#the final presentation of this meme will probably change but

[trashisstillhere]

Two other characters for the NN AU! Two more who hasn’t changed much but will be shown quite a lot in the story!

First Ninja and Plop Plop!!!

Hell yeah bbyyy the two prime dudes let’s get itttttt (yes. Even did both of First Ninja’s forms even though there isn’t that much change to him cuz why tf not-)

First Ninja now has a scar on his cheek right near his eye that he is now pretty much stuck with, all thanks to a certain incident caused in the past by a certain short ninja who couldn’t control their emotions at the time.

Yeah. NN/Nobu still feels very guilty about it every time they see it, even though Finja has forgiven them already.

Meanwhile Plop Plop hasn’t changed at all, he still looks the same after the incident with the cursed samurai….expect that he may or may have not caught feelings for HER.

Yeah that’s right, you heard me. While he was literally being held hostage, Plop Plop suddenly started catching feelings for the cursed samurai. The one who literally kidnapped him, threatened to KILL HIM. He found it really strange at first but after a while of being held hostage by her side and Honoka was finally freed from the curse, he knew that he was really truly in love with her and he doesn’t regret it one bit!

(yes, in the NN AU, Honoka actually gets to be freed from the curse thanks to the two ninjas, Randy and NN/Nobu, themselves since this took place back in the past where she hasn’t been the curses host for THAT long. Unlike my Rc9gn fanmade story Hidden Danger with Serenity which takes place in the present- still haven’t really explained that story yet but maybe one day hehe.)

Yuuuup. This is pretty much a oc x Canon. If ya ain’t really a fan of that, I suggest you just ignore this-

Now, what happened then now that he has a crush on (post curse (after being freed from the curse) Honoka?….well….

Let’s just say…NN/Nobu, now along with Martin, did some time travel fuckery stuff (again) and tried helping the chubby man with getting closer to his crush and impress her, basically being his wingman’s lol.

Unfortunately, Plop Plop’s started to get incredibly nervous and scared about the possible chance of this date he was having with Honoka becoming a total disaster….

the sorceress got to know what was going on and with some convincing words from Kurai, went to sent out her stank…

Leading him to be stanked, again, but by her this time instead of the sorcerer!

A literal pufferfish, a big one. who, strangely somehow, is able to float and blow out bubbles even when he’s not actually underwater.

As this sea animal, he’s really spiky which could hurt anyone who might get way too close.

While Honoka is completely shocked by what just happened to Plop Plop, NN and Martin has to go and try to find away to help destank him!

Luckily for them, there wasn’t much fighting that had to be done for this one!

And yes, Plop Plop’s feelings actually got returned by Honoka! They ended up together right after that! Yippie! And end up married with 3 kids later on, holy moly-

“What about First Ninja tho? Is he also gonna get stanked?”

The answer is no…..

At least….not YET.

He hasn’t gotten stanked so far, he is a pretty strong ninja that is the first one to have dealt with all the stanking centuries for so damn long so he seems to be able to endure it…

But that doesn’t mean that he will be stank free forever….

You’ll never know if or when it’s actually gonna happen at all….hehehehehe…

—-

The plop plop stank form came from @artistic-harlom-world ! They’re also the one that came up with Plop Plop x Honoka! I did not think of the possibility of them as a couple until they started bringing it up with the scenarios and stuff that was honestly cute and I was like: “you know what? Hell yeah! I fuck with this!”

I’ll probably gonna make NN AU post curse Honoka soon now, I don’t really have a full colored drawing of her yet.. and maybe even their 3 children who knows

So for now, have this meme she’s in, that I made which was only like back in February or some shit hehehe

(This post curse Honoka is kinda a concept I guess?? Idk yet)

this meme basically, fits them too well hehe

Oh! Also have these! Some size comparisons and First Ninja with his own children the other ninjas

[struggling-jpg]

Some Things About Ma Feima (Yanqing) I Learned

And it matters to HSR Yanqing only because some people have had what they heard about Ma Feima affect their views of him even though it really SHOULDN'T imo.

The underlying point I'm trying to get at is that when we hear about parts of a story or characters we aren't familiar with, it'd be fairer to at least try to look into it more before making final judgments, especially if we only hear see memes and short summaries from a person over the internet.

If you're also interested in this topic then this will be very long, so thank you for bearing with me.

And if not, especially because you don't care or don't want to read about 7S/HI3 Yanqing then that's also fair, Ma Feima and Yanqing are different characters, and I hope you have a good day!

(NOTE: CW for the mention/discussion of a notable age gap between characters in the story. There are details surrounding that but I'd rather place this here for convenience. Look out for yourselves and stay safe!)

It's wild how many different versions of what happened in the Seven Swords visual novel, which is understandable due to its lack of official translation + not being complete (as far as I know? I am open to corrections overall). But the amount of details that go missing or are incorrect is notably large and I find this situation interesting. As mentioned, anyone who knows better (content, translation-wise, etc.), please correct me on anything if needed.

I will use some screenshots from the videos that translated the available chapters (1-2 and part of the beginning/prologue of 3, I believe). The translations are not entirely accurate so heck, I might be wrong on stuff too.

From personal experience, there were two things I heard about Ma Feima from HI3 players:

He killed his master, Fu Hua.

He cheated on his wife.

Legit, the first time I encountered these points, it was as simple as that. And I took it at face value because it understandably takes effort to look into this stuff and a lot of players from HI3 were saying it. But over time, curiosity got to me and I wanted to see the context surrounding it, and here's what I found.

However, here are some things to know about Seven Swords and Fu Hua's disciples:

The Seven in order are: Lin Zhaoyu, Su Mei, Jiang Wanxi, Jiang Wanru, Cheng Lingshuang, Ma Feima, and Qin Suyi

The present of the VN is set in 1496 while the assassination of Fu Hua was twenty years prior in 1476.

Ma Feima, despite being the 6th disciple, is the youngest.

Ma Feima's original name was Yanqing but changed it to Feima when he got older.

Qin Suyi, the 7th disciple, is Sushang's mother in both HI3 and HSR.

Lin Zhaoyu, the 1st disciple, and Ma Feima are married.

Onto the points:

He killed his master, Fu Hua.

Yes, he was involved but some attribute the plan to him. BUT he wasn't. The person who formed this plan was Su Mei, the 2nd disciple.

Supposedly, all seven disciples participated though most, if not all of them, were reluctant to do so.

They were all bothered by Fu Hua's, effective but cruel way of dealing with Honkai-infected people (She would wipe out whole villages if even ONE person was infected).

The last straw for the disciples was when Jiang Wanru, the 4th disciple, got infected.

It was in that battle that Ma Feima got the scar on his face.

Also to note, Cheng Lingshuang, the 5th disciple, was the one to get the last hit on Fu Hua.

This is a straightforward point, a lot of people know this stuff, and is probably the point that's more elaborated on. But I still wanted to mention it because, oftentimes, a lot of the credit for the plan, and sometimes the last hit is given to Ma Feima. It erases the actions of other pretty interesting characters and is simply incorrect.

Onto the second point, because this is where things get really interesting and a lot is going on.

2. Ma Feima cheated on his wife.

This has given the idea that he had an affair, cheating on his wife, Lin Zhaoyu

No, he didn't.

It is true that he was in love with Su Mei but she never loved him back and was very clear about it so in a literal-traditional sense, he didn't have an affair.

Emotionally, yeah.

It seems that he had been attached to her since he was a child.

Lin Zhaoyu seems to have always been aware of that and still pursued to marry him.

BIG NOTE: This is where I'm going to cover the age gap stuff.

One thing that I have rarely seen anyone mention is the large gap between Lin Zhaoyu and Ma Feima in age.

It's said that Lin Zhaoyu is 15 years older than Su Mei.

Supposedly, Qin Suyi was around eight years old when Fu Hua found her.

Remember, Ma Feima is the youngest of the disciples.

I wouldn't have harped as hard about the age gap if they met/didn't know each other in Ma Feima's childhood, but the disciples technically grew up together so I found it to be questionable.

For reference:

In order, that's Lin Zhaoyu, Su Mei, and Ma Feima when they were younger.

At minimum and based on all the searching and math, at minimum, Su Mei would be thirteen there, and by the 15-year age gap, Zhaoyu would have been 28 years old.

Now, based on the writing, Zhaoyu and Feima most likely got married in the twenty years between the assassination of Fu Hua and the present of Seven Swords.

The youngest Feima would've been at the assassination was seventeen years old at that point.

For the present of the story, Zhaoyu, and Su Mei are 56 years old and 41 years old respectively. Feima is likely in his thirties.

Like I said, I'm making a big point to this because, like, what the heck. That's MAJORLY concerning even if you tried to reason your way around it. Besides any potential "normal in the era" type stuff and that they got married when they were both adults, it's still a huge yikes, isn't it? Also, I've seen barely anyone mention that, and the ones I did see it from, it was when I was looking into the visual novel.

It's mostly because Yanqing is the one in HSR, he's the character that gets the most eyes. And when people only know him as a "master-killing wife cheater" without any of the context surrounding it, it's a huge shame, albeit fair if people don't want to actively look into it themselves. But because a notable chunk of players have let those perceptions have weight over an unrelated by anything but appearance, old name, and the parallel of (potentially) killing a master.

The circumstances surrounding the two are very different.

HSR Yanqing has Jing Yuan to raise and guide him safely through his early life. He's still very young and while stubborn, has a good head on his shoulders, and has a lot of potential to grow into someone strong and stable.

7S/HI3 Ma Feima on the other hand, is shown to have grown very differently from his younger self.

He is far from enjoying life, and don't get me wrong, he isn't completely innocent.

But he's completely aware and is miserable.

There's a lot more I could cover in terms of Ma Feima, his circumstances, and the things about the characters around them, but my brain is so fried lol. All-in-all, his story alongside the seven, is very...complicated.

My main thing is that, hey, maybe we should be a bit more vigilant when we learn things about characters. Beyond fiction, misinformation spreads very easily because we, understandably, take things at face value. In terms of media literacy, we see it time and time again when characters get reduced to a singular trait or a ship or get heavily misunderstood by the audience because a simplified summary will never do the context justice.

[nyxdreamweaver]

DGAF post:

I swear, I need to yap more about my DGAF au more often but I don't wanna spill some top-secret plot lines I got planned out (or not officially outlined but random ideas mushed together) minus with some memes or shitposts.

Sooooooooooo.. in this case, I'll just yap about what'll be replaced or rewritten to fit the world of DGAF from the original Heroes of Olympus:

1. Obviously, a lot of stuff written about Camp Jupiter and New Rome will be changed like giving more of the fauns there a purpose rather than all of them being homeless. Some can still live the free spirit lifestyle like Don.

I'm also adding in the Vestal Virgins into play because they have the biggest part in New Rome- keeping the fire/heart of Rome alive. They'll probably be referenced in TCOTQ later on or in smaller works of mine. (if I actually have the energy to do so)

And thanks to the help of @f0xgl0v3 I'm managing to rework the CJ military system with new ranks that'll change the story.

2. Giving more life to the side characters instead of being just plot points like Gwen dying being used to show that something is up with the underworld or Bryce being used to deepen the bonds of Nico and Reyna.

Of course, if you saw the little blurb in my AO3 folder thingy, my OCs will come to make an impact both from the past and present timeline mapped out.

3. Replacing Octavian as the secondary antagonist with an oc of mine. This was a thought I had for the longest time since I started this because Octavian wasn't written well enough to be seen as a true antagonist OR even as a villain, he's just treated as a joke and even DIED a joke.

So replacing Octavian wasn't the hardest thing to do. I'm obviously not scraping Octavian as a whole, rather I have other plans for him.

