#the dudebro thing too. i hate being called a bitch (has nothing to do with gender) and ik that if i said so people would be like “yea ok”

[sunderedazem]

I know i already have a dawntrail reaction post here with a genuine take but i am going to bitch again because i saw some condescending shit and got annoyed. So yeah. This is a vent. If it's not about you then it's not about you, you know? I'm not naming anyone b/c it's an aggregate annoying not a That Person Is Annoying.

Anyway.

Have a certain segment of the people who liked all or most of DT considered that perhaps, some people who disliked parts of dawntrail (especially the latter half) dislike it because they understood and actually just *disagree* with the themes and portrayal of the themes of that portion of the game? I don't dislike it because I didn't get it or because i didn't interpret it correctly (because this shit is subjective too!), I dislike it because it feels like it's spitting on the themes of the previous two expansions to me. Maybe the patch quests will resolve that dislike, i don't know. The Arcadion raids are helping a little, admittedly. If it keeps going like that I might start appreciating things I didn't before.

(Spoilers below here)

BUT- I will never be okay with the fact that all of Living Memory gets deleted, and the people of Alexandria do not have their memories of their lost loved ones restored. To me, that is not moving on, or moving forward, and our characters, the Scions, and the Tuliyollali (?) do not actually have the capability or right to remember these people on behalf of Alexandria when Alexandria's people *still exist*.

The past two expansions have involved uncovering and remembering, or at least acknowledging, a forgotten people, while also protecting the people of today. The Ascians are not an existing society deliberately divesting themselves from their past, they are a nearly-dead people who want the past back. And we choose to remember them, as Emet-selch asks, because we are his last chance of Amaurot not being utterly lost to time. We are literally his last resort. Our win means his people stay dead. He asks us to remember because we're the only people left who even know a little bit about Amaurot.

But Alexandria is a society that is still present! It still has its own culture, its own history, it's own right to keep and change and preserve all of that! But it's people don't appear to know when people die (or if they're killed for their souls, as is implied with Ambrose) or about psychonekrosis. They literally don't remember death. And they all deserve an actual chance to be able to preserve their own culture and history and to remember their own dead! Shutting down Living Memory with NO provisions made for them to be able to preserve the memory of their past *if they so choose to* is nothing like the previous themes of FFXIV and I don't like that. At all.

I am very tired of people acting like a dislike for Dawntrail indicates incomprehension or worse, malice somehow. Or acting like this point of view is completely incomprehensible and means "you're just mad it's not SHB and that's unfair to the devs" or etc. (or the worst- somehow assuming I'm a reddit dudebro who hates Wuk Lamat because I can't handle a leading woman if I ever mention that I thought her character was misused in the latter half of DT.)

I'm really, genuinely happy for you if you loved the latter half of DT. It was visually stunning. The music all slaps. Heritage Found is fucking eerie as shit and the intro to this part of the game with Namikka gave me good heebiejeebies. I can see why people enjoyed it. But to me, the end felt like a series of just...shock value emotional moments. It felt pointless and worse, kind of careless and callous (at least from a Watsonian viewpoint). And I would like that to NOT be called a "red flag lol" thank you. I'm perfectly sure I can hold a normal fucking discussion with people who loved the shit outta Dawntrail about things we mutually enjoyed.

Idk man. This is a vent post, obviously. And I do get that Twitter and Reddit are being Twitter and Reddit. I'm not on them for a few reasons but that nastiness is the main one. But it's also really fucking annoying to keep seeing shit that amounts to "If you dislike or criticize DT at all you're a nasty foul person/stupid idiot who is objectively wrong and you're not worth speaking to ever again." Like dude- can we NOT reactively slide to the polar opposite of the reddit dudebros. Can we just acknowledge that they have viewpoints that are shit *outside* the game that are causing them to have shitty other opinions.

Sighs. Anyway.

[therealtsk]

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

[lochnessies]

I'm pretty tired of certain edelkinnies projecting on her that she's some kind of grand sapphic rep we were all waiting for or something... As a non-edelstan wlw who enjoys pretty much every f/f ship in this game (that doesn't involve the few female characters I don't care for) I get really tired of the argument that not liking her means you hate gay women. Her story and character have nothing to do with telling an LGBT story of any kind, you could literally play as M!Byleth and she comes across as yet another waifu meant to pander to sweaty Reddit dudebros, but some people have decided that she's primarily meant as queer rep above everything else and decided the rest of us should view her that way too. It's already bad enough that "progressive" male fans will call you sexist for not liking their pixel waifu, now I have to deal with people from my own community acting like her being S-supportable by the female avatar erases all her flaws as and I gotta be okay with her bigotry and imperialism because she can be gay (also IntSys is like, SUPER woke and was totally thinking about people like us when creating her, yup!) I should just resort to using the same strawman whenever they talk shit about Rhea, who they don't seem to hold to the same ridiculous standard (and who has substantial f/f subtext in the game that doesn't involve the avatar). "You guys just hate to see a sapphic girlboss winning" will be my mantra from now on.

“certain edelkinnies” i feel like i’m missing out on some drama lmao but oh yeah anon i completely agree.

i can see why some lesbian/bi women would latch onto edelgard since wlw rep is pretty much always a welcome addition but it’s not a shield for her (or rather her stans) to hide behind when someone makes an argument they can’t go against and it’s definitely not cudgel to use against other people to attack their morals just bc they don’t see her in the same holy light u do. also being a villain doesn’t negate her sexuality in any way. she can still be in the wrong and have a crush on byleth of either sex… it’s not two exclusive traits.

personally, i’m not naïve enough to think that intsys made edel bi in an attempt to be more inclusive- it was a marketing ploy 100%. and guess what? i would say the same thing for rhea, dorothea, yuri, lin, etc. does this make me dislike them or view them as less bisexual? of course not but let’s not delude ourselves lol

and i find it kinda telling that i only see this behavior from one section of the fandom. i don’t see yuri or lin stans acting a fool (sometimes doro but not to the same extent). i might joke that rhea is a gay pope and if you hate her ur homophobic but never in a million years would i use that as an actual argument. rhea is bisexual and she still definitely torched those bitches at the end of cf.

[yamchaas]

Welcome back to Jessie Yamchaas drink and episode reviews- Today we will be reviewing- Episode 71 of Dragon ball Super and Green Tea topped with whipped cream cheese concoction I saw in a youtube video late last night that disturbed me, keep reading if either of these intrigue you-

First things first, I had to make my drink to accompany my episode rewatch, here he is in all his glory:

Looks wise? Not the prettiest drink, slightly “shreks swamp after the honeymoon” vibes, but looks don’t matter- it’s about the taste. Taste wise? This shit disgusting, what in the actual fuck- Janice, girl, you said this was nice in your video what is this- The whipped cream cheese sits on top of the bitter tea so your first sip is straight up just this weird cream cheese and then you get bitter tea and its fuckin bad- 0.5/5, won’t make again.

Okay now we have that horror out of the way lets move on to something less terrible, surely- Yamcha playing baseball :)

Okay, first things first- animation. WHERE THE HELL IS YAMCHA’S CAKE? WHERE HE FUCKIN THIGHS AND HIS BUTT AT? BASEBALL TIGHT PANTS ARE WONDERFUL BUT WHERE ALL THE MEAT GONE?? YAMCHA ALWAYS HAD MEAT BRO, HE ALWAYS HAD JUICY THIGHS BRO 😭- Okay but with that out of my system there no other glaring issues with the animation in this episode, sure some of the distant shots are funky but I’m not bothered too greatly by that, it’s actually fairly well done- I especially appreciate the scenes where they focus on Yamcha’s technique and of course the cool wolf shot sings to me so all and all no complaints beyond Yamcha being too small.

As for plot, Champa and Beerus are having a “friendly” match between universes 6 and 7, hijinks ensue- This is filler, there’s not much plot to speak on.

Utterly in love with the line from Yamcha that he left Tien and Chiaotzu behind, super funny and a nice little throwback to the Res F movie- Also, they’re married <3 But I do just have to say it does utterly flummox me that Tien is not included in this episode, there’s genuinely no reason for him not to be here and I can’t help but to imagine how fun the episode could have been if Tien was on the universe 6 team to even out the numbers- They never gave us the Yamcha/Tien rematch at the tournament so it could have been a fun way of giving us some kind of rematch and banter all these years later, but sadly they just didn’t take the opportunity- Also no Tien Baseball Tight pants 😭😭 Disappointing.

Whis and Vados look nice :) Vegeta being obsessed with topping Goku once more, nothing new here. Gohan’s a sweety, also nothing new here.

Now some positives: Yamcha being so encouraging and a good team leader is very sweet to see, love that actually. I also love that they made these amazing warriors not very good at something that isn’t fighting, like it’s comical but it’s also nice in a way? Like yes, Goku is unbelievable in so many ways but he struggles to learn baseball- Its nice to be reminded these characters have flaws and struggle in different aspects of life, just like regular people do too- Really like that.

Love them incorporating Yamcha’s use of spirit control into his baseball skills, it’s just fun and cool, no complaints from me at all.

Piccolo being good at baseball is cute and I like it.

Now on to everything else-

This episode truly hurts my feelings, it’s so unnecessarily mean for no reason and I know people might say “but doesn’t he technically win? and wasn’t he better than everyone?” Those are the only scraps he gets- Literally Yamcha speaks in a total of 10 super episodes and this is the only episode that we could even vaguely call a Yamcha episode and it’s just a joke on him 90% of the time-

18 questioning if Yamcha should be captain and being nasty about his skills truly fucks me off- Like he’s been the best baseball player on earth for 20+ years, the show acts like Yamcha is completely useless and it just grates on me- Yamcha trained with King Kai, he can hold his own against the ginyu force- He’s not weak. He’s just plainly not!! Sure he’s not Goku level, or even Piccolo, but that’s okay, because he is human!! He’s still an amazing martial artist and baseball player and he’s also a good friend with a kind heart. The show playing into the useless pathetic Yamcha memes is cheap. It’s just cheap.

