#the hot new rarepair
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emmagail-brainrot · 1 year ago
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Thought I moved past my Pricefield phase, but alas it turns out it simply went dormant until I saw these two gay bitches 5 mins into starting The Quarry.
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eorzeashan · 2 years ago
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me looking at people talking about theoretically fucking jadus: that's a lot more than I thought, ok so i'm not the only one
ao3 giving me the 4 fics total in existence:
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wisteria-prince-of-myrrh · 11 months ago
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My Love Is Mine, All Mine
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“Nothing in the world belongs to Hot Pants but one thing.
Or;
An executioner reminds a nun of a single action that crippling guilt can't take away from her.”
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t00thpasteface · 2 years ago
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@fruk-choosing-a-username i am once again casting my rarepair brainworm spells teehee (≧▽≦)ノo .。.:*☆
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the wasteland is a dangerous and unforgiving place so i made sure to give each of them a lunchbox and a teddy bear
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thermodynamic-comedian · 8 months ago
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Whatre your TMA / TMAGP #hottakes ?
oh god now im nervous. putting all this under the cut
simon fairchild is hot
elias bouchard looks like a stock photo business man
helen's more interesting than michael
people who are fixated on which characters a "good" or "bad" kind of missed the point of the show
i really genuinely hope that none of the tmagp characters are just a new version of tma characters. i hope all of them have completely new arcs we've never even considered.
if you take your tma glasses off and observe tmagp from a non-brainrotted point of view, you actually very quickly realize that none of the characters act like tma characters did.
people are weird about og!elias and i hate it
jon is not and never will be the hero of tma
people are boring about ships in this fandom. stop trying to create a ship monopoly and let rarepairs exist
jonah magnus and peter lukas would never ever get married. not for any reason in the world. jonah magnus is a romance repulsed aroallo. i have a whole other rant about this.
people don't talk about adelard dekker enough
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lostsowly · 4 months ago
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Suo & Kiryu Headcanons
Another rarepair has me on chokehold so here we go~
They look innocent, but they are the biggest troublemakers in the group. Kiryu is the one coming up with the ideas, and Suo helps rope the others into their shenanigans (this might actually be canon)
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At the same time, they are the most level-headed and rational ones when needed
Suo’s provocation doesn’t work on Kiryu, but he doesn’t mind it (Kiryu would sometimes indulge him anyway)
As a duo, everyone is terrified of them 
Kiryu can see through Suo whenever he’s trying to be secretive or mysterious, but he doesn’t call him out on it or force him to open up (Suo is grateful for that)
Suo is really good at those shooting festival games and would help Kiryu get the prizes he wants (mostly plushies)
Kiryu changes his cologne pretty often, and Suo is the only person who notices it each time
Kiryu once gifted Suo a pirate cat plushie he found because the eyepatch reminded him of Suo (Suo keeps it near his pillow when he sleeps)
They have this one cafe they go to frequently that only they know about (to spend some time alone)
Suo is not much of an arcade person but accompanies Kiryu whenever he goes because he likes watching him play
Kiryu loves having matching things, be they keychains, accessories, plushies, or anything else. Suo doesn’t wear many accessories but keeps everything Kiryu gets him with the utmost care
Kiryu has a separate photo album on his phone dedicated to Suo
They watch horror movies together
Suo’s love language is acts of service, and Kiryu’s is physical touch
They are so good at secret dating that no one realizes that they are together until they send them wedding invitations years later
Kiryu is sensitive to extreme temperatures so he doesn’t like when it’s too hot or too cold. But, he has started appreciating winters because he can ask for Suo’s clothes when he’s cold and Suo would at times invite him to his house for tea and snacks while sitting under the kotatsu together 
They both hate summers, though
They both know all the gossip in the school and meet at least once a week at their secret cafe to share new updates
Suo loves watching Kiryu sleep (Kiryu is unaware of that)
Kiryu loves spoiling Suo
The first time Suo visited Kiryu’s house he asked him the names of all the plushies he had. When Kiryu said he doesn’t have a name for them Suo spent half the time naming each one. Since then whenever he gets a new plushie he asks Suo to name it
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fuctacles · 5 months ago
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The day Eddie quit his job
Me: it would be fun to mix this months microfic prompt with last years Me: hey I don't have anything for rarepair *proceeds to write CheerScoops for STEDDIEmicrofic prompts*
ANYWAY
for @stevieweek Day 7: Rare Pair + sapphic (+ one + pool) | M | 1111 | Stevie/Chrissy &Eddie, mentioned Chrissy/Eddie | open relationship, streamer!Stevie, FanslyModel!Chrissy, friends with benefits (?) lots of wiggle room for interpretation, CHAT FIC
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Short stream, big announcement!
elderning: is it time????
beatred: Cheer100 this better be about the pool stream
"Chat, chat, calm down, it is about the pool stream." Stevie is rolling her eyes as soon as she appears on the screen. "I had a nice speech prepared and you're ruining it." She frowns, pouting her full lips. "Can you stop yapping for five seconds and let me speak?"
bimbothelotrguy: No yapping
ballstothewall007: Proceed queen
bimbothelotrguy: :x
"So, we recently hit one million subscribers on YouTube, which, thank you so fucking much, holy shit!" She grins. "And, true to my word, I'll be doing a pool stream as promised. Don't know when yet, but stay tuned, I'll give you a heads-up. And thank you again, though I know you had ulterior motives." She smirks at the camera.
mojito_chan: ulterior motives?? us??
mojito_chan: must have mistaken us with a different chat
bimbothelotrguy: BADONKERS
powerdrill1000: message deleted by a moderator
"Yeah, exactly," she snorts. "Okay, I don't have much time today, but there's this one game I want to check out and we can talk out the details while we're at it."
MasterOfChatters: I have a bad feeling about this
Stevie looks at her chat, and smiles.
"Are you high again, Master?"
MasterOfChatters: would you fire me if I was?
"No!" she laughs.
MasterOfChatters: then yes
She leans close to the mic.
"There's someone in your house, Eddie."
MasterOfChatters: FUCK OFF
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big stream big surprise!
beatred: oh
bilbothebimbo: oh no
mojito_chan: I mean...
Stevie's not there yet, but they can see the set-up for today's stream. The pool behind SailorSteph's house is right there. Still behind her house. Still behind the glass door. Behind a huge inflatable pool full of colorful plastic balls.
ballstothewall007: is there at least some water in there?
footjoblover: -slow clap- well played
MasterOfChatters: STEPH YOU MINX
MasterOfChatters: KNEW YOU WERE COOKING SOMETHING
MasterOfChatters: @footjoblover nice nick
SailorSteph: @MasterOfChatters oh I'm not done cooking
footjoblover: @MasterOfChatters thank you good sir
The chat starts flooding after her brief appearance, and her moderator has to put it in slow mode.
"Chat, I'm coming! Calm down!" the microphone picks her up from somewhere in the house, and soon she appears in the camera's view. Her outfit is skimpier than usual, with a tiny crop top and bootcut shorts. She's holding a colourful drink and she steps into the ball pit to settle down.
footjoblover: F E E T
MasterOfChatters: @footjoblover I'll let it slide this once
She sips on her drink while adjusting the stream settings.
