#the hand off interaction is the cutest fucking thing I love it so much

[fortunegnome]

Dina had triplets!!

Bruno, Beauty, & Braylin

Braylin is the only one with brown hair which is from Mortimer while Bruno and Beauty have blonde hair. Beauty is the only one with green eyes so she took both traits from Dina

(My triplets & quads mod lied to me and said there were twins added to the family and lo and behold I got triplets)

[zombholic]

MILF ABBY WITH READER WHO HATES KIDS HC — abby anderson

description — milf!abby, reader who isnt that great with kids, age gap, reader is around mid twenties and abby is late thirties going on forty, smut, mdi !!,

authors note — literally all my creds and inspo goes to @elliespassagerprincess i literally love their milf abby series pls go read it !!

— You and your friends know that you do not have a single motherly instinct in your bones, you and kids do not mix well together.

— This one time you were just strolling while shopping and a toddler came up to say hi to you and you just stared at it wondering what to do.

— If there’s a child screaming at the top of their little lungs you literally give it a death glare.

— You also call children “it” and make everyone laugh every time you talk about a kid.

— But if it wasn’t for Abby’s six-year-old daughter Melanie who came up to you one day at a your local grocery store crying like snot bubbling at her nose and she looked sticky trying to hold your hand you wouldn’t have met your future milf wife.

“Oh, uh hi— why are you crying?” You let the little child grab your pointer finger as you tried to hard to fight your inner demons from the stickiness of her little hand.

“I— I can’t find my mommy.” She used her other hand to wipe the snot off her face, you could feel every nerve in your body cringe. You felt bad for the thing but jesus why are kids so fucking sticky.

You and the kid sat on one of the benches inside the store, you bought her some candy to make it stop crying and it worked. You did inform an employee that there was a lost kid, they spoke on the intercom after telling you that if the parent isn’t here in a certain amount of time they would call law enforcement.

“So, what’s your name?” You pinched your eyebrows together looking at the small being next to you devouring the ring pop like her life depended on it.

“Melanie but all my friends call me Melly.” She gave you a toothy smile well … she was missing majority of her teeth so half toothy smile?

“That’s … nice? You have friends?” She shook her head, her two little braids looked like she got into a street fight.

“Yeah, a lot like a lot of friends, what’s your na—“ She was cut off by a woman’s voice calling out for her.

“Melanie!” Both of your eyes shot up at the… holy fucking fuck she was breath taking.

— You found out that her name is Abby and she has a little escape artist for a child, she hugged you tightly with those giant arms thanking you for keeping her baby safe.

— Abby was truly taken back by how beautiful you are, she was quick to tell you she’ll repay you and managed to get your number while doing so.

— You guys ended up bonding really fast, even though you two were almost complete opposites she was so fascinated by you.

— She invited you over to dinner at her house and fuck was she loaded, not like you were in it for the money but damn must be nice.

— She genuinely found it so amusing how you would interact with Melanie, treating her like a little adult. You weren’t the type to use baby words towards kids you just spoke to them.

— Melanie really resembled Abby to the T, she had her mom’s blue eyes, freckles, the cutest nose but she had blonder hair, you just assumed it was from the dad.

— After months of basically hanging out with them you guys felt so inseparable, you still would give concerning expressions whenever Melanie would do something weird.

— Abby was falling in love you, whenever all three of you would watch a movie that Melanie always picked out and yes you did argue with a six year old about picking movies she would just have the urge to grab your face and kiss you.

— For halloween you bought Melanie an inflatable dinosaur costume with a pink tutu, you literally were crying from how silly she looked holding Abby’s hand.

— Abby was so reluctant to make the first move, scared that she was too old for you but little did she know how much it turned you on that she was older.

— You decided to ask Abby out on a date, you called her up while you were at home, heart beating out of your chest when she said yes.

— The date was at the arcade, cheesy but Abby always won you prizes every time you guys went with Melly. She beat at you literally every single game and being competitive you just glared at her.

— Melanie was at a sleepover at her friend’s home so you and Abby had the place to yourselves, after the date you guys were chilling in her kitchen Abby finally had the courage to kiss you.

“Can I please kiss you?” She looked at you with those pleading eyes, a slight whine to her words.

NSFW mdi NSFW mdi NSFW

— She pinned your back against the counter, her hand cupping the side of your face, the kiss felt so warm but soon became greedy.

— She carried you to her room, your legs wrapped around her waist, arms around her neck as you drove her fucking crazy kissing on her neck like that.

— Abby has a Daddy kink, she had her strap settled deep in your drooling cunt, legs on her shoulder, thrusting so fucking deliciously making you claw at her arms.

“Mmmgh— oh fuck Abby..” Your eyes were rolled to the back of your head, knuckles white from the grip you had on her arms.

“Daddy, call me fucking Abby again and I wont let you cum.” She slapped your face, grabbing it with her hands squeezing your cheeks together.

God this wasn’t the sweet, motherly Abby you knew but some sex god who would fuck you so stupid it left you an incoherent mess.

— She had crazy stamina, had you in every position, face down with your ass up, riding her cock, your back pressed against her front as she spread your legs open drilling your bruised and aching pussy.

— She was so mean, she mocked your moans, bit your skin, slapped your tearful face every time you stopped looking at her. You couldn’t get enough of this side of her.

— She over stimulated you so much you were sobbing, trembling every time she would touch you, your legs shook violently.

Abby had her arms wrapped securely around your thighs, spreading them open so wide. Her tongue lapping you up, sucking on your puffing clit, sliding her tongue inside your sore cunt.

“Daddy please! Too much, s’too much, too much” You squealed, crying out trying to push her head off of you.

— After long hours of her using you, she was so quick to turn her motherly instincts back on. Kissing your face so sweetly, her eyes filled with worry that she pushed you over the edge.

— You reassured her that it was the best fucking sex you’ve ever had. She started a bath for you, sitting right behind you as she massaged your aching body, running her fingers over the love bites she left scattered on your body.

— She held you so tightly as you both had fallen asleep on her amazing bed.

[deadguywalkin]

sam+seb+alex hcs,

cw nsfw at the end, eds, disorders, and the likes

mdni with this post because i will be dropping some extra nsfw stuff here , or just don’t read/interact with the last bit

sambastian:

they baby each other WAAAYY too much. randomly holding each other’s faces and cooing at each other and getting sad, peppering each other’s faces.

i stole this from someone but they probably cried the first time they had sex

so so sappy. they’re just so lovesick for each other. 

sam is bigger than him but insists on sitting in his lap

in the middle of the night, waking up ‘baby… baby..’ ‘..what?’ ‘nothing. i just love you.’

comfortable silence. sam always feels a need to talk and entertain people, but he feels at peace with sebastian since he already tells him everything and doesn’t have much to say beyond that.

sebalex:

‘__kg of protein…… i need to eat you’

alex thinks he’s the cutest thing ever. sebastian thinks alex needs to fuck off

‘you’re so babygirl’ ‘shut the fuck up’

alex is still scared of sebastian. he’s still always going to be slightly scared of him

they don’t understand each other, but it gives them so much more to love learning more and more about stuff they’ve never heard of before

hugs from behind and whispering into ears

sebastian has trouble remembering to eat, alex always seems to have something on hand and remind him

samalex

they’re SO boyfriends who constantly hype each other up

*sobbing* ‘i love you.. bro’ *tears in his eyes* ‘broski.. i love you too.’

just so much praising each other and telling each other how awesome they are

so much cuteness aggression. they’re just squeezing and crushing each other constsntly

sam is in every single comment section of every one of alex’s instagram posts gatekeeping him. ‘EVERYONR LOOK AWAY THATS MY MAN!!!!’

sam/alex + sebastian

hugging him from behind and kissing him

carrying him just to piss him off.

sebastian steals their clothes. but they let him because he looks really cozy

pinning him down and biting him. forcefeeding him affection and kisses, nomnomnomnom

constantly grabbing at his thighs or waist

he’s so tired and unmotivated, has depressive episodes from time to time. they like helping him out.

he just likes sitting in their laps while doing whatever and letting the bigger guys engulf him

has to do all of the thinking for them. they always shut their brain offs when they’re around sebastian so he has to make sure they’re not walking into poles

‘sorry, they were dropped on the head as babies.’ he says while apologizing to whoever sam or alex are talking to

literally cannot handle how horny sam and alex are. they are insane

sam/sebastian + alex

always sitting in his lap. he’s so comfy

‘ah.. long day of work…… i’m exhausted. time to shove my face in this himbo’s titties and exhale loudly’

reassuring him quietly with soft pecks to his face

they hold his bicep when walking with him

they steal his clothes a LOT and he would love to retaliate but unfortunately he would rip their clothes 

they’re so gentle with him. everyone thinks he’s tough but they know how fragile and sweet he is and they just think he’s so baby

alex has some kind of body dysmorphia and gym related eating disorder. they always remind him to eat normally and not body check so much, checking in on his meals a lot and making sure he’s not eating some weird gym rat concoction

doesn’t get their music / music taste but is happy to listen anyways

alex/sebastian + sam

sam comes home and is immediately like ‘mmfffjfghgf….’, dropping his head on their thighs and they immediately know to start playing with his hair, no questions asked

constantly yapping to them. cannot shut his mouth. they like the background noise though

token white boy, very confused when they shower him with spanish and korean pet names and compliments

>> 

🏈: ay, mi querido, sam💗

🦇: 내 아기 🖤

☀️: .. uh-huh

needs so much attention and love. very high maintenance boyfriend

he’s just the sweetest ever. he loves holding them and listening to whatever’s bothering them. he’s the type to focus on everyone else’s problems as he ignores his own

adhd boy. he needs help staying on task with whatever he needs to work on. 

plays his old acoustic while close to them, singing to them. they love it

completely nsfw hcs beyond this point !!!!!

samalex have definitely researched how to properly suck tdick

sebalex ‘missionary so we can continue arguing’

alex’s abs are just. they’re just feral over them

sam has a perfect ass, no kidding. skater boys and their beautiful asses….

so much ass grabbing. these three cannot keep their hands off of each other

sam was definitely alex’s first cis guy

sebastian with his eyeliner running down his cheeks ………yes

have to mention again.. sam is SO whiney and cracky, he’s so vocal

alex is low and mildly vocal but can have a twinge of sounding desperate at times

sambastian fingering/mutual masturbation…. while holding each others faces lovingly and cooing at each other (based off of crispy’s trans seb art)…… save me…………

samalex:

[reclusiverisottonero]

Heyyy can I get a Mista x afab reader nsfw where reader has a huge praise kink

Ty for taking the time to read this ✨️

(I love how I read this as Mista having the praise kink at first lmfao but don't worry anon I gotchu.)

❌ Minors, ageless blogs, and blank blogs are never allowed to interact with my posts regardless of the rating of the content. You will be blocked if you like/reblog this post.

🌟 ️Kinks: Praise kink, vaginal fingering, oral sex (reader giving).

🔫 Before you get together, Mista has his suspicions of the kind of things you’re into. He might not always have the keenest eye for the details, but he does make sure to pay attention to you. He sees how you melt under the weight of a good compliment. 

🔫 At first, Mista thought it was because you had a crush on certain people, because who wouldn’t get flustered under Bucciarati’s praises? But with the way your eyes shine, and you stutter and fumble through your gratitude when others do the same, Mista keeps his suspicions tucked in the back of his pocket for later.

🔫 When he, finally, finally, sinks his fingers into your cunt for the first time, your clit throbbing for his touch, ��God, you feel so fucking good. Already so wet for me.” is already out of his mouth before he knows it, and he can’t stop himself. As you start to clench and whine around his digits, he buries his face into the crook of your neck to inhale your scent as you hold on for dear life, and whispers, “I could spend all day doing this with you.”

🔫 He does just that, and you lose track of how many times he makes you cum with his mouth and fingers. “You make the cutest sounds when you’re close.” Are words that are going to be replaying in your head and boosting your self-confidence for a good while. Later, after he’s done telling you how pretty you are with his cock in his hands, that you look even better with your lips wrapped around it, you swallow his load and reply, “You don’t sound so bad either.” From the way Mista’s face turns as red as his hat (which he’s still refused to take off) makes you chuckle, wondering just what else you could say to turn him into as much of a mess as you currently are....

