#the fern agrees
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my vision
#do you understand#do you agree with my entirely imaginary dynamic for fionna and fern#adventure time#finn the human#fern the human#fionna the human
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god forbid im a fern stan whatever happened to supporting womens wrongs/lh
#like this post if you agree#my art#adventure time#fern adventure time#fern mertens#fionna and cake#distant lands
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"There are merits to the Broadway revival choreography," I say. The crowd boos me off the stage. I walk, dejected and with my head down, to the wings.
"They're right!" A voice cries out. I look up, and there he is: Alonzo catsthemusical himself,
#cats the musical#fern muses#fkdsjflskd THIS IS A JOKE I have tunnel vision#I agree with pretty much all of the criticism directed at the bway revival choreo#however. there is always another thought in my mind whispering about how they gave Alonzo more stuff to do#he looks like he has friends!!! he sticks around during the scares!!! he gets walloped by Tugger!!! US tour 6.2 boot my BELOVED#I love the original choreo but whenever I watch '98 he's always just. in the background. doing background stuff#but THE NEW BUSTOPHER CHOREOGRAPHY??? come ON there is so much characterization (for everybody tbh) in there
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javi: wait, what's the code?
amelia: well, it's five digits and the last person to set it up was izzy...
javi, sighing: got it.
fern: wait, what is it?
javi: 420 69
fern: yeah, that tracks.
#power rangers#dino fury#power rangers dino fury#izzy garcia#amelia jones#fern#javi garcia#incorrect quotes#incorrect power rangers quotes#source: titans#honestly either she or aiyon or both agreeing on it would happen just for shits and giggles ansjdnxnfn
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“no amount of sanitizing yourself will make bigots like you. to them you’ll always be a degenerate freak” ok. just because bigots will view me as a pedo doesn’t mean i have to support and ally myself with them
#that mindset is agreeing with bigots and going ‘oh you know what? we ARE pedos!’#sorry but your fetishes aren’t exempt from scrutiny#you did not just fall out of a coconut tree#go away fern#reblogs off bc i don’t trust this website#the us vs them mentally pushed to the extreme#i do not hold my boundaries and morals bc of what a bigot might think of me
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any new fizzy or javelia fanart👀?
Let's see.. I got a Royalty AU Fizzy in the works. A fizzy kiss in the car, a Javelia screenshot redraw and another Javelia royalty AU~ Line arts for all of them are done I’m just waiting for a day off to color em ^^
STAY TUUUNEDDDD~ COMIN SOON!!
#javelia#fizzy#fern#izzy garcia#I think we should give Fern a last name everyone in the fandom agrees on#like we did for trini#cosmic fury
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44 and 47!! also hiiiiiii hi nyx [and hi fern] <3
ok so 44- if i had a free pass to kill anyone i would kill (hey gamers its me ya boy"" -fern) I WOULD KILL (FERN I DESPISE THEM -fern) oh ffs i would kill fucking jack from school, you guys know. i would snap him like a twig he's so tiny why does he have that much audacity. bro is built like a toothpick and i hate him.
47- last message i sent here was to fern, literally just me screaming "I FOUND IT" bc i found an artist i had been looking for and was very proud of myself (gay -fern)
#no more sleepovers for fern 😔#:( -fern#seriously tho#leave me alone in a room with jack and im going to murder him#pls#let me#i beg#he's so stinky and fern agrees with me#i want to strangle him homer simpson style
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Everyone seems to be in agreement that I’m suffering under the effects of some strange but mild curse. However. nobody can agree on what the curse actually is.
#after much badgering my mom agreed with me that I just have weird luck. fern thinks it’s a bug curse (they seek me out it’s bizarre)#my freshman year roommate thought it was a technology curse because I had things go wrong for me that were seemingly impossible#and currently I think that i am cursed to not be able to make plans with people
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Babying Batboy
First |Previous|Next
"He's all yours Kori!" Dick said holding up the Batboy burrito.
Danny chirped in distress as Starfire picked him up and swung him around in her arms. "You are much smaller than I thought. So little and cute!"
"Let me see, I wanna see his wings!" Beastboy said rushing over to get a look.
"Nightwing, what's that bag for?" Raven asked Dick joining in.
"It's Batboy's diaper bag." As he said this Danny's eyes snapped in his direction with murder in them, daring Dick to even try putting a diaper on him.
"Æah!" Danny babbled angrily.
"Don't worry he is housebroken." He laughed. "I put his supplies inside. His blanket, his bottles, chew toys, and this set of superhero themed pacifiers. You should give him one now. He gets fussy."
Danny turned red with embarrassment. Toddler-sized or not he was not going to be treated like a baby, at least not in front of the Titans.
"Aww, these are so cute. I've never really understood the use of these things since they weren't needed on my planet but I heard human babies need these." Kori laughed picking out the purple and black Raven themed pacifier and pushing it right into Danny's face.
Danny turned his head to avoid it.
"Looks like the little man doesn't want that one." Cyborg laughed picking up the green and purple Beastboy pacifier instead.
Danny turned his head the other way only to have the red and green Robin pacifier lodged in him mouth.
"I was right, he wanted one that matches his dad." Raven said.
"It's still hard to believe you had a kid," Cyborg said to Nightwing.
"I know, I thought my figure would never recover." Nightwing joked.
The group settled in the living room. Danny was still trapped in Starfire's lap, angrily chewing holes in the pacifier. If Dick pulled out baby food Danny would bite him.
"You know he has deformed wings, right?" Gar tried to sound tactful as he pulled one of Danny's wings to full splay. "His wings are only connected to his back muscles and not his chest. They would need more muscle, bone and wing span to fly. Not to mention the base sits so weirdly at his spine. Poor kid."
Danny hiccuped and tears welled up in his eyes.
One of the drawbacks of shifting is that it requires a shift in your mental state. Cravings, behaviors, and emotions change to match. Currently, the bat and toddler parts are overwriting his sensible older brain.
Right now his feelings were hurt because he worked so hard to make his wing and trained so hard to fly.
"Wehh," Danny whined.
"Gar! You know he might understand you!" Kori scolded him as he hugged Danny close to her chest and patted his back.
"Let me get him." Dick said leaning over to take Danny from Starfire only to have Danny smack his hand because this was all his fault this happened.
Danny pouted leaning into Kori.
"Guys Hex High is one!" Cyborg said calling everyone to the TV.
The other Titans scrambled to get a good seat to watch their favorite show.
Danny immediately perked up to watch.
This episode was a rerun. Nicky the android was debating who to ask to the dance. Rosetta Ferns the bush nymph or Alaska North the Yeti. Nicky doesn't know that Alaska was already going with her ex-boyfriend Finley Reef to see if they can make up and get back together.
"Alaska is too good for either of them and Rosetta deserves better than to be a second choice." Gar sneered.
"Finley was always taking advantage of Alaska's sheltered past to get her to do what he wanted. Remember when he told her that no one would eat the Gundruk she made for the potluck because he thought it was gross." Starfire chipped in.
Danny nodded along he fully agreed. Alaska was his favorite.
Dick hadn't actually watched the show but now he was stuck in the middle of the marathon and he finally understood why everyone loved this show.
Raven was actually the biggest fan and loved Whitney Wisteria the Witch.
Danny had successfully chewed through the pacifier only to get a bottle of juice instead because Kori thought he was hungry.
#dc x dp#dpxdc#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#danny fenton#danny phantom#batman#nightwing#dick grayson#koriand'r#beast boy#starfire#dc raven#dc cyborg#teen titans
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youtube
Academic History YouTuber Premodernist released video recently on "State Flag" discourse, and flag discourse more wildly, that I thought was pretty good! I agreed with 50% of it. For those who don't know, there is a longstanding movement in the vexillology community to push for more simplified flag designs, and they hate the state flags of the US as their antithesis; a movement that catapulted into the internet mainstream when YouTuber CGPGrey released a video riffing on that debate and grading all the state flag designs.
That video is great by the way (it's hilarious, CGP Grey is just very talented as a performer), and the biggest thing Premodernist is wrong about is that the state flags do suck. But what he gets right is that the so-called "principles" briefly referred to in the video are themselves pretty weak; some are fine but others do not hold up to much scrutiny. The state flags largely suck for the boring reason that they just suck; they are shitty designs and often repeat each other in a domain where "standing out" is the point. Like what the fuck Montana:
This is something a 5th grader whips up in PowerPoint for a class presentation. Helvetica Bold?? "Mandated by law in 1985" yeah I didn't need Wikipedia tell me this decision dates to the 80's.