Now, for the new oc antagonist, I have in mind, his name is Kato Belvedere, a son of Venus and a distant legacy of Mercury. He'll have to replace Reyna as Praetor and play a big part as a troublesome enemy towards our dear protagonists in SON, MOA, a little bit in HOH, and BOO, along with this bonus book I have planned out showing Roman's point of view during DGAF. It happens in between MOA and HOH. All I can share about him is that he's nicknamed as 'Angel' and that he's killed/will kill people.

(I apologize to every single Reyna fan reading this, I need him as Praetor to show his pure evilness. But! I got something good for the badass fighting queen herself later on!)

I love him so much, my evil gay bastard.

4. Taking out Percy AND Annabeth from the Eight. (my version of the Seven)

Nothing against them, but for the protagonists of DGAF to shine, Percy and Annabeth have to return to Camp Half-Blood. With their skill sets, I feel like they should be dealing with the looming threat of the next demigod Civil War AND Gaia’s army taking in many nature demigods, satyrs, nymphs, etc from Camp.

Don't worry though, I have a small arc in the works for the two.

5. Finally, the demigod civil war. If anyone has heard me rant about this, you would know that I despise the fact that the Civil War and Confederacy are Canon to the PJO. It's very icky to think about, especially since I'm a previous student who loved taking African American Studies in school. (Shout out to Mr. Parks, the coolest white guy I know)

So of course, I changed the lore and moved my new version of the war into the 1880s, which was hinted at in TCOTQ earlier.

[kinokoshoujoart]

mini post: rock being a meme in response to the blue feather in AnWL - WL for girl

fig. 1: cool collected sane and popular guy who can’t stand the idea of being tied down by marriage and stuff

So for AnWL Natsume rendered Rock’s response to the blue feather simply as “Aha!!” which doesn’t even capture 10% of how insane he sounds in JP, especially given that he Definitely Isn’t Into Marriage And Stuff

(…unleeeeesssss?)

(screenshots from taison_ch’s playthrough of AnWL, which is extremely funny and i highly recommend it)

When you present him with the Blue Feather, Rock screams “KITAAAAAAAAAAAA!” which is literally “IT’S HEEEEEEEEEEEERE!” but a feeling of like. “it’s finally happening!!!!!!” like. a pretty mid 2000s memey dying-of-excitement for-something-long-awaited sort of thing to say. It became a Meme Phrase because of actor Yuji Oda yelling it in Sante FX eyedrop commercials in the 90s, if you want to hear the kind of energy Rock likely exuded out loud:

And he reprised his role for the 20 year anniversary!

I’m not sure how you’d localize it in English in 2005… One suggested modern translation was YAAAAAASSS! which… yeah, matches the idk manic dated-meme cringefail wife vibe

also, it doesn’t actually appear in the final version of the remake, since the blue feather response was changed for everyone to give you a yes/no option, but it’s still leftover in the game’s files! and xseed rendered it “Oh, man, FINALLY!” according to Rock’s dialogue file)

Anyway, i wonder if it’s the same energy as doing this (there’s probably a better example)

[worra-bei]

OKAY, hear me out before reading the text below: this blog of mine is just a place, where I can see my progress in many of things, and writing in english is one of them. the deal is - english is not my native language, and my way of writing can look very bad.

if you decide to read my little sketch, firstly - good luck; and secondly, if when you see some dumb mistakes - feel free to comment because learning stuff is fun!

(also I'm like probably need to do a disclaimer or something like this, but I don't know how :D)

well, it's just fluff (?), without any triggers and just something that was in my head for a while. also I'm using the real names on the dream team in this text. actually, all my thoughts slowly became a whole au (this is the right word for it, right?), so if I will be really confident, maybe I write something else....

UGH this is again a super long text, I'M SORRY.

imagine that you've been friends with «dream team» for an almost a three years.

originally you were an employee on a mr. beast team, something that others would call an errand boy (well, errand girl in your case). but despite your small position in a whole team, everyone was simply in love with you. you just were a little shining star, that everybody adored. and beside that, you knew how to do your job. and by one of these hard-working days, you've meet sapnap.

there were a small pause between shooting for a new challenge video, where nick was one of the judges, and it happend that you both had a chance to chat for a little bit. you two find in each other someone nice, almost like a soulmate. when you too start to speak about different topics, including hobbies and favorite things, something just clicked. after a shooting, y'all just spontaneously decided to go for a walk. you both just can't stop talking, and after a hour or so, you find yourself on a basketball court. the day slowly becoming an evening, there only a few people around, and you two with beer cans just lazily playing basketball.

and after that day your life just start change entirely.

after sapnap you've met sunshine with name karl, and then dream, george, even quackity. the boys was also amazed with your warm personality and you all pretty fast become great buddies. you start to show in theirs instagram photos, twitter posts, stories. you've slowly become an important member of their group. staying for a movie night, cook for them, give a ride on your car, making birthday presents, spending time in video games, and eventually joining the streams.

to be honest, chat was kinda aggressive by the first time and full of comments like "omg why are they even let this girl to join, she's just ruining all the fun" and bunch of other not-so-nice words. guys were super sorry that you have to deal with all this hate, but you honestly won't making a big deal out of that. you just continue to show up from time to time, and slowly but surely people realize that your "boring" side was actually a "super caring" side.

and only after this realization everybody understand how cool actually your character resonates with sometimes childish characters of the rest of the group. the memes start to full the internet, boys start jokingly addresses to you like "sweet mother of ours", and you were very audible and visible cringing at the name, but they're just unstoppable.

and after a two and a half years of your friendship, after george finally gets a visa and clay does a face reveal, four of you guys finally moved together.

and that simply become a golden era of your friendship.

you spend mornings with george, when you get ready for work and this man with no sleep schedule gives you company. at the moment that you start making a breakfast, this man just magically appears with his cute puppy eyes, and after the few times when your plate was getting empty for about a fifteen seconds, you just start to cook for you two. imagine: dark room with only one working lamp, you both eating some puffy pancakes, drinking something warm, chatting and silently giggling. it's a little foggy outside, and almost absolute silence. sounds really comforting, does it not? after you finished eating, you give george a small kiss on his head, maybe mess up with his hair and beg him to get some rest.

the days fly by really fast, when you making stuff with dream. join the stream for a moment? sure. what about the new idea for the video/song? tell me everything. maybe you want to go to the shopping together? get in my car, clay. you freely can go to his room when silence in your head gets too loud. often you just knock on his room door shyly, and ask if you can sit on the bed while dealing with work. and he never refuse. also you absolutely love to draw him in the moments when he really focused on something, maybe make him a few more knitted hats or something cute, but stupid. and he absolutely melts at every single touch. you just need to tell him that everything is okay, and he always can find a support in his friends. and he's so thankful for this.

and finally, you want the evenings to never end because you spend them with sapnap. he don't want to show it, but you just see it anyways - he cares about you. of course, that doesn't mean that other guys don't care, but sapnap do it in his own way and you really appreciate it. almost every evening he casually walks into your room, and if he sees how tired you look because of the work, all his appearance softens immediately. with his silent, raspy voice he asks how do you feel. and if your answer not satisfying enough, nick just casually says that he's going to wait you in the car. and that means - this evening going to be awesome. you both have no clue what are you going to do tonight, but that's just more fun, right? basketball court, just like in the old times? eating junk food in the car, while chatting and shouting the songs? skateboarding park, when nick trying to impress you, but just stupidly falls and now you need to bandage all his wounds, while you just can't stop from laughing? (he's trying to act offended, but inside he's all fluff, believe me).

but sometimes you decide to hang out in the house. sapnap picks up some random film, brings more pillows and blankets, you cook (or order) snaks, and you both just simply chilling together after a long day. and I don't need to tell that almost every time the rest of the group decide to join. maybe it's even spontaneously become a movie night? who knows. you can't even blink, and it's 3am already, the third movie silently playing on the back, all the boys sleeping and barely audibly snore. and only you stubbornly want to wait until the credits. and the movie finally ends, you trying to clean up a little, while you judge the main character in your mind. when you come back to the sleeping kingdom, you can't help but smile at the view of three big men just calmly sleeping, and unconsciously trying to hug something. you definitely take a few photos, and when you want to go to your room, suddenly dream wakes up and mid-sleep reach up to you, whispering that he want to cuddle. your heart was not ready for this, and you just can't say "no" to him.

and when you slowly falling into sleep, while warm big hands carefully hugs you, you just think to yourself - oh, how extremely lucky you are.

well, maybe you can skip the next day at work.

...you can't miss how nick and george all morning going to scream that they're absolutely-for a hundred percent-for sure-definitely didn't hug each other all night.

[madsworld15]

Why Queer as Folk (2000) Was Seemingly Forgotten

An analysis by a professional TV Critic

Let me start off by saying the initial run of Queer as Folk and its current resurgence can be represented by this mantra by Brian Kinney: There are two kinds of straight people. The ones who hate you to your back and the ones who hate you to your face.

The initial run of QAF coincides with the first half of the statement: hate behind your back.

So, recently I started thinking about how in the early 2000s, Queer as Folk seemed to be on a trajectory of going down in TV history. Then, seemingly just as quickly, people stopped talking about it. So much so that by the time I finished watching it in 2009, I only got a few good months of chatter on social media platforms (Twitter mostly) with other fans before it just stopped being talked about in a wide-reaching manner.

I will even admit that I stopped thinking about the show not long after that and wasn't reminded of its full impact on my psyche until late last year when it was back on easy-access streaming due to Showtime's merge with Paramount+.

But why is it that this show is only just now starting to pick up speed again? (I'm talking fan cams on TikTok, memes, etc.)

I have some theories about all of this, so buckle in.

To really get a grasp of what Queer as Folk was working against when it aired on Showtime -- a paid subscription channel back before the days of an overabundance of streaming services, you have to look at the climate we were living in. Also, how inaccessible a paid TV channel was for most people.

So, in the early 2000s, life in the United States, and probably the world, but I'm not fully educated enough to comment on that, wasn't the greatest for those in the LGBT+ community. It would be years before the President of the United States would pass legislation that Gay Marriage be legal nationwide.

Employers were able to fire people for being gay, and the employees couldn't fight it. Gay parents had very little in terms of rights to their own children; in fact, some couldn't even adopt the kids they wanted to because there were no laws against discrimination.

All of these things are depicted left and right throughout Queer as Folk, with Ted getting fired from his job, Michael being extremely closeted at his job, and Melanie not being afforded rights to Gus because of adoption regulations during that time.

So, for our community to receive a show that was by us for us, we were overjoyed. There was something so resolutely refreshing about the unapologetic manner in which these characters were allowed to present themselves and live their lives. And while the show gets dinged today for its lack of racial diversity, we were glad to see queer people represented in a variety of ways -- we got to see the Emmett's and Justin's of the world being friends with the Ted's and Michael's and Brian's.

Not only that, these characters got to love who they wanted, however, they wanted, and whenever they wanted. Characters like Michael and Emmett could go from wanting to freely fuck whoever to finding that special person and settling down. We got to see Ted find the right guy at the wrong time over and over and over again until it was finally the right guy at the right time.

But most of all, we got to see a character like Brian, who, in the hands of a straight person, might've actually gone "soft" and "domestic" just by being with Justin. Instead, we got to see him never change his opinion about what he wanted, but still finding love in his own way.

However, not long after the show ended (like around 2008), the climate in the United States started to shift more towards open acceptance of the queer community. So, people stopped needing an escape from the hardships of real life because things seemed to be on an upward trend toward love and equality. Therefore, Queer as Folk sort of fell off the radar of viewers because we didn't want more of the gritty, complicated, messy queer stories. We wanted our stories to be happy and lighthearted.

