#the first one is so funny cause he literally said absolutely nothing throughout that lil interview

[cruesuffix]

just found a whole bunch of mick interviews randomly…think this is the most he’s talked throughout the 80’s so i think we should consider ourselves lucky rn.

[magicxc]

Frenemies

Pairings: Survey Corps - people they cannot STAND

Word Count: 1076

Warnings: none

A/N: Idk man I love a good tussle jskksks. Like give me two characters who absolutely hate each other! And with AOT I really don't have to look too far, yay. This is basically canon but it's funny to think about so here it is as well. 

Headcannons Masterlist

Eren  - Jean, Weak People

I think the Jean one gets over exaggerated a little, and for good reason too, cause the girlies be EATING with those tropes. But at the end of the day they have a mutual understanding and are cordial at best. They're mostly cool because they share mutual friends and spaces but it’s no longer beef per se. 

Hear me out, I don't think anyone wiping out 80% of humanity is willing to kick it with people who aint about it. Mans need someone who’s willing to stand on business behind him. Even throughout the show he’s always admitted to not liking people who’s willing to live like “livestock.” So this is not to be confused with physically weak people by the way but psychologically weak people. Essentially Eren has beef if you’re willing to take it lying down. 

Levi - Zeke

Listennnn I LIVE for their fight scenes okay lmao. Like it's almost always on sight for them and their lil jabs at one another? It’s chucklessss for me omg. Lets be clear, their beef is absolutely warranted. It can be safely argued that Levi doesnt really care for most people but Zeke?? Oh baby its all smoke for him. 

Erwin - The Government 

I swear if it wasn't for the literal fate of humanity and his brewing theory Erwin would've just said fuck it cause baybeeee, they wanted that man GONE. They've tried to get him fired, pointed guns in his face, and built a whole ass guillotine to unalive him; in front of the entire town mind you. Maybe that was the custom back then I don't know. I don’t remember Erwin outright saying that he doesn't fuck with the government but fuck it, I’ll say it for him. Cause I'll stand ten toes down behind this one here. 

Connie - Ymir

I promise you I let out a nasty ole chuckle at the thought cause he don't even dislike her fr fr. I think it's a situation similar to Eren and Jean's in the sense that their friends and environment often see them in the same places. Because if we’re being real, not only do they have little in common but they just don't really vibe like that. I think they could've been a little more cordial but Ymir be on her own timing and it's usually at the expense of the squad. Like when she made fun of Connie for suspecting his mother was a titan or when she kidnapped Historia like 3 times and put them all in danger. And I can't even be mad at Connie for being the voice of reason cause him calling her ugly was simply the truth. I, too, reared back when I first saw Ymir's titan form. 

Jean - Eren, Reiner, Annie, Bertholt

The whole Eren thing is basically squashed but it’s worth noting that if he were to see him in public, he’d walk the other way. 

I lowkey had to dig deep for this one cause I genuinely forgot. But even though they’re all kumbaya now, those three bitches literally watched his homie get half his face chewed off by a titan. Jean is absolutely pouring one out for Marco every birthday by the way, but yeahh it’s still fuck them. Like if they were playing uno stacked, he’d save all his draw 4’s and make them draw 16. 

Onyankopon - Yelena

I'm not too sure that Ony dislikes anyone honestly. But I'm going with Yelena here mostly because she’s the reason he found himself in his current predicament. On what was supposed to be a solid plan in motion to save his people quickly turned into Ony modernizing a primitive people, helping build their resources from scratch, having people question his race (and I'm willing to bet my bottom dollar it was mfs that got ignorant), seeming untrustworthy among his peers, almost getting killed, fighting in a war he had nothing to do with, and probably losing his entire family in the rumble. Now, one or two of those things were inevitable, but if you were to view things from Ony’s POV everything went to shit over a bitch with a fatal attraction to a man with daddy issues. 

Reiner - Himself

Lmaooo I LOVE a good Reiner drag. And while this started out as a joke, I'm deadass now. This man stays talking about wanting to end it all but never follows through, smh. With lots of therapy and support, I genuinely think that Reiner would be on the road to recovery and a healthy lifestyle; but there’ll always be that lingering thought on if he’s worth it or not

Honorable mention: Ymir. But solely because she would get in the way of his fantasy life with Historia. 

Armin - Floch? 

This munchkin is damn near Tanjiro levels of sweet cause omg who does he even hate??? He is always looking for the good in people and I'm about to dislocate my shoulder reaching this hard BUT, hear me out - It’s Floch even if he doesn’t outright say it. The same Floch who damaged the flying boat and almost ruined their mission before it even started? The same Floch who fucked it up so bad that Hange had to sacrifice herself which resulted in Armin taking on an even bigger responsibility? The same Floch who got in a lil too close with his bestie Eren? Close enough to be trusted with his future plans? The same Floch who when he lay on that ground bleeding Armin was nowhere in sight? Even at the port where they attacked the Yeagerists and Armin got shot in the face, he pleaded with his old comrades to stand down but Floch is beneath that level of reasoning huh? Whether Armin despises Floch or not it's safe to say if Floch were getting jumped, Armin would definitely sneak in a kick before helping. 

Floch - Erwin

This is literally one of those cases where its like I disagree but I understand lol. That man legit made them do a suicide charge and yeah he lead the charge blah blah blah but I could never be that brave. And so that resentment is understandable but in all fairness it shaped Flochs character for the better to be honest; cause that whole pwussy boi arc was annoying. 

Also adding the main cast of the Scouts lmao. They thwarted his plans and he spent his DYING breath standing on business. Gotta respect it.

Tags - @eveningatthemoviesnetwork

[satoriberry]

I love the baker s/o it’s SO CUTE!! Could you please continue it with Akaashi, Oikawa, kei and osamu pleeaasssee🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

‣ Currently growing: What they'd be like if they had an S/O that's gifted in baking!

‣ Pairings: Akaashi Keiji + Oikawa Tooru + Tsukishima Kei + Miya Osamu × GN!Reader

‣ Watch out for: Me calling Oikawa the reader's whore, nothing more. Happy reading! (〃^∇^)ﾉ

‣ Berry's note: nah cuz YALL ATE THAT FIRST ONE UP??? HELP?? ok but im actually so happy shsksjd i just dont know how to react cause this is the first time something like this happens :]

Part one! ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ ) Part three! ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ )

• Akaashi Keiji:

- One word comes to his mind. Cute. Literally his first thought.

- He seriously thinks you with an apron, oven mitts, flour all over your hands and a messy kitchen surrounding you is the most adorable sight ever and no one has the right to disagree.

- He doesn't do much himself, he prefers to observe you do your magic. BUUTTT he will assist! ( `･ω･ ´)

- You want more flour? Measured and ready. You need more sugar? Getting it right away. Your hands are too busy and you can't reach that jar of jam? He's getting it for you.

- He doesn't say it but his favourite thing to do is to sit down on the floor and watch cakes rise. Only cakes though, bread is overrated (/j). Yes, you've walked in on him multiple times, ass on the floor and eyes glued to the oven (isnt it canon that he does weird stuff sometimes???)

- I like to think that Akaashi is a major book enthusiast (in highschool) so he likes to get you really cute dessert books! He gets so happy when you make him something using a recipe from that cookbook.

- Omg pack it in a lil box and give it to him, do it DO IT. he doesn't laugh a lot but he'll let out a really subtle giggle after you hand it to him. doesn't matter if it's a confectionary he likes or not, he doesn't want his sweetheart to feel awkward about gifting him something.

- Don't let him try baking, for his mental state, please don't. He'll overthink each step so easily that when something ACTUALLY goes wrong, he'll feel so guilty because he messed up something his lovely partner could do so easily and- yeah <3

- We all know he fiddles with his fingers a lot, and it's because of his nervousness right? And him being nervous means he has a lot of pent up anxiety throughout the day, right? Imagine him releasing all these negative emotions somehow....and by somehow I mean abusing some bread dough.

- LISTEN IT'S SO FUNNY?? If you're in the school's baking club, he'll walk up to you, hands neatly behind his back and he'll just say, "Hello Y/N-san, can I have some bread dough? <3". "B-bread dough?". "Yeah."

- 5 minutes later, he's kneading that bitch like his life depends on it. Smacking it against the counter top, punching it, borderline assaulting it. You're just standing there like, "Keiji, I love you, but what the fuck?" and he'll simply answer, "Life is so stressful. Advanced classes are turning diffcult, I lost my black pen this noon, Bokuto-san has been sulking the entire day, my mom said sh- Oh yes my love? <3"

- It's his therapy so DON'T FORGET TO HAVE SOME BREAD DOUGH READY!! Then you bake it and eat it with him (nom nom)

- He loves that you have such a nice hobby, he's like your little cheerleader.

• Oikawa Tooru:

- He's your whore.

- JKJK. However, he'll go coocoo crazy if he finds out that his S/O is at good at baking, he thinks baking is so complicated. Won't shut up about it for the rest of day, after that, he calms down.

- He's always asking you when's the next time you're making something, because if you aren't, he'll show you his pinterest board with cute animal shaped bread. It's almost as if he's been waiting to show it to someone...

- I feel like he can bake a few things only. Each is very specific: fruit cake (that absolutely disgusting, atrocious cake with dried fruits inside), lava cake, banana bread and pound cake. Anything other than these 4, he can't even imagine doing.

- If you're a part of the school cooking/baking club, he'll visit you everyday. Sits on the countertop (much to your dislike) and just watches you be in the zone. Will drop a few "Woahhhhh"'s and "WOWWWW"'s if you do something cool (just pull out a stand mixer and he'll be like "Technology!🤖✊��")

- If you ask him to join....he'll be so happy. Like, seriously. He'd think you're joking but when you hand him an apron and ask him to work with you, he'll feel so special, especially if you guide him and show him some techniques.

- If you work at a bakery or something, will try his best to visit you at every shift. Also pretends he doesn't know you and now your coworkers think this really hot guy is hitting on their junior baker 💔

- If you make him milkbread....makes out with you-

- Nahh, (ahaha unless???) but he WILL show you off (and the bread 🙄). Goes into the 3rd years group chat (convince me they dont have a group chat titled something like "we [dont] get bitches everyday 💪😈" LMFAIOAOAI) and sends a photo of him engulfing you in a hug with some bread in his mouth and hand. His friends were terrorized by him after that.

• Tsukishima Kei:

- Tsukishima doesn't like to make a big deal out of things, so I don't think he'll care THAT much.

- I feel like his owk teammates would be more invested in your baking skills than he is. Like, if the other 1st years see you making something in the club room, they'll gather around you and watch you like little kids (kageyama will lose his shit if you whip some egg whites, he thinks its some kind of sorcery)

- He doesn't really care until Nishinoya and Tanaka decide to spend the afternoon break watching you make some cookies. He saw you 3 through the door's tiny window, chatting loudly.

- He felt a pang of jealousy in his chest, but he didn't admit it to you nor himself. He slowly walked into the room with his hands folded, the two boys not seeing him behind them. You noticed him first though.

-You were really happy to see him since he never visited, so after quickly rinsing your hands, you pulled him into a tight hug. He didn't even need to glare for Nishinoya and Tanaka to get the memo, they excused themselves and hurried out the room (laughing like lil bitches).

- You asked him what brought him here all of a sudden to which he answered (he's lying), "I got this feeling you were going to mess up something. I don't want to eat cookies that have sugar instead of salt."

- You looked at him, confused, which in turn made him raise his eyebrows. "So if I'm not wrong, you came here to help me? And you also want me to give you some of the cookies?" You stared at him, an amused expression on your face.

- Immediately regrets his shitry lie but he will stay with you for the rest of your break. Slight to 0 chances of him helping, will watch you struggle if something goes wrong 😈.

- HIS MOM LOVESSS YOU!! Everytime you come over, she steals you and you two spend your time together by making a fuck ton of baked desserts. Will talk about Kei as a child.

- "When he was 7, he used to think the word 'mop' was an insult so he would always use it on Akiteru if he gets mad and it was so ador- Y/N honey, that's the self rising flour, the recipe calls for fluid flour <3". Bonding hours lololol

- After a while though, your hobby begins to grow on him and he finds a good way to share it with you....by explaining the chemistry behind baking.

- You're making meringue? He explains why it goes from egg whites to floofy stuff. You're kneading dough? He'll explain why you KNEAD to knead it (ahaha pls laugh). He actually enjoys researching this stuff, and he gets kinda eager to talk to you about it.

- (Courtesy of it being his birthday 2 days ago) If you make him strawberry shortcake...he'll smile. Yeah, he'll give you a legitimately content smile and stare at you with the most loving look. It's kind of concerning ngl...will take a bite of the cake and kiss you so you taste it yourself-

• Miya Osamu:

- POWER COUPLE.

