agency who separated them. On top of being an interesting story, it is super thought provoking bringing up questions of scientific morality, nature vs nurture, and mental health...which does make it a little depressing. I love the way it sets up the mystery of the story, but it also makes you feel terrible for trying to plot out and guess the story of these actual human beings’ lives. So I’d recommend it to anyone who is interested in crazy stories and scientific corruption! 9/10

Venom: A classic tale of a boy and his symbiote. In which the weirdest investigative reporter in the world is possessed by an alien parasite while trying to stop a corrupt corporation from constantly murdering people. Guys, I originally never planned to see this movie. I never cared about Venom. I was never big into the Spiderman universe, but then this movie came out and everyone was saying how weird it was...and how Eddie and Venom are like a thing...so curiosity got the better of me. And I’m kind of underwhelmed. I think I would have liked it more if I never had any expectations going into it, because it really wasn’t as weird as I thought it would be. The first 30 minutes were a slog, the dialogue was clunky, the plot was very predictable and basic, and I feel like Eddie and Venom didn’t have enough interaction. But it had its moments, I get why some people love it, and I did like what I saw of the symbiote relationship, so all in all it was just..okay. Oh well. 6.5/10

Mama Mia Here We Go Again: The just as ridiculous sequel to Mama Mia, featuring more dumb plots that don’t fit together, more dumb writing, and more over the top performances. Just like the first one, it’s a silly excuse to put some ABBA songs in a movie and make you have fun, and it accomplishes that in spades. Because if you’re watching a Mama Mia movie for the “plot” or anything other than the musical numbers and silliness, you’re making a huge mistake. It is a little clunkier trying to weave two timelines together, but who cares because they’re singing Dancing Queen! As an actual movie, we all know it’s barely passable as a 6/10 but just for getting drunk with your friends and having fun it’s a 9/10

Books!

The Horse and His Boy by C.S. Lewis: The fifth/third book in the Chronicles of Narnia in which a boy and a talking horse run away from the land of Calormen to get to Narnia...and find out about a plot to take over Narnia along the way. I know some people think this is the most interesting book in the series plot wise, and technically there is more plot...but it’s boring as hell. I really think Lewis’s normal interjections would have made it more entertaining, but he doesn’t use his author’s voice at all! Not only is it written in an incredibly circular and drawn out way (some people literally tell stories like they’re writing the bible), but it’s also SUPER RACIST and kind of sexist too. I was so excited because when the book first started I thought we were getting a canonical protagonist of color...and then he turns out to be a kidnapped white boy surrounded by “savages.” Yes we have Aravis...but I really don’t know how to feel about her. Also Bree the horse is really just an asshole, so it’s hard to like any of the characters. I did appreciate having adult Edmund and Susan around though, so it’s not a total waste. The truth is, this is the book that I could barely get through as a kid and would constantly fall asleep reading so I barely remembered anything besides the fact that I didn’t like it. 3/10

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson: In a distant future, humans are trapped on a wasteland planet where their only hope for survival are teenagers flying spaceships while fighting a mysterious alien race. Aka: local girl is constantly dumped on by society and makes friends with a talking spaceship. Okay this book definitely has its problems, but I mostly don’t care because 1. The world building is great. 2. Spensa is a fun main character. 3. All the side characters have distinguishable personalities and interactions *cough* m-bot *cough*. And 4. The plot could be predictable at times but I really liked following the mystery of it all...even if there’s some weird chosen one type of bullshit going on towards the end. It has a major season one Attack on Titan vibe with all the questions about humanity’s history and mankind uniting to fight a mysterious enemy. This is a super fun read that kept me theorizing and was also incredibly motivational. Did I like all of Sanderson’s decisions when it came to which characters died? Hell no. Do I think the government would have a lot more backlash considering its dumbass way of fighting wars? Yes. But I’d still recommend it, and I’m still looking forward to the next book! 8/10

TV Shows!

Aggretsuko: The most adorable musical comedy anime of 2018, where Retsuko, a 25 year old office worker is getting fed up with her job and copes with life by singing aggressive death metal songs...and by the way everyone’s a cute animal. I’m a little late to this party, but this show is so precious and also disturbingly accurate to real life. Retsuko is so relatable, Haida’s crush on her is well executed and not forced, there’s great working women solidarity (Gori and Washimi are the fucking queens of anime side characters) and the metal is so well integrated! Please watch this charming show and the Christmas special if you haven’t already! I NEED ANOTHER SEASON NOW! 10/10

A Series of Unfortunate Events (season 3): The final season of the Baudelaires’ tale of misery and woe. And man did they stick the landing. “But it doesn’t leave things vague enough, they didn’t leave the sugar bowl a mystery.” GOOD! I’ve had to deal with Snicket’s badly written ending to the books since 2006. I love that they explained as much as they did. The ending was bittersweet and more concrete while still delivering the message of how the world is morally gray. Also Quigley was amazing, Sunny was amazing, FERNALD WAS AMAZING! KIT WAS AMAZING! EVERYONE WAS AMAZING! And I almost cried seeing the kids in their outfits from the book covers. I wish Jacqueline was in it, but I think her character would have felt redundant with Kit in the mix. This was an amazing adaption all around, and this season did a great job at putting some of the more...difficult books on screen without it feeling out of place. Even if you haven’t read the books, I encourage anyone who likes mysteries and different forms of storytelling to suffer with the rest of us! 10/10

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K (season 1): Local overpowered psychic anime boy just wants to be ignored and blend in with society, but the universe constantly surrounds him with silly situations that cause him to use his powers. I finally got around to watching this show, and it’s hilarious. Kusuo is a great deadpan main character who is definitely ace as hell, and the English dub is actually pretty good! I don’t really want to watch the show in Japanese now because I feel like the dub does a better job at timing the comedic lines and distinguishing everyone’s thoughts. So now I’m upset that the second season hasn’t been dubbed (thanks Netflix). But yeah it’s a great silly show to binge watch. 10/10

Community: The misadventures of a wacky study group going to the world’s worst community college. You know, the one with all the memes? Okay, I know I’m the last one to watch this and technically I still have a season and a half left at this point, but I thought I’d include it anyway. This show is such a wild ride that I don’t even know what to think about it anymore. The first two seasons were pretty average with a few absolutely brilliant episodes thrown in. And then...the paintball episodes happened, and the show just became amazing. I do have a lot of questions though....like if the main character is a lawyer (sort of), why does he never sue the dean for sexual harassment? Why does Pierce, the resident old, sexist, racist, problematic baby boomer have an “arc�� centered around a logical fallacy. No one wants to hang out with him because he’s terrible, but he’s upset because he feels left out and constantly does terrible things to get back at them? I literally almost dropped the show because I couldn’t take him anymore, and then the writers just magically dial him back in his last seasons...which I’m thankful for. And I don’t even know where to being with Chang. BUT this show is a testament to creative writing and innovative meta ways to tell stories. The rest of the study group is made up of hilarious well balanced characters that all have their distinct broken but quirky personalities. And I love them all...except Pierce. So, even though I haven’t finished it, I’d give it an 8.5/10 so far.

Superstore: A sitcom about the daily struggles of workers in a W*lmart-esque superstore. I finally caught up to it, and it’s still fine. It’s not great, but not terrible either. It is incredibly accurate though, coming from someone who works retail. The best parts of the show are the scene transitions because they show all the things customers are doing in the store. And most of the time I just nod and go “yeah I’ve seen that.” This is one of those shows to have on for the sake of just having something on. It has its moments. 7/10

Honorable Mentions

Because these are the reasons why I didn’t really read much this month...or watch many movies.

YOUNG JUSTICE is officially back with the long awaited season 3. And it’s still pretty great, but man I wish I had rewatched the original series.

