#the fact that post only has 5 notes makes this even funnier to me like you couldve just scrolled down :

[dlsintegration]

good morning 🥰🥰🥰

[thesnazzysharky]

Waffling about/reviewing the notes in SJSM because I think they're cool. 1/2

Okay. So at first I just wanted to review the randomly generated notes that you can find in the story and endless modes. Mainly because those notes are more character focused while the notes that are already set to a specific room are more about adding lore and world building. But fuck it. I can make this work.

I'll be splitting this into two parts. Part 1 will be about the scripted notes and Part 2 will be about the randomly generated notes. They both will be reviewed and scored somewhat similarly. Mostly reviewing them based on how they add to the game or world building, potential creep or comedy factor, or how entertaining they are to read. Part 2 will just be more focused on how overall character is represented through the writing. Anyways, here we go. Starting with Part 1. Part 2 will be posted later.

Gel's Note

Spouting, Splashing, Soaking. Innards, Ingest, Invoking. Nailing, Never, Stops the Choking

This is the first scripted note that you encounter and I say it leaves a good impression! By this point in the game, you probably read through some of the notes from Romantic Victim before reading this one. So first time players will most likely expect this to be another note from them, only to be confused and weirded out by this cryptic note written in red letters (perhaps blood in this case). This makes Gel's sudden appearance behind the player so memorable and out of left field. Not only does the note catch you off guard by making you think this is just another note from Romantic Victim, but Gel himself catches the played off guard by appearing behind the player right after they're done reading the note. The cutesy and fun vibe to the mansion has now been completely stripped away and you get a memorable scene with that. As for the note itself, there's some interesting things about it. Firstly, it's implied to be written by Gel himself, which is pretty cool since he's one of the very few specimens that does this. There's also each first letter in the sentences spelling out the word SIN. But more importantly, it adds a bit to Gel as a character by making him come across as sympathetic.

It implies he was human at some point, but then something fucked up happened to him. Thrashing about in the strange substance, trying to ingest it so it could stop clogging his throat, invoking for help, and digging his nails in his throat. Yet, it was all futile, as he became a monster and is now forever choking. Never being able to breath normally or live a normal life.

Definitely a fucked up note to read once you understand it and your imagination goes wild.

Simple but sweet! 5/5

Generic Lab Assistant's Notes

Subject 5 is growing more and more restless. I told Spook we need more funds for sedatives, but she just laughed and flew into the ceiling. Without more chemicals to keep these things docile, I'm not sure how much longer we can keep them here safely. - Generic Lab Assistant

It's the goat. The myth. The absolute fucking legend that is Generic Lab Assistant. Lets all give a round of applause for the most character of all time. That magnificent bastard aside though, I like these notes. They give some good world building and intrigue by introducing GL Labs and how Spooky apparently runs it. This isn't just some haunted mansion. It's a place where murder monsters are tested on innocent people for reasons currently unknown to the player.

There's also that enjoyable Kira humor here with Spooky laughing and fucking off somewhere else when asked for help and the fact that the person writing the note is literally called Generic Lab Assistant (which became even funnier to me once I learned what the GL in GL Labs stands for).

Also...

I believe subject 5 is loose. The glass around its container is shattered, and I can faintly hear clicking coming from the ceiling. I don't know what will happen now. If it is out and alive then this is probably my last report. The clicking is getting louder now. - Generic Lab Assistant

This note is a good one. It highly raises the stakes as the player most likely knows what will happen once they put the note down. It also establishes that this will be the gameplay loop throughout our journey. Go through some rooms, go into a special area, read some background info that builds up to the specimen that will soon chase you, get chased by said specimen. It's great. RIP in peace to our homie Generic Lab Assisant. He was a true one. 5/5

Matsuri's Classmates Notes

Matsuri never came to class today, I hope she made it home ok.

Could it really be true? I thought the fairy tales about the ghost that eats children who sneak in after class was just to keep us from disobeying. But Matsuri is still missing.

These two notes are very brief, but they do their job well. Specimen 4 is more cryptic in terms of what the hell her whole deal is, so it makes sense that the notes about her aren't about what her origins are, but rather about how she's this boogeyman that adults tell children about so they aren't late for class. Except in this case, the boogeyman is clearly real. To me, Specimen 4 is the first truly creepy and disturbing enemy you encounter in the game. Specimen 2 will give you a scare, but he's easy to become desensitized to due to his slow speed, his kinda generic design, and the fact there's not much background info on him to make the player truly fear him (there is his note, but you most likely won't understand what it even means on your first playthrough). Specimen 3 will also freak you out a bit, especially if you have a fear of bugs and insects, but that's the thing, they're just some giant bug that's hungry. Of course you'll be scared of them because most people wouldn't be fond of being chased by a giant spiderpede, but there's not much else to them other than that. Specimen 4 changes everything by introducing a familiar, but unsettling environment that nobody would want to be in, having notes that are written from the perspective of individuals that are just as clueless as you are when it comes to what this "thing" is other than that it eats children and has presumably already taken a victim, and being a disturbing creature overall due to Matsuri's classmates expressing concern over the disappearance of their friend which makes you take the situation more seriously and feel sympathy for Matsuri. Really doesn't help that simply reading the line "ghost that eats children" tells you that she did not go out in a peaceful and pretty way and neither will you. 5/5

Cult Member's Notes

The darkness is slowly consuming us now. I don't think our rituals will appease it much longer. How were we supposed to know this would happen?

These notes cryptically talk how the "darkness" is slowly consuming these past cult members and how "mother" is pissed at them for sacrificing a girl who wasn't a virgin.

What I like about these notes is how cryptic they are. Not in a sense that not much information is given to you like Specimen 4 for example, but rather how some things are left up to interpretation. What is the darkness? Who is mother? Most people tend to assume that Bab is the "darkness" or "mother" that these cult members were worshipping. So when she got pissed at them for sacrificing an impure girl, she killed them. Technically speaking we don't actually know if this is the case though. Bab could be the demon they were worshipping, but she could have also been a byproduct of the impure girl being sacrificed, either being what she became after that sacrifice (like I assumed at first) or maybe it's just one of the many creatures that the darkness spawned to kill the cult members.

We don't even fully know if the darkness or mother are connected in someway either. Everything surrounding Bab seems intentionally up in the air. Whether that be with who she even is or what's going on with her environment like with the womb room. It's all very neat and feels fitting for a Silent Hill reference. 5/5

Ben's Notes

One day, a strange merchant came to town. He sold handmade puppets and trinkets and all the children loved his store and his gifts. But the town couldn't support his store because the other shops were failing. The other shopkeepers became jealous. So one night some of the townspeople took all his puppets and threw them in the river.

The notes that you find in Ben's area are really cool in that they are written entirely in third person. Being written out as an old story or legend (that's especially reinforced with the tribal sounding music in the background) rather than someone's firsthand account.

A narrative that tells us exactly what happened to Ben; who now that I think about it, probably has the most straightforward and easy to understand background out of all the specimens in the base game. That doesn't make him or these notes not interesting though. Far from it.

The story makes it very easy to sympathize with Ben here, as there really was no real reason for him to suffer the fate that he did. The guy wanted to make cool stuff for children and yet he died because he wanted to save his puppets after they were thrown into a river by some jealous assholes. He was just some chill dude. Well, until you get to this part at least.

Years later the children of the town began to go missing. And as more and more children disappeared, people began to find more and more puppets in the forest and around the river. These puppets seemed almost to look like the missing children sometimes.

Now the once normal merchant has become a soon to be threat to you. It's very well done and it's fun to see some let's player have those similar reactions of "damn, that's mean" to "damn, they were chill with him drowning?" to "they were satisfied!?". All culminating to that last and unsettling note that gives them a reason to fear the creature they will soon face. 5/5

The Hunter's Notes

For a while I thought I had really escaped this place. But despite the 'trees' and flora, I think this is actually just another room. I did, however find deer, so I might at least get to eat. They make some strange sounds though…

For the first time, these sets of notes are written by someone who was just another victim that wanted to explore the mansion; someone referred to as the hunter. Also, for the first time, I'm kinda "eh..." about these notes.

The hunter explains that despite appearance, this outdoors area is just another specimen room. They also talk about how the deer make some strange noises and aren't as they seem; later getting attacked by one and managing to board them up. Hoping they can find another way out and uh...

I think they might have caught a very minor case of being dead while trying to do that. That might just be me though.

Now when it comes to these notes, I do like how the first one subtly warns the player that the deer are a bit weird but doesn't exactly tell them what they will do. Which makes the deer sprinting at you with their sharp teeth and lifeless eyes a good jumpscare (especially in OG Spooky's. Jesus those things are nightmare fuel). I also like how you can find the hunter's bones in one of the cabins (although I wish they had a unique skeleton model of their own). But aside from that? These don't do much for me.

I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but does anyone else think that the buildup to Specimen 8 could've been done better? Obviously Deer Lord is an awesome specimen with a wonderful chase theme and a visually awesome ability where he goes through walls; but his area and the buildup to him feels too tame.

The forest, violent deer, and axe are cool, but the notes don't really say anything about him or anything else of note. Then you get to this big room with a creepy record player and some runes on the walls (which I never realized were there until now) which seems cool, but nothing is really done with it.

I feel like more should have been done with Deer Lord's area and there should've been more notes that build up to him better... or mention him at all. Maybe instead of the hunter dying in a cabin, they could have broken out due to desperation for food and water. Leading them to getting attacked by the deer and to the area with the runes on the walls; this can be where they encounter Deer Lord. Maybe have the last note mention them hearing a demonic voice or something before it ends there. Just kinda disappointing. 2/5

Notes by another Generic Lab Assistant

This old place is somehow even worse than the new GL Labs. Although it seems to have been constructed with a much larger budget than the new lab, nothing works quite right. I can see why it was abandoned so quickly. I wonder if there really is anything here worth salvaging.

Some notes by yet another Generic Lab Assistant... but they're all blue, transparent, and futuristic now!

That cool detail aside, here's a few things of note. These notes establish that there isn't just one GL Labs and that this is an older one despite the more futuristic theme to it. Possibly implying that there are multiple GL Labs that we have yet to see.

One of the notes also mention how the equipment here seems specifically designed for people without hands. My first thought was Spooky since she doesn't have "real" hands in a technical sense, but it could also be referring to the old Specimen 10. Considering it was a passive pet to the employees.

We also get more of Spooky being the most shitty and negligent boss ever. Literally sent a bunch of her employees to a place that had a clearly dangerous monster inside of it. Classic Spook lol.

So there's some nice world building stuff here! Though of course, we also have that eerie factor to these notes that are enjoyable as well.

Reading about there being weird noises in the air ducts and the machinery and power being faulty really makes you feel unsafe being there. Especially considering that not one single soundtrack or ambience plays while your in Specimen 10's area. It's just completely silent. Which makes things so much more uncomfortable and eerie.

Then you read this line.

I don't know what to do. I can't think well, I feel strange. I'm hiding from that thing. I feel like something is growing on my skin. I can't seem to tear it off fast enough, and I'm losing a lot of blood…

Again, like some of the specimens before, you read something that raises the stakes and establishes the threat.

But to spice things up a bit, for the first time, you are actually given a hint on how to deal with the specimen and boy is it a chilling one. The blood on the floor and the note flickering on and off is unnerving. And the fact that it's telling you that you have to stay close to it, in a game where you have always tried to run away as fast as possible, does a good job at confusing and stressing out the player right before they turn the generator on.

Not much else to say other than it's all very good buildup to a very good specimen. 5/5

Fast Food Worker's Notes

1. I was anxious getting a job here at first, but it seems like things are getting better. This chain is really expanding, which is a shock, because just last week I heard this company was going broke. Everyday more and more people show up to eat here. Something still sets me off about this place and its food though, so I'm going to try and not eat anything from here.

Specimen 11's area has the most lengthy notes we have seen yet and it's because of these notes that the Beef Demon is one of my favorite specimens! From the notes that we have seen previously, they usually follow this: some person that's stuck in a shitty situation or is about to be in an even worse situation soon enough. With the exception of the notes found in Ben's area since they're told as a story or legend.

These notes are interesting in that they are more gradual and take their time to get to the horror. It starts off as just someone new to the job noting how the restaurant chain is suddenly booming in business despite the company being on the brink of bankruptcy a week ago. Aside from that and the worker mentioning that they'll try not to eat any food there, nothing seems too suspicious so far.

The next note then informs us that something strange is going on with the customers. The orders are rising in numbers, but not the people. One customer is noted to use the drive through a total of three times. Ordering a bunch of food every 10 minutes. It becomes more odd when we move onto the next note and it tells us that lunch breaks aren't allowed there and neither is outside food. Apparently a customer who tried to do that got screamed at.

It's clear there's something wrong with the food. So it becomes all the more concerning when the writer states that they ate one of the burgers there and had a strange dream soon after.

4. This is strange… I had a dream last night about this restaurant. I know I was here, but I also felt like I was in another place at the same time. Everything looked so.. wrong. Nothing was the right size, and I kept hearing these strange animal noises, almost like wailing. I guess I just feel guilty for eating that burger the other day. Also today I saw that man again. The one who kept ordering every 10 minutes. This time he never even left the parking lot. He just got his meal, parked, and then got back in line. He must have done it at least 8 times before he left.

So these "burgers" make people overly obsessive with them, cause strange dreams, and make them shove other people's heads on a grill... wait... what the fuck?

5. There was a horrible 'accident' today. At least that's what the managers are calling it… One of the other employees brought in some outside food, and got into a fight with a manager about it. The employee said that the burgers here smell like sulfur. I then watched the manager grab the kid's neck and shove his head onto the grill. The employee got up and ran out before anyone could do anything, and I'm told that he is fine, but that really shook me today.

Well shit. That was unexpected and fucked up. So it's also making the managers unreasonably aggressive as well. We still don't know what exactly is in that "beef" however.

6. I'm leaving. I fell asleep in my car today, after eating one of those burgers. I remembered brief flashes of a man or animal coming towards me and feeling like some huge, lumbering thing was wailing from deep underground as I continued eating. When I woke up I was fine, but had veered off the road. I don't know if it's some weird allergic reaction to a preservative they use or something much worse, but this is my last day.

Unfortunately we don't get an answer to that question. The last note just tells that the writer saw "a man or animal" in a dream and that they heard wailing noises again like in their last dream. Except this time it was apparently from deep underground. And it just... ends there. The worker states that this is their last day working there, but we don't know what happened to them after that. Maybe they made it out. Maybe they didn't. I really like these ones as they're subtle. They don't tell you too much, but they don't tell you too little either. Something paranormal is going on with the "beef" but the notes don't tell us exactly why. It isn't until the literal demon shows up is when you're able to connect the dots. The burgers making people act unnatural or aggressive, the hallucinations and dreams, and the company suddenly booming when it was about to go bankrupt. Classic demon worshipping in a horror game. Except it's pretty cool and well executed here. Very wonderful and eerie notes. Especially with the man ordering every 10 minutes. Unsettling to read about a human... not acting human. 5/5

Marine Biologist's Notes

Research Report 1 More whales are being shipped to the facility tomorrow, one for a health inspection and two that are already dead for autopsies. More and more beached whales keep appearing around those islands and I still can't find what is causing it.

Let's skip the notes in Specimen 12 and save them for part 2 for now. You'll see why later (although you probably already know tbf). Anyways these notes introduce a interesting mystery. What's going on with the whales? Apparently they're beaching at an abnormal rate and there are bite marks being found inside their stomachs. At first it's all chalked up to it being a parasite, but then you come across this...

Research Report 5 The research facility is now in dire need of more engineers. We have a whole block that is flooded, and some vital staff are missing.

And this...

Excerpt 4132 And then I watched carelessly as the sea rose above the sky casting waving shadows over the world. I saw the silhouettes of creatures both familiar and forgotten. And suddenly I found myself falling upwards towards an ocean of darkness.

And this...

Research Report 6 I hear a girl. Or an animal. Or something… Singing to me, pleading that I come outside my locked room and let the sweeping waves comfort me.

And you start to realize there's more to it than that... Similar to the notes from the fast food worker, these neither tell you too much or too little. It's subtle in its horror and the creature it's talking about and it works very well like last time. Don't know what else to say without repeating myself. It's just good buildup to the Siren and it makes her an intriguing threat. I will say this though. This particular note is perfectly ominous and goes hard as hell.

Research Report 7 All the staff is gone. Only I remain. For no purpose, I remain here, resisting the call from behind the sealed door. But I will remain… As long as I can. Don't open that door.

5/5

Howard's Note

This was such a surprise. That there would be another entry. Another actual entry. One I could admire. But then as suddenly as it came, it left. And now you disband. Your influence and inspiration will never leave me.

A confusing read on your first playthrough. A funny (or possibly depressing) read once you realize it's Kira being upsetti spaghetti about PT not being turned into a full game. Neat reference but that's all it has going for it. 3/5

Dr. Hamada, Tochigi, Kanagawa, and Nurse Tanaka's Notes

Dr. Hamada Oncologist The patient has displayed increased depression after being informed of their terminal disease. I prescribed an antidepressant to regulate this but was later told that I had cancelled the prescription. I have no memory of cancelling the meds nor can I find any evidence that my orders were tampered with.

Karamari Hospital has a much more serious, darker, and mysterious atmosphere to it and these notes reflect that.

The mystery is set and pulls the player in when they read about Dr. Hamada cancelling the prescription for an antidepressant, despite them having no memory of doing so. This mystery is kept basically throughout the entirety of the notes and overall DLC until the very end. So throughout most of the DLC, you keep on guessing on what happened here with the doctors while not getting a whole lot of answers.

It's very well executed though and these notes have a handful of disturbing content within them as you find and read them. From a patient screaming and being terrified after being given hallucinogenics, to a whole entire liver sitting on Tochigi's desk, to Kanagawa describing how they woke to a patient they unknowingly murdered as he bled out on the floor, to Tanaka twisting the body of a cat and later dosing their head with radiation.

Despite never really showing it, Spooky's was always a gory and brutal game when you really thought about how each of the specimen's would kill you, but this shit is just next level.

It all ends perfectly once you finish the last note covered in blood from Tanaka and face the thing responsible for possessing all these people and forcing them to do these sadistic acts. Ghost Cow. Really well written stuff. 5/5

The Many Notes Inside the Dollhouse.

Congratulations GL Labs associate! You have been volunteered for our proud parent program. You have been given a doll, and your duty is to train the soul entrapped within. To confine it to the doll you must keep it in good 'Spirits' and give it attention. Many of the beta candidates were children when they died and will likely attach themselves to you without problems, but there may be times when punishment or extraction of spirit energy is necessary. The energy can feel quite replenishing, but please refrain from abuse as it negatively affects the ghost. In the event of husk rejection or injury, GL labs is not responsible under any circumstance.

With the Dollhouse DLC wrapping up the story of SJSM, it only makes sense that it has the most notes by far. These notes are incredibly interesting as their purpose isn't to foreshadow or hype up some major creature, but rather give us deeper insight into what GL Labs truly is and what they have done in the past.

Now, we already knew just how shady and cruel GL Labs was previously, I mean, I guess that goes for any company that resides in a mansion made specifically for murder. But we never saw it so upfront before. Nor did we see how negligent and indifferent they are. Summoning the spirits of children, stripping them of their afterlife, and forcing them into at first simple containers and later dolls. The most depressing case of this being Woormy Charles. Despite him wanting a bigger vessel, they kept forcing him into a small one, summoning him over and over again instead of just letting him go; then locking him in a containment room to rub salt in the wound.