But that is boring and subjective, right? You can't just say they suck. So you had to make a theory about it - and I won't go into too much detail but it generally boils down to:
Make it simple, "something a child could draw"
Make it "distinct at a distance", since it is a flag you are supposed to see it at a distance
Three colors or fewer
No words on flags
Which I think you can get the philosophy for. These principles, which CGP Grey outlines, actually come from the work of Ted Kaye, who is a big figure in the aforementioned flag reform movement and the focus of most of the video. As part of the original CGP Grey video I just rolled with that, but I did remember him showing Utah's newly designed flag at the end which embodied these principles, and uh:
This is kind of mid? Like it doesn't suck, but it looks like a corporate redesign of a hockey team logo or something. A bit of a red flag (hah) if your front-and-center case is weak.
Anyway this is what Premodernist digs into in the video. The stuff I agreed with the most are the parts where he just ???? at some of these rules. "No finicky bits", a "child must draw it", "distinct at a distance"? None of these actually track for say this one:
A child drawing the US flag does not draw 50 stars and 13 stripes unless they are a budding librarian; you absolutely cannot tell if this flag has 50 stars on it from a distance, and that level of detail is clearly some kind of finicky. Of course your response is "okay sure but still, I can tell what the flag is from a distance, I can't count the 50 stars but I get the gist". But that is true for almost all flags!
It's a fern and a peace pipe and a brown thing and the word "Oklahoma" below it, you absolutely, 100%, will be able to tell what this flag is at a distance. You don't need to count the leaves to get the general shape, and when you think about it, it is actually kind of silly anyone would claim otherwise. There just isn't any need to appreciate the tiny details on a flag to understand whose flag it is. (the only valid critique here is that everything should be bigger - too much dead space)
Not to mention the "see from a distance" thing even being a metric. That isn't how you encounter flags most often today? Maybe in the 19th century on a battlefield that was (and even then you had battle standards), but it isn't now. You see it in textbooks, on your computer screen, as an icon for a football game team, right next to you in a government office. Why privilege distance? You just made that up as a value. 99% of "flag consumption" is not seeing it at a distance.
The "only use ~3 colors thing" is the funniest, you can just argue this with...no? No you don't. You don't. What? No. You can...you can just use more colors? Here is an example from the "manual" Ted Kaye wrote on the subject:
And the 5 bands on the chinese flag are fine! They are not "hard to look at" or whatever. Also, I am screenshotting a tiny corner of a youtube video, this image is like 240p, and I can tell its a dragon - and that isn't even the color point it is trying to make, dude just deviates off into another critique. Meanwhile the Amsterdam flag looks like a traffic warning sign. Chinese flag needs to not have the white stripe connect into the white seal background, that is an error, but otherwise I prefer it.
It is annoying how many of the state flags are a blue banners with a round seal in the middle. That does make them hard to distinguish from each other. But that isn't a problem with seal-on-blue, that is just a collective action problem! Flag-reform-favourite the tricolor can run into this too - here are the flags of the Netherlands and Luxembourg:
Like one of your needs to go home and change, that is ridiculous. Though if you had a complex seal in the middle that might avoid this problem! Funny that.
Even the "no words on a flag" argument, which I am more sympathetic to, doesn't hold up too well because too often you find yourself going "unless it is good" which just isn't a rule. The Iranian flag is the stand-out he mentions:
The middle crest is a stylized rendition of the name Allah, and the cursive lining on the tricolor bands are text as well - God Is Great, 22 times, marking the anniversary date of the Islamic Revolution. Stylistically beautiful, also words on a flag. The state flags just didn't try to do anything artistic.
I think the best point Premodernism mentions is a sort of stylistic unity Kaye & Co are pursuing above all else - everything sacrificed for corporate minimalism. Kaye's book will say it respects history and symbols should be meaningful, but then hates any symbols that require complexity. He singles out Turkmenistan as an ugly flag for example:
And as I said I only 50% disagree sometimes, I do think there is a complexity limit, and this flag goes over it, that is too detailed. Though the main reason this flag is bad is the weird choice to not put the banner at the edge, and have the crescent just...float off center? If it was this:
Two seconds in paint, already better, you can play with it. But anyway, you can say the symbols are too complex, but if you also say you care about historical meaning? Turkmenistan is a nation of traditional semi-nomadic tribes, who populated the Silk Road and made textiles as their ultimate expression of art. These carpet guls are traditional symbols used in those carpets that represent the five major tribes that compose the country. You can't just invent new symbols that have equal meaning to these, right? Like you can try if you want, sure, new symbols become meaningful all the time. But a rule that says "all art from before 1950 is tossed in the dumpster because it wouldn't pass muster as a Pepsi logo" is a weird rule to adopt if you say you value historical meaning. Turkmenistan does not have to look like France, and it is weird to want every national symbol to be aesthetically coherent to each other. Let 100 flags bloom! It is certainly "distinct at a distance" lol.
Anyway that is enough summarizing of a YouTube video - as I mentioned, he actually likes the state flags, I don't, I do think you have to balance a lot of this with just "general design principles". Never have your name on a flag in Helvetica Bold, amazing I had to write that one down for you. But a lot of these flag-specific rules derived from Kaye's work I often see bandied about are silly, and I was glad to see someone point that out.
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That's Mine | Robert "Bob" Floyd
Summary: Bob likes Rooster. He does. So why does he suddenly hate him when his childhood best friend agrees to go out on a date with the pilot?
Word Count: 5.8k
Warnings: f!reader, 18+ ONLY as always, smut, protected pinv, oral (f receiving), praise!kink, fluff, dirty humour, alcohol mentions, sorry to all the Rooster girlies
Author's Note: This is my official jealous best friend!bob entry for my event International Bob Floyd Fucks Month. Thank you to everyone who has celebrated this silly little thing and continued the Bob Fucks agenda. I just love him so much. Save a Rooster, ride a Bob!
“What do you mean Rooster asked you out?”
He’s hot on your heels through the house, following you out to where you’re watering the ferns on the deck. You can’t see his face, but the simmering annoyance is palpable. In your mind’s eye you can see the little vein that pops out only when he’s seriously irritated. An emotion he reserves only for you.
Who would have guessed that two strangers pairing up for a Mommy & Me class decades ago would evolve into the inseparable, eye-rolling, belly laughing attachment of you and your best friend. He keeps you focused, eyes on the prize and safely home by ten. You bring Robby out of his shell, actually wanting to jump in and join the crowd. Occasionally both giving each other a headache, but always ending with a punch on the shoulder while sharing a carton of Haagen Daas.
You roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him. He’s being so annoying about this Rooster thing.
It’s been four months since you followed him out to San Diego. A quick summons to Top Gun that led to him out in the middle of the ocean while you whined to your roommate about what if he doesn’t come home this time? How could you possibly survive without him infodumping about WWI missiles and whether milk or dark chocolate made better cookies?
And then you’d gotten the call, B.O.B. flashing across the screen and the photo from that summer in high school where he let you paint a butterfly on his face. The mission was successful. He was safe. And he was staying in Fightertown permanently with this squadron. A few months later, when your roommate accidentally lit your stove on fire, he asked if you wanted to come down and stay for a few weeks. By the end of the month you had rented a small craftsman and his truck was a regular fixture outside.
Then a month ago, when he’d swung by after work, khaki uniform freshly pressed, and asked if you wanted to come to the local Navy bar to meet the names he spent so much time talking to you about. Fiddling with the edge of his glasses, nervous you wouldn’t like his new crew as well as the Lemoore squadron you’d spent years befriending. But if they were good enough for Bob, they were good enough for you.
Rooster was hot. All curly auburn hair and big brown eyes. You’d hit it off quickly, the two of you against Phoenix and Bob, sharing stories about your beloved bespectacled WSO and his sassy quip of the day. Phoenix still couldn’t believe that Bob had used a Superbad quote for the high school yearbook. You still remember the horrified look on his mom’s face.
But last night had been different. Phoenix and Bob had huddled a Budweiser cup of peanuts and discussed strategy most of the night, Fanboy rounding off the table once he heard “electronic warfare”. Your best friend’s dedication to work was commendable, but what were you supposed to do at a Navy bar when he was busy? Luckily the baby cow-eyed pilot had taken pity and bought you a round, taking you out to the back deck to appreciate the beach while Hangman rowdily dominated the pool table.
Rooster had been sweet, asking about your childhood with Bob and what you thought of San Diego. Between the kind male attention and the slutty light wash jeans, you were only human for looking up at him through your lashes and flirting a little. And you felt light as air when Bob came outside ready to take you home, your number in Rooster’s phone and a date secured for Friday.
“Seriously? You’re not going to answer me?” Why was annoying Robby so fun? So sweet and calm under the most pressured of situations, every once in a while he prickled.
You finish with the deck plants and retreat back inside, making sure the windowsill babies are plenty hydrated in the late afternoon sun. “Why do you care? You like Rooster.”
It’s alarmingly loud in the silence as he thinks through that one.
