#the first one was 3 pages long and went into more detail before and after | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

creamflix · 2 months ago

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beta test, please vote after you finish reading <3 — comment to be on taglist sukuna x female reader; slight parasocial relationship, but not unhealthy. pathetic fanboy sukuna. implied nsfw. social media au. age gap (just a few years), micro celebrity!reader. sukuna and yuuji are siblings (this is not like the persephone au! , neither does it take place in that universe.) — masterlist here ☆

sukuna was a grown man.

he’d seen and done it all, yet here he was, shutting himself in his room each night with an anticipation that made him feel downright ridiculous.

the worst part? he couldn’t even convince himself that he was “just curious.”

no — he was full-on, unapologetically addicted to this catgirl v-tuber.

you were cute, sure, but there was something about your laugh, the way you teased the chat, and the coy “nya~” you’d slip in for your fans that made his chest tighten in ways he couldn’t explain.

it started with just the streams.

every night at 7 pm, he’d settle into his setup, headphones on, notifications silenced, watching with bated breath as your broadcast went live. soon, he found himself going back to watch old streams too, combing through your entire backlog, pausing and rewinding whenever you said something particularly funny or leaned a bit closer to the camera. one night, he even found himself tearing up from laughter after a stream. “just another dumb anime girl act,” he grumbled under his breath. but he knew he was lying.

from there, things escalated.

first, his phone wallpaper. it was innocent at first — just a cute fanart of you he’d saved from twitter, with your typical big eyes, little cat fangs, and a cute paw pose. but then he found another piece of fanart that depicted you a little more… suggestively, gazing up at him with a teasing expression. soon, his lock screen was updated too, and he’d spend a little too long staring at it whenever he unlocked his phone.

he’d downloaded tiktok just to keep up with you, scrolling through endless clips of you laughing, playing, doing ridiculous challenges, and interacting with fans. his feed became nothing but you: funny edits of you, mashups of your catchphrases, top-ten lists of your best moments, the works. the tiktoks got him hooked on the fan community too, leading him to join fan pages, where he found even more fanart and memes to add to his ever-growing collection.

then came the commissions.

he’d been reluctant at first, feeling a bit silly about spending his money this way, but the thought of having a one-of-a-kind piece of art with both him and his virtual “crush” had a strange allure. he’d commission artists with detailed instructions: some pieces were tame, just you and him looking like a couple, maybe holding hands or with your head on his shoulder. but soon, he wanted… more.

in no time, he had folders hidden on his pc stuffed with images of the two of you in every possible scenario he could imagine: from romantic dates to downright scandalous positions, each illustration making him fall harder. even worse, he’d catch himself going back to admire them during breaks at work, sometimes finding himself grinning stupidly at the screen before he remembered where he was.

he’d tell himself this was the last time he’d pay for custom art. but then he’d see another piece, something that captured you just right — your cat ears tilted just so, or your coy smile — and he’d open up another commission request, cursing himself while also feeling an absurd amount of excitement.

then came your announcement of the face reveal at the v-tuber convention. the convention, where all the biggest creators would be gathering. in that instant, he didn’t even think — he just whipped out his credit card and booked VIP tickets, securing his spot to see you in person, the girl who’d managed to crawl into his brain and camp out there. and it wasn’t just any pass. no, sukuna shelled out for the meet-and-greet package, even prepped some things he wanted to say to you when he finally met you face-to-face.

the day arrived, and he was among the first to get there, looking around at the crowds of fans in full cosplay, armed with merch. nerds, he thought, scoffing to himself, but inside, he felt a strange kinship with them. he’d even secretly bought a little catgirl keychain with your likeness the day before, hiding it in his pocket and glancing at it throughout the day as he waited.

finally, the moment came, and the venue darkened, the countdown flashing on the screen. sukuna’s heart raced as the seconds ticked down. this was it — he’d finally see the real you.

when you stepped out onto the stage, all smiles, looking around at the crowd, sukuna’s grin widened, until his eyes settled on your face and his stomach dropped.

“s-sukuna?” you stammered, locking eyes with him from across the room. you stared in shock, your face morphing from excitement to pure, unfiltered confusion.

this wasn’t just some random girl.

it was… yuuji’s girlfriend.

his mind whirled as realization sank in. oh god.

oh god, no.

his brain replayed every fanboyish thing he’d done, every lewd image, every custom art piece with his younger brother’s girlfriend. every obsessive habit hit him at once, and he could practically feel the waves of secondhand embarrassment smacking him in the face.

your eyes narrowed in disbelief, recognition settling in. “you’re my… biggest fanboy?” you exclaimed, barely managing to keep the shock out of your voice.

sukuna’s face burned with embarrassment as he let out a low, forced chuckle, desperately trying to keep his cool. “y-you’ve gotta be kidding me…” he muttered under his breath, feeling his dignity crumble. trying to salvage any shred of pride, he cleared his throat. “listen, kid, don’t get any ideas. this was just… research, yeah? figured i’d see what the hype was about.”

you stared at him, utterly unconvinced, before bursting into laughter. “you’re my biggest fanboy?”

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kalki-tarot · 1 year ago

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Your first Kiss with them 🎧🍷💕

Pick a picture, my beautiful souls ♡

Pictures are taken from Pinterest.

This may not resonate with everyone. I'll use tarot and my own intuition so take what resonates and leave the rest. Don't force anything and this is just for entertainment purposes. This reading will be very specific </3

Do not steal/copy my work. Strict action(s) would be taken against you.

More pick a pile readings !

Pile 1

Death, the devil, 7 swords, 10 pentacles, the sun, ace of swords, 9 wands, 4 pentacles, queen of swords (bottom of deck)

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

Right off the bat, pile 1. I sense you fear intimacy or being close with anyone in general. Maybe due to past experiences? Someone maybe forced you in the past or took advantage of you. I'm really sorry if that happened to you. So, now you've developed a fear of getting so close or vulnerable with anyone.

Pile 2 also has messages for you.

Your first kiss will happen after you've let go of certain fears. You may hesitate at first, but of course, it'll happen with your consent. You may get flashes of the past but you'll stand strong and let them kiss you or vice versa. This kiss will mark a new beginning as it'll signify the fears finally leaving your soul & mind.

The kiss will feel soft and fresh, like a warm summer breeze. It'll make you both happy. You'll feel content and comfortable while it happens. You will feel as you're in your power, finally. The kiss will be smooth. It can happen during the day or under the sunlight. I'm even getting a beach for some of you. It'll be overall fantastic as per your choice.

Reblog this post to claim it!

Pile 2

Death rx, page of cups, the star, 9 wands, 2 swords, six of cups, the world, 10 swords rx (bottom of deck)

This feels like a fantasy! The kiss will happen just like the way you imagine it lol. Statight outta your dreams. It'll be wet and sloppy, can use lots of tounge play(?) Idk guys I'm not experienced in these kinda things 💀😭 but It'll definitely give you butterflies in the stomach.

This will be memorable kiss, even after some years you'll still remember every bit of the detail and be nostalgic about it. This can happen outside or even at a place that's far away from your home. Like while traveling or something?

You may be combating an inevitable change while this happens. Like there's a message for you to change, change the way you've been doing things all the time. Change the way you think. Don't resist change.

Let's come back to the moment of yours, the kiss will be very romantic and emotional . A little bit playful also. I'm getting biting the lips and teasing a lot. This feels like a long kiss. This will take place at a place where there aren't many people around.

It will help you release negative thoughts and feelings you've been holding all this time. So good luck with that!

Reblog this post to claim it!

Pile 3

10 cups, strength, 9 wands, the fool, 4 swords, 5 swords, page of pentacles, 2 of wands.

Cute! Your first kiss may take place in a garden or a forest where you went to travel or camp or smth. I feel like the kiss will be initiated by the feminine energy in the connection. The kiss will make you feel young and vibrant. Your heart will race a lot. It may happen on a risky place like in the public or where someone can watch or catch you.

But the feelings would be so intense and magical. You'll be drawn towards eachother like magnets. I see a height difference between you guys.

You may have a fight before this happens, and suddenly the overwhelming feelings take over and you guys kiss. You both will literally surrender yourselves to one another. Very intimate and passionate energy.

This moment will be shocking or unexpected but you'll definitely like it!

Reblog this post to claim it!

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drakulana · 1 year ago

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all it was // law x reader

this is the part two to the first spark. i definitely recommend reading that one first. read part one here!

part 3

content: fem! reader, more sloooooow burn

wc: 4.2k

༺☆༻

The crew had been preparing for departure all day. A day full of running checks and tests on all the engines and reactors within the ship. A day spent in a small boiler room with crewmates, having no choice but to shove past one another in the narrow halls, mumbling quick apologies to one another. It took five long hours to run all the tests, and they still weren’t done. They still had to start up all the generators along with actually turning on the reactors. They hadn’t even started warming up the engine room yet. Normally, they wouldn’t take this long to depart, but when given the opportunity their captain made it mandatory to run all of the checks and tests to the furthest extent. Trafalgar Law was not one to cut corners, and for once, they were not pressed for time.

The boiler room was humid and stuffy. (Y/n) was standing shoulder to shoulder, sandwiched in between Penguin and Shachi as they worked on the turbine's connection to the nuclear reactor, an assembly line formed between them. One soldering wires, one tightening bolts, and one looking over everyone’s work to make sure no mistakes were made. There was no room for error when working on machinery that was heavily relied upon. Once they were done with one part of the turbine, they’d move onto another while a fourth person would come in to look over to make sure nothing was missed. This went on for about an hour and a half, until they were finally done. However, (Y/n) still had lots of work to do.

She had spent a week and a half on the pestilent Bronze Island gathering up all the information she could. From citizens, to landmarks. Countless hours of talking to locals, gathering double the amount of information for both her and her captain. The past week and half was filled with sleepless nights where she spent organizing all of her information, trying her best to keep quiet while she snuck off to an empty corner of the submarine. She had worked hard, and she still wasn’t done with all of her work. She made her way up to her quarters to gather up all of her things while pondering on where she wanted to do her work. She needed some place quiet. While pondering over where she was going to work tonight, a memory played back in her mind. If you ever need a place to hide, don’t hesitate to come in here to read or to finish your research. Her captain’s offer rang through her head, however, he had been scarce within the past week. Only ever mumbling a soft acknowledgment whenever accidentally brushing elbows in the narrow halls. He was busy, she knew that, and she wasn’t going to be the one to disturb him. She would hate to be a nuisance, and no matter how oddly comforting his presence was, she was not going to be selfish when it came to his time. It was not her place to do so.

(Y/n) was exhausted, but she could not get herself to abandon her pen for just one night. She was already in the zone. Why spoil the tenacity? Walking through the mostly empty halls, she found herself in the kitchen. It was quiet, it had better lighting than the library, and was more comforting than the metal walls in her bunk. She settled into the chair and spread out her papers, eventually getting lost within her work. Pages upon pages, scrawled across in shorthand cursive. Ink smeared slightly on the edges of some of the paper, some in better shape than the others. (Y/n) paid no mind to the misspelled words, or the messy handwriting, these were rough drafts after all, and she had no plan to show them to anyone.

It was maybe an hour before her exhaustion started to catch up to her, all the information of Bronze Island becoming one big daydream about the island. The work they did there, the people she met, all the new little details about a place she had only ever researched before were still fresh on her mind, ready to be recorded in those notes of hers. It wasn’t long into her small reverie that her captain had wormed himself into her mind. This was not the first time, and she knew it certainly was not the last. He had a way of appearing in her thoughts, her mind always coming up with a way to bring him to the forefront. Although she had to admit the thought of him was nice, it was distracting. It was inappropriate. It was unprofessional. It was many things, but why had none of the moral obstructions present stop her from indulging in her thoughts.

She would be lying if she said that she didn’t entertain these thoughts late at night. She’d be lying if she said that she hadn’t thought about him in ways that she shouldn’t have been thinking about her captain. How his golden eyes caught in the light, gleaming like fine jewelry. How he carried himself with such conviction, and how his predominant intelligence seemed to exude from him. There was also a dark air around him, a dangerous one. One that she found too enticing for her own good. One that shouldn't draw her closer, shouldn’t leave her wanting to understand what was under the surface. She would tell herself that it was her curious nature, alway wanting to record facts about certain people. Yeah, that’s all it was. She would reason with herself every time. It wasn’t at all the way he still seemed to look good no matter how much sleep he missed. It wasn’t the dominant energy around him, that gave everyone a reminder on why he was in charge. It wasn’t the way his commands, and comments towards her made her stomach turn, and mind wander. She was only interested for research purposes. Yeah, that’s all it was.

༺☆༻

On the other side of the ship sat Trafalgar Law. He was working on recording all the samples that he had made on the island. The steady grumble of the engines vibrated through the walls. It was comforting for them to be back to sea once again. It made him feel better to know all the checks and tests had been run on their ship before they had left as well. His crew had worked hard, and he was proud of them. It was days like this he was grateful for each and everyone of them. After all, what is a captain without his crew? He let himself feel proud for once. It was a rare feeling, he never liked to indulge himself in such petty things, like pride. Pride made a man reckless. Pride was a damning distraction. Distractions were not the kind of thing Trafalgar Law liked to mess with, not when he had goals that he had not yet accomplished. Tonight though, he let himself feel the tiniest miniscule of pride for his crew. He let himself revel in the thoughts of every single one of his crew members, but one just kept sticking out to him. (Y/n). He told himself it was because she was still newer to the crew. She was new, and had this amazing drive for new information. Her knowledge was astonishing. He would tell himself that these thoughts were strictly professional, and not at all personally rooted in the feeling that he would get when she called him Captain. It wasn’t at all the way her eyes lit up whenever he asked her about something she was writing about. It wasn’t at all the way that her cheeks would tinge pink whenever he would give her an order. He was simply just proud of his crew member. Tonight, he was letting himself feel a little proud. That’s all it was.

The praise never stayed long when he allowed himself to feel such things. Whenever thoughts like this would arise too much for his own liking, he would bury himself in more of his work. He didn’t have time to concern himself with superficial feelings. Law stared at the pages in front of him. The recorded data was written in that same pretty cursive handwriting that had seemed to scrawl across his mind from time to time. Against his will, the owner of the handwriting was now back at the front of his mind. Two weeks ago, Law had offered his space to her. Fourteen days and she had yet to take him up on his offer. Not that he was counting. Part of him was thankful for that. Thankful that he wouldn’t have to confront the warm bubbling feeling he would get in her presence. Grateful he could ignore the electricity that would course through his limbs whenever the two brushed against each other by accident in the narrow hallways. He could ignore the way her laugh harmoniously bounced off the walls in the common area while conversing with her crewmates. He could ignore how their gazes were usually held for a second too long. On the other hand, something nagged him deep down. Thoughts of regret towards the offer threatened to arise, but whenever they did, he found himself burying himself into more of his work. The papers on his desk had remained twice as high in the past fortnight. Books were more scattered than usual. Crumpled up papers with ink smears fell around his desk. Every now and then, his mind would drift to (Y/n) and he would find himself stalling his work, staring at a page for far too long. Tracing the arches and curves of her letters and words within her work. It unnerved Law how undisciplined his mind had been lately, and over a crew member of all things. He huffed to himself and looked over at the clock that was hanging on the steel wall. 11 p.m. He needed a break, opting to go get a cup of coffee to wake him up.

