#the energy is spent already i guess lmao

[theraven-gil-lyn]

(minor, but also me breaking my promise to not think too hard about lore)

im sorry flanagan but there’s no way

theres no way

i cannot fathom--

you know i was so caught up in the geography when i was sketching this that when i went to get the quote i forgot that it was double lore conflict but im too tired to deal with it. like arguably i could forgive this part, but the other one conflicts with the FIRST trr my god send an ambulance-- no send a hearse and throw me in who cares

[yuesya]

AAAAAA TWIN AU!! Geto being dragged along onto the trauma rollercoaster that is Satoru’s life as always, lmao. Since the pair can share techniques, though with difficulty, does Satoru eventually become known as even more of a terrifying prodigy for inexplicably having two cursed techniques? Or does Shiki ever manifest outside of Satoru to help out in dire times (Toji) or just to indulge some sadistic urges and everyone’s like ‘there’s two of them now?!’

"Good work, everyone!"

Satoru rolls his shoulders and stretches out his arms as they're finally, finally back on school grounds and within the protective barriers. The past few days spent protecting the Star Plasma Vessel have been long and eventful. If it weren't for the pressing need to prioritize defending Amanai from the relentless assassins and mercenaries aiming for her, he'd really like to have a nice long talk with whoever it was that decided it was a great idea to kill an innocent girl for no other fault than existing.

It's a bit of a touchy point, for Satoru. For obvious reasons.

... He still hasn't made up his mind on if he wants to hunt them down after the mission is concluded. There's no doubt that Shiki would be happily game for it, the bloodthirsty little thing, but Suguru might have a few choice words to say about it all.

Whatever, he'll decide on it later.

Satoru sighs, finally closing his eyes and letting his Limitless technique drop. His innate technique is a taxing one to use even on a good day, and keeping it running 24-7 is tiring, even with Shiki's help. Shiki tries, but unfortunately the formulas are difficult to maintain for her on her own, which means that Satoru still needs to be the one operating the technique. It's a relief that he'll finally be able to take a break now, before-

His cursed energy ripples, and Satoru startles when his Limitless barrier is suddenly yanked back up, most decidedly not of his own volition.

Shiki-?

His eyes widen. Another mercenary? When did he get behind him, and how had he never noticed?

Shiki snarls in his ears, a viciously hateful sound towards the man who'd almost ran them through with a sword, her voice unheard to everyone but Satoru. It's the work of seconds to throw their unexpected assailant away from them with Limitless; Suguru provides assistance by summoning one of his cursed spirits to attack the man the moment they are a good distance away. The worm-spirit swallows the man in a single gulp, but Satoru doubts that will trap him for long.

"Satoru! Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." That was a close one. Thanks, lil' sis. "Don't worry about it, Suguru. He didn't even scratch me."

The man -a Zenin sorcerer? No, not a sorcerer, he had no cursed energy- emerges from the belly of Suguru's cursed spirit in a spectacular spray of off-color gore and viscera, holding a cursed tool that he most certainly hadn't held in his hands just a moment ago.

"Hmm," the man says. "I was sure that you'd disengaged your cursed technique... guess I've gotten rusty."

Disengaged-? So he'd been waiting to ambush them?

Satoru bares his teeth sharply, "Amanai's bounty was lifted already, idiot."

The man smirks, "Yeah, because I was the one who took it down, hotshot."

He was the one who'd put up that timed bounty in the first place? The one that had ensured they were attacked nonstop by opportunistic curse users the past few days?

What an asshole.

"When fighting people like you without any weak spots, you need to have ups and downs and give them the illusion of achievable goals," the man hefts his heavy cursed blade against his shoulder as if it's no lighter than a feather. "If I hadn't set that timed limit on the bounty, you wouldn't have deactivated your technique until the very end... well, not that that worked out, in the end. But you're slipping, aren't you? You didn't even notice me until right before I was about to gut you."

It hadn't been Satoru who'd noticed the man, but Shiki. Even now, standing right in front of him, he was invisible to Satoru's Six Eyes -there was only the cursed energy from his cursed tool and that strange cursed spirit coiled about his body, but apart from that... this man had zero cursed energy. Some strange form of Heavenly Restriction?

Well, that didn't matter.

Satoru closes his eyes.

When he opens them again, everything in the world is covered in cracked red lines -including the would-be murderer who'd nearly gotten the drop on him.

"Me, slipping?" Satoru grins provocatively. "In your dreams."

[extralively]

School Stories: Crush

Gojo Satoru/Original Female Character Pre-Relationship, Bickering, Teenage crush, Obliviousness 2372 words Also posted on AO3 Summary: Suguru comes to the conclusion that Satoru might have developed a little crush on a certain someone...

Honestly, I had the first part of this written for soooo long but I just hadn't been able to finish writing it for some reason (ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩) I did end up sort of finishing it now, though it's shorter than I had initially planned, but alas. Should still be fun! Hopefully!

(Also, you may notice in this story that I mention a little something about how Gojo and Geto met that is actually all my own personal headcanon lmao. I don't think there's anything in the manga that necessarily contradicts this, but let me know otherwise! Basically, my headcanon is that they actually met a couple of years pre-Jujutsu Tech by running into each other, and Gojo immediately saw Geto's potential with his Six Eyes and started bugging him about it. So Gojo was the one who recruited Geto to become a sorcerer, and they eventually started spending a lot of time together and became friends, then ended up joining Jujutsu Tech together.

...idk I just like the idea that they knew each other for longer before everything went to shit, it hurts more lol)

Anyway, enjoy this silly little fic!

2006

It all started when Suguru came back to school from this one spring break.

...Well, okay, maybe it didn’t exactly start right then, but it sure got him noticing it more.

There were still a couple of days left in spring break before the new school year started, but Suguru had already come back to the school after spending time with his family. And as much as being with his family was nice and all... he was just really glad to be back in Jujutsu Tech.

So his first order of the day was to find Satoru so they could catch up—but the problem was that Satoru wasn’t at the dorms, and Suguru couldn’t sense him anywhere on school grounds. Well, Suguru had actually come back a little earlier this time around, and he hadn’t really let Satoru know in advance, so he simply pulled out his phone to text his white-haired friend and see what he was up to.

Suguru: I just got back Suguru: where u at

Suguru started making himself comfortable in his room, waiting for a reply. A couple of minutes later, his phone pinged with a text message.

Satoru: out

Suguru snorted—well, no shit. Satoru had too much energy to stay cooped up for long, so Suguru regularly received updates from his friend’s random outings—‘Suguru, I just bought new glasses,’ or ‘Suguru, they’ve got new Digimon figurines for sale,’ or ‘Suguru, I just got a girl’s number, and she has a friend!!’

...But, most often these days, Satoru’s messages seemed to revolve around one subject in particular.

‘Suguru, Wakatsuki and I went shopping, I got you a hat,’ he would text. Or ‘Suguru, Wakatsuki won’t let me pick out her karaoke songs,’ or ‘Suguru, Wakatsuki just fell asleep in my room watching a movie what do I do??’

If Satoru and Wakatsuki had unexpectedly spent a lot of time together last summer, it seemed that they were intent on doing the exact same thing whenever school went on break. And judging by how long Satoru had taken to answer his latest message, Suguru guessed the other boy was pretty busy right now.

Suguru: you out on a date

There was a pause before the next message came along.

Satoru: I’m with Wakatsuki

Suguru snorted.

Suguru: on a date

The next reply came hilariously quickly.

Satoru: no

Suguru snickered to himself.

Suguru: if you say so

Honestly, how had they even gotten here in the first place?

Last summer, Suguru had gone back home fully expecting Satoru to do the same—that the other boy would be heading back to the Gojo Estate during break. But then a few days after he’d arrived at his parents’ house, Suguru had discovered that Satoru had not, in fact, left school at all. After some prodding, the white-haired teenager had claimed he would much rather stay there than be forced to handle his family’s nagging face-to-face again, and had even rejected the idea to come stay with Suguru instead.

And that had worried Suguru a bit. Satoru, left all by himself at the school with no one around to rein him in?

A recipe for disaster.

Even worse was when he’d found out that Wakatsuki had also not left the school for some reason, and considering how she and Satoru had constantly been at each other’s throats during the first half of the school year...

A recipe for an even worse disaster.

Suguru had tried to assuage his fears by telling himself that Yaga would still be around, and that their sensei had actually developed a knack for keeping those two from throttling each other. But still, Suguru kept offering Satoru to join him during that summer, which Satoru continued to refuse; in the few times Suguru had brought his white-haired friend to meet his parents... it hadn’t turned out very well. Satoru was too different, too alien to get along with Suguru’s very normal parents, the small town they lived in too tiny and boring to hold Gojo Satoru for long.

So Satoru had stayed at the school all throughout the past summer, but at least he had promised to keep Suguru up to date with frequent text updates. That had provided some semblance of comfort to Suguru as he kept receiving reassurances that Satoru hadn’t blown up the entire school from sheer boredom, but then...

‘ugh, Yaga is sending me on a mission with Wakatsuki of all people,’ Satoru had texted him at one point. ‘I don’t need all the dead weight.’

‘Satoru,’ Suguru had replied. ‘Play nice.’

Suguru had been... a little worried. Mostly about Wakatsuki, because Satoru didn’t exactly know the meaning of the word moderation and Wakatsuki herself held no qualms about provoking one of the strongest sorcerers of the modern age despite their, ahem, differences in strength. And as Satoru’s texts complaining about the mission eventually ceased after half a day or so, Suguru had only ended up even more worried about what might have happened when those two were finally left alone with each other.

Really, Suguru had expected the worst.

But then a day later, Satoru had finally texted him back saying that the mission was done—and yes, Wakatsuki was still alive.

So that had been a relief. Satoru hadn’t accidentally squashed Wakatsuki while fighting, and those two had managed to survive being alone with each other for longer than Suguru had ever thought possible.

And as it turned out, they had done more than just survive being around each other, but Suguru would only come to understand what that meant after he’d returned from that year’s summer break. Because as he stayed with his parents during summer, Suguru had only vaguely started to notice that Satoru’s messages were slowing down as the days went on, almost like the other boy had found something to actually occupy his time with on a regular basis.

That something? Wakatsuki herself. And when Suguru finally returned from summer break, he’d been shell shocked to enter Satoru’s room to find them both there, watching a movie together.

So, something had happened during that summer, something that had eventually led to Satoru and Wakatsuki agreeing on some sort of truce between themselves. And that truce quickly evolved as they eventually became friends—real, honest, constantly bickering, friends. A true miracle had happened last year, and when Satoru wasn’t spending time with Suguru, then he sure was spending time with her.

...Spending time with her in a strange way sometimes... and this spring break hadn’t been any different.

