#the fanfic part of the fandom is especially dead so most of these are old

[ywpd-translations]

Fic rec! (part 1)

Here are some of the fanfics I have bookmarked on my AO3! I have a few more, so I'll do a part 2 of this soon enough. All of these fics are amazing, so please go read them and show the author some love!

If you have fics to recommend please share them!!

Under read more because it got long~

Makishima/Toudou (TouMaki)

Yowamushi Pedal Three Sentence Fics by mikkimouse (Toudou/Makishima / Fluff / 1282 words /Teen and Up audience. It's a collection a lovely short stories!)

Hanging on the Line by Jaela (Toudou/Makishima / 2026 words / Fake relationship / general audiences)

five times they didn’t kiss and one time they did by Yellow (Makishima/Toudou / 4003 words / 5 times / general audiences)

Aoyagi/Kaburagi (AoKabu)

reminisce by foodandfandom (Aoyagi/Kaburagi / 1253 words / general audiences /Kabu has a crush but of course he's oblivious about it /beautiful beautiful fic, I love it with all my heart)

Imaizumi/Naruko (ImaNaru)

on the west mezzanine by monkeyingaround (Imaizumi/Naruko / 3743 words / Teen and up audience / literally one of my fave Imanaru ever!!)

your hands on my cheeks (your shoulder in my mouth) by monkeyingaround (Imaizumi/Naruko / 6115 words / Explicit / basically the nsfw version of the previous one! Just as amazing)

Your Eyes by Allen_Nara (Imaizumi/Naruko / 4018 words / fluff, kissing, touching / Mature)

Butterflies by LadyMarshmallow (Imaizumi/Naruko / 1326 words / fluff, mostly Imaizumi's thoughts / not rated)

Manami/Onoda (SanSaka)

I can still use it by sky_prince (Manami/Onoda / 3913 words / general audiences / so so beautiful, this author really has a way with words)

Kinjou/Arakita (KinAra)

ready to start by joestars for phantomdoodler (Arakita/Kinjou / 3047 words / Fluff / General audiences)

do you want to be with somebody like me? by joestars (Arakita/Kinjou /3082 words /domestic fluff, getting together / Mature / god i absolutely adore this!)

third time's the charm by kinjoy (Arakita/Kinjou / 2115 words /Fluff, first kiss / general audiences)

time to go home by softintelligence (Arakita/Kinjou / 4165 words / magical realism /teen and up audiences)

Danchiku/Kaburagi

Trial Run by GingerCinnamon (Danchiku/Kaburagi / 1749 words / love confessions / general audiences /absolutely adorable)

Urakubo/Niwazuma (NiwaUra)

a beginning colored blue by championhestu (Urakubo/Niwazuma / 1284 words / general audiences / literally my favourite thing ever basically the only fic about them I haven't written myself i own this author my eternal gratitude)

Ishigaki/Midosuji (IshiMido)

Dragonfly Circle by Anonymous (Ishigaki/Midosuji / 11808 words / Explicit / it's been so long since i've read this one but i remember i adored it)

A Night, Your Night by Anonymous (Ishigaki/Midosuji / 7356 words / love confessions, angst / mature)

Arakita/Makishima (MakiAra)

One Hell of a Declaration, Darling by hostilovi (Arakita/Makishima / 9834 words / pining, future fic / teen and up audiences)

Machimiya/Ibitani (IbiMiya)

It's really something by HapaxLegomenon (Machimiya/Ibitani / 1543 words / mutual pining, love confessions / teen and up audiences / a very old one i haven't read in a long while but i remember i loved it)

Onoda/Imaizumi/Naruko

and it's all in my head but– by risquetendencies (Onoda/imaizumi/Naruko / 11792 words / getting together, feeling realization / teen and up audiences / absolutely showstopping, perfect)

Applied Research by rascals (lordlings) (Onoda/imaizumi/Naruko / 17696 words / fluff, confessions / general audiences / again, showstopping)

Midosuji/Onoda (MidoSaka)

A Cast Shadow by Anonymous (Onoda/Midosuji / 55899 words / angst, slow burn, fluff / teen and up audiences / oh god this was so beautiful i need to reread it)

Manami/Teshima (ManaTe)

One More by Anonymous (Manami/Teshima / 45712 words / getting together, banter, flirting / Explicit / i love this fic more than i love myself okay? It's not finished but it doesn't matter it's still worth reading it, literally amazing)

Various Ships

The many meanings of rival by zephsomething (Makishima/Toudou, Imaizumi/Naruko, Onoda/Manami / 1594 words / general audiences)

[chronically-ghosted]

i totally agree that it’s ridiculous for people to write fics for films that haven’t been released yet, but the problem isn’t the smut itself. people have every right to write porn if that scratches the itch.

i think your main point is the most important: it’s impossible to write a thoughtful, inspired fic when we don’t even know the story it’s based on. no one knows who this character is or what he’s like.

at this point, everyone should just call a spade a spade and write pedro rpf. all they care about is seeing his face in different situations.

so my earlier post was not so much a statement on Pedro Pascal Character fanfiction/porn, but the commercialization of art and I interpreted the thoughts and opinions of others through the lens of the medium I most often express myself with, which is fanfiction.

let me be clear: i have no problem with smut - pwp or otherwise. people are allowed to write whatever they want, about whoever they want, with whatever tropes make them happy.

my overall focus (and granted it was probably very muddled by the end of those - what, like three reblogs?) was an interrogation of fanfiction as art, and the state of art in this modern era. and after doing some more thinking and listening to more people much smarter than me (thank you to everyone who dm-ed me directly to talk further about this), my opinion is thus: the creation of content (not art) is more ubiquitous today is not because we are getting more stupid as a society, not because of our failing attention spans, not because we are on the brink of moral collapse but because we physically do not have the mental strength to be intellectually curious as a direct result of constant, distracting, emotionally-draining stimuli.

i can explain what i mean below the cut with two primary examples, specifically regarding the shift in fanfiction cult, and yes, the prominence of smutty oneshots in the pedro pascal character fandom of which this blog is a part of.

I have been in various fandoms for almost twenty years. I have been writing fanfiction for almost that same amount of time. In recent years, I've noticed two trends that initially discouraged me, but that I now believe is a symptom of our adjustment to a modern, constantly online era.

A severe lack of engagement within the artistic artifacts of a fandom

The quality of the fanfiction itself (because yes I do consider fanfiction to be an artform) has gone down hill - mostly.

Lack of engagement:

Art is inherently created to be shared. This is especially true for fandom because the community lives or dies by how many people are interacting with each other and sharing ideas (news, theories, fanart, fanfic, etc). If you say a fandom is dead, it means there haven't been any new posts or fic about it in years. So I don't wanna hear it when people say, "oh write for yourself, you shouldn't be chasing engagement" because that is antithetical to the very concept of fanfiction.

In recent years, I have seen and experienced myself engagement in my work only so far as a like or kudo. This is not how it used to be. Message boards (yes I am that old) and niche fandom sites were constantly abuzz with media sharing and excitement, and everyone enjoyed some version of praise (unless you got hit by the antis but they're never fun anyway). Initially I blamed this drop in engagement on laziness: people just want the next thing, they can't be bothered to appreciate the hard work writers put in and they just see content and art as the same thing - stuff to consume.

But I myself am GUILTY of minimal reblogs and comments and I LOVE what I'm writing - the impact certain works leave me with is long, long lasting but for some goddamn reason, I can't sit down and praise the author's works. Am I lazy? Possibly, but this is also not an isolated behavior and it's on the rise: people do not have time to engage with fandom/fanfic like they used to. Most people I know have worked at least two or three jobs at some point in their lives to just to make rent. This gen z is the first generation in DECADES to be worse off economically than their parents. With an interest rate at 8%, who the fuck can afford the security of a home anymore? We work ourselves to the bone for scraps and the realization that The Dream has officially died. And so what do we want to do in the free time we do have? Engage with the very bare minimum. We want to read things that we can at best skim, things we don't have to think about or engage with in any meaningful way. We want a way to turn off the noise of the next apocalypse and sometimes the best we can do is the tap of a thumb.

Which brings me to my next point: what the fuck happened to thoughtful fanfiction?

But this question is inextricably linked to the points above: oneshots are easier to write, faster to write, and if you write fic that is basically "Mad libs porn" (without ever engaging in the actual medium because it is literally not released yet), you are doing the most minimal work for the most amount of engagement. But I can't fault ANYONE for doing that. It feels good to be told your smut is "so hot" or "this exploded my panties" and in this era where the time available to create is so fucking small and minimized of course you're going to write for the most popular character, whether or not you're interested in the source material because we want our art to matter to someone. Intellectual pundits loooove to lambast our "shorter attention spans" but fuck, when are we allowed the time to think - in between this "100 year storm" that's happened twice in the past five years, or the global pandemic that turned millions of deaths into a political punching bag, or the next video of a white woman crying wolf to the police over an innocent black man, or - or - or - or

In a day where reality and the world as we know seems to be holding onto a thread, we turn to comfort: comforting tropes (dbf to rape/kidnap fantasies), comforting fanfic (pwp), and comforting ways to engage with fandom. There is nothing wrong with wanting your art to be appreciated and there's nothing wrong with inherently wrong with pwp - but I do believe its symptomatic of a MUCH larger and more sinister movement within ALL art right now.

I come from the generation who banished fanfic authors for scrubbing off the filing numbers to their fics and publishing it as original content because, in our communities, they were selling out. Fanfiction is inherently an act of rebellion. Every time you write fanfiction you break canon, an established structure with its own rules and boundaries. So by trying to appeal to the masses, to curb your own writing to fit whatever is mainstream, you are doing a disservice to yourself AND to the art of fanfiction. If something you write becomes popular, wonderful, great, you are very lucky and there is nothing wrong with that either. But do not sell out your 13 beloved fans who WILL take the time to leave a comment, who WILL take the time to reblog because your weird little fic spoke to them on a fundamental level and now is with them for the rest of their lives - in favor of a 100 thumb taps.

