#the executive function is Done
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I cleaned, did laundry, did dishes, cooked, baked, and went grocery shopping this weekend, and now I'm both surfing the high of being a domestic goddess and utterly done
#personal blogging#aka Friend came over Friday night#to escape their roommate for a bit#and i was possessed by every ancestral Dutch housewife#who must present a Clean Home#and once the Big Clean was done#I just sort of kept going#and did the waiting laundry#and cooked the food I had planned to make#and bought the food to prep for Thanksgiving#anyway now i have more dishes to do#i know it will be better if i do them#i just don't want to#the executive function is Done#anyhoo i guess i can have people over for a bit now#which is kind of cool
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does anyone else feel like they become neurotypical while they're in the shower
#I know it's something to do with like the white noise/sensory input helping ur brain function properly or somethin#but I swear my ADHD just fully goes away for as long as I'm in the shower#and then as soon as I step out it shloops back into my brain#it's very weird#a lot of the time I step into the shower and I feel like my executive dysfunction fully goes away like I could do anything I want#and I'll start makin a to do list in my head like 'okay as soon as I'm done showering I gotta do this and this and this'#and then I step out and I'm like lol :P forgor#lyla's talking again#ADHD#autism
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someone smack me and make me do the last 10 percent of the thing
#WHY.#I will get 90 percent of anything done#and then my executive function sees a deer or something I guess !!!#natter
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Crafting forecast! - progress pride quilt (a little less than halfway done) - intersex pride plushie (probably a dog) - MTH auction fills (I really have to get working on these again) - a walrus (CholyKnight has a new pattern coming out soon) - the second snake (from when I traced some fabric the wrong way) - a whole bunch of mini monsters (for Halloween, like I did last year) - the taco dinosaur baby quilt - a small flannel quilt for my uncle's cat (I made my grandma's dog a flannel quilt and she loves it and my uncle's cat keeps trying to steal it) - probably some more Halloween-themed things I haven't thought of yet?
#the person behind the yarn#crafting forecast#it's a crafting forecast instead of a to-do list because nothing is set in stone#because I am completely incapable of predicting which projects will take control of my executive function#as evidenced by the fact that I have yet to finish the auction fills#well. I did finish one and have almost finished another#but I have done such a bad job of actually completing them I might opt not to participate in MTH this year#maybe I'll make some little 'poison apple' plushies to add to the halloween cauldron#I fill up a little cauldron with monster plushies for the neighborhood kids for halloween#I mean I do also hand out candy#but it's mostly the monsters
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I was scrolling and saw your art and it made me really happy because I realized you made time and time again!!!
It’s literally one of my favorite things I’ve ever read, so cool!!!
This is so sweet, thank you for sharing!
It's sort of "illusion breaking" so to speak, to think of my art being both out there in a way that someone could happen upon it, and then further that someone may happen upon it twice, and finally that on doing so they find it recognizable...
I always think of myself and my work as something that sort of sits behind the curtain. The idea that it might take up space in this way is unreal!
This is the kind of thing that means more than you could imagine.
So thank you!
#asks#anon#kind words#this really means so much to me!!!#I'm so glad you like my guys and I'm so glad you've found me here!#you'll get to see plenty of them hahaha#I hope to return with the series soon!#I mean I say soon vaguely...#I've only finished 3 episodes. I'm still working on writing.#I also STARTED TAKING WELLBUTRIN#and this shit slaps#I didnt realize how anxious I was ltierally all the time#it's helping so much#I'm getting so much more done#I'm excited to go to bed#because I'm excited to get up in the morning#and because I know that tomorrow will be able to be a good day...#before it was sorta like. well tomorrow might suck so I better milk this mediocre day for all it's worth.#and then getting up meant facing everything that scares me#but like. omg.#world of a difference...#wow#there might even be something better out there for me cause the executives arent really functioning at the moment#but as of now I'm going from like 20% to like 70% maybe#which is.#holy shit#I might talk about this more later cause wow
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'okay im not doing anything friday but i have fabric and all so i can start sewing the Actual Gabbro Cosplay'-
med withdrawal fatigue: 'how about no?'
#poisonhemloc's rambles#ughhhhh#this is making the executive function issues worse since. Tired.#i get more headache meds on tuesday i just gotta hold on til then#...i bet i can get the base of the pants done though. or a quilt panel. i just gotta. get up.
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Okay! So I've revised my concept for Ninja-monium a bit. Scrapped my previous OC antagonists in favor of something hopefully simpler to convey (Which you'll learn about eventually ehehehee)
Since it's been so long (and a good chunk of my previous sneak peaks are probably gonna be majorly reworked), have a little snippet of what I'm currently working on! :> @psychologicalwarclaire I hope you haven't forgotten about this, cuz I sure haven't (it lives in my brain rent-free, even when I'm mid writer's block. It's torture)
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“I’ve already told Pixal we’re ready to be picked up. Might be a few minutes though.” Lloyd said.
“And why couldn’t we have just parked the bounty here instead of sitting around like a bunch of kids waiting to be picked up from school?” Kai asked with a huff.
“Because, Kai, the city doesn’t like it when we drop anchor all willy-nilly around town. It damages the streets and buildings.” Lloyd sighed, probably tired of explaining to Kai why he should care about property damage.
Kai scoffed. “It’s not like they cared much before.”
“Uh, pretty sure they did, actually.” Cole said. “That was the whole reason Mayor Trustable had it out for us. Or, well, part of the reason, anyway.”
“So? Mayor Trustable was an asshole.” Kai snorted. “Besides, after the shit he pulled during the whole ‘crystal zombies invading Ninjago City’ situation, there’s no way he’s getting reelected , so what does it even matter?”
