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madmaru2010 · 8 months ago

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Baby Dyke*

How old was she? I don't remember exactly, I only know that I was no older than 10 or 11 years old.

Across the street from my childhood home was a valuable piece of municipal land. Those stretches of land in towns that are like the jokers or the Hogwarts Room of Requirement, a place that becomes whatever you want it to be. A paddock, the setting for learning to ride a bicycle, and from time to time, the temporary home of a traveling circus or amusement park.

I remember, when circuses allowed animals, listening from my bed to the roar of famelic lions that were more sad than scary, or the gray streaks of a rickety elephant. What happened to those critters! The advent of Green Peace and similar organizations, as well as the discovery of ecology, put an end to circuses with Bengal tigers and acrobatic horses. Also with zoos, although don't ask me why I wanted to visit them, the circuses and the zoos. I was fascinated and saddened at the same time to see all those wonderful species, different, magnificent in their eccentricity locked up and condemned to perish.

I don't know why but now I associate that at the same time that the defense of the environment and the species in extinction was taking place in society, coincidentally, homosexuality was no longer considered a disease.

On May 17, 1990, the WHO removed homosexuality from the International Classification of Diseases (ICD), specialists highlighted the widespread consensus that homosexuality is a natural variation of human sexuality and cannot be considered a pathological condition.

Green Peace was born in 1971, when a group of Canadian anti-nuclear activists embarked on board the old fishing boat Phyllis Cormack to protest against the nuclear tests that the United States was carrying out in the Amchitka archipelago, in Alaska. Their goal: to prevent the bomb from being detonated by placing themselves in the center of the test site.

In the summers of 1978 and 1980 the first Rainbow Warrior ship had confronted the whaling fleet still in Spain, trying to prevent their catch.

It always struck me that his ship was named after the same rainbow that represents LGBT rights. And that he was the warrior who defended the most valuable species from the clutches of their predators.

But the memory that this text brings back to me is that of an amusement park that was installed on that property in front of my parents' house when I was still an elementary school student.

I remember the garlands of lights, the creepy music that could be heard every night, a ghost train whose structure, riddled with holes, let so much light into the interior that it was more frightening than frightening, or even scary.

The star of that park that remained in my memory was a huge round-the-world ride. Or at least I remember it as huge. Surely it was a precarious installation, with countless missing or wobbly pieces, with more than one loose screw, a screaming call to the tragedy that we kids from a city with a small-town personality climbed on every summer.

To better understand this anecdote, I suffer from severe vertigo, that is, I get dizzy just getting on the curb. But my best friend, a red-haired girl whose skin was an infinite constellation of freckles, invited me to take the ride around the world and I followed her in rapt attention.

I remember every moment, the two of us sitting on that wobbly stool, holding on to a crossed pipe that acted as a very unconvincing safety bar. I remember getting to the top and staying there, stopped, stranded, shipwrecked. I don't know if it was because of a malfunction or because they were slow in getting people up or down, but I still feel like I'm there.

Vertigo is a kind of painful nausea that strangles your stomach, blurs your vision and your limbs feel like rubber. It's really feeling like you're falling. Any resemblance to falling in love is on the reader.

Up there, in the rocking cart, watching the languid white church tower stand proudly against the blue sky and the evening sun melting into a ruby gold pool on the horizon, vertigo mixed with the happiness of being on top of the world, far away from everything, in that layer of invisibility that height gives, trapped with that red-haired girl who happily laughed at the park, at the experience, and at my vertigo that today more than fear of heights seems like fear of realizing how much I enjoyed that closeness out of sight of everyone, that moment of intimacy with a friend who gave me butterflies in my belly and I didn't know it.

When I think about my approach to women throughout my history nausea was always present. But it's not disgust, I realize today, it's vertigo, it's knowing you're walking through a narrow gap between a land you don't want to belong to and the precipice. That feeling of wanting and fearing to take a leap into that void that is as desirable as it is threatening. It is the irrepressible desire to launch yourself into free fall that beats in every cell. It is knowing that sooner or later you are going to jump.

Vertigo is not the fear of falling, but the desire to jump.” -Milan Kundera

Note: *This word is used in slang to refer in pejorative terms to lesbians or lesbianism in general, especially lesbians with appearance or clothing considered far from the cultural canons of femininity. In this sense, we are in line with other derogatory terms such as “machorra”, “camiona”, “marimacho/a”, “chicazo”, “amachada”, “virago”, “chongo” or “butch”. In recent times, however, the lesbian women's collective itself has made this word its own, reappropriating it to use it in a positive sense. Baby dyke: young lesbian or recently out of the closet. It is also used, within the LGBT community, to refer to lesbians who want to be “butch” but do not succeed.

#·lesbianvisibility #·lesbian #lgbtqi #lgbt #lgb #wri #writing #female writers #writerscommunity

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whump-town · 4 years ago

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Just As Clueless As You

Warnings: cigarettes, underage drinking, past child abuse (for you already know who), and the angst and pain that will come with time

Summary: Emily Prentiss stumbles upon a boy outside of the library one morning and does him a harmless favor. A few months later a poor seating choice makes him her class partner. The rest... she has no idea.

Word Count: 3,057

It's Not Hotchniss-- you'll just have to take my word on that for now

Freshman Year August 1989-April 1990 Semester One: August- December

“Reciprocity”

Waking up on a real mattress is the first dead giveaway that the bed she wakes up in is not her own. Anyone unfortunate to fall for the absolute scheme that is getting a college education knows the back-breaking lumps that are the “mattresses'' supplied to each dorm room on unGodly squealing cheap bed frames that give a shout with each movement. But she’s laying on a real mattress… with no bed frame. She’s really just laying on a mattress laid out right on the floor. For a moment, looking up at a ceiling with water damage and cobwebs she criticizes some of the life choices that she has made getting here. If it were up to her, Emily Prentiss wouldn’t have come to college at all. She isn’t the kind of girl worth wasting that sort of energy on, not when she’s pretty enough to get by on looks and has her mother’s career to fall back on. Her hobbies lie in illegal affairs-- smoking pot and getting drunk. It makes her incredibly social but she’s not book-smart. School just isn’t her thing. (Which is entirely untrue but sometimes self-image distorts lies too near fact hood). Propping herself up on one arm she gathers the sheets up in a bunch in her hand, covering her naked chest from any of the occupants of the room. To call it a room might be a stretch, there’s hardly any room for the mattress on the floor and the desk by her left. She’s also alone she realizes by scanning the room and catching sight of the alarm clock on the floor she understands why. It’s nearly nine-thirty in the morning-- everyone within a ten-mile radius of her is probably in class right now. Well, if you absolve the students like her: campus’s soon to be drop-outs. With a groan she tosses the sheets off of herself, shifting around the room until she can find her clothes and get out of this disgusting house. Without the protection of the sheets, goosebumps break out across her skin. Her naked body shivering against it as she stretches out, raising her arms above her head and heaving a deep yawn. There’s a sticky note waiting for her, informing her that there isn’t any food around but feel free to grab herself some coffee downstairs. She won’t be doing that but at least whoever the guy is he isn’t her typical sleazeball sort. They typically have her walking back home in the dark as soon as they’re done having their fun.

Her clothes have been neatly folded at the end of the bed, even her underwear which is really a surprise. Folding herself back into them, she grimaces at the distinctly dirty feel that they have. The thick scent of booze and cigarette smoke clinging to them doesn’t help. With no hair tie in sight, she knows better than to waste her time looking, she pushes her bangs back with her hands settling on using a pencil she finds on the floor to twist it up and hold it in place. As she’s sliding the pencil against her scalp, securing her hair she spots a joint discarded by the edge of the mattress. She doesn’t waste the energy in contemplating stealing it, just slots it into her back pocket. That will be fun for later, her pregame for the party tonight. A fun little treat for last night. She even finds a Zippo which gets placed in her joint’s neighboring pocket. A real nice treat, indeed. It takes her a moment to get out of the house, the very last thing that she wants is to be seen by any of the other occupants. For the most part, the coast is clear. She thinks she might hear someone downstairs puking but from the stairs to the main door she’s in the clear. There’s no one in sight. With a glance over her shoulder she grabs a round, amber-filled glass she spots sitting turned over on its side by the couch. Giggling as she tucks it under her arm and makes a run for it. The chill of the October morning shakes her thin bones with its just present enough touch ghosting over her bare legs and arms. The weather rarely permits such exposing clothing anymore but the Crown Royal tucked under her arm will warm her right back up, she just needs to make it to the dorms. No sense in wasting good whiskey on a little shivering, not when she has a comforter to crawl into and a hangover to nurse with something cheap and clear. The first time that Emily Prentiss meets Aaron Hotchner he’s fighting the lighter cupped in his hand, standing with his back to the light breeze. He’s shaking from a chill despite it being nearly seventy degrees out and sunny, gripping under his breath and bobbing the unlit cigarette between his teeth as he does so. The large sweater he wears over his boney shoulders does well to hide his thin body but can not save onlookers from the haunted bags under his eyes. They’re the first thing that she notices as she steps up to him. Without a word she flips the lid of her Zippo open, lighting it with an easy flick and holding the flame out for him. He glances at her-- all bloodshot, sleepless brown eyes-- and leans in, fingers trembling as he cups his palms around the Zippo for a protective barrier. Until the end of the cigarette burns bright red and he pulls in a breath, stepping back to get a good shuddering inhale before he pulls off and offers around a plume of smoke, “thanks.” His voice is rasped from the smoke he’s just inhaled but pinched from disuse and he can’t honestly remember the last person he actually talked to. She shrugs, it’s no sweat off her back. This isn’t even her Zipp, well it is now but she didn’t buy it and no one bought it for her. As a semi-excuse for some of her riskier behavior, she made a vow to herself to never let a man put his hands down her pants without her getting something out of it too. Since it’s rarely an orgasm she’s the proud owner of many men’s oversized articles of clothing, small knick-knacks from nightstands, this Zippo, and the joints they leave unattended. It’s just simple reciprocity. “Cigarette?” he offers, holding the box out to her. She lingers just long enough that he assumes she’s a smoker, doing that sort of awkward shuffle that fellow smokers take on before they ask to “bum a smoke”. The same one he does when he runs short at the end of the month and is pretending to have the forethought to consider putting his money to food and not cigarettes. But she shakes her head, tucking her Zippo back into her pocket and walking away. He’d consider it weird if he didn’t know he’d do the same thing. He hasn’t got the time to be messing with skimpily dressed girls, especially

the sort that looks the kind of trouble that she is. He’s here on a pretentious scholarship. The sort that doesn’t blink twice before dismissing students from their program for poor grades and he might have gotten himself here but he is no one’s definition of a genius. He’s going to smoke this cigarette and bask in the sun for as long as he can before going back into the looming walls of the library and to work on an article reflection for his Sociology class. Which he already knows he will get a 92% on because they’re facing the ass end of November and he’s gotten a single hundred on the twenty or so of these reviews he’s written and all the rest the same score of 92. It’s nothing to complain about, that’s a nice score to be sat at, but it irks him just a little to be planted so firmly like that. Unlike Emily Prentiss, his parents could not offer him any real edge or flourish to get him into this college. His father was a lawyer and while he did make great money it was only in the context of the small town they lived in, an impoverished and drug-hungry place. There Aaron was an oddity in every way that a teenager could be-- coming from a household with two college-educated parents, severely underweight from abuse that went entirely unchecked, finding reprieve in the books he could bury himself in, and discovering his best coping mechanism in either the dissociative flick of pages and weight of a book in his hands or chain-smoking. Though he’d never had enough to say to be good at the social aspects smoking can offer. He’s gotten good at standing at the backs of buildings and smoking alone. The stinger, the worst part is that his father has managed to isolate him. Even in death that man never lets him win. According to the will that he left behind his mother can’t give him a dime of the money, nothing to help with tuition or food or to pay for a dorm. If she breaks the terms of his will then she can’t get his pension until Sean’s of age to make decisions about the money. Aaron’s fairly certain that there is nothing legal about that but the will is headed by one of his father’s assistants and everyone in that office was as loyal as dogs to him. Aaron is nothing to them and his mother has never risked anything for him, he knows she won’t start now. Emily is in every way that can be observed by others his opposite. “Knock, knock.” One of the girls from Emily’s floor sticks her head in Emily’s room, flicking on the light to the room without a second thought to the woman buried under the sheets. “Girly,” she says with a shake of her head. “When was the last time you went to class?” She might not be Emily’s closest friend on the floor but she knows she hasn’t seen Emily out of this room for anything more than liquor and parties. Which is none of her business but how can she even hope to do anything without at least doing assignments? They’ll kick her out. Emily groans from under the safe haven of her bedsheets, picking up her head to squint and see who is bothering her. “What do you want?” she asks. “Food. I was going to go to the dining hall, I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with me.” Emily shakes her head, digging her fingers into the tender flesh of her temples as the light makes her head throb and her stomach queasy. She’s hungover and right now she needs to sleep before she self-medicates with the shitty vodka under her pillow and heads to the party they’re having downtown. It’s not a frat party but it’s something and she knows the guy who lives next door. With a groan, she falls back onto her stiff mattress. “I’m good,” she answers. “Catch you another time?” The other girl lingers for just a moment, watching Emily snuggle back into the sheets and she shakes her head. She’s ruining her life. It’s one thing to not place any importance on college, to be the sort of person that just doesn’t see the flourish or point in it. Life is full of balance, not everyone should want to go to college but people like Emily need the balance. People like her need to scrape by and fall flat on their faces-- they need

