#the gun is good. the penis is evil.

[forgottenbones]

Gun Owner Explains Why He Needs Weapon To Protect Self From Gun He Currently Holding To Own Head

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

Megalopolis - I say in a scolding tone -, you did not earn Beethoven's 7th Symphony (2nd Movement, Allegretto) at the end there, unlike Zardoz (1974) and The Fall (2006).

[victusinveritas]

[bat-in-the-machine]

It is the fiftieth anniversary of Zardoz today.

Do with that information what you will.

[dynamoe]

The Gun is good! The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.

(this is the weirdest take on a "roses are red/violets are blue" poem and it doesn't even rhyme)

Share a Zardozentine with the filthy Brutals in your life. 💘 Download a PDF 💘 (prints out 3 x 5")

Be Mine.

this is an old drawing I never had any use for... look at that chicken wing arm! Zardoz (1974), directed by John Boorman, is a very strange sci-fi movie everyone should see, hopefully while drunk, stoned, exhausted or in an otherwise altered headspace. Sean Connery wears a wig and a red diaper with fuck-me boots and is determined by future society to be the sexiest, most virile man on earth.

[ncc-42069]

[primiera]

the people's zardoz

[kalianos]

Just a normal movie from the 70's.

[makewright]

Zardoz awaits.

[doctorslippery]

The Gun is good! The Penis is evil!

The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was.

But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals.

Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.

----

This could be the distant future after The Purge world of sequels.

Zardoz, 1974.

[mommyashtoreth]

what are your most hated popular aziraphale and crowley mischaracterizations

GREAT question I fucking love complaining

Not to sound contradictory right off the bat but for Az it's both like. "Aziraphale is mean" and "Aziraphale is SO cartoonishly nice that he can't even fathom of anything that could be construed by anyone as being somehow 'bad'", because I think both are really fundamental misunderstandings of Aziraphale as a dramatic character for the former and as a comedic character for the latter. "Aziraphale is mean" seems to be based entirely on the ending of s2 and I've certainly said my piece about that already, but to summarize I think it's a bad reading of that scene and I find "actually Aziraphale is manipulative and mean and Crowley is 100000% always in the right and never did anything wrong ever" to make for a much more boring story than what we've actually got. On the other hand, boomeranging right into the other direction and making Aziraphale way too nice is ALSO something I find boring, but in a more standard "fandom flanderization" type of way. Like, I'm sure you've seen something where Aziraphale is so nice and good and pure and soft and sweet and smol cinnamon roll needs protection that he passes out whenever someone says the word "penis." And I find that boring! It's a bad way to engage with his joke. Aziraphale IS nice, genuinely, and he's good to people and helps people and loves humanity, but also like, he's smug and he lies and he says guns lend weight to a moral argument and is kind of a cunt in ways people don't give him credit for. And that's good! That's awesome. He's really really really funny and I obviously really really like him. Basically I wish people knew how to balance "Aziraphale is nice" and "Aziraphale is a bitch" bc both are true and it's a fine-tuned craft managing to depict both at once

Crowley is harder to pin down... idk I just Also find a lot of fandom Crowley very boring in very similar ways, either stripping him down (God I wish) to form one half of a very basic very boring Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy dynamic, or making him this like Sexy Domineering Alpha Male Daddy Dom type that I find very boring. Not that I think Crowley can never be sexy or domineering, my url is literally, yknow, that, but I think all his "evilness" has an almost playful nature to it where like you know he's having fun with it, OR I like when it feels like he's doing it as a job. like Oh, fuck, have to make the quota today. Gotta go cause a pileup. I think people generally tend to make Crowley either too serious or too nice, and he IS nice, there's a guarded softness in like both renditions of the character that IS very important, but he's still Also kind of a bitch! And that's fun! Idk people always make "sin" out to be some huge thing like "Crowley has to literally murder a child" which makes for good conflict, but there's also little stuff that he's a) good at and b) likes doing, like causing traffic jams and moving construction poles around and just like, generally annoying people and I think that's really really funny. I read a fic once where she would order pizza for delivery to other people's houses, and I'm still workshopping mine where she, like, convinces this rich guy to invest in a bad industry so when his stocks plummet he'll be insufferable to be around (also bc greed is a sin. There are sins besides lust! Animals), and that's fun! And honestly Crowley's fun even when he's down in the dumps, he's funny when he gets annoyed with Aziraphale or when he gets angry at Gabriel or whatever. I wish people tapped into that more! Idk I also clearly like Crowley a lot I think we could hang out I could grab a beer with him and play Bowie and Brian Eno on the jukebox, and a lot of fandom Crowley does not feel like somebody I could grab a beer with. Let him loosen up! Misery is fun to write but all work and no play makes Tony a dull boy

