#the epitome of "be gay

[cookie-nom-nom]

I wasn’t going to say anything but the take was dismal so:

“””the she ra reboot is oversexualized, it’s wrong to sexualize and homoeroticize teenagers. They should have been adults in the show”””

-the reboot is oversexualizing teenagers

Hilarious given the right wing melt down over it too being woke and ugly for *checks notes* giving She Ra shorts to wear, having muscles, and not massive boobs. Did we seriously forget the entire controversy about them not being sexy enough. Y’all. They were seething and whining.

We can have a conversation about sexualizing teenagers! That is a problem that exists, and there’s a tricky nuance to enforcing beauty standards on teens, fetishizing youth in a predatory way, and acknowledging that teens may want to explore their own sexuality and its healthy to do so. Just, I’m not convinced sexualization is happening in SPOP but sure, later outfit designs do start to show more skin. When they’re literally growing up because hey, the show covers a few years and the main cast is in the 20-21 range by the end. And even then like

If that’s the epitome of sexualization you might be a puritan.

-It is wrong to homoeroticize teenagers

Loud incorrect buzzer sound! Rumor has it teenagers can and will be gay! If your problem is with shipping fictional teenagers, say that. I can’t imagine anyone who has ever been in a fandom will agree, but at least it wouldn’t be homophobic.

-The show should have been about adults.

It’s. It’s literally about child soldiers. That’s literally what the show is about. Would it be the same if Catra was an adult? No, because her story is about an abused and traumatized teenager desperate to have enough power she can’t be hurt anymore. She is young and inexperienced and rebelling and making horrible, selfish choices and it’s so deeply tied into her age because she’s just now growing up enough to be strong and clever enough to flip the tables. Would it be the same if Adora was an adult? No, because her story is about the horror of a teenager being turned into an idol, into a weapon of war. We literally watch how that shapes her as she steps into adulthood. Would it be the same if Glimmer was an adult? No, because her arc is going from a rebellious teenager demanding to be taken seriously and have more control, to her struggling when she gets shoved into adulthood and queenhood far too young as she looses her only present parent.

No, the story about teen soldiers crumpling under the war they’ve grown up in would not be better if it was about adults, because it would HAVE to be a different story with different themes. If you want to say they shouldn’t have been hot while doing so, fine whatever, but eviscerating the core premise in order to ‘fix’ it is a disservice to the story.

[bonniesfamiliar]

DIMENSION TRAVEL STORY IDEA: Summary: Harriet "Harry" James Potter has travelled to an alternate dimension during a spell gone wrong (Kreacher's actually responsible cuz he cares about Harry since she's the Lady of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black) Harriet knows it's an alternate dimension cuz she finds a newspaper stand and lo and behold, who's on the front cover? Tom. Fucking. Riddle. But not the ugly Voldemort Tom Riddle she killed. No this is young Tom Riddle who grew up FINE AS HELL.

And he's on the front page cuz he's The Minister of Magic and guess what he's talking about.

Dumbledore.

He's talking about Dumbledore.

And not manipulative gramps Dumbledore whose beard is longer than my hair.

No.

We're talking about this one

You know why he's talking about this Dumbledore?

Because Albus. Percival. Fucking. Dumbledore decided to become the epitome of "Be Gay, Do Crime," with Gellert Grindelwald, his husband.

DUMBLEDORE IS A DARK LORD WITH HIS HUBBY

So Harriet is obviously freaking out and does the right thing.

She goes to a pub and drinks her sorrows away in Scottish Whiskey, (Thank you, Minny)

But Harry never makes reasonable decisions so when she finds a quill and paper, guess what she does.

She writes to Misinter Riddle.

But the drama doesn't end there.

Whenever Harriet does anything, whether she writes or talks about Tom Riddle, she doesn't speak in English.

She talks in Pareseltongue.

(Cuz she and tom are the only Parselmouths. I think.)

So Parseltongue.

Harriet writes in parseltongue to the Minister of Fucking Magic on his wrongdoings in her universe.

The letter literally looks like this:

ssss ssss sssssssss ss ssssss s sss ssssssss ssssss sss sss ss ssss ssssssss ssssssss ssss ssssss sssssss ss ss sssssssss and that transcribes to 

"Dear Lord Voldemort, or should I say Minister Riddle, you are an ugly noseless hairless evil snakey bastard in my dimension,"

and cuz she's spiteful, she signs it off with "You-Know-Who"

But the thing is Harriet never mentioned her name or who her parents were.

So when Minister Riddle receives this letter, he freaks out and then does everything he can to find this person.

Not to kill them.

But to woo them.

This kind, thoughtful person has travelled from another dimension just to stop him from becoming evil.

AND THEY'RE A PARSELMOUTH.'

THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY HIS SNAKE MATE. (cuz he killed all of the Gaunts and Riddles so they're not family)

You can bet ur ass he was squealing to Nagini at the thought of having another Parselmouth in the world with him.

He's obsessed.

(He's not tom riddle if he doesn't have possessive issues and his jealousy issues are just as bad.🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰😩😩😩)

Like it's not a want.

It's a need.

He needs the writer of this letter to be with him forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-

You probably get the idea.

Anyway, 1 year goes by.

Tom Riddle: I MUST FIND THIS PERSON AND MAKE THEM MINE

Harriet Potter: *forgets about even writing the letter* 

Tom is growing more obsessed as the days go by and then he meets a woman at a charity ball held for idk an organisation for potieneers? Potion Masters?

She's chatting up with Lord and Lady Dagworth-Granger cuz she's been working with them cuz they remind her of Hermione and she needed a job.

Anyway, he approaches the couple in hopes of talking to them and Harriet sees Minister Riddle approaching and quickly moves away to head to the drinks table.

And then lets out a breath of relief when she realises he wasn't heading for her.

She schmoozes for a few more minutes before calling it quits and heading out for fresh air.

The party is at the Dagworth-Granger's manor so she goes out to the gardens.

And hears a cry for help.

Her Gryffindor instincts push her to run towards the sound of danger.

But her Slytherin side made her hide behind the wall from where the cry of help had come from.

It was a witch being harassed by two wizards.

One of the wizards was holding her wand, taunting her.

While the other had begun to take off her outfit.

Before it could go any further, she brought the men's attention to her and with a flick of her wrist, Harriet had the men on their knees.

She then walked over to the one holding the witch's wand and grabbed it out of his hand, accidentally snapping his wrist in the process.

She gave the witch her wand back and accepted the shaky hug she received.

Harriet waited until the witch was out of sight before she turned to the men and smiled, watching as their faces fell into horror as they saw the fangs in her mouth.

(I'm in love with the prompt by a post on tumblr where  Basilisk!Harry is hugging Kneazle!Hermione and Dragon!Ron also wants his cuddles. I can't find the person who made it but I've lived by the idea that these would be their animagus forms if they ever performed the spell like James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had done to become illegal animagi for Remus Lupin)

Harriet rips into their throats, feeds on them and then turns their bodies into ash with the fiendryfire spell.

She grabbed a mirror from her purse to erase the blood from her face and clothes and began to walk away lest anyone come looking for the wizards.

But, Harriet suddenly slammed into what felt like a wall.

A very warm wall.

Regaining her bearings, Harriet looked up to notice that the "wall" was MINISTER RIDDLE.