"I know some of you might be disappointed..." She skims over the chat briefly. "Yeah, I'm not sorry about that. If you didn't see it coming it means you're new here. Anyway, since you're not getting your softcore fix, I have another surprise for you big babies. We're having a guest today."
ggiirrllss: is it ChiChi???
prawncocktail: please be cheerscoops
bimbothelotrguy: oooo a collab?
elderning: if it's a secret boyfriend announcement imma kms
thepizzaguy: is your hot mod visiting? owo
MasterOfChatters: @thepizzaguy nope, still in my basement. thank you though
bimbothelotrguy: @thepizzaguy boooo sucking up to the mod
MasterOfChatters: @bimbothelotrguy you're just angry you weren't first
bimbothelotrguy: @MasterOfChatters u got me there hot mod daddy
"I'd be angry that I'm playing into your guy's sick fantasies, and I've seen your fanfiction, okay?" She looks straight into the camera, leaning in, eyes squinting. "So don't even try denying. I know what you're thinking about. Anyway, I would be angry if she wasn't such a genuinely lovely person. And she agreed to play with me today."
prawncocktail: SHE
bimbothelotrguy: chichi???
prawncocktail: please be chichi please be chichi please
"Come on babe, don't be shy." Stevie smiles at someone off-camera, and then stands up to help them step into the pool.
"You know, chat..." The mic picks up a new voice. "I've actually been lied to as well, and I flew in here with a bag full of swimsuits." The girl pouts and when she sits down you can indeed see she's wearing a bikini with a kimono-cut short robe thrown over it.
"I didn't lie, you all just assumed pool means water." Stevie rolls her eyes. "Besides, we can still go take a dip later." She sends a suggestive smile to the girl on her left, who takes a sip of her drink and wiggles her eyebrows with a smile.
"I think we broke your chat," she points out. Stevie turns to one of her monitors to see what's happening.
Among the slew of emotes, only her mod's messages can be seen.
MasterOfChatters: CHRIS WHAT THE FUCK
MasterOfChatters: YOU SAID YOU'RE VISITING YOUR MOM
Chrissy, aka CheerCheer or ChiChi, as she's known online, stirs her drink slowly.
"No, I said I'm visiting Mommy." She grins, throwing her long, bare legs over Stevie's lap. Stevie smiles brightly and her mod, who's also Chrissy's boyfriend, knows it's directed at him.
MasterOfChatters: I'm
MasterOfChatters: appaled. speechless. mad.
MasterOfChatters: and so glad I put these fuckers in emote-only
MasterOfChatters: iF ANY OF YOU EVEN SUGGESTS A THREESOME I'M TIMING YOU OUT FOR 24H
emote-only mode is off
footjoblover: message deleted by a moderator
MasterOfChatters: OR A FOURSOME OR IS JUST NASTY IN GENERAL
milkpudding: message deleted by a moderator
milkpudding: I need fanart refs
MasterOfChatters: @milkpudding THIN ICE
Chrissy, unfazed, turns to Stevie.
"One hundred?"
"I'd do it for free." Stevie gives her the most charming smile while idly stroking up her shin. It finally makes Chrissy blush.
MasterOfChatters: GODDAMNIT CHRIS
MasterOfChatters: ENABLERS
MasterOfChatters: @SailorSteph UNMOD ME PLEASE I CAN'T HANDLE THE CHAOS
milkpudding sent $100
"Well," Stevie shrugs, already leaning in. "A hundred dollars is a hundred dollars, right?"
"Right," Chrissy says softly, parting her lips for the other girl to slot into.
The kiss is sweet and chaste, Stevie's hand squeezing briefly her knee before caressing her cheek and letting go. She smiles at her, pecks her nose, and turns back to the camera.
"Hope you got your money's worth, milkpudding. Thank you for the one hundred." She smiles sweetly.
milkpudding: yes thank you!!!
milkpudding: see you in #fanart on discord later! teheheh
prawncocktail shared a clip: CHEERSCOOPS IS REAL
"Should we tell them now?" They share a thoughtful look. Chrissy shrugs.
"Better get this out now before Eds gets a heart attack."
MasterOfChatters: ?????????
"We made something for Chrissy's socials too," Stevie starts, playing with the hem of her friend's robe. "We can't link it here, but keep an eye out in Discord and her Fansly." She smiles at her with mischief before looking back to the chat to see the chaos they've surely created.
emote-only mode is on
MasterOfChatters: GODDAMNIT GIRLS 
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1dcommunityficrecs · 3 months ago
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Rec List: Short Fics!
This month, I asked you for your favourite fics under 5,000 words -- and y'all showed up! We have eighteen amazing quick reads for your perusing pleasure, including four rarepairs and one girl direction. We've got hot smut, we've got aliens, we've got two different soulmate goose fics? I didn't know those were a trope but I love it already.
Please join me in reading, kudosing, commenting, reblogging, and celebrating all these lovely authors capturing so much emotion and story and description in just a few entrancing pages.
Talk Body All Night by Anonymous (3005, Explicit, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: Use of safeword to stop a scene
Hot OT5 smut with Niall as pov. Niall is new to BDSM and he ends up tapping out. He feels frustrated with himself, but his boyfriends are all 110% supportive of his needs and desires.
Reccer says: Excellent handling of D/S dynamics, it deals really well with someone overwhelmed with multiple partners
Louis and the no good, very bad day by haztobegood (4537, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Louis collapses back into the bed with a groan. Just when he thought his day couldn’t get any worse, there’s a fucking goose stuck on his balcony.
Reccer says: Absolutely love the soulmate goose concept! This fic was so silly and so much fun to read!
That’s the way love goes by bella28 (4202, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
In a world, where soulmate geese are sent to the people who can’t figure out who their soulmate is, Harry finds himself stuck with a goose when he is attending a concert of his favourite artist Louis Tomlinson.
Reccer says: This is the first soulmate goose fic in our fandom! And it was an utter delight to read! Thankful to this writer for bringing the concept to us!
Hot to Go! by allwaswell16 (2353, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
When Harry does something weird at the barricade, he leaves Louis’ show devastated and hoping he can somehow make things right.
Reccer says: Absolutely hilarious and charming!
Stray by haztobegood (1713, Explicit, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles) – fic post
Zayn and Harry hook up at a club before Zayn returns him to Louis.
Reccer says: So so hot and dreamy and kinky
Soup, Sex, and Sun Salutations by littleroverlouis (2315, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Louis is bribed with the promise of brownies to spend the summer solstice with Harry in his backyard. Between the special ingredient taking effect and Harry dancing in the sunshine, Louis is overwhelmed in the best way.
Reccer says: This fic somehow makes you feel high without taking any substances. Warm and wonderful.
someday, girl, we’re gonna get to that place by yeah_alright (2912, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Harry's been drawn to pantyhose since he was a kid. If only he could stop taking every snag and run personally.
Reccer says: It's so soft and comforting!
a night like this by momentofclarity (3915, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Meeting Louis made Harry sure she likes girls. Harry's nervous to see her again.
Reccer says: I don't remember the specifics unfortunately I just remember loving it so much!
see or touch or use by jishler (3733, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
He gathered Harry’s hands in his own. “Good boy,” said Louis. He kissed a knuckle and looked up at Harry, who seemed to be drifting somewhere between a haze of tenderness and the kind of arousal that made him shudder, gag, beg for more. Exactly where Louis liked to keep him. He gave Harry’s hands back to him, placing them at his sides.
Reccer says: tender and gentle and HOOOO so hot!
Like You Did Before, Sing a New Song by larenthood (4700, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Louis motorboats Harry on a drunken dare. Harry really wants to do it again.
Reccer says: Intimate and loving!
Feel Your Way by kingsofeverything (3445, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Louis Tomlinson tries to meet some colleagues for drinks and winds up meeting Harry Styles instead. Harry Styles: famous singer, songwriter, and actor, as well as the source material for the folder of wanking fodder entitled “hiddies” that Louis keeps hidden on his laptop.
Reccer says: Great mix of flirting and hotness and humor and surprise
Let's get physical by Kerasines (3500, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Alien!Harry tries to adapt to the strange aspects of the human form.
