#but we do have some proper reflections on the good and the bad and the ugly

[bloodreinasbathwater]

Run for the Hills

Prologue

Jack Hughes X F!Reader

a.n: This is definitely not one of the anticipated chapters you guys want but I'm trying to get myself back into writing, so I made a new fic to try out and see where it goes for now.

Warnings: cursing, bad jokes, frat boy humor

Word Count - 3k

The only sound in the room was her soft breathing and the occasional scratch of paper from her novel. She was so engrossed in the page, a daydream she lost herself inside that the outside world paled in comparison to.

Y/n licked her finger and flipped the page and settled deeper into the couch where she had burrowed herself into for the last three hours. The silence in the room was shattered as the front door crashed open, sending a gust of wind whipping through Y/n's hair as she looked up from her book in surprise.

"Get up and help me!" her roommate shouted, staggering through the doorway with her arms full of overstuffed grocery bags.

Y/n hurriedly marked her page and set the novel aside, springing up from the couch just as one of the flimsy bags gave way, sending a cascade of canned goods and produce tumbling to the floor with a cacophony of clatters and thuds.

"Oh no, let me help!" Y/n rushed over, kneeling down to scoop up the fallen items as her roommate kicked the door shut behind her.

"I didn't realize you'd be back so soon," Y/n said breathlessly, glancing up at her roommate's harried expression. "What's the hurry?"

Her roommate let out an exasperated sigh, shifting the remaining bags in her arms. "I ran into an old friend downtown and got roped into helping her move some furniture. I was supposed to be back an hour ago but it took forever." She shook her head, shooting Y/n an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for the mess - can you grab those last few cans while I get the rest of this put away?"

Y/n nodded quickly, grabbing the stray items and following her roommate to the kitchen. With her roommate's unexpected return and the sudden chaos, the quiet solitude of her novel-induced daydream already felt like a distant memory. “So, what did you do today? Any plans? Any new boys?” Alyssa suggested slyly.

Y/n thought for a second as she filled the empty shelves with cans. “No boys and no plans, not that its anything new.” She replied honestly, almost embarrassed to admit it. A beat of silence followed. “Actually, I’ve realized I prefer fictional men as company,” she added with a laugh.

"Ugh, boring. Why'd I even bother asking?" Alyssa groaned, dramatically throwing her head back. She paused mid-eye roll, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "Wait. This is perfect actually. The Bruins are playing tonight."

Y/n raised an eyebrow, failing to see the connection. "And that matters because...?"

"Because," Alyssa drawled, hopping onto the counter with the grace of someone who'd clearly done this a thousand times before, "every basic bro in the city will be glued to their TV screens. Which means..." She drummed her perfectly manicured nails against the granite, building suspense.

"Which means?"

"The good bars will be practically empty! Come on, Y/n. When's the last time you wore that little black dress that's been collecting dust in your closet? The one with the slit that makes your legs look incredible?" Alyssa's eyes sparkled with possibility. "I know for a fact that new cocktail bar downtown, Luna, will be dead tonight. We could actually get seats at the bar, maybe talk to the cute bartender I've been eyeing—"

"Alyssa—" Y/n started to protest, but her roommate was already in motion, sliding off the counter and grabbing Y/n's shoulders.

"No excuses! Your book boyfriend will still be there tomorrow. Tonight, we're trading fictional men for real ones. And I'm not taking no for an answer." She gave Y/n a gentle shake. "Besides, I have tea to spill about that furniture-moving friend I mentioned. Trust me, you're going to want to hear this story over a proper martini."

…

Y/n stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror while Alyssa worked her magic with a curling iron, fighting the urge to retreat to her book. The truth was, it wasn't just that she preferred fictional men – real ones had become disappointingly predictable. Every dating app conversation felt scripted, every bar interaction a tepid reproduction of the last. She'd grown tired of pretending to be impressed by startup jobs and fantasy football leagues, of dumbing herself down to stroke fragile egos.

"Earth to Y/n!" Alyssa's voice cut through her thoughts. "Are you ignoring me? Anyway, I’m done! Look at my handy work and tell me you don’t look hot."

Y/n had to admit, the black dress did look good, hugging curves usually kept hidden behind work attire. But even as they walked into Luna, even as heads turned to track their entrance, she felt that familiar emptiness creeping in. What was the point? No one ever made her pulse race, made her wonder what they'd say next, made her want to chase the high of their attention.

Three hours and several expertly crafted cocktails later, Y/n was actually enjoying herself – though that had everything to do with Alyssa's company and nothing to do with the parade of predictable men who'd approached their corner of the bar. She'd perfected the art of polite dismissal, sending them away with practiced smiles that never quite reached her eyes.

The bass pulsed through Luna's speakers as Y/n nursed her martini, watching Alyssa hold court at their corner of the bar. Three guys in button-downs – clearly fresh from some financial district happy hour – had been hovering nearby for the past ten minutes, shooting what they probably thought were subtle glances their way.

"Here we go," Y/n muttered under her breath, catching the familiar look of determination cross the tallest one's face as he finally worked up the courage to approach.

"Ladies," he announced, spreading his arms wide like he was presenting a TED talk. "My colleagues and I couldn't help but notice you've been drinking alone." He gestured to his friends, who flanked him with identical smirks. "We thought we'd fix that tragedy."

Alyssa straightened, flashing her practiced giggle. "Oh my god, that's so sweet of you!"

"I'm Brad," the ringleader said, then pointed to his friends who y/n couldn’t help but notice both had no socks on with their loafers. That was just the first of many icks she received that night. "This is Chase and..." he faltered for a moment, "...Tyler."

Y/n bit back a laugh. The third guy – apparently Tyler – looked slightly offended that Brad had to think about his name.

"Let me guess," Y/n said suppressing a giggle, unable to help herself. "You all work in finance?"

"Investment banking, actually," Chase jumped in, puffing up his chest. "We just closed a huge deal. Brad here's basically a genius with emerging markets."

"Bro, stop," Brad said with fake modesty, though he was clearly pleased. "But yeah, it was pretty impressive. The partners were blown away by my analysis of the—"

"The Asian markets?" Y/n finished dryly. "Let me guess, you're really into crypto too?"

The sarcasm flew right over their heads. "Holy shit, how did you know?" Tyler exclaimed. "I've got this sick NFT collection—"

"Oh my god, that's fascinating!" Alyssa cut in, shooting Y/n a warning look. "Tell us more about it!"

Brad moved closer to Y/n, mistaking her eye roll for interest. "You know, you look like a girl who appreciates ambition. I just got promoted to junior VP, and my bonus this year..." He trailed off suggestively.

"Fascinating," Y/n deadpanned. "Do you also have a podcast?"

"Actually..." All three of them lit up simultaneously.

"It's about mindset and grinding—" Chase started. "—and disrupting traditional paradigms—" Brad added. "—with a focus on sigma male energy," Tyler finished proudly.

Alyssa was doing her best to appear enthralled, but even she couldn't completely hide her wince at that last part.

"We should totally collab," Brad continued, edging even closer to Y/n. "I bet you'd love to hear about my morning routine. I wake up at 4 AM to meditate and do cold plunges—"

"Wow," Y/n interrupted, finishing her drink in one gulp. "That's incredibly..." she searched for a word that wouldn't entirely crush their spirits, "...consistent of you."

"Right?" Brad beamed, completely missing her tone. "Hey, you should check out my Instagram. I post daily inspiration quotes over pictures of wolves. The engagement is insane."

Y/n felt her soul trying to leave her body. She caught Alyssa's eye, silently pleading for an escape route, but her roommate was already deep in conversation with Chase and Tyler about their "entrepreneurship mindset course."

"Look," Brad said, lowering his voice to what he clearly thought was a seductive tone. "I don't usually do this, but I sense a real connection here. You're not like other girls."

"Oh god," Y/n muttered under her breath.

"You're obviously on that grindset wavelength. I could tell by your aura. So what do you say we—"

Y/n opened her mouth to answer when her phone lit up with her sister's ringtone. "Saved by the bell," she laughed, grabbing her phone. "I should take this – back in five!"

She headed for a quieter corner near the back of the bar, weaving between groups of people. The phone was still buzzing in her hand when someone slammed into her from behind, nearly sending her face-first into the wall. Strong hands caught her waist, steadying her, but instead of immediately letting go, they lingered – warm and sure against the thin fabric of her dress.

"Shit, I'm so sorry—" a voice said above her, close to her ear, low and touched with amusement. "Though I've gotta say, this isn't the worst collision I've had tonight."

Y/n turned, ready to deliver the kind of cutting remark she'd perfected over years of unwanted bar encounters – but the words died in her throat. The man still holding her wasn't anything like the finance bros she'd just escaped. He was tall, dressed in dark jeans and a perfectly fitted black henley that did nothing to hide the athletic build underneath. He was looking at her not with the desperate eagerness of Brad and his crew, but with an almost lazy confidence that made her pulse quicken.

"You can let go now," she said, finding her voice. "Unless you make a habit of holding onto strange women in bars?"

His hands slid from her waist, slowly, deliberately. "Only the ones who look like they're plotting escape routes." The corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. "Though I can't blame you, if you were running from those walking LinkedIn profiles I saw you with earlier."

"You were watching me?" Y/n raised an eyebrow, surprised by the little thrill that shot through her at the thought.

"Hard not to. You looked about ready to commit murder when the one in the blue started talking about his morning routine." He leaned against the wall, creating a bubble of space that felt separate from the rest of the bar. "I'm Jack. And you're definitely too interesting to be stuck listening to cryptocurrency bros all night."

"Interesting?" she challenged, surprising herself by stepping slightly closer. "You don't know anything about me."

His eyes dropped to her lips for a fraction of a second before meeting her gaze again. “I know you're intrigued right now, even though you're trying not to show it."

Heat crept up her neck at his directness. He wasn't wrong, but she wasn't about to let him know that. "That's a lot of assumptions from someone who's spent the last five minutes running away from his own problems."

"Running away?" He laughed, and the sound did something to her insides. "More like making a strategic retreat. Though I'll admit, diving behind the bar wasn't my smoothest move."

"Do I want to know why you were diving behind bars?"

"Depends." He shifted closer, just enough that she had to tilt her head back slightly to maintain eye contact. "How do you feel about blind dates, sports journalists, and elaborate escape plans?"

"That sounds like the start of either a very good story or a very bad lie."

"Buy me a drink and find out?" The challenge in his voice was unmistakable. "Unless you'd rather go back to hearing about sigma male energy and cold plunges?"

