#the first two games are free + the third one is very cheap

[raazberry]

how do i get people to play the entire hello charlotte series. i am losing my mind here

[piratefishmama]

Crossing The Line | Part 4

“What the fuck is that?” Was Robins immediate question as Steve donned a pair of sunglasses and a cap just before disembarking the plane.

“My disguise.”

“Your disguise?”

“Yeah, y’know. Fans an stuff.”

“...Steve. Steven. I’m always here to keep you humble, you know this, so I say this with an immense amount of—”

“Robin do you remember the JFK incident? Not the president don’t be a shit, I mean the airport and you know it.” The JFK incident being a single fan who got ONE photo of him walking through the terminal and boom, paparazzi everywhere, it was as though they’d just emerged from the walls.

‘What are you doing in New York?’

‘Are you visiting anyone special this Christmas?’

‘When are you releasing new music?’

‘Will you be attending any events here in the city?’

‘Who are you wearing right now?’

‘STEVE SIGN MY TI—’

It was always chaos. “Yeah yeah you got to sign an impressive set of double D’s, woe is you. I can see your moles Steve, that isn’t going to fool anyone with eyes.” Sure his signature head of hair was covered but the moles were as good a sign as any when it came to eagle eyed Airport celeb spotters.

“Sign an impressive— my ass was grabbed more times than I could count! I had hand sized bruises Robin!” He bruised like a peach and people in crowds were grabby. “I lost my favourite sunglasses.” The cheap pair he’d grabbed from the gas station after his first real paycheque cleared. “These cover my hair and my eyes, I can’t cover anything else.” He didn’t have the resources to pull a full face of SFX to hide himself.

“Aww poor baby, okay. At least put this on.” She pulled the scarf from her neck and wrapped it around his, it wouldn’t do much, but it’d cover the vampire bite moles he’d shown off on one of his early album covers.

“Great I look like a twenty-ten hipster.” It wasn’t even scarf weather. “All I need is a bullshit moustache.”

“Better than the local weirdo at a kids playground.”

“Oh my god, is that Steve Harrington?!”

“Shit.”

“Rest in pieces, sis”

“Robin get back here!”

There was a subtle art in getting away from paparazzi and fans alike, an art cultivated from being chased by them since he was nine. It involved fake plants, bathrooms, and Robins impressive gallery of ‘fake fan photos’. All it took was a photo whizzed over the internet through Robins ‘fan’ account, an account which used one of their regular makeup girls photos as a cover (agreed to, of course) to act as a ‘fan’ of Steve Harrington.

“How come nobody TOLD ME Steve Harrington was going to be flying out of Indy today?!” Captioned above a photo from two years prior that Robin took from a distance at that very airport for that very reason.

It took all of five minutes for the hoard to dispel, hurrying as fast as they could to as far as the airport staff would allow them to go, but Robin and Steve were once again free to get their asses out of that airport and into an Uber before anyone else could spot them.

“Okay, battle plan. I got us a twin room at the—"

“Don’t say Conrad.”

“What’s wrong with the Conrad?”

“It’s… bougee. It’s like the only five star in Indy, he already probably thinks I’m the worst, a nice four star would be fine, and a twin room? Robin how the hell am I supposed to woo a guy and bring him back to the hotel if we’re sharing a room?”

“First of all, I think you’re super overestimating your level of game right now to think that you’d just be able to go from wooing to the hotel room in one sweep this guy seems like highkey mom’s basement dwelling virgin, dude probably scampers, second, we don’t even know if he enjoys the male form, and third... honestly I’m expecting you to strike out so we can have a sleepover with facemasks and chocolates. But fine, fine, what hotel would you like?” Robin passed him her phone with the booking app already loaded.

“Your faith in me is truly what gets me through my days, Robin.” He was choosing to ignore the panic inducing idea of what if he isn’t even into guys?!

“I aim to please.”

“What about an apartment? See there’s one here, two double bedrooms, four star rating, we can book now and grab the keys at reception.”

“Fine, fine, you’re making all the food though, since you’ve robbed me of my five star room service.”

“I’m cool with that.” A few buttons pressed, details auto filled, booking complete. Indianapolis, here they come!

Part 6

[sentientstump]

Hello I am loving ur posts lately but I have no clue what hylics(?) is and I’m Very interested! Can u share what exactly it is/where I can find it?

Hey!! thank you for enduring this much 人(u.u )

Hylics is a surreal RPG game series that provides experience compared to no other. The first one was made in RPG maker! Here is the trailer for it:

The second one is in 3D and it's amazing! Parkour can be on unreachable levels but it's worth the struggle to perceive such forms and shapes perform a linear storyline with more details:

These two are pretty cheap on steam and itch.io if you want to experience them with your own abilities or you can check youtube for playthroughs, there's a pretty decent amount I'd say! (or a secret free third option but I don't support it in this case, apologies u_u)

loud round of applause for the entirety of OST btw, it's really awesome!!!

[charlesandmiranda]

1/31: Shinjuku morning and Akihabara afternoon

After our first night in Shinjuku, we spent the earlier part of the day wandering around the Kabukicho area before we had to check out of Hotel Gracery. It was kind of interesting, because the area is primarily known for its nightlife, as I mentioned before, but it's still very busy during the day, with people seemingly just passing through, or folks cleaning and getting ready to open up at night. It's definitely a different vibe. We walked through some more game centers and arcades, just to kind of leisurely pass the time, before around 2 pm(ish) we hit Shinjuku station and started heading towards our next place to stay. Here's Charles playing easy mode on a drumming game, playing along to the opening theme of Spy x Family, which is a very cute, popular anime we both like.

I also had to stop at a Japanese Krispy Kreme because they're exceptionally tasty, and they have a super classy vibe that is definitely not part of the marketing in the US

Before Shinjuku station, we stopped by a department store that houses the Godzilla store, called Marui. They definitely had some cool Godzilla stuff to see.

Lastly, before we left Shinjuku, we went to a guitar store, where Charles bought a guitar pedal (this was very much a precursor to what was to come, haha)

The next place we headed to was Chiyoda, where we stayed in the Manga Art Hotel! It was a capsule hotel, comprising two floors -- one for men and one for women. If you're not familiar with a capsule hotel, they're like...private bunks or tiny rooms fitting a single person, and they often have dorm-like shared facilities for showers, bathrooms, sinks, etc. A lot of them are very simple, but you can find some super cool themed ones like this one, too. And best of all, they're typically very inexpensive, which we definitely took no issue with! haha.

The big draw for the Manga Art Hotel, for me, is that it essentially also functioned as a manga library (manga are Japanese comics!) The capsules are built kind of like walled in bunk beds and they're all decked out with tons of manga, in both English and Japanese, and you're free to borrow and read as much as you like for the duration of your stay! I also really loved the design or the whole thing, it had a sort of funky, clean and modern look and there was a really beautiful balcony on the women's floor. I only wish it had been a little warmer, or I would have loved to spend time out there!! Sadly we were still a bit too jet lagged to get much reading in, but I read the first two volumes of Tokyo Tarareba Girls and Charles read Give My Regards To Black Jack. I'll do a separate photo dump for Manga Art Hotel after this post!

The whole building we stayed in was actually quite cool, the ground floor appeared to be some kind of pop up music venue, and on the third floor right below where I stayed, there was an extremely tasty and charming coffee shop called Social Good Roasters!!! There is soooo much really good coffee here in Japan, even from vending machines and convenience stores (called "conbinis" here!) that even fast and cheap coffee is fun to try.

After dropping off our luggage, we went to spend the afternoon roaming around Akihabara, which is also known as Electric Town. It started off back in the day as a hub for folks to buy and sell new and used electronics and computer parts, but now it's best known as an otaku (geek) hub, that also boasts an impressive number of arcades and shops where you can buy anime goods like statues and figures, plushes, buttons, keychains, all kinds of stuff. There are also some cool stores for famous brands like Tamashii Nations, Kotobukiya, and one of my favorites, the Mandarake Complex -- Mandarake is a secondhand goods shop that sells a huge variety of manga, doujinshi (fan comics), cards, figures, etc. They occasionally have really old and rare stuff so it's almost like visiting a museum!

I will say, maybe it's the time of year or maybe it's just us, but the variety of stuff at Akihabara this time around was not as exciting as times we've gone in the past; just not as much of the cool old/vintage stuff and wide variety as we've seen before. Neither one of us are really into the most popular anime and manga right now, so most of the stuff on display was

We wandered around til well past dark, but at this point the jet-lag was setting in. We stopped for a snack break at the popular chain Mister Donut (which is, as you'd expect, a donut shop -- they're much like....chewier and less sweet than American donuts) we hit a few other places before we decided to head back to Manga Art Hotel and turn in early.

Keep you all posted with more soon! M.

[mellowthefairy]

My Classic Forestcraft Deck (prototype)

(Just to clarify, this is primarily for story and for fun play, nothing competitive here!)

Never posted about it before, but I have been a huge fan of Shadowverse for a while! I've played the game off and on across a few accounts for a few years, and due to my steam version being funky I installed a fresh account on Bluestacks.

Well, after making some "decent" decks using the newer packs they've given for being new, I got curious as to what kind of decks I could make using only the free starter cards given + cards from only the very first set released in game. So, here's my first of the 8 decks made: my Forestcraft deck!

(Just a note, these cards are all from any free starter cards they give and anything from a single 10-pack pull of the Classic set!)

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My first thought when building the deck was "okay, I can see a good consistent flow of Fairy in my hand." Let me tell you all, that thought was but an UNDERSTATEMENT.

For those who aren't too knowledgeable on the game, Forestcraft decks have many cards that gain extra effects when 2 or more cards are played in the same turn when you play that card. Thus, you'd want to play cheap cards to easily meet those conditions.

Enter, "Fairy"

It doesn't seem like much, a simple 1/1 vanilla for 1 mana. On its own, yeah it's not much. But in this deck, these little fey are a CORNERSTONE of the making sure the deck gets going.

With how cheap these are, plus how easy it is to get them in your hand, you can more than likely meet conditions of having played 2 or more cards in a single turn fairy easily, making for easy activations and great pop-offs.

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Let's talk about how exactly we get Fairy into our hand, though. To do this, we need to simply look at a fourth of our 40 card deck.

Water Fairy is one of the free cards you get as a starter card, and we use it well. One of our better starter cards, it's a simple 1/1 for 1 mana that grants us a Fairy on its death. Cheap, easy to use, overall appreciated.

Despite only costing 1 more mana, Fairy Whisperer is such a big help for getting plays made. A 1/1 for 2 may not seem like the best, but on summon, it gives you two Fairy which makes it much more worth it. Especially for a certain card I'll mention this for later, it makes for a nice 2-part combo!

Sylvan Justice is just...a nice spell to have regardless. For 2 mana, it deals 2 damage to any enemy monster and gives you a Fairy in hand. Add on that you get 3 for free, as just like the last two cards, they're included in the starter pool of cards, and we just appreciate having the card in the deck.

One of the two amulets we have, this card is the culprit for sometimes having a hand just full of Fairy, but man does it help! For 3 mana, you're gifted a Fairy at the end of your turn for basically the rest of the game, unless your opponent somehow removes it! It's also the first card in the deck that I pulled from my 10-pull, and if I get more I'd probably play one additional copy, but I don't think 3 is needed. 1-2 will be the good range, in my opinion.

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I wanted to quickly avert our attention to 2 cards I pulled from the 10-pull that help to spam Fairy easily, by just removing the cost for them and making them free summons!

Fairy Bringer doesn't mislead with its name. A 1/3 for 2 mana is subpar on its own, but the fact it makes a Fairy in hand a free summon by simply summoning her is pretty valuable, and if I can get a third copy then I'll definitely play it!

Elven Princess Mage is our other cost changer, but it's a bit more tricky to use. A 3/4 for four is fine, but the fact you need to evolve her to get the change can be useless in the late game, once you've used up your evolution points. However, pulling it off is VERY helpful, as unlike the Fairy Bringer, this one GIFTS you the Fairy, so you cut out the middle-man. I think 1-2 is good, but I don't think 3 is really needed!

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Now, we have our Fairy givers, so lets go ahead and see who all we have to profit off playing 2 Fairy a turn?

Elf Guard is yet another free playset you get, and a pretty cheap card to play earlier on! A 1/3 for 2 is nothing bad, but add on it turning into a 2/4 with Ward following 2 Fairy makes it even sweeter, especially in the early game. This is the card I was talking about with Fairy Whisperer, where turn 2 you get your free 2 Fairies, turn 3 do whatever (just don't play the fairy!) then turn 4, summon both Fairies and this for 3 bodies on turn 4, with one of them being significantly more annoying to get rid of!

Although not immediately free, you can get your playset of Elf Metallurgist by playing the first story mode for Forestcraft. She fills a similar niche to Elf Guard, but instead of being a 1/3 to become a 2/4 with Ward, this is a 2/1 that gains a small burn when paired with two more monsters! Also pairable with Whisperer, she's not needed but very loved to have!

A BIG jump in mana cost, but Treant is yet another free set given at the start. Definitely a late game type of card, as a 4/4 for 5 isn't the best. But hey, a 6/6 for 5 on turn 7, or even turn 5 if you have two free-cost Fairy in hand, that can turn into a 8/8 when evolved? Now we're talking! Still, probably one of the cards I'd trim down on when we start getting more cards to change the deck up with!

Yet another free 3-of, Magna Botanist is just such a nice late game drop. A 5/5 for 6 isn't the worst, but add on its +1/+1 general boost to your whole board following up 2 Fairy? It's just...nice. Nice is the perfect word for it. There's nothing not to love about it!

Costing only 1 more mana than its younger form, the Elder Treant is a card that, in my opinion, is better in every way. A 5/4 for 6 mana isn't the worst, but the fact that it evolves into a 7/6 when played behind two Fairy is just appreciated! Not many enemy monsters can stand getting smacked for 7, plus free evolutions are always appreciated! I would probably play 2-3, so I can't wait to hopefully pull more of him!

The last of these types of cards, Forest Archelon is, in my opinion, the funniest of them all to get to activate. A 5/7 for 7 mana is alright, but when you play and suddenly that push your opponent was building up no longer can pick away your field? The best feeling, especially if your board will kill them next turn and they can't easily clear out your threats. Would run another copy, but I think 3 may push being bricky.

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These nect three are somewhat similar to the last group, but moreso just enjoy you playing cards, regardless!

The only one of the three that still want to be in hand to get the boost, Rhinoceroach can fill in that last slot, but that's besides the point. Storm allows him to be able to attack the enemy leader directly upon summon, ignoring summoning sickness, so if you can get a pretty high number, then (for the turn it's summoned, at least) you can deck your enemy in the face for a good amount! It loses its boost at the end of turn though, which is a big turn off, so I'd probably limit this to maybe 1-2 copies unless your confident you can work with 3 consistently!

Tam Lin is, in my opinion, a bit better than Rhinoceroach in a few aspects, yet the fact there's no Storm really sets back its usefulness. But for 1 more mana, you get a 2/2 that gets a +1/+1 boost to keep, which in some cases may just be better than the storm that the roach has. But I don't think Tam needs a full playset in your deck, so just like the roach, 1-2 should be good! They both fit different roles.

The only one of the 3 here that you actually get for free, I just love this good boy. Okami gets a +1 attack boost that's permanent, and when you're often trying to summon 3 monsters in one turn, that quickly makes Okami a 6/4 for 4, maybe even more if you keep Okami around long enough to make for a big beater! There is some favoritism here, since I just love Okami, but I will keep playing 2-3 copies!

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The last few cards Im gonna mention all were basically last minute inclusions, or there wasn't anything better to play, but I'll do my best to explain how they can be useful!

Probably the most useful of the last cards, Woodland Refuge surprisingly has quite a few targets to make its effect live! Of course all the Fairies you summon are candidates, but cards like Water Fairy, Fairy Whisperer, Elf Guard, Fairy Bringer, the roach, and Fairy Champion all also can use the boost! I might play 2-3, but I only have the one for now so let's hope I get more!

Another cheap card I only pulled one of, Fairy Champion isn't required to have, but being a 1/1 with Ward for just one mana isn't bad! Better to play than a Fairy for sure, so once I get more I'd definitely make it a 3-of!

Elf Prophetess is a card I think can be used really well if I had more copies. Having Ward is of course nice, but the ability to recycle Fanfare (aka when summoned) effects like Fairy Whisperer or Fairy Bringer can be crucial to making the next turn be even more explosive! However, its 5 mana cost can be a little iffy, so 2-3 can be good, probably staying at 2.

