#the fish are a little kooky

[ratatatastic]

welcome to i get to talk about baseball and hockey together this time apparently everyone has fucking grown up with matthew how do people still keep coming out of the woodwork feat my cringefail baseball team the fish (said with love and disdain)

theres a lot of parallels of man gets drafted to a franchise that is the equivalent of a burning dumpster fire, finds haven in south florida once traded, helps leads them to a playoff appearance first year there and becomes a fan favourite.

what kills me the most is that the first thing jakey did after being traded at the '23 deadline from the soxs and finally landing in miami for his first presser is go hi matthew! (x)

and then because it was the hockey offseason we got our beatwriters to go oh my god they knew each other? and we get this fucking article (x)

I mean, I used to play baseball but I have no First Pitch or pitching background at all. I was never the guy that—I don't think—was good enough to pitch. I was more on the hitting side. I'm sure if we were doing batting practise, I'll be better than this pitch. (x)

I knew he [Matthew Tkachuk] played [baseball] growing up, we played against each other when we were little but you know, I think he ultimately chose the right direction. (x)

i just greatly enjoy hockey man talk about baseball and i also terribly enjoy jakey corroborating matthews "bad at pitching very good at hitting" (x) stance considering his first pitch endeavour in 22 wasnt even anywhere near the plate he went "oh boy!" (x)

"his childhood friend is such a good athelete he would have been a star in any sport" on another episode of matthew touches every mans heart that he meets...

"How old were you when you started playing [hockey] with him [Matthew Tkachuk]?"

I would say probably around, like, 8 or 9 years old. You know, the community in St. Louis—hockey there is so big. You start running into guys. A lot of the '97s would kinda play with us ['96s] I mean, Luke Kunin, who plays for San Jose, lived five houses away from me growing up. Anytime the '97s and '96s wanted to get out on the pond, it was always a fun time.

And finally the most important thing of all

"What position did you play?"

guess whos the winger and whos the 3rd baseman

the narrative is compelling and the parallels are paralleling thank you for coming to my powerpoint presentation

[wileycap]

The Stupidest Things In Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender: A List

a.k.a.

a whiny rant from someone who has dedicated far too many of their already limited number of braincells to atla i know it's just a tv show but come on this is what tumblr is for let me whine

For your consideration, with many spoilers:

5. Katara Being Smug After Kicking Jet's Ass

In the original, Katara is betrayed by Jet. You can feel the raw emotion in the words "I trusted you! You're sick, and I trusted you!" immediately followed by her concern for the innocent people Jet has seemingly murdered. It's not a triumph, it's a wound, and the next time she sees Jet, her first reaction is "kill on sight".

This is great. It's heartwrenching, it's humanizing, and Katara using violence against Jet isn't a victory for her. It's just pain.

In the live action, Katara very mildly chastises Jet for trying to kill innocent people, which is... an interesting characterization for her, to say the least. Jet then tries to grab her, immediately followed by Katara throwing him and freezing him. She then just tells him goodbye. Her tone is placid, almost unaffected.

And then Jet says "Look at the power you have. That's because of me!"

Katara: "That wasn't you. That was me."

And then she strides off with a small smile, and that's the end of that. Sokka and Aang are not present. It's an incredibly hokey moment that's meant to emulate the style of feminine empowerment, but it has none of the substance. It glosses over any human feelings of hurt and betrayal. All that the it ends up doing is removing a story beat for Katara.

4. The Badgermoles

"They're blind! They sense feelings and react to them! Anger, fear... but mostly love."

Katara and Sokka hold hands in a cave and it makes the badgermole stop attacking them.

The blind badgermoles. Navigate by... love.

Yeah.

Do I need to say anything? Can we all see (pun intended) how stupid that is?

3. Bumi Makes Aang Choose Between Killing Him Or Letting Himself Die To Make The Dumbest Point Imaginable

Remember Bumi? Aang's old friend, a fun, kooky king? Well, here he's an actual fucking psychopath.

He collapses part of the roof onto Aang, and Aang holds it up with airbending. Another part of the roof collapses on Bumi, and Bumi just... shrugs his shoulders, fully intending to die. Aang holds that one up as well, and Bumi, instead of helping, makes the dumbest fucking point I've ever heard about "making tough choices", and urges Aang to let the boulder crush him.

Again. Bumi, the fun, wise king, wants Aang to kill him.

The situation is defused by Katara freezing a little strip on the floor so that Sokka can very slowly slide on it and tackle Bumi to safety. I can not emphasize how slow his slide is. Running would have been faster. Bumi has time to look at him and say "Huh?" as Sokka slowly slides across the floor. Oh, yeah, they were led onto the scene by the love-sensing badgermoles.

Then it's Aang's turn to be dumb. He says "you CAN rely on your friends" and hands Bumi a friendship rock. Bumi is pacified for now, but there is no telling when his next Saw trap will activate.

This made me actually feel bad. I just. I kept expecting for it to turn into a secret lesson, like Bumi in the original show, but it never did. Bumi's just a spiteful psychopath who is easily swayed by the gifting of rocks.

2. Koh The Face-Stealer Has A Backstory Now

Why? Mother of Faces? What? No.

No.

Iroh Is Intimidated By Zhao, And Then He Kills Zhao

Ah, Live Action Iroh. The most ineffectual man on the planet.

So, Zhao has the Moon Koi in a bag, and is ready to stab it with his special stabbing implement. Iroh is standing right behind him. RIGHT BEHIND HIM. Iroh has been there the whole time. Iroh does not want Zhao to kill the fish.

Iroh says: "Whatever you do to that spirit, I'll unleash on you tenfold!"

Remember how in the original, where that was like a big, shocking moment that he got angry? And how Zhao immediately let go of the fish, only to then have his anger get the best of him? How Zhao attacked the spirit by surprise?

Well, here it's a little different. For one, like I already said, Iroh doesn't come in suddenly, he sort of gets bullied into looking for the spirit by Zhao. Then he looks for the spirit, and after Zhao finds it, then he decides that he really has a problem with killing the spirit. He did protest before, but then he kind of just caved and helped anyways.

He threatens Zhao, and Zhao just... brushes him off. "Spare me your empty threats." Then the firebenders next to Iroh sort of... glower at him menacingly, and Iroh looks worried.

Zhao offers Iroh a place at his side once he becomes Fire Lord, which, uh? Okay. Fine. I actually don't have a problem with Zhao wanting to be Fire Lord, that seems to be entirely on brand for him, but everything he does to get to that goal is just stupid.

Aang arrives, they talk, Aang says "I don't matter", and then Iroh, who has sidled past the Glowering Firebenders Who Do Nothing Else, shoots the fish out of Zhao's hands. And then, as Zhao is on the ground, reaching for the fish with his special stabbing implement, Iroh forgets that he can shoot fire out of his hands, and lets Zhao stab the fish.

AND THEN Iroh, who literally stood by two different times and let Zhao kill the fish, decides to kick everyone's ass. And the Glowering Firebenders do nothing. One of them just stands in the background. Iroh doesn't even attack that guy.

In the original, Iroh immediately leaps into action after Zhao kills the spirit by means of surprise attack, takes out Zhao's guards in about a second, and Zhao escapes.

Here, he doesn't do anything at first except help Zhao find the spirit he doesn't want to see killed, then back down, then do something, then back down again, then do something again, then forget that he can do anything, and then he does something again.

It's just... so dumb. (So dumb it's brilliant!) No! It's just dumb!

And then, fifteen minutes later, after Zuko has dueled Zhao, Iroh kills him. Iroh just barbecues him by striking him from behind. Gee, Iroh, if you were willing to do that, why not just do it when Zhao was holding the fish?

Dishonorable mentions:

The fact that all of the actors fit their characters so well and have some great moments, but the show just doesn't support their performances at all. I feel so bad for all of them, being robbed of a chance to shine by some truly awful writing, editing and direction

The Ocean Spirit making Godzilla noises

June flirting with Iroh (didn't they say that they wanted to remove iffy stuff from the original? Well, that whole thing was iffy in the original. Why didn't you cut it entirely?)

Zuko doing the jazz hands to charge an attack

All the clunky and unnecessary exposition (for example: after Aang turns into the Ocean Spirit, Yue immediately turns to Sokka and narrates that Aang has turned into the Ocean Spirit, for almost 30 seconds)

The fact that Aang can only communicate with each Avatar at their shrines

The Ice Moon

The Cabbage Man literally turning to shout his line to the heavens while fire rages around him

The Secret Tunnel song being shoehorned in for no reason

Iroh's entire backstory being shoehorned in for no reason

Ozai being a caring dad actually

Zuko being shocked that Ozai prefers Azula

Gran Gran's speech

The fact that they showed Gyatso being killed by Sozin (literally nobody needed a big action scene, because that's what it was, predicated entirely on the genocide of the Air Nomads)

And finally, the fact that Sokka and Yue's reason for going to the Spirit Oasis is that Momo was fatally injured.

[kxxkiecxre]

╰┈➤ Friend - Zone | Kim Taehyung.

✎PAIRING: Kim Taehyung x Fem! Reader

✎SUMMARY: he’s got money to spend, and you’re right there. Sitting all pretty for him.

✎WARNINGS: unprotected penetrative sex(wrap it before you tap it!), dom!tae, sub!reader, oral (f&M receiving), fWB,overstimulation, titty licking because he’s obsessed with her breasts, spoiled reader, unintentional sugar daddy tae.

Unedited as I was falling asleep while writing this lol

He’s so hot, and he knows it. That fucker knows exactly what he does to you, because there’s absolutely no reason for him to be sitting across you looking into your eyes with heavy lids, clearly sexually frustrated. You’re not sure why though, was it the skimpy little silky red dress? Or was it the black lace adorning the hems of it, laying perfectly against your chest? Perhaps it was your wavy dark hair? No, could it be your siren gaze? Or maybe it was the way your foot left your black louboutin, dragging itself up his leg and resting in between his thighs. Glancing down, he could see the diamond glazed fish nets, and fuck, did it drive him absolutely crazy.

You were evil for this. Licking your pretty peachy lips, caramel skin glistening under the low lighting of the fancy restaurant your friends decided on. But he wasn’t any better, sitting across you in his all black slacks. Black button up, sleeves rolled up to show off his gold Rolex perhaps? First few buttons undone, revealing his chest. He was dressed black head to toe aside from that damned stupid watch. Fuck.

Smirking as secretly at him as you can, you sucked onto the straw of your cocktail, enjoying the slight burn of the drink. He swallowed, licking his bottom lip as he pocked his cheek with his tongue. His hand, the one with the damned watch, disappeared under the table, fingers gently skimming your clothed skin. Earning an unexpected gasp of you.

“Everything okay?” Jungkook leaned over to you, concern prominent in his voice.

“Everything is perfect.”

Brows furrowing for a second, he shrugged, turning back to the rest of the group as taehyung continued to gaze at you confidently, challenging you in a sense as his long finger hooked into one of the holes of your fishnets, bare finger on your hot skin. What an incredibly hot asshole.

Blinking gently, you smirked brazenly.

“Kook? Would you mind taking me home, I’ve had a few drinks I really wouldn’t want to risk going out anywhere by myself.” You called out to Jungkook, eyes never daring to leave taehyungs darkened ones.

“Of course-“

“That’s okay kook, I’ll bring her home since I’m going anyway.”

Once again Jungkooks brows furrowed cutely, and you felt bad for the poor boy, “are you okay with that Y/N?”.

“Yes kookie, I’ll be fine.” You smiled at him sweetly. Getting up out of your seat as taehyungs hand laid on the small of your back, urging you to walk forward.

You couldn’t help it. Being a tease like this was only the result of his own actions. Him flirting with that overly beautiful waitress, and you getting jealous. It didn’t make sense, because to everyone else, the pair of you were just best friends. And though it didn’t actually give you any certain kind of dibs, he was fucking you on a down low. Every day, every night, every morning. It’s not like he was yours to claim, or like you actually had the right of be jealous, because he wasn’t anything more than that. Sex.

Sure he was your best friend, but you can’t claim your best friend as your own. Unless of course, you’re in a relationship on the low-low. Sure friends with benefits is a thing, but it’s no real relationship. Just sex. It’s not like you don’t think Tae was relationship worthy, because he was. If anything he’s one of those guys you hear women dream of, but you? You were nothing but a girl who loved living in the moment, you loved skimpy clothes and loud music. You loved cold alcoholic drinks on a private jet, and enjoyed the luxury life.

Could you afford the luxury life by yourself? No. Could your best friend? Yes.

