#the ghost of hamlet's dad

[msgrammarella]

Really need to blame @ryannorth for all my parenting successes. My six-year-old grabbed To Be or Not to Be off my bookshelf at random. She likes to show me all the murders. She asks me if things in daily life are "super rad." She wants a sword for Christmas so she can drop her old one and say "it sucks now." She made me do math in the car to find an alternate timeline. I have explained words like "debris" and "badass" to her. Yesterday we spent an hour fighting pirates together in choose-your -own-adventure format.

It's been two months since this started. Don't send help. It's awesome. Like totally awesome. Though the book is getting worn out.

[hamletthesanedane]

Do you really think a demon would do that, horatio? Just assume the ghostly form of the king my father and tell lies?????

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Hamlet is just Anakin Skywalker in a different font

No I will not be taking notes on this

[merlions]

Im terribly sorry to report that I am having Hamlet Thoughts again :/

It is possible I have said this all before maybe several times. But!

Why is everyone so judgy of Hamlet!!! It feels like when people were all "wait Romeo and Juliet makes sense if you remember they were fuckin TEENS" but the same justice has not been granted my good boy Small Ham??

Well Hamlet:

Was also a teen!

With a recently dead dad!

Found out his mother married his uncle.

Found out his UNCLE MURDERED HIS FATHER.

Noticed no one cared! No one even knew, really? So he couldn't really do anything about it cause now this guy is the king??

Was commanded by the ghost of his dead father to murder that guy!

Does NOT want to commit murder!!! I cannot stress enough how much Hamlet's whole entire arc is him just making up excuses to stall because he can't think of a way around having to kill Claudius but he just! Does! Not! Want! To!

"OK the only real evidence I even have of this is a literal ghost and however much faith I have in my own judgement. So like. Maybe I should fact check that before I murder a possibly innocent guy in cold blood?"

Is a nervous wreck!! "He's pretending he was driven mad by grief, he's not actually mentally unwell" he's literally contemplating suicide, he did a whole long soliloquy about it. Y'know, the one that goes like, "To be or not to be"? It was this whole thing idk, I thought it was pretty memorable but maybe that's just me

"Hey mom maybe we should like not hang around that guy he seems like he's maybe bad news-oh FUCK he's literally spying on me saying this to you, hes gonna kill me SHIT" *stabs randomly at curtain*

ACCIDENTALLY KILLS HIS GIRLFRIEND'S DAD

CAUSES HER THE SAME MADNESS BY GRIEF HE'S [only half] PRETENDING TO BE AFFLICTED BY

NOT GOOD. THE SITUATION IS NOT IDEAL

Does this fuckin play he was stalling on to try to at least get Claudius to say something about it, like truly can we salvage something out of this

NOPE

CLAUDIUS GETS A GUY TO ATTEMPT MURDER ON HAMLET BY POISONING HIS BLADE IN A DUEL

GETS IMPATIENT AND TRIES TO KILL HIM WITH MORE, OTHER POISON

HAMLETS MOM DRINKS THAT POISON TO KEEP HAMLET FROM DRINKING IT

THE GUY COERCED TO KILL HAMLET THEN SUCCESSFULLY POISONS HIM

HAMLET POISONS HIM RIGHT BACK

CLAUDIUS DRINKS MORE POISON ON PURPOSE

EVERYONE IS NOW DEAD

???????

HOW IS THIS ALL HAMLET'S FAULT

"If hamlet had done the murder at the start he wouldn't have cost several other random people their lives including himself, hes so terrible and indecisive" LISTEN

First of all. I wonder if maybe the guy who actually did the murder and stole the crown and then directly caused death to most of those other dead people - I wonder if he might be partly responsible? For a few of those people dying. I wonder if King Claudius of Denmark might share some of the blame for some of those people that got dead directly and accidentally by his hand. (Now thicker than itself with brother's, wife's, son's, son's girlfriend's brother's, and arguably son's girlfriend's father's blood! Starting to doubt there IS rain enough in the sweet heavens to wash it white as snow actually. That's a lot of blood)

Also Hamlet is 17? Why was it HIS responsibility to deal with Claudius?? Oh yeah and

HE DIDNT WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE?????

