#the french thruple

[dreamsuvivor]

you’ve heard of Britcedes now get ready for Fralpine

[thatstonedwriter]

˚₊‧🍄[ Hangin' with The Boys ]🍃˚₊‧

◉ Synopsis; how the Boys spend their time off (with you)

◉ CW; potential spoilers for seasons 1-3, substance use (and abuse), swearing

◉ A/n- aight my first piece for the Boys- went with something tame to ease myself into writing for this insane show- wtf am I doing

◉ feat; Butcher, Hughie, Frenchie, M.M, Kimiko

Moments of peace are few and far between when you're hunting and killing Supes. When you're not being thrown out windows and being threatened by the world's most powerful entities, free time with the Boys is definitely a special treat

The bastard he is, Butcher spends any free time he's got smoking, drinking, and antagonizing the others- just for a laugh. Butcher will always try to sneak off to a bar or some back room- but ever since you joined the crew, he's had a hard time shaking you off. Always following diligently- or maybe just to be an annoyance- Butcher is almost never free of you- or your attempts to get him to socialize. Forced proximity and a lot of patience were crucial to Butcher finally caving and allowing you to join him for a drink one day. At first, it’s quiet- not uncomfortably so, with the usual ruckus in the room over serving as odd but comforting background noise. Any conversation that does take place is likely started by Butcher insulting you. That goes for every other conversation that follows, too. You’re either a Butcher enabler or you help pull him back. Maybe it depends on the day- either way, your partnership comes at the expense of the others’ sanity. Pranks, insults, and drinks/cigs galore- the two of you go through the “recreational supplies” faster than Frenchie.

I really, really hope you like (or can at least tolerate) Billy Joel because that’s all Hughie wants to have playing in the background while the two of you talk. Of course, feel free to introduce new shit- he’s flexible (but lbr, this dude just wants Billy Joel). When you’re not being forced to listen to “We Didn’t Start the Fire” for the millionth time, the two of you are playing card games, sneaking off to arcades and movies, and even possibly going to visit Hughie’s dad or Annie. Whether you’re on the train, the couch, or (M.M forbid) laying on the disgusting floor, you and Hughie are damn-near always sharing earbuds to listen to music. Hughie would really enjoy just people watching with you. Seeing people live normal lives, happy and (relatively) safe- it makes him believe he could have that one day, ideally with his friends and family- that includes you. The playful/nerdy banter between you two is considered to be the most wholesome part of the crew.

Frenchie I wanna get high w you please- ahem- Yeah Frenchie likes to do a lot of drugs- but he won’t be offended if you decline. Usually, Kimiko and Frenchie come as a pair, so with you, they’re a happy trio! Together, you and Frenchie will request songs for Kimiko to play on the keyboard, the three of you will dance to whatever is playing on Kimiko’s iPod, you and Frenchie learn/practice Kimiko’s sign language, you and Kimiko entertain Frenchie’s high shenanigans (and pull him back when he goes too far)- basically any and everything you can do, you do together. Hope you have space in your brain for two more languages because alongside Kimiko’s SL, Serge would absolutely die if you learned any French- even you just learning the basics would melt his heart. Frenchie often encourages you and Kimiko to sneak out with him to go on “dates” (lowkey thruple coded) to small, hole-in-the-wall bars and restaurants. He’s for sure going to ask your opinions on chemistry or whatever the fuck while he’s making/studying bombs. He’s not miffed if you don’t know or can’t answer- often times he’s talking to himself anyways- but any feedback is always appreciated.

M.M would really appreciate a grounding presence in the crew- and that’s exactly what you helped provide. You helped balance the ratio of crazy to insane within the group, and for that, M.M is eternally grateful. Often times, while he’s cleaning/organizing equipment, you’ll keep him company. This often turns into M.M opening up about his family, OCD, concerns he has about the Boys, etc. He’s a firm believer in hard work, discipline and learning so you won’t just be standing around while you talk and listen- oh no, he’s showing you the way- the proper way- to clean the weapons, disinfect the counters, organize the shelves- hell, he’ll even ration out some supplies so he can teach you some first aid/sutures. It’ll probably be a while before you get through to M.M’s softer side, but it’s totally worth it to get there. M.M wants the best for his crew, and though it’s tough love, the rigorous lessons are all taught in hopes of you being able to protect yourself (and keep the hideout tidy).

Happy trio part 2! Nobody expected the quiet, intimidating Kimiko to enjoy music and art as much as she does. You and Frenchie are her biggest fans and supporters, and often show her new music to listen to- if you’re lucky, you can get some pirated versions of old cartoons to watch together. Kimiko loves dancing and listening to/playing music- and since you and Frenchie usually indulge her, that’s what you spend a lot of your time doing. The others call it goofing off- you three call it a healthy dose of fun. When Frenchie is out, Kimiko spends a lot of time teaching you her SL so that you can talk without Frenchie being the translator. Sure, typing on the phone is easier, but being able to have secret conversations with your friends is so much better, don’t you think? Talking shit about the others right in front of them is a treasured experience you, Kimiko and Frenchie share.

[deleteddewewted]

Poly! Price and Nikolai Headcannons

MDNI

W: Mild NSFW, Fluff, Poly! Relationship, Gn! Reader (Can be read as amab or afab reader)

Nik and Price were seeing each other already before they ever met you.

They had dated for a long time and slowly introduced the idea to each other of adding a third to their relationship.

They both were new to the idea of polyamory or adding a third partner as a whole as they had spent a large part of their lives just being the two of them.

They sat you down, wine, and dined you, and in the end, explained why they wanted to talk to you.

The three of you have known each other for a while so when you get together as a thruple, it felt natural.

They were upset when you didn't immediately move in with them but they didn't want to push it if you weren't ready to move in with them.

They had bought their home a long while ago when they were both younger

Nik makes sure to spoil the two of you. He gets Price his favorite cigars even though he wishes his husband would kick the habit but with you, he indulges you without question.

Price is the same with Nikolai and you, though, he shows his affection through spending time with you both.

The three of you make a schedule on who's favorite activity you're going to do and rotate because if you don't organize you all forget what you're doing and the routine gets messed up.

They like to cook together. They expanded the kitchen just so the three of you could cook together without hassle.

When you still lived in your own place, they would make sure to pamper you since they didn't share their space with you yet. They would hold you, cook for you, make sure you were taken care of in general.

Nikolai hates doing chores like cleaning so he tells you and Price that if you both give him the filthiest French kiss you can manage he'll do it without complaining. (You both make sure he's fucked out of his mind and watch as he struggles to clean while hickeys, bite marks, and cum drips down his exposed lower half. Sometimes you both like to tease him while he's cleaning just to see him flustered and needy.)

They get you a ring and propose to you during a break they managed to get. The three of you flew out to a country you've been wanting to visit for a while and when the moment was right, they both proposed to you

The wedding was just with the people you three were closest to and was overall a blast.

Nick got shitfaced, Price was wanting to dance with you both the entire night, and you were eager to get them both started on the honeymoon.

Post-honeymoon, they continued to be as devoted and as charming as before. The only difference is that they now have to fully worry about you.

They took care of you while sick, they helped you dress, they worshiped you.

God knows you are all afraid of the possibility of never coming back. You all fear not ever being able to sleep in the same bed or whisper "I love you's" throughout the day.

No matter how scared, they still promise to come back to you, to each other.

No matter the harshness of the assignment, they always try to reach out to you so you know their still alive and thinking of you.

They'll find a way to retire or at least make sure your life is comfortable if they were to pass away.

[iamthecomet]

What are the ghouls dressing up as for Halloween this year??

I'm so happy you asked! Cumulus: A Rainbow. Part one of a thruple costume with Cirrus and Sunshine. She knitted some rainbow legwarmers. Found a rainbow striped dress. Summons cumulus clouds to wrap around her horns. But also piles her hair up like one for added effect.

Cirrus: A thunderstorm. Part two the thruple costume. Wears gray leggings and a crop top. Summons thunderheads (complete with little flashes of lightning) to circle her horns.

Sunshine: Part three of the thruple costume. Her namesake. Wears bright yellow. Summons light to make herself literally glow. Covers her entire body in gold glitter for unknown reasons. Aurora: Pennywise from IT. Leaves red balloons around the Abbey in terrifying places. Also spends the day hiding under the furniture and going "georgieee" at every ghoul and sibling who walks by. Mountain: One of the talking trees from the Wizard of OZ. Made from real tree parts. Horrifyingly, the tree part actually talks. No one can figure out how he did and they're all afraid to ask. Aeon: Dresses up as Aurora. She does his make-up and lends him her clothes. Where he got a wig that looks exactly like her hair, no one knows. The heels are a mystery too, but literally no on is complaining. Rain: A Victorian era vampire. White shirt with flowy sleeves. A fitted double-breasted vest. Black pants. Yes, that is real blood on his collar. Dewdrop: The vampire's bride. Couple's costume with Rain. Wears a deep red ballgown. Yes, the nasty bite on his neck is real. Swiss: French maid. The costume is a little small and he insists on bending over in front of his pack mates every chance he gets. He is not wearing underwear. Aether: A Banana. He went to Spirit with the intention of being something sexy, something different. But once the banana costume caught his eye, it was all over. Bonus: Mist: The Kraken. Zephyr: Hermes. Ifrit: Baphomet--boobs included.

[raapija]

Asks to fight boredom

Rank these Lance ships from least favorite to favorite

Lance x Pierre

Lance x Esteban

Lance x Mick

Lance x George

Lance x Sebastian

And of course, everyone’s favorite….

Lance x Dinner

OH, THIS IS GOOD 👀

Lance × Dinner is number one of course, no one comes between him and his snacking 💚 Not even Fernando could tear him away from french fries and apple pie

Lance × Esteban, I love their friendship so much... Esteban has been his one true friend since the beginning and they love each other so much no matter what 😭❤️

Lance × Sebastian, I should've appreciated this pairing more when it happened... Seb is always the dream boyfriend and they were so sweet together ;_; 💕 Seb was the gateway to old men that Lance later embraced with Nando 😘

Lance × Mick, I love how Esteban became besties with Mick and then Lance was added to the thruple so he didn't feel left out 💚💚 Mick would take such good care of Lance, I just know it...