As for the he weird, kinda implied Bulma/Yamcha stuff in this ep HATE HATE MALICE BITE KILL- Actually fuck off. The blush pisses me off so bad-  Like Yamcha has never acted hung up on Bulma, he was a bit annoyed when Trunks was a tiny baby, which was fair! But other than that he just treated her like a regular friend, no unrequited love. Also I’m pretty sure this is the nicest Bulma has ever been to Yamcha... Ever. In like the entire series as a whole. So... That’s telling.

Also supers insistence that Yamcha’s this cocky, smarmy guy will never cease pissing me off! The Yamcha we leave in Dragon Ball Z has been remarkably chill and humble for years, so why now is he suddenly a dickhead again? This is more prevalent in other episodes but does feature here too. Bad writing- Bad characterization. Bad.

And it ends on the dead fucking Yamcha meme pose- Because of course it does. Because it’s cheap and it’s nasty and that’s all there is to it. They took a character that used to be a main character. A loved character. And they played into the dudebro, abridged series, meme-ifcation to get cheap laughs rather than give this character the dues he deserves. They literally couldn’t even give him one (1) episode. This is actually worse than the fucked cream cheese green tea drink- By a large margin.

NOTABLE, QUOTABLE:

“C’mon let’s see some pep in your step!”

“Wow- It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Yamcha this fired up!” 😭😭 Dude seeing Yamcha confident and excited and Goku being so happy makea me 😭😭

“Let the Yamcha show you what it’s like to dominate on the mound-” I’ll let The Yamcha dominate on my moun- *Comically large hook snatches me by the neck, pulling me and my computer chair off stage*

“The wolf fang pitching fist ball-” Tien, I need you to kiss this man on his dumb mouth, please.

“Yeah for a washed up fighter that’s not bad.” 18 I GOT MAD LOVE FOR YOU BUT IMMA THROW HANDS WITH YOU BITCH IF YOU KEEP THIS UP- “But Jess she’s a powerful android and you’re some chick-” Yeah but don’t you know the power of love is the strongest force in the world? Also I grew up in the country and have reserved farm strength so 😤

“It’s an honour to have this of bat” Cabba I dont know what the fuck this means but I’m fuckin happy to see you mate- You a good boy!! “Watch closely master, I’m going to hit this and prove I’m worthy of your teaching-’ stupid lil bitch ass vegtea don’t deserve this sweety 😤

“What are you even doing here, I’m totally out of my league, at this rate I’d be lucky to walk off the field alive... C’mon Yamcha, keep your head in the game, we are going to win this.” TIEN IF YOU DONT GENTLY AND SWEETLY BRUSH THIS MANS CHOPPY MULLET FROM HIS FACE AND SWEETLY KISS HIS LIPS ON GOD-

Winning shot of the epsiode:

Thanks for tuning in to my review of drink and episode uhhhhhh see you again uhhhhhhh if someone gives me a drink and a episode to watch :)

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 5

As usual I'm going to put all my reactions and live-blogging in this one post to avoid spamming.

1962, Cape Canaveral

So Pogo is from Congo?

Wait, is that Grace? is Grace some sort of biologist or scientist?

Is Pogo supposed to be one of the chimps for the space program?

I love this song. Oh look, there's Reggie!

Oh, that nod between Reggie and Grace... What are they up to?

Yep, definitely the space program.

Little astronaut Pogo... Wait, what's happening?

Who's the shady guy in the sunglasses behind Reggie?

Aww, poor Pogo...

SO THAT'S WHERE THE SERUM USED ON LUTHER CAME FROM! I figured but it's still interesting to see the origin.

Oh, there's the ancient Greek! Did Reggie read to the kids like this too? I doubt it but one can hope.

So Reggie and Grace basically treated Pogo like their child... And Reggie was actually a decent parent... ? Dude, you couldn't do that for your actual kids?!

Wait, does this make Pogo the seven's big brother? 😆

And there's the Magnificent 12. Oh, Pogo's drawing is so cute.

Five really is onto Lila... and he's right!

Diego onto Lila as well!

Hungover Klaus 😅 and Ben asking what we all want to know but it comes from a place of love and concern. Still sassy though.

Why won't Klaus just tell Allison that he is talking to Ben? Also, cowboy? Is that a comic reference? Or just a Texas reference?

Oh, I love Ben and Klaus banter. XD

Klaus does have a point, Allison.

*Allison throws the flask away* Ben: "attagirl!" Allison: "i have a blender and some much better booze" *cue Ben sulking*

"I love you so much!" Awwww, Klaus-Allison bonding! ❤️❤️❤️ this show is really giving me everything I want, huh?

Sissy and Vanya in bed together 👀😏 that's hot.

So she brought her coffee and then took the coffee away? XD

Is Vanya offering to take Sissy to the future? 👀

Oh no, Carl!

They have a point, Five. Everything starts taking apart at soon as you arrive. Repeatedly. I actually pointed this out yesterday.

You're burning the eggs, Luther.

"That boy stinks" poor Luther 🤣

Where exactly was Luther going? Chicago? Detroit?

Wait, is that the academy pre-academy? Wait, so it's not in Texas??? Then what about Argyle? What the hell? I'm so confused now. 😵

Luther, you need a bath.

Reggie in a party xD that must be an odd sight for Luther.

"The world's never going to end in such a cliché. Believe me. I know how endings feel" -what does it mean???? Does it mean he knows how the world ends? Or does it mean politically as a member of the 12? Is it a double entendre? Foreshadowing? Does he have some sort of prescient power?

Still want to know who the shady guy in the shades is.

"No, you're not" "no, you're not" "no, i didn't" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"I have a deep dislike of children" -yeah, we been knew. 😒😒😒

"your grotesque simian proportions"??? Those are entirely your fault, Reginald! 😠

"But...i took a bus" - oh, honey... Luther, you adorable, naive, sweet, innocent, awkward little dork... Let me hug you, i don't care if you stink! 😢

Man, Reginald is still such an asshole. (I'm glad for that though, I was afraid this season would try to play the 'he wasn't really so bad, just misunderstood' card and that would piss me off, you can show him actually caring for the children but no excusing goddamn child abusers in this house!)

"At least he didn't shank my ass" "no, bro, he shanked your heart" -awww, dudebro affection. Diego does have a sensitive side!

I didn't realize i needed Luther-Diego bonding this badly but i do. I really, really, really do.

"It's time to get the umbrella academy back together." "hell yeah, family meeting." -since when is Diego so happy to get the family together? 😆

But hell yeah, let's get the family back together!!!

"you two still a thing? Do we need to talk?" (Diego's face though 🤣) "no, she's married." "Whoa, dude. That's rough."

Diego is the new Zuko, it all lines up!

"I can handle it" he nervous chuckles while stress eating in a stolen robe, after ruining his own life and getting in trouble with the mob and getting high.

"can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" - ouch 🤣

I'm loving the boys bonding.

Yikes, Sissy looks so uncomfortable with Carl...

"Harlan doesn't care" -oh, he does, he reeeeally does, you just can't read the signs, you clueless dumbass.

Oh, the powers... Oh, Harlan initiating touch with Vanya! Boy is more perceptive than they think.

Why does Sissy look so scared?

Sissy's reactions to Carl have been suspicious from the start. She's given a lot of red flags (the anxiety, the body language, the hoarding money in secret, the reluctance to speak up, the desperation to keep Vanya near her at all times, etc) and I've wondered if he's been abusive but he seems more pathetic than purposely malicious, he even showed vulnerability and admited to loving her and fearing that she doesn't feel the same, so I was starting to think Sissy's fear and paranoia had more to do with a fear of Carl leaving her (and thus taking away the only income and leaving her and Harlan with nothing).

However, I'm rethinking things and I'm starting to suspect abuse again (at least psychological, if not physical)... I think the only reason we don't see it yet is because Vanya is there and Carl won't act out on front of a witness.

I could totally be wrong though, I could be seeing signs that aren't there because of my own issues. We'll see.

Is... Is Handler actually a good mother?

Nevermind, she's gaslighting.

But she cares enough to give first aid and admit she lied so... Definitely a better parent than Reginald at least. I actually want her to be a decent parent, I'm tired of the narrative where villains all have to be abusive parents, villains can love too and that makes the story so much more complex and dramatic when people finally have to choose sides.

Felt, Diego's knife... what is she up to?

Sandpaper, steel wool, round metal parts, skewers, spray lubricant, and something cylindrical with the name of a plumbing service? Is she making pneumatic canisters? The ones the Commission uses to send messages?

Also, what's with Commission training and using plumber stuff? Five also used a plumbing company's van in season 1.

Elliot really likes Jell-O, huh? Very 50s housewife of him.

"how are feeling?" "Pretty shitty, to be honest" "Where would you say you are on a scale from one to ending all life on this planet?" 🤣🤣🤣 They are never going to let her live this down, are they?

I need more Vanya-Diego bonding. ❤️

Diego accepted Vanya's apology???😲 AWWWWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Diego about to ask girl advice from his sister? So cute, why did they interrupt, I wanted to see that! 🥰

I miss Diego's nervous stutter though.

"you don't speak French" -doesn't he? If Allison can read seven languages, logically so can all the others, right? And Klaus is constantly using French and German, how are you telling me he doesn't know French? 😆

"did we all get sexier?" -pretty much and you're not done yet.

Aww, awkward Vanya-Allison hug... Let them bond! 💖💖💖

Klaus and Diego hugging!!! And Diego calling him out on being drunk like the overprotective brother he is 💖💖💖

Klaus hugging the girls! 💖💖💖

So much love. So much growth since all the bitterness from season 1. I NEED MORE OF THIS, DAMN IT!