It’s not like you were using him, you never intended for him to spend his money on you. That’s the last thing you wanted. But somehow, you went from fucking, to cuddling, to being with each other twenty four seven, which essentially meant Taehyung got attached, meaning everywhere tae went, you had to follow. Private restaurant boots, expensive little dresses, a whole rack of louboutins. Handbags ranging from Chanel to Moncler. Pearls of all colours and sizes, gold watches, Swarovski’s finest cut diamond necklaces. Anything you laid your eyes on, taehyung bought it.

Matter of fact, this little dress your wearing, he bought it. A Vera wang creation you set your eyes on right after he fucked you in the backseat of his car in a parking lot. How classy.

Taehyung only wanted what’s best for you, as someone who means the world to him. As someone who he sees marrying in the future. God he loved you so much. He wasn’t sure wether that was reciprocated, though it didn’t necessarily matter so long as you were by his side. Friends with benefits or not. He didn’t care. You could have all his money, all his cars, everything you wanted. You had access to all of his cars, each day you could drive any one of them. You had the key to his house, some of your stuff in his closet. Basically very domestic, just not labelled.

Money was never a big thing for taehyung, he’s had enough of it to last a lifetime. Which meant he only needed someone to spend it other than himself, and then you came along, and he immediately knew his worth became yours. Every two weeks on the dot, he’d hand you his card, and have his driver bring you to your nail appointments. Every couple months he’d ask you if you wanted to do something new with your hair, and as of recently he went as far as to ask if you genuinely loved the little wooden cabin in the forest you saw on the internet, the very next day bringing you a confirmation letter of buying it in your name.

So that brings you here, hollowing your cheeks as you let him use your mouth however he pleased. It wasn’t that you felt like you had to do it, no. You wanted him to do it, you needed him to do it. You genuinely believed you wouldn’t survive it if he didn’t touch your body in some way. You loved having him use your body, and you loved him in general. It was a win-win situation.

“Fuck baby,” he grunted, pulling himself out of your mouth, “on the bed love spread your legs for me.”

Like the obedient girl you are, you laid on the bed, left in nothing but your Swarovski diamond clustered fishnets, legs wide open for him as he crawled up the bed menacingly. Staring at your clothed pussy hungrily, like a starved man. He could see the little wet patch against the material of your red thong and it drove him wild.

Taehyung was a man of patience for many things, but not in this case. His patience always seemed to be on the whim when it came to getting a taste of you, which is what lead him to ripping the expensive yet extremely fragile material to shreds. Exposing a large enough hole around your pussy. His finger hooked into the material of the thong, pulling it to the side.

Almost like he was making out, he sucked into each lip of your pussy with a mouthful of sugar. So sweet and gentle, absolutely devouring your pussy whole. His tongue ran laps up, from the bottom to the top. Flicking little motions upwards onto your clit as you began to sign, his tongue alternating between sucking and flicking, building a pace of movement, a rhythm. It was insane how fast he could get you breathless, hands desperately clutching onto the sheets of his bed.

His finger slipped inside your seeping hole, god you could feel yourself dripping down your ass, surely making a mess of his sheets. With his mouth suckling on your clit, tongue flicking your nub and finger pushing in and out of you, you were moaning like your life depended on it.

“Tae fuck,” your sighs were so sweet, so high pitched and breathy god he loved it.

His finger hooked inside you, picking up his pace as your hips began moving against his mouth, begging for your sweet, divine release, “shit please just fuck me tae.”

“Impatient hm?” He chuckled, kissing his way from your pussy to your throat, sucking sweet little spots of bruise here and there.

“Make me cum baby” you held his face in your hands, staring deeply in his dark eyes.

“Ah don’t do this to me beautiful” his forehead rested against yours, hand tugging on his hard cock.

Both of your eyes focused on his dick, the way it rubbed up and down your wet pussy, foreheads still pressed against each other and your hand still resting around the back of his head. Slowly, he pushed the tip in. Looking at your reaction as he bottomed out, eyes shutting tightly as you gasped, fingers tangling in his long locks. He swore he’s never seen a more beautiful and majestic creature like you. No human, anything, could ever amount to the beauty you hold for him. You were his everything.

He took his time with you, thrusting slowly in and out, building you up as you cling onto him, one of your legs rested against his waist, deepening the angle of his thrusts. He started building it up, going faster, his thrusts somehow reaching deeper each time he dragged out and back inside. He could see himself inside you, kissing your cervix each time he came back inside. It was amazing. Just how well your bodies connected.

A few more thrusts of his quick and ruthless thrusts and you were arching into him, moaning his name like a chant, nails dragging around his back as you came. He chased his high right after you, thrusts becoming sloppy as he finally let go. Face nuzzled in your neck as you ran your fingers through his hair. It was peaceful, serene.

“Wanna go on a cruise with me?” He asked, kissing your neck softly.

“Sure why not” you giggled as he started pecking your face all over.

“As my girlfriend” he followed up, your eyes widening, unsure if you heard him correctly.

“As your girlfriend?”

“Yes”

“Tae, are you messing with me?”

“No baby, I want to do everything with you… as my girlfriend. Wife. Whatever. I just want you to be mine.”

Smiling to yourself, you hold his face in your hands, staring deeply in his eyes, “of course baby, but pull out of me now we need to shower. We reek of sex.”

He smirks at you, pulling out and drawing a hiss from both of you from the overstimulation,

“I love shower sex.”

AN: y’all better help me figure out how to end Drabbles because I’m always lost lol.

No recreation, translation or copying of any form of my works is permitted!!

MASTERLIST

[ggukkiedae]

COOK WITH ME, YEAH? || ep.1 my ride or die, my other half

uploaded on january 15, 2024 to the bangtantv youtube channel and weverse. dialogue in italics are spoken in english

content warning: mentions tannies’ enlistments and separation anxiety (please tell me if i missed something)

miya: “hi everyone! welcome to my new series: cook with me, yeah?”

she started clapping, even cheering a little bit before reality hit her

she sighed and looked off camera

miya: “you know, you could cheer for me”

jungkook: “you said you’d do the intro before introducing me!”

she got the folded cloth from next to her on her kitchen counter and threw it towards the direction of the voice

there was a yelp, laughter, then cut back to a smiling yoonmi

miya: “i’m very open about my friends, and armys like to see that, so i decided to start this series and introduce some of my friends to you guys while cooking with them! while cooking, we’ll be answering first few set questions i’m always asked on weverse or instagram when i post with my friends, then a few questions more specific to us as friends that i found on twitter by lurking”

while she was talking, a few pictures of her with her various friends were shown on screen

she held up her phone when mentioning the set questions

she lifted a small fish bowl with slips of paper holding questions when mentioning the more specific ones

miya: “this friend, well, i’ve known him since i was eleven. nine? we use international age now… anyway!”

she trailed off a little before laughing and waving her hand

miya: “we met as preteens, now we’re in our twenties. i literally can’t imagine life without him, he became my ride or die, and, because of how we were raised, he practically became my big emo-punk-looking soft boy other half. the oppas think we could have been twins in another life”

there’s soft thumps sounding from off camera

she looks over and starts laughing

miya: “he’s cringing and punching a pillow right now. everyone, welcome the person i’m sure you are all missing by the time this releases, jungkookie oppa!”

jungkook jogs in in his pastel pink apron cheering for himself while yoonmi clapped for him

jungkook did a little slide then a spin before bowing

yoonmi laughed at him, shoving him to the side

jungkook shoves her back then the video cuts to them standing together relatively calmly

jungkook: “i brought you chardonnay. i thought it would pair well with carbonara”

miya: “this looks good!”

jungkook passed her a two bottles of chardonnay, which she gratefully accepted

she pulled up two wine glasses and poured them some

they clinked their glasses together and finished their first glasses then she refilled them, setting them to a corner of the counter

miya: “like kookie oppa said, we’re making carbonara. want to explain why?”

jungkook: “namjoon hyung. he always talked about enjoying the carbonara in italy. mimi and i were talking about it when she was conceptializing these videos, so we decided to try”

miya: “shall we start, oppa?”

jungkook: “let’s go!”

the video cut to a clip of her filling a pot with water

there’s a clip of jungkook cutting up a slab of guanciale into cubes

when did you meet and what were your first impressions of each other?

miya: “contrary to popular belief, kookie oppa was very straightforward and blunt with me”

jungkook: “why? we became friends because of me”

miya: “i know! but people think we didn’t start talking until like weeks later”

jungkook snorted and looked at her while she added oil and salt into the pot over a flame

she looked at him

then she poked him with one of the uncooked noodles, which he swatted away

he turned on the other side of the stove and placed a pan on it, waiting for it to heat up

jungkook: “you were the only girl in the boys classes at the time. i thought you would be a vocal, but namjoon hyung said you were a rapper, so i was surprised. then i heard your satoori and got curious to find another busan kid in the company”

miya: “and you went straight up to me when you entered the training room. i was a little scared of you, but not really? i just didn’t know what to expect”

she brought out eggs and a bowl of pecorino romano cheese

jungkook started frying the guanciale

what are your names for each other in your cellphones?

miya: “kookie oppa? i have him saved as ‘ride or die’ with, like, the praise hands emoji”

jungkook: “i have mimi as ‘princess crazy’ with a crown”

she gave him a look, and he just gave her a smile

there’s a close up shot of the guanciale frying and a clip of jungkook trying it

there’s a clip of yoonmi trying it, too

there’s then a clip of her cracking the last of the eggs into the cheese, adding pepper, then starting to whisk everything together

describe each other in one word

jungkook: “yoonmi is music”

miya: “what?”

jungkook: “you literally live and breathe music. you're in your studio all the time, you always look for music to add to your playlists, and it seems like everything you do is very musical. the way you move in general has a rhythm, and the way you speak has a melody"

miya: "... you're nice to me today"

jungkook: "so i deserve a nice answer"

he took the pan off the heat and took the bowl and whisk from her

he gave her an expectant look while whisking while she just thought while fixing the pasta into the now boiling water

miya: "i think you're excellence. everything you do, you do it very well and to the best of your abilities. when you find something you struggle with, you work your hardest to become good at it. you're practically excellence as a person"

they met eyes then cringed before laughing

jungkook exaggerated his aggression with whisking the contents of the bowl while yoonmi walked off to the side

the video cuts to them clinking glasses and drinking their glasses of wine, now just waiting for the pasta to cook

what’s your favorite memory together?

jungkook: "that's hard to answer, mimi"

miya: "true, we've been friends for so long and together almost daily, so there's way too much to choose from"

jungkook sipped at his wine again

jungkook: “maybe when we wrote ‘stay’? do you remember that?”

miya: "when we slept in my studio for like three days?"

jungkook: "we cried, made jokes, watched movies, didn't namjoon hyung physically drag us to eat food that wasn't instant ramen?”

they laughed at the memory

yoonmi lit up at a thought

miya: "oppa, vegas!"

jungkook: "oh yeah! you weren't legal in america yet, so you couldn't go to the ptd parties in the bars"

miya: "but you took me around vegas for food and to look at all the different light and water shows! it may sound boring, but we had a lot of fun there"

there's a clip of yoonmi gently stirring the pasta then of jungkook pouring more wine for them

how often do you two have sleepovers?

jungkook hummed while thinking

jungkook: “a lot, actually. i slept over at mimi's a lot for a while to help her take care of yoonseollie and the puppies back before she graduated. nowadays, we sleepover in each other's house just whenever we feel like it"

miya: "yeah, but we still see each other almost everyday even without the sleepovers. oppa, the pan?"

there's a closeup of jungkook placing the guanciale from the pan onto a spare plate

what was it like working on jungkook’s solo album together?

jungkook: "oh, yoonmi wrote ‘yes or no’ back in 2018, if you all know what was going on then"

he wiggled his eyebrows at the camera, making shove him to the side

he pulled her into a noogie while she squeaked in surprise and started to hit his arm

jungkook: "she was falling in love! this kid! look at her, falling in love so young!"

miya: "oppa, let go!"

jungkook: "i still remember the first time you admitted you might have been in love"

miya: "oppa!"

she stomped on his foot, making him let go

she was fixing her hair while he laughed at her

miya: “in all seriousness, oppa told me right away when he started pulling golden together that he wanted to use ‘yes or no’ and to have me feature on a track he’d promote, so i edited ‘yes or no’ just a bit then i listened to ‘seven’ to start writing my verse.”

