#the fact he used to wear a fedora??

[meri-meri-mwah]

Reboot Vergil: You guys are just jealous because all my friends that knows me tell me I remind them of og Vergil—

Me: LOOK LIKE VERGIL?? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?? Og Vergil, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that a weirdo like this would even say that.

[bipolareffigy]

Wade insisting he and Logan do couple-y shit so they go to the farm to do the corn maze and get pumpkins. Logan fits in with his flannel and work boots and Wade is wearing colorful rubber rain boots and a wide-brimmed fedora because he embodies white girl fall fashion, obviously.

Logan sneaks whiskey into his apple cider and Wade has his extra sweet PSL and they go through the corn maze first only it goes…poorly. Wade is following the clues around the maze but Logan is following his nose.

“More people have gone this way. We should turn left.”

“The clue says we should go right, Peanut.”

“The clue could mean either right or left.”

“Right seems like the fun way.”

And Logan won’t complain to getting lost in the maze with Wade so he agrees to go right (it was, in fact, the wrong but fun way).

They get pumpkins and when they carve them Wade’s is a simple pumpkin face—cliche but cute. Logan cut his with his claws like one of those people who makes sculptures out of logs using a chainsaw and it comes out looking like the Mona Lisa only it’s a portrait of Mary Puppins.

They spend the night watching classic scary movies and Logan makes an offhand comment about how he went to the premiere of “The Exorcist” and recalls people throwing up in the theaters and Wade makes a joke about Logan being older than dirt that turns into a toothless fight that turns into wild sex while the priest chants latin on screen.

[mochinomnoms]

i just want to saw that you really cooked with the trey scenario and it’s been on my mind since you posted it. like imagine the banter between the two?? the way i would perceive every interaction i would have with him as condescending especially with his cute, infuriating smirk while he over on the side thinking of how to subtly get your heart (and how to sneak in a few baking puns too). smth smth trey shares a family recipe and we point it out and trey is deflecting hard.

-��

Im glad you liked it! I've been working at a bakery for a few weeks now and I was surprised at how little baking I do (which is none). 90% of the job is packaging the goods to sell in the store! So the idea just came to me while at work!

In all good fun, I think Trey would try to poke a bit of fun at you, though he does firmly believe in the superiority of a proper bakery versus a grocery store one. He'll acknowledge that he's biased, but not wrong.

But with the wrong tone and a prefect who woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning, Trey is suddenly met with a one-sided rivalry that he could end with an apology, but...

Well, forgive him for this, but Trey finds it very funny and endearing how offended and angry you get. Especially when your immediate response is to challenge him to a bake off (which you lose, miserably).

It's such a deviation from your usual mannerisms. You're always polite, kind, and attentive, and the fact that he's the only one to rile you up over something that's really so trival is actually a bit fun to him. Trey has had to be a big brother figure for the last few years and regin in Riddle as best as he can, so it's nice to have a bit of fun.

You're just mad that this fedora wearing, broccoli-color haired, 5'11" asshole called your old job "pseudo baking". So what if he's technically right and you didn't bake anything from scratch yourself? That doesn't mean he gets to say it to your face without consequences!

Most of the banter is you giving Trey snide comments and him replying with amused, teasing remarks. Normally he wouldn't let this escalate to the level it's at now, but damn it you're awfully cute and it's actually a bit fun watching you scramble around in the kitchen to make simple cupcakes.

"I know the recipe! I just didn't have to make it since I did a later shift—BUT I still trained for baking stuff you know!"

"Sure. Of course, baking pre-made mixes right?"

"Oh fuck off. 'PRe-MaDe MIxeS—' shut the fuck up!"

"Oh, did I hit a nerve? It's fine if you did, you're a grocery store baker, after all. Sorry, sorry."

"No, you're not! You're fucking smirking! The audacity—I should use this spoon to smack that dumb smirk off your pretty face, you moth—"

You shut up pretty quick after your slip of the tongue, focused on the handwritten recipe card that looks like it's been passed down a few generations at this point. Trey's started to flush pink, though his smile is softer and more fond now, as he continues watching you in silence.

Like I said, he's having fun in his own way. You, on the other hand, are fighting off the heat in your face as you're wondering at what point you started finding his stupid face attractive.

[yaboywillyshakes]

tfw someone gets a historical fact wrong in a fanfiction but it's about something you care about, so you end up making tag yourself memes for two days as if that's gonna solve it

[image IDs under the cut]

First Image: A "Tag Yourself" meme on a white background. It is titled "Tag Yourself: Butte, Montana Edition." Underneath the title are three rows of three pictures. Starting from left to right, the first picture is a white and black restaurant logo for Pork Chop John's which includes a pig's head wearing a crown. Above the logo is written "Mr. Pork Chop John." Below the logo are the bullet points: "best with miracle whip," "really loves bread," and "branding? who's that." In the middle top position, there is a black & white picture of a white man in a newspaper clipping from 1918. He is wearing a dark suit & there is no background to the picture. It is titled "Local Hero Manus Dugan." Beneath the picture are the bullet points: "hard to photograph," "puts others before themselves," and "error: location not found." The picture on the right of the top row is of a mineshaft headframe silhouetted against the sky. It is titled "Mineshaft Headframe," and beneath it are the bullet points: "looks great in profile," "was useful once," and "named something cool." The leftmost picture in the middle row is of a snow goose. It is titled "Arsenic-Filled Snow Goose," and is followed by these bullet points: "bad at choosing housing," "dead inside," and "always travels with the squad." The middle picture is a logo for a casino called "Lucky Lil's." The logo is multiple shades of purple and white, and contains the name of the casino and a drawing of a saloon girl with blonde hair." The image is titled "Lucky Lil," and the bullet points below are: "always has the good liquor," "house always way too dark," and "cleavage causes lesbian awakenings." The picture on the right of the middle row is of a huge, solid white statue of the Virgin Mary perched on a mountain top; it has similar vibes to the statue of Christ the Redeemer in Buenos Aires. This image is titled "Our Lady of the Rockies," and is followed by the bullet points: "really over it all," "fond of helicopters," and "doesn't understand the separation of church and state." The picture on the left hand side of the bottom row is another casino logo; it is a white woman with brown hair wearing cowgirl attire encircled by a horseshoe over orange block letters that read "Montana Lil's." The logo is titled "Montana Lil," and the bullet points beneath it are: "trying too hard to be country," "never pays your money back," and "mafia connections?." The middle picture on the bottom row is of a hand pie on white plate. The pie is split down the middle and contains meat chunks, carrots and potatoes. It is labelled "Traditional Cornish Pasty." Beneath the pasty are the bullet points: "full of good things," "forgets to wash hands," and "easy to get along with." The picture on the bottom right of the meme is a black and white picture of a white man looking directly into the camera. He is wearing a medium toned suit and a fedora worn at an angle, and has a bit of a lopsided scowl. The picture is titled "IWW Organizer Frank Little," and is followed by the points: "has the charisma," "likely to die under mysterious circumstances," and "really over capitalism."

Second Image: A "Tag Yourself" meme on a white background. It is titled "Tag Yourself: Helena, Montana Edition." Underneath the title are three rows of three pictures. Starting from left to right, the first picture is of some teenagers dressed in cowboy attire climbing makeshift gallows on a parade float. Above the picture is written "Vigilante Day Parade." Below the logo are the bullet points: "likes the cheap beer," "celebrates local history," and "racist undertones." In the middle top position, there is a color photo of a gothic style cathedral with two steeples, made of tan limestone with a red tile roof. An airplane emoji has been pasted between the steeples. It is titled "Catholic Aerial Stunt." Beneath the picture are the bullet points: "needs to lay off the whiskey," "incredible eye hand coordination," and "no respect for architecture." The picture on the right of the top row is a black and white mugshot of a white woman in mid-to-late middle age. She has a tired expression, a somewhat jowely face, and dark curly hair styled in a 1950s bob. She is holding a signboard that reads: "Lewis and Clark County Sheriff 2715 1-18-57." The mugshot is titled "Big Dorothy," and beneath it are the bullet points: "ungovernable," "pillar of the community," and "cool aunt but bad mom vibes." The leftmost picture in the middle row is of an abandoned strip mall. It is titled "Signs of Urban Decay," and is followed by these bullet points: "vaguely morose," "likes a good burrito," and "doesn't understand landscaping." The middle picture is a black and white photo of a man dressed head to toe in mid century firefighter's gear. The image is titled "Smoke Jumper," and the bullet points below are: "sick threads," "cares about the laws of thermodynamics," and "chased by the reaper." On the right of the middle row is a picture of a whitetail buck at night taken with the flash on. The buck walking past what appears to be a wall of a building in a residential area. This image is titled "Urban Outlaw," and is followed by the bullet points: "has beef with every dog," "wanted by law enforcement," and "hates the paperboy." The picture on the left hand side of the bottom row is of a theatre building made of a red stone. It has three arches over the front door, a triangular roof & a large, round strained glass window over the door. A bedsheet ghost has been poorly photoshopped onto the stairs leading to the door. The image is titled "Grandstreet Theatre Ghost," and the bullet points beneath it are: "constantly misplacing objects," "loves a balcony scene," and "good with kids." The middle picture on the bottom row is a landscape photo of a mountain that vaguely looks like a man laying on his back. It is labelled "Sleeping Giant." Beneath the Sleeping Giant are the bullet points: "#naplyfe," "really photographs well," and "loves a lake day." The picture on the bottom right of the meme is a color photo of a wooden tower structure with four legs and a circular lookout room at the top. The picture is titled "Guardian of the Gulch," and is followed by the points: "the tall friend," "helpful & perceptive," and "has a love/hate relationship with fire."

[elizais]

your version of poodle

bsd x fem!reader!! summary if you don't want to watch the video: you and __ have a random word that you use to confirm whether the other is telling the truth or not to make the other happy/quietly tell the other you love them. warnings: suicide mention (dazai) includes: dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, kunikida, jouno

osamu dazai, "citrus"

you had to go on a mission for the agency, you had to go undercover at a party. you had a specific dress to wear that had a microphone in it so that the detectives could gather the information from you. yosano was doing the back of your hair whilst you done your makeup at your desk. not the best studio, but it would do. and osamu loved watching.

everyone was discussing the mission, some people (ranpo) jealous of the food you had freedom to and all you really had to do was sneak into some conversations.

standing up after your hair and makeup was finished, you smoothed out your dress and walked over to the mirror. turning a wall to face the mirror, grimacing behind the wall the separated you from their conversation, you didn't see osamu sneak a glance and quickly walk back to his desk. you walked back plastering a smile on your face although you didn't feel your best, and grabbed your bag as everyone wished you luck.

osamu walked over as you grabbed a few things from your desk and put them in, he stroked your shoulder lightly before saying " you look gorgeous, bella. " trying to assure you of that fact. "citrus?" you asked. "citrus." he smiled.

"what's citrus?" atsushi asked dazai as you left, speaking for everyone as dazai explained with a chuckle. "it just means you have to be telling the truth."