In Law’s book, 11 p.m. was hardly late. His crew turned in earlier than usual, leaving the cold corridors of the submarine empty. He made his way into the kitchen of the submarine, only to find the woman who had been taking up his mind for the past two weeks. She was sitting there at the table, papers laid out in front of her as she wrote short handedly on her notes. A small pang of odd discomfort settled when he realized she had opted to do work here rather than in the quietness of his office with him, like he had offered. The feeling quickly went away whenever she raised her head and peered up at him with her pretty eyes that always seemed to captivate him, as of lately. A small smile graced her lips as she noticed it was her captain. There it was again, the odd warm feeling that he seemed to get around her. “Good evening, captain,” she said warmly. “I see you have emerged,” she teased him. Law had been cooped up in his office for nearly a week, not counting the times he had to leave, like to eat or go to the bathroom. It wasn’t unusual for Law to work in his office for days on end, everyone knew that. Law stalked over to the woman who was sitting at the table, “What’re you working on?” he asked her, picking up a paper that had been pushed to the side. He examined the paper, holding it in between his fingers. Little doodles adorned the corners of the page, and messy shorthand was scribbled onto the lines. Information about the island that they had just departed from about a week ago. (Y/n) studied his movements closely, he had never seen the rough drafts of her work, just the edited and refined versions. “Just adding some information about Bronze Island,” she replied as she watched his face closely as he analyzed the paper. The rough draft of research was not something she shared. From corner to corner, the pages were filled with messy shorthand, and various notes in the margins while tiny doodles adorned the spaces in the corners. She was very nervous for her captain to see these. She watched as his face remained still as ever, the only movement were his golden eyes. After a few anxious moments, he laid the paper down, “This is very good work, I can’t wait to see it when it’s done.” His praise was rare. A small smile broke out onto her face.

“Thank you, captain,” she beamed up at him, grateful for his praise. Law nodded at her, walking away from her to fix himself a cup of coffee. He stood in front of the coffee pot, glancing over his shoulder at the girl sitting at the table, papers spread out in front of her. “Would you like a cup of coffee?” He broke the silence in the kitchen. She thought for a second. A coffee would probably wake her up enough to get to the stopping point she had planned to. She peered up at her captain, “I would like that, thank you.”

Law continued brewing the coffee, pouring two cups as (Y/n) made her way towards him. He handed her the cup of coffee, their fingertips brushing. A familiar warm feeling bloomed within the both of them, the same one they had been trying to push away. They locked eyes as everything seemed to stand still. A silence fell around both of them. The mere few seconds felt like hours. As quickly as the feeling came, it went, and they pulled their gazes away. (Y/n) took her coffee and made it the way that she liked, Law opting for black. Predictable, she thought to herself. They stood there in the comfortable silence, before Law spoke up. “I am working on the trials we ran on the island, I could use some of your notes, would you come to my office with me?” He asked her. Her eyes locked his once again, that twinkle he had found all too beguiling present in her irises. “Yes! Let me just grab my things,” She beamed, “Here, hold this,” She placed the coffee cup in his hand before turning to grab her things. She gathered up all her papers in her arms, and all her pens, denying any help that Law had to offer as they made their way to his office.

Law’s office was dimly lit, the only light coming from a lamp in the corner of the room. It was bright enough to illuminate the workspace, but not bright enough to spread to the corners of the room. It was cold in his room, probably to aid him in staying awake if she had to guess. His desk was stacked high with papers and books. Crumpled up pieces of paper scattered around his desk, not enough to make his office too messy, but enough to be noticed. In the right corner of the room was Law’s bookshelf, lined with books, mostly medical, but a few novels scattered throughout. (Y/n) wondered what kind of novels the Surgeon of Death liked to indulge in reading. She couldn’t fathom him reading anything of fiction. In the corner of the room was her captain's bed. The blankets were thrown to the foot of the bed, while two pillows propped up on each other at the top. (Y/n) pulled her gaze away from all the furniture and how it was set up in his quarters, and set her things down. She took the papers that contained all the information she had and spread them out in front of her. She looked up at her captain, “So, where are we starting?” She asked him.

“Let’s start with the sample records you recorded the other day,” He said. They had collected a bunch of samples from the island they were visiting. These samples ranged from swabs of sidewalks and door handles, to buccal and nasal swabs from willing citizens. Law had been culturing the virus over the past few days, checking up on it every hour to see how it was developing. No wonder the man hadn’t gotten any sleep. Law constantly worked, it brought him a sort of peace. It was something he had complete control over. He rarely let anyone assist him if unneeded. Everyone on the crew knew that.

Y/n took out the data that she had collected from the culturing virus in the lab, flipping through the pages to make sure she included everything. As she flipped, her finger glided across one of the edges of the paper. A sharp pain traveled through her finger causing her to yank her hand back from the stack of papers. Muttering a curse under her breath, she laid the pack of papers in front of Law before looking down at the finger that had started to ooze red. “I’m sorry, excuse me for a second,” she said as she stood up from her seat. Before she could make her way to the door, Law stopped her with a gentle, “Let me see.” Hesitantly, Y/n reached towards Law as he took her hand to examine the measly paper cut that hardly needed a bandaid. As Law reached to hold her hand, butterflies erupted within her stomach. A heat rose to her cheeks, and she looked away. Law didn’t miss her reaction, but he didn’t say a word cause he was dealing with his own stomach flipping. He kicked himself, telling him that there was no reason to give such notice to something as small and ordinary as a papercut. He blamed the doctor within him for his following actions. Opening a drawer in his desk, Law pulled out a small first-aid kit. It contained antiseptic, bandages, and antibiotic ointments. Y/n started to protest, “Captain, that’s really not nec-” she started, but being cut off by her own hiss as he poured antiseptic on the papercut, paying no mind to her protests. “You don’t want to lose your finger to an infection, do you?” He asked her, as he cleaned her wound. She hissed at the cold sting from the antiseptic. “I hardly think anyone has ever lost their finger to a papercut,” She mused, as he added some antibacterial ointment and wrapped her finger in a bandaid. Law gazed up at her, catching her eyes that reflected the light of the small desk lamp. In that moment he could’ve sworn he was putting a band-aid on the finger of an angel, not that he would ever admit to that. He quickly pushed the thought away before replying, “You’d be surprised at the results of an untreated cut. Even the smallest ones can fester into a nasty infection,” He told her, as she gazed back at him. She held his golden gaze, pink still resting in her cheeks.

A small smile broke out onto her face, “Well, thank you doctor. Whatever would I do without you?” She teased him. It had been a while since she had shown her playful side to him. He secretly wished that she would do it more. Law’s usual smirk crept up, “You would have no fingers,” He played along, “It’d be bad to have my researcher have no fingers, how would you record all the data I need?” He paused, “Besides, don’t you need these to write your book?” He held up her fingers between his inked one before gently letting them go.

“So I’m a useful asset to you?” She asked him, her tone still playful, however the question held some truth in it. She had worried she wasn’t enough for this crew. She remembered the words Law had said to her when he asked her to join. Your knowledge outweighs your weakness. However, not a day went by where she didn’t think that she was a burden. Her strength did not match the crew’s, and no matter how hard she trained, her work always seemed to get in the way of her actually improving. She knew she was the weak link, and she knew her captain knew that too. Law looked up at her, furrowing his eyebrows. The joking was now over, “You’re not an asset, you’re a member of my crew,” he said seriously, “I wouldn’t let anyone I didn’t think was worthy onto this submarine. Each and every one of my crew members has their strengths and weaknesses. Just cause you’re not out on the battlefield doesn’t mean you’re not valuable. You’re a very hard worker. Having you around takes a lot of my workload off. You’re more than needed around here,” He assured her. A small smile came back onto her face. Seeing her smile at his words did something inside of him. Something he wasn’t sure if he should indulge in. Something that made him want to whisper sweet praise to her if that’s what it took to make her smile like that all the time. It took a few moments of them standing in front of each other for them to realize how long they had been looking at each other. Law cleared his throat before pulling away, pushing down all the rising feelings again. It was unprofessional. It wasn’t right to feel these things. Law had to pull himself together.

༺☆༻

After about two hours of going through data, the caffeine had started to wear off and drowsiness started to creep in. Law was unyielding when it came to his work, never stopping for more than a few minutes before delving right back into the research. An unwelcome yawn ripped through Y/n’s system. Law noticed this, and he knew she had been working more lately trying to get all the data recorded on top of adding all the information she had gathered for her book. “Y/n, you can go to bed, it’s almost 3:30.” He had told her with a sincere tone. Y/n shook her head at him, “No, it’s okay, I can keep working,” she assured him before looking back down at her page. Truth was, she was exhausted and felt as if she could hardly keep her eyes open, but she didn’t want to seem like she couldn’t keep up. Just a few more minutes, she thought to herself. The sound of the clock on the wall was almost hypnotizing as it aided in lulling her into closing her eyes. I’ll just rest my eyes for a second, she told herself as she let her eyes close, propping her head up with her hand, still holding her pen in her dominant one. The chair she was sitting in was hardly comfortable, but right now it felt as if it had become one of the coziest places on earth. A few seconds turned into a few minutes. A few minutes turned into her letting the darkness of sleep welcome her. Law looked up at her when he heard her breaths start to become slower, and deeper. He let himself study her for a minute. He watched as her chest rose and fell with her soft breaths, her hair falling across her face as one of her hands propped up her head. He stood up and made his way in front of her to wake her. He gently reached out to shake her, almost feeling bad for having to wake her. He didn’t want to disturb her peace, he knew she had been putting in a lot of extra work lately. He could tell she hadn’t been getting any good sleep since their arrival to the island. His tattooed hand gently gripped her shoulder, giving her a light shake. He whispered her name a few times, but to no avail, she was out cold. Law gently shook his head as he contemplated his next moves. He didn’t want to leave her asleep in the chair, she would surely be sore in the morning, however the thought of carrying her to her bedroom was quickly written off. The crew would never relent if one of them saw, even if it was late at night, you never knew who could be awake wandering the halls. Law glanced over at his bed, and then back at the sleeping woman. He gently reached down and removed the pen and notebook from her hands, setting it on the desk in front of her. He was careful, but was sure of the fact that she wasn’t waking up when she didn’t so much as stir at the sudden absence of the items she was holding. Law hesitantly scooped her out of the chair before laying her down in his bed, covering her up with his blanket, letting her head rest on his pillow. He stood there and stared for a minute, selfishly reveling in how she looked in his bed. He knew it was strange behavior for him. He’d never let anyone fall asleep in his office, let alone move their sleeping body to his own personal bed. He mulled over his decision for a split second, and then did what he did best. Ignored the gnawing feeling, and buried himself in his work for the hundredth time that week. He ignored the small breaths and snores that left her body. He ignored the warm feeling that rose whenever he looked over at her. He had to remind himself, she was a part of his crew. He was her superior. He brushed off the unprofessional thoughts. She was his subordinate and that’s all it was.

@drakulana 2024 // i do not give permission to copy, translate, or repost without my consent

taglist: @pinksaiyans , @buttmishaaaa

lmk if you would like to be added to the taglist!

#one piece #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece fan fiction #one piece fan fic #one piece x reader #trafalgar #trafalgardwaterlaw #heart pirates #law trafalgar #traflagar law

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meimi-haneoka · 10 months ago

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Special Chapter: Comments and Analysis

WELCOME BACK, CCS FAAAAAAAAAAAANSSS!!!!!

Oh my god 3 months went already by from that December 1st and chapter 80, didn't they?? Feels like yesterday 🙈But we're finally here, finally ready for the release of the definitive, last SPECIAL CHAPTER of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!!!! After this, no more CCS for at least a while!!

Why do you see me so euphoric?? WELL, THERE IS MORE THAN ONE VERY GOOD REASON 😂 But let's not jump the gun and let's introduce this post properly: this time around, I won't be posting pictures to "illustrate" the analysis/commentary, because this special chapter was treated differently from the other ones. It didn't get, in fact, a free release on CLAMP's Youtube channel, in any language, and wasn't even uploaded for digital purchase on Comic Days like all the rest of the chapters. The only way to obtain it was via the April issue of Nakayoshi, either with the physical or digital version. Since it is clear to me their intention to keep this gem of a special chapter away from the internet jungle, and since lately I used only the screenshots from Youtube to illustrate my analysis, this time around I won't be posting anything (aside from the color page, which was released by the official account themselves).

AND! I won't be mixing analysis and summary, because I have already conveniently prepared some screenshots with a detailed summary of the chapter for the people who were curious to know, but didn't get to see the chapter yet or did see it but couldn't read Japanese. I have already posted these screenshots on my Twitter account, and I'll put them here too under the cut (please don't repost them around or in other social media), so you can immediately get a broad view on the content of the chapter (I don't have to point out translation mistakes, haha 😅), and then, afterwards, I'll write my commentary. And there is SO MUCH to say!!

But before starting, we can't break the tradition right at the LAST ROUND of our chapter commentaries, right?? So off we go, with the GIF OF THE MONTH!!

Yes, I think this is the GIF that can represent this chapter the most. 😂

The Color Page

This special chapter is composed of 33 pages, and of course I can't avoid starting my commentary precisely from the color page!!

I admit it, I hoped for a color spread with the four main characters of Clear Card (hence, including Kaito and Akiho too), but since the other two appeared with their own color page just in chapter 79, we'll gladly take this single color page with SyaoSaku too!! ❤️ The JP text reads "We've been together till now, and we will always be! Featuring a long-awaited special chapter!!" Syaosaku look absolutely adorable....and so, so happy!! Looking at us, from a wreath made of cherry blossoms, of course dressed in their image colors pink and green, in a "pair look"...I think their shiny smiles conquered the hearts of the entire fandom (saw many comments about it) and it is certainly a perfect introduction to a chapter that is, indeed, completely made of this happy, leisurely, warm atmosphere. I feel like it tastes even better, after all the anxiety they made us go through, right? I'm pretty sure that was CLAMP's goal all along, giving us this little reward after all the hard situations they've put their characters through. This color page looks like Sakura and Syaoran are saying "goodbye" to us, holding their hands in a lover's hold, but seeing them so cute and happy definitely soothes the sad feeling 🥲 Until we meet again...hopefully!

Letters From Around The World

But it's when the chapter starts that we get our first surprise: the time skip is of one entire year!!! We left our little heroes at the end of the first year of Tomoeda Middle school, ready to go in spring break and then start the second year...here, Sakura says she's in her spring break of the next year, ready to become a 9th grader!!! I almost couldn't believe they actually went that far, I knew from CLAMP's podcast that there was a timeskip, but I expected just some months! Although....I have to say the characters don't look that different, Mokona said she made them a tiny bit older and she kept true to that, because it's barely visible! 🤭 But if you compare them with how they looked at the middle of the story, of course the difference is visible.

I was so happy to see that the chapter started right away with a letter from Akiho: a letter or a videocall was definitely among the type of content I wanted to see in this chapter, because of course I still was quite preoccupied about the difficult journey Akiho and Kaito embarked on, so I wanted to see how they were faring. The amount of letters Sakura accumulated over the span of this year tells me that they moved around quite a lot, and she had always something to share with her "long-distance sister" 🤭 Kero praising Akiho's skills and even feeling some sort of "reverence" for her insane talent to find all the crazy and rare books was so funny and nice!! 😂Sakura is adorable, feeling all proud about the talent of her "sister" 🤭 Loved that they actually mentioned the place where Akiho and Kaito are currently at!! (cause they didn't reveal where they'd go first, in chapter 80, and I guess we'll never know). I appreciated SO SO much that they let us see that Akiho didn't drop, but actually continued to practice her sewing skills like she was doing before everything went down the drain with the Alice in Clockland play: moreover, finding out later that this skill is also helping her greatly with the true ambition of her life made me incredibly satisfied. How cute of her to send outfits for Kero and Suppy, even from far away??