Lance × George, I see the vision, I see the vibe, but personally my blood-feud with George means I can't get around to liking him 😭 The idea is intriguing, but... nah 😅

Lance × Pierre, for some reason I have never liked Pierre 💀 He's kinda.... weird to me. I like his thing he has with Yuki, though, and that's the true pairing for him 🙏 With Lance... I don't see anything happening 🫠

Honorable mention:

Lance × Checo, like... they definitely did it at least once. No human being could resist Pink Lance with his long hair and cute smile.... And Checo has always been so nice to Lance 😘❤️ Checo is like a summer fling you have on holiday and think about fondly 20 years later, wondering what ever happened to that person that made you so happy for a short while and never saw again.... ugh... someone write this fic for me, please...

[larkral]

AFTG Thoughts

My very important thoughts on AFTG (having now finished the series). Organized by sections as: Exy, non-Andreil relationships, Adult real life logistics, and other strong but uncategorizable feelings.

I am having lots of Andreil feelings as well, but this is not them. This is the other things. My other very strong takeaways.

Exy

Exy would absolutely for fucking sure not be an Olympic sport, or a 60k seat stadium NCAA sport after ~20 years of game play. Absolutely not. I played Roller Derby for 5 years. Modern Roller Derby is a sport with a meaningful history and following and regulation bodies, and extremely amazing athletes. This isn’t a perfect case study, given that derby is grassroots, and Exy is meant to have been fully designed by 2 people, but this was an area I had to very intentionally suspend my disbelief whenever it came up.

This book also absolutely would not be as compelling to me as a non-sports-person if it were about a real sport. Because listen, I love lacrosse and I appreciate hockey and I nod casually in the direction of soccer/football, but using a made up sport made this book approachable and interesting for me. I didn’t have to think “is this a real reference I need to know more about to earnestly appreciate this plot?” Because nope. It for sure wouldn’t be. Also I didn’t have to attempt to overcome my sports people prejudices/stereotypes, because I don’t have any of those about Exy.

The refs are *outside* the court? Sus.

That plexi has to get very smudgey very quickly. How do they clean it? This seems like a problem for spectators and (see above) refs.

Why is it called Exy? I don’t hate it, it’s just like...such a prescription drug name. 

Non-Andreil relationships

Kudos to this series for having not a lot of relationship drama aside from...you know, the big one. I appreciate that this series wasn’t rife with drama in relationships

However: long distance relationships are so dramatic and hard and I don’t believe that Kevin/Thea and Nicky/Erik would have survived the series unscathed. I didn’t want to actually have to read more about either of those relationships, but neither struck me as particularly real.

Betsey/Wymack/Abby -- thruple. C’mon.

Adult real life logistics

Oh my god, no insurance agent ever in the history of real life would ever think that Andrew’s car wasn’t totaled after being vandalized as described. They’d cut him a check in like...two days. Though also as someone who has had a car totaled this year, it’s a fucking hassle no matter what.

Who is maintaining Nicky’s house!? Houses are energy pits. If he owns that house, someone needs to be up in there changing the furnace filter and flushing the water heater and oiling the garage door springs. And he sure isn’t.

Other strong but uncategorizable feelings

Before reading this series I was like “why would any person attend school and be there primarily in order to play a sport” but actually I kind of get it now?

KEVIN you are not supposed to meaningfully sweat for several weeks after getting a tattoo!

Why would a building planning official accept sleeping quarters underground that didn’t have egress? I guess bribes from gangsters. But c’mon. The Raven’s Nest would be condemned immediately!

I can believe that Nicky is fluent in German, and that Jean and Kevin are fluent in French, but the rest of them almost certainly wouldn’t be fluent enough to carry out the conversations as written. Totally willing to suspend my disbelief on it, though.

Man that Nathaniel/Neil section? I died. I knew what was happening and it still brought me to my knees.

[karatam]

Read this month (early 2022)

The Thousand Names by Django Wexler. It's "flintlock fantasy" aka set in a fantasy world with magic with technology/politics similar to the early 1700's, particularly French society. Mainly follows two characters in a colonial army, who think they're just following orders to help a (corrupt) prince retake his throne, but really the colonel in charge has a very different goal (which involves lost magic). One of the main characters is a lesbian who cross-dressed as a man to join the army and escape her former life, which was a fun surprise. Definitely a setup novel for the rest of the series (it's #1 of 5) bc there's a LOT of unanswered questions right now.

The Shadow Throne by Django Wexler (sequel to above). It got gay! Also added in my new fave character in Raesinia, whom I adore. Moved the centre of action away from the "frontier" to basically fantasy Paris, where we get a lot more politics and rebellions. Definitely looking forward to the rest of the series.

Elantris by Brandon Sanderson (reread). Still the best way to get into Sanderson's work, which I do sincerely think is some of the best fantasy written in the last 20 years. This is a stand-alone set in a world where the magical city at the pinnacle of the world collapsed about 20 years ago. And instead of people suddenly being imbued with magic and heading to that city, they're struck by a plague and thrown in against their will. Full or political manoeuvring, incredibly inventive magic, an invading nation, and enemies-to-lovers. Love this book.

Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson (reread). First of the Mistborn trilogy and one of my fave books ever. Set in a world ruled by an immortal, magical, powerful God King, we meet Vin, a street urchin who has the ability to 'burn' metal to access magic. She gets swept up in a rebellion and attempts to both understand her magic and stay alive. Super inventive magic, heist hijinks, found family, and yet another super inventive magic system.

Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao. What if Pacific Rim jaegers required a boy-girl pair, and the boy pilot killed every girl he piloted with, absorbing her soul's energy to pilot his giant robot? And then what if one day, one of those girls killed the boy instead? Set in an alternate world where an bug-like alien species has nearly taken over the world, these giant robots are the last defense, and Zetian has no patience for the bureaucracy that wants to put her back in her place. (tw for sexual assault, ptsd) As advertised, it includes an f/m/m thruple :)

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine. Holy shit this book is amazing. This is a book meant to be slowly and deliberately read, focused on and analyzed as you go. An new ambassador from a small space station arrives at the planetary capital of the Teixcalaanli Empire, only to discover that her predecessor has died and there are multiple factions all gunning for the throne. This is a world that venerates poets and language, and that comes through in the prose of the book. It's beautiful. I'm eagerly waiting for my copy of the sequel to arrive from the library.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Can you talk about some favorite ships/pairings you two have in common? This blog is so fun btw!

Aww thank you! We're glad you find it fun to visit!

Unfortunately it's not a very shippy blog, and neither of us really align our fannishness in that way. We don't have any inherent love for any particular ships, so it's mostly about our interest in whatever the fanfic/art chooses to do with it! Also 💖💖 GEN 💖💖~

As far as ships we specifically have in common, the three we've come to on our own and legitimately talked about the most in this, the year 2022, are:

BRMverse: Byakuya/Aizen/Hitsugaya

See: This post, this post and this post, which is really all the explanation this one needs. But for the sake of being thorough, some important context: If you haven’t seen the Bleach Rock Musicals, the #1 thing you need to know is that everyone is very definitely fucking absolutely everyone else. It is one big horny tuneless orgy. Whether you ship anything outside of BRMverse or not, every ship is canon in the World of BRM. This isn’t part of the ship in question (BRM!Hitsugaya is perpetually on a spree) but like, there is also no gen explanation for this:

Like, WHAT IS THAT. WHAT WAS THAT.

WHAT IS THIS FACE:

BRM is an entity unto itself, but BRM!Hitsugaya is an Entity. I love him.

BRM/Manga Spreadverse Xover: Byakuya/Zaraki/Hitsugaya

The irrefutable proof of the canonicity of this pairing is in the fact that Byakuya and Zaraki have color-coordinated their outfits here:

Did they leave the house together? Make arrangements beforehand? Psychically gravitate toward the same color combination? Who knows but they're on a wavelength. Please also note that if cared for differently, Zaraki's hair could mimic Byakuya's. In this scenario, maybe Sasakibe, Zaraki’s #1 bathhouse bro, helps him out with this. Just imagine: The Kuchiki-Zaraki wedding, Zaraki in full kenseikan. Byakuya in... bells? 

Where is Hitsugaya in this equation? Well, uh.... idk, there are dragons on Zaraki's shirt and he was in the previous thruple. After Aizen's defection, BRMverse Byakuya and Hitsugaya needed someone to fill the Aizen-shaped hole in their lives (.̷̦̔.̴̣̅.̸̰͝A̴̺͠Ń̸̞D̴̯̒ ̷̳̑T̸̜̈́H̴̖͆Ḛ̴̈́I̸̻̅R̵̦̆ ̵̗̍B̵͎̀Ẻ̶̼D̸̺̒.̷̪͒.̵̢̕.̸̟́). Also, the three of them legit bonded during the Reigai arc. Maybe he's their polyamorous weekend warrior who comes over on Sundays to play boardgames and eat brunch.

Bleach, No Caveats: Hisagi/Akon

Okay, this one is more serious. I would totally write this one. (edit: after writing the entire spiel I realize it does not sound serious. I promise you if I wrote it it would be severely serious.) 

Akon has the hookup on torrents from the Living World, and is somewhat well-known in various circles for being a big movie buff. He's also the only one in Soul Society who has watched all of the Fast and Furious movies with Hisagi. We're talking all 9, AND the two shorts, AND Hobbes & Shaw. Akon does not like the Fast and Furious movies. He only tolerates them. But there is no truer expression of love than watching all of the Fast and Furious movies with someone. What does Akon get out of this? Well, Hisagi immediately volunteers to watch any movie that Akon wants to watch, too--which is a blank check that no one else in all of the 12th has ever agreed to, with good reason. And Hisagi will sit through Akon’s long meditations on film theory and the French New Wave, and its connections to similar movements after the Iranian Revolution--and seems to mostly understand them, to boot.

But the main boon here is Hisagi's own meditations on The Fast and the Furious--the postmodern cinematography of 2 Fast 2 Furious, etc. Most of it has absolutely no basis in any reality, but that's what makes Hisagi's takes so interesting. He can take the clunkiest, most thematically vapid flick and turn it into an ambitious theorization of... Paul Walker's T-shirt colors? Thrilling.