"why citrus?" kunikida followed up. "oh! well one night we were watching a movie and someone said something about commiting suicide from citric acid, i contemplated trying it and i forgot that it's basically just orange juice." he shrugged with a smirk.

chuuya nakahara, "fedora"

you were both sat in the same executives meeting discussing last month's faults and then it came to the section that you controlled. "y/n, what exactly went wrong in that mission?"

mori asked as you sighed, remembering that mission when you had to turn back from the enemy with your most feared group. the mission that was meant to be a straight success.

"they had an ability that countered most of ours, the safest thing to do was to turn back. " you explained. "are you certain?" the boss pried.

"i'm absolutely certain, chuuya, don't you agree? you read the mission overview." you responded more agitated than before, trying to get help so that mori doesn't kill you then and there. "yes sir, fedora." chuuya agreed with you but realised the word he had used when you started laughing.

the word only you two knew the meaning of.

"what does fedora mean?" mori grilled. laughing, you explained the origin of what fedora meant to you both and how it came from chuuya claiming he would never lie about a hat. somehow, you both got out of the tough situation mori put you in.

ryunosuke akutagawa, "rash"

ryunosuke was not one for affection or pda, and you were perfectly okay with that fact. so, how you came up with a word showing how much you love each other was like this:

when you first heard him talk about rashomon, it was when you had first met him and you were just listening in to conversations as you walked along port mafia corridors. you had innocently thought that he said "rash of mine" and thought nothing of it.

but then once you and ryu became closer months later yet not anything official, you were talking one night and messing around with your abilities. when he called out rashomon, you couldn't help but be overcome by giggles.

looking at you confused, he couldn't ask what is funny before you turn to him and realise you never told him. "when,," you giggle "i once heard you talking about rash-" you giggle again.. taking a deep breath in "i thought rashomon was called 'rash of mine' for a couple weeks."

so after you both hung out more and became something more, your small way of showing that you love one another when neither of you were too keen on pda was a quiet whisper of "rash" or a squeeze of the other's forearm. you could both agree your favourite part of this secret language was that you were the only ones who could speak it.

doppo kunikida, "salmon"

this one is simple because doppo enjoys fishing. it became a thing when you were very early into the relationship and he took you fishing.

you weren't keen on fishing but you wanted to try it since it was something he liked. he took you to his favourite spot and you admired him as he spoke whilst fishing. and he caught one! a huge salmon..

you were so happy to be with him you forgot how much fish freaked you out, so when he shown you the monster of a fish he got you froze up. he saw you and immediately laughed whilst asking "do you want me to put it back, y/n?" and you nodded slowly in response.

so ever since, when he wasn't sure if you were sure on something and vice versa, a one word question was asked. "salmon?" "salmon." and when used in front of colleagues, to say it confused them to see (in dazai's words) "prime minister of meeting procedure land acting insane." would be an understatement.

saigiku jouno, "soy sauce"

whilst saigiku can tell when you are uncomfortable or lying from his heightened senses, so he didn't really have to call "soy sauce". but it is no secret he doesn't enjoy tecchou's habit of matching foods of the same colour together. so naturally when you found out about this pet peeve you just had to tease him about this!

but over time the phrase slowly evolved into whenever you aren't sure whether he was uncomfortable in a situation (which isn't often, he is very vocal about his likes and dislikes) you would just ask him, "soy sauce?" and a yes was simply that he was uncomfortable and a no was that he wasn't.

or when you saw him unusually stressed in the hunting dog's HQ, he heard you walking up by him and as he is another one who isn't overly fond of pda, a hushed "soy sauce" could be heard.

if tecchou ever heard your soy sauce thing, jouno would never admit what it means.

[ckret2]

Did bill decide immediately on a top hat and bowtie, or did he go through a selection of other styles?

I headcanon that Bill doesn't wear a top hat and bow tie.

In the second dimension, having an eye in the middle of the body would be useless because you wouldn't be able to see through your body to view the outside world. He must have originally had his eye on a corner of his body.

That doesn't look like wearing a hat. That looks like peering through a telescope.

Bill's got an entire reputation built up around being the All-Seeing Eye. But there's canon evidence that his vision might not be terrific. (The way he squints to read the safe code to Gideon, and the fact that he didn't recognize the Stan & Ford swap—although I consider the second one weak evidence, neither Dipper & Mabel nor most of the audience noticed either.)

Makes sense for the all-seeing eye to carry around a tool to help him see better and farther. For people who recognize what it is (the few survivors from his dimension, mainly), permanently incorporating a telescope into his anatomy adds to his "I see everything" symbolism.

Since he no longer has a corner eye, if he wants to actually use the telescope, he just, pulls it down in front of his eye and peers into it.

And I've said that I think his bow tie is to keep his exoskeleton on.

(There should be internal organs in there but I didn't wanna draw them.)

He started accessorizing with a telescope when he realized that out in the third dimension it would be helpful to carry one at all times, since he used it a lot. And he added the straps when he started wearing an exoskeleton. Since both of these aren't fashion accessories, but functional tools he needs for practical reasons, he's never experimented with different fashions.

(I mean, maybe he's tried out a red telescope or maybe he's tried switching the tie-on straps for Velcro straps—but he's always had a telescope and something to tie on his exoskeleton; not, say, a fedora and a wristwatch.)

We know from the show's historical art of Bill that he'd been wearing his top hat and bow tie for millennia (at minimum) before those accessories existed, so he certainly didn't put them on for our benefit. But I think he leans into the fact that humans perceive them that way. It's a lucky/cute coincidence. If a human references his top hat & bow tie, he won't correct them and will use the same terms.

Occasionally during Weirdmageddon we see pictures of him without his usual "hat"; I think that's equivalent to taking off your glasses to more accurately cosplay a character. He's just in costume.

[milligramspoison]

Welcome to the FOB edition of this list! I originally did this with MCR :)

North America

LIVE DEBUT OF G.I.N.A.S.F.S. (Chicago)

CHRIS LIVESTREAMED THE SHOW

Live debut Heaven, lowa!!

Live debut of Baby Annihilation!

A cover of Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne!

The Take Over, the Breaks Over for the first time since 2017!

GIANT DOG HEAD BEHIND PATRICK

Someone wore a Mikey Fuckin' Way shirt to the show (he's already somehow made his way into this list and it's only night one)

Someone else wore a Hey Chris shirt

The Pink Seashell was the intro!

They opened up the tour with LFTOS (it's called Otherside on the official setlist!)

GINASFS being labeled GOLF on the setlist

William Beckett and a handkerchief

They played Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey!

They played Fake Out for the first time with Joe!

New merch tour merch!

CLANDESTINE MERCH

Security/ushers going hard during Centuries!

Pete straight up disappearing off the face of the earth before Crazy Train

Setlist got leaked (very reminiscent of one of MCR hometown shows lol)

Not tour content but Pavlove has randomly appeared on Spotify but is currently unplayable (Maryland Heights)

Patrick was spotted watching the openers!

A paper had to be made for presumably security to not mistake the guys as a concert goer (fucking hilarious)

Andy was also spotted watching the openers!

THEY'RE PLAYING RAY'S ICONIC SPOKEN WORD PART OF I'M NOT OKAY BETWEEN SETS

Each city is getting its own special shirt!! (This was revealed during the Missouri show!)

Setlistfm user mommymilkers live updating the setlist for us (icon)

LIVE DEBUT OF WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

GIN JOINTS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2008

JOE SINGING DURING CHICAGO

No one could tell if they either played Gin Joints or Tell That Mick at first

Setlistfm saying they covered Super Bass by Nicki Minaj (it was a troll but a funny one)

Patrick saying he wants to talk to the dog during This Ain't a Scene

Pete petting the dog

Pete giving his pick to a young fan <3

Stardust Funhouse! (Bonner Springs)

Fans with vip packages get their own magic 8 ball! (This has been happening since Chicago but wasn't revealed until night 3 of the tour!)

Patrick and Andy were watching Alkaline Trio together :)

PATRICK IS WEARING THE FEDORA

TOUR DEBUT OF HUM HALLELUJAH

I’M LIKE A LAWYER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

SOPHOMORE SLUMP ALSO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

More trolls saying they covered ME! by Taylor Swift

“Fall Out Boy is my favorite fucking band”

New (I think) BMTH merch! (Woodlands)

BMTH joining the tour! (Been waiting for them since the announcement lol)

FOB SETLIST GOT LEAKED AGAIN

BMTH fans exploding over the fact that Kingslayer wasn't on BMTH's setlist

FOB fans being sad over the fact Pete isn't wearing his skirt (I think someone lied about this so understandable tbh)

THEY COVERED SOMEBODY TO LOVE BY QUEEN

THEY ALSO COVERED TAKE ON ME BY A-HA

Someone on setlistfm trolling everyone by saying they performed Golden for the first time since 2007

Someone else also trolling on setlistfm saying they covered Princess Diana by Ice Spice

Same troll mentioned above saying Ice Spice was there

More trolls saying they did WAP by Cardi B

LIVE DEBUT OF KINTSUGI KID

MORE trolls saying they did I Write Sins and Viva Las Vengeance by P!ATD (the trolls were really annoying tonight tbh)

What a surprise more trolls saying they covered Dear John by Taylor Swift

“I DRESS THIS WAY BC IF THE CROWD IS FEELING HOT AND MISERABLE THEN IM GONNA BE HOT AND MISERABLE WITH YOU GUYS WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER”

Patrick getting a friendship bracelet and having some banter with Pete <3

The lovely @andoutofharm leaking the setlist for us that says Kansas City even though they're in Dallas (Dallas is proving to be chaos) (wasn’t actually tonight’s setlist but funny it was there)

Joe is hiding his book for fans similar to how MCR hid drumsticks for fans!

Clandestine merch returns in Dallas!

Oli giving FOB a brief shoutout before MANTRA!

PETE IS IN THE SKIRT

Speech about support staff!

Speech about TTTYG’s anniversary!!!

WHAT A CATCH DONNIE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

THE (AFTER) LIFE OF THE PARTY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

Pete walked around in the audience!

“Trying to keep it cool in Texas”

Patrick’s speech about imposter syndrome <3 (whole thing is very sweet and nice)

BMTH not performing in Phoenix :( (sad times)

PETE IS IN A SKIRT AGAIN

Patrick is wearing the black button up again but tucked in!

TAKE OVER AND HUM HALLELUJAH IN THE SAME NIGHT

Pete talking about prioritizing love <3

SPOTLIGHT BY PATRICK WAS FUCKING PLAYED HOLY SHIT

ALSO PATRICK’S FIRST TIME PLAYING SPOTLIGHT SINCE 2011

SPACE CAMP FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

They played one extra song tonight! (They usually play 27 songs a night)

Played the instrumental version of Stardust at the end of the show!