[dufferpuffer]

Hi it's me again sorry to spam your inbox. I had PoA in the background while working and it just hit me: how was Remus immediately so good at teaching? As far as we know, he never was a teacher before. He worked little odd jobs to survive that he barely kept for a few months. Yet, he starts at Hogwarts and immediately his first lesson is a success. The students love him so much to the point they still talk about him books later, actively defend him (in front of Snape and Umbridge), to the point that Hermione, who figured out he was a werewolf, decided to trust him and defended him as well.

How did this happen? It also didn't seem like Remus wanted to teach so much, it even sounded like he was coerced into it by Dumbledore who tracked him down. Yet, he came prepared, with his neat little suitcase he carefully repaired and sewed together, he even stamped "Professor R.J Lupin" on it (ACTUALLY CANON OMG). He even received praise from Madam Pomfrey "So we've finally got a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies?". He was PREPARED. He gave hands on lessons (there is a whole paragraph in the beginning of Chapter 8 describing how good his lessons are), a fun practical exam, he always deflected conflicts (regarding Malfoy's snarky remarks and rage baits), he immediately spots Neville as anxious and puts him forward in the first class to give him a little confidence boost (literally the first professor to ever praise Neville), he had a subtle but funny humour (I'm referring to the time Harry had tea in his office "I've only got teabags, I'm afraid -- but I daresay you've had enough of tea leaves?"). The CUTEST THING is him giving Harry a set of very nice, useful books for Christmas in OotP along with Sirius. Like, how thoughtful???

We often refer to him as "grey" but to me he seems more polarized. Like he is ALL or NOTHING. Fatherly yet cold, caring yet distant, supportive yet absent. Tbh sometimes I just wanna grab his shoulders and give him a shake. How does one spot a student like Neville so easily, boosts him up, and then just goes and does exactly what Neville is doing (cowarding away, throwing self-confidence out the window).

He makes me so mad. I love him so much. Sorry I didn't mean for this to turn into such a rant (expect another msg on Remus' interactions with Severus in a near future).

no this isn't spam this is delicious yum yum yum I've thought for awhile that I wanna go through Remus and Severus' teaching methods. I'm reading POA right now, a chapter a night or so to my boyfriend (He was 'a bit too old' for HP when it came out, so he's enjoying it now) So I'm paying attention lol

Whether Remus didn't want to teach and Albus had to beg him - or teaching did appeal to him but he thought as a werewolf it would just never be a possibility... he really took to it, didn't he? His suitcase AAHHHH how can one man be SO FUCKING CUTE

I think it's down to being a good mix of skills for him:

He manipulates people to like him. He makes himself pleasant, helpful, positive, charming... that's a good quality for a teacher! To be able to control a whole class of kids takes some sort of manipulation - and Remus is already practiced. He is good at reading people, who they are and what they need... His best quality as a teacher is the fact he can connect to his students emotionally - a rare quality for Hogswarts staff.

That and he just seems to like the kids. He is a bit of a kid himself at heart - while also enjoying being a mentor. Being nurturing. Impressing them. Learning all their names. Showing off his skills. Helping them. Making class fun and engaging. A practical as their first lesson: where he shows them they are capable of handling even their worst fears...

DADA is a good subject for him - he is a strong spellcaster (can cast a patronus effortlessly), Was a spy amongst dark creatures and Death Eaters in the first war - and has a father that specialized in the field. Lyall studied boggarts, poltergeists and dementors - what does Remus do on his very first few days...? Scare off a dementor, show off against a poltergeist - and teach the kids how to deal with a boggart. Just like his own dad. Probably where he knows the chocolate remedy from too, imo Also was the dementor there for him because it could sense he was a werewolf?

Snape mentions later that Lupin lacks organization, is 'hardly over-taxing' the class teaching them first year stuff - that the class is very behind. He might be exaggerating because he hates Lupin (though why say anything at all...?) - but Snape is a good teacher. Not perfect, but despite demanding a high bar for his NEWTs classes they are always well populated. He is good at his job. If he says Lupin is disorganized, behind and focusing on the easy stuff, I believe him at least partially. Maybe his standards are just too high, made worse by hating Lupin and being desperate in the one class he might have with the third years to get them warned about werewolves.

But if those are Lupin's only failings in his first year...? Lupin's a natural at teaching. He is just a bit behind and disorganized - when he spends multiple days a month disabled. And he excels at the area Snape struggles most in: Being able to alter how he teaches to support struggling students. Considering the fact the classes last two teachers were a very distracted Quirrell (underrated character) and an incompetent Lockheart - teaching first year stuff and going easy is probably the best option. He has assessed the level of the class and matched it.

Calling Lupin all-or-nothing is... pretty apt, really. I often think of him as lukewarm, but you're right: It's not that he mingles around half-doing things. he does shit 100% or he is gone. Teacher, 'mentor', Order member, spy, partner... all either done brilliantly - or he is someone Albus needs to track down.

[trancylovecraft]

Can I get headcanons for panty anarchy x reader?

(PASWG) YANDERE! PANTY ANARCHY x READER: General Headcannons

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

Oooh nice one!

Panty Anarchy as a yandere I see as one of the less dangerous yandere's in this verse though to be fair none of them are THAT dangerous.

Not to say she isn't bad though. Far fucking from it!

I see her as an Obsessive, Clingy and Jealous kind of yandere. Perhaps Semi-Manipulative with a tinge of sadism too.

Obsessive in the way she just adores you. She thinks you're just the cutest thing and absolutely loves to tease you. Panty likes learning about you, Collecting some of your items

Clingy in the way she always has a hand touching you somewhere (I am now realising how bad that sounds once I type it out). An arm slugged over your shoulder, Hand holding as she takes you along. Panty is always following you around, Talking your ear off usually.

Jealous in the way that she just does NOT like anyone talking to you. Anyone that does interact with you she instantly grows a strong distaste for, Why would you be talking to anyone when she is right here? Panty's an angel, The hottest AND the most charming person you've met so why are you talking to them?

Leads us onto our next point. Semi-Manipulative in the way she instantly bad talks them to you, A lot of cuss words and disgusting metaphors. I don't think Panty's even aware she's manipulating you and changing your worldview, She tells you she gets a "Bad vibe" from them and to stay away.

And finally, Semi-Sadistic in the way she likes to tease you. Panty enjoys bantering with you and taking shots at one another, Loving the expressions of hurt or any reaction you may give. Don't worry though, If it gets too much she will apologise as she lazily tosses you a snack as payment.

She doesn't really remember how her obsession started, Panty just saw you one day said "God damn! They're HOT!" and your fate was sealed.

Panty, Unlike other yandere's wastes no time on approaching you. Instantly strutting up to you and starting to flirt with you to no end. At first, Panty treats this like any other man or woman she's trying to get with.

But when you start turning down her advances, She's standing there stunned. Even more so when you start hitting her back with her own lines, Matching her own flirtatious attitude perfectly.

Panty stands there flustered for the first time in her life. She can't say anything as you flirt back to her, Every little word you say makes her blush profusely. All before a shot of blood erupts from her nose and she falls unconscious on the floor.

Afterwards, She's hooked.

It's not just sexual anymore. Panty feels romantically attracted to you too, At first she finds this icky since romance just isn't her deal. Whenever Stocking mocks her for how she's feeling Panty is suddenly more defensive.

But once she finally settles with it her eyes are set on you entirely. Her hook-ups become less frequent since she's so busy on befriending and hopefully getting you in her bed.

Panty starts following you around. She begins to tease you, It's her way of talking. She keeps making innuendo's and hints at her feelings, You however shrug it off as you both start to gain somewhat of a friendship and see it banter. For you at least, Panty sees it waaaay differently.

Panty, As your relationship continues grows more and more enthralled in you. To the point she even starts slacking off when killing ghosts, Stocking is annoyed by this but Panty could not give a fuck.

Panty constantly mocks you. Sometimes pushing you around in a flirtatious way but nothing more than that.

She really starts to lean into the romantic stuff, Though she is not experienced in it whatsoever. It's also the reason why it comes off as banter when she shoves a bouquet in your hand, Her inexperience makes it look playful and platonic.

This starts to irritate Panty though she doesn't say anything about it. She believes if she throws enough bouquets into your hands and tosses you enough chocolate (It's Stockings) she'll date you soon enough.

That mentality only stops however once you start to go out with other friends.

Panty is absolutely baffled why. She's been working her ass off to try and get into your pants yet you want to hang out with other people? Panty is the hottest bitch here, Why the hell would you want to talk to anyone else?

Her jealous tendencies instantly kick in and she starts ranting off to you about the people you've been hanging around. She's throwing out every cuss word she can think of (its in the four figure digits) and starts telling you how horrible they are.

You instantly start telling her to back off. These are your friends you've known all your life and you've only known her for maybe a few months, She's acting real controlling and you don't like it.

After her blow-up at you, You decide you should start distancing yourself from her. Much to her chagrin of course, Especially once she see's that the time you spent with her is spent with them now.

Even more so when you seem to be getting.. Intimately close.

That's when she just can't handle it. Panty couldn't give two fucks if you cry or scream, She shoots your partner square in the head with a gun. Barely giving a shit once you yell out and run away.

Panty doesn't understand it either as she chases after you. Quickly catching up due to her angelic strength as she tackles you to the ground, Getting on top of you and threatening you at gunpoint.

You're crying as she acts just as normal as she usually does. Still throwing what she considers banter at you, You try to get away but she's too strong for you to do anything about it.

Before you know it you're thrown into the back of her car and driven off towards the church.

Now you enter the domestic stage.

You live in Panty's room from now on. Ignoring all the suggestive stuff you're basically locked in there forever, She doesn't let you out except to go to the bathroom.

Panty really could care less. She doesn't take anything seriously. While she is completely in love with you that doesn't mean she's delusional, Don't try to manipulate her into letting you out because she will figure it out.

She won't force anything on you other than maybe sleeping together and physical affection. Even though she is rather horny 24/7 she understands the importance of consent and won't do anything you're not comfortable with sexually.

Not romantically though. Panty still expects a kiss or two and keeps up with her touchy attitude. This time it's more intimate since she's decided courting is over.

Hugging, Cuddling, Lying in bed with her or general indoor PDA is all the rage with her. She's still new to this romantic stuff (Or in her words: "She feels like a fuckin' virgin again") and still get's flustered.

Panty loves you a lot but she doesn't say it. Her love language is touch and quality time, If you try to get her to admit it she'll get huffy and mock you more

If you try and escape it's most definetly possible. Though trust me it would be TOUGH. Gaining her trust or pretending to love her more than you actually do would be a good way.

Afterwards once she lowers her guard and leaves the door unlocked you could make a run for it.

If you do manage to get out she would be PISSED. Like you've been playing her this entire time and she's bloody angry, Hell and heaven are shaking rn kinda angry.

Panty would 24/7 be looking for you. She doesn't care who she has to diddle to get you back, She will, At any cost.

Once she does she'll drag you back screaming and crying by the hair or your legs, Yelling and cursing you out as you're unable to get out.

Once you're back she will NOT trust you again, Not for a long while. Not for a good few years. Your room will be double padlocked and you'll be locked in a closet when she's away for a few weeks.

Good luck :)

[all-about-kyu]

Summary: Ten just looks so pretty in your skirt. Pairing: Ten x fem!reader Tropes: friends with benefits au Genre: smut Rating: R 18+ Warnings: Ten in a skirt, language Smut Warnings: pegging, feminization (calling male anatomy female anatomy, feminine pet names/pronouns used, etc.), clothed sex, dirty talk, praise kink, a little degradation Word Count: 1,107 Host Tags: @sanjoongie @thelargefrye Note: thank you to @stardragongalaxy and @anyamaris for beta/proofing this Before You Interact February Filth Masterlist

Listen to ♡ Bad New (ENG ver) by Kiss of Life

“Ten, why are you in my closet?” You call from your bed. 

There isn’t a response. You can hear him rooting through your things, though. Shaking your head, you look back at your phone, scrolling through posts mindlessly. A cacophony of clatters startles you out of your scrolling again. It’s very obvious that Ten knocked something over. With a sigh, you roll out of bed and make your way to your walk-in closet. The sight you’re greeted with is something you aren’t sure how to process at first. The ground is covered in hangers and random clothing items. Your friend, however, is wearing your clothes: a pretty black pleated skirt and a cropped white button-up top. You want to be upset with him for literally making a bomb of clothing and hangers blow up in your closet, but at the same time, you want nothing more than to destroy him. His long blonde hair is mostly loose, other than the little bit tied back into a small bun. 