“...I’m gonna take it off,” a voice was heard out in the hallway, and Suguru perked up. It was a girl’s voice, a familiar one—and accompanying it was a very familiar cursed energy signature.

“No, you lost the bet,” Satoru’s voice was heard. Suguru jumped up to his feet, moving towards the door.

“I’ve been wearing it all day,” Wakatsuki said. “I’m done.”

“No.”

“I’m taking it off—hey!”

“You’re going to wear it all the way to bed!”

“Says who?!”

“Says me!”

As Suguru popped his head out of his room, his eyes immediately spotted the two other teenagers standing in the middle of the hallway—and the ridiculous Digimon hat that Satoru had undoubtedly made Wakatsuki wear.

“You two look like you’re having fun,” Suguru greeted them with a grin.

“Yo, Suguru!” Satoru greeted back—as Wakatsuki sent the white-haired teenager a half-hearted glare. Her hands were raised up near her head, probably to take the silly hat off, but Satoru had both of her wrists held in his own hands to keep her from doing just that.

“Lemme go,” she grumbled, trying to pull her hands away—but Satoru was not budging. So she huffed, leaning backwards enough so she could raise a leg and half-heartedly kick Satoru’s side.

He still did not budge.

“Am I interrupting something?” Suguru asked, his smile turning sly.

Satoru seemed oblivious to what Suguru was trying to imply, so the other boy simply grinned some more. “Wakatsuki is just being a sore loser, that’s all.”

“I’ve kept my side of the agreement!” Wakatsuki called, and Satoru finally released her wrists. Wakatsuki did not waste any time grabbing the hat off her head and chucking it straight at Satoru’s face, then promptly rushing off to her own room. “Keep that Digimon freak away from me!”

It was hard to take her seriously when she stuck her tongue out at Satoru before closing herself inside her room, the Digimon hat harmlessly thudding against the wooden surface after Satoru had thrown it back at her.

Suguru snickered to himself.

...What a fun date it must have been...

-

“Satoru,” Suguru called, trying to contain his smirk. “You’re drooling.”

Satoru blinked, finally realizing he was staring.

Staring at what, in particular?

Wakatsuki stretching out her legs as they warmed up for class, of course. She had worn shorts today, probably due to the increasingly warm weather, and it wasn’t hard for Suguru to notice where Satoru’s eyes had been glued to, even behind his sunglasses.

“Shut up,” Satoru suddenly said with a huff, immediately turning around and starting to stretch out his arms despite not really needing to.

Also, the tips of his ears were definitely red.

Suguru snorted, and from the other side of the training grounds, his eyes met Shoko’s to exchange a knowing glance with her.

(It seemed that Wakatsuki hadn’t realized it either...)

“Satoru,” Suguru half-whispered, his smile turning devious. “Do you have a crush?”

Satoru still refused to turn around, just as his ears refused to stop shining red. “S-shut up. I do not.”

Oh, he totally did.

Suguru would have to admit that his previous teasing of Satoru over his, ahem, relationship with Wakatsuki had been mostly just that—teasing. It was kind of funny to think about how close those two had gotten despite the rocky start they’d had, and that they actually enjoyed spending all that time together now without complaint.

But to think that Satoru had developed an actual crush on her?

Hilarious.

Wasn’t Wakatsuki the one Satoru had deemed a complete weakling on day one? And yet, now here he was, desperately trying to pretend he hadn’t just been ogling said weakling in the middle of jujutsu class because it turned out he had a crush.

...Honestly, how hadn’t Wakatsuki realized it yet? Satoru wasn’t exactly subtle, and they spent a lot of time together. Sure, Suguru himself had only just realized it... but he was pretty sure that, in the back of his mind, he’d known that for a while now.

It really was that obvious.

Throughout the years they’d known each other, Suguru had watched Satoru try to woo quite a few girls by now—and it was always a trainwreck. Satoru’s good looks were forced to the heavy lifting for him like 90% of the time, because when Satoru opened his mouth, he was as overly confident as he was a socially awkward mess. Suguru found it hard to miss whenever Satoru became interested in someone (he usually became three times as loud and obnoxious, for starters), though he’d have to say that Satoru’s arrogance usually covered up for his total inability to talk to other people like a normal human being—the Gojo clan’s fault, of course—so maybe it went unnoticed by everyone else.

...But also, Suguru thought Wakatsuki was smart.

Had she noticed it but was ignoring it? Suguru didn’t think so—given how those two were always bickering with each other, he didn’t think Wakatsuki would be able to act normally around him if she knew that Satoru kept ogling her in class.

But... did she maybe have a crush on him?

Suguru hummed to himself, thoughtful, as he watched Satoru try to get a rise out of the girl in question. Like a boy tugging on a girl’s pigtails to get her attention, almost predictably so—but what did Wakatsuki feel about it?

It was hard to tell, to be honest. Wakatsuki was a lot more guarded than Satoru was, and Suguru didn’t know her that well. Suguru knew that she enjoyed spending time with Satoru for sure, but how far did that go?

...Hm...

Suguru watched as Yaga scolded Satoru and Wakatsuki—Wakatsuki having been successfully riled up by the white-haired teenager. Then he snorted when Satoru turned around and Wakatsuki raised a leg to literally kick his butt, before scampering off to hide behind Shoko so Yaga wouldn’t scold them again.

...Suguru would not be opposed to playing matchmaker if needed to, actually. Satoru needed someone who could keep him grounded—someone who didn’t really care about his status of being Gojo Satoru, and someone who wouldn’t let his strength get to his head. Suguru himself was trying to do his part in that, and the Gojo Satoru he’d first run into those three and something years ago was certainly not the same Gojo Satoru that existed now.

‘You’re strong, actually,’ Satoru had told him back then, and even though it had technically been a compliment, Satoru’s tone of voice had made it sound like a backhanded compliment instead. ‘You should become a sorcerer.’

Satoru had definitely mellowed out a bit from the arrogant boy he’d first met back then, and Suguru had worked hard to steer him away from the asshole that the Gojo clan had raised him to be.

...So it was kind of funny that the other person helping with that now seemed to be someone on the exact opposite end of the spectrum of strength. The fact that Satoru had been able to overlook Wakatsuki’s ‘weakness’ spoke volumes to how much he’d grown, and the thought of those two getting together now amused Suguru to no end.

Maybe one day, once Suguru was sure that the crush was mutual. After all, he didn’t want to ruin the careful balance that had been struck between Satoru and Wakatsuki last year in case he was mistaken. Maybe it would be better to just leave them be and see where they ended up by themselves...

...for now. There would be plenty of time for some matchmaking later, after all.

End notes: So that was that! I really need to continue writing the main story now halp

[sutherkins]

peter sutherland x neurodivergent!reader 💌

this is very self indulgent lmao. i tried to keep the mental stuff vague so you can hopefully imagine any mental illness in place of stuff besides the reader clearly having adhd because i have adhd. i hope anyone who reads this is able to relate and feel understood and comforted <3

warnings: mention of recreational drug use, reader is in between ages of 21-25 (i’m 23, so)

it’s not like you were opposed to telling peter about your medication. if he asked, you wouldn’t lie. you just didn’t want to be the first to bring it up. you knew you shouldn’t be ashamed of having to be on medication, and you knew he would never judge you, but you couldn’t help it.

that lasted for a couple months. your meds wore off around four or five in the afternoon and because of this, a lot of the time you got to spend with peter before he had to go to work was spent holding yourself back and trying to keep your symptoms closed off in an area he couldn’t see.

but now there was a problem. peter was somehow able to manage a couple weeks of vacation time in order to spend more time with you, real time he had always called it. he hated only getting to spend a couple hours with you each day just as much as you did, which was why he asked you to stay with him at a cabin he owned during his time away from work.

you said yes, of course. you figured he’d eventually find out during the trip, so you tried to relax at the thought of the conversation at the very least happening in a comforting environment. you’d just finished packing your bags when peter walked down the hallway of his apartment complex to your door and knocked. you smiled, you’d given him a key already so he didn’t need to knock, he came over all the time anyway. you liked that he did it anyways, always respectful of your privacy and space.

“you ready?” peter asked while grabbing your bags and walking them down to his car.

you nodded excitedly and hopped into the passenger seat, the car already full with snacks for the drive and your favorite music playing on the radio.

the two of you sat in comfortable silence until your meds started to kick in, kicking your energy into high gear and making it practically impossible for you to keep your mouth shut. you were worried he would start to get annoyed by so much chitchat but he didn’t seem to mind, intently listening to everything you had to say and responding when needed. he even laughed a couple times which was a victory in your book.

you arrived at the cabin soon after, beaming at the cabin and then at peter. “sorry for talking so much. i didn’t annoy you, did i?”

“of course not, pretty girl. it’s just your meds kicking in. nothing wrong with that. besides, i love listening to you.” he quickly grabbed the bags from his trunk and started leading you to the front door.

once you got inside you tilted your head, peter setting the bags down on the floor. “wait, how did you know i take medication?”

“i’ve seen it in your bathroom cabinet. ‘take one every morning’.” he quotes the label that’s printed on the bottle. “it’s for adhd, right?”

your face scrunched, “well, yes. i never outright told you so i just assumed you didn’t know. you don’t mind?”

peter grabbed your hand and led you to the couch in the living room, silently telling you to get comfortable while he got a fire started. “why would i mind? there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“no, i know. i mean, i know you know that too. my brain just…likes to lie to me sometimes. im guessing this also means you saw the other meds i take, then?” sighing, you squeezed his hand in need of reassurance.

“yeah. and just to repeat myself, there’s still nothing wrong with you or taking medication. whether it’s for adhd, anxiety, depression, insomnia… anything really. it doesn’t change the way i see you and it never has.” peter squeezed your hand in response, leaning over to kiss your cheek.

cheeks quickly turning red, you groaned and leaned your head onto his shoulder, hiding your face behind your hands.

he was having none of it, moving your hands and replacing them with his own, cupping your cheeks. “hey, hey, hey…none of that. you don’t need to hide with me.”

“i know, i know. i just need reminding sometimes.” smiling softly, you gazed at his loving expression, his thumb gently rubbing back and forth on your skin.

“i’m happy to do it.” moments pass before you hear peters voice again, now wavering from trying not to laugh. “im happy to try some of those edibles you have too. i saw you packed ‘em in your bag. did you really think i wouldn’t notice you getting high?”

“peter!” you poked his side until he fell backwards laying on the couch, your legs straddling his hips. “it’s for my anxiety. and for fun.” his hands immediately shift to rest on your waist, grinning up at you. “i think i’m a bad influence on you.”

he snorts. “oh, definitely. i kinda like it though.”