Fairy Princess is one of the two temporary cards that I have in here (alongside Rose Queen), but man is her effect pretty good! On summon, just completely fill your hand with Fairies! This can make for plenty of cheap drops for your cards per turn users, but also works well with the next card on the list! Once I get her, I'll try to run 2 copies of Princess.

Rose Queen, as stated, is the other temporary card we're running, and if this isn't the epitome of niche usage that I've seen, I don't know what is. On summon, turn all Fairy in hand into Thorn Burst seems good, and combos well with Fairy Princess, but for me, her cost really holds her back, making her an end game type of card. But there are cases where she can end a game on her own, since Thorn Burst dealing 3 damage for 2 mana on even the enemy leader can be a quick way to finish off a weakened enemy. For sure a 1-of, but a funny inclusion.

Quite literally the last pick, Elf Tracker makes it due to not many other better options. It was either her or Dark Elf Faure, but I found that I appreciated the little chip damage more than the Fairy add-on every attack, since we already have enough ways to get Fairies and clog our hand often enough. At the very least, since you get 3 of both Tracker and Faure, I can see arguments for both being ran so do whatever you all think would help more!

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Well, there's my deck break-down for this step of the deck so far! I'm currently grinding out coins to buy more packs, so let's see if maybe Ill pull some more copies of cards we need, or even brand new cards to change up the deck!

[pavspatch]

Hyde's place in the history of the penalty

IT'S amazing what sometimes makes its way into your inbox. Recently, and thanks to Mike Smith who is better known as Mossley Smiffy, I was alerted to the fact that the first penalty in the history of football was scored by a former Hyde player.

The man in question was James McLuggage who spent a season with the Victorian Tigers in 1889-90. He played at least 20 matches, scoring a dozen goals.

At the time Hyde FC were a very ambitious club, in fact one with ideas above their station, and it was this attitude that led to the famous FA Cup tie with Preston North End (who were quite a lot bigger).

In common with the Invincibles and other Football League clubs they began to talk of importing talent from Scotland — something that wasn't cheap. But the Athletic News said Hyde had a free purse and there was even talk of signing a player from Glasgow Rangers Reserves on wages of £3 a week (which would equate to about £270 in today's money).

That may even have been McLuggage, who made at least one appearance for the Ibrox first team, but he joined Hyde from Accrington.

Hyde spent lavishly in other ways too. They paid clubs like Belfast Athletic to come and play them. J Fairbrother and Son (Grange Road North was then called Fairbrother Street) started erecting a grandstand. They joined the Lancashire League and even sold photographs of the players.

Of course they couldn't afford it, and by the mid-1890s the original Hyde FC had folded. A new club was established by Charlie Barber, landlord of the Gardeners, Lumn Road.

But back to the famous Jim McLuggage. Here's how his historic penalty exploits are recorded on scottishsporthistory.com:

"One of the cornerstones of football was born in 1891, out of frustration at cynical fouls which prevented a goal. The penalty kick was launched at a meeting of the International FA Board, held in the Alexandra Hotel, Glasgow, on June 2, 1891.

"It was one of the most momentous changes to the laws of the game, and while it was intended for the following season it did not take long to make an impact. The first award of a penalty took place just four days later, on June 6, 1891, at Mavisbank Park, Airdrie.

"Larkhall side Royal Albert defeated Airdrieonians 2-0 to lift the Airdrie Charity Cup and one of their players made history. Around 2,000 fans witnessed 'what is in all likelihood the first case of a referee granting a foul under the new law for tripping, holding, or handling the ball within 12 yards of goal'.

"Few people, least of all the players, knew what to expect: 'That the new law was a puzzle to the players was evident, all appeared to think they could stand in front of the ball as of old, but imagine the astonishment of both players and spectators when Connor alone was left between the sticks, while his ten companions had to go six yards behind the ball along with the Royalists.

" 'In simple, the new law means that but two men settle such infringement, the kicker and opposing goalkeeper, and a goal is a moral certainty with half-good management'.   "The main protagonists in this little scene can all be identified. The referee was James Robertson of 5th King's Royal Volunteers, who lived in Partick and represented the Southern Counties on the Scottish FA committee. The goalkeeper was the veteran James Connor, who had a Scotland cap to his name.

"And most importantly, the scorer was James McLuggage.

"Born in Ireland around 1865, James and his family moved to Scotland when he was a small boy and at some stage dropped a letter from their original name of McCluggage. He started his football career with Cowlairs, and was good enough to be selected for Glasgow against Sheffield in 1886.

"When he moved to Larkhall he turned out for Royal Albert and the Motherwell Times in 1888 described how a howl of joy and triumph arose from the Larkhall supporters’ when he took the field.

"McLuggage also recorded occasional appearances for Third Lanark and Rangers before turning professional with Accrington in 1889. However, although he played in eight Football League matches, it was not a success.

"By the end of the year he had joined Hyde and he was back in Scotland with Royal Albert in 1891, where he remained for at least four years.

"His sole claim to football fame is that momentous penalty. He died in Larkhall on November 18, 1949."

[stillunusual]

Leeds United: Meslier, Bogle, Firpo, Ampadu, Struijk, Rodon, James (Piroe 71), Joseph (Bamford 79), Georginio, Gnonto (Aaronson 71), Gruev (Rothwell 71).

Subs not used: Darlow, Byram, Gelhardt, Wober, Crew. Last season Leeds United got off to a poor start, managing to win only one of our first five games - and also finished the season badly, losing four of our last six games. Nevertheless we ended up with an impressive 90 points, but still failed to get promoted. In order to secure a return to the Premier League this time around, we need to do at least as well as last season while hoping that nobody else is able to dominate the league like Leicester and Ipswich did last time….

Our opening fixture against Portsmouth looked like a very winnable game that would get us off to a better start, but what happened instead was typical Leeds - we dominated the game, missed loads of chances, gave away some cheap goals and ended up scraping a draw….

Amazingly, Leeds hit the woodwork three times in the first seven minutes. First of all, a great cross from Georginio found Willy Gnonto in the Portsmouth box, who saw his deflected shot hit the bar and go behind. From the resulting corner, Ethan Ampadu's header also hit the bar, with Junior Firpo's follow up then being saved by the Pompey keeper. Less than a minute later a free kick by Ilia Gruev hit the corner of post and bar.

Shortly after that we were awarded a penalty when Dan James was blatantly fouled in the area and Pascal Struijk coolly slotted it home to give Leeds a deserved lead. To say that we bossed the first 20 minutes of the game would be an understatement, and it should already have been put to bed before awful defending and worse goalkeeping gifted Pompey an equaliser totally against the run of play. Leeds continued to dominate the game, but Mateo Joseph, Gnonto and Georginio all failed to put away decent chances, and Pompey scored again just before half time with their second shot of the match….

Fortunately, Gnonto equalised shortly after the restart and it looked like we would still go on to win, but despite dominating possession and creating more opportunities, we couldn't find the net. Daniel Farke made a triple change in the 71st minute, replacing Gruev, Gnonto and James with Joe Rothwell, Brenden Aaronson and Joel Piroe. A few minutes later Patrick Bamford replaced Mateo Joseph. But the changes actually made us less effective and as the minutes ticked by, it looked like the game would finish 2-2. But then Pompey were awarded a very dodgy penalty in stoppage time, and scored their third goal from only their fourth shot on target - and it looked like it was all over.

However, Leeds didn't give up, and Aaronson almost turned himself into an instant hero by equalising from the edge of the box after being played in by Piroe. I say "almost" because in the final seconds he could have won the game for Leeds but dragged his shot just wide….

It must have been an amazing game for any neutrals watching, but for Leeds fans it was two points dropped at home, and a worrying sign that the flaws which prevented us from getting promoted last season are still there….

[goombasa]

Library Propoganda Post

Go to your local library.

I'm always a bit surprised to hear about people who don't know about everything that you can find there. Then again, libraries aren't nearly as advertised as they used to be, and yet there is so much that you can do there.

And y'all should go and experience it.

First and foremost, to make sure everyone knows, public libraries are free. There's generally no fee to get yourself a card and start checking things out. Literally no excuse not to go in and grab one.

Most obviously, you can check out books, of pretty much any subject or genre. If they don't have what you're looking for, bring it up with the librarian on duty, ask what their process is for making requests. Most libraries will have an interlibrary loan system, where you can request a book and they'll borrow it from another library for you to read. Note that some libraries do ask for postage for this service, but others will just eat the cost for you.

But what if you live a good, long way from the library and are worried you won't be able to get the books back before the due date? Well, libraries generally have phone numbers or some will have an online system where you can request the books be renewed. Again, it differs from library to library, but in general you'll be able to renew a book up to two times before it has to be returned, provided there's not a wait list for it. Almost every library will also have a drop box available as well, where you can drop off books after hours if you can't get back before they close.

And it's not just books either! A library exists to make media and information of all kinds available to everyone for as cheap as possible. To this end, libraries nowadays will offer DVDs, Blurays, audiobooks, periodicals, and even video games for rent. Some of the larger libraries I've been too will even have older tech available, with means to use it, like VHS or cassette tapes, or even game consoles to rent, though they're usually very particular about those, or they're only for use within the facility.

But what if you don't have the physical means to watch movies or listen to audiobooks anymore? No CD player, no DVD or bluray player? Well, apart from watching in the facility itself, most libraries will also have digital services as well that you can sign up for with your library card number. My library has services like the cloud library, allowing you to check out electronic and audio books like they were physical. You check them out, and then when the time expires, it's returned and you can check out another one without having to worry about late fees at all. We have Kanopy, a free streaming service with a focus on documentaries, foreign films, and blockbusters from a few years ago. We have the comics archive, which is full of comic books and graphic novels from all eras and countries.

But that's just stuff you can check out. Public libraries are also a great sour of news, as they often have local, regional, or national newspapers available to read, along with various periodicals and magazines too. Heck, some libraries will even host an archive (physical or digital) of back issues of local news sources or articles associated with the local area. Depending on the nature of your library, you might also be able to find a lot of genealogical information there as well. Local yearbooks, graveyard records, local histories, libraries often have that stuff available for public perusal. 

Ask about technology while you're at it, as many libraries might not necessarily have a lot of tech that you can take off premises, but there's a lot there that you can still use, whether it's computers and printers for basic web browsing and computing uses, conversion equipment to get your videos and audio off of aging formats and back them up digitally, and even programs that might help you get cheap or free devices that you might not be able to afford on your own. This is usually done in association with third parties.

If you're looking for things to do with your time off or want to learn a new skill but prefer the motivation of being taught in person or being around other people who are trying to learn the same thing as you are, or just looking to join a club or organization that enjoys a similar hobby, the library often hosts local talks, informative classes, or is just a meeting place for folks who want to have a group discussion about whatever they wish to talk about.

I'm sure I've missed a few things, as there are some differences from one library to the next, depending on who is funding it (I'm fortunate in that the town government funds my library and gives it a very generous yearly budget for basically everything, as well as a local fund that helps us equip it with whatever technology, repairs, and upgrades it needs), but most of these options are available (FOR FREE) at your local library, and even if you can't make frequent trips there, just getting a library card and using their digital services helps to keep them funded and functional, you have no idea what it means to a librarian to have new people come in and take a look around for stuff. And most library staff is more than happy to help you find what you're looking for. Even if they don't have it in the building, they'll help you find out where and how you can find it.

This concludes your local library propaganda post.

Go to your local library.

[scarlettriot]

Stood Up

You (Y/N) get stood up from a date and Kaminari decides to do something about it.

Pairing: Kaminari/F!Reader

Contains: Fluff, Flirty Denki, Established BakuSquad Friendship

Warnings: 18+ Below the cut, Minors DNI! Swearing, Electro-Stim, Overstimulation, use of pet names (cuddle bug & cutie), oral (F receiving), consensual recording

A/N: Well, here we are with the third in my Stood Up series. There is also Bakugo & Kirishima if you're interested. This one took me way too long and it's also my first time writing Kaminari at length. I hope you all like it :)

Word Count Starting Below: 2,461

You slipped your foot into the silver heels you had picked out. Something a little fancier since this was a first date after all and you wanted to make a lasting impression. Not only that but this was your first first date in a while. Being a Pro Hero made life busy and dating difficult.

Practically the entire day leading up to this very moment revolved around you either getting ready or babbling with excitement to your closest friends.

An alert chimed on your phone with a text from your date, a smile sliding onto your face expecting to read some message about how they were on their way and that they'd see you soon, but that wasn't what you were met with.

Instead, it was a screenshot of your Instagram page, multiple of them actually, all of you and the ridiculous photos you took with your friends but mostly with one Denki Kaminari. The most recent of which was from a tea shop he met you at just earlier that day so you could show him the shoes for your date.

The message below was simple and more than enough to leave a sour taste in your mouth, this isn't what I want to see when I'm supposed to be taking you out tonight. What, one date a day isn't enough? Why are you even dating? Does your blonde boyfriend know?

You giggled at what they were implying, quick to explain how these were all your friends, they had been since high school! They are people you spent what little free time you had with. Especially Denki, your best friend since you were 15!

That joy you felt started dissipating within the next few messages. You hadn't even had a first date and they were already jealous, and that was something you didn't have room for in your life. So, you slipped the heels off your feet and put them directly back in the box to return when you had the time. Tight black jeans and fitted top were exchanged with a hoodie and sweats although your makeup and hair stayed done, you didn't have the energy to undo your hard work.

Instead, you slid back into your computer chair, your headset snuggly back on your ears and before you notified everyone you were back online, you took a moment listening to the chatter of your friends.

"Shitty Hair! Fuckin' pay attention!"

"Yeah, man! We're getting slaughtered over here!"

"Less yelling at Kiri! More shooty shooty!"

"All of you are hopeless..."

Eijiro chuckled out an apology that was accompanied by a lighter giggle also coming from his mic. "Think this is gonna be my last round for a bit, guys."

"You're so fuckin' whipped." Bakugo scoffed, before screaming profanities.

"Is it whipped if I'm the one who's wanting to get her into bed though?"

You clicked your mic back on then. "Hey, remember last week when Kats forgot his push to talk so we all heard him getting head and we party whipped because someone couldn't focus?"

"You better shut the hell up right fucking now!"

Everyone else roared with laughter. "Yeah! At least I have the decency to mute myself!"

"Hey, wait a sec, why are you online, Y/N!" Denki noted, "You should have already left!"

You screenshot your messages to the group chat because it was far easier than just explaining the ordeal.

"Cute shoes." Eijiro and Kyoka commented at the same time.

There was a lull as their game ended and the messages were read.

"Ya don't need 'em if they're gonna have their head so far up their ass like this."

"I agree." Hanta chimed in. "They're not worth your time."

"Still, sorry they turned out to be a shit." You could hear the frown on Kyoka's face, "I know how excited you were."

"Right, you doin' okay, Y/N? I can stick around and we can all shoot some things!"

"Thanks, Kiri but I'll be just fine! Go spend time with your girl!"

One by one, everyone signed off. You pulled up Spotify and Stardew Valley, something of a comfort for you to get lost in for the rest of the night.

Less than an hour later, you noticed your phone lighting up with your best friend's familiar smiling face. "What's up, Denki?"

"Open your door! I have my hands full and don't wanna put everything down to get my key!"

You sprang from your desk and rushed to your door. Sure enough, on the other side was Denki with bags in both hands and his phone tucked between his ear and shoulder. You grabbed it and a bag before he had a chance to drop anything like the klutz he was. "What's with all this?"

"I feel bad."

"Why? You didn't stand me up?"

He fiddled with the edge of a paper bag. "Yeah, but, we both read those messages and no one said anything but they didn't just call our group out, they called us out.

"Denks, it doesn't matter to me-"

"But, it does to me! You were so excited about this and I got in the way, unknowingly but, still! So, I gotta make it up to you now!"

He pulled out take-out boxes from your favorite restaurant. Two bottles of your favorite wine. Your top three favorite movies and video games, and a board game you both had been meaning to try. "I mean, if they think I'm your boyfriend I kinda gotta live up to the hype, right?"

You really wanted to insist that none of this was necessary. That just because some person that neither of you really knew that well, assumed something about your relationship that didn't mean he had to blame himself for it.

But, you had to admit, this was really sweet. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to you that he knew everything you liked but it was nice. Instead of sitting across from a stranger, making awkward small talk, and trying to learn about one another, you were barefoot in your kitchen, laughing with your best friend while he plated dinner and you poured the wine.

