#the horrors have to be real because if they aren’t real then i am wrong and if i am wrong and the horrors aren’t real then-

[seaquestions]

devastating: guy with excessive fear and anxiety is also type of person who doesn’t like being wrong, thus making it so any attempt to alleviate the fears and do away with the horrors will come across as ‘corrective’ !

[ceilidho]

god,,coworker johnny is so fucking good yo i like the fact that you made it clear that his peak weirdness comes out when only you can see it. the first two months with you working together being largely…cordial? no, maybe distant? maybe not in proximity (the guy is practically glued to you at all times), but it almost seemed like he only ever wanted you to see him in one certain way. framed and perfect and wanting. it just seemed, artificial, almost. that might be the word. even back then, you compared his interactions between you and your other coworkers, you could only barely understand that something was off. it was never like he was unfriendly to you, i mean, there were times he’d have casual diagreements with others, his voice dipping low with disapproval with a momentary frown. strangely, despite everything, it kinda relieves you, seeing that johnny can be so normal, but only ever sometimes, and never with you.

no, with you he’s almost too friendly. so friendly that it’s uncomfortable. only ever sweet, so sweet its bordering on sour. in a way, you were convinced that he was just being fake around you, at least before the whole “fleshlight incident”, but not now. not anymore.

its a real shame, because id imagine reader would really like johnny otherwise, as a true friend. he’s sincerely so fun and endearing to everyone else he comes across, you’ll sometimes find him in the break room conversing with a few of your other employees and he’s so genuinely funny and normal, even you tended to enjoy hearing his conversations with others in the background. but then he’ll realize you’re in the room and his eyes change. not just that, his whole posture morphs into something taut and tense; ready to pounce. it has you discreetly shrinking away, trying to get his searing gaze off of you. when it comes to you…theres an air of fevered wanting that only chokes you the more you breathe in.

lmao idk ive just had friendships in the past that were ruined by male horniness so im probably projecting a bit too much and u can ignore if i am but,,,personally im intrigued by the horror of knowing something potentially so meaningful and pure, something that seems to be easy for everyone else to have (true male friendship), has been effectively roadblocked because of lust. good and addicting in the moment but devastating in the long run like a cigarette 😭

HEHHEHEEHHE I’m reading this and rolling around on my bed and giggling, this is exactly the vibe. Poor reader because he really is such a fun guy to everyone else like people aren’t all WRONG in their opinion of him, he really is an excellent coworker. Good sport, funny guy; lends a hand whenever someone needs help. He helped Jeff move, drove Daryl to the airport, looked after Sonya’s cat while she was away.

but yeah :\\\ dude is severely compromised by lust when it comes to reader. Perverts all his good intentions, even before he comes out and says that he’s into her. Every single conversation is manufactured, artificial, kind of masked under his own delusional belief that they’re dating or whatever. He does genuinely like you, it’s just kind of buried down deep, not super important until you’re actually his.

[cardentist]

Context: [Link]

I am This Close 🤏 to saying that jon stalking his coworkers was objectively moral actually.

this is a series where every single main character has killed people and you either die or get turned into a monster or get turned into a monster And Die (in either order). going “but stalking is bad :(” completely misses the point that all of the characters know monsters are real and want to kill them, and in turn have to kill monsters too. that survival in this world means turning into a monster (either literally or figuratively) while still delicately trying to maintain your own humanity despite it.

Yes jon hurt tim and martin’s feelings. Yes that’s important to understand when talking about their relationships. but there was as much emphasis put on the stalking arc in canon because Both elias and the not!them were knowingly taking advantage of jon’s paranoia To encourage that rift between jon and his (living) coworkers And mark jon with the not!them.

we aren’t supposed to take away from that arc that jon was doing a uniquely horrific thing that didn’t fit the situation, we’re supposed to be faced with the fridge horror of what it Means when elias and ““sasha”“ treat jon like he’s acting irrationally By treating it as a normal workplace harassment case. two monsters with the intent of killing everybody else in the room with them insisting that fear of monsters is irrational. two monsters Feeding on that fear and paranoia and anger as they smile and try to “fix” the situation. jon is Right, but nobody will believe him because the monsters are the ones controlling the narrative. That is the dramatic irony.

everybody knows that stalking in real life is wrong, in real life people don’t get eaten by worms in their office. jon’s gonna explode an old man with his mind, It’s Fine, It’s Fine

[tempest-talks]

irl quotes <3

hayyyyyy y’all, i’m back and if you want to see some of my irls here on tumblr C is @some-horse-gurl and Titi is @jarondont

one more thing, if you’ve read these before you’ll have seen E but she’s annoying and decided she will now be ‘slayer of dance’ so keep an eye out.

Me: “baby shot glass would murder the world” lady floutist: “i would thank it”

idk where the baby shot glass came from but i don’t trust it

C: “my beautiful water bottle i dropped down the stairs and hit two children”

C: *southern accent* C: “i don’t know what i did wrong to little Suzie”

C, who is Suzie? we don’t know one

lil miss muffin: “why do they have faces?”

C: “cause some of us aren’t creative” Me: “who’s some of us?” C: “me”

goth leaf: “dude is pizza real food?” lady floutist: “i don't know...i think pizza is just...pizzaaaa”

C: “that’s unfortunately my child” lady flouist: *offended* C: “i love you slightly less than my other child”

C: “i’m sorry but my other child makes my school papers look demonic.”

tomato: “tomatoes go on your shirt”

truer words have never been spoken

C: “what like .01% of the time?” slayer of dance: “No, no be nice” C: “I’m talking about myself” slayer of dance: “oh then carry on”

once again, i present, the ‘married’ couple

Me: “ew leap day” C: “lake be nice” Me: “the last one was in horror year i will not be nice”

C: “that’s too bad because you kiLLED EVERYBODY ELSE”

you believe me if i said this is about the oregon trail?

C: “have any of us died yet?”

again, oregon trail

lil miss muffin: “slayer of dance drowned” C: “YES”

still oregon trail

C: “that’s too bad because you kiLLED EVERYBODY ELSE”

oregon trail!

lil miss muffin: “C are you being greenist?”

watching the wizard of oz with your friends is fun, i promise.

C: “I hate when they describe a place like it’s so old and beat up” C: “I DONT GIVE A FUCK”

C: “my entire family has brown eyes including me, except for my dad like whAT DO YOU THINK MAKES YOU SPECIAL”

i don’t think she likes her dad much

C: “you can’t help people by bashing their head in”

slayer of dance stole C’s water bottle

slayer of dance: “i thought you were gonna say you can’t help people by bashing their head in” slayer of dance: *hits C* slayer of dance: “i think it’s working”

with a paper. i think.

Me: “… and you’ll die” C: “slay”

tomato: “why do i kinda want a lockdown to happen” Me: “because it would be exciting and you could possibly die” C: *gasp* C: “i wanna die”

we are very concerning

C: “when in doubt divorce it out”

Me: “i’m aliv-“ *coughs* *dies*

C: “kindness doesn’t matter” C: “Be a mean person”

lady floutist: “here C, try this” C: “HOLY SHIT”

istg lady floutist carries bricks in her backpack

C: “leave no space for other citizens”

Titi: “i am actually sobbing” Me: *doesn’t look up* Me: “are you sure? that doesn’t seem true” Titi: *offended* Titi: “i WAS sobbing”

she’s reading the oddest because she’s obsessed with Epic: the musical

C: “please just flip people off”

lady floutist: “what’s with all the ruffles this isn’t the 1800s, burn it like the witches that wore it”

goth leaf: “i love witchcraft”

i do too!!!

lovely, this was fun but i shall see you all again in the future, adieu!

[sparkbugs]

My liveblog reaction post for JRWI Riptide 114! :3 SPOILERS AHEAD if that wasn’t obvious.

I completely forgot. About the bastion/stronghold. IF THEY LEAVE THE SHIP THEY LOSE THE TELEPORTER.

Haha! Ha. Wowie this is extremely stressful to start a session Jesus Christ. Pls get good perception AGGG. The laughter but it’s so stress LMAOOO AAAA

If anyone dies this episode! Haha.

How is this all 10 mins into the episode it’s just a terrible chase scene I am so. Aughhh

THANK GOD TBEY GOT TO THE DOCKS. BUT IS THE SHIP OKAY. if the ship fucking denigrates they lose their teleporter man they need that to get home if anything haha! Aggghghsh

The fucking. Fish shoes. Also PORTABLE HOLE LMAOOO

Gryffon :( my boy protect the ship my guy ily

Godddd because of the title I’m so fucking sure there’s stuff about Jay’s family here. I’m so sure there’s lots of things here but it’s so not safe.

Darkness lets gooo… oh.. that audio… ohhhhggg ahhdnjs oh goddddd

“Hello..?” *unimaginable horror response in a roar*

HOW HAS IT ONLY BEEN 25 MINS THERE ARE UNIMAGINABLE HORRORS THIS IS TERRIFYING

Portable holeeeee that’s a smart play, but that’s terrifying to think bout the helmet

“GUYS YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS” “what is it gill?” “Stairs!” “… that’s a ladder gill-“ I love them so much

More unimaginable horror sounds! Oh boy! This is. It’s been 30 fucking minutes.

Oh yucky.. skin… Jesus.. oh noooogghdjhdns

ITS GONE?!?!? WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO.

THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME TO BE ARGUINGGGG AAAAGGGG

I hate this so fucking much actually

The bit shoes.. Charlie please

We have made it 40 mins in let’s goooo haha. Ha!