- It's fucking canon he's a bitch for food and cooking. So imagine how giddy he'll be if his amazing, hot and beautiful S/O is like, a god at baking? Or just bakes in general???

- That's definitely the thing you two bond over. Anything that has to do with food, he likes.

- I imagine you two meeting each for the first time because of your baking. So what if one day he saw you showing your newest test trial to your friends? You packed some Palmier cookies for them to try and evaluate, which caught his attention from afar.

- He'll walk through the classroom door and hover over your shoulder like, "Oh em gee what's that?". People assume he's the more shy, timid twin, which isn't completely true. He's just as dumb reckless as Atsumu, only better at hiding it.

- He'll flutter his lashes and try to smooth talk his way into some cookies, which wasn't necessary since there was more than enough for you, your friends + Osamu.

- The lil smile he gave at your agreement was so wholesome <33. He proceeded to take a cookie, stare at it for a few milliseconds and just chomp it. He then took another one. Then another one. Then almost a 4th one before your friend pushed him to save the rest for you.

- He did not hesitate to show just how much he loved these "fancy heart sugar biscuit thingies" were. Was maybe a bit too loud but you still appreciated his kin words.

- Even when you two get together, he'll be just as enthusiastic when you bake something. Maybe ever more since you're together, so he has "aggressive affection" privileges.

- WILL BE SO HAPPY HE HAS SOMEONE TO SHARE HIS CULINARY PASSION WITH!! Seriously, he's so excited whenever you have him with you in the club room. He feels like your trusted assistant.

- If he ever sees something online that he thinks you'd like, he'll bookmark it for later‼

- Buys you cute kitchen tools and items. Matching aprons, CUTE WHISKS!! (tiny whisks are so fucking cute), a bear honey jar. Anything to make the experience more fun :]

- If you work at a patisserie shop, he'll think you're so awesome?? Like, his S/O is so good at baking??? that they work??? at a patisserie shop??? and people buy and love their baking??? How???

- Thinks you look hot while baking. Not even in a sexual way, more of a "admiring the love of my life" way. Like, the way you know what you're supposed to do, how to do it and when to do it is so interesting to him. And you having a genius for doing it is so attractive to him. He likes smart people <33

- Brags about you all the time, unapologetically. Will brag about you to Atsumu, to Kita, to Aran, to Suna, to the lady that works at the local market, to a random classmate. Will also take any chance to mention how you two are culinary geniuses. He thinks it's cool how he's like the chef and you're the baker <3.

- Moral of the story: you're good at baking? Osamu is a fucking simp for you. No room for discussion.

‣ Berry's after-writing note: WHY DID IT TWKE SO LONG RO FINISH BROOO??? HSKSH anyways, thank you so much for requesting, lovely anon!!! and thank you to anyone who enjoyed part one, yall are so sweet <3333

[yarichin-imagines]

Hi!!! okokok, how bout a s/o who has a kind of quirk (just like bnha!), how do you think they would react? Like, I think they'd probably integrate into something related to sex or develop a kink (? LMAO

y'all i am so into bnha you have no idea!! also, for neutrality purposes, i'll be using the quirks of deku, todoroki, bakugou, uraraka, kirishima, denki, sero, iida, and satou, all from class 1A, mostly just because none of their quirks rely on physical appearances!!

tw: impact, dubcon (drugging, somno), dummification if you squint

Toono – S/O's Quirk: One for All – This Quirk is a union of two different Quirks, one that stockpiles power and one that passes itself on to another. The user can momentarily gain strength and speed far greater than any other Quirk and hero.

thankfully by the time he'd met you, you'd mastered the use of your Quirk

you were never the prance about type to flash around your power anyway

you preferred to use it for more mundane tasks – like opening pickle jars and carrying the groceries into the house in one trip

he found out about it on accident

he was on his way out when he caught you in the parking lot coming in––

with your car in hand, two feet off the ground

you'd dropped your fob somewhere underneath it and couldn't see

toono passed out

when he came to, his first questions revolved around whether or not the car was okay

once he wraps his head around it though..

he's way more into it than he tells you

but it also fuckin terrifies him

so much so that he really doesn't want you to use it on him

definitely has watched you use it so intently that he can nut off to it later

maybe one day he'll pluck up and ask you to activate it for some pictures he can keep

Kashima - S/O's Quirk: Half-Cold, Half-Hot – This Quirk splits the user into two, half of the user's body can emit ice, the other half emits fire.

honesty is a pillar to kashima's relationship

your quirk came to light a month or so into seeing him

and at first, he was mostly excited about the health benefits

he decides then and there that you gotta do him a solid and chill his side of the bed

that way he can keep cool when he sleeps

sometimes

even if he's half asleep

he'll grab your right hand with a lil soft tug

and in your drowsy stupor you chill his pillow so there's no need for a flip

makes him grin like an idiot every time

when he comes home from practice or from the gym he has you freeze and unfreeze the bathwater-- saves you guys a whole lot of ice

he doesn't mind letting you ease his muscles with your left side after all the heats works wonders that would make any rice pack green with envy

as a top, kashima's got complete control in the bedroom

all day, he'll ask you to close your eyes and heat something up, maybe it's a vibrator or a dildo

or when you chill something, they're usually beads or a plug

all for him to torment you with later on that night

Yacchan – S/O's Quirk: Explosion – This Quirk allows the user to sweat a substance similar to Nitroglycerin from the user's palms and ignite it to create explosions.

kyosuke recognizes it's too dangerous to use in the bedroom

but that being said, there's plenty of other stuff around the place to let you show off

your firework shows are always the best on the block

especially when he sets some off right when yuu isn't expecting it

mainly, yacchan appreciates your quirk when it comes to pulling pranks

It's really funny when you're popping ziploc bags full of nothing right outside tamura's dorm when he's trying to power nap before exams

and even funnier when he storms out in just tighty whities to yell at you

only to meet the flash of yacchan's cellphone

toono will fall asleep during study sessions sometimes and yacchan will facetime you so you can let out a boom and wake him up

he will most definitely fall off the bed and yacchan will most definitely record it

the two of you are the best of the worst that way

Shikatani – S/O's Quirk: Zero Gravity – This Quirk allows the user to cause people and items to float on contact. There is a weight limit on how much the user can levitate, and if this Quirk is used to much, it will cause the user to get sick.

it's really helpful when you help him deep clean

after all, if the supplies are gracefully floating behind him, that leaves his hands free to do twice the work, saving him half the time

but you're content to watch the beautiful boy work

if you help him clean like that, he won't ask for much more that day

he is very very conscious of how much you use your quirk

because he cares about you too much to let you get sick

since he knows for a fact that because of his ocd he won't be able to take care of you

and that stings

so on the days where the chores have all been done he gets the honor of experiencing the effects of your quirk in bed

he likes how it feels when your tease him from the air above

your throat feels more open

but it's not like he can do too much about it since the instant he gets too eager you always float just out of reach

sometimes if he's behaved very well, you'll suspend him

the headrush he gets is euphoric

but the best is how good you are when you blow out his back with your strap

after all, without gravity, your stroke game is literally out of this world

Akemi – S/O's Quirk: Hardening – This Quirk allows the user to harden any part of their body. This shell can withstand several tons of metal falling on the user, along with shock waves, explosions, etc.

there's nothing cuter to akemi keiichi than a brat

if you want to misbehave?

by all means

go right ahead

he'll leave it to you to exhaust yourself

that's the first time he saw you use it

he wasn't aiming to cause any major damage, he was only spanking you with his hand

but he'd been at it for almost an hour

then suddenly he'd pushed you off him after he'd slapped what felt like a solid rock

not that it could stop him

his eyes only grew darker

from then on out, it was all a game to see how far he could push before the shell wore down and you gave into him

Itome – S/O's Quirk: Electrification – This Quirk allows the user to discharge electricity out of the user's body. It goes out in all directions around the user, and can be used to even charge objects, such as batteries. There is a limit to how much this Quirk can be used, and if used too much, the user will short circuit their own brain, and won't be able to do anything for an hour.

of course you can charge his phone in a pinch when it dies at the worst possible moment

hotwire his car when he's already running late

restart the fusebox when there's a power outage

after hours, itome's not a hard dom

not in the slightest

but every once in awhile, he can be particularly malicious

like when he has you overcharge your vibrators to give him the liberty of overstimulating you for longer

really it's less about the scene and more about what comes after

due to the limits of your quirk, aftercare is all on him

that's what he likes the most

taking care of you completely

being able to coax you through your braindead state

clean you off and pose you all comfortable

you're all the sweeter when you come to, when you come back to him

Yuri – S/O's Quirk: Tape – This Quirk allows the user to shoot extremely strong tape from openings on the user's elbows.

the tape is good for fixing most messes yuri gets himself into, clumsy fuck

also waxing!

of course he's gonna be into it

he loves the sting it leaves when you pull it off him the most

and he feels it all over again when there's red rectangular patches all across his skin the next morning

though the gluey part is a bit of a pain to wash off

sometimes he'll leave it for him to pick at throughout the day -- that way he'll get the shivers, makes him hot all over again!

he literally cannot get enough

when you do your school work or anything that diverts your attention from him, he'll be tugging at your elbow

this way you can restrain him until you're ready to ahem

put him to use

you can also use your tape to toss him around, floor to bed to floor to wherever

sometimes you even tape up his face, cover his mouth until the drool renders the tape into a thin flimsy strip

you tie his hands tighter and tighter every time, and it never breaks him

he loves it

on the other hand, yuri can be quite the slippery fuck

for emergencies, you've got some of your tape stored away

you've woken up more than once hogtied, your quirk turned against you

like it or not, yuri can easily turn the tables and you're almost never expecting it

you might have an unlimited supply, but he's too quick for your own good

Tamura – S/O's Quirk: Engine – This Quirk gives the user incredible speed by engine-like protrusions in the user's calves. The engines are fueled by orange juice, and carbonated drinks will mess the engines up.

he calls a 40 meter dash every single weekend

he sets his treadmill to train for it the whole week

but he never beats you

and it seriously pisses him off

you're always faster, no matter the game

if anything, it motivates him

he'll take the bruised ego if it helps him get into better shape

the fact that sometimes, you let him win makes his "engines" overheat faster than you can blink

he'll chase you and chase you for hours

fueled on adrenaline and testosterone, there's no way he'll tap out before you

expect a long, hard bite once he catches you

he goes absolutely animalistic

that lilt in his voice when he finally gets to sink his teeth into your shoulder, even if it's through a shirt, that doesn't matter to him

"caught you"

Jimmy – S/O's Quirk: Sugar Rush – This Quirk allows the user to become stronger and faster every 10 grams of sugar they eat for three minutes. The more the user uses this Quirk, the dumber they get.

every time he catches you snacking on a chocolate bar his whole brain turns off

he's practically jumping, the way he bounces around

waiting for you to inevitably choke slam him against the nearest surface

wall, couch, bed, anything

he likes it when you just toss him over your shoulder

even more the way your hits are harder than usual

he antagonizes you on purpose

making sure to stuff a grocery cart full of sweets he knows you like so that he can catch you snacking and make him pay through the nose

he always asks so nicely

but when you won't give in, well that just won't do!

doses your miso with sugar, drops in three extra cubes in your milk tea, encourages extra flan for dessert

for the next three minutes, you're nearly tripping over yourself

everything is lighter

and then when the crash hits---

jimmy can finally take what he wants

and karma is quite the bitch

[ironxkid]

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff 

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang? 

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know? 

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!! 

[namfine]

◐ | 𝕬𝖛𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖆 : 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℂ𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕣𝕠𝕒𝕕 | ◑

Greed is an uncontrolled longing for increase in the acquisition or use: of material gain; or social value, such as status, or power.

                                               - - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Γ pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

Γ word count: 5.2k

Γ summary: When you’re in need of some quick, flashy jewelry for an event, what better place to go than a pawn shop? However when nothing catches your eye, the shop owner shows you something that you absolutely must have. But when the pricing is much more than you anticipated, you think of another way to get it. Just how far are you willing to go for a bargain?

Γ  tags: 18+, hoseok x reader, unprotected sex, oral (f), monster fucking kinda, sexual bribery(?) (if you couldnt tell, you fuck for the jewelry), he cums in you lmao, ripped panties, hair pulling, demon au, seven deadly sins au

Γ part: 3 of 7 of our Seven Deadly Sins Milestone Challenge.

⋫ Link to Master List here

Γ a/n: Welcome to part 3 of our seven deadly sins! Hope you guys aren’t too full from reading gluttony because now it’s time for a little greed. Things get a lil more freaky deaky in this chapter so I hope you all enjoy it! A new chapter will be released everyday so please look forward to the remaining sins! As always, thot on, sinners ;)

-Fizzy ԅ(♡﹃♡ԅ)

When you had first stepped into the pawn shop, you were immediately taken aback. You were so used to seeing the stereotypical dirty, everything out of place, type shops on tv that you were expecting it to be the same in person. However you were surprised to say the least, when the faint smell of sage drifted through your nose, and if you concentrated hard enough you could pick out scents of leather as well. 