Netflix released the Taylor Swift Reputation stadium performance. So now you all know how much of a slut for Taylor Swift I am. I can’t help it if her latest album is basically Captive Prince the musical!

The Masked Singer (US version) is dragging me into a spiral of conspiracy theories. Please watch this ridiculous reality show where celebrities wear elaborate costumes and a super annoying judging panel tries to guess who they are. I’m in hell, because this show is set up terribly, but I also don’t want to leave.

Life is Strange 2: episode 2 was finally released. And I’m actually loving it. These games have a special place in my heart for some reason.

New Super Mario Bros U Deluxe came out and I hate myself for buying these stupid games because they consume all my time, and I don’t even really like them.

#yes i'm still doing this #long post #media madness #the guy who didn't like musicals #three identical strangers #monty python and the holy grail #a series of unfortunate events #venom #mama mia #the chronicles of narnia #the horse and his boy #skyward #aggretsuko #the disastrous life of saiki k.#community #superstore

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reki-rixt · 6 years ago

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Alrighty kids it’s time to talk about Voltron

Ok, so not that I’m not drained of my energy and emotions, I’m here to give my thoughts on the new season of Voltron

I’m gonna do a positive and negative list for this, so let’s start with the positive!

Positive

HUNK AND HIS ARC BLESS

HUNK PULLING THE TEAM TOGETHER YESSSSSS

That Heith hug and that entire scene :’)

Young Keith

YOUNG KEITH STEALING SHIRO’S CAR

Keith’s red lion drawing

All the cadets except for James

V e r o n i c a

Zethrid and Ezor being a lesbian power couple

Klance teamwork

Keith trusting Lance to lead the team when he went back to get Axca

Hunk saying Lance would be the first one to go crazy

HUNK HUNK HUNK HUNK HUN

That Keith and Krolia mother/son moment when Krolia left again (that left me crying for the next 20 minutes)

When Keith and Lance chose EACH OTHER to leave the game show (although I didn’t like Keith’s reasoning, I like to think he just didn’t want to give his actual answer)

Zarkon and his family in the game show ep

LANCE FAMILY REUNION HOLY SHIT THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

PIDGE’S REUNION TOO WOW

Hunay reunion

Hunk’s flashbacks with his family how beautiful :’)

Atlas is thicc

Lance’s sniping was 👌👌👌

Kosmo?? Beautiful, what a good boy

Matt’s hair 👌👌👌

Plaxum’s bakery

Lance looking for that secret passageway

Keith and Lance trying to hold up Coran who’s acting like he’s drunk

Just Coran in general

Romelle??? Love her

The team piloting the lions without actually being in them

Keith’s hair just keeps getting longer and I have now noticed that front bang just drapes across his nose

There were some great things this season, however...

Negative

Adam’s death

I will never be over this and I cried over it for the next 30 minutes. I was really hoping he would live because as far as we know, he is half of the LGBT rep. I get that him and Shiro broke up when Shiro went on Kerberos, but we all know that they still loved each other when it happened and Adam did it so he wouldn’t have to suffer again. It would have been amazing to see the two reunite and for Adam to at least see Shiro and know he was alive.

Lance’s self worth issues never being brought up

In season 6, we see Lance seeming to feel more and more like a “seventh wheel”. Everyone always seemed to push him away when he tried to do stuff with him because they all had someone to be with. Allura and Lotor had each other, Coran and Shiro had each other, and Hunk and Pidge had each other. Lance had no one else to be with (before he had Keith but SOMEONE decided to go off and be with the Blade of Marmora). His issues were becoming more and more prominent and I seriously thought season 7 would be the one where he breaks and these issues were confronted. Instead, it seemed as if in season 7, all of those issues seemed to be thrown out the window, like they weren’t there. They had it set up so perfectly with season 6 and season 7 would have been the perfect moment for him to break, but it didn’t happen. All the build up in season 6 seemed to be for nothing. As someone who has a very personal connection with Lance and sees a lot of themself in him, I want to see these issues resolved and for Lance to stop being known as “the dumb one”.

LANCE BEING CALLED DUMB ABOUT 20 TIMES IN THE GAME SHOW EP

This one made me extremely upset actually. He wasn’t just called dumb once, they proceeded to call him dumb MULTIPLE times. Like, an uneccessary amount of times. I know I have a strong love for Lance, but I would have been just as upset if it were any other character. What really bothers me about this is Lance isn’t actually dumb. Sometimes he doesn’t exactly understand things, but that doesn’t make him dumb. He’s actually pretty smart.

A lot of the last episode felt pointless

I really hope that fight they had with that thing the last half of the ep is important for next season because if not then that was a lot of fighting for nothing. Not to mention I feel that the fight with Sendak was really drawn out for a long time.

Allurance and Acxa/Keith

I’m just going to say this now. I have nothing against you if you ship either of these ships. I don’t care if you like them or not. If you do, that’s great! If not, that’s cool too! I’m not trying to start anything with this, I’m just trying to give my opinion on it.

I’m going to start with Keith/Acxa. Personally, I think there is something bigger going on here. I reblogged another post a while ago about how those two could be related. And I really think they could be. I mean, when we first saw Axca, everyone thought that she was Keith’s mom because of how much they look alike. And they do, they have very similar features. Acxa also looks like Krolia as well, who we all know is Keith’s actual mom. It is completely possible that Krolia had a second child with someone else. I highly doubt it was another human or Keith’s dad, but I could have been someone she met while with the Blades. I’ve seen Kolivan as a candidate, but unless he isn’t Galra, that can’t be possible as Acxa is a half-breed. But seeing as how Krolia fell for someone on Earth, she very well could have fallen for someone on another planet. Either way, it was weird for them to suddenly shove Keith/Acxa in our face when I’m not even sure they know each other’s names and and barely know one another (a reason why I think something bigger is going on).

Now onto Allurance. I’ll be honest, the ship is cute and all, but I have personally never seen them as compatible. To me, they’ve always seemed more as the type to have a sibling-like relationship. As we know, Lance has been pining after Allura for six seasons, but as we’ve seen, she’s always turned him down. Not to mention when the mice told Allura about his feelings, she seemed to be upset, as if she knew she didn’t feel the same. But suddenly in season 7, she’s suddenly blushing around him and telling him to be safe and such. I personally wouldn’t mind this so much if it had been done over the course of a few seasons (as in she slowly developes feelings for Lance) and not so sudden. Allura is an awesome, independent, kickass woman who I personally think would be better off without a romantic endgame (not saying she can’t have a romance because of those qualities, but rather it doesn’t suit her for the events currently going on). Not to mention we were told Lance would be someone’s first choice and he has never been Allura’s first choice. All I’m trying to say about this is it feels forced and I would like it a lot better had it been developed over the course of a few season or so.

Klance seemed to have backtracked???

I’m not saying this as a ship, I’m saying this as their friendship in general. In season 3, they seemed to have this really good bond and great teamwork/co-leadership. When Keith came back, they still had good teamwork and co-leadership skills, but something felt messed up with the bond. It almost felt like Keith was acting a bit like he was superior??? Idk how to put it. Like during the game show ep when he chose Lance to leave, rather than giving a decent answer he just says “I just don’t want to be stuck with Lance for eternity”. That just feels like an answer Keith would have given back in season 1. The only explanation which I can think of that makes sense and could quite possibly be true, is just how we were told when Keith left it left a void in Lance, the same thing happened to Keith. Lance not being there also left a void in Keith and when he was back with Lance, he didn’t really know how to handle it because he has a hard time with emotions.