When he looks up at you, there’s a glimmer of shock in the cutest way possible. You step closer to him and take the edge of the skirt in your hand. You just play with the fabric for a few moments without saying a word. Ten shuffles slightly, making the hangers clatter as they shift by your feet. 

“You having fun, pretty baby?” You ask, voice slightly sultry.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, “I wanted to try this on a while ago. When you first showed me it, honestly.”

You release the fabric and place a hand on his bare waist, “You look pretty like this. So damn pretty.”

“Whatcha gonna do about it then?” He teases.

You smirk and squeeze his waist slightly before moving to grab his hand. Pulling him from the closet, you guide him toward your bed and instantly push him so he lies flat on his back. The shirt shifts slightly, just enough for you to see the bottom of his chest tattoo. You let your hands wander under the loose fabric to play with his chest. It’s something you found out before you started hooking up. His nipples are severely sensitive, and you’re always happy to take advantage of that knowledge in and out of the bedroom. Ten squirms under your touch. No matter how often you play with his chest or how much you fixate on it from session to session, he’ll never be used to the feeling. 

“You want me to fuck you in your pretty skirt, baby?”

“Please,” he whines, “want you to use me.”

You smirk at his response, standing up to wander back to your closet. Digging into one of the tall cupboards, you pull your strap out. You strip all of your clothing before walking back into the bedroom. When you look at Ten, you see he’s already pulled his underwear off from under the skirt. He’s hard and leaking a bit with desperation. You hear him let out a small whimper when you secure the strap on your body. Stepping closer, you absentmindedly play with his thighs just out of the way of where he needs you. You dig through your bedside table to find the lube. As much as you love to play with him and use your spit, right now, you need to fuck him while he wears your skirt. There’s no room for teasing or oral today. You pour a generous amount of lube onto your fingers and rub it together to warm it up a bit. Ten bucks his hips up when your hand just barely grazes against him.

“Hmm?” You question, “Do you want me to play with your clit, princess?”

Ten lets out a broken moan when you refer to his cock as a clit. His desperate state only gets worse when the pet name ‘princess’ falls from your lips. It’s not something you indulge in often, but today it felt right. 

“Please, w-want you to–” His words get cut off when you start running your fingers along his rim.

“Want me to what?” You tease, “I’m not even fingering you yet, and you’re already a wreck? Such a pathetic baby.”

You push your fingers into him, stretching him out and getting him ready for your cock. Ten moans at the intrusion and fists the skirt in his hands. He pulls the hem up against his hips, letting you have a full view of everything. The white button-up isn’t hiding anything, either. It’s pushed up over his chest. The only part of his body it covers is his arms and collarbones. You finally bring your hand to where he wants you to touch the most. He lets out a high-pitched whine when you finally wrap your hand around him. 

“Aww, does my pretty princess like being touched like this? Having her little clit and hole played with?”

He nods fervently, “Yes! Fuck, yes! I love it, want–” he cuts himself off with another moan as you finger him faster. 

“Hmm? What does my princess want?”

“Fuck me!” He nearly yells, “Use my pussy like a common whore.”

Your eyes darken at his comment. He’s stretched enough that you could fuck him without hurting him in the process. There’s still going to be a bit of a stretch when you first push in. It’s something he enjoys, though, as long as you’re not causing lasting marks or pain, he couldn’t care how rough you are with him. Lining your strap up with his wet hole, you push in. Ten brings a hand up to cover his mouth as his eyebrows furrow. Your hand continues to play with his leaking cock as you push to be fully inside him.

“I wish you could see yourself, princess. You look like a damn wet dream. Cute little pussy swallowing me, clit so sensitive while I play with it.”

“P-please,” he whines, “please fuck me.”

You smirk, tugging his cock unexpectedly as you give a very sharp first thrust. He tosses his head back in pleasure. You don’t let him get out a single coherent word as you fuck into him at a brutal pace. The skirt has bits of precum on it. Each time his tip brushes against the fabric, he bucks his hips, attempting to get more of the feeling. His ponytail fell out a while ago. Now, seeing how his pretty blonde locks layout on your mattress makes him look even more fucked out and pretty.

“You want me to use you like a common whore, princess?” You ask, through a growl, “You better get ready for one hell of an afternoon.”

COPYRIGHT STARLITMARK 2024© ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — reposting/modifying any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations are not permitted. 

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @kwritersworld @k-vanity

Tag List: @bratty-tingz @yeosangiess @minjaeluver @abbietwilight @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

HEY WHO WANTS AN UPDATE ON MY VACATION THAT NO ONE ASKED FOR? Lmao well sucks for you this is a monarchy and I am Prince and you're getting it anyway:

1. My friends and I went down to eat breakfast. The waiter asked them what language their native tongue is, Kannada or Tulu or anything else, and before they could answer he pointed at me and said (in Kannada), "I knew this one speaks English as soon as I looked at them. With people like this I just go full butler and restrict myself to yes or no."

2. Yes I fucking got called out as a whitewashed piece of shit by a random waiter who took one look at me. The worst part is he's right. English is my first language.

3. I saw a lot of human kidneys and they were THE CUTEST THINGS EVER THERE WERE SO MANY I WAS SO HAPPY UNFORTUNATELY I COULDN'T HOLD ANY BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO LOOK AT THE CUTIES.

4. I made a lot of intense eye contact with dead babies to evade the Birds. To be fair, most of the babies had, um, closed eyes. Or no eyes. I promise I wouldn't have been making that much eye contact without the Birds. I'd have been looking at the kidneys instead. No i will not be elaborating for fear of freaking people out.

5. It was legal btw. Aside from the photo my friend took of me making the two fingered salute (like the dude smiling next to the grave meme) next to a foetus that was at least slightly demonic in origin.

6. Anyway so then I spoke to my other friend and told her how I felt (about being afraid that they didn't see me as a guy because they've known me since I was 11) and she said it wasn't that, she was just getting used to the new name and pronouns and that was all (since I only came out to her two days ago). And I hugged her.

7. My friends have all been using Asmi for me and correcting themselves with their pronouns. I love them and I want to cry.

8. I saw two men holding hands in front of me at the mall. A very careful holding of hands, delicately. But I think they saw me glance at them, because when they got on the escalator in front of me, they untangled their hands and when one reached for the other's hand again, he pulled it away, and they both carefully stayed on their phones. I don't know. Just something I'm thinking about.

9. Maybe I should take off the progress pride pin from my denim jacket and just wear it everywhere I go. Fuck blending in with the cishets I want the queers to know I exist and they're not alone.

And those were the highlights of my day <3 A totally normal vacation for real.

Have the loveliest of days my maggots I'll be back home in two days and then I'll have all my attention to annoy you with, my loves. And a social battery, which currently is dead by night because of irl interactions.

I'll sleep now. The Horrors will be occupied with me, I hope they leave you alone.

I love you 💕

[yakumtsaki]

-Oh Sunset, I'm so lucky to be in a loving relationship with such a kind, loyal and non-criminally insane person such as yourself!

You're so on the money, buddy, the only thing you missed was 'sexually repelled by cousins'.

-I CAN'T DO THIS, TYLER, YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME -I'm sorry! Also my name is Ty! -I KNOW BUT IT'S A STUPID NAME AND I'M NOT CALLING YOU THAT

She's right, Ty, and to top it off your last name isn't Union, it's like you're not even trying!

Bruh.. This chain of interactions from the hugging to the insulting to the making out took place in about 1 minute, I can't believe Stacy and Julian of all couples produced Sunset. Why can't you be more like your parents?? They were my cutest, healthiest couple ever!!

-They only thing they cared about having sex 50 a times a day! Aunt June basically raised me!!

Omg I'm looking at the pics of the spare updates I never posted because I suck and YA SHE DID, that explains so much, June is truly the platonic ideal of the hot-batshit combo.

Speaking of batshit-

-And hot!

If you say so, Barth is putting the moves on Marla Biggs, whomst we last saw when June (there she is again) used her to dump Erik-

-Yes, and that one wolf whistle from June turned me gay for all eternity, so don't even bother!

-UGH. So I guess I have no choice..

-..but to sleep with another one of my second cousins! -Oh Barth, I can't believe this is finally happening!!! -I know, Cyan, it took way too long!

We've been here for a week.

-Don't worry, nothing will interrupt this magical moment-WHAT THE FUCK I'M BEING CHEATED ON GOTTA RUN SORRY CYAN CATCH YOU LATER

Ok apparently I was laughing too hard to take a decent pic, but yes, BARTHOLOMEW CAUGHT HIS COUSIN 'CHEATING' ON HIM AS HE WAS HOOKING UP WITH HIS OTHER COUSIN. I HATE MY GAME.

-AND I HATE YOU, SUNSET. YOU BROKE MY HEART -FUCK YOU, BARTHOLOMEW, I'M NOT GONNA BE PART OF YOUR SECOND COUSIN HAREM -I HOPE YOU DROWN IN THE POOL -This was so beautiful, Sunset, I think I'm falling in love with you💙 -GET OUT OF HERE, TYLER -It's Ty! -NO ONE CARES, ASSHOLE -DON'T TALK TO TYLER LIKE THAT -That's not my name! -IT IS NOW, SHUT UP

I gotta hand it to Ty, he's in it to win it, whatever it is one could possibly 'win' when it comes to Sunset.

-Oh Sunset, you're the queen of my heart! -Gross!🥰

-Aw baby, I love spending all our awake time woohooing and doing nothing interesting, huhu!🌞 -It really is the best, thanks to your horrific LTW we don't even have to try! It's so awful people are bound to vote for us just to watch the trainwreck!

Ya I wish I had a counter-argument but you two really have this thing figured out, even I wanna watch me have a mental breakdown trying to raise your 6 asshole kids.

-Our kids are not gonna be assholes!🌞

LOL YA OK MEADOW, whatever helps you sleep at night.

-Meadow and Felina are not the only ones with a perfect relationship! Britannicus and I are also deeply in love!! I'm writing a novel about it as we speak!!!

Jimmy no offense but I literally forgot you live here and I can barely remember who Britannicus is half the time.

-THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED

Oh Britannicus here you are, thank God, you're so indispensable to this legacy!

-All you main-houser bitches look down on me but I have a lot to offer!! I'm grandpa Gunther's heir!!!

Of course you are, now give us the pizza so the people who matter don't die.

-I'll show you! I'll show you all!! >:(

Yes yes, it's been lovely catching up-

-and now it's time to get serious and break Cyan and Barth up! Hit us with your best shot, Marg, we've been on a winning streak lately with those matches, please don't go back to Cyn's leftovers.

-Got you, say no more..

-Here's Kennedy Cox!

MARGARET

-Well it's very hard to find someone Cyneswith hasn't banged!

Ok ya that's very true but Cyan is understandably like 😬 so let's try this again, here's another dollar.

-Alright, you didn't want Cyneswith leftovers..

-How about Sandy the Zombie leftovers??

I hope I don't have to explain to you why that's SO MUCH WORSE

-And I hope I don't have to explain to you that you get what you pay for when you give a dollar for a date!

Fucking touche, Marg, get out of here.

And now for another sequence of events so absolutely ridic I'm just gonna describe it with no dialogue:

So I send Cyan inside to check the college directory thing and see what available bachelors we might booty call up, but there's no one that I like for her so I send her back out to ask Margaret for another dollar date-

-once outside, we find BRITANNICUS SERENADING BARTHOLOMEW, to which Cyan has no reaction as she's probably too shocked-

-poor dumbass loved up Jimmy has no clue and is inside getting high-

-Cyan asks Marg for another date as Barth is performing the Second Cousin Vagina Monologues-

-Margaret gives us Neon Vest Zomb AGAIN and I'm like wtf-

-at which point Britannicus, who just one moment ago was serenading Barth, WOLF WHISTLES AT CYAN-

-CAUSING BARTH TO FEEL CHEATED ON AND DUMP HER

-BETRAYED BY MY OWN BLOOD TWICE IN ONE DAY! OH, THE SHAME!

BARTH SHUT UP. BRITANNICUS WHAT. THE. HELL

-I told you! >:D

Ok you know what, at least with this I feel we have peaked and there is simply no way the situation in this house can get more insane and degenerate-

-Think again!

NO FUCKING WAY. NO. SPICE WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE DATING ELDERLY GOOD WITCH, I SPECIFICALLY FOUND YOU A GF TO KEEP YOU OUT OF THIS BS

-I know but there's something almost genetically inherited drawing me to Cyan! -Yes, It's almost like our parents were into each other but there was some invisible force separating them!

