#the fact that they’re milk white is WRONG

[venux777]

just remembered the vackers aren’t canonically desi…… dhmu

[pedge-page]

Baby Sarah and Joel playing tug of war over the tv remote has to be the funniest thing ever , Joel watching tv one night and the remote is resting on the coffee table and the channel randomly changes and he turns to see Sarah just pressing buttons then joel immediately takes it to change the channel back and the brat fusses and tries slapping Joel’s hands and biting even having to get reader involved in the mix

Joel Dealing with Sarah: Theatrics

warnings: none :)

- - - -

Joel is fucking exhausted. Yeah he says that a lot, but damnit, that’s what happens when you have a pregnant monster for 9 months and then a whole ass baby monster for the next year!

You had gone to bed right after dinner with little Sarah. There may have been a debacle about Joel buying the wrong flavor of chocolate chip cookies despite you specifically saying regular chocolate chip earlier. He grabbed the raisins by mistake, and now he’s condemned to the couch (for the next hour or so till you’re out cold and won’t remember whether he was in bed with you or not).

It works out, though. He sighs heavily, propping  one foot then the other over the coffee table with his cup of decaffeinated tea. The house is quiet for once. He gets alone time for once. 

Scrolling through the saved tapes on the DVR, he finally finds the last home renovation episodes he’s missed these past few weeks. He chucks the remote somewhere, sits back, and turns his brain off for some quality Joel time.

The poorly acting woman goes on about the gorgeously boring white paint they’re gonna splash over the entire kitchen when suddenly the Jigsaw puppet creepy thing jumps on the screen and nearly sends Joel over the couch with a heart attack.

He looks around for the damn remote he must have nudged with his thigh when he spots his diapered one year old sitting upright next to him, the remote the size of her entire arm sitting in her lap with both hands on the bottoms. 

“Jesus—fuck kid. Where did you come from???” He whispers, looking around wondering if you put her here mysteriously without being noticed.

Sarah smiles with her gummy mouth like she’s not at all disturbed by the contents of the TV.

“Aight kid, gimme the remote, it’s not a toy—“ as he reaches for the devices, she yanks it back furthest away from him.

“Hey! Listen to me right now—“ he leans further, his arm outstretched in front—when she clamps down with her little gums.

“AY! SARAH! NO bitting!” He grits his teeth and reaches again but Sarah whines and slaps his bitten hand repeatedly with the remote. He manages to push a button, but she snatches it right back and hits another. The TV flashes between channels, volumes and mute, and different inputs like its having seizure as Joel and Sarah loudly grunt and whine at each other, tugging it back and forth.

Joel’s partially amazed at the incredible gripper strength she has on the remote, refusing the let it part from her tiny fingers that are latched on law claws. That, and the fact that she’s pulling enough strength that he isn’t sending her flying over his shoulder is making him wonder what kind of muscle milk you must be feeding her.

“Let GO!” He shouts, his arm straining with one hand on the remote, but she puts that big back in it and is yanking back towards her way with both of her baby paws tightly secured around its middle.

The TV is at full volume now, as are their angry growling at one another. So much that neither of them realize you had gotten up and were standing right behind the couch, rubbing your eyes viciously at the scene.

“WHAT—“

Joel and Sarah stop and turn, frightened by mom-zilla, who’s at her worst when she’s prematurely awaken. 

“IS. GOING. ON.”

Joel opens his mouth, ready to get the little brat in trouble and have a shout when sneaky little Sarah immediately lets go of the remote and launches herself back, crying loudly. She makes heavy eye contact with you through tears and her pained wailing while rubbing her chunky arm, squeezing her little lids shut so that the tears fall fat across her puffy cheeks. All while Joel’s got the remote tightly gripped in his hand.

“Joel!” You rush to pick up your baby and cradle her to your chest, which she totally nuzzles into.

“I didn’t do anything!” He shouts incredulously, and perhaps a little too off tone because there’s no way you didn’t see her just fake her injury by pretending he hit her. “She’s faking it! You saw!”

On cue, Sarah screams harder into your shoulder, huffing up and down like she can’t catch her breath. 

You wave your hand over to shush him. then you point to the couch. “Rest of the week. You. here.” 

He bites his tongue hard as the two of you walk back to your bedroom. He catches the minx give a little glance back over your shoulder with a toothless grin. 

If he could wring that child, he would. But he knows he’s gotta wait before he can start cooking her for real.

The theatrics of Sarah Miller are strong enough to rival your own.

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow

[causenessus]

new grounds

part 0.6. TOXIC TRAIT . . . 1.5.2024

PLAYING IN THE CAFE . . . atomic vomit by steve lacy

it’s 10 o’clock. not in the afternoon, at night. she’s huddled in a corner next to keiji, the both of them leaning on each other and periodically dozing off and then shaking the other awake. 

kageyama is a few feet away from her on her right, playing with his hands as they wait for their manager who is late as per usual.

yachi is a little more energetic, sitting a chair’s distance away on keiji’s side, swinging her feet as she scrolls on her phone. she giggles at something which draws all of their attention.

“akaashi,” she says, turning towards him. “do you want to tell me about this condom thing?”

“oh god,” keiji removed his arm from around y/n’s shoulder to cover his face with his hands. 

y/n laughs as she sits upright in her chair, it had only happened a few days before, but it felt like forever ago.

“what more is there to say? keiji’s tweet summed it up pretty good,” she answers and keiji groans at the thought.

kageyama tries his best not to look as he listens. his phone is buzzing with texts from a group chat. his friends are trying to encourage him to talk to her after he told them she was here. but he can’t. instead, he’s on google researching condoms and microphones, something he never thought he’d be doing. ever.

then a bell chimes as the door opens and their manager walks in, a small corduroy bag around her shoulders over a white puffer jacket. 

“happy holidays, sorry i’m late,” she slings off her bag as she talks.

everything is pointless here. they’re all pretending to listen to her as if they respect her and she’s pretending like she actually does her job. but maybe that’s all his opinion.

“this last year was pretty good. we lost some people but you’re all new additions and you’ve been handling this great. i help out when i need to, i accommodate when you guys need some days off…” it was slowly transitioning into statements about her, which she realized and quickly cleared her throat, pulling out a folder. “the only things i can say is you all need to do better about getting to work on time and calling out. if you’re all gonna call out one day at least tell me a day ahead or something. it’s not like i can stop you guys from doing it, just don’t make it a habit,” she sighs, running a hand through her hair. “i think that was all, if you guys can hang out here for 20 minutes more, we’ll all get paid extra. everything’s free today for you guys, so if you want anything just let me know and i’ll make it for you.”

y/n settles back down into her chair with a steaming chai latte, curling back up against keiji, whose sipping on a brewed green tea. yachi is happy with a hot chocolate, and kageyama has a mug of warm milk in his hand.

none of them want caffeine right now, it’s too late. they all just want to go home but they aren’t going to miss out on being paid just for sitting around.

but something bothers her about the fact that kageyama’s been on his phone this whole time. he keeps texting someone, she assumes, and for some reason that sits wrong with her. she wants to know what’s going through his head and who he’s talking to. a part of her wishes he would look at her, or ask how she’s doing.

maybe that’s asking for too much, it sounds comedic just thinking about it. he’s never talked to her more than he needed to. he’s never been one to say “how are you?” but maybe after her havoc on twitter, she thought he’d be more interested.

he's unlike anyone she's ever met, and maybe that's what makes her care so much. she's never cared so much about what anyone thought, or in garnering a simple look from them.

but he won't look at her and she can't predict how he's going to act, and she doesn't know how to handle that except by telling herself that she hates him.

“look at him,” y/n can’t help but whisper to the companion she’s leaning against, still facing towards the boy who’s mindlessly scrolling on his phone as he sips on his drink. “look at the state we’re in and he doesn’t even care. he hasn’t looked at us once.”

keiji raises his brows in surprise at her comment. what did it matter what he cared? but then he pieces it together.

“well, he’s seen me like this once at the beginning of the fall during our first show. but yachi’s right,” he gives her a sly smile as she tilts her head back, looking at him confused, “you really do care what he thinks.”

her face turns red at the thought and she immediately sits up, staring down into the swirling foam of her latte. “i do not,” she mumbles.

"i don't care," she whispers again. but she can't even bring herself to say it confidently.

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

kageyama literally knew y/n would be at the celebration because it was a mandatory and he had overheard her talking about in their psych class once to a classmate but he wasn't actually prepared

he immediately opened up his gc when she walked in and said "she's here" and the gc subsequently blew up

my boy was literally texting about yn the entire night but she thought he was just on his phone </3

the gc was trying so hard to get her to talk to him and he had the nerve to say things like "she looks busy" "she looks tired" "she's laying against akaashi right now"

which is when hinata with all the love in the world but not the brightness of someone intelligent said he should spill a drink on them so that she wouldn't be laying on him anymore (literally not said with any malice he's heard from bokuto how cool he is)

yams screamed no in the groupchat and outloud...because tsukki, hianta and him were all in the same room texting the groupchat in silence

other than that hinata was going off with the advice and giving kageyama all the reasons why he could talk to y/n

y/n keeps looking at akaashi because she wants to open her mouth and express how she really feels about kageyama (which would come up as a jumble of undiscernible words) but doesn't know what he'll say so then she looks away

yachi can't work on sunday because she's going to an art auction!! <3 how coincidental

(also my brain for some reason really wanted to write the written part in the present tense for absolutely no reason which i was trying to fight and then got confused so hopefully it still flows ok </4)

taglist: @ncitygreen @lvrlamp @cherrypieyourface @mimi3lover @lees-chaotic-brain @frootloopscos @0moonii @cr4yolaas @eggyrocks @pinkiscool @httpakkeiji @localgaytrainwreck @lunaviee @kitty-m30w @lixie-phoria @aliruuiz @tartfrappe @corvid007 @iluv-ace @yvjitadori @k8nicole (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[faithst]

STRAWBERRY MILK ༄ HYJ

synopsis yujin is very popular in school and gets frequent confessions. when reader ignores his existence, he thinks that they hate him. so, he tries to bribe reader with snacks.

pairing classmate!yujin x gn!reader

genre fluff, platonic

mentions gyuvin, gunwook

warnings mentions of snacks

masterlist<3

it wasn’t unknown to anyone that han yujin was incredibly favored in school albeit having a relatively shy character. he was multiple students’ eye candy and even had a fan club! being used to the attention, he didn’t take satisfaction in how you weren’t providing him any.. at all.

it’s not like you didn’t believe he was attractive but you cared to focus on your studies better than a mere boy and that rubbed yujin the wrong way.