Also, I’m not gonna put anything with this one but I just wanted to say it: James is still a little bitch

Anyways, so that’s just my opinion on season 7 of Voltron. Overall it really pulled at my emotions (I cried about 20 times) and there were some really good scenes that happened. Voltron has always been about family and this season really showed some of that. There were some things that I would have liked to have been fixed, but I’m still here screaming and crying.

#that picture is even more relevant after season 7 #voltron #voltron season 7 #voltron season 7 spoilers #voltron spoilers #vld season 7 #vld season 7 spoilers #my opinion #wild emo cat talks

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aleatoryalarmalligator · 7 years ago

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Life Story Part 98

Sometimes when Sarah and Zack were gone – Sarah to work and Zack to wherever the drug-winds blew, I would go and sit in the room they were staying in at my mother's until they got home. I am sure they assumed I was waiting for them. I was not. I guess by sitting in the room – feeling the essence of their sleeping little lives in there, I got a sense of how things were now. And I was able to be alone and unashamed and reflect – not even on them anymore, or myself, but what it meant to be a living breathing thing in the world and what people are meant to become and do with their time. I had always clung to other people if I had the chance. Being alone, even when I pushed others away – somehow it had never been a choice of mine. And yet here I was, more alone than I ever had been in my entire life. I felt lost. Perhaps I visited their room in an attempt to find it. It might very well have been intrusive, or creepy in some fashion. I felt like a ghost visiting old friends who had turned on me and murdered me. I thought about painting a picture to symbolize how I felt. I imagined the painting, I would be the dirt. I would be the earth, and the roots would grow from my heart. And Zack and Sarah would be stepping on my body like Adam and Eve, carelessly taking advantage of me. Admittedly, I was indulging the severity of my life at that point, but art isn't that meaningful if we don't indulge ourselves a little. They had intruded on me in some fashion. They took something away from me that I loved. It wasn't them. I have been trying to define it, and maybe I never will.

I worried about forgetting. Because when I contemplated on everything, the loss of my brother, Sarah, Zack, the last years of my life trying to get away from my father and out into the world, I realize that someday the pain I was feeling now that made me aware of what it meant to be alive, well, it would become the new normal and I wouldn't even identify it as pain anymore. It would eventually seep in. I wanted to make sure that when the cement dried on this whole icky life I seemed to be having, that the cement would be the sculpture of something beautiful and creative and meaningful. Just because things had ended badly, it did not mean they were a failure. I was having the thoughts I was having because of the bad stuff. I had to look in the mirror and see myself in a light that people rarely find themselves doing. This is the stuff my life was made of. These were the ingredients I could whip together to create something more beautiful. I could never hide again the same way I had. It was a blessing, and it was also a curse.

When I visited the room, I would write long ten page winded letters to Sarah on her computer, not so much as a means of shaming her, but talking about the stuff that kept me awake at night. Allison was right and wrong in a sense about how she thought I overanalysed Sarah and Zack's relationship. There was nothing to analyze. They were.. stupid. There were was no reason for what had happened. But it had been a poetic fall from grace. If it wasn't so pathetic and embarrassing, it had novelesque attributes. If Sarah couldn't have a real conversation with me about the deeper meaning behind her choices, if she wasn't willing to be as brave as she apparently expected of me, then I was at the very least willing to see if she would engage from a less personal perspective. Some of my letters involved me dissecting lyrics to songs that I thought were amazing. I remember dissecting Arc of Time by Bright Eyes one night, writing fervently till morning about the genius of the lyrics. But Sarah never really reached back, or gave any real indication that she understood. I know she read them, but the letters themselves required something from her that she didn't want to display. It seemed unfair and selfish that on top of losing her trust, I couldn't even feel reciprocal anymore in my ability to share an idea and ponder with someone else about it. It made me feel sickeningly alone.

I ended up reading Sylvia Plath's 'The Bell Jar', and as disappointing and sad as it was to acknowledge this, I felt such a kinship with Sylvia Plath. I recognized so elements of my own life in her story. At the time, I didn't know that she ended her life, and I read so much in The Bell Jar that I related to that when I found out that she had offed herself later on, I wondered if I would someday do the same for myself. Being this kind of woman in the world, was it inevitable that it ended up this way for all of us miserable out of touch women who don't belong? I'd like to think not.

And I found this new band I really liked too, The Dresden Dolls, which quickly became one of my top favorite bands. They are sort of indie pop – but most would describe them as a sort of post punk cabaret. In a way they meant more to me than anything else I ever listened to because they filled that hole in me so recently created by everything around me. I guess I just found them at the time in my life where I felt most vulnerable to the message that was coming across from their lyrics and sound. I sort of fell in love with Amanda Palmer, the lead singer and keyboardist - in the nonromantic sense naturally. She was the most open creature I had ever seen. I felt open now. And I wanted to use that openness to reach out to others. I felt through her music – a much more personal sense that her hand was drawn out to me and inviting me in, in a personal way. It was almost weird that I could have found something so perfect for my psyche at this time. Whereas, with a someone like Tom Waits who I technically love more, I feel like I just walked into a little bar and discovered him – he didn't care if I found him – he was just there. He never reached out to me personally, I just was taken in by the trashy beauty of it all.

Amanda Palmer was about making emotional and meaningful connections with other people. The relationship I had with The Dresden Dolls had an element of the same kind of meaningful connection I wanted to make with people in my life – people I as of yet had never met, but wanted to. I didn't want to feel ashamed anymore. I wanted to be accepted and seen. There was something so theatrical and interesting about taking dark things and finding the light in them, and taking light things and finding darkness in them, and I saw all of this in her music as well. The Dresden Dolls changed everything about me to a degree. They changed my style, the way I did my make up and hair, the way I chose to articulate my thoughts. They altered the way I talked to people, the way I related to the world, my sense of humor, what I found beautiful at the antique store. I realize that music can't replace people, but for what it's worth, it was half way like finding a new friend. In life, it's always important to find your people, so they say. I think in some cases that involves finding your kin in works of art and expression. Sylvia Plath and Amanda Palmer were like sisters who would never really know me, but had given me this gift, this feeling that I wasn't alone or crazy. That what I was feeling was legitimate.

And it was coming to be that a new aspect of my life was coming out of all this sadness. Some of what I wrote to Sarah on those lost nights were was positive in the extreme – and I was chastised by Allison and avoided by Sarah just as much for my bouts of inspiration and exhilarating happiness almost as badly as I was for my bad times. Hidden in all the tragedy and self awareness, this new blossoming power was happening. The chaos had provided the right atmosphere for latent parts of me to come to the surface and be transformed. I could do anything, and be anybody. I was malleable. Just as I had lost some things, it was beginning to feel like I had been baptized into a new and better version of myself. I had vision and direction. I didn't want what Sarah had, or what anyone had. I didn't need to attach myself to a famous musician or be a duo with anyone. I was me. I would look in the mirror for hours sometimes, and become fully aware that this girl was me, and that I was in some ways terribly pathological now yes, but I was complex and human and had this great capacity for visions of greatness and being fully in love in a way that mattered. I would feel this odd bursting love for myself and for the world around me and for the potential of someone that could fill the shoes that Zack clearly couldn't.

