#the foreshowing i noticed

[catgirls-reading-stuff]

I see so many posts that say comment on fanworks you enjoy, share your thoughts, gush about what you loved ect.

But i find it difficult. Because when i do i get critized by the writer for it. I read ninety chapters and was so excited about the set up, the implications, the looming threat from the past! And i commented, and i gushed and shared my thoughts and what i could guess from whats been revealed so far -

And the author was not happy.

'How could you think you know more than me, the author'

I dont, i'm just a fan. I was just excited and as a writer too wanted to share what i knew from my own research or experiences.

I dont think i know what the character went through, ive read the past ninety chapters with excitement at each update and had guesses and theories and was looking forward to seeing if i was close or not.

I'm sorry i commented at all. I'm sorry i even found your work. I wont do that again. I've blocked you, and removed my bookmark. I didnt mean to bother you. I didnt mean to offend.

I hope we never cross paths online again.

[hootybal-lecter]

Y'know I remember this one time I was talking to a coworker about a show we both watched and I mentioned some things I noticed on my rewatch and he was like "wait, you REwatch shows?" And I was like YES??????? How else are you supposed to notice foreshowing and stuff you didn't notice the first time?????? And if you love a show enough why WOULDN'T you want to watch it again??????

That made me realize how much stuff some people are missing when they don't rewatch certain movies and shows

[midnightdemonhunter]

Okay but 👀👀 The Celeste and Hiro parallel rant drop~ [When you can of course 💕💕]

OKAY so uh thesis statement ahoy: hiro is arguably one of the most similar classmates to celeste, if not the most.

I know i have to start off by saying yes, hiro, considered one of the most stupid charecters ingame by the majority of the fandom, reminds me most of minor mastermind celeste with her elaborate murder plan and act to throw people off their guard.

And while im not gonna go fully into detail on my 4d chess hiro theory/hc/reality cause thats a whole other essay, hiro is shown to (just like celeste) use an act, AND be a really competent liar.

In game, in chap 3, theres a scene where Monokuma is super suspscious of everyone leaving the bathhouse togehter for seemingly no reason, and they've gotta quickly cover for the fact that he doesnt know about alter ego.

Celeste is the one who instantly lies expertly and comes up with the idea of them betting on baths. This scene is used as foreshowing for her being a future killer, and a reminder of what a scarily good liar she is.

BUT shes not the only good liar in this scene. While hina takes some time to get used to the lie and not act super sus,

Hiro is instantly on board the lie.

He's the only other shown directly reactinf to her lie, and his reaction is to unflinchingly mirror her without question! Perfect poker face!

And while this little incident might not be enough evidence on its own, it repeats!!! Hiro is the one to always bring makoto to the bathhouse, confidently lying without trouble on two more occasions!

The second time he even spells it out for you!!!

This is a man capable of putting on a smile and lying to your face and the mastermind!! Of putting on an act when needed!! Sound familiar? (Yes, because its what Celeste does ALL THE TIME)

And sure okay, hiros capable of lying! Cool! But are there any more dirrect parallels? Maybe ones pointed out by other charecters in game? YEP

At the end of both their free time events, makoto's final opinions on Celeste and Hiro are eerily similar.

Basically, makoto decides he cant ever let his guard down around either of them, and is tentative to even call them friends. Because, as he's learned from talking to them, these are both people willing to lie, cheat and do basically anything to get what they want, and to keep surviving.

These are both people willing to frame others purely for their own benefit and survival, celeste framing hiro himself in chapter 3 and hiro framing toko in chapter 4, and people willing to kill to survive.

Because while celeste planned a double murder to escape, Hiro was ready to kill Sakura at the first sign that his life was in danger. These are people who are hard to trust and find trusting hard.

While I wont go too much in detail cause this rant is already super log whoops, chap 3, especially the final trial, is arguably a competition between Hiro and celeste for who can win the trial while keeping their act up! (Because why i cant go too into detail here, i am convinced at this point that hiro is constantly putting on an act in order to seem less threatening YES I HAVE EVIDENCE)

Celeste chooses to frame him (because hes "stupid" she says, and someone so obviously "stupid" cant bring up good points without easy evidence, right hiro?) , consequently betting her life against his, and her ability to defend herself against his. She puts them in a scenerio where their differences and similarites become apparent and easy to highlight because in the end it is her against him!!

Another really interesting thing about that trial is while Celeste's acts and lies end up imploding in her face, hiro's,,,sort of do as well! His over exaggerated dumb act nearly gets him executed, and he ends up having to break out of it temporarily jn order to point out something key he'd noticed.

(Yeah byakuya the point is you weren't supposed to know that) He also does use his supposed lack of intelligence as proof he's inocent in that trial, which is arguably,,one of the main reasons he uses it in the first place.

(Interestingly enough Celeste is also the one who points out this possibilty, implying she thinks he IS capable of that amount of forethought)

This is getting way too long so i have to cut it short for now, but additjonal points I'd be glad to ramble on in a second post include their shared low empathy (very clearly illustrated in how they treat/talk about Alter Ego) AND the fact that they're both shown to change their speech style depending on whats happening and who they're with. (Celeste's obvious accent drop in her final trial breakdown, Hiro dropping a casuel style of speaking when hes alone with makoto and trying to be honest with him, and when he's fully intending to come off as the adult in the room, which he is)

SO TL/DR They're both yasuhiros who are excellent at lying and putting on an act, are shown to be untrustworthy and have trust issues and do whatever it takes to survive, are direct opponents in trial 3, and have ulterior motives for how they act on a daily basis. Simply put, they're playing fools and playing nice! :)

[athys-obelia]

hey hey hey.

so like i had a thought?

au where felix notices how down diana is about her pregnancy and approaches her. she confides in him - she's afraid for her child, any complications with their health, their future, everything. the chance she is betting on is a good life for her child with their father, but...she cannot foresee the future, after all. diana has worries as any new mother would.

(under cut for length)

and after pondering on it, felix proposes an idea: what if he could garuntee this child's safety? diana had already expressed her will to make him their godfather, shouldn't he rise to the occasion? you should run away, he tells her, and spend the rest of your pregnancy at one of my father's estates.

she agrees, albeit hesitantly. he's been distancing himself from her - claude - ever since the pregnancy, but she visits him on her last night at the palace. it is a horrible night - all goodbyes are - and claude seems to sense something. he asks of her to spend the night, and diana can't find it within herself to reject the request. she'll just have to slip during at night, she thinks.

she spends her final trimester on robane lands, under the care and knowledge of felix's father as the knight spearheads the quiet search for the emperor's favorite concubine. she feels strangely at peace.

the search intensifies as her due date nears, and the week of athanasia's birth, everything...stops. duke robane explains the emperor cannot make the loss of an heir public knowledge, and has ordered the destruction of ruby palace. the concubines have been dismissed.

diana receives a special visit a few hours before going into labour - before her is a beautiful brunette with determined eyes. diana's body grows weaker by the day, she has been bedridden for the past few days, but she feels content. her child will be fine. so will her lover. claude may think her selfish after this, though she supposes if it can garuntee her baby's smile, she will accept it. she can be selfish if needed.

the obelian skies mirror the chaotic silence within the imperial palace. the young emperor has not made an appearance in the audience hall for days. his tailor has not received any orders for the usual military attire lately - rather, the instructions detail a simplistic, pure white fabric, as if...almost as if he were in mourning. the eerie calm seems to foreshow a storm.

and amidst the rain and thunder roaring across the empire, under the gaze of an ever loyal knight and a young lady, a princess is born quiet. her declining breaths reflect her mother's. "she has your eyes, my lady," says lilian york, "her father's beautiful colouring, but the strength is from you. the strength you have given her. she will live with power."

"and love?" the new mother asks weakly.

"lots," the knight swears. "a child borne of love deserves nothing less."

she is safe, my daughter - my daughter is...

Xx

by the end of the week, the imperial directory is edited at the command of his majesty, the emperor. a new name is added.

athanasia de alger obelia.

lilian york sighs at the babe in her arms. "the undying...what a cruel joke. his majesty can't possibly know whether lady diana or the little princess are still alive."

"no - it is the name lady diana expressed her partiality for," felix says with a slight smile, "it is a dare."

little athanasia groans.

Xx

athanasia de alger obelia - or, more commonly, athanasia robane - has seen many families. lilian does not what to say when the princess wonders why she cannot call her 'mother'. why she cannot address the men she believes to be her father and grandfather as such, why her grandfather refers to her as 'my lady'.

at the age of four, athanasia has stopped asking such questions. lilian cannot help but marvel at the way she avoids the topic with an intelligence that should realistically be far beyond her years.

athanasia's grandfather has made habit of asking her the same question as he tucks her in every night. "are you happy, my lady?"

she nods every time - it is such an obvious answer, after all. "athy is so happy, grandpapa! thiiiiis much!! why do you always ask that?"

her grandfather smiles. athy loves that her grandfather smiles so much. "i come from a family of knights, my lady. we are taught to honour our promises first and foremost."

"did you promise someone you would keep me happy, grandpapa?"

duke robane raises an amused eyebrow. "aren't you chatty today? get some sleep, sweet one. i will be here in the morning."

he always is.

xx

duke robane tends to frequent the palace often. today, however, is a special day.

"were you on your way to the hall?" the emperor inquires, running into the red haired noble on his walk.

he bows in greeting. "i was not. i did not wish to bother you today, your majesty. i know you do not like to be disturbed during this time of year."

claude rather likes duke robane. he is relatively tolerable, like an older, wiser version of felix. "then what are doing outside the palace?"

"i was on my way to town, your majesty, with a... family member. her birthday is arriving soon, you see, but she was quite taken with your beautiful gardens, so i let her wander outside - i wouldn't dare allow her inside without your majesty's approval, of course."

claude raises an eyebrow. "a family member?"

"my granddaughter, sire."

claude glances at felix curiously. "i was not aware of this... development. how many children are you fathering when you're not bothering me?"

felix snorts.

"er...a foster granddaughter, your majesty."

"i do not see her here. i assume she is felix's current heir, is she not? i should be offended you have not introduced us."

"she is playing a game, sire," duke robane explains, "she has gone to hide and i am to find her. it is called hide and seek, as i am told."

he winces at the familiar voice calling out, "grandpapa!! look at this shiny flowe-"

little athanasia's face pales.