I was quite surprised to find out that Akiho sends all the rare books to Eriol, and then laughed my as* off at Kero saying he's selling them off (the way Kero phrases it in JP makes it look a QUITE shady activity 😂). This shows there's a continued collaboration between the "group" in England and YunaAki, and it's very nice. They're not only "taking" support from Eriol, Akiho also does return the favor, providing Eriol with the books he needs.

And then....got really emotional to know that Kaito wrote a letter to Sakura, back when they left one year ago 🥲 I DID feel like some kind of acknowledgement or apology from Kaito to Sakura was missing from chapter 80 (but honestly, with everything they had to explain, where they could fit that?) and so this little mention completely fixed that sense of "he made a mess and barely managed to apologize to Akiho before leaving". Kaito isn't an ass*ole so of course he would've done something like that, and a letter seems perfect for an introvert boy of few words like him. I imagine the letter wasn't really long either. The little moon on the sealing wax...❤️The fact that Sakura is storing that single letter together with Akiho's letters in a specific box makes me almost cry. She cares for those two so, so much! 😭 Sakura wishes to receive more letters from Kaito and I really hope he will open up to her along the way, because he could benefit ENORMOUSLY from her advices and perspective! Also THANK YOU CLAMP for giving us a little "still" of those two next to eachother from the moment when they were leaving Tomoeda, with the suitcases and all 🥲that last faraway shot of all four of them together in chapter 80 was so great, but I wanted to see them like this too!

The SyaoSaku Date

Aaaaaand then we get to the long awaited, craved, coveted SYAOSAKU DATE!!! 🤣 I can't count how many people I've seen wishing for this....to be honest I was going to be ok with any kind of sweet moment between the two, but gotta admit that a carefree afternoon watching a stage play and then taking refreshment at a café gives this sense of normal, complete fun that was missing a bit for them. They are dressed in a very fancy way (loved that Sakura isn't wearing her usual long one-pieces but something different, with puff shorts! A sign of her growing up?) and even though they're not exactly wearing a "pair look" (too corny, maybe?), they are well matching eachother's outfits. And of course we find out that Tomoyo made Sakura's cute outfit and even the decorations on Syaoran's collar! The fact she was the one asking Syaoran to wear them at the date is kinda funny, like some sort of guidance into looking like a couple, thanks to the matching decorations! Tomoyo really takes care of everything....yes....everything. 🥲 The mention of Sakura's wedding dress of course made me go "OH MY GOD" and made me realize that if Tomoyo is already mentioning that.......we aren't *that* far away from that day (I always imagined SyaoSaku marrying early, since they're soulmates and got together so young!! 😆). Truly an emotional, sweet moment that was reinforced by Tomoyo's tender expression in the flashback. Her resolution to devote herself to learn to design even normal everyday outfits, or date outfits, everything that could accompany her dear Sakura everyday, reminded me that Tomoyo found her very own way to be with Sakura, and she's perfectly content with that. Tomoyo's happiness is seeing Sakura happy, and she will do anything to achieve that. ✨

Syaoran and Kaito's Friendship

And then my blushy blushy Sakura changes topic and suddenly throws me on the floor in a fit of laughter, because seeing Syaoran's confused look while he was trying to make sense of the pictures Kaito sent him on his phone WAS HONESTLY PRICELESS. 😆 My god, how long have I wished to see them like this? Moving their timid steps into a friendship (since their girlfriends are like sisters and Sakura literally saved Kaito's derriere), being their awkward dorky selves...they surprisingly get along so well and Syaoran doesn't seem to hold resentment towards him, which is GREAT for me!! He's learning from Sakura to just let go of hard feelings, when you've found out the person who acted in an oppositive way was just in a very desperate situation and had actually no ill intentions. And that makes me incredibly happy. Kaito needs all the support he can get, to make the right decisions in his life, and I can totally see him finding a particular connection with Syaoran, due to how they're both moon boys, who would give their life for the person they love. I think precisely for this, precisely because Syaoran can understand to a degree Kaito's situation and behavior, he wouldn't feel judged and would feel more free to establish a connection with him. I was k*lled with laughter and endearment when I saw that Syaoran felt confused, but still tried to understand Kaito's peculiar way of communicating with him 😂 And guess what? I think he doesn't realize it, but he's totally starting to get it! 😂The way our wolfie boy snaps that picture IMMEDIATELY as the cat passes by, and how he only framed the ear, really shows how in the end he's speaking "the same language" as Kaito 😂 Seeing Sakura so excitedly think to herself that the two became such good friends made me scream "SAME SAKURA-CHAN, SAME!!!" 😂 All in all, seeing these two having such a relaxed, comfortable date talking about their friends and stuff that happened lately made me completely feel that one year that elapsed, and now they act totally like a couple that's been dating for quite some time. 😊 Ooooh thank you sensei, really. Thank you so much for this scene. 🙏

The Moon Is Really Beautiful, Right?

BUT! The real reason why CLAMP will always have my heart and my gratitude is hidden in the next scene. 😂

Oh my god, the screams I've belted out when I saw them. And when I've read THAT. But let's go in order, let's go in order and not jump the gun! We're in Germany, Akiho and Kaito now seem to be living in an apartment in a nice building! They're still talking in keigo, and still calling eachother "Akiho-san" and "Kaito-san". 😊

Kaito SMILES genuinely at the picture Syaoran sent him!! And answers, to an observant Akiho, that he's having fun!! 😭HIM! The one who couldn't understand what was fun in interacting with others!!! He looks honestly so radiant and happy, a sign that his mental recovery is going strong. And that he's slowly expanding his "trusted people" network. 🥲🙏Also, he looks younger than ever!!! 😂

It made me INCREDIBLY HAPPY to see that Akiho didn't drop the "hobby" she had started in chapter 26 (ages ago!!), remember this scene?

I remember how much I loved to know she had started learning how to do this, because together with my friends, at the time, we all thought this could easily become her aspiration in life......and guess what?? CLAMP confirmed she wants to take on a job revolving around books and book repairing!! This is all canon!! T___T oh my happy tears.... There's a sense of pride in seeing that this journey for Akiho isn't only revolving around finding the cure for Kaito's shortened lifespan (which hurt his body terribly) and restarting his "stopped time", or finding Momo and the Alice in Clockland book, but she's also got the mental resolution to do something for herself, for what she wants to do in life, something that is completely disconnected from Kaito. Again, I cannot reiterate enough how this girl doesn't have an unhealthy codependent relationship with Kaito, and she's completely capable of thinking about her own future, aspirations and wishes. She wants him with her, and she could never live happily without him, but the love of her life isn't the only thing that exists for her. It is incredibly satisfying to see her working hard for her own future, where she'll be able to contribute (especially financially) to their livelihood. I can see Kaito helping her and assisting her with that. The other day I was dreaming away with my friends about Kaito and Akiho managing a "book cafè" together somewhere, how impossibly sweet that would be?

Seeing this volitive, ambitious, strong-willed Akiho once again filled my heart immensely. And I wasn't the only one, apparently.....

Oh god, you have no idea of the SHRIEKS I belted out when I saw Kaito saying "the moon is really beautiful, right?" in full daylight. Like. It is absolutely unmistakable at this point what kind of love he feels for her, and while I always knew, I'm sure the character took his own sweet time and personal introspection to reach that conclusion. If you remember, I've always said it and reiterated it at the end of chapter 80: Kaito won't understand things overnight, it will take a long time. And one year, at that age, is enough of a long time to come to terms with one's feelings and understanding what exactly they mean. They lived all that time together as two "equals", no more butler/boss bullsh*t, so they had even more opportunities to see eachother's true colors. And Kaito couldn't help but fall even more in love with Akiho, to the point that seeing her working so excitedly for her future made him gently overflow with that feeling....and said that sweet quote of Natsume Soseki that we all know, by now, what it means. I think the mere fact that what made his heart explode was seeing her so independent and strong, is a good sign that Kaito's love for her is the healthy and supportive kind, too. He doesn't love her and feels attracted to her soul because she's a weaker, younger, malleable being that he can dominate (as a toxic relationship would portray), but at the contrary, because she's free and strong and wonderful on her own. The more he sees her shining, the more that feeling grows. Throughout this scene, he looks at her and talks to her in such an intensely sweet way, you can totally see he's smitten with her.

The most popular reply to someone who confesses with "the moon is beautiful" is the equivalent of "I could die for you/I can die happy now", in Japanese. And Kaito had been unconsciously replying that way, with his actions, the whole damn time during the serialization of Clear Card. But since he took it way too literally, things were really heading to tragedy. Nobody wanted him to die for real, and yet, subconsciously, that was the only way he had found to give outlet to an enormous amount of feels that he couldn't express (because it wasn't appropriate, and nobody would ever love him, and he only caused her pain, and he had to let go of Akiho anyway at the end of it).

So considering all of THAT, this "I love you very much" he said now (he added とても, "very", like Akiho did ❤️) in this way, makes me think even more "yes, you finally understood what was the best way to convey it!" and therefore, it represents another character development for our moon boy. 🥲

There's debate over whether he had already understood what Akiho had meant, in chapter 48. I stand firmly by my convinction that, even if he was informed of the Japanese folklore tale around it, he quickly dismissed it as "no, she's meaning it literally for the moon", since he couldn't really believe that anyone would ever take interest in him, and was sure he would've always been alone. Otherwise, if he really understood and believed that Akiho was in love with him, I don't think he could've ever said that "I thought you didn't need me to be happy". It doesn't make sense. But everything that happened at the fake moon, and all her angry tears, and all her resolution to find a way to cure him, made him finally see that she really meant it in that way. ❤️So his own acceptance and introspection could finally start, and....it brought to this. ❤️ If you want to know more about the popular phrase "the moon is beautiful, right?", I invite you to check my first Clear Card Trivia post, focused on the literary and musical references portrayed throughout this story!

And LOL, I couldn't help but noticing several things in how this scene played out: first, he immediately "runs away" blabbering about the breakfast being ready, a very similar way to how he "ran away" in chapter 52 when Akiho could see right through him and was trying to express her support and feelings to him. This is definitely an indication (taking into consideration also how he acted when he was little) that the reason why Kaito walked away back then, slamming the door, had a sprinkle of embarrassment embedded in it, too. Yeah. I mean, look at the face he's making here, just before he notices, puzzled, that his hand is shaking:

He's smiling so tenderly, among the pain he's feeling because of his poor health. He even laughs! He's happy he heard that! But he just couldn't stay hearing any longer, back then. Now, in this scene of the special chapter, he literally throws "the bomb" and runs away without hearing her answer or reaction 😂😂😂this is definitely embarrassment, and I'd like to think there's even a hint of teasing streak that I've always seen between the lines in his personality. It came out particularly with Syaoran and Momo, but Akiho isn't excluded from this dynamic! 😂

And excuse me, but Akiho's reaction literally made me roll on the floor laughing!! 😂The poor girl is probably so used to live abroad, and Japanese folklore isn't probably coming up immediately in her mind anymore, despite it's a phrase SHE used HERSELF back then! 😂Or maybe it's because she didn't really expect it from him, and so she took a moment to connect the dots. Either way, it was extremely funny! And I can't absolutely avoid pointing out how our girl isn't blushing like mad anymore, but just slightly.... I mean. It must have been quite clear to her too, by now, that her feelings were in some kind "reciprocated", be it for what Sakura said back at the fake moon, his decision to go back to her, and his decision to reveal his true name, hence giving her his most vulnerable part of himself... This isn't a shock for her, and she probably waited patiently, patiently, for him to finally say something like this. So maybe, more than embarrassed, she's surprised that the day finally came! 🥲 Goodness. This really puts all my worries to rest, Akiho will truly be happy. And it makes total sense that CLAMP made him say this now, and not at the end of chapter 80. As I said, more time was needed. This entire scene leaves me with a sweet, soft, comfortable feeling, and it's totally how I've always imagined their relationship to be. Also....no more of that "he loves her as a daughter/sister" crap, not canon-wise at least. 😊

One last thing I have to point out about this scene, which curiously reconnects everything together, is that recently CLAMP have announced the themes to which their upcoming exhibition will revolve around: among them, there's LOVE (of course!), and among the decorations surrounding the featured character on the key visual (Sakura, for now, but there's at least another one coming!) there are a couple of birds too. Birds are, in this sense, a symbol of love in CLAMP's language. I couldn't really help but noticing all the birds flying outside the window next to Akiho, the moment Kaito says that "the moon is really beautiful, right?". Basically, CLAMP were trying to scream it all over the place, however they could. 😂

"Momo-san?!"

It was so nice to see Yukito and Kero-chan gossiping about Touya right in his face, with the complete intention to tease him 😂in that sense, Yukito really seems like a sweet and harmless character, but don't be fooled! His teasing power is over 9000!! 😂Touya's killing glare made me crack up! He's so done for, now that both Kero and Yukito can tease him in the open! 😂😂😂

But please, please, let me scream about MOMO!!! Oh my god I would've never accepted a special chapter that didn't feature her!! Aaaaahhh I'm so glad to see that she's fine 🥲 The conversation between her and Sakura made clear to me that she isn't that free to move how I imagined her to be. Certainly, she decides where to go and who the book stays with (and when to leave), but the impartiality imposed on her role doesn't allow her to act freely like she wants, unless she pays a price. And she decided to pay a price, not to see Akiho and Kaito, but to go and thank Sakura herself first. Because, as her "those kids" suggests, she of course still feels some kind of maternal instinct towards them, and as any mother would do, she wants to thank Sakura from the bottom of her heart for having helped and saved those two. Even her body language (the position of her hands) portrays that. And excuse me, but I A B S O L U T E L Y loved how CLAMP clarified once and for all, addressing directly the complaints of their own fandom, that Sakura wasn't forcingly dragged into a matter that wasn't related to her. Everything she did, she decided to do it because she felt it touched her personally. From the moment she became Akiho's friend and came to care for her, everything that happened and everything that she was involved with was related to her too. This wasn't "somebody else's business" anymore. Because Akiho is one of her most beloved friends, no matter how "fast" that happened. Some relationships bloom almost immediately, because the connection is just that strong. And so, this turned into just another expression of "your happiness is my happiness", with Sakura acting according to what her heart suggested. As Kaito is Akiho's most beloved person, Sakura couldn't help but care for him too, because doing so would've made her friend happy, in a wonderful "circulation of love".