[nowoyas]

Koi no Yokan 21: push through (nishinoya yuu/reader)

First - Prev - Next (coming 11/9!) - M.list - Ao3

A/N: and a double update! I wasn't gonna leave y'all with just 700 words and call it a day lmao. I feel like I should be wishing y'all a happy nanowrimo. I've been doing that challenge half my life. it feels weird to have divested myself from it now.

Summary: The training camp continues in spite of the heat. Your concussion makes you feel like you're on a roller coaster.

Warnings and Tags: suggestive themes if you take your glasses off

Words: 3200+

The next day, you nap for two hours after lunchtime and meander your way downstairs. The headache hasn't exactly faded, but if you can just hide it, you can still be in the gym. The question is whether or not you can handle the volume enough for that to be sustainable. Before you even reach the gym, you run directly into a wall.

Or rather, you note once you've caught your balance and your bearings, you run into Tsukishima.

"Oh! Sorry, Tsukishima-san. I guess my brain's not awake yet," you explain with a laugh. "Concussion naps are killer."

Tsukishima—unfazed, the bastard—looks down at you for a moment. Stares, really. You raise an eyebrow at him. "You alright?"

He sighs. "Yeah. Sorry. Bathroom."

…right. "Okay. I'm just gonna—" You sidestep him, move to slink down the hallway behind him, but a hand closes around your wrist suddenly.

"Wait."

"…waiting."

He chews on his words for a moment, avoiding your eyes. "Why did you bother showing up here?"

You flinch, shooting him a wounded look. "Alright, we're being an asshole, I see. Because I'm a manager and managers go to the training camps. Is that a problem?"

"No, I mean—" He lets out a frustrated sigh. "I mean, why are you here when you have a concussion? It's not like anyone would have stopped you from resting at home for the week."

…okay, that's a little better. "I might have been more comfortable, but I wouldn't have been happier. I would've been bored and annoyed and useless." You eye him. You've seen the way he is during practice—tired, lower-key, there to be there. Compared to anyone else on the team, he's certainly taller, and you've heard them talk about how much potential Tsukishima has and just fails to use because he doesn't want to try. "Why are you asking?"

He shrugs. "Just curious."

"You suck at lying. Try again. Why are you asking?"

His left eye twitches a little. "I already answered."

"No, look. You want advice, you get advice, but you have to actually ask me outright. You're not asking why I'm here for no reason. What's your actual problem?"

"I just don't get why everyone on this team tries so hard all the time. You drag yourself to Tokyo even though it sucks, everyone else is putting themselves through penalty after brutal penalty, risking injuries… it's way too much effort for something that's just a club at the end of the day."

Ah.

You get it.

You get it well.

You hum, leaning against the wall. "You're trying to figure out why everyone else is passionate when you aren't."

"I guess."

"I mean, that's a tough one. The weirdest part is that you're lumping me in with the passionate ones when I've spent most of the time since joining the club being actively jealous of everyone else in the club for having something they love doing and doing it. If I could figure out how the hell to have half their energy, I'd do it."

"But you've got the energy to try harder than I would. If I'd gotten a concussion, no one would have seen me for a month. Where does that energy come from?"

You shrug. "I guess… I just… I want to be happy, and I don't want to go home. And now that I'm here, I don't want to feel like I don't need to be here. I can't miss time or not show up and lose to someone who's better than me."

He snorts. "What, do you think you're gonna get overtaken by the other managers or something?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

He gives you a surprised look.

"I mean, you saw those posters Yachi-san made. I don't get passion, I don't know how to be like her, but among the two of us, she's done something amazing for you guys. She is amazing. When there's someone else doing the same job, filling the same role… isn't it normal to not want to lose to them? Isn't it normal to push through the headaches so I can at least stand on equal footing with her?"

"And when they outclass you so hard there's no point in fighting?"

"Then you quit." You shrug. "I'm not saying I want you to, but like… if I didn't think there was any chance of me being good enough to be worth being here at all, I'd just stop showing up and find something else to fill my time. Probably go back to starting fistfights and stuff. In your case, though, it's not like Hinata can be both middle blockers in a lineup. There's something you can do that he can't, and if you actually gave a shit, you could probably shine just as bright in a totally different way. You're way better off than me."

You move past him, down the hall, intent on pushing through the pain. He disappears into the bathroom, and you—

You run smack into Yachi.

"Oh, Yachi-san. Are you also running to the bathroom?"

There's a wounded look in her eyes, and—

Oh.

She heard you.

~

Yachi returns to the gym with you in tow—apparently, she'd only been coming to wake you, since you had mentioned not wanting to keep sleeping until dinner. She also reports to Sensei that your head's still bothering you after your restless nap. Within five minutes of entering the gym, you are kicked out again to chill outside until your headache clears, which means you're also forced to overthink about how she might be interpreting what you had to say about her.

It's not like you said anything bad. Yeah, you sense danger from her in the sense that she's better than you and you need to work hard to justify showing up at all when she's here. Yeah, she's amazing and did amazing things. Those are all compliments.

But…

She looked halfway to crying. She wasn't taking it as a compliment.

You pass the time sitting on the hill outside, watching whichever team just lost a set running up the hill and joining the girls in handing out water bottles and mixing sports drinks for Karasuno as needed. You don't try to avoid Yachi—if anything, you do try to talk to her, but she's clearly avoiding you, and that makes things worse, so after the first few set losses, you stop trying to talk to her and just focus on manager duties.

When one of the other teams comes out, you'll scamper up to their manager(s) and join in—Suzumeda, Shirofuku, Otaki, and Miyanoshita are generally happy for the help after you assure them that your limit right now is that you're not allowed in the gym and not that you can't do anything. They don't let you lift, but they let you pass out bottles and towels, and you take the chance to chat with them and generally fill the time between now and the end of your exile.

It's a little odd that Nekoma doesn't have a manager, so when they lose a set, you take it upon yourself to approach the coach with a sheepish smile.

"Um, excuse me, sir?"

He turns to you, relaxes with a smile. "You're one of Karasuno's girls, right?"

You nod. "I've been exiled from the gym due to my concussion until my headache clears a bit more, and I noticed your team doesn't have a manager. If you'd like, I can help pass out drinks and stuff out here until I'm allowed to rejoin my team? No ulterior motives or anything, I'm just really bored and couldn't stand sleeping upstairs any longer."

He nods his assent, and you excitedly move to handing out drinks at the top of the hill, taking care to make sure you don't miss any Nekoma guys. It's entertainment enough, makes you feel useful despite the headache, and you find the headache quickly fading as you get your mind off it.

You also find a set of intense eyes staring you down. It's Mohawk Guy, the one that seemed to have been friends with Tanaka and Noya. You roll your eyes and make your way over to him, holding out a bottle. "Here. You can just flag me down, it's fine."

He accepts the bottle, stammering with a profuse blush. Much shier than he looks. Interesting. "Uh—t-thank you! It's v-very nice of you to—to—to help out like this!"

You snort. "People really like confusing me for a nice person. I'm just bored, don't get it confused."

"Bored? What are you doing out here instead of with your team, anyway?" one of the other guys—first year, tall as shit, silvery hair, foreign-looking—says.

You shrug. "I've been banned from the gym until the headache clears. Something about don't make your concussion symptoms worse," you say in a mocking tone. "I'll be fine. They're just worried about me being around too much noise. If you ask me, it's louder out here with the cicadas than it could ever be in the gym."

"Concussion? What happened?"

Huh. You kinda figured one of your guys would have mentioned it. You shrug. "Oh, I don't really remember it. Apparently Hinata took my head off with a spike a couple of weeks ago."

"U-um!" Mohawk Guy says suddenly. "H-how did—I mean—what should I—"

You raise an eyebrow, watch him babble in amusement. He gets almost sort of halfway towards a full sentence before Nekoma's libero smacks the back of his head. "You're gonna freak her out. How many times do I have to tell you to be normal?"

You stifle a laugh as the libero turns to you with a bow.

"I'm so sorry about him. He doesn't know how to talk to girls. I think he's trying to ask what to do to recruit a manager to our team. He made a failed effort to recruit a manager a few weeks ago."

You laugh, shake your head. "No worries. I'm used to guys like that. But, you know—" Your eyes slide to Mohawk. "—you'd probably do a better job either sending someone else to ask girls or building yourself up until you can talk to girls without the staring contest to start out. You're pretty intense-looking, and I'm more or less immune to that at this point, but 99.9% of girls are gonna get scared off by that combination and become impossible to recruit."

"T-thank you! Sorry!"

Okay, wow. Yeah, you think the Noya vaccine is the only thing protecting you right now. "No need to apologize. Maybe just like… practice talking to real girls so you don't freeze up like this?"

"How am I supposed to practice talking to girls if girls won't talk to me?" he laments.

"Ah. Good point. I mean, you're talking to me just fine…? Just like, pretend you're talking to a person instead of a goddess or something and you'll be alright."

Giving out girl advice wasn't where you'd hoped to take today, but it works well enough, and it keeps your mind off things with Yachi for a minute, which is nice. When he bows and runs off to re-join his team, you sigh a little. It feels good to be useful, at least.

~

[name] to Noya at 22:01

[name]: level one soba request

Noya: is level one soba the worst or the lightest

[name]: the lightest

[name]: level 100 soba request is like, someone just died or something

Noya: [image attached. Image description: A white handkerchief on top of a lump. A tail and one paw stick out from underneath the cloth.]

Noya: Halloween edition Soba!

Noya: talk about it?

[name]: nah

[name]: but thank you for the soba 

~

Yachi wouldn't talk to you for the rest of the day, or this morning in the bathrooms, or at breakfast. You don't think anyone's noticed, and you do a good job of distracting the other girls before they can notice. This doesn't need to be dramatic. You just… need to clear the air with her. Somehow. When she won't even look at you.

God, you used to be good at talking to people. Where's that skill now?

Anyways, at least Tsukishima's making some kind of progress in his volleyball-related soul-searching. The first indication is a simple question before their set this morning. Coach is doing his pre-set pep talk, reminding the guys of things like it's enough to get a hand on the ball, when Tsukishima speaks up.

"We don't have to stop it?"

It snaps the attention of the rest of the team to him, and you feel the slightest swell of pride at the look in his eyes. You hadn't been particularly invested in whether or not he decided to give a fuck about volleyball—sure, it'd be handy to have his height actually on Karasuno's side, instead of just showing up because he doesn't have anything better to do, but you can't say you had any interest in pushing him one way or another.

That, of course, doesn't mean that you don't notice when he looks a little different during the next set, when his arms go up for a block and he actually looks scary. Fukurodani's ace gets around it, barely, and you listen as his teammates tease him for running away from a block.

He ran away from Tsukishima.

You huff, smile. He'll probably never admit to really trying. You're the same type, after all, but… he's playing differently, just a bit. You know what it looks like to start trying, just a little bit, just so you can figure out whether it's worth trying any harder than that.

