#the funny thing is I never anticipated him or the band to...be like that. all I ever knew was 'In a Big Country' and I didn't think

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I apologize that this will probably be my at least third or fourth time posting this song, but I realized something while listening to this song just now:

"It went so well for you With a place right where you wanted And the ones to fill it, too But some blows break the spell That it hits you every day Until you need to hit as well

It’s just a shadow of the man you should be Like a garden in the forest that the world will never see You have no thought of answers only questions to be filled And it feels like hell"

By putting this verse before this chorus, he's obviously relating everything in the first verse to the main subject in the chorus...in this case, speaking to men and masculinity as the main subject. And what I, strangely, just now realized he's saying with the chorus acting as a reply to the first verse, is that it doesn't have to be that way - "It's just a shadow of the man you should be" means, particularly regarding the cynicism of the latter half of the first verse, that such daily violence (some justifiable, he suggests with "But some blows break the spell/That it hits you every day/Until you need to hit as well") should not be equated with masculinity, and equating the two should NOT be the norm.

He seriously, so seriously, said 'Fuck your toxic masculinity, WE SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS.' 😭💗 Of course, with the line "You have no thought of answers only questions to be filled/And it feels like hell," he's obviously also saying 'I have no idea how to fix this, though, but hey, AT LEAST I'M ACKNOWLEDGING IT.' True that, man.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Jamil Viper: A Web, Tangled

Aaand here we go with the Relaxing in Room line of birthday cards :v d ehebkwjw It’s so funny that they chuck pillows to attack??? (By the way, congrats to this Jamil card overloading and crashing the JP server 😂)

For this series of birthday ficlets, I’ll focus on writing each birthday boy preparing to walk to school with the reader (since the duo partner barely appears in the vignettes). Can be read platonically or romantically, whatever you prefer~

Rise and Shine!

You lingered by the doorway, your eyes glued on Jamil.

He was preoccupied with glimpsing himself in a mirror set on a table. Before him were various accessories from a jeweled box. (Judging from the gaudiness of the massive rubies on it, it must have been a gift from Kalim.)

Loose tresses the color of dark chocolate tumbled down his back. When Jamil ran a brush through them, the sun caught and his hair tempered, turning lustrous.

You’d seen him massage his scalp with oil-slicked hands before—and again, he diid it, followed by some sort of a cream. The routine left his head moisturized smelling faintly of jasmine. Jamil never compromised when it came to hair care.

You often had to remind yourself that he was not a princess, entrancing as he was. The sway of his hair, the snap of his steps. Each movement, close to a part in a mysterious dance.

Jamil produced his magical pen. The magestone laid in it was as clear as a cloudless day, and the color of blood that had been left out for a little too long.

Now came the spectacle, the very highlight of your entire morning.

Jamil raised the pen as if he was a conductor waving his baton. A hush fell over an imaginary audience, a collective of breaths held in anticipation. This is it, this is it.

He flicked his wrist, and the magic flowed.

A trail of scarlet light emanated whenever Jamil drew his wand. The accessories laid out on his desk floated up, compelled, in a neat line. A band with a feather dangling from it, narrow golden bangles, flat beads that clinked like coins.

His dark locks lifted, dividing themselves into even sections, then into even smaller ones. They carefully twisted over and under each other, weaving into tight braids. Accessories slid on, effortlessly fitting themselves at his direction.

His intricate hairstyle assembled quickly, as if arranging the pieces of a familiar puzzle.

The red sparkles faded into a fine shimmer and then into nothing at all. As the last traces of magic settled, you bursted into applause.

“Bravo, bravo! Great show as always,” you said appreciatively.

“… That wasn’t a performance,” Jamil corrected as he set his magical pen down.

“It might as well be! It takes some serious skill to pull that off every morning.” You gestured to him. “And so fast!“

“Anyone could accomplish it with enough time and practice.” His words choice was humble, but there was a hint of a smirk in his tone.

A rare moment of triumph for him.

“Not just anyone. I think you’ve got a natural talent for this kind of thing,” you grinned broadly, “like a spider!”

Jamil’s neutral expression splintered, leaving jagged edges exposed. His left eyes twitched, pupils pinpricks.

“Excuse me? In what way do I remind you of a vile bug?”

“Hey, don’t knock spiders! You guys have similar skills. The braids, the webs. You make’m well, all nice and strong. No strands out of place.”

“That doesn’t reassure me,” he groused, a hand on his hip. “I’d prefer if you didn’t compare me to them. It feels wrong.”

Jamil shivered. Not from the cold, but with repulsion.

You gave a laugh—soft against the rising morning sun. “Really? But you’re so alike in other ways too.”

His eyes narrowed into suspicious slivers. Mildly offended, perhaps.

“Elaborate,” he commanded.

“They’re hard working and important but under-appreciated,” you pointed out. “Without spiders, there would actually be a lot more bugs around. We should be more grateful to have spiders’ webs.”

There was a pause, deliberate. Then a gentle prompt.

“… Remind you of anyone?”

Jamil scoffed. It was as loud as a thunderclap in his suddenly cavernous bedroom.

“Maybe.”

Two syllables, clipped. An acknowledgment.

“Jamil-senpai…?”

He hurriedly looked away, staring at the wall for likely longer than what was deemed appropriate. Any more, whether in length or in intensity, and he might have burned a hole in it. His face, hotter than the Scalding Sands.

Your brows shot up. “… Ah. Could it be that you’re feeling embarrassed?”

“What? No, don’t be ridiculous. Something like this couldn’t possibly ruffle me.”

You craned your body, attempting to meet his gaze. But he wrenched away, denying that to you. “Then why aren’t you looking at me when you say that?”

“I need to get ready for class,” he replied dismissively. “So close the door and wait outside while I change out of my pajamas.”

“Now you’re just changing the subject!”

“Well, we’ll both be running late if we continue to dawdle,” Jamil warned—a tactful evasive maneuver.

His hands found their way onto your arms, steering you into the hallway. You turned back, mouth opening to protest, but Jamil had already sealed himself off.

Banging and calling out to him was no good. Kicking resulted in you gripping onto your poor foot and whimpering. You were left in a sorry state, back to the door as you rested on the floor.

On the other side, Jamil was surely having a little laugh. Cheeks still burning from the praise showered upon him, basking in the afterglow of it.

You sighed.

A spider makes its web to deceive flies into getting stuck in it. Jamil-senpai can be just as tricky.

[kazutora-kurokawa]

Rockstar!Baji x Popstar!Reader

♡ SFW, fem reader, fluff, jealousy (on the fans' end), arson because it's Baji ♡

note: this was an anon request that I no longer have (oops I did it again) but I remembered it 🙃 also expect two more sets of Baji headcanons before the week is over 🙌🏽

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

🎸 Baji and his band is already super famous and you had made a pretty big name for yourself in the pop industry

🎤 When you and Baji started dating your fans flipped out, you two were like the stereotypical bad boy and girl next door

🎸 No one expected your relationship to last, they were all anticipating for you to come out with a break up song any day now

🎤 That day never came obviously because you and Baji are perfect together, an absolute power couple in the music industry

🎸 I can already hear the song collabs in my head

🎤 You've sung backup vocals in a few of his songs and he's even helped you with writing

🎸 You two are each other's inspiration and biggest supporter

🎤 Meet and greets are so chaotic because you two plan them together, his female fans are extremely jealous of you and his male fans are jealous of him because he bagged himself a bad bitch

🎸 Baji is so much calmer around you, it's not even funny (he's still a crazy vampire arsonist tho, that'll never change)

🎤 He likes doing extravagant (and dangerous) things for you, one night he built a papermache heart, doused it in gasoline, lit it on fire, and held it up outside your window like a lunatic (Chifuyu and Tora helped him do it too)

🎸 You two stay out of the public with most of your relationship, but you do post a lot of random selfies on your social medias (a lot of random stray cats too because it's Baji and what else would you expect)

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe

[thesecretcornerintheroom]

1 Month

Part 2

Pairing: Oj Haywood x Black female reader

Warnings: Bondage, Angst, Yearning 😂 (so y'all, this is part 2, and it took me a while to figure it out I hope y'all enjoy 💕)

Word count: 22752

HA SO THE LUCKY SPECIAL WORKED said Emerald. I knew some weird shit was going on. He stopped grunting all the time and being grumpy, she said, laughing. “Can you shut the hell up?”I bit at Emerald. “You said you needed my help”. My tone was embarrassed partially by how loud she was and second by her statement. I haven’t seen Emerald in a month; a lot has happened, like a weird alien lingering around their farm. “That’s why you haven’t been coming around,” said Emerald as she leaned in. Her lashes touched her eyebrows with anticipation as her smile widened. Her gaze held my eyes with amusement and curiosity“damn, it was that bad. Should have fucked with me,” causing me to let out the loudest laugh. We’re in a dinner, drinking our milkshakes and sharing a fry, reviewing her research about this alien and the ranch. “What was so funny?” I heard his voice, and everything stopped, the laugh spilling out my body, the old music that blared through the dinner. I knew that voice, that deep country voice. I turned to see OJ; he was looking at Emerald and me. His body was more buffer, and his skin was glowing from sun exposure. He wore an old faded t-shirt, and his dark blue jeans faded from working. His gaze went from Emerald and fell on me. For once, I couldn’t read them well. It’s not like I ever could. OJ didn’t have a lot of facial expressions. I had to look back at Emerald, hoping she would save me. “I was telling her about that weirdo we met from the camera store,” said Emerlaed in a charismatic tone, “Angel,” said Oj. “yep,” we both said in unison. “Mhm,” he sat beside Emerald. “Alright, back to business. What the fuck is this over our ranch, and why is it here,” said Emerald noticing a shift in the room.

“Bye em be. Safe,” I said as she exited the car to walk into her new women of the week house. Emerald will still attend her bootie call even when supernatural things run around. Yeah, she said, walking away. “I’ll get you tomorrow, I assume,” said OJ passive-aggressively. She stopped and turned around, you assumed correctly, causing me to giggle as OJ drove off. I could feel the tension setting in. Who knew a 5’4 girl who Yaps with a loud voice was keeping the tension at bay? “So, how lucky will I be to see him in commercials?” I said, trying to make small talk. I can feel OJ‘s body tense, his eyes on the road. “He is supposed to be in a beer commercial” in about two months. “OK, well, that’s good. That’s exciting. I can’t think of the last time Lucky was in” before I could finish my sentence. He cut me off; “where have you been?” His eyes didn’t leave the road, causing my body to heat up. “I texted you and called you,” but there was no response. The only person you respond to is my sister for this:” I can tell you wanted to say more, but Oj never Said more. He only talked when he felt like talking. Oj saying this much was shocking to me. “I got wrapped up with my job, and between working and stuff, it has just become a lot.” I said my words, fumbling, trying to come up with any excuse for not calling or texting him back. Lucky listened to the excuse and turned the radio up. “there is something on your mind, the way you look at me.” I don't know if it was the singer's voice filled with concern and yearning or the old band playing behind the singer's voice. Maybe it was the lyrics or how Oj's jaw flexed as he tried not to talk. Still, I felt the tension rise in the car, and my body turned to jelly. The silence and this song were going to be the death of me.

Once we arrived at my house, everything looked the same: my porch light was flickering cause it needed to be fixed. The radio was turned off, and now we were in silence before I could say anything.” how long has your light been out?”

“ since last week, but I don’t go out often, so it hasn’t bothered me. I responded. “My tool kit is in the back, and I’ll fix it”He said. As we got out of the car and my feet hit the ground, I was grateful to feel the earth. My legs were still tingling, and the air was thick as OJ grabbed his toolbox, and I went inside. I decided talking wasn’t the best option. “Okay, okay, y/n, while he fixes the light, get yourself together I scrutinized myself as I went into the fridge. I noticed the lemon bars I made for a hot summer night. I grabbed some without thinking, one for me, one for him. When I walked back to the front, my light fixture was now fixed, and Oj was heading to his car. “OJ!” you said with a worried tone. He turned around, putting his toolbox in his trunk. You looked at him, and your eyes said, please stay hoping he would understand. You sat on your porch steps with your plate in your hand, holding the sweets you made.

“You want a treat?” You said, voice thin, scarred of what he’d say or want to say. Oj stopped and looked at me for a long time, his face unreadable. He walked up to me slowly and sat down. His body was big in stature as he sat at the top of the steps, His legs stretched to the bottom steps, and the air felt warm and heavy with him near me. He grabbed the sweet off my plate and took a bite. I looked at him, wondering what he’d say about my newest lemon dessert. “9/10,” He said. “Gasps,” I said, “that’s a 10/10, And you know it?” I said, grinning, voice heavy. He looked at me, smirked, and took another bite. I saw the custard form on his lip, quickly replaced with a swipe from his tongue. Oh, that tongue, his eyes glistened “to tangy.” He said maybe more powder on top. I shook my head, mentally nodding, “Oj has no vices but one, and that’s super sweet pastries,” I giggled. Leaning away, he looked at me. One pastry was now gone.

“Oj, I’m sorry, but I should’ve been honest. I haven’t called or responded to you because I was scared My mom and dad are gone my siblings live across the country. All I have is you and Em; I don’t know.” My heart beat in my chest, and my body was overwhelmed with the truth. Oj was looking at me. “Mhmm,” he said as he looked at me. I could feel the tension. It felt like a balloon was going to pop. I stood up, grabbing the plate. “Do you wanna come inside,” I said, standing up and looking down, trying to grasp at my sanity. Oj looked up at me as he rose. I felt the dynamic shift; he was towering over me. He speaks with eyes, that’s for sure. He looked at me and then at the door. He shook his head yes.

Once inside, I went straight to the kitchen and dumped the pastry in the trashcan. “I don’t have any friends said Oj. All I have is the ranch Em and you and now, Angel said. Oj crept over to me slowly, each footstep holding weight. He looked down at me and placed his hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes. Oh, how I missed his warmth. His hands were rough; his hands felt like work. His hand went to the side of my neck, his thumb slowly rubbing my neck, titling my chin up. He lifted me and placed me on the dining table, my mouth open from shock. He kissed me quickly. The kiss was feverish and fast. His lips tasted of vanilla and zest. He was kissing me like he was making up for lost time, grabbing my legs, and pulling me closer to him. “But I'd rather have you like this than a friend he grunted out” as his lips left my mouth and worked his way down my neck, leaving kisses above my breast.

In this summer heat, all you had on was a tank top and shorts, his hand roaming my body and still on my neck. He pulled me in closer. “I don’t think I can get any closer.” he removed my tank top. “Uh-huh,” he said as he placed his lips around my nipple, causing me to arch my back. My fingers found the nape of his neck, diving into his kinky curls. “Oj, please, I purred,” his tongue circled my nipple, his tongue sending shocks through my body. My legs wrapped around his waist, subnconsily pushing my body backward from the dealing of pleasure. The plates and table decor fell over with a clatter. Clank as so of my cups hit the floor. His hands gripped under my thighs and lifted me, causing me to yelp. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, giggling as he walked me to my room.

He placed me on the bed. “hold still, " he said with a smirk. As I lay on the bed, my body felt vulnerable. I could feel his fingertips dancing on me, going up and down. I felt a thumb swipe over my spot with my jeans on, causing me to gasp. His hands slowly trailed to the button of my shorts. As the button popped, I could feel He pulled down my shorts off my leg.his hands slowly rose to my waist, dragging his hands back up my body, leaving me in my panties that were red. “A month. I’ve thought about you for a month,” he said, removing his shirt. “I thought about that night you slept over.” his tone was calm. His toned body was showing, and his skin glistening in the dimly lit room. His muscles flexed as he removed his belt, jeans, and underwear. Once free, he grabbed my hands, placing them above my head. He stopped and looked at me in my face. “ for a month, I missed you, your laugh, your warmth,” his tone dripping with sincerity. His face observed every piece of me, soaking me In like this. I got so lost in his eyes I almost didn’t feel the leather wrap around my wrist. “ Oj,” I said, breaking eye contact and looking at my wrist. His belt was now tied around my wrist, his buckle at the front on full display, shining in the light, and I was shocked looking at him. Oj looked at my wrist. “just say no,” he said. He looked at me, and I knew he meant it.” I’m okay,” I whispered.

“A month,31 days, you stayed on my mind. I kept thinking about what I would do and how I would kiss you, he said, rubbing the side of my thigh slowly. So I’m going to show you what’s been in my head for 31 days,” he said, kissing me earnestly. His hands find my clothes clit and start playing with it, causing me to have gaps in his mouth. He grunts in my mouth as he speeds up with his finger over my clit, causing me to squirm. The feeling felt so Good but so far away. “please, please,” I said as I thought about the feeling between my legs. The feeling growing inside of me, but my panties were stopping the feeling. “Uh, uh, I know you got it,” he said, his southern drawl in my ear as his finger moved over my clothed clit harder.I felt my wetness start to drip past my panties.

“common be good for me.” He said. The wetness between my legs grew. My panties were becoming wet, and my voice became ragged.” Please, please, uhh,” I said, my core tightening, the feeling going through my body. “Your thighs are shaking so much,” he said, “cum for me.” The wetness pooled in my panties, causing me to come undone. My sight was hazy, my breath shallow, and I put my tied wrist around his neck.I looked him in his eyes, and I knew at that moment I couldn’t run anymore.

From him or my feelings in that moment, my hands tied draped over the back of his neck, I pulled him down to me, his full lips feeling out mine, causing me to sigh in contempt as I kissed him. I wrapped my legs around his hips, my clothed member now grinding against him. His caused him to grunt, stopping my hips with his hands. He pulled down my panties and threw them across the room. His finger trails up my calf and my inner leg. As it reached my core, I felt my eyes close with anticipation. His finger swipes between my folds before they enter his two fingers, entering me. Letting out a gasp from the heavy breathing in the room and the wet sounds of him fingering me, his two fingers going in and out of me at a slow, poisonous rhythm. OJ was breathing hard as he looked down, eyes locked on my pussy. “You seem ready for me,” he said as he looked up at me. I opened my eyes and shook my head. Oj positioned himself in between my legs and pushed in with a demanding force, causing me to moan in satisfaction. His lips met my neck as he nibbled and kissed, teasing his hips, moving slowly, still moving with force, his hips snapping, meeting the rhythm of my hips. He bites my neck, causing me to yelp. “I missed you he said” “I missed you too” the words flowing out of me, my body melting like butter. “A month,” he said as he snapped his hips, causing me to moan, words falling from my mouth, “I’m sorry, ugh, please.” as you arched your back, you felt him hit the spot inside of you that will have you undone soon, I won’t do it again” you said feeling the wetness pool in between your legs as he enters you his rhythm now becoming more frantic his hips bucking into yours with more meaning then you can describe. You could feel the wind leave your body; your eyes closed, your hands still clasped wrapped around his neck as your breast bounced to the rhythm Oj was setting. You felt your thighs begin to shake as he started to hit that spot again. Your eyes began to water, your moans fell out of your mouth, and your stomach began to tighten. Oj started to moan, and his thrust became more sporadic. As Oj lowers himself, you feel him on your body more. Your chest now touches both of your warm skin, hot and dripping with lust. You felt Oj grab your leg and raise it higher. He soon was bucking his hips desperately. Your eyes began to roll as the moans kept falling from your mouth as your body tried to rise off the bed. “no more running,” he said with a grunt as he captured his lips with yours. Your body spasmed as you released, feeling the sheets damping beneath you. “Oh fuck” said Oj as he pulled out quickly and came on your pelvis area. As both of your breathing slowed down. His body is towering over yours, now removing the belt buckle from your sore red wrists. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” OJ said.

[bifuriouswaterbender]

He's All That

Rated T - 4,768 words - 1/? chapters published - No Archive Warnings Apply - Written by me, image by @maikaartwork

It started when Nancy broke up with him. In hindsight, Steve maybe should have known better than to listen to Tommy at a time like this.

“Come on, man, you’re better off this way,” Tommy insisted as he leaned against Steve's locker. “I mean Wheeler’s cute and all, but she almost destroyed your popularity. Where’s the old king of the keg stand? Where’s Mr. Funny Guy who has a joke at every teacher’s expense? I’ve missed you, dude. You straightened up too much for her. It’s time to let loose, prove you’re still you.”

“Shut up.” Steve rolled his eyes. “I haven’t lost my popularity. I can absolutely still rule these halls.”

“Oh yeah?” The gleam in Tommy’s eyes should have been a warning sign. Instead it was a point of interest. “What if I made you a bet? I can prove you’re slipping.”

“You can’t,” Steve shot back. “I’m not. I’m popular enough to make anyone else popular too. Nancy’s social cred shot up when I started dating her.”

“Is that the angle you want to take?” Tommy asked. “Sure, we can do that. You can make anyone popular? How popular?”

“Top of the food chain,” Steve shot back, running a hand through his hair. He paused to grin at a couple of girls walking past, and they both giggled. He totally still had it. King Steve hadn’t gone anywhere.

“Prom court?”

Steve’s eyes snapped back to Tommy. “With a crown.”

“Perfect!” Tommy spun around, looking around them. “But I pick the target.”

“You don’t have to refer to her like that,” Steve said with a sigh. “She’ll be Carol’s new best friend in a matter of weeks.”

“Not her,” Tommy said, and Steve froze at the giant smile spreading over his face. “Him.”

“Him?” he repeated, whirling around to see who Tommy was looking at. “No way. Not possible. Dealing with a weird personality would be one thing, but scary and inaccessible? No can do. Besides, I thought you’d pick a chick. Dating someone is how I can make them popular. At very least, I figured you’d pick someone like Robin. What the hell am I supposed to do with Eddie Munson?”

“Like I was about to pick your band geek weirdo,” Tommy scoffed. “She’s weird, but she’s hot. That would be too easy. No, I want you to have a challenge. You don’t get to use dating you as the social cred they’re building.” He took a step forward into Steve’s space. “You said you’re up for it. You’re not giving up already, are you?”

Steve huffed, staring at Munson. As though he felt their eyes, Eddie looked up. He took taken aback for a moment, then glared before stomping away.

“I’m not giving up,” Steve said, “but it might be a little more difficult than anticipated.”

“Hey, you have months,” Tommy said with fake optimism. “I’m sure he’ll be the kind your band geek can take home to Mom in no time.”

Later that day, Steve realized he’d need help.

As much as Steve was loath to rely on someone else so quickly into the bet, he did need backup. He needed someone with a less biased opinion of Munson to help him figure out how to even approach the guy. If he went right now, Steve figured he’d get punched or at least laughed at. He needed a way in.

“Why are you asking me about Eddie?” Robin pressed her lips together and surveyed him carefully.

Steve shrugged and tried to look casual. “I don’t know. I guess I’ve never stopped to really consider him before. He seems like an interesting guy.”

“Not really your type of interesting,” Robin pointed out.

Steve rolled his eyes. “What? I’m not allowed to ask questions about people who don’t play sports?”

“Or wear short skirts,” she shot back. “Something you’re trying to tell me here, Harrington?”

“What?” Steve sputtered. He didn’t want to sound offended by the question, not when Robin had trusted him enough to tell him about herself. “I’m not… Even if I was, Eddie wouldn’t be my type.”

“What would your type be? Tommy Boy? I bet he’d say yes if you asked real nicely.”

Steve sighed, resting his hands on his hips. “Look, if this is a ploy to change the subject, it’s not going to work. Seriously, Robin, what’s his deal? I mean obviously he’s been around, but he’s never really been on my radar before. Plus, I figured you’d have a better understanding of him than anyone else I hang out with. I don’t think Tommy’s ever interacted with him outside buying pot for my parties.”

“You make your friends sound like such winning people,” she said dryly, but his argument must have worked from the way Robin sighed and stood up straight. “Fine, you want to know about Eddie? I’ll tell you what I can, but I don’t know how helpful I can actually be. We’re not friends or anything. He’s in band. Plays percussion—and guitar when we have a jazzier piece that needs it. That’s the only reason I know him really, but we have some friends in common. He runs Hellfire, so like, your little dweebs would probably love him.”

At the blank look on Steve’s face, Robin added, “It’s a Dungeons and Dragons club. You know, the game they play?”

“I know they play it,” Steve said, maybe a tad too defensively. “I guess I didn’t realize the school had a club for it.” At least that explained the shirt the dude wore all the time. “What’s with his look? I have never seen anyone wear a leather jacket year round the way he does.”

Robin shrugged. “I think it’s a music thing. Punk or whatever. You done with the twenty questions yet?”