Akon often makes a point of weaving subtle references or lines from the Fast movies into conversation with Hisagi, just so Hisagi knows he was paying attention. Memory for random and inconsequential detail is Hisagi's love language, so... If Akon so much as utters the phrase "precision drivers" it's blush city.

To demonstrate how serious we are about this, I want to point out that Hisagi/Akon’s Dieselsexual relationship is one of this blog’s longest-standing headcanons:

Akon’s birthday gift to Hisagi was agreeing to watch “the new Fast and Furious” with him (given that the release of Fast movies over the last 20 years has been very consistent, this holds valid for basically any point in Bleach canon).

Hisagi’s style cues were clearly inspired by The Fast and the Furious, too.

[bellaslilpapercut]

thoughts on Laurent?

I really really like him!! In my HC, he Victoria and James are a thruple because why not, and he often serves as the voice of reason. I see James as the more volatile one (which is also pretty close to canon) and Victoria as the avoidant one but Laurent is very used to playing the role of diplomat from his time in Versailles. Also because Versailles was a fucking mess, I think Laurent would have such a fun personality. Like the social norms that arise from being in a cloistered living situation with allies and enemies and petty spite are soooo funny to me. Just ripe with potential for how that could affect Laurent's perspective, attitude, and mannerisms. I could see him as an expert in passive aggression when he feels like it and I think that also would have been fun to see come out when he left Victoria and James for Irina. Can you imagine a prerevolutionary french Noble living with three ancient sisters from Slovakia (which iirc didn't actually exist when the sisters were supposed to have been created??) all equally set in their ways and routines living in a big old house together? Maybe I'm reality tv poisoned but I would definitely watch that lolol. My other loose HCs for Laurent are that he is a polyglot, has excellent handwriting in any language, definitely would still be into swords a little bit, and hates dirt and blood. I can see him being the neatest eater of the vampires and he would definitely not care to stick to the "vegetarian" diet for long at all.

[tothatmanonthebridge]

Review: Start Trek - The Original Series 'Charlie X' (S1 Ep2)

I don’t know what it is about the name Charlie, but you’ll never see a sexy male Charlie on screen. Sexy Charles, sure, look no further than J. August Richards, but Charlie is always a creep or a child. And here he’s both.

Still, I feel for Charlie in this episode, no matter how off-putting his behaviour is, the actor really manages to convey his confusion and eagerness to be loved. By the end, I was genuinely distressed by his pleas to stay. It was an unsettling ending to the episode.

Also Charlie in the gym is me. Thank the PTB that high school is over.

Although Kirk can tackle me to the ground any time…This episode is what really drew me into the show, and I think works far better than the thematically similar episode ‘Where No Man has Gone Before’, which I saw right after this one (although I believe it was produced first?).

What the plunger is to Doctor Who, Plum’s upside down foot step machine is to Star Trek… or maybe not. I will say this show does a lot with very little, and I for one think it looks great most of the time. The clean lines and bold colours set the tone really well. When Star Trek aired on French TV when my mum was a child, it was in black and white. She hated it, thought it was the most boring, uninspired spectacle since the Shat-Lord discovered twitter, and I can imagine a lot of the magic would have been lost without the colour. Also there is nothing I hate more than a French dub.

Rand has been one of my favourite characters so far, although I’ve got to say, I think it’s less to do with what she’s given to work with, and more to do with what Grace Lee Whitney brings to the role. On paper, she’s a boring trope and a passive character, treated more like an object by the plot and male characters. But Whitney infuses her with these fascinating little quirks, which makes her an absolute delight to watch. This episode also really manages to convey a sense of camaraderie between the characters and crewmates, notably during the rec scene, before Charlie comes and spoils the fun. It really feels like these people have been stuck on the ship together for a while. Uhura is passing the time by objectifying Spock and to be honest… same. Plum, Spock, and Kirk’s dynamic is also really great already. They sound like an old married thruple.

And the look Spock gives Kirk when the captain beats him at 3D chess, makes me feel all funny inside…What did you folks think of Charlie X? Insightful or boring? What would you do if an all-powerful sexually frustrated adolescent took over your spaceship? Are Kirk and Spock boyfriends or life partners? Discuss!

[scribbleb-red]

Honey, I’m home - A Morning AU

When Neil and Andrew buy their first house together, it’s a bit of a shitshow. 

They both manage to come down to the house for a long weekend, and they unload the boxes and shelves without too much trouble - not like either carry much with them, even now.

They sleep on a mattress in their soon-to-be bedroom and laugh and laugh (or Neil laughs and Andrew’s face twitches, which is basically a laugh for him) as they cheers to being together and watch the cats sniff around their new home.

But Andrew has to go back to Denver on the Monday morning - he rolls over and pulls Neil tight and kisses the space between his shoulder blades, quietly wishing he didn’t have to go, even briefly.

He’ll be back, it’s only three weeks. 

His asshole coach just won’t let him out of his contract early despite the end to their playing season.

Neil is soft and rumpled in the morning light - hair lightened by the sun, freckles clear against his warm, gold skin. 

Andrew would keep him close as long as possible. Neil doesn’t stir for a few minutes, waking with a cattish yawn and stretch before burrowing closer to Andrew.

The sound is all Neil and it makes Andrew’s chest feel warm and tight and he’s beyond hate for this feeling.

He despises leaving even more. 

His head is full of warm smiles. His skin remembers warm hands and warmer kisses. His throat will wear the marks on it until he next sees Neil. It’s not enough. 

But it’ll have to do for now.

*

Neil - of course - should not be allowed to manage a house on his own. 

Free of the exy season, he’s determined to make the house a home by the time Andrew comes back. 

It does not end well.

Day 1, he forgets to shut the catflap and the cats escape into the garden, with Neil spending hours panicking over them. 

Day 2, the sofa arrives. Neil mismeasured the doorway and it doesn’t fit. Day 3, the wall Neil’s painting is too tall for him, even standing on a chair.

Matt and Dan come to the rescue the first weekend. 

Neil is frazzled and apparently refuses to call Andrew because he knows he’ll hear the panic in his voice and that’ll make things harder for Andrew being away and that’s not fair to either of them because it’s already shit and—

Matt gives Neil the biggest hug and paints the sodding wall that Neil can’t reach - and then the other walls that need touch ups too. 

Dan remeasures the door and helps Neil find a sofa. It’ll be delivered ‘soon’, which apparently means three to eight weeks.

“It can’t come for when Andrew’s back?” 

“Sorry sweetie,” Dan strokes his hair that night, after they’ve eaten takeout on the living room floor with paper plates. “But it won’t be long.”

They help him with the dining room, this at least isn’t too hard. 

Andrew had found an antique table and some white painted chairs - the whole thing looks okay. 

One room is okay, Neil thinks. That’s good.

The kitchen, Neil really doesn’t get. He enlists Nicky over the phone and ends up with multicoloured dishes from anthropology and a myriad of utensils that he’s fairly certain started life as torture devices. 

Nicky does let Erik guide him through pots and pans and such. “You’ve seriously only got a wok? Really?” 

Neil shrugs. It cooks everything he knows how to cook - which is basically dahl or stirfry. He doesn’t get why this is such a big deal.

Job ticked, he asks Allison about decor and she just howls. 

“Don’t even try, babe,” she says, “Wait for Andrew - he at least has style, if nothing else.”  

But she sees his dejected expression over FaceTime and sighs. 

“Fine, I’ll be there Saturday.”

So Saturday happens and Allison does things to Neil’s living room that should be illegal - but at least it looks, kinda nice? 

“Kinda? It looks modern af, and your boyfriend will love it.” 

It’s minimal and bright and she’s overexposed one wall where she’s hung a dozen photos.

“It’s a feature wall,” she says. “Don’t fuck it up.”

Neil tries not to take it to heart - but this house isn’t for him right now, it’s for Andrew and he wants to make sure it’s okay for *them*, together. 

“Does it feel like us?” He asks the cats when Allison is gone. 

King offers a slow blink. Sir licks her bits and walks away.

*

End of week two, Neil speaks to Andrew, falls asleep on the phone to him after sending every photo of every room to him. 

Before he drifts off, Andrew says he likes it. Maybe they can colour code the bookcase when he’s back. 

Neil likes the idea of doing something together.

*

Still - no bed frame, no sofa - things feel cosmetic. 

Neil manages to get a frame but can’t put it together. He stares hopelessly after a few hours, ikea DIY beyond him. 

The cats escape again. This time, no sign of King for a whole day, but she comes home for dinner.

The plumbing goes a bit weird - pressure doing weird things so he bleeds the radiators, which sprays water all over his new walls. 

Then the boiler goes. Something to do with the flue.

It’s cold and Neil hates the cold - reminds him too much of being alone and on the run and homeless (and there’s a reason he ended up in Millport where it was too hot most of the time).

He calls Andrew and tries not to sound too awful but Andrew hears the stress there. 

“Don’t run, rabbit. I’m nearly home.” 

“I know, I know, I’m not thinking of running. I just...” miss you, he doesn’t say.

Andrew still hears him. “Me too,” he says. 

And they breathe together.

Kevin, weirdly, is the one who comes to fix Neil’s boiler. Apparently he had a similar problem and he brings Jeremy Knox with him. 

“Dad was a plumber,” Knox explains. “Well, was before he started his own company and grew it - but he made sure we all knew how to fix a boiler.”

So the boiler is fixed and Kevin helps Neil with the bed - and Jean oversees with a scornful little tip of his chin. 

At lunchtime, Jean makes a veritable French feast - all cheeses and meats and colourful treats. 

Neil feels looked after and strangely fond of the thruple.

“Don’t ruin it by being grateful,” Jean warns him. “Kevin will bring it up for years if you say thank you.” 

So Neil smiles and eats and stays quiet.

Jeremy warns him that the fix isn’t permanent - they’ll need a new boiler sooner rather than later but this should tide them over. Neil doesn’t care - at least Andrew can come home and have a hot shower. At least *he* can have a hot shower tonight.

*

Andrew comes home a day early - he told his coach he was going and was gone. 