AND HE WAS HOLDING HER ARMS.

"Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?" She said pasting a smile on her face.

Shift of POV:

Minister Riddle internally sighed at being stuck in another ball instead of being at home, analysing the letter once again.

He was certain it was a woman who sent it as there was a red lipstick kiss on the paper after it was signed sss-ssss-sss (You-Know-Who)

His thoughts are cut off when Lady Dagworth-Granger asks her husband where Harriet is.

Who is Harriet? he muses but when Lord Dagworth-Granger offers to look in the gardens, Tom leaps at the chance to run away from the party.

He goes into the gardens aimlessly walking around for a few minutes, lost in his thoughts of his mysterious parselmouth when a witch comes out of nowhere and collides with him.

He uprighted her by placing his hands on her arms and looked on curiously as she seemed to freeze in place when she looked up to see that it was he she bumped into.

Tom Riddle is the one to freeze when she speaks.

"Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?" She says an innocent smile on her face as if she had no idea his whole world had just flipped on its axis.

Parseltongue.

She's speaking in parseltongue.

She's his parselmouth.

The one from another dimension.

But he had to clarify so he replies honestly for the first time in his life, in parseltongue, "I've been looking for you," 

"Searching for me? Whatever for?"

A boyish smile widens on his face before he forces it into a polite smile.

"The Lord and Lady Dagworth-Granger have been searching for you, Miss Harriet I believe you are?" He reverts to English to test if she notices the change but she doesn't.

She just replies in English, "Ah, I see. I disappeared for too long with my break from the stuffiness of the ball and yes, I am Harriet."

Harriet, he muses in his mind, no last name to give for me.

She extends her gloved hand for him to shake but Tom riddle reaches for both of her hands and turns them over to kiss them gently and forces himself not to give into the urge of nuzzling into her hands (well not yet at least) and without letting them go, he straightens to his full height to tower over her (giving him a thrill at knowing she was shorter, meaning he could easily pick her up and carry her, be it over his shoulders or bridal style) and replies, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Harriet. No last name?"

(Harriet has been wearing gloves cuz of the 'I must not tell lies' scars that cover her hands.)

Harriet smiles teasingly towards him and his cold heart thaws ever so, "I couldn't decide on a last name and I've decided I like the mysterious aura it gives me,"

Or maybe she couldn't risk using her real last name because she was from a different dimension, Tom muses in his mind, Nevertheless, Harriet Riddle has a lovely ring to it.

Harriet Potter: *staring confused at Tom Riddle as he smiles down at her

Tom Riddle: *Winter would be a lovely time to get married, wouldn't it?

I'm stopping here cuz it's a summary, not a story. Yes, I'm Evil.

Tell me if you like it tho.

I was this close *makes an inch between her fingers* to making this a Soulmate AU story.

Think of the angst that Harriet would go through all her life knowing that her soulmate's words to her are:  I've been looking for you

And it's an alternate hotter version of Tom Riddle, AKA THE BAD GUY WHO MURDERED HER PARENTS 

And think of how Harriet's words had motivated Tom his entire life to do his best to work hard (and cheat death) to live long enough for his soulmate to see him one day at a place be it a library or a gala or a hallway and ask him: Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?

Huh.

Maybe I should make them soulmates.

I need a timeline. fuck.

Um.

Riddle was educated at Hogwarts from 1938 to 1945, and was sorted into Slytherin House, a nod to his ancestor Salazar Slytherin.

Making Tom 34 cuz 1927 is the year Tom was born in if he went to Hogwarts in 1938 which would make him 11 in 1938 and 38-11 is 27 so 1927 is when he was born.

61-27=34 so Harriet is in 1961 but cuz of the time skip tom is 35 years old in 1962

Harriet was born in 1980 

The Second War technically began on 24 June, 1995, though was not officially announced by the Ministry until nearly a year later on 17 June, 1996, and ended on 2 May, 1998, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after the death of the Dark Lord.

Which made Harriet 18 in 1998, 24 in 2004, 24 in 1961 and 25 in 1962

 but she deserves peace so the year Kreacher sent her back was 2004 which would make her 24 cuz he's horrified that she hasn't attempted to romance anyone since Cedric Diggory.

Tbh, if he was my bf I would never love again.

But then hubby "I would burn the world down for you and rebuild a new one from its ashes" tom riddle is here and I'm like Cedric who?

But none of them compare to (long list of titles, I'll research later.) Harriet James Potter.

[king-lyrebird]

As a multishipper and enjoyer of ruikasa, I am begging this fandom to stop forcing this mlm take down everyone's throats. I love the canon dynamic that tsukasa and rui have, which, I'm not sure if you've noticed, is explicitly platonic. It sucks that people are so fucking yaoi brained that these male characters who are close friends just *have* to be kissing for them to be interesting. No fuck you actually, there's plenty of potential for them without making it romantic. Please drop the notion that these characters exist to be shipped together.

It really bothers me seeing people genuinely say 'pandemonium was the ruikasa event'. Pandemonium is about rui enjoying an event with his FRIENDS that he wasn't expecting to enjoy so much. Rui then having a heart to heart with tsukasa and thanking tsukasa for helping him change is a sweet moment they share that shows how their bond has benefited them... how is 'thank you for helping me change' romantic? My closest friend has helped me change, and I've said that to her, and I didn't say it with the subtext of 'I'm in love with you', I just wanted to remind her that she's had a positive impact on my life. Why does this entire event have to be boiled down to the one scene that's apparently the epitome of yaoi? Rui doesn't exist to be in love with tsukasa. Rui exists to be a character who grows and changes, who struggles with his friendships and has a hardened view of the world because of his past, but also a view that the world can be a happier place if he tries to show that to people. Turning him into a machine that kisses tsukasa is a fucking disgusting way of treating the genuine development we've seen of him over the course of the game.

To make it about shipping again, I've also seen the take that it's gross to ship rui with female characters because 'he's so gay coded'. Buddy, my best friends would be 'gay coded' if they were fictional, and they're the straightest people on this earth. Coding is an implication that does not mean canon. Rui can make a gay joke and wear the gay earring and... What?! He can still like women?! My favourite rui ship is honarui, a shocking take by the standards of the fandom. Rui is exclusively a gay man, and honami can only be shipped with Leo need and kanade because she's so sapphic coded I guess. It irks me in a way I can't explain that things have to be so black and white that it's only acceptable to ship specific characters with the same gender and the same characters over and over. I'm tired of honakana, I'm tired of ruikasa, I want to explore this dynamic that I haven't gotten to see enough of in canon. And it's fun to explore that dynamic. Is it wrong to have fun when writing about characters I like? Because reading and writing the same shlock for ruikasa is fucking boring.

I don't know if this is structured well but my main point is: be fucking creative. Write a platonic ruikasa fic and don't make it romantic by the end. Don't interpret every single interaction between same sex characters as inherently romantic. Don't see coding as the be all and end all of canon. Explore something new. Have some fucking fun and stop shoving the same bullshit into the mainstream because people who enjoy these ships do get tired of it eventually

[eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes]

"i need to be a cis man with long hair" and you also need to be tall and skinny and white and have a straight nose and brown hair right? that's also part of it? "ugh the gender of sweater vests" right because the guys on pinterest are always wearing oversized shirts to exaggerate how small they are and have their belts really tight around their waist and have no curves in their body right. there are other ways to be gay and trans and a major faggot can we please start talking about people who are fat and non white and have skin issues and injuries and disabilities and how sexy they (we) are because david bowie and fucking hozier and all these guys you think are the epitome of gender would have NOTHING without fat dykes.