Who knew it took Vanya snapping and killing everyone for this family to finally bond?

OH COME ON, KLAUS! Just tell them poor Ben is there, that's so mean.

Ah! Allison and Diego with pure sibling banter. 💖

What is with the Handler family and red shoes?

Handler's style changed a bit, went from retro femme fatale on s1 to matronly debutante in s2... Interesting.

Don't hurt the kitty, you bitch! 😡

The Swedes have become crazy cat people. I'm starting to love these weirdos.

Is that their mama?

Pneumatic tube! CALLED IT!

Ah, I see. That's why she wanted Diego's knife. The Swedes are getting set up.

"oh my God, again?" ... "all of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five, I told them we had until 2019!" -that's why you're the last one, Klaus, your priorities.

"is it Vanya?" "Klaus!" "What? It's usually Vanya." - one time. you end the world ONE TIME and nobody ever let's you live it down.

"find dad" "kill dad" -well, Diego learned from Five *shrugs*

"has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" -literally everyone except you, Vanya.

( well, unless saving Harlan with your magic lights messed up the timeline...)

Yup, here they go calling each other out. Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

"THANK you" - I love Ben 💙

Diego, you idiot, saving Kennedy is what wrecks everything! Stop being stubborn.

Aww, traumatized Five... Please just listen to him, he just wants to save you all because he loves you 😢

Five deserves more love from the family. PLEASE.

Wow, Luther is reeeeally bitter about daddy, huh? What is Lila doing?

"I've missed you all... So much" BEN! 😭😭😭😭😭

Ok, now I'm crying.

Klaus, let your brother talk to the rest of the damn family, he misses them! 😭😭😭😭

Yay, more Luther-Diego bonding!

"since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance" -I'm so glad he owns up to this, it's very important but he needs to get over his self-hate and gain some confidence again.

Diego, stop acting like you don't have daddy issues, you are riddled with them.

Diego's hero complex again... Which comes from the daddy issues. Luther is right.

"you are so goddamn big that sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are." 🤣🤣🤣 He's absolutely right!

Brotherly bonding ftw!

Oh, they got daddy's attention!

AHAHAH! Allison bitching and rambling while doing Klaus's hair, Vanya miming shooting the bottles ("pew pew" 🤣). I'm sorry but this whole scene is adorable as fuck.

Girl's day!

"wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" 🤣🤣🤣 Klaus asking the real important questions here!

Vanya confused by the Luther/Allison crush 🤣 "aren't we all related?"' -yes, honey, that's why it's weird.

"if you have to use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" -THANK YOU, KLAUS!

Klaus's ENTIRE speech about their love lives is the most perfect thing EVER 🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌💯💯💯

Really alarmed Vanya finding out she dated a serial killer: "what?!" / Allison, whispering casually: "Later." 🤣

"the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin." 😂😂😂😂😂 The best part is- HE'S NOT WRONG

Vanya's weirded out face is priceless 👌👌👌

"the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love is how to screw it up" "cheers!" 💯👏👏👏

These babies really need a hug. Let me hug them!

"how do you guys deal with this?" -look at them Vanya, they day drink.

"well, I get reeeeally high, Allison... Allison... Lies to herself. And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... Blow shit up." -Klaus really is serving up all the wisdom in this little outing, isn't he? Maybe being a cult leader actually did him some good? Or maybe it's just that his family is FINALLY listening to him.

"yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore" 😂 -ah! Is Vanya graduating out of the awkward dork sibling category and into the sassy queen one?

Omg, the drunk decisions...

"I just hate group backups, that's why I stopped dating twins" 😆😆😆😆

"this family is amazing" - DAMN RIGHT, VANYA! ❤️🧡💛💚💚💙💜

Awww, the HUG! The DANCING! MY BABIES! Fav scene, fav scene!

I want to adopt this family so bad.

And here's the Swedes being set up...

There goes baby Swede! I kinda feel bad for them.

Uh oh, now they want revenge of poor Diego.

Gotta hand it to Handler, she played this one very well. Parallels Five tricking Hazel and Cha-Cha into fighting each other in season 1. Very cool.

BAD GUY! I like this version better than the original, great song and fits Lila perfectly.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!! We all knew Five had moves but THESE MOVES!!!!!! 😲

How did Lila do that? Is it with Handler's time stopping thing? I always wondered how she did that too.

Holy shiiiiiiiiit. This whole fight was FANTASTIC! 😲

Oh Vanya... 😢

Oh Sissy... 😩

Sissy has been so desperate to keep Vanya tied to her but the moment Vanya asks her to make the slightest sacrifice for their relationship Sissy balks and pulls away... Not a balanced relationship at all.

I understand Sissy's fear, it's not selfishness, it's literal fear of change, but it's still sad and it's going to wreck them.

Oh, so this is where the swedish cover of "Hello" comes in... Very fitting.

Viking funeral, huh?

Ok, I never thought I'd have feels for the Swedes but I do. 😢

Luther eating AGAIN. But hey, he and Diego didn't the whole day together! Why can't we see that too? I need more brother time between these two.

Oh Klaus, is so uncomfortable but he can't stand disappointing the cultists, can he?

Still shocks me how all those people just invaded his house while he was away and thought that was perfectly acceptable and cool, it shows they really don't respect him as a person, he's just an object to make them feel better and give them purpose... It's terrifying and really sad when you think about it.

"sit your ass down." -you go, Allison! Tell him everything!

This episode gave me SO MANY FEELINGS! It might read like (extremely good) fanfiction but it's exactly what we all needed and it might be my favorite episode so far.

[klarolinedrabbles]

Opinion on TROS?? Imo it wasn’t a bad movie but not good enough to be the closing of the saga, a lot of things didn’t make sense. And I have to say I wasn’t a Reylo shipper but damn I felt a lot on their last scene, props to Adam and Daisy

ALL MY FEELS UNDER THE CUT, BECAUSE SPOILERS, IF TUMBLR MOBILE DOESN’T CATCH THIS, BEEP BEEP, SPOILERS, BEWARE, SCROLL FAST. 

Yeah, I’m not thrilled with this movie, lmfsnkjfnskjs. Like I’m not GoT S8 pissed at it, but I’m definitely not happy. It was better than I went in thinking it would be given everything I read. It was a solid singular film, I think. But very weak as an installment of a saga. The amount of things that they just didn’t do, and someone asked me about it when I had reblogged one of those unpopular opinion things. My answer when I got SW was that I had doubts they’d be able to close it out properly, and sure enough, here we are.

Like I know TLJ was Rian, and TROS was JJ but I think they were both a mess for entirely different reasons. I am very…confused with the choices for this movie. I have never been particularly fond of Kylo Ren, he killed one of my faves in TFA so how could I be, but from a story stand-point, if it’s sold to me properly, I can get on board with a solid, not excuse, but narrative justification. The same goes for him having “destroyed Luke’s temple and killed all the students” we found out in the comic that he didn’t, why the movie didn’t bother including that fact, is beyond me. 

What we did find out though, is that it’s been Palpatine the entire time, in Ben’s head. That’s the darkness Luke sensed when he almost killed him, it’s been every dark influence he thinks he’s heard. Vader included, most likely. And so the fact that Anakin never speaks to him…your honor, issa joke. As much as I screamed when I heard him speak to Rey, boi you got some nerve never appearing to your grandson, who was victim to the same man that turned you. And who repeatedly called out to your lesser half for guidance. So Anakin not showing up to guide him towards the light, I—. LIKE IS JJ SERIOUS, WHAT TYPE OF CLOWNERY. Anakin’s entire bloodline was wiped out by this dusty ass man, started with him, and he was still goin two generations later, AND SUCCEEDS. THE SKYWALKERS ARE GONE. His descendant taking that name, yeaaaah, god called and he said dis ain’t it. I’m sorry, pero issa no from me. 

Ben not getting a single scene about his mom, uhhhh????? That scene with Poe and Leia’s body, it should’ve been with Ben, send the mf tweet. He should’ve just shown up, laid down his weapon, and say his piece to his mother, and then go to Exogol. Also as Ben Solo, he doesn’t fucking speak???? He has his lines in the vision of his father, and then he literally doesn’t speak again for the rest of the movie, the sloppiness, the disjointedness, I hate it. I have never shipped Reylo, if you follow me, you know this. But UHHHH, idk if it was the score in the final scene pero I felt something up in dis bitch, and you know what, lemme hop on this train real quick, I said what I said. Send me your fic recs, ya’ll. They had the best scenes of the movie, tbh. 

Finn and Rose being like Buddies™ now, wtfwtfwtf. And this shit they pulled with Finn having to tell Rey something the entire movie, which can really only be one thing, only for him to never get to say it???? Like why so cavalierly fuck with a poc lead’s emotions like that, as though it’s a game??? The audacity, and Rose being relegated to like Extra #3 is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. To so blatantly cave to whining of pressed fanboys and barely put her in the movie, transparent as fuck and idk who JJ think’s he’s fooling but it ain’t me. Poe’s random ass old LI with this random past that’s relevant to the plot in zero way, like ya’ll did that to shut up the finn/poe shippers, do we look stupid to you. If ya’ll big mouse morons don’t piss tf off this instant, so help me god. 

Uhhh, Poe and Rey like hating each other??? What in the fuck. What was the reason, WHAAAAAAT WAS THE REASON. THAT SHIT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE. 

