#the grishaverse trilogy fic

[pleasurebuttonwrites]

the privateer & me masterlist

The Grishaverse Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo Nikolai Lantsov x OFC Rating: Explicit 18+

(Based on the books despite the gif of the show)

Chapter 1 Saskia Zimová is part of the crew aboard the Volkvolny. At the annual captain's party, she gets some face time with Captain Sturmhond.

Chapter 2 Captain Sturmhond invites Saskia Zimová to a private dinner.

Chapter 3 Rumors fly after Saskia's dinner with Captain Sturmhond

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

[frankencanon]

Six of Crows AU where there's some sort of International Farmers Association that has big meets every now and then where farmers come from all over and Jesper's father has met Kaz's parents there before so when Colm (Jesper's father) meets Kaz he recognizes him almost immediately

"Do I know you?" Colm asks, "That is, have we met before?" And then, before Kaz or anyone else even has the chance to respond: "The Rietvelds! You're the Rietvelds' boy, aren't you? Now, which one are you, then? Jordie or Kaz?"

Someone, inevitably: "Kaz is a farmboy?!"

-

Edit: I give full blanket permission for anyone to write fanfic of this AU, btw.

[criminalamnesia]

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

summary: Nikolai confronts you about unspoken feelings.

warnings: fluff, no use of y/n, not proofread, no gendered pronouns used (that I know of), grisha!heartrender!reader

author’s note: dancing with our hands tied by taylor swift inspired this! also listen I love zoya and nikolai but nikolai is just sooooooo ksjfjsjs I wanted to write a reader insert for him.

—

What you had with your captain was something no one understood– not even the two of you.

Sturmhond– or Nikolai, as you knew him in secret– was your friend. Your captain. But he was also something more.

He was a rogue ship, and you were a lighthouse guiding him home. He was a dangerous sea, threatening to drown you if you tested your luck– and oh, how you were so close to seeing what would happen if you did.

You shouldn’t even know his true identity. But, as fate would have it, he needed a heartrender with a specific set of skills that you just happened to have, and you needed an escape.

You were his tailor– disguising his appearance and turning him into the infamous Sturmhond. That was the only reason you were allowed to see him without his mask– you were the one to put it back together.

“You’re not surprised?” He had asked you the first night your services had been requested.

The ginger hair of Sturmhond had faded. The crooked nose had straightened, but the same smug grin was still present.

“No,” you had said. “I know that heartbeat. I knew it was you a mile from your ship.”

That took him aback. How did you know his heartbeat?

You had laughed, your eyes twinkling with something he found mesmerizing. He didn’t know you– he was sure of it. He wouldn’t forget a face like yours.

One of your hands was on his shoulder, holding him still. The other roamed his face, fingers dancing across his skin as you worked.

“You’re staring,” you stated, your fingers moving to his messy blond hair. “Trying to figure out how I know you?”

“Yes,” he admitted, eyes watching your face intently. “Were you at the Little Palace?”

You nodded. “I was.” The blond of his hair started to turn red. “But I spent most of my time in the Grand Palace.” You paused, your hand leaving his shoulder to move to his chin, tilting his head to the side. You could hear his heart beat a tad bit faster.

“The Darkling gave me to your mother, as he did with Genya. I was her apprentice. She taught me how to tailor.” You told him.

“I didn’t suffer the same fate she did, if that’s what you’re wondering. Your father had eyes for her, not me.” You couldn’t help the bitterness in your voice. Nikolai flinched.

“You were rarely home– but I met you once, when we were both still small. That’s why I know your heartbeat. The only one of the Royal Family to have a good heart– not a sour one. It stuck with me, I guess you could say.”

“I don’t remember you,” he admitted, and you gave a small laugh. His blond hair was almost completely red now.

“I wouldn’t expect you to. You’re not the only one being tailored, Captain. The First Army can’t take me back if they don’t recognize me, now can they?”

“Are you listening?”

Nikolai’s voice broke you from your thoughts. He was sitting on the bed in his quarters on the ship. You stood between his knees, your hands on his face as you changed him back into Sturmhond.

“Mhm,” you hummed. You weren’t. This routine was something you could do in your sleep, and truthfully, you found your mind drifting off more and more whenever Nikolai required your assistance. It’s not that you found his company dull– quite the opposite, actually. But you didn’t want him to know that.

“No you weren’t,” he gave a small chuckle, one of his hands moving up to grab one of yours. He pulled it from his face as he intertwined your fingers.

“Nikolai,” you hissed, pulling your hand from his grasp. “Do you want me to mess up? I was in the middle of reforming your nose.”

He sighed, his hand falling back to his lap as you raised yours once more. You avoided his eyes, knowing you wouldn’t like what you saw in them.

Between the two of you, he was the more open with his feelings. For the past few weeks, he had continuously tried to corner you and get you to talk about whatever the two of you were. To try and figure things out. You had successfully avoided him thus far, but you knew you were dancing on thin ice.

It was only a matter of time before he recruited one of the twins to subdue you while he forced you to listen. You wouldn’t put it past him, and you knew for a fact Tolya would help him. Curse that hopeless romantic.

“You’re insufferable. And exhausting,” he told you as you grasped his chin gently between your fingers, turning his face this way and that to examine your handiwork.

“I know. You tell me quite often,” you remarked, nodding to yourself as you moved to focus your sights on his hair.

He sighed. Silence engulfed the two of you. It was almost smothering, full of unsaid words and the tension between the two of you. You were suddenly aware of how close you were to him– his knees caging you in as you stood between his spread legs. His face in your hands, his hands now on your waist.

“We keep dancing around this,” he said. You didn’t reply, choosing to focus more intently on the roots of his hair. “The whole crew thinks we’re sleeping together.”

That caught you off guard. You gave a snort, rolling your eyes. “Of course they do. You call me to your quarters in the night, every week. You always stare at me, especially when you think I’m not looking. And you’re handsy– you’ve always got a hand on my back or my shoulder or something.”

Nikolai chuckled. “Well, you’re one to talk. Every time you laugh at something I’ve said, you grab onto my arm and go ‘oh Sturmhond!’. And don’t act like you don’t stare, too.”

“I do not say ‘oh Sturmhond’,” you said, looking down at him. He grinned that same crooked smile.

“I know you’re thinking it. Probably thinking some other things, too. Like how you’d like to–”

“Shut up, or I’m going to give you a black eye.” You hissed, pulling his hair harder than you should’ve.

He laughed. “You wouldn’t. You like my face too much.”

“Im sick of it, actually,” you remarked. “I see it everyday.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be here.” He replied.

“You say that as if you’d let me leave. I’m the only tailor you’ve got.”

He shook his head. “That’s not the reason I wouldn’t let you leave, and we both know it.”

You dropped your hands as the last of his blond turned red. Your job here was done. There was nothing stopping you from bidding him goodnight and excusing yourself to your own cot. You knew he would drop it and let you go without another word, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You didn’t want to say anything.

“So now you’re keeping me prisoner?” You said, suddenly all too aware of his hands squeezing your waist.

“Maybe I am. At least until you admit you like me,” he said, and you scoffed.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here–” you began, but he cut you off.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

He moved to stand. You tried to step back, but his hands on you kept you rooted to the spot. You looked up at him, heat rising to your cheeks. Your chests were touching now, and there were only inches between your lips and his.

“When are we going to stop playing this game?” He whispered, one of his hands moving from your waist to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“You like it too much to stop.” You retorted.

“I’d like honesty more,” he said, and you shook your head. “As much fun as playing cat and mouse is with you, I’m growing tired of chasing. And we both know you’re tired of running.”

His hands were on your hips as he swung you around the deck, a laugh on his lips as you clung to his shoulders. You couldn’t help but smile as he dipped you, your eyes meeting his. There were unspoken promises in his gaze– too many feelings, and you had to look away.

Others danced around you two as a few of the crew played some song you’d never heard on makeshift instruments. Laughter and conversation made it hard to think straight. Spirits were high– you’d all just succeeded in breaking through a Fjerdan blockade– and that called for a celebration.

“They’re all going to think we’re together,” you had told Nikolai as he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the dance floor. He had laughed, leaning in close to whisper “let them” in your ear.

He had kissed you for the first time that night, after the party had subsided and everyone was asleep but the two of you. You had been talking quietly, watching the stars and listening to the waves, and he had kissed you and you had melted.