"my lady, meet his majesty, the emperor of the Obelian empire."

the blonde princess clutches her grandfather's sleeve. "from... from athy's books?"

felix cannot tear his gaze away from the emperor's face - or rather, the jewelled eyes that stare at his goddaughter.

claude could laugh. that face, even with her eyes matching the prominent robane silvery eyes...felix must really take him for an idiot, he thinks. really, he should be offended. he remembers putting felix in charge of the search years ago... lying to the emperor? disguising a member of the imperial family to pass off as their own? in what land would this not be a crime?

still, this...this 'athy' looks happy. or looked happy, before she saw him. only a fool would grow to be jovial in the palace, so claude wonders whether thank you may be in order for keeping his child so cheery.

then again, this said under the assumption that he would've kept the child alive in the first place.

claude glances at duke robane - the man is usually so poised, he thinks he'll have some fun while this little charade is up.

"what is your name?" he asks blankly.

the duke interjects, "we call her athy, sire. the name athena truly fits her - she is a very bright child."

ah, interesting...felix's father seems to both be smarter and care for the girl more than claude initially credited him.

"hide and seek," claude muses, barely making an effort to hide his smirk, "so, you've finally decided to come out of hiding."

Xx

"i was on my way to the lake. get ready to join me."

duke robane glances at five year old athanasia - she had been called to the palace for tea with the emperor once, after which their little tea parties became something of a common occurrence. he had faced hell and beyond trying to keep it under wraps - at least felix's position as the emperor's guard was a comfort.

"your majesty, forgive me, but the lady hasn't learnt to swim. i fear it may be dangerous."

athanasia shoots him a look - don't argue with the emperor, grandpapa!

"what's there to worry about when she's with me?" claude asks, eyebrow quirked, "besides. the three of you should be quite used to playing dangerous games by now."

felix sputters. "your, your majesty?"

yes, dealing with house robane is much more entertaining than roger alpheus could hope to be...

"what was it? hide and seek. your daughter could get lost, isn't that sort of thing very dangerous?"

athanasia raises an eyebrow at him, unimpressed, as felix flushes red. claude finds himself wondering - not for the first time - what goes inside her head? it's not uncommon for this child of five to react with the maturity of an adult, intriguingly.

"lets go, uncle!" she exclaims, offering him her hand as he's seen the duke and felix hold it often. she interwined her fingers with his once he accepts her hand. so small, it is. small and soft, as if he could crush her with the littlest force.

claude stares at her platinum blonde hair, a hint of a smile playing on his features. "robane has gotten quite daring lately. of course, a bold house will raise a bold child."

Xx

"grandpapa?"

duke robane glances at the blonde in his doorway - how out of place her bright hair had once looked, bouncing around in contrast to the rich, deep browns and reds of the robane mansion. the estate seems to lose life whenever his foster granddaughter visits the palace, now. as per their little custom, she visits him in his study at her return. "my lady. come."

"i have to greet lily soon or she'll get mad. she hates when i meet you without being dressed for it. but i really wanted to see grandpapa." she grins brightly, and he thinks her smile is the gods compensating for the moon's quiet glow. the princess takes her place on his lap. "what are you doing, grandpapa?"

"there's some trouble at the border. i'm only looking over our damages, i'll be done soon."

athanasia's grandpapa has never once dismissed her questions claiming she's too young. he's never withheld knowledge she's asked for. sure, he makes it so the terms are easier for her to understand, but she's never been out of the loop. "how has the emperor been to you, sweet one?"

"i almost called him daddy today," she admits, feeling her grandfather's hand on her shoulder tighten.

"oh?"

athanasia chuckles. "well, that's a lie. i did call him that. but...he seemed okay with it."

"truly?"

"yeah! he's so odd. he even told me i should stop wearing so much red and black."

"what did you say to that?" the duke asks.

"i told him they were my house colours, obviously. i can't just stop wearing my house colours! he said purple suits me better. i mean, if i was his daughter or something i could wear a lot of purple. it's the imperial family's colour, isn't it?"

he clears his throat. "...you were at the palace for the entire day, my dear, weren't you bored?"

"not really. oh! i met a magician today too."

"a magician?"

"mhm! everyone at the palace is so weird, honestly. apparently he's been sleeping there ever since emperor aeternitas? i don't know, he was really strange."

"emperor aeternitas? from nearly two hundred years ago? what else do you remember about this mage, my lady?"

she presses her finger to her chin. "to tell you the truth, grandpapa, he was very pretty. like...really pretty."

athanasia's grandfather gives her a smile she has learnt to be vary of. "are you interested in this magician, my child? i don't mind extending an invitation for the pair of you to become better acquainted."

"grandpapa! when will you stop trying to become a matchmaker?"

duke robane sighs playfully. "i'm only thinking of your future, my lady. your debutante is not too far - you will need an escort to dance the night away with."

she pouts. "i can dance with you, grandpapa."

he chuckles, and the silence stretches until athanasia breaks it once more, murmuring a soft, "no."

"no?" her grandfather echoes, confused.

"that's a 7," she says, pointing towards the document he's been working on. "not 3, that was last time. grandpapa told me the border towns have a larger population now, so that needs to be factored in, doesn't it?"

duke robane studies the calculation, the surprise evident in his sharp features. "hm?...you're right, thank you."

she grins. "i've been working on my sums lately! aren't you proud of me, grandpapa?"

"always, sweet one. you're very smart to be at this level so young."

athanasia beams. "i mean, you taught me everything so it's almost like you're praising yourself, you know?" her grandfather laughs at that, the sound deep and familiar. "anyway, are these real gold? they're very pretty." she gestures towards a box of earrings resting on her grandfather's desk.

"they were your mother's," the duke tells her, feeling the girl stiffen. "i planned to give them to you at your return."

"they're very...siodonnan," she remarks almost awkwardly. "very pretty."

"she wanted you to have them. apparently they were a gift."

"oh."

he confirms with a slight chuckle, "they are gold, authentic. that fascinates you, doesn't it? you've always been quite taken with shiny things, ever since you were a child. your grandfather was like that too, athanasia."

"you're like that?"

the duke of house robane blinks in surprise once. then twice.

Xx

felix stares at the eleven year old in the emperor's bed. blonde hair spilled all over the pillows, her frail body hidden under the covers. how...?

he hadn't registered the passage of time at all. the emperor's index and middle fingers rest on athanasia's forehead, his own creased in concentration and annoyance. felix can't even help the fury building within himself.

"your majesty," he begins cautiously - claude has been a wild card ever since watching his daughter cough up blood at the breakfast table. the massacre everyone was on edge about eleven years ago at ruby palace would've been inevitable yesterday had athanasia's childhood friend - the mage - not arrived as early as he had. "you should rest."

claude's gaze turns to him dangerously. "do not tell me to rest when-"

the girl stirs uncomfortably, her eyes opening. she glances at felix before tugging on her father's sleeve weakly. "papa...?" tears prick at the corner of the young princess's eyes.

oh, that's right - felix remembers his father having the talk with the princess a few months ago. she had accepted the new information quietly, and rather quickly, to the both robane mens' surprise. the princess had started bringing her father flowers on her visits from then, and as if in return, claude had an entire garden in built where ruby palace would've been.

the emperor's hand returns to his daughter's forehead and she blinks sleepily a few times before drifting right back to sleep. the magic has long worn off - neither father nor daughter had flinched at the sight of her shimmering blue eyes. if anything, felix had seen claude's shoulders relax.

the emperor lets out a small sigh. "i will not be here when she wakes." he traces the soft collar of her purple nightgown. "and should she consent, see to it that athanasia moves into emerald palace by the end of the month. she has been fostered long enough."

oh, his father would definitely not like that.

Xx

"are you mad, papa?" athanasia asks, the sequins of her debutante dress glittering bright u der the lights of the hall..

"why would i be? did someone dare say something to y-"

she latches onto his arm before her father has a chance to finish. "no! nobody could dare offend me on my debut. especially when i have you by my side."

"then you do you ask?"

she plays with the intricate patterns on the arm of his outfit. "because i refused to move in with you? trust me, papa, i didn't mean to hurt you at all...i was only..." scared. it was at the debutante, wasn't it? when you chose jennette over the real athy.

"it was simply your choice," the emperor tells her flatly. "and i seem to recall you delaying it. not refusing."

athanasia laughs sheepishly. "that's right. i don't want to force myself into your life. i really love our time together though, papa."

her breath hitches as claude halts in his step. his hand raises to her jawline, thumb brushing against against her earrings. "where...? where did you..."

"papa? do you need to sit down?"

it does the trick, snapping her father out of whatever trance he had been under.

"won't you dance again? i'll be here," he encourages, and athanasia nods. she's shared one with her godfather, one with ezekiel alpheus...

"what are you doing here, your highness?" duke robane inquires, separating himself from his conversation partners.

"won't you dance with me, grandpapa?"

the duke can't help but smile at the way she addresses him. "you were escorted by his majesty, sweet one. why do you wish to spend your precious time with this lowly servant?"

"grandpapa!"

he sighs with a fond smile. "alright, alright. but even dancing with fathers is out of fashion nowadays, princess. and you're here, asking me?"

she frowns, unimpressed. "i think you don't want to dance because you're so tall. are you calling me unskilled?"

he gives her a charming smile. "how could i dare?"

"don't you remember, grandpapa? in your study?" she extends her hand with a familiar smirk, "i come from a family of knights, my lord. we are taught to honour our promises first and foremost."

and really, when has duke robane ever been able to refuse his granddaughter?

a/n: literally what is this. why is this. when i say i only meant to write a drabble-

but!! duke robane never hesitates in standing up for his granddaughter, even against the emperor! athy and found family!! honestly i love the dukes' conflict here - alpheus with jennette and robane with athy :)

claude and his subtle shade 🙃

lily and the robanes honoring their promise to diana and teaching athy both love and strength <3

the magic explosion thing happened much later, and with slightly different claude/athy dynamics - he certainly can't take her presence for granted, she doesn't doesn't even live with him yet (she wants to!! the insecurities around jennette are just acting up rn)

athy will have support during amnesia arc + ana's antics!!!

[jackonthelongwalk]

Do you think Eli’s lack of eye contact at the start of the show was due to shyness or uncomfortableness and due to autism, and do you think that he forces himself to do it later in the show and is actually uncomfortable but does it to mask? Your answers are always so insightful so thank you for that :)

I believe it’s two fold.