I have been vehemently against the dudebros who have called Rey a mary sue since let’s see, since Daisy got casted. And I will never, ever validate those idiocies, but lemme say something. Sometimes it’s just one too many things. And this was one of those times. To present Rey and Ben as this dyad in the force, this ‘when together they’re extremely powerful’ type of thing, only for everything in the skywalker lane to go to one half of that duo, and for the actual skywalker to get absolutely nothing, make it make sense. Like sorry, if I’m a bit peeved that the last skywalker had just about zero hand in defeating a man who devoted his life to running his family into the ground. I could’ve accepted his death no problem, if it didn’t feel like there was two billion things that should’ve happened before it, which is how it feels to me. 

So all in all, I am underwhelmed x200. How tf you give Han and Leia a kid and then do almost nothing with that kid, blows my mind. WHEN HE TAKES OUT THE KNIGHTS OF REN, WHOOOOOOOO-WHEEEEEE, I WAS SHOOK. Also when he gets to Exegol and takes someone out with a blaster without even looking like his dad, hand me a tissue pls. 

“Dad…”

“I know.” 

OOOOOOF, THAT SHIT HURTED. 

So to sum it up, I uhhh have a lot more Ben feelings than I did in TFA and TLJ combined??? I couldn’t wait for him to die, now he did, and I’m not Happy about it. 

Also they flopped at the ending because has Rey self-isolated herself on Tatooine, or was she just there to bury the lightsabers/forge her new one. Like ya’ll fucked tf up there, the ending to such a legendary saga should be a lot clearer than that. 

[didon]

My two cents on this whole Taylor Swift drama

I normally only reserve my rants for tv shows, but I’ve seen enough crap in the last day that I kinda want to add a little to it.

First of all, I’m not a swiftie or whatever her die hard fans call themselves. Do I like some of her music sure, but there are other songs that make me cringe the same way there are things that happened with her that made me dislike her and others where I’m now looking back at and thinking that it was just me wanting to fit in and that it was ‘’cool’’ to hate on her. Cause I think that there really is a movement where you have to hate on successful women because they are not perfect until the point where they are no longer human beings but actual mythological creatures that we must revere or die otherwise (Beyonce and the Bee Hive come to mind). Has Taylor always been right? Nope. It’s that simple, she has done some not so great things and instead of trying to understand them, I just went with the motion of hating her because I thought it made me special (it did not).

Secondly, to the people saying that he didn’t bully her, that it was his client, remind me his job again? Dudebro is a manager. His job is literally to MANAGE people, to make sure that the celebrities he has under his care not only receive the best but are also perceived as great. Seems like him allowing Bieber to post a dig at a woman for no reason and then not issue an apology right after was a bad managing decision because the only thing it did is make him and his clients seem like pissy little boys that can’t take people not agreeing with him. Him allowing Kanye (because tell me how he could not have vetoed that whole video that I’ll talk about later) to show someone that he knew Kanye had a troubled relationship with naked WITHOUT that person permission is a bad management decision. Especially since it could have led to more than one lawsuits toward his client. I feel like a manager normally tries to avoid his clients getting sued. So either he allowed her to be bullied by his clients and probably had his own hand in it or he’s shitty as his job and should not be allowed to manage anybody. Because it has to be one or the other, there is no third options where he didn’t advise his clients not to do bad things and had no knowledge of it. If anything, he could have at the very least if that was the case wrote his own appology for being in Bieber instagram. No instead he chose to stay silent, giving his approval toward it and to keep people that were attacking a female celebrity for pissy reasons as clients.

Thirdly, concerning the whole Bieber thing. Dude has to stop talking. He is not someone that can truly speak having grown up being influenced by Dudebro. Didn’t he sign Bieber when he was still a minor and everything? And yet he allowed him to make a fool of himself more than once, to be agressive toward more than one person knowing that it could cost sales. Dudebro was both a bad manager and a bad friend toward Bieber. Bieber who seems to act as if a lot of his fanbase isn’t young influencable girls that he is pushing toward not only bad decisions like bullying someone else because the friend of a friend doesn’t like them and also supporting people that are homophobic. Because let’s remember that for a long time (and I think still now but I’m not 100% sure), Bieber was friend with this pastor who was known for being homophobic. You can’t call someone coming at your friend a bully, but then have one of your close friend be someone telling others that something they have no choice in makes them bad, evil in some cases and that the one person that is supposed to love them (I’m talking about God here for the Catholics) hates them. How many queer people are we going to lose to suicide because they are constantly told by some biggots that God hate them, that they are going against everything that is good, that they shouldn’t be allowed near children, etc.? And no saying that just because you attend his congregation and hang out with him doesn’t mean you don’t agree with him. This isn’t the same as someone prefering strawberry milk over chocolate milk, this is someone spewing hate to who not only are you giving a platform by being near them (because yes it does), but are listening to. How many young teens are going to see that guy and go ‘’hey Bieber follow him so maybe he’s right’’? When you chose to be a celebrity, yes it means that you lose part of your privacy, but it also means that you should be obligated to lend your voice to those who aren’t listened to. Taylor Swift did that with her letter against homophobia, with her video and her support of queer artists. Bieber does that by giving a biggot relevance and then getting mad when his ‘’friends’’ are called out on their bad behaviours.

Fourtly, the whole Kardashian/Kanye thing. I can’t believe it’s 2019 and it has to be addressed but it is NEVER okay to showcase somebody else’s naked body even if it’s for ‘’Art’’ without their permission. His video was not only revenge porn, it’s an attack on her. Revenge porn is mostly defined as sharing private pictures of someone. This isn’t the case. She didn’t send his a naked wax art of her body. As far as I’m concerned, this is straight up violating her privacy and her body. And not only hers but the one of everybody else included in that video. Sure he probably has the signed statement from his wife saying it was okay, but does he has the one from every single other person? Also stating where their wax double would be placed? Because I’m pretty sure that Rihanna wouldn’t have said yes to her body being exploited by a man and placed next to someone who’s biggest relevance is the fact that he ABUSED her. It’d be the same as a celebrity asking fans to stop drawing porn of them and then getting backlash from their fans because they believe that they own that celebrity body. Your body is your own and no egomaniac should be allowed to have a naked wax statue made of it and put it in his video. Speaking of videos, Kim’s one is void. Not only is it clear that the video has been edited, but it was ILLEGAL!! A court would not take it as proof of anything just based on this alone. This is the same as a cop breaking and entering to get proof to arrest someone because a warrant takes too long and he’s sleeping with the other suspect. I don’t care if she actually agreed to one line and not the other or whatever. The whole video is void and should never be mentionned because it’s something illegal that again violated someone’s privacy which a celebrity should really know about. Especially Kim. The whole claim that Kanye made Taylor famous is ridiculous too. Bitch didn’t make her famous, he made an ass of himself. She became famous with her own hard work and good strategy (something her manager might have a hand into). What he did at that award show was just stealing a moment from a woman because he was prissy he didn’t get his way. There’s a reason why Beyonce gave the stage to Taylor and that everybody got mad at him. He took a young woman achievement and try to ruin it because it wasn’t what he wanted. That shows clear immaturity and if anything it made him more famous that it made her. She wasn’t known as Kanye’s victim, she was known as a singer while he was known as the guy that made an ass of himself and ruined a 20 years old big moment. I don’t care who deserved the award more or if he was right, nobody else does it and for a good reason. I may not have always have agreed with award winners, but you haven’t seen anybody stopping Matthew McConaughey speach saying sorry to interrupt but Chiwetel Ejiofor had one of the best performance ever. It’s almost like his manager should have stopped him from making a fool of himself.

Fiftly, just a little mention for Demi Lovato that came to Dudebro defence. Girl is coming out of a very emotional situation, is probably not 100% okay yet so don’t send her hate. Plus, she has known him about two months and he makes money off her so he has probably not been a dick to her. Her entire defence may even have his hand in it since people around her may be employed by his company. I almost killed myself over a year ago and I know that I’m still very emotional and that people can still have a big influence on me depending on how I’m feeling. I can’t imagine being around people that may not have your best interest 24h/7. On her claim that he is not homophobic because he signed her though, I will say that she can’t refute somebody’s experience with the man simply based on her own especially since she’s a famous artist that probably brings him a lot of money. Plus, while she’s a queer woman that consider herself fluid (and good for her tbh), it doesn’t mean that she has the same experience as a gay person. She has (mostly) dated men in the recent years and biphobic people will use it as an excuse to say that while she is ‘’fluid’’ she’s mostly straight (which is bull, but that might be how they see her in her mind). She can’t come at a gay man and say that because she’s also queer, the man cannot be a bigot toward anybody in the queer community. Heck, queer people in the queer community are bigots toward other members. How often do we hear transphobia or biphobia coming from queer people? The answer is too often. Especially black queer people who are often erased from their own history (*cough* stonewall and camp *cough*)! My own father was super friendly toward a trans tennant he had, calling her by her name and the right pronouns like it was nothing, only using her deadname on the official papers since it wasn’t officially changed, but to me he told me that if I came out as trans he would kick me out because I am his daughter not his son. If you asked that woman than yeah my dad is a great ally, but she wouldn’t know how he interacts with other queer people including his own daughter.

Finally, on the whole master thing. Shut up. She wrote the songs so I don’t care who owns the right right now or if they gave her a chance to ‘’buy’’ them back. This is her own work. When Devianart started selling artists art without their consent because they ‘’owned’’ it, how many people did I see on this website calling for a boycott? How many people were pissed and swore that it was horrible and that no artist should ever lose the right to their own art? Well, it’s exactly the same for her. Yes even for those songs of hers I hate. She put her time, her effort in them and so they should be hers. The idea that some white dudebro has right over them is ridiculous. The fact that he will own her feelings, a part of her soul should be upsetting especially since one of his artist already violated her body by showing it naked without her consent. I would be furious if I was raped and a friend of my rapist got the right to some of my writing. Heck, I would probably be a lot more agressive than she was in that post. The fact that she managed to stay polite and calm is a miracle if you ask me. Especially since he will be making money of a video that his friend and client didn’t even deem good enough to win an award!! Cause let’s remember that as cringy as it might be to look back at how we were all obsessed with some of her music video (god knows I was even though I would have never admitted it at the time), a man representing someone who put her down for one of them is going to make money off them. 