“hyung, i haven’t gotten any gifts from them yet!” yujin signaled you to gyuvin using his eyes “maybe they’re working on it, why are you so worked up on one person that isn’t being up in your face?” gyuvin quirked his brow, amused at the sight.

“do they hate me? i don’t want people to hate me!” yujin frowned, crossing his arms together “i’m sure they don’t hate you, yujin-ah.” the older boy smiled, patting his friend’s back.

every day when yujin walked into his classroom, there would be at least two chocolates or letters on his table. especially on white day, the gifts kept piling over and yujin would share the snacks he was given with his friends.

he memorized every confession letter as they all started and ended the same way but ever since he noticed that you weren’t interested in him, he kept inspecting every recent letter to see if it was from you. none.

“still nothing?” gunwook questioned, feeling nearly bad for the distressed kid, whose head was face first on the table. “having one person dislike you doesn’t mean anything, yujin..” gyuvin sighed, fed up with yujin’s beliefs about you. “what if they secretly curse me and they plan to use everything against me in the future?!” eyes enlarged at the rash thought.

“then how about you switch it up?”

no, yujin did not like gyuvin’s idea as he has never done this before but he swallowed his pride. so there he is, holding a small bag full of various kinds of snacks that he borrowed from gyuvin. feeling a bit chipper for once, he made his way to your table, secretly loving the looks he got from his ‘kind act’. “hi! i know we don’t talk much but i got you some snacks!” shoving the small plastic bag into your face. you glance up at him, confused at the sudden moment.

“oh, um.. thank you?? but i’m not hungry..” confusion is written all over your complexion. “oh that’s okay! you can have it later.” he kept encouraging you to keep it but you were more persistent than he thought “i don’t eat those kind of snacks.. sorry.” (what are you? jiwoong?) you told as a last attempt to stop the boy from bothering you. “oh.” was all he said, interrupted by the teacher entering the classroom.

for the next few days, he left you alone while trying to figure out another resort. that’s when he caught on the fact that you always drink milk in the morning before class starts, so that was his next objective. he got up super early in the morning to buy you milk at a nearby convenience store. feeling hopeful once more, he placed the milk on your table, and you raised your head to see a familiar face. “you like milk right? here.” with a wide grin and proud shoulders.

“i don’t like banana milk, yujin.”

yujin, who was laidback, is now trying to hide his red ears from the embarrassment. what was this deja vu he was feeling? of course, the sudden remark had gotten stares from around and soon enough, people started speculating that he had a crush on you.

feeling pity for the boy, you decided to give him a not-so-subtle suggestion. after class was over, you called out to the boy “yujin, wait up!” he stopped in his tracks and faced you. “i do like milk, strawberry milk.” you smiled to not make him feel like a fool and he was relieved that you didn’t think he was a nuisance.

ever since then, every morning there would always be a bottle of strawberry milk on your table and a han yujin awaiting your reactions from a distance.

© keiwook

[storiesofsvu]

A Cup of Juju

Addison Montgomery x reader warnings: maybe some language, just some cute fluffy flirting. a little drabble from a request that's been sitting in the inbox for like, 2 years LOL. oops. Taglist here. Buy me a ko-fi.

Seattle Grace had been your placement for a few years now and as chaotic as things could get, you found that it was exactly where you wanted to be. You’d been specializing in obstetrics and had been debating transferring to a different nursing program considering the lack of an OB attending until The Addison Montgomery walked through the hospital doors and you knew you were staying put no matter what. She was incredibly talented, hardworking, admirable, professional and as friendly as she needed to be, but she would always fall into the group of fancy high level doctors who half the time didn’t even realize just how much work the nurses were putting in. It wasn’t anything against her personally, it was just the way things fell through the cracks and honestly, she was better at getting to know patients personally than others around the hospital.

You were sitting at the nurses station, a single ear bud in to keep an eye on videos playing on your phone while you were finishing up a couple of charts and discharge paperwork. It had been a relatively uneventful day, a couple of check ups on moms and babies, some who were staying for another night and some who would be out of there before you could even punch out. The view in front of your phone was suddenly blocked, the white flash of a doctor’s coat before a coffee cup remained sitting on the counter. You glanced up to see Dr Montgomery standing on the other side of the counter with a soft smile on her face.

“Thank you?” You cautiously raised a brow, “or is this some sort of bribe to deal with the mom in two oh eight? Because I’m pretty much done your charting already.”

“You know I was coming back after lunch to finish that.” She replied in a near teasing tone, leaning against the counter, “and it’s not a bribe, just… good juju. Half sweet vanilla with oat milk, right?” She said with a little shrug and your head tilted as you continued to stare at her and she suddenly faltered, ducking her gaze while her cheeks pinkened.

She was about to step away from the counter and pretend like it never happened when you finally reached for the cup, cautiously taking a sip to not burn your tongue. You let out a near dreamy sigh as the flavour and warmth spread through your body and Addison couldn’t help but smile when the corners of your lips curved up.

“Juju, hey?”

“I mean, you’ve been my scrub nurse for over a year now, I figured it would be a decent way to start an actual conversation… maybe even convince you into joining me for coffee one morning?”

“What?” Your brow furrowed as your head titled once again and Addison let out a groan, her face dropping into her hands.

“Oh god. I completely misread things… you’re one of the ones who calls me spawn of Satan behind my back, aren’t you?”

“No!” You nearly jumped up out of your seat, “no, no. Sorry! I just..  I— honestly didn’t think you even knew my name. And honestly if I was going to call you spawn of Satan it would be to your face, not behind your back.” She glanced up at that, a small chuckle on her lips.

“So what do you call me behind my back?” She asked with a raised brow and it was your turn to blush, though she didn’t give you time to fully answer, “and of course I know your name, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you’re The Addison Montgomery… you always have a million things on your plate, and half the doctors on this staff don’t know the nurses names unless they’re sleeping with them.” You paused, “and from what I’ve heard sometimes even then they get them wrong…”

“God.” She muttered, rolling her eyes because you were in fact, correct, leaning back against the counter, “well I do in fact know your name. You’re y/n Fossen, you’re without a doubt the best scrub nurse I’ve had, I’m pretty sure I got your coffee order right and…” she surveyed you for a moment, her lip tugged into her mouth, “your drink of choice is gin, but with soda… and extra lemon on the side instead of lime.”

“Have you been stalking me Dr Montgomery?” Your voice softened as to not be overheard, raising a brow at her and she chuckled, her own voice lowering.

“No. I just happen to have a bad habit of staring at pretty things who are also incredibly smart and happen to be absolutely adorable when they’re blushing.”

“You don’t say.” You murmured over the rim of your coffee in an attempt to hide behind it and she laughed, the smile lingering on her cheeks.

“To get to the point, I’d really like to buy you a drink tonight, maybe dinner?”

“You already bought me a drink.” You raised the coffee up in your hand. Before she could reply, the call light went on over room two oh eight and practically the whole floor groaned. You moved to stand from your chair but Addison held up a hand to stop you.

“No. I’ll deal with her.” She paused after a couple of steps, “are you really done my charting?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay well then drinks really are on me tonight.” She flashed you a dazzling smile before making her way down the hallway and you knew the one on your face in that moment was a dreamy one.

Turns out all it takes some days is a cup of good juju to secure a date with the stunner you’d been lowkey crushing on for a year. From that day forward, if you were ever offered juju, you were definitely going to take it.

___________

@svulife-rl @temilyrights @summergeezburr @ssa-sapphic @mickey-gomez @clarawatson @hbkpop @itisdoctortoyousir @emilyprentiss4life @somethingimaginative17 @borg-queer @swimmingstudentchaos891 @red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @disneyfan624 @littlegaybabe @mysticfalls01 @bumblebear30 @solemnnova @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @narvaldetierra @dxtery @kellykidd @poisonedcrowns @summergeezburr @temilyrights @alexxavicry @anya-casablanca  @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @aliensaurusrex @alcabots @wandsmxmff @7thavenger @dextur @m00nkn1ghts @augustvandyne @msvenablesbitch @peanutbutterprincess @kdaghay  @sapphicprentiss

[captain-lessship]

Candy Corn

A/n: and so it begins. Enjoy and forgive me when I undeniably post the rest not on my schedule I have in my head <3

Even after years of running your candy shop, You were not a sweets person. There was also a theory that you were not a sweet person.

You specifically hated chocolates. Whether they were dark, milk or white, even if they had nuts or dried fruit, you simply did not like it.

But of course, the cocoa based bars followed you where ever you went because everyone else in the world seemed to like it and you liked the money, who wouldn’t?

Yet each time you recognized your dislike of candy, you couldn’t help but think about a few interesting interactions you had seven years ago.

You sighed as you heard the bell to the shop ding, “Hello, Welcome to the House of Haroldson Chocolates, what can I do for you!” You didn’t lift your eyes from the book you were reading until a pair of shoes approached the counter.

You looked up and saw a very odd looking individual. A lanky man with brown hair and greenish eyes that was dressed in odd pattern combinations was standing there, slightly smiling at you.

“Hello! I was just planning on looking around but since you asked, what is your most popular chocolate?”

You looked him up and down, “Well, I guess it would be our dark chocolate with hazelnuts and white chocolate drizzle.”

You were still trying to figure out why he was dressed like that when he spoke again, “What’s your favorite?”

Your favorite? None. But you knew that your dad, who was the owner and therefore your boss, wouldn’t be happy if you said that.

“I’m not really a chocolate person. I prefer these.” You turned around and plucked a random jar from the wall. The jar had pink and yellow striped squares and were very shiny. “These are Strawberry Shortcake Drops.”

“Can I taste one?” He asked, you thought about it before slipping on a glove on one hand and opening the jar with the other. You plucked one of the squares from the container and gave it to the man.

He popped it into his mouth, eyes turning from joyful to very deep in thought, as if he was trying to taste every single grain of sugar and drop of flavoring. He was entertaining to say the least. You couldn’t help but take one yourself and eat it, trying to see if there was something wrong.

Nope. Vanilla. Strawberry. It was right.

“Is this really your favorite? You don’t seem to like it.” He asked.

“If I am being honest, I do not like chocolate or candy.”

He looked surprised at this, “Why?” He couldn’t fathom that someone dressed as fun in a pale pink dress shirt, striped tie and white pants as you were could dislike candy. It just didn’t seem right.

You shrugged, “Just isn’t my thing. But do you like them?”

His brain was temporarily fried over the fact that someone could dislike sweets. “They’re good. Could I get a small bag of them and a bar of the dark chocolate you talked about earlier?”