“Nikolai..” you sighed, your hands moving to rest on his shoulders. “This isn’t a good idea.”

“I don’t care,” he told you, and his heartbeat was as steady as it had ever been.

“I do,” you told him, meeting his gaze. “You can’t play pirate forever. What happens when you go back to Ravka, back to your family? You can’t marry me. I’m nobody– not a princess, not a diplomat. I’m an escaped servant who knows too much and would be imprisoned or executed for escaping.”

“Privateer,” he corrected, and you rolled your eyes. “And I’m the second son– a bastard second son. I’m already a disgrace in their eyes,” one of his hands moved to the small of your back, his thumb rubbing circles into the fabric of your shirt. “I can’t disappoint them any more than I have.”

“It doesn’t matter what they think of you now, they still won’t let me anywhere near you.” You replied, and he shook his head.

“Why are we even talking about this?” He asked. “We’re not in Ravka. We’re in the middle of the ocean, and no one cares what we do.”

He was right. You were far from Ravka and his family and your pasts. You were someone new, and he was, too. You weren’t an escaped servant– you were Sturmhond’s first mate. You were his most trusted friend– besides the twins– and you were the one he wanted.

And you wanted him, too.

“I don’t care about details,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t care about families or consequences or rumors. I care about you, about that little smile you always get before you win at cards, about how you let me drag you onto the dance floor while the crew stares, and how you put up with me more than you should.”

You didn’t say anything, too stunned for words.

“I would do anything,” he began, his face slowly inching towards yours. “To dance with you again. To kiss you again. To not hide behind stolen glances and little jabs at each other.”

“Nikolai,” you murmured, your eyes flitting down to his lips.

“Yes?” He asked as your eyes found his once more.

“Just shut up.” You said, and you closed the gap between the two of you, your lips meeting his.

Maybe nothing he said would be true in the morning. Maybe he would realize this was all a big mistake, but you didn’t care.

He was right. You were tired of running, and you were so glad he was tired of chasing.

And as you kissed, that heartbeat that you’d remembered after all these years– that you’d always remember– soared.

And you knew he wasn’t lying.

[smolandweirdwriter]

unpopular opinion but i really think inej would change the name of her ship. she told kaz herself that she didn't want to be the wraith anymore. she and her ship would be the Jackal, the suli's holy animal

[exyzedd]

[flightlessangelwings]

Ktober Day 4- Sex Pollen

Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Corporalki!reader

Word count- 1.9k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), mutual pining, multiple orgasms, no use of y/n

Notes- Nikolai my beloved I can't believe I've never written anything for him before! What a way to start writing for him, huh lol?! Prompt list made by me! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is myupdate blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

~

“Captain?” you knocked at the door to his quarters, “Is everything alright?” you called through the door as you tested the handle. Finding it unlocked, you slowly opened it and peeked inside, “Tamar wanted me to check on you.”

“Everything’s alright, love,” Nikolai quickly put himself together as you entered his room. He felt his brow dampen as it lined with sweat, and he adjusted his pants uncharacteristically awkwardly as he laid his eyes on you. He always found you attractive, but suddenly, he couldn’t stop the thoughts that barraged his mind.

“Nikolai,” you breathed his true name as you closed the door behind you, “I can feel your heart… It’s…” pounding erratically, beating faster than you had ever felt before, about to explode, “What happened?” you asked as you rushed over to him and looked him over. He was bright red and you saw the way beads of sweat dripped down his face. He looked like he had lost his composure as he covered his mouth, something you had never seen before.

“It’s… nothing…” he breathed heavily as he tried to hide the way his pants tightened between his legs.

Nikolai and the twins had just returned to the ship from an excursion. Everything went fine, until the Captain got separated from the others and didn’t seem himself when he returned. He refused to say anything, but every Corporalki could sense that something was off, including you. It worried you, but Nikolai didn’t want to worry you.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” you said sternly yet softly, “Now please, let me help you,” you reached out to try and touch his forehead to assess what was wrong.

But the moment the tips of your fingers made the briefest contact with his heated skin, Nikolai grabbed your wrist and looked at you with a fire behind his eyes that you had never seen before. He hissed your name as his hands trembled, “Leave,” his voice was strained as he fought against his own mind. If he gave in to whatever he had pulsing through his veins, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from ravaging you. And Nikolai could never forgive himself if he hurt you at all.

“Nikolai,” you whispered, “I’m not leaving you. Not when you’re like this.”

Nikolai let out a low groan that made your breath hitch in your throat. You felt his agony as his hand clenched tightly around your wrist. But there was something else that weighed heavily in your heart. You hated seeing him like this, helpless to do anything for him. And you would do anything for him. You had been hopefully in love with him from practically your first meeting, but you kept those feelings buried deep down. 

“Listen to me,” Nikolai strained as he hovered closer to you, “I don’t have time to explain,” he forced a half a smile, “And I wouldn’t want anything to come between us if I can’t stop myself right now… Especially before I got the chance to wine and dine you first.”

At that moment, you felt your own face heat up, “What?”

He cursed under his breath as his body shook, “I don’t know what happened out there, I can’t remember, but whatever it is, everything in me is screaming to fuck you senseless right now or else I feel like I’ll explode.” His memory was hazy, but in his time apart from the others, something must have attacked him and poisoned him with… something. It wasn’t like any other poison, though, nothing Nikolai knew of had effects like… this.

Your mouth dropped open as you processed the weight of his words and what they meant. You felt your own heart flutter in your chest as Nikolai’s gaze bore into your soul. You felt the fire behind his eyes and it lit your body aflame. You had wanted this… wanted him… for so long. But you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined this.

“Let me help,” your voice was so hushed you barely even heard your words. But, from the way Nikolai’s expression changed, you knew he heard you. Swallowing your nerves, you closed the small gap between your bodies and cupped his face, “You can use me.”

“Darling,” his voice didn’t even sound like him as he immediately grabbed you and yanked you so that your chest was flush with his. Then, Nikolai looked surprised, as if his body moved on his own at your words, “I couldn't…”

You whimpered as you felt his hard cock against your body, “You need to,” your own voice trembled, “I…” you sighed as you rested your forehead against his, “I can’t lose you,” your confession was a soft whisper, but it held all the emotions that you kept hidden from everyone, especially him.

In a flash, Nikolai’s lips were on yours in a heated kiss. He swallowed the moan you let out as his hands roamed over your body, ripping at your clothes with abandon as he did so. You clung to him and you heard his heartbeat through your ears; it sounded like the way your ears rang when you were too close to cannon fire. You heard the blood rushing through his veins at incredible speed… or was it your own pulse in your ears?

The room spun in a tizzy as you suddenly found yourself naked on Nikolai’s desk, your legs spread open on their own, as if you felt the effects of whatever infected him as well. But, it didn’t matter. All you could think about was the way he bared his own body before you. Quickly, Nikolai stripped himself of his own clothes, and cock springing free as if it guided his body towards yours the moment it was exposed.

You bit your lip and whimpered as he cupped you between your legs.

“Darling,” Nikolai’s voice was low as he fought to hold himself back momentarily, “Do not let me hurt you.”

Seeing the conviction in his eyes made your heart skip a beat and your inner muscles clenched around nothing, “I trust you,” was your reply. It wasn’t a lie, and you wouldn’t have offered yourself to him if you didn’t.

He groaned as he pumped his cock a few times and lined himself up with your entrance. Pausing only for a fraction of a moment, Nikolai met your eyes before he thrust himself into you.

You threw your head back and screamed as his cock stretched you out. Without any preparation, you felt the sting at first, but it quickly turned to pleasure as he rocked himself in and out of you at a fast and harsh pace. You moaned as you clung to him, and Nikolai wrapped his arms around you in response.

The moment he entered you, Nikolai felt an instant relief, but he knew it would take more than that to fully rid himself of whatever plagued him. He never wanted it to be like this with you. He wanted you, of course, he had since you first joined his crew. But Nikolai wanted to court you properly, to earn your love, your trust, your body. He wasn’t even sure you felt the same way about him that he had about you. But, from the moment he got hit with whatever it was, you were the only person on his mind. 

“Saints,” Nikolai murmured as he bit your shoulder to stifle his own moans, “You feel better than I ever imagined.”