[taschamonnii]

More Than A Woman

Read Part 2 & Part 3 & Part 4 & Part 5

You x Shirley Carter (70s-80s Southern Housewife Original Character  - Elizabeth Olsen) 

*Disclaimer/Summary: This completely Fictional Character is based on the way Lizzie plays old-fashioned Housewives. (Some inspo is taken from WandaVision, I Saw The Light, and Love & Death) This character is in no way a portrayal of any real-life people. Audrey Williams and Candy Montgomery were real people that Lizzie has portrayed for entertainment purposes in tv & film. This story is not about them. I just want to see Lizzie play a 70s-80s housewife that is secretly Gay and stuck in a religious small-town in the South. Since she has never done that but has played the part of perfect housewife I decided to make my own character.* I will be using edited pictures from the characters she has played and unaltered gifs since it's way too hard to edit those.* 

Character Description since this is a made up character: mid length-wavy-dark brown hair (think more the length in I saw the Light like it falls to her collar bones but the dee dark brown from goth Wanda era, Emerald Green eyes, Wears form fitting dresses and hig waisted pants and skirts.  

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Angst/Smut

TW: SMUT, 18+, Cheating on husbands to be GAY together, 

I am so obsessed with Lizzie playing housewife that I made a playlist! More Than A Woman

AN: I’m not going to lie, this is purely a selfish work of writing. I NEEDED it!

Word Count: 4,343

Imagine This:

“I’m very attracted to you. Would you be interested in having an affair?”

The intensity of deep emerald green eyes was almost too much for you. The air in the truck was thick as you swallowed hard. Her gaze moved from your eyes to your lips and in a flash right back up to your eyes. Heat pooled low in your abdomen and you couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip. 

Shirley licked her lips and your gaze was instantly drawn to the movement. Your body gravitated toward her. 

“You already know the answer to that question, Shirley.” 

Your tone was playful. This moment had been a long time coming. The two of you had far too many shared glances and lingering touches. You felt the attraction instantly when your gaze first landed on her in the church choir. She was the only reason you joined when you moved to this tiny town for your husband's job. She was quick to notice you as well, she convinced you to join the church tennis team. She was the epitome of a perfect church-going housewife when she introduced herself to you. Shirley Carter was perfect, too perfect. She knew she had a role to play in life and she perfected it to hide her secret. She was desperately waiting for a woman just like you to share her secret with. You hadn’t needed to perfect your role the way she did. You were originally from California. Yes, you married a man, but there were book clubs specifically for women just like you in your old city. Your husband attended a club of his own so intimacy and kids have never been a requirement. A mutual agreement was made between you and your childhood best friend long ago. You didn’t need to really hide it. So, it was oh so easy for her to notice your constant staring. She let you know it was more than okay when she caught you staring. She'd always manage to drift more into your personal space and she’d act super friendly. It was honestly mesmerizing to watch her play this part so perfectly. 

“Yes, but I want to hear you say it.” she smirked.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I want to have an affair with you, Shirley. You are all I ever want, all I think about.”

“What are you waiting for? Kiss me.”

A shiver ran down your spine at her words. You closed the gap between you in an instant. Her lips were impossibly perfect. Softer, sweeter than you ever imagined and you had imagined this moment since you first gazed upon her plump lips. She didn’t waste any time her body shifted into your space and forced you to sit upright on the bench seat of your truck. She was in your lap before you could even decide where you really wanted your hands. The second she settled into straddling you she kissed you harder biting at your bottom lip. You moved your hands around her body and down her back. The curve of her hips was irresistible, causing you to pull her into you. Her gasp allowed your tongue to slip inside her sweet mouth. You moaned at her taste and moved your hands to grip her ass hard and pull her into you again. 

This time she pulled away quickly and bit her own bottom lip as she pushed your shoulders back. Her hands gilded softly down your arms and grabbed your hands. You watched and let her take your hands where she wanted them. She cast a spell on you the second she whispered that she was attracted to you and now you were hers. She knew this, she knew she could do anything she wanted with you, that you'd do anything. She took your hands and laid them softly on her full breasts then made them glide down her front to her sides to the hem of her blouse. You moved your thumb along the material and grazed her skin softly making her shiver. 

"Touch me."

She let your hands go and grabbed your shoulders. You didn't waste time moving your hands under the fabric. You squeezed her hips pulling her closer. She hummed and pressed in closer, instantly capturing your lips. Your hands moved around her and up her smooth back. Nothing compared to how she felt under your fingers. You couldn't wait to have them buried deep inside her. 

You moved one skilled hand to her bra and unsnapped it as the other hand moved to start pulling her blouse off. The sudden cool air on her heated skin made her shiver and gasp. She may be bold but you had the experience. 

You wasted no time at all after throwing her top aside. Your blunt nails scratched down her back. She leaned into you with a loud sigh.

"Fuck"

"You like that?" 

"God yes!"

"Just wait, I'm only getting started."

You moved your hands up her sides and filled your hands with her full breasts. Her nipples were already so hard it made your mouth water. She sighed as you massaged them in both hands her hips began to grind against you begging for friction. You pinched her nipples without warning hard and she let out a whimper. 

"Does he touch you like this?"

"N-No. Fuck it feels so good. Please don't stop."

"Only I can touch you like this."

She nodded.

"I need to hear it."

You let go of her breasts completely and she groaned.

"Please Y/N! Only you can touch me like this, only you make me feel this good. Please!"

You smirked, she was always so in control and now she was putty in your hands.

You cupped her breasts lightly as light as you could stand it. Making her whimper again. You could cum just at the sound of her breathy moans but you wanted to make her cum first as many times as you could get from her. You were so curious how many ways you could get her to cum in your truck. 

You changed the angle you were sitting, bringing her closer. You leaned forward into her and ghosted your lips over her left nipple. 

"Fuck!"

You flicked your tongue over the stiff bud before she could ask for more. You sucked it hard into your mouth, biting it lightly. Her gasp and jerk of her hips told you she liked it. You pinched her other nipple harder and began to suck and bite and flick her left nipple relentlessly. Her hips were pressing against you wildly. Your free hand steadied her motions helping her get friction by gripping her firm ass and pushing her into you. Her breathing was becoming more labored but her hips kept the motion as you switched hands. You pinched the overstimulated bud hard as your mouth moved to her right nipple. You followed the same relentless pattern. Sucking biting, flicking licking. Pinching and brushing the other. Your free hand moved to her ass only this time you kept her body pressed closer to you not letting her get any friction. 

Her green eyes shot down to lock with yours and her pupils were blown. You released her nipple from your mouth. 

"I want you to cum just from this." You pinched both her nipples then brushed your hands over them and squeezed. 

"I know you are close. Let it go for me and I will make you cum again and again."

She threw her head back as you squeezed her breasts and grazed your palms over her sensitive nipples.

"Fuck I can't"

"You can"

You scratched down her sides and back up then pinched her nipples toying with them between your fingers. Her head shot back up and she pressed closer to you. You kissed down her necks and began to leave the lightest marks, careful not to leave any that will last, over her collarbones and breasts. Your fingers consistently follow a pattern of playing with her hard nipples. Gently then harder. Her hips bucked into you hard and her body trembled then her legs squeezed you hard. 