You slowly walked through the shop, eyes flicking to and fro because everything seemed to catch your attention. From the organized shelves of books, to the clear, gold rimmed cases filled with trinkets, to even the perfectly stocked and alphabetized case of video games and dvd’s. However you walked right past all of those things and more to find the jewelry section.

Tonight you were attending a friend’s art gallery event and while you did have an outfit already picked out, you decided last minute you wanted to buy a new piece of jewelry to bring it all together, because let’s face it, those little pearl earrings were not going to cut it. So when you caught sight of a pawn shop you hadn’t seen before on your street, you decided you would probably find something extravagant but also cheap there. You were only going to wear it for one night after all. 

When reaching the front of the store, your eyes flick downward into the clear display full of various jewelry. There were pieces here and there that made your lips purse in consideration but nothing really jumped out at you. Walking towards the right while still looking down, your fingertips dragged across the glass, hoping that something would catch your eye. Too deep in thoughts, you didn’t notice someone calling out to you until your hand softly bumped into someone else’s on the other side of the display.

Your body jumped slightly and you pulled your hand away, an apology ready to come out but dying on your tongue once you looked up and saw who the hand belonged to. 

He was absolutely breathtaking, literally, when you looked up at him you swore you felt your breath get lodged in your throat. Your eyes landed on his gentle smile, causing his cheeks to round up into two perfect little circles, his warm eyes made an odd feeling spread throughout your chest- ‘is it a little hotter in here?’-, and his wavy black hair parted down the middle. He seemed ethereal, with his black blazer over the matching shirt and pants. On his ring finger was a bright topaz ring, a gold band surrounding it, the surface glittering softly in the harsh fluorescent lights. It was strange you thought, ‘He seems a little too overdressed for a pawn shop, no?’, his look making your eyebrows furrow slightly together.

He looked to be out of place, like a queen participating in a hot dog eating contest.

“Can I help you with anything?” He inquired softly, tilting his head to the side.

“Uh...,” You shook your head and cleared your throat, trying to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m looking for a piece of jewelry.” Your eyes glanced down and scanned over the items again. “I uh, have an event later on tonight and I’m trying to find something last minute.” You chuckled sheepishly, looking back up at the handsome man.

“Well what do you have in mind?”

“Not sure, I want it to bring my whole outfit together though.” You smiled thoughtfully, feeling your cheeks warm at the smile you were receiving back.

“What are you wearing? If I see the outfit, I can help you out some more.” So you pulled out your phone, scrolling through your photos to find the picture of the outfit you took a couple of days earlier. It was a simple little long sleeve, black dress, with a v in the back. Your simple heels and pearl earrings were enough to make you presentable, but you really wanted to present yourself.

The man studied it for a few seconds before nodding politely, gesturing to another display case further to your right. Upon reaching it, you noticed this one was filled more with necklaces with a few charms scattered about. While they were more intricate than the ones you were previously looking at, your heart wasn’t really pulling towards any of them.

“See anything you like?” There was something warm about his voice, that just made you feel calm. Which was strange, how could a stranger make you feel this way?

“I’m sorry, not really...these are all very nice though. Thank you anyway.” You glanced up at him, giving a short nod before starting to turn around.

“You know, I might have something for you.” The way he said it made you halt in your tracks. It came out as being helpful but there was something laced underneath it, something that made your body feel like it was being wrapped in chills. You turned back to him and cocked your head to the side, silently urging him to continue.

“Come, I have it in the back room.” He stepped off to the side and pulled open a little door for you. You knew it was odd, him inviting you to the back of the store. Why couldn’t he just go and grab it? Your questions continued to rack your brain, even as you began to walk behind the counter. And when you heard the click of the door locking into place, it was only then that you noticed you were the only person in the store. 

--

As you followed the man to the back, the hallway you were in seemed endless, your heart began to thump in your chest. Your gaze went upwards, the yellow lights above your head casting eerie glows throughout the hallway. You looked at the man's back, watching his shoulders move behind his jacket. Soon enough you couldn’t hear the music coming from the front of the shop anymore, the lights becoming nothing but a small dot. It had seemed you were walking forever but it was only now that you had lost sight of the front. A shadow on the wall caught your attention and as you looked at it, it went away. For a brief moment…

No that’s silly, the lights were just messing with your vision.

But…

For a quick second, it seemed like the shadow of the man had horns protruding from the top of his head.

You scoffed and shook your head, the thought being completely ridiculous. 

“Hm? Something funny, y/n?” He looked over his shoulder at you, an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“Oh ah, I was just thinking about something. Nothing worth mentioning.” You replied, still mainly focused on the wall. He gave a sharp nod, a smile gracing his face before turning back towards the front. Inhaling deeply, you continued following the strange man, until finally, he pushed aside a curtain and you stepped into a room, the sight making your jaw drop in awe.

“This is where I keep my most prized possessions, too valuable for me to put out there for the world to see.” He murmured, delicately swiping his finger over the surface of something on a shelf. You couldn’t quite make out what it was, for something past him got your attention. You took a hesitant step forward, tilting your head to the side, trying to make sense of it.

A throne sat in the back of the room, the seat filled to the brim with gold coins, a few gems and jewels here and there. You could make out a bottle of wine lodged in the center of the pile, the black color popping out intensely against the bright colors of the gold. But upon closer inspection, you noticed there was an orange light, seeming to only shine on the bottle, making you realize that it was a dark red instead. On one of the arms, was a clear crystal skull, dazzling amethysts acting as eyes. As if your awe couldn’t get any bigger, on the top of the throne was a crown, far more extravagant than the ones you had seen previously. It was jewel encrusted all around, but instead of it being gold or silver, this one was stark black. One emerald stood in the middle while tiny versions of it ran around the rim and protruding from the top of it was a bright green snake, poised as if it was getting ready to strike.

The sound of a throat clearing snapped you out of your thoughts.

He chuckled, “Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, sorry. This room is just wow, it’s amazing. I’ve never seen so many treasures in one room before.” You fingertips pressed to your lips, taking another moment to look around the room once more.

“This is the piece I wanted to show you.” You looked to the left to see him behind a glass counter. When you walked up to it, he had his hands spread out on the glass, giving you a small smirk. Your heart skipped a beat and you bit down on your lip, feeling that warmth go through your body once more. He glanced down and tapped at the glass with a fingernail, the noise making a sharp sound. When you glanced down, you felt a chill go down your spine. On the top of the glass his fingernail looked normal but in the reflection was a sharp black nail instead. Your eyes quickly looked over to his other nails to find them exactly the same; sharp and black. When you looked in the middle of where the reflection of his face should be, you had barely registered relief when you saw his eyes.

There was a sinister yellow glow, gleaming right at you. And if that weren’t frightening enough, the man smiled at you, two sharp canines peeking through. At that, your head snapped back up to look at him, but instead of what you saw in the glass, it was just his normal features. With wide eyes, you opened your mouth to say something but were cut off at once by him placing a yellow velvet box on top, the sound louder than necessary.

He opened the top and you were at a loss for words. The inside was a darker shade of yellow, a small mirror on the underside of the lid, and in the middle was a beautiful necklace. A thin silver chain adorned an oval blood red ruby, four thin, sharp prongs on each side, holding it. The lighting from above made them glimmer, causing a thought to run through your mind that they almost looked like claws. He pulled it out of the box and dangled it in front of his face, the gem swaying gently in front of him.

“That’s beautiful…” You murmured. Your throat felt parched all of a sudden, so you swallowed the ball of saliva forming in your mouth, but it did nothing to quench the growing thirst in your mind.

“How much?” You asked, taking a brief second to flick your gaze over to the man then back to the necklace. From your peripheral you could see a smirk grow on his face, his eyebrow raising up a little. The tip of his tongue peeked out to lick his lips and he leaned in closer to you. Yet, you still couldn’t take your eyes off the gem. 

“Well normally the things in this room aren’t for sale, they are for my viewing pleasure only.” He paused, taking in a breath. “But you seemed really desperate to find something so,” He paused again and that was when you finally looked away and at him, catching him eyeing you up and down slowly. When he reached your face, a sly grin appeared.

“$1,000.”

“$1,000? Are you fucking serious?” Your eyes bugged out at his answer and you couldn’t help the harsh tone. However it seemed that the man was unaffected, cocking his head to the side and swinging the necklace delicately. You didn’t know much about gemstones but you were certainly positive that it was an outrageous price, especially for something in a pawn shop. 

“I am actually being quite generous with the pricing y/n, normally this goes for much higher value.” His voice took a condescending ring and his eyebrows bunched together. Worry crossed your face, you really didn’t want to pay that much money for something you were only going to wear for tonight but on the other hand you needed this necklace. It was truly something you had never seen before.

You looked at the piece of jewelry once more, staring directly into the center of the ruby. You didn’t know if you were still reeling from hearing the price or if it was really happening but the middle of the gem seemed to be swirling, looking like a mini vortex. Anger flashed through your body and you had half a mind to just snatch it out of his hand and make a run for it. Your fingers twitched at the thought and it appeared that the man noticed, for he jerked his hand up and caught the ruby in his hand. His fingers clasped shut around it, completely obstructing it from your eyes.

“If you think you’ll be able to get away, you won’t. I’ll have you pinned down before your fingers even got to touch this necklace.” He hissed in a low voice and you didn’t miss the way your body shivered at his tone. You pressed your lips together and chose your next words carefully.

“This is a pawn shop isn’t it? Can we negotiate?” As soon as the last word left your mouth, you felt the tension in the room shift. He squinted at you and leaned in closer to your body, staring intensely into your eyes. You tried your best to not look away, your heart beginning to speed up at his close proximity. The corner of his mouth quirked up into a smirk, the action making your breath hiccup in your throat.

“Depends, what are you willing to give?” He muttered, now looking down at your lips. He didn’t even try to hide it, for his gaze lazily rose back up to your eyes. He was so close that you could see details on his face more clearly, like the mole on his top lip or the hint of yellow slowly whirling in the center of his eyes…

Your eyes widened at noticing it but before you could move away, he brushed his fingertips on the top of your hand. He put his other hand next to your faces, letting his fingers open to allow the necklace to drop. It swung before coming to a stop, the want and need of having it coursing through your mind once more.

You needed this, and you were going to get it one way or another.

You pressed forward, feeling just the barest of touches when your lips made contact with his. He didn’t move so you took that as your sign to continue. You closed your eyes, your lips now fully on his and moved against him, small flashes of yellow going off behind your eyelids. You heard the sound of something, the necklace you presumed, clatter against the glass top of the display. His hands gripped the side of your face, now kissing you back with more ferocity. A nip at your bottom lip caused you to gasp, and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth.

You felt like your head was clouded, the lightheadedness making you dizzy. A moan slipped past you and your hands wandered up to grip his suit, the material oddly clearing up your mind, acting as a sort of grounding object to bring you back down. You attempted to jerk him towards you, wanting more of his touch, but he dropped one hand off your face and grabbed your wrists, throwing them off of his body. You stumbled a bit forward and smacked a hand on top of the glass to steady yourself, slightly breaking your kiss. You wasted no time in going back, hands going around his neck now, kissing with such hunger and need. 

The man used his free hand to knot itself in your hair, he tugged your head back and went to bite at your neck, his teeth making you gasp. Your hands dug into his hair and gave small tugs, your breathy moans urging him to bite harder. You needed more so you tightened your hold onto his hair and pulled him back up to your mouth. Surprisingly he allowed you to do so and when your lips locked, you raised a leg and pushed yourself up on the counter. He moved back to allow you more room, sliding your legs down on the other side and opening them to let him stand in between.

He grabbed your waist and brought you closer to himself, the feeling of his erection against you made a wave of pleasure go to your core. Your legs wrapped around his waist to lock him in and he grinded against you, squeezing your waist every couple of seconds. His hands slid down your thighs, fingernails digging into you. The subtle pain made you gasp against his mouth and you almost moaned out loud again when he pushed your legs apart, using one hand to guide you onto your back.

He reached up to unbutton your jeans and undo your zipper, yanking them down when he finished. He tossed them to the side and put his mouth right over your mound, moving his lips against your skin. Your legs went to lock around his head but he delivered a swift smack to the outside of your left thigh.