Formalities were out the window. Both you and Denki were eating dinner in your living room, laughing and drinking just as you'd done a million times before. You snapped a photo of the delicious food on paper plates, toasting good times with your cheap wine, ready to post them to your Instagram.

"Gonna make them more jealous..."

"I think they made it pretty clear they don't want to see me so why should I care?"

He shrugged. "I just thought they might, you know, come to their senses that they obviously lost."

"I don't really care either way." You wandered back into your kitchen, putting away the leftovers, "They can forget I exist or they can stalk my page like a creep. If someones' gonna try and tell me I can't be friends with my friends or just not listen to me, then I don't want them in my life. No matter how good-looking they are."

Denki watched you from the sofa, a bit of a lopsided grin on his face that had butterflies taking flight in your stomach. "What?" Laughing to hide the bit of a crush you always had on the man. It was unavoidable you told yourself. His personality was infectious and had 15 year old you head over heels.

He pushed back bright blonde hair back off his forehead and just shook his head. "Nothin'. Uh, what's next? Video game, board game, or movie?"

You peaked on the counter at the options. "Well, we probably should have checked this but the board game needs at least four people to play... guess we'll have to save that for our next game night. Is a movie okay?"

Of course, it was.

You brought over the DVD with a refill of wine and he pulled a blanket down off the back of your sofa.

It really didn't take long, just fifteen minutes or so, and you were curled up into Denki's side. You'd make grabby hands for your wine glass and he'd pass it over with that damn grin again.

And not long after that, he'd pulled out his phone, angling it to take a picture of the two of you. "What are you doing?" You could see him on his own Instagram, tagging you, with the caption, Check out my cute cuddle bug.

"I thought you didn't want to make them more jealous."

"I decided I don't care either. You're mine tonight, their loss. And since you're mine tonight, I get bragging rights." He snapped another quick picture of you rolling your eyes at him, and then he kept snapping them.

"Denki! Why!"

"Because you're cute, cuddle bug! I like having all the pictures of you that I can!"

Even as you tackled him back down on the sofa, pinning him below you, he still managed a photo. "Bet if I post this one, they'll really get the wrong idea."

You could have moved. You were the one on top of him and you had his arms above his head. You had the power here and yet you just lingered above him.

"Y/N? Not that I'm one to complain about having a beautiful person such as yourself pinning me down, like, it's kinda hot, but..." Looking down into half-lidded golden eyes, you wondered why you had to become best friends with such a damn flirt! "Are you gonna take advantage of this situation we're in or are we just gonna keep dancing around this for another decade or so?"

You couldn't have heard him right? No... no this was your brain playing tricks on you because he certainly hadn't had that much wine tonight. You sat upright on his lap. "Another decade then, Y/N?"

"You- ha- you should stop that, Denki."

He leaned up, moving his arms around you, "Gimme a good reason to and I will."

You didn't have one. And not just because you've been in love with him for ten years but also because he was your best friend. The only reason to not go through with it was the possibility of losing your friendship if something bad were to happen but, you really didn't think anything would.

Denki might have been a serial flirt but he was surprisingly loyal in all the relationships he'd been in, not that there had been all that many serious ones.

"I'm not hearing anything." He teased, his face getting closer to yours. You could count each and every one of the faint freckles that littered the balls of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "But, I promise, if you tell me no, I'll stop, won't push this any further."

This whole thing seemed like a frickin' whirlwind, happening faster than your brain could really process the situation but you didn't want it to stop either. You wanted to take it further, didn't want to say no.

Which was why you coiled your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. There was that small little buzz of electricity that tickled your lips when he'd kiss your nose or cheeks that was now playing on his lips, on his tongue when you welcomed him in.

He leaned back again, pulling you with him until you were both a pile of needy hands and breathy pleas. Everywhere his hands roamed you felt that faint trail of shock against your skin, making the little hairs on your body stand on end.

Clothes were shed, tossed haphazardly around your living room, both of you pausing to laugh when Denki managed to land your hoodie over a lamp. His attention was drawn back to you quickly though, still perched on top of him but now he had your chest on full display since you'd forgone a bra when your date canceled.

Electrifying tongue twirled around your nipples, sensitive normally, now it felt like you knew what it was like when he fried his damn brain. He was eager, relentless even, pulling and sucking, another hand giving your other breast a similar treatment. He had you so focused that you let out a broken moan when slender fingers found their way into your panties.

"Fuckin' hell, Denki."

The bastard winked up at you, nipple still between his lips and before you could retort, he sent another small jolt through you.

You were blatantly grinding down on his hand, reaching behind you, you found him completely solid, barely being contained in the tight black boxers he wore. You had enough sense to tug them down and wrap your hand around him making his teeth sink into your soft flesh, whining when you stroked him.

"Y/N..." He whimpered, his hand momentarily distracted from his ministrations gave you enough time to shift in his lap to scoot forward putting his cock in front of you. In one swift motion, you had his length between your slick. "Oh fuck, cutie!" Golden eyes were squeezed shut while you moved along him, feeling that pleasant curve he had, you could only imagine what it was gonna be like to have him inside you.

"You're being a little tease, ma-makes me wanna do all sorts of things to y-you."

He was kissing your neck, your chest, shoulders, and arms, anywhere on you that he could reach. His hips bucking up into you, just trying to hit that perfect angle.

Strength and agility were something most overlooked when it came to Denki Kaminari but when the man wanted something bad enough, he found a way to get it.

He had your ass rising up in the air with a harsh thrust of his hips and a small squeak from you, giving him exactly enough time to scoot down on the sofa so you were sat atop his face. If you complained, he didn't hear you. Denki already had your thighs around his head and his tongue devouring you completely.

Little shockwaves rocked you while you cried out his name, hands fisting blonde locks just trying to stay upright.

One orgasm from you apparently wasn't enough, neither was two but on the third, Denki finally relented, allowing your heartrate to come back down and your gasping breaths to come in more steadily.

You slid back down his body, his erection now smack against your ass. His hair was recked, face completely flush but he had the biggest grin on his face that you'd ever seen.

Denki kissed both your cheeks, "You are so amazing, cutie!" Kissed your lips, "You taste better than anything I've ever had!" And one more on the tip of your nose. "Doin' okay?"

You nodded, starting to really gather yourself again, and by this point, you really just wanted one thing.

"I wanna... Denks... can I take care of you now?"

"Sure, cutie! How do you want me?" The wiggling eyebrows had you rolling your eyes and pushing him on his back again.

It took little effort for you to position yourself above his cock, and with how slick you were, his bright pink head slipped right inside. He held your hands while you scrunched up your face, sliding all the way down him until he was completely sheathed within.

The curve was immaculate. Hitting in just the right way that had you moaning with just a couple thrusts from him. Before long, you were eagerly bouncing on his cock. Riding him hard so he filled you up each and every time.

You barely registered him reaching for the coffee table, his phone now in his hands. "What're you doin'?" You practically slurred, slowing only slightly. He tapped the camera lens with a wicked grin. "Seriously?"

"We could make 'em really jealous now..."

Somewhere in your brain, you knew your date wouldn't give two shits, in fact, this probably would have only validated their thoughts about your's and Denki's relationship but with his cock stuffed so deeply into you, kissing your cervix in the most beautiful way, you really didn't give a damn.

You and Denki put on the best possible show you could think of. You were overstimulated, sore, and completely elated! He balanced the phone against the wine bottle so neither of you had to try to hold it.

This way he could play with your breasts or squeeze your thighs while you dug half-moons into his chest. Shocked with the playful zaps he sent right to your core.

Your makeup you'd didn't feel like taking off now ran down your cheeks with tears. Your hair was a mess thanks to him pulling at it.

Denki had you howling through another two orgasms, telling you how perfect you were, how nice you felt squeezing him so tightly, your nails felt so good against his skin.

It was only when you collapsed against his chest did he hoist your hips up so he could ram into you, pulling out just at the last second with a strangled cry of your name.

He wiggled himself free, grabbing a towel from your bathroom and cleaning you both up before stopping the recording.

"You're, hey you're gonna send that to me right?" You asked when he handed back your hoodie off the lamp.

He dropped a kiss on your lips, plopping down beside you on the sofa again and you noticed your email already up and the video uploading. "Obviously, we share all our videos and photos. Why would this be different?"

[rlyehtaxidermist]

arknights thoughts for new players: marksman snipers

this is not a short post.

Marksman Snipers: Jeff Bezos’s Greatest Fear

Marksman Snipers, also called Single-Target Snipers or Anti-Air Snipers, are the bread and butter not only of the Sniper class but of the game. Maps where you don’t use at least one Sniper are rare, and those Snipers are probably Marskmen. They’re the go-to solution for dealing with aerial enemies, who are a common feature on maps and often need a specific answer lest they fly straight for your goal; many Marksmen also are a primary source of consistent physical DPS even for ground-bound foes.

While there are more Guards than Snipers, Marksmen are the single largest subclass, with a whopping 16 regular operators - more than any other three Sniper subclasses combined. You’ll want to raise at least two early, and will probably have a third by the time you move into midgame.

Justice Knight: Mid Value

Justice Knight, like the other Robots, can deploy without using a deployment slot. Unfortunately, she has a low maximum ATK, so she struggles to deal with enemies with even middling levels of DEF. Her main value is being dropped down to give her short-term bonus Fragile debuff to nearby ranged units attacking aerial enemies - but unless you have a highly-concentrated collection of ranged units, this 25% DPS boost will still be less than deploying another dedicated attacker. Still, if you have slots on your team but not in deployment, she can be a quick DPS booster against a drone rush.

Rangers: Mid Value

Rangers is a 2☆ and exists in the same universe as Kroos so he’s never going to come out great, but he’s very cheap to raise. His Talent helps him stay competitive with other low-rarity Snipers against aerial enemies, and while nothing really helps him stand out, he is very cheap to raise.

Kroos: Extreme Value (no I’m not joking)

As of the last time statistics released, Kroos is the #2 most picked Sniper for Integrated Strategies. She only places behind Ch’en the Holungday, Metafucker Supreme and Hypergryph’s Great Mistake. Part of this is that 3☆ operators don’t take Hope to recruit, a consideration only needed in IS - the other part of this is that Kroos is an excellent Operator even for bloody edge endgame players.

She remains usable, if not optimal, for pretty much any endgame content, and her damage output is deceptively high: her talent averages out to a 25% damage increase (32% at max potential), her skill provides a large ATK boost and a free attack every 5 shots, and her base ATK and ASPD are good enough to keep them consistent. Her S1 is powerful enough that she can basically step in for many similar skills on higher-rarity Marksmen without too much trouble.

Most jobs a Marksman Sniper can do, Kroos can do - the others just give you a bit more wiggle room, or have special cases beyond the basic role of the archetype. Raise Kroos. Turn on Kroos Control. She won’t let you down.

Adnachiel: Low Value

Adnachiel is fine. He shoots slightly faster than most Marksmen, and has the benefit of a second target priority for enemies with ranged attacks - a trait that makes him useful for picking priority targets out of drone swarms or just foot traffic.

Unfortunately, he exists in the same universe as Kroos, which relegates him to a sideshow unless you’re dealing with some very specific corner cases like a large number of enemies with a single ranged attacker in the back. Even then, Kroos’s better DPS will probably handle it just as well.

Jessica: Mid Value

Jessica’s first skill makes her essentially 4☆ Kroos, but shifting some things around. Instead of Kroos’s chance for boosted damage, Jessica gets a small ASPD boost, and instead of Kroos’s second shot on her skill, Jessica S1 gets a bigger ATK buff. This “Kroos S1 but slightly different” is found on a lot of Marksmen - though not all of them - and I like to call it the Kroosiform skill.

The comparison here needs to dig a bit into how DEF impacts damage. For each physical attack, DEF is subtracted from the incoming damage - meaning that while Kroos’s double attack seems to have a larger damage output than Jessica’s single, stronger attack, Kroos’s damage will have DEF subtracted twice (since it’s two attacks), while Jessica’s will only subtract DEF once. Conversely, Kroos’s talent - a flat ATK increase - often seems to deal more than the stated amount, as it is applied before DEF is subtracted, Jessica’s ASPD increase becomes less effective against sturdier enemies, as more frequent attacks mean more frequent DEF calculations. In general, Jessica S1 is thought of as comparable but a little worse than Kroos due to this matchup, as well as the relative cost of raising them.

Jessica S2 is an interesting, but highly situational option. The 75% dodge buff it grants (which is independent of skill level) is a huge boost to survivability in an otherwise fragile class, allowing her to operate independently - or at least with less support - against enemies that would easily eliminate other Marksmen. New players generally don’t have to worry about this at all, and even for endgame players, it’s not something that comes up very often.

All of that said, she’s still essentially “a second Kroos”, and since you probably want more than one Marksman, she’s not a bad choice, and the game gives her out for free.

Meteor: Low Value

Meteor’s essentially an upgrade to Rangers as a more-dedicated-than-usual anti-air specialist, with the added bonus of a percentile DEF debuff that can significantly increase damage to mid- or even high-DEF foes... that she probably shouldn’t be attacking anyway with her poor base ATK.

She has the Kroosiform S1 of most Marksmen, trading Kroos’s second hit for a larger ATK bonus as well as a debuff to the target’s DEF. Her S2 is also an Offensive Recovery skill, taking longer to charge but hitting 5 enemies at once and having a slightly larger DEF debuff.

Her greatest strength is boosting the damage output of other allies in the same general physical DPS class niche - which means she’s hard to put forward as an early investment, since she’s best when there are several other Snipers to support. On her own, Kroos will outdamage her even if Meteor is at low E2.

Her debuff can provide a significant damage boost for physical damage-heavy compositions against higher-DEF enemies, but this is more of a lategame niche, and she struggles to compete with other debuffers in more general use squads.

May: Mid Value

May follows in Jessica’s footsteps of “what if Kroos were slightly different”: in this case, she brings a Slow debuff into the picture. Her first skill is the same basic Kroosiform “every five attacks, hit harder” that Kroos and Jessica have, though in her case she has a slightly lower ATK buff but inflicts a 2-second Slow.

Her second skill slows down her attack speed significantly, gives her a moderate attack bonus, a shorter Slow than S1, and a 30% Stun chance. This allows her to play support - albeit somewhat inconsistently - for a team that lacks other means of crowd control, and much like Jessica, worst comes to worst she’s a second Kroos.

Vermeil: High Value

Vermeil's first skill is a vanilla ATK boost like Adnachiel’s, and isn’t really worth mentioning in detail. Her second skill is what finally lets the rest of the subclass out of the shadow of the Kroosiform Marksmen, giving her a small ATK boost on a decent uptime, and allowing her to hit a second target.

This puts her into a very different niche than the Kroosiforms; she will struggle to compete with them against bulkier targets, but will dramatically outperform them against large groups of weaker enemies. Since “large groups of weaker enemies” describes a lot of drone rush maps - including the important Skill Summary and Sniper/Caster Chip dailies - this gives Vermeil a strong place on any early roster.

Blue Poison: High Value

Blue Poison is Vermeil’s direct successor (or predecessor, since she was introduced first) as a multi-target Marksman, and has many of the same strengths while mitigating some of the weaknesses.

Blue Poison’s S1 is a combination of Vermeil’s multi-hit and the Kroosiform short-offensive-recovery charged shot. It’s essentially identical to Kroos’s skill, but strikes an additional target instead of hitting one target twice, and has a higher ATK modifier. Her S2 is essentially a better version of Vermeil’s, with a similar small ATK bonus but hitting two extra targets instead of one.

Whether or not she’s a better investment than Vermeil is something of an open question. S1 allows her to be more functional with high-DEF enemies - though not competitive with other 5☆ Marksmen - and while S2 lets her hit more enemies, it doesn’t address Vermeil’s more fundamental issues with low ATK. She also has access to a small amount of Arts damage, but the amount is small enough that it normally doesn’t matter.

Platinum: Extreme Value

If Vermeil flirts with abandoning the Kroosiform Marksman subtype, Platinum throws it in the trash and writes a scathing letter to its manager. She has the same vanilla ATK boost on S1 as Vermeil and Adnachiel, but no one raises Platinum for her S1.

Platinum’s S2, Pegasian Sight, gives her an ASPD penalty, a large ATK bonus, and an extra row of range... permanently. Once it triggers, it stays active for the rest of the map. This not only lets her pick off enemies that other Operators struggle to touch, her base ATK and the bonus from her skill are large enough that she can deal meaningful amounts of damage even to high-DEF foes. Even the ASPD penalty is secretly a buff in disguise, as Platinum’s talent gives her an additional multiplicative ATK buff for taking more time between her shots.