Patrick’s speech before Spotlight <3

Pete got Grimaced but Patrick lives on in peace lol

MIKEY FUCKIN WAY IS AT THE FUCKING SHOW (Chula Vista)

A COVER OF NOTHING COMPARES 2 U BY PRINCE

(COFFEE’S FOR CLOSERS) FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2009

Patrick and Pete didn’t do the waltz :(

MIKEY PLAYED FUCKING SATURDAY WITH THEM

MIKEY WITH PETE WHILE PLAYING SATURDAY

MIKEY RUNNING TO THE STAGE TO PLAY

Mikey posting Andy on his story <3333

PATRICK AND MIKEY HUGGING <33333333

Mikey with the entire band <3333333

I nearly spread an entire rumor that Mikey posted sim versions of FOB on his story (oops)

Pete doing this weird/messed up bow thing towards Patrick

“Love you dudes!” on Mikey’s story <33333

“My two dads” on Gabe’s story (never change Gabe)

Patrick stopping the show to make sure a fan is okay <3

Kristin reposting Mikey playing with FOB on her story <3

The pit during BMTH’s set

Oli is missing a fucking shoe

I predicted Mikey performing with FOB :3

Mr. Blue Sky cover! (LA night one)

GOLDEN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

G.I.N.A.S.F.S. IS MAGIC 8 BALL ONCE AGAIN

AMERICA’S SUITEHEARTS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2009

TWO MAGIC 8 BALL SONGS AS YOU CAN SEE ABOVE

They played 29 songs tonight!! (They usually about 27 songs a night)

PETE AND PATRICK HARMONIZED DURING SRAR

Pete spotting his trainer in the crowd (literally the equivalent of Gerard from MCR talking about their mailman during a show)

Patrick’s speech before medley <3

“New car smell stadium”

Demi Lovato was at the show and performed with Royal & the Serpent, one of the openers!

Pete being shipped to the audience (Amazon same day delivery)

America’s Suitehearts being labeled as ASS on the official setlist

Oli in a cult leader tank top (literally just says cult leader)

The band had a secret show earlier on in the day! (LA night two)

Technically tour stuff, but Pete possibly hinting at an MCR x FOB tour for 2024!

Someone on setlistfm deleting the entire setlist

LIVE DEBUT OF I’VE GOT ALL THIS RINGING IN MY EARS

A COVER OF EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

SOPHOMORE SLUMP WITH WILLIAM BECKETT OF THE ACADEMY IS

THE (AFTER) LIFE OF THE PARTY ONCE AGAIN

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF BANG THE DOLDRUMS

Pete’s speech <3

Pete has a new jacket!

Saturday with Adam T. Siska!

“It looks like there's a lot of you, it's a little intimidating” ~ Patrick (Mountain View)

What A Catch Donnie once again!

A cover of Alison by Elvis Costello!

THE PATRON SAINT OF LIARS AND FAKES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

Pete and Andy briefly turning the show into comedy hour

Pete stood on the piano (thanks piano)

Random guy checking his emails during BMTH’s set (lowkey pretty funny, shoutout to this iconic guy)

Not tour stuff but Electric Touch by Taylor Swift featuring FOB came out today! (July 7th) (West Valley City)

Patrick telling everyone to sing along to Grand Theft Autumn

Cover of Hold The Line by Toto!

THE KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2018

Someone having a Frerard license plate (honestly super funny)

Patrick saving a bug

Pete broke up a fight (pls don’t fight at concerts that’s not fucking cool) (Greenwood Village)

THEY DID FUCKING BANG THE DOLDRUMS AGAIN AND IT WASN’T EVEN MAGIC 8 BALL TIME

ACOUSTIC GUITAR FOR MEDLEY

PATRICK PLAYED AN ORIGINAL SONG BY HIS DAD <33333

Patrick’s dad is at the show! <3

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

“The party tonight is awesome” ~ Pete

“The last thing you want to do is go and brag tomorrow that you got into a fight at a fucking Fall Out Boy show. And it wasn’t even with Bring Me The Horizon, y’know what I mean?” ~ also Pete

The song Patrick played from his dad is called Goin’ North!

There’s bubbles during Disloyal!! (This has been happening the entire tour but I haven’t seen anyone bring it up until the Colorado show!)

Cover of Peace Love and Understanding by Elvis Costello & The Attractions! (Rodgers)

I SLEPT WITH SOMEONE IN FOB FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2015

A speech about Stardust!

Patrick during Saturday <3

“I’m gonna go play Super Mario Brothers”

Pete chatted with a kid during the show <3

Storm delay just before FOB’s set, thankfully everyone was safe!! (Somerset)

Oli has lost his fucking shoe once again

Drunk guy took his pants off and had security chase him (hope they caught him)

THEY SOUNDCHECKED BANG THE DOLDRUMS

The venue is apparently in a cornfield

Only half the stage got set up :(

The dog is named Blitz (yes it took me till Wisconsin to learn it’s fucking name)

THE EYES ALSO FUCKING GLOW

“People ask us what it was like at old fob shows and the answer is that it was kind of like this, we would just play until the police kicked us out” ~ Pete lol

LIVE DEBUT OF FAME < INFAMY CONGRATS WISCONSIN YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT

No medley tonight (storm delay and strict curfew)

Also the shortest show of the tour so far! They played only 16 songs when they usually play about 27-28 songs (again storm delay and strict curfew)

One of the openers wore a cheesehead apparently!

BMTH’s drumhead says Steve for some reason??

Oli hugged a fan <3

OLI RAN THROUGH THE FUCKING MERCH STANDS

Double rainbow!! (Cincinnati)

LIVE DEBUT OF FAVORITE RECORD

Patrick being proud of himself after performing Favorite Record <3

Joe got a new tattoo entitled Z-Bone for his youngest daughter Zayda! <3

Troll on setlistfm saying they covered Harder, Better, Faster Stronger by Daft Punk lol (Noblesville)

Same troll saying they covered Mr. Brightside by The Killers and I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas

Same troll saying they covered Peaches by Jack Black

Patrick skipping around <3

WHERE DID THE PARTY GO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

Patrick randomly became a wizard during the show and made Pete disappear :3

Pete being a gamer boy on his ig and playing Fortnite <3

The same troll from the other night saying they covered Daft Punk (again) and fucking Nintendo (Cuyahoga Falls)

“I have like, 3 brain cells left” ~ Pete

MEDLEY HAD I’M LIKE LAWYER

Cover of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen!

LIVE DEBUT OF 27

Pete smiling and waving to his two youngest kiddos, Saint and Marvel during Dance Dance <3

A fan also gave Meagan and the kiddos friendship bracelets! (Revealed in the tags in the link above!)

PETE’S IN A SKIRT (Bristow)

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER ACCOUSTIC

TOUR DEBUT OF SHE’S MY WINONA

SHE’S MY WINONA FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2009

I FUCKING PREDICTED SHE’S MY WINONA

New merch for the magic 8 ball! (Charlotte)

Someone the day before the show put an entire fake setlist on setlistfm lol

A Jehovah’s Witness is at the show (slay ig)

And apparently another person randomly preached at the show??

Someone is also barking in the pit??

Lean On Me by Bill Withers cover!!

DEAD ON ARRIVAL FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

S’mores after the show is over on Pete’s story

Oli dedicated Can You Feel My Heart to FOB!

POSSIBLE 7 MINUTES SOUNDCHECK?? (Virginia Beach)

7 MINUTES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

PATRICK PLAYED THE DRUMS

“Sing it with me, honey!” Patrick to Blitz during This Ain’t a Scene

In typical Florida fashion…severe thunderstorm warning to start off the night (West Palm Beach)

Karaoke by the merch stand!

Setlist got leaked!

8 ball hint is gator bites…

Andy is back!!!

PETE’S IN THE SKIRT

THEY COVERED DANCING QUEEN BY ABBA

TELL MICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

ACCIDENTALLY PREDICTED TELL MICK IN MY DMS WITH @frankierosbackbends

DEAD ON ARRIVAL IN PLACE OF CHICAGO TONIGHT (Tampa)

MISS MISSING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2015

ALSO THE TOUR DEBUT OF MISS MISSING YOU

Facebook completely simping for Pete on instagram

Oli dedicated Can You Feel My Heart to FOB again!!

PATRICK MAY HAVE SANG FRICTION IN HIS JEANS (Atlanta)

Played Nothing Compares 2 U in honor of Sinead O’Conner as she passed away </3

LIVE DEBUT OF FROM NOW ON WE ARE ENEMIES

FOB (kinda) ARE IN THE FUCKING BARBIE MOVIE

Pete revealed in the RATS podcast that Saint (his youngest son) drew the backdrop for Blitz! (Clarkston)

William Beckett is at the show for whatever reason??

He also performed Chicago with FOB!

Trolls on setlistfm saying they covered Blood by MCR

Pete falling into the box during Crazy Train

DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I THINK I AM FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

Cover of Coffee Mug by Descendents as a tribute to Milo Auckerman

The crowd booing people who were fighting (Toronto)

Pete also mocking the people that were fighting

THEY CUT LAST OF THE REAL ONES

LIVE DEBUT OF WEST COAST SMOKER

I PREDICTED WEST COAST SMOKER

THE RETURN OF DOUBLE 8 BALL

Oli taking someone’s drink and BMTH posting the person’s reaction on their story (op got a good laugh out of it, I saw the video from their pov!)

Pete playing tennis at the venue just before tonight’s show! (Forest Hills)

PETE IS AIRDROPPING THE NEW GAMES WE PLAY SONG TO FANS

JUST ONE YESTERDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014 FOR MEDLEY

STEREO HEARTS AND CUPIDS CHOKEHOLD FOR MEDLEY AS WELL

TRAVIE FUCKING MCCOY PERFORMED WITH THEM

COVER OF ENTER SANDMAN BY METALLICA

LIVE DEBUT OF I AM MY OWN MUSE

DOUBLE FUCKING 8 BALL AGAIN

TRAVIE SAID GYM CLASS HEROES IS COMING BACK

Oli down in the pit saying “don’t tell Patrick” for whatever reason lol (Boston)

Joe posting a bunch before tonight’s show!!

I’m Shipping up to Boston cover by the Dropkick Murphys!

Cover of Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond!

LIVE DEBUT OF WAMS DURING MEDLEY

XO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

THIRD DOUBLE 8 BALL IN A ROW

“I’m standing in your spotlight now” Patrick to Pete during riff banter!!

“I like it, I like it” Pete to Patrick also during riff banter!!

GET BUSY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2006 FOR MEDLEY (Darien)

Pete saying Patrick has a “teddy bear vibe but he gets the job done”

Patrick also blushed when Pete said that

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF YOU’RE CRASHING

FOURTH DOUBLE 8 BALL IN A ROW

DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’ AND ENTER SANDMAN IN THE SAME NIGHT

Pete saying Patrick reminds him of Josh Allen, the Buffalo Bills quarterback

Patrick also being incredibly confused by the bullet point above lol

Oli dedicated DiE4u to Snooki (Holmdel)

Pete’s bass very briefly caught on fire after The Phoenix…Pete is VERY THANKFULLY okay (this apparently happened at another recent show too)

Dead on Arrival was dedicated to RATS aka Royal & the Serpent!!

“We’re very happy you're part of our family” Pete to someone at their very first FOB show!!! <3

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF I’VE GOT A DARK ALLEY FOR MEDLEY

A mini stage was set up on the lawn for Pete for Dance, Dance!

LIVE DEBUT OF BOB DYLAN

FIFTH DOUBLE 8 BALL IN A ROW

Games We Play played bass for Pete during Saturday!!

Bob Dylan and I Am My Own Muse being labeled as Willie Nelson and Super Smash Bros on the setlist

They randomly played the national anthem at the show?? (It’s apparently a venue thing??)