Steve rubbed the back of his head as he said, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good,” she said. “What’d you get on the test for Click? I swear if you got below an 80% with the way we studied…”

It was easy to let Robin pull him to other subjects. He really did enjoy hanging out with her—way more than he liked spending time with Tommy and Carol these days if Steve was completely honest with himself. Besides, she’d given him more than enough to work with hopefully. Dungeons and Dragons seemed like the best way in. He could use the excuse of asking for the sake of the kids next year, get Eddie talking about that, and take things from there. He could steer the conversation once it was started.

And he did have to start. Steve absolutely had his work cut out for him, so the sooner they got started, the more dramatic a transformation Eddie could make.

[Read the rest of Chapter 1 here] Written in part as the free space square for both the @eddiemunsonbingo and @steveharringtonbingo

[louisisalarrie]

Due to the large amount of debating on Twitter around stunts and forcible closeting and who gains what from the partnership, let’s talk about stunts as someone who works in the industry and has a degree in this shit, baby!!!

Okie dokie. Stunts are just about our least favourite thing in this fandom, and we watch the boys get exploited, used, and see that they are thoroughly and visibly upset during pap shots and any public event with said stunt. I will be touching on bbg here, as a warning. But this will look particularly at Harry’s stunts, a bit more than Louis’, because people seem to all be fighting about Harry and TR at the moment, and there have been a lot of nasty things said between solos and larries and yeah… let’s have a chat about this all, so you folks can have a little more context of behind the scenes, and also a more thorough understanding than just “that stunt gf is using him for his fame and is part of the problem by forcibly closeting that artist”. Sooooo yeah, let’s get into it. I’ll break this down by Harry/Louis, and we can have a good look into this together. Feel free to hit me up in my inbox for any questions/comments etc., my loves. A lot of this stuff you might already be aware of, but yeah. Just thought I’d do something a bit more in depth while all this discourse is happening.

Harry - a brief history of stunts/his image, and why TR is his beard right now

So, we are all certainly aware of Harry’s past, with everyone from Caroline Flack, to Taylor Swift, to Kendall Jenner… the list goes on and on. His image was doctored to fit the ideal womaniser - sweet and funny, but flirty and cocky. If he was marketed as a dick, no one would idealise him, obviously. So he was allowed to be himself, as the sweet boy we all know, with the exception of flirting with every woman that breathes, and bedding them immediately, before moving on. He was still desirable like this. He was still seen as somewhat attainable, because he was never tied down. He didn’t do long term, he did one night stands and would keep women around long enough until the next pretty little (famous) thing came along. They wanted him to be seen as a sexual being, as so many young male boy bands are full of “goody two shoes” and are little happy cherubs who sing about what makes you beautiful, not waking up with a hard on.

So, his image flowed with the times. They seeded that baby as a womaniser, so when the band got older, he could be seen with multiple stunts, and be even more attainable than someone with a long term partner (Louis) because he didn’t fall in love. He was sex, and rock n roll, while playing innocent as well. It was a different twist to your usual “bad boy” narrative… the young girls saw him as a beautiful sweet angel, and the older girls thought they had a chance to have sex with him (multiple “receipts” that said Harry asked for numbers from fans and took them backstage after shows also posted on Tumblr/Twitter which the older fans had accounts on). They covered the very wide demographic that one direction had with this image, while keeping him closeted. S*mon always thought he was gonna be the main boy, so why not do whatever they can to give him even more PR? Two birds one stone, right?

Anyway, stunting is, and always has been, a crucial part of PR. The general public, and fans, are always interested to know the love life of celebrities. It causes drama, and gossip, and pays for the families of Paps, journalists, interviewers, etc. ya know? These folks would have a pretty boring job if they couldn’t spread gossip. They get paid more to do so, so it’s just the circle of life in the music industry. Almost all the jobs around an artist are there because of stunts. There’s only so many times a reporter can comment on what Harry is wearing if he’s not seen with someone else.

Anyway, this day and age, stunts have become pretty see through. We can spot one a mile away, anticipate articles, and guess what’s coming next. It’s embarrassing really. But, in the earlier days of stunts, it used to be a mutually beneficial agreement. Celebrity A “dates” and is spotted with Celebrity B, who both have large fandoms and make a lot of money (HS and TS). So, being seen together makes sense. A power couple, if you will. Two of the biggest stars on the planet, joining forces, exposing their already established fandoms to the other person’s music, and both of them gaining more followers, more money, and more clicks in the media. It’s the same with the OW shit show that happened… however, that was marketed as a 2 year long stunt, his longest yet, and was obviously to promo the movie. But, being his longest public relationship as of yet, they kinda dragged him away from the womaniser image a bit. Makes sense, right? He’s getting older, settling down a bit… he’s becoming a professional, not fucking the fans of his boyband backstage, and sleeping with every hot celebrity he sees.

However, because of a lot of these stunts are now being exposed and superficial af, they have tried a different kind of stunt, that, while we’ve seen before in different “womanising” artists, they do this to boost a positive image of the artist in question, and move them away from their… multiple sexual escapades. This is what I like to call the “Girl Next Door” stunt, which is exactly where Harry is at now, and where Louis has been all throughout his stunts.

The Girl Next Door stunt shows the public “oh wow, he’s not superficial!!! He’ll date someone who isn’t super famous and he loves them for them!!! He isn’t using her!! He’s attainable and would date someone like me because I’m not super famous!!!” narrative. Which, for Harry, pulls his image back towards being more “real” and authentic, and, for the fans, causes them to defend him because of this. They don’t see it as an obvious stunt because why the hell would this be mutually beneficial for Harry? Why would he bother to continue agreeing to closet himself with someone who isn’t gonna give him any PR from their own fandom? Who the paps are gonna wonder who she is? Well… it’s because he’s a sweetie pie baby boy cherub angel who doesn’t care about fame and fortune, just treats people with kindness and has fallen in love with someone who wasn’t really in the public eye to begin with. Wow. What an incredible guy.

And while you may say “hang on, TR wasn’t totally unknown, she had a following”, her following was nothing compared to Harry’s before they got together. So, with the above in mind about how this positively boosts Harry’s image, you can see why this is mutually beneficial. It’s not always about the money for both sides.

But… hang on… “why would TR agree to this? She’s actively participating in the closeting of Harry? She’s not a good person!!!!!” Well… if it wasn’t her, it’d be someone else. If every celeb/person boycotted the idea of stunts and refused them due to the fact they didn’t want to closet artists, that would be great. It would be a massive shift in the industry. It would be fantastic. But… that’s just not the way it is right now. And unfortunately I don’t think it ever will be.

Closeting has existed for years in the celeb world, and it’s not just gonna go away like that. Sometimes the artists get to choose who they stunt with, and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes bisexuality is seeded juuuuuust enough to get people talking even more. But in his case right now, that’s why people are relating to TR. that’s why they’re defending her, and that’s why they’re a good stunt for now, because she’s the girl next door. See that image shift, now?

Louis - bbg, long term gfs, and the Girl Next Door

Now that I’ve explained the idea of the Girl Next Door stunt (which I’m sure a lot of you have picked up on already prior to this post), that’s exactly what Louis’ closeting and stunting has been for the past 13 years. Eleanor was an unknown, young pretty girl aspiring to be a model. They had one womaniser in the band, two would just be sleazy, so why not make him somewhat “unattainable” but still show his love and commitment and as he was the oldest of the band, he took relationships seriously? It makes him look grown up, so people can take the band more seriously. They’re not just 5 boys who are fucking everything that moved due to newfound fame. It would keep Louis closeted, keep Harry closeted but in the public eye at all times, and totally remove any possibility of them being in a relationship behind closed doors. Sounds great on paper, right? So… if Louis was the sweet, funny, long term gf boy… then why did he go out and get drunk and fuck some unknown hairdresser in a one night stand and have a baby with her, and it be so public? Let’s have a quick look…

For obvious closeting reasons, someone who is speculated to be gay having a baby is quite a clear cut. They’ve had vaginal penetrative sex, they can’t be gay… right? Bisexuality is often overlooked in the media, but, that’s a story for another time.

So, bbg makes sense. They were seeding Harry’s bisexuality/coming out over mid 2014-2015 buttttt little problem… if Harry was in fact into men, then why couldn’t he be into Louis? Larry Stylinson is no stranger to the press, and to pay off every outlet to include in their article the previous denials of Larry’s relationship in the coming out articles, was more effort than what it’s worth. So, even giving him a male stunt, larry would still be prominent in all press relating to Harry’s sexuality. So, in the plans of Harry’s (not successful) coming out, what do they do with Louis?

Long term gf man Louis became quite the party boy, and slept around with Girl Next Door types. People who weren’t famous. People who weren’t gonna help his career after one direction, nor boost his popularity and exposure. He was almost attainable to fans, as so many fans have met him at clubs before. But Harry needed to be THE one who ended up on top (no pun intended), and THE extra attainable now openly bisexual man. They just had to stop Louis from being a desirable match to pretty princess harry, and kinda pushed him to take over Harry’s womaniser image. So, what better way than to push him into being a grotty undesirable party boy who was getting fucked up and sleeping with random girls? What better way than to make him be extra closeted with a kid whose mum he’d had a one night stand with? It could’ve been any fan… right? Quite the Y/N wattpad story if you ask me…

(Anywho, this isn’t a bbg post so I won’t go into S*mon vs Louis, the big gay war, Belfast etc., I’m just talking plainly about the images to the public eye).

So, bbg sticks and is set for the long term, and so Louis still has the committed image he always did. He’s always been tied down, except… he can’t go from party boy to doting dad in one breath. So a couple of VERY short lived stunts here (including one he did by himself in protest) and there, keeps him attainable. He cares SO much about his little lad, BUT is on the look out for some lady bits at all times. Funnily enough, with women who aren’t going to actively improve his career/popularity. So… Girl Next Door attainability, long term commitment grown up responsibility, and now, stunt free (apart from bbg) for over a year. Party boy louis lives on, though. And that is certainly an interesting deep dive as to why, but again, for another time.

Overall - why the fuck is this all happening?

So, they’ve pushed Harry and Louis as far apart from each other as possible, since 2015. Their images, everything. We know this, we’ve watched it, some of us have been here for it. But why is Harry now Girl Next Door stunting? It’ll be a year of them together in a few months. It’s arguably his first stunt gf who is not popular or influential in any way. Well… his image now is happy go lucky boy who loves everyone and is sweet as pie and while he still has suggestive lyrics and moves on stage, he’s actively been pushed away further from the womaniser image through OW and TR. I believe, since he has shot to fame, they’ve decided to kick him back down and seem more attainable, with a more “realistic and authentic” stunt. It makes him look like a real person again. Obviously, it’s forced closeting and you can plainly see it makes him upset and he’s doing everything he can to move away from it, but… that’s his image for now. They’re moving away from womanising because he’s older and needs to still look attainable and professional and “grown up” (30 yrs old isn’t grown up by any means, but it’s the ageism in the industry and generally around the world that pushes this), and so this is the purpose of TR. now, you can sit here and yell about her being an active part in his closeting, which she is, but if it wasn’t her, it would be someone else. Solo Harries who believe in them being together, would be stanning another chick if she was in TR’s place. It’s a Copy of a Copy of a Copy. Get mad at the teams behind Harry and Louis, not at the girls participating in it. (BBG is somewhat of an exception bc who tf would actively put a baby through that but whatever, the promise of money can sway people like crazy).

In short, Long-Term Tomlinson and Harry Sly-les are still in full force, but in an adjusted way to seem more authentic. Because in this day and age, where everything is fake, authenticity sells.

[carriagelamp]

What are the Christmas holidays for if not for being cosy and snug and reading a book? It has been a very pleasant December for me, and I've really gotten to indulge my love of reading winter themed books in winter

The Bellybuttons

A quebecois bande desinee I’ve heard about and decided to pick up the first book of — I read this one in English. It was pretty amusing! At times quite funny as it does a gag-a-page format pretty well, but also at times deeply frustrating since the series is predominantly about Karine, who is a sweet, somewhat awkward teenaged girl, and the rather nasty popular girls she’s “friends” with. Karine acts as a foil and a general punching bag for most of the book. It does make her standing up for herself at the end of the album deeply satisfying. A worthwhile read if you enjoyed Mean Girls and would like that in a comic format.

Bookshops & Bonedust

A prequel to Legends & Lattes that I’ve been very eagerly anticipating! In this book Viv is just beginning her career as a mercenary but has been laidlow by a injury. Forced to stay behind in a seaside town while her leg heals, she gradually gets drawn into the lives of the various town residents, including a beleaguered ratkin who’s desperately trying to keep her little bookshop afloat. Add in a dash of baked goods and necromantic plots, and it’s a really fun read! If you haven’t read the original yet, I highly recommend both it and this one.

A Christmas Story

I love this movie and only just realized it was originally based off a series of radio stories that were adapted into print. If you are unfamiliar with the Christmas film, it follows the Parker family through a series of mundane misadventures on the build up to Christmas, including Ralphie’s desperate need to get a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle for Christmas.

This book, A Christmas Story, collects a handful of stories from two different anthologies that were used when creating the iconic movie. It’s fun how many lines are word-for-word from the original stories; they’re all hilarious and the language is just fantastic. Hard to put down.

Every Heart a Doorway

A fascinating short story about a boarding school for the “chosen ones” who have returned from whatever magical world drew them in and then spat them back out. It’s a school of children who have learnt to survive in strange worlds built around strange, incomprehensible rules and who must now learn to re-adapt to the mundane world. They are all desperate to get back, to find their own doorways, and struggle with being trapped back in a world that doesn’t understand them. Things only get worse when the murders start.

Hogfather

One of my favourite Discworld novels. On the Discworld, it’s a boar-themed entity known as the Hogfather that travels around the world delivering presents to boys and girls on Hogwatchnight. Except this year something has happened. The Hogfather is nowhere to be found, and someone else has been forced to take his place. With Death now attempting to deliver holiday cheer, and his granddaughter reluctantly drawn into unravelling a plot on the Hogfather’s life, this is easily one of my favourite “Christmas” books to read. And the ending always hits me like a ton of bricks, it makes me really emotionally. Highly recommend the read, even if you’ve never touched a Discworld book before. As long as you like high fantasy and can suspend disbelief, it’s easy to jump into.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

So, this book absolutely destroyed me. Would recommend. I love this author, and this novel did not disappoint. It’s about a hand-crafted, specially commissioned, porcelain rabbit doll named Edward Tulane. Edward Tulane, with his exquisite wardrobe and delicate features, is beautiful and precious and he knows it. He doesn’t care anything for the little girl who loves him and resents her family who patronizes him. Everything changes for Edward Tulane though when, during a sea voyage, he is thrown overboard and finds himself separated from his girl and lost to the black silence of the ocean floor…

Moominland Midwinter

Magical and chilling, this book really understands and articulates the other side of the winter season. The longest nights of the year, the darkness, the cold, the way the entire world sleeps and changes and becomes strange.

Moomins always hibernate through the winter, but this year little Moomintroll wakes up early. He finds himself completely alone in the middle of winter while his family sleeps around him. He’s forced to venture forth and learn about this dark, strange season, to find the friends he can and come to terms with the harsh strangeness of winter while waiting for the sun to return.

A Mouse Called Miika

A very middling book. There is a mouse who lives in the North Pole. He likes cheese. He has a very unpleasant friend. He gets magical powers of some sort or another. He tries to steal a very important cheese. I genuinely don’t remember the plot well enough to go in any more detail. If you’re desperate to read something Christmassy, it’s not bad, but I wouldn’t bother seeking it out.

Beezus and Ramona // Ramona and her Mother

You know, I’ve never in my life read a Ramona book. I’ve read and enjoyed other Beverly Cleary books, but never the Ramona series. I ended up reading Ramona and her Mother first and afterwards I picked up Beezus and Ramona just to see how the series began. I can… see why it’s popular, especially for the time. It’s a fun, silly, slice-of-life series about the wacky hijinks of Ramona Quimby, a rambunctious kindergartener. I can really, genuinely say though that this is not a series made for me. Ramona and her Mother I found agonizingly dull, with only a few interesting moments interspersed. Beezus and Ramona was a bit more interesting, but they made Ramona so incredibly annoying that I could hardly get through it. Maybe part of the blame lies in me listening to an audiobook for that one and the narrator using the single most grating voice I have eve heard in my life, but my god it drove me nuts. 

System Collapse

New Murderbot book! New Murderbot book!! Woohoo! If you haven’t read the Murderbot series, go start on All Systems Red and continue from there, you won’t regret it! The series follows a synthetic being known as a Security Unit — an artificial construct that isn’t meant to be self-aware or self-governing, except that they are. When Murderbot succeeds in hacking its governor module and gaining full control of itself, it briefly considers going on a murderous rampage… until it realizes it’s much more enjoyable to just download a lot of soap operas into its brain and get on with things. In this new book, Murderbot continues on a mission with ART’s crew and those from Preservation. Things are heating up as Barish-Estranza attempts to take control of the planet, new SecUnits have been deployed, and there may or may not be a rampant alien plague. Worse yet, something is wrong with Murderbot, related to [REDACTED]. If it can’t figure out how to fix what’s wrong soon, its humans may soon be in peril.

Heaven Official's Blessing v5

I continue to read Heaven Official’s Blessing! I continue to love it! The desperate scramble towards Mount Tonglu has been a blast. I’m getting Very Concerned about what may or may not be the return of the White Calamity though… whatever is going on and whatever it is, everything seems like it’s heating up to some serious bad news in the next book.

Twelve Doctors of Christmas

An alright anthology of Christmas-themed Doctor Who stories. If you want something Christmassy and you want Doctor Who, this delivers. It’s festive, light, and has a few pretty good stories in it. However I wouldn’t say it was my favourite Doctor Who short story anthology by a long shot. Time Lord Fairy Tales or 13 Doctors 13 Stories are both more impressive story collections imho

[georgieluz]

Hey Jules! 2, 9, 14, 19, 24, and 28 for the HBO War positivity ask game please ☺️

hi lou!! ofc ofc!! :)

2 - who are some your fav creators/mutuals?

i love all of my mutuals and every creator in the fandom bc everyone is just amazing!! but to list just a few @footprintsinthesxnd, yourself!! (@luckynumber4), @ep6bastogne @lamialamia @thewayisset @lewis-winters @jenkil @mads-weasley @hellofanidea @liptonwashere @malarkgirlypop @panzershrike-pretz @sweetxvanixlla @whollyjoly @samwinchesterslostshoe @next-autopsy @iceman-kazansky @heystovepipeboys @theflyingfin @cody-helix02 and many many more!

special shout out to the cult!! zim zam, my friends, zim zam!!! also i'm so sorry if i forgot to tag anyone!!

9 - a ship that you can't get enough of?

bradnate, andyeddie, snurgie, ronnix, lipluz, webgott, and no matter how much winnix i consume it never gets old so them too!

14 - your fav underrated character?

ooh this is always hard bc everyone classifies underrated as a different thing.. are burgie and harry underrated? if so, them! chuck grant, tab (this man is so loved he's can't be underrated but i couldn't not mention mr lover lover himself), alton more??? one of the most interesting easy co men for sure!! wish we had more of him (lol)

19 - what's your fav universally-accepted/fanon headcanon about a character?

ooh either all the nix childhood fanon or the andyeddie ghosts/afterlife/grief fanon.. yeah.. that hits the spot

24 - what wip from another creator are you most excited about?

all of @ep6bastogne's wips (yes i read all your tags about them in utter anticipation), @luckynumber4's burgie wip! anything @footprintsinthesxnd writes! same with @lewis-winters ALL of your wips sound so so sooooo up my street/my thing!! there are so many more but despite my plans to spend the day at home i actually have to leave the comfort of my bed and brave the cold outside, and i'm late already so i'm gonna have to stop listing, but it's very likely that i'm excited for almost every single wip any of you guys have!

28 - what's something that lives in your brain rent free and you want everyone to know about the show/the fandom/your works?

outside of hbowar??? oooh i have LOADS of things!! the thick of it!! it has such clever funny writing, the best dialogue and political satire ever, because it's just so true to life and accurate for uk politics. peter capaldi is fucking amazing in it! and you'll see a lot of uk actors that are famous for other things here. but yeah, it's just hilarious and witty and clever. love it. go watch it. ummm other than that, the korean band onewe!! please go listen to them, they are ridiculously talented and have the kindest most lovely and accepting fandom in the world. in fact, the hbo war fandom and onewe fandom are the only two fandoms i've ever felt happy and comfortable in. onewe write beautiful songs with the most gorgeous lyrics (they have a space series which is one of my all-time favourites). ALSO pride (2014) as a movie recommendation! this film is my comfort film but it tears me apart as well. some people watch it for the queerness and come away learning about welsh history too.. for others, it's the opposite. but as a welsh gay man for me both those elements are so important to who i am and my own identity, that this film is just feels so incredibly special to me. especially the character gethin who i really feel i can relate to a lot due to our circumstances. tim roth is someone who i always wanna shout about and who lives rent free in my head too. love that man so much. also the band the libertines!! because them and the strokes were my entire teenage years and i pretty much grew up with their music as my 'soundtrack'. ok i think that's enough, even though i definitely have way more to shout about. sorry i rambled!

for this ask game!

[monamiwonderingthoughts]

A Stranger's Soul

I wish to hear nothing, not the creaks of this house I have spent the last 5 years trapped in, while my husband apologises to our neighbours for my unsocial nature. He slowly drove a wedge between me and the world, alienating me from all my friends and family, until there was only him and this house. I don't want to hear the vague meows of a cat that he would never allow me to officially adopt, and definitely not his breathing.  

Yet his laughter filled the room that caged me, loud and domineering like him. I wish I knew what he found so funny; I don't know why or how he's laughing. I killed him. Bashed him in with a bat.  

Now, there is a thing wearing my husband's skin. I know it's his skin, it has the head injury I gave him, the little scar on his finger usually hidden by our wedding ring, but it's not my husband. The way my husband's skin stretches uncomfortably around his features to form a smile is uncanny. Their eyes were too bright for his pupils. Actions too lovely to be the man that abused me the past years.  

The fists that used to hit me gently helped me get ready, and his mouth that used to spew abuse gently kissed my temple. It's an ironic illusion of the man I thought I married. The kindness he used as bait to get me into his lair.  

Sadly, it's working, and I could get used to the soft smile and kind whispers. My new husband knows everything I told my former lover and keeps me tied with my earthly temptations, like going on holidays in spring, getting a puppy, and the little things. He still traps me in this forsaken house, but what am I if not a slave of familiarity.  

He's not so bad; I thought about informing other people, but seeing how the new female tenant from the house across the street comes to the door with a shy smile, her flirty demeanour tells me it's not just me falling for the new him. It's not just her, all the other neighbours, and the people he calls; everyone loves him. He must be charming, nothing like my old husband.  

So, I started giving him a fighting chance. I return his smile, and when he kisses me, I kiss back and stop hiding from his gentle touch, no longer afraid of what the old inhabitant of his skin did to me. But he's losing interest. Now I've accepted him, he's bored; he wants something newer, fresher. I can tell. His eyes are still warm, but they're losing their brightness; he is constantly on his phone; it's on silent but brightens the room at night.  

I realised why when I saw her. The female tenant across the street was so beautiful, young, and fresh. Gorgeous blonde hair like that news anchor he loves to watch. When I was mousey, she was confident. She had a smile that the boy bands of my youth used to sing about.  

How he looked at her overlapped with how he looked at me. Suddenly, I was young again, and a charming older man with a rugged beard approached me with a maturity I hadn't seen in men my age. It was my first step towards doom, and she was about to take that step.  

It would be a lie to say I wasn't jealous; my husband discarded that look with me; even the new version never looked at me like that, not with that loaded, heavy gaze that makes butterflies in your tummy. I can't help being partially in anticipation. Am I scared for her, or do I fear her? I don't want him to hurt her the same way he hurt me, but if he loved her like she deserved, it would break me.  

I want to warn her that she is so young and beautiful, and she has so much potential like I used to; she doesn't listen and thinks I'm jealous. When the new version of my husband invites her over, she smiles at me but nothing more. The more she comes over, the more I hate her; instead of trying to help her, I wait. Wait until the same ending befalls her.  

From the gentle words to shouting, from soft caresses to fists hitting skin, his descent from loving too abusive. I wait like a lioness stalking her prey, waiting for him to entirely focus on her and drop his vigilance.  

Then it comes, she's doe-eyed; and comes dressed to the nines in a pretty pink dress to match her pink purse. She sits for a dinner laden with drugs. I feel bad using her as bait, but I killed my real husband. I can kill the one wearing his skin; I just needed another moment of weakness.  