He walks in to find Neil curled up on the worst chaise he’s ever seen - clearly a donation to help them get from now to sofa. 

But Neil is beautiful.

The cats are curled close to him. The afternoon sun pale and bright. 

He wakes Neil with a kiss to his forehead, another to his nose. 

“Honey,” he says with a stupid twitch of his lips, “I’m home.”

The End

[jesse-mills]

Convenience Store AU

Quick summary: Jesse dies on the beach and wakes up in a convenience store back near Crestwood. A dimension in which Jesse has sick new tattoos, the OA looks like an actual goddamn angel, French is a nerd ass loser who's been pining for Jesse for like 2 years, and everyone gets to be happy.

[[MORE]]

(apologies for awful formatting, this was so fucking long that I got tired of trying to make it read perfectly.)

ok so after Jesse dies it's just. dark for a long ass time right? but he wakes up to blinding light and it takes a moment for his eyes to focus. his first thought is "is heaven a 7/11?" and his second thought is "OH SHIT OA?!?!?" She found him passed out in the middle of the store aisle when she came in from the back room and after a very confused minute of conversation they realize that oh shit, it's the real OG them from the Crestwood dimension. so OA basically hires Jesse on the spot and Jesse has to help her get Hap (the manager, he's suppressed in this body but still a jackass of monumental proportions) kicked out and sent somewhere else. They do succeed after a few weeks (aka they get everyone to file complaints about him until he's relocated to somewhere out of state).

Jesse, however, has a Hell Of A Lot of new things to adjust to, the first of which being that What The Fuck, he looked in the mirror and he has fucking moving tattoos that Definitely weren't there before!! Turns out this dimension has such a thin membrane between it and the invisible river of the Between, weird ass shit tends to happen around people who have travelled through worlds. Jesse soon finds out that he isn't the only one with weird shit happening to him: the angels from the lab, especially OA, have some definite traditional angelic characteristics. OA has a ton of extra eyes on her face and neck and like. everywhere so she tends to wear gauzy scarves around her neck and ling sleeves everywhere. nothing can really be done about the ones on her face but she doesn't really show her face anywhere anyways so it's not that big a deal for her. Homer works at a patisserie in town and has extra eyes on his arms and back, as well as extra mouths on his hands (he wears gloves during work, don't ask). Rachel works there with him (and yes they're all in a thruple because. Oachel rights yo) and has extra vocal chords as well so her singing sounds absolutely ethereal. (She convinced Homer to hire Buck and Angie to work with him there after the OA told them about them.) Scott doesn't have too many extra weird eyes but his hair grows flowers and though he acts pissy about it he secretly really likes them. He works as the town's electrician and Steve apprentices under him. Renata tours around and always brings them back gifts from places she visits, and has both extra eyes on her arms that become part of her signature style (she claims it's prosthetics for the press) and a second mouth beneath her collarbone hidden under scarves so she can harmonize with herself.

BBA already works at the school and so knows them all already, and she shops at the convenience store for snacks at night during Jesse's shift and so is already close to him. She slowly puts the puzzle together herself, but in a very peaceful, calm manner; basically, she notices that he's acting different but doesn't throw a fuss about it ("I think Jesse's a different Jesse now. Hm. I'll ask if he still likes shortbread next time I go."). Lucky for Jesse, BBA and the angels all kind of adopt him.

Why do they keep working at the store after Hap leaves? a) it pays bills and like. they need to eat. and b) it's something to do, it's a normal part of a normal life that lets them spend time with each other and feel like they can finally live happy lives. Plus, Jesse and OA both desperately want to contact their home dimension and tell the others that they're okay, so the store provides a good space to do that.

and then French walks in the door one night because Olive Garden fired him and he needs to support his brothers and mom, and Jesse's world suddenly becomes a Hell of a lot more convoluted. French is confused when the pretty boy from school he was always too nervous to talk to looks up from the front counter and chokes on his drink; he's even more confused when Jesse stays bright red through their entire awkward conversation of "I need a job, are you hiring?" "UH. we are now. let me go grab the paperwork" (read: gay hyperventilating behind the backroom door for the minutes before grabbing the papers.) French is very concerned when as soon as he signs his name the paper just. crumbles to ash without any warning but Jesse just sweeps it into the bin and says "yeah you're hired, UHHH what hours???? work for you????? actually just come in when it does work and we'll get you started okay goodbye!!!" Of course night shift works best for French so Jesse has a mini conniption when French walks in the next night an hour after Jesse gets there and asks if he can start working Now.

French is a fucking NERD ASS LOSER in this dimension. so he's very confused when after a week of training almost nightly (hey, he needs to provide, yo) Steve, his old bully, walks in and greets him very nicely and apologizes for anything he did in high school (he does not notice Jesse glaring at Steve. he is also not aware of Jesse calling Steve the first night he came in and incoherently rambling for twenty minutes straight before yelling "I'M GAY" and hanging up. Steve was confused because didn't Jesse come out in like 10th grade to him??? he didn't bully French for being gay he bullied him for being a nerd ass loser).

French also begins to notice that things are fucking weird in this convenience store, and by that I mean he walks in one night and Jesse is calmly reading a comic book while one of the freezers is literally emitting fucking fire. ("Jesse. Tell me you fucking realize that THE FREEZER IS ON FIRE." "Yeah, OA said to just leave it. Scott's gonna fix it later" "But. But it's on FIRE." "Yeah lol apparently she's been workin on portals without dying and opened a hell dimenson? haha wack right. Just keep the door closed and it'll be fine.") He ends up calling Steve (who is being almost suspiciously friendly now under threat of bodily harm, and who is genuinely trying to be a better person) to ask if this is normal after Jesse tells very seriously after setting up "wet floor signs" that he should stay away from the soda fountain, OA accidentally fucked with it and it's biting people. (French, talking to Steve over the phone: "Yeah dude and then it just fucking crumbled to ash and he said I was hired. Like what the fuck. What the fuck." "Oh yeah lol apparently her husband's shop does the same thing. Btw tell Jesse to stop hoarding snakes in the cupboards behind the desk bc I'm the one Scott sends to fix that shit." "...........SNAKES?!"

Jesse has a weird thing with snakes in this dimension since he 1) found a weird tattoo of a snake with wings that just roams around his body as it pleases and acts like a pet (yes he named it Ramen Noodle. no he does not have shame.) and 2) realized that he can basically charm snakes just by talking to them. Friend shaped noodles. French walks in one night to find Steve trying to convince Jesse to "take them out of the cupboards" and after French cautiously asks what's in the cupboards Jesse just opens it to reveal like 30 snakes that he rescued from the cold (French yells and almost falls on his ass. Steve just sighs as Jesse picks up a ton of them and lets them curl up around his arms). OA does bi-monthly snake banishing (read: making Jesse go to different animal shelters to give the snakes away during winter or releasing them into the wild in warmer weather). (For his birthday about three months in she and Homer and Rachel find him an albino boa constrictor and Jesse genuinely looks like he's about to pass out from joy. He names it Theo, and for some reason, BBA tears up when he tells her and gingerly pets the snake.)

And the thing is, French is such a skeptic that he just can't bring himself to take Jesse seriously when one night about a month in he locks the glass doors and sits down to tell French very seriously that he's not the original Jesse from this dimension. Jesse realizes that French won't very easily be convinced, so he just does his best to flippantly include it in conversation in the hopes that it will slowly convince him. Even after French notices the moving tattoos (he was staring at Jesse's stomach when he stretched one night and almost yelled when a weird, almost tentacle looking tattoo idly moved across his skin) he can't bring himself to believe it, even when he realizes Jesse's eyes are a odd, almost shifting blue as opposed to the warm brown he searched for in the halls every day of senior year, even when there's fire and weird portals and a manager who has even more eyes than her husband (Homer comes in often with baked goods for Jesse and French. the first time French saw what he thought was a prosthetic eye on the back of Homer's hand wink at him, he almost passed out.). What finally convinces him is when Hap comes back.

Hap' s consciousness somehow came through after almost four months of wondering what was wrong with his old job, and when he comes back, French is in the store early just as Jesse is getting there and Homer is about to pick up OA when Hap comes in and points a gun at him. He's yelling what French thinks is nonsense, about a rose window and Prairie and how she lied to him, but he knows better now, he knows, and French is dead sure he's going to die when OA starts yelling back that he's wouldn't dare harm him or any of her friends. He can see in the reflection of the mirror above the front desk that Hap looks deranged, and it's enough to convince him of two things: one, Hap is about to kill him, and two, Jesse was telling the truth all along. He's about to do something desperate, kick Hap or try to grab the gun, something, when there's movement in the mirror and he spots something heavy swinging towards them. He ducks just as Homer creeps up behind them and brains Hap with a piece of scrap metal. The cops are called and everything is mostly sorted out-- Hap, of course, is going to jail-- but French is still shellshocked from realizing that it's all real, that Jesse died and came back in this dimension and that there are angels that act more like his parents than his mother ever has. It's a shock to him, but he gradually adjusts, and Jesse begins slowly filling him in on their old life in the original Crestwood, how they came together when a once-blind victim of a kidnapping came back with vision and stories, how he died on a beach on the way to San Francisco after overdosing on an old man's pain medication. Eventually, he gets the go-ahead from OA to tell the others and fill them in on exactly what happened. They reunite as they're supposed to and eventually become just as tightly knit as they had been. The Steve from Crestwood eventually joins them and while it takes him some time to adjust, he's so thrilled to have Jesse back and that everything is okay here that he's content.

[blaze8403]

A ménage à trois is a domestic arrangement with three people sharing romantic or sexual relations with one another, and typically dwelling together. The phrase is a loan from French meaning "household of three". A form of polyamory, contemporary arrangements are sometimes identified as a throuple, thruple, or triad

[fakingitfanfiction]

Just For Me: Chapter 46

Previous Chapters

Seven years from now

What if?

Well, that’s just a loaded fucker of a question isn’t it? The kind most people know better than to ask, but knowing better and doing better… well… those are two very different things. Especially for Amy.

As we’ve established. More than once.