We also get to see how incompetent and downright stupid the workers for GL Labs were. Trying to summon a spirit to entertain the dolls (instead of just... entertaining them by themselves or hiring someone to do it?), only to get some creepy ass clown voiced by Tomar. Performing rituals and inflicting pressure on the dolls, dehumanizing them in the process, and then acting surprised when the brilliant idea goes south, leading to one of the workers gouging their eyes out to be safe from the Hooked Doll... which I doubt ended well for them. One worker even mentions they're happy to be transferred to the GL Labs closer to the surface since they were fearing for their life everyday while they were in the Dollhouse. So clearly the whole facility was in need of being shut down not just because of the inhumane doll projects and rituals but also because the workers weren't even fully safe there. That really tells you how desperate a certain someone was though, doesn't it?

Spooky's Father Notes

I'm so sorry my little angel. I've tried hating the man that took you from us, but in the end the only person I can hate is myself. You always liked to scare people, especially when they didn't understand something. I was confounded no one understood your costume but I guess people don't read Poe anymore, even with the new Price film. That man clearly overreacted to your fireworks, but we can only blame a PTSD sufferer so much.

Well, talk about how the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The notes written by Spooky's father and everything going on with GL Labs truly shows how broken and tragic he is.

We knew how Spooky died to a soldier suffering from PTSD in the base game thanks to the easter egg arcade, but the Karamari DLC expanded on that by showing us how one of Spooky's parents felt about the matter. Which makes it all the more heart-wrenching.

If you get the bad ending in Karamari, we also get some interesting info about how Spooky's father was trying to bring Spooky back, which seemed to have worked, though judging by how sadistic and apathetic Spooky is, something must have went wrong.

I hate myself for what I am doing, but I can't wait any longer. Your mother puts on a brave face but I know she wants this too. I'm making fair progress in bringing you back, but it seems to only work for a moment even with larger thresholds. Today I think I found the answer. A second device is needed to bind the spirit to the earth after it has been brought back. I know this sounds macabre but I will turn it off and let you return to heaven after your mother and I get to see you again.

Dollhouse expands on him by telling us that he was indeed the main one behind GL Labs and that he approved of the doll project.

A doll is a timeless thing. In the shape of a human but created perfect. Immortal and unmoving. Yet hollow, devoid of soul. A fitting symbol and possibly usable device for our goals here. Soon I will have you back, my dear. But first I must make sure it won't constrict you.

Now with everything I said about GL Labs and how unethical they were, you would think that it would be a good reflection on Spooky's father himself. An apathetic and generally awful person. Well, it's more complex than that. He was behind a lot of the awful stuff going on in GL Labs, but none of it was out of any malice or evil. He really just wanted his daughter back through any means necessary. He hated himself for what he was doing and knew that his wife, shortly before her death, disapproved of bringing Spooky back. By that point though, he felt like he had gone too far to suddenly stop now.

So much desperation and will to go to extreme lengths, just because, as we later find out in a pretty damn good plot twist, he was the PTSD sufferer who killed Spooky and he wanted to be forgiven by his own daughter. Which really makes the line "I've tried hating the man that took you from us, but in the end the only person I can hate is myself." hit harder.

I always wanted to tell you. How that night really ended. But I couldn't. Because you were gone. I need your forgiveness. That's why I wanted you back at any cost. But in the end I robbed you of both life and unlife. Please go on, and be with Monica. I'm sorry.

He framed a homeless guy for a murder he accidentally caused, founded a company that performed unethical experiments, and in the end after his death, his daughter would go on to kill thousands. He really was the main cause behind everything that happened. Yet, you can't really hate the guy, not fully at least. He never was evil nor did he want to be. Even in his desperate madness, he still had a good chunk of his humanity within him. The doll project was unethical, but he still tried to encourage treating the spirits inside the dolls with care, with the scientists taking care of the dolls being referred to as a "proud parent" or presumably approving the party room to entertain them (even if it didn't work out). He could have went against his wife's wishes and tried to bring her back, yet he allowed her to rest, despite missing her everyday, showing how loving and devoted he is. And judging from his dialogue when interacting with his corpse, he realized how fucked up everything he has done was, but by that point it was too late, considering Spooky never moved on to be with Monica.

Always loved morally gray characters and Spooky's father is a great and tragic one. The Dollhouse notes and Spooky's father will both be getting a six, not five, six out of five. Absolutely goated. 6/5

Not Done Just Yet

Well, this part is done at least. Part 2 will be coming out... whenever I finish it lol. But it shouldn't take too long; and once it's finished, I'll state my closing thoughts about all the notes I reviewed. But for now, I'll see you whenever part 2 comes out! Have a snazzy day.

[the-timelord-a-tardis-stole]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I love the fact Sam agrees to leave the Shire like "oh yeah, I'll go with Frodo. And I'd love to see some elves". Then it's literally day 3 of travelling still in the Shire when he gets to meet them. Because it means from here on out, Sam's motivation is 100% love and loyalty

37 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

#4

I had 2 thoughts about Tom Bombadil when we were reading about him:

One of the possible in-universe explanations for Tom Bombadil is that he is God. While this is good idea with all Tom Bombadil's singing and Illuvatar's connection with music, it is way funnier is Tom Bombadil is a different being. Like imagine creating an empty world out of The Void, and you look in and theres just Some Guy Vibing

All his nonsense singing reminds me a bit of that episode of Stellar Firma where Trexel is making up riddles but they end up steadily turing into funny little nonsense rhymes.

40 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#3

There's a couple of moments that we've read so far that will form interesting parallels later on (spoilers for the first time readers):

The hobbits feeling awkward carrying swords for the first time vs. when they return to Bree and Barliman is like "yeah, of course no one hassled you on the way here, you're all fully decked out in armour with swords" to which the hobbits are like "oh wow we forgot that was actually weird"

Strider and Merry meeting for the first time after Merry encountered a Black Rider vs. when Merry is one of the people Aragorn has to heal with his Kingly Healing Hands(TM)

Sam standing up to Strider when he first meets him vs. Sam's similar but even more defensive behaviour when they first speak to Faramir. I really love this one bc Sam is absolutely willing to challenge some Man who is almost twice his height and is skilled with a sword.

Also, this is less of a parallel and more of a common thread throughout the story but I love the frequency with which the hobbits have been meeting unexpected friends after leaving Bag End. There's a quote from Elrond when the fellowship is being formed about meeting "friends unlooked for" or something (I don't remember the exact phrase) and I love that this theme was set down immediately after the hobbits left

42 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#2

I find it very interesting that when the hobbits were like "tell us one of the Old Tales" and Aragorn chooses a comforting one in the form of the Tale of Beren and Luthien. In isolation, it's a good choice. There's hope amid hardship and people achieving impossible tasks with the power of love. It's very comforting if you're about to be attacked by evil creatures.

However, with the context of Aragorn and Arwen, you have to ask how many times has that been Aragorn's comfort to himself? How many cold nights in the wilderness has Aragorn spent imagining Beren doing the same thing? Does the successful taking of a Silmaril turn Aragorn's task of becoming King of Gondor and Arnor from "Impossible" to only "Very Difficult"? Or does it turn it into a sort of destiny that can and will be fulfilled? That he won't be stuck roaming the world alone for all his long life?

76 notes - Posted October 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

That kid really committed to the munchikin bit

96 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[drwcn]

follow up to [post] exploring the crack au if lwj was a girl 

〒▽〒 ps im not trying to erase canon lwj representation, not at all, wangxian is mm in all my other fics, this is just stupid fun

in a ceteris paribus situation aka all other things staying equal: 

1) Lan Wangji 100% still has a resting bitch face, which probably would get her a couple of “Lan-er-guniang 美若天仙 (beautiful as an immortal/goddess) but would benefit from smiling more” comments but nobody is that desperate to die yet so, she’s spared. But damn... imagine the sheer number of thirsty boys who’d try to secure a marriage with LWJ. None of them is good enough for Wangji as far as Lan Xichen is concerned. Okay - maybe in Lan Xichen’s opinion, Nie Mingjue is good enough, but he couldn’t be less interested. I see her as I see Huaisang, Xichen please. 

2) Everything interaction between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian in Wei Wuxian’s first life is now 500% more scandalous. 

Exhibit A) Their first meeting at the gates; Jiang Cheng immediately felt his spidey senses tingling.  —“You’d sooner have immortals flying out of your ass than get with someone like her. The second jade of Gusu? The pearl in old man Lan’s eyes? C’mon.”  —“Shut up, A-Cheng.” —“Uh-huh.”  —“Also, she’s not that pretty. Her brother Zewu-jun is much better. There’s a reason he’s ranked first.” WWX is still a disaster bi.  — “LMAO, you? Zewu-jun? Please.” 

Exhibit B) Just because LWJ is a girl does not mean WWX grew more brain cells. 

WWX, straight up to Lan Qiren’s face, “Lan-meimei and I - we’re zhiji.” (he means it like we’re kindred spirits, peas of a pod, etc)  LWJ: *does not deny* Lan Xichen: ⚆_⚆ Lan Qiren: ಠ╭╮ಠ

Exhibit C) Lan Wangji getting drunk the first time. Wei Wuxian knew he crossed a line the minute he invited Lan-er-guniang for a drink. Really, WWX, even for you, this is inappropriate. When Lan Wangji fell face first onto the table, Wei Wuxian knew, he fucked up. “Hey....hey...Lan....Lan...-er-guniang,” He poked her. “Don’t...don’t sleep here! You can’t sleep here! If your Uncle finds out or if Jiang-shushu finds out...they’ll skin me alive and then...and then they’ll make me marry you! I don’t want to marry you; you don’t talk and I’m too young!” 

WWX, being a dipshit, “Hey Lan Zhan, call me Wei-gege.”  LWJ, drunk as fuck, “Wei..gege.”  WWX *((( heart )))* ??? 

Exhibit D) The Cold Pond. Okay, so I don’t think Zewu-jun would sabotage his sister’s virtue by sending a stupid teenage boy her way while she’s bathing, but doesn’t mean Su She is above all that. Wei “I didn’t see anything I swear!” Wuxian. Lan “I will gouge out your eyes.” Wangji. Somehow they still end up in the cave. Maybe WWX got in the water after LWJ got out and got sucked into the vortex and LWJ heard the commotion, turned around, saw WWX had disappeared. “Wei Ying?!” A panicked LWJ jumps back into the pond, “Stop fooling around, come out!” 

Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing 👀👀 when LWJ and WWX fall out of the cave together. Also the fact that Lan-er-guniang and Wei-gongzi went missing, together, for two days. Who knows what could’ve happened. I mean anything really. I mean... that’s gotta stir the pot a little were it not for the Yin Iron stealing everyone’s attention away from this bit of juicy scandal. 

Oh the whole story... so much to work with, so little time. 

3) Because Lan Wangji is a girl, now suddenly there’s a high ranking member of the Lan Clan who can host the girls at Cloud Recesses. I mean, Mianmian, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, Lan Wangji - SISTERLY FRIENDSHIP. Other than Mianmian, none of the girls are really talkers which suits Lan Wangji perfectly. Even Mianmian’s chatter is endearing.

4) Lan Wangji is absolutely still a powerhouse during the Sunshot Campaign. The inherent aesthetics of fem!lwj telling the Wen goons to “kneel” - no one will deprive me of this.  Also she will still cut off your arm if you cross her - Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao ya better watch out still. 

I am TORN between two options: Lan Wangji tol and kickass or Lan Wangji smol and kickass. On one hand, the aesthetics of willowy elf-like LWJ, on the other hand, 5′2′’ of whoop ass who can and will throw an unconscious wwx over her shoulder firewoman-style and toll him to safety.  

And amongst other things: 

A) Lan Wangji still becomes Chief Cultivator, because excuse me who else is left to clean up this mess? Jiang “Short-fuse” Wanyin? Nie “I won’t do what I’m not intended to do” Huaisang? Jin “13 year-old” Ling? Or Sect Leader Yao?  Technically, being a woman means that she was never Lan Xichen’s heir, but at the end of it, it’s not like Gusu Lan is left with a lot of choices.  Just the poetic justice of Gusu Lan pleading for Lan Wangji to come back when she fully intends to 隐居山野 (retreat into the mountains) with the resurrected WWX.

Lan Wangji being Chief Cultivator would echo Lan Yi’s tenure and rectify the fact that Gusu Lan’s only female head of family “failed”. Lan Yi had to face a mountain of prejudice because she was woman; someone has to say “up yours” to that. A woman as not only the sect master of Gusu Lan but the Chief Cultivator? Love that for Gusu Lans. (⌐■_■) ☞ ☞

B) Because of ~ sexism ~ I wonder if Lan Wangji would get titled “Hanguang” at all even after the Sunshot Campaign. Even Lan Yi, the SL Lan of her time didn’t have a title. Chances are LWJ won’t either. (Note: Violet Spider is not a title, it’s a moniker). So — say after the way Lan Wangji is still just “Lan-er-guniang”, and she does not obtain the title “Han Guang” until after she leaves Cloud Recesses and become rogue. (srsly how did they come up with these titles in canon, did gusu lan just look at 21 year old lwj and be like yah he’s lord light bearer *cue trevor noah stand up joke* why do you call yourself “great” britain? isn’t that a bit presumptuous? shouldn’t you go around doing good things and then let other people come to the conclusion: oh britain look how great you are? same logic with lwj.) 

Lan Wangji, a Jade of Gusu or a nameless rogue, still goes where trouble is, helping those who need it. After laying low for a year or two to heal, Lan Wangji began night hunting. Donned neck to ankle in white silk and tulle, and a weimao (wide brimmed veil hat) obscuring her face, she became known to the people as Hanguang Sanren, the lightbearing wanderer. Gusu’s highest power probably has some idea who she is - or at least they can guess - but the vast majority of people don’t. 

C) Lan Sizhui raised by rogue Lan Wangji as his mum would be different. Still cultured, respectful, but definitely with an air of keeping others at arm’s length. 

For instance, grown-up Sizhui running interference and saving a cohort of gentry disciples on joint hunts.

Jingyi: 这人谁呀？Who is this guy? Zizhen: 多谢兄台搭救之恩，小可看您眼生，敢问兄台尊姓大名，何门何派，改日当登门拜访. Many thanks for saving us. I don’t believe we’ve met, pray tell what is your name and sect, so we may visit at a later time to thank you for tonight. Sizhui: 在下无门无姓 ，单名思追 。举手之劳不足挂齿 ，怎敢劳烦各位名门子弟答谢。My name is Sizhui, belonging to no family and to no sect. As for tonight - I only did what anyone would; it bears no mentioning and requires no thanks. Jin Ling: 你这人，看你工力不凡，想和你交个朋友，可你怎么遮遮掩掩的。Hey you, we see you’re a talented cultivator and want to make your acquaintance. Why are you so dodge-y? Zizhen：金陵 — Jing Ling - Sizhui: 若是有缘，还会相见。告辞。If it’s fated, we will meet again. Farewell.  

Later:  Jingyi: 思。追。 思追谁？Si. Zhui. To recollect and long for whom?  Sizhui: 母亲的一位故人. Someone from Mother’s past.  Jingyi: 你父亲？...Your father?  Sizhui: 我不知。I don’t know. 

I thought about how cute it would be if sizhui and jin ling knew each other but guys...Jiang Cheng literally thinks he killed Sizhui’s biological father. Like he literally thinks he orphaned Sizhui before Sizhui is even born. And Lan Wangji would never accept anything from Jiang Wanyin, not that it would stop Jiang Wanyin from trying. 

A package of books here, a new robe for Sizhui there. Lan Wangji doesn’t know how Jiang Cheng keeps finding her. She and Sizhui are nomadic.  

D) The inevitable conversation after wwx is revived. 

You know what would be funnier than Jiang Cheng thinking Sizhui is a wangxian baby is if Lan Qiren thinks Sizhui is a wangxian baby. 

[mimzy-writing-online]

Hello. I had a question regarding your post about blind characters. I have a character in my WIP that must cover their eyes.. but it’s blind. He may need to tell people he is blind to explain why he covers his eyes though. I was wondering how I might write this character without offending. Thank you :)

I think I want to start by explaining the “covering blind eyes” trope and why it has become a harmful trope. I think understanding why it’s hurtful helps everyone learn how to handle it better.

I would guess that the “blind people wear sunglasses” trope comes from Hollywood for the specific reason of 1. wanting to signal to the audience that the character is obviously blind and 2. avoid breaking the suspension of disbelief by preventing the audience from catching the sighted actor look at visual stimuli (because disabled characters are almost always played by able actors).

But this changed the way the public expects to experience blindness. If watching a sighted actor wear sunglasses and say he’s blind is all the exposure to the blind community a person has had, that’s the only model of blindness they’ll recognize. If they meet a blind person in real life who doesn’t wear sunglasses, it’s going to break this built perception and cause an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. 

And then there is the common “cloudy-white blank gaze” that pops up in media. It stems from the fact that cataracts is the most common cause of blindness and the appearance of severe cataracts is a cloudy film in the eyes obscuring the iris and pupil. It can also alter what color a person’s eyes appears to be, making them appear paler and grey in the beginning and then as the cataract advances it becomes more yellow/brown and alters a person’s vision to appear more yellow tinted.

There are lots of other eye conditions that makes the eyes look visibly different. Albinism for instance affects the color and structure of the iris. Eyes might be congenitally misshapen. The muscles might be weak or not work and one or both eyes point significantly outward. Someone who was born blind and experienced no visual stimuli might also have weak muscles around their eyes because they never had a reason to focus their eyes on anything.

And unfortunately humans have the habit of feeling uncomfortable when they meet someone who looks very obviously different from the norm, whether that’s a personal style choice (hair color and style, tattoos, clothing choices) or something they can’t help (a visible disability, skin color, scars). 

To the paragraph above, @gothhabiba replied with:  “it's very weird & ahistorical to claim that racism or ableism are some kind of natural "human" trait.. like frankly it's apologia”

You’re right, I wasn’t thinking beyond that generalization or assumption.

Perhaps a better way to put it is: I was raised in a society where I was taught from childhood to think that there was only one kind of human being to be. White, cis, straight, abled, conservative. That’s a very western thing and that’s a thing I’m going to constantly be unlearning.

Racism and ableism and homophobia aren’t innate, that’s a western thing that was forced onto the rest of the world by colonialism. And because western media created this idea that the world is white, abled, cis, straight, and Christian-value leaning, it taught people to think that was the norm so that seeing someone different from that archetype would cause a cognitive dissonance, which causes discomfort.

And instead of working past that cognitive dissonance to learn more and realize there’s so much more to life than media taught you, society encourages you to ignore that cognitive dissonance by sticking your head in the sand-- or TV screen.

So combine these two tropes or common beliefs together and you get something a little dangerous: the idea that blind people cover their eyes because they look obviously different and they’re ashamed (or should be ashamed) of that.

And if you’re someone who’s just gone blind or who was born blind and you have little to no contact with the blind community, then this societal belief that you should be ashamed of how your eyes look becomes detrimental to your self-esteem and further builds internalized ableism.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve read or watched a blind character cover their eyes with sunglasses because they were ashamed of how their eyes looked. And I distinctly remember a few times where a sighted friend of the character was trying to convince them to stop wearing sunglasses because there’s nothing wrong with looking different--which is true, but it plays into this fantasy of being the perfect abled ally who saves the blind character from being miserable. 

In an ideal world, the character has no reason to believe looking different is a bad thing or diminishes their worth or makes people dislike them. And if they develop this belief, it’s more likely that someone more involved in the disabled community, most likely someone disabled themselves, will set them straight. Or that the character will learn to accept themselves on their own, looks included.

But there are some perfectly valid reasons for any blind person to wear sunglasses. They might have an interest in fashion and sunglasses complete the look they’re going for. They could want to protect their eyes from UV rays while they’re outside. They may experience light sensitivity and sunglasses reduces any discomfort or pain. Those are incredibly common reasons to wear sunglasses whether you’re sighted or blind.

But there are some more complicated situations.

In your words, your character must cover his eyes. You never specified why, so my primary guess is that he has some kind of power that is unpleasant or has devastating affects and the only way to prevent it is to keep his eyes covered. My primary guess stems from this post where an anon and I discussed a retelling of Medusa, a hypothetical blinding of oneself to avoid ever killing anyone ever again, and what I think I would do if I was in that scenario.