Because Bob does like Rooster. He’s a little older, outgoing, the kind of guy he trusts on a life-or-death mission. In the last few months he would even venture to say they’d become more friends than coworkers, Natasha always bringing them together for a night out. So why did it bother him so much when you said you were going out with Rooster tomorrow night?
Instead of answering, he keeps his conflicted thoughts to himself and starts helping with the plants. There’s no point in an argument he’s not going to win, especially when he’s not sure what he’s even fighting for.
You watch him out of the corner of your eye, metal frames glinting in the low afternoon light, gelled hair out of formation from training with his helmet on all day. Maybe you did overstep by agreeing to go out with one of his coworkers. “You want to get street tacos and make fun of C-list celebrities?”
His eyes light up as he nods and overwaters your calathea.
Half a six pack of Mexican lager later and the two of you are sprawled across the living room furniture, Bob’s socked feet up on the coffee table and yours over the arm of the wingback he helped you haul home four years ago. Save the fuzzy tipsiness clouding your senses, you’re transported back to weekend nights in high school. Watching old John Hughes movies and laughing so hard soda shot up your nose. Life has been full of so many incredible opportunities, but evenings in front of the TV with Robby are your most cherished memories.
“Oh my god!” you squeal. “Could he be any more cringeworthy? Put a shirt on!” Your fingers cover your eyes, pretending to be offended by the young twentysomething currently stripping off on your trashy television show of choice.
Bob laughs from his spot on the sofa, beer can dwarfed in that massive hand. “Oh please, you love when they’re half naked for no reason.” He feels that weird tug in his chest for the second time today, but chalks it up to the meat from his street tacos.
You roll your eyes playfully, giving him that toothy smile you’ve perfected since elementary school. “Ya,” you slur a little. “But as my best friend you’re not allowed to judge.”
As if he could find fault in you.
Payback has been talking to him for the past twenty minutes. Bob hasn’t heard a word. Just continues staring at the front door of the Hard Deck like it will magically conjure you.
You’re out with Rooster right now, at that restaurant with the breathtaking ocean view and spicy mozzarella sticks. And while you didn’t tell him, he knows you’re wearing the dress with the eyelet lace and your hair down for once. And you’re probably giving him that toothy grin while he talks about 80’s music and shows you photos of working on the Bronco. You’re likely planning your second date already.
He likes Rooster. He likes Rooster. He likes Rooster. So why does he suddenly hate him?
Payback has completely given up on conversation when the door opens and in strides that floral print smug son of a bitch. Bob’s hand grips the table, grounding himself that it’s not a hallucination. Rooster’s hand is respectfully on your waist, leading you through the throng of Friday night patrons. And you look pretty as can be in that dress, your hair slightly covering your warm cheeks and bashful eyes as a strong man looks after you.
The pilot grins at his squadron, tipping his chin in greeting, knowing he’s got the prettiest girl in the room on his arm. You give Bob a goofy lopsided grin, happy to see him after a lovely night out. Happy that Rooster offered to drop you by before taking you home so you could see your best friend.
There’s nervous energy bubbling under your skin, eager to download about your dinner and drinks, and you wish you were back at home in the kitchen, mugs of hot chocolate in your hands while you and Robby gabbed about your latest romantic excursions like back in the day.
Things were so much simpler when you were seventeen.
Especially because back then he wasn’t weird when you had crushes, or met someone on Hinge. And he certainly didn’t give you that tight lipped frown that you want to smooth off his face. It’s you and him against the world, so why does it suddenly feel like it’s you against him?
“Hey Robby,” you start, giving him your gentlest smile. “You win darts?” He gives a half shrug, picking at his cup of peanuts. Cool, that’s how he’s gonna play it.
You sit next to Rooster at the piano, letting him play a few songs and rally the crowd. You’re a little bored of the repertoire you’ve heard on repeat since your first Hard Deck visit, but give him an encouraging smile nonetheless to be polite.
You like Rooster. But even after a nice night, you know you don’t want to pursue this. Not at the sake of your friendship with Bob.
Everyone’s stomping their feet and slapping their hands to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” when exhaustion hits you. The back of your hand against your mouth signaling that you’ve had enough for one day. The sweet chocolate eyes of your piano partner give you a caring look as he asks if you want him to drive you home. The hope for a goodnight kiss twinkles in his eye.
“No need, I can take her!” It’s instant adrenaline the way the WSO has launched across the room. You rush to thank Rooster for a nice night as he’s left behind on the piano bench. Bob hasn’t said a single word to you all night and yet he’s borderline dragging you out to his truck. The calloused edges of his fingers digging into your bare arm, the soft flannel of his shirt brushing against your hands when he helps you into the truck. They’re all familiar feelings, yet tonight feels different.
He’s completely silent on the drive, the radio playing some alternative rock music barely audible over the silence. He may be quiet with others, happy to take a back seat, but he’s never had an issue piping up with you. It’s punishment. Punishment for trying to have a good time with a guy who you’ve decided you don’t want.
When he parks in front of your cozy craftsman - the house he toured with you, helped you with the paperwork, bought the bubbly to commemorate the occasion - you’re both at a standstill. Last night you’d been able to put your differences aside for trashy television and tacos. Tonight…you’re just hoping he’ll come inside.
“Who do I gotta bang around here to get you to come inside?” His chuckle is weak, eyes looking anywhere but you.
Because while you’re trying to figure out where you’ve gone wrong, Bob has been having an existential crisis since Bradley fuckin’ Bradshaw put his hand on your waist. A crisis that’s been gaining speed since you followed him out to Lemoore all those years ago and has arrived at a screeching halt, crawling out of his throat. And he’s too shy to tell his lifelong best friend what’s been bothering him for as long as he’s known.
You’re…it.
It’s the way you laugh with your entire face. How you always have a comeback. Your endless love for others. The endearing way you order a pancake for the table at brunch. You’ve been the entire package this whole time. And someone seeing it before him is infuriating.
He follows you inside, watching the way the light radiates at the high points of your face. This is going to be harder than expected.
Robert Floyd has known for years that his best friend is amazing. Practically his whole life. Not a single doubt they’d make an incredible partner. The tiniest crush forming at just how good of a partner. Daydreaming about their current arrangement - the movie nights, the early morning beach walks, the Sunday afternoon bubble tea runs - with a dash of domestic bliss had his heart thudding in his chest.
What he hadn’t been prepared for was Wednesday night, when he came to collect you for the drive home. Sitting next to Rooster, a cup of peanuts loosely hanging from your hand as you looked up at the pilot with long lashed eyes and a seductive twitch of a smile. The way you’d bitten your lip when you said goodbye, turning back to Robby with that flirty glint still in your eye; instantly resetting to friendly excitement as you followed him to the parking lot.
He needed to make you look at him like that.
And now here, in your living room, while you hand him a glass of water and look at him with those impossibly pretty eyes - fuck. How does he explain?
You’re concerned, watching the turmoil on his face and convinced you’ve seriously crossed a line this time. You’ve always been the troublemaker of the dynamic, the bursting bubbly energy to his impossibly sweet silence. Won’t he please share what’s on his mind?
He’s not sure if it’s the burning need to release this tension from his body, or the way your face looks so upset at his indecision, but suddenly the dam bursts. All rational thought out the window as he finally speaks up.
“If I don’t fuck you right now I think I might die.”
It’s impossible to tell whose eyes are wider. His in embarrassment that came out and so whiny. Yours in total shock. Your brain has blue screened and all you can do is blink slowly back into focus, centering on the pink cheeks and bashful baby blue eyes in front of you.
Licking your lips, you sputter out, “W-what?”
You both know you heard him. It was impossible not to with the intense neediness dripping out of every syllable. His carnal need to know what you feel like, taste like. The way those thick, long fingers of his tensed on his knee.
A thousand emotions pass behind your eyes, reflected in his glasses. A handful of ways to handle this situation, but only one makes sense.
“Come over here. We can’t have you dying, now can we?”
There is nothing graceful about the collision of bodies that happens. Navy-trained strength meeting enthusiastic energy. He’s across the room before you can finish your sentence, the slight pause of uncertainty met with your bound into his arms. Warm lips finding each other, hesitant yet sure. The hands on your hips are familiar in a different circumstance.
The waves crashing down on Bob’s brain slow, and he’s instantly soothed as he enjoys the subtle tang to your taste. You’ve worn the same perfume for the last decade, yet this is the first time it’s driven him wild. Pulling back, he takes a deep breath to fill his lungs with the perfect scent. His fingers, fast as light when he works controls, are slow and controlled over the curve of your waist.
“I hate that Rooster touched you. You’re mine.”
“I’m yours?’
He leans forward, gaze level, breaths intermingling. “You’re mine.”
Eyes wide, glossy lip between your teeth…Bob hasn’t seen anything sexier in his life. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers scratching along his scalp as you fight for dominance in your kisses. He’s gaining confidence the longer you moan into his mouth, a sinful sound he wasn’t prepared to hear. Years of listening to you talk about dates and crushes, and now he’s experiencing it first hand.