But that was all younger Amy and this is older Amy (though not that much older, and still looking good for her age, or any age, or so Reagan says), but, honestly, it’ll probably still take years or maybe decades for that particular lesson to really sink in and, clearly, it hasn’t just yet.

If it had… well…

Her sister would be speaking to her right now, now wouldn’t she?

There are more than a few things she’s done in her life that Amy’s second guessed. Or triple guessed (thruple guessed?) or quadruple or… ‘whatever the fuck five is’ guessed. It’s part of who she is, in her nature - right down to her DNA, and thank you very fucking much Jack and Farrah - and her nurture. Her mother (and Karma) and her disappearing father (and Karma) and, basically, the entirety of her high school existence (and Karma), at least the parts before Reagan, had her questioning everything, even her gayness and, even now, she still spends far too much time doubting her choices.

Not about her gayness, though. But, you know, about things like using (or even thinking) the word 'gayness’. And not about Reagan - who, sometimes (read: all the times) Amy’s so very exceptionally glad is fluent in speaking Amy - or her choice to forgive Jack or being OK with Karma and Lucy (or OK-ish, it’s a work in progress) or her choice to let Reagan name Katie cause, let’s face facts.

Katharine is a far better name than 'little ball of snot and poop that never lets me sleep’ even if that one might still be more accurate.

But, of all those things, this one, this very specific and very definitive and very 'how can you be so fucking stupid, don’t you remember what he did, and oh… I just called you 'stupid’ and that’s why you’re giving me that look right now, isn’t it, well… tough titty, cause I'm right’ one is so not among those things she’s second or third or fourth or infinity and fucking beyond guessed cause this one is her sister and this one is Theo and this one is so clear cut and so obvious that there’s no way even she can have gotten it wrong.

Except… you know… what if?

He cheated on her, she says. Except 'says’ was kinda only in her head and so… “He cheated on her,” she says, again and out loud this time and, apparently, much to the surprise of her wife and her brother-in-law who’s, now, her brother-in-law twice (bro in law squared?) and yeah, she knows that he knows that Theo cheated, maybe better than all of them, so “Why do you look so fucking surprised?”

Glenn shrugs and Amy steams cause that’s his default answer to everything. You want another beer? Shrug. You think the Stars will make the playoffs this year? Shrug. Is Lauren 100% the best thing to ever happen to you? Shrug.

He slept on the couch for a week after that one and, if baby Martin hadn’t developed a wicked case of 'oh, if I can’t sleep, then no one can colic’, Amy suspects - quite rightly - that Glenn’s banishment might have been longer.

Like, you know, until forever.

But, really, a shrug? For this?

“She’s going to invite him,” Amy says - and she makes sure to say it out loud the first time, this time - and then she corrects herself. “She’s going to invite them.”

Reagan eyes her across the counter, pausing in mid-sip of her way too fucking hot coffee (Amy doesn’t know how to make it any other way and her wife wishes, like with all her heart, that that might be one of those things she’d second guess), one brow lifting off just slightly at the way she said 'them’, hushed, in a whisper, like it’s a state secret she’s gotta hide away or some tiny bit of profanity she doesn’t want the baby to hear, or as if, by saying out loud, she might just magically conjure 'them’ up and make 'them’ appear.

No matter what she says or does, Reagan can never quite convince Amy that Harry Potter isn’t secretly real. It’s like a fucking religion with her, which she supposes - all religions considered - could be worse.

“Them,” Amy says, again, a bit louder this time as Glenn, apparently, didn’t reply fast enough and, Reagan knows, in the language of 'Amy’, speed often equals volume, which is annoying in conversation, but can be kinda… fun… in certain other ways. But this is not one of those ways and when Glenn shrugs - again - Amy wishes (almost out loud) that she could put him on the fucking couch.

(Not the fucking couch, as in the place of the fucking, but the other kind of fucking couch and no, she doesn’t really know how to explain the difference but see, this is what happens when that damn man gets her all worked up like this.)

(And not worked up like that and oh, that all sounded less dirty before she said it so, fortunately, she only said it to herself.)

(This time.)

What kind of couch doesn’t matter (much) cause what does matter is that “She’s going to invite her ex-husband and his wife and their kid to your son’s baptism.” Amy’s damn near yelling now and Reagan hopes Lolo stays upstairs with the baby cause, really, the silent fucking War of the Roses thing she and Amy have going on now is bad enough without Amy finding a way to make it worse.

You know, like Amy does.

“He’s her son, too, you know,” Glenn says, without so much as even a hint of a shrug and Amy immediately misses it, though she doesn’t miss the smirk on her wife’s face - Reagan loves the way her brother can get under her wife’s skin - and oh, someone’s definitely gonna be couching it tonight. “And,” Glenn adds, much to Amy’s even further annoyance, “she can invite whoever she’d like. What do you want me to do? Forbid her?” He shakes his head. “I’m not Lauren’s boss, Amy.”

That, it should be noted, was in their wedding vows.

I, Glenn Ramon Solis, promise to love, honor, and cherish you, Lauren Elizabeth Cooper, and to always remember that I am your partner and that you are not the boss of me, usually, just as I am not the boss of you.

Ever.

Amy remembers the words (almost as clearly as she remembers trying not to snort out loud at the ceremony) and she knows Glenn takes his vows seriously, like they were, you know, vows and that that isn't just because he’s (rightfully) terrified of his wife.

It’s also (read: mostly) (read: like sickeningly, worshipfully, damn near painfully) cause he loves his wife, in a way Amy didn’t know anyone could love anyone else - at least anyone that wasn’t her and Reagan - and in a way that makes her almost grateful Theo was (is) such a dirty, rotten cheating fuckwit.

If she could have chosen a man for her sister, Amy knows that man would have been a lot like Glenn.

Just, you know, a little less shrug-y and a lot more listening to her-y.

Amy hangs her head - sensing defeat, already - and curses under her breath, dropping a nearly inaudible 'mierda’ (with an almost passable accent), and Reagan smiles at the way her wife’s still stuck in the habit of swearing in Spanish, the little trick they picked up when Katie was still a tiny tiny and they were trying not to expose her to 'all the Goddamned profanity you two use’, as Farrah put it (without a single drop of irony.) Spanish - and a bit of French and a couple of really useful all purpose Portuguese cusses Karma taught them - was their compromise when going cold turkey just didn’t work.

After all, asking them to cut the four letter words out of their vocabulary was like asking Amy to cut bacon out of her diet or asking Karma to cut plans out of her… plans… or asking Lauren to stop hating Theo and… oh…

Yeah. Maybe, apparently, not the best example.

Amy knows she’s not going to convince Glenn to put his foot down and knows even better that it would only result in a foot up his ass if he did, so she tries another angle. “So, you’re telling me that you're OK with this?” she asks and Glenn doesn’t shrug (so Amy doesn't punch) but he also doesn’t say 'yes’ or 'no’ or 'not exactly’ or, even, 'Lauren’s OK with it and since I’d like to sleep in my bed sometime before my son gets to high school, yes, I’m just fucking fine with it and thank you for asking’ so, clearly, he’s somewhat less than OK and while that probably doesn’t matter, it’s still something.

Something, Reagan knows, Amy’s going to seize on and not let go and while there are certain times (read: in bed) (read: or the shower or the beach or that one time in the Planter’s parking lot) when she’s so very grateful for her wife's… determination… this doesn’t strike her as one of those times. “Shrimps, baby, maybe this is something you should leave for Lolo and -”

Remember that question? What if?

What if, in that moment, Amy doesn’t hold up a hand to shush her wife? Or, what if, she doesn’t shush her and walk right past her - like she’s not even there - crossing the kitchen to stand just a bit closer to Glenn? Or, what if, she doesn't ignore Reagan’s warning and doesn't keep right on pushing the issue and doesn’t, as only Amy can, make it even worse by not noticing Lauren standing in the kitchen door?

Well, if Amy hadn’t done any of that, then maybe she wouldn’t have had to spend an hour that night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in on the recliner in her office cause she sure as fuck wasn’t sleeping in the bed and oh, funny thing, Reagan just happened to… suggest to Katie (the kid) and Lucky (the lab) and Ruby (the beagle) that they have a 'camping out night’ on the couch.

And oh, if only that had been her only problem. But it wasn’t - it so wasn’t - cause, see, as little as Amy’s learned about not second guessing herself, she’s learned even less about recognizing signs, like when someone knows something but, really, that something is none of your business or when, maybe, there’s a secret that someone - or a couple someones, or maybe a thruple of someones - is keeping and you ought to just fucking trust them that keeping it from you is for your own good.

Or, you know, theirs.

“He fucking cheated on her, Glenn,” Amy says, still ignoring Reagan’s frantic and almost pained and pleading 'Shrimps’. “Theo cheated on her in her bed and he broke her heart and he ruined her damn life.”

The words leave her mouth and she hears them but she doesn’t quite believe them or, at least, believe that they came from her - or that the gasp she hears behind her comes from her wife or that the 'what the fuck, Amy’ from the door comes from her sister - and Amy wants to say she’s sorry, she wants to say she didn’t mean it (she didn’t, at least not like that) and she wants Glenn to shrug, to just blow it all of cause, you know, that’s what he does, except that he doesn’t.

He doesn’t even look at her and if there was a couch nearby right then and there, Amy would exile herself to it immediately but then Glenn does look up - at his wife - and she nods, slowly and he turns back to Amy and, funnily enough, we’re back to where we started.

Back to that question.

“But what if,” Glenn says. “What if he didn’t?”

Five Years Ago

The knock comes a few days after Theo expected it would and the face on the other side of the door… well… it’s not the one (or the pair) he planned on, but he knows that he shouldn’t be at all surprised.

But he is.

(Also: he’s grateful, for more than one reason, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.)

“I thought for sure she’d send Tyson and Holyfield,” he says, stepping to one side so Glenn can come in. In truth, he’s a more than a little bit relieved Lauren didn’t send her sister and her best friend. That might have gotten ugly and painful.

For, you know, him. And, you know, more ugly and painful than this already is cause it’s plenty ugly - getting caught with your pants down is usually like that - and it's more than plenty painful cause, you know, getting caught with your pants down by your wife with someone who is so not your wife gives said wife one hell of an easy target for her very very so fucking very pointy toed shoes.