This is in no way acceptable and I encourage people to raise their voices against this and to keep those boys (because they are not men let’s be honest) accountable for their actions. Cause when Kesha needed help getting away from her rapist, Taylor Swift gave it to her and no matter how famous you are, you deserve to have people stand up for you. I’m not saying send hate, but keep holding men accountable for their shitty behaviours and for the creepy thing they say about women. We are not their objects, they do not own us in any way and we need to unite to stop them disrespecting us!! No matter your feeling on Taylor Swift and her music or her previous actions, this is something hateful that’s happening to her and women need to stand up and support each other! We own it to each other!!

[nightcoremoon]

Callout post: me

lying, manipulative, hold grudges, constantly paranoid, would absolutely 100% check out a teenager if nobody was looking because "it's a harmless crime", liar, cycle through idealization and devaluation, 'sick of fat people trying to be the next civil rights issue and making it that much harder to get civil rights for people who are ACTUALLY oppressed like gee idk poc and muslims and the mentally ill and queer people', frequently fantasizes about committing violent acts against people I rationalize they deserve it including family members, untruthful, attention whore, pedantic AND pretentious, tells lies, doesn't believe in one sister's claim of sexual assault (went to smoke weed with the alleged perpetrator), UNAPOLOGETICALLY AGAINST ASEXUAL EXCLUSIONISM (LITERALLY FUCK YOU DUMBASS FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS WHO SHRIEK THAT QUEER IS A SLUR, SHUT YOUR GODDAM FUCKING WHORE MOUTHS YOU DUMBASSES AND GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE OR READ A BOOK), would absolutely punch a child over an insignificant internet argument, secretly sought out sexual pleasure from two friendly seemingly platonic encounters with two girls I just met within twenty four hours, overreacts to the slightest provocations and has bitches at or vagueposted at several people who did not deserve it, has used mental illness and physical handicap to evade trouble from being late for work because video games and laziness and excessive sleep, has spent maybe a thousand dollars on fast food in 2018 alone, evades bills for medical care from an actually great clinic, lying sack of garbage, gave up on calling out family's bigotry and is now an accessory to prejudice, despises terfs predominantly for their refusal to fuck me because of being trans and yet meanwhile would not engage in sexual relationship with another trans woman or cis man unless reeeeeeeeally drunk, can and will blame being sexually assaulted as a child which probably didn't even happen because I don't think I remember it, unabashed furry, probably as addicted to video games and masturbation AND LIES as I almost was to alcohol, pretended to have almost been an alcoholic just to "win" facebook arguments about addiction, doesn't give a fuck my dad almost died from heroin JUST because he's a *little* homophobic and racist and classist and xenophobic because of a christian upbringing, would literally fucking murder him if he EVER PUTS HIS HANDS ON ME AGAIN, only slightly depressed because of laziness and a lack of drive and ungrateful to my family because hey they didn't kick me out for being trans so HEY THATS SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH FOR SOME OTHER PEOPLE SO WHY CANT I BE HAPPY WITH THAT, legitimately salty about ~the friendzone~ and just makes fun of incels because everybody else does, takes the moral high ground for not being a misogynist even though I don't deserve a pat on the back a lap dance and a blowjob for not hating women, overly sensitive about stupid things, thinking about faking having a trigger warning for more discourse credit, HUUUGE ASSHOLE to men I deem unattractive for no other reason than every single ugly fat guy I've ever met has been an asshole, rationalizes it after the fact because they eventually say something shitty because all men are terrible, probably a little bit of a cisnormative misandrist because trans men tend to be much better people, finds trans men attractive (specifically and significantly more so than cis men) so must clearly be fetishizing them, relatively okay with people referring to me as deadnamed and the wrong pronouns so probably just lying about being trans to everyone including myself, not 100% okay with the hijab for 'no reason other than all organized religion is evil and opposed to its mandate and the shame it forces on many women in many situations the exact same way I'm opposed to no sex before marriage and wives being subservient to their husbands and treating women as property in the torah and quran alike because ITS ALL BRAINWASHING' so is clearly not unlearning islamophobia and doesn't want to let that go, hypocrite because I believe in the basics of judeochristianity

and loathe atheism and atheists entirely because their smugness and smarm literally sets my blood pressure through the roof of what is safe and normal and yet claim to hate all organized religion, mansplains yet gets so pissed off when other people mansplain to me, judgmental of other cultures because they don't have the exact same values that I have, james gunn apologist, talks and talks and talks about anarchosocialism all damn day but would beat the shit out of a coworker for leaving me to do things because they're lazy because "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and other capitalismisms, literally couldn't give less of a fuck that his mother is dying because people die but it's no reason to make my life slightly harder and making me work hard when I work because BOO HOO MY LEGS HURT FROM THE LITERALLY MOST MILD CASE OF MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY I COULD'VE BEEN BORN WITH, hasn't actually performed real suicide attempt ever but still claims to have done so to attain sympathy that may result in physical affection, countless other shitty terrible things that yeah I recognize are bad but CANT SEEM TO CARE BECAUSE I HAVE DEPRESSION... WHICH IS THE WEAKEST FUCKING EXCUSE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD

I am not a good person, okay?

I just pretend to be sometimes.

I'm sick of doing it, I'm sick of trying to do well and earn people's approval by doing and saying the right things only to just be ignored which is a step up from receiving many anons that hey, never actually told me to kill myself, but did take my words out of context to paint me as a racist. I am not the kind of racist who would vote for trump and march with the kkk. that is one of very few good things I can say about myself. but I'm an arrogant, violent, and angry opinionated perverted manipulative judgmental lying asshole. I'm not a good person. I have let myself fall so much and I deserve to be alone. my only connections to people were built on personal gain and I swear to myself that I do love them but those feelings fall away in direct correlation to how much they interact with me. I could love you to the point of obsession and stalking and one month later be completely and totally disinterested. I'm a bigot who pretends to not be bigoted and just parrots what other people say not because I believe it but because it's the right thing to say, and I only say what the right thing is to say because whenever I say a good thing something good will happen to me and if I say a bad thing something bad happens to me. it's all just self preservation, nothing else at all. but now I'm at the end of a road of just trying to do good and I'm alone. out of the only two friends that I can really say that I have left, one is far away and trapped in a guilt spiral that I caused by being too clingy, and the other has been behaving in a way my mind has decoded as defensive around me which makes sense as I have been very... the best way to describe it would be the way a dudebro incel interacts with any person who possesses a vagina/breasts but sneakier. in both relationships I've pushed my own wants and desires in extremis... I can't for the life of me recall the last time I have ever offered something in return other than my own company or paying for a meal at a restaurant or I guess transportation. and instead of sex I just want them to express even the slightest bit of intimate platonic physical affection towards me but that's still a lot to offer someone who has clearly expressed the existence of a sexual and maybe something near the realms of romantic in one of the cases physical attraction because for this aspec it's practically the same fucking thing.

and I've manipulated them to attain this goal. at this point my shit brain has considered just fucking going to town on my wrists with a razor blade to draw sympathy so that I'll get a hug or something beyond just a simply hello/goodbye, and finding a way to induce tears to concoct a sob story to reach the same end result, and one time very briefly via threat and intimidation so you can clearly see that I've gone far too into irredeemable territory. I've been playing and replaying cry of fear because it's just too similar to my own issues and the first ending where he just kills everyone he loves and then himself... I see me in that ending. and it scares me so much more than the sprinting screaming twitching one hit kill chainsaw guy ever will. I don't want that to be me, I want to change something, but I just can't get the help that I need. I had hoped to go for a domino effect, where if I could be cuddled for like five minutes or something, I'd have the energy to be more hygienic, which would make me feel capable enough to take on two jobs, which would get me the cash flow I need to pay my bills and take care of my hormones, which would put me in the headspace necessary to effectively use psychological help, which would let me get over my illnesses and actually become a more successful person instead of the pathetic husk I am here in non-fantasy land.

but that won't happen.

I'm just sitting here in the dark angsting about how nobody will touch me in a way that would produce oxytocin, and it's making me so sick, so physically sick, that it's affecting my brain too. I'm in pain, nauseous, vengeful, spiteful, paranoid, judgmental, and lonely. I'm stuck and I can't even kill myself because my mind wants me to stay alive and suffer through all of this because "oh it gets better" people have been saying that for well over half of my life. I was six or seven years old when I asked my mother to kill me, and that same level of desperation and bitterness has only gotten worse as time goes by. when does it get better? I'll tell you when it gets better, after I'm in prison or comatose or forty five years old with a cane and bad eyes and high blood pressure and lung cancer from all the secondhand smoke I've breathed in my life. when my life is over, that's when it gets better. I DONT WANT THAT. I WANT A NORMAL FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW. I WANT NORMAL FRIENDSHIPS AND A NORMAL HOME AND A NORMAL EDUCATION AND A NORMAL CAREER AND A NORMAL FAMILY. or at least I want someone to hold me and make me feel like I'm not so horrible and broken that I can't be touched.

but that's too much to ask for.

[mxnstrxlogy]

idk a theory about ‘gorgeous’ by taylor swift

ok I wouldnt really normally do this but I’ve just listened to Gorgeous on Reputation by Taylor Swift about a million times and I’ve had a spliff and this song has REALLY confused me, so here’s some of my thoughts on a potential theory because the way it’s worded, to me, makes it seem like it’s not as simple as the love song people are taking it as.