Special mention for the scene with pregnant Lilie, oh my god I didn't really expect this either. How long ago I wrote that Tumblr post about cosmos flowers and the origin of Akiho's name? A couple of weeks ago? It's like CLAMP answered my curiosity, with this scene. I still keep my interpretation in my heart, but I also love the logic "it is a flower that keeps the same name in many countries". Of course. "Wherever you'll go, you'll always be your unique self". (And now I want to cry, mama's heart is so big😭) The way Lilie keeps her hands over her womb made me tear up. The ring isn't there anymore, a sign that she probably already gave it to Momo (understandably, since once Akiho would be born, she wouldn't really have much time left). The baby bump isn't that noticeable, probably because she's at the beginning of her pregnancy. Who knows if she kept seeing little Kaito while she was pregnant. 🥲Who knows if in the scene where she's telling him about how wonderful it is to have something you love, especially a person, she was already pregnant with Akiho. 🥲

Momo and Sakura's final words made me understand that Momo cannot go back to Akiho and Kaito till the circumstances and the moment is right. Whether it depends on Akiho's wish, or the right cosmic arrangement, it's surely not in the short term. Especially considering the limited scope of Momo's agency. It cannot come from Momo (unless she pays a huge price), it needs to come from them, strongly enough. I also want to think that, again as an acquired mother figure, Momo wants those two to find their own way, identity and figure out their relationship on their own, without her interference. I'm sure she's keeping an eye on them from faraway, though. 🥲Even though this still feels bittersweet because I wanted to see them reuniting in canon so badly, it gave me lots of hope for the future. Momo is just waiting for the right moment, and she'll be ready to embrace them when the time is right. Maybe, who knows, we'll see that reunion in another series or in a special publication in the future?

The End

And then....the final scene 🥲NOW it is finally clear what Ohkawa meant in that one Twitter Space, when she mentioned that there was a reason why they never featured Sakura's birthday!!! THEY NEEDED TO KEEP THE EXCLUSIVITY FOR THIS!! 😂 I'm so glad they did, really...it's so sweet to see her reaching 14 years old (the "standard age" of many shoujo heroines! 😂) and seeing Syaoran giving her a present, with that strikingly sweet smile full of love...but most importantly....the breathtaking final double spread 🥲🥲🥲🥲 The way she pulls his hand close to her chest, to her heart, while saying that Syaoran will be forever and ever her most important and special person.....really, this chapter is meant to k*ll us all with feels!🥲and I love how CLAMP keep finding ways to portray their physical displays of affection without resorting to the classic, most wanted (but also probably considered not appropriate yet) "kiss". The very final page is a direct parallel of a page from chapter one, where Sakura was going to school alone and looked back down the street to admire the cherry blossoms in full bloom.

Now, she's not alone anymore, but actually hugging the love of her life on her special day! Really, what a wonderful and fulfilling way to give the final touch to this amazing story! 🥲 Her very last line also contributed to this. Sakura leaves us again, 24 years after the first ending, with words of positivity for the future, and love for her important people. This wraps everything up nicely, but it still keeps things quite "open-ended", hopefully in the eventuality to return to this wonderful series in the future. Sakura is growing up, as CLAMP wished, and it might be possible to see her dealing with more "grown-up" situations, magic and non-magic wise. But one thing is for sure, her relationship with her loved ones will always take top priority. ❤️

Well well well, we came to the end of this looooooong commentary for this special chapter too. I can't help but thank once again all of you who followed my posts all these years, and commented with your POVs on the story.

As I've said multiple times, Cardcaptor Sakura gave me so much ever since I was a kid, and this sequel was no exception. This special chapter, in particular, overflowed with things I wanted to see, and I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking so. I once again want to congratulate CLAMP for wrapping everything up nicely, and thank them from the bottom of my heart for these almost 8 years of emotional journey. 🙏

See you around with my other tumblr posts, and let's look forward to the release of volume 16 on April 1st, and hopefully, news about the anime sequel of Clear Card!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaosaku #yunaaki #special chapter #translation differences #how come this post is so freaking long even without translation differences?#well dammit I had A LOT TO SAY #and even some itches to scratch #aaaah the satisfaction #😊so happy

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wzrd-wheezes · 1 year ago

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could i request a short imagine with remus x fem reader, where they’re best friends, and one day in the library while remus is talking about some book he’s passionate about, the reader just kisses him??? thank u!!!

Ink-Stained Fingers - Remus Lupin x Reader.

AN - this was such a cute request and i had so much fun writing it! thank you so much <3

Y/N’s fingers were stained with ink from her quill as she frantically scribbled on a particularly long roll of parchment, desperately trying to finish her potions essay that was due in the morning. Remus sat opposite her, his feet propped up on the table and a book gripped between his fingers.

“How many times have you read that one, then?” Y/N asked, glancing up at him.

“Dunno.” he replied, barely looking up, “Five maybe?”

Y/N smiled to herself, returning her attention to her homework. Remus would usually keep her company on her late night study sessions in the library when she was cramming in her homework last minute. She wasn’t as organised as he was usually.

Remus’ fingers toyed idly with a loose thread on the sleeve of his jumper as he read. By the looks of it, it was a book that he’d read over and over. The edges of the pages had gone fuzzy like they had been thumbed through many times and his brow furrowed as his eyes danced over the words.

“I can lend it you if you want?” Remus broke the silence.

“Are you feeling alright?” Y/N laughed, “James asked to borrow one of your books the other day and you looked like he’d just asked you to sacrifice your first born child!”

Remus chuckled, closing the book and placing it on the table.

“That was only ‘cause I know he wouldn’t look after it,” he said, “knowing him he’d probably leave it somewhere.”

Y/N nodded in agreement, dipping her quill back into the pot of ink and carrying on writing. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Remus reach down to retrieve something from his bag. He took out a quill and ink and began flicking quickly through the pages of his book.

“What’re you doing?” Y/N asked, not looking up from the piece of parchment in front of her.

“‘M just writing you some notes in the margins,” he muttered, clearly deep in thought, “y’know, for when you read it.”

Her eyes snapped up to look at him and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Remus was biting down on his lip as he scribbled down his notes, a crease forming between his brows. It was as if he couldn’t get the words down on the pages quick enough.

“This is one of my favourites, you know?” he spoke, “The characters are so well thought out and the way that it’s written is honestly…”

He went on, telling her every detail of the story telling without trying to ruin it for her. His lips pulled into a smile as he spoke, the words spilling effortlessly out of his mouth. His eyes were wide and shining with excitement and Y/N had lost track of what he was saying, completely in awe of how passionately he was speaking about the book.

Y/N didn’t know why she did it, but before she had even registered what she was doing, she had leaned across the table and kissed him. She caught him mid sentence, his mouth slightly open and his lips soft against hers. Y/N pulled away quickly, her eyes widening and her heart pounding.

“If you wanted me to shut up you only had to tell me.” Remus laughed, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“I’m sorry - I don’t know why I did that!” Y/N panicked, “Shit. you’re my best friend-”

This time Remus cut her off. Leaning over the table and grabbing her face with his hands. The kiss this time was more sure, his lips confident against hers, his hand resting on her jaw. He tried to pull her closer to him to deepen the kiss when all over a sudden they were distracted by a dull thud as something hit the wood of the table.

Looking down, they saw that the pot of ink had been knocked over, the dark liquid spilling across the table and seeping onto the the roll of parchment where Y/N was writing her essay. She let out a gasp, trying to snatch her work away from the ink that was spreading at a rapid pace.

“Don’t worry about it.” Remus said, taking the paper from her hands and dropping it to the floor, his eyes still fixed on hers. The ink had got on his fingers too, and he chuckled as he looked at them. “I’ll help you write another one.”

His lips quickly found Y/N’s again, their ink stained fingers intertwining.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x yn #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin fan fiction #remus lupin x you #marauders #marauders era #marauders fan fiction

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antariies · 10 months ago

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how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk

SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......

and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)

this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy

okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!

1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.

2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea

3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!

hehe :3c

4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.

5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!

and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c

6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this

7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves

7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.

8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.

a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.

9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼

10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.

will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.

11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.

i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.

12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O

and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....

13.

i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.

me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!

14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]

15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.

16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.

17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.

18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture

19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol

20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns

21.

obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.

also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS

but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!

and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼

and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #my writing #for once i have nothing to say in the tags bc i already talked so much in the body of the post.#ummmmmmmm meows cutely !

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noeou · 2 years ago

Text

THE ART OF AVOIDANCE.

the only way to get rid of a crush is by avoiding them, at least in your mind.

includes: vil schoenheit, idia shroud, and riddle rosehearts. ( x gn!reader. )

next parts: curently unavailable.

contains: fluff! platonic to romantic. open ended for idia and vil. ooc 'cause i said so.

sincerely noe ,⠀this takes up 8 pages in google docs 0.6k words minimum (each), lhm. i'm gonna go eat now. also a quick thank you to the person that answered this, you helped me pick the other two characters <3

vil schoenheit [ pomefiore ]

the main reason you and vil got along was because you could take criticism. that and the fact that you didn't take his long and (oddly) specific 'observations' to heart, but after a while it got hard to put up with.

no, your skin didn't get weaker. it was just the fact that the person you loved (debatable) and adored (also debatable) was constantly telling you your mishaps and it's impossible for it to not get to your head.

it felt that you couldn't tell anyone about your feelings 'cause you knew you'd get met with judgement on you 'type' and get told 'but you're yn, you can take it!' if you say you can no longer take his criticisms.

"Ace, hand me the glue gun please."

But you'd always have the duo and Grim. So that's where your time went instead of chasing the around house warden that probably didn't notice your absence.

"On it!" The red head turned from his project to hand you the glue gun.

"Are you guys almost done?" Deuce asked, pausing on his as well.

Grim jumped up excitedly, "Yeppers! Look at our super cool one!"

You chuckled as your companion showed off a mini doll version of him you both knitted.

"Mine's cooler!" Ace joined, except with his doll.

Their banter was interrupted with a knock on the door. Ace visibly paled, becoming nervous as he went to get the door.

"Warden Riddle, I swear it wasn't me!" You facepalmed at the sight of your friend. He didn't even look at who was at the door before he spewed apologies.

"I'm not Riddle..."

Apparently, you didn't check either. It was your turn to panic at the sight of the very person you tried (not that is was hard) to avoid.

vil didn't mean to criticize you to the point of scaring you away. all the little details he'd point out were things, most of the time, he admired about you. it was just impossible to say. people in his life would take the smallest compliment from him and twist it to fit their fantasy of him being in love with them or something to that affect.

he knew that repeating all those observations may affect how he thought of you so he did keep a journal, expressing the little things he felt too suffocated to say.

when epel suggested he may have scared you away, he was afraid the first year was right. that's why he went to go find you, not sending rook or epel but going himself. and his worse fears may have been confirmed.

Vil had no intention of forcing you to interact with him, he just intended to give you said journal and leaving. He wanted to leave the future of your relationship to you and he'd keep his distance until the decision was made.

He was willing to share thoughts and feelings he kept between him and the pages with you, a small hope that was put out by the sound of your laughing with the Heartslabyul two.

It took a minute, a foreign hesitance, before he knocked on the door.

The sudden silence made him even more anxious. Until it was filled with apologies addressed to the Crimson Tyrant, then he was simply confused.

He scanned the room for you, meeting not your eyes but a hand covering your face. Did you know it was him? Was he making a mistake?

You looked more comfortable as well. Your uniform was messed up, your hair was down. It was as if he was looking at a much younger version of you, a look of youth that he purposely had you hide.

"I'm not Riddle..." he managed, not looking away from you.

The mixed emotions on your face didn't go unnoticed, but he had no time to try and interpret them.

"Vil." Ace bowed again, not as deeply as he was a moment prior. The blue haired one stood as well, fists clenched and tied with a look of irritation.

"I mean no harm—"

"As if!" Vil nearly screamed why your cat-like companion jumped up onto Ace's head. "All you've done is harm! It's better for all of us if you leave now."

"Grim!" You pulled him off the redhead and pulled the other away. "We should talk."

The expression of surprise on the house warden's face was mirrored by your friends, only without his relief tied in as well.

"I would like that— if only if you're comfortable."

You led him out of the twisted Heartslabyul halls. Neither of you able to look at the other as you walked.

It was strange. Suddenly the roles were reversed and Vil was the one following you. He didn't mind it completely, but the anxiety of your next move was too great for him to think clearly.

Eventually, he was forced to speak.

"I've only come to deliver this to you," he handed you a hardcover book, magic sealing it.

The moment it made contact with your skin as you took it, the magic seemingly became void and you could open it. For a moment, a childlike curiosity took over as you examined it.

"But..."

You looked up, returning to reality.

You had no idea how to react as you watched Vil's mask so tightly sewn on break before you. The emotion made him unrecognizable, in a good way. For the first time in you knowing him, the Fairest of them all became personable.

Was it really possible for a perfect person to become more perfect?

"I've decided that waiting is something I don't want to do. I feel stupid for trying to tell you in any other way than face to face… but infatuation is something I rarely encounter, and I want you to know— I want you to know I like you. Like in that way.”

idia shroud [ ignihyde ]

you tried your hardest to be patient, knowing idia’s rocky relationship with human interaction. you made sure he was taking car of himself and had neat surroundings and as he got more and more comfortable with you, he’d help you out and join ortho and you when you’d visit.

getting to know him was not, at all, an easy feat. but it was fair to say it was worth it. you ended up falling for him, no? the hard thing about that is, you fell for a side of him he kept well hidden.

you knew pulling back and away would permanently damage your relationship to a point of no return, however staying knowing the potential would break you.

“Do what you think is right, Y/n.”

You and Ortho were collecting scraps to bring back to the dorm when you broke the news to him.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt Idia—”

“As much as I care for my brother, I also care about you. If he truly is putting you through this, especially if he doesn’t know he is… I think you’d Gould put yourself first.”

It was times like this Ortho’s childlike form truly didn’t fit his maturity. You smiled at his words, nodding as your confidence grew in your decision.

“Thank you, I hope our friendship—”

Ortho used his shoes to propel him higher in the sky, high enough to pat your head. He grinned as he said, “Nothing will change between us, you’re like an older sibling to me!”

From that day forward, you continued things as they were only when Idia wasn’t around. Ortho was a big help in this, not forcing you to talk to his brother if you didn’t want, but not even he was able to predict the older’s every move.

idia knew something was up when your time on animal crossing increased as the amount he saw you decreased. you were never one to be interested in games as much as he, but he made you an account anyway and you played together sometimes.

he had a full proof plan, he'd log onto his computer like a facetime and confront you when you came to visit while he was out. however, you looked calmer, ignoring the evidence of lack of sleep in your eyes.

he decided to keep his mouth shut, watching you for a moment longer before hanging up.

Idia is not stupid, he was aware that the more time that passed would only mess up your relationship further. He needed to act quickly.

Locking himself in his room for a few days, he thought up a full proof plan to win you back but as more than friends. Double or nothing, as they say.

Staring at his hightech whiteboard, empty for hours at this point, nothing was happening. He frowned to himself, retreating to his gaming chair with an exasperated sigh escaping him.

He did as you'd do in a situation like this and logged on to animal crossing. If his assumptions were correct you wouldn't be able to log back on for a few hours now, logging onto your account he started working.

Back when you were still talking to him, you mentioned you wanted to build something that resembled the hade's underworld. You said it reminded you of something called 'Hadestown' and you showed his a few pictures so he had the idea.

So far it looked really good, he just planned on helping get you the necessary tools you need. Maybe it was the tiredness getting to him, but he made a pin, telling you it was him as well as all the things he also wanted to say.

Logging off, he went to take a nap without a second thought.

riddle rosehearts [ heartslabyul ]

the main reason you chose to distance yourself from riddle was actually because you thought he'd hate it if he found out you had feeling for him in that way. you were hoping, since it's exam week, that he'd be too busy preparing to notice you were gone and after this week your feeling will be gone and things could go back to normal.

it felt weird though, studying without him. normally study sessions would be productive, but with you carrying the team with the last two braincells… productive isn't the word i'd use.

considering how riddle is the housewarden of your bestfriends, you had to take them in when your plan started. while you trusted them to keep your secret, ace would most likely slip up in one way or another during a scolding.