If you've made it here, thank you very much for reading. I've added some links to some additional references to see how this concept of "populist" art is having a serious negative down turn in the quality of art, but is also not any one individuals personal failings:

Why the world is addicted to background tv by Kayleigh Day

How Modern Audience are failing cinema by Like Stories of Old

Rupi Kaur episode of Rehash podcast

I'm always here to talk fic and art and what makes you excited about your writing. Much love and please rest. We need you here.

[tommyssupercoolblog]

Incoming very long ramble about the fragility of internet content and the ways some things are impossible or difficult to preserve

The thing that frustrates me most about poppytwt is how fruitless it all feels.

Like, you can't archive or research poppytwt effectively. You can certainly TRY but you'll find very little!!!

You have people who spent years in the poppytwt fandom who can TELL you about fanfics they read, art they saw, friends they made who were deactivated or doxxed or harassed or who committed suicide or are otherwise lost to time, but they'll have almost nothing to show for it because poppytwt was actively designed to be as impossible to trace back as possible, precisely because people were afraid of harassment.

How are you supposed to find, say, Tommy/Tubbo fanfiction? There's some on the actual tag, sure, especially now that poppytwt is for the most part over and it's considered "okay" to ship them now, but I'll tell you right now there are thousands of fics that won't pop up because the fic had no tags whatsoever, or spelled Tubbo like Tvbb0, or used some God awful emoji combination to convey who they were talking about, or were straight up DELETED. Discord servers moved every few years, fanart and fics were usually tagged with censored bullshit or not tagged at all and then taken down and deleted, entire accounts were ALSO deleted, even assuming something was tagged properly it's probably gone.

Most of us in the fandom at the time didn't think to make archives of anything while it was happening, so we've lost like.... probably enough content to make our own small website full of it, and even more chatrooms.

Almost all of the public facing content left is NSFW and/or more controversial kinks like CNC, watersports, etc, which could be because people who post that content are more resistant to criticism anyway but honestly I don't know why that is, and I know sfw content beyond what you can currently find EXISTED, we consumed tons of it back in the day, but it's almost fucking impossible to find!!! And most of it, when you get your hands on a link, is GONE!!!!

It happens with NSFW content too though, if course. Veradie was one of the most popular artists in poppytwt by far and a lot of the art links don't work. Some have archived versions with working links but a lot is gone because the original post leading to it doesn't work, and Veradie, like, the person, is missing. I'm sure she(?) would know a lot about old fandom and might even have archived some stuff, but if you're some sort of internet historian how in the FUCK are you supposed to find her??? She deactivated without a trace!!!

I made friends with a user called Kencydoo on here and one day I logged on and Kency was just GONE without warning or any indication of where they were moving to, no DMs to people they knew, nothing. I don't even know if it was staff or mass reports or a self-deletion. I do know Kency sometimes posted NSFW dead dove stuff and had tags you could block to avoid it, so it's possible one of those posts blew up and got the blog taken down, but I have no level of certainty.

Reese (I think it was Reese?) had people hunting for a "main account" that didn't exist for harassment and doxxing purposes and then ALMOST left (I'm glad you're still here @reesesrambles )

There's no stability for poppytwt content and no real shelf life which means that most of the history and even the harassment that REQUIRED THE EXISTENCE of a seperate fandom is gone. We can describe what the old dsmp fandom was like and why poppytwt exists and what it means but most of the actual concrete fandom blogs or resources are GONE, absolutely obliterated.

Like you can't make a Strange Æons style video about poppytwt, you literally can't, because almost all of it is like the fucking city of Atlantis. There WAS stuff here, but it was constantly sinking.

Most people I know for a fact were involved in poppy honestly just left for the hermitcraft fandom because people over there are like...normal?? The hermitcraft fandom allows RPF and doesn't give a shit about shipping characters who are "sibling coded" or whatever the fuck. They understand the concept of just not clicking on something you don't want to see, instead of launching a twitter cancellation campaign against people. So like if you can talk about a similar, and GOOD source of content that is also actively ongoing and not get shit for it, why would you chose to create for a discontinued peice of content and/or streamers who you WILL get shit on for writing about?? Like if your options are "write grian RPF and be able to not stress and have a fun time" or "write tommyinnit RPF and delete hate comments every day and watch your back constantly" why the fuck would you pick the latter???

And it's frustrating because the fact everything disappears means it feels like you don't even have much to look back on. The friends you made or content you enjoyed about a series you love is all dust now, and if you were into the DSMP for a long time (and therefore in poppytwt for a long time) then it's so much worse. It all adds up.

Anyways that's my ramble on how fucked up it is that entire communities can be lost in an era where things can supposedly be maintained forever does anyone want to drink a caprisun with me

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 40: The Pretty Dancer

[Story Masterlist] // [Aitana’s Masterlist]

Fandom: Criminal Minds // Pairing: Spencer Reid x OFC

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​ @foxesandmagic @kmc1989 @midmourn @caplanbuckybarnes ​​​​​​

If you’d like to be a part of Aitana’s taglist, please let me know!

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

Aitana was a mess when she met her grandmother for the first time after four years. The good news is that it was all on the inside and so nobody could tell a thing.

Julieta Serrano was the matriarch of the Serrano family. Her word was law on most occasions. She could be strict, sharp, and some would even say headstrong. She was a traditional woman who believed in the most traditional Mexican customs and values…but Aitana mostly remembered her grandmother as the woman who used to dance with her, the woman who would make her "hotcakes" (pancakes) in the mornings when they were together in Mexico, the woman who taught her how to sew, plant and grow gardens, etc.

Julieta was her abuelita, her second mother, and it pained Aitana to have to stay away from her for years.

When Julieta finally arrived in D.C., Aitana was a nervous mess. She held an undeniable guilt and worried about what Julieta would say when they met again. Julieta had no idea what happened to Aitana, much less about WIP and Aitana didn't want to share the story and cause any harm to her abuelita's health. She was, after all, 70 years old.

So, Aitana kept her recent "doings" short and as close to the truth as possible. She traveled around the country a lot for her job. That wasn't a lie. She met new people and had to stay away from home for a while — that also wasn't a complete lie. It was lucky that Julieta was more entertained with the idea of the upcoming Day of the Dead festival where Aitana would dance after years of not dancing. It was both a gift and a curse. Each day was different.

The day of the festival, Aitana was up early. Julieta was also up that early. Aitana had stayed at her parents' house to get ready with her grandmother and mother, the former of the two knowing exactly what Aitana should look like. She went through numerous prayers with her grandmother for the sake of a good (and safe) competition and show. Pamela worked fervently to apply Aitana's makeup while Julieta also attended to the hairdo.

Somehow, they only just made it out of the house on time.

"Vamos mija," Pamela said as they made a hasty exit out of their car in the parking lot. "Let's go! You still have to put your dress on!"

"I know, I know!" Aitana exclaimed, struggling to get out of the car without pushing off the great big flowers off her hair. "I'll do that inside!"

They had been given the spacious community center for costume changes. There were already various other competitors in the lot getting ready to head inside. It was on her way inside when Aitana saw the last message on her phone before she would have to hand it over to her parents (her dress had no pockets whatsoever).

Good luck, sprinkles! We're all here, ready to root for you!

Penelope

Aitana felt the cheers in her heart. She was beyond nervous, perhaps on the border of throwing up. She would have to force herself to remember what the others told her before all this, especially Spencer's words.

~0~

While the competition prepared itself to begin, the festival had already started with its dozens of stalls of business and games. Half an hour after arriving, JJ joined Rossi and Spencer with a downcast face.

"Henry's wiping us clean," she told the team of her sorrow. She pointed over her shoulder back towards the stalls. "There are so many games and he wants to play them all."

Rossi snickered. "Is that where Will is right now?"

JJ nodded grimly. "Yeah. Hotch is getting it pretty bad with Jack too. They've tagged-team."

But at the same time she lamented, Penelope and Morgan came over with a series of bags in their hands. Penelope was grinning from ear to ear.

"I love this place!" Penelope exclaimed. She raised her hands, displaying the various small bags all swishing against each other.

"She might need an advance on her paycheck," Morgan warned and chuckled, prompting an elbow on his side.

"I have not wasted that much!" Penelope defended herself then went back to grinning. "Besides, everything here is so cool!"

"You've never been here?" Rossi asked, thinking it strange since Penelope did celebrate Day of the Dead.

"I didn't know the city had one!" Penelope said, sounding irritated with the matter. "I'll have to thank Aitana afterwards. Has anyone seen her?"

"Not yet," Emily answered. She and Spencer were approaching the group, Emily looking slightly disappointed. "We tried sneaking around the building to wish her good luck."

"She," Spencer corrected, throwing Emily a sharp look, "She tried sneaking into the building. I told her we could've just texted her like Penelope."

Emily rolled her eyes and waved him off. "A text isn't good enough!"

"Hey," Penelope said with a pout, "It was the best I could do in this situation!"

"Don't feel bad because you didn't want to trespass, Penelope," Spencer said, still throwing looks at Emily.

"Wuss," Emily muttered under her breath.

She was doing it for him, after all! He was just too oblivious to see it! Of course sending Aitana good luck texts was good but it would be even better if they got to wish her good luck in person! Plus, it would be a good opportunity to nudge Aitana and Spencer a little closer. He would wish her luck, inevitably sparking a little conversation about Day of the Dead trivia and thus one step closer to the goal! It was perfect!