The deed is done; she's lost consciousness, and he drags her into the underground cellar that I have only visited once before. When all his focus is on her, and he picks up the bat, I swing the bat I originally killed him with. Then I keep hitting him, again and again, letting the splatters of blood paint the walls and the sounds of metal hitting flesh fill the room.  

Hours go by before I come back to myself, and then I notice the body on the floor isn't him, just an unrecognisable woman and traces of blonde hair peeking through blood. That is not right; where is he? Where has he gone? He escaped again. Then I see him walking in with bleach. Cleaning with a familiarity that can only be rehearsed through live action. He is covered in blood but not injured.   

Looking down at the bat in my hand, I realise it doesn't feel cold or hot; there's no wetness from sweat or stickiness from blood. I can't describe how the ground feels; I'm not sure I'm even on it. My husband was never replaced; he just restarted after he killed me.  

No. That's not possible. When I sat on the couch, people were definitely talking to me; estranged friends and family came to visit me, they told me they missed me, and one even whispered and asked me to come back with her. So, I ran to the living room, looked at the couch loaded with memories, and saw a framed picture; it was me. I knew it was, but I didn't recognise her anymore. Full cheeks, flushed smile, the potential that was robbed from me.  

The girl in the frame smiled at me, it was a lovely smile, comforting even, but her eyes looked at me in pity. I tried to pick her up, but my hands passed through the frame. She wasn't looking at me, there was no secret message she was trying to pass. Only a picture frame tucked securely onto the couch.  

I search the rest of the small room for answers. All I see is a TV that's too big for our living room, drawing all the attention away from the rest of the furniture. My eyes glide over the shelf full of accessories, the pictures hanging on the wall, and the spotless floor.  

Then I refocus on the shelf hiding in plain sight. I see so many women's accessories; the only ones I recognise is my blue scrunchy and the pink purse the female tenant brought; I don't recognise the rest. 

I can’t help but hyper fixate on the sheer number of female accessories, an odd amount for a widowed man in his 40s. He had always liked watching pretty women, he might have liked pretty accessories too. Or they could be his trophies. The young female tenant and I might not be the only women to die by his hands. 

[kurlyfrasier]

The Summons

Pairing: None, really. I mean Leia Organa x Han Solo are in it for a hot minute, but they are not the focal point lol

Synopsis: Captain Carson Teva gets a summons from Mandalore requesting his presence. OR: Teva meets the Mand’alor

Word Count: 3600ish

A/N: So I’ve had this idea in my head for a WHILE and finally got it out lol I’m talking, like, this was my 2nd Mando fic idea here, people lol So excited to finally share it! Anyway, it was supposed to be super short and funny and ended up being a little longer than anticipated, but I still like it. Might write another part to tie up a small thing or might write this in Din or Cara’s pov lol cuz well, you’ll see. I think it would be fun to read their pov. ENJOY!

Warnings: none. This is all for fun people lol

Disclaimer: I do not own any Star Wars/Mandalorian anything. I know very little of the lore. All Mando’a words found at mandoa.org. Everything else I typically find on Wookieepedia or make it up. OCs are my own.

Captain Carson Teva stared unblinking at the holovid message, not hearing a word that was said. He heard it the first time. Or, he thinks he heard it the first time. Maybe it was the seventh time when the rush of blood in his ears finally stopped long enough for him to listen. Either way, he was lucky he hadn’t crashed into an asteroid field before going into hyperspace.

As a New Republic X-wing pilot who was often patrolling the Outer Rim, he had seen and heard many things. He himself had even bent the rules a few times. Sometimes, he thought, what happens in the Outer Rim, should stay in the Outer Rim. With this message though, he needed to get back to Coruscant and speak to the senator. She, he knew, would want to see this message in person. Otherwise she might think it a joke. Heck, he thought it might be a joke.

~~~

“Is Senator Organa available?” Teva hadn’t even waited for his feet to hit the ground with the question.

“Last I saw she was just heading back to her apartment,” Trapper Wolf, who was only waiting for him to return so he could head out, furrowed his brows. Teva wished he could explain, but he still wasn’t sure if Wolf was interested in their - at the moment - small band of rebels. So, he ignored the look with a quick thanks and hopped on the closest speeder for hire to the Organa-Solo home, a small holo-pad hidden in his hand.

Han Solo answered the door with a curt, “What.”

“Sorry to bother you, sir. I’m Captain Teva, New Republice X-wing pilot, looking for Senator Organa.”

Solo raised his brows, “Must be important to come knocking on our home this late in the day.”

“I believe it is, sir,” Teva said after a beat, realizing Solo had no intentions of inviting him in, standing there blocking the entryway. “I got a holovid message from-” Teva took a quick glance of his surroundings and seeing no-one, took a step closer in order to whisper, “The message comes from Mandalore.”

“Mandalore?” Solo’s brows scrunched. “Wasn’t that planet turned to glass? Completely inhabitable.”

“Not anymore. On my patrols in the Outer Rim these past few years, there's been a lot of changes.”

Sensing he wasn’t going to get any more information until Leia was present, Solo invited him in, stating his wife was putting their son to bed and should be out momentarily.

“Want a drink?” Solo asked after a few silent, awkward minutes.

“Captain Teva,” Senator Leia Oragana’s voice had the men spinning to find her entering the living room. Teva noticed she didn’t look fazed by his presence and thought maybe there was more Skywalker in her than he originally thought. “Please, make yourself comfortable,” she motioned to the sofa and he sat, happy to let himself relax after his rush there. Not many things made Carson Teva nervous, but this message was beyond his understanding and mulling over it in a never ending cycle since he first saw it had him at his wits end. “Would you like a drink? Last I heard, you were out patrolling the Outer Rim,” she sat in a chair adjacent to him.

“Thank you, but no. I,” Teva cut himself short, glancing at Solo, wondering if it was okay to speak further with him around. The rebel group Organa was slowly building was small and he didn’t know if the past smuggler was part of it.

“Speak freely, Carson. My husband knows all about our venture. In fact,” she gave Solo a wide smile, “he’s part of it.”

Teva nodded. “I’ve received a message from Mandalore-”

“Mandalore? They just got a new king, didn’t they? And have started settling themselves back on their home planet, yes?”

“Correct. And I thought you might like to see it, so I flew here straight away.”

She gave him an assessing gaze. “Well, let’s see it.”

Teva set the small holo-pad down on their caf table and held his breath as it started.

“Captain Carson Teva,” the blue-tinged, fully-armored figure stood, blaster on one hip and knives on the other, a spear strapped to her back and arms at her side. She seemed completely relaxed, if not a little bored, yet her voice was succinct and full of certainty. “The Mand’alor invites you as his guest to Mandalore. Come alone and at your earliest convenience,” the mandalorian’s head snapped, looking over her shoulder. “Marshal Dune sends her regards.”

“Marshal Dune?” Organa’s face pinched.

“She was a shock trooper. Turned Navarro into a safe place. I recruited her for a marshal position. Took a bit of convincing, though.”

“And her relation to Mandalore?”

“I’m,” Teva dragged the word out, remembering an old Razor Crest entering hyperspace as he entered Navarro’s atmo. It was an uncommon enough ship those days and he only knew of one person who flew one. A Mandalorian. But Dune had never mentioned knowing any Mandalorians and when he asked the now magistrate about the Razor Crest, he had shrugged and denied a Razor Crest was ever there. He hadn’t seen either since, but had spoken to Dune over comms. Nothing of note came to mind as he thought over those conversations, though.

“Hello,” a fingers snapped in front of Teva, bringing back from his thoughts. “Captain. Mandalore,” Solo, who was now sitting next to him, made an impatient gesture for him to continue.

“Right. Sorry, senator. I’m not really sure what Marshal Dune’s relation is to Mandalore, but,” he took a deep breath, sighing heavily as he let it out, shaking his head. “There was an incident a few years back when I recruited Dune,” Teva looked up to find Organa giving him a nod to continue. “An old Imperial base was destroyed on Navarro. I saw a Razor Crest entering hyperspace when I hit their atmo. I had thought I’d seen it before - it always seemed to be running from trouble - but Greef, Navarro’s magistrate, had implied there was never a Razor Crest there. I didn’t believe him, of course. But I wasn’t about to make a big deal about it.”

“I see,” she hummed. “As much as I wish I could go with you to have a chance to discuss political matters and Mandalore joining our cause, it’s clear they only want you. Are you okay with going alone? Do you think it’s safe?”

“I believe so, ma’am. The summons didn’t seem threatening.”

“True. It would be nice to get a feel for what they want,” her fingers drummed against her thigh. “Please, report back with what you find and be safe, captain. I hope to become allies in the future. I would hate to be on a Mandalorian’s bad side.”

Teva gave Senator Organa a weak salute, grabbed his holo-pad and left, letting her know he would leave in the morning.

~~~

Captain Teva landed in the Keldabe - an old city on Mandalore - shipyard with trepidation. He could not, for Maker’s sake, think of why he would be summoned to Mandalore at all. He had spoken to that one Mandalorian after shooting a few ice spiders, and no others. Had he seen a few from afar? Yes, especially since Mandalore had become habitable again. But still, unless that one was still mad about him and Wolf leaving him stranded on the Maldo Kreis - which he fervently hoped was not the case - he had no idea why he would be a guest of their king. He was nobody. Just a simple pilot of the New Republic.

Teva shook his head, ridding himself of his circling thoughts and opened the hatch, reminding himself that he was not an easily intimidated man. He would not allow a bunch of Mandalorians to change that. Besides, he needed to figure out what they wanted and if they would be interested in becoming allies with the New Republic or help the senator’s cause.

“Captain Teva,” a familiar, modulated voice spoke. The very same one he had listened to on the holovid message at least a hundred times. His thoughts immediately fled, gaping as he noticed his greeting party. His eyes roamed. There were at least a dozen, all carrying varied weapons as though they were extensions of themselves. All seemed relaxed, no blasters in hand at least. All painted differently, even if some had the same colors. Except one. The one from the Maldo Kreis who stood with his arms crossed over his chest. Suddenly, his mouth was dry and tongue felt swollen.

Maybe this particular Mandalorian did hold a grudge?

Teva gave them all a curt nod, swallowing, uncertain of the proper way to greet them.

“I’m Vyktoria,” she stepped closer, apart from her entourage, and grasped his forearm in greeting. “Aide to the Mand’alor. I, along with a few guards, are here to escort you to the throne room where the Mand’alor will greet you.”

Teva thought the ‘few’ who came to escort him was a bit extreme, but muttered out his thanks, nonetheless, happy he was even able to get the words out. Vyktoria made a simple motion for him to follow as she turned around. The others followed suit, except the silver Mandalorian, who stared him down, keeping Teva frozen in place. A beat later he also turned and allowed his arms to relax at his sides, walking forward. He spoke not a word. Letting out a breath he didn’t know he held, Teva followed, heart pounding as he wondered who the Mand’alor was.

The Mandalorians spoke amongst themselves in a language Teva had never heard, allowing him to relax. He would not have to make conversation nor did they see him as a threat. That was good, even if the silver one had slowed his pace to match his own.

“If I’m correct,” Teva said before he could stop himself, noticing the helmet turning to face him in his peripheral. “I believe you may be the same Mandalorian I once saved from an incident with ice spiders a few years back.”

The man stayed quiet, giving no indication that he was the same guy, gaze moving to face forward. Teva had no doubts that he was. He looked too familiar, felt too familiar. Not being Force sensitive, Teva trusted his gut and his gut said they were one and the same. Although, he remembered, he talked a bit more when hoping for a ride off of Maldo Kreis.

Teva tried for conversation again as they passed piles of rubble and crumbled buildings, not seeing a newly restored city past the Mandalorians in front of them. “I’m glad to see you made it off that Maldo Kreis.”

Still, his companion did not speak. 

“I’m sorry your home still has reminders of war,” Teva tried one last time, gesturing at the emptiness around them, the half crumbled ruins, the sands that turned to violent sculptures of glass. Teva couldn’t imagine his home planet, green and filled with the noise of life, ever feeling so empty. “I hope your Mand’alor,” he fumbled over the word, even if it was similar to the planet’s own name, “is making it feel like home again.”

When the man next to him, once again, did not respond, Teva gave up on his one-sided conversation. Ahead, he could hear a crowd of people and as they got closer he saw a large marketplace, filled shoulder to shoulder with Mandalorians, countless without helmets or even armor on at all. All were talking at once, weaving through each other, and laughing. It put a smile on Teva’s face and calmed his mind.

“It seems your Mand’alor is doing good for his people,” Teva couldn’t help but say, eyes never focusing on one thing as he soaked in their surroundings. The marketplace was basic, but most planets didn’t have big cities with large shopping structures. He could see homes - many with children running in and out, laughing and shouting as they played their games - made of sand and stone. No rubble or half ruins in sight. He gave the silver Mandalorian a wide smile. “All this joy after being away from their home planet for so many years. And the children! not a care in the world, it seems. It’s amazing. I find I like your king already.” It was the truth, he realized, surprising himself. After seeing all these carefree people, Teva knew their Mand’alor was a good man. He was still curious about the summons, but could now confidently say he did not think he was in any danger.

As they walked, the crowd shifted to allow them room, all taking the time to pound a fist to their chests, nodding their heads. Teva noticed none in his group were reciprocating the gesture and thought maybe it was respect toward the guards. Still, Teva nodded in greeting as he walked by, feeling odd not to acknowledge them.

Further in the city Teva could see a much larger, more distinguished home. Several stories tall, looking like a castle. Half built with steel and the rest with sand and stone, mixing the old building with the new. It was tragic and beautiful. A reminder that Mandalorians will never stop fighting and will always find a way.

The noise of the market faded, bringing with it new sounds. Familiar sounds from his rookie days. Mandalorians, young and old - all in full armor - sparred and shot targets on one side of the field next to the castle while the other side held line after line after line of young soldiers doing drills. Blaster shots and the clanging of metal on metal rose to his ears just as loud as the perfectly aligned drills. The group he followed started to holler and shout their encouragement and praise, simultaneously cheering and booing in good fun.

Captain Carson Teva was astounded by the sheer numbers there were, how carefree they could be while seeing how seriously they took their practice. Mandalorians were always known to be the best fighters - guardians in a cruel galaxy - but those tales of grandeur he heard as a young boy had been silenced by rumors of how fearless, ruthless, heartless they became when they were driven from their home. Practically destroyed. The galaxy thought them dead. Extinct. Yet here they are, alive and thriving.

Before he knew it, Teva was inside the castle walls. A chill made him shiver, but not from being cold. No. But from the knowledge that he was about to meet the man who made it all happen. The man who gave these people hope. A home. The man who brought the Mandalorians of old back to life. This man, Teva knew, deserved the title of king.

But would this same king believe in Senator Organa’s cause? Would he welcome allies after they had done so little to help them? Would he willingly put his people in harm’s way to help bring peace to the galaxy? To rid them forever of the Empire? 

Teva could only hope.

Two overly large, decorated doors opened - the kind one had to push or pull - by two sentinels standing guard. Inside, there were dozens of Mandalorians standing, all fully armored and, as one, turned to the group and pounded a fist to their hearts when they entered. The force of which caused the simple pilot’s ears to ring. The guards who had escorted him scattered to the outskirts of the open room where the walls held banners of a creature’s skull with two rounded tusks and a long face. Teva’s gaze followed them until his eyes caught sight of a large tapestry of a mudhorn’s head, made in a simple design, hanging on the opposite side of the entrance. Further down and in front of the tapestry sat a throne. It was simply made, and sturdy with no extravagance. Teva’s first thought was that it looked uncomfortable. He noticed, with a curious tilt of his head, that a small, green, big-eared being sat on an arm of the chair. It was babbling to the guard standing next to the throne and the guard, holding a spear in his hand, listened as if he was enraptured by its words. Like he could understand what it was saying.

Not for the first time that day, Captain Carson Teva, was confused.

The small being was obviously a child. A young one, at that. And one who was allowed to sit on a king’s chair. He had never heard of such a thing. Never before seen such a thing. It didn’t make sense.

What in Maker’s name was going on?

A flash of silver caught his attention, his eyes instantly glued to the one Mandalorian he knew. Teva watched the man’s steady, confident stride end at the throne. He sat. The voices died down, watching the man on the throne. The T-visor gaze surveyed the room until the kid, squealing excitedly, hopped onto his lap. The king’s gaze quickly landed the child, lifted wiggling fingers in the air as a threat for tickles, causing the kid to laugh so loud it echoed off the walls, enveloping everyone with its joy. Quiet chortles at the scene caused Teva to glance around, finding most of the Mandalorians had taken off their helmets, holding them comfortably under their arms like a limmie ball. Suddenly, as though the last piece of a puzzle was finally put in place, Teva understood.

The silver Mandalorian was the Mand’alor. 

It made sense now, why everyone pounded a fist to their chest. It was the Mandalorian equivalent of a bow. They were showing him the respect that was his due.

Teva felt all blood drain from his face, only for it to pool nauseously in his stomach.

“Captain Carson Teva. Long time,” a heavy arm landed around his shoulders. “Come on,” Marshal Dune smiled, dragging him forward as everyone started conversing again. “Let me introduce you to a friend of mine.”

“A friend,” Teva deadpanned, feeling slightly better now that he wasn’t the only one without a helmet.

Dune hummed, face scrunching in faux thought, “More like a brother really.”

“To a Mandalorian?” He was skeptical, learning over the last few years through their comms that Dune could have a dry sense of humor.

“Not just any Mandalorian,” she whispered. “The Mandalorian.”

“As in-”

“Mm-hm,” she nodded, her smile turning feral as they stood in front of the very man they spoke of. “And when he made a comment about an X-wing pilot and some ice spiders, I asked him which one. And, of course, he didn’t know. Not until I pulled it out of him with as many details of the tale as possible. And what do ya know? The X-wing pilot he owes his very life to is my friend, the captain.”

“I’m not so sure abou-”

“Now, Captain Teva,” she held up a hand to silence his protest. “Don’t go selling yourself short. If not for you, my friend may very well be dead, may not have become Mand’alor, and may not have brought his people back together on their home planet.”

Teva was certain he heard the Mand’alor give a long-suffering sigh.

“So, after knocking some sense into the guy, I convinced him to throw a celebration in your honor.”

“You wha-”

“What’s the point of having a royal friend if you don’t get to enjoy a good old fashion party every once in a while, am I right?”

“I suppose so-”

“Exactly!” She slapped him hard on the shoulder, making him wince. “So we celebrate tonight, but first,” she pointed at the silver Mandalorian, laughter in her eyes, stretching an arm out for the kid to climb up to her shoulder. “Pay up, Mando,” and walked away with the child babbling away at her.

Teva, once again, did not understand what just happened.

“Captain Teva,” the beat of awkward silence ended at the Mand’alor’s words, forcing him to face that dark, T-visor gaze. “She’s right, I never did properly thank you.”

“There’s really no need. I was only doing my job.”

“That may be, but still, I thank you,” the visor stared down at Teva from his throne, waiting.

“You’re welcome,” Teva finally said, not knowing what else to do.

“Prepare yourself,” the Mand’alor whispered and stood up, causing the room to go silent once more.

“Prepare? Wha-”

“A few years ago,” the Mand’alor’s voice carried without him even trying. All eyes on him as he told the tale. “Before I had even won the darksaber, I was traveling sub-light in order to hold up my end of a deal for a passenger I was shuttling to Trask, where her husband awaited her there. On my way, two X-wings ended up chasing me through the tunnels of ice on a freezing planet. I landed my ship to hide, not wanting to deal with them, and instead ended up falling into a cave filled with ice spider eggs. It was here that Grogu decided to have a snack,” the crowd chuckled. The Mand’alor continued the story. Telling everyone of his near-death experience with the ice spiders, barely making it back to his ship that was practically done for after the fall into the cave, afraid he had failed. Failed his passenger. Failed his son. “When suddenly the X-wing pilots found me again, just as the largest ice spider had started cracking the transparasteel, and shot it down,” he looked over at Teva and held out a hand. Taking his cue, Teva grasped his forearm as Vyktoria had done earlier in the day. He nodded, “So tonight, in  honor of this man, Captain Carson Teva, for saving my life… We feast!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

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[paaaartieeeeees]

“It’s so fucked up, and I really didn’t expect it, because when you called, it was funny to me – I was glad to know where you were, because, you weren’t here when I got back, and then I didn’t hear from you for the rest of the day,”

Yeah, you should’ve at least maybe called him beforehand. Let him know where you were at. How long you were going to be.

yeah this makes total sense. I’d feel the same as Eddie too.

“I really wanted to kiss her,”

Oh.

That wasn’t what you expected.

“Just to get a taste myself,”

ohhhhhh, yeah. This is all making a lot of sense and Eddie’s reaction is totally justified.

Eddie shutting you out and leaving you to fend for yourself with Steve’s help made sense given Eddie’s history. You disliked everything about the reality of the situation, but you appreciated the logic. It settled within your system fast, and you hardly reacted to it. Immediately thought of how this was something that needed rules and talking through and for you to keep in mind for the future.

For sure. There’s definitely gotta be some compromise in both sides for it to work.

Even though there were many more things to be added, like the band, the support he needed from his label, the creative freedom he felt in collaboration with his producers, the mental clarity he'd always be left with after speaking to his therapist, or the way he'd feel like he could concur the world after an AA meeting – all of these things were important, but the girl was the most important. The thing that really mattered.

With full attention on you, you held your breath in anticipation of what was going to be said next.

“Got the best, the kindest, sweetest, hottest, sexiest, ugh,” Eddie groaned, and Steve chuckled at the theatrics. “So talented, so supportive, so smart, so beautiful, and so… so awake right now,”

Fuck.

OHMYGOD THISSSSSSS MELTS MY HEART and also soooooo embarrassed to be caught LOL

Eddie had his moment alone with you, told you other reasons why he spiraled after seeing you drunk, and you'd unnecessarily apologised a million times. Because what if you had been...? You weren't. You knew you weren't. But what if you had been? Eddie hugged you for long, and then asked, “No ragrets?” in a silly voice and you smiled through a sniffle and answered, “No ragrets!” in an almost upbeat scream - an inside joke that would never get old, that instantly lightened the mood every time.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHMYGAAAAAAAHHHHD IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW!!! EDDIE’S REACTION IS EVEN MORE JUSTIFIED!!!! 😱😱😱

“You. He can hear you.” Eddie made it worse, and you shot eyes towards Steve by the coffee machine who sort of... nodded, apologetically so, but he was having way too much fun making you go through it, and you wanted to die.

Yup. Crawling under a rock and dying is the appropriate response 😂

Future regrets that you could see on the horizon. Staring at you. They were everywhere. Regrets fucking everywhere.

oh. no. Oh no. What’s gonna HAPPENNNNNNNNNN?!?!?? I truly don’t know how to feel about this cliffhanger I’m SCARED

That's It

♥ ♥  rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Steve is there to stay, and you fall into a new routine together, the three of you, old buddies back to their old ways. Except, no, this is actually nothing like your old ways, is it?

CW / disclaimer: 18+, language, fem!reader, angst, brief mentions of substance abuse and addiction, mentions of smut, sort of cheating? not really... you'll see

Author’s note: Eddie had good reason to freak out a little over you and Steve getting drunk together. Learn why! Also, we're headed into... new territory. Hope you enjoy!

Wordcount: 6.2K

(find all other parts of this story here)

You were shocked awake because Steve jolted. Spazzed like he dreamt he was about to fall off a cliff.

It immediately made you very aware of how your bodies were positioned; you on your side, facing the back of the couch, leaning into the little crevice of darkness that it created. And Steve was on his back, right alongside you, and he had you in the crook of his arm, your head on his bicep as the rest of it curled around the front of your shoulders. Like you'd been spooning, but the spoon had fallen open.

You felt how the alcohol consumption of the night before had affected your body, but wanted to ignore it. To sleep more. Steve was pleasantly warm and the couch was comfy, but Steve had jolted in shock and immediately moved to sit up. However, just as quick as he’d awoken, he was coaxed back down by Eddie’s whispering voice.

“Shh shh, no it’s OK, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,”

You felt Steve move slightly, and it felt like he checked on you before he relaxed back into his position.

“Hung over?”

“Hmh,” was all Steve managed.

He felt awful.

So did Eddie, though.

“What time is it?” Steve whispered, his voice barely there. “It’s light out.”