[strangestcase]

As the cherry on top in my series of joking-ish posts on political lesbianism (aka cishet women playacting lesbian stereotypes because it’s feminist I guess + actual lesbians being biphobic) I’ll say that when political lesbianism (be it of the TERF, SWERF, or now 4B flavor) talks about refusing to fuck men, it doesn’t mean cishet men, it means anybody who has a penis, because the penis is evil (and the gun is good /ref). Political lesbianism has radfeminism baked into its core and as much as radfeminism has a solid basis it also is riddled with transphobia, almost always basing its politics on it (and that’s exactly what being a TERF means, btw). Trans women are systematically denied womanhood and allyship, attacked and dog piled, harassed and pushed to the margins at best. and trans men are seen as guilt-free dispensaries of sex. Because political lesbianism needs trans women to be predatory and trans men to be confused women for straight women to fuck and congratulate themselves for being such good lesbians.

[victusinveritas]

Charlotte Rampling, Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam in DV's Dune films, was excellently cast.

“

Thus spoke St. Alia-of-the-Knife: “The Reverend Mother must combine the seductive wiles of a courtesan with the untouchable majesty of a virgin goddess, holding these attributes in tension so long as the powers of her youth endure. For when youth and beauty have gone, she will find that the place-between, once occupied by tension, has become a wellspring of cunning and resourcefulness.”

—FROM “MUAD’DIB, FAMILY COMMENTARIES”

BY THE PRINCESS IRULAN

“

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Buffalo Bill

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Back in 2019, I started Psycho Analysis with a review of one of cinema’s most overshadowed and underrated villains. Now that I’m better at this, I've decided I'm redoing those old reviews, giving them a fresh coat of paint, fitting them into the modern Psycho Analysis style, and updating the scores. I figured there’s no better place to start than with good ol’ Jame Gumb.

Jame Gumb (yes, Jame, he doesn’t have an “S” in his name) is the enigmatic serial killer from The Silence of the Lambs known as Buffalo Bill. He’s left a trail of flayed women in his wake, his motives unknown, and it’s up to Clarice Starling to stop him with a little help from a smarmy cannibal asshole. He’s the perfect sort of twisted, perverted freak you’d hope to find in a grim, gritty detective story. In fact, he almost seems a bit uncontroversial and unremarkable in terms of villains, doesn’t he?

Oh, if only. Unfortunately, there are aspects of Bill’s character that have made him the second most controversial villain of 90s cinema after Ray Finkle from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. And we’re going to discuss all of that, because the big question when discussing Bill ultimately isn’t whether he’s good or bad, but is he good despite the unfortunate implications he ends up carrying due to what is and isn’t adapted from the book?

Motivation/Goals: Bill just wants to play dress up. Unfortunately, his idea of dressing up involves skinning women and then sewing said skin into a woman suit he can wear to dance about in his underground dungeon, penis tucked between his legs. To accomplish this Ed Gein-esque goal, he uses the playbooks of other killers like Ted Bundy to lure in unsuspecting women of considerable girth, traps them in a well in his basement, and forces them through a strict skin care regiment until it’s time to kill and skin them.