Except for security.

And that was damn offensive because they were FBI agents. Spencer had shut down Emily's ploy to use their badges to go inside, saying it was abuse of their power and whatnot. It had been a failed mission from all angles.

"Maybe we should go wait by the stage," Rossi proposed, eyeing the bags around Morgan's wrists. "And maybe find a truck for all of those."

Morgan rolled his eyes but Penelope was none the wiser about them. She dragged Morgan after Rossi, prompting the others to do the same. Halfway there, they heard somebody call for them.

It was Elia, Aitana's best friend, walking over to them. She was dressed to the nines in a traditional folkloric dress. It was white at the bodice with puffy sleeves, with a skirt of bright pink, gold, and red.

Penelope was immediately dazzled. "Oh my goodness! That is a beautiful dress!" She exclaimed. In her attempt to touch said dress, her many bags bumped Elia's side and chest. "Sorry!"

Elia chuckled. "It's alright."

"You look really nice," Emily remarked, smiling like the others. "Is that how Aitana looks?"

"No," Elia shook her head. "This dress is traditional to the region of Michoacan, Mexico. It's where my family's from. Aitana's family is from Jalisco so her dress will be from that region."

"So what are you doing here?" Morgan asked, checking his watch. "Don't you guys go on soon?"

"In about half an hour," nodded Elia, "But it's my tradition to come out and scope the area for some good luck vibes."

"There are plenty of acorns for that," Spencer said, prompting the others to give him strange glances. "In Norway, acorns are seen as objects of good luck. It dates all the way back to Norse mythology when the Norse thought that their God of thunder, Thor, favored oak trees. They would put acorns on their window sills in hopes that no lightning would strike down on them. In reality, lightning is attracted to oak trees."

"Huh, so you do do that," Elia said after a moment of silence that they'd all used to process the information. "Aitana told me."

"Oh…" Spencer lowered his head, lips pursed.

"You know, we have good luck objects too," Elia said, smiling mischievously. "Traditions, really."

"What is it?" Rossi asked curiously.

"We light a candle with a picture of la Virgen de Guadalupe on the front." Elia laughed softly at their reaction. "It's true! I'm pretty sure that's how I passed my biology class in the 10th grade." She was much too proud of herself even after the years.

A couple minutes later, Elia bid the group goodbye. She did point the group towards the stage and a specific aisle that promised the best view. According to her, their routine was second to last in the lineup.

They followed Elia's directions and went to the fourth row on the right. They would've chosen the first but according to Elia, the second through fourth rows were always better. No craned necks nor soreness. As they took their seats, they saw Aitana's family sitting in the second row.

The show began pretty soon, starting with the young competitors — the children. JJ thought it was absolutely adorable and even threw the idea out there that Henry should participate in some kind of dancing club later on. Will merely shook his head.

Penelope was dazzled with all the costumes — she paid more attention to that rather than the dancing. "When Aitana comes out, of course I'll pay attention to her!" She assured the team when Morgan pointed it out.

In truth it was pretty easy to get lost in the costumes and the dances, especially since none of them ever got the chance to see dances like this upclose. When it was finally their friend's turn, they all straightened up in their seats, ready to cheer Aitana on. She was the fourth and final female dancer in her group.

Penelope lost it as soon as she saw Aitana. "YOU GO SPRINKLES!" She yelled above the crowd's applause.

Aitana almost matched the color of her dress. Unlike Elia who was in shades of pinks and yellows, Aitana's dress was a more ruffled version. It was white, for starters, with stripes of red, orange, yellow, blue and green at the hemline of the skirt, the ruffles around her waist and the ruffled collar over her chest. Her short hair somehow sustained a huge headband with a bouquet of brightly colored flowers. Large earrings dangled from her ears.

It was honestly a blur of colors when the music began. Aitana couldn't afford to look at anything and lose concentration. Her mind buzzed with the steps she needed to take. She knew damn well that everyone was watching but nobody more than her grandmother.

The music was loud, energetic, and the atmosphere was phenomenal. Everyone watched attentively, listening to the traditional music, cheered for their favorite contestants, and applauded at intricate steps. When it ended, it didn't really end. The crowd cheered for more than a couple minutes afterwards, keeping the dancers in their spots taking their bows. They were tired, sweaty, and worst of all still pretty nervous.

That didn't matter to Penelope and the rest of the squad. They all cheered for their "sprinkles". Some even joined Rossi with a 'bellissima!'. It was a whole ride, one that had Aitana flushing and laughing at the same time.

They would have loved to greet her coming down the stage but her family was of course already waiting for her. She was engulfed in multiple hugs and kisses from her family, so much she lost track of who had done what.

"So you liked it, abuela?" Aitana waited anxiously for her grandmother to answer.

Julieta didn't think about it for a minute before nodding her head. "Claro que sí!" She laughed. "Ah, te veías tan hermosa bailando mi pequeña!" She pinched Aitana's cheeks like she always did when Aitana was younger.

Aitana went into a series of laughs after that. Her grandmother tended to be slightly dramatic — she had told Aitana she looked absolutely beautiful dancing. Aitana really doubled that when she knew she must look like a mess after the routine. Love was blind indeed.

"My sweet girl!" Julieta insisted, her thick accent emphasizing her words even more.

"Aitana, your co-workers are here too, you know," Mateo said once he managed to pull their abuela back and give a view of Aitana. "You should probably say hello at some point."

"Well of course," Aitana rolled her eyes playfully. "I invited them. I'll be right back," she told her parents. She hunched the sides of her dress skirt enough to walk quicker then headed off.

Penelope had spotted Aitana way before she approached them. "Oh! Oh! You were absolutely wonderful! Come here!" She wrapped her arms around Aitana in a tight hug. "Absolutely wonderful!"

Aitana chuckled. "Thanks, Penelope." When she managed to pull away, she looked at the others. "Thank you guys for coming. It means a lot, honestly."

"You were amazing out there!" Emily said, giving Aitana a side hug, for she was also holding one glass of unknown alcohol in the other hand. She wouldn't live with herself if she got a drop of it on Aitana's beautiful dress.

With so many compliments, Aitana didn't know what to do with herself.

"So when's the next competition?" JJ asked and suddenly the rest of the team was already on board.

"Woah, hold on," Aitana's hands went up in front of her, "I just barely made it past this one. I have no idea when or if I'll participate in another one."

"You did great in this one," said Spencer, "I don't see why you wouldn't be able to handle another one."

"Because not everyone can handle your kind of level, Dr. Reid," Aitana retorted. He playfully rolled his eyes at her. "I think I need a break…I just don't know how to break it to my grandmother yet…"

"You should probably figure it out because she's coming here," Morgan said.

Aitana laughed. "Yeah, right."

"Aitana?"

Aitana audibly squeaked, fully panicking.

Morgan smirked. "Told you."

Aitana was going to smack him but her grandmother arrived at that moment. She stayed right where she was. "Abuela," Aitana glanced at the woman.

"They're going to tell us who won," Julieta said, surprising the others with her English tongue. Up until now, Aitana had never said whether or not Julieta even spoke English.

Aitana nodded. "Okay, yeah, I'll be there. I was just talking to my friends/co-workers."

"Oh, los del trabajo dondé viajas todo el tiempo?" It was clear that Julieta spoke far better Spanish.

Aitana cleared her throat and nodded her head. "Si," she said, "Son ellos."

"Hola, yo soy Emily," Emily stepped forward to shake hands with Julieta. The latter was startled with the direct conversation, but slowly pleased. The others rolled their eyes, of course Emily would pull that card.

"Julieta Serrano," the older woman said, shaking hands.

"Me gustó mucho la interpretación. Aitana estaba muy nerviosa."

Julieta let out a small laugh. "Very nervous, I know," she nodded. "I told her it was nothing to worry about."

Aitana smiled dryly at the pair. "Yes, thank you for that."

Julieta patted her granddaughter's shoulder. "We have to go back."

Aitana nodded. "I know." She looked at her friends and before she could say a thing, they were already flooding her with good luck wishes. She honestly never felt so much love from one group of people, besides her own family of course.

As Aitana and her grandmother headed back to their family, the rest of the team made way for the stage again. The rest of the competitors were gathering on stage, with only a few stragglers coming later. Aitana was one of them but still fine.

The presenter soon returned as well, announcing the beginning of the naming. The third place winners, the runners-up, had been the youngest selection of the competitors — 12 year olds. Then, the heat started when the announcer called upon Aitana's team and another. First and second place was between them. For a few minutes, it was impossible not to squirm and that went for both teams. They were both equally nervous.

And then, they called second place. Aitana's team stepped forward to receive their congratulations and trophy, which they did so happily.

Aitana had such a good laugh explaining to Penelope — assuring Penelope — that she was perfectly content with second place. Penelope might as well have heard blasphemy.

"But you were amazing!" Penelope exclaimed, still throwing glares at the stage despite there being no one there anymore. "You deserved first place! I should give them a piece of my mind!"

Morgan curled a hand around Penelope's arm immediately. "Easy there, baby girl, if Aitana's happy, shouldn't we be too?"

Penelope frowned. "You know what I mean!" She huffed.

"I think we all know what you mean, Penelope," JJ said, patting Penelope's shoulder.

"I'm glad you have my back," Aitana laughed softly. "But let's save that for when I really need it, okay?"

"Another competition?" Penelope jumped on the idea, making the others laugh.

"No, no…I think I'll be taking a break again," Aitana admitted, "This—" she gestured to her dress, "—is a lot of work and juggling it between work and school is too much for me. Maybe I'll go back to it after I graduate."

"Sounds like a reasonable idea," said Rossi, "Don't want to spread yourself too thin."