(Keep in mind I am speaking in terms of general viewers. There are always exceptions to the rule)

Then, in 2016, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States, and suddenly, it was totally okay for people to openly mock us and hate us.

This is where the resurgence of QAF falls into the second half of Brian's mantra: hate us to our face.

Around 2016/2017, people started talking about this show again. And the love and fervor for it has only increased exponentially over the last few years, especially with the onset of COVID-19 and the merging of Showtime/Paramount+. Both events made the public more aware and able to access the show.

Now more than ever, we need something that isn't afraid to show queer people as we are, not as the media and those outside our community paint us. We need to feel like there is a media format that understands what we are like when we are with our closest friends. We say things that, in today's world, would probably get us canceled, and we judge those around us and have very biased opinions about certain people.

Brian Kinney's unapologetic "I am who I am and fuck anyone who tries to change me" attitude is the exact level of strength and courage we wished more people right now had. His biased, but not illogical, opinion of non-queers needs to be loud. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops because we now live in a world where we are hated just for existing as we are.

Even our rights that had been given to us just a decade ago are being stripped away from us once more. So, the fight for love and equality continues, and the hope that Queer as Folk gives us is important now more than ever.

So, people are seeking this story out and are begging others in the world to watch it and understand that we have always been here. We've always been these flawed but loving characters. We deserve to be heard.

In 2022, Peacock tried its best to create a redo of the series but failed miserably. But why? If we are desperately looking for queer media that is gritty, unapologetic, and real, then why didn't we latch onto this latest iteration?

The answer is simple. This new version was great at creating a more diverse image of the characters created for the Showtime series but failed to understand that recreating things almost note for note with entirely new characters isn't what we want.

It would've been better if the show stuck to broad-stroke themes and made these characters and their experiences their own. Queer today is different than queer in the early 2000s, just like queer in the 2000s was different than queer in the 1980s. Trying to put queer 2000s stories into a queer 2020s world isn't going to work.

We need to embrace this resurgence of Queer as Folk (2000) and give it the love and attention it should've always had. Perhaps finally giving its rightful due in the eyes of the history of queer media. Does it have its issues as the world changes? Absolutely, but we also can't sit here and deny the insane level of impact this show had on the queer media we now know and love.

We wouldn't have casually queer shows like Schitt's Creek, Heartstopper, and Our Flag Means Death if Queer as Folk hadn't broken down our walls and made us realize that we can demand stories for queer people by queer people.

[myragewillendworlds]

I’m a 18 year old transexual male, have known about it since I was about 10 or 11, and have been struggling with a bad dysphoric episode this past month, so forgive the irrationality and how stupid this may sounds.

Lately I have been frequenting some ‘truscum’ forums online and, though I agree with most of their premises (main point being ‘you need sex dysphoria to be trans), I’ve found some ideas that have been making me feel ‘less of a man’. Though I’m not generally feminine in posture and habit, I’m highly introverted [bordering on shyness] and have some ‘girly’ habits and likes, such as still liking stuffed animals even at my age [please, don’t take it as infantilizing myself] and enjoying making colorful notes, with nice pens and nice titles as well. My friend group is mixed gender-wise, but the majority is made cis female. For some of these ‘truscum’ individuals, this makes me merely GNC, and though I am sure my dysphoria is real and I am caving the path towards my medical transition, it does make me feel weirdly insecure and intensifies, somehow, the dysphoria.

I’ve seen you are somewhat of an specialist when it comes to topics like this, therefore I wanted to have your insight, if possible.

Thank you for reading this and forgive me for any mistakes regarding the English language, it isn’t my mother tongue.

It took perhaps mere months before the word "truscum" began being used by underage morons who had neither the maturity nor the general desired level of intelligence to be speaking for an entire community in trying to convince outsiders of its need to be taken seriously. And it was a meme word before then too, one that I always warned against using for the very reasons it almost immediately became a problem. Point being: it means nothing to me that someone calls themselves "truscum", other than that it makes them sound like an immature asshole. I have never used that label.

That being said–

I don't think behavior alone makes someone transsexual or not transsexual. Sex dysphoria does.

The only relevant question is: do you experience sex dysphoria because of the sex of your body? And because people have severely watered that definition down over the years as well, here are some follow-up questions; which, no, aren't specifically covered in this wording in the DSM or ICD, but any diagnostician worth their salt would ask you:

Is the level of distress you experience life-debilitating?

Have you experienced this at least since the onset of puberty?

Looking back at your childhood, can you (with hindsight) recognize that your male gender identity was in fact present then as well? For example: did you feel a familiarity/kinship towards male family members, did you prefer playing with boys, did you prefer boy clothing/toys/items, did it feel natural to identify yourself with male characters, did you feel you didn't belong in groups with girls/women, etc.

Does a future in a female body seem impossible, surreal and/or utterly agonizing and miserable to you?

Do you experience sex dysphoria over all your natal sex characteristics; meaning, including the actual sex organs? There is no such thing as a transsexual male that lacks dysphoria over having female sex organs. Then you're just not male, therefore not transsexual.

Finally: are there no alternative explanations that could believably explain your dysphoric feelings, such as relevant trauma or mental illness? Do you wish to transition for the sole sake of changing your sex, and not for any ulterior goals or beliefs possibly linked to trauma or mental illness?

You should be able to answer 'yes' to these questions if you are transsexual.

The things you're mentioning aren't typical in guys your age, no, but those are taught things, not biologically innate things. Chances are, if you were raised as a boy, you likely wouldn't have done or enjoyed these (as much) as they would probably not have been encouraged, either by your parents or your peers. On the other hand, if you had been born male and still had these interests, you probably would've ran into the exact same sentiments from your peers that this makes you less of a guy. You'll find that many cisgender men have similar experiences with having their masculinity questioned.

Most transsexual people, I would say, do 'outgrow' most of these social behaviors as they fully embrace and live as their desired sex (and HRT may play a role in these changes as well). Perhaps you will too, when/if you start HRT and grow up into a man. Or perhaps you'll be a man who likes coloring pencils. It's hardly the deciding factor. Not like men have to trade in their cocks the moment they're ever found guilty of pulling out a glittery marker.

[loveanddeepplot]

Hey there! I have written for OCs in various MMOs over the years, and never really gotten into fandom - only participating from afar - until now. Love and Deepspace has engaged me on an intellectual level... and on some other levels too... let's be honest. But when I'm not digging into Chinese culture or astrophysics, thanks to LaDS, I'm playing things like WoW or FFXIV. (Or other otome, like Ikemen Villains.) I'm an anime enjoyer, as well, if not as well seasoned in the genre as some. I'm not full on friends in LaDS yet, so I figured I'd toss my hunter number out, as well - 82002062245

Expect memes, fanfic, images, art, and thoughtful lore conjecture - as well as posts explaining/exploring the Chinese cultural references being made, when I come across such materials! As I collect useful lore information along the way, I'll try and compile the most relevant things I find on this post, so expect it to be a WIP for a long while! (Suggestions for useful guides/lore are welcome, as well.) Hidden Achievement Guides:

Official LaDS FB Group post (with a few, not all of them - but a useful explanation on how to get the 5% health wins)

A Reddit list (This is probably the most comprehensive list I've seen)

Nicknames That Trigger Voicelines (Reddit)

Masterlist of Moments posts triggered in Photo-booth (Reddit) - Certain specific combinations of clothing/background/pose will trigger a Moments post from your LI - here's ALL the known ones at present! (More posts = more affection!)

Lore Resources:

Angel's Corner - Angel runs a Youtube channel all about exploring LaDS lore, and the ways in which Chinese culture is interwoven into the story. I'll link the major videos from her channel that I recommend in particular, below - but I recommend going through various myths with her as she explores the lore, as well!

EVER holds all the strings in Love and Deepspace | let’s yap about it

Love and Deepspace & Mr Love Queen’s Choice: SAME UNIVERSE?! Let's yap about the connections - HIGHLY RECOMMEND, if you're a big lore nerd!!

MC Lore Deepdive (a lore spiral & yap sesh) - Highly recommended you watch the previously linked video above, first, then watch the one below.

Sylus’s Master Plan & MC’s Origin EXPLAINED | Death & Rebirth Breakdown - Recommended to watch the above video first.

Other LaDS Resources:

LaDS (Re)Translation Project - CN > EN Fan Translation Project Love and Deepspace. ( Having read their Sylus - Beyond Cloudfall - re-translation? I highly recommend this project for those who want more context! Many nuances are changed... sometimes seemingly for no reason.)

Cloudfall Myth's Chinese Cultural Context - This is tied to the Sylus re-translation project for Cloudfall; the cultural context sheds a LOT of light on everything in this myth - even that bit about whether or not they were dreaming!

Stellactrum Theorizing - A Reddit discussion breaking down everyone's colors, and debating their meanings. Nothing official, but it's excellent food for thought.

Abyssal Chaos:

Final Farewell (All LIs) - Reddit Compilation of how to obtain all Final Farewell Endings.

Finding Tobias (All LIs) - Reddit Compilation of how to obtain all Finding Tobias Endings

Combat Related Resources:

Which Protocore and Build to Prioritize? Here’s What To Do (YT)

Combat Guide, Weapon & Companion Combos, Tips & Tricks (YT)

Beginner's Guide to Combat (YT)

Ultimate Rewards Guide Without Spending $$ (30+ WAYS)

[justreb-blog]

Every event in our life brings along a change in ourselves and in our everyday routine. Wether small or big.

As aware as I can be about it, I’m always very surprised when I finally manage to notice how many things have changed since the last time I’ve done a reality check. And often the differences I find really amuse me.

The last time it happened it was shortly after I moved to study, all “fault” of a colleague I became friends with.

She’s a girl I really get along with and with whom I share many interests. A topic she’s quite informed about is ADHD.

As time went by she began paying attention to some behaviours of mine, until she said: “You know, you probably have ADHD”.

Groundbreaking discovery!

Now me and her have fun finding always new behaviours to add to the list of “symptoms”. The more elemnts that come up, the more I realize that I may be a textbook case. (I’m available for eventual studies — as a student, paid only, please).

I find that absolutely hilarious, it’s almost becoming a meme; moreover, knowing about this possible condition of mine helps me to understand different sides of me and several present and past events in my life, for instance the problems in school because “the student is lazy and doesn’t study”.

Now the afternoons spent sitting down, “trying to study” because I couldn’t focus make sense. Or the millions (not quite a hyperbole) of projects started and hardly finished because I didn’t have enough time anymore.

The only thing I have to make peace with is that I often try to live the day the way a neurotypical would, which, with these premises, isn’t exactly feasible for me. I’m punctually disappointed by my being unable to carry out tasks the way I “should”.

Help.

Thanks to @no-white-dress for the translation and the photo

[stillness-in-green]

Favorite Characters of 2023

Saw this meme template by @limayde and had to drop anything more productive because I Love Character Memes. I tried to focus on characters who particularly signified 2023 in fandom for me, not necessarily just my favorites in any given fandom, and certainly not my favorites of all time! So consider it a reasonable representation of what I read/was reading/was still thinking about last year.

(I'm also relatively sure I could fill this out entirely with BNHA characters, but if I were to do that, it would be with the goal of representing how much I was thinking about said characters in terms of Fix-It Fic(s) Brainstorming, rather than simply how much I like them. Yoichi would be prominent in the former and not present at all in the latter, for example.)

Anyway, after much painstaking cropping, here it is!

(A full list of who all these people are and a blurb apiece of my thoughts on them, as well as the meme template, can be found beneath the cut!)