Theo walked with a limp for a week and even he knows that was the least of what he deserved.

Glenn steps into the house and it feels fucking weird, kinda like he hasn’t done it a million times before, but, of course, back then it was Theo and Lauren’s and now… it's not. Maybe it’s still the same house, with all the same rooms and all the same furniture and the same everything, but it’s not the same, not at all, and he can’t help wondering if Theo feels it too. “You do still remember I was a soldier, right?”

He doesn’t even look at Theo - he’s not entirely sure he’s going to be able to, not without getting a bit… upset or, truthfully, more upset - but he does hold up one hand, wiggling his pinky finger in the other man’s direction and he feels it, the shift in the air, as Theo leans up against the door, fidgeting just slightly further away, out of 'I can kill you with a finger’ (and would) (he absolutely fucking would, if Lauren would just let him) range and yeah…

Message received.

Reagan and Amy might have punched him (not might) and it might have hurt (oh, it so fucking would), but Theo knows he would’ve gotten back up from that - Liam and Jack did and, face it, he’s bigger and stronger than either of them though, apparently he’s also more of a fucking shit, which no one would have thought possible - but if Glenn decided to get physical?

All he’d need was someone to tell him where to hide the body. And Theo's got a pretty good inkling that Lauren would have all kinds of good ideas about that.

“Everything you’re here for is over there,” Theo says with a nod, careful to keep himself just out of reach - like that would really help - indicating the three stacks, a trio of cardboard mountains, box upon box, packing tape begetting packing tape and even though all the stacks are so very clearly - like in big bold permanent black marker letters clearly - marked 'Lauren’, Glenn can’t resist playing the asshole, just a little.

“Which ones?” he asks with a smirk that shifts to a grin - and not the 'yo, man, s'up?’ grin the two men usually shared - as he hears Theo sigh behind him. It’s settling in, Glenn knows, the slow realization that nope, he’s not going to make this any easier - though a bit potentially less physically painful - than his sister and her wife would have.

Theo points, risking his putting his arm in striking distance. “To the left,” he says.

He shouldn’t. Glenn knows he shouldn’t. He knows there’s nothing funny about this - and if he thought there ever was, the memory of Lauren sobbing herself to sleep on his couch every night for the last three weeks has easily disabused him of that - and he knows all too very fucking well that this Theo is not the same Theo he shared beers with and watched basketball with and hung out with while they both did everything they could (which wasn’t always enough or even close to it) to ignore that they were both in love with the same woman.

This, he knows, is no time for jokes. But, come on. 'To the left?’

It comes out without warning and - he’ll claim till the day he dies - without him even choosing to say it. It’s a blurt, an impulse that skips the brain and goes straight to the tongue and, before he can stop himself, Glenn’s singing (or what passes for singing with him.) “To the left, to the left,” he croons. “Everything you own in a box to the left…”

Theo snorts behind him and, for just a second, they're… them… again and, for just that same second, they both forget that they’re never going to be 'them’ again. They’ve always made an odd pair, shoved together by being the only 'boys’ in their little family and no, Liam didn’t count cause he was always on the outside looking in and Lauren may have forgiven but Theo never ever did, or would and Shane was a guy, but… well…

Shane’s a guy and a good one at that and they both love him but he's Shane.

They were brothers, of a sort, not like legally or anything - the brother in law of a sister in law doesn’t have an exact term, like an in law twice removed or some such shit - but, if you asked anyone, they’d be hard pressed to think of a Raudenfeld or Solis family gathering that hadn’t seen Theo and Glenn holed up somewhere, usually with Bruce, talking basketball and football and whatever other balls came up.

And ignoring the fuck out of the tiny blonde elephant in the room.

Theo hums a few bars and then he catches himself, realizing a few notes too late that he’s not meant to be enjoying this moment, like not at all. It feels, to him, kinda like he’s cheating all over again.

Sort of.

(Getting ahead again. Just wait.)

“Didn’t know you knew Beyonce,” he says which is, clearly, among the most ridiculous things he’s ever said cause who doesn’t know Bey?

Glenn shrugs. “Not like I’m a card carrying Beyhive member,” he says, eyeing the stacks of boxes. “But she was clearly the best of Destiny’s children, you know?”

He glances back at Theo and, not for the first time, there’s a rush of anger, of crippling sadness, of blood burning anger that comes over him and he has to look away, lest he find himself doing something about it. He wonders if Theo really gets what he’s done, if he understands just how far and how wide and how deep the damage he’s done reaches. The Theo he knew would’ve, he’d have totally gotten it.

But then, Glenn figures, the Theo he knew wouldn’t have done it in the first place. That Theo never would have brought home some skanky little… skank and he sure as hell wouldn’t have touched her or kissed her or…

Glenn focuses on the boxes, on the neatly stacked,secured, and packed away remnants of Lauren’s former life - and it is her life, that Glenn’s thinking about (mostly) - and tries not to wonder how he could have ever misjudged someone so badly.

And ignore that nagging little tug at the back of his head that just says no fucking way cause, obviously, fucking way. Lauren saw.

She saw.

Theo speaks up and brings Glenn back to reality. “I’m…” He shakes his head at the crack, the tiniest little hiccup of a thing, in his voice and God, how he’s wishing it really had been Amy and Reagan on the other side of the door cause at least maybe he’d be unconscious for this. “I’m, um, gonna grab a beer and hang out on the porch,” he says. “Better to be out of the way like that.”

Glenn nods like it’s the most logical thing he’s ever heard - and it does make sense - and keeps right on staring at those boxes as Theo slips past him and on down the hall and then, and only then, does he steal a glance at the stairs, a move he immediately (is there something sooner?) regrets..

Lauren, maybe you should wait…

What if, he wonders - for about the one zillionth time - she’d listened to him. What if she hadn’t charged up those stairs and down the short hall and through her bedroom door (for what would be the last time) and found… well…

The end. That’s what she found. The fucking end. Kinda literally.

Glenn’s tried so very hard to not blame himself, mostly cause he knows that’s just stupid - he wasn’t the one who hadn’t managed to keep it in his pants, after all - but it’s hard (absolutely

no pun intended) not to feel at least a little responsible. He’d seen the car in the drive, the car that wasn’t Theo’s, same as Lauren had. He’d heard the noises, the laughter and the moans and the voices that weren’t supposed to be there, same as Lauren had. He’d felt that sinking feeling in his gut, that sudden drop, like the world stopped turning and the gravity just fucking quit and he was left adrift, nothing to anchor him, all those things that had moored his life to normal just ripped away, even before he’d seen a thing.

Same as Lauren.

Or, you know, maybe not exactly the same, but close enough, it had all been close enough, they’d been two peas in a pod (they were 'twinning’, as his niece might say) right until that moment, right up until they weren’t. When he froze.

And Lauren didn’t.

Glenn’s tortured himself about it ever since. He’s laid awake so many nights, asking himself that same fucking question.

No. Not 'what if’.

Oh, he’s asked that too. What if he hadn’t froze, what if he’d done something - anything - other than calling out to her, so weakly, so meekly, so… so like he didn’t mean it, like he didn’t really want her to stop. And there it is, there’s the question Glenn’s been beating himself to a mental and emotional pulp with.

Why?

Why didn’t he stop her? Why didn’t he try harder? Why didn’t he do something to try and, at least, shield her from some of it? He loves her, or so he claims (in his head, only to himself, never once out loud except that one time to Katie, but who is she gonna tell?) and yet…

And yet he let her charge up those stairs - alone - and walk in on her husband with his pants gone and his mistress very much not gone and his hands on her hips and his lips on hers and

Glenn heard the muffled moan of a kiss interrupted by a scream (he’s never known if it was her or Lauren and he thinks, maybe, that’s better) and then…

It’s Lauren. You can imagine the 'and then’. Though, maybe, you might not want to.

He could have stopped her. OK… he could have tried and then, maybe, his conscience would be a bit clearer, maybe there’d be a bit less guilt and a bit less doubt and a lot more room in his head and heart for doing what he’s supposed to be doing, which is being Lauren’s friend, being supportive, and being the one (or, really, one of the ones) hating the fuck out of Theo for hurting her.

Except…

Except instead of doing what he’s supposed to be doing - literally, in this case, since he’s not walking those boxes out to his sister’s truck in the driveway - Glenn’s doing the exact opposite, instead of leaving, like he knows he should, he’s turning and walking into the house, through the kitchen, down the four stairs to the back, and out onto the porch and if Theo’s at all surprised to see him there, he doesn’t show it.

He probably expected it. A Solis staying when they should be going?

Must be in the DNA.

Glenn settles in the chair closest to the door, the one he always sits in, the only one that doesn’t have it’s back to the door and no, nobody ever asks why or what happened… over there… that left him with the unshakable need to limit the exposure cause, well, nobody ever asks anything about over there and he never talks about it.

Except to Katie on those nights when she was a tiny tiny and he babysat to give his sister and Amy a little break and he said a whole bunch of things he never should have said but, again, who is she going to tell?

(Besides, you know, her shrink when she’s older.)

“It doesn’t make sense,” he says and Theo doesn’t look at him or ask what 'it is’, though there’s a list of possible 'it’s’ a mile long. “I’ve gone over it and over it,” Glenn says, trying not to get a bit… bothered when Theo still just slowly sips his beer. “And all I ever come up with is that either you’re the stupidest fuck alive or…”

He trails off (yeah, cause the trail off ever ends well) and lets it dangle there, hanging between them, and if he’s waiting for a reaction?

He’s gonna be there a while.

'You remember the day she caught you?“ Glenn asks and yes, it is mostly a rhetorical question cause, duh, Theo’s probably got a vague recollection. "You remember where she was?”

The words 'with you’ trip off Theo’s tongue with the kind of ease reserved for basic facts of the universe: water’s wet, the sky’s blue, Liam Booker was a manwhore of epic proportions, you know, the obvious stuff.

Glenn’s surprised - just a bit - by the way it stings, by the sudden sharp pang of guilt he feels in his gut, like he’s the one in the wrong here, like he did something bad. He didn’t, not really, but he remembers enough Sunday school to remember there’s some sort of rule about not coveting another man’s wife, but coveting ain't cheating.