WOULD YOU???????

[ninawolv3rina]

John Teller King of Haunting the Narrative

[moonlarked]

This is an important question

[evilkitten3]

y'know i was gonna make a crack about teens potentially also having camp or school plays that they might be in but then i remembered that yeah actually my mental health was in fact going downhill at the time

The amount of hamlet your teenager can recite is in direct correlation to their deteriorating mental health. To be or not to be is a warning sign but if they're doing rogue and peasant slave too it's time seek help

[goodluckdetective]

I’ve started playing dnd again and the campaign I’m in has the pitch that we all must be characters from written works. The plot is we got thrown out of our own stories and must find our way back.

I am Hamlet, a warlock who made a pact with his Dad’s ghost (it’s absolutely his Dad’s ghost, he wasn’t tricked at all, ignore the fiend patron type) to get revenge on his Uncle. But this post isn’t about him.

Because our cleric, the one entrusted with keeping the party full of heals, the only person with healing magic, is House MD.

“Wait Iz!” You cry. “House MD is a television show, not written fiction.” You’d be correct. Which is why our cleric House is not from the television show.

He’s from a fan fiction.

It’s as funny as it sounds.

[lavideenrose]

Hamlet: “Speak; I am bound to hear.” Ghost: “So art though to revenge, when thou shalt hear.” Hamlet: “What?”

(Hamlet Act 1, Scene 5)

[syn4k]

im going to be real rn i completely understand where hamlet is coming from because if my dad died and then my mom married his brother a MONTH AFTER HIS FUNERAL and THEN everyone told me to just get over it already because everybody dies and THEN i talked to my dad's ghost and tried to get some semblance of closure after his death and he told me "cut the bullshit im burning my sins off in hell rn but its not a big deal listen up your uncle murdered me you gotta get revenge for me" i would also do an acrobatic fucking pirouette backwards off the handle

[distracting-shiny]

YEAH

I couldn’t sleep until I drew this

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #61 part 1

Danny didn’t like thinking about his old life. He was born to a family of assassins and as soon as he was out he never looked back. He had to fake his death and he changed his name, as far as anyone knew Damian Al Ghul had died on a mission to America. He was determined to keep this secret to the grave. Of course he knew who his dad was, Bruce Wayne was a prominent figure and he knew if we went there his secret would get out and he never wanted to be forced to be an assassin again. Once was enough. 

Danny knew he had a soft heart, his adoptive parents, the Fentons and Jazz had told him so. Jazz knew he didn’t have the greatest childhood or past but she never pried, she understood his business was his and wouldn’t let her own curiosity get the better of her. The only issue their family had was their parents obsession with ghosts. Damian never believed in ghosts, the entire thing sounded like a hoax. He probably never would have believed in them but then life happened. 

Danny believed, but it was kind of hard not too after everything that happened. When he had turned 14, his parents finished their biggest project yet. A portal to the ghost zone, of course it doesn’t work at first and his parents were very disappointed. Danny felt conflicted about the whole thing. On one hand he wanted his parents to succeed and he wanted them to be happy, on the other the portal was the reason he ate alone with his sister at night. He wanted a normal family life, something he was never allowed back at the league. 

He did something so stupid that night.

After his parents along with his sister were asleep, he crept down to the basement and stood in front of the empty hole in the wall. He looked around the outside of it first but nothing seemed to be out of place. Then he stepped into it and before he got too far into it something happened. He knew there were a lot of cords on the floor and thought he had avoided them all, but as he realized he was quickly being acquainted with the floor, he out of instinct held his hand out to catch himself on the wall. Right onto the ON button.

He didn’t remember much but pain after that.

A lot happened in the year after the portal was turned on but Danny thought he was taking things well. His sister found out about everything sooner than he liked but having someone to help him was something he didn’t realize he really needed until then. The ghost attacks were frequent and Danny was having trouble finding the time for school, friends, and fighting ghosts that the assistance helped a lot. 