So how do you write a blind character who must cover their eyes and avoid some of the complications?

1. Your character must always have the ability to say “fuck off, it’s my business, I don’t have to tell you why I’m blind or why I cover my eyes.”

Most blind people really, really don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty of why they’re blind and how they feel about it and what it’s like being blind with a stranger they’ll never see again or a new acquaintance they don’t know well yet. You have exceptions to that rule where sure, educating the public about blindness is a thing you want to do and you’re committed to helping your community, but I still have days where I don’t want to talk about being blind or disclose my medical crap.

And if someone doesn’t respect their right to their privacy or pushes too much, the blind character is allowed to be angry, is allowed to tell them off and complain without anyone else in the situation vilifying them or saying they’re “overreacting” and “should have just disclosed private information because big deal or whatever.” If they are angry, that’s their right, and it’s not unreasonable, it doesn’t make them a bad person.

2. Your character should not be ashamed of being blind or of covering their eyes. It is a part of their life, they’re used to it by now, even if they weren’t in the beginning.

The shame and internalized ableism is something that should be written about, but that’s for an own-voices story with a blind author. I don’t think an abled person will ever be able to understand how much society expects you to hate yourself and your disability because “being disabled is a tragic thing that ruins your life” and how that does affect your mental health, self esteem, your relationships with others, your medical care, and what kind of accommodations you can get.

3. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few sarcastic lines in response to uncomfortable conversations.

Stranger: so what’s with the...

Blind Character: what’s with what?

S: the... you know

BC: you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific

S: Your eyes?

BC: They’re... eyes

S: but you’re...

BC: Blind?

S: uh...

BC: yeah, I’m blind. *walks away*

Or this conversation:

S: *to some other character* so why are his eyes covered?

(author’s note: which, honestly, that’s fucking rude. At least have the guts to ask me yourself)

BC: If I look anyone in the eye they instantly perish.

*awkward silence*

BC: instantly.

Friend: It’s truly tragic

BC: *melancholic* that’s how I lost my sister. *chokes up* She was so young

Or this conversation:

S: Why are you wearing that?

BC: It’s called fashion Karen!

Or this conversation:

S: are you like... blind?

BC: yes?? why wouldn’t I be?? Wait, are you sighted? Are you one of those sighted people? You poor thing! What caused you to gain your sight? Do you have a car? A bike? Were you born sighted? What’s it like to see color? Do you miss not having to see 

God, I want a chance to try that last one. I haven’t interacted with a stranger in almost a year. One day...

4. Honestly, it’d also be cool if someone’s reaction to your character covering their eyes was like, “cool sunglasses,” or “cool *insert random character, even one you made up* cosplay,” (which is ten times funnier if this character is a notable figure in modern society like an actor who people might cosplay). 

5. You know, if he’s covering his eyes with some kind of blindfold, he should totally have custom blindfolds for his moods. Like, I have a mask that says “suck it up buttercup” and another that says “not today” because sometimes that’s the mood. And sometimes the mood is one of my floral masks, and sometimes the mood is my cat mask.

So, just some thoughts. I hope that helps.

Edit: a commenter said: “op, unless i'm mistaken this kind of reads like anon meant the character ISN'T blind but lies about being blind to explain covering their eyes? it seems like they made a typo on the word "isn't"”

So my original response to the question was based on the assumption that the character is blind. However,

If the character is not blind, then do not under any circumstances have them lie and say they’re blind to escape a mild inconvenience. 

It’s better to have the character actually explain the situation or straight up leave the conversation or invent a more ridiculous lie than to perpetuate the very real stereotype and misconception that there are people who fake being blind and therefore it’s okay to discriminate or harass them if you even suspect they’re faking.

Do not under any circumstances perpetuate that stereotype. Do not harass someone because you don’t think they’re blind enough.

[granny-griffin]

Hi guys! This post has content warnings for the following: suicide, incest, abortion, politics, and swearing. I've tagged this post for all of the above, so you should add one or all of them to your blocked tags if you don't want to see it. Stay safe friends!

@arists started a conversation with me on this post. I'm making my own post now so that I don't clog up op's notifications with our discussion. I'll post the relevant screenshots here, but I'm including the link so that you can fact check what happened if you want.

#1 (op's post)

Image Description: "A screenshot of a twitter thread. Sarah Chavez writes, 'It's not hard to see what a pro-life world looks like. It looks like a world with a lot of dead women in it." An article is linked, but the url is cut off. Emily Gould replies to the first tweet, saying, '"Amnesty International reports that suicide now accounts for 57 percent of deaths of pregnant femals ages 10-19 in El Salvador." That's what a "culture of life" looks like.'"

#2 (in the notes of op's post)

Image Description: "granny-griffin replies, 'This. Suicide is an evil we have to prevent. But murder is NEVER the answer. I'm not sure how it even became a viable option. We need a better solution.'"

(note that there is a significant time gap between images #2 and #3)

#3

Image Description: "arists replies, '@granny-griffin the only other "solution" is mandatory vasectomies on males but good luck telling men what you want to force onto their bodies. ntm abortion at 6 weeks isn't fucking murder but science doesn't fucking matter to you.' Then granny-griffin replies, '@arists if you want to start a conversation, then I'm happy to talk! you can dm me or whatever! But if you're just angry, then I'm glad you found an outlet and I hope you feel better soon'"

#4

Image Description: "arists replies, '@granny-griffin go start a conversation with the women of texas' Then granny-griffin replies, '@arists I mean. I am a woman living in texas so that should be pretty easy. I'll try to do that sometime soon! It's always helpful to me to hear other people's perspectives on important issues'"

#5

Image Description: "arists replies '@granny-griffin so you're a traitor then? when you see little girls being forced to birth a product of incest you feel better about yourself? you see women who have a dead baby in their body forced to cary to full at the risk of her life and think "nice job me!!" And you've probably never adopted with makes it even funnier. youre an embodiment ignorance and selfishness.'"

#6 (private message between arists and granny-griffin)

Image Description: "granny-griffin says, 'hey I really. don't want to fight you. I know that you're upset. I think we both want to help women in vulnerable situations, we just have different ideas of how that should work out practically.' In a second text, granny-griffin continues, 'If you need to keep venting, you should do it here. That way if you say something you might regret, it won't be in public'"

#7

Image Description: "arists sends three messages. The first one says, 'I'm not venting I'm saying it how it is' The second one says, 'I've dealt with ill-minded christians like you my entire life I know your strategy' The third one says, 'now go back to the post because I refuse to deal with you behind doors so you can appear "holier than thou" by putting on a fake image'"

#8

Image Description: "granny-griffin sends seven messages. The first one says, 'ok we can do this in public' The second one says 'give me until tonight though I've got school' The third one says 'do you care if I make a separate post? I'll copy all the previous stuff from our conversation and the main post' The fourth one says, 'I just don't want to have a whole conversation on op's thread' The fifth one says, 'it would feel disrespectful almost?' The sixth one says, 'like they have their whole point and I don't want to completely de-rail them' The seventh one says, 'but if you aren't cool with moving them then I can come to wherever is comfortable to you'"

#9

Image Description: "arists says, 'go ahead'"

to preface—airsts I'm still not totally sure what you want out of this. You aren't obligated to respond to anything I say—just like I'm not obligated to respond to you. We don't know each other, and this is kind of an unfortunate way for us to meet. Still, I hope we can have a productive conversation going forward. I'll go through everything and ask questions. You can respond to as many or as few of them as you want.

#3:

The only other solution to what—suicide? unwanted pregnancy? incest? Is that really the only other solution? What are some policies you would like to see implemented to deal with each of these?

How do you define murder? How do you define what a human life is? Are there particular scientific facts or theories you make use of in your definition? If you have time, please either explain them, or reference an article/book/other source that does. I would like to learn! But I understand that fact checking is a lot of work so if you're too busy I understand.

#4:

(A note here—my knowledge of the situation is not as thorough as I would like it to be, but from what I know I'm not satisfied with the way abortion restrictions are being implemented in Texas. What are we doing—reporting each other to the secret police or something? Notifying the authorities of a crime is one thing, but why is there a finder's fee? Why are we sueing each other? This kind of thing will only breed corruption and mistrust.)

#5:

Huh, what am I a traitor to? Women? Is there a point of view that is specifically the "pro-women" point of view? Traitor makes this sound like a war—are there sides? are there good and bad guys? Who gets to define all of this?

No, I don't like it when girls are forced to birth a child conceived in incest. What are some ways that this situation could be prevented? Do you think that easy abortion access could ever perpetuate abuse by allowing abusers to get rid of the evidence of their actions? Is providing abortion services to victims of incest worth this risk? (and I mean that as a legitimate question, not a leading question)

(Another note here—I am pretty sure children who die in the womb can still be born naturally (hence the term "still-born"). But again, my knowledge here is limited and my issue with abortion is largely because of the harm it does to the child. If the child is dead already, and abortion is the only way to remove them, then I don't have a problem with this.)

Do you think adoption is the only way to take care of vulnerable children? Did you know that people who adopt sometimes need help raising funds to do so, or need help with babysitting, or need meals made and chores done for them? Did you know that mothers who raise their own children need these things too? Is this an attack on my argument, or an attack on me (ad hominem)?

#7

Sorry to assume you were venting—I should have asked what your purpose was instead of making assumptions.

Okay but do please tell me—what is my strategy? I am curious to hear your psychoanalysis of me and my goals.

Arists, I'm really sorry if I came off as "holier than thou." I'm not a better person than you. I know that I think I'm right—everybody does. But I do want to be open to hearing and learning from your perspective. Even if you don't change my mind, you can increase my empathy, and that's extremely valuable to me.

okay, that’s it! I’ll wait for your response!

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 72 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 158 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 155 responses

94.2% of respondents gave the episode either a 4 or a 5, with the definitive majority being 5s. In addition, there was only a single grade (2) below a 3. Very nice!

Probably the best episode post marley

HYPE

One of the best non-action episodes so far, with perfect adaptation of given scenes. Really looking forward to next episode.

Very emotional and exciting. Pacing was great.

Much better than the last

Must watch episode. 

Loved it

WHICH MOMENT AT LEVI AND ZEKE’S LOCATION WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 155 responses

Levi and Zeke had more than a few moments in this episode, so we asked you which one of those was your favorite. The definitive majority (60.6%) stated that they clearly preferred the scene of Levi lamenting the deaths of his comparades in pursuit of saving Eren over the years. A noted minority (21.9%) also seemed to enjoy the scene of Zeke telling Levi that he must not be popular or the scene wherein the truth about Ragako is revealed (8.4%). Levi accusing Zeke of being guiltless or learning about Eren’s escape from prison garnered less praise.

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING FALCO, GABI, THE BLOUSE FAMILY AND NICOLO WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 155 responses

That being said (previous question), the majority (plurality?) of the episode was taken up by the second part of Gabi’s Bizarre Adventure. As such, we also decided to ask you which of those moments was your favorite. The plurality (44.5%) gave their preference to seeing Mr. Blouse deescalate the situation. In second place (16.8%) we had Nicolo revealing the truth about the wine. Closely behind, 16.1% stated that they most appreciated seeing Gabi and Falco find Nicolo in the restaurant cellar. Finally, 12.9% enjoyed seeing Nicolo and Gabi argue. The rest of the options (Kaya suspecting a romantic relationship, the Blouse Family enjoying Nicolo’s food and the Blouse kids calling Gabi a bumpkin) didn’t garner as much fanfare. 

Mr. Blouse's line about the children in the forest is one my favorite lines in the whole story, and this is such a major turning point for Gabi—I'd been looking forward to this episode, and it did not disappoint!

Papa Blouse is wisest man in this universe, prove me if I’m wrong!

WHICH MOMENT INVOLVING THE SURVEY CORPS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 154 responses

A fair bit of the episode was also taken up by the Survey Corps doing their own investigating. We also asked what your favorite moment from those segments was your favorite. 45.5%, a plurality, stated that it was Eren showing up and telling AM that he wanted to talk. Another relatively popular option with almost 17% was Hange & Co. learning about Floch’s involvement with the wine. Almost 15% chose the scene with Mikasa saving Gabi from Kaya’s attack as the one they preferred the most and 11% said that the scene with Nicolo saving Jean and Connie from drinking the tainted wine was their favorite. Other scenes, like Armin and Mikasa talking with Gabi and the rest of the major SC members learning about the wine were less popular.

ZEKE ACCUSES LEVI OF BEING UNPOPULAR. LEVI DENIES THIS. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 155 responses

Zeke’s accusation is one of the funnier interactions he has with Levi (in the opinion of the person writing these small paragraphs), so it’s no surprise that 40.6% thought that it was rather funny how defensive Levi got over it, even if they weren’t sure how popular the man himself was. 32.9% seemed to believe that Levi was actually rather popular, owing to his title of “Humanity’s Strongest”. 12.3% thought that although his image might be popular, but that it was most likely restricted among members of the Survey Corps. Finally, a minority was, in fact, convinced that Levi wasn’t popular at all, really. 

Man slut Levi tapping dem beeyatches playing dem hoes

If Zeke knew how much pussy Levi got from the fangirls he’d hide every woman he knows from Levi

I mean he's definitely popular among those who idolize him, but he's an awkward grumpy gay so I bet a lot of people are put off by his personality when they meet him lol. But he's best boi and I love him

BrO he knows hes hella popular, he’s just humble like that 😌

i think he's popular but probably hasn't taken advantage of it bc he's awkward LMAO

Actually in Season 1, random villagers were calling out to him by name. On Paradis he's got clout with that killstreak

It could be one of those self aware manga moments? Like breaking 4th wall but much more subtle? 

He is definitely popular. But anyway what I noticed here is that it's a little different in anime and manga. In anime, he was kind of defensive which is funny and cute. In manga, he looked more like he was lamenting that he used to be popular back when killing titans was the only thing important. Anyway, regardless, I like both versions.

Levi as a story (humanity's strongest!! He took out a million titans on his own) is popular among the survey corps/army. Levi the actual man is awkward as fuck. He's one of those heroes who you don't want to meet cause it turns out he's short and grouchy and ill-mannered in actuality.

he's popular with hanji hehehe

He's gotta be pretty popular just because 1) he was always next to erwin and 2) he survived this long

He's totally popular... in the fandom.

I mean, it's pretty obvious that he's admired for being humanity's strongest, so yeah, he's popular.

PAPA BLOUSE SAYS THAT IT IS UP TO THE ADULTS TO SHOULDER THE SINS OF THE PAST, AND TO “KEEP THE CHILDREN OUT OF THE FOREST.” WHAT DO YOU THINK? 154 responses

Mr. Blouse’s speech seemed to resonate with the majority of the fandom (64.9%), who thought his sentiment ringed true and that it was something one should strive for. 25.3% of respondents noted that although the sentiment wasn’t wrong per say, it was too idealistic for how the “real world” functioned. Finally, a small minority wasn’t having it and seemed to think that children were no different from adults in this cruel world™️ (Thanks, Mikasa and Bertholdt.) 

It's expected that children will inherit some of the sins of the past, but it's the responsibility of adults to teach kids to do and be better.

Generational wounds require generational healing

Children are inevitably gonna have to bear the sins of the past until the world as we know it is destroyed and rebuilt into a better world

Normally I would agree excoet those are Gabi's own actions we're talking about...

In a perfect world, children wouldn't have to inherit the sins of the previous generation, but the AoT world is far from perfect. But, sheesh, what these kids are having to deal with is just unfathomable.

Weak, pathetic coward and I lost all respect for him as a man

Blouse Parents MVP's this ep. 

I agree that you shouldn't pass on the hate onto new generations, but I don't think that shouldering all the sins is EVERY adult's responsibility either.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, DID MAPPA DO THE DRAMATIC RESTAURANT SCENE JUSTICE? 152 responses

The restaurant scene was rather dramatic, all things considering, so it was no wonder that getting its atmosphere through was of key importance. The overwhelming majority was very happy with what was shown on screen, with 67.1% thinking MAPPA went above and beyond and 27% simply thanking the animation studio for the accurate adaptation. A few people, in contrast, thought that the manga conveyed the tone more effectively than the anime did. 

I just wanted to see Sasha eating pizza :( 

It was freaking amazing, absolute perfection 

Mixed feelings! I really loved the tension, emotion and voice acting! But I'm a bit sad they didn't include the sasha flashback bits that could've added to the emotions.

A COUPLE MEMORIES OF SASHA EATING NICOLO’S FOOD AND LEARNING TO HUNT WITH HER FATHER WEREN’T ANIMATED. DO YOU MISS THESE SCENES? 154 responses

The flashbacks with Sasha eating pizza were cherished by a small part of the fandom, so it is no surprise that at least a certain part of the fandom was disappointed in not seeing these panels animated. That segment, as mentioned, was rather small, as only 10.4% stated that it was a near deal breaker for them. In contrast, 58.4% were willing to accept the cut, even if there was a small part of them that wished that it was animated. Some stated that they never cared about those panels at all and 22.7% simply never noticed the cut. 

No, I like it that we can focus on Sasha's parents' faces during the speech

I miss those scenes, but including them wouldn't flow nicely with this medium

I really wanted to see her eating pizza but I knew it wouldn't make it in. It wouldn't make sense with the tone of the main scene.

NOW THAT WE KNOW ABOUT THE WHOLE WINE PLOT, DO YOU THINK THE MAIN CAST WAS EXEMPT FROM CONSUMING THE WINE BECAUSE OF EREN? 148 responses

Many have argued that Eren was pretty reckless with allowing the wine plot to happen. Though 40.5% are certain that the plan truly was only to have higher ups drink the wine (and perhaps Eren assumed there would be no risk to his friends). 18.9% believe that neither Yelena nor Zeke cared about who would drink the wine, but that Eren negotiated terms with them. 18.2% on the other hand believe that Yelena/Zeke actively avoided getting his friends involved, knowing that he wouldn’t approve of it. 9.5% can’t say for certain, and only 8.1% believe that Eren didn’t care if his friends drank the wine at all, and that Nicolo is the one who actively spared them. 

It’s paths Yams don’t gotta explain shit

Priority probably went to the military police and garrison- Levi’s team in the forest makes a big deal about getting the wine. 

They thought they might still need the scouts after a scream so it was made sure they wouldn't drink any.

I think Eren maybe saw enough about what was gonna happen that he didn't have to vocalize or care too much about who drank the wine. Although, poor Pyxis and the rest. Eren has had contempt for "lazy" military higher ups before, but he also saw people like Hannes change. Idk, maybe he felt their lives were worth sacrificing.

Plot convenience. At least Hange is in my opinion a high up if Nile and Pixis are too.

I think eren had something to do with the wine not being distributed to the survey corps, whether it was him directly or if it was zeke and yelena knowing that it would've pissed eren off, but obviously eren didn't do anything to specifically prevent it because if niccolo hadn't stopped them, main cast would've drank it 

I think it didn't matter if only the higher-ups got to drink the wine, but since Niccolo had kind-of relations to Jean and co., he didn't want them to drink it.

DO YOU THINK MAPPA EFFECTIVELY FORESHADOWED AND BUILT UP THE WINE PLOT? 148 responses

The wine plot was built up meticulously over the course of months in the manga, which allowed for a whole bunch of theories to prop up. The anime goes by quicker, naturally. So we asked if you felt that the build up for said plot was done well in the adaption. The overwhelming majority thought so, with 48% stating that they felt MAPPA did an even better job than the source, in contrast to the 35.8% who stated their belief in Isayama’s superiority. On the other hand, a fair few also stated that they didn’t enjoy MAPPA’s portrayal of this subplot and preferred the original. We’ve also gotten a fair few write-ins, mostly stating that it’s hard to compare the two. 