Y/n felt herself teetering on the edge of something dangerous. Jack wasn't like the others – there was something magnetic about him, something that made her want to push back, to see what would happen. He carried himself with the easy confidence of someone used to getting what he wanted, but there was something else there too – a spark of genuine interest when he looked at her that made her skin tingle.

"Counter offer," she said, meeting his intensity with her own. "You tell me the story first, and I'll decide if it's worth buying you that drink."

His smile turned wolfish. "I like the way you negotiate." He stepped even closer, until she could feel the heat radiating from his body. "But I should warn you – once you hear this story, you might not want to let me leave."

"That's a pretty big assumption," she replied, though her heart was racing. "I'm not that easy to impress."

"Good," he said simply, his eyes dark with promise. "I like a challenge."

…

"So about that blind date," Jack started, leaning against the wall beside her. His sleeve brushed against her bare arm, sending electricity through her skin. "My teammate thought it would be hilarious to set me up with his cousin – didn't mention she's also a sports journalist who's been trying to get an exclusive with me for months."

Y/n raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite herself. "And running away was your sophisticated solution?"

"Hey, I made it three whole minutes before I spotted her voice recorder in her purse," he laughed, running a hand through his already disheveled dark hair. "Though I'll admit, diving behind the bar and army-crawling my way to this corner wasn't my proudest moment. The bartender's face was priceless though."

"You did not," Y/n gasped, eyes widening with delight.

"I absolutely did. These jeans?" He gestured to his knees, where sure enough, there were slight wet marks. "Casualties of war. But hey, it led me to crash into you, so I'd say it was worth the dry cleaning bill."

The way he looked at her when he said it made her stomach flip. There was something magnetic about him – the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, how he seemed genuinely interested in her reactions, the subtle way he'd shifted closer as they talked.

"So what's your story?" he asked, his voice dropping lower. "What's a girl who clearly doesn't want to be here doing in a bar on game night?"

"What makes you think I don't want to be here?"

"Because you've been watching everyone like you're taking mental notes for a novel. Like you're observing rather than participating." His observation was so accurate it caught her off guard. "Until now, at least."

Before Y/n could respond, a familiar squeal cut through their bubble.

"There you are!" Alyssa's voice rang out as she materialized beside them, her eyes widening as they landed on Jack. "Oh my god, Y/n, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

Y/n felt her walls slam back up, recognizing the predatory gleam in her roommate's eyes. She'd seen it before – countless times. Alyssa had a way of commanding attention, of making herself the center of any interaction. And men always noticed her first, or noticed her eventually. It was an unspoken pattern in their friendship that Y/n had learned to accept.

"Jack," he offered, politely extending his hand to Alyssa, though his eyes flickered back to Y/n.

"I'm Alyssa, Y/n's roommate and best friend," she gushed, placing her hand in his and holding on a beat too long. "You look so familiar. Wait – oh my god, are you Jack Hughes? The hockey player?"

Y/n's stomach dropped. Of course he was someone famous. Of course this moment, like all the others that had promised to be different, would end the same way.

"Guilty," he admitted with a slight grimace, still trying to maintain eye contact with Y/n even as Alyssa positioned herself between them.

"This is crazy! I was just telling Y/n we needed to come out tonight because of the hockey game. I'm like, your biggest fan. Y/n doesn't follow hockey at all, isn't that funny?" Alyssa laughed, touching his arm.

Y/n watched as Jack tried to navigate the conversation diplomatically, occasionally attempting to include her, but Alyssa was a force of nature when she wanted something. She felt herself backing away slightly, the familiar role of wallflower settling back over her shoulders like a well-worn coat.

"I should probably check on that missed call," she said quietly, though she doubted either of them heard her.

As she turned to leave, she caught Jack's voice, sharp with what sounded like frustration. "Actually, Y/n—"

But Alyssa cut him off. "Oh my god, we should totally get your number. For like, future game tickets and stuff?"

Y/n didn't stay to hear his response. She'd seen this movie before, knew how it ended. She made her way back to the bar, signaling for another drink, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. For a moment – just a moment – she'd felt something real. Something that made her want to lean in instead of pull away.

But real wasn't for girls like her. Real was for girls like Alyssa, who knew how to claim what they wanted without hesitation. She raised the fresh glass to her lips, determined to wash away the lingering warmth of possibility.

She didn't notice Jack's eyes following her retreat, or the way he barely registered Alyssa's number in his phone, or how his jaw clenched when he realized Y/n wasn't coming back.

[c-t-r-l14]

And the Crowd is….Slighlty Confused!?

Ya’ll remember when Kendrick Lamar said, “I remember when you was conflicted”?

That’s me right now, ya’ll. I’m conflicted.

I’m conflicted as hell.

For the first time in six months, Alex and Gremlin sat down and had a proper conversation about the break up, how they’ve been feeling, and what they’ve been doing since then. And honestly, I couldn’t be more prouder of both of them. They were certainly tackling this subject with maturity—an aspect that they both begged of each other, but clearly lacked the last time they spoke. It was really nice to see them sit down and be amicable to one another, and honestly, my heart couldn’t help but soften by the way they interacted with each other. It reminded me of the good ol’ days. The peaceful times before everything went to shit.

On one hand, I really want them to have a happy ending. In the audio, you can just feel the mutual pining between those two; the way they both have been stalking each other socials, the way they’ve been thinking about each other non-stop, the way they find remnants of each other and the happy times they had in ordinary mundane things—the way you can tell how much they’ve missed each other. Like—I truly, truly felt the love. This was the conversation they should’ve had from the very beginning, and it pisses me off that they didn’t really talk things out after the first initial argument in part four. At the end of the day, all Gremlin wanted was reassurance, even though they went about it the wrong way. I think one of the best things about this audio was the fact that Alex gave them a lot of grace. He recognizes that Gremlin’s trust issues went deeper than they thought, and even realized that what they did that night was a lapse in judgement on their part. He took the time to understand their mindset when they made those accusations—how it’s hard to see anything differently when you’ve had your mind set on something, or—how sometimes when life is a little bit too good, you start to get suspicious—and start to find a reason why it could be an illusion. But, I think one of the biggest things about this audio was how he acknowledged how irrelevant he made listener feel. He reflected on his behavior during the campaign shoot he was doing with Natalie—and how he was fully focused on his work because he wanted to impress the higher ups—and it was because of that, he started to neglect listener. He started answering his texts less, he was spending more of his time at the studio, and by the time he got home, he was exhausted—so its not like they could’ve done much with each other, anyway. That neglect, plus him spending time with another woman—it made Gremlin spiral, and drudged up old memories and fears that they thought they’d put to bed. And Alex, after all this time—finally acknowledged that he was partly to blame for that spiral, and realized that he should’ve been more attentive to the person he loves.

Another thing I really love about this video is that we finally get a reason why he acted so strangely during the break up. Alex and Gremlin never really spoke about the cheating accusations after it happened, and like I said in my last rant—it’s very possible that it had been on his mind for a long time, but he just never told them how bad it truly made him feel until the break up convo happened—which caused his feelings to get the better of him. And, he acknowledged that because of this, it made him say some things that he really shouldn’t have said. Now, as a person who’s literally known for her hatred of Alex, I’m gonna give credit where credit’s due. I am very proud of Alex’s character development. I’m proud he reflected on all of the events that took place and the part he played, and unlike the last audio—he doesn’t make excuses this time around. He acknowledges the break up could’ve been handled better, and takes some accountability for his role in it. But that’s the thing—he only takes some accountability for his part, and it’s because of that I’m conflicted as hell.

Throughout this entire closure convo, it seems like Alex was kind of vague about the things he said during the breakup. He never once acknowledged the excuses he made, the gaslighting he did, or his hypocrisy during that entire conversation. And those three things were the biggest reasons why a lot of people do not like him. Like yes, he acknowledges that his emotions got the better of him and made him say ‘things he shouldn’t have’, but the main thing he did acknowledge was the offhand comment he made about Gremlin not being the “right person” for this relationship. On top of that, he made sure to go into great detail on the way Gremlin confronted him about the cheating allegations. Now, don’t get me wrong—Alex is fully within his right to tell Gremlin how they made him feel. At the end of the day, they had no right to violate his privacy or yell at them with accusations they made up based off flimsy ass evidence and their own paranoid theories—and I can understand why Alex was hurt by that. However, he never really went into depth about the things he said during the break up convo,either. He puts the gaslighting, excuse making, and hypocrisy under the umbrella term of ‘things he shouldn’t have said to them’, and that was something I really did not like. Because, one of the biggest reasons why Gremlin fully believed that the break up was all their fault was because Alex made it seem that way. He dodged the solutions Gremlin tried to give him with excuses, he demanded transparency from them and couldn’t even be bothered to do the same thing back, and used such roundabout language that made it seem like they were the only problem—despite his lack of effort and accountability. He doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that he tried to twist their anger for being the last to know about his job offer in a way that made them look like that they were mad that he got a job offer at all. And speaking of that job offer…WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU ‘NEVER TOLD THEM YES?’ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE ‘ONLY THINKING ABOUT IT,’ AND ‘WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT TO THE PEOPLE WHO MATTERED TO YOU FIRST?’ In the break up audio, he made it seem like he was actually going to take the job. Him taking the job was one of the biggest reasons why he broke up with Gremlin in the first place—because he was so sure that they couldn’t handle long distance! If he wasn’t sure about taking the job the day he broke up with them—then what was the point of the break up in the first place?? Why didn’t he at least take the time to make a decision about the job offer first, and then see what he could do about his relationship afterword?? Like—if he wasn’t 100% sure that he wasn’t going to go to States—why did he break up with them? That was the part that never made sense to me. I guess you could say that his emotions had gotten the better of him in that moment and he impulsively decided to break things off…but just knowing that he never had a definitive answer during the time they broke up makes the break up seem more stupid than it already was. I was so sure that he was going to go to New York that I didn’t even think that we were even going to get an audio where Alex tells Gremlin that he still loves them, simply because—number one—I thought he his decision to move was set in stone, and number two—he acted like he wanted nothing to do with them!

I just don’t know ya’ll, I’m hella conflicted. You can see how much he’s grown—at least in some ways. He’s finally starting to recognize his faults, and acknowledge the things he could’ve done better. I think my favorite thing about this audio was the fact that he didn’t let Gremlin take all the blame, and he even tried to give this relationship a fighting chance. However, his immaturity still lurks in the background. Because while yes, he does acknowledge some of his faults, he doesn’t seem to recognize all of them.