You gasped as he hit that sweet spot inside you at the same time his words left his mouth. Tears filled your eyes and emotions took over. All you could do was cling to him as he pounded into you. Moans filled the room as you felt your climax quickly approach.

“Nikolai… I’m…”

He just groaned as he picked up his pace until you came hard. Nikolai wanted to pull back and watch you cum, but at the same time he couldn’t break away from you even by an inch. Instead, he held you tightly as you gushed between your bodies and trembled in his arms.

“Darling…” he growled as he felt his own climax follow yours. And with just a few more pumps of his cock, he came deep inside you as he groaned your name and clutched you tightly. 

Relief washed over him like a cool rain on a hot summer day. Nikolai still felt the aftershocks of his orgasm, and his cock still remained hard inside you, but the urgency was gone. But, just as he was about to pull out of you, you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You can keep going,” you whispered, feeling his hardness as well, “I’m ok.”

“But…”

“I trust you,” your voice was more firm as you pulled back enough to look in his eyes, “Do you trust me?”

“I do,” his reply came without hesitation.

The way you looked at him so sincerely made Nikolai’s cock twitch inside you, and before he knew it, he was thrusting in and out of you again. Your mouth dropped open in a loud moan, but he reeled forward and captured your lips with his one in another deep, heated kiss. As he locked lips with you, Nikolai felt his second climax quickly approach, and without pulling away once more, he came inside you.

You whimpered into his mouth as you felt Nikolai fill you up to the point where his cum dripped down your bodies, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was him.

Breaking away for air with a gasp, Nikolai finally got to look in your eyes as you were lost in pleasure. Lost in pleasure on his cock. Saints, you were beautiful like this. Once more, the need overtook him, and Nikolai pounded into you again until he came for the third time. But this time, he watched your every expression as you moaned and cried out his name.

Your eyes stayed shut as he continued to thrust into you, hitting your sweet spot over and over and over again until you couldn’t take it anymore. And just as Nikolai came for the third time, you did as well, crying out his name and clenching around his cock. This time was different though, for both of you. It felt less urgent, yet just as needy.

“Beautiful,” Nikolai murmured as he watched you fall apart in his arms.

With a gasp, your eyes shot open and your heart skipped a beat as you saw the expression of pure adoration on his face, “Nikolai,” you breathed as you cupped his face.

He gave you a weak smile as he mirrored your action, “I think I’m alright now,” he said softly as he slowly pulled out of you, “Thank you,” he hovered his lips over your, but stopped.

You had whined when he pulled out of you, but the disappointment quickly vanished when you felt his breath on your lips. Blinking your eyes open, you studied his face close up, closer than you ever had before. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now, Nikolai,” you quipped in a hushed, exhausted voice.

“I just…” he sighed, “I owe you.”

You smiled, “What about the wining and dining me then?” you asked with an amused huff.

That made Nikolai’s face light up, “I love it when you quote me,” his tone dropped as he finally kissed you, “And yes,” he murmured with a smirk.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Intro post! + links to everything :)

Hi, I'm DK and this blog is mostly full of me talking about the Six of Crows and the rest of the Grishaverse! (and I'm also on AO3 as she_posts_nerdy_stuff)

It's occurred to me recently that I never did an intro post and also I'm just generally feeling that things over here are super disorganised so I've gone through all of my posts since 2022 (this was not a quick task you guys omg) and done my best to organise everything into tags so that you can access them all from here! All the links to the tags, or sometimes individual posts, are below the cut, and the categories are AO3, Grishaverse analysis, Grishaverse edits, Grishasverse knitting projects, and Grishaverse incorrect quotes.

Please note: this is a lot of stuff to wade through and I am sure to have missed the odd thing, but hopefully this is pretty mch everything! If you're looking for something that I've said should be here and can't find it, let me know and I'll do my best to track it down :)

Thank you all so much, love to you all <3

AO3 LINKS (I'm starting with the easier links, I don't have to make tags for these ones)

Original works

As I'm writing this I have four fics up on AO3, two of which are works in progress, and I'll update this post whenever that changes (ie when I finish them or when I start a new one)

UPDATE: Five fics now! Links are below <3

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

225k words, 146 chapters, Kanej focused with Wesper featured and Helnik kinda mentioned, post-canon, no archive warnings, completed

Summary:

Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Don't Go Blindly Into The Dark

100k + words, 60+ chapters, Wesper focused with Kanej featured and Helnik mentioned, pre-canon, canon divergence, no archive warnings, work in progress

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Meanwhile there is a darkness growing in Ketterdam, and it seems a killer may be stalking the streets of West Stave. An unknown evil is closing its jaws over the city, and it’s starting to feel like nowhere is safe.

Our Gods Have Abandoned Us

19k + words, 11 chapters, Helnik and Kanej with Wesper kinda featured, so much angst, post-canon, canon-divergence (Van Eck wins AU), major character death, work in progress

This one properly started with this post

Summary:

"Of course they do, Jes," Kaz flexed his fingers in his gloves, "That's what losing a war means. And when that war comes, Kerch can't afford for Shu Han to win it. They'll back Fjerda against Ravka now so that when Shu Han turn against them Fjerda will back them in return. Ravka's navy will fall to Kerch's, most of Ravka's territory will go to Fjerda and if it has any money left then I expect plenty of it will be given to Kerch as part of the deal. The Shu will move against Fjerda to take back the territories they were trying to win from Ravka, and Fjerda will pay them little mind until they declare war on Kerch. Novyi Zem will back Shu Han, because they still think their trade ambassador was killed by the Kerch in what was actually Shu Han's last attempt to start a war over here, Fjerda will back Kerch, refugees will flee to the Wandering Isle and their economy won't be able to withstand it, and meanwhile I will remain exactly where I am and get drunk toasting to the end of the world. You're all welcome to join me,"

OR -

A Van Eck wins AU, mostly exploring how the Crows would respond to the situation but I have some semblance of a larger plot forming I just need to piece it together

If I'm Good Will You Come Back?

2k words, 1 chapter, sad and angst, gen but Helnik mentioned, canon compliant, major character death, completed

Summary:

Five times Matthias Helvar spoke to his baby sister through Djel, and one time that she answered

I’ve put major character death as a tag but it’s nothing beyond canon, it’s just depicted in this fic from a slightly different perspective 👍

Portrait of a Dead Girl

7 chapters so far, gen but also F/M, Alina and the Darkling are in a relationship in this but it isn't shipping them and the Darkling is the villain, canon divergence, alternate universe, rape/non-con, underage, major character death, work in progress

Summary:

Alina Starkov was given to Duke Aleksander Morozova of Os Alta in marriage when she was fifteen years old. Within a year, she was dead. The official cause of Alina's death was marked as putrid fever, but many at the time believed, and many in the future will go on to believe, that she was poisoned by her husband.

-

This fic is completely inspired by The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrel, which is a work of historical fiction based on the real lives of Duchess Lucrezia d'Este (née de' Medici) and Duke Alfonso ii d'Este of Ferrara. You don't need any prior knowledge of The Marriage Portrait or history to read and enjoy this fic, but know that my writing is very much going to mimic that of O'Farrel in format and although I'm hoping to write the story in my personal usual writing style I will definitely be borrowing a lot of my descriptors, symbols, and so on and so forth from O'Farrel - there will be some of mine too though :)

Recommendations

Posts where I'm recommending fics can be found here

GRISHAVERSE ANALYSIS LINKS

Okay this is gonna be where this starts getting complicated to organise but here we go, and hopefully now that I have this as a place to keep it organised I'll be able to routinely come back here and update it so we can keep it all together :)

Assorted analysis - Grishaverse

Grishaverse asks

-> subcategory of asks: 'DK finally gets it together and answers her asks because it's about damn time (working title)'

Chapter-by-chapter SOC analysis

(NOTE: I've really been meaning to bring this series back I just haven't had time, are people still interested??)

Specific posts (I've put these ones here because they're generally the ones people ask to be tagged in or that I reference in other posts)

Kanej bathroom scene analysis

Kaz and Wylan's potential to become each other

Rare Spices Billboard

Inej vs the Wraith

Kaz's views on hierarchy

Religion in the Grishaverse (this one is mostly Djel and a little bit of the Saints; I did also write a lot in a reblog of a really good post on Ghezenism by @skepticalcatfrog as well so if you're interested in either part of that you can find it here, I would highly recommend reading their post it's really interesting)

Shadow and Bone TV show analysis

GRISHAVERSE EDIT LINKS

I'm not really sure how to organise this one but all of them are tagged here

If people would like me to I could come back and try to arrange them by character or ship or something?