Sarah and Zack were faded gray fools dealing with such basic elements of their experiences. They were both wasting away in their own simplicity of wanting to feel good for free. They didn't get the concept of work, what it took to fight for life and really appreciate it. They stole what they had. They were too basic to full appreciate or recognize my vision of a grander picture. I knew from reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', that saying something like this would win me no points, so I tried my best not to look down on them so openly, but it was difficult. Is it weird to say that I was beginning to feel paradoxically about life? I was at times, happier than I had ever been – so much so that I felt this rush in my veins that scared me – like I was free falling. I would take up projects, not sleep or eat, I would laugh to tears. I had found this threshold within myself where a truer me, a less afraid version of me took the reins. I wasn't defined by my imperfect past. I didn't need Sarah anymore. I didn't need the myth of who I thought Zack was. I didn't need to feel strangely ashamed for being an odd girl. I was free of my father's control. I was free of my obligations to my siblings – even though the shame I felt was very real. I wouldn't need to tolerate my mother for too much longer as soon as I moved out. It turns out that quite subconsciously I had blotted out from myself, aspects of who I was that my family and friends couldn't understand and I had done it for so many years that this creature that emerged was this strangely familiar version of me that I had never fully let wander around and take the reigns before – even while she seemed a stranger to what people around me saw as normal. I didn't need to be polite anymore. I could be what I felt – and I could live that truth without considering the discomfort that might cause others. I could be transformed by it, I could turn my sadness into art. I could turn my sadness into several things actually. Everything seemed so connected. Had I ever really been this free?

And then there was an opening at Zany's, and I had a job. It happened very fast. I was sitting either in Sarah and Zack's room or I was crying on the couch and Sarah walked in after working and told me to get ready because I was going in for work that Monday. The son of the kitchen, Jacobi, manager at the restaurant was working as a dishwasher. He was a teenager, and he was one of the best skateboarders in town. He won a competition and started to feel very confident and hopeful to go pro. He quit school and his job, and he decided to move out to Seattle to try and make it out there, which to my understanding did not end up unfolding so easily so he ended up moving back. In any case, he put in his two weeks, which meant that I was now in line to take his place as a dishwasher at Zany Graze.

I went in for an interview. I already had the job, but I was required to meet my new bosses. The first interview was with the general manager, Patrice (some people called her PP, I never did). Patrice was in her late forties. She liked fine boring things that rich people get into, fine jewelry, drinking wine, trips to tourist resorts in other countries, reality television shows where a bunch of identical Californian women try to win the heart and money of a rich bachelor, golfing. With that said, Patrice didn't seem as phased or surprised by lower class values as other women in a similar boat might be. She had a strange toughness to her. She was like a cat, you could randomly rub her the wrong way, or she might enjoy some strange detail in what was said or done. It was hard to say with her. She was a perfectionist, and she did run the restaurant very well. She looked out for everyone. I was nervous going in, but to her credit she skipped any bullshit questions that other places had asked me. She didn't ask me what my passions were, she didn't want me to fake stuff. She asked me why I wanted to work there, and I told her for job experience and money and she told me those were very valid reasons to want to work. She didn't need to hear me go on some monologue about how my passion was dishwashing – never mind I had never had a job before. She didn't want to hear me go on about some corny scheme regarding me making the restaurant better. There was no philosophy to dishwashing, and she didn't want me to pretend there was. This was the first time an employer didn't bounce off dumb questions and didn't expect those dumb questions bounced back with bad answers. She asked reasonable questions about my schedule. About my ability to take orders. Stuff that made sense.

The next boss I had to meet was the kitchen manager, Nicholas. He had a thick Spanish accent which I had troubles understanding at first. He was sturdy and sharp and slightly intimidating. He sized people up in a very obvious manner. It felt like I was being set up for bootcamp or something. I was told later on by people with more work experience that Nicholas was a little bit extreme as far as kitchen managers went. He had an enormous girth of pride, and he if he felt challenged he took offense to it. Nicholas worked so much that he rarely had time to be home with his family, but I eventually learned that he painted these beautiful vibrant colorful desert paintings. They were very traditionally Mexican in a sense, but influenced by the contrasted surrealism of seventies science fiction artwork. I have a feeling that Nicholas was capable of a great many things that he never had time to consider or hone in on. His life was to slave away in the Zany's kitchen, and he had more or less lost himself in his obsessive need for dominance and perfection. Nicholas was made of fire, and he wanted everyone who he worked with to be made out of that same fire. If you didn't react to his demands properly, he would knock you with this iron hammer until you were molten and he would reshape you to fit the mold.

I remember my first day. It was evening and I was scheduled to spend four hours to get a sense of the place. I was intensely nervous. This was similar to the experience I had with Burger King, but different. Once you step into the back of a kitchen, you get this really intense seriousness from the workers that I don't think people realize unless they have worked in a place like that themselves. The kitchen is this highly organized group of scoundrels essentially and for certain parts of the evening at night when everyone comes in for dinner, and in the early evening when people go out for lunch, they have to run around like their life depended on making this food as fast as possible. Food sizzled loudly, Nicholas yelled over people. Everyone was synchronized in the way they worked around one another and together. It looked frightening and insane. It was everything I was not used to. It was highly structured and involved none of my natural strengths. I was intimidated by the kitchen initially. I felt like I had to be a sort of strange food soldier in order to even bring plates out for the cooks, these men of various ages and ethnicity, but who seemed uniform in humorless bloodshot adrenaline based aggressive when they were busy. Looking at the wild chaos of making these meals I felt like I was made of dough. I was part school girl, part dumpling. I didn't have that kind of fire in me. I wasn't pragmatic enough, angry enough, or as certain of myself as I needed to be. I was an idealist, and an abstract idealist at that. The kitchen didn't need the tender bleeding heart of an artist, and yet here I was.

The owner of Zany's was a successful business man in town named Bruce. He was a big tall elderly man with white hair. He owned eight other restaurants in the general area – all of them being successes. Zany's was his most popular restaurant. On a good Saturday he could pull in 20,000$ worth of sales a night. Which, if you know the industry, that is a ton of sales. It was why the restaurant was so busy, and why someone like Nicholas had to be in charge. As it was, there were certain nights of the week where one dishwasher could not possibly keep up with the business so they had to have two dishwashers on. Zany's was the busiest and most successful restaurant in town.

I walked in that night not knowing what to expect. I shook hands with a bunch of sweaty men in uniforms. Some of them seemed like pirates. Others seemed like normal guys off the street. I was taken back to the dish pit where I would be spending nearly all my time. The dish pit served as a sort of hallway between the front where the servers and hosts and customers were, and the back where the kitchen was. In between the dish pit and the kitchen, there was a prep table where a prepcook would premake a lot of the food that would be reheated or cooked later when it got busy. The lighting was strange and intense. The walls were made of strange piping and such that I never fully understood. The dish pit seemed impersonal, part food mush, part stainless steal and part porcelain. Jacobi, who was Nicholas's stepson, showed me around. He put some dishes on this plastic rack. They sort of fit variously on this rack, which I am sure is duplicated and used throughout all restaurants, and then he used this nozzle which power sprayed the food off the dishes into these three sinks, and then I would put it into this intimidating angry hot machine that I was told was the dishwasher. When they came out forty-five seconds later, they were clean, and steaming hot. Then they were to be stacked, and when the stack became formidable enough, you took it to the appointed place, either up front, or to the kitchen. And basically that was the job. You just did that over and over till there was no more dishes, and at the end of the night you bleached the fuck out of everything, cleaned the sinks and emptied the dish machine.

It was sort of nauseating looking at this super repetitive task in this dim/harshly lit corridor of a dish pit where I would be spending a great deal of time. I worried I wouldn't be fast enough. The servers would throw plates of food into this garbage at their area, and this big garbage had to be emptied twice a day more often than not. It was so much food waste. Not only that, but the cooks had to throw out perfectly good food at the end of the night, soup, chicken, potatoes both mashed and baked, noodles, sometimes crème brulee, salads, cakes, gravies, chocolate sauce. The food waste was sickening. Workers were discouraged from taking it home, but nobody adhered to the rule because none of the managers were ever there at the end of the night. People tried their best to take it all home with them – but even so a good portion of it had to be thrown out.