•Firstly it’s about autism and being uncomfortable with eye contact as a form of communication. Notably we can draw back to his relationship with Demetri in that Demetri and his mum are essentially the only people he makes consistent eye contact with in the first few episodes leading me to believe those are the only two people he’s completely comfortable around.

•Secondly it’s also rooted in how incredibly self-conscious he is of his lip scar, notice in the Halloween dance episode Eli makes more eye contact (with Miguel particularly) which has a lot to do with the fact that his lip scar is covered and nobody can see it. this is foreshowing for the Mohawk Eli learns from this experience if he covers or distracts from his lip it’ll seem minuscule.

On to later in the show.

• first season we can see Eli experimenting and doing heavy mimicking to create his mask. Autistic people are either taught how to mask through “therapy” (this was my personal experience until my father yanked me out) or they mimic others expressions, voice tone, hand gestures, body language. Eli mimicks both Johnny and Miguel (a lot) and Johnny makes some of the most direct eye contact out of everyone in the show, so I think Eli forces himself, and likely practiced a lot. He definitely finds it uncomfortable, he uses over expression quite frequently which a lot of autistic people do to compensate for making direct eye contact. You’ll notice in season 2 and 3 he drastically reduces the amount of eye contact he makes.

Also notable , when he talks to Demetri (at Moon’s, in the comic store and at the flipping sides fight) he drops the over expressions because Demetri doesn’t need or expect him to mask and he’s able to drop it.

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six: "..it means divine beauty.."

Word Count 3.1k

Warnings: mentions of blood, heavy angst

When you reached Kattegat's border, you were already bleeding. You could feel the droplets slipping down your leg and onto your dragon's scales. You hear Neith cry out when she notices you bleeding. 

"I-ah...I'm alright! Boy..land!" You stammered but he obeyed. You slide off of your dragon and fall to the ground. 

"Torvi!" You shouted, "Torvi!" You shouted again, until you saw her before you.

Torvi "Y/n..Y/N what is it!?"

"Ah, the baby..she's coming!" She took no time at all to call a group of vikings over to you. They lifted you up and when they did, Torvi saw the puddle of blood that was underneath you. The thing is, you have not been sitting there for very long. Worrying her. She looks at the horizon, hoping to see a group of men on horses, riding into the gates but she does not. She took a deep breath and ran inside to help you deliver your child. 

When you are placed on your back, you have the immense urge to push. You scream out because you are trying your hardest to keep her in until your beloved is by your side. 

"My queen, you are bleeding-"

"I kno-Torvi!" 

Torvi "I am here, I am here." She took your hand and you squeezed hers long and tight. 

"Is..the bleeding normal?" You stammered.

Torvi "Yes, dear one. I bled with all of my children."

"Ivar..Hvitserk..they won't make it!"

Hvitserk "Says who?" You look from behind your friend's figure and see both of them, out of breath in the doorway. You burst into tears from relief. Hvitserk rushes to your side and takes your hand in his own. While Ivar on the other hand, sits in front of you. Looking like he is going to have a heart attack, or vomit from the panic and the fear. 

"You made it-"

Hvitserk "Of course I did," he said caressing your cheek, "I swore to you that I would not miss it." He kissed your forehead but you scream out in pain. "TORVI!" He yelled at her to get in there, to check to see if you are ready to push or if it is only contractions. You feel her checking, and that hurts just as bad. 

Torvi "Okay, my friend..are you ready to have this baby?"

"No.." Torvi giggles. 

Hvitserk "I have you." 

Torvi "Push." You did as she told you and screamed until she told you to pause. Ivar covers his ears, trying to block out your screams because he cannot bare it. 

Torvi "You are doing so well, only a few more!" You continued following her guidance until you felt a release within you, and you knew that she was here. 

Torvi sighs, "It is indeed a girl." Hvitserk looks at her and cries tears of joy. 

"Oh..can I-can I see her?" 

Torvi "Of course." When you see her, she is just as your visions foreshowed. She is simply perfect. Ivar cried with you. So happy to hear this news and to hear her cries for you for the first time. 

"Hello, beautiful." You say as you help her to latch onto your breast. "We have been waiting for you for so long." Ivar gets up from his seat and walks his way to your bedside. But he stays silent. 

Ivar "Y/n.." you look up at him and you see the fear in his eyes. That is when you look down and notice the blood surrounding you. That is when you feel your adrenaline die down and you feel as weak as you should be. 

Hvitserk "Let me take her.." she finished feeding when Hvitserk took her from your arm's. 

Torvi "We need to stop the bleeding, she tore giving birth to her.."

Ivar "What can I do?!"

Torvi "Get me stitching, and hurry."

"Hvitserk," he looks at you from staring at her, "what if-"

Hvitserk "No, don't even think that way..do you hear me?" You slowly nod, "Torvi will-will stitch your tare and you will be fine. I promise."

"Mm, what is her name?" He looks at you and then down at her and smiles. 

Hvitserk "what about Asta?"

"Asta.."

Hvitserk "Yes, it means divine beauty. And she looks like you."

You smile, "Asta is perfect." Ivar comes back with the stitching and when you see the needling, you feel your eyelids getting heavy and soon enough, you are unconscious.

..

Hvitserk and Ivar stay with you even though you were asleep. They did not leave your side until the bleeding had stopped. 

Ivar "When will she wake?" He asked Torvi.

She sighs, "I am not sure. She lost quite the amount.."

Hvitserk "What are you telling us exactly, huh?" He said, rocking his daughter. 

Torvi "She may not wake for a day or so. I do not know how fast her body can heal itself!"

Ivar nods, "I have to go.." Hvitserk makes eye contact, "I can't see her laying there like that. I've seen it before, I can't do it again." And just like that, without another word, he left. Hvitserk holds back the tears as he sits down by your bedside, rocking Asta. 

Hvitserk "Your mother has been through too much during her lifetime, little one. And I wish that was not the case." She coos, "But she is strong. She is a warrior, a shield maiden..a queen." He looks up at you, "She won't leave us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you wake, it feels like you are in a whole other world. Everything around you is gloomy, and quite dark. But you find it all splendidly peaceful. You walk further and find a body of water. The lake was surrounded by dragon statues of great mass. 

"Gods...where am I?" You say to yourself as you walk further. You walk and walk until you reach a cave. In this cave were two dragon eggs. White and red in color. You smile to yourself and think to yourself 'this is why I am here, for little Asta.' And in that moment, you took a deep breath and came out of your vision. 

When you look to your left, you find Ivar with his head down. Asleep. You try to move but the pain in between your legs stops you. But only for a moment, you see, because Ivar was not with Asta, so you had to find her. You silently got out of bed and wobbled your way out of the chamber doors. You find two guards and they stop you in your tracks.

"My queen, you should be in-:

"Bed? Yes, I think I have been in bed long enough. Where is my daughter?" Your voice woke Ivar dead in his sleep. 

Ivar "Y/n?" You look back and your eyes connect with his bright blue eyes. "You are awake!" He walks to you and cups your cheeks and kisses you softly. 

"How long have I been asleep?"

Ivar "Two or three days..I am not quite sure."

You sigh, "Where is Asta?"

He smiles and caresses your cheek, "She is perfectly well, my love."

"I'll go find her-"

Hvitserk "She is with Hvitserk." You nod and make your way to his chambers, where you find him fast asleep, with the baby asleep on his chest. Your eyes welled with tears, but the most joyous of tears. When you sat down on the corner of the bed, the pain became excruciating and you could not hold back your yelp. This woke Hvitserk up and when his eyes adjusted, he lost it. His emotions overcame him and so did yours. 

Hvitserk "You-"

"Hi.." he laughs and raises himself and Asta from his position in the bed and he makes his way closer to you. "I missed her first few days of life-"

Hvitserk "Nothing happened, kitten..she barely has her eyes opened yet." You nod and sniffle away the last of your tears as he hands her to you. 

"Gods she is so perfect." He nods and kisses your forehead. "Has Ivar held her?"

Hvitserk "I offered but he refused. He said that he would not hold her until you woke from your deep slumber." Your brows scrunch together in confusion, "He meant that if you did not awake, then he would want nothing to do with her." 

You scuff, "I don't believe that-"

Hvitserk "Y/n, he killed a son that his wife told to be his own because he was born different.." you think back on that story that Ivar told you a long time ago. You forgot about that, because you did not want to believe that he really did such an awful thing. 

"Well, I am awake.." he nods, "I do not want to think about the past. I just want to be here and now, with her. You and Asta are not in my past." Another tear falls from his eye as he leans down and kisses Asta's forehead. 

Hvitserk "You two are my everything. You know that, yes?"

"Of course I do, I love you." You lean in and kiss him gently before kissing your sweet daughter. "She is so tiny."

Hvitserk "She is. She does not look real, she is so perfect." In that moment, she opened her eyes and you saw the color for the first time. They are your blue but in the center, they are his green. 

"Wow.."

Hvitserk "Mhmm.." he nods in agreement. 

"How did we make her?"

Hvitserk "What can I say, we are just beautiful-" you two burst out laughing, making Asta start to fuss. 

"Shh, shh. I've got you." Hvitserk sits there and admires the both of you. Until he saw his brother's gathering in the doorway. 

Ubbe "Momma bear is finally awake!" He shouted but not too loudly. 

"I am." You said, exhaling deeply. He walks over to you and kisses your forehead. 

Ubbe "I am happy to see you holding her, she looks just like you."

"Mm, I see both of us in her." You say as you look at her. 

Ubbe "A little bit," he winks at Hvitserk, "But you should eat."

"I will soon, I just want to spend time with her."

Ivar "Let her be with her." Ubbe looks at his brother and nods in agreement. 

Ubbe "I'll leave you two be then." You nod and then watch him leave the chamber. Ivar stayed, of course. 

Ivar "She does look like you, my sweetheart."

"Thank you. But would you like to hold her?" He walks closer and smiles once you smile at him. He sits down next to you and Hvitserk, and takes Asta in his arms. You hear his breath hitch and his eyes begin to water. 

Ivar "You know," he sniffles, "I thought that I would never hold her." 

"You would. Maybe not at first, but you would Ivar."