“Keep your legs open for me sweetheart.” He mumbled against you and dragged his tongue up your panties. You let out a low moan at the feeling, lightly tangling your hand in his black hair. He didn’t protest so you twirled a few pieces in between your fingers, the silky texture easily sliding between them. He hooked a finger into your panties and pulled them to the side, taking a quick swipe up your folds, the abrupt feeling of his tongue made your voice hitch and your hips to jerk upwards. His finger that was holding your panties, went to the center and you felt a sudden pull and the sound of material ripping. You lifted your head to see what had happened, but he suddenly pulled your folds apart and licked up once more.

“Fuck,” your voice squeaked out, head dropping back onto the glass. He dug in, tongue licking up and down your pussy, his nose nudging your clit every so often. Your legs trembled, wanting to lock around his head and you almost gave in until you felt two sharp points prodding at the inside of your folds. Your legs twitched at the feeling but you brushed it away when his tongue shoved into your hole. An obscene moan left your mouth and you tugged him impossibly closer to your cunt. You felt that same sharp point directly on your clit now, circling around it lightly.

Your pussy clenched around his tongue and it seemed to spur him on, the sharp point now pressing slightly harder on you. It only lasted a few seconds before his thumb replaced it, pressing harshly onto your clit and causing pleasure to travel throughout your body. It circled around you rapidly, his tongue now moving at what seemed like an impossible speed inside you. Soon that familiar tug pulled inside you and your hips rose upwards.

“Pl-please, I’m gonna-!” You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before your orgasm ripped through your body, your mouth open in a silent scream, your pussy spasming around his tongue. You came down from your high, your breath coming out ragged, and looked down at him. He smirked at you, your arousal glistening on his lips. His eyes looked faintly yellow in your hazy vision. You became slightly more aware that there were more points pricking into your thighs, dragging down. You were pulled up and into a kiss, tasting yourself, his hands going to your lower back. He let you go and grabbed a hand, pulling you off the counter. You allowed him to guide you and when you noticed him leading you towards the throne, you felt your already aching pussy clench.

He barely gave you time to settle before he turned you around and pushed you onto the pile of treasure in the center of the throne. You landed on your palms, feeling some coins slide from beneath your hands. You adjusted to resting on your forearms, the wine bottle directly in front of your face. Upon closer inspection of it, you could clearly make out that it was a dark rusty red color, with a faded label on the side. The glint of the crystal skull caught your attention to your left, but you didn’t have time to glance at it, for you felt your shirt being lifted up and over your head. Before you had a chance to settle, the back of your bra was pulled and you felt it give away. A hand went to your front and yanked it away from you, the coolness from the coins brushed against your breasts and nipples, instantly making them harden.

You heard the sound of clothes rustling and heard a muted thump. Giving a quick side glance, you saw his jacket on the floor. The sound of his belt buckle clinking and then it being thrown to the floor had your hole clench. He kicked your legs apart and rubbed his cock in between your folds, hands going to hold onto your waist. You shivered in anticipation, the combination of him spreading your arousal and the cold contrast of the coins made your mouth water.

“Are you ready for me, darling?” One of his hands left your waist to drag down your back, those sharp points you had been feeling making your spine arch up, you were enjoying them at this point. You gave a meek nod and soon he was stretching your walls, bottoming out in no time. Your fingers splayed out and dug into the pile of coins for support, feeling your breasts touch them when he began to move. 

He wasted no time in pounding into your cunt, the force of his hips making you moan out like a whore. One hand went to go fist in your hair, twisting it around his wrist for a more secure hold. “Look at you, such a greedy little thing. Such a greedy little whore for my cock..” You bit your lip at his words, your eyelids fluttering closed.

“Do you always fuck strangers for things you want? Are you that desperate for material things? You little slut.” Opening your eyes, you could see his reflection in the bottle, that one orange light highlighting the object perfectly. His form began to slowly shift before your eyes, and even though you were getting the fucking of a lifetime, you were still coherent enough for a wave of fear to travel through your body.

Maybe it was all the bright lights or you were still delirious from your powerful orgasm but soon enough you saw two pointed objects begin to protrude from his head, and a pair of wings slowly sprout from his back. Your chest quivered but yet you couldn’t bring yourself to scream, at least not out of fear. Panic mixed in with euphoria, the idea that you were here having sex with something not of this world oddly made your already sopping cunt, gush even more. When his wings softly flared out, you kept telling yourself you were just imagining it, and even when you felt something soft brush against the sides of your waist, a small part of you prayed that it was just because all of your senses were on overload.

The more you stared at the reflection, the tighter your body became. What was even happening right now, why are you still here? Why had you not pulled away and ran while you still had the chance? As you racked your brain for answers, there was a tiny voice that kept pushing through, telling you what you didn’t want to hear. That throughout all this, there was a familiarity from it all. That you had seen this before; the wings, horns, the aura of the creature. You briefly wondered if you were pulling it from an old horror movie you’d seen a while ago, but it didn’t sit right.

As if sensing the puzzle coming together in your head, several sharp pricks were dug into your waist- you quickly put two and two together with everything happening, and deduced that they were claws- you felt him pierce through your skin, the sudden pain making you gasp out loud. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the reflection, and the final nail went in when his eyes locked with yours. With a sinister grin, he blinked and two bright yellow eyes stared right into your soul.

With a cry of terror and pleasure, your orgasm came abruptly, your thighs shaking so uncontrollably that your forearms gave out, and you fell against the mountain of coins. You felt him slam into you a couple of more times before his cum filled you up to the brim, feeling it dribble down your legs after he pulled out. You laid there for a couple of seconds to catch your breath, and you were afraid to turn around and be face to face with whatever just gave you an orgasm of a lifetime. 

Gathering your bearings, you pushed up and silently counted to three, not bothering to hide the shock on your face when you saw him looking normal. No claws, no horns, no wings, no glowing yellow eyes…

He zipped his pants and picked his belt up from the floor, smiling at your expression. When you still hadn’t said anything, he picked up his jacket and folded it over his arm, heading towards the counter. You reached down for your shirt and bra, fumbling around trying to get them back on. When you finished you still had not said a word, silently going to the counter to reach for your pants that he was holding out to you. You put them on but still couldn’t shake off your feelings.

He chuckled softly at you and picked up the necklace, giving it a soft look before handing it to you. Wordlessly you took it, the cool metal feeling hot in your hands.

“Well, a bargain is a bargain. Sorry about your panties by the way. Are you alright?” He questioned with a laugh, moving a hand up to smooth down his hair. It didn’t even look out of place, completely untouched.

You brushed it off, still confused about everything “Um...I’m-I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me, I-” You stopped and swallowed, the realization that you just fucked a stranger for a necklace setting in. A flash of horror crossed your face, and you almost cried until he shook his head and gave you a small smile. 

“Don’t be, we all do crazy things when consumed with greed.” Even though there was a smile on his face, it barely did anything to ease your discomfort. 

“The necklace is yours, come, I’ll walk you outside.” He walked around the counter and nodded towards the front, silently following behind him. The walk to the front was shorter than you remember, the yellow lights you recalled being there, now just white. When you stepped out of the backroom, it was still bright outside, and there were still no people inside. It had felt like you spent hours back there.

When you walked out the door, you still felt uneasy. What exactly had you seen in the reflection of the wine bottle? Why was your need for the necklace so intense?

Something clicked in your mind and deciding that you wanted to leave with some sort of dignity, you turned around to ask him a question.

“I’m so sorry, but I just realized I didn’t get your name,” Heat spread across your cheeks but you continued. “I just got…overwhelmed.” You gave a sheepish smile and he smiled back at you.

“My name is Hoseok.” He grins and gives you a small bow.

“Thank you, Hoseok. For um, this.”

“You’re welcome, next time be careful what you bargain for when you want something.” His tone was playful but chideful, and you couldn’t help but give an exasperated laugh. You gave a politeful nod and turned around to head to your car.

“Goodbye y/n, have fun at your event tonight.”

You almost didn’t register what he said, until you did. You hadn’t told him your name. When you turned back to question him, your heart stopped in your chest when the pawn shop was no longer there. Instead it was just an empty, abandoned building. Deciding that you had enough and needed to get out of there, you sped to your car and drove as fast as you could to your house, wanting to get away as soon as possible.

--

Your nerves relaxed when you reached your house and got ready. The last thing you put on was the necklace, feeling the ruby flare against your skin. You fingered it gently, the memory of fucking Hoseok burned into your brain.

Once you arrived at your friends art event, you immediately fell into the chatter and hustle of everything. Friends were complimenting your outfit left and right, especially the necklace. You met up with your friend, giving her a congratulatory hug and kiss. You were so deep in conversation that you didn’t notice a mutual friend of yours staring at you, or more so your neck. You were about to question what was wrong until she pointed a finger at your neck.

“Y/n, sorry but do you shower with that necklace on?” You bunched your eyebrows together and your hand went up to clutch it.

“No, I just got this today. Why?”

Now your small group of friends were all staring at it, the stares making your face heat up.

“Your neck is turning green.”

You paused for a half second, then took out your phone to access the camera. Sure enough, there was a thin line of green on your skin. As you looked more at the necklace, you noticed small details of rust on the chain and the ruby that was shining so brightly before you left, was now dull and lifeless.

He had tricked you, he had given you a fake. 

[asterekmess]

S3A - E1

Okay, instead of making like massive reblogs of thoughts as I have them for the episodes, I’m gonna just make a massive bullet point list that I’ll add to throughout the episode, so you get One post per episode instead of “Like all nine million of them.”

I put Read-More’s because I care.

Thoughts (of which I have far too many):

I’m in the first ten seconds of the fuckin episode. Why the fuck is Braeden electrocuting Isaac? Like, look, I wanna like Braeden. I have issues with her entire moral system, but I still wanna like her cus’ she saves Isaac. But...how am I supposed to do that when the literal first thing she does is electrocute my boy??? He’s knocked out, not DEAD (not that that’s how shocking someone’s heart even Works) and it’s not like she needs to trigger the healing process. He’s already got Gaping slash wounds on his chest. He’s hurt enough. ALSO. “Be quiet”?? R U Serious? You’re electrocuting him. YOU try being quiet with fucking jumper cables on your chest.

The CGI...is so bad. Oh my god. What the absolute fuck. it looks like Sharkboy & Lavagirl. And why aren’t Ethan & Aiden’s claws doing anything to the bike?

I AM CONFUSION. If the twins don’t have to take their pants off to do the Transformers shit, why do they have to take off their shirts? Can...can I just skip that? Make the big bad werewolf wear an ugly hybrid of two of their stupid ass sweaters? Or do Ethan and Aiden really just like being shirtless that much? (I wouldn’t put it past them)

What is with Braeden and the electricity?

The writing in this show, what the fuck? “I thought I told you to hold on” EXCUSE ME, ma’am. He literally just passed out. His bad I guess.

Guess who has to add the anti-scott tag to this now? Anyway, I hate that Allison’s bit in the intro is her kissing Scott and then drawing the bow. Like, they’re broken up. They don’t get together in this season. Why are they kissing in the intro? That had to have Totally pissed off Scallison fans.

There’s my boy, holding up lizard tattoo designs. Pls tell me he took a pic and sent it to Jackson with the caption “It’s YOU.” Like, yes, way too soon, but man it’s fuckin funny.

This tattoo artist is a good-ass salesman. However, p-sure he’s not a good-ass artist if he had to wrap Scott’s arm up That badly. Like...they have stuff for that. Fuck, the one I got on my ankle, they used SaranWrap and Tape. Just needs to be kept out of the open air for a bit. You don’t need like eight layers of gauze. I do feel for Scott tho. That tat probably cost him like $50-75 before the tip. Oof.

Eyyy, time to be salty. Ya’ll know I love Allison, but does it get any more clear that she totally bailed on everyone after the warehouse? She went to France! She doesn’t even know what happened to Jackson after he got cured. ALSO. Lydia says “Derek taught him the werewolf 101.” Not Scott. Derek. XP

Lydia, honey, leave Allison alone. If she doesn’t want to go on the double date, go alone and make it an orgy. Fun, right? Wait, no. Don’t. You’re 16. Don’t do that!

When exactly did they “agree to give each other the summer”? She said “I’m breaking up with you.” he said “I’ll wait” and then she cried into her dad’s arms. Like...why didn’t we get to see this apparently incredibly important conversation? (maybe because it didn’t happen??)

I fucking LOVE the “I’m just gonna say hi. HEYYYYY! You know....they probably didn’t see us.”

The most horrific thing about that moment was the bad CGI.

I WANNA POINT OUT how cute it is (in a like, sad way cus’ she’s terrified) that Lydia is close enough to Stiles now that she immediately goes for his side and they like insta connect with the eye contact. Not in like a Stydia way, but like, they’re close. she trusts him and goes to him when she’s scared, even though he’s human and you’d wonder if she shouldn’t go to Scott instead, since he’s the werewolf.

SCOTT WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THE DEAD DEER. Your ability to smell chemosignals/sense emotions has nothing to do with touching. Stop poking the dead animal.