ups and downs and overwhelming projects to get some sense of what life is actually like. They need a wake-up call and Emily is wasting hers. She’s not strong enough to face the world just yet but if she keeps fucking around like this, nothing her mother does can save her. No money in the world can teach a hard lesson like this one. The night before the meeting she has scheduled with the Dean, the sort that only comes with lots of money and the kind of threats that come from high, scary places, Emily goes out like she always does. Doing exactly as she’d planned: waking up at seven o’clock to shower and apply lipstick that some dumb boy will likely lick and smear off. Placing her bare feet on her cold tiled floor she groans, not even blinking before reaching into her dresser and pulling out Smirnoff she keeps buried under her bras. It stings going down but if she’s patient it’ll dull the splitting ache trying to pry the lobes of her brain open. Burning fingers digging themselves into the soft tissue of her brain. Tonight will end just the last and the one before that. She’ll find a hungry man-- sometimes they look like they’re not waiting for an invite and others that she knows she’s just corrupting-- and let him use her body in exchange for all the liquor she can get down her throat before they can undo her jeans. Wake up, again, in a bed that is not her own and when she’s walking home she’ll find that tall, tree-like kid standing by the back of the library but this time his cigarette will be lit. The expression across his face nearly zin, despite the tears drying against his cheeks. His chin turned up to the sun. She’ll lower her gaze and keep walking. She’s late for her meeting with the Dean. “Miss Prentiss--” Emily recoils, averting her gaze to the old, shitty carpet of the Dean’s office. She hates being called by her last name, hates being something her mother can own. That’s all she’s ever been her entire life, some little flyer for her mother to tac up on her board of accomplishments. An award to float around because motherhood can be commendable if you weaponize it enough. “Emily,” the Dean corrects with a sigh. “You’re on probation, do you understand?” His fingers are steepled on his desk, giving her that look a thousand men before him have given her. She doesn’t even have to look up to know his eyes wander to her breast far too many times to be considered an accident. “I don’t think I have to tell you that this has nothing to do with the school’s faith in your abilities.” Her chest flushes, she can feel the skin heat up under the tone of his voice. Her mother got her into this school, nothing about her grades or her charm. Nothing about Emily is worth anything just the Prentiss she can’t seem to get rid of. “If your grades don’t improve, if you can’t meet the school’s requirements by the end of next semester you will fail out.” He has the most unfortunate voice, so annoying. “Do you understand?” Oh, yeah and he’s a patronizing bastard. She hates it when adults do that shit. Always mocking. Is it not enough they get to listen to themselves go on these long-winded tangents about honor or faith or self-image but to tac that belittling question at the end. To force you to meet their gaze and mumble that you do. All for what? So he can see what her breasts look like when she extends her right hand to shake his? To see if they move when she stands? Fuck him. “Yes, sir,” she says with a nod. “I understand.” She doesn’t shake his hand. Walking out of his office she keeps her head high, refusing to let her emotion show on her face. The heartbreak she feels splitting her chest open. Before she knows it, she’s walking towards the library. She’s never even been inside but she thinks about that boy and the face he’d made this morning. How relaxed he’d looked and she needs that. Needs whatever he found there. To let go of this feeling eating her alive, the sadness she’d told herself she wouldn’t feel when she walked into that office and found that her mother hadn’t even bothered to come. Hadn’t cared to even ask

if Emily was okay. If her behavior was the product of something else. She sinks down against the wall, bringing her knees to her chest, and lets her forehead fall down against them. How could she be so silly? So foolish? Of course, her mother wouldn’t show up to a meeting with the Dean. God, she’s so fucking gullible. So stupid. All she can do is choke on sobs, pulling in shuddering breaths and trying to stifle the sounds she makes. She just wants to burn alive with the anger she feels. To set fire to something and see the destruction. Ruin something. Somewhere between half-expecting the door beside her to fly open and that mess of a boy whose cigarette she’d lit to come out she realizes that she can smell the smoke lingering in the air. He’s had his smoke break and won’t be out anytime soon. For some reason that makes her cry even harder, that she can’t even find comfort in some stranger. But she could just walk into the library and find him, it wouldn’t be that hard. He wears the same thing every time she sees him-- an oversized earth-tone sweater and old jeans. And, as she’s thinking about dragging her sorry ass up and into that library she realizes something. She has the control to go into that building and find the guy. She has the control every night when she goes out to party, to get lost in some boy’s half-assed touches, and cheap liquor. Emily has all of the control. Her mother gave her a second chance, she knows it was purely for the high that old bitch will get when Emily fails out. When Emily finally proves that she’s not good for anything. But she has the control, not her mother. Wiping the tears on her face she pulls in a deep breath and knows. She knows what she’s going to do next. She is going to ruin something. Her mother isn’t right about her. Emily Prentiss turns her face to the sun and she knows exactly what the cigarette boy felt this morning. Release.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #college hotchniss #hotchniss #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #college au

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siberianoverture · 4 years ago

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Don’t You Know - 3

A/N: Hi! I realized I should probably specify when the fic happens, sorry! It all happens a year after Endgame, 2024. I spared Tony, I like the theory that if everyone on the battlefield touched each other the energy would be dispersed, Steve returns the stones and comes back because Peggy Carter moved on, and Natasha comes back. Hope my forgetfulness didn’t cause too much confusion. English is not my first language and although I am pretty confident in it I know I make some mistakes. If you happen to find them please let me know! If you want to be added to taglist let me know! Enjoy!

previous: CHAPTER 2

When Sam came into his friend's room to propose a trip to the city for lunch, he found him standing in the middle of the floor staring at the wall above his desk.

"Buc-" he stops when he follows Bucky's gaze, "what's all this?"

There are two pages ripped from a notepad taped there, both with big black letters in Bucky's neat handwriting. First read 'a girl', second 'forgetting'.

Bucky doesn't look at him, clearly deep in thought, so Sam steps in front of him forcing the super soldier to look at him. Bucky lowers his eyes and steps back until he is sitting on his bed.

"What's going on?" Sam asks again turning slightly to take another look at the wall.

"I can't remember her," Bucky says still looking at his shoes, "there's a girl that worked with Winter Soldier, but I don't remember."

"Maybe it was one mission only so there's nothing to remember," Sam tries but Bucky shakes his head.

"I would remember, I remember everything he saw. There is a person-shaped hole in my memories. Like someone took an eraser and wiped her away."

"I thought they took down all Hydra barriers," Sam begins and Bucky looks up at him, "Oh, you don't think it was done by Hydra. Like a superpower?” Bucky nods, “How do you know it's a girl anyway?"

"Natasha, she said there was a rumor of a girl working with Soldier. She thinks it's her, but I don't think so. Nobody would've called her that, everyone would just say Black Widow. Also, it became quite known we had missions together. It just doesn't add up but if anyone knew it would be her, so I don't really know where to look," Bucky explains starting to ramble a bit so Sam sits down next to him and places a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Hey, calm down. We'll figure it out."

A month passed and they had found nothing.

Bucky had a new routine now: run, breakfast, look for something, lunch, look for something, dinner, look for something until he passed out, rarely in his bed, usually on the floor next to it. This changed only on mission days, if there is a slight chance that he could find something more about her, he goes. The team doesn't ask.

He hadn't told anyone what he was doing, trying to protect himself from everyone's pity, it was Hydra after all. He knew that she might be dead already. It did not stop him, the weird dreams and memories he couldn't catch fueling him. Also, for some reason, he did not want Steve knowing.

Sam is with him whenever he can, sometimes reading some files but usually just keeping him company. With Bucky running after ghosts and assumptions there was little he could help with besides standing next to his friend when mission reports bring back dark memories.

"Sam Wilson came back from his mission and is heading to your room, Sergeant," Friday informed tearing him away from reading through old files for what felt like the hundredth time. Sure enough, Sam was soon walking through his door, still in his suit with an old looking manila folder and throwing it to Bucky.

First, there was a list of Inhumans with their photos and their abilities. At the top there was a boy, no older than fifteen, and there was one word in the abilities column: FORGETTABLE. Bucky looked back at Sam.

"I know it's a boy but, remember, there was a series of experiments where they tried to transfer powers," Sam turned the pages, " there was one page missing and here it is. There was one success, and it was a girl." Sam points to the bottom of the page. FEMALE, 737079, 18, SUCCESS. He flips a few more pages. "She survived because they gave her the serum."

"That's impossible," Bucky shakes his head, "There were five bags, they made five Soldiers."

"True, but all of them were different. They had to adjust the dosage or they would kill them. Maybe they had a bit left and used it on her. It wouldn’t be enough to make a new soldier, but to strengthen her enough to survive however they transferred the powers to her."

"If she was forgettable she would be the best spy Hydra had. That is why she's not in any reports, she would do her job, report to whoever, and everybody involved would forget she was even there," Bucky is overwhelmed. He walks to the window and looks out, "If we worked together I have to look through missions that had more than one objective. Killing for me, information for her. She could be still there."

"Yeah," Sam sighs, "Too bad we don't have a photo."

Somehow Bucky is sure he would recognize her.

He starts looking immediately and he finds quite a few matching his criteria. Next day something pushes him to look through recordings from 2014, his last moments as Winter Soldier and everything plays like he remembered, until, late in the evening, he switches to a view from CCTV near the highway with a clear view of him looking for Natasha, her shooting him, him ducking and then when he and men beside him stand up, there's one more person he doesn't remember being there. It's a woman, in suit that almost exactly matches his, only differce is both her arms being covered. She’s head shorter than him, with hair pulled away from her face. He says something to her, she nods and runs away, and he jumps down the bridge.

He stands up from his computer and stretches. Then he calls for Sam and shows him the video.

"At least she doesn't seem to have any metal limbs," he tries to joke but neither laugh, "If she looks like you does it mean she comes with a handy little manual too?"

"Yeah, she might. We should check the place you got the folder from out again."

They walk out arm in arm and head to the hangar. It's dark outside but Sam knows Bucky won't be able to wait for the morning to come.

When they land near the base, system informs them of a car heading in their direction. Obviously Hydra as the base lays in the middle of nowhere.

"I have a strange feeling they are after the same thing we are," Sam mutters turning on the Quinjet's cloaking.

"It means we're in the right place," Bucky answers and leaves the plane.

"Do you know where to go?"

Bucky doesn't answer and enters the base leaving his friend no choice but to follow. He moves with confidence that makes Sam realize he had already been there at some point in his life. They find the elevator and Bucky presses 737079 into the keyboard and it moves.

"It's the number next to-" Sam begins but he's interrupted.

"It translates to 'spy' from hexadecimal."

The door opens to a room with the same machinery Sam saw in Winter Soldier's files. His eyes follow Bucky noticing how tense his friend is when he marches to one of the cabinets with the last century looking hand scanner on its side.

Bucky glances over his shoulder at Sam, his eyes filled with sadness, anger, and a bit of fear. Then he places his hand at the scanner. It shines green and the cabinet opens with a hiss. Inside is a folder, bound in black leather with a red star on it. Inverted image of a book that controlled The Soldier. Bucky feels sick.

Sam grabs the book and drags him back to the elevator, pushing the button for the ground floor and he can't help but ask.

"How did you know?"

"I just did," Bucky rests his forehead on a cold wall and tries to calm himself, "It's like muscle memory."

They run back to Quinjet and see Hydra soldiers entering the base when they fly back home.

It is nearly midnight when they land and walk back to Bucky's room. He sits down on his bed, a manual folder in his hand and Sam leans on the desk with his arms crossed. They share a look and Bucky finally starts reading.

"There's no name, just the number again. Born in 1973, obtained in 1990. She was seventeen," he looks up at Sam but can't read his expression, "Trained in espionage, injected with serum in 1991. Makes it possible to take powers from injected Inhuman's blood serum. One injection lasts two hours, max three types can be mixed, max five of each. There are words to put in Soldier mode-" Sam interrupts him.

"Same as yours?"

"No," he reads them with an uneasy feeling, "Seek, bullet, lucid, seven, reflect, set, moon, ten, acid, tenet.” “They are in English,” Sam notices.

“Someone else worked on her programming. All other soldiers were programmed in Russian, native language of person doing the conditioning," He needs to really control himself not to punch anything when he reads next few sentences, "After depletion subject experiences psychosis and should be confined posing threat to itself and others. It is advised to put the subject immediately after calming in cryo-chamber. It is no longer in Winter Soldier mode. It is advised to wipe before mission opposed to after."

His vision goes dark when he glances at the next point and he has to put the folder away. Deep down he expected what he saw but this doesn’t lessen the pain that comes with it. He stumbles into the bathroom and splashes his face with ice-cold water. Sam follows and when Bucky turns off the sink sits him on the edge of the bathtub.

"What does it say?" He asks after Bucky's breathing calms.

"I was her handler."

next: CHAPTER 4

#Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #reader insert #Don'tYouKnow

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ryttu3k · 4 years ago

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Finishing up SoNY, ‘bad’ end and final thoughts!

But first, the early game over.

Wow, she just gets shot. Not even slurped? That’s rude as hell XD;;

And on to the ‘bad’ end!

Beginning is much the same, ofc.

“You’re too in love with weaving a good story and establishing a seductive narrative to let facts get in the way.” Foreshadowing for the ‘good’ end, maybe?

God that Embrace scene gives me literal goosebumps.

Alright! Last time I did Danse Macabre and Retributive Justice, let’s try The Risks of Swiping Right!

lmao god I’d eat this guy too. Back to the ghost club! That legitimately is a really neat scene. ...Ooh yes so that’s where the girl was from.

Panhard just lowkey dying at the mental image of Katherine Weise in a fast food restaurant is so good.

The sweet scene between Julia and Dakota hits a bit different after the ‘good’ end XD;;

Went to the park, reminisced, and helped out the guy. That was sweet ;_; High-humanity Julia, this time!

‘Fairy God Mother?’ is great but ‘Vin Diesel?’ is objectively the funnier response.

“Shining even more brightly than usual, Aisling.” Samira got a cru-ush~

Poor Julie. It’s probably been tough without Sophie around :(

Huh. Interestingly, refusing to lie to Mia results in Julia actually feeling genuine loyalty to the Cammies (for now, at least).

Believing Agathon is still alive = more optimistic = different dialogue! See, this is how you make choices have consequences, game!

Oooh boy time to meet Adelaide XD;;

“She uncrosses her legs in a strangely seductive motion. In her mind’s eye, it probably looked like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but in reality, it had all the grace of a tracksuit Slav squatting.” *snickering*

Fight me, Adelaide >:(

‘sup Nastya. Went with the slightly less disruptive routine here XD Huh, she’s an aspiring DJ! Julia is deeply confused as to how being a DJ and being head of security works together.

lmao Julia referring to Hope as a girlboss. That phrase has lost all meaning to me...

The conversation between Julia and Father Leonard is still really interesting. Man, you know who I want Julia to talk to? Anatole. Interesting insights into balancing being queer Catholic vampires there for sure.

lmao oh my god I want to fight this street reporter.

‘I can almost feel my brain losing its wrinkles.’ *snort*

Yeaghhhh the Abyss bit is still so creepy...

Oops. Being honest regarding Tamika and Torque’s relationships gets a fail :(

Oh, or not XD That works! Also, uh, apparently the giant albino ghoul alligator is real, according to New York by Night. He’s Calebros’ pet.

“Because I think I have a pretty good nose for people’s auras. And when I take a good look at you... ...somehow, I have a feeling you’re a surprisingly decent person. Whatever way of unlife you choose, I hope you don’t change it. And that you remember my advice.” :)

“I know.” Oof.

“Hi.” “WAAAH!” lmao sorry Princess XD;; Just trying to imagine Qadir’s face as he tells Julia to find a 1990 glass statue of Scrooge McDuck... dying...

Oh she’s so a Toreador XD Low art options are a fantasy book, an anime DVD, or a video game... those can all be arty, though! And went with the anime DVD called ‘Ririsu no Daibouken’... that translates to ‘Adventures of Lilith’. How on the nose XD “The cover says ‘Lilith’s Carnal Carnival’.” Oh. Yeah, that’d do it XD

“This 90s original video anime presents us with a tale of five big-bosomed samurai warriors travelling through America in search of General Hastavista, The Incubus King. Don’t let all the titillation misguide you: the main draws here are peerless direction, a nearly avant-garde editing rhythm and dialogue that coyly comments on traditional gender roles in anime. Once you see the animation in the final battle, you’ll understand why it never fails to set a sakuga fan’s heart ablaze!”

She’s my new favourite.

“So can I know your name now?”

“Hmmm... Let me think...

No. <3″

I need to stress that the heart appears in the dialogue box. Like. The actual less-than-three heart.