Gabe Saporta trying to make it to the last show of the NA tour but LAX keeps delaying his flight :( (Camden)

Pete posting food onto his story that is presumably on Patrick’s piano to practice for medley lol

DEAD ON ARRIVAL WITH RATS!!!

Rats requested Dead On Arrival a bunch of times!!

“Awww :(” Patrick after Pete said that this is the last night of the us leg of the tour

JET PACK BLUES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2018 FOR MEDLEY

Jet Pack Blues into I’ve Got a Dark Alley into Golden for medley </3

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF FUCKING PAVLOVE

TRIPLE FUCKING 8 BALL

Somehow fucking predicted a triple 8 ball a couple of days ago 0.0

manicpixiefinalgirl on tiktok started a Joe chant in the pit!!

Hello if you’ve made it this far!! Ty for taking the time to check this out and go through it all!

This will be back for FOB’s Japan shows later this month and for their shows in Europe in October and November, so stay tuned for that!

I had a fantastic time following the North American tour with everyone, can’t wait to do it again with you all soon! :)

[writers-requiem]

Lonely Woes & Fatherly Love

Pairing: Hank McCoy x teen!Reader

Genere: Angst, Depression Comfort

Warnings: mentions of past trauma, suicide attempts, abandonment, drug use, violence and abuse

A/N: Hank isn't actually the reader's dad, just a fatherly figure

Your life was a shit show. There was no getting around it.

One disaster after another with almost no room for a reprieve from it all. Constant feelings of anxiety and depression from failed relationships with family and 'friends'. It was a nightmare without an end. Your parents were part of a drug cartel that you wanted no relation with, your first love had a marijuana addiction and died a year later, all your friends were reckless jerks since primary, and your recent ex made your life even more miserable by constantly comparing you to other people and saying they would be better partners but that he had to be stuck with you.

But that wasn't the worst of it, because not once, not twice, but on five different occasions, you were a ransom hostage and were starved, beaten, and harassed in more ways than you cared to count. Eventually it all culminated with you attempting suicide multiple times but each time being saved by a hero or a some stranger. Making matters worse is that you were only between the ages of 4 and 13 during all that time. And now you're 16

Which leads us to today. You sat alone on a park bench, down on your luck. No food, no house or apartment, not even a penny to get those, and the only solace you have is that you had a jacket to keep yourself away from the cold rain which was pouring buckets.

"Just like every other day..." You said in a solemn, bitter tone.

Your stomach rumbled incessantly, desperate for food and water to sate your hunger and thirst. But all you could get were scraps, and not even that could sate you.

"You seem hungry" a kind male voice said, "I know a dry spot to eat at. Follow me."

The man, dressed in a trench coat and fedora, gently helped you to your feet and gently guided you to the place he spoke of.

Once you had arrived at the location, he took off his fedora revealing his blue furry face. You recognized him as Dr. Hank McCoy or Beast. He had saved you a couple of times before. Once from a hostage situation, and the second from one of your suicide attempts.

"Why did you bring me here?" you asked, your voice tired and strained from days without rest or nourishment.

"Well, I've been keeping an eye on you for a little while now and saw what's been happening with you" he stated in a matter of fact tone accented with worry, "And it seems that fate hasn't been kind to you."

"Never has been..." you said, voice clearly fading from exhaustion and dehydration.

Hank gently wrapped an arm around you and helped you to sit down in the car which you only now noticed since he had opened the door and got you settled in.

Once in the car, he fastened your seatbelt and took his position on the driver's seat and drove off. To where, you couldn't tell since you fell asleep, finally succumbing to the pull of rest.

When you woke up, you found yourself in a comfy bed in an ornate but not too fancy looking room. You also saw that you were covered in bandages and had a cast and sling for your arm. You also weren't wearing your old rags of clothes and were in a white T-shirt and black shorts. Then the door to the room opened, and there walked in a familiar face.

"Oh thank heaven above, you're awake" Hank said with a relieved smile on his face.

"Where am I?" you asked, understandably confused.

"Welcome to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters" he said, "A place that many like you or I would describe as a new home."

This made your ears perk up. "Home?" you asked with a glimmer of hope and longing in your eyes.

"Yes" he said. He then placed the tray of food to the side and gently held your hand and looked at you like a father would with his son after a traumatic event, "And it's your new home too."

He then picked up the spoon and grabbed some soup with it. It was clear what he was trying to do, so you let him slowly spoon-feed you since your free arm was numb and limp. Strangely, it felt like you were with someone you just wanted to call, 'dad'.

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 10 (2/2) - Kirishima’s “roomies forever” party!

Summary: Is it gay to sleep in the same bed as your bro? What about getting married to him?

Warnings: Swear words, KiriBaku centered chapter (NOT platonic)

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Did you fuck before coming here?!” Katsuki yells right as you two stumble through the door. You thought you did a good job at putting Izuku together after your shenanigans but it’s not like you can magically make his swollen lips disappear.

“Kacchan! No! Uhm… we just… kissed a little bit, that’s all.” Izuku’s face is red as the tomato in your little garden thanks to the fact that Katsuki’s yelling made every single person in the room look towards you two.

“Oh my god, is it finally official? You and Y/N?” Mina perks up right away.

“Took them fucking long enough.” Katsuki rolls his eyes and you can’t help but notice that these guys have their own version of “smart casual” because… well…

Katsuki’s dress shirt is messy and his shirt is only half buttoned. Eijirou’s shirt is literally used as a cape. Kaminari looks like a mafia boss. He even has a fancy fedora. Shinsou didn’t even bother to put a dress shirt on he’s just chilling in his hero suit, clearly still on the call. Momo went all out and she looks absolutely stunning in her black dress, Todoroki is wearing the same style as her. He looks like a prince from another era. You don’t need to ask how their first date went after the camp to know those two are a thing now. Those are just a few examples.

“Let them be, Katsuki.” Eijirou puts his hand on Katsuki’s shoulder to calm him down. “Now that everyone is here, let’s start the celebration!” Kirishima yells and the whole gang sits down on the massive sofa.

Okay, let’s stop here for a second. Let’s talk about Katsuki and Eijirou’s place a little bit.

First of all, this place looks absolutely amazing and you can certainly tell who was in charge for decorating the different rooms because the open kitchen is minimalistic and super clean while the living room is full of pictures, knick knacks and colorful little things. There are pictures about their friends, their family but it’s mostly about the two living here; there are Polaroids all over the place, probably taken by Izuku on their camping trips then there is one long strip of them, probably from a Photo Booth - Eijirou is kissing Katsuki’s cheek while the other rolls his eyes annoyedly.

Wait…

“Ahh, you haven’t been here before! Let me give you a tour.” Eijirou literally pulls you away from the picture with his cheeks tinted pink. He puts a glass of champagne in your hand and ushers you to the other end of the room. “So this this is the living room and the kitchen, obviously. The door in front of you leads to the garden and the sauna which is a separate little building on the side. Then you have the gym room here, guest room here…”

“Wait, that’s Kacchan’s bedroom.” Izuku jumps into Eijirou’s sentence, utterly confused.

“Oh, we made it into a gym a few months ago, I was out of space in my bedroom.” The redhead retorts like it’s no biggie.

“Where does Kacchan sleep then?”

“In my room or the guest room. Depends if he’s grumpy or not.”

You can barely conceal your shit eating grin as you look at your boyfriends defeated face.

“Oh, so you… redid your room with two beds and stuff? Is Kacchan okay with sharing his personal space like that?” Izuku tries to save himself but by the confused look on Eijirou’s face, he’s not gonna win.

“Uhm, no, he kinda slept in my bed all the time anyway so his room was never really used…”

“Okay, stop gossiping.” Katsuki takes over as Eijirou starts to stumble over his own words out of embarrassment. “Yes, I sleep in the same bed as Ei. Then what? That room was fucking cold.”

“Oh, that’s why you cuddle me so much?”

Izuku almost chokes on his drink. This is the best day of your life.

“Duh. You are a fucking furnace. Perfect for my needs.”

“You okay, man?” Eijirou pats Deku’s back a few times to help him with out.

“Yeah, uhm… I just didn’t realize you have such a… close relationship… uhm, do you mind if I have a moment with Sweet Pea in the garden? I think I need some fresh air.” Izuku literally runs out the door before even waiting for an answer.

~•🥦•~

“Okay, did you guys talk about this behind my back? Is this a prank? And if not, how did I miss this? Actually, why did they not tell me? Am I not Kacchan’s friend? Am I not important enough to…” Izuku starts to mutter right away.

“Izuku, calm down.” You giggle as you pull him closer. “No, I did not tell them anything and I swear I have nothing to do with this even if it is actually a prank. I’m just as surprised as you are. Not about then sleeping in the same bed but about the fact that they admit it.”

“Oh my god, I feel like my whole world just turned upside down, Sweets. They are my best friends…”

“Calm your pretty tits, maybe they just sleep in the same bed to save some space. Don’t think too much about it for now.”

It’s so hard not to yell “I WAS RIGHT”. So fucking hard.

“Did you really need to comment on my tits? I know this shirt is a little bit too tight…”

“I had to. I like it. Now let’s get back, it looks like Eijirou is about to make a speech.”

~•🥦•~

“I’m so glad so many of you managed to get the night off. I know Hitoshi, Ochako and Iida has to go soon so I’ll do this now instead of waiting until the end of the night.” Eijirou starts his speech in his now buttoned shirt. He even managed to get a tie from somewhere. He looks weirdly anxious compared to his usual, bubbly self. “Katsuki and I have been through a lot together… hell, we’ve all been. We fought a war, we got hurt, we lost people who were close to us, we cried, we smiled, we re-learned how to live a normal life together.” The whole team nods at that, their faces already teary as Eijirou goes on. “Katsuki saved me from myself. I hated who I was, I hated my quirk but Katsuki slapped me in the face and made me believe that even I can achieve big things if I try hard enough. Uhm… how was it again?” Eijirou pulls out a little paper from his pocket to take a look and the whole gang laughs. “Duh, of course I had to memorize this, I ain’t a fucking Coelho. So back to what I was about to say… yeah, so… it has been 7 years since we moved in together and I still remember the day Katsuki told me that I have no choice but to move in with him after graduation. I was terrified but also so fucking happy because while I was extremely excited to be a hero and love my own life I just couldn’t see myself without him by my side. I was afraid that I’ll loose contact with all of you. But here we are, the Bakusquad, still together. But… Kats, can you come over here?”

Katsuki looks like a deer in the headlights as Mina ushers him to stand up and go over with a knowing smile on her face. Katsuki stands right next to Eijirou who looks at him like he’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen.

“Uhm… I fucking forgot what I was about to say but you know what, fuck it.” Eijirou mutters with tears in his eyes. Izuku looks mortified. “I feel like I have everything I wanted as a teen; I have a beautiful flat I’m sharing with my best friend, I have the greatest friends and the greatest job. But there is one thing I don’t have; a partner who I know will be with me until death pulls us apart.”

The whole gang goes silent. Izuku chokes on his drink again.

“The fuck are you…” Katsuki is about to yell at him, offended, but Kirishima stops him by putting his palm on his mouth.