"Oh OH! Fu-FUCK!"

You hummed feeling your own clit throb at the sight. "Fuck you are breathtaking when you cum."

"I. You. Fuck! I didn't think I could cum like that."

"It takes more time that way but I could spend days worshiping your breasts. But also now you are soaked and ready for me."

You moved your hands finally letting her boobs have a break. Her nipples stood stiff and bright pink, almost tempting you to try and make her cum the same way for you once again. But you couldn't wait to feel how wet she was. 

You moved your hands down to her skirt which was already hiked up around her hips and pushed it out of your way more. You took both your hands to her inner thighs massaging them. You started softly making her whimper and used more pressure as you got closer to wear she needed you most. You could feel the heat radiating off of her center. Your fingers brushed against her silk panties and she gasped for air. She was soaked.

"Can I rip these off of you?"

She shuddered at your words and nodded as she talked. 

"You've already ruined them." 

You moved to the hem of the fabric and yanked it apart. A moan left her lips at the friction against her clit, the soaked material ripped with ease revealing her soft wet skin and soft trimmed hair. 

You moved two fingers along her soaked lips and lightly brushed her clit. 

"Stop fucking teasing Y/N"

You moved your fingers up and down spreading her slick heat she instantly bucked her hips into you. Her hands grabbed at the hair on the back of your neck. 

"Fuck me!"

You moved your fingers to her entrance teasing just the tips in. 

"Kiss me and I'll think about it."

Her lips instantly captured yours hard and needy. You pulled your fingers back up to her clit only adding light pressure. She moved like she was going to part the kiss to complain but you instantly captured her lower lip sucking hard as you moved your fingers. Both your fingers slid into her with ease. Her walls tightly surrounded you. Her body relaxed into you finally getting some satisfaction. She moved her hips as you slid as far as your long slender fingers could go. 

You moved your fingers slowly back out and in, a few times until her hips started rocking in time with you. You curved your fingers making sure to press against her most sensitive spots. 

"Ride my fingers."

Her breathing became heavier and breathier as she moved on top of you, her perky breasts bouncing in front of you. She began to move more and more and so you picked up speed and made sure your palm rubbed against her clit. She was already so close you could feel her walls flutter around you. You moved your free hand from her ass to scratch up and down her back. 

"Fuck! AH! Ah fuck please don't stop! Oh my fucking God! Fucking how? Fuck! Fuck Fuck!"

"I love how you ride my fingers! You are so fucking beautiful!"

Her legs squeeze around you tight and tremble as she throws her head back. Her neck strains and you want to bite it so desperately but know better. You guide her through her orgasm, easing the pressure letting her soak up the high and enjoy a slow come down. Her walls release their tight grip on your fingers and you slowly pull them from her. You are desperate to taste her but you want her to watch so you wait a second. As her body stops shaking she locks her gaze on you and the green rings around her blown pupils cause you to smirk. You feel like the best kind of evil as you bring your fingers to your lips and suck them slowly into your mouth moaning as you get lost in her taste. Her lips part as she watches you. You make sure to make an audible pop sound as you clean them and release them from your mouth. A whimper leaves her parted lips. 

“You are so fucking sexy Y/N!”

“You taste so sweet, Shirley. I want to eat you up, no I need to. Please?” 

You love the way her cheeks become red so you continue. “I need to bury my tongue as deep as I can into your sweetness. I need to feel your tight walls flutter around it as I drink you in and get lost in how incredible you taste. Do you want to feel my tongue inside you, Shirley?” 

Her body shudders and it is breathtaking to watch your words affect her so deeply. You move closer and brush your lips against hers softly. “Do you want to know how good you taste?”

She doesn’t answer with words, her lips meet yours urgently. She is swiftly slipping her tongue in your mouth and pressing her body against you with need. She moans into the kiss and manages to suck lightly on your tongue. Your clit throbs and you can’t stop the shudder that runs down your body. She pulls away with a smirk knowing the effect she had on you filled her with confidence. Her hands ran down over your chest and her slender long fingers quickly unbuttoned your top. She makes even quicker work of your bra, tossing it aside. She licks her lips as your breasts and abs are unveiled to her. 

Her fingertips brush up and down your chest and abs. Your nipples harden as her palms brush over them. She pinches them between her fingers softly. 

"Can I make you cum like this?"

You bite your bottom lip and nod. It's so sexy how she wants to copy what you did and learn from you. 

Her commanding, dominating, and controlling personality pushed her to be a fast learner and damn she really paid attention.

Her fingers are so long and her grip is strong she holds your breasts in both her hands firmly feeling squeezing, testing the weight in her hands. She loves how soft your skin is. She loves how you fit perfectly in her hand and it is better than her wildest daydreams. 

You moan at her explorations. Her palms graze your hard nipples as she releases your breasts. She then swiftly pinches both nipples between her fingers softly.

"Harder." You sigh

She bites her bottom lip and she pinches harder. Causing you to sigh with relief. You can feel your walls contracting around nothing and buck your hips up into her to no avail. 

She smirks. She moves off your lap slightly bunching up your skirt as she adjusts herself to put one knee between your legs and to allow her to straddle your bare leg. 

Her bare wet core now rests hot against the smooth skin of your thigh. And fuck her knee is pressed right against the wet fabric covering your clit. Her intuition is beautiful but you expect she's read about this sort of thing. She's a curious and intelligent woman. 

She settles for a moment in the new position still pinching your nipples, eyes glued to your every reaction. Then she slowly slides her wet heat along your thigh as she presses her knee into your clit. You throw your head back straining your neck. 

The display of your exposed neck collar bones and chest make her mouth water. She licks her lips before she leans in and presses an open mouthed kiss to your neck. She kisses and tests the waters sucking lightly. You can tell she wants to mark your skin by the way her lips tremble against you.

Her lips feel devine. Your mind wanders to how good they will feel on the rest of your body and how badly you want her to bite you but you more so just want to see and feel what she does next. You melt as her kisses lower to your chest and she kisses all around your nipple. She takes the other in her hand and finally envelopes the stuff bud in her warm mouth. She is light, careful, and calculated as she flicks her tongue and it drives your hips to grind against her. She pinches your other nipple as she lightly bites the one in her mouth and you can't help yourself.

"Fuck that feels so good!" You grab her ass in both your hands and squeeze, pressing her wet heat harder against your leg. Bringing her closer and also giving your clit much needed pressure. 

She takes this as a sign that she's doing the right things and begins a pattern similar to what you did licking biting sucking while grazing and squeezing and pinching. She switches between breasts and your back arches. You are so close and right when you are about to say harder her long fingers tangle into and pull your hair. She bites harder on your nipple and pinches the other with determination. You feel your walls contract and moan out. 

"Fuck I'm cuming! Yes Shirley!"

Your body trembles once twice as she releases your breasts and kisses your lips. Your hands travel up her back and into her hair as you deepen the kiss. She pulls back first. 

"I want to feel you cuming."

Her fingers travel down your torso and pull on the hem of your soaked panties. Her gaze falls to your lap and she grabs at the fabric the same way you did hers. You nod approval to rip them. Her fingers move with haste and her gaze is locked on the skin and neatly trimmed hair. She watches as the fabric falls with a clear sticky wetness. She licks her lips as she glances back up at you.