Didn’t investigate the rat this time, so Qadir did and I die. “Glad you’re alright, little guy.” Qadir...

Still not over the drunk blood doll rats.

Kaiser’s still a goddamn creep and this time Julia is not going too far. She still has her humanity, dammit. Final set of traits:

Loyal to the end

Glass half-full

Not into a bad cop schtick

Honesty is the best policy

No more human, still humane

Onwards to the ‘bad’ end! Oops, and Dakota still did the Single White Female thing XD;;

Man I’m still really curious who the ‘good friend’ is!!

Okay! Time for end game!!

So that’s the good friend, huh? “Let me phrase it differently, then. You’re not Ecaterina the Wise, the Agitator of Prague, a Brujah elder causing turbulences all over the world... are you?”

Mention of Christof! Mention of Christof doing shady shit :| Poor Hana.

“An immigrant from Eastern Europe comes to New York City, takes the position she always expected to find herself in, is molded into someone who is no longer herself.”

Julia and Dakota representing Carthage is kind of neat.

I want to say the mention of St Jude is a reference, but I’m not sure what to XD;; Is that from Redemption? Christof could have been the one to tell Hana that.

“Like a two-person human centipede loop or something. An Ouroburos? Or an, uhh, Mobius strip?” No, that’s the other traditionally Sabbat clan XD

That‘s. That’s a hell of a reconciliation XD “Yeah, let’s give it a try. By the way I’m on the run for my unlife, want to go to California and try to find utopia?”

Julia, wear a fucking mask XD

“Hey.”

“Yeah?“

“Do you love me?”

“... Of course I do. For now, at least.”

I still don’t know if I love her. Or even if I can love anyone, for that matter. I’m a fucking monster, after all. I don’t even know if we’ll exist next month. The prospects are not looking good. But although I can’t see myself in the rearview mirror right now...

...I will remember this image of us leaving the city, somewhat melancholic, and somewhat hopeful, forever. And maybe the meaning of this image will be clarified with time. Or maybe I will just force a more positive description on it, and that is what I’ll believe.

No matter what happens... even if oceans of blood lie before us, I will make this a cherished memory.

Whatever possible salvation still remains for me... ...it probably lies in the eyes of another.

Oh dang I have chills.

So the ‘bad’ ending is about the subverted compromise. Julia resigns herself to letting the compromise about the truth of Callihan’s death go ahead. ‘Catherine’ is a walking compromise to hide the Ecaterina’s real deeds. But while Hana is still stuck in her role for now, Julia refuses to accept the compromise she’s made, both the one relating to the investigation and the compromise she made of her own views and morals. It might blow up in her face, yeah. But damn, she’s going to try.

So, final thoughts! For the sake of completion, this is what I said about Coteries:

And of course this is the part where the game all falls apart :-\

Just… god. This is probably the biggest problem with CoNY, and the reason I didn’t bother getting it until it was like… 60% off. The bulk of the game is great - the writing is intriguing, the design is stunning. But the choices themselves are so limited it’s barely worth even getting it at 60% off!

You have three choices of characters, with their own opening chapters and own individual scenes with their touchstones. You have four choices of coterie members, and three sidequests. You can probably get in at least three full story arcs and a sidequest or two, but you’re only ever limited to two of your coterie members showing up at the not-yet-endgame.

So let’s say you decide to play all three protags, which, indeed, is encouraged (there’s an achievement for it). You are going to repeat coterie arcs and side quests, because there simply aren’t enough for three unique playthroughs.

And then you get to the end and literally everything is scripted. You get attacked by the SI. You get rescued by your two coterie members (and then never see them again, despite the game being called Coteries of New York). You meet Torque, you escape the SI, Sophie reveals her plan to Torque, you go to Ellis Island, Adelaide kills Sophie (and despite the fact that you’re given multiple options there, none of them work), Arturo does his spiel, end of game. You don’t even get to choose between ending up blood bound or going “no fuck you” and at least dying with a bit of dignity!

I just. I really want to like it, and there genuinely is a lot there to like! But uuuugh the ending. Like damn at least give the poor protag the option to choose what happens to them!

Anyway. Not sure what’s next. To get all the achievements, you have to finish with all three protags, so that’s three full runs and a lot of repetitiveness (compare to, say, Bloodlines or Night Road. I have eighty-five hours on Night Road and there’s still stuff I haven’t seen!), so I can’t even just… rush it through up to the meeting with the touchstones on the third play. Nope. Gotta finish it :-\

Final rating: 6/10

8/10 characters, 9/10 atmosphere, 8/10 story aside from ending, 3/10 story ending, 2/10 replayability. Final consensus: get it on major sale if you can, otherwise, you might as well just watch an LP. I might do that instead of doing a third run, although I at least want to do a second.

I ended up revising that 6/10 to 5.5/10 after finishing all runs and getting the achievements just out of how goddamn repetitive it was. So, how does Shadows measure up?

Absolutely continued with all the things I enjoyed about CoNY (characters, atmosphere, and writing), and of the bits I hated (cookie cutter protagonists, lack of real choice, repetitiveness, the godawful ending), every single part has been completely improved.

Instead of three fledglings so similar they even have the same internal thoughts, we have Julia, who’s got such a distinct voice that she becomes the most memorable game protag I’ve seen in years, and I’m including non-VtM games in this. This is absolutely her game, and it’s just... absolutely fascinating to read and watch.

Related - actual real choices. There are five key choices that determine the ending, and every single one has actual consequence in-game. You get different dialogue. Different introspection. Different philosophies. And this carries across - if Julia believes Agathon is alive, she’s more optimistic about her relationship with Dakota, too. And of course, both endings are completely distinct and incredibly written - the ‘good’ ending where Julia gives in to her most Lasombra instincts, plays the game, wins it, gets power and respect at the expense of her humanity and avoiding all those wraiths... or the ‘bad’ ending when she listens to her morals, reconciles with Dakota, and leaves for California, uncertain, but hopeful.

Not a lot of repetitiveness. Yes, by design, you’ll probably do two playthroughs. The main plot is much the same, but there are enough options there to get multiple dialogue options and stuff. And for the little sidequests, you can actually get all in with just the two playthroughs, only repeating like... two, I think. Still, I wasn’t feeling actively bored like I was midway through my second run of CoNY!

Loved seeing more in-depth backstory and development for the coterie members. Agathon’s section was particularly fascinating, literally getting into his head.

And just. Atmosphere and music is so, so good.

Final rating: 9/10. Thank you, Draw Distance, you hit it out of the park.

#vampire the masquerade #vtm shadows of new york #ry plays sony

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coppicefics · 4 years ago

Photo

Masked Omens: Week One

New chapter here, or read from the start here!

(Right click picture and select ‘View Image’ or ‘Open Image In New Tab’ for hi-res version.)

[Image Description: Image 1 - A simple rendition of the Masked Singer UK logo, a golden mask with colourful fragments flying off of it. The mask has a golden halo and a golden devil tail protruding from either side. Below, gold text reads 'Masked Omens'.

Image 2 - A newspaper page from the Capital Herald, dated Saturday, 26th December, 2020. Full image description and transcription below the cut.]

The Capital Herald, Saturday 26th December 2020 News, page 11

GODLEIGH MANOR RESTORATION SET TO BEGIN YouTube Community Comes To The Rescue Of Historic House In Unprecedented Donation Spree Restoration work on Godleigh Manor, Little Dyvyn, is set to proceed at last after years of stagnation – thanks to an unexpected influx of donations from interested members of the public. A house has stood on the site since at least the early 13th century, but most of the current building was constructed in the 18th century by its then owner, Lord Michael Godleigh. It remained a private residence until 1914, when it was commandeered as a military hospital for officers injured in the First World War. When the war was over, the officers went home, but the Godleigh family had suffered severe losses, and those who had been involved in treating the injured officers had many bad memories associated with the place. What was left of the family moved out, and – barring the operation of a second temporary hospital during the Second World War – this once-busy house has remained empty and silent ever since. Left to its own devices, the house began to crumble. Water found its way through the roof, and weeds forced their way up through the floor. By the time the deed to Godleigh Manor was passed on to its current owner, Lucy Godleigh, in the mid-1990s, barely a few rooms were anything close to habitable. “I set up in a mobile home on the grounds,” Godleigh told The Capital Herald, “and basically just started trying to secure the few rooms that hadn't been completely exposed to the elements. Then I contacted a restoration expert to find out what could be done for the rest of it.” The experts' verdict wasn't what she wanted to hear. “There was no chance I could pay for it myself. The rest of the family opposed me moving back here; I was on my own. And to get the whole place back to the way it was, we were looking at anything from fifty million to three hundred million pounds. I was going to need help raising the funds, so I started campaigning. But it was slow going. Nobody's keen to put their hands in their pockets to restore a stranger's old family pile.” And, for over two decades, it seemed that a pile would soon be all that was left. Godleigh moved into Little Dyvyn, and the property was abandoned once more to the tender mercies of the elements and the frequent trespassers who came to explore. “I'd go up a few times a week, but it hardly seemed worth it. I'd all but given up. But then one of those visitors saved the day.” A YouTube personality known as Sergeant Shadwell, famed for his urban exploration videos and the occasional paranormal investigation, contacted Godleigh to ask to film in the house. “I said yeah, whatever, do what you like, it's a mess,” Godleigh recalled, “and he saved it. He saved my home.” Shadwell uploaded a video of Godleigh Manor in the last week of November. In it, he speaks frankly about the challenges and benefits of preserving such old buildings. “I don't know about there being ghosts here,” he tells viewers, “but there's a lot of wasted potential. Stately homes like this can and should be used, and it'd be a real shame for this one to crumble. I'll add a link to the fundraiser in the video description.” The Wytchfynder Army, as Shadwell's fans call themselves, have so far contributed £80m to the Save Godleigh Manor campaign. The fundraising page is filled with messages of encouragement and support, attached to donations ranging from £5 to £1500. Some donors have even explained that they raised the money through sponsored swims, bake sales, and car washes. “It's enough to get started, to make a really good start,” Godleigh explained, “I can't thank him – all of them – enough. They really came together to help me – a complete stranger – and it means so much, it really does.” So what's next for Godleigh Manor? First, says Godleigh, the surviving rooms will need to be stablised. Then the house's ground floor will be restored to its former glory, and Godleigh hopes to work with local historians to ensure that it is both a functional and educational space. “I won't charge people any more to use it than I need to cover the cost of maintaining it,” Godleigh said. “How can I? It's being restored by this huge community; it belongs to the community, and to Little Dyvyn. It's going to be a great space for everyone to enjoy.” Work is now set to begin on the Godleigh Manor restoration project as early as April this year, depending on local planning committee approval of plans first drawn up in 1998. MARY HODGES. To find out more, or to contribute to the renovation costs, visit www.savegodleighmanor.org.uk.

[Image Description: A sepia photograph of a large, grand house. Inset, a colour photograph of a hole in a wall, through which weeds can be seen growing. End ID.] [Caption] NEGLECTED: Godleigh Manor, pictured above in 1980, was once the heart of a thriving community. Inset, weeds grow in what used to be a service corridor to the rear of the main building. (Photo: Annie Spratt on Unsplash. Inset: E. Diop on Unsplash.)

THE NEWS IN NUMBERS 800 years of a house on the site 300 years in its current form 23 generations in the same family 29 bedrooms 40 acres of land £50m lowest estimated renovation costs £300m highest estimated renovation costs 198k subscribers to Wytchfynder 291 Wytchfynder videos 10 years Sgt Shadwell served in the Army £80m raised by the Wytchfynder Army £91m renovation funds raised so far 15 years estimated to complete renovation

[Image Description: a rectangular ad with a picture of Dr. Raven Sable. His name is signed beneath his photograph. Text reads: Don't settle for a balanced diet when you can have a SABLE DIET. End ID.]

Corner Cuppa with Esther James

[ID: Photo of a young woman's face. She has black hair cut into a bob, and slightly gothic makeup. End ID.]

Why do we know you? I'm the captain of the Red Roses, which is the England Women's Rugby Team. What are you passionate about? Rugby! Also, my girlfriend Jane (Adams, also on the squad), and my charitable causes, of course. I support the NSPCC and the Albert Kennedy Trust, in particular - both fantastic charities helping young people who've been let down, in many cases, by the people they should most be able to rely on. I'm really glad to be involved with them. What's your favourite holiday of the year? Pride! I love getting dressed up and going to the parades – most of the time Jane and I get to march, these days, which is great. Last year we even got to ride on a float at one of them, which was really surreal – we got to cover ourselves in rainbow feather boas and just have a laugh waving at people. What a great time! What's been your proudest moment? So far, it's a tie between coming out as bi in a press conference – which was really scary at the time but which led to such good things and such good conversations – and being made captain of the Red Roses. It's an honour just to be selected for the national side, but to be chosen to lead from such a talented group of women is even better. I was walking on air for a week! If you could do anything in the world once, what would it be? Only once? I'd hate to do something and enjoy it and never get to do it again. But, OK, hypotherically... Something completely different and mad, like getting up on a stage and performing a song like I really mean it, or bungee-jumping. What scares you? Bungee-jumping! Which is exactly why I'd like to do it. I think it's good to get out of your own head and your own comfort zone and just do something that scares you, if you can. What's your ideal day? Taking a day off of training and just lying on the sofa watching films with Jane for the whole day. We love what we do, but we don't get a lot of downtime to just relax and snuggle. But then, when we do get a day off, it's usually at the same time, so that's lovely; we're always together and it hasn't started getting on our nerves yet! If you could go anywhere in the world right now, with no complications or restrictions, where would you go? I've always wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower, but somehow whenever I end up in France I don't find the time. Jane's never been to Disneyland, so I think we'd have to combine the two if we got a no-holds-barred trip somewhere. And, obviously, I wouldn't exactly hate getting to meet Mickey again! What's the best advice you've ever been given? My gran was as tough as old boots, and proud of it. She once sat me down, when I was quite young, and she said, “Essie,” which is what she called me, “Essie, you'll do all right in life if you remember this simple rule. Make sure you keep your nose clean, but don't be afraid to get your boots dirty.” I'm not sure she meant me to take it quite so literally! But I think what she meant was, don't get into trouble unnecessarily, but don't be so scared of getting it wrong that you can't do anything right. That's stuck with me, I've held onto it all these years, and I think it's a good motto to live by. What's one thing you wish someone had told you when you were younger? I wish they'd told me it was OK that I fancied girls, that things were getting better. I think we've still got a long way to go, as a community, but I never could have dreamed that a bisexual woman could captain England when I was a little girl. Let alone that it would be me! Finally, what's one thing you'd like to tell younger people now? Be true to yourself, be true to your friends, and be kind. I think the world will turn out fine if we all just try to be kind to one another, above all. Next week's cuppa: Ligur Mortice, head of the Ligur fashion house.

[End of page.]