All of this is just incredibly fucked up, and also isn’t elaborated on to quite the degree the novel does due to Bill not being a character we focus on to gain real insight into. The full reveal of his plan is a shocking twist, but we don’t have the full psychological scope of his actions that was laid bare in the novel; while it doesn’t diminish Gumb in my opinion, it does leave the door open for some… problematic readings of what he’s up to, which we’ll discuss later.

Performance: While I don’t think I could possibly say he is an actor who manages to achieve the lofty heights of Hopkins, Ted Levine is still absolutely fantastic in his role. He’s an actor who always manages to inject his characters with a sort of unsettling air; just look at his brief appearance in Shutter Island if you need proof of this. Those skills are put to good use here, as he manages to make Gumb truly unnerving, and arguably far more realistic in his depiction of a serial killer than Lecter is.

Final Fate: After stalking Clarice Starling through his blackened basement while wearing night vision goggles, the tables are turned on Bill and the hunter becomes the hunted as Clarice unloads her gun into him. It’s a rather fitting death; as he preyed on women at their most vulnerable, it only makes sense that a woman strip him of all his power when he appears to be in control.

Evilness: I really don’t think there is any good argument against Bill getting the full 10/10. I mean, the man skins women so that he can wear their skin as a suit. How much fucking worse can a person even be in a story like this? It says a lot that Lecter comes off as more reasonable and less evil than the guy (even though this is decidedly not the case).

Best Scene: You know what it is:

And it’s even Jay and Silent Bob approved!

Really gotta compliment the song choice here; Q Lazzarus’ ominous dance tune “Goodbye Horses” forever had its image altered by its use here, but it really heightens the mood and feeds in to the unsettling nature of Bill’s dance. You can’t hear the opening notes of the song without this scene immediately coming to mind. And to think, its inclusion was all because she happened to pick up director Johnathan Demme in her taxi during a blizzard and showed him her demo tape.

Best Quote: From the above scene, Bill drops one of the most famous serial killer quotes in cinematic history:

“Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me so hard.”

Final Thoughts & Score: Buffalo Bill is horrendously underrated as a villain, though clearly there are some out there who appreciate him (Seth Green for example, who based Chris Griffin’s voice in Family Guy off of Buffalo Bill’s). That being said, the movie unfortunately ends up dipping into problematic territory as by excising most of the elaboration from the novel, Bill can unfortunately be read as an unflattering depiction of a trans woman.

Now you and I know that isn’t true, and anyone else who has read the book knows it isn’t true, but do you really think the average moviegoer in the early 90s cared about that? They see the freaky man dancing around with his schlong tucked away, wearing a woman’s skin, and find it unsettling and grotesque. It is incredibly easy to see how someone could see this as something akin to a villain in a crappy JKR detective novel, and it really didn’t have to be that way because the book really goes out of its way to not demonize trans people; while a bit outdated by modern standards, the book explains that trans people are not inherently violent and that Gumb is merely deluding himself into believing he is trans as some sort of warped justification for his actions. It even pointing out he was rejected for gender reasignment surgery. The movie has a few lines, but that’s kind of disappointing compared to the original novel, isn’t it? Then again, perhaps over-explaining would lead to the same criticisms the ending of Psycho gets, where laying things out for the audience in a way that tries not to demonize marginalized individuals is seen as tacky and unneeded.

Considering that Gumb was inspired by real life killers and their motivations (particularly Ed Gein, who has a higher number of fictional characters inspired by him than he does victims) and because I read the book, I don’t necessarily find his portrayal all that offensive, but I am a cis guy. If you do find his character tasteless, I won’t exactly blame you. It’s a rather unfortunate side effect of the transition from book to film that we lost the details that would ameliorate the problematic image of the character. With all that said, I still think he gets an 8.5/10. He’s certainly not as iconic as Lecter is and he’s too problematic to score any higher, but he is a very effective villain for the film he’s in and Levine’s performance is chilling and entrancing.

If nothing else, his existence led to the greatest open RP of all time. That’s gotta count for something.