Both of the dishwashers I met that night were not there for the rest of my time there. Jacobi obviously went off to Seattle of course, and the other dishwasher was this short, absurdly loudmouth, and not terribly bright fellow named Anthony. He talked loudly and incessantly. He wasn't very good at his work because he was sloppy and got distracted and sometimes had to be told that he talked too loud. He was offended by how quiet I was – and took it as some kind of sign that I hated him. I think from the start my attempt to joke with him when he got uncomfortable only made things worse because he didn't get my sense of humor at all and took further insult to it, and he soon came to believe I was some kind of enemy of his. Anthony was a recovered addict – and it sort of made sense. Anthony's personality just rubbed me the wrong way I guess. It wasn't so much that I had anything personal against him, he just annoyed me on a basic level the way a fly is annoying. I told Sarah I didn't care for him very much, but when I was told this she explained how he had been addicted to Speed and he had really pulled himself out from nothing and he had come very far, I realized that I was being an unfair snob in my assessments.

I never really cared for Anthony ultimately, but it made me realize something about working with other people, particularly people in the restaurant industry, since the food industry is a place where imperfect sorts flock to in order to make some kind of a living. Often times they are ex convicts and recovered (or current addicts), and due to the extremely corrupt and unfair laws against convicts, it is very hard for them to find work in other places. And even when they seem simple, often times a great deal of them have these intense histories and upbringings. You meet and work with a lot of strange people in the industry, some of them are terrible people, and some of them are heroic in a way nobody will ever recognize, and the funniest people I have ever met have been in kitchens. In the end it's a good take on this strange assumption that you know nothing about someone and that you also realize that there is a universal similarity and trope to many of them.

There were two other dishwashers I was to deal with. Dee and Cain. Dee (real name Delia, but everyone called her Dee) was/is one of the strangest women I had ever known and I grew to know about as much as anyone did know about her over the course of my time at Zany's. Her sense of humor was like someone from the thirties or forties. It was very hard to explain. It felt like she hadn't seen anything modern. She told stories like you were hearing it from someone in a drugstore in 1947. She was extremely thin, reminding me almost like Olive Oil from Popeye. She reminded me of vintage cartoons. She had an IQ of 155, and she was autistic. She had intense mood swings, and when things got busy she had difficulties emotionally handling change. She had a certain way she did things, and the way she wanted to do things didn't work out when the business became busy and she would begin screaming and making howling and growling noises. It was alarming at first. But soon I learned how to help her, to anticipate how she was feeling that day, and to do things around her that made her job easier to handle. To a degree I had been doing something similar with my mother and father for my entire life, and it became second nature for me to step in and assist and notice her emotional dispositions. To a degree, I felt very different then her, but in other ways I think we had similarities. People kind of loathed her fits and her seemingly needless behavior, and I will admit that most places would have fired her. But Patrice liked the idea that she was helping Dee by keeping her on.

I would spend on average, about twenty hours a day with Dee in that dish pit so I eventually learned a lot about her. She was obsessed with old horror movies, like the Mummy and Frankenstein. She loved Egypt and even owned some old relics from some excavations. Her daughter lived in town but didn't visit much. Her son was in the army fighting in Afghanistan. On a good day, she would reminisce about the past. She was functional and normal enough and I think ultimately she had a very good heart, but she wasn't very good at equal exchange in conversation. It was better just to give her my full attention and smile as I listened. She liked to tell me about her husbands, and her childhood, her pets and her children and some of the crazy things she'd been through. She grew up in an abusive home. I could sense the details around her telling me this, but I also knew an abused woman when I met one. There's a sort of defensiveness. You can never entirely get your father's rage out of your head. I think she was probably misunderstood when she was young, suffering from autism and such.

Her first husband tried to cut her arm off with a machete. She showed me the scar. He got a good deal in too – it was nearly a forty year old scar, and still very prominent. I guess he was a soldier and he just went insane one day. He was convicted for it, and kicked out of the military. The second husband that Dee had had died in a submarine due to someone's negligence, and it broke her heart. There were certain nights when I could feel this intense loneliness from her. She missed her second husband intensely. He had been the father of her children and he had loved Dee unconditionally. She spoke lovingly about the time when he had turned their home into Hawaii because she had always wanted to go but they couldn't afford it, so he 'brought Hawaii to her'. Dee had a guarded nature about her, and I think her second husband might have been one of the few people she ever felt understood by. Whenever I felt sorry for myself, I sometimes thought about how cruel it was that Dee had lost this one person who had meant so much to her. And somehow she was here and she still existed to talk about it on weird nights in the dish pit with only me listening. People who dissed on Dee, they didn't recognize what a survivor she really was.

Dee's third husband had been a biker, a sort of motorcycle hog. She had more or less become a biker with him. He was unapologetic. He didn't understand Dee, but he liked her around anyway, and they had both I assumed bonded over a mutual sense of gruffness and ignored the rest. He sounded gross to me, and she admitted that he was a mean old ass, but she seemed to enjoy his existence more or less. He died of a heart attack twelve years previous.

When Dee was younger, she lived in the Southwest, and she made a living making saddles in a small town. She owned a small ranch where she kept miniature goats as pets. She had named them, and kept pictures of her old goats in her wallet that she would show people. It was a running joke in the restaurant, Dee whipping out her wallet to show you pictures of her old goats. She had all these stories about the goats, and some of them I didn't really believe. She said that one of her goats could talk once. I came to understand that it just made a noise that sounded like it was talking. Goats are pretty bright, so I wasn't as skeptical about her goats as some people were. I think she exaggerated because she reminisced so much and it turned into more extravagant tales than they were, and I think she was desperately lonely and wanted people to care about what she cared about. Being autistic, she wasn't good at a certain kind of communication where you share. She couldn't always tell when people were annoyed with her. Dee wasn't that good at outright lying – but she was accused of lying a lot. People would try to laugh with me about Dee, calling her a liar and making fun of her, I suppose because they thought I could relate, and they would tell me they felt bad for me because I had to work with her so often. I didn't like it. In a sense I felt insulted too. Who the fuck were these young girls to get off on making fun of someone like Dee? It was usually the upfront staff that made the most insulting jokes, and most of them were in their early twenties, came from rich homes, were part time students. They assumed everyone came from the same privilege as themselves. Of course Dee was eccentric and it was only natural to get tired of her fits, but she had personality, and ultimately, she was more real than anyone else in the restaurant.

Cain was the other dishwasher. He was the only black guy who worked there, probably one of the few black people in town actually, and I'd say that even though no one outright said it, you could feel the racism off of people in regards to how they did and didn't say things about him. It was hard to pinpoint at times, but the atmosphere around Cain and the way people regarded or laughed at him was racially motivated. Cain was no doubt weird. He was given an honorable discharge from fighting in Iraq and nobody knew why. He didn't seem right in the head so I assume that might have been the reason, because he talked to himself an awful lot and sometimes would say something to me while we were working that genuinely made no sense. It sounded like he thought I could hear his thoughts and was in on what he was saying – so he was just vocalizing that part of what he was saying without need for explanation. I would look at him and smile and nod, and generally that's all I needed to do.