#masked omens #very much fake news #mo week one #fanart

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cillius · 5 years ago

Note

Θα κάνουμε μαραθον με ρομαντικές ταινίες έχεις να μας προτείνεις;

Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind (2004)

Malaal (2019)

Deliha (2014)

Ready to Mingle (2019)

Can you keep a secret? (2019)

Punch Drunk Love (2002)

Tall Girl (2019)

The prince and me (2004)

My life in ruins (2009)

Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (2012)

Photograph (2019)

Always (2011) / Sadece Sen (2014) / Do Lafson Ki Kahani (2016)

Her Sey Asktan (2016)

Pure hearts (2017)

The Holiday Calendar ( 2018)

Falling Inn Love (2019)

Honey (2018)

Miseinen dakedo kodomo janai (2017)

We love (2018)

Missions of love (2018)

The black devil and the white prince (2016)

Clover (2014)

The break up artist (2009)

Maundy Thursday (2006)

The confession (2016)

Φτηνά Τσιγάρα (2000)

Blind Dating (2006)

Project Makeover (2007)

Why your crush doesn’t have a crush on you? (2013)

Waiting for forever (2010)

The Princess and The Marine (2001)

The Beautician and the beast (1997)

The painted veil (2006)

Nerve (2016)

Copenhagen (2014)

Listen to your heart (2010)

A princess for christmas (2011)

Der Krieger + die Kaiserin (2000)

Not another happy ending (2013)

Flying Home (2014)

Last Holiday (2006)

Take the lead (2006)

Fall in love at first kiss (2019)

Barely Lethal (2015)

Romance of their own (2004)

Lovewrecked (2005)

Love me! (2014)

Leading Lady (2014)

Geek Charming (2011)

16 wishes (2010)

Star Struck (2010)

After the ball (2015)

My fake fiance (2009)

It felt like love (2013)

Ego (2013)

Caramel (2007)

Brides (2004)

Το τανγκό των Χριστουγέννων (2011)

Ο 7ος ήλιος του έρωτα (2001)

A little thing called love (2010)

Finding mr. destiny (2010)

My tutor friend (2003)

Love 911 (2012)

Mischievous kiss the Movie (2016)

From me to you (2010)

Besieged (1998)

Pas son Genre (2014)

Love me if you dare (2003)

Heartbreaker (2010)

Populaire (2012)

Keith (2008)

Take me home (2011)

Alacran enamorado (2013)

Lady Chatterley’s lover (2015)

The boss’s daughter (2015)

The lighthouse of the whales (2016)

It’s a boy Girl thing (2006)

The spirit of christmas (2015)

Christmas Wedding planner (2017)

Rabbit without ears (2007)

Blood and chocolate (2007)

Love and honor (2013)

No stranger than love (2015)

My lucky star (2013)

Love at first punch (2014)

Three many weddings (2013)

Khoobsurat (2014)

Love 020 (2016)

In the mood for love (2000)

The scent of green papaya (1993)

Brick lane (2007)

Broken English (2007)

Good dick (2008)

Sparrow dance (2012)

Policeman and me (2017)

Blue spring ride (2014)

Love for beginners (2012)

High school debut (2011)

Seducing Mr. Perfect (2006)

He was cool (2004)

My little bride (2004)

100 days with Mr. Arrogant (2004)

200 pound beauty (2006)

Beauty and the briefcase (2010)

Sky of love (2007)

Las Leyes de la Thermodinamica (2018)

Tumbletown (2015)

Breaking & exiting (2018)

Confessions of a shopaholic (2009)

The ottoman lieutenant (2017)

Carmen (2003)

Candy jar (2018)

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Cute and dangerous (2015)

Highway (2014)

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Everyday (2018)

A christmas prince (2017)

The free world (2016)

Comet (2014)

Just Wright (2010)

A little bit of heaven (2011)

Orbiter 9 (2017)

Prom (2011)

Nappily ever after (2018)

In your eyes (2014)

This beautiful Fantastic (2016)

La belle et la Bete (2014)

Beyond the lights (2014)

Barefoot (2014)

Austenland (2013)

Accidental Love (2015)

Ashes in the snow (2018)

Double lover (2017)

Frantz (2016)

Mal de pierres (2016)

Dogfight (1991)

I am dragon (2015)

The princess switch (2018)

How I live now (2013)

Three steps above heaven (2010)

Becoming Jane (2007)

Chalet Girl (2011)

The cutting edge (1992)

Where hands touch (2018)

Lol (2012)

Equals (2015)

Penelope (2006)

Made of honor (2008)

The bounty hunter (2010)

Ghosts of girlfriends past (2009)

High Strung (2016)

What’s your number (2011)

Beastly (2011)

Letters to Juliet (2010)

Rust and bone (2012)

Flipped (2010)

The exception (2016)

Far from the madding crown (2015)

Music and Lyrics (2007)

One for the money (2012)

A room with view (1985)

Before we go (2014)

A little chaos (2014)

Last song (2010)

What if (2013)

Labor day (2013)

27 dresses (2008)

Suite Francaise (2014)

Everything, everything (2017)

What women want (2000)

The lucky one (2012)

Shallow hal (2001)

How to lose a guy in ten days (2003)

Warm bodies (2013)

Tulip fever (2017)

Jane Eyre (2011)

Memoirs of a geisha (2005)

The bodyguard (1992)

Remember me (2010)

Safe heaven (2013)

Lust caution (2007)

A walk to remember (2002)

Newness (2017)

The longest ride (2015)

The choice (2016)

Brooklyn (2015)

Passengers (2016)

Dirty dancing (1987)

To all boys I‘ve loved before (2018)

Me before you (2016)

Pride and prejudice (2005)

Cinderella (2015)

After (2019)

Man up (2015)

Leap Year (2010)

Set it up (2018)

Ugly truth (2009)

Mr. Right (2015)

The perfect date (2019)

Overboard (1987) / (2018)

The proposal (2009)

Destination Wedding (2018)

Pretty woman (1990)

The kissing booth (2018)

Man in Love (2014)

Phantom Thread (2017)

The awaking of Motti Wolkenbrunch (2018)

Holidays in the wild (2019)

Long shot (2019)

Let it snow (2019)

Who do you think I am? (2019)

The relation of mind, face and love (2009)

The Broken Hearts Gallery (2020)

An Impossible Love (2018)

The Garden of Evening Mists (2019)

Holidate (2020)

Operation Christmas Drop (2020)

Love & Basketball (2000)

Interlude City (2016)

Looks that Kill (2020)

Alaska (2015)

Babyteeth (2019)

Allacciate le cinture (2014)

The Lunchbox (2013)

Hasee Toh Phasee (2014)

Manmanrziyaan (2018)

Love Jacked (2018)

Psychobitch (2019)

Isi & Ossi (2020)

Love at Second Sight (2019)

Molly Maxwell (2013)

Premature (2019)

Eternal Winter (2019)

#ask #movies #movie #list #movie list #romance #romantic movies

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kiss-my-freckle · 4 years ago

Text

“Each factor taken separately is not conclusive, but put them together and it's clear - you haven't found your man because he's a woman.”

I see it too often - factors being argued separately against the mother theory. A popular thing for fans who can’t see it or simply don’t like it. I’ve decided to dish up an entire scene. Argue them separately all you like. Better if you can dish up another theory that fits all factors like Rederina does.

The Freelancer, dinner in Montreal (1x2) ...

Liz: Before we do this, let me be clear. I’m not here to socialize. I have no interest in having dinner with you, nor do we have the time. We meet your contact, we get the name of the Freelancer’s next victim, and we go. Understood? Red: I agree with you completely. But it is a restaurant, and it is dinnertime.

Whether characters in television or people in real life, you'll notice it's women more often than men that offer food. Gender roles in the household since the beginning of time. The strength of a man hunts while the woman prepares dinner. Mothers feeding their children. If you don't believe me, note what you see when you hit Ressler's mother's house. Whether it drink or snacks, women typically offer it. Recipes, cookbooks... more often kept by women.

Liz: So, what does this liaison look like? Red: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Anyone asks, you’re my girlfriend from Ann Arbor.

A woman’s female friend. Like Ellie, shown throughout the first season and even in the second when she saves Tom Keen from his gunshot wounds.

Liz: If you’re looking for a realtor, my girlfriend Ellie is awesome.

Liz Absolutely not. Red: Fine. You can be my daughter.

Confirmed in 5x22 that Liz killed Raymond Reddington in 1990.

Liz: I know now that those bones in that bag are Raymond Reddington's... the real Raymond Reddington. My father.

Speaking French.

Waiter: Bonsoir. Red: What would you like to drink? Liz: I’ll have wine. Chardonnay? Red: S’il vous plaít, pour madame, un cocktail de I’aviation.

Necessary if you’re dining in a Paris cafe with Ivan Stepanov.

Ivan: We know about Keen. What she's saying. That you're N-13. Red: An allegation no one believes. Ivan: A fact no one knows is true. We must do whatever we can to keep it that way.

Ivan: Katarina Rostova was N-13. And Katarina Rostova is dead.

Just as good, an imposter who claims to be Katarina spending an entire episode wanting Red to believe he's in a hospital in Paris.

Aram: I know we think he's in Paris, but maybe that's just another illusion.

Red is never identified with facial recognition.

Ressler: This one. Here. Bring that up. Tech: Running facial recognition now. No hits off the database yet.

This takes us to Rassvet.

Liz: He'd need doctors, like Koehler - someone who could change his face.

Red toasts to the future.

Red: Ahh. Liz: Oh, this isn’t what I ordered. Red: Mercí. To the future.

This takes us back to the womens shelter in Rassvet.

Shelter Worker: Most importantly, I think the woman who stepped into that ocean is dead. The one who emerged has new choices, a new future...

She pulls in the concept of death and rebirth. Flowers emerge.

Simple concept, symbolism. Winter is death, spring is rebirth.

Red: Aviation cocktail. It’s from the ’20s. Tastes like spring, doesn’t it?

Toss Katarina into Cape May waters, watch her be reborn. Death (Cape May) and rebirth (Rassvet). That's why I like watching them back-to-back.

Dom: For most people, baptism comes early. My daughter had to wait half her life to be reborn.

The whole truth.

Red: Tell me about your job. The profiling. I’m fascinated. How close to the truth do you think you can really get? Liz: Where’s your contact?

What Kate wanted Liz to learn.

Kate: Masha, I can show you the truth. Liz: What truth? Kate: If you want to know why he came into your life Liz: You're scaring me. Kate: I can take you. We can go together. But it has to be your choice.

Same truth Liz questioned in Berlin: Conclusion.

Red: I killed Sam because he was in pain and he wanted to die and because I had to protect you from the truth. Liz: What truth? The only memory I have of my real father... is from the night of the fire. I remember him pulling me out of the flames... saving me. Red: Yes. And knowing his identity would put you in grave danger.

This is all about sight. How Liz SEES things.

Red: Tell me my profile. Liz: Why would I do that? Red: You’ve heard the debriefs. You’ve read Ressler’s book reports. I so want to know how you see things.

Magic tricks fool the senses. Sight is commonly used in this series.

Red: You won’t find the girl until you learn to LOOK at this differently. ("You'll never find Rostova.")

Red: Two months later, she went to Cape May and left her clothes on the beach, walked into the ocean and was never SEEN again.

Dom: You know what I did. You have no idea how I feel - surrounded by nothing but memories - every Christmas, every time it rains. Red: The car. Dom: Yes. Red: The last time you SAW Katarina was in the rearview mirror.

Dom: Last time I SAW my daughter was in this rearview mirror nearly 30 years ago. If my Katarina was still here, she would have let me know.

Red: I know what you SAW, and it wasn’t everything you thought you SAW.

At least five dialogues, and there are plenty more where they came from.

Liz profiles the ghost of her mother. “A ghost. Life’s full of ’em.”

Liz: You’re a loner. You keep your distance. You travel freely through foreign lands. You’re rootless. You’re very comfortable here with your glass of Scotch, but you’re just as comfortable sleeping in a cave with rebels or sharing dinner in some hole-in-the-wall noodle shop. Your closest friends are strangers. You understand that tight bonds can make you vulnerable, so you’re careful not to have any.

Which follows the voiceover at the end of Ruin.

Agent McKenna: I don’t know how to explain any of this - The carnage, the death. I mean, what happened up there at that house - It’s bizarre. We have bodies, men murdered - drugged, burned alive - all known criminals with extensive records. And the woman, the one we believe is responsible - You have no idea who she was? Early: Grace. Nice woman, kind of quiet. Kept to herself. Paid cash. Agent McKenna: Did this Grace have a last name? Postal Worker: Talbot. At least that’s how it said it on the side of the packages. Agent Hobbs: Which she picked up here? Postal Worker: Sure. One every few weeks. Now and then, off and on. I mean, she didn’t get none too excited about it, but she got them all eventually. Agent McKenna: And you have no idea where those packages went? Postal Worker: At the house, I suppose. Are they not there? Agent McKenna: Let’s pivot. I’d like to talk about Mr. Elroy. Local Officer: The federal witness? Agent Hobbs: He said he was dropped off at the ER “like a Christmas gift.” Local Officer: That’s right. I mean, that’s what the head nurse said. Left him there on the doorstep of the medical center in Delta Junction. Said she saved his life. Local Officer: She knew he was someone important. I don’t know how, but - Agent McKenna: You know this woman didn’t just wander off. She made sure not to leave any trace evidence behind. Agent Hobbs: Not a Kleenex in the trash or a fingerprint in the barn or a hair in a drain. Not one. Agent McKenna: Place was wiped clean. Agent Hobbs: So clean, in fact, that we believe she may have learned how to clean a crime scene from a professional. Early: I don’t understand the question. Agent Hobbs: You saw her. You spoke to her. You tell me who you think she was. Postal Worker: I don’t know. Local Officer: I wish I could say. Local Officer: I think, uh, she was - Early: A ghost. Life’s full of ’em. ("Elizabeth. You raised an old ghost.")

No Roots = Rootless. Same things would’ve been said of Katarina in 1990.

Red being sarcastic. He knows Liz doesn't know her husband. He wants to know what Tom knows of the mark and the scar.

Liz: And that’s why you’re so conflicted about me. You need me. And you hate that about yourself, because it makes you vulnerable. Red: Tell me about your husband. Does he know you as well as you know him? Liz: Your contact is late. Red: Does he know about you as a child? Liz: It’s been 35 minutes. Red: Does he know about the fire?

Known since Liz’s Braxton recall, 2x10. Katarina was at the fire and knows about Liz’s scar. “Elements from Katarina’s past” are elements from Masha’s past (4x17 pre-pilot scene).

Katarina: There was a fire. Too many people. There was shouting and fighting. And Masha...

Red refuses to answer Liz's questions because he realizes Cooper placed agents inside the diner. He didn't even want wires.

Liz: Why am I so important to you? Did you know my parents? I asked you a question. Waiter: Oui, monsieur? Red: S’il vous plait, apportez–nous une bouteille quatre vingt deux chateau latour. Waiter: Bonsoir. Liz: Are you gonna keep trying to impress me with your knowledge of French wine, or are you gonna answer my question?

He wanted it to be just him and Liz.