Wait, WHY is there a full moon in that shot? The full moon isn’t for like a week! I COUNTED.

...what? Why the fuck does Braeden think Scott’s an Alpha? Why tho? Like, seriously? WHY? He’s not an Alpha yet. Nowhere near it. And if she knows bc Deaton told her (i think he was the one who hired her) then shouldn’t she know he isn’t one yet? IF SHE KNOWS that she can tell Melissa abt werewolves, WHY doesn’t she know that Scott’s Melissa’s son? Where is the LOGIC?

Scott’s morning routine is giving me Legally Blonde vibes. ~my perrrfectt dayyy, nothing standing in my wayyy~

I can’t tell. did Allison get highlights, or straight up dye her hair brown?

This sweet moment between her and her dad. Yes. Pls.

I will admit, I like getting to see each of their mornings.

Lydia...who are you fucking? Honey, you’re sixteen. Why isn’t whoever the fuck is in bed with you also getting ready for school? What.....the fuck?

Completely different Beacon Hills High School set. I really can’t blame the writers for that.

Wtf Davis? You list Erica and Boyd as being 17...since when? They’re supposed to be entering their Junior Year of high school. They would be 16 GOING ON 17. ANd what the hell do you mean Erica’s birthday is August 16th? She said in the last season that she’d “Just turned 16 a month ago” that was Spring semester. ???? Come on, guys. Seriously. Writing 101, getting to know your characters. I don’t know anyone writing a novel who doesn��t know the exact birthday of their characters. Plus, they cut 2 in. from Gage Golightly’s actual height, while adding an inch to Sinqua’s (according to google, which isn’t always reliable) Whatever. Boooooo.

Uh...that principal was threatened by the Argents. Victoria herself promised to torture him if he didn’t resign. Why does he look so surprised by the fucking sword in his office? For that matter, why is he at the school at all? He KNOWS the Argents attacked him. This should cause problems!

Honestly, Lydia, I love you. Like, go for it. Nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to have fun. My issues stem from YOU BEING 16. Yes, teenagers have sex. But this is ridiculous. Why is there so much sexualization? I knew a grand total of like....two teenagers who had sex at 16? and like one who did at 15 (which they say in canon she and Jackson were banging before her birthday). Like, it’s not nearly as common as y’all are making it out to be. Knock it off.

WHEN DID MELISSA MEET ISAAC PROPERLY? WHEN did that HAPPEN?

....so why didn’t Derek answer the phone? They literally never explain? He shows up, so...why didn’t he answer?

I’m SO InCredibly Disturbed by Jennifer having everyone’s phone numbers. HOW? In What Way is that REMOTELY appropriate? WHY did no one question it? Why didn’t STILES or LYDIA question it?

So tiny, bugs me so much. He didn’t turn his phone off. He turned his screen off...is it that hard to have him do the right one?

uhhh. Werewolves can smell other werewolves. Wanna tell me why Isaac can’t tell a werewolf just walked in the room? An ALPHA no less?

why TF are Kali’s iris’ and pupils so fucking massive?

So...what was the deal with the birds? Don’t they say later that Jennifer like summoned them? So they aren’t from the Alpha pack scaring animals? And also, how would the Alpha pack be scaring animals if they’re like, in the middle of town? They said in S1 that “wild animal sightings are up” like what 75% or something? “As though something is scaring them out” but that made sense, bc we knew Peter was running around in his full-shift (it’s a fucking full shift, it’s just fucked up) in the woods. But these Alphas aren’t, they’re integrating. So is it Jennifer that the animals are afraid of? Like, does she have sPoOkY aura or something?

More bad CGI.

WHy is no one responding to the woman stumbling around in nothing but a hospital gown?

ONCE AGAIN. Werewolves can Sense Werewolves. SCOTT you sensed Isaac in a BOYS LOCKER ROOM. DUKE IS RIGHT THERE. WHT THE FUCK?

angry smoker doctor  “Why don’t you wheel this joker out of here?” “I’m gonna go smoke” Grrr

Sir. clearly your mask wasn’t tied on appropriately. it shouldn’t just Fall Off when you touch it. there are Protocols! STOP THE SPREAD. also, someone wanna tell me why none of these alphas can keep their claws in? A lil flashy flashy red eye would’ve done the trick just fine.

Okay no, seriously what the FUCK is up with these contacts, you guys? THEY”RE MASSIVE???

Ugh, can I just *swoons* “I’m an Alpha!” slice “So am I.” That is just so fucking smooth. Woo. I feel so safe ohmygod. PLUS. Derek KNOWS Ennis. I can’t imagine how satisfying that had to be.

Uh, Derek, honey. You’re Isaac’s legal guardian. You can just Sign Him Out of the hospital. With clothes and everything. What are you doing?

Honey, what do you mean the county took it over? If they were gonna do that they’d have done it six fucking years ago. Unless you gave it to them, it’s still yours? I did the research. Like HOURS of it.

What do you MEAN there’s a magic healing herb that helps with Alpha wounds? Since when do Alpha wounds need extra healing, I thought they just took a lil longer? ALSO why is it growing INSIDE your house???? SCOTT. Isaac is fucking UNCONSCIOUS. Can your tattoo fucking WAIT A MINUTE?

I have so many questions. WHY does Braeden know who Allison is? If Lydia’s immune to magic, WHY is Braeden able to bruise her? WHY can Braeden DO magic? and WHY is Chris allowed to take Lydia out of school?

ALLISON you had Geometry LAST YEAR why are you holding a GEOMETRY BOOK??

ohhhhmygod, Derek. Derek. DEREK. Your eyes are pretty on a normal day. That little Blink and ruby reds thing? Ohmygod. I just. I wanna take a picture and just stare at it BUT. how tf does this whole red eye thing work? You can see in the dark....but now you also have x-ray vision? You know, I could believe it was thermal vision...maybe? If Scott was still healing for some reason maybe the tattoo would be brighter? Otherwise I have no idea what is going on.

BUT SCOTT”S NOT 18??? He’s Still fucking 16, or even 17, but not 18. WTF? He needs parental consent in the first place (i should’ve mentioned this in the other note abt the tattoo)

uhh...seriously? When someone breaks up with you and tells you not to talk to them anymore...why do you need a reward for doing as they asked? Like, yeah, you’re sad, I feel that. But making it a ‘reward’ sounds kinda weird. You know what makes it really easy not to text the ex that doesn’t wanna talk to you? Delete her number.

WHY THE BLOWTORCH? SOMEONE WANNA EXPLAIN? Peter’s not covered in tattoo from when he was literally burned alive, why the FUCK would a blowtorch create a black tattoo on Scott’s skin?

DEREK. HONEY. Why would Stiles be able to hold Scott still??? Scott’s a werewolf.

All this bullshit to explain away Posey’s tattoo that he got. Like, damn dude, we all like tattoos, but you have a job that needs bare arms on the regular. That was kinda rude.

Where did braeden get clothes? I forgot to ask.

uhhhh. Ephemeral might technically work in that sentence, but that’s still really awkward.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY HIS DOOR? YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. And WHY the instant fucking grr face? “why’d you paint the door?” uhh, leave him alone? He can do what he wants? It’s his house? Also, don’t get all fucking rude about the alpha pack. He told you it was a rival pack.

KALI. PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON. JESUS.

Why exactly does Scott see the symbol and INSTANTLY put together that it’s got anything to do with the Alphas or the animal attacks? Where is the logic jump there?

What exactly was the POINT of popping your claws if you were gonna kick her in the face???

UH, Melissa? Why didn’t you tell Scott that there was a whole other person with Isaac?

What is with the face touching, Duke? I’ve never known a blind person who actually wanted to rub their hands on my face to ‘find out what i look like?’

Really not a fan of all these weird jumps and camera angles with the awkward reflecting.

WOah WOah. Allison gets to PAINT her APARTMENT? Wtf kinda BULlshit is that? My landlord won’t let me do that. Rude.

I know they’re imprisoned and it sucks, but they’ve been there for four months, they had to have gotten bored. Do you think they broke into any of the security deposit boxes to see if anything was left behind?

Last thoughts: They really went for it with this episode. I have plans to change a lot of it. Hopefully I can mesh the changes with the general plotline.

[bonzhur]

"I have 4 brothers (one of them is younger and the two oldest are quite a lot older) so I was thinking maybe a Damian Wayne x reader (16+) where Damian and reader are secretly dating and Damian bumps in to the reader whilst they are both out with their siblings. Maybe a few of them know each other from school and they wanna hang out and Damian and the reader try and pretend they don’t know each other so their siblings don’t make a big deal about their relationship but maybe somehow they let it slip."

~♪~♪~♪~♪~♪~

Oh my gosh...

First off, I'm so sorry for not checking my asks, college and now this world wide issue. I'm so sorry!! *Bows* Please forgive me!!!

Second, I hope you can still enjoy this late reply, I'm really sorry ;-;

Guys, the keys for this story are these;

B1- Brother 1

B2- Brother 2

B3- Brother 3

Again, I am so sorry! P.S. details are lacking so I choose them for you... You'll see what mean later. Please enjoy this late reply, again, I'm so sorry!

~•~•~•~•~

I sighed as I sat on the mahogany bench, my sweat rolling down my skin as I tried to catch my breath.

"B1!"

The screech of my younger brother can probably be heard throughout the entire park, heck, maybe even Gotham. But I get how he's feeling, I'm ticked as well after all.

"What on earth gave you the great idea to drag me out of my bed to go jogging with you!" I turned my head to see B3 jabbing his finger at B1, who's just trying not to laugh. Yea, let's see that smug grin later when I beat ya for interrupting my sleep.

"What's wrong, lil bro?" B1 chuckled as he skipped a few feet away from him, holding his hands up in defense. "Not my fault you lack vitamin D and been hold up in your room with your video games, you and y/n both."

"Excuse you!" I immediately sat up and glare at my brother. "But my babies needed me, okay!"

A hand came suddenly and messed up my already bad bed hair. Not my fault B1 dragged me out of bed with no preparations, again whatever. I swatted the hand away, glaring at B2.

"Hey, I understand your struggle." He said with a look of understanding. "I bought you that switch with animal crossing remember."

I huffed and crossed my arms. Not my fault I got addicted to the game, not my fault it's one of the only games I can play with him.

A smile started forming on my face as I thought of him. Damian Wayne, son of billionaire Playboy Bruce Wayne, a student in Gotham High, and my absolutely hot boyfriend. Can't deny how toned and defined his body is~ And that ass is mine, so back off bishes! If only I can say that...

You see Damian may be my boyfriend, but we're in a secret relationship. Yea, sucks to be me alright. I do understand where he's coming from though. It's not about his image (he'd throw that away cuz he don't care) and definitely not his family, though he's adamant that I can't meet them yet (something about them never ending teasing and him not trusting they can keep a secret, also the fact that he wants to know how long it takes for them to figure it out). It's about me.

In Gotham High, I'm just a lucky smart kid, who got a scholarship. No one really pays attention to me, especially since there's more interesting people. So finding out a normal person like me is his girlfriend, let's just say it wouldn't end well. His fans would bully me relentlessly, people would assume I'm a gold digger or just a hoe. The rumours, the lies, the fights, the many ways this can go from great to worst. It's not the best situation to be, especially when Damian isn't always there to be by my side. Anything can happen and that anything scares both of us.

I groan as I quickly fixed up my hair into a high pony. It's bad enough that Damian doesn't go easy on me during training and now my big bro wants me to exercise in my rest day, not cool.

"let's just get this over with." I stood up, glaring at B1 as he innocently whistles. "I have a date with my bed and switch after this."

"So you're cheating on Pizza? With bed and switch? That's harsh." B2 cried as he clenched his hand over his chest, like the drama queen that he is.

"Maybe I should take Pizza out on a date later? Seeing as you're busy." B1 joked, fixing his black tank top like it was a suit.

"ha ha, very funny you two." Rolling my e/c eyes, I crossed my arms and walked towards them. "Now can we please just go?"

"fine, as soon as B3 stops complaining." B1 chuckled, causing me to sigh.

"I swear you three are making me loo-" All of a sudden, I felt someone bump into me and like dramatic girl, I nearly fell. But thankfully the culprit grabbed my wrist, saving me from the fall. I turn to the next victim on my list and was met with the mesmerizing green eyes of my surprised boyfriend. Shock dawned on my expression as I could only whisper. "Dami?"

"Habibti." Damian whispered back, I assume getting lost in my e/c eyes as well. Or maybe it was my sports outfit, who knows.

He pulled me up to stand and I was about to say something when I heard my brother called for me in the background. This snapped me back to reality and away from the Dreamland of Damian's eyes, pulling my hand back and stepping away from him. He did the same, now definitely looking at my outfit.