You nodded as you began getting his order together. He watched you intently as you pulled a bar of chocolate from the case and filled a bag with the candies, noting the care you took with each part of the order.

As you handed it to him and took the money from him, he smiled at you, “I will find a chocolate you’ll like.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, “I don’t like chocolate Mister…”

“Willy Wonka.” He said. He then stole a glance at your name tag. It was a nice name.

“Mister Willy Wonka.” You smiled.

[showtoonzfan]

Someone posted the stream highlights on this thread.

https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/136264145/#136264195

I’m just going to only go through the one’s that were the most important to me or the ones I felt like talking about.

>“Viv was responsible for the dildo scene, Adam (the episode writer) had no knowledge of the scene”

Well that just makes me feel a whole lot better. (Sarcasm) Adam is still a shitty writer but to learn that this was VIV’s idea is….wow, I mean it makes sense, girl loves her mlm fetishization and is way too horny a writer for my liking.

>“S2E2 and E3 were hectic to make since they started being made at the same time as Hazbin Hotel started production, resulting in split teams”

Ah, and it shows, THAT’S why the animation in those episodes are so choppy and awkward and the quality drops constantly.

>“goofy Millie music scene coming up very soon”

I’d say I hope this has something to do with her character or something that will possibly expand on her personality but I doubt it. It’s probably some wacky country song or maybe another love song between her and Moxxie.

>“Viv consideres Stolas, as a character, is full of pain and emotion. Difficult to write. Very positive character (kind natured but very flawed) but is dealing with a lot.”

Of course Viv. He’s SO flawed and complex. That’s why his daughter is at fault for not seeing the fact that he’s miserable or appreciating his care for her. That’s why Blitz is at fault for breaking his poor uwu heart. That’s why Stella is at fault because she’s an evil bitch right?? Yeah, we can tell he’s filled with drama Viv, but I’m surprised he’s difficult to write for you since your viewpoint on him is so black and white. You call him complex and flawed but you never treat him that way. You just like to milk his sadness constantly and baby him to prove that he’s an innocent Uwu bean who’s done nothing wrong and only the characters AROUND him are at fault. Your words in livestreams about him are such bs.

>>“Viv states that eventually Stolas will become more involved in how he relates towards the other members of the core cast (Moxxie, Millie)”

Judging by the leaks I do expect Stolas to go live with IMP at one point since Octavia and/or Andrealphus and Stella kick him out, and maybe I’m speaking too early but….lmao Stolas and Moxxie and Millie have nothing in common. I’m not even interested in whatever they’re going to pull for this because their whole dynamic is that Stolas never gave a shit about Moxxie and Millie, seeing them as lower life forms and constantly disregarding them because he only cared about Blitz. See what happens when you have a powerful prejudice character and then retcon him into an Uwu baby? It gets weird. Don’t worry, I’m sure Viv will retcon the fact that Stolas was prejudice towards imps and act like it never happened too! Also I’m sure he’ll relate to Moxxie more, cause…ya know, Millie has no fucking character. That’s all we need tho, Stolas butting in to the MAIN cast and overshadowing the characters and dynamics that are barley developed. It’s going to be a disaster.

“>As noted above, Millie, Octavia, Stolas and Fizz have bits of personal experiences written into them”

I always knew that Viv poured her “personal experiences” into some characters and was a self insert writer at times, but lmao you’d think Millie and Octavia would be written with more respect if that was the case for them, but Viv doesn’t give a shit about them. Again, Millie has no character so I don’t know how that could relate to something of Viv. Stolas and Fizz tho? I could definitely believe lol.

>“viv adores crossovers, she hopes in the future she can have crossovers between HH and HB”

What??? I could have sworn Viv said that she wouldn’t do a crossover with HH and HB. Kinda thought the whole point was that Helluva was the indie one where Viv could make her own stuff and Hazbin was the actual big show. I dunno, I like crossovers too but I don’t think this one would fit.

I felt like screenshotting the last part I wanted to talk about because it’s basically all of this.

1. This is PART of the reason why Viv’s world is so messy. Everything feels so scrambled because she wants to shove in a bunch of mythologies and texts and everything into one and that just makes your world less consistent and more confusing.

2. I don’t even know why Viv says these things because she never focuses on them anyway. Again, her hell is just an underwhelming city and there’s never a deep dive into the mythologies in the first place, aside from background shit or a name drop. Still, this is starting to become Zoophobia where she has too many ideas and is too ambitious and wants to dump a lot of things into one. It’s funny, I saw part of this livestream, and she willingly can openly admit that the comic was a mess and she poured too many ideas into it, but she just……does the same for Hazbin and doesn’t realize it—-

Okay I’m done. I will post a clip or talk about some of the stuff said in the OTHER livestream (the one that was a mess) but for now here are my thoughts. Honestly tho EVERYTHING Viv says in a livestream is a mess. None of the insight or attitude she displays there never comes into the show or even real life with her criticism shit fits and all. It’s all a joke ugh.

[prettyrealm]

Long rant ahead! Watch out!

When will people realize that at the end of the day, men WILL ALWAYS be men. Obviously not all men are the same...but A LOT of them are.

Giiiirrrrl honestly, don't these kpop fans and stans feel embarrassed? Personally as I'm losing ALL interest in celebrities and I'm just starting to see them as people who have more money and fame than me, the way these fans and stans be acting is honestly concerning. Korean celebrities especially idols have said time and time again how their companies will literally assign them roles to play in their groups. Do y'all really believe that most of these idols -especially the male ones- are completely genuine? Have y'all forgotten that South Korea is a conservative, homogeneous AND misogynistic country?

Kpop fans/stans will use the excuse of these idols being from a conservative country to excuse their racism, colorism, homophobia etc but at the same time will deny the possibilities of these idols being misogynistic? Shit babe just like how majority of these idols are most likely racist, colorist, and homophobic...they're most likely misogynistic as well. It is what it is. Y'all will watch vids of Korean women themselves telling y'all the truth about living as a woman in South Korea and y'all will agree yet at the same time say "bUt NoT mY bIaS/iDoL" but I'm never surprised because I also believe that most of these fans have internalized misogyny as well. Just because you're a girl/woman doesn't mean that you can't be misogynistic OR have internalized misogyny.

Also have you not seen the OBSESSION with these idols "future spouse/twin flames" or whether or not they'll date "foreigners?" there's nothing wrong with being curious about celebrities but whew! 😭😭😭 a lot of fans are just too fucking obsessed. Why are you more concerned about someone else's future spouse/twin flame when you have your own? I could NEVER be 20+ years old and worried about JK or V future spouse/twin flame, I'd be worried about my own future spouse/twin flame. TF!

Also I definitely agree about the racist part too! There's a lot of infantilization going on as well. The way these kpop stans/fans baby these idols especially the adult ones, is just weird. Imagine "western" fanbases doing that shit. Imagine the beyhive calling Beyonce "baby bee😙😙" or some shit the way armies be calling JK "banana bunny cookie milk" or whatever tf they be calling him. Calling Suga, a grown ass man mind you, "Meowmeow"....WTF????😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂💀💀💀💀 The way that K-pop stans and fans go out of their way to defend these idols and excuse them for literally everything that they do whether it be racism, colorism, homophobia makes me believe that they really do view them as Godly beings that can absolutely do no wrong. Y'all DO NOT have the same energy for western celebrities- especially the black, white ones! Don't you realize that they're human just like you...damn...para-social relationships will have people going absolutely crazy over people that shit and piss just like every other human on earth. Luckily there are some kpop fans and stans that are completely sane and normal! Kudos to y'all! 💗💕💖

They’ll never apply “men will be men” to kpop boys because they don’t see them that way. These are not ordinary men, these are imaginary boyfriends. They’ll never be able to get that they can be just as bad as any other guy in their life. You said it perfectly, celebrities are normal people with way more money, fame & power than you and it’s crazy how people want to assume that somehow makes them better people instead of worse…& yeah i think a lot of that infantilization stuff mostly just come back to not seeing them as humans or normal people because no matter how fine my friends think a guy or a celeb is they’re not about to be calling no grown man no sugar plum or gumdrop idk..

I agree Internalized misogyny 100% plays apart as well, like the fact that I, a woman, receive hate from what would mostly be other women & girls for saying a man has misogynistic tendencies says A LOT.

People will make the argument that these idols are humans and you shouldn’t even entertain the possibility of them being misogynistic/racist/homophobic or whatever & I feel like that’s not only illogical, but dehumanizing in itself because like you said, we never see this grace being extended to non Asians or people outside of that industry. No matter how much these stans wanna yell “my idol is human” they don’t actually mean it or view them that way. They mean their idol is the PERFECT human that can do no wrong.

& that’s what really blows me is how OBVIOUS they make it that this is a racial thing. I didn’t have people sending me hate when I said Matty Healy, Timothee Chalamet & Blueface had issues w misogyny. Didn’t get hate when I said Pinkpantheress has problems with women either. Seems you just aren’t allowed to say it about Asian men 🤔🤫

But yes, luckily they’ll always be people like you and a few others who are actually able to see understand that these idols are just as human & flawed as your brother, sister, neighbor or coworker! Thank you so much for your support and taking the time to reach out! 🩷🩷🩷

[quietlywatchingwritingreading]

So it's been awhile since I posted about anything, and I figured I may as well post some thoughts I have about the Beast Cookies.  For the sake of length and potential spoilers, i’ll put this under a readmore. 

This is a very long post.

As a general, I love the fact that each of their evil counterparts basically reflects their greatest weakness/the thing that’s caused them the most trouble. 

Pure Vanilla not telling his friends what happened, being a lie that only hurt them when they learned he kept such a secret. Dark Cacao was apathetic when he wasn’t investigating information/verifying it, leading to the attempted usurp and countless cookies in his kingdom suffering. Even then, it was not something that lasted for very long, and perhaps his apathy was in not reacting to something he knew was wrong. He clearly knew something was up when Affogato tried to get Caramel Arrow Banished,  but he still allowed it to happen. For Golden cheese, the destruction of her kingdom, and coming to terms with that, is her greatest concern. White Lily not telling anyone anything, is what would lead to all of these events. 

Now sloth, sloth’s an interesting one. One I thought worthy of its own paragraph. Sloth is often depicted as laziness, but another interpretation is about the Status Quo. Hollyberry giving up the throne, taking on a second life, and trying to live her life as an adventurer as she had done in her past is far from lazy. Yet, in that lens, that entire thing could be viewed as sloth, as she was trying to maintain/return to a certain status quo. 