Ivar shook his head, "I couldn't. I could never love someone that took the love of my life away from me." He looks up at you. "If I lost you, then what would be the point of my life, hmm?" You do not answer him, "So no, I couldn't. If I lost you, I lost the will to live."

"I am here, Ivar. You do not have to think that way."

Ivar "I know that. But I had to let you know that. I am sure that Hvitserk told you that I did not hold her while you were asleep, so I had to tell you myself." You nod. 

"I love you, my love. But if the day should come where I pass on before you do, I want you to be happy." He looks disgusted, "And Asta needs you."

Hvitserk "I think we all need to stop worrying, aye?" He tries to break the tension, "You are here, you woke..Asta is here and she is healthy. And we are all together. So why sadden this wonderful day with what could happen in the future, huh?" 

"Hvitserk is right." Ivar nods and glances down at Asta. She coos and he chuckles. Hvitserk rubs small circles on your back and takes in this moment that he thought would never happen, nor become a possibility. 

"I have to tell you something-"

Torvi "You are awake! Ubbe just told me!" 

"Hi!" She runs to you and greets you with a warm and friendly embrace. 

Torvi "How are you feeling?"

"Like I tore.."

Torvi "Mm, I need to check the stitching every now and then but not now. I want you to take this time with Asta."

"Thank you, for everything."

Torvi "My pleasure." She walks back out, to give you all this time to yourselves. 

Hvitserk "What is it that you have to tell me?"

"I know where her dragon's are." Hvitserk's eyes sparkled with excitement. 

Hvitserk "Really? Where?"

"I am not quite sure of the name of the place, but I know what it looks like!" You explain your vision and Ivar is amazed to know that such a place existed. 

Ivar "When should we go?"

"Not any time soon. We need to be home with her. I just want to have them for when she is old enough."

Ivar "I understand." 

"I should feed her and then feed myself." You force a laugh. Ivar smiled and handed her back to you and headed for the door. 

Ivar "Hvitserk, will you join me for a moment?" Hvitserk growled but got up and followed his brother's orders anyway. 

"It is just you and me, little one." You smile, "it should have been this way on the first day of your life but the God's had other plans." She suckled and listened, "But because so, I know how to gift you the best gift that my father had ever given me. And now I can give that to you. One day, of course." You think to yourself and smile, "I love you so much, little Asta. So so much. I hope you never forget that." She coos, "And you will grow up to be a strong, powerful woman. I promise. You will be safe and loved by so many, and be admired from all over the world. But most importantly, your father and I love you most."

Ivar leads his brother to the dining hall to sit down and chat. What about? Hvitserk would soon find out. 

Hvitserk "So what is it you wanted to talk about, Ivar? You know that I want to see-"

Ivar "Y/n, I know."

Hvitserk "So why am I here and not with her, hmm?" Ivar chuckles, "what couldn't you say with her in the room?"

Ivar "I would like to talk about Asta, of course."

Hvitserk "What about her?" He already began to fume. 

Ivar "You know exactly what about her. I am not her father-"

Hvitserk "No, you're not."

Ivar "Do not test me, brother. I am trying to be kind." Hvitserk stops himself from talking any further by resting his hand to his face. "I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter."

Hvitserk "I suppose you would like her to grow up thinking that you are her father..no?" Ivar thinks for a moment and smirks. 

Ivar "You are not wrong." 

Hvitserk "But think of Asta. How would that affect her?" Ivar lets his head drop when he hears that question. "This is her life, we have to take care of her Ivar."

Ivar "And I will-"

Hvitserk "Will you? You see, you did not even want to hold her!"

Ivar "I couldn't. I told you why."

Hvitserk "I understand why, but even if something did happen to Y/n, Asta would still need us Ivar. You know that." Ivar nods slowly, inhaling deeply. 

Ivar "Asta will know that you are her father when she is old enough to fight. Until then, she will be mine." And before Hvitserk could protest, he got up and left the room. For a moment, Hvitserk couldn't believe it. But then he realized that it was Ivar, so he believed it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You managed to eat today but only a little. When Torvi checked your stitching, it felt like hot coils burning your core. It was so painful, but you managed not to scream. Ivar was by your side through that moment, which surprised you. He held your hand and helped you through it. Which was the first time he could see you in pain and manage to help you through it. 

Torvi "It is going to be painful until it heals completely, so no fighting.." 

You smile, "I won't be going into any battle anytime soon."

Torvi "Good. You can do what you are able but no sex or anything that could tare the stitching."

"Thank you Torvi."

Torvi "Of course." She hugs you tightly, "Now I'm going to go coddle that little princess of yours." 

You giggle, "Go, before I steal my own daughter from you." She bursts out laughing. 

Ivar "Seems like you and Hvitserk won't be having fun for a few weeks."

"Don't talk like that."

Ivar "I am sorry."

"So what did you and Hvitserk talk about?" You stammered as you got yourself up from your laying position on the mattress. 

Ivar "I told him that Asta would not know that he was her father until she was old enough to fight."

"And I suppose I have no say in that?"

Ivar "No, it is the only way I can keep it from my people. If they knew, they would belittle me..I cannot have that."

You nod, "No, of course not."

Ivar "That day will not be easy for me-"

"Nor will it be easy for her."

Ivar "You are right. It won't but this is how it must be." 

"Fine. Will you please help me up?" He rises and helps you off of the bed. You attempt to walk away from him but he holds you close to him. He holds you tight to his chest and your hearts beat at the same time. 

Ivar "I know that you must hate me right now, and for that I am sorry. If she was mine, it would not be an issue. And I am happy for my brother, but it has to be this way." He loosens his grip so that you have enough room to look up at him. 

"Okay Ivar." He caresses your cheeks, leans in and kisses you. You kiss him back, of course. 

Ivar "I love you."

"I love you too." 

Ivar "Go ahead." He lets you go and he watched as you walked out of the door. Thinking to himself, "Was this the only way?" 

@hvitserkmarcosource @a-mess-of-fandoms @youbloodymadgenius @ivarsgoddess @krissydclayton93 @heavenly1927 @saldelys @conaionaru

[illyrian-lover-flower]

The chosen forest keeper 1

 Everything should have gone for the better after the war with Hybern. Everything should have turned out fine, but it didn’t.

_Feyre still had nightmares of Rhys dying in her arms. _

Nesta would have already fucked and drunken herself to death, if she still would have been human.

And Elain, sweet, gentle and seemingly happy, Elain -commited suicide.

_ Jumping off a cliff outside of Velaris into the depths of the dark sea. Offering her life as well as the pieces of the hearts of her family. _

Her dead body was never found, but a wittnesser who tried to stopp her, saw everything.

Never would have anyone guessed that a visit to the normally so rebelious tribes, years later changed everything.

__________________________________________________

                      The world is small, but forever is long  now,

                                             since you’re gone  

Death.

It always followed him.

Why would this time be an exception?

How could he go that far as to hope for an exception? An exception he hoped would be Elain Archeron - but she wasn’t.

Sweet Elain Archeron who was a bright light in the dark for all of them, a bright light that left and instead of the calming light - she left an uneasy twisting shadow behind.  

A shadow that was casted over every member of his family as they sat in the living room. The living room that suddenly turned too bright by the colourfulness of the flowers she left behind.

His throat went dry as the desert as he listened to the weeping sounds of his High Lady.  

The weeping sounds of a sister that just lost a part of her family.  

His brother sat close to his mate on the couch, an arm slung around her shaking back as she buried her palms in her wet eye sockets. The female he loved, her golden light not dimmed at all by the news, sat on the other side of their High Lady and rubbed calming circles on one of her shaking shoulders. Her gaze was worried as she took in her friend.  While Amren just sat in the back of the room.

Her arms crossed over her small chest and her gaze turned out off the window - to the colourful garden that now had no owner anymore.

Even her heart wasn’t left cold by the sweet seer. The seer who had struggles with her powers, but never made them look like as if they were that serious.

The seer who laughed with them. The seer who studied with them. The seer that simply made the day of her family with a soft laugh and sweetened it even up with a little baked good.

Her warm smiles the sunshine for all of them. Even for Amren - who seemed to have taken a liking to all of the three Archeron sisters.

The stranger on the couch opposite the one of Feyre, Rhys and Mor looked lost as he took in the view of his High Lady crying her eyes out, because of the news.  

The sad news he just brought upon them.

“… she jumped off a cliff near the borders of Velaris.”

As Azriel first entered the room - having returned exhausted from a two weeks mission- he didn’t know who they talked about, but as Feyre started crying and Rhys face paled with each second that past, a bad foreshowing already settled into his guts as he saw the flower grower nowhere near by.

His shadows curled restless through the whole house and garden, but could find her nowhere.

The steel cold look Amren gave him, as he entered the room, made him pale - but more of the realization her slowly shaking head brought with it.

The room went cold as he realized. As he realized why his High Lady cried almost as much as she did when Rhys died.  

But Rhys was back. Even though she still had nightmares about him dead - it were all just that.  

Nightmares.  

Rhys had come back to life.  

But Elain would not.

His heart lowered its speed to an almost cold and slow pace, his blood having probably all gone to his feet as he stood there in the archway of the living room, like a salt pillar. Refusing to sit down.

Never in his life did he wish to be clueless, but for now - for this once - he would gladly be.

Not having to know that he would have to tell his other brother, Cassian eventually about his dead friend.

The friend he would have welcomed like a little sister - with a bone crashing hug. But Elain would not stand in the entrance hall and welcome him with a big smile, no.

Elain was probably floating somewhere in the water of the ocean. Enjoying the freedom of this world with her dead body.

His heart dropped as he realized it. As he realized that not only would he have to tell Cassian, no - he would also be in the need to tell Nesta Archeron.  

Nesta Archeron who will either way burn them all for not taking care of her sister better, or who will let herself suffer even more than the last year.

Drinking up every little drop of alcohol that is hidden away in Windhaven.

Azriel didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t help the tears in his eyes as he took in his family.  

Broken once again. Shattered hearts lying on the clean, white floor to their feet, trampled by some words. Words that turned everything upside down.

The male with the blue skin and the black hair lowered his head as he quietly said “I’m sorry for your lose.” and got up. Hurrying out of the house that was cloaked with sadness as a storm started to rage outside.  

The thunder trying to drown out Feyre’s sobs, but it was no use.

Feyre’s cries in the bright lit room, were the darkness to everyone. Cries that already once held a deathly message behind them.