I think it's hard to compare because in the manga we had months in between the first foreshadowing and the reveal that there was something up with the wine. We had time to simmer and theorize, the anime didn't have much time to delve deeper into that particular moment especially with everything else going on in the series at the same time. They did a good job!

no real opinion either way

Yes, they did it accurately.

Idk man

It was good, even with the manga.

Hard to say bc in the manga, I felt completely blindsided and surprised. And, of course, I knew what was happening in the anime. Both were well done, I think.

I think it was way on the nose. It was better and subtler in manga.

I have no opinion

It has been so long, I forgot how it went down exactly in the manga. MAPPA's version was good though.

I don't particularly prefer one over the other. I think MAPPA did a really good job building up this plot. 

They did good, though it was a little more obvious here. Then again, I knew it was coming already, so eh.

THE SCENE WHERE LEVI FINDS OUT THE MILITARY PLANS TO HAVE SOMEONE EAT EREN IS IN BETWEEN THE RESTAURANT SCENES. DO YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD REARRANGEMENT? 150 responses

As seen in the season prior, MAPPA has rearranged certain scenes with the narrative. This time it’s the Levi/Zeke forest scene, juxtaposed with the restaurant scenes. A plurality (42.7%) thought the change worked in its favour. 18.7% didn’t mind it too much, but did prefer Isayama’s version of events and a few thought the change was simply bad outright. 33.3% thought the change didn’t really make a difference one way or the other. There was also a write-in. 

The complaint O have its that these scene occurs at night and the restaurant one was in briad daylight, so it felt odd because Im assuming its the same say.

THE VISUALS OF LEVI REMEMBERING THE DEATHS OF HIS COMRADES WHEN RESCUING EREN ARE DIFFERENT IN THE ANIME THAN THE MANGA. WHO DID IT BETTER? 154 responses

There was somewhat of a contrast between the flashbacks experienced by Levi in the manga and anime. We asked which version you preferred. Though most (57.8%) noted that both versions were nice, 31.8% said that they preferred the animated version, in contrast to the 10.4% who liked Isayama’s art better.

We’ve also gotten a very passionate write-in for this one. 

I'M SO UPSET THEY DIDN'T ANIMATE THE PANEL OF EREN'S FACE NEXT TO LEVI'S FROM WHEN HE SAVED HIM THE FIRST TIME IN TROST. Like I get it that they wanted to focus on all of the people Levi has lost, but in comparison with the manga it makes it seem like Levi doesn't even care about Eren anymore. If they had a shot where Levi is thinking about Eren specifically before focusing on his comrades, then it would've made more sense why he basically rejected the plan to have Eren be eaten. It would've shown that Levi still cares about Eren and doesn't want him to be killed unless there's nothing else they can do. It just feels like the anime (both WIT and Mappa) is constantly undermining Eren and Levi's relationship (and don't even get me started on how much worse it is in the dubbed version). Although, to be fair, the anime seems to do that to all of Eren's relationships that aren't with Mikasa. Like not even from a shipping perspective; even his relationship with Armin got parts ignored in favor of replacing them with moments with Mikasa. But whatever. Levi still cares about Eren, and I just wish the anime did a better job at showing that.

LEVI IS CUT OFF BEFORE HE GETS A CHANCE TO TELL THE SOLDIERS THEY SHOULD HAVE ZEKE EATEN INSTEAD, AND THAT THEY CAN ATTACK MARLEY AGAIN IF NEED BE. DO YOU THINK WE WILL GET THIS PART OF THE CONVERSATION NEXT EPISODE BEFORE HE TRIES TO MAKE A MOVE ON DEBILITATING ZEKE? 148 responses

Levi’s lines focused on explaining himself were cut a bit short in this episode, so we were wondering if we were going to hear them next episode. As it turns out, 49.3% believe so, stating that they’re important for the story and its context. In contrast, 20.9% believed that these lines were not actually necessary and weren’t going to be shown. 29% can’t say for sure, one way or another. 

Maybe it will be shown next chapter? MAPPA does that often.

A lot of missing dialogue from Levi that look important for the final chapter

IN THE FINAL SCENE, DO YOU THINK EREN APPEARS MORE SOMBER THAN MENACING IN COMPARISON TO THE MANGA? 151 responses

The vast majority of the fandom feels that MAPPA really brought out the somber expression Eren wore as he prepares to break the hearts of his friends, feeling that it signifies how regretful Eren is of what he’s about to say. 11.9% felt it was hard to read his expression properly due to the scene being cut off. 7.9% feel the opposite of the majority. While they agree he appears more somber, they aren’t buying it as genuine for a minute. Only a small handful felt that he still looked as menacing as in the manga. 

My boi is looking positively dead inside

More depressed, less menacing.

Yes, and I didn't like it. Manga version is better.

Yes, he seems more somber than menacing but Idk why. Even after the latest chapter, I still dk if he is/was acting or really explaining how he felt in a sense. Still not sure if he's like, "fuck it, I'm burning the whole world" or "I don't want to but I have to do this."

I like it in manga way more

He looks regretful in both manga and anime to me?

IT WOULD APPEAR THAT EPISODE 14 WILL ADAPT THE REST OF CHAPTER 112, ALONG WITH THE ENTIRETY OF CHAPTER 113. GIVEN THAT ACTION GENERALLY IS MUCH QUICKER TO ADAPT THAN NON-ACTION, DO YOU THINK EPISODE 14 WILL FEATURE ANY SCENES BEYOND THOSE TWO CHAPTERS? 147 responses

As we’re coming to season’s end, one can’t help but wonder how the rest of the episodes’ content will be spread out, knowing that it ends on 116. We asked if you believed Episode 14 will feature content from post-Chapter 113. The majority (55.1%) didn’t seem sure. But some (19.7%) thought that we were going to see elements from 114. As for the rest, a few thought that it was going to simply end on 113, some believed we might get anime-only content, a few thought we were going to see 115 scenes and some just didn’t care. 

Nah. I think it’ll end exactly where 113 ends

Tbh I'm too lazy to see what the next few chapters cover but they've been rearranging a lot of scenes in the past few episodes, so probably.

IN LINE WITH THE PREVIOUS QUESTION, DO YOU THINK WE’LL GET ANY MORE STORY REARRANGEMENT IN THIS SEASON? 148 responses

MAPPA has taken some creative liberties when adapting this season, including the rearrangement of certain scenes between episodes. The question posed was whether MAPPA will do it again. A slight plurality (49.3%) believed that it was going to happen again, in contrast to the 41.2% who weren’t sure. A select either didn’t think it’s going to occur or just didn’t care.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 154 responses

The majority (55.2%) seems to be most enthralled with seeing the EMA Table Talk on screen, followed by a notable amount (37.7%) of folks who were most looking forward to seeing another battle between Levi and Zeke. A select few (7.1%) were instead most interested in seeing the scene with Hange, Floch and Shadis. 

Mmgh

How dare you make us chose between these three scenes, this was so hard, I'm looking forward all three !

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

M O N K E  J U I C E

I hate Floch more than ever, and that cliffhanger at the end was a cruel spot to leave us at for a whole week.

SHHHH

That iconic Eren holding his bloody hand scene was spot-on!

Why no Mikasa hugging Gabi????? 

it’s a real 3 ring shitshow- survey corps made into clowns, children screaming, monkey business, unamused adults, and the ringmaster just waltzed on into the middle of it.

I was disappointed at first when I saw the screenshots and spoilers, but man, when I watched the entirety, that was some great acting and pacing. Way better than the previous 2 episodes. Thank you MAPPA! Really hoping they do well again next episode. Could be the as great episode 6/7! And thank you as always, SNK poll team!

Thankfully this first part is almost over. The manga is legendary and that season is barely good. I'm so disappointed. And I really liked Eren's expression better in the manga. I don't understand why they changed it.

I miss the rotoscoping from the first Mappa episodes. Everything looks a bit stiff.

I cried more in this episode than I have at any other this season so far smh. 

When Mikasa stops Kaya from stabbing Gabi. In the manga it seems that Mikasa was protecting Gabi and bringing her head close to her chest, but in the manga she looked somewhat uncomfortable. And it wasn't appreciated enough. I also did not like that they excluded Hange moments because it helped the way of seeing her as a leader and the scene of Levi thinking about his dead comrades looked very simple to me. I prefer manga. but the voice actors were amazing! I liked the episode but it is not one of my favorites.

i didnt think i could hate floch any more than i already did but the way mappa animated him made me want to punch my laptop omg

Gabi deserves what she got. Shame I lost all respect for Mikasa for stopping Kaya from killing Gabi.

Mikasa is dead to me. So is Sasha's dad. WHY would they just let Gabi walk away scott free?

As a Gabi hater, this is where fandom hypocrisy gets me in regards to Mr. Braus and Mikasa sparing Gabi. Mr. Braus becomes widely regarded as some virtuous and compassionate saint while Mikasa is bad for stopping Kaya. They BOTH suck for betraying Sasha's memory. Poor Sasha deserved so much better.

sorry my only thoughts are PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH. 

That scene with Jean + Wine Bottle hit real different after recent events.. 

ALL HAIL SUPREME GOD EMPEROR OF ELDIA FLOCH FORSTER!

The voice acting in the restaurant scene had me crying. Had to pause it

The shading and animation in the forest look awesome which could really make the Levi vs. Zeke fight outshine the Manga.

Mr. Braid's speech was just as cringe in the anime as it was in the manga. Shame on him for not avenging his daughter.

I think the manga did better in the scene where Kaya was about to kill Gabi in how sudden it was. In the anime, we got to follow Kaya's whole trajectory up until she was stopped by Mikasa, so Mikasa saving Gabi didn't feel as monumental. They did great on Kaya's murderous rage and breakdown though.

As long as I live I will never understand why Mr. Braus could be so pathetic as to forgive his daughter's killer. Especially knowing what happens later in, no true parent would just let their childs killer into their family. It's disgraceful.

Gabi sucks

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 142 responses

Thanks again to everyone for participating!

If you haven’t yet, please take a moment to send in your vote for up to 5 favorite characters for our 2021 character popularity poll!

[catflowerqueen]

Rescue Team Retrospective Part 8: Characterization, Part 5

Hero

Much to my surprise, they actually do have more spoken dialogue than I remember. However, most of it still seems to be when they are/think they are alone, when they are dreaming, or during dialogue tree options. They also have funnier dialogue options on the whole, compared to in Explorers. …And I honestly don’t remember how much they have in PSMD, but I feel like it still less than they had in Gates?

Anyways, I get the feeling that they’re a bit older than most of the other protagonists, mostly in terms of what little dialogue we do see and how their situation seems a bit more dire in general? They are more prone to speculating on their new nature as a pokemon, for one, and they seem a bit more active over all in actually trying to figure out what exactly happened to them. Possibly this is because they actually get some hints early one with Alakazam suggesting they go check out the Hill of the Ancients, compared to Explorers waiting until the expedition and then pretty much stumbling into a possibility with Uxie, PSMD not really seeming to touch on it until way, way late in the game, and Gates actually having some knowledge of what they’re there for, but then deciding not to bother finding out anything else despite having the clearest path.

The Rescue Team Hero has the smallest support group and the natural disasters they keep experiencing first hand, even within the town, make their situation the most dangerous from the get-go, but they rise to the challenge admirably. And also, no one questions the fact that they are choosing to live alone even though we do have multiple examples of parents with children present in the Square—which is another reason why I think they must be older, because otherwise I would hope one of the actual adults would question it. So I’d give them late teens at minimum.

We don’t really get too much of a backstory on them besides the fact that they apparently spoke with Gardevoir and suggested the memory wiping themselves as a test of their worthiness. I think that the implication might also be that they are actually from the pokemon world specifically, rather than pulled there like the Gates hero was, but it isn’t entirely clear from the dialogue exactly how far the “We” that Gardevoir spoke of could reach on their search for a savior, so it could really go either way. I personally headcanon them as coming from the human world, though.

Of all the different heroes, I still think they have the least actual characterization—though they definitely do have more of it than I previously remembered.

 Partner

I’m going to note again that I am just going with the original version. I know that DX changed some stuff—especially when it comes to the post game interactions—but since I haven’t played that version, I can’t comment on it.

The Partner actually seemed a lot sassier and selfish than I remember them being. Like, sure, I did recall that line about them faking a stomachache before they go off to save Shiftry, but even before that… well, they make fun of the hero’s name, for one, and they seem a bit self-centered and glory seeking when it comes to receiving personal rescue requests. Like… I touched on it a little in the Gengar post, but their reaction to the mail stealing scene struck me a bit differently as an adult than it did when I was a child. They weren’t angry that someone was stealing from their friend’s mailbox—they were angry that they weren’t the ones who would be getting the credit for completing the rescue requests. And maybe I’m just being nit-picky about it, but the subtle difference there just strikes me as putting the partner in a bit more negative light.

That aside, their devotion to the hero is clear. They are a great friend and go to many lengths to help them figure out their identity. And I actually think their moment of doubt after hearing the Ninetales Legend for the first time actually serves to strengthen their emotion and conviction. They really did go ride or die from the hero—knowing all the risks and having only their friendship as a reason to follow them on the fugitive arc. Comparatively, the Explorers partner literally was just dragged along with no say in the matter, the Gates partner thought it was just going to be a standard rescue mission when they agreed to help, and the PSMD partner was really the one who seemed to be calling the shots for the most part (and also accidentally got dragged along to their fugitive arc equivalent much like the Gates hero did, since their initial assumption was that the mission was going to be different than what ended up happening).

This is why I felt—and still feel—very betrayed by the fact that they pretty much abandon the hero after the main storyline. And they can even kick you out of your actual house if you choose them to be the leader. Okay, so the way that they frame it is to suggest taking a divide and conquer approach—that you can make teams specifically suited to each quest—but its just really sad that they no longer follow you around anymore or get any special dialogue if you visit their friend area.

I don’t think their goals and desires are as clear cut as some of the other partners. They seem to be almost making things up as they go at some points. Yes, there is an early indication and justification for wanting to form a Rescue Team initially, but they don’t really seem to get too into the idea of what that actually means until Caterpie expresses an interest in one day joining and the partner then suggests one day creating a proper base. And then promptly says nothing else on the matter or tries to get that started at any point between then and the fugitive arc until they randomly bring it up after meeting the mankey gang. Like, sure, some of that was put on the backburner when they got that suggestion to see Xatu… but there was still a little time before that, and there was ample opportunity for them to have had some sort of dialogue option indicating that they were still interested in doing that, but were going to put it aside in deference to the hero’s needs.

From that point of view, their bond with the hero probably is a lot stronger from the beginning. Which is in some ways good, but in other ways bad since it means we don’t get to see as much relationship growth. Though, ironically, I think we do see more growth from this pair in that matter than we do from the Explorers pair, especially considering the “moment of doubt” scene.

Like, sure, the Explorers duo are excellent friends, and obviously they are extremely close considering the whole Dimensional Scream thing. But while we do see some individual growth from the partner, there aren’t too many overt examples. Sure, we get that montage before the credits… but its just a lot more subtle. And that actually speaks more to the sort of easy friendships of young children, which is another reason that I headcanon that pair as being so young—which makes it all the sweeter that the duo can stand the test of time and remain close even after the big adventure is over.

That being said, I still think that the Rescue Team pair has less relationship growth than Gates or PSMD does. Which is probably one of the few nice things I can say about PSMD—I really do like how they handled the partner’s character growth there… it’s just too bad that a lot of the time it came at the expense of the hero, in multiple ways.

So I guess my overall verdict on the Rescue Team partner is that they aren’t as flat of a character as I remember, they’re still lacking in personal growth overall and are probably the overall weakest partner of the series even though there are some aspects in which they excel.

As a final note… Interestingly enough, it really is only the Gates and Rescue Team partners who really get the chance to make a deliberate choice to put the hero’s desires before their own—though it is slightly more subtle in the Rescue Team partner’s case. Sure, unlike the Gates partner, the Rescue Team partner doesn’t ever have the opportunity to actually ask the hero to stay with them—the hero didn’t tell them they would have to leave and then came back on their own anyways fairly quickly, and though the partner did question once whether or not they wanted to turn into a human again, they didn’t really comment much either way and the subject was quickly dropped. But it was the Rescue Team partner who worked through a moment of doubt and resolved to trust their hero, and, again, they did not have to go on the run with the hero. The hero outright offered to disband the team and give them the chance to leave, and they refused.

This is much like the subtle way that the Gates partner showed they cared. True, they didn’t exactly take back their words to the hero about wanting them to stay—at least not beyond what they said in the goodbye frism—but they were very willing to pass up on the opportunity to wish for their return if it meant the hero would be happier on Earth, and they tried their hardest to give them the best of both world when they did finally make a wish.

In comparison, the question was never really brought up with the Explorers partner, and they didn’t really have a choice or opportunity either way. And the PSMD partner didn’t give the hero any chances or opportunities at all, period—only some of which can be explained on the fact that apparently they also had their own case of amnesia, because even then they weren’t trying all that hard to look into the hero’s situation before that point when they, at least, actually got the opportunity to have an actual life and childhood full of new memories with their guardian and didn’t actually realize they had changed species at all, unlike the hero who knew full well from the get-go that they had amnesia and weren’t supposed to be a pokemon at all.

[calliecat93]

Top 15 Star Trek TOS Episodes (Part Two)

(Part One)

Continuing from the last post, here are the remaining seven episodes~! Also picking Number One was SUPER hard. I was stuck between it and two for a long while. But I finally picked, so here we go!

#7. The Trouble With Tribbles

Up to this point, I hadn’t been crazy over some of the goofier episodes of Star Trek. Shore Leave was a mindscrew that left me uncertain about what was even happening by the end, though my opinion has lightened up upon looking back. The Squire of Gothos had a villain that I found far more annoying than entertaining and it remains one of my least favorite episodes. The only more silly one I did like was I, Mudd which remains an utter laugh riot once everyone acts as illogical as possible, including Spock. But then this episode came along, and Dear Lord it is hilarious. Our heroes stop at a space station, but it’s also occupied by Klingons. But wait, it gets better! A sleezy guy convinces Uhura to buy a Tribble, these little puff ball things that are kind of cute... until they begin to reproduce so rapidly that they infest the ship and base. To put it simply, it’s not a good time for Kirk. Honestly Kirk is the best part just because of how much he LOATHES every single thing about this episode. The scene where a whole bunch of Tribbles just topple over him and he just resigns himself to his fate and later his epic death glare at Bones when he orders him to figure out what killed the things. And then there’s what makes him come aorund to them, their shared hatred of Klingons. Seriosuly, Kirk is just So Done in this episode and it is amazing~

But seriously, it’s a very entertianing episode. Far more than I thought it was going to be when I read the description. It’s not an episode taken seriosuly, but not in the ‘they just gave up’ kind of way like in certain S3 episodes. The cast seem to be legit having a fun time with this one. The brawl between Scotty, Chekov, and a few other guys against the Klingons was super fun as was Kirk sulking when Scotty revelas that he got provoked over the Enteprise being insulted and not the captain. Poor Jim XD Cyrano Jones was also just a fun delight with how scummy yet amusing he is. The scene with him and the drinks during the brawl had me laughing so much XD Seriosuly there’s just so many good moments. Spock not being immune to the Tribble’s comforting effect and being embarassed at this revelaiton, Spock and McCoy’s snark, the Klingons utter horror at the tiny little furballs, it’s just an entertaining ride from beginning to end.

Not anything to really note flaws wise to justify the ranking. It doesn’t have that emotional or philosophical umph that I normally seek out in shows like this, so it’s here at seven. But that ain’t a bad thing at all. Not every episode has to have deep meanings or complex stories. Sometimes it can just be something fun and amusing, and the effort was still there to make it entertaining. It’s one of those episodes that I would watch above the others on a bad day just so I can laugh. Probably the most fun episode I have on this list, and that’s nothing to snuff at~!