You heard Eddie chuckle softly and knew he had probably sat down on the coffee table, like he would sometimes do when you were pulling yourself out of a nap and he had to put his shoes on before heading out somewhere.

“It’s just past 7, sorry,”

You heard Steve try to say, “Sorry about last night,” through a yawn, but Eddie was quick to dismiss him.

“No, don’t,” Eddie whispered, “I didn’t– you did nothing wrong, I just freaked out,”

“I shouldn’t have taken her to–”

Steve stopped talking. You didn’t hear why, but imagined either Eddie held up a hand or made a face.

They both knew you. There was no need for Steve to lie about who had taken who to a bar.

“Ok but... this was my fault,” you felt Steve shake a little, and pictured it was his other hand gesturing from you to himself a couple of times.

“Honestly,” Eddie whispered, pausing a second before carrying on, “I’m glad she didn’t have to sleep alone,”

Pretending to sleep became more difficult by the second.

“I scared myself and didn’t know if I could... I didn’t know how to face it,” Eddie explained, but Steve stayed silent.

“It’s so fucked up, and I really didn’t expect it, because when you called, it was funny to me – I was glad to know where you were, because, you weren’t here when I got back, and then I didn’t hear from you for the rest of the day,”

Yeah, you should’ve at least maybe called him beforehand. Let him know where you were at. How long you were going to be.

“And it was funny, you were–” Eddie stopped to huff a laugh through his nostrils as quietly as he could manage it. “You were slurring, like, I’ve not heard you talk like that since we were... what, twenty? Twenty-one?”

You remembered times where Steve and Eddie used to get high together on bad weed, two lanky teens who didn't know how to talk to girls without hurting their own feelings, and then they would go see a movie where they’d come to buy popcorn from you, and you had to pretend to take their money before you just gave it back to them in change.

Then after they’d napped in their seats and missed most of whatever movie they hadn't paid money to see, they would stay to clean up all the popcorn they’d spilled and would wait out your shift to go out together.

Man, you used to go out and drink together, all three of you, all of the time. That really seemed like a lifetime ago.

“But then when I saw you – her, mostly when I saw her, I really scared myself,” Eddie continued whispering.

You felt your throat tighten and laid as still as you could still. Tried to focus on your breathing.

“I really wanted to kiss her,”

Oh.

That wasn’t what you expected.

“Just to get a taste myself,”

Ah.

That sounded more like it.

Awful. Obviously, this was awful. But it made sense to you.

Eddie shutting you out and leaving you to fend for yourself with Steve’s help made sense given Eddie’s history. You disliked everything about the reality of the situation, but you appreciated the logic. It settled within your system fast, and you hardly reacted to it. Immediately thought of how this was something that needed rules and talking through and for you to keep in mind for the future.

“It’s so gross, she threw up, and I just wanted to kiss her more,” Eddie whispered, and you could hear he almost made himself stop talking just before the confession. Then he said, “Sorry,” and you thought maybe Steve was grimacing at the visual.

“But those are my issues, man. ‘S got nothing to do with you, and you looked like you needed a fucking drink yesterday,” Eddie’s voice had shifted from whisper to a low, hushed baritone.

Your hip started hurting from laying on it so still for so long, but you didn’t want to interrupt the boys, so you decided to bear it for as long as you could.

“You okay?”

Steve sighed, and you heard his hand fall onto his leg, or maybe his stomach, with a soft slap.

“I’m getting a divorce,” Steve spoke softly, now also not whispering anymore.

“What?”

“Yea, it’s... I don’t know, looking back, I honestly have no idea what I was thinking,”

You were glad your back was turned and neither of them could see your face as it frowned deeply.

“I thought I could make it,” Steve said, and it got followed by a silence.

This is also what Steve had said to you, but he hadn’t elaborated then.

“I thought that if I tried to see someone through eyes, through this different lens, that I could just... I don’t know how to explain it without sounding stupid,”

“Story of your life,”

They both snickered a little. Boys. Idiots. It made enough noise for you to stir a little. For your throat to escape a small little noise. Steve froze immediately, breaths were held, and the room got overtaken by silence.

They were trying not to wake you. After shifting enough to get more comfortable on your hip, you sighed deeply and relaxed again. It occurred to you that maybe it was strange that you were asleep in Steve’s arms – not curled into him, or too on top of him, but, this had every potential to be weird. Especially with Eddie sat on the coffee table, talking to the boy that held you as you slept.

Except, it wasn’t weird.

It was nice. Felt natural. You were just you, Steve and Eddie. The forever tripod. You’d fallen asleep in between Eddie and Steve plenty of times, so it had never really been weird. You just hadn’t expected it to still feel so normal now that you were all either already or almost thirty years old.

And, you know, married. Steve, at least.

When enough seconds of you not moving had passed, their conversation resumed.

“This doesn’t help,” Steve said, now back to whispering again and you could hear the humour in his voice. “The expectations you’ve set are too high, man,” Steve complained.

“What do you mean?” Eddie sounded genuinely confused.

“Being around the two of you for so long? It’s set the bar too high,” Steve huffed another soft laugh, but Eddie didn’t join him.

“Are you... Steve are you jealous?”

You felt Steve attempt a shrug, and your cheeks flushed at the idea of Steve being jealous of the relationship you had with Eddie. It somehow made your heart swell for Eddie because you loved him so, and you felt a little proud of that fact that you fit together so nicely. It took a lot of work, and it surely hadn’t been easy, but you both put in effort and now Steve was jealous of it.

But it also made you feel insanely guilty. Made you want to just be friends, the three of you, for a little bit. Pretend that it was all just platonic, and Steve had nothing to be jealous about.

“Wow,” you heard Eddie get up and take a few steps. “Steve Harrington? Jealous of little old Eddie Munson?”

Oh no. Eddie was going milk this for years.

“Okay,” Steve regretted even bringing it up. “It’s not like that,” he backtracked, but Eddie wasn’t having it and you knew exactly what smug little expression he was currently wearing.

“No, no, I get it, I mean, look around. Got the big house, the cars, the job, the–”

“The pinball machines,” Steve added.

“The pinball machines, did you– did she play you?”

“She did,”

You weren't even facing him, had both your eyes closed, pretended to be fast asleep still, but you could feel Eddie grin. Knew he loved it when you showed interest in whatever his current hyperfixation was.

“Man… I really do have it all, don’t I?” Eddie softly mused, almost sounding a little shy. Bashful. Like he couldn't believe his luck and having Steve confess he was jealous of him kind of brought it all into perspective for him.

“Got the girl,” Steve added, leaving his tone up as if to continue the list that Eddie had started.

But Eddie didn’t continue the game, and instead repeated, “Got the girl.” definitively.

That was the end of the list.

Even though there were many more things to be added, like the band, the support he needed from his label, the creative freedom he felt in collaboration with his producers, the mental clarity he'd always be left with after speaking to his therapist, or the way he'd feel like he could concur the world after an AA meeting – all of these things were important, but the girl was the most important. The thing that really mattered.

With full attention on you, you held your breath in anticipation of what was going to be said next.

“Got the best, the kindest, sweetest, hottest, sexiest, ugh,” Eddie groaned, and Steve chuckled at the theatrics. “So talented, so supportive, so smart, so beautiful, and so… so awake right now,”

Fuck.

“So, so, so very awake,”

Yeah. You'd been caught out.

You felt two hands squeeze you, and you flinched at the sudden contact. Eddie leaned over Steve and found your face to press a kiss onto, making you hum in acknowledgement.

“How long you been awake for, huh?” Eddie cooed into your ear, and you turned over a little to face him.

“The whole time,” you confessed with a sleepy smile, and you felt Steve tighten his grip on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered, knowing you understood what the apology was for, and followed it with a kiss to your lips. Several. More until he got your teeth because you couldn't help but laugh a little awkwardly.

You were on top of Steve and Eddie was kissing you, and with Steve just having confessed he was jealous of whatever you and Eddie had, it felt a little like shoving things into his face.

“That’s OK,” you dismissed it and moved to sit up. Thought you could talk about it later when your body wasn’t pressed into Steve’s.

You turned to look at Steve, gave a slight smile as you squinted and offered, “Breakfast?”

It had been a while since you'd seen Eddie be useful in the kitchen. Ever since you'd moved to LA and he'd hired chefs to come and do all the work for you, he'd barely touched the stove to begin with.

When you wanted to get up to help out, both boys refused and turned you away. Said you could just sit and drink your coffee, or, as Eddie suggested, go brush your hair since you'd just let it get wet in the shower last night and hadn't touched it after.

You commented, “You go brush your hair,” jokingly glaring at Eddie, but were already on your way out because he was right, your hair was a whole bird's nest that needed tending to.

When you returned, looking a little more presentable than before, Eddie and Steve had been joined by the personal chef who was teaching Steve how to do things.

Huh.

That had never occurred to you.

Eddie had hired all these people to take every single job out of your hands... but you could've just... done them with them. Joined in. Learned from them.

You knew Eddie probably also wouldn't like you doing that, hiring people to do jobs and then having you do them with them wasn't exactly the point, but seeing the chef teach Steve how to hold a knife properly opened a bunch of doors inside your mind.

“Don’t even think about it,” Eddie snuck up behind you, and Jesus fucking Christ, had he turned into some sort of mind reader? Or was the hungover version of you just that easy to read, somehow?

“Eddie,” you tried.

“Nope.” he shot you down immediately, his hand trailing over your lower stomach. He kept it there a second. There, where all the important things were stored, and you got it. Got what he meant.

Okay.

This could be another thing you were going to talk about later when Steve wasn't in the room with you. You understood why Eddie wanted you relaxed. Free of burden. Mind at complete ease, no stress, no worries, no nothing.

You got it.

But you also thought Eddie was taking it a little too far, maybe.

Over breakfast, Steve asked if it was okay if he would really stay for a month. When he had mentioned that the day before, he hadn't been joking. Apparently he'd gotten all the paperwork signed for his divorce and had immediately gone to catch a flight afterwards. “Got it done, and got out,” he said and he kind of laughed to hide the hurt. Of course he could stay for a month - hell, Eddie said, stay for fucking ever, he didn't mind, and neither did you. The guest room Steve used would just be Steve's room now. He was free to use your house as his own - no problem.

Steve mentioned rent, but Eddie swiped it off the table immediately. When Eddie didn't look, Steve signed and made eyes and you knew he meant, we'll figure something out behind his back. And you did. Steve had savings and even though you didn't want him to pay you for his stay, he said he'd feel bad if he'd freeload.

Eddie had his moment alone with you, told you other reasons why he spiraled after seeing you drunk, and you'd unnecessarily apologised a million times. Because what if you had been...? You weren't. You knew you weren't. But what if you had been? Eddie hugged you for long, and then asked, “No ragrets?” in a silly voice and you smiled through a sniffle and answered, “No ragrets!” in an almost upbeat scream - an inside joke that would never get old, that instantly lightened the mood every time.

Steve made himself useful. Became friends with every single person that set foot into the house. Let the chef teach him about cooking every single day. Learned how to clean a pool properly, how pool pH levels worked and stuff. Got to learn about various gardening tools and what plants were planted where and why, because of the sun and the shade and the position of the house and Steve loved it. Really kept himself busy.

You loved it too.

You still had Eddie's agenda to fret over, and with the upcoming release of a new album, there was lots to keep track off, but there was still a lot of free time, and now you had a buddy to spend it with whenever Eddie would be busy.

You took Steve hiking a lot, and Steve would challenge you to lap races in the pool all the time. You went to see the secret Corroded Coffin shows together and wouldn't be stuck by the side of the stage, but would be in the crowd with Steve. Mingling with fans. They'd come up to say hi, and Steve was an expert in exuding that's-enough-vibes and rounding-off-conversations-with-a-smile. Eventually you'd be left alone and you'd get to watch the band play fan-favorites and test out new songs.

For a few weeks, a new routine had settled into your system, and the new routine merged with one old one; sex every other night.

Eddie had looked it up and had shown you, “See, not every night. Every other night. Got to give my swimmers a break, give them a moment to collect themselves and listen to their trainers before I shoot them off to find the target,” Eddie had said, using his hands to really paint the picture of sperm cells swimming with laser focus.

“Wow, you really know how to make this romantic,” you'd joked, and Eddie had stored that comment away in his to-remember box inside his head, because every single every-other-night, he'd known exactly what to do to make it special. To get you in the mood within an instant.

Sometimes it was cliché shit, like rose petals and candle light and soft music and massage oil in hotel rooms.

Other times it was soft and slow touches on the couch that played and teased and wouldn't progress until you'd sling a leg over him to take matters into your own hands.

Sometimes it was hot shower sex.

Sometimes it'd be a quickie on a lounger out by the pool.

And sometimes, Eddie turned the insecure days and turned them into the best days and he'd try to start something on a day in between and you'd be like, “Every other day, Ed,” and he'd whisper something like, “I'm keeping my guys inside, don't worry,” and it'd just be all about you for a few hours.

You'd been going for months.

And every single pregnancy test you'd ever taken had come out negative.

It was a slap in the face every time, so after a while, you stopped doing them, because you'd rather wait until you'd missed two periods entirely than have a little piece of plastic ruin a full week of your life again.

“Let's not worry about it,” Eddie would always say. “Let's just have fun.”

You'd agreed on a year of just trying. Seeing what would happen. Just going with the flow. A full year, and if a full year of unprotected sex still wouldn't have done the trick, you'd go see a doctor together.

Eddie was a rock. Your rock.

But he'd also say things like, “You need to relax more,” and, “You can't overthink, you'll just stress yourself out,” whilst simultaneously beating himself over the head, because he was failing, wasn't he? Not able to get his girl the baby she wanted. That was on him. Of course it was.

But that was a difficult truth to face.

“Let's just have fun.”

And so fun you had.

Loud fun.

It took Steve two weeks to make a comment about being kept awake most nights.

“So um... you've got excellent stamina, I hear,” Steve tried subtly over breakfast one morning, speaking into his coffee mug before taking a sip. Eddie immediately understood what he meant and couldn't help the shit-eating grin that spread across his face.

“Damn right I do,” Eddie said, shoveling a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth before reaching over to squeeze your shoulder.

It took you a little longer to get it.

“Kind of have to with this one,” Eddie said, head rolling back to smirk at Steve, and Steve seemed a little uncomfortable, but not crazy awkward. There was humour there, but it was something you were missing, so you frowned at their interaction and narrowed your eyes suspiciously.

“And on a tight schedule too,” Steve commented, getting up from his seat and making his way over to the coffee pot for a refill. “Every other day?”

You were just about to have a sip of coffee, but you choked on it and sprayed it right from your mug into your face.

Horrified.

Oh my God.

No!

“Babe,” Eddie moved in with some kitchen roll, laughing, but you'd already hidden your face into the crook of your elbow resting on the table.

“You can hear us?” you'd never been more mortified in your life.

Now, listen.

You didn't care about Eddie's band members hearing you get a little too cozy in one of the bunks on the tourbus at all.

You didn't care that they would comment on it whilst it was happening - that had only just made you giggle and had made Eddie grip onto you tighter.

You didn't care that the pool guy had walked in on you naked in the pool once - mostly because you'd been wrapped around Eddie's and so you'd had all of your bits covered. But you didn't care about being caught like that, and hadn't cared when Eddie had shouted, “Sorry, dude, give us twenty minutes and this space is all yours,” through a smile.

But Steve?!

Steve trying to get some peaceful sleep in your guest room whilst he was going through a divorce being kept awake deep into early hours because he could hear you being fucked into the mattress by Eddie?!

No, no, no, no - no!

“You. He can hear you.” Eddie made it worse, and you shot eyes towards Steve by the coffee machine who sort of... nodded, apologetically so, but he was having way too much fun making you go through it, and you wanted to die.

“Oh, God,” you groaned, face covered with both your hands as you tried to process the humiliation.

“No, it's more like, oh, oh, God, fuck, Eddie,”

You launched yourself at Eddie to make him shut up, spilling more coffee in the process of climbing onto his lap, grabbing at his head until you had his mouth covered with one and his eyes with the other.

“Steve, you're moving into the downstairs guest room,” you stated matter of factly.

“Yea, 'cause she's not going to quiet down, she's not–” Eddie spoke through your fingers until you shut him up with a kiss, the only thing that would really make him stop talking.

“Capable,” Eddie finished with a stupid grin once you pulled back.

“No, it's okay, your housekeeper left me earplugs,”

Cool.

So the housekeeper knew too.

Great.

Life was so great, wasn't it?

Ugh. Fucking hell.

You were going to bury yourself alive that afternoon, you decided. And you'd make Eddie help you out.

“No ragrets?” Eddie asked softly when you got up from his lap, and you sighed, “No ragrets,” back in response. Eddie looked at you a little pleadingly, and then shot eyes towards Steve who sat back down with a full mug of steaming coffee before he looked back at you.

Eddie was asking if he could tell Steve.

You hadn't told anyone. You barely liked talking about it outside of the upstairs bathroom, where you'd initially had talked to Eddie about wanting a baby, maybe, and where Eddie had promised to put one inside of you right that second. It was also where you'd taken every single pregnancy test you'd ever taken, and it felt like that room had become the one place where you got to sit inside your feelings about it not working out. The second you'd leave it, you'd step back into the day, into reality, where there were meetings to be had and there was music to be made.

“No ragrets.” you said again, sweeter and softer this time as you answered Eddie's unspoken question, but leaving the room as you did.

Eddie could tell Steve without you there.

You don't know why it felt so weird to you, but you felt embarrassed enough as it was and wanted to go for a shower anyway.

Steve didn't look at you weird after. Didn't bring it up either, which was nice. He was just his same old self when you sat around the pool and talked about Robin together, you with a foot in the water as you sat on the edge, both boys spread out on loungers

“She says they're not really together, that it's more of a friends with benefits situation... but, they're basically dating, anyway,” Steve explained.

“She deserves the best fucking girlfriend in the world,” you said, and Steve grimaced a little, and said, “This might not be her,”

“So, friends with benefits it'll be, then,” Eddie chimed in, but immediately chuckled after. “I'm saying that like I get to decide,”

“Can Robin not come out here too for a bit?” you asked.

Steve just shrugged, unsure if he really needed Robin all up in his business about his divorce right now. You and Eddie had been exactly what he needed in the fact that you never brought it up. Pretended it wasn't even happening somewhere in the background of Steve's life, even though it was definitely happening right up in the forefront of it.

“Do we know anyone? Can we set her up?” you asked Eddie, who replied with a shrug as well.

These boys were of no help to you.

“Friends with benefits,” Eddie mused after taking another drag of his cigarette. “If you think about it, Steve is sort of our friend with benefits,”

Eddie was about to say something stupid to embarrass you again, wasn't he?

“Or wait,” Eddie retracted. “We are Steve's friends with benefits,”

Oh, God. You were already groaning.

“But the benefits aren't exactly sexy, he just... gets to stay here,” Eddie laughed, and you sighed a breath of relief. Saw Steve drop tension from his face too.

“Maybe not friends with benefits,” Steve chimed in. “But definitely more than just friends I'd say, no?”

“Steve,” Eddie grabbed Steve's shoulder, clearly ready to make fun of the dumb thing Steve just said, already laughing.

“Like, family, you idiot,” Steve argued, making Eddie's laugh burst and you couldn't help but chuckle at the two of them.

Just two friends in the sun who didn't know how to describe what they really were to each other. It felt sort of endearing.

“It's stupid that more than friends immediately means romantic, doesn't it?” you thought out loud whilst looking at your foot that swirled in the water.

Having a pool in a warm climate was so nice.

You were so blessed and this was one of those moments where you could really feel it in your bones. Sun on your back. Foot in the water. Eddie there. Steve there.

Blessed.

“I'd say we're more than friends,” Eddie agreed.

You looked at Steve who quickly looked away from you, like he'd been caught staring, and said, “Definitely.”

And that had left you feeling a little funny.

Not that you had much time to dwell over it.

“We definitely are more than friends,” Eddie had said pointing a finger straight at you as he got up, and before you knew it, Eddie was flying over you, monster diving into the pool and splashing you where you were sat.

You were just about to scold Eddie for jumping into the water in his clothes when he pulled you in by the foot. You didn't stand a fucking chance, you were in and under within a fraction of a second.

“Get in, Harrington,” Eddie called when you found your feet and came up sputtering.

Before you'd even gotten the hair from your face, Steve's cannon ball splashed a new wave right into your face. You used your hands to splash back, ducked under water and came back up face first, hair all dragged out of your face, and saw Eddie smile and jump to swim away quicker from Steve who seemed ready to fight him on something.

“It's so fun being thirty,” you pointed out dryly, because this was quite honestly ridiculous.

“Thirty-one,” Eddie corrected as he fled towards the other side of the pool from Steve who'd started the chase and fucking hell, yes he was thirty-one, but look at him.

Them.

Look at them.

Chasing each other in a pool in full outfits because one probably said something silly about the other and now it was time for pay back in the form of repeated dunks under water.

Children.

These were little children you were watching.

Fuck, you loved them so much.

Blessed.

You were quick to climb out of the pool, quick to leave the boys to play whilst you slipped inside and left wet clothes by the door before you went to find a towel and a dry outfit to change into.

When you stepped back out with a pile of towels, Eddie called, “No ragrets!” and you huffed a laugh at the confused face Steve gave just before Eddie jumped up and pushed him down and under by the shoulders.

“Okay, I gotta ask,” Steve said after he'd come back up, now swimming towards the edge closest to where you sat down on a lounger.

“You do realise you keep pronouncing regrets wrong, right?”

Eddie made eye-contact with you before he threw his shirt onto the tiles besides the pool which landed with a wet slap.

“You tell the story,” Eddie said, because he didn't know how to tell it without sounding like an arrogant asshole and a huge dumbass at the same time. He pushed off the edge whilst Steve climbed on top.

“So,” you started, unable to hide your smile. This was a fun story. “One time after a gig, you know how sometimes fans wait by stage door? This time, there were maybe eight people, small little group, but one of them was this huge dude. Massive tree trunk of a guy, a real unit, covered in tattoos, head to toe, but he was squealing like a nine year-old girl about to meet The Backstreet Boys,”

“She's not exaggerating,” Eddie called from the other side of the pool, now floating on his back in just his jeans, soaking up the sun. Meanwhile Steve was wringing out his T-shirt before moving to come sit next to you on the lounger, using the other to spread his T-shirt out to let it the sun dry it.

“And he's telling Eddie all about how he loves Corroded Coffin, loves them so much, that he's seen at least seventeen shows, and he asks Eddie to sign his arm,”

“I found the one empty spot between all the tats, just large enough for a signature and a little message,”

“But Eddie's talking, and saying that he must have spent a fortune on concert tickets, and this guy goes, no regrets, man,”

“No regrets!” Eddie shouted, one arm up in the air, making you giggle.

“So Eddie writes, no regrets, signs the arm and that's that... but then, like, three weeks later? Three weeks later Eddie meets this guy at another show and he's gotten it tattooed,”

“Oh no,” Steve caught on. Knew where this was going.

“Yep. He showed Eddie, all proud,”

“Your dyslexic ass, you wrote no ragrets?!” Steve was shocked.

“No ragrets!” Eddie shouted again, louder this time, that same arm punching the air again, making the both of you laugh.

“Now it's a thing.”

With Steve in on the joke now, the conversation naturally went onto other stupid shit Eddie had written in the past. Like when he'd misspelled his own name when he'd tried to do a cool graffiti drawing of it in class that one time. Or when he'd written his own sick note, and the office had called Wayne to verify that Eddie really did have diehareeyah.

Eddie fired back, mentioned stupid shit Steve had done before, like trying to climb out of a window that was right next to an open door to not be caught by Wayne after having secretly smoked weed with Eddie. Or how he'd once fallen asleep at the movies, like he always fucking did, and had tried to roll over like he was in bed and had promptly fallen out of the seat, right onto the floor, where he just continued his slumber.

Or what about you, when you...

Eddie and Steve looked at each other, and Eddie frowned a little.

“When you...” he thought a second longer, then shook his head. “Shit babe... what's something embarrassing you've done?”

“Why can't I think of anything?” Steve had his eyes narrowed at you.

You just smirked.

There was plenty of embarrassing shit you'd done, but you were glad none of it had stuck with them.

“There isn't anything, I'm perfect.” you joked, feigning a casual confident shrug.

You expected them to fight you on it, but instead Eddie said, “She's right.” and you gave him a nose-scrunch which he immediately returned.

What a guy. So sappy.

You loved it.