It wasn't as bad as you thought having the two over, it was like a long sleepover. They had made makeshift beds on the floor out of fear of your (mostly) see through roommates.

Most of your time was spent attempting to study before the four of you inevitably gave up and headed to Sam's for ice cream to sulk about how you'd definitely fail. It was a cycle with seemingly no end.

"We can do this!" You pumped a fist in the air, the others beginning to match your energy.

Grim put on a look of determination, much like the other two. "We'll mop the floor with this!"

"Indeed we will."

And just like all your other attempts that week, you only ended up 'moping the floor' with your tears.

You werent sure how you got in this position, but you stared at Deuce's paper through glossy eyes at an attempt to understand the explanations he tried to provide. It was dark outside, cool in your room. A blanket was laid over the both of your laps and over Ace's face as he gave up long ago and took a nap on the Deuce's leg. Grim did the same, but rested on your head.

"I want Riddle back," You mumbled, the last of your frustration transferring into sadness. You wiped the threatening tears with the back of your hand.

Deuce let out a sigh, trying to think of what to say. "Maybe we can get someone else's help?"

"Like who?" You sat up, pulling your companion down from his resting place above you.

"Az–"

"Don't mess with me, Deuce. We both know how that'll end."

"Or you could ask me as you usually do."

in the beginning, riddle thought that you, ace and deuce were up to something when you went missing at the same time. there wasn't much he could do about it with his schedule. don't be mistaken he didn't forget about you.

normally around this time he'd be pulling all nighters with you, feeling frustrated at your slowness, but still trying his best to stay calm. he missed that, not the lack of sleep, but having an excuse to be with you without having to initiate it. it was a mutually understood (?) thing.

no, he didn't ask questions until those days turned into the majority of the week. during a sudy session with trey and cater, they pointed out how he should at least message you, because even they were getting worried. he sent you a quick message that turned into two, then three, and four.

Riddle isn't one to appreciate interruptions, especially when studying so it was surprising how irritated at a lack thereof.

"Where are you going?" Cater watched him, curiously.

In one moment, Riddle was sitting working somewhat peacefully and the next he was fuming out the door. He thought of the worst case scenarios, you were never one to ignore messages; he also couldn't get ahold of his freshmen (though that was that out of the ordinary.)

A shiver was sent down his spine upon entering the cool place. It was also possible it was because he walked in on three ghosts playing cards.

"Are you looking for your lovely?" the smallest one asked.

"Y/n! Your boyfri–"

"Refrain from that." Riddle addressed the biggest one. He patted his uniform, calming himself. "They're upstairs?"

"Who's asking?" The slim one dragged.

The smallest floated up to whack the other's nonexistent head, "Y/n's husband, obviously!"

"Wait they got married?"

"No!" Riddle headed for the stairs, deciding not to waste a moment more on them.

In their laughter, one managed to warn, "Knock! The youngins' are hard at work up there."

Riddle wanted to make sure you three were at least alive and not wanted criminals, the first confirmed at the sound of your voices. He wanted to scold each of you for scaring him, but the mention of his name made him stop and listen.

"I want Riddle back," You sounded weak, and low on energy. It wasn't something he wasn't used to, but knowing he wasn't there to help in the ways he was able.

Deuce let out a sigh, "Maybe we can get someone else's help?"

No, why weren't you going to him?

"Like who?" He heard shuffling in the room, pressing his ear to the wooden door to hear better.

"Az–"

"Don't mess with me, Deuce. We both know how that'll end."

Unable to listen to you foolishness for a moment longer, he made his grand entrance. He wasn't sure if he was angry or sad, but looking at your tear stained face made him concerned.

"Or you could ask me as you usually do." He managed, taking in your conditions.

"Housewarden!" Deuce tried to shake his redheaded counterpart awake but stopped at Riddle's command.

"Do not bother, I'm here for Y/n. You get some rest, as well, we can review tomorrow. I'll return them safely." Riddle looked to you, who didn't return his gaze.

He let out a sigh of relief as you got up and collected yourself– "wait for me downstairs."

That he did, awkwardly being examined by the three transparent elders.

"Win 'em back, alrightie?"

"Yeah! It's been a snotfest without ya', a pain really."

"Mhm, they're not all that bright."

In sync they laughed, in sync they stopped. Looking at him again, they disappeared into puffs of smoke and reappeared the same way around him.

"Break their heart again and I'll request that you join us in a game of cards."

"And we've been playing for a while…"

"I wasn't planning on it!" Riddle face felt much warmer at the thought of doing so.

"Guys, leave him alone." You groaned, groggily.

He led you outside and you found a seat on a cut down tree's trunk. Patting the space next to you, he joined you.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you not talking to me?"

More awkwardness ensued when you both said that at the same time. He looked at you, again not meeting his eyes.

"'Cause you'll hate me. Banish me even," The lack of sleep was talking.

"Banish you from where?" He asked, confused.

"Heartslabyul… and here," – you pointed at the spot on his chest his heart would be– "Because I think you're adorable and smart and amusing and so many other things. And because I like you, but I don't think you'd like that, would you?"

His expression changed to one of more surprise, his lips tugging upward only for the keenest of eyes to notice. Looking down at the landscape before him, with another relieved breath, "And what if I would?"

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applesandbannas747 · 6 months ago

Note

i wanna hear your thoughts on the fence challengers: long shot preview pages if you want to share!

oh mAN I have so many and they are all over the place!!

The first one is a little thing, but I bet Seiji had a crush on Marcus Washington when he was a kid--Nick's horror, Harvard's teasing, and Seiji's indignant blush imply as much.

And a fun fact, Jo posted a mini preview of baby Seiji to Patreon on February 14th...maybe I'm reading into it too much, but that's nothing new XD

Next couple of things are about the scene with the trophy case. It was really interesting and fun to see side-by-side redraws of Robert! It really illustrates the way the style has evolved, and also I gOTTA say it feels like Jo is more invested in Robert based on the level of detail she put in--like it's not just a style comparison, it's also just obvious a lot of attention was put into these shots when a) she could have just reused old shots (which she's done before, so I know it was an option), or kept it more simplified like she did when drawing the original shots.

I also think it's sweet that the redraws have Robert looking much more like Jesse than the originals.

And I am sure I will get flack for this, but I have incredible second-hand embarrassment from Nick leaving his newspaper clipping + note in the trophy case jfhdasl like bestieee noooo anyone can see that shit now oh my god please stooop

Onto some Nichoji thoughts! I love that Seiji's been confirmed as a before-bed reader! Him having a Kindle makes sense for the sheer efficiency of it too lmfao. Of course it's also adorable to see him in reading glasses <3 And then my favorite detail is Nick's stupid nightlight...notice where it is?

Rather than illuminating Nick's side of the room, it's peeking around the curtain and lighting up Seiji's reading, which is beyond adorable and sweet. I wonder whether Seiji stole it or Nick put it there knowing Seiji likes to read before bed, and I love both scenarios.

Also, it's fucking adorable that as soon as Nick mentions their date appointment, Seiji takes off his glasses and lowers his Kindle because it's got his full attention and investment.

And a quick pitstop to the locker rooms!

I like the visual metaphor here with Aiden and Bobby both very casual about changing and both literally having their shirts open; meanwhile, Seiji's straightening the cuffs on his button-down, which is already neatly tucked in and complete with his tie. It just highlights how Seiji's a lot more closed off than the others, and I think this was a neat trick to remind us of that.

In regards to plot, I'm still...really disappointed in the pacing. I know most people feel like it's a slowburn/it's taken a long time to develop, but if you waited to read Fence at all until it was complete and then read it all in one sitting, I think you'd see how unbalanced it is. Williams says that their first match will be in three weeks back right after tryouts:

which means everything between issue 12 and CHALLENGERS has happened in 3 weeks. Seiji and Nick's relationship is so sweet and cute, but it went from resentful rivalry to puppy love overnight with very little 'screen time' dedicated to the actual transition from resentment to friends (which I could write a whole essay on but this is not the post for that lmfao). Furthermore, the fact that it's the first match of State Championships rather than first match of the season is crazy to me. I'll admit, I didn't fence in high school--it wasn't even an option because we didn't have a team. And despite hours of research, the structure of high school team fencing is not entirely clear to me. However, I do know that typical high school sports go through the season, facing every other team in their division or whatever. Based on performance in those matches, they can qualify for state, and then their win ratio determines their seeding order for the state championships that happen in like 1-2 days. Seeding order is who you go up against in a bracket, so it's what this diagram is, basically:

(side note, but it appears there are 24 schools competing at state). Again, fencing could be different, but it kinda seems to me like we skipped over the season and went right to State Championships, which just cuts out so much development and build-up. It's like we're speed-running the entire story to get to the end faster. We cut out showing the development in the romance, and now we're cutting out the development of the plot. There's still plenty that we can do at state, of course, but imagine how much more it would mean to see Nick fencing in front of Robert if we'd built that up more. I just don't understand how we spent 12 issues on try outs, 4 on a practice match, 8 on camp, and none on the fencing season. It feels so abrupt and unbalanced. Tryouts and camp were my favorites arcs because they felt pretty well-paced as self-contained pieces of the story. I just feel like we needed waaaaay more relationship development between those two arcs to be satisfying, and I feel like there should be waaaaay more build up during the fencing season between camp and State Championships.

and now, the moment you've all been waiting for: my devastation over Eugene's role (???) in the story. I honestly question why he's in the story at all--at this point, it would have made more sense to have him flat-out not make the team. Except that keeping him this long lowkey backs up the theory I've had on his role since Striking Distance/RIVALS: Eugene is here to make everyone else look better/cooler/more impressive. The very first thing that struck me when reading the first look was this:

The dialogue here suggests that only one reserve actually gets to be on the team in the end, and the reserve is Nick. And, worse, everyone expected it to be Nick. Sure, it's sweet that Seiji thinks Nick's the better fencer, but all I can think about is how hard Eugene's worked for ten years trying to make the team as opposed to Nick's three months of fencing. Now, I love an underdog story. But it's interesting because Pacat stated in an interview (I'd have to go find where for the specific quote) that he always feels bad for the person who's been working to be #1 their whole lives only to be knocked out of the running by an upstart underdog--which I've always assumed would influence the path taken in Fence...and it seems like we may well let Seiji and Jesse remain above Nick in skill (or at least it seems like we won't be dethroning Seiji, even if we go for Jesse), but Nick's overcoming smaller obstacles. And those smaller obstacles hurt worse to see crushed because Eugene almost made the team in a way that mattered, only to have that taken away. It would have been less cruel to him and his fans to let Nick take the reserve slot back in issue 12, but instead we brought Eugene along to serve as a means to make Nick out 'secret weapon' and elevate his story.

I will say though, this page is one of my favorite Eugene moments because I see the character I selfishly want Eugene to be in it. From the context of the panels above, this page is likely Williams telling them that only one will be fencing in State Championships, and this is their reaction. Eugene's immediate concern for Nick and the comforting hand on his shoulder followed by a bright smile and a thumbs up--he just cares so much about other people and it so used to smiling through his own pain/disappointment and comforts Nick through being positive (and as seen back in issue 12, up playing his competitiveness) and acting like it's no big deal.

Eugene deserved better, but if this is where he goes out, I think I can live with it. Better to see him go now than continue to be a means to uplift the rest of team by being less than. but, man, I was really hoping we were turning it around after his moment in REDEMPTION being the only KR boy not to lose his bout

anyway, thank you sm for listening to my rambles!!! <33

#jackshit #fence comic #fence challengers long shot #fence challengers #seiji katayama #nicholas cox #eugene labao #fencessay #thanks for the ask!! 💜#fence asks #eugene defense squad #to be clear; there are a lot of things I'm excited for--ill just never get over how much better it could have been if the stars had aligned #and fence could have been picked up for its full run and given all the development and attention i have to assume was the original intent

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marsbutterfly · 2 years ago

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The Boy Who Cried Your Name

a/n: HI!!!! I'M BACK AFTER SUCH A LONG HIATUS!!!! I MISSED YOU GUYS! This story was based on this postI hope you all enjoy!

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: none, just fluff <3

2:07am > manjiro: ok this movie genuinely seems really stupid 2:08am > manjiro: i think i'll watch it and tell you all about it during our date tomorrow. 2:11am > manjiro: oh shit, i've seen this actor somewhere 2:13am > manjiro: i know you're asleep but like 2:13am > manjiro: when you wake up can you help me find out this dude's name? 2:13am > manjiro: *image*

It's a Tuesday night, or at least it was when you first went to sleep. The nonstop vibration of your phone combined with the light that comes from it is enough to disturb your deep slumber.

You grunt, eyes squinting as you try to adjust to the brightness. Your warm hand comes out from its place underneath your pillow, only to be received by a rush of cold air that comes from the AC. Your fingers tremble gently while trying your best to type in your passcode, though your brain isn't fully awake.

Ultimately you decide to simply shine the phone on your face in the hopes that it will recognize your features even in the dark of your room.

Before it can even unlock, another notification.

2:16am > manjiro: i am learning so much from this movie already 2:17am > manjiro: did you fucking know that you can make your own butter if you shake milk for long enough?

You can't help but giggle at the sight, 17+ messages from Mikey. Before the two of you became a real couple, he would hardly ever text first, maybe because he could never remember where he put his phone in the first place or maybe it was because he was actually afraid of getting his feelings hurt, after all, a girl like you was hard to come by.

When the two of you decided to become official, his texts became more and more frequent. Most nights, you were forced to put your phone on Do Not Disturb because you desperately needed a good night's rest and lord knows you wouldn't be able to achieve that goal as long as Mikey was awake.

Your thumbs aren't moving at the speed you would like them to, your vision is still partially blurry and your throat is so dry that it feels like you are swallowing nails. Nevertheless, you open the messages to encounter a great variety of content.

Tired eyes skim through the various paragraphs, some quite lengthy as he declares his endless love for you and everything you have done / do for him on a daily basis, describing how you are the most beautiful person you have ever met and how the light that radiates from you reminds him of a sunset lit inside of your chest. How the color of your hair is his favorite because, whenever he sees it anywhere else, he feels like the universe is sending him a small reminder of how lucky he is. You smile at the sight of his gentle words.

However, you can no longer ignore the rain of incoming texts now that he has noticed the "seen at 2:14am" at the bottom of the page. He feels awful for waking you up but he cannot help himself. Every new thing he learns, every new detail of the movie he thinks you will enjoy knowing, he must share with you.

2:15am > manjiro: THIS DUDE JUST ATE HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW WHOLE? 2:16am > manjiro: IS THAT A FUCKING THING THAT SNAKES DO? EAT PEOPLE WHOLE? 2:16am > manjiro: I HAVE TO GOOGLE THIS HOLD ON 2:17am > manjiro: I have learned that, in fact, they can. I'm actually going to jump, I cannot do this 2:18am > manjiro: oh shit, i didn't mean to wake you up, but now that you are here! 2:19am > manjiro: did you know that drinking too much water can kill you? I read it somewhere, let me find the link. 2:19am > manjiro: Oh and also that when the dinosaurs walked the Earth, days were 23 hours long instead of 24?