But it were cries that everyone wanted to let lose, but didn’t dare.

Mor and Rhys trying to stay strong for Feyre, while Azriel and Amren simply refused to show how deep it affected both of them.  

The bobbing throats from both of them an evidence most people would have overseen, but not he and Elain.  

But now, since Elain was gone, it was only him to point out the signs of the helplessness of his family.

He hated himself for just standing there and watching them, he hated himself for locking eyes with Rhys, who just looked up for a moment from his mate, only to reveal the same sadness he tried to hide in alcohol when Feyre was about to get married to Tamlin.

Azriel knew why Rhys was affected so much by the death of the seer. He knew that she was like a second little sister to him. He knew that Rhys would make himself live in a personal hell for the next month's again. Blaming himself that he once again wasn't able to protect his little sister.

His heart sunk ones he saw the reflection of Amren in the window glass. The small female that sat on a chunky arm chair and looked stubbornly out into the dark. No one seemed to notice, that even the tiny female whipped away a tear in secret. Her glazy silver eyes piercing holes into the ground outside the window.  

Even Mor, who spent barely time with Elain -since she was out partying rather often-, had tears in her eyes as she comforted Feyre.  

As he took her in, he might have gone that far as to say to be happy, that the bright golden female wasn’t a close friend of the seer. Knowing that a breakdown of her would shatter his heart even more.  

No one knew how much time past as the sound of booming wings was heard over the loud thunder of the storm, Feyre’s loud weeping having ebbed down into quiet sobs.  

Azriel didn’t know where her body still got the strength to cry. After all, his struggled with even standing straight.  

“Guys?” yelled Cassian's booming voice into the house suddenly, the front door having been swung open with a lot of force. Just the same amount as it was closed with.  

The sounds of his wet boots made a splashing noise on the glassy white floor.

Shattering the silence into millions of tiny pieces around them.

Making now everyone realize that one of them had to draw the short straw and tell him and the fierce female back in Windhaven about the past away sister.

No one dared to move, as Cassian rounded the corner and stepped next to Azriel into the doorway, a bright smile on his face and looking like a wet dog as he approached them.  

The bun at the back of his head, as well as the lose strands of hair, clinging close to him. Dripping water down on the dry floor.

If it would have been any other moment Azriel might have had a sassy comment for his brother, but right now the shock sat too deep in him, that he could not even prevent his brother from asking, as he took in all of their dejected forms.

Cassian rose his brows at them.

“What? I’m flying for hours over here - from across that damn court- and yet no one of you has at least a little ‘Hello you prick!’ or ‘If it isn’t our beloved commander showing up at the door!’ to say?”

He sighed and shook his head in frustration, shaking the water off and a bit on Azriel, but the shadowsinger was still too frozen as to wipe away the drops on his leathers.

Cassian eyed him curious, but left it be. He didn’t question why Feyre looked like as if she had cut a dozen of onions, only millimetres away from her face, too.  

The commander most often knew that it was better not to question why their High Lady was crying, no one of them was a good choice to comfort her anyway, expect  for Rhys and Mor.  

And they already comforted her, so it was better not to pry anymore about it, but for once Azriel wished he would have done it, as he took off happily into the house with a whistle on his lips.

“Well, at least my little Lainy will be happy to see me!” he shouted back at them as an accusation and a warning to Elain, that a bone crushing hug would be the death of her.

Azriel grew nauseous at the thought and as Feyre started to weep loudly again - it shook him out of his trance. And he decided for all of them to draw the short straw.

Cassian stood confused at the foot of the winged staircase as he listened to Feyre’s weeping. Azriel just gestured him to move to the kitchen, there they could sit and talk in peace, but he’d also be able to listen to his torture.

His High Lady, the younger sister of a lovely fawn, cried because of his uselessness. She cried, because he wasn’t able to protect Elain the way he should have. She cried, because he hadn't pointed out the signs right.

And now he needed to listen.  

It just pained him that his brothers had to do it too.

Even though Feyre’s cries were only muffled audible in the kitchen, they still could be heard.

But as he sat down with Cassian at the small table, near one of the large windows that showed the street down to Velaris, it might not have been the best idea of his life to have this talk there.

There, in the kitchen, where everything still smelled like her. Her and her baked goods, he could also almost hear her sweet laugh echoing off the wall as she once had a flour fight with Nuala and Cerridwen.  

If the pain wouldn’t have been rotten in his heart, he would have smiled at the picture in his head. Elain in a mint green, light gown covered in a white layer of dust, throwing flour at the twins - just as they did at her. Her laugh as well of the twins echoing off the walls.

But now it was silent.  

And for once did his comfortable companion unnerve him. The silence around him and his fiery brother so thick he could have cut it with Truth Teller.

As Azriel gathered all his courage to tell his brother, who looked around confused for the seer, who would have been normally in here if she wasn’t in the garden or with her family.

Cassian eyed him with a worried look as his gaze ripped away from the clean kitchen counters. Not even covered by the ingredients the twins would use for dinner, but Azriel knew that there would be no dinner - maybe not even breakfast tomorrow. He knew that the twins heard the news as well and by the deep bond they shared with sweet Elain, he knew that they were off somewhere too.

Drowning in their own sadness - just like the rest of them did.

Only Cassian wasn’t - he was still confused by the lack of laughter and the seer. But all of his confused attention focused on Azriel - as he heard him swallow hard.

“Ask your question.” was all the Spymaster could rasp out, his voice thick from trying to swallow his cries.

Cassian only nodded and asked in a  whispered voice, as to no wake any more demons by asking the wrong question. “Where is Elain?”

Azriel’s shoulders tensed.  

Damn him and his direct route! Damn him and his piercing eyes, that looked into every soul!

But as much as Azriel hated that about his brother - he was glad about it too. Not having to start the topic.  

Perhaps he should have turned his hate towards himself as he realized that he would take the direct route too. Not able to pamper the fall of his brother as he would hear the news.

He just swallowed again.

The toxic word on his tongue felt like a handful of belladonnas in his mouth.

“Dead.” he simply said. Trying to get the bitter taste, in the back of his throat, out somehow, but he wasn’t able to.

Not when he heard his own words with so less emotion in them.  

This one word that made Cassian sink back in his chair. A chuckle on his pale lips as his shaking hands grabbed for the table edge with such force it started to splinter.  

His voice was not even a whisper, barely audible even for Azriel, as silver lined his eyes.

“You’re joking!”

Azriel just looked down at the table. Not able to meet the eyes of his brother as he shook his head, the shadows that curled restless around for the whole day, settled around him like a cloak.

As if they now too realized what was going on.

Cassian started to growl, a sound that sounded more like a strangled last breath, as he tried to hide his sobs.  

The table cracked as he asked, “Wich Bastard did this to her?!” his voice louder than before.

And now the even harder part would begin. Azriel shook his head again, his ink black hair hanging like a short curtain in his eyes. Blocking his own burning eyes out of view. His eyes that wanted to spill tears; tears he wouldn’t allow him to cry.

At least not now.

“No one.” was all he could breathe out.  

The words made Cassian sink back in his chair even more.

Azriel knew that he could have stabbed his brother in his big heart, it would have hurt him less as to tell him the truth.

The unspoken venomous word hanging in the air, like a deathly fog.

Suicide

Cassian didn’t ask any more questions, his heart already shattered.  

Azriel knew, he too lost a little sister.

The spymaster almost left in quietness to his room, to let his brother cry without any shame, the last words he told him hopefully a little salvation.

“I will be the one to tell Nesta.”  

Cassian only chocked as Azriel vanished into the shadows and stepped into his room.

His dark room - that now more than ever - felt like the little cell, he was imprisoned in for years.  

The walls coming suddenly very close, making him feel like as if they squished his large body into a small package.  

A package that fell to the floor like a rock - into a deep black sea of shadows.

Everything came crushing down on him as he lay there. A broken heart in a pit of salt.  

Azriel cried as everything seemed to stop moving. Time not a thing to worry about anymore.  

He cried as he remembered.

He remembered how his last conversation went with her.

He remembered how he wanted to apologize, for his horrible gift and his pushy behaviour.  

Fucking four Months after Winter Solstice!

He remembered how her skin went pale as she unpacked the dagger, he gifted her.  

She still smiled at him and told him she loved it, even though he could foresee the lie miles away.  

He remembered how he wanted to push her into training.  

He remembered how her golden-brown eyes swelled with tears as she screamed at him ‘I thought you, of all people, would understand at least a little bit!’

What he never told her, was that he truly understood her, but thought that she would understand too, why she needed training.

But she didn’t.

And so, he left.  

Left her alone in her garden once again. For days, for weeks, for months.

Never apologizing for his behaviour.

Never giving her the other present he got her.  

But now it was too late, too late for him to apologize, too late to talk.

Now the only thing he could do was weep over the hole she left. A hole who he didn’t even knew who filled it.

He knew that Elain filled a hole in him, which he didn’t even know existed, but he never got to find out if it was a friend, a sister or someone else who filled it and winded it into the shape of a black hole.

Azriel knew that Rhys, Cass and Nesta had lost a little sister. While Feyre lost an older sister. Morrigan lost a stranger that was part of her family and Amren lost a friend, a friend that was her student in casting spells.

But Azriel didn’t know who he lost as he lay on the floor and cried. Tears he would never allow anyone to see, as he listened to the sob's downstairs.

He closed his eyes as he tried to take heavy breaths, breaths that felt like shattered glass in his lungs, as he tried to calm down.

His arms wrapped around him.

His shivering form covered in black in the pitch-black room.

His shadows a blanket that brought him a sleep full of nightmares, but also an answer.

Only a whisper in the back of his head.  

Lover.

                                                *******

The wind was unbending as she landed on the muddy forest floor.  

Setting the companion, she just carried here, down carefully.  

“Where are we?” asked her companion in the dark.  

The sky was even darker than usual, the storm having hung the sky with heavy black clouds.  

“Don’t worry my Goldenrod, we’re almost home.”  

A sweet sigh from the cloaked form beside her was heard, as she started to marsh over the clearing. The mud of the forest making her old boots heavy with the sticky earth.  

Thunder was heard in the far distance, yet her frightened companion rushed to her, as only moments later the next flash of a lightning tremored through the dark sky.  

Tinting the clearing for a short moment in a bright white light.  

The sound of thunder was heard again.