Danny sat at as desk in Mr. Lancers class, who was going on about the play Hamlet. Danny was only half paying attention, he was preoccupied thinking about the latest conversation he had with Clockwork. Danny was recently crowned prince after his victory over Pariah Dark. He didn’t want the crown, ancients knew what Grandfather would do if he ever found out, but he had no other option but to accept. The conversation left him rather drained and it felt like every word his teacher spoke bled together. 

He eventually made his way to lunch and before he could make it to his destination a blue mist wafted out of his mouth. Sighing he ran out of the room to find a place to transform. Once he was Phantom he wasted no time finding the ghost. Of course it was Boxie. 

Before he had time to even fight though a portal opened up right besides Danny and he was kicked in by the Box Ghost. The world seemed to swirl around him until he landed harshly onto some pavement. The pavement was a roof and he appeared to be in a city. 

Not just any city he soon realized as he looked over to a bank that had the words ‘Gotham Bank’ brightly plastered on the front.

Shit… Danny wanted to avoid something like this, unfortunately the portal was already gone. 

After taking a moment to think about his predicament he decided the best course of action was to call Jazz.

He took a look around the rooftop he was on and when he didn’t see anyone he transformed back. 

Pulling out his cell from his pocket he pulled up his sister's contact on it and hit the call button. 

His sister took a bit longer than usual to answer but the hesitation in her voice caused him to pause, “H-hello?”

“Jazz, it’s Danny, we’ve got a code green,”  he knew setting up code colors with his sister would come in handy. Red meant he was gravely injured, yellow meant the ghost got away and he was in pursuit, blue meant he caught the ghost, and green meant he fell through a portal or something similar. 

There was silence on the other line for a moment and Danny was almost going to say something else but she spoke, “How do you know my name?”

Master Post:

Next:

[hamletthesanedane]

I had to stand there and listen to all that after pissing my stockings. Took all damn night.

King Hamlet: Brief let me be

Me: come on man

[theofficialpresidentofmars]

my Roman Empire is how in Hamlet, we are presented with four characters who were each at one point the person/people Hamlet held most dear, and one of them watches as Hamlet's actions lead the other three to suffer, lose their minds, and/or die.

Horatio is Hamlet's closest friend over the course of the play, the one he comes to again and again, refers to as being in his 'heart of hearts', and who keeps him stable and alive for at least the most part. We follow these two the most explicitly throughout the text.

Ophelia is Hamlet's lover, and their relationship can be read many ways, ranging from never-really-loved-the-other to they-did-it-numerous-times-and-in-fact-she-was-pregnant-(possibly)-(also)-(aborted) but for the sake of this post I'm going to go the middle ground and say they had a wholesome and happy relationship before Hamlet's dad died and he got all sad. Doubt the stars are fire, but never doubt I love.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Hamlet's childhood friends, and Gertrude remembers them as being so loved by him that 'two men there are not living to whom he more adheres'. It's clear that these three were very close during some stage of his life, likely his childhood and potentially teens. The point is, they meant the most to him at some point in his life.

But again, by the time the acts of Hamlet come to pass, Hamlet has chosen Horatio to be his sole compatriot. Whether or not this is prior to his actual arrival in Elsinore is largely irrelevant- Hamlet makes sure he spends a lot of the first half of the play flustered in the face of a prince who won't stop finding nice things to say about him. Hamlet butters him up with honeyed words, and tells him the truth about everything, or what he thinks, anyway.

Horatio is touched but one specific line does stick out to him a bit- when Hamlet assured him it was not an attempt at flattery, and went on to clarify that he feels free to love Horatio as Horatio doesn't want anything from him, and doesn't have anything to hide. If what the ghost said about Claudius were true, it makes sense for Hamlet to be paranoid and hold others at a distance, but Horatio can't help but think about the underlying implication that if Hamlet had any reason to be suspicious of Horatio, he'd be just as cold to him as everyone else. Which, again, makes sense, but something about it rubs him a strange way.