Where most Marksmen hit fast, Platinum hits hard, and she’s extremely valuable for taking down bulkier air units such as Defender-4s and Raptors. Her main weakness is the long windup time on her skill, and her difficulties in handling larger groups of weaker enemies - something well covered by another Marksman. Between this and her range - often enough to outshoot even Challenge Mode-boosted enemy units - no other Marksman can do what she does.

GreyThroat: Mid Value

Of all the 5☆ Marksmen, GreyThroat hews closest to the Kroosiform style that dominates the lower rarities, with S1 being a charged shot that quickly builds up to an extra hit and extra ATK, and S2 being a smaller ATK buff that hits one target multiple times. At E2, she even gets a variant of Kroos’s damage boost talent.

Her main strength against other Kroosiforms is that her first skill is Auto Recovery rather than Offensive Recovery, and can store an extra charge. This means that she’s not reliant on targets being in place to charge up, and with enough time to build power she can drop two S1s in a row.

S2 is very powerful against individual, low-DEF enemies, but it’s a bit hamstrung by its Offensive Recovery and poor uptime. Still, for burst damage, GreyThroat S2 shouldn’t be underestimated, especially against Arts Master drones and other lower-DEF aerial units.

April: Low Value, Situationally High Value

April’s S1 is the standard Kroosiform charged shot without anything particularly more to say about it, but her S2 and Talent give her a unique niche somewhere between a Marksman and an Executor Specialist.

After deployment, April S2 prevents her from being targetted for a time while giving her a mid-sized ATK buff. This allows her to attack or even kill many enemy ranged units before they’re aware of her to counter, which can be used to make space on maps that start out with enemies on the board. April can then be retreated once the skill expires, leveraging her talent for a faster redeployment than other ranged operators.

The downside of her S2 is that it offers no benefits for longer-term deployments, as the only way to reactivate it is to retreat and redeploy April. While S1 still allows her to cover the basic Kroosiform anti-air role, she doesn’t stand out from the crowd of similar Marksmen, especially for new players who won’t see maps that really benefit from her S2 for some time.

Kroos the Keen Glint: Mid Value

You cannot escape Kroos. She is ever-evolving. However, her older self leaves a lot to be desired compared to her original incarnation, being kind of an awkward combination of herself, Jessica, and Vermeil with little to help her stand out amongst her 5☆ peers.

Keen Kroos leans fully into the multi-hit attacks niche, with few ATK bonuses to speak of. Her passive has added a short Stun chance to a successful trigger, but otherwise her damage output is more about rate of fire than heavy hits - which is a problem when DEF is subtracted from each hit individually.

Keen Kroos will absolutely demolish swarms of drones, and unlike Vermeil even benefits from the presence of a few hard targets in order to activate the conditional boost for her S2. However, she has lost the general utility that makes her original self so dominant, and (at least until Il Siracusano) deploying her locks you out of the original Kroos.

Exusiai: Extreme Value, Major First E2 Contender

Exusiai is the final evolution of the Kroosiform Sniper, or at least GreyThroat’s sub-subtype, and bookends the Marksman class. Exusiai’s kit is all about one thing: hitting so often that it doesn’t matter how hard you hit. She will eviscerate low-DEF enemies, and her skills throw out enough individual hits that even mid- or high-DEF targets can take appreciable scratch damage.

Exusiai’s first skill is the same general shape as other Kroosiforms, with a smaller ATK bonus than Kroos but a third hit. While the usual caveats about high-DEF enemies apply, the third hit is still a significant power boost over other Kroosiforms. Her second skill is a manual charge that has a smaller ATK bonus, but a fourth hit - nice, and a substantial source of DPS even at E1, but her real strength comes in as an E2 candidate.

Exusiai S3, Overloading Mode, is her main strength. It slowly charges up over time and then automatically activates, making all her attacks hit five times for 15 seconds. While S3 offers no ATK bonus without investing in masteries, it does come with a reduction in attack interval, which is compounded by her Talent’s ASPD boost. The downside of this skill is that there’s no manual control over its activation, so if you need it to activate at a specific time, you have to be careful with her deployment - but the amount of damage on tap generally means that as long as you’re in the right general ballpark, it’ll be fine.

Exusiai is stonewalled by high DEF even more than other Marksmen; Exusiai S1 will generally do less damage to bulky enemies than Kroos. But Exusiai’s ability to cut through low- or even middling-DEF enemies - a group that includes most drones - like a hot chainsaw through milk cannot be overstated. She remains a core choice well into endgame play, especially due to her powerful synergy with ATK buffer supports or debuffers to compensate for her S3′s lack of an innate ATK boost.

Ash: High Value but if you have Ash you’re probably not a new player

Ash was the first non-Exusiai 6☆ Marksman released, and in many ways exists in Exusiai’s shadow. Where Exusiai is defined by her multihits and single-target DPS, Ash takes the same general rapid-fire approach but focuses more on crowd control.

Her greatest asset is her first Talent, which triggers an AOE Stun effect after deployment. This couples well with her S2, which not only reactivates the Talent stun, but also deals considerably more damage against stunned targets on top of a massive rate of fire boost. Her S2 also introduced ammunition-based skills, which guarantees she will get up to 31 hits in with her skill - or allows it to be reset early to start charging for a later wave.

Her main weakness compared to Exusiai is that many harder targets - where Exusiai’s rate of fire is weaker than Ash’s large ATK boosts - are often also immune to Stun, reducing S2 to be a simple rate of fire boost that Exusiai will beat out without much effort. She also doesn’t get as much of a boost from E2 - while her S3 can be a powerful nuke, it’s very limited, and while her boost to initial deployment is useful, it’s not game-changing.

Archetto: Mid Value

Archetto has the same problem Exusiai does, with much of her value being locked in her excellent third skill, but unlike Exusiai’s servicable early skills, Archetto’s first and second skills are at best situational. She also lacks innate ATK buffs, but while Exusiai compensates with sheer rate of fire, Archetto has more situational multitarget skills.

E1 Archetto will struggle to damage tanky enemies, while not bringing much DPS to bear on fragile ones unless they come in crowds. While she’s definitely worth raising for her third skill - an excellent range-boosted multi-target multi-hit that lasts longer than Exusiai S3 and can even compete with it in damage as long as two targets are in range - her more lackluster E1 kit makes it hard to push her for investment over cheaper, lower-rarity operators or Exusiai for new players.

[ackermelon]

I woke up and realised that I had sent a text to my friend at 4 A.M. the previous night. I had no recollection of that, but the text simply said, "I just know Zeke smells like sweat all the time." Half-asleep me knows what's up.

Anyway, so this started a long conversation about how some anime characters would smell. Here are the highlights (attack on titan and haikyuu):

Attack on Titan:

Erwin: I think he'd smell like sweat, but not the overpowering, fly-killing, coma-inducing, kind. It's like, natural, subtle, and weirdly comforting. He looks to be the type to never get cold. Like, he just radiates heat, and he tends to sweat, even in winter. However, he knows how to manage it and still smell decent.

Hange: Wet dog. I'm sorry, but they look like they shower once every blue moon. Occasionally, Moblit would hose them down, but after he... you know, Hange focused more on work and less on themself.

Levi: Sorry to be bland and "like the other girls", but he smells like detergent. Everyone says that because it's true. He does all the cleaning, and makes sure to remain clean himself. He would also smell like soap, but only a little. I feel like he's the opposite of Erwin: his body temperature is naturally cold, so he doesn't sweat as often, unless they're outside the walls fighting titans and shit.

Jean & Connie: Sweat. All the fucking time. However, after the timeskip, they started taking the time to clean themselves to save the people around them from having to inhale their revolting body odour. Towards the end of the manga, they invest in some quality perfume because it was about time they got laid.

Colt: He would smell like fresh laundry; like, his natural scent would be so refreshing - very clean and warm. I described it as, "infused with serotonin." But maybe that's just me, considering I would risk it all for this delicious man.

Floch: Nasty. Call me biased because I hate this son of a bitch, motherfucking stinky poopy asshole. I feel like I could smell his nasty ass breath through the screen. Piss yellow teeth and lots of cavities. He doesn't even have to raise his arms for us to smell his deadly body odour. I feel like gagging just looking at his face; imagine having to smell him too.

Summary: Realistically, they would all smell like sweat; I'm pretty sure Isayama said that pretty much all the characters have bad hygiene. I wouldn't blame them considering their life was at risk from the second they'd left the womb. However, I believe some of them manage it better than the others.

Haikyuu:

Daichi: He definitely uses body spray, but it's much less subtle than Axe, and it actually smells good. He doesn't use it everyday - mostly on the days he has vb training or whenever he feels like it. His natural scent is... oh boy, lordy lord. Let's leave it at that.

Sugawara: Fruity. Suga smells fruity. He loves berry and citrus-scented perfumes and he never leaves the house without spraying some. It's not overpowering, but you instantly smell it when you get near him. It's perfect.

Hinata & Kageyama: Listen, they shower everyday, and they come out of that shower smelling pretty good. However, whatever happens in the 7.32 minutes after that undos the shower completely. Like can they sit down for a second??? They reek of sweat. Hinata doesn't even notice, but Kageyama carries baby wipes around to try and manage the odour. Hinata starts doing the same halfway through his second year.

Tanaka & Nishinoya: ... You know what's coming.... Team Axe spray. They spray, inhale and ingest that shit. They go through 16 bottles a month. However, they drifted away from that cursed product during their third year and started using a cologne they stole from Akiteru's bag (he forgot it at Tanaka's house after he finished "hanging out" with Saeko). Yes, they did find condoms in there and Tanaka now greets him with a glare.

Tsukishima: This man always smells good. Always. You will never catch him lacking. Usually, he wouldn't wear any artificial scents or perfumes, but when it comes to occasions.... My God. This man will pull out the most luxurious, most expensive perfume you have ever seen. He has a lot of savings which he uses to buy shit like that. But yeah, you will instantly get down on one knee if you were to catch a sniff of him.

Yamaguchi: He isn't a big fan of perfumes, but his natural scent is phenomenal. He often smells like his body wash, which is just a nice, soapy scent.

Kiyoko: Flowers. Expensive Marc Jacobs perfume. Heart eyes for my queen.

Kuroo & Bokuto: As first-years, they were loyal to their bottle of Axe. However, they did notice that they were basically repelling girls (that didn't matter as much when they became second years and Kenma and Akaashi came into the picture <3). They ended up "borrowing" Daichi's body spray during training camp that year and their loyalty shifted to that. They have yet to return the now empty bottle to its rightful owner.

Kenma: Doesn't give two shits. If he smells like soap, then he smells like soap. If he smells like piss and diarrhea, then so be it.

Akaashi: This man... This man. He moisturises daily. I just know it. He would borrow expensive lotion from his mother since he isn't the biggest fan of perfumes. Vanilla, yes. And whenever he doesn't use scents, he would smell like laundry powder, Lavender. Or just heaven in general.

Oikawa: We all know this man is broke but pretends he isn't. We just do. He uses cheap dollar store perfume and tells people it's fucking Gucci. You know he would. No use denying it. People just go along with it because he always looks submissive and breedable.

Iwaizumi: Definitely a cologne guy. He puts it on after his daily shower and it lasts all day. Aoba Johsai members are all in love with him. He's the human manifestation of a gay awakening. As for Iwaizumi Hajime, 27, athletic trainer, he uses a more expensive cologne and the MSBY players, their opponents AND the audience all fawn and drool over him. They didn't come to watch or play the game, they came to watch Iwaizumi Hajime and perhaps catch a whiff of that musky scent. He's thick though so he doesn't notice.

Summary: I don't think these high schoolers would go without some sort of artificial scent, with some exceptions of course. Let's just appreciate the ones that don't use Axe spray. If I wanted my nose hairs gone, I'd wax them.

Thank you for listening. Feel free to add on.

[godoflobsters]

The Brothers and Dateables With a Tattoo Artist MC

My own MC was a tattoo artist before she came to the Devildom, so I thought I’d write up some head cannons with a tattoo artist MC.

MC is gender neutral!

Mammon

Nobody can convince me that the “Brothers Under a Pact” squad wouldn't be the first ones to get tattoos from MC, and Mammon would definitely be the first

Definitely likes to brag about it too

Don't remind him that there are countless people in the human realm that you tattooed before him or he will pout

People tend to think that Mammon is cheap and would try to talk you into giving him free or cheap tattoos, but he couldn't stand to be like that towards you especially regarding something that you’re so good at

Our first man works his butt off every time he wants to get some new ink from you

Likes to give you a big ole tip every time

Gets fidgety when he has to sit still for too long so you two have to take breaks often

Prefers small/medium sized tattoos rather than really big ones

One time after he started getting tattoos from you, he was at a modeling gig and they tried to make him cover them up with makeup, he quit and that magazine went bankrupt not too long after...dont fuck with the avatar of greed

Once your shop starts taking off in the Devildom, he and Asmo try to convince you to do a shoot for Majolish(They definitely didn't pull some strings to get Majolish to do a whole segment about you and your business)

Beelzebub

The second brother to get a tattoo from MC

Refuses to get any food related tattoos: he doesn't want to accidentally take a chunk out of himself when he gets blinded by his hunger

This man has a very high pain tolerance and sits like a rock while you're tattooing him and you love him for it

He definitely needs snack breaks during longer sessions though

Has a memorial tattoo for Lillith over his heart that matches with one on Belphie

While making this list I was randomly blessed with the mental image of Beel with abuncha old school American traditional tattoos and you can pry that headcannon from my cold, dead hands

Mammon likes to brag that he has the most tattoos from you, but Beel might give him a run for his money, he doesn't mind Mammon’s bragging most of the time though, so he just lets him believe whatever he wants this time

Simeon

But Simeon has never been all that great at following the rules that they set for him

The first of the dateables to get a tattoo

He wasn't actually planning on getting a tattoo at first, but one day he overheard Luke trying to scold you for all of your tattoos(definitely before the incident with Beel and Lucifer in the underground tomb) and that was the only push he needed to jump on the “tattoos from MC” train

There is a lot of rhetoric in the Celestial Realm about how “Your body is a temple and you should not mark it”

He’s still not willing to stray too far from his roots though, so he’d probably get something with vaguely religious undertones

Absolutely delights in the shocked look on your face and the sheepish questions on whether angels are allowed to do this

Once he’s finally convinced you that you're not damning him to fall by tattooing him, the process goes by very easily

He is very easygoing and open regarding designs and he handles the pain very well

He absolutely loves to show his tattoo off, even when he goes home to the Celestial Realm and receives his reprimands from Michael

Leviathan

The third brother to get a tattoo from MC

Didn't want to get a tattoo at first, all of that physical contact and pain on top of it? No way

But then Mammon, Beel, and even Simeon all got one and he got jealous

You're HIS Henry, why are THEY the ones who get to wear your art? He might’ve been able to deal with his dumb brothers, but SIMEON TOO?