jungkook: "it was comfortable, you know? a sense of familiarity. then i wanted to make a song for army, and mimi actually translates my thoughts best, so we wrote please don't change together in a music style similar to one we've been listening to a lot. you know songs used for dancehall?"

miya: "I've been listening to a lot of latin and afro beat music"

there's a clip of yoonmi tasting one of the noodles

and there's a clip of jungkook throwing one at her wall (it stuck)

she looked at him then threw a noodle at his face, which he ate

does bam play with yoonmi’s pets?

yoonmi transferred the noodles into the pan where the guanciale was cooked, turning the heat on high

jungkook stepped back and gave a loud whistle

there were pitter patters of feet running, and you see bam and dipper running in

jungkook bent to pet the dogs

jungkook: "you don't see her, but nala is here, too"

miya: "our pets are siblings. they all go to stay with my brother or kookie oppa's brother when both of us are busy, so they bond a lot"

she turned the stove off then opened the freezer jungkook looked up and pointed at something yoonmi pulled out a small tray with frozen treats

they gave them to the dogs who all scattered away after receiving treats then they washed their hands

miya: "this next part needs extreme focus, so excuse us for being silent for a moment"

jungkook: "mimi, i think the pan is the right temperature"

there's a clip of jungkook pouring the sauce and adding the guanciale into the noodles while yoonmi mixed it

jungkook placed the bowl down

yoonmi looked at him, so he got a bit of the pasta water and added it into the pan

there's a close up of the pasta being stirred

there's a closeup of jungkook plating the pasta

the video cuts to them sitting on the floor in front of her couch, their plates of pasta and glasses of wine in front of them

but jimin is now with them

miya: “jiminie oppa is here!"

the three of them cheer while jimin waves

he puts his arm around the two maknaes, bringing them closer to him and rubbing his head with theirs

jimin: “my busan babies! my cute babies made me pasta”

jungkook: "hyung, let go!"

they're all speaking through laughs

yoonmi speaks up

miya: "jimin oppa is here to try our pasta, and he has the special honor of reading us the last question! but first, have a bite, oppa”

yoonmi handed him the third plate while jungkook handed him a fork

jimin twirls a bit of the pasta onto the fork, laughing a little about how awkward it was to do that while the two were watching him

he takes a bite, tilting his head before humming in approval

he swallowed and looked at the two

jimin: "this tastes really good, babies! i think it's a 100 out of 100!"

she grinned while jungkook handed him his glass of wine

yoonmi held up the fishbowl of questions for him while placing the plate back on the table

miya: "now the last question, oppa"

jimin stuck his hand into the bowl, swirling it around while giggling at the two maknaes

he pulls one out and reads it to himself first before chuckling and taking another sip of wine

jimin: "I'm curious, too, actually"

jungkook: "then read the question, hyung”

how does it feel knowing jungkook is about to enlist?

yoonmi visibly tensed while jungkook’s head snapped to the side to look at her

jimin put his free arm around her and rubbed her arm comfortingly

miya: “i’ve been seeing my therapist about this, and she said it would be a challenge for me. the oppas and i always talk and hangout, especially me and ggukoo oppa who talk to each other daily and see each other almost everyday. i’m honestly scared, but i’ll have to push through. i can do it. i think i can”

jungkook: “i’m honestly very sad about this. mimi and i are used to going to each other for almost any and everything we can think of, and we have gotten used to each other a lot. while i am worried about her given her separation anxiety, i’m also a little scared for myself, especially for the five weeks of basic training where i won't be able to talk to or be updated with her at all”

jimin: “don’t worry, babies. i have people to watch over our princess, i’ll be watching over jungkookie, and this will all pass by very quickly. just you wait”

jimin leaned his head on jungkook’s then turned to kiss the top of yoonmi’s head

the video cuts to them with finished plates and empty glasses, all smiling towards the camera

yoonmi, now seated in the middle, spoke

miya: “that brings an end to this first episode of cook with me, yeah? thank you to kookie oppa and jiminie oppa for coming to spend the day with me! if any one of you would like to try what we made at home, the recipe will be in the description! see you next episode!”

the three of them wave to the camera, then the video cuts to black

after a few seconds, jimin appears sitting in what looks like yoonmi’s home office with a question along the bottom of the screen

what do you think of miya and jungkook’s friendship?

jimin: “it’s a treasure. you don’t see friendships like theirs often where they’re raised together by the same group of people while experiencing the same things. our maknae and makdungie developed a connection over the years that us hyungs and oppas ourselves can’t understand, but they understand each other, they have fun, they keep each other in line, and they do love each other. i’m pretty sure they were twins in another life. but, yes, their friendship is like a rare treasure”

-end-

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[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Bubble Ghost

Debut: Bubble Ghost

This is Bubble Ghost from Bubble Ghost! Would you like to see the Bubble from Bubble Ghost? It is a very important part of the game. I think it deserves our attention.

Name: Bubble

Debut: Bubble Ghost

There we go! A bubble. Bubbles are really incredible things, aren't they? They're so beautiful, so fun to watch! It is IDIOTIC to act like this miracle of science is somehow "for children". If you're ever blowing bubbles and someone tries to shame you for it, just tell them you're sorry they lost the ability to find joy in the many places it's scattered around our world. The look on their face will be awesome!

Bubble Ghost is all about the delight of playing with bubbles. You're never too old for bubbles, and you're also never too dead! This ghost haunts a Kooky Castle full of Crazy Contraptions and has fun playing with bubbles. Since he is a ghost, this is considered Haunting the castle, which is so silly. I guess it makes sense, but the concept of "haunting" is just so silly! "You might not want to use the bathroom for a while, I just haunted it!" (ghost poop)

Bubble Ghost is a very cute ghost, with his winning smile and especially his strange antenna-like thing! That is the kind of appendage I would expect from a non-human ghost. If human ghosts are so widely accepted to get so abstracted from their living forms, why not anything else? Maybe Bubble Ghost IS the ghost of an angler fish. Awesome

This ghost is intangible, but his breath is NOT, which raises many questions. Is this just a case of ghosts being able to create supernatural wind? I don't think so, because his face gets red if he blows too much. This is real breath! So what's a ghost doing breathing? What's the use? I'll tell you the use. It is to direct the bubble through the halls of the castle! This is a very unique game where you control the ghost, but the bubble is what needs to get to the goal of each screen, and of course, as a bubble, it is very fragile. I like it! I am okay at it.

The Game Boy version goes with the cutesy, barebones story of "the ghost plays with a bubble for fun", but most other versions have Lore! This little creature of a ghost is the spirit of inventor Heinrich von Schtinker, who according to one version died from testing his electric bubble pipe in the bathtub. Whatever the case he is Dead, but he sure likes blowing a bubble around! One version even says that the bubble IS Heinie's soul. So in that case... what is a ghost? Is the ghost the real bubble?

Look at THIS cover art. Wowzers. That's not the kind of ghost for me! This looks like a cheeky modern Bubble Ghost trying to do a Jojo parody! The bubble even looks more like a Steel Ball! I don't think I would purchase this game with this as my first impression, and I think this ghost would pummel me into paste for not buying it.

THIS, though? This is impeccable. You see the Bubble Ghost text. You see a bubble reflecting a ghost. Yes, this is what you expect from the title. But how? It stirs intrigue! And despite the darkness and the spooky font, the ghost's playful expression reassures you that this is a silly fun time to be had. But really, the words Bubble and Ghost are all I need to be interested! I like those things! It's that simple!

[yuriskies]

Fishing Yuri vs Reproductive Fascism

Issui Ogawa's Twinstar Cyclone Runaway novel series caught my attention the moment I learned about it. A gay marriage allegory in a weird sci-fi setting? Sign me right the fuck up. I've always found explicitly political sci-fi interesting, and well, Ogawa is not exactly a small name in Japanese sci-fi. However, a Japanese hard sci-fi novel is not going to have an easy time finding a good translation to English, much less a fanbase. So I was really excited to see that it was getting a manga adaptation, and from what it has adapted so far (~half of the first of three novels in an ongoing series), it's really living up to my feeling of hype.

There is a general setting summary after the break, and then a section where I talk a bit about the most recent chapter (8), and how it really makes a cogent argument extractive economic systems are reinforced by patriarchal norms.

The plot centers around Terra Intercontinental Endeavor, a woman who has inherited her family's fishing boat. The fishing boat requires two people to operate, a job which is performed by straight couples as a form of marriage contract. The use of married couples is understandable, given that the fishing boat transformable rocket plane that descends from orbit to operate in the skies of a gas giant, an operating environment which requires almost preternatural communication skills between the pilot and the person transforming the ship. The fish that swim around in the gas giant's skies are special: they're made of a kind of clay that can be molded by thought. The catch forms the backbone of the planetary economy; otherwise, the planetary system is so resource-starved that humanity cannot sustain itself without something to offer through galactic trade networks. Terra is highly gifted at producing complex transformations of the ship, but cannot communicate well with the male pilots she is interviewing for marriage. Part of this is because her way of describing things is a little kooky, but the majority is because the patriarchal culture she lives in has produced a lot of condescending, sexist guys who Obviously Know Better.

Fresh off a round of failed marriage interviews, Terra is desperate to find anyone who can pilot the boat. In steps a mysterious girl named Diode, who proves herself to be an exceptionally talented pilot whose skills mesh well with Terra's. So far, the story has alternated between Terra's experiences within the stifling cultural life of her home, and the moments of dizzying freedom and connection that Terra and Diode find when they're out fishing.

(Spoilers from here on out, so stop here if you would prefer to read more on your own. )

As far as the broader world of Twinstar Cyclone Runaway is concerned, the first seven manga chapters have largely focused on how badly Terra fits in with the surrounding culture. She has a reputation around the port, mostly as a person who creates absurdly complicated fishing gear and makes up weird stories. Her aunt and uncle both want to see her happily married so she can fulfill her dream of fishing, but tend to push their preferences onto her. She works as a video distributor in the clan's dilapidated cultural archives, and appears to be one of the few people interested in the world of her clan's space station. In part, this is due to the conservatism of the culture - most people are strictly utilitarian and seem happy to accept the world as it is. There's also sexism. Woo boy is there sexism.

The first few chapters alternate between life on the station, where Terra is exposed to a constant stream of sexism. The chapters dealing with station culture are almost an exercise in masochism, but provided the set dressing for a chapter which does a really decent job at describing the organizing thought processes behind anti-LGBTQ lawmaking. In it, Terra and Diode's activities have drawn the attention of the authorities, who are none too happy that they're fishing together (and effectively presenting themselves as common law wives in the process).

They're both summoned to the clan council, where the clan chief immediately begins lecturing Terra (and belittling her with backhanded complements) before ordering her to surrender her family's fishing boat to someone else. During his lecture, he highlights the 'freedom' enjoyed by their clan compared to the even more stifling culture of the clan Diode hails from. He attributes that freedom to the strong sense of "culture and tradition" of the clan, and the work of those with "superior bloodlines" who support and perpetuate it by passing that sense of identity on to the next generation while countering the clan's slowly shrinking population. Under this logic, allowing Terra to participate in a same-sex marriage is considered tantamount to enabling a cultural collapse.

It is, from just about any perspective, a fascist perspective on gender roles. Women are valued not for their ability to contribute to the culture but for their service as reproductive cogs in the economic machine. Culture and tradition are interpreted as something transmitted through blood, not community. Terra's work in maintaining the cultural archives are viewed as useless make-work, as to the leadership, a woman who does not reproduce is preventing the transmission of culture. The stability and economic productivity of the clan is the organizing principle of society, highlighted by the fact that the roles of clan chief (political leader) and head fisherman (economic leader) are held by the same person. In this framework, the backbone of society is understood to be its captains of industry, those working in economically-prestigious jobs, and their social role is to maintain the economic prestige and exclusivity of the fishing class.

The chapter ends with Diode (having initially been begrudgingly convinced to allow Terra to do the talking) exploding at how the clan chief has been talking down to the both of them. She points out the hollowness of the underlying rhetoric - although it portrays culture as something shaped by struggle and ability to assert one's will, it systematically denies most people from the attempt. While pointing this out, she also mocks the clan chief's skills, clearly relying on the offense to his masculinity to provide the opening for herself and Terra to prove themselves. While the gambit works, the clan chief is clearly setting the terms of a challenge to make them prove themselves exceptional, a task which carries a high likelihood of death.