"I don't know how to do this."

She moves off your lap and sits looking away from you. Twisting in her direction you softly graze her chin and pull her attention back. 

"You have been doing amazing and you have made me feel absolutely incredible already. You don't have to do anything else if you don't want to."

"No! I want to! I just want to be great or nothing."

You smirk. "You and those long fingers are going to be the best. You are going to ruin me for everyone else, no one will ever compare to you." 

She rolls her eyes.

"I know this because you want to be great so you will let me help you and you will listen and feel and know what to do by paying attention."

She bit her bottom lip thinking "can you straddle me so I can do it like you did?"

You lightly bite your bottom lip and raise your eyebrow. "Oh Mrs. Carter, you want me to ride your fingers and fuck me senseless?" 

"Yes, Mrs. Y/L/N." 

You move and help her adjust into more of the middle of the seat. The bench seat is such a blessing and you are so thankful for your truck right now. Your knees hug her outter thighs and you hold your skirt keeping it bunched up as you settle on her lap. Her gaze travels up and down your body with determination like she's memorizing you. It makes you shiver and you can't stop yourself as you capture her lips in a heated kiss.

Her hands grip your hips fiercely and you think you may have bruises from it which makes heat rush to your already dripping core. You steady yourself with one hand on her shoulder and take the other down to grab her dominant hand. You hold her wrist as you guide her hand down. You guide her to just lay her hand over your core and you release a hot breath against her necks. She takes that as a good sign and presses her middle finger against you more. She bends it running from the source of the slick heat to your clit and you let go of her wrist to grab her other shoulder as your body shudders. 

She repeats this a few times each time teasing your entrance a little. Your hips are begging for more when she decides to slide her middle finger into you slowly letting your walls pull her in and fuck it feels so fucking good! She curls her finger as she slowly removes it and you can't help but squirm on top of her. 

"More. I need another."

Her gaze falls to your lap as you lift up off her slightly and she presses two fingers at your entrance. She slowly pushes in and you let your hips fall, enveloping her fingers with a sigh of relief. Your walls flutter around her and it encourages her to begin exploring different things. Your hips match her movements and your breath quickens. Your hands tangle into the hair on the back of her neck. 

You can't stop yourself from leaning into her as you feel the pressure build. Her fingers are perfect. You try to kiss her shoulder and neck but your moans make you falter and scrape your teeth against her skin. It makes her shudder and dig her other hand harder into the skin of your waist as she helps you stay steady. Your breath is more of a frantic panting against her skin and it just seems to urge her on. She quickens her pace more confident in her motions. 

And fuck it feels so good to let her take the lead to give into her. She seems to be enjoying herself and it just makes you clench around her. She can't stop watching her fingers disappear into you. She's mesmerized. 

You are so close your hips can't keep up with her motions but it's more than okay because she is fucking you right where you need her. 

"Fuck Shirley! Ah! Feels so good! Oh fuck right there! Keep- Oh fuck! I'm gonna AH!"

Your hips falter completely as your legs squeeze around her and your legs tremble. Your walls squeeze her fingers contracting hard around her. She slows her pace and stays inside you until you loosen your hold on her. You lean back blissed out and ready to kiss her but she's slowly sucking her fingers and your jaw literally drops at the sight. She moans at the taste of you and keeps her gaze locked on yours. When she makes a wet pop sound finishing the show you instantly capture her lips in a hungry kiss absolutely melting into the taste of you and her. 

You both break from the kiss in need of air and rest your foreheads together. 

The windows of your truck are fogged up and reality hits you. You just fucked and got fucked by Shirley in the church parking lot! You can’t stop the laughter that falls from your lips.

Shirley tilts her head to the side with a crooked smile. “What’s so funny?”

You gesture all around you “We just fucked in the church parking lot. I just fucked and got fucked by Mrs. Perfect Southern Church going HouseWife, Shirley Carter.”

You throw your head back with laughter and soon she joins you but not before she lightly slapped your shoulder. She glanced around and you were parked far in the back corner but still it was so risky! Sure that was part of the thrill but Shirley was not an idiot. She nudged you to get you to be serious for a second. 

“We should probably be smarter about this. We need to make a plan.”

You nod in agreement. “You’re probably right.” 

You move to get off her lap and she stops you. “Where do you think you’re going?”

You smile down at her. “It’s getting late. I was going to find my blouse.”

She bit her bottom lip “oh alright, but I really like having you like this.”

You gave her a lopsided smile and leaned in to kiss her lips once again but this time savoring it. You parted your lips but only barely. “I like it too.”

You pecked her lips once more before moving off her lap and grabbing her top and tossing it at her. You found your bra and quickly pulled it on. You find her bra and dangle it from your finger. “Mrs. Carter, this little lacy red thing is so very inappropriate for choir practice.” 

She rolls her eyes and snatches it from you. “Oh yes because that black number you have on is so appropriate.” 

She smirks and grabs your shirt from under her and throws it at you. 

You gasp and throw your hand over your chest “whatever do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Now button your damn blouse so I can concentrate.”

You do as you are told and watch as she fixes her blouse, hair, and makeup in the mirror. Just like that she looks the part. Perfectly put together. You leave your hair tousled and a few buttons undone, your husband is used to this and most likely is asleep in his room by this hour. 

When she turns to look at you her gaze falls and she physically shakes her head. 

“You can’t go home looking like that!”

“Like what?” You smirk, “relax, my husband, is asleep in HIS room and used to me coming home like this. We have an arrangement, made a pact as kids, so our lives could be easier. Theo likes men and I well, obviously, I LOVE women.” 

You eye her up and down with a smug expression and top it off with a wink. Another roll of her eyes. “You are something else. This is all new to me and we need to be careful. I have kids to think about.”

“Oh don’t you worry, I know how to be discreet and flexible. Whatever you need, you are worth it.”

AN: This is an original series 

[chialattea]

Quick Hawkebela doodle heheeee,, personally my Hawke is a chaotic bottom so it’s more belahawke but idk if that tag exists,, they’re both the epitome of be gay do crimes your honor and I do nOT have brainrot (I do. Pls ask me about my hawkebela HC or thoughts I love Isabella so much)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

i really want a fic of eddie realising him and buck have been falling in love the entire time.

I keep seeing posts (and even had someone tell me) that it’d be unrealistic for Eddie to be in love with Buck and not realise. Like not even think of him as an option. 

But that’s such a real queer person thing- i’ve lived that experience. I’m a women and despite all the times I admired other women it took forever for it to click for me.

I mean I grew up with accepting parents and kind friends and even queer people on tv. I remember looking at girls as much as I looked at boys. And yet I still had the reoccurring thought “I could be gay, I mean i’m not- but I could be. But most people aren’t gay and i’m most people”. (gay being used here in my head to mean “not straight”) AND YET despite it all I didn’t realise i was Bi until I was much older.

And even then, I’d had at least two long term crushes without realising they were crushes before it clicked. 

(I kid you not- it took a drag queen talking to me like i was a toddler for it to click, but that’s a whole other story SO-) 

Whether or not Eddie already knows he’s gay (or demi or whatever) doesn’t really make a difference, cause it’s that same sort of heteronormative internalising that causes these feeling to not be understood. 