Reccer says: wonderful exploration of desire
Thesis Management by LadyLondonderry (2600, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Harry's got an assignment due and it's the full moon.
Reccer says: Funny and charming!
Use You As A Warning Sign by jiksa (2200, Mature, Nick Grimshaw/Louis Tomlinson) – fic post
Nick and Louis get trapped in a closet for seven minutes in heaven/hell.
Reccer says: Such great tension and dynamics!
Take Care by everysingleday (4900, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Harry’s exhausted and needy and Louis loves him entirely too much to ever say no.
Reccer says: Tender kink!
Us, Me, We by homosociallyyours (2300, Explicit, Harry Styles/Harry Styles) – fic post
High on shrooms, Harry has an encounter with someone who looks a lot like him, and it opens him up a lot of new perspectives. They're very pretty.
Reccer says: It's a beautiful, sensual self exploration!
Watermelon Sugar High by rosemarianthyme (2200, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Resting right between his legs, the long slice open and juicy and red and his fingers pressed just so, it looked to his wine-hazy brain like a cunt. Like it could be /his/ cunt. (In which Harry Styles fingers a watermelon.)
Reccer says: So visceral and unbelievably hot
To Be Real by Throwthemflowers (3900, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)
Inspired by The Velveteen Rabbit
Reccer says: Incredibly moving. So much beauty and hurt and tenderness packed in.
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a-couple-of-notes · 3 days ago
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I’m curious what makes you ship Rio/Alice (I also love the ship and glad more people are on board)
Oh, boy. Sorry for the wall of text that's about to hit your eyeballs, anon.
First, the main reason is that I love unexplored dynamics. It's more fun for me to write rarepairs that I have to work to justify or understand, that aren't necessarily scaffolded by popularity or a whole canon romantic storyline. Actually, I tend to avoid writing pairings that a lot of other people write or that feature heavily in canon--kind of a strange feeling of "if you don't have anything new to add, don't say it." (Which, to be clear, is not how one has to approach fandom at all. I genuinely enjoy reading my favorite tropes and premises over and over again! I like seeing ten different people gif the same moment! It's just that I, personally, like the narrative space of rarepairs.)
So for me, Rio and Alice occupy that fascinating grey area of having maybe one and a half canon conversations (super rarepair) but also being such strong characters independently that the threads of behavior and backstory are there to connect if you want. (I want.) To wit:
Rio and Alice are two people (person and entity?) whose natures fundamentally oppose each other--Alice is a very mortal protection witch whose natural instinct is to save, to be good, and Rio is the immortal Death, whose job it is to reap, to take, to be villainized. Put them together, and they'll clash in a fun way--especially since, unlike Agatha, Alice is terrible at running away or deflecting. It has the potential to be really toxic, and it has the potential of coming out the other side to actual growth and understanding. (This is what makes Alice so easy to ship/write for me, by the way--I mean, yeah, she's my blorbo, but also her sincerity and instinctive selflessness offer a great counterpoint to, like, every other character. The others, who are balls of lies and deflection and worse coping mechanisms, clarify when placed next to her.)
They also have interesting similarities: they're both bound by duty. Both forced to accept senseless tragedy. Both grieving. Both, in a way, willing to be truthful.
There are so many entry points into it from canon: Rio following Alice through her life via the curse, Alice seeking Rio (death) at some point in her life (which is not exactly canon but you can argue it by...well, Alice's whole deal pre-episode 4), Rio being jealous of Alice saving Agatha (I wrote that one), and of course Rio reaping Alice. Come on. That cheek touch. Like, we saw someone walking beside Rio into her realm, and it wasn't Agatha.
And, well, there's the Agatha of it all. The way I write Rio, you simply cannot cut Agatha out of it. It adds an extra challenge to figure out how Rio and Alice would have a relationship that would stack up in any way to Rio and Agatha's (and what that would look like). If you do it right, it gives extra meaning to Rio/Alice--it's not the destined love, but it's one they had to choose.
And finally, the two other, very shallow reasons:
I wrote a fic about these two, and I put so much of the stuff I like in there that I played myself and got interested.
Aesthetically, Death and her puppy dog girlfriend in a Hot Topic leather jacket? Fire.
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fuckyestherest · 5 months ago
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Creator Highlight Week 11
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Welcome to our Creator Highlight Week 11!
Every week, we’ll use this space to recognize the amazing individuals in our fandom who kindly use so much of their free time and creative energy to share their work with us and bring our imaginations to life via writing, art, visuals, and many other creative mediums. 
This week we want to highlight @thesistersarcheron, a massively talented creator for fic within the fandom. Honestly, we got so many nominations for her that it’s clear how well-loved she is. If you aren’t obsessing over @thesistersarcheron yet, what are you doing?
Her stories have romance, intrigue, plot, and fluff, all while being imaginative, creative, and leaving a long-lasting emotional impact. Her smut is WORLD CLASS. Her nominators (who are all kind and like 70% unhinged also) said the following: 
“I WOULD LAY DOWN OVER HOT COALS SO SHE COULD WALK ACROSS ME TO SAFETY”
“Just say a secret admirer who would betray her country, her own blood, to pledge her sword in her service…”
“I was NOT aware of ACOTAR threesomes before I heard about v&i, and now, holy shit. I think about that fic more than is healthy, if we’re all being honest”
“Everything she puts out is a work of art, and honestly she writes the rarepairs as well as any of the mainstream couples. Everything is immaculate.” 
“She has a real way of really getting the character voices right. I think it’s really hard to accomplish that while still making new scenarios both hot and believable, but she always does a wonderful job.”
As evident from these submissions, she is also a one-of-a-kind creator, and her works really bring out a whole new side of these characters we’ve come to love. Anyone who knows her outside her writing also know what an absolute delight she is to be around, and what a genuinely hilarious and fun person she is, too. 
Your contributions are always fantastic, and we hope to see much more from you for a long time to come!
Below are some of our favorite creations.
viciousness & intelligence | Nessriel
Crimson Clover | Elriel
Breathless | Elriel
Tiger Lillies in the Sun | Gwynlain
To Everything a Season | Casslain
Thanks so much for bringing such incredible, creative, and lovely works to our fandom, and for just being a really wonderful and lovely friend. You’re such a bright spot in this community, and a friend anyone would be lucky to have. We’re so glad you’re here!
You can find more of @thesistersarcheron on her Ao3 and Masterlist!
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neallo · 2 months ago
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29 | she/they | follows from @blondiest
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caard
hi there! this is a sideblog and is also sometimes explicit. minors - please do not interact w/ explicit posts or fics.
historically my tagging habits are inconsistent at best, but i do what i can. generally speaking, you can find answered asks under #asks, original posts under #neallopost, snippets under #my writing, and fanfiction posts / updates under #neallofic.
i write almost-exclusively for mello/near. i write for matt/mello/near on an incidental basis, as well as a handful of rarepairs. all my non-mellonear works can be found here on AO3; for brevity's sake, i am not listing them in my masterpost. i have also listed ficlets (works under 1000 words which do not belong to a series) separately; you can find that post here.
AO3 Collections: (alternative to navigating this masterpost)
neallo fics (but make them non-meronia) neallo yaoi neallo yuri personal favorites
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category: M/M
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series: hot soup on a cold day wammy's era, no kira AU 2 works; 16,395 words
hot soup on a cold day rated T | 15,595 words
“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.
hot tea on a cold night rated T | 800 words
Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”
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series: i want to hold you (hostage) canon-divergent kira investigation era 4 works; 28,790 words
there's nothing i want but you rated T | 1,560 words
Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.
nothing hurts like you do rated E | 3,830 words
Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.
i want to hold you (hostage) rated E | 21,700 words
Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)
love enough to drown it out rated E | 1,700 words
Even when Near is not himself, he’s still Mello’s.