By the way, the art does a lot of the heavy lifting here. Despite Ahiru Tanaka's slightly cartoony style, he is incredibly skilled at getting the point across through composition. Terra's workplace in the cultural archives is dingy, cramped, and literally disintegrating, and Tanaka's line work reflects this - dense, imprecise, and messy. It really sells the apparent lack of maintenance since the archives were constructed. By contrast, the clan council's chambers is airy, bright, and characterized by cleaner, more precise line work. The difference is night and day, and I think it really helps sell the Endeavor Clan's underlying thinking of exactly where "culture and tradition" are transmitted.

Anyway, I just had to gush a little bit about this chapter, in what is quickly becoming one of the manga releases I most anticipate reading every month.

[jikookficsdiarry]

HELLO LOVES!! I'm here to express my deepest love for episode 4. Finally, it has been a long week, and the wait for episode 5 is almost over :)

OFCOURSE I'm gonna begin with

너는 나, 나는 너 🥹

Jikook in the swimming pool, enjoying their time together, getting on with their daily antics was the best thing ever!! The way they played rock, paper scissors under water🥹 CUTIES my goofballs for real!! Also, yes I have the same question as you, why did Kook have to remind minie that the glass was see through?? What kind of mischief was jiminie upto?!!!

Also, umm hello?! My 2015 baby army self would have never survived this. Please I think BT21 took hiatus too seriously. Damn, I used to lose my mind over foreheads...we have come a long way lads.

Also, the ppeuri after the whole ramyeon conversation?! Hello?! Like what was going on?! The way I screamed into my pillow. BYE.

BUBBAS🥹🤍 (the yawning in sync, they are the embodiment of you are me, i am you)...also I felt so bad for tae cause his neck hurt after head banging...I really hope his neck felt so much better when kookie gave him the message🥺

You wanna know the exact moment I said "what in the AO3?"

This right here. I combusted. I smiled, then I teared up and I replayed it 10 times to know if this wasn't a fever dream. It wasn't. It was reality and then I teared up some more. Happy tears I promise🥹🤍

When I first saw this thought the sign was edited🤭 little did I know the universe was trying to give me sign instead.

All the food moments, apart from making me extremely hungry made me realise how much attention kookie pays to minie whilst he is eating. Not only in these episodes but every time kookies ensures jiminie has eaten well🥹 like idk how to explain but it tugs at my heart strings🥹🤍

Also, idk why tae bear didn't join them for snorkelling, but his smile when he looks at kookie and jiminie has my whole heart🥹🤍

I was so happy that my baby caught to fishes!! Look at that adorable boxy smile🥹 my whole heart...oh I miss tae. Okay sorry no more tears.

I usually don't point this out, but omds I could not hold back this time, the SIZE DIFFERENCE!! I know there are so many other moments, but something about kookies hand enveloping jiminie hands and jiminie holding onto kookies thumb....yeah, my heart is doing a triple axle as we speak.

To conclude, I really from the bottom of my heart enjoyed watching this episode. I was struggling health wise last week and this epsiode gave me the energy I needed. I also feel I was more relieved by the fact that Jiminie didn't feel sick anymore and wasn't hurt in any way. I was so happy to see vminkook giggling.🤍 And jikook being so happy in each other's presence. Their moments, the little things they do for each other, I see them🤍 I know there are so many theories and asks about so many moments not only in this episode. I'll reteriate, I am not going to respond to asks that are offensive or not OT7, and I am just trying to enjoy the show, please let me kindly do that🤍

Episode 5 has me already excited. Less than 24 hours!! LESSSGOO!!

Are you sure?! You truly are my serotonin🥹🤍

Thank you.

~ Nel🤍

Please drop a good review for AYS if you can🫶🏻

[bts-hyperfixation]

Outside of the Fox

Chapter 25 of 30

2350 words

Y/N longs for a new life when the one she’d been living comes to an abrupt stop. Without much thought to those she is leaving behind, the little fox packs a backpack and disappears. She stumbles across the shelter and makes an interim home for herself while she works out exactly what she wants from her second chance.

Last

Airports are weird places. That's the only thing you can conclude as you try to navigate your way through the crowd. They never looked this way in the films. 

You'd watched countless romcoms where people had just run freely all the way through the vast empty spaces. The reality is something much closer to one of the seven circles of hell.  There are people everywhere, some sitting in seats, others on the floor, many just walking around getting in the way. It seems like a truly lawless environment, with many of society's rules abandoned in favour of self-preservation. 

Poor Kookie looks like he is about to faint. The youngest member was hanging from Namjoon's back, having decided a piggyback would be the easiest way for him to get through this. Jimin checked in with him regularly, pulling faces and making jokes to try and keep him distracted. You can't help but feel overwhelmed by the atmosphere yourself. 

Hoseok holds tightly onto your hand as he bobs and weaves through the crowd following after Jin and Taehyung as they lead your group to your departure gate. You had been promised that the gate would be much calmer than the main areas as they dragged you through as quickly as possible. 

And they were right. With more than an hour to go until your flight, there were only a few other passengers milling around so you were all able to grab seats together in the corner. Jungkook physically decompresses as Namjoon sets him on the ground, although his eyes stay wide and vigilant as he appraises his surroundings. Yoongi pulls out his switch from his backpack and hands it across to Jungkook before cuddling into the chair next to him, looking about ready to take a nap. 

You contemplate sitting on Jungkook's other side but Taehyung pulls you to him instead. 

"Let me take you shopping in duty-free,"  He says

"I think Jungkook used your card to buy enough stuff this week." You point out.

"But I didn't buy you those things, not really." He pouts. 

You roll your eyes and he takes this as an acceptance, linking his arm through yours and taking you off back in the direction of the crowds.

You peruse through the make-up sections, taking the brightest blushes you can find and dotting them onto his cheeks leaving him a mismatched mosaic of pinks. In return, he swatches random eyeshadows and wipes them onto your forearms. The attendants give you both dirty looks when neither of you actually select any products to buy, but none of them seem brave enough to actually interject.

Eventually, Tae takes pity on them, picking up some expensive skincare and makeup wipes to purchase. He ensures he has enough face masks and steam masks for the entire group and convinces you to pick out something extra for yourself. Even though you want to protest, you settle on a cute headband to make him happy. 

He takes the bag of goodies from the saleswoman once he has paid and fishes the headband out in order to place it in your hair. His fingers brush tenderly through your hair as he places the little trinket carefully above your ear. His eyes lock with yours and he leans in like he is going to kiss you, but as his eyes close you can't help but giggle. 

"I'm trying to charm you and you are giggling at me?" He asks, mock offended.

"Sorry... I couldn't help it, that patchy blush looks even worse close up." You shrug. 

He swipes at his face with the back of his hand, succeeding only in making it much worse as the colours intermingle. 

"Well if you closed your eyes to kiss like a normal person you wouldn't have seen it." He grumbles.

"Well, if I'd known you were about to kiss me maybe I would've." You say

"Well then, close your eyes," He tries again reaching out to tuck your hair as he had before. 

Unfortunately, this time he is cut off by the tannoy system calling out for your boarding numbers. You take his hand in yours and hurry away from the store back to where you left the others. 

"I'm never going to get my kiss." He pouts.

________

The others have gathered all the hand luggage and are waiting for you when you arrive. Turns out Taehyung had taken all of the tickets with you so they couldn't board. However, it seems to be by design when Taehyung reveals that you are all sitting in first class. The eight of you fill-up the double centre isle 

Namjoon sits at the back, harrumphing to himself about how Taehyung has spent far too much money on this trip. Yoongi sits next to him to try and shut him up (He ends up just raising the centre wall to give himself some peace and quiet). 

Hoseok parks himself in front of Yoongi, often kneeling up on his seat to talk with Yoongi over the top. Taehyung sits next to him, mostly because Jimin insisted he needed to spend the flight with Jungkook but also because they wanted to watch the same movies and they could talk about them. 

And so you sat with Jin, working out nicely in your favour as both of you really just wanted to nap. You settled in quickly for the long flight, unravelling the provided blanket and draping it over your and Jin's laps. When Taehyung had suggested going to the beach you had thought he meant somewhere nearby, not a long-haul flight to the other hemisphere.

"You realise they give each of us our own blankets right?" He points out. 

"Yeah, but this thing is massive." You say shaking the fabric. "Unless you want to put up the divider?" 

"No, no this is fine. Once we've taken off the stewardesses can turn our two seats into one bed if you like, give us a more comfortable space?" He suggests.

It's clear he doesn't mean anything by it, but a blush creeps up your cheeks anyway. You don't get a chance to reply before the stewards are handing you a mimosa each and directing your attention towards a safety briefing. You watch intently as they go through the motions of showing you emergency procedures. 

The aeroplane roars to life around you as it comes to the end of the taxi, you can hear the turbines wiring and your heart speeds up at the same pace. Jungkook whimpers behind you and Jimin tries to whisper words of encouragement to the man. You want to turn around and help but the seat backs are too high and you fear your face looks too concerned to provide any comfort anyway. 

Jin glances over at you and takes in the way your knuckles are turning white from clasping onto the arms of your chair. He places his hand on top of yours, curling his fingers underneath your palm so you can hold onto him instead. He offers you a reassuring smile and you try to reciprocate. 

"First flight?" He asks.

You nod in response, unable to speak as you feel the wheels lift from the floor.

"This is the worst part, after this you can barely feel that you're moving," He assures you. "Here, take this, it'll stop your ears from popping." 

He fishes out a packet of gum and offers you a piece then takes one himself. 

Eventually, the plane levels out as he promises and it is smooth sailing for a while. The stewardesses are quick to deliver meals to each of you and even quicker to take them away when you've finished. You are lying down in a nicely sized bed within an hour of take-off ready to sleep through as much of the flight as possible. Jin has himself propped up a little to read his book as you snuggle down and close your eyes. 

"Sleep well Y/N," He says as you drift off. 

You are rudely awoken a few hours later to the violent shaking of the plane. You try to shoot up straight into a sitting position but find yourself restricted by an arm across your waist. Jin pulls you closer to him.

"Don't panic, it's just turbulence," He whispers into your ear sleepily "It'll be over in a couple of minutes."

"Are you sure?" You ask.

"Of course I'm sure."

The plane dips dramatically and you find yourself clinging to Jin. He folds both arms around you and holds you as close as he can. Your stomach flips with each judder of the plane around you but Jin's arms remain firmly in place and his lips press to your forehead as he whispers nonsense to you as a distraction. 

He is right of course, the turbulence is over as quickly as it began and the Pilots voice sounds over the P.A

"Sorry about that folks, it looks like we could be in for a few bumpy rides throughout the journey as we hit some particularly rough patches of weather. We should be over the worst of it for now though so please relax and we will let you know if we expect any further issues throughout the flight." 

You lean back and look up at Jin finding his face mere centimetres from your own.

"Are you okay?" He asks,

"I think so."

"I'm glad, but know that you can cling to me any time turbulence or not," He winks.

"Good to know." You swallow thickly. 

He holds you close for a moment longer and then releases you back to your side of the bed. You sit up and peer over the back of your chair to check on the others. Namjoon is standing up looking over everyone in the same way you are.  Yoongi is watching him carefully. Taehyung and Hobi don't seem to have even paused their movies. And most surprisingly Jungkook doesn't seem to have even stirred as he holds Jimin close in their own little bed.

Namjoon catches your eye and you reassure him you are okay. He nods and settles back into his own chair and picks his book up where he left off. You lie back down and turn onto your side looking at Jin, his eyes already reclosed as he drifts off once more. You realise as your eyes drift towards the plumpness of his lips that your mind is drifting towards how they might feel against your skin. 

It's been such a long time since you've been intimate with anyone and the kisses you'd been going a little stir-crazy with impure thoughts of late, so who could blame you for looking at any of the attractive men around you? Although some might call you greedy for staring at the only one not actively openly courting you.

"Can I help you?" He asks cracking one eye open when he feels your gaze.

"I was wondering..." He opens both eyes and waits for you to ask what's on your mind.

"I was wondering if you planned on pursuing a relationship with more than just Namjoon within the group." 

He smiles in a way that suggests he knows what you are getting at but the answer he gives doesn't reflect that.

"Well I think it's obvious I have my eye on Kookie, or should I say he has his eye on me."

"Is that all?" You ask.

You move a little bit closer to him, hoping to get a much more pleasing answer.

"Well... I suppose I quite enjoy looking at Hoseok, and Taehyung is so charming. And I guess you aren't terrible to spend time with." He teases.

A hand reaches up to cup your cheek and he leans in towards you. 

"Is this what you wanted," His breath ghosts against your lips.

 Then the minuscule gap is closed. His kisses are lazy, although that could be the lingering edge of sleep. He sucks your lower lip between his, nibbling a little before releasing it and kissing you properly again. He repeats this over again until your lips feel bruised. 