The young fae female, cloaked in a white cloak, rushed to her arm and clung to it.  

The Illyrian female only giggled, which was barely audible in the pouring of the rain, but she still heard it.

The female that saved her life two weeks ago, heard, and looked up at her with a wipe of her head.

Her white, with gold lined hood covered the piercing gaze she’d thrown at her now for the thousands time. Her dunning words, stumbled slowly over her chattering teeth as she wrapped the cloak closer.

“D-don’t l-laugh at me!”  

Every part of her petite body shivered from the cold. The wind whipping and howling around them, like a pack of wolves.

The rain having already seeped into their cold skin - thanks to the hour-long flight in the rain.

Both were cold, just was the Illyrian female used to ignoring it, while her innocent, white companion only knew the warmth of a hearth.  

Out of instinct did the taller female put a wing around her, as well as an arm as she practically dragged her companion over to the rim of the dark forest.

“Don’t worry. We’re almost there.”  

She repeated again.  

Her Goldenrod giggled. “You’re repeating yourself, Fersia.”

Fersia smiled down at her, of course her Goldenrod was the first to make her repeat herself again.

Of course, was this petite female the exception to the rule.

She would always be, after all she was the first to save her life.

And now she was the first Fersia would ever bring to her home.

She would also be the first one she would introduce to her Mother.

Fresia tugged her a little closer into her side as they entered the thick line of pine trees that led the way to her home.

She wanted to pick up her pace, but her Goldenrod stopped suddenly, looking worriedly back to the clearing instead, whispering to her in a hushed voice, “Did you hear that?”  

Fresia started to listen closer to her surroundings, but heard nothing over the thunder and the pouring rain. The forest was dangerous in the night, it was dangerous during day too, but most of all was it dangerous when it rained.

The fact that it was night and it rained made the whole situation only worse and Fersia just wanted to get home with her Goldenrod as soon and as save as possible, so she shook it off and started to walk again - dragging her white companion with her.

Fersia noticed that she kept looking back again from time to time, but kept continuing walking.

With little knowledge that her greatest danger had long approached.

___________________________________________________________

That was it so far :)

Second seed:  My shadows are demons, but so is my sunshine

Please tell me in the comments if you liked it or not. 

Tag list (If you want to be added just ask right away) :

@tanaquilpriscilla​   @generousfanfan 

[nonhero]

**adapted  from  this post **!   RULES:  bold  what definitely applies  to  your  muse. italicize what somewhat applies  to  your  muse. repost  ;  do  NOT  reblog.

𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙰𝙽 »     toothy grins, stories around the campfire, clothes covered in pet hair, hot temper, old jeans, heartbeat in head, potatoes and steak, beaded jewelry, bruise like galaxies, mementos, backpack stuffed full, craigslist furniture, spontaneous road trips, air ripped from lungs.

𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙳 »     homemade bread, white lies, easily excited, trying on hats, band geek, pep talks, no impulse control, sunsets, vintage fashion, long showers, selfies, following dreams, rosy cheeks, song mash-ups, pink lemonade with tequila, loves easily, animated storyteller, full of comebacks.

𝙲𝙻𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙲 »     list of wishes, biting their tongue, band-aids & neosporin, shoulder to cry on, morning sun, necklaces, trial & error, homemade quilts, formal clothing, astrology fan, messages in bottles, pleated braids, speaking up for friends, feathers, motivational quotes, vivid dreams.

𝙳𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙳 »  bird watching, shy kid, wind chimes, trying to whistle, summer camp, apple orchards, lost in their head, glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, hoodies, thrift shopping, saving worms off the sidewalk, pig latin, bare feet, thunderstorms, numb fingers, braided hair, naming potted plants.

𝙵𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝙴𝚁 »  goosebumps, leather jackets, adventure, chewing nails, cares deeply but can’t show it, bronze locks, no sleep, taste of iron, netflix binges, never forgets, combat boots, stories behind scars, table for one, official soundtracks, sore calves, trusts themselves the most.

𝙼𝙾𝙽𝙺 »   always trying to be better, wanderlust, meditation, sweatpants, old photographs, yoga, sleeping in hammocks, nostalgia, minimalist design, breath of fresh air, baby animals, volunteering, perfectionist, doesn’t care about fashion, healthy snacks, noticing the little things.

𝙿𝙰𝙻𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽 »     school uniforms, thick jackets, sleeping with the windows open, logical advice, scrapbooking, compasses, i fight for my friends, sculpture gardens, cold morning air, big soul, likes routine,** secret romantic**, last to get jokes, sunflowers, practical presents, misty weather.

𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝚁 »     herbal tea, smell of rain, blinking away tears, camping trips, collecting bones, swiss army knives, first impressions, anxious thoughts, bobby pins, burnt marshmallows, too competitive, clothes lines, messenger bags, holding grudges, gets along better with animals than people.

𝚁��𝙶𝚄𝙴 » flirtatious sarcasm,  candid photos, lost phone chargers, adrenaline rush, picking dirt out from beneath their nails, social chameleon, clashing clothes, self-deprecating jokes, claw machines, sits in chairs wrong, smudged eyeliner, has too many sunglasses, eats nothing or everything.

𝚂𝙾𝚁𝙲𝙴𝚁𝙴𝚁 »    infectious laugh, family trees, shivers down their spine, lipstick & roses, mood swings, clumsy, believing in destiny, high expectations, sleeping in darkness, collection of nail polish, passionate, good grades but never studies, poetry books, blowing kisses, not knowing their own strength.

𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙻𝙾𝙲𝙺 »     knowing everyone’s secrets, backpack covered in pins, envy, being in Walmart late at night, earl grey, selective memory, conspiracy theories & cryptids, keysmashing, need to know basis, can’t cook, bags under eyes, experimental art, flickering bulbs, black clothing all year long.

𝚆𝙸𝚉𝙰𝚁𝙳 »     piles of textbooks, cat in lap, keeping a diary, indecision, scented candles, studying alone in a café, lingering touches, museum dates, unanswered questions, taking on too much responsibility, collections, chalk dust, comfy robes, unnecessary apologies, coming home after a long day.

tagged by: @foreshowing​ , thank you so much for tagging me, love c;

tagging: @puresthearted​, @hellcures​, @halervse​, @powerbound​, @diabolusq​ & you, the one reading this, consider i tagged you!! <3

[im-fairly-whitty]

*slides in like a baseball player* soooo how about that theory that Hans never wanted to turn on Anna but was cursed by the trolls, who were trying to get Kristoff In position to take over the kingdom as their'payment' for saving Anna all those years ago? And meanwhile the real Hans is trapped in his own mind struggling to break free and set things right?

Good grief I hate that that makes sense.

I mean aside from Hans’ clear character mandhandling, the biggest concern I have in-movie is that fact that the trolls straight up abduct a human child and evidently experience no consequences for their kidnapping as it’s never addressed in the movie. They see Kristoff as a kind of big stupid lovable pet that they delight in lovingly insulting and trying to pair up with the first female human they see him with because it’s just so entertaining.

They obviously care for Kristoff and seems to have the ability to be concerned for humans (after all they do try to help the royal family when they approach the troll chief) but it’s clear from their flippant eagerness to instantly marry off Kristoff and their abduction of him in the first place that they operate according to a moral code separate from humans.

(As a side note, when they took Kristoff as a child they likely left a changeling in his place to keep his family from noticing his absence and coming looking for him. Kristoff is well dressed and has his own pet reindeer which means he belongs to a successful ice merchant family who would absolutely be missed otherwise.

The decoy “child” shooed back to join the ice traders while the trolls made off with Kristoff would either have been a young troll or even something like a stick enchanted to look like Kristoff, only to eventually lose its enchantment and reveal to Kristoff’s horrified parents what terrifying trick had been played on them once it was too late for them to reclaim their child. Truly awful.)

Given this clear and deeply rooted disregard for humans it’s not a leap at all to think that the trolls would enchant Hans in order to free up Anna to marry their Kristoff, despite both Anna and Kristoff protesting.

Aside from motivation we see on screen that the trolls have the ability to erase and or manipulate human memories at will with barely more than a few handwaves when Anna’s memories are shuffled around. This could easily have been done to Hans as well, which would finally explain his egregious and unexplained 180 in character with zero foreshowing or hindsight hinting at all from the writers. 

(Keep in mind however that while this as an in-universe explanation makes a fantastic amount of sense, the fact that we as the viewers have to put together so many missing pieces ourselves to make sense of perhaps the most important character moment in the movie speaks to how terribly his arc was handled by the writers.)

This poor child. Hashtag justice for Hans and seriously also Kristoff who did not deserve childhood abduction from his family and who quite frankly probably had other unethical magical alterations made to him to allow him to subsist on a diet of fungus and moss and dirt. 

Which is too long for a hashtag so I’ll put it here.

[mesillusionssousecstasy]

Review of “Game of Thrones” by George R. R. Martin

What to say? So much to say, unspoken words let unanswered.

First of all, the best and strongest POV were those of Tyrion, Arya, Brad and Daenerys so far. Weakest and most boring of all, the one of Catelyn which brings not so much of informations and Jon's POV wasn't as good as expected, what did he really achieved, seriously ?

However, it seems that in almost every sentence of George R.R. Martin foreshadowing event is promised (and after watching season 7 of GOT) you know since the beginning where he wants to guide us. Every words is prophetic. For example : "Fire is mine. I am Daenerys Stormborn, daughter of dragons (from Aerys II and Rhaella), bride of dragons (as for her future husband, Aegon Taragaryen aka Jon Snow), mother of dragons (Drogon, Rhaegal, Viserion)." and this travel the all book.

Also I'm quite sad we were not allow to be in Varys' head which must be very interesting, mysterious and dangerous.

The last chapter of the first tome have ended with the Daenery's POV and the waking up of the dragons, so can we understand it as a foreshowing for the last chapter of the last book? Any thoughts?

One last thing, the characters talk so much about Prince Rhaegar that it seems he may be still alive and all this rebellion was a just a nightmare and nothing more.

After rereading this book, I have noticed that Daenerys is surrounded by Death, Fire and Bran's chapters during all the story.  

Ps: Everyone is look for Stannis, where are you ;)

[myjeremyjordan]

*a part* of that is crucial in tl5y- here’s my input

If Jason Robert Brown were to have at any point removed the space between a & part- the meaning would be completely different. I noticed a few things so bear with me here- it’s gonna be long but worth it.