"Exactly," nodded Aitana. "But thank you guys for coming. It really does mean a lot."

"Of course, we're glad that you're happy. I think that's the most important thing here," Emily said, looking at the others to make sure they agreed. They did.

"Well, we do have the rest of the day to look forward to," Aitana said, beginning to smile again, "And we go all night."

"A concept some of us won't be able to do," JJ said as she gestured between her son and Jack in the distance with Will.

Aitana chuckled. "Right."

"Aitana!" Her mother called and when Aitana looked back, she saw her family was waving her over.

"You should go," Morgan said, "We'll be good."

"I just — I'll meet up with you guys later, I promise," Aitana said, raising her hand as evidence, "I don't want you getting lost or doing something worse."

"Oh don't worry about us," Morgan said, "We know how to have fun. Even Reid."

Spencer didn't appreciate the fact that everyone laughed. "Ha, ha."

"Don't go pulling pranks on each other here," Aitana warned. She backtracked a few steps when she heard her mother calling again. "You piss off the wrong person and I won't help you again."

"We said we were sorry," Spencer said, "And after your stunt with the shoes, believe us we will never include you in any prank ever again."

Aitana grinned. "I'm glad to hear it."

"Aitana!"

Aitana winced. That was her mother's angry voice. She knew it well enough from her childhood. "I'll see you guys later!" She grabbed the sides of her dress and hurried off.

~0~

Throughout the day, the team would see each other in different places like the stalls, the tasting competitions — Emily won by a landslide — and the mini-dance competitions. It was a variety of fun and by nightfall, it only got better. Music blared in the air, attracting chunks of people at a time.

"Oh my God, is that Morgan?" Aitana barely stifled her laugh as she watched Morgan try to learn a dance routine with a couple of the other competitors from earlier.

Penelope was fascinated by the sight. Spencer thought Morgan resembled a cat…a very bad one…

Aitana laughed that time. "You're kinda mean," she told Spencer, oddly fascinated as well.

"Look at him!" Spencer gestured a hand at Morgan. He was laughing too. "Any chance you got another opening for a student because I think Morgan will need it stat."

"I don't see you trying to learn," Aitana pointed out. "At least Morgan is making the effort.

"I'll try!" Penelope suddenly exclaimed. Her hand clasped around Spencer's wrist. "And so will he!"

"What!?" Spencer's eyebrows furrowed. "No I won't!"

"Oh, yes you will!" Penelope assured him then grabbed Aitana's hand. "And Sprinkles is going to teach us!"

Neither Aitana nor Spencer had a say in the matter. Penelope yanked them to the dancefloor.

"I really don't — Garcia!" Spencer cried.

Penelope was not letting him go for anything. On her other side, Aitana was laughing.

"Just follow my lead!" Aitana told the two.

Penelope trusted her enough to let go of her hand. Aitana moved two steps down and so Pebelope did the same, pulling Spencer with her in the process. When it was time to retake the steps in the opposite direction, he and Penelope crashed into each other.

Aitana could not stop laughing. It only got worse the more steps she introduced. In the end, Spencer pried Penelope's hand off to escape. It was a matter of life and death to him.

"Oh, c'mon!" Penelope called to him when he broke free.

"No! I'm done!" Spencer declared, making it a warning for both women. "I refuse to make myself look like an idiot across all cultures!"

Aitana was a laughing mess. She had to clutch her stomach seconds into it. Spencer gestured at her to prove his point.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Aitana said in-between her laughs. "You're just too funny, Spencer!"

"You think I'm funny?" Spencer said, dropping everything to take the words in.

Aitana nodded, having to step out of the dancing altogether before people crashed into her while she laughed. "I think you're hilarious sometimes but you don't know it. Which just makes you funnier."

Penelope smirked at Spencer. The latter was too tired for any more of that stuff, so he took off without saying a word.

Aitana didn't agree. "Oh, Spencer! C'mon! Spencer!" She chased after him. "Spencer, this is a really big dress — don't make me actually have to chase you!"

Of course after hearing that, Spencer came to a stop. He turned around and watched as Aitana finally managed to catch up with him.

"This dress is not meant for running," she said, taking deep breaths in and out. "Also kind of tight."

"Sorry…" Spencer felt the urge to say.

Aitana laughed. "What? No. This is my fault. Sorry for back there…Penelope is just too much sometimes and it's always funny."

"I'm a terrible dancer," Spencer said, shrugging. "It gives everyone the perfect ammunition."

"We're all bad at something. I'm terrible at drawing. Like, the worst, actually."

Spencer smiled at Aitana. "But you're really good at talking about space."

Aitana had to laugh again. "Spencer, I'm trying to make you feel better, not the other way around."

"It's fine," Spencer dismissed it as he usually tended to.

Aitana nodded, hearing the tone behind his voice. "Hey, I got an idea. Why don't I go get changed out of this dress, and then I'll show you the other best spots around this place that don't involve dancing whatsoever?"

Spencer's brows raised with surprise. "Um…yeah, that…that would be nice."

Aitana beamed. "Great! I'll be fast, I promise! Don't go anywhere, okay?"

Spencer chuckled. "Promise I won't."

Aitana beamed even more. She grabbed the sides of her dress and hurried off again. Spencer watched her leave, feeling about a thousand times better than before. He had to be careful not to let Morgan anywhere near him.

Aitana returned a bit later. She had changed into warmer clothes but kept her hairdo the same. She easily took Spencer with her and brought him to what she considered were the better parts of the festival. Spencer pointed out that many of them included food.

"Spencer, never tell a woman she eats too much," Aitana warned as she bit into her chips and salsa.

"What?" Spencer flinched. "Oh my God, no! I wasn't saying that you — I wasn't—"

Aitana laughed at his stuttering mess. "Easy there before I short circuit the wires in your brain. Here, try some." She offered him the salsa bowl to dip a chip in.

"I've tried chips and salsa before, Aitana," Spencer said, "I'm not that lost."

"Yes, but this is authentic Mexican food. Trust me, our spices hit differently."

Spencer shrugged. He reached for a chip and dunked it into the salsa bowl. Aitana watched him giddily, and perhaps a bit mischievously too. Spencer didn't understand that face until the spice started hitting.

"Oh my God!" He had no choice but to swallow it down since it was already chewed.

Aitana snorted into a laugh watching him struggle. "I told you it wouldn't be that soft stuff you buy out there."

"My mouth is on fire!" Spencer fanned himself.

"Oh, it's not that bad!"

"Yes it is! You lied!"

Aitana shook her head. "Here, try something else —"

"No!" Spencer shooed Aitana away from him. "I will seriously never trust you again!"

Aitana couldn't help her laugh. It was too much for her again. "You're being overdramatic."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"My mouth feels like it's on fire!"

"C'mon drama queen," Aitana curled an arm around Spencer's arm, "Some aguas frescas should clear this up."

"Do they have spice in them too?"

"Some of them might but it's just — Spencer!" Aitana laughed as Spencer bolted from her side. "You have got to be kidding me! Spencer! Come back!"

"No!"

Aitana chased after him nonetheless.

[hhhecates]

Hey Hecate, it's interpretations HELP NO THAT WAS MY AUTOCORRECT THIS IS IRATEMPESTATIS I'M SOBBING

You don't have to answer this ask at all btw! This is just me yapping you can ignore this gajdhwjshsj

BUT I actually don't understand WHY Xiao's popularity met such a steep decline when he was so goddamn popular just like. The year before last. Is it Kinich? I have seen people migrate to Kinich, including my own friends

It is a bit tragic in a meta, sagau way that Xiao was abandoned in droves because a newer character came out with many of his characteristics, but is easier to deal with. Like sure Kinich has a ton of baggage that would be incredibly difficult in its own way but he's much better settled and socialised than Xiao. He's just easier, I guess

With Xiao unless you're doing a modern au you're again restricted in some way bc he does not travel, he remains within Liyue and your settings are limited bc his actions among humans are limited bc then his karma might hurt them. But writing Kinich is easier in a way because he's not restrained by any of this

Xiao's limitations also make it so he can't really interact with mortals much in a confrontational way- he has to contrive convoluted plans to reform Wang Ping'an bc he can't beat it out of him since he's sworn to never hurt a mortal. Kinich though can go pick fights with someone who hurt you for example, without being restrained by this

There's several layers of security you need to have for Xiao to guiltlessly interact with you and one of the most important ones is a physical one- the vision. Or I don't think he'd come close at all, he's a lot of things but he's not irresponsible

Whereas you could make so many situations in Kinich fanfics specifically because they don't have that physical advantage

I could go on and on but it is a bit funny (and also absolutely tragic, I WANNA TALK ABOUT HIM NONSTOP BUT THERE'S LIKE SIX OTHER PEOPLE HERE) that it happened this way

To be clear I've got nothing against Kinich or the people that write for him!! Writing is so hard no matter what character you're wielding and I've heard of my friends yap at me about some absolutely lovely Kinich fanfics

I also think fault in part lies w the eng localisation and eng va direction... I do not blame the va whatsoever, she did a great job but they emo-ified him and turned him so much harsher than he is, in dialogue and voicelines both whereas in the others and especially CN he's just calm, but wary of coming close to people because he's like. Emanating cancer come on

AGKSHSJSJ IM SORRY ABOUT THE LONG ASK but I had to word vomit somewhere and you were an appetizing victim HSJHSH THANK YOU BYE BYE MWAH <333

I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT WEEK <3

Ps it's just my luck to finally excitedly join a big fandom and the specific subset I want is... Dead... </3

I hope they release more Xiao content, a second quest or at least include him in events. They should've made him a contender in the beetle fight thing, that would've been so cute qgjdhwjwj. Please do something hoyo </3

Sksksks HELLO! Iratempestatis!^^ I'm really glad to have you here in my inbox hehehe.