You gotta sit down with him and have a nice long chat about it, making sure this is something that he would actually want to do and not just his envy talking

Spoiler alert: It was definitely just his envy talking

He realises that he is actually oddly attached to the idea of getting a tattoo from you now though, so he comes up with designs and draws them on himself until he is certain that he won't regret it

Would get something tiny and probably gaming related

Definitely very squeamish about the pain aspect but the design that the two of you came up with is very simple and small, so he is able to make it through without fainting

He absolutely loves his new tattoo...but he is never doing that again

Belphegor

Fourth brother to get a tattoo

Has wanted to get one ever since Beel showed him the tattoo he got in memory of Lillith, but things were very...not good...between the two of you at that point

Finally worked up the courage to at least ask if you would be okay with it after the two of you made a pact

Beel, forgetting his super high pain tolerance, told him that it getting a tattoo doesn't hurt at all, so he was in for a big surprise when he went under the needle for the first time

Whiny at first, but he manages to stay very still for you

Has a memorial tattoo for Lilith over his heart that matches with one on Beel

Will definitely start to doze off during long sessions

Convinced Satan to get a matching Anti Lucifer League tattoo with him(definitely doesn't try to convince you to get one too)

Make sure that he does not, under any circumstances, actually fall asleep while you're tattooing him. He did once and he rolled over in his sleep, almost ruining an entire tattoo

Ever since that time, Beel has come with him to his sessions so you could focus on your work and he can focus on keeping Belphie awake

Satan

Gets his tattoo not long after Belphie

One of those people that think every tattoo needs to mean something so he takes forever trying to pick out something that he wants

Would probably get some sort of quote or design inspired by his favorite book, something that really resonated with who he is as a person

Was somehow convinced by Belphie to get an Anti Lucifer League tattoo

Does he regret it whenever he realizes that he now has a portion of his skin dedicated to Lucifer of all people? Possibly, but he definitely won't say anything about it to you

Loves to look at you and just admire your tattoos, asking the stories behind each and every one of them that he can see

He might be a bigger fan of literature than the fine arts, but that doesn't mean that he has any less of an appreciation for your work

Definitely pulls some strings and gets one of his friends who owns an art gallery to display some of your work there

Can set you up with all the connections that you need to make your mark on the Devildom art world

Lucifer

The last of the brothers to get a tattoo

In the beginning he has no intentions of getting a tattoo, he does have alot of respect for your talents and how hard you work for them though

As an art lover and artist himself, he will most certainly commission you from time to time and hang your work in his study

He won't admit it, but seeing your art and thinking of you when he's stressed with work is very soothing

He eventually decides to let you tattoo him only if it’s in a place that is easily covered by his clothes, considering how he dresses that leaves you with pretty much his entire body to work with

Sometimes when he has some time off he will grab a sketchbook and join you if he finds you in the common room working on a design, you share a comfortable silence, with the only sounds be the crackling of the fireplace and the scratching of pencils on paper

The kind of person that wants a tattoo but has no idea what he actually wants, but hes picky as fuck so he will turn down every single idea that you give him for weeks

He is lucky that you love him

Whenever you two talk about placements, if you mention anything on his back to cover up the scars from his wings he will almost back out entirely

Almost

Afew months later he’ll put his pride aside come back, admitting that your ideas would be perfect and that he wants to go through with it

During the session he has way too much pride to admit that he was feeling any pain

That is until you have to start going over the scars

As soon as the needles hit scar tissue he starts to fall apart; tears, shaking, the whole nine yards

It takes you quite a few sessions to finish since he cant handle such long sessions on that portion of his back

The summer after his new back piece is finished, he goes with you and his brothers back to Diavolo’s beach, this time he takes his shirt off in front of everyone for the first time since the fall

He wears your art with such pride that he lets everyone keep the memory, he even lets Asmo keep the pictures he took of all of them up on Devilgram

Diavolo

Wanted to be the first to get a tattoo but Barbatos said no

If you want to continue your career in the Devildom for the duration of your stay, he will buy you a building to work from and any supplies to get started since you had to leave your stuff in the human realm

Diavolo has rooms in the castle filled with the art that he's collected over the years, so when he sees that you're an artist he gets so excited

Before he finally gets tattooed by you, he buys a lot of your artwork and hangs it up around the castle

It takes a few years to propose the idea again to Barbatos in a way that wont make the butler’s hair fall out from stress, but he finally relented under one condition: it has to be in an area that is still hidden while he’s in his demon form

He decides that his legs would be the perfect place to indulge in your artistic talents while also keeping Barbatos’s controlling side at bay

Hes another one that knows he wants a tattoo but no clue what he wants to get

Unlike Lucifer though, he is a true open canvas

He truly adores your art so he wholeheartedly trusts you with his body and knows that he will love anything that you do for him

He knows that this is most likely very nerve wracking for you considering his position so he tries to reassure you and make the process very easy for you

You still put everything into designing him something fit for a king

He’s the type to prefer large pieces that span over entire sections of his body rather than abuncha small/medium sized ones

Another fidgetter, he’s really not all that accustomed to pain so he doesn't have a high tolerance for it

Likes to treat you to dinner at Ristorante Six after each of his sessions

Tips like the absolute king he is, you could probably pay a couple months of rent back at your apartment in the Human Realm just from his tip

Once his tattoo is finally finished and healed, he will find every excuse that he can think of to invite you and the brothers on outings to places where he is free from scrutiny to wear shorts and show off your artwork

Barbatos

The last of all of the boys to get a tattoo

It was a complete shock to everyone when he came to you and asked if he could make an appointment to get tattooed by you

“Everyone” being you, Diavolo, and Lucifer because nobody else knows that it happened and he would like to keep it that way

Another member of the “I’ll get one as long as it’s somewhere nobody will see” club...so basically not his face

Before the two of you get to talking about designs, you expect him to go with something small and simple, maybe an elegant little teapot or something along those lines

Then this man comes to his consultation and throws you for a loop talking about a sleeve

Very picky, he has high standards for himself and what's on his body

Knows exactly what he wants but does his best not to stifle your creativity during the design process

You learn ALOT about just who lurks behind Barbatos’s mild-mannered butler facade during his sessions, he’s surprisingly upfront and honest whenever you have him under the needle

Solomon

Can't get a tattoo

This man has pact marks for 72 demons all over his body, there is simply no more room

Any open space he has is being saved just in case any other demons *cough* Lucifer *cough* ever decide to come around to making a pact

Collects your flash and hangs it up around his room

If you take Diavolo up on his offer to set up a shop in the Devildom, he will make sure to tell all of his pact-mates about you, hype up your work, and get you a lot of business in the door

Sometimes he will commission art from you and use magic to make your art temporarily appear on his skin over the pact marks

Once you become a sorcerer and have a better grasp on your magic, he helps you experiment in creating magical inks and enchanting tattoos

Asmodeus

The only one that actually doesn't want to get a tattoo

He doesnt think that tattoos would fit in very well to the image that he has for himself

And not being able to show off every inch of his beautiful skin while its healing is a no from him

Since he likes to test out his new makeup and skincare products on you, sometimes after he has had his way with your face he will let you draw on him with skin safe markers

would definitely be a wimp about the pain

Will spam pictures to his Devilgram of his fancy new temporary tattoos and you drawing on him

Will definitely try to bring you some of his flings to get his name tattooed on them, you will have to reprimand him every single time and eventually he will stop

If you're not the type to keep up with social media, he’ll offer to keep up a Devilgram account for your shop

If you're ever attempting to draw and you have a very specific pose in your head that you can't find a reference for, he will not hesitate to get up and start posing for you

Luke

He is baby and cant have any tattoos until he's older

His mind frequently bounces back and forth between the whole “your body is a temple” rhetoric that he was taught growing up and “wow that's so cool!”

After Simeon got his tattoo Luke became a lot more enthusiastic and curious about your job though

Will occasionally ask if he can have one of your flash sheets so he can color your pictures

These very often end up on the fridge in Purgatory Hall

Sometimes they even make their way to the fridge in the House of Lamentation too

Will this make the brothers jealous? Yes. Do you care? No.

Luke loves you and looks up to you so much that he goes through a little phase of wanting to copy you, yourself and the entirety of Purgatory Hall can expect loads of temporary marker tattoos

[thefanficmonster]

Know No Better

Streamer Gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, HUMOR, Crack, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A game of Among Us with this gang can never go without a halt for some spit-fire accusations and bickering, but throw their mutual friend Y/N in the mix and the chaos flares up twice as intensely.

Requested by my dear friend @thelittleplantlover  Hi darling! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and never shying away from giving me your full honest feedback. You are an amazing person, a lovely friend and a mutual I’m glad I gained on my Tumblr journey. Love you with all my heart, Vy 💕

“Yo, sorry I’m....late“ Charlie’s eyebrow raises as soon as he enters the Discord call, almost half an hour after the scheduled time due to difficulties with his wi-fi connection. However, neither his presence nor his apology are acknowledged, seeing as how he wasn’t even heard over all the shouting going on in the call. “Um, what’s going on here?“ He asks no one in particular, aware that he probably won’t get an answer. 

Surprisingly, though, someone does answer him - Sykkuno. “Hey Charlie, welcome. You missed a whole round and a whole debacle between...” The yelling voices give a clear idea of who this debacle is happening between: Rae, Corpse and Y/N. “Yeah, you can probably tell between who.”

“Yo, is that Y/N? Dude, I haven’t heard from you in so long where’ve you been?“ Charlie exclaims, eyebrows raising in delighted surprise, “What are you arguing about? Imma argue with you.“

“You don’t even know what we’re arguing about!“ Rae snaps, scaring the ever-loving daylight out of the newcomer that all but shrinks a bit in his seat, “These are matters the three of us have to deal with!“

You see, Charlie’s not one to press his luck - definitely not when the sweetheart Rae lashes out like that, reminding him that the impossible can be possible if you’re a strong enough believer - but right now, seeing as how he isn’t playing yet, he’s thirsty for some amusement even if it comes with the price of being verbally beat and battered by the currently bickering trio.

“God bless the day you three actually manage to deal with something by yourselves.“ He snickers, half-hoping Rae wouldn’t hear him. Actually, it’s more one third hoping she wouldn’t the other two suggesting otherwise. Adding gasoline to the fire - it’s basically in his resume at this point.

The reply he receives is not even oriented around his statement and it doesn’t come from Rae - whether that be a blessing or a curse - but rather from Y/N. “Charlie, help! Corpse and I are being wrongfully accused over here!“

“There’s nothing wrong about my accusations! I heard you bribing Corpse into vouching for you, you impostor!“ Rae spits out the word as though this argument is a real deal and not just them throwing a collective tantrum as they usually tend to do.

“He asked me for immunity in exchange for keeping his mouth shut! I never offered it to him!“ Y/N argues back, “Not my fault he’s a corrupt crewmate!“

“You were about to accept the offer though! Who does that?!“ Rae’s not giving up her ground either.

“Anyone! All of you know you would’ve accepted the offer had you been the one to be proposed it!“ Y/N whines, reminding themself and everyone else that they are not a very argumentative or confrontational. The only time they can be caught butting heads with people is as a joke, among this very group of people and over something as small as a bribery in Among Us. “And why is no one going off at Corpse for this? Why am I the villain here? Um, hello?! I’m an impostor, I’m supposed to be evil. One of your own betrayed you, and I’M your biggest problem?!”

“I’d like it if you didn’t get me involved...“ Corpse inquires shyly, as though fearing he too is in for an outburst from Rae if he dares oppose hers and Y/N’s statements.

Unfortunately for him, he’s attacked by their joined forces with a: “YOU STARTED THIS!” Shouted at him in unison. Just like Charlie, he too shrinks in his seat.

“Hey Toast.“ Charlie nudges one of his friends, one he hasn’t heard from for the entirety of his short time in the Discord call, “You there?“

“Sup man?“ Toast answers, unmuting his mic for the first time after approximately ten minutes of silence on his end due to this heated debate going on.

“Ten bucks says this goes on for another ten minutes.“ Charlie says nonchalantly, already planning the cheap dinner he’s gonna order with those ten bucks.

“Nah man, fifteen for fifteen minutes. These two have no chill.“ Toast says, taking a sip of his soda.

“You’re both wrong.“ Sykkuno interferes, “I’m putting in twenty for twenty and I’m starting a timer.“

“WHAT?!“

The three men sit there paralyzed now that the two sides of the battlefield have temporarily united once again to end them. Lord knows when Y/N and Rae unite, nothing good is in store for those who they’re up against.

“N-nothing...I was just announcing that...“ Charlie starts off, strategically reaching for the plug for his router, “...my wi-fi’s gonna disconnect in three, two...“

“DON’T YOU DARE!“

And WHOOP he’s gone. And so are Toast, Sykkuno and Corpse.

“I really can’t believe them sometimes.“ Rae grumbles under her breath finding the miserable number of remaining players once again gathered in the cafeteria after no one got voted out despite everyone knowing it’s Y/N.

“And here I thought Charlie would back me up.“ Y/N sighs disappointedly, shooting a brief look at their chat, “Hell if I ever trust him again.“

“Look at the bright side though!“ their friend, moments ago opponent, hurries to comfort them as though their argument never happened. Technically, it really didn’t. “He’s at least not gonna get those ten bucks he sounded so confident in getting.“

Knowing Charlie, losing a bet will most likely leave him feeling torn, but hey, much to his comfort, he was the closest in guessing the duration of the arguing. You win some and you lose some, this time he’s done neither. But he will get an earful from Y/N at the first given chance they get, which he’s grown used to over the years, being the one knowing them the longest. What he’s still trying to get used to is how much they’ve clicked with his friend group. Never did he imagine his socially awkward and shy friend would steal all his friends and literally wrap them around their little finger. Truth be told, amazement aside, he’s quite proud of them for it.

Yes, of course he’s gonna try bringing this up when they open fire on him as an attempt to calm them down. Yes, he knows it probably won’t work. But also: yes, he knows what will. Cause that’s what best friends do - they know. However, they should also know better than to bet on their friends.

 But come on, it’s Charlie and Y/N we’re talking about over here - neither of them know any better. Hell, no one in this gang knows better. That’s what makes them so uniquely and wonderfully chaotic. 

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[storysims]

COTTAGE LIVING - OVERSIZED CROPS OVERVIEW 🍆

If size matters, we’re all in luck because these veggies get BIG.

I was provided with an alpha version of Cottage Living via the EA Game Changers program. All gameplay capture shown is not final and may be subject to change before the pack’s release.

Fresh out of CAS, growing oversized crops can be a bit of a tedious and expensive undertaking. Unlike other plants that can be placed straight into the ground to grow, giant crops will require their own specific garden plot. The game offers two alternatives (raised bed or flat) for §10 each. 

Normal crops can also be grown in these plots - however, much like the traditional planter boxes, there’s a limit of four plants to a plot. 

From these plots, sims are able to make a few different purchases. First and foremost, they’ll want to buy some jars of oversized crop seeds! 

aubergines / §15

lettuce / §10

mushrooms / §15

pumpkins / §20

watermelons / §25

(For players with Seasons installed, there are no seasonal requirements for oversized crops.)

If your sim is on a budget or even just cheap, this will be all they need to start growing. But without spending some extra simoleons, it’s unlikely they’ll be able to produce high quality, oversized crops. That’s where fertilizer comes in!

The wildlife in Henford-on-Bagley is more than happy to help out, so you may find a few special ways to fertilize your prized plants. 👀 

Even at the height of the gardening skill, only two fertilizers will be available to purchase from clicking on a plot.

Hassle Free Fertilizer - this fertilizer was built for the busy crop gardener who just needs more time. this formula is scientifically guaranteed to stop weed growth and keep bugs away! Simply sprinkle this fertilizer over your crops once every few days and remember to water your plants.

Vitality Fertilizer - is your crop plant looking sickly, or does its fruit need a little help reaching higher quality? look no further! sprinkle this fertilizer over your field once a day for a nice boost to the health of your plant and the quality of its yield.

Thankfully, there’s more available! My sim received fertilizers from cleaning the chicken coop, cleaning the cow + llama barns, shopping at the garden stall, and even running errands around town. 

Minor Growth Fertilizer - when your crop size needs a modest boost, look no further than this fertilizer. a daily dose can help encourage larger crops, or at least put a little extra heft on existing crops.

Grow-Fast Fertilizer - for when crops need growing fast. a daily dose of this fertilizer will accelerate any crop through its life cycle and ready for harvest in time for that competition! 

Hyper Growth Fertilizer - the finest formula of crop growth fertilizers. a daily dose of this stuff will put rocket boosters on your plant’s size, or at the very least kick the crop’s weight into overdrive!

Super Vitality Fertilizer - are you looking to supercharge the health of your crop? sprinkle a daily dose of this fertilizer to make sure your plant is as healthy as possible and yields the highest quality crops.

With plants in the ground, all that’s left to do is wait! Your sim can pass the time by taking selfies with the plants (once they’re big enough!), giving them encouragement to grow, or telling them some truly spectacular puns. My personal favorite - urge to romaine calm. 🤡 

Sometime on their third or fourth day, the little sprouts will finally become recognizable - and even better, you’ll know just how many giant crops you’ll be getting!

Despite the name, there are three different sizes when growing - small, medium, and oversized.  As they mature, the number of plants in each plot will reflect the number of harvestable crops. Plots with one crop will be oversized, two crops will be medium sized, etc.

In a poor attempt to determine the potency of fertilizers, I decided to run a test. My sim purchased four garden plots, and then planted two plots of lettuce and two plots of aubergines. 

Because I wanted some big beefy 🍆, the two plots of aubergines received the absolute best care I could provide - top tier daily fertilizer and lots of encouragement. One plot of lettuce was given a single dose of fertilizer and the other was left alone, minus the routine watering. 

(I did have some bunnies on the lot helping out! I’m assuming this also impacted the results, but I’m just not sure).

At the end of a week, my sim spent a total of §1,150 on plots, seeds, and fertilizer. If she sold her produce, she would have received §2,384 - making a profit of §1,234! But more importantly, I was left with some pretty vital information - fertilize your crops.