"That is exactly what I wanted." You say as he finally pulls away.

"Well, now do you want more? Because I think I want more." 

He leans across you and presses a button you hadn't seen before. It raises a barrier between you and the aisle, just high enough for those passing not to look in and lights a do not disturb sign above you. He then presses the same control on his own side. 

"Well that doesn't look at all suspicious to the outside," You comment.

"They'll just think we are sleeping,"

He doesn't give you a chance to reconsider before he starts mouthing at your neck, his body hovering over yours as bites tiny little bruises into your delicate skin. You place your hands on his shoulders feeling the way his muscles tense through his thin T-shirt. He rolls his hips against your side, his sweatpants seeming even thinner than the shirt, leaving very little to the imagination. 

His lips find their way back to yours and your mind goes completely blank. One of his hands lifts the bottom of your shirt and begins to explore the bare expanse of skin until he reaches just underneath your breast. He cups your bare chest, his thumb running gently over your nipple making you shiver. You whine against his touch. 

"If you can't be quiet we can't go any further." He chuckles.

"We probably shouldn't get any further than this anyway..." You point out.

"You're right, I haven't even gotten much further than this with Joonie yet... But this just feels so nice," He says, making a point of flicking your nipple with his thumb again. 

"Maybe we should go back to sleeping,"

"If that's what you really want," He shrugs. "But I'm not removing my hand." 

"I'm not asking you to." 

He smiles contently and settles back onto his pillow, you wriggle in close and true to his word, and his hand remains firmly under your shirt for the remainder of the sleeping portion of the flight.

Next

Masterlist

Send me asks - doesn’t have to be fic related. Can be smutty, thirsty, fluffy, angsty, whatever you’re feeling regarding BTS. Can be literally anything doesn’t have to be BTS

[sickiesope]

Hello may I please request seasick Jungkook with caretaker Taehyung

Here's a little drabble on seasick Kookie! :) (Sorry it's a bit short)

Sea sickness

Sickie: Jungkook

Caretaker: Taehyung

TW: emeto

Jungkook doesn't get motion sickness often. In fact, he gets sick the least in the group. So when they spontaneously go on a boat ride it caught everyone by surprise.

As they go farther out to sea, the water becomes a little rougher. It's nothing too crazy but the boat is noticeably moving more. Taehyung took his medication beforehand so he doesn't get motion sickness and he's feeling okay so far. But then he sees Jungkook who looks like he's having a hard time.

Jungkook finds himself getting nauseas. Looking down at the water, his tummy is starting to feel weird. He tries to look away and focus on something else but can't escape the feeling. His stomach twists and turns as the boat goes up and down. Jungkook holds onto his middle making a dissatisfied face. He's getting a headache and his ears are ringing with his upset tummy.

He barely hears Namjoon say "uh oh, guys I think Kookie's getting seasick."

"No-no, that can't be right" Jungkook blurts out. He squelches and gasps when his stomach does a flip. Jungkook leans over the rail and throws up into the water below.

"Oh no, Kookie!" Taehyung rushes over to him. Jungkook is so dizzy with nausea he's having trouble balancing. Taehyung helps support him as he heaves and bends forward, upchucking more.

The water looks worse now with bits of his stomach contents floating in it. Jungkook gets queasy again at the sight.

Taehyung grimaces and turns his focus on reassuring the youngest. "Awwh it's okay Kookie, don't worry it'll pass." Taehyung knows exactly how lousy motion sickness feels. "We need to get him back on land."

Jungkook wishes he didn't eat so much before going. His stomach still has jajangmyeon churning around inside, wanting to get out. He leans over the rail again and gags up another round.

"Oh my god I can't stand this feeling!" Jungkook whines.

"Don't worry, we're turning around Kook" Jin says.

"I'm sorry guys, I don't know how that happened" Jungkook wipes his mouth and sighs. He feels bad for cutting their trip short.

"It's okay Kook, you didn't know" Taehyung pats his shoulder. "I mean, none of us would have predicted that."

"I can't believe I threw up all that jajangmyeon."

"Awh, dont worry about it Kookie. And well, now the fish can enjoy it!" Jin jokes.

They all chuckle at that.

[shrimp-buffet]

Willow and Angelo Headcannons!!

They won the vote, so here they are (Headcannons after the cut kinda)

Before I get to the character headcannons, I want to use my little pre-ramble section to share my headcannon about the Swamp of Love itself:

The Swamp of Love was a pretty normal Tunnel of Love attraction with at the park at first. But in whatever event that caused Cordelius to get trapped in the shadow realm, swamp water from the shadow realm got into the Tunnel’s pipes and flooded the attraction with its toxic waters. The amount of water that came pouring in extended it from just a small attraction to whole small section. While that was kept secret, it caused the section to close, seemingly forever. but one day, years later, it mysteriously opened up again with Willow as its new host.

I like to think that this is why all the two of them have mind manipulation based abilities, since the Shadow Realm seems to affect peoples mind. But now, onto the characters!

Willow based, Angelo based, both

•Willow was actually just some kinda of swamp animal before the prolonged exposure to the now toxic waters mutated her. Most likely a piranha. (I could see frog due to the tadpoles, but she looks more like a fish and I think piranha would be cool tbh)

•Angelo used to work at the attraction before it flooded. He got trapped during the initial flood and just kinda stuck around not knowing how to get out due to how big the swamp was.

•The toxic swamp waters messed the two’s minds a bit, but due to them not being full-on in the shadow realm it really only made them a bit more kooky and make them lose a bit of their impulse control. Hence why they’re so willing to mess with people in cruel ways. Basically they were always kinda like that, but they now just act on it more freely and harshly.

•Angelo used to and continues to take care of any of the little critters inside the swamp. Especially the fish.

•Willow was one of the fish that Angelo took care of! She was a sort of favorite of his and would be fed bits of his lunch on occasion.

•Angelo doesn’t realize that Willow was the fish he cared for, and Willow doesn’t realize that he doesn’t know that. they just became instant friends and never thought to bring it up.

•Willow loves plants, especially flowers. But her favorites are carnivorous plants.

•The swamp somehow still gets signal, and Angelo uses it to watch stuff similar to like “The Bachelorette” and “Keeping up with the Kardashians”. He invites Willow to join it too and she also eats it up.

•Willow is a bit of a romantic, and on occasion her pranks involve using her mind control to make people act out ships (in a way similar to the famous catbug scene. A bit more wholesome but still messed up)

•Angelo by contrast hates romance and thinks that “fairytale love” is stupid and fake, which is why his favorite pranks are causing relationships drama with his rumor bugs.

•Willow was the one to reopen the attraction after finally finding the end of the swamp and thus the rest of the park. She started advertising the attraction in order to lure in people for her and Angelo to prank.

•Angelo was always part mosquito, but he used to hide it with his outfits and hair and whatnot. The only actual parts that are mosquito though is just his wings and antenna, the eye and other parts are just a costume he made to embrace that part of him (I for the life of me can’t think of why he’s part mosquito, I just really like the thought of it.)

•Angelo’s wings buzz as he snores, making for one the most annoying sounds /hyp

•Willow sleeps in the swamp water.

•Angelo loves fireflies! Willow love fireflies too… to eat…

•They’ve messed up their sleep schedules so badly they’re practically nocturnal, waking up around the late afternoon and staying up all night.

•Practically goes without saying, but Angelo is gay. Also, Willow is a lesbian.

And yeah that’s all I got for now! A bit short but most of my thinking was related to the Swamp theory thingy rather than them as characters. If I get more ideas I’ll be happy to revisit them if you guys would like. :]

I really love making these posts now and I love how much you peeps enjoy them. As always, thank you for reading and let me know if you want more!

[hopusthechaosbun]

AU Time, AU Time!!

This AU has quite a few alterations! The main ones are included here, but there'll be more noticable ones that will come later!

- King Koopa has custody of his kids and isn't an asshole! (Wowie!)

- The Koopalings are MUUUUUCH younger and their age order is different

- SPECIES SHIFT, SPECIES SHIFT, SPECIES SHIFT-

- The Broodals live on Earth

- Peasley and Toadstool aren't avalailable for asks in this AU because their kingdoms don't like Koopas

And before I get to the juicy stuff, I'd like to provide inspo credit!!

Character designs:

@spontaneouskoopalingblog

@koopakidsandstuffs

Backstory:

@nrcy-d0-deactivated20231105

Okay, les gooooo!

Koopa Species & World Geography:

This map is a good reference point for where the countries are and the diversity of environments in this world. There are many species of Koopa depending on the environment:

Sky Koopas: High altitudes, in the sky (Sky Land, Cloud Kingdom, Mengeruine Clouds)

Sea Koopas: Warmer oceans / lakes (think near the islands, beaches, and Lake Kingdom)

Sand Koopas: Any desert (Layer Cake Desert, Sand Kingdom

Pirahna Koopas: Pipe Land

Snow Koopas: Very cold areas (Ice Land and Snow Kingdom)

Rock Koopas: Mountainous regions (Rock Candy Mines

Jungle Koopas: Soda Jungle

Grass Koopas: Standard, normal Koopas. Found just about everywhere

This guide also applies to the Koopa Kids, as they follow the Koopa species.

These species give each of the Koopalings (& Kids) quirks. (Except Cheatsy and Larry.)

Sky Koopas (Ludwig & Bully) have wings and hollow bones. As babies, Sky Koopas use a humming bird's wing pattern to fly.

Sea Koopas (Wendy & Kootie Pie) have gills and fins that make them EXCELLENT swimmers.

Jungle Koopas (Iggy) and climb and camoflauge, as well as easily tear through bark to eat tree bugs. (Iggy had to break a habbit of eating ants.)

Sand Koopas (Big Mouth and Roy) have many spikes to avoid being eaten. They also take on a reddish-brown colour to blend in with desert rocks when hunting. They have great digging ability, so they can chill under the sand during the scorching day. The varients of Sand Koopas have different tails, such as rattle snake (Big Mouth) and scorpion (Roy). Oh, also, they're venomous! And scorpion Sand Koopas can sting :3

Rock Koopas (Morton) are Desert Koopas evolved to climb mountains and fight others to become king of the hill to get the best (limited) vegetation. Their most notable feature is their horns.

Snow Koopas (Lemmy, Hip & Hop) are furry and get very weak in the heat. They also love fish. They tend to purr when happy, and often knead. Like cats, they have retractable claws.

Pirahna Koopas (Kooky) are known as the "freaks" of Koopas because they act the most feral. They bite, have cloroplast in their tail, have odd coloured eyes... The rumours have been that they're merges of Pirahna Plant and Koopa, but it was actually evolution slowly turning Pipeland Koopas into partial pirahna plants.

Koopalings

The koopalings JUST got adopted by Bowser. Their age order (oldest to youngest) goes Iggy, Morton, Lemmy, Ludwig, Roy, Wendy, Larry. (This is a reference.) They all have separate parents (except for Ludwig & Roy, as they're twins) that passed away in some horrific accident. (I love giving my characters trauma! <3) Their ages go as such:

Larry -> 4

Wendy -> 5

Roy & Ludwig -> 7

Lemmy -> 9

Morton -> 10

Iggy -> 12

They all take magic lessons from Kamek, and designed their wands to their liking. (Morton was TOLD to not make a hammer, but he didn't care.) Due to PTSD, they can be hostile, jittery or distressed at points for seemingly little or no reason. They try to adjust to their new life as royalty.

Koopa Kids

King Koopa keeps custody of his kids in this AU! Many koopas from all over the world volunteered to birth the king's children, but once they lounged around to get enough luxury items, they left. Bully was born paralysed from the waist down, but when unable to use his wheelchair, he gets around by flying. Also, Cheatsy is trans in this AU, but unlike the main world, King Koopa is fully supportive of his younger princess. (She dresses like Kootie Pie, but in hues of blue.) The only mother that still bothers to visit is Kooky's mother, who is much the opposite of Pirahna Koopa stereotypes and often comes to calm her son. The Koopa Kids age order is as follows:

Bully -> 14

Kootie Pie -> 11

Big Mouth -> 9

Kooky -> 7

Cheatsy -> 6

Hip & Hop -> 3

Broodals

The Broodals are a mafia gang! Madame Broode (called Mama Broode) is the mother figure and leader (as well as the birth mother of Hariet). Hariet is uninterested in joining the gang, and Mama Broode respected her wishes by getting an apartment near a wealthy school so Hariet could study and "become anything she wanted to make Mama proud". Meanwhile, Mama Broode took orphaned boys into her gang, including

Topper, an abandoned bun with a lazy eye and a stutter

Spewart, an aggressive and protective older brother mourning the recent death of his parents and coping with homelessness

Rango, a non verbal child trying to comprehend everything.