Most Favorite Blorbo(s) of 2023

Lord Glück and Macht of El Dorado (Sousou no Frieren) – Macht's was the arc that turned me around on Frieren's treatment of demons—he’s so interesting, and so tragic, totally set in his ways while also yearning to change them.  Glück, meanwhile, is so devoted to his word, blunt in his assessment of Macht’s character but wholly sincere about trying to give him the knowledge and environment he needs to change.  My BF asked me for the spoiler-free version of what I liked about them, and the best I can sum it up as is, “A mutual acceptance despite the parts of each other they can’t understand,” and, “They’ve made each other promises that go all the way to end, to the goddamn end.”  Thirty years of that!  I am once again begging on my hands and knees for Frieren to get a second season, and also, if the universe really loves me, to end the first season with a tease for the Golden City.[1]

(I cheated a bit here; the central square is intended for a single supreme fave, not center-mounting one's OTP. I am, however, entirely incapable of picking one of those two above the other. Also, putting them both there does bring the character count to a nice even 50.}

1: A second tease.  There’s actually been one already, a reference to Macht’s enchanted jewelry, squirreled away in some on-screen text—one of the anime’s many additions to the background detail compared to the manga.

12 Characters vs. 12 Months In A Year. Coincidence? Probably!

(Starting at the top left corner and moving clockwise.)

Shigaraki Tomura (BNHA) – 2023 was the year Shigaraki Tomura got his groove back, thank heavens.  While he didn’t get much material in which to speak his own mind—really just Chapters 379 and 411, a full year apart (the latter didn’t officially come out until just a few days ago; we just got the leaks a week early).  We’ll see how he holds up going forward, but even those few scenes effortlessly demonstrate just how profound a waste of time handing AFO the reins to the end game was.  Here’s to not letting Heroes off the hook in the new year!

Iguchi Shuuichi/Spinner (BNHA) – Spent a lot of 2023 worrying about this guy.  Still am worried about this guy.  But him turning the tides of the war at the end of 2022 shifted the whole course of the battle, and new we’ve got Shigaraki invoking The Horizon to finally give us incontrovertible evidence that Shigaraki and Spinner have talked about more than just video games!  2024 is shaping up Spinaraki!

Yotsubashi Rikiya/Re-Destro (BNHA) – I provide fanart for this man because, of course, he was in the actual canon not at all last year, absent a single flashback panel from Hose Face, not at all making up for what a caricature that character was otherwise.  All the good Re-Destro content I was getting last year was thanks to @nickfoo’s wonderful, wonderful fanart of him.  Thanks for continuing to give this guy love, foo! (full art here)

Geten (BNHA) – Himura backstory reveal!  And that revelation accounted for the only fanfic I posted last year at all, as well as being super satisfying in terms of largely clearing Todoroki Enji of the responsibility for the heteromorphobic microaggressions perpetrated by certain of his children, as well as giving us some more hints about Geten and Re-Destro’s relationship.  Exquisite. (Now just let him have something to say that isn’t mostly there to Contextualize Dabi.)

Vamirio/Anne from Management  (Helck) – I reread Helck last year in celebration of its anime, and just to reiterate this again, Vamirio and her determination lead her to make firm stands and fiery declarations about her combat role and priorities that Deku has never even fuckin’ thought about.  Vamirio a best; vote Vamirio for Head of Management.

Samuel Murphy +Hal and Nobu (Canis: The Speaker) – Sam’s my favorite of another inseparable trio, probably because, at least as an adult, he’s the most vulnerable—not simply because he lacks the firearms or goons that his partners’ positions allow them to call to hand, but also because of his struggles with insomnia.  Whip-smart, observant, and well-spoken, and I always have had a preference for the smart ones.

Jasper (Steven Universe) – I started reading @faelapis’s post-canon Jasper exploration fic Something Better last year and absolutely fell in love with it.  It reminded me all over again how much I love Jasper, and how much I wanted a story that gave her all the time she needed to change.

Somei Yoshino (Yakuza Fiancée) – Last year saw the anime announcement and Yoshino’s totally amazing bathtub fight with Azami, which I guess there are cowards out there who didn’t like?  RIP to them but I’m different, I guess!  I’ll watch Yoshino break her terrible suitors’ fingers any time!

Wolfgang Grimmer (Monster) – Reread the back half of Monster last year solely because I love Grimmer and wanted to read his material again.  A perennial favorite, manga and character alike.  I love a man held together with scotch tape, stitches and good intentions.

Boutarou the Pirate (Golden Kamuy) – Probably not my actual favorite character in the series, but I finally got to see him in anime form last year after a maddening wait thanks to the delay in 2022.  Shiraishi’s best ship and a feral merman (look at the way he uses his hair and tell me I'm wrong) that someone unaccountably let walk around on dry land. A+ character.

Sailor Cosmos (Sailor Moon) – Speaking of characters with a huge wait on seeing them in the anime..!  God, I’ve wanted anime Sailor Cosmos since high school, and I’m thrilled to finally get her (and the merch that would accompany her).

Mitaka Asa (Chainsaw Man) – I read the first half of Chainsaw Man a while back, largely on the basis of @robotlesbianjavert’s enthusiasm, and while I enjoyed it well enough, particularly Denji’s assorted travails, I never got super invested in it because, not having to wait week to week for releases, there was never really enough time to get attached to most characters before they got unceremoniously offed.  Whether it’s the week-to-week wait or just that I like Asa as a character more, she’s really done the job of getting me interested in the series.  I love this loser failgirl and I want only the best for her; while I doubt that’s what she’ll get, at least I can watch her torture logic to make sick weapons and have affecting scenes about her own crippling inadequacy issues in the meantime.

36 Others

(As before, starting on the top left and moving clockwise through the BNHA Zone.)

Scarecrow/Spinner’s Number 2 (BNHA) – Scarecrow’s big speechifying moments would have been back in autumn of 2022, but I still loved him more than enough in 2023 for him to make this grid.  He was reduced to a shallow caricature and still had to get knocked off a roof because no one could actually out-argue him, and through all of that unendurable authorial laziness, his potential still shines through for me.  Stan the MLA, MLA 5Evah.

Toga Himiko (BNHA) – The only Villain whose Hero foil plotline is working for me on any level, though a lot is hanging on whether or not she, y’know, lives.  She definitely should have gotten to stab the bejeezus out of Hawks, and Ochaco should definitely go on the run with her once Apple Cheeks realizes that the HeroAca justice system could not possibly be relied upon to do anything other than throw Toga in a hole for a few years before executing her.

Gentle Criminal (BNHA) – The only redeemed villain whose regard for Deku functions at all thematically.  Lady N’s return is hogswash on multiple levels, but I will defend Gentle’s without reservation.

Kunieda + Aoyama Yuuga (BNHA) – Consider these two to be a stand-in for all the thinking I did last year about Fix-It Fic scenarios for this whole final arc.  For example, Kunieda in the canon speaks far too knowledgeably both about and to Aoyama for them to be total strangers, so why not plant some seeds for their confrontations earlier?  I ask the reader to consider this:

In a version of the Edgy Deku arc that allowed the rest of 1-A to get out into the world to help out with relocation efforts, they one day come across a scene of dread: a neighborhood full of corpses and Kunieda’s flowers.  Aoyama has a noticeably shaken reaction, which he plays off as just horror to his similarly horrified classmates, but the truth is that he’s got prior history with Kunieda—AFO didn’t plop corpses in front of his parents to intimidate them (because that’s ham-handed and silly), but bodies were still involved.  They’d turn up buried in the family's fancy gardens sometimes, always heralded by those vivid red-black flowers…

Frieren (Sousou no Frieren) – I was relatively neutral on the title character until the anime came out and I had to suffer through The Discourse about her attitude towards demons (arguments on both sides tending to be poorly considered and ignorant, both of canonical details and real-world relevance).  That made me a bit more defensive of her, but even setting my contrarianism aside, I was also very pleased with how she navigated the manga’s most recent arc.[2]  She’s maybe the first character I can think of who I have actively wanted to write Asexual Representation fic for, if only because my answer to, “Does she Romantically Love Himmel?” is much more complex than just saying, “No, she only saw him as a friend,” or, “Yes, and now she’s going to be sad about her Tragically Lost Love for the rest of her life and we need to write all the fix-it fics about that.”

2: She wants to go home!  Her feelings for Himmel, whatever they are, are of less importance to her than going home!  Despite everything we know about how she perceives time, she still values her “now” more than her lost “then”!  My gloating aside, though, I was far more affected by the sword scene than I was the wedding attire or the near kiss.  Being trapped in a wedding illusion?  Trite, overplayed.  Being trapped in a wedding illusion yet still being able to wrap your hands around your partner’s arm and faithfully guide them into drawing the sword neither of you can perceive?  Now that’s intimacy!

Heiter (Sousou no Frieren) – While I had little overall use for the aforementioned most recent arc of Frieren, I did very much enjoy my favorite member of the Hero Party getting a moment to demonstrate what being The Priest Of The Party That Defeated The Demon King actually means in practice.  Grausam being unable to put him down with an illusion?  Being the only one who could defend his downed companions?  The sheer level of trust he has in Himmel?  A little bit of vulnerability where he’s bare seconds away from getting gibbed by Grausam?  Heiter is the member of the party that we get the least amount of in on: Sein didn’t stay with the party long enough to serve as a point of comparison, and despite Heiter raising Fern, she didn’t assume his role in the new group, like Stark did Eisen’s, nor do her reminiscences about him get anywhere near the amount of screentime that Frieren’s do of Himmel.  So for real, you guys, Chapter 118 was so good.

Edward (Shadows House) – *bangs fists on table*  WORST BOY WORST BOY WORST BOY!!  Anime Edward is pants, but Manga Edward is where it’s at, always keeping Kate scrambling, always coming out on top of his maneuverings against his peer group rivals, just flappable enough that his victories doesn’t look effortless, and engaging enough that his smugness feels earned rather than intended to turn the reader against him.  I have no idea how the story is going to deal with the adult shadows, who are after all still just as brainwashed and wronged by Grandfather’s workings as the kids are!  If anything, they’re worse off, having already been manipulated into losing the “faces” they must once have loved dearly.  Thus, while Kate and her allies certainly approach the conflict with a very Us vs. Them, Adults=The Enemy mentality, the screentime Edward’s own affairs get, fully independent of how they intersect with Kate’s, along with an avowed desire to improve the House that parallels Kate’s, make me hopeful that the authors have something a little more nuanced in mind than, “Free the current victims by wiping out all the previous ones.”

Melinda Desmond (Spy x Family) – The main cast are all perfectly fine, but Melinda is interesting.  Super curious to find out more about the Desmond family dynamics, and I love Melinda bouncing around with Yor. (I swear, though, judging by the collective response to the most recent chapter, the fandom is going to turn me into a Donovan Apologist yet. Only one member of that family has visible scars suggesting brain surgery, folks!!)

Anti/Knight/Gridknight (Gridman Universe) – Always my favorite single character from both Gridman and Dynazenon, and he was characteristically great in the movie as well.  His scene with Akane at the end was only my second favorite beat because, while it’s wonderful emotionally cathartic (more fanservice like this, please!), it’s also kind of muddled thanks to the idea of Gridman!Anti and Dynazenon!Knight being two separate entities. Churlish to hold that against it, though, when it's so heartfelt.

Minami Yume + Asanaka Yomogi (Gridman Universe) – Such a great pairing in their own show—I once saw someone call them forced, which has always struck me as just being too high on Bashing The Hets to see that Yomogi and Yume have a great arc towards getting together, actually.  Seeing them be unabashedly together and happy about it in the film was 100% delightful and deserved. Yume swooping down out of the sky on Dynarex to scoop up her wifeguy boyfriend is my actual favorite beat in the movie.