Shadow Milk Cookie is a pretty interesting counterpart to Pure Vanilla Cookie. I love the vibes of a Jester to their king, especially with the often repeated story that a Jester was often the only person who could actually tell the truth to the king. I’m not entirely sure what ‘Shadow Milk’ is. I imagine it's supposed to be a mythical/mystical ingredient. Milk that came from a shadow of some sort. 

On complete baseless speculation: Cereal milk is something of a fad in the coffee world. Instead of using regular milk for lattes, people soak milk in strongly flavored cereals, and then use that flavored milk. It makes me wonder if Shadow Milk Cookie’s actually milk infused with a Shadow Brand cereal. 

As an ingredient, Milk is one that is often masked/flavored. It’s often also seen as ‘childish’, in the sense that it's something frequently given to children. So I really like how they represented that with the character. They’re certainly important/visible, but they aren’t 100% trustworthy. Yet they aren’t always lying, and their lies do provide information. It makes them rather interesting, and makes me want to learn more about them. I also like how Pure Vanilla couldn’t really do anything about his counterpart , making me feel this is one of those situations where the characters can’t fight their counterparts, but their friends could. 

Mystic Flour Cookie is also a really interesting character, but I honestly think she might have made a good counterpart to Golden Cheese Cookie. With both characters having some interesting ties/feelings related to death and the afterlife. Where both characters seem to be trying to give cookies a peaceful afterlife. Golden Cheese by giving those cookies what they desire, and Mystic Flour by removing desire/feelings entirely, leaving only a false peace. 

Like I speculated earlier, that might even be intentional. A situation where Dark Cacao really can’t do anything against her directly, but one of his friends could directly counter it. 

In real life, flour is an ingredient that frequently causes illness. Most people in America think of the Egg as a disease causing ingredient, but flour is equally as dangerous. So I really like seeing that referenced. 

Pure Speculation time:

Eternal Sugar Cookie is really hard to pin down for what her roll or trial might be against Hollyberry. The term of Sloth, and the fact that sugar is extremely important to the fermentation process. That makes me wonder if it would be related to Hollyberry’s alcoholism, and the general attitudes of personal comfort/luxury over assisting/helping others. Or, as I theorized earlier, something related to cookies clinging to the past, instead of moving on.

I believe they’ve touched on that topic a few times, but I think it might be nice if it was explored more intently. 

Burning Spice Cookie is also a little hard to pin down. That said, it's really hard not to notice how similar his story is to Capsaicin Cookie’s fears. Making me wonder if Capsaicin was baked with the intention to serve this cookie. Or with a nickname like the Spice Overlord, to become them. That could make a good fanfic. 

Most likely though, the counterpoint is because Cheese is easily melted, and destruction is heavily tied to Golden Cheese’s fears. I also quite like the builder/destroyer vibes the two sort of have together. The pure virtue was ‘creation’, and Golden Cheese created an entire virtual world in order to tend to her people. Just, the idea that one would have to destroy something in order to create something else, is just one of those themes I kind of personally like. It makes me interested to see how things work. 

Silent Salt is extremely hard to pin down, especially because White Lily is kinda complex for a character. She already has an evil counterpart in Dark Enchantress.  White Lily did live in a place whose people were completely hidden, and her silence about her plans is what ultimately led to everything happening. Salt is also supposed to be extremely dangerous to plants, with phrases like ‘Salting the earth’ meaning to destroy an area so nothing could grow/people could not thrive there.

[ridiasfangirlings]

WE NEED MORE LACTATING SARUHIKO!!! Especially MiSaru scenario, I think it could be really funny. Would Misaki find this hot? Or would he be preoccupied?

I feel like that ask awakened something in people XD Imagine Yata finding this hot but also he is so embarrassed  by the fact that he finds it hot, he doesn’t even know what to do. Like he hears that Fushimi’s been hit by a Strain, he’s really worried but Fushimi tells him it’s no big deal. Yata asks what the Strain power was and Fushimi won’t tell him, just grumbling that it’s something stupid and Misaki doesn’t need to know. Yata wonders if they should cancel their date at his place that evening and Fushimi says it’s fine, he’s not injured so he can come. He sounds a little reluctant though and Yata wonders if the Strain power is really as benign as Fushimi’s trying to act like it is.

Later that evening Fushimi shows up at Yata’s place and he’s wearing an oversized hoodie instead of his uniform, Yata can’t quite place what’s weird but somehow he feels like Saruhiko’s chest looks…different than usual, even with the hoodie obscuring it. He doesn’t find out what’s going on until they’re on the couch together watching a movie and they start making out, suddenly Fushimi swears and pulls away from Yata, going towards the bathroom. Yata follows him, wanting to know what’s wrong, and imagine he walks in just as Fushimi is pulling off his soaked hoodie and Yata can see the milk running down Fushimi’s chest. Yata’s all wait what the hell, totally noticing that Fushimi’s chest looks more…full…than usual and his nipples are all swollen. Fushimi grudgingly admits the Strain power and Yata’s like ‘o…oh,’ not sure what to say about it. He offers Fushimi one of his own hoodies to use and suggests they go back to watching the movie.

As they sit together on the couch Yata is trying so hard to be cool and collected, like this isn’t weird, it’s fine, it’s just a Strain power. But then he keeps having fantasies of himself sucking on Fushimi’s boobs and imagine his face getting so red and he’s like constantly slamming himself in the face with a pillow to try and calm himself down. He’s incredibly embarrassed by the idea but also he keeps thinking of how Fushimi’s chest looked, all stained with white milk on that soft skin, and it’s all going straight to his crotch. At some point I imagine he can’t take it anymore, Fushimi wrongly assuming that Yata’s disgusted and deciding to leave and before Yata can stop himself he blurts out that no, he just wants to suck on Fushimi’s chest. Yata’s face is still totally red and Fushimi can’t resist teasing him, like suddenly this is less embarrassing for Fushimi precisely because it’s more embarrassing for Yata. The hoodie Fushimi borrowed is getting soaked through at the chest too and Fushimi pulls it off, wondering if Yata wants to help him clean off. Yata’s mouth is dry just looking at him and he finds himself pinning Fushimi to the couch, climbing on top of him and getting to find out for himself just how sensitive Fushimi is right now.

[ziracona]

There’s a lot of valid criticisms for games like DA and Fallout, but I am so sick to death, especially in fallout, of people talking about faction flaws and incompatibilities, like they’re bad game design. There’s this really fucking annoying thing people who play games do a lot, where they act like your companions are Pokémon. You don’t gotta catch them all!! The fact some of your companions hate each other, or have thoroughly incompatible goals and beliefs, is a feature not a bug! It’s not bad game design you are playing the game wrong!! You aren’t supposed to try and keep every faction alive and headcanon that you took them all over and made them good. You’re welcome to do that if you want, but the game not doing that isn’t bad game design. You are playing the game wrong!

There is no ‘golden end’ for New Vegas and that is a feature, not a bug! The point is that there is no idealistic perfect solution. Yes obviously House is better than Legion, and both Independent and NCR are better than House, in different ways, but neither is actually perfect for the region and that’s on purpose. There is no perfect war that fixes everything. That’s the point. It’s to interact with reality! With the complexity. There is no black and white good and bad easy answer. You do what you believe in. That’s /why/ faction companions exist. Or—you do what you want. You want to play an evil raider in FO4 and run with Porter? You do you! But Preston will hate you. This is a feature not a bug!! Goals are meant to be incompatible and choices to exclude other pathways!! That’s literally the point! Your factions aren’t pokemon your companions aren’t pokemon you do not catch them all, you commit to what you believe in, and people die or leave you or turn against you, and others stay! That’s how it fucking works. If you want to play a milk toast run where your goal is to keep as many groups alive regardless of how bad they are or will hurt a region, that’s your goal, but you’re playing the game contrary to the way it’s meant to be played, and your frustration is wrong not the game design!!! Faction companions exists so no matter what faction you believe in, you get a companion. They are not friends they are not meant to like each other you are not meant to keep them all. Commit to what you believe in and be willing to cut ties and make choices that have some actual fucking weight

Or don’t again you do you it’s not bad to play Pokémon but quit acting like it’s bad game design that that’s not the intent; it’s not — gamers who play too much are just obsessed with keeping every companion alive and on their side, and prioritize that weird goal over story and in-world impact it’s not a bug it’s a feature. It’s not a flaw the Brotherhood in fo4 sucks ass and won’t change; make a fucking choice. It’s not a flaw the Institute is evil and won’t change; make a fucking choice. The backup end is for if you fail every faction quest line, not the ‘right end’ you’re just bad at video game.

[wistfulcynic]

last december my friend Kayoko came to visit and now, six months later, husband prime and i have finally got round to trying the collection of Japanese Kit-Kats she brought us. Here are our findings. 

First, the subjects: 

the flavours aren’t clear on all of them, but with the aid of google translate we have, starting at the top left and going across

top row: strawberry, milk tea, coffee 

middle row: orange, standard kit kat, cheesecake 

bottom row: pistachio, whole wheat, matcha (green) and dark chocolate (”adult sweetness” is the translation of the label, lol) 

tastings below the cut

the first one we tried was milk tea. Japanese milk tea is black tea brewed in milk and sweetened with plenty of sugar. Slightly reminiscent of builder’s tea in the UK in that it’s strong and sweet, but milk tea is creamier. 

the milk tea kit kat was very sweet to start, but the tea flavour was definitely noticeable at the end and lent a richness and depth to the white chocolate (which i generally don’t care for). Very good. 9/10 would eat again. 

kit kat two was pistachio.

now, i love pistachio in all its forms so i was looking forward to this one. Sadly, the pistachio flavour was very mild, almost undetectable. Still very tasty but a slight disappointment. 6/10

next is strawberry

another white (or rather pink) chocolate version. This one was very aromatic with a strong strawberry punch. Definitely artificial strawberry but a light and fresh one, not at all cloying. Personally i love fruit flavours in candy and so i really enjoyed this. 8/10

cheesecake is next

not super strong in the cheese flavour, but light and pleasant. It would be good paired with the strawberry actually. 5/10

next, orange

if you’ve ever had a Terry’s Chocolate Orange the flavour of this kit kat will be familiar to you. They’re almost exactly the same. So, delicious. Nice to have a bit of light crunch with the Terry’s flavour actually. 7/10

next, coffee

we weren’t certain at first if this was coffee flavour or just “coffee break” and it was a pretty strong chocolate flavour to start but with a definite hint of coffee at the end. Very nice, and probably would be good with a cup of coffee. 7/10

next is what google translate concluded was whole wheat

this one was fantastic. Very light and crunchy but with texture to the crunch, not too sweet with a caramelly, biscuity flavour in the chocolate. i thought it was a bit like a white chocolate digestive might be, husband prime likened it to a custard cream. Either way, fab. 10/10 i am going to be craving this one. 