A GLHYPHHJDHHSHS JAY NO WHAT HEY. FIREEE????? 37 POINTS HOLYYYY FUCKKKKK

HAHSJFHSJAIDJSUHWKS CREATURES THEYRE HERE AND THEYRE ANGRY

Haha it’s all fine now. Also the fucking bones aren’t real??? What. HAHAHAHAJGSIW UH OH BIZLY PLEASSEE

LMAOOO HAHAGGGSHDA THE PARANOIA IS SO FUCKING REAL

HAHSHSHSHA THE FUCKING MICROCHIPS IN THE WATER NOO STOP FUCKIN WITH GILL LMAO

Almost an hour in!! Woooooo! No ones dead thank fucking god

Thank god Chip please make sure no one dies thank u skelly man <3

Floor threeeee baybeee surely nothing happens here. :)

There’s someone waiting for themmmmm hahaha

“Jay can you do me a flavor right now?”

AHAHSHSHSHA WHATTTT WDYMMMM EVERYTHING GULLIOKFNXUSHSO GILLION NOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCKSHAIABA also the last quote being Gillion’s last words man. Yikes

Where is my boy where is my boy where is my boy. IS THAT HIS FUCKING SKIN

ITS HIS FUCKING SKINH IM SO MOT OKAY WHWRE IS MY BOY WHEFE IS HE. GIVE HIM BACK THEY JUST GOT HIM VACK

Haha. I’m fine :) I’m gonna ignore that for now haha cause why. Would that be an issue :)

I’m so worried about him actually. Bring him back

THEY WERE FUCKING EXPERIMENTING ON THE ICHOR. I KNEW IT BUT GOD THE CONFIRMATION IS. UGHHHGHDJSK yea this is such a navy thing to do. Yuck

Oh my god they didn’t see what skin the trition in the ground was. What if that was Edyn. Oh I’m so unwell.

GODDD THEYRE USING THE LEVIATHAN AND THE FUCKING ICHOR AS A SUPER WEAPON. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE NAVY.

NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE YET WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

Chip is so me I would totally. Grab bone pieces. EWWWW WHY MORE SKIN GROSS HOW MANY PEOPLE DID THEY FUCKING KILL

DEATHWARD SAVED THIS MAN PLEASE STAY MY GUY I LOVE YOU. this man is being crucified.. oh my god,,

Holy shit.. Kuba kenta :o is that u bitch

ITS HIMMMM HOLYYYY SHITTYTTT HAHSHSHSHAHA he’s such a bastard but also such a good villain… godddddd he’s just a fluffy guy :3

Mmmmmm machineeeeee

Giving me The Core from Amphibia vibes. This is fucking TERRIFYING. I MEAN I WAS RIGHT HERE CAUSE GILLION WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. PLEASE. GILLION WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. WHY DID YOU SIT IN THE CHAIR

WHWIDUDISHWJDJEIEJAIWHDIRJE GILLION. WHAT THE FUCK. Oh

Oh my god. 0 initiative. Oh my god Gillion please

“I would like to touch myself… and say- there’s more wait” PLEASEEE CHARLIEEE LMAOOOO

AWAAA RUN GILLION RUNNNNNN

“Oh my god, Gillion’s not fast.” HES RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW SO MAYBE HE IS??

It’s totally him right. YEA it’s Gilly :) why hasn’t he told them about Kuba Kenta.

Aughhhhghhfjskb CONDI?!??? LMAOOOO

Why. Are you. I. I despise them so much.

FIREWALL AUGHHGH NOT AGAIN

“CHEEBO” the rest of chips skin is fucking burnt off Jesus Christ

.. oh fuck. There’s more people going in????? It better not be the rest of the crew. INVISIBLITY WENT DOWN IGHDHDHSJS

Bones… gill I’m so sorry man :(

CHIP STOP BEING LIKE THAT YOU LOVE THEM. You love them. They you’re besties.

NATURAL 1 BUT IGS A FUCKING 23 WHAT THE HELLLLLL

Aughhhhhhhh paijnnnm pleaseeee surely nothing goes wrong mannnn what the hell

… conch shell time haha uh oh surelyyyy this will be fine

Jay my beloved <3 you got this girl

AAAA Grandma Ferin… SHES FUCKING CRAZY HOLY SHIT. Vault… time.. oh no. Woahhhh wonder. If that’s the true prophecy in there

CONDI DEAFENED AUGSJHSJGA WHATTT NO BRING HIM BACK OH FUCK

Haha they’re trapping themselves in this room. Uh oh.

OH. GILLION. OH NO. OH NOOO WHAT. HELLO. HEY. Uh oh. Hey. WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK WHAT IS GOING ON

WHERE IS MY FISH MAN WHERE IS HE WHERE IS HE

THE HORRORS ARE THERE THE HORRORS. THATS WBY HE DIDNT TELL ABLUT KUBA KENTA OH MY GOD

…

The sword. Thank god.

PELASEEEE DONT LET ANY OF TJEM DIE OM GONIFNIBSJA GILLIONS GOING GO SAVE HIS FRIEND HES FOINF AS FAST AS HE VAN

JAY PLEASE GO HELP PLEASE FUCKKKK ING HELL

Ichor creature. Godddddd

I don’t even have words this is just combat that’s terrible and I hate it

Aughhdhxhsishdjsn man. People have been so right about how this episode is Bad bad. Like. Wow.

2 and half hours in. Pain and suffering. Please don’t let Chip die again. Charlie did really fucking good playing his doppelgänger without breaking that’s insane.

Gillion’s yelling at each other would be so much funnier if it wasn’t. A life or death situation

CHARLIE SALUTING IM SO UPSET PLEASSESS LET THEM LIVE

YEAHAHAHAHDHDHS GET HIS ASS JAY

HAHA HEY.

HOW ARE THEY TYING IM GONNA CRYYYY

HE WCJDJDSHS HE DID IT HE FUCKING DID IT OM GONAN THROW UP OHHHHGG MU GOD

GILLIONS STUFF FUCKKKKING WAITAAGGG

HAHAHDHSGWGE KUBA KENTA MENTION.

Oh. He’s. Opening. Kubas cage. Gillion. Hey.

Haha they have to go back UP?!? Well. Riptide pirates, it was nice knowing you.

Chip. Can’t be healed I am so upset. Also I feel like the creatures are just going to escape. And Kuba Kenta is going to be Right There.

Dopplegilly you bitch ass mother fucker give my boy back his stuff

WHDIXHSIDHS THEY PUT HIM IN THE HOLE??? Well. I mean. Go off

I hope they don’t fucking fall into the lava. Like seriously after all that.

Well. Gillion. Please let this man get his stuff. WALL OF WATER THANK GODDDD

How is there a half hour left.

HE HAS MISTY STEP. CHARLIE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

I am so. AUEGUESHS THE LIFE DEBT OF DOPPELGILLY GOINF BACK INTK THE HOLE PLEASE LMAOOOO WHAT IS THIS

Please get out of here please just get the ship off the island oh my god

So much murderrr please go n get them and get out im so ahdichdiebz

oh . The fucking. Turrets. LMFAO COUNTER SPELL THE FUCKING ASS TURRETS JDDIDBKS

THE FUCKCONF DECK IM GONNA LOSE IT PLEASE. DONT LET HIM DO THAT PLEASE

WHY NOT JUST FUCKING THROW THE DECK OF CARDS UP. WHY. I’m gonna.

THE IDIOT CARD. OH MY GODDD HAHAHDJDHAUA 3 INTELLIGENCE IM SOGONGNDHSBA

THE VOID. LMAOOOO HES FUCKING GONE THANK GOD. Anyways the TURRETS.

THEY FUCKING DID IT LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

Well. That was. An episode. Well. I can see why everyone was freaking out about it LMAO THEYRE ALIVE THOUGH LETS GOOOO RIPTIDE PIRATES

[quillyfied]

Alright, this is mostly a reaction post to Helluva Boss s2e8: Full Moon, but since I’ve watched the episode three times now and have been thinking about it for the better part of the day…more cerebral than a true reaction, I guess. And not chronological, either; this is divided into two sections, Plot and Feels. Please accept this wild spilling of my guts on this, my first episode since I found the show in February. (Obviously spoilers for Full Moon, but also for Hazbin Hotel.)

First things first: for anyone who hated the CHERUB/DHORKS plot this episode specifically because it distracted from the Stolitz trainwreck, you’re valid, but also, this is QUIET UNDERSTATED HUGE BACKGROUND PLOT CALLING, something that’s been building since s1e3: Spring Broken AT LEAST, and it’s MASSIVELY IMPORTANT, OKAY. I am losing my mind over all the foreshadowing and implications here, folks. And that little interaction between Collin and the rest of CHERUB, where they’re trying to justify their actions and he goes “I don’t think that’s how that works.” GET IT BC ACCORDING TO HAZBIN HOTEL NOBODY KNOWS HOW ANYONE GETS INTO HEAVEN. GET IT. GET IT.

ANYWAY.