Honestly, I kind of get? Well not really but that's simply because xiao is my favourite character, on a more objective point of view, I do get it.

The shift to newer characters is unavoidable, and when new characters happen to fill the "role" of old ones, it's obvious people are gonna pick novelty. Characters like kinich come with a lot of new content too (and the last time we truly had a considerable amount of content and lore about xiao was what? back in 2.7?).

Also, there's the irony that xiao, much like his character in game, needs a lot of investment.

I see the restraints in writing him if we want to have a narration that follows canon as closely as possible (reader needs to have a vision, he doesn't leave liyue,...) but I do think with a bit of imagination there can be a lot of options available, even if maybe they stray away a bit from what's most likely to happen in canon: reader could not have a vision, perhaps the setting can be during the archon war, when xiao's companions are still alive and none of them have takes the role of slaying gods yet, or it hasn't affected them as much yet (I really love fanfics that explore xiao's dynamics with the other yakshas, and having a moment of peace and found family after the hell he's been through with his previous master), or reader could be a god; I remember reading this ongoing series from @reilliane where reader happened to be a newborn goddess, and amongst her powers was one to nullify xiao's pain upon touch. That was an extremely interesting concept, I always really like toying with the idea of a reader that can take away xiao's pain or karmic debt somehow, especially because you can then explore the dynamics of whether xiao comes to like and trust them because of their powers or not (he's not an opportunist like that ofc, but I feel like on an unconscious level he might start to trust them because of that, which isn't bad, just worth exploring).

For settings, while it's true that xiao is limited to Liyue, I don't see that as a particular hurdle? Maybe it's just because I love Liyue so much myself lol. However I do think there's something extremely sweet in reader going on a commission or travel outside of Liyue, and xiao just waiting for them and realizing how much he misses them; one of my absolute FAVOURITE xiao works is "if all stars fell at once" by @lavendermin and they also have some related oneshots "constellation miscellany" with one of them exploring this dynamic and it was just so sweet and perfect (also that one in particular it's a nsfw work, saying that cause idk if you're comfortable with that kind of content^^).

Also also while modern AU is certainly an option, I feel like xiao can be extremely well versed for different kind of fantasy AUs as well: there's this ongoing series called "Genus Daemonium" by EdenxWrites on ao3, where xiao is a demon, and his backstory on how he became one is masterfully crafted to me (won't spoil since that's towards the end of the fic), I also recently saw a writer start a series set in a Liyue torn up by karmic debt, where "tamers" and adepti work together to protect it (tamers are human chosen by the gods to have special powers to deal with karmic debt, they help out adepti rid with karmic debt if they aren't beyond saving and usually have a partner adeptus to work with) the fic talked about a reader who had been betrayed by their adeptus and xiao, a rogue adeptus who was once worked to death by his tamer and now trusts no one. Though it was still the beginning of the series, it was beautifully written, and I love how it explored themes of betrayal and learning how to trust again. I won't say the name of the writer in case they don't want to, since I think they deleted the fic.

Well, I've yapped enough, my point is though, that while xiao is certainly a character that brings many limitations in writings, I also feel like he's extremely versatile with a little care. Probably though, the biggest "problem" when it comes to him, is that he's extremely well-versed for longer fics and series instead of one shots or shorter content. I completely understand writers that lose interest or hope, also because tumblr and other sites are going towards a more short content format (for example those short scenarios where at the bottom you have then a series of names of different characters it refers to). Being a writer always was, but especially now is a lot of thankless work, and writers are just trying to share their content with us while trying not to burn out.

Xiao is a complex character, and fleshing him out takes time. But that's also exactly where his charm lies: how soft he is once he starts trusting you and how much he cares in little ways, how you need to be patient with him, but slowly you come to realize xiao has a fierce kind of gentleness to him, he's protective and loyal, and after a lifetime of suffering, he still just has the unpresuming and apologetic wish to know a little peace and to have that little peace with you.

[dicenote]

DN Fic Recs!!

Aight, I think the Death Note fandom could use some positivity. And I wanna be positive :D! So here is a list of fics with reviews, aka a thinly-veiled excuse to wildly ramble about brilliant fics made by incredibly talented people. A lot of these works inspire me, so I want to share them with others! If these fics sound interesting to you, I highly recommend that you check them out and give the authors lots of love :D

Anyway, here we go!

Fallout by Zaney HacknSlash Rating: M (FFN) Ships: (Not the main focus) eventual Matsu x Sayu, eventual Ide x OC, background Aizawa x Eriko, (kinda) Mogi x Misa

Dude. Duuuuude. If you want to see an action-packed, angst-filled joyride of a fic featuring the Task Force after Kira, this is it. This is a 10 year old rewrite of the original version of the fic, but it has a lot of the old fandom charm left over from the 2008 original. The plot is centered on the guilt Matsuda feels after shooting Light, and what he has to do when a mysterious enemy forces him to confront that guilt.

I like how the author gives us insight into every major character in the story. The flipping perspectives keep the story grounded in some places, but make it chaotic when it needs to be. Most importantly, I like how we see, inside and out, how tight-knit the Task Force has become after everything they've gone through. I also enjoy how each of the Task Force members have their own dilemmas and struggles that pay off by the end, all to do with loyalty. Overall, Fallout is an epic story with action, suspense, and plenty of original characters that don't overstay their welcome.

True Successor by @mapsareforbraindeads Rating: M (AO3) Ships: Beyond x Light, BeyondTsuda

I think this was the first fic that really helped me get the appeal of Beyond Birthday, and that's a feat all on its own. Here, Vari takes the original story of Death Note and flips it on its head with an idea that sounds like "crack treated seriously" on paper: What if L was dead before the events of the story? What if, instead, he were replaced by someone looking to, "realize what [L] could not"?

The portrayal of Beyond's mental state throughout is simply breathtaking. One standout (not-too-spoilery) example happens when Ukita dies as in canon. Vari does an incredible job of showing Beyond's frantic thoughts to the point where this part is actually stressful to read. I really wish I could go into more detail about how Beyond is portrayed, but it's really worth reading for yourself. Like I said, this fic helped me understand why people like B's story so much.

Even if you've never read the LABB book (I haven't yet), True Successor is an utterly fantastic work that you should check out.

Weakness by Airmid Rating: M (AO3) Ship: LawTsuda

I think I've talked about this one before, but it's worth talking about again. I think of this as "the" LawTsuda fanfic for a couple reasons, most notably in that it really makes the pairing work in a setting that's close to canon. I really adore the way Airmid characterizes L and Matsuda in this fic and immediately contrasts them from each other. The events of Weakness take place before L's death in canon, and the story asks some simple questions: What would have happened if L let himself confide in someone before he died? And what if that person was Matsuda?

I've read some of Airmid's other, longer, works, and while I enjoyed Happiness and Until the End, Weakness stands out to me because it feels a lot "tighter", if that makes sense. Using the bells from the anime, we get this very solid through-line of L secretly worrying and preparing for the inevitable... And then Matsuda comes in. This fic in particular continues to be a huge inspiration for a fic I'm writing, especially for the portrayal of Matsuda as equally earnest and impulsive.

Pretty much anything by Tallulah

Okay, I wish I could pick just one to talk about here. From the short and devastating Axioms to the very long and devastating Broken Hallelujahs, all of Tallulah's works—the smutty and the soul-crushing—have intriguing worlds and deep, dark characters. Just make sure you mind the tags before diving in, these ones get dark. As a MatsuIde fan, I've got to give a shout-out to Saviour. It took a while for me to "get" the style of the fic, but in the end I really loved the tone. The way Tallulah depicts the dissociation and trauma of these characters feels incredibly real, and when the fic drops its unique formatting to symbolize the characters "snapping out of it", you feel it. Broken Hallelujahs has a similar vibe, but its story has more fast-paced action. Ooh, and The End of Days is an incredibly solid, more "canon-compliant", work featuring Aizawa x Ide x Matsuda, a guilty pleasure ship for me.

Twisted Fate by TwilightMaster15 Rating: M (AO3) Ships: None tagged so far, background LawLight

If you've been in the DN fanfic scene, I'm sure you've seen (or maybe read) a "What if L was Kira?" fic. Well, here's a new one. What if Aizawa was Kira?

This is another fic that takes what could be a "crack" scenario and executes it super super well. Rather than getting a childish Kira who calls himself "God of the New World", we have Aizawa, who has become disillusioned by the justice system he works in. The fic does a really good job in setting up Aizawa's relationships, good and bad, with the other characters, as well as showing the very different choices Aizawa!Kira makes versus Canon!Light. Speaking of Light, his motivations and role in the story are very well-done. His inclusion feels incredibly natural, and I can't wait to see what he and L do next.

Kira's Guide to the Munchies by @palant1r Rating: T (AO3) Ship: MatsuLight

I've gotta end this list with a funny one, alright? This fic is an absolutely delightful treat. It's like digging into a nice, warm brownie... Oh, wait.

See, Palant1r doesn't just characterize Matsuda and Light, more like dissects these characters' essences, their weaknesses and fears and flaws, and lays them bare for the reader to see. And yes, this is also true for when Matsuda and Light are tripping fucking balls. This fic is so very silly, but we also get to see the way these characters think, even if their faculties are hindered by quite a bit of weed. A character study wrapped in a goofy concept, Kira's Guide to the Munchies is a ride that you just have to read to believe. Seriously. I was thinking about quoting lines here, but it works better when you don't know what's coming next.

[greenapplespider]

Introduction:

Married zoomer (yes we can be winning if we try hard enough 🫠). In my spare time I write and draw. Reading/writing fanfiction is one of my favorite hobbies. I do commissioned illustrations on the side.