“Katsuki. We’ve been living together for 7 years and while I know I’m being selfish right now but…” Eijirou GOES DOWN ON ONE FUCKING KNEE. “Can you promise me you’ll be my roommate forever?”

Mina cries like a baby while the rest of the gang gawks at the two bozos, completely dumbfounded. You have no idea how to react. Izuku.exe has stopped working completely next to you.

“Eijirou, what the actual fuck are you doing right now?!” Katsuki mumbles with a red face.

“I’m asking you to be my roommate forever? Is that weird? I thought it’s really manly…”

“Eijirou, you just went down and one knee and proposed to me. Look at Iida’s confused fucking face! Deku is having a stroke!” Katsuki yells at the puppy eyed redhead who looks so gobsmacked you kinda want to hug him.

“That wasn’t my intention, but like… I do have a ring too…”

“You have a what.”

Momo gaps dramatically in the background. You try your best not to laugh.

“A ring. A roomies forever ring.” Eijirou takes out a really expensive ring box from his pocket with a sad face. Katsuki is about to explode. So is Deku.

“Well, first of all, fuck you.” Katsuki yells at the poor guy again. “Because I also have a fucking ring. So now we have two.”

Well, that’s a fucking plotwist, innit?!

“What…?!”

“… And it’s not like I’m gonna get a fucking boyfriend or a girlfriend if I sleep in your fucking bed so we might as well just get fucking married.”

“OHMYFUCKINGGODIMHYPERVENTILLATINGIFUCKINGKNEWIT”

Uhm, that was Mina. You didn’t really understand a single world but she’s clearly fucking excited.

Katsuki fucking Bakugou gets down on one knee too. He takes out an even more expensive ring and he doesn’t even wait for Eijirou to get out of his stupor before he shoves the ring on Eijirou’s finger. “You are stuck with me now. For fucking ever just how you wanted. I hate you for doing this right in front of everyone by the way, I wanted to do this after everyone leaves.”

“Kats…”

This is when Izuku absolutely loses his shit. You can see it in his eyes.

Because the next moment, Eijirou jumps into Katsuki’s arms and kisses him on the lips right in front of everyone. And the kiss doesn’t look like it’s the first one they’ve ever shared.

You don’t have the heart to be giddy about being right because Izuku looks absolutely heartbroken by the sight.

“Let’s go home.” Izuku stands up abruptly. You try to pull him back on the sofa but he’s relentless.

“Don’t make a scene. I know you are mad, but don’t ruin this for them.”

Katsuki, being the perceptive guy he is, looks up at you two right away. He doesn’t need to say anything to Eijirou because just as he takes a look at you two he lets Katsuki go, probably knowing this conversation is a must.

“Izuku, come with me. You too.” Katsuki sighs while the others make their ways to congratulate Eijirou for staying alive after all the shit he just pulled.

You really want to congratulate the two and tell them you shipped them before they went official but seeing Izuku’s face right now, half a second from crying, you decide to just go after Katsuki, pulling the frozen greenhead after you. You two end up in the garden and Katsuki sits down on the bench with a frown on his face; he’s clearly trying his best to choose his words properly and not make the situation worse.

“Look, I’m sorry.” Katsuki murmurs with his hands deep in his hair, clearly just as frustrated as Izuku himself. “You know I’m not into the whole… love thing and this… this is new. Well, almost… ah fuck, this is so awkward.” He sighs. “5 years ago… We… did some stuff. I was telling Eijirou about me not understanding what’s the big deal about kissing. I was twenty and still a virgin and I was just… fed up. And it escalated. Then we never talked about it ever again… until you called us, crying about how you don’t want to loose your Sweet Pea and then Eijirou told you the whole story and said he… he loves me and honestly, I was feeling the same or whatever so we… decided to… just be together and stop pretending that we are not… attracted to each other. Honestly, not a lot of things has changed since then, I used to sleep in his bed for years anyway. We were… a couple without even realizing it.”

“I didn’t even know you are gay, Katsuki.” Izuku mutters with tears in his eyes. You really want to hug him.

“Don’t fucking call me Katsuki! And it’s no one’s business! I haven’t told the hag either. I didn’t think I’ll ever be in a situation when it matters. Also, I don’t think I’m gay. I’ve never cared about anyone this way except for him. Never. I already said sorry so stop looking at me like I pulled Auntie Inko’s hair and be my best fucking man when this shit escalates.”

“Oh my god.” You mumble in a high pitched voice. Oh my god, this is happening. Oh my…

“Me?” Izuku freezes, for the third time today.

“What the fuck? Who the fuck else? You are my fucking nerdy, annoying brother from another mother, of course it needs to be you.”

Izuku cries a river. Literally. You decide to leave these two alone after seeing Deku moving into Katsuki’s personal space and hugging him, because even though you know the two don’t mind your presence when it comes to emotional stuff, hell, Katsuki literally opened up to you on the first day, but somehow, this felt so intimate you started to feel like an intruder.

You make your way back inside and Eijirou clocks you right away; he smiles from the other side of the room, his face so happy it makes your heart melt just from looking at him.

“Talk about surprises, right?” He scratches the back of his head self-deprecatingly.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I knew this the first moment I’ve met you two. I’ve been teasing Izu with it for ages.” You give him a cheeky grin back.

“Will he be okay?” The conversation is suddenly turning serious; Kirishima’s smile disappears for a second, worry etched all over his face as he waits for your answer. Katsuki not telling Izuku is one thing but Eijirou? You have no idea how the guy managed to keep this a secret for so long. It must have been terrible, Eijirou is all about gossip on a usual day and he wears his heart on his sleeves every single second.

“I’m not going to lie, he was really upset, but Katsuki just asked him to be his best man, and now he’s crying like a baby in his arms, so…”

For your surprise, Eijirou starts ugly crying just as you finish your sentence.

“That’s so manly, goddamnit!” It only takes him half a second to crush into you, suffocating you with his massive body, absolutely not bothered by your terrified yelp as you try to breathe and fail.

Well… today was full of surprises, that’s for sure, but you are so happy to be able to live such a wonderful and exciting life, a life full of surprises and love and oh fuck, how did you get so lucky?

It’s really hard not to start stressing about what comes next; life has been way too kind to you and everything is so perfect but… life can’t be this is easy, can it? Something must be on the way, something bad, something dark and menacing but you decide to hide this terrible thought under the hypothetical rug in your mind palace for now, knowing that whatever comes your way, if these people are still by your side, it can’t be that bad.

… this is what you thought back then. That it can’t be that bad… but life had other plans for you two.

The pink clouds shattered with the static of the TV, with the constant buzz of your phone. With Eijirou’s trembling voice, trying to stay strong for you.

You didn’t know there is a New Era coming your way, one that will probably be called a horrific name in the history books, something dramatic, something easy to remember, but terrible nonetheless.

Something like… the falling of the Number One.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Mina was wearing an extremely short skirt and a tank top that barely hid anything. In case you wondered. She’s cool like that.

- Why did they remake Katsuki’s room into the gym and not the guest room? Because they literally came up with that idea after they officially got together so they knew that room won’t be used anymore. There is an extra I have half-written if you guys want to know the full story behind those two so please leave a comment if you want me to post it in the future!

- In the original script they didn’t actually engage in this chapter, or at least not in front of everyone. Katsuki was supposed to pull Eijirou into his room and yell at him about his “easy to misinterpret” actions but he would’ve said yes to the proposal anyway but play dumb through the whole night and deny it, making the whole gang confused about what the fuck is going on but then as you know, my characters have a mind of their own and this happened. I remember making a dramatic gasp when Katsuki pulled out another ring because I genuinely didn’t know that’s gonna happen lol should I see a doctor? I probably should. 😂

- While I have the next chapter written already it might be a bit late and the reason is that I want to have the next one ready so you guys don’t need to wait for longer than a week for it because uhm… it ends with a massive cliffhanger. So get tissues and book an appointment with your therapist if you have one. If not, find one. Or don’t read it until the next one is out. That’s probably cheaper. I’m sorry in advance. My bestie @porusuniverse already read the chapter and I’m quite sure she almost had a meltdown by the end of it. 😂😇

If you like this story, please leave a comment! Likes and reblogs are also appreciated! 🥦

TL: @garfieldthomas @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @katsuari @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165 @unofficialmuilover @yao-ai @happydragonfrog @eeerreehhh @vinivave

[ghoul-foolery]

Dirty Windows | 23

Hancock x Nora - A Fallout 4 Soulmate AU

//

Fic Summary:

Hancock never thought he would find his soulmate. Once a common occurrence, soulmates turned into a bit of a rarity after the bombs dropped. It was to be expected when there was an influx of people getting shot in the face on a daily basis. So when Hancock discovered that he had a soulmate he was ecstatic; all of the people in the Commonwealth, and he was one of the lucky few.

Too bad his soulmate didn't want anything to do with him.

//

[ 1 ] <- [ 18 ] [ 19 ] [ 20 ] [ 21 ] [ 22 ] - [ 24 ]

TW: Mentions of sex trafficking

//

If there was a single thing Hancock had learned while under the oppressive weight of his predecessor’s thumb, it was the fact that anything and everything could be bought. Sex, drugs, muscle; everything was for sale so long as you knew the right people and had the right amount of caps. Rumors and secrets could even be considered a hot commodity if the stakes were just right. And there were a scant handful of people roaming the Commonwealth gathering and selling information. It was just a matter of tracking them down.

Thankfully Hancock knew enough shady assholes that the search wasn’t overly long, or even particularly difficult. After supplying the right person with the right kind of chems, and caps he was approached to arrange a meeting a couple of days later. The meeting location was some abandoned diner out near the bay — and everything else fell into place. There were days where he wanted to abandon the whole Mayor gig; call it a day, pass on the title, and melt into drug-addled obscurity. And sometimes being the Mayor of Goodneighbor came with enough perks that he was glad he stuck around. After a couple days of waiting around, and another half of a day to travel to the little abandoned diner (not because of distance, but because fuck the Bay Area, and all it’s hiding places, in particular), and then after doing a sweep of the place he waited some more. 

The place was another dilapidated chunk of building in a veritable sea of bigger derelict buildings. The windows had been boarded up, and the signage was faded, but portions of the inside were almost suspiciously clean. The bar top was mostly pristine. Booths tucked up against the boarded windows were notably devoid of dust but the tables were littered with old candles and wax. It was easy to assume that the little diner was someone’s go-to location for meetings. 

Hancock burned time with cigarettes and melting old wax with his lighter. As the sun started to fade, and stopped filtering in through sparse roofing, Hancock lit the remains of the melted down candles. He’d brought an old flashlight just in case — along with a bag of caps — but he didn’t mind using the candles. It added a bit of drama to the setting.

The broker didn’t arrive until it was dark. He entered the diner in a swirl of clothing — a trench coat so long it swept against the floor. There was a dark fedora pushed down low over his eyes. The room was lit by candles and slices of moonlight and he was wearing fucking sunglasses. As a fellow costumed freak, Hancock couldn’t help but think the guy was some kind of vigilante wannabe. Very Silver Shroud if the Shroud sucked. Hancock wondered if he could pay the guy to visit Kent. Just for fun. Just to give the old ghoul something to talk about.