Their ages go:

Topper -> 8

Hariet -> 16

Spewart -> 12

Rango -> 3

And there you have it!!

Everyone I listed is open for asks!!

I waited so long for this, oh good golly-

It's 1am for me now though! Bedtime!

[mysteriesmuse]

How Class 1-A Reacts to a reader with a quirk Iike in H2O Mermaid

Your quirk allows you to waterbend, but at the cost of transforming into a mermaid everytime you touch water. And the full moon has you going all mermaid stir crazy. Part 2

The Girls

————— Shoto Todoroki has been catching up on a normal childhood since joining UA (through Class A movie nights) and has since discovered a profound love for The Little Mermaid and Avatar the Last Airbender. And so yes, post sports festival arch when he started out the whole “making friends” thing he immediately took an interest in becoming your friend. And y’all are besties now <33

Shoto thinks your quirk is the coolest!!! You’re so pretty when you’re practicing moving these giant spheres and ribbons of water! And, he loves seeing you swim laps in the Olympic sized training pool.

The two of your routinely train and spar against each other as part of your quirks are both elemental. You’ve been partnered together to practicing making complex shapes out of water and ice; and have much to Aizawa’s surprise and dismay the two of you have only succeeded in creating dazzling ice sculpture together. But now you make ice sculptures for all kinds of parties and events that UA hosts! The crowds love them! If there’s any costume parties the two of you always go for Katara and Zuko!! It’s the perfect costume duo.

You even have a plan on getting matching water/fire bender symbols tattooed after UA Graduation!! And Shoto is very on board bc he gets to piss off his dad and it’s symbolic of making fire his power: permanently. Plus a matching tattoo with his best friend? He’s signed up.

—————

Izuku Midoriya thinks your quirk is so cool!!! It’s almost more like 2 quirks like Todoroki’s and so he’s spend a lot of time endearingly questioning you about it. Little bean immediately makes it a goal to become best friends with you! Izuku is the one that actually discovered that your toenail polish affected your scales. He noticed it in training after a girls slumber party and partly because you wore sandals the next day. Some of your scales and the iridescent shine in class that day had turned pink! The same color as your new pedi?? Hmmm

so now you have Izuku to thank for your collection of nail polish and the pinkish shimmer to your scales!!

Izuku also spend the entire summer before UA cleaning up that beach and he continues doing beach cleanups on the weekends throughout highschool. And once you found that’s where he goes out to on the weekends you invited yourself. And he loves to go together! He doesn’t know why he didn’t think of inviting you himself!? I mean, mermaid + the beach?? That’s a match made in heaven. Now the two of you go. A little jog around the beach and some cleanup before you gleefully sprint into the waves. He thinks you look so happy out there and sometimes he’ll clumsily splash in and join you. Gets scared out of his skin, but loves to see you pop up your head above the waves near him and hold a hand out of the water brandishing pretty seashells!! —————

Katsuki Bakugou exclusively calls you Fish Face. To which you frequently reply by splashing him with water. And he paid no mind to you until he found you one night drunkenly waltzing around the dorms. I mean first he got kidnapped and now he had to live with these kooky extras?? Luckily for you, you had no memory of this night or what it is that you did. Although, you did ask a lot of questions when you woke up in your dorm room wrapped like a giant human burrito, but now it’s no longer a secret to your classmates. Now he begrudgingly keeps an eye and ear out for any mysterious mer-trouble at night. Not because he’s confused or concerned or anything. He’s just a light sleeper, yeah that’s it. He unknowingly is usually the only one woken up by your moonlight stirrings. As the primary cook in the 1-A dorm kitchen he appreciates your astounding praise and butt wiggles and hums of delight at the dinner table when he cooks up anything seafood. And, he’s got a list of good sushi places that non of the other nerds wanna go to. So he’s taken up dragging you out to lunch every so often. you frequently ask Katsuki to help haul you out of the pool because he’s one of the few strong enough to do it on his own. And he always acts like he hates it because he always says, “geez, fish face, why do you weight so much?” But will still come over to the edge of the pool where you stick your wet arms out and will haul you up. He’s forcibly encouraging you to go to the gym more for upper body. :’(

Overall he’s still snappy at large, but he can tolerate you and your tail. —————

Eijiro Kirishima thinks you’re so manly and so very pretty too. He never thought he’d be classmates with a real life mermaid. Like aren’t you supposed to be in his childhood storybooks and not in his highschool classes?? Thinks you quirk is a little goofy espically the whole touching water and moon thing, like isn’t that a werewolf thing? But admires your dedication to being stronger and trying to make the best of the mer-wolf stuff. Is totally happy to see Bakugou drag you over to the corner of the gym where he usually hang outs. Totally helps encourage and spot you while Bakugou makes you pump some iron, even if he’s not sure why it started. Kiri too, routinely gets asked to help get you off the floor or out of the pool when you fish out. When Jirou or Mina starts flagging him down from across the hallway he’s already turning to grab the wheelchair and rush to your aid. Calls himself the fishomobile with a big fat grin. Eijiro also loves to pick out rom-coms for movie night and will sit next to you and Ochako, except he’ll actually genuinely cry through it while the two of you only sniffle or laugh. He’s very manly about sharing his tissue box tho. has a soap that he watches on the reg. during his down time and you always seem to be passing through to get a snack from the kitchen when it’s on. You always join him on the sofa as he happily explains the convoluted plot

also this boulder LOVES sharks. Sometimes makes trips to your job and walks around looking at all the crazy cool shark tanks. you think he’s maybe gotten every single shark plushy that’s sold in your gift shop at this point. he has no regrets!! —————

Denki Kaminari thinks you’re gorgeous and super bubbly and he wishes that you guys would be put in more training exercises together! Calls you pretty much any water Pokémon name that comes to mind: Vaperon, Squirtle, Sealeo, Wishiwashi, Pyukumuku, Alomomola, Luvdisc, Goldeen, etc. although he usually just does the cute ones. also tried to retaliate against Bakugou’s calling you Fish Face and that’s how you got the nickname Fish Cakes. Bc hey why don’t you call her something a little nicer? it’s ok, it’s actually kind sweet. He’s always cracking the lamest jokes that get you snickering bc of how bad they are. It’s an admirable skill, honestly. the two of you keep trying to figure out how to safely do a team-up together with your quirks!! you brought the issue up to the big-brained thinkers in your class like iida, momo, deku, shoto, bakugou, and got nothing. Somehow it turned into another analysis of Pokémon team ups with the rich kids squad being left in the dark. resulting in you and kaminari battling Izuku and Bakugou. And for being frienemies they sure make a good team. Not to fear! Team ThunderStorm will try again someday. For now you and Kaminari are not allowed in the pool at the same time.

—————

Tenya Iida thinks your quirk is very suitable to be a hero on the coast. He’s still mentally debating if it’s a good rainy season hero quirk or not. He’ll let you know when he come to a conclusion. appreciates your dedication to studying and training. You somehow make a pretty good work/life/school balance that he’s slightly envious of. Seriously how do you schedule so well?! What’s your secret?? Really sympathetic to your “water allergy” and is very good at managing liquids around you. Very frequently waves people with open water bottles away from you. You two take turns being stopwatch buddies for each other. There’s definitely a competition to see who’s faster in their element. Unfortunately you’ve been at a stalemate for the past few weeks. really can’t get over how you drink water like an astronaut tho. Using your quirk to drink without spilling. always making a loud sigh afterwards, low key drives him crazy. But he refrains, girls gotta do what a girls gotta do right?

—————

Mineta finds you an easy target. I mean, gorgeous body, no clothes, and you immediately drop to the ground with no chance of escape when in contact with water. You know this grape is on the case. keeps acquiring a spray bottle to use to spritz on you whenever you’re in the dormitory, or library, or gym, or cafeteria, or you get the picture. always “apologizing” when he spills something in your direction. Asking to help you back up, to which you normally mercilessly punt him across the room with your tail. Or sometimes you’re too bothered to touch him and will just move the water around his legs so he can’t move while you army crawl away. although normally you and Todoroki aren’t too far apart so Mineta usually gets a decent chilling while Todoroki comes over to help carry/drag you around. you always give the frozen block of pervert a smirk and wave from over Todoroki’s shoulder. The boy tall enough that holding you this way doesn’t have him tripping on your tail. Let me tell ya’ it hurts when someone like Denki is trying to carry you out of there. *sigh* you really hope Aizawa see’s the classes petition and kicks that scum out soon.

[aamalaaa]

The Party And The Broom

idol jungkook! x reader

genre: romance, fluff, humour

word count: 868

a/n: a feel good, improbable scenario drabble born from an hilarious game of MASH, enjoy!

-

-

As you step outside of the elevator and onto the last floor of the HYBE building, you can’t help but wonder why you’re here. Over and over again. No cause why, how are you here?

You’re not working, as you usually do when you’re in this building (being a janitor and all), and you definitely feel like an impostor.

You feel a hand on your lower back, encouraging you to move, as you were very much standing still, eyes wide and heart racing like you’d just sprinted in the Olympics or something. Except you didn’t, you’re just a janitor, who’s very much smitten with the guy standing to your right, shooting you a dazzling bunny smile. Which is why you were here in the first place, J-Hope’s Jack In The Box pre-release party. As Jungkook’s date.

You have to force yourself really hard not to run back to the elevator and go home. This is embarrassing, cause who the fxck do you think you are?

“You okay?” a sweet, concerned voice asks you. You just stare into his big doe eyes. He looks a bit nervous. You probably look absolutely terrified, no wonder.

“It’ll be okay, I’m here alright?” He smiles.

“Let me introduce you to everyone”

Oh now you are SWEATING and you’re very thankful you didn’t forget to apply deodorant before you came here because, that would be your last straw. He tugs you by your waist and beckons you toward a group of guys who are laughing and chatting vigorously. Of course, you already know them, it’s his bandmates, the BTS boys. Yeah no, you can’t do this.

You stop in your track, and the beautiful black haired man stops and looks at you.

“Do you want us to go?” He brings a hand to his hair to try and comb it. He looks nervous. This is your fault, you never should’ve agreed. He stutters a bit “I-I.. I’m so sorry I should’ve stopped to think about how you felt coming here.. I’m sorry..”

You bring a hand to his cheek, caressing the soft skin. “It’s ok, I agreed Kookie. You couldn’t have known..” You stare into his eyes and smile warmly, trying real hard to show him you’re not mad. He leans into your touch, like a cute little bunny. You swoon, you’re down so bad.

“Wanna go eat something? We can grab a drink and si-“ A voice you recognize cuts him off. You step away from your date.

“Hey! I didn’t know you were working tonight, it’s good to see you!” It’s one of the events organizer, you’ve talked to him a few times while you were on lunch breaks, he’s nice.

“I’m glad I caught you, someone broke a glass and I’m kinda busy right now, could you go and clean it up?” He places a broom in your hand while you stare at him, motionless. “Thanks!” He goes off somewhere else, leaving you in shock.

Jungkook stares at the man, and then shifts his gaze to you.

“What the fuck” Is all he manages to say, while you stand there looking like a complete idiot. You both stay there, dumbfounded. I mean what did you both expect, you’re a janitor in this building, for fuck’s sake.

You see the Bangtan boys coming your way, and if a hole appeared beneath you right this instant, you would be immensely thankful. Hell you might start digging it right now, fuck wishful thinking.

“JAYKAYYYYY” You hear a high pitched voice saying, shaking you back to planet earth. You really wish you were a hallucination right about now.

The boys start swarming Jungkook while you stand there like a fucking inanimate object, broom still in your hand. Why couldn’t you be a rock, life would have been easier. You sigh.

They all turn to look at you and you think your soul might’ve left your body.

Hoseok is the first to speak.

“Hey y/n right? I’m glad you’re here, you’re working tonight?” He smiles, a bit confused.

Your mouth is agape, like a fish, a really awkward looking fish. Why. Can’t. You. Talk.

“Yeah so about that… I told you guys I was um, bringing a date right..” Jungkook says, rubbing the back of his neck. He gets closer and puts a hand on your waist. “Yeah, that’s her, my date”

You couldn’t be more rigid even if you wanted to, you might change into a stone statue, nothing is out of the question.