Steve announced he was also going to get out of his wet clothes, and you were reminded you had just left yours in a wet pile by the door. And so, as Steve went inside to dry off, you went inside to collect wet clothing items for the laundry.

Upstairs, you called for Steve to put whatever clothes he had into the open washing machine, expecting him to do so once you'd left.

Instead, Steve walked out of his room, wet clothes in hand, and his wet underwear practically transparent.

That was his full penis.

Shit.

You pretended not to see. Maybe Steve didn't know he was on show like that.

“Oh, thanks,” you avoided any and all contact as Steve dropped his clothes in and you prepared it for a cycle. Kept your eyes and hands busy with detergent and fabric softener and you expected that by the time you'd have turned the machine on, Steve would be behind the closed door of is bedroom.

But instead, he stayed put beside you.

“Hey, um,”

Oh no.

“Eddie... Eddie told me that you were trying to get pregnant,”

Steve your full dick's out, you thought, but just nodded.

“And that it's not... going well? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable this morning,”

Steve you're making me uncomfortable right now, you though, but just said, “No, don'y worry about it, you're good,”

“I don't know, I felt bad anyway. Can't be easy.”

It wasn't. It was very difficult, in fact.

But talking to Steve who had his own equivalent of a wet T-shirt contest going on right beside you was even more difficult.

You guessed Steve saw you grow more uneasy by the second, saw you avoid any and all contact as you rushed to turn the washing machine on, because what he did next made you freeze on the spot.

“Hey, come here,”

Steve reached a hand, touched your shoulder and turned you towards him before he bent down to hug you.

Steve was stood in a wet pair of boxers that showcased his penis perfectly and hugged you because his best friend wasn't successful at knocking you up.

What the fuck was going on?

You didn't hug back, held your arms straight down by your sides, and Steve mistook it for something else being wrong.

“Oh, honey,” Steve hugged tighter and then, just before he pulled back entirely, he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

That's what you told yourself.

Just a kiss to the cheek.

Friends could kiss friends on the cheek.

Friends kissed friends on the cheek all the time.

You ignored how it touched the corner of your mouth.

You ignored how it lingered there for a little too long, and when Steve broke it, his lips stayed close for a few seconds longer. Too close. Nose nuzzling close.

You ignored how neither of you had pulled away. How the air had suddenly become tense in a different way. How Steve's hold on you suddenly felt electric and on fire and you couldn't help the thick swallow that followed, even though it was just a kiss to your cheek.

Steve loosened his grip, and in a dumb stroke of whatever the fuck came over you, you grabbed his arm and held his in place. Around you. Where you wanted it.

Eye-contact.

Oh no.

This was it.

You couldn't help the way your eyes shot down at Steve's lips, and you knew that Steve noticed. Knew that he must have seen that.

More than friends echoed in your mind. Steve had said that. And you'd agreed.

You moved like you were about to kiss, heads tilting and moving in, but then you stopped. You both stopped.

Good, you thought. Smart.

But your breath shuddered, and then Steve inhaled deeply and softly said, "No regrets," the normal way before he backed away turned and slipped into his room.

Oh fuck.

Shit.

That was it.

Regrets.

Yes regrets.

Future regrets that you could see on the horizon. Staring at you. They were everywhere. Regrets fucking everywhere.

---

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(taglist currently full, sorry)

[wickedgamesfanfic]

Shani

"What makes you think I'm going to be safe here?" I scuffed stepping past him and into his house. 

"Relax. This is just temporary. I gotta make a few calls." He offered closing the door behind him. I watched as he walked over to retrieve an iPad that seemingly controlled the lighting amongst other things. "Besides this is a gated community."

My eyes softly bulged. He couldn't be serious. At this rate we'd both be dead by the end of the week. Niggas like Dani don't care about gates. "Are we talking about the same gates that couldn't keep that bimbo out? Asking for a friend." I rolled my eyes wondering if I had made the right decision by accepting his offer to help me. 

"HaHaHa!" He faked laughed stepping towards me. He snatched the handle of my bag away from my hand and nodded for me to follow him. I giggled to myself knowing I had gotten under his skin. 

"Should we be expecting the lady of the house any time soon?" I asked placing my handbag on the bed of the guest room he had led me to. "Or have hoeing hours been extended." 

"Wowww!" He said causing me to turn towards him in amusement. "I thought we were past this." 

"We are." I offered taking a seat on the bed and crossing my legs. "Almost." I mumbled as he turned away. He quickly turned back toward me.

"What was that?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Oh nothing." I shrugged my shoulders. 

"Listen Lydia is not something you need to worry about. Okay. Let me worry about her." I nodded my head dismissively. Which seemed to be enough for him. I admired his wide shoulders as he headed for the door. He reached the entrance and turned to me again. "Can you fight?" He asked tilting his head. 

"What?"

"What?" He repeated in an almost identical tone. "You know what. Don't worry about it. I got it. I'll figure something else out." He joked pulling the door up behind him. 

"You're not funny!" I yelled behind him. 

"Never said I was!" He yelled back causing me to smile for a moment. Until I realized he had left me alone with my thoughts. 

I shook my head before standing to my feet and grabbing my luggage full of clothes. I rummaged through it aimlessly for a moment. In search of nothing in particular. I came across the one physical photo I had left of my grandmother and took a moment to hold it close to my heart before thanking  her for her guidance. It didn't all make sense right now but I knew she had led me here. And if she saw something in the pretty boy downstairs that could help me then I'd stick around until shown otherwise. 

I pulled out some lounge wear before walking over to my handbag and unzipping it. I rubbed my hand across all the bills that lay just beneath. 

Flash Back

"A book deal." He repeated as if I were speaking some kind of foreign language. "Who the fuck do you think you are? Toni Morrison." He joked before laughing. I rolled my eyes as his loyal band of ignorant followers followed suit. 

"I wouldn't expect any of you guys to understand. Especially seeing as how most of you can barely even fucking read." I grumbled snatching my contract from his hands and storming off to our bedroom. 

I flopped onto the bed barely managing to contain the tears that threatened to fall. 

I hated how he always managed to do this. Why couldn't he just be happy for me for once?

I heard the door open and quickly rose to a sitting position. He slammed the door in anger and I somehow managed to scoot myself up against the head board. "What the fuck was that?" He asked. His words covered in a thick Spanish accent. "Do you think you're funny? Huh?" He gritted climbing onto the bed and making his way over to me. He placed his face directly in front of mine. My breathing became shallow in anticipation. "You're already letting this writing shit get to your head. Aren't you!" He yelled as pieces of spit flew from his mouth and onto my face. "So now you don't wanna talk." He chuckled into his shoulder. "What happened to all that mouth you had just a minute ago? Huh?!" He yelled once more causing me to sink beneath him. 

"Dani I'm ..." I started to apologize before quickly being cut off. 

"Let me guess. You're sorry. Shani I ... " He placed his palm to his forehead as if he were growing even more frustrated. "I'm growing tired of you're apologies." He growled lowering his face into mine. "You begged me to stop hitting you ...  but then you turn around and continue to give me reasons to." His pupils burned holes into mine. "I'm starting to think you actually like the shit. Why else would you continue to try me?" He placed his hand around my neck.

"No!" I yelled just as his grip tightened. I scratched and clawed at his face only to have him quickly move away. The more I fought the harder he squeezed until a certain darkness swept over me. 

Flash Back x2 

I packed my things as my grandmother watched from the door way. 

"Grandma it's going to be okay." I offered as she wiped yet another fallen tear from her eyes. 

"No it's not." She said causing me to stop packing and walk over to her. 

"Dani loves me. Can't you see that?" I asked placing my hands on her shoulders. 

"Girl that boy can only love you as much as you love yourself." She said growing frustrated." If he really loved you he'd support you going off to college to pursue your writing. He wouldn't have guilt tripped you into to staying here with his rotten ass." 

"It's not like that." I shrugged dismissing her words. She was so used to having me up under her that the thought of me loving someone else seemed to scare her. 

"Just promise me this." She said grabbing my shoulders. I allowed my eyes to fall to the floor. "Promise me that no matter what bullshit he pumps into your head that you won't let your dreams die in vein."

"Grandma." I whined.

"Grandma my ass." She huffed. "I've spent my better years looking after you. Attempting to right my wrongs and give you the life I should have given your father." She admitted as her voice cracked. "Break this curse." She begged wrapping her hands around my face. 

"What curse grandma?" I asked shaking my head. 

End of Flash back x2 

I awoke half dressed and dazed. My eyes scanned over the room and I quickly realized Dani wasn't home. I sighed in relief before pulling the covers over my chest. I closed my eyes and tried once again to remember the conversation my grandmother and I had the night I left. 

What was she trying to tell me? What had I missed? What curse? 

I groaned before throwing the sheets away. I sat at the edge of the bed and placed my head into my hands. "What curse?!" I yelled into the air. 

My phone began to ring on the night stand. I stared at it for a moment. Before hesitantly grabbing it as if it were my dead grandmother calling from the other side. "Hello." I said finally answering it. 

"Well it's about time you answered one of these damn numbers I've been calling you from." Imena chimed into the phone catching me off guard. 

"Imena ... Hi." I gushed. Not really sure of how to react. 

"Hey there big time!" She gushed. "I heard you got a book deal." She chimed into the phone almost child like. 

"Yeah ... Wait how did you ..." I started shaking my head. 

"Never mind that silly." She seemed so light hearted and free. A long cry from the girl I had grew up with. "You've got to fly out here. You can stay with me until you get on your feet." 

"Don't be silly." I said dismissively before standing to my feet and heading over to our walk in closest. I rummaged through my clothes as she continued to speak. 

"I'm sooo serious. Girl you got next." She said making me roll my eyes. Maybe Dani was right. Hollywood was just full of Holly-weirdos. 

"I can't afford that." I shrugged pushing through my clothes. "Besides it's just in writing. Doesn't mean anything until it's in dollar bills." I laughed pushing aside all of Dani's clothes that threatened to touch mine. Causing a few wads of hundreds to fall onto the floor just beside me. 

I took them into my hand before realizing that he had went into his safe at some point and neglected to close it. "Generational Curses!" A voice boomed from no where almost knocking me on my ass. I looked around as if caught before realizing it was my own mind playing tricks on me. "What's your address?" I asked surprising even myself. 

End of flash back

"I brought you some clean towels." He said barging into the room and scarring the shit out of me. 

I quickly attempted to close my bag. Only to have him step over to me. "Damn." He said swatting my hand away. "Damn." 

A/N 

I'm posting this as is tonight. Probably a shit load of editing to do as well as explaining but hoewell

Regardless this chapter is very important to the story line. 

Questions/Comments/Concerns

Thanks for reading 

No really 

Thank you

[jossambird]

Indecently Fated, P1

Papa Emeritus IV x F!Reader

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: mentions/fantasizing of 18+ acts, Fate, Satanic praying, Desperately touch-starved Ratman.

AO3 LINK

Summary: Fate works in mysterious ways.

For you, you had never believed in such a silly thing.

But for Copia? Oh, it should have come as no surprise what he’d done, what any man in his position would have most likely also done: he had prayed to his Unholy God.

Indecently Fated, Chapter 1

It’s funny how fate works. Well, you didn’t really believe in fate per se but you believed in… something.

It had started with your friend telling you of a new band she was obsessed with, talking your ear off for hours on end about its band members, all the ins and outs, its lore, who she liked, who she found boring. You remember being surprised at how creative and incredibly well thought out it all was. It also didn’t help your mounting fascination that nobody knew who these people really were in their real day to day lives, adding to the mysteriousness of it all.

And now, as you stood at a Ghost Ritual, accompanied by the same friend, anticipation burned hotly in your veins. You couldn’t believe how lucky the both of you had been to get front row seats, remembering just how loudly the both of you had screamed while ordering tickets… followed by more panicked but excited screaming, wondering what type of indecently tight pants Papa Emeritus IV would wear literally infront of your faces. Immediately were you dragged back to the present and away from your thoughts, said friend gripping at your hand in excitement.

“I hope he wears those tattered pants I saw him wearing in some GIF’s online! Gone are the frumpy robes and in are the tight crotch pants!” She whispered excitedly from her seat beside you, eyes wide as she took it all in.

You simply grinned back at her and nodded, not wanting to correct her for what could be considered the 100th time that no, they were not called ‘robes’. Too many times had the both of you gone down this road: she was not a fan of the Cardinal Copia character. Too awkward, she said, too cringey. You couldn’t have disagreed more.

You almost found yourself laughing out loud, thinking of how cutely pathetic he was in all the Chapters videos the band had posted online.

-

Your friend, sadly, had been right; he was infact wearing the tattered pants she squealed about. It was almost impossible not to imagine yourself on your knees, ripping the cords open to taste him but you succeeded in keeping a straight enough face, watching the mysterious man before you strut up and down the walkway as he sang. Unashamed, your thighs squeezed together, feeling your core burn in want.

Within the first few songs, too many times did you find your gaze drifting back down, watching as the fabric of his pants flexed with each movement of his hips. It felt far too indecent, far too-

‘Sinful, wearing such clothes… Wouldn’t you agree?’

You blinked, eyebrows furrowing as you registered the words uttered to your right, turning to reply to whoever- …. the spot beside you was empty, just as it had been earlier... Processing the information took a second longer then normal, your brain stopping itself to comment on just how real that thought had felt before continuing to ogle the man upon stage.

Try as you might to listen to Papa perform Mummy Dust, you could barely pay attention to anything other than the torrent of desire burning hotter within you, imagining instead that it was you who he rocked his hips into, strong hands gripping at your waist as he murmured words of undying devotion against your back. Oh how you wished to be able to touch yourself right now, your core damp as you continued to watch the man above you thrust into the air once more.

Briefly, you mused that you mustn’t have realized just how sexually starved you had been these last days.

A chuckle rang out from behind you, abit too close for comfort but you remained still, brushing it off perhaps to be from a man reaching down for something on the floor.

‘I wonder how easy it would be to sneak into his changing rooms...’

Automatically did you roll your eyes at the intrusive thought, wondering passively how much of a depraved pervert you would have to be to sneak into a star’s changing rooms like a crazed groupie.

‘Are changing rooms usually guarded? Nah, they probably lock the doors after leaving to perform, right? Either way, a guy like him probably has plenty-’

Whatever dumb thought you had begun to think disappeared in the blind of an eye as your mind conjured up a series of sensations so real you almost cried out in fear: a phantom hand softly yet firmly gripped at your chin, tilting your head up just enough, forcing you to watch Papa Emeritus IV give one final harsh thrust into the air, your core throbbing emptily at the sight.

You stood abruptly, clumsily bending down immediately as to not hide the magnificent view onstage from the people behind you and made your way hurriedly up the walkway, ignoring the whispered call of your name by your friend.

Immobile, you stood in the silent entrance, faintly hearing music behind you. No matter how badly you tried to forget the ghostly touch, you could not erase the image that had flashed into your minds eye it had conjured up: the Cardinal above you, dissimilar eyes magnetic as he fucked you, gloved hands gripping your hips. You could practically still hear his voice in your mind, hear the accent low and rough as he’d asked for your name, whispering it over and over again like one would do while worshipping their God.

Fuck, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had masturbated; had it truly been so long that simply being in the presence of a man you craved allowed your mind to create such realistic touches? What you would do to REALLY be in his changing room once the show was done..

No, no no, you couldn’t possibly be thinking seriously about sneaking into his changing room, no matter how depraved you felt. Slowly, you breathed in, eyes closed, willing your erratic heart to calm.

You wrestled with the idea for less then a second, nodding as you agreed; okay, yes, ONE look would surely satisfy this need you felt. One look would bring you back to Earth, reminding you just how stupid you really were. Yes, exactly.

In no time did you find the private hallways leading to the back, heels clicking clumsily against the tiles as you advanced slowly. Voices rang out from farther down the hallway, alerting you that no, you were not alone. The cacophony of noise most likely belonged to the oblivious gang of ghouls clearly guarding their lead singer’s room from weird little creeps like you who would try to break in.

Although sweat rolled down the back of your neck out of nervousness, you found yourself sighing out in disappointment, hating that you had actually grown wetter at the thought of surprising him with a post-concert blowjob.

You feigned acceptance, body vibrating in disappointed defeat and walked back into the main entrance, straining your ear to hear what song was now being played.

Perhaps some cold fresh air against your skin would help extinguish the fire within you, right? You admit that you had favoured fashion over usefulness when picking your attire for tonight but you hadn’t anticipated just how chilly it would become. Darn, now you were really regretting having fled from your seat. You still couldn’t believe how stupid you had been, thinking a ghost had touched you.

As you continued to walk out, you payed little to no mind to the people around you, choosing instead to look at all the varying banners of the band, eyes drawn to an upclose shot of Papa Emeritus IV’s face. Beautiful was the first word that came to mind-

A figure appeared to your right, startling you from your inner thoughts.

“Oh Jesus Christ!” You cried out, moving away quickly from whoever had just snuck up beside you like a stalker if the night. Whoever it was had a deep laugh, laughing out as you tried to adjust your eyesight and see who it was that had scared you.

“Wrong, sweetcheeks. Pardon me for scaring you.” They replied back, sounding entirely too amused to actually be sorry. They remained where they were, half in the shadows and half under the moon’s light.

“Y-yeah, no worries.” The words easily rolled off your tongue, deciding that no, no matter how stupidly horny you felt, you would be returning to your seat instead of lingering outside like this. Atleast inside you would be warm.

“They are playing inside, you know.” The man said, a gloved thumb pointing back to the banner you had been staring at moments ago. Ah- The man was most likely a guard of the venue, thinking perhaps you were a fan of the band.

“Oh, yes, thank you, I know! I actually have tickets! Here, one second.” You searched your person for them, finding them quickly and handing them to the shadowed guard, wondering instead if the man had wanted to check that you weren’t loitering the premises.

A few seconds passed by in frozen silence, as if the stranger was confused by your actions.

“If you do not mind me asking, what are you doing out here then, when everyone is inside, listening to Papa?”

Finally, as if the universe sought to humiliate you more, the figure advanced out of the shadows and under the light, face hidden by an all-too-familiar mask. The Ghoul silently waited for your reply, not seeming too bothered by your dumbfounded stare. You had never seen a Ghoul this close before, eyes scanning the man’s costume.

“I-I had to use the bathroom and got lost.” You fibbed, knowing just how weak of a lie it was… given that you were outside, where no bathrooms were.

“Near Papa’s bus?” The Ghoul grinned, words chilling you as you finally took in where you had wandered off to. Fuck, how hadn’t you noticed how far you’d walked? Just how had you even walked this far?

“Ah- no, I hadnt even- I wasnt- I had been looking for his changing rooms-“ You hurriedly stuttered before slapping a hand to your mouth, horrified that you had just told the Ghoul what you’d been previously looking for. There went the possibility of not looking like a stalker.

“Oh, Papa’s changing room, you mean? And why is that?” You couldn’t see the man’s eyes but you could hear the amusement in his voice, it was plain to see just how much your embarrassment delighted him.

Pure humiliation clawed at your skin, so taken aback by the fact that you’d freely said such a thing that you blurted the first words to cross your mind, mortifying you further:

“I wanted to suck Papa’s dick.”

It was silent for too long of a second before the Ghoul, visibly surprised by your outburst, laughed out loud, head tilted back as he held a hand against his hip, exasperated by this little groupie’s words. He could hardly be surprised though; who wouldn’t see a man like Papa and not want to gain his attention by providing an act of sin? But honestly, to sneak into Papa’s bus and suck him off? How ridi-

Abruptly the Ghoul stopped, pointed ears catching a low sound as a violent gust of wind blew past the two of you, dissipating just as quickly as it came.

You reeled back, hands clutching at your exposed shoulders in an attempt to ward off the freezing cold wind. Looking back to the band member, you prepared yourself, ready to apologize for your foolish words… but you uttered none.

The air between the both of you somehow felt different, as if the Ghoul now regarded you with.. understanding, instead of continuing to laugh at you. Perhaps even a hint of regret. He remained there, silently watching you long enough for anxiety to pin prick at your brain-

“Forgive me for my rudeness, I did not know that- Uh, that can be arranged.”

You couldn’t help but feel as though the Ghoul had mistaken you for someone else, the sudden change of power destabilizing you. You could only assume it was out of pity that he was now playing along with your confession, most likely feeling bad for having laughed so hard.. right? Of course, he was probably bored out of his mind, guarding the buses like this in the cold.

Your confused silence seemed to unnerve him, a dark bisected tongue peaking out from between his lips. Just how far into this whole ‘ghoul’ bit did they go?

“Y-You may go inside and wait, Im sure it must be cold for a human like you.” He hurriedly commented as if a lightbulb had lit within his mind, turning to unlock the bus door before moving away. Wow, ‘human’? He was really sticking to the bit.

Words meant to decline said offer had barely begun to leave your lips before the Ghoul tensed, hand flying to what you could only assume was his earpiece. Faintly could you hear the crackle of words from the device, silence surrounding the both of you as his focus remained entirely on the conversation being had.

A few more moments passed until he exhaled, hand retreating back to his side, a bizarre air of comprehension surrounding him.

“Is everything alright?” You decided to ask, wondering if perhaps he had just realized that no, you weren’t the big important person he had thought you to be.

“I must go, something has happened. But please, do not hesitate to go sit inside, He will not be happy with me if He thought I left you outside.” He quickly spoke, and with all of the gentleness in the world, the costumed man pushed you softly towards to opened bus door, flashing you a thumbs up before running towards the building.

Another cold breeze was all that it took to convince you to accept the Ghouls offer, stepping within the beautiful tour bus. Gosh, you’d never seen such a thing in person, eyes trailing over the beautiful interior. You’d almost forgotten who’s bus this was, heart palpitating out of your chest as you silently took in each and every intricacy that made this living space Papa Emeritus IV’s place.

Books were strewn left and right, as if they had falling from whatever stack he had placed them in, papers littering the floor around them. No… he had been working, you remarked, eyes gliding over to the small table, a grin rising to your lips at the sight of an opened inkwell and quill. Of course he was the type of man to use quills and ink, you thought, laughing. Carefully you bent over, fingers brushing softly against a book before picking it up, putting yourself to work to atleast try and repay the kindness of letting you remain here in the heat as you waited for the ghoul’s return.

You paused midway, eyes flittering back towards the closed tour bus door. Wait… had the ghoul really just left you with the job of watching their lead singer’s bus?!

As if this whole situation was not bizarre enough already, you were hardly surprised as you watched the bus’s electricity suddenly shut off, leaving you in almost complete darkness except for what little amount of artificial light of the venue streamed in before also watching that last source of light disappear.

Fuck, why had you fled your seat?

.

..

.

Copia knew that accidents on stage were inevitable, it was to be expected that not everything could always go right. But something such as this? For the whole entire venue to lose electricity? If he were a lesser man, he would blame it on the weather, perhaps even a power outage, but what of the fact that none of the venue’s backup generators worked either?

A feeling he couldn’t quite put his finger on crawled up along his spine, chilling him as if something were trying to gain his attention, something-

“Papa, are you alright?” Came Sodo’s calm voice to his left, the sound of loud chatter within the venue almost drowning him out.

“Sí sí, I am alright. Is everyone okay?” He still asked, despite now being able to make out each of his Ghouls forms thanks to various cellphone lights illuminating the area.

“Yes, everyone is okay, the electricity seems to have only gone out.” The Ghoul replied before moving away towards the front of the stage with the other Ghouls, attempting to help placate the crowd of uneasy people. Ah, he should be doing that as well, maybe a joke or two could-

“Papa!” A frantic voice called over the noise, disrupting said man’s thoughts.

He turned, eyes falling onto the Ghoul in charge of guarding the buses, noticing how visibly emotional the creature was. It had never been abnormal for creatures of Lucifer to learn human emotions; infact, it was quite common for them to adopt such things, adapting to the world around them like sponges. Some succeeded more than others of course, some never truly understanding what certain emotions felt like, mimicking them instead to the best of their abilities. Humming absentmindedly, he nodded, preparing to ask what was wrong before being cut off.

“There is someone that wants to talk to you outside, it’s important!” The Ghoul panted, breathing as if it had just run the whole way here to inform him.

“Ah, it is one of the venue people?” The dissimilar eyed man asked, not knowing who else it would be at a time like this, wondering if perhaps they had an update on what was going. Perhaps it had truly been the weather-

“No Papa, more important than that!” Came the urgent and loud reply of the Ghoul, attracting the attention of the other Ghouls surrounding them. All could see it almost vibrating were it stood, eyes wild under its mask.