I experience minor gender/sex dysphoria and a lot of my works (intentionally or otherwise) have transhumanism, body horror, disassociation, mental instability, and similar complicated themes proliferating through them, cause that’s what I vibe with. Both of the original stories I’m currently working have varying levels of these themes in different ways.

I am pro-ship, pro-free speech/expression, and generally anti censorship, especially when it comes to the written word.

I enjoy stories with dark, depressing, whumpy, and controversial themes. If I write, draw, or enjoy something that offends you, move on- I don’t care for the sensibilities of cry bully’s, nor do I care if you think some dynamic of my work(s) are problematic, per whatever pet issue seizes the masses.

In the words of old- ‘don’t like don’t read’, ‘dead dove do not eat’, and ‘YKINMKATO’.

—

My current work:

(Will be added to when need be)

Original works:

‘Blood in Moderation’ is an epic length graphic novel I’m planning. It is a dark, urban, fantasy about magic, alchemical mutants, transhumanism, and wealthy elites who take no issue consorting with foul things for power. It’s currently unpublished- my goal is to have part one of the Torch City Arc done within the next 5 years. This story is my baby- so perhaps I’m taking a bit too long to make it perfect. —— ‘Blood in Moderation: The Sewer King’ follows the character Callum, a fresh cop, assigned to work in one of the most dangerous precincts in the city. As he becomes more disillusioned and jaded with the reality of his job, he starts looking into wrongfully abandoned missing persons cases in his spare time and eventually crosses paths with the daughter of the cities most prolific gun runner and smuggler. She’s looking for her missing best friend. Together they uncover a lot more than a human trafficking scheme.

‘Second Class Citizen’ is a BL erotica and thriller set in a dark dystopia. John is a former psychologist working as a journalist for an independent, anti-government, publication called the Second Class Citizem. On his way home from work he is assaulted and tortured by one of the many organized gangs the police purposely ignore. His attackers take more. Due to John’s work as a journalist the government views him as dissident and the police threaten him into silence. One of John’s attackers takes a sick liking to him and with no other recourse John’s best mate, Henry, decides to take matters into his own hands. (Not published yet- the goal is by late summer of next year).

Fanworks:

I have many fandoms which I’ll do fanart for:

Naruto, MP100, Black Clover, The Witcher, ATLA, LOTR, Merlin, Stargate, Star Trek, and many others

I’m currently doing fanfics for Naruto, Black Clover, and The Witcher- they’ll be linked here as well as posted on this blog and my AO3 as I finish them.

[joanna-lannister]

For the fandom ask! ->8,12,17,18,19,24! I might have asked too many, so pick and choose as you like!! No pressure of course

Hi! Oh no, don't worry, it's not too many! I had fun answering them! Thank you so much for the ask ❤️✨

8. Fandom you're a part of that's the most obscure?

Can I say the JC fandom? Because it's a very small, unpopular fandom, and not many people are fond of Jaime and Cersei together. So even if I'm very vocal about them, I think it's the most obscure one I can think of.

12. Craziest thing you've ever done as part of a fandom?

Oh, I think it would be getting my JC tattoo! It was so big on my arm, I was scared at first, but now I'm used to it.

17. Favorite blog(s) in your favorite fandom?

The JC fandom is kinda dead to be fair but I would say:

@musical-chick-13

@imnotwholewithoutyou

@alexcabotgf (she hadn't posted JC gifsets in a long time, but her old ones are 👌🏻)

18. All-time favorite fanfic?

"therefore each to other bound" by copacet! This fic gave me everything I ever wanted, and the characterization is perfect.

19. Fanfic you read again and again?

Hmmm, I read "therefore each to other bound" a lot tbh, almost religiously. But I'd say "Until Death Do Us Part" by my friend Annie. It's a Modern AU where Jaime and Cersei are married, and I love it to pieces and keep reading it over and over again.

24. Funniest fandom-related story?

OMGGGG Once upon a time, I blocked another JC stan on Tumblr. Her behavior was really "Meh", very childish behavior, and she kept trying to fight br*imes. And so, I blocked her because I didn't like the vibe she was giving off and she was annoying. Girly got MAD, like mad MAD and everytime she tried to make friends with other JC stans, she used to shit on me. Once, years later, she tagged one of her fics "it's better than most of the Pentos AU you'll read" or something along the lines, and it pissed me off, because you don't shit on your fellow writers, especially in such a small fandom, so I made a vague post about it on my blog. I didn't mention her, only in the convo I had with my friend in the replies. But Ma'am was STALKING MY BLOG, LITERALLY. And a few days later later, she wrote a WHOLE LONG ASS POST about me on her blog, saying I was insane and unhinged. I found out because someone send me the adress of her blog. And honestly? It was hilarious, to see her still being mad years later after I blocked her as if I had murdered her whole family. I didn't say anything about that post because it made me laugh and I don't know what she became, but I do know AO3 banned her for her behavior.

[olderthannetfic]

Holocaust deniers, people who get mad at "forced diversity" (read: any non-white OC, focusing on non-white characters, mentioning any religion other than Christianity, etc.) and anti-queer people are a plague in the comments of Danny Phantom fics on FFN. The vast majority of the DP fandom uses FFN and doesn't want to move over to AO3, basically because there's so much fanfic for it there, so many collections of fics, etc. that it's what everyone's familiar with and has the most content.

I'm really torn because I want readers, obviously - I like the story I'm writing and I want other people to get to read it and enjoy it - but as a Jewish Arab I am a bit hesitant to walk into a place where I know some bullshit is going to ensue. Do you have any advice? Any ways I could possibly minimize the amount of bad comments I get? I know someone who wrote more queer ficlets every time she got a hateful comment on her queer content in the fandom and that did a lot to get people to stop, especially when she mentioned them in the summaries and author's notes as the inspiration that keeps her writing. And I love that, but I can't always get inspired, sit down and hammer out one-shots on the spot like she can.

I know this fandom is like this because the creator is the kind of conservative other conservatives cringe at (especially ever since his church tried to raise a kid from the dead). I know some of this is inevitable in fanfic, since nobody only gets purely positive comments. But if there's something I can do to minimize the amount of garbage I get, I would like to. And I know you've been in fandom much longer than I have (I mean I'm 18 so most people have but you know what I mean) so I thought maybe you might have some tips.

Sorry for the long, rambly comment. I know you get a lot of asks and normally I don't bother other people about my concerns. Learning to manage my own concerns and worries is part of growing up. But I think asking other people for insight is good too, sometimes.

(P.S. you've gotten me into knitting and it's really fun. My mom always said I was too old to learn but you're an adult and you got into it so that made me decide to take the plunge and I'm really happy I did.)

--

Your mom is silly! People get into crafts at all ages!

I think for the trolls on FFN, the general culture there respects the same kind of aggressive douchebaggery they dish out. If you appear totally unbothered and fire back at them, they see it as strength. If you're too nice or too upset, they smell blood in the water. A "LOLOLOL Fuck you too!" attitude will go a long way.

Whether it's worth dealing with them is another story.

[fallloverfic]

Kinda tired of "waaahhh old/dead fandom" comments, especially in Nimona fandom, especially when some people consider "old/dead" to be something from a couple days or weeks to a year or so, tops.

The webcomic "started" in 2011 (when Nate posted the first panels on tumblr on December 14th, 2011; they look different because Nate later redid the opening, particularly for graphic novel publication), was officially launched in June 2012, and concluded in September 2014. It was published as a graphic novel in 2015, and adapted into an audiobook in 2016. The movie adaptation was in some form of development since at least 2015 (when the rights were formally purchased/the contract was presumably completed; it was in negotiation for adaptation rights for some time prior to that, I believe since at least 2013 when Nate started hinting at it), when it was purchased by 20th Century Fox Animation. Across a studio purchase and closure and a project rescue (by Annapurna and DNEG), the movie wasn't released until 2023, meaning it was in some form of development for around eight years (it seemingly finished proper production by February 2023). Generally, this means the fandom has been around in some capacity for almost fourteen years. (And yes, the fandom was active prior to the movie release; a few comic characters were named at least in part due to fandom engagement, it had fanart and fanfics and cosplayers, and it was fannish interest that helped give the movie crew the drive to push to finish the project).

The fandom is still really active most everywhere, including tumblr, twitter, Instagram, and Archive of Our Own. The movie was nominated for awards through 2023 and 2024, and won the last one in September 2024. In October 2024, Nate announced a 10th anniversary release coming out in May 2025. There was even a Nimona big bang event here late last year.

Getting upset you "missed" the fandom/you're "late"/it's "dead" is just utterly weird, even if, on some level, there's a slight dip in fandom engagement on certain platforms compared to the "heyday" when the movie adaptation first released on Netflix. By most definitions I'm seeing, literally everyone whose first interaction with the fandom was watching the movie adaptation when it aired on Netflix in June 2023 is late. Have some folks moved on to other things? Yeah, it happens, while other people are reading the comic and/or watching the movie for the first time (or a rewatch) every day. The fandom is around, it didn't pop into existence on June 30th, 2023, and it didn't disappear at some nebulous point in 2024. And getting obsessed with avoiding posts that are a couple months old or whatever because, I don't know, how dare we acknowledge the past exists, would mean the movie wouldn't exist.