“Before we begin, you will disarm. Put any weapons you have on the bar. Then sit back down. I have an armed guard waiting outside.”

Hancock slid from the booth. 

“What’s in the bag?”

“Caps and a flashlight, brother. You’re more than welcome to check.”

When he was met with silence, he crossed the room to the bar. His sawed-off was pulled from his thigh holster and placed on the counter. It was followed by his bowie knife. On the way back to the booth, he counted his steps. Just in case. It was roughly ten paces between him and his weapons. If each step he took was roughly two and a half-ish feet…

Hancock slipped back into his seat just as Not-Silver-Shroud pulled a collection of taper candles from his trench coat pocket. He lit them without a word, using the already lit candle, and then he mashed the stems into the softened wax to secure them to the table. Once the guy settled into the seat across from him, he leaned back.

“How can I be of service this evening?” The guy was pitching his voice into a lower register, it put just enough strain on his voice that it was easy to pick up.

Hancock fished his flask from his pocket and took a swig, then he went hunting for his cigarettes. He let the silence hang between them as he lit up, leaning forward to use one of the fresh candles. A puff of the cigarette bought him time to collect his thoughts and think things through. There was a right way and a wrong way to go about this. He couldn’t just go straight to the “tell me where Cecil is so I can kill him” of the thing.

“I’m in the market for a companion.”

“A companion,” the man echoed thoughtfully.

If the fucker had done his homework, he would have known that despite the fact that the Mayor of Goodneighbor was bit of a delinquent, a kingpin, an alcoholic and an addict, he still had morals. Consent was big in Hancock’s book. It was fucking huge. Sex work was real work until it involved buying someone against their will, and that’s where it turned into a killing offense. Not-Silver-Shroud didn’t seem to know that though. Hancock was a ghoul, a gross creature who most certainly had to buy their sex partners, right? The Brotherhood of Steel, and people like Hancock’s brother, made people think that ghouls were monstrous, subhuman creatures. Hancock would lean into the misinformation if it suited him. 

“I heard there was one of those vaulties running around somewhere. I’ll be honest, I’d love to get my hands on one of them,” Hancock drawled, forcing out a wistful sigh. 

The smile that creased the man’s features was borderline sinister. It was a dark look, a knowing look. Hancock didn’t want to know what the smile meant for fear that he might kill the bastard before he got what he needed. 

“It just so happens,” the man said, all smug. “Some pretty smoothskin did just crawl out of a local vault recently. If you’re interested in someone like her in particular, it would be best to make a move on her now, before word gets out any more than it has. She might fall into the hands of someone not willing to sell.”

Oh, wow. 

He felt like committing murder. The slow, calculated, kind.

Hancock settled back into his seat, draping one of his arms over the back. He flicked some ash to the table, then placed the cigarette back in his mouth as he made a show of thinking things through. In reality he was doing his best to keep his composure. Another puff and he was pinching off the end of the cigarette so he could save the rest for later. He placed it back into the pack, then shoved it back into his pocket. 

“You’d be the man t’ask if the word has gotten out or not.”

That smile again, slow and daunting, “And information like that will cost you.”

So they started the game. 

It took caps to divulge just how many people Not-Shroud had told about the vault girl; four, including Hancock. That was three too many. Clearly enough for some asshole to send some goons after his girl. The caps were pulled from his travel bag, bunched in pre-counted wraps of burlap. Black-gloved fingers swiped the offered caps on the waxy table.

“Before I cough up any more money, what’s this vaultie look like?” When the broker looked uncertain, Hancock shrugged. “Just wanna make sure she’s my type.”

Just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t some other poor, fuckin’ oblivious vault dweller wandering the Commonwealth without a gun or a clue.  

“Red hair, green eyes,” was all the man said. Apparently that sort of information was free, enough to catch a man’s attention, enough to get the hook in place, enough to get them to pay for more. “Apparently has all her teeth - all straight, and white. Pre-war figure, like the pin-ups.” Boy, did she. All pretty and soft. Though, he supposed it was easy to compare her to a pin-up when so many living in post-war America were skin and bone. “Real cute, or so I was told.” 

The rage that Hancock felt was staggering, it made his hands shake and his pulse leap in his throat. He swallowed, trying to keep his cool when all he wanted to do was get his knife and drive the blade into the fucker’s head. He was spreading word about Nora – his Nora. There was no doubt, no question about it. Even if it wasn’t Nora, some poor person had the wrong kinda eyes on them and that wasn’t okay. He’d stop it.

“Fuck,” he managed to rasp.

No response, just a gloved fingertip gently tapping against the table’s surface. Hancock dug into his bag again. It was another allotment of caps to get a general heading; North. Nora was North. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The game continued on like that for far too long. Not-Shroud would let bits of information slip, enough to peak curiosity, enough for a potential buyer to ask more questions and put down more caps. Hancock played. He gathered enough details that he was starting to suspect that someone in the Sanctuary Hills settlement was selling some information of their own.

“I heard there was a guy that I might be able to buy from if hunting the vaultie doesn’t go down as planned. Don’t suppose you know a guy named Cecil, do you? Heard he had some decent merchandise.”

The man’s index finger tapped the table, “Well, perhaps…”

More caps, more prodding for information. 

“Cecil runs one of the better operations here in the Commonwealth by way of premium stock.” Stock. Humans. People. “You’ll have to go through his man to schedule a meeting unless you’d like a hand with that.”

“Just need t’know who I’m looking for and where.”

Before the man even had to start tapping his finger, Hancock tossed more caps onto the table. Cecil had a guy in Bunker Hill who went by Gerard. Fucking-A, he was going to shut this shit down. He was going to take down this guy before he could get to Nora, and he was going to save everyone he could along the way.

“If you want, I can set up the meeting,” Not-Silver-Shroud said again.

“Nah, brother,” Hancock said. “I think you’ve cleaned me out of caps for the night. Might as well give you the bag to pack everything out of here.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, and made a show of sighing before he reached out to shake the guy’s hand. Thousands of caps had been passed around in this little goddamn meeting. What a racket. “Thanks for the information.”

The Broker gathered his money into a travel bag he had brought. The guy blew out his candles, but didn’t bother to gather them. He left them on the table. A go-to meeting spot indeed. 

“Wait five minutes and then you are free to leave,” the broker instructed, then left the diner with a swirl of his dumb oversized coat. Hancock did not wait five minutes. Leaving his gun on the bar, he waited just a beat – long enough to relight his cigarette and fish his flashlight from his bag. When he pushed the door open he wasn’t at all surprised to see the broker, along with his guard. He was a big sonnova bitch, too. Armed to the teeth, gun already in his hand. “I told you to wait–”

“Hey, man,” Hancock turned on the flashlight, pointing it straight at the Broker. “I just wanted to say it was a real pleasure doing business with ya.” His cigarette waved between his lips as he spoke, his free hand reaching up to flick the front corner of his hat.

It wasn’t a second later, not even a full heartbeat, when there was a crack of noise and the Broker’s head exploded all over the side of the old diner. The Broker’s guard raised his weapon, leveling the barrel at Hancock. The flashlight was aimed at the guard. On an exhale, as smoke seeped between him and his attacker, there was another explosion of gunfire that pierced the night. The poor nameless guard dropped to the ground in a heap.

Hancock meandered over to the Broker’s body. Rolling him over with a push of his foot, he stooped down to grab the bag of caps. “I’ll just be takin’ these back.”

It was roughly 20 minutes later, as Hancock was navigating his way through the abandoned streets of downtown Boston, when he was joined by former Gunner, RJ MacCready. The man emerged from the shadows of a nearby building almost too casually, that mean ol’ rifle of his slung over his shoulder. His hat drawn down low over his eyes, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“So? How’d it go?” The kid was good. On the best of days, MacCready was a little shithead, but he was Hancock’s little shit head. MacCready had become someone that Hancock knew he could rely on, and that was the sort that Hancock needed.

“Ah, ya know, it went fuckin’ swell. Just swell.”

“Sure it did. That’s why you look like you’re gonna break someone’s neck.”

Nora was safe at the moment, still hanging around the Slog when he had checked on her a few hours ago. He had peaked in on her and gave her a fair warning not to make a surprise visit unless it was dire. She seemed awfully fond of the place, and had grown attached to some old ghoul named Arlen. He had watched the two interact, and he was a fatherly sort – and Nora needed that kind of support. For the first time in days, she was content if not happy, and he didn’t want to disrupt that by telling her that someone had sold information about her. But he couldn't just let this shit rest, either.

“Hey, brother,” he said to MacCready, as they walked. “What are your per diem rates?”

//

Tag List: @takottai / @a-little-pebbl  / @yamatra

[zvmz]

A Few Sparrow Hood HCs <3

hes banned from most of the stores right outside eah

for shoplifting or playing his guitar super loud

his dad has had to bail him out of jail multiple times. he doesn't mind, though. in fact, robin hood is proud of sparrow for following his destiny, and theyre rich anyway so its no trouble. he only gets frustrated at the fact his son keeps getting caught.

sparrow is saving up money for a motorcycle. he used to ask for one every christmas from ages 4-10

he listens to tv girl obsessively. he's embarrassed about it.

he doesn't own headphones because he "doesn't believe good music should be kept to yourself"

he loves meeting new people. his go-to conversation starter is "what kind of music do you listen to?" and then he judges them based on their response

he very much prefers kanye over taylor

he says he hated the barbie movie but immediately bought a "im kenough" sweater

he can run really fast in womens high heels for some reason

his tree house has a zip line which he lets briar use whenever she wants

he's a total mommas boy. his momma is the only person he listens to

he collects cds and posters, he puts them all over the walls and even the ceiling

duchess steals his jewelry

he does all his shopping at thrift stores. not that he actually pays.

he's very good at writing essays, but always cheats

he wears eyeliner

he has so much clothes he can go almost a month without wearing any of the same clothes twice

guys he does NOT wear a fedora like in the show. that is disgusting

[howdoyoudothedew]

Rated: T

Pairing: Gen, Akako & Kaito, Akako & Hakuba

Word Count: ~1k

A/N: A bit of canon-typical violence

Akako was willing to let a lot go. Despite what Kuroba may say, she has patience. She has a lot of patience. It’s honestly amazing just how patient she is.

This is where her patience snaps. Her fists tighten.

There wasn’t really a lot to do today. It was saturday and Akako planned for it to be a quiet day. She’d watch a few movies she’s been putting off, eat popcorn, and maybe use her crystal ball to check in on Kuroba’s heist. But during the second movie, she feels an uncomfortable pinch. A feeling she can’t explain, one she’s never felt before, but something similar to a hose being bent and the water being forced to a trickle. She scrambles from the couch, calling her crystal ball to her and waving it through her friends. Aoko is in her kitchen, humming with the news of the night’s KID heist in the background. Hakuba is running outside, fear in his eyes. Kuroba is hanging off a fence, the spike of it sticking out through his back and blood seeping from the tear in his jacket to the dirt. His hang glider is splayed out beside him, broken and useless. He is going to die. It pings through Akako, the pinch now a burn, and she knows with certainty he won’t live past this night unless she intervenes. One of his crows has finally managed to break his wings and hold him so he can’t escape. Except this crow has apparently become a shrike. Her teeth grit. Her fists tighten. Before she fully thinks of it, she is by Kaito’s side.