Especially for Eddies character who’s had this messy norm with Shannon for so long, a stable thing to grasp (even when their relationship was a mess) and then her death and him chasing to find that weak grasp to SOMETHING again- something that can be another excuse to not go looking for himself. 

Like he’s internalised this behaviour of, “if i’m in a relationship, I don’t have to look deep and figure out why it’s not working” and never quite realising that maybe the reason it’s not working is cause he’s trying to replace something that was never really real.

(Speaking of, Eddie and Shannon are the epitome of loml by taylor swift. I mean- “we were just kids babe” “from one kiss to getting married” “something counterfeits dead” “what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye” “i’m combing through the band of lies- “i’ll never leave” never mind”) 

babe you are speaking to the POSTER CHILD of raised in a religious household and convinced themselves they weren’t queer until it was staring them in the face

the biggest issue is that most (again i said most before yall try to jump down my throat) of the people who are against buddie are either straight people who don’t understand the nuances of queerness, or queer people who didn’t grow up in environments of oppression and have never felt the need to hide themselves

i used to tell my parents i had crushes on girls only to later realize that it was because i just had a genuine platonic connection with them (two of whom are my best friends and are also queer women) and i used to get confused about what the difference between attraction and admiration was— something a LOT of queer people go through without realizing.

comphet is literally such a widespread phenomenon that people truly don’t realize just how common it is— like even queer people don’t realize they probably know several “straight” people who are still lying to themselves bc sexuality isn’t black and white— it exists on a spectrum. I’m not saying that to invalidate anyone’s straightness, im just saying i know multiple men who are my dads age (60s +) who only recently came to the realization that they were gay.

it’s genuinely so disappointing to see some of the people in this fandom pushing homophobic talking points from history just to disprove a character’s implied queerness bc they view that character’s queerness as a threat to their ship.

anyway, i agree eddie and shannon’s relationship is soooooo unconscious lavender marriage coded to me and there are SO MANY beautiful TS lyrics that apply to that… another song that i really feel like captures Eddie’s pov of the relationship is Home by One Direction… especially these lyrics:

[riddle-rosethorns]

🏳️‍🌈 heartslabyul!!

Yay, my favorite dorm! Thank you so much for the ask!!

❤️ Riddle Rosehearts: gay demisexual trans guy (he/him)

I know this is almost exactly what you said in your response to my ask about him, and I honestly 1000% agree with your reasoning. I will also admit the way I view him is heavily influenced by my own experiences with gender and sexuality (minus the demisexual part). During the timeline of the game, I see Riddle as pre-everything, likely due to discouragement or fearmongering by his mother. Even after moving out of his mother's house, I honestly don't really see him transitioning medically; however, I think that would be a conclusion he would come to on his own after extensive research rather than due to his mother's influence. I also think he would use neopronouns if he didn't feel like he would be breaking some unspoken rule by doing so. I don't really feel the need to explain why I think he's gay to be honest, but as for his demisexuality, I will introduce my Treyrid agenda. I feel like the connection Riddle forms with Trey in their childhood ultimately blossoms into romantic and sexual feelings after reuniting at Night Raven. Since this would likely be his only experience with such feelings up to that point, I can see it greatly influencing the way he views his own attraction from that point forward.

❤️ Ace Trappola: aromantic bisexual cis guy (he/him)

I'll admit, I don't really have a ton of specific thoughts about Ace. Most of this headcanon comes purely from vibes. Ace feels like a fuckboy to me. He feels like the type of guy that would hook up with dudes and then make some excuse as to why it isn't gay because "we kept our socks on, guys!" and "what's a little dick-sucking between bros?". He'd probably treat sex pretty casually and thus not really understand why people think that because he fucks dudes he has to be gay. I think as he gets older and works past some of his internalized homophobia though, he'd probably end up coming to terms with his attraction towards guys and identifying as bisexual. As for the aromantic part, I feel like I need only direct you to his Suitor Suit vignette. This is one of many lines that sparked this half of my headcanon.

❤️ Deuce Spade: bisexual trans guy (he/him)

This headcanon honestly rubbed off on me from my boyfriend. He's a bi trans guy who projects heavily on Deuce, so I basically absorbed his thoughts and ideas through osmosis. I honestly kinda just want to direct you to this post of his because his Deuce takes are so perfect I have nothing to add to them. I love you sukeban girl gang delinquent Deuce. I love you Deuce who is attracted to anyone who could beat him up. Unlike Riddle, I think Deuce is on T by the time he's enrolled at Night Raven. This is partially because I think his mom would be way more supportive than Riddle's would be.

❤️ Trey Clover: cis gay guy (he/him)

Back at it again with my Treyrid agenda! I really enjoy seeing and writing relationships between cisgender gay guys and transgender gay guys, since I personally feel that there's a strong sense of gender euphoria to be found in that situation: for someone who likes men to see you fully as a man and be attracted to you as a man. All that's to say that my headcanon for Riddle has heavily influenced the way I view Trey as well, since their relationship is one I'm extremely attached to. I don't really have any specific support or evidence for this one. Like with Ace, it's sorta just the vibes I get from him. Trey is like the epitome of that "I'm not gay enough for the gays" Reddit post to me.

❤️ Cater Diamond: bisexual & nonbinary (they/he)

I'm so sorry that like 3/5 of these headcanons have just been me going "it's about the vibes" instead of properly explaining them. Sometimes for me it truly is just about the vibes, and Cater gives me the vibes of someone who doesn't fuck with either side of the gender binary. I do think they still present as mostly masc and tend to avoid more traditionally feminine clothes and accessories due to trauma involving their older sisters, but I also don't really think they fully click with the idea of manhood either. They're literally just hanging out. Also, I may not be fully informed on this given that I only play on the EN server, but isn't bisexual Cater basically confirmed in the JP version? I've seen a lot of posts supporting it, so like... is it even a headcanon at this point?

~Send me a 🏳️‍🌈 and a character name for my gender/sexuality headcanons!~

[v-anrouge]

Azul and Ozzie. Enemies to Lovers. Swindlers. The epitome of be gay do crime. They hate each other but love each other's hustle. They should kiss.

Make them kiss.

[petalkitshadow]

I saw your PKS Headcanons and now i cant stop thinking....what If mapleShade and freckleWish actually had feelings for eachother but they didnt know what to make of It because yknow surpressed lesbians in a homophobic clan but they still are soooo inlove yet confused and when mapleshade lies that the kits were birchfaces freckleWish is like "this is the PERFECT excuse for me to spend more time with her and take care of these kits as If It were my own- because ofc they uh are my brothers so they are my kin" but ofc It was all thrown off the window when ravenwing revealed everything and homophobicStar kicked maple and her kits off the clan and ofc frecklewish feels alot of anger towards maple at this point because everything was a lie to cover up her half clan kits and she was inlove with a random riverclan tom??? She was heartbroken and felt betrayed so she turned her back on maple but after maple was gone freckle sometimes would think to herself regretting it and missing maple and the kits anyways i love some angst

Yep you hit the nail right on the head! I'm exploring it more in the Frecklefic, but i hinted at it a bit in PkS as well, such as here in Ch 11:

Freckle and Maple's relationship was... complicated. Like in canon, the clan had high hopes for Mapleshade - granddaughter of Redstar, many thought she would be deputy, and maybe leader eventually, including Frecklewish. As such, she was close with the leaders' kits; best friends with Birchface and Frecklewish. Oakstar wanted to keep the "strong blood" together.