[wildelydawn]

2 7 11 17 18 35 40 47 73 for the writers ask game

I know it's a lot feel free to not answer all of them hahaha

Hello my dearest!! I will do all of them for you <3

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

It's very minor because he has so few lines/so little presence in the story, but it's when Big dies in II4Y. I didn't want him to die but I realized he needs to die for Kim to understand what permanent loss is. In chapter one, Kim is dealing with a break up, which is definitely a sort of loss, but once Chay and him begin to matter to each other again, Kim begins to realize that loss can be a lot worse, a lot more permanent. By chapter four, he's sort of gotten everyone back, right? Chay is talking to him, he's hanging out with his brothers. Big's death shocks him into remembering that it can be all taken away very quickly.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

I know that my first fic was something written for classic Fruits Basket, but I can't remember the plot for the life of me. It was probably fluff or a retelling of Kyo's transformation when his bracelet comes off. The earliest, actual fic I can recall the plot too very vividly is a Supernatural Megstiel fic, in which I rewrote parts of Hello, Cruel World so that Meg Masters finds Castiel's trenchcoat and body. Unfortunately, I deleted that story because I wrote it at the height of SPN, and Megstiel was a rough ship to write at the time lol. I wish I hadn't deleted it! It would've been cool to take another look at it now, or maybe even potentially rewrite.

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

The entire process of making Thai desserts/food for BSC90 has been so great. Like, truly unmatched. Outside of fandom, my research is really depressing and almost always about the Law/law. So to really deep dive into how these foods are made and how chocolate was/is produced in Thailand is really fun. I do take research pretty seriously, and I do what I can to be as accurate as possible. Right now, I'm pretty knee deep in reading about football/football RPF, and I recently followed a bunch of popular players on my Instagram, and that's been pretty wild. And, of course, can't forget my favorite Dutch politicians either. Though, that research wasn't for writing. I just really got interested in reading about the Netherlands and far right government officials. I find myself just rereading or watching Dutch debate whenever I can find translations, fan-written or official.

17. what is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

God. It changes so often, especially depending on my mood. Right now, it's from YLTTL:

The subtle but decreasing hesitations in WIK’s motions make Porchay unsteady and ashamed at the same time. In his dreams, he envisioned WIK as the criminal: keen on stealing Porchay’s heart and laughing mercilessly while walking away, leaving Porchay naked on the floor. He imagined, the other week, after WIK had left him alone, that at their best, they could only ever be temporary bliss: a mistake, heat of the moment, other clichés that left Porchay feeling angry and confused. He had resolved that if the moment were to come, he’d give himself entirely to WIK and blindly hope that WIK would do the same, and they could leave without saying anything more. 

Their togetherness, he cruelly imagined, would be one born of force, passionate with no regard for the future, a story as old as time: those with power taking advantage of those with none.

18. what is your most and least favorite part of writing?

The action of writing is my favorite part of writing. And also finding out if someone reread something of mine. Least favorite part is posting/submitting/publishing.

35. tell us about a character who’s very different than you who you love a whole lot

Definitely Chay. Chay is so different from me. I think what we have in common is poverty and independence, but other than that, Chay is such a bold, forward, dynamic character. He takes what he wants! When I wanted to ask out my current partner, I wrote a letter and then fled the country. Chay, on the other hand, just fucking shows up to where Kim is and calls it a date. I think he's the bravest character in the whole fucking show actually. All of what he does, what he navigates, is mostly done alone and independently and, up to a certain point, by choice. I admire that so much. He takes risks, even if it ends in detriment to himself. He's never static, he's never standing still. He feels things and acts on those emotions. Now, whether he processes them properly or maturely is up in the air, but he's not wallowing for long, and I truly think in a post-canon world, he would continue to do what he can to move on and adapt to his new life. That can be "Chay having a ho phase" or "Chay integrates into the mafia" or "Chay runs to Switzerland, meets Kang Yohan from The Devil Judge, and becomes a vigilante judge when he comes back to Thailand."

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

"You're probably going to get decimated, but everyone will have questions." This came from my dissertation advisor/mentor. And she was right!

47. what story are you most proud of?

It's definitely a tie between YLTTL and Still Painting Flowers for You. I'm quite proud of the latter. It's short and it has, what I feel, is a good balance of canon and a reflection of two very important women in my life.

Thank you for all these questions, my crunchy little friend! It was so fun to write this out hehe.

Ask me writer things!

[sodasa-was-taken]

Hey there, I'm curious about your thoughts on this. If the Gundam fandom particularly the English part isn't very fanfic-heavy, what's up with Gundam Wing having 50000 fanfics from FF dot Net and AO3 combined? And many of them still being updated. They even had a zine last year and I think you can agree that that's admirable for an old fandom. Compared to Gundam Witch, I'm only aware of 2, and one is even dead. Meanwhile, other M/M heavy fandoms have released more than a number of zines already.

I guess I can't help but compare the English fandom with the Japanese fandom which is releasing countless anthologies and events across the board to this day. Like many, I've read that fanfiction is the gage that people care about a fandom so I can't help but wonder if that is an old way of thinking and unlike Gundam Wing fans who are older, the fans of Gundam Witch are younger and just don't care about fanfiction anymore.

This is the first time someone has pointed out a flaw in one of my arguments. It's been a long time coming if you ask me.

I think I might not have expressed myself in quite the right way. I didn't mean to say that the English speaking part of the Gundam fandom isn't into fanfiction but that it has a proportionally small amount of people whose main thing is writing fanfic. I think it's silly to only use the amount of fanfiction to determine the size of a fandom because the skill sets and passions people within a fandom can have vary greatly. Some fandoms are huge on fan songs some barely have any or not at all. Some ships have more animatics dedicated to them than others and while popularity does play a role it's rarely if ever perfectly proportional. That's what I was trying to get at. The only way the output of a specific type of fan work would be a reliable way to determine the size of a fandom is if the ratio of that type of fan work to the amount of people in the fandom was at least somewhat consistent. In most cases it's anything but.

The disparities between Gundam Wing and g-witch makes perfect sense to me, but it doesn't have anything to do with young people not caring about fanfiction. Believe they absolutely do. The thing is Gundam Wing aired on Toonami back in 2000 as the first Gundam show to ever premiere on American television. It was a straight-up phenomenon in the way anime just isn't anymore in the west due to anime becoming a lot more mainstream within the last decade. The way it was distributed meant that a lot of people could stumble into it without already being in certain circles watch a few seconds while skipping between channels and decide to give it a try. This had the potential to bring in people with very varying interest because a lot of those who became fans hadn't actively been seeking out the show.

Compare that to a show like g-witch that came out in a time where streaming wars and algorithms mean you most likely wouldn't have just stumbled upon it unless you were already watching similar shows. People in the west had to main ways of learning about the show: either through someone they know or through the internet. There's basically no way anyone got into the show out of pure curiosity and this is pretty much true for any Gundam show since Unicorn. Anyway, my point is we've gotten more picky because we can be and it makes fandoms more homogeneous when it comes to taste than in the past.

When it comes to what kinda people do choose to watch g-witch there's three main points I've seen people bring up when recommending the show. It's a new take on Gundam. It's well produced. It's gay, I swear. These three things respectively appeal to existing Gundam fans, people who are passionate about the medium of animation, and fans of sapphic media especially those who like animated shows. If they are to join the fandom they're likely more than one of them. Without knowing for sure through what I have been able to observe I would guess it's people falling under the third category who are the most prolific Sulemio shipfic authors. In terms of the amount of fics that is as I'm almost certain it's a bunch of Gundam veterans who are responsible for the 300000+ words ongoing fics.

That was a longer answer than I would've predicted. Thank you for the ask.

[tomdutch]

Hey um I know there's a large chance that you most likely won't see this, but I just have to say this. When you had first spoken up about leaving the fandom I was confused as to why because I didn't really realize how dry it was becoming. I just wanna say how utterly correct you were. It has declined even moreee since your leave (not saying you caused it or anything). I sometimes find myself comparing the notes/reblogs from Tom!peter fanfics to the tasm!peter ones and the difference is astounding ( it has me wondering if anyone even knows that Tom!peter exists). It's really sad, the fandom honestly can't be revived, like where is everyone??? I have so many questions about the decline of content in the fandom ( I know the interactions from the readers played a huge part, but I also feel like there may have been other factor that lead to this.) Did everyone in the fandom just grow up or something?? Anyways, I miss you lots and hope you are doing well and your new fandoms are treating you right.

wow this was a doozy to read but in a good way 😭 the delusional main character side of me wants to think my absence had an impact of any kind lmaooo but to be honest, the fandom was already in really bad shape.

lack of reader interaction personally wasn’t that big of a factor for me, i was incredibly lucky and am still grateful for the consistent feedback and love y’all gave me and i still sometimes look through reblogs on my fave fics for writing inspo :”) it meant so much to me and i look back with so much fondness on all the fun times we had with more interactive series, especially break my heart.

not to sound like i’m giving a ted talk, but what drove me away more than anything was the toxicity of the fandom. granted all fandoms have a certain level of it, but this one was really, truly bad in 2021-2022. there’s only so much consistent harassment and suicide bait a girl can overlook while still feeling welcome and excited abt this space 😭 when i look back at that stuff now i’m honestly shocked so many people stayed as long as we did.

rabid shipping culture aside, i personally feel like the mcu spiderman franchise took a big hit in no way home that drove a lot of ppl away. obviously they couldn’t keep going forever with a 30 year old guy playing a 19 year old, but their creative decisions in nwh are questionable at best to me. the end of mcu peter’s story was so final and abrupt that, combined with how flip-floppy the writers were abt a follow-up trilogy with new characters and a time jump, didn’t leave much room for fanfic to carry on. they quite literally erased mcu peter as a character and individual from the mcu itself lmao it would be pretty hard for people to write copious fanfics about a guy who has no one bc no one knows who he is and his family is dead as hell.

that being said, i really am sorry you feel like it’s difficult to enjoy and share your passion in this space. that feeling sucks and i hope that, if you write fanfic, the lack of engagement and content doesn’t stop you from being creative and sharing what you wanna share. trends and fandoms come and go in waves, you never know when a piece of media or an actor has a revival in the general public. i don’t know what roles tom has going on but if you feel inspired to engage in them when the time comes, i’m sure there will be ppl there to interact. you’re never too ‘grown up’ to enjoy fandom, especially not one as iconic and timeless as spider-man in all variations. if there’s a character, there’s ppl out there creating art for them.

in the meantime, i hope life treats you kindly as well and thank you for your ask :”) if you ever wanna chat with me, i’m still active on my main, or if you’re more comfortable here i still check in on this blog every other month 💛

[margridarnauds]

If I may ask another, Romeo et Juliette?