YA THAT WAS THE LAWS OF NATURE

-Oh please, it was the extended family mod and we no longer have to function under its oppression!

NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE IS REMOTELY FUNCTIONING. You know what, enjoy this while it lasts because I'm breaking every single one of you mofos up, istg I feel like I'm fighting the Hydra, I chop one semi-incestuous head off and two others pop up. WELL I'LL WIN LIKE HERACLES

I'd like to end this disgusting update with this image of the rose Ty left for Sunset next to the flaming shitbag Neon Vest Zombie left for Cyan. What is this world coming to that men no longer appreciate you cheating on them with 2 of your cousins during a date?? Chivalry is dead!

[ncityprincess]

one last present 🎁 ♥️

pairing: yuta x y/n

plot: this is extremely corny and stereotypical but i wanted to write it anyway 😁 y/n has a sexy little christmas surprise for her boyfriend yuta. also this is very loosely based off of @neoculturecollectives Yuta role play fic series. it wasn't supposed to be a role play thing but the pieces just kinda fell into place lmaoo 😭. songs I listened to while writing this (no correlation to the story but I just wanted to add these in lol): drunk on you by jus2, square biz by Teena Marie, you calling my name by got7, blue orangeade by txt, 2 on by tinashe

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!!

“i actually have a few more presents for you. wait for me out here, i’ll be right back” you said with a sweet smile. you and yuta had gotten a little too intoxicated last night at your family’s annual christmas eve party. needless to say you two spent christmas morning and christmas afternoon knocked out cold with the curtains closed.

“more?? you already went overboard with the gifts this year, sweet pea” yuta said as he took a look at the mess of gift boxes and wrapping paper that littered the living room. it was your guys’ first christmas together in your new house. you wanted to make it extra special and memorable. “yeah yeah, mr. modest. just get nice and comfy and i’ll be back in a few.” before yuta could protest you sprang up and skipped to the bedroom. yuta shook his head, but did exactly as you asked and got to work cleaning up in the meantime.

you grabbed the hidden shopping bag from the back of your closet and pulled out the red, lacy number. you had seen this sexy lingerie set at victoria’s secret while you were out shopping one day and you just had to have it. yuta was like a starved man when it came to seeing you in lingerie. it didn’t matter much, or how little you left to the imagination. he loved seeing you dressed up in dainty little garments. you felt hot in them, he loved fucking you them. a win for all parties involved.

you stepped into the red negligée and admired the red bows on the straps. the crimson color complimented your skin nicely. you slipped on a pair of stilettos and finished off the look with some red lipstick. you took one last look at yourself in the mirror before fluffing up your hair. let the games begin, you thought to yourself.

when you opened the door you saw yuta in the kitchen throwing away the last of the wrapping paper. he had no idea what he was in for. “excuse me, can you please help me find santa’s workshop? i’m a little lost” you said in a soft, seductive voice. yuta whipped his head around and his eyes immediately went dark. you had him right where you wanted him.

“holy shit babe, what are you doing to me?” he growled. “don’t you like it? i’m like a little present you can unwrap.” you did a slow spin for him so that he could get the full essence of the outfit. yuta stalked over to you slowly, taking in your delicious curves and beauty. “of course i do, sweet pea. but why are you looking for santa when i’m right here?” yuta indulged in your little fantasy you created.

“well, i’m supposed to be with all the other presents in santa’s workshop, but i think he forgot about me” you said with faux sadness. “well shit, i’m not santa, but i can definitely use another present. you gonna let me open you up and play with you baby?” yuta ran his hands up and down your sides and stared down at you like you were his prey.

“uh huh” you bit your lip and looked up at him with the cutest doe eyes you could muster. yuta grabbed your hand and led you to the living room. “why don’t you go lay under the christmas tree for me, sweet pea? show me how pretty my little present is." you walked over toward the christmas tree with an extra sway of your hips and slowly kneeled onto the ground. yuta looked down at you and watched as you arched your back, ass high in the sky on full display. you maneuvered onto your side, resting your head on your hand and posed perfectly for your man.

“do i look pretty for you, sir?” yuta’s dick twitched in his christmas pajamas. you were being so obedient and submissive, it drove him insane. “fuckin' gorgeous, baby. but i’m not really sure how i should use you. why don’t you touch yourself for me, huh? show me how you want me to play with you.”

you wasted no time and stuck two of your fingers into your mouth, getting them nice and slick. your panties were already soaked. you needed something, anything, to relieve the pressure between your thighs. yuta watched closely as your hand slid lower and lower, before they finally landed inside your panties.

you let out a soft moan when your fingers made contact with your sensitive clit. once you felt warmed up you slid one finger inside of you, causing you to throw your head back in ecstasy. “fuck, that's it. make yourself feel real good for me.

you slid a second finger inside of you and spread your legs even wider. you wanted nothing more than to put on the best show possible for Yuta, making sure he saw everything. "can–can you play with me now? please sir?" you whined. Yuta stalked over to you and grabbed your chin firmly.

"since you're my little toy that means I own you, isn't that right baby?" you nodded your head frantically, loving how small he made you feel. "that's what I thought. now, you're gonna keep fucking yourself until I tell you to stop, got it?" Yuta's dark eyes never left yours as he let go of your chin. you sped up your movements as you watched Yuta strip himself of his clothes.

soon after, Yuta pulled your hand from your panties and examined your wet fingers. your chest was heaving due to how worked up you were. he shoved your fingers in your mouth and you moaned at the earthy taste of your arousal. "hands and knees. now." you wasted no time and flipped over. Yuta ran his hands over your plush ass, and landed a harsh smack on it, causing the sound to echo in the living room. you lurched forward at the impact, and Yuta grabbed your hips back into place.

"you're running already? this isn't even the fun part yet, baby." Yuta stroked himself to full hardness, and pulled your red panties over to the side, granting him full access to your dripping hole. Yuta leaned down right next to your ear. "ready, sweet pea?" you pushed your hips back into his, hoping the action would make him enter you already. "mmm yes please sir, I need you." Yuta grazed your earlobe with his teeth and gave you another smack on your ass, chuckling at the yelp you let out.

he slowly sank his member into you, letting out a deep, guttural groan. you arched your back even deeper, bracing yourself for the fucking Yuta was about to give you. he snapped his hips forward harshly, each trust earning a throaty moan from you. "goddamn baby, are all the little fucktoys in the north pole as good as you? this pussy is so fuckin' tight" Yuta gritted out. you smiled through his rough movements. you had almost forgotten about the little scenario you guys were participating in. his dick was hitting all the right spots, it was hard for you to even formulate thoughts.

"yeah? you like playing with me, sir?" you moaned out. Yuta's grip on your hips plus the deep angle he was hitting inside of you made you see stars. "fuck yeah, you're fucking dripping baby." Yuta abruptly halted his movements, causing you to whine out. he flipped you back over onto your back. the dimness of the room and the moody lighting of the christmas tree aided in the sexy ambience of the situation. Yuta put one of your legs onto his shoulder. he felt a cold piece of metal and he looked down at your ankle. it was adorned in a silver chain anklet with a 'Y' charm dangling from it. for Yuta.

you noticed him staring at the piece of jewelry. "do you like your other present, honey?" you asked with a sly smirk. Yuta mirrored your smirk and nibbled at your calf. you felt a shock of electricity run through your body. Yuta slid right back in and wasted no time pounding you roughly. "babyyyyy fuck" you moaned out, grabbing onto your bouncing breasts that spilled out of your bra. Yuta's athleticism never ceased to amaze you. he loved nothing more than to fuck you silly while you laid back and took it.

Yuta put his thumb to your bottom lip and smudged out your red lipstick. you sucked his thumb into your mouth and stared up into his eyes. "fuck baby, you're so fuckin' sexy. can't believe you're all mine." Yuta pulled his thumb from your warm mouth and grabbed your other leg, throwing it over his shoulder. you let out a loud, high pitched moan as he folded your body in half. he put his full weight into each thrust, amplifying the sound of your bodies colliding.

you were so close you could taste it. "sir? I'm–I'm gonna cum. can I please?" you whined out desperately. "go on baby, you've been such a good girl for me. go ahead, cum. now." that's all you needed to hear. your orgasm took over your entire body, causing you to throw your head back. you let out the sexiest moan Yuta ever heard come out of your mouth, and soon after, he came with a loud groan. he buried his face in your neck as he milked out the last few drops of cum.

Yuta finally stilled his hips. you both were panting, trying to catch your breaths after that steamy session. Yuta pulled out of you slowly, and you moaned softly, still sensitive from your high. you felt his warm cum drip out of you, but Yuta used two of his fingers to push it back into you. you jerked your hips at the unexpected action. yuta slapped your pussy playfully, "have I ever told you I love you?" you let out a belly laugh, sitting up to attack him with a big hug. "did you like my present baby?" you asked sincerely. Yuta pulled away from the hug and cupped your face gently with his hands. "like?? I'm pretty sure I just emptied like 7 generations worth of kids into you." your eyes widened and you felt a rush of heat fill your face. "you're a sicko!"

the end 🎁

thanks for reading! please consider leaving a tip if you enjoyed the story 👑🍭

[wasyago]

episode 110 spoilers

just like, random thoughts and stuff, mostly bits that i remembered

i sat down to write this i forgot everything oh my god--

in chip's flashback. the black rose pirates following the king to the big sakura tree, and arlin holding baby chip's hand. this. the cutest shit ever, i think i almost cried at the image of this big badass group of pirates and this itty bitty child led gently by his hand. even if i didn't cry before i sure will right now, baby chip you're so dear to me...

QUEEN! they didn't remember anything aughhhhh ����😭😭😭 and their and chip's little talk about how they're going to put the pieces together :( and their hug :(

whatever drey, finn and earl are doing on the ship... like, what? hello? glad they're having fun tho lol. also wait hold on a second. how did drey answer the call? i mean, probably with his leg or something, if i had to guess. or maybe finn held it up for him. not sure if finn is at it enough to be able to answer the shell by himself, so earl and drey are the only ones who can actually use it. and seing how earl is in a... predicament. hm.

jay saying that when she looks at gillion she sees family. AUGHHHHHHHHHH AUGH AUGH OUGH jay ferin i love you. and this is so important to me not only because like hell yes they're more than friends they're a family, but also for jay of all people, considering her relationship with her blood tied family and how complicated her relationship with this word is.

also girl please do something about your leg, im begging you. the bone is visible, this shit is not going to heal up by itself. i dont know how you're still limping around this must hurt so bad. i guess adrenalin maybe, but still. at least get some bandages or something, i don't know... what is it with jay and her legs actually. she fell off a roof in edison kingdom and landed on a piece of metal that fucked up her leg, and now this.

oh my god niklaus, how could i forget about my babygirl. i mean, what can i say i love this guy. i dont know how many times ive relistened to his intro song, but definitely more than i should've... um. there was a lot of big important lore that i don't have the brain capacity to process rn.... i want to say that niki is the nameless prince and/or the thing trapped in the hole in the sea. because he can only interact with one person at a time by inviting them to his pocket dimension (even with jay it was said that the time around her stopped while she was talking with niklaus), implying that niki is trapped somewhere and this is the only constricted way he can interact with the world. and to answer chip's questions he said he wants freedom more than anything, again implying that right now he doesn't have this freedom. which makes sense, right? but then, the big bad thing was supposedly trapped thousands of years ago (i think?), but niklaus was a world famous pirate lord not so long ago and not trapped anywhere, so.....? idk im probably missing something. can't for the life of me find the moment where they read the nameless prince book so like, whatever.

that moment where jay talked to chip about how she thinks its all her fault and she should've just gave up her arm and leg. and how chip reassures her....... them 🥺🤲 kind of inspired by that post abt chip and jay i reblogged earlier, but these two talking about their emotions and feelings is so dear to me. just, being human with each other and opening up. gill is great ofc, but i feel like for these two its much easier to talk to each other to feel understood and heard. i love them.....

chip is still very much dead and probably won't be resurrected any time soon, so... hooray new undead chip design! but also oh my god my poor boy... forever 19... (also charlie and condi being surprised that chip is only 19. yeah </3) my poor guy my poor baby, he sounds so beaten and depressed in the beginning of the episode, its just breaking my heart qwq...

star and zamia <333 hehe

chip trying to marry igneous. lol. darling chill out, you just got out of one unsuccessful marriage and it didn't teach you anything, you're dead, you're only 19, you've known this guy for like, 2 days? don't get me wrong, godspeed to chip, but cmon man take him out to dinner first or something

and uhhh. the end, that's all i got

[mrfartpowered]

okay ik I haven’t posted much abt lize’s and my post-canon timeline but I wanna talk abt how the Weinerham Family (weinerhamily) celebrates the 4th of July!!! here’s what u need to know

Randy & Howard are gay married and have a set of twins, June & B (seen on @cunningweiner). Also their legal last name is Weinerham

Mort & Viceroy are gay dating. Hannibal and Marci are happily married as well. the four of them have some sort of polycule thing going on. No they can’t explain it <3 and neither can i

Debbie & Theresa are gay married and family friends of the Weinerhams/the Evil Polycule. they have a son, Dewey, who is a couple years younger than the twins

Heidi is gay dating Morgan and they are #childfree

Bash fucks off to Europe soon after graduating high school and Marci lets him “spread his wings” (he does not attend the family gathering)

they are a very weird, very big, oddly happy family

AND NOW!!! SILLY HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES BELOW THE CUT

Every summer the Weinerman clan & company spend a week at a McFist lake house out at Lake Papoose. The 4th of July usually falls in the middle or the end of these trips, and it’s a huge Thing™️ every time.