You’re caught up in the way he’s trailing his large hands up and down your torso, tentatively brushing against the curve of your ass. Waiting for him to call the shots for what happens next. Frustrated he hasn’t already spread you out on the stupidly expensive cotton duvet he convinced you to buy.
“Robby?” He hums, lips preoccupied with your neck. “Not to be ungrateful, but I thought you were going to fuck me?”
The deep scarlet that spreads across your best friend’s cheeks is one for the record books. Jackpot.
He’s practically falling over himself, hands everywhere at once as he collects his thoughts. “You’re sure…you’re sure you want this?”
The seething jealousy that’s consumed him since Wednesday has dissipated, and the horny fog has lifted temporarily. All that’s left is ensuring you’re both on the same page. Once this happens, there’s no going back. As much as he’s looking forward to taking off that pretty dress, you need to be ready to make the same leap.
Swallowing a deep breath, drowning in those eager cerulean blues, you shift your thigh to press against the bulge in his jeans. A bulge all the girls in Lemoore talked about when they thought you weren’t listening. There’s a curiosity burning in you, a need to know if he’s just as sweet in bed as he is when he’s picking you up or helping with dinner. Things have always been platonic - they needed to be, you wouldn’t have survived a childhood crushing on the bespectacled sweetheart who grew up to be an incredible man.
You know the risks, but the rewards are greater. Life is too short to not experience fucking Robert Floyd.
A kiss to his lips. A wink. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”
You sound like children giggling on the playground as you run down the hall to your bedroom, trying not to trip on the hall runner as he presses you against the wall to pepper you in scorching kisses. Breathy laughs as you explore this new part to your dynamic. Overwhelming lust mixed with lifelong companionship.
Once you make it to the bedroom - that supima bedspread underneath you, his hips cradled against yours - the innocent giggles dissipate as you take in the man above you. No longer the pink-cheeked child, the gawky teenager, Robby is nothing but height and strength and…broad? When did he get so broad? Naturally so meek and unassuming, the pure size of him is unexpected. But pinning you to the bed with those veiny hands and strong thighs, a collision of attraction overwhelms you.
There’s nothing delicate about the way he grinds his hips into yours, whimpers leaving both your lips. Your panties are soaked, he’s stretching the front of his jeans. Desperation fills the space between you.
His lips wander from your jaw, your neck, the space behind your ear, all the way to your passion-swollen lips. His voice is unsure, but hopeful, as he whispers against them, “Can I go down on you?”
Your eyes bloom wide - not only because you’d like nothing more, but you’ve remembered something from years ago. Something at the time you’d tried to forget. A night out with the Lemoore crew at that shoddy bar, everyone drunk after being out at sea for weeks, and you sat near the back waiting for Bob to come back with drinks. A small group of female aviators sat at the next table over, having clocked the shy WSO on his way to the bar. One had giggled, her friends shooting her a questioning glance. You’ll never forget when she replied, “I’d heard the rumors and didn’t believe them, but can confirm that Bob Floyd eats pussy like a starving man. Best hour of my life.”
As soon as he sees your slightly too eager nod, he’s working his way down your body, appreciating the feel of your dress and soft skin. Breath held as he officially breaches out of friend territory and lifts the hem, treating himself to the satin he can’t wait to pull aside.
Lip worried between your teeth, a whimper is punched out of you when a hot mouth secures itself around your mound, thick tongue exploring the crevices of your covered folds. A finger slips itself along your entrance, bringing to attention the soaked material.
“Someone’s excited.” The lust-driven chuckle against your thigh has you shivering. “You want me to eat your sweet little pussy?”
He’s never used that voice on you, husky and mocking. You’re shaking with desire, for him to stop teasing and give you what you want. An hour ago he was just your friend, and now you’ve never felt so needy for a man’s touch. So far gone you don’t even notice the desperate nod you give him.
He presses another wet kiss to your clothed clit before wrapping his long fingers in the fabric. Prompting you to lift up slightly so he can have unimpeded access to this feast. Skimming his nose along your thighs, hot air directly on your slick cunt. The whimpers escaping you doing nothing but prolonging the teasing.
Bob can feel how you tremble, the way your fingers are smoothing over the bedspread in an effort to self-soothe. He’s satisfied that he’s gotten you as frustrated and ill-content as he’s felt for years. Needing something, not knowing if you’ll like it, but knowing that if you don’t have it you’ll never feel satisfied.
His fingers spread you out. Head dips. The lightest touch of his tongue to damp arousal.
Holy fuck. He does eat pussy like a starving man. Pushing his face in closer and closer, his tongue reaching for every inch of the promised land. His fingers wrapped around your thighs, pulling you in. Hot, wet muscle opening you up as he drools.
Eyes unfocused, you’re in a new dimension and yet he’s enjoying it more.
That deliciously fuzzy feeling starts to tingle in your stomach, pressure building between your thighs as your best friend helps himself. Blunt nails raking up and down your legs to ground you in the experience. The sharp edge of his metal frames occasionally snagging on the skin. They alone make you want to cry to the heavens. But it’s the way he’s sloppily forcing his tongue into your cunt, lewd noises ringing around the room, that has you clamping your lips shut to not wake all of San Diego.
He senses that you’re holding back, not giving him everything he wants. You’ve been best friends since day one, he knows when you not being authentic.
That delicious tongue withdraws from your thighs and you can feel his stare on you. Waiting patiently for you to make eye contact. The pussy drunk, yet concerned look he gives you as he nudges you. “It’s okay, it’s me. I’m never going to judge you.”
Blue eyes meet yours. The same blue eyes that have consistently seen you safely out the other side of any bad situation the two of you have faced. That always comes home from deployment so matter how much you worry. The same ones that you know will guide and protect you on this journey as well. He’s your best friend. No one else can keep you this safe.
After your nod, he dips his slick lips back to your core, his smile upon your skin. Quickly losing himself in your flavor as he nudges you back open. His own hips rocking against the mattress as you allow your bitten lips to part, moans and whimpers and sharp intakes of breath filling the air. Losing yourself in his over-and-above technique to bring you to the edge.
His own muted moans vibrate against your core. Dexterous tongue and calloused middle finger (followed quickly by another) sliding in and out with ease. It’s too much and not enough, overwhelming your senses and making your brain whirr. Skin slick with sweat as that fuzzy feeling in your stomach returns and your feet tingle. Your eyes gazing unfocused down at Robby, hopelessly turned on at his dedication to making you feel good.
“C’mon, be good for me.”
His muffled words stretch the string and bring you home, thighs clamping around his damp face as a scream escapes your throat. Fingers twisting in the bedspread. Back arching. The view has him slack jawed and starry eyed, fingers still pumping in and out to prolong your orgasm. A slight tilt of his lips into a smile at how content you are when he finally catches your gaze through labored breaths.
Your brain slowly comes back to you, thoughts racing through sludge. Eyes fixed on cerulean as a smile stretches your lips. “Where the fuck did you learn to do that?”
He laughs, a surprised, carefree sound as he uses your thighs to help himself up the bed. Gives you a little wink as he grins, “It can get kind of boring on deployment.”
“Recon and intelligence protection missions are boring?”
“Yeah, when you’re not there to annoy me.” His dimples are out in full force, laughter twinkling out of every pore on his perfect face. You slug him a little, your orgasm still working its way through your body. The urge to roll over and sleep just as strong as the urge to shove him in your cunt through his jeans.
You’ve had a taste and you need more.
He’s already one step ahead of you, shrugging the soft flannel and faded tshirt from his body. Gently cranes you in his arms as he helps unzip and lift your dress above your head. The garbled choking sound and intake of breath when he realizes you aren’t wearing a bra makes you proud. You’ve always thought Bob was attractive in an understated, sweet way. To know he’s attracted to you makes any doubt about this situation indefinitely fade.
Sitting in front of him, not a scrap of fabric on you, you feel good. He’s the best guy you know, the one you have always sung his praises because there’s literally no one better. The only difference between a friendship and a relationship is sex. That’s all that’s been missing.
It’s time to take the plunge.
You swallow his lips with yours, fingers twisting in his sun-lightened hair. His arms wrapping around you, holding you secure to him. Both of you gasping at the feeling of your bare torsos touching. It’s electric. It’s satisfying. It’s grounding.
Hands quick to unzip his jeans, laughing as he tries to help only for you to bat him away. “You got to undress me, I want to undress you.”
The groan he emits reverberates. You’re so sexy and it’s driving him crazy. There was his fleeting crush in high school, but this…this is beyond his wildest dreams. Allowing your soft fingers to dip below the waist of his boxers, shimmying the denim and cotton down his legs. Your lips struck open in awe at the heavy, hard, thick appendage resting against his thigh.