GRISHAVERSE KNITTING LINKS

Most of the time when I post about this stuff I give updates on all of them, but if you happen to want to filter them (or if I need to come back looking for something specific) then here are the projects:

Kefta cardigan

Six of Crows blanket

Toy crows of the Crows

GRISHAVERSE INCORRECT QUOTES

I organised these by their sources because there were too many for me to choose another way to sort them tbh

Text posts I made based on things my friends and I have actually said. In real life. - the series

Source: friends

Source: the completely made up adventures of Dick Turpin

Source: community

Source: Parks and Rec

Source: the good place

Source: modern family

Source: our flag means death

Source: ghostbusters

Source: renegade nell

Source: the office

Source: young sheldon

Source: the cornetto trilogy

Source: big bang theory

Source: what we do in the shadows

[vorbarrsultana]

aesthetic meme: [1/7] AUs → pre-canon!darkolai

“Do you think I’m like the Darkling?” I studied him — the golden hair, the sharp uniform, those too-clever hazel eyes. “No,” I said slowly. “I don’t think you are.” I rose to go join Mal. “But I’ve been wrong before.” — "siege & storm" *** At night they were the jaunty dandies, at daylight — knights of bitter wars. They weren’t "royalists" and "traitors" — they were all their country’s sons. But that life span in short-lived cyclone, and passed like fleeting summer cloud, Above impassible horizon their guiding star was burning out. — "to the generals of the russian civil war"

[zoyaofthegardvn]

nsfw alphabet for alina starkov if you're still taking requests?

Alina Starkov - NSFW Alphabet <3

A/N: THAT'S MY BABY GIRL I LOVE HER SO MUCH! Yes, I am so down for this! Thanks so much for the request :)

CW: Smut! 18+ plz!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Alina is super cuddly and sleepy! She wants to be held while she drifts off to sleep. She appreciates when you get her a snack and some water, when you clean her up, but mostly she just wants to lay there with you and go to bed. Sometimes you can get her up and into a bath, but mostly, she's outtttt.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

She loves your fingers. She loves to hold your hand, link your pinkies together, and play with your fingers when the two of you are sitting together. Your hand is comforting for her, and she feels really connected to you when you interlace them. And, of course, they do sinful, dirty things to her that she's never felt before. She loves when you finger her, when you push your thumb into her mouth, when you spank her. Your fingers work wonders on her.

On herself, she likes her legs. Mostly, she loves the look of them when they're wrapped around your head. She likes when you hold onto her thigh, when you trail kisses from her ankle to her cunt, when you ride her thigh....

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think Alina comes pretty fast. Sometimes she gets embarrassed by it, but you always reassure her that you think it's hot that she can't help but come fast and hard when you're touching her. She always tries to hold it off, but you know exactly what to do to send her over the edge. It makes overstimulation really, really fun.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

She lovessss when you punish her. She'll act out on purpose, all of the time. She'll tease you, get an attitude with you, play hard to get with you, all so you'll bend her over your leg later. You're not dumb, you know it isn't really a punishment when she loves it so much, but how could you ever deny her?

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not experienced at all. I like to imagine that Mal either doesn't exist in this fic world, or she never had feelings for him, or she got over him before they were ever romantic. You're her first everything, and she loves to learn from you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

She likes when you manhandle her into whatever position you want. She really loves when you throw her over your knee, when you prop her up on all fours on the bed, when you push her to bend over a table. I don't know that she really has a preferred position so much as she loves when you take charge and choose the position for her.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think she tries to be unserious, in an effort to goad you, but you quickly put a stop to it. Sometimes, the moment isn't serious at all, and you two will giggle and make jokes the whole time. But mostly, she's trying to piss you off.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Maybe she trims, but I don't think she really cares. And why should she? Body hair is natural and beautiful. I imagine she doesn't groom her legs and under arms, too. All natural, babyyyy.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think it's usually filthy, but there are most definitely times where it's romantic. If there's any heightened emotions, like anger, fear, sadness, pure adoration and love, it'll be more intimate.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don't think she masturbated before meeting you and I don't think she does after meeting you, either. She has you to make her feel good, she never really has the urge to try it on herself when you're always more than down to help her out.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She likes to be punished. Spanked, overstimulated, choked, called degrading names. She never takes it too seriously, she knows you love her.

I also think she has a possession kink. I think it stems from her unrequited love of Mal, from both the Darkling and Nikolai using her for her power. She loves to know that you get possessive over her, that you want to put her in her place because she's yours. Not because of her power or status, but because you're in love with her.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your bedroom, where things can be as dirty as you want them to be. I also think she likes when the two of you sneak out of the palace, and have sex somewhere on the grounds, out in the forest. She loves being outside, she loves how secluded but open it is. You two have to be pretty far out, though, to do anything outside.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

I don't think it takes much. But if your attention isn't on her for an extended amount of time, I think she'll get pretty needy and want you to focus back on her. She'll tease you, which of course, will lead to something sexual.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don't think she's very into edging, because of how fast she comes she just doesn't care for the feeling of edging. She likes when you overstimulate her, though.

And, of course, anything that is a no for you is a no for her, too.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She loves when you give her head, especially when your fingers come into play. But, she's always down to eat you out, too. Usually, when she's receiving, you lay her out on her back, or eat it from the back. When she's giving, you usually ride her face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I think she likes it fast and rough. There are times where it's slow and sensual, and that's mostly how it was when you two first started being intimate. But now that you are both well acquainted with each other's bodies, you two just go at it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

She's down for them. I don't think she initiates them, but if you pull her off to the side for a quickie, she's totally game. A lot of times, your quickies occur when you two are out on the grounds, but sometimes, they'll be in your bedroom before one of you has to be away for an extended period of time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think she's into experimenting. I don't see her as being the one to bring it up, but if you ask her to try something new, I don't think she'd say no unless it was something that made her uncomfortable. Because of her lack of experience, a lot of things are "experimental" to her as she learns what she likes and doesn't like.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Even though she comes fast, she has a high stamina. She can come 4 or 5 times before being done, and she'll definitely wring a few orgasms out of you before she's done for the night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

If we pretend that vibrators exist in the Grisha world, I think you two would have one. Just a small one you can use to hold against her clit. I don't think you'd have a strap, or if you did, she'd use it on you, but you wouldn't use it on her.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She's a total tease, which came as a surprise to you when you two got together. You always thought she'd be super shy and not very forward, but she loves to get you riled up so you'll correct her. She'll rub your inner thigh, whisper dirty comments in your ear, brush up against you in a suggestive way, bat her eyelashes and pout her lip. She loves to tease you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I think she makes soft, little noises that she tries to hold back. But the second you encourage her to let go and be as loud as she wants, she totally squeals and screams.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

She got super insecure the first time you made her squirt. She had no idea what had just happened and felt so bad about the mess she made. It took some convincing from you to get her to believe that it's normal, and that you thought it was insanely hot. It doesn't happen all the time, but you do try to make her squirt again and again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

She's got a small physique. She's skinny, with small breasts and a small ass. She was a bit insecure about this, but you assured her that you love and adore her just the way she is, and that you're incredibly attracted to her.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

There are certainly a few nights of the week that you two don't have sex. Life at the Little Palace is busy, and some nights neither of you really have the desire. But most nights, you do. I'd say 4-5 days of the week you two are intimate. Definitely a healthy and normal amount.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She falls asleep quickly. As much as she'd like to stay up with you, she just can't help it. You always ware her out. She'll lay on your chest, maybe talk to you for a bit, but she's asleep within a few minutes.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Discord Server: The Gregs

18+ Grishaverse book specific server! All ships and sides of fandom are welcome, just keep things civil. I’m aiming for a chill environment so please also keep canon bashing to a minimum.

We’re currently partly through a series read through! We’re starting Siege and Storm tomorrow!

Feel free to message me for a link

[frost-queen]

When darkness needs light (Reader x General Kirigan)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @theletterhart, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly, @denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco @idkwhatmyusernameis,  @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07​

Summary: Reader has the power to destroy the darkling which makes him pretend he likes her to grow closer on his ambitions of claiming your powers for himself. After a while, he finds himself falling for you. One day you overhear him speak with a friend about taking your powers and ending your life. Upset and frightened, you take a run for it. Only to be discovered by Kirigan as your hiding spot wasn’t that great. Forced by him, you confront him about his doings. He won’t deny it, yet he has something else to say that might shock you. 