You take a deep breath, knowing that he is coming from a place of love and care but you can't help but be a bit annoyed. Not wanting to snap at him, you use your full mental capacity at the moment to type a response to one of his many, many texts.

2:19am > manjiro: typing... 2:19am > you: Mikey, I love you, so so much and I wish for nothing more than for you to be here cuddling with me, than to feel the warmth of your body against mine, but you know I have an exam early in the morning. 2:20am > you: but baby, I am begging you, STOP THIS MADNESS.

His texting ceases and it feels like an eternity, certainly long enough for you to regret the way you spoke to him, even if it wasn't malicious or even purposefully mean. You understand that, other than Draken, Mikey doesn't usually confide in anyone else, especially not in a way that makes him seem weak or "stupid."

A sigh escapes your lips and you blink intensely for a few seconds in the hopes of stopping your eyeballs from burning. Time seems to slip by you and the next time your eyes open, twenty minutes have passed.

You bolt awake for a few seconds, heart beating faster than a race car, an irrational fear that you might have missed a message from him taking over you so the natural course of action is to check your texts. It would be a lie to say you weren't a little disappointed that there were no new messages from Mikey in that short period of time and your heart sinks just slightly.

2:41am > you: Mikey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm just nervous about my exam and super tired. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I hope you can forgive me.

Not even thirty seconds go by before the three dots inside of the blue bubble appear at the edge of the page. The full sensation of relief doesn't wash over you until you hear back from him, a simple message, spelled completely wrong because you knew he was keeping an eye out on whatever he was watching on the television.

2:42am > mikey: all gpod bsby, u luv u. (all good baby, i love you)

With a smile on your face, you finally allow yourself to relax and place the phone down underneath your pillow, giving Mikey time for himself as he enjoys his tv time. Now, you are finally going to be able to have a good night's rest before your big exam tomorrow. Eyelids become heavy and your breathing finds its own perfect pattern, your pillow is cold and underneath your covers is warm, everything is simply falling into place.

When you are within seconds of falling asleep, your phone buzzes from beneath your head. You refuse to open your eyes and simply roll over, pushing your body away from the device.

Some time passes and you find yourself in the same peaceful vibe as before, a gentle smile on your face as you fully allow yourself to be submerged in the cold feeling of the ac against your face while the rest of your body is nicely tucked away. The feeling doesn't last long for Mikey, once again, decides to start texting you every few minutes, if not seconds.

You grunt loudly, reaching for the edge of your pillow to pull it over your ear. In moments like these, you truly had to remind yourself of how much you loved him and why because he does, in fact, test what little sanity you have left in you. But you didn't know that all he was doing in that moment was being his usual self: the guy who is deeply and madly in love with you.

3:14am > manjiro: oh yeah 3:14am > manjiro: i forgot to tell you 3:15am > manjiro: good luck on your exam tomorrow, you got this! 3:15am > manjiro: i love you so much <3 3:15am > manjiro: have a great night <3

#mikey brainrot #mikey x reader #mikey x you #manjiro sano x you #manjiro sano x y/n #manjiro sano x reader #manjiro sano #manjiro sano fluff #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev x y/n

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99redragons · 4 months ago

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Wow, I agonized over this post way too long. Here it is, finally. I was gonna make this a reblog but i think since it's referencing multiple posts (and boy it got super long and added a related theory) this is better on its own. This is furthering @gin-juice-tonic's analysis of the tBoB journal pages. Heavy tBoB spoilers, and warning for the darker content it has. (some swearing too) I'm convinced now they're a warped version of events and downright fake for some, however, I believe many are real.

...But did Ford remember them? "I can delete memories randomly, just for fun. Maybe I already have." I do NOT think Bill could erase everything. He probably can only erase small/recent sections. But this is a big part of my theory.

But first, Gin's points. (using some of your pics for this Gin, hope you dont mind) I'm not going to post every journal page, but I'll give a ref for ones that seem important.

Okay, this is the post that actually convinced me (went through the links from tapas, the first is sure suspicious, but the second has pretty compelling evidence.) Ford referred to Fiddleford as F through the whole of journal 3 (aside from in code), and Bill as his Muse until the reveal, he wouldn't suddenly change the way he refers to people, even if he planned to rip out the pages, in which case, why would you write them in the first place?

On the first link (this one), this appears to be an embellished story. When you look at it from bill's perspective, he's reminiscing. He lies to himself. He's making it seem like Ford and Bill hit it off immediately, and while in a way, they did, it probably wasn't like this. I'll buy Ford used Cipher's line back at him, but the jovial way they banter is just so Bill. Ford would emphasize how he felt, the mysteries he was thinking about, his reverence for his Muse. He probably wouldn't recount it line for line when he was so secretive in journal 3. Bill makes it seem like they were more like equals, when in reality he likely relished the devotion and divine status Ford attributed to him. Also, "Cipher Speaks" is in Bill's handwriting from the sticky notes. could be coincidence? I think not. 'Ford' also describes it as the "GREATEST. DAY. OF MY LIFE." This mirrors bill's earlier statements about the reader's life being forever changed after meeting bill. According to Bill, meeting him is the highest moment of anyone's life, right?

In an additional post, Gin explains how Bill didn't tell Ford he was from another dimension. Ford had to find that out at the betrayal. So, all this taken, those two pages at least are fake.

For the third link, this one, while from Doylist perspective, Alex wanted the book to have fun little callbacks, from Watsonian, Bill simply can't help himself. Bill loves trying to be funny. He's trying to keep the reader hooked, and keeping the story interesting through callbacks is one way to do that. Some of these are Bill, some are self-referential because Bill's talking about real events from the past. (rats, cipherite suit, Small World cassette, we'll get to those later)

Bill has a habit of telling the truth through his lies. What I mean by that is, if he is repeating himself through actions or words, it's probably because there's some truth to it. If he's contradicting himself, there's something he's hiding. He'll claim he has no weaknesses, but later admit he does. He'll say he has no exes, only to reference exes later. So, we can glean truths from the lies he's telling in the pages.

I think Alex is a good enough writer to keep Ford and his writing (mostly) in character. He's made retcons/continuity errors before, but he knows the fandom will pick apart everything and find them, and will have a reason for it. There's definitely some fake pages, which begs the question, which are real?

One detail I want to point out is the vignette/burn marks on the edges of some of the pages. My secondary theory is about these. (And no, it doesn't indicate they were fake.) I'll explain later.

Assumptions/disclaimers: The pages we're shown are roughly chronological, though skip forward where surviving J3 pages would go. Pages aren't realistically double-sided like they would be in J3, these are inserted into tBoB magically. I don't have a blacklight version of J3, so I'm probably missing a little bit of context there. References J3 quite a few times, so this post works best if you are able to reference both books. I can go into detail and post more pictures for any sections that aren't clear.

First off, 'Lost in the woods'. This one I believe is real, because Ford's (author's cipher) codes are in it. This code is consistently used in the book whenever Ford inserts a page, even on the moth. For Bill to use this code would break the established pattern Alex has made. However, I agree with Gin that Bill intentionally placed this page to establish Ford as lonely, and thus make Bill look better for befriending him in contrast. I don't think it's that odd for Ford to talk about his social awkwardness, he talks about his childhood bullying pretty frankly, specifically on a page meant to be an author's About Me. However, he did rip this one out, so I think he was trying to ignore his feelings by hiding this page. No vignette.

'Cipher speaks', as we've discussed, is likely a fake/altered meeting. Vignettes on both pages. On the second page you can see where it looks burnt in one corner, and there's even tear marks like there's a page missing there, perhaps their real first meeting. It's also strange for Ford to draw himself like that.

'My Muse & Me'- Ford refers to Bill as his Muse again. Despite my doubts (I went back and forth on this one), I think this one has to be real. We find on the website computer (code: Fordtramarine) that Ford tried to submit a paper on fordtramarine. In that paper he refers to an 'extradimensional entity' and 'two-dimensional'. He shouldn't know that Bill is interdimensional at this point, so Ford must mean 'outside of physical reality', as in, the astral plane. Though, there's a painting of 'a muse' in the paper. Wasn't Bill supposed to be secret? Perhaps he thought he could get away with that small reference? Perhaps this paper was submitted more recently? I don't like the idea that things from the website are also fake, since it would be strange for Bill to have such narrative control there. The website seems to reveal things Bill can't control, even if Bill is talking. This page also establishes more timeline. This is saying that not only could Bill freely move in and out of Ford's mind within a year, he had full access to alter it as well, ahead of their deal before the test. This page is probably to make it seem appealing to let Bill into your mind. It also serves a purpose of showing us Ford had let Bill fully into his mind at this point in the story Bill's weaving. I am curious why would Ford hide this only to submit a paper on it, just to keep his Muse secret? And those damn red triangles, did Bill draw those, implying he could possess Ford before their deal? No burns/vignette. The neighboring pages both have it, why not this one?

June 15th- There is direct dialogue from Bill quoted, however, he refers to Bill as his Muse. Wouldn't Ford be creeped the hell out by the rat thing, and be alarmed that Bill possessed things just to kill them? I think this page was real, but was ripped out by Bill. Heavy vignette.

(Sorry for the poor quality, my phone camera is awful)

At this point I should explain: I think the burn/vignette represents Bill 'burning away' memories/altering them. Ford's memories, but possibly even the reader's. I want to be clear; I don't mean Bill erased the entire memory of the page, I mean Bill erased at least some part of those events. When it's heavy around the edges, heavier manipulation. It also could indicate which ones Bill burned/destroyed. More evidence for this later.

Karaoke page- How did Bill convince Ford to drink with him after the rat thing? Bill made him forget it was Bill. "The rats were his idea?" Yeah, he told you that right away, why did he need to tell you again? While probable this happened, the writing from Ford is sus. "This Bill guy, he's really got it all figured out"? Sounds a bit like Bill talking. The drawing is strangely detailed, too. 'Dancing queen' (disco girl's parody origin) was released in '76, so that lines up time wise, at least. Likely altered/created to make Bill seem friendlier. Either could have destroyed this one if there was a real version. Vignette.

A Voice from the Past spread- He says 'my Muse', but then mentions Bill by name, which indicates it's altered. Is the first bit real, then? Why would Ford rip out this important page revealing his muse's origin and past? His curiosity would overtake wanting to keep it secret, surely? And conversely, why would Bill fabricate it? To make himself seem more sympathetic? However, there is another explanation. There is the possibility Bill erased the memories of this conversation and it really happened in some form. Bill probably realized after revealing this information to Ford it could ruin his plans. Some vignette at the top, mostly on the right page. In that is a drawing of space and a code. The code says 'forget the past." Coincidence, or purposeful on a page for a conversation Bill made Ford forget? Bill could have ripped out the pages (if they existed) himself. It's also important to note Bill is trying to isolate Ford here, which is another reason he'd hide the pages/alter memories of talking about Stanley. Also, if Bill erased the phone number from Ford's mind later, it would make sense why Ford had to send a postcard.

A Winter Break/The Krampus adventure. Where would these pages have gone if they were real? It was January for the test, so it was before the deal, but after the bunker? Gin mentioned it feeling 'off' and strange because it's just Krampus, nothing weird or Gravity Falls-y about it, and I agree. And also, Fidds knocking it out feels... weird. I think that story is fabricated with some real details thrown in. Fidds is noticeably shaken up after, but otherwise the whole story seemed almost whimsical, and just...weird, and not in the GF way. It's fake. Ford goes back inside after looking outside in Time Traveler's Pig. He doesn't come outside onto the porch at all. You could say he comes back out after that, maybe. You could say it's a retcon. But we know the children's footprints were Dipper and Mabel, not random kidnapped kids. (Bill likely wouldn't expect the reader to know this.) My eyes are also drawn to the green and red rectangles. The festive theming bring to mind a Christmas special, and how often are those only partly canon? So, then what's real about it? I believe the gloves, and possibly the snow globe was real, since they come up again later. I believe if there was a monster, Ford (or bill possessing ford 'then-DARKNESS') fought it off, traumatizing Fidds even more. Something made Fidds shaken up. Fidds and Ford probably spent Christmas together. And Bill did warn Ford about Fidds' second thoughts (mentioned in J3). Did Fiddleford notice Ford forgetting things? Did he assume Ford was simply unshaken by what happened? For me what seals the deal is the heavy vignette around those pages. Bill altered his memories of what happened and is telling us this story instead, probably to make it seem not as bad, so Ford wouldn't be so angry that Bill wasn't there/realize that he possessed Ford. I'm also suspicious of the "Trust No One." at the end. Did this phrase really come from Bill? Wouldn't Bill be saying 'Trust me'? To be honest, it's possible the last page here was half a real conversation, but the way Ford suddenly changes his tune is strange AF and I suspect shenanigans for it. And the things Bill says are very different from 'F is not bold enough to follow through.' (J3 code, An Encounter) Also, most of these pages seem to have no reason to be ripped out, aside from mentioning Stan by name/drawing them, but he could have crossed that out, and the last page which Ford would have hidden from Fidds. If they were real in some form, Bill probably destroyed them to hide the truth.

Stanley memories pages- Real, not much to say about those. Goes after Bill's warning. Probably legitimately torn out by Ford since he'd want to keep these pictures before hiding J3. Though I do notice they are covering up a lot of red triangles, perhaps also drawn by Bill. No vignette.

Dream, or warning?- Before Jan. 17th. Real, since I can't see why Bill would make up a warning about himself. He wants the reader to trust him. The heavy vignette, again, indicates he made Ford forget about it and destroyed the pages before he could solve it, which would probably be easy since it was a dream. The laughter+fire at the end indicates Bill discovered them. Just a fun side note: the song referenced is 'Im your puppet'

"I was wrong about everything" spread- I think goes in the gap where the black scribbled out pages are in J3. Again, the Author's cipher is here, indicating these are real. Vignette again. Bill's possessing Ford a lot, trying to erase the idea of fighting back from his mind(unsuccessfully), likely also hiding these pages. More red triangles.

Bill-proof suit- Goes after The Blind Eye- references being banned from the library, Blind eye mentions still researching Bill. J3 said he discovered the chant to enter someone's mind by researching Bill, so he could also find the anti-cipher society and the cassette. Real. Bill likely destroyed these pages and the previous ones to try and slow down Ford and erase his plans to destroy Bill. Vignette.

Zom-bills to Looky Here: After 'Ways to hide', as Zom-bills is written in invisible ink, but before the truck stop. (This would require Ford to have written on the right page first, then Bill tore the rest of these out, but not a huge stretch) Bill is fucking with Ford hard. He's probably taking his anger out on Ford while simultaneously trying to bully and manipulate him like he would do to his henchmaniacs, as he says later. Vignette on most of these- he's constantly possessing Ford and making him black out, trying to manipulate his memory to make him compliant/torture him. Bill likely destroyed the cassette+the memory of it so it couldn't be used against him, as Ford presumably never gets the chance to. Why he's showing the reader this? He thinks it's funny. He could also be hoping to scare the reader, if the reader knows what he's capable of, they'll be more afraid, and fear and love are the same, right? Notably the sticky note page is only a little darkened, probably because Bill genuinely was trying to talk at first. I can't find any evidence that these are fake, but there's no codes indicating they're real either. I think they were real, but Bill destroyed at least some of them.