A musical that I have a very, very complex relationship with.

It was one of my first French musicals -- not one of my favorites (I have ALWAYS been an Atia and Chouet girl), but one of my first. Good music, Aimer was one of my eternal, lovestruck romantic songs from my teen years, the OTP song to end all OTP songs; Verona was one of my favorite musical songs (once an Escalus fucker, always an Escalus fucker), I loved C'est le Jour (being used to historical lit and period dramas means I have....no reaction to first cousin marriages, so I shipped Tybalt/Juliet, sorry lads.)

There used to be a dedicated French musicals fandom on here, so I was talking with people who were more invested in it than I was, me and a friend once listened to the London cast together and memed it to death. And when that community imploded, I joined the RetJ fandom more specifically after a couple of years. And...I did enjoy it. I was mainly in my own little corner, but I was talking about it, I was creating content for it. I didn't agree with everything, especially the way that Japanese productions were routinely dismissed, and I thought that people could be very harsh on individual productions in a way that wasn't particularly fun, but...I did enjoy the experience. I did enjoy working with other people, especially since, as a Toho fan and ESPECIALLY as an Escalus fan (and as someone who really cares about the women more than Mercutio), I was very locked in my own little corner with a few other people.

I fell in love with the musical. And with Shakespeare's original. I still think that this is My Adaptation of Romeo and Juliet, because it is really wonderfully faithful while modernizing it without being grimdark or cynical (yes, even the Hungarian.)

And...I refuse to go into details, because I have no intention of dredging up old ghosts, but it ended. Badly. I evacuated myself from the communities I was part of, leaving them to someone who hated me because I didn't want to split the fandom. I wanted to leave quietly, discretely, while potentially keeping some bonds. They used it as an excuse to spread their smear campaign to my old circles, something that I only found out about over a year later. No one bothered to tell me. I noticed that people were pulling away, some people have even blocked me on here, or else quietly unfollowed me, but I didn't know why and I tried to convince myself it was paranoia. I reached out to someone and they assured me that nothing had been said about me. Something I later learned was untrue. I won't accuse that person of lying, because I don't have a timeline, and I understand wanting to keep the peace, but my reputation and my mental stability were NOT acceptable collateral damage. I was suicidal, dammit, and I'm not just mad at the people who started the smear campaign, but the people who didn't bother to listen to me when I needed them the most.

And...I would say I'm not bitter about it, but actually, I am. Of COURSE I'm bitter about it. Even if I wasn't the most active member, I was there for years. I deserved better. And it has profoundly impacted the way that I still carry myself in a fandom context, because some part of me is always looking behind my shoulder. (I. Have never been able to join the BG3 fandom in the way I'd have liked to for a number of reasons, including my ongoing fear caused by this incident.)

...but, by the same token, I did rebuild myself, bit by bit, with Takarazuka musicals, including the Zuka RetJ. I wrote RetJ fanfic for myself and, without having a fandom to worry about appeasing, I wrote what I wanted -- some of my longest fics of the last three years have been Benvolio/Escalus fics that I almost CERTAINLY wouldn't have published when I had the dead weight attached.

So -- gorgeous musical, the Toho production will eternally have a place in my heart. I'm very happy that I can look at it without shaking now.

[soopsiedaisies]

18, 22, 24 👀

Hiii!!

18-It’s absolutely criminal the fandom has been sleeping on…

Within the HP fandom, most things have already been done—but that doesn’t mean they’ve been done well or often enough in a fandom of this size, which means to me that it’s being slept on.

Personally I’m really interested in the Potter family and I just don’t see enough absurd theories about them. You’ve got this pureblood family that’s like… INCREDIBLY old: according to extended canon, they’re only two generations removed from the Peverell brothers (who were born about two centuries after Hogwarts was first established), considering Ignotus’ granddaughter married the first person in the family who took ‘Potter’ as his last name.

The Blacks have SO many fics with HC’s about their Long and Beautiful (and Horrible) History, but the Potters (the paternal family of the main character) get like… what? A mansion, sometimes? Or all their power comes from their Peverell ancestry, or their Gryffindor ancestry, or whatever Old and Powerful Extinct Family is left. There’s only a couple of fics that explore some quirks other than their hair or bad eyesight, or explore some funny little ancestry, and I genuinely think that’s a shame. Let the Potters weird and/or creepy, please (with the ODDEST collection of stuff in their vaults)

22-Your favourite part of canon that everyone else ignores

This one’s difficult because, again, most things in canon have already been covered and therefore ‘everyone’ is obviously an overstatement… but dammit if I don’t love (and hate) all the memorial shit Godric’s Hollow. From a wider perspective, this is being discussed with some frequency (at least, in the fanfics and meta I read), but that mainly focuses on the hero-ification of Harry and his dead parents in general. But keeping the destroyed house up and putting a sign on it, and having a statue of a young family commissioned and placed in a cemetery feels… weird to me? Because like, who’s it for? Not for Harry, at least—especially considering he wasn’t taken to GH at any point in his life and had to go himself with Hermione whilst they were actively being hunted down.

The intent behind it I can sympathise with: it’s for wizards and witches to remember the end of the first wizarding war. But it just feels so… tourist trap-y. Imagine thinking it’s a brilliant idea to have a statue made of two dead twenty-one year olds and their baby as a memorial for the war they accidentally ended. Accidentally!!! I just KNOW that neither Lily nor James were thinking about the war effort when Vee broke in, only about the survival of their child. And their house still standing… I dunno. Like I said, I get it to some degree, but it also feels foul. Like this violent end and the sacrifice these people made for their son is something to gawk at.

That being said, it is one of my favourite bits in canon because it only underlines how fickle and nosy the wizarding world (and the world at large) is. I’m sure it was seen as respectful in-universe at the time, but it’s really just the cherry on top of the absurdity that is Harry’s fame. I really liked that bit in A Marauder’s Plan when the house was being cleared out and reality set in—the dishes, the towels, the toys, the newspaper… it all still lying there, at which point Bill questioned why the entire world had been celebrating the death of two young parents and elevating an orphan to hero-status. It’s just so… I dunno. It got some emotion out of me, at least.

24-Topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Which ships are supposed to be the best, and which shouldn’t exist because they’re supposedly morally wrong. I’ve got a lot of tags blocked on Tumblr and I don’t frequent Twitter (sorry, ‘X’) so I thankfully miss the bulk of it, but just also… in general? Why are you threatening to dox people or sending death threats over a fictional SHIP?? Have you perhaps not yet developed the ability to predict potential consequences, or are you just a bully? It makes absolutely 0 sense.

[dreadlord-mr-son]

I was in the shower just now (because a bug rubbed itself all over me) and my mind wandered, as minds do. And it landed on Harry Potter.

And I had a realization that's been a long time coming.

I maybe would have thought of it sooner, if I hadn't been resisting the "if you so much as mention a Hogwarts House you're dead to me" crowd so much.

I've been stubbornly clinging to the IDEA of Harry Potter fandom. Why should I cede ground to the bigots? To the transphobes and the antisemites? Stop giving her money, yes. But the idea that just being into the fic and fandom was giving her attention? Was supporting her? Why should I accept her framing? What happened to stubbornly enjoying things our own way out of spite?

But this was holding me back from the self-reflection I needed to realize...

The franchise really doesn't have anything left for me any longer?

It's not that I think it's BAD. Not like the folks who are sour graping "well it was always terrible writing anyway". But when I think about it. About making fanart, or fanfic, or headcanons, or anything? Meh. No interest. No desire. Nothing to hook me. Nothing to stir strong emotions. Only scraps and pieces left to make me look twice at all.

And most of what I still like about it isn't unique. Boggarts? Fear beings? Plenty of other fantasy has those. House elves are basically brownies reinterpreted to be worse. I can find so much stuff in other fantasy worlds.

This especially stands out as I get into other old stories from my childhood. Ones that I sometimes look back on with longing and curiosity. "I should reread/rewatch that!" I think. But not with Harry Potter. I don't... feel the urge to revisit it. It's not repellent but neither is it attractive. It's just there. Part of my past. Existing.

So I think it's time to do what I did with the Yogscast and take what few parts I still want and walk out with them.

Tuck Draco under my arm and throw Snape over my shoulder and carry them away like war spoils.

I suppose it's no surprise, for me at least, that what I still want are the ambiguously villainous characters. The rich boy too scared to either commit to or reject evil, and the bitter misanthrope who betrayed evil for petty personal reasons.

Characters who aren't good, but who could be given a path to be better, if they were led down it by the nose. I could find places to put them. I'd have to translate them, for most. Fit them into new settings and new worlds. Reskin them to belong somewhere else. But I've done that before. I have practice. It pretty much counts as one of my hobbies, at this point.

And if I took ones riddled with fanon and headcanons? Well, that's no mistake. I took the ones I wanted best, after all.

So I guess... that's where I am now. After finally waving the smoke from my eyes and getting a good look at where I am. Picking through the burning rubble for the last treasures left and heading out with them.

You win, JKR. Even my spite isn't strong enough any more to keep clinging to your world. I leave it in your hands.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some psychic white horses to reintroduce myself to...