My ongoing “IMP and Stolas are in deep legal shit” theory, which I need to condense into one post or tag or something to point at bc there’s too much evidence stacked up now to just summarize what I mean, gets not just more fodder in the form of DHORKS giving CHERUB mech suits that LOOK LIKE IMP, but Stolas outright saying Blitzo can now go about his business WITHOUT BREAKING DEMON LAW. We know that there’s a trial of sorts near the end of the season (or I’m guessing it’s at the end; I thought the fight sequence here was going to be during Mastermind so I’m already wrong on that count), we know Stolas appears to be in some real trouble, and now knowing that Blitzo and IMP are operating on Earth under Ozzie’s jurisdiction, there’s now more at stake for their shenanigans to drag Ozzie into some actual legal shit, not just general classist asshattery for dating an imp. From what we can tell from the trailer it seems like post-crystal IMP is at least trying to go more incognito, though all we have to go on is snapshots from Ghostfuckers, but IMP’s general indiscretion is going to backfire very badly on them, on Stolas, and now maybe even on Ozzie, and I am RABID FOR IT OKAY. CONSEQUENCES?? IN MY SILLY DARK MURDER COMEDY??? UNEXPECTED BUT PLEASE DO EXPLORE THEM.

Also, the sheer horror of DHORKS having a PRIEST ARMY?? The fact that they sent some kids through the portal, that they got EVISCERATED by EYED TENTACLES, and they AREN’T EVEN SURE HELL IS WHERE THEY WOUND UP?? JUST POUR THE FERTILIZER ON MY “ROO EXISTS ON A BOTTOM LEVEL OF REALITY SOMEWHERE AND IS GROWING MORE POWERFUL (PROBABLY THANKS TO THE EXTERMINATIONS)” THEORY, IT’S GROWING LIKE WEEDS. And beyond that, even if this scene doesn’t have more cosmic implications (it does look me in my eyes IT DOES), the basic surface-level plot issues that are going to come from a HUMAN ARMY looking to WIPE OUT HELL is bad enough. But this show isn’t Hazbin Hotel. The stakes aren’t going to wind up being that cosmic and fundamental to existence. If the priest army ever actually makes it to Hell, I’ll be very surprised. What will NOT surprise me is Blitzo facing consequences for his recklessness and everyone he dragged into it with him, because surprisingly real consequences for silly shenanigans has really started to become something I expect from this show as it grows, and I am being FED, alright. Also I’m going full Charlie Day with the corkboard now, I’m aware of that, but I need to get all of this out of the way so I can start to examine the blood spatter of my exploded heart thanks to Stolas and Blitzo.

Because Moxxie says that business is going well for them right now. IMP follows Blitzo to make sure he’s not going to fuck up their meal ticket. IMP is making a MESS of downtown Lust because CHERUBS ARE IN HELL. ANGELIC BEINGS ARE IN HELL. AND ALSO YEAH HOW IN HECK DOES CHERUB KNOW ABOUT EXORCISTS?? Thought they were supposed to be a secret in Heaven. So. Throws the timing of this into question, really. Unless Exorcists are a known category of angel, but their exact duties are unknown, which is likely tbh. But again ANGELS IN HELL AND NOT IN PRIDE GOING AFTER SINNERS, BUT IN LUST GOING AFTER HELLBORN. LIKE. THIS SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY BIG DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT ACTUALLY. Y’know. If it wasn’t just cherubs and imps and anybody actually cared outside of the massive property damage. The crystal is already registered to Blitzo at this point, even if he doesn’t have it yet…look I’m gonna be spinning my wheels about this for a while, let me have this.

(…why do they have Mothman in a demonic containment cell.)

(and something with a lot of tentacles)

(how many cryptids are in this place??? LET THEM OUT)

Now where in the several planes of reality did they get an extradimensional portal generator? Like, I know that of all things THIS is probably not gonna get explained and I’m okay with that, but I’m deeply curious about how they developed this technology. Still holding to my theory that Stolas’ summoning of himself might have had something to do with it, but for now it’s unclear.

Also the American-centrism of it all. The layers of fourth-wall sarcasm are STIFLING.

And Collin. I see your continued reluctance and horror. I hope you get your vindication. Though it is interesting that even though he’s clearly scared out of his mind, he does still manage to hurt Loona. He had a clear shot on Blitzo but hesitates. He is dragging his feet every inch he can muster in his Moxxie suit. He can’t even fly like the other two can. Collin is a sore thumb in about every way he can be during this episode. I want that payoff. I want it bad.

You know what else I want bad? An explanation of what Cherub Towne and Heaven in general is really like, if these dweebs don’t know what sex shops or a club is. Sex shop, I kinda get, given their and Vaggie’s reaction to BDMS gear, Heaven being prudish seems like a fair assumption to make. But. Heaven doesn’t have CLUBS? And Adam was OKAY WITH THAT?? Boggles the mind, I tell you. Boggles.

(…maybe it was just a budget issue but I do wonder at how none of the Cherubs had gold blood anywhere. Plenty of bruises, but Moxxie and Millie and Loona all got stabbed, shot, or bruised enough to show plenty of black blood. CHERUB got their asses kicked just as hard, but no gold blood? Could be time and budget issues. Could be…something else. I’ve got my eye on you, Helluva Boss.)

Because I think I’m more or less done now…and it’s time to get to the main event:

I have been purposely avoiding any footage or sound of the duet until this moment. And I am SO GLAD I DID, because When I See Him Tonight is a TREASURE, a MASTER CLASS in both recap and foreshadowing. Because it’s the summary of Everything Wrong Up Until This Point, and a blueprint for How It Will Go Wrong Shortly. Because, I want to point this out up front: nothing that happens in this episode between Blitzo and Stolas is a surprise. Nothing said, nothing done—none of this is a surprise. To us. The audience. The ones not just watching them both go through this, but chewing the plot down to the marrow for meaning, interpreting based on our understanding of the characters and world, extrapolating, iterating, writing so many of our own theories and fics about how this moment would go that the fact that it plays out pretty much true to the tone we were predicting makes it all the more satisfying. Or it does for me, anyway; let me not accidentally speak for more than just myself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s such a RELIEF, honestly. It’s a necessary breaking down, burning away what wasn’t working and was actively hurting them both to start the hard work of rebuilding. THIS has been building since s1e1, THIS has been the emotional heart of the show, and watching it reach a breaking point is DELICIOUS.

The buildup is so perfect, too: Blitzo is having a good day. Blitzo NEVER has good days. Blitzo’s good days get dunked straight into the toilet, either because of his own actions or because the universe (or his subconscious) can’t let him have nice things. Juxtapose that with Stolas’ nerves, the knowing that he’s going to do something that will change the nature of their relationship, and while we know it’s necessary, Blitzo making the active choice to ignore the storm he can feel coming in favor of fixing it with sex (GREAT sex, mind, sex that he has every intention of making good for both of them; I want to stress very much that while Stolas and Blitzo are ill-equipped to talk to each other in emotionally vulnerable ways, their sexual compatibility appears to be solid as ever, so good for them)…it just makes Stolas’ anxiety (AND APPARENTLY NOT BEING ON HIS MEDS SOMEONE HELP THIS BIRD MAN) that much more sharp in comparison. It is a perfect teeing up of a golf shot that’s going straight through someone’s windows and causing thousands of dollars in property damage.

…and dear sweet Loona, who isn’t exactly wrong but isn’t exactly right either, pouring gasoline on this situation and activating Blitzo’s already-awakened anxiety about his and Stolas’ relationship is just. Mwah. Perfect. Cherry on top of this shit sundae. The last perfect condition to make this a supercell feels tornado. LET’S DO THIS.

(Side note but exactly how much money did Blitzo spend on his bag of tricks because YOWZA, does he go throwing around a sack about as big as the one he tossed down to his dad full of stolen stuff back in s2e1.)

HEY BLITZO AND FIZZ FRIENDSHIP HANG ON LET ME BASK. Especially at how effortlessly flirty and touchy they are with each other, that’s just a really nice touch for both of them (pun not intended). Also the fact that Blitzo is VERY CONFIDENT that Stolas is into the Dragon Driller 5000 raises some…questions. I will file them along with the questions I have about Stolas’ lack of reaction to getting his leg snapped and then stabbed in Western Energy.

(CLOACA MENTION)

Right off the bat the tension in this scene is unbearable. There’s the real-world tension of having waited for this moment for literal months. There’s the in-universe tension of Stolas being nervous about what he’s about to do. There’s the in-universe tension of Blitzo hoping things just go back to normal and being excited about that. There’s the dramatic irony of the audience knowing this is about to fall to shit and neither of these chuckleheads being fully aware of what exactly the other guy is about to do, compounding with the underlying cracks that they are BOTH feeling in their relationship and are BOTH very insecure about. But there’s a special sort of pain in seeing Blitzo so excited and trying so hard to get Stolas excited too and it just not working, because it’s the exact opposite of their usual dynamic. The script has flipped, for some reason.

For SOME reason. Ha. As if the miscommunication horse wasn’t galloping as fast as she could FROM THE START OF THE EPISODE.

I want to stress here that this mess of a situation that Blitzo and Stolas are in doesn’t have fault or blame in it. Or, rather, it’s a mutually-created tar pit of both of their mistakes and assumptions and hurts. They’re BOTH at fault, they are BOTH to blame, and in a way, neither of them are, either. This is the ugly truth of damage scraping damage: more often than not…it causes MORE damage. Blitzo and Stolas could be really good for each other, but they have to clear away the blockages first, and that can be really painful, especially when Blitzo’s self-hatred and Stolas’ self-hatred causes them both to misinterpret each other in the worst possible ways that reinforces those self-hatreds. The ways that this show hammers home how destructive self-hatred can be is COMING FOR MY ASS, OKAY. I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT IT THAT I’M NOT SURE I CAN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT COHERENTLY.