The first thing she registers is the noises Kuroba is making. Small whines and quick, labored breaths. The second thing she registers is a gunshot and the sound of Hakuba crumpling. The third is a large man, wearing a black fedora and trench coat. Kuroba’s unlucky shrike. When the man turns back to Kuroba, he jumps.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” He snarls, raising the pistol he’d used to shoot Kuroba and Hakuba to align with her heart. She gives it an unimpressed look.

“Hell,” Akako says, looking up at him with a smile. She’s lying, of course. Tea with Lucifer only happens on the third friday of a month, and this is the beginning of the month. The man’s lip curls.

“Akako?” Hakuba whispers, looking up, and Akako inclines her head. It was enough already to have her magic tell her Hakuba wasn’t dead. She appreciates the confirmation nonetheless.

“Then let me send you back,” he says and pulls the trigger. The bullet flies toward her, its path and their close distance no doubt allowing for great damage and most likely death. If she were normal. If she weren’t a powerful witch. (Quite possibly the most powerful red witch alive, if you ask her.) But she is not normal, and is in fact quite pissed off at this man damaging two of her favourite things, so she stands still in the path of the bullet instead of dodging so this man can see just how much damage his little toy does not do. The man’s jaw drops when all it causes is a brief stumble, the force rocking her back as the bullet clatters harmlessly to the pavement. He fires twice more with the same results, his hand shaking. One of the bullets flies slightly off course and nearly strikes Kuroba. She mutters a spell and the bullet oozes to the ground, the kinetic energy transferring to thermal and melting the iron. The man drops the gun.

“Finished?” Akako asks with a smirk, flicking her wrist to send the gun spinning toward Hakuba before the man can say anything. He splutters, eyes snapping to the gun before returning to her. When she takes a step forward he takes a step back. “Are you afraid of me? Good.”

He glares at her, angered. “I don’t know who or what the fuck you are, but you don’t know who you’re messing with. I am part of a very powerful organization.”

Akako laughs, hand over her mouth like one of those 90s villains in the magical girl animes Aoko and Kuroba like to watch so much. He flinches back a step and she takes a breath to reign herself in. Or at least reign in the laughter. There’s been enough holding back, she thinks. She’s allowed the organization to play, because she knows Kuroba likes the show and Hakuba likes the chase. Because she doesn’t make a habit of placing her hands within dishes which don’t concern her. But they have very much made themselves her problem now, and she thinks maybe she has let them play for too long.

“You think what hides in the shadows is true power,” Akako says, tilting her head. “But you’ve never witnessed it before. Never seen even a taste of what they have you chase. None of you have, but they will all learn.”

“For who I am, I am no Kaitou KID, nor am I a mistaken curse like Pandora. I am not some crow hiding in the shadows, make-pretending power.” Akako straightens, expression flat but fierce. Her eyes flash like blood, like violence, like impending doom. “I am a true magician and I do not like having my things broken. I am a descendant of Sekhmet and I take my payments in blood.”

The man pales behind the shadows of his fedora. “You don’t even have a weapon,” he spits, wavered.

Akako smiles. “Cute. You think I need a weapon.” She waves her hand and the shrike falls to his knees, hacking up black bile. Akako turns to Kuroba, and her mind stutters a moment on his impalement. Disease she can do, but healing is something the Koizumi line lost long ago. All she can do is send him to the hospital and hope they are quick enough.

“Hakuba,” Akako says.

“Yes?” Hakuba says, looking away from the shrike to her. She looks him over, checks for where the blood pools. It’s in his side. The bullet which hung Kuroba truly was simply a lucky shot.

Or, perhaps, a very unlucky shot.

“Watch over Kuroba. And perhaps tell him you found him there after a watchful eye sent a note to your own room?” Akako says. Akako asks. Hakuba nods. “We wouldn’t want him to throw a tantrum.”

“He can be quite a kid when the mood strikes him,” Hakuba agrees with a pained smirk. The way he’s only looked at Kuroba once doesn’t escape her notice. “And you, Lady Akako?”

“I have work to do,” Akako says and sends them off, only KID’s suit left behind, impaled on a spike.

The sun rises in the morning with reports of several buildings razed to the ground, leaving nothing but ash in their wake; multiple cases of spontaneous combustion; and one unlucky dead man in a highrise, face locked in pain and diseased lines of red scarred deep into his skin, all leading out from a javelin-like wound in his torso.

Later that morning a first grader gets a packet filled with several files of research with a note taped to it, telling her it’s from “one fate-breaker to another”.

Kuroba Kaito wakes several days later to two worried parents, a worried sister, a detective in a cast, and one witch. He stares at the witch in surprise and says nothing when she tells him he’ll have to continue his search without the crow’s aid.

[scary-tingz]

Slashers + Their Merchandise

A/N: Spirit Halloween is finally back.. and of course I needed to go for my costume and obligatory mug. Here’s the slashers and their thoughts on a reader who collects their merchandise.

Slashers Included: Michael Myers (any), Bubba Sawyer, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Ghostface, Chucky

Warnings/Tags: SFW, can be interpreted as romantic or platonic, regular reader and victim reader included

Michael Myers

If there’s one thing every Myers has in common, it’s ego.

Michael has already made up his mind, he’s going to allow you to live and accept you as his own, so whether or not you’re a fan is of no concern to him…

But it does feel nice. To be recognized, praised, admired even.

He can’t help but feel a fondness towards your little hobby of collecting merch of his, even if it is silly stuff like mugs with his face on them. To him, it only cements your loyalty and reaffirms his belief that he’s a great killer. I mean, you have to kill a lot to get your own merchandise and tourist based knickknacks, right?

He may feel a little jealous if you collect merch for other slashers though. Don’t be surprised if you find your Freddy fedora in the trash or something like that.

If he were to pursue you as an unlucky victim only to find out you were a fan, he wouldn’t spare you but he’d try to make your death special in some way. He has his reasons for killing you, but that doesn’t mean he won’t give a fan a proper show…

Bubba Sawyer (and co.)

Bubba likely didn’t even know about their merch at first, and doesn’t really know what to make of it.

They respect it as a cool little hobby of yours, thinks it’s sweet that you’d show interest in the things he does.

Chop Top and Nubs get a real hoot out of it, they probably sell Bubs on the idea of the merch since she values family so much. Anything her brothers are so fond of must be good, right?

Drayton likely isn’t a fan. The fact that the murders are well known enough to become a local story with souvenirs and everything makes him even more paranoid than before, so I doubt he approves.

That doesn’t mean you won’t catch Bubba wearing one of those “I Saw Texas” shirts on laundry day though.

Killing a fan would likely make him very sad though. An outsider who actually likes him is something he never thought possible, so once again Bubs is forced to kill his only connection to a person from the outside world… He’ll try to be merciful.

Freddy Krueger

If you think Michael is full of himself, you haven’t met Freddy. Myers seems humble in comparison.

He will actively complain if you buy merch for other slashers instead of his, if you don’t have a shrine before October is out you’re doing something wrong!

I’m sure somewhere in his own little realm he has a museum dedicated to himself, and he’d gladly let you borrow an old little number of his to wear as a costume.

Will 100% call you basic for buying anything Haddonfield related but the ultimate sin is buying anything Jason or Camp Crystal Lake themed.

He was already salty that you were looking at other slashers, but JASON?! He’ll get you for that one, and your little dog too!

If you’re already a victim and he finds out you’re a fan of his work, it adds an extra layer of sick pleasure to the killing. What better way to snuff out a fan than to kill them himself? You like his murders so much, fine, he’ll murder you.

Jason Voorhees

Confused at first. There’s this mug in his cabinet all of the sudden that looks just like him, when the hell did that happen? Maybe you got a new skill and made it, impressive. Then he sees hockey jerseys with his mask on them, big goofy plastic machetes just like his… Where the hell is all this coming from?

He asks you about it and when you tell him there’s a store that sells things with his likeness he doesn’t know how to feel. Flattered? Insulted? Undeserving?

He’s still not sure, but seeing you enjoy yourself while putting the items to good use makes him happy… So he accepts it.

Jason would likely spare an average fan outside of his camp, especially if you’re younger and see him as an icon for the misunderstood. But if you’re an obsessive fan, willfully encroaching on his territory in search of relics or sightings, he’ll kill you. It crosses a line into disrespectful territory in his eyes, as he’s very sensitive about his past.

Ghostface

You really know how to get on his good side, don’t you?

Every Ghostface is an egotistical megalomaniac, and you being a fan just makes it so, so much worse.

Especially if you guys are living together and/or know each other outside of his life of crime… Bonus points if you’re unaware of that fact, excitedly showing him a piece of merch you paid way too much for while he smiles down at you. How cute.

It motivates him to add a bit more panache to his killings this year, maybe he’ll even write a little message to the fans in the victim’s blood… Though it’s clearly meant for you.

He will definitely collect merch for other slashers with you, he probably already has a sizable collection himself! He harbors no jealousy towards the classic slashers, only admiration. Newer slashers though… He might have a little competition with.

The classics are classic for a reason, you know… They just don’t do it like they used to, only he can truly capture the art of killing!

Chucky/Tiffany

He finds it hilarious but will constantly complain about how it doesn’t capture his likeness well enough, like a Flynn Rider poster situation.

He will definitely bully you about it but will also get upset if you stop collecting because of his teasing, so don’t mind him!

Tiffany loves it though, thinks it’s the cutest thing how much you admire them. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s been collecting Chucky’s merch for a while now, but it’s hard to keep the collection updated when she’s always moving.

Despite his complaining, you can and will find him drinking his morning coffee out of a mug shaped like his head.

If you find a shirt his size he might wear it if he’s going undercover, just for the sake of irony.

Tiff loves those Good Guy sweaters you find at Spirit Halloween, and those stupid lil knife purses too! She’d wear those things year round if she could.

Chuck would definitely wear a Tiffany costume if he was in a femme body, but aggressively refuses otherwise. He thinks it’s not hot if he’s a dude.

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

I'm curious, in which decade of the 18th century does the part of the story in Varney the Vampire with the Bannerworth Family take place? do you have a estimation?

oh, what a fantastic question. the short answer: time in varney the vampire is so convoluted that it is impossible to give an estimation, so i said "fuck it" and put them, arbitrarily, in the 1740s.

but hey, let's try to estimate it anyway!

first off, wikipedia says the story is "ostensibly set in the early 18th century." i have no idea where they're getting this claim. this story is not "ostensibly" set anywhere. it has 0 ostensibility. it doesn't ostense anything. the details i am about to dig up in order to sleuth together the timeframe are the type of nitpicky specifics only likely to be picked up by a Category 5 Autism Moment, or possibly someone putting together their phd thesis. without further ado!

our first clue as to the timeframe of varney the vampire comes in the introduction, with the following line:

Nothing has been omitted in the life of the unhappy Varney, which could tend to throw a light upon his most extraordinary career, and the fact of his death just as it is here related, made a great noise at the time through Europe and is to be found in the public prints for the year 1713.

this is, as we'll see, complete bullshit.

now let's have a look at the illustrations! they are also complete bullshit. judging from the clothing the characters are wearing, they could be anywhere from the mid-17th century...