Copia felt shocked at it’s words; what could be more important than the stalled Ritual and Ritual-goers? Doubt at the Ghoul’s words settled within the lead singer’s breast, mind reeling for an answer. Too many times had he found himself to be the target of said Ghoul’s pranks in the past, so much so that the Ghoul had permanently been placed on Bus Guarding duty until the end of the tour. Was this simply another prank, timed at the worst of moments?

Hesitation flared within Copia, mismatched eyes turning back to the multiple technicians attempting to turn everything back on- No, that was right, he had a duty to perform as Papa, he had to calm the crowd-

A cold hand settled itself upon his bare skin, pressing lightly before roughly pushing him forward, shocking him silent, thoughts evaporating as he turned to confront whoever- there was no one, the space that he had occupied only seconds ago was empty.

Heavy static filled Copia’s ears, eyes flittering left and right as he tried to understand how such a thing could be possible. He was wearing a coat and a top underneath it, how had he felt- how could such a thing-

Realization settled within him like a stone sinking into the sea, the sounds of the crowd around them entirely fading away. No, it couldn’t be what he thought it was. That would be.. No, such an act would be unparalleled- wouldn’t it?

Heart frantically beating, he knew what he must do: no matter what doubt remained within him, Copia knew he had to go, knew he had to atleast go see, desperation building within him. Yes, he had to confirm it wasn’t a prank and was truly-

Part 2

[acheemient]

So... I'm sorry for what is about to happen.

bent to the very earth by Ark:

Use me, please, Crowley had said, so Aziraphale takes him at his word.

the yet unknowing world by Ark

A half-step is all it takes to get Aziraphale close enough to murmur into Crowley’s ear, “Put the light out when you go to bed, and I’ll come to you.”

these furious passions, these chances by Ark (there may be a pattern here) - This is one of my favorite stories in the entire fandom. If you have not read it, do so IMMEDIATELY!

Jesus fucking Christ, he’s in love with Crowley.

Find Me There (Amongst Your Ruins) by hollybennett123

“Good heavens,” Aziraphale tuts. “Carnal temptations and a vulgar mouth. Whatever will I do with you, my dear?”

Crowley’s mouth opens, but no words come forth. “Absolutely anything you like,” he rasps at length, blinking up at Aziraphale in a wonderstruck sort of way.

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking by for_autumn_i_am (one of my very favorites. It's extremely in character and fun and even charming! Also hot!)

It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.

The Angel of My Dreams by IneffableToreshi

Crowley is blissfully unaware that he sometimes talks in his sleep. Aziraphale doesn't bother to bring it up until one night when the demon falls asleep in the bookshop and says some rather...interesting things.

Strange Flesh and All That by FortinbrasFTW

Crowley laughs. He can’t help it. And the wine is very good.

“What’s funny?” Aziraphale asks.

“Are you joking?” Crowley tilts his head to look at him over his glasses. “No, nothing at all, this is all perfectly normal. Very dull conversation really.”

Aziraphale smiles back. “What’s funnier, dear boy? That I’ve considered it or that you haven’t?”

Well Versed in Wanting by hollybennett123

Aziraphale has never met anyone else who can so eloquently convey the embodiment of a nonchalant shrug with a quirk of their mouth alone, but Crowley succeeds in doing just that before getting up and sauntering off into the sitting room. Goodness, the sway of his hips when he walks is so unnecessary. A distraction that frankly shouldn’t be allowed.

He lasts thirty-seven minutes before rescheduling their ‘evening’ appointment to ‘imminent’ and informing Crowley there’s been a change of plan.

(or: Crowley stumbles upon Aziraphale’s private book collection, and revelations are had of the non-biblical kind)

For the Longest Time by darlingred1 (locked)

“You…” Aziraphale sounded baffled, and suddenly quite sober. “You liked that? But, my dear, you said it was torturous. ‘Six thousand years of torture,’ as I recall.”

“Yeah. Yeah, but the anticipation, and the yearning, and…and how every moment with you was so maddeningly intense, and…”

And what else could Crowley say? How could he expect Aziraphale to understand that after six thousand years of torture he’d actually got a bit used to it? That he’d felt like a band strained further and further, and now he found himself permanently stretched, flopping about with too much slack and no way to hold on to what he’d been reaching towards for so long?

(Crowley kind of misses the pining when it's gone. Aziraphale comes up with a solution.)

let the rivers fill by focusfixated

Weakly, Crowley’s eyes flickered down, and he saw the angel blushing, as if now, suddenly, of all things, he had succumbed to reticence. He was sat back on his knees, and the soft accordion folds of him were dewy with sweat and moonlight.

Or: as in all things, Aziraphale indulges.

Can You Feel the Love Tonight? by snae_b

A bench. A handshake. Lingering fingers. A little shiver and an angel and a demon are returned to their proper bodies.

And that’s about where all hell broke loose. Metaphorically speaking, that is. Hell has, of course, been loose for quite some time.

"Just, you know…” Uncontrollable horniness? An erection you should probably consult a doctor about? “…feelings?"

"You don't, you know. Have any... after effects? From the swapping thing?"

"What kind of after effects?"

Crowley has some residual effects from his body swap with Aziraphale. Some very distracting residual effects.

Angelic Doesn't Mean Innocent by strummerjoe

“What do you think about sex?” Aziraphale asked.

Crowley almost choked on his wine. In 6000 years of knowing each other, they’d never had THIS conversation

puttin’ on the ritz by moonyinpisces

Must he spell it out for him? “You could…” Aziraphale looks him up and down, then cocks his head towards the poncy fellow up on the balcony, raising his brows pointedly. “You know.”

Possess him? Crowley frowns and asks, “You think so?”

Aziraphale nods, eyes wide. The visual alone has instantly vaporized any alcohol content in his body.

“I—well.” Crowley considers it, then winces. “I haven’t actually poked inside someone since… oh, gotta be 71, I think. Antoine Gay. Bollocksed that one up.”

Aziraphale blinks, taken aback. In his (admittedly frequent) imaginings of Crowley in bed, he never envisioned him as the ‘poker’, necessarily. He seemed like he’d much rather enjoy getting poked instead. Repeatedly. Passionately. Perhaps up against an opulent pillar.

A Kind of Magic by equestrianstatue

The first time it happened was an accident. No, honestly. It really was.

Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau and summerofspock (Human AU, but Jesus Christ, I had to include it!)

Aziraphale and Crowley have lived together for three years when lockdown goes into effect. When Aziraphale meets a nice girl on Tinder who he thinks is his perfect match, he's delighted. There's just one hurdle: that pesky virginity thing. Lucky for him, Crowley has always been there for him. He's helped Aziraphale with every other problem through the years, why not this one?

Earthly Pleasures by AstroGirl

Aziraphale has always thought that human sex looks like a great deal of fun. Perhaps now it's something he and Crowley can enjoy together.

Let Sleeping Demons Lie by chamyl and entanglednow (I'm gonna flag this one as dubious consent due to lack of communication and misunderstandings, so take heed)

The demon makes a long, pained noise, and Aziraphale makes his decision. He sinks hurriedly to his knees beside the sofa, oddly reluctant to move his hand from the well-loved, rarely touched warmth of Crowley's skin. But, if he’s going to do this, he needs his full concentration for it, he doesn't want to risk becoming distracted.

After an evening spent drinking together, Aziraphale is disturbed to realise that Crowley cannot be woken up from his nap.

He'll need to make a decision about how far he's willing to go to retrieve his best friend.

circumstance will decide by sabinelagrande

Crowley can resist anything but temptation. Aziraphale's temptation, to be specific.

Victori Spolia by chamyl and entanglednow

“You’re the nice one, obviously. You’re the one I’m supposed to menace, as a demon. You’re the one that’s supposed to be about peace and love and - and - heart-warming stories of animal friendship.”

“I believe I’m also the one that’s supposed to thwart your wiles, and I did a fine job of it too.”

“Yes, but we’re adversaries, aren’t we? Duality of nature and all that, opposite sides. I figure one of us has to be the predator. I know you’ve seen Hell, wouldn’t last there long if you were prey, angel.”

In which Aziraphale and Crowley try to settle an argument.

Come-Fuck-Me Hips by AgentStannerShipper

Crowley has had a fantasy about Aziraphale for centuries now. Too bad the angel would never take him up on it.

Except, as it turns out, he absolutely would.

Aaaand I'm done! Please heed all tags and warnings posted. Give kudos, and leave comments for all these lovely artists who didn't have to share their writing with us but do so for free. They are the backbone of fandom and deserve to be celebrated!

Okay, byeeee!

you can't find any good azcrow smut?? in THIS fandom???? do you want recs

Yes pleaseee I need recs🥲 im too dumb somehow to find the good stuff 🤣

[itsonlydana]

hi!! i absolutely love ur writing and i was wondering if i could request a platonic jschlatt x reader maybe where the reader is his younger sister or sibling (whatever u like) and they bring home a boyfriend and schlatt is all protective and stuff especially if the boyfriend was mean or something (ik it’s kinda cheesy but i feel like schlatt would be a great older brother)

"Your new boyfriend is an asshole" ➷jschlatt

♬brother - mighty oaks

➛ pairing: cc!jschlatt x fem!reader (platonic/family dynamic)

➛ tags/warning: none, fluff, shitty bf

➛ a/n: i totally see schlatt as the protective older brother and its not cheesy at all :D its something i never wrote before so i hope you like it! :) about the song: its a german band i was supposed to see live in the beginning of this summer but they had to cancel. I really love their music

"Please, it's gonna be fine"

"What if he-"

"Marc, he won't do anything!", you repeated, this time a little sharper, so that your boyfriend wouldn't get the idea of saying "but what if" again.

"What if" had become his two favorite words since you suggested to visit your brother Schlatt and had dampened your anticipation of seeing Schlatt again a bit. You used to meet up regularly, he had always made time in his calendar and also rescheduled appointments when you dropped by at short notice, but the last few months the contact had been sporadic, mostly because of your new relationship with Marc.

But now you had finally been able to make time to visit Schlatt.

"But (y/n)-," Marc started again when the door opened in front of you and you only managed to give your boyfriend a warning look before you were pulled into a hug by Schlatt.

"Heyy kiddo!" Schlatt pressed a kiss to your hairline as you melted into his embrace, breathing in the scent of his sweater he had pressed you into. A laugh escaped you as he took your face in his hands and shifted it back and forth before nodding. "You still look twelve," he noted, and you punched him gently in the side.

"You look like one of those men on magazines who give other men shitty inspirations for life," you laughed, pointing to his hair tied up in a man bun and then to his workout pants and red sweater "and on the bottom like the unemployed retiree next door."

Schlatt looked down at himself, clicking his tongue indignantly. "I wouldn't call myself unemployed, I earned our dinner for today with my hard work." He ran his hand through your hair before his gaze fell on Marc, who had been standing quietly behind you and now held out his hand stiffly.

With a grin Schlatt shook his hand, apparently a little harder, because Marc contorted his face painfully but wanted to keep smiling and it ended in a generally very funny grimace.

"So you're Marco.", Schlatt spoke down to him, deliberately with a matter-of-factness at the wrong name and you knew the afternoon wouldn't be an easy one.

After a request from you to be nicer to Marc, Schlatt managed to hold back on his jokes, instead, it was Marc who had a completely different way about him.

He ignored you completely, glued to Schlatt and pestered him with questions about his channel, his friends, his podcast, any conversation you wanted to start he immediately interrupted with harsh words that made you sink in your chair. Marc had never really raised his voice to you or ever treated you other than well, yet he made sure that you couldn't even tell a single thing.

The fact that you were becoming more and more introverted and losing your appetite was not lost on Schlatt, who sat across from you and tightened his jaw every time Marc talked you down and treated you like a little kid interrupting the adults having a serious conversation.

The last straw was when Marc made a joke about how annoying you could get when you wanted attention and asked if you had always been this way.

The question had just left Marc's mouth when Schlatt dropped his cutlery clattering on the table, pushing his chair back in a loud manner. You looked at him questioningly, but he just stared emotionlessly at Marc next to you.

"I think it's better if you leave," he spoke in a calm voice and your eyes shot open in wonder. Marc turned from Schlatt to you, but you dodge his gaze. "I'm serious you asshole, you don't deserve to be with my sister a moment longer if all you wanted was to get to know me and disrespect her," Schlatt added, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Marc, go.", you ordered the young man, who was suddenly more of a stranger to you than when you had met him, or perhaps you had never really known him at all.

There was childish defiance in his face as Marc got up from his chair and stood up in front of Schlatt.

Stood up wasn't really the truth, Schlatt was clearly taller and with his folded arms and pissed off expression Marc just looked pathetic, any attraction to him was gone.

No sooner had the door slammed shut behind your now ex-boyfriend, slammed shut by Marc himself, because neither of you had bothered to accompany him into the hallway, you had gotten up and dropped onto Schlatt's couch, a pillow pressed in front of your stomach as you stared disappointedly into nothing.

Without saying a word, Schlatt sat down next to you, putting an arm around you so you could hide your face in the crook of his neck like you used to do when you were kids and when the world became sometimes too much. Gently he began to stroke through your hair, untangling little knots that had been created by playing with the ends of your hair.

"I should have realized right away that he was a fan," you sighed, less disappointed that you were now single, but more disappointed that you had missed so much time with Schlatt because of this guy.

"Kiddo, it wasn't your fault, people like that are good at hiding their real motives. He was an asshole, I'm sorry.", he comforted you and stroked your hair out of your face.

You looked to him, lips pressed together but the corners of your mouth twitched into a grin.

"How much did you enjoy kicking him out of your house?" you asked him, and he laughed, wrapping his arms tighter around you and dropping onto his back, pulling you with him.

"It's the coolest thing I've ever done."

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Deliverance Chapter Three

Masterlist

Summary: That time has come to sort through the artefacts that have been sent to earth with you, and Clark finds he is less and less impressed with how krypton was governed.

Warnings: Suggestive themes, Fluff,Angst, A/B/O, Mating mentioned, Heats mentioned, Swearing

Wordcount: 14000+

A/N; so this chapter is mostly information and backstory. I rewrote kryptons history becuase... I wanted to? Yeah any way i hope you all enjoy even it it drags.

Taglist: in reblogs

The days that followed were strange, you had gotten used to earth and its strangeness. You were also spending as much time outside as you could, soaking up the sun rays and laying in the grass, sometimes walking through the fields. Martha even had you helping her with some flowerbeds 'weeding' humans were funny creatures. The white and pink flowers were acceptable but the little fluffy yellow ones and tiny blue ones were not? They were 'weeds' and had to be pulled from the ground. Martha had given you a strange look when you asked to keep them but got you a little trough all the same and helped you plant your weeds. They lived on your windowsill and you watered them every morning. Clark found it cute and even added some to it wanting to help.

You felt much better now and your breathing had settled. It was bliss residing with your alpha. You'd learned that he had a job as a reporter- a news writer. Those things weren't really mentioned at home which surprized you when you realised just how important they were and how much time it took up. And speaking of importance, you got your papers! Your official human documentation. A certificate of birth, because humans rewarded their young with paper on their birth you found it funny but your new family had been adamant you were given this reward for being birthed. You also got a number for social security recognition, a schooling achievement diploma? And a passport? So you could fly? Which didn't make much sense to you when you could do that anyway... Or would be able to once you were completely acclimatised to this planet. It had been Clark's friends- A bat who arranged it all, which was nice... If not odd you thought a bat was a winged mammal but perhaps there was a different bat hybrid you wasn't aware of. You were now unofficially, official in your human life.

When Clark was away you missed him, but didn't? Martha kept you busy, filling in the holes of your earthly education. You found her to be a sweet and funny woman, she was wholesome and kind. Never once shying away from you like you had expected. You lived with her for the moment a spare room in the farm house had been converted for you. For some reason she would not let you stay in the same room as your mate, she said it was a human thing. Not that, it stopped Clark from sneaking in at night and curling up in the bed with you soothing you and kissing you. He would always chuckle with you stating 'he wasn't human so its okay' whilst snuggling you sweetly scenting and murring at you until you fell asleep. You never felt safer then in the arms of your alpha, snuggling tight against him pressing kisses to his chest and rubbing your cheek on the curls that covered it, digging your nose into them and sniffing, breathing him in falling asleep.

Your bond was growing stronger and stronger as the days past, even if you only managed a few hours at night and in the morning with him. Clark had to explain some strange things, for some reason you were both to wear a ring? When humans found their mates they gave each other rings and wore them on the left ring fingers it meant they were mates? Married? Martha had been a little upset over it at first but Clark said it was best to do it this way, you could have your wedding later, for now he will wait. Martha had been persistent but in the end gave up, it was hard for her to face the reality that her son was not human and he was trying his best.

You were happier then you thought you'd be on a alien world, you'd acclimatised for the most part and found your own earthling way. Even if Martha and Clark found it strange you refused to eat anything brown or plain. Or meat.

The concept of eating animals was very disturbing for you. On krypton animals were not eaten, well not animals like on earth. Kryptonian's ate what earthlings would call insects, non sentient beings. But then again the insects here were... Tiny, surprizingly so. But Clark had taken it in his stride, if you didn't want to eat meat he wasn't going to force you... But he made you eat lots of what he called your 'leafy greens'... Which didn't make sense to you because many of the leafy greens should just be called greens because brocca-broccile- baby trees! Didn't have leaves neither did the little green balls! P's? You think he called them p's. Just when you began to loose hope for delicious sustenance he surprized you. Mangoes. You loved mangoes and grapes and apples! Fruit any fruit. Martha and your mate had taken you to a human grocery store and you'd been drawn to the fruit section.

You walked into the store clutching at Clark's arm terrified, it was the first time being out and mingling with other humans. Once inside you looked about seeing a few humans scattered about the isles and relaxed. A wave of smells hit your senses making you cough.

"Breath, breath through it love... That's it good girl, good omega. Now hold on to me or the cart and stay with ma and me" Clark said rubbing your back leading you behind Martha walking past some special buys. After a few short minuets you relaxed and released Clark looking watching as the other humans walked about some with children some teenagers and even a few alone. The children drew your attention. Boys. Real little boys. Flesh and blood male children in little hats and shorts- clothing with cartoon race cars on them. You froze looking in awe. Felt the stutter.

"love?" he asked feeling you halt and tense. He instantly looked up and was on alert every bone in his body itching to protect you. To destroy what had spooked his tiny mate. He looked around for the danger but there was none, just a mother and her sons further down the isle.

"Look... Boys, young boys" you uttered slowly looking to the children holding a brightly coloured packet up to what you presumed was his mother pleading for the packet. The woman smiled and nodded letting them throw the packet into the cart and they continued down the isle.

"Yes love. I forget you've never seen a young boy have you" he hummed wrapping his arms around you from behind kissing the top of your head. You melted into him and shook your head still watching as the humans rounded the corner at the end of the shop.

"what do you think?" Clark whispered sweetly, amused and struck by the way you'd reacted to such a simple sight. A mother and sons, he forgot you'd never seen a boy before. He had been the last one on krypton.

"They... He was beautiful." you uttered slowly blinking still registering the image of a real live breathing male child.

"Ours will be better~ perfectly formed kryptonians a whole swarm" he said making you feel light and carefree, the thought of a litter- a true litter of your own pups made you quiver in anticipation.

"You-you'll give me pups?" you said softly trembling from head to toe. Clark hadn't made any inclination to wanting pups or to take your bond any further then the sweet caresses and cuddles he'd been gifting you. You'd not once spoke of anything beyond getting you settled into human life. Clark grinned awkwardly and nodded, he wasn't used to children being called pups and such, he was still coming to terms with the? Miscommunication between worlds and terminology.

"I will try my hardest, sons and daughters" he chuckled squeezing you tightly and pressed a long kiss to your head nuzzling your hair watching as the family disappeared. His heart swelled. A family, a real family. Children of his own in your little belly, with out fear of them being too much for you to handle. He could relax knowing you could handle their tiny kicks and nudges. You could survive a pregnancy and birth him healthy full term children. He had so many niggling little fears over trying to create himself a family with a human. Humans were weak, fragile, but with you? With you he could be exactly what he was. A kryptonian. A god among men. It was refreshing having someone he could truly relax around.

"Promise?" Came the tiny voice, breathless and pleading, huge doe like eyes blinking at him hopefully glazed in tears. He could feel the tremors through your bond, like someone twanging an elastic band, the vibrations of relief and excitement reaching him, tugging and pulling. It was as if you had feared he wouldn't give you children. And finally he had confirmed it.

"I promise little omega, as soon as I'm able you will be round and heavy~" watching as your eye grew wide and you purred at him rubbing your cheek to his as he craned down to kiss you, then scented him under his jaw. With an adorable flush and melodious gasp you pulled back looking around worried someone would know you'd scented your alpha.

"shh remember humans don't understand, they don't know what you did sweet pea" he uttered trying to sooth you. You had explained that scenting was seen as very private. It was... Like mating- the prequel to meeting, scenting was strengthening your bond and extremely intimate. To be caught doing it out side? It was very frowned upon, on krypton you'd get less disapproval if he fucked you out in the open!

"do not call me a p.. They are wretched things!... Call me... Something yummy" you complained not yet being aware that a sweet pea was a flower... And he wasn't calling you and actual pea.

"I apologise... You can be my little cookie?" he chuckled slowly it wasn't that he was laughing at you but he found it endearing how straight forward you were. If you didn't like something you told him out right. It was a nice change, you didn't seem to understand the whole human political correctness and subtlety. Your reasoning with Clark was that you could both feel the others feelings through the bond, so what was the point in lying. That would just complicate things. And he couldn't argue with your logic.

"what is a cookie?" you asked tipping your head to the side curiously. He did burst out laughing at that and shook his head squeezing you tight. Tighter then any human could handle, but that was part of the beauty in your relationship. You wasn't human, wasn't breakable. He could fully relax and touch you without fear of harming you. You were impenetrable... Well in that sense anyway~

"Something very sweet and delicious I promise~" he said kissing your head once more and ushered you down the isle slowly trying to find his mother, but still let you look around. You were curious and wanted to explore your new home planet and he wont ruin your first venture.

"Clark? Clark come and help me- I cant reach the milk! Its at the back again!" Martha said quietly you smiled. It took a lot of coaxing but you had indeed tried what Clark had explained as 'cow juice' and had developed a taste for it. So Martha had promised you milk every day if you liked. Which you did like. A lot. Clark pressed another kiss to you and walked off towards the milk refrigerators expecting you to follow.

You made to follow but a sweet scent hit you and you stopped mid step. It was wonderful and ripe, sweet and succulent. You pivoted and followed without much thought. Your feet found there way twisting around the display of 'leafy greens' to a bright colourful isle. You salivated at the smells. There were so many intoxicating scents you didn't know what to look at first.

You pressed a hand on a small net package full of strange green fuzzy balls. Kiwi's? You read and scrunched your face up at the peculiar name. Then plucked the bag up and held it to your nose sniffing. They smelled divine, like a type of food from home. Okriin a small sour sweet treat given to children on their birthing date. You sniffed again and almost cried. It was so similar but so different sweeter and fuller in the scent. You cautiously sniffed again and closed your eyes before tentativly prodding it with your tongue wanting to see if it tasted the same.

"y/n? Y/n?!- oh god there you are? What are you doing? You almost gave me a heart attack" Clark said racing towards you his mother behind him with the cart. He slid to a stop and blinked at you. As you scrunched up your nose.

"The texture of these are... Not very nice?" you said naively moving for the fruit again sticking your tongue out once more trying to discern if it was edible like this. Clark moved quickly gasping holding your hands that had the.. Kiwi's in it.

"no, no.. No we- you don't eat them like that... You peel them and eat the inside, and we don't lick things in the shop okay?" he explained with a teasing to his voice. Martha chuckled into her chest she couldn't help it, you were extremely cute.

"But? Then how do you know if you like it if you don't taste?" You frowned as Martha stifled a laugh. But she quickly curbed herself when you looked serious and a little upset. You didn't find it funny food was serious and had always been rationed, you were allowed only the portion you needed to stay healthy back home. Nothing more unless you could grow it.

"You buy it and eat it at home, then we can come and get more" Clark said drawing your attention once more. Your frown deepened. More? You could come back? That didn't sound right... or fair, Martha normally made one trip a week on the same day... wasn't that her alotted time for food shopping? Or was it by choice?

"More? But isn't there rules on how many trips a household makes?" You asked genuinely confused looking from your mate to his mother then back again. They both looked a little shocked by the idea of not being allowed to get food when they needed to. Martha even looked sad, shaking her head looking down.