Look, so many people are going to say it so much better, are going to analyze the ways that Stolas and Blitzo are talking past each other, but saying what they individually need to in order to start that necessary brush fire is what we all knew was coming. Stolitz isn’t going to get together this season, not with how much work they both need to put into themselves first. Blitzo has to want to be better for HIMSELF, not just for Stolas, not just for Loona, not just for all the friends he has and once had. Stolas has to learn who HE is, not as a parent or a husband or a lover, but as a person. The nuanced truth to “you can’t love someone until you love yourself” is “you accept the love you think you deserve,” and right now neither one of these poor bitches is in a place to accept the love they want to give each other. Blitzo isn’t even in a place to acknowledge that what HE feels is love, let alone that what STOLAS feels is love. He’s still in a world where his love spells disaster for everyone close to him. Reconciling with Fizz has started the hard work of dismantling that view of himself, but Blitzo isn’t ready yet, and he needs time to think and process. Stolas is so ready to begin his life at last that it doesn’t occur to him that Blitzo hasn’t been really hearing him or understanding his overtures and teasing (or that his overtures and teasing have often been classist AF, reinforcing Blitzo’s belief in Stolas’ view of him as a toy and not a person). I think given time, maybe what they’ve each been saying to each other in this scene will hit. But in the moment, oh my WORD it's a trash fire, the prophecy of the duet come to pass in glorious HD.

Side note to talk about how it looks like everything in Stolas’ house is covered, as if Stolas is leaving: HEY WTF??? Like on the one hand oh my LORD ABOVE, the parallels of Stolas covering himself up in portraits but leaving Via uncovered to Blitzo scribbling himself out of pictures. On the other hand, WHERE IS HE GOING?? Like. Drop cloths are used to keep the dust off of things when going on a trip, or leaving for a long time, or just not using that wing of the house anymore, but they’re walking through what is directly outside of Stolas’ room (and coming to stop at the very chandelier where they played as children, KILL ME). Why does it feel like Stolas was already leaving even before this rupture? Why is this teaming up with Loona’s observation that Stolas must be getting bored of Blitzo to punch me repeatedly in the gut? And does this have anything to do with the upcoming trial and what very much appears to be Andrealphus about to attack Blitzo and Stolas outside of his house? (I’m now doubting if it was Andrealphus’ house, or if he just froze over Stolas’ palace to take as his own, because the cobblestone pattern looks similar to what’s outside of Stolas’ place and Andrealphus’ Let It Go castle doesn’t appear to have the same in the brief shot we get of it I AM GOING INSANE.)

…I do love, though, how even though Blitzo is aggressive about it, he DOES want to keep talking it out, he just needs time to process. Stolas needs space to grieve, to be hurt without being seen. They’re both seeing it as the other guy just not taking them seriously, not wanting them around, how the FUCK can these two morons want the same thing but be so wrong about each other at the same time (I know, I know why, I watch the show, I’m just in despair right now). I don’t think Apology Tour is going to fix everything, not by a long shot, but if it can get these two to at least understand each other enough to realize that neither of them was actually being rejected…it’s a tall order, Viv, but I believe in your team. And this certainly explains why Stolas would have Bitch Supreme expressions at Blitzo approaching him after this, assuming Short Robe Stolas is in Apology Tour (I am on my hands and knees begging PLEASE); his feelings were mocked, the depths of his misconceptions were revealed, and his boundaries were pushed when he tried to escape. Though why Blitzo is coming for Stolas after this…can’t quite say, but it might have something to do with why IMP is on the run (unless that’s in early Ghostfuckers, which it could be, but hOW LONG IS THAT EPISODE GONNA BE, SAKES ALIVE). Because Blitzo was sexually rebuffed, given a consolation prize after being discarded, and subjected to way too much honesty without any time to prepare or process (or any immediate violence to keep his adrenaline up so he has no choice but to process, or whatever magic happened with Fizz), then dumped after spilling his vitriolic guts in an attempt to talk it out.

THEY. ARE. A. GOD. DAMNED. MESS.

And I am SO looking forward to the cleanup :P

[olderthannetfic]

Speaking of fetishization and all that jazz, recently the term fujoshi came up in real life for me and a friend asked me what it meant. For transparency I’m only 25, didn’t really fall into fandom until covid. Essentially I said it was a japanese term sometimes used in fandom so it depends who you ask. It could be 

Rotten women: this is the most technical translation and I’m pretty sure the actual word is a pun about rotten eggs or something. It means rotten as in spoiled, as in “spoiled for marriage” 

A derogatory term for women who are ruined for marriage because they like gay porn 

Women who likes gays porn 

Women who like BL/boy love. The male equivalent is fudanshi. BL is gay mlm romance genre for manga. GL is for girl love, but I think GL is less popular of a genre/not really a thing. I’m pretty sure the porn equivalent is yaoi for gay porn and yuri for lesbian porn(still talking about manga/anime) but I could be wrong. BL and yaoi might mean the same thing I’m not sure. The important part here is fujoshi is for women who like BL and fudanshi is for men who like BL. This is the most correct term unless someone is trying to use it as an insult. I’m pretty sure this is what comes up when you google it. 

Straight women who fetishizes gay men

Transphobic term for a trans man that actually just a “straight women who fetishes gay men” 

(me still talking to my friend) 

Now if you’re wondering why all this exists we need to go back to the early 2000s and I’m pretty sure 4chan. If I’m right, fujoshi already meant rotten women and was used to describe a woman who was ruined for marriage, but around this time it started being used specifically against women for liking gay porn/ BL manga. An intersection of misogyny and homophobia where women aren’t just ruined by jacking off, but even more ruined if they jack off to gay porn. Oh no the horror! How will women ever marry straight men if she masturbated to gay men? She is now ruined for straight men. I find this whole thing absurd, but honestly I forget that people “aren’t supposed to even masturbate” before marriage. Got to keep yourself completely pure I guess. Like I understand the concept of not having sex before marriage(even if I really don’t agree) because I grew up hearing that but the idea that you shouldn’t even masturbate or you’ll be ruined is so stupid to me it makes my brain short circuit. And of course it's misogynistic as all hell. At this time it's a Japanese term used in Japan against Japanese women and it's later reclaimed by Japanese women. Reclaimed as in “wait you guys can have porn and be horny but we can’t!? Well fuck you then I am rotten woman and you can go fuck yourself” At least thats what I think they mean when they say its a “reclaimed word” All I know is that its a misogynist term used against japanese women then reclaimed by said women. This is when “it just means women who like BL definition starts” 

Short time later it slowly but surely gets used in western fandom by people(mostly women) who ship mlm and by women who like BL and in the latter case it literally means that. This is when “it means a woman who fetishes gay men '' crops up Now I wasn't around at this time and there's a lot of mud throwing and shit when people talk about early tumblr and shipping culture. From what I can tell lots of time it was just used as an insult against people who shipped gay stuff, but there were women who would act gross towards gay men. My opinion is that is kinda like lesbian porn. I don’t give shit if someone like lesbian porn. I give a shit if someone is gross to me personally, like a guy wanting to watch me giss my friend, but its non of my business what kinda porn someone likes. What a weird thing to give a fuck about. And shipping isn’t even always porn! Lots of times its just porn, but lots of times its just about the most interesting relationship on screen which normally isn’t the romantic one. I have a whole theory that the most popular ships being between friendships not romantic leads is because romantic story lines aren’t great. Take zuko and katara vs aang and katara. Zuko and katara have a whole arc where they learn to trust each other and we see their relationship grow and change, but with aang and katara we mostly only watch them crushing on each other which is just not as interesting. 

I said more about how the term gets pretty transphobic and how fetishization is a good criticism lots of times but i’m pretty sure I’m out of words lol 

--

腐女子 is a pun on 婦女子. They're both 'fujoshi'. The 'fu' character means 'rotten' or 'fermented' as in tofu: 豆腐.

English-speaking antis are just morons about language along with everything else and completely misrepresent this word.

Yeah, it was 2chan crying that girls liked something other than them and then women being like "Joke's on you: I'm proud of that".

(In general, insecure douchebags dislike their partners masturbating because they foolishly assume that if a partner has zero experience, they won't be measuring the douchebag against anything. In reality, you can tell if sex was bad without anything to compare it to.)

BL is a genre term for m/m stuff aimed at an assumed female audience. It tends towards romances, but that's not the definition AFAIK. I imagine that women who like gei komi probably also call themselves fujoshi, but the point of the 'fudanshi' term is to denote men who like the "for girls" stuff, not just gei komi.

Is GL used much? I usually see queer women using 'yuri' to talk about f/f manga.

You can drop that "porn equivalent" nonsense though. Aside from some English-language fanfic, there has not been a consistent terminology for softcore vs. hardcore. Both 'BL' and 'yuri' can cover the full spectrum of content.

[artbyblastweave]

Gideon the Ninth Liveread, Chapter 6

Okay. Here’s the first one and the big one; this is absolutely not going to be a competition. This is not the Hunger Games. By explicitly raising the idea that they aren’t sure if it’s a competition, and then having Harrow go all in on her assumption that it is a competition, the author has confirmed, via the law of dramatic irony, that whatever is about to happen is not a competition. That said. I think it’s completely reasonable for Harrow to assume it will be. To use TVtropes parlance, she’s wrong genre savvy; she knows what kind of story she’s in, and more to the point, this feels like the kind of society- literally, pointedly fueled by death!- that would in fact have a death-and-infighting oriented selection process for its highest ranking fueled-by-death positions, which the empire would in turn gussy up with glamourous and prestigious language in order to half-assedly elide the horror of how their government works. That feels like a very plausible thing that a native of this universe might expect an imperial summons to turn out to be. I’m only certain that that’s not what’s about to happen because I’ve got special insight as the all-consuming voyeur of these people’s lives. (Also, I once saw a post specifically dragging everyone involved in…. whatever’s about to happen for assuming they were in The Hunger Games.)