next, dark chocolate

or “adult sweetness” according to the translation app. Saucy 😏. Dark chocolate isn’t my favourite but this was very good. Had a nice bitter edge without being overwhelming and also very rich. Good stuff. 8/10

standard kit kat

it’s a classic for a reason, and the japanese version has richer chocolate than you get in either the UK or US, with a lot of depth of flavour. Hard to go wrong. 7/10

last and definitely least, matcha

look, i know matcha has its adherents but you’re all wrong and have terrible taste. i tried proper matcha prepared by trained experts when i lived in japan and it was good, if a bit grassy for me personally. Very good when paired with some of their traditional sweets (sweet bean paste my beloved) but when it comes to flavouring other things? Ugh. No. Gross. Why do you want your ice cream to taste like lawn clippings? 

this kit kat did not taste like lawn clippings. It tasted, in husband prime’s words, like fish food (DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS he made sure to add). Anyway, it was nasty. If you like matcha you might like it, idk, who can say what horrors your palate will tolerate. But for me it was only redeemed by the sweet crunch and the fact that the matcha flavour only came out at the end. 1/10.

the scores out of 10 obviously are based on my personal taste though i tried to be objective, hence the high rating of the dark chocolate. The following is my preference ranking, from first to worst

1. whole wheat

2. milk tea

3. strawberry

4. pistachio 

5. orange 

6. coffee

7. dark

8. standard 

9. cheesecake 

sir not appearing in this ranking, it knows what it did: matcha 

this was fun, and if anyone has a source for black market whole wheat kit kats... call me. 

[jorenilee]

i typed this out quickly and in one take because i was offended by your post about frye consistently losing splatfests. in your tags, your reasoning doesn’t make sense and frankly comes off as racist. i don’t agree that her team is typically the “fiery” or “awesome” team unless this was explicitly said somewhere and i missed it. i don’t get that impression. either way, referring to the entirety of japan as if they’re one collective without diversity of thought or individuals IS racist. you should think twice before making assumptions like that japanese people prefer “logic” and “maturity” over something that’s “cool.” also, blaming japanese people for all the bad things about the game + immediately turning to point fingers at japanese people when your team loses the splatfest is also racist. i am a japanese-american whose favorite character is frye and i want her to win as much as you do, but you need to stop putting racist takes out onto the internet as if they’re facts

yeah this is fair. when solo won, my tl was full of people immediately jumping onto accusations about white ink and rigging, + the year of people dragging shiver and saying frye's choices were "bad" and being venomously racist when japanese playerbases do sway votes, so I tried to find an actual pattern that wasn't just "japan rigging" and made baseless assumptions myself.

I do definitely think now I should've rephrased, especially making sure it wasn't flat statements, saying ALL japanese players thought that, or sound like I'm pointing fingers or was upset. Also really sorry I came across as blaming Japan. I thought the difference between the west/japan's popular votes (going off popularity polls and reported mirror matches) were interesting and it was my fault for assuming the reasons behind them. To emphasize so no one gets the wrong idea from my tags, japanese playerbases contribute hugely to splatfest results just for the simple reason of larger player numbers but it's stupid to label them as "responsible for bad things" or splatfest losts because they are just playing the damn game. No ones being malicious or whatever (+ nessie/aliens and the chocolate fest seem to be very evenly balanced global vote-wise).

Just for clarification (you definitely didn't miss anything), Frye's choices being on the more silly end was just another assumption I did. It's usually kids - who are famously not very skilled - that are into fire types, being with family, doing fist bumps (which was a western fest) or her teams are a bit more geared towards the west (to my knowledge, skeletons don't have quite the cultural significance ghosts do in japan but imo, ghosts are just way more famous Everywhere).

or had the VERY SUBJECTIVE "less mature" choices (strawberry vs vanilla, sweet vs spicy or sour, again fist bump vs handshake or hug, milk vs dark or white, (people said japanese players thought the white ink was cute so it was more popular which ??? that didn't sound true nor important enough to sway the results like that), grub vs gear (gear was literally the logical right choice btw) and fame was just. unfortunate all around)

and I just thought Shiver's personality is more "cold" and "logical" or very very mildly "edgy" (ie team power or money) > her team choices usually are > adults pick them more > win more, but it was my bad for naming japan as a whole instead.

That's also my bad for being too lazy to expand on it in the tags. Thanks for bringing this up 👍 I'll remove the tags so people don't get the same assumptions

[dragonfl0w3r]

Not So Dairy Challenge!

(Derivative of the not so berry challenge)

General rules:

• Skin color will not matter with the gen they can be whatever you choose

•each heir will represent a different form of dairy which will be below the rules

•money cheats can be used but not too much

•The heirs will match their form of dairy with style, color, makeup, etc.

•the spouses aren’t part of the challenge so they don’t matter

•heirs can’t interact with sims that have the lactose intolerance trait (can accidentally but must cut contact after finding out)

• keep the lifespan on normal

•each gen must have at least one heir to carry on the legacy

• finally, every heir must complete their career, aspiration, and special rules before moving onto the next heir unless stated otherwise

The dairies!

Gen 1: Milk

The start of it all, the beginning, the before. A farmer with great visions of the future, someone who wants to live on through their work

Style: whites, browns, and pinks.

Career: unemployed

Aspiration: country caretaker

Traits: animal enthusiast, ambitious, green fiend

Special rules:

•have at least 2 children

•become friends with an evil chicken

•collect all types of chicken

•sell milk, eggs, wool, and canned goods at the Finchwick fair

Gen 2: ice cream

The ice cream gen is the popular kid in school who succeeds in life and who everyone dreamed they were. They want to enlighten people and help them when they’re sad and be the light of someone’s life.

Style: pastel of any color

Career: entertainer

Aspiration: Friend of the world

Traits: Childish, Self absorbed , Outgoing

Special rules:

•be an A student in high school

•have at least 5 best friends

•successfully make someone who was sad a different moodlet that isn’t very sad

•marry the same person who’s moodlet you changed

•have 3-4 children

Gen 3: Cheese

The cheese gen was the nerdy kid who spewed facts about everything (and everyone if you gave them incentive)

Style: whites and oranges

Career: culinary

Aspiration: grilled cheese

Traits: foodie, unflirty, socially awkward

Special rules:

• use 10 pick up lines

•live with the next gen until they die of old age

• reach level 10 Cooking and gourmet cooking

Gen 4: yogurt

Yogurt is the type of person to keep 1 friend for their entire life and that’s good enough for them, they can easily switch their view on you if you wrong them. They have their noise pointed to the sky and looking down at you.

Style: white

Aspiration: Renaissance Sim

Career: fashion guru

Traits: hot-headed, snob, proper

Special rules:

• earn 100000 simoleons

•Owns a bar in their home

•have a retail business

Gen 5: Butter

A smooth talking gentleperson who has a way with their words and worm their way right into your heart

Style: yellow

Career: secret agent

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Traits: romantic, non-committal, clumsy

Special rules:

•have multiple fiancés (not at the same time)

•be in 2 relationships at the same time

•build a love relationship with someone else while on a date with a different sim

Gen 6: cream

Style: pastels

A sweet and careless soul, they truly care for others and love seeing people prosper

Career: Doctor

Aspiration: master chef

Traits: childish, good, cheerful

Special rules:

•save 1 sim

•get married

•reach level 10 of the baking skill

Gen 7: Whey

Style: browns

A real go getting sim who is in a serious relationship to the gym

Career: diver

Aspiration: body builder

Traits: active, adventurous, party animal

Special rules:

•get the gym rat trait from the rewards store

•reach level 10 fitness

•work out at a gym for a total of 24 hours (can be spaced out)

Gen 8: buttermilk

They are a combination of their 2 namesakes. A smooth talking farmer who inherited milk’s farm.

Style: yellows and whites

Aspiration: master mixologist

Traits: animal enthusiast, romantic, self assured.

Special rules:

•live on the same farm milk gen did

•reach level 10 of the baking and cooking skill

•get married twice

Gen 9: Cottage cheese

A wicked witch that lives in a hut and will probably eat your first born

Style: greens and whites

Career: unemployed

Aspiration: spellcraft & sorcery

Traits: loner, hates children, cat lover

Special rules:

•Finish the spellcaster skill tree

•have a phoenix familiar

•have a black cat

Gen 10: bread

The ending of a lactose intolerant person’s nightmare, a lazy person who’s main goal is to get through the day and sleep

Style: browns and whites

Career: astronaut

Aspiration: fabulously filthy

Traits: lazy, slob, paranoid

Special rules:

•only move around when you have to

•wear a pair of loafers with EVERY outfit

•order pizza 10 times

[disturbedbydesign]

Special Girl - Part 1

Summary: You arrived at Harvard as a shy, nerdy girl. You never thought a guy like Lloyd Hansen would notice you. But Lloyd saw you—really saw you—and for a time you became his special girl. Now, years later, you're stuck in a sexless marriage. Unloved and unfucked for months, you've decided enough is enough. The fact that Lloyd has been keeping tabs on you for years has nothing to do with it... or does it?

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Chapter WC: 5.6K

Warnings: DUBCON (alcohol use/manipulation); INCREDIBLY unsafe/unhealthy/deadass wrong BDSM practices (Lloyd doesn't do safewords or aftercare); plus-sized reader/fatphobia; cheating; degradation; bondage, spanking/whipping, gagging; knife kink; blood kink; CNC roleplay; gunplay; rough oral (m receiving); explicit sex (O,V,A); unprotected sex (Lloyd doesn't wear condoms, ok?); unwanted pregnancies/abortion; physical intimidation/abuse; general toxicity; Lloyd is a psycho and he's fucking mean—Dead Dove Do Not Eat! 18+ only, no minors.

Series Masterlist

Part One

Every day feels the same, and that sameness is going to kill you soon. It’s been killing you slowly for years, but today it ends—one way or another. Six months, you’d told yourself. Six more months and you’re done.

You wake up next to the man you call your husband but he feels like a stranger to you. He grumbles as he throws the covers off and rips open the curtains, shoving his boxers down and kicking them into the corner instead of placing them in the hamper like you’d asked him more times than you can count. He showers with the door open, and the sight of his naked body makes you angry. He hasn’t fucked you in 5 months and 29 days, and you almost tell him, “Today’s your last chance, Michael,” but you don’t. You won’t beg for it. Not anymore. He has to want you.