And rules? Don’t get Glenn started on rules.

Rule #1: Do the right thing, always, and you don’t need any more fucking rules.

Though, technically, coveting is probably not the right thing, but he’s just going to ignore that, OK?

“We had that conference,” he says, ignoring the insinuation he isn’t totally sure Theo meant to make cause, well, it’s easier that way. “The one for the mayor, to kick start his campaign for governor,” he says. “And it was supposed to run all day, remember? Till like five or six, at least.”

Theo takes another sip of his beer. A bit slower this time.

“We weren't supposed to be back,” Glenn says. His fingers are digging into the armrest of the chair, his nails chipping the wood, not that he notices. “We were supposed to be gone all day and then go to dinner after and we weren't supposed to be here then.”

'But you were’. That’s what Theo’s supposed to say. If there was a script for this -like the whole thing was some crazy ass plot twist cooked up by some whackadoo writer typing away at a tiny little computer at a tiny little desk and oh, then it would make so much more sense - then Theo’s next line would be 'but you were’ and he’d say it all bitter and angry like, as if it was Glenn’s fault that he and Lauren showed up when they did, like he was blaming everyone but himself like all the cheating asshats, like him, do.

Theo says nothing. Not a thing. Not a single fucking word and so, no, he’s not following the script, like not at all.

“She’s always figured that was it,” Glenn says, like 'always’ is 'forever’ or 'for so very long’ and not just for three tear filled weeks. “That was what made you think you could get away with it, why you thought… why you dared to bring her here.”

A schedule. A plan. A Lauren Cooper devised and laid out event (that went off without a hitch, that went off perfectly) that had a set start and end time and Theo had to know, he had to be so sure off all the timing cause, come on, it was 'Campaign by Lauren’.

Who could blame him for thinking it was safe?

Glenn stands, tugging his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through his messages. It takes him a minute - his phone’s been bombarded by texts recently, the 'I’m crying and alone at two in the fucking morning’ kind in particular - but he finds the one he’s looking for and reads it and then he reads it again.

Just to be sure.

T-Money: How’s it going? Everything on track?

He tosses the phone down on the table in front of Theo, and he’s not surprised - much - when he doesn’t even look at it, doesn’t even check the reply.

Or, you know, the evidence.

“I texted you back,” Glenn says, settling back down into 'his’ chair, hands on his knees. “I told you it was all going great, so great, better than even Lauren could have planned and we both know that’s gotta be pretty fucking awesome.”

Theo sips his beer and stares straight ahead. He says nothing, still.

But yeah, he knows.

Glenn runs one hand through his hair, which is kinda pointless since he still keeps it buzzed to his damn scalp and there’s nothing to run through, but it’s a nervous habit, a tic, the sort of thing he did when he was younger and he was asking Amanda King to the prom. He’s worried… no, not worried.

He's scared.

He’s fucking terrified, worried that he’s right and maybe a little more worried that he's not and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with either, but he’s still gotta try, he’s gotta push on cause, you know, he froze.

He owes her this much.

“I told you,” Glenn says. “I told you things were going to finish up early and we were going to stop home before the dinner.” He watches Theo’s fingers close tighter around the beer. “I told you we’d be here. You knew. You knew and you brought… her… here anyway.”

'What can I say’ and 'thrill of danger, the risk of getting caught’ and 'she got off on it’ all come spilling out of Theo in a jumble, a mess of words that run together and if that didn’t make them sound rehearsed - like he’s been waiting for this - the fact that he can’t even look at Glenn, that he pushes the beer and the phone away and lets his head fall into his hands…

Yeah, Glenn can read that tell. Hell… Karma could.

“You wanted to get caught.” Glenn says - fuck 'says’, he snarls - his hands balling into fists in his lap. “You wanted Lauren to see you with her, you wanted to hurt her -”

“It was the lesser pain,” Theo blurts and then cusses himself under his breath. He didn’t mean to say it, he’d sworn to himself that he wouldn’t. “This is why,” he mutters, “this is why I wished she’d send them.”

Amy and Reagan wouldn’t have pushed because they wouldn’t have known and, more to the point, neither of them would have cared. They’d have punched first, not asked questions at all, loaded all the boxes second and, probably, punched again.

And he’d have deserved them. That would probably be the only thing Theo might think that they’d agree with.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Glenn snaps. He’s forcing himself to stay in the chair - not that he’d actually, you know, use his pinky (probably) - trying to give Theo a chance to explain, even if he can’t, for the fucking life of him, think of anything that could explain any of this. “You think finding you and her was somehow 'lesser’?” His fingers curl the air quotes around the word as it burns its way off his tongue.

“There’s degrees, Glenn,” Theo says. “Degrees of everything. Love and hate and… pain. And yeah, as much as it killed her, Lauren finding us that way was the lesser pain, like a thousand degree burn compared to falling into the sun. I know it sucks and it’s ripping her up, but she’ll get through it.”

He says it like there’s another option and not just some other, fucking mythical pain that Lauren couldn’t get through. There’s no such thing, no such pain or challenge or obstacle she just can’t overcome. Glenn knows that. He’s sure of very little in this world, but he's positive of that.

“She’ll get through it by hating you,” he says. “By despising you and cursing you and regretting the day she ever met you.” All of which, he doesn’t mention, Lauren’s already doing in fucking spades. “And that, all of that anger and hate, it will burn like the sun, but it’ll never last. It just can’t. Sooner or later, it’s going to burn itself out and then? Lauren will be empty. You’ll have your little whore, but she’ll be alone and that’s what’s going to fill in those hollow, empty, burned out places you left in her.”

Theo snorts - a bitter and angry grunt of a thing and, really, where the fuck does he get off with that - and shakes his head, ignoring the bits about the damage he did (he doesn’t need Glenn to remind him, the ring still on his finger does that just fine) and focusing, instead, on the one thing that he can even kinda get upset about.

“I think we both know the last thing Lauren’s going to be is alone.”

And there it is. The heart of the matter. The elephant in the room who isn’t even there but can’t be ignored any more.

“Fuck you,” Glenn says - and so much for 'brothers’ - pushing his way up and out of his chair and now he’s the one with the burning suns scorching just beneath his skin. “If you think I would ever use this to -”

“I don’t,” Theo says and the edge has slipped from his voice, the knife edged words sheathed again. He slumps back over the table and Glenn doesn’t know what to make of it, or how to process the way this guy he thought he knew so well is shifting gears right in front of him. “I’d never think that. Not of you and not of her.” He laughs again and this time it’s almost genuine and not at all bitter of angry. “Hell, if you even tried, I’m pretty sure your sister would fuck your shit up, family or not.”

He’s not wrong.

“But you’ll be there,” he says. “Like you’re always there. Like you’ve stayed all along, when you knew her heart was somewhere else and you didn’t care.” Theo looks at him, finally, and it’s all right there in his eyes. “You love her. You love her the way that I did… the way I do… and that means you’ll stay.” He looks away, biting at his lip, the pain keeping the tears at bay. “Always.”

There’s an obvious retort, a clear comeback just teed up for him and Glenn sees it, right there, just waiting. But that’s just it, isn’t it? It's obvious, it's clear, it's easy and all of this, from them walking in on Theo and her to Lauren having his shoulder to cry on to Theo not even fighting the divorce at all - he offered her the house, for fuck’s sake (she said no) (for, again, all the obvious reasons) has been like that.

Obvious. Easy. Clear.

He’s the bad guy, the cheating dick, the loser who threw away years - his entire life since high school - for a cheap side piece.

Yeah. Obvious. Easy.

And, suddenly, it’s all a lot more clear.

“What’s her name?” Glenn asks and Theo’s head snaps up. “Your mistress. What’s her name?”

“What?”

Glenn bites back the 'did I stutter?’, trying to keep his temper in check. “What’s her name?” he asks, again. “Where did you meet? How long was it going on? You gonna marry her, now? Is she even interested in that, or was this just about fucking a married man?” He takes a step to the table, leans over it, looming - as much as someone a good foot fucking shorter can - over Theo. “What’s. Her. Name?”

Theo scoots back, just a little. “What’s. Your. Point?”

Well… fuck. Just… total and absolute fuck. Like all the fucks all in one place and that place?

Right smack between Glenn and Lauren. Because now, he knows. Maybe not all of it, maybe not exactly why - but just wait, he’ll get there - but he knows enough.

“You threw it away on purpose,” he says and Theo doesn’t argue the point so, yeah, fuck. “You made sure you did the one thing she’d never forgive and no, that’s not the cheating. It’s being made to look a fool. And you made sure… with my help… that she caught you.”

Glenn staggers back and falls down into his chair. His brain… it doesn’t work this way, it doesn’t think like his sister’s or Amy’s or even Karma’s (especially not Karma’s.) He sees everything in all it’s simplest of terms, in kill or be killed, be happy or not, love or don’t. The messes Reagan told him about from back when she and Amy first got together? They’re as foreign and as weird to Glenn as carrying an M-16 through a fucking desert would be to his sister or to her wife or to Karma (yes, especially Karma, again.)

So, this?

Yeah… this is some Star Wars live long and prosper world of wizarding he who shall not be named shit.

(And yes, he knows those are all different. He’s spent far too fucking long around Amy not to.)

“You had it all,” Glenn says and he’s incredibly proud that he keeps the judgement out of his voice. “Everything. You’ve been in love with her since high school, you survived four years apart in college, you had the most sickeningly fairy tale wedding that I’ve ever seen, and you threw it all away, on purpose, when you had everything you ever wanted.”

“I know,” Theo says so simply, so obviously. “But that’s just it. What if… it wasn't everything?”

[ao3feed-aizawashouta]

by Writing_Mates_Lab

⚡️YANDERE KAMINARI X OC 🔥❄️TODOROKI X OC

Kink's, everyone has at least one. Some are harmless enough, where others are all consuming - delving into the very heart of who we are. And others again, can only truely be satisfied when you find your perfect match....

So it sucks when the real world doesn't match your imagination.