Red: You should come. Just the two of us - no wires, no clumsy agents in the bushes. You want me to make an introduction, you need to trust me with my source. Ah! What fun! You’ll need a dress.

His final line is a push back to the pilot. Red: What if I were to tell you that all the things you’ve come to believe about yourself are a lie? Please excuse me for a moment.

It's all about who they are and who they were. Liz was Masha Rostova.

Worded differently for Red because he’s no longer a woman.

Red: Everything about me is a lie.

Katarina Rostova, now Raymond Reddington.

We then have Liz's profile of Red pushing her to run a DNA test. She's right on her profile, but she SAW a man sitting before her.

Liz: I ran his DNA two weeks after we met. We were undercover in Montreal having dinner, and he said that everything I thought I knew about myself was a lie. It was intimate and weird. And when we thought we were made, he snuck out the back and I palmed his scotch glass. But when the envelope came back, I was scared it would confirm the devil was my father. I didn’t look at it. Threw it away.

Raymond Reddington, just as much a ghost. Masha, Katarina, Dom, all of them... ghosts.

"Elizabeth. You raised an old ghost."

"Apparently, Reddington died 30 years ago. He rose from the grave once. I’m pretty sure he will again."

She threw away the results for the same reason Ressler wasn't supposed to look at Red's medical file. Their endgame, Rederina. And people wonder why I follow this theory. A single scene in a single episode full of Katarina. Everyone assumes Reddington is a fake death because of the way they ran the suitcase arc in S5. He's not a fake death. He's a fake life.

“A mother who died of weakness and shame.”

Red: What do you want me to say? Yes… Is that what you want me to say? Yes, Elizabeth is my daughter.

Weakness and shame.

Katarina Rostova. “The two of us have overcome so much.”

#Rederina

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televinita · 4 years ago

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Books Read In 2020: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself in 2016 and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book?

Below, my 100 reads of 2020 are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end, now with a bonus note about how I heard of it. Which I probably won’t continue to do next year, but it was fun to try.

ADULT FICTION

I read each of these books because...

A Glitter of Gold - Liz Johnson. 2019. It had me at "her pirate tour business," but between the shipwreck & the museum-director love interest it was like BLOOD & TREASURE ROMANCE AU LET'S GOOO.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Last Woman in the Forest - Diane Les Becquets. 2019. Recommended by a dog lover; I'm down for a thriller about a woman who has a dream dog-inclusive job like this.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman. 1990. I really enjoyed the miniseries and wanted to see if the book everyone loved so much was as good (for the record: it was not. at least not if you’ve seen the miniseries first; otherwise they are probably equal).

This Is Home - Lisa Duffy. 2019. Attractive cover + I flipped it open to a random page and just liked the writing style.

How I heard of it: library

Dear Mr. Knightley - Katherine Reay. 2013. I'd had this on the back burner for a while because the MC sounded like me, and one day I got sick of not being able to find any fluffy contemporary romances with beta male heroes and decided Matthew Gray Gubler was gonna star in this one. (spoiler alert: it is a good book but that did not work)

How I heard of it: a book blog

Rubbernecker - Belinda Bauer. 2013. Criminal Minds sent me into a tailspin so I went hunting for books to cast Spencer Reid in again; the Asperger's/case-solving/difficult relationship with mother combo sounded promising. (spoiler alert: the med-student element + his social cluelessness proved too strong and I was only able to picture the kid from The Good Doctor)

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Swiss Affair - Emylia Hall. 2013. I got a random hankering for a student/teacher novel, and after scrutinizing the library catalog this was the only one that fit my parameters for gender, lack of adultery, and focus on romance over sex.

How I heard of it: library

Love At First Bark - Debbie Burns. 2019. I was trying to cast Wes/Jules [Dollface] in a romance novel, so I browsed through a Goodreads friend's "dog-romance" shelf and accidentally landed in a Jeid AU [Criminal Minds]. Which may or may not have been a large part of what turned me into a Jeid shipper (outside canon only).

The Mermaids Singing - Val McDermid. 1995. One final attempt to cast Reid in a novel -- a user in a Reddit post asking for this very thing suggested this, and "profiler with idiosyncracies" certainly fit.

The Wire in the Blood [and 9 subsequent novels] - Val McDermid, spanning 1997-2019. Turns out aside from being British, Reid paints onto Tony Hill EXCEPTIONALLY well, and I accidentally found myself with a little Jeid AU in the process, so obviously I read the entire series. Good crime-solving fun and all that.

Horse - Talley English. 2018. Random library pull because I connected with the writing style and it appeared to actually focus on horses.

How I heard of it: library

A Sparkle of Silver - Liz Johnson. 2018. I liked the author's other book and this was pretty much a remix of the same story, but now with a cool mansion/estate setting.

How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Everyone Is Beautiful - Katherine Center. 2009. Went looking for stories about strong marriages, found this on a Goodreads list of "second chance marriage" books, tripped into something like a season 9 Jim/Pam scenario. How I heard of it: Googling keywords

The Lost Husband - Katherine Center. 2013. Loved the previous book of hers I read, and the "starting life over on a goat farm" angle sounded like an ideal life to try on.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Shadow Year - Hannah Richell. 2013. Fixing up an old house?? I am THERE. Doing this in two timelines, one of which involves off-the-grid homesteading, is even better.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Mandrake Root - Janet Diebold. 1946. I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and after spinning in circles over what I thought would appeal to my mood in that setting, my brain randomly said "reread this one."

How I heard of it: estate sale

Path of the Jaguar - Vickie Britton & Loretta Jackson. 1989. Bought cheap for cheap thrills: a Yucatan adventure/mystery. Read now so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Burying Water - K.A. Tucker. 2014. The library didn't have The Simple Wild, but they DID have a book w/ an equally pretty cover that talked about a badly beaten young amnesiac (!) recovering on a horse farm (!!). What is: my top romance trope (hurt/comfort, bonus points for animals and rural setting).

How I heard of it: library

Happiness for Beginners - Katherine Center. Established quality author + summertime hiking inspiration.

How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Visitors - Simon Sylvester. Cool cover + setting, and a teenage protagonist usually makes adult fiction more accessible. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Becoming Rain - K.A. Tucker. 2014. I was in this companion novel solely for mentions of Alex and any people by the last name of Wells, but figured I might as well read all of it to ensure I didn't miss any. How I heard of it: looking up more from this author

The Guest List - Lucy Foley. 2020. Honestly, it just sounded like a cool thriller (and cool setting). How I heard of it: a book blog

You Deserve Nothing - Alexander Maksik. 2011. Fell down a Will/Rachel [Glee] rabbit hole and ravaged the student/teacher keyword in my library catalog again to scratch the itch.

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson. 1959. Mom's been trying to get me to read this for years, and this time when it came up in conversation it was the right time of year, so I randomly decided to give it a shot. How I heard of it: Mom

The Walker in Shadows - Barbara Michaels. 1979. Gothic ghost story + beautiful architectural details in a historic house = yeah!

How I heard of it: Goodwill

YOUNG ADULT

People Like Us - Dane Mele. 2018. Needed an audiobook; a girls' boarding school murder mystery seemed most likely to hold my attention of the limited options. How I heard of it: Library

The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson. 2016. I will read anything by this author, and girl having a meltdown over a test = me. How I heard of it: looking up other books by this author

Rob&Sara.com - P.J. Petersen & Ivy Ruckman. 2004. Mostly I wanted to go back to my high school days and enjoy the format of a novel written in emails, but also, I like Ruckman. How I heard of it: used book sale

For Real - Alison Cherry. 2014. Fictional Amazing Race!! + awesome summery cover + sisters How I heard of it: library sale

The Summer After You + Me - Jennifer Salvato Doktorski. 2015. The awesome summery cover, mostly. How I heard of it: a book blog

You'd Be Mine - Erin Hahn. 2019. Gorgeous cover + the chance to vicariously follow a budding young country music star on tour for the summer.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Juniors - Kaui Hart Hemmings. 2015. The neat setting(s): a live-in guest on a wealthy estate in Hawaii. How I heard of it: Dollar store

Lion Boy's White Brother - Alden G. Stevens. 1951. Bought cheap because vintage juvenile book in a unique setting. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: used bookstore

The O.C.: Spring Break - Aury Wallington. 2005. I keep meaning to finish this short series, and it was an easy title to count for my Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Echo Island - Edward Karlow. 2017. Bought cheap because of the beautiful summery cover; easy read for Mount TBR so I could get rid of it. How I heard of it: library sale

Confessions of a High School Disaster - Emma Chastain. 2017. Read because of THE SUPER CUTE SUMMERY COVER (and diary format).

How I heard of it: Dollar store

Kentucky Daughter - Carol J. Scott. 1985. Working my way down the “Inappropriate Student/Teacher Relationships in YA" list because I'm in that kind of mood this year; chose this because 80s books tend to deliver the subject best*, the character reminded me of the girl in Send No Blessings, and Open Library had it. *this one was just blatant sexual harassment, though, and belonged very literally on that list

How I heard of it: Goodreads

What They Always Tell Us - Martin Wilson. 2008. I sorted the library catalog to see the oldest contemporary YA novels they still have before they get weeded, and "loner being taken under the wing of his older brother's (male) friend and falling in love with him" hit a couple of good tropes. How I heard of it: library

Bobby's Watching - Ted Pickford. 1993. Browsing around on OpenLibrary and saw they FINALLY had a copy of this book that scared me too much to finish as a kid, and which I've wanted to revisit ever since I remembered what it's called (Interlibrary Loan doesn't have it and it's Not Cheap to buy).

How I heard of it: library

Powwow Summer - Nahanni Shingoose. 2019. Always interested in modern-day Indigenous girls connecting w/ their heritage, especially if they're from my home state's tribe.

How I heard of it: a book blog

The Princesses of Iowa - M. Molly Backes. 2012. Appealing cover + heft suggesting a solid Midwestern contemporary, plus I liked the student teacher element (without a slash this time, as in "college student who is almost a teacher")

How I heard of it: library

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - Ann Brashares. 2001. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood - Ann Brashares. 2003.

Long-intended reread of a college fave because I wanted see Mike Vogel in the movie, and it was summer so the stars aligned. Continued because the first book was as good as I remembered. (I would have kept going but Life distracted me for a bit and by the time I was back on track, it was no longer summer) How I heard of it: I...can't remember. Am the worst!

The Distance From Me To You - Marina Gessner a.k.a. Nina de Gramont. 2015. Hiking inspiration + an appealing-sounding romance. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Where Have All the Tigers Gone? - Lynn Hall. 1989. Will read any of her books, but specifically read this one because it seemed fairly autobiographical, and I read it NOW because it seemed durable enough to take on vacation. How I heard of it: looking up books by this author

And Both Were Young - Madeline L'Engle. 1949 (text of 1983 edition w/ material from original manuscript added back). Something reminded me of its existence and I requested it because it was the only non-animal-focused vintage teen novel I could physically get my hands on before Interlibrary Loan opened back up, and I had a craving for just that.

How I heard of it: library

The Other Side of Lost - Jessi Kirby. 2018. Established quality author + throw me ALL the thru-hike novels!

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vow - Jessica Martinez. 2013. Perfect scenario to run an Abed/Annie [Community] AU!

How I heard of it: I want to say...an article on a book website (not personal blog this time) back in 2013.

Moon and Me - Hadley Irwin. 1981. Was just in the mood to read an 80s teen novel and this one helped me knock off a title for the Mount TBR challenge. From an author I like, w/ bonus horse content.

How I heard of it: used book sale.

Suicide Notes From Beautiful Girls - Lynn Weingarten. 2015. I bought a blind bag at the library sale and this was one of the only contemporary YA novels in it; figured I might as well read it since I'd liked a previous book of hers.

How I heard of it: Library

History Is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera. 2016.

With the Glee rabbit hole came a Klaine spiral; this was my season 4 Tragic AU dream for them and I've been saving it for a Klainey day ever since it was published. (No I am not sorry for that horrid pun.)

How I heard of it: googling keywords

The Museum of Heartbreak - Meg Leder. 2016. The cool cover/concept of a "museum" of items reeled me in; I bought a copy a while ago 'cause the library didn't have it. Read now to see if I could get rid of it (NOPE).

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Me & Mr. J - Rachel McIntyre. 2015. Student/teacher novel that looked especially appealingly tame so I'd been saving it, but then Open Library notified me it was now only available in 1-hour increments, and I got paranoid it would disappear altogether (it's not cheap to buy or available via ILL), so I wanted it in my brain.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen - Val Emmich w/ Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. 2018. Fell in love with the DEH soundtrack. Play's summary sounded good -- getting to experience it in YA novel form?? Amazing.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Saddle a Thunderbolt - Jo Sykes. 1967

Bought a while ago because vintage horse story. Read now specifically to alleviate my pre-homesickness about moving by imagining living in an even more beautiful place than home.

How I heard of it: either a used book sale or a used bookstore...

Learning to Breathe - Janice Lynn Mather. 2018. This was mentioned on a lost-book forum and "girl with unplanned pregnancy supports herself by getting a job cleaning" piqued my interest; the setting (Bahamas) and cover made it better.

How I heard of it: Reddit

Everglades Adventure - James Ralph Johnson. 1970. Standard vintage boys' adventure-in-nature story; I like those.

How I heard of it: Goodwill

CHILDREN’S/MIDDLE GRADE

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott. 1868. Seeing the new movie and falling head over heels was what it took to FINALLY convince me to reread this childhood fave.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

A Little Princess - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1905. I was perusing a lot of books about classic children's books and it started to bug me that I had skipped this appealing-sounding one as a kid.

How I heard of it: can't remember; I was a kid

Little Men - Louisa May Alcott. 1871. LW sparked a fandom revival and I wanted more detail about the Marches' adult lives (esp. Jo & Bhaer), even on the fringes.

How I heard of it: library

Lady and the Tramp - Ward Greene. I saw a quote from the new movie under a gifset on Tumblr that sounded like it came from a book, and upon Googling out that one existed, I obviously could not allow the book version of a beloved childhood animal-movie fave to go unread. Especially after finding out it was super rare so reading it would be a privilege.

The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett. 1910. Read for the same reason as A Little Princess. Can’t have one without the other, you know.

How I heard of it: was a kid; can't remember

The Mother-Daughter Book Club - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2007. Much Ado About Anne - Heather Vogel Fredericks. 2008.

Always thought the series looked cute/reminded me of The Teashop Girls, but the fact that the first book they read is Little Women gave me the impetus to finally read this one. First book was darling so I continued to the next (but failed to continue beyond because COVID shut the library down until I was out of the mood).

How I heard of it: library

Nature Girl - Jane Kelley. 2010. I wanted walking inspiration.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

From You to Me - K.A. Holt. 2018. Mistook it for a similar-looking book I'd seen at the same time (See You On A Starry Night), but figured I'd give the 8th grade bucket list idea a shot once I had it. How I heard of it: Goodreads

Semiprecious - D. Anne Love. 2006. Cute cover + I'm starting to be a big fan of what I call "contemporary historical," for stories set mid-20th century.