A part of me is still bitter toward him—and pissed as hell that they could’ve had this conversation the whole time if they just took the time to open their mouths and communicate. But, another part of me—a slightly bigger part—can’t help but forgive him. And that might be a shock to ya’ll—since I’m probably known as that ‘One girl who despises Alex so much that she makes unhinged rants about how much she hates him.’ But I think if he truly wanted to change, and is taking the initiative to do so, who am I to be mad at him? I think its a step in the right direction—and I’d like to think it’d be nice for him prove that he’s not the punk ass, bum ass, photographer bitch boy that we think is. Because, one of the biggest things I hated about him was the lack of initiative, because despite telling Gremlin how much he loves them, and how they make him happy during the break up convo—he never once lifted a finger to make things work.

But, I don’t see that now. If he wants to make things work, then—I mean—why not? Their love is just as clear as their red flags. And maybe a lot of ya’ll may think I’m a punk for thinking this way, but as much as I get up on here and talk shit, I’ve always secretly hoped that they’d get a happy ending together—one where they both worked things out. And they finally have a chance to do that now, both of them—in therapy.

Although I don’t think that’s gonna happen—because the crumpets are not having it.

Oh well. What’s important is that Gremlin got closure, and (hopefully) knows they’re not fully at fault for what happened, and Alex apologized—and to me, that’s all that matters.

Masterlist

[threepandas]

Bad End: Cold War

The receiving room was beautifully furnished. Neither overly ostentatious nor fussy in design. But it had a... coldness to it. This entire god forsaken building was, artfully hidden fireplaces be damned.

And it wasn't just the temperature.

The North may be a cold place, but the people there had always been a hardy one. Kind, if stoic. Not the sort for empty words and flamboyant gestures. So to see a building like this? One so very, very COLD? It spoke of something rotten. Something gone terribly wrong and far beyond control, hidden away out in the countryside where no one could stop it in time.

And it had.

And it DID.

And oh, how we SUFFERED for it, didn't we?

I didn't understand what went wrong. I knew, KNEW, because I was no fool, that the Story would change. Since I was remove a load bearing antagonist, how could it NOT? But... well, I did not wish to die. Certainly not for some other girl's love story. I refused to suffer. To be humiliated. To lead a life of pain and degradation. Just so she might frolic about with men, only to ultimately end up on the throne.

She would either have to find her way to greatness on her own merit, or settle of mediocrity. But it would NOT be built upon the back of my suffering. I gracefully bowed out. Took leave of the stage. And? Comported myself as befit a daughter of my house.

They were not... the most open. In fact, they struggled to connect. To offer or even receive comforts of any kind. But my family LOVED with a fierceness that would lead armies and burn nations. We were ABSOLUTE. And we? Stand TOGETHER. Always.

I would never forget. No matter how many days pass by. WHO I first saw when I opened my eyes. Clustered around my tiny form, rumbled and undignified in a way I would never see them again, with eyes that shone with such RELIEF. I never saw my mother's make run like that again. I half believe she hopes I do not remember.

But I DO.

And I always will.

In the Story, my character was a terror. Haughty and cruel. Sadistic. A wealthy brat that played God right up until all her sins came due. She drove a great deal of the early plot. I? Did none of those things. I threw myself into being a good daughter and a shining reflection upon the parents I loved.

I took my etiquette lessons seriously, to the delight of my teachers. My school work was promptly finished and followed by clarifying questions, to the joy of my tutors. I was polite to my peers. Overlooked their embarrassing early fumbles and mistakes. Helped them navigate social disasters with dignity. Promised nothing yet remained approachable.

My prospects had been ABYSMAL in the Story. It was part of the Narrative's punishment, I think. Though in hindsight, it is an ugly thing to do. A wonder I ever found such a story interesting enough to read. I imagine, it is the difference between tales and lived events? Nonetheless. My father was FLOODED with letters.

My poor mother absolutely HARRASED. Not an outing could go by, without SOMEONE mentioning their DEAR, SWEET son or nephew. To maintain proper appearances and neutrality, I was forced to attend more party's and events then I EVER wished to see.

I felt like a slab of meat up for auction. A show pony. But I also knew it was temporary. That I need only keep an eye out for a good, respectful man. Listen to the rumor mills. Discreetly bribe a few servants for information that "everyone knew". It was, after all, the way of things.

Should have been, the way of things.

But trouble started. Strange infighting, that started between boys and escalated to entire households. Tense, unspoken, lines dividing garden parties that only the day before were amicable. The Protagonist and her Harem of powerful players? Were BLIND to it.

Two of them were PRINCE for God sake! How had they been RAISED, that they could not feel the sudden shift in the socio-political landscape of their Father's court? He certainly could. And it clearly unnerved him. Yet? The Harem, each son's, each HEIRS, of some powerful position? Seemed both blind and deaf to all but the painfully obvious.

And even THAT? Was apparently unconnected to each other in their empty little minds. Had they nothing but flowers and glitter between their ears? One had to assume.

People were... accidentally forgotten. When invitations were sent. Then deliberately. Then OPENLY. Then? They were SNUBBED. Events deliberately scheduled on the same day, at the same time, as another. So all of polite society would have to CHOOSE. It was escalation.

And if it had been on or two houses? It would have been scandalous. Depending on the house, perhaps even worrying. A handful of houses? The king might have tried to get involved. Forcefully mediate. But it... it was somehow so much WORSE. Was EVERYWHERE.

Like someone had carefully examined the entirety of the Court for fault lines, then SWUNG. Some silent, careful, machination that left everyone at everyone's throat. Divided. Weak.

Easy to manipulate and control.

I could not for the life of me find the source of it all. My social season becoming swiftly more and more dangerous. Politically charged. People pushing and PUSHING for alliances I could not and WOULD NOT give without consulting my family. The capital was no longer safe. So... I quietly left.

Letters of vague excuse. Family matters, cousin so-n-so in their time of need, I'm sure you understand. Too late to stop me and under the cover of darkness.

It... I tell myself it is not my fault. That it would have happened either way. That I could not have known. But... but guilt is a heavy thing. It sits like lead in your gut. Like chains around your soul. They were waiting, I think. More, I suspect. Because...

Because the capital all but EXPLODED.

The carnage was IMMEDIATE. Not even a full day later, at a hunting party, the heir to one house shot the second son to another.

He did not survive.

The powder keg finally sparked and it all went up in flames. Alliances that had stood for centuries, shattered. Brother turned against brother. A wedding turned into a bloodbath, as the bride turned on both her family AND the groom, escaped into the night. Fights broke out everywhere.

The festering tension that had gone for so long unspoken? Could no longer be ignored. Would not, be ignored. The king was helpless to stop it all. The gaurd could only do so much. The fluffy, happy, empty headed little world of comfort the Protagonist knew? Was shredded to pieces.

It became starkly clear that the royal family... couldn't handle it.

That their heirs were... Weak.

Captain of the Gaurd, the Prime Minister, even the King's strongest supporter, the Duke of the East, ALL of them had... weak and ineffectual heirs. One or two could be a failing of parentage, but all together? They had let someone sabotage their sons. Make them puppets to be used and discarded at convenience.

The natural suspicion, of course, fell to the one most benefiting from said son's empty headedness. Much to the Harem's horror. No! Not their beloved shared girlfriend! That the world was burning around them? Of no consequence. But upsetting their darling little mouse? Unforgivable!

It was an act of true, genuine, paternal love; that those fools were banished by the king. They would have been killed horribly had they remained.

My family and I? Retreated to our lands. We had enough to survive. Our House and our People came first. We sent no messages, we received none. I practiced my frankly terrible embroidery. My maids gently CORRECTED my frankly terrible embroidery. The country BURNED.

Powerful people were picked off, one by one.

And wouldn't you know it? A new star was rising from the chaos. A voice of reason. Charismatic. Driven. Handsome and powerful, with the bloodline to match. Conveniently allied already to all those people who had replaced the Old Guard in government! How very serendipitous. That those positions should just... open up, like that. That he just HAPPEN to have such qualified people at the ready.

What ARE the odds?

My House knew our monster know. We watched. Careful. As he smiled and smiled. One hand open in welcome, the other? Holding a knife, hidden just out of sight. The king saw him for what he was. And the monster saw a worthy foe in the king. They were, after all, both very Dangerous men.

It was likely swordsmen duel.

Deadly steel clashing, shining, swift as it dances, from attack to defend to attack again. Experience versus youth. Power against power. The king was an old dragon, stood against a tiger come to see him dead. And though the dance was breathtaking? In the end... the dragon was old. Tired. And not the man he had once been.

The tiger won.

The king died in his sleep. Of... natural causes. No one believed it. No one dared say otherwise. The crown princess ascended the throne. She had played the game well. Taken after her Father. Been neglected in favor of her idiot brothers. In the Story, she was to be married off. A side character never to be heard from again.

It seems she was not content with such a fate.

Now she was Queen.

My family and I applauded. Polite. I hoped it marked the end of the strangeness. So many had died. So much had changed. Surely... surely it was over, wasn't it? But then? In the cold light of the early morning hours? A letter. Pristine and on a fine paper. Sat like a viper upon the table before us. A bomb.

My Father had stared at it, over steepled hands, like if he glared long enough? It would simply catch fire and burn away. The Monster's crest. Pressed lovingly into the wax. What... what did That Man want with us?

I watched him grit him teeth. Run his letter opener through paper like he was imagining jerking it across flesh, slitting the bastards throat for DARING to threaten his family. I held my mother's hand as he read. Watched his grip on the pages go white knuckled.

He didn't even tell a servant to burn it.

He slammed his chair back, in a terrible fury, and marched straight to the nearest fireplace to consign the letter to the flames. Over his dead body. Was his announcement. I... I had a terrible feeling it might be, whatever was on those pages.

The letters kept coming.

My Father burned them all.

Then? Trouble started.

And I did not need to see history twice, to know how it would end. I got up early. Waited near the damn GATES. My Father could not burn the letter before I read it, if I was there first. It... it was a marriage proposal. I... I did not understand. Why? For what POSSIBLE reason would he...?

It did not matter though, ultimately. I would be saying yes.

For my family? Anything.

And so I packed. My Father knew he couldn't stop me. I was entirely too much his daughter. It was why he had burned the letters. I was doing exactly what he would have done. He vowed to kill him. Slowly. Held me a swore. He would make me the loviest widow to ever live. My Mother promised to go look up family recipes for poisons. For rats, of course.

I loved them so, so much.

I LOVE them even now.

It is why I sit, back straight, fragrant tea untouched, in this cold but beautiful receiving room. I wear my best dress. The one that makes me look coldly beautiful. Elegant but untouchable. I feel like a winter spirit in it. Something made of ice and bone. I wear it when I want to feel stronger. I don't know if it's helping.