“I’ll make her mine.” – General Kirigan spoke, bend over a map. His eyes darkening at the thought. – “Her power shall be mine.” – The Grisha behind him startled as his fist came down hard on the table. His fist landing on Ravka.

────────────────────────────────────────────

“Y/n Y/l/n.” – you turned your head when he approached. His expression unreadable yet fierce. He took your hand, bringing it to his lips. A gentle peck left on your hand. – “General Kirigan.” – you answered as he dropped your hand. – “Welcome to the little palace.” – he curled a smile up. – “I hope your stay will be pleasant.” – he addressed in a polite manner. – “I must say I was not prepared to travel here.” – you told him. 

“You are Grisha are you not?” – he rhetorically asked, offering you his arm. You took it, humming loudly. – “Then this is your place miss Y/l/n.” – the doors opened as he led you out into the corridors. Grisha of various kind walking around, heading for their destination. Some of the Grisha turning their heads in your direction. Curious as to who the new face was. To see who was walking with General Kirigan. – “Do not worry.” – he spoke noticing how unwary you were off the others. 

You were after all the odd duck on the pond. – “You are a powerful Grisha… one of a kind.” – he spoke staring with a certain hunger in his eyes at you. His lips hinting the smallest curl of a smirk. – ���They would not dare to come close.” – his expression were not yet clear to you. Slowly nodded, he continued to accompany you to your chambers. He opened the door for you as you went in. – “If there is anything you need, simply ask.” – he said. – “You are too kind General.” – you replied with a curtsy. Kirigan forced a polite chuckle. He shut the door in front of him, his expression faltering into something cold. It would only be a matter of time until he has a hold of your powers. Powers that could end him.

Wanting to get some fresh air, were you making your way outside. Walking away from the training grounds. You found yourself stumbling upon an old fountain. Overgrown with dry plants, the pit blank. Wanting to see a bit more of the fountain, you started pulling at the dry plants to clear the way. Throwing the pulled content down on the ground. – “What are you doing?” – you suddenly heard, making you stop. Turning around you were startled by General Kirigan. 

His expression blank. – “I…I… didn’t mean to overstep. I simply wanted to see more… forgive me.” – you spoke quickly. General Kirigan let his eyes go up and down on you. Mystery running his brain. – “It is dead.” – he pointed out, unable to hide the slightest hint of annoyance towards you. – “There is still life in death.” – you answered with a faint smile. The general furrowed his brows. You held your finger up for him to wait and see. Kirigan tensed his jaw, hardening his expression at whatever foolishness you were going to do. You performed a set of finger movements as Kirigan’s eyes widened. 

A warm sunlight emerged from the palm of your hand. You lowered it to the dried out plants and roots wanting to bring life to them when you were being put to a stop. Kirigan’s hand tightly around your wrist. – “Don’t!” – he insisted. A darkness falling over his face. His expression made you gasp, pulling your hand out of his grip. Your powers faded out in the blink of an eye. He tried to form a smile, but it was almost clear he was putting on a mask. – “Forgive me.” – you blurted out, running past him to get out of here. Kirigan looked over his shoulder, no longer smiling. You had the power to destroy them, under no circumstance could he allow you to use them.

**

Many heads turned when you entered. Radiant and bright like the brightest star. Smiling politely, you remained humble about yourself. The Grisha that held the power of light and life. The exact opposite of what the fold holds. Feeling a bit exposed in the light dress you were wearing. Your gaze fell upon General Kirigan in the crowd. Something different in his eyes and expression. 

Bestowing his gaze upon you in all his glory. Moving his hands slightly to his waist, he inhaled deep. You wanted to make your way over to him to greet when a person blocked your way. – “Miss Y/l/n.” – he spoke, a Grisha wearing a red uniform. You showed him your smile, not letting show you actually weren’t interested in a conversation. – “May I just say, I admire you much.” – he spoke. – “You are as radiant and beautiful as the whispers have spoken.” – He bend down to kiss your hand, suddenly pushed aside. 

Stumbling and tripping over his own feet. General Kirigan standing in his place. – “Keep your flattery to yourself.” – he mumbled, glaring at the man. He offered you his hand as you took it. Cleary, he had been bothered with him otherwise he wouldn’t have intervened. He guided you away. Keeping you close to him by all means for the entire gathering revolving around you. Wherever you went was he. Always watching and guarding.

**

In search for General Kirigan you searched the familiar places he would normally be. When he wasn’t there, went you to his quarters. Knocking gently on the doors. – “Kirigan?” – you called out, opening the door. At first glance it was deserted making you enter more. – “Kirigan are you in here?” – you asked looking curious around. It was the first time you ventured into his quarters. Finding it intriguing what you all could find. You wandered to the grand table piece in the center. 

A map scattered over it. Dropping your finger on the fold, you let it slide down the length of it. Knowing how much it had caused. Your attention fell upon a painting, making you head over to it. Tilting your head a bit to the side, you observed it closely. Hearing muffled voices in the hallway drawing in closer made you panic. Looking frantically around of what you might do. Seeing a hiding place, you rushed over to it, hiding behind it. Crouching just in time as the door opened. 

Immediately you recognized General Kirigan’s voice and someone else’s. The door closed as you were trapped with them inside. From your hiding place, you had little view of what they were doing. Kirigan bend over the map. The other person on the other side, opposite from him. – “It won’t be long now.” – Kirigan spoke, smirking at the map. – “What about the girl?” – his companion spoke. Your eyes widened, intrigued by the conversation you were eavesdropping on. Kirigan moved his head up. – “How much longer are you going to dread this on?” – his friend spoke.

Kirigan removed his hands from the table, straightening his posture. – “Do you question my ambitions?” – he questioned a shadow creeping up on him. Darkening the room a bit. – “All is set in motion for me to take her powers and join them with mine.” – he answered loudly. – “There will be no more of Y/n Y/l/n, and I shall have become more powerful than ever!” – he expressed. You had to cover your mouth quickly to deafen out your gasp. Eyes wide with fear and shock at his words. 

General Kirigan intends to steal your powers and end your life. Lip trembling, your eyes started to fill with tears. Finally you saw the true face of the General. The power-seeking villain that he is. You couldn’t stay here and didn’t want to stay here. Shuffling from your hiding place, you wanted out. You didn’t want to hear more about how he would abuse you and manipulate you into giving up your powers. Or simply sucking them out you, giving you the kill of mercy afterwards. 

Staying as silent as you could, you were shuffling crouched towards the door. Still in hiding behind several items. Your toe hit something hard as it clattered to the ground. Biting down your hand, you hoped he hadn’t heard that. – “Who’s there!” – General Kirigan called out loudly. Breathing out in shivers, you could sense him drawing closer. There was only one option for you and that was to take the highway. Getting up, you ran towards the door. Your sudden appearance startling the darkling as you ran past in a haze.

Realizing it was you, he went after you. You ran, ran for your life, knowing for sure he’d get rid of you now. He surely must have seen you. Nothing would stop him now from taking your powers for himself. Get rid of the only source of power capable of ending him. Looking over your shoulder quick, he was in hot pursuit. A fierceness in his eyes as the corridor turned darker with his presence. Turning more greyish as if all the light was slowly getting sucked out. 

Panicking and crying, you needed to get out of here. If he got his hands on you it would be over. You rushed into a study, fidgeting to turn the look. Hands too much trembling to get the job done under the pressure of fear. You screamed when the door got slammed hard against you. General Kirigan pushing his way through. You moved back as far away from him as you could. – “Don’t come any closer!” – you threatened hand in the ready. Kirigan seemed unimpressed, approaching you anyways. – “Look at me Y/n.” – he said forceful. 

Turning your head away, you avoided eye contact. You kept backing away, trying to see how you could possibly go around him without being grabbed. – “Y/n.” – he spoke coming nearer. There was no way out as he cornered you. Hands pressed near your head, his eyes staring intensely down at you. – “Look at me.” – he asked since you were still avoiding his gaze. – “Is power all that matters to you?” – you called out. 