The launch sequence highlights, to my eyes, the three positive qualities that Harrow has as a human being. The first is an impeccable sense of drama (acknowledged even by Gideon!) The second is that she’s deeply fucking funny in the audacity of her lies; she tells the whole community that her parents are going down in the tomb to look at some communion wine and he’s bricking them up in there now, and everyone just rolls with it. Does she think she’s good at lying convincingly? Does she have a frame of reference for what lying means when everyone doesn’t automatically treat you as a mouthpiece for religious authority? 

The last thing, though, is that I now have a slightly sympathetic motivation for Harrow; she actually does care about the ninth. They are her flock, her people, and they are old, and she’s watching them die one by one. And to Gideon, who hates everyone here, watching Harrow “do the census adjustments in her head” when a hermit drops dead from shock is a funny one-off gag of no real gravity; that Hermit is a set piece. But to Harrow it’s probably genuinely distressing, watching a bunch of people she cares about and feels responsible for who are quickly moving past the point where they can take care of themselves die off one by one, potentially taking crucial infrastructural knowledge with which to care for the others with them! I am significantly more sympathetic to her goal of revitalizing the house now; at a bare minimum, she could pull strings to get some competent elder workers out there.

And Gideon is finally leaving the Ninth. As part of her cathartic moment, she has an imagine-spot of the entire facility collapsing with her departure, for lack of her perception of it; this feels, though, like less of a metaphor than she’s treating it as. The idea of leaving the house doesn’t make the house seem fragile- her leaving the house is very literally making it more fragile. Gideon has noticed this sporadically throughout the earlier chapters for the sake of jabs, but the three individuals keeping the collective house half-life above 10 years or so have vacated the planet. She's acting like it's some great leap of imagination that the whole thing's going to physically collapse and explode when she’s gone, but when a few more bone nuns die and the already-framed-as-sucky Terraformers cut out, it might! It literally might. I’m not sure Gideon has shaken the places omnipresence in her life thus far quite yet; she’s realized it’s just a place, but not how fragile of a place. She is, to sum up, experiencing a very, very different sort of story than the story Harrow is the protagonist of. Harrow is taking the inaugural steps of a heroic quest to save her doomed hometown, but we see that quest from the viewpoint of the town punching bag. Fun things, once again, being done with Genre and protagonist privilege. 

[wally-darling-hyperfixation]

Im so sorry that you feel that way :(

Personally I think that the anon who said that is dead wrong, Clown has not said that they’re not okay with shipping, never once (or atleast I haven’t seen him say it) have they said that they aren’t okay with shipping or fanfics as long as you keep in mind the other rules (no nsfw)

Clown also said he’s okay with horror as well (I’m pretty sure at least, I’m going off of the first post of rules they made)

From what I’ve seen from your content is that you follow these rules greatly and you make amazing pieces that are fun to read while also keeping in mind of Clowns boundaries.

Please don’t let what the anon said to you get you down, I would hate to see you stop writing especially since I’m a fan of your work!

If you need to take a longer break then please do so, it’s no shame in it especially if you need to think about wether you want to continue or not (whichever choice makes you happier then please do so!)

I hope you cheer up soon, love you!

Now I’m crying cause of all of your sweet words. You and everyone else’s words anon. I very much appreciate the support and love y’all give me. I am one of those people who just want to get away from the real world so I love x reader stories. I try to make Gender neutral so that everyone can be apart of it. Even though I myself am born a female and am a female. Because everyone should feel like they are loved and cared for. I wish I could draw but I can’t . Thank you all for caring and I’m sorry I let it get to me. I’ve always been an extremely emotional person lol. In fact when I saw I got over 200 followers. I squealed and jumped and did a little dance singing happily. I’m very emote with my feelings.

[truechaosembodied]

Hello, I am CHAOS!

I’m a weird mother fucker who does random shit whenever I feel like it. I like to write, especially when it comes to character-driven and emotional stories. I mostly want peace, but will go to war over respecting everyone. Anyone is welcome, because I mostly want to entertain people with my antics and writing.

Smaller things that aren’t very important:

Fandoms

FNaF

Nintendo (especially Kirby)

Sonic

Other Indie Horror (minus BanBan)

Horror

Doctor Who (especially David Tennant)

Transformers

DAGames/Will Ryan

Sexuality: Demisexual/Demiromantic

Pronouns: He/Him

Yes, I know I look white. No, I don’t know why.

The most important thing:

Who is the guy in my pfp?

Short answer: A character that I’ve made to intentionally be a cringe self-insert that slowly became the object of my philosophy.

Long answer: In 8th grade, we could pay to wear costumes for Halloween at school. I decided to go with the dumbest thing possible; a hodge-podge of previous costumes for a real-life shitpost. A skeleton body, FNaF Foxy mask, a Super Saiyan Blue Goku wig, a cowboy hat, and a pair Super Mario Bros slippers made up what I called “The Embodiment of CHAOS”. This was the beginning of my obsession with chaos, TRUE chaos. The kind of chaos from Greek mythology and Chaos Theory, not the evil that most people see it as today. The idea of evil would be delegated to a different disorder or disorganization. The idea of chaos that I formed in my head almost 3 years ago was that chaos was order that looked wrong. Slowly, that concept evolved into the idea that anything can happen, and that’s okay. People that are chaotic accept change as good until proven otherwise, and they can easily understand that everybody has done life differently, either because they chose to or were just using the cards they’ve been dealt. Either way, they are inherently more empathetic and thoughtful, but they have to know *why* in order to show that empathy. Do I claim to be the epitome of that? No. I only chose the username because it’s cool. Do I wish to be like that? Hell yeah I do.

To be completely honest, I just wanna have fun. I don’t want to hurt or upset anyone, but accidents happen. If you find that I am doing something offensive, PLEASE don’t be afraid to tell me off. I’m fully prepared to read a textbook to be proven wrong, though I might poke fun later.

Dankeschön,

CHAOS

P.S. Yes, do speak (very broken) German.

[whisperedgreetings]

What Boy Meets Maria Means to Me

SPOILERS AHEAD

CW: mentions of SA and pedophilia. These topics aren’t comfortable even with me most of the time. Please stay safe, okay?

So. I picked up this manga because I fell in love with the art style and heard it didn’t have the usual fetishization most MLM stories have in manga. It seemed sweet, if not exceedingly dorky. Two theater kids fall in love. A one-shot MLM grumpy x sunshine story.

I had no idea what I was getting into.

“There’s nothing worse than always being alone.”

Now, this story felt deeply personal for a number of reasons. Let’s start with the main character, Taiga. He wants to be the best actor in Japan. He’s loud, determined, and doesn’t seem to notice when people find him utterly annoying, nor does he seem to understand the social rules of the world around him. All in all, he reminds me a lot of my current boyfriend.

And then there’s Maria. Or rather, Arima.

I’ve never been so hurt by how close to home a character hit before.

Arima was raised by a mother who wanted a daughter. He was raised as a girl, and often felt enough like one to be okay with it. But it never felt quite right. On this alone, I could relate a lot to that as a more feminine trans man. Girly clothes felt fine, being referred to as a girl didn’t feel inherently wrong. But being a boy felt entirely right, and that was something to feel guilty about. But there’s more than that.

Now. This is hardly something I like to discuss, so I’ll keep it to a minimum. At a certain point, Arima’s insecurity with his gender got to a point where he was driven to ask his teacher how he’d feel if Arima really was a boy. And, as soon as that was said, that same teacher assaulted him.

Of course, reading this was beyond painful. It’s natural to read something like that and get the pit in your stomach that’s usual when hearing of other’s tragedies. But how the event changed Arima meant just as much. The event led Arima to view being seeing seen as a man as dangerous, as something scary and vulnerable. And he found safety in his femininity, as that was never subjected to the horrors his masculinity did.

It’s often speculated that trans men are the way they are because of some bad memory they have with their born gender, rather than it being a part of their identity. I face the blunt of this rather often, as a trans man that also happens to be an SA survivor. Seeing this told from an AMAB perspective made it feel less belittling, somehow. My struggle with my identity since that point feels more real. My assault followed the same pattern as Arima’s. I disclosed with someone I trusted that I might really be a boy. And then I was assaulted by that person the same day. And like Arima, I still find safety in being perceived as feminine. I still often hide behind it, as being seen as the man I am seems more vulnerable. I’ve never seen my exact feelings written out the way I feel them.

Now, back to Taiga. I mentioned that he reminds me a lot of my boyfriend. Taiga, throughout the book, seems to look up to Arima for his talents. Arima however, is jealous of Taiga for his ability to be so open and outspoken about who he is and what he wants for himself. Neither understand how the other could want to be more like them. This was something me and my partner struggled a lot with as well, for a lot of the same reasons. It felt so silly and cliche at the time, for us to be jealous of each other like that. And yet, there it was. Not laughed at. Not mocked. It was seen as a real struggle. The reason we grew was the reason they did. It was real growth, and growth I can be proud of.

“I couldn’t help looking up to you. I didn’t want you to see my weaknesses. But it didn’t matter what I showed you. With you, I could be masculine. I could be myself. That’s how I felt. It was refreshing. And now, I really can’t let you see how pathetic I am.”

I’m happy I can say that I was able to make the same progress Arima’s character did. Healing is painful. PTSD is painful. And seeing my own painful view of the world put into words hurt. But I needed it. And I thank the author for giving this to me. I will treasure it forever, even if it was only one small book in a sea of other wonderful works. This one is mine.