When the tradition began, Mort and Viceroy had recently started dating, and Bash was still obligated to attend family vacations. Heidi/Morgan and Theresa/Debbie would not join the group for a couple more years. Randy and Howard were together, but not yet married and not yet fathers. The first 4th of July on the lake, the two of them snuck away from the McFists + Mort with a handful of fireworks, stolen from Viceroy’s stash. They only meant to fuck around with some sparklers, maybe a couple fountains. But SURPRISE! Bash crashes the moment with a bigass Roman candle. Randy and Howard try to shoo him away and it turns into an argument. Mid-scuffle, the Roman candle goes off. A grassfire starts. No one gets hurt, but it’s safe to say everyone is a little peeved for the rest of the trip. Bash only attends one more lake vacation after that before fucking off to Europe.

In the “present day” — meaning, all the kids are born, all the couples are married, the tradition is firmly established — everyone gets along quite well, sans-Bash. Randy and Hannibal kinda grate on each other, even though neither of them can quite put a finger on why the other is so irritating, but their love for the collective family outweighs the annoyance. Heidi and Morgan make incredible cocktails for the adults. Theresa always makes the cutest, tastiest America-themed snacks and desserts. Viceroy and Marci chat for hours on the porch. Debbie and Howard gossip and watch bad Hallmark movies for fun. Dewey, June, and B always get into some shenanigan or other. It’s all quite domestic and fun. In this timeline they really are a weird, happy, tight-knit family. I could go on and on about how everybody interacts with each other but then this post would never ever end

Even bigger than the fireworks, though, is the Annual Weinerman-McFist-Weinerham-Fowler-Kang Paddleboard Tournament on the Water!

Okay, yeah, it’s a mouthful, but here’s the gist of it: on the lake directly behind the McFist lake house, a ways from the shore, two paddle boards are anchored, nearby one another, but far enough apart that they won’t crash. Anyone wanting to participate, whether child or adult, is randomly paired against someone else, forming a tournament bracket. Each pair swims out to the boards, armed with one of those foam jousting sticks. Then. They Fight. In order to move up in the bracket, you must knock your opponent completely into the water.

Why is it such a big deal for the Weinerhamily? Because everyone single one of them is a competitive asshole! Except for Marci and Viceroy, who referee the event. And in order to participate, you must bring something to contribute to the Victory Pile, which is a pile of the brucest prizes, all of which belong to the ultimate winner. And everyone always goes buck-fucking-WILD with the Victory Pile. Fine wines, Disneyworld tickets, $100 gift cards, gaming consoles have all been seen in the Pile.

For a while, the victor changed year to year…until Debbie’s first win. After which, she becomes undefeated. But this doesn’t deter anybody, no — they get MORE competitive trying to take her out. Nobody understands how she’s so good at it. They just know she packs a LOT of force into such a tiny body.

Hannibal’s usually out in the first round (unless he’s paired against a child), at which point he pouts for a while until he remembers that he can spend the rest of the Tournament heckling whoever took him out.

Howard is a force to be reckoned with — low center of gravity makes him hard to knock over! — and so is his girl, June, by sheer force of will. Morgan is also a powerful foe, while Heidi is quite average. Randy has quick reflexives, but is fairly easy to knock over once he runs out of energy to dodge. B usually ends up laughing too hard to actually fight, and Dewey is the youngest, so everyone knows he doesn’t stand a chance. Theresa plays quite casually once her wife starts winning the Victory Pile every year.

that’s really all I wanted to say abt this but PLS feel free to ask me or Lize abt this timeline/the Weinerhamily Lake Holiday in my asks or the replies of this post !!!!!!! happy America day or whatever

[fishermanshook]

MY DUMBASS DELETED THE FUCKING REQUEST IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭

anyways…

yan!mercenary who’s like Kafka x gn!reader

I’m so sorry but I literally have never played LC before 😭😭😭, grammar and spelling warning!

The Mercenary is a cold and selfish person who had killed many in the past. His heart is as cold as ice and would’ve stayed that way if he never had gone to the manor.

If he had never met you.

—

What do you do when you fall in love? When your head over heals? Probably not gaslight, guilt trip, and possibly kill over it. Right?

But Naib Subedar has never been in love, nor has he (probably) ever seen it. So when you manage to befriend him (despite the handful of people who told you not to…) you hadn’t realized what you were getting yourself into.

He enjoys teasing and flirting with you just to see what kind of reaction you give him. Seeing if you’ll get all defensive (which he loves) or if you’ll go beet red in the face (which he adores).

He LOVES showing off and managing to impress you. He carried you to the exit gate once because you were hurt and he “didn’t want you to get injured more then you already were”. You were all red and trying to cover your face with your hands and he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. You mumble a little “thank you” before he puts you down to enter in the code to the gate. He’s got a smirk plastered on his face as he leaves with your hand in his.

When this man gets obsessed, he gets OBSESSED. And while I’m sure that you can say that about any yandere, Naib wouldn’t hesitate to pull out all the stops on trying to get you to himself.

He thinks that this is just him showing how much he loves and care about you. How he adores you and you alone. How nobody could ever replace you, and that you’ve stolen his heart and are keeping it captive. The Mercenary doesn’t know the difference.

He’s possessive, obviously. Assuming that you don’t have a clique or many close friends in the manor, he won’t hesitate to spread rumors. Saying that he overheard one of your friends say something negative about you, and that you should probably drop them.

Wouldn’t waste a second if he had to kill someone. When he sees you getting too close with someone, their a goner.

You soon realize that all of your friends/crushes are either dead or don’t wanna go near you in fear of getting killed themself. The only person who you can interact with nowadays is Naib, who would’ve guessed!!!

But by the time you notice, it’s too late. Naib’s got you all to himself now. And with everyone else who’s left him in his life (either willingly or unwillingly…) he won’t let you go so easily. No, not this time and not the next.

Not till death does thy part.

note: hahaha get it? cause they can’t die??? hahahaha so funny!!! (also I am SO sorry again I did NOT mean to delete this persons request) (also this request was total shit IM SO SORRY 😭😭😭) (I really hope this person sees it and likes it)

(2023)©️fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, plagiarize, or repost my work on any other platform

[carmenized-onions]

chap pap 2 - electric boogaloo (well actually it’s about plumbing)

you ever start writing and you just cannot seem to find an end so you keep going forever? yeah. - 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ i would kill to read your drafts anyhooo

Sitting in the back corner booth (your favourite) with Syd - yoooo the one she sat in with carmy and also mikey’s carving!! tony’s restaurant!! the circles are circling

“You wish you were dead when you’re there, but you’d rather be dead than do anything else?” - onion you are just describing life on a movie set (also i want to find a new nickname for you but i’m struggling)

“Dad cut the cord on his business phone when it transferred to me” - not entirely true now is it chippy!! well maybe it is but i just remember the thing about her not wanting people to be able to reach her after mikey

squidink are so cute, their lil morning date, and what’d you know they shared a smoochy smooch after

You would argue you're not even that close, but he'd slap you upside the head. - AS HE SHOULD!! (i’d go to war for their friendship)

you told Mikey he was getting a mold problem. - chippy is just superior

“S’been a while since he’s had a good influence.” - chippy being close with louis and eva just makes me:’))))

“I’m just saying, you’re alike.” - the way they all see it. oh be still my beating heart

He makes you jump for it - my 5’1 ass would be fucked. i mean i would TRY, trust, but

if you take all his names. - kicking ass and taking names, literally

On your way to the kitchen, you’re stopped and walked backwards to a booth in the corner by Richie. - this makes me emotional. i love them so much stop

not Richie coming with your ice water, but Carmen - pookie!!! wait now i just see the word poo, okay scratch that- BABYBOY!!!<3<3

He pauses mid slide into the booth, sitting across from you. He seemed all cool and collected and is now suddenly extremely caught off guard. Already sweaty. “Y-yeah, I’m better, thank you—” - this is the cutest interaction in the whole series. YEAH I SAID IT

“Carmy is fine. Tony is fine?” “I’m doing okay, yeah.” - HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UNHEALTHILY OBSESSED WITH THEM

You nod down at the dish. “Do the thing.” - i mean i know she’s the guy, but the way they seem so comfortable with each other (like old friends) already is so special to me

Two things can be true - they can!!

“It’s the plate, isn’t it? I told Syd—” - the plate 🥹 rip to a real one (jk it survived, but it was almost a frisbee)

You put a hand on his knee to stop the shaking - now i’m shaking

You’re nothing. You’re— - she and carmy are soooo similar ugh

“Who needs a coffee? Or water?” - my fave barista!!

Marcus has fresh coffee beans (that he’s willing to share!) - marcus crumb<33 backgroud bestieee

It’s too worth it, when she says it like that and slaps your cheek - it would add like 10 years to my life for sure

You switch it for a spiced coffee when he’s not looking. He’s silently very thankful. - chip really is that girl we knew she was

supreme favouritism - which carmy later gets<3

“It’s the one oat milk latte I made.” - oat milk!!!

then darts looks over her shoulder like she’s making an under the table deal - i love them and their schemes so much

Fak running by you to steal a coffee off your tray. - he’s so funny aidjeiri

“Collector’s item...” You nod / “That’s what I fuckin’ said!” - don’t think i forgot about this. i actually have not moved on from this moment

You pivot your shoulder for him to throw it over, hands too busy. / He throws it over your shoulder. - THEY’RE SO!!!!!

“Oh, fuck, missed your twists, Chip.” - he’s so💓💖🫶🏼💕

“Fuckin’ terrible, Carm.” - the way mikey would say this oh OH

Why it shot water straight at my tits— Close your eyes - i know he looked away but like 😁😁😁

removing your walls have completely shattered his. - yo this is so cute??

we must remember, I love Syd. - we must remember that is her gf

“You can’t take yourself?” “Bitch?” - LMFAOOO

“Like… an hour?” “It had been 23 minutes.” - Lakskfkfirorikr remember when we had ALL the comedy

“You’re doing a good job, Carmy.” - 🥹🥹🥹 i miss them so much

You’re considering a career in stand up exclusively for him because it feels like such a reward to hear it. - *evaporates*

“I’d say yeah, probably not ready for a relationship” - he is with the right person (please please please)

oh! i almost forgot but what is chip’s coffee order? i was thinking it seems plain based on the writing (her offering to swap if he didn’t like her fancier take) but i could also see her fucking with some syrups

“I know you’re a Michelin star fuckin’ big deal but like, me personally, I can’t name a thing I got perfect the first time I did it.” - i see how similar she and mikey is now, i really do. carmy you’re in love with your brother - well a mix of your brother and yourself

The Berf shall prevail. - aSJHDHEBSBA ONION

For a Bear, she sure knows how to poke one. - YOUR WRITING!!! mwah mwah mwah

“There’s something about a handywoman that Fak cannot match.” - real

She chuckles, slightly. There is something about you that feels familiar. - *clutches chest*

reading the old chapters now is so!!! like knowing the back story and how certain things are panning out (at least for now) just makes it even more enjoyable to read and to catch all your lil hints. you smartass.