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series: our love is god post-kira, semi-compliant with canon 3 works; 6,125 words
my only one, my smoking gun rated E | 3,275 words
[part 1 of our love is god]
rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k
For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.
heaven is a place on earth with you rated E | 1,425 words
There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.
replication in reverse rated E | 1,425 words
Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.
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series: marital bliss post-wammy's no kira AU 2 works; 4,465 words
engaged rated M | 1,425 words
“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”
married rated E | 3,040 words
Being married to Mello is, Near finds, better than he could have ever imagined. For the last two months, every day has started the same way. He wakes up to the sound of their alarm, surrounded by Mello. Mello’s chest warm against his back, Mello’s breath tickling his neck, Mello’s arm curled around him, solid and sure. Near has to squirm out of his embrace to turn off the clock, and said squirming inevitably wakes Mello. By the time Near has silenced the alarm, his husband is propped up on one elbow, staring. “Get back here,” Mello always says, his voice coarse with sleep and low enough to make Near shiver.
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series: (not so) casual sex post-wammy's no kira AU 2 works; 7,392 words
it’s friday, i’m in love rated M | 2,675 words
Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.
love chained rated E | 4,717 words | chapter 1/?
Against his will, his mind momentarily drifts to Near. He thinks about how Near gets chilled if he isn’t held close enough after he’s been fucked, and how perfectly his body fits against Mello’s own, how comfortable it is to curl around him. It never really bugs him that Near wants to be close after sex. There’s a sort of irresistibility to him, actually, that pulls Mello in— his skin damp and flushed, his breaths uneven, his limbs slack in the aftermath of his orgasm. Near smells kind of nice even when he’s all sweaty, and he makes this happy little sound when Mello’s face finds its way into the crook of his neck, and he’s so quiet and still when he falls asleep that it somehow soothes Mello into slumber, too. God damn it. At the end of the day, this is his problem. He shouldn’t have thoughts this fond about Near; it’s weird, and not at all casual, and if he lets it continue he’s going to completely wreck what they have.
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collaborations (complete)
Minutes to Midnight part 2 of Time Together (2 works; 20,412 words) collaboration with @empressofthewind rated E | 14,865 words
This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.
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Impetus part 2 of Impulse (2 works; 7,360 words) collaboration with @/empressofthewind rated E | 4,888 words
Ten full days after Near had cruelly and callously broken Mello's heart over email— over email, for God's sake— Mello began to experience what could only have been demonic possession or divine inspiration. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and the wishing. -- In which Mello pines and plots to win Near back with a pizza and a few bad lies.
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shot in the dark collaboration with @/empressofthewind rated E | 8,225 words
Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”
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Distraction collaboration with @/empressofthewind rated E | 2,880 words
The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.
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standalone works (complete)
early arrival rated E | 1,570 words
It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.
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untouched rated E | 2,570 words
The storm is the only reason Near is here, and the only reason Mello let him in. That’s what Mello is trying to tell himself, anyway. — In which an old habit turns into something new.
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good boy rated E | 5,356 words
Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.
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THE END IS NEAR rated T | 1,725 words
So here they are now, in the middle of the bible belt with a disposable camera and an unspoken agreement to ignore the elephant in the room. Or— elephants, plural, because there are a whole host of things they aren’t discussing. The Kira case is one, and maybe the biggest, but they also haven’t talked about Mello’s photo or the words on the back of it, and Near hasn’t dared to voice the question that he keeps asking himself: Why am I here?
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better than him rated E | 1,250 words
In which Mello thinks Near has a boyfriend, and Near thinks Mello has an infidelity kink.
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to have & to hurt rated E | 7,000 words
Five times Mello is harsh with Near, and one time he is very tender.
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august 18th, 2010 (two-hundred days) rated E | 1,650 words
Near is sitting in his office. He is sitting at his desk in his office, which is also Mello’s office, because they share one, now. Mello is under two meters away from him, sitting at his own desk and glaring at his backlit monitor like he wants to kill it. This has been their status quo for about seven months. Near knows the exact figure— two-hundred days— but he usually avoids acknowledging that he knows it, even in his own mind. Having this information on hand feels slightly illicit, because he knows the only reason he recalls the duration of their professional partnership with this degree of precision is because of what happened immediately before it began.
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starving rated M | 2,720 words
Near is hungry. No— not hungry. Near is famished. He’s starving. Mello can see it in the pronounced pallor of his face, the dullness of his eyes. In life, he could go for a day and a half without eating and barely notice. It wasn’t good for him, but he could do it without issue. In undeath, he is not so resilient.
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a hard day's night rated E | 2,475 words
Near wakes to find himself in a soft, inky darkness, completely unable to move. His paralysis is not immediately noteworthy to him. At first, as he is rising from the depths of unconsciousness, it strikes him as quite natural. Comfortable, even. With his mind still half-blanketed by sleep, his thoughts slow and blurry, the weight bearing down on him feels almost like an embrace. This thought is what first brings his attention to the strangeness. Physical affection— physical contact, full-stop— is not part of his daily life. The only people who ever touch him are doctors, dentists, and Mello, though Mello only grabs him when he is about to walk through a puddle or into an obstacle, or, occasionally, when Mello is especially frustrated with him. No one embraces Near. -- In which Mello sleepily invades Near’s space, and Near puzzles through both what is happening and what to do about it.
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grand premiere rated G | 1,111 words
Near reaches his wit’s end on a Tuesday in early October. He has been trying to win Mello’s heart for months now, seemingly to no avail. He cannot take it any longer.
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compromised rated E | 2,850 words
The door has only just shut behind them when Mello slams him against it, forcing the air from Near’s lungs in a painful wheeze. Hands fisted in white fabric, he gets right up in Near’s face. It is meant to be frightening, menacing, but more than anything Near finds it nostalgic, really. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Mello hisses. Near blinks, feigning innocence. “Visiting.” — In which Near finds both Mello’s base and a suitable compromise.
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we’ll pretend it ends tomorrow rated E | 5,775 words
“What’s happening?” Near asks. “I’m not sure,” Mello says. “I think we might’ve been kidnapped.” Near makes a soft sound of disapproval. Mello bristles at this, because it sounds like Near is mad at him over their abduction, even though it’s obviously not Mello’s fault. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he reminds himself that Near is probably feeling super-scared and vulnerable, and that, considering the situation, he may not be thinking through the potential implications of the sounds he’s making. He probably didn’t mean for it to seem accusatory. -- A dire situation tests Mello and Near’s ability to work together, bringing out the good, the bad, and the sexy.
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better than revenge rated E | 910 words
“If you ever have sex with Gevanni,” Mello interrupts, breathless and half-insane, “I will literally kill him.”
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slice rated E | 1,000 words
In which Near watches Mello cut fruit and marvels over his tender, dangerous hands.
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come together rated E | 2,175 words
“What,” Mello says, trying for derisiveness again, “are you trying to figure out how it works?” Near doesn’t flinch or falter. “No. I’m quite familiar with self-pleasure. I was just looking.” “Creep.” “I was not the one to suggest masturbating together,” Near says. “And you were looking at me, too.” -- In which Mello and Near touch themselves, and watch each other.
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one in the same rated E | 3,500 words
“Fuck,” Mello whispers. His hands shake against Near’s chest. “Good boy,” Near repeats, experimental, smiling as he watches Mello’s eyes flutter shut again. “The very best.” A small frown tugs at Mello’s lips. Near tries to kiss it away, but it lingers. He still has work to do.