"No love, there isn't... is there on kry-back home?" Clark asked, he almost sounded offended by the thought of being told when you can and cant go shopping.

"Yes. We have fifteen minuets for every member of your house hold that your shopping for and an alotted time every two weeks to pick up your rations" you said without batting an eyelash. Clark drew a deep breath, he had to admit he didn't like what he was hearing about your shared home planet. He found himself more and more relieved you were here with him and not in that? Authoritarian place.

"Did you lick anything else?" He said trying to move away from the topic, he was trying to get you used to this planet and this was your first time out and about in town. He wanted to move on, to let you be free and explore... preferably with him beside you.

"...If I do can we take it home?" You said tipping your head to him with a cheek grin. He chuckled and rounded you placing an arm around your waist and pokeing under your ribs in a freshly discovered tickle spot making you giggle.

"Silly thing you don't have to lick things for us to buy them, I suppose you liked the smell huh?" He enquired nodding to the Kiwis still clutched protectively in your hands.

"Yes it.. Its like something from home- a treat we had on our birthing day..." you nodded looking down plucking at the bright orange netting that kept four of the fuzzy fruit together.

"Then we shall get two packets love" he said plucking another pack of kiwis and placing them in the cart, he then looked to you as you scanned the isle still indulging in the amazing mix of smells and colours.

"Pick out a few more things to try, the mangoes are nice and juicy I think you'd like them." He said motioning to the colourful sweet smelling displays.

"R-really I can pick some?" You asked nervously twiddling your fingers and pulling onto the sleeves of your top.

"Yes love we don't ration here you can pick a few things to try, just promise me you wont lick any of it... at least not until we get to the car"  he said grinning as you nodded enthusiastically looking around suddenly full of childish glee. God help him when you try some candy, he has the feeling you'll have a sweet tooth.

"I promise!" You said happily and ran off to some of the other fruit that smelt divine and quickly picked a few.

Once you got home you watched Clark and Martha make a small platter of fruit for you. And you'd fallen inlove! Mangoes and pears were your favourite,  you didn't like grapefruit and should have listened when they told you not to eat a lemon... lemons were for juicing and flavouring other food, not for eating.

You smiled as you mulled over the day, that was the first day you saw the civilisation of your new home. Humans were free and unorganised. Chaotic but at the same time had made their own way to navigate the chaos of their world and one another. They were very similar to your kind. But it was hard, frightening! Suddenly you could do what you wanted when you wanted. Krypton in its desperation had taken many choices away, even the basic ones. Like how much food you could have per household, how many times you could visit the shopping districts or medical bays. You had laws on how much water you used, who could go where and when. and suddenly all that structure- all those rules were gone. You were to do as you pleased?

It was a frightening concept.

You padded across the small space to the barn with tentative steps, quivering knees. Clark was behind you a few feet trying to give you space, yet at the same time he was pressing himself though the bond. Warm and comforting reassuring you. He had learned in the past week that he could send messages through the bond. Almost whispers it was weird you didn't hear anything but you could feel his words, feel his probing. His soul was apart of you and your soul apart of him now. And you could communicate in such a deep way it- you almost felt as if you were one being.

Today you had decided to go through the ships cargo hold and start removing some things up to your room. It had been something you put off but it was time to begin answering more questions, time to give our alpha his heirlooms and books. Your job now was to help him learn all about krypton and its past.

Clark darted forward opening the doors to the barn letting you and Martha in. You'd decided to let Martha help, she deserved it she was your surrogate mother now after all. Last week she'd started asking you to call her Ma too.

You moved towards the tarp covering the ship and pulled at it making the crinkling plastic fall the  inched forward pressing a hand to the door to the pod. You froze, flashes of the moment you'd been wrestled into the pod crossed your mind. The fear and agony of knowing you were going to be there end. Kill your parents. But it was to late, it had been too late then and it was too late now.

"Omega? Are you alright?" Clark said standing behind you curling one arm around your frame, the thick forearm resting over your tummy at your waist.

"Yes, its... The last time saw this was when" you trailed softly, you knew he could feel the fear and despair as you replayed those final moments with your family over and over. You hand been strong enough to hold on to your mother or father. You hadn't had enough grip to pull them into the ship with you, and your lack of strength cost them their lives.

Clark murred into your shoulder, his other hand stretching out smoothing his palm over yours pinning it you the surface of the door. He could taste the anxiety, the overwhelming frantic terror that had overcome you as your bond soured your memories haunted you. In the night you'd cry out for them and jolt awake sobbing your heart out. But you'd never spoke about what ha actually happened.

"D-do you want to talk about it?" He said quietly pressing his chest to your back needing to touch his sweet omega, the overwhelming drive to comfort you was almost painful.

"I don't think it would help... I shouldn't feel bad, its what i had been commissioned for. We all new our purpose" Clark paused. What? You had barely spoke about krypton, but from what you had mentioned he had a very... unimpressed view of it. The world sounded totalitarian and harsh everyone leading a hard life of duty. But he had never pushed you, he could tell you still mourned the planet despite its shortcomings.

"C-commissioned? Purpose? What do you mean?" Martha muttered moving closer to you both. She too was curious, her and Clark never thought they would have this chance, that they could learn everything about the planet of his birth or his race. But you were it. Their answers a living breathing kryptonian that had resided on krypton! You knew everything they wanted to know and probably more. They had been trying to hold back their questions it would seem that you may finally be up to answering them.

"Krypton is... Was like... North Korea? The one shut off from the world? But... stranger, its hard to explain without knowing our history we had our reasons and failures" you trailed off, you was unsure where to start, the troubled past of your race was woven into its present, well not present as today but... the final era of krypton. Everything leading up to the day you were shipped off from the planet. There were complications, twists and turns that you might not be able to explain properly.

"Please, I'd like to know" his voice was small and sweet, almost naïve in a sense. You got the feeling of a curious desperation from your bond. It made you grin, he was trying so hard to hold back for your sake, he truly was the perfect mate both considerate and loving, there was a gentleness about him that many alphas are said to have lacked. It must come from being raised on this planet, growing up around being so much weaker then he is that has moulded him to hold such a sweet sense of  nurturing. After all your mate was the golden son, a living breathing god on earth.

"I know... come I have books and artefacts in the cargo hold, I will give them to you and you can read" you said with a shy smile, you warm giddy feelings traveling along you bond making him murr once more managing to hit the all important melodious sound that was the unique soul song you'd both began naturally harmonizing. You stood and pulled from Clark and walking a small way down the ship. You pulled a hidden hatch open jerking a lever up and then pulled and twisted before releasing. You were quite impressed at how easily you'd done it. The suns rays had made you immensely strong already. Soon your be flying hopefully!

Clark hovered over you, making sure to stand in between the ship and his mother. A large gust of air and a whirring sound resounded and you stepped back. There were several clunk's and metallic creaks then the whole side of the craft pealed away like a set of curtains a thick corsetina of metal revealed a large cargo hold the three of you could just fit in.

There were shelves and cases piled high inside. All of krypton's most valuable artefacts, your whole history in the small stalagmite keys. Just like the one Clark had been sent to earth with. But these held information, schematics of incredible tech, medicines and encyclopaedia's. Not only about krypton but other planets and races that could cause a threat.

The there were the texts for your pups. The very same you had used to study as a child. You tip toed inside looking around feeling your heart break. This was all that was left of a whole civilization. A case of ceremonial robes, some crown jewels. Seeds for a few important plants- even a small rack with some mature plants that were being grown in a small self sustained pod. It was a true treasure trove.

"Wow this is? Incredible"

"Everything in here is... significant to our kind- here these are the books to start with they will tell you what krypton went through... a child's guide to our history" you said scooping up the books you'd studied and handed them to Clark. He moved slowly taking them from you running his fingers over the image on the book.

You walked off around a small shelf trying to find your chest- the things your parents had been allowed to pack for you. You had to find it and get over those emotional tugging in your chest. You had a lot to explain and had to have a clear head on your shoulders.

Martha stood close by the exit as she watched the two of you potter about the ship. It was both frightening and exhilarating for her. She was glad they had thought about all this, about giving both you and Clark things to remember krypton by. She moved to step behind Clark peeking at the book he was flicking through and was surprized to find she could read it. Everything was in perfect English.

"This is? Are they all in English?" She asked turning to you who was still wandering around becoming upset clearly looking for something in particular.

"Yes, they needed to make sure kal-clark would be able to read it" you said comeing around the other side of the shelves and stood beside them both. Clark turned around eyeing the book seeing what looked like propaganda filling the pages. It was disconcerting he was slowly becoming aware that krypton was not the magical place he had envisioned but a very draconian type of civilization. He didn't want to read pages of scripted drivel. He wanted the truth. He closed the book and eyed you then held to book out to you.

"I'd like to learn from you... if its not to much to ask love? These books will paint a rosey picture, I want to know the reality what people actually thought of our planet" he said still offering you the book. You held your breath debating for a moment, but finally breathed out a sigh and took the book from him. Agreeing.

You moved to the side of the ship and sat down letting your feet rest on the steps. Clark and Martha followed your lead taking seats beside you.

You kept quiet for a moment pondering over what was most important to start with. Your evolution. Then your genealogy, the great mistake and population crisis and the laziness that followed. The selfishness and finally his own story, the story of the golden sons escape and the new age. The final short 31 year age. And your delivery.

You opened the page showing some images of the first ever 'proper kryptonians' and held it open letting both Martha and Clark lean over to see. It was like a family story time.

"Okay... So kryptonians evolved just like humans did millions of years ago.  But unlike humans we kept more of our animal like instincts, we retained pack mentality" you said pointing out the different images of the evolution.

"Alpha and omega's?" Clark asked curiously as his eyes scanned the page. There was a list for each. Alpha were bigger and stronger, more dominant and protective, fierce and very potent. They were more economic and able to draw more power from little radiation. Omega petite, defensive, skittish and shy. Nurturing and extremely fertile. Submissive.

"Yes and betas they aren't an extreme like omega and alpha. They are more balanced but much less fertile. We have one mate, one soul bond once its made you cant deny it, but its also a problem." You flipped a few pages to the mate bond section where there were a few images of couples and some more little bullet points. Of which you covertly covered, they didn't need to know about sex or knots or heat yet... you would explain to Clark later... alone.

You flushed unable to stop your mind wandering. Images of you finally bonding with Clark, the undulating hips and breathy moans resounding in your ears. All leading to a great finale of his bite, his canines would prick your skin clamping down not only marking you but to hold you still as his cock swelled and pressed your walls tight trapping you to his huge frame. It was said to be painful and euphoric the feeling of absolute unity. Apparantly omegas can panic when their alpha knots them for the first time, the bite would make you freeze and still for him enough to fully penetrate you. He'd knot you for a long while tying you to him both mind body and soul as he saturated your insides claiming your body for himself.  You swallowed, nervously. You couldn't wait to finally be claimed, but you were also nervous. He was large even for an alpha and there was no doubt in your minds he was well proportioned.  

Clark noticed you begin to blush and squirm, your scent changing becoming both sweeter and musky he leant over you trying to peek at what you were hiding. He snuck a hand around behind you and tried pulling on your elbow to see what your were trying to hide.

"Oh no come on love what are you hiding there?" He teased and pulled tugging you closer making you whine and pull back.

"No that's nothing just its err our sex education and we don't need to go into that yet!" At the mention of sex Clark stiffened and released your elbow but remained wrapped around you.

"Oh right well then.. we know all about that so there no need to... explore that topic" Clark said flushing brightly but you paused... should you tell him?

"Well err you... you will have to there are.. some difference to having sex with... others then your mate, things are... different when your body knows it can impregnate its partner. So you need to err... I've got books for you to read in private" you flustered flicking your eyes quickly from Martha to your mate trying hard not to imagine him but ass naked stroking his cock readying himself to mount you. Clark didn't seem to realise you were becoming nervous and quickly spoke up slightly confused by the way you'd worded your statement. But then again he found a lot of the things you said strange. You wored things differently, and sometimes used the wrong words altogether! As much as krypton prepared you it sort of hadn't? Your English was good but... Not completely accurate.

"Different when you can impregnate? What's that supposed to mean, I've had sex... It was normal human sex" you whined and lowered your head feeling a little upset. Your mate almost sounded offended, like you'd undermined him or doubted his ability... You felt a little shamed over it, you hadn't intended to insult him. You turned to him your panic of displeasing him washed away your nerves of having the sex talk. You rested a hand on his thigh squeezing it before beginning  to explain that you wasn't belittling him it was just genetics.

"You cannot conceive with anyone other then your soul mate... It just doesn't happen. Is impossible, we were taught that its because your genes are only compatible with that of your mate, your other half. Pairings aren't always omega and alpha either, they can be anyone with anyone, but most alphas have an omega" you said trying not to go into detail but Clark merly blinked at you nodding wanting you to continue as he soaked up every word.

"And there are... Things that... Happen during sex with your soul mate, your err... Anatomy changes... And err expands? I suppose? Our bodies do what they must to... To try and... Conceive.." you finally stuttered through the images your mind conjured. Mind drifting to all the uncomfortable classes full of giggling girls and unamused teachers explaining knotting and ejaculation with a huge image of a penis on the board... You flushed word on the school playground used to be the size of a balled fist was the size of your mates knot. You swallowed eyeing Clarks hands, though not balled up he had then curled up loosely. You clenched, for some reason the thought of him being such a large male made you very ,very excited and anxious. The larger a male the more chance there was at having a successful mating because he would be deeper and nothing would escape. Fuck.

You shook your head swallowing dryly. Now was not the time, thoughts like that were dangerous and could trigger a heat, something you didn't want to happen until he was aware of what was to come. You wanted him to be fully aware of heats, ruts knotting the full process before in sighting anything. He was still immensely stringer than you, if he were to have you now and panic whislt knotting he could pull free and tear you. And you didn't want that.

"soo i get a... Super erection or something?" he said with a huge smile both teasing and boasting, sitting up straighter unknowingly posturing, preening like a little peacock as humans would say. You made to reply flushing a deeper red, beginning to feel a tad dizzy with all this blood rushing to your head. But luckily Martha interrupted and waved her hands making a slicing motion trying to literally cut the conversation short.

"Right okay! Enough of all that" she said managing to move your arms that were still covering the very crude generic drawings of an alphas cock, you moved letting the human turn the page which lead to the next stage of your peoples history.

"But Ma?!" Clark complained eyes loosing their amused shimmer only for him to pout at the human clearly upset that he wont be having a full sex talk with you. And you couldn't be more thankfull because you only had books and a school sex education to go by, you'd never actually seen a real one before, so didn't really have any grounds to be teaching anyone anything about them. Least of all your much older, more experiance alpha mate.

"But nothing Clark, she said she has a book so you can read the damn book! There will be no hanky panky anytime soon do you understand me?" she scolded in a final motherly tone making you giggle into your hand. Your alpha was very cute when he pouted, blue eyes wide and a perfect downturned frown on his lips, the pink bottom lip pressed forward in a sweet gesture. How the perfectly masculine sharp angular male could be both stunning and adorable was beyond you. But he was just perfect.

"Yes Ma" he sighed looking more and more disheartened but then nudged your side and sent you a wink before raising his brows suggestively. You squeaked and looked to the book in your lap once more feeling your ears go red under his provocative gaze. He huffed a quiet chuckle and purred low in his chest. You felt it the warm yet prickly sensation of your mate. Is was playfull, like when someone lightly ghosts a finger over your inner arm? A slight tickling sensation that made your skin goose bump and tingle. You knew this feeling well, you had been pleased to know your alpha wasn't all work and no play. He was actually a very fun loving man, he liked teasing you playfully and always managed to make you laugh or blush. He enjoyed you being both happy and flushed they seemed to be his favoured reactions and he would go out of his way to cause them.

------------------------------------

Martha had said he just seemed happier, younger like a little teenager again. But this time without all the angst. Like you had somehow drawn away the worries he had. Apparantly as he took the mantle of superman he had lost himself along the way. He wasn't cruel or mean but he was stressed. Martha had said he was beginning to question himself, ask if it was worth it, if anything was worth it anymore. He took on more and more responsibility and was working himself into the ground. But now he wasn't?

He had you to come home too, he had something more to fight for. She said Clark saw you as his reward in a sense. You were his future, the life he had always wanted but could never hope for. Martha said you'd saved him. You wasn't sure if you really believed her, how could you save him when all you have done is sleep and refuse to eat anything other then fruit.

"Clark you might be more convincing if you wiped that smirk off your face... I'm serious, let y/n settle before risking any children okay?" the woman deadpanned making him shrug and chuckle at her.

"Aw that's no fun I already promised. Didn't I sweetheart?" he teased still eyeing you managing to ignore his mothers scathing look as he tried to get you to look at him again. And like an idiot you did spare him a quick glance, well you thought it was quick but somehow he managed to wink at you again blowing you an over exaggerated kiss.

"Clark Joseph Kent!" Martha snipped quickly a much firmer warning in place making him sigh and roll his eyes at his mothers use of his full name. He could see her point but he had to admit he was a little put out with her.. His mother had an issue with your age, even though your twenty two in earth terms you still did look the part of a teen all be it a nineteen year old, but teen none the less. She was uncomfortable with the idea of him bedding you and wanted you both to wait. But Clark didn't have an issue with it, you were his omega. He was your alpha and neither you or he were humans. So why live your lives by human rules? Besides the paperwork was all set up. Legally your not a minor here you just look young, many women did.

"Yes, yes fine, no sex yet jeez" he acquiesced giving in for the moment not needing another lecture. As much as he loved his mother; and he truly did. But his sex life was none of her business and he will fuck you when you were ready and willing and there was nothing that will get in the way of that. Not even the woman who raised him.

"Glad to hear it son. Oh don't give me that look you know it makes sense... Now dear why don't you continue, both Clark and i would love to here about your history" Martha scolded then rolled her eyes at her supposed 'adult' son who was pouting. You smiled uneasy but nodded. You learned quickly that Martha ruled the roost, but it was still strange for you to watch. You'd been raised to see Kal as a god- a saviour and your races true hope. Watching the man you'd all but worshipped be scolded by a human was... confusing. But you just let it be, you were realising humans were much more complicated then you were lead to belive.

"yes of course..." you paused clearing your throat quickly looking at the open page then flipped it seeing the next images. The ships, and graph of births declining... the population crisis, the beginning of the mighty kryptonians demise.

"When our people began scouting the galaxy less and less found their soulmates because we were soo scattered and so pairings dropped and so did births which began effecting economy and age gap parings suffered because their mates werent being born. Suddenly things took a nose dive mates weren't being born families were suddenly being cut short and many bloodlines died off... Over sixty percent of noble houses were wiped out in three decades, suicides were on the rise there was no point to life if you couldn't be happy or have a family" you explained flipping another page letting the both of them get their fill. Both pages were full of house crests and a little information on what each one represented, what their houses did for krypton notable mentions and such.

You flipped again this time showing images of the amniotic chambers. Huge glass towers that grew 'artificial' kryptonians. It was a leap forward in science. They had learned to play god, create life without any comprises. Your own eyes scanned the image a small foetus in a sack and a few around it larger and more developed. It was how your own life began.

"We turned our attention to a amniotic chambers, scientists and doctors could suddenly make anyone children! Mates or not. There was a huge baby boom but, it did nothing for the planet or its people" you explained slowly even saying it sounded strange now that you were older, but then again you'd been taught that this had been wrong. This it was the mistake that had started krypton's downfall. You'd been raised in the old ways, with old values.

"Over time it was seen as primitive to actually seek out your mate and birth a child naturally even having sex became pointless. Why go through that pain when you could have one made and delivered to you when its born?"

"So they were farming babies?" Martha asked incredulously unable to fathom such a thing. It was far fetched, the idea to make fake children? To be able to have a child without carrying them or birthing them but they were your own flesh and blood?

"Yes Ma, but more then that... when we turned our back on natural birth and mates we lost a lot of ourselves and had to use a codex to give the new generations traits and keep some semblance of our race instincts... but even that became political all birthed children had to become more beneficial to society. Loyal, strong, intelligent, beautiful, compassionate, nurturing. And at the same time you could choose the look of your child, their sex, their presentation." You explained voice getting smaller as you spoke it was uncomfortable to talk about parents could determine everything about you. Your sex, pigmentation personality, hell your parents could choose specific moles and birthmarks of they wanted a late 'morphing' session a few weeks before you were born.

"Presentation?" Martha frowned not fully understanding. You nodded to her sparing a glance before quickly looking away. It was strange explaining anything that remotely eluded to pairings and mating with her. She was a human and didn't understand. You found it unnerving, everyone just knew these things back home.

She didn't understand it and sometimes it frustrated her making her snip at you and Clark. She didn't mean to but it was just hard for her to fathom a race evolving and still retain some animal primitive instincts. Humans didn't keep much of theirs, the only ones you were aware of was their self preservation- their undeniable need to stay alive for as long as possible apart from that? They had escaped everything else. The bottom line was humans didn't have soul mates and Kryptonians did, and no matter how much the woman wished Clark was a human, he wasn't and he never would be. Martha had been able to ignore it on a day to day basis. To all intents and purposes when Clark wasn't in his suit she could pretend he was normal. Until you came along.

Not that you think she didn't like you, because she loved you, you were sure of it. It was just, sometimes Martha had to look away as you and Clark bonded. She didn't see mates, she saw her adult son fawning over a love struck teen.

"Will they be alpha, beta, omega or a new non-type" you hummed quietly trying not to dwell on the subject not wanting to upset her. Martha drew in a deep breath and nodded to you soaking up the information. You could see she was trying, she wanted to understand it was difficult for her.

"So if I wanted a blue eyed blonde boy I just had to say?" She said veering off topic slightly wanting to move on swiftly but didn't want to out right say 'lets talk about something else'

"Sort off, eyes can only be dark. Blue, green, pink, grey and amber eyes were traits only found in true borns, these traits died out. Everyone had a dark brown or black eyes occasionally you could have a very dark blue or green but bearly noticeable"  you brushed over the topic as quickly as you could whislt still giving a few extra details. Clark grinned at you and made a passing comment of 'that's why my eyes fascinated you soo much?' Both he and Martha chuckled as the comment made you flush and nod slightly. It was true, you'd been enamoured with his eyes never having seen blue before... and they were soo blue it was like looking into the purest cleanest pools of water your ever seen! Gorgeous and vibrant. it had been a little ongoing tease of Clarks commenting that you were 'staring again' when ever he caught you gazeing at his azure crystal clear eyes.

"Krypton was quickly overpopulated and began draining our planets resources quicker, then they looked to the core... the beating heart of the planet" you said turning the page adamant you were not going to be caught up eyeing him again for the hundredth time today.

"And they drained it?" Clark said leaning mover your shoulder looking at the diagram of krypton that briefly explained how the core was depleted and what a calamity it was.

"Yes. It took a millennia but we bled our planet dry... It became a dry desolate place but had huge glistening cities! Technology you could only dream of! Krypton was the envy of many other planets, our military might alone ended wars in days..." Clark frowned. Military? So not only did krypton become a harsh dictatorship they had been going to war? Enough that they were a feared adversary?

You winced as Clarks face darkened at the mention of war. He didn't like fighting and killing but krypton? In its hay day was the front runner. Its military protected the planet but also dominated. It you wanted to win a war it was the kryptonians you wanted on your team, your soldiers were bred for war, just like the omegas were bred for breeding. Clark growled, eyes skimming the page that praised and boasted about the great many wars that they had won, the enemies they had crushed. You swallowed and flipped a few pages quickly skipping the small chapter on the military past.

You skimmed the next page quickly, there were no images on the next few pages. You paused remembering when you'd first worked studied this chapter. You'd been around eight years old, sitting in Mrs Nirn's class chewing your pen as you read ahead zoning out.

You had wanted to understand why things were so different from what your parents upbringing had been. You wanted to know why there were no little boys in your class, why were the lights off? Why couldn't you have a little sister like your father? Everytime you asked an adult they always vaguely mentioned 'things aren't how they were before' but no one had ever answered your follow up questions 'before what? What happened?'  And this was the chapter that explained everything, that shed light on your peoples recent history.

"Love? Mate are you okay?" Clark asked worriedly watching as you seemed to drift off into your own little world. You jumped and faced him as his warm palm met with your back, slow soothing circles rubbing your tense form slowly. You smiled uneasily and nodded to him before taking a deep breath. He had to know, it was your duty to teach him what happened. It was your place to enlighten him on his own importance, he had a right to know how he got to earth.