Had to answer one last thing before bed (GUESS WHO DIDN’T FINISH THE DRAFT FUCK!!! But I’m like,,, like closing in,, i think,,, I do hate this last scene so far I think I have to barf out all the nonsense and pull back. Pray for me)

You think you would love to read my drafts but if you did you would find— Well actually, here, here’s a list of just some of the edits/beats I wrote for Something to Do. 

Should I be sharing my behind the scenes secrets? Probably not but eh it’s fine. Something to Do had I think the most edits out of any chapter. NONE OF THAT MATTERS THOUGH BABY WE’RE TALKING ABOUT CHAPTER 2 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU AWARE THAT MY DRAFTS ARE,, , BAD. 

Anyways. The circles are fucking CIRCLING. I love(d) injecting world moments like that that weren’t all that relevant in the moment but LATER you’re like OH YEAAHHH THAT THING FROM EARLIER!! Chekov’s table carving. 

100% I’m describing a set, I honestly did just assume every career is like working on a set— You all not in film also wanna die at your jobs but if you weren’t you’d explode, right? Right? I made the right career choice? Right? 

Also NEW NICKNAMES— I don’t love Onion but it seems it has been chosen. And I must live with my fate. Could do Caramel? No one’s gonna do caramel. On my main I am salt, so you could do Salt but I do not imagine this will catch on. 

She’s a fucking LIAR!!! This I think was the one full lie I ever let Tony tell. Everything else is pretty much true or of omission but this one yes, she just stopped fuckin’ payin it. Dad’s a business man!! Of course he wouldn’t just cut the cord— You liar pants Tony!!!

100% canon every time the camera cuts on squidink you can assume they kissed in between scenes. Canon i said it!!

This chapter is so telling to re-read, because you can really tell how disjointed Chip feels, without Mikey here— To me, at least. Like, the friendship she has/had with Richie is so barely present with him in this chapter— And she THINKS they’re not close!!! Bitch!!! It’s been you two the whole time!!! I love seeing how much this changed, by Ad Interim. Our baby got her groove back. And you can see it w/ Tina too! I love my mother…. Boots the house…. She’s so very good at seeing people now, I love HER!!!

BABYBOY TIME!!! Cutest interaction in the whole series you say?? Yeah that’s probably true. I was gonna say I gotta try to one up myself but to be fair there’s something about introductions that can’t be matched. Alas. Perchance (you can’t just say—).

100% this was Tony being the guy per usual but I also think like, she’s real special cause she knows Carmen pretty well through word of mouth— To her they are kinda like old friends. And I think that’s also what contributes so well to her COMPLETELY DISARMING HIS ASS as he gets to know her back lmao.

That plate was so fucking close to being frisbee’d— It was gonna be this whole tragic mirroring scene to a scene I had considered with Mikey but pivoted because it just ,,,, did not hit. That plate sure would’ve hit the fuckin wall though yesssiirrrr— (I have much to say about the You’re Nothing, but I will get into that in a later ask down the line I SWEAR THERE’S A WHOLE THING!!)

Anyways, favourite barista !!! I love that Chip has essentially learned every trade by wanting to impress someone. Her dad, Syd, Mikey. She’s so people pleaser. Number 1 people pleaser, my beloved. And then she makes Carmen arguably one of the best coffees!!  Immediately trying to impress him after 2 fucking seconds. She’s so fucking dumb. I love her. She is me and I am her. 

I would actually love to hear ad nauseam why The Berf shirt is so unforgettable. Actually no I get it. It’s them. This whole moment is just very them. You can see their friendship start to finally peek out and it’s a real joy. 

“Fuckin’ terrible, Carm.” - the way mikey would say this oh OH

AND THE CROWD HISSES IN PAIN!!!! Yessir, yessirrrrrrrr— She is SO THE GUY SHE IS SO MIKEY!!! THE FRUITS OF MY LABOUR!!

We’ll come back to this sweetness and comedy eventually. Maybeee. We got some in Something to Do— they’ll be FINE!!

Now Chip’s coffee order— This honestly went unwritten for so long for a couple reasons. 1 - I rarely drink coffee so I suck at having opinions. 2 - Tony is really just an OC at this point but it is still technically insert, so like, whatever YOUR coffee is, is her’s.

But like… now? Between u and me? And the 3 other people that will actually bother to read this ask? I think she’d do a cortado. Half steamed milk, Half espresso. It’s simple so it’s very switchable but I think still very her, yknow?

100% She is just a blend of Mikey and Carmen. HEY HALF MILK HALF ESPRESSO!!!! LETS GO!!! IT’S A METAPHOR NOW FUCK YEAH!!! Now is she a blend of them because I deeply relate to both brothers and really just fuckin stuck my whole self into Tony? …. .i decline to speak at this time

THE BERF!! SHALL!! PREVAIL!!! I need to buy a Berf shirt. Maybe I will use my ko-fi money (i love u) to buy a Berf shirt. Collector’s item. 

The whole Nat scene is SUCH A TOUGH READ AFTER TWO STEPS BACK HONESTLY,,, THEY BOTH HANDLE GRIEF IN SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS AND IT’S SUHKFJSFKH FUCK!!! And Natalie just seeing Mikey in her, like fucking everyone does— It’s just so— I’m fuckin DYING!!

Also. I’m so glad tumblr blurs ask photos because I remembered looking at these and then I forgot what they were and then i got to look with fresh eyes again and have a giggle all over again. THE MIRRORJEG— (processing an emotion)I’ll include these in a comp eventually, but here are some from my collection. Meme exchange, only fair.

I LOVE YOU AS ALWAYS KISS KISS I AM NOT GONNA GET TO SHOWER TONIGHT I’M GONNA HAVE TO GO TO WORK WITH AN OILY SCALP AND IT’S YOUR (my) FAULT!!

[janetbrown711]

Best Worst Mistake

Tang comes back from a college trip to discover his partner adopted a kid in his absence and also needs him to care for the kid the next day.

Only problem is that Tang has no idea what to do with him.

Psst-- this fic was inspired by @ChopshopT 's fan art on Twitter, so go give that some love <3

If you like this you may enjoy my Dadsy of Two au!

Ao3 Link

“Oh my great sage– you did not–”

“I-i didn’t mean to-! H-he just kinda– you know– showed up!”

“You don’t accidentally adopt a kid Pigsy!”

“It was late at night! Practically closing hours! I had to make sure no creep ran off with ‘im.”

“Okay, but keeping him?! This is– this is crazy! You said you never wanted kids!”

“I know, I know– not exactly like it was an option before– but–” Pigsy sighed.

“Look… I know it’s sudden– I know we’ve talked about it– but… you know I can’t turn him into the police– it’ll ruin us both,” Pigsy looked his shaggy haired partner in the eyes.

Tang sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, lifting his glasses as he did.

“How old is he?” He asked.

Pigsy sighed. “I don’t know– I just know that he was practically starving when I found him– not to mention naked and caked in dirt.”

If it weren’t for the sleeping child in the booth, Tang would’ve exclaimed, “he was naked???? Why didn’t you call the authorities???? What about his parents??? Did you even look around???” but he refrained.

“Does he have a name? Parents? Anything???” Tang asked instead.

Pigsy shook his head. “I stayed open a whole two hours more seeing if any’d walk by, but it’s been a week now, and I’ve had to basically close the restaurant to make sure he doesn’t get into anything– which you already know we can’t really afford– but I did– and nobody walked by.”

“A guy leaves for one week for a campus excursion to Shaolin Temple, and everything changes,” Tang laughed in an attempt to release his nerves.

“Y-yeah, I know this ain’t exactly ideal– I just–” Pigsy looked at the kid. “I didn’t know what to do without you here,” The chef confessed, and Tang kissed his cheek, but Pigsy turned and held his hands.

“So… whatever you thinks right– we’ll do it. Anything– leaving him on a doorstep, turning him into the police– anything. It’s your call,” Pigsy looked the scholar straight in the eyes.

“Woah– I-i don’t know– I-i just– I mean I know what’s legal and this– uh– isn’t– but–” Tang looked again at the kid snoozing away, and for the first time Tang noticed he was using Pigsy’s chef’s shirt as a blanket and stars above if it wasn’t the cutest fucking thing Tang had ever seen ever–

“Does he… like you?” Tang asked.

“Well– I uh– I think so..? I dunno, he doesn’t talk much, though he draws things sometimes– and he’s actually kinda good for a kid his age– and he listens to me when I explain things and he seems to really like living in our place– though I guess he’ll need a bed of his own with you back– I just– I don’t know,” Pigsy blushed and looked away. “I’m asking you though because I know you said you didn’t want kids ever either, so…”

Right.

“I…” Tang pulled on his scarf. “I kinda lied– I’m sorry– I know I shouldn’t have, but when you were talking about your dad and stuff and how you thought you’d make a bad father I was just like ‘oh yeah totally I get that, no kids, I’d never want any either, haha’ and you know– being gay doesn’t help, and if that wasn’t enough, being a human/demon couple means adoption would be off the table even if we weren’t gay and so i just kinda accepted it because I knew it just wouldn’t be possible– but as a kid I thought it’d be nice to have kids because I do like them– but also as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten like– really bad with them, and I like– don’t know how to interact with them or do with them but i mean–” Tang took a deep breath.

“I’m okay if you’re okay.”

“Wow– that’s… a lot to process, but… if you’re sure..?” Pigsy still looked at him for confirmation.

Tang nodded. “I am.”

A smile slowly grew on the chef’s face. “O-okay then! W-we– we have a kid then!”

“We have a kid then,” Tang laughed. Upon realizing how crazy he sounded, he started to ramble.

“We have a kid, Pigsy-! Oh stars above, what do you even do with those little things??? you feed them, teach them– Maybe I can pick up some books from the library– what about vaccines? We have no way of knowing his records– we don’t even know his birthday!” He shook Pigsy’s shoulders.

“Hm…” Pigsy tapped his chin, then shrugged. “Maybe we can just say it was a week ago when I found him– and he looks about two, don’t he?”

“I know nothing about kids, Pigsy– and neither do you but–” Tang sighed. “If we don’t want him nabbed overseas, this is probably what's best– and who knows, maybe he can find his real parents one day.”

“Yeah, that– uh– makes sense,” Pigsy nodded with slight hesitation.

“So… where’s he gonna sleep?” Tang then asked.

Pigsy thought for a moment. “Well I don’t think we can afford a bed for him yet– or even a mattress- and he is kind of accustomed to our bed so..?”

“...You like cuddling with him, don’t you?”

“Our heating sucks! I couldn’t leave ‘im on the couch– that’s not safe– and yeah, maybe missed cuddlin’ with you– it was a whole week Tang! A week!” Pigsy defended his honor.

Tang burst into laughter. “You looooove me.”

“Shut up,” Pigsy’s face was a deep shade of red as he playfully pushed his partner away.

“Aw, it’s okay Piggy, I missed you too,” Tang kissed his forehead.

“Yeah, yeah,” Pigsy waved him off, his face still red as he went and scooped up the kid, who wasn’t disturbed the slightest by the transfer.

He looked so little and scrawny in Pigsy’s arms– fragile too.

How on earth a kid that small could just wander around Megapolis all covered in dirt and mud– it didn’t make even the slightest bit of sense to Tang. He especially wondered how anyone would let him– whoever this kid’s parents were, he wasn’t sure the kid should ever meet them, even if the opportunity arises.

As he looked at him more, the more Tang realized Pigsy was a total natural– swaying ever so slightly and supporting all the right things to keep him comfortable and upright. Tang watched for a moment, just kind of smiling like an idiot before Pigsy realized he was staring and his face flushed.

“W-what?” He asked, shifting the kid.

“Oh, nothing,” Tang waved him off, grabbing his suitcase while being unable to stop smiling. “Does the kid have a name?”

Pigsy shrugged. “When I gave him crayons, he wrote ‘MK’ so–? I dunno, we’ll have to figure that out later.”

“I don’t know– I kinda like MK– I think it suits him,” Tang looked at the kid.

“I kinda think so too– it’s just that that’s not long enough to legally count, so… I’ll work something out– I know a guy in fake IDs, we’ll see,” Pigsy shrugged. “Could you get the alarm?”

Tang obliged, doing the closing duties for Pigsy when MK suddenly started to stir in Pigsy’s arms.

“Hey there sleepyhead,” Pigsy chuckled softly. “How’re you?”

The kid blinked and rubbed his eyes, before noticing Tang and gasping, quickly burying his head into Pigsy’s chest.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. That’s just Tang, remember? I talked about him a lot. He’s my partner, he’s gonna be living with us,” Pigsy rubbed the kids back.