But such is the life of Denki Kaminari. In his mind he's a smooth talking Casanova, the reality however - he repels girls like a bad smell. The kid means well, he's just a little oblivious.

Sujiku Emonowari is smart and feisty with legs for days. But trouble is brewing, threatening to raze her perfect existence to the ground.

A new school assignment opens up an enticing new world for the pair, and their friends Shouto and Mihara - bringing to light their deepest and darkest cravings. Thrust together by chance, will they be a match made in heaven? Or one more dangerous than hell?

Words: 9218, Chapters: 5/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Multi

Characters: Todoroki Shouto, Kaminari Denki, Bakugou Katsuki, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight

Relationships: Todoroki Shouto/Original Character(s), Todoroki Shouto & Original Female Character(s), Kaminari Denki/Original Character(s), Kaminari Denki/Original Female Character(s), Kaminari Denki & Original Female Character(s), Kaminari Denki & Original Character(s)

Additional Tags: Kink, Praise Kink, Consensual Kink, Blood Kink, Hand & Finger Kink, Mild Kink, Dom/sub, Light Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dominance, Bondage, Bondage and Discipline, Fetish, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Control, Mind Control, Yandere, Manga & Anime, Class 1-A Shenanigans (My Hero Academia), Cute Todoroki Shouto, Villain Kaminari Denki, Pining Kaminari Denki, Stalking, Violent Sex, Violent Thoughts, Blood, Pain, Painplay, Painful Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Orgy, Foursome, Foursome - F/F/M/M, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M, Thruple, Polyamory, Oral Sex, Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Vaginal Sex, Shower Sex, Sexy, Sexy Times, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Content, Implied Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Violence, Masterbation, jerking off, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal, Penis Size, Penises, Large Cock, Cock Tease, Cock Slut, Magic Cock, Sex Magic, Multiple Orgasms, Loss of Virginity, Virginity, Virginity Kink, First Time, First Kiss, First Dates, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Smut, Eventual Smut, Shameless Smut, Gratuitous Smut, Face-Fucking, Fucking, Fuckbuddies, Fucking Machines, Kissing, Rough Kissing, Neck Kissing, French Kissing, Forehead Kisses, Girls Kissing, Lesbian Sex, Girl On Girl, Mind Games, Mindfuck, Betrayal, Lemon, Electricity, electric, quirk - Freeform, UA, Yuuei, High School, High Heels, Stiletto Heels, Dorms, Aged-Up Character(s)

[demitgibbs]

Things Get Extra Colorful at Key West Pride

After Gay Disney in Orlando next weekend, but before Wilton Manors’ Stonewall celebrations later in June, Pride dips south to touch down in Key West between the 6th (or so) and the 10th.

With an official motto of “One Human Family” and its legendarily laidback attitude, The Conch Republic, is a particularly welcoming and copacetic place to get your Pride on. The Key West Business Guild, the nation’s oldest Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, assembles a very fun week of events, including pool parties and late-night soirées, the finale of a North American cocktail contest, theatrical readings, film screenings, a Pride street fair, pageants and, of course, a parade.

We’ve got your pocket guide to all the shenanigans. 

The Main Events

The two headline events of Key West Pride are a street fair on Saturday, June 9 and the parade on Sunday, June 10, which runs along Duval Street from the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean (just imagine getting from one to the other without having to drive across The Everglades!).

The parade steps off at the very civilized hour of 5pm — no noon start times on Sundays here! And you can take in the whole thing and still make it to La Te Da in plenty of time for tea dance at 7. That’s just the way Key West rolls.

Spirits

Key West is known for its spirits. And I’m not just talking Papa Hemingway’s ghost.

As Jimmy Buffet (and just about anyone who’s ever been to The Southernmost Point) can tell you, Key West takes cocktailing seriously. If Team USA had a drinking squad, they’d probably train in The Conch Republic.

Along with the street fair and parade, the third anchor of Pride is the Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic. This mixology competition sees regional winners from LGBT bars in 14 North American cities tasked with creating a Key West cocktail that embodies the island’s creativity and free spirit. The competition kicks off Wednesday night at Island House, with events daily throughout the weekend.

Local Color

This year’s parade will feature a 100-foot section of the famed 1.25-mile-long Sea-to-Sea rainbow flag that Key West Pride debuted in 2003, a tribute to Gilbert Baker, creator of the original rainbow flag.

Believe it or not, Baker’s original design featured eight stripes, not just the six we see on rainbow flags worldwide today. The other two colors, hot pink and turquoise, were dropped from the official design due to “manufacturing issues’ when the flag quickly grew in popularity and started being mass produced.

The Sea-to-Sea flag, however, features all eight of Baker’s original stripes. Don’t you ever tell a Key West queen she can’t have her hot pink and turquoise because of “manufacturing issues!”

Performance

Show business seems to be in the water in Key West, and the week’s festivities kick off on Saturday June 2 with Pride Follies, a variety show at Key West Theater (512 Eaton St; Tix: $15–30, keystix.com) that promises “the best (and sometimes the worst) of local Key West performing artists.” Bar service is available during the performance (natch!).

Later in the week, you can catch stage readings of plays including Douglas Carter Beane’s The Little Dog Laughed and Moises Kaufman’s Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde. And if you prefer your performances at a safe remove, during Pride weekend, Tropic Cinema (416 Eaton St; tropiccinema.com) is holding several screenings of BPM, last year’s excellent French feature about life, love, and activism at the height of the AIDS crisis.

Pageantry

If you enjoy a good pageant, Key West Pride is hosting three of them: Miss, Ms., and Mr. Key West Pride. The weekend also features the Miss Paradise Female Impersonator Pageant, the local qualifier for Miss Florida Female Impersonator.

Worship

The Key West Business Guild’s official Pride schedule for Sunday begins at 11am with a Christian worship service at Metropolitan Community Church and an ecumenical service at Unity of the Keys Spiritual Center. These are followed promptly at noon by a naked pool party at Island House. Because Key West.

Gary Salazar, left, and Maria Walden, right, are the first to tread across Duval Street in Key West, Fla., on a new rainbow crosswalk just after four were installed at Duval and Petronia streets Thursday, May 28, 2015. The crosswalks feature bands of all six colors of the rainbow flag, an internationally recognized symbol of gay and lesbian unity. They are composed of pre-formed thermoplastic color blocks alternating with white stripes and heat-treated to become a permanent part of the pavement. 

Key West Pride Highlights

Wednesday June 6

Kickoff Celebration: Key West Pride and The Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic Championship

5–9pm. Stoli open bar 5–7pm. Island House (1129 Fleming St). 18+, 21 to drink. islandhousekeywest.com.

Reading of Cloudburst presented by Fringe Theater

7pm. FREE. Key West Theater (512 Eaton St). thekeywesttheater.com.

Miss Pride Pageant

8pm. 801 Bar Cabaret (801 Duval St). Reservations: 801bourbon.com.

Thursday June 7

Pride Pool Party

1–5pm. $5 Tito’s Vodka drinks. Equator Resort (822 Fleming St). equatorresort.com.

The Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic: Elimination Event I

6:30pm (doors at 5pm). FREE. 21+ only. Aqua (711 Duval St). aquakeywest.com.  

Reading of The Little Dog Laughed presented by Fringe Theater

7pm. FREE. Key West Theater (512 Eaton St). thekeywesttheater.com.

Ms. Key West Pride 2018 Pageant

7pm. 801 Bar Cabaret (801 Duval St). 801bourbon.com.

Friday June 8

Pool Party: Singles, Couples & Thruples, Oh My!

Noon–5pm. Clothing optional. Island House (1129 Fleming St). islandhousekeywest.com.

The Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic: Elimination Event II

6pm (doors at 5pm). FREE. 21+ only.801 (801 Duval St). 801bourbon.com.

Stage reading of Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde

6pm. Waterfront Playhouse (407 Wall St). Tix ($20): waterfrontplayhouse.org.

Top Performer Contest

8pm. Garden Bar Stage at Bourbon St. Pub (724 Duval St). bourbonstpub.com.

Mr. Key West Pride Contest

8pm. Bourbon St. Pub (724 Duval St). bourbonstpub.com.

Glow Party

Featuring American Idol contestant Les Green and his band, Patrick and the Swayzees.

9pm. Aqua Sidebar (711 Duval St). aquakeywest.com

Fetish Ball (men only)

10pm. 1 Saloon (801 Duval St). 801bourbon.com.

Saturday June 9

Key West Pride Street Fair

10am–7pm. Duval St.

Pride Pool Party

Noon–8pm. Bourbon St Pub (724 Duval St). bourbonstpub.com.

Pool Party: BAM and Kat present R U Wet Yet

Noon. Alexander’s Guesthouse (1118 Fleming St). alexanderskeywest.com.

Stage reading of Gross Indecency: The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde

6pm. Waterfront Playhouse (407 Wall St). Tix ($20): waterfrontplayhouse.org.

The Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic: Championship Finale

With performances by Debby Holiday and LaToya London.

6:30pm. FREE. 21+ only. Main stage outside Bourbon St. Pub (724 Duval St). bourbonstpub.com.

Miss Paradise Female Impersonator Pageant

Preliminary for the Miss Florida Female Impersonator Pageant

8pm (doors at 7pm). Studios of Key West (533 Eaton St).

Purgatory: Foam Party & Fetish Event (men only)

10pm. FREE clothes check. Bourbon St. Pub (724 Duval St). bourbonstpub.com.

Sunday June 10

MCC Pride Service

11am. Metropolitan Community Church (1215 Petronia St). mcckeywest.com.  

Unity of the Keys Pride Service

11am. Unity of the Keys (1011 Virginia St). unityofthekeys.org.

Naked Pool Party (men only)

Noon–4pm. Island House (1129 Fleming St). islandhousekeywest.com.

Pride Karaoke

4pm. Parade viewing area at 801 (801 Duval St). 801bourbon.com.

Key West Pride Parade

5pm. Duval St, from The Gulf to The Atlantic.

Tea Dance

7pm. La Te Da (1125 Duval St). lateda.com.

Tea Dance After Party

9pm–midnight. Mangoes (700 Duval St). mangoeskeywest.com.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/05/31/things-get-extra-colorful-at-key-west-pride/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/174436315910