Your 6-year-old son whines and struggles as you try to get him ready for school. Harrison hates school and he hates you for making him go there. You cook their breakfast and pack their lunches while they eat. When they’re done, you pour Dunkin breakfast blend into a crimson travel mug with the Harvard seal emblazoned on it, add just the right amount of 2% milk to turn it from black to caramel, and hand it to your husband. He thanks you with a kiss on the forehead—never the lips—and then leaves for his bright shiny law office in McLean.

You were going to be a lawyer once. You and Michael met at Harvard Law, and you both had the same idealistic dreams back then—you wanted to do immigration law, he wanted to work for the Innocence Project—but then you got pregnant and the smell of money wafting off the white-shoe firms was too tempting for Michael to pass up. You told yourself you’d go back to work once Harrison was older, that you wanted to be a hands-on mom for the first few years of his life, but you knew even then it was a lie you told yourself and everyone else. Seven years at Harvard, all that money and time and hard work, and for what? Washing skidmarked underwear and making PB&J with the crusts cut off.

What a fucking waste. You can hear it in his voice—that gleeful sneering tone that makes your blood run hot. So disappointing, Porkchop. So ordinary. So boring. I thought you wanted more than this. I thought you were special.

But Michael likes you at home. He likes a clean house and a hot meal and a child raised by its mother. He likes that your brain has atrophied in this endless cycle of cook-clean-chauffeur-shop, that you’re no longer smarter than him, that you rely on him for money even though you should be making six figures right now, too. He likes the big, beautiful house in the D.C. suburbs, the senators and lobbyist neighbors, the private schools and the fancy cars. He likes to answer for you when people at dinner parties and cocktail hours ask you what you do for a living: “Oh, she doesn’t work.”

You still don’t know what you did to make him hate you so much. (Actually, you do know, but Michael doesn’t.) It’s not even hate, though—it’s worse, it’s indifference. In some ways it’s so much crueler. At least with hatred, there’s some passion behind it. If you hate someone, it means a part of you still cares, still wants to love them—that maybe a part of you still does. You of all people would know.

You don’t hate Michael; you hate yourself for choosing this life with him—this boring, ordinary life—when you could have had something more. Maybe not what you wanted, who you wanted, but being hurt by him would have felt better than the endless parade of nothing you feel now. Did you ever love Michael? You think you must have at some point but you can’t remember why. Was it because he showed you that love didn’t have to hurt, that you could be more than someone’s dirty little secret? It’s been so long since you felt that way, though. Maybe it’s just another lie you tell yourself. 

You drive your son to school and he makes a scene at drop-off, begging you to take him back home. When Harrison is angry, which he is more and more lately, his ocean blue eyes turn stormy. That’s when you see it most clearly—when you see him—and you know the answer to the question you’ve refused to entertain for the last seven years. It wouldn’t matter anyway; he’d made that very clear the first time. You were only ever meant to be a secret indulgence, a toy he could take out of its hiding place and play with and throw away when it bored him. Besides, you know who he is now—what he does. There’s no room for you in his life, and certainly no room for Harrison.

And you’d be fine with that. You would, but he just won’t leave you alone.

You return home and you clean clean clean until everything sparkles and shines. You turn over endless piles of laundry. You pick up dry cleaning and drop off more. You eat a salad. You go to the gym and work it off. As your muscles burn and the sweat drips down your back, you force yourself to remember what it felt like to carry all that weight. Your body is screaming at you to stop but you keep going. Another pound or two, you think, and maybe my husband will touch me.

But that’s not why you work out—not really. You do it because you like the pain. You miss it. You haven’t felt that good pain in years but your body remembers it, remembers him.

Even when Michael was interested in fucking you, it was never what you wanted. There was no passion to it, nothing primal and animal that told you that he absolutely had to have you. Michael’s go-to move was poking you in the leg and saying, “Wanna do it?” and then engaging in bare-minimum foreplay before 15 minutes of missionary with the lights off. You could set a clock by it, but you told yourself it was ok because it was what you deserved. It was the punishment for your crimes, and living with it was your form of atonement. At least he made you cum sometimes.

But not like he did. Never like he did.

You shower at the gym and leave to pick up Harrison. It’s a Wednesday and he has Pee Wee football practice after school so you’re greeted with a smile instead of a scowl. Besides for pizza and superheroes, football is the only thing that makes your son truly happy, but for you it’s just hours and hours of practices and games and more laundry to do and the disapproving stares of the other mothers when Harrison breaks the no tackling rule. He’s big for his age already—tall and broad, built tough—and the rules of flag football mean nothing to him. One more hit, the coach had told you last week, and he’s out.

You sit at the far end of the bleachers, away from the other mothers and their death stares. They’ve all complained to the coach and you don’t blame them—if it was your son getting hurt instead of doing the hurting, you would feel the same way. You say a quick prayer to whatever god is listening that Harrison plays by the rules today and then you check your email on your phone. You’ve got a few Amazon shipping updates, a check-up reminder from Harrison’s dentist, and a message from the alumni association reminding you that the Harvard-Yale game is next weekend. You delete that one as aggressively as possible, and when you return to your inbox, there’s a new message.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think the sender was spam—just a nonsensical jumble of letters and numbers—but you’ve seen ones just like it many times before. The subject line is blank, and when you open it, there’s just two words: “Hey, Porkchop.” You look up and across the field and you see him standing in the parking lot, leaning against your car with his arms crossed. Your heart starts pounding when you make eye contact and it jumps into your throat when he gives you a cheeky little wave. 

You know he’s been watching you. His emails and texts over the years always made it clear that he’s keeping tabs. You never respond but they’ve been more frequent lately. Then six months ago he sent you a picture—-taken through the blinds in your bedroom—-of you and Michael having sex with a one-word message: “Boring.” Ever since you’ve felt his presence. Everywhere you go, you feel his eyes on you. He’s been telling you things he couldn’t possibly know if he wasn’t watching. He’s even started talking about Harrison—”Good looking kid,” he’d said in an email with a picture of Harrison at his first football practice attached. “Looking strong out there.”

You never thought he’d actually show up. You just assumed he’d been taunting you and teasing you and leading you on like he always did. But here he is in the flesh, wearing a black turtleneck and tight white pants and sporting a Tom Selleck mustache that should not be attractive but very much is. You grab your purse and hurry around the field to the lot, and as you approach him, he’s focused on the field, on Harrison.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Lloyd?” you whisper-shout at him when you’re close enough.

“Aww, come on, Porkchop.” He looks you up and down and flashes you that smug smile that haunts your dreams. “Is that any way to greet an old friend?”

“You shouldn’t be here,” you say. “I mean it.”

Lloyd takes you by the elbow and grips your arm hard, dragging you around to the back of your car with a few long strides. No one on the field can see you now, which should frighten you knowing what you know about the man in front of you. But you’re not afraid of him—-at least not like that. Lloyd likes to hurt you in other ways. 

“I can be wherever the fuck I want to be,” he snaps. “Besides, I thought you’d be happier to see me. You seem like you could use a little attention.” Lloyd removes his hand from your arm and runs it down your flank, grabbing at your hip and giving it a squeeze. “I gotta say, Porkchop, I liked you better with a little meat on your bones.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.” You move to swat his hand away but he catches your wrist and you can’t help but look up into his piercing blue eyes—your son’s eyes. “Let go of me,” you whisper, but you don’t mean it. 

He chuckles and drops your wrist, running his hand across his chin. “Alright,” he says, “I’ll play nice.” He leans down close enough that you can feel the icy mint of his breath against your lips. “For now.”

“What do you want, Lloyd?”

“Today’s the day, right? D-Day? Last chance for ol’ Mikey to lay some pipe or you’re through?”

Your mouth drops open but only a tiny squeak comes out. How the fuck does he know that? The only person you told was your therapist.

“Oh, Porkchop. I know you’ve gone stupid on me since you had the kid, but when are you going to get it through your pretty little head that I know everything. I see everything. There isn’t a thing you can do or say or even think that I can’t find out about if I want to.”

“And why do you want to?” The words fly out before you can stop them. “Why the fuck do you even care, Lloyd? Why are you doing this to me?”

He cocks his head to the side and gives you a half smile that makes his dimple pop, and you see that little twinkle in his eyes that comes out to play when he’s feeling especially cruel.

“You know why.”

Lloyd grabs you by the throat and shoves you against the back of your SUV, kissing you so hard and deep that your legs threaten to give out. His thick mustache tickles your nostrils and it’s a new sensation. He was clean-shaven back at Harvard: one of the football team’s rules (and pretty much the only one Lloyd didn’t break). You moan into his mouth—-you can’t help it—-and the only thing holding you up is the hand around your neck and the weight of his broad, heavy body pressed against yours. You can feel him smirking against your lips after your moan slips out, and by the time he pulls away, you’ve soaked through your panties. You haven’t been kissed like that since your wedding day—the last time you saw him, when you did the thing you try so hard not to think about but always come back to when you’re alone in the tub with just enough time to rub one out in between supper and bathtime. The thing that changed everything and nothing at all.

“Here,” he says. “Take this.” He hands you a slip of paper with an address on it—some bougie D.C. neighborhood near Embassy Row. “I’ll be there Friday night and Saturday but Sunday morning I’m gone. No telling when I’ll be back. Do me a favor and make the right choice for once.” He grabs your face in his large hands and leans down to whisper, low and gravely, against your forehead. “Don’t disappoint me again.”

Before you have a chance to answer, a huge black Suburban with tinted windows pulls up and Lloyd hops in the passenger seat.

“See you soon, Porkchop,” he says, half hanging out the open window. “Tell the kid Daddy says hi.”

***

“Oh come on,” your roommate Shay begged. “It’ll be fun. I promise.”

You had zero desire to go to the Phoenix club party but it was Harvard-Yale weekend and the Crimson had absolutely slaughtered the Bulldogs that afternoon. Shay was dying to go and she’d been trying to drag you out for weeks.

“I won’t even get in,” you told her. “I’m just a freshman and I… I just won’t. It’ll be embarrassing.”

You didn’t tell her the real reason you didn’t want to go, which was that you packed on the freshman 15 and then some and you didn’t want to be the fat girl left out in the cold while your much thinner, much hotter roommate got into the party.

“Babe, they let all the girls in, and that goes double for freshmen.”

“And that’s supposed to make me want to go?” you replied. You knew the reputation that the finals club parties had on campus, and you knew it wasn’t the safest place for a drunk 18-year-old girl to be, especially on the night of The Game. “Those guys are so sketchy.”