One medium head of unfertilized (but still perfect quality!) lettuce sold for §132, while the oversized lettuce sold for significantly more - §600!

Keeping in mind that this oversized lettuce only received one dose of §50 fertilizer, it definitely pays off to spend a little!

So you’ve got a garden full of comically large vegetables - what now?

Obviously, as shown above, it does pay well to sell them. But if your sim is living on a lot with the new ‘Simple Living’ lot challenge active, it might just be better to keep them!

In either case, there’s a lot to be done with oversized crops. And here’s where the phrase ‘just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’ comes into play. 

Cooking meals with oversized crops is a waste of time and money.

Much like cooking with normal produce, oversized crops will take the place of an ingredient and give you a discount on the price of the meal. Here’s the catch - that §600 lettuce my sim grew can, and will if you’re not paying attention, be used to make a single serving garden salad worth §3.

Like I said at the beginning - I am playing an alpha version of the game, so changes could be made before release. I would love to see this be one of them. 

Thankfully, you can now preserve all those fruits and veggies with canning! While I hate the way cooking with oversized crops was implemented, I absolutely adore the canning system - especially with oversized produce.

While other smaller, inferior produce items can produce two to three jars of conserve (in my experience), my oversized lettuce gave me twelve jars!

Since we’ve already run the numbers on my freakishly large lettuce, let’s run them again. A §600 head of giant lettuce was condensed down and preserved in twelve jars, each valued at §60. Those twelve jars could be used to make more salads, sure. But they can also be sold for a total of §720 - leaving my sim with a §120 profit! 

If you don’t feel like canning, cooking, or selling your crops, for some reason you’re able to turn them into decorations!

Don’t worry, apparently they’re fireproof. 🔥

[riathedreamer]

You asked for it: live thoughts from Ria and @creatrixanimi​ watching RvB Zero.

So, after having a movie night the day before (third movie night in a week, actually, we are very productive) watching Neil Breen movies and “Cool Cat”, it was now time to touch upon Zero. Sadly, Zero does not belong in the “so bad it’s good” category, but alas, Ria had to spoil Haley’s innocence.

This is not a proper edited review, but just snippets of our live reaction while watching the thing together. We are not drunk, but this continued way past midnight for Ria, so maybe her brain isn’t fully functioning. Also, Ria is a potty mouth because cursing is easy when it’s not your native language. Enjoy.

Episode 1:

Ria: I can’t figure out if they were trying to do a Grif and Simmons parallel with those two random guards talking outside, the ones with the Wash retconning.

Haley: Their armor doesn’t cover their noses. 

Ria: That’s gotta be cold. Frostbitten noses.

...

Haley: There is no exposition. Like, it feels like the writers had their idea and know what is going on, but we don’t so it just feels weird and random. It feels like a Marvel movie.

Ria: Is that a compliment? I haven’t watched Marvel.

Haley: Not a good one.

 ...

Ria: This episode isn’t that bad in itself. But it’s just there to establish that the OG characters can’t beat this new villain, but the new guys can, and, urgh.

 ...

Episode 2:

[The shot focuses on One’s behind.]

Ria’s dirty mind: Ass.

 ...

Ria: STOP CALLING HIM DAVID.

...

Ria: I like this character, but I don’t remember his name.

Haley: Raymond.

Ria: This is why we need a name system like with the Freelancers and states. Should’ve just been numbers all the way through. Except Eleven, you fucking whore.

 ...

Haley at the sight of Raymond’s phone: It’s so big.

Ria: It’s the future. I can believe it.

 ...

Ria: Here’s the thing driving me crazy. Axel is a normal name in Denmark. But like, only old people use it. I know two Axels and they are both older than eighty. So that’s when I think of when I see Axel.

 ...

[After the whole training montage where we are introduced to the characters, we are still confused.]

Ria: I can’t remember their names.

Haley: Well, they didn’t show all of them. They didn’t show One.

Ria: They did!

Haley: They did?

Ria: Wow. So we got all that tell and no show, and we are still confused.

 ...

Haley: When it comes to genre, it’s actually not that bad with the narrated tell and don’t show. If it wanted to be a cheesy/bad action movie, that’s a trope that’s used relatively frequently in the genre. It’s a bad action movie. But it’s not RvB. It’s kinda like a particularly bad Marvel movie.

Ria: You’re really not selling me on the Marvel movies tonight.

 ...

Ria: I know I’m just a sucker for Joe, but I keep thinking of s15. Like, here they just use the files as a cheap way to introduce the characters. But like, in s15, Dylan just read out loud Grif’s file, and it was not to introduce him, but like, to show the complexity of the characters and go against the files? I don’t know, it just seems way cooler now.

 ...

[After the whole “what’s East’s deal” scene, we were so confused. Literally paused for five minutes trying to figure who was whose dad and why and what. How many daughters did Axel have? And where are they? We were just lost. Future Haley: Him waxing poetic about his daughters while watching the two girls in his team train confused me like I thought he was talking about East and One and couldn’t count sdfghjk. Future Ria: I’d even watched the show before and I was still confused.]

Ria: I can’t figure out if they’re too fast or if we’re just stupid.

Haley: It’s like I’m trying to remember the details but it all slips through my fingers.

Ria: The whole Zero experience is to feel too old for this shit.

 ...

Ria: STOP FUCKING CALLING HIM DAVID

 ...

One: This is how it’s done, grandma.

Ria: Fuck you.

 ...

Episode 3:

Haley: People would like it if they love dumb action shows. It works as a mindless action show.

 ...

Haley: So this is a temple?

Ria: I hate the worldbuilding. Is this the same planet as before? Like, Chorus had temples, but it also had lore about it. Is this the same sort of temples?

Haley: So shouldn’t this temple have its own key? Why do they need to include Tucker? It makes no sense for the temple to require a totally different sword from a different planet.

Ria: So they could beat him up ‘cause OG characters are weak now.

 ...

Haley: I don’t like the training scenes. They are so long and boring.

Ria: This is like the third episode where they are training. Holy shit.

 ...

Haley: It’s not that bad. But if you like Red vs. Blue, it’s not something for you. They aren’t really comparable.

Ria: I just don’t understand what they wanted to continue for Red vs. Blue. Like, it’s not the worldbuilding or the plot or the characters. I just don’t get it.

 ...

Haley: Raymond is the best character.

Ria: I like Raymond.

Haley: He’s RvB. He should be the main character.

 ...

Ria: Did East just use the “I’m not like the other (girls)” line?

Haley: I don’t like her. She’s a brat. Why did Carolina have to apologize? They were just training, this is something she’s gonna have to deal with on a daily basis lmao.

Ria: Didn’t Carolina have a cast on her arm? It’s gone now. I can’t keep up with the timeline. So, she’s healed, but how long was Wash gone? They are so vague about everything. Worldbuilding, timeline, motivations.

 ...

Ria: …Did Carolina just say she’d suit up? While wearing a full armor suit?

 ...

[And this is where the cursed part takes place. To talk, we’d often pause the thing. Here, I randomly paused during the introduction for Starlight Laboratories. There’s a desk in the shot. With a fucking marker on it.]

Haley: That’s a Crayola marker. That’s a Crayola marker on the table.

Ria: Glad we can appreciate the details by pausing.

[Haley then missed the entire Axel flashback scene because she was too busy looking up pictures of Crayola markers. When this is revealed, Ria lost it for like, three minutes]

Haley: I had that marker as a kid. 

Ria: So 4/5 stars for the marker?

Haley: They were supposed to smell like blueberries or something but they just smelled like chemicals.

Ria: This is the most excited we’ve been about Zero so far.

[Future Haley: I was literally laugh-crying you dont understand. This was the best part of the show.]

...

Episode 4:

Ria: They all have super powers. It’s so weird.

Haley: I keep thinking they are gonna explain stuff. But they don’t. So I’m just confused.

 ...

[Haley has now brought forth all the markers in her room to find a Crayola one. She drops them all on the floor. Ria loses it again.] [Future Haley update: I found a yellow one it smells like lemons :)]

 ...

Ria: They are all glowing and have super powers. It’s weird. Like, I know we had super powered armor before but that was all connected to AIs. I don’t get how all of this works. They don’t have AIs.

 ...

[We both agree that we enjoy Raymond and Tiny. Bless them.]

 ...

Ria: It’s weird. The dialogue is so oblivious, it comments on its own mistakes. Like, Carolina just acknowledged Wash has had a computer in his head before. But they don’t acknowledge the whole canonical lore about his trauma regarding computers in his head and why he’d hate this. Same with the name David. They just noticed that it’s his first name and that’s how they’d show how close Carolina is with him, but they didn’t acknowledge the canon lore that Wash dislikes people using his first name.

 ...

Episode 5:

Haley: Why didn’t they use Locus’ sword instead. It’d make more sense. He’s the one travelling around planets and wanting to help people?? 

Ria: What’s the worldbuilding here? Is Tucker on the same planet? Is this Earth? Chorus?

 ...

Haley: Gotta love it when they make Tucker hit on teenagers.

Ria: Oh god why did they make East 18.

 ...

Haley: They should have done something with the Warthog song, even if that’s a Red Team thing.

Ria: I miss Red Team.

 ...

Ria: Wait, so if these three swords are connected, why can the two first ones move by themselves and they have like super powers connected to them? When Tucker’s sword is just boring? They didn’t even make a joke about how the two new swords are longer than Tucker’s.

 ...

Tucker: I’m fine, I have my sword.

Ria: That line is so tragic in hindsight.

 ...

One: It’s Tucker. He is dead.

Carolina: Oh my god.

Haley: *laughs her ass off*

 ...

Haley: I don’t understand why anyone is doing anything.

Ria: Your brain is still thinking about that fucking marker.

 ...

Episode 6:

Ria: The dialogue did it again! Wash just said “amazing medical tech”. Like, he points out a plot hole. Because that amazing tech can heal brain injuries and bring people back from death, but East had to be tortured for years to heal her vague illness? Like, why couldn’t their amazing tech fix that.

 ...

[While watching the design of the temple.]

Ria: It looks like those are just plates glued to the wall. Dinner is served.

 ...

Haley: There is no logical reason why they brought in Tucker. His sword isn’t even from this planet.

Ria: To lure in fans.

 ...

Haley in a very sad voice: The speech wasn’t good.

 ...

Episode 7:

Ria: Is all of this happening on the same planet? They keep driving. The worldbuilding is so weird. At least earlier RvB made a joke about how they could just drive everywhere. This is like a big desert, a training base, laboratory, city and temples and Tucker’s workplace, and I don’t know if it’s even on the same planet.

 ...

Ria: Diesel is just standing there waiting while they outfit Carolina.

Haley: It’s like a video game.

 ...

Ria: The temple’s walls are filled with runes.

Haley: It feels like a free/bought asset. It doesn’t even look like the temples on Chorus. It looks like something in WoW or something like that.

Ria: It’s driving me mad. I can read runes! Imagine a big boss fight and the freaking alphabet is plastered on the walls. That’s what I’m looking at.

 ...

Haley: Zero is such a boring villain. It’s not interesting when we don’t know what this “power” actually is or what he wants to do with it.

 ...

Ria: That’s the helmet Spencer wore.

Haley: Oh god I forgot about him.

Ria: So did the writers.

Haley: Spencer should have been the real villain.

 ...

Haley: *sees the random model of the temple guardian alien* I miss Santa.

 ...

Episode 8:

Ria: The aliens are just dancing in the background while Carolina is fighting Diesel.

Haley laughing: Oh my god, they are. They are just jumping up and down.

 ...

Ria: So, the villain just turned overpowered, and the solution is that Raymond just flicks a switch we haven’t heard about and now the heroes are overpowered too?

Haley: It just makes them shiny. And like... they don’t even use the “power”, they don’t fight him with their powers which only some of them have, they just shoot their ordinary guns at him while doing unnecessary flips.

Ria: I just remembered Church’s dick switch. That had more dramatic buildup.

 ...

Axel: You’re too cocky for that.

Ria’s dirty brain: Cock.

 ...

Post Zero thoughts:

[Ria returns from bathroom break and Haley is proudly showing off her marker over video cam.]

Haley: There was too much going on so I just focused on the marker.

Ria: So how many stars would you give it?

Haley: It’s really bad.

Ria: How many stars for marker representation?

Haley: Three out of five. It was only there for a second.

 ...

Haley: In the beginning, it wasn’t that bad. It was dumb, but also fun and sorta cool. But then it just went on for too long and they didn’t explain anything properly and it stopped being fun really fast. But I can see why some people might enjoy it. Like, you’d love it for its action but only that. Not for plot and/or the character writing.

Ria: I think my biggest problem is the worldbuilding. They kept everything so vague because they didn’t want to connect, not really. Like, where is this happening? When? Why are Carolina and Wash there? Like, the motivations for all the characters were so vague as well.

 ...

Haley: Raymond was great. He had personality and some good lines. And he felt like RvB. Like, he used his brain and actually got shit done, but he also wasn’t over-powered. He followed a similar character arc to what the Reds and Blues had. He sucks at fighting but he’s efficient and smart in a practical way with his rocket launcher. He does the most and he doesn’t stop being a goofball! Even Zero was focused on stopping him the most at the end. And he didn’t need to do any stupid flips.

 ...

Haley: The borrowed assets annoyed me. It ended up looking stupid, like, the temple felt more like fantasy than science fiction. And nothing like Chorus. And normally, RvB doesn’t have to worry about being cohesive because all of the designs are from Halo so it all makes sense and it’s connected. But this is just so random it feels distracting, I feel like this is a big reason people felt that Zero was so jarring… but on a subconscious level. It just felt off and there was no cohesive design. Also everything looked like it was made for video games and not modified at all for the show.

 ...

Haley: Honestly I was optimistic at first but then I got confused really fast and it kept getting worse because it was so fast. They didn’t explain stuff properly or at all. Like, they made it too big. Should have been smaller. I thought going with the “Starlight Labs is evil and needs to go down” plot would have been A LOT better and would have tied together multiple aspects of the story that the temple plot didn’t.

Ria: If I had the power which I don’t, I dunno, but I if the main point was to introduce new characters, I’d keep them tied to lore and worldbuilding we already know. So we don’t get so confused and it doesn’t feel so disconnected. Like, I’m still in love with the idea that it should have been Carolina on Chorus dealing with these soldiers who have been fighting all their lives and now don’t have to do that anymore. But maybe Chorus still needing an army, and that’s why she is training it. I don’t know, but like, familiar, build on what we know. And then they wouldn’t be superpowered, but like, just competent-ish but normal soldiers and we’d get to know them better, but I just think Zero just wanted them to be these super cool soldiers even better than Carolina so they could pull off all the fight scenes. ‘Cause it’s all Zero has going for it. The fight scenes. It’s its strength and weakness ‘cause they sacrificed everything else to look cool. And it does. But it’s boring and there is nothing else going on.

 ...

Ria: I’m still so annoyed about the temples. Why are they there? Like, on Chorus it was a big thing, also plotwise, but it had lore connected to it and the worldbuilding explained it. So, where are these temples? A different planet, right? Is it the same aliens? Are people just cool with the temples? Why haven’t they been explored before. Chorus made sure to explain all of that.

 ...

Haley: The West and East scene-

Ria: Feast.

Haley: Confused me. ‘cause West didn’t really regret anything. He just said why he did it. And then all of the sudden East forgave him and rejoined the team. It was so weird. He doubled down on the thing she hated him for so much I was like “Wow he’s kinda an asshole” and then all of a sudden she was on his side? What?

 ...

Haley: Zero does its job if you want action and nothing else. And it’s not RvB. Don’t watch it if you like RvB. And I just want to acknowledge that we are nitpicking. Quite a bit. I’ll admit that. But, I wouldn’t nitpick the other RvB seasons the same way because the old RvB never took itself seriously the way Zero did.

Ria: I agree. We are nitpicking. But like, that’s why we have the movie nights.

Haley: But we are also allowed to criticize it. You can do that with any season. And with the other seasons, you could nitpick it and you can find stuff you don’t like, but there are always stuff you do like or that other people like. I just can’t find anything about Zero that I like. Besides Raymond.

Ria: Yeah. Like, I really love 15. And it had so many flaws people pointed out. And when it comes to criticism and Zero, I just don’t see many points about why people like it. They are allowed to do that though. But, like, we could have a movie night where we watch the Chorus seasons and we’d nitpick so much because we both have issues with it, but there is still so much stuff we’d still like.

Haley: I like Raymond though. He’s like Grimmons lovechild.