...to the early 18th century...

...to the late 18th century (pictured: admiral bell. those turned-back lapels weren't added to the british naval uniform until 1767)...

...to the 1840s...

...to...the 1940s??? (i'm not the only one who thinks this looks like a trench coat and a fedora, right?)

so, clearly those aren't an indicator of anything. surely there must be clues in the story itself though, right?

haha. well. about that.

our first clue comes early in the story, when the bannerworths are investigating their family crypt, on the hunch that the vampire (not yet identified as varney) is one of their ancestors. specifically, they suspect a guy named either runnagate or marmaduke (his name changes halfway through) who died 100 years ago. so find out when he died, add 100 years, and we have the time of the story, easy!

"What says it?" "Ye mortale remains of Marmaduke Bannerworth, Yeoman. God reste his soule. A.D. 1540." "It is the plate belonging to his coffin," said Henry,

okay, so it sounds like the story takes place around 1640! good work team, let's--

By the combined light of the candles they saw the words,— "Marmaduke Bannerworth, Yeoman, 1640." "Yes, there can be no mistake here," said Henry. "This is the coffin, and it shall be opened."

...ah.

so, with no way to know which it is, let's try a different approach. perhaps there are clues within the story that will let us place it in a historical context, such as references to historical figures.

As the chaise drove up to the door of the inn, this man made an observation to the other to the following effect,— "A-hoy!" "Well, you lubber, what now?" cried the other. "They call this the Nelson's Arms; and you know, shiver me, that for the best half of his life he had but one."

admiral nelson died in 1805, so...the story is now set in the regency period or later. this timeframe is supported by the prevalence of pistol duels within the story, which according to wikipedia did not catch on until the late 18th century, swords being the preferred dueling weapon before then. additionally, admiral bell is described as wearing "the undress naval uniform of an officer of high rank some fifty or sixty years ago", which for rymer would have meant the 1780s-90s. so, mounting evidence that the story is set in the late 18th or early 19th century.

one last thing we can try: let's see if the later parts of the story offer any hints as to the timeframe of the earlier parts. here's a quote from chapter 179, a point after which the rest of the story happens all in the same period of time, barring flashbacks:

"One stormy, inclement evening in November, a travelling carriage, draggled with mud, and dripping with moisture, was driven up to the door of the London Hotel, which was an establishment not of the very first fashion, but of great respectability, situated then in Burlington-street, close to Old Bond-street, then the parade of fashion, and, as some thought, elegance; although we of the present day would look with risibility upon the costumes that were the vogue, although the period were but fifty years ago; but fifty years effect strange mutations and revolutions in dress, manners, and even in modes of thought."

(yes, that was one sentence. someday rymer will answer for his crimes against the comma)

anyway. so this part of the story, which encompasses the Peak Scooby-Doo Segment, the vampire council, and the entire episode with the croftons, is supposedly set long after all the bannerworths have died:

"Did you not once know some people named Bannerworth." "I did. You came to see me, I think, at an inn. They are all dead."

"Well, gentlemen," added the doctor, "I will tell you what I suggest, and that is contained in a letter, written a long while ago by a distant relation of mine, likewise a surgeon [Chillingworth]. Mind, I do not of course pledge myself at the present time, for the truth and accuracy of a man who was dead long before I was born; he might too have been a very superstitious man."

(speakers are an unnamed vampire and varney in the first quote, and the croftons' family doctor, dr. north, in the second)

fifty years ago, as i said earlier, would be the 1790s from rymer's perspective. charles holland is 21, and i assume the bannerworth siblings are all close to his age, so i would expect anywhere from 30-60 years to have passed for them all to have died. it seems fair to me to assume both chillingworth and dr. north are in their 30s at least, with 40s seeming a bit more likely. "long before I was born" is very vague but we'll say that's at least 10 years, probably more. so the minimum length of time between the two sections of the story is dr. north's lifespan + however long chillingworth lived after the bannerworth section + at least 10 years in between. so we're looking at probably 60 years at a minimum. all that would set the story in the 1730s at the latest, and probably earlier.

unless you believe the introduction to the story, which asserts that varney hurling himself into the volcano (the last thing that happens in the book) happened in 1713, which would, according to all the math i just did, set the bannerworth portion in the 1650s. this is INCREDIBLY problematic for the story's timeline, as that was the Oliver Cromwell period. according to the backstory varney gives to mr. bevan, he didn't even BECOME a vampire until two years after cromwell was dead (even though he also tells him he was terrorizing london during the reign of henry iv which was in the early 15th century...never mind).

you can see why i just gave up and decided to set the bannerworths part in the 1740s and the croftons part in the 1840s and ignore anything rymer has to say about the timeline that contradicts this. i didn't even get into the Time Knot.

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

Some more bonus thoughts for the sweater weather AU, Akai family edition™ (somewhat disjointed because I've been busy)

The Akai siblings all have one of the OG cream sweaters, it's a matching set (this is conjecture, but the Akais seem like an old family line to me, and so they have a family crest, which is sneakily integrated into the knitting pattern - this makes the sweaters distinguishable to those in the know). The sweater thing was all brought on by Mary deliberately misunderstanding Shukichi's polite nudges about her being cold to her children.

This fact makes Amuro's meeting with Masumi even more awkward than in canon! :) Because she's sure she's seen this guy before, and he's wearing the family sweater, which leaves two main possibilities: either a) Amuro killed Akai and took his sweater or b) Amuro was Akai's friend/lover and was either gifted the sweater or inherited it after Akai's death (because she knows Shukichi and herself still have theirs). The whiskey trio seemed friendly when she met them, but her big brother was an agent and possibly undercover, so it's a toss-up and she's gonna be real suspicious of Rei going forward. Throughout this whole exchange Rei is hugging the sweater to himself as if it could protect him from this feral teen. It's not helping :)

Sweater exchanges become significantly more difficult due to Masumi's stalking ["Do something, FBI dog. She can't keep following me, eventually she'll get wrapped up in something she can't handle. And she's annoying. Also, tell her to get a different hat, fedoras are so cliché." - "Furuya-kun, she believes I'm dead." - "Well, maybe you should fix that, actually." (Rei has strong opinions on not telling people you faked your death, he's still miffed about Scotch)]. As a side effect, this also drags Okiya's already shaky credibility as his own definitely real person in the mud, and Mary ends up figuring her son out.

We all remember that scene at the end of the Scarlet Bullet movie where Mary waits in Okiya's car with a gun and threatens him, right? Well, that happens, but it's "I don't blame you for not telling us you faked your death. But you really could've called and told me about your partner." To which Akai is like "??? - Mother, my ex has been dead for half a year now, and we hadn't been dating for three years before that?" Mary is tempted to just shoot her stupid son, she's seen the security footage of the blonde guy coming over and staying for hours on a semi-regular basis. Masumi has told her how long they've known each other. She's seen them fight.

(Though for what it's worth, Akai's telling the truth - he might be teasing Furuya but the agent is, at this point, barely tolerating to have a couple of drinks with Shuichi after a particularly bad day. Since becoming Okiya he's been bored a lot, so he's mostly humoring Furuya and enjoying company where he doesn't have to hide his true self. He figures Furuya might need the same).

Nobody bothered to ask Shukichi, who knew the whole time Akai was still around, whoops (when they eventually decide to tell him, he pretends to be pleasantly surprised). He meets Amuro in his favourite sweater, smiles cheerfully, comments on the need for such cosy clothing (to which Amuro agrees pleasantly), and files the information away for later use with a sly glint in his eyes.

.

Sweater weather AU masterpost

[brezelzeit]

OC info post! **completely nonpolitical, the time period this character is from and what he's associated with I do not endorse, but this should go without saying (ironically tho this character sorta ends up working against the bad things associated with that anyway tho lol)** Name: Tobias Schnur Born: September 28th, 1895, near Freiburg am Breisgau, Baden-Württemberg, Germany Occupation: Gestapo officer (rank: Kriminalrat (Major)) Height: 5'8" Gender: Male Physical description: Average build but slightly chubby, upturned nose, small beady eyes, soft in the face and belly, balding receding hairline on the sides, small silver vintage style wire frame round glasses Hair: Dark brown Eyes: Blue Clothing: Black suit, black fedora, red, black, and white striped tie, and occasionally a leather trench coat, although he does wear other suits and coats from time to time

Personality traits: Shy, quiet, calm, submissive, analytical, loyal, rational, anxious (he is calm but it's mostly a cover for this, fortunately he and/or others take care of this mood for him often), cynical, intimidating (to those he interrogates), mischievous, withdrawn, detached, sweet, caring, distrusting, skeptical, polite, warm, careful, melancholic, insecure, nervous, awkward, helpful, curious, inquisitive, easily embarrassed, thoughtful, sensitive, laid-back, hardworking, sarcastic, disciplined, cowardly, independent, capable, creative, romantic, friendly, playful, modest, cooperative, controlled, composed, inhibited, good mannered, inviting, seductive, passive, pessimistic, uncomfortable, intuitive, a wallflower Orientation: Gay MBTI profile: ISTJ Enneagram profile: 6w5 Likes: being alone with his thoughts, his boyfriend Dieter, daydreaming, creating, reading books, nature, keeping to himself, peace and quiet time, routine; doing things the way he is used to, feeling calm, self-care, his dog Schmutzig, playing accordion, detective work, sleeping, his patience Dislikes: the fact he can be very needy, his insecurities, being unhappy and unhappy people, immature and selfish behavior in others, overprotective behavior, feeling like he is unattractive, not knowing how to solve certain problems, people with attachment issues, his anxiety problems, being sickly, seeing those actually enjoy torture (he has to do it for work but he almost never takes sadistic pleasure in it, unless it's a very rare case that he has a personal conviction/attachment towards- he finds the behavior of some other Gestapo men insanely cruel), being bullied (both the memories from his past as a child and other Gestapo being a jerk to him for not being as cruel), loud noise, people yelling

Hobbies: playing accordion, reading, drawing, cooking, shopping for clothes, golf, soccer, swimming, going to the movie theater, listening to radio shows, collecting stamps Socio-economic status: lower middle class, leaning poor, born and raised on a farm in the off-skirts of a city Afflictions: has an illness- brought about due to a bad reaction to mustard gas in WWI. He tends to sweat profusely, get stomach aches, fatigue, nausea, randomly, although not everyday. Parents' names: Arnold and Beate Schnur. Favorite food: Cheese spaetzle with bacon or ham and onions and asparagus Speech patterns: pauses a lot and tends to interject "hehe" randomly into conversation. Has a breathy, soft, nasal voice; sort of high pitched, can get whispery at times. Here's a post about my main character/main ww2 OC Tobias "Tobi" Schnur! Most of these pics are older art I don't like as much now that I've improved a bit more, but it's all I have that's finished and on hand of him atm. Above is a bunch of basic facts about him!!! He's sort of inspired by/based on Toht from Indiana Jones in looks and clothing and mannerisms, but personality wise is a much better person and a bit more sympathetic. And more human, more 3D. And a heeeeccckkkk of a lot fruitier heheehhehe