Slowly but surely the kid turned his head back towards Tang, looking at him with big, dark brown eyes.

“Um… Hi, MK,” Tang waved awkwardly.

After a moment of intense study, the kid let one of his hands release Pigsy’s shirt and he waved to Tang with a smile.

Tang let out a surprised laugh and waved right back again.

“Looks like he likes you already,” Pigsy chuckled. “Usually he doesn’t even look at strangers.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Tang said. “Let’s get going to bed though– I’m exhausted from all the train rides.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Pigsy agreed, and after Tang turned off all the lights, the three of them headed up the stairs and into their apartment above the restaurant in all its one-bedroom glory.

Once upstairs, Tang got changed into his usual robe and silk pajamas, and Pigsy into his usual tank top and pajama bottoms– though Tang nearly lost it when he saw how Pigsy dressed MK for bed– literally just one of his old tank tops and wearing his socks– which were easily about three times too big.

“One of these days we’re gonna need actual money,” Tang joked as Pigsy put MK down on the bed. “He probably should have some real pajamas.”

“What? You don’t think it’s cute?” Pigsy half-joked.

“I never said that,” Tang rolled his eyes, taking off his glasses and setting them on his nightstand.

Just as he was going to turn his lamp off, MK started making noises, and pulling on Tang’s sleeve urgently.

“Yes, MK?” Tang asked.

“Oh– he– umm– is thinking you’ll sing to him,” Pigsy explained.

Tang gasped. “You sing to him?”

Pigsy blushed even deeper than before. “I– um– just a little– lullabies and all that when he wakes.”

“That’s the cutest thing I have ever heard,” Tang fawned at the blurry blob that was Pigsy. He then looked at MK– who was a little bit clearer. “I’m– uh– sorry, I can’t sing like Pigsy can. Go ask him.” He didn’t know if that was enough and so patted the kids head lightly twice before wanting to die of embarrassment.

The kid didn’t seem to care, as he just turned to look at Pigsy, who looked at Tang, his face still red as ever.

“You can’t laugh at me Tang.”

Tang let out an offended gasp. “Why would I ever laugh at you?”

“Because it feels stupid– I–” Pigsy sighed. “Just– pretend to sleep.”

“Alright, if it helps,” Tang teased him a little before turning the light off and laying down to ‘sleep’.

He was turned away on his side when Pigsy began humming a little tune for MK– the Eastern Cradle Song, if Tang remembered. It was incredibly soothing, and the kid was knocked out like a light in a matter of moments.

It reminded him how much he missed Pigsy’s singing– he hadn’t sang since– forever.

When it was finished, Pigsy layed down, cuddling with MK on the outside, so Tang rolled over and wrapped his arms around Pigsy.

“You sing like an angel,” He mumbled, pressing a tired kiss against his shoulders.

Pigsy laughed a little and cozied to his partner’s embrace, and the new family of three fell asleep.

.o0o.

Pigsy’s alarm had a terrible, terrible habit of going off when Tang didn’t want it to. Every morning, Pigsy blindly fumbled for the button, disturbing his most peaceful of slumber, until his precious, precious warmth was stolen from Tang.

“Pigggyyyyyy,” Tang pleaded with his lover when he could already shift to get up, even though he only hit the alarm five seconds ago.

“Tang, I gotta open shop– you know this. I know this,” Pigsy kissed his head.

“But it's so coooold without youuuuu,” Tang begged some more. If Tang was bothering to open his eyes (and also wasn’t blind as a bat without his glasses), he bet he’d be seeing Pigsy rolling his eyes.

“Pigsy sighed and hugged Tang, which the scholar mistook as a sign he had won and snuggled right back to him.

However this was not the case, as Pigsy kissed his head again and said, “Look, it’s gonna be my first time opening in a week– we need the money and you gotta study for finals so– can you watch the kid for me?”

Kid? What kid?

Tang opened his eyes, blinking at the sunlight before recognizing the blob on the other side of Pigsy and instantly recalling the previous day’s ventures.

“I-i– yeah, I guess that can be done,” Tang forced himself to sit up and stretch before he put on his glasses so he could finally see how relieved and thankful Pigsy looked.

“Great– so I’ll make a quick breakfast for you two, and then I’ll head on down to open,” Pigsy ruffled MK’s hair before getting up and getting dressed.

“Wait– you’re gonna head down? You’re–” Tang gasped dramatically– “You’re banishing me to this apartment?!”

“Tang– he’s just– This is a contained space. The public ain’t. And we need money, and besides, whenever you ‘study’ down there, all you do is give me googly eyes,” Pigsy pointed out, buttoning his chef’s shirt.

“Bah, you love my googly eyes,” Tang stated.

“Kid needs to be watched either way, Tang,” Pigsy snarked.

Tang looked at the kid, who to his surprise was looking right at him.

Tang gave a small wave and the kid waved back.

“Does he even talk?” Tang asked.

“Not much– yet,” Pigsy said, locating his socks and shoes and getting on the bed to put them on, to which MK got up and wrapped his arms around Pigsy’s neck, which made the demon laugh.

“He is a clinger though– hence why I don’t think it’s best to have him downstairs,” Pigsy patted MK’s arm with an affectionate smile.

“‘I don’t want kids’ my ass,” Tang thought with a tsk.

“Alright, alright, I hear you,” Tang said aloud before he cracked his back and started getting dressed while Pigsy went to make the three of them breakfast, MK still attached.

Once dressed and his hair thoroughly brushed and combed, Tang emerged from the bedroom to the wondrous sight of Pigsy’s rice noodles. If there was one thing Tang missed on his little excursion, it was his beloved Piggy’s cooking– not to mention free food.

Of course, Tang wasn’t “allowed” free food during business hours, but Tang “somehow” managed most days– and maybe he’d stop by for lunch or dinner because if there was one other thing Tang missed, it was his teasing.

Tang picked up his chopsticks and the moment noodles hit his tongue, he practically melted into goo.

“Pigsy, your food is soooooooo good,” He exalted.

“Wow, you really think so? Maybe I should be a chef,” Pigsy grinned, but Tang was too in heaven to give any kind of retort.

“Alright, well it’s roughly–” Pigsy looked at the clock and jumped, “ – 8:15, so I gotta get going.”

The chef then tried to get MK off of him, but once the small child realized what he was doing, he seemed to gain a death grip that Pigsy attempted and failed to loosen until Tang got involved and practically peeled him off of Pigsy’s back.

Naturally, this made MK start crying.

“Hey, hey, hey– I’ll be back I promise, I just gotta work and make money so we can get you real clothes more than the two outfits I found in a donation bin, alright?” Pigsy tried to assure MK in Tang’s arms, but from a distance so the kid didn’t try to latch on again. It didn’t really work, and Pigsy chewed his lip frantically as he tried to think.

Eventually he came up with an idea and hung his head a little.

“What? What’s the matter?” Tang asked, attempting to bounce MK but failing pretty miserably.

“Pretend you’re not listening,” Pigsy ordered, and Tang realized he was going to sing again.

“Do my sleepy words mean nothing to you?” Tang sighed dramatically before Pigsy gave him a look and so Tang obeyed, looking away (because his hands were full– what exactly Pigsy expected, Tang didn’t know but he was fine with it so whatever).

He then started singing the Song of the Sunshine, which he’d clearly sung with MK before because of just how strong and positive his reaction was. Most importantly, it got him to stop crying, and after a brief hug and a passing of tissue, the tears stopped entirely.

Pigsy was about to head out, though right as he touched the doorknob, he snapped and turned back to Tang.

“I have a library book on the coffee table about kids his age you can read when he’s napping and/or you finish studying– oh by the way, he naps around one and usually sleeps for an hour but after that he’s hungry but lunch is before nap time at noon, so just give him some of the peach snacks I have in the cupboard– he really likes those– and if there’s an emergency you can just call– oh and also I’ll make lunch and dinner downstairs too, so don’t forget,” Pigsy listed off.

“Wow, you’re really treating us,” Tang smiled smugly.

“Consider it wages for babysitting or whatever,” Pigsy pushed him jokingly, before looking at MK who was looking at him with big puppy dog eyes.

With a sigh, Pigsy hugged both Tang and MK, giving the former a kiss on the cheek, and MK a ruffling of his hair.

“I’ll see you soon, alright?” He looked at MK. MK looked up at Tang, then at Pigsy, then at Tang again before nodding.

“Alright. See you soon,” Pigsy patted the kids back before he really had to go, and so scrambled down the stairs.

And then it was just the two of them.

Tang’s first move was setting the kid down– since his pathetic nerdy noodle arms were not meant for carrying a (maybe???) two-year-old for long lengths. When he did the kid looked up at him vacantly, making Tang wonder if there was even a thought behind those eyes.

“So…” Tang looked around the apartment, bouncing on his heels and snapping while he tried to think of something to do. The kid certainly wasn’t any help, as he just continued to stare.

“Guess we should get you dressed then, no?” Tang decided, going into their bedroom and finding the two outfits Pigsy mentioned. MK was the one clearly calling the shots there though, selecting the blue shirt and overalls with a monkey on the pocket. Tang was glad it didn’t turn into a whole thing like he knew kids could do. Though there was a bit where it seemed like MK was going to bite his hand off when Tang tried to take his bandana, so he steered very clear of that.

After that though another big question mark hung in the air. Objectively, Tang knew he had to study, but also it didn’t seem like there was much to do with the kid in the meantime.

“Well… um… soooo… do you… like..?” Tang looked around for something– anything a kid would like, but their TV was basically useless, the books were a billion years more advanced than MK could possibly hope to understand, the boxes were too small, and they didn’t have toys– not by a long shot.

MK did seem to have a thought though, as he walked out of the bedroom and towards a countertop where a stack of legal papers were and–

Oh! Pigsy had a box of crayons.

“You want to color?” Tang asked. MK nodded and reached up enthusiastically. Tang grabbed a solid stack of the legal documents, grabbed the crayons and set them on the coffee table so the kid could actually draw on a hard surface.

To his surprise, the kid got to work straight away, and while Tang had literally no point of comparison, he seemed to be pretty good for a kid his age– whatever that was.

Tang left briefly to grab his laptop and books he needed, and when he returned the kid ran up and showed him his work. From what Tang could tell it looked like some trees, though they could’ve been giraffes, the sun in the corner, and right in the middle was a big brown swirl and a waterfall? Unless that was supposed to be the sky, and that swirl was a snake?

“Nice, MK,” Tang would’ve given a thumbs up but his arms were full. He carried his things past the toddler, who kept trying to show him the art.

“Yes, yes, MK it’s very nice, I love the trees– er– sky? –er– the sun especially,” Tang wasn’t sure what the right answer was, especially as MK had a little frown with each attempt, though seemed satisfied at the “sun” compliment and went back to his crayons.

…Tang didn’t understand kids.

But it was fine, this was fine. He had… time. Forced time, but this was just day one– he was crazy– was he seriously thinking a toddler was judging him??? Maybe Tang ought to see a therapist.

Tang took a deep breath to force himself to relax before he cracked open his book and laptop and started “studying” for his economics final.

Pigsy had always believed in Tang and his ability to be smart and know things, but really, Tang was a fraud who was just trying to delay the inevitable that when he finally got his PHD he wouldn’t find a job and would remain a financial burden to Pigsy– and now MK– till the end of his days, and he’d just be a burden like his parents always believed.

With a grumble, he started reading.

“The price, or market, system is the predominant allocation mechanism in most industrial societies today because–”

A piece of paper was slapped atop Tang’s book, making him jump.

“You– um– draw fast, don’t you MK?” Tang immediately set the paper aside, but MK huffed and put it back over his book.

“Look, how’s about you draw five drawings while I study and then you can show me then, hm?” Tang proposed, but the boy just stared vacantly.

“Right. You don’t know numbers,” Tang rubbed his forehead, before looking at the drawing.

This one was slightly more decipherable than the previous, as there was a bunch of pink scribbles roughly in the shape of Pigsy, and— what appeared to be a monkey on his shoulders? It was hard to tell, since it was red and also very crude. There was also another figure, bright yellow but it was hard to tell if that was supposed to be a sunbeam or tree or heck– even Tang. Again there was a waterfall (?) and some maybe-rocks maybe-hedgehogs???

“Is this supposed to be Pigsy?” Tang asked, pointing to the pink scribes. MK nodded.