He's searching for an answer, and you hope he finds one. Maybe you can find one too, in time.

~

It is in the showers that night that Yachi finally decides to talk to you. She could have picked any time before this, but she chose now, while you're combing some fancy bullshit through your hair courtesy of Kaede, still wrapped up in nothing but a towel, still mostly dripping wet. She marches right up, standing too close.

You suppose it's the first chance you've had to be really alone since the thing, excluding last night's shower run. There's not really much point in there being staged showers for the managers in the same way the guys have to split up shower slots by year to fit everyone in, but it's the first years' turn to shower after the other girls have gone anyway, which really just means it's you and Yachi alone in the showers for as long as you need.

She's in an equal state of undress, standing closer than you thought her capable of with a burning look in her eye. "[s-surname]-san!"³⁶

You frown. The -san is a bit of a downgrade. "Yachi-san?"

"I… I wanted you to know…!" She's got her fist clenched, eye contact unflinching for possibly the first time in her life. It's not a bad look on her. Neither is the towel.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," you try to interrupt, but she stomps her foot and you let her continue.

"I-I don't want to lose to you, either!"

Oh.

"If—if Tsukishima-kun has a different role to fill than Hinata, even though they play the same position, then I don't see why both of us being in the same position means that we can't both be useful!"

You flinch a little. "I wasn't—I'm sorry. You know there's no hard feelings on my end, right?"

"D-do you?" she snaps.

You're going to panic at this rate. You probably fucked things up permanently, the way this is going, but—

"I respect you! I respect you a lot! It made me really happy to hear that you think I'm amazing! But it's important to me that you know that I don't think I'm any better than you, and that I think you're actually way cooler than me, prettier than me, and fit in way better!"

"I'm not—"

"I-I'm not done! You look down on yourself way too much, and it's really frustrating because if you're so cool and still looking down on yourself, what am I, even? I'm not half the manager you are. I wouldn't be pushing through a concussion like this. I'm still learning a bunch of stuff that you seem to just already know somehow even though we started at the same time! I would never have a—an almost-boyfriend, or whatever you have going on with Nishinoya-san. I'd never be able to. I'm basically just here until everyone figures out that I'm not that great and gets annoyed with me, or until they figure out that I'm—that I'm, like, broken or something, and then it's just going to be you left because I won't be able to be around anymore and—"

"Woah, pause, wait, you're not broken, so let's start with that. I said it before, right? There's nothing wrong with you that's any worse than anyone else I know."

"B-but I don't think I'm like you," she insists. She's making a valiant effort to shove down tears, and it's sort of working. "Sometimes I think I can fit in, and I'm just like everyone else, but I know that's not right. Normal people aren't like this. Normal girls aren't like me."

You frown. "I… you seem normal to me, but I guess I'm not seeing things from inside your head."

"I'm sorry if I'm being presumptuous, or pushy, or… I just… I admire you, you know? I don't want you to feel like you're not good enough because of someone like me."

You huff. "I guess that puts us on the same page…? Thanks."

"I don't want to lose to you, either. S-so, let's keep working hard together, okay?"

You stick out a hand for her to shake, scramble to hold up your towel with the other hand. "Alright. Friends?"

She takes it, serious look falling away to a bright smile. "Friends."

36. In editing, I kept nearly fucking up this sentence because I keep a style guide on my character notes for how everyone refers to each other with like, supporting textual evidence/character notes on how in-plot events affect this, so generally any inconsistencies you see in honorific or nickname uses are deliberate decisions.³⁷ I still kept almost fucking this up because Reader is listed in Yachi's note as "[surname]-chan" during this arc and my urge is to match up to the style guide always. She's also one of the only style guides I've gotten up to date since moving into a centralized note-taking platform… I think I mostly just need to strike a fine balance between referring to my notes and trusting myself.

37. For example, during the popsicle scene in chapter four ("Nishinoya!"), the intention is very much "playful indignation" in response to Noya's horrific eating habits. I'm holding back on digging into Reader's honorific usage rules here but I think thinking about these things easily adds twenty minutes onto writing time whenever I include a new character or dynamic where I haven't yet made notes on how one character refers to a specific other character. Honorifics are really fun as a tool for relationship dynamics.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @kazunish

[strwyofthesun]

reminiscing...

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

synopsis: you and leon return from a mission in europe. while settling back down in your shared apartment with him, the both of you take a trip down memory lane.

word count: 1.4k

content: just fluff lmao

a/n: this is my first post on here so i'm not really expecting alot. but i love writing (though i'm not the best at it) and so i'll probably be posting just for myself but if this is well received then why not post for the general public too i guess so let me know if u want me to write anything hehe... i hope u guys like it !

after returning from a long and exhausting mission with leon from europe, you headed back to your shared apartment with him to finally rest without the thought of zombies chasing the two of you like there’s no tomorrow. the keys to the apartment jangle in your hands as you open the door and let yourself and leon in with all your luggage.

“nothing better than home sweet home.” leon panted as he dropped the luggage onto the floor, clearly fatigued and body aching from the recent mission. he shuffles slowly behind you and wraps him arms around you while burying his face into your neck.

you chuckle, “i can’t agree with you more.” you kiss his head and just stay there, completely relaxing in leon’s arms. it felt like ages since the two of you have spent time like this. sure, you’ve been sent on missions together, but the feeling and the atmosphere feels different from then and now. serenity, calmness, feeling like you can actually let your guard down at last. it feels even better sharing these idle moments of peace with the love of your life, leon.

“hey c’mon, let’s unpack our luggage hm?” you said as your patted his head. leon removes himself from the side of your neck and looks up at you, “okay, okay…”

once the both of you finished unpacking, you both enjoy a warm shower together before snuggling close to each other in bed. the both of you were conversing when leon’s focus suddenly shifted to the large stuffed teddy bear that occupied the corner of the bedroom along with the other many stuffed toys.

“hey, what’s up? why are you looking at that?” you asked curiously.

“just reminiscing… it’s been awhile since i’ve won you another stuffed toy…” he replied, smiling at the memories that came flooding back to him.

—

during your trainee days at the RPD, one way to enjoy your time together with leon was going on dates at the carnival. the fun colors, the lights, the atmosphere, the screams of enjoyment rang in the air, what was there not to love? the carnival was like a breath of relief compared to the tense and competitive energy when training at the RPD. you’ve went on multiple dates at carnivals as trainees and as agents yet neither of you ever got tired of it. nothing felt old, everything always felt like a new and exhilarating experience with leon by your side. but the first time was particularly memorable to the both of you.

“come on! just put your hands up when we start going down, i swear it’ll be fun!”

“no, no, no, leon i can’t what if i fall from my seat?!”

“you won’t, i’ve got you!

“you promise?”

the rollercoaster was almost at its peak when you already started screaming as the gut wrenching feeling of anxiety starts kicking in.

“i promise.” leon said while giving you a reassuring smile as he intertwined his hand with yours. “here it comes!” he shouts as the rollercoaster began to descend at a rapid speed. you screamed your head off with leon as you both put your free hands in the air. the adrenaline was pumping in and for a moment you did enjoy it to some extent. but whatever enjoyment you had was short-lived once the ride was finished.

“oh god, i don’t think i’ll ever get used to that.” you murmur whilst getting off the ride. leon still held your hand as he assisted you all the while laughing at the state you’re in.

“need to throw up?” he joked. “fuck, i might thr-“ you cut yourself off and covered your mouth as you ran to the closest trash bin in sight. leon’s eyes widened and immediately ran after you. he held your hair back as you threw up what seemed like your breakfast and lunch into the trash bin.

“…are you okay?” leon asked quietly with a hint of remorse in his voice.

“do i look okay to you?!” you responded in a pissed tone.

“i’m so sorry… let me get you some water from one of the stalls while you freshen up in the comfort room ‘kay?”

you didn’t respond and headed straight to the comfort room. while you were fixing yourself up, leon was buying water from a nearby stall and even got you your favorite snacks. afterwards, he waited outside the comfort room to check up on you. a few seconds passed by until you exited the comfort room, still pissed at leon.

“i got you water and your favorite snacks... it’s important to rehydrate yourself when you thro-“

leon’s words were going in your ear and out the other, all you did was grab the water bottle out of his hand and drank it. he soon noticed that you weren’t paying any mind to him and abruptly stopped you.

“are you really mad at me?” his voice sounding more concerned this time. you answered back, “i don’t know leon, you tell me.”

“look i’ll make it up to you!” he quickly responded and swiftly scanned the carnival, thinking of ways to make it up to you. then, he spotted a mini-game that would later become a favorite of his in the future. “over there! a shooting game let’s go!” you scoffed as he dragged you to the stall like a little kid.

“hello there young man! interested in playing our game? all you have to do is shoot down all these five bottles to win the major prize for your little girlfriend over here!” the man handling game said to leon while smiling at you.

leon gave his money to the man and was given a toy gun loaded with only 6 pellets. “you have one pellet per bottle and an extra just incase you miss, goodluck!” the man enthusiastically greeted leon. “watch me make light work of this.” he said before giving you a wink.

he then cocked the gun and aimed it at the bottle. skillfully, one by one, leon took all the bottles down without even needing to use the extra pellet. you had to admit, seeing leon try really hard to make it up to you made your heart flutter, and the sight of him handling the gun so well just made you fall for him even harder.

“congratulations! you won! you may now pick your major prize.”

“i’ll have that one, the largest one!” he said excitedly. it pulled on your heart strings seeing leon in that state, feeling childish and so happy. knowing what he’s been through, he deserves all the best.

the man grabbed the large stuffed teddy bear and handed it to leon and his eyes sparkled with glee. he turned to face you as he gave you the teddy bear that was almost your size. you held the teddy bear and couldn’t help but break into a smile.

“thank you leon, i love it…” you say silently but loud enough for leon to hear. he felt a wave of relief seeing you finally smiling. he walked closer to you and gave you a sweet kiss on the lips, “you’re always welcome and i’m sorry, please forgive me…” he whispered. you glance over at leon and whispered back to him, “i forgive you…”

—

“i remember you throwing up a lot, you were so loud too that the kids were looking at you concerned and telling their mommies they didn’t want to ride what you rode.” leon said as he broke into a fit of laughter.

“and who’s fault was that?! weren’t you the one that dragged me into the ride?!” you shouted as you punched leon.

“ow! atleast i made up for it!”

“yeah, you did… you’re lucky those training sessions actually helped you.”

“what can i say? you’re looking at the man who topped his classes.”

“okay, okay, no need to get cocky, maybe you’re forgetting i ranked second to you”

“say that again. you ranked what? second!” leon burst into laughter once more and you retaliated by play fighting with him in bed. eventually, the two of you wore each other out and the both of you have calmed down from laughing so much that your stomachs hurt. you turn to face leon but he was already looking at you.