#6. The Doomsday Machine

Our heroes find a Starship where the only survivor is Commadore Decker, his crew having all been killed when he beamed them to a planet that a planet destroyer... well, destroyed shortly after. The destroyer is still active and now the Enterprise is in danger. As Kirk remains on that ship, Decker is determined to destroyt he doomsday machine once and for all, including taking command of the Enteprrise and risking their lives to do so. Yeah, this is a pretty intense one. Decker, while his sucicdal actions were wrong, is VERY sympathetic. His crew was killed through no fault of his own, the machine that did it is still loose, and the losses have left him utterly broken. He’s very much traumatized but as he is the highest ranking officer and they can’t officially prove that he’s too mentlaly unfit to be relieved (which imo is idiotic cause even someone who isn’t a psycologist can tell he’s mentally unfit, but whatever), they can’t do much to stop him. Spock DOES finally manage to do so, and it leads to Decker’s ultimate choice that leads to his tragic end.

This one really gripped me. There’s this tension throughout. We have an unstable, suicidal man taking control of the Enterprise and willing to get them all killed to stop the doomsday machine. It’s scary to see how broken the man is. Again, he’s wrong to be willing to sacrifice everyone on The Enterprise to destroy the thing even though none of them want to die, but you understand why. I mean imagine if that happened to Kirk, he’d probably snap too if his actions in Obsession is any indication of how he handles major losses like that. Then we have Decker’s final act. Once relieved of command, he steals a shuttle and goes at the machine himself. He knows that he’s going to die and accepts that fact if it means some chance, any chance of destroying the machine once and for all. While he fails to destory it, he DOES give Kirk the opprotunity needed to do so with the ruined ship. A move that almost gets Kirk killed, but still Decker’s act was not in vain. It’s a very interesting character study with themes of guilt, trauma, and desperation. Kind of like in Obsession in a way, only Kirk manages to survive and pull himself together before it was too late. Decker’s only goal was to take down the machine that took his crew’s lives, even if that meant losing his own.

As I said, these are the kinds of episodes I live for. I guess self-sacrifice is also genetic consideirng what happened with his son in The Motion Picture, haha. Flaws... ugh... I guess McCoy disappeairng after the first half sucked? But that’s a me thing that doesn’t affect anything. I just remember watching it wide-eyed despite fully well knowing that everyone I cared about were going to be perfectly fine. It really gripped me! A great episode with great character exploration and themes which for a one off character, is pretty dang impressive!

#5. Journey to Babel

Meet the parents epidsode! Yay! The Enteprise is transporting various ambassadors of various planets to the Babel Conference. This includes the Vulcan Ambassador Sarek and his human wife Amanda, aka Spock’s parents. Yep, it’s time for some good ol’ fashioned family issues! Sarek wasn’t exactly happy with Spock choosing Starfleet and their relationship has been strained ever since. But when Sarek has severe heart problems, the only way to save him is via blood transfusion with Spock the only one compatible. But to make it worse, Kirk gets stabbed and put out of comission, forcing Spock to take command... at the same time that his father needs the surgery. Yeah... it sucks to be Spock in this episode. I know that Sarek is a bit divisive, but I like Spock’s parents. Sarek comes off as good at his job, but not great as a parent. He’s far fromt he worst and we do see that he does seem to still care about his son, he’s just God awful at admitting it and his previous mistakes. Like father, like son I guess. Amanda was a delight, especially when she tells McCoy about the sehlat aka giant teddy bear. Anyone who can make Bones smile that big deserves our thanks. Spock trying to make it less embarassing only made it funnier XD But back on topic, they come off as interesitng characters. They ain’t ideal, but they seem to genuinely be in love, which is nice.

Spock was just great here as we see him in one of the roughest spots he’s been in. He’s naturally not happy about being around the father that cast him aside again, though after his heart issues it’s clear that he IS concerned. Leonard Nimoy once again does such a fantastic job at having Spock express so much but without breaking character. It’s all in the eyes and the strained tone of voice. Then when Spock is more than willing to go through with the tranfusion, Kirk is injured. He has no choice but to take command, knowing that in doing so his father will die. While he COULD give command to Scotty, with the VERY intense circumstances of an assaliant on board and a ship ready to attack wit a number of ambassadors on board, he’s the best bet in handling it. Amanda is of course upset and even smacks him which IS overly harsh, but she’s about to lose her husband and her son, despite clealry hating the fact, has to place his duty above all else. Sarek dying is the least worst outcome to everyone else being killed. It’s the most logical route. Fortunately Kirk is able to pull himself together long enough to take over and the transfusion goes through perfectly despite the fight making it more difficult. Which again, McCoy is the true MVP here for managing to pull that off successfully under those conditions and Thank God that the episode rewarded him by letting him finally get the last word. He earned that one!

It’s such a great episode for me. Family drama, Spock conflict, political tensions, and just some relaly fun bits. Seriosuly, the teddy bear bit will NEVER stop being funny. Hoenstly these last five were all pretty tight and this ende dup here cause the other four had just a little bit mroe to keep me invested for reasons. Spock and Sarek don’t really reach a resolution but we do see that it has the chance to improve, and the movies do show that Sarek DOES truly care about his son and even admits that he had been wrong. It takes a lot for a man, even a Vulcan man, to do that. Although I DID double take when I realized that Sarek is played by the same guy who did the Romulan Captain in Balance of Terror. Guess he was that good XD. But yeah, a really great episode and very much my favorite Spock-centric episode.

#4. The Empath

TRIUMVIRATE FEELS BABY~! Our heroes end up trapped by a duo of aliens and encounter a mute empath woman that McCoy names Gem. They try to figure out how to escape as the aliens known as Vians plan to use them for an experiment as they have others. Shenanigains happen while elad to Kirk getting totured p, and then given the ultimate sadistic choice in having to decide if either Spock or McCoy get tortured to the point of either death (McCoy) or permenant brain damage (Spock). Now the episode has it’s issues, like why the Vians needed to do this to decide that Gem’s people were worth saivng is..l really baffling. But I’m also not a Vian so what do I know anout their mindset? But due to those kinds of plot holes, it landed here at four. It also kind of reads like a hurt/comfort fanfic, which isn’t a surprise when you find out that this was written and submitted by a fan. Which is freakin’ awesome and I can’t complain tbh cause it’s a good hurt/comfort fic. What it fails in some plot tightning it succeeds at in emphasizing the relationship between the main trio and it’s themes of emotion and self-sacrifice. Because OF COURSE that would be relevant for these three numbskulls at some point!

The second half is really what sells it. Kirk of course can’t make a choice like that, so Bones hypos him so that he’ll be spared of it. But that means that Spock is in command and he fully intends to hand himself over to the Vians to spare the two. Just the scene where he looks at Kirk, knowing that it’ll likely be the last time he sees him and Gem touching him to feel his emotions. Her smile sums it sll up. Which sidenote, the actress for Gem was freakin’ fantastic in how she displayed so much emotion and character without saying one word. Excellent acting. Anyways, Spock’s plan seems full-proof... except that he forgot that he’s dealing with McCoy, who promptly hypos him as well and sacrifices himself to the Vians. That was when McCoy became my favorite character, the moment he chose to be tortured to near death to save his two best friends and an innocent woman and even took the time to try and comfort her before being taken away. When we see the ifnal result and are greeted to DeForest Kelley looking at the camera with the most dead expression that he can muster... yeah the image STILL haunts me. Then Bones is dying with the two unable to do anything but try to give him some comfort and Gem is just so distraught and... heah this episode mad eit this high simply because it hit the emotional beats perfectly. That’s not even going into Gem trying to heal him to drive home the themes of the episode, also done VERY well.

This episode really shows how much the three care for one another. They’re all willing to be tortured and die to spare the other two. Ultimately McCoy gets the ‘honor’, but Kirk and Spock were absolutely ready to throw themselves to the fire. The characterization, interactions, and dynamic are just done so well that it’s why I can forgive the plot issues. I’m a sucker for feelings okay?! So yeah it’s not perfect but what it got right it got right. As such, it managed to land here at Number Four with only those plot holes keeping it from Number One. And trust me, I was tempted.

#3. The Tholian Web

Season 3 hadn’t been doing it for me with only one or two episodes really getitng my attention up to that point. This one though? This was the best episode in the seaosn bar none. Our heroes end up in a subspace where they find a starship and it’s crew all dead. Whien they teleport back to The Enterprise, it disappears... and takes Kirk with it. Okay, doesn’t sound liek anythignt hat new right? Kirk goes missing, the crew have to deal without him and find him as quickly as posisble. But this one has a bit of a twist... they cut Kirk out completely. Yeah, from the moment he vanishes in the first act to the very end he is out of the episode. Not only does the crew not know what happened to him, but neither does the audience, this ramps up the fear and emotional weight big time as the longer the crew is int hat space, the influence of it drives them to insanity. Bones wants to get out because of this, while Spock is unwilling to leave Kirk if he is alive. Needles to say, things go off the rails quickly.

With Kirk out of the equation, we keep our focus on Spock and McCoy. Their arguing is probably at the most personal it’s ever been with Kirk seming dead, the crew losing their minds, and it looking more and more uncertain that they can both treat the crew and ge tout alive. While one can say that McCoy may be too harsh here, I think along with the space affecting him in a less intense way, he’s also stressed from all the patients as well as his grief about Jim. Spock is the only one that he can take it out on, especially since his chocie to not leave is why they’re now int he mess that they’re in. Spock is trying to perform his duties despite the hostilities and his own grief that he’s trying to keep a grip on with all the responsibility of the crew and whatever happens due to his choice firmly sititng on his shoulders. What finally starts to get them to resolve this? A tape that Kirk made for them in the event of his death. He gives them his confidence that they can perform their duties withiut him, but that they need to lsiten to and support each other. They CAN go on without him. It’ll hurt but they’re now all that they each have and they need to work together now more than ever. It’s a sobering moment for both with McCoy realizng how ovelry harsh he had been and Spock expressing genuine grief. They do still bicke rone more time, but McCoy catches himself before it goes too far, apologizes, and Spock simply says what Jim would: “Forget it, Bones”. Cue Bones fainting like the Southern Bell that he is, haha!

Now of course Kirk is alive and they manage to save him and get out of the situation fine. But I just loved this because of the focus on Spock and McCoy without Kirk. Why? Because Kirk is the one thing that can unite them. It’s not the only thing, but if anything can make them get over their disagreements quickly, it’s Kirk. So what happens when it looks like he’s gone and never coming back? How will the two deal with it now that that balance is gone? They don’t deal with it well, being at each other’s throats until they see that tape. But it DOES show that if they did lose Kirk, they CAN work together and go on. Like I said, I adore these two’s relationship and while not as slashy as All Our Yesterdays, this is such an excellent one for that relationship as we see that yes, they will bicker but they will also be there for each other when it all comes down to it. It’s such a great episode for that reason and the plot was just well done. Like I said, casitng out Jim and leaving us unsure of what happened to him was an excellent move for this one and I enjoyed the exploration that it allowed.

#2. The Immunity Syndrome

Out heroes are scent to investigate what caused a whole solar system to disappear just as they also receive a message from a Vulcan science vessel. Unfortunately, Spock senses he vessel’s destruction and the Enterprise finds itself against a giant space amoeba that will devour everything unless stopped. That may not sound like much, but it leads into what I think was the most intense situation that the Enterprise has been in. Everything, and I mean everything, is pushed to their limits here. This amoeba can outright destroy galaxies and utterly mindless, so there’s no reasoning with it. But it gets especially tense when, in order to understand exactly what’s going on, Kirk has to send someone in the space shuttle to observe, but in doing so, he’s sending someone to most likely die. And his choices? Either Spock or Bones... yeah.

This is what makes this episode great. Spock and Bones are already on rockier than usual terms due to McCoy treating the Vulcan deaths more like a statistic while Spock sensed all of it outright. That itself is an interesting observation on how we treat these kinds of things, not really understanding how horrific it is unless we’re involved in it outright, otherwise it’s sad and unfortunate but just another number. But then we have the suicide mission. Bones originally volunteers himself, after all he’s a doctor and would have the knowledge to make the necessary observaitons and likely the most fit for it. But Spock is not only also perfectly capable even if not specialized in medical science, but he’s also more fit physically and emotionally to undergo the risk and come out alive. In the end, Kirk picks Spock and McCoy ain’t happy about it. The scene with Spock about ready to go with McCoy still unhappy even when Spock asks him to wish him luck. He does... once the doors have shut and Spock can’t hear him anymore. It’s a very strong scene and it only gets more painful when it looks like Spock is truly going to die and his final words are that McCoy should have wished him luck. Bones’ face says everything.

The episode is just excellent. Great character moments. Great emotional weight. Great stakes that keep going up and up and it truly feels like the darkest hour for the crew. Kirk and Spock outright begin to record their respective final words. Even they’re convinced that this is most likely the end, which is just... dang man. I couldn’t look away during this one. They hit everything perfectly with pretty much everything. If I have any issues, none of them come to mind. It’s just an excellent episode and the best of Season 2. I had a REALLY hard time picking between this and my Number One for the top slot. The top one just had a little bit more emotional impact to get it, but it just barely topped this one. Regardless, it is still an excellent episode and one of the best by far. But what is Number One? Well...

#1. The City on the Edge of Forever

Yeah, yeah, obvious pick I know. I normally don’t go wth popular opinion... but sometimes it’s that way for a reason, and this one I can’t argue about. When McCoy gets badly drugged on accident, he goes into a derranged state and beams onto a planet. The crew is unable to stop him from entering a portal known as the Guardian of Forever that sends him into the distant past where he does something to change histry. In order to figure out what changed and to stop McCoy, Kirk and Spock travel into the 1930’s a few days earlier to cut him off and must now navigate their way though the time period where they end up at a soup kitchen run by a woman named Edith Keller. Which Edith is an excellent character. She’s kind, optimistic, charming, hard-working, ad caring towards those who need it. Kirk ends up falling for her, and... it’s legit really cute. Kirk isn’t being forced to make out with a woman or doing so for information. We see how Kirk is when he genunely likes someone, having been drawn to Edith’s optimism and hopes for a better future. A future that he is from and knows will be reality. He’s really sweet and it’s just cute... which makes what happens at the end all the more tragic.

The 1930’s were fun with Kirk trying to come up with an excuse for Spock’s ears having me dying from laughter. The acting was excellent with DeForest Kelley as drugged!Bones especially being both crazy and scary. I quit doubting that he played villains in Westerns after this episode, haha. But of course Spock soon discovers that the change that McCoy is to make is saving Edith form death, and in doing so she leads a pacifist campaign that delays America’s entry into World War II and... well, things go badly. They are in a time where sadly optimism and peace are simply not options, which is even crueler. In order for time to be restored, they have to let Edith die. Kirk is horrified by this and when the time comes (sidenote, the Triumvirate reunion is utterly adorable), he just grabs Bones, keeps his back turned, and can only listen as Edith screams and is killed via car colission. Whatever grievances I have about William Shatner, he absoluteley nailed Kirk’s utter heartbreak and pain as Kirk just looks utterly boken. His final wordds after they return to the 23rd Century simply being a bitter “Let’s get the Hell out of here” sums it all up perfectly. Bones’ horror at it, especially since he DID have to watch it and him being upset at Kirk is also heartbreaking as he asks him if he knows what he just did. Spock can only somberly inform him that yes, he does.

It’s one of those cases where I wish serialization was more of a thign cause DAMN this is some major emotional baggage for everyone but as per usual. It happens and they go on from there with no lingering development. I guess if I had to complain, that would be it but that’s jut the nature of these shows at the time. Kind of feel like Bones getting as bady overdosed as he did pretty much got forgotten after they enter the 1930’s, but I also know nothing about 23rd Century drugs so... ah well. But the rest of the episode is so good that I can forgive those issues and they clealry did nothing to impact the placing. It had a storgn story, great emotion, great acting, great pacing, and a heartbreaking but fitting ending. The episode has a LOT of history behind it’s making that could be a post all it’s own, but no mater how this episode came to be, it is very much the best of Star Trek TOS. It was fun yet sad and had me gripped form beginning to ed and just htinkign about it now still makes me sad. Thus, it earns it’s place as my favorite episode of Star Trek TOS.

And we are done! There were a lot of really good episodes and some i REALLY did consider. A Piece of the Action, The Enemy Within (that was skipped for... certian reasons), Is There in Truth No Beauty?, This Side of Paradise, and plenty of others that I enjoyed. There were others I.. well, didn’t, but I can’t recall outright hating anything. Regardless I came in apathetic at best, and I left a fan for it’s characters, interesting ideas, and I just had a lot of fun. It’s outdated in many ways, but still relevant in others. Overall, I’m glad to have finally watched it, and I hope that I enjoy TNG just as much. But if not, I’ll always have this~!

(Image Source: TrekCore TOS Gallery)

[zen3to5]

J/H 7-20: Gimme Shelter

I've said all along that this rewrite is only concerned with the Jackie/Hyde material, especially for everything post-Season 5. That's going to be relaxed from here on out; with Season 7 serving as the series finale in this timeline, there are more adjustments to be made, and they start here with changes to how Eric arrives at his teaching career. But there's Zen here too, as the mess that was Jackie's graduation party gets replaced with something else...

(We assume that 7x18 and 7x19 play out as we know them from the show in this timeline.)

FF.Net AO3

***

SHOW TITLE   MUSIC NOTE: “Oh Well” by the Rockets.   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   The gang hanging out. HYDE and FEZ rummage through the deep freeze, JACKIE writes in a notebook in Hyde’s chair, ERIC and DONNA share the couch, and KELSO sits in the lawn chair.   Jackie finishes off her writing with a firm dotting of a period and sets her pencil and paper down.   JACKIE: And – done! That’s my last high school assignment. I’m all set for graduation this Friday.   ERIC: I can’t believe I graduated a year ago. It’s like, I feel like I’ve done nothing. Man, time really flies when you take two naps a day.   DONNA: Well, I wouldn’t say you’ve done nothing. I mean, you’ve... wow, you’ve really sat on your ass.   Hyde and Fez emerge from the deep freeze, popsicles in hand.   HYDE: Yup, Forman, we’ve all passed you by. I’m running a record store, Donna’s a DJ, Kelso’s a cop – even Fez has a job now. (to Fez) What is it again, man? Uh, shower girl? Make-up lady?   FEZ: Shampoo boy!   HYDE: (beat) Eh, I was close.   He crosses to his chair and pats Jackie on the back. She stands up, lets him sit in the chair, and sits in his lap.   ERIC: Wait a second – does this mean I’m the loser of the group now?   KELSO: You are the one that’s still living with your mommy.   ERIC: Man, you’re still living with your mommy.   KELSO: Not for long. Me and Fez are looking for apartments. Then the only time I’ll see my mom is when she’s doing my laundry, cooking my meals, taking me to the dentist...   He trails off there.   JACKIE: Oh, Eric, I feel kinda bad. I mean, you wouldn’t even be thinking about this kind of stuff if you weren’t caught in the blinding light of my bright future.   FEZ: You know, the scary thing is, if one year went by this fast, imagine where Eric is gonna be in ten years...   He looks up, the camera tracks in, and we transition to:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   FANTASY SEQUENCE.   TITLE CARD 1: Eric’s crappy future.   TITLE CARD 2: Ten years later.   The Vista Cruiser comes into park. A grinning Eric steps out in full Mr. Spock costume, complete with ears. A thoroughly done Donna, in Uhura costume and wig, steps out from the passenger’s side.   ERIC: Thanks for going with me to the Star Trek convention – Uhura.   DONNA: You can call me Donna now.   Without another word, she walks down the street.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – NIGHT   Back to reality. Fez giggles at his scenario, as does everyone but Eric.   KELSO: That’s good, Fez. But I think it’s gonna be more like this...   He looks up, the camera tracks in, and we transition to:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   FANTASY SEQUENCE. The Vista Cruiser comes into park. A grinning Eric steps out in full Luke Skywalker costume, complete with lightsaber. A thoroughly done Donna, in Leia costume and hair, steps out from the passenger’s side.   ERIC: Thanks for going with me to the Star Wars convention – Leia.   DONNA: You can call me Donna now.   Without another word, she walks down the street.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   Back to reality. Kelso grins at his scenario, as does everyone but Eric.   HYDE: Nah, man. You’re both wrong. Actually, it’s gonna go like this...   He and Jackie look up, the camera tracks in, and we transition to:   EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY – DAY   FANTASY SEQUENCE. The Vista Cruiser comes into park. A grinning Eric steps out in full Luke Skywalker costume, complete with lightsaber. A thoroughly done KITTY, in Leia costume and hair, steps out from the passenger’s side.   ERIC: Thanks for going with me to the Star Wars convention – Leia.   KITTY: You can call me Mom now.   Without another word, she heads back into the house.   CUT TO:   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   Back to reality. Hyde and Jackie nod along to the scenario, as does everyone but Eric, who scrambles over the back of the couch.   ERIC: Whoa!   DONNA: Eric, they’re joking around. It’s funny.   ERIC: No, Donna, it’s not funny! In fact – it’s completely  possible!   He turns and races up the stairs.