“Yeah, but they have the best booze,” she said. “And we’ll watch out for each other. Come on, please?”

You sighed and rolled your eyes, but part of you couldn’t help but be curious about the legendary party scene at the clubs. And on Game Day? After a win? It was bound to be wild.

“Alright,” you agreed. “Just this once. But I’m not getting wasted. I’m considering this more of a sociological experiment.”

“Whatever gets you out the door, nerd,” she replied. “Now let’s find you something to wear that isn’t that ratty old hoodie and jeans.”

You were freezing cold and terribly uncomfortable in the dress and heels your roommate chose for you. The dress was stretchy enough to fit you but you didn’t consider it flattering. You told her as much but she assured you you looked great. 

“Your tits look incredible in that dress,” she insisted. “Seriously, I can’t look away.”

You took the compliment but you still felt exposed. You never wore tight clothes, preferring to hide your chub under layers of fabric or loose-fitting dresses. You’d always been a bigger girl but your first few months of college, even without being a heavy drinker, saw you tipping the scale much higher than ever before. The skin-tight green dress you were wearing was making you feel vulnerable and you could tell the discomfort was written all over your face. 

“It’ll be fine,” Shay promised you as you walked to the Phoenix.

You could hear the crowd two blocks away, so loud that the whooping and cheering and chanting of “Fuck Yale” could probably be heard all the way in New Haven, and when you rounded the corner onto Mt. Auburn, you saw the epic line.

“Holy shit,” you muttered, though the sound of the crowd drowned it out. 

The line to get in was around the block and then some, and it was almost all scantily clad girls, many of them freshmen you vaguely recognized. You saw the hot blonde from your psych class with a group of her equally hot friends at the front of the line being waved in by a guy at the door, and you saw him laugh in the faces of the two guys after them and send them on their way. 

“There’s no way we’re getting in. Let’s just go somewhere else,” you told Shay, but you were really more concerned that she would get in and you wouldn’t.

“We’re getting in,” she said, “and we’re not waiting on this fucking line either.”

Before you could argue, Shay was dragging you toward a girl about 10 people back in line.

“Hey, cousin!” Shay yelled, and she shoved her way into the line next to her cousin Maddie.

Maddie was a sophomore and had been hooking up with one of the Phoenix guys. You felt awful cutting the line, and the girls behind you were quite vocal about how pissed they were about it, but Maddie silenced them with a simple, “Hush, freshmen,” and before you knew it, you were standing at the door in front of the guy who held all the power. 

“Hey Mads,” he said. “See you brought some fresh meat.”

“This is my cousin and her roommate,” Maddie said. “Be nice”

The guy looked Shay up and down, clearly approving of her, but when he took a look at you, he started laughing. You almost ran away crying right then but you forced yourself to make eye contact and smile.

“Oh, Lloyd’s gonna love this one,” he said. “Entrez, mademoiselles. Down the rabbit hole you go.”

On your way down the stairs, you asked Maddie, “What was that supposed to mean? Who’s Lloyd?”

She just laughed. “Lloyd Hansen? The football player?”

“I’m not much of a sports fan,” you replied.

“Well he’s basically a god on the team, and he’s only a junior. But I’d stay away from him if I were you. He’s… well, I’ve heard some stories and none of them are good.”

You really did mean to heed her advice, you did, but two hours and several vodka cranberries later and you were drunker than you’d ever been in your life. You didn’t feel sick, just completely out of control, but you liked the feeling. You were always so buttoned up and guarded and it felt so fucking good to just let go for once. Shay stuck by your side as promised and the two of you danced and drank and danced and drank more.

You don’t know exactly when it happened—-you were out of it then and time has only muddled the memory further—-but at some point, you found yourself alone in the courtyard out back. You looked around for Shay but she was nowhere to be found. There was a group of guys nearby, and through the din and the ringing in your ears you could hear them laughing while one of them made oinking and squealing noises. You knew without knowing that they were laughing at you, and as you shoved your way through the crowd and back inside you heard one of them shout “Get ‘er done!”

It came on you suddenly—-that feeling that your bladder might burst. You needed to find a bathroom and quickly. You asked the person closest to you and she pointed in the direction of a huge line of girls.

“Fuck,” you shouted to no one, and then you felt a tap on your shoulder.

When you turned around, you were eye-level with the incredibly broad chest of one of the guys you’d seen outside.

“Hey, Sunshine,” he said, and you looked up into the prettiest blue eyes you’d ever seen, framed by long lashes that most women would kill for. “You lost?”

“I… uh… my friend is…” you stammered, having trouble finding words with this beautiful guy towering over you. “I… is there another bathroom here?”

“Upstairs,” he said. “Members only, but I’ll make an exception for you.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the stairs. “Come with me.”

The ground floor of the Phoenix looked like some sort of Gilded Age mansion, probably because that’s exactly what it was. Every inch of the place reeked of old money. You followed the handsome, brown-haired stranger up to the second-floor hallway and he opened a door into a large, well-appointed bedroom.

“Master bathroom’s right through there,” he said. “It’s the nicest one in the house.” He cocked his head to look at you. “You’re not gonna puke, are you?”

“No,” you said. “I won’t. I promise.”

“Good girl.”

It felt like ages before your bladder was finally empty. You used some expensive French lavender soap to wash your hands and dried them on a plush hand towel with the Phoenix insignia embroidered on it. When you exited the bathroom, the brunette was sitting on the four-poster bed sipping a honey-brown liquid from a crystal tumbler. His dress shirt was unbuttoned to his chest, his crimson tie hanging loose, and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbow revealing thick, veiny forearms dusted with hair. You found yourself speechless and staring; he was gorgeous, tall and broad with a chiseled face and an athlete’s build. You had no idea what he was doing with you. 

“You want a drink, sweetheart?”

“I, uh, I shouldn’t,” you said. “I need to go find my friend.”

“Just one drink,” he said. “Come on. This whiskey is older than my dad. I promise you’ve never tasted anything like it.”

“I don’t really drink whiskey,” you replied, but he was already up, taking three long strides toward the bar cart in the corner.

The glass clinked three times as he dropped in ice cubes from a silver bucket, and you watched as he poured you three fingers of the liquid gold. You didn’t want it but you took it anyway. You didn’t even know him but some part of you—something deep-down and driven by primal instinct—didn’t want to disappoint him. The first sip burned like hell and you coughed after you swallowed.

“Easy, easy,” he said, rubbing your back with one of his large hands. He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.  “Come sit for a minute. Talk to me. I’m so fucking bored.”

You sat down next to him—close but not close enough to touch—and he watched as you pulled your skirt down where it was riding up. 

“So, uh, what’s your name?” you asked, braving another sip of the whiskey, which you had to admit was growing on you just as the heat in your belly was growing as you drank it.

“Uh, Lloyd Hansen?” he replied, sounding a bit miffed at the question. “You may have heard of me? I was the guy on the field today who knocked the Yale QB on his ass about a dozen times?”

You vaguely remembered hearing the name Lloyd Hansen but you didn’t remember where you’d heard it. You thought to yourself that it must have been someone talking about the game.

“Congratulations on the win,” you said. “I don’t really follow football but, you know, fuck Yale.”

That was the first time you heard Lloyd laugh, and he did it with his whole chest.

“Fuck Yale indeed,” he said. “And now that you know who I am, I want to know who you are and how you ended up at my party. I’ve never seen you around before. I would remember you.”

You told him your name, that you were a freshman and that you didn’t really go out much. You knew you sounded like a complete loser, but the alcohol was like a truth serum and you ended up telling him that you were more into studying than partying.

“So you really are a good girl, then?” he said, his hand inching closer to your thigh. The deep pitch of his voice was almost as intoxicating as the drink in your hand. “How refreshing.”

He placed his drink on the nightstand and moved closer to you.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked, and you nodded. “All the girls that come around here, they’re so fucking boring. So ordinary. Just a bunch of dumb bitches with rich and powerful parents who are only at Harvard to fuck around for four years and find a husband.” He ran his pointer finger down your thigh and toyed with the hem of your dress and you shivered as he leaned in close and spoke low in your ear. “But not you. You’re something special. I knew it the second I saw you.”

“I… I’m nobody,” you said. “I’m not special.”

His lips brushed the side of your neck and your eyes fluttered closed. “Yes,” he purred. “You are.”

Your memory gets hazy then. You remember Lloyd on top of you, kissing you and groping your tits through your dress. You don’t remember him taking it off you, or his clothes coming off, but you remember the feeling of your knees hitting the plush Persian rug as he pushed you down on the floor in front of him. He sat on the edge of the bed, long legs spread wide on either side of you as his fisted his cock in one hand and grabbed the back of your head with the other.

“You know how to suck a dick?” he asked, and you shook your head no.

You’d only ever given handjobs before and you’d never seen a dick as big or as thick as Lloyd’s. You were terrified. You didn’t know what you were doing and you didn’t really want to do it but, again, you couldn’t shake the feeling of not wanting to disappoint him. You didn’t want to be boring or ordinary. You wanted to be the girl he thought you were. You wanted to be special. 

“Open your mouth,” he demanded. “Stick your tongue all the way out.”

You did as he asked and he slapped your tongue with the head of his cock a few times before he told you to lick it. When you did, you tasted something salty—not exactly a bad taste, but strange.

“That’s it. That’s a good girl,” he said, gripping your head tighter. “Now wrap your lips around it. Yeah. Just like that. Fuck, I knew those dick-sucking lips of yours would feel good. Now open up your throat and breathe through your nose. I’m gonna fuck that pretty face of yours.”

He put his other hand on the back of your head and started to move you deeper onto his cock, and when he hit the back of your throat, you gagged and tried to pull away.

“Ah ah ah,” he said, “you can take it. Come on. Just relax.”

To this day, you don’t know how you didn’t throw up on him. He stood up and held your head in place as he fucked his way past your gag reflex and down into your throat over and over again, with fast harsh thrusts that had your mascara running rivers down your face and your own spit dripping down your chin onto your bare chest.

“That’s my good little cocksucker,” he said. “So fucking good for me. Look so pretty when you cry.”

Your nails dug into the hard muscle of his thighs as you let him use you, not knowing how long it was going to take or what exactly was supposed to happen. All you knew, looking up at him as he fucked your windpipe raw, was that he was the hottest guy you’d ever seen. The way his jaw clenched as he grunted, the deep V-cut that framed your face as he pushed and pulled you, the veins popping in his neck and his arms—-it was all too much. He was too much. The ache between your legs was getting unbearable and you took one of your hands off his leg and started to rub your clit.