(Side note: Computer code: Oroborous. Curiously uses Bill's cipher, bill writes in J3 too. These pages are also vignetted. Bill wouldn't like Ford knowing he showed fear. He also purposefully didn't give the reader these 'missing pages', because he hates them and doesn't want to reveal his fear.)

Polaroids- Did Ford destroy this himself like the VHS? Trying to avoid being blamed for things Bill did? Just ashamed/horrified? Curiously, no vignette on the polaroids (this could be just to have the full page visible), or Bill wanted Ford to remember these to have the threat sink in fully. Probably actually happened, Bill doesn't really have a reason to fake these pages as they make him look worse/scarier.

Blackness/'No' pages: This is largely where my theory that vignette=memory manipulation makes the most sense, The darkness overtaking the page represents bill's influence and control, and stops resembling the journal pages much (though it could be invisible ink again). He can mess with Ford's mind as much as he likes. If these pages were ever real, Bill could have destroyed them himself too. Bill's pretty much telling the story here.

Fidds page, S page- Gin made another excellent post pointing out the problems with these. They're a bit redundant when compared to J3, aren't they? And in oddly specific ways. The use of the brother code indicates they're real, though. If Bill erased Ford's memories of these pages, him basically re-writing them makes sense, and also Ford going from 'the caves hold the answer' to 'the caves might hold the answers', the snow going from 'begun to fall' to 'has fallen', and going 'fidds wont speak to me'! instead of 'my assistant has clearly left me'. In some way Ford has probably retained a bit of his plans, but its not a stretch to say he'd loop his train of thought after losing memories. The "I grow maddened" at the edge is very shaky and blurry, which could reflect the shaky and blurry memory.

I also notice (this has probably been pointed out before) now in J3 that only once outside of Gravity Falls (route 14) can Ford plan clearly. Perhaps Cipher's influence is weaker outside the town? It makes sense. if Ford sent the postcard and made his plan while free(ish) of Bill's meddling, that's why Bill couldn't just erase his memory of his plan again.

So...yeah! Some are definitely fake. Some are placed or altered intentionally to serve a narrative. Bill could be manipulating the reader's and ford's memory to have never seen these pages. Some of these memories could have been simply warped, or erased later- not right away. I'll be honest I don't love the implication that Bill can just manipulate Ford's memories freely, so I'm sure there are significant limitations to it. Bill has to stall for the whole book and give away a lot of secrets in order to change the reader's brain enough for him to be satisfied, and even then it's not enough to make the reader give in. Bill's abilities are much less than he purports. He also says that the person can notice his 'tune-ups', so there is only so much he could alter someone's brain before they notice. However, if he's been messing with Ford's head this long, he'd have a big advantage. Is the explanation that Bill erased Ford's memory a little lazy? ...Yeah? But it also kind of heightens how badly Ford was being manipulated and why he got so paranoid and unhinged there. It lets a lot of these puzzle pieces fit together that wouldn't otherwise.

My vignette theory isn't super strong, I'll admit, but I think it definitely indicates something, given some pages don't have it when they could have. They could also simply indicate those pages were burned, though it being on the fake pages makes less sense then. Bill having destroyed the pages himself makes sense for a lot of the pages, but I cant rule out the possibility Ford did destroy some of them out of frustration/shame.

Something I also realized while going through J3 again is how many 'doodles' in J3 involve red triangles. (you can see an example on Frilliam's page) The triangles I assumed were Ford's obsession with Bill, but what if they were Bill's obsession? For another post perhaps.

So, what do y'all think? Ideas? Agree? Disagree? Things I missed? Questions? Something huge that shatters my whole theory? Let me know!

#gravity falls #the book of bill #thisisnotawebsitedotcom #tbob #gravity falls theory #the book of bill spoilers #book of bill spoilers #tbob spoilers

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months ago

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wibta if i refused to help my classmates going forward?

i am in university for a science degree. i have been struggling for almost my entire degree due to undiagnosed ADHD and autism, as well as my habit from grade school of working myself too hard. i went into burnout from 2020-2022 and failed most courses i took. i had to cut down on my work significantly so i could stay in university and finish my degree. it's been 5 years and i'm just over halfway finished. the end's not in sight yet, but it's getting there.

this semester, i'm taking two courses that i've struggled in previously and am retaking actually. the term will most likely be over once this is posted. one i've finished twice but didn't have a high enough grade to move forward (chemistry) and the other i've dropped 2 times before to avoid failing (calculus). the subject areas might give more context, and my chemistry course isn't introductory. they're also notoriously very difficult, and most people end up retaking this chemistry course several times. they're both needed for my degree and a similar degree. someone in both classes (2 different people) made group chats specifically so we could help each other. at first it was a very good idea, and i myself benefitted from them, managing to get a really high mark on a math assignment because of the group chat and sharing our work/processes.

this term is the one term we have a mid-semester break, and while the details are irrelevant here, i went away during this break, and i came back in a fairly poor mental state. i didn't want to share my work anymore, and said i was uncomfortable doing so. this got me mocked (i believe, but no one's commented on it or said anything to me about it) in my math class group chat when i asked for the notes after having to leave class early due to the noise. i have misophonia, and i was incredibly close to shouting "shut the fuck up" one say when they honestly just wouldn't stop talking. it's been a problem this term in this class where several groups in the class have been chatting amongst themselves during lecture. my friend (i think we're friends?) emailed our professor (i think i was named in the email), and he addressed the class about it, but as a whole, has told me directly that there wasn't much else he could do about it since they might be talking to each other to understand better.

at this point, there's only about 3 weeks left of classes and then finals, so it's not worth dropping out, especially since i don't think i'm in danger of failing. but that was all kind of just background info. it's been a rough semester for me.

in my chemistry class, we have weekly lab reports. they aren't huge, 10+ page reports, and i can usually do them in about 2-3 hours of work total. i usually work on them in small pieces throughout the week, so i can focus on other assignments as well as lectures. they're due at the beginning of lab, and we have lab on friday afternoons. this wouldn't be an issue if not for thursdays.

at the beginning of the semester, i made myself kinda known as Someone Who Has Answers. i like to help people when they're struggling, and i know that these are difficult classes, and i have past experience taking them with these instructors specifically, so i helped in any which way i could. after our mid-semester break, i was in no mood to help anyone. but on thursday evenings and friday mornings, i would get text messages from a few people asking me about the lab report. but not just a few messages. i would get asked on EVERY BIT of the lab report. i try to be patient, as i understand hidden struggles. but i was at the end of my rope. i never snapped, and i always tried to help them, but sometimes i was very frustrated because on thursdays, i have 2 classes (doesn't sound like a lot, but at my school, my lectures are 2-3 hours long, so it's about 5 hours total of lectures) at two different campuses, so i leave at about 7:30am and get home at about 5:30-6:00pm. it's my night to clean the kitchen as well, so my patience is very thin at the end of the day. i never agreed to help them, and they are texting me. i don't know how to tell them "i'm in no mood to help" but it made me so upset to the point that i was saying that next semester, i wouldn't give my number to anyone. i'm not a tutor, and i'm struggling to stay afloat myself in these classes. i don't have all of the answers, and tbh i'm not even confident on most of my answers. i've tried to make this clear, but they still come to me for help. next semester, i'm retaking ANOTHER course that i failed (not failed, but didn't get a high enough mark to move forward) and i honestly feel like a dick for not helping when i could and should help.

this is probably a nonissue tbh. i'm on the verge of dropping out myself because i took on too much this semester and this just kinda feels like it's all more than i can handle.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bigchumpus · 5 months ago

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your pirate au is everything, I just discovered it and. my heartttt </3 /pos your art style is incredible too, the way you draw hair and your design for Pearl's wings are both just. woah. mind blown. gorgeous.

Just want to point out a few things I love!! :)

The quotes from the sketches page: "how do you reunite with someone you thought was dead" <- MY HEARTTTT "almost died" "wings are clipped"

That one instance [screenshot from this post below] of Grian's eyes being depicted as purple after he joins Scar's crew (and presumably whatever incident left him almost dead/"injured and unconscious"), as opposed to the brown they were as a kid? The strong implication that something (or someone? the watchers perhaps? I'm assuming it's something to do with the old crew that took them in as kids) were responsible for it.

"...one day things go awry"

And excuse me again for taking a screenshot [from this post], but the one image in which Grian's eyes are obscured by a bandage, complete with a watcher symbol and a glowing purple eye?? And Pearl's eyes being purple too? And they're both dressed in purple robes... just. insane /pos

The watchers are typically depicted as an oppressive force, and yet they both look happy. IDK. Something something juxtaposition, childhood innocence versus the purple symbolising something that's very widely regarded as cruel or even evil.

All this is to say I really really love it so far!!

and also... absolutely zero pressure at all! but would you perhaps be willing to share some crumbs on the story? :)

SEFJJRHPORDHJ Awww gee! You've made my day! :D Never thought people would really notice the little details

I'm not very good at detailing moth wings which is why I went for more of a starry feel, so I'm glad you like it 😆

And since you've asked so kindly, I could share some ideas rotating in my head,

When you're a kid, I don't think you realize as much the cruelty adults are capable of. Especially when they've been treating you kindly for the most part, and the progression to harsher conditions and punishments is slow. (Pearl would've been the first to notice.)

Grian and Pearl were already stealing to survive, having nothing but each other, so when the given the offer to be spared from their decimated town, and leave as a pirate, they took it. Grian would regret that a lot later :D

I've also been pondering over the idea that no one, including Grian, realized he was an avian, because he wasn't born with wings. So was taken from his nest by hunters who'd thought he'd been stolen (hybrids aren't always treated well, and sometimes hunted down in this au, though by the time they're adults that seems to change a bit), and then taken to an orphanage (which he'd run away from) when they couldn't afford to raise him for very long.

On the other hand, Pearl was born with her traits and would live in hiding with her parents for the first few years of her life, before it'd just be her mother and her, and then just Pearl as hunters had gotten to them.

So when the two met, Grian would often use the fact that they look similar to his advantage, like "Well I'm her brother, do I seem like a hybrid? Then neither is she!"

I think in return for certain protection, Pearl would've taught him some of the basics of the alphabet and reading,

And later when they're recruited to be raised as pirates, maybe Grian would be better at the magic stuff, whereas Pearl would be better at the fighting aspect. Idk I just like the thought that they'd cover each other's bases :D

And during the beginning of the period of time where they're separated, I think there would be mishaps where they expected the other to be there, the way it'd always been.

Something something, survivors guilt and Grian maybe not being as kind and trusting as he used to be, and never making promises. Still loyal although all his presence has ever achieved is death.

Something something, Pearl still clings to the feather he'd once given her, keeps searching because she knows he's alive - he has to be alive, still wonders about if she had just been stronger—

and maybe Pearl sees a bit of her old sun in Gem, and maybe Grian learns to trust in others and himself again with Scar.

Iwouldrambleabitmorebutwe'rekindofinapickleatthemoment-

#I'm literally stopped on the side of the road because the car started emitting smoke #is this a sign to not become a writer #thanks for the ask!#the ice cream is melting D:#grian #pearlescentmoon #sky duo #skyblings #they mean everything to me ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽#pirate au #ramblings #hermitblr #trafficblr #ask

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aviyinglet · 10 months ago

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Pixel Yinglets 0.975 is now out for PC!

Hello, everyone! Hefty update today with a bunch of changes and customization options, getting closer to making this presentable as a cloneable public avatar. The Quest version will be live in the next few hours; you can buy this model for $30 on my fascinating Gumroad page, as early-access pricing before it hits 1.0. Details and changelog after the jump!

I finished 0.96 thinking "Ah, time to relax!" and then it was made clear to me during a meeting with friends that the leg rigging couldn't wait any longer -- so I devoted the entire week of working hours (and then some) to releasing 0.97 -- and the following night of experiences made it clear to me that some bugs needed fixing and more work was needed to improve the new-user experience, so now we're at 0.975. The model now has full digitigrade leg rigging on PC, but also a whole bunch of customization options for character creation, including face/body sliders and separate hue sliders for the body and eyes. In retrospect I'm embarrassed as hell that I waited so long to rig the legs properly, but I like to think I went through my hard knocks fixing it.

Because this is now cloneable, I can confirm that this is very functional in six-point full-body tracking. Putting this in the hands of experienced FBT users (my life-partner and several good friends) was revelatory, and has convinced me to get a set of trackers myself right after Vancoufur. Body language changes a lot!

The next update will probably not come as quickly as this one, but it will feature retopologized hands/feet and toggleable clothing. We aren't done with body customization yet, but I consider this a pretty good start!

The public version of this is currently in the wild, but I'll be waiting till .98 to buy Furhub ad space for it. I'm committed to maintaining feature-parity between the free and paid versions of this, with greater customization through production files as the draw for the paid version. Any questions or concerns, please let me know. <3

CHANGELOG:

02/28/2024 & 03/02/2024

VERSION 0.97: THE "LET'S DIGRESS" UPDATE and VERSION 0.975: THE "LET'S DIGRESS" HOTFIX

(PC-only currently, will have Quest version added in less than 24 hours.)

Feature additions:

Radial menus for body characteristic customization:

Hue sliders! Only visible on PC, since it requires the Poiyomi shader. Body and eye colors can be customized independently.

Shelltooth length.

Snout length.

Snout width.

Snout roundness.

Ear roundness.

Ear length.

Belly size.

Chin height.

Hip width.

Underfluff density.

Digitigrade leg armature on PC version, using constraints. Your hip bones should no longer completely dislocate when you crouch! :D

Front and back fur patterns! In the "Base Fur" layer category in the .psd is a "Patterns" subcategory, with "Front Pattern" and "Back Pattern" subcategories that can be toggled, recolored, and customized as you please.

Credits page, accessible from the main circle menu! Tell all your friends!

"Read this first!" page, which summons a plane containing helpful tips for first-time users.

Geometry tweaks:

Raised feet slightly to prevent them from clipping into the ground.

Adjusted shelltooth angle to prevent it from clipping into the lower lip.

Retopologized legs! Now significantly less boxy, and they stick out less far in front of the body (I used Valsalia's "Anatomy of a Yinglet" as reference).

Retopologized ears. The inner part's concave now!

Added blendshapes for all the customization sliders.

Added a bit more volume to the breast size blendshape.

Tweaked waistline to be more yinglet-y.

Tailtip now tapers more to a point.

UV/texture tweaks:

Added front and back fur-pattern layers, toggleable in the PSD.

Repainted legs and ears.

Repainted the weird transparent pixels bordering the tops of the hard black sections of the legs.

Made eyebrow anti-aliasing pixels actual transparency instead of the default fur color.

Changed credits page to use pixelated fonts.

Condensed color legend on texture.

Added "Read this first!" UI elements to texture. (Will be cleaned up when I expand the texture canvas for clothing.)

Armature tweaks:

Re-weighted feet. Still not ideal, but hands and feet will be retopologized for the next update.

Constrained feet to plantigrade ankles.

Added glasses bone. This and the skirt bones will factor into the next major update.

Added bones for individual whiskers.

Other tweaks:

Assigned default values to most properties between 0 and 1.

Radial menus have been reorganized. All customization sliders are nested in a Customization submenu.

Fixed default lid minimizer not firing in eyelid animations.

Restored eye sparkles on Quest.

Known issues:

Feet rigging is passable but could be better; I'll throw myself at it after feet receive the hand retopology.

Can't yet toggle front and back fur-patterns. (There's an issue with decals that causes them to not retain the hard edges of the rest of the model's pixelated texture.) Will be fixed in a later update.