Horatio tries to relate his experiences with the others he knows were close to Hamlet. He doesn't know much about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but Hamlet has mentioned suspicion of them, but despite that, seems to have been cordial enough. As for Ophelia... She seems to have seen the worst of his feigned madness, so he doesn't really know about her. He also heard something about an argument, but he doesn't know to what extent.

After the play, and an odd interaction with R&G, Hamlet heads upstairs to speak to his mother and Horatio thinks about it some more.

He words the question properly to himself: would Hamlet still love me if I were in their position? And he doubts for a moment, but then he remembers what Hamlet told him, the look in his eyes as he proclaimed his sincerity, and even the rare laughter he'd indulged in after the play, in only his presence, and Hamlet has convinced him.

Up until he hears the news of Polonius's murder. And until he hears the recount of Claudius, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern's intervention with the seemingly mad prince, and he begins to doubt him.

And when he's left to take care of Ophelia, driven mad by the death of her father and the wrath of her lover, and in her delirium she tells him things, tells him everything, and there's a strange sense of familiarity in her words. She shows him her letters, throwing them at him and laughing, tears running from her eyes, and Horatio recognises the poetic style, the sweet wording that always seems to know how to strike your heart closest, and he realises that she had once been where he had, received Hamlet's love in the same way. And it's strange, in a way he's not sure what to do with.

His fear is alleviated slightly when Hamlet sends him a letter, and he seems back to his usual sense of self, the one Horatio knows. Horatio is glad for the normalcy, and it does a part to clear his worry that he had been deceived in any nature, after his time with Ophelia.

Even further when he finally returns to Denmark, and while the two talk, they stumble upon Ophelia's funeral, and Hamlet takes no time to jump into her grave and proclaim his grief loudly. Horatio feels a bit sick at feeling any sort of relief at this, but the proof that Hamlet may have truly loved her and hadn't intended for this to happen does something to quell the fear again.

That is, until Hamlet recounts his journey.

And with a strange sort of expression that looks sort of like... pride, recounts how he sent Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to their deaths.

Horatio is a little shocked by this, as he can't recall the two having done anything particularly wrong, and this was clearly not accidental. Hamlet brushes him off by saying the two knew what they were getting into, showing strangely little remorse.

Horatio thinks, about how they were his childhood friends, and then again about Ophelia, and then again about his earlier question.

would Hamlet still love me if I were in their position?

And he realises, in a way that makes him nauseous, that the answer is no. And not only that, but for all Hamlet's laughter and flattering words, it wouldn't have saved him.

But still, he doesn't leave his side. Hamlet loves him now, and he's the lucky one. Nothing can be done anymore, and he feels they draw close to the end.

And he does still love him. And Hamlet loves him back.

Horatio reaches for the poisoned cup as Hamlet dies. It feels right that it should end this way, and he doesn't really want to go on.

But Hamlet wrestles the cup out of his hand with an intensity that catches him off guard, begging him to stay alive, to tell his story

and so he does, cradling the prince as he slips into a deeper dream.

Sometime after, Horatio will again think about it all. The four of them. Three dead by his hand, one alive by it.

He wonders.

Did Hamlet ever think about it too? About how his actions hurt the ones closest to him, and in his final moments, chose to break the pattern and save the only life he could?

Or did Hamlet only save him because he still loved him? Not out of guilt, or reflection on his previous actions necessarily, but because Horatio still hadn't done him wrong?

[socialshakespeare]

Shakes-Tourney, Round 2

(summaries from shakespeare.org.uk; further summaries and propaganda encouraged)

Hamlet: Hamlet sees his dead dad's ghost, pretends to go crazy with revenge, actually goes crazy with revenge (debatable), and everyone dies.

Much Ado About Nothing: Benedick and Beatrice don't love each other but then they do. Claudio and Hero love each other but then they don't but then they do again. Everyone gets married.