How I heard of it: library

Dandy's Mountain - Thomas Fall. 1967. Vintage horse-inclusive children's book in a rural setting, I'm sold. Not to mention, love reading a summer setting in summer.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Littler Women: A Modern Retelling - Laura Schaefer. 2017. The only way to make the Little Women MORE magical is to make them younger, modern, and written by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: a book blog

Behind The Attic Wall - Sylvia Cassedy. 315 pg/1983.

A Goodreads friend strongly recommended it as similar to but better than Mandy, and reading about it in 100 Best Books For Children sealed the deal. Read now for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Jigsaw Jungle - Kristin Levine. 2018. I am a COMPLETE sucker for books told in non-traditional/scrapbook-esque format.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Runt - Marion Dane Bauer. 2002. Wolf story by a quality author. Read now after owning it for a decade to see if I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

The King of the Cats - Rene Guillot. 1959. Bought cheap for a quick read because vintage animal story. Read now so I could get rid of it.

How I heard of it: used book sale

Just The Beginning - Betty Miles. 1976. Found cheap; always down to read a vintage book about an average girl (and I wanted to know how she'd cope with her mom being "a cleaning lady in a town full of classmates who HAVE cleaning ladies").

How I heard of it: used book sale

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling. 1997. Been meaning to reread the series for a while now; finally got motivation to check out the illustrated edition 'cause Christmastime.

How I heard of it: originally Mom; a book blog for this edition

Echo Mountain - Lauren Wolk. 2020. Almost entirely because of the incredible clipart cover, promising me nature and a dog (and because I could get it as an e-audiobook from the library).

How I heard of it: a book blog

Knock Three Times - Cressida Cowell. 2019. I needed another audiobook for bedtime/walks and I know that David Tennant will provide.

How I heard of it: more by this author (more accurately, narrator)

NONFICTION

The Red Leather Diary: Reclaiming A Life Through The Pages Of A Lost Journal - Lily Koppel. 2008. I'm kind of obsessed with the concept of historical 5-year diaries -- and finding one like this is The Dream.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'd Rather Be Reading: The Delights and Dilemmas of the Reading Life - Anne Bogel. 2018. Attractive and compact book about the pleasures of being a reader? A headspace I want to be in.

How I heard of it: library

100 Best Books for Children - Anita Silvey. 2004. I'm big on looking at lists of books for children this year. These are the kind of books I know, love, and want to hear people talk about, now that I know books about these books exist.

How I heard of it: library

The Coming of Saska - Doreen Tovey Originally bought because it was cheap and featured animals, I needed a non-library book to bring on vacation, and this one is a durable ex-library copy in plastic wrap that featured a similar setting to where I was going, so: thematic.

Cats in the Belfry - Doreen Tovey. 1957. Wanted more of her books, and lo and behold the library had the first one.

How I heard of it: more by this author

Sorry Not Sorry - Naya Rivera. 2016. I'll read anything the Glee kids write, and this doubled as an easy number for the Mount TBR challenge.

How I heard of it: entertainment news websites

Living Large in Our Little House - Kerri Fivecoat-Campbell. 2016. I love tiny houses. And this one specifically mentioned living with dogs. And had color photographs.

How I heard of it: used bookstore

I'm Your Biggest Fan: Awkward Encounters and Assorted Misadventures in Celebrity Journalism. - Kate Coyne. 2016. Found cheap at a library sale -- loved the chapter headings and the fact that they were all about celebrities I knew.

Adrift - Tami Oldham Ashcraft w/ Suesea McGearheart. 1998/2018 edition. The movie was so awesome that I couldn't wait for more details about the real story in her own words.

I'll Be Gone In The Dark [NF] - Michelle McNamara. 2018. Been reading a lot of true crime write-ups on Reddit lately; decided it was time to pick up this well-received one.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Dear Evan Hansen: Waving Through A Window - Steven Levenson. 2017. Much like The Grimmerie for Wicked, once I fell in love with the DEH soundtrack and looked up the plot summary, I wanted to read the musical's detailed background/behind the scenes story + libretto before I watched it.

How I heard of it: Wikipedia

Empty Mansions: The Mysterious Life of Huguette Clark and the Spending of a Great American Fortune - Bill Dedman & Paul Clark Newell. 2013. Love me a story about a mansion (or three). Or the reclusive and insanely wealth heiress who owns them, that works too.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

JUVENILE NONFICTION Mascots: Military Mascots from Ancient Egypt to Modern Korea - Fairfax Downey. 1954. Animal book from an author I like; read now to see if I could get rid of it (yes).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

Come on, Seabiscuit - Ralph Moody. 1963. Bought because vintage kids' horse book; read now to see if I could get rid of it (and to count it towards my Mount TBR challenge 'cause it was short).

How I heard of it: secondhand bookstore

#why i read

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mikeyhatesit113 · 4 years ago

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forever and never: Chapter 12

My Toyota Matrix speeds down the highway, leaving the New York City skyline behind us in the rear view mirror. Janie sits in the passenger seat, admiring the engagement ring I had given to her just hours before in Times Square.

Ahead of us, the sun sinks slowly toward the horizon. Everything about that day had been perfect, and it was sending us off with a beautiful sunset. I felt proud as Janie smiled genuinely at her ring, knowing in my heart that I had treated her like a true princess that day.

“It’s beautiful,” she says. “I love you.”

I look over at her with a smile as wide as the Brooklyn Bridge itself.

“I love you too,” I say, pride swelling in my chest.

“Forever and ever,” she says.

“Plus a day,” I whisper.

2 Years Later

Janie and I step onto our front porch step, anticipation building in my chest. I had not been home in more than 3 weeks, and I had no idea what awaited me on the other side of the front door.

I had spent sleepless nights at my grandmother’s house, mental images torturing me during the night. Wicked animations produced by an imagination hell-bent on punishing me. Images that took place in the very dwelling I was about to re-enter for the first time in over 21 days.

Janie opens the door, and I take in the scene before me.

The smell hit me first. The scent was unfamiliar, as if something else had inhabited the place since my abrupt departure.

Stale cologne?

What was more, the furniture had been rearranged. The kitchen looked different, decorated with additional chairs and flat surfaced stands.

It was at that moment when I noticed that Janie was studying me, awaiting my reaction to the many changes to the place I had previously called home.

This, however, did not look like home. This was a foreign place, accented by a foreign occupant who was hiding in plain sight.

But what, or who, I could not put my finger on.

I forced a smile, hugging Janie. Though I did not recognize this environment, another part of me desperately wanted to call it home again.

Janie gave me a tour, which proved to be an orientation into her new world. A universe she had constructed in my absence, but a galaxy I was almost certain that she did not build alone.

“Wow,” I mumbled as we trudged up the stairs to the bedrooms. Brock’s room looked almost untouched, but James’ room yielded a big difference.

There was now a ball python resting in a tank beside his TV.

“Who’s snake?” I asked.

“Steppenwolf’s,” Janie said anxiously. “He brought it as a gift for the boys,” she quickly explained.

“He stayed here?” I asked, a familiar irritation arising in my chest, despite my best efforts.

“Only when the boys wanted him to, for a sleepover,” she replied.

“Oh,” I said. I immediately felt trapped again, like I was going against everything I had tried to stand for. I felt outraged. I felt like I had been violated.

I felt sick.

“And uh, where did he sleep?” I asked.

“Downstairs on the couch,” she said. “He didn’t stay here often.”

“And where did you sleep when you went to his house?” I asked.

“On his couch or in a spare room,” she replied as a matter-of-factly.

I wanted to believe her. I needed to believe her. It was the only way this could work.

“Ok...” I spoke, trying to shove her truth down my throat.

I hoped to God that he didn’t see the inside of our bedroom, which in fact, had also been transformed during my absence.

My brand new queen-size bed was long gone, currently locked up in a dark storage unit. In its place was a twin bed with a frame that creaked, and a mattress with springs that groaned. Additionally, the right side of our room was lit up with a red light that glowed from another large reptile tank which housed a lizard.

That night, I slept warily beside her in that crimson-lit room. I laid awake, wondering what I didn’t know. Wondering what she wasn’t telling me. Wondering if I was making the right decision.

I certainly didn’t have the support from my friends and family, who were incredulous that I returned to her embrace.

“I just want your support and friendship right now,” I texted my friend one day. “You got it,” he wrote back.

His response was not what I was looking for, but did he have the right words to make me feel like I was doing the right thing?

No one did, but in the effort of leaving no stone unturned, everyone’s opinion could not matter.

This was my journey, and no one else’s footsteps or words could complete the distance for me. I had to do it myself, whether it was 3 days, 3 weeks, or forever and ever, just like we had always promised eachother.

Logistically, the tricky task was moving the right amount of stuff back home to Janie and I’s place. I was not ready to empty my room at my Grandmother’s house, nor did I touch my storage unit.

They had been safe zones, and as happy as I was to be back home, I was still rather uncomfortable. I wanted to take it slow, if there was a such thing for a married couple.

Of course, there were other things returned. Janie drove with me to my grandmother’s house one Sunday afternoon to grab one of the things she had missed the most; her Lancer.

In the Lancer’s absence, her father had bought her a $300 mid-1990’s Oldsmobile that had an oil leak problem. It did not have a 6-disc CD player, but it did have a cassette player with cracked vinyl seats.

Call it vintage appeal, if you will. A time machine back to the 1990’s on 4 wheels.

I remember handing Janie the car key to the Lancer and her excitedly hopping in the driver seat. “I love this car,” she said, taking in the interior all over again as if it were the first time ever.

When the boys came home from their father’s house that evening, it was the reunion I was looking forward to most. I hugged them both, telling them both how much I had missed them. As far as I was concerned, I was back for good. And they’d never feel that pain again.

I did have unfinished business, however. I had seen enough photos of the boys sporting fedora hats, indicating that Steppenwolf had bought them their very own wacky hats. I did not appreciate these photos, so one afternoon, I found his Facebook.

I simply sent him this:

It wasn’t long before he answered me.

“Hello?” he responded.

I couldn’t resist myself.

“I want to thank you for trying to take care of a family that wasn’t yours, and I hope you kept the receipt from whatever costume shop you bought those ridiculous hats from.”

“That purple sports car will never fill the void.”

“How does it feel to be an empty old man?”

“What’s wrong, Steppenwolf? Answer me.”

Steppenwolf did not respond, and I was blocked shortly thereafter.

Janie, however, was not happy that I had attacked Steppenwolf. When I told her about what I had sent him, she told me that she already knew I had done so, and that she just wanted me to leave it alone.

Nothing had happened between them. He had been just a friend.

Upon our reunion, Janie and I agreed to participate in marriage counseling. One October evening, our pastor showed up to our home and ate a nice dinner with us. Afterwards, with the cool, Autumn air flowing through the screen door near the kitchen table, Janie and I sat across from each other as our pastor looked on from the side.

We had each written down our concerns on a piece of paper, and it didn’t take long before the dialogue spun out of control.

In my endeavor to overlook so much and ignore so many little details, I could not bring myself to believe that she hadn’t lied to me. That she hadn’t kissed one of my best friends.

That she hadn’t betrayed me.

That I wasn’t her fool.

I guess in the end, even though I felt worthless, I owed myself some semblance of the truth.

I felt the conversation turn against me, and our pastor was soon siding with Janie about my paranoia. He hadn’t lived the nights I had, and he hadn’t seen the dark shadows drift in and out of our lives for the past 2 years.

Specters of betrayal. Phantoms that she denied ever existed.

Ghosts and goblins that haunted the life I thought we’d build.

Secrets that wouldn’t stay dead. Rotting corpses that wouldn’t stay buried.

“Michael,” our pastor chuckled. “You have these...construction crews...in your head,” he spoke. “And they build things out of these thoughts you have,” he said, laughing softly. Janie sat beside him, smirking at me.

I’ll never forget the smug look on her face as she stared at me, enjoying the fact that another human being had taken her at her word.

Nothing happened. He’s angry. He’s paranoid.

I couldn’t take it. I had tried to suppress it, bury it, destroy it, even...but the rage had returned. I stood up abruptly from my chair, anger coursing through my veins.

So many friends and family had contributed to my mental health over the past weeks, and this is how I repaid them? This is how I rewarded myself?

Being mocked by my pastor and my wife during marriage counseling?

“You sit there,” I bellowed, pointing a finger at her. “Laughing at me, looking down on me from your pedestal? Trust me, hunny, I’m looking down on you. I have nothing for you.”

I went to walk away, but my pastor called me back to the table.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ekim,” he said. “Where are you going? Get back to this table.”

I returned to the table slowly, staring at Janie. Her smirk was gone, replaced by a poisonous look of revulsion. I echoed her emotion.

We truly were toxic.

Of course, that counseling session was the start of the downward slope. More odd occurrences around the house sparked more questions and suspicions.

Like the Earl Grey Teabags on the counter, and the Syracuse hoodie I found in the wash basket one morning while I was folding clothes.

Janie was not a tea drinker, nor was she a Syracuse fan. Janie wasn’t home at that time, so I texted her a picture of the hoodie with the simple question, “What’s this?”

“Uh, a Syracuse hoodie,” she responded.

“I get that. Why do you have a Syracuse hoodie?” I texted.

“My family lived in Syracuse for a little bit when I was a little girl,” she texted back.

This was a blatant lie. Her family had never lived in Syracuse, much less another county.

Janie and I hobbled on, but our legs were giving out. The fighting soon made a vengeful comeback, and our tempers boiled over one rainy day.

I struggled with the lies. I struggled with the stories. I struggled with the person I had become. I hated him. I hated what I saw in the mirror. I hated his guts.

I hated what I did to Jay, now that I was at some capacity to understand it years later.

My mood became tense, and the suspicions only increased.

In the kitchen one day, we locked horns. Janie was making dinner when an argument started. It would be futile to try to tell you exactly regarding what, as I cannot remember due to the violent maelstrom we were trapped in. The reasons for conflict and discord were abundant and vicious. Pick one.

After a venomous word exchange, Janie slammed the casserole dish down on the stove top, cracking it. I turned away and marched out the front door into the pouring rain. I unlocked my car, sobbing as I flung open the door and sat in the driver seat.

I had not noticed Janie following me, and she came into my view as I shoved my key into the ignition.

“Where are you going?” she pleaded.

I didn’t plan to say it, and to be honest, I didn’t even know I felt it like I did.

But it came from the heart.

“I fucking hate my life,” I cried, looking her in the eyes. She stared back at me pitifully, the cold rain drops falling on both of us as we took each other in.

Who were we? What had we become?

How had our house of cards collapsed like this? We thought we were the exception.

We hobbled on.

One sunny Saturday morning before Halloween, we were ready to go to a pumpkin patch. However, before walking out the door, I noticed that James was apprehensive.

Everyone else had walked out to the car, and I seized the moment to address James alone.

“James, what’s wrong?” I asked, walking up to him and kneeling down.

“I’m afraid you’re going to leave again,” he said, looking at the ground.

I was taken aback, but I was encouraged all the same.

“James, I love you, your brother, and your mommy very much,” I said. “I love you, and I’m not going to leave you,” I assured him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“I promise, I’m here for good.”