“You tell me every secret you have, and yet you keep the python in your pants to yourself?” He laughs, a hand wrapping around the base as you flounder to mentally combine Robby, your meek best friend, with the red-tipped joyride protruding from his pelvis.
He helps himself to a condom from the box in the nightstand - the one you jokingly said you’d never use when he watched you unpack. You’re almost worried it’s going to be too small, but he glides it on with ease before lowering you both onto the bed, biceps straining as he adjusts. Bob can feel your slick center against the bottom of his dick and it’s taking everything in him to not make himself at home.
As you prepare yourself for what’s about to be a hell of a stretch, he kisses the top of your breasts, skimming his nose against your soft skin. Even in this moment his main priority is making you comfortable and feel safe. “We can go slow, it’s okay.”
But where Bob is safe and secure, you’re adventurous, curious. You want to know what he feels like now.
The wild fire of your eyes bores into his calm ocean blue. “Where’s the fun in that?”
A shift of hips and he’s slipping through, arousal and spit gently gliding the tip of him in. Your fingers twist in his hair, pulling on the Navy-approved length at the nape of his neck. A sharp tug that prompts a yelp as he drives his hips forward, slipping inch after inch into you. Your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you struggle to adjust. Fuck, he’s so big.
He’s kissing your temple, whispering how good you’re being for him. I know it hurts, you’re doing so well, almost there, baby. His thumb sliding between your bodies to rub pointed circles on your clit. He’s barely started and you’re already leaving your body, watching yourself be stuffed to the brim.
The neatly trimmed hairs of his pelvis poke along your clit and you’re proud of yourself for taking all of him. Nudging Bob softly to move because you’re uncomfortably full. Back arching into his strong chest as he explores parts of you that you didn’t know existed.
In no time at all he’s thrusting with all his power, leaving you a moaning mess. Fingers clutching to any sweaty skin you can find, nails leaving their mark. He’s red-faced and huffing above you, eyes switching between your blissed out expression and the way your breasts sway with his heavy thrusts. This is heaven. This is everything. Why did he wait to say anything?
Suddenly you’re pawing at his chest, pushing him to roll over. “C’mon Floyd, let me rock your world now.”
He’s pretty sure you could blow him a kiss and rock his world, but he’s definitely not complaining about the view. The silhouette of you against the San Diego moon - big beaming smile and tight nipples. Wishes he had a camera to forever commemorate the first of many times you ask to ride him. A picture book of your perfect face all the way down to you split over his dick with different backgrounds.
From this angle it’s tight, but you’re not a quitter. Rocking your hips to loosen up, hands finding purchase on his chest. His big smile is back, eyes completely dilated while he can’t decide where to look. You’re seeing stars and he’s seeing diamonds.
Once rhythm comes to you, you’re bouncing, loving the way he fills you to the hilt each time. His encouraging smile behind golden rims. You’re with someone who knows the real you, who encourages you to be your best self. And with his strong, veiny hands wrapped around your waist, helping along your movements, you know he’s…it.
It’s hard to tell where your moans end and his start, both of you polluting the air with inhales and groans mixed with the occasional squelch of sex. Your skin is shimmering, thighs begging for reprieve. You can’t get enough of the way he perfectly fills you every time.
Sensing your exhaustion, he brings you closer, slotting his mouth over yours in a filthy, sloppy kiss. Starting to meet your thrusts as you inch closer and closer to your orgasm. Having to calm himself before he ruins your rhythm. The idea of you cumming on his cock has him dizzy. You rake your fingers through his hair one last time, eyes unable to meet as your lashes flutter, and he knows. You’re here, he’s gotten you to the edge.
That big hand on your lower back soothes as you clench for the final time, pulsing. You’ve officially left Earth, watching yourself convulse on top of Robby while he rocks himself up into you. “Good girl…yeah, that’s right…feels so good, huh?”
Forget the best sex of your life, this orgasm can never be topped.
You’re half-heartedly pressing kisses to his forehead as he begin the descent to his own orgasm. Feet flat to the mattresses as he cants his hips up, desperate to drive every inch into you. The fluttering of your cunt the most amazing thing he’s ever felt, catapulting him over the edge quicker than any partner he’s had before. Shoving his face into your neck, licking at your salty skin, he knows his release is inevitable.
“C’mon Robby, cum for me.”
All reason leaves him and he bites down, lips securing over the delicate slope of your neck. A while light flashes behind his eyes and he’s filling up the condom, squeezing out every ounce of release. He suckles the skin, soothing himself as his spent body blinks back to life. Smiles sheepishly when he meets your eyes, as you smile at him sweetly.
Words don’t exist as you hold each other under the covers, tracing skin and giggling when the other finds a ticklish spot. At some point he disposes of the condom, but you’re still not fully there. Everything is good and special and you want to live in this moment forever.
When Bob strolls into the Hard Deck Saturday night, one arm looped around your waist, everything was right in his world.
His colleagues and friends sat in the back near the pool table, sipping beers and winning a game against another squadron. The two of you stroll up, looking decidedly more friendly than they’ve ever seen. Especially when Bob won’t let go of your waist and you keep touching him.
You can’t help it. You’ve gotten a taste and now you’re insatiable.
The group takes in their WSO, standing a little taller than usual with his uncontrollable grin. And then they take in you, beaming, all smiles, looking right at home by Bob’s side in your tight jeans and cute little top. A cute little top that perfectly shows off the dark purpling mark mottling on your collar - teeth marks still visible in the right light.
While Robby confirms your drink order, there is stunned silence from the other half of the pool table. Mouths agape, a gleam of pride in Jake’s eye. Phoenix picks herself up first, eyes blinking rapidly at the sudden realization of last night’s events. Clocks that you went out with Rooster, yet went home with Floyd.
“So, uh, what happened there?” She gestures to the obvious love bite. One that definitely wasn’t there when the group saw you last.
You bite your lip and look at your lifelong best friend. The guy who showed you his love last night…and then several more times this morning. His crinkled eyes drift from yours to the spot where he bit down as he came for you for the first time.
Turning to look at his squadron, he plays it cool and shrugs, mumbling through his blush, “Can’t blame me for making sure no one else plays with my toys.”
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Okay wait! We need more fae farm Sans please! that was too good! What would it look like when Sans's secret is revealed?
HFKDSJ okay, here's some more.
I really don't think he'd be too worried about it, when you discover his otherworldly nature. Because neither would you. Everyone already knows he's kind of strange, rumours of him not being 'normal' are abound. At that point, you would've already spent many moons getting to know him, being vulnerable without even realising - and you'd be living in a world where fae aren't uncommon at all. He's already proven himself a trustworthy friend. Why would you be scared of him?
... Especially since you have no reason to believe he's anything other than normal fae.
What you (a human) might forget is that the fair folk are not a homogeneous group. Some fae even other fae fear. He's one such entity.
It's difficult to tell if he's more powerful than Dream or Nightmare, considering he spends all his time... well, farming. It's also difficult to compare them because while all three are very ancient, they trace back to very different lineages. Dream and Nightmare are fae of butterflies, flowers, mushrooms, trees, seasons. Farmer is of ferns - of bogs, of gingkos, pine and moss.
Yall remember my Forest God AU? He's like if a Forest God got its act together, and just decided to settle down in a humanoid form. He's lived long enough to know what really matters... things like soft socks, a place to call home, the eyes and lips of a human you love.
He calls you "chickadee". It's his favourite bird.
People from the nearby village will giddily ask if you and Farmer are 'courting'. The delightful but mysterious bachelor finally has someone he likes? Everyone's rooting for him!
You have a very important role, on his farm. Very very important. You're his preserves tester. How is he supposed to know his jams and chutneys are any good, without someone of refined palate to assist him?
He has a really wonderful singing voice.
Old habits die hard; he still likes to trade. But the trades are silly, and often just an excuse for him to play. You want to hear him sing again? Better 'trade' by agreeing to cuddle up by the fire with him. You want another song, because the last sounded so ancient and beautiful and unlike anything you've ever heard? Try his spiced rice pudding, then he'll think about it.
His favourite food is roasted chestnuts.
His farm rests on the boundary between the fae and human worlds. You can enter from either side - and if you're not careful, leave on the wrong side. Farmer always walks you the right way, but if someone he doesn't like decides to make their leave, he might not be so attentive to where they're going.
You can stay at his farm without turning into fae. Alternatively, if you enter his property from the fae side, your transformation into fae is paused.
Wouldn't be surprised if he can reverse an incomplete transformation.
He talks fondly, but in the past tense, about a brother.
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Devastating: confirmation-bias graphs are coming onto the dash with no clearly labeled axes and obvious typos
#fern muses#guys I know this is the can't-do-math website but please remember to check sources!!! ESPECIALLY if it's something you agree with!!!