“i love you leon…” you said lovingly, placing your hand on his cheek and caressing it gently.

he held your hand that caressed his cheek and kissed it then leaned closer to you placing a kiss on your lips. “i love you too, more than you’d ever know…”

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Comte’s Drama CD: Track Two, An Extraordinarily Elegant Awakening

All right, I gotta preface this one with the content warning that it is so domestic fluff it may induce cardiac arrest. I haven’t recovered and it’s been like two months, so take that as you will. The title is pretty self explanatory on this one, in that it’s basically a morning between Comte and MC, and he brings her breakfast in bed.

I will say this one is less meta only because I spent most of it squealing and/or hiding my face in glee LMAO. I’m weak to the man of my dreams, sue me Additionally most of it is just Comte being so on brand of like: “share my time with MC with others????? In my me????? It’s less likely than you think--” That also includes being the most doting and affectionate husband ever, which is the only kind of energy I want in my life. (It keeps making me think of that post that goes something like “goth husbands who are hopelessly in love with their wives is the only vibe I enjoy in hetero couples.”)

Anywho, enjoy the translation and fangirling beneath the cut! I put the sound effects in brackets, because leaving them out felt criminal to Comte stans everywhere~

Mm…morning already…

My dear lover… (HE SAYS ITOSHII WAAAAAAAH)

[chuckle]...You’re still dreaming

…you look awfully happy and cozy. I wonder what kind of dream you’re having?

[giggle] Since your lips are smiling, it must be a nice dream.

Just looking at you is enough to fill me with delight too…

Besides, I can’t help but think I’m the only one who gets to see this cute sleeping face. Just a few more minutes…

Literally what more can be said than him being the sweetest man alive. The affection????? Wants her all to himself as much as possible????? Just waking up to her beside him is enough to make him overjoyed?????? Anybody got some tissues sobsob I just love him sm 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[kiss sound] To witness this kind of defenseless position is a lover’s privilege alone… (👀)

Since that wasn’t enough to wake you up, I’ll do it again… [kiss sound]

…Oh, [giggle] did you wake up?

Are you awake, princess…? (ohimesama) Good morning~ [kiss sound]

Haha, a good morning kiss was enough to make you blush…you’re so adorable.

With such a sweet greeting, you’ll make me want to do it over and over again.

Okay but I gotta tell y’all. I was re-listening to see if there was anything else I wanted to convey and like. The way his voice is a little sleepy and wispy at the beginning, just super content/relaxed/indulging. Then she wakes up and you can just hear the YAYAYAYAYAYAY SHE’S AWAKE. OKAY, BE CHARMING PERFECT LOVER I WANNA SEE HER BLUSH AAAAAAAAA, and I just. That’s so adorable???? I’m dying????

He’s so playful and giddy????? So many kisses????? Excited for her to wake up????? It’s so bad for my heart???? Truly nobody does romance like them, 11/10 I gleefully kick my feet every time I listen to it. Damn, me too MC, if I woke up to that every morning I would be error 404 shut down blush constantly

Also that first line. For lack of better words to describe my thoughts, BOW CHICKA WOW WOW. But more seriously I do love how much he prizes and respects the vulnerability that’s shared between lovers. This isn’t the first indication of it by far, but something about the deep value he places in intimacy and sincerity shared between them hits different in the best way. I guess, as a pretty serious and sensitive person myself, I can’t help but appreciate the same sentiments reflected in him.

[many, many kisses] Well, if you wanted a deeper kiss, of course I’m happy to oblige…now, what do you want to do? [seductive whisper, Horie-san have mercy]

I’m sorry. Don’t turn away, I won’t tease you anymore (THE WAY HE INSTANTLY BACKTRACKS. WHEN I TELL YOU I WHEEZED AND THEN COOED)

��I’m sorry for being mean. (STOP I’M YELLING THE PLEADING, HONEY YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. I CAN FEEL THE DROOPING DOG EARS)

I don’t mean to make excuses…but I can’t help but think you’re the cutest. (that is the best excuse ever, and in the sexiest pout voice imaginable, you are forgiven)

Now that you’re awake, let’s have breakfast soon…I know, would you like to have breakfast in bed?

[chuckle] Well...because I still want to have you all to myself. [kiss sound, more sultry murmur] It’s okay once in a while, isn’t it?

I can’t get over how fast he’s like masaka when she turns around because she’s overwhelmed by his teasing, it’s so funny to me. She’s not mad, Comte!!! You’re just too powerful!!! Have mercy, she's just a human woman!!!! And not only that, he tells her two seconds later he wants her all to himself. When I say he has me by the throat, figuratively ofc because SOMEBODY keeps his fangs to himself--

If that’s the case…I’ll get breakfast ready then.

You should stay in bed a little longer, I’ll be right back.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Is it alright if I come in?

Sorry for the delay, I’ve brought you breakfast.

A freshly baked baguette, and omelets from Sebastian--

and our favorite morning teas, of course.

It’s a special breakfast for an exceptionally elegant morning.

Okay the way I snickered when he mentioned the baguette, the man really do be like “world cold and sad, baguette warm and soft.” Is this part of why he’s obsessed with MC’s thighs?

Come on over and eat. I’ll feed you, so open wide.

We’ll start with the omelet…it was just finished, so we’ll have to cool it down first.

[He’s blowing on it lmfao]

[laughter] There’s no need to be embarrassed, is there? It’s just me and you here. Come now, don’t be shy…

[chuckle]….That’s a good girl. Yes, aaah…

[laughter]…Ah, I’m sorry. You just look so pleased to eat it, I can’t help but wonder.

You taught me that smiles can even emerge in such everyday moments. (the fondness in his voice I 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

Yes, next time I’ll feed you potage…aaah (OPPORTUNIST Ò//Ó)

…is it good? Haha, [BOYISH LAUGHTER SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP] that’s good. I’m glad you like it.

I can’t believe I get to see your happy face this close first thing in the morning…I think today will be a good day.

I’ve specially planned our day together today, so I hope you enjoy it.

…let’s have a great day together, shall we? [kiss sound]

Honestly MC deserves more credit for not imploding on the spot, I know I’m not strong enough to be faced with all that and not literally become the PANIK meme. I love him more than life itself but that does not mean I’m ready to be doted on--

I have to say though, I really am touched by relationships that are built on little, day-to-day pleasures like this. The way he’s just happy to share mundane things with her, that every day together is a gift. The idea that her smile is enough, that he simply loves to be with her and look after her. Every time Comte manages to far exceed my expectations. (KING OUR EXPECTATIONS WERE ON THE FLOOR AND Y E T--) Well played, monsieur, well played. I concede defeat 👑

[dreamlanddeluxe]

pro-tip from someone who has had stretches pf insomnia like this since high school: (bc your posts makes it sound like a new development and like youre scared, so i want to help. sorry this unsolicited)

but literally?? fake it

fake sleeping. youre going to lie down, close your eyes, shift when youre uncomfortable, but keep your eyes closed and stay laying down. try to keep your mind as blank as possible, thats really hard for me specifically, so i legit will listen to videos or podcasts or music or ocean-waves as i fake-sleep (bonus, i found something that works for me 60, 70% of the time are those ASMR roleplay videos where it'll be like "your boyfriend/girlfriend talks to you while you sleep" or "you get confessed to while youre asleep" or literally anything where i have to "roleplay" being asleep?? weirdly? flips a switch and ill be KOed before the video ends. what the fuck. but thats niche as hell, idk if itll work for you, but it is an "experiment! you never know" encouragement)

and youre going to want to fake-sleep as best as you can, even if youre actually awake the whole 8+ hours, because it legit tricks your brain into thinking youre asleep enough that it gives you those chemicals you need from sleeping that help regenerate your energy and whatnot. like scientists found this works really well, insomniacs who did this instead of their phone or tasks or reading, even if they rarely fell asleep while fake-sleeping, not only recorded feeling a lot better than the control group who was not given this order to sleep like this, but also had more balanced chemical stuff. i like to akin ir to a cell-phone charge. youre not going to get the 100% you would from actually sleeping, but going from a 20% to a 65% is still p huge and very helpful. before i was told this tip, i literally would meditate to recoup; and shockingly meditation releases those same chemicals so like. i was already doing it. just. sitting up instead of laying down lol

also, please do talk to a doctor about getting a sleep study done or something if you have the insurance to afford it. but this is a tip you can do in the meantime in addition to other experimentations thatll help you out. youll still feel exhausted (esp if you cant quiet your brain. my AuDHD mind shuts the fuck when other people speak, so the audio-roleplay and podcast and video-essay people have been god-sends), you won't be that 100% refresh as i already said, but it also wont be AS compounded of an exhaustion which is so helpful when your metaphorical battery is just going down and down and down— to have SOMETHING charge it even a bit or just stall it. i dont want you to think this is a "youll feel back to normal!" cure-all; it truly is the epitome of a "well, thatll help it not get WORSE at any rate, and maybe a bit better" type of rhetoric

for now, i would recommend doing a fake-nap, pick x-amount of hours that feels most comfortable to you (my pick is usually 3 or 4, but my lil sister found she prefers 2 hour long fake-naps and my other lil sister just goes "fuck it, no fake-nap, only fake-sleep; im doing 8+ hours" lmao), see if it at least takes the edge off

i have said a lot of "temper your expectations" type of stuff but i will also say this: at one point, this tip literally saved my life. because i spent 2.5 months running on a total of 4 to 6 hours of legit-sleep per week or per week-and-a-half throughout. and that kinda shit, i belatedly found out, should mean i should be dead. but i was fake-sleeping at least 5 hours a night. and my family's doctor went "uhhhhh thank god i showed your mom that study i guess, omfg". so like. i swear it helps. just. ALSO temper your expectations on how much it helps lol

if this is unsolicited and feels unwarranted, i apologize. im not good at reading tone in text, and just wanted to help. i hope this does help you out, you got this, i believe in you!!