1. Right so the VERY first line is “You should take it as a compliment” which I think is very telling considering most women have heard that from a man, preceded by something that’s definitely not complimentary like catcalling (or being groped, as T was ... hmmm)

2. This shift in responsibility (ie this was just a bit of fun, why are you making an ordeal about it, sounds familiar huh?) is mirrored not only in this song “You should think about the consequence /Of your magnetic field being a little too strong”, “You're so cool, it makes me hate you so much” but also in the rest of the album; the sentence “look what you made me do” is basically shifting blame from the perpetrator to the victim (which is why i was confused about the name of the single ...). What’s more is with the line “There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have”, she’s not angry at the fact she can’t have someone (Tay of all people should know that people cannot belong to you??) but at the person in question. If you think about it that’s petty and manipulative “you won’t be with me because you love someone else therefore I hate you” mind set is so childish and entitled.

3. This is all the more interesting considering we haven’t really heard this form of “love” in the shape of such an accusatory, guilt worthy attack, or at least not to the same extent with Taylor before which could be a lyrical way of putting this song aside from Tay’s other love songs. It could even be a direct hint from Tay herself (who we all know is SUPER calculating and analyses EVERYTHING so wants the listener to as well) telling us to not take the song at face value (a love song) because she’s actually saying “you could take this as a love song and fulfil the prophecy that all I do is sing about my exes” OR actually look deeper and listen closely realising it’s a lot more complex.

4. interestingly enough there’s an obvious semantic field of anger: “i hate you so much”, “You've ruined my life”, “And I'm so furious”, “There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have” which surely contradicts the professed love for this person, right?

5. There’s a very pejorative aspect that goes on throughout the song, we hear a lot of negativity. ”You should think about the consequence / Of your magnetic field being a little too strong” sounds like a scolding, “He's in the club doing, I don't know what” sounds like her complaining/bitching, “I hate you so much” enough said, “You've ruined my life”, “I'm so furious”, “I’m jealous of her”, “That’s honestly worse”, “it makes me so mad”, “I feel like I might sink and drown and die” wow that is a pretty dire and scary situation no? and here we see the escalation but seriously my dudes it’s ALL over the song with this hella negative narration of events.  The extreme beauty of this person has turned her into this crazy, ANGRY and obsessive individual.

5. Ok call me crazy but to me the whole song also seems a lot more superficial than her typical heartfelt love songs. Hell just give “Call it what you want” a listen and there are SO MANY lyrics that imply a very profound and meaningful connection and a detailed metaphorical account of what goes on between them. In ‘Gorgeous’ all we REALLY know is that she has admired this person from a distance, they’ve touched hands at a party together where T got drunk and made fun of his voice, she actually has a boyfriend but he isn’t there, she doesn’t even know whether HE has a girlfriend, that’s how little she knows about this person. The whole narrative rings very hollow and superficial to me

6. “I can’t say anything to your face, cause look at your face” ok so this person is so overwhelmingly beautiful she cannot even speak to them? Ok this may be a generalisation and exaggeration of the reality but it’s put so bluntly (and sang in the same blunt tone) that to me it almost seems like she’s saying they haven’t EVER had a conversation. So WHY would she be SO infatuated with somebody she’s never spoken to? Unless it’s ONLY superficial attraction from a distance (clues in physical description and adjectives used: “You're so cool”, “You're so gorgeous”, “Ocean blue eyes”) confirmed later in the line “You should take it as a compliment / That I'm talking to everyone here but you”. So this person should not only see the value in, and even appreciate her behaviour (not interacting and actively avoiding talking to this person)? umm ok yeah that’s normal

7. Bearing in mind that we know about Taylor’s experience of a man inappropriately touching her, or helping himself to something that isn’t his, all of the points I’ve made so far either seem like extreme hypocrisy on Taylor’s part (the entitlement in her expectation that she is owed this person’s love/attention simply because that’s how she feels, the anger she feels towards not only the situation as a whole but to the person she professes to love? and the distancing/disassociation of not talking to them) or, to me, could be construed as a subtle way of critiquing the Nice Guy™.

“The Nice Guy™ believes that if he is nice to a girl and actually treats her with respect, then that girl should want to have sex with him. Actually, the concept goes a step further by allowing the Nice Guy™ to feel entitled to sex with the girl of his choice simply because he has treated her with some sort of basic human decency for an extended period of time.” (https://medium.com/@KevBeirne/rape-culture-and-the-friend-zone-aecc31c4d598).

It’s not for no reason that Taylor would write a song from the perspective of someone in the “friendzone”. The friendzone is the most subtle and therefore one of the most insidious aspects of rape culture because it paints women as machines that if you put “’nice coins” into, you will eventually get sex in return. That a woman’s own desires and feelings are unimportant in comparison to a man’s desire to fuck her. We see this in lines like “you should take it as a compliment”, “And I'm so furious / At you for making me feel this way”, “Ocean blue eyes looking in mine/ I feel like I might sink and drown and die” which are all the kinds of manipulative and controlling (borderline abusive) things said by those who victim blame. 

Gorgeous depicts someone who becomes obsessive over someone they hardly know, puts them on a pedestal as something to be desire/revered (which is dehumanising in a sense that everything on the inside, the personality and soul of this other person isn’t actually important) and then when “refused” they hold it against the victim like a personal vendetta that they should feel extremely guilty for. . We  could interpret it as a critique of the culture around men feeling women owe them things like sex, respect and even love simply because they are men. Because a dudebro stuck in the friendzone bitching about it seems harmless, but this is the thin end of the wedge. That type of individual is the kind who could easily “snap”, feeling they are owed something can lead to them “helping themselves” or taking some kind of stand against their “suffering” which is precisely when they may take advantage of another individual, whether that’s grabbing someone’s ass, forcing or manipulating them to kiss them, or far worse. We know this is a subject dear to Taylor’s heart; she sued her aggressor for $1 to demonstrate that it wasn’t just for the money but to send a message that even something as “harmless” as having your butt grabbed should absolutely not be tolerated.

I’m really struggling to put this all together clearly but basically Niceguy/friendzone mentality can lead to sexual assault, which Taylor has suffered, so she’s trying to point out this kind of dehumanising “love” exhibited by The Nice Guy and its potentially dangerous outcomes. Gorgeous is even more symbolic because the song IN ITSELF sounds super harmless and even cute! Nice Guy behaviour is exactly the same, though it seems totally harmless it can have some serious and insidious outcomes.

my dudes idk if this just sounds like me massively overanalysing this shit but whatevs enjoy

[lucystillintheskywithdiamonds]

I was looking at the most recent comments added to this post  and I’m like ‘2009 called they want their wank back’

people can’t be decent

but they love Uhura xD !!! !!! and the trek fandom is so non toxic. 8 years you all. 8 fucking years and we still read these things.

First of all, I’m uncertain how these people thought they were ‘100% agreeing’ with the OP (who deleted their original post now, after seeing the above replies in their activity page I presume - since I reblogged it from the OP just the other day so I know it was still there )  and @janeykath318. This is like the first joke of many. They seem to, irorically, pretty much prove OP’s point though.

Now, in another time and place I would have replied to these people and call them out on their misogynoiristic crap (and give them some perspective about what it really means being a bitch) but I’m, honestly, sick and tired of this shit  and m/m slash fans who have to constantly try to DERAIL every damn pro Uhura and S/U post (they did that even in my last edit about her fyi) with the same old anti-ship stuff and transparent, blatant, CONCERN TROLLING.  It’s ridiculous. I’m sick and tired of actual Uhura fans having to defend her in ways we fucking shouldn’t do in 2017.  It’s just not possible that there are people like this who can serioustly say the above shit about a female character JUST because she gets in the way of a slash ship.  I’m sick of the  blatant hypocrisy, and double standards, of the dudebro fans who STILL try to hide their bias and insecurities behind faux feminism. Talking about the actual movies with them and how Uhura is really written is a loss of time because these people live in their own alternate reality (probably they are projecting the anti-ship/anti Uhura fanfictions on the actual canon too now; we know that there are tons of fanfictions that portray her exactly like the descriptions above) and frankly, they sound so over the top mysoginistic (and racist. because let’s not pretend some of those comments aren’t all on that ‘uppity black woman’ prejudices, see the point about how Uhura apparently is written as someone who thinks she’s better than others just because she’s poised and ..wears a sleek ponytail???? guess now all the women who are styled like her are bitches? what the actual fuck???) and absurd, that I bet some people who aren’t deep in the fandom will believe that they are just trolling and not even in a convincing way.

and for the love of everything that is holy,  can people at least have the decency to not claim that they love Uhura  after saying shit about her?  If you hate her so damn much fine, but telling us that you love her after all the crap you said about her is like a damn joke.  Like, how do you even expect people to respond to that???! It’s not like if you say ‘but I love Uhura’ suddenly you get a free pass and your posts will come across as being the opposite of what they actually are.  You claiming that you ‘love Uhura’ and ‘hate people who hate on her’ is as disingenuos and DELUSIONAL as you claiming that your hatred has nothing to do with your ship, in spite of that being the fucking most obvious thing that someone can find obvious. It’s years and you all still believe that you can fool us and hide your ulterior motives. And don’t fucking dare to  ‘we just critical thinking of something we love’  me. There is critical thinking and there is BASHING and yours is the latter. Besides, you all make it pretty hard to not notice that your so called fake ass ‘critical thinking’ is always limited to bitching about Uhura and your  ‘rival ship’ ONLY.  Never read any of these folks complaining about how hardly developed the male characters, both primary and secondary, are or the fact that McCoy is ‘reduced to Kirk’s friend’, or how unhealthy and FORCED the bromance actually is to other fans.  And it’s a damn joke you all want to concern troll that Uhura is defined by her relationship with Spock, ALL THE WHILE you constantly preach about how your faves must be totally defined by their relationship with another dude.  Frankly,  if it were for some folks here who constantly whine about Uhura and her relationship, Spock would have no life outside of the bromances and he should have no other purpose in the story but make your fave dude more... ‘special’. Your so called ‘critical thinking’ only consists in constantly hating on Uhura and S/U for getting in the way of your ship, and ostensibly try to paint them as ‘problematic’ dynamic of this trek for everything you love when it comes to the dudes and the dudebros, in and out of canon. So spare me. Why should Uhura fans even defend her to people like you? why should S/U fans justify themselves for liking the canon pair to people who are so blatantly hypocritical and don’t even follow what they preach? You will always hate S/U and Uhura regardless, by default. And it’s even ok, as long as you don’t insist with pretending that it’s another thing and different argument.