I think this song is crucial for Jamie and Cathy’s story as well because it’s the first song we sort of get a glimpse on how Cathy feels and truly sees the relationship. It’s easy to ponder what she may be feeling due to circumstances- but this is her side.

The scene is literally starting at one of Jamie’s book signing/parties- as it shows multiple- and it even says he is the number one best seller. Being a struggling actress always facing failure- it is no doubt she felt left out and behind, I mean who wouldn’t.

You see a bunch of women surrounding both Jamie and Cathy. Jamie is content (not by the other women’s attention) but content so many people love his work. He is happy and excited. Cathy is slightly annoyed at these people’s questions, but keeps peering over at Jamie to see what he is doing, still answering their questions. She is not 100% with him in the moment, as you can tell she wants to so badly, but she’s still a part of his success and fame here, and she’s happy, just like Jamie, for that.

And then comes the part where she captures Jamie smiling- which is also *crucial* to understand.

Cathy is not working on writing, she’s working on her dress in the background which, just like her acting career, is showing no luck. She is looking pretty uninterested and bored, due to her lack of success, which is shown in a darker lighting and farther back (partially because Jamie is the main focus, but that’s just an important additive I noted)

meaning- her dress and fame is not a success, unlike Jamie, so she is in the darkness.

Jamie here is center, in camera focus, and in the brighter lighting. She picks up the camera at the exact moment he smiles and feels inspired to write once again- and she is seen feeling Inspired and happily starts working on her dress again. In this moment- they are both happy, excited, and determined on what they are doing. She’s a part of his success in a way. They inspire each other and that is why it was so hard to see them not work out in the end. Here is crucial to see that yes they did infact benefit from each other. Cathy felt motivation by just seeing his smile which in this song she seems to love the most. They weren’t always fighting or cheating. They are content, giddy and in love!

***I also noted that Jamie’s book is called Light out of Darkness- and Cathy is in the darkness but experiences the light of inspiration once the picture was taken. Coincidence?***

Cathy is seen with a bunch of reporters- she’s a part of the fame and success now because she is correlated with Jamie’s. She’s vibrant here for once because she’s experiencing the success she wants but can’t find.

“I said I'd stick it out

And follow through,

And when I do-

Then he smiles,

And where else can I go”

Cathy is again reiterating the fact she loves this man. And the relationship, and to just stick it out (because she isn’t experiencing the fame) and when she does- he smiles! It’s worth it. She does imply “where else can I go” showing her frustrations and possibly wanting to leave it all. But in the end- he’s happy and she’s just as happy for him and feels lucky to be a part of this life with him, she can’t leave it or him- even though she’s thinking it.

At one point she questions herself, looks down and says “I’m a part of that, aren’t I?” while glancing over at Jamies success. Here is clearly seeing her self doubt once again and the scene quickly cuts-showing ultimately her sadness and jealousy. The music also in that moment gets slower and “sadder”sounding with the reoccurring violin- foreshowing what is it come.

She finally finishes his book “Light out of Darkness” looking frazzled- but flips back to the front page to see Jamie dedicated his entire work to Cathy. She’s instantly happy and brought back again, and takes a deep breath because she was a part of his fame all along.

My point being, the song and meaning could of been completely different if it was “I’m Apart of that”. Because then that would mean she’s far from everything- she can’t experience what the fame is like, the happiness and giddy feeling she so longs for. She wouldn’t of seen his uprising and struggles. But she is a part of that all along- and even Jamie’s hardest piece of work was all for her. He thinks of her, and she is always thinking of him.

Even though Jamie ultimately decided to end things- while it’s made clear Cathy thought early on of leaving possibly too- he can never deny Cathy inspired his story. It’s forever written in the thousand upon thousands of books he sold to make him number one. Whenever he opens his hardest piece of work- he will always be reminded of Cathy and how she was a part of that all along.

[kmalexander]

Gleam Upon the Soundtrack

In the past, I’ve released my book playlists before the launch of the book. These tend to be inspiration playlists, not the music I find myself writing to. (If you’re interested in a “writing playlist,” let me know in the comments! I’d be happy to assemble something. There’s very much a “type” of music I listen to when writing a Bell Forging Cycle book.) Since Gleam Upon the Waves has been out for a little over a week, I thought I’d go a step further and not only share the playlist but give a few details, why I chose particular songs, and how I felt they reflected (and inspired) aspects of the story.

First, the playlist! Jam out, roaders.

Not a Spotify fan? The playlist is also over on YouTube.

SPOILER WARNING

The following details will contain Gleam Upon the Waves spoilers. So, if you’re still reading, I’d recommend avoiding the rest of this post until after you finished the book. For the rest of you, let’s head deeper into the playlist.

Prologue

Sons and Daughters – American Spirit

Sleep now child beneath The heavy current Dragging you along

This was the song that inspired this book. Something about life dragging you through the wringer without caring about your desires or plans cemented itself inside my head (even well before 2020.)

Chapter 1 & 2

Baltimore Blues No. 1 – Deer Tick

Can you hear the sound of the crawling flesh Now can you smell the burning desire This place is too small to hide All the ghosts that’s kicking around inside

There’s something gritty to this Deer Tick song. I felt it was a nice pairing to Wal putting on airs and wearing suits—despite his intentions, he can’t hide who he is. His problems will not disappear. Lovat devours.

Chapter 3

Gates of Dawn – Heartless Bastards

I have awoken The footsteps sound of thunder

While this tune more positive than Wal’s experience, I thought opening a new reality deserved a song that had a similar impact. I’m also a sucker for Erika Wennerstrom’s vocals. (Probably why Heartless Bastards make an appearance a little later.)

Chapter 1-3

How Deep Is The Ocean – Miles Davis

Like I wouldn’t include this in an ocean-themed playlist.

Chapter 4

bury a friend – Billie Eilish

Why aren’t you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

I had this chapter in my head since Red Little World. I also read it for Dead Drop Live last week. I loved the idea of Ashton being this ghost that haunts Wal—an echo of his past. One he weirdly cares about despite understanding that he’s an enemy. Eilish’s pop-minimalism just felt right for a decoupled avatar whom you may or may not want dead.

Chapter 5

Wild and Wasted Waters – Kill It Kid

Wild and wasted waters Have come to carry me on

For something so deadly, humans have an odd fascination with water. Also, this song fits with Wal being entirely out of his element. It’s helped by the Alan Lomax sample that works too well as an undercurrent for the story happening to Wal.

Chapter 6 & 7

Blood on your Bootheel – Caroline Rose

Think if you act like a man, you can alter this wheel; You can make it in this world without that blood on your bootheels

“Altering the wheel” is something Wal has attempting for a while (since Old Broken Road, if we’re honest,) but he can’t change his destiny. He can kick against the goads as much as he wants, but fate will drag him along whether he wants it or not.

Chapter 8

‘Round Midnight – Thelonious Monk

No lyrics, but man what a song. (If you haven’t noticed, any of the jazz numbers I call out in the books end up in my playlists.)

Chapter 9 & 10

Glitter & Gold – Barns Courtney

Do you ponder the manner of things In the dark The dark, the dark, the dark

Wal’s damn lucky for a guy that can’t escape his reality, eh? There’s also an element of foreshowing here. With the cult’s interest Wal can’t escape his past just like he can’t escape fate.

Chapter 11

Lovecraft in Brooklyn – The Mountains Goats

Someday something’s coming From way out beyond the stars To kill us while we stand here It’ll store our brains in mason jars

If you’ve read the last three books, it should be obvious why I included this one. Also, John Darnielle is a national treasure and should be protected at all costs.

Chapter 12, 13, & 14

Sirens – Lola Marsh

In a million years It’ll all be over Within a million years It’ll all be over

Yael Shoshana Cohen’s voice is incredible. There is a vastness in this song that matched the tone of the Wasteland. It also deals with time on an epic scale, and that’s something I appreciated—it’s cosmicy without being overt.

Chapter 15

Postcards From Hell – The Wood Brothers

I got a soul that I won’t sell And I don’t read postcards from hell

I hope you caught how Gleam Upon the Waves reflects the other stories up until this point. Wal waking in a hospital and pushing himself out of bed is awfully familiar. Despite what he’s faced with, Wal tends not to stop. He’s relentless. Tell him things are bad, and he keeps going. His tenacity is admirable, if not a bit foolish.

Chapter 16 & 17

Wicked Waters – Benjamin Booker

This must be where I lose it all, darling Throw myself into wicked waters

Again, water. Maybe our pal acted a bit too rashly?

Chapter 18

Ding Ding Dong – Waipod Petchsuphan

For all its familiarity, Empress is a foreign place, and Wal is a stranger. This poppy Thai luk thung track from ’76 sparked similar emotions for me. It’s familiar, borrowing from common themes, but at the same time it’s different from other music of the era. It’s also a bop.

Chapter 19

Hello, Darling – Conway Twitty

Hello darlin’, nice to see you, it’s been a long time

Should be fairly obvious.

Chapter 20

Figure It Out – Royal Blood

Nothing better to do When I’m stuck on you And still I’m here Trying to figure it out

This is a fairly big reveal, and while the theme of the song is related to Wal’s relationship with Essie, it’s even more complicated. “Figuring it out” is kinda a thing here, see?

Chapter 21, 22, & 23

You Want it Darker – Leonard Cohen

There’s a lullaby for suffering And a paradox to blame But it’s written in the scriptures And it’s not some idle claim You want it darker We kill the flame

Cohen’s last album deals with death and loss, there’s a heaviness to it, and it felt fitting for this section of the book.

Chapter 24, 25, 26

Mean Old World – Big Bill Broonzy

This is a mean old world to live in, I’m just travelin’ through It’s a mean old world to live in, I’m just travelin’ through Yes, sometime I get so blue, that I don’t know what to do

Another one that should be obvious. Poor Wal. Who’s the jerk that subjects him to this?

Chapter 27 & 28

Madness – Ruelle

Nowhere to run from all of this havoc Nowhere to hide From all of this madness, madness, madness

Eventually, you can only experience so much before it all just begins to break down.

Chapter 29 & 30

Sway – Heartless Bastards

So, I stumble and I sway into the room and I fade I hope my darkest day are behind me I want to stay here in the sun for a while I hope my darkest days are behind me

There’s a spark of hope here, and I feel like there’s a spark of hope in these chapters as well. Yes, two Heartless Bastard songs in this playlist. You’re going to have to deal.