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Would love to see something on possesive/protective Alex Keller if you're up for the challenge! Otherwise let's go Soap! 😍
While I know Alex Keller from the game, I’ve never written for him, but I have written for Soap (a lot!) so I’ll be talking about Soap’s possessive/protective behavior.
Most of these headcanons are with gn!reader with one or two exceptions. Enjoy!
Content & Warnings (MDNI): possessive/protective behavior (obvi), suggestive themes, one brief NSFW headcanon at the end
Word Count: 536
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // 1k follower event masterlist
Of all the 141, he’s not really one to hide his emotions or be silent about something that he doesn’t agree with. He’s fairly upfront, but in private, I can see Johnny being more protective/possessive with his significant other.
In public he might put an arm around his partner to show that they belong to him, but behind closed doors, Johnny is marking them. Loves bites are his specialty, and he always puts them in spots where no one will see them but him and his partner.
Johnny prefers it when you wear his clothes because it leaves his smell behind on your skin. It’s just another way for him to mark you, and while you might notice, Johnny does, which means others do.
While out shopping, running errands, etc., Johnny likes to act as a buffer. While he’s good about giving you plenty of space, he is also good about picking up on when others might get to close to you. Johnny is really spot on about making sure others respect your bubble. They can get in his, but not yours.
When it comes to social gatherings, events, and parties, Johnny is the life of the party, and he knows that you’re there to have fun too. While he will genuinely leave you alone to spend time with others, he is always keeping a close eye. If someone is being overly friendly, Johnny will step in but he’ll always be polite the first time. Second time? Not so much.
Sometimes Johnny can’t help himself when the two of you are out. If the two of you are at a party, he might insist that you sit in his lap.
Johnny’s protective/possessive instincts skyrocket if you’re pregnant. While he’d usually never outright act on these tendencies in public, he’s more likely to do so when you’re carrying his child.
Johnny would absolutely lean down to inhale your scent when its been too long.
Maybe it’s the stresses of his work, but sometimes Johnny can’t help but see danger everywhere. He doesn’t always fall into this headspace—and it can often be difficult for him to get out of it—but it certainly activates those instincts. He’s more likely to stand close to you, to give the people around the two of you the “stink eye” if he thinks they’re far too close (they usually aren’t).
Touching you in public is a show of possession. This could be something small like an arm across your shoulders but could also be his hand planted on your butt.
PDA is another way Johnny shows possession. He might hug and kiss you openly in front of others, and if he’s feeling really bold (especially after a few drinks) he might even smack your ass.
In public together, Johnny keeps tabs on you, making sure you’re always in his line of sight. Otherwise, if you’re going out somewhere, he’ll keep a close eye on his phone’s “find my” feature, making sure you’re safe and where you should be.
For a more NSFW headcanon: Johnny loves nothing more than finishing inside you, knowing that you’ll only do that for him. Might even pull your hair and call you “mine” during the act.
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#soap call of duty#soap mw2#soap mactavish#soap cod#john soap mactavish#soap mactavish fanfic#soap headcanons#soap x reader#soap x you#johnny soap mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x you#john soap mactavish fanfic#john soap mactavish imagine#john soap mactavish fanfiction#johnny mactavish#soap fanfiction#soap fanfic#john mactavish fic#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish fanfiction#john mactavish smut#john mactavish imagine#john soap mctavish x reader#john soap x reader#john soap mctavish x you#john soap mctavish smut#cod fanfiction#cod headcanons#cod soap
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re last reblog: i’m so glad i have a friend group i can message in and people will tell me if my take is wrong and explain why
#it’s nice to not be in an echo chamber and also not get yelled at when i don’t agree with someone#go away fern
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The Tortured Fangirl's Department - My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys
| Paul Lahote x human!reader
summary: Paul hates you, but imprinted on you. He's not happy about it. 🐺🌲⛰️🌧️
cw: violence, gore, toxic relationship, Paul being an asshole, drinking
an: forever #teampaul.
Part Two
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You arrived in Forks on a research grant, studying Old Wood Forests for your Masters Degree in Environmental Science. As you conduct your research, you feel more and more at home in Washington, and immerse yourself in the local community and history.
The more you learn about the history of the Quileute Tribe and it's connection to the surrounding ecosystem, the more you dig, until eventually you uncover a secret never meant for human eyes.
The Quileutes are a pack of werewolves, living in secret on the Reservation.
Of course, they quickly figure out that you're onto them, and you're dragged into a harrowing trial with Chief Billy Black and the pack’s alpha, Sam Uley. After hours of deliberation, and you begging for your life, they decide to allow you to live on one condition: you remain in Forks and never publish what you've found.
You agree instantly, grateful to be spared, and the pack brings you into the inner circle, including putting you up in a small house on the edge of La Push.
All seems to have worked out swimmingly, until Emily invites you to the alpha’s home for a bonfire so you can formally meet everyone.
Paul Lahote was livid when he learned that Sam had spared you. An outsider, a traitor. If it was up to him, you would have long ago been forest food, their secrets safe within the soil.
Paul had never met you, but he didn't trust you, didn't like the way you weaseled yourself into his beloved family. You were good as dead, as far as he was concerned.
That is, until he walks into Emily's kitchen, finding you peeling potatoes at the table, laughing at some joke Embry told, and his world imploded.
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Six months later
Whoever said imprinting was the world's greatest blessing was full of fucking shit.
Paul glared at you across the fire, nibbling on a s’more and nursing a beer as if you fucking belonged here. Those were his beers. The packs s'mores.
What he would really like to know, is where you got the fucking audacity.
“Think louder, would’ya?” Jacob teased, knocking his shoulder. “She figured out what was making the fern grove sick, she deserves a beer.”
Paul rolled his eyes, throwing back the rest of his beer and stomping off to the booze table. Who cares about fucking plants, anyways?
You flicked your h/c hair over your shoulder, the glossy waves reflecting the orange firelight. Seth cracked some lame joke and you burst out laughing, the sound like the first spring rain.
Pain bloomed in chest, an ache he felt to the marrow, and he had to grip the table to stay upright, had to look away from your pretty smile. A war waged within him. Make you laugh again, or ensure it's your final one?
The table cracked under his grip.
“Lahote,” Sam warned in his mind. “Easy.”
Paul eased his grip, tried to control his breathing, his anger. He'd worked so hard on managing his rage, he wouldn't let you ruin that progress.
You'd already ruined everything else in his life.
Carefully, he stepped away, ensuring the table wasn't about to collapse before sitting back down beside Jacob with a fresh beer. He should just go inside, or out on a patrol. Anything but sit here and suffer your existence.
But something rooted him to the log, periodically scanning the perimeter behind you to ensure nothing pale and sparkly lurked in the shadows.
If anything would have the pleasure of ending your little existence, it would be him.
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Paul seemed extra scowly tonight, his handsome face pinched in perpetual disdain.
You laughed a little louder at Seth's decidedly not funny impersonation of Sam, just to see Paul's frown deepen. And it did, his ire as predictable as a clock.
You knew he had imprinted on you, everyone within a ten miles radius knew he imprinted on you, but somehow, it only seemed to deepen his loathing.
If only they'd seen his face when he first saw you.
It was probably cruel of you to exploit his involuntary affliction, but you just couldn't help yourself. He just made it so easy. And it didn't help that he was hot as fuck when the claws came out.
You polished off your beer, enjoying the gentle buzz humming in your veins. A terrible, wicked idea popped into your head.
Moving towards the table, you snagged a bottle of whiskey, the one you happened to know was Paul's favorite, and poured yourself a micro shot. His dark eyes were already on you, glaring a hole into your back. Fighting a smirk, you slammed the shot back. You let out a small, deliberate moan as the alcohol burned its way through the chill lingering on your skin.
Every unpaired wolf perked up a bit at the sound, those whores, and you could practically feel the rage buffeting off Paul as he stared at you.
“You have a deathwish, girl.” Leah teased, offering you another shot. “I like it.”
You grinned up at her, accepting the liquor. Leah flinched then, her smile pulling into a grimace, and she took the shot back before you could drink it.
“You might have a deathwish, but I sure don't.” She swallowed the shot herself, patted you sympathetically on the shoulder, and returned to her spot by Seth.
The rest of the night, the pack continued to snatch drinks from you. You couldn't even sneak a sip, with their ridiculous hearing and sense of smell catching you as soon as the alcohol touched your lips.
Even Seth slapped a shot out of your hand.
“What the fuck!” You shouted at him, your buzz very nearly gone.
Seth winced. “His orders,” he said, tilting his head towards Paul, who was busy tearing into a turkey leg.
I think the fuck not.
You marched over to him, snatched his sweating, unopened can of beer off the table, and jammed your pocket knife into it. With a crack, you opened it and pressed your mouth to the hole, shot-gunning it in ten seconds flat.
A personal record.