“Oh, you love choking on my dick, huh? My pretty little slut’s gonna make herself cum with my fat cock down her throat, isn’t she?”

You moaned onto his flesh—his filthy, cruel words only making you want to please him more. You wanted to cum so badly but your own fingers just couldn’t get you there. You didn’t have enough time anyway, though, because Lloyd’s grip on your head tightened to the point of pain.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he said, pulling out of your burning throat and leaving you coughing and gasping for air. “Look up at me. I’m gonna paint that pretty face white. Open your fuckin mouth.”

You tried to keep eye contact with him but it was hard while you were still trying to catch your breath and keep from coughing.

“Look. At. Me,” he barked.

You stared into his lust-blown blue eyes as his mouth dropped open, his lips forming a perfect pink O as he huffed out air. Then you heard him grunt and you felt the first spurt hot against your cheek. The second one barely missed your eye but you kept them open, and he smirked down at you as he pressed the tip of his cock to your tongue and shot straight into the back of your throat. You gagged on it and swallowed and he laughed at you before gathering the cum off your face with his fingers and shoving them in your mouth.

“Clean your plate like a good little girl,” he said. “Come on. Suck.”

And you did, because the way he looked at you when you started to lick the cum off his fingers—there was something reverent about it, with more than a hint of amusement.

“I knew you’d be good,” he said when you’d licked him clean. “Fat chicks really do give the best head.”

You felt your cheeks blaze with embarrassment and shame and you would have started to cry if he hadn’t already fucked all the tears out of your face. You started to gather your clothes but he grabbed you by the arm and yanked you up off the floor. 

“Aww, don’t worry, Porkchop,” he said, pulling you against his bare chest. You looked up at him, horrified, but he wore a smug, satisfied smile as he ran his hands down your body, grabbing handfuls of flesh at your sides and your hips and finally taking two handfuls of ass. “Just means there’s more of you to love.”

“Get off me,” you cried, and you tried to push him back but he held you tight.

“Quit fucking struggling,” he snapped, his grip on you tightening to a bruising pressure. “You think I’m being mean? If you want mean, little girl, I can show you mean. But I’m dead serious. The guys make fun of me for it but I fucking love me a fat girl. Of course, I can’t actually be seen with one. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I fucking hate you, you asshole,” you screamed. “Let me go.”

“No,” he said, his mouth a hard line. “I’m not done with you, and you’re not done with me, but there are rules to this.”

“Fuck you and your rules. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

He grabbed your neck and pressed lightly on the sides, bringing his face down to yours—so close his lips grazed yours when he said, “You don’t really mean that, do you, Porkchop? It would be such a disappointment if you did.”

You opened your mouth to speak—-to scream or to cry you don’t know—-but he silenced you with a deep kiss. You hated yourself for returning it, for opening up for him and letting his cruel tongue inside. But fuck he felt good—-his lips and his hands and his rock-hard body. You never dreamed a guy like Lloyd would ever look twice at you. Even through your drunken haze, you knew you were being used—-that you were easy pickings for him that night and he took advantage of you—-but you didn’t care. He felt too fucking good for you to care. 

He made you cum on his fingers and his tongue three times that night before he kicked you out.

“Sorry, Porkchop. No girls in the house past sunrise. I’ll be seeing you real soon, though.”

You wanted to tell him he wouldn’t, that you’d just used him the way he used you. but you knew even then it was a lie. Any self-respect you had went out the window the moment you met Lloyd Hansen.

PART TWO >>>

[dreamcatcherrs]

what catches their eyes/attracts them?; mcyt x reader

+ this is in no way factual information, only my very weird and specific opinions :)

dream:

free-spirited people

someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind

confidence, to a certain extent

someone he can be loud with

someone who will wake up in the middle of the night with him to go on a car drive to nowhere

the colour blue (dnf👀)

clean and fresh-looking clothes

satin fabric

big height difference

the smell of citrus fruits

large smiles

silver jewellery

small hands

smart people who aren't afraid to show it

george:

calm, laid back people

someone quiet, but still able to have a laugh

very friendly vibes - even when first meeting them

the colour blue (literally the only interesting colour he's able to see lol)

bright eyes

lip gloss

flower print

slightly shy people who are actually easy to interact with once you start a conversation with them

pastel-coloured nails, not too long

pink-tinted lips

ponytails

the smell of vanilla

puppy eyes

sapnap:

energetic people

someone who can hype up their friends no matter the situation

the colour red

like, a bloody red

soft skin

full lips

loose shirts over skin-tight tops

when shoelaces have a different colour on each shoe

corsets

a very subtle scent of perfume

thigh highs

someone who just wants to enjoy life with the people they're surrounded by

badboyhalo:

large, bright smiles that spread up to your eyes

freckles

button noses

rose-gold jewellery

french manicures

bangs

slightly shy people

genuinely sweet people

not the fake type that talks shit about people behind their backs and then will compliment them a few seconds after

someone who when they enter a room feels like a breath of fresh air to everyone else

someone completely selfless

the smell of lavender

shiny hair

technoblade:

people who aren't afraid to take the lead

glasses

intellectual people

like, for example people who know a lot of random stuff from a bunch of different things that they're interested in

or also just book smart people

slightly clumsy people (finds it cute)

gold jewellery

someone with some mystery to them

refreshing scents, like clean laundry or shampoo

cat eyes (eyeliner)

wilbur soot:

long legs

chokers

shy people

someone who gets flustered easily

glasses + thin bangs

the colours brown and beige together

baggy, comfy clothes

the smell of newly baked cookies

beanies

the kind of person that makes him feel like he can always talk to them - someone he can feel safe with

birth marks

accents

jschlatt:

smart people

the way they speak is just so clean without even noticing

fox eyes

people who aren't afraid to wear sweatpants in public

generally just someone who isn't afraid to do, say and wear whatever they want

someone who stands for what they think and have the balls to say it when needed

nose rings

simple yet flattering pieces of jewellery

long nails

someone who he can stay up all night with and never get tired of them

high heels

hip dips

corpse husband:

fishnets, of course

someone who give 0 fucks about what everyone else thinks of them

unique people

wether that be physical features or straight up the personality, it draws him in

chokers

chunky, black sneakers or boots

someone who can make him happy without even trying

a positive aura for the most part

as in he doesn't want to be surrounded by someone who’s negative or dragging everyone else down with them

the colour yellow

rings - lots of them

karl jacobs:

a walking ray of sunshine, basically

tbh, karl has a couple of things in common with what corpse is attracted to;

positive energy, uniqueness and rings

a palette filled with bright colours

like, almost rave style colours

that could be clothes, makeup, hair, nails, accessories

chunky, white shoes

selfless people

someone who as each day goes by becomes more charming to him

he likes the smell of candles from bath and body works, as we all know

the colour purple

skeppy:

big eyes

someone who’s able to make him laugh without even trying

tooth gaps

someone who has very playful, innocent vibes to them

and someone who can take jokes and pranks

people who walk confidently

the smell of strawberries

long eyelashes

someone who collects things others usually wouldn’t

someone who is very respectful to others

a mix between really comfy clothes and really feminine clothes

fundy:

someone who comes across as “different” than others

and don't you dare think of ✨I’m not like other girls✨ (I know you did -_-)

he just thinks people who think and act very different than others are very interesting

beauty marks

nicely shaped eyebrows

someone who finds mystical things interesting

fox eyeliner (yes, I put this in here because: furry)

someone who has unusual, yet surprisingly good taste in music

people who are constantly warm

red lips

the colour light brown, almost beige-like

quackity:

someone who gets his humour

someone like him, but more quiet and slightly shy

especially when on screen in front of an audience

sliver necklaces

the smell of flowers

dark, extreme eyeliner

loose clothes

freckles

piercings

someone who teases others and who can handle to be teased by others

the colour dark blue

punz:

the colour grey

a fresh fashion sense

yet still very comfortable fits

messy buns

someone who he just knows will be a cool person before he even talks to them

someone who just has that kinda vibe, y’know?

glossy lips

independent people

someone responsible and caring to others

tattoos

navel piercings

awesamdude:

cropped jackets

the colour neon green

hair put up in a bun

someone with a free nature

someone who is a complete wild card

like, someone who will jump over a fence just to get closer to a bunny they think they saw on the other side of it

loose strands of hair

clear nail polish

cargo pants

the smell of chocolate

slimecicle:

people who have comfort items

someone who knows random facts that no one else usually knows

people who have a unique way of thinking

passionate people

and when they talk about what they’re passionate about, they talk for hours

shorter hair

sweet and nutty scents

natural beauty

fluffy hair

honest people

but not brutally honest

the smell of coconut

eret:

eye glitter/shimmer

silky clothes that shine in the moonlight

platform boots/heels

long, flowy dresses

someone who does whatever they want

and who doesn't like being told what to do by others

the colours pink and dark purple

the smell of the ocean

someone who already knows how to live their life

stretch marks

foolish:

low-cut jeans

someone very silly who knows how to have a good laugh

someone very supportive of their friends

curtain bangs

long-sleeved sweatshirts

someone who loves food

puppy eyes

straight, white teeth

someone who is willing to help others in need

someone who doesn't talk badly about others behind their back

someone who knows what they want

jack manifold:

confidence

white, wide-legged pants

the colour light blue or just pure white

people who are very easy-going and fun to be around

someone who can fit into and understand anyones humour

an open-minded person who likes to hear from other people’s point of views when they have a different opinion than them

butterfly patterns

crop tops

oversized t-shirts

hair beads

tommy:

people who are just as loud as him

and at the same time knows when to be serious

the colours yellow and grey

people who are kind to everyone

creative eyeliner

fluffy hair

people who can get so lost in their own world, they almost forget about their surroundings

colourful accessories

someone who isn't afraid to be who they are

someone who has many passions and loves to talk about them

oversized hoodies

tubbo:

hoodies layered over skirts or dresses

frilly socks

people who are very adventurous, and wants to make their life as interesting as possible!

someone who can help him overcome some of his fears

charm bracelets

cute habits

the colours yellow and orange

dimples

the smell of almond milk and honey

people who twirl their hair unknowingly when bored or unfocused

ranboo:

someone who looks intimidating at first (he thinks people like that are cool as fuck)

but then is, like, the sweetest person he’s ever met

loves someone who can speak fluent sarcasm, just like him

he likes sass

glassy skin

fingerless gloves

people who act cocky for the fun of it

but actually don’t care about winning or losing or proving anything

simplistic earring placements

people who have hidden talents, and the more you get to know them, the more talents are revealed

people who don't gossip

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