Girls complained about him being a pervert, but I think a lot of it was built around the fear of him being black – and the racist idea that this made him some kind of predator. He was definitely open about his availability to dating, and he smiled and said flowery things to the of age ladies who worked up front occasionally, but I never felt it was out of line or perverted or overly sexual. There was definitely no aggression. He had a thing for Sarah for instance – he told me about it, and he told her he thought her hair was nice or he liked her eyes, but he would never have stalked her or expected anything from her. And he actually seemed hesitant to be in situations where he might be accused of something. He was for instance, hesitant to hand me something one time, because he seemed to think I might be afraid to touch his hand. This was what the body language indicated to me. It really seemed bizarre to me at first, but then, given how people reacted to everything he did I started to understand why he might feel weary, and even have a false sense of needing to cater to and apologize without words, on account that he was black and I was white. Like he had to be sorry if by nature of us working in close proximity we might accidentally bump into one another, which is perfectly normal working in a restaurant with a lot of busy people. It was just one small thing that I realized, and in that situation I think it gave me this overwhelming sense that there was a lot I probably didn't realize about being black. All I can truly say though, is it silently pissed me off when I felt racist undertones in the people around me, and I am sure people would deny the bias was there, but it definitely was.

Cain eventually was fired for turning the channel to InuYasha – his favorite show in the whole world, and eating a slice of cheese cake while he was doing janitorial duties (he was a janitor part of the time). It was technically a fireable offense, but in my time working there I saw other employees do things that were just as bad and not get in trouble for it. I didn't fully grasp why he was fired and I think it was probably because he was black to some extent, but people come and go in restaurants pretty frequently, and Cain was somewhat of an unpredictable sort. He wouldn't have lasted regardless. You can just tell with certain people.

I ended up being the best dishwasher, and I got employee of the month three times for it – which is abnormal for a dishwasher and I was competing with forty five other employees or so. I became the fastest dishwasher that anyone working there had ever had. I was able to work with Dee, which is something a lot of people couldn't do. To me, working became a way of escaping the lonely sick feelings that came upon me at night. The physical activity, the sense of urgency would cloud my thoughts and I would rush around and become a machine in my duties. I had to learn to speak up and say 'Behind You' a lot. Every time I passed someone I had to say it. If I didn't, Nicholas would jump my case. And I guess really it made sense. Communication is very important in restaurant work. A lot could go wrong, even causing injury if people weren't careful. When Sarah worked in that kitchen down in Texas, a woman she worked with had worked in a place where a man had for some god awful reason, stepped into the deep fryer and his skin melted off his lower leg and foot. You definitely have to be careful.

The kitchen guys, when they weren't working, were actually really friendly most of the time. I didn't like all of them all that much. Some of them drank too much, or got pissed off some nights for no good reason. On a good day they would sometimes joke around and sing together humorously, a lot of nineties hits I had long ago forgotten about, only to hear a bunch of silly men singing together. They were all pretty nice to me for the most part. It was so strange to be semi accepted by a crew of people, a bunch of guys no less. I had/have an instinctive weariness around men. I have this sense that they will play unfair or use their power negatively. I feel the need to either get away or be manipulative in order to avoid problems. But for the most part, initially, I was well received. The only other experience I had being in a situation where I was around a lot of people was school, and that had obviously been a very isolating experience – so to suddenly go from being alone all the time with my siblings to now working in this fast paced uniformed environment with a bunch of people I would never have thought I would talk to was surreal sometimes. Work wasn't perfect for me per say. I didn't feel fully satisfied by doing it, and my social life and my depression was what it was. But it gave me this sense that I could work with others, and not be attacked. That being around other people didn't have to be this super negative experience, at least not on every level. That I was on some level – human, at least kind of, and not completely worthless, or some stain on society or whathaveyou.

It helped me focus on myself too. It helped me get out of the house where my mother was, away from thoughts of David's hatred for me, away from Allison, from Sarah and Zack and their stupid thing. I was in a new environment and I was beginning to forge my own life, an identity independent from all of the things that happened to me. Because at the restaurant, everyone had bad luck. Everyone who worked in the kitchen had some sad stories to tell about their parents dying, about girlfriends crushing their spirits, being hospitalized, locked up, beaten, being homeless. Sure they were a bunch of pirates with alcohol abuse issues, and maybe they didn't reflect on life like I did, and some of them weren't even all too great of people. But in the end, pain is pain, and I wasn't particularly special or important in the grand scheme of things. We were all the same in our ability to be broken and hurt, and for many the kitchen was the best economic prospect they had. And that was okay. My sad story was probably a lot less visibly entertaining then theirs. I didn't feel drowned out or forgotten. I felt relieved. I felt cut off from that old identity. Being able to work was all the more helpful in reinventing myself. Because nobody knew me here. They didn't know about my panic disorder or my father or my childhood. I could be anyone.

And as for the work in the dish pit. It was very repetitive, but after awhile, when I became good at it and used to anticipating when things would happen, I was able to tune out. I could be doing the dishes, and running dishes, and working at a fever pace, but be elsewhere in my own imagination, narrating and writing in my head as I often did. I could listen to music, or think about Amanda Palmer or what I wanted to do with my life. I didn't have to be 'in' the restaurant mentally and I didn't have to think about the dishes. I just had to let my body do the work on autopilot. It helped me stay in shape. I lost ten more pounds. I was still pretty pudgy by this time, but I was beginning to definitely show the beginnings of maybe being thin eventually. And seeing all that wasted half eaten food grossed me out and my appetite went down.

To many being a dishwasher probably sounds like a huge humiliating thing for someone with my personality. And of course ideally I should have been put into art school or traveling the world or some other activity that artsy people are supposed to be doing, had the world been a perfect place where we all are born where we need to be in order to reveal and hone our true potential, but life doesn't work out that way. If I had the money or family name or opportunity unfolded I would have gladly taken that up some exciting career of some kind. But the opportunity was slim. At night while I worked in the pit, and as I left the restaurant at the end of the night, I would walk out to the night summer air which has a very distinct scent in Lewiston, and I would feel my smallness against the harsh night sky – all around the business area on the hill there were other restaurants with other people like me in them. I was a small cog, within a small cog, that was in a town that ultimately meant next to nothing, lost in the hills and deserts of the inland northwest was a small cog in the north west. Outside of this area, there were cities like Portland and Seattle, but there was also a world of people who I could meet whom I might fall in love with, or help me grow. There were new experiences in the distance. But right now, I had to become anonymous and work my way up. Nobody knew my name. I was not famous or overly important to anyone. I was just this anonymous girl, and my life didn't have a lot of value in the grand scheme of things no matter how self absorbed I could sometimes be. At the time, being a dishwasher in this lousy restaurant on the hill of Lewiston, it meant a lot despite what I was missing out on – it gave me leverage and agency I had never had. It gave me the opportunity for growth that staying at home and drowning in my sorrows did not. In a sense, it was the last gift that the old Sarah had given to me, a gift that had reached me long after she was gone.

PART 97 - https://tinyurl.com/ybvlfusf

PART 96 - https://tinyurl.com/y8cm6pdy

PART 95 - https://tinyurl.com/ybxq2o5j

PART 94 - https://tinyurl.com/y8k7mwq4

PART 93 - https://tinyurl.com/yc8mae7e

PART 92 - https://tinyurl.com/yb7bwsuw

PART 91 - https://tinyurl.com/yar8e8rp

My Life Story in Chapters, PARTS 1-90 (this link below will lead you to a list of all the chapters i have written thus far).

http://aleatoryalarmalligator.tumblr.com/post/168782771574/life-story-sections-1-90

#text #writing #life story #long text

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recentanimenews · 4 years ago

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REVIEW: Demon Slayer: Mugen Train Takes the Franchise For One of the Best Rides in Anime

A note on safety: The following movie review undertook the strictest of safety procedures to watch the anime film in cinemas in Japan, including washing hands with disinfectant before and after, sitting in seats apart from others, going to a cinema outside of the busy metro area, and wearing a mask during the entire runtime of the movie. We strongly urge everyone to follow the recommended safety protocol in your country and always wear a mask when in public — not just for your sake, but everyone else’s as well.