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the frost rated T | 6,120 words
“So?” Mello shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Brushes his wrist against the handle of his gun, just to remind himself that it’s there. “What the hell do you want?” Near smirks. “Who said I wanted anything but your company?” He twirls a strand of hair around his finger. The gesture is so familiar that it makes Mello’s chest ache. “Perhaps I wished to spend time with an old friend. It’s been a long while, hasn’t it?” Mello scoffs. “Oh, is that what we are?” A tilt of Near’s head. His smile skews, bafflingly, a bit more genuine. Bizarre little bastard. “Isn’t it?”
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standalone works (in progress)
there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have rated E | 22,265 words | 6/7 chapters
“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.
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all’s fair in love and war (and this is both) rated T | 15,122 words | 3/4 chapters
Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.
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an unusual proposal rated E | 4,562 words | 2/? chapters
“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”
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15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush rated M | 3,798 words | 2/? chapters
He scanned through the table of contents. Hot Trends to Try This Summer. 20 Best Affordable Lip Glosses. How to Take Care of Your Mental Health in College. None of these were right. Near was not interested in fashion, suspected lip gloss would be unpleasant to him from a sensory perspective, and was already the picture of excellent mental health. He kept searching, a small frown on his face, until— lo and behold— he found the page number he was looking for and flipped to the article that would, he assumed, completely change his life: 15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush.
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a game of chance rated E | 4,780 words | 3/4 chapters
“Um.” Mello wrinkles his nose at the objects in his palm. “What’s the point of this again?” They are standing in the living room of their shared apartment, and also possibly on the precipice of a new and thrilling chapter of their relationship, though Mello is—by design— unaware of this latter detail. — In which Near uses a special set of dice to shift the tides of his relationship with Mello.
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bite down rated E | 2,115 words | 1/3 chapters
When Mello wakes to find his wrist in Near’s delicate grasp, the skin freshly-wet with saliva and blood, the first thing out of his mouth is: “I knew it.” Near— his longtime rival, short-time colleague, and, as of some indeterminate number of hours ago, his most recent one-night stand— lies on the bed beside him, propped up partway, staring evenly. The pristine sheets, arranged over his lower half in an artfully disheveled way, appear almost dingy compared to the sickly-silver glow of his bare, moonlit chest. “Did you,” Near says, mild, curious. “That’s quite strange.” He licks a drop of blood from the sensitive skin of Mello’s wrist, and Mello shivers. A bright wave of static rolls through him at the contact. “Yes,” Mello tells him, hoping the waver in his voice is just his imagination. “That’s— that’s why I slept with you. Obviously.” -- In which Mello makes the ultimate sacrifice to uncover Near’s vampirism and clinch his position as L’s sole successor, and then makes the very same sacrifice several times more, purely out of the goodness of his heart.
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category: F/F
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series: what doesn't kill me makes me want you more wammy's era, no kira AU 3 works; 9,975 words
what doesn't kill me makes me want you more rated M | 6,275 words | 3/? chapters
“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.
clean cut (bleed slow) rated T | 2,000 words
The sting of alcohol is sharp on Mello’s split lip, but she suppresses the wince that threatens to surface. It’s bad enough that she lost her shit in front of Near; like hell she’ll let Near see her look weak, too.
a world transformed (3/3) rated T | 1,700 words
In which a gift transforms the way Near understands the world.
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series: together (always) kira investigation & post-kira 2 works; 7,040 words
i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to) rated E | 3,540 words
Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. --- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis.
it’s you and me, that’s my whole world rated T | 3,500 words
Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”
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series: you got your eyes from the stars 2 works; 2,925 words
starry eyes sparking up my darkest night (1/2) rated T | 930 words
Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.
fireworks somewhere far away (2/2) rated T | 1,995 words
It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.
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series: unforeseen circumstances 2 works; 10,515 words
unknown caller (1/2) rated E | 3,300 words
“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.
unexpected visitor (2/2) rated E | 7,215 words
By the time Mello makes her way to New York and into Near’s bedroom, she has both seriously pissed Near off (by using the murder notebook to kill half her organization) and permanently disfigured herself (by blowing up a building while she was still inside it). She’d imagined slightly rosier circumstances for taking Near’s virginity, but Mello is nothing if not adaptable. She’ll make do or die trying.
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standalone works (complete)
the end of a long winter rated T | 2,025 words
Five years after the end of their relationship, Matt visits Mello in Minneapolis and meets her not-so-new girlfriend, whose face is a lot more familiar than he’d been expecting.
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leap day rated E | 1,770 words
“Just— take my word for it. It’s a thing. The stuff that happens on leap day doesn’t count. It’s like Vegas.” / Near’s brow furrows. “As in Las Vegas?” “Yeah. You know the saying— what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” “But we live in Chicago.” “Holy shit,” Mello snaps, “that’s not the point! The point is— it’s— it’s leap day. We can do whatever. It doesn’t count. Are you in or not?”
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wedding doves & leather gloves rated E | 1,000 words
“Don’t tell me,” Near says, derisive tone tainted by her words wavering. “You want to hear that I’m yours.” Exquisite pain blossoms across her scalp as Mello yanks on her hair. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” Mello hisses. “Answer me. What are you, Near?” “I’m a detective,” she replies flatly. “Just like you are.”
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crying only because i’m happy rated E | 575 words
In which Mello lovingly overwhelms her good girl.
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magnetic forces rated M | 1,250 words
Near and Mello’s flight back from their case is cancelled due to inclement weather. The timing is... suboptimal. In which Near discloses that she’s due to go into heat before they can return to headquarters, and Mello is extremely calm and normal about that.
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standalone works (in progress)
bury us both rated E | 23,438 words | 12/15 chapters
Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.
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category: other
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wrong idea rated E | 2,700 words
She kept flirting with Near. Kept showing her the songs she was working on, sitting close to her on the couch to play her new melodies and try out her latest lyrics. Kept checking Near out in ways she knew weren’t subtle. It was little more than idle entertainment, initially— Near’s enthusiasm was endearing and encouraging, and it seemed sometimes like she might have a little crush on Mello— but it steadily developed into more. And then Mello started pushing her luck. Putting her arm around Near’s thin little shoulders, leaning in to tease her gently. Doing Near’s eyeliner after she complimented Mello’s. Giving Near rides on the back of her motorcycle and stealing candy for her from gas stations. Thinking about Near when she wasn’t around, often, and not at all innocently. Before she realized it, Mello had stopped trying to pick up other girls altogether, even at the gigs Near didn’t go to. She just didn’t want them. All she wanted was Matt’s girlfriend.
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category: M/F
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obedience training rated E | 950 words | 2/2 chapters
When Near first puts the leather around his neck, Mello sort of wants to roll his eyes, but then she looks so pleased with herself that it’s very hard to begrudge her anything.
faded to oblivion rated E | 3.6k words | 2/? chapters
When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.
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i’m your man rated E | 1,825 words | 3/? chapters
Near is an angel, and Mello her dog, a rotten-mean stray no-one else would have kept.
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20 notes · View notes
oceansssblue · 2 days ago
Note
OK SO. RAREPAIR. MY GOAT. Ventress x Hunter!! I love this ship so much he spread his legs to her
If possible, can you make it t4t? Trans woman Asajj and Trans man Hunter? 👉👈
Can be smut! They are so hot together hehe
Soooo... let the rare pairings begin ✨
Hope it was what u wanted!
"NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING"
– ASAJJ VENTRESS/HUNTER 🔥
WARNINGS: TRANS ASAJJ, TRANS HUNTER, EXPLICIT SEX (DIRTY TALK, BIG DICK)
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"This is not what I was expecting when you agreed to come with me" Ventress retorts, voice full of sarcasm, while Hunter tries to catch his breath in front of her.