After Halloween, we saw another November 1st arrive. Our anniversary, a day we hailed for years as the day we found eachother.

A day, 5 years earlier, that changed both of our lives forever.

A day I had progressively become more and more ashamed of.

I gave her the gift I had gotten her, a flashy trinket with the engraving, “Forever and ever”.

As soon as she opened it, I could tell she was expecting more. Another disappointing gift on another day we had no reason to celebrate.

Little did I know, that November 1st would be our last.

This is where I’m going to ask you to dig in your memory bank and pull out a date. A date I asked you to remember many chapters ago.

A date with more significance and karma than you could guess.

November 4th.

Welcome to the End.

“Passion or coincidence, Once prompted you to say, "Pride will tear us both apart". Well, now pride's gone out the window, Cross the rooftops, Run away... Left me in the vacuum of my heart.

What is happening to me? Crazy, some'd say. Where is my friend when I need you most? Gone away.”

Duran Duran “Ordinary World”

NOTE: Though this is my side of the story, including my own personal recollections and opinions, the reader should not consider this note anything other than a work of literature. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

#dating #depression #suicide #relationships #breakups #relationship advice #forever #hate #love #loyalty #taylor swift #horror #broken #papa roach #marriage #karma #marriedlife #divorce #daddysgirl

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ladyaryawolf · 5 years ago

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Why Jonsa does not work in the books.

This post is where starts the conflict. Jonsa thoughs. My toughts.

What makes a lot o people ship Jon x Sansa is because of the show, and I can understand it. Ship what you want. It's your right.

It does not mean that people can lie about what happens in the books, or what is cannon by GrrM himself.

D&D gave part of Arya's history and traits to Sansa in the show. Fact.

Jeyne Poole was using Arya's name. She was the one that was abused by Ramsay Balton. This false Arya was the one that the North went into a War, and the one that made Jon Snow break his vows. It was not Sansa who Jon fought and died for.

Ship what you want. You are free to ship. Making paralelles about Cat and Ned with Jonsa. Okay. I am a Jonrya shipper. I make parallels of Jonrya and Lyanna/Rhaegar and Alyssane/Jaehaerys. We are passionate shippers after all, in a fandom where morality is not a big deal the most part of time. You have a mean to make your point, then use it.

But whatever. GrrM said that the show and the books are like different universes. Words of the author. You can't discuss that.

What I can NOT take is people lying about canonic things, and my mind explodes when I read a lot of lies of the books to justify Jonsa.

Like Sansa is Jon's type. Like Jon remembers of Sansa when he met Ygritte. Like Jon and Sansa were always close. Lies!

He compares Ygritte to Arya, tought he addmit they don't even look alike, he never, never tought about Sansa while with Ygritte. He compares Val to Arya.

"They had always been close. Jon had their father’s face, as she did. They were the only ones. Robb and Sansa and Bran and even little Rickon all took after the Tullys, with easy smiles and fire in their hair. When Arya had been little, she had been afraid that meant that she was a bastard too. It had been Jon she had gone to in her fear, and Jon who had reassured her." (Jon, A Game of Thrones).

"And Arya … he missed her even more than Robb, skinny little thing that she was, all scraped knees and tangled hair and torn clothes, so fierce and willful. Arya never seemed to fit, no more than he had … yet she could always make Jon smile. He would give anything to be with her now, to muss up her hair once more and watch her make a face, to hear her finish a sentence with him." (Jon, A Game of Thrones)

"The memory of her laughter warmed him on the long ride north." (Jon, A Game of Thrones)

"Gods of my fathers, protect these men. And Arya too, my little sister, wherever she might be. I pray you, let Mance find her and bring her safe to me." (Jon, A Dance with Dragons)

"Bring her home, Mance. I saved your son from Melisandre, and now I am about to save four thousand of your free folk. You owe me this one little girl." (Jon, A Dance with Dragons)

“I have no sister.” The words were knives.

"The girl smiled in a way that reminded Jon so much of his little sister that it almost broke his heart." (Jon, A Dance with Dragon)

"What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister? "(Jon, A Dance with Dragons)

The Ygritte comparation:

“Jon could see fear and fire in her eyes. Blood ran down her white throat from where the point of his dirk had pricked her. One thrust and it’s done, he told himself. He was so close he could smell onion on her breath. She is no older than I am. Something about her made him think of Arya, though they looked nothing at all alike. “Will you yield?” he asked, giving the dirk a half turn. And if she doesn’t?” - Jon VI, ACoK

“Ygritte watched and said nothing. She was older than he’d thought at first, Jon realized; maybe as old as twenty, but short for her age, bandy-legged, with a round face, small hands, and a pug nose. Her shaggy mop of red hair stuck out in all directions. She looked plump as she crouched there, but most of that was layers of fur and wool and leather. Underneath all that she could be as skinny as Arya.” - Jon VI, ACoK

“Ygritte trotted beside Jon as he slowed his garron to a walk. She claimed to be three years older than him, though she stood half a foot shorter; however old she might be, the girl was a tough little thing. Stonesnake had called her a “spearwife” when they’d captured her in the Skirling Pass. She wasn’t wed and her weapon of choice was a short curved bow of horn and weirwood, but “spearwife” fit her all the same. She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore.” - Jon II, ASoS

“If you kill a man, and never mean t’, he’s just as dead,” Ygritte said stubbornly. Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya. Is she still my sister? he wondered. Was she ever?” - Jon III, ASoS

When he received the letter of Ramsay

"Jon saw no reason not to tell him. “Moat Cailin is taken. The flayed corpses of the ironmen have been nailed to posts along the kingsroad. Roose Bolton summons all leal lords to Barrowton, to affirm their loyalty to the Iron Throne and celebrate his son’s wedding to…” His heart seemed to stop for a moment. No, that is not possible. She died in King’s Landing, with Father."

"Jon could almost see her in that moment, long-faced and gawky, all knobby knees and sharp elbows, with her dirty face and tangled hair. They would wash the one and comb the other, he did not doubt, but he could not imagine Arya in a wedding gown, nor Ramsay Bolton’s bed. No matter how afraid she is, she will not show it. If he tries to lay a hand on her, she’ll fight him."

"His fingers closed around the parchment. Would that they could crush Ramsay Bolton’s throat as easily." (Jon, a Dance with Dragons).

"Jon felt as stiff as a man of sixty years. Dark dreams, he thought, and guilt. His thoughts kept returning to Arya. There is no way I can help her. I put all kin aside when I said my words. If one of my men told me his sister was in peril, I would tell him that was no concern of his. Once a man had said the words his blood was black. Black as a bastard’s heart. He’d had Mikken make a sword for Arya once, a bravo’s blade, made small to fit her hand. Needle. He wondered if she still had it. Stick them with the pointy end, he’d told her, but if she tried to stick the Bastard, it could mean her life." (Jon, A Dance with Dragons).

• In books the quote “Love is the death of duty” by Maester Aemon is used when Jon decidesld break his vows from nights watch to save “Arya”. Arya is the character Jon loves the most and he thinks on her in every moment.

He dies thinking about Arya:

"Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger’s hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. “Ghost,” he whitspered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold…" (Jon, A Dance with Dragons).

George's Interviews:

“At some points, when [Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss] and I had discussions about what way we should go in, I would always favor sticking with the books, while they would favor making changes,” he said. “I think one of the biggest ones would probably be when they made the decision not to bring Catelyn Stark back as Lady Stoneheart. That was probably the first major diversion of the show from the books and, you know, I argued against that, and David and Dan made that decision.” - Time Magazine, 2017

“You have to remember that I started writing this story in 1991 and I first met David and Dan in 2007. I was living with these characters and this world for 16 years before we even started working on the show. They’re pretty fixed in my mind and I’m not going to change anything because of the show, or reaction to the show, or what fans think. I’m just still writing the story that I set out to write in the early 1990s.” - Time Magazine, 2017

My conclusion:

Like I said before. You are free to ship everyone, but not lie about Canon things written by George RR Mantin himself. This is the canonic verse. Jon and Samsa rarely think of each other. Sansa was always distant from him, she regreats it later, but still is a fact. I am not an anti-Sansa. She is not my favorite, i addmit, but anti, for me, is somente idiot that says stupid arguements with insults just to put another character in glory, only because they dislike another, and even refuse to aguement as adults. In another words, those antis are childsh.

There is a lot of people saying that Jon would be good for Sansa and take him out of her is something cruel, as everything that is good for her is fanservice. We agree in disagree. There is no way we could try taking Jon from Sansa, if he was not hers in first place. Like I said, they rarely think of each other, she bullied him when they lived together, she kept distance following Cat's personal opinion. Sansa's fault? No. She was a child seeing her mother's opinions, and following it. It does not change what she have done. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that Jon hates her, but the memories he shares with Sansa during his childhood are not the best. It doesn't mean they won't get along. They will! Of course they will, by all they could know, they would be the lasts of the Starks alive. Sansa might go to Winterfell in TWoW before Arya. Would they get closer? Probably. Will they share the same bond showned on TV show? No. This is bad for her? No. She would be home, with her family. This is bad to you? Sounds terrible? Does it sounds harsh?

Like, other thing that I hate about Jonsa-stans (just a part of them) justifies that she needs someone to make her happy. With all respect, if you think this way about Sansa, you do not like her. Not really. Sansa is much more complex of a character to say that only a romantic relationship with a man could make her happy. She does not need someone else in a romantic way to make her happy. She passed through a hell in King's Landing, and Petyr actions with her can be described only as disgusting. To say the only good thing that could happen to her is a man, you are reducing her character to a simple one. Everything she wants it's to go home. She is smart, kind and clever. Sansa is making Petyr Baelish play in her hands. I don't want Sansa to end up alone. She deserves a lot. She is really strong, in so many ways. Her strengh is not like Arya, Ygritte or Val. It's subtle and delicate, like Margaery in someway. Sansa deserves a man who respects her, a man who loves her with all his heart, a man that carries for her the same way Jon carries for Arya. Uconditionally.

Other thing that I hear is that Jonsa stans always says that, we, Arya-stans, look to Jonsa as threat to Arya, and we all get mad about it. I can't talk in the name of the others. For me, fuck the show. I don't care. I don't even look at the show as part of GrrM work anymore. But what gets me mad as an Arya stan, and a Jonrya shipper is not Jonsa itself. They had chemistry on screen, but in the books they don't have any of it. This is what gets me mad.

It's trying to stole something that belongs to Jon and Arya alone that gets me mad. One of the strongest and purest bonds I have ever seen in books or screen. It doesn't belong to Sansa all this devotion. It's not canon in the books, and annoys me to see tons of people lying and self inserting Sansa in Jon's heart just because they want the books to happen the same way in the show. Forget it. It's not going to happen. A lot of other characters and relationships have been destroyed by D&D, not only Jon & Arya. Write and read fanfics. Ship whatever the hell you want, but don't lie about cononic things. If Jon and Arya get along as a romantic couple or not, does not change that this bond is theirs. Sansa has her own history in the books. Her own importance. She wil be part to take Winterfell back, not the same way she did on the show, but she will be a big part of it. And she is a Stark! The end! Sansa is a southern lady in many ways, but she is Sansa Stark and a princess by her own right, dammit! She says it herself that her strengh comes from the walls within Winterfell!

Thank you to read. I have to be greatful to another posts that helped me to write it. I have to say sorry about my grammar. English is not my first language, but I hope what I wrote was clear to understand. See you soon.

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years ago

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1026.

5k Survey LXXIII

3701. If you HAD to do your holiday shopping for EVERYONE in only ONE store what store would you pick? >> --- 3702. What's more annoying: the person in front of you driving ten miles under the speed limit on a regular day OR a person who cuts you off doing 10 miles over the speed limit on a stormy day? >> I don’t drive, so none of this affects me. 3703. Define the word TIME without using the word time in the definition. >> No. 3704. What old cartoons do you remmeber watching? >> The only cartoon I remember watching is Johnny Bravo. I don’t know why that one got a pass for a short time, but my father generally forbid me from watching non-”educational” children’s television. 3705. Do you think that people care only about the people they know personally or do most people care about all people? Why do you think people feel that wway? >> Well, yeah, of course people care mostly about the people they know personally. That’s just science.

3706. Are you more like Brak Zorak or Space ghost and why? >> What??? 3707. Would you rather see the movie first and then read the book or read the book and then see the movie? >> I’d rather see the movie first and then read the book, since in so many cases it’s felt like the book was the more impactful and dense version of the story in comparison to the movie. If I see the movie first and I really like the story, imagine how much I’ll love the book, right? Win/win. But reading a book I love and then later seeing a movie based off it has rarely worked out in my favour. 3708. Do you own any audio books? What? >> No. 3709. Why are things the way they are? >> ??? 3710. Do you believe that guns don't kill people and that people kill people? why? >> I mean, both of those statements are some form of true, but putting them together reveals a third truth as well. 3711. What is the best way you can think of to prevent murder? >> I can’t think of any way to prevent murder. 3712. Why is it that in the USA thousands of people are murdered with a gun each year while in Canada only a handful of people are murdered with a gun each year? Sure sounds like the USA is doing something wrong, but what? >> This is not my area of expertise, and I’d advise anyone who was really curious about something like this to not latch onto the first pithy, easy-to-swallow “explanation” you run into. All problems like this, sociological, endemic problems, are far too intersectional and complex to explain away in short terms (especially in an “it’s [x]’s fault” sort of way).

3713. Is there a difference between really being yourself and just being automatic and acting on whims? What? >> I don’t know. 3714. Have you ever strolled through a graveyard? In the dark? >> No, but I would love to. 3715. What is the difference between a good poem and a bad one? >> I don’t have an opinion. I just like some poems and don’t care for most others. 3716. Who really cares about anything? Do you? Do you let it show, all the time? >> I care about some stuff. No, I don’t let it show all the time.