If I hold myself still. Count my breathing and do not think. I can almost... ALMOST? Slip into a trance, I think. Let my mind unfocus. They are keeping me waiting. It's a power play. So be it. You will find me unaffected. Bored even, by your petty displays. I stare peacefully into nothing. A statue in a silent room.

I hope I fucking unnerve them.

Confident footsteps. How quite has it become, that I can hear them, even through the door? I do not turn my head. Note absent-mindedly that the tea before me has long grown cold. This whole damn place is cold. I dispise it. The door is opened for the master of this house. I pointedly do not greet him.

"Aaah~, So COLD" He sing song's, almost chiding, it'd be nearly playful if not for the hint of something darker threaded through his voice. He has an almost victorious little bounce to his step as he approaches. "But then again, I already knew that, didn't I? Frigid, untouchable, and unfeeling~ Now? Now you're MINE~"

He laughs. There is something half disbelieving, half euphoric in the noise. Like he's finally gotten everything he's ever wanted and doesn't know what to DO with himself. He invades my space. Looms. Eyes a touch too wide as he stares. Drinking in the sight of me sitting before him, like he can't believe it's real.

"Do you know, snowdrop? How long it TOOK? What I had to DO to achieve this? Ha ha!" The grin that spills across his feature is unhinged. All I can do is sit, tense and frozen before a madman, as he speaks. "The WHINING, the COMPLAINING, the 'what about meeeee'~! They never shut UP! Wretched and pathetic to the last, they panted after you like DOGS."

Hands slid from his pockets, to come to rest on either side of me on the arm rests, bracing and caging me in. Trapping me as he leaned down. Entirely too close. He smelled like winter air, sharp but clean. His eyes were a blue grey so hauntingly pale, they seemed to bore straight into the soul.

"But they were so GREEDY. So DESPERATE for power. It was EASY, to play them like fools against each other. Make them DANCE. And worth it. Because I get what I wanted~ The brat get her silly little throne, and you?" His grin was all teeth. One hand coming up to rest on my head. "Now you can NEVER escape me."

The hand slid, slow and fingers splayed, downwards. Possessive as each finger brushed, stroked, the side of my face. My jaw. My neck. His eyes following it down with something that could only be blatant lust. His grip tightened around my neck. Not enough to choke. Just, it seemed, to prove to himself that he COULD.

His thumb rest again my pulse, facinated.

Sliding back up to cup my chin, gently forcing my head up, so I had no choice but to meet his eyes. His eyes were dilated. I glared.

"I am going to RUIN you." He whispered, sounding entirely too reverent. As though it were some act of worship he had planned. "Take you apart at the seams. Pretty, pretty little thing. Mine, all mine~"

"I saw you first, you know. You couldn't even be bothered to look at me. I tried all night. That's when I KNEW. I was going to hunt you down. MAKE you mine. Marry you and destroy anyone and anything that stood in my way. And I DID~♡"

"I'm going to have each and every part of you, Darling. Love you and love you until you can't HELP but love me back. We are going to be BEAUTIFUL together. You don't have a choice~♡"

[coldinternetllama]

My thoughts on Maomao and her parents

Spoilers for Maomao's backstory and maybe for some future instances in the LNs. Also this is not a proper analysis, do not expect much structure, lol

One of the saddest things to me in this story is that Maomao probably craved Fengxian's love until the very end, regardless of what she is saying. After all, who wouldn't want to feel their own mother's love, right? Maomao keeps saying that she doesn't know how to love, however I believe this is simply a coping mechanism for her. We know that she loves Luomen, her sisters, the Granny, even Xiaolan and Loulan (yes, I do think she loved them). Hell, she also has "certain affections" for our beloved red flag, as she herself states in her mind. Yet she doesn't classify any of that as love proper. Instead, she comes back to the cut tip of her pinky and repeats her favorite phrase about how she left that feeling somewhere in the past. There where she also left her mother, who is now just the woman who gave birth to her. Still, she administered Fengxian's medicine time and time again. Still she set up the perfect opportunity for Lakan to find her. Still she danced for her under the night sky with a heavily injured leg. Still she bowed to her remains and played her last game of go for her. I don't think she had it in herself to love the woman who pushed her away, but part of Maomao wanted to love her, I believe. And to be loved back. Granted, Luomen and the women at Verdigris house did their best to raise Maomao, but it wasn't enough to replace what could have been.

If anything, our dear apothecary is probably more frustrated than anything. She doesn't hate her parents, no. I would go as far as to say that she actually feels bad for them ( I mean, who wouldn't). Of course, she would never admit that, which leads to her other coping mechanism, namely her extremely abrasive language when referring to Fengxian and Lakan (come on now, breeding mare and stallion? Girl, chill). She would rather feign indifference, lest she has to confront her feelings, which is her least favorite thing to do, as we know. After all, it's these two people's feelings that got them all to that state. If even such intelligent people could make such a blunder because of feelings, why would she want to feel love or be loved? This is also reflected in the scene where she is telling Jinshi that she wants to be executed with poison. Jinshi answers that he would never execute her. Maomao's answer? It doesn't matter what he wants to do, it only matters if he CAN do it. To me, this is a direct reference to her parents' story. Lakan wanted to be with Fengxian, but couldn't. Fengxian wanted to reach out to him, but couldn't. It all ended in ruin because of that damn feeling called love. Of course, this is also why Maomao just refuses to even consider that she can love (btw, I don't mean strictly one type of love, this is a very vast and complicated feeling with many facets, and I mean all of them here). So she simply claims that she doesn't, yet her actions tell a different story.

Now, I have never been in a similar situation, so I do not claim to know what a person like Maomao would truly think and feel of this. But I think that deep down she wonders what it would have been like to have been loved without being hurt. For her cries to have been met with warmth and not with silence. For her mother to have hugged her instead of having chased her away. And maybe Fengxian wanted the same, but knew that it was not possible. Maybe she was ashamed and disappointed in herself. What good would it be for that child to love her? The child, whose destiny might turn out not too different from her own. Indeed, in the end, no matter what anyone wanted, Fengxian could only become the woman who gave birth to Maomao. And Maomao could only learn to accept that.

[bengiyo]

The Trainee: Being An Adult Doesn’t Make You Inherently Functional

I watched episode 10 of The Trainee yesterday morning and had a great time with it. I’ve skimmed some of the…mixed…reactions to the Ba-Mhee storyline, and will get to those later (spoiler: I don’t think it’s inherently bad for her to go back to Tae). However, I want to get into this point that Jane made about how everyone in the company is dealing with some sort of screw up in their lives, and reflect on the internship as a whole.

Despite my investment in queer stories, I am primarily focused on this show as a workplace drama about a bunch of young people learning about their potential careers. Like @doublel27 I am glad that we’ve seen Ryan and Ba-Mhee find conviction in themselves over the course of this show. 

I know I was going to love this episode from the beginning when Jane went to see Ryan at home, and didn’t out him to his dad at all. Forever in love with Jane for presuming nothing and waiting for Ryan to take the lead. Later, I loved Jane noticing that the print shop has a similar workflow to the production house. This ties together Ryan’s recognition that he actually loves being a support player in his life. It’s what we all noticed about his role in the family business over two months ago, and it’s actually lovely to see Ryan recognize for himself that he does have some skills, and he does want to be proud of the work he does on a regular basis. I’m still hoping we return to Jane’s comments about letting go of his dreams, but I’m happy with where they are. 

I’ve loved seeing Pie blossom into a reliable team member that others go to when they need things, and I love seeing her not panic over small mistakes anymore. We got great comedy out of her tripping and spilling those papers all over the place, and the part I love the most is that Pie didn’t have a panic over it. It’s a simple thing that happens, and it was great that we didn’t have to worry about Pie. 

What we did have to worry about was Jane embarrassing himself. I’m glad @biochemjess pointed out how perfectly comedic Jane detailing everyone else’s shortcomings right as he and Ryan almost get caught flirting at work. 

As for Tae, I actually like that we see him struggling, especially since it’s been one week since he and Ba-Mhee broke up. I liked how he has been clearly working on rebuilding his independence and self-reliance since the breakup. He is feeding himself, he’s clean, and he’s completing his tasks as work. However, he’s heartbroken. It’s good that he tried to stay useful, and accepted the help of others when he was struggling. I also just really love the way Sea has played this character.

Following up the reveal that Jo is the head of the company, and that he and Pah have a lot in common, with Pah taking the lead to help Tae makes complete and total sense. It’s also clear he’s the one who’s probably doing the best at this internship thing. He’s made connections with almost everyone at the company, and quickly rallied everyone to put on a performance to help Tae attempt to reconcile with Ba-Mhee. At no point during that sequence did I doubt that everyone at that company was extra enough to participate. 

So, let’s talk about the big drama around Ba-Mhee choosing Tae. I have commented for weeks that I thought Judy was lacking in interiority for her to be a proper romantic lead. Though I liked seeing Ba-Mhee recognize that neither Judy nor Tae fit her, I agree with @peachblossomdrama that she doesn’t seem like she’s totally ready for long-term conflict management in her relationships. Still, like @burnsuncomet pointed out, they’re in their early 20s, and dealing with the first big stressor in their relationship. It’s not that surprising that Ba-Mhee would go back to the person she loves, and who she knows loves her. 

Like @lurkingshan, I was so relieved when Tae revealed that he hadn’t forgotten their anniversary and had made plans. Ba-Mhee has consistently assumed that Tae didn’t like her anymore because he was focused on his internship. I don’t think she did a great job of communicating her needs to him, and I don’t think he deserved to be cheated on for it (particularly because he hasn’t been the one pursuing a separate relationship). @neuroticbookworm did a great job covering the arc of what has gone on with Ba-Mhee, and I am with @twig-tea on recognizing that he needed to figure out how to exist independent of Ba-Mhee, that she has a right to choose who she wants to be with (including Judy), and assuring her that he will be present in the relationship in ways that are more accessible to her.