[amorremanet]

For the meme: Hunger Games?

my all-time ultimate fave character: Katniss and Finnick. Like, I have a lot of them who I love, but Katniss and Finnick are tied for my number one spot.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Mrs. Everdeen took a while to grow on me, but by the end of Mockingjay, she really had.

a character I used to like but now don’t: tbh, it’s not that I used to like Peeta and now don’t, because I never really liked him and I still wouldn’t say that I dislike him, personally

—but there’s a lot about Peeta, especially with regard to his and Katniss’s relationship, that I find troublesome for various reasons (e.g., the way that Katniss, who is definitely canonically dark-skinned and is written against a backdrop that’s blatantly inspired by the racialized dimensions of classism and poverty, is always contextualized as Not Really Deserving the blonde white boy, who is regularly written in terms that are super not subtle about comparing him to Jesus)

To say nothing of how the text itself seems to agree with this idea, and does shit like go, “Wow, Peeta is oppressed by the Capitol too, like damn Katniss how much of a bitch are you, I mean your family and Gale’s only haven’t very literally starved to death because you and Gale know how to hunt, but wow, damn, Peeta had to help make the goat cheese and apple tarts and he wasn’t allowed to eat them because they were too expensive, that’s totally the same thing as people in the Seam literally starving to death”

Like, I���m not saying that Peeta and his family weren’t oppressed by the Capitol, because they were…… but it’s explicitly established in-text that the Capitol manufactures gradations as part of how they try to keep the Districts all fighting each other instead of fighting them, so yes, Peeta and his family did not experience the same thing as Gale, Katniss, and theirs, and part of that difference was how the Mellarks didn’t need to worry about getting enough to eat, they just couldn’t eat the expensive treats

The thing that bugs me the most, though, is the way that Peeta has supposedly been in love with Katniss since they were kids — except……… how? How can you say that he has truly been in love with Katniss when he, by his own goddamn admission, knew basically nothing about her and never even tried to get to know her for real? I’d buy that he was in love with his ludicrous headcanons about Katniss, but that’s not the same as being in love with Katniss Everdeen: Actual Person

And sorry not sorry, Peeta, but it is NOT true that you, “couldn’t talk to her”; you COULD have talked to Katniss and you chose not to talk to Katniss or deal with her at all in any context where you didn’t have the power of life and death over her (whether it was because she was literally dying of starvation, or because she needed you to make her look sympathetic to viewers in the 74th Games, and you needed her to literally and immediately keep you alive)

……Also, his version of how he fell in love with her has way too much in common with Dante Alighieri’s account of how he first fell in love with Beatrice Portinari for me to be truly okay with it, because Dante is one of the Western Literary Canon’s biggest examples of entitled dudebros who objectify women even while they claim to adore them (because over-idealizing someone is a form of dehumanizing them).

This said, I still don’t dislike Peeta. I just don’t think he’s that great, or that he’s as pure and innocent and cinnamon roll-ish as the books and fandom all make him out to be. Even without my misgivings about Ever*lark, ffs, he is one of the sneakiest, most manipulative characters in the series, and his BS sense of entitlement doesn’t only come out with Katniss

a character I’m indifferent about: Presidents Coin and Snow are both well-executed villains, but I don’t have a lot of feelings about them, personally. They were actually helped by the movies, for me, because Donald Sutherland and Julianne Moore were both really good in their roles, and it made me like them a little more, even if it still didn’t make me have feelings about them or anything

a character who deserved better: Most of them, tbh, but my top six are (in no particular order) Johanna, Madge, Rue, Annie, Finnick, and Gale

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Katniss/Peeta, see above

But also? Gale/Madge. In my experience, the whole thing only exists so people can have some kind of “uptown girl” fantasy and go, “Look, see, I don’t hate Gale!!! Stop saying that I hate Gale!!! Just let me shove him off to the side and completely mischaracterize the shit out of him and pair him up with Madge for no reason beyond getting him out of the way so I can have Katniss/Peeta!!!!”

Also, Madge Undersee is a lesbian. #sorrynotsorry

Even worse: Effie/Haymitch. For one thing, both of them are gay. I don’t know what books everybody else is reading, but in MY copies of the books, Effie and Haymitch are both gay as fuck, why would you pair up a gay man and a lesbian like that unless it’s like, a situation where Effie and Haymitch get married so no one knows that they’re actually married to Portia and Cinna, respectively

But aside from that (because it’s admittedly a matter of my own headcanons even though I refuse to back down from them), I just??? Effie/Haymitch is just so blatantly a bunch of straight nonsense, pairing the two of them up because he’s a man and she’s a woman and therefore any time they exchange more than two words, it’s ~flirting~ even when Effie has HAPPILY AND ENERGETICALLY been a part of the system that treats all the kids Haymitch as mentored as if their lives mean nothing, and she’s been helping shepherd them to their deaths without getting that this is not good until it affects Katniss and Peeta (which only makes Effie get it because she likes them), and as much as Haymitch’s distaste for Effie is understandable, a lot of his lashing out at her isn’t actually coming from a place of, “I object to you for these fair reasons” so much as it’s coming from a place of Haymitch being a troll for the sake of being a troll, and I just

Why

Why is this ship a THING

Why is it so fucking POPULAR

I only understand this phenomenon in the most cynical way possible (i.e., the way where my explanation for it is, “they are so popular because it’s an M/F ship and, in the movies, both of them are white, even though Haymitch has dark skin and black hair, and the same racialized poverty-coded background as Gale and Katniss, in the books”)

Also, both of them are gay, sooooooo……… #sorrynotsorry

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Katniss/Johanna, Katniss/Madge, Katniss/Finnick, Annie/Finnick

a cute, low-key ship: Annie/Johanna, and in some AU where Rue and Prim both get to grow up, I think they’d be cute together.

Also, Gale/Peeta. I’m just saying, it’s a perfect solution to the issue of the alleged love triangle because it means neither of them ends up without a ship, but Katniss doesn’t have to be with either of them.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: dude, my only M/F “ship that deserves to be called an OTP” for Katniss is called a crack ship by most of the fandom, even though she and Finnick have better-written relationship development than Katniss/Peeta and even though Finnick consistently respects Katniss Everdeen: Actual Facts Person and not some shiny pretty pretty princess headcanon about her

Sure, he may not want to be her friend, at first, because he assumes, like she does, that friends are not A Thing that’s going to happen, and if he maybe feels like he has been tasked with babysitting her and Peeta during the Quarter Quell, then… that’s not actually inaccurate, because he was kinda tasked with babysitting them by the other rebels.

Like, helping the two of them to survive and getting them out of the arena was the job that Finnick and Mags were given by the other rebels, and he had to be more hands-on about it than, say, Johanna, since Katniss wanted to have an alliance with Mags, which meant she had to have one with Finnick

So, no. The two of them aren’t exactly cozying up to each other in Catching Fire, because both of them are playing certain parts and performing certain versions of themselves based on a lot of assumptions about How The Fuck This Shit Works and a lot of assumptions about their roles and positions in everything (which admittedly end up being less than accurate… because both of them have been manipulated and lied to by everybody who’s pulling the strings)

Anyway, I shouldn’t go on about this too much more because it will make me get defensive and angry, but Finnick and Katniss are my autistic children and they are not a goddamn crack ship and if I had money, I would pay people to stop saying that so I could look at their tags and only see people tagging everything with them as “BROTP,” as opposed to that plus people calling them a crack ship

Also: Finnick/Gale, Cinna/Haymitch, Annie/Katniss

Also, I didn’t really LIKE Gale/Katniss, but it made me feel more things than Katniss/Peeta (even if I have more thoughts on that one, that’s the thing: they’re thoughts, not Feels; the only thing that I ever really feel about Katniss/Peeta is frustrated), and the whole, “Katniss is all but explicitly suicidal and that’s why she wants to mack on Gale” thing from Mockingjay totally does it for a lot of my angsty catharsis interests

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Effie/Haymitch. I went, “EEEUGH” out loud when they kissed, when I say MJ2 in the theatre, and I didn’t feel bad about it because: 1. all of the people who loved them collectively when, “AWWWWW”; and 2. eww, can you say, “what the fuck is this hetero pandering bullshit”

my favourite storyline/moment: The entire, “I drag myself out of nightmares and find there’s no relief in waking. Better not to give into it” scene, because I’m a human cliché and Katniss and Finnick are my autistic children. Also, any and every Joniss scene, because I’m garbage and a human cliché and I just want them to be together, is that so bad

a storyline that never should have been written: idk about anyone else, but I personally choose to live in a world where the series-long alleged “love triangle” was between Katniss/Madge and Johanna/Katniss, and the Katniss/Peeta stuff was only ever during the Games and not actually for real, and Gale and Peeta can go do each other or something, because fuck forced hetero love triangles, that’s why

Also? I’m willing to accept that Prim’s death was legitimately necessary for the plot and the narrative, in the same way that I hate Sirius Black’s death but accept that it was necessary for the sake of the story that JKR wanted to tell, so I can just go, “I see your point and I don’t begrudge you this in canon, but I am going to headcanon around it anyway because I don’t like it”