They all stare at you, very confused, and Namjoon’s gaze shift to the broom in your hand.

“Cool, why are you holding a broom then?…”

“I- uh…. someone thought I was working tonight, um..” Your cheeks heat up so much you feel light headed.

The man eyes you, and shoots a sympathetic look your way. He takes the broom from your hand and gives it to a worker who was passing by. “Let’s get you a drink yeah?”

His smile is radiant, dimples on full display.

Jungkook gazes at you, eyes big and hopeful.

You finally manage to talk, somewhat normally.

“Alright yeah, let’s do that”

Jungkook beams at you, bunny teeth showing.

And that smile, that wonderful smile.

It makes it all worth it.

[leox-un]

*scuttled over* Talk more about siren Vash? Does he use his siren powers to lure people away from violence like an aquatic Slyveon? Do his eyes go nyoom when its dark out or he looks at something/someone he loves? Can he mimic human voices? Is him being a Plant in this version like him being some weird version of algae and/or fish that have evolved together? Also he looks pretty 💙 Thank you for the art 💙✌

GRIPPING YOUR SHOULDERS TY FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT HIM MORE I AM ABOUT TO INFODUMP SO MUCH

so sirens are feared and considered a pest animal in the au, less of a "mythical creature ooo o oo" and more of a "we 100% know they exist we just hate their ass and are gonna hunt them to extinction"

general basic siren biology is that they all resemble some sort of fish/sea creature, but not from birth. their environment shapes them, and they grow to fit what they need. so essentially, vash and knives really change how they look when they're apart; vash grows to look like a sea dragon, and knives grows to look like a lionfish (pics below)

in terms of the main siren power, the fact that it attracts humans to them isn't intentional, its really just the way they speak (kind of like another language, but just. makes humans go kooky)

vash essentially left the ocean a Long time ago to just be a human, which means he tries not to use any siren things unless absolutely necessary; because of the effect the siren voice has on humans, he thinks its immoral of him to use it in any way (cough cough, scene where he has to save ww from drowning and he has to be siren to do so, cough cough, ww feeling betrayed thinking vash made ww like him with siren voice, cough cough) knives on the other hand uses it completely how you would expect, sinking ships that stray just a bit too close to where he generally stays

some other fun lore tidbits regarding sirens and their powers and such

- their voices sound very instrumental, vash sounds like a violin and knives like a piano (i wonder why)

- they're the only sirens that can assume a fully human form, other sirens are very animal-like in nature

- rem is the one that taught them to speak Human Words (they're a little bit older when they get to her in this au)

- yoinking a bit from tristamp here but vash and knives have somewhat opposite abilities that are unique to them alone; knives has the ability to revive the dead, and in general create; meanwhile vash has the ability to destroy

- the reviving the dead thing is important because legato was a sailor that knives revived and is now utterly devoted to him lol

ok thats it ill shut up now 😶

[m0r1bund]

This thing’s a mile long, so the rest of the image captions are enclosed under the cut. Continue reading below or at m0r1bund.com ▶︎

◆◆◆

[Image: A big ‘ol sketchpage of funny little centaur-spider-beetle guys. From the waist down, they are mostly hexapedal, with thick carapaces and stocky limbs that are equal parts ungulate- and insect-like. Their upper bodies are more humanoid, with two arms and an upright posture. Their chests and shoulders are enclosed in large, collar-like shells, and their heads are covered by a carapace forming a hood. They have a vaguely avian profile, with large, blunted beaks and oversized mandibles inset into their jaws.

One of them, Rho, hangs out with area human and research assistant Reyes. Rho is bipedal instead of hexapedal, with segmented satyr-like legs and a short, stubby carapace ‘tail.’ Her left arm and leg are mechanical prosthetics, as well. She watches Reyes shred on a makeshift hoverboard that they probably ripped off of a hunk of Imperial junk. In another doodle, Rho rides an old Imperial motorbike through the wastes.

Her cohort Oeste is a battle-scarred old woman with kind of a puckish, sanguine energy. He is missing his left arm. He’s variously drawn hoisting a basket of fish over his shoulder and getting up on his back legs to reach some fruit at the top of a saguaro arm. One drawing shows him carrying a scrongled-looking Reyes on his back, while he comments ‘This seems demeaning, somehow.’

There are some drawings from his not-so-distant past, too. He is shown contending with a space marine-lookin’ soldier on the fields of war. One drawing depicts the fateful loss of his left arm to a brutal cleave of the soldier’s longsword. In another drawing, he returns the favor by firing a mortar point blank at the soldier’s shoulder.

Only later does he learn the soldier’s identity. The Chief immediately identifies Oeste by his arm, and vice versa. It plays out like a reenactment of the ‘same hat’ meme, with the two of them pointing at each other and saying ‘The same arm!’

When the impulse to run away and self-isolate gets the better of Chief, Reyes insists ‘You should at least apologize.’ The Chief looks like she would rather die.

When she does finally sit down on neutral ground with Oeste, getting the apology out is like pulling teeth. She digs her sweaty palms into her knees and says ‘There is no way to rectify this but. I’m sorry. forcuttingoffyourarm’

To his credit, Oeste is very forgiving, if blasé. He says, ‘Oh, it’s no trouble! I think we both learned our lesson. It is very bad to flock like that! What a terrible delusion we have all suffered!’

The Chief strains. She says ‘There isn’t… Some kind of human hivemind… I did that.’

Oeste looks at her blankly and says ‘I fail to understand how that correlates with anything I have said.’

All at once, it finally clicks for the Chief. Geometry and trigonometry overlays converge with sentence fragments about imperialism and settler-colonialism to arrive at the final conclusion, captioned ‘Military industrial complexes is the same’]

◆◆◆

Thinking about my old buddies Oeste and Metahei Rho and [these] [guys] again. There was a time when they were called the Suhti, but  ‘Suhti’ feels exactly like something I would conlang in 2013, so I’m also thinking of renaming them. Nixthi? Nixtli? Nithi? Who knows. Anyway, it was only a matter of time before they found a home bullying the Empire.

Noodling on this sketch page made me realize I was sitting on more ideas than I thought I was. These guys have been living in the back of my brain for all of 9 years, so I guess that’s typical. There’s like 9342345245 separate threads that are coming together in a way that’s hard to untangle, so I’m just going to start writing and hope for the best.

Oeste is the chipper-looking hexapod who’s missing an arm. He’s a former agent of the ‘old guard,’ who gave up the gun and dishonorably discharged himself. He’s considered a kooky old lady with an air of death around him, but is ultimately well-meaning and tolerated. Put a pin in that thought.

Rho is the biped and Oeste’s understudy / one of few people who really trusts him. She and Reyes have some history, where the ashrunners in Reyes’ family regularly met with the wasteland scavengers in Rho and Oeste and co. They’re like family friends. Put a pin in that thought, too.

Trying to describe the, I guess, thesis of the Nithi is hard. I am very leery of the way fantasy+sci fi interacts with the concept of race and especially nonhuman race. If it lingers on biology for too long then I get kind of freaked out, so it’s hard to imagine in that space, even though I love to think about nonhuman cognition + the interior worlds of plants, animals, fungi, etc. But I’m trying! God Do I Try.

Lately I’m drawn to solitary animals who seem to get a genuine kick out of the company of other animals, e.g. octopus interactions with humans. I think that’s so fun to extrapolate on. Allergic to the company of your own species, but hanging out with the funnie primate? Oh Yeah. That’s Good. Put a pin in that thought x3.

One of my bigger bones to pick with 40k is that you really don’t need to narratively justify the dumb shit the Imperium does with some kind of outside existential threat, whether that be Bugs of Unusual Size, or aliens, or Actual Demons. Giving the Imperium a “reason” to exist just feels dishonest about how empires come to be and how they perpetuate themselves. On the flip side, this is a great lesson in how empires construct narratives about themselves. Reading 80% of the 40k lore as wartime propaganda about the ‘other,’ intended to justify this atrocity or that, is what keeps me sane in the trenches of the wiki.

I also just think it’s more fun if the ‘existential threat’ is a fabrication of the unceasing machine of Propaganda ™ in the face of an empire’s own terminal* existence. Legitimate only in that, strictly speaking, it could pose an existential threat to the empire, but an existential threat to an empire =/= an existential threat to its citizens or even humanity, even though a very concerted effort has been made to conflate those. Put a pin in that thought x4.

*Did yuo know? the average empire lasts about ~250 years, which raises some funny historical revisionist headcanons for 40k, but we can’t get into it. gotta sell figs war somehow.

ANYWAY. Speaking of the unceasing machine of Imperial Propaganda, I am always looking to bully the Empire in fun new ways. I think it would be very funny for the Empire to encounter a people who are, like, categorically asocial around their conspecifics and only societal with other sentient species, because Bad Things Have Happened whenever they organize among themselves at scale. And the Empire misunderstands this to mean that they assimilate into some kind of violent hivemind when they gather en masse, but the actual reason they refuse to associate societally is because they’re living out the dying throes of their own collapsed empire. When the Archive describes the Nithi as a monolith ‘so monstrous, a force so bloody and singular of purpose that humanity shivers at the touch,’ that’s just them taking a look in the mirror and not liking what they see. The shots are coming from inside the house.

Of course, it’s great to have some kind of alien ‘other’ for the Empire to justify its existence and lionize its endeavors abroad. Every effort has been made to drive a wedge between the citizens of the Empire and Nithi at large. Probably because if they realized they had more in common with each other than the Powers That Be, as two peoples carrying the baggage of two shitty empires, they would unionize. And That Would Be Baaaaad.

… Which brings me back to Oeste. He is an ex-soldier who fled to wasteland Earth to dodge the high price of desertion, i.e. execution. He had great timing, given that the collapse of whatever dominion was lording itself over the Nithi came right on his heels.

He carries the ‘old troubles’, or wartime knowledge, that most people, Nithi or no, are wary of. But as the Empire trains its eye on Earth, this raises some very real and difficult questions about the right of sovereign Earth to defend itself, and how. Among Earth’s Nithi in particular, this is an existential question of coming together and doing a rare and terrible thing for some sort of greater good. There is enough continuity between ‘old guard’ veterans like Oeste and armed guerilla resistance in the Empire’s frontier that the Empire perceives no meaningful difference; opposition is the same, whether it comes from another empire or a scrappy resistance force. The Archive is still operating on the hivemind hypothesis, so… not likely that they’re going to grasp the intense political landscape of Nithi mutual-defense accords any time soon.

It sucks. But the silver lining is that they get to heckle Imperials with ooky-spooky hivemind jokes. And fool them into thinking they’re acting of much greater numbers and coordination when they are… absolutely not!

Anyway, Oeste came to Earth to ‘get away from all that’ and keep an eye on the youth, e.g. Rho. He hasn’t been asked about his war wounds, and he’s perfectly content not offering his opinion about them unsolicited. (At least, not when it isn’t funny.) Probably there will come a day when that will change, but he hopes not.

Of course, these things have a way of coming back to haunt a guy. Oeste doesn’t talk about his arm for the same reason that the Chief doesn’t talk about hers, or most of her past deployments. Military trauma that you can’t even pretend to be proud of. They met once on the fields of war and left a, errr, marked impression on each other. Who struck first? … That’s between the Chief and Oeste.

Seeing each other in ~peacetime causes a little bit of a situation, but they’re kindred spirits. Oeste has a lot to impart to the Chief as someone who is much further along the whole ‘deprogramming and reintegrating into normal society’ process, and who is perhaps more familiar with what Imperial programming looks like than others. Besides, someone really has to tell the Chief that the Archive might have been wrong about a few things. A lot of things.

Reyes and Rho are just happy to see the old geezer (and Irene, lbr) make a friend.

Other napkin scraps:

Dunno if the hexapod / biped variants are morphs, or lifecycle phases, or if Rho is just a special case.  

Hexapod Nithi have two major gaits—they can walk in an ‘alternating tripod’ gait like an ant or a bee, or in an ungulate-like fashion with an extra set of forelimbs taped on (with all relevant gaits like walking, trotting, cantering, galloping, etc.) The joints connecting to the femur and tibia of the hindmost legs are very flexible, and can shift to accommodate the tripod gait (by facing backwards) or ungulate gait (by facing forwards.)  

It is extremely bad taste to get on someone’s back like a horse why would you do that. (Oeste has no shame though.)  

Probably both an exoskeleton and endoskeleton going on in here, so full-body armor is redundant except where soft tissue is exposed (upper arms, joints, etc.) Clothing and other adornments happen at leisure. Carapace carving, painting, and piercing is especially popular. Rho gets to wear pants because she physically can and because she thinks they’re fun.  