Freckle and Maple both had romantic feelings for each other, but Oakstar's ThunderClan (as well as the ThunderClan of his predecessors, Seedstar and Redstar) is highly utilitarian and conservative. Everything must be done to serve the clan, and there's a bit of gender essentialism thrown in as well. She-cats should have kits, to provide the Clan with more warriors. Oakstar was giddy at the idea of merging the bloodlines of two leaders (such a shame seedstar was so ambitious and never had kits like a good she-cat, he says)

Well anyways, because of this climate, same-sex couples were shamed and ostracized by the community, for their inability to provide good, wholly-thunderclan kits to the clan. (no, adoption and surrogacy don't exist, whats that? we cant challenge the nuclear family model that keeps bloodlines so clear and separates the leaders from the ordinary warriors, says Oakstar!) It was kind of an unspoken rule to not be gay, not speak about it, and such. Thus, Frecklewish and Mapleshade never realized their own feelings. But for some reason they just really loved sharing a nest, raising kits together, being physically affectionate, etc. very much the epitome of "they seem like good friends", as Petalkit put it lol

But, these feelings, I think that's part of why Frecklewish reacted so strongly. She felt betrayed, not just for her brother's sake, but for her own. She felt as crushed as if her own wife cheated on her. Which of course, isn't what happened at all, as they werent together and didnt even realize their own feelings, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Maple on the other hand, was so crushed that the one cat who'd been by her side for years was now against her. Maybe in a better world things couldve worked out... but this isn't a better world, and both cats have to live (well. after-live) with what they've done for all eternity!

...but maybe there's a chance things can be settled, when they finally meet in the dark forest 👀

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

Giraffe Girumble - Loser's Bracket 4B

Propaganda below (Recently fumigated for spoilers)

Gracie propaganda:

just look at her. trans queen who loves fashion and is the epitome of be gay, do crimes (illegal parking). she gives the player clothes and will help them out with their style.

Patty's Giraffe Propaganda:

Screw academia! Giraffes!

Tallneck propaganda:

They are beeg frens. Why have normal comm towers in games when you could have what the devs called "comm giraffes."

[lesbiamo]

the epitome of be gay do crime

[yuri-button]

Susie HCs ????

Oooo I have a lot, so I'll do a lil overview of my thoughts on her I hope that's okay!

The ver of Susie in my head is more of like a feral gremlin child. She is THE weird kid and the epitome of "be gay do crime". She became close friends with Julie and Joey in middle school and has a lot of shared interests with Julie (they spend a lot of time at Julie's house listening to music, painting each other's nails, and talking about different ways to kill people Susie doesn't like. Y'know, just girl stuff)

She's shy, anxious, and overall pretty distrusting of people outside of The Legion + Jeff due to being bullied a lot. Probably invented "don't talk to me I can't hear you over my music" by listening to her Walkman 24/7

She is the youngest of 3 siblings: her two older siblings have already moved out. She isn't as academically or athletically apt as her siblings were, which makes her parents quite harsh on her, to say the least.

Her voice sounds like Julia Nardin's (look up Nancy Drew Ghost of Thornton Hall, she's the VA for Addison).

Her personal reason for being part of The Legion is that she enjoys the sense of power and control it gives her, since she normally feels powerless in her everyday life.

She is pretty obsessed with Julie and gets jealous easily. She has a plastic bag of her stray hair strands and she tries to steal little things from Julie (basically Jenny by Studio Killers). Susie is more overtly needy than Julie is, but they both share the same kinda mindset of "this is my *ahem* girl best friend and I think I might pop your head off if you stare at her for too long"

Her dynamics with Joey and Frank (copy pasted from one of my many random notes docs about these goobers):

Joey is the big brother of the group, and Susie receives the most of that. He doesn’t always understand what Susie goes through, but he always tries his best to listen and cheer her up. Susie confides in Joey often: he tries to support Susie whereas Julie tries to fix her problems, usually with faulty (although well meaning) solutions. The two are far more relaxed than Frank and Julie and feel that the other’s presence is soothing.

Frank and Susie are the most distant in the group, but they are still good friends. Frank is a bit more invested in the friendship than Susie is, but she does still care. He views her like a little sister and empathizes with her about her difficult home life, which is their main connection. Frank builds Susie up and pushes her to action where she is normally sedentary. Susie is initially very closed off to Frank due to jealousy and overprotectiveness of Julie, but she eventually does let him in and they both mutually appreciate the support of one another.

Lastly two lil random things about her: she HATES being called short (she's 5'4, the shortest in The Legion) and will probably stab your kneecaps if you say it to her. Her favorite Legion Night activity is graffiti.

I hope this isn't totally word vomit!! This is probably very disorganized so I hope it's okay to read :,)

[maoam]

A lot of persons say that Sasuke is gay-coded even regardless of Naruto… I can completely see how he’s in love with Naruto, but I struggle to see how he’s gay-coded outsides of his interactions with Naruto.

Could you help me?

I assume people mean his underlined disinterest in women, or possibly the fact there is a lot of homoeroticism regarding Sasuke's character.

All these examples are examples of Sasuke being desired, but in Japanese media if a beautiful boy is desired by a LOT of men he tends to be gay himself, even if he's not interested in those men himself. Mostly because there is no need to have a bunch of dudes do this to a straight guy (it happens sometimes with maybe one, but not a constant thing that happens). See the movie Gohatto... in it the main dude is desired by a lot of men but he himself likes only one guy... but it's a dark movie so I don't recommend it if one wants to see something hopeful.

Sasuke is the epitome of what Ian Buruma wrote about in his culture study: "true (gay) bishounen is always deadly". Griffith is also like this...

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 1 of the minor bracket

Propaganda:

For Lord Hater and Commander Peepers :

Lord Hater is the self-proclaimed "universe's awesomest evil-doer", an immature, attention-seeking manchild with electric powers and a short temper. He rules the Hater Empire with Commander Peepers as his second-in-command (technically third, after his beloved pet spider-xenomorph, but who's counting), however it soon becomes *very* clear that the cunning, remorseless, hardworking Peepers is the *real* brains behind the empire. Peepers might be frustrated at Hater's incompetence at times and isn't above manipulating him to reach an end goal, but he'd never dream of usurping him because, well, he's really gay and in love with him (as much as he can be in an early-10s Disney cartoon, anyways). Hater might take Peepers for granted a lot of times, but as his oldest friend and closest confidante he's the one who Hater is closest to. Whether it's invading other planets or kicking puppies for fun, these two are *delightfully* terrible jerks and the epitome of gay wrongs. 

Commander Peepers is both Lord Hater's right hand man in villainy AND his jilted stay-at-home-wife-guy (Also in villainy. Hater is really good at getting distracted from productive and efficient villaining.) Lord Hater was the greatest villain in the galaxy thanks to how well he and Commander Peepers worked as an evil team to run the Hater Empire!