I will also say, for all the angst that’s being leveled against Tae, that boy has not once complained about Ba-Mhee to anyone, even when she was literally breaking hard drives at work to try to smother him. Meanwhile, Ba-Mhee is chatting with Pie and Judy almost daily about what Tae is and isn’t doing right. On top of that, the show was clear that Ba-Mhee is still going to be figuring out the newfound queerness she found in herself, and I think it’s important that on the “god forbid women do anything” age of the internet that we acknowledge that it’s okay for a bisexual woman to choose to stay with the boyfriend she loves and continue to work through that relationship (@waitmyturtles). I don’t think it’s baiting from the show to explore this, and I continue to lament that GMMTV has let us down so consistently on doing a solid GL plot that for so many folks this resolution is going to feel like a letdown and a betrayal (even though I don’t think the show set up any false expectations about this). I like Ba-Mhee’s arc of learning that she is good at things, and she can and should choose things for herself independent of her relationship. I also love that she learned from Judy’s behavior that being smothered by your lover isn’t a great experience! Whether she chooses to be with anyone in the future, this is a truly important thing for her to learn.

We are watching an office drama that contains romances in them. I love the way this show has the interns growing from their three-month experience in this company, and I’m excited to see how Jane (and hopefully Judy) are changed by this experience. With two episodes left, I’m curious to see if Jane will face his issues with Nine and giving up on being a director. I’m curious if we’ll see Judy talk to Jane about what happened with her and Ba-Mhee, because the fact that we’ve gotten zero interiority from Judy about dating her intern has bugged me. I’m hoping that the high school connection between Judy and Jane will pull through. 

I’m so glad that OffGun continue to work together, and I’m so happy they decided to take on a drama that doesn’t center a romance between them as the driving force of the narrative. Putting them in a show where you learn that being an adult is a perpetual project is probably my favorite thing from them ever.

[loveemagicpeace]

✨Aries Season✨

🔥Aries season will be fiery. We are already have mercury in aries so the communication is much more direct maybe a little aggressive. You can also get into the fight with someone so much quicker

🔥Aries is the first sign of zodiac sign it's all about the energy it's all about you . Aries is called to be very selfish because it's much more focused on themself than on others.

🔥Aries energy helps you believe in yourself and take confident action as a leader. Throughout this Aries season, ask yourself: How can you show up with confidence? Where do you need to show leadership? When do you need to take action? Fire is the vital spark, the soul, the life-force; it embodies risk-taking, leadership, passion, confidence, action, motivation, energy, and sparkle. Aries season is an excellent time to start a new job or hobby. You may choose to break a bad habit and begin a healthy one. It's time to hit the refresh button.

✨Mercury in Aries will remain in the sign of Aries until May 15. Mercury in Aries will bring a much more direct, open and fiery energy. They will speed up events and things will develop quickly. But you can quickly quarrel with someone or say something thoughtlessly.

🔥Aries will offer an opportunity for introspection, reflection, and reassessment. Aries energy encourages us to tap into our inner courage, assertiveness and independence. Use this time to reflect on your goals, desires and personal boundaries.

☁️Take it easy during Mercury retrograde, and particularly watch out for impulsive actions in the coming weeks. While Aries energy pushes for quick decisions, remember that it may cloud your judgment, leading to potentially hasty decisions.

🫧Have introspective conversations to ensure you're honoring yourself and your personal beliefs/truths. with people that you feel good energy. Ensure your voice is heard and express your thoughts. Aries is all about expressing your thoughts out loud. Don't force your beliefs or desires onto others and don't be with people who are too negative or angry. Don't jump to conclusions or make rash decisions based on immediate reactions. Mercury can sometimes make things look different than they really are.

🌙Rising Signs🌙

Aries Rising- mercury will be in your ist house. This will affect how you express yourself, behave, and your appearance. Identity and self-perception take the spotlight during this phase. You might feel the urge to revamp your appearance or refresh how you present yourself to the world. Patience isn't always your strongest suit, but it's crucial now more than ever. Take this time to pace yourself and avoid burning out.

Taurus Rising-During this period, your dreams, imagination, and intuition will be heightened. Your spirit is intricately connected to the universe, so prioritize activities like meditation or journaling to slow down and reflect. On the financial front, you may require careful attention during Mercury retrograde as there might be unexpected expenses or financial expenses or losses could arise, particularly if proper budgeting in planning are neglected.

Gemini Rising-you might experience a favorable outcome in your career. You could also see advancement such as job opportunities, promotions, or even the chances of traveling overseas with great job satisfaction, the dedication and hard work may be recognised by superiors, leading to support, appreciation, and possibly even promotions. It can also bring about better relationships. You can meet or see a friend whom you haven't seen for years. Be cautious of conflicts within your community and strive for autonomy without overstepping boundaries.

Cancer Rising-Sudden change such as transfers in the job may disrupt stability and cost dissatisfaction. Increased work pressure without recognition or appreciation may lead to frustration, and some individuals may even have the possibility of job loss. But you could result in increased expenses and limited opportunities for earning. Maybe there are some things here that are related to the family or the father. Practice patience with your colleagues and yourself.

Leo Rising-New job opportunities might be possible for you during this period and due to this success may also be easily possible. During this period, you will have a good potential to meet with immense success and you will also have more efficiency in your work area. If you are in business will gain good popularity and money as luck is going to favor you completely. It can also mean some sort of spiritual journey. Be cautious when traveling or embarking on trips-while it's not forbidden, proceed with care. You might begin to question your beliefs, which is crucial for personal growth.

Virgo Rising- During this time, you might uncover some deep-seated traumas or hidden aspects of yourself. There might be lack of satisfaction and acknowledgement in your professional endeavors leading to concerns about job performance. This Mercury retrograde encourages you to examine what's holding you back from progress. 8th house is also about soul bonding, intimacy.

Libra Rising- While some might experience setbacks and lack success others might find exciting job prospects abroad, offering them a sense of fulfillment and joy. Mercury may bring mixed outcomes with a balance of expense and gains. Opportunities for financial gains. Business contracts, in particular, might be problematic, so it's crucial to thoroughly review all paperwork before signing. Be extra considerate towards your partner if you're married.

Scorpio Rising- During this Mercury retrograde, you might find yourself feeling sluggish, so it's important to slow down your pace. This could mean scaling back on work commitments, easing up at the gym, or taking extra care to avoid getting sick. Spend some time in nature particularly near plants and trees to ground yourself. Do things that don't burden you.

Sagittarius Rising-might experience tension in relationships, particularly concerning your children and family matters. Additional issues within the family may arise causing you stress. Navigating relationship challenges requires excellent communication and patience. Watch out for old flames resurfacing, Use this time to reflect on matters related to your passions. Don't indulge recklessly during this period, but do take time for yourself to reconnect with what brings you happiness.

Capricorn Rising- Patience is key to avoid unnecessary stress during this time. Many things have to do with you and the things you do. It is good not to open too many demanding and difficult conversations, because you will not feel that they are leading and you will only end up disappointed. Consider how you give and receive information. Maybe you will go somewhere or meet more people.

Aquarius Rising- there is a strong possibility of success with opportunities for promotion and salary hike. Overall, this period holds promise for career advancement and success. This period presents opportunities for growth and financial stability in your business endeavors. On the relationship front, you are likely to enjoy success in maintaining a harmonious relationship. During this period, effective communication with your life partners can contribute to a positive personal life.

Pisces Rising- you may experience tremendous peace and understanding with life partners and family members. Strong connections and perfect understanding have the potential to increase happiness and pleasure in personal relationships. This transit brings another wave of change. It's time to reassess your relationship with material possessions and finances. Don't waste money on unnecessary things.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah💕🦋💍

[oldiesstationlover11607]

Bullies - Peter Parker x fem!reader

Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None! Super fluffy <3

Word Count:

Description: Peter comforts reader after a hard day at school. It can be any Peter btw but I imagined it as Tom :)

Peter knew things at school weren’t good. They never had been. I had six weeks left before I graduated and we’d been counting down the days together, despite being at different schools. Peter was the smart scientific boy who I’d met at the library and I was the music obsessed girl who was brutally bullied for who I was. I’d been shoved up against a locker before my English class by Carson, the boy who was committed to ruining my life. I had banged my head badly and was sent to the nurse’s office after passing out in the lesson. My mom had been called and I was sent home. After watching a couple episodes of (your favorite tv show), there was a sharp knock at my window. Spider Boy. Peter. I stumbled out of bed to unlock and open the window so he could come inside. 

“What are you doing in bed?” he asked, crawling in next to me. I rubbed my eyes, hoping the throbbing sensation would stop. 

“I came home from school early. Had a headache,” I muttered. He knew full well I never got headaches, which was reflected by the conflicted look on his face. 

“Tell me the truth y/n, why are you in bed at 3:00?” I tried to figure out a decent lie but had absolutely nothing. Maybe I’d fallen down some stairs, maybe I’d accidentally broken my nose in dodgeball. He wouldn’t believe that, he knew I never showed up to phys ed. 

“Remember how I told you about Carson?”

“Oh so that’s why you currently have a black eye and a half,” he seethed. Well guess that answered the question of whether I looked as bad as I felt. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“I’d rather not,” I responded, cuddling closer to him. His arm was around my shoulders, body turned into mine.

“Did he hurt you?” Of course he hurt me. No one else would’ve done this to me. 

“I just said I don’t want to talk about it,” I looked up into his glowing brown eyes, not able to tell if he was worried or raging. 

“Fine, we don’t have to talk about it. But just know Spiderman is going to have a very stern conversation with Mr Carson,” Peter spoke with severe clarity, “he’s not going to hurt you again y/n.” I knew he meant what he had said. We sat there in silence while my computer continued to play (your favorite tv show). He watched the episode with me, occasionally asking questions so he could catch up. Once the episode ended I turned off my computer and put some music on. 

“How was school today Pete?” I asked. School was much easier for him, his teachers actually cared, he had his friends MJ and Ned, and he didn’t need to study to get an A. 

“Not too bad, we’re just getting ready for finals and prepping grad stuff, y’know,” he explained. I nodded, excited for the short period of time we had left before college. 

“What time do you have to get home?” Aunt May always knew Peter was at my house, but she had standards, especially knowing Peter was Spiderman, and a high schooler. 

“Like 10:30, we’ve got time,” he pressed a kiss to my temples and ran his fingers through my hair. I could feel the tension in the air, I wanted so desperately to cry over the day, over how much pain I was in. 

“I’m going to hurt you y/n. I’m going to hurt you as much as I can. And once school is out I’m going to fucking kill you,” Carson had whispered into my ear as he pressed me into the lockers. I could still feel the padlock being pressed into my back. My eyes started to water and a few tears slipped onto Peter’s shirt. 

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” He sat up and held me back so he could get a proper look at my face. I shook my head, letting the floodgates slip.

“H-he told me he was going to kill me Peter. I can’t go back there,” I sobbed. He pulled me in close, his forehead resting against mine. 

“He won’t lay another hand on you ever again. I mean it y/n.” I could feel the tension in his body. 

“You promise?” I cupped his jaw, my fingers resting behind his ear. 