As soon as you dropped the empty can onto the ground, you regretted all of your life choices.
Paul was on you before you had a chance to step backwards, one massive hand around your throat, the other gripping your pocket knife.
Terror lanced through you, and you watched his pupils dilate as he started down you, white teeth bared. It took you a moment to register that you could still breathe, that he wasn't actually hurting you. In fact, he'd been handling that poor turkey leg more roughly that he was currently holding you.
“Leah was right,” he growled, the sound raising the hair on your arms. “You do have a deathwish.”
“You don't get to control what I can and can't do,” you bit back, pushing your face closer to his to prove that you weren't afraid.
Even though you definitely were afraid, and a little aroused. But mostly afraid.
His nostrils flared when a pulse of desire made your pussy clench, but you couldn't find it in yourself to embarrassed. You knew you turned him on too. And it didn't help that your bodies fit together too right, a jagged pair of puzzle pieces.
“Paul, back off,” Sam ordered. The pack was frozen around you, afraid that one wrong move would result in you losing your throat.
Paul squeezed a little tighter, letting you feel the power he had in this moment. It would be nothing for him to crush your windpipe, to snap your neck.
He leaned in a little closer, his breath tickling the hair around your ear. “I think I can,” he whispered.
He took a step back, and as soon as his hand fell away, Jacob tackled him in his wolf form, creating several feet of space between you.
Paul shifted then, his grey wolf exploding from within, and knocked Jacob backwards. They began to fight in earnest, growling and gnashing as they tumbled through the grass.
Guilt killed the last dregs of your buzz, and your ego. Why did you have to push him? Nothing good could come of it, and it only made him hate you more.
You took off towards your house before the fighting could get any worse, kicking yourself for being so fucking stupid.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Y/n didn't come around for two weeks after that, except to go the store or the library. Paul would know, your house was his first and last stop on every perimeter check.
He'd been visiting even more the last week or so, your absence an unbearable itch under his skin. It was like missing a front tooth, a constant distraction, and he couldn't not prod at it, even though it hurt.
The feeling of your fluttering pulse beneath his fingers became the rhythm of his life. It was burned into his memory, the way you looked up at him, eyes round with fear, the smell of your arousal reaching like hands to squeeze his brain, lulling the beast in his mind to docility.
Every time he looked at you, he saw his forever. A forever of home cooked meals, laughter, warmth. A life that was stolen from him. A life he didn't deserve.
He refused to be domesticated. Especially not by a nosy, manipulative, stubborn little human like you.
It was better you stayed away. That was what he wanted this entire time. Wasn't it?
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
You couldn't not attend Jacobs birthday party, no matter how badly you wanted to avoid a certain dagger-eyed dime piece.
So you put on a bikini, wide-leg jeans, and an oversized quarter zip, and made your way to the beach. God knows why he wanted to have a bonfire on the beach in fucking October, but it's not like they got cold.
You and Emily would have to stick it out together. Hopefully Sam was considerate enough to pack a blanket.
Everyone was already on the beach, splashing in the frozen water or chatting around the fire. Seth spotted you first.
“Y/n!” He shouted, bounding over to you, shirtless and sandy.
“Are you insane?” You laughed. “It's like 40 degrees!”
“Aw, c’mere.” He wrapped you up in a bear hug, the heat of his skin chasing away the chill already biting through your clothes.
You buried your nose into his shoulder, the tip already numb. “Fuck you guys, seriously,” you mumbled.
Suddenly, Seth was wrenched away from you and you stumbled forward, into a tan brick wall of muscle.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Paul snapped, righting you on the uneven sand before quickly dropping his hands.
“My house?” You answered, quirking an eyebrow. Rarely did he ever address you this directly. Your pulse raced in your chest, terrified, thrilled to see him again. Did he miss me?
“Why?” He demanded.
You couldn't answer him. What were you supposed to say, that you were hiding from him? That you were embarrassed by your own desperation to be close to him? That you craved his attention, his touch, even if it was rough?
At every interaction, he broke you a little bit more. Left you rougher around the edges. But a part of you loved it, craved it. His passion made you feel alive.
“Got sick of your fucking attitude,” you said instead. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to say hello to the birthday boy.” You pushed past him, trudging through the sand to Jacob, who was watching from the edge of the water with a bewildered expression.
You shirked your clothes as you went, not caring about the cold any more. Your loathing, your hunger, would keep you warm.
Down to your cherry red bikini, you threw your arms around Jacobs neck, pressing a loud, smacking kiss into his cheek. “Happy birthday, Jake!”
He kept his arms wide, chuckling nervously. “Thanks, y/n. I think the water is a little cold for you—”
“Don't care!” You sing-songed, releasing him and wading deeper into the water. It was definitely too cold for you, the bones in your feet already aching and tingly.
“Just don't get your hair wet—”
You dove into the water, the temperature knocking the air from your lungs, making your whole body clench in aversion. You popped up on the other side, splashing an arc of water at him. “I'll live,” you replied.
He shrugged, splashing you back, and you played in the water with other wolves until your lips started to turn blue, your body shivering too hard to stand upright.
“Y/n, out of the water!” Sam shouted from the shore.
“B-b-but I'm h-hav-ving f-f-f-fun!”
“Now.”
“I'm f-f-fin-n-ne!”
Suddenly, you were airborne, strong arms scooping you up out of the water with a thick blanket. You yelped in surprise, looking up to see Paul, still dressed despite being waist-deep in the water, bundling you into his chest with the blanket wrapped around you.
“H-hey!” You protested, a violent shiver making your teeth clack together.
“Another word and I'll drown you,” he snapped, tucking your toes against his scalding hot ribs as he carried you out of the water.
“F-f-fuck y-y-ou!”
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Paul held you close to his chest, your body shaking so hard it was difficult to keep the quilt tucked around you. Your lips were far too blue for his liking, and your teeth were chattering so hard he feared they might crack.
Jacob should have never let you get into that water—no, you weren't Jacob’s responsibility. You were his, as loath as he was to admit it.
You curled into him, the tip of your nose an icecube against his clavicle. “S-s-sorry,” you mumbled.
He looked down at you, shocked.
“For almost killing yourself? Why would I give a shit?”
You fell quiet again, and guilt stabbed him through the chest. He heard your heart rate begin to slow, the cold still taking it's toll. You were so frozen, steam was rising from his skin where you touched, leaving a trail as he carried you to the fire.
He set you down on a pile of blankets as close as he could get to the fire without burning your eyelashes off. He wrapped you up in a dry quilt, then another, and planted himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, his legs on either side of yours.
“W-what are you—”
“Not a word,” he growled. You were still shivering, your familiar scent tinged with salt water and traces of Jacob and Seth.
He fought against the jealous rage that stirred in stomach, instead focusing on your heart rate, your unsteady breathing.
The pack circled nervously, unsure if they should intervene. When Seth came a little too close, mumbling something about your clothes, Paul growled, a low, menacing rumble from his chest, and Seth scampered off.
The scent of fear spiked when he growled, and he found himself shushing you, burying his head into the blankets against the back of your neck. It was involuntary, acting on the urge to comfort you before he'd even processed it. But it seemed to settle you, so he remained.
It settled him too, the now rhythmic thump of your heart, your even, almost drowsy breathing.
“Can Emily give her a drink?” Sam asked a little while later through the mind connection, almost at a whisper so Paul didn't startle.
“Yes,” Paul answered, and a few moments later, Emily appeared, passing a steaming mug of hot chocolate in your hands.
The chocolatey smell mixed with your scent was almost too much, so sweet and decadent. He was beginning to melt like the giant marshmallow on top.
“Hey,” you whispered after a few sips, your voice back to normal
He didn't correct you for speaking, his eyes closed as he wallowed in your scent like a dog in the mud.
“Paul.”
“Hm?” He grunted, lifting his head.
“I'm starting to sweat.”
Reality rushed back to him, shattering the haze in him mind. What the fuck was he doing? You fooled him, just like you fooled the rest of them.
He wrenched away from you, springing to his feet. Your scent was all over him, embedded in his skin, his hair. Driving him insane. You drove him fucking insane.
“Paul, wait.” You scrambled to your feet, dropping one of the blankets, flashing him a glimpse of your little bikini as you reached for him. Fuck, how did he forget your were in a bikini?
“Fuck off, y/n,” he snarled, and you staggered back.
“But—”
“The only reason I pulled you out of that fucking water because of you die, I do to. I don't fucking care about you, imprint or not. You mean nothing to me. You're better off getting that through your thick fucking skull.” The words spilled out before he could stop them, brutal and scathing, and he watched your heart break.
Maybe if he left you in a pile of broken parts on the fucking floor, he'd finally be rid of you.
The wolf came then, shredding the last of his humanity, and he took off into the woods, diving through bushes and trees to scrape your scent off his fur.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Paul left you there, broken on the beach. Sam and Embry followed him into the woods, but the others descended on you, concern clear of their faces.