Hey no worries, I appreciate you taking the time to type all this out. Recently (like, within the past one to two years or so) I’ve been more prone to bouts of restlessness and the fake sleeping is actually something I practice and it does help me most of the time. I think right now it’s more of a stress induced sort of thing more than anything that’s led to me having more trouble. Might just be one of those things I gotta wait out to be honest. When I do have a moment where I can’t sleep right it doesn’t last more than a few days normally so I don’t imagine this being different I hope. Maybe seeing a doctor would help but I’ll be honest there’s a probably a few things I should be seeing a doctor about and I just don’t have the money for that lol. But still like I said I appreciate you taking the time to try and help me out and offer some advice that’s very kind of you 🫶

[fablecore]

i was curious what you thought of the live-action One Piece now that season one is out! personally, i have the same compliants as Geoff of Mother's Basement (youtu.be/43K-H_dtQ9g?si=2n0MLLPmdw0vARk7) where, personally, my main compliants were (1) how clean some of these well-worn outfits and set-pieces were and the bigger one was (2) how Garp was altered but i, like Geoff, have my hopes that s2 can fix that by showing that this is the experience (mostly part from Mihawk) that changed Garp into more of the Garp we see in the manga. "a high 8 or low 9 out of 10" indeed. overall, i think its okay as an adaptation! i like Sanji's perviness being toned down, i dont mind most of the shuffling and changing because it is an adaptation with timeslots and seasons unlike a limitless manga with arcs however long it wants. i can understand if you or others dont like the live-action adaptation though! i just like that it was a good gateway to help me turn some of my friends into One Piece fans, less scared of how BIG One Piece is now the live-action has given them a limited taste, towards the manga or the OnePace.net-editted version of the anime (though i do still plan to have them watched some of the anime-only filler that is fun lmao maybe ill throw a sleepover or something, idk, i just like how OnePace fine-tunes the padded-out pacing problem the later One Piece episodes have) thats the main plus of the live-action adaptation to me

but im curious about your thoughts if you have any?? its okay if you never plan to watch it, i know a few other fans like that and i dont mean for my wuestion to be all peer-pressure-y or anything ♡

i've never heard of onepace until now! i'm in the same boat, i've been watching opla with my sister who's kind of interested in starting one piece but is also intimidated by the anime's episode count. maybe we can watch onepace instead. thanks for letting me know ☺️

i've only seen the first two episodes (but don't care at all about spoilers and have seen a lot already). i didn't like the first episode, zoro particularly, but the second was fun! well... it was camp. combined, i would give it the verdict of "aggressively okay" but this isn't a judgement on anyone who liked it. if you did, i'm happy you had a good time. i just have cinema brain.

what i liked so far: helmeppo's >:O face and his puma trainers. the vfx team in charge of luffy's rubberyness. buggy's "surprise, shithead!" nami's den den mushi earpiece/cellphone.

the rest:

zoro’s zombified no energy go girl give us nothing monotone. 😐 <- why did they tell him to make this face in every shot

they cut the scene where luffy gives zoro his swords back and replaced it with helmeppo ass

"a man needs to be strong. but he also needs to be good.” you are going to cut off a pirate rookie's arm and then obliterate his ship and crew later 👍

what is this whole thing about being "morally good" and "one of the good guys" and "a good pirate" it's ICKY

justice for silly winky vain nami. how are they going to do the personality shift into broody serious arlong park nami when she's been broody and serious the whole time

nami spent like 30 minutes unlocking one (1) locked cage. i guess it's because she and zoro needed to talk/get some exposition in, and i'm not going to suggest a better option because i don't want to rewrite half the script. i just found it amusing because normally it's "suspend your disbelief when a character does something amazing for the plot" and not "when a character is noticeably worse at something they really have no business being this bad at. for the plot"

i'm starting to think that zoro and nami lost core personality traits because the writers wanted them to be luffy foils instead of their actual characters

i did hear taz was the best/most charismatic actor out of the straw hats. i'm assuming this is because they let him be sanji instead of making him into a luffy foil since they have enough luffy foils

cameraperson's love affair with low angle closeups and fisheye lens. i don't hate it (it's camp) just pointing it out

i'm literally so serious about mackenyu's insufferable zoro voice. whenever i hear him talk in that joyless southern california kardashian vocal fry my blood pressure shoots through the roof. who made him do that

even though i have issues with the writing, i think objectively opla has done a decent job of pleasing fans. i'm not one of them but i know there's a lot. but on a technical and artistic level... deep sigh palms pressed together listen... i was hoping for spellbinding artistry from the showrunners. beautifully lit scenes, beautiful camerawork, excellent technical chops, lingering shots of luffy's bruised knuckles, the slightly frayed fabric on zoro's swords, a super close-up of a log pose with the crew talking behind the compass needle, their bodies distorted by the glass. fingerprints on kerosene lamps. barnacles on rotting wood. a searingly hot-blue summer sky (super saturated in post) over shells town or wherever. i wanted lush gorgeous rich interesting artistic ideas from the directors and cinematographers. i haven't seen any of that so far, and what i have seen doesn't compel me to watch more. i'm not saying the actual cinematography was bad! just. okay. it was okay.

(but also some of the nighttime/underlit scenes are bad. put a dang key light on your actors 🤺)

concluding thoughts: at the end of the day, if netflix wants to keep throwing millions per episode at tomorrow studios, i'm fine with overlooking mediocre filmmaking and storytelling. i want everyone in the production crew to get their bag. i hope this show runs for another 50 seasons and is powered by union labor forever and ever until the end of time amen

[goddamnwebcomics]

Reply

Yeah. It's basically why I'm thinking of lessening my inputs in some art communities. So many of the people in Discord alone are very touchy when it comes to receiving criticism over webcomics and even art. 

The last server I was on banned me for basically talking about how the owner of a server's art piece would probably improve if they go back and finish it. All I got was a response that amounted to "shut the fuck up! Let the artist do what they want" with the artist/owner pointing up to it in agreement when they were the ones who asked for an opinion. Always treating me like I'm a negative user and a whale (basically meaning a person who consumes a lot of media and treating it like it's a part of the conversation). 

Generally speaking, webcomic servers are just terrible places. Like all of them just run on echo chamber energy. Sure you can say that about social media sites, but forums and especially Discord servers have it worse to me. Like the times I keep getting vague answers on comics that seemingly have no directions and all the artist does it post sarcastically smug emojis over the questions while saying things like "that's an interesting idea" or "Ooo! Maybe. Guess you got to keep reading". No real engagement. Just garbage responses.

Or one time when I tried to ask a simple question about a flaw in a character or even story that I didn't like how it was written, and the author spent time divulging their character's bio and how story writing works without actually engaging with me and answering what I just asked. Acting like I didn't read or understood the story/intentions. You know, before blocking me on almost all accounts. Furaffinity, Twitter, Tumblr, ect. ect. Just a waste of time, especially mine.

That's one of the things you're wrong about, GW dude. It doesn't matter if they're a big shot or not. As long as an artist/person has AN AUDIENCE they're all the same. Just borderline insecure and most times arrogant people who really have a specific audience in mind that will take the good and the bad, not say anything about either, and put users down if they didn't like what they said.

That is unfortunate and irritating to hear and I don't know if it's the internet that caused this or does popularity really go into people's heads. This reminds me of the anon who came here like a month ago to tell me to critique Marvel movies instead of webcomics. I think they might have been a webcomic artist who comes from that exact mindset. These people also need an example of what a negative person is. Go on Twitter, and I am not naming names but certain users who spend their whole timeline shitting on shit. Those people give me the idea they are very hard to be around. Likely nicest thing they can say about something is "looks like shit lmao". I know you've critiqued me as well and I don't get the idea you're inherently a negative person. I do take everything you say to heart and if I say something stupid you're not afraid of saying it to my face. You don't go on twitter or some grassy forum to crop my statement and go "THIS PERSON IS CLUELESS! FUCK HIM!". That's being a dick. I guess the inability to handle criticism is just something that's very common in indie scene, like gaining an audience is the worst possible thing that could happen to you as a creator. I don't think you should give up. Webcomics already have a ruined reputation and it's not the fault of webcomic critics but the webcomic creators for being so shallow, self-centered and pardon my french, fucking delusional.

[summer-lantern]

⭐️Virtual Angel’s diary, leading up to now⭐️

(Mod Note 1: will definitely make this a series as days go by)

WARNINGS: abuse, cursing, slight descriptions of physical abuse, Winter being Winter, lmk if I missed anything!

Man… I guess I should actually fill in my diary in case my actual self gets lost in a Hollow or something.. so let me introduce myself. Hi, hello, Привет!~ 

My name is Snezhana Volkova, or Winter. Just call me ‘Winter’, only people I’m close to can call me Snezhana, and even that’s debatable.

I saw some other Hollow Guides filling out full details of their lives in case humanity gets almost completely wiped out because of the Hollows, so here I am doing it myself, let me start from the beginning…

The date was 7/12/insert the year here idek

I was created in a laboratory as part of a project, I don’t know the name of it.. I don’t know a lot about what happened in the lab. I just know that I was created as a test,  I remember waking up and the first thing I saw was Aster, my.. “brother”. I remember that he said “Hey, your name is Snezhana Volkova. And you’re my sister, okay?”

A long while after that, I grew up fast, like.. really, REAAAALLY fast, in like 5 months, I was 15, and Aster and my “father” were teaching me things, how to fight, how to shoot a gun, teaching me all about these things called “Hollow Sites”.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to know this or not, but I was made from a Hollow. Or— a Hollow Core. The things that power a Hollow Site, where all that Hollow Energy comes from. I guess that’s enough angsty teen backstory stuff now, let’s get to the good stuff!

————————

~Prestige Academy~

Virtual Angel Note; I’m not gonna put dates here cause I don’t even remember, all the days I spent at the Academy just blended together.

I had just turned like… 17? And my “father” sent me to the base of this organization called “Anti-Entropy”, for “training”, as if I haven’t been through enough training at home.. ugh. 

Of course I went anyways cause like.. the flip am I gonna do otherwise? Max out my avatar in games I’ve played a million times? Overdose on banana milk? Lmao, naurrr!~

I regret it. I should have stayed back, said no, run away, anything. 

At this place, the training was flippin’ HORRIFIC. Like I’ve played games like Resident Evil, watched anime like “Higurashi: When they Cry”, and this was worse. They forced up to swallow these pill things, I still don’t know what they did it what they were for, but we- everyone there did it without question, we’d be shot dead if we didn’t. 

They put us in shooting training, and hand to hand combat, technology stuff, as if I didn’t know how to use a Personal Computer or a handheld gun already.. 

And the highlight of it all, it was never safe. They ENCOURAGED shooting and killing your “classmates” in order to proceed up the ranks and eventually graduate. They starved us too, it was kinda scary, always having to be alert, but fr tho, COME AT ME BRO. Sorry the brainrot got to me, anyways, we got any food and our sleeping quarters was like a jail, like seriously if you want us to be productive then maybe give us an actual room?? Tf??

The food I could eat, I had to be really careful, another classmate could have poisoned it or something with hopes of offing me so they would be one point up the leaderboard, so I just didn’t eat, I ate like.. a thing or two that I was 10000% sure was safe. That’s about it. 

They sent us to these.. surgeries? Yeah, surgeries, one person would get certain things implanted or removed, like I remember seeing some string-like thing being removed from a classmate’s brain, maybe a worm?? I dunno, but like.. brother euuugghhhhhhhh.

 While a classmate was operated on, the rest of us watched. I remember people dropping like flies during the procedures, only to be dragged off and never seen or heard from again..