Ria: No. Fuck you. Don’t put that in my brain.

 ...

Haley: Raymond being in this… I want to say it feels like the Freelancers seasons but if Grif was part of the team or something. But that’s just “Hit and Run”. *laughs*

Ria: NO! That’s cursed. Shut up. Also, the Freelancers were way better written.

Haley: And those seasons made better sense.

Ria: And like, the Freelancer seasons did the thing with change of tone and have these new and super cool characters and fight scenes. But they kept half of the seasons to be around the Reds and Blues so we still had the humor and the dumbasses, and Zero just, it didn’t connect.

 ...

Haley: So, I have some thoughts on Zero.

Ria: I know, you fuck, I had to write them all down by hand.

Haley: I like bad movies, actually, but Zero didn’t stay fun, so no, I didn’t enjoy it.

 ...

Ria: Do you forgive me for making you watch Zero?

Haley: Yeah.

Ria: What should we watch next?

...

Also, Haley dressed up her dog for the event and you all deserve to see her:

[popculturebuffet]

Scottrospective: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together! or Days of Summer

Hello all you happy scottaholics! Welcome back to those of you who’ve read the rest of this retrospective and welcome to those of you just joining us. This is the Scottrospective, my look at all 6 volumes of Scott Pilgrim, the game and the movie. It’s all the video game refrenes, slice of life story telling and boob punches you can handle!

It’s been three months since I left off with “The Infinite Sadness” , and while I intended to cover this one for Valentine’s Day, my schedule got away from me and with March being full up, this ended taking till April

I”m not too put off by it though as the hiatus between these two reviews is fitting for this one both in story and out. In story there’s a couple month time skip between books, while out.. this book got delayed a few times.  

This is notable to me at least because this was the first volume of the series I bought when it came out. As i’ve brought up before I came into the series via the Free Comic Book Day Issue and the second and third volumes, picking one up later. I still have my original copies despite no longer really needing them thanks to having the color editions in general. Always will provided something dosne’t happen to them. So this was my first instalment that I got to read fresh and got to wait for and be hyped about and i’d saved enough money that I was able to pre-order it. So the experince of waiting and waiting for the book only to keep seeing it slide back is vivid in my mind as is the frustration I felt having the one thing I COULD NOT WAIT FOR, keep going further and further back. 

So with this long wait and the fact I bought this one when it came out, as I would for the next two which didn’t get delayed thank god, this volume naturally means a lot for me. When I wrote Scott Pilgrim fanfiction, this volume’s status quo is what I based it on. It was the coolest to me and the one I loved to reread the most. It has the most contained story, the most character growth at the time, and the best art due to Bryan’s style having finally hit it’s stride. Not that the art for volumes 1-3 is bad mind you, but it’s very clear his style was changing and shaping into what it is now with each one and while it’d change a bit more, this volume is where the style and quality everyone thinks of when they think of this series and the kind you see on various art done from it comes from. 

So as you can tell i’m excited for this one. Before we get started there WERE two shorter comics released between this one both for Free Comic Book day, the first of which, Free Scott Pilgrim, is the reason I got into the series and the second, the Wonderful World of Kim Pine .. was both delightful and sets up Kim moving in with Hollie for this volume. Originally I intended to cover these in this review.. but I realized they wouldn’t of helped the pacing and this review is going to be way longer than my standard as is.

So instead I came up with the compromise. I did review them.. but as bonus reviews on my patreon. For just one buck a month you can read them and help me reach my stretch goals which now include reviews of Lost at Sea, Seconds and SnotGirl, aka Bryan’s OTHER comics. You can find my patreon THROUGH THIS LINK HERE if your intrested in the exclusives or helping me reach my reviews. I also intend to do an exclusive of Monica Beetle, a short comic Bryan did starring Scott’s dad in the 70s at some point so keep your eyes peeled for that, as well as the three strips he did of Style, the comic that gave us the prototypes for Lisa and Kim. 

I will talk about their connections and setups for this volume briefly: FSP sets up the next ex as a ninja, with Roxy having a bunch of posters come to live and pummel our boy, while Wonderful World has Hollie tell Kim she can move in with her. It’s not much, hence why i made these exclusives but they are good stories, so check them out. And with that JOIN ME UNDER THE CUT, as we enter Scott’s world once more as he grapples with the past, employment, and saying the L-Word... which might be Lesbians. I don’t know. Find out bellow!

So we open Two Months after Volume 3 with a beach birthday party! Complete with Kim in a swim suit!

But it’s for Julie who lobs a volley ball at Scott’s head when he and Ramona try to make out. 

I also dont’ know if “Manfiesting out of all the world’s collectives sorrows” counts as a “birth” necessarily but whatever. I love a good beach story. It’s just a fun setitng for swimming, romance and battling a giant crab with the help of the bird what lives in your backpack.

So after the beach our heroes get dinner and Ramona sweetly calls Scott the nicest guy she’s ever dated. He responds with “That’s sad”. Blunt, but entirely accruate. Julie calls it pathetic and tries to counter Ramona RIGHTFULLY saying “who the hell asked you?” something that really should come after EVERYTHING Julie said with “Back off bitch i’ts my birthday”

So later that night Sex Bomb-Omb has a beach sing along, and I can’t help but notice Neil’s hairy legs. 

I mean yes it does make since for a 19 year old to have leg hair, but of all the characters besides Stephen, the ONLY other character we’ve seen it with to give it to, why the character you specifically single out as “Young” it’s just a weird choice I never noticed before. 

But anyways Julie has to whine about it because she’s Julie, she can’t stand other people being happy and complains the song...

One of my faviorite moments of the series. Knives puts a nicer spin on it, she’s here too and not over with Neil because, as we’ll find out later they broke up, but she just asks if Knives should be drinking. She shouldn’t but for fucks sake lady she was just trying to talk. I also do like that despite Julie trying to control Ramona’s love life, you know the thing the VILLIANS are doing, Ramona cannot stand her now.. and honestly probably never did. 

But Julie, SOMEHOW turns out to be right for once as Kim and Knives have disappeared later that night, and Scott elects to go look for them. Also Ramona says she wants to marry kim while drunk after Julie asks if she does. The throuple is strong with these three... serioulsy that’s my one true pairing for all three now. I mean it ballances out their collective flaws, it’s cute and Ramona is just as into her boyfriends ex as she is her actual boyfriend even when she’s not hamered. Why the fuck not?

Scott instead finds the two making out. I will confess I shipped these two when I was younger.. but I don’t. Not because their gay or anything or because I found another ship for them but because the age gap is still just as wide as it was for Scott. The game did not get this memo and made them a couple which is... ehhhhhhhhh. I mean I wouldn’t mind either being bi, but it just brings up the same problems even if their both hammered. I also question why this scene exists. No really outside of one face punchingly dickish comment from Scott later, this never comes up again and it doesn’t effect Kim’s or Knives character any. Why have this? it’s clearly not fanservice, it’s just a thing that happened. And while Scott Pilgrim as a series does have some of those, as does life and that’s fine.. this is a bit too major, i.e. Kim and Knives, two of the main cast, making out, drunkenly or not, to just.. gloss over you know? I feel Kim would feel majorly guilty for this, as she has the most active moral compass of the main group, and Knives would be massively confused but it’s just.. forgotten because I dunno. In a story that’s otherwise pretty stellar this stands out as an utter waste of potential. I’m not saying have them hook up, gay or not it’s still not better than what Scott did, but have them at least talk about it and have both grow or something from it. Sheesh. 

So we cut to.. another day. Maybe the next day I dunno but it’s August. Point is Scott and Wallace are grocery shopping and Wallace notes they can’t get fancy mayo as their barely in budget. I would’ve glossed over this scene... but @panur​ pointed out back around the Infinite Sadness review that this scene reveals something very intrestng: Scott.. is kind of a fincial burdern to Wallace. Before this while Scott mooched off him it wasn’t all that clear that Wallace was struggling. 

But here we notice that outside of some Havarti, it’s just the simplest stuff imaginable: turkey, bread, boxed mac and cheese ramen noodles... it’s nto BAD stuff, I have all of that in my house and it’s good stuff... but it’s not the kind of thing that you need to carefully budget for. Now granted part of this probably is Wallace as he likely spends a LOT on drinks, condoms and two 2 liters of diet soda a day.. but while he really needs to adress his alcohol issues, the rest is fair. He should be allowed to have as much sex and diet coke as he wants it’s his money. Same with the havarti. He earned it if he wants some really delcious cheese with herbs, seriously Havarati is the best, then that’s his bidness. But the rest of the time he’s barely managing to get  a basketfull of cheap food.. because he has to provide for Scott. It’s clearly something Scott dosen’t get and something I can relate to not getting. It took me a while to get how hard it is to budget for a full family, let alone two people on one income like Wallace has to. But Wallace is working on a nice job... but still a call center or something. He can’t pay for everything and the finccial stress is about to give as their landlord wants to meet with them. And as we’re about to learn things were even worse than we thought. 

Our heroes head home where we get a truly iconic conversation when, over margeritas (again proving my point that while Scott certainly isn’t HELPIGN wallace’s finacials, it’s not all on him)

This will be imporant later.. both the Lesbians part and Scott’s struggle saying it. he tried earlier on the beach but couldn’t get it out and Ramona clearly didn’t want to hear it as she kapt sshhhhing him.. playfully of course but still. 

So some time later it’s moving day! Kim is moving into Hollie and Josephs, and Scott, Stephen and Jason are helping. You might be wondeirng who the hell Jason is. He’s Kim’s boyfriend. I do not likes him. Not because he’s kim’s boyfriend, getting upset because a fictional character you fancy is dating is just patently stupid. I’ts like getting upset a celebrity crush is in a relationship: you had no chance anyway why. I wasn’t even bothered as a kid. I don’t really like him.. because he has no real personaliy and no real baring on the plot and I struggle to think why Bryan included him other than for a really annoying plot twist next time, which does not help my liking him knowing what’s coming. 

But while our heroes help our heroine move in, and Scott is suprised Hollie is there despite Kim having told him a minute ago she was moving in with her, something I can relate to sadly, we get something vitally plot important; Stephen passes Joseph’s room.. and notices he has a small recording setup in his room. Stephen quickly begs him to record the band’s album and Joseph agrees if only because he finds Stephen hot. Eh i’ve seen better relationships start on less, fair enough. And yes I said relationship more on that in a bit. 

So after a brief scene of Scott and Ramona having lunch where Scott fails to know her age and when Ramona says he could just ask.. hea sks and she dosen’t tell, not a bad scene character wise just not very plot important and probably should’ve bene swapped in order with the previous scene, we get to the next day. There’s a heat wave so Wallace orders Scott to go to the mall maybe find a job. He emphasises that. 

Instead Scott just sorta bums around thirst but nto having any money.. until an old face shows up. 

For those who forgot like Scott has, it’s Lisa Miller from the Volume 2 flashback, the girl who had a crush on Scott and was close friends with him and Kim. After a tackle hug  and some panic Scott eventually remembers.... if in a curiously unique and self serving way

At the time this was just hilarous. Now it’s very clear foreshadowing for the big twist in Volume 6. The two catch up while Scott is very clearly attracted to her but very clearly dosen’t want to be, with Lisa wondering where kim is, finding about Ramona, etc, before offering Scott lunch as the two catch up and Scott is very conflicted about how he feels. It’s nice visual stuff as he’s blushing, something more clear in the color version and trying to desperatley sort things out. As for why Lisa’s here she’s moving to the states soon, but is staying with her sister for now. 

So after an incdental scene with Wallace we catch up with Knives, who has broken up with Neil. And after some talk about Clash at the Demonhead, Tamra notes Knives apparently put a big x on her shrine of Scott... which baffles Knifves as she sure as hell didn’t do it and is still, sadly, obessed with Scott as ever. Granted Tamra isn’t at all helpful here claiming she did it even when she says she didn’t, is clearly confused and while yes we don’t know who else would care Tams, that just makes it all the more creepy. Stop gaslighting your bestie, she’s already got enoguh issues. She dosen’t need thinking she might have a split personality on top of the stalking, obession over a guy who has no intrest in loving her back, and attempted stabbings. Knives dosesn’t get a ton of focus in this one sadly. She kind of takes a back seat, and while sh’es not GONE from the volumle and someone close to her does impact it, she dosen’t really have any personal progression, negative or positive, like she does in every other volume, a shame since her personal jouney is one of the most intresting of the main cast. 

Anyways that night Scott hangs out with Lisa, having not gotten around to telling Ramona she exists yet and plays a game of find the Kim Pine. She goes to Neil’ and Stephen’s place for practice, but finds no one there and Neil being a dick... get used to that it’s going to get about 80 times worse soon enough. Though we do get this classic panel i’ve gotten some use out of 

He goes to Kim’s place, but she , Hollie and Satan’s Misterss have all left to Sneaky Dee’s, the local mexican place, for something to eat and Stephen is either high or doing.. something with Joseph. 

Yeah i’m not hiding that Stephen turns out to be gay in the final volume or cheating on Bitch and a Half with Joseph. And even if I hate Julie with the power of a frozen sun, I still dont’ think cheating on her is kosher. He could’ve just broken up with her and while part of it was likely confusion, and he could also be bi and not decided which one he wanted to be with, it’s still a dick move.. and later makes him a hypocrite but that’s a rant for next volume. 

So our heroes FINALLY find Kim, along with Hollie and Mouthface. And a nice thing I like is that Kim and Lisa are just.. increidbly close, happily catching up and making plans to hang before Lisa leaves, that despite Lisa having feelings for Scott the two ended up as close and She and Scott did and i’ts sweet to see. it’s also just.. rare to see Kim GENUINELY happy. I mean look at her

It’s not like she HASN’T smiled across the series but normally she’s just so miserable, likely because her best friends are a grumbly asshole who forces them to hang out with a raging typhoon of bitchiness, and an insenitive asshat who she never got closure with. This is the first decent human being whose not Ramona or Hollie, and that last one’s not going to last, in a while. It’s genuinely sweet to just see her.. enjoy the moment for once, honestly engaged with someone. Ramona shows up and finally meets Lisa, who apparently was on Degrassi.. I mean she says candaian show no one ever watched, and I watched that plenty but i’d like to think she was on there for a season or two. I liked Degrassi.. I honeslty miss it and think it could use some form of revivial and think porting it to netflix was a smart decision.. what wasn’t so smart was not having the other seasons leading into it on there. Need to watch more of it. 

So the next day Ramona stumbles into Scott’s dreams and both are annoyed, with Ramona suggesting he get a job. This finally gets him to try. He asks about Wallace’s work but understandably, he dosen’t really want scott there and asks if he even knows. So Scott sets out to ask his other friends for jobs, while Knives shows up saying she’s “totally not stalking him” but someone is following HER, a mysterious spiky haired dude in a black leather jacket, shades and with a sword on his back. Whu-oh. 

He tries Second Cup, with Julie annoyed that Stephen’s recording.. it’s hard to tell if she’s annoyed because she’s a bitch or because Stephen is both gneuinely annoying right now and clearly screwing around behind her back. My take?

But Scott realizes maybe getting a job at his Sister’s place of work who also works with his arch enemy might be stupid and backs out. He next tries Kim’s, but backs out of that too, admitting to kim it’d be stupid and Kim lists off all the reasons (His lack of resume, the fact them working together would be stresful and his ountain of late fees) why that’d be stupid, but in a jovial way. For once i’ts clear that while she’s still taking the piss out of them she isn’t mad at Scott.

In fact she genuinely helps him get a job, taking him to Stephen’s work since hers is dead right now anyway, a vegan place.  While Scott naturally compares things to a job system as he’d start as dishwasher while Stephen taught him prep, Scott agrees to genuinely take this seriously and Stephen’s boss decides “eh why not” when he asks her to employ him. Scott is gainfully employed baby! God I miss that. Seriously i’m not pimping my patreon for shits and giggles. 

But as he celebrates and Kim wishes she could punch his life in the face, they run into some trouble on the way home: Katana man who slices a motherfucking bus in half and chases them, with Scott reluctnat to fight because he has a sword and Scott does not, which is valid. He does escape though using subspace. He and Kim part awkardly and he returns home to Wallace throwing a party with two intresting charcters, a woman and a man of color, one of the few in the entire work, who are never seen again. 

The next night is practice.. or rather recording, and we start to see Neil get edged out, with him unable to come due to exams and clearly not happy about it, and Stephen just kind of ignoring anything he cares about like the dickhead he is. It dosen’t get any better as “recording” ends up just being Scott, Ramona, and Ratfaced Knacker watching bored with Joseph and Stephen work. Eventaully Scott and Ramona decide to get out of there as things are getting tensed between thing one and thing bitch, and leave.. and take Julie with them for some reason. 