“Aw, that’s sweet; I’m sure he’ll love it,” Tang smiled and set it down, though that made MK upset, as he picked it up and put it over his book again.

Tang groaned. “Kid, you’re really cute and all, but I need to study otherwise I will be failing everyone I know. Please just– go back to drawing?” Tang pleaded but the kid didn’t budge.

“Look– I–” Tang rolled his head back. “I don’t know what this drawing’s of. I’m sorry.”

MK took his paper back before going to the table and drawing more.

Tang sighed a breath of relief before going back to his textbook.

“–it is generally the most efficient. Yet not all exchanges take place in a market system. Many medical services–”

Tang was going to gouge his eyes out if he had to read any more of that money mumbo jumbo and so put it back in his back and swapped it out for his Taosim and Buddhism: Face to Face textbook and tried reading that for all of five seconds, before MK slapped the paper down.

The only thing that changed really was that the yellow figure was very clearly not Tang anymore and seemed to have some kind of flowers around him? Her? Them? and also adding a mountain in the background. The creature on Pigsy’s shoulder also had added detail– most importantly what looked like a bandana.

“And is that supposed to be you?” Tang pointed to the red– um… monkey? Spider? Cat?

MK nodded and smiled, jumping on the couch and pointing to the mountains and the yellow figure.

“Yes, yes, you’ve certainly improved your background work here,” Tang remarked. “But who is this person? Is that your mother or father?”

MK shook his head.

Somehow the figure not being one of his parents made it stranger– especially because MK deemed them so important he added more detail.

“Well they’re very lovely either way,” Tang patted his head and MK gave him a big toothy grin– which surprised the scholar.

“Yes, yes– well then, I’ll give this back to you so you can give it to Pigsy at lunch–” He said, handing him back the drawing– “and then I will get back to studying.”

MK was about to get off the couch when he suddenly gasped and pointed urgently to a picture in his textbook.

Tang stared at it and blinked. “That’s the Queen Mother of the West– she’s the wife to the jade emperor.”

At that MK nodded and started trying to turn pages in the book, which Tang tried to stop, but soon realized all that would do was rip the 5541.52 yuan book and so let him have his way. The kid flipped through page after page, until another picture showed up and he pointed to it eagerly.

“Oh, that’s the Bodhisattva Guanyin– she’s a figure of mercy and forgiveness and second beginnings,” Tang explained. Again MK flipped until another photo showed up and Tang realized he was curious about who all the people were.

“That’s Prince Nezha– he killed a dragon when he was young, and because of that his own father disowned him and he died–” Tang told and MK gasped.

“I-it’s okay though! He came back and got his revenge, though remains permanently twelve– I think,” Tang tried to recall before MK flipped pages again, and this time tapped it repeatedly to show his overwhelming excitement.

“Ahhh, I see you’ve taken an interest in Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, hm?” Tang chuckled and MK nodded excitedly.

“I see you have good taste, because he’s probably the most interesting figure in this whole book,” Tang joked. “He’s from a story called Journey to the West where he helps guide a monk to deliver scriptures to the Buddha and goes through personal trials until he reaches enlightenment– though not before causing some serious havoc in heaven.”

MK laughed– he laughed– and Tang felt his heart melt a little before MK started trying to get his head under his arm. Tang was confused, until he realized he wanted to sit in his lap to see the pictures better, and so Tang let him.

“See this one?” Tang pointed to a picture on the top left. “That depicts when he fought off the entire heavenly army after he was kicked out for stealing their wine, pills, and peaches.”

“And this one here–” he pointed below– “that’s when he got trapped under the Mountain of Phases after Buddha successfully tricked him.”

MK tilted his head curiously, tracing it with his finger before looking back up at Tang.

“Yes, yes, a little harsh, but he goes through worse punishments later, as before he was ready to go on the journey with the monk Tang Sanzang, he was given a circlet that would hurt him if he disobeyed,” Tang expanded, turning the page to reveal such an image, which made MK gasp and whimper.

“Yeah, it looks like it hurts a lot, doesn't it?” Tang said, examining the picture closer. It was weird– he hadn’t ever thought about the thing that closely before, but looking back, it was pretty torturous.

“It’s okay though– Monkey King always got back on his feet and got enlightenment like he always wanted, isn’t that nice?” Tang asked, and MK slowly nodded, though his lower lip trembled a bit.

“Aww, it’s okay MK,” Tang patted his shoulder, which MK took as an invitation to hug the scholar, which while it surprised him, he wasn’t against it.

“Here– how’s about I teach you about some of the happier parts of Sun Wukong’s life, hm? Like when he fought the permanent twelve-year-old Prince Nezha? Or when he had a cool shapeshifter duel with Er Lang Shen and his dog? Or– oh! What about when he fought off the Monstrous King of Havoc and freed all of the other monkeys on Flower Fruit Mountain from being eaten or enslaved?” Tang proposed, which instantly put MK in better spirits.

And so Tang started telling him tales, and MK slowly got off and started drawing the scenes Tang described, which was pretty impressive since sometimes Tang could actually see what was going on, which was nice. Plus, it was fun to see him so engaged in his stories.

It was… strange, watching this boy who had been nothing but a confusing vessel become so passionate and alive and giggly as Tang talked. Sometimes Tang actually thought he’d respond with words, but his laughs and nods were good enough for him.

Tang talked and MK colored for hours and hours and hours on end, until the landline rang to life, and Tang left MK to draw Er Lang Shen and his dog while he answered.

“Zhu residence, this is Tang.”

“TANG! Have you looked at the time??? The kid’s s’posed to be havin’ lunch by now!” Pigsy scolded on the other side.

“Oh wow– has it really been that long?” Tang laughed, seeing the clock said 12:15.

“Uh– yeah! Geez– does the kid’s schedule not even matter to you?” Pigsy griped.

“O-of course! It’s just– we were getting so caught up in drawing and The Monkey King– it really is something–”

“I thought you were supposed to be studying,” Pigsy pointed out.

“Yeaaahhh, well a little break never hurt anyone,” Tang totally glossed over the fact he never really started in the first place. There was a bit of pause before Pigsy spoke again.

“So uh– you and the kid been bonding?” Pigsy asked, his tone far less harsh now.

“I– um–” Tang looked over his shoulder at MK, who gave him a big flashy grin. “We have.”

“That’s– That’s really good, Tang, I’m glad,” His partner praised. “I thought’d take the kid weeks to warm up to you based on how he is with other strangers– this is good though.”

“And you left me up here with him alone anyways?” Tang pointed out jovially.

“I am literally just two stories down, Tang.”

“Yeah, yeah– let me do the teasing sometimes.”

Pigsy laughed on the other side. “Alright, alright– just get you and MK down here or else I’ll still charge you for your lo mein,”

“Alright, alright, I’ll get him there,” Tang rolled his eyes. “Love you, Piggy.”

“Love you too, Tangy. But seriously– get your ass down here.”

“I will. Bye.”

“Bye.”

And with that, Pigsy hung up.

“Alright MK, are you ready to see Pigsy again?” Tang hung up the phone too.

“Dadsy!” MK cheered, drawing in hand that he quickly showed Tang.

“Woah– Dad-sy?” Tang fawned over that so much did didn’t notice MK holding out the picture for him to take.

“Mhm!” MK nodded, shoving the picture in Tang’s face since he clearly wasn’t looking down enough.

The drawing wasn’t the one from earlier– no, this one was probably the clearest of any. On the right was clearly Pigsy, looking much better than his scribbled counterpart, and also very clearly holding MK, who was drawn with proper yellow and brown, with red saved for the bandana. And to the left was–

Him.

He could tell too, because the stick figure was wearing his robe and had huge messy circles around the eyes to be glasses, plus he was wearing a biiiiiiiiig old scarf. He was smiling, Pigsy was smiling, and MK was smiling too. There was also a rainbow, and a bowl of what Tang hoped were noodles and not worms, as well as MK written in the corner in big shaky letters.

“Oh MK– is this us?” Tang took it from his hands and felt himself start to tear up a little.

MK nodded excitedly.

“Dadsy an’ Tang!” He bounced on heels and flapped his hands.

Okay now Tang was definitely crying, and he quickly knelt and gave MK a hug.

“You know, I don’t meet a lot of kids, but you’re easily the coolest one out there, MK,” Tang complimented, giving him a good squeeze.

MK laughed and hugged him too.

“Now c’mon– I bet you’re starving, and I know I could certainly go for some noodles right about now,” Tang booped his nose before standing, at which MK did grabby hands upward. Tang chuckled and handed him back his drawing before picking him up.

“Alright, let’s go give your Dadsy a visit,” Tang was loving the nickname already and was more than certain Pigsy would just about die of cuteness when he heard it too– especially with how happy it made MK to hear it repeated back.

It was strange how much Tang felt he’d changed in a day, but hey, maybe that was just how parenting was–

God– it felt weird, to say it, but Tang was a parent now– Pigsy too. Of course, Tang still had a PhD to obtain, and Pigsy a restaurant to run, but together they were a team and with MK, they might even be a family.

Wow that was a lot to think.

But still, it brought as much of a smile to his face as it did anxiety, and if that wasn’t parenting, Tang didn’t know what was.

[eriexplosion]

Clone Wars - Shadow of Malevolence

Having expended everything I remembered about this three parter in the first part, I'm going into this one not remembering anything whatsoever.

First of all 'diabolical droid commander, General Grievous' I love that the writers simply do not know what this man is. Droid? Not a droid? Who knows, not the people writing this that's for sure!

I love when the clones get the salt and pepper hair... absolute top tier look right there. And one of them even gets a name, Matchstick - taking bets on if he survives the episode because I have a haunting feeling the answer is no.

"The Jedi are never that harsh with their clones." "The care these Jedi show for their troops is a weakness." "A weakness we shall continue to exploit."

Cannot get over that this exchange between Dooku & Grievous is actually about Grievous punching a head directly off a battle droid and getting told off because they're expensive. It's weakness not to decapitate your troops with a single punch, this is why the Jedi will lose. Clearly.

Honestly, I think that there's a strong preference for Grievous in like, the 2D series where he's an incredible badass but I love coughing little freak Grievous. Most character of all time. He has several things wrong with him.

Their target is a medical station with 60,000 injured clones though, fucking. Hands off the boys, Grievous.

One thing I like about this episode is that it really gives us the first bits of the Ahsoka & Anakin sibling dynamic that works so well for me. We got lots of them interacting last episode, but I don't think it has quite the charm of their back and forth over how Anakin TOTALLY doesn't hate Ahsoka's flying he just enjoys her company so she should come with him as the gunner and definitely not fly. Awkward big brother Anakin is my favorite.

UNEXPECTED NALA SE APPEARANCE. I forgot she was here so early. Headcanon possibilities abound with that, is Omega on the station somewhere? What about early pre-deployment batch? Some of the behind the scenes stuff makes it sound like they were only allowed into the field because someone spoke up for them after 99 died, but they're probably still Nala Se's pet project to experiment on. So many options just with her being here.

"Broadside, if we make it through this one, drinks are on me." "I can already taste it."

OH YEAH THEY'RE TOAST. AT LEAST ONE OF THEM. NEVER MAKE PLANS.

I love that Plo Koon knows that this random smuggler's route is the habitat of DANGEROUS POSSIBLY SHIP EATING SPACE MANTA RAYS. Is he particularly knowledgeable in smuggler's routes or does he just know a lot about space marine biology? I hope that he has a book about the Purrgils.

The "It's just smiling at ya!" bit from Anakin. I adore him, god.

Also yep, Matchstick is gone, doomed by making plans for after the mission ;A; don't like that, put him back. (Also lost an unseen clone named Tag, which is the cutest name ever oh my god)

And once again Plo Koon saves the day with clear headed thinking mid-battle. Best Jedi master.

At the end there's another little exchange that caught my attention, this one between Nala Se & Anakin:

Do not take the lives you saved lightly. I don't. But I also can't take the lives I lost lightly.

Once again I am TORN UP by how much Anakin cares about people and wants to do right by them, that even in victory he's thinking about their lives being lost I am In Agony about it. But also, it's interesting to see this Nala Se who seems a little more caring about the clones. She didn't escape immediately and stayed to oversee the evacuation, for one, but also praising Anakin for the lives he saved. She's almost likable and then goes on to do things like drug Fives to lead directly to his death.

I was going to do all three tonight but I'm getting a little sleepy so third one tomorrow. I am going to be turning around the thought of Omega or the batch being on this station with Nala Se ALL NIGHT, I just know it.