3717. Do you live with passion? >> No, I live with Sparrow. 3718. Do you talk to squirrels? >> Not usually, but it’s not off the table. 3719. Do you kick up leaves? >> Sometimes. 3720. Whuch do you need more: sugar, caffiene, alcohol, drugs, sex, sleep? >> I, personally, need sleep the most out of everything on this list. In fact, that’s the only thing on this list I actually need at all... (well, sugar is arguable, I guess, depending on the form) 3721. What images do you get from the phrase 'human subway'? >> I have no mental image for that phrase, I’m drawing a visual blank. I just... imagined people on a subway, but I’m guessing that’s not the kind of image the phrase is supposed to invoke. 3722. Joe Strummer died. Are you sad? Do you have a fond memory of him to share? >> That’s a musician, right? Yeah, I don’t care. 3723. If you are a guy are circumcised? If you are a girl which do you prefer circumcised or not? >> --- 3724. Does it bother you that in the USA you will be tracked based on what web sites you visit, what online purchases you make and your email will be read by the government? >> It’s somewhat bothersome, yes, to live in what’s basically a surveillance state. But as you can see, I still use the internet pretty heavily, so I’m not as bothered as I could be, I guess. I try to obfuscate my information as best as I can, and that’s all. 3725. Have you ever checked out the online personals? >> I’ve done so in the past. 3726. What do you crave? >> Nothing. 3727. On a scale of 1-10 how tough are you? >> --- 3728. On a scale of 1-10 how tender are you? >> --- 3729. On a scale of 1-10 how good are you? >> --- 3730. On a scale of 1-10 how evil are you? >> --- 3731. What would make a cool coffee table book? >> *shrug* 3732. What's the most interesting conversation piece in your home? >> I have no idea. I’m used to everything in my apartment, I’m not sure what would stand out to a visitor. 3733. If you could get on the mall loud speaker on christmas eve you would say, 'Attention holiday shoppers: >> No. 3734. What are you on the outside of looking into? >> Just the social, interconnected world in general, it feels like. 3735. Are you more of a peculiar purple pie man or a sour grape? >> What? 3736. Who is someone you know should deserve more respect? >> *shrug* 3737. Does the end ever justify violence as a means? If yes, when? >> Probably. I mean, it can’t be the wrong answer all the time. 3738. Care about everything, or care about nothing? Which would be worse? >> Caring about nothing would be worse for me, because caring about something is a direct pipeline to having absolutely any will to live. 3739. Why do so many people on the internet pretend to be pregnant? >> ??????? 3740. Have you ever been the diary Hicks or Brian (same guy, Hicks is the old diary, Brian is the current one)? If yes, what are your thoughts? >> There are so many questions on this survey I flat out do not understand. 3741. What was your new years like in (answer all that you can remember) 1970? 1980? 1990? 1995? 1998? 1999? 2000? 2001? 2002? 2003? 2004? 2005? 2006? 3742. You know the Def Leopard song, 'Love Bites'? Do they actually mean love bites as in it sucks, or lovebites as in hickies? >> I assumed the former. 3743. All you want for christmas is: >> I don’t want anything for Christmas, I’m content to just enjoy the holiday. 3744. If you rearrange the letters in SANTA what words can you make? >> I don’t want to do this. 3745. Say anything: >> is a movie. 3746. Can you feel your life ending one minute at a time? >> Not usually. 3747. Is there something you don't want to talk about? >> Of course. 3748. What is the most offinsive thing you can think of to type here: Who do you think it would offend? >> Why would I do that. 3749. Who would you stop the world and melt with? >> --- 3750. Is there anyone you wish you had never known? >> Nah. I feel that way sometimes just because of the extremely negative effect some people have had on my entire life, but, you know... whatever.

#surveys #survey #5000 question survey #not for reblogging *glare*

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nodesiretogrowup · 5 years ago

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alright, round 2

Quack Pack!:

Damn, they just throw you into the sitcom. I love it. All the overacting and over the top poses/reactions are great

Dewey’s entrance is great

Is the bear the one from the last episode?

“I’ve shenaned-once, I’ll shenan-again” BEAUTIFUL

And then he just one-legged hops up the stairs backwards

I liked the Della and Louie are both wearing green. It’s a cute thing to tie them together

ON THE MOOOOOOOOON

Louie totally did this scheme with Dewey in Della’s place at some point

The fact that Scrooge stops to entertain the idea is great

“We’ve got about...30 mins” I love when shows make allusions to the actual runtime

Beakley and Webby had the BEST ENTRANCE! They must have seen the Lady Gaga halftime show

That dangerous agent stuff is probably gonna come back. Next week is the spy episode so...

“I’m not a spy” I wonder how that worked in the plot of the fake show. Did Beakley do spy stuff? It just doesn’t make sense for a sitcom

From the get-go Huey could tell things were off

WHY DID DONALD HAVE TO MAKE SUCH A SEXY FACE AT THE CAMERA?! I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A CRUSH ON DONALD! CURSE THE DT CREW FOR MAKING DONALD HOT! AND THE SEXY VOICE!

I wish they had just used the Quack Pack intro for the theme this episode

I want Launchpad’s band to somehow exist. I liked the girl’s design a lot

INTRODUCING DELLA!

“QUACK PACK WAS TAPED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.” Oh 90s sitcoms

When you rewatch the episode you can see they foreshadowed the twist. Donald looks directly into the camera an awful lot for someone that doesn’t know there even is a camera

Knox Quackington? Even for a show full of punny names, that is a ridiculous name

His outfit looks more “ace reporter” than “eccentric photographer”

“He’s a spy” Do you think Gene was trying to pretend to be a spy for the wacky misunderstanding of the episode in-universe or he just didn’t know how photographers act?

“YOU’RE SO SMALL! But so STRONG!” Webby has probably killed a man

The screen wipes are GREAT, though that feels more like an anime thing than sitcom. Sitcom scene wipes usually were establishing shots of the house they live in or the city. I’ve watched far too much tv

Louie’s lie speil was great and solid logic

“Time is money, kids, and I’d rather spend time because it’s not money” Inspirational

Donald sure cares a lot about the lighting. How would he know the office had the best lighting, hmmmmm

Something about that hand movement makes me think 90s but I’m not sure why

Dewey doing the dance that the triplets do in Mr. Duck Steps Out is cute

The blank pages made me think about how people can’t read in their dreams

“On the moon we had this old saying-always check your pockets” To be fair, that is good advice

Poor Huey just CAN’T catch a break! First he hallucinates a talking guidebook (THAT BURNS TO DEATH AND COMES BACK AS A GHOST) now reality is SHATTERING BEFORE HIM. Yeah...this season’s gonna do a number on this kid. Hopefully he gets a break next week

“Since when are YOU a hairstylist?” “SINCE THE INTERNET” Now THAT is a quarantine MOOD right there

So we learn later that SHABOOEY is Gene’s catchphrase, is Dewey saying it because he’s being controlled by Gene in that moment?

Donald looks into the camera again

SOMEONE HELP THIS CHILD! HIS WORLD IS SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL

THE FUCKING PEP COMMERCIAL! GOD IT WAS SO 90S AND BEAUTIFUL!! I NEED THE SONG TO BE RELEASED!

Maybe because it was a soda ad in a Disney Afternoon-based show, but the commercial made me think of Coo-Coo Cola from Rescue Rangers

Ducktales-the ONLY Disney show with an in-universe “and you’re watching Disney Channel”

I love Huey dearly but....it’s really fun watching him MCFRICKIN LOSE IT

Dewey can’t throw...because he’s a theatre kid

Donald looks at the camera again

Louie’s wipe DEFINITELY looks like something out of an anime. Is Louie secretly a weeb? I mean he is in a different show

Gene doing his best not to break character. A true thespian through and through

“Yo” *all the ladies cheer*

All of the sudden BAM Launchpad has a band. Is he the Uncle Jesse?

I love that we don’t get to hear them play

“Trapped in a mystical prison that’s constantly laughing at us” I call that my brain :’)

“WHO ARE THOSE LITTLE GUYS?”

“I figured if anyone would crack, it’d be Dewey” Huey seems WAY more likely to snap imho

“But that was from soul-crushing loneliness” Della, you wanna talk about that? With a professional perhaps?

“We need some wacky hijinks!”

“HOW DID I GET HERE? WHY AM I DANCING?” Huey gets SO MANY great lines this episode

And once again we have Donald looking directly into the camera

“Cute girl stuff” Della probably went around with a meat tenderizer as a kid, so it’s normal

Goofy seemed to be aware of the cheering. HMMMMMMM

AAAAAAAAAAAAND.....GOOF TROOP POSE

I’ve been calling DT17 Goofy Chibi Goofy because of how short he is compared to how he normally looks. They probably made him shorter so he and Donald fit in a single frame easier. I know a lot of the boarders/animators for the show have a hard time doing scenes with Launchpad and the kids because of how MASSIVE he is compared to the kids

Goofy knew something was different about Donald. HMMMMMMM

The way Don delivers the line “You CAN help” has a weird inflection, at least to me

I want Goofy thinking to become a meme and people put random sounds over it like those are Goofy’s thoughts

That face-slap was loud

AND DONALD LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA LIKE HE’S ON THE OFFICE

Where was Dewey that whole time? He kind of just...disappears for a bit

Oh Launchpad, you MAJESTIC himbo. And Gene smiles, too cute

“Getting the lid off that peanut butter jar was an adventure” In that household it probably could have

Donald using Louie and Della’s names when he could have just said you broke your mom’s vase or something like that

You look pretty nervous there, Donny-boy

“I don’t mean the last episode” Good, because you kinda lost your mind in the last episode

Wow, flashbacking is TRIPPY

“EVERYONE, TILT YOUR HEAD TO THE LEFT THEN SCRATCH YOUR CHIN” So that’s how you do it

“We should really get back to the plot, I mean problem”

Why don’t you want to flashback, DONALD?

lol Goofy does it too even though he wasn’t present for that event

Gene’s just blankly staring in the background

“REMINISCE HARDER” What you tell yourself as you take a test and are trying to remember what you studied

Yay, the journal is brought up!

“How many lamps did this jerk have?” Excellent question

Webby looks INSANE and Huey FULLY SUPPORTS HER

DONALD HAS PTSD AND NEEDS HELP

I feel like Gene took some MAJOR liberties with Donald’s wish. When I think normal family problems I don’t think of sitcoms. In fact that is the FURTHEST THING from what I think of as normal. Then again Gene is played by Urkel, so that might be his normal

Speaking of, does Gene know that they are all ALREADY in a tv show? How far does this rabbit hole go?

“EVERYONE STOP CATCHPHRASING!” “Is ‘I’m not a spy’ seriously my catchphrase?” You deserve better, Beakley

Of COURSE Dewey’s cool with it...because he’s a theatre kid

DEAR LORD, SOMEONE HELP THIS MAN!

Gene just trying to sneak out. I don’t think he wanted to deal with all that family drama

“HOW MANY MORE SECRETS DOES THIS AGENT HAVE?!” Oh Launchpad. Next week you’ll learn all about secrets and agents and secret agents

Gene feels like what would happen if all of Genie’s pop culture references were limited to the 90s. I LOVE IT

“AGES! The long ago year of 1990!” Well I feel old (born in 91). His eyes after he says it are just AMAZING

Gene being so knowledgeable about what makes great tv is hilarious. Clearly he should have directed the Darkwing movie lol

Seriously though, this really gives us a good look at Donald’s psyche. The guy just wants his family to be safe. But it’s even deeper than that. He wants to be normal, which includes him having a voice that’s easier for people to understand. He’s got a lot of baggage and trauma that needs to be dealt with, mainly how he views himself. Like, fuck

The HURT you see in Della’s eyes when Donald talks about why he likes it there BROKE ME

Huey’s line about adventuring being who they are got me teary eyed

Goofy just shrugs as he walks out

Of course Launchpad was gonna get the multiple dates plot. We’re ALL thirsty for some Launchpad

“Probably at least 3 seasons, plus spinoffs, and I assume they’ll reboot the show eventually.” Lines like this make me think Gene is very aware he is in a tv show

WHY THE FUCK WERE THE AUDIENCE HUMANS?! IS GENE AWARE THAT HUMANS EXIST AND ARE WATCHING THE VERY SHOW HE’S ON?! WHAT IS REAL ANYMORE?!

“HORRIBLE, FLESH-FACED MONSTERS!” Not gonna argue with that

Dewey is SUCH a drama queen

I don’t like how Scrooge called Gene genie. He told you his name, there’s no need to be rude

POGS

Ok the study date girl kinda reminds me of Laura from Family Matters, but that might just be because Urkel is there lol

How old is Launchpad supposed to BE in the sitcom? I don’t think a 30-something is going on many study dates

“You all seem real nice, I feel bad about the mix-up” LAUNCHPAD YOU BEAUTIFUL HIMBO

OH GOD THE LAURA DUCK IN THE BACKGROUND. JESUS

Beakley and Della telling the dates to find themselves and to be independent SLAYED ME. I was NOT expecting that!

“AH, MY PET SNAKE!” “Louie why would you have this?” “THIS IS A POORLY CONCEIVED STORYLINE!” “Eh, everyone’s a critic.” Louie’s right though, DEWEY would be the one with an exotic pet. Or any pet

Tiny Johnny and Randy

WHY ARE THE HUMAN KIDS’ PROPORTIONS SO MUCH WORSE THAN THE ADULTS?! THEY HAVE GIANT FUCKING HEADS!

PUT SOME PEP IN YOUR STEP

The ENTIRE SCENE of Goofy and Donald together was SO HEARTWARMING and something we could NEVER GET before this series! Having Donald and Goofy talk about being parents is WONDERFUL! It’s something we’ve never seen before with these characters. Donald just wants to be normal and Goofy giving a beautiful speech about how there really is no normal so enjoy the candid moments in life. I LEGIT CRIED

OF COURSE Goofy would have the wallet overflowing with pictures, he is THAT DAD. Seeing Max was great. I thought we might see PJ but I SQUEE’D when they showed the picture of Max and Roxanne! I hope they show up for real later on

We get a hint at the OTHER twist here with Goofy actively encouraging Donald to put things back to normal while everyone else that aren’t the Duck family are trying to keep them there

Also, Goofy’s ears have bones

DON’T MESS WITH DONALD’S FAMILY. It will NOT end well for you

Goofy just starts snapping pics, like the true photographer he is

SAX TIME

“LET’S GET QUACKING” It’s no “I AM THE STORM” but still good

AVENGERS CAMERA SPIN

“A lamp in a lamp?” I can’t tell if that is BRILLIANT or lazy. Or BRILLIANTLY LAZY

“YA HA HA HOOOOWIIIIIEEEEE” It wouldn’t be a proper Goofy cameo without the yell

The scorpions got bored and left

“The sound of no one laughing never sounded SO GOOD”

“BEST EPISODE EVER!” Definitely in my top 5

“Gawrsh, that’s sweet.” *does a cute wave* “Wait, Goofy was really here this whole time?”

Ok, but where was Goofy before then? Did Gene poof him away from something important? I WANT ANSWERS!

I bet they had this bit so people wouldn’t freakout like they did with Darkwing

I love Launchpad just being confused and waving at Goofy. He’s never met the dude before so it’s understandable. But I NEED they to have a proper interaction. THING OF THE PROPERTY DAMAGE!

“Magic’s got NOTHIN’ on a big name guest star” YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN A SHOW!

Lowkey want that Goofy lava lamp

The little Maxes flying over Goofy’s head...ADORABLE

PLEASE TELL ME THEY GOT GOOFY HOME SAFE

Donald using his last wish on the picture made me tear up. He could have had ANYTHING. He could have wished for a normal voice. But he used it for a family memory

Donald and Beakley both looked into the camera for the picture. WHILE FIGHTING DEMON HUMANS.

I can’t lie, THIS was the episode I was most excited for even before we got the premiere date. I was excited for the 90s cheesiness. Then we found out Goofy was gonna be in it and I got even more excited. Goofy is one of my faves, especially Dad Goofy. I was expecting it to be balls-to-the-wall insanity nonstop but they got me in the feels too. I want more of this Goofy and Donald. The two of them being single parents who lost someone close to them. Like I said earlier, this episode is in my top 5 for sure.

#ducktales #goof troop #dt spoilers

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