Now remember how B1 dragged me to the park for a jog. Well, it's extremely hot today and I'm not about to get out in the burning sun without a proper outfit. I.E. shorts, a tank top, running shoes, and my Batfam cap (a humor gift from B3. jokes on him, I love this hat). Now seeing how Damian is looking at my outfit, I can already tell what he's thinking, he's look at me with lust and want after all. Sweet Lord, if you're there. Please say me from this predicament I'm in. I want to walk please!

"Yo Dick, how ya been?" The voice of B1, surprised me as I turn to them. Eyes widening when I realized that Damian was with his brothers and sister. I think it dawned on Damian too, because now he moved more away from me. Sad but hey, secret relationship after all.

"Nothing much B1." Dick Grayson turned to me, eyes holding a flirtious glint when he saw me. "This your younger sister? Y/n?" He asked naturally, not like he ate me up with his eyes.

"Yea, she is." B1 said, like the confused idiot that he is. "Y/n, this is one of my old friends, Dick."

"Hi..." That's my poor attempt at interacting with people, brought to you by Social Anxiety and Depression!

"Name's Dick Grayson, this is my sister, Cass. My brothers, Jason, Tim, and Damian, who I think you met."

"Don't fool around, Grayson." Damian interrupted him. "I don't even know her."

"But you guys had a connection! Don't deny it!" Dick defended, while Cass giggled and Jason smirked at this, knowing a fight is near. Tim just went and laid on the bench, within seconds, he's asleep. Dude, the fu-

"Okay! Break it off." B2 said, pushing Dick away from Damian. "Me and my siblings have to go and finish our jog."

"oh, us too." Jason piped up. "Mind if we joined?"

"Sure, why not." B1 said instantly.

"wait, what?" Says my confused brain.

So during the jog, they explained how they knew each other, Jason to B2 and Dick to B1. Being from the same school and all that stuff, having a little fun reunion. Cass and B3 are watching Tim, who is barely awake but jogging too. I'm both amazing and confused at the same time. As for me and Damian, well..

We decided to jog the slowest, being at the back where none of them can see us or barely hear us. You can imagine how Damian teased me about my outfit and how after he's done with me, I can't stand for a week. Add some 'accidental' touching here and there, maybe a peck or two in secret. I'm actually surprised no one saw or questioned us.

Yea, that's how I felt until the end. Where Tim and B3 basically almost threw up because me and Damian are being too lovey dovey in the back.

"WHAT!"

Oh the chaos, how both B1 and Dick were celebrating about their siblings having a significant other, how B2 and Jason had a talk with each other about what to do if one of us broke the other's heart, and Cass being a sweet girl and congratulating us. She's the best.

At first, we tried to deny it, it's not like that, etc, etc. Then Tim pointed out that Damian called me Habibti, which we both, again, tried to deny it. Until Dick kabedons me and Damian attacked him. So now, they know that we're dating... Great.

Atleast now I can go to his house and be with him without fearing if his siblings see. Let me tell you, it was hella alot more fun than before.

~•~•~•~

First off, again I'm so sorry. Second, I literally typed this for an hour and a half. I need sleep.. Not my best work, please forgive me at that. It's been years or months since I last made a one shot and it's obvious in the fic, Atleast to me.

Thanks for reading this late reply post!

[grimelords]

My March playlist is finished! This one is slightly more diverse than usual, swinging all the way from vibraphone jazz to Bhad Bhabie to black metal so I’ve taken the liberty of actually sequencing it properly for you. So if you’ve got 3 hours you can listen to this straight through and be taken for a hell of a ride. No matter what you like I’m sure you’ll find something in here that you love.

Tahiti - Milt Jackson: For an unknown reason I had a big jazz vibraphone phase this month and when you're talking jazz vibraphone you're talking the Wizard Of The Vibes himself, Milt Jackson. I feel insane even having an opinion on this but it's a shame that some of the best vibraphone performances were made at a time when the actual recording technology wasn't really there, they all have this very thin quality that I think misses a lot of the great character of the instrument.

Detour - Bill Le Sage: Like compare this from 1971 to Wizard Of The Vibes from 1952, the sounds is miles warmer and gives so much more of the full range and detail of the instrument. I also listened to this song five times in a row when I first heard it, the central refrain is just so fuckin good. Like I said, big vibes vibe and who knows why.

Blowin' The Blues Away - Buddy Rich And His Sextet: Superhuman playing aside, it's unbelievable how good these drums sound. The whole first minute just feels like a tour of each specific drum and I absolutely revel in it. I feel like flute and vibes is a relatively rare combo so it's extremely nice to hear Sam Most and Mike Manieri go ham in tandem.

Yama Yama - Yamasuki Singers: A friend sent me this song that he's had stuck in his head for ten years ever since it was in a beer ad from the days when beer ads were incredible strange for complicated legal reasons about not showing people enjoying the product or something https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORfkh0OojxY and this incredible song is apparently from a 1971 French concept album where a couple of guys wrote a bunch of psychedelic songs in Japanese for an unknown reason that later became a massive drum and bass breaks album, and one of the guys was Thomas Bangalter from Daft Punk's dad! Music is crazy.

Alfonso Muskedunder - Todd Terje: I'm starting a petition to get Todd Terje to write the soundtrack for the next Mario Kart. I absolutely love this song and this whole album because it's so joyful and strange and it just sounds like nothing else I've ever heard. He seem to truly operate in a world entirely of his own.

Pala - Roland Tings: I love this song. It's like he wrote it with normal sounds and then went back and replaced every instrument with the party version. This song hands you a coconut and says welcome to the island where bad vibes are punishable by firing squad.

Keygen 13 - Haze Edit - Dubmood: There's a fucking album of keygen music on spotify and it's absolutely great and so good that someone's doing the work to recognize the value of the music this extremely weird scene produced and preserve it. If you don't know, back in the day when you pirated photoshop or whatever, you would download a license key generator which was a program made by extreme nerds who had cracked the license key algorithm to give you a fake one, and for unknown reasons they would make the keygen program play original chiptune music that someone in their nerd crew would compose. Who knows why but god bless them.

My Moon My Man (Boys Noize Remix) - Feist: The very concept of a Boys Noize remix of My Moon My Man is hilarious and it turns out it sounds absolutely amazing as well. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Low Blows - Meg Mac: I had a big Meg Mac phase this month too, listened to her album a lot and it's extremely solid. Great timing too cause her new one comes out in a month or so too. I really am excited to hear her next album because she's so good but I've always got this feeling that she hasn't reached her full potential yet, she's only going to get a million times better in an album or two.

Patience - Tame Impala: I love that the cover of this single is a pic of congas because it feels like that's the central thesis here. Kevin Parker bought some congas and is making disco Tame Impala now and I really couldn't be happier about it.

Unconditional (feat. Kitten) - Touch Sensitive: I love a 90s throwback done with love. There's nothing cynical or ironic about this it's just fun as hell!

Last Hurrah - Bebe Rexha: Get a fucking load of this Bebe Rexha song that interpolates Buy U A Drank by T-Pain for the chorus! It's a testament to how good that song is that she's using the verse melody as the chorus. T-Pain will quite literally never get the respect he deserves. Also this song goes for 2.5 minutes. There's something happening where pop songwriting is getting more and more compact, completely trimming the fat and ornamentation and it's very interesting.

Hi Bich - Bad Bhabie: Also I'm fully six months late on Hi Bich but I'm of the opinion that it's extremely fucking good. A perfect little reaction gif of a song and it only goes for 1m45!

Friends - Flume: I'm doubling down on my thesis about emo rap from last month but this song literally sounds like a Flume remix of a Hawthorne Heights song. The whole melody of it, the overlapping yelled/clean vocals. The lyrics obviously. I don't know it's just very odd how close it is. A sort of emo trojan horse to trick people into thinking The Used are cool again. 

How To Build A Relationship (feat. JPEGMAFIA) - Flume: I've been meaning to check out JPEGMAFIA (AKA Buttermilk Jesus AKA DJ Half-Court Violation AKA Lil' World Cup) for a while but this is the song that convinced me. There's just so much to digest in this. Every line is gold and delivered with massive conviction even when he realises it's total nonsense like 'dont call me unless I gave you my number'.

Bells & Circles (feat. Iggy Pop) - Underworld: Underworld alive 2019?? I love this song becuase Iggy Pop has been riding a fine line between punk provocateur and old man yells at cloud for a while now and this song is the perfect mix of both. You can't hijack airplanes and redirect them to cuba anymore and as a result it's over for liberal democracies. Just yelling about air travel for six minutes and it's good.

Guns Blazing (Drums Of Death Pt. 1) - UNKLE: This beat is some of my favourite DJ Shadow work I think. The menacing organ bass throughout, and especially the distorted drum freakout near the end. It's just great all the way through.

Homo Deus IV - Deantoni Parks: Another Deantoni Parks track like I was raving about last month. This whole album is great and flows together as a single piece of work amazingly. I love the purposefully limited sample palette of each track forcing an evolving groove throughout. He absolutely wrings every bit of variation he can get out of every single sound he uses and once you get into the groove of it it's absolutely mind blowing.

Boredom - The Drones: I love that The Drones can write a song about joining ISIS that's also a lot of fun. Spelling out radicalization in a way anyone can understand and sympathise with and then switching it in the second verse to spell out how we got into this situation anyway. 

Loinclothing - Hunters And Collectors: I love how much this song sounds like a voodoo celebration in christian hell.

The Fun Machine Took A Shit And Died - Queens Of The Stone Age: There's a good bit on the live dvd they put out after Lullabies To Paralyze where they play this song and they say it was supposed to be on the album but somebody stole the master recordings from the studio, which is an incredible and brazen crime. Then when they put it out on Era Vulgaris as a bonus track Josh Homme said in an interview "The tapes got lost. Actually, they were just at another studio, but we falsely accused everyone in the world of theft" which is extremely funny. This is really one of their best songs and I sort of really with it had been on Lullabies because it fits perfectly between The Blood Is Love and Someone's In The Wolf type of vibes, I love how it just kind of keeps shifting ideas and riffs throughout. An absolute jam overflowing with ideas.

10AM Automatic - The Black Keys: This song is an all time great in my opinion. It's so straightforward and so effective. I wonder if we'll get a blues rock revival ever or if Jack White still being alive and bad is souring everyone on that idea. This song also has one of my favourite guitar sounds in history I think - the outrageously huge sounding solo that comes out of nowhere and swallows up the rest of the mix like a swirling black hole near the end.

Gamma Knife - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard: I've never gotten much into King Gizzard and because of their one million albums already it's hard to know where to start but I've been listening to Nonagon Infinity a bit and it's great, it's just good old fashioned 70s prog jams front to back.

Gina Works At Hearts - DZ Deathrays: I absolutely love this song and I absolutely love the second guitar sound in the chorus of this song that sounds like it's made out of thin steel.

Black Brick - Deafheaven: When I saw Deafheaven the other month I was right up the front and it was a life changingly great experience AND they played this new song live for the first time before it went up everywhere like three hours later which was very exciting to be given a sclusie like that. After they finished a guy behind me whispered to his friend "Slayer..." which was very funny to me.

Gemini - Elder: I found this band because one of my Spotify Daily Mixes was all stoner metal for a while, which is a good genre to see all lined up because it'll have Weedeater, Bongripper AND Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats right there in a row for you. Anyway this album is extremely good, the very best kind of stoner metal where it's groovy and fun and has big meaty riffs and ripping big solos and it's extremely easy to listen to three times in a row.

The Paradise Gallows - Inter Arma: My big obsession the past little while has been Inter Arma ever since Stereogum posted The Atavist's Meridian from their new album. It is just so fucking good and I can't believe I've never heard of them before. You know when you find out about an amazing band and then you find out they've been around for nearly ten years and you can't believe everyone in your life has been selfishly hiding them from you?

The Atavist's Meridian - Inter Arma: I think a big part of my enjoyment of this band has also been that I discovered them at the same time as I'm listening to an audiobook of the complete Conan The Barbarian omnibus so I'm very much in the brain space for music that sounds like it would be nice to swing an axe to.

Untoward Evocation - Impetuous Ritual: I love how halfway through this kind of just turns into a big swirling mist of dark sounds. It feels so formless and dark that it could just shake apart and dissipate at any moment and you'd look down to realise your skin is gone.

Eagle On A Pole - Conor Oberst: from Genius: 'In an interview with MTV news, Oberst stated “We were on the bus one day and a friend of ours that travels with us and works for the band kind of came out from the back of the bus and said that first line: ‘Saw an eagle on a pole… I think it was an eagle.’ And then this guy Simon Joyner, who is a great songwriter from Omaha and one of my great friends, he was on tour with us and sitting there and he was like, ‘You know, that’s a great name for a song.’ We kind of had a contest where he wrote a song with that first line, and [then] I did, and a couple of our other friends. We kind of all played them for each other. Simon’s is better than mine, but it is a good line to start a song.” Another version–Mystic Valley Band drummer Jason Boesel’s interpretation–is on the next album, Outer South.' The idea that such a good song has such a braindead origin only makes me love it more.