The leader of Clone Force 99 had been worried sick about the ex-sith's revelation about Omega. She had offered to train her; just enough to grasp a sliver of control of the Force. Just enough to hide herself, to remain unnoticed. Not that the Empire would stop looking after her –not when they already knew the truth–; but at least, her life sign wouldn't be screaming "force sensitive" for those physically around the girl. Hunter had inmediately shot down the idea unless he was allowed to tag along; and Asajj had reluctantly accepted.
Why did she want to help the girl? Well, Ventress knew everything about people wanting to take advantange of a helpless child; about being an expensable pawn in another's game, about families ripped apart. Plus, the Empire would find her someday too, no matter how hard she had been working to blend with the shadows. And for the Empire to be destroyed, there had to be enough force-sensitives –ex-siths, ex-jedis, new force users, it didn't really matter– alive. Asajj doubted the Empire could be defeated without them.
That didn't mean Ventress was chirpy about it. Hapiness just didn't seem to be in her vocabulary; in her range of emotions. Amused, entertained, not sad neither angry? Yes. But never plainly happy. It was just her personality; shaped after a whole life of teachings on dark arts and sith stories.
Surprisignly, her two new companions hadn't been as irritating as she had expected them to be. The kid's bubbly excitement could be tiring after a whole day of social interactions; and Hunter's initial side glances of waryness had gotten on her nerves at first. But the girl had learned when to give her space –it wasn't a difficult task, considering Asajj's sharp tongue– and Hunter... Ah, Hunter had been a very curious development.
Ventress had grown to... Well, perhaps like was too strong of a word, but it admitedly went further than tolerate. The clone was loyal and brave –but not the silly kind of bravery–; measured, always aware of his surroundings, perceptive and plainly hot. That definitely helped. There was a sort of primal, raw and masculine attraction going on for Hunter; and yet he was still surprisignly pretty. Perhaps it was the long hair or the sweet brown eyes; perhaps that narrow waist Asajj had eyed more than once.
No matter how curiously attracted she felt for him, though, Ventress never thought it would end like this; that he would be the one to grow a pair and kiss her. And oh, what a heated kiss it had been. Hunter was still panting in front of her, eyes flickering over her face while he tried to catch up his breath. Ventress had heard him moan low in his throat; felt the shiver spreading through his body when she had all but cuped his ass and grounded against him, letting him feel her bulge. The wide-eyed, confused but excited look on the clone's face had been nothing short of precious.
Ventress walked backwards –eyes never leaving Hunter's– and layed down on the matress of her ship; posture relaxed and tempting. Hunter seemed to be devouring her from his spot against the wall.
"I'm not complaining, though" she finally continued, making a tiny gesture with her head while she added in a sultry voice "Come here and take a sit on my lap, little clone".
Hunter's cheeks flushed a deep red. He hadn't seen this happening either. But he couldn't deny the way his heartbeat sped up when Ventress stepped close to him; or when she hissed a few words as an answer. Because that's how the woman spoke; in sharp hisses and confident whispers. Everything in Asajj screamed power; and that made Hunter's knees weak.
Hunter has always been a confident person himself; used to leading his squad and carrying the weight of decisions and responsabilities. He doesn't really understand then, why he gets so damn shy around Ventress; why his feet shuffle as if he's unsure to move forward. He wants to. He wants her. Why then does he feel so... afraid?
The woman observes him from the bed. It makes Hunter more nervous, but the arch of her eyebrow finally pushes him into action, and Hunter quickly jumps into the matress, one knee going over Ventress's hips and settling almost stubbornly on top of her. He's a sargeant. He has led his team into battle more times than he can count and survived to tell the story. It's just sex with... Ventress.
Ventress, who has a very well-endowed cock by the feeling of it and chuckles at Hunter's obvious reaction; a small whimper escaping his lips while he nervously adjusts on top of her.
The woman's long nails take hold of Hunter's own hips; keeping him in place.
Once again, she smirks.
"Like what you feel?" She asks, though it's nothing more than an observation at this point, really.
Hunter blushes and glances off to the side. Ventress chuckles and grabs his chin; forcing him to look at her.
"For a sargeant, you're surprisingly shy in bed" she points out, smile wide as a lothcat's. "Don't worry, little clone, we can just stick to kissing for a bit".
There's a sort of sarcasm to her voice; but Hunter seizes the oportunity to do something he wants and escape the weight of her stare and dips down to press his lips on hers. Asajj makes a tiny surprised sound, body tensing and coiling like a snake; then chuckles low in her throat and tugs him forward, deepening the kiss. She's rough, teeth nipping his lower lip, all-consuming; and Hunter quickly gets lost in it. His body heatens up; warmth climbing onto his cheeks. He's getting wet, now; and he can feel Ventress's bulge growing hard underneath him, and the knowledge drives him crazy.
He humps forward, unconsciously trying to grind on it; and Ventress groans, lips parting, head falling back to rest against the thin pillow. She studies him with hooded eyes. The clone looks delicious; long hair encasing his flushed face, eyes closed, lips parted while he moves against her. Ventress tugs that gorgeous hair of his back with a pull of her hand; Hunter's spine curving in response. A small moan echoes in the walls of her ship.
"Getting a little desperate, aren't why?" She asks, amused but oh, so turned on, dark eyes heavy fixed on his. "You want that inside of you, mm?"
Hunter's whole body trembles at the dirty words coming of her mouth. A rush of slick slips into his underware. His core pulses almost with it's own heartbeat.
Fuck, yes. He wants that. He needs that. He's so empty, he needs her cock to stretch him, needs to be filled and pounded and...
Hunter whines, and Asajj gives him a wide, dangerous smile.
"Not that I'm trying, little clone, but your thoughts are awfully loud in the force".
Hunter blushes; though it doesn't make much difference in his already redenned cheeks. He looks at her as if he were a lost puppy; needing guidance. Ventress smirks.
"Why don't you take it out, then, if you want it so badly?" She suggests, playing with him, but dead-serious at the same time.
Hunter knows she won't let it slip; and it's less humiliating to admit to his desires directly –instead of trying to resist–. So he swallows his embarassment and shyness down, and his hands nervously tug her leggins and underware down; exposing her erection to him for the first time. It tears out a very audible moan from his throat.
"It's so big" he thinks to himself, but speaks out loud.
It's the biggest dick he's ever seen. Warm and heavy, it rests against the woman's pelvis; almost reaching her belly button. There's a few drops of precum that tempts Hunter to take a taste.
Asajj's laugh break him out of his reverie.
"Take a photo, little clone. It'll last longer".
Hunter tries to be nochalant about it.
"I was just curious. You know, with you being a woman and..." he looks down at her cock again, and Ventress gives him a confident, one sided smile.
"Ah. Well, it can't be that much of a surprise... Considering how you're keeping a very similar secret. Aren't you, little clone?"
Hunter squirms. He glances off to the side, but Ventress "tsks" and he redirects his eyes back to her. He doesn't like talking about this. Hell, he doesn't have a lot of sexual experience because he hadn't wanted to face other's reactions; hadn't known how to explain it. What to do or say. But Jedi magic, right? Or well... Well, perhaps his grinding had made his lack of package obvious. Either way, it's not easy admiting it out loud.
"Why don't you show me?" she continues, encourging him upon his silence.
Hunter hesitates for a few seconds; then he shifts his ways on his knees and slowly divests himself. His shirt is thrown to the floor first; his slightly more rounded chest coming into view. They're not really breasts, at least not a full pair; but they're not completely flat and muscular either. There's some softness in them; and his nipples had always been particularly sensitive.