Hyura (Helck) – Firstly, the dry humor around Hyura is fantastic.  (“Something like an arm grows back simply enough.  That’s just common sense.”  “It doesn’t, right?”  “It does not.”)  Secondly, she’s the biggest badass in the secondary cast.  Thirdly, she and Edil have the designated rival ship dynamic (incredibly rare to see across gender lines in shounen manga), and Hyura holds her own all the way to the end.  Hyura is great.

Mikaros (Helck) – “Yes, we may have lost some assets and I personally shattered the mind of one of our strongest soldiers, removing him from the playing field.  But the important thing is that I personally overcame my trauma, so overall it’s a win.”  What a slimeball.  What a total heap.  And what an excellent example of the end-stage stakes driving the title character's choice in the epilogue! I love Mikaros unreservedly.

Harold Aldo Hughes and Iwaki Tadanobu + Sam (Canis: The Speaker) – Transformation, reinvention, the fierceness of devotion and the ruthlessness of rebirth—I don’t love them quite as much as I do Sam, but they’re also both great.

Hera (Lore Olympus) – Lore Olympus is one of those series I read more because it’s interesting enough while also being blisteringly gorgeous than because I’m deeply invested in the characters, but the plotline about Hera and Kronos really has pulled me all the way into active, character-specific interest.  Great, tense, painful stuff.  Can’t wait to see where she goes following recent events.

Redcloak (Order of the Stick) – His last really insightful and heartwrenching scene was in the year before last—that fantastic exchange with Oona!—but for as long as I’m reading OOTS, Redcloak is going to be a favorite.  God, the Law Elemental summoning is so funny.

Hyness (Kirby franchise) – This one’s entirely on my sis-in-law—like another character further down the list, I am not remotely “in” the Kirby fandom.  But what can I say—tell me about a warped cult leader who started in a bad place and only got worse who still managed to get saved by the Hero taking a leap of faith that paid off, and tell me the fandom calls him a horrible abuser?  Sorry, but I Have No Choice But To Stan. (full art here)

Lafcadio Boone (The Sexy Brutale) – Replayed this again last year, and it’s still great.  In a sense, despite its sizeable named cast, it really only has the one character, and his story is such that I want to make every single person on tumblr that gets hyperbolic about the forgiveness and redemption of fictional wrongdoers play this game.  “Time to move on, old man,” indeed.

Sissel (Ghost Trick) – Finally got the remaster of this and replayed it, and it’s also still great.  Knowing The Spoilers about Sissel seriously make replays such a scream, but also man is this game really sitting on some completely over-the-top darkness not at all far beneath its candy apple red and Matrix-text green surface.

Pavitr Prabhakar/Spider-Man India (Across the Spider-Verse) – Strictly in terms of character writing, he’s very fun, but I don’t think he’s as strong as Spider-Punk or Miguel O'Hara, but on the other hand, he’s so much fun, especially to simply watch in motion.  Most of the rest of the leads, however varied their artstyles might be, still feel like they move in basically the same ways, just with varying levels of grace vs. power, intent vs. controlled collapse, but because of the way Pavitr uses his thread, he moves completely differently, and it’s just a ton of fun to watch.  The first character I went hunting for fanart of when I got out of the movie theater.

Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman (Across the Spider-Verse) – I have outstanding affection for Spider-Gwen from reading her comics back when, but that opening Vulture fight, the fantastic look of her dimension, and all the trans signaling kept her right at the top, too.

Brutha (Discworld: Small Gods) – @codenamesazanka read this and a few of the Watch books last year, prompting me to do some rereads as well, and Brutha and Small Gods remain very dear to me.  I only wish more artists would draw versions of him that remotely resemble “fat, simple-looking young man from a desert country in fantasy!expy!Middle East” rather than “suspiciously trim and Benedictine.”

Sam Vimes (Discworld series) – Ditto on Nal’s read above, but also chatted with foo a lot about this guy, and he’s been my favorite single character in the series since high school.  It takes very little to prompt me to reread his books generally, but last year was the first time I’ve had it in me to reread Snuff, as it was previously a little too tied up in my feelings about the last few books prior to Pratchett’s death.  Regardless of anything else, though, Snuff is the book for Sam/Sybil.

Mina Murray (#DRCL: Midnight Children) – Discovered this lush chonk of horror phantasmagoria last year and I’m kind of in love with it.  Its take on Mina anchors it well—she’s smart and fiery but up against ingrained sexism and classism in her setting, and not too Anachronistic Grrl Power to not be hurt by that sometimes; she’s stubborn, but vulnerable to the supernatural horrors in the way any child would be.  An unreliable but intriguing and sympathetic narrator.

Capone Bege (One Piece) – The other character I got onto largely without getting into the series he hails from, nickfoo—whose art I again use to illustrate—does great work with this guy, a once-jovial monster shocked back from that moral brink by marriage and fatherhood.  Still gets a bit Into It at work, but tries not to bring it home, at least as much as that can be avoided when carrying both family and crew around in the same heart/sub-dimensional space.  (Also, foo’s version of Bege is great, but her rendition of Chiffon is—speaking as someone who doesn’t read the series and can only gauge by image search or skimming the wiki—borderline miraculous, accurate to Oda’s lively caricature design, but so much more sensitive, expressive and human.)

Prince Kazu/Lady Chikako (Ooku: The Inner Chambers) – On the occasion of the Netflix anime, I finally tracked down and finished Ooku last year, and when I tell you that I laughed more and harder in the final arc than I did through the entire rest of the series combined…  The Kyoto cast members are a big part of why,[3] and none more delightful than the stuffy, prideful, possessive, and deeply impetuous Chikako, one of the most singularly human characters in the whole 19-volume melodrama.

3: Catty ex-male prostitute turned head of the Inner Chambers Takiyama is the other part of this equation, by the way.

Gao Shun (The Apothecary Diaries) – Long-suffering stoics are my absolute favorite type, and that holds true even though Gao Shun's stoicism has been largely a humorous beat thus far.  I want this guy to get more attention, but until then, I will continue to enjoy his weary exasperation every time he has to deal with Mao Mao’s eccentricities/Jinshi’s enthusiasm about same.

Mao Mao (The Apothecary Diaries) – Best female character of the season, for sure, but I’ve been reading one of the manga for a while now, and she’s a regular delight.  Eccentric and ruthless by turns, painfully aware of the limitations of her position and yet wholly willing to make her own decisions and exert her own agency within those limitations without ever concerning herself with whether she should ask permission from or report to someone above her rank.  Mao Mao’s mercy takes the form of knowing when to speak and when to demure, and every time I see some stuck-in-their-own-ethical-framework commenter complain about her moral compass, I appreciate it harder.

Accustomizer Stud/Tiffany (Angelic Acceptor Alouette) – Enthusiastically resourceful teenage girl who would probably be super into transhumanism if she hadn’t fallen in with angels (sic) instead, transforming into the gloriously nonbinary pile of muscles and amazing hair that is Accustomizer Stud, Tiffany’s ultimate expression of her inner self.  Stud is magnanimous, gracious, and well-spoken, and they are also VERY LOUD AND FIGHTY.  My absolute favorite character in a game wall-to-wall with great characters.

Yuunagi Tsubasa/Cure Wing (Hirogaru Sky PreCure) – The first Official Boy Cure with absolutely no provisos or qualifications or ways to wiggle out of it, and the show gets him just right by playing him basically completely straight.  Has a costume no one would look twice at in a magical girl line-up, wastes no time on masculine embarrassment at his frills, with the only nod he/the show make towards his gender at all being to frame his role as being a knight to a princess, rather than simply a guardian to one, but it’s not really what he’s about.  His actual character is driven by knowledge, studiousness, and a desire to overcome the limitations placed on him by being a human/pudgy flightless bird fairy.

Kei Miyama (Go With the Clouds, North By Northwest) – Something of a stand-in for his series generally, which I read the two most recent volumes of last year and fell in love with all over again—particularly the most recent one, which switches deftly between depictions of shattering, world-hollowing grief and the beguiling intimacy of the rhythms of life and nature.  But my love for the manga itself aside, Kei’s a great protagonist, full of little contradictions and snags that make him feel much more fleshed out and grounded than your average animanga male lead, even as he’s running around doing very Animanga Male Lead Things, like solving mysteries by using his Strange Power to get information a normal person could not.

Lord El-Melloi II/Waver Velvet (Fate franchise) – Waver is possibly my favorite character of all time in any medium, so it takes very little to rekindle the love.  In last year's case, it took the Fate/strange Fake special!  Love to see my boy continue to wrest more narrative space for himself than he was originally allotted by virtue of being a run-away audience favorite of the Fate/Zero anime!

Ivan (Giant Robo: The Day the Earth Stood Still) – Got the remastered Blu-ray last year as a gift, and guess what?  I still love Ivan in all his cartoonish mini-boss villainy layered over the pathos of tragic loss and resentment.  Honestly, I can only assume he’s as well-adjusted as he is because Alberto is so inspiring to work in close quarters with (mood), because otherwise I’d think it pretty unfair that the sole surviving Bashtarle national in the story gets so little to say about/to the people who blew it up.

Isurugi Camice (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans) – I was a bit too preoccupied with BNHA meta last year to think much about my prior fandom phase, but I still made time to rotate Isurugi in my mind from time to time.  As one of my beloved long-suffering stoics, I can always make that kind of time for him.  (Image source is from the cover of a doujinshi I have, because melancholy BL doujinshi is definitely more the kind of tonal zone my mental rotations were occupying than they were canon’s!)

And, finally, the blank

(If anyone reading this wants to give it a whirl, I reccommend blowing it up to x2 size; makes the small squares easier to work with.)

[lovlorne]

COMMON MISCONCEPTION(S).  she's not a femme fatale (except in aus where ignorance and poor socialization didn't cause her to be what she is), nor is she written to be necessarily "evil". she is a cross-breed between the fake cutie and kawaiiko tropes. her "ruse" is immediately broken the second she speaks due to being a brat, and she makes very little attempts to hide sour behind sweet unless it benefits her. the trope that fits best is lovable alpha bitch to fallen princess. in every iteration, she requires her reputation being ruined or something similar to start developing. i think of her as more of a bully than a villain, especially in human/modern verses.

AN IMPORTANT HEADCANON.  when i moved from her original blog, the initial rename was "heartheelturn" because of the sharp discrepancies between the personas she opts to show people, and her own internal perception of self. this never changes: she's meant to be jarring in action, looks, and words. she makes abrupt shifts in her personality to adapt, which results in cognitive dissonance that she cannot correct due to her career requiring her to present in the way she's being marketed. ultimately, she takes her learnings to create a happier final self, opting for the classic "choosing death" like certain prosecutors to mark that point in life. things change for her, both superficially and internally.

A USELESS HEADCANON.  she hates math. she hates financing. if she's making a purchase, she's gotta have it all available now, or she's not getting it at all. this sure ends up sucking when she's no longer got her daddy's money to rely on, because then she is forced to confide in those who may not have the best intentions for her. she's also relatively unskilled unless it is something she's intensely focused on. if her vespa or car breaks down, you can bet she's going to use her charms to get some assistance, because she sure doesn't want to have to get dirty and do things herself.

POTENTIAL TRIGGERS.  while i likely won't be going into detailed extremes, typical violence ( fights, murder, death, homicide ) is present here. mental illness ( intrusive thoughts, depersonalization-derealization, extreme anxiety and paranoia, suicidal ideation ) is also a common feature. i can write just about anything and everything, though it must be given due respect. i focus more on the mental aspect of these actions more than anything.