The much anticipated Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba THE MOVIE Mugen Train anime film opened in Japan last Friday, taking everyone watching for an emotional ride through the next story of the anime adaptation of Koyoharu Gotouge’s record-breaking manga series that ran in Weekly Shonen Jump.

The story of Demon Slayer: Mugen Train continues from where the Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba TV anime series left off. It’s strongly recommended to watch that before watching Demon Slayer: Mugen Train, but in my opinion, the film does a good enough job of bringing people up to speed in its opening scenes that it’s not 100 percent needed. This review will contain spoilers for the TV anime series, but not for the story of the film, so you’ve been warned.

#NEWS Fall deeper into an endless dream with the brand new trailer from “Demon Slayer -Kimetsu no Yaiba- The Movie: Mugen Train" featuring theme song “Homura” by LiSA! The film hits theaters across the USA and Canada in 2021! pic.twitter.com/FkWQNTi2gY

— Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba USA (@DemonSlayerUSA) August 2, 2020

Going into Demon Slayer: Mugen Train, I didn’t expect to be wowed as much as I was. Throughout the entire film, I was shaking my head in disbelief that the team at Ufotable, led by director Haruo Sotozaki, who returns from the TV anime, was able to surpass the animation from one of the best-animated anime series.

I could clearly tell that Ufotable had stepped everything up a notch. The anime studio is known for its dynamic 3D backgrounds, though before now they have largely been used with minimal 2D assets — scenes were littered with 3D assets that, while looking good, were usually masked by filters and effects to give the illusion of 2D work.

Not here.

The opening scene has the leader of the Demon Slayer Corps., Kagaya Ubuyashiki, walking through a graveyard with a background that rivals that of Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away. I was astounded by the level of detail on display. Ufotable’s digital team worked hard throughout the film to combine the 2D traditionally drawn assets and the camera of 3D compositing to create scenes that rival those seen in Violet Evergarden the Movie. But that was only one type of technique used for the background art.

During certain key scenes, the landscapes, such as snow or the sun rising, were almost realistic, giving off the same look like the ending of Sarazanmai, which has some key animation layered over the top of live-action photos/videos. This not only helped the scenes look spectacular but helped drive the emotional intensity of what was happening on screen — but again, no spoilers!

While the story of Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, either in manga or anime form, doesn’t really shake the foundations of action battle series storytelling, what sets Demon Slayer apart from the rest is the presentation, how the story is set out, and the lovable characters. Demon Slayer: Mugen Train is no different in that regard. Throughout the film, the story beats are pumped up by the music, the animation, and the emotional tugs at our hearts watching characters we love go through painful situations.

Demon Slayer: Mugen Train is Rengoku’s story, hands down. Though the anime film does a wonderful job of letting us follow Tanjiro, Inosuke, Nezuko, and Zenitsu, this story was fully centered around the Flame Hashira Rengoku. While we first met Rengoku at the Ubuyashiki mansion in the TV anime, we really get to know him through the story of Mugen Train and see the struggles he went through to get to where he is.

The film does spend some time on the other characters and fleshing them out more, especially through a certain dream sequence, but the main focus was on Rengoku — as it should have been.

In saying that, Demon Slayer: Mugen Train adapts the manga story very closely, which is lucky for it as the story is mostly self-contained, letting it be a good starting point for newcomers to the franchise — though again, I should stress, the emotional impact of the film would be lessened if you have not seen the TV anime series.

For those who watch Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba for the action, you will not be disappointed. Fight scene after fight scene rivals, and sometimes surpasses, that of Episode 19 of the TV anime series. Funnily enough, the film flashes back to the TV anime version of the Rui vs. Tanjiro/Nezuko fight, giving viewers a great comparison of how much the movie has evolved past that of the TV anime series.

While I’m usually a fan of a clean digital animation style, Demon Slayer: Mugen Train differentiates itself from the TV anime by applying a film grain-like filter over the top of the entire film, which only helps in the comparison with the older Ghibli-style films and adding to the older aesthetic of the setting of the franchise.

This is all while keeping the trademark humor of Demon Slayer intact, both visually and through the voice acting. The film is littered with humorous cutaways that can be found in the manga series. One example features Rengoku being praised by everyone else in a cut that looks like it was lifted straight out of the manga and colored. These scenes give the audience some chuckles before the brewing demonic storm.

As seen in the trailers, the team fights a demon named Enmu, who hijacks a train to do their own bidding. The fight between the slayers and the demon was a visual spectacle. Hands down some of the best action scenes in anime ever. Over and over again, the music, sound effects, animation, and CG background made for such a satisfying fight.

Though in true Ufotable fashion, the CG 2nd form of the demon looked goofy when compared to the traditionally animated elements in the scene. The titular train also looked a little out of place when contrasted with the rest of the perfectly polished establishing shots, but as it was dark most of the time it was on screen, it wasn’t as jarring as Enmu was in the lit-up carriages.

The second fight — which had higher emotional stakes, and left not a dry eye in the theater — was nothing but spectacular, though I felt it was a little short. One aspect of the second fight I loved was the storyboarding. The crazy monster of the first fight was gone and what was left was what looked like two, albeit very powerful, humans struggling to kill one another. The demon was nothing more than a man trying to take down a Hashira. Of course, the breathing techniques from Rengoku threw that realistic fight aspect out of the train window, but nevertheless, I loved the human aspect of it all.

Without the soundtrack, from Go Shiina and Yuki Kajiura, who return from the TV anime, Demon Slayer: Mugen Train wouldn’t have had as much of an impact as it did. While they remixed a lot of the soundtrack from the TV anime series — which was great to hear coming out of IMAX speakers — the new music created for the film had an almost haunting feel to it. The music was accentuated with what sounded like gospel singers, belting out hymns as the sun rose on the final battle.

The end credits song "homura" by LiSA was equally as fitting for what had just occurred in front of me, letting me be able to work through what I had just seen as the credits rolled by.

For fans of Demon Slayer; you were already going to see this film, you don’t need me to tell you to go see it. What I will say is that for manga readers — you’ll get a kick out of some scenes in the film, especially the ones teasing what is to come in future arcs. For animation fans, yeah Demon Slayer: Mugen Train is a bit of a popcorn flick, but it’s one that has heart and some of the best animation in anime today, from some of the best creators and teams in the industry.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba THE MOVIE Mugen Train is a wonderful train ride that should be taken when it is safe to do so.

You can watch the original Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba TV anime series on Crunchyroll before Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba THE MOVIE Mugen Train lands in the west in early 2021. The anime film opened in Japan on October 16.

Daryl Harding is a Japan Correspondent for Crunchyroll News. He also runs a YouTube channel about Japan stuff called TheDoctorDazza, tweets at @DoctorDazza, and posts photos of his travels on Instagram.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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nezoid · 8 years ago

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‘Legion’s Aubrey Plaza On The Sequence That Was Entirely Reworked In The Edit Bay’

Well-known for her signature, deadpan delivery and comedic chops in film (Neon’s upcoming Ingrid Goes West) and television (Parks and Recreation), Aubrey Plaza breaks out of a box in FX’s singular superhero series, in more ways than one. Bringing familiar shadings to the mysterious and pivotal role of Lenny Busker—a demented sensibility and taste for mischief—Plaza nonetheless displays in Legion a tremendous range and dexterity, successfully navigating the complexities of a role and a series that demands attention.

Working on Legion, Plaza was given an “overwhelming” and exciting level of creative freedom, playing a critical role in the various looks her shapeshifting character takes on in Season 1, and collaborating closely with directors and choreographers to nail down sequences that were described loosely on the page. Speaking with Deadline, Plaza gives a window into the idiosyncrasies of Hawley’s process, as well as her own process, in approaching a character that is inherently impenetrable, finding her own way in.