Chapter 31

Remains – Algiers

While the captors boast On how they lower your costs The rich men gamble At the foot of the cross

When you make a decision, you need to be ready to deal with the outcome.

Chapter 32

Revival – Soulsavers

Why am I so blind With my eyes wide open, oh? Trying to get my hands Clean in dirty water

A song about people doing something they feel is right even though reality clashes with that desire, and somehow, at their core, they know it. If that doesn’t fit the Deeperists, I don’t know what would.

Chapter 33 & 34

The Church Bell’s Moan – Bror Gunnar Jansson

Don’t you hear them?

Ring the bell and eventually they’ll come.

Chapter 35 & 36

Get Loud for Me – Gizzle

I see my goal and get cold as December when Counting our sins, I don’t have no friends I came here to win, my start is your end Now let it begin now

FIGHT. FIGHT. FIGHT. Also, this is such a great reflection of the previous song that I had to include it.

Chapter 37 & 38

The End – Kings of Leon

This could be the end This could be the end This could be the end This could be the end ‘Cause I ain’t got a home

A song about change and facing that change. Felt like a fitting end to this playlist. 

Chapter 37 & 38… again

I See A Darkness – Johnny Cash & Bonnie “Prince” Billy

And did you know how much I love you Is a hope that somehow you you Can save me from this darkness?

Wait, never mind. This is even more fitting.

Chapter 37 & 38… for real this time

The Parting Glass – Hozier

Of all the comrades that ere I had, they’re sorry for my going away, And of all the sweethearts that ere I had, they wish me one more day to stay, But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise while you should not, I will gently rise and I’ll softly call, “Goodnight and joy be with you all!”

No… this one.

So, that’s Gleam Upon the Soundtrack, a Gleam Upon the Waves playlist! I hope everyone enjoyed a glimpse into my musical inspirations. It’s really fun to assemble these things and reflect on why particular songs spoke to me over another. I totally understand why other authors do it as well. This isn’t the only playlist I’ve made for my novels, you can check out the other ones here.

Once again, thanks to everyone for picking up Gleam Upon the Waves. I’m really proud of it, and I hope you enjoyed your time back in the Territories. If you haven’t nabbed your copies yet, you can do so from any of the links below.

Buy the paperback:

Amazon – Barnes & Noble 

Buy the eBook:

Kindle – Kobo – Nook – Apple Books – GooglePlay

Finally, if you’ve finished Gleam, please leave an honest review, and if you liked it, tell your friends! Thank you for making Gleam Upon the Waves one of the books you chose to read this year. Time is finite and it’s an honor you decided to spend some of yours with my book.

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[rudastu]

DAZE has been one hell of a ride but it's over (thank you for your support family and friends). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ People ask me about this page. They assume it's an error but it's a poem! (There are errors since I wanted to keep the same ebook I published in 2016. That's also why the cover is blurry, etc.") Who cares now? The point was to put it in the universe and get feedback. Back to the poem - I added 2013 as a literary device! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It's not in the table of contents because it's hidden. Some people didn't even notice it! It foreshows Pt.2 which will be in The Miseducation of the Last Dragon! My last poetry book EVER!!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In 2013, as I became Rudy "The Stupendous Writer" Brown, I graduated college, and caught a FED CASE at damn near the same time. Can you imagine facing 8 years for something dumb as hell? I couldn't either. smh. The complete story is told in the form of a poem. Stay Tuned for the release date. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The pre-orders for Stupendous Vernacular Inspired By Energy of the Soul (Vibes) start tomorrow July. 31...(I'll show you the cover). This collection of poems is much more polished and the book meets standard quidelines, however the style is similar. It just evolved ( I don't rhyme as much). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Closing this chapter on life! Daze is literally the story of me growing up in Denver but knowing I would have to leave to accomplish my goals. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ New Chapter In Life: I'm now working on my novel, "The Dichotomy of Dope." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I give you more details later but it's based off of my short story - "Elijah's Redemption," which I wrote for class in 2011 or 2012. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I work on the novel for 30 straight days every November for National Write a Novel Month. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Technically you are suppose to write a new novel every year in a month but novels don't pay that well so.... enough said! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #DAZE #Poetry #Thefoundation #enegry (at Dunwoody, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0jC1YGg5qI/?igshid=1udidxsvaidu7

[that-sci-fi-nerd-blog]

Fear Her

Series: 2

Episode: 11

Writer: Matthew Graham 

Director: Euros Lyn

Plot Summary: It’s the time of the London 2012 Olympics, but rather than celebrating, the Doctor and Rose find themselves helping a young girl who seemingly has the ability to make people go missing by drawing them.

Review: The first few seconds of ‘Fear Her’ alone portray great juxtaposition which sets the tone immediately. It opens with a wonderfully bright shot of a banner declaring the London 2012 Olympics before panning along the street in which the majority of the episode is set and dipping briefly into the lives of a few citizens living there as cheery exclamations of ‘good morning’ mingle with upbeat background music; however, we soon discover that something isn’t quite right about the neighbourhood as the music takes a suspenseful tone when the camera fixates on a ‘missing’ poster. An old woman called Maeve increases the tension by nervously glancing round claiming she can “feel” something – I did enjoy the irony of her saying “Doctor can’t help”. This scene, with Chloe looking down from her window ominously drawing as the child disappears is brilliant exposition.

When the TARDIS materialises, it’s parked in the wrong direction so the Doctor has to rematerialise it once he realises his mistake. There’s something sweet about this little quirk of writing, as it draws attention to the Doctor’s imperfections which makes him seem more humans and his situation more realistic. In fact, there are a few times in this episode where the Doctor isn’t quite as useful or aware of his surroundings as usual, which is interesting:

·    At the start, the Doctor is so eager to show off to Rose that, funnily enough, he misses the obvious and Rose is the one who picks up on the ‘missing’ posters. 

·   The local citizens are clearly wary of the Doctor, as Tom’s dad doesn’t believe he is a policeman (rightly so), but Rose’s presence makes him less of a threat.

·   Rose is the one who figures out that Chloe is the source of the trouble; the Doctor wasn’t even paying attention to Chloe, as shown when Rose mentions “the girl”, to which the Doctor replies, “Of course! What girl?”

·   The Doctor straight up sticks his fingers in a marmalade jar not realising it’s rude, and Rose has to give a stern cough and shake of the head to instruct him not to do it (this isn’t particularly significant but I thought it was amusing)

·   Due to Chloe’s drawings, the Doctor ends up going missing during the most vital part of the episode – although he does help Rose by pointing to the Olympic torch in his drawing and carries the torch at the end, he is still absent while Rose figures out what to do.

This can be compared to the times in which Rose is imperative to solving the conflict of the episode:

·   Rose notices the ‘missing’ posters as previously mentioned.

·   Rose’s first move after the Doctor runs off at the start is to help the council worker, Kel, move another man’s car, proving her physical capabilities.·         Where the Doctor trusts his intuition in this episode by sniffing, touching, etc, Rose is more logical by using common sense and taking action based on what she sees, which ends up being most useful.

·  When in Chloe’s house, Rose takes the initiative to snoop around by pretending to go to the toilet, which results in her finding Chloe’s drawings.

·  When the Doctor disappears, Rose figures out where the Isolus pod is, digs it up, realises that she needs to get it in the Olympic torch (although the Doctor does prompt this), and manages to throw it in there.

Therefore, without Rose’s initiative, deductions, and physical strength in this episode, the Doctor would have taken a hell of a lot longer to solve the problem. Equally, without the Doctor’s Time Lord senses/powers, knowledge of the Isolus, and involvement with the Olympic torch at the end, Rose would have been unable to help. Basically, their teamwork and dynamic as a duo was really showcased in this episode, likely as a run-up to the finale.

A major theme in this episode, which I suppose links to the emphasis of the Doctor and Rose’s relationship, is loneliness. There are a few instances of loneliness shown through various different characters:

Firstly, we have Chloe Webber, whose isolation is at the centre of the episode, and the main cause of conflict. Her loneliness stems from her dysfunctional family, as there are hints that her father was abusive, and this in addition to his death would likely have damaged the relationship between Chloe and her mother. Rather than being close with her mother, Chloe instead seeks solace in ‘friends’, i.e. children she steals through her drawings, which only increases the rift between the family members.

Chloe’s mother is also isolated due to her daughter’s detachment. She attempts to encourage Chloe to be a part of the community by showing her the Olympics on TV and saying “doesn’t that make you feel part of something?” – this becomes significant later on and gets twisted as Chloe realises she can draw all the crowds at the Olympics so they can join her. Chloe’s mother also isolates herself from the neighbourhood because she doesn’t think anyone will believe her, this is solved when the Doctor explains he understands her situation so she is no longer alone. 

The Isolus is the main antagonist of the episode, as it causes children to go missing, although this is out of loneliness rather than any kind of hatred like most Doctor Who villains; in fact, the Isolus has quite the opposite motivation, since it acts out of a desire to be loved. This means the Doctor (and the audience) is able to empathise with the creature, which is likely also due to his position as the last of his kind, another recurring theme of the show.

Another element of loneliness I briefly noticed is that of the neighbours themselves. They are clearly part of a close-knit community which deteriorates as the citizens turn on each other when children go missing; this shows a strength in numbers kind of situation.

The loneliness for each of the characters is eventually solved in the conclusion: Chloe finds consolation in her relationship with her mother after the Isolus leaves and they fend off the sentient drawing of her father together; the Isolus is reunites with its family by its pod being charged; the children are all returned from the drawings so the neighbourhood becomes closer than ever; and the Doctor eventually.

Towards the end of the episode, the Doctor carrying the Olympic torch over the final stretch was arguably a bit over the top but I appreciated the sentiment behind it. The episode then ends on an incredibly upbeat tone which is ironic considering the killer of a finale ahead; there is some tragic foreshowing in Rose’s words as she tells the Doctor, “They keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will”, to which the Doctor replies “Never say never ever”. He ends the episode with the final ominous phrase, “a storm’s coming”…

Quote: “Fear, loneliness. They're the big ones, Rose. Some of the most terrible acts ever committed have been inspired by them. We're not dealing with something that wants to conquer or destroy. There's a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive, wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.” - the Doctor