—but there was ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to kill Finnick. See, much like JKR’s senseless murders of Remus and Tonks in DH, Finnick’s death did nothing to make a point that hadn’t already been made multiple times over, and it added nothing to the story. Yea, like JKR before her, SCollins only killed Finnick for the sake of cheap shock value and reaffirming certain ideas about heroism that the rest of the series tried to deconstruct

It was pointless, it was senseless, it wasn’t necessary, and the story, characters, and readers all deserved better than that

Finnick Odair is happy and fine and he’s definitely alive, because all that unadulterated bullshit, “lmao finnick dies” crap never happened

my first thoughts on the series: uh. The first time I tried to read the books, I didn’t even get to the games themselves, because SCollins introduced Madge, introduced the backstory of her and Katniss being like kinda friends but kinda not but they’re not sure, and I was like, “ugh, why. I already know you’re going to make me suffer this bullshit between the two boys, but why would you hand me a totally valid and much more interesting F/F option. Why” and on the other hand, because Katniss reminded me too much of myself at a point when I wasn’t ready to deal with that

my thoughts now: We all deserved better, but I say that all the time about the HP series, too, so me feeling like the series was kind of a let down in various places and criticizing different aspects of it? Isn’t going to stop me from enjoying it

Also, Finnick is fine, Madge is fine, Effie and Haymitch are gay, Gale is bi, and most of my favorite characters are autistic because I said so, that’s why (—I mean, I actually have cases based on canon evidence for Finnick and Katniss, but my real rationale here is, “I want them to be autistic, so they are now, okay peace bye”)

[mysurveys]

Random Qs

Survey #52 on the Countdown to 2018!

This one is from yesterday since I got home late, but at least it’s pretty current. I finished it close to midnight and it’s only 12:12 AM right now. I’m trying to post them as soon they’re finished.

How would you spend a day at the beach?

I would want to do more than hang out on the shoreline honestly. We're about two hours away from Galveston, TX.

I like going to the shops and some of the restaurants that look out on the beach. They also have an ice cream parlor that's great if it's summertime, but I'll go to the beach in the winter too.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?

I've never had that, but my ears have popped from going up on mountain drives before.

Was the last show you watched a rerun?

I last watched an old Gojira film I recorded which was on El Rey Network during their Kaiju Christmas Marathon.

"Have a very kaiju Christmas. It's the best time of the year. There won't be snow or mistletoe, but have a cup of kaiju cheer.

Have a very kaiju Christmas. And in case you didn't hear: oh, by golly, have a jolly Kaiju Christmas this year." #KaijuChristmas

Is there any event you wish to remember more clearly?

I have a poor memory that falls in line with other learning disabilities, but there's one major benefit.

It's so much easier to live in the here and now when your memory isn't good. My problems used to be my long-term, but it's done a 180 on me.

When your school has a snow day, how do you spend it?

We only had an "ice day" that one time when everything iced over in SETX. So I stayed the hell indoors, what do you think?

For you, what's the hardest thing about writing?

Depends on the topic really. I don't find fanfiction that hard since I'm full of ideas, but I'm less motivated to write journal entries.

If you could change your gender for a day, would you?

I would always say I wouldn't, but now I think I'd try it for just a day. How would people treat me differently? It wouldn't be a bad thing to experience for only a day, but I wouldn't want to be a dudebro full-time.

Do you respond to the people that yell out their car windows at you?

I don't drive and my mother usually drives me. She doesn't incur people's wrath that often, but I don't yell out the window at anyone if they're yelling at us. The only one with road rage in our family seems to be my father.

What’s your biggest priority right now?

My health is almost always my number one concern. My genetics are terrible so I'm obese with diabetes and hidradenitis, and I had endometriosis back when I had a uterus, cervix and tubes.

All of my ills both physical and mental are my shitty genetic inheritance from both sides of my family. None of them are unrelated to my relatives.

Do you ever make a big deal out of nothing?

I don't dramatize things I find to be small since that's useless. But if you just brush off the feelings of someone you love by saying it isn't even a real issue then you might not be doing them justice.

I've known and loved some people who honestly dramatized everything, though, and I just didn't feed into that myself.

Did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class?

I didn't pay attention to most of my classes since a lot of things they teach in public schools here tend to be garbage, like popular myths in history class or the subjective and sometimes outdated information in English classes.

I only focused on a few different things in my literature arts classes and some art projects.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself?

That's only happened once or twice. The last time I felt fatigued and wasn't allowed to get up for hours so I mostly watched TV that night.

I had my uterus, cervix and tubes all removed after dealing with endometriosis and other concurrent problems since my first period at age nine. But they treated me like I was much older. I should've been allowed up sooner.

What does it feel like to fall asleep in someone’s arms?

I've never found it very comfortable.

Do you recall the first time you learned the truth about sex?

My middle school was going to educate us on our periods, but they called it "Sex Ed" when they told our parents.

Mine assumed I was about to get the 411 on everything so my mother gave me "the talk" first in a bizarrely clinical way. Awkward.

How do you hold or position your pillow while you sleep?

I use two of them and sometimes I'll hug the edges.

What's a common sleeping position for you?

I prefer my right side unless I need to digest well.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet?

I remember doing that for my maternal grandmother as a kid and I didn't find it to be horrible.

Is there a food that makes you sick just thinking about it?

Not really, but I love foods like octopus and squid sashimi or even crawfish. I'm more open to foods that some people find gross. I've only ever thrown up after eating a lot of spinach. I really can't stand that on its own.

What's one thing you fantasize or daydream about doing?

I don't really do that regarding my own life, I'll just do that over fanfic ideas.

When was the last time you were on a swing set?

I haven't been on one since we lived in our second house, but I don't remember my age when I stopped using my swing set.

Have you ever had perfect attendance in school?

I don't remember.

Have you ever written anything on a bathroom stall?

I've never felt the desire to do that.

Do you find extreme bodybuilders attractive?

I'm not attracted to that at all.

Do you or would you own a pair of giant sunglasses?

I'd rather not.

Are your hands unsteady?

They definitely shake chronically after trying several medications in my late adolescence.

Are you envious of anyone’s artistic abilities?

I don't waste my time envying other people's talents and skills. If I want to do something myself then I'll focus on learning it since it's possible to do a lot without being innately gifted. If I can't learn it then I should focus on the gifts I've already got.

Do you ignore people when you’re mad or upset with them?

It's in my nature to confront things. I'm courageous, headstrong and outspoken so I don't retreat most of the time.

I've learned to just ignore people if they can't handle an honest conversation, though. If you're not mature enough to do that, I'm not going to bother paying attention to what you've got to complain about.

Are you starting to realize anything?

I just realized I need to get to bed soon. I'll continue this survey later today and I'm stopping at 2:35 AM on the 28th.

Are you okay right now?

I'm restarting this at 10:58 PM the same day and I'm doing really good after a night out with family members and a friend.

Is there anything you can never forget?

Short of amnesia or senility, there are tons of things I'm not going forget.

Are you stubborn?

Usually.

Has anyone told you that you’re amazing?

Yes.

Have you ever cried uncontrollably on a boy’s shoulder before?

I haven't done that on anyone's shoulder. I've cried on my mother's as a child, but I wasn't uncontrollably sobbing on her. That's not something I'd find comforting.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now?

I never dwelt on the past or the future.

Who were you last in a car with?

My mother and my cousin.

What time did you get up today?

I don't know what time it was when I first woke up, but I went back to bed since I felt sick. It was about three in the afternoon when I finally got up and didn't feel so bad, though.

Have you ever slept on a couch with someone?

I haven't.

Who called you at midnight on your birthday?

I'm thankful that no one does that.

When was the last time you saw your mom?

Just a few minutes ago.

What's the last thing you drank today?

Diet Mt. Dew.

Who did you last talk to in person?

My mother.

Is it easy for someone to make you smile and laugh?

It depends on my mood, the situation, who it is.

Do you ever choke on your own spit?

I remember that happening before throwing up since my saliva gets hot and I'll start drooling. /TMI

Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

If I'm not good enough for someone else then I don't need them in my life. I don't need to be loved by everyone, though, I just need to be loved by God and a few good people. I am so I'm very blessed.

What’s standing in the way of what you want right now, if anything?

Realistically, there are things I can't have. The main thing is better health. I just have horrible genetics. Other things I could ask for are relatively minor and I have the things I honestly need in life.

Are you scared of moving on?

There isn't anything I've feared moving on from in my life. I'm pretty adaptable and some changes are great.

If someone loved you right now, would you want them to tell you?

I'm not interested in romantic love these days. But it would be better for them to get it off their chest and know that I'm not looking for a partner and that I may never feel that way about them. Rejection is better than unrequited love.

Is anything bothering you?

Not right now.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?

I sincerely hope not since I hate talking on the phone.

Have you ever loved someone older than you?

I think all of my exes have been older and I prefer them to be so by at least five years.

Has your partner ever stayed up with you all night?

Maybe on the phone? I'm not sure.

Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

I really don't remember if it was that long, but I know we spent hours.

Are you afraid to grow up?

I'm 31, thanks, and I'm more content as an adult than I was as a child.

Are you looking forward to anything?

We might be going to Galveston tomorrow depending on the weather and how everyone feels. I don't know, they've changed their plans so many times that looking forward to it is difficult now. If it happens then that's great.

Have you ever been called a bitch?

I've had friends call me an "alpha bitch" before, though. They know I'm outspoken, dominant, strong-willed, etc. That's not something that bothers me. It just depends on the context and intentions in that case.

If that's happened before with others in a negative sense, it wasn't by anyone I personally cared about. I don’t really remember.

Could you use some sleep right now?

If I'm getting up at nine tomorrow morning then I need to go to bed by at least one or two, but I'm not tired just yet.