#my art #furry #yinglet #furry art #avi art #avi 3d #vrchat avatar #vrchat model

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moonlitlex · 3 months ago

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ok. final thoughts on doctor who season 14 (2024) (because maybe if i say all of this i will finally stop thinking about how much i hate this season)

short version: i'm this season's biggest hater. if this season has a million haters im one of them. if this season has 1000 haters i'm still one of them. if this season has one hater it's me. if this season has no haters it means i have left this world. if the world is against this season i am with the world

long & nuanced version (under the cut)

i'm just really, really, really disappointed. i've always said that good writing can redeem any project, and it kind of feels like they just took it in the exact opposite direction this time. there's so much that went wrong and like 99% of it is down to the writing. i did a rant on my youtube channel (which i'm not gonna link here because i want to keep these accounts separate) and it was like an hour long so i'm not gonna go into detail but i'll just go over my main issues with this season

fifteen lacks depth. i think he's a very generic doctor lacking his own eccentricities. after the first season the doctor usually has quite a distinct personality, but i don't think we got that with fifteen. just compare the kind of characterization fifteen has at this point to like... eleven in his first season. he was a lot more fleshed out. we got to see multiple facets of his personality. it seems like they tried this with fifteen but everything we got to see ended up being really surface level. the susan thing just kind of happens. the rogue thing just kind of happens. he faces racism and he's just kind of incredulous and then the episode ends. it's not explored. the show just moves on to the next thing and we don't get to see how he deals with it.

ruby lacks depth. similarly, i think ruby is a very generic companion. she's a young woman from present day london which isn't in and of itself a bad thing but it's not backed up by much. like, what do we actually know about ruby? she's adopted? she was left on a church doorstep by her biomom? she loves her mom but is still disappointed she can't find her bio parents? these are all plot relevant things. what do we know about her outside of the stuff that is necessary for the plot? job? friends? life before the doctor? there are a few tiny glimpses, but not enough to make her a developed character.

fifteen and ruby's relationship is boring. they never fight. they never disagree. they never argue. they're never angry with each other. they never challenge each other on anything. they're shown to have this amazing best-friend rapport but it's never developed or fleshed out. it just kind of happens. one second they're meeting and the next second they're bffs who never disagree about anything and are always on the same page. it's just not an interesting dynamic.

i found ten and donna to be a very compelling dynamic but that's because they actually have a real friendship and have to deal with conflict and challenges and disagreements. times when the doctor and companion challenge each other are interesting. this is a feature of some really beloved doctor who stories for a reason. dalek wouldn't be so well loved if rose just agreed with nine the entire time. the conflict makes the story more compelling. meanwhile ruby can't even muster an ounce of discontentment with fifteen for the entire season.

season finale payoffs were not compelling and are in my opinion a result of prioritizing shock and surprise and social media buzz at time of release over telling an interesting story.

sutekh is not automatically a compelling villain and the way that arc is written is so... bland. he appears and kills everyone and the next episode they just hit the reset button. fine, doctor who has done this before, but there was interesting character writing back then to distract you from the baffling story decisions.

the season 3 finale had flying jesus ten but it also had interesting character dynamics. this one had sutekh defeated in the most confusing way possible (if he got his power from the time vortex why is it killing him now....) but there's barely anything going on in the character department. it's rtd so i expected hamfisted deus ex machinas, but i didn't expect the lack of care on the character front.

the susan thing was just... it came out of nowhere, didn't really make much sense, and then it immediately disappeared. the doctor thinking it's his susan was just confusing for me and it didn't land. like why would susan.... do that? why would she be basically following him around the universe by weaving herself into the scenery everywhere he landed? this is never even addressed. they just get the tardis anagram and he immediately jumps to it being his susan and you're not really sure why he's so convinced and it's never really explained.

ruby's mom being a normal woman literally just doesn't make any sense. it's never explained. "we thought she was really important" doesn't just do all the inexplicable things. why and how is ruby able to make it snow if her mom is just a normal person? why does the song in his soul scare maestro so much? why is sutekh of all people unable to figure out who her mother is? the reveal is played as a criticism of the audience for building up ruby's mom to be this huge mystery, but it wasn't the audience doing this - it was the writers. these are the clues they laid out and they're never explained. "doctor who is more fantastical now" also doesn't make any sense. fantasy has rules too. you can't just do whatever you want. the world still has to be internally consistent. the reveal by itself is a nice moment but it's just disappointing that they decided to laugh at the audience for taking their show seriously.

i've seen a lot of people compare ruby's mom thing with clara's impossible girl thing. i would like to point out 2 differences that make clara's impossible girl arc superior. first - clara's impossible girl arc never tries to weasel its way out of the mystery. the point is that who clara is is more important than the mystery surrounding her. ruby's mom mystery tries to erase the mystery entirely. second - clara's impossible girl arc is resolved the way it is because of clara. clara is a person who takes an action because of who she is. it shows courage and selflessness and care for her friend. ruby's mom mystery is solved by ruby and the doctor finding a database where they can match ruby's dna to her mom's. it doesn't say anything about her character. her character is irrelevant to the resolution.

i've also seen it compared to the hybrid thing from season 9, but with the hybrid there was never anything unexplainable happening in the first place so "it was just the characters obsessing about it all along" makes sense because it literally is just the characters bringing up the hybrid all the time.

the individual episodes are not... good. here are my opinions on each of them

church on ruby road - ok introduction, weird pacing, the goblin song was just tonally off compared to the rest of the episode

space babies - genuinely makes the doctor seem like a sadistic asshole at times like he keeps laughing at the literal babies for being scared of the monster and this is played for laughs (???), boogeyman reveal thing literally came out of nowhere there was no setup and it made no sense and was never really explained, a lot of tonal whiplash in this episode, poor exposition choices at the start

devils chord - maestro was a fun performance but nothing else about this episode is interesting, there are no beatles, the 4th wall breaks are tonally inconsistent with the rest of the season

boom - ruby gets sidelined but making ncuti act without being able to move any of his body slaps as a concept and while it was too on the nose, the thematic messaging aspects of this episode are coherent and don't talk down to the audience, some side characters get to be relevant to the story and moderately developed (mundy, splice, the dad), splice's actor was far too old to be delivering those lines and it didn't land well, the dad ai defeating the ambulance ai was a bit too much but was in line with the power of love and faith theme so i'm conflicted on how i feel about that

73 yards - did nothing right. there are a few minutes of good welsh folk horror at the start before that aspect of the story is undermined by those people in the pub. ruby gets no character development. the horror atmosphere is abandoned at the start and the horror concept is abandoned entirely partway through the story in favour of the political stuff with roger ap gwilliam, which is kind of resolved in a really anticlimactic scene which doesn't matter anyway because everything just gets undone at the end of the episode. there are no answers.

it's not a good horror story because 90% of it isn't horror. it's not a good political drama because nothing happens. it's not a good character study because we don't get to know anything about ruby's character. i genuinely think rtd has forgotten the kind of stuff he's written because he called this the best thing he's ever written and it's literally not even in the top 10 doctor who episodes he's ever written. like midnight is right there. the waters of mars is RIGHT THERE. this episode is all setup and no payoff.

also - i might just be autistic, but the "can i pay with my phone" joke doesn't land because not everyone can actually accept digital payments yet! it's like... an extremely normal question to ask. i literally ask all the time unless i see an "apple pay accepted" sign because sometimes the answer is "no, we only take cash or card". i know it was supposed to be something about how ruby thinks she's in the past or welsh people getting wrongly stereotyped for being backward but maybe rtd should've come up with a line that would actually be offensive and not just a completely normal thing to ask in 2024.

dot and bubble - this is probably my most controversial take. i hate this episode. i think it's a poorly written bad episode. and furthermore i think only people who are disconnected from all discussion around racism think it's got genuinely good commentary. for MOST of this episode, it's a "kids be on they damn phones" thing. like, genuinely. lindy can't even WALK without her phone. there's nothing in the episode to tip us as the audience off to the idea that the dots hate them because they're racist. everything in the episode is pointing at "the dots hate them because they're stupid as fuck because they're always on that damn phone".

lindy at first seems like a flawed but sympathetic character, and this could genuinely have worked with the racism commentary. if it's about them being racist cause they're sooooooo fucking stupid, maybe don't have lindy be an irredeemable extremely racist character who kills someone. maybe she's repeating all the rhetoric she's heard her entire life without ever thinking about it. maybe trying to convince her racist friends to give the doctor a chance gets her socially isolated. maybe it's about echo chambers and social bubbles. maybe lindy as an individual has no malicious intent either way but she still behaves in a racist way and still ends up siding with the racists because they're her friends and she wants to fit in and be part of the in group and trying to not be racist because the doctor seemed kinda nice got her socially ostracized so she perpetuates racism regardless. but none of this is what happens. this is a reading you can get out of it if you're really dedicated to reading into a story written by a guy who doesn't give a shit about racism.

lindy and all her friends are stupid and bad and racist and the doctor is still desperate to save them for some fucking reason and he doesn't even get to SAY anything to them, he just laughs incredulously and that's his entire reaction. the commentary in this episode is baby's first lesson on racism. it's a message of "racism is bad and stupid" tacked onto an episode with a message of "being on your phone is bad and stupid".

it's shallow. it has nothing to say. it's very clearly a story about racism written by a white man who has never had to even think about racism. the entire writer's room for this season was white as well. rtd didn't even think he should maybe consider giving the racism episode to a black writer. he just wrote a full episode where the message is "racism is bad you guys" and patted himself on the back for his social commentary. i think it's embarrassing that people praise this episode for opening their eyes to racism in the real world and helping them understand it better. literally all that tells me is they've been closing their eyes and covering their ears every time a person of colour talks about racism. like black fans have literally been talking about racism in doctor who for decades and clearly none of you listened to any of them because you're here watching an episode with an "omg racism is bad guys" message going "wow, i never though about it like that!" that's because you're an asshole.

"wow i didn't even notice that everyone in this episode is white!" that's because that's not out of the ordinary for doctor who. or for television in general. this isn't revolutionary commentary. it's an indictment of the season 14 writer's room that they thought they could write this episode without even taking a look around their own writer's room and thinking "huh, everyone here is white too. maybe we should try to change that." this show has been predominantly white for MOST of its history. i'm a huge critic of the chibnall era but at least that guy hired poc to write for the show. at least the bad racism commentary in rosa (which was, to remind you, "the future racist is wrong. racism is bad. also the entire civil rights movement was basically a happy accident") was written by a black woman. at least the weird british empire glorifying shit in the partition episode was written by an indian man (to be clear, stuff written by poc also deserves to be criticized. my point is just that at least chibnall had the basic common sense to hire people who knew more than him to write these stories). rtd didn't even consider this. not even a cowriter.

it's just embarrassing to watch white fans falling over themselves analyzing how this episode is soooo deep when it's simply not. racism isn't silly goofy stupid. it's dangerous. it gets people killed every day. it's even more ridiculous that the racism is addressed in the future episode but not anywhere else! fifteen goes to 60s england and... nothing. he goes to 1800s england and nothing. sure, future people are racist. whatever. are we seriously sanitizing the real, actual, real life racist past of britain? and then patting ourselves on the back for it? and ricky september being considered not racist? like, reading a book doesn't suddenly make you not racist. racist people aren't necessarily idiots. plenty of highly educated people are racist. making ricky explicitly racist while also a clearly smart character would have added nuance to this episode, but rtd didn't do that. watching a black man beg and plead with rich racist white kids to please let him save their lives is just... ridiculous.

there are countless (and i do mean countless) works by actual people of colour that discuss racism in a far more nuanced way. that go beyond "racism is bad and racist people are stupid". there are specifically black british shows you can watch that actually address racism and have real commentary on it outside of what you would expect a toddler who has just learnt about prejudice to say. shows that aren't about coddling while people. watch shows made by and for people who aren't white. read books written by and for people who aren't white. and don't just watch and read this stuff to "educate yourself" on other people's experiences. watch it because it's art. because it's entertaining or funny or interesting or dramatic, just like stories that are about white people are allowed to be. and stop praising an episode with a racism is bad message for being good racism commentary. seriously. we already know racism is bad. this is embarrassing for you.

dot and bubble was a "kids be on they damn phones episode" with "racism is so bad guys" tacked onto it and white fans fell over themselves explaining how it opened their eyes and it was so deep and meaningful and powerful and it was none of those things. it was bland and shallow and honestly really boring they spend WAY too long hitting us over the head with how the kids are so stupid cause they're on their damn phones. you should be embarrassed. if this episode was the first thing that made me realize racism exists and is bad you couldn't waterboard that out of me. grow up.

rogue - rogue was an underdeveloped jack harkness ripoff, there's no development of the relationship between him and the doctor, ruby got nothing to do, the proposal came out of nowhere, the chuldurs were an interesting concept but they literally didn't even do any of the larping they were there for apart from the one who was lady emily. murder is not a prominent part of bridgerton or similar regency era romances that they were supposedly there to cosplay

legend of ruby sunday - this episode is literally 99% exposition. like i'm not joking. there's exposition and exposition and exposition for the whole episode and at the end sutekh appears and kills everyone. also "i will kill everyone" is like. not a compelling motivation. doctor who is full of guys who want to kill everyone. there's nothing making sutekh particularly scary or compelling apart from the fact that he thanos snapped the whole universe and that's also not particularly scary or compelling because he spares the main characters AND because you know they're gonna hit the comic book reset button next episode. sutekh being attached to the tardis since pyramids of mars is unconvincing personally (it would've made more sense if it was since wild blue yonder)

empire of death - ??????? ruby's mom is just a normal woman. they leash sutekh like a dog and drag him through the time vortex which kills him for some reason and also hits reset on his kill switch for the whole universe and that just fixes everything. ruby calls her biomom her real mom instead of carla which just really rubbed me the wrong way. she exits the tardis to stay with her family and it's... fine. you never see why ruby and the doctor were attached to each other so them saying goodbye doesn't hit home. nothing happens and then suddenly everything happens. the fact that the reveal is unconvincing makes the whole thing worse.

conclusion: i think rtd ran out of ideas for doctor who. i think he shouldn't have come back. i think the 60th specials were season 4 fanfiction. i think they should've given the showrunner position to a different writer entirely. i think 8 episodes is far too short for a doctor who season (flux being an exception because it was one ongoing story). i think the bigger budget and better production value can't save a show with poor writing. i think gatwa and gibson are acting their hearts out and i wish they had better material because i really like both of them in these roles. i'm also kind of sick of murray gold's music at this point. he won't let emotional moments just sit and it's really annoying how every time anything happens there's a swell of music. i think rtd should give up on racism commentary and just hire someone else who can do it justice if he really wants it to be in his show. i think rtd should shift focus back to the characters and their interpersonal relationships because that's what he's good at and his plot resolutions have always been underwhelming deus ex machinas. i think they should give this show more episodes. i think they should change the broadcasting times to be a better slot in the uk and the episode should go up on streaming at the same time or after it airs. this season has little glimpses of potential (some of boom, first few minutes of 73 yards, episode concepts in general are quite interesting, more fantasy in doctor who is a fun concept) but squanders all of it with flat characters. i started dreading watching the next episode after a while because i kept hoping it would be good and then i would hate it.

but i still care too much about doctor who to not watch the show so i guess i'll be here this time next year picking season 15 apart. woo.