For those who read all this but never read the manga, thank you, I guess, for being interested in what I have to say. If you decide you want to pick it up, please check the content warnings beforehand. And if it grows to be too much, drop it. Nothing is worth risking your mental health for, let alone a single book. What means so much to me does not need to mean as much to you.

I love you all dearly.

[casper has logged off]

[fangirlwriting-stories]

They Say You Can’t Fight Fate (I Say Fucking Watch Me)

Chapter One

Chapter Four:

They spent the next day getting Roman’s car back (which was still in good condition, just needed adjustments after driving so long on the road), and then exploring.

The town was pretty small, but there still seemed plenty to do.  Granted, Remus was used to far less to do, but there were still a couple bookstores, some good looking restaurants, a cinema, and, what Remus would have made them leave if they didn’t have, a rage room.

They both headed there first, and walked in to find two employees arguing behind the desk.

“No, no, shut up, shut up and listen, are you listening to me?” said the one with purple hair.  “I will put up with a lot of shit from you, but I am not going to sit here and take this!”

“Well excuse me,” the other one said, rolling his eyes.  “I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion.”

“You aren’t if your opinion is fucking stupid!”

Roman cleared his throat awkwardly.  “Um, hi?” he said.

To Remus’ eternal delight, the purple one turned to face him, held up a finger and said “Hang on,” then turned right back to the other one.

“Now listen,” he said.  “And tell me, Janus.  Have you ever run for your life?”

“Janus” said nothing.

“Well, have you?”

“You told me to listen,” Janus said.  “Do you want me to listen or do you want me to answer your questions?”

“I swear to god Janus,” the purple-haired one said, as Remus leaned forward, absolutely riveted.

“It doesn’t even matter Virgil, because we’re not talking about real life, we’re talking about fiction, and that gives me free reign to judge whoever I want.”

“Have you. Ever. Run for your life?”

Janus threw his hands up.  “No!  Obviously I haven’t, Virgil!”

“Well then how do you know you wouldn’t be exactly as stupid as a horror movie character?”

“Because I have a functioning head,” Janus groaned, looking up at the ceiling.

“Do you know how much head function goes out the window when you’re running from a man with a chainsaw?”

“Uh, hey,” Roman said, drawing both of their attention.  “Are you going to let us in?”

“Shh-shh,” Remus said, putting a finger up to Roman’s mouth.  “I want to hear this.”

Thankfully, the other two seemed to take Remus’ interest as all the permission they needed, because they went right back to arguing, and Remus walked forward to lean on the desk and watch.

“I don’t know what to tell you Virgil, you’re not going to convince me of this,” Janus said.  “I don’t care how much psychology is behind it.  It’s a story, it doesn’t have to be realistic.”

“Yes it does,” Virgil snapped, looking up at the ceiling.  “It doesn’t have to be reality, but it needs to be believable!”

“I’m sorry, what is the criticism launched at horror movies so often it’s become a joke all on it’s own?”

“Janus—”

“Isn’t it something about the characters making stupid unbelievable decisions?  No, wait, that couldn’t be it, because that would mean you’re a moron who’s making a stupid argument.”

“I’m going to strangle you,” Virgil growled.

“Look, the way I see it, we’re diametrically opposed on this anyway,” Janus said with a shrug.  “Seems like we need outside input.  You want to ask the customers here?”

“Oh please leave me out of this,” Roman said, backing up.

“I think you’re both right but for the wrong reasons,” Remus said with a delighted grin.  “Yes, human reasoning goes out the window when someone’s chasing you with a chainsaw.  But also, it’s funnier if the characters are stupid.”

Virgil turned to stare at him.  “It’s a horror movie.  It’s not meant to be funny.”

“Is it not?  I’ve never actually seen one of those.  Not by lack of trying, it was apparently just too much on my delicate mental state.  But I don’t know, the idea of people running screaming from a guy with a chainsaw like that’s not gonna make them easier to find sounds hilarious, in my opinion.  Anyway, can you let us in so we can break a bunch of shit?”

Now both of them were looking at him in confusion, but after a second, Virgil sighed.  “Fine.  I guess since no one is going to listen to reason anyway,” he said in annoyance.  “Are you both eighteen?”

“Yep,” Remus lied instantly.

“Cool.  Don’t damage the structure of the room, just the items inside it.  You can hit stuff against the walls as long as it’s not hard enough to make holes in them.  Make sure you’re wearing shoes if you break anything glass.  Janus will take you to grab your safety gear.  Are either of you intoxicated, sick, injured, or pregnant?”

“I’m pregnant,” Remus said instantly, as Roman groaned and buried his head in his hands in the background.  Remus had a similar response the last time they went to a rage room.

“Congratulations,” Virgil deadpanned, sliding two liability waivers across the table.  “That’ll be 60 bucks for each of you.”

“Great, put it on our parents’ stolen credit cards,” Remus said, fishing one out of his pocket and passing it across the counter.

Virgil stared at him for a second, seeming vaguely suspicious, which was an interesting reaction, since Remus had just said out loud the cards were stolen.  Janus, on the other hand, was smiling at him, appearing closer to intrigued.

“You got it,” he said, taking the card from Remus and running it through before passing it back to him.  “Lets go get your safety gear.”

Remus grinned at him, and he and Roman both followed Janus back into another room, where Janus gave them both eye protection, coveralls to change into, and gloves.

Remus had been to a rage room once before, but the feeling had been totally different.  He’d spent the time smashing TVs and vases in an effort to get some kind of, well, rage, out at his situation and everything he was going through.  And it had felt amazing in the moment, but then he’d gone back to the mental hospital and everything had just felt more insurmountable.

This time, however, as soon as Remus walked into the room, he started looking around in delight at everything there.  The second Janus closed the door, he ran over and smashed a hole into a TV screen.  Roman laughed in delight behind him and went to do a similar thing to a TV nearby.

Remus whacked his TV several more times, then turned to cause a good amount of damage to an empty bookshelf.  When he’d hit that enough times, he turned to several decorative vases.  When those were appropriately shattered, he moved over to a pile of cords and headphones.

And rather than anger like the last time he’d been to a place like this, the whole time he felt like he was shaking with adrenaline and mania and joy.  Roman was taking out a fair bit of items with just as much energy, and near the end of their hour-long session, they both ended up in the middle of the room, surrounded by broken and shattered objects, with grins that were way too wide.

Remus looked around for a second, then started laughing.  Roman started laughing a second later, and they both ended up on the floor, laying down in a relatively clean area and staring up at the ceiling.

“Fuck,” Remus said.

“Yeah,” Roman agreed.

“I liked that better than last time,” Remus said.

“Me too,” Roman said.  “I pretended all of the stuff I smashed was Mom and Dad or one of your orderlies.”

“Fuck,” Remus realized, turning to look at him.  “Why didn’t I think of that?  We have to come back now.”

Roman laughed.  “You think Mom and Dad will be cool with us maxing out their credit cards on rage rooms?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said, turning back to the ceiling.  “But I think I have a better idea.”

…

Virgil and Janus were surprisingly willing to hire the two of them.  Apparently they didn’t have a ton of employees right now, and two more would boost the hours they could be open, since Virgil and Janus could only work when they weren’t in class.  They were both a few years older than Roman and Remus, and trying to work their way through community college.

So now, when he and Roman weren’t apartment shopping or going on drives through the area around town or trying to figure out how the hell they were going to afford not dying, they were working at the rage room, usually with Janus and Virgil for now, since they were new and still learning some things.

Remus liked Virgil and Janus.  They didn’t ask too many questions and bought that Remus and Roman were both eighteen without asking to see an ID.  (Well, they were close, so Remus could understand why they bought it.  He and Roman both looked a little old for their age, you could blame the trauma, and they’d only have to last until June before they wouldn’t have to lie anymore at all.  But it was still nice that neither Janus or Virgil pushed too hard.)

Janus shared Remus’ tendency for chaos, and he’d introduced Remus to spray paint art.  Just on plywood that was going to get smashed in one of their rooms, so far, but Remus loved it all the same, and he sure Janus would be down to spraypaint in slightly-less-legal places one of these days.  It would be Remus’ first crime!  He was a little embarrassed it had taken him this long to commit one, but the orderlies had watched him too closely for him to get away with much back at the institute.  Janus was clearly experienced, though.  He said he knew how to spraypaint, and shoplift (which Remus and Roman should both probably learn just for survival reasons), and Remus could never be quite sure if he was joking when he said he’d gotten away with arson once.

Janus talked with Roman about theatre and acting, which was clearly less superior to his conversations with Remus, but that was okay.  Roman could keep Janus’ boring half, as long as Remus got to have fun with him.

Virgil was a little less out there overall, but he still got approval from Remus once he brought in his whole collection of horror movies for the two of them to watch in the back when they didn’t have customers.  Unsurprisingly, Remus decided he liked the super gorey fucked up ones the most, though he did ask Virgil to steer clear anything with mental hospitals or crazy people.  Virgil, thankfully, didn’t ask.  Remus liked that quality of his more every day.

In what was more of a surprise, horror-movie enthusiast Virgil also loved Disney just like Roman.  The two of them spent hours talking about it and debating it— apparently they liked it for very different reasons.  Roman liked the mushy gushy happy fairy tale aspect like a loser, and Virgil, in what Remus could almost respect, liked the darker undertones and weird messed up messages that could be found throughout the movies.  They both went back and forth on this topic often.

And unfortunately, it was during one of these debates that they ended up on a topic neither Remus or Roman liked.