Your words losing a bit of it’s power without your fierce gaze. A gaze that for sure would shake him to his core. – “Is that why you brought me here, befriended me so it would be easier for you to take my powers and kill me!” – you spitted out, directing your gaze to him. He didn’t move a muscle at the angering look you gave him. – “Yes!” – he answered. – “That was indeed what I intended.”

You felt your lip tremble once more. Hurt by the shocking truth. You don’t know why, perhaps a part of you wanted him to lie. To tell you that wasn’t the cause, even when it was. You wanted him to lie to ease your beating heart. – “You have the power to end my existence Y/n.” – he spoke moving his head closer. Intimidating. – “All that mattered to me were your powers and how I could obtain them for myself.” – heartbroken, you turned your head away. 

Kirigan moving your head back by your chin. Wanting you to look at him. – “All that has changed.” – he spoke softening his voice. – “I no longer love your powers… I love you…all of you.” – he confessed. You felt like losing your mind. Not seeing wrong from right. – “Not a moment ago you proclaimed so eagerly how you’d kill me; do you truly believe me to be that foolish?” – you replied, giving him a push. – “I lied.” – he spoke, cupping your cheeks. – “Liar.” – you answered, shaking your head. 

Kirigan kept drawing nearer as you refused. Shaking your head in protest. – “Yet I did.” – he breathed out, steadying your face in his grip. Eyes wide he forced his lips onto yours. Kissing you deeply as you were still trembling on your knees from fear. Not knowing for sure if he still wanted to end your life or not. Tilting your head a bit more, you answered his kiss as a tear rolled down your cheek. No matter what, you couldn’t deny the language of your heart.

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Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[pleasurebuttonwrites]