Lake Marie - John Prine: When I saw John Prine the other month he played this song that I had never heard before and I had to look it up after and now I'm completely obsessed with it. It feels like falling asleep during a movie and missing a critical plot point so the rest doesn't make sense when you wake up but is thrilling nonetheless. Also he absolutely screamed "SHADOWS!!!" when he played it which was a fucking cool thing to see a 72 year old man do.

Little White Dove - Jenny Lewis: The drums on this whole album are absolutely huge for some reason and I love it. My favourite recent sound is in the first chorus where there's a funny little pitch correction noise as she sings 'dove'. It's very strange and very very good.

Locked Up - The Ocean Party: I only found out The Ocean Party existed as they announced their farewell show this month which is a real shame but I'm glad I got to hear of them at all because they're very good. A very good song about that feeling we all know and love: driving for a long long time.

Plain & Sane & Simple Melody - Ted Lucas: I found out about this song from Emma Ruth Rundle's Amoeba Records video and she makes a good point about this whole album sounding like something's gone wrong and it got accidentally pitched down slightly in the recording process. It's unclear if that's what happened or that's just how he sounds but it adds a very softly spooky undercurrent to a very nice song.​ 

listen here

[idiotashton]

angels

Pairing: 5SOS x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: a lil over 3k

Warnings: a couple curse words, backstory no one asked for, cuteness?

Request: “you’re the boys’ best friend and you see snow for the first time. If it’s not too much of a bother do you think you Could you please write a little something about that??” • 5saucewho

A/N: I think it’s fair to say I cannot do short and sweet. I just really love a backstory, what can I say? This is my first request, so thank you for letting me try and write this. Hopefully, I did it justice and it doesn’t suck. Apologies for any and all spelling/grammar mistakes. Feedback is encouraged!

—————————————————————

The beach you’re sitting on is stunning. The sun is warm, but not hot, and the water is cool, but not freezing. It’s perfect. You’re in a navy bikini, a pair of sunglasses perched on your nose, and a frozen daiquiri in your right hand. You lean your head back, bathing in the sunshine. It’s absolutely heaven on Earth.

You feel rather than see someone sit down next to you in the sand. You glance over and then you do a double take. It’s... Bradley Cooper? That can’t be right. You sit up a little straighter and look around the empty beach. He’s fully dressed and leaning back on his hands.

“Um, excuse me?” You ask, your voice a little shaky. He languidly turns his head towards you, grinning.

He just raises his eyebrows, silently asking you to continue.

You look around the beach again, looking for where he could’ve come from, but there’s nothing for miles.

You lower your sunglasses a little, looking at him over the brim. “I don’t mean to be rude, but are you lost?” Then it’s his turn to look confused.

“We came to together, Y/N. Don’t you remember? We’re on vacation together.” He sits up and turns his body towards you.

“Y/N? Don’t your remember?”

That can’t be right. You’d certainly remember if you had gone on vacation with Bradley Cooper. Wouldn’t you?

“Don’t you remember, Y/N?” He reaches out, shaking your shoulder.

“Come on, Y/N! You don’t remember, Y/N? Y/N! Wake up, Y/N!” He’s shaking you harder now and his voice is no longer his voice. It’s younger, accented, more familiar. Is that...?

—————————————————————

You jolt up and immediately hit your head on the bunk above you. You groan, face twisting in pain. You rub your forehead, which is now throbbing in pain.

You hear a hiss next to you before soft giggling. You turn and see Luke’s face, grinning, still soft from sleep.

“Sorry, Y/N!” He reaches his hand out, rubbing it over your forehead. “I was trying to wake you up for, like, five minutes. I shouldn’t of shook you so hard. My bad, babe.”

The throbbing starts to subside and you gently push his hand away. “It’s fine, Lu. It’s fine.” You pick up your phone, checking the time, only to see it’s 4:30 in the morning. You’re wide awake now.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay? Did the bus break down?”

He shakes his head, laughing. “Nah, nothin’ like that. It’s just... you have to see this!” He grabs the sleeve of your sweatshirt, tugging slightly. “Come on!”

Rolling your eyes, you pick up your phone, sliding out of your bunk. You’re barely upright before Luke is shoving clothes into your hands. Looking down, you see he’s given you a pair of jeans, a jacket, a pair of wool socks and a beanie.

“What are these for?” You’re so confused. It takes you a solid hour and a half to wake up every morning and, most importantly, copious amounts of coffee. Not to mention you were on a beach with Bradley Cooper not even five minutes ago.

Luke doesn’t answer; he just pushes you backwards gently, towards the room at the back of the bus. “Just put them on, okay? You’re gonna wanna see this.” He gives you a cheeky wink before shutting the door, giving you some privacy.

You roll your eyes, setting the clothes on the couch. You wiggle out of your shorts, folding them roughly, setting them off to the side. You pull on your jeans, zipping and fastening them before pulling the jacket over your shoulders.

As you sit down to pull your socks on, you start to wonder what all the weirdness is about. You’ve been friends with the guys for a little over a year now. They needed an assistant when their old one, Shannon, went on maternity leave and then, when her little boy was born, she decided she wanted to be a full time mom. They were all super supportive, but they were about to head out on a press tour and they needed someone quick.

Someone in their record label recommended you for the job and they offered you the position without even asking to look at your résumé. You really needed to the money after getting fired from your last assisting job. You don’t really count it as being fired since the lady who fired you claimed it was attempted murder. Apparently, she was ‘lactose intolerant’ and you had tried to ‘poison her’ by putting too much creamer in her coffee. Just to be clear, she wasn’t lactose intolerant when she asked you to buy her a venti latte the day before, but hey! You’re just the assistant. What do you know?

So, you accepted the job, which literally started the next day. So you packed a bag and met them at the airport the next morning. That’s where you met four sleepy boys who were in desperate need of structure.

It took you all a couple months to find your footing, but once you did, it was easy. They weren’t spoiled or ignorant or demanding or douches just because they could be. They were nice and funny and smart and they genuinely enjoyed what they were doing. That kind of passion is contagious. You wanted to make their lives easier, in any aspect that you could, so they could focus on channeling that passion into someone great. So you became the best damn assistant you could be. Slowly, you found yourself becoming more invested in their lives.

Cal would complain about missing his dog, so you would google where the nearest animal shelter was and take him on his day off, so he could pet some dogs. They weren’t Duke, but they would do. He would stay there for hours, talking in hushed whispers about how they’d all love his little man. Ash would always be super sore after a show, usually sleeping super late to try and rest up his body. You noticed it really effected his mental state, causing him to be grumpy and withdrawn. So you would make sure he had a massage first thing the next morning after a show; finding that a deep tissue massage really helps the aches and his attitude. Instead of showing up late to soundcheck, he started showing up early, with donuts for the whole crew. He was a new man, a happier man.

Luke was a food guy which was always a tough problem to solve. He would get these odd cravings throughout tour. He’d get a craving for ‘some BBQ he had once in Texas at that place’ and you would struggle to find anything close to Texas BBQ in Italy. You never got exactly what he wanted but you would get close enough to make him happy. He’d sit there, pants unbuttoned, a dazed smile on his face, hand rubbing his stomach. “You look like Shaggy after a really good sandwich,” you’d said once. He just laughed and nodded. “Well, Y/N, it was a pretty damn good sandwich.”

Mike was always the toughest one to understand. He wasn’t cold to you, but he wasn’t exactly vocal about what he wanted or what he needed. Usually deciding to solve his own problems. His girlfriend and his dog were with him most of the time, so that was never an issue. You would kind of just let him do his thing and made sure he knew you were there if he needed anything.

It was one night when you heard him say something about wanting his parents to come to their show in New York, considering it was the night before his birthday, but they had just come out to their show in London a few weeks earlier. He didn’t want them to make do that kind of traveling again. His dad wasn’t really a keen flyer. You knew Mikey was too proud to ask, so you asked his girl for his mom’s number and decided to just ask. If they couldn’t come, no problem, but you don’t know until you ask.

The look on Mike’s face when his parents walked into their soundcheck, with balloons and a cupcake with a lit candle on top, was priceless. He was immediately running over to them, not even bothering to put down his guitar, hugging each of them tightly, exclaiming how happy he was they were there. You just grinned, walking backstage, letting them have their moment.

You didn’t think he’d show up at your hotel room door, a take out container in his hand. He just looked at you for a minute, the silence making your ears ring. He just handed you the container.

“It’s cake. From the restaurant.” You nod, popping it open, only to see the most decadent piece of chocolate cake you’d ever seen.

“Wow. That looks delicious. Thank you, Mike.” You look up at him only to see him looking down at his red sneakers. You tilt your head, sensing he wants to say something.

“I should really be thanking you.” His eyes meet yours and you just give him a soft grin.

“It’s fine, Mike. It’s my job.” You shrug and let your toes drag over the hardwood floor just inside the door.

“That’s the thing though, Y/N. It’s not. It’s not your job.” His voice is loud in the quiet of the hallway, especially at this time of night. “Your job is to make sure we show up at the right places and at the right times or to make sure we’re treated fairly or make sure we eat healthy food once in a while and we don’t murder each other. Nowhere in the contract does it say you have to help us do these little things to make sure we’re content and happy and...appreciated. Listened to.”

He shrugs, an unfocused look on his face. “You’re the greatest assistant we’ve ever had.” You let your eyes drop to the horrible patterned carpet of the hallway, cheeks blushing at the compliment. “And you’re an even better friend.”

Your eyes shoot up to his, surprise written all over your face. He’s got this grin on his face, that’s a little bit smirk-y and a little bit smiley. A smile slowly spreads across your lips and, before you can help yourself, you’re launching yourself at him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tight in a hug. After a beat, you pull away, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. “Thanks. For the cake. Chocolate’s my favorite, so... it’s perfect.”

“Of course, of course.” He starts walking backwards down the hallway toward his room. “See ya in the mornin’, Y/N.”

“Yeah, see ya.” You give him a small wave, leaning against the door frame. “Happy birthday, Mike.” He grins and gives you an exaggerated curtsy. Your laugh fills the hallway.

You’re still deep in your memories when Cal throws open the door. “Yo! Y/N! Let’s go!” He throws a pair of your boots at you. You barely catch them before they hit your face. You give Cal a dark look, silently reprimanding him for tossing you your boots so roughly.

He just gives you a big, cheesy grin before pulling his head out of the door and shutting it. You huff and pull on your boots quickly, not wanting to keep the guys waiting. You stand up, grabbing your beanie before opening the door, and working your way up to the front of the bus where the guys are huddled together.

“So, what’s all this about?” They all turn to you, excitement written on all their faces. You give them all weird looks as you pull your beanie over your bed head.

No one answers you, but Ash walks behind you and covers your eyes with his hands. “What the h-?”

You instinctively try to pull your face away from his hands but he keeps them firm over your eyes. “No, no, no. Keep ‘em covered. Trust us.” Ash’s voice is close to your ear and you try to relax.

Giving up control was never easy for you, but they all seem so excited, you figure you’re gonna at least try. You hold up your hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay.” You take a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

They cheer and clap before Ash is shuffling you forward, little by little. It takes you both a few minutes to make it to the bus door. You hear it slide open and you’re hit was a burst of cold air. You shiver and lean back into Ashton. “Jesus,” You mutter under your breath.

“Okay, Y/N. Mike is right in front of you. Take his hand and he’ll help you down the stairs.” You blindly reach out for Mike’s hand, finding it fast and gripping it tightly.

“You drop me, Michael, and I will drop you.” Your voice nervous, but serious.

He chuckles before picking up your other hand. “I gotcha, love, don’t worry.” You know there’s five steps off the bus, but you still hesitate before taking the first step.

“It’s fine, Y/N,” Ash’s voice is soft in your ear, “You have Luke, Cal and Mike who will catch you if you trip. Promise.”

You take a deep breath before letting your foot drop to the first step, feeling your hands get a little sweaty in Mike’s grip.

You work your way down the rest of the steps as carefully as you can. When your feet hit solid ground, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay, I survived that horror. Now what?”

Suddenly, Ash’s hands are gone and it takes a second for you to pull your eyes open. When you do, you gasp and cover you mouth.

The boys are standing in front of you, hands in their pockets, sleep still in their eyes, and snow is falling all around them.

You look up to the sky, stepping out from under the overhang of the bus, and watch the snowflakes flurry around the sky.

It’s crunching under your boots and you look around at the sudden white powder covering everything.