“See, that’s another thing about The Lion King.  I can’t decide whether they should have added soulmates or not,” Virgil said, waving his hand dismissively as he scribbled down something on the inventory sheet.  “Like yeah, as far as we know animals don’t have soulmates, but if they’re going to be humanizing the characters to such an extent anyway, it’s at least worth thinking about.”

Remus exchanged a glance with Roman, who rubbed the back of his neck.  “I don’t know,” he said without looking at Virgil.  “Honestly, the romance wasn’t my favorite part of the movie.”

“Oh yeah, me neither obviously,” Virgil said.  “That’s hardly the only great thing about it.  It just could have made Simba and Nala’s relationship different is all I’m thinking.”

Roman didn’t reply this time, and after a second Virgil seemed to take notice and glanced back up.  He paused and stood up straighter when he noticed both of their faces.

“Wait, did I touch a nerve or something?” he asked, setting the inventory sheet down.

“Don’t worry about it,” Roman said, but he turned away, and Remus looked down at his hands and started to fidget.

“Oh shit, I really did,” Virgil said.  “I’m sorry.  I got it, soulmates are off limits.”

“It’s not that, it’s just…” Roman said hesitantly, but he trailed off.  Remus glanced up at him, and he glanced back again.

“Dude, you don’t need to explain,” Virgil said.  “It’s okay.  If you don’t want to talk about it, we won’t talk about it.  Anyway, obviously Be Prepared is Disney’s best villain song, but do you have a preference in regards to the second best?  I’m torn between Poor Unfortunate Souls and The Mob Song from Beauty and The Beast.”

Remus glanced over at Virgil, surprised to find him moving on so comfortably.  He really didn’t seem bothered in the slightest.  Granted, Remus didn’t have much of a perspective on how important soulmates were in general society, but it was all anyone ever seemed to talk to him about growing up.  He wasn’t expecting Virgil to be so comfortable writing it off as a subject entirely.

“Uh,” Roman said, seeming just as caught off guard as Remus was.  “I think I prefer The Mob Song.  It’s a good cautionary tale about thinking critically.  Sorry, I need to back up for a second.  You’re just okay with not talking about soulmates?  At all?”

Virgil looked back over at him.  “Yeah.  Is that bad?  You didn’t seem to want me to.”

“But…” Roman glanced over at Remus again.  Remus shrugged.

“It’s just not usually something we get to wiggle our way out of,” Remus said, turning back to Virgil.  “It’s, you know, soulmates.  We always have to deal with it.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow.  “Always?  What soulmate obsessed nuthouse did you grow up in?”

Remus flinched hard, taking a couple steps back, and Roman stepped closer to him.

“None of your business,” Roman snapped at Virgil, who was now looking thoroughly confused and a little offended.

“Dude, you’re the ones who keep bringing it up now,” Virgil said, holding up his hands.  “I was totally cool dropping it and moving on.”

“I’m taking my break,” Remus said, turning around and running off before either of them could say anything else.

Instead of the break room, however, he headed straight for the employee bathroom and locked  himself inside.  Thankfully, it was a single person bathroom, meaning Remus was free to slide down to the floor and slam his head back against the door and slow his breathing without anyone watching him.

Virgil was going to figure it out now, and then he was going to call Remus’ nuthouse and get him shipped back there and Remus couldn’t take going back there.  He’d rather die, and that was not hyperbole.

A knock came at the door.  “Remus?” Roman called.  “Remus, it’s okay.  It’s just me.  Virgil’s not here.”

Remus reached up and turned the handle just enough so the door would unlock, then scooted forward so Roman could open the door and buried his head in his knees.

“Hey,” Roman said, locking the door behind him and moving around to kneel in front of Remus.

“This is the stupidest fucking freak out of all time,” Remus said into his pants.  “He literally fucking said we didn’t have to talk about it and then we didn’t shut up about it.”

“It’s… new,” Roman said hesitantly, putting a hand on Remus’ arm.  “It’s okay.  We’re figuring this out together, remember?”

Remus mumbled some kind of weak affirmation, because Roman was right but also he wasn’t doing so hot.

Roman squeezed his arm gently.  “Re?  Can I help you somehow?”

Remus pulled his head up.  “Can you tell me I’m okay?”

Roman’s brow furrowed in confusion.

“Can you say it anyway?” Remus said, answering his unasked question with another question.  “Even though I’m kind of not?”

Roman nodded, and pulled Remus forward into a hug.  “You’re okay, Remus,” he said.  “It’s okay.  You’re okay.”

Remus took a deep breath in and wrapped his arms around Roman.  And for a while, they sat there breathing.

…

They explained some of it to Virgil, afterwards.  Or, well, they explained it but they didn’t.  They told him that the two of them were platonic soulmates, and most people where they’d come from had been super not okay with that, and they were used to some kind of angry or condescending reaction when they explained.

Virgil said, again, that he got it, and they didn’t have to talk about it, which he’d apparently meant the first time.  He also offered to tell Janus so they didn’t have to have a repeat of the conversation, which they took him up on.

So after that, they had a job in a cool place with cool people, who were really actually okay with not talking about soulmates.  And Remus was pretty sure it was still going to take him a while to get used to that, but that was okay.  They weren’t in a rush.

...

Chapter Five

[f0xgl0v3]

Security/Injuries in Camp Jupiter

Alternate title, ‘Why Camp is literally so unsafe and why we need the Valitudinarium/Camp medical office because everyone will be dead without it’

Okay I just said a lot of words (as usual) but I want to talk about the security in Camp Jupiter. Because guys- why aren’t we shown that these people are INFESTED with monsters.

We are told that the temple hill frequently gets Basilisk burrow problems, and we know that Terminus’s whole safe bubble only applies to New Rome because ‘Conquer or Die’ more interesting analysis of Camps inner workings and interesting stuff that it is too early in the morning to talk about!!

(I’m writing this at 7:17 and I am not in any condition to think about the horrors that these legionnaires must see on a daily basis.)

But yeah, we know that the Temple hill (which is a whole other weird can of worms to have a temple hill? I’d have to look into it more but having them all condensed in that little area feels a little funky- but that’s not the point of this post I’m getting sidetracked) gets infested. Just want to keep reminding people that this is sort of founded off of canon concepts,

But we know that one demigod out in the mortal realm attracts monsters like a fly zapper, and we know the more condensed they are the more monsters they attract (which I’ll also mention brings up some very fun questions about Camp Half-Blood before they had the Thalia shield.) and considering that ‘Big 3’ kids also are said to attract more monsters (wild that we don’t see Percy like regularly deal with monsters. Like- they say they do, but I feel like in the book they don’t really seem to attract much monsters at all once they’re released. Thats for another post tho-)

But from everything said in canon, Camp Jupiter is like a giant neon blinky sign saying ‘all you can eat buffet’ to every monster in a 50 mile radius (I made up that 50 mile number it’s just for the thing, not a real measure) and if we add the fact that Greek demigods aren’t allowed to live in the Bay Area (partially because of Camp Jupiter probably-) but also because it has some of the highest monster populations due to like mt.tam or something (i think that’s what they said. Though then i feel like Los Angelos should similarly be crawling with the buggers due to the underworld but idk!)

But yeah, Camp Jupiter is giant monster attraction. That’s what all that was trying to get at, so I’d like to propose some not so silly camp ideas.

Camp Jupiter’s most dangerous (and most needed) roles are probably tied at Messengers, Scouts, and Sentries (I believe they’re sentries, but I could be wrong. The people on guard duty out at the walls) but these are the jobs I can solidly see having the highest injury rate from monsters (we won’t include various officers/people in power getting injured due to conspiracy,mutiny, etc.)

But I’ll start with Sentries/guards. They are needed, for the obvious reasons. While they are also the most likely to spot some monsters getting a little too close to camp, have to deal with anything trying to slip in, and being the first line of defense or whatever if there’s minor threats that don’t need a whole cohort to take care of (like obviously the guards aren’t gonna be left to deal with like a chimera or anything on their own- but smaller things, like idk I’m sleepy guys) but they also get to be the people popped into the Camp medical thing (I want to say Valitudinarium but it’s a long word and not a lot of people see it and immediately know I’m talking about the camp hospital) because “hey guys, Tim got burned pretty badly after we spotted a couple Cockatrices nesting on a crag in the wall :[“

Then since I seem to be going in reverse are scouts. They don’t need their scouts as much in purely canon Camp Jupiter. But in purely canon Camp Jupiter then in periods where they need the scouts (I’d assume war situations or whatever) they’re going out on their own or in very small groups (guys let’s note that i don’t know how a scout would operate and frankly for this post I’d prefer just to get this idea down here and then think about it later) but they’re left to essentially do the Annabeth thing. And knowing from that group they got swarmed by monsters. So I’d say safe to say that scouts get pretty regularly picked off or at least injured during wartimes.

Now IF we talk about my hc for the 5 missing cohorts being out at settlements around the Americas (just because the 5 being missing bothered me so much) then scouts there are more common for whatever various reasons- and that means they still also get regularly picked off and injured, just probably more often because these scouts wouldn’t just be during wartimes

And finally messengers. They’re role is self-explanatory, I’d see them as Messengers/Heralds/whatever we need some people to go do the thing. Okay aside from that (I am back at writing, it is now 3:03 and I’m getting home, please my head hurts and my braincells were used up like powerups bare with me) but messengers also get injured a lot for similar reasons to the scouts (wow big shocker) but I’d assume they’d be just the smallest bit safer if we assume they operate like mailmen between Camp Jupiter and New Rome and therefore have nice roads, the little protect bubble/Legionnaires everywhere. (I’d like to mention the total missed opportunity to introduce some characters who are messengers/Heralds/Scouts at the Greek & Roman meeting because you can’t convince me Octavian would let Reyna be dumb enough to walk straight into a crowd of their current enemies without sending a couple people to scope out the area-) but yeah, messengers- I haven’t given them much though but I probably will when I start talking about physical roles in Camp Jupiter. They probably also get injured a lot but not as often.