Lord Hater conquers planets and is such an edgy bastard. Peepers is the actual brains behind the operation. Peepers is often pushed aside by Hater, they are besties and yet Peepers is always pining for this guy who will never notice. Peepers is so horribly gay for him if you watch the show he wants his stupid boss so bad. Peepers is so scared of him season 1 but then starts yelling BACK in season 2 and has to deal with him like a babysitter or something and yet STILL idolizes him and that’s just such a fun dynamic. His password is H8RNP33PRS43VR (Hater and Peepers forever). They are so evil and everyone fears them and they are villains and they are gay and the side of the fandom that draws them as a married couple that needs counseling is absolutely correct. The fanart of Hater openly liking him back is wonderful but I swear you don’t even need that. They are so gay and villain you have to love them they are

Villains that conquer planets and do evil stuff, my favourite characters, not really canon but they are the best :)

For Basil and Sunny :

OK SO. I want to share this because Sunny and Basil are the literal definition of "be gay do crimes but taken a bit extreme" but in order to do so I would have to share explicit material. So. WARNING(s): HUGEEE spoilers for the game OMORI,  mentions of manslaughter, staged s//cide, and PTSD. Sunny and Basil were friends, best friends in fact. While they were not canonically a couple nor did they have CANON feelings for each other it is very much homoerotic (LOTS of handholding, the creator also made a tweet that just said "omg basil x sunny already", etc.). But one day Sunny got into a huge fight with his older sister Mari and then accidentally pushed her down the stairs, accidentally killing her. He did not know what to do. He just killed his sister whom he loved very much and he doesn't know what to do. Then Basil somehow comes into the picture, and helps him cover the manslaughter by staging Mari's death as s//cide (they hanged her body with a skipping rope on a tree in Sunny's backyard). By the way I forgot to mention both of them were literally twelve years old at the time. I don't know WHY Basil decided to help him stage the murder like THAT but ok?? Anyway.. Basil tried comforting him, telling him "Everything is going to be okay...", and Basil just wanted to stay with Sunny, to go through all the trauma together, to push through. Both of them felt extreme guilt and stuff. But then, Sunny, instead of going through the trauma became a hikikomori (a person who's severely socially withdrawn) and decided to isolate himself for four years and create a fake dream world where everything is fine, Mari is alive and no one can die. This made Basil extremely traumatized even further because not only did he just commit a huge crime but also his best friend and probable crush just abandoned him and everyone else during these hard times. By the way I forgot to mention Basil has abandonment issues caused by his parents that are never there for him. Ok I definitely went off topic.... Uh basically to summarize: Mari's sister died, Basil and sunny covered the murder (together!!), And then sunny left basil. Definition of be gay do crimes. But they were twelve and traumatized :( (and kinda gay tbh)

hahahahahahshshshaha the never did anything wrong in heir life whatre u taking about everything is fine

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 35

It's 1941! The Second World War is now underway, and we, lucky things that we are, get the glory that is Christopher Ecclestone's Doctor back as we reach the Empty Child.

Incidentally, if you were a young Welsh adult in 2005, this episode absolutely blew your tits clean off even more effectively than Margaret's email. We held WATCH PARTIES for the second part. This was THE story we all went feral for, and it is fascinating revisiting it now, almost two decades later, as part of this incredibly pig-stupid watch order. It looks so dated! Everyone is so young! Richard Wilson has a role for a single scene and completely steals not just the show but the entire fucking series! That hospital is the Old Infirmary in Cardiff! Those train station steps are at Cathays! I'm having THE BEST time

Okay anyway

So this is the first of a two-parter - the Doctor and Rose chase a spaceship that's on Mauve Alert (aliens consider Red Alert to be camp, apparently) through the time stream to land in London, 1941, except they land a month behind it. On landing, the Doctor meets Nancy, a homeless woman who spends her time breaking into people's houses while the air raids are going and stealing food for a horde of adorable homeless urchins, except they're all being menaced by the titular Empty Child, who it emerges is a creepy gas mask zombie that used to be Nancy's brother - until a month ago.

It follows them and has Bluetooth. Likes asking if they're its mam. Connects with phones. There's a fun bit where it makes the TARDIS phone ring, which reactivated an 18 year old memory in me of me fucking GASPING at the time.

Eventually the Doctor makes it to the bomb site. The Old Infirmary I'm sorry a definitely real London hospital is nearby, and Richard Wilson is playing a Doctor inside (some SUPER FUN bits where Nancy says "You need to meet the Doctor" and we're all like "Whoa, another Doctor, say what -" look this episode BLEW OUR TITS CLEAN OFF, okay, it's so atmospheric and mysterious). He's the only one still alive - the wards are filled with rows and rows of people, gas masked like the Empty Child, and equally empty. This is where Nancy's brother was first brought, we're told; and the next day, everyone who touched him became like him. Within the week, so were all the patients. They now all have the exact same injuries, and they lie dormant, like creepy zombies.

It happens to Richard Wilson right in front of us and it's so, so creepy. Fuck me this is a good episode. Like I know, I know, it's a Moffat one, and I'm not going to pretend there aren't the occasional troublesome bit, but the fact is that the man does his best work when he has a talented editor who tells him no and takes the pen out of his hands before he wrecks his own stories. Moffat-edited-by-RTD produces some great stuff, and this is one. Yeah I said it. AND I'D SAY IT AGAIN)

MEANWHILE Rose immediately wandered off after landing ("Just once," the Doctor mournfully tells a random street cat he sees and instantly scoops up and cwtches, "I'd like someone who doesn't wander off. 800 years and it's the only thing that would still surprise me"). She decides to climb a random rope up a blimp for no reason other than The Plot Requires It (curse you, Moffat), and then gets rescued...

BY CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!

:D :D :D

We're getting this in order!!!! We haven't met him before!!! But oh, we have had him TEASED to us, haven't we - we know he gives Whittaker a warning to beware the Lone Cyberman, or billions will die. We know he'll "get round" to Me. And now we're meeting him!!!! Fantastic.

He is, too, he's the epitome of Be Gay Do Crimes. He's a conman. Turns out the spaceship they were chasing - which is somehow causing the gas mask people - was sent by Jack, because he thought they were time agents and wanted to fleece them. It's an ambulance! Though he made sure it was empty, so no clue yet how Bluetooth gas mask zombies are the result. Rose spends the majority of this episode absolutely horny on main for this guy; I mean it's very, you know, Moffatt writing, but also Jack is very fun and sexy so fair enough, girl, he's a sure thing and you got needs you chase that dick. He saves her from falling to her death, too, so that's fun.

Anyway the episode ends on a big cliffhanger. Nancy is found by her empty zombie brother, who corners her in a house and is asking her if she's his mummy. It wakes up all the zombies in the hospital, though, so they start menacing the Doctor, Rose and Jack. There were seventeen of us packed into a tiny student flat to watch the resolution of that, back in 2005. I sat on a cushion on the floor. I am very nostalgic.

Other things hinted at: the Doctor lost a son and a grandson, and knows what it's like to be the only child out in the cold. And Mickey is only Rose's sort of boyfriend, whatever that means. Not many new plot threads - only the cliffhanger really, but we'll be watching that immediately (waiting a week in 2005 was AGONY). But! We can remove the one asking who is Captain Jack Harkness! Fun fun fun.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest.)

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy. NEW INFO: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants)

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?)

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master?

Why has Amy forgotten Rory?

Is Rory plastic or not?

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras?

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die?

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years?

How does the Doctor survive River

How does he erase himself from history