“I promise. I’ve got you.”

//

Please submit any requests y'all have! I love to write so let me know if you've got any!

@urmykindofwoman let me know if you like this! I haven't written to Peter in a wee bit

[jewish-vents]

i finally got up the energy to watch the john oliver segment on the west bank (i normally like his stuff/opinions but anything about i/p is such a fucking landmine for me these days) and by the end of it my fiancé who was sitting next to me was like “we can stop. we can turn it off if it’s making you this mad” but i was so rage-invested that i watched until the end.

i HATE that the entire segment is ostensibly about the current status quo in the west bank (judea and samaria for anybody with any historical fucking knowledge of the area) and never mentions the palestinian authority ONCE. he accuses israel of apartheid as if they are the only people with any control over what happens in the west bank and as if the pa is like. a fairytale that doesn’t actually exist and have real sovereign powers over their areas in the west bank. it’s so gross!! it made me feel so gross!! because without discussing the pas role in the current status quo (or even WHY the current status quo is the way that it is) you CANT have a real conversation about the west bank. it’s just so disingenuous. you can criticize what is happening there without presenting a one-sided narrative that only addresses israel’s role and places all the blame on them. he DID mention the 6 day war but FAILED to mention WHY it was fought/who it was actually fought with, making it seem like israel just attacked the poor palestinians and annexed their land for no reason!! not because they were attacked by multiple surrounding countries on the holiest day of our fucking year!! mentioning that or even acknowledging israelis as having any humanity apparently makes you one of (((them)))

there were a lot of moments that were good, and then so many that were thinly veiled condescension towards any jewish audience members—like he DID mention christian zionists and how gross they can be, and then essentially chastised jews for taking support from them?? which. ok buddy that’s not really an issue you’ve demonstrated yourself qualified to speak on. i know my synagogue works with a local christian zionist organization and it’s probably because who the fuck else is willing to help us!!! really!!! you point out that our only allies don’t actually want to help us (like we don’t fucking know that) without an OUNCE of reflection as to WHY jews might be working with people who openly state that they want us to be converted by j. chrizzy during the rapture. you don’t have to tell us why that’s bad we fucking know!! please call me up when you have any other organizations with money and political power in the us who are willing to do even the slightest fucking thing to assist jewish communities!! i’ll die waiting!!

it’s just. the lack of concern for presenting a nuanced depiction of what is happening in the west bank all while pretending to be presenting a nuanced and well-researched (lmao) depiction of the west back. yes they did some things right (citing israeli sources, finding israeli and palestinian people talking about it instead of secondary sources, no al j. in sight) and that actually makes me ANGRIER because it shows that they could have spent the proper time breaking this down! they clearly have the research skill for this over there! there is NO WAY, in all their time spent on b’tselem (source they actually cited which i was impressed by considering i didn’t know non jewish americans knew abt them) that they didn’t run across a single article about the pas role in the current status quo in the west bank. you can’t break down what areas a b and c are without also understanding the pas role in that. there’s just so much that’s not there that should be and it’s so infuriating because you know that it was a choice. they know about the pa. they know why the wall was built and why the checkpoints are in place. they just don’t fucking care. he cites the number of israelis killed in a period of years and then points out that ten times that number of palestinians were killed in the same timeframe. which is so gross!! let’s not compare piles of corpses to determine moral superiority thanks!! and presenting those numbers devoid of any context other than “many of them [palestinians] were killed by israeli security forces” only serves to minimize israeli suffering and concern for their safety while ALSO minimizing legitimate palestinian suffering by lumping in victims of anti-arab hate crimes with terrorists killed by the military. it’s gross and patronizing and for all the jokes he makes about shit he can’t talk about as a british american he is sure running his fucking mouth

i just wish people would stop trying to condense this conflict down into something that’s easily digestible and consumable in less than 30 minutes. there are horrible people on both sides and refusing to acknowledge that stops the conversation before it can start. all this did was further villainize israel in the minds of armchair expert leftists (since john is like a king to them) and contribute absolutely nothing meaningful or interesting to the conversation. it’s just regurgitated uncontextualized pseudo intellectual bullshit. i’m an english teacher i can sniff a pile when i see one. i rlly wish leftists would just. leave us alone already. new year is coming up and i’m trying to find it in my heart to forgive you know? but fuck that. i’m so sick of goyim talking down to us about this issue while simultaneously being the most misinformed fucks (whether by choice or sheer stupidity) to walk g-ds green earth. i guess i’m just tired.

.

[curio-queries]

ARE YOU SURE?!

Episode 4 production Notes

Again, I genuinely didn't think I'd have anything to say at this point about this episode. I had such a good time the first time I watched it, just smiling the whole way through. There is one thing that did stick in my brain a little bit though so here I am again with another post.

Episode Break Points

We honestly can't be making any final conclusions at this point but there is starting to emerge a picture of how the production team approached the development of this show as an episodic release. The question that was rattling around my brain after watching episode 4 was how they are choosing their cut points between episodes. We really only have three data points right now which is not enough to definitively identify their intent but it does start to paint the picture a little bit. Sometimes, the break point is beyond obvious, like cutting ep.2 at the end of the USA trip. But when there's not a definitive line, a choice has to be made when to bring one episode to a close and start another.

Some shows use the changing of the day as a break point but that's not necessarily always the best choice to make for the narrative of the show. For example, the break between eps 1 and 2 is in the morning after JK has his coffee and makes the stone tower. This better served the momentum of the episode and wrapped up the story beat of JM's rough night. Ep 2 then starts on a high note with JK's motorbike ride. In my opinion, this was an excellent choice as we close ep.1 feeling all cozy and ep.2 begins with a little bit of excitement.

A Look Back

So why am I bringing this up now? It's because I was so confused as the choice of when to break these two episodes. I don't know if I've decided if it was good/bad/somewhere-in-between but I absolutely was not expecting Episode 4 to start the way it did. Ep 3 ends at the Go Karts and feels like a complete story beat. While ep 4 starts with the drive to the Omakase.

To me, it feels like we're picking up on the last remains of the previous episode and not starting a new section. Which is honestly, kind of counterintuitive. Why would it feel like that? They're literally on their way to the next activity. I suspect it has more to do with the tonal momentum. The guys are still coming down from all of the energy they expended from Rock Climbing and racing and are having a well-deserved relaxing drive. Even the brief moments we see of JK on the motorbike are quite chill. (mostly because there's not really a great way to get action footage on a bike in the dark lol).

So...to see if I could support my suspicion, or if I was just bringing something else into my viewing experience, I decided to rewatch the whole series so far and rank every story beat on a scale for how energetic/intense I felt the narrative was supporting.

A couple of notes before you judge my rankings:

This data is the very definition of subjective. if I redid this same exercise even the next day, I'm sure I would disagree with myself on certain rankings so you certainly don't have to agree with my rankings.

If a storybeat had a noticeable tonal shift, I entered it twice and included both rankings. If it just varied a bit, I entered a ranking more representative of the scene as a whole.

This won't be reflective of the time occupied by each story beat. Some sections are longer than others but with sustained energy so it doesn't translate in this visual representation how much of an impact on the overall tone of the episode any one of these are.

I also added a star at the end of each episode of my median scores. I feel that this was a better representation of the overall tone of each episode rather than an average but that's just my personal view on this teeny dataset. Please don't come for me analytics folks! This is just a post for funzies, not proper analysis!

So What?

The point was curious about is in the gap between eps 3 & 4. Everywhere else there's a pretty clear shift in the start and end of the energy but that gap looks like it was just a step that was missed in what could have been a continual episode.

Here are the runtimes of each episode so far:

USA: 56 min

USA: 72 Min

Jeju: 56 min

Jeju: 70 min

I don't have any conclusions about why it was done this way other than they felt the tonal break was the sacrifice for keeping the Omakase story line in tact. Which honestly, I agree. There would have been time to include the drive in the previous episode but it would have left us on an unfinished storybeat. This is one of the reasons that we never get footage of the members return trip from their travel shows. Bon Voyage ends every episode with the members remarking on the trip overall. Even though we know they have to return home, we don't see it because that would start to build energy for whatever they're doing next and not the story of their trip.

Even in ITS1 when the members do return home in the middle, we see them packing up and getting in the cars but the episode ends before they really start traveling. (Actually it ends before they even let Jin in the car so they're definitely not on their way yet!)

Commercials?

I have a question for anyone that's watching this with ads. I don't really watch streaming content so I'm curious, do the ad breaks just randomly occur? Or does it seem like they're intentionally scheduled? Building story breaks for commercials was a huge focus of legacy tv and I'd be interested to learn more about how streaming services are incorporating it (not enough to not have commercials though, I get insta-rage when the content I'm consuming is interrupted lol). I vaguely remember getting frustrated when I was attempting to watch something at my parent's over the holidays but I don't recall if it seemed structured or not.

That's it. That's all I've got to say right now. We're definitely getting a lot more to the story of this show and I'm absolutely loving it. I'm going to be away for a bit next week and I honestly don't know when I'll fit in watching episode 5 but I'm very much looking forward to it!

If you've seen this post and are interested in some more of my thoughts on Are You Sure, here's a link to my AYS MasterList. Still can't believe I've rambled so much about this show but it's been fun! Thanks to everyone that's been rambling with me!

[r0semultiverse]

Hey, Jake & Jack fans, is this anything?

Both men imprisoned (literal & metaphorical).

Both offered an out from their current predicament by an outside force (arguably in the case of Brain Ghost Dirk).

Both have loose ties to Lord English visually.

Yellow initial glow & Gamzee involvement too.

Sometimes a guy just needs to explode (same pose too).

Both dual wielding weapons.

That same said weapon type (for Jack Noir) having killed Jane Crocker.

It's really looking like Jake is going to do her in.

I would also like to point out that we've had interactions involving these three (Jane, Jake, and Brain Ghost Dirk) before that consisted of similar topics & themes.

Brain Ghost Dirk implying that he's just there as moral support, a manifestation of Jake's powers, and as a coping mechanism. Jane also talking about ruling an empire with him while talking down to him, similar to how she saw and/or still sees him in Beyond Canon's Candy timeline. Jake also being uncertain about doing anything to harm her despite all the bad things she's doing.

Brain Ghost Dirk going away tells us that Jake's more hopeful than he's ever been. This is the moment where he is the most sure of his decisions than he's ever been in his life, whatever those decisions may be in regards to Jane and how to handle this situation.