Don’t ask me if they still have stingers or can spin silk or not. I don’t know. I don’t know. it would be very funny to hock a sillystring loogie, though.  

After years of research, the Archive has documented many aspects of Nithi biology that make them such confounding and lethal enemies, including:

Their bulletproof carapaces (true.)

Their venomous bite (false.)

Their ability to regrow limbs (false.)

The fact that they pop out of the propagule fully formed and able to defend themselves (false.)

Their ability to communicate in subaural vibrations (true, but this is only a small component of several larger somatic language families.)

Their keen thermoreceptors (sort of true, they are coarser and more imprecise than the Archive thinks.)

Their ability to smell fear (false.)

Their inability to feel pain, remorse, or any emotion at all in a way that matters (buddy what do you think.)

The Archive is very good at science and would never lie to you.

[limerental]

ficletober day 31 - geraskier with implied geraskefer

It's the night of the annual Halloween party at the Rivia-Vengerberg manor, and a host of supernatural creatures are about to arrive. Too bad Jaskier, the resident party planner and werewolf, forgot that tonight's a full moon.

And this is my last ficlet boys! No warning's for this one. It's just kooky goofy Halloween nonsense. Featuring the Witcher cast as varying creatures in a nebulously modern au.

Hopefully you've enjoyed reading my weird little ficlets this month as much as I've enjoyed pooping them out every day.

“Fuck,” Jaskier swore, cursing the Universe. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

In a perfect storm of unfortunate events, the first guests attending his annual Halloween shebang hosted at the Rivia-Vengerberg manor were due to start arriving in under an hour, the party supply store down the street had had a woefully small stock of fake spider webs, leaving the house scantily underwebbed, Lambert had just called to say he would be late with the keg, the Spotify playlist he had made for the evening suddenly seemed like it was in the wrong order, and he had forgotten, in all of his planning, to account for the fact that tonight was a full moon and that he, Jaskier, was the resident werewolf.

More pressingly, he’d misplaced his favorite pair of fishnet tights.

“Geralt,” he called down into the basement, voice pitched louder than was probably necessary. “Geralt, are you still sleeping down there? It’s nearly evening. Time to wake up.” 

He tiptoed down the stairs, not really wanting to invite Geralt’s ire if he had woken up on the wrong side of the coffin. The vampire had never appreciated his manor being the site of Jaskier’s annual party but tolerated it for reasons unknown. 

In the basement, he crept past the hot water tank and pool table and assorted cardboard boxes to approach the stone coffin set on a raised dias at the back of the room. 

The lid stood propped open, and the pale vampire was sitting up rubbing at his temples as though he already had a headache.

“Geralt, I can’t find my fishnets,” said Jaskier, and Geralt sighed. “Oh, don’t sigh."

“I didn’t sigh,” grumbled Geralt, sighing some more.

“I can’t possibly pull this Dr. Frankenfurter costume together without a good pair of fishnets. I’d just be a sad, goth drag queen rather than– Geralt, are you listening?”

“No,” he said. “What time is it?”

“Nearly six,” said Jaskier. “Pay attention, my friend. Fishnets.”

“I’d check Ciri’s room,” mumbled Geralt. He rubbed at his face a while longer, making no move to rise from the coffin. Jaskier immediately bounded up the stairs but paused at the top, dangling on the hand railing to poke his head back into the basement.

“Oh yeah,” he said, “and I forgot uh… it’s a full moon. May have slipped my mind during the party planning. So like. When I wolf out when the moon rises, don’t let me bite anybody. That would be a smidgen embarrassing, wouldn’t it? Nearly as bad as a few years ago with the ice sculpture.”

He ducked up the stairs before he could hear Geralt’s likely judgemental answer.

Truthfully, nothing could be as bad as the ice sculpture.

And, fortunately, he was a fairly tame terrifying creature of the night. Gnawing non-consensually on people’s flesh was not his thing, even when transformed into a mindless wolf creature.

From what he had been told, because no matter how hard he tried, Jaskier could not remember his monthly episodes, his wolf form was not much different than his human one, except with less vocal skills and slightly better dance moves. 

Horrible taste in music though. One year, his wolf form had ruined his Spotify Wrapped by playing Nitty Gritty’s Fishing in the Dark for seven consecutive hours.

Jaskier entered Ciri’s room with trepidation. She technically no longer lived here, off on interdimensional time travel adventures doing whatever it was a teenaged girl with universe-hopping superpowers did, but it still felt wrong to intrude on her unnervingly pastel childhood bedroom. There were a great deal of unicorns and far less half-dissected dead rats than there had been when she lived here.

Geralt was right of course, and he found his fishnets flung over the back of her desk chair. He thanked his lucky stars that they were not hopelessly tangled, and he had not had to dig through a young girl’s underwear drawer. He had half-worried that Yennefer would emerge suddenly from a darkened corner just when he was wrist-deep in bras.

The witch had yet to show herself today, though he knew she was somewhere in the house because someone kept adding My Chemical Romance songs to his trial run of the Halloween playlist blasting through the bluetooth speakers in the living room.

“Yennefer!” Jaskier called, nearly face-planting down the ornate grand staircase as he tried to pull on his fishnet tights and scurry down them at the same time. “Quit looming in the shadows like some gargoyle and help me with my corset!”

The witch materialized without a sound before him, and he did trip down the last few steps into the faux cobweb-strewn foyer, sprawling on his ass on the blood-red rug. If he did not know that Yennefer dressed like Morticia Addams every day of the year, he would compliment her Halloween costume. As it was, he scoffed at her lack of creativity.

“Come on, Yennefer, you could at least mix it up a little,” he said, wrinkling his nose as he leapt to his feet. “You of all people should fully embrace the Halloween spirit. Wear some jewel tones or something. At least one color.”

“I’m an immortal witch who lives with a vampire and an idiot werewolf in a secluded, haunted manor on a hill,” she said. “Every day is Halloween for us.”

“It’s not really haunted, is it?” he asked. “I haven’t seen any ghosts.”

“Haunted by your irritating presence."

"Yennefer. Help. Corset."

“Turn around,” she said and began to lace and tighten his corset with sharper tugs than strictly necessarily. “Isn’t it a full moon?”

“Yes, yes, I forgot the moon phase. No need for everyone to bitch at me about it.”

“I’m certainly not bitching,” she said. “Wolf man you talks far less. I could do without the leg-humping though.”

Jaskier made an apologetic gesture.

"Don't lie. You love the leg-humping."

Yennefer scoffed.

When he got drunk enough, he was prone to humping Yennefer’s legs even in man form.

Ciri was the first of the guests to arrive, spiling through a shimmering portal into the middle of the living room. She was dressed as the Thirteenth Doctor, and a unicorn stepped through the portal behind her, wearing a Dalek eyestalk covering the slender horn on its forehead. 

Jaskier considered reminding her that this household had had a firm “no horses allowed inside” rule since the infamous Roach in the attic incident, but he wasn’t actually certain if unicorns counted as horses or were just vaguely horse-shaped. Ciri glared at him like he had brought it up anyhow. It was probably rude to accuse a sentient being of being a horse when they weren’t, and Jaskier was nothing if not a considerate and gracious host.

Living with several people who could either read his mind or knew him so well that they didn’t have to was just inconvenient.

Not long later, Eskel arrived dressed as a lumberjack with enough casserole dishes of assorted food to feed dozens of people, holes cut in the lumpy beanie on his head to accommodate his curved succubi horns, and Lambert showed up only a little late with the keg, wearing a leather jacket and cuffed jeans, grinning as impishly as expected, given his nature. His sharp, little teeth glinted, and his hair was slicked with grease around the pointed nubs of his horns.

“No poodle skirt?” Jaskier called, grateful for the arrival of the beer but unable to avoid giving his least favorite of Geralt’s weird brothers at least some shit. 

Lambert flipped him off. His forked tail casually snagged a pigs in the blanket from one of the platters Eskel was arranging.

“I’ll be the one laughing tonight, Wolf Boy,” he said. “How’s that moon feelin’?”

“I have another hour at least,” said Jaskier. “It’s barely dark out. Speaking of, where the hell is Geralt? He’s not going to hide away in that creepy little crypt of his all evening. He’s supposed to stop me from using anyone as a chew toy.” 

“What are you supposed to be anyway? A sad, goth drag queen?”

Jaskier gasped in scandalized affront, just as another My Chemical Romance song began to play from the speakers, and he hurried off to fix his playlist once again.

Triss Merigold showed up bearing several bottles of wine in a blush-pink Playboy bunny costume that clashed horribly with her red hair, and his flagrant ogling of her exposed bosom was cut short when the very scary Philippa Eilhart stepped up to press a hand to her lower back. She was wearing tufted wolf ears and sharp fangs, plus a bright red cape, which he personally felt was a bit derivative of yours truly but was not about to open his mouth to comment and risk being turned to ash.

The rest of the Coven of Sorceresses, or whatever they called themselves, appeared one after another. There were several among them dressed in sexy witch costumes, which seemed nearly as uncreative as Yennefer, who technically had refused to participate.

Fringilla Vigo had apparently missed the sexy part of the memo sent by the group and was dressed in full stereotypical wizard regalia, complete with moon and stars cape, pointy hat, and long faux beard. She got tipsy on Merigold’s wine very quickly and kept accidentally smacking people with her oversized wizard staff, giggling girlishly.

“Geralt?” Jaskier called into the dark basement. “The party’s in full swing, you know. I could transform into a significantly hairier fanged beast at any moment. Geralt, are you busy moping? Is this because the unicorn is allowed in the house and Roach isn’t?”

“I’m not moping,” said Geralt, decidedly moping in his coffin. “I’m meditating.”

“Your brothers brought beer. And those tiny biscuit-swaddled baby hot dogs you love so much,” said Jaskier. “Regis just showed up. He’s dressed as Dracula again, which… come on, does no one have even a small shred of creative integrity anymore? I know he’s a different flavor of vampire than you, what with the whole ‘doesn’t burn in the sunlight and isn’t allergic to garlic’ thing, but it isn’t that a bit of an offensive caricature? He’s talking with a really bad Transylvanian accent. That should be my gig tonight!”

Geralt’s inability to eat garlic bread was really, horribly, desperately sad to Jaskier, so he brought it up in conversation as often as possible, just so that Geralt knew he hadn’t forgotten that Jaskier was incredibly supportive of his depressing garlic-related plight.

“Go away, Jaskier,” said Geralt. Rather than go away, Jaskier took a running jump and vaulted himself into the coffin with his friend, only poking him a little in the shins with his tall, heeled boots.

“Are you having a case of the Mondays?” he asked. “Are you in blood withdrawal? Is it really the unicorn? I can ask it to leave but it does have a four foot sword on its forehead, so if it stabs me right to death I–”

“It’s not Ihuarraquax,” said Geralt. “Or blood withdrawal. Or… it’s not even Monday, Jaskier.”

“As previously-stated, I rarely have any clue what day of the week or month it is, Geralt.” 

“I’m just not feeling up to partying tonight.”

Jaskier snapped his fingers. 

“Case of the Mondays, it is.”

Geralt stared at him with a miserable expression. 

It was not much different than his usual look, but after years of strange, supernatural friendship, Jaskier considered himself a connoisseur of Geralt’s varying moods and quirks. Most werewolves and vampires did not prefer to spend any length of time in each other’s presence, but even Jaskier’s wolf form was unusually attached to Geralt. It was often him he ended up using as a chew toy, after all.

“You mind if I stay down here for my shift?” Jaskier asked. 

"You'll miss your party," said Geralt, his voice almost a whisper.

"Naw," he said. "I'm already going to miss it. Wolf me would probably spend the whole night line dancing again or something."

For a while, they just sat facing each other in the coffin, staring, and Jaskier dropped his chin to rest on his folded knees. He knew he must look as moon-eyed and dopey as usual while getting a good look at Geralt, but that was hardly his fault.

They called it puppy love for a reason.

Without consciously doing so, Jaskier's breathing slowed to match Geralt's even breaths, and he had the fleeting thought that maybe the vampire was faking a bummed out mood to draw him down here, where a relaxed, meditative state would ease the inevitably painful trauma of his transformation.

It didn't suck sometimes. Living with a house full of creatures who knew him so well.

Through the narrow slats of the basement windows, the moon rose bright and full in a crisp, black sky.

Over the thumping bass of a colorful gathering of drunken misfit supernatural creatures, a wolf began to howl.