“Language, Kai.” Zane scolded, his reprimand falling of deaf ears as usual. Jay wasn’t sure why he even still tried; the only one with the power to get the Smith siblings to watch their language was Master Wu, and even that only worked while he was in earshot.
“What, you wanna piss off another authority figure?” Nya asked, raising an amused brow at her brother.
Kai made a show about thinking about it, before flashing a cocky smirk. “Sure, sounds like fun. Sign me up.”
Lloyd rubbed at his temples. “Could we not make plans on getting on more leaders’ bad sides? It never ends well for us. Like, ever.”
“You never let me have any fun.” Kai said with an exaggerated eye roll. “Besides, when have we ever pissed off an authority figure that wasn’t either some asshole or like, a tyrant?” Lloyd opened his mouth to answer, but words seemed to have failed him because no sound came out. Jay couldn’t blame him; Kai did have a very good point that was difficult to argue with. Lucky for Lloyd, he was saved from having to answer when the ground beneath the ninja lit up in ominous light.
Wait.
What?!
#Banter is fun to write#once again subject to change#hopefully not as much tho#I think I've got a clearer idea of what I wanna do with this fic now#also changed how the ninja end up in the Rise-universe#I'm hoping to get this first chapter done and posted sometime in September#Maybe#No promises#I'm at the whims of my ADHD executive functioning#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninja-monium#wips
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do you guys ever get so mentally ill about a fictional duo that you seriously contemplate downloading the entire show and editing together every scene they have together. so that you can watch it to re-experience their relationship exactly as it exists in canon without watching the whole show over again. ......or is that just me
#what if i made a grimmons supercut of rvb. like just to have#the real question is do i have the executive functioning to see this task all the way through to the end 🤔#(almost certainly not. but its possible)#its also possible that something like this already exists.....#but i cant trust that its done right unless i do it myself (<- actually just wants to do it because it would be fun)
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help sertraline veterans did it make adhd type symptoms worse for you. i dont know what the hell is wrong with me but that would explain a lot
#its like my mood has been improved but executive function is gone. time blindness is insane#i cant get anything done snd its driving me insane
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just caught this line while i had “eugene’s dilemma” on as bg music at work - it’s actually kind of insane that he just says it once and it never comes up again but at the hearing when eugene is trying to convince whit that he’s the big bad evil grade-changer to protect nicholas, he says “i destroyed your relationship with connie.” WAIT WHAT. eugene…….babe…………..how come you think that. why is this something you feel guilty about and why does it Never Come Up Again
#aio#idk something about that line really caught me this time#just the sheer melodrama of the word ‘destroyed.’#also the utterly bloodless way he’s like ‘here are my crimes. I’ve done terrible things. now believe the worst in me.’#‘gdi why aren’t you believing the worst of me’ because you’re a goofy yet oddly intense little rule follower meltsnerd!!!#btw if anyone has good connie & eugene episodes. im hungry for them !!#also im sorry about the messages i am trying to get to them but it’ll most likely be after Friday#when work gives me my brain and executive function back#right now im a clerk first and human being second#aster chat
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i want to write. i know exactly what i would write if i was writing. i am not writing
#i cleaned this morning and that took literally All of my executive function#i didnt even finish but my body did give out so i reached my limit#current fic update: i have a oneshot 80% finished and outlined the rest of the way#and the first draft of chapter one of LMR done#need to finish the draft of chapter two and also edit the begining.... and write a fic summary#anyway i should have something soon but fuck me if i know what it is#mylife
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maybe being back on testosterone will fix my goddamn energy levels. maybe
#narrates#its such a shame that my executive function and needle phobia are both so dogshit. testosterone really does do wonders for me#im better emotionally regulated i feel less dysphoric my energy levels are good I can eat a lot more and put on some weight#i just need to MANAGE to get my needles done.
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it's been a little over a year since i started reading again. i've read 54 books since our honeymoon last september!
#the vast majority of that reading was done on the clock. getting salary for my discworld read-thru 💅#personal#i basically didn't read besides the occasional one-off for years...and years. long time.#remembering all the A grade essays i wrote in highschool on books that i sparknotesed because i couldn't focus long enough to finish them#what executive functioning disorder???
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Ok, need a bit of hype to power my way through my nemesis of the drawing process (lineart). Yet another new character's about to hit the blog. As soon as I finish inking... and shading... and writing...
#executive function is not my friend today#and my two wonderful girlfriends tea and sparkling water are no longer in my household to keep me powered#gotta get this done before work because i know for a fact it won't happen afterwards
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kinda going insane hehejhe looll 🤪🤪
#sage talks#sage's diary#002#10/20/2024#(hands are a little too cold for me to type much but by sisyphus' rock i will jot down my thoughts)#anyways currently stuck at a halloween/birthday party and probably still will be for a few hours#got voice work done yesterday n im hell proud of myself! ^^#gotta love having executive function and only ever being able to get around to doing shit on a whim or if theres a reward from it amirite 🤪#in other news its really been starting to cool down lately#not really looking forward to it cause of how much the cold affects me physically (doesn't have alot of bodymass & as such is susceptible t#extreme changes in temperature. also doesn't help that the cold literally hurts me physically cause of how small i am |:/#whateverrr i'll survive (probably)#.....i hope i can go home from this party soon :(
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anyone know how to get any interest in anything back
#a few months (I think?) ago I simply stopped being suicidal but I also lost all interest in everything#it's gotten to the point where I'm just slightly irritated by absolutely everything#I wish I still felt suicidal really at least I had some drive then but now it's just nothing#I should do some kind of big project#issue with that is being in this house saps my executive function to nothing#it's so hard to get even basic things done#idk what's even yeah
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