[motherfucker-unlimited]

The Gun is Good

The Penis is Evil

GO FORTH AND KILL

[trrickytickle]

The Tea Word 🕸️🫖

GIF by liurnia

A/N: STILL NEED TO REPLY TO MESSAGES!!!!! Okay okay Liya let's get on track. DO. REQUESTS! goes without saying that the movie is goated but like, I was gonna write some Gwen (Stacy) but I had a silly and stupid idea and it snowballed. Soooo here's some Pav and Miles enjoooy blehhh (lee!Miles, ler Pavitr)

Pavitr procures pipin' hot chai for the spider-gang, but Miles still says it the wrong way. Luckily, an unmissable opportunity comes by for Pavitr to correct his mistake.

Spiced sweetness wafted through the air in the rec-room of the elite spider society, a pleasant aroma to the chattering spider-people, who mostly were bundled up into their own clique. Lego Spider-Man was recounting his fight with an evil businessman with huge pants to Spider-Cat, Peni was cleaning out SP//dr, and Miles, Gwen and Hobie were being served tall and sweet mugs of chai by Pavitr Prabhakar. With perfect barista-like precision, he procured two warm mugs and with a THWIP! they slid across the bar to the trio. Miguel was definitely going to give him an earful for serving the anomaly, but he did owe the spider-people one after saving Inspector Singh and his girlfriend in Mumbattan. With a dash of cinnamon, the drinks slid across the counter faster than any of them could say "My Spidey senses are tingling". Hobie took a sip, slamming his glass onto the counter. "Bloody amazing. Oi, Pav, you reckon this is why we bought out your plantations?" Gwen giggled, Miles briefly glancing at her apprehensively, going back to blowing on his chai and taking a generous swig. The political quip earned a chuckle and a playful shove from Pavitr. "Oh, yes, absolutely. Much better than spotted dick. Why's it called that anyways? Spotted dick.." Burning her tongue, Gwen winced with a high pitched -squeal!-. Miles laughed. "Shit, guess that's too hot for you." he teased, blowing on her tea. "What even was that?" "Shut it, Spider-Boy." Gwen chided. "Ahh… Man, this is some good chai tea.." Miles sighed, startled when the bar stilled with the loud noise of Pavitr's exasperated sigh. "Miles, Miles, my guy, we've been over this! CHAI. MEANS. TEA. You're seriously still saying chai tea!? It's JUST! chai!" Miles stammered, arms flailing like two eels out of water. "Wh- Look, bro, bro, back up, I'm used to it-" "Yeah, no wonder e' forgot. Bloke's bleedin' from 'is head down to 'is armpits." As he attempted to defend himself, Hobie very unexpectedly traced up the red lining in the armpits on Miles' suit, and he let out a high-pitched snicker. Making him flinch, Gwen and Pavitr both jumped back at Miles' reaction. Gwen giggled. "Yeah.. what even was that? You laugh like a girl." "That's a patriarchal construct." Hobie quipped back and nonchalantly sipped his tea. Miles shrugged. "Ticklish." Hobie backed up apologetically, keeping his hands to himself. "S'embarrassing. Think I probably would've glitched." Pavitr walked out from in front of the counter to the bar-stools where the spider-people sat behind Miles- (..hopefully only to join the other Spider-People) -and playfully jabbed at his sides. "-IIIEEE!-" "I- I mean it's all the same with you people! "Ghee butter".. "Naan bread".. gh- Y-You know what? You know what I'm gonna say to you now?" The spider-person wildly gestured with a ribbing enthusiasm, prodding Miles, who curled away in nervous anticipation. Just as suddenly as he had jumped up, Pavitr jammed his hands into Miles' armpits, spidering from there down to his ribs.

"Gudi-gudi-gudi-gudi-gudi! Tickle tickle!" The look on his masked face was determined and sly, eager to dish out playful karma. He teased, sure to rub in his grammatically correct Hindi-speaking, at machine-gun speed that went as fast as his dextrous fingers.