the privateer & me

Chapter 3 sturmhond x ofc | 1.7k | rating: teen Masterlist

Rumors fly after Saskia's dinner with Captain Sturmhond

author's note: this is set prior to the events of shadow & bone. later chapters will contain smut. content: no warnings

~~~

A few days had gone by without me seeing him. And it was agonizing. I did everything but march up to his quarters and knock on the door. Which would have really gotten people talking — and I didn’t need that. The morning after our dinner, the gossiper of the Volkvolny, Anya, cornered me as I arrived for my shift in the galley. She asked about my night and I could swear everyone leaned in about an inch to hear better. I told her I would tell her later, but I didn’t plan on telling her anything. If rumors were going to spread, they wouldn’t be seeded by the truth. 

Unfortunately, it only served to make it all the more mysterious — and therefore interesting — to everyone. I was nearly tempted to set the record straight, but I didn’t want it getting back to the captain that I had said anything. By then the message would more than likely get warped and then he’d think I’d said something I definitely hadn’t.

I wanted to talk to him myself. I needed to understand what happened. What if my turning away, well, turned him away? Was that it? I hadn’t kissed him when he wanted and he just dropped me without a word? Even though we’d had such a wonderful time together? I tried to put him out of my mind, but I had really felt something. I didn’t want to believe that he’d be this way.

I would find excuses to be above deck. I practically haunted the spot that he first asked me to dinner, but then I would feel pathetic and I would go back to my bunk. But all that was waiting for me there was this damn book that I still was not able to read. I had been so excited about it, but every time I picked it up, my thoughts were consumed with him, and I was trying expressly not to think of him. So it sat there unread, while I paced trying desperately to distract myself.

By the fourth day, the rumors changed. As we hadn’t been seen together again, people were saying we had become more secretive, but I also heard that we “fizzled” out. I was afraid the latter might actually be true.

Finally, I felt like I had a normal day again. I was not consumed with thoughts about him. Oh it came and went, but I was able to enjoy things here and there and my focus was back. I even entertained the idea of starting the book when I was finished with work for the day.

So of course, that was exactly the day that when I left the galley to return to my bunk, the captain was waiting for me in the corridor. I was so stunned I stopped in my tracks and just stared at him. 

“Miss Zimová,” he said with a head nod.

A few others emerged from the galley and when they saw us, they gave us looks and started excitedly whispering as they walked away. It made me so angry, I walked right past him. I realized that as the captain, I was supposed to show him more respect than that. There was a part of me that wondered if I would be censured for that but my pride wouldn’t let me backtrack, so I just kept on going.

I wasn’t sure if he was following me at first. Was that disappointment I felt? But then I heard his footsteps and I could swear I could feel the exact spot on my back that he was staring at. I got to the part of the ship where I could go left and go back to my bunk or go right to the storage area — where no one would be. As I approached, I told myself to go left. That nothing good could come of going right. Left, and my life went back to the way it was. Eventually the talk would die down and everyone would forget about that one time I dined with the captain. 

But then I was at the end of the corridor and, without stopping, my feet took me to the right. I strained to pick up any telltale sounds from his footsteps. Did he falter when I turned? Was he walking faster now? Or was that me?

We were far enough into the storage section that we were completely alone, but I didn’t want to turn and face him yet. I came to a stop and it was so quiet that for a heart-stopping moment I wondered if he had even followed me at all. Did I just turn down this way for nothing?

I turned slowly to find him patiently waiting and watching me intently. It also seemed he was doing his damnedest not to look amused. He did not succeed.

“Trying to get me alone, Zimová?” he asked.

I instantly blushed. This was not where I was intending this to go, but I had to admit the thought gave me a thrill. I mean, I was trying to get him alone, but not for what he was suggesting. Just to get away from prying eyes so that we could talk.

“I... no...,” I stammered out.

“My apologies,” he said. “I was only trying to break the tension.”

“I don’t suppose I need to tell you that you failed.” I was definitely snippier than I meant to be. “What can I do for you, captain?”

“Would you like to join me for dinner again?”

I had to stop myself from blurting out ‘yes.’ “Can I say no?” I asked instead.

I don’t think I’d ever seen his confidence crack like it did when I asked this. He recovered quickly, but the disappointment was unmistakable. “Yes, of course,” he answered. “Good evening, Miss Zimová.”

He turned to go, and I realized what that had sounded like. “Wait!” I called out. He politely turned to listen. “I just wanted to know if I could. Not that I was going to.”

Hope bloomed on his face, and I was intoxicated by the fact that I put it there. “Is that a yes?”

—

“Why does it bother you so much?” he asked, and there was laughter in his eyes. He didn’t seem to take any stories or rumors seriously. I guess if you were a mysterious captain of a smuggling ship, you’d have heard it all. But I had been mostly unnoticed until he noticed me, and I hated the looks and the whispers that followed me around.

“I just hate what they’re saying.”

We were comfortably arranged in the seating area after dinner, myself on the same couch from the night of the party, and the captain in the armchair next to it.

“What would you rather they say about you?”

“Nothing! I miss being a nobody.”

“That’s a shame,” he told me, and the way he looked at me made it feel as intimate as if we were seated next to each other.

I shook my head, partially to refute him, but also to dissipate the tension we kept creating. “Have you not been hearing what they’re saying?”

“I have,” he said simply.

“And?”

“And what? Are you suggesting we really do the things people think we’ve done? Because that could be interesting...”

His lips were positively glistening when he said this. I caught myself staring and got up from my  spot on the couch and began to pace. When I turned back around to say something, his eyes were drinking me in. It stopped me in my tracks and my mind went blank.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have warned you when I first invited you to dinner. I’m so used to it by now, I didn’t even think about it. If I could do anything to stop it, I would.”

“Can’t you just set the record straight? I mean, you’re the captain, they have to listen to you.”

“What exactly is the record?” he asked as he studied me.

“That we’re...” I faltered. While ‘friends’ was the right answer it didn’t feel like that totally captured it. But that was all I wanted others to know.

“Friends?” he finished for me. I nodded. “They may have to listen to me when I give orders, Miss Zimová, but they can still think whatever they like. Can you imagine what they would think if I gathered everyone round and announced that you and I were friends?”

“I guess it would be pretty strange,” I mumbled.

“They would just believe what they’ve been saying even more. They talk more to amuse themselves anyway. Hopefully something exciting will happen soon, and then they’ll forget all about us.”

“Yeah, but...”

“But what?”

“But they’ll still think the wrong thing about me.”

“And that bothers you?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not how they see me! I wish they could get it right.”

He pondered that for a rare moment of seriousness. “Do you think that’s even possible? How do you know they didn’t have the wrong idea before they started talking about you? They don’t know you now. They didn’t know you then either.”

Damn, that makes a lot of sense. “I suppose the difference is that I didn’t know what they thought before.”

“Then stop listening. That’s what I do.”

“Yeah, but you get to retreat to your quarters, and no one would dare say anything to your face.”

“Then I shall give you your own quarters. And take you off kitchen duty. I’ll fill your room with books and you can fill your days with reading, and having dinner with me, of course.”

“I don’t even want to imagine what the talk would be then,” I said wryly.

“The point is that you won’t have to hear it anyway.”

I shook my head.

“It’s a one time offer,” he warned, but from the light in his eyes I could tell he wasn’t serious. 

I shook my head again.

“As you like it, Miss Zimová.”

“Captain?”

“Hmm?”

“Since we’re friends and all, maybe you can call me Saskia.”

[ravenyenn19]

Ily go follow me on threads (@ravenyenn19) Yes I was influenced, no I don’t care. I plan on giving y’all a glimpse into the nightmare that is my inner thoughts on that app🫡🐦‍⬛

[criminalamnesia]

This is me trying

summary: the last time you saw Nikolai, he told you he never wanted to see you again. now, you’re standing outside his door.

warnings: angst, brief mentions of torture (not explicit), reader is manipulated by the darkling, tidemaker!reader, not proofread, gender neutral reader

author’s note: me? writing more Nikolai while listening to Taylor swift? it’s more likely than you think. this one was inspired by “this is me trying.” listen to it while reading for the full experience :))

The last time you had seen Nikolai, he had told you he never wanted to see you again.

Now, here you are, standing in front of the door to his quarters. You would laugh if you weren’t so terrified of how he was going to react.

Would he still be mad? Would he scream at you, tell at you to get out? No, you thought. He wouldn’t do that.

But maybe time had changed him. He had still been a wild prince when you had last seen him– taking careless risks and throwing himself to the front of every battle. He had inspired you to be better– and you had been, for a time, but you weren’t Nikolai.

You did not have his heart. You did not have his resilience or kindness or grace. You were a burnt-out grisha who had abandoned her post. You were an outcast, a deserter, a failure.

Would he see that?

You inhaled deeply, your fist raised to knock. It hovered above the white wood of the door, shaking slightly. You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to knock. Your fist did not move.

“What are you doing?”

The sound of Nikolai’s voice had startled you, causing the bubble of water you’d been manipulating to pop. You groaned as it fell in droplets back into the lake.

“Saints, Nikolai, when did you get so quiet?” You huffed, lowering your outstretched hands and turning around to face him.

He was still in his First Army attire. He must’ve just gotten back from whatever front he’d been at this time– probably the northern. The Fjerdans had been causing problems lately.

“I was quite loud, actually. Maybe you were just too focused on your bubble.” He grinned, opening his arms to you. You rolled your eyes, stepping forward and into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly. You gave a breathless laugh at his strength.

“I’m happy to see you too, Nik. But you’re going to squeeze me to death–” you said, earning a laugh from him before he mercifully dropped his arms.

You stepped back, giving him a wide smile. He smiled in return, looking you up and down. “New Kefta?” He questioned.

You nodded, subconsciously tugging at one of your sleeves. “The Fabrikators have been trying to incorporate stronger material into the Keftas to make them more protective. Guess I’m lucky they’re doing it now,” you gave a small laugh, but it wasn’t joyful.

Nikolai frowned, his eyebrows raising in confusion. “What do you mean?”

You inhaled, glancing at his face before looking down to your hands. Your hands, which held so much power. Your hands, that would soon be stained with blood.

“The General is sending some of the Second Army up to the northern front. The Fjerdan witch hunters have been abducting the grisha stationed there. He wants us to go put an end to it.”

Nikolai slowly shook his head. “That doesn’t make sense. I was just up there– we didn’t hear about any of that.”

“This is a grisha matter, Nik. The General thought it best for it to stay within the Little Palace. I shouldn’t even be telling you.”

“So he’s sending you up there?” Nikolai scoffed. “To what, be abducted like the rest? He should be sending his heartrenders–”

“Nikolai, this may be hard for you to hear, but I’m not who I was when you left. You’ve been gone for months. My abilities have grown– the General is impressed with my skills. This is a chance to show him he wasn’t wrong in showing me favor.”

“So, what, you’re one of his henchmen now? You know what happens to the grisha he ‘favors’–”

“I don’t want to talk about this any more, Nikolai.” You interrupted, holding up a hand. You knew he was right. You knew about Genya. About Zoya. About all the other grisha the Darkling took a shining too. But the Darkling’s favor came with better training, higher status. It made you stronger.

You knew you had to tread carefully, but you were tired of watching Nikolai ride off to battle and doing nothing about it. Now, you could help your prince and your country with your powers, and if Nikolai didn’t understand that, then so be it.

Before he could speak again, you continued. “I’m supposed to be at the stables now, anyway. We’re leaving soon. I don’t know when I’ll be back,” you admitted, meeting Nikolai’s gaze. “We can talk about it when I return.”

He swallowed his protests and nodded. “Good luck, then.”