So the three have dinner with Lisa, Kim, and Jason before The Mummies Curse thankfully leaves. Jason thought they were friends. 

We also get this exchange. 

I mean.. she is the better option. She his THE option. But before we can get the obvious answer of 

Stephen comes in with Knives. He smuggled her in. This leads to problems when Scott returns from the bathroom to find Queen Bitch throwing a bitch fit about him having brought her and screechs at her when she dares to talk to him “How do you even know my name?” Well Ted Cruz, you see when someone is an actually thoughtful and likes other people, they keep track of things about them and don’t constnatly tear them down or assume their partneer is automatically bonking a 17 year old instead of you know, actually forming something of a friendship and not shutting her out sensing she needs this friend group. Some people are not vacous piles of vitriol who care about nothing but themself and seem to go off at the slightest thing. 

Scott takes Ramona home but finds a drunken barely awake wallace so no sexy times. Not that he could anyway as the next day is the meeting with Peter their landlord. 

Peter reveals they’ll have to clear out by the 27th as their lease was for one year and their paid up.. as in only the first and last month. The two part melacholy knowing this sucks and isn’t a great situation. Then it’s time for Scott to work work, angelica, work work, eliza and peggy. After grueling day, can relate, he runs into  a wisp on teh wend and steels himself for a fight.. okay he bitches about it being too hot but it’s Scott. so it’s expected. He does get a hit in on his mysterious persuer.. and that’s when we meet Roxy.

Via boob punch, something Scott’s not proud of but in his defense, as Roxy keeps complaning about it, he was blindly struggling for a hit and din’t know the next Ex, or any of them, were female.. not that Ramona didn’t suggest it loudly enough by empahsising “exes” but scott’s a bit of a fuckwit. She mentions “everyone allways remmebers you”.. which is kind of ominus and tells me she tried to hook back up with ramona despite her having a boyfriend and she rejected her. Still on good terms though. But this confusing encounter ends with Roxy vowing she’ll get him next time gadget, next time. 

So we get some assorted slice of life scenes with the band, lisa and what have you as Scott tries to get in touch with Ramona but she keeps avoiding him. THat’s not worrysome at all. And Lisa brings up high school while drunk and clearly hits on Scott. He sidesteps it with her drunkness.. but this clearly isn’t over or going to stop being a problem. 

Speaking of problems Wallace makes Scott confront the truth: He either needs to find a new place to live or commit to staying, though Wallace is trying to nudge him toward asking Ramona to move into her place. Scott starts thinking it over, it being very hard especially since, as Stephen points out this was his very first place of his own.. but Stephen also points out these things are temoporary.. right before Scott ducks from katana guy. 

At work Scott wonders who it could be, though it turns out Stephen’s met him before, as he’s brought his family in here. So he’s PROBABLY not one of the exes.. but it leaves the question why he wants to cut Scott in half like Dewey Cox’s brother. But it turns out he’s nto the only enemy Scott’s casually running into as Roxy is there too.. with Ramona. 

The two talk, clearly about Scott and Lisa with Roxy trying to convince her he’s cheating and Ramona rightfully trusting Scott: while he IS attracted to her, he’s been fighting it every step of the way. Scott storms over to find out what’s going on and while Ramona is more distracted by his new job, she eventually realizes Roxy did attack him and he simply dscribed her poorly when he mentioned the incident over the phone. Scott is confused as he dosen’t get it. Is she with one of the exes what? After some hiinting from both parties, and Roxy rightfully mocking him for not getting the obvious... he finallyg ets it in the grandest way possible. 

So Roxy gets ready to fight and Scott can’t because sword, and gets fired in the background as he hides in Ramona’s bag and Ramona prepares to step in. Roxy screams at her for trusting him and defending him when Ramona.. just dosen’t her boyfriend to be bisected by her ex. A fight insues and a damn cool one at that. I honestly wish the movie had taken more from this, but simply didn’t have time leading it to instead be more like the envy fight with a bit of the Winfried Hailey fight from Free Scott Pilgrim. 

Roxy chases her and Ramona rightly points out Scott can’t run forever but takes him into Subspace.. where Roxy heads them off, having “taught you everything you know bitch” leading to a cool fight in the wintery version of subspace. Again why THIS wasn’t used instead I have no real idea. We also find out she’s a half ninja but she eventually leaves afer Ramona presses that button.. but Rammy is actually apologetic about it and Roxy’s “I hope you and your 24 children are happy together comment” is telling. 

Upon this readthrough of the volume.. I realized Roxy is the most layered and intresting of the exes next to Gideon himself. None of them are out and out terrible, but most of them have pretty simple motives: to kill Scott, ???, profit. Or in Todd’s case to kill scott, bang around and be a dick. But Roxy.. genuinely wants Ramona back. She’s the ONLY one who does: Gideon kinda does, but only in the sense that he wants her for his collection. But Roxy geninely still loves her, admitting so during this fight. And it’s not like she has no chance: out of the 7 exes she’s the ONLY one who parted with Ramona on anything resembling good terms. While intrestingly we don’t find out WHY they broke up, Ramona didn’t cheat on her like she did everyone else she was with. The two have coffee and hang out and Ramona geninely dosen’t even consider until Roxy tries to attack Scott that she’d really try killing him and tries her best to talk her out of it. But what holds Roxy back is her anger: She’s so bitter about the fact Ramona is bi or pan, so dedicated to viewing Ramona’s very orintation as a betryal (though Ramona calling it a phase dosen’t help and the movie RIGHTLY has Roxie comment on it and fly into a rage over it), and so driven to make sure the woman she loves dosen’t get hurt again that it blinds her to the fact Ramona dosen’t love her the same way anymore, and that while Scott is objectively a dick, and a cheater, and a greasy buttcrack pooflap, he is not a terrible person. A meh one sure, but he’s got good to him. She’s so biophobic she simply can’t see he’s a harmless moron.. well harmless to Ramona even with the cheating. He’s killed two people at this point and will kill again. Also she apparently has issues with only being a half ninja but this is never adressed. Point is Roxy’s really grown on me and is now probably my faviorite ex.  

Scott and Ramona talk it over on their way to Sneaky Dees and Scott finally asks to move in and gets a yes. His response is downright adorable. 

So at Sneaky Dee’s Young Neil is just a bit absolutely irate with Scott.. which isn’t fair as them not playing things is entirely on the blocky face asshole. Yell at him.. which he does, pointing out that they haven’t played shows in forever, and that the lady who owns Sneaky Dees not only runs shows, in the upstairs space, but has been asking them to play. Kim is rightly curious about this and to both Stephen just keeps saying “We’re recording right now.” And some of you may of wondered why I hate him. Well while he’s not exctly stellar in the first half in the second Stephen becomes goddman insufferable, slowly destroying the band for his affair and not giving one iota of a shit what anyone else wants. He’s a selfish, egomanical cheating prick. And yes I get it their recording an album.. but doing live shows would give them extra practice, MONEY, even if likely not a lot and exposure for said album. I get professoinal bands stop touring for a bit to do an album but you are not a professional band, and said bands still often iron out the album on the road. God you suck.

But while Scott sidesteps this argument he walks into another where Ramona confronts him about lisa about liking her.. and he rightly says if there was anything, which there was not it’s in the past. And while yes he is a cheater, she does not know this yet. This plot honestly would’ve worked better if she learned about the knives thing sooner, but instead she just comes off as paranoid for listening to Roxy about something that isn’t happening. Yes Scott’s been shown to be attracted to her.. but he’s been ashamed of it, fighting it and in denial about it, and is clealry all in with Ramona. Being attracted to someone else on a phsyical level does NOT mean your relationship is doomed. 

Things get worse as he goes home to ruminate.. and instead sees a man’s Penis. And Wallace..is at his second most unsymapthetic, not letting Scott get a shirt or a bus pass or something like a decent human being for no goddamn reason. Usually when Wallace is a dick to Scott, Scott’s earned it and badly needs a slap in the face. Here he’s just being a prick because.. the plot needs him to? I dunno it dosen’t work for me. It’s in character, I just don’t have to like it. 

So with no other options.. Scott ends up at Lisa’s. And so we get the last temptation of Scott. Lisa admits, embarassed that she’s been wearing sexy dresses and what not specifically to attract him, with Scott also mentioning how things are rough, Lisa tries to fight it herself pointing out he’s with ramona.. and when Scott points out they didn’t do anything in the past Lisa points out they should’ve.. and maybe they should now. 

We fade to black as Scott ends up in a dream and finds Roxy, who naturally has the same skill and tries to Freddy Kruger him before he wakes. He finds Lisa but they didn’t do anything: Scott pushed her away and babbled about how much he loved Ramona instead. As i’ve said.... his heart was never with LIsa... and even when he was so close to giving in he couldn’t. It’s a tangible sign of growth: He screwed around on Knives with Ramona, and given how bad things were getting with Ramona, it would be oh so easy to once again ditch a relationship the minute he found something else and oh so understandable. But... he dosen’t. He loves Ramona even if he hasn’t said it, he wants to make this work, and he’s changed. She’s changed him. He’s not quite a good man yet.. bu he’s getting to be good enough. Love turned him from a skeezy dumbass into a far more loveable dumbass. Ramona’s gotten him to stop dating a teenager (even if again he cheated), face his past with envy to finally move on and now get a job. He’s realized just hwo much she means to his life and world and so he goes to tell her. 

Riggghtttt after going to get his job back and works a shift, with steven wanting to punch his life in the balls. Stephen shut the fuck up. Just because Scott is lucky and your stuck dating satan’s scrotum does not mean you get to punch his life int he balls. Kim does, because he’s put her through more shit but not you. 

He goes to second cup to talk to Stacey.. only to end up at the wrong one where Knives also now has a job... and we finally get an answer to who the mystery katana guy is...

Yup turns out wielding giant weapons in vengance runs in the family. As for how he knows about Scott her aunt mentioned her boyfriend, everyone freaked out and obviously while her mom was mentioned as knowing in volume 1, they did not tell her dad whose brain turned into an engine of vengance and defaced the shrine. While part of it is apparnetly racisim for Scott being white the fact is he clearly saw Scott’s photograph. The guy is 5 years older. I get him being protective. Still dosen’t justify cutting off his head. His balls maybe but not his head. 

And then Scott ran, once agian finding a subspace entracne.. and this time we see inside ramona’s head and well...

Yeah.. that’s.. kind of fucked, and Ramona isn’t happy scott saw that, though she backs down once Scott explains..a nd then gets upset over him staying at Lisa’s but before SCott can tell her he loves her it turns out Roxy stayed over. So yeah, Ramona might of cheated, she tells him to alk it off and he runs around in a psycadelic haze of emtoinal confusion. And meets.. someone new...

Scott snaps out of his funk and ignores his doppleganger heading back for Ramona... whose fighting Mr. Chau. Scott left the door to Ramona’s head open and he followed him through Subspace. Scott lures him into the house and away from her only to run into Roxy. This leads to both of his attackers fighting and her wondering if Gideons ent him “Why does no one ever belivie in me?!” 

She soon realize no i’ts just unrelated and calls Scotto ut on hiding behind not having a sword and behind her being a woman, caling it a flimsy excuse. I mean she’s tring to kil lhim. It’s okay to hit an enemy combatant. Scott realizes he has to stop running... and get real with ramona leading to a truly epic, romantic and heartfelt speech and given how far he’s come and just how heartfelt it is it’s a real sign of how deep he feels. Sure we’ve seen genuine chemstiry between the two.. but htis moment is a shit.. from a simple relationship.. into true love. 

I may of only had a few but Relationships are not easy, They take work, they take time, they take patience and theyt ake love.. but if your willing to work with someone, look past some flaws and help them with the rest.. then it’s worth it. And Scott has finally realized it and for the first time in a while is running TOWARDS something difficult, actually working on this relationship and talking with his partner instead of running finding someone else or wallowing. He’s truly grown up. While he still has miles to go.. he’s taken about 50 steps forward with this. And as such given the kind of unvierse we’re in, as Ramona is genuinely touched by it he levels up a glowing sword with a heart shaped hilt coming out of his chest.. and realizing what’s happening he pulls it out....

So Scott faces off with roxy and in an awesomly short battle, their sords clash.. and he bisects her. 

Scott then honestly talks down Mr Chau who leaves after a nod, and Ramona tells Scott she loves him two. The two make out and all is well.

One make out fades into another, as we cut to Scott moving in with Kim and Blockhead’s help. Well kinda they only had one box but they owed him one. He and wallace comiserate over the end of their time as roomies. They’ll always be friend but it’s truly the end of an era. Also Wallace gets off another bit of dickery as he’’s very glad it all worked out for scott...

 Now there’s the Wallace I know and love. Dickish but just the right loveable kind of douchebag with that swagger. 

Back at Knives house she’s apparenlty into somebody though who I have no idea, Mr Chau give sher his blessing and she.. apparenlty doesen’t know chinese. I dunno. As I said her subplot this go round was her weakest overall. 

And so we end with the whole gang gathered to see Lisa off. It’s a REALLY nice shot, and one of the only times Wallace is seen with the Sex Bomb omb side of the group. Oh sure he goes to their shows and what not, but generally their never in the same vincinity so while there’s no interaction I still find this neat. Seriously the whole main cast is there, it’s a really lovely shot

Also Jason and Hollie.. who are getting awfully chummy. Whu Oh. And of course Craphole and Mouth Face are as likeable as ever. 

So we jsut get a genuinely nice sene. Except Stephen and Julie reconciling. Fuck that. Please move on. And as everyone fondly wishes Lisa adeu and wish she stuck arond the res tof the series we end on Scott and Ramona snuggling, Scott asking her her birthday and finding out she’s 24, and they both will be come september. Scott wishes this moment could last. 

They probperly snuggle as the volume ends on a high. 

Final Thoughts:

Yeah.. Gets it Together is, on rexamination, DEFINTELY my faviorite of the 6. Besides personal value i’ts hte best contained story, contaning lots of character development, great character moments, jokes, and EASILY the best art so far, with goregouness and creativty abounding. 

There is a problem here or there: Stephen and Julie’s subplot feels underbaked, and not just because I hates them, and there are several scenes that don’t further plot or character stuff. Ther’es also stuff that could’ve been expanded on.. but given this is still a pretty meaty graphic novel, it’s understandable why it wasn’t.. though it is why I’d love a streaming series since while the movie is excellent, a full series could expand on stuff from the books more Brian simply didn’t have time for. Knives also didn’t get a lot to do. 

But their drowned out by tons of great decisions: Lisa was a wonderful additoin to the cast and I genuinely wish she’d stuck around, adding in some energy, blending well with the Sex Bomb Omb crowd, and having great dynamics with everyone and her arc with Scott is heartbreaking,knowing she can’t have him but wanting him anyway having never gottne proper closure on the man she’s always wanted. She’s a heartbreaking character and its nice to see her end in a decent place and on good terms with Scott, having let him go for both thier sakes. 

And while Lisa is a highlight everyone is on their a game here for the most part apart from knives, girl hitler, and captain dumbass: Scott grows signfigantly but is funny as hell, Wallace has an intresting arc trying to nudge Scott out without being overt about it, scared to really confront him, Kim is in a happy and serene place for once and it shows. The villians are also intresting: While Mr Chau is a tad underbaked, he’s sitll a cool imposing presence. I do think he shoudl’ve had more to do with the plot.. but is still just so freaking cool it papers over that and him just.. disappearing after this like poor Lisa. 

Roxy is far more intresting, having clearly more going on than we see and while I wish we’d got her backstory, she’s easily the most engaging of the exes, being the only one to actively compete with Scott (All her and ramona end up doing is making out a little it turned out), and have bigger stakes than just “The glasses wearing douche asked me to beat up my exes boyfriend and I was like alright. 

All in all Gets it Together is really magical, the series high point, and just damn fun and it was a pleasure to go through

Next Month on Scott Pilgrim: It all falls down as we take a look into what once was my least faviorite Album, vs the unvierse. Two perfect assholes try and murder scott with Robutts, his relationship and band crumble and things get sad so very very sad. 

Next on this blog: More LIlo and Stitch! The Proud Family come to Kauai and get into a fight with our heroes. Also wizard kelly... who if nothing else is now far more tolerable now i’ve had to spend another volume with the wicked bitch of the west. Touche universe touche. See you at the next rainbow.