I’ll spare you, and myself because I don’t think I wanna talk about it anymore. 

————

~MEETING KARINA~

I will say that there was this girl, uhh… Karina Siling, she had already graduated from the academy, I guess that what you could call it. She was already like a teacher, I remember the first time I had a solo class with her, whenever I saw her around the academy, like passed by her, I always got such a weird vibe about her, like she was some anime villain or something, maybe it’s just because she’d been through a lot. Or maybe it was my head telling me to stay the hell away from her, either way, we met. Tbh, I was gonna say I was injured or sick or something so I couldn’t go, but I went anyways, and honestly, I’m glad I did!~ 

Karina was actually SHOCKINGLY kind, drastically different from the other instructors. She was in charge of one on one combat training, she was really good at her job, no wonder she already had a callsign, “Black Swan” is what they called her. But she said I could just call her “Karina” when around other people, and “unnie*” when it was just us. When I went to her class injured or malnourished or something, she’d give me a break and when asked about it, she’d tell the higher ups that I had been helping her.

Karina made my time at Prestige Academy much more bearable.. until she just.. disappeared???? Like what the flip Karina where did you go?? If you didn’t wanna teach me anymore you coulda just said so lmaoooo‼️‼️‼️

———-

~graduation~

KABOOM. I FUCKIN’ SURVIVED‼️‼️

Insert several years later, when was 18, I finally graduated from that hellhole, I still didn’t know what happened to Karina, but I didn’t have time to worry about that, I was FREE!-

Until I was assigned to literally LEAVE my HOME UNIVERSE and go to some place called “Yokohama”, in Japan, in a completely different universe! Like what the fuck man, you’re gonna send a 18 year old who only knows a lab and a shitty learning environment to a different universe??? Alone??? No wonder most of the instructors ain’t got families, they were fucking idiots! 

Anyways, since I didn’t have a choice because free will? What’s that? I was sent to Japan. I was supposed to like… scout the area for other LITERAL CHILDREN to bring back to Prestige Academy. 

Jokes on them because I just faked my death, found a video of some poor dude dying in a explosion and used some AI to replace the dude with myself and sent it back to base with a fake “Yo if you’re seeing this I fucking DIED because of a damn unsafe work environment. THIS IS ON YALL FRFR.”

Very convincing, right? AND YAY GOD IS REAL THEY FELL FOR IT‼️‼️

I was officially signed off as dead in Anti-Entropy’s eyes and I moved locations and decided to do whatever the heck I wanted in order to get money and such. I made my own new identity, and hacked government files in order to make myself a “actual person” in Japan, an Immigrant I guess you could say lmaoooo-

My government file had stuff like my name “Winter Volkova”, yes, my real name “Snezhana” is NON-EXISTENT BRO. I don’t want ANYONEEE to call me that name. You better address me as Winter or I’m leaving you on delivered lol

————

~Life in Yokohama~

Aight, so time skip a while, I set up a place for myself in an old warehouse on a part of town no one ever goes to and set up my PC, some RGBY lights and made the warehouse into a slay asf gaming/living place for myself. 

I made money by doing a bunch of jobs for people like making better filing softwares for some “Armed Detective Agency” and straight up faking or destroying government files or tracking down targets for a certain mafia.

One day, I was walking through the city headed back from buying my usual several gallons of banana milk and ramyeon and other foods, when I bumped into someone…

FUCKING KARINA SILING?? WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE?? OMGGG-

It was Karina‼️‼️ Turns out she had faked her death too and left Anti-Entropy, but she wasn’t able to tell me, she had joined some organization called the “World Serpent”, and she wanted me to join her, claiming that I could do whatever I wanted, like I’ve always been doing, but instead of living in a warehouse, I’d get to have my own room in a place where I’d get to come and go as I wanted, whenever I wanted. Seemed like a pretty sweet deal to be honest.. 

It was a pretty sweet deal, but giiiirrrll-

I’ve been living fine on my own, why would I WANT to tie myself down to a single organization? 

Karina said I could have some time to think about it, then I could call her. 

Throughout that week, she kept visiting me and bringing other members of this World Serpent to meet me, a young dude named Yuta Maus Sakuya, he was originally from where I am too, where he was a level 7 Hollow Guide with the callsign “Helix”, and then Karina brought a man named Vega Chase. He was the leader of the Yokohama branch of the World Serpent, and a Hollow Guide himself, he didn’t have a callsign though, he just called himself “Vega”, I guess because no one in their right mind would think a guy with a name like that was ACTUALLY named like that. 

A week after all that, I was like “yk what, YOLO.” And I joined the World Serpent!!! Yay‼️‼️‼️

As promised, I was allowed to come and go whenever I want, I did have to go through Hollow Guide training, but it was fun— and EASY. I got my own callsign, ‘Virtual Angel’ literally so slay, right? 

I guess that’s everything up to now. Damn, looking back, I only have one thing to say… Miss Creator, WHAT THE FLIP MAN?? WHO HURT YOU????

(@pleasepress1forfrontdesk WHABOOM)

[libra-stellium]

Tracking Mars transits!

Notes from Planet in Transit - Robert Hand

Mars opposite Sun (Apr 30 - May 6)

This can be a time when some activity of yours is brought to a triumphal climax

This could be few things: my nails were so long and I was so proud of them (writing this on 6/3 and they're all broken now lmfao), i finally found a spray that worked to get rid of the mold on my bathroom walls, and I successfully made red thai curry chicken on my first try!

This activity may have started during the last transit of Mars conjunct your natal sun (Aug 26 - Sept 3 2023)

That was around the time when I started intentionally making food at home more and it was not going well lol i had chef block! And almost a year later I was making red thai curry chicken HEALED

The last transit of Mars square your natal sun (Jan 3 - Jan 10 2024) you had to face a challenge, if you survived successfully you will now enjoy the fruition of that effort

I don't remember if I faced a challenge lol during that time at work is when they asked me to sit in court with them to time the arguments for 20 days 9-5 and I thought I should quit lmao but nothing related to that happened in May....maybe it was a mental thing! I could stretch it and say that when they asked me that I panicked that I had nothing to wear (and hated my outfits the 3 days i went to court bc they ended up not needing me for 20 days lol) but in May I wore this really cute outfit out!

Mars trine Jupiter (May 9 - May 16)

One of the best transits for any kind of activity, high energy, feeling good, belief that you can do twice as much work

I did a lot! I cooked, I went to zumba, I went to get my friend a parking pass which ended up being like a two day ordeal lmao

Extremely favorable time for any physical activity, muscles have unusually good tone and vigor

Yep! Zumba was great! Also on 5/12 I got this body composition thing done at the gym and it was so funny bc as the guy is explaining to me that most people are not symmetrical he reads my results and was like "oh! I guess you are" lmaooo he doesn't know i'm a libra like of course I would be balanced on this thing lol

You are able to act with a complete picture in mind of what you are doing

I've been working on a 3000 piece puzzle and I got the bright idea to put the part of the puzzle away that I already finished bc looking at the size of it is overwhelming! I made so much progress in a couple days compared to a couple months

You can plan with greater foresight and thereby avoid pitfalls and be regarded as lucky

This! I felt so lucky getting my friend that parking pass bc we saved $55! I wen to go pick up a long term pass for 7 days and it was $150 and the guy in the office told me that if I came back the next day I could get the monthly pass for may instead half off for $95 and I was like BET and came back the next day to get it! It was also less work than the long term pass bc all they needed was my name not even a license plate

Particularly favorable time for any work that can advance your own interests

Spent time making the itinerary for my trip to Amsterdam!

Mars opposite Moon ( May 20 - May 27)

When I read about this transit I was so scared of it lmfao I was like omgggg this is literally my trip what if my bestie and I have a falling out? LMFAO absolutely ridiculous i've known her since 2007 there's no turning back now lol

Emotionally based relationships may be somewhat difficult, women may be especially hard to deal with, this transit creates emotional confrontations forcing you to master aspects of yourself you're not usually aware of, confrontations will be most powerful in your closest emotional relations

When I came back from my trip on 5/26, on my aunt's bday, after she opened the gifts I got her she told me how she shared my pics with my mom i'm NC with..... and I was like wtf??? why would you do that?? I felt so violated!! My moon is in the 8H so honestly it wouldn't be normal if I didn't get hit with some random act of betrayal from family frfr

If you are not self aware your actions will be dictated by irrational desires

I AM self aware! I was so angry at her for doing it but I didn't snap! I took 5 days to think it over before bringing it up again

Period of testing and confrontation which points to relationship tensions

yeah this was really showing how on my mom's side my aunt is bc it was so easy for her to disregard my boundaries just bc she "felt bad" my mom was sad and I honestly think it's bc I'm doing well in life so it looks like I'm the "bad person" to her bc i'm not suffering from going NC *rolls eyes*

Conflicts at this time all serve to creatively release tensions that have been buried within you and to increase your self knowledge

True! Bc what a random way to confront the whole "whose side are you on??" with my aunt willingly telling me that she share my trip pictures with the one person i intentionally removed from my life lol

Mars opposite Mercury (May 22 - May 29)

This overlapped with the Mars opposite moon above! And I avoided bringing it up again until 5/30 bc I knew i had this transit lol the boundary I set with my aunt was that she would no longer be getting pictures of what i'm doing and getting details about them bc I can't trust that she's not going to randomly "feel bad" and share with my mom and she responded "I respect your decision"

Today may be full of disputes and arguments

Not a good day for trying to settle arguments because neither you nor your opponent will budge

Your ego is thoroughly bound up with your opinions

Make sure that there’s a real issue at stake and only if you have a real position then defend it

Excellent day for any kind of mental work as long as you don’t have to work with others

Hasty because energy is high but self discipline should help

Be careful for any situation that has potential for accidents especially while traveling

Mars square Neptune (May 26 - June 2)

Deal with feelings of doubt, discouragement and inadequacy

I was feeling bad at work bc I've been so mentally exhausted I haven't been able to complete my work and I feel so bad about it like they're going to message me and tell me they know I haven't been doing shit lol

Taking the easy way will have you face even more discouraging consequences as a result

This may be a stretch but I was EXTREMELY bloated during this time because I was opting for snacking instead of full meals or just eating at weird hours instead of sticking to a schedule lol that was me taking the easy way and I couldn't sleep some nights

Your physical energies are low at this time, try to relax, body is more subject than usual to minor infections, chills, fever, and excessive physical strain should be avoided

Forgot about this transit and I went to bodypump on 5/29 and I can still feel the soreness in my armpits omg and I could barely walk on 5/30 lol I think the weights I picked were too heavy for this day

You'll have a successful transit if you conserve energies and confront your fears

I was exhausted lol mission failed! But i had fun so lol

[ngihtshade]

Do you think dragons lay a egg every month? I'm honestly curious. I guess it would be the same as lizards, and they do. I wonder if they eat the eggs like how lizards do, wouldn't that be catabolism tho. Smhhhhhhh

An interesting question I've also thought about before and would be glad to give my view on!