You could hear movement behind the heavy wooden doors. Even at this late hour, Nikolai was still awake. It didn’t surprise you– he had always been a night owl, even when you were children.

You used to sneak away from the Little Palace in the middle of the night and meet Nikolai wherever you could. The gardens, the kitchens, the lake. The pair of you would always make it a challenge to see who could stay up longer, wanting to spend as much time together as you could before sleep took you. Nikolai always won.

You took another deep breath. You had foolishly hoped that he would be asleep– even though you knew he wouldn’t be– so you could have an excuse as to why you didn’t come to see him.

You knew he had to know you were here. Someone had to have told him– probably one of the heartrender twins. They had been keeping a watchful eye on you since you had arrived, and you couldn’t quite blame them.

Perhaps Alina had told him. Even though there was no way she could know your past with Nikolai, maybe she had mentioned who she was traveling with to him. You knew he couldn’t forget you, wouldn’t forget you– just like you with him.

You returned from the northern border a month later, and Nikolai barely recognized you.

You were different– and that, he understood. Battle changed even the best of people. But what happened to you, whatever it was, had made you someone different. Someone colder, darker.

He had heard whispers of what had happened to you up there. You refused to talk to him about it– when you talked to him at all. It was hard to get a word in with you seeing as you were constantly training, or right under the Darkling’s nose.

What you had done, what you had seen, Nikolai couldn’t imagine. The servants that went between the Little and Grand Palaces whispered. They said only about half of the grisha sent to the front came back, you amongst them. They said unspeakable things had happened there– the witch hunters had tortured your fellow grisha– even you.

They said you had drained the life from the men that did that to you and the other grisha, leaving them a deflated heap on the snowy ground– and even when they begged for mercy, you did not stop.

You continued to be sent out after that. The Darkling sent you wherever he could– the border of Shu-Han, on an expedition to Ketterdam, right into Fjerda to rescue taken grisha. Each time you returned, you lost more of yourself. You spoke less to Nikolai.

He was worried, and who wouldn’t be? His best friend had become someone– something unrecognizable. He finally cornered you one day before he was to leave on a journey to Kerch. Little did his family know that he was actually going to begin another escapade as Sturmhond.

“You need to come with me,” he had told you, one of his hands reaching forward to grasp yours. The pair of you were hidden away in the cluster of trees by the lake. You were supposed to be leaving soon for another assignment. Nikolai should’ve already been gone, but he couldn’t leave without seeing you.

You glanced down at his hands on yours. You looked back up at him, his expression pleading as his eyes all but begged you. You only shook your head.

“The General needs me. I’m leaving for Ketterdam in the morning.” You said, and Nikolai shook his head.

“Please, listen to me. The General is destroying you– I’ve heard the stories. You’re someone your younger self would’ve been terrified of,” he frowned, squeezing your hands.

“I’m stronger,” you replied. “And i’m fulfilling my purpose– just as you did. You went off with the First Army, and now I’m doing the same with the Second. I’m fighting for Ravka– for grisha– and I’m someone the General trusts. He isn’t destroying me, Nikolai. I won’t let him.”

“He has blinded you. He has made you powerful, yes, but he’s made you cold. Dark. Remember when we used to meet in the garden at night? When we talked about everything. When it was just us.” He said, and you nodded. “You told me once that you didn’t want to be another one of his pawns. That you would never let yourself fall for his honeyed words.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you pulled your hands from Nikolai’s grasp. “And I’ve kept my word. I haven’t,” you said through your teeth, almost as if you were fighting to convince yourself you were right.

“You have. He’s put you on a pedestal, made you someone you never should’ve become. He’s a monster, and he’s making–”

You gave a humorless laugh, cutting him off. “He’s making me a monster? Is he?” You said, crossing your arms. “He’s given me what I need to do what I need to do. If that makes me a monster, so be it.”

“And those witch hunters you killed, what you did to them– that wasn’t monstrous?”

“That was deserved,” you said. Nikolai took a step back.

“You know that it wasn’t. You’re not that kind of person.”

“You don’t know what they do,” you spat, arms falling to your sides, fists clenched in anger. “You didn’t see what I saw. You played Prince in the first army, when the worst thing that happens is a shot to the shoulder. I watched them,” your voice wavered slightly. “I watched them burn my friends alive. Feed them to their wolves. All of my friends– their screams are etched into my memory. Those Fjerdans deserved worse than what I did,” you spat. “And I’d do it over and over again. And if you can’t understand that, then you need to leave, Nikolai.”

“I’ve seen horrors, too. It’s not a contest,” he spoke, his brows furrowed. “But I didn’t let it do to me what it’s done to you.”

“No, of course not.” You said. “The second son, forever trying to prove he’s not just a bastard.”

You instantly regretted the words as soon as they left your mouth, but it was too late to take them back. Nikolai gave a short nod, his hands moving to straighten his shirt.

“This time, when you leave,” he said, his gaze boring into you. “Don’t let me see you again if you come back.”

More movement could be heard behind the door. You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you dropped your fist. You couldn’t face him. It had been a few years, but you were sure he remembered your last conversation all to well. He wouldn’t want to see you.

Even though you had spent every day since deserting the Second Army regretting your last words to him, regretting what you had become, wishing you could see Nikolai again, you were still scared to knock.

You had been awful, and he had been right. The Darkling had manipulated you, just like he had with Genya. With Zoya. With Alina. You just another girl who fell for his manipulation and his lies– who allowed him to make you into something you hated. He had turned a blind eye at your suffering. He used your powers for his own agenda. He had lied, had abused you– and you had ruined the best thing you had had because of his influence.

You didn’t know if Nikolai was aware that when you left for Ketterdam, you never came back to Ravka. You had deserted the Second Army after that assignment, after seeing things you would never be able to wipe from your memory.

And while you were running from place to place, hiding from Kerch slavers or Shu-Han experimenters or Fjerdan witch hunters, you realized that Nikolai was right. Your powers had gone from a comfort to a reminder of the terrible things you had done. You were no longer the General’s star pupil, no longer that naive little tidemaker that snuck away in the middle of the night to watch the stars with the Prince.

You were tired, and in the midst of trying to piece yourself back together from everything you had suffered over the years, you had been roped into helping the Sun Summoner. Perhaps you had agreed to help her to atone– to try and forgive yourself. To begin righting your wrongs.

And now you were standing in the Grand Palace, a place you’d never thought you’d see again– standing outside of your once-friend’s quarters.

“Saints,” you whispered to yourself, shaking your head to try and disperse the anxious thoughts crowding it. “Why is this harder than battle?”

You raised your hand again, and finally, you knocked.

Nothing. You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. Nikolai must’ve gone to sleep–

The doors creaked opened to reveal the prince, his blond hair tousled– probably from running his hands through it as he thought (it was a nervous tick of his)– and his eyes tired.

You dropped your hand to your side as Nikolai looked you up and down.

“You’re alive,” he breathed, his eyes meeting yours. You gave a small nod.

Maybe no one told him of your arrival, after all.

“Saints,” he gave a small chuckle, stepping into the hallway. “You’re alive!”

He engulfed you in a hug, his arms squeezing you like they had so many times in the past.

“Hey, Nik,” you breathed, a small smile creeping onto your lips.

“I missed you, too.”

And those words held more weight than he would ever know.

[malinaa]

as a hunger games and shadow and bones enjoyer, thoughts on a malina thg au, where they’re both tributes for 12?? mal is so peeta “boy next door, boy with the bread” energy

please just the thought of malina in the games makes me sob 😭 alina wouldn’t volunteer because honestly the only person she would volunteer for would be mal (and vice versa). i think at that point alina is just praying to anyone who would listen that let it not be mal let it not be mal not him please not him. but then d12’s escort calls out, “malyen oretsev” and her world crumbles before her eyes.

one of the big differences from everlark is def that malina’s romance dynamic is switched, on the surface at least. alina’s love for mal is so so so evident in the beginning of s&b but you don’t really get mal reciprocating that love until the latter half of the book (mal has been in love w her since he was literally a child.. peetacoded fr but he didn’t like act on it until he realized that he lost her … katnisscoded 🤭).

anyway everyone in d12 knows that they’re in love with each other but the other doesn’t know so the star-crossed lovers angle could still be played. mal is DEFINITELY charming and handsome enough to get the capitol eating off his hand (that one quote in s&s that’s like if you put him in a fjerdan camp he’ll come back on their shoulders etc etc). i think what spark’s the capitol’s interest in them is their closeness. that spark gets fanned into a flame when the tiny slip of a girl from district 12 got a high training score and idk if there’d be any grisha power in this au so use ur imagination. when the interviews roll around, i think alina would talk about mal in a way that makes the interviewer’s eyes gleam but they run out of time before they get to the Big Question. then mal’s interview rolls around and he charms everyone in the audience and when the interviewer asks, “and alina? you two are childhood friends, you grew up together. what was it like being reaped together?” and mal gives everyone a sad smile and says instead, “let me tell you a little story. i was never a brave kid.” and he laughs, self-deprecating. everybody’s attention is on him, their dissent rumbling through the air because there’s no way a d12 kid with a relatively high training score (i’m shooting for a 9 maybe. peeta’s 8 would be good too) wouldn’t be brave. “alina would argue with me just like you all are doing, but i swear it’s true. i was weak. afraid of the dark. the orphanage ran out of candles once during a storm and i couldn’t sleep and even though she was in a completely different part of the building, she knew that i had a fear of the dark, so she ran out in the middle of the night and traded some of her old clothes for a single candle. she slipped into my room, all wet from the rain but i didn’t care. alina lit the candle and all i could think was, ‘she’s so much braver than me.’ she gave me light.” mal locks his gaze with the interviewer. “she is my light.” anddddd time’s up!

the capitol’s abuzz with mal’s declaration. they feel like he’s def in love with her (he is) and she doesn’t know it (she doesn’t—probably thinks he’s playing it up for the camera for sponsors) etc etc. the games start idk they’d try to stick with each other and the gamemakers have sick fun trying to pull them apart just so that a reunion would boost ratings. mal keeps finding extreme ways to help alina and keep her safe and she’s doing the same, but mal is a good soldier. he probably downplayed his skills in training to everyone, even her because he’s a damn good shot and a damn good hunter. the 2 winners from the same district announcement gets made and they run with more vigor to find each other but when they do, they obviouslyyyyy need to have The Cave Scene so mal is injured by a mutt or something idk. the story that mal tells in the cave that gets them a Feast would probably be the similar one that peeta gave (“your hair was in two braids instead of one” blah blah) but mal’s version of probably an amalgamation of something similar to alina cutting up her hand and when baby mal said “i’m going to marry alina” and he definitelyyyyyy tucks alina’s hair back and whispers, “i wanted more for you. a white veil in your hair. vows we could keep.” and they Kiss blah blah u get it. they risk their lives for each other again, at the end mal grabs alina’s hand and positions the knife to his chest but alina throws the knife away and blah blah nightlock or whatever it could be something else. regardless they LIVE and boom. end of book 1 🙏

or you could have a thg malina au with grisha powers (but they’re hidden/not in the capitol maybe or idk) and mal does shove the knife into his heart and alina like Bursts into light and they get miraculously saved by her light and d13 rescues them idk

[baekhyunbabybunni]

can anyone recall a darklina fic where mob!alexander and alina were engaged to be married and he was making her wait to ... 👀... until then. they were both catholic (him rigorously so, while she was just brought up in the church orphanage...i think). there was a big age difference and breeding kink if i remember correctly, also i think a scene with some horses and one at a convenience store where alina used to steal... plz help it's my emotional support fic and I lost it 😢 🙏🏾 😭