SOMETHING YOU ENJOY ABOUT (WRITING) THEM.  i love writing her warped conscience more than anything. the way she justifies her behavior, the way she is disturbed by the things her mind allows to surface. it's also a treat when she interacts with characters that don't tolerate her bullshit, or threads where she's unabashedly sweet without an underlying reason. i want her to have as many experiences as possible with different people, just because it all helps shape what she ultimately wants to become, whether it be a good or bad person, or something in-between.

SOMETHING YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW BEFORE WRITING WITH THEM.  you can treat her badly. she probably deserved it. ❤ one of her biggest developmental moments was being thrown in a dumpster, so i am more than happy to have people fire back if she irks their muse. of course, this means she'll likely retaliate, but we don't have enough fun rivalries or deep loathing relationships imo! don't think that because i write her like a delicate little shithead, i don't expect her to get her ass beat. she's no stranger to brawls either.

tagged: @bloodxhound!! [throwing rat at u meme] tagging: uhhh snatch and @ me <3

[duckapus]

Since splatfest is it's own thing in the squid meme au what teams was Meggy?

(so I'm going with the North American Splatfests for this since in SMG4 canon the Mushroom Kingdom and Inkadia are in the US for some reason)

Splatoon 1

(since this would all be before she met Mario I can only base them off her pre-character development personality and Vibes. I have explanations for a few of them but for most I'm kinda-sorta picking at random)

Cats (since she eventually gets a cat in canon)

Roller Coasters

Marshmallows (we saw how that one food fight episode went)

Autobots

Art

Planes

Ninjas

Burgers

Naughty

Future

Pokemon Blue

Snowman

Spongebob

Costume Party

Early Bird (She would be a Morning Person, wouldn't she?)

Marie (I HC that she used to have a celebrity crush on Marie. Because I Can)

Splatoon 2

Cake

Ketchup

Flight (Mostly because she picked her team right after getting home from Mario's Challenge and was thinking that flight would've made some of those floors a lot easier to get through)

Vampire (This one's just for me ;))

Sci-Fi (the Fest started the same day she did a Matrix scene for a movie audition, it just makes sense)

Sock (honestly she kind of just picked one at random since she was too worried about Paige to really care. she almost didn't bother going at all)

Action (duh)

Money

Egg

Soccer (anyone notice a pattern developing?)

Leo (okay losing streak aside I genuinely think Leo would be her favorite of the four)

Mikey

Raph

No Pulp (the texture just feels wrong to her)

Octopus (She ended up in matches with Desti a few times and it was awkward being on the same side)

Fork (FINALLY A WIN! Just in time for Waluigi Time...)

Skipped (she was a little busy being the first victim of the Waluigi Apocalypse)

Treat

Salsa (she may or may not be allergic to avocados)

Hero

Friends (considering what I've implied Meggy and Paige's parents are like compared to the NSS and Glitchy Gang is it really surprising?)

Pancakes (she might have just flipped a coin for this one)

Skipped (she doesn't have time for Splatfest there's TRAINING TO BE DONE!!!)

Skipped (kind of hard to participate in Splatfest when all your weapons are stolen)

Skipped (both because she wouldn't have had time with the Tournament going on and...you know...the whole Being Kidnapped Thing)

Narwhals (after Mario's pep talk part of her getting back into the swing of things includes doing Splatfest stuff)

Chaos (she probably would've picked Order before she met Mario, but...)

Ketchup (a lot of things have changed for Meggy. her preference in condiments isn't one of them)

Treat

Super Mushroom (apparently she likes how they taste)

Splatoon 3

(I know she doesn't live in or even near Splatsville but thanks to the DLC we know that Inkopolis participates in Splatsville Splatfests and I figure that by this point there's be a large enough population of Inkfish living in the Mushroom Kingdom that they would too. Plus Meggy's still at least part inkling and is still culturally an Inkling so...)

Rock

Skipped (since her very existence happened to be illegal at the time and she and every other OC dropped dead the exact same day the Fest started)

Grass

Sweet

Milk Chocolate

Aliens (in honor of Greg, of course)

Courage

Skipped (depending on how the timeline works out this is either during or immediately after everyone being stuck in a simulation for about a month. no way they're bothering with an ice cream Splatfest of all things)

Love (time changes a person)

Big Man (she did feel a little awkward picking between people she considers friends by this point. that being said, BIG MAAAAAAAN!!!!!)

Skeleton (I know this happens at the same time as Heist WotFI but she isn't even in that episode (I don't care that she was credited for the song that was her voice actress not Meggy herself she was not physically present and had no idea what anyone was doing that night))

Hug

Friends

Friday

[We interrupt this broadcast to bring you PUZZLEVISION!!!]

[And this one too!]

Save the World (obviously)

[lampmanliveblogs]

Announcement

(+ sneak peek of chapter 3 of the Vee fic)

I mentioned it in the tags of the incorrect quote meme thing I made yesterday, but in case anyone missed it: My liveblog of Watching and Dreaming, the finale of The Owl House will be published this upcoming Friday.

The plan is to publish it in three parts over the weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The time will be… whenever I get to it. Turn on notifications if you wanna be there in time. Or just read it afterwards, nothing wrong with that.

In other news… I’ve been staying up too late writing fanfiction again (especially considering I’ve got work tomorrow…). So below the cut is a little sneak peek of chapter three of the Vee fic, Yesterday’s Lie, Today’s Truth, Tomorrow’s Resolve.

(the chapter title is a placeholder, I'm probaably gonna change it... provided i think of something better)

Lamp Entertainment presents…

With the threat of Jacob still on their minds, Vee and Masha agreed that it was probably for the best if Vee didn’t spend the night alone in an empty house. It took some pleading, but Masha was eventually able to convince their parents to let ’Luz’ stay over for the night, even though next day was a school day.

It probably helped that ’Luz’ was such a well-mannered and well-kept girl; Vee showed up looking closer to her old disguise, with the addition of a scar across her eyebrow. It was strange to see her slip so effortlessly and fluidly back into that role. She really was every bit the same girl from camp. Masha’s parents certainly never suspected a thing. They bought her every lie like it was on discount.

Thus Vee ended up sleeping on an air mattress on the floor in Masha’s room. Exhausted after everything that had happened during the day and the night before, the two friends both drifted off to sleep quickly.

Some hours later, Masha woke up, sitting straight up in their bed, blinking in the darkness. Something was wrong, but being disoriented and groggy, it took them a few seconds to figure out what it was. Vee was crying.

In the dark, Masha couldn’t see what was going on, but they heard Vee tossing and turning, her whimpers and incoherent mumbles.

”Vee?” Masha said, trying to speak soft enough to not scare her, but loud enough to wake her up. They fumbled in the shadows, trying to reach her. ”Vee, wake up.” They found Vee, grabbing her shoulder. They felt her scales against their palm; she had transformed back in her sleep. ”Vee, you have to wake up,” Masha said, louder this time while gently shaking her.

Vee groaned and mumbled something. Masha could just barely make out her movements a she turned over and sat up, making the air mattress squeak.

”Wha-where?” Vee mumbled, clearly disoriented.

”You’re here with me, remember?” Masha said. ”I think you had a nightmare.” They fumbled around their bedside table, grabbing a box of matches and lighting a candle. Because of course they had a candle on their bedside table.

In the flickering light of the candle, Masha could just make out Vee, tangled in her borrowed blanket. Her eyes were wet and blank. She breathed heavily.

”Yeah…” she said finally. ”I had a nightmare. I-I dreamt I was back in the Demon Realm with Luz and mom and…” She paused for a few seconds, taking deep breaths. When she started talking again, the words all came at once. ”Something happened and they got hurt and I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t help them.”

”It was just a nightmare,” Masha said, trying to come up with something to say that to comfort Vee. ”It’s only natural, you’re worried about Luz and Camila.” Keeping one hand on the bedside table, they leaned forward to keep the other hand on Vee’s shoulder. Even if their words weren’t good enough, at least they could be there physically for her. ”But you said it yourself, they’re both tough, I’m-I’m sure they’ll be fine.” Masha was nowhere near as good a liar as Vee. How could they say that when they had no idea?

”I know,” Vee said, her gaze lowering towards a dark shadow on the floor. ”But… I keep thinking I should have gone with them. What if they need my help? What if-?”

Vee was interrupted when Masha cursed violently. The candle fell over, right onto the deck of Hexas Hold’em cards, setting one of them on fire. Vee reacted quickly, snatching the card and smothering the flames with her bare hands. Masha blew on the candle, extinguishing it and plunging the room back to darkness.

”I’m so sorry, i must’ve knocked it over,” Masha said. Foregoing the aesthetics of the candle for the practicality of their phone, Masha turned on the flashlight. ”You didn’t burn yourself, did you?”

”No,” Vee said, showing her unharmed palms. ”Those were just small flames, it’s fine. The card looks a bit worse for wear though.” She handed Masha the burned card. It was The Light, almost entirely burnt. ”I’ll get you a knew one, I’ve got a few decks back at home.” She blinked and rubbed her eyes in the light. ”Could you turn that off?”

”Sure,” Masha said and turned the flashlight off. They heard Vee moving around, trying to untangle herself from the blanket and lying back down. Masha also laid back down.

A couple of minutes went by where Masha wondered if they should say something more. They didn’t need to.

”I couldn’t go back,” Vee said quietly, almost whispering. ”I just couldn’t go back yet. Not with him there.”

Him. Philip Wittebane. Emperor Belos. Once human, now something else. The shambling, rotting corpse of a tyrant and bigot, a genocidal maniac, a murderer.

”I don’t like to talk about it,” Vee said, her voice just barely audible. She took a deep, unsteady, shaking breath. ”But he hurt me. He hurt all of us. He and his guards with their knives and needles. They’d force us to eat and steal magic from defenseless creatures. It was all we knew. When I was little, Number One was still kind, but over the years… I watched them turn her into the monster they thought we were.”

Vee sniffled and Masha heard rustling as she dried tears from her eyes.

”The cages were always cold,” she continued. ”They kept us in cold cages so we’d be docile and not try to escape. I remember when I was little, the happiest day of my life before I came here, was when they moved us to a new place. It was the first time I saw the sun. And I remember it like it was yesterday because… that was the first time I felt alive.” Vee sighed and Masha heard more rustling. In the dark they could just barely make out her big, bright yellow eyes. ”I’m sorry you had to hear this,” Vee said.

”It’s okay,” Masha said, even though they were struggling to hold back their own tears. Every word Vee said was like a knife to their heart. These poor creatures, locked up and experimented on, not even given proper names, only numbers. How could anyone be so cruel? ”I just wish there was something I could say to make it better.”

Vee reached out, taking their hand in hers. She ran her thumb over the back of Masha’s hand. The scales on the palm of her hand were softer, almost indistinguishable from human skin. Just a little colder.

”It’s enough that you’re here,” Vee said.”I couldn’t ask for more.”

They held hands for some time, how long they didn’t know. In another room, a big grandfather clock chimed, but neither of them bothered to count the chimes.

”Masha?” Vee said after a long silence.

”Hm?” they hummed in response.

”Can I… sleep next to you?” Vee asked, hesitating. ”It’s cold on the floor…”

Without a word they let go of Vee’s hand and moved over to make room for her.

Vee slithered into the bed with Masha.

”Thank you,” she whispered.

Chapter 3: Clara’s Tide

Morning came too soon, its arrival announced by the blaring ringing of an alarm clock. Masha’s eyes snapped open and they tried to sit up to quiet horrible cacophony the little noisemaker was making. However, they found themselves unable to move much at all. There was a moment of panic, though it faded away quickly as they realized the predicament they were in.