But you shrugged them off and let Emily, Emily only, walk you home.
You cried yourself to sleep, confused, hurt, angry, devastated. You'd felt something when he held you, like he was holding all of your pieces together, whole for the first time in your life, only to smash you apart again.
You didn't understand, couldn't understand, what he was feeling. Why he was so against this connection that was between you. It's not like he could escape it. The imprint wouldn't magically vanish.
You were tethered together, for better or worse.
For the next several weeks, he avoided you like the plague. If you entered the same room as him, he would leave it. If you walked through town, he'd disappear into the woods.
This place you'd fallen in love with was starting to feel like a prison. Both of you were trapped here, orbiting each other like hostile satellites.
Late one night, you were having a glass of wine at Emily's when frantic voices floated through the open window.
Emily was immediately on her feet, rummaging through cupboards, starting a boiling pot of water. A moment later Sam burst through the door.
“Lahote got shot,” he said to her, then ripped the tablecloth off the tables, sending your wine and the dishes flying.
Your heart dropped through the floor. “What—”
“Where?” Emily said, setting her first aid kit on the counter and starting to rip up some bandages.
“Wait—”
“His side, he can't shift back. Y/n, he—”
The others burst into the room next, four of them carrying an enormous gray wolf on their shoulders. Paul.
“Here, set him here.” Emily gestured to the table, and they slowly eased him onto it. “Oh, God,” Emily hissed, turning to grab more bandages.
Jacob grabbed you before you could get closer. “Don’t, y/n,” he said, his hands covered in blood.
Paul's breath was coming out in broken whines, his entire left side slick with dark blood.
“Why can't he shift?” You asked, panic rising in your throat, choking you.
Jacob didn't answer, his face twisted in pain.
Understanding dawned. If Paul shifted, he would die.
You shoved past Jacob, catching him by surprise, and rushed to Paul's giant head, his eyes pinched shut, muzzle stained with gore.
“Paul,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his head the best you could considering it was the size of your torso, digging your fingers into his thick fur. He was colder than he should be, his heartbeat sluggish.
Sam placed a hand on your shoulder. “Y/n, you shouldn't. He might hurt you when Em—”
You shook the alpha off, clinging tighter to Paul's fur, breathing in his pine-tinged scent. “I don't care.”
Emily returned with an amber bottle, passing it to you. “Four drops on his tongue. No more.” And she set to laying out her supplies.
You looked at the label. Morphine.
“Paul, baby, I need you to open your mouth for me,” you asked, stroking his cheek. “Please, it'll make the pain go away.”
His eyes fluttered open, the richest mahogany, and locked onto your face.
“Please,” you asked again, a tear snaking down your cheek.
His mouth cracked open, revealing the torn, bloody muscle inside.
“That's good, love. Just like that.” You dropped four clear pearls of medicine onto his tongue. “Good boy, thank you.” You gently closed his mouth again, his eyes still firmly locked on you, even as his eyelids began to drop.
You went to pull away and set the medicine on the counter when he loosed a heart-wrenching whine, his whole body shifting on the table.
“Shit! Hold him,” Emily ordered, but he bucked them off again, staring at you.
Realizing, you dropped the medicine and rushed back over to him, throwing an arm over his neck and burying your face in the dense scruff at the base of his throat.
He immediately settled, tilting his chin down to rest against you, his nose pressed into your shoulder.
“I'm going to start removing the bullet,” Emily said to no one in particular. “If he starts to get aggressive, I want her out of here.”
The pack nodded, tightening their grips around him.
His body had just started to go lax form the morphine when Emily started digging for the bullet. You felt him tense, but he held perfectly still, almost trembling with effort.
The pack looked at one another, clearly surprised.
“He can't sit still for a splinter,” Sam muses, eyeing the two of you with a quirked brow.
“Got it!” Emily said, holding the pliers in the air, a crimson hollow point pinched in the end of them. “Less then two inches from his heart,” she said, dropping the bullet into the sink with a clatter.
Paul huffed against your neck, his body relaxing again.
You stroked his head, trying to soothe him. “You did so good, baby. You're going to be alright. Just a few stitches and you'll be able to heal on your own,” you whispered in his ear, even though you knew the rest of the could hear you.
Emily poured alcohol into the wound, and he bucked, a vicious growl ripping from his throat. Jacob yanked you backwards before Paul's fangs found you, Sam grabbing Emily as Paul roared.
“Outside!” Sam ordered, looking at Jacob. Jacob nodded and hauled you out into the cold, shutting the door behind you both.
“No, I need to be in there!” You shouted, fighting against him.
“Paul told us to take you out of there!” Jacob yelled back, and you stumbled away, stunned. “Right after he got shot, he said to make sure you weren't there. And he screamed ‘get her the fuck out of here' just now.”
“But—” You felt your knees sag. You thought for sure he was asking you to come closer…
“You saw what happened to Emily,” Jacob murmured, and you snapped your head back towards him. “Paul wouldn't survive doing that to you, y/n.”
You stared at him, tears in your eyes.
“He hates hurting you. But in his mind, it's the only way to keep you safe.”
“From what?” You cried, frustrated, heartbroken. Another agonized howl rips through the still November air.
“All of this! Us! Him!” Jacob threw his arms out. “When you discovered us, you trapped yourself. When he imprinted on you, he trapped you further.”
“But I want to be here!” You shouted back, voice echoing off the pines. “I want this.” Tears clogged your throat, the anger draining out of you. “I want him.”
Seth opened the front door, the warm light a halo around him. “He's out cold, but shifted back. He's going to be okay.”
You ran up the stairs and into the house. Paul, human Paul, was stretched across the table, a blanket tossed over his lower half. Emily was bandaging his ribs, a thick pad of gauze just to the left of his sternum.
“He's fine,” Emily said, sensing you hovering in the doorway. “A few days of rest and he'll be as growly as ever.”
“You should go home, y/n,” Sam said. “He doesn't need any stress right now.”
Stress. Was that all you were?
You nodded and grabbed your coat hanging by the door, feeling like you'd been shot yourself. Jacob offered to walk you home, but you declined.
You'd had enough for werewolves for a lifetime.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
When Paul woke up, he was alone in his room, the curtains drawn. Memories of that night rushed back to him, the agony, the searing rip of the bullet, your hands in his fur, soft voice in his ear.
“You did so good, baby. You're going to be alright.”
“Paul?” Sam cracked the door open. “You alright?”
“Where is she?” He asked, tugging on a pair of sweatpants.
“Paul—”
He didn't need to ask again, he could feel you through the imprint, his little shadow.
“Lahote, wait—” Sam grabbed him when he went to leave the room.
“What?” He snapped, the need to see you like a beast in his chest.
“She’s leaving.”
Paul's heart stopped. “She..what?”
“She's packing now. Chief said she was free to go if she burned her notes.”
He missed the last part, already running out of the house and into the street. He ran barefoot across town, ignoring everyone shouting from him, both outside and in his head.
Finally, he saw your little house at the edge of the beach, your car in the driveway, trunk open and piled with boxes.
No, no, no, no.
He vaulted over your stairs, barreling through the door.
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Your front door slammed open, the top hinge breaking with an audible crack. You dropped the books your were packing, looking up to find Paul racing towards you like a heat seeking missile.
“Paul, what—”
“Shut up, y/n,” he growled. His hands came up to your face, grabbing you and tugging you towards him. His mouth collided with yours, rough and desperate. Strong hands hauled you closer, crushing you against his bare chest in a bruising grip.
Your lips parted under his, your hands grasping for purchase along the planes of his chest as you kissed him back. His lips were surprisingly soft, supple and beautifully shaped, though nothing about the kiss gentle. Your lungs screamed for air, your whole body burning, burning, burning alive for him.
He wrenched himself away, holding onto the door frame like a lifeline. His chest heaved, eyes wild and dark. The frame cracked under his hands.
“Are you okay?” You asked, breathless. He still had bandages wrapped around his torso.
With one hand, he ripped them clean off, revealing nothing but a dimple of scar tissue. “If you want to go, I won't stop you. But I couldn't let you leave without…” his voice trailed off, gaze fixed firmly on your puffy, spit-slick lips.
You took a stuttering breath, tears brimming along your lash line. “I want you to want me to stay,” you admit, barely above a whisper.
He stared at you, tracking each tear as they rolled down your flushed cheeks. His expression softened, eyes round, lips slightly parted. “I want you to stay with me, but you're better off—”
You flung yourself towards him, trusting he would catch you, and he did, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I'm not,” you said, raining kisses across his cheeks, over his lips, his eyes, his jaw. “I'm not.”
Part Two
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
Thanks for reading!
If you enjoyed, you can check out my published work here.
Much love,
Allie
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