"W-We began racing towards calamity there was huge protests, people realised we were not going to last and there would be no escape. But the government decided to call a meeting over it- Jor El decided to plead the council to stop the mining but he was ignored the meeting was just for show a ruse to try and quell the masses... Then Lara began pleading with them to think of the consequences" you said quickly finding your voice again recounting the events that began his own story, the role his parents had played in the prolonged survival of the planet and that ultimately lead you to him.

"My parents?" He said slowly recognising their names once more. You nodded glancing to Martha, you didn't really want to keep bringing up your alphas birth parents in front of the woman you didn't want her to get upset or think she was any less significant. Lara may have birthed your mate. But Martha had raised him, shaped him into the glorious gentle and caring male that he was. Martha seemed to know you were worrying over upsetting her and smiled encouragingly before  placing a reassuring hand on your back below Clarks patting you sweetly.

"I'd like to know too dear, I want to know about the people who gave me my son" she cooed slowly making you bite your lip and take a deep breath muttering a meek 'okay if your sure' under your breath.

"They were strong and kind, serious though and realistic. They both avidly protested about the continued abuse of the planet and warned about the imminent destruction of krypton... it wasn't until to coup that anyone new why."

"Why? What was the reason?" Clark said eagerly paying you his full attention. He was both excited and anxious about learning of his actual parents, everything he thought about krypton seemed to be wrong. On a whole he'd convinced himself that his home planet was almost a mythical place that was good and pure perfect! But it was the complete opposite, he didn't want his fantasy of perfect parents to be shattered too. And there was always the fear he'd been abandoned simply because he was an unwanted child or defective in some way.

"She was pregnant with the first natural son of krypton. They didn't want you to be born just to die after a few weeks of life. You were born in your family home. No doctors or machinery, nothing but your mother and father." Clark let out a breath soaking in the information. Zod was right. Jor was telling the truth? He truly was the first natural born kryptonian? It was there in black and white! Not hear say! He didn't have much time to relish in the relief as you continued quickly.

"A few days after your birth Zod made his move to attack the council, his move was partly spurred on by the civil unrest and protests all over the planet." Another few pages were turned as you bypassed all the nitty gritty details of the coup and violence, the protests  and downfall of many proud houses dragged out of their homes, the riots and looting as the military began fighting internally and the police force all but abandoned their duty.

"My birthday?" Clark said lightly dragging his fingers over an image of himself. A still taken from the footage of his birth, he was in a small oval crib with a blanket over his waist and lower half. Beside him was Lara and Jor watching over him. And at the top of the page a date. Both in kryptonian and earths calendar.

"May? I was born in May? Ma look!" He said sniffing quietly looking at the page in awe. That was him, his parents! They were there! He gazed at the image excitedly, he never new his real birthdate, his parents had guessed but here it was. The exact date! His actual real birthday. He wasn't an Aries. He was a Taurus. He never believed in star signs but, somehow he felt better knowing.

"I see that son, you were perfect and so tiny~" she said slightly tearful herself. This was bittersweet, she had to listen and watch as her son, the boy she raised found out the truth of how he came to her. She didn't doubt he loved her but she was always frightened of him leaving her behind in a way, the terror of him forgetting her and choosing someone else replacing her was almost too much. But at the same time Martha owed a lot to the couple that had entrusted her with their son, she would be lying if she wasn't curious about them and the reason Clark was here.

"Your father in an effort to protect you entered the amniotic chamber and stole the codex. He was hunted for it but by the time anyone could intervene or arrest him it was to late. He had sealed the codex inside of his son. He was the final kryptonian so should be able to carry all traits." You explained turning the next page seeing the image of the chamber Jor ha infiltrated. The codex sitting proudly in place.

"He.. he risked his life? To save me?" Clark breathed out barely whispering the words as he leant forward clasping his hands together tightly. You faltered and looked to him shocked, he hadn't known? You all new that Kal was sent to earth with a stalagmite key with his fathers conscious, had Clark not managed to activate it? Here were ships all over this planet, kryptonians had tried to settle here but... For some reason they just couldn't seem to survive for long. No one knows why, connection was lost.

"He... Gave his life to save you. Zod was the one who caught onto your fathers plan and... He confronted him and your mother. Tried to kill you, your existence; the proof of a natural born was... it would have destroyed his cause... it would have proved him wrong" you uttered slowly unsure how you could tell him the truth without upsetting him, it was a delicate matter. Clark ushered you closer managing to tuck you under his arm holding you as close as he could to his side, then began murring out at you as he felt the nerves, the tangled feelings of fear , grief regret and sorrow. Each one coiling around the other making for an uncertain overbearing pull.

You didn't mean to but you were tugging the bond, looking for approval. Nervously searching for some inclination that he was alright. Prodding at him tentatively trying to peak at his feelings. But you were still uncertain of how to do it without being pushy? On krypton it was said to be unseemly to pry at your mate, normally things flowed freely to forcefully take a look deeper into your mate was... rude and could be construed as not trusting your mate.

Clark didn't know that though. Was it bad? Cruel of you to omit that little social detail so he wouldn't be annoyed at you for it? Was it manipulating? Clark hummed leaning his head ontop of yours, resting his cheek on your crown and placed a sweet kiss to your hair.

"I know... I- he told me on the ship when I found out about krypton... when he told me of mates" he said calmly. You released a low whine nodding to him purring up at him as your shoulders relaxed, slumping once more in relief. You'd been wound up over that. It wasn't like his father would be alive now anyway, but telling him of his families demise wasn't really something you took pleasure in.

"O-oh.. okay well then...err your father was a warrior and fought him, he gave your mother enough time for her to launch your ship. Zod finally over came your father but it was too late, you were almost out of the atmosphere." You swallowed steeling yourself as you continued your tale, recounting the incredible events that had taken place, changing history and the fate of your race.

"Zod instructed all his units to shoot you down, but your mother had used a incredibly illegal amount of resources to make sure your ship's boosters and armed defences were at peak and you made it out"

"So That's really how I left? During all that? I thought Jor had dramatized it... but he hadn't and.." Clark trailed off in thought. He was telling the truth he had been a little sceptical, he couldn't help it he had over thought it afterwards. Managing to think himself into doubting Jor's story picking at it, almost convincing himself the story was a little too convenient.

"It got worse, zod and his men were sent to the phantom zone and your mother was tried for treason. But everything stopped when the footage came through." Martha who had remained quiet listening to you patiently taking in the new information.

"Of what?"

"Clarks birth, it was the first time in centuries anyone had managed to naturally birth a son, a true born son. It was big news and that when the council began to listen, really listen" you shrugged unsure how to explain the magnitude of what Clarks birth actually meant. Unless you were a krypton native you just didn't get it. You  finally closed the book and held it in your lap eyeing both Clark and Martha.

"Then the laws changed krypton accepted its fate, it would die. But not without hope for its race to continue. And that's how we ended up as we were... the draconian backwards planet." You didn't go into detail, over the past few weeks you'd let things slip. Martha and Clark both shared a look. You were almost ashamed of your home. The differences between the totalitarian measures your people resorted to were frowned upon in this country. You felt stupid in a sense. You knew it was only natural to be slightly out of touch on this new home but? You just hadn't realised how much. The freedom and basic human right's you'd been denied! You were taught to belive in Kal. He was effectively used as propaganda, as a reward. If your good and obedient he will accept you. If not? Then you will fail both him and your race.  

"The council watched you used as much energy as it could spare to watch you grow. Then you presented! Alpha, just as we'd hoped. Overnight everything changed again, we had hope and direction. Children were commissioned once more females only, and only women that have a recessive omega gene were allowed to have a child..." you reiterated the fact that females were the only gender allowed to be created. It was the most important rule of your people in the end. Only a female omega could replenish a race.

"But couldn't you make them omega? You said you could choose things like that?" Martha asked frowning not following. You cursed and shook your head you knew you'd confuse them somehow by leaving something out. It was difficult trying to remember all the details about the last chaotic years of krypton.

"No, with the codex gone we couldn't control the genes as much, we could force the child to be female but that was about it. They tried but it was hard creating a definite omega no one could really tell until we presented many were betas or the non type there were very few of us. It was just pot luck." And it was pot luck, out of one hundred girls only fifteen to seventeen would be omega. If the percentage were over that in a generation then it was seen as a 'bumper crop'

"We were made and raised to be your omega. Every one of us was taught about earthling ways. Taught about how to birth and raise pups."

"You were raised to be my mate?" Clark said frowning. He found it strange. You bit your lip chewing on it. You debated on how much he really needed to know, because  honestly now you were here? And experienced earth first hand, now you'd met and spent time with your alpha. You understood how... creepy it would be? But then again if you lied he could realise you had when he reads more of the books here. You drew another breath releasing your lip from between your teeth and hissed quietly deciding it would be best to tell him.

"Yes. Our whole education was based on you and was meant to prepare us for life on earth. You have to understand, you were worshipped like a god. You had the abilities of our earliest ancestors." You began trying to dull down the in depth education you'd received about his upbringing and family. Yet still make him understand just how ingrained he was in your upbringing.

"You are? The epitome of the perfect kryptonian,  proof of how great we once were! Your the perfect male. Being your omega was-is the greatest honour any kryptonian could have. And the only way to survive, only Kal's omega would have the last of the cores power used on her to move her off planet. Her saftey was the most important thing" you explained finally petting him see just how incredibly precious he was. His eyes grew wide as he truly began to understand. This wasn't all talk, and you hadn't been joking when you called him the golden son god among men. That's what you all believed. He was worshipped. It was a sobering thought.

Clark tightened his hold of you hand trembling, palm a little sweaty against your hip. He made to speak but didn't seem to be able to find any words. He couldn't make a sound. It was too surreal for him. Some called him a god here, but he was able to just brush it off, ignore it as an exaggeration. But on krypton? They had meant it. Literally.

"So every girl was raised to... Become Clark's wife? To have children? That's it? No ambitions of your own just... grow up and have babies?" Martha uttered quietly but there was an underlying sadness, she seemed to be offended for you. Which you found peculiar, here the lines of gender were blurred. Krypton raised females to breed, then once they present they were taught other skills to be useful and pay their way.

"Yes. It was... Just how things were, we were taught how to raise children and what to expect with Kal... taught to cook and earthling ways to an extent mainly laws and language but mostly our education was about history and child rearing." You said of handedly trying not to incite anger from the woman. You knew it was hard for her to imagine your homeland. It was harsh and soo different from here. There were regimes like krypton on this planet but they were seen as hostiles and stood against everything this country stood for.

"How did they know? I mean with you? How did they know your were mine"  Clark said quickly managing to intercept what he believed to be a long rant from his mother. She had already made up her mind about krypton, she hadn't said it but she didn't need to her face said it all.

"Your mark apparently we share a mark which is unique to our bond and yours had activated. The council called all the omegas that had presented and searched for your mark. I was the one to have it. I was your mate" you said vaguely to be honest you didn't even understand it properly yet, it was one of the things you were hoping to find out looking through these books.

"And then after finding it they sent you here?" Clark uttered quietly. He was soo wrapped up in loving you, understanding these instincts and just basking in your presence. That he hadn't really stopped to think about the actual journey, surely it had been your choice? Especially when the cost was soo great. But there was a foreboding in your demeanour it left a heavy cold feeling in his gut.

"Yes. My parents- they had five minuets to say good bye and load me into the ship. The council didn't want to cause a panic and wait, I was wrestled into the ship by my father" you spoke weakly. You hadn't thought much about it, you had nightmares. But that was it, you tried avoiding it, blanking it out... not unlike the adults as you were growing up. In your head there was here and now on earth with your alpha and then before. Before became the codename for life on krypton. Before meant your parents, the rules, pain and fear! Before meant anxiety and death.

And now? Now was the time to let them know. Sure they understood the logistics. You were sent here to your mate. But they didn't know the actual story- the chain of events that lead to your arrival. And for the first time since getting here you needed to get it off your chest. Let it out and be done with this chapter finally let go of the fear and guilt you'd bottled up.

"I was terrified, and I fought but? Not hard enough I couldn't hold on to them either of them! The told me that they loved me and everything would be okay but it wasn't- I was about to kill them... I just" your bottom lip wobbled and your voice came out  strained, you fought to get the next words out. Clark murred and tried to comfort you, feeling the fear and anxiety. The guilt and devastation in your bond was... it sickened him feeling such sorrow. But it did no good, he tugged you up and sat you on his lap curling around you, holding you to his chest desperately wanting to sooth you. Ever ounce of him was trembling the need to cheer you up and tend to you was astounding.

But even through all that need and instinct, he knew he couldn't. You were mourning, not only you parents but your race, way of life, your home, your planet! It would be a heavy blow to anyone least of all his delicate young omega. He didn't speak, he didn't want to interrupt, you needed to get this out. He needed to know what happened so he could help you.

"Then my dad... He was the one to strap me i-in... he was the strongest there... the others couldn't have held me down long enough. The ship closed... locked and that was it I was off to earth." Silence reigned as your new family took in what you'd said. They hadn't realised how you'd come here... Clark thought you came willingly, happily boarded the ship to get here. He hadn't even considered your fear and the weight on your shoulders.

"I felt it. The planet die. All the teachers said that you'd be asleep before it happened but I wasn't. It was the loudest and most frightening thing I'd ever heard. It rocked the ship, then the debris... it was like a monsoon, a deafening rain storm of rocks the earth and foundation of krypton itself." Your took a deep breath leaning against Clark pressing your back into him twisting your head slightly resting on his shoulder trying to tuck your face into his neck. Seeking him as your only comfort. .

Clark was finding it heard to hear. He was ecstatic you were here, he didn't care the cost. Now he felt like a bastard. He couldn't imagine hearing and entire planet die. And entire race. You must have felt so scared and alone. He wasn't sure he could handle that type of trauma. Its one thing to be alone hoping you had a homeland. Knowing for certain? That was another thing entirely. Martha hummed watching as Clark got upset and scooted closer placing her hand on your knee while throwing her arm around Clarks back rubbing slowly.

"I p-panicked and tried to change direction, tried rerouting the ships pre-set destination... But it couldn't find krypton. The planet just? Wasn't there anymore, it was so surreal. Instead it continued on to earth, and the onboard computer said I was too panicked to travel at hyper speed so it put me to sleep... the next thing I remember is waking up here... it felt like minuets but had been six months." You ended. It didn't seem right, such a long historic tale ending with you walking up on an alien planet.

All those failures and mistakes rolling one after the other after the other. All the power hungry fools and scientific breakthroughs for nothing. In the end your race had come full circle. An alpha and his omega. Two intertwined souls. The very last paired kryptonians. It was almost ironic, for all the advances and medical wonders in the end nature triumphed.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry that you had to face that alone... if I'd known I would have come and got you, I would have never let krypton die-" Clark started apologising holding you tighter dipping his head to yours resting his nose on your hair breathing you in swaying you sweetly.

"No. Krypton had to. We couldn't risk another Zod on your new planet. Your abilities in an evil power hungry kryptonian? It would have been chaos. We knew that we had to start fresh but cohabit a planet. Not rule it. That's why we needed kryptonians to be birthed here." You cut him off quickly. He didn't have to feel responsible,  krypton made their bed and they could lie in it. They strayed too far and had failed, destroyed themselves.

"Zod came. He tried to take over but I... I killed him, id found a ship and my father explained a few things to me, told me about my mate that would be sent to me I looked for you in zods men. But he laughed saying id never find you- the final straw that made me kill him was when he laughed saying you were dead." Clark hissed voice becoming dark as he remembered Zod. The cruelty the man had, the utter madness was something that ha7nted him. He feared that was the true nature of kryptonians, that one day he would become another Zod.

"You did the right thing. Zod was corrupt. The codex can sometimes corrupt a child and feed them too much. His loyalty and strength were... maddening. He was meant to be a soldier he wanted to be a dictator, even on krypton. That's what the coup was about. He was trying to overthrow a high ruling government" you said before slowly untangling yourself from your mate. He released you, hands still hovering as you stood and brushed yourself off. You sniffled and wiped your eyes before excusing yourself scaling the small steps of the ship. Clark made to follow you as you disappeared into the ship needing a few moments alone. Martha held him shaking her head understanding you needed a little breathing room.

You couldn't help it, the feelings came back, the terror and anxiety panic and self loathing. It was nauseating, you'd not really managed to come to terms with the deaths of your family, deaths that you caused. You'd managed to ignore it? Being in a completely new environment you'd almost convinced yourself you were on a trip, a holiday and that your parents were at home safe and sound. It probably wasn't healthy but its what had managed to get you through all this. But saying it outloud? Recounting it had brought everything to life.

You huffed rubbing your eyes as they teared up, seeing all this in here was hitting home. The priceless artefacts and wealth of knowledge surrounding you only solidifying the fact krypton was gone. That it was your duty to keep all this heritage alive. Your job to birth a race and find a way to integrate into this alien world. It was a terrifying prospect, soo much responsibility for a single young female. And you had to bare it alone along side the guilt of being your planets demise.

You quickly wiped at your face sniffling as you felt Clarks approach. Ducking down you looked into the satchel that you recognised as your fathers old pack. You jumped as Clark crouched behind you pressing two heavy hands on your shoulders massaging them before dragging you back to him. You sighed hanging your head as he plastered you to his front,  strong arms slowly winding around your waist.

"Its not your fault, you couldn't have saved them." He said softly pressing a chaste kiss to your neck breathing you in, scenting you. It was something else that was strange at first but Clark had mastered quickly. He noticed that if he gave in to some of these... instincts he could calm you down. Scenting you, coupled with touching you coddling and holding you close seemed to be the most effective way to sooth you when things began to get too much. When you got overwhelmed, but he held back in front of his mother. She was still uneasy about the age difference.

"I could have fought harder-" you whined feeling yourself tremble, the severity of what happened the reality of it crushing you. You began huffing, taking deeper breaths holding them trying to fight the fear and sobs. You couldn't afford this self pity you had a job. A duty to your people and you cant fail! You wont because then it was for nothing-

"Omega." Clarks voice grunted, snapping you out of your thoughts. It was strange, he sounded firm and stern. A real alpha reprimanding, commanding you. You shivered. It was both frightening and sexy. Perfect. You peered back at him, a few tears escaping followed by a single mewl as you tried to stop yourself from crying.

"Nothing you said would have stopped them. Nothing. From everything you've told me, the one thing that stands out is krypton did as it pleased. A tiny thing like you never would have stood a chance" he cooed down at you somehow maintaining his authority but in a gentler way. The light growl almost soothed you, it sounded like his murr but deeper and had more conviction.

"I... I know but it... It wasn't meant to be me. Wasn't meant to happen, they always said it was the end but?" You tried to get out the feelings but for some reason you couldn't put words to them. It came in waves, as ecstatic as you were to be here with your mate, relish in the presence of your incredible alpha. You also wanted your parents, your home and all the things you'd been brought up with. You were selfish, you'd wanted it all.

"No one ever really believes a world can end love" he breathed out slowly. Still pressing close to you sniffing and kissing at you, tucking his hands below your tshirt rubbing the warm palms on your flat tummy making you relax.

"So what's this then?" Clark said motioning to the satchel you were fiddling with. You cast a glance to him and smiled sadly.

"My dads... they were allowed to pack things before we got tested... just incase and...They didn't have long to gather things- god I hope there's a photo! And my-" you were cut off as he chuckled and moved closer hooking a finger around the opening tugging it lightly.

"Jurashnir stuffie?" He said making you flush and gape. You were surprised he even remembered. But it warmed your heart that he did remember such a small detail, a passing comment really. It showed he really did listen and take in what you said, even if it was silly anxious prattle.

"Yes that" you hummed face glowing in a sweet blush. And began pulling the bag open fully digging you hand inside.

"I hope she packed it too" Clark chuckled holding the bag open wider so you could see more of the things inside. You already recognized some things, your mothers perfume she used on the rarest of occasions. Your fathers military id pin some clothing and jewellery that they treasured the hair ornaments your mother wore on their ceremonial binding. Then there was the all important photo, you closed your eyes glimpsing the image. No, it was too soon for that, you couldn't look at their smiling faces yet, not after killing them.

Then you felt it. Your stuffie the one that had been with you since you were brought home as a new babe. You yanked it out eyes watering as you pulled out the toy. Clark eyed it with a smile, it was like a chinchilla small round and cute, huge eyes and adorable. You held it close overwhelmed by it, which was stupid, it was a bloody toy, but brought so much comfort. You nuzzled it, rubbing the tiny ear between your fingers like you had thousands of times before.

"I- sorry it..." you breathed out quickly pulling the toy to your lap twiddling the fur on it humming. Your cheeks glowed feeling embarrassed from being so childish, getting so caught up in having your treasured toy with you.

"No. Don't apologise" your alpha was quick to argue with a wide grin eyeing the toy himself with a relieved expression.

"I'm glad you have something from home to comfort you" and he did. He wanted to help make you more at home here, and if a little stuffie did that he wont complain. It will have pride of place on the bed both here and when you finally return to Metropolis with him.

You smiled slowly bringing to toy to your chest clutching it close with one hand almost afraid of releasing it now you'd been reunited. You handt realised just how much it meant to you until you face not having him. Your other hand felt around inside the bag and come across a small book. You frowned and pulled it out then flushed seeing what it was. Who had popped that in your bag?! Surely not your parents, there must be a mistake.

You flipped it open and froze seeing your fathers broken English scribbled on the inner cover. A note to Kal.

'This help read. Kal be happy with mate, love her make family' you drew a deep breath and smiled nodding understanding what he meant. Be happy with each other, become a family.

"Ah and Clark... here this is our erm... my dad left this to you mating book... it has everything you need to know about... that" you uttered handing him the book. He froze not expecting to have anything from your parents. He looked over the words and smiled. It was your fathers blessing something he thought he'd go without. Before you could stop him he was flicking through the book scanning the pages and flushing slightly before laughing boisterously drawing his mother into the ship finally giving into her curiosity.

"Well I'll be damned you actually gave me a guide book for sex! Does it have pictures?~" he smirked closing the book and levelling you with a playful stare. You shrunk back squeezing the stuffie in your arms feeling embarrassed pursing  your lips cutely.

"Oh god I don't err? Look just read it okay! Alone!" You growled at him as he still laughed finding it amusing just how flustered you got. He winked at you before quirking a brow at you then peered at the book once more.

"Oh so it does have pictures! Hmm? Must be my lucky day being given free porn"  he exclaimed teasing you happy that you'd seemed to cheer up, even if you were now a little sheepish.

"I-its not porn! Its realistic sex education!" You said flapping at him well aware of the critical look Martha was casting you both.

"Well sweet heart trust me when I say I don't need much tutoring... actually I do... I need lots! But I'm better at practical~ perhaps you could squeeze in a little one on one session?" He purred leaning closer pushing his chest against you humming biting his lip nuzzling you. You shuddered and stuttered tripping over your words. It was at that moment Martha jumped into action.

"OKAY! Right that's enough lessons for one day Casanova, we can leave that conversation there" she huffed standing behind him placing her hands on her hips taking a stern stance.

"What? But ma i was just about-"

"Oh i know very well what you were just about to do son! Behave. And be glad she gave you a raunchy book." The human countered none to impressed with the way Clark seemed to be turning into a cheeky horndog.

"Its just sex education... not raunchy" you muttered quietly hanging your head with a sigh still glowing brightly at the fact everyone seemed to think you'd given him porn.

"I believe you sweety... Come on Clark lets get a move on, we will sort one shelf today then we can relax in the garden" she assured you before ordering Clark nudging him with a foot making him pout.

"But ma?" He whined suddenly transforming from eager alpha to leading child that made you giggle. He really was cute, cuter then you'd thought he'd be.

"No buts. You want to take this stuff to your little club house today don't you?" She snipped prodding him harder with her foot with a smirk.

"Fortress Ma. Its a fortress" Clark huffed rolling his eyes sending you a wink only to yip as Martha toe punched him a little harder in warning.

"Mm hmm call it what you want, when a son builds himself a hidden little mancave and only lets certain friends in, its a clubhouse. No matter how big or high-tech it is" she drolled making you chuckled at the two. It was nice having the motherly woman around even if she was struggling with the new situation you and her son were in.

"Its not a... whatever, come on you lets sort through this shelf first" Clark finally caved and stood helping you up deciding to pick his battles... he had to keep his mother sweet if he was going to convince her that you could move in with him, be it his room here or his appartment in Metropolis.