Surprisingly, Ventress waits patiently as he moves on onto the lower part of his outfit. Hunter is finally completely naked in front of her; and the woman eats him up with her eyes while Hunter squirms in place. Insecurity swims inside of him, and some part of him wants nothing more than to dress up again, but... But Ventress smirks in satisfaction and carefully and very slowly swipes two fingers through his wet folds. Hunter clenches around nothing and moans.
"Look at that" she smiles, desire clear in her eyes. "Who would have thought a clone commander would look so pretty with perky nipples and a pussy crying to be filled. Because that's what you truly want, isn't it?"
"Y-yes" Hunter manages to answer, swallowing his embarassment down.
"Well, well, little clone. We must prepare you for that" Ventress taunts, her hand reaching down to gently stroke her cock twice. "I'm not sure I can make all this fit inside of you. I bet you're tight".
Hunter's mind is swimming in desire. He nods, fingers flying down to his clit inmediately. He does a circular motion one, twice; he's so wet and turned on it feels spectacular already.
"Ah, ah. You're going to cum in my cock and only by what my cock gives you" she stops him, making him whimper and look at her in desperation. "If you're so eager, you can start preparing yourself for my cock".
Hunter throws all caution through the window and dips his middle finger inside of him; the movement eased by his wetness. It's one single finger; and yet he feels so full already. Ventress is right; he is tight. It doesn't help his pussy is clenching onto anything that is given to him.
"Just like that, little clone. Go on. You're a big boy, you can take another one".
Hunter whimpers and obbeys; and soon he's pushing two fingers, then three, in and out of him. They become from being too much to being too little; and he whines gripping the woman's hip with his free hand, asking for more.
Ventress, who has been slowly stroking herself while watching his little show, smirks knowingly.
"Yes, Hunter?"
He bites his lip and squirms. He knows she wants him to ask.
"P-please..." he whispers, the urgency clear in his voice.
Ventress smiles wider.
"Please what? I'm not giving you anything until you beg for it".
Hunter moans and tries to hide behind the courtin of his hair momentarily. The woman grabs his chin and forces him to face her. Her eyes demand an answer. Hunter needs to beg.
"Please, Asajj" he surprises himself with how soft his pleading voice sounds. "I want your big cock inside of me".
Ventress groans, kissing him as a reward and swiftly adjusting their positions; tugging him towards her so that his entrance is hovering over her erection. Ventress holds both of his hips with her hands; gesturing down with her head, eyes locked on his.
"Take what you want, little clone. Sit on it". She orders, the last few words coming out in almost a hiss.
It sends electrifying pleasure up his spine; a tremble that is only replicated when he holds her cock in place with one hand and begins to slowly sit on it.
"A-ah" he whines, the stretch of her massive cock too much for his tight entrance to easily adjust. "V-ventress..."
She hums in delight and holds his hips steady; leading him to backtrack a little before taking more of her length inside of him.
"You should see yourself, Hunter" her voice is temptation on itself. "Looking so pretty trying to take my hard cock in your tiny pussy".
Hunter whimpers and stubbornly pushes down the rest of the way; the stretch so abrupt it burns. He makes a second wounded noise in his throat when he involuntarily clenches on her; and Ventress releases her first pure unadulterated, uncontrolled moan of the night. This is affecting her as well; as much as she's good at hiding it.
"S-so big" he repeats, almost as if he needs her to soothe him, to confirm it.
Asajj nods, answer a little raspy.
"Yeah. I can almost see the outline poking in your belly".
Hunter clenches on her again and looks at her desperately; breath already coming out in agitated pantings.
She reads the overwhelming desire in him.
"Move, little clone. I want to see you bouncing up and down on my cock".
Hunter loses himself on Asajj's hard-on. Though at first it's difficult to mantain a rhythim, the feeling too much, his endless desire and wetness soon makes it easier; and encouraged by her dirty words and strong hands, he moves faster and harder, slamming his own hips down on hers until he can almost feel her pushing against his cervix. Is an alarming situation and a incredibly pleassurable once at the same time.
Ventress let's him enjoy himself for some minutes; delighted to watch his pleasure and listen to his curses and moans, eyes tracking the way his body bounces and how his spine arches, how flushed his face looks. The need to fuck him harder, faster, arrives not too long after, though; and she inverts their positions so fast that Hunter is left to stare at her in shock, weeping cock still inside of him.
"You've had your fun, little clone. Now I get to take what I want, and you're just gonna hold on and cope with it".
It's a warning; a promiss. And Hunter soon discovers Ventress has no intention on breaking it.
She tilts his hips upwards; bends his legs open, and pounds in him so hard and deep a broken moan cries into the silence of the night. She doesn't give him respite, though; she's persistent, set on a goal, hips moving confidently over his and feeding her cock into his pussy one time after the other one. He's so wet the sound is almost embarassing; and yet it still turns him on. Ventress's cock feels imposibly good inside of him; so big, stretching him so wide, reaching so deep, branding him inside, carving her shape out of his pussy, one time after the other one and the other one and the other one...
"Please... please..." hunter cries, real tears in his eyes.
It feels so good it's overwhelming. He needs to cum. He needs to explode and release and please, god, this is so fucking good his brain is going to...
"There, there, little clone. Just take. What I. Give you" she hisses back, punching each word with a snap of her hips.
Hunter feels the orgasm impossibly close. He feels tingly already. He can almost graze it with his fingertips. It feels so good, he's so full, she's so big and...
"I-I'm gonna' cum!" He warns her, eyes shutting down inmediately, mouth dropping in an opent pant.
Ventress groans and pounds harder. She places a firm –and carefull– hand on Hunter's throat.
The man whines. The stars explode.
"I-I'm cum-ing!" He cries out, every single muscle on his body clenching harshly, squeezing the woman's cock.
Tingling spreads from his pussy to every single nerve ending on his body; shivering uncontrollably.
Ventress opens up on the Force; swallowing his pleasure down, making it part of her own.
"F-fuck!" She groans, almost tasting her own orgasm too. "D-drop to your knees, Hunter. Now".
It's not a question. It's an order. It's urgent. Necessary.
A dazzed Hunter rolls over and kneels on the floor; sleepy, satisfied eyes looking up at the woman's figure in ecstasy. Ventress takes a stand right in front of him. She grabs his hair with one hand, tilting his face upwards; desperately strokes her cock with the other one.
"Want to fucking paint your face" she growls, managing to send a last shiver of pleasure through Hunter's nerves. "Want to see your pretty face drenched in my warm cum, little clone..."
Hunter hums and obediently sticks his tongue out; and the sight of it, of the clone voluntarily offering his mouth to her, is what does it. Ventress moans and cums; white ropes of her warm seed painting Hunter's flushed face and dripping down. Ventress caresses the tip against his cheek; then against his lips. Hunter hums and gives her a kittle lick in complete contempt and relaxation. It's Ventress's time to shiver.
"Good boy" she murmurs, energy dropping, falling down to sit on the edge of the bed.
Hunter hums and follows; drops forward, head coming to rest to one of her thighs. He's growing sleepy as well; and Ventress chuckles in what can only be... Well, not happiness, but fond amusement, maybe.
THE END.