“It’s beautiful, oh my god.” You keep your voice soft, afraid to disturb the peacefulness of it all. You hold your hands out, palms up, and spin slowly in a circle, watching it fall steadily from the dark sky.

Luke’s voice breaks your reverie. “We remember you saying you’d never see snow in person, so when I woke up to pee and I saw it coming down pretty hard, I had Randy pull over so you could see it.” You look over at the four of them, eyes teary and mouth agape.

“You remember that? I don’t even remember when I told you that.” Cal shrugs, his favorite beanie pull down over his ears, and shoots you a smile. “Of course we remember that.” You feel your face heat up, a sure sign that you’re gonna cry.

It’s not the most beautiful place ever; just the shoulder of some highway, somewhere in middle of...North Carolina? Maybe South Carolina? You don’t know for sure, but with how quiet it is and the snow falling and the four boys standing around you, you could not be happier.

You’d grown up in California your whole life and it wasn’t until you were in college at UCLA that you realized you’d never seen snow. Literally never.

It was late November and you had been talking to your roommate, Lauren, who was from Colorado, talk about the foot of snow they had gotten back home. She said, “Holy shit, that’s the most we’ve ever gotten in November. We usually get something like that closer to Christmas. Can you imagine?” You just shook you head, saying you can’t even imagine an inch of snow. That’s when you realized you’d seemed to have missed on a major part of life.

Even with your job with the band and the multiple countries you’d visit, you’d never seen snow. Granted, the tour had started in late July, so snow hadn’t really been on the forecast up until now, but still.

You’re amazed these four guys, with so much stuff on their plate and how much they have to deal with and think about on a daily basis, remembered this little detail about your life.

You wipe at the tears that have dropped down your face. “That’s really n-nice,” is all you say, voice cracking a little from holding back your tears.

“Aw, Y/N.” It’s like they all say in unison before walking over to you and wrapping their arms around you in a big group hug. That’s what causes you to break your facade and, suddenly, you’re crying into someone’s shoulder. There’s a hand rubbing circles on your back and it’s so utterly comforting. To be surrounded by people who love you entirely. It’s such a wholesome experience.

You pull away and wipe the dampness away from your eyes. You give them a grin and look back up at the sky, the snow still falling fast.

“This is the best thing I have ever seen.” You look back from the sky to meet all their eyes, all bright and happy, grins painting their faces.

“Thank you, guys. Truly. You made my life.” You beam, as Luke reaches forward, brushing snow out of your hair. You laugh, shaking the hair sticking out of the beanie to get rid of the rest of the snow.

Looking back around, you have an idea. You’re eyes are mischievous as you look at each boy. “How much time do we have before we have to leave?” Mike looks a little worried, but he answers, “Randy said no more than a half hour or we won’t get to the hotel in time.”

You nod, hands on your hips. “Okay. I can work with that.” They boys share a nervous look. “Is this... the part where you murder us, Y/N?” Cal asks, taking a slow step backwards, as if to get a head start.

You smirk, walking towards them slowly. They part as you get close, Ash letting out a girlish screech and covering his head. “Please, Y/N! We have so much to live for! Think of the fans!”

And the you’re laughing, loud and happy as you break into a jog towards the field sitting next to the highway.

“Come on, you weirdos. We got maybe ten minutes max to make the best goddamn snow angels. Ever.” You tell, grinning as you turn away from them, trying to find the best spot for your first snow angel.

The four of them exchange glances, smiles slowly finding their lips, before they give shouts of excitement, as they start after you. As you watch them run towards you, laughing and playfully shoving each other, you realize, very suddenly, that you hope you have these four men following behind you for the rest of your life.

[hyunarkarchive]

oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.” 

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile. 

not even 10 minutes later 

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark: 

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops. 

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk​ & @rkwon​ & @rkgwen​ - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark​ & @rksunwoo​ & @rkseokwoo​ - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;;  minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy​ & @rkjohnny​ - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon​ & @rkgray​- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh?  brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose​ & @rkkyungri​ - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!! 

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya​ - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;;  special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho,  thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “The Bubbles-Sitters Club”

Written by: Haley Mancini, Jake Goldman

Written & Storyboarded by: Jaydeep Hasrajani, Leticia Abreu Silva

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Cartoon Network's Not-So-Great Idea.

The episode starts with Bubbles reading a comic strip named Smarmaduke. Get it, like Marmaduke! I'll give them this: a talking, smarmy dog does have a lot more potential than a half of century of "Great Danes are big" jokes.

This leads to Bubbles wanting a dog. Her reasoning? Because her life is so boring without one! Blossom, eating her cereal, reminds her about the whole "saving Townsville" thing they apparently do offscreen in this reboot, but Bubbles finds that boring. Yeah, forget superhero stories, this puppy plot is where it's at!

The Professor explains further that it takes a lot of responsibility to take care of a pet, and Bubbles is not ready for it. Bubbles is shocked at this accusation, and asks the Professor three reasons why she isn't responsible. Cue a montage, complete with some wacky Sesame Street-inspired numbers. Because Bubbles is the childish one!

She left the water on, causing the house to flood! A very quick scene, unlike the other two.

Blossom tells Bubbles to keep an eye on a tied up Gangreen Gang while she goes and gets the cops, because the Puffs can't possibly deal with them themselves, but she ends up getting distracted by a butterfly! This leads to the Gangreen Gang escaping from rope, proving that they are stronger than the Reboot Puffs.

While a pirate goes to the "little captain's room", Bubbles wrecks his ship on an iceberg she was specifically told to avoid! Random!

Blossom finds a classified ad asking for a dog-sitter, no experience necessary. Seeing this as a test, they all agree that if she can pass it, she can have a dog. Bubbles promises the Professor that he can say goodbye to the irresponsible Bubbles he once knew. I got to used to saying goodbye to the Bubbles I once knew.

Bubbles gets her puppy from a strange old lady. This is the second hint that something can't be right, as the old lady just closes the door slowly. The first being, of course, "no experience necessary". Something's rotten in the city of Townsville, but Bubbles doesn't mind at all.

The episode uses Pauly's face as a transition throughout the episode. Very often, they use this transition between two scenes that take place in the same location. This is where you should have a "later" title card.

Blossom and Buttercup come home, Buttercup talking about how she licks ice cream off of bathroom floors, to a completely thrashed house. It turns out, Pauly isn't exactly well trained, and Bubbles isn't that good at training him. He eats up one of Blossom's favorite slippers, starts eating Buttercup's very stretchy hair, and he "makes a mess" behind the couch. That's pretty much a required joke with inexperienced pet owners.

The problem is that Bubbles just refuses to tell him "no", and Blossom tries to teach her.

Blossom: You have to tell him no if you want him to be good!

Bubbles: But he really likes being bad!

I wonder what the twist of the episode is. Suddenly, the dog keeps hitting his head on the couch. Seeing this as the dog having too much energy, Blossom tells Bubbles to take her dog for a walk. When she does, the dog keeps stopping at different stores. He stops at a pie store, but Bubbles tells him dogs don't eat pie. Pauly gives Bubbles those puppy dog eyes, and she allows him to go in. She eventually tells him that she won't buy anything else for him.

One dog transition later, and Bubbles buys absolutely everything for him. Even a treadmill to have him walk while they're walking, which she stops to lampshade. She even outright monologues about not being able to put her foot down. While she's talking to herself, Pauly starts robbing the diamond store she stopped by with a bat. What a twist, Pauly really likes being bad!

I know what some people might be thinking, and I'll answer that this is completely different from the original Cat Man Do. Get this, while that episode was about the Powerpuff Girls adopting an evil cat, this episode is about one of the Powerpuff Girls adopting an evil dog! It's totally different.

Also, this dog isn't an evil genius bent on turning man's best friend into the head of the house. He's just an ordinary robber, who happens to be a dog. Specifically, he reveals himself to be Pug-Faced Pauly, the greatest robber and criminal mastermind in Townsville. How does he reveal this?

By talking, of course. No, this isn't a "The Wild Thornberrys"-like way to show an animal talking to something with the gift of gab, Bubbles, and Buttercup later in the episode, outright says that he can talk. What use is the ability to talk to animals if every important animal seems to have human vocal cords? I wonder how Talking Dog feels about that.

In response, Bubbles does the thing she does best: tell the dog that he's a bad dog while shrinking her face. I didn't feel the need to screenshot it, because you can just look at the other 50 times I had to. She also threatens to take him to jail, without the help of those all important cops. The dog tells her that they put "bracelets" on her too for technically being his accomplice.

Oh, and he also says that Bubbles will never own a dog. Guess which one Bubbles is more worried about.

Not willing to lose her dog, Bubbles agrees to a new life of crime. We learn this from a bunch of alliterative headlines from the Town Enquirer. I guess Townsville doesn't think too highly of itself to put its name on the newspaper. Another difference from Cat Man Do: Hypnosis is not involved; Bubbles is just easy to force into these kinds of plots.

Blossom and Buttercup see Bubbles' head, covered with a mask, in the paper. Of course, Buttercup has to think about who it is for a while, because this show has to avert our expectations by making Buttercup the silly one in this episode. Blossom figures it out immediately, and they just somehow know where she is.

Before they get there, the dog is robbing another store. Bubbles is ordered to get the getaway car, which she brings by literally carrying it on her back. This plays both to the fact that she can’t drive and how she’s a superhero that can lift heavy things. Finally, another measure of her strength. A far less impressive one than the building full of people, but a little closer to her apparent strength in the rest of the reboot.

The rest of the Powerpuff Girls show up to stop Bubbles from obeying her dog. Buttercup tells him she's ready to knock off a few of his nine lives. Blossom tells Buttercup that's cats, not dogs. It's funny because Buttercup is the pinhead of the episode! Also, wanna guess how she says it?

Buttercup: KNOCK OFF A FEW OF YOUR NINE LIVES!

It's also "funny" because it's off-model and badly animated! That's still a gag they're going to return to. I was hoping it wasn't, but here you go. Pauly blows a dog whistle, and a bunch of dogs show up. Even that strange old lady shows up, and she reveals herself to be...a dog with a duck's body! There's good twists, and there's twists that are completely random. It never really goes anywhere, and it's not even worth a screenshot.

I was expecting some sort of copout on this. The Powerpuff Girls, with their car-lifting strength, should have no problem with these dogs. Even with the Reboot Puffs, while they get beaten up by giant monsters or powerful robots, these are just ordinary dogs with human vocal cords and sense of style. But, they can’t possibly show a bunch of dogs getting beaten up, right?

Surprisingly, that’s what happens. Blossom and Buttercup fight a bunch of dogs in the same way they punched bank robbers. They tie into the dog theme by covering up most of the impact with hit flashes with dog puns in them. Fitting!

Bubbles is still conflicted, though, because she can't possibly disobey Pauly. While Blossom and Buttercup is fighting the dogs, they tell her to join in, while Pauly tells her to keep on doing crime. Eventually, the bickering causes Bubbles to snap, and she throws the getaway car at the dog. Wow, that's kind of harsh. He was an evil pug, but still.

Nah, I'm kidding. Bubbles turns him in, Pauly only slightly bruised. She even gets all the credit, and doesn't have to go to jail despite being his accomplice, despite what Pauly threatened earlier. I would say Townsville realized having one of the reasons why their city isn’t a crater in the ground in "sing-sing" isn’t a good idea, but anyone other than Buttercup is kind of expendable in this reboot.

With the help of the Professor, who only appears in the beginning and end of the episode to tell the kids the moral, Bubbles learns that you have to be responsible for your pets, especially if they turn out to be criminals. She even reveals she got a new pet, who happens to be Reboot Jojo dressed like a cat! Is it Reboot Jojo in disguise doing a villainous plot, or is this another “Make Reboot Jojo the weakest villain” joke? It's the latter. Trust me.

Does the title fit?

Bubbles is a dog-sitter. While it's another "replace a word with a character's name" title, It's a little better because Bubbles and Baby both start with a B and have two syllables. That's how low the standards have to be with PPG 2016 titles.

How does it stack up?

I was worried this was going to be another “oh, Bubbles is so silly” episode, but it turned out to be just a boring evil animal episode. Sure, I do like that the Powerpuff Girls actually fight, but that’s like praising a dog for not peeing on the sofa. Sure, it’s pleasant, especially if said dog tends to pee on the sofa, but I should expect better.

The keyword, of course, being "should". After watching so much of this reboot, I fear that my mind is getting numbed. Not among the worst, not among the best. Closer to the worst, but not that close. I really need to higher my standards.

Next, Buttercup fights an evil adversary. Oh no, not Reboot Jojo, not Silico...it's math. Honestly, I think spelling should be PPG 2016′s mortal enemy. They've been a little better with that in Season 2, but not by much.

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