Everything is below the cut, realized afterwards that I wrote more than expected lmao

Personally, I don't really think that dragons would lay an egg every month. I imagine they do reproduce similarly to some species of lizards. They would only lay an egg (or more) after they have already bred. It just seems like a pretty massive waste of energy for larger dragons to be laying a pretty large egg every single month. The larger something is, the more energy it needs to survive, and if a dragon the size of, or bigger, than an elephant were to be laying eggs every month with no guarantees they hatch, that's just a waste. This also seems to be true for dinosaurs, with a lot of fossil records indicating they laid eggs that already had an embryo developing inside instead of them being fertilized after being laid. It just seems like it'd be more beneficial for larger creatures to guarantee their energy is spent on live young than lay a bunch of eggs every month and hope a male comes along and fertilizes them.

I feel like I might've worded that weirdly, but basically, I imagine dragons only lay fertilized eggs. The laying of unfertilized eggs is very rare if it does happen and would mean that breeding was unsuccessful, or that something was wrong with the female dragon. Though, I could see smaller species of dragons laying eggs more often, maybe even reproducing through parthenogenesis, but I doubt the typical large dragon would do that. Especially since there doesn't seem to be any evidence of dinosaurs having done that, and dinosaurs are probably the closest comparison to dragons that we have.

Now, for your second question about cannibalism, it seems unlikely if we're assuming that it's our current world with one species of dragon shoved on it. If there were multiple types of dragons, again like dinosaurs, there could be smaller species of dragons that feed on the eggs of larger ones. Otherwise, I doubt a dragon would eat its own or another's eggs for a meal unless it was in some sort of high stress situation. Some lizard mothers will eat their eggs before a predator gets a chance to eat them as to not have their energy spent on the eggs wasted. This could happen with dragons possibly, but again, unlikely if it's just dragons in our current world, predators would be practically nonexistent for large dragons, it'd be more likely with smaller dragons. I should also mention hamsters eating their young if they don't have enough milk to feed them all, dragons might do something similar, but only if dragons were to actually care for their young.

Honestly, so much of this depends on the scenarios we're given, so it's pretty hard to give an answer when there could be many possible factors to consider.

[nonasemporium]

for the character meme: pyrrha or a character of your choice if you've gotten her already! < 3

send me a character [Pyrrha] and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: I love how much she loves disasters. I love her fixation on devotion and self-destruction, that she sees people willing to burn and she's weak to it, that it has trapped her in a cycle of agony but she can't seem to help that she's still drawn to it. That she maybe thinks she deserves to be in that cycle.

least favorite thing about them: Was a cop. L. Hate that for her. A super cop, in fact, and an absolutely hypocrite for it. Queen, please, stop playing FBI and put yourself full-force into putting your energy towards righting the wrongs you participated in very actively, lol.

favorite line: Spent a long minute and muled over many, including the way she talks about Wake/trying to make Wake love her, the way she clearly longs for Gideon as a child, the way she interacts with Nona, even the line where she's called out for playing family, but I settled with: "I've loved you two," she said. "Not well. Not even wholesomely. I don't have it in me. But I've loved you--in a better world I'd be able to say, 'Like you were my own,' but I don't know what that would even mean anymore. You've been my agents... you've been stand-ins for something I haven't had for longer than either of you can understand. Which is why I'm saying--don't do this. Please, don't do this."

brOTP: Tbh, I don't know if Pyrrha knows how to have this, lmao. She's always going to bleed weird boundaries across her relationships. I guess G1deon, honestly, because no matter how their relationship is, no matter if he reciprocates the way she is, it's very important to me that they have a bond that remains powerful despite its nature.

OTP: Together: G1deon, Wake, Pyrrha. I knows that's three, but again I actually don't know if I see Pyrrha being only in a "pair." I think she has a hunger that stretches a bit outside of that limit, though I will say Wake was so clearly so large and consuming in where she fit in there that Pyrrha's eyes were very fixated on her, but that fixation did not stop her from still entangling G1deon into it or focusing on how G1deon was a part of it.

nOTP: Sorry, queen, I don't support you chicken hawking. But at least that's canonical. Put her with Augustine or John and it's on sight, gives me the ick.

random headcanon: I think she has a habit of being drawn to men that figure out they're not men, but that she identified as bisexual even if it keeps happening. I just think it's funny to picture her being attracted to a man and then the man going "actually..."

unpopular opinion: Apparently that she's bisexual. Other unpopular opinion on her is that she in fact waits too long to act, that her actions are out of self-interest, and that her struggles with boundaries are not only destructive to herself but to all the people she has her confusing interactions with. This woman is an absolute wreck, love her.

song i associate with them: 'It Will Come Back' by Hozier.

favorite picture of them: I'm going to leave this unanswered. I've seen some I like, but since a specific one did not jump to mind and I've already spent a minute on this, I think I'm going to leave it before I spend another hour searching, lol.

[kinetic-elaboration]

March 2: Attempts

I've been sitting around for a LONG while trying to think of something to write so I have a worthwhile topic for this post for once but all I did was bounce around 100 days, settle on nothing, get distracted repeatedly, and become even more tired than I was as the hour became even later than it was. So. I guess not.

I am... not thriving, as the kids say. I feel like I've fallen rather suddenly into a rather deep hole, which is sort of scary. I am trying. I forced myself to go outside today and I think that was a good idea. It was warm, and sometimes the sun was behind clouds and not directly in my eyes, and my coffee was really good. I got a pretty good amount of work done, too. I finally outlined Ch1 of the Road Trip properly so now I am basically able to start writing it... there are still aspects of the aesthetic/setting I don't feel confident about, but at least I have a better sense of the scale. The outline has 10 points, very roughly coinciding to scenes; I think it will be long but at least it's more definite and I can see the scope better.

Then I spent some time writing out my ideas for the D/J fic before I start forgetting stuff, and I did some more writing down brainstorm scenes in the evening. Slowly, slowly, slowly making it more real.

I don't know. I have a lot of new fandom energy but, other than the drawer fic, it's not really translating into actual creativity. And I don't really have any...thoughts or emotions or anything about my old fandom projects. I care about them just enough to not want to jettison them, but mostly they feel like they can only be viewed through a pane of glass. Maybe that's not a bad thing. I've already been I this fandom longer than anyone else lmao. I... don't really feel done, and as I said, I'm still stubborn and want to write the things I planned to write. But I'm not currently very excited about any of them, even my favorites. So I feel conflicted about that. But all of it's irrelevant if I can't write. I really hope to force myself to do so tomorrow, preferably on the Jonty fic so I can just finish the dumb thing, even if I do nothing else.

[hareofhrair]

i just played paradox lost and enjoyed it a bunch im interested in ur sburb theories uwu

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! God willing, I WILL get the art for volume 2 done eventually.

I have. A Lot. Of sburb theories. I wouldn't even know where to start lmao. I guess the most pertinent theory I have about Sburb in regards to Paradox Lost specifically, is

It Is Not Kind.

Sburb is the reproductive function of the universe. It is also a generator for creation myths, and what is narratively satisfying does seem to have some sway on its functions, though this may be contingent on the session being influenced by a Muse. But primarily, it is an essentially biological function that operates on the same or similar principles as more mundane reproduction.

There are two main strategies (with infinite variations and exceptions) when it comes to reproduction. The first strategy is to reproduce rarely, or in very small litters, with the parent devoting all their resources towards keeping their few progeny alive long enough to eventually reproduce as well.

The second strategy is to reproduce often or in very large litters, accepting that most of the offspring will die but, by sheer numbers, some will survive long enough to reproduce.

There are distinct advantages and disadvantages to each strategy. Individual progeny has a higher chance of survival with the first, and tends to be stronger and healthier overall. But it's an all-in gamble. Despite best efforts, often the offspring will die anyway. The resources spent on them are wasted, and the parent may not have the chance to try again. Useful mutations may die out simply because the carrier of that gene only had once chance to reproduce and, due to simple bad luck, failed.

Option two is, in some ways, a much safer bet. Individual odds for survival can be quite low, but it's almost guaranteed that some will make it through. The parent is required to spend less resources on the offspring, making it easier for them to try again in the event of failure. And of course, if you're interested in evolution, the scenario with more total births, and thus more chances for mutation, is much more appealing.

What is the goal of Sburb?

It is not to craft a narrative, or develop each player to their highest potential or most fully realized self. It is not to explore the player's traumas and guide them towards mental wellness.

It is to reproduce.

And I think it's fairly clear that it favors the second strategy in regards to reproduction. Not only are millions of sessions initiated across the planet, there are untold trillions of timelines generated by each of those sessions, which Sburb has the capacity to choose between, designating one the Alpha Timeline.

How does it choose? It is not simply the timeline from which all others branch, that's not how anything works. If you are on timeline A and choose between options 1 or 2, those options both branch off of timeline A. You are now on timeline A1 or A2. There is not a point at which one of those timelines becomes timeline A again. The alpha timeline is not a linear path, but rather a series of infinitely branching choices which the game has designated to be optimal.

Sburb is water rolling down hill. It could feasibly go any direction and still reach the bottom, but it will always choose the path of least resistance. What requires the least energy, what has the highest likelihood of success? What relies least on random chance?

There may be infinite timelines where the session is technically successful. Some of those may be more narratively satisfying. Some may be more personally satisfying for the players. But only one has the highest percentage point chance of success. And that is the timeline Sburb chooses to propagate, pruning all the others.

Sburb is not kind.

Heir of Breath was not a kind classpect to give someone who already felt untethered and lonely and directionless.

The Land of Heat and Clockwork was not a kind planet to give to someone traumatized by the sound of metal.

What it was, however, was effective in shaping the players into the kind of people they needed to be to finish the game successfully. Not happy people, not well people, just people who would make the right decisions at the right time to unfold events in the way Sburb designated as the optimal path for success.

That's where everybody goes wrong when they try to teach classpect or planet choice or whatever game construct as a fun personality test.

Sburb does not give you these things because they are a reflection of you, or even because they are what you need to grow as a person.

It gives you what will shape you into the tool it needs to reproduce itself, and everything else is inconsequential.

Sburb is not a consciousness, making deliberate choices. It is not benign or malicious or even really indifferent. It is an organ, no more capable of caring about you than an ovary can care about the sperm that die flinging themselves at an egg only to shatter on its outer barrier. If in dying the sperm weakened that barrier so that another that follows can penetrate, then it was successful. Dead and victorious. The ovary does not care. It simply produces another egg.