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mixelation · 1 year ago
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Sakura/Shisui 🖤🔥
rarepair ask meme
i ship it but i don't think i've read it outside of multi-ship fic!! (like one of those fics where sakura dates every hot uchiha and/or the entire akatsuki, or sometimes in itasaku fics she hooks up with shisui but they're not endgame)
i like shisui but he doesn't reeeally have a canon personality (i know he's in filler episodes, but i was a manga-only bitch for the last half), so i don't have any scenarios i've rotated for this before. mostly my interest is in wanting to see shisui fleshed out more and sakura getting to have a good time, but i haven't put much thought into it myself.
how's this for a fic premise:
you are shisui. you are desperately trying to stop your family from tearing apart the village, and the village from tearing apart your family. everything goes sideways. danzo rips your eye out of your head. you rip out your other eye. you fall to your death.
you break the water. you've accepted this. you've accepted that you've failed. you can only hope itachi doesn't get swallowed alive by the mess you've left him
hands grab you. someone is trying to undo what you've done. you knew they'd try. that's why you had to give away your eye. it's okay, your injuries will kill you anyway.
wrong, bitch, you're going to live!!
some pink haired girl has brought you back from certain death. you know her hair is pink because she has stuck new eyeballs in your head. "hold on a minute," she says, and then gets up to break a tree over the heads of the ANBU danzo sent to confirm your death
the girl introduces herself as haruno sakura, kunoichi of konoha and time traveler from the end of the world
(the eyeballs are sasuke's, which were originally itachi's. don't think about that one too much.)
"we're going to save the wold," she tells you, eyes grim. you believe her, because what the fuck
but first..... you walk home and pretend like nothing happened
(itachi loses his mind. so does danzo, across the village in his office)
"what are you talking about? none of that happened. i was off with my.... new girlfriend. you know how it is."
sakura rolls her eyes but it's a great cover story, actually.
"yeah, he fell in the river and messed up his clothes," she says. "people can't just regrow eyeballs, itachi"
she's really funny, actually. you like her
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arliganzey · 1 day ago
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repcomm ama hell yes! (1) favorite trait you like about zey (2) favorite scene in the books you don't think is mentioned enough (3) controversial opinion you've been dying to spill if u wanna, if you don't, a nsfw headcanon you've always had instead :P (or both!)
Krad thank you for the ask!!
My favorite Arligan Zey trait: I can't pick just one so I'm going to ramble. There is a line that says 'there was a sigh in his voice' and I just feel that in my soul. He's so tired and angry after Triple Zero and he completely loses his shit after Bardan leaves the Order. This scene makes me cackle:
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ZEY SAID OSIK 🫵
and then maybe more importantly, he tears up and cries when he meets Venku. Like okay? So he's a giant softie apparently? That's fine, I can be normal about this
2. There are so many good scenes in this series it's hard to pick just one, but the first scene that came to me is really early on in Hard Contact when Omega Squad meets for the first time and gets their Qiilura mission from Zey and Bardan. Darman is a boy scout and asks a question (because he is a true pleasure to have in class), which impresses Zey. Padawan Bardan is sitting on a crate and it doesn't say he's kicking his feet but we all know he's kicking his feet. Then in the middle of it the Gurlanin shapeshifter starts shapeshifting and Zey completely loses his train of thought. It's kind of a goofy/awkward scene and I love it.
3. 🙈 all right I have a hot take. I reread the scene where Etain tells Kal she's pregnant, and while yes he's an asshole about it, my biggest takeaway as a new parent was: holy SHIT this 60 year old out of practice Mandalorian man just voluntold himself to take care of a NEWBORN and RAISE A BABY. He had three kids and raised the Nulls from very small children, he knows what he's getting into. (Okay arguably as the 'absent father' he may not know what newborn care is like but Mandalorians take childcare very seriously so I'm going to say he has some experience). Fandom/haters really shit on this scene, and yes it's super uncomfortable, yes Kal makes threats (which he specifically regrets later), but what other choice does he have? Etain's not going to leave her post and she's going to have a baby with NO PLAN FOR CHILDCARE.
Which, btw, in the real world is one of my number one sources of anxiety when I hear expecting parents have no plan for childcare lmao
Republic commando AMA all day every day~ NSFW quick headcanons below:
3.5 NSFW HEADCANON(S): Etain is a dom and Dar loves it. Zey is an exclusive top until Vau when he discovers he's actually a sub/switch (dragging my rarepair into the mix here). Throwing a bone to the Maze/Zey ships out there: Zey bottoms for Maze but they switch sometimes OKAY DONE
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danmei-in-polls · 1 year ago
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Submissions Open masterpost
blue for tournaments that haven't been updated in a while, and it's unclear when or if they will be ran
Characters:
Autism swag summit (new!)
Autistic headcanon bracket
Best regressor tournament
Bisexual swag competition (new!)
Character most screwed by writers
Characters who need to be put in the incinerator suggested: old palace master (svsss)
Characters with numbers in their names suggested: shen jiu, yue qingyuan, six balls (svsss), jing beiyuan (qi ye)
Cringefail biromantic poll
Disabled Characters Showdown confirmed: wen kexing (tian ya ke, shan he ling), zhou zishu (shan he ling) suggested: hua cheng (tgcf), zhou zishu (tian ya ke), cui buqu (wushuang), xiao xingchen (mdzs), xue xian (tqks)
Favorite disabled webnovel character suggested: see the list for "Disabled Characters Showdown" above
Favorite webnovel men
Feral MILFs
Fuckable faves
Guy followed around by a Voice
Guys you'd call mommy suggested: shen qingqiu (svsss)
Hidden webnovel character tournament (wn character tournament with voting based solely on ganda)
Hot moms in media
I'd call her sir (horny)
Lied on their resume tournament
Modern webnovel character
Most attractive fucked-up character
Most feral webnovel character (new!)
Most Meaningless Character Death
Pure Beef Bean (as opposed to smol bean)
Queer-coded characters
Revived revenge (characters who were murdered, came back to life, and took revenge)
Smartest webnovel character
Trans webnovel character
Transmigration destination protagonists' showdown confirmed: luo binghe (svsss), baili qingmiao (dvawtk)
Ultimate bottom
Ultimate top
Women with big dicks / BDE suggested: su xiyan (svsss)
Couples / ships:
Fucked-up ships
Toxic Old Men Yaoi
Webnovel rarepair
Groups:
Other:
Anything from any webnovel
Best book to movie adaptation (TV shows included)
Best gothic horror/gothic romance
Leverage teams tournament
Misogynistic Media Tournament
Queer shows and movies (i asked, censored bl goes!)
Webnovel monster (non-humanoid)
Not tournaments:
Are they queer? (similar to 'could x have saved them' blogs)
Are they queerplatonic?
Can they lift Thor's hammer? Could they wield Mjolnir? (different blog with same/similar theme)
Could aromanticism save them?
Could fatness have saved them?
Could lesbianism save them?
Could polyamory have saved them?
Could they assemble IKEA furniture?
Could transition have saved her? (for potential transfems)
Could transition have saved them?
Could transition save him?
Could being trans save them? Did transitioning save them? (different blog with same/similar theme) Are they trans? (different blog with same/similar theme)
Do you know this ADHD character?
Do you know this autistic character?
Do you know this baby?
Do you know this disabled LGBTQ+ character?
Do you know this stuttering character?
Do you ship this queer ship?
Have you read this webnovel?
Is your blorbo neurodivergent?
Is this character aroacespec?
Should they be emancipated? (freed from their parents)
Should they divorce?
The Babygirl Polls
Throuple or love triangle?
Webnovel tournaments suggestions
Would gay sex fix them? (temporarily closed)
Would being different gender affect their popularity?
Would it fix them?
Would you date this character?
Would you punt them into the sun?
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thermodynamic-comedian · 10 months ago
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out of all the tma rarepairs i have written for, somehow jane prentiss x jonah magnus is the one that there were absolutely zero pre-existing fics for on ao3. preaching to an empty crowd with this one. standing on my little soapbox in the town's square, declaring some hot new ideology with this one. but alas the civilians ignore me and keep walking
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