MAIN CREDITS   ***   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - DAY   The next day. The guys play cards while Donna reads in the lawn chair. Hyde, Eric, and Fez share the couch while Kelso sits backwards in Hyde’s chair.   KELSO: (to Eric) So, gonna be a chiropractor, huh? All right, every chick patient that you have, you have to tell her the problem is her tailbone. That way, you get to grab around on her butt.   ERIC: Kelso, I’m doing this ‘cause I wanna help people. A handful of ass is just a perk.   The basement door opens and Jackie enters, box in hand.   JACKIE: Hello, everyone. It is I, the light of all your lives and the newest arrival to the glorious world of adulthood. (sets box on coffee table) Michael, I remember how much you like playing with my equestrian figurine collection, so since I’m a mature woman now, these are for you.   Fez reaches inside the box and lifts up a plastic toy horse. The guys all glare at Kelso, who shifts in his chair.   JACKIE (cont’d): God, I cannot wait to graduate tomorrow. Classes are done and I finally know everything. Now it’s nothing but dinner parties, LoPP fundraisers, summers in Morocco, holidays in Paris...   DONNA: Um, what about earning a degree, paying the bills, finding a place to live – you know, the responsibilities of being an adult?   JACKIE: Okay, Donna, you’re forgetting one very important difference between most people and me – I grew up rich. I get things.   Donna rolls her eyes as Jackie crosses to sit on the back of the couch behind Hyde.   Kitty enters from the staircase, a newspaper in hand.   KITTY: Michael, I circled some apartment listings for you and Fez. (to the gang) I found a great apartment for Janet Myers after her divorce. It has a murphy bed for when her kids come to visit. They never do. She’s in AA.   She exits up the stairs.   Kelso reviews the circled listings.   KELSO: Look at all these places for rent. I hope we can find one that’s got everything my baby needs.   FEZ: Oh, Kelso, you’re always putting me first.   KELSO: Not you, moron! Betsy, my daughter. It’s amazing how one tiny person has changed my life so much.   FEZ: You changed mine, too.   Kelso’s out of insults; he just gives Fez a long stare.   ***   INT. FORMAN KITCHEN – DAY   The next morning – the day of Jackie’s graduation, before school. She and Hyde eat breakfast on the island as RED, Kitty, Fez, and Kelso do the same at the table. Breakfast is eggs for everyone, with plates of toast and sausages in the middle. With one sausage left, Red and Fez both reach for it with their forks. Fez takes it.   FEZ: Too slow, old man.   KELSO: Fez, if you’re not polite, he’s gonna figure out you’re living here.   Red drops his fork and glares at Fez.   RED: You’re living here?   KELSO: Oh, great. You blew it, Fez!   KITTY: Red, he has nowhere else to go.   Red stands.   RED: (to Fez) Well, know this, Pele: you gotta sleep some time. And during the war, when they were sleeping – that’s when I got ‘em.   He exits out the patio door.   KITTY: (to Fez) Well, that wasn’t too bad. He called you “Pele.” He is a terrific soccer player.   She takes her plate, stands, and crosses to the sink.   Fez and Kelso lean in toward each other.   FEZ: What do we do now?   KELSO: I don’t know, man. That apartment was the only one we’ve found that’ll work for you, me, and Betsy.   FEZ: We could try that room above the barber shop.   KELSO: No, we can’t.   FEZ: Why not?   KELSO: Because there’s no way Mr. Lucania’s gonna let out a room to the guy he found hiding in his daughter’s closet. Or the guy he found in her bed. With her. Five times, senior year.   Jackie, who has been watching and listening with Hyde throughout the scene, sits up straight.   JACKIE: Wow. You guys are really struggling with all those adult responsibilities Donna was talking about. And Michael, you’re good-looking, but it doesn’t seem like it’s helping you at all.   KELSO: Yeah. I’m afraid you’re gonna find as you get out into the real world that there are some things a bitchin’ bod just won’t fix.   JACKIE: (gasps) Oh, God!   She clasps a hand over her mouth. Kelso nods gravely and turns back to his conversation with Fez.   ***   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY   Still morning, still before school. THE BRADY BUNCH plays on the TV. Hyde sits in his chair with Jackie in his lap while Donna remains on the couch, her neck still crooked. Eric retrieves a popsicle from the deep freeze and moves to join her on the couch.   ERIC: (to Donna) How’re you doing, my little buttercup?   DONNA: Great. The Brady Bunch is so much funnier sideways.   JACKIE: Oh, God, Eric, you ruined her. Donna can’t even stand up straight now. And that’s real important for a lumberjack.   ERIC: Hey, it’s not that bad. I’m sure chiropractor Forman can tend to my crooked little flower here.   DONNA: You know, Eric, calling me cute little nicknames doesn’t make up for what you did.   ERIC: Hey, whatever you say, my little crazy straw.   JACKIE: Wow, this disaster just came out of nowhere, didn’t it? I mean, one minute Donna’s fine, the next some scrawny would-be quack’s turned her into a human pretzel. And Eric – Eric thought he found a career he’d be good at, which he obviously isn’t. (to Hyde) What if my TV show goes the same way? What if I’m no good? Or what if something awful happens to me out of nowhere, like a car crash or a gray hair? Donna was right – there is a downside to being an adult. Why was I in such a rush to grow up? I’m so short, I could’ve kept passing for a kid for years if I hadn’t talked such a big game about becoming an adult!   HYDE: Look, Jackie -   JACKIE: No, Steven! The graduation ceremony is in three hours, and I’ve just realized I’m not ready at all! I can’t do this!   She lets out a scream and dashes into Hyde’s room.   HYDE: (to Eric) Red still got that crowbar in the garage? ‘Cause that’s the only way we’re getting her out of there.   Eric gives a sarcastic shrug as Donna rolls her eyes.   ***   INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT   That evening. Eric sits on the back of the couch on one end, Fez sits in the seat on the other, and Kelso sits in the lawn chair.   KELSO: Well, Red convinced Fenton to give us the apartment!   He and Fez share a low five.   FEZ: Yeah, and Red seemed so happy. All the way home, he just kept looking at us and laughing.   KELSO: Yeah, I’m pretty sure Red told Fenton that we knew a lot of chicks, ‘cause Fenton kept checking me out, like he could tell that I knew a lot of chicks.   The door opens, and BOB leads Donna inside. Her neck is still crooked.   BOB:  Eric, I can’t believe that you crippled my angel, my pride and joy. It kills me, seeing her like this.   ERIC: Then why are you bringing her over here?   BOB: Oh, I got a date. I met a lady at the open house. She’s got crow’s feet, but she works in the sandwich shop, so I bent the rules.   He exits. Donna crosses to sit by Eric on the couch.   ERIC: Look, Donna, I’m so sorry about what happened. You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think I ever really wanted to be a chiropractor. I was just, you know, grasping at straws.   DONNA: I’d nod in agreement, but... you know, I’m paralyzed.   KELSO: Eric, you know what I’m realizing about you? You’re not good at anything.   FEZ: That’s not true, Kelso. Don’t forget butt-wiping.   ERIC: Oh, you know, just once, it’d be nice if, after you get all your burns in, you guys actually tried to help. I mean, that’s what I do. I mean, I’m the one who was looking out for Hyde when his mom split. And Kelso, I was your math tutor in high school. And Fez, remember when you wanted to learn how to kiss, and I taught you by sticking M&Ms to the mirror?   Donna and Kelso’s jaws drop. They look to Fez, who shifts in his seat.   FEZ: That never happened. I know how to kiss. Ah, shut it, Eric!   DONNA: (to Eric) You know, the only reason you ended up stuck like this was because your one chance to go away to college, you gave up to take care of your family after your dad got sick. You really do try to help.   ERIC: And I love doing it. I wish that could be a career.   DONNA: Right. You just need a career that combines a desire to help people with a high tolerance for irrational and childish behavior.   ERIC:  Or... just children. Just kids. Like at a school. Like a schoolteacher. Guys, I think I could make a good teacher!   Before he can elaborate any further, the basement door flies open. Hyde enters, carrying Jackie in his arms. She has on a graduation cap and gown, carries her diploma in her hand, and wears a massive, spacey grin.   JACKIE: Hello, adulthood! I’m Jackie Burkhart, and I’m ready for ya!   DONNA: Hey, looks like someone got over her little panic episode.   HYDE: Well, after you left, I went to talk to her and told her everything was gonna be fine and she was ready for graduation. But that didn’t work, so I broke out my best stuff. She’s been flying ever since.   Jackie sweeps out her hand holding her diploma, pops one foot out, and kisses Hyde on the cheek.   HYDE (cont’d): You should’ve seen her give the valedictorian address.   DONNA: Jackie, you’re not your class valedictorian.   HYDE: That’s why you should’ve seen it.   ERIC: That’s great, Jackie. You know what? This has just been a great day all around. Jackie graduated, Kelso and Fez found an apartment, and I’ve decided I’m gonna be a teacher. That’s right, you are looking at a future Mr. Forman.   JACKIE: Mr. Forman? Oh, well –   She swings herself down from Hyde’s arms and stumbles over to Eric. She steadies herself by slapping a hand down on his shoulder.   JACKIE (cont’d): Since I’ve already graduated, I can tell you now – my last essay? Yeah, everything in it, I stole from Donna doing the same assignment last year.   As well as she can, Donna turns to give Jackie an incredulous look.   JACKIE (cont’d): Hey, I’ve got my diploma, I’ve got a TV show, I am woman, and I’m ready for more!   Eric, grinning, shakes his head. Donna, Fez, and Kelso chuckle. Hyde also shakes his head and walks over to lead Jackie to his chair.   FADE TO BLACK

[mille-marteaux]

[T-A-C] Marte: how delirious do we need to get you in order to write a maid tier list

@t-a-c​ never ask me for anything ever again (you may feel free to ask me for things in the future.)

I will be rating the maids that I know of on the following criteria, on a baseline scale of 1-10:

Are they actually a maid: A yes or no question. If they are not actually a maid then they are disqualified but will still get ratings anyway because it makes the list funnier.

Modesty: How reasonable their maid uniform is. The "sexier" the costume is, the lower the score.

Professionalism: How they behave while on the job. The more they flirt with/actively torment/etc their employer, the lower the score.

Competence: How good they actually are at performing domestic tasks, such as cooking and cleaning. The worse they are, the lower the score.

Combat proficiency: How effective they are in battle. The more of a liability they would be in a fight, the lower the score.

Devotion: How devoted they are to their employer. The more disinterested they are, the lower the score.

Extra input: A miscellaneous category that does not award points, but is more room for my own observations and extra opinions.

I will be going down the line from series that I know about. I do not actually actively seek out maid content - it mostly finds me. But I'm bored, so whatever. (Don't expect to see Rem on this list because I never watched Re:Zero.)

i am not inserting images as i’ve already spent two and a half hours on this fucking awful post like three people are going to read. find images yourself

PHANTASY STAR ONLINE 2 This game has at least one maid.

LUCOTTE IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 5/10 (despite being an android, she still expresses herself with a "sexy" maid-like design) PROFESSIONALISM: 8/10 (she is very serious about what she does but is a little eager to dote on others) COMPETENCE: 5/10 (seems decent enough at chores but will break brooms using them as weapons) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (trainer NPC for the Etoile class; helps all Etoiles grow stronger) DEVOTION: 10/10 (loves her friends and all her peers and will protect them with her life) OTHER NOTES: checked my vibes when we were introduced to her and basically made me admit that i do, in fact, like maids to some extent

THE AVERAGE ARKS MEMBER WEARING A MAID COSTUME IS A MAID: No MODESTY: Anywhere from 3-10 PROFESSIONALISM: Anywhere from 0-10 COMPETENCE: Anywhere from 0-10 COMBAT PROFICIENCY: Anywhere from 1-10 DEVOTION: Anywhere from 0-10 OTHER NOTES: putting on a frilly dress does not automatically make you a maid. spend money on your gear instead of trying to seduce others

==================

PUELLA MAGI MADOKA MAGICA Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you god damn it son of a fucking bitch fuck you

MELISSA IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 10/10 (very tasteful uniform and magical girl costume) PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 (she does maid things and treats everyone with respect) COMPETENCE: i don't remember. like at least a 8/10. it's been a while since event ran and i don't feel like reading it for this list COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 0/10 normally, 9/10 if contracted and transformed. her personal memoria implies she got darc killed at least once due to being on the front lines and not as a magical girl DEVOTION: 10/10 (she will take an arrow for darc without hesitation if she has to but darc would take the arrow first) OTHER NOTES: the first magireco event character i uncapped and four-slotted

KANAGI IZUMI IS A MAID: No (she works part-time in a maid cafe; otherwise is not a domestic worker.) MODESTY: 6/10 (as her work uniform is a "sexy" maid costume it scores lower than usual, but it could be much less modest) PROFESSIONALISM: 5/10 (she treats all customers with respect but does not behave in the cutesy bubbly way you'd expect a maid cafe employee to behave) COMPETENCE: 9/10 (excellent worker; but accidentally messed up a ketchup drawing once) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (is a veteran magical girl) DEVOTION: 0/10 (she does not put any love into anything she does and is only a part-time worker) OTHER NOTES: AABBC is a good disc loadout

==================

GRANBLUE FANTASY oh you know it has maids

DOROTHY IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 10/10 (wears an actual proper maid dress) PROFESSIONALISM: 8/10 (has a few... moments. professionalism drops to 2/10 when near MC) COMPETENCE: 10/10 (is very good at her job) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: (8/10; is only held back by game mechanics. 10/10 when paired with claudia) DEVOTION: 15/10 (she will kill a man for her employer) OTHER NOTES:

CLAUDIA IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 10/10 (also wears an actual proper maid dress similar to dorothy) PROFESSIONALISM: 7/10 (is fond of napping on the job. would be 8/10 but she loses one point for flashing her thigh during a combat tournament battle to distract and defeat her opponent.) COMPETENCE: 10/10 (is very good at her job) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: (7/10; is only held back by game mechanics. has a slightly worse kit than dorothy as her big damage skill can miss. 10/10 when paired with dorothy) DEVOTION: 10/10 (she will break a few legs for her employer if needed but is lacking in empathy for non-employers) OTHER NOTES: she scares me

==================

AZUR LANE whY ARE THERE SO MANY MAIDS IN THE ROYAL NAVY

BELFAST IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 5/10 (while her skirt is fine, her top is minuscule and requires copious amounts of fashion tape) PROFESSIONALISM: 2/10 (she sees the commander sleeping once and decides to move their head onto her lap so they awaken to a lap pillow, just to see how they react) COMPETENCE: 10/10 (despite everything, she is very good at her job) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (goes to 14/10 if equipped with a HE gun) DEVOTION: 10/10 OTHER NOTES: she is not as lusty as the fandom would like to make her out to be but she would still jump the commander's bones in a heartbeat if given consent to do so

EDINBURGH IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 7.5/10 (her maid uniform is more akin to a maid cafe costume than a proper domestic worker uniform, but isn't offensively alluring like SOME OTHER PEOPLE in this section of the list) PROFESSIONALISM: 6/10 (she's doing her best) COMPETENCE: 0/10 (do not trust her with actual tasks) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (goes to 13/10 if equipped with an AP gun) DEVOTION: 10/10 (she's doing her best) OTHER NOTES: she's doing her best

GLASGOW IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 8.5/10 (it's not perfectly modest but it's much more modest than SOME OTHER PEOPLE in this section) PROFESSIONALISM: 9/10 (she reads during active secretary work if she thinks nobody is around) COMPETENCE: 9/10 (seems good enough) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 9/10 (is held back by lower stats due to lower card rarity) DEVOTION: 10/10 (even if she hates the commander, she will continue to do work just fine) OTHER NOTES: i do not know anything about this character and only just read her lines about five minutes ago as of the time of writing this assessment

GLOUCESTER IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 7/10 (while the majority of her uniform is fine, she loses three points for the strange underbust window in her blouse that seems to be entirely there to distract perverts) PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 (she will scold the commander for staring at maids instead of focusing on their work) COMPETENCE: 10/10 (as expected of one of these maids at this point, i imagine) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (i am running out of witty comments. i will stop making them here unless i have something funny to say) DEVOTION: 10/10 (will continue to work even if she dislikes the commander but will refuse to speak to them) OTHER NOTES: did albert design her uniform or something

NEWCASTLE IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 6/10 (looks more akin to a maid cafe uniform than a domestic worker uniform) PROFESSIONALISM: 2/10 (very friendly and flirty. easy to get along with) COMPETENCE: 10/10 COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 8/10 (loses a point for rarity, another for having anti-air mode in her kit) DEVOTION: 10/10 OTHER NOTES: friend

SHEFFIELD IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 10/10 (finally a normal uniform) PROFESSIONALISM: 9/10 (while normally curt, she loses a point because of a distressingly weird scene in the anime where she nonchalantly flashes her peers during underwear discussion) COMPETENCE: 9/10 (loses one point due to being trigger happy) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 DEVOTION: 0/10 (rises to 2/10 when oathed) OTHER NOTES: wow i don't trust her at all actually

SIRIUS IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 2/10 (this is just getting ridiculous) PROFESSIONALISM: 0/10 (it appears everything she knows about being a maid she learned from pornography) COMPETENCE: 7/10 (despite everything, she's still relatively good at her work) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 DEVOTION: 15/10 (a little too devoted) OTHER NOTES: you have likely seen fanart and pornography of her without even knowing who she is

DIDO IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 1.5/10 (imagine albert designed a maid cafe uniform and you have dido) PROFESSIONALISM: 3/10 (she has severe anxiety issues that get in the way of her behavior but is at least not actively trying to jump the commander's bones) COMPETENCE: 9/10 (is good enough at her job that her anxiety makes her think she's being ignored because she isn't being watched all the time) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 DEVOTION: 30/10 (this is fed into due to her anxiety and fear of being abandoned) OTHER NOTES: albert really should not be allowed to design outfits

CURACOA IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 8/10 (drops to 3/10 after retrofit) OTHER NOTES: it's incredible how little i seem to care about her and curlew

CURLEW IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 8/10 (drops to 2/10 after retrofit; lower score than curacoa as she is in a more seductive pose) OTHER NOTES: see curacoa and replace "curlew" with "curacoa"

HMS NEPTUNE (not to be mistaken with HDN NEPTUNE) IS A MAID: No (she is a waitress) MODESTY: 6.5/10 (her uniform is very flashy and alluring) PROFESSIONALISM: 0/10 (she will regularly ask the commander to get on their knees and beg to her for a good reward) COMPETENCE: ??/10 (she does not seem to actually do domestic tasks) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 12/10 (rises to 17/10 if equipped with an AP gun) DEVOTION: 10/10 (she will devote herself to the commander but may also attempt to monopolize them; use extreme caution) OTHER NOTES: i'm fucking stupid. make of this comment what you will