In the morning grogginess, they had somehow managed to forget they were not alone in their bed. Now, that bed was not meant for two people, but Vee had maybe taken things a bit too far.

Facing each other, Vee’s arms were tightly locked around Masha’s body and her tail tangled in their legs. Their back was against the wall while Vee’s was out towards the room, almost like she was shielding them. Her face was nuzzled against Masha’s shoulder and she was beginning to slowly sir, groaning as the alarm’s incessant yowls invaded her dreams.

”Foul screaming demon,” she muttered.

”No, that’s just the alarm clock, ” Masha said.

This got Vee’s attention. She opened her eyes, sky blue and sunshine yellow meeting Masha’s earthy brown.

”Good morning,” Masha said, a smile playing on their lips as they watched Vee’s face turn a deeper color.

”Uh…” Vee quickly let go of Masha and did her best to untangle her tail from their legs. Finally able to move properly, Masha sat up and turned off the infernal alarm.

”S-sorry about that,” Vee mumbled, avoiding eye contact. ”I, um… constrictor instinct?”

Masha narrowed their eyes.

”I’m beginning to think you’re making that up.

”Maybe~” Vee said with a sly smile.

There was a moment of silence before they both burst out laughing, instantly dispelling the awkward tension between them.

The mood shifted from jovial to sheer panic when their laughing fit was interrupted by a knock on the door.

”Masha, Luz?” Mom’s voice sounded through the door. ”You two awake?” She asked, as if she hadn’t heard them laughing.

”Eep!” In what must have been a record, Vee managed to, in under two seconds, roll off the bed, transform mid-air, and land on the cold hard floor with a ”thud.”

Masha’s mom opened the door to find Masha sitting in their bed, looking confused, and Luz sitting on the floor, eyes wide and with a distinctively panicked expression.

”G-good morning mrs. Smith!” ’Luz’ said with a nervous smile.

”Morning Luz, you sleep well?” mom asked, though she was looking at Masha, looking suspicious. ”And you can call me Lena.”

”Yup, uh… nothing but sweet dreams for me,” ’Luz’ laughed. ”And, um… thanks for letting me stay here. I know it was on very short notice and all that…”

”Don’t mention it,” mom said. ”There’s breakfast downstairs. You go ahead, I need to talk a bit with Masha.”

”Okay…” ’Luz’ said and quietly hurried out of the room. Something about her invoked the feeling of a guilty puppy.

The silence she left behind was deafening.

”She is strange, that Luz,” Lena said after making sure that ’Luz’ was out of earshot. She leaned down (something that put visible strain on her, more than usual, Masha noticed) and placed a hand on the cold air mattress. ”Sleeps on the floor, does she?”

She walked over and sat down next to them.

Masha wanted to roll their eyes, but that involved a risk of meeting their mother’s eyes, and that was not happening right now. They were far too busy examining a seam on the duvet. Had that always been there? Fascinating stuff.

”Luz had a nightmare,” Masha said once they realized their mom was waiting for them to say something. ”She asked if she could sleep next to me. That’s it.”

It’s been said an proven by history that the best lies often have a bit of truth in them, and this was more than just a bit. It was almost the entirety of the truth. Really, there was only one word on untruth. One name a lie.

”Hmm…” Lena hummed. ”Do I believe that?”

”Luz has a girlfriend,” Masha said, starting to get a bit desperate for this conversation to end.

”Luz can have two… partners,” Lena said matter-of-factly. ”It’s called a polycule, don’t you know?” She could barely finish the sentence before cracking a big smile.

This time, Masha did roll their eyes.

”I know, mom,” they sighed. ”But it really isn’t like that.”

”I’m just messing with you,” Lena said with a mischievous smile, ruffling her kids hair, making it even more of a mess than it already was. ”I think I’ll believe you. You make people feel safe, I think. You get that from your dad.”

She glanced over at the clock and stood back up with a groan.

”You should get going too if you wanna catch the bus,” she said. ”And…” A brief moment of consideration. She placed one hand on her stomach, unaware she even did it. ”We do have something to tell you when you get home. It is, ah… something of a surprise.”

”Oh yeah, I can’t imagine what it is,” Masha muttered just low enough that their mom couldn’t make it out. Taking it as confirmation, she left.

Masha buried their face in their hands and groaned loudly. That was… that sure was something that just happened. The universe, it seemed, had decided that all the things were going to happen to Masha during the course of this week.

They grabbed the deck of Hexas Hold’em cards, shuffled them, and drew the first three cards.

The Raven. The Red String. The Two-Headed Snake.

…yeah, they were not gonna acknowledge that one.

”I feel like I keep getting the same cards over and over again,” Masha muttered and shuffled the deck again. ”What does today have in store for me?” This time they did get something different.

The Numbers, a card filled with equations. The Runner, a four legged creature galloping across the card. The Books, an uneven stack of thick tomes written in runes foreign to the human world.

At that point, Masha was starting to suspect a pattern.

”Number, running, and books…,” they said to themselves. ”In other words, math, PE, and English.” Accurate, but very helpful. Then again, maybe it was for the better. A normal, boring, uneventful day at school would do them good after the last few days.

xxXXxx

A normal, boring, uneventful day at school, that was all Vee was asking for. It would have done her some good after the last few days, but no, that was not to be.

Vee and Masha had just barely managed to catch the bus, and if that was the most exciting thing that happened that day, then that would have been perfectly fine by Vee, she’d welcome it. The little mundane problems, the things human teenagers are supposed to worry about, like school, homework, and asking their crush out. One of those weighed heavy on Vee’s mind.

All of them being older than Luz, none of the Cabin 7 crew shared a class with Vee, which was a bit sad. They’d have to make due meeting up at lunch, where Masha was sure to be bursting with excitement to tell the boys what they and Vee had discovered. They were not the only one with news to tell though.

She was first to the classroom and first sat at her desk, watching as the rest of the students walked to their seats. As people filled the room, so did the various smells Vee was used to by now. Mostly sweat, hormones, and cheap deodorant. It was a room full of teenagers after all. It was all rather normal… until Clara passed by Vee.

Instinctively, Vee took a deep breath, her body realizing before her brain that something was off. Unaware, Clara, who looked rather glum, sat down at her usual place, the desk right in front of Vee.

Clara Lambretta, how would one describe her? Who’s she?

[a-dark-sanctuary]

@meme-boys-blog @snuurge ARE YOU READY?! iTS TIME FOR THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! Btw uh there's mentions of suicide and some strong language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He has been looking ever since she vanished. 

Every free moment was spent chasing her. Speaking her Name and following the faint trail it set out. 

It always led to a cluster. Never a specific instance. It took less than a second to check if which one was the one she visited, but those seconds add up. And she moved quickly.

So it was a surprise when he finally caught up to her after all this time.

TOK-DEB-12211401, Instance #112511121519. 

——————

There’s a pair of students walking past a coffee shop. They’re friends, but not by choice. They talk about the project they’re working on, something about the history of Japan. A presentation is brought up, and one one of them offers to take most of the speaking role for it. Judging by the attitudes of one over the other, the presenter will probably forget this interaction moving forward, while the other will remember the kindness they shared.

The white haired woman smiles at this. It’s always the little things. The small tokens of kindness, the compliments on the street, the unusual acquaintance… Just as a butterfly flaps its wings, so too can a few words change the course of a story. It’s why Kuzé takes these nights out. To watch such mundanities; to be a spectator on the stage of life.

There’s a man across the street. He catches her eye from his… eccentric getup. An immaculate white suit, blonde hair in a small ponytail. A few people ask if he’s lost, but they don’t otherwise comment on his outfit. Interesting. If this is an Anomaly at work, she’d love to observe it before Darkwick gets their hands on it. 

Before she can drift to the next person, their eyes meet. Silver meeting abyssal black. His eyes go wide with an unreadable emotion, while she just smiles. It’s not the first time someone’s thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. But knowing Kaito Fuji, he would consider any girl worthy of that title. Kuzé goes back to her coffee.

There’s another passerby that catches her attention. A man in casual wear. He’s talking on the phone in an annoyed tone. At this time of night with that sway to his step, it’s certainly a drunken call about an ex-lover? No, it’s his boss. You wouldn’t complain about low pay to your ex. Or would you? Either way, a call like that is bound to-

“[]?”

It’s barely a whisper. A Name so arcane, so Other, it cannot be properly spelt with human language alone. It’s a collection of sounds and feelings, all for the listener to hear. The Name sounds like the soft chirps of birds on a summer’s day; the slight sting of the sun shining on one’s skin with the smell of fresh cut grass. A Name that paints a picture in mere utterance alone.

It pulls at her heart a little.

Kuzé whips her head around to the speaker- the white-suited man from earlier -and gives him a wide-eyed look before it sours into a scowl. He must have crossed the street a while ago. With his bright suit, it’s a surprise she didn’t notice. He’s standing a few feet away, his body still. 

He looks at her with such fondness; it’s enough to make her sick. A few moments pass before he cautiously closes the distance. A silent invitation accepted when there was none given.

Before he says anything, she interrupts him with a hiss. “Who are you, and where did you hear that Name?”

He stumbles a little when he takes a seat before examining her face with a shaky breath, “You- You don’t remember?”

“Answer the question.” 

A shaky breath, “I’m {}. We used to hang out between assignments?”

His Name matches the other in its otherworldly nature. It reflects the smell and feel of old parchment; ancient tomes of knowledge read next to a warm hearth.

A part of herself perks up in joy. Answering the question with flashes of memory.

His gray eyes light up into a shining silver,  “So you do remember. Where have you been Gabriel? I’ve been looking everywhere-“

“Do not call me that,”

…and dulled back to the shade of stormy skies. He searched her face, desperately trying to find answers to how his old friend could snap at him like a steel vise.

But yet, he persisted.

“…What happened?” 

“She found what She wanted.” She sighed. 

In the silence that followed, Kuzé could see the memories replay in front of him. Aged film reels spinning behind the curtain, trying desperately to find a certain scene. 

And when he found it. Oh, when he found it. The slight widening of eyes, the trembling of lips, that vacant look… He knows. He now knows what he looks at is no longer his old friend, but someone who embraced the Void in all its nothingness and majesty. 

Kuzé goes back to her drink. The conversation is done in her eyes. All he has to do now is leave in defeat.

“…I’m sorry.” He mutters. 

A sudden feeling of vertigo, like the world dropped out from her. Her cup falls to the floor. She meets his eyes with a harsh glare. A face of unparalleled focus. A stare where the contents of the soul is laid bare for the viewer to see. 

She knows, because she’s employed the same technique. Viewing every Name, no matter how small. Peeling back the layers and worming his way in like a parasite. Who does he think he is?

She ought to scar him, kill him, hurt him. The bridges were burnt. It’s only right.

But yet, she can’t bring herself to move. Why? Is it for her affection for the Ghouls? Possible detection? Condemning an entire instance and its people The Void just to kill {Rustling Pages and Hearthfire Warmth}… 

Finally, he withdraws, tears in his eyes and white as a sheet.

“You’re lucky we’re in public, {Rustling Pages and Hearthfire Warmth}.” And in this specific cluster. Though they wouldn’t mobilize immediately, Darkwick has eyes everywhere. She wouldn’t be surprised if a small force were to arrive in a few minutes if anything unusual happened.

Despite her bitter remark, he holds fast.

“Did you enjoy rifling through me? Did you have any fun?”

A breath in, then out.

“Find any fragments of her to cling to?”

 He wipes his face and composes himself.