Okay now id like to also say that Camp has amazing walls (I mean the Romans *In Rick Riordan canon* are descended from Trojans and they had a pretty rad wall-) but yeah, I imagine the walls are tall and imposing and scary!! You see a lot more legionnaires constantly carrying weapons or having them at their bedsides because, “Oh sometimes we’re unlucky and a hellhound’ll get through” or “One time we had some sirens come in from the aqueducts connected to the bay that got into the bathhouse”

At Random times at night it’s pretty common to see a commotion because something got in, or a legionnaires missing, or someone is getting someone to the medics-

A lot more scars compared to Camp Half-Blood, scarring is easier when your constantly in danger and using Imperial gold weapons on each other,

Which that last statement bleeds into this one. We are told how dangerous Imperial Gold is- and take into consideration that the Legionnaires are never said to practice with anything different (I’d assume they’d use commons methods of like the ball on the tip of the spear or whatever to stop from like murder but still-??) and war games.

Every single legionnaires lives, sleeps, and breaths in the Camp Hospital, it’s a big building. Every time camp can get their claws into another medic rejoice. And these poor medics, if we consider how bad we think it is over at Camp Half-Blood

These kids regularly shoot each other with siege weapons, throw balls with various chemical concoctions (I would like to say yea, that is a canon thing. It’s called death ball in SoN.) Medics barely get any respite and so little reward for their work because everyone is focused on the people who fight (Which- still deserve the recognition, just saying.)

But yeah, I got off track again- I think? Idk, I’d like to say during the Titan war Camp got the highest surge in injury/death. Due to monsters and demigods n stuff, that is my hc at least to explain to my head why Camp Jupiter feels so empty in SoN and the other books it appears in.

I cried in my English class guys, I uh. Processed a lot from chapter 12 of the outsiders. But I’m happy to kinda get this post done, I’ll probably make another down the road that more clearly talks about it but for now I am very happy to have another long post done, and this is a topic that I like thinking about (Mainly I just like thinking about Camp Jupiter and Romans, big shocker I know guys) but I think that’ll be it for the super duper long posts today.

[foxilayde]

I reslly wanna know WHY is there no oscar isaac fan fiction (not oscar’s characters) like real person oscar, I’d LOVE some of those, as much as I’m infatuated with all his characters, he gets the biggest share of my heart.

I can’t speak for other fic writers in the OI fandom, but the common consensus that i have seen is that its creepy/invasive to write about a real person in that way. Especially for someone like Oscar who is married and has children and is relatively private, it might feel wrong for people to cross that line?

I don’t even know if I so much align myself with that stance.. I mean i definitely TALK about it. You’ve seen my tags. But I don’t write or post stories about it. And that’s because the main gripe I have about RPF (real person fiction) is that it is boring.

I write stories about characters. Real people aren’t characters and writing about them in a narrative sense is about as translatable as making a photocopy of a three dimensional object.

Again, I am speaking for myself here and my own opinions.

The reason I think RPF comes off as flat is because of the source material we’re given; That actual person? That celebrity? You don’t know them in the way you can know a character. Everything presented about Oscar is curated for consumption. Everything. Every interview, fan interaction, insta post, etc. It’s all an act to an unknowable and uncanny degree. With the ultimate objective being, likability.

Yawn.

With the source material of characters on the other hand, you see them in states of vulnerability, you get a glimpse at their inner monologues and objectives. You see what they’re like with other people, with themselves, the role they play in the bigger picture and their relationship to the theme and what that says about our own lives or desires (and yes i do realize you might just be talking about PWPs, but i argue that even PWPs need this in order to be readable and enjoyable)

Actors though?? The famously empty vessels who wander their lives as if in a hall of mirrors? Driven by the need to play someone because they feel an existential longing within themselves to express the inexpressible? male actors in particular? Masters of deception!! Subjected to the scrutinization only previously felt by womankind? The vanity? Meeting the incessant observation of the ever present camera lens with eager presentation? Those aren’t any layers I’m interested in peeling back, ion wanna write that.

Yet.

Maybe—if I get into horror.

PS. If you like RPF, that is fiiiine. idc in the least. Life is short, do what makes you happy. None of this is illegal and we’re all going to die and I’m not the arbiter of anything.

[sylvie-fics]

do another arcane as texts

Arcane Characters As Texts From My Friends (3)

Jinx

What’s the rules on the woodshed? Can we be in there without a more adult adult?

i have that cow skull, i want to find some use for it as a whole BUT it has a bunch of teeth which are loose like i could get pliers and take them all out

I understand there are reasons I got bullied throughout my entire school career, and this is definitely one of many contributing factors.

Are you volunteering to put me down like a horse with an injured leg 

Vi

Ive been informed that if I apply for the “best buddies” club, I receive my own personal sorority girl

And my bed wasn’t like, actively on fire? 

You masturbate every day and commit adultry all the time 

I thought he was asking out of competitiveness, but he said he was asking because he’d heard about tourists having heat strokes and such while visiting because they aren’t used to the heat. Then he got upset when I said I don’t wear sunscreen

Ekko

I am not hitting anyone with my car… intentionally.

Bitch doesn’t know how to use a phone so suddenly I’ve forgotten too

I’m like a year into this and just now looking at the instructions. Apparently there are many unsafe things I’m doing? It’s not gonna stop me from doing it tho

And I was like— yeah— very league of legends of me

Silco

Mr horse bones isn’t a monster he just autistic

Have you ever heard of the Hindenburg disaster?

He’ll watch a horror movie but not interior design?

im pretty damn sure something wrongs going on in there

People think Satan is powerful or whatever but they’ve never met me

Caitlyn

Damn y’all gonna mess around and get an American girl doll movie made about you

Don’t you dare use my coping mechanisms against me woman

I’ve decided to become a slutty nun 

You have such good energy so much ugh and just kindness radiates from you like orb. You’re my best orb.

Viktor

I totally scorched a little bit of my hair welding today 😞

Resin will outlive me, My immortality pact having fallen through.

I eat symbols for breakfast, and my body has amalgamated them into something much more horrifying. 

I want you all to know that I love each and every one of you dearly. But If I don’t stop coughing soon I’m about to start sacrificing you all off one by one as an offering to whatever god controls health

Jayce

A wise philosopher of ages past once spoke, “we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.” 

what role does Skeletor play in the history of our world, then, if He-Man, his greatest enemy, was a collective of unspoken heroes?

According to TikTok because I’m not going to fact check it, blue whales are so loud they can kill us if we’re too close

I blink my eyes real loud and get what I want

[the-peddito-and-doise-show]

Doise don't trust him!.. We know he's not the true peddito.. Heck the real one doesn't even have exe eyes.. So.. DON'T TRUST HIM KAY!

…

The Doise stepped foot into the endless abyss, as he looked around for a moment, struggling to comprehend of where he was—before seeing Peddito look at something far, far, far away in the distance. “Uhh… where are we again?” “What Pizzamancer told us, remember? Finding a way to close that portal from collapsing the fabric of space and time, here, in this very place from the inside.” “Y’know, his plan sounds very confusing now that I think about it—wait… you sound different. Aren’t you supposed to have an Italian accent or something?” “…Do you see that?”

As he did, The Doise regretted his decision to look, because he just stood there in horror, now struggling to comprehend of what that thing was… a gigantic pillar-like creature covered—or trapped—in layers of cheese that couldn’t move if it even wanted to. “What… what is that thing?” “The very thing that keeps this dimension barely afloat. If it ever falls, so does this dimension as well.” “Oh, jeez… maybe we shouldn’t break it then.” “No. We should break it. Watch it crumble without any trace left behind. Don’t you get it now, Doise? We have a goal to fulfill. We have a purpose to fulfill.” “What are you even talking about, Peddito? Our friends are still here—we can’t just leave them behind for good again!” “Oh, they’ve been pestering us ever since we got here. Wouldn’t you want to leave ungrateful ‘friends’ behind, and move on from it all?”

Then, something just… snapped inside The Doise, as the most furious expression appeared on his face. “OKAY, I HAVE ENOUGH WITH YOUR CRYPTIC NONSENSE! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT, ‘PEDDITO?!’ WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT EVEN ARE YOU? I’M TIRED OF THIS! YOU’RE INSISTING ON LEAVING—NO, WIPING OUT OUR FRIENDS’ EXISTENCE! THE REAL PEDDITO WOULDN’T DO THAT! AT LEAST HE CARES ABOUT SOME PEOPLE, UNLIKE YOU! OH, ALSO, HOW COULD I NOT NOTICE THE DISTRACTINGLY BRIGHT SHADE OF PINK ON YOUR SHIRT, THE RED PUPILS THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE LACK OF TEETH! HOW DO YOU EVEN EAT? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? YOU’RE A FAKE!”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!” “YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT! FAKE! EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS FAKE! YOU’RE NOT PEDDITO, AND YOU WILL NEVER BE PEDDITO!”

“I AM NOT FAKE! YOU ARE FAKE! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY! EKAF ERA UOY!” “Wait a minute… that voice… no… it can’t be…”

…

“OOAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”