Before Legion came your way, did you ever give much thought to the idea of taking part in a superhero series?

I honestly never thought about it that much. I’m a fan of superhero stuff, and some of it’s really good, but yeah. I think I always had fantasies about playing certain characters in those universes. But I never thought about it beyond that, my own delusions, weird daydreams.

What was the process in getting involved with Legion, and what attracted you to the part of Lenny?

The process was interesting because I did not audition. I met briefly with Noah, and some of the producers and the casting director, after reading the script. I thought the writing was really amazing, and I loved the work that Noah had done before that, on Fargo, so I was drawn to the project really because of him.

The part of Lenny was originally written for an older man, so I didn’t read the script thinking about that role. In our second meeting, when it was just Noah and me, he pitched me the idea of playing Lenny and changing it to a female. That idea had never occurred to me when I read it initially, so I went back and reread it, and tried to imagine what that could be like, and what I could do with that, and that got me really excited. Just the idea that Noah would make a change like that, and trust that I could pull it off.

Many cast members were unaware of the season’s full story arc when they set out. How much did you know about your character’s true nature in early talks?

I would say that I knew a little bit more than anybody else about my character’s trajectory. I knew the place that I would end up, but I didn’t know how I would get there. The episodes in between were a surprise for me, and I had no idea what was coming, episode by episode, but I did know, ultimately, what I would become in the universe of the show.

What do you latch onto when inhabiting a character like Lenny, who is intentionally a mystery for the audience to puzzle over for most of the first season?

I approached it like I would any other role, I think. I don’t approach anything differently depending on the genre, or how crazy it is, or if it’s a villain or not. I just tried to focus on the human aspects of the character.

I had to make a lot of choices for myself, and I was really given a lot of freedom to explore, and to come up with whatever I wanted to do with Lenny. I tried to grasp onto the human parts of Lenny, early on.

Really, I kind of created a journey for my character that is fully focused on David Haller. He is Lenny’s everything, so that was my approach: Who am I to David, and how am I going to get what I need from him?

How much did the look of the character inform your approach?

I, like everybody else in the cast, was operating script by script. Once I started reading scenes with Lenny where she’s appearing to David, and talking to him in a different way, I made a choice that I would change my look up, and Noah let me do that. I made a decision early on that Lenny, the human is very different from Lenny, the hallucination if you want to call it that—at least up front.

The creative team was so involved in all of that. I would go into the hair and makeup trailer on my days off for hours and hours, and do different tests on my own with them—different hair tests, and makeup tests, and wardrobe tests—and they were all game.

They were really excited to come up with these different iterations, and they were fully involved in helping me create the different looks. I think that the physical changes that happened really helped me morph into these other Lennys. They all came together in the end, but it was a team effort.

The greatest part of it all is that our leader was Noah, and Noah has certain things that he’s very particular about, but I felt an overwhelming freedom in the creativity that could happen with coming up with the looks, and all of that. It was a collaboration, and I think that’s what he’s really great at, is handpicking artists in different departments that have something to say, that aren’t just doing another job. It felt like we were shooting a movie, and that’s my favorite kind of work.

In moments where Lenny is at the center of the scene, it’s been interesting to see you go off into different kinds of cinematic language. In one episode, you worked with Hiro Murai—a director known for his music videos—on a music video sequence for Lenny.

The dance sequence in Chapter 6 was written in I think one or two lines. I don’t want to misquote Noah, but it was something along the lines of, “Lenny dances a dance of malevolent joy. She rubs her stink all over David’s memories.” It wasn’t spelled out what exactly that dance would be, or what needed to happen, so I was given the freedom to come up with whatever I wanted to do.

Hiro, like Noah, was really open and just let me run with it. I was told, “These are the sets that you’ll be dancing on, and we’ll just take it step by step.” I created a routine with a choreographer who helped me, and just tried to embody what Noah wrote.

The wardrobe helped, and I kind of created the look for that, too, which I thought was really fun and different. Hiro was a great director for that particular episode, because we got to play in a different genre. It was super trippy.

The other major instance is the black-and-white silent film sequence later in the season, where we get to see more of the jerky, unearthly physicality you bring to the role. Was the process with that sequence similar?

What’s so interesting about that is that that was not in the script—that they were turning that into a black-and-white, silent film sequence. That was done in the edit, so all of that physicality was stuff that I had just decided on in the moment. I had no idea they were going to do that. That was a big surprise for me when I watched it, because when we shot it, I’m actually speaking, and it was written as scenes.

Early on, I had this idea in my head—I think it was maybe Chapter 4, when I jumped into the Mirror Room, and I drag Rachel Keller’s character across the floor. I have these jerky movements that are controlling her, so I just tried to keep that alive. That’s another example—in the script, it says, “Lenny kills The Eye.” But it doesn’t say how; it doesn’t say anything like that.

Those were things that we came up with that day. “I��m going to put a fake gun to my head and pull the trigger, and then you guys snap your heads.” That was all playful stuff that we came up with together. That was again a really fun collaboration with the rest of the cast.

And then they just transformed it into a silent film sequence, which was totally perfect.

Does any of the work you put in this season—between the two sequences we’ve discussed—take you back to your early days, honing your craft as an actor, building characters through playful physical expression?

Totally. It felt very experimental at times, and like performance art. We were forced to go back to that place, where we had to use our imagination and just surrender to the playfulness of it all, because we had no idea what was coming. It was a very weird feeling, to not know exactly what we’re doing, but try to make really bold choices. I think that having an improv background and a theater background is really helpful in those situations, because it’s all about the choices that you’re making, and it’s not the kind of show that you can just show up and say your lines. You have to really work, you have to rehearse. There were some times that we would rehearse and block scenes for an hour, which I’ve never done before, when we’re shooting, because normally you just get in there and you gotta shoot. The emphasis was on that, on the preparation and the rehearsals, which is my favorite way to work, so it was perfect for me.

In certain scenes, you’re trapped inside a box—a certain place where David is able to trap you. What was involved in shooting those bits?

I was in an actual box—I was put in a coffin. It was very claustrophobic, as you can imagine. At that point, Lenny was disintegrating physically, so I had these intense eye contact lenses, so I couldn’t really see. I was basically guided into this dark coffin, because I could barely see anything anyway, and then I was just put in there and told to scream and freak out.

I don’t have a problem being in small spaces, thank god. I wasn’t in there for that long. But it was cool. That’s the thing about this show—there were a lot of practical effects, and a lot of things that we actually did, physically. It was physically demanding, but I think the outcome is always better.

What was the biggest challenge you faced creatively with the first season?

The biggest challenge was tracking Lenny at every moment and making sure that I was playing the right version, and that I had all of those layers and motivations alive at every moment. I didn’t want to lose any of that, and I wanted to really honor the script at all times. I think it’s challenging when you don’t know what the next script is, so you can only hope that you’re going in the right direction, and trust the people that are directing you. I think that was the biggest challenge, is just the unknown. It was scary, but I think things that are scary are usually the best things.

Legion has been renewed for a second season. What has been your takeaway from working on Season 1, and what are your hopes for the future of the series?

I hope that it just continues to get weirder and weirder and that they keep pushing the envelope, and they make something that’s even more insane than the last season. My takeaway is that Noah does not hold back—he has a love for his characters and stories in ways that I haven’t really seen before.

There’s a really special feeling surrounding all of the projects that he’s involved in, and I just hope that that doesn’t go away. It’s hard, when you become successful, to hold onto that feeling and keep it authentic and true. I hope that he’ll do that, and I think he will.

#aubrey plaza #evilhag #interview #article #legion #legion fx #lenny busker #behind the scenes

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