==================

FIRE EMBLEM fire emblem fates was a mistake

FELICIA IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 7/10 (the nohrian maid outfit is nice but still a little fetishy with its short skirt and stockings making it resemble a cafe maid outfit more than a domestic worker uniform) PROFESSIONALISM: 6/10 (she's trying) COMPETENCE: 0/10 (not very effectively) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (while a bumbling fool in domestic chores, she's skilled martially) DEVOTION: 10/10 (she will follow you even if you decide to defect from nohr) OTHER NOTES: heroes introduced me to her and i bought conquest to have her hit things in a good game and also to marry her

FLORA IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 7/10 (see felicia) PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 (much more curt) COMPETENCE: 10/10 (she tends to have to fix felicia's mistakes) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 9/10 (skilled in battle but not as skilled as felicia is) DEVOTION: 10/10 (she normally would lose a point because she'd kill you if cornered but that's entirely garon's fault so she is excused) OTHER NOTES: i reinstalled heroes to roll for her and got her so i still have it installed

THE GENERIC NPC NOHRIAN MAID IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 7/10 (see felicia and flora) PROFESSIONALISM: ??/10 COMPETENCE: ??/10 COMBAT PROFICIENCY: anywhere from 5/10 to 15/10 depending on difficulty DEVOTION: 3/10 (if captured and bribed, they will join your army) OTHER NOTES: i'm stupid

ANY CHARACTER RECLASSED INTO A MAID IS A MAID: No OTHER NOTES: putting on a frilly dress does not automatically make you a maid

==================

LOVE LIVE god fucKING damn it

KOTORI MINAMI IS A MAID: No (works part-time at a maid cafe) MODESTY: 10/10 (finally. some proper fucking maid uniforms after all this weird fetish stuff) PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 (falls to 0/10 if her peers are present) COMPETENCE: 10/10 (earned a nickname with "legendary" in the title due to how well she serves her customers) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: ??/10 (MIERNO "IDOLA" - VOLPHORNO playing loudly in the distance) DEVOTION: 9/10 (her customers usually come first but she loses a point for trying to flee work when discovered by her peers) OTHER NOTES: use extreme caution

EVERY OTHER CHARACTER IN THE SERIES THAT HAS A MAID-THEMED CARD IN THE MOBILE GAME(S) IS A MAID: No OTHER NOTES: SHUT UP DERX LEAVE ME ALONE

==================

TOUHOU PROJECT

RUUKOTO IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 10/10 PROFESSIONALISM: ??/10 (has no spoken dialogue nor personality to go off of) COMPETENCE: 0/10 (is noted to be bad at performing domestic tasks) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: ??/10 (is nuclear powered; while she could be harboring massive latent powers she poses a huge risk if she were to detonate) DEVOTION: 10/10 (is a good noodle) OTHER NOTES: she is probably my blog mascot in another timeline

SAKUYA IZAYOI IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 8/10 (while mostly fine, she still has a rather short skirt in the fighting games) PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 COMPETENCE: 8/10 (loses a point for every time she lost to the mc during the events of eosd; gains a point for running the mc off if playing on easy) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 DEVOTION: 10/10 OTHER NOTES: alice's quicksilver is more fun to use than marisa's thousand knives but is infinitely worse for speedrunning so you never see it

YUMEKO IS A MAID: Yes MODESTY: 10/10 PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 COMPETENCE: 9/10 (loses a point for losing to the mc during the events of mystic square) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (throws swords) DEVOTION: 10/10 OTHER NOTES: superior maid

==================

HYPERDIMENSION NEPTUNIA

FINANCIER IS A MAID: No MODESTY: 10/10 PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 COMPETENCE: ??/10 (is not actually a maid) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: ??/10 (has not been playable DEVOTION: ??/10 (i think she was evil in the original neptunia and then was good in the re:birth series) OTHER NOTES: cute

==================

HONORABLE MENTION AS I TYPED THIS UP AND REALIZED ANGEL MORT IS A RESTAURANT, NOT A MAID CAFE, BUT DO NOT WISH TO REMOVE THE WORK I PUT INTO THE SECTION:

HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI SHION SONOZAKI IS A MAID: No (works part time at a maid cafe) MODESTY: 3/10 (this isn't even a maid costume anymore) PROFESSIONALISM: 10/10 COMPETENCE: 10/10 (is almost indistinguishable from mion when she tries) COMBAT PROFICIENCY: 10/10 (is trained in handling firearms due to her family connections) DEVOTION: 10/10 (she is a good noodle in a bad situation) OTHER NOTES: higurashi was among the first anime i watched and was a powerful formative experience on me

[geejaysmith]

Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.

Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went

Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)

Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers

Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck

Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious

Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death

Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough

Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No

Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh

Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts

Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps

Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl

Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense

Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations

Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition

Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me

Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off

Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else

Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about

Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages

Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.

Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad

Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."

Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo

============

Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did

Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair

Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case

Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates

Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes

Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)

Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide

Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented

Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her

Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec

Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him

Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances

Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)

Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.

Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions

Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time

Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in

Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that

Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family

Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them

Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night

Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience

[isaackuo]

Starco Week5 Wrap-up!

This week was really fun! It was nice for someone to actually see the silly comics I draw! Normally, hardly anyone even notices so I rarely put in the effort of a multi-panel comic.

Here are links and explanations to my Starco Week 5 comics:

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185176588866/awkward

The one that started it all for me! I actually didn’t even notice there was a Wedding prompt later in the week. I just saw a post about “Awkward Dating Moments” and the Kellco shipper in me thought of a cute little comic that MAXIMIZED STARCO AWKWARDNESS.

So I thought, why not? It was only 3 little panels, and it mostly involved me drawing Kelly - who I find easy to draw. And I thought it was freaking hilarious.

EXPLANATION:

This comic refers to Booth Buddies, a “memorable” episode among us Starco shippers. In it, Kelly and Marco are on a wedding date, until Star Butterfly yoinks Marco away to the infamous photo booth. Then things get a little weird. In this comic, Kelly gets back by yoinking Marco to be her breakup buddy “booth buddy”, when Marco and Star are on a “wedding date” ...

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185223809716/yeah-im-a-bad-boy-princess

This one was the toughest for me, and also the weakest. I don’t follow AUs and I’m not used to thinking in terms of AUs. I tried to study the Bad Boy AU a bit, but I couldn’t think of any funny jokes for it. Honestly, I just went with the first idea I finally thought of which was vaguely funny.

EXPLANATION:

This comic references a few of the “bad” things canon Star actually did:

1) Trash a cop car in Star vs Echo Creek

2) Shoot a cop chopper out of the sky in Sad Teen Hotline

3) Murder the MHC in Cleaved

But “nice” AU Star wouldn’t do that stuff, right? So Bad Boy Marco picks up the slack for her. So ... it’s funny? I dunno, I think my sense of humor is too obtuse a lot of the time. You really need to be in deep with the show to even remember the stuff I’m referencing and make the connections?

I guess either you “get it” or ... oh well.

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185220760531/starco-snugs

Haha, this one was “controversial”. I mean ... if you read my stuff then you know I think Star was addicted to the thrill of having both Marco and Tom, the same way Marco was addicted to the thrill of two timing with Star and Hekapoo (in Night Life). I think this was cute and tragi-comic, and it’s one of my favorite parts of Star Butterfly’s character. Let her have her distinctive flaws, okay?

But apparently this also cuts a bit too close to home, since it’s one of the things hardcore Tom stans criticize Star for (both the character and the show).

Anyways ... while everyone else was going sweet lovey-dovey, I went a bit freaky. I mean ... I think of this as romantic, but maybe I’m just weird that way. Like ... just imagine. Marco Diaz consoling Star every night for breaking up with Tom, and then he gets hit by “Mind Eraser” so he gets to do it again tomorrow. Isn’t that romantic?

EXPLANATION:

This comic is based on the “Mind Eraser” spell Eclipsa teaches Moon in Total Eclipsa the Moon. It’s one of my favorite spells to make jokes around, because it’s basically the flashy thing from Men in Black.

So I ponder ... what if Star really went all out using “Mind Eraser” and she went completely nuts taking advantage of it on Marco Diaz? Okay, in Here to Help, Star rushed to skip the awkward talky talky stuff and went straight for a kiss first. Maybe she’s used to it because she’s had the confession talk with Marco dozens of times already?

Oh, I also snuck in a joke referring to how Tom didn’t let Star kiss him on the lips after they broke up. As such, the only actual Tomstar kiss shown was the Lava Lake Beach kiss Marco saw from a distance. A bit mean to the Tomstar shippers, don’t you think?

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185256268271/when-is-this-state-going-to-end-starco-road

Road Trip was a challenge for me. I wanted to minimize drawing effort since my arm was sore, but I also wanted to depict a long amount of time. So I was thinking of them taking turns driving, but I switched to a bicycle based on Honey and Clover. Using a bicycle also allowed posing them in cute ways not available with a car, so it all worked out!

I was also thinking to try and cram in a joke about Star not being able to just use magic - using the Thor reaction gif to Steve Rogers not having the internet to look up the weather meme ... but ultimately it just didn’t fit. Also, I wanted to minimize drawing effort.

EXPLANATION:

Not much going on here - there’s really only one joke. But the cuteness of Star slumping on Marco really sells this one. Apparently, everyone else also thought so, since this ended up being pretty popular.

Oh, I suppose the sheer absurdity of doing an interstate bicycle trip eastward from the California coast is also a bit funny.

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185303660951/isaackuo-sword-fight-club-xover-double-fight

I initially struggled with this prompt. I mean ... crossover double date? It’s just weird to me. How do they even know each other? How did they meet? It makes no sense?

Well, a classic Douglas Adams writing trick is to take what you’re stuck on and turn it around. And so I did. How do they even know each other? THEY DON’T. It’s just some random “Fight Club App” meetup. Once I had that epiphany, it was a matter of figuring out what couple would be the funniest to fight ...

EXPLANATION:

I’m proud of all the jokes I packed in here. Of course, we start off with the fact that this “date” is a random “Fight Club App” thing. Not only that, but it’s a Sword Fight Club. Like that’s a thing. You’re just going to randomly fight some strangers with swords. Like you’re in freaking Highlander except there’s no Prize or whatever.

But it’s funny because getting into some random fights is indeed the sort of thing Star and Marco would do for a fun date! Same with Steven and Connie, really (although this is more along the lines of Steven and Amethyst wrt Tiger Millionaire).

Then there’s the fact that Marco Diaz wore baby Mariposa to a sword fight. Who even does that? Oh right ... Queen Solaria and Queen Eclipsa. Which fandom didn’t question at all ... we just thought it was cute.

Star’s “We’re fighting kids?” is a reference to Alone Together, when Kevin freaks out that Stevonnie is actually two kids.

Marco is okay with fighting a kid, since his Season 1 karate nemesis was 8 year old Jeremy Birnbaum (remember him?).

The slit eyes Mariposa give Steven are based on the way baby Meteora looks at Marco.

Connie’s right - Star and Marco are 15 ... not all that much older than she is. But Star has been through a lot of serious stuff making her grow up young. She has lost touch with what teenagers even do (as she noted in Cornonation).

Star’s shocked at Steven’s age the same way Connie was shocked when she learned Steven’s age.

Even though Steven’s age disconnect is caused by wibbly wobbly gem hybrid growth rates, Marco assumes it’s because he “Did time in the Neverzone”. I had fun rewording that phrase until it implied something like doing a prison sentence.

The final kicker is baby Mariposa revealing she’s almost as old as Connie. This calls up fandom mixed feelings about Neverzone age ambiguity and what the heck this implies after Gone Baby Gone. And I mean ... you all saw it coming, right? You knew baby Mariposa had to be there for a reason, right? It’s funny because you see it coming a mile away.

Needless to say, this one is the one I’m most proud of. I had so much fun writing and rewriting it in my head until it was perfect! The only bad thing is that you need to be pretty familiar with both Star vs the Forces of Evil and Steven Universe to get all the jokes. But hey ... my sense of humor is obtuse like that.

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185295564211/the-honey-moon-ball-starco-wedding-prompt

This was another tough one. I already blew my best wedding joke on Day 1, and I didn’t even notice there was a Wedding Day prompt at the time!

I struggled and struggled to come up with anything. So I just latched onto the first joke I came up with. In lieu of good jokes, I tried to sell this one with sweet cute character art showing Tom being dashing and Starco being lovey dovey. Still ... this is one of my weaker ones.

EXPLANATION:

Obviously this is based on the Blood Moon Ball/Curse, but this time Tom’s hitting them with a different curse - the Honey Moon Curse.

As we find out in Curse of the Blood Moon, Star didn’t pay attention to the MC and she thought the Blood Moon light was just a fun party light. So in this comic, she’s just obliviously caressing Marco while he questions what Tom means.

I initially thought of Tom explaining that he was confused about what Marco had previously meant when he said he wanted a “honeymoon”. But then, I thought it would be funnier if it’s simply ambiguous whether or not Tom is being spiteful or a silly practical joker or what. Sometimes it’s funnier when there’s a psychological tension - you don’t know what Tom’s thinking/feeling.

https://isaackuo.tumblr.com/post/185313724836/toy-star-starco-week-5-prompt-au-of-choice

Another one which was initially tough for me. I’m just not familiar with AUs, so I knew I’d have to make up my own. But what? Nothing clicked until ... TOY STORY! After that stroke of brilliance, there were too many ideas. The hard part was paring things down into a manageable short comic.

I’m most proud of the INSANE look of Princess Star tapping her Wand at Diaz. And also the Pony Head box for Princess Star.

Anyway, the great thing about Toy Star is that I didn’t need to fill in much detail in order for the reader to imagine a whole world around it. I mean ... we all know and love Toy Story. It’s part of our cultural consciousness. So it’s really easy to imagine some fun enemies-to-buddies story just from a few suggestions.

EXPLANATION:

The boxed Princess Star bonking Diaz off the bed is actually not quite how it happened in Toy Story. But close enough! (We don’t actually get to see the majesty of a boxed Buzz Lightyear until Toy Story 2.)

Princess Star has ball jointed arms similar to Buzz Lightyear while Diaz is a flexible stuffed doll like Woody. I left off “Butterfly” because “Princess Star” feels more self centered and self important.

Diaz is named “Diaz” just to make Jackie’s line sound more intimate and personal.

Mermaid Jackie is, of course, a reference to the popular fan theory that Jackie was a mermaid. This “Sunny Atlantis” mermaid is a reference to the Pixar short Knick Knack. She’s an aquarium decoration, rather than a toy. This is a reference to how Woody’s girlfriend Bo Peep was also not a toy (she was a lamp).

The mermaid in Knick Knack has shades rather than eyes. So that’s why mermaid Jackie is lifting up shades to look down toward Diaz.

The panel where Diaz is getting out from under Adam’s bed is directly based on a Toy Story screenshot. The original does have a cactus pictured on the bedspread. I thought it would be kinda funny if it’s ambiguous what sort of “cactuses” broke Diaz’s fall.

The “must be some mistake” panel is also directly based on a Toy Story screenshot.

Princess Star immediately trying to Narwhal Blast Diaz indicates she’s even crazier than Buzz Lightyear. Buzz merely shifted around pointing his laser arm at Woody. Oh - the “psycho” look in her face really sells this, I think.

The fact that Princess Star is somehow aware she has to tap the button on her wand to activate it is ... well I think it’s funny. (The button placement, of course, is plainly designed for human use.)

Princess Star requesting a nearby Quest Buy is a reference to Quest Buy, the episode where they go to Quest Buy to buy a wand charger. “Or do you still use Plutonium” is a reference to Buzz’s technobabble “distolic fusion” ... but I thought the use of real world “Plutonium” would give the joke a bit more kick (sort of a Back to the Future reference also).

Diaz answering “we’ve got double-A’s” is a reference to Toy Story where Woody says the same thing.

“Look, new friend,” is something Star Butterfly would say, but with a flat attitude more like Buzz Lightyear. This indicates Princess Star has a bit different personality than canon Star Butterfly. It fits in more with Toy Story, helping the reader imagine how this Starco relationship will play out.

“Multiverse High Command” is a mashup of “Magical High Commission” and “Star Command”. The threat of the multiverse being destroyed is something Queen Moon warns Star in Star Comes to Earth. The spiel where Princess Star explains her mission is similar to Buzz Lightyear explaining his mission. Presumably, it’s written on her Ponyhead box. Again, all this stuff helps the reader imagine how this Starco relationship will play out.

Diaz’s “You’re a toy” is, of course, a reference to Woody trying to explain to Buzz Lightyear that he’s just a toy.

“I believe the term you’re looking for is ‘Magical Princess from Another Dimension’“ refers to a similar Buzz Lightyear line, as well as how canon Star introduces herself to Marco Diaz in Star Comes to Earth.

But really ... there are SO many memorable Toy Story lines that cramming in references is like shooting fish in a barrel. Too easy! But still fun!

Of all the silly ideas I put out there for Starco Week 5, Toy Star is perhaps the one which has gotten some interest. It’s begging to be fleshed out. I welcome anyone to do whatever they want with it!

And again, a big thanks to everyone who read my stuff, followed, reblogged, and such! Especially, of course, @starco-week

[waterlinkedgirl]

Shinteni ch. 262-264 liveblog

In which I basically half (3/4) translate the chapter and half (1/4) point out the things I like. There are maybe slightly easier to follow if you have the scans by hand, which *are* in fact online by now (just do a jp search for jump square issue 6 ^^) I def plan on making this a thing btw! So without further ado, let’s get to it! (quick note before we start, I abbreviate Oswald Delon’s name as Os, so don’t get confused!) Long post below the cut.

I'm amused that Momo goes 'whoa he can even duplicate himself more than Eiji-senpai' esp since we had an another story ova with... slightly more duplications syjsrthstgstgh but that's not conform the manga, so it's cool

I feel this reminds me of a certain kamehameha meme. So if you haven’t guessed these are actually dolls and the mastermind is--

I’m laughing, Os did this in a certain Houkago too. OK SO THE QUESTION IS did Konomi make the houkago canon, or did he communicate the future developments to the houkago person

'hurry up and go clear the field of those dolls' you go, referee France is so deliciously extra

Yanagi's nose has power today

I still remain this is a very cool panel, like, man, look at that perspective. It’s interesting, because you don’t expect the ‘where did he go?!’ (above) trope to apply to tennis, yet here we are, hehe.

MUKAHI FEELS OFFENDED BY THE JUMP BTW (or impressed, but the latter is funnier)

so Sanada immediately uses rai on the shot Os put perfectly on the baseline, Os immediately knows to use the underside of the racket, however Sanada also immediately pulls one dragon strike that'sa  lot of head-on, hahaha Sanada has balls! (and makes a pun on them echoing the technique Os used earlier) Whereas Os... Uh, good luck srtjhsrtgshrtfg it's kind of cute how Os mangles his jp but Sanada also, in hiragana, addresses him as ‘ojaaru’ when you’d expect him to use the proper name instead of the nickname.

I've kind of missed that smirk

it's fun how Momo and Eiji get shown twice to be amazed and point, basically confirming Os as the acrobatic rascal player.

’Increasingly-More-Net no jutsu’ (thx, Holy ^^) Os what are you-- don't give me that 'With that the opponent will become aware of the net being higher than usual and make the ball go out,' random spectator, you don't. You don't get to put another net on the court xD

Sanada says he’s seen enough of this farce and Double Black Dragon strikes the ball in to make it 6-4 for Japan. Yukimura has a note in, saying that the opponent might be able to make full use of his various expressions of his ninjutsu tennis, but that with the current Sanada, finally after a long time put in singles again, none of them will work.

It’s never a good sign when the chapter title ‘ Revival of the Emperor’ drops immediately on the second page of the chapter, when Sanada’s ahead with 5-0.

ah, Os seems to have a breakdown about having practiced ninjutsu for (I presume) the past 12 years (either that or since he was 12 .-. I'm fuzzy) but saying it's impossible after all for a foreigner like himself to become a ninja To which Sanada tell him to pick up his racket-- and he tells him that “The act of dropping your blade before the battle is finished is against the bushido code!! In that, it does not matter whether you’re a foreigner or not.”