"Heh-hEEH-hahaHAAI'M- no! C'mon, wehe're friends, right-st-he-h-hha-Stop, stoppitst-hhhHh!! Sh-IH-ihit, man!" Miles sputtered, flailing like an awkward goose. "Ghh-Gwen! Gwen, help, he's attacking mE-!!"

She only ignored him, squealing and blushing with every octave of Miles' laughter and desperately trying not to be involved, Pavitr's prying teasing only filling her with slightly more dread.

"Hoho-heh-Hob-IEEE!! HELP!!" His hyperbolic pleas once again fell on deaf ears while Hobie's news-clipping phone case was pressed in the mugs of the two tussling Spider-People. Pavitr kept poking Miles in the ribs, gradually moving down his sides, prodding and teasing with a fascinated zest unil he reached his suit-clad tummy, which he clawed up and down, up and down, up and- it was driving Miles insane.

"Come oooon, say it, Miles! Chai is…"

"Teehee-HEEEE!!"

"Can't hear you! Chai is.." Giggling a little himself, Pavitr kept poking, making sure to harshly jab at Miles' stomach or armpits or wherever caused the best reaction as he was about to admit his "mistake". Much to his chagrin, Gwen was still acting …strange, and Hobie had recorded up to the three-minute mark by this point.

"Chahahai is tHHEEEEEE-HEE-HEE-HE!" "Stop laughing and just say it! What's so funny about masala chai, huh? Huh?" "You're the one tickling me-hehehe!" Miles attempted to swat Pavitr away, sometimes succeeding with his spider sense. "Ooooh-hohoho, then this must be a really bad spot!" Pavitr chimed, spidering the space between Miles' ribs and sides. "Yeahaha-hah, no shit!" "So, what is chai?" His laughter grew louder as Pavitr moved down to his back, sliding his fingers down it. His eyes widened- he had control in those earlier moments of playful banter- but out of pure dumb luck (and probably prayer), oblivious ol' Pav had unknowingly found his worst spot. "Shi-HIT!-SHIHI-HIT! AHA-HH-HAH!" "Shit? Chai is shit?" Pavitr mock-gasped. "The audacity!"

"Nohohoho! Chaha-Chai tehe-HEEEA!- It's good!"

"Come on, you still don't get it?" Pavitr bluffed. "I thought we were friends, Miles!" He ramped up his fast flying finger movement as his digits climbed up and down Miles' ribs like he was speed-crawling up Mumbattan highways. "I'll give you One. More. Chance. Say it."

"Chai-chahaiisteehEEhee!-" Miles panted in exhaustion, Pavitr stilling his fingers as Hobie set down his phone and Gwen perked up from hiding her face on the bar's counter.

"-pant- -WHEW- Ne-heh-ver… neveragain…"

"Wow, great job, Miles, that only took you like, three tries." Pavitr quipped, fist-bumping Hobie. Said spider-anomaly quenched his laughed-out throat by guzzling the rest of his cold chai. Gwen perked up and kept composure, patting Miles' back. "Looked ...intense." she shivered. Hobie shrugged. "Just a spot of fun. I'll send you the video." "Iiiiiiranouddastorage." Gwen bluffed, blushing. Hobie slugged her in the arm, smiling. "Pork pies. (Cockney-ism for "lies") C'mon, we're mates, make some space for me, willya?" The shared air of laughter was greeted by a frown of disdain and glare from Miles. Pavitr pattted him on the back and gave him a smile. "C'mooon, go get her! I can't bear this!" "I-It's not like that!!" ----------------------------- The camraderie came to a close with a blanket of snow-white glow, enveloping the Spider-People fast as lightning would. Everything- the mugs- the counter- Lego Spider-Man- would be gone without a trace. It was an anomaly not even this lot could fix, and the events from earlier all washed away. 4 dAYS Avengers: Secret Tickle Wars- Part III Everything will change.