He is probably going to shoot Jane down, quite literally. I would also argue that after all this time, the lad isn't beating the Lord English allegations. We might as well have a parallel of him killing Jane much like how Jack Noir killed her right before he got possessed by Lil Cal & given some of Lord English's immense power.

Alternatively maybe we'll get to see what the power of hope or hope bullets can do to someone whose done so much wrong & come so far off the deep end in terms of moral wrongdoings. Maybe with every shot that hits her, she'll begin to be swayed to the side of good & start to self-reflect.

I'm still not fully convinced that Gamzee actually cured Tavros' peanut allergy, I mean just look at the panel.

This could absolutely be interpreted as Jake injecting his hope power into the epipen and by proxy injecting both his power & the epipen into his son! If younger Jake is strong enough to defeat Grimbark Jade, then adult Jake might just be strong enough to defeat a peanut allergy is all I'm saying! In fact, now that I'm rambling about it, this seems like the more likely outcome is Jake's hope power swaying or (in the very least) confusing Jane mid-fight. Hope bullets, they would look cool & would be pretty strong!

The power of believing in others & wanting things to change can be a strong tool indeed, Mister English.

If there's one person who still believes in changing Jane's mind (or bringing her back to proper canonicity depending on how you interpret the recent lore), it would be Jake English, the believer.

Okay, maybe this is something! Tally ho!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

idk if this is something you would answer but how do you unlearn shame of being horny 😵‍💫

hi anon,

this is a complex question. unlearning shame of any kind can take a long time to sort out, and will be driven more by internal work you do to challenge and shift your own thinking than by anything else.

a good place to start may be by doing some reflection as to what you find shameful about being horny in the first place and working back from there to recognize sexuality and desire as morally neutral things.

for instance, I get a fair number of people asking if it's okay to think about real people that they know when they're horny, or masturbate to fantasies about those people. they feel a lot of shame about this, as if they're causing harm to these people by imagining them in sexual scenarios. but making up funny little scenarios in your head to nut to is a harmless act that only you will ever know about. it's not like whipping out your dick (gender neutral) and masturbating at strangers on public transit; what you do to get off in your private time only impacts you.

a problem would only arise if you decided to start treating your real, actual acquaintance, not the imaginary sexy version of them, differently, for instance by making untoward comments about their body, treating them as if they are obligated to be interested in spending time together or having sex with you, or, god forbid, telling them in detail about your sexual fantasies. now you're doing sexual harassment, which is inappropriate because of the hurt and discomfort is causes the recipient. being horny isn't the problem here, it's how you're treating another person.

people also feel a lot of shame around many other types of fantasies, especially if they involve dynamics that are off-limits or illegal in real life. often, the worry seems to be that being aroused by these imagined scenarios is akin to expressing support for these things to happen in real life.

listen: sexual fantasies about rape are some of the most commonly reported among cis women, and that's not because tons and tons of cis women secretly think that rape is a cool thing that should happen more. the people playing Baldur's Gate 3 and fucking Halsin while he's wildshaped into a bear aren't all chomping at the bit to commit a sex crime against a real animal. noticing that "teenage" characters on TV played by actors in their 20s and 30s are hot does not make anyone a pedophile. fiction is a safe realm to explore and enjoy things that we would never in a million years want to see happen in real life. I love Batman, but I can assure you I would not be a happy camper if a real-life billionaire started running around doing vigilantism in a fursuit while endangering a gaggle of teenage sidekicks.

and if you want to explore some of the stuff you're into in real life, awesome! great! there are ways to go about negotiating a lot of different kinks safely and responsibly (although probably not the bear thing, sorry about that). the world is full of people who want the experience of being stalked, beat up, kidnapped, and sexually assaulted - all mediated through pre-negotiated arrangements with people that they have chosen to enact these fantasies with them. so what is there to be ashamed of in that situation? sure, the situation you're engaging in might sound scary without proper context, but so do a lot of things. a stranger cutting open my skin, very likely causing bleeding, and leaving me with a mark that I'll have for the rest of my life sounds scary, and it definitely would be if it wasn't a situation that I agreed to! but that's also what getting a tattoo is, and that's an experience that I love so much that I pay for the pleasure. nothing to feel bad about there as long as you're playing safely!

listen: there's nothing wrong with being horny. the human sex drive is a completely natural one born from biological need that makes getting off feel good. there's no more sense in feeling shame about being horny than there is in feeling shame about being hungry or needing rest, although people do of course manage to feel bad about those as well. regardless of what causes it, when you feel the shame well up you have to push back on it and ask yourself who actually directly benefits from you feeling badly about yourself in that moment, and who is actually tangibly hurt by the actions you're shaming. and if the answer is "no one," move it along!

[pearlywritings]

It all started with the heels

synopsis: Sampo Koski can equally be the greatest help and the worst nightmare while helping you get dressed.

prompt: 19

requested by: a lovely anon

pairing: Sampo Koski x fem!reader

tw: suggestive, established relationship, kind of switch!Sampo

word count: 1.2k+ words in total

a/n: check my Token of appreciation writing event!

“Can’t believe the Supreme Guardian is finally hosting a grand gathering. How many years has passed since the last party of any kind, twenty?”

“Come on, Sampo, I am sure some happened not so long ago,” you lightly chide him, looking at your reflection in the vanity mirror. For a moment his indigo hair is in your sight behind the shoulder, but you chose to ignore him, more concentrated on an earring fitting. “Besides, you weren’t on this planet twenty years ago, were you?” “Huhu, you never know, my dear! Even if I weren’t, I have the information,” the tone of his voice deepens just as it always does when he’s either smug or just very proud of his own deeds. Well, he does know his ways of getting anything he has his eyes on. Just like those invitations to the ball in the Overworld you are currently getting ready for.

“Can you promise not to cause too much havoc?” You hear him hum, half-interested and half-unconvinced. “Sampo Koski, I am serious. I am well aware that you’ve planned all of this to get your hands onto something, but either don’t drag me into it or change your plans right now and stay by my side.”

Checking the necklace and making sure that the lock is on the back of your neck, you finally turn to the man fully and rise from the stool. In all honesty you won’t be too disappointed if he decides to carry on with his initial plans and you’ll be left to yourself for the rest of the evening. Sure it would be much more entertaining if his nevershutting mouth was always near your ear either showering you with compliments or dishing anyone present in that low, borderline seductive voice of his, but just going out and showing off the amazing attire he managed to snatch for you doesn’t sound too bad at all. Maybe you’ll even strike a conversation with Lady Bronya and make acquaintance with her - to rub the fact into the conman’s face later, of course.

“Woah, I must admit, that looking like that you have all the chances to chain me to your side, beautiful,” an appreciative whistle is deserved - a glimmery one-shoulder with a long slitted skirt hugs your body magnificently, as if tailored specifically for you. And it seems to you that Sampo’s eyes savor every bared inch of your body. “Mmm, putting you on a leash sounds quite fitting. Look at you, salivating at the sight of me. You truly have no shame, Koski.”

“How can I have any when such a gorgeous woman stands just five feet away,” just saying that he shortens it to two. Today his fringe is even more frolicking, perfume is more enticing, the hip windows are gone, regrettably, but in exchange you get a nice chest window with the first two buttons of his shirt undone. He looks hella good in red and black. Maybe you should try and get him to wear lipstick to match…

“So, no disguise, hm?” “We have invitations and we will be there to enjoy our time. Why would I want to hide? I’ll let Gepard Landau burn a hole in me for as long as he wants to, it’s not like he has any motive to kick me out.”

“I bet he has. The first one is out of spite.”

“No, no, this man is too proper to do something out of spite,” Sampo reaches to the box on the chair at the side of the vanity table and fishes for a pair of heels, perfect for your dress.

“So, a good boy then? Maybe you should introduce us,” you charmingly smile, sparking a scandalized expression on your partner’s face.

“Don’t wound me like that, my dear! I am your good boy.”

“Sure you are, Koski. So prove it and get on your knees to help me.”

You’ve never seen a man so readily drop onto the floor and reach for a woman’s ankle. He carefully moves the hem of your dress away and leads your feet into the delicate shoe, wrapping the little belt snuggly, but not too tight, fastening the clasp. All the while he is huffing and complaining about you treating the poor Sampo so unfairly, but in the moment you could care less for his words, eyes fixed on those big and strong fingers, handling something so thin and delicate with expertise. Even more diverting they are because you know the many things they are capable of - from the tricks to aid his field of work to the unholy actions people usually don’t speak out loud.

Fuck, if you keep thinking like that you’ll have to ditch the gathering altogether.

“I am wondering,” the honeyed voice snaps you out of your starting to turn dirty thoughts, and you move your gaze to the smirking face, “what could be so distracting that you couldn’t hear my voice anymore? And I asked you a question…”

You have half a mind not to tell him the truth just to tease him, but, judging by the imps dancing in his emerald eyes, he’s already aware.

So all you can is close your eyes and sigh.

“Your hands, what else,” you put the already clad foot down and, balancing on it, slip your other one into the second shoe. “So, what was the question?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing of much importance. Just asking for permission to kiss that pretty thigh.”

“Huh?” Opening your eyes, you stare down at him. The realization hits you - because of the slit your leg is on full display for the man at your feet. And he wants to kiss your thigh? Oh well, he was a good boy for you, after all, you suppose you can allow it.

“Sure, I don’t mind. But finish with the shoe first.”

“All done already.”

You expected for his lips to simply touch beneath where the slit starts, but suddenly one hand of his is on your ass cheek to steady you, the other grabbing your leg under the knee and lifting it. Releasing a surprised gasp, you have to clasp a hand on your mouth to prevent a little moan from escaping when his mouth latches onto the inside of your thigh, sucking a mark onto the skin.

“S-sampo, what the hell-!”

“Mmm, not only you’ve granted me such pleasure, but it seems you’ve worn my favorite pair too,” he tugs the skirt aside even more, admiring the lacy panties, licking his lips. “Maybe you’ll also let me get a taste?” “You horny bastard!” You fume, pushing his head away, getting even angrier when he laughs. At least he lets go of your leg and allows you to take a step back.

“Aaand you’ve just convinced me to ditch my plans and stay by your side the whole night,” he slowly stands up, dusting his pants and giving you a blinding grin. “Won’t stop thinking of that hickie I’ve just given you. Oh, I am gonna have such a great time, whispering in your ear all the things I’m going to do to you after the ball… With my hands, of course, since you find yourself fascinated with them so much.”

You groan. He’s truly decided to test your limits tonight. Sure, you probably started first with your little fantasies back there, but you weren't the one who put some of them into action...

Well, then - two can play that game, and you are going to give that man a raging boner before he manages to get you two a room.