I feel like the sentence Os throws him in thanks could be interpreted as a pun by Konomi on Os’ nickname but my translation skills/ninspeak are insufficient to really trace it >.>

Tanegashima says that Sanada’s patience has really grown stronger. By only being chosen to play doubles, he's faced his own tennis head-on and reached an answer. When it comes to heart, body, and technique, if you combine them, he’ll lose to no-one.

After a tight rally, Sanada’s shot goes out, (while Os’ heart is racing like, ‘that was dangerous...!’) and the score is revealed to be 1-5 for France-- Os has taken a game. It’s Sanada’s serving game, and he’s serving for the match. (the note at the bottom of the panel explains that this is basically when you only have to keep your service game in order to win)

Oswald says in true shounen protagonist fashion) that for his grandma in the village, he’ll hit any number of shots back de ojaru (”But I thought ninjas always ended their sentences with de gozaru??” yes.)

But Sanada’s serve, of all things, goes out! Sanada tells himself he’s put too much power in, and yet, his serves keep going out and out, until it’s 2-5 France. Marui says he's never seen Sanada miss so many serves in a row before.

I agree, Yukimura.

--When we have a scene with Sanada correctly identifying the thing on Os’ racket being an elusive 290 gr Southern style Iron Paperweight Doll, to which it is Yanagi’s turn to nerd out;

“While not at all an expensive object, it’s a hard to obtain thing because of its popularity during its peak-- It’s what we too have always looked for”

Os is gracious and has two! So he says he’ll give one to him as a present de ojaru, Sanada accepts gratefully.

To which France tells us that it has finally started. Os’ scary style of tennis isn’t at all those flashy ninjutsu, but--

The ‘Gosha (lit. 5 vehicles) no jutsu’

Ohmagari recognizes it, and says this match might become dangerous after all.

(he’s grown up so fast ;v;)

Os returns the double Dragon Strike (on his own!)

(meanwhile, Yukimura is beautiful--) Kirihara yells that he must really be a ninja to be able to get to it, to which Yukimura responds with “No... There is doubt in Sanada’s shots.” And it becomes 5 all as Sanada’s shot hits the net.

Out once more, and Sanada rams his racket into the court in anger;

Kaidoh comes in with “what happened to ‘ishiki goryou, kannin juuryou’?” which extremely loosely means (Opinions are worth five, patience ten) that it’s important to listen to other people, but also to endure your anger and be patient (which... Sanada does not seem to be doing)

So we finally get the explanation for the ‘gosha no jutsu’ from Ohmagari; “It’s a most scary psychological skill with which you can cleverly control the opponent’s emotions; his feelings and heart.”

Translation by @imperfekti! “‘Kisha’ creates an opening by praising and flattering the opponent. ‘Dosha’ creates an opening by angering the opponent and making them lose their composure. ‘Aisha’ creates an opening by showing the opponent a piteous appearance and conduct, inviting sympathy. ‘Rakusha’ creates an opening by gifting them with something that attracts the opponent’s interest and using that weak point.” Kite: “…Oh? Isn’t one still missing, Oomagari-senpai…?” Osval: “Even though you fought and lost to Echizen-kun once… Isn’t it hard being S2 after him?” Oomagari: “And the most scary one is ‘Kyousha’… By conveying the realities the opponent doesn’t want to experience, and their worst predictions, breaking their fighting spirit.”

Yukimura’s hair is simultaneously too straight and too messy, haha.

The French themselves reveal that mr. PariColle was done in by ‘Rakusha,’ that even the prince fell happily to ‘Kisha,’ Jonathan himself to ‘Aisha’ thanks to that story about that fawn, and Edgard explains that ‘Dosha’ made him lose his temper and caused him to show an opening. Os makes a shot, and Sanada doesn’t reach for it at all. Camus, I presume, says that “He took all of them. It’s pitiful but this match...”

Unpredictable, like the shadow.

Sanada hits it back, in the lines. Os is unable to react.

Byoudouin makes a mental monologue about how Sanada was finally chosen for singles. And that, in order to defeat his opponent on the same battlefield, he had his blade drawn on the jutsu from the beginning. He was just pretending.

“It's the end. I will show you the philosophy of my tennis!”

Sanada was very cool in these chapters, haha! I was a bit worried that the match might be played for mostly comedic relief, as his opponent is literally a weeaboo, but I feel it’s good that Konomi used Oswald’s endearing appeal this way. Truly, the horrors of comedy tennis. (or at least, something that runs on the same principles, except a bit more detailed.) I’m not too sure how to feel about Sanada only pretending to have his balls go out, but I feel it should be a sign of Sanada having a good look at his own style of tennis. By simply not being affected, he could have nullified Oswald’s psychological game... but perhaps, he’d have shifted the battlefield to one more advantageous to him, and we know that Sanada dislikes to throw away a head-on battle. Even if, in this case, it causes him to be as dishonest as his opponent.

[wojtekbc]

Chain of Acheron ep 14 megapost.

I had this typed out before, but it got deleted because I forgot to save it last night. I’m really smart by the way. This will probably be shorter, as a result, because all of these are put on the list as I watch the episode and I can’t be fucked rewatching it right away. “Angel’s Report” is the best episode title next to “Red Sky at Morning.”

”Odie, deploy the parasol.” Slim and Leech’s scene? Precious. Anna’s notes are chaos manifest. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again; I kind of ship Judge and Boots, and I’m not even really Fandom Trash. Yes, I realise the irony in me saying that, on Tumblr, in a fandom tag that I make up like 80% of the posts in, but you get me. I just think their interactions are cute and even the way Matt talked about them in the campaign diary was sweet.

The knight with riding gloves pinned to his pauldron is 110% my AESTHETIC BITCH I LOVE DECORATION LIKE THAT. Angel’s report; I’m gonna have to write a full post about how much I love this but I like how it boils down to “Alvaro is playing games. They’re ALL playing games! AND WE’RE A PIECE, NOT A PLAYER!!!” Angel, talking about the attack on the inn: “You see, boss, shit like this happens all the fucking time in this city” Copper, only paying half attention, and worried his sleep paralysis nightmares have been given physical form in this city:“Wait, like Shadow People?” The fact Lars had to address the audience and make sure people know he just has a serious case of RBF and he’s still enjoying the game a lot is crazy. “He graduated with honours from the college of war, and enrolled as a freshman into the college of sorceries. That was 30 years ago. This guy is like, one of the most powerful mages in the city” WHY CAN’T I HAVE MORE STUFF LIKE THIS. “We are the newest, smallest spy network in the city.” The fact that had to be said is so indicative of the setting and I love it. OD’s mind instantly going to “These college guys are open with each other. What if we cut someone’s finger off and give Boots their highschool ring?” is pure chaos D&D. Making a trip to the magic shop an appointment with a private collector is so much better than Ye Olde Magic Weapon Shoppe. Leech’s “Is there a boy in my room?” and “Can I send a boy to fetch me some clothes?” is so good, and Matt making the point of the older humans probably being younger than him is even funnier if he’s calling some dude in his 50s boy. I picture Bigcat on the flying carpet hanging from the underside with her tentacles strapping her to it. A treant private magic item curator? That’s so neat! HAHAHAHAHA SUMAT POL AND THE PERMANENT TRANSIENT  “Besides, all you pinkskins look the same.” Oh no, please, don’t make me dislike them. I really like having one-off NPCs basically hint at an impossibly larger picture just by existing. Wow, having an NPC give their own cosmic, 6th dimensional answer as to why Blackrazor might not be in the setting is actually kind of amazing. It really feels like Matt’s made his world feel even more like his opinion on really early D&D, where everything is in some constant, shared string of related universes. “We can probably get you a Vorpal weapon, sure,” dude Phil’s face at that was brilliant. There was the half second of like “Wait did I seriously just get that by asking?” OH, MATT’S GONNA HOMEBREW A LESSER VORPAL BLADE? Yeah I’m totally stealing all of this with my own spices. Leech with a purple metal mask would be awesome. I’m a big fan of straight up asking the players “What do you want?” Because it’s pretty unlikely they’ll get the opportunity to just ask for something from this dimensional curator every week. The image of Judge, Buts and Slim making demonheart weapons and armour out of extraplanar metal is really cool, but it also makes me think of the countless times where you and your friends have 0 coordination and you take 5 hours to assemble flatpack furniture. I’ll say it again. Tom as Copper is such brilliant roleplay, and every time he speaks it is golden. The Navigator gains intrinsics from eating.   Sumat: “Are you sure Kenway has the shield? I heard he has the crown.” Lars, OOC: “Not unless he took it from Sigurd, that’s bullshit” Sumat: “Who’s Sigurd?” Blood trickles out of King’s nose. You can tell why the amulet which prevents scrying or whatever would be valuable in the city of the Great Game. Final thoughts: Love this episode. Nice to see the intrigue of Capital finally being unveiled, and Sumat Pol managed to be funny while also being a pretty genius NPC in their own right. 

[jjkfire]

taehyung x reader // fuckboy!taehyung // 2k words

You stare at the piece of paper before you. You’re so close. All you need is the middle tile and you would hit double bingo.

Wait, bingo? Why did you care for bingo?

See it wasn’t just any game of bingo. It was a special one. Each tile was a specific challenge, one you would have to complete and post on social media as proof. The challenges ranged from correcting your professor during lecture to kayaking to the middle of the enormous lake on campus to scaling the beloved statue right in the middle of the quad. Granted, you’ve picked the easier ones to complete but you think you’ve done pretty well so far. You’ve already managed to complete 8 of them. 4 straight across and 4 up. Almost forming a cross but you needed that middle tile, badly. Why? Well, this game of bingo boasted a prize of a semester’s supply of free burgers and fries. If that isn’t music to a broke college student’s ears, you’re not sure what is.

So, you’re one away from double bingo, only the middle tile standing in your way and maybe right now, you regret choosing this formation. Perhaps you should have gone for one of the rows or columns that didn’t have the middle tile… but, striking the middle tile meant you had to do one less challenge. Considering the fact that your professors are really beginning to pile on the coursework, you didn’t have the time to complete any more than one silly challenge. You groan about your predicament to Lisa, your closest friend who was this close to throwing you into the lake herself if you make her film anymore of your stupid videos for the bingo challenge.

“But that’s easy,” She laughs looking at the paper in your hand.

“Easy? It’s the middle tile for a reason,” You grumble.

Get 3000 likes on an original post that has some academic relevance.

Now how were you going to do that? It’s been weeks and you and well… the 10 other people who still bothered participating are still trying to nail that very tile. Considering that only 5 people follow you on Instagram, 3 of which are spam accounts… you don’t think you’ll be getting 3000 likes on anything, much less a post that was academically relevant.

“Just get a picture with Taehyung,” She hums. “He rakes in likes by the thousands.”

“It has to be academically related, you ninny,” You grumble, poking her in the forehead. “Taehyung and academics don’t really go hand in hand.”

See, Kim Taehyung is Beta Tau Sigma’s beloved fratboy. Loved, or rather lusted after by many, but also hated by many… usually, scorned women, of course. You’ve heard stories of him, many in fact, but they’re all the same. It’s always the same story about how they had a one-night stand with the handsome boy, how he oozed confidence, how he had them crawling back for more and of course, he obliges but it’s never really more than sex. The boy wears his fuckboy badge loud and proud and you guess you always found it quite ridiculous that the girls would come crying, bawling over the fact that he didn’t want to be exclusive. Of course he didn’t, you snort. It was practically written on his face. But you don’t understand, they would say. He was so sweet, he was so… different. But fuckboys are fuckboys, you smile. If you had a face like his, you’d probably do the same.

“Okay, but what’s the criteria? You just have to look like you’re doing homework or something, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then that’s easy! I’ll get you your 3000 likes so I don’t have to follow you around campus and watch you make a fool out of yourself anymore.”

“Okay, but how? How does Taehyung fit into this? Just so you know, me roleplaying a schoolgirl while Taehyung smacks my ass doesn’t count as an academically relevant post.”

“That’s… actually better than what I had in mind but, you know that’s what Pornhub is for and unless you’re thinking of delving into amateur porn, I think we can skip that idea,” She laughs. “Just bring your notes with you to Beta Tau this Saturday and I’ll sort the rest of it out.”

“You’re not going to make me flash a tit in front of him are you? Because I absolutely won’t—”

“It’ll be PG, sort of… anyway, don’t worry,” She huffs. “Just, remember to be there, okay?”

You say yes and she reminds you a few more times during the week but as usual, when the day comes, you’re nowhere in sight. It’s only when your phone rings, the bass thumping in the background of Lisa’s call that you actually remember where you’re supposed to be.

“Please tell me you’re on your way here.”

“I… Yeah, I am,” You mumble, as you answer one of the last few questions on your online Chemistry quiz. “But look, I need to finish this quiz first because once I start it, there’s a time limit and—"

“You better get here in 20 because Taehyung is getting awfully antsy about being held back from his usual… activities.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” You yell as you attempt to change your outfit and answer the quiz questions, all at the same time.

There’s only 20 minutes left on the clock and you struggle to answer the quiz while you’re sat on the bus heading towards a frat house of all places. With one question left and only 8 minutes to go, you arrive at the front door of Beta Tau Sigma, pushing past the front door, ignoring the freshman that attempts to stop you from going in.

Lisa spots you instantly, dragging you towards the couch where Taehyung is seated. He looks absolutely annoyed, a deep set frown on his face with a solo cup in one hand and phone in the other. When you stand in front of him, he barely gives you the time of the day. He puts his phone away before he taps at his thigh, as if he was asking you to sit.

“Are you just going to stare at me all day or are we going to get this thing moving?”

“Sorry?” You question, unsure what he had meant by that and you turn to your friend for help. “Lisa, wait what are we—”

“Where are your notes, Y/N?” She asks before her gaze lands on the laptop in your hands. “Oh my god, you idiot. I meant like bring your physical notes not your online lecture slides,” She groans.

“Lisa, you said this would take 5 minutes,” Taehyung grumbles from behind you. “It’s been almost half an hour.”

“Okay, okay. 5 more minutes, I promise,” She sighs. “Anyway, quick introduction. Taehyung, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Taehyung. Okay, now sit on his lap.”

“I’m supposed to do what now?”

Lisa doesn’t even answer you, simply pushing you onto his lap before she snatches your phone from you. Taehyung lets out a soft groan of pain before his arms circle your middle to keep you from falling off.

“You want your 3000 likes, don’t you? Well, we’re gonna get them.”

You don’t even know what to say because first, you didn’t even know what the hell was going on. You look down at your screen and you almost let out a scream as the countdown timer shows 3 minutes left.

“Look, I just need to finish this quiz question real quick and then we can—”

“Neat, you’re already in character,” Lisa smiles as she begins recording. “Yeah, just focus on your laptop. Pretend you don’t care,” She directs, to which you nod to, albeit a little confused.

Her friends stand behind her with their phones out and their flash on to provide lighting Lisa says. It’s certainly a bizarre sight to say the least. You’re in the middle of a dimly lit living room, everyone around you already half past drunk and the soft bass thumping from the basement where the main party is happening does little to help you concentrate on your quiz.

“There’s no need to be nervous, babe,” Taehyung whispers and you assume it’s because you’re practically shaking in his lap but what he doesn’t know is that it had absolutely nothing to do with him but everything to do with the fact that you now only had 1 minute left and you can’t quite figure out the question.

You hear Lisa say something akin to alright, action! but you have no idea what she’s really talking about. It doesn’t take you too long to figure it out though because within seconds, Taehyung is pressing open mouth kisses from your collarbone to your neck, his tongue leaving behind a trail as he slowly works his way up. You gulp, when he nips at your skin and you shut your eyes in an attempt to focus on the question instead, softly mumbling to yourself but it’s a mistake because you hear him let out a low groan as he presses you down harder into his lap, his hips grinding upwards. It’s soft but Taehyung smirks because he swears he hears you stifle a moan. His hand pulls you closer to him, his thumb just under your bra and he grumbles because he finds all the layers between you and him… annoying. Lisa is practically laughing as panic flashes across your face, obviously enjoying this more than you, but seconds after, it’s like you have a lightbulb moment and you smile as you move your finger across your trackpad, selecting your choice before you hit submit.

You turn your screen towards the camera pointing at your score as you grin.

“Ten out of ten,” You beam, surprising Taehyung who pulls away with his eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” Lisa asks, confused. “What do you mea—”

“I only had 20 seconds left too!”

“Oh my god, was that a real quiz?” Lisa queries as she steps closer. “You dumbass! You should’ve just used a screenshot and faked it! I can’t believe you—”

“Well I was trying to tell you that I had an actual quiz to finish but you didn’t want to listen,” You frown and Lisa doesn’t even look at you, simply typing away at your phone.

“You know sometimes it feels like I’m the only one with functioning braincells in this friendship,” She sighs. “Anyway, you’re welcome. That’s going to be 3000 likes easy,” She hums as she hands you your phone.

“Really?” You question as you watch the video, the clip starting with just Taehyung’s lips on your neck, your head thrown back as you have your eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed but it gradually zooms out to show your laptop in your hands and finally, you pointing to your screen and Lisa midway scolding you before it cuts to black and repeats. It’s oddly a lot funnier than you expected… even if maybe that wasn’t quite what Lisa was going for originally.

“Just the thumbnail alone would probably get you 1000 likes,” She smirks, but the way her lips curl up has less to do with her statement and more to do with the way Taehyung seemed to be undressing you with his eyes.

“Nice. Here’s to hoping we get our free burgers,” You grin, shutting your laptop before you tuck it under your arm. You tap at Taehyung’s hand that’s still around your middle, holding you in place. It’s a silent gesture to ask him to let go but he only clicks his tongue at you.

“And where do you think you’re going?” He asks, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, his thumb smoothing out against the fabric of your crop top.

“Well, home, preferably,” You smile as you pull his hand away to stand up, hoping you look confident despite the way the low timbre of his voice had sent shivers down your spine.

“But what am I going to do with this?” He questions as he points to the tent in his pants. The boy was absolutely shameless.

“That seems more like a you problem and not a me problem.”

“But you caused it,” He frowns.

“From what? Sitting on your lap?” You question before you turn to Lisa. “So this is the fabled Kim Taehyung?”

“Fabled?” He asks. “Tell me, what do they say about me?” He smiles, hands resting at your waist, as if he was waiting for permission to pull you onto his lap again.

“I’m sure you know,” You sigh. “Though they neglected to mention that you’re the type that would come after just one stroke.”

Lisa lets out a low whistle, laughing silently at the way Taehyung’s jaw ticks. “I’d be careful if I were you, Y/N. This one doesn’t do too well with jokes.”

“I’m just playing,” You smile, patting the hand he had on your waist before you peeled it off. “I’m sure you’re everything they say you are,” You wink, taking a seat on the arm of the couch as Lisa hands you a drink.

“Why don’t you come find out for yourself?”

“I should, shouldn’t I?” You hum, sipping on your drink. “But there seems to be quite the line for that,” You laugh, using your cup to point towards a few of the many girls who were currently eyeing him up and down.

“Well, looks like you’re first in line to me though.”

You smile, loving the attention. The boy is smooth, you’ll give him that.

“Maybe next time,” You smile, before you lean down to whisper. “You’ll wait for me, won’t you?”

You don’t stay to hear his answer, sauntering off before he gets the chance to reply.

“Make sure to like the video, yeah?” You say, turning back just to flash him a grin and he simply answers with a thumbs up.

He smirks to himself as he watches you walk away, your hips swaying from side to side. Hmm, Taehyung wasn’t exactly a patient man… but, he’ll wait. In any case, you’re refreshing. It’s been a while since he’s had some fun.