“Oh come on, Uri. Was the truth too much to handle? Did you finally realize  your endless search was fruitles-“

“…Why did you try to kill yourself, [Birdsong And Sunlight]?” 

Power flows alongside the words. The force ushers commands to a person that doesn’t exist. It should have blown away, like ash in the wind.

But yet, it finds its mark. 

It digs into the deepest reaches of her and forces her to respond in a voice seldom used. It's soft and mature, but quiet. So unlike all the other women she prefers to imitate.

“Because there was no other way.”

{Rustling Pages and Hearthfire Warmth} leans down, meeting her eyes and speaking in hushed tones.

“...We need to go.” He urges.

She looks up. People stare at them. Her fit was enough to attract attention.

The wrong kind of attention.

—————

Leo Kurosagi was trying to crack the stupid passcode on this stupid program. It’d updated last night, and he’d been trying to figure out what changed besides the password fail message removing all mentions of that “High King.” 

Honestly, he could try brute forcing it, but the lack of a character limit would make it take forever. He’d rather not have his computer become a decorative fan for the next hundred years, thank you. The shadow wins yet another round. Ugh.

He opens a new tab and checks his inbox. His favorite illegal forum has been a bit quiet lately, but he’s sure he can find some “Anomaly” sightings to laugh at.

Cheap suit, bad editing, doctored recording, some actually good editing, AI generated image (ew), familiar glitches, bad audio, wait a second.

Looks like the video skipped the beginning part, cause the focus was covered in the visual bugs. He assumed the glitches were caused by emotions or some kinda aura bullshit, and whoever was there was having a moment. Audio was creepy to say the least. Loud and clear despite all the visuals. He watched it while pulling up another tab. 

…Huh. 

Should he tell Fuji that she’s cheating on him?

—————

“I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have done that. I just…”

“…wanted to know she was still there, yeah?”

“Look, I didn’t think she was there either.”

“I know.”

“Hm?”

“You should have seen it. [Birdsong And Sunlight] was… shattered, and you were eating at the fragments.”

“Sounds appropriate. I’ve hated her for centuries.”

“Hated? Why?”

“Dunno. ‘Was a part of that false narrative I had.”

“For the longest time, I was convinced that she wanted to leave. I was convinced that no part of her remained. But when you said her Name…”

“I see. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I know how much you- I mean, she- didn’t like looking at souls like that. I just needed to know for sure.”

“I forgive you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think she would too.” “..Let’s start over, yeah?”

“Sure.”

“I’m {Rustling Pages and Hearthfire Warmth}, but you can call me Uriel.”

“Kuzé. Charmed.”

[They both laugh]

“Say, Uriel, have you ever learned to dance?”

“Haha… you know I never did.”

“How about singing?”

“I can do that.”

“Follow my lead.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GOD this was such a fun fic to write. I ended up recycling an old oc for this, and im so glad i recontextualized him. If you want some reference photos for him, i put together a couple picrews a while back: Picrew 1 Picrew 2 Picrew 3

Yes, his voiceclaim is KAITO the vocaloid, and yes, [Birdsong And Sunlight] is MEIKO. ^.^

:0!! vinegar fic!!! huzzah!!!

gonna be completely straight I am . not entirely sure what is happening here BUT your writing is crunchy as always. doing this to it

music too! yay! and picrews! double yay!

[ellieellieoxenfree]

Do you have a best quote/passage from a book of the year?

this is long, so i put it under a cut. :V

i had to go digging on the discord to find some of my faves from grafton tanner's the hours have lost their clock: the politics of nostalgia. that shit fucking suplexed me.

'as timeless brands, we might not change much, but it seems like everything else is changing all the time on social media. memes and discourses come and go quickly. when they leave our present awareness, they don't become anything like history or memory. they don't string together in any kind of comprehensible sequence, something we can look back and chart to make sense of the recent past. instead, when discourses disappear on social media, they are discarded and glom together to create a giant mass, like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, but for content: a gyre of internet debris that floats along, carrying the waste of the digital age. no one knows how big this vortex of discarded memes, jokes, ideas, and discourses is, or where it begins and ends. looking back over the brief history of the age of big tech, we can see a trail of detritus behind us, context-less, disconnected -- that's why it might feel like recent history didn't happen.'

'social media is the most powerful digital engine of nostalgia today. this is partly because it encourages users to remain fixed as themselves, so that they're more legible to mechanisms of corporate and state surveillance. but as mark fisher wrote, 'it's miserable for anyone at all to be themselves (still more, to be forced to sell themselves). being yourself, as jenny odell writes, means branding your identity clearly so that algorithms can advertise to you. it means turning your 'habits, desires, and drives' into 'units of capital.' the horrifying result is that you will 'never [be] surprised, challenged, or changed.' but because social media is an archive of the self and encourages users to be as 'monolithic and timeless as a brand,' it also invites them to chase after themselves as they were. look back at an old post, an old picture, and see how you used to look, what you used to do: you will probably be filled with nostalgia. you might try to recreate yourself as you were, thus further preventing change. and with a command, it can all disappear -- deactivated, deleted. will you yearn still?'

'unlike analog media, the digital technology of the twenty-first century allows us to outsource as many of our memories as we'd like and then carry them around with us. unless memories are deleted in a variety of ways -- account deactivation, losing or damaging a device, the disappearance of online sites -- they follow us wherever we go, relieving us of the burden to remember, but also keeping terminal memories alive in the present, forever. the result is that 'loss is itself loss,' as mark fisher wrote. these memory outsources contribute to the perpetual present of the digital age: nothing forgotten, everything now. our technologies are even programmed to forget for us, thanks to the popularity of ephemeral content on social media. a consequence of this memory outsourcing is a kind of widespread amnesia. my smartphone remembers to unlock, but i have forgotten why i picked it up.'

‘as a concept, the home is associated with nostalgia as much as ‘the past’ is. that’s because nostalgia is partly an emotional abstract for physical security. home is where you’re supposed to be safe. if nostalgia provides a makeshift comfort away from home, then home is the place to which you could return to let down your nostalgic guard and finally relax. home for many people is a familiar haven, untouched by the harsh reality that made them nostalgic for it in the first place. and the yearning for a home is strong both for those who have a home to return to and for those who don’t. but if the home becomes tainted, if the harsh reality on the outside penetrates the home’s interior, then there will no longer be a safe place to return to.’

sarah vaughn's ruined was uhhhh.....not great (sorry, sarah) but i loved the line 'what if i, myself, am a terrible thing?' and immediately poached it for a fic title. oops.

others i have found on my phone:

'following the direction indicated by the [detached and undead] left arm, the two headed northwest. they had to play a duet of 'rest' every day to temporarily pacify the arm's killing intent.' -- mo xiang tong xiu, grandmaster of demonic cultivation vol 1

(detached undead murder arm u will always be famous to me. fave MDZS character still)

s/o as well to qian qiu's thousand autumns for castrating a guy and just mentioning it in one line as a throwaway 'well, that happened' and moving on. it's literally like 'and then he knocked the guy out and castrated him and then kept traveling.' i cannot find my cap of it but i did send it to like four people the second i read it.

from tv, i apparently felt the following were worth saving:

'oh, really? you're not going to drink the piss test piss?' -- aunty donna's big ol' house of fun

'if i die, who’s going to teach the children about bo diddly?' -- wkrp in cincinnati

'what’s that, pods? the blob is very fat?' -- space ghost coast to coast

'he’s living on the couch, with the urine.' -- ditto

'god, that was violent. i blame the sea.' -- ditto x 2

'i am a foul and degenerate creature. i will now play the music.' -- ditto x 3

i cannot for the LIFE of me recall what these are from but i am 99.9% sure they are something australian i watched:

'it’s hard to tell your kid, when they’re going to school, ‘you don’t need a chinese gong.’'

'he’s making dolphin sounds and i’m getting deported.'

as usual, i clearly contain multitudes, many of them inexplicable.

[tabletofruination]

Ohhh, wonderful! It looks like I've got this thing working, finally.

I did tell you that reading up would prove helpful...

Yeah, I probably could've done that. But, well, here we are, partner! I'll go first on the introductions!

You guys can call me Juliana--or Juli, for short! I've been a student at Naranja Academy for a year and a half now--and it turns out you can do a lot in that time! I wound up accomplishing a lot! Champion, beater of Team Star, a-and other stuff... Though you'll find I'm waaay more interested in learning about history, nowadays. I think I've got all of Naranja's library read by now...alright, your turn, partner!

Really? Must I? ...I suppose I've little choice. My name is of no importance, but you may call me 'Green' if you wish to designate a name for me. As Miss Juliana has stated, I am something of a partner to her research into the legends of Paldea. It is a pleasure, I suppose.

We'll be talking a lot about our findings and hopefully posting a lot about what we can find--we're especially interested in finding out more about the Treasures of Ruin in this region, and finding out more about their history! But we're also down to battle! So feel free to talk to us!

HELLO welcome to another ~bad sable decision~, this time presenting: an AU Juliana who has been living rent free in my head for months! Time to pay-up and become an actual blog girliepop.

Anyway. As for how this Juliana is AU? It's very simple: girlie here got fused with Wo-Chien after shit went VERY decidedly awry during The Way Home. I'm going to hopefully reveal the details very slowly, but this Juliana is actually a little more villainous in nature, though in a very innocent sort of way. She's already freed Wo-Chien and I'm sure you can all figure out what's going to be the gimmick of this blog a bit. :3c

Some ground rules!

Juliana is a minor. If I see even a singular anon getting weird I will utilize the block button liberally, so don't be weird.

Juliana's circumstances are...I'll be honest, they're a fair amount darker because she did technically fail to stop the Paradise Protection Protocol herself and basically told her world's version of Nemona/Arven/Penny to run for their lives. And it haunts her. Oh does it haunt her. But while she technically lost, Wo-Chien basically won the rest of the fight and got Juliana out, though nobody is really aware of the whole. Fusion situation. As a result, some things have changed--particularly the Teal Mask, it plays out VERY differently here, and Juliana received no invitation to go to Blueberry as a result. And yes, she's basically kind of a villain now. :3c

Any description of the fusion and stuff will be kept minimal but uh. Just a general warning for body horror if you do decide to ask. Please do not fuck around and find out without proper prep. 🙏

More details of her canon circumstances will come out in time as she answers asks, and I ask simply for no godmodding! I may let some details slip OOC early but don't bring them up until I feel the time is right please!

Let me know if you're not okay with Juliana or Green interacting! Green is going to be keeping up a facade as a Totally Normal Human, but I imagine it's not going to take rocket science to figure out what Green is hiding. But I am treating canon like silly putty here, and Green will interact with people of their own accord. If you're not cool with that, let me know. Or if you want Green and not Juliana, or neither, just let me know!

Yes there are two Koraidon on the trainer card. Juliana does not fight with either of them despite Bitey basically being that one meme with the cat on the stairs going "FATHER I CRAVE VIOLENCE". And Buddy is basically still scared shitless of battle! So she basically only fights with three of her Pokemon, but she is pretty strong despite the handicap.

Juliana herself can tap into Wo-Chien's moveset. She absolutely HATES doing so, though. She pretty much only ever uses Protect in a panic, usually, but uh. I figured I'd bring that up in case anyone asked!

Pelipper Mail/Malice on, as is Musharna Mail/Malice! Please just fuck the girliepop up.

I. May also do some regular RP on here? I do not know how tumblr RP works but I have brainworms and want to RP the girl. If anyone wants to RP I guess hmu???

idk what else to put here. i'll think as i go??? but yes. this'll mostly be juliana's daily life stuff and expedition logging to try and find more stakes and more research!