[theoddest1]

with how the fans and even viv being VERY excited with the “visuals” of poison it’s was very clear that the intended purpose of having those scenes was for porn. Why else would viv be excited for SA scenes and make a cum joke? Not dismissing any SA survivors that felt seen or represented through Angel. I think the bar scene where Angel has a breakdown is good I just hate how they kinda swept everything he said under the rug for a musical, with the episode ending on a happy note and were told not shown that he gets better.

That’s why people kept bringing up moral Orel, silent hill 2 and tuca and Bertie as good SA rep because the abuse is NEVER shown were told or it’s heavily implied it was the aftermath that was shown, nurse bendy is hyper sexual in public but she secretly hates, is lonely and regresses into a little girl playing family with stuffed animals when she’s in her safe space. Angela is depressed/suicidal her only hope is to find her mother so things can get better but she never finds her mom and it’s implied Angela dies, Tuca and struggled with her sexuality and sexual trauma even feels ashamed about having intrusive fantasies of her abuser and thinks that after being SA’d but she is complete control of those situations and it’s her way o healing and even if she wasn’t SA’d she’d still be into those fantasies. It’s too early to say anything about Angel character it might change in season 2 and actually talk more about his trauma especially since the vees are gonna be more prominent (which I call bs because they said the exact same thing about Adam and he didn’t do shit, he only showed up in 3 episodes and he was so underwhelming plus he was the 2nd most powerful being in the show, idk what vox and Val are gonna bring to the table expect be stupid wannabe “mean girls”, plus lute is still around and she is by more powerful and interesing villain) but we have to wait and see, right now I’m indifferent to Angel he’s not a bad character but he’s not the best, sir pentious and nifty outshined him and everybody else, they were the best characters, and they were just joke characters

Viv is very, very obvious with what she seeks involving Angel Dust's character arc. She sees it as an opportunity to recreate a similar situation to Raph's animatic, a 3rd person view surrounding Angel's dilemma rather than Vox's. It's paraded around as though it's a tragic "Love Song" but there is no proper or meaningful way to convey the tragedy surrounding it all. It's an elaborate kink video for those who indulge those sorts of subjects. As you've mentioned, some other known media have handled the topic with much care and didn'tshow it, but this time around, this could have been a great time to make useful imagery to show just how awful the entire situation is. But we don't get that. All of it is glamorized in a pop song with neon lights and no subversion of one's expectations. The only time we are shown any blunt and saddening imagery is when Angel is passed around in bindage gear. The colors change and turn red, and we are faced with a strikingly blunt reality of the situation, but we then see Angel dancing in front of his situation, whiplash of the seriousness pertaining to it all. And while the pacing is better in this episode than most, it's still FAST.

So on top of everything we have a rushed pop song that's supposed to engage the audience in a mindset regarding SA to further think and discuss but it only aided in fueling kink culture and no one has had any strong meaningful discussions when it is about that entire sequence but the kinks sure are THRIVING! Imo, the fact that this side of the community got more outta this than those who love to discuss stories reflects on how unserious and sexual Viv saw it to be, and THAT is what makes Viv's shit representation bad. The remix only solidifies what I had assumed this entire song to sound like. It fails to be commentary, only fuel for a kink someone has, and NEARLY EVERYONE in the community is letting it slide cause of that.

[korya-elana]

We need to treat each other better.

I called out someone for spreading hatred in the CDD tags again yesterday, as one does. We all know how we're supposed to tag here to make the site accessible for everyone.

But this time was ... different. I have not yet blocked this person and I really hope they see it. After a couple of back and forths, the person in question went to our profile to intentionally grab information to hurt us and then slapped us with:

"See the thing is I know your whole thing is that you’re a actual proper system & your partner is an endo (sorry for that particular trauma whether you love them & cherish them or whatever that’s still fucked!)"

Aren't ... aren't you just tired? Listen. I get it. Sometimes we get triggered and lash out. We're all highly traumatized people and sometimes we make bad choices. I know we've been called out a few times by Systems we respect for being too heavy handed. None of us are perfect.

But let me put this into perspective for you. This kind of shit? Attacking my partner and making them out to be a horrible person who constantly traumatizes me? That's the kind of shit my heavily abusive ex-fiance used to do after we left him and he started stalking us. This is not and will never be an acceptable way to treat another person. Going out of your way to harm another person just to make yourself feel superior is abuse.

The people that we communicate with on tumblr are not faceless. And the fact of the matter is that, off the internet, endos and CDDs DO interact and have friendships and relationships. Syscourse on tumblr is not a representation of the larger reality. Everyone really needs to take a second to breath before they start going off REGARDLESS OF STANCE. That's not a random, faceless algorithm. That is another person, likely just as traumatized as you, struggling just as much as you. In pain just as much as you. Does it make you feel good to hurt other people? Maybe take some time to reflect on that, particularly given many CDD System's origins.

[cocogum]

IDK if you brought it up.

But one thing I noticed is that in season 4 when Yugo, Amalia, and the Eliatrope goddess where together, his mother kind of (softly) physically got between them.

I think... Ep 2 or 3 (idk): when Yugo is watching Amalia mourn her father and wants to jump down and support her, she pulls him away. Though it was a good move, Amalia needed to be alone/with her brother. Ep 11: when Amalia calls out to Yugo and he looks at her and seemingly wants to go to her--the goddess turns him towards her. ...these are the only examples but they're there.

To me, I think it was to show blood-family vs found-family. His relationship with the Eliatrope goddess isn't even as close to deep as it is with Amalia, Percedal, Ruel, Alibert, and Eva. Even Yugo said it himself, he feels at home with Alibert (and his friends).

By the end when the goddess wanted to leave the planet with all of her eliatropes (Yugo included), Yugo chose to stay and fight with his found family.

As someone once said (before someone else twisted it), "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

Just something that came to mind after rewatching the entire season in English sub.

(If you can, you can add the clips/GIFs) because IDK how to do that.

I love how you interpreted those scenes because that’s exactly what it was implying.

Back when Yugo wanted to intervene in Amalia’s private moment (yes it was episode 3), I didn’t think much about how the Eliatrope goddess had pushed him away from her because Amalia did deserve the privacy so it was normal for his mother to be like “your bae is in pain right now and it’s kinda your fault a bit for pulling her away from her dad so come here”.

But now that we’ve seen episode 11, yeah no it’s clear that she was only trying to cut off Yugo from the others.

Like the way she did it was so sudden too cuz she just ruined Yugo and Amalia’s reunion. The others had proper moments where see them reacting and conversing with Yugo when they realized he grew up (Ruel and the Percedal family).

But with Amalia, you can’t help but feel like it was going to go somewhere before it suddenly got cut short because his mother butt in. You can even see how her hair hides the others from Yugo! The only reason why Joris didn’t get cut off like the others was because he was standing on the opposite side.

Like I get that she’s supposed to not mind his friends (since she had no problem addressing them as ‘his friends’ at some point) but the Eliatrope goddess really reminds me of a clingy mother who can’t stop hogging her kids. And because of this bad habit of hers, we can also see how her relationships with her kids reflect their distinct dynamics with her:

Yugo is that one kid who wants to be independent but can’t do anything because his mother thinks he can’t survive without her.

Qilby is that one kid who’s greatly dependent on his mother to shower him with love and affection. He sees her as the only source of light in this world who can give him what he needs. A perfect mama’s boy that every needy mom wished to have.

Nora is that one kid who, just like Yugo, recognizes her mother’s flaws but instead tries to help her by shouldering all the responsibilities on herself. Being the voice of reason in the family, the balance.

Efrim is the one who knows his mother’s imperfections and hates her for it because he’s aware that she comes first before her children.

Adamaï is that one forgotten kid. That’s it. He doesn’t get some love as much as Yugo. And doesn’t get mentioned by his mother as much as Nora and Qilby.

She’s literally the embodiment of love but because of her flaw, she’s depicted as the wrong kind of love, the one that’s too clingy, too overprotective, too suffocating.

[imtrashraccoon]

heyyy…. I will submit my “Don’t imagine” now,

I sent you an ask previously explaining kinda my idea..so I was wondering if I could get a ballroom scene? Nobles are very judgmental and even someone as carefree as Ivy can get insecure.

and we know how much noble woman enjoy gossip, she gets in a bit of a pickle.

Also she’s bad at dancing (but that’s a given)

Ooh! Ballroom scenes are sooo good! I will write a proper one another time but for now, here's a few crumbs. (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

Don't imagine being the palace gardener for Emperor Nightmare and how you regularly have to use magic to keep the plants alive to counteract your master's latent negative aura. How excited you were to be permitted to attend the grand ball since you'd never been to one before. How you put on your best dress and begged one of the maids to help with your makeup.

Don't imagine the thrill that courses through your veins as the first of the guests arrive and how magnificent they are dressed. How scrumptious the banquet tastes and how you can't possibly try everything on offer. How the light from the chandeliers reflects off of the glassware as if they were made of diamonds.

Don't imagine how the music swells and the dance floor comes alive with a flurry of happy couples. How you can only look on in awe at how graceful their movements are, knowing that you could never keep up with them. How you wish that you could join in the fun if you had a partner.

Don't imagine standing off in a corner not knowing what to do with yourself. How you feel frumpy and out of place among all these important people. How you are positive that some of the women are gossiping about you and how many have given you odd looks the whole evening.

Don't imagine how the room falls silent when Nightmare finally makes an appearance. How he barely spares anyone a glance as he makes his way onto the dance floor. How you overhear one of the gossipy women wondering if he'll actually ask someone to dance this time. How he blatantly ignores the few brave enough to try asking him and how you turn your gaze away, knowing that he'd never consider someone as unimportant as you.

Don't imagine hearing someone approach and looking up, only to be shocked when it's him. How he considers you for a moment and how you wish the floor would swallow you up to spare you from this humiliation. How you can hear whispering from the other guests and how he seems to frown when he notices as well.

Don't imagine how Nightmare extends his hand and asks you to dance. How you can't possibly refuse him with everyone's eyes on you. How you meekly take his hand and let him guide you towards the dance floor

Don't imagine how he places his other hand on your hip and leads you in a slow waltz. How you nearly trip over your own feet but he skillfully steadies you. Definitely don't imagine how he leans closer and how he quietly tells you to look at him. How his permanent sneer seems to lift when you do so and how he almost seems happy in this moment.

Don't imagine how quickly you both become lost in the moment. How the other guests seem to fade away and how you can only see him. How his eyelight seems to flicker with an unknown emotion and how his grip tightens ever so slightly. How you start to actually have fun again.

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